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#cause yeah.... can we please start giving me a Bit more credit before i start screaming??
pupcuck · 4 months
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JINGLE BELL COCK !
ft. leon s. kennedy x fem!reader
tags. p in v, uncle/niece incest, somno
notes. MERRY CHRISTMAS!! this is very messy and rushed i haven’t been able to write properly lately so forgive me for the repetitiveness and clunkiness!! ignore typos as always :3 feedback n rbs always appreciated !!! this is reallyyy sloppy and I’m embarrassed so I may go back and delete and rewrite in a few days time 😭
tumblr has started to remove fics that use tw non-con, tw incest and any nsfw tags in general. for this reason, as i’d like my fic to appear in the tags so i can have the same reach as other authors, please understand that this fic contains dark content under the cut. reading this comes at your own risk.
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“Woah,” Leon's knees almost buckle when you barrel into him, “Pumpkin, wow,” He takes you in, settles his hands on your hips, and it might be inappropriate ‘cause your mother glares at him over your shoulder. What did she want him to do? Grab your ass? Could’ve, should’ve, would’ve. Just doesn’t wanna get put on a list of some kind. “You’re so big now.”
“Yeah?” Your cheeks split with a sweet smile, “I missed you, uncle.”
“God, you’re so big I can’t believe it,” He gives you a once over, he’d like to catcall you to show you how he feels, Leon refrains from doing so. “I remember when you were a kid, always sat in my lap ‘n said you wanted to marry me.”
“Awww,” A gloved hand comes to pat his cheek, you take the tip of the fabric between your teeth, taking it off finger by finger, “I can do that again if you’d really like, uncle.” Your nails scratch his scruffy chin, press your finger into the divot he hates so much, then you stare right at it. Don’t look at that, god. Totally messed him over. Shit fucked up his golden ratio.
“What're you lookin’ at, pumpkin?” He shifts from foot to foot, moves his flight bag from one shoulder to the other.
“Just never seen you with a beard,” You shrug, beaming at him once more. Okay, not the chin then, thank fuck. “It’s cute, uncle, makes you look older.” Leon doesn’t know if that’s good or bad, though he feels his spinal disk shrink with each passing second.
You turn on your heels when his sister-in-law, fine as ever, says your name, “We should go before she gets pissy.” You tell him cheekily, taking his hand in yours, and you’re so big now he can’t believe it. A whole lot of tit, hip, and your ass ain’t too shabby either. Leon’s justification is that he’s only a man, can't help himself when he sees a pretty girl, even if said girl is his niece. He’s an honest guy, gotta give his brother props for marrying such a smokeshow, even more credit for knocking her up. ‘Cause she popped out an even hotter girl, younger, brighter, and your tits sit prettier.
Their family stands on crumbling foundations, when he’s around his brother, Leon’s five seconds away from blowing his brains out at any given moment. He doesn’t know why people question his suicidal tendencies, he’s more than willing to show them. Snow crunches under his boots as he navigates the path leading up to the front door. The layer of glossy red paint has chipped away to reveal the mahogany beneath. It’s been that long, huh?
“I’m in college now, I have my licence and everything, uncle, I wanted to visit you in D.C. but I couldn’t get ahold of you,” You chatter to him, tugging at your laces and propping your shoes up on the shelf near the door, make the move to grab his suitcase, but Leon swiftly moves it aside. “I can carry it, I’m a big girl now.”
“No, you’re not,” Leon frowns, to him you’re a baby. An undeveloped prefrontal cortex and a soft spot on the top of your head. Yeah, you got a rack now, sure, he wants to fuck you now - doesn’t change a thing.
“Okay, well did you bring me a present?” You trail after him, and you really are still a baby.
“Yeah, you’re my favourite girl, I bought you lots.” He’s not sure if you’ll like it. Colouring books, dolls, plastic jewellery. He’s a bit of an idiot. Didn’t think about how long it’s been.
“Can I open them now?” You seat yourself next to him on the couch, knee bumping his.
“Later, pumpkin, I promise.”
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“I want to transfer to Washington.” Wine trickles over the edge of your cup, Leon soaks it up with a napkin, dabs at your face when a rivulet dribbles down your chin.
His brother’s knocked out in their dad’s old armchair, it’s beyond saving, but he’s cheap. Your mom retired to bed a while back, they argued over something trivial, a cheeseboard or some shit, and with that it leaves the two of you.
“Yeah? You got friends out there or what?”
“No, but you’re there, uncle.” You grin, batting your lashes so pretty he gets without popping a viagra or two. Three. He needs three minimum. “I could come stay with you, right?”
Fuck no, under no circumstance should he be allowed within fifty feet of you. And here Leon is, bumping knees, brushing fingers like you’re lovesick teens on a first date. That’s just not right, is it? He’s a decrepit old man on his way to getting a senior bus pass, and he’s your uncle and all. Can’t really go around popping boners over family members.
“I work too much.” Leon says coolly, sweat dripping from his temple, drumming his fingers against the table. “Hey, you wanna open your presents?”
“Yes!” You nod with wild enthusiasm, like a bobblehead, cute ones you keep on the dashboard. Leon would love to take you home with him, display you on the mantle like a China doll, show you off like some rare artefact. Just can’t, he’d end up doing something awful, peeking in on you showering— or worse he’d start sleepwalking, get into your room- “Go get them then, uncle.”
The paper is pink, the shade you used to adore as a young girl, the colour you’ve since painted over in your room. He got that professionally wrapped, big bow on it and all. Leon’s not good at making things look pretty. It’s easier to assemble a gun than it is to wrap presents. Your name is scrawled on the tag in cursive writing that belongs to none other than Claire, she insisted on doing so, felt inclined after seeing his chicken-scratch.
“It’s for me, you shouldn’t have, uncle!” You snatch it out of his hands, Jesus, had more manners when you were a kid. Once you tear through the paper, you blink down at the plastic princess costume jewellery. Clip-on earrings, fluffy mules that are much too tiny, the whole lot. “Oh, wow, well, it sure is nice.”
“Pumpkin,” Leon starts, “It slipped my mind that you’re a big girl now, I wasn’t thinkin’ and I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” You placate him with your smile, “I’m just glad you’re here.” Cheesy, still makes him swoon.
“We can go shopping ‘fore I go back, I’ll buy you whatever, yeah?”
“I don’t need that,” You shake your head, eyes flitting from his lower half then to his lips. He’s making shit up in his head now. It’s late, Leon should go to sleep, doesn’t wanna start kissing on you and end up in court. “Oh, you’re going already?”
“I’m tired, pumpkin.” My dick is so hard it’s cutting off all blood flow to my brain, my pants are squeezing it so tight I’m gonna contract sepsis and that shit will fall straight off, I don’t want my dick to fall off, pumpkin, hope you can understand my reasoning. Leon hopes you can see the desperation in his eyes, that you can see the sentiment he’s trying to get across.
The bed creaks with his weight, and it’s the same dusty, bed-bug ridden shit his brother’s had for years. He jerks off, blows his load on his stomach, too worn out to clean it up. Falls asleep with his hand down his pants. Then Leon starts having wet dreams like he’s twenty-one again, of your petal lips, of your hands on his dick, your tits, how your thighs look when you sit. Warmth engulfs his cock, and it’s so real, he’s so sure you’re right there, sucking him off like a good girl. You’re cute like a sex doll, and it’s unfair that he has to put on this uncle act. Used to come natural to him when you were a kid, but it’s just different.
Only when Leon lifts his hand does he come into contact with skin, with hair, and a human. At first, he thinks it’s the dog, one of the three. Then he feels small hands parting his thighs further, the familiarity of your smile warming his skin.
“Pumpkin.” Leon rasps, and it’s not quite warning, just a tone that says keep going, but this is fucked up, doesn’t mean I don’t want it though. He thanks you for making the first move.
You pull off with a wet pop, kissing along his Apollo’s belt. “I want to come to D.C. and stay with you,” You say between fervid kisses, “I want to be with you, uncle, you’re handsome and I like you.” Your confession is feverish, he wonders if you realise the weight of your words. Can’t go around telling lonely old men that you like ‘em.
“I’m your uncle, pumpkin.” Leon states simply, ‘cause he’s an adult and he’s collected, but you can keep pumping his dick like that, he really don’t mind.
“No one would know,” You kiss the sticky tip, pre smeared over your lips like lip gloss, tongue poking out to taste him, dipping into his leaky slit. “I could be your girlfriend.” Leon doesn’t even know you, he knows the little girl you once were.
Leon’s too old for that shit. Girlfriend boyfriend talk. “I’m too old to be dating, pumpkin.” He cradles the back of your head with his calloused hand, guides you to base of his shaft, your tongue tracing the vein that runs along the underside of his cock.
“Yeah, but you’re not too old to marry me, are you?” You’re a clever girl, giving him a cheeky smile as you sit up and clamber into his lap.
“What’s gotten into you, pumpkin?” Don’t stop, pumpkin. Same thing. He hopes his dick says enough, standing proud as you lift your hips, wet hole stretching to accommodate his fat tip. Leon can’t see your face, but he shuts his eyes and thinks about it, how your lips would part so pretty, and you’d toss your head back, sweat making your skin all shiny.
“I just really like you, uncle.” One way ticket out of this shitty town, away from his shitry brother, away from your narc bitch of a mom, free food, free housing - Leon understands your motive. Truly, he does, and he can’t find it in himself to give a damn. If you pretend to love then it matters all the same.
“Okay, then sit on it, pumpkin.” Leon urges, firm hands finding purchase on your hips, forcing you down on his cock till you take all of him to the hilt. The head bumps your cervix, and Leon is in love with you. Thank fuck he came back home, thank god, thank Claire for pushing him to the point of booking a flight. “You wanna marry me?”
“I told you, didn’t I? Promised I was gonna marry you when I was a kid.” You press your tits flush to his chest, lips ghosting Leon’s. “I wanna marry you so bad, uncle, you’re all I want.” And Leon can’t help himself, doesn’t mean to let go so early, the coils of heat in his belly turn searing, and he empties himself into you with a groan. The quiet noise of disappointing you let out as his cock softens inside of you is adorable.
“You gotta get used to that if you marry me, I’m old now.” He strokes your head, holds you tight, refuses to let go now that he’s got you.
“I can deal with it, uncle, as long as I get to be your wife.”
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gunilslaugh · 26 days
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5 Minute Boyfriend
Kim Jungsu
Summary: When you run into your ex of course the only logical thing to do was make Jungsu be your fake boyfriend. (non-idol au)
WC:903
Warning:none
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photo not mine credits to owner.
What started as a nice day out with your friend Jungsu quickly took a turn when you saw your ex walking towards you, sporting a new girl on his arm. It had been two months since you two broke up. It was necessarily a bad break up. You both realized that you weren’t really meant for each other, so you split. You were originally planning on ignoring him, however you just had to make eye contact with him. Now you were going to be civil with maybe even offer him a polite smile, but he seemed to have other intentions. He pulled his new girl closer to him, pressing a long kiss onto her cheek while staring right at you. He was provoking you. You scoffed looking away. Upon your eyes landing on Jungsu a light bulb went off in your head. 
“Be my boyfriend,” you told Jungsu.
“What?” Jungsu coughed. 
“Be my boyfriend. Just for like five minutes please?” you begged, seeing your ex getting closer.
“Can I ask why?” he questioned. You sighed. 
“That’s my ex over there.” You pointed discreetly. “He’s with someone else and trying to provoke me with it, so can you please be my boyfriend. So that I can show him I don’t care about him,” you quickly explained. Jungsu eyes where your ex was, seeing how he was seemingly making his way over to the pair of you.
“Ok, I’ll be your boyfriend,” he says.
“Thank you,” you thanked him. You also moved to rest your head on his shoulder. Jungsu carefully wraps his arm around your frame. 
“Didn’t expect to see you here y/n,” your ex said when he arrived in front of you and Jungsu. You lifted your head from Jungsu’s shoulder to look at him.
“I didn’t expect to see you here either,” you remarked. 
“This is Hanna, my girlfriend,” he introduced the girl on his arm and sent you a certain look.
“Nice to meet you,” you smiled at her. “This is Jungsu, my boyfriend,” you shot back, once more leaning your head on Jungsu’s shoulder. Your ex clears his throat. 
“Well we should get going. Nice seeing you again,” you ex speaks. 
“Yeah, you too,” you replied. You watched the two of them walk off. “He really became a prick didn’t he?,” you say. Jungsu laughed at your comment. 
“Yeah he seemed upset when he realized that you moved on from him.” Jungsu removes his arm from around you. He thinks that he can finally calm his racing heart. From the moment you asked him to be your boyfriend it had been hammering against his chest. He’s glad you only rested your head on his shoulder cause if it was his chest you certainly would have heard his beating heart. Jungsu has been crushing on you for quite some time now, including before you got together with your ex. He never found the courage to confess to you. He was sure that he wasn’t your type. That he was only the type of guy you wanted to be friends with. Having you in his hold with your head on his shoulder only made him long for you more. It gave him a taste of what he could have if you were actually his. 
Your heart can also now begin to calm from its rapid thumping. Having Jungsu’s arm around you affected you much more than you thought it would. You’ve had a bit of a thing for Jungsu since you met him, but never thought it was anything that serious. The way your heart pounded just now tells you otherwise. That your feelings for Jungsu were more than just a small thing. You wanted him to have his arm around you more often. You wanted to lean your head on his shoulder whenever you pleased. 
“He left so quickly after I told him you were my boyfriend,” you chuckled. “Thanks again though. I owe you one,” you told him. Jungsu remains silent for a bit. He doesn’t want to just have a taste of what it could be like to be with you. He is terrified of you rejecting him and losing your friendship, but he thinks he would regret it more if he never gives it a shot. 
“Can I keep being your boyfriend then?” His gaze shifted to his hands as he anxiously fiddled with them. Did he just ruin everything?
His question sends your heart right back to thumping against your chest. Jungsu wasn’t the type to joke about these kinds of things, but you still couldn’t believe what he just said. 
“Are you serious?” you asked. Jungsu finds the courage to lift his head and look at you. 
“I’m very serious. I’ve liked you for a while now,” he confessed. “I don’t want to be your boyfriend for only five minutes. I want to be it permanently,” he states. 
“I want that too,” you confess. Jungsu can’t believe the words that left your mouth.
“Really? I can be your boyfriend? You mean it?” he asked excitedly with bright eyes. You couldn’t help but find him adorable. 
“Yes, Jungsu. Be my boyfriend please,” you say. Jungsu pulls you into a hug. 
“I will, I’ll be your boyfriend for the rest of my life,” he declares. You hug him tighter. Jungsu wishes you would’ve ran into your ex sooner if it meant you and him finally getting together.
Taglist: @purplelady85, @odesonnets, @gingerjunhan, @chewednails, @ezlynkisses, @mon2sunjinsuver, @mxlly143
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lu-undy · 29 days
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If your asks are still open, what would you think about Splniper comforting Spy after he wakes up from a nightmare by cuddling him and making him hot cocoa?
Here it is, I hope this checks out!
It is reasonable to imagine Spy having trouble sleeping. After all that he has done, all the lives he ended - directly or indirectly -, all the secrets and hearts that he stole, after all the deceptions and lies, it is fair to say that the man had a lot to feel remorse and regret for.
So the nightmares were frequent, the sleep babbling - one could hardly call it talking given the lack of more than a noise or syllable per few words - was incessant sometimes and of course, the clenching of his jaw and his limbs was exhausting.
On the other hand, Mundy could sleep anywhere in any, possibly uncomfortable position imaginable. But sharing his nights with Spy had shown him a side of the man that very few knew about him.
At first, the nights were peaceful. But as Spy grew comfortable with his lover, Mundy gradually got exposed to more and more of these episodes of nightly restlessness.
The first time it was only a babble. It woke the Aussie up and he had smiled about it, thinking this was in fact priceless ammunition for his little teasing games with the spy. But the smile soon disappeared when he saw the frown on Spy's sleeping face and the sweat dripping from his brow.
Sniper did not know how to react, much less how to ask Spy for guidance on this. But one day, before he managed to gather the courage, Spy himself opened up about this.
"I would understand if you preferred sleeping on your own."
The sentence had been the opener to a conversation that caught Sniper so off guard, he nearly spat his coffee out.
“What? No, why're you sayin' that?"
"I know my sleep is at the other end of peaceful and I can only imagine how painful it is to share a bed with me. I also know that after a nightmare that forced me to wake up last night, you pretended to be sleeping but you saw and heard everything. No need to make this more awkward than it needs to be." Spy puffed out some smoke, sat on his end of the sofa. He was staring at the cigarette between his fingers, which Sniper now knew was a habit he had to not look whoever he was addressing in the eye.
"Spook, I-"
"No need." Spy cut him and raised a flat hand. "No need to elaborate. You can go back to your van and meet with me for breakfast here or whenever you feel like it."
“No, you idiot." That's when Spy's eyes flashed to his lover who was sat at the other end of the couch. "I don't care that you wake me up at night. But now that we're talkin' about it, I've always wanted to ask you a few things about it."
Spy waved his hand in an inviting motion, for Sniper to ask away. "You didn't used to have these… uh…”
"Episodes." Spy filled in.
"Yeah, those episodes, you didn't use to have them when we first started seein' each other. So I'm thinking that it's somethin' I do or say that makes this happen. And whatever it is, it’s really gettin’ on your nerves.”
Spy shook his head, sighing.
“Spook, please. Just tell me what it is and I’ll stop doin’ it.”
Spy chortled.
“Don’t give yourself any credit, Bushman.”
“What’s that mean?” Sniper asked.
“It means that you are not the cause of any of this. It started way before I knew you.”
“How come it didn’t happen at the beginnin’ then?”
“That is because I hardly slept at the beginning, precisely to avoid this issue. But after weeks of being sleep deprived, I couldn’t fight it anymore and I now sleep at night.” Spy took a drag of his cigarette. He was speaking coldly, which he usually did, but Sniper could tell that this was a bit colder than usual which meant that Spy was trying to hide his emotions.
The Aussie let the silence hang for a second before he found the right way to respond.
“I just wanna know how to help you.” He answered and put his now empty coffee mug on the coffee table in front of him. “I don’t want to go away from you just because you have trouble sleepin’, that’s stupid.”
Spy did not say anything.
“So d’you know what I can do to help you when you have these nightmares and things like that?” Sniper asked.
“Non.” Spy answered. “As far as I know, nothing helps.”
“Have you tried tablets to help you sleep? Maybe that can work?”
“I am not sick.” Spy replied. “This is not an illness. It is the result of my life choices.” He stood up and left the sofa. Sniper understood that it was not personal, it was not against him. It was against himself. Spy hated having a problem that a gun or a knife could not fix.
Mundy made a decision as his eyes followed Lucien going to his bathroom and locking the door, and the decision was the following: he would try different things and see what would work best, if anything did.
He started going to Medic for medical advice.
“So when did this start?”
“Can’t remember a night where I could sleep right to be honest.” Mundy lied. Obviously he slept like a log but he would never compromise his lover’s reputation and tell anyone that Spy had a problem.
“Interesting. And why come to me now? If this is something you have dealt with all your life, what pushed you to seek help now?” Medic asked, pushing his glasses up his nose.
“If you can patch gunshot wounds and broken bones within seconds with that medigun of yours then I reckon you can probably help with this too, eh?”
Medic smirked.
“But,” Sniper added. “I don’t wanna take tablets or stuff like that. I want you to tell me how I can fix it and go back to sleeping like I was when I was a kid.”
“Even more interesting.” Medic nodded to himself. “I can give you a few methods, but I can guarantee they won’t be as efficient as taking some prescription medicine.”
“That’s fine.”
“The other thing you should know is that you will need someone to do those things to you when those fits happen. I trust this is not an issue?”
Sniper slightly blushed. Of course Medic knew that he was spending his nights in Spy’s room, but this was the first time he heard it from him. He nodded.
“Yeah. Well, thanks, Doc’.” Sniper stood up and left.
The second person Sniper went to was Engie.
“So, where’s Spy? Usually you two come together on Friday nights?” The Texan asked.
It was true. To escape the ruckus of the Friday evening team celebrations, Sniper and Spy usually hid away in Engie’s garage. The beer tasted better when consumed in a quieter environment.
“D’you know what to do when someone has night terrors?” Sniper asked bluntly.
“You have night terrors?”
“Yeah.” Sniper lied. “I can’t sleep properly, I talk in my sleep. Sometimes I wake up in a sweat, and my whole body is tense.”
“Well, you’d better ask sawbones for these things. Can’t fix it with a contraption, I’m afraid.”
“So you don’t know?” Sniper asked and deep down, he was hiding a smile. He had learnt from Spy that if you wanted anything from Engie, it had to challenge his intellect; or if that failed, question it.
“From what I know, it really depends on what provokes the night terrors. I just know that for some people, it’s trauma; no easy fix for that.”
“What’s the hard fix then?” Sniper asked.
“Again, I don’t know much but here’s what I know…”
— Later —
Spy was reading in bed, his night lamp was on. It was past midnight and sleep started to fall on him gently but he could hear Sniper still in the shower. Ah, nevermind, the water just stopped.
The Frenchman distantly heard the bathroom door open. He switched his light off and put his book away before sliding down in his bed to lie down. He shut his eyes and waited to hear Sniper leave his suite.
Instead, the mattress lowered down. Spy rolled to see what was happening.
“What are you doing here?” He asked the tall, lanky man who was slipping in bed next to him.
“What does it look like? Fryin’ eggs?”
“I thought we agreed that you would sleep in your van?”
“Nah, you agreed on that on your own, I didn’t.” Mundy scooted closer to his lover and held him close.
“Mundy, you don’t have to-”
“Good night, luv’.” Mundy cut him and Lucien felt a kiss on his temple.
The Frenchman sighed and held Mundy’s hand in his.
That sense of peace vanished a few hours in the night, and Lucien started to babble and spasm. Mundy woke up and waited to see if his lover was calming down.
“Non…”
Mundy waited and listened.
“Non… Non!”
Lucien was definitely not calming down. The Aussie then applied his teammate’s advice. He rolled Lucien to make him lie on his back and lay on top of him, crushing him with his own weight.
“Nnh…”
The babbling subsided almost instantly, the spasming took longer but Mundy was patient. He grabbed some tissue from the bedside table and wiped Lucien’s sweaty brow.
“It’s alright… You ain’t alone anymore… I’m here with you…”
The spasms became less frequent, only the breathing was irregular now.
“Sssh… it’s alright.”
Mundy grabbed the bottle of water and hand towel he had brought on his bedside table and wet it before putting it on Lucien’s forehead. He immediately lay on him again afterwards.
Lucien’s breathing calmed down, and he eventually opened his eyes. The night light was on and he realised his brow was nice and cool.
“Mundy…?”
“You’re alright.”
“What is…? Wait…” Lucien gently pushed Mundy away and the Aussie obliged. “What is this doing on my forehead? And why were you sleeping on me?”
“You won’t believe me, but it worked.” The Aussie sat on his side of the bed, his back towards Lucien.
“What? What are you talking about?”
“Sit up, luv’.” When Mundy turned to face Lucien again, the Aussie had a glass of water in his hand. “Here, drink this.”
Lucien obeyed without a second thought.
“I tried some stuff to help you calm down. It worked, with a bit of time.”
Lucien stopped drinking sharp.
“What did you do? Just crush me with your body?”
“Yeah, and cool you down.” Mundy answered.
Lucien sat up straight and put the now empty glass away.
“How did you know what to do?”
“I asked Medic and Engie.”
“You did what?!”
“Relax, I told them that it was for me.” Mundy answered. “And in any case, we trust Medic with our lives, which is mad enough. Can’t hurt to ask the crazy nurse.”
Lucien sighed.
“I suppose you are right. And it worked.”
“How d’you feel?”
“Different.”
“How?”
“Usually when I wake up after an episode, I am out of breath and exhausted. But now, I feel much better, barely any sweat, I am not breathing as if I just beat a sprinting world record… I… Thank you.” He looked Mundy in the eye.
“Yeah, no worries. It wasn’t hard.” Mundy answered and Lucien yawned. “Ready to sleep again?”
“Oui, I think so.”
“Right.” Mundy switched the night light off and slid down under the sheets. Lucien did the same.
“Mundy?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you, really.”
“You’re welcome.”
The darkness made it easier for both of them to communicate, verbally and otherwise. Lucien rolled on his side and grabbed Mundy’s arm to pull him in. The Aussie found himself spooning his lover. He could not see it but Lucien rolled his eyes up in bliss before closing them. He could not get enough of the warmth, the embrace was comforting as much as it was calming for his nerves.
“Mundy?” He whispered.
“Yeah?”
“I…” Lucien cleared his throat. “May I be hugged please?”
“Course.”
With the weeks passing by, Lucien’s episodes became overall less violent. It was only on occasions that he would need to fully wake up. Most of the time, Mundy would lie on top of him and Lucien would barely wake up. The sleep talking and spasming became less frequent too. Not only that, but Lucien would ask for hugs more often in bed. And Mundy came to realise that the Frenchman, even with all his love conquests, was starved of any meaningful touch. No one held him for more than a few minutes after intercourse, and no one made him feel as safe as in Mundy’s arms.
“I owe you my peace of mind.”
“Can you do introductions with bits of context?” Mundy asked at the breakfast table.
“I could.” Lucien answered. “But I believe what I said is clear enough.”
“Makes no bloody sense to me but alright.” Mundy gave a chuckle.
“Yesterday night was the first night in more than forty years that I slept through without any stress.” Lucien said.
“I’m happy for you.” Mundy bent on his side and left a kiss on his lover’s temple before resuming the buttering of his toast.
“If there is anything I can do to repay this, please let me know, whatever it is.” Lucien answered. “Even if you think it is impossible to do it, I will make it happen.”
“Well,” The Aussie put his butter knife down. “There’s one thing I’ve really wanted but I’m not sure you or anyone can do it.”
“Please.” Lucien asked him to say whatever it was.
“Could you pass me that apricot jam over there?” Mundy smirked and Lucien rolled his eyes, nevertheless he passed him the jar.
“Mundy…”
“What? I really want that jam, y’know how much I like that on my toast, eh?”
They both chuckled and Mundy got caught off guard. Lucien himself initiated a kiss.
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yumeasmrscript · 13 days
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[ASMR script] [A4A] Whenever you're too scared to eat, we can eat together
Tags: [TW: Eating disorder] [Emetophobia] [Partner Speaker] [Anxiety] [Skipping meals] [Comfort] [One bite at a time] [You will be okay!] [Loving relationship]
Author's note: Hi everyone! First thing first: this script is written as A4A, but feel free to edit it to fit as M4F, F4M, F4F, M4M, etc. English is not my first language, you can also edit a few things here and there to make things sound less "weird" if there's the need. You are also free to edit/add/remove sfx of your choice! You are allowed to monetize, just please credit me <3
More notes you can just skip: So, this script is very specific and kinda personal. The phobia of throwing up is a nasty fear to deal with, and sometimes it can lead to serious health issues because when you're too scared of the idea of feeling sick, you stop eating as a way of avoiding the (often very very vary small, close to impossible actually) chance of throwing up. I didn't know there were so many people with this phobia, and I haven't seen many scripts related to this topic, because often the not-eating problem is related other form of anxiety/issues. So, I decided to make one related to this phobia, and hopefully it will help those who could have struggled eating for this very reason! Remember you are not alone in this, and that if it feels too much to handle, you can seek help through therapy (and take it from me, it can be better. It will get better!)
Summary (for listener): Your loved one comes home after work and wants to take you out for dinner but you're not that hungry, plus you have some leftovers. The problem is: they saw you skipping breakfast and the same leftovers were supposed to be your lunch. They realize now you have been skipping meals, so you tell them about your phobia of throwing up and, as a consequence, your fear of eating.
[Action/things happening] *Moods* Emphasis on a specific word
_________________________
[Door opening and closing]
Honey, I'm home! What a day... Today it was much more chaotic than usual there.
[Removing coat]
Hi there sweetie, let me give you a hug [pause] ...and some kisses [Kisses here] What were you watching?
Just the boring news? Ooh, I see, you were waiting for a show to start. Mind if I sit next to you, so we can get bored at the news together, while we wait for it? [another Kiss]
[Sitting on the couch]
*Relaxed* Aaah, bless whoever invented the couch… [Kisses, caresses] ...It feels so weird coming home and finding you waiting for me, you know? In a good way, of course. Knowing you will be here when I return, it's fuel to get through the day. It's not even two weeks since we moved in together, but I feel like I already got addicted to this feeling [chuckle]. I can’t help but look forward to the moment we can just relax and cuddle.
[Chuckle] You too? ...Aww, yes, that's the smile that keeps me going. How was your day, sweetheart?
Tough day at work for you too huh?
*Excited* Oooh, but you have some gossip? I can't wait to hear all about it! You know I’m always in for the tea. Hey, you know what? Since we're both coming from a draining working day, why don't we just go somewhere nice for dinner? 'Cause... now that I think about it, we still didn't get the chance to go out for dinner since we moved in together. And even before, it feels like ages since last time! I can't even remember when it was. So… yeah, what do you think? Dinner's on me, of course!
*Slightly disappointed* Hm? Why not? I mean, it's not like we have to, but... not having to cook and clean afterwards sounds like a good deal to me when we're both tired, don’t you think?
*Gentle* You're too tired from work to go out? Well... I guess, we can stay at home for tonight, then. Hmm, what about just ordering delivery? I mean, same thing but we can chill here, watching something that’s, hopefully, not the news... cuddling a little bit, relax... how does it sound, honey?
*Confused*You're... not that hungry? Uhm, yes, I can order something for myself but... what if you get hungry later?
*Lighting up the mood* Hey, don't expect me to give you half of mine if you change your mind! You know that you are my favorite person and I love you more than anyone, but food is… well, food. [Laugh] I’m joking, I'm joking. Kind of. [Chuckle] In all honesty though, I wouldn't mind sharing, but... listen, why don't you just order something anyway? So that if you get hungry later you still have something to eat, and if you don't... you have something for tomorrow's lunch anyway.
*Confused* Huh? What do you mean there's no need?
The... leftovers? Wait a moment, we still have leftovers from yesterday’s dinner? I thought… I thought you had it for lunch?
You didn't? So... you ate something else at work?
*Mockingly* Oooh, wait, I know what happened. Let me guess: you forgot to bring them with you and you had to buy a crappy and expensive sandwich at your workplace, didn't you? [Chuckle] That would clearly explain everything.
*Confused again* No? What did you get then? I didn't know there were other options to sandwiches there...
Okay,"Something", but what exactly?
*Slightly concerned and confused* Hey, what's wrong? What's with that expression? Is there something botheri-
Huh? Water? You mean... you want to drink water now, or...
Oh, you had... water... at work? For lunch?! I mean... wait, wait a moment, let me get this straight:
Yesterday evening you weren't hungry because you told me you had "something" at work before coming home, and I assumed it was one of those crappy, sad, sandwiches, so you skipped dinner because of that. This morning you said you only wanted your herbal tea. At lunch you had "water" and now you want to skip dinner too?
*Worried* Just... just be honest with me. When exactly was the last time you actually ate something? Like, a meal?
*Assertive* No, no, look at me. And Water doesn't count. Tea doesn't either. When was it?
*More worried* What- what do you mean you don't remember?! Okay, okay, let's make it easier: when was the last time you ate anything? A cookie? Fruit? A… dunno, protein bar?
*Frustrated, but trying to be calm* No, I'm not- of course I'm not angry, I'm just worried! As far as I know, the last time I actually saw you eat something was three days ago when you had half of an apple for breakfast! I... I was sure you were eating at your workplace most of the time, so I didn't really think much about it, but... oh goodness, please, tell me you had something since then. Anything really. Tell me you're not starving right now.
*Concerned, but more calm* Okay, so... yesterday, at lunch time, you ate kinda two spoons of peanuts, more or less. And... is that it? Nothing else?
*More gentle* No, don't apologize! I'm... not angry, really. I just... don't understand. Are you feeling under the weather or something and I didn't realize it? Or, I don't know, there's something worrying you to the point you don't feel like eating?
Whatever the reason is, why didn't you tell me? You know I'm here for you, just like you have always been here for me when I needed it. *Sweet* You have always supported me whenever I felt sad, angry, worried... You know that we are a team, right? So, please honey, tell me what's wrong.
*Frustrated again, less gentle* No, it's not "fine"! Not eating anything aside from a few grams of peanuts one day, half of an apple another one, it's not "fine" at all! I... for goodness sake, I don't want to be inappropriate but... how much weight did you lose?
It's not like I didn’t notice you felt… thinner whenever I hugged you, but... I just didn't think it was that serious, and I didn’t want to be intrusive. I didn't think you were skipping meals and avoiding food almost every day, I... I just...
*Sad* Sigh, I swear I'm not angry honey, really, I'm only really worried. I… don’t want anything bad to happen to you, I care so much about you! Please, just… tell me why, let me understand.
You are... scared? Eating gives you anxiety? But... why? Is it for your body? *Still worried, but more gentle and reassuring* Because I assure you that there's nothing wrong with your body. You are the most wonderful and attractive person I know, and I love everything about you, really. Your mind, your soul, and your body too. And I don’t care how and if your body changes, I’ll still love you for who you are.
...Okay, so it's not for that. Then... what is it? Hey, look at me. You can talk to me about anything.
*Frustrated/concerned* No, it's not dumb! No reason is a dumb reason if it makes you starve sweetie. I'm not here to judge, I just want to understand better.
So...You are afraid to... throw up? Wait, but... why would you throw up? You are healthy, the food you eat is good too, there's no stomach bug around… I don’t understand, and--
Oh, I’m sorry, just… Hey, ssh, don't cry, it's okay... I didn't know you had this kind of fear... [kiss] and I didn't know it was tormenting you this much. I’m so sorry honey…
*Comforting* Yes, I bet it’s frustrating… you’re actually really hungry, huh? But you’re too scared to eat because of the idea that could get you sick.
It... does explain a few things though. Like the fact that you avoid alcohol, or you refuse to eat anything beyond their expiration date even though it still tastes good. Or also that time when you canceled a meeting with your friend after you discovered they had a stomach bug. Sigh, I'm really sorry for being so blind, I'm connecting the dots just now. I just... wish you had told me sooner. Come here, let me hug you. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable. I told you already: we are a team. If you struggle with something, I’ll struggle with you until we find a way to overcome it, together. All right?
Good, honey. [Kiss]
So... how do you usually deal with it?
Okay, so... you only eat as little as possible when you feel too hungry to resist? Well... yes, in some way, the fact that your stomach is empty could be some sort of reassurance for you when you are afraid of throwing up. But you do realize you can't go on like this, right? You're losing weight, and it's not going to stop if you keep eating like this. Or rather, “non-eating” like this.
*Relieved* Sigh, I’m glad it’s not always like this, and this is just the worse it can get. In fact, now that I think about it, when we started dating I don’t remember you avoiding eating this much. I mean, yes, we usually ate at home and when we ate outside you always got something light.
It was more problematic before meeting me? I’m happy to know that you were able to deal with it in the past, at least for a while. So… is it just a relapse? Or maybe what you tried before wasn’t enough?
I see… Okay, so, hear me out. You already did it once anyway, and... I’m sure it’s hard. Because, when you are scared of… I don’t know, a dog maybe? Or a spider? You can run away, and the problem ends there. But… [sad chuckle] you’re right, you can’t run away from you stomach. It’s always there and… you have to learn to live with it.
Oh, honey, I figured. I’m sure you love food, and it’s frustrating for you too having to give up what you love because of your phobia. I’m sure you’re telling the truth, because when we talk about your favorite food, I can see the light in your eyes, but it… vanishes after a few seconds, because you probably think something like “I won’t be able to eat it anyway”. It is difficult, but, the good news is… you can do this. You can eat, and 99,99% of the time you will be more than fine. Look at me: I don’t even remember the last time I felt sick. And what about you? You told me the last time you threw up was years ago. The chance of throwing up are close to zero when you don’t have any health issues and, trust me, if you had any serious health issues, you probably would have felt sick even without eating. So...
*Calm* Okay, First thing first, take a deep breath with me, so you can relax.
[Deep breath]
*Gentle* Good, now, let’s wipe those tears away… And… let’s do this: I’ll find a way to eat the leftovers tomorrow for lunch myself. I’m sure they’ll still be good. Tonight we’re getting a delivery of your favorite food instead, and...
Hey, honey, don’t say “no” right away. Try to change your thinking from “I can’t eat it” to “I am able to eat it. I can eat it. And I enjoy eating, because it’s my favorite food”. Remember that your body knows what it needs to be done, and when you give fuel to your body, there’s a very, very little chance that your body will send it back. Anxiety doesn’t help the hunger, I know, but trust me: you will be okay. Would I ever lie to you?
No, exactly. So: we’re getting a delivery of your favorite food...
Okay, you’re nodding now, good. Then, you just take one bite.
Yes, just one. And I’ll get just one bite too.
Then, we wait let’s say… 60 seconds. In the meantime you can take deep breaths, drink a sip of water, or just… watch tv with me. Then, we take another bite. Slowly, chewing as much as possible, and then another pause. You can also hold my hand during all of this whenever you feel the anxiety coming, ‘cause I’ll be with you for each bite.
We’ll keep eating just one bite at a time, until you feel relaxed enough to eat a little bit on your own, or until you feel satisfied.
And, when we’re done, we can drink something warm that will help your digestion. Not that it really needs any help, because your body can do anything on its own, but it will be helpful for your brain. Because knowing it will help your digestion, it will make you relax a little bit. And, if you relax too, that will truly help even more. Okay? Do you want to try this with me? I won’t force you eat anything you don’t want, and we’ll stop when you will say so. I’m sure you will do your best, because that’s one of the many reasons why I admire you.
*Relieved* Good. [Kiss]
Mh-mh, I’m glad you will talk to your doctor about it. Remember that you are not alone in this, and if you need help of any kind when you need to eat, I’ll be here for you. I’m… just glad you told me before it was too late. [Kiss] I just want you to feel calm and serene whenever and whatever you eat. If you already found a way to do it in the past, I’m sure you will do it again.
And when you least expect it, I’m sure you will find the joy in eating once again. Until then… I’ll be with you, for each step of the way.
You’re welcome, sweetheart… [Kiss] I love you too.
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frogtanii · 3 years
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warm.
it’s too warm, was your first waking thought as you sluggishly waded through the mound of blankets that encompassed you to get a breath of fresh air (you assumed bokuto and kuroo were the culprits for your warm and fuzzy hellhole). your eyes first fell on the television playing the credits to the second or third pirates of the caribbean movie on mute, the remote haphazardly thrown somewhere to your left as though the person who did so left in a hurry.
speaking of people, there was no one left in the room as you slowly joined the land of the living. a part of you suspected everyone had gone to bed but atsumu or akaashi would’ve woken you up if that had been the case.
belatedly, you recognized voices coming from the front door and your still sleep-addled brain lit up. oh! you thought. food must be here! untangling yourself from the blankets proved to be an exhausting feat because by the time you were done, your body was covered in a sheen of sweat underneath oikawa’s sweats and sakusa’s hoodie.
ugh, gross.
you began to make your way towards the door, the blood rushing through your head preventing you from hearing the details of conversation but knowing atsumu, he was just haggling for a lower price even though you told him repeatedly, that isn’t how pizza places work tsum.
as you drew nearer to the commotion, you started to pick up on the heavy tension in the air, leaving you extremely uncomfortable. you had no idea what the cause of it was but you did know it was making most of the boys upset, who, by the way, hadn’t noticed you creeping around just yet.
a feminine voice rang out from outside the doorway and though you were still attempting to gain your hearing, the sound sent chills down your spine. it sounded saccharine, sweet, familiar, and oh so evil.
even with a head full of cotton, you figured now wouldn’t be the best time to reveal yourself, what with the clear discomfort permeating the atmosphere, but your big fat mouth apparently had other plans.
“‘tsum, just let the poor pizza lady go,” you muttered, the beginnings of a headache making itself known at the back of your skull. you were a little too caught up with the dwarf banging at your head with a sledgehammer to notice the shock that everyone in the room turned to look at you with.
a gentle hand grasped at your forearm, whispering something into your ear before attempting to pull you back to the living room, but that same familiar voice from the door kept you planted where you stood.
“oh, the princess finally makes herself known,” meiko sneered, her face finally coming into focus, striking you with pang of fear straight through your heart. “funny, i thought i left you speechless the last time we... ‘talked’.”
“ya shut yer fuckin mouth,” atsumu lunged at her but was stopped by sakusa’s arm around his waist, successfully holding him in place. meiko just giggled, taking a step into the house, her heels clicking as she glided across the hardwood floors.
in the back of your head, you noted that meiko looked unusually beautiful, her makeup flawlessly done and her outfit complementing it perfectly, almost reminiscent of how she used to be before... well, just “before”.
you watched the boys unconsciously angle themselves as a protective wall around you, the person holding your arm (who you now realized was koushi) pulling you in tighter until your back was resting against his chest.
a part of you couldn’t help but feel a little suffocated but the other, more self preserving, bit felt irrationally safe and protected around these boys. it was nice... or it would’ve been if meiko wasn’t taking herself on a tour around the house as though she hadn’t been living there for almost the past year.
“you all can tone down on the guard dog act. i’m not here to fight,” she said as she pretended to wipe dust off the island. “you’re not?” bokuto’s skeptical voice rose up from behind you, one of his hands finding yours underneath the massive sleeves of your (sakusa’s) hoodie.
meiko shook her head with an empty smile, her perfectly painted red lips stretching unnaturally wide. “no, of course not! i’ve just come here to collect.”
the boys collectively tensed around you, akaashi whispering for kenma to go find yachi and quickly. as he slipped away, you made eye contact with sakusa who gave you an imperceptible nod that you assumed meant one thing — keep her talking.
“collect what?” you asked, your voice coming out weaker than you wanted, but you hoped she didn’t notice. she cocked her head as her eyes snapped to you as if she’d forgotten you were there, but judging by her growing smirk, you knew that wasn’t the case.
“my boys of course!” meiko clapped gleefully, clicking her way over toward kuroo to run her hand over his bicep, laughing when he jolted away from her touch. “they’ve always been mine, you know that don’t you?”
it felt like a cold bucket of water had been dropped over your head. you felt frozen again, the same feeling of dread creeping up your spine as it did when meiko attacked you. in turn, you barely noticed kenma’s return who whispered something to sakusa — an action that didn’t go unnoticed by meiko.
“what’re my boys talking about? are you plotting against me?” she pouted, scooting closer to the pair. kenma visibly paled and moved to hide himself behind sakusa’s broad shoulders. “we aren’t doing anything, meiko.”
wrong answer.
“oh, we both know that isn’t the case kiyoomi. i’m not a fucking idiot.” meiko’s voice filled with venom before moving even closer still. you felt your heart beating rapidly in your chest, your hand gripping bokuto’s even tighter.
what if she brought some kind of weapon to the house? what if she hurt you? what if she hurt them?
before you could think, you were standing in front of the group, the boys calling out your name as meiko’s face lit up. “so the precious little princess wants to take a stand! let me have it then, huh? let me see what all the craze is about!”
despite the fear thudding in your chest, you stood tall, glaring at her with your head held high. “the boys are not yours, meiko,” you declared, her mouth instantly opening in protest but you refused to let her speak.
“they aren’t possessions or objects you can own and treat like shit. they are people, real living, breathing people and they aren’t mine either. they have full reign to do what they want, when they want, to make their own choices and decisions. and you know what? they didn’t choose you or me. they chose themselves and their happiness over any bullshit you or i could try and sell them. so please, for the love of god, get your shit together, put it in a box and take it to fucking therapy.”
by the end of your impromptu speech, your chest was heaving but you felt good. really good. adrenaline was rushing through your veins and you felt powerful. out the corner of your eye, you noticed osamu and daichi standing at the bottom of the stairs with something akin to awe on their faces.
yeah bitches. take it all in.
unfortunately, while you were basking in the feeling of badassery, you completely missed meiko’s eyes lighting up with pure, unadulterated,
rage.
you faintly heard someone call your name before you were taken to the ground by meiko leaping at you like an animal. the two of you scrambled about on the hardwood, her hands yanking at your clothes and leaving scratches on your skin but you were sure as hell giving her a run for her money.
you finally managed to get on top of her, pinning her arms to the ground but that wasn’t before you gained a hard elbow to the side and a bruise to your face. meiko thrashed and shook in your hold but you were not wavering, trying to keep her entirely still for...
well, for what exactly?
almost as though they were on cue, you heard the sound of police sirens wailing in the distance, growing louder as they drew closer to the house. underneath you, meiko’s eyes widened before she began fighting even harder than she’d done before, her erratic movements making it much more difficult to keep your hold on her.
luckily, you had extremely muscular men at your disposal, one of which (osamu — even though he was a dick, he was still incredibly muscular dick) held down meiko’s arms as the lapd stormed the building.
the police officers easily retracted meiko from your arms and cuffed her, taking her to the back of the cop car, despite her loud and insistent threats on you and everyone you love.
very disney villain-esque.
a kind looking officer helped you to your feet and walked you out to the porch where he began to ask you and the boys a few questions. you answered them honestly and you were genuinely proud of how well you were handling the whole situation when—
“bubs, you’re shaking.” sure enough, when you looked down at your hands, you were twitching uncontrollably, the reality of the events that just occurred finally sinking in.
you were just attacked. again.
you and your friends were threatened.
meiko was sitting in the back of a fucking cop car.
“what the fuck,” you whispered, eyes staring unblinking at your palms. the same officer mentioned something about shock, prompting all the boys to gather around you; atsumu pulled you in between him and sakusa, wrapping his arm around your shoulders, kenma and bokuto took hold of your quivering hands, sugawara and oikawa sat off to the side watching you with blatant concern, and kuroo and akaashi spoke to the officer in hushed tones.
the man nodded and shook their hands before shooting you a pitying smile and heading back to the car where meiko was waiting.
“it’s over angel, ‘s over,” atsumu muttered into your hair, pressing kisses to your forehead in between each phrase. you leaned into his touch but you refused to take your eyes off meiko who was watching the whole scene from the backseat, her eyes wide with anger, hurt, and confusion.
you didn’t bother dwelling on it, instead focusing on evening out your breathing and looking at the car drive over the horizon. you heard yachi’s soft voice calling everyone inside, atsumu lifting you up to your feet and walking with you, never once taking his hands off of you.
still, his words echoed in your head, even as yachi spoke of the end of the hyper house, even as the boys brought you to your room, and even as they all automatically cuddled around you in an attempt to get you to sleep.
it’s over. it’s all finally over.
you couldn’t keep the grin off your face if you tried.
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℗ poker face
it’s over
series masterlist
(●’◡’●)ノ
an - OK THE TITLE IS MISLEADING THE STORY IS NOT OVER YET SKENSM (there are 2 more official story chapters before all the endings :3) also m not the biggest fan of this chapter?? so i’d love to hear what y’all think <33 don’t forget to feed me!!
taglist - if your name is in bold, i cannot tag you
@boosyboo9206 • @geektastic84 • @elianetsantana • @trashy-simp • @infinitebells • @6mattsun9 • @suhkusa • @katsulovee • @kotarosbabygirl • @fucktheworlddude • @insomniacwreck • @calumsfringe • @saltylettuce • @chai-blu • @al3x1ss • @hawksyoongi • @jooleuuh • @loubells • @kissungjae • @liberhoe • @tetsurocore • @animeoverdosee • @duhsies • @saiKishaircLip • @afire24 • @premiyagi • @kit-kat428 • @doctorspencereid • @daphnxy • @kyomihann • @maer-333 • @sinoflust19 • @peteunderoos • @peachiikichu • @iidanotlida • @yongboxerrr • @kac-chowsballs • @tanakaslastbraincell • @memorableminds • @risjime • @starry-magicshop • @sugavwara • @smuttyanimeslut • @kiwibirbs-library • @haijkk • @airybnb • @crybabygumi • @iwaisa • @decaffinatedtealover • @notameera • @kawaii-angelanne • @rintarovibes • @urlocalsimp • @keiarma • @shrimpypenis
the rest of the tags will be in the replies!!
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Gif credit @discoelitist.
Requested by @mypridefulsoul27. Hope you like it. Thanks for the request.
Taglist: @nocturnalherb16. @jesseswartzwelder. @mypridefulsoul27.
"So what are these pills called again"? Antonio asked about this new drug on the street. It already had forty overdoses under its belt and growing.
"Pez". You replied, handing him a sample of the product that you got off a dead guy.
"Like the pez candy"?
"Yeah, it even comes with it's own pez dispenser and everything. Makes it popular with the kids". You tell him as you went to put the last two overdoses on the board. They were thirteen and sixteen that had a bright future before them.
"That's Eva's and Diegos age". Antonio sighed.
"From what we know, the dealer is a strip club owner named Marco Stewart. He has connections to strip clubs, porn studios and apparently schools as well. He has a record longer than my arm. Mostly drug charges and a few DUI's, assault with a deadly weapon and a breaking and entering". You tell Antonio and the others as they started to come in.
"A model citizen". Jay chuckled.
"Yeah, his club has been shut down for redecorating and looking for new talent. So if it's alright with Voight. I was thinking I could go apply and someone else". You looked at Voight who was noddling his in approval.
"I'll go. I can go be a bartender or something". Antonio volunteered.
"They're looking for dancers and a bouncer". You tell Antonio. He lifted a eyebrow.
"Alright set it up. You sure you're cool with this, Y/N"? Voight asked.
"Yeah. I want this guy off the streets. Parents will sleep better at night". You smiled and went to get your coat.
"A stripper? Of all undercover missions I have to miss is, Y/N being a stripper. That hurts". Adam held his chest dramatically.
"Eat your heart out". You laughed as you walked past him. Antonio snickered as he followed.
Adam playfully dropped on his desk dead. Kevin and the other laughed. You were taking this serious.
"So what's your name"? Marco Stewart asked, looking you up and down. A toothpick sticking from his mouth.
"Heaven. I'm a little piece of Heaven". You batted your eyes and flirted with him.
"More like a big piece of Heaven". Marco chuckled, his eyes went to your breast.
"Oh you're so funny". You playfully hit his arm.
"You're hired. So what about your boyfriend"? Marco watched Antonio out of the corner of his eye. Antonio was looking at the stage in the club.
"His names Johnny. Just got out of the pen. Had five years but did three for good behavior". You smiled.
"What was he in for"?
"Possession of a controlled substance". Antonio turned to talk to Marco. "That's what the asshole cop said once he planted it on me". Antonio looked between you and Marco than laughed. Marco laughed as well.
"You use to deal"? Marco asked intrigued.
"Yeah back in Brooklyn. I dealed for nine years and nothing but they catch me picking up a ounce of weed for my moms and I'm in prison before I can bat my eyes. It was bullshit". Antonio put on a thick Brooklyn accent.
"Alright. You're hired too. Both you be here Friday night, six o'clock. I got something for you two do before you go on".
"Wow, thanks. I cant wait to show you my moves. I promise it'll be amazing". You gushed, hugging Antonio and planting a kiss to his cheek. "We got the job, baby".
"Let's go home and celebrate". Antonio growled and picked you up carrying you out of the club.
Antonio put you down and headed to the car. "That was easy".
"Yeah. Now we have to figure out what he wants us to do". You say as you and Antonio drove to the station.
"Heaven? You chose Heaven as a stage name"? Adam scoffed.
"Yes, I'm a little piece of Heaven". You seductively purred.
"Yes, yes, you are". Adam smiled like a fool. Antonio rolled his eyes.
"Do you think he wants us selling drugs for him"? Antonio asked.
"Maybe. We could get a few undercovers in there as customers. Give us a better chance at catching him with the drugs". You suggested.
"We can do that. But we dont want to spook him. Since theres two new faces in the club and then add more. He'll know somethings up". Voight replied.
"Yeah. You're right. We go in tomorrow at six".
"Alright. Make sure you two are ready and prepared for this. I dont want it going bad and someone getting hurt. No dealer will go down nicely". Voight reassured.
"Yes, sir". You say. Antonio and you had a rough night sleeping. Your minds raced.  Tomorrow was a big job, a lot was depending on you two. You couldn't screw it up.
"My little piece of Heaven". Marco greeted you as you came into the club his arms open for a hug.
"Good even, sir". You purred in his ear.
"Oh, sir. I like that". Marco laughed. "Come on, I got something for you guys". He waved you and Antonio into the back room.
"So tonight is going to be big. Huge! We have Heaven here making her debut and everyones coming. Everyone. So I need you two to be selling some of our delicious product. It taste just like candy". Marco chuckled as he opened a box that had about five hundred pills inside. Enough to kill a whole school of kids.
"I've heard about this drug. It's supposed to make sex even more amazing". You wrapped your arms around Antonio's waist and started kissing his neck. Antonio went along and grabbed your face deepening the kiss to your lips.
"Fuck yes"! Marco cheered.
Antonio pulled away panting, you licked your lips. This was the first time you two let your sexual tension free on each other. It was there but you two kept it bottled up.
"I like you two. This is going to be a great partnership". Marco grinned.
Around seven, people started arriving. Each person got a pez and a pat down from Johnny the bouncer. Antonio was taking his job seriously. You were going around getting drinks for the customers until you were called to the stage.
"Baby, why dont you take this fifty and we go back to the back and play"? A creepy older guy slapped your ass as you sat his drink down on the table.
"No thanks". You smiled and went on your way. You had to breath cause if you didnt you would have taken the drink tray and popped him up side the head with it.
"Heaven, baby. It's almost time". Marco pointed to his wrist and you nodded. You went back to the dressing room and changed into a diamond bralette that didnt hide anything and a pair of black cut up booty shorts. It wasnt your taste but Marco wanted you to wear it. You splashed on some glitter and perfume before you heard your song come on.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a new comer here that has blessed us with her beauty. Please give it up for a little piece of Heaven". Marco introduced you to the cheering crowd. You walked on stage and put your hand on his shoulder.
"We also have a special guest to share the stage with her, our own bouncer Johnny Boy". Marco put the spot light on Antonio which caught both you and him off guard. You didnt know his was in your performance.
Marco waved Johnny on stage, Antonio gulped and went up. Marco had a chair for Antonio to sit in as you danced.
"Show em what you got baby doll". Marco slapped your ass.
You smiled at Antonio, he looked nervous. The combination of spot light, the men sitting around watching and the part where he liked you this was a bit to much for him to stand.
The music was flowing through your veins. You swayed your hips to the music in between Antonio's legs. Your hands on his knees, your ass on his lap. Antonio licked his lips, he got the courage to put his hands on your hips and guide you along.
You smirked, rolling your hips. This was all work but you could throw in some play as well. The crowd of cheering men disappeared when you turned around and straddled Antonio's lap. Your hand wrapped around Antonio's neck as you grinded on him. He looked into your eyes as he helped you move your body.
Your eyes wondered over his face, his eyes sparked in the lights, he had a slight smirk on his face and you could see Marco deal out a baggy of Pez.
"Now". You said and Voight and the team busted in. You got off of Antonio and went after Marco, Antonio followed your lead.
Marco didnt run, he had his hands up and ready for cuffs.
"For a dealer, you went easily". You told Marco as you handed him off to Jay.
"I'm just the bottom of the food chain, baby. I'll get a slap on the wrist". Marco laughed as he was taken away.
"Great job, you two". Voight nodded and walked away.
"You look absolutely beautiful". Adam smiled like a bigger fool as he came over. You looked down and covered yourself up.
"I'm going to go change". You hurried to the back.
Antonio slapped Adam on the back of his head. "Watch it". He pointed at Adam. Adam stood there confused. 
You got dressed quickly and headed out front. Suddenly all eyes were on you.
"What"? You looked down at your outfit. You had tight red pants on with a red jacket and a black see through corset. You may have taken it from Marcos wardrobe.
"You look good, Y/L/N". Jay chuckled along with Adam and Kevin.
"Thank you". You giggled.
Antonio came by your side. "You do. You look really good. Um, you wanna get coffee"? Antonio rubbed the back of his neck.
"Are you asking me on a date"?
"A coffee date".
"Oh". You were kinda sad that that was it.
"Just for now. I'm kinda tired so coffee will hold you over until Friday night". Antonio sent you a wink.
"Yeah. I'd like that".
"Great". Antonio held out his arm for you and you wrapped yours around his. "Where did you learn to dance like that"?
You laughed. "Believe it or not there was a time I wasnt a detective. But that's for another time".
Antonio smirked as he lead you to his car and you were off on your first date.
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ahundredtimesover · 3 years
Text
Hold Me Close | JJK
Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader, ex Namjoon x Reader (ft. brother Jimin)
Genre/Tags: brother’s best friends au; (dash of) angst, fluff (sort of), smut
Warnings: foul language, feelings of insecurity, minor accident caused by inebriation, getting drunk, sexual content (oral, unprotected sex but be safe please!), JK has a hip tattoo and at some point has grey hair (18+)
Word count: 22k
Summary:  When Jimin hits a crisis, he enlists the help of his older sister - you - and his best friend, Jungkook, to put the pieces back again. That proves to be difficult when 1) Jimin’s a brat and a certified pain in the ass, and 2) Jungkook has grown and suddenly, you can’t keep your eyes off him.
A/N: I wanted to write something fun for a change and saw @ladyartemesia‘s brother’s best friend list and thought it would be a nice trope to explore because if there would be an ideal bratty younger brother, it would be Jimin. This was sooo much fun to write but also reminded me again of why I love my baby sister more than anyone in this world. Hope you all enjoy! 
##
Three - the number of missed calls you probably now have just in the last 5 minutes, the vibrations piercing through your pocket and onto your thigh. It might be important, but so is keeping your attention on the department Director to your right, who is complimenting the man to your left, over a proposal that you spent weeks working on. 
You force a smile because in front of your entire department isn’t really the time and place to refute and complain. It doesn’t help that Chul accepts the credit because anything to get ahead, right? 
Just another reason why you dislike this job. Perhaps your boss telling you that you’re too emotional or too soft to be in this industry has gotten to you, but then again, there’s not a bone in you that’s ambitious and competition-craved, unlike your parents. But you try, at least. It’s the least you can do for something that’s expected of their eldest child.
The Director flips a page and turns to you. “Glad you could contribute to this, Ms. Park.” 
He did assign it to you but you suppose your name just flew off his head, but you remind him anyway. 
“Thank you for the opportunity to work on it, Mr. Yoon. I’m truly learning a lot,” you fake a smile and wish for this to end.
Soon enough it does and you bow towards the managers present, one of them giving you the compliment you needed to hear, and excuse yourself before another call comes in. 
Best brother ever, the screen announces, and you curse yourself for still not changing his contact name and for having an easy-enough password to guess. 
“I swear to god, Jimin, this better be an emergency,” you cuss to the person on the other end, already boiling at the thought of him possibly calling to ask how to fix a broken toilet or what kind of oil he’s supposed to buy for frying because he’d done both too many times for you to count.
“___!” The sound of a relieved huff is what greets you, the voice familiar.
“Jungkook?”
“Yeah, hi,” he says. “Uh, we’re at the hospital.”
Your eyes widen and you scold yourself for missing the calls, but then again, you wouldn’t have known because Jimin’s wolf cries precede this moment of an actual emergency. 
“What? Why! Is my brother okay?” You cry out, hands already working on collecting your files and feet rushing towards your desk to pack up.
“Yeah,” Jungkook affirms. “He’s fine. He just—“
“I AM NOT FINE!” You hear your brother shriek in the background, sound a little soft due to distance but you don’t miss the farcical tone of his statement.
“Dude, it’s just a sprained ankle. You’ll live,” Jungkook tells him calmly, away from the phone.
You sigh in relief because Jungkook is definitely the person to believe in times like this.
“From 1 to Jimin, how dramatic is he?” You ask.
“Jimin. Times two.”
“Damn, okay. That actually seems worse than the injury itself huh?” 
Jungkook laughs in agreement. 
“I’m just packing. I’ll go to you guys right after.”
“Alright. General Hospital, emergency room. Just follow the tone of the weeping man-child.”
“I feel so empty. What am I gonna do with my life now!” You hear in the background.
You laugh at your brother’s antics because you’ve heard that exact line not long ago after his building owner told him again that he can’t have a pet in the apartment. But who knows with Jimin this time around?
“Got it. See you in a bit,” you say, then head out to hail a cab.
**
You arrive in the emergency room and follow the sound of the weeping man-child and true enough, you see your baby brother lying on the bed with his right leg nestled on pillows, ice taped on the swollen ankle.
You rush to his side and assess if there’s any other part that’s being treated. “What the hell happened to you?” You worriedly ask. “Is this because of work? God, Jimin. I told you that company overworks you! You don’t even get enough rest.”
Behind you, you could hear muffled laughter, and paired with your brother’s sheepish smile, you could already tell he got it over something silly. He’s avoiding your gaze, causing your worry to turn to frustration. 
You cross your arms and you give him a stern look. “Park Jimin, look at me and tell me what happened.”
He plays with the hem of the blanket draped over him and with a sickly sweet smile, the one he uses on you to get himself out of trouble, he says, “I may have drank and perhaps had my foot stuck in a gutter and I may also have moved about when Jungkook told me to stay still and well…” Arms laid out before him as if in presentation, “here I am!” 
He’s beaming, as if it’s something to be proud of. You know it’s his tactic but still, your brother’s ability to go from one reaction to another astounds you.
You turn to Jungkook for confirmation and he nods at the accuracy and absurdity of the situation, causing a worried feeling in the pit of your stomach because how the hell are you going to explain this to your parents? 
“You forgot the part about you screaming that you hate men and you don’t want to love anymore,” Jungkook adds. It’s classic Jimin that it actually makes you laugh. 
You, as his older sister and Jungkook, as his best friend of 15 years, should be used to this already but your brother is plucked from a classic romcom as the hot mess character and that carries with it amusement and predictability.
You're about to ask for an elaboration to put more context in the scene that’s playing in your head of a crying Jimin flailing his arms and a bemused but laughing Jungkook trying to shut him up, when the doctor comes in. 
She checks the clipboard then on Jimin. 
“Thankfully, there’s nothing broken,” she says, jotting down on a pad. She starts instructing how to properly wrap the ankle, prompting Jungkook to stand next to you and Jimin to nip at his fingernails because the brat won’t even pay attention to how to care for his own injured foot. 
After handing you the prescription, the doctor tells Jimin, “We’ll just wrap you up with a cast and give you the crutches then you can head home.”
“So I’m not staying?” He asks.
“No need,” the doctor clarifies. “It’s just sprained but it will take several weeks to properly heal and it will be sore for a while,” she states, then calls a nurse and instructs him to prepare the supplies. 
“You said you’re a dance instructor? The injury was aggravated by previous mild sprains so I require complete rest. You absolutely cannot move. Just stay in bed and follow the instructions I’ve written down.”
You and Jungkook release a sigh of relief, thankful that it’s nothing serious, the concern over what prompted his outburst temporarily at the back of your mind, until Jimin speaks up.
“But, something else feels broken.”
“What is it?” The doctor asks, suddenly worried and checks the board for anything she might’ve missed.
“My heart.”
“Yah!” You smack Jimin’s arm in embarrassment, which he returns with a smack on yours, a common sight for you both and Jungkook who’s bared witness to the violence you and your brother inflicted upon each other growing up.
The doctor rolls her eyes. “She’ll come back,” she says, then heads towards the door.
Jimin scrunches his nose in annoyance. “She’s a he, by the way!” He shouts, causing the others present to turn to him, as if such a situation is scandalous. 
“Do… you have a boyfriend I don’t know about?” You nervously ask. 
While your 3-year gap sibling relationship is rooted in violence that’s caused bruises, buckets of tears, timeouts, and your parents almost giving up on making you two get along at many points of your lives, you and Jimin have somehow grown up and have found the right balance of telling each other important things while also staying out of each other’s business. 
The “growing up” only happened midway through his college life, when he realized that even with his best friend next to him, you were still his lifeline in the big city of Seoul and the only other reminder of home. 
Because even with him knowing what it takes to make it in the competitive entertainment industry as a choreographer, in his heart, he’s still the younger child who’s used to being taken care of. That meant regularly demanding your presence in his dorm when he was still studying and then crashing your place when he’d started working. For food, mostly. The ranting about things just came naturally after.
“It’s Tae,” he shyly reveals, meeting your eyes for the first time and suddenly, he’s your little brother again, the one whose snacks you used to prepare or whose wounds you used to treat when your parents weren’t home or were too tired from work.
“Your roommate?”
“Yeah. He left today because he got this photography gig where he gets to travel the world.”
“I didn’t know you had a thing,” you say.
“We didn’t,” he huffs out in frustration. “I didn’t know I liked him until he said he booked a one-way ticket and didn’t know when he'd be coming back. And he was so excited and I was really happy for him but also felt like it was too late. Like should I have said anything? What if he felt the same way? Would he have stayed?” He sighs, looking sullen this time.
“He may have, or he would still be taking the trip. Regardless, no one should be giving up on dreams for anybody, Chim. That’s not how it’s supposed to work,” you say, not meaning to sound as if you’re reprimanding him, but the look he gives is enough to tell you that he understands. He’s heard variations of that same sentiment before, anyway. 
Jungkook feels the tension in the air and breaks it by stating that he’ll be driving everybody home.
“I’ll be staying with my sister,” Jimin announces, his annoying smile now back, and he knows you can’t say no; by obligation or by choice, you won’t tell.
“There goes my weekend,” you gripe. 
“I won’t be a nuisance, I promise,” he says then crosses his heart, like it actually means anything.
“You’re a nuisance even when you’re not injured, what more now?”
“I’m not that bad,” he defends.
“Oh, but you are.” You turn to Jungkook. “You know, I actually tried to push him back in our mom’s vagina but even her uterus didn’t want him anymore.”
“Ouch okay, I will pretend I didn’t hear that,” and you all laugh as Jimin is transferred to the wheel chair and pushed by the nurse, signaling Jungkook to go ahead and retrieve his car.
**
You arrive at your apartment with a Jimin-clad Jungkook in tow, the worry of not having cleaned up quickly dissipating because this is your brother, and he shouldn’t complain. 
Jungkook assists Jimin in the bathroom while you set up your bed by piling up pillows for his foot. 
“I don’t have clean sheets for the sofa bed in the other room,” you say, “and it’s not cleaned up, as I didn’t expect to house an injured child this weekend. Just sleep on my bed first.”
Jungkook guides Jimin to your bed and helps him settle in, with your brother looking all smug with the treatment he’s getting because he knows you don’t give up your bed that easily.
“What about you?” Jungkook asks, seemingly more worried about your inconvenience than the actual cause of it.
“I’m fine with the couch. Wouldn’t wanna sleep here with him and accidentally hit his foot. He might murder me or something.”
“Thanks, Sis. I’m very comfortable here. I think I’ll be sleeping well tonight,” Jimin states, then yawns, drowsiness kicking in from the medication.
You roll your eyes and close the door. You lead Jungkook to your kitchen and offer him a drink.  
“I’m sorry for him, Kook. Did he drag you out of work?” You ask. 
“Just had to call the tattoo parlor and reschedule my Friday appointments,” he says, downing the glass of water. “He was pretty emotional over the phone and wanted to drink at 4PM and well, you know the rest.”
“Ugh, such a pain in the ass,” you mutter, massaging your temples. “But was he serious about the whole Tae thing?”
“Seemed like it. I think it just took an abrupt change for him to realize what he felt,” he explains. “But you know him - falls fast, moves on faster. He’ll be okay. You’re here,” he continues, flashing you his bunny smile, the one that used to cause you to pinch his puffy cheeks out of cuteness. 
But that’s when he was a lanky 10-year old with his awkward front bangs. The man in front of you now sports long dark locks and a sharp jawline, tattooed arms and probably a built figure, if the way he carried your brother as if he’s a feather is any indication of his strength. His bambi eyes, usually scrunched large nose, and child-like smile are the only things that remain from that memory of him. 
“You know I can’t stand my brother for long periods of time, Kook,” you pout, earning you an amused laugh.
“He actually already invited me over the weekend, asked me to bring my PS4 so we could play.”
“That bitch has to rest, what is he talking about?” 
“Same thing I told him. I’ll just make up some reason that my player caught fire or that I dropped it while running or something.”
You give him a straight face. “The hell would he buy that? You can just not bring it.”
“I’m just gonna match his drama,” Jungkook shrugs, earning him your laugh, which for him is all tones of sweet and soothing. 
A smile forms on his face at the thought of making you laugh like this, something he secretly enjoys. This particular sound would most likely be etched in his mind, among the several others that he caused. 
There was that time when you caught him doing chubby bunny as a consequence and seeing him stuffed with marshmallows made you secretly giggle because 15-year old you didn’t want to indulge in their silly antics; Jungkook heard it though. 
There was that other time during Jimin’s 14th birthday at an arcade, Jungkook went over the basketball game’s railing to get the highest score and you alternated between scolding him and laughing your butt off. He snuck the tickets he won in your pile though so you would have enough to get the Tinkerbell tea set because he knew your obsession with fairies.
When you visited home for their high school graduation, you all cooked dinner and he overdid the glazed sweet potatoes, causing them to get stuck on the plate. You tried to hold your laugh but gave up once he started dancing; he was so embarrassed but that’s when he knew he’d willingly make a fool of himself to hear you laugh like that. 
And 3 years ago, your large group of friends went on a ski trip. He was attempting to run up the slope but kept sliding, and even from a distance, he could pick out which laughter was yours; it was probably the only remedy to an otherwise heartbreaking weekend, considering that you were there with your then-boyfriend, Namjoon. 
Reminiscing those causes his heart to feel like floating, like always, then the words “nobody dates my sister” pulls that heart down to crash into reality, like always, too, the reality being that you’re his best friend’s older sibling. 
You’ve been off-limits since Jimin threatened Jungkook and their other friends about cutting off their dicks if anybody tried to date you when they were 16, but you were probably off-limits even before that. Jungkook mentally shakes his head. 
He doesn’t like being told what to do but then again, Jimin is his best friend, the tiny feisty 10-year old who fought off the bullies who tried to take Jungkook’s snacks. It had been them against the world since then, and so far, the only person he thinks who’d ever come between them is you.
Jungkook is pulled out of his thoughts at your call of his name, prompting you to repeat what you just said.
“I said, thanks again for being there for my brother like, ever since. If it was just me I would’ve disowned him a long time ago.”
Jungkook giggles, already used to the drama that is your sibling relationship. He’d witnessed too many wrestling matches, scream fests, and pulled pranks in the last 15 years. While you’ve both gone past those, your complaints about each other is something you haven’t really outgrown yet. 
“Well, I’m glad you didn’t disown him,” Jungkook chuckles, the words ‘he’s the only link I have to you’ quickly dissipating in his mind. 
“You know he just craves your attention and riling you up is the way he does it, younger sibling and all. I would’ve done that if my brother wasn’t 7 years older. Jimin tends to be immature around you but he’s the best person I know. I wouldn’t have survived anything if it weren’t for him.”
This brings a smile to your face, their origin story warming your heart more than you care to admit. Your brother is fierce and a fighter, you’d give him that.
“Well, he’s just as lucky to have you, Kook.”
It’s the tenderness in your voice that makes him feel like he’d just won a prize, and he wishes you don’t notice the flush of his cheeks. If you do, you don’t mention it, because not long after, you say that you’ll wash up, signaling him that it’s time to go. 
Jungkook drives home that night feeling like his pre-adolescent self, the giddy feeling of when you first pinched his cheeks the same one he feels right now. It’s when he first developed his crush on you - you’d been arguing with Jimin and said you wished he was as behaved and as adorable as Jungkook, prompting your brother to point out Jungkook’s large nose, which you responded with by saying it adds to his charm. 
Petty fights, like always, but it’s when you told him to not listen to what other people say if they’re out to put him down did Jungkook realize that you and Jimin were cut from the same cloth. 
Soon after, every little moment with you, every glimpse of your life outside of being his best friend’s sister became more and more enthralling to him. The fact that you were getting prettier each year just served to solidify his affection for you. And also made it difficult to hide his hard-on every time you’d show up for breakfast in your cloth shorts when he’d sleep over your parents’ house, or when he’d see you in your pretty outfits in the bars you all frequented once he was in Seoul for college. 
He’d let himself think of you during the times he wasn’t in a relationship, and he’d slowly let go of the bit of hope he’d have every time you were in one, partly because your relationships were usually long-term, compared to his, and also because your ex-boyfriends were nothing like him, which is safe to say that he wasn’t your type. 
Maybe it was the age, the level of maturity, maybe it was the sense of security, maybe he’s just not the kind of guy who could give you what you want, although honestly he doesn’t know exactly what that is. 
But if Namjoon - your intelligent, upstanding, businessman ex-boyfriend who was also really handsome and kind - and your subsequent heartbreak are anything to go by, then Jungkook is clearly reaching for the stars with you. Not that you’re out of his league, but he’s more like in the outskirts, just lying in the edges, the border between what’s possible and what isn’t, but definitely far from the center of action. Even tonight, the most time you’d spent together in years that wasn’t in a party, was because Jimin had been hurt. 
If anything, though, his long standing admiration for you hadn’t really gone away. And he doesn’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.
**
The weekend with Jimin staying with you wasn’t that unbearable, primarily because he was rendered immobile on your bed and was usually sleepy. You were thankful that Jungkook dropped by to keep your brother company while you caught up on errands and chores. 
With another work week coming filled with meetings and events, you had Jimin stay with Jungkook first. He insisted it wasn’t a bother; his work as a freelance artist and a part-time tattooist gives him control of his time.
It’s the weekend after the incident when you hear a knock on the door, not expecting to see Jimin with his casted ankle and crunches; behind him are 3 large luggages and a few boxes. 
You’re just about to process the sight before you when he says, “I got sacked from the company when I said I couldn’t get back to work next week. And I can’t afford to pay rent anymore, even if I get a roommate and I…” he turns to you, almost shameful, “I have nowhere else to go.”
You sigh because really, your relationship with your brother is hinged on fights you don’t really mean, pettiness that drives you crazy, and an unconditional love that you both deny but undeniably share. So you open the door wider and laugh at his “you’re the best sister in the world” claim and your usual response of “you only have one.”
Jungkook arrives with the last box and you help bring in all the stuff that seems never-ending, making you wonder how these fit in his car and how he managed to bring everything, including your brother.
“Park Jimin, you have so much stuff! You might as well have hired a mover,” you cry out.
“Oh I did,” Jimin answers, pointing to Jungkook.
You cock an eyebrow because obviously, movers get paid. 
“I told him you said you’re gonna make us dinner.”
“Except I didn’t,” you scrunch your eyebrows and turn to Jungkook, amused at his sudden change of expression, bambi eyes widening at his innocence. 
“I swear, he seemed so convincing,” Jungkook claims, hands held up as if in surrender. He bites his lips and looks at the ground. “I can just go, really. I’ll just force him to treat me to lunch when he’s healed and I can wrestle him if he doesn’t.”
“Don’t be silly, Kook. Stay for dinner,” you crack a smile. You walk to your kitchen and take out the pork belly to thaw. “I won’t make you steak though. That’s reserved for my wine nights when I want to bask in my singleness,” you call out. 
“Also,” you turn to Jimin, “you don’t deserve my steak.”
Your brother laughs, knowing that it’s your way to mask the kindness you’re showing. 
Later that night, with dinner out of the way and your spare bedroom set up for Jimin to stay, you guide him to the sofa bed and make sure his foot is elevated, bell just within his reach that you instructed him to ring when he needs you. 
“Thanks, ___. You—”
“Are the best sister in the world, I know,” you cut him off.
“I was gonna say you should get some rest and to not worry about me. I’ll be fine,” he smiles.
You nod and head out the room, the worried look on your face not going unnoticed by Jungkook, who’d just finished wiping the dishes.
“Everything okay, ___?” 
You heave out a sigh.
“What the fuck am I gonna do with him, Kook?” You ask, the reality of your injured and now unemployed brother dawning on you. “What am I gonna tell my parents?” 
Oddly enough, it’s when you and Jimin were finally adults did your parents think to check up on you both. Perhaps living under the same roof didn’t warrant that, but with both children now living independently hundreds of miles away from them, they’ve ensured to call every week. Your conversations mostly revolve around Jimin, though, the words “take care of your brother” not having an expiration date, apparently. 
You know the weight of the words - it’s not just because you’re older but because by your parents’ standards, you’re also the more stable and financially secure one by nature of your 9-5 corporate job in a fancy building that requires you to wear corporate attires, in contrast to Jimin’s late-nights in a dance studio busting moves in sweats. 
Your parents are partial to your kind of work, given that they’ve spent more than half their lives in the same field and always wished you’d both do the same, even if you promised yourself you wouldn’t give in to the world that took so much of your parents’ time from you. 
Much as you want to believe you’re just doing your job as the older child by entering the industry, you were too much of a people-pleaser who just wanted to make her parents proud. 
Jimin, on the other hand, was smart enough to only apply to the performing arts programs of prestigious universities in Seoul and was good enough to actually land a scholarship in the same school as you; your parents were backed in a corner and couldn’t do anything. 
You’d never tell Jimin but you always admired him for that; it takes a lot to stand up to your parents without actually standing up to them. You’re just glad that between the both of you, someone was brave enough to go for what they genuinely wanted.
“Tell them the truth?” Jungkook shrugs. “I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?”
“You act like you don’t know what my parents are like.”
True, Jungkook thinks, but he also knows things have improved on their end. “Well, if anything, they’re more receptive now. They would congratulate Jimin on the choreographies they’d see those idol groups dance. They ask him about work, too.”
You smile at the thought, something your brother never mentioned, but you can imagine how happy that might’ve made him. Jimin, as you’ve found out, is a sweetheart to his friends - affectionate in all ways and very expressive - something he isn’t to you and your parents. The same can be said about you, and you soften at the thought that you and Jimin really aren’t that much different from each other. 
Jungkook picks up on the thoughts going through your head. “He probably didn’t tell you because you know him, he’d go all soft if he does, and Jimin has this persona when it comes to you. And it isn’t the soft one.”
“Goes both ways, I guess.”
“It’s not the end of the world, and he doesn’t seem to think so. He’s going to be fine.”
**
Jimin, in all sense of the word, is not fine. It took a few days until he cracked. He went from being an obedient patient who followed the doctor’s order of staying in bed, to one who constantly walked around and complained that he had nothing to do. 
Going on dating apps makes him sad, looking at job openings makes him sad, not being able to move and dance makes him sad. And your heart breaks for him, knowing what it’s like to lose your sense of direction and motivation at the loss of something or someone important. You allow him to let out his frustrations, though, listen to him when he rants, feed him his favorite food, and call Jungkook over with his PS4 that isn’t actually broken.
In fact, calling Jungkook has been your go-to, especially when you’re running out of things to say to comfort Jimin. Most times it’s really just so they could play PS4 together, prompting Jungkook to leave it at your place so Jimin could stay preoccupied and not feel too down when the job lists come up empty. He tires easily though, and it’s after he’s been tucked in bed that you usually settle for a cup of tea in the kitchen, Jungkook now the one listening to you talk.
It usually starts with the topic of Jimin, followed by some memory from your childhood that you and Jungkook get hysterical over, followed by a story about your work, and then a story about his. His stories are more interesting though. He shows you the paintings and digital pieces he makes for clients, and tells you amusing bits about his tattooing gig like amusing patterns and memorable customers. 
Hearing all this sends warmth through you because of how much he’s grown. While you’re only 3 years older, you met Jungkook when he was a shy 10 year-old, a complete opposite to you and Jimin’s naturally sociable selves. He went from smiling sheepishly to joking around and giving you high-fives in the 5 years before you went to Seoul to study.
Of course he’s grown when he followed your brother to the same university, having seen him with different girls, going to the same parties because your friends had taken a liking to him, and attending his art exhibitions. He went from greeting you under his breath to calling out to you at a bar while he’s surrounded by his peers. 
This was the kid who used to follow your brother around - even joined the dance club in high school - and would dunk his head in water if you asked him to, but now he’s forged his own path, doing what he loves, and enjoying every bit of his time that he controls. 
Personally, you’re also just happy that he can be available for your brother and for you, too, seeing that the nights you used to spend forcing yourself to sleep are now spent in good conversation with him. 
He’s also gotten way more attractive in the past few years, something you’ve only noticed now. Perhaps it has much to do with the physical closeness when you talk - your kitchen bar isn’t that long, anyway - where you’re able to pay more attention to his defined jawline, his dark eyes that anybody could get lost in, the curve of his nose, and the perfectly-placed beauty marks on his face. Come to think of it, maybe Jungkook has always been handsome, but you stop your thoughts before they go anywhere restricted.
It’s one Saturday night when you arrive home, after having drinks with your friends, to a very drunk Jimin and a tipsy Jungkook, gorging on fried chicken. Just thinking of cleaning up is already giving you a headache, which is aggravated by your brother’s drunk singing of classic yet cringey sad love songs. 
“Yah! Look at the mess you’ve made,” you smack Jimin’s arm, pointing to the chicken crumbs on the floor. “And alcohol, seriously? You can barely walk properly and now you’re drinking?”
“I’m injured, unemployed, homeless, and heartbroken. Leave me alone,” is all he says, then proceeds to belt out an insanely high note that pierces your ears and which causes Jungkook to laugh, used to this already and may have been enduring this the past hour or so. 
“He’s been like this for the past 4 hours,” Jungkook says. 
“And you let him?”
At the final high note, Jimin passes out on the couch, body limp over the empty space to his left.
“He wanted to drink his frustrations away, thought it might help,” Jungkook responds.
You sigh in annoyance but think he’s right, too. Jimin was out drinking his frustrations the night he got injured but at least now he’s doing it in the safety of your home. 
“I guess,” you shrug. “Can you take him to his room before he severs his neck?”
Jungkook laughs but follows. He carries Jimin over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and you pretend to not look hot and bothered at how easily he could carry your dead-weight brother. 
You follow to the room shortly and place an aspirin and orange juice on the side table, knowing it’s Jimin’s hangover drink. You remove the strands of hair that have stuck to his forehead and tuck him under the covers. 
Jungkook looks at you fondly; for someone who always claims you should’ve disowned her brother, you sure have a very affectionate way of showing it.
You step out of the room and take in Jungkook’s tipsy state, red cheeks and glassy eyes giving him away. 
“You should stay,” you tell him. “You drank and I doubt you’d sober up anytime soon, but try anyway.”
He nervously accepts but not for the reasons you think. He’s nervous because aside from those sleepovers at your house when you were younger, this is the first time he’s sleeping under the same roof as you, and that makes him giddy but anxious at the same time. He hopes you don’t catch him mid-dream saying your name; that would be too awkward to explain.
He goes back to the living room post-shower, a blanket and large pillow on the couch and you, tucked in the corner with a glass of juice. 
“Did you want to sleep already? I can go to my room if you are.”
“No, it’s okay. I’m not that sleepy yet, you can stay.” 
He refuses your offer of a drink. Unsure of the appropriate distance from you now that there’s space to go around, he settles on the other end of the couch. You smile at him as he sinks on the corner and he smiles back as you take baby sips from the glass. You both settle in comfortable silence, appreciating the quiet as a reprieve from the mind-numbing noise from earlier. 
You take a big gulp and he couldn’t hold the chuckle at your wide eyes hidden behind the glass. 
“So I’m guessing your hangover drink is apple juice?” He asks, not missing the similarity with your brother.
“Yeah. Jimin hates it so I’m sure he’ll never take it. He used to finish all the orange juice at home and I was mad because I wanted orange juice, too,” you say with a pout. Jungkook’s heart skips a beat at how adorable you look and goes for an ah, that’s why face because he remembers you fighting Jimin over it before.
“So you just switched to apple juice?”
“Yeah, pretty much. It’s really good. I thought he’d switch too just to annoy me but he said he really doesn’t like it.”
“Look at you two, being all civilized for once,” Jungkook teases. You throw a pillow at him and laugh at his comment, but you don’t disagree.
“Yah! We’ve always been civilized, okay?” 
“Now that is a lie. May I remind you of the time you two wrestled in front of me over a piece of pop tart. How you tackled him to the ground and he pulled your hair and the innocent treat was crushed in the process.”
“Hey, I was 15 and I called dibs on the strawberry!”
“Or that time you both wanted to watch different movies and had me choose and I felt like I was signing a death sentence either way? But it didn’t matter because you still got into a pillow fight?”
“His choices were always so boring!”
“Or that time when…”  You throw him another pillow. 
“Yeah, yeah. I get it. We weren’t always civilized,” you give up, laughing so hard with him at the memories. “You witnessed the worst parts of us, huh?”
“I didn’t really have a choice, did I?” Jungkook cocks an eyebrow. 
“Well, you were the only one who stayed. The rest of your friends would run out once Jimin and I started going at it.” 
He laughs at this because if only you knew why he always stayed. He actually liked that you’d let him referee you two, he felt wanted. 
“Hmm, it takes a lot to handle the Park siblings, I don’t blame them.”
“Wow, Jeon Jungkook. Calling out your elder. Where is this bravery coming from?” You tease.
“I drank, remember?”
“Not much though.”
He shrugs. He doesn’t know, too, but he likes seeing you look flustered. “Enough liquid courage, I guess.”
You deem his answer satisfactory but it does make you recall all those petty fights growing up. 
“Sorry you had to witness all that,” you say, giving him a shy smile. “Our personalities were always just clashing and it was harder not to fight each other.”
“I think you two are just so similar, that’s why.” 
You look at Jungkook, eyes wide at the statement you’d only ever thought to yourself. 
“He thinks the world of you, you know?” He continues, sensing your now serious demeanor. “He used to tell the mean older kids that you’re his sister and you’ll fight them if they hurt him because he just knows you’d protect him no matter what.” 
You laugh and roll your eyes but Jungkook knows you agree.
“For schoolwork, he would always write about you as his role model or the person he looks up to.” Jungkook doesn’t miss how your eyes soften at this. “He never found out that I knew but I’ve read parts, how he wanted to be strong and kind like you, to be independent and smart and hardworking like you.”
Maybe it’s the remnants of alcohol, or this apple juice is just fucking delicious but you’re getting emotional.
“And honestly, I don’t think that’s changed. He’ll always look up to you, whether he’ll say it or not.”
And there goes the water works, causing panic in Jungkook and he immediately goes to you. Noticing your non-movement, he uses the edges of his hoodie to wipe the tears that have begun flowing from your eyes. He stills for a moment but seeing how you haven’t pushed him away, he continues. 
You look up at him with watery eyes and quivering lips. Somehow you should be embarrassed but something about Jungkook having seen the worst of you and being nothing but a huge help these past few weeks, you feel safe. No judgment whatsoever, just an air of understanding and care.
“Why are you telling me this?” You ask, and Jungkook feels weak at how you look. He didn’t mean to make you sad but all he wants to do now is hug you until you feel better.
“Because you’ve been so worried and so hard on yourself, as if it’s only your burden to carry.”
You try to object but he cuts you. “Jimin’s an adult. He’s crying and drinking and sulking but that’s normal. He’ll be fine and get himself together. I know that. Even he knows that. You know why? Because it’s what he’s seen you do.” Jungkook wipes another stray tear.
“Whether it’s a breakup or a work thing, he’s seen you take hits but never back down, never let anybody walk all over you, never let them take away the best parts of you. He’s struggled before, too, but he always got back up.”
“He’s good and strong that way,” you reply softly.
“Like I said, he has a good role model,” he smiles, nudging your shoulder. 
It’s meant to be playful but it’s comforting for you, and you’re leaning on his shoulder before you know it, ignoring the way he briefly stills at your action. 
“You’re a good person, Kook. We’re lucky to have you.”
You’re so close to him and he can feel the heat radiate from you. It’s too quiet that he’s afraid you’d hear the thrumming of his heart, from your words and the affection behind your still head on his shoulder. The situation calls for it, he thinks, so he lays his hand on your back and rubs circles on it.
He’ll chalk it up to liquid courage again if you ask, but you don’t. Instead you snuggle closer, chasing his warmth. He swears he could pass out with just this, but he tortures himself more by holding you even closer and he swears, even with his thick hoodie, he could feel your smile.
**
Over a month since the gutter incident - as you like to call it - you, Jimin, and Jungkook have found a pattern of cohabitation, and yes, that includes Jungkook, seeing as how he’s become a staple in your household and your life. 
At some point, Jimin had sulked less and would spend his time watching dance videos to remind himself of the feeling, even if it was just virtual. He’d even expanded his choice of employment by checking job openings as a fitness instructor and a ballet teacher for children. 
He’d also done his regular foot exercise once the pain became bearable. Still unemployed and heartbroken though, he’s been shameless in making your place his own home, with most of his belongings now removed from their boxes, and inviting Jungkook over any time, any day. Not that you minded though, since he’s been nothing but a literal angel.
Living in a studio on his own, Jungkook usually has ramen or street food as dinner, which is why Jimin used to invite him over his shared apartment with Taehyung so that Jungkook could at least have home cooked meals every once in a while. 
It’s why he’s often over your place on weeknights he doesn’t have a shift at the tattoo parlor. That and because Jimin still wants him over to play video games. Jungkook brings food over or pays for delivery though, and you welcome the initiative. 
On weekends, you’re all busy doing your own thing in the living room together, which carries over to movie nights. The young ones pass up on their friends’ invites to a party while you, well, your friends would rather spend their weeknights with their partners instead. So your night of basking in your singleness now means doing so with your brat of a brother and his dependable best friend.
It’s a Saturday afternoon when you get home from doing errands and you find both men in your living room, with Jimin reading a book on some dancer’s biography and Jungkook busy on his laptop. Your brother’s face pops on the screen and you decide it’s not a personal matter so you plop next to Jungkook on the floor and softly rest your chin on his shoulder, something you’ve maybe done once or twice before.
“What you up to?” You ask, an impressed look on your face at the snippets of Jimin dancing, some of which you’ve never seen before. 
“I’m working on his application video,” he says, pointing to your brother. “Since he’s not able to dance when he tries for jobs, he thinks sending them a video to show his skills will help.”
“Oh, like a visual CV of some sort?”
“Yes!” Jimin states. “Want them to know what they’re missing out on, and that’s a lot.”
You roll your eyes but mentally agree; your brother is the most talented person you know. 
“Kookie’s been kind enough to work on it for me although he’s been on it for hours,” he continues, a playful smile on his face.
“Give him a break, Chim. He’s done so much for you already,” you say, getting your own laptop and setting it up on the table.
“Nah, it’s the least I can do. He’s helped me so much, ___.”
“He fought off your bullies 15 years ago…” You cock an eyebrow.
Jungkook chuckles. “Yes. And more. Helped me with school work, my confidence, my social skills…”
“Gave him tips to woo girls because he was too shy to ask them on dates,” Jimin adds.
“Hmm,” you mumble. “What you gotta be shy for? Just flash them your smile or show them your toned arms, they’ll probably jump on you right there,” you say nonchalantly, unaware of the way Jungkook’s heart stills at your comment.
“He doesn’t want them to jump on him, ___. He wants them to actually like him, or love, whatever. He’s a romantic, you know,” Jimin teases. “Would travel to the ends of the earth or fight to the death for the woman he loves, whoever she is,” he says matter-of-factly, unaware of the way Jungkook’s breath hitches because if Jimin only knew.
“Aww, Kook. That’s cute,” is all you say, smile genuine though, he wishes he could see it everyday. But cute, really? That’s it?
He chooses not to dwell on it and instead asks you what you’re up to, to which you respond that it’s a presentation you have to work on. You’re frustrated at your lack of design eye and it looks so bare; you want it to look professional but still eye-catching.
“Maybe I can help!” Jungkook states.
But of course, you think. You’ve been accommodating an actual graphic designer in your home, surely it’s fair that he help you out, right?
“Yes please, Kook. I need to blow these people away with my smarts and my non-existent creativity,” you laugh. 
Jungkook sets aside his laptop, adoringly quick to prioritize helping you, and works on your presentation. He knows just the right color and font combo, even helping out on which details to include, what visuals to add, and how to make it exactly how you want. 
You’re amused at how easily he works on it. He's meticulous, working on the size of the texts and the angles of the patterns. Jimin chides him for his perfectionism but unbeknownst to both of you, Jungkook’s laser focus is a means of distraction with how physically close you’ve been to him the past hour, eyes flicking from him to the screen.
He wants this to last but also can’t wait for it to be over because of how nervous he is, especially with your constant praises for something really basic, but which he finds so charming all the same. 
Pretty soon he finishes and returns your laptop to you and retrieves his, quick to get back to work and focus on something else, which still proves futile once you remove your sweater to reveal a camisole underneath, and tie your hair on a high bun, thus exposing more of your shoulders and neck. 
He shakes off the tingles he feels, pretends to be completely unbothered by his attraction towards you that seems to intensify day-by-day. He looks forward to seeing you, and when he doesn’t, he yearns to. He’d been used to admiring you from afar but these past weeks showed that he has all the reasons to admire you even up close. 
You’re just as brilliant, feisty, and funny; sassy too like Jimin but in a captivating way, yet so kind-hearted just the same. 
The three of you settle in a comfortable silence, each busy with your own task at hand. With your knees touching Jungkook’s, your questions on any additions you make on the presentation, and him asking for your approval on the video (which he seeks, oddly enough from you and not from Jimin), your eventual quick agreement on dinner and your teamwork in preparing it, it all feels so familiar, like it’s home.
**
The next evening, you find yourself sandwiched between Jungkook to your right and Jimin to your left, who moved from his center seat to lie down, with half of his tiny body settled comfortably on top of you and Jungkook. Your brother insisted on watching “How to Be Single” tonight, like a slap to all your faces.
It’s during one of the scenes with the protagonist’s ex when Jimin randomly asks, ��___, do you regret breaking up with Namjoon?”
It may seem like a question out of left field, but with everything that’s happened, Jimin has been quite reflective lately, particularly about love. He’s had his fair share of partners but unlike you, is more a feeler than a thinker; gets out of relationships as fast as he gets into them; takes it one day at a time whereas you always have to consider the future. 
You don’t need to ponder on the question; you’ve gone through this multiple times with your best friends but never really with your brother. 
“Sometimes. But there was too much on the line and it was unfair to both of us if we carried on.” You sigh, recalling the moment you both decided it wouldn’t work. “It was something we had to do but doesn’t mean it hurt any less.”
Jimin hums, thinking back to the days he’d barge in your apartment and ask for leftovers when really, he just wanted to be near you so you had someone to cry to, just in case. That was over 2 years ago and it took you a year to finally say that you were over the relationship. He used to note your choice of words - “I’m over us,” never “I’m over him.” 
Next to you, Jungkook is picking on his nails, unsure if he should be part of the conversation. He’d heard about the break up since you had common friends. It was quite the shock, knowing how you and Namjoon were. 
You pick up this nervous habit, aware that he might not know what really happened. It wasn’t a secret but there was more to the story. 
“We just wanted different things,” you say then turning to both of them, “so you two better make sure you’re on the same page with the person you date, talk about what lies ahead, what you want, what you’re willing to compromise and what you aren’t.”
“That’s good advice, yeah Kookie?” Jimin says. 
“Why you focusing on me?” Jungkook asks. 
“You’re the one focused on the dating, not the settling. You avoid those conversations.”
“You don’t want to settle?” You ask, now curious. You’ve seen him with girlfriends but thinking back now, his relationships never really lasted.
“It’s not that,” he glares at Jimin. “I’m more of a live-in-the-moment kind of guy. Thinking about the future is great, I mean, any mature individual does that, it’s just…” 
He heaves out a sigh, hoping he’s not shooting himself in the foot with his statement. “What good is the future if you don’t take care of what you have right now? Isn’t the present more important because it’s what’s assured? The future is literally dependent on that, so the now is what I want to focus on.” 
He rests his head on the couch, nervous of your reaction. He knows you’re a planner, needs to see things far ahead to know what to do. 
There’s no one way to go about life, he acknowledges that. He just doesn’t want you to think he’s not a serious guy. With his developing feelings for you, not seeing him as a potential partner is literally the worst thing that could happen.
Jimin continues with the movie he paused but in your mind, all you could think about was what Jungkook said. If you and Namjoon hadn’t obsessed about the future, would things have been different? Would you still be together? 
The sinking feeling comes at the realization that maybe they still wouldn’t. What if your ‘present’ with him then wasn’t good enough in the first place? That the “could be” was more exciting than the “what is”? Suddenly there’s clarity, you just don’t know if it’s the good kind. 
Still, it doesn’t keep you from sinking further down the couch until you’re leaning on Jungkook’s shoulder. And like the few times that you have, there’s a comforting feeling in the act. 
“You must’ve made your ex-girlfriends really happy, huh Kook?” You ask, head shuffling near his upper arm. “Focusing on the present and the moments and all that.” 
You wish it was something you did, but Namjoon was just like you. 
“I guess you could say that,” he answers shyly. 
“But that was just it though, right Kook?” Jimin says. “Made them happy but not enough to fall in love.”
This prompts you to look at him, wide eyes full of questions. “How come?”
He turns to you and if he tried enough, Jimin right behind you would blur and there’s just you, overhead light illuminating the best parts of your face which is, well, everything. You’re absolutely breathtaking. 
And at your question - how come he never fell in love - comes his own realization. For all of his talk of living in the moment, tucked in the corner of his mind is the thought of the future he’s only ever dreamed about, the one that he’s always wanted, well, with you. 
“I - I actually don’t know.”
**
Adopting your brother, and by extension Jungkook, isn’t as bad as you expected. Sure, Jimin is still a diva and annoys you just because he wants to, but he makes you laugh more, compliments your cooking more, and encourages you to go out and have fun. Most times you do, but if you’re being honest, you’ve been enjoying time spent with him and Jungkook more.
Your movie and PS4 nights are chaotic and only egos are harmed. You and Jungkook help Jimin with job hunting, monitor his practice dancing, and watch dance videos with him. Two months since the gutter incident, you’ve gone to the park, the beach, and the river, perfected making choco-walnut cookies, and built fairy houses. 
Your days are more tiring yet satisfying, as if your apartment actually feels like a sanctuary, save for Jimin’s provocation leading to your bickering, but even that has become a welcome addition in your daily life as well.
Jungkook though is altogether a different story. You two have gone grocery shopping together more than once, had spent some mornings on a run, and some weeknights he even picks you up from work then you both grab some of Jimin’s favorite food for dinner. Those are on top of the many nights you’ve spent drinking whatever in the living room, bidding him goodnight either out the door or on your couch. You’re not exactly sure what to make of the giddiness but you shut down whatever unusual feeling there is before they start to mean anything more.
**
It started with a missed deadline, then an oversight of a risk, then your workmate Chul getting the last laugh. Sometimes, no matter how good you think things are going, all it takes is an extremely bad week, made up of extremely bad moments, to make you doubt yourself. You think some more, then you end up doubting everything else.
Am I good enough for this job? Can I really make a career here? Is this what I really want? Is this going to make me happy? Why the fuck am I still single? It’s the sudden feeling of uncertainty that overwhelms you, makes you second-guess, and suddenly you’re not as stable and secure as you thought you were. 
It’s this feeling that you carry over the day after at your friend Jin’s and his wife’s baby shower. Between their growing family, Yoongi’s hit-making record label, Hoseok’s renewed contract as a travel show host, Yuri’s PhD, and Na-eun’s engagement to her college boyfriend, you feel so… lost. Like you’re just getting by, just letting time pass until there’s something big and meaningful to look forward to again, whatever that is. 
Of course your friends would never make you feel any less; that’s really on you, which is probably worse.
The party is on full swing; gifts have been given and time has come for full-on socializing where you all get to talk about how great your individual lives are. Except for you. And maybe Eun-ha on the corner who doesn’t seem to be happy being here, but that’s not your problem. 
Somewhere near the bar is Jungkook, beer in hand and clearly enjoying himself. He’s a staple in events like this and he fits right in with everyone else - self-assured, content, in control, and may be on his way to a date, seeing as how that pretty girl hasn’t left his side all afternoon. Not that you were monitoring, though. 
For once, you’re actually hoping Jimin was here so you can whine together, but the group he used to choreograph for invited him to their concert, so there’s that. 
You’re on your third glass of champagne when you head inside Jin’s enormous house, away from the laughter and obvious put-together lives of your friends, when you see him, the man who was once your embodiment of stability, of a “good and secure life,” as your parents had said. 
He sees you, flashes his dimple-bearing smile, and walks towards you, looking extremely good in a white polo and denim jacket, brown hair slicked back. 
“___!” He greets, his arms immediately engulfing you in a tight hug, providing you the physical warmth that you haven’t felt in a while. You sigh into him, your head on his firm chest, his now sturdier frame but a reminder of the time that's passed.
You linger, prompting him to gently stroke your back like he used to after a long day at work. 
“You needed this, huh?” He observes, voice low and comforting. 
You release yourself from his hold and look up at him, his sweet smile a contrast to his commanding presence. 
“Unfortunately,” you sigh.
“Boss still not giving you due credit? Colleagues still not making it any easier? Stress still at an all-time high?” He asks, and it’s either he still reads you so well or your problems - or you - haven’t changed one bit. 
“You’re just not your usual energetic self,” he continues. “I mean, I haven’t seen your genuine smile since you arrived.”
He’s been watching you? Somehow that sends heat to your cheeks and quickens your heartbeat. 
“Just tired, is all. Plus, Jimin’s been living at home after a little accident,” you finally respond.
His face makes this charming worried expression. “House already a makeshift wrestling ring?” He laughs.
“You’d be surprised at how little damage there is in my apartment. Safe to say we’ve grown up,” you say, wide smile finally adorning your face, which he returns. You haven’t felt this light the whole week. 
“It’s nice to see you again, Joonie.”
**
You and Namjoon find a spot in the large living room, with the 2-seater couch being the only one available, the physical closeness making it difficult not to be mesmerized by his gorgeous face. His laugh is still the same, the feel of his hand under yours is still the same; the attention he gives, his thoughtful and wise words, and ability to make you feel cared for haven’t changed. 
You’re smiling more, eyes sparkling for sure, and you can’t help the way your body reacts the way it does - knees chasing his, hand tucking your hair behind your ear, voice going a key higher.
He’s still the same confident and self-assured man that you fell in love with, that you once saw a life with. It’s almost intoxicating, the way he speaks, sees the world, sees himself. You could easily fall into this again, into the ideal, the safe and secure, the expected, the could be. You think of the reasons why it didn’t work out, of what you chose when you decided to call it quits. His phone rings. He excuses himself but you still hear him. And you’re reminded why.
“I’m sure the gown looks beautiful, love. I’ll leave the party soon and meet you and our parents at the wedding planners’ office. See you in a bit.”
Your heart should be breaking but it’s just your pride that does. 
“I’m sorry, it was my uh—“ he says, unsure.
“Your fiancé,” you smile, as if reminding him.
“Yeah it’s… it’s pretty recent and we uh… we’re planning to have it in 3 months,” he explains, eyes turning sullen, lips curling into an apologetic smile.
“Congratulations, Namjoon. I’m so glad you’re happy,” you say, hoping he picks up the sincerity in your voice. 
He sits across from you again, hand on top of yours, his smile hopeful, and for the first time, you see him struggle with what to say. So you don’t give him a chance to.
“What are you still doing here?” You playfully nudge him. “You have somewhere else to be.”
“You’ll be okay?” 
“Of course. Don’t worry about me.”
He lingers this time. Maybe in another life you would’ve worked out, you would’ve loved each other better, you would’ve fought for each other. But not in this. 
He leans forward and places a soft kiss on your forehead and you shut your eyes, absorbing all the words he wishes he could say. I’m sorry. I will always care about you. I hope you find your happiness, too. 
Your eyes follow him as he walks out the door, out to the woman who could definitely give him what you couldn’t. From across the room, a pair of eyes follows your movement too, the way it has since you entered the party four hours ago. 
**
Whatever worry you initially had about getting drunk at your friend’s baby shower is out the window. You don’t mind anymore, not with your 5th glass of champagne and your 3 shots of vodka because of course, it’s Jin. You laugh along with your friends although you’re too dazed to process what they’re saying. 
Your jaw is sore from laughing over things you don’t understand so you decide to head inside, maybe call it a night and take the drinking back to your place; at least you’d be in your pjs and not in a tight dress and heels.
You’re pulling open a door that just won’t budge and you exert what little energy you have, causing you to trip on yourself only to be held steady by strong hands on your waist.
“That’s a sliding door, ___,” the familiar voice says, tone low but still teasing. 
You turn around and meet chocolate eyes looking down at you and you stare back even in your embarrassment.
“I… I think I’m drunk,” you stutter. 
You’re met with laughter. “No shit, ___. Think I didn’t notice that?”
“I…” You say, looking down at the hands still holding onto you. 
He quickly removes them, worry painting his face and you wave him off before he could apologize.
“Let’s go to a bar, Jungkook.”
**
You reasoned your decreased alcohol tolerance to your friends, which they didn’t buy but waved you off without much fanfare. They probably sensed you were out of it for a while. Or probably saw the exchange with Namjoon, who knows. 
But you’re now at a bar eating chicken wings and fries like you’re about to run out of food, the guy next to you chuckling and reminding you to breathe every once in a while. 
You finish your meal quickly and pout when you realize he’s barely touched his food. 
“You’re not eating,” you state the obvious.
“Sorry, too entertained,” he laughs, the child-like sound now so familiar, you’d recognize it anywhere.
He’s just smiling at you and you feel so small under his gaze. He saw you talking with Namjoon, taking shots, and almost tripping earlier. He’s probably wondering who this person is; definitely not the one who’s been semi-housing him the past few months.
You bury your face in your hands. “I’m so embarrassed,” you cry out.
“Hey now,” he says, hands gently removing yours from your face. He stops the one tear before it falls off.
“God, how many times have I cried in front of you, Kook? This is humiliating.”
“No one’s counting though,” he states. “It’s your drinks I’m counting and I’m thinking maybe you’ve had enough.”
You nod and he orders a can of soda and a glass of water. With light chatter and glasses clinking in the background, you two fall in comfortable silence. He’s quietly picking on his food, eyes roaming the bar while yours flit from him to the space between you, somehow wishing it isn’t as wide as it is right now. 
“I had a bad week,” you finally say. He nods.
“My friends are all accomplishing so many things, achieving their dreams and I’ve been stuck in the same company for 5 years.” 
He nods again.
“I’m a 28 year-old who got drunk at a baby shower and flirted with her ex only to find out he’s engaged.” 
Jungkook pretends not to be affected at the confirmation that you were indeed flirting with Namjoon but he nods just the same.
“And?” He asks.
“And? I’m in a bar with you, and I cried, and I’m acting like a baby because I had a terrible week and ended up doubting everything and now think I can’t get my life together. I mean, between my brother I can’t properly help, a job I can’t seem to stand out in no matter how hard I try…” You release a deep breath. “And a relationship I couldn’t keep because I wasn’t enough and I…”
“Hey, don’t say that,” he says angrily. “You’re none of those things.”
“I wasn’t sure if I wanted to have kids. And Namjoon always wanted to be a father,” you blurt, the words not stinging as they used to.
This stuns Jungkook. Jimin had always mentioned it was a mutual breakup but never said anything more. Jungkook didn’t think it was because of this. 
“I thought I wanted a family, too. It was so easy to fall into the idea of that kind of life with him because he was the perfect person to have it with. But then one day I just started doubting it,” you sigh, recalling how hard you used to be on yourself for suddenly wanting something different.
“Sometimes I think, what if I gave myself more time, what if eventually I’d be sure?” You take a long breath. “But the uncertainty was too much and it wasn’t fair to him,” you huff. There was no blame game; you both knew it wasn’t anyone’s fault.
“Quite the dealbreaker, huh?” Jungkook wonders.
“Yeah but looking back, the other issues were just bubbling under the surface. The future was so enticing and we talked about it all the time, it seemed much more important than well, us,” you explain. 
“It was Jimin who made me realize that I hung onto Namjoon for the relationship, the potential, what it meant. He was the epitome of stability and I was the same for him but at some point, even that wasn’t enough.”
“So, earlier. Why did you, uhm,” he starts, hoping it doesn’t come out wrong.
“Flirt with him?”
Jungkook nods.
“Being with him used to make me feel like I had it together, you know? Like I had it figured out because he did and it was silly but I don’t know, maybe I wanted to trick myself into thinking that by being close to him in any way, I had it together.”
“You don’t need to have it together all the time. You just need to have it together enough.” His whole body turns to you.
“You had one bad week, we all do. But it’s over now, isn’t it? Your friends doing well in their careers? So are you. You know what not to compromise on, what to stand up for, which battles to fight. I’ve heard enough of your stories to know that there are people at work who respect you, look up to you. The way your friends, your brother, and I look up to you.”
Your lips are quivering, forcing yourself not to cry again tonight. He just always knows what to say. “That’s really sweet, Jungkook.”
“Thanks, but I wasn’t trying to be sweet. I was just being honest. You’re a lot of good things to people, ___. Isn’t that what matters? Being a little off at work and drinking then flirting with an ex don’t make you any less of a person. Okay? You’re allowed to slip up every once in a while.”
You let this sink in.
“Look at you, Jeon Jungkook. When did you get this wise? It’s like I just blinked then you’re all of a sudden so grown up.” You tease to keep yourself from breaking down.
“Like I told you, much of what I know, I got from Jimin. And what he knows, he got from you. Maybe try listening to yourself, yeah?” He smirks.
You nod, smile creeping on your face the same way all the heat is rushing to your cheeks. You feel comfortable like this, being vulnerable and sad and doubtful but he’s holding you close without touching you, making you feel safe with just his presence. In the now noisy bar, your bodies angling towards each other, and with his tender smile, you feel a type of intimacy you’ve never felt before. It’s reassuring yet enticing at the same time. And this scares you.
You both stay for another hour until you decide it’s time to head home. Jungkook had taken a cab, too in anticipation of drinking so you both decided to walk back to your apartment, knowing the couple of blocks would be enough to sober you up.
The streets are still alive with the nightlife just starting but the noise starts to tone down once you reach your neighborhood. The long walk is soothing, as Jungkook leaves you to your thoughts, except for the times he has to steady you because, well, your vodka shots are still in your system and a walk isn’t enough to flush them down. Still, you’re calm, a feeling of acceptance overtaking you.
“Thanks for tonight, Jungkook. I hope I didn’t ruin any potential date or anything just because I couldn’t get the door open,” you laugh. 
He raises an eyebrow.
“That, uh, girl seemed really into you,” you stammer. 
He chuckles, hands in his pockets and cheeks flushed at the implication of your observation. 
“That wasn't much, we were just chatting.” He turns to you. “I could see your scrunched eyebrows from where I was and thought you needed help,” he shrugs.
You sigh. He was always helpful, ever since he was a kid. 
“You know, you were always the good guy. Jimin’s other friends were so rowdy and immature. Yugyeom was always sprawled on the couch with his feet up like he owned the place; Sejun was always finishing our ice cream, and Sunghoon was such a flirt.” 
Jungkook laughs, recalling the times you were scolding all of them for messing up the house and being so annoyingly noisy and eating your snacks.
“You were always the well-behaved and mature one. Like, you barely engaged in their pranks and stupid boy talk. You’d rather watch it all unfold until it was too much and you’d help me in the kitchen always. I remember your glazed potatoes. God, that was so hilarious.”
“That was embarrassing.”
“It was funny! And adorable. You were always so kind.”
“Thanks but uh, I wasn’t trying to be kind. Well, sort of. I wanted to impress you. And I—” He doesn’t know where this is coming from but it’s like word vomit, especially now that you’ve started to walk more slowly and are looking at him. 
“It was an opportunity to be near you. Kinda wanted a lot of that back then. Even now, actually.”
You gulp, unsure of what to feel or how to react. You thought you were imagining his lingering looks, or how his eyes shone a tad brighter and his smile was a bit wider when you were around. But he’s not saying what he’s saying, right?
“I, uh. Well, maybe you look up to me like an older—“
“Don’t say sister because I never saw you as one,” he interrupts you, frustration laced in his voice as if the word is venom. “Not when I was a teenager, not in the years after, and especially not now.”
You hesitantly turn to him, his nervous face a contrast to the offended tone of his voice just seconds ago. He nibbles on his lips, a mannerism you noticed when he was a teenager who always seemed shy around you and would only relax after you talked to him. 
“I’m sorry,” he mumbles. I didn’t mean to sound angry. I just—“ 
“That was your angry tone?” You tease, your laugh affirming him that you’re not upset one bit, just… unsure. You’re flattered, definitely; he is a very attractive man. Still your brother’s best friend, though.
This eases him, but prompts him to test the waters.
“I’m a gentle boy, what can I say? Most times, at least,” he says, and you don’t miss the playful tone of this voice, his eyes peering down at you, making your breath hitch and your hands clammy.
You wrap yourself with your arms - really to wipe the sweat off because you’re feeling nervous - but Jungkook takes this differently, as anyone would, and immediately unzips his jacket and puts it on you.
You slow on your tracks and you feel even warmer. He follows your pace but urges you to speed up once he feels a droplet on his cheek. You’re glad you opted to wear low heels today, tiring your calves only a little but allowing you to walk fast enough until you’re on the steps of your apartment in time to miss the sudden downpour.
Well, Jungkook doesn’t because as he enters, a portion of his torso is wet, his black shirt sticking on his skin to tease you of his toned abs that you definitely will be thinking about tonight. Between that, his damp hair, and soaked veiny arm, you curse your mind for the images it’s currently making up. 
All he did was indirectly tell you he has a crush on you, right? Or did he? He doesn’t seem as bothered as you expected him to be if that was the case so maybe you misinterpreted? 
You can’t stand this wet version of him so you say you’ll get him a towel but are too flustered so you hit the wall as you turn towards the bathroom, eliciting a loud “ow!” 
“You okay?” He asks worriedly.
“Yeah, still drunk I guess,” you lie. He smirks and probably knows you’re lying. 
“I’ll take care of myself, don’t worry. Go wash up and get ready for bed.” 
“Are you ordering me around?” You ask, trying your best to reestablish yourself as the one in authority because you can’t take how this man is making you feel nervous and unsettled and not in control. 
“Do you want me to?” He simpers, flustering you even more. What is with him? 
You roll your eyes and trudge to your bathroom. You’re technically sober but with Jungkook’s looks, the sudden flirty tone of his voice, and his innuendos, you might as well be drunk again. 
You open the door and seconds later he’s by your bedroom, a glass of water in one hand and apple juice in the other. The bottle of aspirin is tucked under his arm by his rib and he asks you to get it and you think he's evil for testing you but you take it, acting unbothered. He follows you to your room and you don’t stop him. 
Glasses now on your bedside, you tuck yourself in. “Thank you, Jungkook.”
“For what?”
“For staying with me? Listening to me?” You test the waters, too. “For caring for me?” And his smugness disappears. Before you is a man, all strong and tough yet his smile is the tiniest, softest you’ve ever seen on him, and even from where you are, you could see the tips of his ears turn red. 
“I really appreciate everything,” you conclude, and you mean it.
He gathers himself before he looks you in the eyes. “Don’t worry about it. Anything you need, just tell me.” You nod. 
“Sleep well, ___.”
**
You don’t sleep well. In fact, even with the rain pouring outside, you feel so hot, you end up shedding your shorts. 
The closeness with Jungkook has been gradual and if anything, it’s been comfortable. You convince yourself what he has is probably just a little crush; convincing your heart to still is a different story. 
Jungkook, on the other hand, can’t stop smiling. He was testing the waters tonight, gauging how you would react to his flirtation and teasing. It was partly the alcohol but then you’d gone all shy and flustered; he thought it was worth a shot.
He was half expecting you to scold him like you used to do with Sunghoon, or berate him like those guys at work but you did neither. You don’t seem to hate him, even with his indirect confession to you, and that’s really better than what he’d hoped. 
**
You wake up dissatisfied with your sleep and take your hangover necessities; dealing with Jungkook last night did add to your inebriation. 
You head out to the kitchen to prepare some beef bone soup to help with the headache, hands trying to remove the sleep from your eyes. You move like you’re on autopilot like most post-night out mornings and then you hear someone gasp.
“Shit, woman. Learn your manners and put some clothes on,” Jimin shouts. 
It wouldn’t have been bothersome had Jungkook not been here but of course, he is. Next to your brother, eyes wide and definitely trying not to look at your bare legs. It dawns on you that you indeed removed your shorts because of that very man and your face contorts in shock and embarrassment.
“Fuck. Jimin! Grab me my shorts on my bed, please!!!” You cry out and stand behind the counter.
He’s too scandalized to complain so he rushes to your room and you feel so hot all over. You avoid Jungkook’s face at all costs, which apparently is what he’s also doing.
Jimin throws your shorts on your face. “Get yourself together, jeez,” he scowls.
“You’re the one invading my space, okay, both of you,” you bite back. 
Jimin’s making faces like he always does when you scold him and Jungkook sits next to him, chuckling. 
“I shouldn’t have welcomed you, you brats. I’m used to walking around my apartment in my underwear so this is a lifestyle change.”
“Oh god, shut it. Nobody wants to imagine you without clothes on,” he cringes.
For some reason, your eyes find Jungkook, who visibly gulps. You glare at both men, and Jimin responds with an evil smile.
You return to what you were meant to do and start getting ingredients. Jungkook starts to feel bad and approaches you, mumbles to Jimin that he’ll just help. 
Jungkook appears next to you. “Did you mean that?”
You sigh. “I didn’t. Of course you two are welcome here.”
“I was referring to the other one,” he says with a low voice.
Your eyes widen and you smack his arm. “What is wrong with you? Stop teasing,” you loud-whisper, but he doesn’t miss the way you try to hide your laugh.
“You’re cute when you’re flustered,” he smirks, and you get flustered even more. 
You’re a 28-year old getting scandalized over playful comments by this ridiculously good-looking man and you feel so pathetic but you can’t deny that it’s exciting you. It’s been a while since you’ve had someone flirt with you and pay attention to you like this, make you all giddy and entranced as if you’re an adolescent getting her first love letter or being told by her crush that she’s pretty.
There’s playfulness there but affection, too. You see it in the way he stops the teasing and smiles to himself, then proceeds to help you cook, looks at you with fondness while you eat, then forces Jimin to clean up with him. 
This continues for the next few weeks. His lingering looks on you are more flirty now and he smirks when you look away and try to hide your flushed face. His tone of voice when Jimin is nearby is lower, as if he’s telling you a secret. 
He no longer stiffens when Jimin moves to the corner of the couch and kicks you closer to Jungkook so that your brother can make space for himself. In fact, it’s the opposite now, with Jungkook finding ways to be near you - when the three of you are on a grocery run, when you’re all on the couch for movie night, and especially when Jimin opts to sit on the floor - shuffling closer, knees grazing each other’s.
You’ve kept your head to yourself, fighting the urge to rest it on his shoulder and he definitely noticed this, so he’s started to edge you, in a way. The once lingering finger touches when he hands you something are no more, so are the “accidental” elbow brushes. 
He stands close to you just enough for you to feel the heat off him but not enough to feel him. His arm over your chair leaves his hand thisclose to your shoulder and you swear you can feel the sensation even then. 
You’d stopped smacking him after this one time he flexed his bicep and you started to imagine how good those arms must look.
You found out shortly after when he and Jimin convinced you to join them in the gym because Jungkook had a voucher to a free yoga class since a client of his is a teacher; safe to say she wasn’t happy when he popped in the studio to say you were taking his slot. Jungkook and Jimin did a workout, your brother now in a better condition.
After the session, they made you wait as they finished and Jungkook really had to remove his red jacket to reveal his stupidly gorgeous toned and tattooed arms in a black fit sleeveless top. He caught you ogling and the devil crossed his arms to fucking flex and smirk when the conversation he was having with one of the trainers didn’t even seem that amusing. 
Of course, his outfit just sent your mind into another dimension with the images of what could be underneath that black top and again, you find out one morning exactly how glorious it is. 
It’s one of those post-bar night mornings - you’ve allowed Jimin to enjoy the nightlife again as long as he had chaperones, which essentially were you and Jungkook. You’d woken up and stopped by the hallway at the sound of someone gasping and you look up from the hallway, slack jawed as you watch Jungkook pull his shirt off from the back of his neck with one hand, coffee-stained clothing lying on the counter.
His black sweatpants are hanging low on his hips and does he not have any boxers on?? His tiny waist spreads out to his muscular back, and when he turns, his sculpted chest almost blinds you; pecs just the right perk and torso so taut but not intimidating at all. It’s... beautiful. It looks so smooth and captivating; your eyes can’t help but trail down south and is that black ink that’s peeking underneath the waistband? You gulp at the thought of Jungkook having a hip tattoo because what the fuck? Is he trying to kill you? And his…
“Do you have a shirt I can borrow?” He asks, and you jerk from where you’re standing. 
Your eyes turn to the appropriate body part they should be focused on and he’s smiling like he’s an angel, as if he literally didn’t just try to murder you with his exquisite bare body. 
His smile is so sweet and you know he’s playing you because he totally caught you drooling at the sight of him. Your throat is dry and suddenly you can’t speak, which really isn’t surprising by now because he’s also taken away your ability to form coherent sentences. 
“I, uhm. I’ll get one of Jimin’s.” 
“I don’t fit in his clothes. Don’t you have large ones?”
He knows you do, and you nod, unclench the thighs you didn’t even realize had betrayed you, and retrieve one of your oversized Disney t-shirts and approach him. You stay at a safe distance because any closer you might fall into temptation and you throw him the shirt. 
He chuckles and turns to his side to slowly put it on because of course there’s a fucking dent down there that he wants to show off.
You turn and trip on your foot because god knows how dizzy you feel from the show he just put on.
“Careful,” he calls out and even with your back turned, you just know he’s smirking.
He beats you to the bathroom shortly after and he took his time. 
You decide to wait with your brother who’d been so ecstatic over an audition he landed for a fairly new and small entertainment company as a choreographer for a hip-hop group. 
They told him his contemporary dance background and versatility are just what they need and you soften at his joyful face; he says he feels like a new person again. You listen to him excitedly and give encouragement.
You perk at the sound of the bathroom door opening because you really need to clean the wetness down there and you trudge out of the room so you could finally shower, slightly upset at Jungkook’s clothed form. 
You groan. “Ugh that was so long,” you mindlessly say.
“Oh it is.” His smirk is back and you are pissed. You bang the door and pull your hair out of frustration. 
He doesn’t even need to touch you for you to be a whimpering mess. He knows it. And you’re in trouble.
**
Jungkook is busy for the next two weeks, having shared that he has a couple of on-site art installations outside of the city and a tattoo piece that will need more than one 5-hour shift. You tried not to seem affected when Jimin teased him since it was going to be on a woman’s breast this time. 
“This the same one who had her vagina tattooed? The one who asked you out after?” Jimin asked.
Your eyes were burning your phone screen because you absolutely cannot be affected. 
“Yeah,” Jungkook laughed. “That was fun.”
Jin calling you was your saving grace and you spent the next half hour in your room, talking to him over nursery room ideas because Hoseok couldn’t make up his mind over a neon green or a fuschia pink wall and Yoongi wanted dark grey because “babies can’t even identify colors,” which is true but Jin needed you as the one with a more palatable taste.
Jungkook had knocked to say goodbye, which is more than his usual yelling, and you noticed him linger before you heard the steps away from your door. 
**
It was day 5 when you realized why you’d been so grumpy and you hated the moment you did - you miss Jungkook. You’d gotten so used to seeing him every few days - picking you up from work, playing rock-paper-scissors to determine who’ll choose dinner, laughing at his high-pitched child-like laughter, talking to him about work and other things… you even miss his flirting and teasing. 
He’d been such a staple in your life the past months, and not just to referee between you and Jimin. Jungkook, with his listening ear, his heartwarming passion for his work, and ability to soothe and comfort you in the silence, just feels so stable. And not in the way you used to think. He’s so laid-back and just there, always dependable, like you’re sure whatever it is you’re feeling, he’ll know what to do and say. 
Jimin used to say that Jungkook was always the person he needed for anything and now you understand why. He emits a certain calmness, joy, and consistency, like whether you’re flying or drowning, he’s the pillar grounding you or keeping you afloat. 
You’re always tempted to send him a message but you two don’t text and it’d be weird to just start now, although it doesn’t help that he doesn’t text you, too. You shrug it off and convince yourself that it really might just be a silly crush, one he acts on when he’s around you but probably forgets when he isn’t. Or maybe he went out with that girl, who knows?
On the day that he arrives, he's set to drive Jimin to the audition and watch him, too, while you’re just happy to be able to do errands and clean the house on your own. 
The doorbell rings and Jimin, whom you’ve reminded to shower so he won’t be late, answers the door and you try not to look intrigued when you hear him rambling about how good Jungkook apparently looks because how else can he look better?
With ash-grey hair, that’s how. You couldn’t help it. You peeked and turned your head before he could turn to look at you.
You’re currently by the kitchen counter, tiptoeing to try to get the cereal box on the top shelf to check if you need to buy another or if it would suffice. Or if it’s even still edible. You’ll be off for a quick grocery run if only you can get this stupid box out.
Then a large hand is touching your lower back and the fresh scent of detergent fills your nose. You stiffen as an arm is raised to easily grab the cereal box you’ve spent the past 5 minutes trying to get and fuck do you miss his touch, his scent that you realize is just as comforting as his soft sweatshirts, and the way you feel a jolt of electricity even at the slightest brush of his body on yours.
He places the box on the counter. “You should’ve asked,” he says, voice low.
“I can do it,” you respond, gaining the courage to look at him and your lips betray you at how they part because he looks so good with his new hair. 
“I know. I just like it when you ask.” He tries to keep his eyes on you but they keep falling to your lips, the one he’d been imagining the feel and taste of. But your eyes lock on his, letting yourself be hypnotized. 
You feel his touch drift away from you and you stop him, as your hand finds his and keeps it on your waist, and it signals him to grip tighter and pull you closer. And you let him. You angle yourself so you’re standing chest to chest, you could almost feel his heart beat just as fast as yours.
“What else?” You indulge yourself because you just wanna know. You've missed him and you can’t reconcile the flirting with his recent silence.
Jungkook bites his lip, knowing it’s his signal to tell you how he feels.
“I like it when you say my name, when you listen to me talk and take me seriously. When you don’t make me feel bad about the things I do, the things I choose.”
His hand that isn’t on your waist glides through your arm, leaving goosebumps in its wake. It settles on your cheek and you hope he doesn’t notice just how hot it is.
“I like it when you pout and when you smile with your eyes,” he continues. “And I like it when you need me because then I know I’m not the only one, because fuck do I need you,” he continues, both hands pulling you closer to him until his breath grazes your mouth. 
“Want you so much,” he mumbles, before he eliminates the distance and you feel his soft lips on yours, moving tenderly, carefully, as if the purpose is to seek validation that you feel the same way, to ask your acceptance of the overwhelming affection he has for you. 
Your lips move gently like his, languid yet electrifying and euphoric and you hold onto him for support, just so you won’t lose yourself even more than you already are.
This now feels surreal. You’re not thinking about anything else - not the before or the after - just the feel of him at this very moment and how it’s making you feel alive, carefree, unbound. And you wonder if all your other kisses had felt this good before. Or maybe just different. 
You and Jungkook keep your steady pace, focusing on the soothing feel of each other’s lips, of the sensation of something sensuous and tender.
The aggressive pull of the bathroom door jolts you awake from a dream it seems, and you’re ducking down and crouching on the floor behind the counter before your brother notices anything amiss. Jungkook’s surprised but holds his laugh at how scared you look, the first time he’d seen you be afraid of your brother.
“Kook, has my sister left for the grocery?” He calls out from his open room, probably dressing as he speaks.
Jungkook looks up to check on Jimin. “Yeah, she just left,” he answers after deciphering your hand gestures from underneath him.
“Ugh, I forgot to tell her to buy my cereal. I think the one on the top shelf isn’t edible anymore.”
Jungkook smirks, thanking the heavens that Jimin didn’t tell you, otherwise Jungkook wouldn’t have had the best kiss of his life. He felt you; you moved with him, you felt him. And he can’t be happier.
He has a chance with you. He really has a chance with you, and even at the risk of being caught, he’d do this with you over and over again.
“Let’s go,” Jimin calls out. “I’ll just text her.”
“I’m sure she knows,” Jungkook smirks then heads out, leaving you with a dazed feeling and a heart that won’t slow its beating. 
**
Your time alone with your thoughts only served to confuse you even more. It felt nice. He felt nice. You’d never really considered Jungkook as anything more than, well, your brother’s best friend, even if he’d been the one you preferred out of all of Jimin’s friends dating back to middle school. 
His well-behaved nature and boyish charms were always endearing to you and even when he grew up, his confidence and compassion just amazed you. But it was always from afar. You think it’s the same with him; his affection may just be a little infatuation borne out of his idea of you growing up. You’ve learned enough that the idea of a person, of a relationship, of a could be isn’t always enough.
Another thing you think about is that Jimin is very protective of his friendships. You know that more than anyone, when you dated Taemin in high school. 
You were both seniors and had gotten close because he was Jimin’s dance captain and mentor, someone whom your brother looked up to and admired. Your relationship ended during your first year of college, with both of you saying things you eventually regretted. Safe to say it was your first heartbreak, one that resulted to Jimin’s as well, as his friendship with your ex was also affected.
You and Jimin barely talked about it, seeing his own disappointment because of the resulting strained relationship with Taemin. You thought that the elder would at least maintain a friendship, but he didn’t. 
The most Jimin said about it was when he told you, eyes downcast but tone quite angry, to “keep off my friends and don’t date any of them, please.” You were home for a break and he stormed out of your room before you could apologize. You realized later on that his heartbreak was worse than yours; you told yourself you don’t want to be the cause of that pained look on his face ever again.
His friends are off-limits, he made it pretty clear. Taemin was a mentor but one Jimin eventually did without. But Jungkook is his best friend, his brother. They’ve looked out for each other for more than half of their lives; you can’t even imagine what would happen if you and Jungkook get together and then fight, or break up. 
You wouldn’t want Jimin to have to give up a friendship that means more to him than anything. Or more accurately, you wouldn’t want to lose Jimin over something that might not mean as much anyway. 
You stick to the latter thought, especially when both men arrive home and Jimin is beaming, his smile something you’d never admit actually makes your heart feel all sorts of fuzziness and pride. He’s so excited and you feel it, too, moreso because he informs you that he got the job.
“They really liked me! They said I can really mentor the group and their team is so creative and passionate…” Jimin goes on, narrating every single thing that happened right as he entered the studio. You’ve never seen him this elated, not even with his previous company that was at the top of their game. 
“And they said I don’t have to work right away! They’ll wait for my doctor’s clearance but I can go to work to observe and get to know them more.”
Your eyes moisten because not long ago, you saw the joy in your brother wither away, his passion deteriorate, and his plans go on a standstill. But now, it’s like he didn’t go through a slump or moments of weakness, like he didn’t go through a depressive mode when he thought he’d lost everything. He’s really a fighter, and you truly look up to him. 
“I wouldn’t have made it if it wasn’t for you two,” Jimin continues, pulling both of you in a three-way hug because of course your brother wouldn’t hug just you.
This prompts Jungkook to wrap his arm around you, hand gripping your waist while yours settles for mere pats on his lower back. He tries not to dwell on this minimal contact, or on the way you purposely avoid his gaze. He tries not to think too much when you actively lean towards your brother more during your dinner out, or how you jerk away when any of Jungkook’s body parts comes in close contact with yours.
He’s thinking maybe you’re not in the mood for his playful antics or maybe, he really pushed too far with the kiss from earlier, and it sends him in an internal panic mode because just as his hope of starting something more with you was blooming, it quickly gets shot down just like that. 
It’s when you pass up on games and drinks in your living room when you get back so you could just stay in your room did Jungkook think that he may really have blown his chance.
**
You try to be subtle in your avoidance of Jungkook but it’s harder than expected, especially since Jimin still invites him over. With the excitement of the new job now steadying, Jimin announces his checklist for getting through a crisis - healed foot, check; new job, check. That’s pretty much it, really. “But I still need you two,” he says.
Jungkook comes over and at the start, you notice how he still tries. He attempts to catch your gaze, goes near you, engages you in conversation, makes jokes, lingers before leaving… only to be met with eyes that don’t seek him, short answers, forced laughter, and cold goodbyes. And you absolutely hate it. 
He’s around yet you miss him even more than when he was away, but you can’t fall into the things that made you feel something for him in the first place. 
Living with Jimin made you appreciate him so much more, and you’re glad you get to be this close with him for the first time, and you don’t want to jeopardize that. 
Jungkook had much to do with the newfound attachment with your brother, yet it’s exactly why you’re hesitant to give Jungkook a chance. Their relationship is sacred, similar to how yours with Jimin is. What you and Jungkook have is a by-product of those, and it’s not the priority. Somehow you think all three can’t coexist; you can’t have it all, really.
Whenever Jungkook makes an effort, Jimin’s plea to keep off his friends rings in your head. You know, too, that Jimin gave his friends an ultimatum - date my sister or keep your dicks, something like that. It was funny when you heard of it, but it’s definitely not a laughing matter now. 
Those words were said years ago yet they still hang above your head. You wish Jungkook would just make it easier for you, but why is it that when he stopped trying did you feel your heart break, as if you’re losing something you never had in the first place?
**
It’s easy to reason you feel sick and tired; you’ve been spending later hours at work so spending more time in your room and asking the boys to make dinner instead seem reasonable. But tonight, Jimin isn’t having it.
“We’re celebrating, stay here,” he says, pulling you to the couch next to him. Jungkook is on his right, his once tendency to stiffen around you back again, and you sadden at the thought because he looks so uncomfortable.
“Celebrating what?” You ask, grabbing the beer being handed to you. 
“I’ve been working for 2 weeks and I haven’t reinjured my foot,” he says, his smile blinding you.
Normally you’d roll your eyes at his shallowness but you just agree and mindlessly sip the beer, eyes veering off in the distance.
“Is it a guy?” Jimin asks out of nowhere and you try not to choke. “You only ever get this sulky when it’s about a guy. Is it someone from work?” Jimin states with furrowed eyebrows. 
“Oh! Is it one of the managers who’s been trying to ask you out but he’s the ex of your close friend?” 
You try to remember when you told him that but it was definitely a months-ago issue. 
“Or did you have an epiphany and realized you actually like Yoongi? Or Hoseok? Or maybe Jin but he’s married?”
“What the hell, Jimin!” You say, smacking his arm. Your eyes flit to Jungkook who’s focused on the TV.
“The first one,” you lie to satisfy your brother. 
“It’s kind of a code, you know? He’s Yuri’s ex and she really loved him and I don’t want to ruin my friendship over something I’m not sure is worth it anyway.” And with that, you see Jungkook’s jaw clench. He knows about Yuri and the manager; they were merely a fling, so he knows you’re lying.
“How do you know it’s not worth it if you haven’t even tried?” Jimin asks, incredulous.
“I don’t know, it’s just… Yuri’s my friend and I don’t wanna mess up a friendship.”
“Seems like you don’t trust your friendship with Yuri enough, then,” Jimin states like it’s a fact. This hits your more than it should. Do you really not trust in your relationship with your own brother? Surely you have a basis to be hesitant, but if it only it were that simple.
Jimin picks up on your silence and asks again. “How are you and the guy like? Do you have moments with him?”
“Lots of them,” you say, your eyes finding Jungkook just on the other side of the couch and he’s never felt farther away. 
“And for the first time it’s like I get to savor them. Whether it’s something sweet that he does, or if we’re just together in silence, or when he’s being flirty,” and you don’t see it but Jungkook catches you smiling at the thought and god does he wish you’re lying about this one unless it’s about him. He wishes it is.
“Sounds like a keeper if he gets you to enjoy moments, don’t you think? For someone like you?” Jimin says, cocking an eyebrow.
“Like me?”
“You think too much, you know? You plan, you analyze, you manage risks… I mean, yeah sure they help I guess but this isn’t a job, ___. There’s no profit to be earned here, no losses,” he points out. 
“The only loss is you missing out on something good because you’re too focused on what could happen, and not what’s actually happening, right now.” He's told you a variation of this before, but somehow this hits differently, and more than it should.
“Did you teach that to Jungkook, too?” You ask, a smile creeping up and you digress because you need anything to stop you from walking to Jungkook and holding him close to you.
“No, he taught me that,” Jimin states. “I know it seems like I teach him a lot - well, all I really told him was to never let anybody dictate what he wants and deserves in life, and I stand by that, but to be clear,” Jimin turns to you, “I learn just as much from him. He’s his own self; nobody tells him what to do.”
It’s all meant to be assuring, comforting even, if only Jimin knew. And if only it were that simple. The tension is suffocating but your brother breathes easy. You love him more than you can ever say and his happiness has meant more to you than you ever imagined. You just wish your own didn’t come at a cost.
**
A few days later, Jungkook is back at your place and you had quite the reflective week and opted to stay in your room. 
Some days you just want to bask in your own thoughts; absorbing yourself in your own emotions helps in figuring out what to do, you’ve realized. You’re still a thinker and a planner - that’s probably never gonna change - but you’re starting to at least let yourself feel and enjoy the now, or something like it. You just wish the person you want to spend your now with hasn’t changed his mind.
It’s almost midnight when you decide to head out, your early dinner long digested and you feel hunger creeping in.
You exit your room and stop in your tracks at the sight of Jungkook in your kitchen, all alone. You definitely weren’t ready for this.
“Oh, I didn’t know you were still here,” and you regret it immediately, not wanting to sound disappointed.
He looks up, alarmed at your presence because he wasn’t expecting this, too.
“Jimin fell asleep on me but don’t worry, I was just about to leave,” he responds, eyes not meeting yours. 
“He’s also gonna be coming over my place now since he’s able. Don’t want you to feel like a prisoner in your own home,” he says, motioning to your room where you’ve been hiding recently. 
“Since you’re avoiding me and all,” he continues, and you don’t miss the hurt look on his face. 
You mentally give yourself a pep talk because you definitely want him to still come around and you’re definitely being stupid. 
“I… I wasn’t avoiding you,” you say, blocking his way by the couch as he’s about to reach for his jacket.
He stops in front of you, ensuring some distance. “Yeah, I guess. I mean, you were just not minding me and making sure you stayed as far away from me as possible.” He’s trying to sound bitter but you’re his weakness and he will always go soft on you because his tender eyes are definitely not a match to his bitter words.
“I just didn’t know what to do. You didn’t exactly say what you felt and—“
“I kissed you, ___,” he says, tone suppressing frustration.
“I told you I needed you, wanted you. And you kissed me back. The way you looked at me that day, the way you held me… it meant more, I could feel it. So I don’t know how you could just act like none of that happened, like it didn’t matter,” he continues.
“Jungkook… you’re my brother’s bestest friend. And he’s very protective of his friends, of you.” 
And it’s ironic, Jungkook thinks, how Jimin is the reason why you two had met, got close; how Jimin’s what got you together but is also who’s keeping you apart.
“He’s also the one who constantly reminds me to go for what I want, to never let anybody tell me what to do,” Jungkook says.
“Yeah but this is different. I don’t want anything to come in between you two, the same way I don’t want anything to come in between him and me.”
“So it’s okay for him to come in between us? You really think he’d be okay with that? That he’d keep the two people he loves the most from being together? From being happy?”
And you hate that he’s right.
“What Jimin is to us is out of our control,” he states. “But that shouldn’t be why we can’t try, right? Because god I’ve wanted you since I was 15 and and I’ve waited too long for this and I’d either fight for us or keep us a secret, I don’t care. Just don’t lie to me, please.”
By now he’s standing in front of you and he could pin you against the armrest if he wanted to but he’s keeping his hands to himself, fists clenched at the control he’s trying to maintain because of his intense feelings for you. He’d make you feel it all too, if you just let him.
You can move away if you wanted; there’s space for it. But you don’t. Jungkook bared everything to you, braving through just to be with you; the least you could do is be honest. So with your own strength, you look up at him. 
“You made me fall for the moments, Jungkook. You made me fall for you, and there were so many things to consider and I—“
Your rear hits the armrest, as you’d reflexively walked back as he started to move towards you, slowly eliminating the distance. His arms, sandwiching you, are propped on the couch to support his spread out frame, his face now level with yours. You’re burning with how he’s looking at you with so much hope and yearning.
“Go on,” he says, voice low, his eyes wandering all over your face and you feel your heat dampen with just his gaze. 
“I didn’t know what to do with what I’d started to feel for you because you were off-limits but that didn’t keep me from wanting you and—“
His lips graze the side of your neck and with your breath hitching, he proceeds. Open-mouth kisses trail your neck, with just enough wetness and just enough heat to leave you wanting more. You angle your neck for more access and he smirks at this. 
“And what?” He urges you, mouth focusing on the other side of your neck now, head nudging yours to adjust. 
“And I avoided you because—“ 
You grip the couch for support, as you unravel with his hot breath on your skin.
“That seemed easier than to keep at what we were doing knowing that—“ 
He licks a sensitive part by your ear and your strangled moan spurs him on. 
“I couldn’t have you the way I wanted to.” 
At this, he stops. 
He focuses his gaze on you again. Jungkook holds onto the tiniest shred of self-control he has left just so he can savor you like this, emotions unraveling and your body falling apart before him. 
“How exactly do you want me?”
You steady your breath and as much as you want to give in to your carnal desire and attack his lips, you want him to know how much this means to you. You’re still scared but being with Jungkook steadies you, makes it all feel worth it.
You’re crossing this line now, and you’ll stick with him whether you’ll both come clean or keep it a secret. He wants you enough right now; you’ll figure out what to do eventually. 
Your hand finds his face and fingers trace the scar on his cheek. You let yourself drown in his beautiful eyes, knowing on clear nights you could see galaxies like this. 
“I want you close, Jungkook. I want you to hold me, when I’m sad, happy, confused. I want to hold you that way, too. I want to savor every moment, let you know everyday what you mean to me.”
Your featherlight touches on his jaw send shivers all over his body and he hums at the sensation. You caress his lips before he could bite them again, palming him with your thumb and feeling its softness.
“I want you to fall apart under my touch, want to make you feel good, kiss you like it’s always the last time.”
Jungkook thinks he deserves a prize for how well he’s keeping himself together and not yet taking you on this couch like his dick is telling him to. But he needed to hear all that, needed to look in your eyes while you said them.
Then you smile at him, eyes filled with desire, and that’s all it takes for him to lose his resolve and plunge into you, your plush lips against his soft ones, melding together again like a literal dream. He straightens his stance so his hands can cup your face and he feels you smile in the kiss, relishing in the care and attention he’s giving.
It starts tenderly then quickly turns heated, his eager hands trailing down your arms and waist, and your own entangling his hair, pulling the strands as he nips your lips, prompting them to open. 
Your tongues explore each other’s mouths, his lingering taste of rootbeer somehow making him more addictive. You swallow each other’s sounds, both of you still having half a mind to tone down, knowing that only a wall separates your wanton moans and your sleeping brother.
His grip around you tightens and you pull him closer, your hands now around his neck, fingers thumbing his cheeks and you’re losing yourself to him, as the past few months of undeniable attraction and sexual tension climaxing at this moment where you finally give in to what you’ve been trying to suppress.
Jungkook, on the other hand, feels a sense of calm even with his hard dick and his thumping heart because he’s dreamed of this, dreamed of you, and you’re here wanting him, too. All the memories of watching you from afar, blushing at how beautiful you are, missing you when you were away, heart breaking at how happy you were with someone else, fly by him like a movie because he’s got his ending - you. 
He’s lived for moments most of his life and always knew to savor them, to bask in them because he doesn’t know when he’ll get to have those again. But nothing comes close to right now with you and he decides to make sure he’ll have you like this everyday. 
Both your actions continue, hands stationary but mouths eagerly moving against each other, stopping momentarily for air but smiling, laughing in the kiss.
You give in first, fingers slowly trailing down to graze at his chest and he shivers, curses mid-kiss and you giggle, and he’s on cloud 9 again, realizing he can hear the beautiful sound that is your laughter everyday. 
Suddenly it’s all thoughts of what’s ahead for both of you, imagining what that would be like - feeling, holding, touching each other. You’re both so lost in your little world, minds traveling from now to tomorrow and it’s exciting, so incredibly alluring to be savoring this moment but also thinking about the next. 
You’re light-headed now because kissing him is like a drug, soothing yet exhilarating at the same time and you’re aching to feel him. “Jungkook…” You whine. 
And then.
“HOLY SHIT,” you hear a gasp.
Your eyes burst open and you feel Jungkook stiffen before you try to push him away. You both stull, looking at each other, some distance now between you, and you can hear a pin drop with how quiet it is, the tension so thick that you’re afraid to move. 
You knew at one point you’re gonna have to tell Jimin but not now and definitely not in the middle of a fucking make-out session.
“Is this a hookup or are you both finally out of your asses and would actually like to properly date because god knows it’s about time?”
You and Jungkook slowly turn to the side, eyes wide at your brother who’s leaning by the wall, checking his nails as if he didn’t just give you a heart attack.
“WHAT?” You ask.
“Jungkook’s been into you since forever but never had the fucking guts to do anything.” Jimin sighs and rolls his eyes at the man. “You’re not exactly subtle with your staring.”
Jungkook can’t seem to wrap his head around what's happening because his mouth keeps moving but no sound comes out.
“Neither are you,” Jimin eyes you this time. “You forget I’m good with reading people. And also, I’m friends with Yuri. She doesn’t even remember that guy,” he laughs because of course they’re friends. You feel so stupid; you should’ve known he was trying to catch you in a lie when he asked if your sulking was because of a “guy.”
“So you’ve always known?” Jungkook finally finds his voice.
“About you, duh. She’s recent,” Jimin points to you. “It’s like, one moment you’re friendly then you’re flirty then it’s like you can’t stand each other. Get your shit together, people. I’m literally right here.”
God, you and Jungkook were definitely not subtle. And underestimated your brother, too.
“So you’re not mad?” You confirm.
“No.”
“But… you said you were gonna cut my dick off,” Jungkook stammers.
“And you told me to keep off your friends because of Taemin,” you add. “You stopped being friends because of me,” you remind him, voice almost a whisper.
Jimin takes a deep breath because now he has to come clean.
“We stopped being friends because of him. He hurt you, ___, and you didn’t deserve that,” he admits, avoiding your questioning gaze. “I heard you crying to Jin about what happened and I got angry and wanted you to stay away from my friends because they were all assholes.” He continues, jaw clenched at the memory. “Well, except for him,” he cocks his head towards Jungkook. 
“He was the only good guy. I never really minded if he went for you because... iknowhe’lltreatyouwellandyoudeservethat,” Jimin says.
And you’re not gonna lie, you feel like crying. Jimin’s been trying to protect you all this time. 
Jungkook, on the other hand, isn’t taking this all too well.
“You said you were gonna cut my dick off…” He says again, tone low and unbelieving.
“That didn’t stop you, did it?” Jimin counters, earning him a sigh of defeat because he has a point. 
“I just wanted it to happen naturally,” he explains. “I mean, I didn’t plan on getting heartbroken, injured, unemployed, then homeless all at once but it happened and you both helped me and that unintentionally brought you together and I…” 
He turns to you both. “I realized how good you are together. Not just in taking care of me but in taking care of each other, too.”
By this time, Jungkook has found his feet and is back to standing in front of you, his hand intertwining with yours. You let out a laugh because this whole time, Jimin wasn’t in the dark. But then again, he’s a smart ass too and would’ve figured it out.
And would also push it. “I actually got over Taehyung months ago so like, I’ve been okay for a while,” he shrugs.
And just like that, he gets on your nerves again because that’s how he’s been getting his way, by reminding you of his “broken heart that’s still hurting.” 
“You little bitch! Do you also have a new apartment now and you’re not telling me?!” You shriek, and Jungkook next to you is finally laughing. 
“Oh no,” Jimin responds. “I’m really still homeless.”
And he smiles his sickly sweet smile and you can’t help but mirror it. Your brother is really something, and you don’t know what you’d do without him.
Some seconds pass and you’re just all basking in this moment because for the first time in months, it really feels like things are looking out for all of you.
“So in that case,” Jungkook turns to you. “Would you like to go on a date with me?” Hopeful eyes staring at you, a weight off his shoulder now that he doesn’t need to hide anything from his best friend. He can just focus on falling in love with you and making you do the same. 
“Yes,” you excitedly reply, hand trailing down his chest again. “And in that case, would you like to continue this in my bedroom?”
Jungkook feels his dick twitch. “Fuck, yes.”
“Guess I’m gonna have to sleep on the couch now,” Jimin groans, but you don’t miss his playful tone. “You’re both welcome, idiots.”
**
You’re pushed to the wall right as the door closes and Jungkook’s lips meet yours immediately. It tastes much sweeter knowing there’s no need to hide, to be careful. It’s liberating and it’s making you feel more.
He kisses you harshly as his hands make quick work of your shirt, pulling them off then slowly kneeling down in tandem with his mouth sucking, licking, and kissing down to your breasts, then your torso, causing your chest to heave at the pleasure from just his mouth.
His hands aggressively pull down your bottoms and his tongue finds your clit before you can even process his action. He’s nibbling your bud and laving at your lips and pumping his fingers in you all at once, you don’t know where to focus. 
You feel the desperation and intensity with every move, the sensation overwhelming and eliciting lewd sounds from you. He alternates between moaning and cursing on your cunt and that just adds to the pleasure.
“Eager, aren’t we?” You ask with a smirk.
“You have no idea,” he responds, head buried between your thighs, one of which is currently resting on his shoulder. “Some of my wet dreams may have been because of you.”
“What the fuck Jungkook!”
“I was a growing boy with raging teen hormones!” He says in between breaths. But he doesn’t relent. Fingers curling in your hole, tongue swirling on your clit, and hand squeezing your ass, he’s determined to make you cum now, and with a hard suck, you do. 
You jerk away at the oversensitivity with his mouth still on you and you pull him up to give him a kiss, tasting yourself on him.
At the sight of you bare, eyes half-lidded and steadying breath, he stills.
“Is everything okay?” You ask.
“Yeah I just…” He starts, stepping back a bit, and his eyes roam your body, smile creeping up his face. “I never thought I’d get to have you like this. I always admired you from afar and you always felt so out of reach and I…”
“Jungkook,” you stop him. 
“I’m here with you right now, barely any distance. I’m not your best friend’s sister, okay?” Your hand reaches out to him and he takes it, let’s you pull him closer. “I’m the girl you like whom you’ll take out on a date after you fuck her senseless. Got it?”
“Y-yeah,” he stammers, a shy laugh escaping him. 
You kiss him softly. “No need to admire me from a distance anymore. You have me, right here.”
“Okay.”
And before he can attack you again, you lead him towards your bed. Your fingers pull the waistband of his sweats as you sit on the edge and look up at him, wide eyes eager for something.
“Shirt off,” you say, and he follows.
Your eyes meet your hands that are slowly ridding him of his remaining clothing and you swear you could come again at the sight of the tiger lily tattoo resting on his hip. It curves with his semi-defined v-line, the stem trailing downward, like some pathway to his throbbing dick that’s leaking with some pre-cum.
You take him in your hands and he bucks at the feel of your soft skin around his length that’s aching to be inside you. Your eyes stay on the tattoo; something about it is so hot and you kiss it, lips then exploring the expanse of his hip and up to the part of his torso that you can reach, feeling the ridges of his definitely smooth abs, now tensing at the sensation. 
All the while, your hand is stroking his member, up and down as you continue kissing and licking his pelvis and just like this, he already tastes so good. He grunts with your ministrations, head falling back at the intense pleasure. His hands fall to your hair as you take him in, tongue traversing his dick and your heat clenches at the salty taste of cum and the feel of his veins as his shaft twitches in your mouth.
At the vibration caused by your moan, he stops you, removes himself from you and then lays half your body down on the edge of the bed. 
“My turn,” he says smugly.
You’re about to protest but he swirls his tongue all over your cunt again, the pad of his thumb flicking your nub and you moan his name instead. You haven’t fully recovered from your first orgasm yet but he seems determined to give you another one. He’s eating you like a man starved, as if he plans to slurp you dry.
“More, Jungkook,” you breathe out, then he’s pumping his dick and thrusting into you, the stretch just a tad bit painful but so, so good. 
He quickly adjusts, spreads your legs open for his easy access and the view, and he growls at the supple flesh that's taking him so well. It’s so erotic, watching himself go in and out of you like this, then hearing your deliciously hypnotic moans louden as his hands start kneading your breasts like it’s some dough he’s molding to his liking, his fingers flicking the hardened nipples.
“You feel so fucking heavenly, ___,” he pants. “Fuck, fuck. Can’t believe you’re mine.”
“All yours, Kook,” you respond, delirious now because his movements are really sending you to another dimension. “Fuck me harder,” you beg, and he follows. 
He adjusts again, flushing your legs against you and the angle in which his dick hits your sweet spot causes your eyes to roll to the back of your head. 
You’re screaming expletives and it’s just urging him to go harder, deeper, faster, his sweat trickling down his temples and forming on his chest.
“Cum for me, baby. I need to feel you,” he huffs. 
He’s in a frenzied state and he’s losing himself in you, his mouth now parted and he joins your filthy wails, which are in tune with the sound of skin slapping on skin. 
You feel your body spasm and you call out his name before you give in, heart stopping for a moment and he feels the stream of your cum coat his dick that’s just savoring this a bit more.
But you clench and it’s all it takes, his own seed spurting in you and your back arches as he comes down from his high by languidly kissing your breasts, one hand around your lifted waist and the other, intertwining your hand. 
“Fuck, you feel so good. So much better than I imagined,” he utters, sounding so winded at the intensity of his orgasm.
He’s too tired to even move, body now resting on top of you, chest heaving and bated breaths escaping him. You massage his head and he moans even at that and you laugh but soften at the intimacy of it all.
He finally gets himself off you and you chuckle as he sneakily opens the door and tiptoes to the bathroom, careful not to be caught naked by your brother. He returns with a wet towel, wipes you, then lays next to you, his arm secured around your waist.
He’s smiling so fondly, lips now peppering kisses all over your face. “You’re stuck with me,” he states.
“Nowhere I'd rather be,” you reply, your own soft kiss now turning greedy again, and you think it’s gonna be a long night.
**
You wake up tired but you’re not complaining. It was quite the evening, after all, and you’re reminded by the fluff of grey hair adorning your chest. Jungkook likes to cuddle, you’ve learned, and he couldn’t sleep without a part of his body touching you. 
You release from his hold and head to the kitchen after washing up, not expecting your brother to already be eating his cereal.
“Oh my god, can you wear shorts?” He huffs. 
“Bitch, you’re in my apartment,” you bite back, laughing at the face he makes. 
Your front is to the counter when Jungkook approaches and unlike before, heads to you, arms wrapped around your waist from behind and places a kiss on your cheek. “Good morning.”
His voice is hoarse and you hold back a moan because it just brings you back to last night when after you came the second time, he fucked you softly for your third, then fucked you hard for your fourth, then softly again this morning for your (extended) fifth. God, this man will be the death of you. 
He nuzzles your neck and you giggle.
“Manners, you two. You’re like teenagers,” Jimin scowls.
“Well, I am living my teenage dream,” Jungkook announces. 
Jimin grimaces but softens at the look of his two favorite people looking so happy. “Okay, this is gonna take some getting used to.”
You and Jungkook playfully nod in agreement.
“Also,” he turns to Jungkook who’s now managed to tear away from you. “Are you gonna be here again tonight because you know, I kinda wanna sleep on a bed and all. Couch is great but like, no.”
“You better find your own place soon if you don’t want to keep sleeping there every night,” you reply smugly.
“Okay, now gross!” Jimin, dramatic as always, pretend-gags at the implication. “I’m gonna look for places. Jungkook, you’re still my best friend. We’re going apartment hunting tomorrow.”
“But…” You start.
“No. Nuh-uh. You had him last night and you’re going out on a date today. You need to share my best friend.”
And you all laugh at him throwing a tantrum. He and Jungkook start to bicker and you walk towards your room to grab shorts because it really is awkward when your brother is there. 
The doorbell rings as you’re about to walk back and you open the door, a surprised look on your face.
“Hi, is Jimin there?” The person asks.
**
You head back to the kitchen, your guest in tow and you call out to your brother.
“Chim, someone’s looking for you.”
Jimin looks up and almost falls off the chair.
“Taehyung?” He says, trying to mask the nervous tone of his voice. “I…”
“I have something to confess,” Taehyung cuts him off, eyes nervous but hopeful. “Can we, uhm, maybe talk somewhere else?” 
Jimin nods and quickly follows him out.
You walk back to Jungkook and he tugs you close, hands back to your waist. “What’s that about?” 
You bite back an excited squeal as you think back to what Taehyung told you at the door. 
“Let’s just say, you might not need to help Jimin look for an apartment anymore,” you respond. 
Jungkook smiles and pulls you in for a hug, reveling in this absolutely perfect moment. 
“You Park siblings drive me crazy, you know that? And you two make me so damn happy.”
##
masterlist
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natsukitakama · 3 years
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Headcanon : Attention feat Kazutora Hanemiya
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author note :  I was obsessed with this TikTok and couldn’t kick it out my mind, now I’m not sure if it’s actually his Seiyuu who is dubbed it but it sure felt like it. I can’t breath anymore lol. It feels good to be able to write ngl. Enjoy ♡ 
-->If you’re curious you can find the TikTok right here 
Warning : SFW but I can make a NSFW version if you’re asking for it / It’s not Spoiler-free so  if you didn’t catch up with the manga you’ll be spoiled I’m sorry but stay safe ♡ 
Masterlist
i do not own those pictures they came from Pinterest so credit to their owner
it's kinda short to my apologies I would do better next time
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Kazutora Hanemiya 羽宮ハネミヤ一虎カズトラ
I can’t see him dating anyone before the time skip, even if we got proof that he was interested into people (we all see the way he was looking when he was at the beach). But during this time, he was a teenager more over he already a family, people who he cared about. He just didn’t feel the need to add a significant other, he has his family, he had Toman.
Now I’m not saying that he wouldn’t date anyone when he was a teenager but he was so focused on Toman on his family than I can’t believe he got time to date someone, especially since he was busy kicking ass with his friends Baji.
But no matter if you met him during his teenage, after he left the juvenile prison or when he left prison. You’re going to need some patience with him. He has lived a lot of things. He is still a broken man who is this close of loosing his entire mind.
I believe that I first you would be the only one working on this relationship, I mean you would do the whole flirty thing and at first he’ll barley interact with you. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t feel proud for your compliment and that he isn’t happy that you are interested in him. It just that everytime he felt close to someone, they either die or just left him.
He wasn’t sure if he was mentally, physically, emotionally ready for any kind of relationship
So yeah at first you would be the only to text/call first, you’ll be the only who is taking news might be the only one to think about where to go out together.
Most of the times you would feel insecure, after all he was so handsome maybe he just didn’t care about you ? Maybe you were bothering him ? Maybe he wasn’t interested in you and was just giving you a favor when he was answering back.
You would feel as if he didn’t care all as if your love was unrequited
But don’t worry about it, this situation wouldn’t last as long as you thought it would will.
His walls will finally shattered down and he’ll feel like he can finally be himself with you, showing you his insecurity, providing you all the love his broken heart got.
When this will happen, my my, you signed for the clingiest boyfriend of all time (top 3 at least)
I’m not kidding I just feel it, the boy got a lot of loves and needs to give and receiving (especially receiving).
You know those cliche movie where the boyfriend climb into your house so he could reach your bedroom ? He will do it, especially if he got free times and he felt lonely. Kazutora will just randomly climb into your bedroom and will knock at it with a lovely smile as if everything was normal (for fuck sake use the damn door baby boi).
He loves hugs whether he is the one who is been hugged of if you’re the one, either way he is fine as long as he gets close to you. Your warmth tends to relax him. He might even fall asleep if you’re stroking his hair or his neck (bonus point if you’re tracing the ink mark of his tattoo)
I feel like he loves kissing you too ? Like he just can’t stop kissing you ? He is an addict kisser. Like one day you were visiting him at the petshop dropping him a bento because you wanted to spoil your boyfriend. Even though he claimed to Chifuyu that he wasn’t tired 5min before you were here, suddenly he felt like he needs his 10min break. Guess who finds themselves being pushed against the wall as their boyfriends was kissing them deeply ? You. And he just didn’t kiss you once, no no that would be too simple, he will kiss you again and again one hand holding yours against the wall the other would be either on your cheek or on your neck. Good luck to find your breath after that. Believe me when I say that even when you were about to leave him so you could go back to school or whenever you were expected, Kazutora will take your hands in his to bring you against his chest to steal you a couple of kisses before finally leaving you.
Like I said he is an addict.
I can see him as the type to sometimes grab both of your cheeks with his hand and then kiss you, again and again.
He jus loves being close to you, so when you two are out for a date or just because you got the chance to meet him while you were going home. Kazu won’t hesitate and hold your hand stroking it with his fingers.
Holding hand is a minimum for him to best honestly
If he could he’d rather spend all of his time in your arms humming your smell getting warmth against you. But he can’t, so he is going to appreciate every occasion he got to get you close to him.
Since you’re his significant other Kazutora will be extra protector when it came to you, not afraid of threatening anyone that might be a bother to you.
Also he is jealous, he knows he shouldn’t feel like this especially since you’re always giving so much love and attention. But he can’t help but feel insecure, he knows what he is capable of, he knows his past, he knows what he has done, he is not perfect and certainly does not deserve love coming from such a piece of heaven like you. Yeah there would be time when Kazutora might be sad, feel down, and even though he’ll work on it so you won’t see it (afraid that you might be disappointed and will leave him) but you can tell that he is not feeling well.
Please, hold him tightly, tell him you love him, reminds him of much you cared about him, show him that there is no reason for him to be afraid. He just needs reassurance that you are here for good and that one day he wouldn’t wake up without you by side.
I just feel like he loves sleeping next to you, just the thought of sharing the same bed as him and getting the chance of waking up with you next to him is just his definition of heaven.
I also feel like is a tease, not on Mikey’s level, but I feel like sometimes out of nowhere Kazu will tickle you or whispering you something just to get to see your face turning red and then chuckle.
He is also the type to always give you his sweatshirt/coat, you don’t even need to be cold, if he noticed that you had been looking at his cloth or if you just compliment it boom its around your shoulder. It can be a way to show his possessiveness, like everyone would know that you belong to him who knows ? At least you won’t be cold.
He also the type to lay down on your bed and look at you with a loving smile, whether you were sleeping or not he doesn’t stop him from slightly stroking your cheeks bone, your cheek or even your lips loving the feeling of his hand/finger on your skin. It’s so smooth and soft he just can’t help.
Sometimes especially when he is sleepy, he will whisper things into your ear, kiss your all over your face.
A sucker for worshiping (do it for himself too)
Also he is not afraid to tell you he loves you, he might be not the first one to confess but once he knows that you love him. « I love you y/n » would be the first thing you will hear while waking up also the last thing before sleeping.
I think he might like the thought of you styling his hair even if all you’ve done was putting some cute clips on his hair he likes it and will even let you take picture. He is a sucker for your smile
Buy him jewelry and he will never take them off especially ring or necklace he just loves seeing you marking your territory.
As I stated before he is probably the type to overthinking a lot, like one day if you didn’t give the smile you used to give him, he is 100% you’ll dump him at the end of the day. Sometimes it’s not as bad as that, like you called him by his last name to tease him, he’ll just pout at you and then give you kiss all over your and won’t stop until you called him either by his name or by a nickname. But yes sometimes if you’re acting a little bit too cold to him he’ll think that your relationship is over, and will start to panic no knowing what to do to keep you by his side.
That’s the think with Kazutora he loves you more than he loves himself so he knows as a fact that he will be lost without you (not the only one to be honest but that’s for another headcanon)
So obviously you’ll need to be careful but since you’re still a human keep in mind to check him after if you’ve done something that let him think you guys were over.
Also, I can picture him to sometimes disappear. Like no one know where he is, not even you. He never left for too long (worst case : he leaves for a day), but sometimes he feels like he needs to be alone, like really alone. So he isolated himself for everyone, no one will know where he left, what he has done. But when he came back he always got that peaceful smile, the one where is eyes got nothing but regrets in them.
You feel like he spent his time in front of Baji ans Shinichiro’s grave, cause even years after this incident he couldn’t forgive himself for what he’s done to them. He can’t forgive him. Since he is lucky to be alive, sometimes he needs to see them in order to give him some strength in order to stay alive.
All the time when he is zoning out, you know he is thinking about all the bad things he has done to the people he cares the most, and even though he is working hard to be a better person what was done can’t be undone. Again hold his hand, stroke his hair do whatever you can to help him staying safe and not falling into his old demons.
Protect him at all cost.
Tag : @kshira
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myherowritings · 3 years
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PART 3. ACCIDENTAL SUGAR DADDY?
SUMMARY. Todoroki Shouto was a wealthy, young CEO who inherited his father’s enterprise. You were a barista at a local cafe who wouldn’t mind some extra cash. One day, Shouto came in during an early morning shift and tipped you such a large sum of money, you were certain it had to have been an accident. To your surprise and complete pleasure: It was not.
PAIRING. ceo!todoroki shouto x barista!reader
WORD COUNT. 2.4k
GENRE. ceo/barista au, fluff, eventual smut
WARNINGS. none in this chapter
A/N. happy new year y’all! :3 i hope you have a good 2021 and here is some flirty ceo!shouto for u to enjoy as we enter the new year hehe ;) thank you for reading and i hope you enjoy! xx sof
SERIES MASTERLIST
© myherowritings — all rights reserved. reposting, modifying, copying, or translating of any kind is not allowed. do not read my writing as asmr. do not plagiarize.
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“I heard you dropped by this weekend,” you said as a greeting, a playful smile on your lips. “Looking for me?”
If the tips of his ears didn’t tinge pink, you would have guessed Shouto was completely unaffected by your words. 
“Mn.” He drew his attention away from your gaze and pointedly adjusted his cufflinks. “Good morning to you too.” 
You laughed, accepting you wouldn’t get anything out of your attempt at teasing. “Morning, Shouto. How was your weekend?” 
The cafe was quite busy this hour, but Miyazaki took over the other register to alleviate the stress (though, what she really said was so you and pretty boy—who happened to be rich rich—could talk). Whatever the reason, you were glad for a small break whenever you could get it.
“You could say it was busy,” he replied, sounding a bit tired. For the first time since you met him, you actually noticed how exhausted he looked. You wanted to put cucumbers on his eyes and lay his head down on your lap to coax him to sleep. Nonetheless, he smiled softly at you. “And yours? I hope you were able to have time to rest and relax.”
You nodded. “I just slept a lot and caught up on the shows I missed throughout the week.”
“The real way a weekend should be spent.” 
His voice was teasing but he didn’t sound mocking. Just...somewhat playful. There was something about his tone that made you want to hear it again.
“Something tells me you need a weekend away where you could just relax and do nothing,” you commented, tapping the back of your pen to your chin. “Do you not have any days off at work?” 
He considered this. “Depends what you mean by day off.” 
“If you have to ask that, that probably means you don’t have a day off, huh?” you said with a frown, holding your hand over your chest as you sighed dramatically. “You poor thing. Overworked and tired. Maybe I should steal you away one weekend and get you to just relax.” 
You were only half-serious.
“Maybe you should,” agreed Shouto, sounding full-serious.
“Maybe I will,” you blurted before you could stop yourself. Maybe you could if you actually had his number… Then, feeling shameful you said, “But, ah, anyway, what can I get for you today? We actually have cheese danishes again!”
His face brightened. “You do? I’ll take five dozen.”
With a laugh you took down his order. You really weren’t sure where all these pastries were going when he bought it, but judging from his expression, you figured it must be somewhere good. 
“And for your drink?”
“This time I’ll have a large green tea with almond milk, please.” 
You nodded but tilted your head to the side in question. “No coffee with extra shots of espresso today?” 
“I add too much sugar and creamer to my coffee,” he admitted sheepishly. “And with all the baked goods I’ve been eating I realized I may have had an excess amount of sweets lately.” 
With an understanding laugh you patted his hand that was resting on the counter woefully. “I can definitely relate to that. If too many sweets are bad for you they shouldn’t have made it taste so good.”
Shouto glanced down at where your hands touched, an expression you couldn’t quite discern on his face. Averting your gaze, you quickly pulled your hand back. Was that inappropriate of you? Did he find it too pushy?
“Oh— Sorry about that,” you said, rubbing your elbow with your opposite hand. “Got a bit ahead of myself there.”
“No, it’s fine.” He blinked once. “I didn’t mind.”
Unsure if he meant anything by that and unsure if you were reading too much into things, you simply brushed the topic off and moved on to getting his order in telling him the price. 
“Paying by card again, I’m assuming?” you asked before hitting the appropriate button on the screen.
“Correct.”
By now the sight of the sleek and pretty credit card was one you grew rather fond of as he scanned over the payment terminal and signed his name. Was it weird you wanted to examine his signature more closely? Shouto seemed like the type of person who would have a fancy signature that somehow looked like art. 
As per routine, you told him his order would be ready for pick up at his right and, before he left the register, he thanked you and gave you another $100. 
Did it feel any less strange than the first time he tipped you? Not really, no. But you still weren’t going to complain about a generous tip from a willing customer.
Before he left with his cheese danishes and cup of tea in hand, he stopped by next to you with a small smile. 
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N.”
You grinned back. “Can’t wait, Shouto!” 
— ✩ —
This went on for a whole other week. By this point, he had given you over $1,000 in tip and you were starting to feel like you should give him something in return despite him assuring you he didn’t expect anything. 
When you told your friends about the nice guy you met while you were working and they asked for the details, the first thing they said in response to your situation was, “Sugar daddy?” 
Before they planted that thought into your head, you just took it as a rich businessman who hated the rich and believed in redistribution of wealth—you couldn’t complain about that. That made him even more appealing, if you must say. But once Kaminari and Ashido whispered those two words, you couldn’t help but see the comparisons. 
You had no issues with sugar daddies or sugar babies; as long as they were two consenting adults, what did it matter to you? It just wasn’t something you were looking for at the time and you didn’t want Shouto to get the wrong impression or involve yourself in something you weren’t ready to. 
As you commuted to work for your next morning shift, you told yourself today was the day you’d thank him one final time for the tips, but tell him you couldn’t accept anymore. You were sure he’d be understanding but you also hoped it wouldn’t deter him from coming to see you. That was the last thing you’d want. 
“Mrs. Miyazaki,” you said between customers. “When Shouto comes in, do you think I can step away from the register to talk to him for a little? I promise it’ll be brief!”
She waved her hand dismissively. “That’s not a problem. Are you finally going to ask him out or something?”
You scratched the back of your neck. “Or something, yeah.” 
Thankfully, by the time Shouto arrived today, it was later than he normally came, meaning rush hour was almost dying down. 
“Good morning! Someone’s a little late today,” you teased. “Overslept?” 
“I wish,” he sighed wistfully. “I had a meeting early this morning and it just ended. Didn’t have a chance to pick up some coffee or pastries beforehand.” 
You frowned. “I’m sorry to hear that. I hope whoever was hosting the meeting at least provided you guys drinks and snacks!” 
He paused. “He did, but… I just thought yours were better.” 
Smiling at the compliment, you preened. “Well, I can’t say I’m not surprised. And I’m glad you were able to drop by still. Would’ve missed you too much otherwise.”
Again, you were only half-serious.
“Hm. I would’ve missed you too.”
And again, he seemed full-serious. Not that you minded. 
After taking his order and watching him pay, you pulled him to the side, looking over at your boss so she knew what was going on. She gave you a brief nod as you turned your attention to Shouto. 
A lapse of silence went by and he spoke up, “Did you have something you wanted to say?” 
“Yeah, actually.” You wrung your fingers nervously, hoping you wouldn’t say anything to offend him since you knew his actions were coming from a kind place. “I just wanted to say… I’m not really looking for a sugar daddy right now.”
He blinked once. Then twice. “Pardon?” 
You stared at him, unsure what to say. 
“I— Sorry. I wasn’t… It’s not my intention to be a...sugar daddy either.” Shouto’s face flushed a bright pink that made your own cheeks warm up in response. 
“But the—the money? I just… I guess I thought…” You winced.
So he wasn’t trying to pick up a sugar baby… Well, this was awkward. But regardless, you think you’ve gotten close enough to him to the point where it would feel weird accepting money from him. 
“I’m sorry if I was unclear. It really is just a tip to show appreciation for your service here.” 
You shook your head. “No! Sorry, that makes sense! My friends just said… And then I…” you trailed off, feeling a million times more flustered than when you started. “Sorry about that. The sugar daddy mishap aside, I still wanted to say that I really appreciate the tips you gave, but I don’t think I can accept them anymore.” 
Slowly, he nodded, adjusting the collar of his dress shirt. “I understand. Did something happen?”
“No, nothing happened!” you were quick to assure. “I really am thankful, but… I think we’ve gotten too close for me to be comfortable accepting that much money, you know?”
Shouto tilted his head to the side, listening intently. 
“Like,” you tried to explain, fiddling with your apron, “over the past few weeks I just think we’ve gotten to know each other more and I think of you as a friend of sorts now.” You peered at him through your lashes, hoping your words were making sense. “I think as a relationship develops—for me, at least—adding money into the mix can cause weird power imbalances if not communicated properly. And I just don’t want that for us.” 
He thought through your words for a while before agreeing. “I get what you mean. I wouldn’t want to unintentionally make you feel like you owe me anything, so if you’re not comfortable with it, I can stop.” 
“Thanks, Shouto,” you said with a beam, glad he was so receptive. Really though, what else did you expect? From your interactions with him you took him to be kindhearted and open. Of course he wouldn’t be upset over this. “But just to be clear, this doesn’t mean you should stop coming! Right? I don’t want to stop being your friend or anything!” 
With a small laugh, he nodded. “Sure. I wouldn’t want to part with my favorite cafe. And I’d like to keep being friends as well.”
Those words warmed your heart. You really were nervous about this confrontation earlier; you didn’t want voicing your opinion to mean ending your friendship. (Although, if you sharing what you were comfortable with was enough to end a relationship, then you supposed it was bound to be a toxic and stifling one in the long run and it was good to know in the beginning to end it before it could grow.) Turns out, however, that you didn’t even need to worry about that. He was understanding and sweet and you were glad to have gotten this out of the way.
“Well, as new friends,” you said, gently nudging his side, “maybe we should get to know each other more? Exchange numbers… Hang out outside of this cafe…” You ran through some suggestions, almost bouncing on your feet in excitement. “I mean, I know you’re always so busy and might not have much free time to hang out. But— If you’re ever free one weekend…” 
“I’d enjoy that,” he cut in, saving you from blabbering your mouth off and accidentally embarrassing yourself. “Didn’t you say you’d steal me away from work to relax? I’m still holding you to that.” 
The beginnings of a smirk formed on his face as he looked at your flustered expression. Was he teasing you?
You huffed, pretending to be insulted by his playful mocking. “Guess I’ll really have to do it then.” 
“Guess so.”
“Maybe you should give me your number first so we could plan it.” 
“Okay.”
He handed you his phone and you handed him yours, both of your adding your numbers to the contact list. Smiling, you held the phone in front of the two of you to take a contact picture of yourself for Shouto’s phone. To your complete surprise, he laughed before promptly following suit and taking a selfie for his contact image. 
“Cute,” you said when he handed you back your phone. 
“You too.” 
Placing your device back in your pocket, you looked at him, hand on hip. “Since when did you become such a smooth-talker? Am I going to have to guard my heart now?” 
His only response was a shrug, but you could see hints of a smile playing on his face. The two of you seemed to be smiling a lot lately, you couldn’t help but notice. 
“I should probably let you go to work now—and I should go back to mine.” You gestured to the growing line at the front of the store. Your manager looked like she had things under control, but you didn’t want to take advantage of her kindness. “You should text me later though. If you want.”
“I’ll do that,” Shouto promised, picking up his drink and pastry boxes from the side counter. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N. And… I’ll message you soon.” 
As you watched him leave the store, you were certain you had a silly look on your face as you stared in a trance. 
“I’ll turn my phone off silent just for you!” you said to his back, hoping he understood what a momentous occasion this was. Your phone was always on silent (unless you were playing a game, of course). But for Shouto, you could handle hearing the obnoxious ringtone and text tone. 
With an amused expression he nodded before waving goodbye.
Later on that day, at the end of your shift, you noticed a new message from a certain someone that made your stomach flutter.
Shouto: Hi there. It’s Shouto :)
You never knew those four simple words would be enough to keep the grin plastered on your face up until the moment your head hit your pillow to fall asleep. But, damn— Were you glad that happened to be the case. 
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a/n: whY WAS SHOUTO AND Y/N EXCHANGING NUMBERS SO CUTE idk that scene got me all blushy and :DDD HFJDKSF like taking a selfie with shouto and getting his number? only goal in life BFHFGF,, also y/n said no more tips how we feeling? ;o 
what to expect in the next part:
an unwanted visitor ಥ_ಥ
shouto has a...proposition for y/n 
FLIRTING FLUFF SO MUCH CUTENESS U MIGHT CRY
y/n struggles with their fEeLiNGs~
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scarlettriot · 3 years
Text
For All The Uterus Owners
What the MHA boys do to make you feel better during that time of the month when you are in absolute PAIN!
Warning: 18+ content below the cut. Mentions of sexy times. And period things, obviously. Mild cursing. 18 and under DNI
A/N: Yes, I am projecting. No, I don't care a single bit.
Midoriya
. This man knows your cycle better than you do!
. It might seem annoying but Midoriya just uses all the knowledge he's gathered to make it this time as comfortable as it possibly can be.
. During the days leading up to your period, he will stock up on all your favorite snacks, make sure the heating pad is easily accessible and he buys pain meds in bulk!
. Throughout your period, Midoriya will do little things to make your day easier.
. He'll always make sure you have a glass of water because hydration is important.
. He will throw your towel in the dryer while you shower so it's warm when you're done.
. Absent minded massages for your shoulders, feet, legs, chest. Things like that.
. "I just want you to be as comfortable as you can, doll."
. He knows when your worst days are and will do whatever he can to make them less painful. If you're irritable and want him to fuck off, he will. If you want cuddled until you're sick of him, he'll do that too!
. Hero work will come up but he does his best to check in with you in case you need him to bring anything home.
. The one thing he hasn't ever been too comfortable with is sex during this time. He's tried, poor man really has but he just cannot.
. But, he knows how much it can help SO! Whatever toys you want, he'll get them. You want dirty talk or phone sex, he'll be at the top of his game! Anything to help you, during this time, he doesn't give a single crap about his own pleasure.
. He will pounce on you the moment it's over though and I hope you didn't plan on walking anywhere in the days that follow.
Bakugo
. He might seem like he doesn't pay attention to these things but the man knows.
. He doesn't think about picking up pain meds or putting new batteries in the heating pad but without fail, you can find your favorite snack well stocked just before you're due to start.
. It might have taken him some getting used to but Bakugo has come to the decision (begrudgingly) that while you're on your period YOU are the one who gets to be full of sass and attitude.
. He does try his best to temper his anger around you during this time. He has his slip-ups but he's trying to not make you more irritable than you already are.
. That doesn't mean he lets you get away with shit though.
. You're still drinking that water he's brought you.
. You have to eat something other than sweats and salty treats.
. You're also are not allowed to miss that meeting for work.
. If you're cuddling, he will pop off tiny little explosions to heat his palms and rest them over your lower abdomen, your back, or your chest. Whatever is aching.
. If you suggest a little sexy time might help relieve a certain ache he'll be more than happy to aid you. But, HE will only suggest it if you're being particularly sassy, complaining too much.
. "Cramps bothering you? Bet I can make you forget about 'em."
. Bakugo will take it as a personal challenge to make you forget about the pain your damn uterus is causing you. The only one allowed to make you feel sore is him, damn it!
Todoroki
. This poor guy...
. Todoroki obviously knew what periods were, he has a sister but he didn't KNOW about them until he lived in the dorms of UA. (I headcanon that Ochaco had very, very bad cramps one day and missed training and when he asked Midoriya why she didn't go to Recovery Girl to fix it they decided it was time for an educational meeting).
. They're still a mystery to him for the most part. He knows they hurt you, make you double over in pain sometimes and it's not the kind of pain that can be healed through a quirk.
. He knows you like certain foods and that snuggling against his warm side makes you feel better.
. With his father's credit card, he will buy you whatever food you like. Tell you to book a day at the spa or whatever it is that will make you feel better.
. He's shocked you don't usually accept his offer and would rather just stay in, cuddling against him instead. Not that he minds after a long day of hero work.
. Todoroki will regulate his heat until you are comfortable, you practically pulling his leg across you and using him as your personal heating pad.
. "This can't be comfortable for you. Please, let me just get you something that's meant to help you."
. He has a hard time understanding that he is your favorite and that this actually is comfortable.
. You'll have to explain to him there are other things only he could do to help you too...you'll really have to explain it to him too.
. He's willing to give you what you need though as long as it gets rid of some of your pain.
. He is going to suggest doing it in the shower though, hoping to avoid making too much of a mess.
Kaminari
. Yeah, I think Kaminari is too scatterbrained to actually remember when your time of the month is. He picks up on the subtle changes in your mood quickly though when it's coming.
. When he does realize though, he's at the store that very day throwing literally EVERYTHING and ANYTHING in the cart that even has the possibility of making you feel better.
. From food to medication, to stuffed animals, to video games, to board games... it's all going in the cart.
. This is how you ended up with the life-sized teddy bear that now sits in the corner of your room...
. Take-out happens every single night. He'd try and cook if you asked him but you know that's probably safer to just let him be generous and order in.
. Big time promoter of snuggles!
. Big time promoter of period sex!
. "It helps! Or, that's what I've been told... I'm just sayin' we could give it a shot!"
. And it did help. Because of that, it is now one of the first things he suggests doing when you are even just a smidge irritable.
. You can chuck the life-sized bear at him. He won't take it personally.
. It might come off as annoying but, he does everything he can to get you feeling wonderful again. Expending all his efforts on you. Doing everything he can to be a buzzy distraction and get you to smile.
Kirishima
. Not nearly as detailed as Midoriya is but also not as aloof as Bakugo. Kirishima cares about you and your health and he sure as hell isn't afraid to show it.
. He'll take a peak where he knows you store your feminine products a few days before you're due to start and then go out to the store to pick up anything you might be running low on. You seriously haven't had to buy anything for yourself. He learned after like two months of dating.
. While there, he will also make sure you have plenty of snacks as well as actual food for meals because keeping your energy up is just as important as making sure you're comfortable.
. When he isn't off being the sturdy hero he is, he's your comfort hero at home.
. Wrapping you both up in the heated blanket, he has to stick a leg out so he doesn't overheat but he'll be damned if he gives up cuddles just because he's a little warm.
. During this time, Kirishima will do everything he can to make sure you aren't lifting a finger! He's had cramps before, in his legs and arms from working out and his several growth spurts, he can't imagine how you deal with them month after month!
. He'll offer to do just about anything for you normally but that goes double when it's your time of the month.
. Massages are his favorite way to help you though. They usually always turn into something more not that either of you complains.
. He will let you take the lead every single time.
. "Just tell me what I can do to help. Whatever you need, pebble, just tell me."
. That statement is always said multiple times over the course of your period but with different contexts.
. Going to the store, running you a bath, getting medicine from the pantry, dicking you down until you're speechless... you know, whatever you need.
463 notes · View notes
jilliannotfound · 3 years
Note
prepare for a long ask (i’m sorry)
my brain is very full so hear me out-
dream smp casino/mafia au-
now i was at first thinking Kinoko kingdom (karlnapity) are the owners of the casino cause yk Las Nevadas Quackity but then i remembered “Syndicate” (by Derivakat) which has a jazzy vibe and was like, what if the Syndicate was a mafia ‘family’ that ran a casino and reader is their star performer who starts off every night with a performance of “Syndicate”. reader’s performance is used to kinda establish the Syndicate’s power over the casino and to remind the patrons anything they do will be under the scrutiny of a mafia with literally two of the most renowned mafiosos’ (Philza whose reputation of traveling all over and taking down many a mafia family precedes him and Technoblade who has taken down mafia families singlehandedly) in the city, maybe even the entire country.
the Eggpire is like a rival mafia that is trying to take control over the city so it isn’t uncommon for them to try and infiltrate the Syndicate casino. so i was thinking, what if the people who are Pro-Omlette (but not in the Syndicate so Puffy, Foolish (since it’s not confirmed he’s part of the Syndicate), Awesamdude and Eret) are staff at the casino. they were each like a lone agent after their mafia family split up/they left and decided to join forces with the Syndicate to make sure the Eggpire didn’t gain total control of the city. Maybe Sam is a bodyguard stationed either outside the casino or manning security cameras switching with Puffy, Eret can be like a stage manager/backstage to aid the performers and make sure no one sneaks into the dressing rooms or the light control area backstage and Foolish is like a bartender keeping an eye out on the main floor of the casino for any activity.
Dream was the former head of the well-renowned Dream Team mafia family until the family split. he’s notorious for breaking apart mafia families before disappearing into the night and traveling to a new city. occasionally he’ll hire some aid but they never last long.
Ponk used to be an on-sight medic for the casino in cause of bar fights or performers getting injured on stage but after many rumors (later confirmed to be true) of him being a member of the Eggpire he was fired and not allowed to enter the premise of the casino again.
Kinoko Kingdom was a rival casino/mafia family to the Syndicate’s but they’ve decided to have a truce to make sure Dream and/or the Eggppire don’t take over their city. Their casinos have different vibes with the Syndicate’s being more of a hub for mafia and business activity with jazzy music on the constant and famous for civilized and tame yet very entertaining entertainment whilst Kinoko’s casino is like more of a rowdy type casino, famous for high stake bets, drinks with high alcohol content and lively music and entertainment that can be seen as a bit too glitzy and tacky. Like you go to Syndicate casino for a night of business deals and building yourself up to the top, the type of casino you would bring your boss to, whilst the Kinoko casino is the type of casino you go to let loss and risk it all with cheap entertainment and even cheaper booze. their truce works out because their casinos are so different that competition wouldn’t be worth the cash (and the Syndicate knows they can easily take on the Kinoko mafia in a fight but shhhh)
there’s multiple places a reader character could fight but as a primarily Technoblade simp at heart i had to put reader as a performer in the Syndicate casino-
~🦫Anon (if this title isn’t already taken-)
𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕊𝕪𝕟𝕕𝕚𝕔𝕒𝕥𝕖
DSMP x Reader (in-game)
Summary: Request
Warnings: None?
A/N: Okay… I have a few important things to say. First of all, this story is not completed. This request is so genuinely good and I have been trying to work on it for far too long and have had very little success. With that being said I still want to publish the small bit of this story that I’m proud of.
Second of all, I would like any other dsmp writers on this platform to feel free to take this request and perhaps do with it what I wasn’t able to. If you write this story, please tag me because I’d love to see what you do with it. You can also use this bit I have written and am sharing to start off your own version of the story (just give proper credit)!
With all of that out of the way, please enjoy!
The Syndicate. One of the highest-end casinos in the country, and certainly the most powerful, being run by two of the best-known mafiosos.
Philza was best known for his travel, being able to track down anyone anywhere and take care of them.
Technoblade was easily the scariest man you could meet. He’d single-handedly taken down more mafia families at the age of 21 than most senior-aged mafiosos could even dream of.
It was rare to see either of the men in the casino, let alone to see them together, so when the pair came through the doors with power in their steps everyone knew something serious was in order.
They took their seats at the bar as Foolish prepared their drinks and Eret directed the casino's attention to the stage.
This performance was a nightly occurrence, the same jazzy tune came from the band's instruments as Y/N emerged from the curtain.
Hey, I'll tell you a little secret of mine
If you promise not to tell, if you have the time
Everyone has gotten you, always on the run
But if you join the Syndicate
Life could get a little more fun
It was the song of the casino, used to remind everyone just how much power it holds.
When all of the horses and all of the men
Won't learn from history, it's all the same in the end
I've told you once and I'll tell you again
The Syndicate is looking for a couple new friends
It reminds the patrons of the casino that no matter what they do, the Syndicate is always watching, studying each of them in hopes of finding some new friends.
Fight for freedom, fight to end the pain
Hey, this is serious, it's not just some little game
'Cause the anarchy's part of me, tyranny bothers me
End it all properly once and for all
They call us the villains 'cause they know we'll take the fall
The members of the Syndicate were a force to be reckoned with, composed of strong fighters and quick thinkers constantly working to take down anyone that dare stand in their way.
The Eggpire was their current concern. Run by a man named BadBoyHalo, the Eggpire was a whole other breed of mafiosos.
They preached about the Egg, whatever the hell that was supposed to be, and always wore a signature red color that made them easy to spot. Sometimes you could even swear there was a red glint in their eyes when talking about it.
After the incident with Ponk, their old medic that got caught up in the red whirlwind, the Syndicate became extra wary of the Eggpire, willing to do just about anything to take them down.
This is exactly why the two most powerful men were sitting together at the Syndicate’s bar with their eyes locked on the stage.
Fight for freedom, fight to end the pain
Hey, this is serious, it's not just some little game
'Cause the anarchy's part of me, tyranny bothers me
End it all properly once and for all
They call us the villains 'cause they know we'll take the fall
When all of the horses and all of the men
Won't learn from history, it's all the same in the end
I've told you once and I'll tell you again
The Syndicate is looking for a couple new friends
Oh, a couple new friends
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh no, no
You'll gain a couple new friends
As the jazzy instrumentals faded out, Eret poked his head out of the curtain on the side of the stage, gesturing for the resident singer to come backstage.
Y/N smiled at the audience and walked through the velvet barrier to be greeted by the deep-voiced brunette.
“Did you see who’s out there tonight?” They asked him.
“That's why I called you, they wanna see you.”
Y/N took a deep breath and headed out onto the main floor.
They’d been part of the Syndicate for most of their life and knew they weren’t in any danger near Techno and Phil, but the anxiety still pounded in their head as they approached the men.
Y/N sat on the stool next to Technoblade and the two turned their stools to face them.
“Lovely performance!” Phil praised
They shot him a kind smile and braced themself for the inevitable harsh news that would follow the attempted small talk.
“We need you to do something.” Techno said bluntly. “You know Las Nevadas?”
“Yeah, of course.”
It was another casino ran by Kinoko Kingdom, another mafia family. They used to be considered one of the biggest threats to the Syndicate because they had quite literally appeared overnight and nobody knew anything. Once the Eggpire popped up though, it was safest to become fast friends with the three men that ran Las Nevadas in hopes of strengthening their forces against the red abomination infecting families all over.
“We had a meeting with Quackity and he’s got a bad feeling about some guests that have been stopping by their area. It’s a shitty casino, we all know that, but he thinks it’s more than just some random troublemakers.”
:]
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yostressmininggirl · 3 years
Note
yooooooo can we get a part two to the ranboo’s guide fanfic? no worries if not it was just poggers af
yooooooooo i got you, bestie! It was honestly supposed to be much longer than that but I ran out of time, so here’s the part two I kept from yall! This ended up waaay longer than I expected it to be but thank you and I hope you like this too!!!
Ranboo’s Unfinished Guide to a Physically Affectionate Friend (RFG-PAF)
Continuation of RUG-PAF
Words -> 2213 Words (sheeesh)
Themes ->  School setting, a bit crack-ish, love language (physical touch - Reader side in the beginning), facial dysmorphia (comfort)
Art Credit -> Halfy Draws (From YT!) (POV: Ranboo being proud of having you as a bestie)
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“You’re so lucky you’re not taking the secondary test.”
“I asked you if you wanted to review with me the first time, but it was apparently ‘easy enough’ to not need a serious review,” you huffed at his reasonable point, taking the black notebook from his hand and shoving it into your bag with more force than necessary.
Ranboo shakes his head, amused smile on his face before patting your head like a child. It took all your willpower not to kick him between the legs at his unintentional belittling.
This was two weeks ago. With two days left before the mandatory final exam, you’ve only just remembered about Ranboo’s notes that he leant you to help. Your panic from your procrastination slightly relieved at the idea of extra aid.
“Benefits of having a genius friend in the honor roll,” the neglected notebook looked a little sad from being crumpled in the edges, tossed and turned nonchalantly in your messy bag.
The first page had a rough list of your friend’s schedule for this semester, adorned at the bottom right corner by his silly signature. The next few pages were classroom rules and little notes, before proceeding to pages of his infamous art style, random doodles of things that some you can’t even recognize.
Endearing as it all may, your confusion furthered when the pages after are blank now. “Did Ranboo give me the wrong notebook?” With your other hand, you started scrolling through your contacts to call your friend, dominant one holding the pages upwards to skim through the contents quicker.
Until it stops at a page in the middle where a random list showed itself - what?
Carelessly putting your ringing phone between your shoulder and cheek, your hands brought the notebook closer to your face for better inspection. Curiosity getting the best of you.
3. Do not refuse their massages, they are heavenly. Please hit me with a bat if I refuse one of their back massages
Massages? Massages... you hum to yourself, trying to remember the times that you have indeed pampered your friend with a massage.
“Hey chat, I gotta for a quick break. Give me like five minutes, yeah?” There was one time during a stream day that you remember vaguely; you looked up from your Youtube recommendations, sitting up from Ranboo’s bed to see the boy himself dragging himself over to your place.
You shot him a confused place, he only shook his head (face covered for safety measures) before flopping himself on the mattress. Across your stretched out legs.
Ranboo rarely takes breaks between his streams, other than to pee or fetch something. And from what you’ve gathered with your divided attention, there weren’t any issues with chat or the stream itself.
“You good, big guy?” Your unoccupied hand found purchase between his shoulders, kneading with your palm through his shirt - this caused him to groan, tense before completely relaxing on the mattress (and your legs, can’t forget you’re trapped) again. This response urged you to continue using both hands now after closing your phone.
A couple sighs of relief. “My back has been hurting a lot lately.”
“Ah,” you dragged the heel of your palm against a knot on his left shoulder, rubbing it until his tension from the area eases, “Tall people problems.”
Did Ranboo just purr? “Not just tall people, it’s a common problem. You have back problems too.”
“Touché.” The quiet calmness was filled with nothing but Ranboo’s occasional grunts, the rustling of fabric, and a Discord ping here and there. The stiffness of his back had relaxed significantly yet he’s still not letting up from laying on your legs.
Your legs had lost feeling. You stretch your back as well after being hunched over when Ranboo suddenly shot up from the bed, hugging you in your shocked state before practically leaping towards his streaming set up. “Heeey there, I’m alive, I’m alive. Yes, I know that wasn’t just five minutes, let’s say something came up. Anyways, where were we-”
He ignores the glare directed at the back of his gaming chair, the sharp tingles of feeling slowly creeping in to your dead legs.
4. Sometimes their way of comfort is through hugs and that is a-okay. It's honestly super effective!
This one is a memory to keep, bittersweet as it may.
During the time of Ranboo's sudden rise in popularity, and honestly all throughout his journey, you've always been updated. From his Twitter, to when he streams, even as one of the first people to enter his Discord. This monitoring only widened as he reached Instagram and Tiktok.
It feels weird sometimes, being by his side all this time knowing who he is and what he looks, what he feels and what he does while everyone else in the world can only hope - imagine! To be in your position. And despite everything being a secondhand experience...
You can only feel barely half of the pressure Ranboo 100% feels.
"I'm coming in," the light from the hallway invades the pure darkness of his room, nothing but the illumination of his keyboard had given the place a glow. You called out softly, whispering, afraid to break the thick silence.
A subtle movement happens in your peripherals when you called out his real name. There you saw his head pop up from the other side of his bed, body hunched and leaning against the side of his bed frame, arms hugging his folded knees. You closed the door behind you before crawling up and over his bed.
"Sorry you had to see this," he mumbled when you were close enough, head leaning back to rest against the mattress. With your stomach on the bed, you reached over to wrap your arms around his neck. "To see me like this."
"Tell me what happened," a kiss to the crown of his hair broke the cracked walls of the dam. It was always so easy for you to coax the pain out of him, to lay it all bare as you hold him tightly to ground him, remind him you're still there to listen.
His dysmorphia had worsened when you thought you'd hyped him enough to gain the right courage to open up to the world. And suddenly it’s back and worse than ever. Ranboo kept his eyes on the ceiling while your hand travelled to his hair to card your fingers through, letting him have his time to vent. All his feelings he’d bottled up from everyone. Even from you.
At the end of his rant he suddenly pulled away from the bed, back turned to you as he rubbed at his eyes.
You’ve always loved his gray eyes and throughout this whole scenario he hasn’t met your eyes once. “Ranboo, look me in the eyes,” his shoulders tensed but didn’t move. “Turn around and look at me, please.”
He knew him denying would only prolong the inevitable, and so with one last sigh he turns ever slowly to face you. Your hand shot out to his face and he yelped, closing his eyes by instinct. His fluffy cloud of a hair was on the way, so you pushed it away.
A pressure on his forehead forced Ranboo to open his eyes out of curiosity. “Hey there.” The reflection of his own on your eyes so close to him made him freeze. “Ranboo, why do you want to do a face reveal?”
“It’s.. because I - I promised when I reached this sub count that I would,” your hum to urge him to continue made him go on, “And you know? It would be really convenient, for vlogging, for streaming. It’s also nice not to fear accidentally doing a face reveal every minute of my career.”
The one-sided tension he felt slipped away when he was distracted on the way you booped your noses together. Albeit still a quiet moment, you both spared a soft chuckle. “I may not be good with words,” he almost laughed when you didn’t finish the phrase ‘till he realized you’re being anxious too. “You know me, I’m a hugs person.”
The usual smile on his face made you sigh in relief. “Keep going, you got this,” he nuzzled your noses in comfort.
“Damn it, Boo, I’m supposed to be the one comforting you!” You whined and he laughed again, this time more lively than before. “I’m just pointing out that - this face reveal? In the end of the day, this isn’t about them, this isn’t about what they think of you. Because...
You’re not here to prove them right or wrong, you’re not here to prove a point, you’re here for yourself. No matter what they say, what matters most is what you think and what you want.”
A few seconds passed as you watched your friend’s face for any shifts. And you gasped when his eyes suddenly misted over, about to cry - in your panic you leaned back to give him space, but that’s opposite of what he wanted.
Next thing you know you’re a groaning-in-pain, tangled mess on the floor from when he’d pulled you in his own panic. Your right hip and elbow hurt from the impact and this giant teddy bear have you locked in his arms. “Ow, Ranboo, geezus, what the-” And your protests died at the muffled whimpers next to your ear, that part of your shirt feeling damper by the second.
Without another second you wrapped him in your best hug, cradling him in the comfort of the darkness of his room until he himself breaks the hug.
It was one of the bittersweet memories you had about your friendship with Ranboo, but it was the catalyst to the closeness you have now. The first time he had freely cried in your presence, the vulnerability from utmost trust
“(Y/N)? You there?” Huh? Your startling made the phone on your shoulder fall to the open notebook you’ve been staring at for minutes now, stuck in remembering. “What in the world was that noise?”
Shoot, you forgot about the call! “Heeey, Ranboo,” you picked up the phone up to your ear again, closing the book with the other as you stretched your limbs. You heard him hum in greeting, your mind pondering on what to say next as you tapped your fingers on the notebook’s cover. “Can I come over?”
“Of course you can!”
Ranboo had just ended a Discord call with Tubbo when the knock came to his door, and when he went over to open it was when he remembered you were coming over. His joy when seeing you is apparent, bending down to welcome you with a hug before you could even initiate before urging you inside.
The school bag slung over your shoulder gave him an idea of your purpose. “You need help with your test?”
“Something like that.” And when you pulled out the familiar notebook, it took him a few seconds to understand the implications, from his confusion on why he still had his notes a while back to your flushed expression that shies from direct eye contact.
“Oh God, did you actually read it?” The notebook left your hand like a thief to an old lady’s purse.
“Yeahh,” before the apology could leave his lips, you offered a hug that he gladly bends down to, just to ease his prior assumptions. “I’m not mad! Or weirded out, or whatever! I think it’s really sweet! I’m very happy to have you, Ranboo.”
The way he placed his weight on you so carelessly almost made you trip backwards if not for the arms wrapped around your waist. “Oh thank goodness, I really thought I messed up badly. I’m happy, and lucky to have you as well, (YN). More than you’ll ever know.”
Hours had passed after the initial surprise and it was nearing midnight when Ranboo checked the clock in his computer. Two hours of brute forcing the knowledge into your brain with Ranboo, and an hour more of him leaving you be to play with his friends. “Hey, how’s reviewing going-”
Turning his gaming chair gave him a sight. Of you sprawled out on his bed, the black notebook (the right one this time!) laying on your face, conveniently blocking the light from the bulbs ahead to not disrupt your sleep.
Your friend let out a sigh, a mirthful smile tickling his lips at the antics of his best friend.
“What did you honestly expect, Ranboo, you should have known.” He mumbled to himself as he left his set up, packing the items strewn about his bed and you on to the night stand next to it. The sight of the first black notebook (the wrong one) made him stop in his tracks, eyes flicking between the accursed item and the light switch.
And not a second longer he submits to his plan, pen in hand.
5. If you end up catching your friend's love language, that is perfectly fine. Normalize men with feelings, normalize loving your homies because they deserve it.
Lights off, Ranboo slips under the blankets next to you, the action making your sleepy self hug what you assumed was a long, oversized pillow.
The long, oversized pillow hugs back.
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darthkruge · 3 years
Note
hello lovely!! i’ve been getting back into star wars lately and i’ve been loving your fics!! and i was wondering if i could make a request?? sort of like,, anakin but he doesn’t turn to the dark side type thing?? like he maybe confesses he’s scared to lose you and you help him through it?? maybe obi wan helps out?? honestly you can take it however you want :)) ty ty
anakin skywalker x reader || rewritten
summary || a rots fix it fic where i take many liberties and give anakin a support system + everyone gets better communication and we think about how it would perhaps end differently
warnings || hella canon divergence, angst w/ a happy ending, some violence (non graphic and not super described)
words || 5.1k (i am legit shocked)
a/n || hello and thank you!! i’m so glad you’ve been loving my fics! this fic was honestly super challenging for me and it ended up being the longest thing i’ve ever written. i made some big changes and lots of smaller ones, but each one was fully intentional. i really, really hope y’all like it <3
main masterlist || anakin masterlist 
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gif credit
-----
Anakin awoke with a start, chest heaving and covered in sweat. He was gripping the blankets as he tried to ground himself, frantically looking around as if to discern between reality and the horrid dreamscape his mind created. He whipped his head to the side, visibly relaxing as he saw you staring up at him, a confused look on your face. 
You were no stranger to Anakin’s nightmares but this one seemed unlike any he’d ever had. You slept curled into him and, thus, his jolt caused one of your own. Unsure if he wanted your touch just yet, you reached out to him with the Force. Panic, loss, grief, fear, terror, insecurity. You looked into his eyes, watching as they slowly cleared and he registered your presence. He blinked quickly, trying to clear the tears from his vision and gave you a slight nod. 
Reaching a tentative hand to his shoulder, you suppressed a gasp as you felt him shudder beneath you. You quietly whispered his name and placed a finger under his jaw, guiding his face to yours. You nodded back at him and opened your arms in silent invitation. He crawled into your embrace as you pulled him impossibly close to you, situating yourself against the headboard so you could better wrap yourself around his shaking body. Choked sobs erupted from his lips, each one tearing a hole in your heart. As he finally let himself cry with his face buried into your neck, you held him. By the Maker, you held him. 
He didn’t want to speak just yet and you understood. You’ve always extended the same respect back to him as he gives to you. Tucked into you, Anakin’s fingers squeezed into your flesh, as if trying to remind himself you were solid. You placed a few kisses into his soft hair and onto his forehead, hands running up and down his arms and back. You physically pressed reminders of your love into his skin for hours and, somewhere in the midst of your embrace, he let himself fall into a state of limbo. Unawake, unasleep, umoving, yet feeling everything you had to offer. 
----
When morning came, you reached out once again. The emotions from last night were still evident, just not as strong. Simultaneously, you allowed a small smile to come to you as you felt something new. Warmth, comfort, love. You ran your fingers through Anakin’s hair to pull him to consciousness, needing to see his eyes. Stars, his eyes. While they were absolutely gorgeous, they also always gave him away. You once told him that. “Only for you, my love.” He’d replied. 
“Hi.” He croaked out, meeting your gaze. Your eyes fluttered closed for a second as you took a deep breath in relief. His eyes were clear. You didn’t know how long the shadows would be banished for, but as long as they weren’t constant, you had hope. 
“Hi, baby.” You whispered, allowing yourself to give him another forehead kiss, made easy by your position that you’d somehow remained in throughout the night. You looked at him expectantly and knew he knew what you were asking.
“You… you died,” Anakin started. His eyes were already filling with tears. “It wasn’t clear. There was so much blood. And you kept begging me to help you. You screamed and screamed and screamed and you were in agony and…” 
You took his hand in yours, squeezing his fingers in encouragement to go on.
“I never- I never came for you.” He spit the words out as if they were venomous and shook his head. You could hear the self-hatred in his words, the way he couldn’t grasp the concept of hurting you, ever, and yet how seriously he took this. 
“Hey, hey. Stop, my love.” You said, hoping to pull him out of his spiral. “You would never harm me, Anakin. You would come for me, you always have. That was a horrible dream and I’m so sorry you had to experience it. But it was just a dream, Anakin. It’s not real.” 
He pulled away from you as if he couldn’t stand to feel your gentle touch. “No, no, no! It-” His words were cut off by his uneven breathing, his pulse racing as he relived the nightmare. “It felt like the ones I had about my mother. It felt… prophetic. I’m scared, Y/N, I can’t lose you.” 
You walked over to him, placing your hands on his cheeks and rubbing your thumbs over his cheekbones, hoping to calm him. “You won’t. It takes a lot to kill me, you know? Especially when I have you by my side.” 
Anakin nodded but you could tell he was unconvinced. 
“How about you talk to Obi-Wan about the dreams? He’s always helped you before.” You suggested. 
While normally this would be unthinkable, as it would expose your relationship, Anakin felt himself pulled toward the choice. Inwardly, he admitted that he could definitely use a friend right now. And Obi-Wan had always stood by him. Somehow, he just knew that now would be no different.  
------
Obi-Wan easily swung the door open with the Force before Anakin even had a chance to knock. He knew his former Padawan’s force signature like the back of his hand and had sensed his distress for days. Unbeknownst to Anakin, Obi-Wan had canceled his missions due to this, wanting to stay close for when Anakin eventually came to him for guidance. 
Obi-Wan looked up from his paperwork as he realized Anakin refused to come closer. Huddled behind the door frame, a conflicted and fearful look on his face, Obi-Wan was struck by how similar Anakin looked to the little boy he’d found on Tatooine all those years ago. Many nights, young Anakin would come into Obi-Wan’s room, plagued with nightmares. Just as before, Obi-Wan never turned him away. 
“Something’s troubling you.” 
Anakin sighed, taking a tentative step forward. “You know Master L/N?”
Obi-Wan smiled knowingly, having a sense of where this is going. “Yes, of course. A brilliant strategist, much like yourself.” 
“I…. I’m involved with them, Master.” 
“Involved?” Obi-Wan replied, with a quirked eyebrow.
“Please don’t punish Y/N for this, I know the Council frowns upon relationships. If you need to report it, I understand. But just report me, say they had nothing to do with it. But before you do anything please, Master, listen to what I must tell you. I wouldn’t unless it was absolutely necessary.” Anakin pleaded. 
“Anakin, I know.” 
“Yeah, I mean it truly is necessary-” 
Obi-Wan placed a comforting hand on the younger Jedi’s shoulder. “You misunderstand. I mean, I know.” 
Anakin’s eyes widened with realization before confusion filtered into his gaze. “But we were so careful!” 
“Not as much as you would think,” Obi-Wan said with a slight laugh.
“And you’re not upset?”
He sighed. “Being honest, I was a bit at first. Anakin, you know the rules and you can be so reckless at times! But how could I fault you for your own humanity? And I knew who you were when I met you. I was always aware of your compassion, your capacity for emotions.” Anakin nodded and smiled, but the faraway look in his eye never wavered. 
Clearing his voice, Obi-Wan continued. “Are you alright, Anakin?” 
“No.” The strength of the word shocked them both and caused Anakin to take a moment to compose himself. “They’re dying.”
Panic flashed through Obi-Wan’s expression. “They’re what? What happened? Was it a mission? Do the medics know? Is-” 
“- No, nothing… nothing yet. But it will.” While Obi-Wan didn’t exactly understand, he could tell through Anakin’s tone that his former Padawan believed this with his entire soul. 
“I’ve been having more nightmares.” Anakin said. 
“Like the ones with your mother?” 
Anakin nodded, his gaze muddled as his mind wove through every possibility on how to save you. Coming up with none, he looked up quickly, the lost confusion clear. 
“It’s going to be alright, Anakin. We’re going to do this together.” Obi-Wan offered, trying to comfort his friend. When Anakin nodded this time, his expression had more hope in it. Obi-Wan returned the gesture, tipping his head as Anakin walked out. Before Anakin reached the door, Obi-Wan called his name. 
“Talk to me if you feel troubled. About anything, my friend. And just know… it’s okay to feel afraid. And you’re no less a Jedi because you love them. At least, not in my eyes.” For the first time since he’d walked in the room, Anakin gave a true smile. His former Master inhaled deeply, realizing after hearing those words, Anakin looked more like himself than he had in a long while. 
----- 
A few hours and a Council meeting later, Anakin walked back into your chambers, closing the door with a huff. He wasn’t enraged, per se, but definitely conflicted. You approached him cautiously, heart falling when you saw those familiar clouds back in his eyes. 
“Did Obi-Wan not take it well?”
Anakin shook his head. “It’s not… he was supportive. But the Council has assigned something to me and…” He trailed off and looked at you. Only then did you see his bloodshot, puffy eyes. 
“What did they ask of you, Anakin?” You questioned, coming behind him to gently massage his tense shoulders. 
“I’m needed to spy on the Chancellor. Apparently there’s a Sith Lord somewhere in the Order. They suspect him.” He tried to keep his voice strong, but you could see how torn apart he was by the inflection in his tone. 
You took a breath and tried to process the information. “Will you do it?”
“I don’t know… if the Council tells me I must, then I must. But the Chancellor has only been good to me. I worry about betraying him but I don’t want to let down the Order. I’m not sure how to do this without causing someone harm.” He confessed. 
“They shouldn’t have put you in this position, it’s unfair. And you don’t have to, Ani. I know it feels like you do but you don’t need to bend to each of the Council’s requests. Whatever the fallout, whatever you choose, please know that I’m with you. And so is Obi-Wan. Not that it fixes anything, but at the very least, you’ll always have us.” 
Anakin turned around so he was facing you. “I don’t know what to do.” He whispered, voice laced with hopelessness. 
“Trust yourself. You have a good heart, intelligence, and strong morals. They’ve never failed you before.”
He nodded before leaning into you and your arms instinctively wrapped around him. Your fingertips found their way to his hair, gently weaving through the golden strands. 
“We’ll get through this, yeah?” While it was a question, you both knew you meant it as a statement.
“We’ll get through this.” Anakin echoed. He mumbled the words into your neck where he had buried his face. As if the words could seep into your skin. As if the hope could find its way to your heart and stay there, ever protected, ever true. 
-----
The next day, Anakin found himself in Palpatine’s office. He was wary, guarded. It was evident by the look on his eyes, the way he took a moment before taking another step. It was his training as both a Jedi and a General that allowed him to do this. The careful complexity of planning every move. 
“I heard the Council debating whether or not they should have made you a Master. It seems they do not trust you or value your talent as they should.” Palpatine’s words made Anakin freeze. Rationally, he knew this was wrong. At the very least, Obi-Wan trusts him and so do you. But there was a part of him that felt so validated by the Chancellor’s words that he wanted to hear more. To bask in them, in feeling wanted and appreciated. He hated himself for it. 
“I… I’m not sure what you mean by this.” Anakin attempted not to give himself away any more than he already has. 
“Well, they care about your potential. But they hold you back. They’ll never show you your true power, for they don’t want you to understand. They just wish to use it, no matter your own fate.” 
“I feel cast aside. Like I don’t matter.” Anakin wasn’t even sure why he shared these words. Somehow, in feeling so praised, the doubts just bubbled their way to the surface. He felt like a child in these moments, so painfully fragile. 
“You don’t. Not to them, Anakin. But with me I can teach you your power. I can teach you the ways of the Dark Side. I know of your fears, of those nightmares that plague you. I know about your secret marriage and how close you are to losing it all.” 
Anakin froze, his heart hammering in his chest. His thoughts raced as he tried to piece together the truth from all the lies. The mentions of Darth Plagueis. The Dark Side of the Force. 
“You’re the Sith Lord!” Anakin said, igniting his lightsaber and pointing it at the older man’s chest. 
Palpatine bowed his head slightly, a small smile gracing his lips. “Well done, my boy.” Anakin felt sick as he noted the pride in his tone. And yet that aching part inside him still swelled, ever so slightly.
“Now, don’t do anything rash.” The Chancellor reasoned. “Only the Dark Side can save the one you love.” 
Anakin wanted to do the right thing. He wished to be the one who could stand up and arrest Palpatine without a single ounce of guilt or regret. But as soon as Palpatine mentioned you, it’s like all his logic disappeared. He just wanted to save you, to not fail you as he’d failed his mother. But then he thought back to your words. “Strong morals.” And to his Master’s. “We’ll do this together.”
“I’m turning you into the Council.” 
“Wouldn’t you prefer to kill me?”
“Yes.” Anakin’s remark was forceful and clipped with anger.
“Then do it. Give yourself over to your wrath.”
He felt himself burning with betrayal, with resentment toward both sides. Even so, he could still tell right from wrong, selfless from selfish. And whatever Palpatine was doing… it certainly did not have the will of the people in mind. Without so much as deigning him with another response, Anakin turned and walked out of the room.
“If you turn me in, you’ll never save them!” Anakin tried to will Palpatine’s voice out of his head as he ventured back to the Council chambers. When he arrived back, he decided to slightly alter his plans. While he knew he must face all of them eventually, he wanted to talk to Obi-Wan first. Perhaps his Master could give him guidance, like he did about your nightmares. 
“General Skywalker… are you alright?” Anakin stumbled as he walked right into another figure, too caught up in his own head.
“I’m fine, Master Windu. Thank you- I’m sorry.” Mace looked at the younger Jedi with an unreadable expression. While there was much in his eyes, concern was definitely a part of it. 
“Have you seen Master Kenobi?” Anakin said after a brief pause for composure. 
“He’s supposed to leave for his next mission any moment now. If you hurry, you can probably still catch him.” 
Anakin thanked Master Windu before taking off in a run. No matter how fast his legs carried him, he felt his mind was working even faster, the internal conflict brewing more intently by the second. 
-----
Obi-Wan opened the door as soon as before Anakin could even knock. He looked at Anakin and gestured at a vacant chair, a silent invitation to sit. Anakin shook his head quickly. The younger Jedi’s eyes were scattered and conflicted, as if he’d been shaken to his very core. 
“Palpatine is the Sith Lord.” The words came out rushed, yet clear. As if Anakin needed to get them out as quickly as he could but replayed them in his head until they were all he knew. The intensity showed Obi-Wan that there was no doubt in his friend’s mind. 
Obi-Wan blinked. “Okay.” He stroked his beard, trying to find the words to say. “Are you alright?”
Anakin looked at Obi-Wan in confusion. Certainly there were more important questions his former Master would want to ask than that. 
“I know you and the Chancellor were close. This can’t be easy for you. I just wanted to ask if you were alright.” 
“I’m not sure.” Anakin said after some hesitation. “I don’t really know what to think… Palpatine is evil, right? But he believed in me when no one else did. He saw my potential, allowed me to confide in him. He told me he could show me how to save Y/N. Would someone evil do that?” 
Obi-Wan’s eyes softened as he looked at the painfully conflicted young man in front of him. “Anakin… he was manipulating you. He was isolating you so you had no one to turn to but him. It was a tactic, a ploy. He doesn’t care for you.” Anakin looked so heartbroken that Obi-Wan knew Anakin believed him. “I’m so sorry.” 
“But what about Y/N?” Anakin asked desperately.
Obi-Wan sighed. “Loving someone in the Order isn’t easy. Especially after everything you’ve gone through. And losing someone… it changes the way you love. You fear constantly, wondering when your love will evade you. When it will fall apart, like all the rest. But living like that, loving like that… it leaves no room for growth or peace. And that’s what relationships are for, aren’t they?” His voice was filled with compassion and wisdom. From experience, perhaps? Regardless of the reason, Anakin was reminded that someone did understand him. Despite the circumstances, he felt content. At least a bit. 
“Is there any way to save them?”
“I’m not sure. Let’s focus on Palpatine for now, alright? And we’ll bring Master L/N with us so you know they’re safe.” Obi-Wan wished nothing more than having a set solution to save Y/N. But some things were even out of his grasp. “I know this must be impossible for you, Anakin. I truly am sorry.” 
Anakin nodded. After all, it was true. If there was anything to describe the impending threat of losing another person he loved, impossible summed up the process. “I know. You’re doing all you can. Thank you, Master. And yes, I would like to bring them with us.” 
Obi-Wan clasped a hand to Anakin’s shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze as they met each other with a smile. “I’ll send them a message right now.”
----
You gasped when you received Obi-Wan’s message with the details of the Supreme Chancellor’s truth. Your heart cried for Anakin, knowing the betrayal must be breaking him. All you could do was wish that with Obi-Wan’s help, the two of you could support Anakin until he felt like he could breathe again. And you had faith in him. You always had faith in him. 
Grabbing your cloak, you jogged to Obi-Wan’s quarters. As soon as you opened the door, you ran to Anakin and hugged him to you, needing to feel his presence. Somehow, you knew he needed it, too. 
“Ready?” Anakin and Obi-Wan gave you nods of confirmation and you gave a tentative smile. “Alright. Let’s do this.” 
-----
Anakin entered Palpatine’s chambers first. For once, he felt sure of himself. He finally knew what he had to do. His gaze shifted to you, making sure you were alright. You placed a hand on his arm, rubbing your thumb up and down to reassure him. He inhaled. Exhaled. And ignited his saber. 
“I knew you’d come back, Skywalker. I knew you’d join me.” 
“Think again.” Obi-Wan responded as you and him walked into the chambers. Pure, unfiltered rage flickered through Palpatine’s eyes in response.
“Anakin, they’re trying to corrupt you. They’re trying to keep your power. Come with me, boy, and I’ll teach you all you wish to know. I’ll teach you how to save them.” He said, pointing a pale finger toward your face. 
You let out a sharp breath as you suddenly understood Anakin’s conflict. Of course Palpatine was using you as a bargaining chip. Using Anakin’s fear of abandonment, of losing his loved ones against him. It was disgusting, even for a Sith. 
“I… you can’t possibly know how to do that. It’s impossible!” 
“Not on the Dark Side. Look… Obi-Wan has turned them against you. He’s the cause of this! I’m sure he didn’t even pose a solution to saving Y/N. It’s because he doesn’t care about you, not like I do.” 
The shadows returned to Anakin’s eyes as his gaze switched between Obi-Wan and Palpatine. He couldn’t even bring himself to look at you, to see the pain in your eyes as he struggled with a choice that for others would be so simple. He hated himself for being weak but he truly couldn’t fathom losing you. 
Obi-Wan stepped forward, backing Palpatine against the wall and pointing his lightsaber at Palpatine’s throat. Anakin stepped back, too frozen to move, and unconsciously placed himself between them and you.
“It’s over, Chancellor. Don’t make this more difficult than it already is.” Obi-Wan said.
Palpatine shot lightning from his hands, causing Obi-Wan to deflect the matter with his lightsaber, redirecting it to Palpatine himself. As Palpatine shook from the force of his own blast, he once again called to Anakin.
“If you let him kill me, dear boy, Y/N will die. If you don’t try to save them, you will be the cause of their death.” 
Anakin’s eyes widened, those words hitting him right in the chest. He moved forward, pointing his lightsaber at Obi-Wan but refusing to make the final cut to end his life. Obi-Wan looked like he wanted to speak but the effort of holding of Palpatine’s lightning rendered him useless. It was Obi-Wan, after all. His former Master, his friend. The one person who he trusted with the secret of his marriage. He couldn’t kill him, right? He faltered, stepping slightly back. 
“Ani,” You said, your voice calm as you tried to reason with him. “Ani if you do this, you can’t come back from it. I know you don’t want to lose me and if you kill Obi-Wan, you will, regardless of the fate of my life. You aren’t too far gone, yet. You haven’t done anything irredeemable. Remember who you are, my love.” 
Anakin heard your words and looked at your face. You. He wanted to do good by you, to do good by all of them. He wanted to make his mother proud, make himself feel like leaving her for the Jedi Order meant something. And then his gaze filtered over to his friend. Obi-Wan stood tall against the force of Palpatine’s lightning, reminding Anakin of his friend’s strength. It was something Anakin wanted to emulate, too. 
Understanding his choice, Anakin took a step forward to position the blade toward Palpatine’s chest. His hand was shaking, movements unsure, eyes glossed over with immeasurable pain. But before he could make contact, you swiftly moved in front of him and killed Palpatine instead. Obi-Wan was thrust backward as the lightning ceased, chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. 
“Why would you do that?” Anakin asked as he looked at you. 
“I didn’t want you to have to kill your friend. No matter what he turned out to be.” You said as you shifted on the balls of your feet. The weight of Palpatine’s death now weighed on your soul, as do those of every life you’ve ever ended. You could bear it and you knew Anakin was strong enough to do so, as well. You just didn’t want him to have to. 
Anakin nodded and whispered a thank you back to you. You just smiled, the love for him clear in your expression. Anakin turned around, walking to his friend and extending a hand for him. 
“I never doubted you.” Obi-Wan said simply as he met Anakin’s guilty eyes. 
“I should have made the choice to believe you earlier. I shouldn’t have let him get to me. I’m sorry, Master.” 
“Look at me, Anakin. We all struggle with our morals. We struggle and we’re unsure and we pray and hope to land on the right decision. And you did. You have nothing to apologize for.” Looking at your and Anakin’s arms around each other, Obi-Wan made one last decision. “How about the two of you retire for the evening? I’ll debrief with the Council, you’ve been through enough.” 
Once again, Anakin was struck by the older Jedi’s strength and selflessness. He nodded, as did you, before he accompanied you back to your quarters. 
----
You kept one arm around Anakin’s waist the entire way home, mirroring his that was around your shoulders. You couldn’t bear to separate, not after the events of the past few days. Seeing Anakin so torn up inside, it was eating away at you. Knowing you couldn’t save him was one of the hardest things you’ve ever had to deal with. 
Now, Palpatine was finally gone. There was no more threat to the Jedi Order, the Force once again balanced. But both of you still understood the one solution that hadn't been found: how to save you. It made everything easier, that you chose to kill the Chancellor. Anakin refused to voice the doubts in his head, wondering if he actually would have gone through with it knowing he would lose his chance at saving you. 
The air was melancholic surrounding you both. Heavy. Neither of you knew what to say, words failing in a moment that was so conflicted it almost overwhelmed you. But your heart warmed as you saw Anakin scamper in front of you to open and hold the door for you. You loved him so much, for doing the little things even in moments like these. It gave you hope.
You were okay with death, so long as it only affected you. When you joined the Jedi, you had to make your peace with it. But after you fell in love everything changed. You didn’t want Anakin to go through the pain of losing you. He’d been so open with you about, well, everything. Especially his past. He’d gone through so much, felt such raw pain and loss, you didn’t want to add to that. 
Taking his hands in yours, you looked into his blue eyes. 
“I don’t want you to die.” He whispered, the desperate, deflated tone making your heart break. “I won’t.” You wished to say, but you knew you couldn’t. 
“I don’t want to die, either.” You chose these words instead, relying on their honesty. 
“Palpatine could have saved you.” Anakin said after a beat. 
You sighed. “You don’t know that.” You stated, knowing it wouldn’t change how he felt. 
“Neither do you!” 
“But at what cost? At the cost of losing your soul? Anakin, you would have had to join the Sith! That’s no longer you! You’re good and you couldn’t have saved me if you were there, don’t you see that?” You pleaded. You wished he would see your logic, the truth behind your words. How even though he thought otherwise, he made the right decision. 
“What good is saving the Order if you won’t be a part of it?”
“What good is saving my life if I wouldn’t have you to live it with?” You countered. 
Anakin let out an exhausted breath before pulling you into him, hugging you. The fighting was too much and, frankly, he didn’t want to argue. Not with you, not ever. You both let out a humorless chuckle as you leaned into each other. 
“I love you.” His tone conveyed it all. 
“I love you.” You replied, your voice muffled from being pressed into his robes. 
“Can we sleep? I don’t want to face this right now. Can we just put this aside, if just for a moment? Can I lay with you and can you hold me and can we just have each other?” You questioned breathlessly.
“I would like nothing more, my love.” He smiled slightly and pressed a kiss to your head as he added the words of endearment, wanting you to understand he wasn’t upset with you. You already knew that, though. You were in love with Anakin Skywalker. Of course you’d argue from time to time. But at the end of the day, you were two hopelessly in love Jedi just trying to save each other. 
Crawling into bed, sleep came for the both of you quickly. You were holding him and he was holding you, tangled together as you nestled his warm embrace. He tucked his face into your neck as you did so and savored the feel of you next to him. Safe. 
Drifting off, Anakin tried to fight the pull of sleep, knowing he’d just suffer from another nightmare like he had every day since the first one. One where you’d die and he could do nothing to stop it. Amidst these tumultuous thoughts, his breathing evened, lulling him under. 
You were in the grass, a flower crown atop your head. Anakin was leaning against a small house. It was quaint but beautiful. Small, not outwardly flashy, but full of love and meaning. Looking around, he smiled as he saw green vines crawling up the sides of the house, a garden of your favorite flowers out front. You always had a soft spot for that. 
We are on Naboo, he realized. It was peaceful. It was the dream you always talked of together. Anakin’s breath caught as he felt the certainty of this dream. It felt just like his nightmares, except this one left him content. He didn’t want to entertain the thought for too long, afraid of jinxing it. But he knew it was prophetic. He wasn’t sure how he changed his fate, what exactly gave him this future. Something inside him just knew that when he wakes up the next morning, all will be okay. He felt infinitely lighter as he understood the threat was gone. 
When you looked up and saw him, you raced toward him and jumped into his arms. Anakin stumbled but caught you, breathing in your scent as you kissed the side of his neck. As he held you, his thoughts slightly wandered. But he was grounded by your presence, reminding him that you were safe and he was okay. With you, he was finally, completely, home.
-----
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jessikahathaway · 3 years
Text
Baby Talk - Part II
Tumblr media
Pairing: Jikook X Reader (Jimin X Reader X Jungkook)
Genre: Surrogacy!AU, Polyamorous!AU, Romance. (Future Smut)
Warnings: Profanity, medical procedures, pining (Like a stupid amount but what can ya do), Joon and Jin get protective, mentions of pregnancy symptoms. (If I forgot anything please let me know!)
Words: 10.5k (I guess I'm committing to long chapters lol)
You’d hit the four week mark, and not much had happened yet.
Despite you feeling like your hormones were on a swing.
Jimin was bewildered when he came into the bathroom to find you crying on the floor. Trying to comfort you went downhill quickly because soon you were mad that he was joking around. Then you were crying again, apologizing for being so harsh.
Up and down and up and down.
But they never got mad at you. Never yelled at you and never ignored you. But you forced your emotions down deep into your heart. A place that would be locked and the key thrown away. Because you knew what was happening, and it simply couldn’t happen.
It was late and you could feel your stomach begging for something to eat. You’d gotten really hungry lately, no doubt your body trying to accommodate for the new life you were growing inside of you.
So, you hurried to the kitchen under the guise of night and made some rice and a little bit of stir fry. You put together everything, making sure not to make too much, and started cooking.
It was around three in the morning when you sat down at the table and ate your food, looking through your phone with a bored expression. Nothing interesting on social media and YouTube videos were only entertaining for so long. So, you ate your food and cleaned up before starting to head back towards your room.
Then, a large flash went off in the sky, causing you to jolt and look out into the city. Rain was pelting against the window, sounding sharp to your ears. It was a little intimidating.
Then the loud crash of thunder rang through the house.
You yelped at the noise, covering your ears in fear. You’d never particularly liked thunderstorms, but this one was coming in hot and aggressive. You pulled your hands away from your ears, just trying to focus on getting back to your room when another flash lit up the room. Your heart was hammering in your chest and you started to sweat.
Before you could think too much about it you were knocking on Jungkook and Jimin’s door. Another crash of thunder roared through the house and you swear you felt the floor shake. You whimpered in fear and fidgeted with the hem of your shirt. Did they hear you? Or was the storm too loud? Should you go in? What if they weren’t decent?
Jimin had said you could go in if something was wrong...
But did being scared of a thunderstorm count?
FLASH.
BANG.
You couldn’t take it anymore and you burst through the door with tears in your eyes. Fear causing you to shake violently.
Jimin and Jungkook both bolted up in bed at the sound of the door slamming open, and were out of bed instantly at the sight of you shaking on the floor.
“Y/N? What’s going on? Are you alright? Are you hurt?” Jungkook’s worried voice echoed in your ear.
“She’s trembling,” Jimin said, rubbing your back.
“I-I I’m sc-”
FLASH.
BANG.
You cried and flung your arms around Jungkook’s neck, burying your face in his chest, tears streaming down your face as you shook violently. Jungkook looked at Jimin in shock and a little bit of his own fear, but Jimin just took his hand and placed it on your head.
‘Comfort her,’ Jimin mouthed.
Jungkook nodded before rubbing your hip soothingly.
“What’s wrong Y/N? Is it the storm?” He asked, bringing his other hand to your shoulder.
“Y-Yes,” you whimpered, keeping your face buried in Jungkook’s neck.
“It’s alright, Jimin and I got you. You’ll be safe,” Jungkook promised.
Jimin rubbed soothing circles onto your back as the two of them tried to ease your frantic heart. Both of them knowing it can’t be good for the baby. But, also, on you. The stress of carrying a baby was already a lot, the fear of this thunderstorm wasn’t a good addition.
Soon, you had cried yourself to sleep.
Jimin took you in his arms, picking you up and Jungkook followed after him as they headed for your room.
The couple laid you down in bed, brushing your face tenderly. Jungkook watched as Jimin covered you up, bringing the sheets right up under your chin. He smiled at the soft pout on your lips, he wondered if the baby would have your cute pout.
Jimin, moved your hair away from your eyes, tucking it behind your ear gently. When he was certain you were settled he took Jungkook’s hand and headed back to their bedroom.
“God, that scared the fuck out of me,” Jungkook said, sitting down on the side of the bed.
“Me too,” Jimin agreed, rubbing his face in exhaustion.
“Didn’t know she was that scared of storms, makes me want to beat up the sky for scaring her like that,” Jungkook said, frowning.
Jimin laughed lightly, but kissed his boyfriend lovingly. “I know you would if you could, or at the very least, sue it,” he snorted.
“Ooh, yeah, that could work,” Jungkook said.
“I’d never seen her like that, so vulnerable. She always puts up such a tough exterior,” Jimin said, biting his lip.
“Yeah, maybe it shows that she’s starting to trust us. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to live with two people who are kinda strangers to her,” Jungkook said, feeling awkward.
“Well, maybe we can fix that,” Jimin reasoned.
“What do you have in mind my stunningly attractive boyfriend?” Jungkook asked, leaning forward.
“Mmm, let’s take her shopping. Spoil her a bit, you’ve got more zeros in your bank account than I can count on all of my fingers. She’s gonna need maternity clothes anyways. Imagine her all dressed in Gucci and Prada while walking around pregnant with our baby,” Jimin said, appearing to be day dreaming himself.
“That would be... nice... To spoil her, show her we care about her well being and everything,” Jungkook nodded in agreement.
“Let’s do it,” Jimin said, gripping Jungkook’s hands.
“Okay, yeah!”
Unfortunately for the couple, you appeared to be hating every second of this shopping excursion.
“Y/N! Come on,” Jungkook said, walking with Jimin’s hand interlocked with his.
“Coming, coming,” you sighed, following after them.
“Y/N? Are you alright? Do you need a break?” Jimin asked, stopping to take a look at you.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just, sleepy,” you grumbled.
The boys had effectively cut off your caffeine intake as of late, and it was showing. You were more exhausted than ever, just wanting to sleep the day away, but the two men wanting to hear nothing of it today. Normally they would’ve just let you sleep, but, today was a different story.
Jimin bit his lip and looked at Jungkook with concern.
You didn’t seem to be having fun at all.
What was the point in spoiling you if you were just gonna wind up pissed off at the end of it? But maybe you just hadn’t found something you wanted yet. Jimin didn’t want to lose faith so early on, but you really were in a grumpy mood today.
Jungkook pointed out several different kinds of stores, suggesting different ones and you merely told them that whatever they wanted was fine. Feeling defeated already, Jimin told Jungkook to pick a store and maybe you’d find something you wanted in there.
Soon, you were in some high end designer store, looking around with a bored expression on your face. Most girls loved when you spoiled them, wanting nothing more than to have free reign with a credit card and a whole shopping mall. But you looked so fragile and out of place in this big store.
Jungkook looked around and found some things he wanted, Jimin too, but you were still sitting on the bench, head in your hand and looking tired.
The couple looked at each other, wondering what in the world they could do to make you smile. All they wanted to do was spoil you, make you feel better...
“Are you two with the young lady over there,” the store attendant asked, pointing at you with genuine curiosity.
“Ah, yes, she’s with us,” Jimin confirmed.
“I take it she’s not really into the whole shopping experience,” the attendant said, and the couple nodded sadly.
“We just wanted to spoil her, take her out and get her stuff she wanted. But it looks like she’d rather die than be here right now,” Jungkook said, frowning.
“Well, what are some things that she likes?” The shop attendant asked.
“Books,” both of them said quickly.
The attendant laughed at them softly, nodding.
“My wife is a fan of books too, sometimes I wonder if she likes them more than me. But, you said you want to spoil her right? Tell her that, explain what you’re doing, sometimes that helps,” he offered.
Jimin nodded, looking over at your sleepy figure in the corner of the store.
“It’s worth a shot,” he said.
The pair thanked the shop attendant for his time and headed towards you.
You looked up and tried to give the couple a smile, but it looked awkward and forced, making them frown even more. Jungkook sat down next to you, and Jimin kneeled in front of you.
“Y/N, do you know why we forced you out of your blankety cocoon today?” Jimin asked, looking at you with curiosity.
“You said you wanted to take me shopping,” you said, gazing back at him.
“Exactly, we wanted to take you shopping. Not just shop for ourselves and drag you around. We want to spoil you, give you whatever you want. All you have to do is ask and you can have it, Y/N, money isn’t an issue here,” Jimin said.
Biting your lip you felt yourself get uncomfortable. “I-I don’t really like being spoiled, you know? I um... It makes me feel weird,” you said, rubbing your neck.
“The last thing we wanted to do was make you upset,” Jungkook said, biting his lip.
“No I’m not upset I just feel awkward,” you explained.
“Oh, there’s no need to feel awkward Y/N, it’s just us,” Jimin reassured.
“People keep staring at us, like I’m some lame friend third wheeling on a date,” you sighed, rubbing your face.
Jimin and Jungkook both swallowed hard.
They hadn’t realized people were staring. But it would make sense, Jimin and Jungkook were known in the city and suddenly a girl is walking around with them? That did seem a bit odd. They were also regulars in this mall and no doubt the staff were looking too.
God, they had messed this whole day up.
“Oh Y/N, we’re sorry,” Jungkook said, pressing his hands to his face.
“Sorry? Sorry for what?” You asked, turning to look at him with confusion.
“Not including you,” Jimin explained.
“There’s no need to include me-” you started when Jungkook cut you off quickly.
“Yes there is, you’re carrying our baby, we want you to feel comfortable and safe. Not ignored and shut out, that’s not fair to you,” he said, brushing his hair away from his face.
“Yeah, we want you to have whatever you want. As long as it isn’t unhealthy for you or the baby,” Jimin said.
“This isn’t about flexing or whatever on other people, this is about you. And what you want,” Jungkook said.
“Well,” you said, worrying your lip with your teeth.
“Yes?” Jimin said, leaning forward.
“It’s, well, I guess some new clothes wouldn’t be bad. I’ll need maternity stuff,” you told them.
“Yes! Absolutely! We can do that!” Jimin said, standing up and pulling you with him.
However, it was a little too fast for you, causing your head to spin. Jungkook was steadying you with his warm palms on your waist, Jimin keeping you upright with his hands around your wrists.
“Sorry Y/N! I-I wasn’t thinking and I got so excited, sorry,” Jimin frowned at himself.
“It’s alright,” you said, not wanting him to be upset over something that didn’t really matter.
“I need to be more gentle with you, you’re carrying our baby for Christ sakes,” Jimin huffed.
You nodded, noticing the stern look on Jimin’s face. Licking your dry lips, you looked down at your feet. You were only a month along so you couldn’t really see anything yet. But knowing there was a life inside of you made you feel a little flutter in your chest every time you thought about it.
However, you needed to get that under control.
This wasn’t your baby.
And that’s just how it was going to be.
Jimin and Jungkook had managed to drag you into a designer store for mothers apparently, because everything in here looked like it was worth a fortune. How were you supposed to pick something and wear it when you were afraid it was gonna get dirty? For fucksake you were almost certain they would be ruined by the end of this pregnancy.
“Ooh! Y/N, pink is your color,” Jimin smiled, holding up a rose colored blouse at you.
Looking down you saw small daisies printed on the shirt as well. It was cute, you had to give him that. You agreed to try it on, but only if he promised not to show you the price tag. Jimin nodded quickly.
Jungkook came around the corner, carrying a couple different articles of clothing. Mainly dresses, as they would be a comfortable and easy choice. But there were some skirts and blouses in his arms too. After finding the ones you liked the three of you were sent to the dressing rooms.
Jimin and Jungkook waited outside on the bench, demanding a fashion show from you. You rolled your eyes, but didn’t say no before you headed in and tried on a couple of outfits.
You walked out and did a little spin every time, Jungkook and Jimin giving their opinions. Which were always small claps with whistles accompanying them.
Then you walked out in a shorter green sundress that you had managed to grab on the shelf without looking at the tag, thank God. It was green with splashes of turquoise and white that made your eyes pop beautifully. There was a cutout at the top that showed a little bit of cleavage but it wasn’t an insane amount. Nothing you thought anything of anyways.
It came to your knees, and it was generous with the room in it. No doubt when you were showing it would come up to your mid thigh. Fluffing your hair you walked out and smiled at the boys. Jungkook’s eyes trailed down your body. This was the first non maxi dress you’d tried on, even the skirts had been considerably modest. So, they were getting the first glimpse at your skin.
Jimin was stunned.
You were absolutely gorgeous. A vision.
Legs looking gorgeous and long, skirt fluttering around your knees but Jimin couldn’t help imagine you when you were showing a little more. Would it ride up higher? Clearing his throat he smiles at you.
“It looks really good, Y/N, I didn’t pick this one. Did you Kook?” Jimin said, turning to his boyfriend, who seemed to still be in a stupor.
“Jungkook?” You said, looking at the doe eyed man with a little bit of worry pinching your features.
“Yes? No, it-you look amazing Y/N, did you pick this out?” He asked you.
“I did, yeah,” you answered.
“Little sneak, do you really want to stop our hearts?” Jimin teased.
Blushing you brushed your hair behind your ear and stared at your shoes. Jungkook looked at you with so much longing it made Jimin’s heart stammer. Not out of jealousy, but something else. Jimin shook the thought from his head.
Soon you were all settled back in the car, several shopping bags in the back. Jimin and Jungkook had requested a driver today, wanting to just enjoy the experience. So, the driver dutifully drove while the three of you sat in the back.
You looked out the window and watched scenery pass you by. Jimin and Jungkook looked at you, each with a similar look on their face and similar feelings in their chest. But neither of them were brave enough to admit it to themselves. Not when they almost had everything they’ve ever wanted, or what they thought they wanted...
Getting out of the car, Jimin asked the driver to have the bags delivered up to their apartment. The driver nodded before disappearing.
The three of you made your way up to the apartment, but not before Jimin and Jungkook spilled that they had a surprise for you. Looking at them with a menacing glare, Jungkook broke first as you three made it into the entryway of the apartment.
“It’s nothing crazy, just... We didn’t want you feeling like the third wheel or, you know, not a part of this. You are just as important to us as the baby you are carrying, and while you’re with us we want you happy and... so we got you this,” Jungkook said, holding out the signature blue box that made your stomach churn with how much it must’ve cost.
“Please, don’t ask how much it cost. It doesn’t matter as long as it makes you happy,” Jimin whispered.
Slowly, you opened the box and a beautiful moon pendant sparkling in diamonds and white gold stared at you. You damn near dropped the thing because of how gorgeous it was. Jungkook and Jimin froze on the spot when they saw tears starting to fall down your face.
“Do you not like it?” Jimin asked.
“Is it too much? Did we go overboard?” Jungkook worried.
“N-No, it’s beautiful,” you said, touching the pendant with a delicate finger.
“Do you want to put it on?” Jungkook asked, hoping to God that you didn’t throw this pendant back in their faces.
“Yes, please,” you said, handing Jungkook the back and brushing your hair out of the way so he had access.
Slowly, you watched as the beautiful moon swung just above your cleavage, kissing your chest lightly. It was fastened behind your neck and you turned around, looking at the two men with a bright smile on your face.
Then, they held up their wrists.
A sun and a star.
You looked and saw it was all a matching set.
“You guys, you really,” you said, smiling softly.
“Honestly, Y/N, you’re our equal in this. You aren’t just a womb we’re renting,” Jimin said. “You’re a person, with wants and feelings and we want you to feel that. More than anything, we want you happy and safe.”
“We’re so thrilled you chose us, seriously. If there’s anything you want, anything you need, name it, we’ll get it for you. Scouts honor,” Jungkook said, holding up his hand.
Feeling an overwhelming sense of emotion, more tears ran down your cheeks, making you sniffle and wipe at them with irritation. You didn’t want to cry right now, you were happy! Now, you just looked like a snotty red mess.
“Aw, don’t cry Y/N!” Jungkook said, coming forward to wipe your tears.
“God you guys are such turds, making me cry all the time,” you sniffled.
“It’s not our fault!” Jimin said.
“It is very much your fault,” you said, holding your stomach gently.
A rush of air left the two of them at you doing something so maternal. It made Jungkook’s blood burst into flames, and Jimin had to swallow a moan at the knowledge of you being pregnant with his baby. You cocked your head to the side and looked at the two silent men.
“Okay, well... Thanks for today you two... I’m glad I got to be spoiled a little bit. I’m gonna go take a shower, are we ordering out for dinner tonight?” You asked. They were still silent and you wondered what the fuck broke them when Jimin blinked rapidly a few times before clearing his throat.
“Y-You’re welcome, if you want to go again just tell us and we can,” he said, fighting to keep his calm exterior.
“Okay, I’m gonna go take a shower then,” you said again, taking off towards the stairs.
Jungkook damn near collapsed on the floor when you were finally gone.
“Jesus,” he said, panting hard.
“Do you, do you feel it too?” Jimin asked, gazing at the area where you had been standing.
“Yeah,” Jungkook croaked.
“Fuck what’s wrong with us? She’s here for us to care for her, to nurture her, not use her like some object,” Jimin said, running his hands through his hair in frustration.
Jungkook rubbed his shoulders, trying to soothe his boyfriend’s frantic thoughts. He agreed. You weren’t someone for them to use and abuse... You were the mother of their child and you deserved to be respected. But God if the thought of you didn’t send their minds spiraling.
“I know... We just gotta tough it out I guess. What else can we do?” Jungkook reasoned.
“I don’t know Kook, I don’t know,” Jimin said, gripping his boyfriend’s hand tightly.
The six week mark came and so did the morning sickness. To start, it was just waves of nausea, but soon it turned into full blown vomiting.
It was around seven in the morning and you had barely slept a wink. You felt jittery and restless, unable to relax. But when you sat up to head to the kitchen for something to eat, your stomach flipped. Soon, you were in the bathroom getting sick in the toilet.
Shortly you heard a knocking at the door.
“Y/N? Sweetie are you alright?” Jimin’s worried voice echoed through the door.
“Yeah,” you wheezed, trying to keep yourself from hurling again.
“Can I come in?” His light tone echoed through the room.
“Yeah,” you said, feeling another rush of nausea washing over you as he comes in. You looked and saw his worried face come into focus.
“Oh sweetheart,” Jimin said, rubbing your back as you got sick once more.
“Jimin? Y/N?” Jungkook’s voice echoed in the apartment.
“We’re in the bathroom Kook!” Jimin yelled.
Shortly Jungkook’s footsteps came into the bathroom. He was frowning, knowing you must be uncomfortable and there wasn’t much he could do for you. Watching Jimin rub your back gave him a sense of comfort however.
You were struggling with your chest being tender also. Every time you moved against the toilet you felt a jolt of pain go down your spine. Wincing when you came back up, Jimin had gotten you a little cup of water. You swished the cool liquid around before spitting it out and standing up slowly, per Jimin’s instructions.
You brushed your teeth and told the boys you were alright. They left and you did the rest of your morning routine. Jimin came back into your room and asked if you were ready for breakfast. You nodded and let Jimin lead you to the kitchen table. Jimin, taking note of your poor start to the day, asked if you wanted anything in particular for breakfast. Thinking back you really enjoyed the Nutella and banana toast he made for you a while back.
He nodded and started the toaster quickly. Jungkook had been working overtime recently and had to leave shortly after your bathroom incident. Soon, two pieces of Nutella toast with bananas were placed in front of you.
But the second the smell of banana hit your nose, you were scrunching up your face in disgust. Jimin looked at you with confusion. Then it dawned on him: food sensitivity.
Quickly removing the plate he asked if anything else sounded good, and you came up with the weird combination that was scrambled eggs with cream cheese.
Jimin looked on with a light smile on his face as you scarfed down the eggs and cream cheese without a single nose scrunch. It always made him happy to see you eating. Keeping up your health for the sake of the baby and you made him happy.
Soon, you were done and Jimin had gone into the living room to watch some TV when you noticed him sitting there. Lounging on the couch was a normal thing, but, looking at him now you-you couldn’t put your finger on it. He just looked so good, sitting there. He’d recently redid his hair so it was a beautiful blond color. His eyes wandered from the television to you, standing there in your loose t-shirt and pajama shorts.
He licked his lips for a moment, but that was all it took for you.
The flash of his tongue made you slightly weak in the knees, causing you to grip the edge of the table for support. Jimin seemed to mistake this for a more serious problem as he was up in a matter of seconds to come to your side.
“Y/N? What’s the matter?” He asked, looking at you with concern.
“I-I’m good,” you said, giving him a thumbs up. “I think I just ate too fast.”
Jimin mulled this over in his head for a moment before nodding and stepping back.
“As long as you’re okay,” he said, heading back towards the couch.
But your symptoms weren’t just limited to food sensitivity, morning sickness and random bouts of arousal, oh no... The best one was the nightmares that had taken over your sleep schedule.
Normally they were just vague things that you forgot about when you woke up. But they were becoming more vivid. More, unsettling.
You were dreaming being in pools of blood, sometimes it was yours, sometimes it belonged to the boys. Sometimes you didn’t know where it came from, but it was always there. Never to be washed away, only to drown in...
You were caught up in the throes of a particularly bad nightmare...
You’d miscarried and lost the baby, Jimin and Jungkook were heartbroken and left you bleeding out on the floor as you stared up into the ceiling, dying.
The room was tilted and everything was wobbly.
You tried to go after them, to ask for another chance. But it was too late, they were gone.
Screaming, you bolted up in your bed. Tears flowing down your cheeks at a rapid rate. Your heart was hammering in your chest so loud you swore you could feel it in your throat.
You heard the slamming of a door and soon Jimin and Jungkook barged into your room, looking around frantically until they found you on your bed, shaking and crying into your hands.
“Y/N!” They yelled, going to your sides and trying to get you to talk to them.
“Sweetie, what happened? Why did you scream?” Jimin asked, petting your hair trying to soothe you.
“I-I had a nightmare, I-I lost the baby and, then lost you two,” you whimpered, covering your face again.
Jungkook swallowed thickly, the image of you crying being burned into his memory. He hated seeing you like this. It hurt him to see you so distraught. Jimin, too, was struggling with your emotions. He just wanted you happy and healthy, free from any worry and troubles of the real world. But of course, he couldn’t protect you from everything and everyone. No matter how much he wanted to.
“Y/N, it’s okay. We’re right here, we aren’t going anywhere,” said Jungkook. You were crying violently, looking at the bed spread with blurred vision. Jimin looked at Jungkook with worry written all over his features, your smaller frame sat shaking in the bed as the two males tried to comfort you.
Jungkook hesitantly reached out to wipe the tears from your face. You looked up at the man with puffy cheeks and swollen eyes, before glancing back down at your lap.
“You aren’t going to lose us, Y/N,” Jimin reassured.
“I’m scared,” you whispered, so broken that it had both of their eyes tearing up at the sound.
“It’s alright, we’re scared too,” Jimin said, patting your hair gently. “But we’ll get through this.”
“There was so much blood,” you whimpered, biting your lip trying to keep the sobs from coming out.
“Y/N,” Jungkook said, feeling his eyes burning with unshed tears of his own.
“I was dying and you just... left me there,” you confessed.
“We could never leave you just like that Y/N, ever,” Jimin said, sounding shocked.
“We’d never forgive ourselves if something happened to you,” Jungkook whispered.
Jimin grabbed his hand, rubbing his fingers over the knuckles. He knew seeing you like this was hard on both of them, and knowing how much you truly didn’t think they cared was also hurtful. Because all they wanted was to tell you you didn’t have to leave... But it couldn’t work like that.
Jimin’s work as a high end therapist was already wobbly because of his relationship with Jungkook. As unfortunate as it is, people didn’t want his help if he was dating a fellow man.
And Jungkook had already been shamed for his love publicly, the gossip forums on the newspaper and websites having a hay day with his image. He’d worked so hard to show he wasn’t any different than a straight man when it came to his work. But, the world is a cruel place, and social norms often reared their ugly heads with Jungkook.
They couldn’t drag you into that cesspool of nasty comments and uncomfortable encounters. It was a harsh reality, but it was the one you were all living in. And there wasn’t anything they could do about it.
Jungkook wanted to scream about how it was unfair. How you sitting here with them wasn’t wrong, as long as you all cared about one another, how could it be? But they both knew how this would end.
With you walking out of their lives and your child’s life, forever.
“I’m sorry for waking you up,” you hiccuped, swallowing down the rest of your tears.
“No, don’t be sorry,” Jimin said, rubbing your shoulder.
“If something’s wrong we want you to tell us,” Jungkook said, looking at you with misty eyes.
“I-I will,” you said, wiping your face.
“Are you going to be able to go back to sleep?” Jimin asked, looking at your state with concern.
“I should be able to,” you said, trying to convince yourself of the same thing.
“We can stay with you, until you’re asleep,” Jungkook offered before even thinking. Jimin’s head snapped to the younger male, who was already shrinking.
“W-Would you?” Your soft voice spoke up.
Jimin nodded finally, crawling into the bed with you and Jungkook following suit. They each took a hand and held it tightly. Jimin drew different shapes and patterns on your palm, making you giggle when it tickled. Jungkook interlocked your fingers together, running his thumb over your soft skin like Jimin did with him when he was nervous or scared.
Sooner, rather than later, you were passed out once more, hands clutching Jimin and Jungkook’s.
The men managed to untangle themselves from you as they went back to their room, hearts heavy. When the door shut, Jungkook burst into tears.
“Oh my sweet boy, don’t cry,” Jimin said, wiping his boyfriend’s cheeks carefully.
“Jimin,” he said, forehead resting on the older man’s shoulder.
“I know, it hurts me too,” Jimin whispered.
“I just want her to know that she’s not just a convenience, she’s so much more than that,” Jungkook whimpered.
“Yeah,” Jimin said, thinking of your body curled up on the couch with a good book and a warm drink next to you. Your smile when your favorite song comes on in the car. The way you’re already so protective over the baby.
“I don’t know if it’s because she’s carrying our baby or what, but, I want to be closer to her. I want to know everything about her... God I don’t know what to do with myself Jimin,” Jungkook complained, wiping at his tears in frustration.
“We just gotta keep it in our mind that she had a life before this, and she’ll have a life after it too. S-She’s doing this because we’re paying her Jungkook. Of course that isn’t the only reason but, it is the main one,” Jimin reminded his boyfriend, and himself.
Even though the words felt hollow in the air.
“I guess,” Jungkook said.
“You’ve got work early, we need to go back to bed,” Jimin said, motioning for Jungkook to get into bed as well. The two men cuddled up to each other, each feeling like something, or someone, was missing...
--
Faster than you thought possible, the ten week mark had come.
It was time to get your first ultrasound of the pregnancy.
The boys were over the moon about the whole thing. Excitedly chatting in the car.
“I hope we can see the baby well,” Jungkook said, driving carefully through the street.
Jimin hummed in agreement. “Me too, the baby is still super small right now. About the size of a prune but, we’ll still be able to see them on the screen. And, we can hear their heartbeat!”
You smiled at their excitement. Bringing your fingers up you brushed the pendant they gave you, a nervous habit you’d picked up shortly after their gifting it to you. Jungkook looked at you in the rearview, playing with the sparkling jewelry piece. It made his chest feel tight, looking at you. Jimin placed a hand on his, making Jungkook focus on him for a moment.
Jimin shook his head and Jungkook swallowed thickly, knowing exactly what he meant.
Soon, you were all at the clinic.
Jimin helped you out of the backseat, getting your bag and whatnot so you didn’t have to fuss with it. Jungkook placed a protective hand on your lower back, guiding you into the building.
You felt your heart flutter in your chest at the action, having to cover up your blushing with a cough. Jimin urged you to sit down while he got the paperwork, something you didn’t fight him on. You were exhausted as of late.
The boys reassured you it was normal to be tired. You knew, however, that you were a little more tired than normal. Briefly you wondered if it was because it was your first time and you’d never felt something like this. However, that didn’t sit right. You knew there was something going on, but you didn’t want to worry the boys. Especially since you were getting an ultrasound today.
Sitting next to Jungkook in the waiting room, he made small talk. Asking how you were feeling and if the morning sickness had gotten any better.
“It’s gotten worse,” you complained, leaning your head back in the seat.
“Really? Maybe we can ask the doctor to prescribe something for you,” he said.
“It should be going away soon, I’ll be alright,” you reassured, patting his knee.
“Sometimes it doesn’t go away until the baby is born, I just don’t want you to suffer if we can do something about it,” Jungkook said softly.
“If it gets too bad, I’ll say something. Okay?” You said, keeping a gentle smile on your face.
“Yeah, okay,” he agreed.
Jimin came back and took Jungkook’s hand, intertwining their fingers together. Jimin had a habit of tracing the tattoos on Jungkook’s hands when he was nervous, it made you smile.
Eventually a nurse called your name and led you back to the ultrasound room. Jungkook smiled and sat down in the chair provided. Jimin helped you up onto the table and the ultrasound tech went over what they would be looking for and opened it up for questions.
When no one had any, she proceeded.
“Okay, I just need you to pull the front of your pants down a little bit,” the tech asked, prepping the machine.
You immediately turned and looked at Jungkook and Jimin, then down at your stomach. It wasn’t a big deal, it was just a little bit anyways.
Without much more thought you pulled your pants so just the top of your panties were showing. Jungkook’s eyes widened at your actions, but he tried to keep a calm exterior. Jimin kept his eyes trained on the screen, not wanting you to feel uncomfortable.
The ultrasound gel was cold, making you jump when it came in contact with your skin. But soon it was warming to your skin and you all looked at the screen with rapt attention.
“Alright so we should see the head and curvature of the body, but other than that this is just to make sure that everything is looking good in the uterus and to see if there are any abnormalities with the baby-oh! Babies it appears,” the tech said, a big smile on her face.
“What?” Jimin said.
“There’s another head there, if you look right here,” she pointed at the screen. “Looks like you’ve got a set of twins in there!”
Jungkook’s eyes teared up, looking down at your stomach with his heart in his throat.
You were stunned.
Twins?
The first try?
Wow, you really did win the lottery.
“Oh my God,” Jimin said, hiding his face in Jungkook’s shoulder.
“Way to go, got those twins first try,” you said, trying to keep your nerves under control.
“It’s all thanks to you Y/N, we couldn’t do it without you,” Jungkook reminded.
“Are you guys going to want the pictures?” The tech asked. Jimin and Jungkook of course said yes.
“Wow, look at their heads babe!” Jimin yelped as you all walked out of the clinic together. Jimin was still cooing over the pictures of the twins from the ultrasound.
“I need to put it in my wallet,” he said, bringing out the accessory shortly after.
You smiled at their excitement. You were beyond happy, you’d done it. Gave them the twins they desperately wanted. First try too. You knew that meant a few more complications, but, you didn’t want that to hold too much weight over you.
“We should call Namjoon and Jin! Tell them the news about the twins!”
You nodded quickly, wanting to tell your friends the update.
Namjoon and Jin were thrilled, obviously. Insisting that they’ll give Annie to Jin’s parents for the night so you could all get together and have a meal. Agreeing, the boys set it up for around seven thirty.
“Dress nice! I also expect to see those ultrasound pictures!” Jin said through the phone.
You snorted and shook your head, gently touching your stomach. You felt a fluttering in your chest, like you were standing on the edge of a tall building or something. It made you gasp lightly, moving your hand away from your belly to your chest. Jimin seemed to notice your movement because he was turning around in his seat.
“Everything alright there?” He asked, looking at you with his beautiful brown eyes.
“Y-yeah, I’m good. We’re-good,” you said, pointing to your tummy. Jimin’s eyes lit up at the mention of the babies.
“Okay, tell me if you need anything,” he said, turning around and facing the front once more.
You all walked back into the apartment, Jungkook still gushing about everything. You simply smiled and went to go get ready for dinner.
Jin did say to look nice, so you picked out a few things from your shopping excursion a while back. Putting on a dress that looked skin tight but it was super stretchy, so no doubt you could wear it late into the pregnancy. The zipper on the back would be an issue but, it made you feel a little sexy. You hadn’t really done a lot in regards to your appearance around the boys, you didn’t see the need.
But, it wouldn’t hurt to do your hair and dress nicely...
You had the perfect shoes to pair with the dress. You grabbed some stockings and a few other small pieces of jewelry, placing them on the bed while you assembled everything together the way you wanted it.
Eventually, you were all set.
Except for the zipper on the back.
You didn’t understand why there was a zipper on such a stretchy dress, but fashion has its ways you guess. Reaching behind you proved unsuccessful. Quickly growing frustrated, you did the following without thinking.
“Jimin? Jungkook? Can one of you come here for a second please?”
Once the words were out, you immediately wished you could eat them.
But the damage had been done.
Both men walked in your room.
Jimin’s jaw dropped open, looking at you in awe.
You were in knee high stockings, low heels and a slinky black dress that hugged your body so perfectly it made him want to drop to his knees. Jungkook fared no better. Seeing your hair styled and a little bit of makeup on your features really enhanced your natural beauty. They both were staring, making you shrink in embarrassment.
“O-Okay, you can blink any time now,” you said, chuckling to ease the tension in the room.
“You look... wow,” Jimin breathed.
“Incredible. You look incredible,” Jungkook said, eyes trailing down your legs.
“Thank you, but, um... Could one of you please come zip me up? I can’t reach the zipper,” you said, turning your back to them fully.
Jungkook stared at his boyfriend with an almost agonized look on his face. Jimin nodded and walked forward, brushing your hair out of the way. Placing a gentle hand on your hip Jimin pulled the zipper up to the top, covering each inch of your beautiful skin.
Jungkook swallowed his noise of protest, trying to remember what Jimin had said. You weren’t an object for them to use, you were their surrogate. The woman who would be birthing their twins. And then leaving...
Jimin knew if Jungkook had walked forward to zip up your dress he wouldn’t be able to keep it together. Jimin wasn’t doing that hot either to be honest. Your hips flared out. Looking so beautiful hugged in the dress, and the warmth of your skin beneath his fingertips was... alarming.
“Thank you,” you said, turning around with a smile on your face.
Jimin couldn’t help but mirror your grin.
“Absolutely, are you ready to go now?” He asked, trying to keep from getting distracted any more.
“Yeah, let’s go! I want Jin to feed me so much I burst,” you said, heading towards the door. Once you were gone, Jungkook looked at Jimin.
“This is only getting harder,” Jungkook said, biting his lip.
“Are you going to be alright?” Jimin questioned, placing his hand on Jungkook’s shoulder.
“Yeah, just... This feels wrong,” Jungkook whispered.
“What feels wrong?” Jimin asked.
“Keeping her at arm's length, I just feel awkward. Pushing her away when she’s doing something so big for us, it’s really emotionally charged and... I feel like a jerk for treating her like just another person. Like she isn’t special,” Jungkook explained, brushing his hair out of his face.
“I understand,” Jimin said, trying to smooth the frown lines from Jungkook’s face.
“Boys? Are you coming?” Your voice echoed through the house.
“Coming!” Jimin said. “We’ll talk about this later, okay? We’ll figure this out.”
The dinner at Jin and Namjoon’s was beyond anything you’d expected.
There was so much food and honestly, you ate a lot. Lying back in your chair, tilting your head back you sighed. Rubbing your stomach unconsciously. But the boys noticed everything. Especially how amazing you looked in that outfit.
It was just about all they could do to keep their hands off of you. Jungkook was fidgeting the whole night, being the one who sat next to you. He really tried to keep his cool, but a man could only take so much.
“So, Y/N, how does it feel to be pregnant with twins?” Namjoon asked, taking a small bite of rice.
“Honestly? It’s not been a cake walk, let me tell you. My mood swings are everywhere, my chest is killing me, food is either a hit or miss and don’t get me started on how arou-ahem,” you froze at your brazen attitude. Jimin and Jungkook’s heads snapped at your statement, looking at you with masked emotions. “Sorry, got carried away. Anyways, it’s been wild. But, I’m really glad to be doing it, you know? The boys take good care of me,” you praised, smiling at the two of them now.
Namjoon noticed it first.
The twinkle in Jungkook’s eyes at your words. How genuinely happy he seemed listening to you talk. Jimin’s body language was always engaged with you, never closing off or making it appear like he wasn’t interested.
Namjoon’s eyes widened.
This would need to be discussed...
Soon, everyone was sitting in the living room, just digesting. When you got up and said you had to use the restroom.
When the men were alone, Namjoon attacked.
“What are you guys doing?” He asked, looking at the two younger men with worry in his features.
“What do you mean?” Jimin quizzed right back.
“Listen, I’ve been friends with Y/N for a long time. I really care about her and want only the best for her. I also want you guys to be happy and healthy and have your own family, so please don’t take what I’m about to say personally but-what the fuck?” He asked.
“What do you mean what the fuck?” Jungkook asked.
“Why are you looking at her like that?” Namjoon asked, feeling his frustration rise.
“Like what?!” Jimin argued.
“Like you-Like you, are all, like... a couple?” Namjoon said, feeling the awkward tension rising in the room.
“What?” Jungkook coughed.
“We aren’t together,” Jimin said slowly.
“But do you want to be?” Namjoon asked.
Jungkook broke first.
“I don’t know,” he whispered, placing his head in his hands. Jimin was quick to comfort the younger male, rubbing his back in big, soothing circles.
“It’s a new experience for us. We just want her to be happy and healthy and safe. You know, take care of her,” Jimin explained, skirting around the question.
“Of course, but, there’s a difference between appreciation and affection,” Jin said, speaking up.
“Y-Yeah, we know that,” Jimin answered. “I’m a therapist, I know what emotions are.”
Namjoon rolled his eyes.
“If you know what emotions are then why are you denying your own?” he asked.
“I’m not!”
“Bullshit,” Namjoon challenged.
“This is fucking ridiculous,” Jimin growled.
“What’s all the angry whispering out here for?” You asked, walking back into the room. The energy snapped within an instant.
“It’s alright, just a heated debate about politics,” Namjoon joked, giving you a tender smile.
“Oookay?” You said, coming back in to sit down next to Jungkook, who was trying his best to not squirm when your thigh brushed his.
The rest of the night moved rather calmly, but not without a fierce monopoly game that almost caused a few table flips. Jungkook wound up losing and threw a mini tantrum. But it was quickly smoothed over when you promised you’d bake him some cookies the next time he had a day off.
While Namjoon and Jin were cleaning up, Jungkook and Jimin discovered your sleeping frame on the couch once more. Breaths coming in even and slow, they smiled at you. Your lips were pouting lightly, something they’d discovered was a habit when you were sleeping.
And Jungkook adored it.
He came over to your side and tried to wake you up, but when you whined and fussed he decided it would just be easier to carry you to the car. Carefully, the strong young man lifted you into his arms and towards the door. Jimin got the rest of your things all together and they thanked Jin and Namjoon for the meal and night.
But before they left, Namjoon grabbed Jimin by the shoulder. Jungkook waited, looking back in worry. Jimin waved him on, saying he’d be there in a minute. Jungkook nodded before heading out the door.
“What?” Jimin asked.
“I’m sorry about earlier, I overstepped. I didn’t mean to offend you or Jungkook. It’s just, Y/N is very inexperienced when it comes to love and emotions and having that connection. I’m worried about what’s happening to her. I don’t want her to get her hopes up and be crushed later on,” he explained.
Jimin nodded his head.
“I accept your apology. I didn’t mean to fly off the handle either, Jungkook and I have been... Discussing it. But it’s not an easy thing to come to terms with, we aren’t sure what we feel for her... We know we care about her, but is it because she’s our surrogate and we want to care for her? Or is it something deeper? We don’t know,” Jimin sighed, running his fingers through his hair.
“Y/N is so special. She gives without thinking, she is so dedicated to those she cares about... she’d give the shirt off her back to someone she didn’t even know. It’s hard not to love her, but... she doesn’t deserve to be pulled in a million different directions either. But you all deserve to be happy, I’m always here if you need to talk,” Namjoon offered.
Jimin smiled lightly. “That’s normally my line.”
“You guys are good people, I wouldn’t have recommended Y/N do this if I didn’t trust you. But, just... please don’t take advantage of her heart. And don’t lie to yourselves either.”
Jimin nodded, looking down at the floor with a resolute nod.
“Thanks, both of you,” Jimin said, giving a small wave before heading out towards the car. Jungkook already had you buckled and settled in.
“What was that about?” Jungkook asked, getting into the front seat.
“He wanted to apologize for earlier, he felt like he overstepped. And, he wanted to explain why he was so defensive over Y/N,” Jimin said.
Jungkook nodded and started the car, taking off down the road.
“Why is he so protective? Did they like, date in the past or something?” Jungkook asked. Jimin shook his head.
“N-No, Y/N hasn’t ever had a boyfriend or girlfriend,” Jimin said, resting his head in his hand.
“What? Really?” Jungkook balked. Trying to think of how someone like you hadn’t ever been snatched up before. You were a total catch! But, you did tend to keep to yourself.
“Yeah, she told me about it the day she had her IUI done,” Jimin explained.
“Oh, so-wait. She’s having a baby when she’s never, like, had sex?” Jungkook said. “Is that safe?”
“I mean I’m sure it’s safe but, she’s not... Um, she told me she’s had sex before,” Jimin said.
“Wow, how did this all come up?” Jungkook asked.
“Well, she mentioned something about wanting someone who looked at her the way we look at each other,” Jimin blushed.
“She’s so cute,” Jungkook groaned. “Well, at least she’s been with someone before. You know, had that kind of pleasure.”
Jimin coughed, rubbing his neck. Jungkook looked at him weirdly.
“What?”
“She may have off-handedly mentioned that she’s never, uh... You know, finished,” Jimin flushed. Jungkook looked floored at the information.
“You mean to tell me, that some jerk took her virginity and didn’t fucking make it special? What a fucking tool bag,” Jungkook growled.
“I don’t know the story, she didn’t divulge that kind of information. I was the one who guessed she’s never finished, and she was pretty embarrassed about it all to be honest,” Jimin said.
“That is so frustrating,” Jungkook said.
“Yeah.”
The car was quiet, save for your soft little snores coming from the back seat.
“Did you hear what she said during dinner?” Jimin asked. “When she was talking about her pregnancy symptoms.”
“Yeah...” Jungkook trailed off.
“I wish we could do something for her, I feel so bad,” Jimin whispered.
“We can be there to support her but we can’t over step either,” Jungkook said.
“I know, normally I’m the one reminding you of that,” Jimin huffed.
“I understand it’s not easy for either of us,” Jungkook said softly.
“Maybe we just need a god romp in the sheets to get it out of our system hmm?” Jimin teased, running a hand up Jungkook’s thigh. Jungkook couldn’t help the hiss that came out of his mouth at the touch. They hadn’t really been active in that way since you’d come into the house.
“Y-You know how loud I get,” Jungkook said, swallowing hard.
“Oh I’m very aware how loud I can make you scream,” Jimin winked.
“Stop, I’m already hard,” Jungkook whined.
“I bet you are baby,” Jimin said, squeezing his boyfriend’s thigh tight.
“Stop, please,” Jungkook whined.
“Mmm,” Jimin said, not sensing that Jungkook really wanted him to stop. “And what if I keep going baby? What if I snuck my hand into your pants and tugged your pathetic little cock until you came huh? Make you come all over your expensive pants and make you lick it up?”
“Jimin,” Jungkook said, cock straining against his pants.
“Yes baby? What does my baby want, huh?” Jimin asked, so sweet... Almost dangerous.
“I-I want-”
“Mmm, are we home yet?” You voice perked up from the back seat.
“Y/N?” Jimin asked, turning to look at you. Your eyes were bleary from sleep and it was obvious you must’ve just woken up. Jungkook adjusted himself in the seat, trying to hide his throbbing erection from your sight.
“Yeah?” You said, blinking slow.
“Sweetie,” Jimin cooed, brushing a few strands of your hair back from your face, even though it was an awkward angle for him.
“Jungkook are you okay?” You asked, noticing how tense the young man’s posture was.
“I-I’m good,” he said, trying to hide his arousal.
“Okay,” you said, laying your head back down.
Jungkook pulled the car into the front slot of the building, handing the keys over to the valet. The two of them brought you out of the car and Jimin decided it was his turn to carry you up to the apartment. So, the three of you all made it to the apartment in silence.
You were awake, but you weren’t feeling too terribly chatty. Sleep still at the forefront of your mind. Jungkook and Jimin hadn’t spoken since you got out of the car, and you can’t help but feel like you were in the middle of something kinda intense. The charged feeling in the room making you shift against Jimin’s chest.
He looked down at you, trying to keep himself from jostling you too much. You were exhausted. But soon, you felt bile rising in your throat...
“Jimin put me down,” you said, holding your hand to the mouth. Just as he set you down you scrambled to the bathroom and threw up the massive dinner you’d eaten. Jimin and Jungkook were rushing right after you. Jungkook brought your hair away from your face. Jimin sat down next to him to rub your back.
You got to the point where you were just dry heaving into the toilet, but it didn’t seem to end.
“Oh fuck,” you croaked, coughing hard.
“You want some water?” Jimin asked.
“No, I’m scared I’ll just throw that up too,” you whined.
“It might be better than just dry heaving,” Jimin said.
“You got a point,” you huffed, trying to keep your head from spinning.
“I’ll get you some,” he said, moving off the floor to head towards the kitchen. Jungkook shuffled forward, kind of molding his front to your back. When you pushed a little too hard against him you felt it. Wondering what it could be for a moment you pushed back against him again, when he groaned in surprise.
“U-Um, Jungkook?” You squeaked.
“S-Sorry!” He said, moving away faster than the speed of light.
“I-It’s okay, just, you know,” you flushed.
“It’s not because of you! It’s not uh, I wasn’t um,” he stuttered.
“I-I didn’t think it was?” You said, more of a question.
“It’s not that you’re not pretty or anything it’s-”
“No, I get it,” you said, smiling weakly.
“Y/N-”
“Here’s your water,” Jimin said, bringing in a glass for you to drink.
You sipped it slowly. Not paying attention. Jungkook looked like he was going to die in the corner, which made Jimin shoot him a weird look. He just shook his head as he covered his face. Jimin made a mental note to question him about it later, but his concern was on you right now.
“Have you been getting sick a lot?” Jimin asked, placing a soft hand on your shoulder.
“I mean, it’s mainly in the morning. I think I just ate too much at dinner,” you said, pouting lightly.
“Gotcha, do you feel like you’re going to get sick again? Or do you think you’re done?” He asked.
“I-I think I’m good,” you said, putting the empty glass down.
“Are you sure?” Jimin asked, making you look at him.
“Mhmm,” you confirmed, eyes getting droopy again.
“Alright sleepyhead, brush your teeth and go to bed. Need help getting up?” Jimin worried, fussing over you like any father to be would.
You stood up slowly, mindful of your dizzy head. But, when you stood at the sink you felt everything kinda snap into focus. Jimin dragged Jungkook out of the bathroom to let you do your thing, but told you to come get them if you needed anything.
Hurrying into the bedroom, Jimin narrowed his eyes at his boyfriend.
“Why did you look like you’d rather crawl into an overflowing storm drain than be in that bathroom? What happened when I was getting water?”
Jungkook looked up at Jimin could see the embarrassment on his face. Sighing, Jimin sat down, placing his hand on his boyfriend’s back.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have teased you in the car. It’s just, been a while you know? I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything,” Jimin apologized.
“Y/N felt it, my... When you moved me so you could get out of the bathroom to get her the water, she was pushed up against me. And, she pushed back against me and felt my dick against her,” Jungkook said, rubbing her face.
“Oh, that is... uh, awkward,” Jimin agreed.
“It gets worse,” Jungkook said.
“What do you mean?” Jimin asked.
“I-I told her it wasn’t because of her and then I tried to tell her it’s not that she wasn’t pretty and I just threw up a bunch of words that didn’t make sense and then you were back,” Jungkook whimpered.
Jimin sighed. Jungkook had never been a genius with words, but normally he was better than that. He knows that Jungkook is mortified, Jungkook wasn’t good at mingling or recovering from blunders of the social variety. So, Jimin just sighed and gave his boyfriend a gentle kiss.
“It’s okay Jungkook, Y/N isn’t gonna hold this against you,” Jimin soothed.
“I just feel terrible,” Jungkook said softly.
“Why? It was an accident,” Jimin reasoned.
“Because I-I didn’t want her to stop,” he swallowed. Jimin bit his lip and tried to keep his anger from spilling over.
“I don’t know how many times we have to talk about this Jungkook,” Jimin said.
“We were talking about it in the car! But we’ve never talked about what we want, what we’re doing now, it's not sustainable. I’m going crazy!” Jungkook yelled.
“Jungkook keep your voice down!” Jimin reminded.
“Jimin I’m so fucking confused, I don’t know what we’re doing. What I’m doing. I-I do know one thing for certain. I love those kids, so much, and they aren’t even here yet. I love them so much, because they’re ours... But... I can’t keep doing this. Getting closer only to rip myself away, it’s killing me Jimin. If you want me to walk away, I will but, I just can’t keep giving myself hope when there isn’t any,” Jungkook cried, tears falling down his cheeks.
“I-I didn’t know you were so broken up over this,” Jimin whispered.
“I’m so confused,” Jungkook whispered.
“I am too, I love you so much but... I feel this connection to her. I know it’s normal to be grateful, but, I know it’s more than that with her,” Jimin said, moving to give Jungkook a back hug.
“Then we need to make a decision,” Jungkook said.
“You want to pursue her as a part of our couple? Like, make her our girlfriend?” Jimin asked.
“Do you?” Jungkook asked back.
“I mean... I wouldn’t be opposed,” Jimin said softly.
“I don’t want this if you don’t,” Jungkook said, turning to look at Jimin with sparkling eyes.
“I want this... I want her, but, we need to give her some time, as well as ourselves to come to terms with this,” Jimin reasoned.
“Okay,” Jungkook agreed.
“But, when we’re both ready, we can approach her,” Jimin said.
“Would this be healthy to do? I mean, mentally,” Jungkook asked.
“Polygamous couples generally tend to have better communication than the average two person couples. And with one of us being a therapist I think we could manage. I-I want to work towards that,” Jimin confessed.
“I want this too,” Jungkook said excitedly.
“Then that’s what we’ll do...”
You laid in bed late into the night. You heard Jungkook and Jimin having a disagreement. You couldn’t make out the words but, the walls were thin... You prayed to God that it wasn’t about you, or anything related to the children.
Slowly, your hand trailed down to your stomach. You didn’t think you could see a bump yet, but maybe a little something? You weren’t sure, maybe it was just wishful thinking.
You moved slightly, and you felt something in your underwear. Adjusting lightly, you pulled them down to look, and you saw a decent amount of arousal soaking into the cotton fabric. Blushing bright red you reached down to touch your hot center, to find that you were, in fact, dripping wet.
Biting your lip you thought back on the bathroom incident. Jungkook’s firm body pressed against yours, his hardened cock pressed against your ass, the hot groan he let out. Running your fingers over your slit, you gathered your slick and pushed against your clit gently.
Shockwaves of pleasure ripped through you at the sensation.
“Oh!” You gasped, hand coming up to cover your mouth in fear of waking the boys.
You did it again, causing your body to jump slightly, making more of your arousal drip from your center. Licking your lips you thought about what Jungkook’s hands would feel like instead of yours. What his body would feel like pressed up against yours naked... Jimin’s plump lips flashed through your mind for a second, making you wonder what his blond head would look like between-
No!
No no no no no!
Ripping your hand away from your weeping core you turned over and placed your hands on your head.
How could you? Those two weren’t something to fuel your lonely fantasies! They are in love with each other, and are going to have a family... Albeit you had to help with that part but, still. Jimin and Jungkook weren’t yours... They were each other’s...
But as much as you tried to tell yourself that it would never happen...
You couldn’t help but dream of the two men’s hands running over your body...
Hot breaths touching your ears...
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