#but wanting the entire community to do better

[tobiasdrake]

Fun Fact: Even in space, ACAB.

Let's talk about Jaco: The Galactic Patrolman, a somewhat more obscure manga compared to Dragon Ball that Akira Toriyama wrote in its setting.

For the most part, this is a short and fairly simple story. It's primarily a character drama, with the developing relationship between Jaco and the scientist Omori as its central focus.

The manga is surprisingly vague about its connections to Dragon Ball for nearly all of its length, until its final chapter. Jaco is here on Earth to thwart some vague threat sent to the planet from a world of hostile aliens. It's only at the end of the manga that we learn he's talking about Goku.

Galactic Patrol detected an Attack Ball leaving Planet Vegeta and making its way to Earth, so they sent Jaco to... assess the situation and then make a decision about whether or not to do anything.

In his defense, the Saiyans are the most powerful race in the universe. I can understand why he doesn't want to fuck with a full-grown Saiyan warrior. Nobody wants to fuck with a full-grown Saiyan warrior. The most that the finest police force in the universe can do against Saiyans is to try and nip them in the bud when they're babies.

It's interesting that Galactic Patrol doesn't have Scouter technology. I wonder if that proprietary? Frieza might have a patent.

But at the same time, I don't want to be too sympathetic to Jaco because. Well. He sucks.

Galactic Patrol sucks. That's kind of the bit. Jaco is a self-absorbed little shit, utterly devoid of empathy or compassion for the people he polices. He's stranded on Earth right now because he wasn't watching the road while driving.

Jaco's a prick, but what little we learn about Galactic Patrol as a whole doesn't make them sound much better.

This one time Jaco accidentally pressed the Extinction Bomb when he wasn't supposed to and wiped out a planet. Hoo boy, was his boss mad! Gave him a real talking to before giving him another Extinction Bomb and putting him back on patrol.

Universe isn't going to police itself, y'know. Someone's gotta be out there very occasionally trying to stop those real estate genocides.

For his part, Jaco's in it for the aesthetic. He likes the image of being a cop, and he spends his time practicing looking cool for when he presumably dispenses justice upon the criminal element.

But his interactions with the common people are filled with condescension and menace.

Like I said, this is the bit. Jaco is a self-important thug with a badge, with the initial conflict stemming as much from trying to keep him from doing something awful to the community under his jurisdiction as from trying to solve his problem.

Ostensibly here to protect Earth from the impending arrival of a Saiyan threat, he is as much a threat to this community as the invader he's here to assess. Without Omori there to guide him, he'd be killing people left and right.

He fits in pretty well with the cast of Dragon Ball, many of whom at least begin their tenure with a degree of amorality to them. Omori himself is a bitter misanthrope ironically thrust into the position of having to convince Jaco not to kill people.

And then there's the manga's biggest Dragon Ball connection: The introduction of Tights.

Any reader who's been picking up on the Dragon Ball-ness of this universe will know immediately where Tights came from. Her name pun gives the game away. Just like how the final chapter clarifies Jaco's target as the young Goku, we get to see the familiar faces of Tights's family as well.

Bulma basically solves the entire plot singlehandedly.

Even as a little kid, the universe's greatest heretic remains unparalleled in the field of game-breaking super-intelligence. Bulma OP do not nerf.

Again, this speaks to how little of the manga is actually about the plot. If this were a story-driven manga, having a character from another manga show up in the final issue and solve the plot in the span of two pages would be pretty disappointing. But since the plot is just an excuse to make these characters interact with one another, it doesn't really matter.

We aren't here for the story; We're here for the relationship between Jaco, Omori, and Tights. With that in mind, Baby Bulma waddling up and going "I fixed the spaceship; Are you stupid or something?" is hysterical.

For her part, Tights lives up to her family legacy of being super-brilliant.

She graduated from college at 16. She's a genius like the rest of the family. What she's not is interested in science and technology. Possibly as a justification for why we've never heard of her before, Tights goes against the mold for her family.

She honestly seems like something of a free spirit. She lives in East City when we meet her, famously the city that Nappa wiped off the map, while Capsule Corp and Bulma's family are out in West City. Rather than a scientist, she works as a body double for a famous pop idol.

As a publicity stunt, they're going to launch an idol into space. Tights's job is to impersonate the idol so she can die in the inevitable disaster instead. She is bizarrely chill with being paid a huge sum of money to get stupidly killed. Much like Bulma, Tights has a terrible sense of self-preservation and is willing to take on incredible risk for the sake of achieving a personal goal.

Tights is the best character in the manga. An aspiring sci-fi novelist who agreed to probably die in space for the sake of the experience. This family gives zero fucks.

And then there's Omori himself.

Despite its title, Omori is basically the main character of this manga. He's the one whose life situation is most heavily scrutinized. This is his status quo that Jaco and Tights enter. Similarly, Omori is the character who undergoes personal transformation as his experiences with Jaco and Tights help him find hope in connections with other people again.

The three characters click really well together. So well, in fact, that Dragon Ball would end up recycling the setup of Super Alien/Crotchety Old Man/Spunky Young Woman for one of the best dynamics they ever wrote.

This is not a copy/paste; Cheelai, Leemo, and Broly are all distinctly separate characters. but you can still feel the barebones aesthetic of Tights, Omori, and Jaco in their dynamic.

So. Yeah. Overall, for what it is, it's a cute little short story about a group of characters just living lives in the world of Dragon Ball. It's the kind of thing that the franchise needs more of, and still does to this day: An opportunity to flesh out the universe a little but also just to let us live in it through the eyes of someone else.

#dragon ball #jaco the galactic patrolman #jaco #tights #omori

[fum1ku]

TOXIC TRAITS - HQ BOYS

ft. kiyoomi sakusa, koushi sugawara, atsumu miya, daichi sawamura, tobio kageyama, kei tsukishima

tw: toxic relationship, arguments, cursing

pt. 2 where everyone kisses and makes out makes up, anyone?

KIYOOMI: silent treatment. perhaps kiyoomi’s fight or flight reaction stemmed from his inability to communicate well. but, that didn’t feel completely true. he could be blunt; honestly saying what was on his mind to anyone. but, when it came to you, he was just.. silent. you’d beg and plead, scream or shout, say anything and you wouldn’t hear a word back from him. it hurt. it tore deep into your chest; finding itself a resting spot in the pit of your stomach. would someone who truly loved you really do this to you?

KOUSHI: love bombing. sugawara really didn’t mean to. he didn’t know how much he’d ever smothered you until he heard someone actually say something about it. at first you thought it was just sweet, random acts of kindness from him. his love language shining through, at most. the expensive gifts, the rush of compliments he’d give you, the aching feeling of his arms wrapping around you for the 5th time in that moment. but, no—it was more than that. all of it was meaningless; hallow. not a second thought put into it besides his desperation to win you. to have you. he was so desperate to not let you slip away that he forgot what he had ever felt for you in the first place: love.

ATSUMU: toxic jealousy. atsumu miya had been popular with girls since high school. and of course it didn’t stop when he joined the msby jackals. if anything, he had been more popular with women now than he had been in his entire life. but, he always said it didn’t matter. he always told you “you’re all i need. no stupid fan girls can get in the way of that. i have you, and that’s all i want.” all he wants. but that all fades away after your first actual fight. who even remembers what it was about? it didn’t matter anymore. sitting in the bleachers watching your boyfriend prepare for his next match, you could see as a swarm of overzealous girls came running towards him. instead of his usual wave of acknowledgment and turning away to head for a more private area, he dove deep into the attention. he soaked up each compliment from every girl in the crowd with a sly smirk on his face. he accepted every picture he was asked to take; putting his hand around her waist, letting her kiss his cheek or feel his stupid muscles through his jersey. he did all of this knowing you had been there waiting; watching. he did all of this, not feeling a single bit of remorse up till the second he watched as hot tears streamed down your face and you ran out of the arena. shit. he had really fucked up.

DAICHI: overprotective. it was sweet daichi cared. really, it was. he’d place a firm hand around your waist when walking past guys in the street because he knew it made you feel safe. he’d have you sit a few rows back in the bleachers when watching his games “just in case”. and he’d always make sure you made it home safe after work or school. but, it soon turned into more than just those silly protective things. sometimes he made you feel like you couldn’t think or plainly act for yourself. everything had a risk to him; a risk that wasn’t worth taking with you. you tried to reason with him, but it never made sense to him in the way it did to you. he just wanted you to be safe after all, right?

TOBIO: anger issues. tobio didn’t mean to snap. it just.. well, happened. he loved you—he loves you— so much. he never wanted to see you cry; he never wanted to be the reason why you cried. but it had been a long day. practice had left him dead and dry. it had been back-to-back interviews, multiple photoshoots, and so many fucking autographs. today had taken everything out of him. as shallow as all of those things sounded, it was.. overstimulating, to say the least. kageyama couldn’t think of a better word to describe it; to name exactly what he felt. but when he came home and saw you in the kitchen; dishes stacked high, the pot on the stove bubbling over, the heat that overtook every single room in the apartment—he snapped. he lost it. you had opened your mouth to greet him and before you were able to say anything, all of the frustrations from today started pouring out of his mouth.

“fucking damnit. what the hell are you even doing, y/n? it’s a thousand fucking degrees in here with the stove on and it’s boiling over. fucking shit. i’m exhausted and i can’t even come home to have some damn peace in my own fucking house. what the actual hell?” his words burned through his throat, leaving a bitter taste on the tip of his tongue.

you said nothing as you turned the stove off, and walked straight past him.

“y/n—” he stuttered. “i’m—fuck— i’m so sorry. today was rough and i just..”

he looked down at you to see your body shaking; tears streaming down your face. he fucked up.

KEI: lack of communication. that best summed up kei’s entire life. including his life with you. one small argument and he was gone. vanished. nowhere to be found. not until you’d find him in some tucked away corner of your shared apartment. or outside the building during the evening. you could try your best to say something to him—anything—but it didn’t matter. he’d only talk to you on his own terms. but, what he was thinking? what he was feeling? that was a mystery to you. you could pour your heart out to him about how lost you felt; how much of a mystery his emotions were to you even after being together for so long. didn’t matter. he couldn’t piece together a string of words to give back to you. and that was going to be his downfall.

© fum1ku 2024.

⁂ taglist: none at the moment ! let me know if you wanted to be tagged for anything<3 my requests are always open too !!

#haikyuu #haikyu x reader #haikyuu angst #haikyuu anime #karasuno #sawamura daichi #daichi sawamura #daichi sawamura x reader #sugawara koushi #koushi sugawara #sugawara x reader #haikyuu sugawara #kageyama tobio #kageyama x reader #tobio kageyama x reader #sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #miya atsumu #miya atsumu x reader #atsumu x reader #hq x reader #haikyu angst #angst #x reader #haikyuu x reader #hq x you #hq atsumu #hq angst #haikyuu kiyoomi #haikyuu daichi

[murainhell]

Helluva Boss Spoilers!

The longer it's been since Full Moon was released, the more I think I like the fight. The writing and acting is incredible, they have done a fantastic job.

I know some people have taken my drawing as Blitzo being the one who acted wrong, while my friends think I'm blaming Stolas because I defend Blitzo when they complain about him. But no, I'm not taking sides. They are both wrong and at the same time right and their reactions are perfectly justified. They are two complex characters with complicated traumas that are clashing at the worst time. As a psychologist, I'm loving all of this. 

All of Stolas' opening dialogue is correct. You can tell he's been thinking about it for a long time, practicing, figuring out exactly what he wanted to say. That's great. The only problem is that when you practice a conversation, in your head nobody answers you. There were two possible outcomes, that Blitzo would say yes and they would see what happens after that together, or that he would reject him and there was no longer any reason to continue the conversation.

But Blitzo reacts in a way he didn't expect. Blitzo begs him not to change anything. “I can do better.”

The entire HB team has done a brilliant job of letting us feel Blitzo as a kid saying the same thing to his father. By now he is flooded by his own trauma. He doesn't accept the gift, he wants everything to stay the same. He wants the book, because:

It's something that works for them, it's something that is simple, why change it? Changing it is uncharted territory, and his past relationships have been complicated. But Stolas doesn't really know about those relationships.

Having the book is an excuse to see each other, it's a chain that binds them together as long as Blitzo needs it for his work. It means Stolas won't abandon him, they have a deal. But for Stolas that same tether is unbearable, because he knows what it's like to be tied down in a relationship, he's suffered the effects of that with Stella, and that means he's condemning Blitzo to the same situation, turning him into the monster he feels he is. But Blitzo doesn't really know that.

Believing it's a lie, a role-play, hurts Stolas, but how to blame Blitzo when he believes he's unlovable? He hates himself, how can Stolas be serious?

And I was hurt when Stolas said that for Blitzo it's always about sex... Bird boy, that's all he knows with you. And you know he thinks you're only there for the sex too, he tells you that in S1E7! Use your words to make him understand!!! 

But Stolas believes that everything he is witnessing is the answer. And he gives up. He's saying goodbye... ready to disappear from Blitzo's life, abandoning him when he can't give him what he asks for, when he's not enough. 

The reaction of both is understandable: Blitzo is ready for a fight (his way of communicating), he reacts poorly to the fact that Stolas is sending him out of his life because in the end he's confirming that rich people are like that, he's been a plaything for a while and now he's left behind; Stolas shuts down, he reacts poorly because he's been suffering yelling and hitting things and insults from Stella for years. 

And it breaks my heart. “Just look my way” Stolas, he's doing it. Blitzo is screaming and crying but he's looking at you. He's mad, but you just have to listen to him. Really listen to him. Because Blitzo has every right in the world to be upset, everything he says is true.

Stolas has dropped an emotional bomb on him, one he wasn't prepared for because in his head no one would want that with him. And then, without giving him time to process, to think, he's dismissing him.

He charges his fury at the social rift between them, but it's just that that difference has existed for as long as he can remember. Blitzo was sold to be a playmate for Stolas. Their relationship began within an abuse of power, where Blitzo sells his body for the book. Stolas is privileged enough not to have thought of any of that until now. It's not that he thinks badly of Stolas (although in his eyes, Stolas is confirming it by sending him away, he's a broken toy), it's facts. They need to put them on the table to grow. 

But Stolas is also within his rights not to listen when that's the tone he's using with him. He's using his coping mechanism to endure the fights with Stella. Blitzo is also confirming his worst fears; sending him away, removing that source of emotional damage he's suffering, is understandable, though by doing that he robs Blitzo of the opportunity to choose and make himself heard. 

Still, they needed this fight. Let's face it, they were not at all in a situation to start a serious relationship. They need it to know what they want, spend time without obligations and chains (as free equals) and to have space to have a real conversation. Because they don't talk, they don't have emotionally vulnerable conversations, where they can understand why the other is the way they are. 

I firmly believe they're going to figure it out. I believe in them. But we'll have to wait. In the meantime, don't hate any of them for reacting like complex souls.

Let's be Team Stolitz.

#helluva boss #helluva boss spoilers #full moon spoilers #helluva blitzo #helluva stolas #stolitz #helluva boss meta #i guess?

[captainofthetidesbreath]

I feel like, with the season's plot since Kozma's death being so dense and breakneck and with it being the final season and all, it's easy to feel like it's silly or a waste or inefficient to devote an entire episode to just the party with only oblique references to what's happening in the Highest Light via Saskia. It feels like a lot to dedicate to dancing and singing in Stationary Hill, so seemingly (doing heavy lifting, that word) far removed from the rest of the plot.

But, I think it's important to really spend time with Midst. There's the narrative pacing reason (a quick breath before we really start racing) and there's the reasons of setting the stage for our final act (it is to where we are returning to end all this), but crucially: it is important to see all this, for Saskia.

Shindig is for Saskia and her arc and her motivations the way that Fault is for Spahr and all his. Saskia is a major character, and one deeply tied to the narrative of a protagonist and to place and to the thematic structures, so spending time developing what it is that drives her choices at a granular level is important.

When she makes that decision to pull the lever and shred those beads, this is what is at the forefront of her mind. Saskia is very rooted in the community in Midst, in the people that she is doing all this for. She says to them all in Weather: "I am proud to call Stationary Hill my home, no matter what happens next. I'm here for you, and you're here for me, and there's no other group of people I'd rather be with right now. I'm sorry I couldn't do better for you." In Wake, she is full of "almost heartbreaking honor" and pride that everyone wishes to stay to rebuild Stationary Hill. She sets off for the Highest Light in Breakfast because she wants to move actively protect Midst from the Trust.

She is dedicated to the people of Midst, through and through, and it is the root of all her actions. She hopes for and works toward the fall of the Trust, but more than that, she hopes that the people of Midst will thrive and works toward protecting their futures.

She is in the Central Vault in the Highest Light, but she is also halfway across the cosmos, dancing and singing with these this community she loves more than anything. When she looks Weepe in the eye and pulls that lever, to destroy what remains of this Vault and with it the Trust, and at least part of (maybe all of) herself as well, she is hearing the laughter and their joy of the people on Midst. She knows that the Trust, that Weepe, will come to destroy that eventually.

We need to spend all that time at that party because that is what Saskia is experiencing as she moves toward shred. We need to know what she is choosing, to remember very clearly why she is doing this, to see in real-time what it is she has to lose if they fail here. It is all together at that party that is happening right then.

#god I've thinking about this since fucking after Breach but I've been so fatigued so I haven't had time to write it #But I gotta throw it down quick before we get back to Stationary Hill this week (per the Friday teaser and also just... everything) #god this could be better written #but I've been thinking about this and like I feel like people may feel it odd to spend a WHOLE episode on a party with all the other shit #but like this is important! we have to really be reminded why Saskia is doing this #Saskia Del Norma #Midst #Midst podcast #Midst things

[meanbossart]

Do Drow and Astarion ever argue? Not necessarily over silly things, but serious stuff, like things going on in their relationship or, for example, due to a misunderstanding. If so, how do they act during those times? Overall, I just would like to know what they're like if they happen to get mad at each other lol.

Oh absolutely LOL arguing might as well be a pillar of how they... Progress their communication? If that makes any sense.

They are both abrasive in their own ways: DU drow in his brashness and Astarion with his quick temper. The former easily misses signs and sublety and the latter frustrates easily when trying to explain them to him. It is almost entirely In Astarion's camp to keep open communication going and pry DU drow's feelings and thoughts out of him, because he otherwise does not express them properly.

Something I found noteworthy about Astarion's character in-game, is that he is very good at being vulnerable when your relationship progresses - he is good at communicating his needs, wants, and seemingly at processing his own feelings and being upfront about them with you. DU drow, on the other hand, very much isn't. His internal world is a complete mystery to him, as is everyone else's - and Astarion consistently puzzles him and catches him off-guard by becoming upset with things he did not expect him to be upset by.

By contrast, he just closes up when he is distressed by something. Astarion has essentially found that the only way to get through to him in times like those is by elevating the stakes of the conversation - having a minor outburst, or prying and prodding until he gets some frustrated, reluctant admitance of emotional vulnerability out of him - he then privately puzzles it together into something cohesive and then disengages so they can tackle it calmly. This is, of course, a very clinical summary of a very organic concept, but it's more or less the gist of it. There are a few examples of it In A Novel Experience.

Ironically, this often makes it seem like Astarion starts every argument they have, but it's not quite as it seems!

Obviously there are absolutely instances where Astarion is the one being unreasonable, but he's much better at catching himself and quietly arriving at resolutions on his own - self-soothing, essentially. DU drow, on the other hand, wants to sweep every conflicting emotion he has under the rug, and Astarion realizes this would doom them as a couple if he allowed it to happen.

He can express his love and adoration for his partner and his friend concisely and proudly, but he staggers when it comes to feelings of insecurity, weakness, guilt, fear, the works. He will use every euphemism before he ever admits to any of it - not to mention the times when he can't even pin-point what those emotions are.

It takes someone who can navigate around all those eggshells to have an earnest conversation with him about it. This would be very frustrating for any partner to deal with and Astarion would have probably given up by now if DU drow didn't try very hard to meet him in the middle - he sees that, and he apreciates it.

They don't argue like lunatics though, for the record. I don't think they would ever raise a hand at each other or sink to personal insults, they are both more passive aggressive in that regard and feel genuinely bad when they realize they may have crossed a line - there's some nipping, some barking, never biting.

#ask

[swallowprettybird]

Simverse Magazine welcomes you 🎙️💌

Hello, everyone! I want to share with you an idea I have been working on for some time.

Some of you already know, some of you don't, but I'm coming to you with the intention of creating a kind of magazine about life in the sims - about life in the sims universe and your characters in it.

If you like to play gameplay, tell stories, or create art, or are interested in building, or make lookbooks, this is all about you!

More details below 👇

The magazine will be published in an electronic flipbook format at the end of each month.

To give you a better idea, I've highlighted a few sections:

Fancy look - all about fashion and style, about models and lookbooks. If you are a creator you can offer your cc, or if you like to make lookbooks you can make one for the magazine and I'll mentioned you!

You can also choose how the page with your lookbook will look like or I will do it for you)

examples

Frame code - something similar to the Fancy look, but in this case, cc does not matter - it is creativity and your characters or edits, or any visual experience that comes to the fore.

Maybe it's a portrait, or a rendering, or a game photo. Just send me a picture and I will publish it with you as the author.

examples

Life as it is - all about the life of your sims. If there are any events that happened in your game that you can tell us about, or if your original characters have their own hobbies or adventures, you can tell us about them! I think this can be done in the form of an article. But you can also share your suggestions and we will discuss them.

Time to talk - an interview format in which we will talk to your character and ask a few questions.

Chili pepper news - news about events in the community within the sim universe: challenges, quests, events, anything that unites more than one simmer and their sims. for example: bachelorette show!

It can also be significant events that relate to your game and your universe.

Sleepless town - it's all about rumors, about the game, about its lore and its locals. if you like to explore the game and know a few interesting things or play as the original inhabitants or make makeovers, then this is for you

Time machine - a section created specifically for past eras and simmers playing in decades. Includes all other sections in own way.

Focus - dedicated to real events and the movement associated with them. This is an opportunity to highlight interesting topics or tell about your culture in the form of a sims. Whether in the form of an article or a poster. example: pride month

Comfy space - everything about construction, interiors and lookbooks for build/buy objects.

This is the entire list for now. If you have any thoughts, questions, or suggestions, don't hesitate to ask me about it.

If you have something to share, or have questions or suggestions, please send me a direct message. You can also send a request to my inbox, but please don't hesitate, I'll be happy to see you!

Terms of Use

Please don't claim as your own. I realize that this is not an original idea to make a magazine about sims. But SIMVERSE is really something I work on with interest and love.

Previously @auroragoth has already published a similar magazine before, and we have the same idea of what it could look like.

Thank to her for supporting me! ❤️

DNI: racists, homofobs, terfs and other shit

Please, don't use perma paywalled cc. I want this to be available to every simmer.

#sims 4 #simblereen #ts4 #simblr #simverse #simverse magazine #oc: juliana angel

[blue-ten]

Windows 11 and the Last Straw

Bit of a rant coming up. TL;DR I'm tired of Microsoft, so I'm moving to Linux. After Microsoft's announcement of "Recall" and their plans to further push Copilot as some kind of defining feature of the OS, I'm finally done. I feel like that frog in the boiling water analogy, but I'm noticing the bubbles starting to form and it's time to hop out.

The corporate tech sector recently has been such a disaster full of blind bandwagon hopping (NFTs, ethically dubious "AI" datasets trained on artwork scraped off the net, and creative apps trying to incorporate features that feed off of those datasets). Each and every time it feels like insult to injury toward the arts in general. The out of touch CEOs and tech billionaires behind all this don't understand art, they don't value art, and they never will.

Thankfully, I have a choice. I don't have to let Microsoft feature-creep corporate spyware into my PC. I don't have to let them waste space and CPU cycles on a glorified chatbot that wants me to press the "make art" button. I'm moving to Linux, and I've been inadvertently prepping myself to do it for over a decade now.

I like testing out software: operating systems, web apps, anything really, but especially art programs. Over the years, the open-source community has passionately and tirelessly developed projects like Krita, Inkscape, and Blender into powerhouses that can actually compete in their spaces. All for free, for artists who just want to make things. These are people, real human beings, that care about art and creativity. And every step of the way while Microsoft et al began rotting from the inside, FOSS flourished and only got better. They've more than earned trust from me.

I'm not announcing my move to Linux just to be dramatic and stick it to the man (although it does feel cathartic, haha). I'm going to be using Krita, Inkscape, GIMP, and Blender for all my art once I make the leap, and I'm going to share my experiences here! Maybe it'll help other artists in the long run! I'm honestly excited about it. I worked on the most recent page of Everblue entirely in Krita, and it was a dream how well it worked for me.

Addendum: I'm aware that Microsoft says things like, "Copilot is optional," "Recall is offline, it doesn't upload or harvest your data," "You can turn all these things off." Uh-huh. All that is only true until it isn't. One day Microsoft will take the user's choice away like they've done so many times before. Fool me once, etc.

#microsoft #windows 11 #recall #copilot #linux

[dyke-pollinator]

This is a bit of a personal question so if you don’t want to answer I understand if you just delete this ask but

As a relatively younger trans woman, and especially new to actually exploring my sexuality…at what point do I feel like a lesbian? Like I always feel bad or weird for being attracted to lesbians. It always feels wrong or amoral or like I’m lying in some way idk

I apologize for taking a few days to answer this my dear anon. A combination of Pride and IRL stuff has left me exhausted and I wanted to make sure I really took the time to give you a good answer and my bad for the wall of text you're about to receive lol.

There's a lot I could say about this. For the sake of this post, I'm going to assume that by "younger" you mean both in your transition and your age. Transition is hard. Finding yourself is hard. To answer your question, it takes Time. And I mean this in two specific ways:

Transition is a slow process. As you continue your transition, (whatever that means to you, whether that be social, medical, both, or neither, or something else entirely) you'll find a lot of things just making more sense. The labels might slowly start to be more comfortable. Or maybe they wont, and you'll switch to new ones, but that deeper sense of understanding yourself doesn't really go away (trust me I've changed both my labels and pronouns multiple times now lol). Either way, despite anything else, over time you'll just start to feel more at home, both in your body, and how you present yourself to the world. Now this is both the scary part and the hard part: you have to take steps to find a community who accepts you as you are, and (ideally) with people like you. Yeah this requires you to put yourself out there in a way that will be uncomfortable at first. Yeah, sometimes its going to go poorly, and you'll be rejected, or shunned. And yes, it will take its toll on you mentally, emotionally and (sometimes) physically. Its worth it. Having those people in your life does more than you can know in learning how to love and accept yourself. Having people look you in the eye and tell you that they love you, they see you, you're valid in who you are, no matter what anyone else says, is just so crucial.

You just get older. I know for a lot of people that can be frightening (and like, yeah, sometimes), but I can tell you with full confidence, I LOVE being in my 30s. You couldn't pay me to go back to 20. Your teen years and 20s are fucking hard. You just get so much better at knowing which things to give a shit about in your life and you get the necessary resources to be able to not give a shit. Most days I feel like a lesbian (more of a Dyke but w/e), so I am one, no one can take that from me, and the people who dont like me using that label can fuck off. I wear more masc clothes and have more masc hobbies because I want to and that doesn't define my gender or sexuality. I like doing mutual aid projects, and working on honing my DIY skills. I love the people who are in my life and tell them unapologetically, and I appreciate every day I get to spend with them. As I get older, the more I feel like "me" and the more I learn that in reality, I do love that person. She's actually pretty great.

I hope you can trust me that it gets better. That, in spite of all the pain, all of the heartbreak, the loss and tribulations, its fucking worth it. I know I didn't think so for a long, long time. But my god I am so happy I made it here. You'll get to that point to.

#asks #Gonna tag the shit out of this even when I usually dont since id like folks to see it #trans #transfemme #lgbtq #queer #lesbian #transwomen #lgbtqia #transbian #trans woman #nonbinary

[icewindandboringhorror]

Just curious what the average level of personal investment in these sorts of things is. Like, how much do people usually get into silly stuff like this their friends ask of them? etc. etc. Which I know, only surveying a small sample on a very specific website means I'm not getting an exact average idea lol, but.. curious nonetheless .. Maybe reblog for bigger sample size but also this is not very serious at all/not worth a call to action gbhjbhjb

#which I know this could be context dependent like.. maybe you'd normally dress up but on a week that #you feel sick you wouldn't or etc. etc. - but I mean.. GENERALLY. in the most general average scenario #where you have the average amount of health and free time that you always do. etc. just based on your personality #and level of investment in these things - what on AVERAGE are you most inclined to do #also of course assume they communicate with you ahead of time and are not like planning a part last minute #like 'throw together costume in 5 hours and show up tonight randomly' or etc. I would hope that if we're going with the #AVERAGE of things - most people's friends have better communication skills than springing entire parties #on people last minute lol #assume you have like.. a few days-a week or so to prepare. however ealrly people usually start talking about #birthdays. In my experience it's usually one or two weeks ahead of time. Like 'oh next weekend' or 'oh two weeks from now' etc. #ANYWAY.. feeling a little Sick again of course but still trying to get some photos or something posted #AGAIN i promise I am not going to exlcusively post polls and ntohing else forever hgkjgnekj #I just really really love the ability to post polls and have always my whole life been obsessed with surveying people #I used to think I wanted to do that as a career somehow like.. be one of the people that does psychological interviews #or produce interview asessments for a company or etc. etc. I am always the one friend in the group thats giving out custom made #surveys or asking for other simialr stuff (did you ever take an mbti quiz? how about enneagra #m?? oh yeah I know they're not really scientifically valid or antyhing but like... DID you take them?? huh?? did you??please?? ghjj) #I simply cannot resist.. posting a little poll every once in a while.. as a treat #whilst I still fall behind on like actual content and costumes and stuff gbjhbjh #New poll adventure should be not as much of a wait as the last one was though since I already have the writing #for it really. I just have to do the ms paint sketch. hopefully no unexpected other health issues will get in the way #*** *** *** #< (anytime I do these three star patterns it is an ocd compulsion not me bleeping out words or something just ignore it lol) #(it means something secret in my evil brain just pretend you do not see it. significant only to me) #BUT YEAH.. ... poll... what type of costume party atendee are you? #:0c

[idiosyncraticrednebula]

The backlash against Frozen, which, from my observation, has cooled down (that isn't a joke, I swear-) quite a bit over the past few years, was less based on the quality of the movie itself and more on the fact that its massive success and reach really overshadowed a lot of other movies that came out prior to it and after it and was getting credited for stuff that had already been done before plenty of times, and in many cases, in those exact movies. This is why, to this day, many fans STILL refuse to give Tangled its props without trying to put Frozen down in some way. In their eyes, Tangled should have gotten the glory and accolades Frozen received, but did not, and that made them quite jealous. Overall, Frozen is far from a bad movie. It's a great movie with a great message, characters, music and does actually deserve the success and recognition it got, and some fans need to stop being so salty about it and uplift their fav movies without putting Frozen down so they get the proper appreciation they deserve as well. Although, yes, the credit this movie got for allegedly introducing themes, archetypes and tropes that had already been seen before in Disney, including movies set in a fairytale world with heroines as the protags, was undoubtedly the most annoying part about its success and is part of the reason why many tried to drag this movie and its main leads.

#disney #frozen #txt #ngl i was part of the hate train for a long time too #not as much as others tho but still i was one of these people who thought frozen was overrated af #but now i realized i was kinda full of it for that opinion #when i saw it the first time the major gripe i had with how many songs it had #but now i'm actually fine with that #idk my stance on this movie had always been a weird one #i have always contradicted myself when it came to this movie #until recently when i've finally begun to embrace it #i have always liked it and not liked it? idk. it's been weird #i do want to see thiw franchise get expanded but i'd prefer a tv series #and i think frozen ii needs a retcon ngl that movie was a whole shitshow writing wise #and the message was not as impactful i'm sorry but it's in line with the typical “the power is actually in me” bullshit #it's some selfish nonsense and is against the main theme of almost every disney movie #which is about how your dreams will come true if you have faith AND do for others. something even better will happen or you will want #something else entirely #it's about selflessness love and sacrifice whether it's romantic platonic familiar or even related to the community as a whole #but anyways that's an entirely different point #so yeah frozen isn't a terrible movie you guys. i think the anger is misplaced

[accidental-spice]

In the words of Jessica Day, "Work sucked today, my friends"

#at least im 90% sure she said that once #anyways it sucked. a LOT #i i paid for something i shouldnt have causing my boss to have to reimburse me and they were. less than pleased #and like i get that i should have communicated better but maybe so should you guys? #i dont know. i think im not completely in the wrong about this but its hard to tell right now #i just want to cry and not think about it ever again #at the moment only one of those is happening #i just. it cant have been ENTIRELY my fault #and i honestly dont know why its such a big deal #but my boss and i have VERY different minds #uuuuuuugggggghhhhhhhhh #i feel like everything turned out fine but i also feel like its all my fault and everything sucks #and maybe i should stand up for myself but. i do. not. want. to #i KNOW im gonna say my thoughts on it and theyre gonna say something else and ill be like uuuuhhhhh #sure yes whatever im clearly wrong #sigh

[snekdood]

yall are willing to die for trans women and not trans men and we should talk about it actually

#transandrophobia #you'll do anything to protect trans women but dont have that same energy for trans men. interesting. #anyways i think the reason this is is bc ppl like this think bc we're men we dont need to be helped or protected #that somehow we should have figured out how to do this on our own. that we dont need community bc we're already solid and tough enough #which is weird like. how are you trans friendly but then you dont do any other basic progressive shit like #getting rid of gender roles entirely instead of now instead applying them to trans people also? ?? #like you dont get to be all 'men should express their emotions and be vulnerable' and then reinforce the traditional gender roles on- #trans men still. like have you or havent you decondtructed that shit in your head or did you iust see someone reblog something that seema #correct w/o even doing any critical thinking or self reflecting or anything on your end at all #i didnt suddenly become made of rock and become invulnerable when i transitioned. bc that narrative for men in general is inaccurate- #and harmful. and even if i did become super buff and capable of mowing down my enemies that wouldnt mean i dont suddenly need community #that doesnt mean i become immune to bullets or that i dont need a space to express my emotions regarding being trans n shit #like yall really just want to leave us out here to die it seems like. we have nowhere to go. no real community bc yall wont give us the #time of day or compassion or anything. you think 'men bad' and thats the deepest your political analysis goes as far as im concerned. #and if thats the case how much better are you than a terf who just decided they were 'okay' with trans women? #p sure this post was inspired from a trans guy literally being a meat shield for other trans ppl and no one gave a fuck.

[energysynergymatrix]

Ok I bit the bullet and made an Ososan OC and his full name is Len Kanemaru.

He's the so-called perfect guy, pretty boy barista type turned up to 11, who might as well have manifested from thin air, who has genuine fanboys and fangirls, and most of the Matsunos want him fucking dead. He's oblivious to both of these aspects of the public opinion and seems kind of empty headed for the most part. He is also struggling just as badly as them but literally no one would believe him if he told them.

He also wants to kiss the oldest DESPITE the fact that his brothers are so jealous of him for being so perfect. Shenanigans ensue.

If you want a more detailed write up about him read the cut.

OK SO . Len is a guy trying his best to pretend to be an adult despite wanting to be anything but it. Unlike the Matsunos who dont pretend to be an adult and are anything but it, Len is trying to push through adult life while wanting to return to childhood when things were easier.

Sure he has a job as barista, but he's poor with money, spending it like he's still a teenager, struggles to maintain contact with people he’s befriended outside of work, DESPITE thinking people hating him is the end of the world, and surprisingly, still lives with his parents.

The thing is that he's REALLY good at pretending to have it all together. He has quite a few fanboys and fangirls and is often described as a prince. (It’s because of his charmingly good customer service skills that is his only real social experience post highschool.) But, despite being in his mid twenties, hes kind of poorly equipped socially and is unable to pick this up, despite it being clear to literally everyone.

(Like he thinks he’s being bad at pretending to be a well put together adult, and then turns around and can handle rush pretty well understaffed, not make any mistakes, and still keep a pleasant demeanor that his admirers swoon over. Anytime someone does act like a fan trying to get his love it’s met with confusion and just. “Huh.” more than anything. He doesn’t even reject them because he doesn’t realize so many people are in love with him)

This includes quite a few Matsunos who are jealous of him for being so popular (and admittedly kind of cool), find his princely yet oblivious attitude almost annoying, and somewhat creepy because of how much he knows about them from highschool. And those who aren't irritated by him are relatively apathetic towards him.

The only reason theyre so aware of him is the fact that he and Todomatsu worked at the same cafe before the latter quit. It was after he quit that Len properly met the sextuplets, having a chance encounter with the boys sometime after. Todomatsu was already irritated by him, by again, seeing above, but also because he already seemed intimately familiar with Totty during his highschool years.

It's like they had a whole classmate just manifest into being while skipping the "actually go to class together" part.

(They did actually go to school together but literally no one knew he existed during then. Not to their fault though, Len was basically that one vine that's like "I can't I have so much to do tomorrow" *fucks around on the keyboard. Because of that Len ended up being bad with people by the time he graduated and was ushered into the work force by his parents. As a result he can't really keep friends, often times contact dying off on accident. A lot of the time spent working is him TRYING his best to maintain relationships as an adult but it never really works out. Deep down Len wishes he could redo highschool, so he could not only get this skills but also find some memories that he so clearly missed out on. Because he willingly opted out of making those therefore other people don’t remember him. As far as he knows he hasn’t really had a friend since middle school.)

But like after the two and Totty's brothers encountered each other in public a whole bomb got dropped and nothing was the same.

Despite generally not liking him the Matsunos keep him around, mostly due to Totty's insistence saying they can use him (so they cant kill him yet!) but because Len is kind of bad with people in general outside of having a fandom (that, again, came with his customer service skills), and the Matsunos are the Matsunos, this never ever goes well.

Despite this and how much shenanigans the Matsunos end up dragging him into, he considers them friends since its the closest relationship he's maintained outside of his house. On top of that, he almost admires them for being NEETs. He's kind of ashamed of it, because he knows they have to be an adult, but because he's struggling so much as an adult, he wants nothing more than to be like them. He wants to stop being an adult and return to highschool.

It's why he takes to Osomatsu so much, since he seems most open about how shitty he is and how much he doesnt want to grow up. Like weirdly enough, his man-child behavior is what makes Len likes him so much. Sure he also has a big heart and loves his family, and Len can acknowledge Oso’s best aspects, but it’s the worst parts of him that loves.

And that admiration for having his character laid out flat and embracing his childishness despite his age and situation, how he practically will just grow up when he wants to rather than when he has to (unlike Len), makes the perfect man fall for the loser guy.

The more he hangs around the Matsunos the more they encourage him to tap into his evil side, and may end up making him worse, but for now he's Mr Perfect and most of them hate him for that. He doesn't get the message though so he's just kind of hanging around them for now.

Anyways he and Osomatsu are literally I'm Glad You're Evil Too to me . And also look at these sketches of him .

#txt #ososan #osomatsu-san #osomatsu san oc #Len Kanemaru (OC) #my ocs #my art #lenoso #oc x canon #when i think more in depth into his individual relationships with the sextuplets i will probably do a better write up on that #i think the sextuplets are ultimately conflicted on him but because of that conflict #especially given their opinions before they learned more about him #it comes out in hostility and jealousy #mainly from Todomatsu #and maybe choromatsu i think #ichimatsu and len actually relate to each other a lot #especially since len is kind of struggling with what ichimatsu was going through in highschool (except as an adult) #but because they dont really communicate well either they cant really have their :handshake: moment until much later #i think osomatsu is the one who bridges their gaps though and helps clear the air on both sides mutual jealousy #with len and oso having a heart to heart over some drinks (that the former paid for by blowing an entire pay check) #(Len being horrible with money moment) #but again thats much later . and i think since ososan is a bit focused show anyways #the inherent bit of Len pining for Oso while he has better suitors trying to get his attention. #all while the brothers are wishing the worst upon him #is very funny #its like nyaachan and just dont except for the part where everyone liked nyaachan because none of them like him #(osomatsu might be a bit more conflicted on him though . something something oso might have actually remembered him then. again ill think) #but theyre all kind of oblivious to everyones exact feelings going on so they just kind of hang out and hope #len will hook them up with someone (he will not) #if u want to hear more about him or have questions send me asks... i would love to share and think more about him.

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

Ngl it's weird finishing the Knuckles tv show and going to tumblr about it only for people (even who I consider bigger name fans) who also watched the entire show to claim that it "confirmed Knuckles Wachowski"

Like

I'm sorry

Did you somehow miss the part in the last episode where Knuckles had a whole montage of hanging with the Whipple family and Wade and saying "home" or something?

#sonic the hedgehog #knuckles series #knuckles the echidna #knuckles 2024 #knuckles whipple #sonic movie #knuckles 2024 spoilers #knuckles series spoilers #fandom wank #Sorry do you just think that this entire show was a sidequest so Knuckles could go back to the Wachowski house and be their kid now like #nothing ever happened? #In the show where episode 1 clearly showed that Knuckles couldn't mesh with the household and that Sonic considered him a roommate? #This place was not home for him. The show was about him finding home. How is the Wachowski household Knuckles' home after he had an epiphany #that his home was with the whipple family?? #Ah wait sorry how could I forget. Sonic fans are just used to absorbing canon with a toothpick and picking the parts they like and then #claiming their headcanons for filling in the gaps are canon #Only the things they personally like are what happened of course #Sorry for being salty I'm just annoyed. Like you can have whatever headcanons or fanon you want. Heck I loved all those 'maddie is knuckles' #mom' comics and whatnot. I'm not even saying we have to interpret the media the same way. But Knuckles having a montage and calling being #with the whipple family 'home' happened. That happened. #A friend and I are running a bet that most people won't acknowledge that it happened unless Sonic movie 3 shoves it in our faces #The universe tests me every day by having put me into Sonic fandom. It is a constant test of one's soul not only to exist in proximity of a #community who you often disagree on big points with‚ but to watch a bunch of loud people claim things are canon but only accept textual #evidence when it serves them. Or to explain a little better #to watch a fandom try to build an 'accepted idea' of what canon is like that becomes so divorced from actual canon that you get people #saying that it's canon and ignoring anything that doesn't fit it because 'writing bad anyways' #Like guys please I am grasping your shoulders. If you don't like canon just say 'fuck you I'm going to make content of this because I think #it's better'. You don't have to assert that everything you believe is canon and ignore when it's not #i just be ramblin

[martilyongabo]

EO3 (partial) lineup - November-December 2022

Peak MAbo is collaborating with your best friend for a(n admittedly unfair) final project (for web development!!!! an elective!!!), saying you would post it, forgetting about it for a year, posting it on Artstation and forgetting about it again.

As always, AC drew the lineart, and I colored. Designs were more of a collaborative effort between the two of us!

Probably should have shared this when the HD collection came out... anyway it's here now!

Some design ramblings under the cut :0! There's a lot i wanna share especially given that we recently did a soft rewrite that departed from the guild system entirely ^^" and EO3's cast was actually one of the first that we had, surprisingly!

Micah is quite clearly alt gladiator 3, but in an entirely different profession. instead of going into the labyrinth, he works in what i imagine would be an analogue to the forge in Tharsis (aka helping people make things busted af). It probably works best for his character, since he was always a gizmo freak even in his first iteration! geomagnetic (or submagnetic, ugh) gizmo is AC's idea!

Micah's brother, Eva, is a very loose spin on zodiac 3, but with a wayyyy lighter colour palette. Admittedly, i did steal a little bit of the spiritmaster's coat from bravely default, but AC managed to spin it back to resembling the original coat that the class had. Eva works as an astronomer, hence the little telescope he always has on him.

Next up we have Eva's protégé, Miri (who was imported from AC's stories)! Theoretically, Miri would be a second zodiac, and, after watching some EO3 speedruns, would probably be really strong in the earlygame when working with Eva in an actual playthrough. AC's design heavily borrows from Patho II's Grace, hence the coat + dress combo.

Following Miri in this lineup would be Noa, her admittedly very lazy but clingy sibling. I think it's apparently here that we didn't have much time to filter what a believable design would be in an EO setting, given that Noa's clothes were translated directly from our designs of them in school attire. It's actually funny how for we diverged from their original portrait (buccaneer 3) to the point that she is literally unrecognizable. Truly a pipeline from good sea boy to j-horror twist character.

Last in the OC section would be Masaru, who recently found work for the Senatus. Admittedly he does have another example of "incongruent time period" clothing (the jacket), though it's a lot more reworkable than Noa. We also made his design a lot less poofy and rugged compared to the original, and I mixed the base and alt color palettes as well to make him less, well, glaringly red. Probably one of the funnier things is that his clothing palette made him blend in more with the likes of Kujura, but given that they work for the same place, it'll probably work out fine.

Now we go onto NPCs, and who better to start than with Flowdia! Admittedly, her art was one of the last ones that we did, hence why her design looks relatively plain (sorry lola). Probably one of the things I would like to add would be more ornate patterns, perhaps of butterflies to tie her closer to Gutrune!

Before we get to the Princess, we gotta get through her bodyguard first! >:0 I honestly don't like Kujura because I answered honestly in his first question, and he said that I was prideful, but AC likes him so he looks really good here. He isn't as rendered here as he is in his portrait, since he was also one of the last characters we made, and I didn't really get to notice that he doesn't have as much value contrast in his clothing as Masaru does. Probably something to think about next time I color him >:0

Next up we have Gutrune!! We decided to make her look more jellyfish-like, while still keeping it a bit uncanny and unsettling. We tried to give her a more traditionally Filipiniana look (mostly on the Maria Clara gown), but we haven't yet made a poncho design that mixes well with butterfly sleeves without looking cluttered. As such, she has a more nightdress-y look here. AC drew in a few tentacles, and I couldn't help but make them look squishy.

Last but not least is Olympia! We wanted to align her appearance more with her background, hence her altered design :0 Having rips of the artbook easily accesible online also helped us flesh out her hair in particular, since we didn't want to just transplant Gutrune's hairstyle onto her.

And that's all of them!!! I'm honestly hoping to draw more EO characters, though Seyfried's design scares me (honestly the reason why I couldn't make a Reversed Emperor comic).

Currently, I've made a lot of progress on the EO4 game, and I'm excited to draw up the three N-turned-PCs + Xiuan >:'0!!! I don't think I can ever get as cool as Morika tho. If you've come this far and aren't into EO, please check out their blog!! Their art is stunning and has come a really long way :")

#etrian odyssey #etrian odyssey 3 #etrian odyssey iii #idylls of the abyssal forest #gawang abo #colorist #noa minjin #miranda minjin #gutrune #olympia #kujura #flowdia #micah abdelghani #eva abdelghani #I'LL GIVE THEM SURNAMES WHEN I NEED TO #honestly why i never got to finalize work on the CR x RGU series is not just because I wanted to animate it #but also because i had to give the students surnames #like ye they're ~10 characters but surnames don't come easy to me >:'000 #and i'm super particular with names so :AAA: #issa trap i'd rather sidestep entirely #also if you follow me for CR... hi i'm sorry but i reverted back to my oldest brainrot to cope with thesis + the new game updates #NOT TO SAY THE NEW UPDATES ARE BAD #but i realized i cared more about crafting a story than following along the trail of another :") #i still want to work on the CR stories and animate them and put them up! #it's just that i need time to recoup i guess #community is also really buck wild. I don't think i ever got over the whiplash of them saying “we will not play *ends up excited anyway*” #it's ok if u enjoy it naman but the speed in which they get stoked for updates was like “:”D? i thought we were protesting. what y'all doin #i'm sorry if u read thru all these tags and saw me processing my trauma with the cr fandom #i'm doing a lot better now!!! please have a good day as well and take care of yourself! #EDIT 04.27.2024 THEY ALL HAVE SURNAMES. HURRAH!

[giantkillerjack]

Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!

You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!

You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!

You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!

Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!

Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!

So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.

Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!

Better accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues should suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.

Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.

Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*

Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...

Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.

Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.

Better not get confident.

Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)

Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people

- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties

- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations

- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you

- you might start loving the effect you have on a room

- you might enjoy conversations more

- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently

- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations

- you might stop apologizing so much.

- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.

Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!

Why, it would be carnage!!

In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things!

- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.

- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.

- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.

- You might know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.

You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.

So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to take to cut your awkward self some slack for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.

#social skills #i have a few posts now in my ' social skills' tag #original #maybe eventually I will compile them and polish them in some meaningful way. I know what I want to call the book title #in big text it'll say 'I'M AUTISTIC' and then beneath that in smaller text 'And I Have Better Social Skills Than You' #or something to that effect. and the cover of the book will be me making an exaggerated smug face like the little rascal I am #challenging the viewer to pick up the book and see if they can prove me wrong. #and then the entire first section of the book is about how actually the issue with our society's social skills is the harsh judgment #for people who have trouble communicating and not the other way around. I don't actually think I'm the #most charismatic person in the world by a very long shot. but i do know that I have put more thought into my social skills than #most allistic people and frankly i have surpassed most of them. not because i am more persuasive or smooth or funny #(tho i am persuasive and funny lol) but bc i have questioned which social functions are more restriction than utility. #and instead i have focused my energy on actively learning how to make people feel safe. i feel social rules would benefit all people by #being a little more autistic tyvm. i don't think every person should dedicate themselves to being better at communicating #i think people should dedicate themselves to being kind and patient to everyone regardless of their ability to communicate #I think our society wrongly links communication ability to intelligence and intelligence to level of humanity. #when in fact all three of those things are fucking unrelated and connecting them inevitably leads to #really fucked up views on disabled people that hurt us. and then with that aspect of the book firmly understood and established I would #go on to recommend some ways to make socializing easier and more fulfilling (and less shameful and terrifying) for all kinds of people #it wouldn't be a book about Leaning In To Succeed in Business or 'here's how to avoid being the awkward loner at a party' #it'd be a book about how if you see someone alone at a party here's how to invite them to join your group without pressuring them #stuff like 'hot tip! if someone takes a while to type or speak a full sentence - talking over them b4 they can finish makes u an asshole!' #I know that a lot of people cannot or don't want to dump a lot of skill points into socializing like i did and they shouldn't have to in #order to experience basic dignity and respect. if we treat people like that then we just validate that people - especially #autistic children and elders and disabled people of manu varieties - have to suffer unless they learn all these arbitrary bullshit rules #and a lot of them are arbitrary bullshit! one of the reasons I throw people off so much is because I harmlessly break a lot of social rules #but I know I'm doing it and I'm not ashamed and people just don't know what to do with that! but a lot of them like it actually!! #i think it's a relief to be around someone so openly and unrelentingly weird bc what am I gonna do? judge you for being weird?? #I only care if you're kind. not necessarily 'nice' or passive. Kind. Brave enough to care about people being treated well. Kind. #also I recognize that at least some of my ability to be openly weird is white privilege so that's important to acknowledge too