#by then i won't care. i'll already have moved on. to better brighter things

[numetaljackdog]

is there anything worse than trying to talk about art with people with closed minds. "i don't like this" "oh? why's that?" "it's just weird. i don't like it." fine then never look at or listen to anything again. since you are so insistent on not appreciating it

#this is vastly different than talking to people with entirely different taste even if functionally they seem similar #because if your taste is different than mine i can at least appreciate that our perspectives are different and i will perhaps #learn something in trying to understand your outlook #but a bitter refusal? a cold glassy aversion to any kind of new experience or sympathy to another person's world? #fuck you. i hope you get trapped in the stone pit for 100000 years. maybe enjoy staring at blank rocks instead. since you are so boring. #maybe you'll find some kind of art in the cracks between them. maybe then you'll understand. for your sake i hope so. but by then #by then i won't care. i'll already have moved on. to better brighter things #seeing the world. understanding the vast wealth of human emotion and experience. #you can fucking rot in there for all i care. maybe when your flesh falls from your bones it will form a beautiful shape out of some #cosmic force's sense of delightful irony

[coffeeandritalin]

About your last post about JC, what do you mean with WWX already moved on? Did you mean he already moved on in the sense that he won't allow the suffering of the past to be a ball and chain that would prevent him from building a happy future for himself or that he ceased to care about JC? Because the latter, despite being the favourite option of the delusional JC antis who clearly live in their twisted fanfiction world, couldn't be more distant from the truth.

In Guanyin Temple WWX clearly doesn't hold a grudge against JC, on the contrary he gives him a positive advice about not allowing the past to chain him down, because by doing so JC could never hope to look forward to a brighter future. The same thing WWX is gonna do from now on, that's the meaning of the let the past stay in the past line. How could ppl even remotely think this means WWX doesn't care about JC anymore is embarassing tbh.

Their ending wasn't 100% positive but it wasn't completely negative either, just like the epilogue between XXC and SL who parallel the Twin Prides a lot: sad but a little hopeful. Just as you said, after Guanyin Temple, JC seems to have learned the lesson. He doesn't blame WWX anymore, nor screams after him to get his attention, nor forces him to sit down and shove the actual reason why JC's golden core was melted in the first place down his throat so to give WWX another reason to feel guilty toward him. If he did, that'd be the proof that he was hopeless and no matter what, he'd have never learned the lesson and admitted his mistakes.

But for once he learned and that's HUGE progress from someone like him. So if JC from now on works on himself and bit by bit starts dropping his toxic attitude, I don't see why WWX should reject him, their relationship the way it turned out to be was toxic for the both of them but perhaps they could build a new relationship on a better foundation.

Thanks for the ask, Anon!

I'll start with this… I like the idea of JC fully redeeming himself and becoming a healthier and better person. I like the idea of JC and WWX eventually having a reunion of sorts. However, I don't think there will be a situation where WWX is put in a position where he needs to reject or accept JC. (This is in part because I want to believe that JC's own growth will mean that he won't ever put WWX in that position.)

I am of the following opinion - Neither of them needs the other in their life in order to be happy.

My short answer is: I mean WWX has moved on in both ways. (Fortunately or unfortunately, my answers are never actually short.) To clarify, I mean that WWX no longer cares to have JC in his life (not that he no longer has feelings when it comes to JC). I see their ending as both of them moving on from needing or wanting each other in their lives.

When WWX made his decision to save the Wen remnants in his first life, he still held on to his attachment to the Jiang family and the desire to be with them. However, in his second life, and especially by the end, WWX has moved on from this attachment. You can see it in his final interactions with JC.

Wei WuXian took the flute. Remembering that Jiang Cheng was the one who brought it, he turned over there and commented casually, “Thanks.” He waved Chenqing, “I’ll… be keeping this?” Jiang Cheng glanced at him, “It was yours in the first place.” After a moment of hesitation, his lips moved slightly, as though he wanted to say something else. However, Wei WuXian had already turned to Lan WangJi. Seeing this, Jiang Cheng remained silent. (ExR, ch 110)

In the past, WWX would have long since been by JC's side, probably poking fun at JC for 'stealing' ChenQing. Now, JC is almost an afterthought. (However, he is still a thought, and I believe that hesitation in WWX's speech shows that there is still emotion there.) The two of them talk to each other like acquaintances would. If there's any warmth or past affection in their exchange, it comes from JC more than it does WWX.

On the other end, JC has chased after WWX all of his life, refusing to let go even after WWX's death. WWX's shadow continues to haunt JC's heart and mind 13+ years later only because JC has insisted on holding onto it - whether it's to constantly compare himself against it or to put all the blame of his sufferings on it or because he actually misses WWX deep down inside. Regardless, JC's attachment to this shadow is unhealthy for him. Learning to let go of WWX and the shadow that he casts is critical to JC's own healing.

WWX and JC have too much history together for them to disentangle the person from the emotional and mental trauma the person's presence caused in their lives. JC is part of the ball and chain that would prevent WWX from building a happy future for himself, and the reverse is true for JC.

That said, I do think they will inevitably build some sort of relationship with each other due to their love for JL. However, I believe it would be a friendly acquaintance type of relationship. I believe there will be some warmth. I believe there will be some teasing. I believe there will be a lot of awkwardness and tension. I believe trauma will resurface if they get too close to each other. Some things, once broken, cannot be repaired. I also think that, initially, WWX will actively avoid crossing JC's path for many, many years.

I also want to add the following… If news of JC being heavily wounded is circulated, do I think WWX will be concerned and unconsciously keep an ear out for JC's state until JC is at least stable? Yeah. Do I think WWX will normally seek out news about JC on his own? No.

If the universe plotted to bring the two together on a night hunt and JC somehow ends up in danger, do I think WWX will give JC a hand? Yeah. Absolutely. Do I think WWX will choose to put himself in a position where he goes on a night hunt with JC? No.

So do I think WWX still cares about JC in some way? Yes. Do I think WWX wants JC in his life? No.

Do I still like the jokey posts about WWX breaking into Lotus Pier to spew off the rocker ideas and questions at JC? Absolutely.

Sorry if this response isn't what you're hoping for. These are just my own thoughts and interpretations.

#mdzs thoughts #jiang cheng #long post #sorry i don't know how to be concise

[dom--minnie]

Three’s a Party

Summary: There aren’t supposed to be secrets in relationships. Unfortunately, Felix currently has three. One is let out with no problem. The second creates complications no one could have foreseen. The third, unknown to him, he isn’t the only one that holds the same secret.

Word count: 9.3k

Genre: fluff, smut, angst

Content: non-idol au, established reader and felix, gender-neutral afab reader, felix is nervous, chan is a bit of a dummy, felix wears skirts, threesome, switch! reader, switch! felix, dom! chan, mutual pining, slight lack of communication, threesome arrangement with kink and safeword discussions included, daddy kink, piv, protected sex, unprotected sex, MxM intimacy, (slight) size kink, (slight) strength kink, hand kink, finger sucking, praise kink, pet names, creampie, slight voyeurism and exhibitionism, accidental confessions, polyamory negotiations

Taglist: @solistired @hyunsluvv​

a/n: I only technically lied about the release date. Yes, I said Saturday but I also said the 18th which is today for me still, so it’s fine! I hope I made the wait worth it for anyone interested and for everyone else, voila

Relationships aren't meant to have secrets. Felix technically has several but he keeps them under wraps. The most damning one... one that he would never reveal except under the direst of circumstances. The other ones are far less destructive but are arguably more embarrassing. 

You live in blissful ignorance of all of these, at least for now. Until Felix decides he should tell you something, considering how often he thinks about them. So one day you walk into your shared bedroom with Felix he's wearing a short, blue skirt. Your face is neither positive nor negative and Felix spins, skirt flaring, staring downwards still. 

"And what's the occasion here, darling?" You question. 

Felix makes a confused noise in his throat and looks up to you just a little more. 

"Why have I received such a beautiful gift today? You look amazing, Fe."

Felix leans forward to kiss your nose and giggles when your hands roam under the skirt and squeeze his cheeks. 

"I've wanted to wear a skirt in the bedroom for a while, but wasn't really sure how you'd react." 

"Awwww baby, never be worried about anything like this. I might be confused but I love you so I'll never react badly."

Your comforting words are genuine and Felix wonders how far they truly reach. Would you say the same if he wanted to have a threesome with one of his closest friends? Or said he had a crush on, was practically halfway in love with, said friend? It's not what tonight is about and the thoughts fade when your lips connect.

You're so, so gentle with him and Felix sinks into you. Felix's wandering hands spur your own and suddenly it's like you're horny teenagers again that can't get enough of each other. Your hand slips back under the skirt and the easy access is fun, especially if he plans to wear nothing under it like he is now. Easy access to start jerking him off, and you happily do so, keeping your mouth pressed against his. 

Even with the anxiety Felix must have been imagining a number of situations with how hard he is in your hand. A sigh leaves his mouth as he rests his head on your shoulder. With one bite in your neck and only one sentence all of the power in the situation flows back to him. 

"I want you to sit on my face and then ride me, doll."

Any stress you may have had is gone after that.

Similar situations happen several more times over the next few months. Felix either has a skirt on and is obviously wearing nothing under it. Or he changes into a skirt with nothing under it when it’s clear you’re going farther tonight. Each time you’re caught a little off guard by how truly pretty he is. Lee Felix is sunshine, rainbows, and starlight of course but it’s like the skirt gives him a little extra confidence to shine brighter for you. 

So one hurdle down, only two more to go, great. Felix has never been so glad to have incognito mode with the number of phrases he googles related to 'how to bring up wanting a threesome with your significant other.' 

It's honestly not that useful, as the so-called advice was generic things he could've gotten from anyone. 'Trust them and they'll trust you' or 'do it with someone you both trust' like thanks he knows all of this already. 

Your next take-out dinner and movie night brings some strange behaviour from Felix. He's quiet where normally he'd be commenting on these extraordinarily stupid characters. When one of them completely ignores the obvious thing and Felix doesn't react in the slightest you know he's not paying attention at all. 

He certainly pays attention when you stop the movie and straddle his lap. Your hands cup his face and your forehead rests on his while your eyes meet. 

"What's on your mind, Pixie? Don't try to avoid it either, I know." 

Your gentle compassion almost makes Felix want to spill everything. It all bubbles up to the tip of his tongue but then he thinks of the possible disgust or heartbreak and pushes most of it back down. 

"You know how you said I don't have to be uncomfortable bringing up anything about... bedroom life?" 

You giggle at the euphemism and how adorably shy Felix gets about it when not in the act. Regardless, a hum of assent vibrates your throat. 

"I've been thinking about having a threesome." He blurts then squeezes his eyes shut, not allowing your reaction to reach his eyes. 

The small boop your finger leaves on his nose leads him to open his eyes. Nothing about your expression is negative and you look at him as fondly as ever.

"Do you-"

"Chan." 

A bright, fond laugh bubbles over your lips. 

"Sorry love, you just answered so quickly. Sure, we both trust him. We can talk to him about it and... arrange a day." 

Arrange sounds more formal than you intend but that's what it is. With the weight off of his mind, Felix is able to make fun of the new characters not seeing the plot right in front of them.

Chan knows this is a bad idea, he even cares that it's a bad idea, and yet he agrees. Backing out at any time is always an option, neither of you will be mad. It doesn't matter because he won't. Even if it hurts he will take the one chance he may ever get to screw around with both of his crushes. 

There was no pretense of a normal hangout. You texted Chan that you wanted to talk about something. When you all sit down Felix ends up doing the talking about it since it was his idea in the first place. You both want to have a threesome with him. 

It takes all of Chan's willpower not to coo at the blush that spreads across Felix’s face and ears. Also, a significant amount of brainpower to agree with the right amount of excitement. Not too little that you think he's unsure or doesn't want it wholeheartedly. But not too much that you are suspicious about any underlying feelings or motives he could have. 

Really, you're just thinking about your boyfriend and how cute he is. Not anything against Chan but you love Felix with every cell in your body and it pours out of you often. He can see it from a mile away and doesn’t mind because he’d love to be doing the same thing. Looking at Felix with all the fondness in the world that lets each side know that everything’s going to be ok. But alas, a threesome will have to do for now. Or forever, honestly. 

Then the fun part of it comes: interests. What does Chan have that he likes to do, and would like to do with you. Vice versa, what are you comfortable with and want to do with a sudden, if trusted, third-person present. 

"I'm wearing a skirt," Felix says. 

You smile at how easily he's able to say it, a stark contrast to before. You know that it will give the same confidence on the day of all of this as well. Surprise flits over Chan’s face but he just nods and doesn’t say anything more. 

"I want to dominate both of you." Chan brings it up first, any type of power play and dynamics. 

You and Felix look at each other then back at him and both nod excitedly. Chan already has strong leadership qualities, especially around all of the boys so really this makes sense. It will be very attractive for him to be giving you full orders and expecting them to be followed. Even thinking about it makes your brain work overtime and you have to physically shake yourself out of it.

"Felix and I… we'll just see how it works out. But we’ll both listen to you, for sure. Sound good?" 

You have to check with Chan if he's going to be in charge of both of you. A quick look between both of you and then he nods. 

A moment goes by and you look at Felix with a smirk on your face. He frantically shakes his head before you turn back to a visibly confused Chan. 

"Felix over here has a strength kink. Wants someone to manhandle him a bit." You drawl and Felix doesn't even mock tackle you. 

"Yeah, well you have a size kink! Wanting someone to look down at you and hands fitting around your limbs."

Felix sticks his tongue out at you as you feel your cheeks heat up to the temperature of the sun. Perhaps Chan fits you better than first anticipated. Strength and size in one, not to mention some other interests he slots right into. 

"Any kinks you both have and aren't about to expose to me?"

You and Felix easily speak in unison.

"Praise and hands."

The moment you say that Chan reaches his hands out and lays them vertically so you can see the incredibly veiny backs. Imagining those fingers in any of your wet holes has you readjusting your legs and you can hear Felix do the same next to you.

Felix clears his throat in an obvious attempt to quickly move along from that. 

"Anything you have in mind, Channie?"

The nickname is affectionate and if you didn't know better you'd think the tips of Chan's ears are flushed under his curls. 

"Praise for me is good, no matter who’s giving or receiving it. I like nicknames or pet names, titles as well."

When it becomes clear Chan isn't elaborating you both lean forward in a clear gesture for him to continue. 

"Ok. Baby, bunny, angel, beautiful. For myself? I dunno, choose some. Particular titles especially." 

You all have flushed cheeks as this is becoming a reality, hearing Chan say these things out loud. Hopefully, you'll both be saying some of them as well. One title sticks in your mind and you’ll just have to test whether he’s into that or not. 

"Safewords." You state and both men nod. "We use the colour system generally. Green, yellow, red.”

"Sure," Chan easily agrees. It only slightly surprises you that he knows, and has probably used that exact safeword system before. 

You lean forward to rest your cheek on your palm. 

"I mean... I think that's everything? We can have a phone call or hangout if there's anything else."

Okay but... when? When are we gonna do this?" Felix points out.

It had gotten lost in actually arranging but the goal of this was actually enacting it all so that fact was a bit important. 

"Like 2 weeks from now?" Chan says. 

You consider it, a fair amount of time to go but not too far either. Enough time to mentally prepare but not to freak out fully and leave the country. You look at Chan then Felix who voices his agreement. 

"Alright then, Saturday in 2 weeks. Come over for dinner, Chan. We can ease into it that way."

You stand and Felix follows. Heading to the door you both give Chan a hug, Felix longer and tighter than yours as usual. 

You step out and turn around to face Chan again. 

"See you later, daddy." You wink.

Felix purposefully makes his voice lower and repeats the playful words. It's obvious he tries to hide it but Chan shivers at Felix's voice. You only knew to look because he has the same effect on you.

The two weeks pass entirely as normal. A couple hangouts with various groups of the guys and knowledge of the future threesome doesn't invade your mind. The day before you thought Felix would be visibly stressed already but he seems entirely fine. 

He seems fine to you, but Felix is good at hiding his emotions if need be. And he is freaking the fuck out. There came some point where it really settled in that this was a plan, it was happening, and it was going to be tomorrow. From that point on it had hardly left his head. Hiding his feelings while fucking around with the man? Is that even possible for a Lee Felix? It doesn’t really matter because it’s already happening, so really something is going to happen and he is determined not to ruin it. 

To calm himself down there’s a number of things he can do, yet he chooses the one that wouldn’t make sense to most people. Calling his best friend, the slight hyperactive squirrel man, Han Jisung. Jisung is adept at the two things that can bring Felix out of almost any type of nervous state, whether with genuine comfort, or with chaotic distraction. 

Yet when he calls, Jisung seems to know something is different. 

“Soooooo, what is up my dude? How have you been?” Jisung sings.

“Ah, just a bit nervous for no reason and I know you’re not doing anything.”

Jisung is silent for a couple moments longer than the normal, puzzling. 

“You sure it’s nothing? You’ve been…. extra. The past week, especially.”

Felix goes over the last times they’ve hung out together, especially as a group of 9. There’s nothing out of the ordinary that he thinks Jisung may count as ‘extra’, whatever that even means. 

“Extra what, Ji? What are you even talking about?” Felix laughs, assuming Jisung will too and they can just move on. 

“You’ve been staring at Chan like way more than usual, dude. I thought it was ridiculous before, but now… he’s either denser than a brick or ignores it.”

Felix’s mouth drops open and he’s silent for nearly half a minute. Other people have noticed how often he stares at Chan? Jisung noticed how much he stares at Chan? This is an entire disaster. And if Chan ignores his stares, then what does that mean. Actually, no, if he goes too far down that route then he’s going to chicken out of all of your plans and he wouldn’t dare ruin it. 

“Are you the only one who noticed?” Felix asks hesitantly, mouthing please in hopes that if someone else has noticed as well, that it’ll just go away.

“No… Jeongin and Seungmin are wayyyyy too observant for that, the little demons. Minho, too. I haven’t heard from the others but if I’ve noticed then…” Jisung trails off. He’s not the least observant in the group. That title goes to Felix and Chan themselves. But he and everyone else would put him low on the list, so if he knows then almost everyone else probably does too. Well, shit.

“I’ll only tell you if you promise with your whole heart not to tell anyone else.” 

Felix’s heart is pounding and it thrums loudly in his ears. Is he really about to tell someone else about this? Jisung, no less. 

“I’m concerned but yeah, of course. Unless it’s a crime.”

Felix forces out a laugh, and he knows Jisung can tell but neither of them comment on it.

“So… maybe I have a bit of crush on Chan. It’s fine, it’ll go away eventually and I can just move on, but for now. I have crush feelings.”

Jisung is silent and Felix has to check if he hung up at some point.

“So you stare at your ‘just crush’ like he put the moon up himself? Not believing that or a second. But I understand now, so whatever. You gonna tell them or…?” 

Felix lets out a real laugh this time, then scoffs like Jisung’s proposed robbing a bank tomorrow. 

“And have them break up with me? No thanks, I’ll just live with it.”

This time its Jisung scoffing so hard his throat will be sore.

“You’re an idiot. If they love you, and we both know they do, then it’ll be fine. Be honest about your feelings, it’ll only make you stronger.”

Felix considers it, turning the idea over in his mind. Inevitably, his mind turns to your possible reactions. His dreams come first, the ones where you somehow like Chan as well and Chan likes you both. Or the ones where you’re ok with it. Or any of the ones where Chan even likes him back. But of course, the more likely reality. Where you’re uncomfortable or disgusted. Or want to… nope. 

“I’ll think about it. Thanks Ji.”

“Sure man, anytime. Popcorns going so I’m gonna dip. Good luck.”

Felix is left in the silence of the bedroom to ponder. They both know he won’t do it but the wonderful fantasies make it seem possible. Some wonderful fantasies can come true, somehow.

The stress explodes in the morning. Felix is out of bed when you wake up and when you exit the apartment is practically sparkling. From top to bottom, you’d believe this house had never been lived in if your pictures and souvenirs weren’t everywhere. There's also a wonderful cookie smell coming from the kitchen, and it draws you in. Whenever Felix bakes it floods through your apartment and makes it seem like a home. Cheesy, yes, but it’s really what he does to you. 

Felix's back is to you when you come in the kitchen and you wrap your arms around his stomach. He lets out a small squeak of surprise before giggling, face lighting up at you being awake finally. 

"You do know Chan's been here before right? You didn't have to do this."

Felix sighs and turns to face you, leaving a kiss on your forehead. 

"I know I didn't have to. I'm just nervous and all this kept my mind off of it for a bit."

You coo at your adorable boyfriend and peck his pink, pouting lips. 

"No matter what happens he's just Chan. You're still you, I'm still me. It'll be ok, Fe." 

The sigh Felix lets out has a different meaning to you both. You assume it's clearing his mind and re-centreing himself. Really it’s thoughts of how, at the end of the day Chan is never just Chan for him, but this is reality and not his ideal world. He doesn’t get to have two attractive partners to come home to every day. The timer goes off behind him and the reminder makes the smell of cookies flood your nose and mind again. 

"Join me on the couch when you're done, baby. I'm gonna work on some stuff for a bit." 

The reminder of cookies existing every timer goes off is delightful, and really the only reason timers should exist ever. Most of the way through the batter, Felix dances into the living room and feeds you one, delightful as always. He’s beautiful like this. The lingering stress showing on his face from the morning is entirely gone. The blinds are finally open for a reason and sunlight reflects off your sunshine.

The day passes easily once it begins and Felix is done practically vibrating out of his skin. In the early afternoon, he even falls asleep with his head in your lap for a while. Looking at him is like looking at a sleeping kitten, curled up and peaceful. 

It gets later, a bit darker and you pull up the recipe on your laptop. The kitchen barely fits 2 people but you and Felix work well enough together that there are few problems. It’s nice to just… coexist with someone else so peacefully and naturally. The door rings and you and Felix glance at each other, for just a bit too long before he patters away. 

They both pop their heads around the corner and Chan joins you both, squishing the kitchen space even more. He gives you both soft kisses on your foreheads, smiling and greeting you quietly. As soon as he does you and Felix look at each other and nod, kissing his cheeks at the same time. His cheeks flare bright red and his eyes widen but he quickly recovers. Expression settling and laughing, even if his ears and cheeks don’t stop burning for quite a while. Then you notice the box, probably a dessert that you won't be getting to tonight. Or… you will get to dessert technically, it just won’t be any of the typical sugar. 

It proceeds normally, you may even forget what your plans are for a minute. But as plates start getting emptier Felix is the first to tense up. Chan follows soon after but you manage to stay the calmest, at least on the outside. 

Chan puts his hand on your knee first and you stand. Suddenly, Felix's grasp comes from your other side and tugs you towards him. He looks so… innocent that you just can't help but tangle your fingers together. At the same time, he tilts his head up towards you, waiting for a kiss. Your hands tangle in his hair and press your lips against his. 

You both turn to Chan after and he's sitting up, completely straight and still. You round the table and he puts his hand on your hip. It doesn't escape your notice about how much of you it covers and you resist looking down to see it. 

"Can we kiss you?" You ask, breath fanning across his lips. 

He should say no. Say no, say no, saynosaynosay- 

"Yes." He says with false ease. 

You lean in and he lets you lead it, simply resting his hands on you. Felix comes up behind you and rests his head on your shoulder, watching. 

Chan briefly bites your bottom lip but you pull away before too much happens in the kitchen. Before you can move Felix switches places with you and throws his weight against Chan. It's like he was prepared and his hands go around Felix's back. You take a good long look at them before playing with Felix's hair and taking your own turn to watch them. 

"We should go to your bedroom." Chan pants out, eyes blown wide when he opens them. 

"You heard him, baby boy. Follow him." 

You giggle when Felix whines at the pet name. 

"You're our baby boy tonight, aren't you?" You tease. 

Chan feels something flare inside of him when you use such possessive words, especially "our" anything. In any other situation, he knows it would be "your" and it kills him. He wants so much more, but he cannot either of you entirely in the way he wants so much. It's not a controlling type, simply a statement. Felix is yours as you are his, and neither of you are Chan's. 

The moment you reach the room the door is closed and you are pinned onto it. You watch Felix disappear to change but Chan makes sure your attention is back to him quickly. He kisses you again, but harder this time. 

Felix feels like this is a dream. Maybe he's finally achieved lucid dreaming. Because he's standing in the bathroom changing his skirt and about to have a threesome with his significant other and best friend/crush. That can't be real. So he's ready to wake up and tell you about the totally wild dream he had. But not the feelings, because those are still very real. 

He never wakes up. Instead, he pulls the skirt on and walks out to see you pinned against the door and Chan nipping at your neck. 

When Felix appears your attention is immediately split between them. It goes back to Chan pretty quickly when he starts whispering in your ear. 

"I certainly know what I want to do. First, I'll watch the 2 pretty kittens in front of me for a while. A pretty picture being painted right in front of me. I'll keep the rest to myself for now. Go kiss your pretty boyfriend and give me a show, alright sweetheart?" 

He backs away slowly and you go to Felix, whispering in his ear as well. 

"He's going to watch and wants a good show from us first. So let's give him one, huh?" 

Felix throws his arms over your shoulders and nods. Before you can tug him in he looks at Chan who nods as well before pulling out your desk chair. 

Your kiss with Felix is already heated and messy, the extra thoughts of an audience and pleasing that audience in mind. It moves faster than you normally would when in the bedroom. Though the tension of the whole day, and especially of the dinner may be enough to make up for that. 

Your hands roam furiously around each other and each time your lips break apart you each let out a gasp before diving back in. Felix starts walking you towards the bed with slow steps and flips it around so you fall onto his lap. Before he can do anything you fall to the ground on your knees. 

When you flip up his skirt and see nothing underneath you can hear Chan groan from his spot. Immediately you sink your mouth down, gagging just slightly as he hits the back of your mouth. Taking a second to breathe, you look up at Felix who already has his eyes closed. When you stop his eyes flutter back open and his hands go to your hair, resting there with no intention of pulling. You bob your head slowly, not taking him all the way in every time. A couple times you try to glance at Chan in the corner but he’s moved farther than what you can see. So, your attention is focused on Felix who’s very entertaining and responsive on his own. 

It starts as low moans that tell you he’s feeling good but you’re already looking for the high whines that you know he gives out. You hollow your cheeks and swirl your tongue in that way you know he likes, and the low groans turn into higher moans. They’re quieter than normal and you can tell he’s holding back, which is understandable, but you want him to let go. 

Your head gradually bobs faster and faster, with Felix’s moans getting higher and more frequent. With one particularly deep dip, he hits your throat and a loud whine breaks free. You do it again and again, letting Felix lose control. His hands twist in your hair, still not enough to cause any pain to you, but his hips stay still to let you set the pace. You know Felix is close and you both want it and are both ready to receive it, even so early in the night.

“No, no, little one. He’s not cumming yet.” Chan suddenly speaks, tone firm. 

Felix whines and you make a disappointed noise and slow down, not giving him enough of anything anymore. 

Felix pushes you off of him with a shuddering breath and a poorly concealed whine. After a moment of confusion, you switch places with him. He’s on his knees and starts peeling off your pants, with the noises of Chan shifting in the background. With every inch of skin that is revealed under your pants, he makes sure to kiss it, all the way down to your ankles. He pulls down your underwear after, with less reverence and more impatience this time. 

Before he can dive in, as he so clearly wishes to, Chan clears his throat across the room. 

“Felix.” Said man perks up and turns towards Chan, eager to please. “Turn them towards me and let me have a look, won’t you baby?” 

You obediently don’t move and let Felix turn your body, spreading your legs as well. Even without looking down, you know that you’re soaked already. Chan’s groan confirms it and you shift impatiently. Felix waits though, until Chan nods, before turning you back and getting his mouth on you. 

All things considered, he’s gentle but the build-up and tension makes each bit of pleasure like a shot of electricity through your body. He licks eagerly, tasting you and making you twitch. Your hands go his hair less nicely than his did before. You tug at the strands, which only makes him moan into you which makes your hips buck into his mouth. Each small sound from Chan makes you want to see and feel him but you wait, indulging in Felix as is. 

Felix knows exactly how you want it and with every minute that passes your whines get louder and with each flick of his tongue your brain gets fuzzier. Chan is taking a relatively hands-off approach for now but even with his seemingly infinite patience, he must want more. It’s hard to focus on that when Felix is eagerly slurping at your wetness and making you want to ride his face. You test the waters by rolling your hips once, twice, three times. When neither man stops you, you roll them incessantly. 

With no prior experience, Chan somehow seems to know exactly when to stop you from getting too close.

“Felix, stop.”

Felix eagerly obeys, and you whine loudly in disappointment. One look from Chan cuts you off and you resolve to not protest again when he finally walks over. He stands above both of you but looks down with fondness and not scorn. 

“How should we do this, pretty pets?” 

You don’t even look at Felix before boldly speaking to him, knowing it was mostly a rhetorical question.

“Fuck me! Please?” Your sudden boldness is tempered by the way that Chan looks at you and you dip your head down.

Felix visibly brightens once his fuzzy brain puzzles out that he’ll probably get to be back in your mouth. He’s the first one onto the bed and you follow, Chan coming up behind you. Your kiss with Felix is interrupted by Chan tugging your shirt over your head and shoulders. He pulls it off and you turn around to pull his own clothes off, bringing Felix over as well. 

Chan laughs when you both eagerly tug at his own clothes, trying to pull everything off at once.

“Slow down little ones. You’ll get it all soon.” 

You and Felix stop and stare when his shirt comes off and you are suddenly very aware of him. It isn’t that Chan hides how muscular he is, just that you didn’t pay too much attention to it before. Now, you’re certainly paying a lot of attention. It’s broken when Chan goes to Felix’s shirt and you’re as excited as usual to reveal what’s underneath. 

Just the sight of them alone nearly has you drooling and your hands run over their bodies at the same time, hardly believing they’re both in front of you. There’s hardly a chance to admire them as they both want to see you as well and pull your shirt up, one hand on either side. 

Chan’s hands get on you and dip lower, lower and all the way down to between your thighs. You shiver and watch his face, waiting for his next move. Felix’s hands go up, to your nipples. His warm hands on you makes you shiver but still, you watch Chan who just is not moving. It makes you want to whine and beg but you know, almost for sure, that he’d disapprove. So you wait. The light touches on your nipples makes you whimper and moan occasionally and Chan watches you. 

With a slowness that makes you want to scream, he pushes one finger inside. Even the barest feeling of being full makes you shudder and sigh in relief. After a few thrusts of his fingers where he meets no resistance, he pushes a second one in. You make a high noise in your throat and lean back against Felix’s chest, who takes the easy opportunity to kiss along your neck and shoulder. 

The sensitivity of being so close from Felix’s mouth is still there and it has you moaning louder than you normally would. One of your hands reaches out and grabs Chan’s hand that is laying on his thigh. He doesn’t stop you so you bring it to your mouth and suck on two of his fingers. Felix lifts his head and groans at the sight, Chan’s pretty hands in your beautiful mouth. 

Both men seem to thoroughly enjoy just playing with and teasing you, and it feels so good that you honestly don’t want them to stop. But you’re also craving so much more. With reluctance, you pull Chan’s fingers out of your mouth and whine at him.

“Daddy, please!” 

He raises an eyebrow at your insistent tone and pushes another finger into you. It makes your head fall back onto Felix’s shoulder but also increases the need of being filled by Chan right now. 

“No~ need you to fill me up, please.”

He slams his fingers into you, hard and deep and it makes you gasp. 

“Do these fingers not fill you enough? They just aren’t good enough for you.”

Felix behind you huffs then laughs, clearly caught between finding Chan’s teasing amusing or exasperating on your behalf. 

“Don’t make me say it! You know what I want.”

Felix finally starts sucking marks on your shoulder and it makes you sigh happily, a good distraction for just a moment before Chan speaks again. 

“I wanna hear you say it, sweetheart. I want to hear you beg.”

Chan’s tone makes even Felix gasp, his mouth disconnecting from you and a sudden, hot breath caressing your sensitive skin. You shiver from the many sensations on your body and the sudden addition of his clear order. 

“Want… want your dick, please. Daddy, fuck me!” 

After you’re done speaking Chan puts his fingers back in your mouth, letting you suck on them contentedly. If you’re going to get what you want you have to leave what you have and Chan pulls all of his fingers out of you at once. You know better than to whine so you hold it back, but your eyes screw shut in displeasure. 

“All fours, doll. Come on now.” Chan coaxes, and Felix also sighs when he has to disconnect from you. Chan takes that time to get a condom, and when he turns he just admires you and Felix on the bed. A perfect picture, but one that he’s also involved in tonight. 

You get on your hands and knees then just wait for them to touch you again. Felix knows he’s still a bit sensitive and waits for Chan to start. Chan with infinite patience that is now absolutely killing you. His hands are feeling you up, down your ass and thighs and back up again. When he notices how obviously impatient you both are he finally lines himself up with your entrance and pushes in. 

It makes you sigh. The opening of your mouth prompts you to look up at Felix who smiles down at you. You push your neck out, wanting him in your mouth and he pets your head. His fingers lift your chin and make you look up at him again.

“Be good for us, baby. Make us feel good.”

You eagerly nod and he finally moves closer. Once the tip of his dick is in your mouth, you start swirling your tongue around it. The moment he thrusts in you open your mouth wider and let him use it. It doesn’t take Chan and Felix long, as close and in sync as they are, to set a rhythm where when one of them pushes in the other pulls out. Chan’s thrusts push you towards Felix so much that his cock is nearly always in your mouth fully. 

At some point, you can feel the drool starting to drip down your chin and Felix coos while he wipes it away. 

“So messy, baby! Drooling all down my cock.” 

All you can do is hum in agreement and hope he hears it. Being absolutely ruined with him in your mouth is always a fun experience and having Chan behind you improves it quite a lot. Speaking of Chan. His hand has come around and two of his fingers are feverishly rubbing your clit. It makes the long-awaited pressure build-up and he groans when you clench around him. 

“Such pretty pets in front of me. Wet holes dripping down our dicks and making everybody messy. You just can’t hold it in, can you little one? That’s ok, we know you’re enjoying it.”

Chan’s voice is raspy when he speaks and it bolsters your confidence to know how good he’s feeling, too. It’s not as if you can say or do much about it. Especially not when you can feel an orgasm building and he thrusts so hard to make you dizzy. 

Felix broke back into high whines a minute or two ago. When he speaks, it’s strained and he can barely get more than a few words out at a time if he can think them at all.

“Gonna cum. I want you to- to swallow it. Holy fucking shit, your mouth is so good, honey.”

You open your eyes, when did they even close, to look up at Felix. Attempting to get across how good he feels and how badly you want it. His chest rises and falls with quick, harsh breaths. Chan is so good behind you, rubbing your clit in small circles and long length filling you up better than you dared to hope. Your own peak is building but can barely focus on that for now, no matter how badly you want to. 

Felix hits your throat once then twice more and with a small cry and jerk of his hips he cums. His whole body quivers and trembles as his seed shoots down your throat. You cough on it for a moment but swallow it down. The convulsion of your mouth projects a high-pitched whine from his own. 

The moment Felix leans back, and your mouth is still left open, Chan drives into you roughly. A noise of surprise that you barely recognize comes from you before you start moaning, feeling your own high so presently. With Felix no longer in front of you, Chan holds your hips and pulls you back, slapping against your skin even louder every time he thrusts in. The continued stimulation on your clit is almost overwhelming in its intensity. 

Felix can see the grunts and groans leaving Chan’s mouth but can’t hear them due to your own keening moans. To everyone’s surprise, Chan cums before you do but doesn’t dare stop or slow down his pace, even when it overstimulates him. The movements of his hips are less fluid but it doesn’t make you feel any less pleasure. With each thrust, he had learned to hit nearly any spot you needed him to. 

He’s left panting but is rewarded when you let out a gasp and something that sounded like ‘gonna cum’. Your whole body shivers when it washes over you and even still Chan thrusts which makes shake that much more intense. Eventually, he stops when it becomes far less pleasurable for himself, he has a limit, but still rubs circles on your clit. A distraction shows in the way of Felix who climbs onto his lap. The relief and pleasure are still coursing through you and you flop to your side, curling your legs up and inwards. You watch them kiss through blurry eyes and how Felix submits to him so readily. 

“Lixie~ one more? Inside?” You pout. 

Chan coos and runs a thumb over your puffed-out bottom lip. It’s always a bit of extra fun when you let Felix cum inside. It’s a bit messy which neither of you really wants to deal with afterwards. Tonight’s special so why not add an extra little bit of a reward for him? 

Felix turns to you and gasps. When you don’t laugh it off, he moves in front of you.

“Can you ride me? If you’re not too tired, I mean, of course.” 

The way he nearly spits out the words, like they just can’t come out fast enough is adorable. You prop yourself up on your hands and look at Chan over his shoulder, with wide eyes just barely seen by him.

“Go ahead, pets. I’ll join the show again in a bit.” 

You giggle and nearly tackle Felix down by his shoulders. His hands go to your hips out of instinct but you sit on one of his thighs first. Sitting on his thigh, you nearly want to grind and ride on it, looking at Chan’s thighs makes you fully pout again. Those are some good thick ones that you’d love to sit on. Felix chuckles when sees what you’re staring at but tugs you forward by the hips to try and get you moving. 

You make a noise of recognition and easily sit down fully on his dick. The familiar fullness makes you let out a small mewl. 

“Does he feel good, kitty?” 

“Mmh, yes. Really good, daddy.” Your voice is breathy, different from the fully voiced moans from when Chan was railing you before. 

“Ride him then, doll.” 

The order that you were actually waiting for comes and you bounce, slowly. Chan is intending to let you go at your own pace but when a fair amount of time passes, with a fair few whiny moans from Felix, he tsks. 

“You can do better than that. Faster, harder. Make him feel good.”

You place both palms flat on Felix's chest and spread your fingers wide. Your thighs flex as you ride him and the slide makes you gasp. After you’ve set a steady pace for yourself you take your hand to your clit, starting a bit slowly but going quicker as the stimulation doesn’t quite satisfy you as you need it to. Felix watches you, enraptured. You try to look back whenever your eyes are open but it’s overwhelming and they swiftly screw shut again. 

Felix is back to his low groans that you can nearly feel and it’s nearly unbearably unattractive. Chan thinks the same if the small noises he, unintentionally, lets out are any indication. He tries to mumble praises to you but more often it’s Chan who takes the lead. 

“Such pretty little babies, putting on a good show. Only for daddy to see.” “You both look so cute and small. I’d be able to ruin you both so easily.” 

His words and encouragement make you clench and Felix jerks his hips up into you more than once as well. It’s good and you want to keep going but soon your thighs are a bit sore and tired and you begin to slow down again, whining in disappointment. 

“Looks like kitty can’t quite keep up anymore. Why don’t you do it instead, Lix?” 

The familiar nickname used in such a different context makes Felix suck in a sharp breath and his eyes widen. He’d really like to get used to that but as it is he holds your hips and starts pumping. Felix just manages to hit different spots inside of you when he does it himself and he has you moaning loudly within a minute. 

When you look back over at Chan he’s jerking himself off in time with Felix’s movements. He’s not sitting close enough for either of you to reach but his eyes flick all over both of you, taking it all in. Looking down at Felix, his eyes are completely closed but his mouth is open to let you hear his low moans. They get a bit louder and you can tell he’s getting close so you turn on the begging.

“Lixie, baby. Cum inside me, please. Want you to make it all messy and I wanna see it drip out.”

Felix grunts and starts cursing under his breath. In less than two minutes he spills inside you and the warm spurts of cum fill you up more. Your breath is heavy as you get closer again yourself. Chan finally joins you again, fingers replacing yours. Felix still jerks his hips into you as much as he can, but he’s too sensitive for too much of it. Still, Chan’s hand just works and you roll your hips into his hand to feel more. He barely has to do anything honestly. Still jerking himself off with the other hand you can tell he’s holding back by how tight his voice is.

“Use Lix and my hand to get yourself off, kitten. I’ll do it with you, too.”

Your mouth falls open and a long, loud moan comes out. Your second orgasm feels like an overflow of the senses, so much so that you barely even notice Chan spilling over yours and Felix’s legs. You come down with a shiver and your legs and fingers are left with the most shakiness. 

“Up, sweetheart. We wanna see it drip.” 

Felix’s voice is low and rough but not stern. You nod and slip off of him, laying down and letting them both see. It’s nothing you can see yourself but from both of their low noises, it’s very appreciated.

You’re all left panting, sweaty, and shaky. You stay on your back and throw your legs on top of Felix’s. Chan stands and shuffles off to find towels for you all first. It makes you recognize that you need water and you grumble and sigh before standing. Felix hears you and jumps up to get you on his back. Just as you get onto Felix’s back, Chan returns.

“Why don’t we dry ourselves off first, okay cuties?” 

You both sit back on the bed and look up at Chan with wide eyes. He continues to take care of you both as best he can and it makes you even sleepier, eyes drooping occasionally. Felix keeps you awake with small jabs and pokes. Everything you all need is done and Chan has agreed to stay for the night. All the buses have stopped, Ubers seem sketchy, and any other arguments he may have are shot down. As well as the argument for him just sleeping on the couch. Felix wiggles himself in the middle and shoots a firm ‘cuddle me’ at Chan before snuggling happily down and going to sleep.

You and Chan share small glances of bewilderment before settling in as well. It’s hesitant but you can feel how Chan eventually moves in, centimetres at a time, to do something that could be considered as cuddling Felix, if you really want to stretch it. The bed is full but instead of feeling crowded you feel comforted, knowing two of your favourite people are the ones there with you.

Chan wakes first but doesn't move in a way that would indicate he's in anything but deep sleep. Once he's sure neither of you are awake he sits up and gazes at both peaceful, sleeping faces in front of him. You're both beautiful in the throes of passion but there is something about the peaceful light of day that pangs his heart differently. 

Surreptitiously, under the blankets you and Felix hold hands but lay with eyes closed as you feel Chan looking, observing. He takes a heavy breath in that makes you want to sit up and ask, comfort him, but something about the stillness in the air stops you. 

"Fuck," he curses lowly, but in a different way than the last night. "You're both so beautiful, I wish every morning could be like this." 

You stay quiet, even if thoughts race through your mind, but sensitive Felix gasps, no matter how hard he tries to muffle it. Chan leans back against the wall to create as much distance as possible. 

Felix sits up slowly and you follow a moment after. Chan lets out some nervous, forced chuckles. The confidence of yesterday has melted away, leaving the usual, shyer Chan sitting here instead. 

"Channie?" He shudders. "What did you mean by that?" 

He stutters and fumbles, trying not to lie but also keep feelings intact. Eventually, he just stops and freezes everything for a moment. Then before you can even think, he tries to leap off the large bed towards the door. Felix is fast and grabs one wrist while you rush to stand and grab the other to push him back down.

There is no fight, only an acceptance to sit back down. 

"Channie, please." Felix chokes out the words and when you look at him he's on the verge of tears. 

Why is unknown, but it's clear this is going to be a difficult conversation. 

Chan sighs and runs a hand through his hair, flipping his head to look at both of you. 

"I never thought this was going to happen, any of this. Last night, everything this morning. But whatever happens, don't let my words affect your relationship."

He looks at both of you separately to receive an agreement. 

"I really like you both, romantically. Maybe even love but I've tried to avoid the thoughts. For obvious reasons."

In the silence of anticipation, Felix's tears had dried on his eyes but now they sit, teetering on the edge of his eyelids.

"Lix. Are you ok? You look like you're about to burst." You speak gently to Felix because he looks like a terrified little animal. 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I was never going to tell you." 

Your confusion only grows at his vague words and you can't see Chan from the way he's turned his head. 

"I understand if you wanna break up with me. I'd probably want to if the roles were reversed."

A gentle hand on his knee prompts Felix to raise his head and look at you.

"It's ok, love. I'm sure we can work this out. Just tell me the whole story first."

"Chan and I have been best friends for so long, years before I thought about dating anyone. He's seen all my highs and lows. Then you came and changed that a lot and we started dating. But still, somewhere along the way I... I developed feelings for him." 

Felix curls himself so small it seems impossible and leans away from both you and Chan. You sit in stunned shock and try to make sense of everything that just happened. When your eyes focus again Chan's eyes are flicking between you and Felix. Felix. 

You mentally curse and lunge towards him, embracing him in a tight hug. 

"Can you look at me, my love?" You coax gently. 

He sobs harder at the loving, familiar pet name coming from your mouth but obliges. Somehow still the prettiest man you may have ever seen, but that's not important.

"It's ok." You say simply. 

Felix looks at you in confusion, sobs still wracking his body periodically even as he tries to hold them back. 

"Your feelings for Chan, they're ok." 

You can hear the small, confused noise Chan makes from his spot behind you but mostly you hear the loud whimper of Felix in front of you. 

"What? Are you joking? How are you ok with knowing your boyfriend has a crush on someone else. His best friend, as well. One of the people you're both closest to. And you're ok with that?" 

The points Felix is making aren't completely out there. But there's something that flares up in your chest, something amazing, when Chan and Felix interact so tenderly. Their normal banter is what you expect but when it's quieter or later they get softer and so do you when looking at them. 

"I am. I like that you two have an incredible dynamic completely separate with me. Of course, I love talking to you both as well. I can't explain it, but it's there. So yes, it's ok." 

Felix launches himself onto your lap and buries his face in your chest. You focus on him, nuzzling your nose in his hair and rubbing his back. To the point where you almost get lost in your own world completely. Of course, almost is the key word. 

Chan watches in envy as you both drift off into a comfortable affection and closeness. There was just a whole confession but he can’t help but feel like he doesn’t fit perfectly, not yet anyways. He wants to hold you like that, or Felix, or both. Maybe later, not today. Today he needs to go home and let you have a day to yourselves. 

Chan is off the bed before you can even speak and you and Felix look at him, puzzled. 

"Haha, um, I just don't to y'know intrude on your morning routine or anything. You don't need to get up I'll just go, yeah. We can talk more another time." 

Your deadpan look to Chan somehow increases as he says 'intrude' and you're sure Felix has pulled out his sad kitty look. 

"Chan. Bang Chan. Christopher Bang. Sit down." You order.

Felix laughs when he follows your order, almost dazedly, and sits back down to fiddle with his hands. 

"Can I kiss you? For real this time." You ask, Felix moves off your lap in anticipation.

Chan looks up at you with his jaw hanging down. He nods then closes his mouth and clears his throat.

"Yes. Please." 

You're half on his lap with your arms around his neck before he pulls you in. After a dizzying minute or so you pull away. 

Felix would be mad you got to kiss Chan with feelings first if it wasn't so damn attractive. When neither of you moves he whines and does grabby hands in that general direction. 

You move out of the way and watch as Chan goes to Felix without hesitation. Chan is wider and could probably cover Felix up entirely from the right angle. They're so soft. Chan's hands are barely touching Felix's waist and Felix's hands are moving up Chan's arms and shoulders. They’re beautiful. Absolutely stunning. When they pull away from each other your hands go to rest on each of their shoulders’ and you level Chan with a stern look. 

“Just listen until I’m done. No interrupting. Just listen.”

He has the presence of mind to just look slightly sheepish and nod.

“Me and Felix have been dating for a while but that will make you no less of a valued or important member of this relationship. If we’re going to do this then we all need to communicate our feelings to each other. So, Chan. If we ever, ever, make you feel left out in any way, you need to tell one of us. That goes for all of us in any situation.” 

You sit back but Felix catches you and pulls you into his side. Chan follows his lead and moves in front of you, putting his long arms to use and hugging both of you. You all sit in peace and adoration for a bit before stomachs begin to grumble a bit. Chan is the first to disentangle himself and the look of disbelief that crosses his face all over again is almost comical. 

"You're... This is ok?" 

You giggle at his still present disbelief. Hesitantly, you reach one hand towards him and he grabs it and moves toward you. While still making eye contact he gingerly presses his lips to the top of Felix's head. 

"It's real, Channie. I promise." You giggle then whisper.

Chan pulls his hand back and looks at both of his palms in shock. You give him a few moments then he reaches his arms back around both of you as best he can and buries his face in Felix's shoulder. 

"Thank you." He mumbles. 

"Three's a party, not a crowd for us.” You reply, leaning on Felix as well.

Felix is the glue that binds you two together, and the one that got you here in the first place. For not the first time and not the last, you're happy to have met him. 

#stray kids smut #bang chan smut #lee felix smut #stray kids imagines #bang chan imagines #lee felix imagines #stray kids oneshot #bang chan oneshot #lee felix oneshot #bang chan x reader #lee felix x reader #stray kids x reader #stray kids scenario #bang chan scenarios #lee felix scenarios

[khaleesiofalicante]

Okay so I just reread my whole message and it's maybe going to be a bit overwhelming, so if you don't feel like reading just delete it. I won't mind, I know you said you were overwhelmed the other night already, so don't read it if your not sure it's okay. (Also I hope you're better now!).

This is probably weird and cringy and don't make sense because I wrote while being all emotional, I'm sorry in advance... But I still want to send it, because I feel like I need to say it to you and don't know how to say it another way.

It's about this:

So, I read this post, and just, burst out crying? Haha yeah...

The thing is, I've hurt people in the past because my emotions were overcoming me and I didn't know how to deal with whatever was going on inside my head. I've hurt people I love, people who hadn't do anything wrong, because I'm a stupid mess.

I don't really know if I was trying to hurt them, I mean I was totally aware that what I was saying would hurt them, but when this happens I kinda feel like I'm watching myself from the outside of my body and have no control of what I'm doing anymore. Sometimes I'm aware and want nothing more than be able to stop myself, though I don't manage to, but sometimes I just watch, and just don't know what I feel or think. There's this floating moment where I don't feel concern by what's happening. It's confusing.

I hate this. I hate that I'm like this. I know this is wrong and I don't want to be like this. I'm trying to get better and it's been a while since the last time it happened, but I'm terrified of it happening again.

I know I'm not the only one feeling like this, I've been told, but somehow it doesn't feel real? I never met anyone outside of my family who actually act that way. No one has ever do that to me except for my family. So on the outside, it's just little silly despicable me so far haha.

So what you said in your post just, hit me hard. Maybe it didn't seem much to you, I realize it was just a few words and it's weird that I focused so hard on them but my emotions like, blew away before I could think.

That you, someone so wise and clever and kind and respectful and caring, had ever felt this way? This means a lot. This means so so much to me. It's been a few hours since I've read it now but I'm still shaking.

I think until now I never realised that I could, maybe, actually be a good person someday? It feel weird saying that. I'm so used to think I'm bad that I kinda forgot I think it, if it make sense. I never really gave a thought about changing. Acting better yes, but changing what's deep inside is another story.

But you, you are good. I know I don't really know you so it might be weird to say, but I know you are. You're one of the brightest soul I have ever had the privilege to observed. You make people want to try and be a little brighter too. You make people stronger.

So maybe, maybe, if even you have felt like that before, maybe I can be good too? I mean, I guess I shouldn't be too self-important, I shouldn't expect much really, but I want to try and not be too bad. I don't want to bring hurt in the world.

Sorry, I'm not making sense am I? I don't really know how to verbalise what I'm feeling but what you said, I felt it going deep, echoing until the very end of myself. I feel I'm going to keep those words within me and they'll help me keep moving forward.

It's not the first time you help me you know? The way you interact with the world bring me peace. It make me want to do my best. I come here and I feel like I want to be brighter like you.

Maybe it's silly haha, it's just me being awkward again, sorry. But I just felt like I had to say thank you. I feel very very grateful to you for everything you doing. You're an inspiring person.

So, I'll keep doing my best, I don't want to stop now. Maybe I can be better, maybe I can't, but I somehow feel hopeful tonight.

This is so funny really, I'm always trying hard to do better because I'm so scared of who I would be if it wasn't for this, but right now I want to do my best because I think I can really become better. I'm hopeful about myself, and it feels strange, but good strange. You're just amazing like that.

This was very long and probably didn't make much sense and was probably too emotional, sorry, I don't mean to overwhelm you, sorry if I did...

But I felt like I needed to thank you somehow. At least try.

Thank you. I'm so grateful I've found your blog. Thank you for making the world a better place to be in. Thank you for inspiring me to try and be better. Thank you. Thank you for being you.

Thank you for existing Dani.

I know it couldn't have been easy to write all this down - and share it with me (and the whole world). So, thank you for doing that. I'm proud of you for doing that.

There is a line in LBAF. I think about it a lot.

"David supposed there were two kinds of people in the world.

There were people who got mad at themselves when things went wrong.

There were people who got mad at everyone around them when things went wrong."

I think you and I are the second type. When things get tough and we don't know what to do, we get mad at the world.

But what is the world if not the people we love? What is our world if not our family and friends?

I still get angry. All the time. I want you to remember that anger is not a bad thing. It's not a bad emotion. It's just as valid as happiness and sadness. But the way we express anger - that's what can be dangerous and hurtful sometimes.

So, it's okay for you to be angry as much as you want as long as you figure out how to process it and let it out without hurting yourself and those around you.

I think learning this difference, that's what helped me. Because a first I was trying to not get angry - which only pissed me off more. So, I tried working on letting it out in ways that made sense to me. I started writing (which helped a lot). Not just when I was angry. But in general. As someone who keeps a lot of things to herself, writing really helps me express how I feel without feeling quite so vulnerable. I listen to classical music. I put on a face pack and just lie on the floor. I run. I do what I have to do.

It's a process. You will get there. I promise.

Another important thing:

We've been taught that anger is something that lives inside of us. We need to cool it down. We need to suppress it. Otherwise, we will explode on someone else.

But you know what I realised?

For me, anger doesn't live inside me. It's not something I keep and nature inside myself. Instead, I feel like it's around me. It's wrapped around me like a bubble wrap. And when I get angry, I feel like the bubble wrap around me gets tighter and tighter until I explode. I don't explode from the inside. I explode from the outside.

Figuring that out helped me control my anger too. Because that bubble wrap consists of different things. For me, it was my father. But that problem went away last year. And the other thing was my job - which I quit a couple of months ago. So, the bubble wrap is a little lighter now. I can breathe. I don't feel suffocated or feel like I need to explode.

So, if the bubble wrap gets tighter for you, just start popping the bubbles. Instead of trying to control the emotion, figure out what is making you feel that way and get rid of it - in a way that is possible for you. It really helps.

You don't have to become a good person, Marie.

I don't think we are good people or bad people. We are just people - who are capable of making both good and bad decisions. Our choices and how we act on these choices define who we are.

We cannot become better people. We just have to be the same person - but now we need to be someone who just makes better choices.

Choose wisely. That's all you need to do. Make better choices. One choice at a time.

You will figure it out and you will feel free and lighter.

I promise.

It's not like I've crossed the sea and found the shore. It's not like it's your turn to find the shore now.

We are both swimming in the same damn ocean. I just got better at swimming. You will too.

Remember to breathe. Find yourself a floatie. Put on sunscreen.

Something tells me you are a good swimmer too.

#sending you all my love #support #anger

[min-chery]

Whiskey and smoke | KTH & PJM

Pairing: Taehyung / Named OC / Jimin

Rating: 16+

Warnings: Bartender Taehyung!au / Rich Jimin!au / vague mentions of sexual assault / drinking / smoking / Written in OC's POV

Summary: She has been bound to follow orders all through her life. Living a life of restraint, Taehyung had become her only source of relief. And one day, he and a very handsome stranger from the bar take a decision that rocks her damned world.

Word count: 2.9k

I swirl the amber liquid in the glass. Pegs after pegs of whiskey already In my system. It does me more good than harm. Has been doing it for the past 4 years.

It has become my companion over the years. I don't lose myself it. Never will. I find myself when have it by my side. I find the confidence I crave for. The world becomes brighter than it ever possibly could.

The bartender keeps a close eye on me, his lips forming a pout. He's sometimes the only one who cares about me. And I'll gladly indulge myself knowing I'm not unwanted.

"I'm alright Tae. It's not my first time drinking." I wave him off.

"That's why I'm worried, noona. Another family gathering?" He inquires.

"Hmm. And a few important clients from his company."

"You should tell them this isn't the life you want, Val. You're drinking yourself to death at this rate."

"It's not that easy." I sigh.

"It is that easy. You've never tried to know that." He whispers harshly.

"Don't act as if you care." I sneer. He talks as if it's that easy to confront them. Them. My manipulative parents.

"I do care, okay! You think I asked you out thrice because I don't care? All you've done those times was throw the same shitty excuse at my face. You won't understand how much I care, Valeria. You're too drunk to even try and understand how hard I'm trying to see you as just a bestfriend when we know we both are not just that." He looks disappointed in me for the first time and it breaks my heart. I look straight into his eyes without letting myself waver and he stares with the same intensity. He finally gives up, slamming the shaker on the counter before heading to the other side of the bar.

To hear him call me by name and not 'noona' or 'Val' makes me almost tear up. I sniffle, pulling my hair towards my face. The world blurs and the scenes from my first time meeting him take over.

It was in high school I first saw him. My bestfriend introduced me to this club. Back then this building had been used as a hangout spot for people interested in motorsports. Jungkook and I sneaked out from school on multiple occasions to meet with the people here. It was everything I had ever wished for. I had nothing to hide about among those people. Didn't have to pretend who I was. There was always free alcohol here. And the first time Jungkook brought me here, a guy had draped his arm over my bestfriend's shoulder and said "Who have you brought here with you, Jungkookie?"

He had smiled so wide at me, I wondered for a second if I was in heaven. How could someone have been so beautiful and been a human?

Jungkook had introduced us to each other and left us alone to get along. And we did. We got along so well and so fast, we were surprised. He talked my ear off about a girl he loved. Narrated so many stories about their happy life together. They sounded so happy and in love, that it struck me like a flash of lightning when he said she cheated on him multiple times. His eyes that had been scrunched up in a smile all afternoon and had suddenly taken a glossy sheen to them.

It had been the first time I had seen a man cry. I remember wondering if I could ever soothe him. If I could see him smile once again that day. But he recovered pretty quick. He had found something else to hold onto and love. Motor racing.

The sound of a throat clearing rings beside me and I lift up my face to look at the person. A man about my age peers at me from above his glass of scotch. There's a slight hint of a smile on his lips as if he's watched the previous conversation with Tae and finds our little fight amusing.

I sniffle and glare at him, which only makes him smile more openly. He sets down the glass on the counter and wipes the liquid off his plump lips with the back of his palm.

"Don't worry about him. He'll come around soon." He says, voice gentle and laced with a teasing smile.

"And I don't need a stranger telling me that about my bestfriend." I snicker. It makes a foul emotion crawl through my skin. To see an outsider talk about Tae, my Tae, as if he knows him better than I do.

"My my I should've probably introduced myself first. I'm Park Jimin. Taehyung's roommate." The smirk that's settled on the man's lips is so frustrating, it makes me want to punch him square in the nose.

"Do you smoke?" He asks. For once it feels like he's not mocking me. I nod, placing my hand in his when he extends it.

It's then I realize that I'm following a man that I've met for the first time outside. Beneath the arrogance, he seems like a gentleman by the way he's curled his fingers around mine. A fragility in the way he handles me.

We walk a few blocks away from the club. Music from the place we just left still faintly following us. Jimin then sits on the clean sidewalk, looking at me to sit down too. And I do. Sitting so close to him, I take to opportunity to really absorb his features into my brain. 'He's beautiful' is the conclusion my mind comes to.

He holds out a cigarette, waiting for me to put it between my lips. I part my lips open for him to do so. He gulps before doing so and then proceeds to take out his lighter. The orange light the flame produces shines on his face making him look handsome in a different way.

His eyes lift up from the cancer stick in my mouth to my eyes and fall back on my lips. He's quickly moving away from me as if he's scared of the effect I would have on him.

I take in puffs of the smoke, let it fill my lungs with the toxins. I still don't understand why it relieves me, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't. It's just as good of a friend of mine as is the alcohol.

"So you're the one who's been hooking up with Tae for so long." He says, pushing away the silence that had engulfed us. I nod, letting out the smoke I'd held in my mouth.

"I've known Tae my whole life. And I've seen him cry only a handful of times. The first time was back in high school. When he cut his ex-girlfriend out of his life. For good." He grits out the final part, eyes unfocused as he recollects his memories.

"And then a couple of years later. When you told him about your family. He didn't tell me anything other than how he thinks they're the shittiest people in your life. Didn't go into much detail about it. Just cried in my arms all night until he fell asleep." He's now looking at me with a soft look in his eyes.

"He told me he loved you that night. I always teased him about this Valeria who had his heart. Still has it. The last time I saw him cry was when you rejected him. The first time." I remember that day, I considered it the worst moment of my life. And Jimin wasn't the only one that saw him cry that day.

I woefully smile, feeling a lump in my throat grow bigger. Taking another long drag of the cigarette, I flick it onto the road. It doesn't fall far from me though. Jimin is stretching towards it and tossing it into a waste bin close by without lifting his ass up. He's smirking once again, winking at me. I laugh at his attempt to impress me with his aiming skills.

"They are shitty people. My family. I'm only something they use for their publicity stunts. Attending their business parties, walking around in rich gowns for the men to see. They never for once asked me what I wanted. All they've done is throw things at me and demand at me to be what they wanted me to be." I laugh, but it's anything but with happiness.

"I've abandoned my dreams to be a living doll for those people. I've had strangers my father's age run their filthy hands over my body. And he watched, that man. Watched his friends make his daughter feel like dirt. Can still feel the fingers of the guy my dad wants me to marry on my bare back from just hours ago." My voice cracks, tears no longer being able to be held within the confines of the waterline. As they tumble down my cold cheeks, I wrap my arms around myself. Feeling naked in my backless dress.

Jimin rustles beside me, shrugging his blazer down his shoulders and wraps it over me. He giving me an apologetic look which I wave off. I'm too tired to deal with the problems in my life.

"Why won't you agree to be Tae's girlfriend when you love him? The guy your dad chose is obviously a pathetic excuse of a man."

"I'm not the kind who stand up for themselves. I kept telling him that I'll never be able to turn down my father's order if he asks me to marry a rich businessman. I'd have to cut Taehyung out of my life and I can't do that to him. He deserves someone way better than that." I sniffle, wiping my face free of the moisture. Jimin's letting my words sink in, thinking of a response.

"Look, I've not had a great family either. Left them behind when I was really young. I let them know how forcing their decisions on me was not worth losing me. So, I understand how you must feel. But it's always nice to have someone fight for you, fight the whole world with you. And with Taehyung in your life, I don't know if there is anyone who'll be as careful with your heart as he is."

"Stop trying to set me up with him." I laugh.

"Just saying." He replies, his eyes closed into crescents as he joins in my laughter.

"Got another cigarette?" I ask as I move in closer to him. He worriedly looks at me and then nods. Once again lighting it up, he places it between my lips.

I take in a long drag and hold the smoke in my mouth. I watch Jimin gulp as I move in even closer to him. I blow it to his face, his eyes growing hooded as he looks at me through the toxic air. I pass the stick to him, asking him to do the same. He follows along, hollowing out his cheeks and blowing it to my face.

It makes my core thrum from the intensity of the scene. A hand with the number '13' tatted on the wrist holding a cigarette and the puff of smoke encasing the two of us. We've come incredibly close to each other, faces just centimeters away. He's slowly leaning in, eyes locked on my lips as mine on his. Our noses brush, a spark going straight to my brain.

I shift my head to the side, eyeing his soft ears. I lift up a finger to gently tug at the earring, toying with it as I breathe in his cologne. The soft flesh of his earlobe tend me irresistible and pull me in to press a kiss there.

Jimin's arms have wound themselves around me, his nose buried in my hair as I kiss his ear. Somehow, my mind has deemed him a safe place. Him being Taehyung's roommate playing a large role in my trust in the man I've met for the first time today.

"Val! Jimin-ah! Is that you two?!" Taehyung calls out, rushing towards us. I jump up from the sidewalk, walking towards him with Jimin trailing behind. As Taehyung nears us, he opens his arms. My eyes blur with unfallen tears and I smash into his chest.

He wraps himself around me, forming a protective embrace. I fist his black shirt at his chest, cuddling and making myself smaller in his arms. His hands run through the length of my hair, his cheek smushed at the top of my head. He's my warmth on a cold night and without him, I'd fall into a pit of eternal winter.

"I'm sorry, Val." He says, not letting go of me and I'm glad he didn't. I wasn't ready to leave his embrace yet.

"You had a tough time and came to the club for some relief and me being a dumbass lectured you." He says against my hair.

"Don't call yourself a dumbass." I pout, weakly hitting at his chest. His laughter fills my ears, along with Jimin's quiet chuckle. I look up at Jimin from where I'm buried in Tae's torso. He looking at us with newfound adoration.

"I'm sorry though." He mumbles.

" 's okay."

I'm being moved away from Taehyung's chest after a minute, but still held towards him by my waist. Taehyung looks at Jimin, a quiet conversation between them. And Jimin walks closer to the two of us, his hands going around Taehyung's shoulder.

"Hi baby." Jimin coos, making a faint red dust across Taehyung's cheeks. Jimin then places a kiss on his lips, a quick peck before they're both looking at me.

"I've been wanting to tell you something noona." Taehyung starts, his hands tightening around me.

"I and Jiminie have been roommates since high school. And we've decided to move to The States."

It hits me like a flash of lightning when he says so. He's moving away. Far away from me. And somehow it invokes a deep fear in me. Jungkook also moved to the US after college. I feel dizzy realizing I'd be left alone in the hands of my family. And I'd rather die than let that happen.

"Tae..." I whisper, the tears running down my cheeks almost instantly. His eyebrows pinch in worry, hands holding my face. His thumb brushes my cheekbones, catching the tears as they fall.

"I found an amazing photography program at one of the colleges and it fit right in my budget. I won't even have to get a student loan for it. It was our dream remember? Me taking photography while you took business courses." I nod. I remember talking about it right after we hooked up for the first time. I had laid on his chest, his arms holding me as close to him as possible.

"We're both being stagnant in our lives, Val. How long do you think we can keep hooking up? You're going to leave me behind the second you get engaged to a stranger." His eyes are filling up in pain.

"I'm coming with you, Tae. I'll suffocate here without you. Don't leave me, Tae. Don't leave me." I'm sobbing hard in his arms, clutching hard at his waist as if it would stop him from going away.

Jimin moves in, taking both me and Tae into his arms. He places a gentle kiss on both of our foreheads.

"We'll take you with us if you want, moonlet. You've got a week to yourself before we move. You can take some time and think about this decision, alright? We need you to be sure you want to come with us." he speaks benignly.

"I don't need more time. I want to come with you." I say with determination.

"That's good, Val. Jiminie will take good care of us. He's got a huge apartment in New York. Got a shit ton of money. He's really kind too. And god the things his dick makes you feel." Taehyung groans, throwing his head back and then breaking into laughter. Jimin and I join in, basking in the warmth his smile provides. We both love this adorable boy with a boxy smile and I'm sure it is seen in our eyes.

"You're making me sound like a sugar daddy, you idiot." Jimin says, hitting him softly at the back of his head.

"It is true though." Tae laughs. "Looks like lover boy's starting to feel things for you, noona."

Jimin blushes, trying to stand tall and not shying from our collective gaze. In the end, he gives up, stuffing his face in the crook Taehyung's neck.

"He doesn't have a problem with polyamory too. He's the full package, this guy." he smiles, ruffling Jimin's hair.

We don't stay there for long after our conversation. We head to Jimin and Taehyung's apartment and I stay the night. We all spend time getting to know each other better. Me and Jimin bond very fast, learning we're both similar in a lot of ways. I and Tae let Jimin in on our stories from years ago. I and Jimin even kiss for the first time that night, leaving us warm and blushing.

As the night progresses and we lay in each other's arms on the living room floor, I realize I'm being given another chance at life. Maybe running away from the people who birthed you isn't the best way to start your life again. But it feels good. To finally leave behind the toxicity. In a week's time, I'll be free. And I intend on making the most out of my life after.

#books & libraries #writers #writing #wattpad #bts fanfiction #btsboys #bts fanfic #bts wattpad #wattpad writer #bts taehyung #taehyung fanfic #bts jimin #jimin fanfic

[babyboyblasty]

Chapter 8:

Bakugou opened his door the next morning, his hair a bit squished on one side, to three excited idiots. "What?" he frowned, rubbing his eyes rid of sleep.

"HAPPY LAST DAY AS A GIRL, BAKUGOU!" was screamed in his face by Mina, Uraraka, and Hagakure. "We're going shopping today, okay?" Mina grinned. She /did/ tell him yesterday that she wanted to take him to the mall so if he thought she was just joking he had another thing coming.

Bakugou stared at their bright smiling faces (or two of them at least) for a good three seconds before he slammed the door in their faces and went back to continue getting ready for school. He was usually an early riser but ever since the quirk he didn't really feel like having his morning run or doing his usual morning routine. Being a girl was exhausting. He grabbed his comb and started brushing out his hair.

From the other side of Bakugou's door, Mina turned to Uraraka and Hagakure and smirked. "You know what this means, girls?" she asked and they both nodded. "Time to pull out the big guns."

...

"Why am I doing this again?" Kirishima asked, nervously scratching the back of his neck. He wasn't sure if their plan was the best.

"Becauseeeee~ You're the only one who can. Convince him to go please?" Mina pouted and the other two girls joined in in pleading with the redhead to do them the favor.

"But why me?" he asked, looking at the girls then at Bakugou's room. It was convenient to the girls how they didn't have to go far to find Kiri since their rooms were literally right next to each other. When they were going to knock on his door, said boy was already on his way back from the gym so they just grabbed him and told him their brilliant plan.

"You're his best friend, Kirishima-kun. If anyone can do it, it's you!" Hagakure cheered on.

"If you ask, I just know he'll agree. Bakugou can't say no to you" Uraraka jumped in with a grin. Kiri slightly smiled because well, not to brag, but it was kind of true. He prided himself in the relationship he managed to build with Bakugou over the years. Still, he didn't want to abuse their friendship and get Bakugou to do things he didn't want to do.

Mina could tell what he was thinking and put an arm over his shoulder to reassure him that wasn't the case. "We're inviting the whole class, Kiri. It'll be a class outing and we just want Bakugou to come. Ever since the quirk accident he just goes from class to the dorms. Let's take him out for a bit. Try asking and if he still doesn't want to go then we'll stop insisting. We promise."

Kirishima was a bit hesitant but he ended up agreeing. It'll be very unmanly for him not to at least give it a try to convince Bakugou when everyone else was going to go. He didn't want the blonde to feel left out and stay at the dorms alone. Worst case scenario is that he tells him no. If that happens then Kirishima will just stay behind too.

The girls waved him goodbye and Kirisima was left alone in front of Katsuki's door. He gave himself a little pep talk then knocked. He heard noise from the other side then the door opened to reveal an expectant looking Bakugou holding the door open with one hand and the other resting on his hip, an raised eyebrow as he looked up at Eijirou. He was wearing the girl uniform again, all except for the blazer, and Kirishima turned a light pink. Momo really did make everything to size. The clothes hugged his figure really well. "Hey bakubro. Can I come in?" Kirishima smiled and Bakugou stepped aside wordlessly to let him inside. Kirishima thanked him and stepped into the blonde's room. Bakugou closed the door behind him and leaned back against the door to look at Kirishima who was taking a seat on Bakugou's desk chair. The boy twiddled with his fingers, trying to figure out how to bring about the topic as casually as possible.

"What is it? I can tell you have something to say so hurry up and spit it out. I don't want to be late" Katsuki crossed his arms over his chest in impatience. All that did was push Katsuki's breasts up and since Bakugou never really bothered to button up his school shirt all the way, it showed a bit of the cup from the black bra he was wearing and Kirishima gulped, looking away. "I, erm, are you going to go to the mall with the rest of the class today?" he asked and cursed himself that he wasn't more smooth in asking.

Katsuki raised an eyebrow. So that's what he wanted to ask? He kicked off the door with a scoff. "Fuck no. I interact with those losers enough as it is" Bakugou answered, going over to his closet to grab the blazer he had hung there the night prior. Kirishima knew Bakugou didn't mean it though. He knew that Katsuki secretly really cared about his classmates especially after three years of getting to know them, but he just didn't like admitting it. He didn't have a reputation as class 3-A's bad boy for nothing.

"Oh come on, Bakugou. It'll be no fun without you there too, man" Kirishima stood up and went behind Bakugou to wrap his arms around his waist like Mina did, resting his chin on top of his head affectionately. If Kirishima was a cat then he'd definitely be purring.

"Oi! Do you wanna die, hair for brains!?!" Bakugou growled and turned around in the boy's hold, reaching up to put a hand over Kirishima's face and let out an explosion. Kirishima, who had predicted he'd do that, hardened his face just in time and only laughed but let go of his Bakugou regardless. He couldn't help but feel fond of the angry look Katsuki was looking up at him with. When did angry Bakugou start looking so cute? If Eijirou was two or three inches taller than Bakugou when the other was a boy, as a girl Kirishima had to be at least a head taller now. Maybe even slightly more.

"Please Bakugou? Just for a bit and if you want to leave afterwards then I'll go with you. We can even go pick up a bowl of that spicy curry you like so much or something" Kirishima smiled cutely, pointy shark teeth showing. Bakugou looked like he was thinking it over and Kirishima already counted that as a win in itself. There was only one finishing move left. His secret weapon. Kirishima used his quirk to change his face into ragged pieces of rock to look like how it did when he was using unbreakable. Because of this, his vocal cords were also hardened and it's difficult to talk much in that form so in a deep, hoarser voice than his usual one, he got out a 'please' and that's what finally did it.

Bakugou felt like he was just struck through the heart and he turned an embarrassingly fast shade of red. He groaned and put his hands over his face to hide it from Kirishima. "Fine" he mumbled out quietly but Kirishima heard nonetheless and unhardened to hug Bakugou excitedly.

"Yay! You won't regret it I promise!" Kirishima was shining brighter than the sun as he held a flushed Bakugou against him. The shorter boy/girl let him this time since he was still too busy hiding away his face with his hands.

"I better not, shitty hair, or you're dead" Bakugou answered before adding in "And stop begging me when you’re like that, dumbass! I'll kill you!" Fuck how that form made Bakugou weak. Why does Kirishima have to look so cool?

...

Izuku was already in class for the day and he listened as Mina announced to the class that they should all go to the mall today since it was Saturday and they don't have school tomorrow. It had been a while since they went out as a class so Midoriya was excited to go to the mall together with everyone. Apparently he wasn't the only one who thought that way because almost everyone instantly agreed. They've been working so hard that it was a good idea to go out and distract themselves. Have some fun.

Mina's phone beeped and she pulled out her phone and read the text she received with a huge smile. It was Kirishima telling her Bakugou was going! "Ochako-chan! Bakubabe said he'll come with us!" she squealed and Uraraka cheered.

Izuku was surprised that Kacchan had accepted since it was rare he wanted to hang out with them but he was very happy he said yes. Maybe outside of a school setting he could try and get closer to Kacchan? They could maybe even get some alone time together. 'That's if Kirishima could leave Kacchan's side for at least a few seconds' Midoriya thought bitterly to himself with a frown before he snapped himself out of those thoughts. Why did he think that? Midoriya loved Kirishima-kun. He was so nice and a great friend so he doesn't know where that thought came from. Izuku couldn't help but feel a bit guilty afterwards.

Katsuki arrived to class a few seconds later with Kirishiman laughing beside him, the blonde wearing a scowl but that wasn't anything new. They both went to their assigned seats and Izuku blushed a bit when the blonde sat in the chair in front of him. The rest of his classmates were excitedly talking about what they wanted to buy and do at the mall and Iida was at the front trying to get them to settle down. Only when Aizawa walked in did everyone immediately shut up. Izuku could tell today was going to be a great day.

...

A series of knocks on his door made Bakugou groan. School was over and he had barely arrived at his dorm. He tossed his backpack on the chair of his desk and pulled open the door. "You've got to be shitting me."

There, facing him, were Kirishima and Uraraka holding up hair clips, a straightener, a brush, and a hairdryer. "Oh don't worry, this isn't everything. The rest of the girls will be here in a bit with the rest" Uraraka informed him.

Bakugou regretted all his life decisions.

_

BONUS:

Todoroki tapped his pencil on the desk. The night before he had a bit of trouble sleeping because he just couldn't seem to get Bakugou out of his head. He had tossed and turned almost the whole night so when Mina told them they should all go to the mall, Todoroki wasn't really feeling it. "Are you alright, Todoroki-kun?" Momo asked from beside him with a worried face.

"Yes. You don't need to worry, Yaoyorozu. I just didn't get much sleep last night" he explained and Momo nodded in understanding, continuing her talk with Jirou who was standing beside her desk. Uraraka bounced over to Todoroki with a grin.

"Todoroki-kun, are you going to the mall with us? Deku-kun and everyone else is on board so I wanted to ask" she smiled and Todoroki gave the girl a small smile.

"I don't think I will, Uraraka. I think I'll be using today as a chance to catch up on a bit of sleep" he politely declined. Uraraka pouted.

"Well, alright. If you're sure" Uraraka smiled at him in understanding. At the call of her name Uraraka turned around to see Mina excitedly waving her phone over her head a few desks away from them. "Bakubabe said he'll come with us!" Mina continued and Uraraka cheered because their plan had worked. She knew Kirishima could do it.

Uraraka turned back to Todoroki. "I hope you get some rest, Todoroki-ku-" she began but was cut off when the dual haired male interrupted with an "I'll go" with the most serious face she's ever seen. Uraraka beamed.

[word count: 2030]

#bakubowl #fanfic #boku no hero academia #bakugou x everyone #bnha #gender bender #temporary fem!bakugou #fem!bakugou #bakugou centric

[poormeowmeowcollector]

Oh My God They Were Roommates! Just Roommates

Warnings: mentions of nightmares, smoking, breakdowns and lactose intolerance.

Characters: aro!Bucky ace!Loki (also genderfuid)

Summary: After the end of the Avengers, some kept fighting and some retired. Bucky was too tired to keep going, and he wanted the normal life. But he didn't expect the God of Mischief asking for the same thing

Notes: I made the Bingo! This was so tough to write but I really love the results!

Read On AO3

The Avengers are now in the past, after the Big Battle with Thanos. Some have gone offworld, some keep fighting and some just stop and try to leave a normal life. They are too tired to keep fighting. And Bucky is one of them.

After the battle, and after Steve handed his legacy over Sam, Bucky promised himself a normal and calm life. Sam respected it and asked for no help, even if things go bad. He pays a visit once a week and stays in touch.

Bucky now works in a small coffeeshop, and rents a small apartment. It's simple and cozy, he likes it. And he likes his simple life with his friendly co-workers and nice customers and he even gets laid if he's lucky enough. He falls in love with this kind of life.

One day, on a rainy night of November, he hears a knock on the door. He doesn't bother fetching his metal hand as he crosses the room and opens it.

And he finds Loki outside, wet and shivering. He never liked rain, says that water can compromise his cold resistance.

"Come in, you must be freezing," Bucky opens the door and moves aside. Loki nods and smiles, kicking his boots out after his feet meet the carpet.

And Loki never mentions Asgard. They didn't mention it as much before Ragnarok, but now they act as if it never existed. And suddenly, they make traditional soups.

"Th-thank you…" Loki smiles.

"Don't mention it. Take that thing on, will ya? Settle near the radiator, over the couch, I'll make you something warm to drink, okay?" Bucky replies, pointing at the soaking wet coat Loki's wearing. He makes a small nod and does as he was told, watching Bucky as he fetches his hand and heads to the kitchen. He knows that he shouldn't give him tea or coffee, it's quite late and Loki's an insomniac, so he settles down with chocolate. Well, he has a big sweet tooth, why not enjoy a nice warm cup of chocolate?

He goes back to the couch, smiling just a bit when he sees Loki covered with the blanket like a burrito. Loki takes the cup, holding it to warm up his hands before he takes a long sip.

"Th-thank you, it's q-q-quite g-good," He smiles, his shivering chin making his stutter appear.

"Again, don't mention it. What brought you here?" Bucky relaxes on the other side of the couch, his eyes on Loki. Last time he remembers, Loki was fighting.

"I couldn't move past Tony… it, it went bad, even when I was fighting. All nightmares and flashbacks and I… I think it's killing me. I wanna get out of this, retire. It's just too much, I can't take it anymore," He admits, his voice trembling again but not because of the cold. Bucky reaches out to his hand, a tight grip on it with his fleshed limp. And Loki leaves a small smile.

"And, I thought if you could use a roommate…" He finishes his answer.

"To be honest, it does get a bit boring without some idiots yelling at toasters," Bucky smiles.

"Bread should not be flying!" Loki spits, and Bucky laughs at it. But Loki also lets his lips twist upwards.

"You can stay for how long you want. But we will have to get a bigger apartment, this one has only one bedroom," Bucky answers.

"Let me rest for tonight and it will have a second bedroom tomorrow," Loki eyes the former soldier. He almost forgets about his magic. "But I can settle down on the couch tonight, it's comfy," He smiles. Bucky smiles too, he really doesn't feel like abandoning the apartment, he worked so hard to make it the way it is.

And they start to catch up with each other, while they have the energy to stay up. But they both grow tired and end up muttering goodnight and going to sleep.

For Bucky, it was a normal Saturday sleep, when he knows his alarm clock won't wake him up. But Loki hadn't slept with such peacefulness since Tony died.

~~~

"WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU PUT MY HAIRBRUSH?" Bucky yells from the bathroom.

"WHY THE FUCK WOULD I TAKE YOUR HAIRBRUSH? I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU BRUSH THIS SHIT UNTIL NOW!" Loki yells back from the kitchen.

"LISTEN HERE, YOU LITTLE SHIT. IF YOU EVER DISRESPECT MY HAIR LIKE THA- Nevermind, I found it," Bucky mutters the last few words. And Loki hears him perfectly. Because they are 7 feet apart. They didn't need to yell at each other.

"Good for you. Now stop blaming me whenever you lose something," Loki answers, waiting for the soldier to appear on their viewing field. And he did. But they now sigh and pay more attention to the food they're cooking.

"Alright, I'm sorry," Bucky hums, Loki making only a throaty sound as an answer. "What're you making? It smells nice," He asks, moving towards the kitchen to peek at the pot.

"It's a traditional stew on Asgard, you'll see," Loki smiles, but actually means "no peeking until I'm done".

Usually, Bucky was the one doing the cooking. Loki is a better cook, they use a lot of seasoning and know which one goes where, but they don't like it as much. In fact, Bucky can swear they only cook when stressed, as if they try to distract themselves with the smell of whatever they throw into the food.

And they basically talk through the night, with interruptions when Loki is rushing to the bathroom and returning like they had to give birth over there. At least until they both grow tired and fall asleep, right beside to each other. For the first time in days, no screaming and waking up in the middle of the night occurs.

Bucky sighs, trying to find something else to focus on. Something other than Loki's odd behaviour the last days, with the ongoing silence and numbness. Other than the sudden Æsir cooking. Other than the smoking they pretend it doesn't happen, like Bucky doesn't recognize the smell of tobacco in them. Something other than the screaming he hears in the middle of the night and knows that he can't help because Loki tends to lean towards the fight response and Bucky cannot fight back without hurting them.

And he knows where those things lead to. It's not the first time that Loki started going south after Tony. And the previous one was ugly, by all means. What if this one turns out to be ugly too?

"What are you thinking of?" Loki asks, their voice carefully soft. Bucky tries to appear calm, it's not worth worrying Loki too.

"Nothing special…" He shrugs, avoiding eye contact. But he hears Loki sighing and moving the pot before they walk on the couch and sit beside him.

"Is that why you are so worried? Come on, speak it up. Weren't you saying that we should talk about what is bothering us?" They are still soft, like Bucky's the elephant in the room. They were always like this, prefer to soothe others than speak about their issues.

"I'm just worried…" Bucky admits. This will not end pretty…

"Do you want to say what is worrying you?" Loki sits closer, big green eyes staring at him. The dark circles that start creeping around them making them brighter.

"Nah, it's not worth it…" Bucky regrets it and stares elsewhere, gazing at the asexual and aromatic flags hanging on the doors of the two bedrooms. And Loki makes a small tutting sound.

"You can just say you don't feel like talking, lies weren't needed," They argue.

"Says the god of them," Bucky thinks out loud. He shouldn't have said that.

The room gets cold, something Bucky knows is happening because Loki loses some control of their Frostbite when overwhelmed. They stand up and go back to the kitchen, speaking only to inform him that the dinner is ready with a dead voice.

Bucky follows them with hesitance, waiting for them to fill a bowl with the brownish stew before he serves himself and settles on the chair opposite to them.

The stew is nice. The taste of meat is strong and the seasoning makes it kind of sweet. Not exactly Bucky's taste, but he doesn't mind it. Loki plays with the pieces of meat inside it, his right hand holding his head.

"It's nice," He mutters, hoping he can make a small smile appear.

"It's shit," Loki argues, letting the spoon fall on the bowl as they stare at it with disgust. And then, they cover their face with their hands, their rapid breathing echoing.

"Hey, it's just some stew," Bucky tries to soothe them down but they stand up and pace to their room, the door slammed behind them. Bucky wants to follow, walk in and hug them tight and soothe them down. But it's wiser to give them some space.

He tries to finish his own meal, but his appetite is long gone. So, he empties the bowls back in the pot and washes the dishes, trying to think of what to do. He can already feel the apartment going colder and colder, and it's never a good thing.

Maybe if he finds something to cheer up Loki? They like sweets, maybe a cake. Thank God there's a candy store down the road, it will be maybe ten minutes on foot.

Loki doesn't react when Bucky opens the door and leaves, they probably don't even care. Bucky's lucky enough to find a dark chocolate cake, their favourite flavor, and it's cheap enough to buy it. And Loki is still locked in the room when he returns with the dessert.

"Hey, can you please let me in. Just wanna check on ya, you know," Bucky knocks the door. The handle twists and the door opens after a blanket of frost covers it. But, Loki's magic is like a green light that acts like smoke…

Loki is sitting on the corner of the bed, the room around them covered with a thin layer of ice. They have dropped every illusion, even the Æsir one. They do it plenty of times in an attempt to get used to it, or when they can't control the seiðr. They smile just so, fags showing, as they light out a smoke on an ashtray.

"Will you stand there?" They ask, voice dead. There are no tears in their ruby eyes, not trembling from the crying. They just look numb.

Bucky nods and sits on the other side of the bed, placing the box in front of him and a fork above it. "I thought you would like some cake…" He hums, inspecting Loki as they glance at the box.

"Thank you," They try to smile but their face disagrees. They take the box to their lap and open it, frost appearing on the paper that touches him and the fork.

"So, do you feel like speaking?" Bucky asks. They hate showing it, but they love talking and it actually helps them a lot.

"It's just some homesickness. Don't worry, it will pass…" They shrug one shoulder and take a bite of the cake. Their lips twist upwards, a good sign, and they place the box between them and Bucky, a second fork appearing in their hand.

"Oh, thank you," Bucky smiles and takes it, not minding the freezing cold of Bucky's skin. "So, it's about Asgard or the Avengers," He asks.

"Kind of both, somehow… and, it's also the nightmares, as usual. But they're manageable," They lie. After years with them, Bucky knows when they lie. And, most important, he knows when to demand the truth and when not.

"Well, if you feel like it will help, you can come over for snuggles and emotional support." He suggests. Loki smiles and nods, staying silent as they focus on the cake. Can you blame them? They haven't eaten properly for days. But Bucky does give them a look when he realises how fast they devoured the dessert.

"Wait, did you ask for lactose free?" They ask, after making the box vanish. And Bucky forgot to ask.

"Shouldn't you also ask before you eat the whole thing?" He also asks, his worry about how much Loki's small intestine shall suffer tonight growing.

"So, we are both idiots," Loki comes to a conclusion, finding Bucky agreeing.

"Basically, yes… and, I think I should suffer with you tonight, right?" He asks.

"Definitely, just lay near the wall, you don't want to be between me and the toilet," They respond, freeing the space of the bed they meant. Bucky got his metal hand out, he doesn't like sleeping with it on, and lay where he was instructed to, Loki laying beside him.

#marvellousaces #maholidaybingo2020 #marvel fanfiction #marvel fanfic #Bucky and Loki #Aromatic Bucky #asexual loki #genderfuid Loki #he/they Loki #roomates #but actually not #platonic #marvel fluff #marvel angst

[limenysnocket]

I Despise The Way You Make Me Love You

Summary: If you piss off your friends and they don't forgive you, can they really be called your friends? Now, what happens when your closest friend pisses you off and makes you fall deeper in love with him each time he does?

Warnings: Smut, language, lots of sexual innuendos

Word count: 3,483

Request: @honorarytenenbaum

Authors note: You have no idea how excited I am to fufil my first request. If any of y'all have any more, drop it in my asks for anonymity, DM me to give me more details, or whatever the heck. I want your requests. Give them to me.

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What's a fantastic morning without the first cup of coffee that you're almost positively sure has been pumped full of laxatives and stress relief pills?

Well, it's not the morning you had planned, and it wasn't the coffee you wanted. You were at work, on your day off. Who dragged you here? Mr. Hollywood hot shot himself, Taika Waititi that absolute jackass. He came to your door at 6 a.m., invited himself inside, crashed into your bedroom, made you and partially helped you get dressed, and threw you into his car, taking you God knows where.

You were on the set of The Mandalorian where they were in the process of filming season two. You had a very cold cup of coffee in your hand and you were about to take a nice sip to hopefully get you sick enough to send you to the hospital for the day, but the cup was snatched away quickly before anything could happen. "I'll drink anything you give me, but I absolutely will not drink that, and I'm putting my ass on the line to make sure you don't drink it either," Taika said, dropping the cup in a nearby trashcan.

"Fuck you, Waititi," you growled, pinching the bridge of your nose. "Love you too, doll," Taika made a kissy face and put his hand on your lower back to guide you deeper into the film set. You swatted his hand away like it was a pesky mosquito.

"Why the hell did you bring me here?" You whisper shouted between your teeth as both of you swerved through staff. "You don't have to work or anything. I just miss you each time you take off on us," Taika pouted. Whatever, missed you my ass. He just wanted you there so you could cover for him every time he took a nap on the job.

"Taika!" You spun towards him, your hands in the air and nails out like an animal, you wanted to maul his God damn, terribly handsome face. "I was going to close my blinds, lock my doors, eat frozen pizzas, binge Superstore and wear sweatpants and a comfortable bra, God damn it! It's my fucking day off, can you take a break for, I don't know, one fucking minute!?" You looked spastic and quite angry. Even a few people stopped and stared for a few seconds. Taika wasn't phased, however. All he gave you was a shrug. "Sounds like a fun afternoon, you should invite me sometime."

Both of you were quiet, and you felt your skin bubbling. You flipped your shit. "I'm going home, alright! I'm calling myself an uber, and you better fucking not call me or come break down my door again, Waititi! I'm not doing this again!" You huffed, twirled around and went straight for the exit. This time, it managed to get the desperate Kiwi's attention.

"(Y/N), now hang on a minute, I can take you out to lunch if you stay!" He called out desperately. "Frozen Italian food sounds so much better, thank you," you snorted and shook your head. You could hear his heavy footsteps behind you, trying to catch up to you.

You couldn't bear to stand another minute with that man, so you pushed out of the small exit, just barely brushing shoulders with David as you went. As the door closed, you heard him say your name and question what you were doing here, but that stopped mid-sentence whenever he probably saw Taika riding your tail.

You yanked your phone from your pocket and started clicking onto the uber app, but your phone was snatched away as you reached the parking lot. "Give me one chance, (Y/N)! I promise to make it worth your while!" He said, trying to talk his offer up for a lunch date. "What is with you and grabbing my things, Waititi?" You growl, snapping your hand out to grab your phone back, only to have it be yanked away again.

"Call me Taika," He said, that dastardly smile still spread across his features. "I'll call you Taika whenever you've earned my actual respect and you can call me (L/N) until then, too!" You grabbed at your phone again. No dice. This was very unfair. He had quiet a few inches on you. "You heffer! Give me that back now!"

"You seem stressed. How long has it been since you've had sex?" Taika struck you with a question that covered your cheeks with a deep blush. "None of your business! Hand it over, Waititi!"

"Taika--," he corrected you without hesitation, "Tell me how long it's been and I'll give you your phone back."

You took a deep breath and folded your arms, you hated to admit such personal things, especially to the likes of him. "Three months," you let out an exasperated sigh. Taika put his hand to his chest in shock. "Really? A classy gal like you, I'd think, would be having sex at least once or twice a week! That's not even the maximum!"

You scoffed, "Stop talking it up, Waititi, it's never gonna work." You grabbed your phone from him and brushed past him, bumping shoulders a bit aggressively. He rolled his eyes and continued to follow you out further into the parking lot, carefully dodging heavy equipment that rolled by. "(Y/N), wait up! C'mon, please?" He frowned and got in front of you again. You were one click away from getting an uber.

Your jaw shifted from side to side in thought. He pissed you off today multiple times already, but you would kill to spend an afternoon alone with him. You knew, whenever he wasn't under the influence of his multiple companions, he was an extremely nice guy. I mean, he was whenever his friends were around sure. Maybe it was just your need for his undivided attention that drove you crazy over him.

You sighed, "Where the hell would you be taking me when all I'm wearing is jeans and a t-shirt? Don't you have this sort of reputation to uphold?" He was shining brightly now, the grin on his face couldn't be any wider. "Oh, darling, I would trash it all to be with you," he purred, "and, how does pizza sound?"

You cocked a brow, lips pinching together and your shoulders rolling. "Fine." He lit up brighter than a Christmas tree. "Amazing! How about we head back inside, we'll finish up this shoot, and after that, we'll see where the streets of LA take us~," he purred with a cocky wink that made you roll your eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, let's just hurry up," you sighed, speeding up your walk walk until you had your hand on the handle and had pulled open the door just by a smidge. To your surprise, the handle was yanked out of your hand as the door slammed shut in front of you. You looked up, a bit ticked off, but your inner self calmed when you saw Taika standing there, directly in front of you, blocking the door completely with his body and his eyes holding a provocative stare within them. "Three months, huh?" His voice was low and deep, just how you imagined it before bed quite a few times. "I can... You know... always take care of that for you~." He leaned down towards you, his face becoming dangerously close to yours.

"T-Taika, this isn't exactly the r-right place for that--," you stuttered then gasped softly as his lips brushed against yours. He was so close, you could smell the intoxicating scent of his cologne mixing with the soft smell of his fabric softener that wafted blissfully from his clothes. You started to lean in too, now, taking a large gulp as you did.

"Waititi, stop doing whatever the hell you're doing out there and move your fat ass away from the door!" You heard the executive producer yell from the other side of the door, before Taika was launched forward by the propelling force of the door behind him. His head jeered off to the side and all that was left in contact between you two was the rough clash of his shoulder hitting yours. He stumbled for a minute while you laughed a little, shaking your head. You slipped in, just before a rack full of heavy equipment got close to the door, and that's where you parted from the kiwi, a massive grin on your face.

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Okay, he woke you up and ruined your perfectly planned day, so you were pissed just a little bit. Now, he was keeping you longer than he should have, at work and now you were really pissed. Both of you were the very last ones in the studio and he still hasn't finished up yet. Your stomach growled, your fingers twitched and your anger was bubbling.

You were sitting on one of the sets, a main, small room that split off towards the back. It was dark, greasy, and sewer-like. It had grates everywhere that were decaying with painted on rust and fake laser holes dotted along the fake metal every once in awhile.

You sat on a convenient crate prop that was sturdy enough to withstand three people at the most. You were rubbing your temples, the overwhelming and heady stench of expensive perfume, spray paint and spray tanning solution only fueled your distress. That cocky little bastard! He knew you never wanted to be here in the first place, but here he is, keeping you locked up here by his own hand. You were two moments away from storming out, calling that uber, and forgetting about this whole catastrophe whenever there was the rapping of knuckles against tin. Your head shot up and you glared. It was Taika. You said nothing.

He seemed awkward at first, his head tilting to the side and an apologetic smile on his lips, "Well, on the brighter side, at least we won't have to worry about the lunch rush!" He laughed softly, trying to lighten the mood, but your angry aura seemed to snuff out every attempt like a candle in the wind. "Look, doll, you know I'm sorry about keeping you here! It was never my intention..." He tried to explain, his hand motions really getting to work until they paused all together, right in front of him, palms facing upwards and his fingers lightly curling in, out of stress or carpal tunnel from holding on to a keyboard mouse all day long.

"Then what was your intention, Taika? Huh!?" You shot up from your seat and just stood there, your body nearly shaking with rage. "You wake me up, you drag me out of my house, and you force me to come to work! I thought you were my colleague, not my God damn boss!" You were frustrated. You wanted an answer. His eyebrows were furrowed and he seemed to be focused on a different topic on a new level. For the first time ever, you saw him look at the floor, embarrassed.

"Answer me, Taika!" You shouted, the sound of your voice echoing along the walls. He seemed shaken up whenever he looked up. He was confused, like he hadn't even listened to you the entire time. "What?" He said a little breathily, his eyes desperately searching yours for any tiny morsel that you had the compassion to forgive him.

"What were your intentions with this whole fucking thing?" You repeated through your bared teeth. Things were intense now. Both of you just stared in complete silence while Taika contemplated his, apparently, very complex answer.

"Well?" You flinched your arm muscles up once, in a shrugging motion. His eyes were closed and he took a deep breath. Suddenly, he charged forward at you, in a fast walk, without a word, a serious expression on his face. It made you take a few steps back out of shock, and you were close to pulling out your emergency bottle of pepper spray whenever he grabbed both sides of your face with his rough hands and brought you close to him. "This," he whispered before smashing his lips on yours. Your eyes widened, your hands went to his clothes and started clawing harshly, almost begging for him to stop before you became too attached, but as the kiss went on, it became more passionate and your clawing slowed, your eyes fluttered closed and your hands went up, into his hair. Taika let the pure bliss of your acceptance sink into his memory for a few moments longer before he pulled away, his hands dropping from your head and down to his sides.

He took a few steps back, wiping the drool off of his lips with the sleeve of his shirt. "That," he muttered again, bobbing his head to truly acknowledge what he had done. "My intention was to make that happen."

You were stunned, eyes wide when they flew back open and fluttered wildly. Your hands didn't know what to do with themselves anymore, now that they weren't buried in Taika's soft locks, so they went into yours, gripping on tightly and slightly pulsing the tug. Your lips craved more, your heart thrummed madly in your chest, so hard, you thought that it was beating, like a drum, up against your ribcage.

"Taika," you manage to whisper, catching his attention, you could tell, as he looked up at you again. "Yeah?" He muttered back.

You couldn't take it anymore. Your lips needed to connect with his again, you needed to touch him once more, to feel him in any way. You just knew you wanted him. You wanted him bad. You walked right up to him, curled your fingers back into his hair and brought his lips back down on yours, desperate and needy, unlike the last kiss the two of you shared. He kissed you right back, his hands having enough consciousness to slick right down and grip onto your waist.

It was unexpected, it was needed, your friends bet it was going to happen, it was... it was.... hot.

The kiss went on much longer than the last one, and eventually got more heated as well. His tongue slid across your bottom lip and there was no hesitation to open up for him. It was like opening the pearly gates of heaven, in his eyes. He gave your lip a cheeky little nip with his teeth anyway, making you whine softly, before tangling his tongue up with yours, almost like tying a cherry stem into a knot between the two of you.

He started pushing you back. You stumbled a bit, but you got the hint and started walking backwards. His body eagerly followed yours, not willing to break the kiss unless it was for a brief moment of air. Your back was eventually pushed up against one of the orange tinted walls and that wasn't the only thing being pushed up. Your shirt was carrying a steady pace up your abdomen and getting closer to exposing your chest. You were impatient, so you suddenly broke the kiss, leaving Taika momentarily distraught, and lifted your shirt completely off so you could toss it away like trash. Taika was smirking now and continued to kiss you, this time, more hunger was induced into it.

The next time you two broke contact, it was Taika's doings. You didn't have time to really react before you were no longer facing Taika, but the grated wall, and your breasts were pushed up tightly against it as well. Little words were spoken between you two, and it was easy to tell what position he wanted you in, so you stuck your ass out there a little more. You could practically feel his smirk getting wider. He reached around your waist and found the button to your pants. While one hand focused on getting that down and away, the other worked on getting your bra unclipped. It was easy with his skilled fingers. Once your bra was gone, so we're your pants. They dropped to be around your ankles and you hastily kicked them off, as well with your shoes.

A single one of his digits hooked around the hem of your panties and started bringing them down your thighs. His eyes could practically bore holes into your body with how intensely he stared with the newfound flesh.

Your body tingled with the sound of his belt unbuckling and hitting the floor, even more so when his pants were unzipped and dropped around his ankles, well, after he had rustled his wallet from his back pocket first and picked a condom out of it. You wanted him to completely undress, like you, but you weren't in the mood to complain. If anything, this round was possibly doomed to be a quickie anyway.

His boxers were the last item to hit the floor, then it was all over. His stiff member, once the rubber condom had been swiftly applied, prodded at your soaked walls before making its quick and long past due entrance. It nearly made you scream, but before any of that could happen, Taika had one hand slapped firmly across your mouth and the other one grabbed a fist-full of one's of your boobs.

Here's the thing that Taika had completely forgotten to mention whenever this whole fiasco started. He wasn't completely sure that you both were alone in the studio. With his explanation being whispered hotly into your ear with his sensual kiwi accent, you didn't seem to care. If anything, the higher risk of being caught only made the sexual intensity even more intense. So, you were going to be fucked like that, quietly, dirtily, and somewhat publicly. He had this power of domination over you... and you loved it.

He started thrusting, slow and hard. Each time his hips would connect with your ass, your stomach would lightly slam against the grate in front of you and made it wobble out a sound that could possibly notify anyone around you about where you were. Okay, maybe the two of you were that fed up about being discrete with your actions. You both just knew that you needed this and no one was going to tell you otherwise.

He let out soft grunts and pants of your name, occasionally burying his face into your shoulder whenever he started going faster, so he wouldn't get too loud while he pummeled you mercilessly. You could feel him nipping at your skin, whenever you weren't so focused on the feeling of his stiff cock rubbing along your walls. He bit you, sucked on your neck and shoulders, covering you with his love. Well, his claim of you and your body, at least.

The rocking of his hips started getting more rough, irrational and sporadic. He was close and so were you, but he was determined to hold on until you had released all over him. Your hands held on to the grate for dear life, and it rolled along with your movements, shaking when your body pushed forcefully against it by Taika's will, and it wobbled back whenever you lurched backwards to prepare for the next world rocking thrust. This was so much better than sweatpants and The Office episodes.

It didn't take you long before you jumped over the edge and your vision blurred white. He had done it, he had given you one of the worst/best days of your life and you didn't want it to be over, but everything comes to an end eventually, even Taika himself. His thrusts slowed and he gave three, stout, powerful ruts against your ass before he released and his body pushed against yours. His hand fell from your mouth so he could hear your pants and praises that he had been missing out on the entire time the two of you went at it like mad dogs. He pulled out and almost immediately pulled off the gross condom.

You busied yourself with picking up your clothes and quietly putting them on while Taika disposed of the used rubber and pulled up his pants from around his ankles. Both of your faces were red and the lust still sparkled dimly within his and your eyes.

You both met in the middle of the room, once the two of you were collected and ready to leave like nothing had happened in that room you were standing in.

"So, am I invited to come over and crash your days off any time I like, now?" Taika cocked a brow and broke the comfortable silence with a grin and a chuckle. You laughed with him, leaning up and wrapping your arms around his neck.

"You know what?" You said, tilting your head and having a cheeky smile write itself all over your lips, "I'd love that... same time, tomorrow?"

#what we do in the shadows #taika waititi #fanfiction #fanfics #Aaaah I can't help myself #Hunt for the Wilderpeople #Viago #Korg #Jojo Rabbit #taika waititi x reader #Taika Waititi X Reader #Thor: Ragnarok #Directors #Cinematic poetry

[hearteyes-for-killmonger]

Part 17: Interruption

Ahead, there's the tall engraved wall standing alone with the words Reunion Tower as big as your head. The words are also large on the building which has metallic accents, glass windows, glass walls, and glass doors. It's somewhat reminiscent of Erik's hidden house back in Cali now that you think of it.. if it were dropped in the middle of the city and a tower were placed on top. Take away the fields of green grass and the towering trees. Maybe that's why you seemed so much more excited than he did. He was aready used to it.

Inside, the lights pop even brighter than before. There's the fat, round silver-colored column with diamond cutouts and it glows neon blue on one side, purple on another, and orange on the other. The pink neon light flowing from the ceiling bleeds into the purple lights while the adjacent white ceiling lights bleed into the blue. On top of that, there's lime green to your right. It's a panorama of color.

"Look at you, easily impressed. Smile big my nigga." When you turn, he's got his phone in the air. Again. "Stand by that column over there. That light on your skin finna look cool as shit... Aight tilt your chin down and turn three centimeters to the left. That's four, come back one. Perfect."

"Stupid. Let me see." Looking over his shoulder, you watch as he flips through the photos. "Send me the ones from before too, I wanna send them to Ava and Toni. They said show them how the dresses look."

"Sending them now."

Group by group the pictures arrive in your text thread and you save them making a note to self to send them when you reach the hotel. You'd do it now, but you're ready to go. Now that you got the photos from him, you can send them whenever you want. For now, it's time to go eat because the last thing you ate was a snack and before that you'd only eaten once. Erik's inner fatboy has reared his head a couple times since then.. though in this moment, he's calm.

"Feed me Seymour," you yell beating him to it. You pull on the arms of his slim fitting navy pinstripe suit. He's dressed smartly with his black shirt, silver jewelry, and black oxfords. Of course he had to be like you with the black to match, you hadn't missed the gesture either time.

"I'm trying." He pulls you in the direction of the hot pink lights and you take your hand back to store the phone away in your clutch before following free from his hold. The elevator this time takes you to a floor with a red, tan, and black theme. There're red flower arrangements conveniently placed and even a red lit fountain with coins at the bottom of the shallow clear water representing the wishes of passersby. Digging in your clutch, you have a few coins from the change you got on the first day in Houston when you'd bought the both of you that food. Tossing the penny, you close your eyes and wish for a raise on your job. You already have a list of upgrades to your apartment you'd make. The showerhead. A new comforter. A security camera perhaps. Maybe another lock for the door.

Erik leads you into Five Sixty, a restaurant by Wolfgang Puck, and you look around briefly at the other people sitting and eating primly at their tables, the clang of silverware mingling with the chatter. A waiter in black and white passes in front of you drawing your attention to the magnificent view through the floor to ceiling glass windows lining the walls ahead. There's the cityscape and bright lights against a dark sky. It's the same view as before but it's even better because everything is amplified against the night.

"Wait, we sitting back here?" You look between Erik and the concealed booth he stands beside in a way that communicates your discontent. You didn't get all dressed up and fine to haul your cookies to this tower and hide in the back! "This is a new dress," you lean forward to whisper with a threat in your tone. You don't care that the waiter is there averting his eyes uncomfortably. "I didn't put this on to not be seen... They gone see me.. THIS.. tonight!" You smooth the thigh-length black lace dress with sheer lace sleeves and lace cutouts in the bodice that's hugging you just right. It's the same dress that made him go gaga and now he wants to deprive others of the vision? Oh no. On your feet are the strappy black heels and you use them to turn around looking for another empty table.

"Ay, come here! You are beautiful, that's true... You fine. Still, this is more private than sitting in the middle of the restaurant. I just wanted us to have some space.. to talk." Right, 'talk'.. that's code for hanky panky. You literally just did that. Aren't you tired? "Thanks," he eyes the waiter slapping his hand and you wonder how much money he slipped into it as the guy walks away. Erik gestures to the booth for you to slide in. It's concealed by a little wall and faces the window while he sits across from you facing the restaurant that's hidden from you. It's like being in a private room. There's even a fresh red floral arrangement on the table along with lit white candles, none of which were on the other tables. This.. This was thought out ahead of time. When did he call?

"I.. guess.. it's not.. so bad," you shrug watching the subtle tension in his shoulders drop. He's relieved and you can tell by the ghost of a smirk on his lips.. light dancing in his eyes. "Plus these flowers are beautiful," you add watching him tilt his face away modestly. Watching him shift his attention to the menu, you do the same.

"Get what you want. Whatever you don't eat, just take it out."

"I know the drill." He doesn't have to tell you, you already know the routine at this point. He won't be happy until you spend a couple hundred. He's got so much money it's burning a hole in his pocket. You could think of better ways to spend it.

Still. Being pampered is not a bad thing every once in a while. It's not like you get this type of sugar daddy treatment often.

"What are we having," the waiter asks on his return looking to Erik and then you. He reveals a bottle of wine with Gaja Ca Marcanda written on the label, pouring two glasses.

"Thank God it's not Hennessy," you think aloud watching Erik's brows knit in humor.

"I should've got you some Hennessy. That's right.... Y'all niggas got Hennessy?" The waiter shakes his head and you cringe.

"Erik, stop. Don't nobody like the taste of gasoline but you." You decide to just start pointing to whatever you think is good. "Tamarind glazed baby back ribs, pork belly pot stickers, szechuan Beef Filet Au Poivre, and the tempura shrimp and crab roll."

"I'll take the roasted free range half chicken and pot stickers sound good. I'll take those too." Erik hands over his menu and you glare at him as you fork your menu over but he's not looking. He would order less than you. Doesn't matter anyway.. you'll still crush that food when it comes. "You up for another round of tame that anxiety? If so, I have something I want you to do."

"Boy I'm drinking my wine, I'm not messing with you." You take a sip and set your glass back down ignoring him as he leans forward trying to catch your eye. "Mm-mm, nope.... Move," you swipe deterring his hand from trying to touch yours. None of that smooth shit.

"I'm right here what's gone happen? Besides, you know I know how to calm you down."

Heads Will Roll plays loudly over the theme park speakers as you speedwalk away hoping no one will recognize you or point you out to their friends and family as the running joke while you search for a ride that's BBW friendly and NOT the Skycoaster.

"Erik, move... Come on stop," you push at him when he stands in your way like it's a joke.

"Why you running? Ain't like you getting shot at. Ain't no one after you, look." He kisses his teeth as you pass him. "You so embarrassed.. You won't see any of these people again."

"Yeah well anxiety doesn't necessarily run on common sense." You grab your flip flops from his hand and slip them on. He'd had you walking around barefoot like a Flinstone because he'd been too slow to catch up. He didn't get it.

"Obviously.... Come this way," he nods walking left. He turns walking backwards as you peek around him to see the bathrooms in that direction. That's an idea you can get behind, a quick bathroom break to escape the faces of the crowd until you could return to rational thinking. Too bad it smells like eight tons of gorilla ass.

"This is the women's restroom," you freeze, blocking Erik's path inside. Man it stinks. You can't stay in there. His face twists getting a whiff and he backs off quickly holding the back of his hand to his nose, pulling you with him. So much for escaping into the bathroom. Suddenly he pulls you into a cut and you speedily look around for anyone who could be seeing the two of you. It doesn't seem that anyone's paying attention. You could've sworn someone would've been looking. There's a small space behind the bathrooms just wide enough for one and a half of one of you to fit through at a time. You're pushed in first and Erik towers behind you. It seems private like no one would or should be back here, a theme park blind spot. Suddenly you have the urge to bring this to the park owners' attention. They need security cameras too.

"I feel like someone's gotten molested back here.. or something dark and unsavory," you whisper.

"Anyway." His thick arm snakes around your waist while the other cradles your head against his solid chest, his fingers massaging your scalp through your afro. Clinging to his body, you let your shoulders drop. "Relax and when I say breathe I want you to inhale deeply through your nose for a count of four then exhale slowly through through your mouth for a count of five. The goal is to breathe deeply to your abdomen. Okay?

Now breathe.

In, 2, 3, 4... Out, 2, 3, 4, 5.

Again. In, 2, 3, 4... and out, 2, 3, 4, 5.

How do you feel," he whispers and you close your eyes, your ear against his chest listening to his even heartbeat and naturally husky voice.

"I understand anxiety, Y/N... the navy will definitely do it to you. But it's unhealthy stress that takes a toll on your mind and body and that means.. health is relaxing both."

Your eyes pop open looking at the wall beside you when the hand on the back of your head lowers drops moving to your thigh and crawling under your red kimono and up into your panties. He's got a surprise coming. His finger slides slowly along your outer lips slipping between.

"Always wet," he whispers before his thick finger sinks into you and on your sharp intake of air he tells you to breathe.

"In.. 2, 3, 4," he counts as your chest continues to rise. The slick feeling of his finger rotating and pressing inside of you is all you want to focus on. "Out, 2, 3, 4, 5," he directs and you feel a second finger push in, stretching slowly and gently finding its place.

"Did I say moan?" The arm around your waist goes ghost and you feel a firm smack on your butt.

"Did I SAY moan," he repeats, his fingers still working skillfully.

"No," you moan, your voice unexpectedly meek. Another firm smack comes and then another. And another, his low chuckle so subtle it's like you've imagined it.

"You still moaning. And you breathing hard. Did I tell you to do that?" Another smack comes and you're close.

"No, Daddy," you whine. His grip comes on your asscheek tightly.

"Then why I still hear you? We controlling our breathing right now.. Aht," he brushes your hand from his half-mast bulge. You had a theory he wouldn't be so calm and quiet if the tables were flipped. "I remember when you were scared to moan now I can't stop you," he muses.

"I wasn't scared."

"Yeah you were but I made you feel good didn't I? You still came. Breathe in, 2, 3, 4.. Out, 2, nope start over. You still breathing hard."

It's his motions. His thick curled fingers plus the addition of his thumb rubbing your clit is making your breathing ragged.

"Control it this time. In, 2, 3, 4.. Out.."

You gasp. The feeling is building in your stomach and you keep inhaling in the middle of the exhale.

"I'm coming," you whisper seconds away from erupting on his fingers.

"Not if you don't breathe. Do it right and you can cum."

You whine quietly unsure if you can control it.

"You can do it, angel. Breath deeply in, 2, 3, 4. Steady through your mouth, 2, 3, 4. Good girl, cum on my fingers. Go 'head cum."

You already have and for a second you get chills, trembling, but it subsides. He releases you and your dress falls back down as you look up at him, relaxed.

"You ready to go back out?"

Erik smirks across the table having successfully triggered your memory and you send him a glare that this time he can clearly see.

"Aight so what you gotta do is go to the middle of the floor next to that table with the bl--"

Bl--? Blonde? Blowfish? Black? What is he staring at? You start to look back too but he grabs your hand shaking his head in a way that shushes you and brings more questions.

"Get down," he mouths soundlessly scooting closer to the wall and lowering his head and then you hear it. A loud bang followed by a scream, the slam of dishes, and the scoot of chairs. Frantically, you search Erik's face for clues of what's happening and his dark eyes are trained on the scene behind you as he holds his head in a particular way so not to be seen. He points to you and the table and you don't waste time getting under it. There's only enough room for one person, but now you're at an angle to see him pull a small gun from inside of his blazer. There was a pocket for it in the lining. You see him cock the gun and then it rests in his hand in wait, pointed away from you. How did he get that through airport security though?! What the hell is going on? It doesn't make sense and a thousand thoughts rush you at once.

The screaming continues but you only counted three shots through all of the chaos and noise as people scurry to escape and evacuate.

Should the two of you be running? Aren't you sitting ducks? How did Erik even bring that gun? Or did he pick it up when he got to Houston? Was that why he left you at the hotel alone? Why did he think he'd it? Does he always have a gun just on him for no reason? Was he anticipating something like this? Is he just paranoid and then something actually happened to cement the paranoia like with you in college? Should you be concerned? Who the hell is shooting in a restaurant?! Guess it wouldn't be Texas without guns. Will you really be safe here? Will Erik? It feels like forever under the table as you're cramped and folded and you have severe goosebumps, your heart pumping fast, every sound an alert. You're suddenly reminded of your phone and you pray no one calls it. The crowd seems to be gone but there's still noise. Small sounds. Shuffling, footsteps, low grunts, and zips. It's only after you don't hear anything for about five seconds that you notice Erik's foot move.

Instantly, you grab it bending your head and putting a crook in your neck to look up at him through the gap between him and the table. You shake your head when you catch his eye.

"Don't you dare," you mouth. You can feel he's about to dash off to play hero and get himself killed so you hold his leg more tightly. Just because he has military experience doesn't make it his job to confront a shooter. You refuse to let him go even when he mouths the words 'let go'. With a grip on his leg, you listen as the low sounds of footsteps retreating finally stop. Erik who has the visual doesn't look away from where his eyes have been fixed until almost a minute has passed. This time when he moves, you let him go and he walks away toward the main dining area, looking around you assume before bursting into the kitchen. "They gone," he says. You have to strain to hear but then there're two more voices. When you peak out, there's Erik with two employees who look nervous. You grab your clutch and climb from under the table on your way to stand behind Erik.

"Are you guys okay," the southern woman asks looking around as if the shooters might return. The guy with her seems too shaken to speak outside of echoing the woman here and there. "I-I called the police they should be here any minute if you all wanna wait. There's coffee back here.. tea.." She looks past Erik to the floor and when you look and see the blood smeared there, you both look away from it simultaneously. "I just don't understand," she sighs looking genuinely perplexed. "Why bring that street beef or whatever it is in here? There are families that come here." She looks disgusted and Erik looks like he's really trying to get out of here.

"We're gonna take off. We were just hiding out waiting for the shooters to leave. Safe to say the night's been ruined," Erik replies grabbing your hand and guiding you to the door. The two of you decide to take the steps, that way you have more control in case anything happens. Luckily, you don't run into anyone. "Order the car to take us back to the hotel," he says before you leave the staircase. "Let's be safe and wait here just in case."

As the uber pulls off, you see the police rolling up but you guys are already on the road.

"You aight," he asks looking to you and when you think about it, you're safe and nothing happened to you thankfully. However... he made you worry! What was going through his mind to want to confront murderers?

"Erik, what were you thinking? You were really gonna play hero? Do you realize if I hadn't stopped you from jumping out there, you could be dead? Have you even considered what that would do to me?"

"I know I must've scared you. I'm sorry for that. You absolutely right, you saved me from making a big mistake tonight and I appreciate you for that."

---

He'd seen the entire scene play out from beginning to end and was gauging the ideal time to step in and shoot the colonizing muhfukas who'd ruined the goddamn evening. He knew this hadn't been a regular shooting. Nah, this was a hit and going by the appearance of the body they'd taken.. young black man, short locs, muscular build.. He had a feeling they'd taken out the wrong guy. It was only a matter of time before they realized and he had to act before then. If only he could've followed them, he'd be lit but he couldn't abandon Y/N.

Still, she was right. If she hadn't stopped him from stepping out, he'd have killed both colonizers and there would've been three bodies. She'd have then viewed him as a killer and outside of being scarred for life, she'd have left his lying ass forever and rightfully so. If she hadn't been there at all, he'd of popped the two employees as well leaving five bodies since they'd of seen him shoot the other two. Her presence was saving lives and ain't nobody know it.

Now that he had the element of surprise and a lead, it was the perfect time to strike but he couldn't fuck it up this time. Again, his pride was on the line and now that Y/N had almost gotten involved in the bullshit, it was definitely time to get her outta there asap.

"Whoever on security tonight, they ass definitely getting fired," he deadpanned in an attempt to lighten the mood. She wasn't having it.

"Don't ever scare me like that again. You're not the police and you're not the terminator," she stated so firmly he knew not to fuck with it. He just nodded.

"You absolutely right." The rest of the ride to the hotel was relatively quiet with her laying on his chest, his fingers in her hair, massaging her scalp to calm her down. Walking through the lobby to the elevator was just as quiet until he broke the silence with a thought that'd been running though his mind since she'd scolded him. "You'd think you'd be the one to lose your composure, but it was me," he mused. "I ain't see that coming."

"I think I'm rubbing off on you," she chuckled wryly. He wanted to combat that thought, but when he really thought about it... she was. Ever since he'd gotten involved with her, he'd been crazier than usual, more prone to rookie mistakes, more emotion-driven instead of logic-driven. He barely recognized himself. This wasn't something that should happen at this juncture of his career or mission. He was fuckin up and if he continued to fuck up he wouldn't be the only one paying the price.

When they arrived in the room, he asked her to head back downstairs and buy them both food handing her a one hundred dollar bill and packing her bags in her absence. He figured take-out would be a bit of a wait time since it was dinner hours and he was right. By the time she got back, her return flight time had been changed and her bags were against the wall near the closet. She sat the plastic bag of plastic containers on the table and unpacked the items, dividing them up by which item belonged to who. She'd even brought bottled drinks. Pulling the utensils from the bag, she placed them on top of a container that held a bigass steak. He took it gently from her hand setting it on the bed next to him.

"I just got what I thought you might want," she shrugged unwrapping a straw to put in one of the drinks, handing it to him. That was when she happened to look left and see her bags packed on the wall. He stared at the bags, looking for his and not finding it before looking back to him, realization dawning on her. "We're going back tomorrow?" She was trying to keep the emotion from her voice but it had already flashed in her eyes.

"You're going back tomorrow," he clarified knowing full well she got it the first time. "But I'll follow you in a few days or so don't worry." Instant relief in her eyes, but then they got suspicious and he had to brace himself to dodge any verbal traps she'd try to set.

"I thought you were done with the responsibilities you came here for with your job. What did they even want you to do? You've been with me almost the whole time."

"It's been two days... I didn't have to report anywhere today so I dedicated it to us, but there are a couple of events I want to attend before I leave and it would be a waste if I didn't. You, however, have no more reason to be here and it seems to be getting dangerous in these streets. I want you back home for now."

"Dangerous? That was one coincident that had nothing to do with us. It's just as dangerous in Cali."

Somehow I doubt that.

"Naaah... Baby, I'd feel much better if you weren't in Houston after what I saw today. That's final. Flight's changed to 2 AM so after you eat you got a few hours to sleep and change.. bags are already packed. Go straight to my place when you get back and just wait for me. Use the car, pool, I don't give a fuck, but don't go to your apartment. I still need to check it out before you do."

"Okay, I know I'm paranoid... But you are PARANOID. Seriously? You're not coming?" She wasn't satisfied. She wanted her way, but he couldn't give it to her. "If Houston is as dangerous as you say it is then your well being is more important than some little event wouldn't you say so? So change your ticket too or we both staying here because I'm calling bullshit! What else is here? You already told me about your subs, what you got to hide?! What could possibly be keeping you here that you don't want me to see?! It gotta be wild since I've already seen you FUCK ANOTHER GIRL. WHAT IS IT ERIK?! WHAT ARE YOU HIDING?"

He stared at her like she'd lost her damn mind and he was trying to figure out when she'd find it. She stared back before returning to the food on the table. When she turned back, she was calm.

"My bad. I just don't get why I gotta go," she shrugged. He blinked a few times at her quick change in demeanor and she sighed heavily.

"It's okay... You've been through a lot of emotions today..."

"Yeah but I shouldn't blow up on you. That's a YOU move. It's not like it's your fault, you just want me to be safe... I get it. I just think you should worry about yourself too."

"...I feel you," he nodded. He had to borrow a page from handling Shay and Jaliyah. "And I appreciate your concern, but Y/N you getting ya ass on that plane and that's an order."

"Yeah, yeah," she muttered grabbing her container and plasticware. She sat in the chair at the table to eat and he stood to plant a kiss on her cheek before returning to the bed. He opened his own container and used the tall plastic straw sticking from the bottled lemonade to take a drink. She was too sweet for him to keep being so damn selfish. She definitely had to go.. for now.

---

A night flight alone to Cali. All there is to do, is sleep on the plane.

Erik had carried your things to the point where the two of you had to split, then he'd handed them over to you and nodded you on. It was all very quick and you were sleepy having gotten to the airport early just in case.

The sight through the window is black and there are lights on the ground but you don't really feel like looking, you're ready to close your eyes.

The little vacation with Erik was fun and so was seeing a completely different side of him, but now it was time to get back home. Well, his home...

Wait, he'd said. For the time being, you'll have to. The question to you now however, is for who? Who knows which Erik he'll be by the time he gets back. You can never tell with him. It's because he has more moods than a mood ring. More faces than Mr. Potato Head. For all you know, he could come back with a whole other woman expecting you to be cool with it. You just don't know what you'll get with him. Wait..

"Damn." You forgot to send the pictures of you and Erik to Ava and Toni. You didn't even get to see them again before you left. Kissing your teeth, you sigh and close your eyes again. You'll do it when you get to Erik's. Suddenly your eyes pop open and a smile spreads across your lips. You have his giant beautiful home all to yourself. You can use his things, smoke his weed, jump on his bed, wear his clothes, spray his cologne, eat his food, and explore as much as you want and he can't say a thing... Yes!

This might actually be the true vacation.

@muse-of-mbaku @imaginewhoever @goddessofthundathighs @panthergoddessbast @thadelightfulone @misspooh @marvelmaree @youreadthatright @forbeautyandlife @theunsweetenedtruth @bidibidibombaclaat @myboyfriendgiriboy @dameshaemonique @blackpantherimagine   @vikkidc @hidden-treasures21 @mysidefanting @hold-me-like-a-heart-beat @syndrlla97 @winteroflife @thotyana-in-this-hoe   @texasbama @gingerylimonte @princessstevens   @magic-madness-heavensin @wawakanda-btch @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade @wakanda-inspired @blackgirloneshots @thegucciwaffle @thiccdaddy-mbaku @drsunshine97 @purplehairgawdess @trevantesbrat @indigoxsummers @cccccx1   @dynastylnoire @iamrheaspeaks @blowmymbackout @fonville-designs @they-call-me-le @theblulife @raysunshine78 @sheisexcellent @blackpinup22

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[frenchlangdon]

Late Night Louisiana Pt. 7

Summary: It’s late 19th century, Y/N moves to Louisiana to learn more about vampires. But what happens when she finds one likely creature of the night at Porterhollow Cemetery?

LNL Masterlist

Pairing: Vampire!bucky x reader

Warning: brief mention of rape

"About earlier. That kiss. I'm not trying to start anything. I'm— there's— I'm no good at relationships. It would only end up in a mess." I said. I sat down on the chair in my kitchen

It's true, I've had a couple of men along the way, the relationships almost always end in disaster.

And I don't know if it was me or them. It always felt like it was my fault, they were always sure to tell me it was my fault.

"What are you feeling?" He sat down in one of the chairs next to me.

"Confused."

"About what?"

"I really like you. And I want to know more about you. And I want to be your friend, I really do. But I can't be harboring feelings for you. And you can't do the same either. It would just make us miserable."

"So you're saying that you feel the same way, you just don't want to be with me? Is it because of what I am? Is it because I scare you?"

"You are the most kind and gentle man I've ever met. You don't scare me, not one bit. I just think we'd be better off as friends."

"I can't just make them go away. The feelings, I mean. It's not like I can just make them vanish. But if you wish to just be friends, then we shall just be friends."

"We've only known each other for two days, you know." I chuckled, I stare into his eyes.

"You should know I don’t like everybody I meet. I don’t trust just anybody. You’re different, I can sense it. I can connect with very few people and have this feeling like I've known them my whole life, you're one of those people. I feel drawn to you. You're magnificent and kind. And you're very beautiful."

"Will you protect me, Wreck?"

"Of course, Y/N."

"Will you always tell me the truth?"

"Always."

"Will you tell me your name? You’re real name?" He hesitated for a moment.

"You already know it. James. James Buchanan Barnes, but back then friends called me Bucky." A small smile crept up on his lips.

"I should've known! You said it so quickly, I thought you might've known someone with that name or your alias."

"Will you tell me some of the stories you've heard about me?"

"Well no ones knows much about you, the stories are very vague. Most of the towns whores say you've slept with them, took the bandana off when you did the deed, some said you had honey brown eyes and other says emerald green eyes. Said you kept coming back for more." I bit my lip as I tried to hold in laughter.

"That's odious!" He scrunched his face up and physically cringed. "No. I haven't laid with a woman in decades. It's crossed my mind many a nights, but, no. Never. I could never sleep with one of those women. Nothing against who they are, just wouldn't want to catch something."

My eyes widen at the last sentence and he laughed.

"Have you ever laid with a man before?"

My body stiffened at the question, he was blunt and straight to the point. But the question reminded me of something I tried to forget every single day. "Yeah. I have." I looked down to my hands that were resting on the table. I traced shapes on the smooth surface, trying to keep my mind from those formidable memories. "Did I upset you?" He asked. He leaned down trying to look at my face.

"No. Just, I've um, l-laid with one man, uh, it was a terrible experience." I look to the the ground where my feet were. "Did he..."

"Yeah. He did." I whispered. My whole body felt uneasy, saying the words out loud was torture for me.

I had gotten drunk one night and a man took me to his house, against my will. I woke up the next morning and didn’t know what had happened the night before and I was feeling incredibly sore.

As the months went by I remembered certain things, terrible, awful things.

"My darling, I'm sorry. We don't have to carry on with this conversation. I can't imagine how it's affected you." He lays his hand on top of my hand that rests on the table, causing me to flinch.

The only thing I can do is nod, and I barely manage to do that.

"You've shown me such kindness over the past two days. I appreciate that, I truly do. In return, if you would, I'd like to stay with you. To protect you, from the evil of this world. Only if you would allow it. If you wish for me to be gone, then I'll be gone within seconds. I can see a great friendship unfolding if you let me stay."

I stare at him in disbelief, "I'd love for you to stay, I do get lonely here by myself sometimes but wouldn't you get tired of me after awhile?" I chuckled. "I mean you'd get bored for sure, I'm not an interesting gal."

"That's not true. You're very interesting, you can read, not a lot of women around here can read, well back then at least. I don't know about now."

"Well I'm sure there are more women around here that can read. But enough about that! What would you like to do the rest of the day?"

Truth be told, I hate talking about myself or of any subject that involves me, call it an insecurity, but for me I just hate being the topic of discussion.

"Why don't we go back to the lake?" He said.

"Yeah sure! Do you want to go for a swim?"

"I don't have anything to swim in." His brows furrowed and his lips frowned. I can't lie, he looked really cute.

"I'll buy you something." I beamed.

"I can't let you do that." He argued.

I stood up from the chair and walked to the door.

"You need a new set of clothes anyways, you can't wear the same outfit you've worn for the past couple decades." I playfully winked at him. I walked out of the house, he followed behind me.

On the way to the shop, we talked a little bit about everything, the sea, the outlaws he stayed with for a bit. It's so easy talking to him. He doesn't make you feel inferior or anything close like that. Nowadays people are so egotistical if they have a silver spoon. It's truly disgusting.

We make it to the shop and Wanda greets us.

"Y/N! Good evening!" She flashed her beautiful smile. "And who might this be?" She asked.

"This is Bucky, a friend from Texas. He's come down here to live with me."

Bucky walks closer to Wanda and shakes her hand. "Pleasure to meet you, miss." She nodded, her smile widened. "Pleasure to meet you, too, Bucky."

I got a couple outfits for him, he was a very picky shopper, at the end we got him black trousers and a couple tan and white long sleeve shirts. Nothing too fancy, he said.

I packed the new clothes in my leather bag and bid Wanda goodbye, we made our way to the lake.

"Isn't it just beautiful?" I said, we sat down on the sand, I set the bag down in between us. "It is, I've missed the water." He let out a sigh and kept his eyes on the moving water. "Why didn't you ever come down here?"

"I did, every couple a years, I don't know why I stayed in the cemetery for so long. I felt like it was the safest place for me."

"Why is that?"

"Because the dead can't judge you."

"I'll never judge you, y’know." I grabbed his hand intertwining it with mine, I brought the back of his hand up to my lips, gently kissing it.

We sat in silence after that. It was a moment I'll never forget. The sun was setting, the remainder of the sun reflecting off the water, the muffled music from across the street inside the tavern, the sounds of nature.

"You know, this is my favorite time of the day. When everything is winding down. It's so peaceful, and the sun isn't too harsh, it's perfect. I call it late night Louisiana. Has a ring to it, don't it?"

"It sure does, sugar." His lips curved upwards into a smile. His smile. How have I never noticed how perfect it was? His eyes crinkle whenever he smiles. Why is his face so perfect? Maybe being with him wouldn't be such a bad idea...

"Do you want to become human again? Fully human, I mean. With no abilities."

"I'd give anything to be normal again. Anything." He withdrew his hand from mine and looked down to the sand. "Maybe we can visit the voodoo shop tomorrow, they have elixirs in there, we can see what they have. Nobody ever buys their potions and elixirs because of your story."

He shrugged and lifted his head back up to look at me. Sadness deep in his eyes, laced with longing. "What if none of them work?"

"Well, we'll find out once we get there, won't we?"

"I guess."

I hugged his torso, "Let's go to the tavern."

We both get up and dust the sand off of our bodies. I grabbed my bag and we were off to the tavern across the street.

Bucky and I go inside and he orders the both of us a beer. I catch Steve walking past the windows of the tavern. I jump off the bar stool and turn to Bucky, "I have to go outside real quick. I'll be right back." I run out of the tavern and holler for Steve.

He stopped in his tracks and turned around. I walk up to him. "Hey stranger. Did you buy that book, that Stark's Amazing Finds?"

"I did, why?" He raised a brow and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Well I was wanting to show Bucky what a walrus and a seal looked like. I was wondering maybe I could borrow it for a day." He scoffed and looked to the side, he kicked a rock with his boot.

"Why didn't you ever mention him to me?" Steve asked. "I guess I forgot to tell you about him."

"Y/N, we tell each other everything it at least that's what I thought. Why didn't you tell me he was moving in with you?"

"Steve, I just forgot. I'm sorry. Why do you care so much? It's not really a big deal."

"He said you were getting lonely livin all by yourself, why didn't you ask me to move in? I would‘ve."

He stepped closer. "I didn't think you'd want to live with me. You hate it when I talk about vampires. I can only imagine you getting frustrated with me everyday because I'm so focused on finding that damned vampire." I leaned against the outside brick wall of the tavern. I look up to Steve, he was up against the brick wall, staring at the water. The orange glow of the sun shone on his face, his blue eyes were even brighter, if possible.

"I would've learned to deal with it." He said, he turned his body towards me.

Nothing else was said. We were both staring into each other's eyes. He wanted to say something, I could feel it in my bones. “What is it?” I asked.

“I wanted to tell you something. It’s really important.” He started fidgeting, beads of sweat were on his forehead.

“Hey, you can tell me anything. You know that.” I smiled and intertwined our hands together. “Uh... Bruce is coming back into town.”

“Oh...” I let out a shaky breath, my heart was beating out my chest. It felt like somebody had knocked the wind outta me. “Do we know when he’s supposed to be here?”

“Sometime next week.”

“Next week?”

“Yeah, next week.”

“Is he— is he bringing...”

“Yeah. She’s coming too.”

#bucky x reader #bucky au #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes mini series #bucky barnes x reader #vampire!bucky x reader #bucky barnes fic #late night louisiana #vampire!au #vampire!bucky

[estrxlar]

The Ghost Of You

04 - Learning To Receive

These chapters songs:

Moonlight On The River; Mac Demarco

Nostalgic Feel; Bedroom

New Flesh; Current Joys

——

TW: Self-harm, death.

(Not done by you, don't worry)

——

- K.S. Perspective

      Only two or three days had passed since high school had started, which meant only a couple more walks home with Y/n. They were shorter and quiet, and of course, there weren't any swerving cars.

But so far, what I had suspected was correct. She and I made amends and became buddies, thankfully.

      The only times she was left alone were when I had morning practice, and she had to have one of her friends drive her home. Either that or she would have to walk home alone. I would've loved to accompany her, but volleyball was something I didn't take lightly, and my priorities were important to me.

      Both I and my younger brother participated in volleyball and gave it our all ever since we were able to balance on our feet. Sadly, our parents were far too busy to go to any games, or even help us practice at home. But their goal was for their kids to grow up strong and steady with good grades and good stats, so that's why they made sure my younger brother and I were on top of our shit.

      Once my first year ended, I didn't expect that I would have to carry so many burdens all in one year. That's around the time mother had died from sickness, which left me with doubts, wishes, and an unaccomplished relationship with her.

      After the sudden death, our family didn't move on very well. My brother developed anxiety and depression, and he eventually had to take a break from school and volleyball. Then, my father became dull and increased his hours at work to avoid coming home to such a depressing home, leaving my brother and me to continue caring for ourselves, by ourselves.

      I, on the other hand, had barely anything to say about it. All I could do was pose as if I were handling it better than I had. Truth is, my mother's death changed my entire persona. I grew grim and gummy, deprived myself of rest, and repressed the trauma I've received. Not only did I overwork myself because of volleyball and stress, but I also grieved in harmful ways. It'd either be a blade to the wrist, or a night with a girl; anything that could help distract me from my state of deep dejection.

      It's been that way ever since. Only recently have I realized that I'm ruining whatever recovery I built up. That was all because of my best friend— Daichi— who had helped me come out about my feelings towards my mom's passing. Ever since, I've been able to learn from my mistakes, and slowly pick my life back up. I was beginning to become a better player for my team, better support for my family, and a better person for myself.

      That only happened recently. So now, I'm left with lots of things to mend, and relationships to make. I'm determined that I'll mourn more healthily than before.

——

      "Y/n!" A hopeful call leaves my lips, turning her head. As assumed, it was Y/n. Today she looked even brighter than before; she just has gotten more sleep. Not to mention she wore long socks instead of leggings, which must have been pretty hard in this weather.

      I didn't get to see her this morning due to morning practice, but I did catch her before lunch. Just enough time to tell her I won't be riding the bus tonight either.

      I look both ways of the cross hallway, before grabbing my book bag strap with both hands and jogging towards Y/n. I wasn't sure why I was so eager to see her, but all I knew was I needed a refreshing moment, and she could give me exactly that.

      "Why hello, Mrs. Refreshing!" I joke, bowing my head towards her while she giggled. Looking up, she stands there, shining by the sunlight that reflected on the windows.

      'If I could, I'd take a photo of you right here, just to show you how gorgeous you are.' I quickly put a halter on my thoughts, snapping back to a respectful filter. 'No, I can't do that. Not to myself, most definitely not to Y/n.'

      "You look nice today!" I exclaim, awkwardly patting the side of my hips while smiling at her. Hopefully, I hadn't made her uncomfortable in the first ten seconds of talking to her. The last thing I wanted was to ruin yet another relationship with a girl.

      Thankfully, Y/n responded with kind appreciation to my comment. "Why thank you, sir. And what brings you in my presence?" Her words curl in a formal British accent, adding onto our joke.

      Standing normally, I explain, "Oh, nothing. I just wanted to say hi, and to tell you I might not be walking home with you today. I'm really sorry,  practice has been very necessary for our team. I-I hope you understand." I stutter on the last part, with a gentle tone to add on. Ditching Y/n for most of the week wasn't what I had planned at first, but what I had told her was 100% true. The first years, as well as the rest of us, we're in bad shape. With our spring tournament coming up, we had no time to waste.

      "Oh, that's alright. I understand. I was in volleyball too, after all. Although, I do wish you could still accompany me. It gets a little lonely.." She looks down for a minute while I contemplate my existence entirely. 'So it does bother her.' But she quickly caught onto my thoughts by my expression and came up with a solution. "If— if you'd like, I can simply stay near the gym until practice is over! That way I can see you and your boys in action, yeah?"

      Her fists pop up into the air, as a bright smile appeared on her face. If you didn't know Y/n personally, you would expect them to be cold stone and dull. But in reality, I find they're like everybody else, and have a bright side to them, just like the one that was being portrayed right now.

      Nodding with her statement, I reply hesitantly. "Hm, I'd have to ask the captain, but I'm sure he wouldn't mind—"

      "Oh, Daichi? We're buddies, he'll be alright." I'm dazed by what she'd said, pausing the motion of rubbing my neck. She and Daichi hang in completely different groups, though! 'How is it they know each other? They hang around two very different friend groups.. that is unless they have some type of history I'm unaware about.' I think to myself, trying my best to find a reason they would be friends, but I couldn't. And so, I begin my questioning. "You two know each other?"

      Suddenly, Y/ns gaze twists. "Suga, you introduced me to them during our first year, silly. Remember? I went with you from practice once. And besides that, my good friend Miya is close to him."

      "Oh, yeah! I remember that. That means you only know Asahi, Daichi, and Kiyoko, right? I've gotta introduce you to the rest of the team! I'm sure they've missed you!" I chuckle, throwing an arm around her shoulders cautiously, expecting her to reject it. But she goes on casually with our discussion.

      "That's right.. well... I'm also— sort of— friends with them. Well, except Asahi. But Kiyoko and I are pretty close."

      '?' I tilt my head at the uncertain tone she spoke with. "Pretty close?" I ask, turning into the cafeteria with my arm still around her. The room is, of course, crowded as hell.

      Still, I manage to draw out what Y/n was saying to me, leaning my ear close to her mouth for better audio. "Yes! She's one of my best friends.. we used to date and it didn't work out, but we're pretty tight!"

      'DID I HEAR THAT RIGHT?!' My eyes widen, and I immediately let go of her, tightening my hands around the strap of my school bag. A gulp falls down my throat before I ask, "Did you say.. date?! You mean you two went out?!"

      To my surprise, Y/n nods proudly. "Yes! Why, did you not think she'd go out with a girl? Or is it so astonishing that I could ever get a girl like her?" She teases, while I'm still puzzled. So many questions ran through my head at the sudden fact: was Kiyoko gay? Was Y/n gay?! Does that mean she's gotten closer to Kiyoko than anyone before??

      "Suga, calm down. It's not like we're still together. As I said, it didn't work out!" She smirks towards me, putting a finger up towards her cheek. "Why? You got a little crush on her..? I wouldn't blame you."

      "N-no! It's not like that! It's just— she never told any of us. I guess she just keeps to herself more than predicted." My sentence comes out to sound like a question, rather than a response. It wasn't that I didn't support it, or that I was surprised Kiyoko would be her girlfriend. Honestly, I was just a little jealous of both of them.

      Either way, it seemed it didn't work out. So it didn't matter now. "Anyway, we're about best friends now, so I'm pretty familiar with your team. I don't think they would mind if I came, but just in case, I'll ask Daichi and Kiyoko." She explains, before looking back towards the slowly dying crowd of students in front of the cafeteria. "I better go soon, Suga. I'll let your captain know I'll be heading over there later—"

      "Wait!" I shut my eyes out of nervousness, as my brain wires work to come up with an excuse for why I yelled that. "You used to play volleyball, right?"

      An awkward nod from Y/n is given to me, followed by, "Yes, but I was sort of just a bench warmer. Nothing big." The hands that held her lunch box gripped tighter, as she suspected I would ask her a favor much larger than a lunch.

      "Mind helping me teach one of our new members how to receive?" I say. "His name is Hinata, and he's a first year. He has great talent and has great potential, but he kind of... sucks at volleyball. I mean, from what I've heard, he practices a lot. But I just think he needs some guidance. So, want to?"

      "Uhm... I'm pretty rusty.. but sure! It wouldn't hurt, right? Besides, I think I need a break from my friends wouldn't do any harm."

      'Yes, I did it.' I thought to myself, before leading her towards the doors that led to the gym. "Alright then, right this way!"

      "Suga! Don't you need your bag?" She immediately asks, tugging on my collared shirt. But I shake my head, responding with a light smile.

      "It's already outside, I just came to check on you, is all."

——

      Up, down, and up again went the ball. Each receive that Hinata had tried had failed every time. At this point, I wouldn't blame Y/n if she wanted to leave. But there she sits against the concrete wall of the outside of the gym, licking white rice off a spoon.

      "Hinata, drop your hips down more," I say to him, demonstrating the position I had stated. "Hit the ball like you're trying to return it where it came from. Got it?"

      Hinata's light expression appears on his face once again. "Yeah, got it!" He exclaims, before getting right into position. I signal the ball is going in the air before my palm hits it in the right spot, sending it towards him.

      And it shoots right back, along with a slap against Hinata's wrists. "Nice!" He praises himself, leaving a feeling of proudness deep within me.

      I'd never been able to teach somebody one of my special skills and having them accomplish it, not the way I did with Hinata. But that was mostly because he was driven by his entire body and soul to memorize every movement in his muscles to create a perfect receive. And who had taught him that? Your one and only.

      "Would you like me to start setting for you tomorrow morning?" I ask the ginger with confidence he'd reply with a yes. Thankfully, that's exactly what happened. His eyes light up in the sun, and his hands take full hold of the ball. "Y-you mean it, sir?!"

      The cold wind hits me, as well as another dosage of serotonin from the first year."Well, I am Karasuno's official setter after all! And you wanna practice spikes, right?" I ask, placing my red hands onto my hips.

      "Exactly! I love to spike! It feels so good when you get it right, and it's cooler than anything!" He shouts. I couldn't help but laugh at his excitement, even if it wasn't the first time he'd portrayed it. Hinata sure reminded me of my past self, and I'd do anything to help first-year Sugawara.

      Y/n suddenly joins our conversation, digging into a reason why Hinata is the way he is when it comes to spikes. "You must have a thing for spiking, don't you?"

      Hinata nods, putting a fist towards his face. "Yes. I didn't have a setter throughout middle school, and I was actually the only club member until my third year of junior high. I used to get my friend in the Basketball Club to toss for me, but after I had dropped out of the club, I went to anybody that could help me practice. Take the first years, and the ladies and setters from the girls' team, too. I've made a lot of friends along the way, but none of those people could ever become my real teammates. That's why I was dying to find out what kind of setters were in high school— but now.. you know."

      Hinatas pure passion dies down once he reaches the word 'setter', and I wouldn't blame him. The person he's supposed to be paired with is his complete opposite, and frankly, a dick-head. "Well, as I said, I'm a setter too. I'll toss you a few, Hinata! Don't get all down."

      I was expecting further satisfaction, but instead, his expression twists into envy. "But it's just that if I have you throw to me now, it kind of feels like... I'm losing." He frowns, looking away from my figure in anger.

      "You're just like someone I know, Hinata!   Always competitive." Y/n says, placing her small bento to the side, and lifting herself from the shaded spot she sat in. Her hands dust off her navy blue skirt, and her blazer comes off. "Why're you so competitive when it comes to Kageyama?"

      "If you ask me, it's better to avoid making enemies with those kinds of people." I join in.

      She wraps her hands around Hinatas shoulders, leaning over his shoulder. "You know, Hinata, you're not as bad as you make yourself out to be. Wanna know a secret about Kageyama?"Without hesitation, Hinata is fully interested in what Y/n had to say. Frankly, so was I.

      "Whatever you see from Kageyama is something he's learned from other players. He wasn't always so snobby; he used to be calmer and kinder. But once he was shown what he could do with his talent, it went to his head. Don't let that become you, Hinata! You have so much potential it's insane! I've never met anybody with as much love for volleyball as you." She pulls up her sleeves, getting into position for a receive, signifying I could rest now. "

      "How do you know what he used to be like, Y/n?" Hinata asks her, sending the ball into the air. My eyes follow it, but my ears listen intently to their conversation.

     "Well, I went to the same middle school as him. When he was a first-year, I was a third. Me and my friend we're on the girls' team, while my other three friends were on the boys' team. The four of us practiced every second of the day, which meant the two teams spent a lot of time together. Everything Kageyama knows is from another player; don't think he's just magically good at volleyball. Anyway, I don't know much about Kageyama, but I do know that he's changed dramatically." She explained. Just then, the bell for our sixth period had rung, and doors were heard opening and closing, as well as students fluttering around hallways.

       The three of us pause our mini practice and gather out things where they were settled. Thoughts ran through my head as I put my school blazer back onto my torso. If Y/n went to the same middle school as Kageyama, that must mean she knows a lot about Aoba Johsai: one of our greatest enemies in volleyball. And if she knows him, could she be familiar with his playstyle? In that case, having her around would not harm the team.

      "Sugawara, I'm off." She's heard saying from behind me, while she put her school bag over her shoulders. "Thank you for having me here with you and Hinata, I'm glad I could be of help."

      I nod in response, nervously breathing through the teeth."Yes, of course. Uhm— would you like me to pick you up from your classroom later on? Either that, or you could walk to the gym after band practice." I ask the young girl, longing for more time to hang about her.

      Then, she began walking backward, meanwhile talking. "I think I'll be just fine, Sugawara. No need to worry about me all the time. I've managed without you the past couple of days haven't I?" Her h/c danced with the wind as she did so, and the corners of her lips rose as she said so.

      "That's right.. I'll catch you later then!" I manage to shout out, raising a hand for a gentle wave, but it was too late. Y/n was already turning into the doors of the school, returning the gesture.

      Somehow, she always found a way to make the chains around my heart tighten a bit more. What was it that drew me towards Y/n? Hell, if I knew. "Wow, Sugawara. You've got yourself a pretty friend! She seems nice, too." Hinata expresses, looking agar with me. "Is she your girlfriend, or something?"

      "No, Hinata. Just an old friend. Someone who may know me better than anybody, you know." Y/n; The girl who knew her way around my heart.

—

Hey everybody, sorry I've been M.I.A for a while. Don't worry, I'm not giving up on my ff!!! I would never do that. This fan fiction is super duper important.

Please note my chapters!! It lets me know you guys enjoy them.

Make sure to be taking care of yourself: drink water, go outside, eat something, and heal yourself after hard work:) It's currently mental awareness month, and it's very important to be taking time for yourself.

love you guys

- Sugawara's beauty mark