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vaspider · 3 months

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Look. A little advice.

Once you get to a certain amount of Known on the internet or a subsection of it, or even in a subsection of a RL group of people, there are going to be people who will make up a version of you which exists only in their heads and which has absolutely nothing to do with who you are. It might better resemble who you were twenty years ago or it might never have had anything to do at all with who you were then or are now.

You cannot stop this. You cannot prevent this. Once you get a certain number of followers or a certain amount of attention, that's going to happen: people will make up stories about you which either look through a fun-house mirror at some small aspect of who you are and twist it and blow it up until it doesn't resemble you at all, or which just have absolutely no basis in fact whatsoever.

This is just another kind of parasocial relationship; it's the kind which really sucks to deal with, because it's so negative and so pervasive. It's very real, and the frustration you feel about it is very real. Nobody wants to be known incorrectly.

But. You can't control this. It's gonna happen. No matter what you say, no matter how precisely you say it, the people who want to misinterpret you will find a way to do so. This doesn't mean 'don't pay attention to what you say,' or 'don't be purposeful and precise with your language,' but it does mean 'don't obsess over the people who are determined to get you wrong.'

You can be the most anodyne, run-of-the-mill, unremarkable human being, and the people who are determined to hate you will find something that they can point to and say 'ha ha! I told you that Spider danced with the devil at midnight! I witnessed it myself!' (It will not help the situation if you are, say, self-admittedly stubborn as fuck, long-winded, and sometimes kinda fucking obnoxious, but please realize that in the end, it doesn't really matter. This is gonna happen no matter what.)

The people who matter will look at what's being said, wrinkle up their foreheads, and say, 'uh, man, it looks like Spider was actually playing with his dog at 9 am?'

That said, if you don't have elephant-thick skin from being a marginalized-gender human being who's been on the internet since before the web had pictures, there are some things you can do to make it easier when people making things up about you starts to get on your nerves:

Establish protocols for when it becomes too much: have someone read your messages, turn off your notifications, have time where you purposefully disengage.

Establish protocols for how you interact, period: "I will block people without guilt if they engage positively with the people who spread untruths about me." "I will answer everything in public so people can't lie about what I said, because it's right there in public." "I will not answer work-related stuff in DMs, that has to go to the work email." Whatever it is, create some boundaries for yourself. Stick to them. The people who push you to bend them aren't doing that for your benefit but theirs.

If you get someone who really hits your Weirdo Alarm, trust it. Yeah, block and report, but also, take screenshots and store them somewhere that isn't easily erased. I have an 'Internet Weirdos' folder, which makes it a little easier to deal with when people start doing things like 'making threats of physical harm to me and my family.' Don't fuss, just take a screenshot and chuck it in the folder. Having that record makes it easier to just forget that it ever happened, because you have a paper trail if anybody starts doing something Real Weird.

Spend time offline, with people who do actually know you.

Don't get lost in the version of you that someone else makes up in order to make up for the shit that's missing in their own life. You aren't required to play the part that someone else is trying to script for you. It is never to your benefit, only to theirs; you gain nothing by standing in that role for them, and you lose precious seconds of your one irreplaceable life.

You could be using those seconds to look at this video of how to pick up a duck, which I think we can all agree is a better investment of your time.

youtube

#internet #Youtube

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rie-092 · 2 months

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LITTLE SIBLING.

⟡﹒yandere! older brother x fem! reader

summary : your older brother thinks that your boyfriend wasn't good enough for you.

during his childhood, yohan davis really wanted a little sister. a sweet little sister that he can protect and adore forever. but, that dream was shattered when his dad died and he had already accepted the fact that no matter what happened, he won't be able to have a little sister. because he can't force his mom to remarry just because of his selfish desire after all.

and let's be honest here. with yohan's handsome face and those captivating (e/c) eyes of his. even when he was a child, everyone adored him. and maybe that was the main reason why he became like— this. uh, a spoiled son who was able to get whatever he wanted? aside from little sister, of course.

but then, when he reached the age of 15, his mom got remarried. he was excited, for his mom and for the chance that he can achieve his dream through his new dad. yep, he knew how obsessed he was with having a little sibling. everyone, except his mom (since she thinks that it was a cute thing but clearly it's not) has pointed it out to him. but he didn't care since in his eyes, it was unfair for him that his friends had little siblings that they could adore and spoil.

and yohan fucking celebrated when he got the news of his mom being pregnant a year later. he basically ran to his new dad and hugged him tightly and started to thank him and his ehem, let's forget about the last part. anyway, after that sudden revelation, yohan had started looking for good names that he could give to his younger sibling. he also looked for some cute toys and clothes but let's forget about it.

yohan, during his little sibling's birth stayed at the hospital. he didn't give a fuck about what other people were saying when he did all of his homework at the hospital while waiting for his parents and his new little sibling. and boy, oh, boy. yohan teared up when he saw you for the first time. you were so cute, so precious, so adorable and the most innocent thing on this planet.

“ so, how about you give her a name, son? ”

that was what he was waiting for. with a smile, he kissed your forehead as he told them the name that he had come up with after the 9 months that he spent thinking a name that suits you. (first name), his little sister. don't worry, your big brother will give you everything that you want and he will do everything for you.

expect that this guy will be quite overprotective when it comes to you. don't complain if you aren't able to play with your peers or if he doesn't let you go out and lock you at home. he was just worried! you're too innocent! what if you got kidnapped when he wasn't looking?! oh, and when he realized that you're allergic to (insert food here)? that day, you weren't able to see that thing inside your house again since yohan really threw a fit in front of your parents exclaiming that if they served you that kind of food again, he would run away and he will bring you with him.

but aside from his obsession, overprotectiveness and overbearing personality. yohan was a good older brother for you. he was much better than your classmates' older brothers. when the truth is he just engraved the 'he's the best older brother in the world' idea on your mind during your early childhood so that you will stay with him forever

anyways, much to his disappointment, when you became a teenager you found yourself a boyfriend. and that angers yohan. i mean, why do you think that boy deserves you? gosh, he was the one who raised you and he knew that boy wasn't deserving of you! he did his best to make you dependent on him. he cooked for you, washed your clothes and even made sure that you didn't know how to do housework! do you think that boy will do that for you? yeah, no.

expect that yohan will always roll his eyes when you mention your boyfriend whenever you are with him. this guy shamelessly stalks you when you are on a date, and when he sees that your boyfriend is about to kiss you? he will immediately call you to cut off that dirty romantic atmosphere that disgusting guy created. that guy bought you a gift? don't worry, your brother will give you a more extravagant the next day.

he will do anything to make you see that you made a wrong choice of getting into a relationship with someone. look, he knew that his obsession with his little sister was because his friends and bandmates always pointing out to him. there was some point when they asked him if he romantically saw you but that only disgusts him. the hell are they talking about? why would he romantically see his little sister? do they think that he's a sick freak? that's disgusting.

sure he stalks his little sister, sure he makes her dependent on him, sure he manipulates his younger sister that he's the kindest soul alive, sure there are some points that he commits crime for you. but anyways— he only did that because you were his little sister. his innocent and fragile little sister that he needs to protect!

and when the news about your boyfriend cheating on you reached his ears. he was fucking happy! see? he told you, that guy wasn't good enough for you! oh, his poor little sister. the only thing that he did when he saw you go home crying was to hug and comfort you but of course, while he manipulates you thinking that other guy aside from him and your dad was like that. a fucking freak that will only hurt your feelings.

ah, of course! do you think that he'll forget about that ex-boyfriend of yours? of course, he won't! because yohan, with a 'little talk' made sure that guy won't be able to approach you again. oh? you're worried when he came home bloodied and had a bruise on his cheek? this guy will tell you that your ex suddenly punched him out of nowhere when he talked to him when the truth is he beat that guy half to death. hehehe, and seeing you believed him made him smile widely. ah, it seems like you're really stuck with him from now on. and yohan was willing to sell his soul to a demon just to make sure this would last forever.

“ big brother's doing this for your sake so listen to me, okay? ”

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere x y/n #yandere headcanons #platonic yandere #platonic yandere x reader #yandere imagines #male yandere #platonic x reader #platonic yandere headcannons #imagines #tw. obsession #tw. manipulation #tw. mention of blood #tw. violence #tw. stalking

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landograndprix · 1 year

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paddock princess ✾ p.g

summary: you're trying to keep your relationship with pierre for yourself but that doesn't proof to be easy when you get forced into 'fake' relationships all the time.

requested: no.

a/n: idk what this is but it seems like I'm entering my Pierre era and I'm not even sorry.

☆☆☆☆☆

mercedesamgf1

liked by landonorris, y/nusername and 103,652 others

mercedesamgf1 y/n gave it her all this weekend, going from p13 after technical issues during qualifying to p3, an impressive performance if we do say so ourselves!

onwards to the next race and let's keep this positive momentum! 💪

tagged: y/nusername

view all 333 comments

marcusklein we have to keep an eye out for this one, the way she kept pushing herself an the car this weekend really shows the talent!

mercedesamgf1 👏

y/nmybeloved that's my girl!! 😍

landonorris bit disappointed she didn't wave back

norrizz4 she was going too fast to even acknowledge the tractor your driving 😭

y/nusername 👋

landonorris 👋

norrizz4 stop being so cute you 2

zhoueey incredible performance, can't wait to see what more y/n is going to bring to the grid

☆☆☆☆☆

y/nusername

liked by pierregasly, yourbestfrienduser and 120,745 others

y/nusername oui oui paris ✨️

tagged: pierregasly

view all 461 comments

y/nupdates before anyone freaks out, there's a fashion event going on in Paris and a lot of drivers are there

carlandooo okay but why are they hanging out with each other and not the others? 💀

hannaaahhh because ocon and gasly aren't exactly friends Pierre and Y/n are.

sharl16 y/n & pierre..this is my endgame by the way

chilisainz same

sainzz55c bestie who you having breakfast with? 👀

denisee99 probably her manager..she was there too

pierregasly 🤍

charlosss pierre what does this mean!? Stop feeding these people 😭

y/nusername posted on their story

☆☆☆☆☆

y/nusername

liked by landonorris, yourbestfrienduser and 100,421 others

y/nusername ⛳

tagged: landonorris, yourbestfrienduser, maxfewtrell

view all 621 comments

alex_albon did you win?

y/nusername sure did, had the most points!

landonorris that's not how it works..

lestappen_161 aw I missed them hanging out together :((

teamy/nlando 👀 👀 👀

byelando 👀 👀 👀

teamy/nlando double date? 👀

Zara3245 oooh no 2 ex teammates who became good friends are hanging out again, it can't be..it must be true..they're dating 🤪 y'all sound insane

maxfewtrell was my picture necessary, is it worth it?

y/nusername you've never looked prettier ❤️

carl55s queen of embarrassing max 😇

☆☆☆☆☆

y/nusername

liked by pierregasly, carlossainz55 and 119,788 others

y/nusername spain dump 🇪🇸

tagged: yourfriend1, yourfriend2, carlossainz55, yourfriend3, yourfriend4, yourfriend5

view all 389 comments

norrypoastri interesting indeed

y/nnnnn mutual friends and ones getting married, nothing that interesting.

csainz5555 second to last picture looks like they're having a date

lunaaaa it's insane how y/n will post pictures about all her friends but when there's a man, shit needs to go down like? Y'all okay?

Bott_ass for real for people who are so obsessed with her life seem to forget that carlos and y/n basically grew up together

lunaaaa she also grew up with some other drivers, they raced each other in karting so they've all known each other for years but yeah..people like to reach I guess

☆☆☆☆☆

y/nusername

liked by yourfriendsuser, pierregasly and 199,241 others

y/nusername greecing 🇬🇷

view all 401 comments

maxmaxmax have fun! 🥰

yukierree so I went to Greece a week too early 😔

alexalabono you're stronger than me I would've taken the cats with me

y/nusername I was this 🤏 close to taking them

stellaaar2000 shit you not I bumped into y/n and some dude by was too scared to ask for a picture 😭

gasmannn some dude?

stellaaar2000 yeah idk never seen him before but they looked happy!

y/nfan201 do some research and you'll find out that she's in Greece with her family 🙄

☆☆☆☆☆

pierregasly

likes by y/nusername, charles_leclerc and 271,987 others

pierregasly Greece with mon chéri 🤍

tagged: y/nusername

view all 584 comments

dannyriccc me crying? Yes, yes I am 😭

y/nusername beau 🤍

stop it omg why y'all too cute :(

sharl16 MY ENDGAME?! 😭

Charles_leclerc happy for you both ❤️

y/nusername

liked by pierregasly, carlossainz55 and 199,876 others

y/nusername greecing pt2 ft the lover 🤍

tagged: pierregasly

view all 499 comments

yourbestfrienduser my babies 🥰

landoscar fucking called it!!

pierregasly je t'aime 🤍

y/nusername moi aussi, je t'aime 🤍

gaassllyy mom and dad 😍

y/nupdates can we leave y/n's love life alone now? thank you :')

#pierre gasly x reader #pierre gasly x you #pierre gasly au #pierre gasly #lando norris x reader #carlos sainz x reader

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dawndelion-winery · 2 years

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Hear Me Out

They try hint at their crush on you

Ft. Arlecchino, Capitano, Childe, Dottore, Pantalone

Arlecchino:

She does it from the moment she confirms that her feelings for you are genuine and not just some passing fancy

Which means she's very serious about it and does take slight offence that you're not responding accordingly

Do you not like her back? Are you ignoring her hints to avoid hurting her feelings?

The definition of "please reject me so I can move on"

Is it because you heard the orphans calling her "mum" and got the wrong idea?

Please she's dying to know, she's been bringing you flowers like every other day

Lends you her jacket and hopes you forget to return it so she has an excuse to see you again

Columbina awkwardly patting her back when she stares into empty space in agony when you brush off yet another of her flirting attempts as being friendly

At some point she does ask you to just outright reject her so she can move on

Lowkey wants to go apeshit when she finds out you actually like her too and were just too nervous to flirt back

Capitano:

He has a good rep, so he hopes that improves his dateability in your eyes

He'll bring you cute trinkets he comes across from wherever he goes!!

Would also keep a matching piece for himself so he can imagine that y'all are dating

Also has someone help him take pictures of him should he ever go anywhere scenic and have it made into a sort of postcard for you

He wonders if you ever end up looking at him instead of the view (he hopes you do)

He subtly sneaks glances at you, but not so subtle so that there's a chance you'll catch him and possibly tell him that you're into him too

Ok in all honesty his flirting game probably sucks ass and he'd probably tell you your eyes are like his dog's as a compliment

Please just give him a chance his colleagues are getting sick of his silent brooding when you don't notice how he polished his helmet extra shiny just for you

Childe:

The most obvious of them all please he's clinging to you like he's obsessed

So many terrible jokes that aren't even jokes

"Wouldn't it be funny if we kissed- no? Not even once? Ok haha, no I'm not upset I was kidding."

Unlike Arlecchino, he knows rejection isn't going to make him move on

So he hovers like a dog off the streets that just picked you as its new master

Makes a point to tell you everything he succeeds at, even if it's mundane

Stuff like "hey I made really good waffles, I could cook for you y'know?" Or "Yeah I fixed that door all on my own I'm really handy around the house."

Like Capitano, he brings you trinkets

Unlike Capitano, they aren't always wholesome and may come from the people and monsters he beat up/killed

Brings them to you like a cat presenting their hunt

Dottore:

Makes synthetic human parts that are as identical to yours as possible and compliment them in front of you without telling you they're based on you

"What do you think about these eyes?"

"...yes, they're very...eye-like?"

"They're a lovely pair of eyes, wouldn't you agree? Look at how they-"

Yes, he absolutely will point out how they function to you. Yes, he thinks he's being romantic

So he doesn't get why you don't seem to catch on that he's into you

Did you not realise those were your organs he complimented?

In a way it gives him some weird satisfaction that he knows you more intimately than even you

But he does want you to realise eventually

So he'll walk up behind you under the guise of "monitoring your work" and inhale your scent like the lunatic he is (another trait of yours he'll make sure to remember)

Pantalone:

Isn't it obvious? He spoils you

He lets you use his wallet like a subscription trial

Enjoy it? Consider dating him to extend the privilege duration

He makes it very clear cut to you: he's into you, and he'll take care of you for as long as you're his beloved

He also makes his interest in you very clear to everyone else, so chances are, there's no one else who's dare approach you unless it's another harbinger

And be very clear on this: once you say yes to him, there's no backing out

Even before you start dating, he acts as though you already are

He wouldn't pressure you into anything you're uncomfortable with, but expect an arm around your waist to hold you close to him

Like I said, very clear cut, there's no way you could mistake his affection

Taglist[send an ask to be added/removed]: @myluvkeiji @pluvioseprince @aqui-soba @favonius-captain @tiredsleep @raincxtter @loverofthe-stars @gensimping-for-all @irethepotato @almond-adeptus @mx-kamisato @yuzuricebun @chaosinanutshell @heizours @codename-hiraeth @andreiling01 @callmemeelah @sadlonelybagel @plinkuro @thevictoriousmoon @mastering-procrastinating @ineshapanda

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bitter-hibiscus · 3 months

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I made a post a little while ago about hating the RHATO dynamic for JayRoy so here's how they work in my mind (spoiler alert, it's not healthy)

Jason is in his early 20s and Roy is in his mid-30s in my mind. this is important

Jason has Rampant daddy issues and he likes that Roy is a mostly serious older man that makes him feel kind of stupid and is Just A Little condescending (because fuck the "dumbass Roy" RHATO characterization)

Roy has been grieving Lian for like a decade now and while romance is not necessarily the best way to cope with that, it makes him feel good that he can "take care" of Jason. the age difference isn't particularly appealing to him, though, but he does like that Jason is a little bit obsessed with him

Roy is very no-nonsense when it comes to Jason's Bullshit, and calls him out when he's being too egocentric and selfish. Jason, in turn, calls Roy out when he lets The Horrors get to him too much and motivates him to work out and shower and deal with Life

Both of their brains move a hundred miles an hour, so neither of them mind it when the other isn't paying Full Attention to what they're saying. This also works because Roy has a tendency to forget mundane tasks while Jason forgets big events/plans, and they remind each other of stuff constantly

I also think Jason would be intimately familiar with addiction, even though his thing was alcohol and not drugs, and it would make Roy feel a little more settled about his heroin addiction (esp considering Catherine) that Jason knows how recovery works and is willing to support Roy in the right ways

Roy is also not naive, but he is a sucker and he's desperate for someone to stay in his life for once. Jason, obviously, does not, because he can't deal with Being Happy and has a tendency to think all the evil in the world is his fault, but he comes back because he's an asshole, and Roy does believe in second chances and he would love it if Jason loved him so much that he couldn't stand to stay away (Jason leaves again because he's an asshole)

I think that after that Roy would be willing to hold Jason at arms' length but wouldn't get back with him, especially after he finds out Lian is alive. Jason, for as much as Roy loves him, is not someone he would want around his daughter. Jason is only really able to think about himself so while he does respect Roy's decision, he doesn't really fully back off, and Roy understands Jason's psyche too much to fully shoo him away

Anyway yeah I think their relationship would be a lot more grim and a lot less "idiots in love" like most people seem to characterize them as. Both Roy and Jason understand their own inner workings and know what they crave in relationships. They aren't dumb or codependent, though maybe a little inter-depentent.

#dc comics #jason todd #roy harper #jayroy #red hood #arsenal dc #ramble ramble ramble #feel free to reblog with more opinions or just flat-out disagree with me :D discussing this stuff with people is fun

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bloodplague · 2 months

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Hi💕💕💕 Could you please make some general hc about toby like his habits and his routine please?

Send hugs ad kisses!

I also wanted to say that i love your content :)

Ticci Toby - Headcanons

AHH THANK YOU SO MUCH!! And Ilysm for requesting that, seriously!! <333 and OF COURSE!

I'm trying to be as realistic & canon as possible with those headcanons, there's a lot to say about Toby anyway! :]

Headcanons:

Toby does not remember his past canonically, due to his amnesia. So, he is not a grumpy or constantly depressed person. He can be very talktive around people he likes due to his ADHD and mania episodes which both cause hyperactivity. (Bipolar contains mania)

Toby doesn't really care about people that aren't his fond ones. At all. He will only care about someone or at least show a tiny bit of interest if the person looks beautiful or seems interesting in any way. I think that because he once wanted to keep a woman alive who, in his words, looked beautiful. Of course he changed his mind after she pissed him off, but yes, he wanted to see if she deserved to live and gave her a chance.

He loves playing Mario Cart with BEN, as he finds a strange comfort in it. That is because he used to play Video games in his childhood with either his sister or the neighbor kid.

If he smokes, he starts violently coughing like an seizing camel.

He loves wearing sweatpants and turtlenecks when he's in the mansion. He doesn't usually change his clothes when he's going to bed and just sleeps in what he is wearing. For missions, he simply throws a hoodie over the turtleneck and puts on some jeans with a belt for his hatchets. Nothing super special. -- ((My AU has the Creepypasta mansion thing, yes. I at least have my own logical explanation for why and hhh so yeah,))

Toby forgets his things basically everywhere, no matter if it are his goggles, his mouthguard, his hatchets, etc... Mainly due to his amnesia, but also because of his schizophrenia. Schizophrenia causes disorganized speech and thoughts at times, so he might jump from topic to topic.

He doesn't really listen when people talk to him or at leasts struggles with it. It's hard to talk about something he cares about. If he doesn't care, he will simply not listen. IF he cares and tries to listen, he will get distracted super easily. After he asked a question, his attention might be gone already once you start speaking.

Toby is not rude but sassy. He's not praticularly mean to people but will get sassy when given the chance since he's a jerk.

His favorite animals are raccoons, owls, cheetahs and moths.

He has a weird obsession with fire. He loves committing arson.

Toby has a lot of damage in his room because he throws his hatchets at the figures he sees due to his schizophrenia.

Toby constantly wears his gloves or bandages to cover up the wounds on his hands. He only lets specific people like EJ check on his hands or Nurse Ann, so they can just roughly patch him up. Otherwhise, he keeps them hidden to not seem vulnerable.

This man has an EXTREME fear of abandonment. Once he gets close to someone, he will be clingy af, orrr suddenly cold af.

Toby doesn't get along with most people, usually sticking around Cody(X-Virus), Eyeless Jack and Kate. Those are his best friends.

His favorite artists are: Mother Mother, Get Scared, Insane Clown Posse, My Chemical Romance, Nirvana, Three Days Grace, Radiohead, Salvia Palth, Linkin Park, Panic! At The Disco, Alex G, Crystal Castles, Mitski, The Neighbourhood, Coldplay, Mindless Self Indulgence, Melanie Martinez, Pastle Ghost and Billie Eilish.

When he finds dead animals like raccoons, he will pick them up and pet them, all fascinated. He might even hug and squeeze it to somehow get comfort from it. The comfort he didn't recieve and needs.

Toby can go from super confident to super insecure very fast.

Toby loves touching things to feel real. If he's feeling surreal, he will start touching things or taste things to feel real.

He struggles with sleeping, but once he actually is asleep, he usually has disturbing nightmares. As soon as Toby wakes up, he either remembers them and has a panic attack OR he will feel uncomfortable for a reason he can't recall and will avoid sleeping as much as possible.

He's emotionally detached, but tbh, he's a real INFP (Personality type).

Habits:

Honestly, he sometimes tries watching porn to feel something. Due to his mania episodes, he tends to be hypersexual. (Again, he's bipolar which causes mania, and mania can cause hypersexuality.)

Tobias keeps chewing the flesh around his fingers, biting the skin on hips lips and pulling on his hair.

When he's nervous, he will fidget with his hands or clothes a LOT, or keep something like a leaf in his hand so he can just play with it instead of harming himself.

If he's pissed, he starts grinding his teeth to focus on the noise and the feeling instead of the anger he's feeling.

Toby sometimes drinks alcohol to just go completely numb, even emotionally. He uses it to escape the pain he's feeling mentally, as soon as he gets his flashbacks.

Routine: His routine might be a little difficult to explain? But I'll try for sure! I hope I'm not getting the commission wrong, if I do, let me know and I will redo this!

When Toby wakes up, the first thing he does is check where he is. He usually skips breakfast or forgets it, but IF he doesn't forget it, he will just devour a toast or something simple like that. When he doesn't have a mission to do, he will just do the most random stuff like go for a walk, play video games, listen to music, etc. Toby doesn't have a specific routine, he just does what he feels like doing. One thing is sure tho: Toby listens to music every day. No matter how many songs, no matter what song. He must listen to at least one song to feel comfortable and connected to reality. Music gives him comfort and he enjoys listening to it, so he listens to music every day. Sometimes he even plays e-guitar! :] He won't do anything special other than killing, listening to music or talking to himself the whole day. As soon as the stars become visible, Toby goes outside to observe them, spending his time by thinking and having conversations with himself. He doesn't usually sleep anyway, so he spends a lot of time caught in his thoughts. Toby usually drinks a lot of energy drinks to not collapse, even tho his hyperactivity usually keeps him awake.

When this insomnaic finally decides to sleep, he places his hatchets somewhere where he can find them again. After making sure his weapons are on their place, he will just straight up jump into bed to pass out. Changing clothes, brushing his teeth or anything related to that isn't a thing Toby likes. I feel like sometimes Toby would plan on meeting people like Kate or Cody behind the mansion to drink a little and smoke, but bro would just straight up forget about it and go to bed like nothing is bothering his life, completely forgetting about the things he planned. Maybe he at least gets a peaceful sleep... or something.

Sorry if it's not THAT much, after finishing the habits and headcanons my brain just stopped working and had no clue what to continue with when it comes to routines. Probably gonna edit this when I'm sober and able to think straight again, but this is what I got so far! Again, thank you SOO much for requesting this, and that you enjoy my content qenuinely makes me happy <3

#ticci toby creepypasta #creepypasta #slenderman #headcanon #ticci toby #tobias erin rogers #creepypasta headcanons #creepypasta fandom #ticci toby headcanon #crp

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crgasmpuppet · 4 months

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penn badgley (circa 2015) x female!reader.

warnings: smut. lmao.

hi i don't know if people even read penn badgley/joe goldberg fics at this point but i am obsessed with this man and wanting to swallow his kidz so. lmk how u like it lol.

-wulf hailey

————

laying on my floor and listening to music louder than most humans should physically be able to withstand is probably one of my favorite past times.

especially with my eyes closed, which might not really be a good idea. there could be a murderer waiting in the shadows at any given moment.

yeah, oka-

"holy shit!"

something knocks at my window and i scramble up and backwards looking for a weapon and end up with a shoe. i mean, at least my reflexes are fast. ish.

i hear a deep laugh come from the window and realize who and what scared the absolute shit out of me. my best friend in the whole world, penn. not to mention my crush for the past 11 years since him and his family moved in next door. another boy-next-door cliche, huh?

i turn down the music to a normal volume and walk to the window, shoe still in hand.

"penn dayton badgley, you scared me half to death!" i scream, smacking him in the arms with every word. he giggles maniacally.

"you should've seen your face! holy shit that was the best thing i've ever seen!"

“you aren't funny." i say, my cheeks burning . i roll my eyes and pull him inside. he falls through the window and lands on his ass, springing to his feet in the blink of an eye.

he's wearing my old, triple sized, brooklyn nets sweater (we have jointly never watched one basketball game in our lives) and a pair of grey sweats. classic.

"cat like reflexes. unlike you." he laughs, grabbing the shoe from my hand. "really?"

"you cant blame me! what weapons would a teenage girl have in her bedroom?"

he gives me a blank stare.

"hey, i wasn't near any of them!"

i sit back on the floor, while penn flicks through my records. he picks a few out and shows them to me. childish gambino, chance the rapper, and the cure.

"what a spread." i say sarcastically.

"whatever, you big bully. pick one."

"definitely the cure. you already knew before you asked."

"i know i just wanted to be cute." he fake pouts as he puts the record on and sits down by my side. plainsong starts to play, and i nod my head to the melody.

"yeah, it's too bad you suck too hard to be cute." i reach up to push his head of scruffy brown hair and he fake dies with his hand over chest.

“how could you say that? now i’m doomed to an eternity aloooooone…”

"get up, hamlet. this isn't theatre." i laugh. "you're so dramatic, it's almost cute."

"you think i'm cuuute." he snickers and pushes me over slightly.

i bob back up. "i said almost."

"yeah, whatever." he says, getting up to turn up the music. i get up to go and sit on my bed, "the grounds really hurting my ass.".

he turns to me and turns back to the record player. "boohoo, how do you want me to fix it for you?"

i cross my arms and pout. "maybe i wanted you to kiss it for me."

"ew, gross. you have cooties." he chuckles as he sits down on my bed, pushing me over to get more room.

"it's not my fault you're so long." i laugh. "maybe you should lose a few inches."

"you know what? you're right. i think some parts of me are too big. i think people might get jealous." he says, cockily.

lovesong starts, and it makes me forget whatever he's talking about. "shut up and let me listen to my music, you fucking nerd. you know this is my favorite!"

he realizes and closes his mouth in the middle of his "hey!". i close my eyes and he does the same.

whenever i'm alone with you

you make me feel like i am home again

whenever i'm alone with you

you make me feel like i am whole again

i feel a thumb brush my cheek, and i open my eyes slowly to see penn's deep brown eyes staring down at me. they almost look black.

"what are you doing?" i choke out, wishing i had never said them in the first place. my cheeks are red hot, and i wish his hand wasn't on it so he couldn't physically feel my embarrassment.

"are you nervous?" he asks, his big brown eyes searching for an answer in the cast expanse of mine.

whenever i'm alone with you

you make me feel like i am young again

i loosen my shoulders, that i didn't even know were tense, and look up at him fully.

"no."

whenever i'm alone with you

you make me feel like i am fun again

as soon as the last ounce of word comes out of my mouth, his mouth has replaced it. his full lips press into mine and i see fireworks going off behind my closed eyes. i squeeze them shut and push into him harder, taking his bottom lip into my teeth and biting it, maybe a little bit hard.

his big eyes open and look at me. i can feel them and i look at him, too. i let go of his lip softly, seeing it pull back to his teeth. it feels like a fucking eternity until he nods and pulls my leg over his till i'm on his lap.

he presses his raw lips into mine, his hands on my hips, squeezing them and leading them slowly onto the bulge in his sweatpants. i can't help but let out a breathy moan, immediately clapping a hand over my mouth.

penn looks up at me with those gorgeous puppy eyes and i forget my fucking middle name. he takes my hand down from my mouth and puts it to his, putting my thumb into it and letting it rest on his bottom teeth. the sight makes me melt into a puddle, and i fall back into his kiss again.

however far away

i will always love you

we both let out little pants, both of our mouths constantly open like we were scared that if we closed them, we would never be able to open them again.

however long i stay

i will always love you

i felt his hand slip down the back of my pants, stopping for a second to grip my ass in the nicest way possible, before his two middle fingers reached my clit. he twirled his fingers around and then slid them up.

"you're so fucking wet." he moans, barely getting the words out. "are you always like this?"

i nod slowly. "it's kind of embarrassing."

he grabs me by the bottom of my chin, pulling me back to his mouth. he slowly circles and teases me, while putting a hand up my shirt to play with my nipple.

he pauses, and pulls back. he puts his thumb up to my mouth, and slides it in. he looks at me with those deep brown eyes, and my mouth closes around his thumb, sucking on it.

he takes it out and rubs the cold wetness on my nipple, making me yelp a little before clapping a hand to my mouth once again.

penn takes my hand down again, looking at me.

"don't cover your mouth. i want to hear all the little things you say when i'm not here."

"penn- holy fuuuck." i squeak out, before he flips me back over to my back and climbs on top of me. he grinds on top of me, his hard dick sliding up to my clit perfectly.

"oh my fucking god, i need to be inside you." he almost whines, his teeth gritted and eyes closed in euphoria.

“please, penn. i need you so bad..” i trail off into sweet nonsense.

he looks at me with a sweet smile. "i've always seen the way you look at me. those pretty eyes. i've always wanted to see them like this."

"like what?" i hesitantly ask.

"hungry for me."

i'm genuinely speechless, and i guess he can tell, so he kisses me with so much animality that i can barely breathe. his lips lead down to my jaw, down my neck until i finally sit up and take my shirt off.

"wow, how smooth." he snickers, planting kisses down and around my chest.

"shut up, penn." i say, breathily. my mind is going a million miles an hour, yet i cant point out a single thought.

in a swift second, my pants are off, with no help to penn, of course. i cant believe this boy can tie his own shoes sometimes.

"what did you say?" he asks, his voice calm and collected.

"i said shut up, penn." i laugh. "you don't scare me."

"i don't wanna scare you." penn whispers, his hand slipping down into my panties. i automatically feel his fingers at my clit, and i feel another hand at my throat.

"i just wanna touch you." he smiles, going down my stomach again and littering it with kisses.

"i wanna feel you." he says kissing my thighs, softly. i buck my hips up with every kiss, a white hot fire between my legs. well, actually 2.

"i wanna love you." he says, looking up at me. his eyelashes tickle my thighs, and i look down at him, my eyes wide.

"and i wanna fucking ravage you."

"p-please." is the only word i can get out before he pushes a long, slender finger inside me.

"oh my fucking god." he moans, his head falling onto my thigh while he pushes his finger in again. "i cant believe you can get this wet."

"it's all f-for you. goddd, it's all for you."

he smiles up at me. "i know. do you know how long i've been waiting for this? god, you're so fucking perfect." he says, sliding his tongue from his fingers up to to my clit and i shudder.

"holy fuck, penn." i moan, running my hands through his long brown hair, gripping onto it and bucking my hips up.

he moans against my pussy, the vibrations shooting up my body, making explosions go off in my mind. he pushes his fingers in and out, sucking on my clit with ease.

he comes back up to kiss me, adding another finger inside me.

"are you ready, baby?" he asks me, sweetly. i nod, a little too aggressively and he chuckles, unbuckling his belt and shucking his pants off and throwing them somewhere to the floor.

he kisses me, his tongue sliding inside my mouth. i suck on it, making him moan into my mouth. he grabs his dick, teasing me with it by sliding it up and down, looking me in the eyes.

he slides it in, slowly, gritting his teeth and breathing out a moan. "you are so fucking beautiful. god, you're so beautiful." he chokes out.

"mmmph, penn. fuck, you're so good- "

"a-ah, fuck baby. you feel so fucking good. i don't ever want to fucking l-leave, fuck, babe." he brings my leg up above my head, going as deep as he can. the headboard is smacking the wall so hard it's nearly chipping at the drywall.

“p-penn, im gonna c-"

"it's okay, baby, i've got you. i-im going to, too, fuck-"

penn's eyes damn near roll back into his head, as he groans out the most guttural and gorgeous moan ever known to man as we both cum at the same time.

"holy fuck, baby, you're gripping me s-so fucking h-hard." he says, his eyes squeezed shut, leaning on top of me and biting my shoulder.

i take a sharp inhale, the pain subsiding to pleasure as i buck my hips up, making penn shudder and moan before he pulls out and lays next to me.

i take time to catch my breath before i feel a pair of arms wrap around me. i look over to see penn looking at me with those big brown doe eyes, and i look away, embarrassed.

he turns my face towards him, closing his eyes and pressing his lips onto mine. i smile into his mouth, our tongues fitting together perfectly.

we pull away at the same time, and he's already smiling at me. he's almost laughing.

"what are you laughing about?" i start laughing because he's laughing.

"nothing, nothing. i just-" he hesitates. "i've been waiting for that for so fucking long." he kisses the top of my head.

"me, too. that was perfect." i respond. i literally cant stop smiling.

it's silent for a little bit. it's a beautiful, comfortable silence.

"would you want to be my girlfriend?" he finally asks.

my eyes widen, and i look back up at him.

“are you serious?" i ask. "i cant tell if you're joking."

he looks at me, his eyebrows furrowed. "are you crazy? i've wanted you since i've moved here. it's definitely fate."

"you're such a fucking nerd." i say, giggling. i kiss him on the forehead.

he gets up to pull on his pants, and walks over to the records he picked out.

"because the internet. of course." i roll my eyes at him.

"you don't get it. donald glover is a musical fucking genius, baby."

he comes back and lays down, pulling me into his arms and resting his head on mine.

no matter what you say or what you do

when i'm alone i'd rather be with you

fuck these other niggas, i'll be right by your side

till 3005

hold up.

#penn badgley #joe goldberg #you

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sharonisthebettercarter · 4 months

Note

contemplated at shooting annie (which he unnecessarily did)

punched Hughie for stopping him from killing Kimiko’s brother, Kenji, right in front of her. Then said if he got in the way of him reuniting with Becca, he’d kill Hughie too.

Used an infant as a weapon and threatened to kill them

Is a hypocrite himself (obviously)

Killed a whale

Drugged Marvin

He was willing to sell Ryan to Vought knowing that it would likely mean another Homelander. He didn't care, because it meant he would have Becca.

Insulted Ryan, TO BECCA'S FACE (honestly, Becca should've never tried to make Billy like, let alone tolerate Ryan if she knew that Billy has a weak connection with children and is distrustworthy around them. Like she should've just told him to kick rocks and make sure he won't have a hand in raising Ryan either)

He said that Becca could just "have another kid", not understanding that kids aren't replaceable, like objects (jewelry, cars, houses, etc.) That attitude is fucking horrifying if you're a parent, and I'd worry that he would have that attitude towards any kids (whether mere mortal or supe)

He betrayed his team multiple times

Threatened to kill hughie multiple times

doesn’t care who he hurts in the process

Gaslighted ryan

Let's also add the fact that he CHEATED ON BECCA WHEN THEY WERE TOGETHER

Attempts to kidnap Zoe (based on what the trailers implying)

UNALIVES 2 CHARACTERS AT LEAST (ONE MAIN CHARACTER) wouldn't surprise me if it turns out to be Hughie, considering he threated to unalive Hughie numerous of times.

In all honesty, I hope he hallucinates an angry Becca and Becca's ghost haunts him in the next seasons, like Rhonda's ghost haunted Anika in "Empire".

don't forget unnecessarily attempted to blow up teddy stillwell~!

this shit would be why i roll my eyes anytime someone calls billy an 'aNtI-hErO' or 'gOoD', leik Y'ALL--

lol oh no dear gawd you poor bitch, my dear sweet beautiful angel baby child~<3

just wait until we get to the end of the story or even just a *little* bit further along... this ain't even the half of it...

;))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

the ever expanding shit list on butcher can make homie look tame at times, but yeah no~. def not a good guy, def not right in anyway, one of the big main points of the story is proving butcher wrong and showing just how far his own head was up his own ass.

he's a secondary villain to the series, primary being h--VOUGHT (but also since people forget our *actual* hero is HUGHIE, and that the supes themselves are a SYMPTOM not the actual source of the problems *cough*cough*HEY REMEMBER STARLIGHT WHO EXISTS??* OR THIS WHOLE ASS ABUSIVE FUCKIN' COMPANY THAT EXPLOITS CHILDREN AND EXPERIMENTS ON BABIES LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS??????) and leik. he is *made* specifically to disappoint and prove the reader/viewer *wrong* about him (apart from prove himself wrong) by being his absolute worst with zero excuses for it at legit every chance he gets. mainly by being a serial killer butt~

he's *designed* to toy with our emotions and the hope that we see some *good* in him or give him the benefit of the doubt, because we are seeing the story mostly from *hughie's* perspective, and that is specifically how *HUGHIE* feels about him. and some are def blind to it (like hughie lmao) but some can see through butcher's bullshit (like *annie*)

like his whole damn niche is *dragging* homelander down to his level and causing chaos beyond his own wildest wet dreams at the *expense* of everyone else, and homie clocked that motherfucker before giving him the promise of that ticking time bomb explosion because butcher ain't the only one pushing him too far--but he is certainly the most devoted.

his *obsession* with homie completely consumes his life and everything he does. homelander *hardly* cares about billy beyond his being a persistent thorn in his side that *occasionally* provides *some* level of interest.

i think an easy gauge at what's really going on is to look no further than annie's perspective. many people are more than willing to overlook butcher's bullshit, but annie describes what's going on probably better than anyone i've seen.

for homie? she specifically says. "there's something *wrong* with homelander", but with butcher she just gets fuckin' mad MAD because HE. KNOWS. BETTER. and does worse.

the framing there isn't a mistake. leik at all.

post gen v, i saw a bunch of people calling for the gen v kids to join the boys or for butcher to 'adopt' them and the only thing i could think was 'dear fuckin' satan, for the love of GAWD, PLEASE NO' because the only thing butcher does and *would* do is~

ABUSE.

USE.

MURDER WHEN THEY ARE NO LONGER OF USE.

LATHER, RINSE, REPEAT.

it is LITERALLY all he does the WHOLE fuckin' time, and it's comin' to a head cause there is only so much bullshit his team will tolerate, and i--.

MM IS BETTER ANYWAY AND IF ANYONE SHOULD BE DOING ANY ADOPTING--

i need butcher... to stay THE FUCK *away* from the gen v kids because *when* he hurts them i will lose my shit--

i don't think hughie will die. given the comic, he's actually one of the few people i would say is actually guaranteed to survive (again, goes back to people forgetting *hughie* is our protagonist, NOT butcher), but he may be the one who ends up killing butcher, def not before billy does a ton of damage to showcase what an irredeemable scumbag he really is (i love him, i really do BUTT JESUS fuckin' CHRIST MAN--)

when it comes to ryan, that's a whole 'nother can o worms, but there's a part of me that honestly feels billy only protected him--not because he actually gives a shit about ryan specifically (let's not forget that moment he was about to beat ryan to death when becca died), but because he actually does care specifically about *keeping his promise to becca* and the leverage that ryan *is* over homelander.

and while i do think it's possible that through that and in his own twisted round about way, he *cares* for ryan in a similar way he cares for hughie (mostly just the connection to becca tho), i also think it's pretty likely there is a part of him that deeply resents ryan *specifically*, i think its SUPER duper fuckin' likely that as soon as billy gets the idea in his head that:

'ryan is a lost cause and can't be saved'?

*and* he's no longer of use to billy?

that poor kid's gonna fall to the 'just another supe freak/only worth somethin' dead' list for billy. :/

and i get it, it is fuckin' infuriating but he is supposed to be infuriating because we're supposed to realize just how full of shit and actually evil he really is under the bravado. he's just another extremist opposite of homelander to the point where even their desires and presentation, inner and outer, ring opposite.

boi is a wannabe frank castle with ZERO fuckin' principles.

but yeah, once you get to the point of trying to BLOW UP A FUCKIN' BABY, i--

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straykittenidk · 7 months

Text

MY FAVORITE RCP EPISODES AND WHY

(MY OPINION!!)

1- "Save Helly" The best episode in my opinion. We had worried rescue team + ANGST AND FLUFF + POLI??? I loved Poli in this episode a lot. He's not really my favorite but he gave me strong older brother vibes especially when he was helping Helly. Considering that the show is for preschoolers, this episode was genuinely so good? Tbh I just wish Jin would have showed up more. I would've loved to see her more worried for Helly since she's always yelling at him and stuff, but I'm still happy with what we got.

2- "Thank you, Roy". THIS EPISODE. I LOVED ROY HERE SO MUCH. THE ANGST, THE FLUFF, THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT I'M OBSESSED. This is why the rescue team focused episodes are the best, because there are so many things you can do with them and their dynamic. I love the lesson it gives to kids, aka that you should always take care of yourself and stuff. And I also love how it sort of showed that the rescue team aren't all indestructible and can get hurt on the job. I don't really have much to say on it other than the fact that it was amazing and made me love Roy as a character even more.

3- "Amber's training". THIS EPISODE HAD SO MUCH POTENTIAL. I love Amber sm she's my comfort character, my mother, my pookie bear, and I love episodes where she's the main focus. I loved how we got to see her vulnerable side and more of her personality and struggles in this episode. SHE JUST WANTED TO BE AS STRONG AS THE OTHERS AND PUSHED HERSELF TOO MUCH AAAAA. And I also loved the angst at the beginning and when she fell off that cliff and how she got hurt, and Jin and the others were worried, however the next part of the episode was kinda disappointing. She just got up like nothing happened and went to look at some infected trees. I really wanted her to get a more serious injury, so the others would need to take care of the doctor instead of the other way around and it would be such a cute plot. It would teach kids that you don't need to push yourself just because you don't succeed the first time, everyone learns on their own pace and Amber should've just trained slowly and not stress too much since she just ended up hurting herself badly, and honestly I'm so mad they didn't add that. (But fanfiction exists, maybe I should rewrite this ep with this plot?)

4- "Let's be honest" MORE HELLY ANGST. I loved how Roy went in to save Helly when he was in that fire and he was so worried and FUCKK ROY WAS SUCH AN OLDER BROTHER HERE AND HE TOOK THE BLAME WHEN JIN WAS MAD And then Helly got overwhelmed with all the fighting and flew away... So yeah it was a bit angsty and I love that.

5- "Helly's Birthday". Yet another Helly angst. This was definitely my favorite S1 episode. The plot was simple but really cute, I felt so bad for Helly, like imagine the people you care about the most forgetting your birthday, especially since Helly is most definitely a kid, or at least way younger than the others. THOSE ARE HIS PARENTS‼️But I can also sort of understand the rescue team. Considering all the shit the town puts them through, they were probably stressed and busy, especially Jin, so they just forgot. Still they apologized and all ended well (although I would've loved more angst)

6- "Poli's secret" I loved this episode because we learned something more about Poli and it's his FEAR! I love that he's afraid of caterpillars, giving him a silly fear like that was a good move and it gave the character more personality. Also the way the others teased him at the end was fun, I love how they're so comfortable with each other to joke around and tease each other too.

7- "Bicycle safety (traffic safety with Poli)" alright pls hear me out on this one... The traffic safety series is my guilty pleasure, like it's not good but I still enjoy it for some reason, (not as much as daily life safety with amber but I still like it) and this episode was super cute to me. Like we have this girl who can't ride a bike and Poli sees her struggling, stops patrolling and just teaches her how to ride a bike. she didn't even ask him to, he just decided to help her out of his own free will and I thought it was so cute and fluffy. Poli was so dad here. I really wish we could see more children like this instead of always seeing Kevin and doughy (or whatever his name is) since tbh I tolerated them at first but I don't really like them...

#robocar poli #i need more amber episodes #this is so long #robocar poli fandom

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alphabetboyluvr · 2 months

Note

I read your work on Wattpad and I totally love you, but what I don’t like is the way you focus on read to vote ratios. You are literally the only author I know (and I follow hundreds of authors, some that could rival you) and you are the only one that cares about read to vote ratios.

I think it’s something you shouldn’t worry about because the read count isn’t even accurate because it also includes when the author reads the chapter themselves even while editing.

I know votes are important to authors, but to most readers (because I’ve asked some friends I’ve made on Wattpad) we don’t even look at how many votes a book has to make us want to read the story. We look at the description and how many views it’s gotten, not the votes, because we know votes aren’t a good representation of how good a book is because people can forget to vote or just don’t give out votes no matter how good the story is.

Your books have millions of views (regardless if some are proper views or not) and your books are always out there and they get discovered, and I think you’re a bit greedy with asking for votes- especially when you do those god awful vote goals in order to get a chapter out.

I’ve seen other authors do vote goals, and it makes me want to do the total opposite and not vote because you should be writing and releasing chapters for the fun of it because you like writing and want to update, not for the votes.

I love you and your writing, but I’d say the whole voting ratio thing is a flawed concern and does leave a few readers bitter with you. I know you probably don’t care, but I just had to say it as I saw your insta where you mentioned the vote ratio and it irked me coz like I said, you’re the only author that cares about it when you shouldn’t worry about it considering your thousands of followers and your millions of views

okay, a lot to discuss with this one!

so, firstly thank you for sharing your thoughts - discussion is always welcome, even if we have different views on the subject! and thank you for the kind words about my work, too!!

i will just say that pretty much all the fic writers i know on a personal level do, to some extent, care about the engagement on their stories. whether it be wattpad, tumblr or ao3, engagement is hugely appreciated for a number of reasons.

i know of a good handful of writers, large and small, who use vote goals - even if they don't outwardly state it, they care about the ratio. they wouldn't do the goal if not. that's what it's for.

i think it's also important to note that i don't do vote goals anymore and haven't done for quite some time. i tried them for a while, didn't like them, no longer do them - because i agree that they felt insincere and icky.

i don't hold my chapters to ransom - i think there's one instance in my 11 (!!) years on wattpad, and 5 years of writing for the tannies that I've delayed an update because a vote goal hadn't been met.

but like you say, views aren't an accurate way of measuring engagement. votes are.

to me, a vote is a considered effort that readers will make to say 'yeah, i liked this', without needing to comment or interact on a big level. asking for people who read hours worth of your hard work for free to simply press a little star at the end of a chapter isn't a greedy ask, in my opinion.

so why do i care about the ratio?

because when i used to look for stories as a reader, it was something i glanced at to see if the views aligned with the quality. a good ratio indicates good writing. it's as simple as that.

on a personal level - i don't actually care. it's not like i sit up at night thinking about it, or obsessively check my stats. i post chapters, read the comments, and that's about it. the vote ratio can be seen at a glance, and even though I'm bad at maths, it's an easy thing to compute lol.

this is the back end of bad decisions. none of the numbers make any sense, really. i'd go mad if i tried to figure it all out. so please don't think I'm sitting here obsessing over the numbers, because I'm not. i wouldn't be able to write if i was.

what i do care about is what you guys think of me. of course i care. i like to think i have a pretty good relationship with my readers, and so it does suck to know that something like this, which you agree is trivial, is enough to make you bitter with me.

i consider myself very lucky when it comes to my readers, but I've also worked damn hard to cultivate my readership. those millions of reads didn't come about just by chance.

it's kind of insulting when you see how much work i put in and know how much i love writing these stories to then be told that i only care about votes. bd alone is the length of 4 standard-sized novels, published for free, written on my own time. you don't do that if you don't write for enjoyment.

so if you think I'm being greedy - when we both know in the grand scheme of things votes mean nothing and will earn me nothing more than a metaphorical pat on the back - then fine, but it's not like you aren't getting fed, either.

vote, or don't vote. it's all just pixels on a screen, at the end of the day.

but please don't insinuate i don't care about my stories.

#ask #some thoughts!#im also a capricorn so to expect me not to care about outward measures of success is like trying to get blood from a stone #you'll never see me mention kudos #or notes #i really don't care #votes on wattpad are my one vice #im only human

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jackiejack8e · 26 days

Text

Tadow

Oh oh I saw her and she hit me like (tadow) Saw that thing so beautiful (tadow) She just hit my heart, oh (tadow) Full force and she got me like (tadow)

This story is about when you met Poison Ivy as kids, also you used to have a crush on her but figured out she was dating someone (That part might be in part two). Warnings: Cussing, violence.

When you were kids, you and Pamela would plant flowers in your backyard or hers. You would plant your favorite flowers in her backyard and she would plant her favorite flowers in your backyard. When the flowers bloomed, you both either leave the flowers on the other's door, leave them in a vase, or hand the flowers to each other.

When you were kids, you would sit in the living room watching the news together. You would tell Pamela how you felt bad for Bruce when it came on the news that Thomas Wayne and Martha Wayne was found dead. Pamela just said, "It is a common occurrence that happens in Gotham."

When you were kids, you would make jokes about how girls obsess over boys who don't even like them. However, Pamela would talk about kissing multiple boys or just falling over for them.

When you were teens, Pamela was the popular girl due to her looks. You didn't know a lot of people or you just didn't want to know anyone. Pamela had over ten boyfriends in one month.

When you were teens, you started to have a crush on Pamela. Every time you see her, your heart starts pumping. When she gets invited to your house, you try to forget your crush on her but it was too strong to forget, and yes, Pamela does know you have a crush on her since you are bad at hiding it.

When you were teens, senior year was ending and you had to move for college. "Do you actually have to go?" Pamela says with a sad face. "Yeah, otherwise, my dream job would be a wasted dream." Pamela gives you a tight hug and wishes you luck, but before you leave, she gives you your favorite flowers.

When you were adults, you have came back to Gotham to surprise your childhood best friend. To your surprise, you go check on your old house to see it was abandoned, not only that, there were rotten flowers there. A newspaper flies into your face and you see something along the lines, 'Batman Strikes Again!', who's Batman?

When you were adults, you decided to work at the asylum your mother used to work at. You get a tour of the patients who is here, most of them is beyond what you had learned in college. Asking questions about how is it possible that these creatures are like this.

When you were adults, you were not aloud to go near the dangerous patients due to you being new. You had to check in on the patients once in a while, feed them if they get extra hungry, and make sure they aren't trying to kill someone.

A week passed, and your friend, Lola, couldn't come due to her being extra sick, so you had to cover for her. Which made your job ten times harder than it used to be, since you had to go to the zone you weren't allowed to go in. You walked into the dangerous part of the asylum, one by one you got to meet the patients and introduce yourself.

The first one a girl who had blonde pigtails, a revealing nurse outfit, and some makeup on, her name is Harleen Quinzell. A tall man with a mask was next, his name is Eduardo Dorrance. Then John Doe, Oswald Cobblepot, Victor Fries, Victor Zsasz, and last but not least, Pamela Isley.

#Poison Ivy x Reader #Female Reader #Lesbian #pamela isley #Poison Ivy #jackiejack8e

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ystrike1 · 1 year

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Not Knowing The Betrayal Of That Day - By Honey Water (6.5/10)

Sometimes a mistake isn't something forgivable. Our protagonist here rushes into a decision hastily. It ruins her life, and her lover's life. He doesn't forgive her, but he also can't forget her, because she's a beautiful woman. He's been obsessed with her for years, and after a seven year separation he returns to restart the most toxic relationship ever.

I'm just gonna say it. The art is not great. I have cherry picked the best panels, and they aren't stellar. This is a cheap webtoon adaption of a novel. Nothing more.

This is Tesa. She is an incredible beauty who lives in an orphanage run by manipulative assholes. She has a lover named Hert. He wants to be a knight, and her dream is to become a respectable maid.

She receives a golden opportunity. There's a very peculiar noblewoman. She's looking for a maid with red hair. Red hair is very rare. Maids who work for nobles also get paid more. That noble family is also looking for knight apprentices, so Hert can go with her. They lure her in with that bait. Money, and a chance to live a stable life with Hert. Tesa is an orphan with no cash, so this is an incredible opportunity.

She signs a paper, but she cannot read.

Tesa is a foolish girl. A stupid, uneducated, peasant.

The noble woman in question needed a body double. There's a nearly senile baron that lives nearby. The red haired noblewoman is still young and beautiful. She doesn't want to end up with a weird madman, but he wants her. He keeps annoying her family. So she came up with a plot. The man is crazy and dumb as a stump. He'll accept any beautiful woman with red hair.

Thankfully there is a timeskip. The baron accepts her because she is pretty, but he thinks she is stupid. She doesn't get a teacher. After three years she still cannot read, and obviously she's in a non-consensual relationship with an unstable man. So, she's miserable.

She also thinks Hert is dead.

Hert was sold as a Gladiator Slave. This kind of slave is used as cannon fodder in war, and entertainment during peacetime. Tesa signed his life away by complete accident, but Hert believes she sold him to prove her loyalty to the Baron. After all, what woman wouldn't want to marry a Baron. Tesa no longer has to work, and she wears fine clothes every day because of her marriage. Hert was also sold to ensure that Tesa stays by the Barons side. She had no real friends in the orphanage. Hert was the only possible issue. The only person who would have questioned her disappearance. The noblewoman who planned all this is very clever. I hope she's a villain later!

Tesa hates every day of her life. She thinks Hert died, so she's listless. She has nothing to fight for. Nobody cares about her. She is just a pretty face that stands next to the Baron. The Baron also doesn't think she's good enough for him, so that leads to...yeah Tesa suffers. It's all offscreen but she's a very broken person. Her eyes have zero life left in them.

Ok so Hert returns??? He's alive and he has fancy armor. He massacres everyone in the Baron's castle. Even innocent people like the maids and cooks. Tesa is Hert's prey.

He wants to know why. Why did she betray him? They were best friends and sweet almost lovers. They adored eachother. Tesa claimed to want him, and he wanted her even more. He killed the Baron because he should be by her side. They were supposed to be together. He can't imagine her with someone else, despite her betrayal.

Tesa isn't mentally stable so she just cries. Hert almost rapes her, and she tells him to kill her. She just wants to die. It's all so stupid. She lost everything because she couldn't read a piece of paper. It's so...arbitrary. Her life was nothing to the people around her. She doesn't tell him the truth. She curls up in a ball and she cries. I think maybe Hert is taking over the Baron's land. He was completely incompetent after all. It's likely that this was Hert's plan all along. He was sweet in the beginning, but he's clearly obsessed with Tesa. She was supposed to be the prize at the end of his journey. He thought she was a spoiled noble wife...but then he finds her...and she's a shattered mess that can't even speak straight.

This is a really sad story. I would rate it higher if the art wasn't mass produced passionless junk...

#yandere #male yandere #yandere male #yandere boy #recommendations #recs #rec #recommended #webtoon #Not Knowing The Betrayal Of That Day

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sketching-shark · 1 year

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Do you like the sun and moon allegory that the show push for swk n LEMH n to a lesser extent how the fandom r pushing it futher by including mk as the star??

I dont rlly get why that of all symbolisms gets to b hammer in the most. My feelings for it is v much went from neutral to dislike bc it box in swk into this sorta narrative that ‘oh things were easy for him n hes so bright!” And oh poor macaque he got stuck in the shadows of swk bc he the moon! Like huh?? Definitely didn’t spurred me bc of how some ppl were quick to equate “sun” as what it mean in sun wukong name.

I just rlly don’t like this inclusion to the whole LEMH v SWK. I got more to say but this just it for rn soo thoughts?

Monkie Kid spoilers below

asdfrgerwredsff well as the local "guy who gets stupid angry at how completely western canon and fanon refuses to engage with the og classic true & false monkey king arc" I can't say I'm a fan anon. And yeah the automatic equation of the "Sun" in Sun Wukong to the English word "sun" was a bit goofy if understandable at first (we all work under particular assumptions based on the cultures and languages we were raised in after all), but now in a lot of ways it seems to stand as one more example of how many people in a dominant culture won't take the time to even do a quick google search to see what a word's meaning in its original context was.

But aside from that I personally don't feel like this sun and moon allegory & the underlying insistence on a close relationship is doing either Sun Wukong, the Six-Eared Macaque, or even Qi Xiaotian any favors...I've given my thoughts about this in other posts, but a quick summary is that even though Monkie Kid appears to have veered away sharply from the interpretation of the Six-Eared Macaque as a living manifestation of SWK's worst aspects and made him more of an independent character, his ongoing violent obsession with the Monkey King still means he has basically 0% traits or things in his life that aren't defined by SWK in some form or another. Everything from his apparent goals to his artistic expression is focused on the Monkey King, and given how thoroughly he hates him in the show's present well that is not a good situation for anyone to be in. In regards to SWK himself, the decision to give his and LEMH's relationship more importance through pushing the sun and moon allegory also has been a pretty big part in the presentation of the Monkey King as a worse and worse of a person. Because in Monkie Kid LEMH was originally introduced as an antagonist, but the route that's been chosen partially to make him more sympathetic was to repeatedly frame SWK as a betraying power-hungry bastard, just like LEMH claimed in his shadow puppet play. So now it's like we started with an image of SWK as genuinely heroic, but as he keeps making disastrous calls in the present and and information about his past comes out it's like him as a sun wasn't so much about providing life-giving warmth as it was about blinding and burning everyone around him, with the show itself being like "psych! turns out SWK lies all the time. psych! his plan to stop the Lady Bone Demon was indeed hot garbage. psych! actually all he ever does is hurt those who loved and trusted him. psych! it's been hinted that even Qi Xiaotian in his deepest and darkest truths is now convinced that SWK is nothing but an agent of chaos & destruction & he's terrified he'll turn out just like him." And then of course Qi Xiaotian is there having been repeatedly traumatized not just by the main big bads but also by LEMH repeatedly beating him up and also by the disastrous consequences of SWK's carelessness & bad judgment. So. Lmao.

Now of course I need to note that there's still a lot of unanswered questions about what precisely happened in the past from SWK's perspective, whose answers may indeed help clear up this toxic morass that is the current dynamic between SWK, LEMH, and Qi Xiaotian. And chances are good I'm forgetting more positive stuff or making the context appear worse than it actually is. Even so, I think you can point to the "the hero and the warrior were like the sun and the moon" as being one of the main starting points for the "SWK actually sucks and LEMH is the main victim of his terribleness" thesis that seems pretty popular in fandom and increasingly in canon. Again, I might just be carrying too much of a negative nancy pessimism about all of this, and of course it must be acknowledged that the overall situation is more complicated, but at least to me as it currently stands the sun and moon allegory seems to have not accomplished much except flip the "good" and "evil" designations between SWK and LEMH (X_X)

#monkie kid #monkie kid spoilers #anon answered

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poopyballz28 · 1 year

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Collection of poopyballz28 baki idea's and thoughts

While I get back into writing, I thought I'd compile a bunch of stupid thoughts that aren't worth having their own post. This is a pretty long one so please laugh. Also ignore that Kiyosumi rant I don't know what got into me guys i swear

-poopyballz28

remembering, like, a year and a half ago when I described Kaoru as being built like a garage door. Never forget. I even liked him back then, I DONT EVEN LIKE HIM NO MORE! He's a meanie fo feenie i dunno, the karate boys are better.

me (number one kiyosumi katou fanboy and knower) watching other writers write kiyosumi falling in love with a woman and being super sexually dominate and it freaking me out because I have been blowing his back out in my brain for like 2 years:

I feel like I don't stress enough how genuinely submissive Kiyosumi is. I don't really write a whole lot of nsfw generally but JESUS CHRIST GUYS LOOK AT HIM. His build is insane where are you guys missing this. Women don't see the visions like I do. They just...cant see it. Perhaps I am too bara obsessed but no...I know the truth about his character...I would know...I'm the number one Kiyosumi Katou fan.....I know....

It's not even JUST his body, ITS HIS WHOLE CHARACTER. uptight, spunky, ego maniacal karate fighter that's super fucked up in the head who puts on this tough, intimidating act but behind closed doors he's a timid, embarrassed, submissive little dick taking asshole with issues that have gone unchecked FOR OH SO LONG. GRAAAHHH nobody sees him as i do ohhhh the LONELINESS how it pains me

yeah sorry guys for...all of that. lets move on to actually funny interesting stuff I thought of.

I was never much of a sporty, working out type of guy so I guess I wouldn't really understand, but whats up with all gym bro Baki fans being obsessed with and idolizing Yujiro and Jack. I just, don't see the appeal. One is a serial rapist and murderer AS WELL as a dead beat father and the other is just a drug abuser. How is that motivating to you people. Why obsess over the virgin Hanma's when you can obsess over the chad karate boys?! But its okay, because I KNOW these people are probably mentally ill, so that's why one day I'm going to open up a HOSPITAL. And a REHABILITATION CENTER for all deranged gym bro Baki fans. Please send funds via my cashapp, $kiyosumiballsucker3000. (thats not a real cashapp guys im trying to be funny)

I'm into REAL characters, that are actually interesting and cool, such as, 56 year old karate veteran and his three autistic and/or mentally ill sons, british, silly highschool girl who causes problems for no one, and not to forget, incredibly (and probably accidentally) gay coded kukendo man who apparently nobody cares about but me. That's right, I'm a REAL Baki fan.

Wondering when I'll expand on that Kureha and Kosho visual-kei band idea. Just THINK ABOUT IT. Kureha on vocals (and perhaps guitar) and Kosho on bass and bg vocals. IMAGINE. Kosho wears beautiful goth makeup and is rocking that deep shade of purple lipstick, AS THINGS SHOULD BE. I will never forgive Itagaki and the anime for removing it. It's just, never gonna happen. The two are in these, fucking, elaborate and gorgeously made outfits christ I'm a fucking genius. Kosho would 1000% wear an elegant (but still incredibly badass) lacy, vkei dress, looking like that fucking mana-sama guy (ourple edition) Ohhhh dude. I need to write some more for this idea.

To all my hardcore artist followers, if y'all want to draw v-kei Kosho and Kureha, I give you free reign over the idea, do your magic.

Wouldn't it be fucking hilarious if Yujiro died from like, the most random, insignificant thing in the world.

He's the strongest man- no, creature, in this world. He can brutally defeat animals larger than half his size with his bare hands. He can stop (and probably start) earthquakes at will. He died of a urinary track infection at 37.

Talking specifically about the english speaking fandom here, why do you think Katsumi is so overlooked and underrated. LOOK AT HIM. He is genuinely (I'm serious here) one of the most attractive manga characters I have ever seen in my life. Not only that but he's been through several arcs and has been included in a large amount of fights, HE'S PRETTY MUCH A MAIN CHARACTER YET NOBODY REALLY CARES ABOUT HIM!?! HOW!? On both sides of the fandom, Wattpad girls barely write fanfiction with him involved (thank god actually) and the gym bro's barely make their shitty edits of him (DOUBLE thank god) It's just so confusing to me. He's everything I've ever wanted in a character. Ever-growing strength and morals, an adorable and lovable face, a kind but fierce personality, and not to mention that sweet, sweet rack. Gorgeous pair of tits. Absolutely stunning. need to bend him over.

You ever just be reading a Y/N x Baki nsfw fanfiction and they mischaracterize Baki...in like every conceivable way. This guy DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT SEX IS. BARELY. How are you people so clouded by horniness you completely forget his character. He's an awkward little boy, why are they writing him like a flirtatious sex god?! Baki doesn't know what fucking "flirting" is, he's an idiot. He wouldn't freaking "punish" you in the bedroom guys, if he did he'd be so awkward and stumbling over every other word. AND STOP MAKING HIM SAY SUCH VULGAR THINGS YOU FUCKING FREAKS. Baki doesn't know what "eating out" means, he doesn't say curse words often and most of all, he doesn't. understand. sex. He's had sex ONCE with his wonderful girlfriend and they both barely understood what the fuck they were doing ☠️

How about you guys write him like how he actually is. Wouldn't it be adorable if there was an x reader with Baki where you two have like, loving but awkward sex for the first time and you try to guide him and help him understand in a wholesome way!? Wouldn't that be so much more true to character AND unique?? God, I have to do everything around here. Fuck.

Katsumi playing basketball and pointing at you and going "This ones for you, babe." then completely missing the shot.

Have I ever brought up that Kureha childhood headcanon where I think Kureha would find (or even kill) small creatures just to do little experiments on them and dig in their guts. Kosho walks in like "Nii-chan 🙁 what are you doing..."

Another Shinogi brother hc, I think it'd be hilarious if that blackish-brownish color of Kosho's hair isn't actually his natural hair color, and his real hair color is the same as Kureha's. THINK ABOUT IT THOUGH. He want's to be different from Kureha so he dyes it every now and then to differentiate himself. Plus he thinks it looks totally cool. Sometimes you can see his blonde/orange roots when his hair grows out. And yes, Kureha does tease him about this sometimes. Kosho fucking hates it.

Now that I'm thinking about it, Kureha teases Kosho about, like, everything. His v-kei obsession, his dyed hair, his fighting, everything. Not really a cute or funny headcanon either ☠️ Kureha is literally just a manipulative and judgemental asshole. I whole-heartedly believe that to be true. And in a way it is, I mean he is pretty much canonically like that. Kosho doesn't deserve this. Love that little goth guy, he deserves more.

Thanks for reading all this goofy goober shit all the way through. I'll probably be working on something else by the time you're reading this, so be prepared for content. Love you guys 👍

#why did i sign my own post #i need to KILL MYSELF #sorry guys #kiyosumi katou #katou kiyosumi #baki the grappler #baki dou #grappler baki #baki hanma #baki son of ogre #baki headcanons #baki x reader #orochi katsumi #katsumi orochi #kureha shinogi #kosho shinogi

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gingerbreadmonsters · 1 year

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return to me

or: learning, growing, walking hand in hand.

gn!reader, no content warnings except blake-typical creepiness, some yandere-flavoured obsessive goodness. in the emptiness of night, you’re all he sees. look. i had a lovely little idea for blake that was all ready to go - he was going to get a nice day out with his listener, i was going to humanise him, show that he's not all bad… and now look what he's done! well. this is what you get for crossing me. enjoy your grapes, mr blake. i hope they're sour. a big big thank you to my love @haradasaya for proofreading! 💕💕 limerence, inspired by R.E.M.’s nightswimming and fe3h: cindered shadows chapter 6. the moon is low tonight. blake being left in awe in just over 2400 words.

There are very few beautiful things in the world, anymore.

(Some, but not many.)

Beauty is, unfortunately, a vanishing art. Everywhere, all around, at every moment the world becomes more and more diseased, more and more dull. The earth turns to rot, the water turns to scum, and beauty is swallowed by oblivion.

It's simply a fact of the universe. Entropy. All things tend towards their own destruction.

You might argue, of course. You might say, of course not! There are plenty of beautiful things out there still - all kinds of places and creatures and objects. There's a whole universe full of things out there! And everyone has different ideas of what's beautiful anyway, so how can you even measure how many beautiful things there are in the world to begin with?

Well then, if you did say that, you would be met with disbelief, probably. A look, incredulous, that tells you don't be stupid, honey. Not all things are beautiful, and there are some things that aren't beautiful to anyone. I ought to know.

You see, there are some very special people who just understand the order of things. Who just feel it, the natural order of the world, the way things are supposed to be. A feeling that can't be taught, but cultivated - a feeling that Blake, himself, is learning at this very moment to know and comprehend.

And because he's one of these precious few, one of those fortunate enough to have been shown the truth, he knows. Humans have always been funny about extinction and the loss of things. Take and take and take until there's almost nothing left, then either praise its survival as a miracle, or grieve its final death as gone too soon. He knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, how rare and precious beauty truly is these days. Something reserved only for the most unique, most particular, most wondrous of things.

There is an order in the world, he has learnt. All things that do exist must exist within the laws of the world that allows them to be, and those laws dictate exactly where they fall in that great hierarchy of being that natural existence requires. That is to say, in all the world, there can only be one thing that is the most beautiful. Only one thing that stands above the rest, a single prize that puts all else to shame.

Is it any wonder, then, that he holds you so dear?

It's true, I'm telling you, he would say, if you laughed. You'd probably laugh. Entirely uncaring, unaware of the gospel that he imparts to you, and yet so utterly charming in your blissful ignorance. Everything has its order, everything has its place. Not everything can be beautiful to everyone, and some things aren’t beautiful to anyone at all. Seriously.

You might stare at him, incredulous, disbelieving. Yeah, right. How can you say that? It’s impossible. Where do heads end and necks begin?

Very well, trickster god, he would say, taking your challenge head-on. The museum is quiet, nobody there but the two of you. Let me explain it a different way.

Take a map from the display stand, take a badge from the visitors’ information desk. Exhibition hall is up the steps straight in front of you, and don’t forget to exit through the gift shop. The explanation wouldn’t be very complicated. You’d have no trouble understanding if he helped you.

Let’s start at the beginning. The most basic. All things that exist must exist, right? The criteria for being 'a thing that exists' is 'it must exist'. And if it exists, then it must have properties of some sort. Physical or metaphysical, it must have some sort of properties that distinguish it from all of the other 'things that exist'. Otherwise, all 'things that exist' would by definition be identical, because they would have no defining qualities to separate them from each other, as 'existing' is their only quality. Does that make sense?

You’d nod. I… think so? Never took you for the existential type. The tourist map creases in your hand as he leads you across the main museum floor..

So, we now know that all things that exist have at least one property that defines them as separate to everything else that exists. All of them must possess a unique combination of properties that distinguishes them from every other thing, in order to exist as a single, discrete thing. Look around you. Everything you see, every individual thing, is different. Colour, shape, size, volume, weight, material, age, spatial location - no two things are the same. In the whole universe, there can be no two truly identical things.

You’d look a bit more unsure on that bit, but he’d power through. It’ll all make sense in a minute.

If no two things can be truly identical, then surely it stands to reason that all things can be categorised. Can be ordered. By some measure, by some means, all things can be sorted. No two things can draw with one another, there’s no need for tiebreakers - one by one, all things must stand in line. If you can differentiate all things, then you must be able to put them into distinct categories.

It makes sense, right?

Each thing can fit into several different categories at the same time, but my point still stands. If you can put them into categories and they’re still unique - as we already know they must be - then you must be able to categorise them again. Over and over, smaller and smaller boxes, until everything fits neatly into place. Until everything is in order.

Hmm. You probably wouldn’t look convinced. Not to worry, it’s not that important just yet. The first time is always the hardest.

Leaning over a display case, examining the contents, your breath might mist on the cool glass. But what about things you can’t see? Things you can’t touch? Things that not everybody experiences the same way? Like feelings, or colours, or sensations. Which colour is the best? Which rollercoaster is the most fun? You can’t put them all in order. There’s no empirical way to do so. Your theory falls apart.

Does it? Your point is fair, considering that you don’t know any of the metaphysics at play here yet. If you could feel those feelings forever, you’d be able to compare them. It’s true, you can’t capture the best moment of a rollercoaster in a bottle. But if you could, wouldn’t that let you sort them just like anything else?

You’d open your mouth to retort, but he’d beat you to it. He always does.

We don’t have the means to do that, of course. But theoretically, if it were possible to measure every moment of your life - and it is, we just don’t know how to do it yet - then you’d be able to break them down to their base components. And once you’ve done that? Well. The only thing left to do is order. The only thing left at all is order.

You’d shake your head. Gently, he’d hold your chin as he repositioned your audio guide from where it would be about to slip.

You always sound so cute when you think you’re right. But everyone feels things differently, and not everyone will feel the same about the same things. If you’re terrified of rollercoasters, you won’t call them fun at all, but if you love them then you’ll say they’re the most fun you’ve ever had. By your logic, all people will have different categorisations for different things, which necessarily means that there can be no single universally applicable categorisation for everything.

Oh, you’d look so proud of yourself, voice echoing in the corridor as he holds the door to the next gallery open for you. Checkmate.

You poor thing. If only, little trickster god. You put up a good fight, but alas - the metaphysical theory behind it disproves you.

But h-

We can talk about it later, dear. He’d pretend to examine the object label on the wall to your left, brushing off your misplaced concern - you don’t really need to hear him explain all that. Far too boring, far too dense and dull. A singular waste of time and effort, especially considering how precious little time he gets to spend with you as it is.

Marble and varnished wood and wrought iron. The museum is vast and full of fascinating things. Easily enough to fill an afternoon and then some. Take your time.

Walk with him.

Beauty, it is said, is in the eye of the beholder. Blake disagrees. Whoever said that had clearly never met you. It’s difficult to understand, and harder to accept, but the black-and-white of it is undeniable - surely someone has to be the one to know. Surely there must be someone who bears the precious burden of truth. Eight million people. Why shouldn’t it be him?

(Perhaps he’s biased. Forgive him. He is, after all, only human.)

Ugliness and filth and corruption. How is it that you stand above it all? So perfectly ordinary, yet more than he could ever hope to imagine. Circumstance tries to destroy you, time and time again - maybe you realise, maybe you don’t. It doesn’t matter. He knows, and as long as he’s here, you will always be protected. What’s the point of power if you can’t protect the things you love? You are beautiful, it's true - but weak, naïve, deprived of the knowledge of the world that you so desperately need, bereft of the guiding hand of truth. A flimsy, delicate creature. A precious, fragile soul. Nothing more than a butterfly, wandering blithely towards a hurricane. Blake has always been handy with a net.

(Nobody could deny it. Say what you will about Blake, but he's never been the type to take things for granted.)

It’s one thing, to have been shown the realisation of ruin. It’s another, to rally against it. Don’t you understand? He had to go away, to leave you lonely for a while, but it wasn’t his fault. He had to know the truth, and the truth is painful, the learning even more so. What man wouldn’t feel lonely, without you by his side? You’ve spoilt him with your presence, and in your absence a plan was made. Well, perhaps not made. Finalised. Solidified. Crystallised. The seed of the feeling has always been there, ever since you met - at last, it was time to water you, each tiny drop by his own careful hand.

The old Blake, that helpless, stupid creature - now remade in the dawning of the new day, baptised in the ocean of righteousness. The architect of his own future, and now yours too. Truth is truth is truth, and the audio guide in your ear speaks with his voice.

After all, who did you think made this place?

The victorious curator, hand in hand with his prize exhibit. Your frozen form, lovingly suspended in smooth resin, falling eternally but never hitting the ground. It’s all dedicated to you, it’s all for you, every shelf and hook and souvenir postcard. Would you call it greedy? Would you call it selfish? What is an archive, if not for the preservation of the collector? What is a museum, if not a prison cell of the past? Wall to wall, every facet of your being shimmers under the light. Every smile, every breath, every eyelash that you've ever wished on, kept forever in endless magnificence. If he’s selfish, so be it. His most glorious altar, and the god to which it is dedicated.

Turn up the volume of the audio guide, darling. Are you listening?

(It's funny, he guesses. He spends all this time waxing poetic about how all things are unique and special in the universe, in a world that doesn't even really exist. At least, not to anyone else. If it looks real, seems real, feels real - how are you meant to know the difference? Some people are just born lucky, and how fortunate, then, that he is the way he is. Puppets very rarely know the faces of their masters, and Blake has always been gentle with your strings.)

High ceilings catch the echo. This place, his greatest gift to the one he loves more than all else. Galleries go on forever and the cinema room plays an endless loop. People like to have weddings in museums, don't they? The sky outside is bright and white and nothing at all, and nighttime means nothing to a world that cannot end.

Look at you. Oh, just look at you. Encased in glass, resting gently on your wire skeleton, arm outstretched towards the skylight. Submerged in vinegar, no bubbles, leaning your head against the side of your big glass jar. Ice crystals glitter on your frozen tongue, marble fabric hangs immobile from your granite shoulder, familiar pairs of painted eyes gaze across the exhibition floor. You’re right behind him. You’re all around him. Every wall, every case, every frame - your lovely form fills them all. All things are equal on the altar of his adoration and he is your greatest disciple, raising the knife up in his hands and swearing on your name that he will bring you back to life. Watch over him, bless him, smile upon him. Just you wait. One last miracle.

Butterfly nets on every window. If you love it, never let it go. Here, you have always been perfectly preserved.

If only, if only, if only. The rest of the world would be so much simpler if that, too, were in his hands. The chosen one, with you eternally his first choice. As it is, he surveys his domain - marble stretches leisurely out in front of him, and a gilded ceiling hides the panicked wings tangled in the mesh, fluttering mournfully just outside his field of view. Sunsets come and go, the audio guide sings and sings, and the dust never settles.

Flesh and stone and the unending centuries of you. He kneels before you, kisses your hand, gazes into your eyes. The sound of church bells rings throughout the universe. Here, he doesn’t have to wonder. As ever, your devotee.

(It is said that the statue of a saint might speak to a believer. What are dreams for, if not the realisation of miracles?)

Tell me, honey. Your smile is as beautiful as ever. Do you think this is real?

Maybe, this time, you’ll reply.

masterlist

this is an original work by @gingerbreadmonsters - please do not repost or misattribute

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redacted blake #redacted angst #redacted closeknit #ginger writes #gingerbreadmonsters

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