#can you believe i have been posting writing on tumblr forever | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

malanor3 · 2 months

Text

In My Soul

<NSFW>

PLEASE READ FIRST BEFORE CONTINUING

Prompt: Astarion’s heavy gaze is something that throws you into a tail-spin when you catch his feverish glances. On this particular day, he was practically undressing you with his eyes.

Pairing: Fem!Tav x Astarion

Tags: Light angst, smut, intense eye contact, fingering, cunnilingus, basically Astarion is a munch, fluff if you squint really hard

Word Count: 4,833

A/N: i’m sooo sorry this took so long, i was trying so hard to push through and make sure it was perfect but it might be a bit clunky. i write on my phone/ipad and have to edit it in post on tumblr 🫣 but i hope you guys like it i worked really hard. it’s been a few years since i’ve written anything proper but i’m pretty proud of this. it got me all hot and bothered so i must’ve done something right hopefully 😫

Nothing irked you more than when you were in the suffocating heat of battle, and in a fleeting moment catching familiar crimson eyes boring into you through the settling dust.

This was important. Focus was imperative. Yet you couldn’t ignore the rosy heat that crept on your cheeks— the feeling deep in your stomach as if it was doing somersaults. It was silly, really, and that’s why it irritated you so much.

You wanted to confront Astarion— wanted to tell him how distracting he was; how insufferable that simple act made you feel. You knew, however, it would forever be an excuse for him to torment you more. You could practically see him chuckle, pat your head, and then fixate his eyes tauntingly on you. You wanted to tear those beautiful eyes right out of his skull.

You figured you would have a moment of peace when you’d made camp that evening, but that was wishful thinking on your part.

Mending the bright and blazing fire that illuminated your dim surroundings, you couldn’t shake the feeling of eyes being on you. Curiously, your gaze wandered the camp. Shadowheart was snug in her tent just a ways from you. Karlach and Wyll seemed to be in deep conversation, paying you absolutely no mind. Lae’zel had been sound asleep for quite some time, and Gale was just across from you, but he was too busy reading to take notice of your analytical gaze. That only left one person unaccounted for, and your stomach dropped at the realization.

“Something the matter, darling?”

Your perception seemed to fail you as he took you by surprise from behind—your backside bumping into his towering figure as you jumped in shock. Peering over your shoulder with the most annoyed glance you could muster, you’re met with his mischievous glare. The rolling of your eyes indicated to him that what he was doing was working— and he loved to see every muscle in your face twitch at his efforts. You simply returned your focus to the fire.

“Would you believe me if I said no?” you remarked sarcastically as you poked and prodded the dying embers. Your ears perked at the chuckle that rumbled in his chest, but you tried your best to brush off the melodic sound.

“Hardly.”

As expected, you weren’t hiding it as well as you thought. The annoyance—the absolute aggravation that coursed through you. You tried your best to brush it off.

His movement was swift as he sat in the space next to you; pressing his shoulder into your own. The sudden contact made you stop momentarily, but not long enough for him to take notice. At least, you hoped not. You fought every urge to look into those eyes.

“You seem quite tense, darling. Is there anything you need? Anything I can do?” His voice dragged as he ever so slightly leaned into your ear, knowing full well at this point he was flat out taunting you. Your breath hitched slightly when you felt his hand rest on your thigh and gripped just enough that you almost forgot what was wrong, but reality struck when his fingers traced dangerously close to a certain spot, and you could feel the rage boil all over again.

You huffed as you threw the poker down, and Gale seemed to snap out of the fixation with his book at this. He peered over the top edge of the pages, but you were too hot with fury to notice. Maybe I shouldn’t be so nosey, he thought, but I don’t think they notice me anyway. Gale pressed the book desperately into his nose.

You stood and turned to Astarion with a look of defiance etched into your features; pointing a finger so close to his face he almost went cross-eyed.

“You’ve done quite enough for one day.”

He laid a hand on his chest as if taking offense.

“Sweetheart, whatever do you mean? I’ve done absolutely nothing wrong.” He purred, his eyes peering into the very depths of your soul. Seeing him beneath you sent shockwaves through your fingers, and the mention of just that singular word was enough to send you completely over the edge. Sweetheart? Sweetheart?! Who in the Hells does he think he is?!

In that moment, you could feel that consuming feeling take over every connector in your brain, and your stomach churned. You cursed the way your body deceived you before groaning, turning, and stomping off defiantly.

“I need a moment. Alone.” You huffed.

Astarion’s gaze followed your figure all the way to the tent in amusement before you shut the cloth behind you, and after a moment, it was clear you would not be returning. His gaze returned to the fire in front of him. It was only just a bit of fun; he told himself. I could’ve done much, much worse. The poor dear.

“So… do you think she’s gone to occupy herself, Astarion?” Gale’s amused chords rang from behind the pages of his book—himself now sat back comfortably after what he’d just witnessed.

He admitted it was all quite silly, mostly because you’d fought with him a few days previously about your real feelings for the vampire and completely denying them. Gale knew you were just saving face, but it ran much deeper than he’d anticipated. Even if you wouldn’t admit it he knew you liked Astarion. As much as that fact made his brain chemistry practically disintegrate, it was only because Gale had taken interest in you too. You’d made it clear that you just wanted to be friends, and he was respectful of that. Now he was faced with a dilemma; how to get the vampire to treat you the way you deserved. Gale was not convinced thus far that he could trust Astarion, and especially not with their precious leader.

Astarion flashed him a taunting grin.

“Well, if she was, she would have invited me, of course. Tell me, Gale, do you even know where the clitoris is?”

The wizard sat there baffled before collecting his things and beginning to stand. He huffed, much like you had, and scowled in the vampire’s direction.

“I’ll have you know I am well endowed in the pleasure department, thank you very much. Not that it’s any of your business, anyway.” Gale spoke, rolling his eyes. He lingered momentarily as he thought about his next words methodically. He would not risk waking to fangs in his neck, so he let out a tired sigh before parting his lips to speak.

“She’s rather fond of you, Astarion. I just,” his breath caught in his throat, “I just think you should be careful with her. She’s more than just a pretty face. Much more.” The wizard’s hand waved about in the air for emphasis. Astarion examined him carefully in the dim light of the fire and saw the genuine concern that adorned his features, and at this Astarion’s eyes softened slightly.

“If we can agree on anything, Gale, let it be that fact. She’s… definitely something.” His head nodded in earnest. Gale felt his thoughts relax at his words. Though he wasn’t fully confident in Astarion’s motives, at least there could be a start. After all, they shared a damn camp together along with most of their days. He might as well get used to him. With a final passing glance, Gale retreated to his own tent to engage in much needed sleep; leaving Astarion with his own rampant thoughts.

He had to admit that he absolutely adored the way you would get so worked up over his advances. No one had ever tried so hard to reject them— if they even tried at all —and the thought of it made his mind go crazy. He would be lying if he said he hadn’t been thinking of stretching your sweet cunt open; tasting every inch of skin you had to offer, absolutely ravishing you like he’d never had a drop to drink. It kept him up most nights, but it was only because you were playing hard to get. He knew whether or not you wanted to admit it; you needed him, and that thought was enough to solidify you as his prey.

But then there were those innocent glances, or sometimes even the smallest, feather-light touches you’d grant him every so often. Even the sound of your voice he found was a sweet symphony that cradled him in the warmest embrace; a feeling he hadn’t felt in all his 200 years of living-death. To say the feeling alarmed him was an understatement, but he figured it had to be a side-effect of these damn worms. Maybe his brain wasn’t functioning properly. Of course he couldn’t entertain anything real between them—the idea was plain insanity. She only serves one purpose, you fool. Stop playing games. You need her on your side.

As he pondered this, something strange happened. He felt the hairs on his body stand on end, almost as if electricity had coursed through the very make-up of his cold blood. An unfamiliar heat crept over his skin and warmed his cheeks. His ears perked at the sudden noise that erupted from your tent, and it made every cell in his body twitch. It took every ounce of him to stop the movement of his feet from approaching your abode, but the sweetness of that sound could not be ignored. All thoughts had been wiped from his mind as he closed in on the opening while his hand reached out to the cloth. He hesitated for a moment as his ears perked up again becoming aware of a new noise, and he couldn’t help but listen intently.

Tucked inside your tent you felt the heat building in the small space; your ragged breaths muffled by your own hand as your other worked tight circles on your clit. This is ridiculous; you thought. He was practically eye-fucking me. The damned bastard.

The image of his eyes flashed behind yours along with the feeling of his fingers trailing up your thigh; his breath fanning the nape of your neck. It drove you wild. You imagined him positioned between your legs; his tongue lapping at your juices as he fought to keep your legs steady so he could worship your cunt properly. I wonder how his curls would feel between my fingers.

You moaned at the thought, but pressed your hand tighter to your lips to avoid anyone hearing your lewd noises. You could feel your release coming, and with every circle your breaths became quicker and more difficult to conceal. Squeezing your legs tighter to create more friction, you felt the small earthquakes begin to erupt throughout your body, and a white veil shielded the world from your eyes. As you convulsed, you failed to hear the footsteps that approached your tent as your psyche was completely sabotaged with pleasure.

As quickly as you peaked, the electric feeling began to wane as your chest rose and fell in tandem with your animalistic breaths—grounding you back to the dull reality of your tent—while your fingers lingered over the sensitive bundle of nerves that twitched with painful aftershocks. You sucked in a deep breath and held for a few seconds before releasing the weight of your orgasm with it. Something in you felt so guilty and rotten for the act. We’ve never even had a decent conversation and your imagining him waltzing into your tent and absolutely destroying your cervix. Unbelievable.

Your hand slowly moved from your mouth to rest on the apex of your throat as if feeling a lingering hand there; like you were trying to fill an empty space that you hoped eventually would be awarded to someone. Your eyes peered above into the boring and equally uninteresting cloth that made your tent as your brain drifted to the Pale Elf’s captivating stare anew, making you lose your breath all over again. You knew there could be no future there with a happy ending, but would it hurt so bad to just entertain it if even for a moment? What if it could be everything you’d dreamed about, or conversely your worst nightmare? Was it worth the risk? Questions riddled your brain that you were too frightened to answer.

Then your body tensed with a sudden jolt when you’d finally heard it—the dirt just outside your tent crushing under someone’s feet. Before you could even look up from your very obviously lewd position you heard the swish of your tent flap, and your body did something similar to a cat arching it’s back in defense. You thrusted forward to cover what you could of your half-exposed body, and in the anxiety of it all your eyes met with deep carmine irises that were glazed with insatiable hunger. He was already halfway through the opening, but didn’t dare to dip even a shoulder in as his eyes raked over your figure. The scent of your orgasm lingered hot and fresh in the air and it maddened him to no end. Stupid Wizard. Why did he always have to be right? He recalled Gale’s intuition about you “occupying” yourself. Damn bastard.

There was a moment of tense silence as you both stared at one another—both in want and in need—but neither pair of lips could make out words. You clutched your blanket close to your chest to at least have a semblance of modesty, but you were fooling no one, and especially not Astarion.

“I’m sorry, my sweet, but I seem to have caught you at an excellent time.” His lips curled into a smug smirk as he drank in your reddened cheeks and your slightly parted lips. You were still hot from your orgasm, and you couldn’t even bring yourself to retort back with something equally infuriating and snarky. All you could feel staring into his eyes was a deep and ravenous sea of lust awash your entire being. Your lip caught between your teeth as you examined his face wondering what the hell you were supposed to say in a situation like this.

“I said I wanted to be alone. Apparently you’re hearing impaired.” You didn’t sound as sharp as you’d wanted to, but you frankly didn’t care.

“And yet your sweet noises were loud enough to catch my ear. If I didn’t know any better, maybe you wanted to be heard.” His voice dipped below his chords into a very slight growl and it ignited a flame in your stomach that couldn’t be satiated with mere banter. This required action, and a newfound confidence consumed your being as you leaned back in your bedroll.

“Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t. But I hardly see why that gave cause for you to waltz in here preening as if I have anything to offer you.” Your teeth bared in a prematurely victorious smile as you examined his full figure that was now nestled into the confines of your tent. He towered over your sitting figure; the shadow of it reaching to every corner of the room. It seemed to grow as he advanced on you quite suddenly when you felt his foot briefly brush against your own to stand at the foot of your bedroll. He shook his head as he beheld the sight of you; completely suffocating in awe and wonder at your figure beneath him.

“Oh no, my dear. You see, I am the one who comes offering. I cross my heart you won’t have to lift a pretty little finger.” His words drip like honey as his figure begins to shrink, taking you only seconds to realize that he was now on his knees with his hands placed firmly upon your own bent ones. His eyes pleaded you for entrance between your soft and supple thighs as he squeezed your skin to urge you on. Your lips fell slightly parted as you contemplated what was happening, and that it was in fact real. You had only moments to come to terms with whether the decision was morally right or wrong, but at this point fuck morality. In that moment you saw the absolute desperation and need he had to make you sing for him, and you couldn’t deny that it made you blush from within as easily as your cheeks had. You rationalized that you had no choice but to part your legs underneath the weight of his palms—breath hitching in your throat has he crawled in the empty space between them before hovering over the entirety of your figure.

“What a sweet little love you are. Are my words so captivating that you’d part your legs at the mere sound of them?” His hand grabbed your chin with the most gentle touch as he angled your gaze to better see him. He wanted to look at all of you, even to the deepest part of your beautiful eyes. He rubbed a feather-light finger across your cheek as his fingers trailed down the same area on your throat you had imagined earlier. Just moments ago so empty, and now you felt completely beguiled at the touch. He awaited your response while his fingers trailed your abdomen.

“If it were your words, we would have been in this position a long time ago.” You breathily sighed as you felt his fingers playing at the threads of the blanket that covered your exposed lower half. His eyes didn’t waver from your own even as your own parted his to look at his hands that inched closer and closer to where you so desperately wanted him.

“Ah, yes. I do believe it’s my gaze that get’s you so bothered.” He grabbed your chin once more, but this time more firmly, to direct your eyes back onto his own. Your mouth suddenly went dry when you felt his fingers dip lower, just barely grazing the hood of your clit, and you fought to keep in a whimpered moan at the sensitive feeling.

“Don’t keep those eyes off of me, darling. I want to watch every moment of your pleasure.”

You let out a soft moan as his fingers began to work gentle, insatiable circles on your sensitive nub. The intensity of his gaze was the only thing keeping you grounded in the blur of pleasure that began to build so quickly due to how recent your last orgasm was. Astarion felt a carnal lust building in himself, nearly drooling at how slick your folds were given your recent release. He wanted to hear those sweet moans for himself, and this time by his own hand. Your cunt was so needy for him that it took no effort to slip a dexterous finger into your core, and then another because he felt so generous. Your hips bucked slightly to create more friction as you already felt your second orgasm of the evening nearing; cheeks reddening in embarrassment as you began clenching around his fingers. He knew you would come undone momentarily, but he was lost in the way your brows furrowed together. The crinkle of your eyes when he would hit a certain spot within you. Your lips so plush and agape, which allowed your soft moans to travel into his ears and strike the deepest part of his dead heart so effortlessly. You were an absolute vision in his eyes.

He closed the space between you with a soft and gentle kiss if only to fill the gap in time he knew which your orgasm would arise. His tongue barely passing your lips; you couldn’t fight the way your hands lifted up to rake your fingers through his soft curls, tugging at them for stability in the kiss that you deepened. His fingers moved at a delicious pace as he brought you to your climax, and you already felt an emptiness in knowing that this moment was over. Even if you hadn’t ridden it out completely—your lips still connected—you felt hollow. Like there was something missing. You felt the gentle tug of his teeth on your bottom lip when he dragged it out, and your throat couldn’t help but release a deep moan as he awarded you with a few more small rubs to your sensitive spot before parting you too soon. He read the desperation in you like an open book, spying the emptiness behind your iris’. Still staring at your gorgeous face, he brought his soiled fingers to his lips before parting them; his digits disappearing into his mouth and cleaning your cum clean off. There seemed to be a new vitality that erupted in him at the mere taste of it, and he couldn’t help the smile that tugged at the corner of his pretty lips.

“I’m not finished with you yet.”

Your eyes widened when Astarion broke the eye contact so suddenly, but quickly replaced your shock with content as he connected his lips to the skin of your heartbeat. You couldn’t speak words as you were still hazed from your second peak, but allowed him to work at your body like putty in his hands. He never lingered in a spot too long as he kissed his way down your sweaty body, catching a nipple between his teeth teasingly as he did so which made you whimper. He never once broke eye contact as he shackled you down with just a simple look. You were utterly smitten with him and what he was going to do, and his plead to keep your eyes on him seemed like a silly request to you now. You couldn’t imagine doing anything else but stare at him.

Astarion began to salivate as he neared your sex, knowing full well how slick you were from his touch. The smell of your arousal had filled his senses entirely when he’d reached that aching spot. It was almost instinct to dart his tongue out to catch the dripping juices that flowed from your beautiful cunt, and it was exactly as he had imagined. Though he was a Vampire, and accustomed to a very obviously blood based diet, he wouldn’t deny now that he could live off of the sweetness of your cum alone. As much as he desired to burry his cock in you, he knew the look of your face when his tongue connected with you so intimately would be ingrained in his brain for eternity.

You brought yourself to the upright position; your hands bracing your body behind you to better get a view of this moment. He effortlessly hooked both arms under each of your legs and held firmly at your hips to better spread yourself for him. He didn’t hesitate for a moment longer when you’d situated yourself, and promptly connected his hungry mouth to the mess between your legs.

The feeling couldn’t be overstated; nearly bringing you to tears. It was beyond the amount of pleasure that a being could endure in a single evening, and yet with Astarion there you felt like you could do this for hours. The way his tongue traced devious lines in between your folds, and the way it would dip to tease your entrance. He fought at the idea of pushing a finger inside, but when your hand made home in his white curls he knew he had to make you cum by his tongue alone. He decided then to take your sweet clit between his teeth to suckle on it just right, and deliberately released a hum of satisfaction that he knew would drive you mad. The pained whimper he received proved that his efforts were a success.

You refused to tear away from his eyes. They peered up at you through delicate lashes, and they exhibited such strong hunger that it nearly overwhelmed you. Slipping an innocent finger between your lips to bite back something—anything— from escaping them, you felt his tongue moving faster and with more desperation. His fingers gripped at the skin of your hips so furiously that you knew there would be lingering marks, but you didn’t care. If it was your choice, you’d wish for every mark he gave you to be permanent; a constant reminder of this insurmountable pleasure. Gods, you couldn’t imagine anything in the entire universe feeling this amazing.

Your body shook with another arising orgasm and Astarion’s lips parted you briefly, if at all, to speak.

“So beautiful,” his lips connected with you once again, but only in a gentle kiss, “So delicious.”

He brought his lips back to your spot again to resume his pace, and you threw your head back as far as you could without breaking your gaze. Your orgasm fizzed inside of you more intensely than you’d ever felt before, feeling yourself clawing at the confines of your mind for release. It was too much, far too painful and you were suffering, but you absolutely relished it. You nestled your fingers back into his soft locks as you helped to guide his movements against your aching nub, and his perfect movements mixed with your direction was enough to bring you to the edge of your peak. Your chest heaved heavy breaths in anticipation for your release, and Astarion’s eyes only grew hungrier as his mouth turned animalistic; ravaging your cunt with so much force that you actually felt a stray tear dance across your cheek.

When the moment came, Astarion was completely enraptured. The taste of your cum was so much different at the apex of your orgasm that it nearly brought tears to his eyes; that something so sweet could only be sweeter. He loved how your body shook with passion as the feeling flooded your senses, but nothing was as beautiful as the view his eyes had been graced with. When it came to you, there were no doubts; you were definitely different in every aspect. Even when you rode your orgasm out against his lips, he expected you to push him away, but you never did. You only peered down at him with blood-bitten cheeks and a smile from ear to ear.

“If you’re going to make a habit of calling me silly pet names like ‘sweetheart’ and ‘darling’, you’ll be finding yourself in this position quite a lot.” A chuckle fought at the back of your throat when the words parted you, and you were relieved to see Astarion equally as amused. He rested his head on the ridge of your stomach while his hands traced light circles on the flesh of your legs, awarding you a toothy smile.

“Well, now I can’t imagine anything more enchanting than your ‘little death’, so maybe I should make it a habit. Of course, I’d only do that for my own benefit. Maybe a healing potion, or a new dagger. Definitely not for your pleasure or mine.” He raised a brow mischievously, and the tone in his voice let you know that he was only joking, because there was no hiding it on his face. He’d enjoyed the moment just as much as you, if not more. You were willing to bet now that he would stow away with you every evening to steal moments like this. Even he couldn’t deny that it had brought a warmth into him that he hadn’t felt in hundreds of years. He wanted to lock those images into the confines of his mind so that he might never forget them, replaying them only when he found himself engulfed in darkness with no hope of seeing the light.

“Definitely not. I couldn’t imagine anything more horrible.” You couldn’t wipe the smile off of your face, staring down at him in content. For the first time you could see him as he was; just a man. Your heart sang at the idea that maybe this was okay, and you’d both needed it. Maybe there was to be more in store for the two of you, but in this moment you were just happy with his presence.

He hadn’t even noticed he was lingering until you had fully flattened against the bedroll; your arms getting tired from holding your body up. He sat holding you like that for so long, laying against your stomach and gripping at your hips that he almost felt embarrassed. He’d never been one to linger after any sexual acts, but he couldn’t help but feel so safe with you. The comfort in knowing no words needed to be spoken. And as he got lost in his thoughts, you had already began to drift into blissful sleep with him attached to your abdomen, and he saw no reason why he had to leave.

So he stayed there all night, observing your peaceful face.

#18+ account #astarion #astarion bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #baldurs gate astarion #bg3 #reading #smut #bg3 astarion #fanfic #fem reader #18+ mdni #mdni #spawn astarion #astarion brainrot #astarion x reader #reader imagine #18+ content

553 notes · View notes

bby-deerling · 6 months

Note

I’m so glad you will write for Sanji!!

Can i please request a Sanji x reader in the whole cake arc where before that Sanji and reader would flirt and have this connection making reader think their relationship would go further but suddenly Sanji decides to ignore them making reader sad and one day he just say goodbye to the strawhats because he will marry pudding breaking reader’s heart (like tons of angst)

Thankfully luffy didn’t believe Sanji and forms a plan to rescue Sanji, so when Sanji and reader are together Sanji confess to reader that he did it to protect them and he was scared this would become his life instead of staying forever with reader?

Sorry if its too much and too especifica dear amazing writer, its okay if you don’t want to write it. I just need a Sanji angst to fluff

I’m also happy the message made you happy, it’s true! The way you write its amazing! Glad you decided to write, post it here and for my tumblr to put you in my page!

Have a nice day!

thank you so much for the request! <3 i made a few lil tweaks, but i hope you still enjoy it!

crazy (sanji x reader) angst w/a happy ending, hurt/comfort, wci spoilers. wc 1.2k

He was back.

He was back, and to everyone else it was like nothing had even happened—even Nami had forgiven him with relative ease. The whole crew was acting as if the events of the last week and some change were a complete dream, and he never left.

As if he hadn’t been about to marry someone else.

You were a complete fool, thinking you could capture the heart of a man who constantly flitted from one woman to the next. No stranger to the art of seduction, he threw himself at almost any woman that crossed his path, and on rare occasions, had gotten lucky when the occasional girl on an island would throw him a bone, but he had done so much to try to assure you his affections for you were genuine.

Neither of you had confessed your true feelings for each other outright other than Sanji's dramatic professions that you would be a fool to take seriously; prior to his departure, you had been trapped in a delicate dance back and forth with each other that had slowly bloomed into something that felt more serious—at least it did to you. It seemed so silly looking back on it—despite the way that he had toned down his flirtations with other women in order to convince you to fall for him, you should have known it was a matter of time until he went back to his natural habits. The teasing touches, comfortable silence while doing dishes, and long, emotional talks over a late-night cigarette could only have kept him captivated for so long before moving along to someone else.

Despite the massive headache and heartache the cook was causing, you couldn’t even call him on it right now; after him having been through so much with his biological family, it would be nothing short of cruel to attack him over his wandering eye. Still, you couldn’t help but hurt tremendously as he served drinks to you and Nami, mask of a smile on his face, without so much as a conversation with you about what had transpired, much less where the two of you stood with each other. In fact, he seemed to be avoiding you, slipping into the kitchen if he saw you flagging him down on the deck, and contrived some reason to leave if you entered his workspace.

As you suck on your straw deep in thought, refreshing taste of pineapple juice running down your throat, you decide to follow him back into the kitchen. You could stand him losing interest, but him avoiding anything but basic pleasantries with you was too much for you to handle.

“Ah, hello there, dear!” he says when you enter the kitchen, refusing to meet your eyes and instead feigning interest in a recipe book on the counter. “I was just about to check on Chopper and Luffy, did you need something?”

Another thinly veiled excuse. He steals a glance at you, and tenses when he sees you’re not buying it.

“Sanji, you’ve been avoiding me.” you say, voice wavering. You had intended it to come out far firmer, but your emotions were already getting the best of you before the conversation had even started.

He swallows hard, and turns to look at you. The silence pounds in your ears at he carefully chooses his words.

“I think we should have this conversation somewhere more private.” he says, sending chills down your spine. Unable to respond verbally, you nod and follow him to the aquarium bar, which was thankfully empty. He closes and locks the door, and stands behind the bar across from you; the tabletop separating you felt wider than the ocean you were sailing on. Despite him being the one to pull you away to talk, he finds it difficult to speak.

“So. I’ve been avoiding you.” he says, cringing with guilt at vocalizing his intentions. You remain silent, waiting to hear him out, and the pain in your stare breaks his heart.

“I’ve been avoiding you because I’m no good for you.” he says, staring downward and unable to bear your gaze any longer. You still don’t speak, forcing him to keep spilling his heart out, an activity that had felt effortless before, and like knives on his tongue now.

“What kind of man leaves the woman he loves to marry someone else?” he asks, hands shaking.

“The kind that wants to protect his friends.” you say, gingerly reaching out to lay your palm on top of his. He instinctively laces his fingers with yours, and the familiar touch pulls at his heartstrings.

“I did do it to protect you all, you know that, right dear?” he says, almost as if he was trying to convince himself that his betrayal was worth all of the pain it had caused.

“I know, Sanji.” you say, trying in vain to swallow the lump forming in your throat. “And you were brave for doing it.”

“Not when I’ve hurt you like this—” he insists, tears pricking in his visible eye and grip on your hand tightening.

“Sanji, what’s hurting me is you avoiding me.” you say, interrupting him, and with a firmness to your voice that makes him twitch. “What’s hurting me is you refusing to even talk to me and acting like everything we had was a dream and leaving me wondering if you ever truly cared about me at all.” Even though it needed to be said, you immediately feel guilt for saying it as his head falls into his arm and chokes back sobs.

“Of course I care, darling,” he chokes out, “I’m trying to let you go because I care. I don’t deserve you. I didn’t deserve you then, and I don’t deserve you now.” he insists, words muffled by his sleeve. You run your thumb across his hand in an attempt to comfort him, but it only seems to make him more distressed. His reaction finally gets you to break, and now both of you were sobbing messes.

“Sanji, please don’t let me go.” you plead between gasps for air. “I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you. I should have come to you sooner to comfort you instead of letting you try to distance yourself from me. I should have known better.”

Your gazes meet, red and watery from tears. Desperately, you search his face for any sign of what his next words will be, but he stays as silent as you had been minutes before. Just as he had done, you take a shaky breath and decide to continue.

“I love you, Sanji. I love you with the constancy of the sun rising and the moon falling. I love you unconditionally. All I ask is that if you feel the same way, you stay by my side.”

Something changes in the glint of his eye as he’s suddenly stirred to life. Normally he is the one for poetic, drawn out confessions of love, but you’ve rendered him speechless as he lets go of your hand and slides over the top of the bar—in any moment less dramatic than this you would have laughed—and stands in front of you, spinning you around in your stool to face him.

“I love you, dear. On this day and every day, and all the days to come, I love you.” he whispers, softly caressing your face before leaning in to seal his confession with a kiss. It starts out chaste, but quickly turns into something messy, emotional, and passionate.

“Do you have any idea how scared I was? That I would never get to see your radiant face again and tell you how I felt?” he rasps.

“So was I, Sanji,” you whisper back, “but I’m so glad I told you now.

#one piece x reader #x reader #sanji x reader #vinsmoke sanji x reader #black leg sanji x reader #one piece scenario #one piece fanfiction #poor little meow meow boy #at least he got a happy ending here hehe #crazy like the patsy cline song get it get it

467 notes · View notes

pupcuck · 4 months

Text

tw - sa mention, noncon mention, dark content discussed briefly but not explicitly

hi okay sorry for the unfathomable amount of bullshit clogging the tags the past few days. i keep seeing it labelled as gilfhub drama which is pissing me off as i haven’t said anything at all, i’ve stayed quiet throughout unless you follow me and read my posts. while i haven’t outwardly inserted myself into the situation im the one being witch hunted ig, i’m making one last statement which sounds way too serious for this corny and unserious situation.

anyway, i'm mostly making this for my own benefit, because i would feel more at peace after posting this lmfao. first of all, I’m being called a pedophile which is a fucking insanely serious claim to make with no concrete evidence! i’ve never written underage characters. if you’ve mistaken my ddlg content as pedophillia i beg you to get your brain checked! your skull must be so thick it couldn’t be caved in with a baseball bat. other than that i mainly write about LEGAL age gaps bc I am 19 and leon is fucking 47 as of now he is the creep actually.

i’m being called a rapist and a paedophile and all sorts of shit. im a victim of sa, it’s happened both at the hands of someone i trusted and at the hands of those i didn’t know well. some of my writing is to cope with this, none of my fics have ever romanticised rape and made it seem like something flowery and cute and fun? i don’t know who pulled that out of their ass but my fics that involve this sort of content are usually about toxic codependent relationships, it’s quite literally about trauma bonding.

this moves me onto my next point - people say this content belongs on ao3 and ao3 only. i don’t know if you’re 11 and new to the internet, to re fandom in fact, as dead dove has been a consistent theme within re fics since forever. since i was a kid i saw fics like that and even as a fucking 10 year old i managed to scroll and mind my business. tumblr has always had dead dove, when it rebranded and the guidelines changed they messed up their tagging system. this means that even if you tag tw incest it’ll remove your fic from the TAGS not from tumblr itself but from the tags as a whole. however, if you tag tw noncon your fic will stay up, it’s glitchy and dumb and shouldn’t be seen as a reliable source on why dead dove isn’t allowed on tumblr. that’s never been the case ever.

people who write dead dove don’t have to be victims and they don’t have to be mentally ill, they are also normal people with jobs who pay taxes and have normal fucking lives. because it’s simply fiction. people who read/watch american psycho are not murderers or rapists. people who watch any form slasher horror are not murderers. people who enjoy resident fucking evil and like wesker don’t fucking believe in eugenics. i could go on and on and on and on about so many different examples in extremely popular franchises.

as aforementioned, tumblr’s tagging system fucking sucks, so to combat this i give a warning even AFTER i explicitly tag my fics correctly that says ‘tumblr has started to remove fics that use tw non-con, tw incest and any nsfw tags in general. for this reason, as i’d like my fic to appear in the tags so i can have the same reach as other authors, please understand that this fic contains dark content under the cut. reading this comes at your own risk.’ for some reason I didn’t specify remove from the TAGS not from TUMBLR because tumblr doesn’t care 😭 that was totally my mistake for not checking if that disclaimer made sense but i guess i hoped the following sentence (‘as i’d like my fic to appear in the tags’) made it clear that i was simply speaking about tags. not tumblr removing my content.

if you are genuinely adults on this app, you should know that on the internet sometimes you will see things you don’t like! because it’s the internet and everyone is on here with their own opinions and their own tastes. it is YOUR responsibility to cater to your own needs by blocking content you don’t enjoy. so what another dark content blog pops up? as soon as you see a content warning you don’t like, BLOCK THE AUTHOR? or ignore it! scrolling is very simple. it’s insanely easy to mind your fucking business.

i'm kind of tired of the endless harassment both in the tags and in my inbox! if you are genuinely doing this in the name of victims and in their best interest just know you’re harming other victims in the process 😭 i am not easily triggered but the shit in my inbox is really gross and i got called a racial slur like… is fictional content that’s easy to block so deep to the point where you have to stoop that low? everyone copes how they cope, it’s not wrong and it never will be, psychologists recommend dark content as an outlet, you can literally google this. therapy is not a fix, it can’t fix mental illness. sometimes it doesn’t help. in my case counselling made everything worse. the ‘get help, get therapy’ comment comes from a place of privilege, not all of us have the money, the support system it takes to get therapy. some of us have had experiences where therapists discriminate against us. in my case that has happened, im a woc in britain they don’t care about us not about our psychical or mental health LMFAO.

im sure im missing a lot of what i originally wanted to say here, but overall i honestly wanted to clear my name of the pedo allegations lmfao because i’ve never written anything like that about underage characters or readers. anyway if any of you have a brain you can block dark content creators in a few easy steps! sorry again for yapping in such a formless, inarticulate way but i'm kind of exhausted by all the stupidity 😭

overall, dark content creators shouldn’t be allocated a little hovel in the corner of the internet in which they should privately discuss matters. we’re allowed to post it freely because CONTENT WARNINGS EXIST. dead dove will always be a thing and always has been. just because i post my content doesn’t mean it’s open for harassment and death threats and rape threats or anything? you can be an adult and get on with your day! and if you really need an outlet go talk to friends with the same opinions as you! i see ooc leon fluff all the time everyday and i don’t give a shit, i move on because leon isn’t real.

i pride myself on characterisation and if you have so obsessively read my fics to point out and circle random words in red that don’t correlate like we’re in a fucking crime show, then you would know that half the time i actually flesh out his character, i hate posting smut alone. i simply like exploring topics that are dark both to cope with my own problems and because i think they’re interesting to write about. however, as soon as something is mildly dark and sexual you guys cry mischaracterisation. leon also isn’t lighting candles and throwing rose petals but I don’t fucking judge what people write because if I don’t like I don’t read!

i promise, posting screenshots of my fics untagged with no warning is more harmful as you’re showing it to people who didn’t ask to fucking see it. i promise that harassing me will do nothing for you, you’re literally just sending vile shit to a real person who has struggled with the things she writes about LMFAO sorry again for yapping. i genuinely want to move on and post my regular shit but this has consumed the entire leon tag and i feel like im partly responsible. if you did get through this thank you! it’s mainly just ramblings and not read over so excuse me once again

#leon kennedy x you #leon s kennedy x you #leon s kennedy x reader #leon kennedy imagine #leon s kennedy smut #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy smut #resident evil x reader #resident evil smut #tw sa mention #tw discourse

159 notes · View notes

fandomsoda · 1 month

Text

So… we’ve come this far, huh?

Today is officially the one year anniversary of my time on Tumblr, and the one year anniversary of my friendship with the lovely person who is @/dinosaurzzz (the slug cat on the right is its sona!).

It is honestly incomprehensible to me that it has been a full year since I got on this site and honestly it has completely changed my life. I have grown more as a person in this year than I believe I ever have in my whole prior life combined. I have found a community where I am loved, where I am safe, and where I am given the space to learn and grow from my mistakes, and that is completely fucking invaluable to me. And I will forever thank Dino for being the final thing to push me to finally get on this site that I already figured would be perfect for me. It has been such a wild ride, and even if Tumblr has muffled the reach of my posts at the moment, I am going to scream this one from the rooftops, and try to show appreciation for everyone who has helped me along this journey.

First of all shout out to my incredible partner @wishtale-blogs, she is the love and light of my life and she truly understands me and has my back. I never, ever thought that I would meet someone who both gets me completely and contrasts me perfectly and having her in my life is something I would never trade absolutely anything for. When you’re young it seems like destiny for partnerships to fall apart simply by nature of it being so early in life, but I genuinely feel as if this is unshakable, and I’m just.. so happy to have her.

And with that I’d next like to shout out our adoptive sons, @karineverse and @the-selfmade-gods. Both of you are absolute angels, lights of my life and people that I would protect with my life. Thank you so much for being here for me and being here for all of your friends and staying strong through all you’ve been through. I’m proud of you, truly I am so proud of you and I love you as if you were my own flesh and blood.

Now, I am going to list out every single person I can think of whom I consider a friend. There will not be elaboration here as this post will be long enough as-is, but just know that I could write a blurb for each of you for why I adore you so much, some of you a whole essay. If your name is not here and you consider us friends, do not hesitate to message or ask me about it, I never want to leave people out and I know how anxiety-inducing it can be to not wind up on one of these lists with someone you care about. That being said, here are the names of all of my amazing friends, in no particular order:

@twinklesporkle, @justanidiotartist, @nyxus-nyx, @jupiter-nwn, @rib-rabbitmask, @still-got-no-idea, @liliallowed, @ashburntcat, @ponnedapple, @person-of-many-names, @itzcherrybonbon, @spamsbylee, @nevil-gonslek, @duckielikeserror, @psycho-chair, @letsatomicbanana, @starmonsterrr, @midnightstarshadow, @colorfulpaintspills, @kenopsia-ksp, @autisticseapanda, @hiro-doodlez, @cherrio-krispz, @emerald-onion, @the-save-star-anomaly, @everydaygremlin, @dreamsb0u, @skylerfurmaniac, @meimeikyu, @silly-inksans-stuff, @sketchingstars03, @shenanogram, @sargentvenipede

And with these friends, I’d also like to take a moment to thank followers of mine who I’ve never known super personally but still value immensely. I don’t truly know you guys, but you seem amazing, thank you so much for being here.

@hex0code, @cherrifruiti, @gloomywoomymoon, @atherflame-theconcubus, @neonordream, @finleyforevermore, @epicnightm, @youracecard, @pearbranch14823, @palisadewasp @wolvesbaneandbuttercups, @crunchontoast, @bloomyspring

Thank all of you so, so much. There would probably be more names but there is a mention limit of 50, so I had to cut some down. Either way, thank you all a million, you all mean so much to me and I think this day is truly going to be the start of a new beginning.

And to all the people who would have been here, the friends who should have been here but aren’t…

if it’s simply because we haven’t talked in a while, I hope you’re alright and I miss you.

but if it’s because you’ve harmed me, I still hope you’re alright and growing as a person. I’m sorry we didn’t work out and I promise I miss the you that I knew. I wish that things had happened differently, and even though you’re likely not seeing this I hope today can be the start of new beginnings for you too. Thanks for the impacts that you’ve left on me, even if those are scars. You guys have also helped make me into who I am, and without hardship it would be hard for me to learn.

Here’s to a new day, and any more lovely years to come.

#original art #digital art #blogaversary #one year on tumblr #my sona #sona art #friend’s sona

90 notes · View notes

voidarchivefiles · 10 months

Text

Ancient void practices

I went through some success stories and tagged the ones that entered the void through yoga nidra and lucid dreaming cos these two ancient practices have always fascinated me since they're deeply centred around our state of consciousness and are also known portals to out of body experiences/shifting/the void. Read them if you need some motivation! Also see my recent post on lucid dreaming if you're interested in entering the void through that.

Anyway, if you have doubts about the void, I think a great anchor is leaning into practices that have roots dating back to ancient times and researching them and of course, reading more widely than just Tumblr. When you do this, you'll know that this state isn't something that was invented by Tumblr and has existed since.. forever because well, it's pure consciousness lol. And the void/turiya/samadhi has been known way before Neville's time. From my research, it's the main goal of yoga practitioners as well but they pursue it for the purpose of enlightenment and peace as opposed to manifesting desires.

The rest of this post is a dump of interesting excerpts from my research on yoga, samadhi and turiya and its links to manifesting, reality shifting and the void state. You can also do your own research although there's no need to overdo it :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This extract seems to be talking about reality shifting/manifesting/instant creation. I am curious on where we could learn more about yogis doing this!

Trapped in Your Own World Many yogis have created their own worlds and been trapped in realities like this. I am going into an area which is a twilight zone, but there are many yogis who have created their own world around themselves. A yogi goes into a cave and actually creates his own universe and lives there. This is not a joke. He creates everything that he wants – his own kind of planets, his own kind of earth, his own kind of everything – and lives there very happily. A universe is contained inside the cave. You can create a whole universe in an atom’s space because “here and there” and “this much and that much” are a creation of the mind. There are many yogis like this, but they are no closer to realization than you. He lives in a different world, that is all. He is probably more caught up than you, because he is also the creator. He has learned the art of creation. This does not become an ultimate release. This just becomes a different kind of action, a different way of doing things. An artist draws a new world on a canvas. A yogi actually creates it. The artist’s creation is two-dimensional, whereas the yogi’s is three-dimensional. This is more deceptive. An artist can get so involved in the world he is creating that he starts believing it is true, and it is true for him. A poet believes that whatever he writes is the truth. Similarly, a painter deeply involved in what he is doing believes what he is painting is the truth. When two-dimensional things are like this, if you create three-dimensional things around yourself, you are definitely going to be more caught up with them. Source

To be honest, I have no idea what the difference is between samadhi and turiya in yoga terms. I tried looking into it but it's still not clear to me. If you research into both terms, they come up with very similar definitions.

Yoga nidra and the void (turiya)

By means of Yoga Nidra, skilled practitioners seek to access Turiya, not just when in meditation or absorbed samadhi states, but in all variations of consciousness- encompassing waking, dreaming and deep sleep. They seek lucidity in all states. Yoga Nidra is a powerful practice that guides us beyond mind and in fact turns mind upon itself where its obscuring nature is dissolved to reveal the inner Light that is perennially Bright, with eyes closed or open. Source

What is turiya?

Source: Radiant Rest: Yoga Nidra for Deep Relaxation and Awakened Clarity by Tracee Stanley

Turiya is not a state apart from the grosser states but pervades all levels of reality as superconsciousness. Ramana Maharshi interprets turiya as the natural state that permeates the other states, the only whole reality. The Mandukya Upanishad discusses turiya as pure consciousness, which is indescribable, incomprehensible, and unthinkable by the mind, but ultimately realized as the one true self. Source

The four states of consciousness are jagrat, svapna, shushupti and turiya. Jagrat is waking consciousness, svapna is the dream consciousness, shushupti is the deep sleep consciousness and turiya is higher consciousness which is beyond all previous states. Entering the state of turiya requires inner silence. It can be achieved when the mind is free of mental blocks and bondages with time and space. The goal of yoga and meditation is to achieve turiya, where oneness is felt with the universe. Source

There are three states only, the waking, dream and sleep. Turiya is not a fourth one; it is what underlies these three. But people do not readily understand it. Therefore it is said that this is the fourth state and the only Reality. In fact it is not apart from anything, for it forms the substratum of all happenings; it is the only Truth; it is your very Being. The three states appear as fleeting phenomena on it and then sink into it alone. Therefore they are unreal. Source

#void state #lucid dreaming #yoga nidra #my posts

359 notes · View notes

jayenator565 · 6 months

Text

My Tanthamore Comfort Fics

We were talking about comfort fics in the Tanthamore discord and I realized I have too many for a normal sized reply, so here's a tumblr post instead. In no particular order i've reread these fics...maybe too many times.

I'm just gonna list em by author cause that's easier. Keep in mind we may have different definitions of the word comfort.

@commanderbuffy

650 ft2 - Ok so like envision these girls have been best friends for forever and they've been secretly pining for ages, no sense of personal space, they can read eachother like books AND they were roommates!

The Tanthamore Affair - This fic has everything, one bed, fake dating, celeb au, the fic that changed the meaning of a certain emoji and all the tropes you could want really

@badlance

We've got to find other ways to make it together - this one line says all you need to know

"It is the greatest irony of Jade Claymore’s life to be a certified genius who is nevertheless in love with an idiot."

@spybrarian

More Than Just Survival - as far as 5+1 fics go this one has me in a CHOKEHOLD

I scream at your chest for as long as I must

one night at the start of the end of the world

@ilovemyships (i think you need an AO3 account to read these gems)

you won't believe it (they think we're lovers)

don't wanna pressure (but friends don't kiss friends)

@acre-of-wheat - Acre's way with words should be studied

Network Connectivity Issues - I have never related to a character more than I relate to this Jade

The Dark

The Bite

@jlmichigan

Out of the Cuirass - one of the first tanthamore fics I ever read actually and I still come back to it every so often

@stbot

lay down your armor (come lie bare with me) - saintbot has a catalogue lemme tell ya but this one for tanthamore is just so heartwarming

@overkill-max

Escaping Fate - the Kit runs away fic that everyone needs

Dil3mma (idk their tumblr right now sorry)

A Sword And A Shield (And Everything In Between)

Deja-Brew - the loveliest coffee shop one shot

Jad3dEt3rnal (idk if they have a tumblr either)

This Daydream is Dangerous - cuddly vampire Jade, need I say more?

ana_chronistic (idk if they have a tumblr either x3)

Oops. I proposed. - fake dating x 100, fake proposal it's like fake dating to the next level and I love the growth of communication and pacing in this.

@barmaid-anon

do what you feel now

you want a good girl that does bad things (to you)

fulfill (an obligation) or keep (an arrangement)

we simply don't have time to unpack why these are comfort fics, we're just going to accept it and keep going.

@thecsquirrel

Sword and Shield - I love this look at what post S1 life could have been like for the gang, revisiting Nockmaar, seeing Galladoorn, getting into the evil Elora storyline with Graydon, spending more time with the Nelwyn and in the Wildwood it's just everything

@wigster07

What a pleasant surprise - a fic of one of my other comfort fics, I know it's like fic-ception in the best way possible. If you liked Tanthamore Affair I have an inkling this will be right up your alley

@isabrella @jade-claymore @allthefakepeople @resurrecho

those rumors they have big teeth - BAND AU need I say more? I don't need to but i'm going to, this fic has everything Kit and Jade in a band, Kit's leather pants, gay-ifying songs, MAMA MIA, totally gay best friends who have basically been dating for years but won't admit to it, Jade gets to be a bit problematic as a treat, inner band fighting, what more can you want?

@swashbucklery

meet you where the spirit meets the bones (tanthamore 90s werewolf au) - its a SERIES of these repressed gay DORKS and they're werewolves, there's such a charming way to how this author writes them I legit can't even with these two gays

@onlyshestandsthere

these walls come tumbling down - look, we don't have time to unpack why there's so many were-related supernatural esque fics on my comfort list and I know this is only 2 chapters in but I can already feel the comfort in all the hurt ok I dont even have to wait I already know i'm gonna be rereading this like monthly

I'm gonna have to stop there even though I know i'm still missing some! If someone asked me what my favorites are we'd be here all day XD

#tanthamore #tanthamore fics #fic recs #jade claymore #kit tanthalos #willow #willow 2022

140 notes · View notes

sexy-sea-basss · 5 months

Text

I’ve been tagged in to many posts and i am so truly honored. it’s taken me a hot minute to process the fact that several of you have acknowledged me. i’ve been struggling with my insecurities and believing people actually like me. This means so much to me. Thank you! (when i tell you i might’ve cried and been emotional since, well, i have cried and have been emotional)

i never thought id be back on tumblr but here i am. funny what one silly little satanic band can do. I’ve been here a short while but i’ve met so many great people, and i wish to meet more. i’m just shit at starting conversations haha

This year has been pretty good to me, generally speaking. Emotionally, it’s been a rollercoaster. It got a little rocky towards the end but thanks to a lot of wonderful people here, you’ve all made life exciting and brought me joy.

While i don’t talk to many of you often, or at all, i am very thankful you’ve entered my life in some way and have made it better. Whether through art or your writing, or simply just existing on my dash, thank you.

Forever grateful for you all and i love you so much.

@swissndewdrop @jazz-bazz @hypnoneghoul @jesusbutbetterrr @jimothybarnes @littlemoon-beam @gottagho-st @orcaog @callmeghoulshit @mac-and-thefox @obsidianghoul @amara-among-the-stars @divine-misfortune @kamonart @p1nkcanoe @forlorn-crows @rainyhoursinhell @sphylor @herbal-quintessence @ghoultrifle @iamthecomet @chapel-of-rizztual

and im positive im missing people! i’m not good at remembering 😭😭

much love and forehead kisses

#very thankful for all of you #luci gets mushy

57 notes · View notes

corvuscorona · 4 months

Text

"You Never Forget Your First Love."

The other day, a mutual (hi! you know who you are I think probably hello hi! thank you for the Posting Impetus!) said something that made me curious (for, like, the 80th time, actually; lol. I Have Thoughts) about something: what's the split on people who subscribe to the "Stranger of Paradise probably intended for us to believe that Jack & Sarah were in love" mindset, vs. not? In general, but ESPECIALLY around these parts.

I genuinely didn't read it that way myself (& I do NOT normally give media (general) this much credit, but the writing in this game is sublime; I had no choice but to fully engage Scholar Mode on it), + I think it's interesting that SPECIFICALLY any of my fellow tumblr people / AO3-heads / Gay People Online / etc. seem to have. (I expect nothing from people who haven't been basting themselves in the same online sub-subcultures as me for over a decade. They're allowed to write wrong things on wikis, and have done so already; it's whatever.)

I wanna metapost badly again, so let's go. Join me. No poll. If you have an opinion on this, I'm looking directly into your eyes and beckoning you towards your own keyboard + also the reblog button / comment section, like a weird ghost. What did you think when you first played the game?? What do you think right now? What are you about to think after you have read a bunch of my words. Tell Me. I Need To Know This.

Spoilers for, idk, everything? Today we will use everything we've got to talk about Princess Sarah.

1. As a Narrative Element

This game makes a point of referring to Sarah as things like "a symbol of hope and peace" as often as possible, & when it isn't doing that she's usually in the role of An Object Or Device Of Some Kind, anyway. She's important because she's capable of holding light and dark in balance & SOMEONE'S gotta hold onto this dark crystal for safekeeping, and also we're gonna need to upset that balance on purpose later. There's that conversation in the Wicked Arbor about whether the Strangers would "choose" her (as opposed to "treasure") as the "reward" for succeeding in their mission[1], & there's the one in the Sunken Shrine where Jed asks Jack what he thinks of her and Jack says that he doesn't care about her as a person[2] BUT that protecting her is mission-critical (lol), too.

Sarah's death is metaphorically charged. It's the point of no return: the dark crystal breaks, the balance of light & dark gets extremely ruined, & Literally All The Darkness In Cornelia converges in one place (Fool's Missive XXVII). That's the payoff for the "symbol of hope and peace" motif, and communicating this idea that "the metaphorical light of hope just For Real Died, Like Catastrophically Imploded, No Take-Backs" feels to me like it was the highest priority here. Second-highest goes to "Jack had way more humanity before, but he set it aside on purpose and is actively in the middle of losing the rest of it." "Sort of." "I'm not getting into what counts as humanity or doesn't because if I did we would be here forever."

Basically, I'm saying that the tidiest read on the situation is "Jack despairs because Sarah dying means in a very literary and final way that everything is ruined forever, which doesn't necessarily have anything to do with, like, Love (romantic)." I don't think the text of the game is particularly signaling that Love (romantic) is involved, and I think that if it meant to, it would be more obvious about it. You could bundle "an romance" into the "humanity" thing if you wanted to, but I'm not inclined to, based on some additional list items that you can read below this one.

[1] The fact that Neon ALSO says she feels bad for her for being thought of in this way only reinforces my conviction that the game is pointing at Sarah & yelling "REMEMBER THAT SHE IS MOSTLY A SYMBOL!", tbh. Who wants to go point out how freaky the mechanics of Being An Royalty are w/ me and the boys??

[2] I will give the Wiki WrongPosters this: I can totally see this as some kind of irony thing, given that he's still missing like a fucktillion of his memories when he says it. However! As mentioned above, I have other reasons not to read it as evidence that he was ever, like, romantically interested in her.

2. As a Sheltered Youth™

We don't have a TON of information to work with RE: Sarah as, like, a person, but here are a couple of hard facts to start with: she's 19 (per the data book, but she'd have to be somewhere in the 18-to-early-20's age range regardless or her whole deal wouldn't really make much sense, imo. She's a baby...!), and she's royalty. I think this ties into her utility as a walking metaphor, among other things; she's archetypically young, fresh, & idealistic. I'd call her naïve but the game obviously isn't interested in portraying it as a weakness, so positive words only; why not.

You could argue that people look to her as a symbol of hope because she hasn't directly experienced enough strife to exhibit hopelessness or fear in response to bad news in the abstract. I find it interesting that before Jack, like, knocks the wind out of her & tells Sophia to take her outside so she can see for herself how bad things have gotten at the end of the game, she says that her duty is to die with her people if she has to, & it doesn't even seem to occur to her that she could lead at least some of them away to safety...? When she changes her mind, she still talks about herself as a symbol before she ever uses the word "leader". She sees HERSELF in terms of symbols and metaphors, and takes action based on her designated role As One Of Those. Not very practical.

There's also the dialogue you can have with the queen the first time you're allowed to run around in the throne room at the beginning of the game, where she asks Jack to smile in front of her daughters (NOT just Mia; daughters, plural). Even if she only means "dude can you be polite please," the fact that this is The thing she has to say to Jack is telling. Is it going to upset your 19-year-old daughter to see that the Guy Whose Job It Is To Kill Monsters looks serious? Why do you think this? Does your 19-year-old daughter understand how serious the situation is, generally speaking? Do you not WANT her to for some reason? Boats don't work anymore unless a weird elf messes with them first. Not thinking very hard about the implications of this is something a sheltered person does.

Residual time loop un-memories aside, a young woman in this situation is so obviously going to have a huge crush on Jack Garland no matter what. He Is So Cool, first of all, & he's also Different from the adult men she gets to see on an everyday basis (family, guards, rando townspeople[3]...). It's not like the political social scene could POSSIBLY be thriving in this world, either; it all seems to be one kingdom we're dealing with and they're kind of busy with the external threat of being Under Fucking Attack By Monsters. Does she even get fun treats like "handsome visiting dignitaries" & what-have-you? The game doesn't present us with any potential options, here. Jack is mysterious, he has special-boy Warrior of Light status, his one job & apparent life's purpose is protecting the kingdom she loves, he's pretty nice to her (even in later cycles he at least goes out of his way to be polite!), & additionally, he's shredded. THIS makes sense to me.

There's a Q&A in the data book that has something to say about JACK as a symbol & what that has to do with this whole thing but we'll get there. We'll get there.

[3] Tangent: what's up with how Cornelia's entire adult male population appears to consist of aging queens. Why did they only make models that look Like That for the NPCs? It's awesome but I have 1 quastion

3. JACK JUMPSCARE !

I'm not about to say that he's just humoring her, or anything, but please humor ME for one second & put yourself in Jack's shoes. Not the default shoes; we can have more fun than that. Maybe the Banded Boots. Blurple ones? Shaped like a cartoon would wear them? Big spikes on the back for no reason? I love those things. Anyway, you're Jack. You're working for literally the king, & the work means Everything to you for reasons you can't even necessarily explain except to say that it JUST does. The king's eldest daughter (very young adult; Never Been Outdoors; a little overly-sociable but nice enough & what do you expect from a princess, anyway) has imprinted on you like a duckling for whatever reason. You would be nice to this person, yes? You'd be patient with her while you're in town. You have Brutal Murders to be doing, but not until, like, 2 days from now, or whatever; you're sharing space with her in some capacity in the meantime & it's in your best interests to keep her happy. (You probably even enjoy doing this, if you're Jack of a Way Earlier Cycle; I'm in no way ruling that out. Sharing your music collection with an enthusiastic Baby Adult? That's fun. I think he was probably having fun. Okay, you can step out of the fun purple shoes if you want; the Humoring Me Minute has concluded; thanks.)

Also, @2000sanimeop and I think that if Jack felt that way about her Astos would have been a little More Something about how much it was gonna suck for him when she died. In Fool's Missive XXVII he uses the word "painful," but that's about it. He doesn't even bring it up in XXV, which is the one where he says he's curious about whether she'd survive being turned into a fiend (side note: Astos fucking rocks. Why did he write that down?? I love him). & Hey SPEAKING OF ASTOS,

4. I wouldn't put Jackstos on a wiki, either.

The writing in Stranger of Paradise, SERIOUSLY, WITHOUT EXAGGERATION, is some of the best I've seen in literally anything ever. It suits not just its medium but also its sort of Place in History Relative to Other Video Games & the things it chose to DO with that medium & that niche INSANELY well. It is CUSTOMIZED. It's SO INTENTIONAL. I can't get too far into this or we'll be here all day, but the essence of what I want to say here is: there are relatively few facts presented to us by this game, compared to the implications we can go about drawing from those facts & other, external sources of context.

Sarah calls Jack her first love; that's a fact. No facts are presented to us that REALLY say much one way or the other[4] about what Jack thinks of this, himself; "fucktillion memories missing" Jack says he doesn't care, but he's missing a fucktillion of his memories, and DLC2 Jack has a set of dialogue options (hi Anne the Malboro I love you Anne the Malboro) that can point either way depending on what the player chooses, which is kind of nothing, on balance. As the audience, we can (should!) draw whatever conclusion we want about it, but none of those conclusions are text.

[4] I WILL GET TO THE DATA BOOK IN ONE SECOND. HOLD ON.

And, okay, please let me level with you. Let's be on the same page. Jack & Astos had some kind of thing going on, imo, OBVIOUSLY, but I want to be CLEAR and I want to get CREDIT for the things I'M bringing to the table to help generate this conviction. I drew that conclusion & I read that reading based on subtext, context, personal history, personal preference, & sheer gay zest for life. It is also, emphatically, NOT TEXT.

Astos refers to Jack with the ol' "...friend" in Fool's Missive XXI. He calls him "my Jack" in Fool's Missive XXXI. Canonically, textually, he has some big fucking COMPLICATED fucking feelings about this man. These are facts. If you're playing this game as Some Guy, I can see how you could potentially absorb these facts & still pay them much less regard[5] than I did & continue to. My argument here is that god I wish I lived in a world where Some Guy could extend the same courtesy to me and not treat Sarah's textual affection for Jack as something that necessarily indicates Some Kind Of Reciprocal Romantic Whatever, Definitely, Obviously, Of Course.

[5] Longer Tangent: I have been informed that the Some Guys of the world are currently pretty good at Recognizing a character that behaves in a way that's Pretty Gay, but tend to stop there, possibly for the combined reasons that A. they're not very familiar with a lot of the the ways gay relationships often work (you know, soul resonance. mutual recognition. sharing a brain etc.) and B. the Object Of Affection is usually the player character and they subconsciously shy away from thinking of a Guy They're Supposed To Identify With as gay. This is practically a lead-in to an entire separate post I could make, so I'll leave it at that, lol.

The writing is too good for that kind of assumption! I'M SERIOUS!! It's mind-blowingly subtle & endlessly fascinating to hold up to the light & view from every possible angle, and "Jack & Sarah were in love" + "Jack & Astos were in love" are BOTH ANGLES. I'm personally very very interested in giving the text credit for that. I think it's impressive. I think it's really, really cool, and I think it was on purpose. Speaking of which,

5. Word of God agrees with me, btw

This is from the Q&A section on page 156 of the Confidential File. The translations below are my own (I think they're straightforward enough, but lmk if you know more than me & I'm actually being stupid in there somewhere. Alt text has the JPN, if you want to copypaste it or something). Someone asked:

Why is it that you established Garland as someone Sarah has a romantic interest in?

The answer is from Daisuke Inoue (director, one of 3; the other 2 are from Team Ninja; he's from Square Enix):

That was because, from a narrative standpoint, we wanted Sarah to be the kind of person who holds onto hope. You can imagine that she saw the "hope" to save the world in Jack, a potential Warrior of Light. Sarah is seen by her people as a symbol of a bright future, but if there were nobody to give her hope, that might destabilize her emotionally. As for whether she felt genuine love for Jack, or just mistook her feelings of admiration towards him for "first love," we'll leave that to your interpretation.

The first time I read this, I thought the question was implying the aforementioned Reciprocal Something, but on closer inspection that doesn't even seem to be true! "思い人" seems to indicate a directional relationship; as in, the question assumes that Jack is an object of affection to Sarah, but assumes nothing about what Jack thinks.

Also, the answer uses the word "初恋" (hatsukoi), which is a very established Concept as far as "first love" goes, but in that one cutscene, Sarah says "初めての恋" (hajimete no koi), which is. Different, but I couldn't tell you how, lol. It's Not The Exact Same Phrase, but I'm not sure whether it's meaningfully different in this context. If I had to guess, I'd say that IF ANYTHING it could be a way of saying "first love" without invoking the cultural CONSTRUCT of First Love (as much)? But it's whatever. The localization holds up. All sources show that Sarah had Feelings about Jack, and all sources CONSPICUOUSLY neglect to mention Jack's feelings about her.

It was on purpose. This is my license to be as annoying as I want for one second here. I am right. All the other writing in this game is notably subtle, efficient, intentional, and skilled, AND ALSO, WHEN do you ever see anyone write such a richly beautiful, mostly-subtextual relationship between two men, which can easily be read as a romantic thing, and NOT explicitly canonize a very possible romantic relationship between at least one of those men and a woman, like not even in an interview or anything. What the fuck, man.

I'm putting away the Respectable Scholar Hat now. This is so funny. The person asking this question didn't EVEN go as far as assuming Jack & Sarah had any kind of Actual Romance going on, & the answer STILL dials it back to "she might have been conflating her feelings about Jack AS A SYMBOL with actual affection, also. We'll let you decide : ) ". This game is everything ever.

#stranger of paradise #that's it that's the only tag. there's enough words under that readmore for anyone&everyone. happy weekend!!!

48 notes · View notes

that-angry-noldo · 14 days

Text

war of wrath tumblr dashboard simulator lets go

🦚nosheepherd Follow

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE WEST HAS SENT THEIR AID

🐈meowcat Follow

screaming op we've literally been involved in a full scale war for 10 years already?? do you live under a rock or 😭

🦚nosheepherd Follow

bestie if you think i have left my hiding in the last 20 years for longer than 15 minutes you vastly overestimate my courage 😭 #at least they have food?? #also yes im alive lol sorry for not posting for. checks notes. last 30 years? #i LITERALLY live under a rock #hello beloved mutuals i missed you

(239 notes)

🥔thatonesinda Mutuals

does anyone have any cooking tips for when you have literally zero food in the house lol? we've been managing well but our home was raided a few days ago (we're all well thankfully) and well. everything edible is gone #kinda panicking over here 😬😬 #we'll probably last for a while but im afraid we'll have to leave soon #ive heard some of our armies are going nearby i think the best decision will be to stick to them #sigh. all of this would be so much easier if parents were around #lara talks #mutuals does anyone have a couch me and my siblings can crash at lol

(5 notes)

🏹herothevaliant Mutuals

she jumped on my sword til i

🏹herothevaliant

fuck

🏹herothevaliant

guys this is so embarassing my commander was literally staying behind me while i was typing. i was on duty im so fucked

🏹herothevaliant

STOP REBLOGGING THIS MY CAPTAIN IS ON THIS WEBSITE IF THEY SEE THIS I SWEAR TO ERU

🌌forestbranch Follow

hey 🙂

🏹herothevaliant

FUCK #WHY THE FUCK ARE ELVES SO QUIET #AAAAAH #please don't fire me

(11.2k notes)

For you!

🏺coolshitifound

🖼️ [image]

[Image ID: Lord Eönwë during the battle. He is pictured mid-swing, surrounded by numerous foes, all with varying levels of terror upon their faces. Lord Eönwë is covered in blood with a scowl on his face. He is swinging his greatsword at the nearest enemy, who wears a terrified expression. End Image ID]

🧉starspraylatte Follow

i think i hauve black death #🥵🥵🥵 #not very religious but y'know what #i would get on my knees for him

(58 notes)

🌠wanderingstranger Following

. #fucking hell #i'm so fucking sick #attended a mutual's funeral today #and a close irl friend is gone without trace #and i'm not sure whether it's a comfort that i didn't feel her die #fuck #this is so unfair #im so fucking sick of this war #and each day it's harder to believe this will ever be over #im not sure for how much longer i can go on #i have a bow #maybe i should join someone on the battlefield #at least death will find me not by my own hand #vent #to delete

(4 notes)

Because you follow #lord eönwë

🌺wistfuldaydreamer Follow

With You, Forever

Pairings: Lord Eönwë x Reader

Warnings: RPF, discussion of death, sadness, heartbreak

Summary: After narrowly evading death on the battlefield, you face your lover.

A/N: sorry for not updating! my family was on a run from goblin raiders, didn't have much time for writing lmao 🥲 i hope you enjoy!

Keep Reading

#lord eönwë #lord eönwë x reader #host of the west x reader #rpf #lord eönwë fanfiction #lord eönwë imagine

(138 notes)

🦀crabinthetree Mutuals

can't believe y'all are thirsting over those amanyar losers while our lord and saviour king ereinion gil-galad and our god and father lord círdan the shipwright are LITERALLY RIGHT THERE #fucking disappointed in y'all #1k #5k #10k #keep reblogging this don't be cowards

(12.4k notes)

⚫rosemary-in-the-wild-deactivated-0134563

no but why are king finarfin and manwë's herald kinda 😳😳😳 like am i the only one sensing some er strong male friendship going on orrrrrrr

🪵treecutter Follow

NO WAY THEY GOT DEACTIVATED TWO HOURS AFTER MAKING THIS POST

🌿olive-in-the-wild Following

they hated me because i was telling the truth 😔

🍆guyhaver Follow

people having "orcs dni" in their bio is so insensitive. like not only there are orcs who activelly suffer under lord melkor's rule but there are also those who fight on the side of the free people like wtf.

🍠friedtentacles Follow

i agree op but also why is it always orcs lol. like no one is putting werewolves ghouls vampires and other creatures of night on their lists lmao

🪭birdinbirch Follow

updating my dni list brb 🙂

🍆guyhaver Follow

@Staff why the FUCK is behavior like this allowed on this site. i swear to almighty #blocked and reported #istg one day i will quit this website #mutuals hold my hands we'll get through it together

(34 notes)

#silmarillion #silmarillion memes #war of wrath #eönwë #finarfin #made a silly :)

24 notes · View notes

agustdiv1ne · 4 months

Text

honestly? it could've been worse.

lots of things happened in 2023, both good and bad, in real life and on this hellsite. i feel like i've started to hone in on my voice as a writer this year, and my creativity and motivation just seemed to skyrocket for absolutely no reason. it's been fun sharing my work with you guys, and i'm forever grateful for all the love and support i have received <3 furthermore, thank you so so much for 4k followers!!!!! i never thought i would reach such a milestone, so it truly means a lot :')

there's a lot i wish i could have done during 2023 that i didn't end up doing, but i think it is best to focus on what i did accomplish and use that as a stepping stone towards better things. also, there were a lot of times where i didn't feel content with where and who i was. right now, however, i can confidently say that i am happy; i am hoping that happiness will be abundant for everyone in 2024! we all deserve it!!

furthermore, everyone worked hard, so i hope you all give yourself some grace in order to recharge and reset. taking breaks is paramount in maintaining your health and happiness, and i'm glad i learned that it's okay for me to take them lol.

so happy new year everyone! i hope 2024 brings many wonderful things your way, and may we all have a lovely year!! <33

to: @gummygowon 🖤

MAIIII hi ilysm <333 i can't believe we've been friends for 3 years like that's fucking crazy. we have both been THROUGH it over the years but i'm so glad that we've always been able to talk to each other about the crazy shit that happens to both of us 😹 like idk who else i could talk about it with honestly. we are seriously like the same person which is so wild to me but i'm also so grateful for it fr!! i would trust you with my life methinks...also talking about fic ideas with you is so fucking fun. our brainstorming sessions go crazy fr ‼️ ANYWAYS i need to stop being sappy so i love you bitch and we WILL meet up this year or else i will riot!!! happy new year <3

to: @lunalovesstories 🖤

lunaaaa hii!!!! my fellow yeonjun stan, we feel the same pain and suffering whenever he is wilding LOL </3 also i feel like we became close super fast hehe ^^ i'm so glad that we became friends this year and i am forever grateful for you and how kind and supportive and overall amazing you are. becoming moots and friends with you was definitely one of my highlights of 2023!! our daily conversations are something i always look forward to no matter how short or long they are; i truly love talking with you and i hope we can continue to get closer this year :) happy new year! <33

to: @cheolhub 🖤

SAR!!!! ik you haven't been super active as of late so i hope you've been well <3 you are genuinely so cool and i love you sm. i think i screamed when we became moots and then when we started actually talking to each other i screamed even more...embarrassing. well anyways moving on! you are so fucking funny and i love hearing about what you're up to whenever you reappear on disc. you singlehandedly made me reconsider my bias line in svt bc cheol is currently infiltrating it </3 also lmk if you ever need me to fight that girl bc i will do it. no questions asked. seriously though, i hope you're thriving in the year of 2024, happy new year <3

to: @toruro 🖤

mika mika mika hiiiii ^^ you are crazy in the best way tbh, i aspire to be as unhinged as you are...LMAO moving on, you are hella kind and such a fun person to talk to! i love hearing about what you get up to bc it's usually funny af. like. you are just so real. you are such a bright spot on tumblr, please never change because you are amazing and ilysm <3 also your writing is insane. i always start gnawing on my leg when i see that you posted bc i know it's gonna be a banger!!!! you never miss!!!!!!! okay anyways ily again and i hope you have a happy new year <3

to: @prodsh00ky 🖤

hi sam!!!!!!! i hope you've been doing well <3 i know our convos are sporadic af but i always enjoy talking to you and hearing all of your updates! i just think you're so cool and i always get so excited whenever i see you pop up in my messages. i also love talking about writing with you because you understand my pain LOL. i know you're quite busy so i hope everything in your life is going well!! i also hope that 2024 brings you great things because you truly deserve it :) happy new year!!!

to: @koqabear 🖤

sol....my enemy >:( i will not forget all of those assassination attempts that you tried on me throughout 2023. trust me, i won't. JK ANYWAYS HFJHHFDJ you are like the coolest most awesome person on this website to me and i am so grateful that we are friends <3 also grateful that we started talking this year after being moots for a long while. i've always wanted to talk to you tbh so i'm glad i stopped being a weak little bitch and finally did it 😹 i will always go insane over your fics and write like a 2k word essay in response each time, so i hope that doesn't bother you...i will not be stopping though so ig it doesn't matter.......anyways, happy new year!! here's to another year on this hellsite <3

to: @boba-beom 🖤

smiles!!! you are such a ray of light on my dash, i swear i always smile when i see that you've posted. i know we don't talk all that often but i genuinely am so grateful that we are mooties n friends :> you are one of my longest moots, and i am so glad that you have stayed on here as long as you have because idk what i would do without you fr <3 you are so talented and kind and just a wonderful person to be around! happy new year!! may you be happy n healthy this year <33

and to all of my lovely mutuals: @nightlyawnzz @wolfytae-exe @aduh0308 @hyuk4ngel @dearlyjun @takemehye @mazeinthemoon @tyunkus @mixtape-racha @huckleberrykai @naomiarai @hyukalyptus @mapofthemazeinthemirror @taegimood @blackhairedjjun @txtistheloml @heart2beom @majestyjun @fairyofshampgyu @ttyunz @huenation @cherrypeeking @tyungelic @ncteez @peachanonie @hyewka @heartchoi @beom-pyu @petrichor-han @hoshiseon @strawbrinkofdeath @delcakoo @beoms-sugar @minastras @0x11s @hwasdollie @mimziie @baekhvuns @wooyukh @venusiangguk @ah-ga-seven @jimilter @ateezmakemeweep

hello and happy new year!! i hope all of you doing well and that 2024 is treating you well so far :) no matter how much/little we interact, please know that i am so happy to be sharing this space with you ^^ that being said, i hope we can interact more this year!!! (i promise i will try to be less shy,, the keyword here is try) you are all amazing people and i love you all mwahhh <333

🖤 — january

27: give me more (m) — yeonjun ; est. relationship au, pwp

🩶 — february

regrettably empty :(

🤍 — march

23: 10:52 p.m. — soobin ; college au, introverts at a party

🖤 — april

04: frat boy!yeonjun

07: confession — chan ; best friends to lovers au + self-care (m) — seonghwa ; est. relationship au, soft smut

08: corruption (m) — hyunjin ; est. relationship au, corruption kink

11: stormy night (m) — seonghwa ; est. relationship au, hwa vs. your fear of storms (he wins)

13: industry lovers — yeonjun ; strangers to lovers au, idol!reader

16: guitar lesson — beomgyu ; best friends to lovers au

21: 2:54 p.m. — taehyun ; college lab partner au

🩶 — may

09: picnic date with boyfriend!yeonjun

16: brother's best friend (m) — yunho ; the au is the title lmfao + 10:21 p.m. (m) — soobin ; est. relationship au, car sex + early mornings with boyfriend!yeonjun

19: vacationing with boyfriend!yeonjun

27: 8:02 p.m — hueningkai ; jack frost au

28: cowboy!yeonjun (m-ish)

🤍 — june

01: double trouble (m) — hongjoong + seonghwa ; poly au

03: 9:05 p.m. (m) — yeonjun ; plane sex pt.1

06: 9:23 p.m. (m) — yeonjun ; plane sex pt.2

13: the horrors — yeonjun ; est. relationship au, horror actress!reader

23: txt finding out you have an onlyfans (m)

24: late night outing with boyfriend!soobin

26: dry humping (m) — minho ; pwp

🖤 — july

04: meeting odi for the first time with boyfriend!soobin

08: 12:43 a.m. (m) — yeonjun ; best friends to lovers au + best friend!txt finding out you write smut about them online

started my 3k event: love like the movies!! (which is still ongoing. i'm so sorry)

13: 3k event — yeonjun + howl's moving castle (m)

17: 3k event — beomgyu + titanic (m)

24: 3k event — taehyun + twilight (m)

31: 3k event — hueningkai + enchanted

🩶 — august

05: 11:01 p.m. (m) — yeonjun ; rockstar au + 3k event — soobin + the avengers

11: 11:58 p.m. (m) — yeonjun + taehyun ; stoner fratboys au

26: 3k event — taehyun + the proposal (m)

🤍 — september

02: 3k event — beomgyu + the devil wears prada (m)

12: ticket to nowhere (but your heart) (m) — yeonjun ; strangers to lovers au

21: untitled (m) — beomgyu ; college au, tutor!reader

22: untitled (m) — taehyun ; college au, nerd!taehyun

🖤 — october

03: telepathy (m) — beomgyu ; mind reader au

23: 3:13 a.m. (m) — beomgyu ; vampire au

🩶 — november

07: 9:51 p.m. (m) — soobin ; serial killer au

🤍 — december

started my 4k event: finish my 3k event LMAO

🖤 — writing plans

get my 3k (and now 4k?) event done (#1 priority after i finish my current soobin wip)

rings of saturn (tear me apart) (m) — taehyun ; college au, friends to lovers au

going under (m) — taehyun + kai ; surfers!tyunning, summer fling au

and they were roommates! (m) — choi line ; college au, new roommate!reader

cross (m) — yeonjun ; cyberpunk au, cyborg!yeonjun

wait on me — kai ; college au, cafe au

the language of love (and the woes that accompany it) — beomgyu ; soulmate au

love, unabridged — soobin ; single dad au, neighbors to lovers au

adagio (m) — yoongi ; second chance at romance au

art incarnate (m) — namjoon + seokjin ; cursed!seokjin, museum curator!namjoon, love triangle

and many many more..........you will see. this is just a taste >:)

🩶 — goals for this blog + myself

interact with more ppl! and more often!!

write 150k words?? we'll see...

write longer fics!!

plan a collab event ^^ i've always wanted to host one, and i think this year is the year!

that was long as hell (sorry)...anyways! once again, happy new year!! love you all <3

- ashlee

p.s. check out my 2023 fic recs post here :)

#tumblr is being wonky so i made a separate recs post </3 #also this is a wee bit late but pls ignore that #2023 wrap up #apologies if i missed anyone :(

37 notes · View notes

lis-likes-fics · 2 years

Text

Mirror, Mirror*

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader Word Count: 7.2k Warnings: NSFW, smut, unprotected sex, fingering, finger sucking, deepthroat (with fingers), ungodly use of Eddie’s rings, breast play, slight hair pulling, praise kink, idk if this counts for voyeurism, slight dacryphilia, aftercare... A/N: Idk why this took me about a month to finish, but here it is! I hope you enjoy reading this filthy oneshot about Eddie that was soley inspired by him and his rings and his hands. I had to repost this because the first time got like.... nothing on it, and I think Tumblr just started messing with my posts or something, so here it is again. Happy reading! Enjoy and leave plenty of feedback/comments!

How it happened, you'll never know.

You just know that the position you find yourself in is a position you hope to repeat sometime in the near, near future.

"It's another right, Steve!" You roll your eyes at him for having to give directional aid.

"I got it! Jeez," he huffs and shakes his head. He pulls into the parking lot of the Hideout, eyeing the building with a skeptical look. "This place?"

"Yeah," you nod, grabbing your bag to pull over your head, "come on." You look at him and tilt your head, "Don't look like that. It'll be great!"

Eddie was having one of his shows tonight. It is the first one you have ever been to. Eddie had to be there early to set up, so you made Steve take you and insisted he watch the show, too. He agreed only because he wanted to support his friend with his best friend...but also because you threatened to cut his hair in his sleep if he didn't.

He follows you out of the car as you both walk into the building. It looks like a punk spot, with spray paint graffiti—on both the outside and the inside—and posters of bands and sexy women lining the walls. The lights are dim to keep the spotlight of the small stage significantly more important. There is a bar on the side across from the stage and the audience is a little bigger than you expected from what Eddie had told you.

You don't see him as you walk in. It's the first thing you do: try and find him. Steve walks closely by your side, as if he's your own personal bodyguard. You believe he's convinced that he is your own personal bodyguard. You let him believe it, whatever makes him happy.

You don't end up finding Eddie—which doesn't surprise you. You and Steve go to the bar and grab a couple of drinks to hold you over until the concert starts. On the small stage, the instruments belonging to Eddie's band are set up and ready to be played.

It is a while before the concert actually starts, but you aren't disappointed when the announcer makes his kind of half-hearted introduction of the band. You're pretty sure you are the loudest person when the applause for the band ensues as each member walks onto the stage.

You smile up at Eddie when he stands center stage. He's as handsome as ever with a Corroded Coffin tee (one that matches your own and Steve's), paired with his leather-jacket-denim-vest combo and the bandana you gifted him forever ago wrapped around his forehead. You can tell that he searches for you immediately, finding you just as fast.

You wave at him and then blow him a kiss, which he catches with a cheesy grin and presses to his chest. He steps up to his mic when his guitar is placed over his shoulder. "What's up, Hawkins?" he greets with that large smile you can never get enough of.

The crowd is good tonight—albeit small, it's a step up from five drunks. They cheer and respond as excitedly as a Hawkins crowd can. It helps that a few other friends are in the audience to support him. "I see some familiar faces." His gaze finds you again and he winks as he continues, "And some really pretty ones, too." You playfully roll your eyes at him.

He finishes up his small intro, choosing not to stall too long before he finally starts the performance. The first song is an original, one you helped him write when he asked you for inspiration. It turns out, you had been the inspiration because he only really started writing chords and lyrics when you began aiding him. Hearing it being performed now really brings into perspective how much this song was written for you.

It's when Eddie goes into a guitar solo, fast and impassioned, that you begin to get distracted. You're lucky Steve is too caught up in the good music to notice you because you are definitely not cheering excitedly anymore.

The way Eddie handles his guitar, the way he plucks and strums the strings with skilled fingers. It makes the room ten times hotter than you found comfortable. You aren't spared when the solo is over and the rest of the band comes back in for the chorus because his hands continue to strum hypnotically.

Eddie looks up as he plays, eyes looking to find you to see if you were enjoying the show. He was intrigued to find that you are trained on a very specific part of the show that he had not realized would be highlighted as much. You look as though you had been put in a trance by the way you stare at his hands.

The song comes to a close as the crowd erupts in cheers for the band of punks. It breaks you from your trance and you begin to clap and scream for Eddie again. Steve nudges your shoulder with a smile, "You're right, he's awesome."

"I told you!" you respond after you shake away the last dash of your hypnosis. "Worth the threat, right?"

He shrugs a shoulder, "I still would've preferred you not threaten my hair, but sure." You nod with another smile and look back at the stage as the guitar picks up to start the next song. This one is a different one, not one of Eddie's own writing but one that you know to be one of Eddie's favorites—Master of Puppets.

You always encourage him to play it at one of his shows, but he always insists that the band isn't quite ready for it yet. You take it as a win as you watch him begin the song. He only looks at his guitar for a few seconds before he nods, confident enough to look away as his eyes lock with yours.

Great. Now you know that he notices you.

The dark look in his eyes as he stares you down and plays is enough to tell you exactly what he was thinking. He saw you staring at his hands, he saw you squeeze your thighs together, even if you hadn't even noticed yourself doing it. You can't help but to bite your lip, pulling it between your teeth. You give him a smile and a wink to try and distract him. It only works a little bit as he turns his attention back to his guitar while the rest of the band picks up.

But Eddie is already forming his plans in his head.

Driving back home with Eddie is interesting. He has a smirk on his face the whole time as he stares slyly out of the windshield. It's relatively quiet, aside from your occasional chatter about the performance. It puts you on edge, has you closing your legs too tightly when he gives you a certain look.

You feel warm, very warm. He knows this, and it only makes his smirk grow.

When you finally reach his home, you help him move some of his equipment inside. He's uncharacteristically quiet the whole time, it doesn't help your nerves. After everything is put away, he curls up with you in his room, pulling you between his legs and wrapping his arms around you to pull your back against his chest.

It's a nice moment, intimate and close. You blush madly, enjoying the feeling of his warm embrace. His lips come close to your ear, brushing against the shell and making you shudder. You can feel his smile against your skin, you can hear it in his voice, as he speaks. "What was your favorite part about the concert?"

You shift, bringing his arms to wrap around you tighter as you shrug with a smile. "Definitely watching you shred that guitar." You bite your lip teasingly, "It was amazing."

He smiles wickedly, you don't have to see it to know. His hand splay over your stomach as his other arm comes around your neck and rests over your shoulders. "I could tell," he says. "I saw you staring at my hands. You were practically drooling."

You knew you had been caught. You saw it in the way he looked at you when you locked eyes before. Him telling you know, especially with the position you are in, set your body on fire. You hold your breath as he continues to speak, his low voice rumbling in your ear.

"Did it excite you?" he wonders. His tongue darts out to taste your skin. You shudder. "I could tell it did. Do you like my hands?"

You try to hum, but it comes out as a whimper as you mold against him. The sound is helpless, nearly pathetic. His large hand comes to rest on your shoulder, brushing against the side of your neck. Again, you whimper.

You can feel him poking against your back. The damn bastard is already hard, excited by the idea of you being fascinated by his hands. "What do you want, hm? You want me to touch you?"

You hum, giving no verbal response as you simply nod your head. He shakes his head with a soft tut. "Words, sweetheart. Gotta use your big girl words," he purrs.

"Yes," you whimper.

"Where do you want me to touch you? How do you want it, hm?" His questions set your body on fire. "You want me to put my hand around your throat? Or grope these amazing tits? Or do you want me to stick my fingers in your mouth, or maybe in your pretty little pussy?"

You moan this time, your chest heaving at his words. "Yes, please."

He laughs, "Well, which is it? I've only got two hands, sweetheart."

Damn him and his stupid fucking antics that prevent him from giving you what you want, what you need. You blush, face flushed deep and way too warm.

"Come on, you gotta tell me what you want, babe," he coos.

You huff out a breath, your words fumbling as you try to form them. "I want...you to...want you to..."

"C'mon, tell me what you want, and I'll give it to you," he promises, biting your earlobe as he whispers the words against your neck.

"My... My tits...want you to touch them," you say. Your voice is barely above a whisper, a shy little murmur of words that makes Eddie want to pepper you in kisses and praise you for being a "big girl". You continue pathetically, "And my neck."

He beams, lust-blown eyes watching you adoringly. "That's a good girl. I can do that."

And he does. He takes your breast in his hand, squeezing and groping, rolling your nipple between his fingers and pinching. His other hand wraps around your throat, his fingers settle over your neck to feel your pulse thumping and slipping under his touch. And then he squeezes, just a light constriction that makes you moan.

You stretch your neck, allowing him more space as his hand perfectly fits around your throat. You raise your own hand to grasp his wrist, tensing as you whimper. "Tighter."

"That's right," he smirks, as if he's remembering something. "My girl likes it rough."

The way he says "my girl" is possessive, a proud statement of his adoration for you. He holds you tighter—your tits, your throat—he pulls you to him like you're the only thing in the world he needs.

He pulls his hand from you just for a moment, before tucking it under your shirt and grasping the front of your lace bra. In one quick, rough pull, the bra snaps off of you and you gasp, "Eddie!"

He silences you, smacking his lips over your, using his hand around your throat to pull your head back, resting it on his shoulder. He kisses you deeply, roughly, teeth and tongue clashing as he devours you. And you let him, moaning against his mouth when his hand squeezes your breast, pinches your nipples.

His warm hands and cold rings press into your skin. It feels like heaven. You're already dizzy and gasping, begging with your body for him to fuck you. But you know he won't, not yet. He enjoys toying with you too much. No, he's going to take his time. He's going to make you beg, make you scream for him. He isn't going to give you what you want until you do what he wants: become a sobbing mess of pathetic pleas for pleasure that you know only he can grant you.

He pulls away from your lips with a smack. Your eyes stay closed before he suddenly whispers in your ear. "Look."

Your eyes flutter open and you look at his blushing face, but he's not looking at you. You follow his gaze across the room where you see a mirror. You hadn't noticed it there before, you feel stupid for not noticing it.

The sight of you is erotic, flush against him with your legs spread wide, his hand cupping your neck and your breast. A fresh wave of arousal washes through you at the sight reflecting back at you, locking onto Eddie's dark gaze through the mirror as he drinks you in.

"Look at you," he coos. "So pretty." You flush under his praise, breath catching in your throat when his teeth tug on your earlobe. You bite down hard on your lip, and your eyes flutter as he pulls you even tighter to his chest. One hand sweeps down from your breast to rub over the black ink in your skin for just a second with a deep groan before returning to your tit. Your eyes land on it, the only tattoo on your body that you had. Eddie's name in dramatic serif and black ink embedded into your skin. It always drives him crazy whenever he sees it, a tattoo you decided to get in honor of his own.

With his hand holding your throat, he pulls your head back up so you're watching. You moan his name, whisper it like a prayer as his head buries in the crook of your neck. He kisses along the skin of your throat, his teeth grazes and his tongue laves the veins hiding beneath your skin. The sounds he makes directly into your ear are all naughty, they're sinful and they make you drip while he gropes you harder. "So needy," he whispers.

His fingers flicking your nipples soon aren't enough. You're needy, growing more and more needy by the second. His hands on your skin are perfect, but now you need them somewhere else. Somewhere closer, somewhere deeper. "Eddie," you mewl. "I need more."

"More?" he responds, like your demand is entirely absurd. "What do you need more of, hm?" His hair tickles your cheeks. You feel his warm, wet tongue glide along a large patch of your skin. It was no kiss and it was no kitten lick as the languid muscle quite literally laps you up like a man dying of thirst.

"I want..." you struggle to get the words out, flushing once again as you grow self-conscious of yourself against him. You repeat the words, trying and failing to force them from your mouth. 'I want you to fuck my pussy with your hand.' But the vulgar words just make you squirm, they make you want to hide your face in his neck and never come out. But you know he's going to make you say something, you know he won't let you hide away from him. He'll make you declare your wants to him so that he may deliver, even if he already knows exactly what it is you want from him.

"What do you want, baby? I can't help you if you don't tell me." He whispers the words into your ear, pulling back only so he can look at the side of your face as you breathe shallowly while still gripping your hand tightly around his wrist.

Your voice is such a quiet little whine that he honestly cannot hear you. "Want you to...touch my pu..." You can't even finish the word, too shy to get the word out. It wouldn't have mattered if you'd gotten the word out, you're just too quiet. Even with his face only inches away from your own, you go unheard.

He loosens his grip around your throat, even if he knows for a fact that his hand isn't what is making you so quiet. "What was that? I couldn't hear you. You gotta speak up."

You whimper pathetically before you lift your voice just enough for him to catch a whisper of your words. "I want your fingers...i-in me."

You feel his smirk against your skin when he dives down back into the crook of your neck to taste your skin again. You feel like candy the way he licks you, like a lollipop that he's ready to devour. "Where?" he breathes against the shell of your ear before nibbling on your lobe.

You hum uselessly, still struggling to find a word that doesn't make you want to hide away. He helps you out a little, "Your mouth? Do you want me to shove my fingers into your mouth, sweetheart?" You melt against him and can't help but nod. It isn't what you had in mind, but you'll be damned if you pass up the opportunity to taste his fingers, to suck on them as he pushes them as far down your throat as he can manage.

"Please," you say, too desperate, too pleading.

He smiles and does exactly that as he lets go of your throat, "Okay. Open wide for me."

The way you drop your jaw makes Eddie's cock twitch against your back, poking against you through the layers of his pants and your clothes. It's too fast and too wide, and he has half a mind to put his cock in it instead of his fingers. But he doesn't. You asked for his hands, so he would give you his hands.

He groans and licks his lips, his tongue lingers on his bottom lip as he focuses on the way a line of drools already slides down your chin. You're far too eager than you should've been, and he wants to fill your ears with a string of dirty words and half-hearted insults about how desperate and how pathetic you are for him. But he doesn't. He just gives you what you want.

You feel two thick fingers rest over your bottom lip first, sliding in deeper to sit on the top of the tip of your tongue. You push your tongue out farther as a silent beg for him to give you more. He obliges and slides his fingers in deeper. His second knuckles brush past your lips and your eyes flutter shut.

"Close," he orders, tilting his head up and shaking some of his hair from his face. You do as you're told, wrapping your lips around his knuckles and closing your eyes in the process. He feels as your tongue wiggles in your mouth, pushes involuntarily against his digits to taste him.

"Suck." The single word is nearly a growl, deep and primal in his chest as he stares at you with lust blown eyes. He clenches his teeth as you instantly respond, suckling on his fingers as you wet them with your saliva. You moan mutedly, melting again. His eyes close and his head falls back. How he wishes it was his cock your pretty lips were wrapped around right now, but his fingers would do just fine—for now, anyway.

"God, you are amazing. Look, baby," he groans. Your gaze finds the mirror again, and you raise a hand to wrap around his wrist again. Your middle and index fold against his and push gently. Eddie complies with the movement and furthers the length of his fingers into your mouth. He moves, slow, paced, and deep into your mouth. The metal of his rings nearly sting against your warm lips, the tips of his fingers brush against that part of your mouth that is so close to your gag reflex, yet so far at the same time.

You moan once more, a very muffled version of his name mumbled around his thick fingers. "Don't worry," he breathes into your ear. "I'm all hot and bothered, too."

You'd already known that—with the way his dick is pressing against your back so harshly, you'd be a fool not to know—but his admittance just makes it so much harder to contain yourself, and you suck. You suck his fingers deeper into your throat, pull his rings past your lips and cover them in your spit as his hand shifts just enough to be able to push just enough down your throat that you would have gagged (if he had not already done so much training for your throat already).

Saliva runs down your chin and wets your lips. The sight makes you clench around air. The palm of Eddie's hand is practically drenched. He's so hard by now, gripping onto whatever he can (which just so happens to be your poor breast, as his nails dig into your skin so deliciously) to stay grounded enough to not end his teasing so quickly and just fuck you. He wants to draw this out for as long as he can, reduce you to a mess of sobs.

But you're just so perfect.

He curses under his breath multiple times as he watches you suck his fingers in deeper. "I bet you'd be even worse if my fingers were covered in your cum, huh?" he grunts naughtily into your ear. You shudder, your core throbbing as he continues to hold the upperhand. You nod to answer his question, sliding your tongue between his two fingers and licking the skin that stretches there.

He huffs. "I'm going to be nice to you, sweetheart," he mutters. "I'm going to ask you a question, and all you have to do is nod or shake your head. Alright?" You nod, eager to please. His lips brush against the shell of your ear once more, dragging along the skin there to make your whole body shudder. "Do you want my fingers in your pretty little pussy now?"

The moan you let out is too deep to be considered a moan. It bounces off your chest and rumbles there desperately at his words, which had set you on fire. You nod so quickly, you make yourself dizzy. You yelp around his fingers as his lips wrap around a large patch of skin and his teeth bite.

As your lips fall open, he removes his fingers from your mouth. You whine, but he quickly silences you. "Hey, I'm just switching you out, baby," he smiles. Then he chuckles. "Not that I think you need help."

He replaces his fingers with his mouth and kisses you, devours you as he moves his hand from your breast and uses it to push your pants and matching set of underwear off of you. You shiver as the cool air of his room meets the burning throb of your pussy. The palm of Eddie's dry hand strokes along your inner thighs, teasing and taunting you as it inches closer and closer to where you need him most.

He distracts you as you move closer still to his lips. You gasp when his wet fingers make a long line up your pussy, tracing along you and seeing just how wet he'd made you. He smirks and chuckles, puffs of air blow against your face. "You're dripping, sweetheart. Keep watching."

You reach out and take his lip between your teeth as he strokes you. He breaks the kiss, almost reluctantly, and turns your head to face the mirror. The way you moaned was nearly identical to the sounds of those pretty girls on Eddie's VHS porn tapes. His middle finger, still clad in his rings, pokes at your hole. Your breath speeds at the anticipation. He drags out the moment for a long time, tapping and circling to taunt.

When you whimper that tiny "please" that slips through your lips, Eddie finally abides. His finger slips inside of you, sinking deeper into you inch by torturous inch. You hold your breath in your chest, gasping when the icy touch of his ring brushes against you. Watching each little bit disappear, knuckle by knuckle, was hypnotic, to say the least.

He silences you by slipping the fingers of his other hand into your mouth. They push down and tap on your tongue, thrusting in and out in time with his now pumping finger in your pussy. You moan around him, closing your lips and suckling just as his thick finger curls.

A second finger joins the first, spreading you open for him. They thrust and curl. You moan and find yourself grinding your hips into his palm.

And all too quickly, he removes his hands from you. You whine and he just shushes you again. You hear the clattering of metal against wood as Eddie takes off his rings, and your eyes linger on how wet they are. He doesn't leave you to writhe much longer before his fingers are thrusting into you again. His fingers push deeper inside of you.

Eddie buries his head in the crook of your neck. His tongue licks you again, his teeth nibbling and biting to mark you up as his. He whispers things into your ears, encouraging you along as the palm of his hand grazes your clit. When his fingers spread, you whimper and push your tongue between the two fingers in your mouth as well.

The sounds he makes in response have you gushing around him. "Jesus, you're amazing. You like suckin' on my fingers while I fuck you with my hand? Hm?"

You nod, whimpering something unintelligible around him. He feels your hand suddenly twist behind you, squishing between both your bodies and cupping him. He nearly gasps when you press your palm against him through his pants. There's a tent there that makes the both of you breathless..

You watch as he brings his lips to hover next to your ear, whispering lowly. "Yeah, you feel that? You're making me so hard right now."

That knot in your stomach begins to build, to tighten in your abdomen as you feel the sparks of your release. His thumb presses against your clit as he feels you clenching around his fingers. The sounds of his fingers slipping in and out of you are sinister, they make your eyes roll back and your breath stutter.

You whisper his name, moaning at the flurry of sensations rushing through you. He nods against your neck, his lips grazing your skin as he watches you through the mirror. "I know, baby. Go on and cum for me. I know you want to."

You do, and you do it with a shout. A gasping breath rips through you and you toss your head back over his shoulder, flexing your jaw as loud and breathy moans tear through you like a symphony of pleasure. Eddie watches you come undone with trembling thighs and curling toes. He groans and thrusts his fingers deeper when you clench around them, dick twitching against your back as you gush.

He shushes and whispers in your ear as you come down, pulling his fingers out of your mouth and pussy and smoothing them over your thighs, smearing your spit and release all over your skin as he calms you again. You're a gasping mess as you lean into him, dizzy and tingly.

"That feel good, sweetheart?" he whispers in your ear. You allow a breath sigh to slip past your lips when you feel his fingers dig into the skin of your thigh as he squeezes. "Feel all nice and fuzzy?"

The way he speaks to you was so gentle, teasing and almost taunting. You nod, giving into his words as you look at him over his shoulder and beg him to kiss you. He does, leaning forward and allowing you that pleasure. When he pulls back, he gives you a malicious smile, "You wanna make me feel good, babe?"

You nod, fucked out and eager to please as you lick your lips. "Yes," you say.

He smiles, "Good girl. Get on your knees for me." He helps you sit up on shaky legs, your knees digging into the mattress below you as he presents you in front of the reflective glass. It looks so naughty, you completely naked and dripping and he's fully clothed with hands covered in you. His cheeks and neck are flushed red, his messy hair is messier, tangled on his head. He's pretty.

He kisses the back of your neck and uses his hand to smooth down your spine, lowering you gently so you are holding yourself up on your hands. He admires the view of your body before him, your curves so deliciously laid out for him. He pushes your hair to the side and touches the tips of his finger to your shoulder blades, tracing them appreciatively before stroking down your spine once more to reach your ass.

He gropes and grabs handfuls of flesh, squeezing you until your skin flushes red. Both of his hands touching you, his thick fingers prodding your skin greedily, make you moan helplessly. A yelp rips from your throat when one of his hands smacks you out of nowhere. The sound is sharp and loud, makes your skin sting and turn into ripples of pleasure.

He smooths his hand over the area he's marked and chuckles lightly. "Sorry," he says half-heartedly, "I couldn't resist."

You feel the bed shift as he slips off the bed. You follow his movements, watching him pull his shirt over his head and discard his pants. Still in black boxers, he reaches toward the counter and picks up a hair tie. He combs his fingers through his messy hair, watching you watch him as he puts his hair in a bun. He walks over to you, bends down and lifts your chin with a knuckle. "Wanna see your pretty face," he tells you, placing a peck on your lips.

The sound of fabric sliding against skin has your body tingling in anticipation before the bed shifts again. You bow your head, waiting with bated breath and moaning when his hands find your bare skin again. Eddie's body bends over yours, his hand coming to wrap around your throat just to cradle you. His lips graze against the shell of your ear and he places a gentle kiss there before he whispers, "Are you ready, sweetheart?"

You nod, and he tuts. "Uh-uh," he says. "You gotta use your words, baby. You know better. Do you want me?"

Again you nod, this time with a pathetic little moan. "Yes, Eddie," you say. "Yes, I want you, please." Then you feel his smile spread over his face as he kisses the back of your neck. Another "good girl" has you weak for more reasons than just your fresh orgasm.

Then he pushes himself inside of you, and you gasp once more. He fills you up, makes you feel nice and full as he pushes in inch by delicious inch. With the arousal and cum lathering your pussy, there's no resistance as he slides in. His hips press into your red ass and he bottoms out with a mix of a groan and a whimper. He twitches inside of you, and your limbs tremble in response.

"You gonna be a good girl and moan for me?" he asks, breath blowing out in puffs into your ear. You respond with a moan, earning a delightful smile from Eddie. His chest pulls away from your back and you miss the warmth of his skin as it is replaced by the chill of the air in the room.

His hand presses against the back of your skull, fingers tangling in your hair as he pulls your head up. You nearly go limp at the sensations rushing through your body with that one little pull. "Look," he tells you. You find yourself in the mirror, biting your lip hard at the sight of Eddie behind you as you hold yourself up on your hands and knees. His tattoos stand out against the expanse of his skin as you eye the tattoo of your name near his V-line.

You had told him that it was cheesy when he brought the idea up to you, presented a bunch of what-ifs he never let you finish when he told you he wanted to get it. He just pressed his lips to yours, told you he loved you, and then set up an appointment. Then you got his to match. Staring back at you now, it warmed your chest, made you all fuzzy and tingly in a lot of places. It's like a claim, like a reminder for him to know who he belongs to, as yours is for him.

"I want you to watch me ruin you, sweetheart," he breathes. "Can you do that for me?"

"Yes," you keen.

Eddie beams, and then begins to move again. He pulls out, slow and agonizing as his cock drags against your walls. It makes you writhe, makes you clench and whimper for more, more, more. But Eddie knows what he's doing, he knows just how to play with you. By the time he's nearly fully out, nothing but his tip poking at your pussy, he shoves himself back in with a rough thrust that makes you see stars.

You cry out, fisting the sheets as you hang your head. He pulls you back up to look again, makes you watch as he does the same thing over and over again, building in pace and force as he slowly becomes rougher. One hand wraps around your waist, holding you tightly as he pulls you back to meet his thrusts.

Soon, he's fucking into and sending delicious shocks of ecstasy through your body. Your legs are a trembling mess, your arms are slowly dwindling in the strength they need to hold you up. You have lost track of your moans, you can hardly hear yourself begging Eddie to keep going, please. His grip on your hair tightens, still doing his best to keep from actually hurting you as he forces his eyes to stay open so he can watch your body bounce on his cock.

The sounds that mix in the room of your collective noises and his hips slapping against your ass make you moan louder. You don't register the pleasure tears slipping down your cheeks, tears that make Eddie's cock twitch as he tends to you.

"S'that feel good, sweetheart?" he asks. "You crying 'cause it's so much for you?"

You gasp and gush, watching your body jerk forward with each thrust of his hips. "Yeah," you whimper. "Fuck, Eddie! You make me feel so good."

The words are choppy, spoken between mewls and sighs as you lower yourself on your elbows. You bury your face in your arms, your hands still grasping fistfulls of Eddie's sheets as your only lifeline. Eddie lets you lay down for just a moment, but doesn't ease up. It anything, you give him a new angle to fuck up into you from. He presses himself so deep inside you, fills you to the brim as you cry out for him.

After a moment, he lifts your head again, this time by slipping two fingers into your mouth and making your suckle on them. You take it greedily, turn your head to allow him to thrust his fingers into your mouth like he's doing with his cock. He feels your pussy beginning to flutter around him as his hand on your waist snakes around to press against your clit.

"You gonna cum for me?" he breathes. "Gonna cum on my cock?"

"Please," you beg, slack jawed and teary eyed.

He nods, "Okay. You can cum, baby." He doesn't hold it out like you expected him to. He allows you to come undone again, allows you to let go as you cry out his name with a raspy throat. He throws his head back when you clench around him, clenching his jaw and nearly growling at the feeling.

He doesn't stop, even as you come down from your second high. If anything, he drives himself rougher, harder inside of you. The pleasure stacks up immediately and your weak, trembling body cries out for him as you shake and moan and gasp. "Mmph, yeah," he sighs. "I bet that felt so good, didn't it?"

You nod lazily, so full of pleasure that you can hardly moan as much anymore as you're reduced to mumbling little whimpers. A rough thrust of his hips proves you wrong as the blunt head of his cock shoves against the perfect spot inside of you. Your back arches and he takes that opportunity to wrap his fingers around your throat again, holding you possessively as he continues to fuck you like he'll never touch you again.

He adjusts his legs, hooking his ankles over yours to spread yours farther apart. "Jesus, you feel amazing, sweetheart," he praises. "Don't think I could ever live without this pretty little thing."

Eddie can feel himself reaching his peak. His cock twitches inside of you and his muscles flex as he watches your fucked out face in the mirror. "Shit, you're gonna make me cum, baby," he moans. He starts rubbing at your clit again, rough, fast circles that make you want to sob. "Are you gonna take my cum, sweetheart? You gonna watch me cum inside of you and fill you up?"

You nod quickly, so quickly that you're almost convinced that's why you're dizzy. His hand tightens around your throat without cutting off your air supply, pulling you up so that your back is flush against his chest as he thrusts into you. "Want you to cum with me," he breathes into your ear, eyes glued to yours in the mirror. "Can you do that?"

You nod again, "Yes, baby."

"Good girl," he praises, thrusting harder as his rhythm weakens. His fingers press harder against your poor, aching clit. When he can't hold on anymore, he gasps into your ear. "Cum for me, baby. Give me all of it, cum on my cock!"

And you do. You come undone with a loud, squeaky moan as you cry out his name. This one is more intense than the other two combined, it sizzles every nerve ending, flutters through your stomach and your chest and makes every limb shake. You're blinded for a moment, brought back only by the sound of Eddie's loud, throaty moan of his own as he shouts your name. You feel like part of it is for you, to let you know that you're the one doing this to him, you're the one delivering sweet bliss as his jaw goes slack and every muscle tenses.

He buries his cock deep inside of you, feeling you tighten around him. His spills so deep inside of you, fills you with his cum as his fucks into you a couple more times before stilling completely. He buries his face in the crook of your neck, sticking his tongue out to lap at your skin, his teeth sinking into you as he nibbles and bites greedily.

You're too fucked out to comprehend anything other than the feeling of his body pressed flush against yours. Your mind is in a haze, all tangled and incoherent and blissfully unburdened. As Eddie slowly comes down, he begins to ramble into your ear again.

"Oh, good girl. Good, good girl. Yeah, that's much better, isn't it? You feel better? You look so pretty, all fucked out for me..." His words fill your ears as you pant and whimper. He pulls out of you, shifting back so you're both laying in the bed with you cradled against his chest. You can feel all of the wetness of your mingling releases spilling out onto your inner thighs, coating you in slick.

You slowly calm down as he continues to quietly ramble and stroke your limbs. He kisses along the back of your neck, the shell of your ear, anywhere he can reach without moving you off of his body. You move on your own accord after a moment, simply turning around in his arms so that you're chest to chest. You kiss him, long and soft and shaky. He practically whimpers into your mouth—as if he hadn't been the one holding the ace the entire time, teasing you with pet names and little commands, fucking you senseless from behind, making you cum three times in a row.

You pull away from his lips and murmur a tiny "I love you" with heavy eyes and an even heavier body as you all but slip down to rest your head on his chest. Eddie smiles, it's one of the softest smiles you'd ever seen on him as you go limp against him and get ready to fall asleep listening to the evening thumping of his heart.

He wraps his arms around you and turns you both on your sides, pulling away oh-so reluctantly and disappearing from the room. You whine and groan for him, and he returns only a few moments later with a damp cloth and a wider smile. "I'm right here, sweetheart," he assures you, spreading your legs apart as he settles between them again. He pulls you closer, as if he's going to start fucking you again. Instead, he starts cleaning you up with steady hands. "Don't want you getting all infected and everything," he half-jokes.

You scrunch up your nose at his words, speaking in an exhausted, groggy voice. "Gross."

He laughs, "You'll get some really nasty shit, like a UTI or something."

You giggle at his stupid antics. "Ew, Eddie, stop!" His laugh kicks up again and he tosses the rag away when he finishes. He plops down next to you again, pulling you into his chest as you burst into a fit of giggles. You nuzzle into his chest, curling up into him as you take in his warmth.

You sneak your hand behind his head and pull out his hair tie, letting his messy curls reign free as you take a lock between your fingers and start playing with it. You twirl it around your finger and then bring it close to your face and take in the scent of his shampoo. He watches you with sparkling eyes as you kiss the lock before letting it loose.

You burrow a little closer to Eddie and close your eyes, feeling the thick weight of slumber beginning to settle over you as you let out a definite sigh. He kisses your forehead, another long and slow press of his lips against your skin, and mutters your name. You hum lazily, too tired to reply.

"I love you, too," he says, fingers stroking along the skin of your shoulders as his arm tucked under your head flexes slightly. He watches a slow smile spread over your lips. It infects him as he grins as well. You're officially gone only a few moments after that. He presses another kiss to your forehead, and follows right behind you in your dreams.

Eddie the Banished taglist: @sweetcoffeebearr @life-on-needs @hb8301 @lovemegood @munsaniac @digital-charlie Tag yourself here...

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie my love <3 #eddie munson x fem!reader smut #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fanfic #female reader #reader insert #fanfic #fanfiction #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fanfic

574 notes · View notes

chrkrose · 8 months

Text

When it comes to twincest and their relationship, Jaime Lannister is the victim. Cersei Lannister is an abuser. Mutual abuse doesn’t exist.

I had both a tumblr interaction and I saw a Reddit post on r/asoiaf mainly talking about the sane thing. How Jaime was toxic to Cersei and that the relationship was mutually abusive. In the Reddit post specifically, they talk about how Jaime r*aped Cersei by coercion because of an specific quote of hers where she thinks of him (with a smile) when another character mentions a situation where she felt like she couldn’t say no and asks Cersei if she ever lived the same.

So I decided to write this down because much like @ginmo did once, it’s absolutely infuriating that in the year of 2023, we have such a hard time identifying a male victim of abuse.

I’m gonna use the old “reverse the genders” argument here because unlike most cases, I think this is one of the rare situations where it can be applied, because even though Jaime and Cersei live in a very patriarchal society and he is a man, he is in a rare position where he doesn’t hold power over her in terms of their social hierarchy and overall relationship dynamic. Thats not to say that a man can’t be a victim of abuse even in a patriarchal society where the social structure favors him to be the one in power. Because while misogyny and male privilege is often tied with domestic violence, and used as tools to abuse female victims, they aren’t necessarily fundamental for abuse to happen. And reversing the roles in this particular situation is interesting because it shows how much gender bias blinds people to the obviousness of their dynamic. As if a veil is lifted and you see what would be so easily identified if Jaime had been a woman and Cersei, a man. So let’s do that, lets reverse their roles.

Here are the Lannister twins. From an early age, they engaged in sexual interactions. One of the twins, the boy, from an early age impressed upon the other twin, the girl, that they belong together, are one soul in two bodies, they were born together so they will die together, that they are soulmates and actually one person. The girl of course, buys into all of that. This same twin, the boy, from an early age shows not only a dominant personality but also actions that speak of a flawed character. This twin brother sexually/physically assaulted their other sibling once for example (by twisting his penis when he was a baby). This twin brother, by age 12, murders his best friend because said best friend showed an interest in his twin sister. This twin brother seduces and manipulates his twin sister by spending an entire night having sex with his sister for the first time when they are teens, not allowing her to sleep properly the entire night so they have sex, while talking about how they will be separated forever if the twin sister doesn’t accept what he’s proposing, that is a small price to pay and his twin sister needs to agree in giving up her birthright so she can take a role where she will lose everything she was supposed to become (a mother, a wife and the lady of her house) so she can stay beside him forever in court. Like that, the twin sister will only ever be with him, no one else. All of that while the twin brother had always intended on actually marrying someone else, someone this twin brother has actually desired his entire life since he was young, even though said twin brother couldn’t stand the thought of someone wanting his twin sister (again, murdered his best friend because of that). And the only reason the twin brother didn’t marry the one he wanted was because they died. And in this whole scenario, the twin sister has no idea about these thoughts and feelings of his twin brother, she truly believes they are soulmates and love each other in a way they can’t be apart, she fully believes in everything her twin brother has said about them being one soul in two bodies etc etc.

The years pass, they carry on with their affair, the twin brother withholds and uses sex/affection as punishment/reward against his twin sister, establishes a dynamic where it must be always the twin sister coming to him, he will never do the same, actually gets off on the idea of his twin sister being so irresistibly attracted to him that she can’t take no for an answer and liked the power play this gives him. The twin brother was also frequently physically abusive towards the twin sisters, which she was used to and managed to diffuse the situation by turning the slaps she received into them having sex. Later in the story, when both twins have committed horrible horrible crimes for each other, with the twin sister going as far as almost killing a child to protect the twin brother, among other terrible stuff, the twin sister starts to show some personal growth after going through some hard times and becoming disabled. The twin brother insults the twin sister physically and verbally, and often actually assaults her physically by slapping her when she doesn’t agree with him or accepts doing something for him. The twin sister then finds out that the twin brother has actually lied to her, he has slept with other people many times even though he didn’t actually need it (he had other ways of making those people do his biding because of the position he holds in their social hierarchy), but he has done that anyway and lied to his twin sister about it, pretending that outside of a marriage he was forced to enter he had never been with anyone else outside his twin sister.

Are you gonna tell me this is a relationship where both parties hold equal power? Are you gonna tell me the twin sister is as much at fault as the twin brother? Because whoever says yes is absolutely lying, don’t even bother. And if you are honest with yourself and recognizes that no, you don’t think that and actually sees how the twin sister is clearly being abused, how is that different then when you reverse them to their original genders? Because I haven’t added anything there that is not present in their canon relationship. Notice I have addressed the privileges/lack of that come with their respective positions (the twin sister inheriting her house seat/ the twin brother forced into a marriage he doesn’t want). That the twin sister is often the one seeking the twin brother and not accepting a no from the twin brother. So if you can see this relationship for what it is when the genders are switched, how can you not do the same for a male victim?

Now something else to consider: There’s a big difference between toxic relationships vs abusive relationships. And a difference between a toxic person vs an abusive one. Not all toxic relationships are abusive; however, all abusive relationships can be considered toxic. In a toxic relationship, there is usually a lack of respect and a violation of boundaries. But this behavior occurs without the person or people involved even realizing they're doing it. They normalized it. They aren’t trying to control their partner.

Usually, every victim in an abusive relationship is a toxic person. Tbh, is almost impossible to survive an abusive relationship without becoming toxic yourself and engaging in toxic behavior. But that doesn’t mean the person is abusive, because a key element is missing: they aren’t intentionally doing that to exert control over the other party in the relationship.

All of this is to say: I honestly cannot understand how people have such a hard time understanding that, within the dynamics of Cersei and Jaime, she is the abuser. Mutual abuse doesn’t exist. Abuse is about an imbalance of power and control.

They are both incredible toxic people, there’s no denying that. Possessive, jealous, engaged in some dubious sexual dynamic, violent… all of this. But only one of them tries to exert control over the other. Only one of them intentionally tries to dictate how the other should behave and intentionally harm the other when they don’t conform to what they want. Only one of them displays a pattern of behaviors used to gain or maintain power and control.

This is not to say Jaime is a wonderful angel who has never done anything wrong in his life. Is just to say that, within his relationship with Cersei, Jaime is the victim. He’s just not a perfect one.

So, no, I don’t think Jaime r*ped Cersei by coercing her into sex because their pre established dynamic within their relationship is so incredibly disturbing and toxic that Jaime coming to her, asking and begging and ultimately not accepting being denied is actually something that Cersei likes, and is used as a power play where she can exert control and dominate him. No, I don’t think Jaime and Cersei are mutually abusive because this doesn’t exist and even if it did, he is not the one trying to exert control towards her.

Jaime Lannister is a toxic person. Jaime Lannister is a victim of abuse. Cersei Lannister is an abuser. Period.

#jaime lannister #anti cersei lannister #anti twincest #tw abuse #tw rap3

83 notes · View notes

emmettworld · 1 month

Note

Okay I promise this is genuine and I don't want to send hate, and if you don't believe it, fair...but why post the works involving minors and nsfw (yes that includes the incest) ? I do believe that you can write whatever you want, and I don't think you're some boggeyman that get his kick of writing about abused kids or whatever bullshit. But there's a difference between writing it and publishing it, and while I think it's unfair your blog was straight up deleted and not flagged, I can also understand why Tumblr did it : I read the ToS, and I don't think they're just for real minors (but it's my personnal interpretation). This type of work (text, art, etc) can be shared with a group of friends or a group of people who're all used to this kind of content, and maybe it would prevent the risk of people stumbling unto texts involving Logan and David for example (happened to me once, oof) and more importantly, Tumblr throwing a fit? You're an amazing artist and while I haven't kept up with your content for a while (I unfollowed when you started posting about incest and non-con against minors sorry, it's a topic I really don't like), I don't want you to keep on being flagged and banned forever.

the simplest answer i have is because it's part of who i am as a creator, and sharing those parts has not just been extremely liberating and cathartic for me, but for others too.

that's one of the most important things to me. it would be different if all i got was hate and not a shred of support or positivity -- if nobody told me that they liked it, that it helped them be more comfortable with themselves and their own work, then i don't know if i would. it's hard to say whether i would just get bogged down by hate and give it up or if it would keep going regardless.

but aside from that, it's the principle. it's the fact that i, as well as similar creators, am not forcing anyone to see this content. i am not posting things uncensored for anyone to stumble upon. i always use very specific warnings, read mores, and links. not once would you encounter a post of mine like that and see anything explicit unless you chose to view it.

and that's the principle i'm fighting for: choice.

this website used to be place where you could pretty much post anything, way before the Naughty Ban, because we understood it was all about personal choice. about curating your own content, blocking tags and blogs you didn't want to see, unfollowing if you had to (which you have EVERY right to do, and don't need to apologize for!). most of us followed online etiquette and those who didn't, again, you can just choose to unfollow or block. not report them just for posting shit you don't like.

the TOS explicitly states real minors. if they wanted to include fictional, they should have stated that. if they wanted to include fictional, they should not only reference the actual crime, but the thought crime of creating things that don't adhere to morals in reality.

personally, i think it's one or two people throwing a fit, but that's just me. i think my content, which is not even posted directly to this site and is by no means being shoved in anyone's face, is the least of this site's problems or concerns.

but anyways, that's why i'm ready to die on this hill. because i've met so many wonderful people from being open about what i post, no matter how disturbing it may be, and because we should all be able to post freely as creators if we're not directly showing anything explicit that could violate TOS.

#answered asks #anonymous #tw purity discourse

23 notes · View notes

bludermaus · 4 months

Text

Another Emperor Post for you all

First of all, just forgive me for not being good at elaboration my opinions, but here we go:

I think another reason people dislike The Emperor is because they have this incessant need to be friends with everybody if they're doing a "good run", and if you're not friendly to the player then you're deserving of no mercy, nuance and greyness be damned

We see that on how people shit on Wulbren. Like, I don't like the guy that much, but I can see the nuance of someone that was maybe a nice person and became so full of bitterness that they start lashing against others and going to extreme measures to do what they *think* is right. It's not elaborated why and we can speculate forever, but if you save Wulbren and Barcus is dead he's far far nicer to you, so people might be extra pissy about him just because Barcus is a sweetie, so by consequence Wulbren is the worst for not being nice to him

Another example is Lae'zel. I love her, but how many times have we seen people saying that they hate her or left her in the camp not bothering with learning about her because she's initially very standoffish? Just because she's not friendly enough, she's not hugging you from the get-go and saying niceties, not worshipping the ground you step on immediately? Sure, she can become friendly and even an actual friend to you later, but that's not supposed to be a requirement for someone to be liked

And then we have The Emperor. Manipulation and ommission of information is not a friendly thing to do, so automatically evil, how dare he! Except that... He's not your friend and he doesn't (initially) want to be, he's an ally by necessity (and let's be honest, every companion there is working together just by necessity. For example: Pre-tadpole Wyll and Astarion would probably have killed each other in different circumstances) and he's interested in your success in the mission, nothing more or less. And let's be honest, considering that he didn't even want to be in this situation in the first place, he's actually very friendly and nice to you, manipulations aside... Manipulations by the way to make you save the world/yourself, which you'd have wanted to do anyway he just helped point you in the right way and guide you to get there faster

But in the end you can genuinely have a friendship with him, it's just that people disregard his feelings because of some sort of idealized idea of friendship where you must be huggy huggy and message each other daily. I am great friends with someone with whom I haven't talked to in like 3-4 months... Does that mean we're not good friends? We don't message each other enough? To me The Emperor would be this kind of friend and that's okay, you'll visit him like once or twice a year, have some conversation and then leave, maybe write letters every now and then, you both value each other's life and that's it, friendship acquired

This accidentally became a post about how his feelings are genuine >:c He doesn't strike me as the "master manipulator" like haters make him out to be, The Emperor is a business nerd with zero social skills who needs therapy and my Tav can fix him, I sincerely believe that if you've been friendly to him the whole game he is genuine when at the end of the game he says he'll miss you... You're one of the only non-illithid to have not treated him like shit and didn't betray him and chose someone else's life over his when you had the chance, you accepted him for what he is and was nice/professional about it. And if you've become a Mind Flayer then obviously he's elated that he's gonna have a buddy to talk to, someone of his own new race who would understand him the best in a way others wouldn't

Okay rambling over, feel free to continue scrolling Tumblr uwu

#baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate iii #bg3 the emperor #bg3 spoilers #bg3 discussion #bludermaus

47 notes · View notes

choicesficwriterscreations · 7 months

Text

October 2023 WOTM: peonierose

Each month CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers, and this month’s writer of the month is @peonierose. We hope you will enjoy learning more about them and their work below! The writer is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page.

Quick Links:

Tumblr Blog: peonierose Blog Masterlist

How do you want to be known on Tumblr? Peonie or PR is fine 🥰

1- When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played?

Way back when Choices first launched. My first book was The Freshman Series - book 1. It was so fun to play the books and get super excited for new chapters. I was waiting until midnight for new chapters. It was the first time I’ve played an app where I could make decisions and use diamonds for VIP scenes 😍

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

I joined the Choices fandom back in 2021. I really missed Open Heart after book 3 ended (and left me wanting more) So I wanted to see if there were any more stories I could binge, and that’s how I stumbled upon Tumblr 🥰

3- How did you pick your blog name?

It may sound weird but it just came to me. Peonies are my favorite flowers. As soon as I thought peonie I quickly added rose and I was like that sounds so cool and it’s unique which I love 😍 And that’s how peonierose was born.

4- Pull up the first post in your archive, and tell us about it!

Gosh. This feels like forever ago. When I first came on tumblr I didn’t post or reblog much 😅 (too shy to interact with anyone 🙈)

5- How long have you been writing fanfiction?

It has been 2 years in August this year since I’ve actively started writing fanfic 🥰 (I still can’t believe I actually made the leap and decided to post any of my stories).

6- What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to write about?

You’re really going to make me choose? There are so many good ones 😱

I love to write for two of my favorite books which are Nightbound and Open Heart. Those are the ones I feel most connected to 🥰 Though I’d love to venture out and make edits or social media posts for other choices books too.

7- Share the first fanfic you wrote with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were writing it today?

I wrote Robin‘s Tell-All from TNA, and it was the first fic I’ve ever shared. I really wanted to write a story from Robin‘s POV and how all that happened in TNA affected him and all the mistakes he made.

I wanted to showcase his inner struggle.

I remember how nervous I was to post something that I’d written. I thought to myself, will people even like my story? And if they do like it, then what? It was a great rush to see the reblogs, and the love for my first-ever posted fic.

If I could change one thing, it would probably be the moodboard 😅

8- What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

That is a tough question, because to me every fic I‘ve written has a special place in my heart. So every story reflects the feelings I’ve felt while writing my story.

Buuuuut if I had to choose: It would be a tie between By a Landslide (Bryce and Luna), the 3rd chapter of my Nightbound series - Unexpected and Go with the Flow (Luna & Bryce)

9- Do you have a fic that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to be but found could use a little more love?

I actually didn’t think I’m a sucker for you, A Pinch of Pink and Blue…This one‘s for you, Cinnamon Sugar and Wildflower, to be as well received as they did.

However, I think Bittersweet Symphony and Losing Game (1 / 4) could use some more love.

Both stories are amazing and I think you’ll love both my pairings. Luna & Bryce and of course Maxine and Adam.

10- If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

I am by no means a smut writer 😅 Maybe I’ll get there 😅 But I’d go with a mix between angst and fluff. I think a nice balance between these two would be good.

11- Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

Yeah. Tons of times. Take Luna for example. She has anxiety like me, and her appearance, such as her blue-green eyes and dark blonde hair, are like mine. But character wise we’re complete opposites. I wish I’d be more artistic like her 🩷

And Bryce is an Aries like me, and so many things he says or does make me go back, and I’m like, yeah, I would say something like that. Other than that, I’ve learned to give my characters real flaws and make them human, if that makes sense. But it does happen that they end up with character traits that are mine, and then I lean back and realize I’ve given my characters some of my weird and quirky character traits 🤣

12- What element of writing do you struggle with most?

Damn. Umm…I struggle with a lot of things. Finding the right words sometimes because English isn’t my first, not even my second language. I speak six languages, so it's sometimes hard to find the words to describe things.

Showing, not telling that’s another thing I struggle with.

That and if I have to keep a deadline to post something 🤣 Because it takes me forever to post anything I’m not 100% behind and happy with.

13- Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

How much time you’ve got? I have over 30 wips, that want some desperate attention, and I always keep adding new wips, whenever something inspires me to write 😅

I’ve found some new inspo for Somewhere Only We Know 🥰 Apart from that I’d love to take another look at my two AU‘s Amber & my Nightbound series. So we’ll see what wips I can manage to finish 😅

14- If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first?

Sure. I’d love to get an outside opinion of my work and my characters that are so beloved and close to my heart 🩷

I actually tell people that I write fanfic and original work. And I’ve sent some samples their way and they liked it. Which makes me feel more confident in my writing (not saying it’s perfect, there’s always room for improvement, but it’s getting better).

As for which story to start? I’d say start with Only Love for Bryce and Luna. That was my first story of them and I consider it their start.

Then continue with Always & Forever and Go with the Flow.

Those were my first posted stories about Luna & Bryce and I think you’ll like them. It would give you a good understanding of my storytelling and my characters.

15 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing?

There are a couple of authors I admire - Chloe Neil, Elise Kova, Nalini Singh, Rachel Caine (R.I.), Rebecca Yarros, and many more. They have influenced and shaped my writing, my fantasy world-building, and, of course building my characters. These authors know how to tell great stories, which makes me admire them so much.

As for fanfic writers who’ve inspired me? I’d love to give a special shoutout to one of my closest friends who’s been my beta reader for almost anything @annieruok She’s an amazing person and writer. Thanks so much for all the times listening to my ramblings about scenes and characters 🩷

16- Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series?

My Nightbound series hands down. That is a story that really deserves to be on the big screen or as a Netflix show. I’m not picky.

I’d love to see Grey, Gretel and Hänsel kick some ass. It’s a unique enough story to garner some attention 🥰 I’ve worked really hard to write it and it took me a year to come up with chapters, character names and so forth.

Also Somewhere Only We Know would be cool to see on the big screen. I’d probably weep from joy if any of my stories were ever developed as a movie or series 🥰🥹

17- Do you write original fiction?

Yes, I actually do. I have several original works in my Google docs. And just recently, I had an idea for another original story (I don’t feel comfortable sharing it yet) 🥰 But let’s just say it’s fun to come up with the characters and world-building and everything in between.

18 - What other hobbies do you have?

Reading books, trying out new recipes in the kitchen. This also reminds me I need to exercise more 🤣

Taking walks & going shopping.

Hanging out with friends and binge watching shows and movies on Disney+ and Netflix. Just trying to enjoy every single moment that every day has to offer 🩷

19 - What’s your favorite emoji?

It’s a toss between these three 🥰😍🩷 (What can I say I love pink 🩷 not just because of the new Barbie movie and the pinkmania 🩷)

20: BONUS - tell us anything you’d like (if you want to).

First, I wanted to say thank you to everyone. For being picked as writer of the month is a huge honor 🥰 Thank you to everyone who has ever taken the time to read my stories, reblog them, and leave some unbelievably nice words.

I’m very grateful that you guys took the time to shower me with love. Sometimes, I wonder what I did to deserve some of your nice words and love. I also wanted to give a special shoutout to some of the people who are very dear to me. 🩷

Thank you guys for supporting me. Being there for me - through great and not so great times - I‘ll never be able repay your kindness 🩷 You guys make me strive to be a better version of myself and I couldn’t be more happy to call you my friends 🩷

@annieru0k @cariantha @txem @doriopenheart @mysticalgalaxy @aallotarenunelma @inlocusmads @heavenssexiestangel @socalwriterbee @secretaryunpaid @ofmischiefandmedicine @starrystarrytrouble @the-pale-goddess @takemyopenheart @quixoticdreamer16 @princess-geek @eleanorbloom

#choices fic writers creations #cfwc writer of the month #playchoices #choices the stories you play #writer of the month #peonierose #october 2023 #choices fanfic #playchoices fanfic

78 notes · View notes