#but what a society we live in... we only acknowledge one...

[mithrun-house-of-kerensil]

Lately, I've been thinking about Mithrun and the ways he is dehumanized in canon.

Before I get started, we know that elven society is incredibly afraid of death and illness. This is obvious in how they look down on the short lived races and see them as weak and childlike. We also know that Mithrun himself had ableist views toward his brother and these values did not leave him once he, himself, became disabled. He is a product of the society that raised him, but I also think how Mithrun is currently being treated contributes to his view of himself.

Mithrun has had three different caretaking groups over the years. The first are the ones his brother hired for him. From what we can see, they did the job, but we can understand that they did not know what to do with him. No one had ever recovered from having their desires eaten so the focus was less on rehabilitation and more on keeping him alive.

Later we see Milsiril take an interest in him because of his desire to return to the dungeon. Since she did not bother to visit him for decades after finding him, we can assume that there is an ulterior motive here. Timeline-wise, this was when the majority of the canaries had just been wiped out. They needed more men, and Mithrun is set up to be the perfect single-focused soldier.

Honestly, we can assume that Milsiril doesn't really care about him or see him as a person. Mithrun is just a new project for her to play with. We can see this in how she's focused on superficial level concerns like the fact that he doesn't look nice and wanting him to be overly grateful toward her. She also talks about him like he's not in the room and can't hear her. This is a dehumanizing trait shared by many characters when talking about Mithrun.

When he finally does recover enough to return to the canaries, the military does not make any effort to accommodate his needs. We know the canaries are understaffed and the ethics are already bad, but they really did not even try to care about Mithrun's safety at all.

Entrusting a criminal with his care was questionable at best, especially when Cithis immediately took the opportunity to abuse her power over him and no one stopped her.

While acknowledging the light-hearted nature of the manga, it's uncomfortable that Mithrun was treated like a child and an animal by Cithis for her amusement. Regardless of her 'learning to respect him' later, the point is that Mithrun was taken advantage of and degraded because she believed he couldn't say no. No one bothered to do anything about this until Pattadol yelled at her.

Truly his treatment is summarized well by Milsiril here. Mithrun is extremely vulnerable to being abused by those taking care of him because he won't advocate for himself. He has one desire so he won't fight for himself in any other way.

It is obvious that Mithrun was not treated well by his caretakers and this has resulted in him identifying his needs through a disconnected and frankly, infantilizing lens.

I understand that it may have been a translator's decision, but I always thought it was interesting that Mithrun says that he's "not sleepy" which is a childish term. Otherwise, he speaks like everyone else, if not rather posh.

This, followed by the fact that he is responsive to Kabru treating him like a literal infant to get him to eat, paints a clear picture of the fact that Mithrun is not unfamiliar with being treated like this. He responds to it because he's used to it and has no desire to argue with being treated this way. When we consider the fact that the chapter started with Milsiril treating an older child Kabru in the same way, it is likely that she also did the same thing to Mithrun when he was under her care.

In these panels, we see that Mithrun does not believe that he can sleep without magical assistance, even though it is immediately refuted when Kabru takes the time to bundle him up and help him relax. Not only does he fully believe he can't sleep without external assistance, but he states directly that there is no point in him getting comfortable.

As Kabru observes, Mithrun's inability to recognize his needs applies to needs such as hunger and exhaustion, but it obviously also applies to emotional needs. Kabru just wanting to feed him something delicious and not wanting him to give up on life is the most consideration someone has given Mithrun in years.

The relationship they form over the course of a single week is enough to shape Mithrun's behaviour completely. Mithrun ignores Cithis's demand in favour of asking Kabru's opinion. It is Kabru's hand Mithrun takes to pull him out of his defeated state. It is Kabru Mithrun confessed his true desire to.

Do you realize how depressing that is? All it took was the new perspectives from Kabru and Senshi to make him consider the fact that he should keep living despite no longer needing to fulfill his duty. Being treated well could have helped Mithrun much sooner and this shift in the way he sees himself contributes to his recovery going forward.

TLDR: Mithrun has no desire to be respected, but why does that make people feel comfortable acting like he doesn't deserve it? Someone not caring about being treated well doesn't give you permission to treat them poorly. This feels like a playschool-level consent lesson: just because he's not saying no to a humiliating or degrading act doesn't mean it's a yes and therefore okay to do. Acknowledging this is the bare minimum of treating him as a person.

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi spoilers #delicious in dungeon spoilers #mithrun dungeon meshi #kabru dungeon meshi #cithis dungeon meshi #milsiril dungeon meshi #there's way too much nuance to get into in a single post #but i wanted to try to get some of my thoughts out #it is like 2am though so maybe it's all nonesense #my post

[italoniponic]

you know there's something really unexpected about the tweels when Floyd's masterchef groovy looks more composed and sane than Jade's but so does every other masterchef groovy at this point tbh

#twisted wonderland #floyd leech #jade leech #both of them share a psychotic braincell #it's mutual and it's there #but what a society we live in... we only acknowledge one... #lmaooo #cherry's mumbling about twst

[lightning-system]

As a medium/lower support needs autistic who works with young higher support needs autistic:

We all matter. We all have the same diagnosis. We all deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.

But we are not the same.

I can mask and might be seen as 'odd' or 'weird' in public. The students I work with are seen as 'dangerous' and 'practically little kids'.

I can go to university and work with accommodations. The students I work with likely will never live independently and a few might find jobs that support them but still pay them less than an abled worker.

I have full control of my finances. The students I work with aren't allowed to make independent financial decisions, even if capable.

If I say 'no,' I'm making a choice. The students I work with can't say 'no' without being labeled as defiant and difficult.

I can feed myself, bathe myself, and take care of myself with extreme challenges. The students I work with are unable to take care of themselves without high levels of support/one on one support.

I had an IEP in high school but was mainstreamed in classes. The students I work with take separate classes and some rarely get to interact with their abled peers.

Our experiences are fundamentally different. Higher support needs autistics will experience a specific type of ableism I never will, and can never fully understand.

Lower support needs autistics need to stop saying we understand what higher support needs autistics are going through and then present autism as only being disabling because of society/lack of acceptance because that is dangerous. We need to stop saying every autistic person is capable of everything if given the right support because that leaves out huge parts of our community who will never be able to do certain things, regardless of support.

We are worthy of existence regardless of our abilities.

Autism is a spectrum. It is not the same for every autistic person. Autism acceptance and advocacy has to come with accepting, acknowledging, and listening to our higher support needs peers.

#disabled #disability #actually autistic #autism #low support needs #medium support needs #high support needs #autistic pride #advocacy #acceptance #lightning rambles #important

[whetstonefires]

One thing I don't think I've ever seen talked about is how post-apocalypse ideation is largely about homelessness.

Homelessness looms large in the American consciousness. Like, not that it's irrelevant elsewhere, but it's got a particular cultural place in the US that's reflected in Hollywood, and therefore relevant because what makes it into film and TV sets the terms of so many conversations.

We don't acknowledge it if we can help it, but I think most people know they're never more than a few very bad months from winding up there.

Even people who are sure it only happens to people who deserve it, who fuck up and put one foot in the morass of their own foolish volition. Even they know the quicksand is there, waiting to be walked into, and that the odds are stacked against ever climbing out on your own once you have. And that they, too, are capable of fucking up. Of trusting the wrong person. Of getting cancer incorrectly.

And those of us who know damn well we can't be sure we're safe even if we do everything right, we know it even better.

And in that sense it doesn't matter what the world would realistically look like after X kind of apocalypse, what people would do, how society would adapt. Because the anxiety that's being processed is about the reality that's in existence now.

About what if my world ends. And I lose access to the fruits of developed society, to clean clothes and new glasses and running water, to a safe place to sleep where I don't expect to be killed or robbed, or driven out by men with guns and dogs. To my home and work and family and everything I usually use to tell me who I am.

What if every man's hand is against me, and every meal is a small victory, and there's only my own dwindling strength between me and the long night?

Will I make it? Will I hold up under the strain? Will I retain my dignity? Will I be lucky? Will I be able to protect the people I love, in that world, the world where no one is protecting us anymore?

Is there a way to continue to live as a human person, when you're denied the prerogatives of one, and don't know if you'll ever get them back?

Putting this anxiety into the context of a massive apocalypse divorces this scenario from the burden of shame tied up in the idea of winding up in that sort of situation in the normal course of events, by having society vanish rather than expel you, personally, as a washout, and continue on around you.

It also allows you to rule out a priori the question of what resources might be offered but can't in an anticipatory context be counted on; shelters and programs and housed friends and family who may or may not help. And narrow the narrative to only the question of what you can survive, and often a fairy tale about surviving all of it and starting over.

Rehearsing for a loss in a mythologized format is a very normal anxiety processing behavior, and I think a lot of apocalypse scenario building is attached to the buried dread of that personal apocalypse. But I haven't seen that one make the list.

#hoc est meum #homelessness #apocalypse #post-apocalypse fiction

[paragonrobits]

i was just thinking about how in later Discworld books, even as its an unspoken understanding among everyone in Ankh-Morpork that Carrot is the King of the city and he's probably the last descendant of the original ruling line, not only does Carrot avoid pushing the narrative to exploit it unless absolutely necessary, but it never de-emphasizes the fact that he's a dwarf by adoption

Even in later books Carrot is still regularly writing letters to his family in their mine; he thinks of himself as a dwarf, he is CONSIDERED to be a dwarf by all except the most hardliners of dwarf society (and even they can't outright deny him dwarf status, the best they can do is say he is an anomaly); he might USE his narrative status as the One True King, but in his heart, to himself, he is still the child of the Ironfounderssons.

His human heritage is functionally irrelevant to him unless he needs to make use of it, much like his ancestral sword. And it occured to me, what if he actively chose to distance himself from his human heritage because he learned about them in later books and found nothing worth acknowledging?

Carrot is in a weird place because he is the One True King, a narrative status that makes him the good and wise king who knows only truth and justice and comes bringing goodness to all, and this is quite a contrast to the ACTUAL kings of Ankh-Morpork, who were universally at BEST a bunch of horribly useless and inept absolute rulers that are living embodiments of 'the aristocracy are dumber than a sack of doorknobs' the series leans into, and at worst are implcitly some of the most horribly sadistic and cruel people in the setting.

One particular example is Lorenzo the Kind, the last king of Ankh-Morpork, whose name was deliberately ironic; he was so horrifically sadistic that he spelled the end of the kingship because he's the one who was killed by Suffer-Not-Injustice Vimes, who because no one was willing to judge him because kings were considered Special, just dragged him off his throne, cut off his head, and the surviving family members were exiled from the city.

Lorenzo is the last member of Carrot's biological ancestry we have definitive information on, off the top of my head, and he paints a dark, horrific image. He's painted as the absolute nadir of horror from the ruling classes, and is heavily implied to have been a sadistic pedophile with a penchant for torture (at the very least Carrot and Vimes both note that he was apparently fond of children and was painted with a lot of them nearby at all times, discussing it in a way that suggests a DEEPLY uncomfortable topic neither of them wants them to address, and later in Feet Of Clay Vimes points out that Lorenzo had unspecified but horrific machines in the basement).

Carrot is very strongly implied to, at least starting from Men At Arms (in which he discovers he is the king), have investigated his ancestry, and he's able to elaborate on their actions and history, and this also marks the point where he carefully but firmly emphasizes his dwarf heritage for the rest of the series.

He found out who his ancestors were, and discovered they were horrifically evil people, and that Mister Vimes was fully justified in being proud of his ancestor putting them down like rabid beasts, and it leads to him firmly emphasizing that his family are the Ironfoundersson dwarfs.

#discworld #carrot ironfoundersson #analysis #queued

[cripplerage]

I'd like to talk about this:

{Image ID: A cropped screenshot of an online form with a purple background. The question is "What is your gender identity (click all that apply)." The options are "Woman," "Man (disqualify)," "Feminine-Identifying," "Non-Binary," "Transgender," "Unsure," "Prefer not to say," and "Other." The other option has a text box, and they all have unchecked check boxes. End ID.}

This is an application form for an advisory/advocacy group for the intersectionality of woman/female experiences for disabled people. If you somehow figure out WHICH group this is, please do not contact them in any way. I would like to have the opportunity to calmly and politely give my feedback to them, and an accidental harassment campaign would not help. And of course, they're not really doing anything wrong, they're trying their best, etc. my intention with this screenshot is to use it as a learning example.

Here's the thing... They are clearly trying to be inclusive and acknowledging the gender spectrum, but they're acting as if it's a bar that they can just take one half and leave the other. But as a non-binary person who is also sort of a trans-man, who appears fully as a woman and is perceived as a woman by the general public and the healthcare system, this just doesn't seem to work.

For the form I only ticked non-binary, and I listed my pronouns as they/them, when I usually use he/they. And I don't think of this as lying because my gender is a bit fluid, but also I sort of think that it would be my right to lie in this situation because I deserve to participate in this discussion?

I think we as a society seem to forget that most trans men were raised as women, and do have women-aligning experiences. And most of us don't have male privilege, and the few that do have it immediately negated in situations like healthcare. Being transmasc never prevented me from experiencing ableism or medical mysoginy. And I don't know for certain but I imagine some intersex men, even if they're cis, deserve to be part of this conversation, too.

I think what I'm saying applies to more intersectionalities than just disability, but I don't think it's really my place to talk on that. And don't get me wrong, I do think that discussions about feminine intersectionality are important. Here's what it comes down to - I think we need to just let individuals decide for themselves if they are eligible for certain discussions. I don't know for certain what the best way to do this, but I suggest something like the following:

"This group is centred around the experience of intersectionality between femininity and disability. You may be eligible for this group if you are a cis woman, transgender, or intersex."

I'm open to suggestions or feedback on that.

Tl;dr: gender identity and gender experience are different. Someone's gender identity does not necessarily mean that they should be excluded from discussions regarding lived experience of another gender.

#transgender #transandrophobia

[fairuzfan]

Hey, I've read your post reply on the ask about the Standing together movement, and there you mentioned that it's incorrect to separate Palestinians and Jews and create a false dichotomy when speaking about liberating Palestine and anti-occupation movement. Could you please elaborate on that? It's a very interesting take that I haven't heard before yet.

So I generally don't understand why we are separating "Palestinian" and "Jews" with no potential for overlap between the two. By separating them, this implies, fundamentally, that there can be no Jewish Palestinians which... is not true. Just even historically, Jewish Palestinians exist and continue to exist.

Why are they mutually exclusive terms within their mission statement when they wish to "stand together"? And I'm not saying this in a condescending manner, I'm saying this because I know there are Palestinians who live in Israel who insist on being referred to as Palestinian. They won't let their Palestinian identity be erased under any circumstances. But they're the only group at risk of having that happen to them. Jewish people are not at risk of having their Jewishness erased for being Palestinian. So how can it be "standing together" when you acknowledge that there is a divide, societally, between perceptions of identity where one is at risk of total destruction by another and you, yourself, do not risk anything?

Where do Jewish Palestinians fall in this dichotomy, exactly? Does that mean no Palestinian will be able to convert to Judiasm without giving up their Palestinian identity? Are Jewish people just innately separated from Palestinians as a whole? If so, what is the thing that categorizes "Palestinian" in their eyes? Is it their religion? Well it can't be, because Palestinians have a diverse array of religions and like I said, people who identity as Palestinian and Jewish exist and are at risk of having their "Palestinian" erased in favor of their "Jewish" one.

Is it their ethnicity? Also can't be, because there is a vast array of ethnicities within Palestinian society. Unless they mean Palestinian=Arab, which is erasure. It erases Armenian Palestinians who play an integral part in Palestinian culture, for example.

So like what is the separation exactly? How are these mutually exclusive categories and how are we defining them? Unless, which is the reason that underlies all this, you mean to say that there is a difference between people who are Palestinians and people are Jewish innately in some unidentifiable manner?

Now, many Palestinians who have Israeli citizenship are not really subject to equal rights lol. And those rights are taken away *because* they are Palestinian. You have to acknowledge that. So when we say "Jewish and Palestinian" in a mission statement where you intend to """solve""" inequality, you're already setting that distinction in your mind that there is an actual difference between these people. So it's problematic in that vein.

But also, the group doesn't address the systematic abuses Palestinians face for YEARS, even before the Likud government. You can't erase that and attribute it to Netanyahu only. You have to address that the very system of Israel was founded on the mass expulsion and erasure of Palestinians, that includes Palestinian Jews.

But again, we have this dichotomy of "Jewish" and "Palestinian," setting into motion that "Palestinian" is somehow an identity that is separate from "Jewish." And through what definitions are we imposing that difference? Through... race science? Through cultural differences? Well, again, what about people who have cultural overlaps. Like if a nonJewish Palestinian marries a Jewish person who is not Palestinian and their child is growing up with both cultures? What does that mean for them? What does that mean for the two people who got married? And even Jewish Palestinians, are they having to give up their Palestinian side for marrying someone Jewish? Won't that cause further inequality within our groups? Isn't this separation just a nicer worded version of segregation in that way?

We have to acknowledge that it is within the state of Israel's interests, at their core, to separate these two identities. So by playing into this narrative, we're continuing the very colonization of history as they try to rewrite the past, implying that Jewish Palestinians especially were not considered a part of Palestinian culture and werent allowed to partake in it.

And it's just, to me, very racist to assume that there can't be overlap between these two types of people. It's happened in Palestine for centuries. But when Balfour comes in and is like "here you go, Jewish people of European cultural heritage, here is your homeland, nevermind the other people who have customs and traditions here, just do whatever you want and get out of Europe," everyone just nods their head like yeah that's reasonable. They didn't even try to learn Palestinian culture and life they just kicked us out. I'd argue that Palestinians would have welcomed Jewish immigrants who sought a safe homeland, so long as they didn't kick us out and enact nearly a century of violence. Palestine is the holy land for a reason! This land is the convergence of faiths and ideas and culture in such a unique way. Labeling it "Palestine" emphasizes that Palestinians are diverse and allow for an overlap of identities!

Essentially, when you try to separate groups of people like this, particularly when the separation of "Palestinians" (or more commonly referred to as "arabs" in Israeli society. Even our identities are erased to homogenize us) and "Jews," it makes it seem like Palestinians are fundamentally anti-jewish and antisemitic. And historically, just doesn't even make any sense.

#palestine

[blockgamepirate]

This is my petty complaint time, this video annoys me SO MUCH and even more so what annoys me is that the latest comment on it is this:

HE TAUGHT YOU SO MUCH BULLSHIT, PLEASE NO, DON'T LISTEN TO HIM

And yes, I've been thinking about this stream for nearly three years now, I've been meaning to go through it to critique Wilbur's arguments, I just never got around to it

Wilbur: "Tubbo, you've created an anti-state capitalist dystopia"

So all Tubbo had explained so far was that his town had a big company that owned two other big companies. Nothing about the government or anything. It's true that one company owning all the major businesses is pretty dystopian, sure, but I have no idea where Wilbur got the "anti-state" thing from, usually capitalist companies are fine with the existence of states, states do a lot of dirty work for the capitalists

Spoiler alert: Tubbo's city turns out to be pretty much a city state so Wilbur is just wrong anyway, not that he ever acknowledges it even when it does come up

Also it's not like corporate acquisitions are completely unheard of in the UK, as far as I know. Admittedly the UK is also arguably a capitalist dystopia but you know what I mean, the concept shouldn't be all that shocking to Wilbur

He's being so dramatic and trying to make it sound like he's caught Tubbo in a mistake or something. He also keeps asking questions and then not letting Tubbo answer properly before taking like one word Tubbo says and running with it

But this is the one that I find the most obnoxious:

T: "I did some research into like economics and stuff and I discovered this thing called UBI, have you heard of it?"

W: "What's it stand for?"

T: "Universal Basic Income"

W: "Yeah, I know about that"

He clearly does not know what UBI is.

It becomes very apparent very quickly:

W: "So you've got universal basic income but then also the rich exist still?"

T: "Yeah! Yeah they do."

W: "How does that come about then,"

T: "So in my mind--"

W: "is this universal basic income different for different people?"

T: "No, no, the universal basic income is better for everyone, just the people who have--"

W: "In order for there to be a 1% that means someone's earning more,"

T: "Yes, someone is earning more"

W: "but that means the universal basic income isn't universal!"

T: "No no no, not everyone's getting paid the same but everyone gets the same to begin with, okay? But then you can build on top of it."

W: "Oh no, you've got a-- Tubbo, you've got a fucking social point system!"

T: "Have I made a social point system??"

W: "Tubbo, you've made China!"

None of what Wilbur says makes ANY sense here. The only explanation I can think of is that he didn't know what UBI was, made an assumption that it just meant "everybody gets paid the same amount of money" or something like that and then just spoke fast enough that Tubbo couldn't correct him

Tubbo is correct here, Tubbo knows what he's talking about, but he can't out-speak Wilbur who is just throwing so much bullshit out of his mouth that there's no time to even respond

So, UBI means that everyone in the society gets a regular payment of a specific amount of money that's the same for everyone regardless of their life situation (and generally a requirement would be that it has to be enough to live on, altho people do like to water this down a lot...) This would be completely irrelevant to your wages or salary or capital gains. You can choose to either live on the UBI or you can just do the regular capitalist things to earn extra money on top of the UBI

Obviously I'm not one of those people who think that UBI would solve all of world's problems, I mean I am an anarchist and all (and not an ancap either), but it's literally just a very streamlined welfare system. That's all. It would probably be a lot better than the current models we have but it's not fundamentally different. There's nothing particularly weird about it, the point is just to make sure that everyone has enough money to live on, in every other regard it's just normal capitalism

Wilbur completely misunderstands the whole thing (because, again, he does not know what UBI is so he's just trying to imagine what it might mean based on what Tubbo is saying) and jumps immediately to something he apparently has heard of, which is the Chinese social credit system, which has nothing to do with UBI. In fact I'm pretty sure it also doesn't actually have anything to do with income either, or at least not directly, so I don't think Wilbur knows what the social credit system is either

He's literally just talking in buzzwords

Like if you actually wanted to make a leftist critique of Tubbo's city, you could, don't get me wrong. But instead Wilbur keeps insisting that he's made a social point system despite Tubbo trying to explain why it's not that at all

Wilbur just keeps yelling over Tubbo until his own chat turns against him and finally Tubbo himself also kinda gives up

And from there Tubbo also kinda just starts playing into the bit and just lets Wilbur direct the whole conversation, the rest of it is just them getting more and more into the roleplay. Wilbur keeps talking about the state pension plan, even though Tubbo already tried to explain that it's part of the UBI (this actually is how UBI is supposed to work, it does indeed streamline most of the welfare spending! Obviously you can still raise questions about that (I can think of a few at least) but Wilbur didn't let Tubbo explain so I have no idea what Tubbo actually had in mind)

I could try to go through all of what Wilbur says here but it's just too much, so maybe some other time. Although to be honest there are so many other streams that I probably should talk about instead that some fans unfortunately took a bit too seriously because they assumed Wilbur knew what he was talking about

My point here is mainly that just because someone sounds really confident and knows a bunch of buzzwords doesn't mean they know what they're talking about.

#wilbur soot #tubbo #this is literally just petty grumbling #not a serious post #altho i do genuinely hope that people reconsider all the things they've 'learned' from wilbur

[omegalomania]

people bitching and moaning about fob "turning mainstream" as if that was never the entire point of fall out boy. that's In the goddamn dna of the band, it's baked into the ethos of why the band started in the first damn place. to be accessible to kids and especially to girls, who were often ridiculed and shunted out of the hardcore community. to be a gateway to bands that aren't as mainstream. to comment on the society they live in, as they live in it. people act like fall out boy "turning mainstream" was some kind of "betrayal" when from the start they were seizing on the trends of the time, putting their unique, unhinged fall out boy spin on them, and shooting them back out as a funhouse mirror. take this to your grave capitalized on the pop-punk zeitgeist that was big in the late 90s and early aughts and put their own spin on it: enmeshed catchy choruses with high-dexterity lyrical & linguistic skewerwork. infinity on high was basically a massive critique of the scene they were in - this ain't a scene it's a goddamn arm's race is a fucking thesis statement on what it is to be catapulted into fame in an industry that wants nothing more than a thousand cookie-cutter copycat acts of a successful formula, and fall out boy WAS the formula everyone desperately wanted to emulate. american beauty / american psycho blended sampling and modern hip-hop stylings with polished pop-rock and pointed those songs back at the snapshot of the 2010s we all lived in: commenting on racial injustice and the freeze-frame nature of relevancy. but even then they weren't doing it quite right - because fall out boy never does things quite right, they're never quite conventional, whether it's wentz's darkly confessional lyrics double-bagged in metaphor or stump's distinctive clear tenor or trohman's inescapable rock 'n roll edge or hurley's thunderous hardcore-punk-rock soul.

this band has always been too clever for its own critics, is the thing. but then, they always knew that. they knew they had a thriving fanbase of largely female fans so they were going to be mocked and belittled and ridiculed. they weren't quite right. they weren't quite so easy to market. pete wentz had to have all his hard edges filed off and cut down to size, skin lightened, literally whitewashed ("i feel like a photo that's been overexposed") to hell and back, even as he was marketed as the pretty boy of the band. and the other three members never even bothered with the spotlight: the soft-spoken vegan straightedge anarchist drummer and the wry, wisecracking, whip-clever guitarist who was more concerned with being the connective tissue than anything and the reticent vocalist who sang the words and wrote an awful lot of music but wasn't really the guy fronting the band. wentz's charisma carried the band, because the rest of them were really just some guys and never aspired to be anything else.

fall out boy is too pop. fall out boy is too mainstream. fall out boy isn't the real poster child of the emo movement. other bands are better. even within fall out boy's own narrative, they are repeatedly ignored, sidelined, and belittled, as though they weren't one of the only acts from the big 00s emo-pop movement to successfully not just survive the transition from the aughts to the '10s, and then later from the '10s to the '20s, but to thrive in it without banking on nostalgia. this band was supposed to be a flash in the pan. they weren't supposed to last and they weren't supposed to get big. they started off in joe's parents' attic because joe and pete were sick of how exclusionary and homophobic the hardcore scene was.

i think it's high time that people acknowledge how fall out boy has repeatedly succeeded where most of their other peers failed. cunning, clever, capable, and hyper-aware of the space they occupy in the culture surrounding them. that they are just as powerful, important, and artistic as any of the other bands in the scene that others might deify at their expense. that they deserve a hell of a lot more respect than they get from critics or hardcore punks who think they sold out. i hope one day they get that recognition. because they've earned it, time and time again, and the more i see people pushing back against that, the more certain i become of its inevitability.

#fall out boy #fob #*making poasts #this was supposed to be a pithy 3 sentence post but i kept going #just another Day In The Life of someone who sees a lot of garbage takes and gets tired #mostly i just shrug em off cause you know. what else is new. this has been going on since day 1. #but it saddens me. it saddens me that these guys are ridiculed for this still. #it breaks my heart that patrick isnt taken seriously as a composer in some circles because hes the guy from fall out boy. #it breaks my heart that people won't acknowledge pete as one of the most distinctive lyricists of our generation. #it breaks my heart that andy and joe are discredited and shit on within metal circles specifically because they're in fall out boy. #i hope they know that we get it. we get it and we're proud of them. no matter what.

[agentperezbian]

Everyone talks about the Saw series in a queer context — but am I the only one who sees it in a neurodivergent context, especially in relation to capitalism?

I've said before (not on here, privately) that I think John represents capitalism and conformity in a way. His idea of "appreciating your life" often manifests in the form of societal views of productivity/usefulness. Drug addicts should be punished because they aren't making themselves useful. This man should be punished because he's faking an illness to avoid work while still getting paid. Mental illnesses like depression can be cured with punishment. Part of Lawrence's reason for being tested besides cheating on his wife was seeming to have low empathy/being too clinical with his patients which can be a sign of neurodivergence, autism in particular.

I may joke here sometimes but I do not think John is "right" in any way, or a "good guy," for this reason. His views of what is acceptable in society are narrow and encourage conformity. Amanda, the woman he took under his wing, was not healed by her experience in her trap - she merely went from being an open drug user to someone hiding self harm. She was "fixed" because her ailments were out of sight, so they wouldn't bother anyone. John admonishes Adam for spying on people while not acknowledging that he's in poverty, and has to do dirty work to pay his bills. If Adam made it out of his trap, even if he stopped taking pictures, he would still be poor, living in a rundown apartment, unable to afford groceries.

John goes after people who offend his idea of how a person should live. He thinks Jill's approach to helping addicts is bullshit because he believes in a "tough love" approach that we never see actually work. Just as we see the government incarcerating the homeless, people who do drugs, mentally ill people, John also seems to see them as a detriment to society, but does not consider the societal problems that put them where they are. Poverty and mental illness aren't things you can just pull yourself out of. This is why John's ideology and "moral code" is ultimately a failure.

#thanks for the ask this is a really good question actually #saw #john kramer #ask #anon #i hope this is what you meant when you sent this!

[fantasy-frog]

To anybody who might see this, July in the states is disability pride month. As someone who’s past decade plus has been a journey towards understanding, accepting, and advocating for my psychological and physical disabilities and my whole life, aiding disabled family members, I want make it known that: the way many of us feel you can help us the most, is not by “pretending” we’re abled, like we’re just like everyone else, because we’re *not*

When disabilities are ignored, or treated as just “uniquely abled”, it falls on the disabled to maintain abled people’s comfort; to make our disabilities small, to not advocate for equity and the bettering of our lives in a supposedly equal society.

Equality is not equity.

Differences must be acknowledged, understood, and worked around *by abled people* for any true progress to be made.

Most people think this is government related. I know abled people as individuals can’t change that there’s little to no wheel chair access in their bustling city, that the sidewalks are cracked and filled with lips. An abled person can’t make public schools treat autistic kids with humanity, or children with memory-relates disabilities able to always have notes for their exams. They can’t make the employers stop firing us, or the government give us our right to marriage when living under SSI.

What I’m asking for is Empathy. True empathy. The kind that informs your beliefs, and actions. Talk to disabled people. Get to know them. I promise you, you have a disabled person in your family or social circle. Really be inquisitive about their experiences, struggles, and frustrations.

Acknowledge your privilege. Your ease of access to the world. Really sit in it. Absorb it. Your empathy will only grow. And when enough abled people do even just this, the world for us becomes less hostile. It becomes more livable. We become no longer burdens, but cherished by our communities, our families and friends. And trust me, even though the world is not built for me, and I have to consistently jump through 10,000 hoops to achieve even the smallest of victories for an abled person, and my body hurts and breaks down, so I get in a chair on wheels, or get out my cane, or put on my noise cancelling headphones, and just come across obstacle after obstacle -

The majority of the pain comes from the stares. The glances. The questioning. The points when you see the patience leave the eyes of the one who you thought loved you unconditionally, and you remember your place in our collective culture. And fuck man. You recall how workable all the bureaucracy and hurdles felt, how manageable it was to push forward (it’s what you always do) … before you were reminded of where you sit on the totem poll, and how conditional worth is in our society.

Disabled people are worthy. We are valuable. But we need you to believe it, or nothing will ever change.

#disability #please reblog #disability pride month #important #disabled #disabilties #disability rights #advocacy #autism #ADHD #wheel chair friendly #wheel chair users #invisible disability #cane user #mental illness #chronic illness #disability awareness #disability awareness month

[akajustmerry]

i just won't argue whether ananormativity is a thing. i am sorry but there literally isn't a single aspect of ananormativity that isn't actually just heterosexual patriarchy. no one is oppressing you for being single or having "atypical" partnerships because of "romantic supremacy," they're oppressing you because we a) live in a society where monogamous heterosexual marriage between men and women is the only truly approved relationship by the state because it upholds patriarchy and the oppression of non-men and b) we live in a hyper-capitalist context that has made living as a single person harder and harder. you are not being oppressed because of rom-coms or valentines day cards or romance because the "romance" of relationships is not what the state weaponises, its hegemonic ideas of gender and sexuality. if the state gave a shit about romantic status then lgbt peoples in couples would have equal privileges to cis-straight ones. if you truly believe that couples have state and cultural privileges because of romance, you're not acknowledging the reality of abusive partnerships, underage "marriages" and so on. the privleges afforded to couples by the state have next to nothing to do with romance, and everything to do with patriarchy, colonialism and upholding exploitive systems that privilege white cis straight men and the nuclear family.

#/

[cinefairy]

it’s your personal journey

spend more time with yourself.

what people forget about the law is that it’s a personal experience. when you spend your time looking for that next post, awaiting for someone outside of yourself to give you the answer or doing millions of methods desperately— you are forgetting that there is nothing to look for outside of yourself.

you are the solution to all your problems.

so many of us find the law when we’re the most upset or hurt in our lives, i know i did. we chain ourselves to our mistakes, our pasts. we ponder on what we could’ve been or what we should’ve done. all the choices we could’ve made and where we would be if we took them.

but why must you re-live your pain over and over again? don’t you see it does nothing but hurt you even more. and give you more reason to be cruel to yourself?

when we acknowledge that we do not have to have to suffer anymore, that attaching ourselves to the past does nothing but give us more reasons to feel worthless we have this desire to do better.

we may have not made the best choices in the past, we may have not lived up to certain expectations but thats not a reason to give up on ourselves and submit ourselves to failure, we cant beat ourselves up for as long as we live.

"But we cannot simply sit and stare at our wounds forever" — Haruki Murakami

so..imagine. imagine all the things you want to imagine, maybe right now they’re impossible or you cant even see it materialising. oh well. who cares? does it make you feel good? if the answer is yes, do it!

don’t enter your imagination with the intention of manifesting something in the 3D, you’ll only be left starving. imagine because it feels good, imagine because you’re no longer trapped. you’re free in imagination. imagine because you deserve all the great things in life.

eat the citrus fruit of your life and enjoy every bit of it, suck the juice from every finger, run your tongue over your chin and savour every last bit. do it because no one is stopping you, do it because you are free too.

fulfil yourself inwardly. it’s actually a very beautiful thing to do so— when you give yourself what you want & claim ownership of it, you no longer need validation from the external world.

you no longer depend on the external world and lean on it to tell you what you are. you identify yourself with whatever you wish to be identified as so go above and beyond— you don’t need a reason why. you don’t need anyone’s permission approval to fulfil yourself within but your own.

it’s more about getting your desire, this is about identifying yourself as who you want to be. this is about not letting society/external world label you but you labelling yourself on your own terms.

#law of assumption #manifestation #affirmations #dream life #manifesting #neville goddard #life goals #success story #law of attraction #void success #void success story

[the-broken-truth]

Leaving The Web [Part 1] - Platonic Yandere Miguel O'Hara w/ Daughter Symbiote Spider Reader

Summary: As the eldest and only daughter of Miguel O'Hara, a member of the Spider-Society and host of the Venom Symbiote, you have experienced heartbreak from your father's neglect due to his work. Despite your understanding, his decision to leave your universe to raise another daughter was the final straw. You sought refuge in a universe where you don't exist and made it your new home. However, when your father's actions caused the collapse of that universe and the death of his alternate daughter, he realized the value of the daughter he already had - you. Unfortunately, he discovered that you were gone and has since gone to great lengths to find you.

[Earth-928]

Your eyes were filled with tears as you hugged your legs closer to your chest while you sat in your bed in the darkness of your room; your heartbeat irregular as you sobbed and your breathe was stuttering while you tried to calm down but this situation was too much for you to handle at the moment - a fifteen year old shouldn't be dealing with this at the moment or even at all - it was all the fault of your father.

Your name is [Name] O'Hara - Elderst & Only Daughter of the Leader of the Spider-Society, Miguel O'Hara - you are a member of the Spider-Society and you also just happened to be the Host of the Symbiote - Venom. You were bitten by a Radioactive Spider when you were five years old and started developing powers when you were around 8, the members of the Spider-Society aided you in understanding your powers but the one you wanted to help you was just ignoring you - Your Father, Miguel O'Hara. He was so consumed in his work - worried more about tracking Anolomies and dealing with the Spider-Verse rather than raising his daughter. Peter was more of a father to you than Miguel was but you still wanted him to accept the blood bond between the two of you so you worked as hard as you could for the Spider-Society to make your father recognize you but all your efforts were in vain.

At a particular mission, after you turned 15, you successfully captured an anomaly by yourself. With a smile on your face, you presented it to your father, but instead of acknowledging your achievement, he took the creature and left without a word. This left you in tears and looking down at the ground. Peter, noticing your distress, comforted you by placing his hand on your shoulder and giving you a hug, while Mayday patted your head.

One night, Miguel didn't home that night and you were concerned so you went back to the Spider-Society and went to look for him. When you arrived at his platform office with all the screens still active and got curious so you decided to take a look at the screens and what you saw was completely heartbreaking: He was spying on another version of himself - one that had a daughter - but was killed while trying to save someone's purse but was gunned down. Miguel had traveled to the universe and replaced the dead version of himself and according to the log: "I'm going to raise his daughter as my own, one that I can be proud of rather than a burden who was forced on me.". Your heart broke as you left out of the Spider-Society before webbing all the way back home, going into your room, and crying.

"[Name]."

'What is it, Venom? I don't want to talk about it.' You sobbed as your lifted your head from your hands and wiped the tears from your water-soaked eyes before placing your hands back around your legs.

"You need to talk about it. I understand that you are upset but you need to move on. Miguel O'Hara doesn't deserve you and it's time that you made a move to leave him and the Spider-Society. I was looking at the computer while you were reading his log - the best way to live in another universe without it collapsing is to find a universe where a version of you never existed. We need to get the things we need and find a place where we don't exist and make that place our new home. We can protect it and never have to worry about the Spider-Society." Venom explained. You blinked and listened to the Symbiote before nodding and getting out of bed and collecting everything you needed from the money you've been collecting from birthdays and some clothes before burning your personal documents so you never existed in this world.

After putting on your backpack, you headed back to the Spider-Society and made your way to Miguel's Research. There, you discovered a universe where neither you nor Venom existed: Earth-564B. Using the Go-Home Machine, you set a course for this new universe and stood on the platform as the White Spider Machine enveloped you in a webbed dome, teleporting you to your destination. As you traveled through the Time Tunnel, you couldn't help but feel excited about your new home. The portal opened on top of a building in bustling New York City at night. You quickly ran off the building and began swinging through the city, keeping an ear out for any trouble. However, before doing anything else, you needed to obtain new documents.

[One Month Later - Afer The Universe Collasped]

Miguel returned to the Spider-Society after the world he had been living him collapsed and the people were gone, including the daughter he took was his own. He walked out of the total with tears in his eyes before he looked around and was that he was alone in the Spider-Society, he jumped up to his platform and looked at the image of him and the daughter he took that was now gone - looking at her, she looked just like his daughter - the one he abandoned - [Name]. He looked at his desk and noticed something - A Bracelet - [Name's] Bracelet. He picked it up and looked around, she was here, she knew he left her bracelet there. Did she find out why he had left?

"Lyla! Where is [Name]?" Miguel asked his A.I. Assistant who materialized over his shoulder and looked rather upset.

"She's not here, anymore. She found a location where she and Venom didn't exist and decided to take that universe as her home." Lyla explained, causing him to look at his assistant with wide red eyes.

"What do you mean she left?! Where has she gone?! Why would she leave?!" Miguel asked Lyla.

"Are you serious, Miguel? You're seriously wondering why she left you and decided to go to another universe to make a home for herself?! You ABANDONED HER, MIGUEL!!! YOU CALLED HER A BURDEN AND TRIED TO TRADE HER FOR A ANOTHER VERSION OF HER AFTER THAT FATHER WAS GONE AND YOU CAUSED A UNIVERSAL COLLAPSE BECAUSE OF YOUR GREED! SHE WAS SICK OF BEING IGNORED AND NEGLECTED BY HER FATHER!!!" Lyla yelled at Miguel before fading away, leaving the man alone as she looked at his daughter's bracelet in his hand. His daughter was gone and it was his fault. He was going to find her and make everything right at first, he needed to find out what universe she went to.

#spiderverse #yandere miguel o'hara #female reader #daughter reader #venom symbiote

[fairuzfan]

I think what really frustrates me about accusations of antisemitism when we say certain crimes are committed by the Israeli government towards Palestinians is that there is this base assumption that the individual identities of the people in the Israeli state are subject to individualization and identification but then we come across Hamas and all the resistance movements and people automatically categorize them as "good" or "bad" who either are "supported" or "not supported" by Palestinians. Aside from the fact that there are diverse political opinions within Palestine, people always seem to separate Hamas as a uniquely terrible group that only seeks to inflict violence irrespective of their current status of people under occupation not knowing how to change their circumstances and not afforded any contextualization.

When Palestinians talk about certain crimes against us perpetuated by the state of Israel we're told "that's libel" because our oppressors draw their identification as a nation-state as a "Jewish" state. In the same breath they condemn Hamas for killing Israelis and being uniquely antisemitic and not because they're actually fighting for any liberation. Forget the larger political context — the situation in which this exists is irrelevant in the short term analysis of how Hamas is "A Terror Organization".

Hamas is a result of circumstance. They wouldn't exist if the occupation didn't exist. You can't deny that hamas is the direct result of israel, and not because of the incendiary things that came out about who funded hamas or whatever — they are, at their core, a resistance movement against a colonial force.

And yeah, there are Palestinians that have said they don't like Hamas I guess but that... doesn't really matter to people who aren't Palestinian. The reasons they don't like Hamas are within their context of occupational circumstances. You can't just take quotes of Palestinians saying they don't like Hamas and frame it outside of their circumstance as a people living under an occupation. It would be dishonest not to mention that the greatest threat Palestinians face is the occupation. We (Palestinians) all acknowledge that. The differences in political opinion within Palestinian society aren't applicable to Israelis and non-Palestinians because you are not affected by Palestinian society in the same way that Palestinians are affected by Israeli and USAmerican society.

Israelis literally debate in open courts about whether or not to shoot unarmed Palestinians who hold rocks. There are no such discussions in Palestinian society. There are no systems really that can allow for Palestinians to feel like they actually have a political representative. Fatah, or the PA, is just a blatant puppet of the Israeli government. No one trusts them lol. So which avenues are we supposed to turn to when we are shot even as we peacefully protest? If our avenues rely on Israelis to decide that for us, then is that liberation? Is that freedom?

There is just a deep, deep dishonesty in people's treatment of defining what a state represents vs an individual and its almost always weaponized against Palestinians when we talk about the violence we experience and how we counter it.

#palestine

[sopebubbles]

Master List

Ten

Synopsis: in a world where alphas, betas, and omegas live along side modern humans as second class citizens, you've fallen through the cracks of a society that wants to take everything wonderful from you. Luckily a timely encounter with the boys just might save your life.

Chapter summary: Yoongi brings you home and makes you an offer you can't refuse.

Warnings: do not call the cops, I really did write this softness.

WC: 7.8k

You nuzzled your forehead against his chest and murmured back, "Alpha."

Yoongi's whole world stopped on a dime. He'd been called alpha by many people, but none of their acknowledgement felt as sweet as yours. He tucked you under his chin and marked the top of your head with his suddenly sweet tangerine scent. You breathed him in, finally feeling some comfort as your inner voice purred through your mind. Everything else was still and irrelevant for a long moment, until Jungkook came around the desk.

"Can I take her home now?" Yoongi asked over your head. 

If it weren't for the gravity of the scene you'd all witnessed that night, Jungkook would have expressed unbridled pleasure in telling him yes. "She's free to go," he nodded.

You pulled away and swallowed as you looked up at Yoongi. "Is he…"

Yoongi lifted his hand to stroke your cheek. "He lost a lot of blood. He's getting a transfusion. I don't know what other trauma there might be, but when I left him, he was still alive."

He still wasn't sure if that was the desired outcome. If that alpha had hurt you, Yoongi might have preferred to let him bleed out in the street. But he also didn't want to see you suffer.

"I'm going to take you home," he added, and to his surprise, there was no sign of hesitation in your eyes, only exhaustion. You simply nodded. "When are you coming?" he asked, addressing Jungkook.

"I still have two more hours. We can talk then," Jungkook answered in a way that let Yoongi know there were important things for him to know. 

He pushed it to the back of his mind for now in order to focus on you. He loosened his hold on your waist only to slide one hand up to your shoulder to keep you close and protected. Jungkook didn't like PDA in front of the other officers, even if he wasn't on duty, which everyone respected, so Yoongi merely gave him a smile and escorted you out of the station. He knew he should probably try to cover his feelings in the face of all that had happened, but sue him, he was thrilled to have you in his grasp again.

Yoongi unlocked and opened your door to help you in before he jogged around to his own side, making sure to look both ways before he got into the street. He got in the driver's seat and brought the engine to life, putting the heater on high since he noticed how you were still damp when you hugged him earlier and had only gotten more so since you walked out in the pouring rain, heavier now than it was earlier. He could curse Jungkook for not getting you into something dry earlier.

"Hold on a second. Stay there," he said softly as he popped the trunk and opened his door again. He reached into the back as heavy drops drummed against his raincoat. He found what he was looking for and tucked it under the flaps of his jacket until he got back in the cab, not wanting it to get wet. "Take off that sweatshirt," he instructed when he was beside you again.

"Oh," you mumbled before you pulled your arms in and pushed his hoodie over your head. "I'm sorry for taking it," you said as you handed it back. 

Yoongi stopped you. "I'm not asking for it back. I want you to keep using it. It's just damp and cold, and I wanted you to have this blanket so you can warm up faster. It might be a while before we get home with all this rain."

It was dark inside the car. Even the street lights hardly illuminated his face, yet you were still able to lose yourself in the depths of his gentle black eyes. "Thanks," you said softly before pulling the blanket over your bare arms exposed by the tank top you had worn for bed.

Yoongi smiled to himself as he watched you admire it. That was meant to be a courting gift for you, and he guessed it still would be in a way, but he was just glad you liked it. He had bought it from a shop that made products especially for omegas' sensitive skin. When he finally forced himself to tear his eyes from you, he pulled out his phone to tell the pack that you were both heading to the house so that Hoseok could have your room ready. He and Jungkook had let them know about what happened as soon as they were able, but no one knew exactly if you would be coming to the house. Still, even though it was already the middle of the night, no one was sleeping.

All the things Yoongi had on his chest to say to you, that he had imagined saying to you for the last several weeks, couldn't be said tonight, which was for the best because within minutes of pulling away from the police station you were asleep in the seat next to him. He turned off the radio, not so he wouldn't disturb you but so he could listen to your steady breaths as he drove. He was taking you home at least, and asking to formally be your alpha was a conversation that could wait until you were well rested.

The front door of the house opened as soon as Yoongi's car pulled up, as if Jimin had been waiting in the window seat looking for him. You didn't stir when he turned off the car, so he climbed out quietly, holding a finger to his mouth to tell Jimin and the others to be quiet. He opened the door, and the cool air from outside made your face scrunch in discomfort, but it wasn't enough to wake you. He managed to get you unbuckled and you pulled the blanket closer to you as he lifted you bridal style from the passenger seat. With a simple utterance of his name, Jimin was bid to grab your things from the car and lock up. No one said a word to Yoongi as he carried you up the steps and through the front door that Jin held open. No one but him noticed the way you clung harder to him as you passed by the pack alpha. 

He took you up the stairs and to the end of the hall to your room. Hoseok had prepared a small, cozy nest for you, and Yoongi deposited you directly in the center. He tried to take the blanket he had given you earlier from your body in favor of the ones Hoseok's offered, but you held on tight, refusing to give it to. Yoongi smiled a smug, tilted little smile, but it faded fast when he saw the bruises on your wrist. He resisted touching them to examine them more closely, but he could feel his blood begin to boil as a furious voice rang through his mind.

Who dared to put their hands on my omega?

Yoongi hoped that if it was that alpha then he would die slowly.

"Is she okay?" Jimin asked, stepping cautiously through the doorway as Yoongi tucked the blanket around you.

"She's out like a light, but we should talk outside," he replied, getting up to walk Jimin out and closing the door behind him.

The rest of the pack except Jungkook were all waiting in the hallway. Yoongi stood quietly for a long moment, not sure what to say or where to begin. He was such a mess of emotions. He could feel the pure joy of finally having you with him and accepting him, but it was significantly dampened by the events of the evening. Your exhaustion drained him too. Everyone's heavy stares didn't help, either, when he knew he didn't have any real answers to their questions. He wanted to know just as badly as they did. Instead of meeting their waiting stares, Yoongi sank to the floor and leaned against the doorframe. Hoseok took this as an invitation. "What happened?"

Yoongi rubbed his fingers into his tired eyes. "I don't have the full story. Jungkook said he'd have some information when he gets home." He sighed as he finally looked up at the five pairs of waiting eyes. "You all should get some sleep."

"So should you. You look exhausted, Yoongi," Jin told him. 

"I'll stay here," Yoongi replied resolutely. Jimin sat on the floor beside him and scooted close to rest his head on the alpha's shoulder. "You should go get some sleep, Jimin. You have work tomorrow."

The beta shook his head. "I'll sleep here with you."

The others moved to get into the nest and Taehyung brought them a couple of pillows and blankets. 

"Shouldn't we go in and cuddle with her? Is it okay to leave her alone?" Jimin asked softly after everything had gone quiet.

Yoongi shook his head as he brushed back Jimin's bangs. "Not tonight, love. Not until we've had a chance to talk through everything. She's been through so much, I don't want to traumatize her more by forcing something she's not ready for. We'll wait to be asked, okay?"

Jimin looked up softly at him and nodded. "Whatever you think is best, alpha."

Yoongi smiled down at him. "Try to sleep."

As Jimin dozed on his thigh, Yoongi tried to relax. You were safe now, physically at least, and that was a big improvement, which he tried to appreciate. But his alpha needed constant assurance that it was true. He wished you snored, just so he could hear it from the hallway. Instead, he opened the door every ten minutes or so, just to check that you were still sleeping peacefully.

When Jungkook came home an hour later, Yoongi was still wide awake. Jin and Hoseok too had been lying quietly in the dark while their younger mates slept. On a night like this, they wouldn't be able to sleep until Jungkook came back. When they heard him greet Yoongi in the hallway, they got up to join them. Jimin stirred slightly as Jungkook sat beside him.

Yoongi looked at him with eyes full of questions, not knowing where to start. "Is she in trouble?" He finally asked.

"If she were, she wouldn't be here with you, hyung," Jungkook answered somberly. "The driver was drunk. If he dies, they'll pin the blame there first."

"But she's sap," Yoongi mumbled, knowing how incongruous the legal system could be when Lykos were victims of Saps. 

Jungkook sighed because he knew it, too. "And he's an alpha. It might not come to anything regardless."

Hoseok couldn't hold his concern anymore. "What happened, Jungkook?" He demanded.

Jungkook looked at Yoongi when he spoke. "Y/N was staying with her brother, Eli, and he kicked her out tonight. She didn't say why, but that's why she was out so late. While she was walking she ran into an alpha…h-her alpha. From before. He grabbed her and was trying to get her to come with him. She struggled with him and pushed him. That's when the car came and hit him."

"Hyung," Jimin whispered, laying his hand over Yoongi's fist where it was wrapped around Jimin's shirt. Yoongi loosened his fingers instinctively at the beta's soft tone, but his fingernails still pressed pink crescents into the palm of his other hand.

"I could have just left him there to bleed out," Yoongi breathed, staring into nothing.

"Don't do that to yourself, hyung," Jungkook replied. "You did your job. And if you hadn't she would be feeling guilty."

"He doesn't deserve to keep breathing."

"I know, Yoon, but it's not up to us," Jungkook soothed. "And even if he were dead, it wouldn't change all the things that have already happened."

"He'll never be allowed to touch her or hurt her again," Yoongi growled low.

"She has you now, Yoongi. That's what matters. You can protect her now," Hoseok assured him.

"I'm going to," he agreed, looking Jin in the eyes, "whatever it takes."

Jin nodded. "I'm not going to interfere," he promised. "Whatever you need to do, we'll support you. She's all yours." 

"Do you think she'll stay?" Hoseok asked.

Yoongi shook his head. "I think so. I hope so. I'll do anything to make her not want to leave."

You felt surprisingly well rested when you woke up in the nest Hoseok had made for you. You hadn't even gotten a full night's sleep but what you got was uninterrupted. Was it the faint scents of the pack that kept you calm all night long? Or was it just the bone deep exhaustion and shock? It was the strength of Hoseok's warm brown sugar that let you know you were in their house despite the room being unfamiliar. They had moved, you remembered.

They moved without telling you for a reason.

You covered your head with the soft, fuzzy blanket on top of you and burrowed into the nest. After a minute, you forced yourself up. You didn't know what time it was or where you were, so you couldn't lie around all day. You'd have to get ready for work and pretend like this was any other day. Looking around the room, you noticed there's only one door, so the bathroom must be outside. On one side of the room stood a white armoire with mirrored doors and on the other side, a chest of drawers. The morning light filtered through the sheer curtains gave the walls a soft green glow. You thought briefly about laying back and going back to sleep, but you could hear noises in the house, so you forced yourself up.

When you opened the door, you found Yoongi sitting against the wall across from the room with a cup of coffee in his hand. 

Alpha has been waiting.

You felt the urge to go to his side, to nuzzle him and brighten his tired, worried scent, but you held back. The restraint you lacked last night had returned even if your impulses felt the same. It was difficult though when he looked up at you with his feline eyes.

"How did you sleep?" 

"Great, actually. I haven't slept that well in a really long time," you admitted.

"Hobi will be happy to hear that," he smiled.

"Did you sleep at all?" You wondered, looking at the bags under his eyes. 

He gave you a sheepish smile before he got to his feet. "I have the day off. I'll be fine. I'm used to long nights. Do you want to sleep some more?"

You shook your head. "No, I'm fine. And I have to go to work. What time is it?"

Yoongi frowned and took out his phone. "It's a quarter to nine. What time do you have to work?" 

"Ten."

Yoongi hesitated for a moment, as if he wasn't sure if he should say what he wanted next. "You don't have to go. You can call in sick. You had a big night last night and it's okay if you take some time to recover." 

You shook your head slowly. "I want to have a normal day. Work is a good distraction."

You could see that he understood that logic, even if he didn't want to agree. He cleared his throat awkwardly. "Where do you work? I'll drive you."

"The library."

"Downtown?" You nodded and something seemed to distract him, but after a moment he shook it off, clearing his throat once more. "Go ahead and get ready, then come get something to eat before I take you."

You sensed those were each commands, not invitations, even if they were gently given. "I have cleaning clothes at work, but I don't have anything else. Do you know where my–your hoodie is?" You self consciously crossed your arms as your voice died in the realization that you were asking for something that didn't belong to you.

"Hobi is washing it, but I'll get you a different one for now," he offered and before you could even try to deny him giving you another article of clothing, he disappeared into an adjacent room. He came back a moment later with another thick sweatshirt, this one mustard yellow and smelling heavily of lavender and citrus. You thanked him quietly before heading into the bathroom across the hall.

When Yoongi got downstairs, Hobi was sitting at the table with a strange sort of smile on his face. The alpha eyed him suspiciously as he refilled his coffee cup.

"Out with it," Yoongi demanded after the omega did nothing but share back at him coyly. 

Hoseok's smile widened and he leaned forward, sliding something across the table under his hand. "I found something when I was putting your hoodie in the wash just now."

Yoongi looked up with interest, licking his lips. He was curious but also nervous about what it could be. "What?"

Hoseok lifted his hands off the small, tattered cardstock that carried Jimin's contact information. "It looks like she's been keeping it close."

Yoongi picked up the worn business card and held it like a delicate treasure. He turned it over to see Jimin's familiar handwriting and studied the edges where you had spent hours contemplating making contact.

"I don't think she forgot about you at all. I think she might've wanted to come, but was too scared."

Yoongi frowned. "I wish she hadn't been so scared."

"It doesn't matter anymore, Yoongi. Show her she doesn't have to be afraid again. Everything is good now."

"I still have to ask her to stay. I want to do it today. I don't want to waste time and risk losing her again," Yoongi said softly. Hoseok gave Yoongi's hand a reassuring squeeze and held it there for a minute until you came down the stairs and found your way to the kitchen. 

Both of them perked up as soon as they saw you.

"Do you want some coffee?" Hoseok asked, standing up.

"No…thanks. It makes me jittery," you answered timidly before you turned your eyes on Yoongi. He didn't know quite how to describe the way he felt when you looked at him. It seemed cliche to say that time slowed and everything else seemed to fade, but that's how he was feeling, looking and seeing nothing but you swallowed up by his big yellow hoodie, already looking claimed. "Is something wrong?" You asked, following his eyes down to your body.

Yoongi shook his head. "That color looks nice on you," he said through the lump in his throat.

You let out a surprised 'oh' and wrapped your fists around the long ends of the sleeves. Yoongi pulled out a chair beside him and did his best not to stare at you, but it wasn't easy.

"I can make you some breakfast," Hoseok offered, hovering awkwardly without anywhere to go.

Yoongi cut you off before you could eke out a refusal. "You should have something," he urged softly. 

"I can make you eggs or just toast…" Both men followed your eyes up to the top of the refrigerator.

"Are those…cocoa puffs?" You asked with a small, cute smile.

"Yeah, Taehyung likes to believe he's still a child sometimes," Hoseok replied with an endeared smile. "Do you like them too?"

You shrugged. "I've never had them."

"Really?"

"My mother didn't really let us eat sugar. Especially not chocolate for breakfast," you admitted.

"Then you should try them." The omega reached for them and gathered the other things you would need.

You turned your head to look at Yoongi and he thought he saw you asking for his approval with your eyes. He shrugged. "It's something," he answered with the same smile Hobi had before. He puts a bowl, milk, spoon and the box of cereal in front of you for you to serve yourself. Neither of them seem to be able to tear their eyes away from the innocent smile you can't even hide as you assemble your breakfast. They remain silent as you eat.

"What do you plan to do today?" Hoseok asked as you slurped down the sweetened milk in your bowl. He didn't bother to ask if you liked it since it was obvious in the way you ate. 

"Yoongi is going to take me to work," you answered. When you looked at the man in question he was chuckling almost silently, his eyes focused on your lips. You felt your cheeks heat and wiped the milk mustache with the back of your sleeve.

Hobi's face twisted. "Why do you want to go to work? You could stay here and work with me!"

You shrugged. "It's kind of nice to work. It's nice to get out of the house. And I need the money."

"You don't need money. That's what alphas are for," Hoseok laughed lightheartedly.

Yoongi watched you squirm and wondered which part of the omegas remarks unsettled you. You got quiet, and he would've paid you a day's wages for you to tell him what was on your mind. He hoped that some day soon he would be able to just ask you what you were thinking and expect you to answer him honestly. At the moment he was afraid of saying too many things and spooking you before he and Jimin could both talk to you in the afternoon, as they'd discussed. 

When the silence stretched into an awkward one, you hopped out of your chair and took your dish to the sink, refusing Hoseok's attempts to tell you not to.

"You haven't taken your eyes off her once since she walked into the room. I don't even think you've blinked," Hoseok remarked in a whisper.

"I can't help it. I literally don't think I can stop looking at her." The urge to watch everything you did was overwhelming. He noted the way you moved quickly, anxiously from one activity to the next, the way your eyes scanned your surroundings. He cataloged your little nervous ticks, like how you bit your lip or picked your nails without noticing. He observed the way you seemed to stare into space when choices were presented to you and then went silent, disappearing into yourself. he needed to see everything so he could unpick you like a knot, so that someday he would be able to look at you and know what you were thinking and give you what you needed before you could ask. He needed to know how to be your alpha, not just a good one. 

"Are you ready to go?" You asked Yoongi after you'd washed not just your dish, but the others that were waiting in the sink as well. He simply nodded and gestured for you to lead the way to the front door so that he could continue to keep his eye on you. Would he ever feel secure enough to give you his back?

You went out to find Yoongi's car parked by the curb. It was a vintage Impala, the kind with the bench seats. Yoongi wasn't huge into cars, but this one had been left to him by his grandfather and he was determined to take good care of it. It also had the advantage of seating seven, when Jimin sat in someone's lap. He opened the door for you, thinking how easily you would fit in any of his packmates' laps, but he didn't know if you would be willing. The doubt was crushing him.

"How long have you been working at the library?" Yoongi asked as he drove, trying to fill the silence but also genuinely curious to know what was happening in your life.

"Since the day after I went to see Jimin," you admitted softly. "So almost a month."

"Do you like it?"

You nodded meekly. "Most of the time it's nice. I like cleaning. Some days are not so great, but all jobs suck sometimes."

Yoongi nodded in agreement. "I'm glad Jimin was able to help you. It's good you went to him."

"Did he tell you?"

"Of course."

"Oh."

"Hobi found Jimin's card in your pocket. Why did you hold onto it?" That card was in his own pocket now, tucked safely away in his wallet, and he'd hold onto it at least as long.

You shrug. "I thought about calling him a lot. I almost did, a couple of times. I just…I didn't want to bother him."

"We wouldn't have minded."

You turned your head to look at him. "We?"

"Jimin and I are kind of…a set."

"I thought your whole pack was a set?" You wondered.

"Yeah, but it can be split into pieces. Jimin is mine though. We have to be taken together."

You looked out the window to your right as he continued to drive and once again he wished he would just ask what was on your mind, but he didn't. When he pulled into a parking spot in front of the library you quickly moved to get out even though there were still ten minutes before the start of your shift, but then you paused. Yoongi followed your gaze to a man standing in front of the library.

"Who is that?" He asked urgently.

You swallowed. "That's my brother."

"Eli?" You looked at him, surprised at first but then the understanding that Jungkook must have told him dawned on you and you nodded. Yoongi's eyes softened on you. "What happened? I mean, why did he kick you out all the sudden?"

You began to pick at your cuticles with your nails as you explained. "I was staying with him and his fiance. She doesn't like Lykos, so he told me I had to pretend. I tried, but yesterday I just felt like shit and I tried to nest, but she found out, and everything fell apart so fast."

"You made a nest?" Yoongi asked softly, his whole chest warming at the thought.

"Yeah, it was stupid."

Yoongi put his hand over both of yours and stopped your fidgeting. "It wasn't stupid. Your instincts told you what to do to feel better and you followed them. That's so good of you. It's sick that they wouldn't want that for you. They're wrong, not you."

You looked up at him and tried to blink back the moisture in your eyes. "I'll help you with Eli. What do you think he wants?"

You shrugged. "If she kicked him out, he might be here to yell at me."

Yoongi looked puzzled. "Why would she…is he Lykos too?"

"He's a beta."

Yoongi looked thoughtful for a moment. "What do you want to do?" When you looked confused he elaborated. "Do you want to talk things out with him? Or would you rather have him out of your life?"

He watched your face as you thought it over silently. It seemed as though you were wrestling with various thoughts, only to utter, "he's my brother."

"I know that, but people who hurt you don't deserve a spot in your future just because they were a part of your past. If you never want to see him again, I'll make sure of it."

You gasped softly and raised your eyebrows. Yoongi chuckled, "not like that! I just mean I will protect you from him and make sure he doesn’t bother you again."

"Why?" You wondered innocently. 

You'd forgotten his hand was holding yours until he gave them a squeeze. "Because your future safety and happiness are important to me."

It took a moment for the shock of his sincerity to clear from your eyes but when you did you answered, "yes, I think I'd like that. To have him out of my life, I mean."

"Lets go talk to him then," Yoongi agreed with a small smile.

You both got out of the car and Yoongi told you to stay behind him as you approached your brother. You did as he said, only peeking at Eli from around Yoongi's arm.

"Y/N, are you okay?" Eli asked, trying very hard to look at you and not the alpha in front of you. 

"Do you even care?" You asked in return. 

"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't want to throw you out last night but I had no choice. It's my life. You have to understand," he pleaded.

"If you want to protect it so badly then I don't know why you brought me into it," you spat back. "You could have left me alone if that was how it was going to end. I told you I don't need you and I meant it."

"Maybe you're right. I was just trying to be nice. You're still my little sister."

You shrank to hide yourself more behind Yoongi and he took his cue. "Not anymore. She doesn't want to see you again. Just stay away from her," he said evenly, with no obvious threat, but his seriousness was evident.

"Who even are you?" Eli scoffed.

Yoongi glanced back at you briefly. He wished he could say he was your alpha, but he didn't have that authority. Not officially. "I'm just helping her. So she doesn't need you in her life anymore. Please leave."

Eli shook his head. "Are you the alpha she went looking for last week who wasn't there? Is that how you're helping her? By disappearing?" Eli smirked at the slight flinch of Yoongi's upper lip. "At least you're real. I half thought she made the whole thing up."

Yoongi felt you lean into his back and stood firmer. "You don't need to worry about it. Just go."

"Fine. I honestly don't fucking care. I just came to bring her stuff. If she wants to act like a dog, that's on her." Eli shoved your bag into Yoongi's chest, and only that and you behind him kept him from throwing a punch. 

"I hope she throws you out, too," Yoongi called to Eli's back as he walked away. "Asshole," he muttered before turning to you. "You okay?" You nodded and reached for the bag, but he held onto it. "Get to work. I'll keep it for you and pick you up after work."

You looked at him strangely, but didn't refuse, simply turned and walked into the library, giving him one last look over your shoulder before you disappeared through the automatic doors.

When you got to the custodian's closet, you quickly changed into the set of clothes you left there and then gathered your things to begin your work. You made the rounds to all the bathrooms to make sure they were full of toilet paper and soap before you went to check the trash cans. You didn't think you were going to find Yoongi in the graphic novels section. 

"Are you going to stay here all day?" You asked in a whisper as you wiped the table he was at.

Yoongi looked up at you from the manga he had picked off the shelf. "One of the great things about the library is that it's one of the last places on earth that you're allowed to loiter."

He had you there. That's why so many homeless people spent the day there. "You plan to loiter for six hours? Don't you have work?"

"Nope. I'm off until tomorrow. But I won't stay all day if it makes you uncomfortable. I just wanted to see what it was like where you work. I'll leave in a bit."

You shrugged. "It's a free country."

"What kinds of books does Jin get when he comes here?" Yoongi wondered, turning the page as if the question meant nothing. 

Your eyes widened at the abruptness of the question, but you thought carefully. "I've never seen him check out any books. He's usually over in the dvds until he goes to meet up with the other one."

Yoongi smirked. "Namjoon." You nodded as if you knew that. "And what kind of books did Namjoon get?"

Again you thought it over before you answered. "He's usually in the fiction section, unless he's over in the 800s."

"Poetry," Yoongi supplied.

"I guess. Why do you ask?"

"Just curious. How many times have you seen them here?"

"Two or three times. Namjoon came once without Jin."

"Did you ever talk to them?" You shook your head emphatically. "Why not?" You ducked your head, avoiding his eyes. "What is it?" He pushed. 

"They're…scary. They're so big and mean looking," you admitted very softly. 

"And I'm not scary?"

"Not the same."

"Why?" He smirked.

"Because you don't look like you could kill me by accident."

His smirk fell into a frown and he swallowed the quickly forming lump in his throat. "They wouldn't either. Namjoon is big and clumsy sometimes, but he's just a giant puppy. He's harmless."

"And I'm an ant next to him," you pouted. The sight seemed to amuse him and you didn't know why that made your stomach flutter.

"Do you believe I would protect you from him, if you ever needed me to?" Yoongi asked carefully. 

You considered it for a moment. Namjoon was part of his pack. They'd known each other for years before you came along. And yet somehow you knew to your core that there wasn't anything Yoongi wouldn't protect you from, even if that was himself. "Yes. I believe that."

"Good," he replied, seeming satisfied. "I will leave and let you work in peace. What time do you get off?"

"Four," you answered without hesitation. 

"Then I'll be outside at four o'clock," he said, smiling as he walked away. 

Yoongi went back to the house to help Hobi make some adjustments so you would be more comfortable. He still hasn't cleared things up with you, but he felt hopeful. And restless. Hobi suggested he take a nap but he couldn't even close his eyes. So in the afternoon he decided to go to the shelter to play basketball with the teens and burn off some of the energy. It half way worked, in so far as he made himself tired, but not much less anxious for four o'clock. When the time came, Jimin left work early with him to go pick you up. 

You honestly didn't expect him to be there when you got out of work, but he was parked in exactly the same spot as before. You wondered if he'd been there all day until you got in the passenger seat. You were surprised to see Jimin, and by the fact that citrus could smell so heady, but the exercise had managed to make Yoongi's scent thick and rich. You could taste it. 

"Hi, Jimin," you greeted timidly.  "What are you doing here?"

Jimin cleared his throat and draped his arms over the back of the seat between you and Yoongi. "Yoongi and I have a proposal for you. If you accept it, then we'll take you home. If not, then we'll take you anywhere else you want to go."

You looked at Yoongi, who was nervously biting his chapped lower lip, and swallowed. "What's your proposal?"

"Well, that's just it," Yoongi replied. "We want to court you."

"Court me?" You asked in confusion. You had heard the words before, but it held no concrete meaning for you. The word meant different things in the Sapien and Lykos worlds, but you got them muddled since they'd never meant much to you. "Like date me?"

"Not exactly. I mean, we can go on dates, but it's more than that," Yoongi began to explain. 

"Didn't your last pack court you?" Jimin wondered. 

You shook your head. "Not really. I don't know. They took me in off the streets and the next thing I knew, I just…belonged to them."

Yoongi took a deep breath to soothe the anger flaring in his chest. He wanted, needed to get into all the ways your previous pack—if you could even really can them that—had gotten it wrong, but that wasn't what he needed to communicate at the moment. 

"What we mean, Y/N, is that we want you to be a part of our pack. We want to be yours as much as you would be ours," he said carefully.

"Oh," you breathed, picking at your fingernails.

You know it will be like last time.

It won't. I trust Yoongi.

It's dangerous. Listen to me for once, please. Do you want to end up at another alpha's mercy? I thought you were done with that. Are you ready for heats and ruts and being breed senseless again?

"I don't think I can do that," you admitted softly.

"Why not?" Yoongi asked without inflection, as if he wasn't terribly interested in the answer although he was burning with the need to know.

You turned your face away from them and shrank in your seat. "I know what you want from me, but I can't give it to you. Please don't ask me to." The tears in your voice broke Yoongi's heart. He wanted to reach out for you, but he knew he shouldn't. 

"What do you think we want from you, princess? We haven't told you yet."

You wiped some of the moisture away from your eyes and made your voice firm, even if you still couldn't look at him. "I can't give you pups and I can't do the heats and ruts. It's too hard for me, okay? So find someone else."

Yoongi's intake of breath managed to sound both disappointed and insulted, but Jimin spoke before he could. "Yn, that isn't what we want from you. Where would you get an idea like that?" 

"I know Hoseok is struggling to have a baby. But you can't use me. Please, don't use me. I can't do it." There were thick tears coming down your cheeks now and Yoongi was going to lose his mind. 

"This is not how I thought this was going to go," Yoongi groaned. You looked at him with despair, and he honestly didn't know what to do except pull you closer to him across the seat. He wiped your cheeks even as you faced him with fear. "Yn, no one is going to breed you. Especially not me. I'd kill them if they even thought of it."

You hiccupped, trying not to sob. "Then what do you want?"

"Silly girl, we want to take care of you. Would love to take you home and keep you in the house where nothing could ever hurt you again. But mostly I just want to be your alpha and know that at least I have the right to stand between you and everyone else in the world. That's all I want." His hands held your face still as you stared dumbly into his eyes. 

"That's it?"

"There are a few details to be spelled out, but essentially, yes." Jimin answered. 'We want you to be our omega because we want you to be protected and taken care of."

"What's the catch?"

"There's no catch," Yoongi whispered. 

Doesn't make sense. You're a shit omega, why you? 

"But why me?" 

"Because everything in your life up to this point has been wrong, and I'm here to put an end to that," Yoongi said confidently. 

"And because it's fate," Jimin added. 

"Fate?" You questioned. When had fate ever been kind to you? 

"Don't worry about that," Yoongi mumbled.

"Well…what would I have to do? To be your omega?" You hedged. "And what about the rest of the pack? I doubt they want someone like me."

Yoongi shook his head. "The rest of the pack isn't important right now. This is me and Jimin. Not because they don't want you. They're more than willing to accept you, but I think that might be a bit much for you. I want you to learn to trust me, first. If it would make you more comfortable, we can even get our own place so it's just the three of us."

"But–" you bit your tongue. Yoongi raised an eyebrow. "What about Hoseok?"

Yoongi smiled softly. "Hoseok has spent weeks preparing your room at the house. He wants you as much as we do."

"I went to your old house," you admitted quietly. 

Yoongi felt his heart skip and then race. "When?"

"Last week. The day I ran into Eli. He wanted to drive me home and instead of taking him to the shelter at first I took him to your old house and saw the sold sign." The embarrassment still burned.

Yoongi's thoughts turned almost violent, but he quelled them. "I'm sorry. I wish more than anything that we had been there."

"I figured you did it on purpose because you wanted to hide from me, so I couldn't find you."

"That will never be the case, Y/N. I promise, from now on you'll always know where to find us," Jimin vowed.

You sniffled. "Tell me, then. What are the details?"

"For starters," Yoongi reached into the back seat and pulled out the bottle of heat suppressants from your bag. "You have to stop these."

"But you said–"

Yoongi held up a hand. "I meant want I said. No one is going to try to breed you. If you don't want to mate in or out of heats and ruts, that's fine. If you're worried about becoming pregnant, there are other forms of birth control you can try. But these things are literally killing you. They just published an article last week about heat suppressants being linked to cancer. I won't let that happen to you."

You frowned. "It's the heats that I can't stand though. They…I don't know how to say it. They hurt me. I don't like them."

Yoongi's face matched yours as he reached for your hand. "We'll help you. Hoseok will help you. We'll find a way to make them better until they don't hurt so much anymore. But I can't let you do something I know will hurt worse in the long run."

"Fine," you nodded. "What else?"

"I need to know where you are at all times. You don't leave the house alone or come home alone. Someone will take you and pick you up from work. Whenever possible, Jimin or I will be there with you, but it could also be Tae or Jungkook."

"You're not going to tell me not to work?" 

"No," Yoongi sighed. "I don't love the idea of you being out of the house so much, but I won't lock you up either. I hope that eventually you'll see that I can provide enough for you that you don't have to work, but I'm not worried about it now. But that's another point. You have to allow me to provide for you. It's my duty and my pleasure."

You shook your head slightly. "I don't want to be a burden. Your pack is already big and I don't want to be another mouth to feed without helping out."

Jimin scoffed. "You will never be a burden. We have plenty to share. That's the whole point of having four alphas, doll." 

You sighed. That wouldn't be an easy concept to adjust to but you'd give it time. "Fine. What else?"

"I need you to be honest with me. I know you have a lot of scary things in your past. I will probably mess up as your alpha, but if I do something that hurts you or scares you, it will always be unintentional. I need you to be open and specific about your triggers so that I can be a good alpha to you."

"Okay," you nod.

"There's something else that I want to help you with," Jimin interjected. You turned your head to look at him. "No one will ever force you to have sex or anything that doesn't make you feel good. But you need physical touch. It's an important part of health for Lykos. Cuddling, touching, scent marking, they've all been proven to increase overall well being."

"We also think that's why you're so tiny. I'm guessing you didn't get held much as a child," Yoongi added. You confirmed his thoughts with a shake of your head. "Growing up without a pack or in neglect has been shown to lead to smaller sizes. That's why Jimin and I are smaller than the others, too."

"I like that you're smaller," you murmured. 

"You do?" Jimin had always felt insecure about his size since many people thought he was an omega at first glance. You nodded. 

"She thinks we're less deadly than Namjoon," Yoongi smiled. 

"That guy? He won't even kill spiders." Jimin laughed. You weren't sure if you'd ever heard him laugh before, but it was a lovely sound. It made Yoongi smile a gummy smile that took the weight off your chest. 

"I guess those things sound okay. I don't really know what you want, but I trust you." 

That sentence made Yoongi's smile stick. "Is there anything you want from us?"

You shrugged. "I don't really know what to expect from packmates, so I don't know."

"Then you'll just have to let us know if there's something you don't like or that makes you uncomfortable. Can you do that?" Jimin asked, and you nodded. 

"Are you ready to go home then?" Yoongi asked. 

"Wait. What about your other packmates?"

Yoongi pursed his lips. "For now, just think of them as people we live with. They won't have the same privileges as Jimin and I do. You don't have to do anything for or with them if you don't want to. Hopefully, in time, you'll all become more comfortable with each other."

"And if we don't?" You questioned.

They'll just toss you out like always.

"Then we'll move. If the eight of us can't blend, then we will separate. It will be you, me and Jimin, no matter what," Yoongi promised. 

"Why would you do that for me?" 

"Because you're a part of us now. We won't lose you. They can take care of each other, but you need us, and I've never wanted anything in my life as much as I want to take care of you," he admitted. 

You absorbed his words. They didn't feel right at first, chafing against the belief that you could take care of yourself. But you'd already realized weeks ago that wasn't really working. You did need him, as much as you hated to admit it. But he did seem like the perfect alpha for you. "Okay, then. Take me home."

Jimin and Yoongi smiled at each other and then at you. The alpha started up the engine while Jimin got out and came to the front seat. He pulled you into his side and you could feel his warmth and let it move through you as you finally set off for home.

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