#can anyone say complicated feelings?

[tinyballofcanadianrage]

★

I like you / I hate you / I dislike you/ I love you / You are family / I would take a bullet for you / I would shoot you / I would lie to your face / I would say something cruel to you on purpose / I would say something cruel to you accidentally / I would cheat on you / I would physically hurt you / You annoy me/ You amuse me / I’d laugh at you / I’d laugh with you / I’d manipulate you / You scare me / You confuse me / I wish I knew you better / I trust you / I don’t trust you / You inspire me / I consider you an equal / You are beneath me / You’re better than me / I would trust you with my life / I think you’re mean / I think you’re petty / I think you’re childish / I think you’re smart / I think you’re stupid / I think you’re a bad person / I think you’re a good person / I’m not sure what kind of person you are / I wish you would listen to me / I want to make you proud / I wish you would notice me / I want to impress you / I would hurt other people for you / I’m not sure how to make you happy / I’m a bad influence on you / You deserve better than me / We make a great team / I’d have a one night stand with you / I’d have a relationship with you / I would marry you / I fantasize about our life together / I would trust you with my most treasured belonging / I would tell you my darkest secrets / You disgust me / You intimidate me / I hope I intimidate you / I’d hug you / I’d let you hug me / I’m scared of losing you / I don’t think you like me / I want to be better for you / I respect you / I don’t respect you / You’re my mentor / You’re my friend / You’re my best friend / I have a crush on you / I could easily watch you die / I’d get drunk with you / I’d party with you / I’d comfort you / I’d prank you / I’d spike your drink / I’d act behind your back / I’d abandon you / I’d hurt you to get what I want / I would choose my happiness over yours / I would choose your happiness over mine / I despise how much I care for you / I need you / I’m dependent on you / I don’t know what I’d do without you / I’m scared of you leaving me / I’d give my life for you / You frustrate me / I’d call for you in a time of need / I would protect you / I’d visit you in hospital / I’d carry you if you were hurt / I’d feel guilty if I hurt you / I’d let you be near me when I am vulnerable / I’d ignore a phone call from you / I’d call you at 3am / I’d break you out of jail / I’d get angry at you / I would shout at you / You’re too loud / You’re too quiet / You’re too sensitive / You can’t take a joke / You embarrass me / I feel nothing for you / You’re reckless / You’re bossy / You bore me / I would ask your advice / I would blame you for something I did / I would cry in your arms / You have the power to hurt me more than anyone else /

#ic reply #can anyone say complicated feelings? #I wish I could get into these feelings but maria would rather die and i feel like i need more historical knowledge than i do #but yes complicated

[quietwingsinthesky]

i really do think the desire to paint ten as unambiguously The Worst™️ when it comes to his relationship with martha is out of this desire to uncomplicate their relationship. to decouple them as friends and people who profoundly impacted each other’s lives. it’s just an easier narrative to swallow: that ten was Awful to her and then martha kicked him to the curb when she realized she was too good for him. easier, maybe, then dealing with the troubles of unrequited affection don’t have to be anyone’s fault, or that ten shut martha out in a lot of ways but let her in in others that he wouldn’t let any other companion near, or that they were still friends, they still wanted to see each other and be around each other, even though it was messy and sometimes hurt. you know?

#sometimes the doctor is shitty. this is not news we know this. this is part of the package. its what makes their relationships with their #companions so interesting so important. #like. how do i put this. i see posts sometimes about how ten was ‘leading martha on’ implying that he was taking advantage of her feelings #to keep her around. and. okay. so. putting aside how that’s a weird thing to say about anyone period. #its also just. from my viewing experience. not true? #the doctor is just sort of Like That. he’s too intense he’s too quick to grasp for emotional intimacy he’s too messy. #but he’s not leading her on. he really is just Like That. #like i feel by getting caught up in the fact that martha is hurt by being compared to rose and is hurt by the fact that the doctor can’t or #won’t return her feelings. and like. yeah. of course that hurts. #but in being caught up in that. i think what im saying is that it feels like people sometimes forget that he’s. not required to do that. #like just because she has feelings for him doesn’t mean he needs to get over himself and return them or else he’s using her. that’s. that’s #not how relationships work. people can have romantic feelings and still be friends and not have anything come of it and that’s not a #terrible outcome. thats just how friendships are sometimes. #thats the core of it to me. they’re friends. the way people post about ten & martha sometimes i wonder if everyone’s forgotten that they #are friends. that they last parted as friends. that martha doesn’t hate him or secretely resent him for how he treated her. #like. she’s got complicated feelings about the whole thing. but they didn’t stop being friends. #i tell you what: if the doctor was in trouble and called for help. you could be damn certain that martha jones would be one of the first #people to answer. that’s what i know. #doctor who #the doctor #tenth doctor #martha jones

[sciderman]

(Idk if someone asked this already) since we’re on the topic of gender

sci what is gender to you and how do you see it in you and how you express it in your art?? (Just a young queer artist who wants some light shined upon them 🥺)

i 'unno ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#gender is soup #sci speaks #i'm so sorry i know you might hope for something profound but... i think when i'm put on the spot like this i can't say anything really #i think whatever i am is definitely pervasive in everything i write #but like.. gender means something different to wade than it does for peter. #just like it'll be different for everybody. we make different associations based on our experiences and our trauma. #like.. wade associates femininity with love. because of his mother. associates masculinity with violence. because of his father. #peter associates masculinity with responsibility. because of uncle ben. associates femininity with confidence. because of aunt may. #i think there's all kinds of reasons why we choose to present the way we do. and what gender means to us. #just like we'll associate a colour with something. or a smell with a memory. it's complicated. #i don't think i'm some kind of expert on gender things but... i just find it interesting to explore. the psychology of it. #i don't think it's supernatural. it doesn't come from nowhere. but it should be a playground. #i don't think anyone in this world should be restricted to a certain role to play. i want to try all the roles and see how it fits. #see how well i can play them. #maybe because i haven't found one that quite fits. so i want the opportunity to try whatever i can. see what feels right. #i think it would be fun to be a wife. i think it would be fun to be a husband. i think it would be fun to be a firefighter. i think it wo #shrugs. different outfits for every day. different roles to play. #today i'd like to try... #i think it's like kids learning how to be adults by playing pretend. by playing roles. #i'm learning more about myself and other people and fitting into the world by trying on different roles. #kids playing house. you be the mom. i'll be the dad. yadda yadda. #i still feel like a bit of a kid who hasn't figured out how to be an adult yet. so i'm still trying out roles to see what fits.

[snowflake-sage]

.

#it’s so hard to speak sometimes #the things I’m concerned about seem so complicated #how do I talk about those things? #how can I tell anyone how I feel #how do I speak my feelings #how do I voice my concerns #what if saying anything ruins everything #besides that #when I speak and be myself #it feels almost wrong #I feel so disconnected and weird #it’s just all bottled up inside #I should honestly just go to therapy #but even then I don’t know if I could speak #vent #vent art #art #doodle #drawing #furry #furryart #fursona #digital art #furry fandom #furry art #furry anthro #tw vent

[puppyeared]

When you backread through a fun conversation you had with someone for hours an angel gets its wings

#I was talking to my brother about Norman doors and I had fun in my UX class and he was telling me about demon cores and the trolley problem #in his class. AND I remembered to take my meds today so I can feel every cell in my body. i can feel the neurons rubbing together #and yesterday I infodumped about the specialists bullseye chart to crow and how it ties with witch hat atelier #WHICH I MANAGED TOGET THEM TK READ IM SO HAPPY. I MAKE SQUEALING GUINEA PIG NOISES EVERY TIME THEY TELL ME WHAT THEYVE READ SO FAR. AHH #i might not even be scratching the surface with witch hat there are so many themes i could not possibly fathom or go over my heasd #and thats what makes it so exciting there are so many spaces in between that you can fill with your thoughts and i. i #waves my hands around manically #for anyone interested in my insane ramblings. the bullseye chart is from are we all scientific experts now by harry collins #in my own words its basically saying everything we know about anything is a game of broken telephone #and it discusses how information gets lost in translation between experts and laymen including things that arent in control #one of the main points was how things that happen between experts are complicated including debates and findings #that you can only really understand thru research and experience in that field and cant be smoothly shared without it being reworded #and risking some of those key points. or even concepts that are hard to understand that cant be shared at all #like if you tried to tell me about how DNA works using words scientists are familiar with but i am NOT- i risk missing concepts that i need #to understand to know how it works on the level you understand. or i risk having it reworded and understanding it but not on that level #AND IT DOES TIE TO WITCH HAT THE WITCH AND NORMAL FOLK COMMUNITIES I PROMISE. ITS SO INTERESTING #anyway i spent hours reading back thru that conversation and i might as well admit it goes for almost every fun conversation i have #and it might be the 20mg of adderall in my body but i am in such a state of peace and love i have to verbalize it. ahh #yapping

[sluttylittlewaste]

One super fascinating thing about Kristen's current arc in JY is how much it reflects real-world conversations I've been following about effort and consistency and reliability in relationships. Specifically, I've been reading about the resentment in (primarily het) relationships caused by uneven distribution of mental load and repetivite, constant labor between partners.

Follow me now-

I've seen a few posts on here from people who have ADHD highlighting how realistic it is to their experience that Kristen is SO GOOD for doing grand acts and big miracles, but struggles so deeply with "the boring stuff". Upkeeping social media for Cassandra/YES!, consistently holding meetings to maintain whatever following she does develop for her gods, even just bi-weekly essays. I can't speak to the ADHD experience myself. However, from my relationships with people who have it and a decent amount of the posts I see on this website, that is a consistent manifestation of the disorder.

Dovetailing from that is the very real conversation I've heard time and time again about people whose family/friends/partners refuse to help with the little tasks of keeping a home in order or a project on track, but will pull through for big events under the assumption that it balances things out. It's a conversation that occurs a lot in spaces of studying gender dynamics in relationships - i.e. In a dynamic where the wife is responsible for doing all of the cooking/cleaning/grocery shopping/organizing, the husband will do a singular, high-effort task or grand gesture, "I built you an armoire!", "I took the kids out for a full day so you could relax!" and reference that singular event or task as a counterbalance for smaller tasks they do not aid in (daily dishes, laundry, running errands). This can also take the form of one partner doing grand gestures on occasion, but not showing up in smaller ways throughout the relationship on a day-to-day level.

-Ex. Partner A indicates that would appreciate more frequent affection in the relationship, such as date nights, flowers, non-sexual physical contact, etc. Partner B responds by planning a fancy dinner, gratuitous non-sexual contact/complements, and buying a lavish gift - but they do not increase displays of affection in their daily lives. Partner A mentions that though they appreciate the gesture, it didn't solve the initial problem, and Partner B doesn't understand why all of the obvious effort they put in isn't enough. The cycle continues and resentment grows as both people feel like their needs aren't being met/their efforts aren't being appreciated.

(Sorry if that's an over-explanation, I'm trying to be clear lol)

I think a lot about two things Cassandra said to Kristen:

"You're unreliable." and "It's not fair." in the context of these dynamics.

I've seen a decent number of people talk about how mutually unfair bringing Cassandra back was for both her and Kristen. I have also seen a lot of very valid arguments about Kristen being a LITERAL CHILD who makes a lot of impulsive (re: bad) decisions because she cares so deeply about specific things. We've also seen that Kristen CAN be so good in the little ways (Giving Lydia Barkrock the Help action, supporting Tracker through her bullshit, trying to do okay in school to help Riz). For all intents and purposes, there is no actual lack of effort on Kristen's part - she very obviously cares deeply. However, those efforts are more occasional and case-by-case than something constant, like going out every day to spread the word of Cassandra or doing something boring like homework.

Cassandra, whose entire thing is that she's always there to offer support -"I'm there holding your hand in the dark"- knows these things as well. She knows what Kristen is capable of. The hurt, then, doesn't come from the fact that Kristen can't but because, for some reason, she won't.

In conversations about how certain partners... underperform in relationships, one theme that often arises is that of, "I know he can do it, he simply doesn't." Whether that be daily chores or consistent acts of affection, Partner A has seen Partner B be helpful or put effort into things that they find interesting. There is no question of capability - Partner B can do whatever it is Partner A requests. Partner A thus concludes that Partner B doesn't because they don't want to. -Ex. "He refuses to help me because he doesn't care about me/He doesn't think I'm worth the effort."

While I obviously cannot make a true 1-to-1 comparison between this particular manifestation of Executive Dysfunction in people with ADHD and lackluster partners in relationships (I am aware that it is deeply harmful to imply that being a "bad" partner is in any way correlated to any singular disability), this is a degree of parallelism to be found in the Kristen/Cassandra dynamic and the type of dysfunction I reference in above examples. There is the caveat that if you have ADHD and know you struggle with doing things that are smaller or more tedious/repetitive, you can work with the people in your life to accommodate that. Additionally, men (at least in the US) are traditionally socialized to undervalue the traditional female labor that is caretaking.

That said, in universe, Kristen doesn't seem to know she has ADHD and thus could not articulate her limitations to Cassandra - and even if she could, it might not have solved the problem ( though it could have kept Cassandra from getting so upset).

The entire reason I wrote all of this is that I've seen several responses to the most recent preview for FHJY wherein Kipperlily Copperkettle accuses Kristen of not caring (and, to be clear, Kristen fully does not care about the Presidency. That is very likely what KLCK was referring to, and she is not wrong in being upset if Kristen wins this thing she hasn't even bothered to campaign AT THE SCHOOL for). The trend in the responses has been people listing Kristen's miracles more than anything, and while those do prove that she does CARE about SOME THINGS, it doesn't address the fact that for most people care is displayed through active, consistent, reliable effort rather than big dramatic displays: While the shrimp jump was cool, it does nothing to prove that Kristen gives a shit about student government.

#this is barely coherent #there's just this wild juxtaposition that I feel like comes up a lot on Tumblr #it seems to happen specifically with ND characters that people see a lot of themselves in #where even if the flaws and complications of that Neurodivergence are being assessed and deconstructed #people will plant their feet on “she can do no wrong!” #and sometimes it's whatever because it's just a fictional character #but other times #like with Kristen Applebees #where the defensiveness has the flavor or being deeply honest #which concerns me #like I truly hope y'all are putting more effort into handling real world criticism than you do with fictional shit #the instantaneous demonization of anyone who isn't tooth grindingly supportive of the Bad Kids (namely Kristen) is worrying #kipperlily is allowed to be mad at Kristen for winning! She may have done some shifty shit #but you can't say she didn't try really hard to win #and Kristen didn't even do her own shrimp jump. she only ran because she immediately disliked kipperlily #and ever Kristen's reason for disliking Kipperlily isn't fair??? #Like it started before they realized the whole rat grinder conspiracy #she just didn't like that Kipperlily was a Type A overachiever #which has nothing to do with Copperkettle #and everything to do with Kristen's own insecurities #as for the relationship aspect #i have a lot of concerns about how people on Tumblr talk about relationships #let me die #if i die #d20 fhjy #fhjy #dimension 20 #rant #kristen applebees #i guess

[skitskatdacat63]

Boy King Seb :D

#thank you to Grace for the idea of making his chivarly collar red bull instead <33333 #he was gonna have both collars but then making that one made me suffer so no not today #this was a lot of fun but also made me suffer. but i keep looking at it and being like AAAHHHHH BABY!!! BABY BOY!!!!!!! #can you believe i tried to do this in one night? i cant #i stopped and came back to it and was like 'no way you could do this in one sitting at 1 am' #this is kinda the ascended form of that very first sketch i made for this au! concentrated boy king sebby!!! #i say to myself i need to take a break from drawing complicated things but youll prob see a nando version of this in less than a week ;;; #okay about the drawing(i wrote good tags and then tumblr deleted them so these are a bit inferior AGH): #this is typical pouty seb but is also referenced off a specific pic from AD 2009(beloved) #its very important to me how emotionally open Seb is. im not sure the specific context of this. maybe after a triumph? #but instead of being that typical stoic serious detached kind of ruler; i like him being openly emotional(think AD 2010) #its important as well for his dichotomy with nando and how they choose to portray themselves #seb is very assured in himself and his rule vs. nando who is more insecure and bitter about his #so nando takes strides to portray himself in that more stoic calculating way bcs he feels like it helps him legitimize himself better #whereas seb has absolutely no care for outward public image and shows how he feels and is loved for it(nando hates it but loves it) #not that nando cant be fun and whimsical!! but to me he always seems a bit more mysterious; like i can never tell his true thoughts tbh #anyways i feel like ill finish 10 more drawings before i end up posting the lore pt 2 LMAO #its just a lot harder to organize and layout compared to part 1 which was just an explanation #pt2 would be a mix of more world building/characterization/anecdotes ive talked about with mutuals(LOVE YOU GUYS!!!) #i have a *lot* of ideas (gotta whip out my notes app every once in a while to write down stuff abt it) just hard to put into a coherent pos #sebastian vettel #f1 #formula 1 #f1 art #formula 1 art #f1 fanart #formula 1 fanart #catie.art. #*ill prob make a process post later if anyone is curious!! its fun to write abt my process and influences and such #boy king au

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

Me, when Sebastian joins my party for the first time: Okay, this time I'm not going to forget about you, Sebastian. I'm going to make an effort to use you a lot this playthrough so I can better understand you.

Also me, immediately forgetting about Sebastian while finishing Act 2 and making it halfway through Act 3 before I finally notice his Faith quest: ......................Oh. Right. My bad.

#da2 #dragon age 2 #sebastian vael #listen in my defense..........i don't like bringing sebastian anywhere sksksks #okay look i seriously tried but every time i bring him somewhere i always think man i wish i had brought someone else #and also i do just forget about him! i finally added him to my party at one point and he had 24 points to spend... #that's how long i neglected him after i promised myself i was gonna use him more and then i didn't #it's not that i don't like sebastian as a character though i do tend to side eye him A LOT... it's just that i like everyone else more #even aveline like i'd take aveline over sebastian any day and that's saying something... or is it? i have a lot of feelings about aveline #whereas my feelings about sebastian could maybe fill a thimble...it doesn't help that in my canon run as a mage hawke #i romance anders and well... sebastian wants me to kill anders and my hawke is like 'do i approve of blowing up the chantry? complicated.' #'am i breaking up with anders for this? absolutely. do i still love him? mmhmmm. am i going to kill him sebby? i'd sooner set varric aflame #then sebastian threatens to bring an army to kirkwall and leaves so i can't say i have the greatest opinion on him #even the time where i did kill anders and he stayed in my party he was just... there #and then he glitched out and started t posing while asking if ed ever found out what anders wanted to do in the chantry so..... yeah #but even this playthrough where i'm playing as a lady warrior with a different personality and everything... i'd just rather use anyone els #also keep him away from bethany i do not approve sksksks she's too good for him #i want to understand and see the different angles of him like with the other companions but i've yet to convince myself to do it #also sebastian romancers out there can you like... explain? genuinely can you explain the appeal? i'm curious #because of all the love interests in da2 i look at sebastian and you'd think i'd maybe be more interested? but it's like... #i know about the chaste marriage and everything like that's fine i don't need sex to be a thing in the relationship but it feels less like #an asexual romance and more like... y'know... being with a priest and i guess that's just not one of my kinks? sksksks #i guess there's also the prince angle but i romanced alistair in dao and kept him a grey warden i don't really care about royalty power #and i don't have issues with him being a part of the chantry [well i do but yknow what i mean] since i romanced cullen in dai #and his whole deal with the chantry and magic and shit makes his romance interesting to me but sebastian is just.... a bit too much i think #i don't know i'd like to understand because i really don't but i also keep forgetting about him

[meownotgood]

Oof yeah. Regarding that asexuality post. And the weird thing is you can't easily distinguish what feelings are your own, what is the societal norms engraved into you. And also it's so weird to be attracted to fictional characters but cringing at the thought of any irl experience. It's a very complicated emotionally place to be in. It sucks.

You don't know if it's "normal" to feel like that or if "sOmEtHinG is WrOnG".

Personally i think that something more liberating than even the asexuality label (or aromatic, or demisexual or whatever else is related) is just.. creating a label on your own?

Like.. you can totally choose bits and pieces. If you're this-one-person-irl-sexual that's amazing!

If you're that-fictional-man- sexual power to you!

If you're idk-maybe-?-sometimes-?-remains-to-be-seen-????????-sexual ey! That's great too!

(that's what i tell myself. I think carving out space for your own special experience can be very comforting and helpful!)

yes, you get it 😔 honestly I'm just at a time in my life where no label is all that fits me, but it's often frustrating to feel like I don't understand myself, or I can't fit in with anyone's communities... it can be difficult to accept that sometimes it's okay to just not know

#I feel left out sometimes #like everyone else understands how they feel #or can enjoy the relationships they want to enjoy and sex freely without feeling so complicated #but I'm like ahaha I don't know how I feel about anyone #it's easy to confide in fiction because you know you'll never be judged or have to worry about all your irl complications #tbh I think we just put too much pressure on labels in general #it's cool to not have yourself figured out #I appreciate you saying that 🥹 I'm glad someone understands how I feel in the same way #ask mags

[kyouka-supremacy]

---

#Woha... Alright read the chapter 🫡 #It's just. I get where Fukuchi is coming from and I feel like after rereading it the whole thing was a little more clear but... #Did it *really* have to be so complicated. Like dude did it **really** have to be so complicated. #Maybe it had to idk. After all I'm always the first to say that a complex reality can't be reduced to simple axioms– #and that semplifications never bring anything good. #But at the same time was there REALLY no other way #Couldn't you promote your ideas diplomatically instead. Couldn't you become a democratic activist or politician. #Couldn't you write a book‚ person named OUCHI FUKUCHI #Also couldn't you? Talk about it with someone before executing your crazy plan so that anyone else might have pointed to you how crazy it i #But I suppose the whole central theme of this arc ultimately was “people who try to do everything by their own are destined to fall” #And to an extent it does still feel kinda self-contradictory of a plan. Like ahah my plan included not to make anyone suffer!!! #[turns half world population into a vampire] #Like c'mon? Violations of human rights can happen even without killing people dude #(Also Akutagawa) #(Like I get it he's only one (1) person. But he's also the only (only) person for me so I can't bring myself to ignore him y'know) #Mmmmmhhhhhh that's of the main things ig. I YELLED when they brought up Max Weber and the what-is-a-state question #That's like. One of the main questions my whole life studies centers on. #The adrenaline that gave me to see it mentioned in my current hyperfixation ahfjvafjhcvlawsvfblwhkv #This chapter was just so so political theories packed I felt like I was just still studying lol. #I feel like this was a true “get why bsd is labelled as seinen”. #You just can't do this kind of in-depth political theory discussion in shonen manga ig #What else. Still patiently waiting for ss/kk 😔 #random rambles

[scattered-winter]

wait hang on who are the hot gay boys in that gif set you reblogged

HGLHSIERGLSJDGALKSHGLK i was gonna put the [do you have any idea how little that narrows it down] meme but im pretty sure u mean this one <3 and in any case i will always be down to ramble about the Sillies(tm)

ok so those guys in particular are from the fox procedural called 9-1-1 Lone Star, which is a spinoff of the original 9-1-1 (which just got moved to abc after some Drama that went down so my tag for it is 911 (not fox) lmaoo). but both shows are about first responders (firefighters, paramedics, dispatchers, police) with a particular focus on firefighters. 9-1-1 (the og) is set in LA, and primarily focuses on the 118 firehouse and the firefighters/paramedics there with some other characters in the main cast who work as dispatchers/police officers (the police storylines are more often than not FULL of copaganda which sucks but the main focus is on the firefighters so i'm able to enjoy the rest of the show). 9-1-1 Lone Star is pretty much the same except it's set in austin texas, and is about the 126 firehouse. there are onscreen queer characters in both (in the og there's a married lesbian couple raising a kid, and in lone star there's the aforementioned hot gay boys [one of whom is unfortunately a cop but i swear to GOD i will get him out of there. one day.] and in lone star there's also a trans man and wlw woman in the main cast.) and my favorite thing about these shows is the found family !!! like these are the shows that have endeared firefighter aus to me because they live together and eat meals together and just. the familial/platonic love is So Powerful and it legiterally makes me cry to watch. like there's romance ofc but genuinely it's one of my favorite found family medias to ever exist. its So.

of the two the og is my favorite for a LOT of reasons, but they're both pretty enjoyable !! lone star definitely has more of a comedic tone than og (theyre BOTH funny but lone star doesn't have as many somber intense moments as og does, and they're much more spread out so there's a lot more room for goofy shenanigans. but og still definitely has plenty of those) and the team dynamics in them both are just...ughhh <3333

HOWEVER. lone star has ..... Him...(derogatory)...he's the fire captain and (despite lone star SUPPOSEDLY being an ensemble show with no Main Character) is in fact. the Main Character. and he's the blandest most obnoxious crustiest white man to ever LIVE. he gets most of the storylines and he's constantly propped up by the writing as The Coolest Guy Ever when he's just . not . i hate him so much it's unreal it's soo so unreal (<- biting the bars of my cage) BUT the rest of the team ??? absolutely love them. like i DO love lone star a lot its a great show with great characters and dynamics but it just has. the most annoying guy to ever live front and center when ITS SUPPOSED TO BE AN ENSEMBLE SHOW FEATURING EVERYONE EQUALLY. grr. anyway. og does a much better job of being an ensemble show, and i could not choose a favorite character of the main cast if you held me at gunpoint. angela bassett is there. i am gay. jennifer love hewitt is there. i am very gay. etcetera.

AND SINCE YOU ASKED SPECIFICALLY ABOUT THE LONE STAR GAYS ILL TELL YOU A BIT ABOUT THEM

so one of them is tk strand (firefighter/paramedic, also the son of the Main Character (derogatory). i have many many many thoughts about that. i would probably get gunned down in this fandom if i ever said them aloud.) and the other one is carlos reyes (a private detective TO MEEEEEEEEEEEE but unfortunately fox is full of cowards who refuse to see the truth. they wanna have a gay cop in their show sooo bad </3) and they're kind of the main romance of the show (there Are others ofc but theyre like. The Focus. which is fine ig but i do wish there was more focus on other relationships because in general lone star isnt as good as the ensemble thing as og. but i already complained about that so i digress.)

now they're a fun pair because one of them has been shot, frozen almost to death, and otherwise put into a coma on MULTIPLE occasions. and it's not the guy whose entire job is to get shot at. (the whump in both of these shows.....................absolutely effervescent. im thriving here.) and they have a very fascinating relationship because their personalities fit together really well but they have different ways of coping with shit that kind of tear each other apart a little bit. which is of course terrible for them but incredible for me. and the writing is at times ridiculous. soap opera-esque, even. they're ridiculous. i adore them. they cannot catch a god damn break and i love that for them even more. <3

#I DO LOVE BOTH SHOWS A LOT I PROMISE I JUST HATE OWEN </3 #would recommend watching og first just because its my fav of the two. of course u do not have to but i would be over the moon if u did #but there's no pressure ofc ofc im just happy to ramble about the Show Ever #there IS a crossover episode where the two stations meet because the 118 (la) are called in to help with a big wildfire in texas #with a bunch of other firefighters in the region #its my beloved episode of all time. for fucking real. #franke 🔪 #911 abc #911 lone star #also literally ANYONE you ask will say that the og also has a gay couple in the main cast (buddie) but. its a very popular ship #that is of yet not canon. and oh my god. do i have some complicated feelings about buddie. hoooo boy. #(i Do love their relationship and i Do think they work well together and i Do think it could be compelling for it to happen but. But. #the levels of brainrot (derogatory) that i have seen in this fandom over those two...absolutely fucking bonkers. #its a minefield out there. im being so fr u gotta watch your BACK #anyway. i could write an essay on them and how complicated it be. </3 #ANYWAY TEEEHEE TY FOR ASKING :]] #i can send u sooo many scenes . you need only ask <- no pressure ofc but they are just So... #found fambly...

[fauxbia]

hii i know we interract a bit sometimes but i'm sitll gonan anon this because ehe

your art is so jfjfh its always so nice and i love the colors theyre so .. soft ??? theyre just really nice to look at and i'm gonna be honest you're one of my main inspirations for drawing rw art !!

aaaaah you’re too kind!! and also don’t worry I am so terrible at guessing who anons are your anonymity is secure jfjagkeg i really love working with colors in my designs and try really hard at making schemes that look nice so I’m so glad you think that fhagdjfh i still don’t really see how I could be much of an inspiration to anybody (especially considering I haven’t posted any art lately… uhhh. ah eto bleh. my laptop broke) but I’m so touched and glad I could inspire awawawawa

Um. Thank you!! ^^

#also I feel weird saying this but #anyone can feel free to use my designs #just so long as I’m credited (and maybe tagged because I wanna see!) #and . you don’t have to emulate my style #I know my way of rendering and coloring in general is hard to replicate #the designs can be simplified so um. don’t feel like they have to be mega super complicated #That’s just how *I* like to draw yknow

[themyscirah]

Simon's flash forward of the future being Jess' first appearance... 🤵🏾‍♂️💍👰🏽‍♀️ anyone???

#broooooo i simply think that they- #dgjgdjgdjdgjdgjgdjfgjgdjgdjgdjyd losing my mind over them actually. like going insane #this makes me sooooooo crazy actually #barely any simon content and then they throw down THIS. in the middle of an absolutes wildass ending... #which i will definitely go into because like. THEY MADE KYLE JESUS??!?!?!?! #like okay not literally but WHAT ELSE WAS HE INVOKING THERE #and hal and carol getting married and having kids??? like ok ig? i have complicated feelings abt halcarol as individ characters but together #they rlly have a 'ur perfect for each other. never involve anyone else in what you have going on' vibe to me #dont rlly care abt them that much though so whatevs #also yrra as john's political trophy wife?????? literally what. #just... very interesting. on so many levels really. idk what johns was doing there #APPRECIATE the simon bit though. my shipper brain approves #say what you will abt geoff johns but that man can do some rockstar simon baz characterization frrrr #anyways..... #blah #lanterns #simon baz #jessica cruz #simonjess #green lantern #dc comics #panelposting #swishy liveblogs

[mueritos]

why do you say the d slur if you arent a lesbian? /nm /genq

Im linking an old ask here to explain why I dont exactly believe in recent ideas about slur censorship in the queer community.

Long story short, not every queer slur is actually a slur, or a slur to everyone, and these words are used just as often by queer people because they feel a connection to them or because they want to honor the historical identities tied to them. I wont use these words for someone if they express discomfort, but these words have brought me and many other queer people comfort in our identities and solidarity in them. So yea, if a dyke/fag/homo/queer/fairy/pansy/etc wants me to call them that, i’ll do it because I want to honor them.

Also in the context of the post I used the word dyke for, its a book title, “dykes to watch out for”.

#muertoresponds #i explain in the ask thats linked too but like #i dont really get the rules of queer slur reclamation #theyre very different than racial slur reclamation #obvi dont reclaim a racial slur if youre not from that race #but for queer slurs any of those words can b used against you by bigots #theyre not gonna ask if youre actually a lesbian before callin u a dyke or whatever #so saying only lesbians can reclaim dyke erases that it can be launched at anyone #plus it erases various other identities who feel connected to the word dyke #like some transmen and transmascs and nonbinary people #its complicated #but id rather these words be used by queer people than they be used by cishets #and this doesnt negate that queer people can be viscious too #language is powerful and thats why we need to treat it respect #this is just one way i believe to do that #plus i hate the purification of queerness #i want dykes and fags back

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

anyway so im rewriting the specials to get yaz in there right and you kinda need her out of the way for wild blue yonder so im keeping her in the tardis to do the manual part of the repairs i guess but just the idea of yaz being There but Just out of sight but very much like,,,,Present, as an agent in the story, while this interaction happens:

which is then Immediately followed by the tardis with her inside Disappearing, just lends a whole lot of fuckin,,,,,,,depth of flavour that you really dont even need to do anything for

#the hardest part of this is figuring out the donna&yaz dynamic for me #i cant write donna ive never written donna #i feel like donna would be sooort of approaching yaz like she approached martha back in s4 #but i dont think yaz would be as receptive to that as martha #bc yaz. is. in much the same state as the doctor is. in terms of trauma and running on fumes and lets just keep running and not talking #except that she /didnt/ just regenerate to become weirdly honest about her affections #she still loyal devoted 'shes fine shes fine' never told anyone running from home just said goodbye to one of her best friends #And also to maybe her first real romantic love who Died But Didnt #dealing with all of that as quietly as shes dealt with alll the rest of it up till now #thrown into this situation where she knows no one and the doctor knows everyone and everyone knows the doctor but she knows no one not even #this doctor #all that just to say. i dont think she'd be very friendly with donna #polite. mostly. probably. but also having lots of feelings #that are gonna be...........difficult..........i think for all three of them to deal with #bc donna doesnt know what shes dealing with in terms of doctor/yaz #maybe she assumes a friend. or else a rose or a martha situation. bUT. yaz is none of those #yaz isnt making hearteyes or Yearning In Secret at this point yaz is grieving and also i think trying to figure out her place #shes more of a river situation. not really. comparison doesnt entirely work. but like. river in the library. vaguely #more that than the secret crush thing that it was #and the doctor knows Exactly whats going on with yaz but yknow. Busy. and they havent really had a moment alone to talk abt it #if theyre gonna talk abt it #and donna is pushing the doctor in their familiar dynamic and yaz is just sort of...........squished between that #trying to stand her ground while not even really knowing where or what that ground even IS #anyway so. tldr. Complicated #complicated dyanmic and complicated to balance so i dont sacrifice any of the doctor&donna stuff #which might happen a little anywaybc i have a clear yaz bias but im trying to mitigate it as much as i can

[thehardkandy]

Travelling back home tomorrow hoping for a smooth groove

#i did have a really nice week last week but now im back to everything feeling busy #(its not really that busy) #and oh i miss being slow like idk ever since i was a literal child doing ONE excursion weekly #for an hour #always felt like such s draining burden #and tbh i would like to know why thst is because while it's easy to see as poor habit as an adult reinforcing itself #as a kid i was always made to do things. see people. #i did a summer camp every year at least during the day #i did sports i went hiking in forests #but i remember so distinctly like an age where i stopped asking my parents to try new things #because i would get so excited!!!! but then every week it would become this overwhelming presence #despite being something that i actively enjoyed #and it eventually felt so awful i was like okay no more wanting things you dont use them wisely #like ouch yeah actually that's a big one. wanting things usually wraps back #around to shame or guilt just about always #anyway how is this relevant to travelling? #it's just that i have to travel tomorrow and i have a doctors appointment Friday i have to go to in person #ive changed beds ive slept in 3 times in 5 days #and all i can say at the end of it is that even these little things are JUST enough to be on edge #to feel like im putting my hands over my ears and closing my eyes and pretend nothing bad is gonna happen #even thougu DEFINITELY something bad is going to happen #but of course it doesnt because this is all benign stuff ive done a trillion times before of no note #crazy how complicated it can be to be a person #it is why i dream of living in a small village where i am an apprentice tradesperson and i live simple house #and the house you can walk to anywhere you need to anywhere you need in an your #but no one is that urgent about anything anyway. #beautiful little place that has never actually ever existed for anyone in anytime #but i am still wanting to scream and pull my hair out just asking why why cant everything slow down and be smaller