#but uhhhh i am tired of being treated like shit maybe???

[bending-sickle]

asking my mother if she wants to come along to see an exhibition in the city tomorrow and she’s like yes! but i will only see the building, i don’t think i’ll go see the exhibition.

my mother who birthed me, then why the fuck are you coming along? to stand outside and time pressure me while i go see the exhibition? are you going to do like last time, so i don’t get to see the whole exhibition?

and she’s like what time? and as i start answering the question she…fucking…leaves.

#but oh no SHE’S not rude #and i texted her today #because she was in the city #how i was going to ask if she wanted to go tomorrow #knowing she doesn’t like going twice in a row because it’s tiring #and her response is Well Ask :)))) #like…what…kind of answer…is that #i had actually been looking forward to going alone #but thought since she’d said she was interested #it was only polite to ask her along #but uhhhh i am tired of being treated like shit maybe??? #anyway #it’s a Mucha exhibition #i am very excite #will absolutely enjoy the fuck out of it alone #but also hi i spent 4 hours at the gym today i am ded to the world #randomness

[orange-waterfalls]

Hugs From The Captain!

Captain Magnum x gn!reader

A/N: hi. it's me. i'm not dead! which is an awful surprise considering the amount of people who WROTE MY OBITUARY yesterday, PREEMPTIVELY in case I did die. but i didn't! so suck on that.(yes this is a markiplier quote no I do not remember what video) anyways here's a soft Magnum fic with a lil angst. as a treat. after fucking MONTHS. I have been kind of experimenting? with like more banter or realistic type of dialogue. just like. lemme know if u think it's good. Rated T for cursing. Fluff and sort of angst. Uhhhh tw: self-doubt, tw: guns, tw: alcohol, tw: drugs. Reader doesn't like. Use guns. Or drink. Or do drugs. Uhhhh I think that's it enjoy!!!

Word Count: 2.8k

Hugs From The Captain!

---

“Good job, matey!” Magnum yells out when you drop a large sack of coins on the ground. You breathe heavily and your arms are shaking, but by God you carried that shit onto the ship. In the middle of a gunfight, no less!

You don't respond, preferring to hit the deck as bullets continue to fly. You cover your ears with your hands and squeeze your eyes shut tight. No matter how long you'd be on this ship, you were sure you'd never get used to this part. You don't know how long you were on the floor, but when you looked again, two other crewmates were on the floor as well and it was silent. You scramble to your feet and look around, sighing when you notice the other ship sailing away.

"Good job, Y/N!" One of your mates says loudly, still on their stomach on the floor. Ah, yes. Gunshots. Ringing in the ears. Love it.

“Thank--!” You’re cut off with a squeak as Magnum squeezes you in a giant bear hug.

“Aw, you’re doin’ fantastic! That was wonderful! I never thought I’d have such a great first mate!” He turns to another crewmate. “...no offense”

“Some taken…” he sighs and rests his cheek in his hand.

"Mag-" you can't finish before you wheeze a breath out, and the captain takes that as a sign he should put you down. He does, holding your shoulders as you sway, and brushes you off a bit.

"Apologies… I get a bit excited," he flushes.

"You're-" you clear your throat, "you're fine."

"Anywho, let's all celebrate tonight! I have some o' that fancy whiskey in me cabin!" He suggests.

"Fancy?" You croak.

"Ya know. Fancy! The bottle actually has a label on it!"

"Right… uh, sure. We can do that. Ok."

"Fantastic!" He reaches out for another hug but freezes when you flinch away. He plays it off by grabbing a rope and telling the crew what to do.

You sigh in relief. You love the guy, you do, but goddamn he is strong. Sometimes a hug is a bit too forceful. You were sure he's cracked a rib before.

You stand next to him, waiting for him to let you know what you can do, but he just smiles and sets a hand on your head.

"Ye were wonderful today. Yer arms must be tired. Ye should go rest," He explains.

"What? No, I'm fine!" You put your hands on your hips. He squints at your arms, and you look down and notice they're shaking. You let them drop.

"Mm. Go rest," he instructs and you cross your arms before sulking away to your room.

--

You lay on your bed completely still. You'd been in this position for the past 4 hours. It had gotten dark and you were sure you missed dinner.

Ok, fine, your arms hurt before.

But now you couldn't feel your body at all. Everything was completely numb. Maybe carrying a giant bag of gold coins that was nearly the same size as you wasn't the best idea.

You hear the door creak and your heartbeat speeds up but you literally do not move a single muscle.

"Mate? Y'alright?" Magnum asks. You groan in response. That was supposed to be a "yeah". He walks over to your bed and you manage to move your neck a bit to look up at him.

"I have a feelin' yer bein' dramatic." He chuckles, a deep sound that echoes through your room.

"How dare you," You whisper, your throat hoarse.

"It can't be that bad."

"Not everyone is a seven foot tall mass of muscle."

"There's a bit I'm pudge in here too, don't worry."

"Whatever."

"We're celebratin'. Ye wanna come or are ye gonna lay here for another 6 hours?"

So it was 6, not 4.

"Magnum, boss, cap, mate, I don't think I can fucking move, much less dance with you people." Because whenever there's drinking, there will be dancing. You've been here long enough to know that is a fact.

"Here, I have an idea."

"Wha--" He lifts you up like you weigh nothing and you feel your face heat up a bit. He pulls you into a bone crushing hug. Literally. You hear and feel your back crack in several places. He drops you onto your feet and, again, you sway a bit, and again, he steadies you. You stretch your limbs, sighing.

"Uh… thanks. Still don't think I can dance, though..." You scuff the floor with the toe of your boot.

"Eh, thas alright. Ye can sing, can't ye? Ye know a few shanties?" He asks.

"... a few…" You say with a smile.

"Good! I'm sure they'll love to hear ye," He gently sets a hand on your shoulder. He sets it gently on purpose. You know because he was about to slam it down with a force that would probably dislocate your shoulder, but stopped a few centimeters away and made sure to let it down soft.

"Mm. We going now?" You pat the hand on your shoulder.

"If ye want."

"Bet. Let's go."

--

After an hour or so, you had exhausted your voice and all the shanties you knew. Magnum was right, the other crewmates were very excited to hear you sing. They even chanted beforehand. As soon as they recognized the songs they joined in they joined in. They started dancing after a while, too.

You're sitting by a light in the corner, sipping your drink. They're having a lot of fun, and you can't help but smile. You feel… safety. Comfort. Affection. Love.

You love these people. This is your family. This is a group of people who you might have never known if your life had gone just a bit differently. You thanked whatever being is out there in the universe for giving you this… family. This feeling of pure joy.

You hear loud creaking towards you as Magnum approaches. You tilt your head back to look up at him behind you.

"Oi. Ye alright?" He inquires in a voice much quieter than you're used to.

"Yeah, I'm good," You say, matching his volume.

"Ye were actin' like we were goin' ta haveta saw yer arms off," He teases.

"I thought you were!" You defend jokingly.

"I'da been the one to do it."

"Woulda given me a cup of beer and said 'it's basically an anaesthetic'."

"Well, of ye drink enough…" you both chuckle. You look down at your drink and swish it around in your cup a little. You can feel him staring at you and it starts to make you uncomfortable.

"What is it?" You snap a bit on accident. He frowns. "Sorry…"

"Ye sure yer alright?" You groan loudly in annoyance.

"Yes! I am absolutely sure, 100%--"

"Tell me and I'll buy ye a treat next time we get to shore." You both stare at each other for a moment. Your arms are in midair since you were cut off from your dramatics. He had an eyebrow raised and was looking at you suspiciously. You drop your hands onto the table.

"I feel useless." You say bluntly.

"Wha? Why? Did someone say somethin'? I'll shoot them out o' me cannon right now!" Magnum panics.

"See, this is why I didn't want to tell you!" You sigh and fall back in your chair.

"Wha d' ye mean?" He furrows his eyebrows.

"There's no… nobody said anything, I just… I got a bag. One bag!"

"Aye! An' that was very--"

"Mags, they each got at least two. Some even had three. You got seven. Plus a chest."

"Ok, so we're a little… little stronger than ye, what about it?"

"I'm not… useful to you! I'm not as strong, I'm not good in a gunfight, I can barely talk my way out of anything--"

"Ye talked John out of his potatoes."

"I thought his name was Jack?"

"Eh, he-he never corrects anyone. I called him James the other day and nothin'."

"Huh. But that doesn't count. I know him."

"Ye are useful, and even if ye weren't, yer a valuable… valuable? Yea, valuable member of this crew. I haven't seen 'em dance this much in months. I haven't smiled this much in months. Ye are a very important part of me ship. Crew. Me crew."

"...Mags, are you drunk?"

"Not the point. Wha I'm sayin' is we love ye and now we're attached and ye can never leave."

"Ah, I see. C'mon. Bedtime," You stood up and walked over to Magnum, putting a gentle hand on his arm. He squints at it.

"No," He looks up at you.

"Mags…" You warn.

"No," He crosses his arms and leans back.

"Magnum," You cross your arms. Is he really doing this right now?

"Call me captain," He smiles brightly.

"...I'm not doing that," You can't help but smile back.

"Please?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Why do you want me to?"

"I like it."

"Ok, Mr. authority complex."

"Stop psychoal… psychoan… psy--"

"Psychoanalyzing."

"Yeah that."

"Only if you get to bed."

"...bah."

"Bah, yourself. Stand up."

"I'm a lil tipsy, it's fine." He says, swaying a little. You put your hand back on his arm and he stares at it as you lead him to his cabin.

"You'll thank me in the morning when everyone has a pounding hangover and you just have a headache." You pat his arm.

"Mm. Mate?" He asks, still staring at your hand.

"Yeah, Mags?" You open his door and let him walk in. He looks at you standing in the doorway with this… weirdly soft look on his face.

"...I love ye." He whispers. Ok, that was way too quiet and a very uncharacteristic thing to say.

"Love you too. You're drunk." You repeat.

"I know. I still love ye."

"Thank you. Go to sleep."

"Cuddle?"

"No, you smell like whiskey."

"Please?"

"No. Love you. Go to sleep."

"G'night."

"Night."

--

"Morning, everyone." You smile over your cup at the tired and annoyed faces that walk through the door. Some mumble a "good morning" back, some only give you a wave, some straight up ignore you. Magnum walks in, visibly doing better than the others, and makes his way to you.

"Uh…" He scratches his beard.

"Hm. Let me guess…" you tap your chin with a finger and raise your eyebrows.

"...thank you." He sighs.

"Called it," You tilt your seat back and put your feet on the table.

"Yeah, yeah…" He grumbles.

“Sleep well?” You sip your drink.

“Eh… yeah…” He says after a couple seconds.

“That’s a hesitation I hear,” You raise an eyebrow.

“Mm… dream was a… a little bad…” He sits in a chair across from you.

“Bad? Bad how?” You tilt your head, and the look he gives you isn’t a very good one.

“Eh, jus’… jus’… mm…”

“Don’t wanna talk?”

“Not… really…”

“Ok. Coffee?”

"Aye." You stand up and get another cup of coffee with a little bit of sugar and some whiskey and hand it to him.

"... sugar 'n whiskey…" he says, surprised for some reason.

"Yeah. You like it that way, right?" You ask, worried you'd gotten it wrong.

"Aye, aye I do…"

"...is something wrong?"

"...no. Nothin'."

"You… sure?"

"Aye."

"Ok… I'm gonna… go see if the others want anything." He nods as you walk away.

That was. Very weird.

You shake your head and walked up to John. James. Whatever.

"Mornin'... Joseph." You say experimentally.

"Mornin', Y/N." He smiles. So, he just answers to anything. Great.

"Need anything? Coffee? Food? Drugs?"

"Why would we need drugs?" Another mate asks.

"For your hangovers, duh." You clap your hand on Jim's (Jake's?) shoulder. "Don't worry, I'll spike your drinks." They all thank you at different energy levels as you leave to get their individual cups of coffee. You feel someone staring at you and turn to see Magnum gazing at you from his seat. He clears his throat and turns away once you see him. You sigh and distribute the cups among the crewmembers. One of them stares at you as you hand them a cup.

"What?" You ask defensively.

"He's in love with you." She comments.

"Yeah, I know…" you sigh and sit down at her table.

"You know? What do you mean you know?!"

"I mean, I know!"

"Do you like him back?"

"That's a difficult question."

"What does that mean?"

"It means I love him a lot but he's a greedy bastard with an authority complex and he hugs way too hard."

"The hugs are not that bad." You give her a look. "Ok, yeah, they are."

"Uh-huh."

"You could… teach him how to hug and see where that gets you?"

"I think I'd hurt his feelings if I suggested that."

"Then just… hug him!"

"What? No!" You whisper-shout to get your point across but also make sure Magnum doesn't hear you.

"Why not?!" She whisper-shouts back.

"That's… weird! I don't give hugs! Hugs are not a thing I give! I get hugs I do not give them!" You both stare at each other for a minute.

"You're touch starved," she raises an eyebrow.

"No shit, so is he."

"One hug! That's it!"

"I refuse."

"I'm sure it'll make him happy!" You pause, thinking about it. He did seem a little upset when you flinched at him. You glared at the pirate and she gave you a shit-eating grin back. She knew what she was doing. Fuck.

"One hug." You hold up your finger to emphasize the point.

"That's all I ask." You point at her and stand up from your seat. You walk over to Magnum. He looks up at you, eyes widening for a moment.

"First mate." He nods.

"Captain," You nod back, "Can we talk?"

"...uh."

"Just real quick? Somewhere private?"

"Uhhhh."

"Magnum."

"Ok. Yea, we can… do that." You nod and began walking towards his cabin. After a couple steps you realize he's not following you and turn around. There he is, sitting at his table.

"Mags?"

"Hm? Oh! Comin'."

He makes his way over to you and enters his cabin. You enter afterwards, shutting the door behind you. You look at him, this 7-and-a-half foot giant of a man, fidgeting. Nervous. You squint at him. How are you gonna go about this?

"You hug too hard." You state. He frowns and drops his hands to his sides.

"Oh…" He says, sounding disappointed. Fuck hurting his feelings, he was gonna hurt your organs, goddamn.

"You need… you gotta be softer. More-More gentle. Like… like, uh…"

"I'm not sure I can--"

"Here, lemme-just…" you shuffle over to him and wrap your arms around his torso. You feel him tense up under your touch. You lay your cheek on him and just squeeze your arms a little. You can't reach all the way around, but it seems to be working pretty well for what you can do. His arms are just frozen in the air, and he keeps moving them just a little, like he wants to hug you back but can't. You inhale a little and smell gunpowder, wood, and coffee. It's a comforting smell, mostly because it's just his, and you can't help but squeeze a little tighter and nuzzle into him. His breath hitches and his heartbeat speeds up. You grin.

You're fucking with him. Not on purpose, but it's happening.

You finally pull away after a few minutes, giving one final squeeze to his midsection before finally stepping back. You look up at him, an innocent smile on your face. He just stares down at you, a blush on his face. His eyes are a little foggy, and you start to get a little worried. Maybe that was… too much, too fast.

"Mags? You okay?" You whispered. He seems to snap out of whatever trance he's in at that because he sucks in a breath and drops his arms.

"Aye! I'm alright! I'm going to uh… go now!" He announces loudly and stomps out of his cabin.

You chuckle as you watch him walk robotically over to the front of the ship, almost tripping over himself and yelling at anyone who laughed. You sigh, shaking your head and sitting on his bed.

You'd wait until he told you about his feelings. You'd wait until he was ready. You could do that... You could do that.

You look out the door again, seeing the crew all working, and him just standing at the wheel. He has a dopey, crooked smile on his face and his hands keep twitching like he can't contain himself. He catches your eye and looks at you. You stick your tongue out and scrunch up your face. He smiles wider and it looks like he chuckles. He looks away, embarrassed. You smile again before standing up and leaving his cabin, planning to ask what you can help with.

Hugs are good enough for now.

#tw: guns #tw: alcohol #tw: drugs #tw: self doubt #ahwm #ahwm magnum #captain magnum #captain magnum markiplier #captain magnum x reader #captain magnum x gn!reader #captain magnum x gender neutral reader #captain magnum x you #captain magnum x y/n #markiplier egos x reader #x reader #x reader fic #x you #x y/n #a heist with markiplier

[dungeonsanddragonsfifthedition]

cad meta is what i do and i’m having a bad day and need a distraction so here’s some thoughts on all his weird shit last night. in three parts.

part i: “i regret my weakness” is such a line. let’s talk priorities. let’s talk about sureness. let’s talk about people as projects. let’s talk about that fucking commune.

as soon as shit started getting connected, he zoned the fuck out and was like, “yes, i have a way to solve this and help get these connections made.” i’ve missed commune, it’s a good spell, and i like the way melora’s answers are treated. he asked about nott, and then beau (or maybe the other way around?), and then about his family, for the first time.

(maybe it’s because beau pointed out that his lack of attempts seemed odd? maybe it’s because he’s slowly started to realize that he’s a person who can go after his own wants?)

i am... concerned about the vagueness of the answer he received re: his family, but it at least confirms that some of the clays are probably alive and definitely in the menagerie. but it’s the response to that that gets me. it’s how he reacts to that news of, well, everything you’re looking for--or at least most things--are in one place, and your friends are willing to go, even amidst their own issues. 

he starts out by calling himself weak, and then refusing to explain that insult to the others. he then begins a repression-disguised-as-selflessness off with beau and nott--two strong competitors in the field. somehow, he wins.

but he was excited the night before. he was ready. he admitted that his path was kind of urgent, but he turned back on that, once he learned that the others were already there. i’ll talk more on this later, but... it doesn’t paint a happy picture of his feelings about his family. the word “abandoned” came up on talks the other week, and i’m standing by that i think that’s the main emotion, here. again, i’ll talk more on that later. fjord called him selfless, in the hot tub talk. caduceus corrected him, and said he was afraid. i don’t think he’s just afraid of them being dead, is the thing. i am still wearing my “Cad Is Sick/Cursed/Withering” hat though, for personal reasons and also because of course that would make the reunions tense. of course.

the fact that he thinks going to the menagerie is “inevitable” and he wants to “spend the time before that doing as much as we can for everybody” lends some weight to this theory--the too-pale, very eccentric, too-thin, always-tired, liar, baby of the family (it happens, so everybody cares and wears the sheep’s clothes while they chaperone) doesn’t want to be taken home. doesn’t want to be breakable and useless. he has people to help, now.

but let’s talk about the other backstory-dodge attemptees, for a second. 

cad admires beau. this is canon, i don’t shut up about this. cad genuinely thinks that beau is the coolest person he has ever met, and he’s right. he wants to help her, but he didn’t really know she needed to be helped, but this--well. forest witches and family issues, that’s his fucking wheelhouse. his desire to help her isn’t like his usual help-quests--he’s very much handling this like he handled the trent situation, it seems, where he’s like, “oh, these people hurt you? i hate them and will kill them. i have never had friends before and this is how friendship works.” which is so valid.

nott, meanwhile, we know he has (entirely reasonable imo) beef with. he brought up a part of that beef last week--please just apologize and have a conversation about dying, god. but he wants to help, because he knows nothing if not fixing things, people. he hates it when he doesn’t know how to fix things, people--let’s recall one of his first-ever communes, the too big to fix one. and it’s a character flaw, this, we know. he has a poorly shaped understanding of how non-familial, non-divine, non-transactional relationships work. he deals exclusively in the one-on-one, unless he’s fucking with people or communicating with melora. (”his protector” was a fun new label, matthew.)

so again. witches, curses, feeling weird about going back to the way things were before the nein? kind of his fucking wheelhouse. nott hasn’t been helpable, until now, in his eyes, because she didn’t want to be fixed. but now she does, so--well. now he can try. and it’s fucked up, and it’s shitty, but it’s certainly interesting, too.

part ii: this episode was very centric on family shit in general so as a nice change of pace in between two family drama parts we’re gonna talk about drinking, drugs, and a potential crush on a certain warlock/paladin

we’ve known since the island with the bees that it’s not that he doesn’t like drinking, it’s that he doesn’t like the taste of alcohol, but episode 92 kind of. hit that harder than before. he’ll take whiskey, mixed with juice, and if it’s still nasty, he’ll add hallucinogenic fruit that he’s only ever used before (unless tal’s goof about microdosing the crew was not a goof, which. it was a goof.) to ask melora about vandran. and he’ll enjoy himself! Caduceus Does Drugs was, again, canon, but we’ve never experienced high cad before.

and high cad? rather--crossed cad, because he was drunk, too. crossed cad is a flirt. after being made uncomfortable at the idea of him being related to fjord--who is so handsome, with a nice-looking nose and cool hair--he spends the night just. “fjord you’re so cool. fjord your accent is so hard how do you do accents, fjord. fjord your magic which used to scare me is so cool. fjord your joke was funny.” he gets embarrassed. he facepalms on the bar. as a fellow socially awkward gay, yasha pats him on the back. and then, he continues. just talking to fjord.

he wakes up hungover. he quietly dislikes it. beau quietly notices. nobody else comments.

when they get to kamordah, he drinks again. if i saw things right, for the first time, we see caduceus not wince at the taste of a (non-mead) alcohol. it might have just been a tal-wasn’t-in-character, but iirc, every other time cad’s drank? there’s been some faces made.

something’s up. again, we’ve known for a good amount of time that Caduceus Is Not Okay, and i am the first to advocate for Caduceus Has A Crush, but this episode managed to solidify both of those things very clearly. he doesn’t know what he wants anymore, is the thing. and he’s so lonely.

part iii: back to family drama! fragility, bad dads, and the fact that the nein are more similar than anyone wants to admit

his attempt at using objective language when talking about seeing one’s parents again is sort of what set me off last night. last night was all about shitty parents, and uhhhh well we certainly got some fuel to the “cad’s a little bit angry at his parents” fire last night.

we were talking in the fc server on how a few of us (self-included) are under the impression that cad’s dad is one of the family members already “under the ground,” which reminded me of a terribly long, purple-prosey character analysis thing i wrote in like. june. wherein i posited that caduceus was probably rather young when people started leaving. the maturity line kind of... hinted at that, i think. he’s done a lot of thinking, in the time he’s been alone; it’s kind of implied that he did a lot of his growing up in his time alone. 

he didn’t care if thoureau was being genuine or not. he cared to know if thoureau took actual steps for protecting his family, or if he was just paranoid and performative. caduceus clay is a charismatic forest-dwelling witch, raised by forest-dwelling witches, and he knows the types of wards and guards and protections they suggest. he knows the lies they tell those they perceive to be naïve.

did abandonment help beau? is fjord really on some grand destined quest tied all because of a family name? did jester’s loneliness make her the beacon of joy that she appears to be? is caleb forever bound to fix who he was before all of this? is yasha allowed to embrace that she is loved, now? if nott’s problem is solved, will she leave the nein without complaint?

makes you think. or whatever.

#original #text #cr #caduceus clay #long post! #cr spoilers #caduceus #boylore

[badatusernames]

CHOJI, SHIKAMARU, LEE, GAARA & HINATA!! ITS A LOT IM SORRY

THANK U FOR THIS...admittedly some answers may be a lil short just so i can like. Get to them all.

EDIT: IDK WHY IT LOOKS LIKE THIS. IM SO TIRED. IM SORRY ITS JUST A LONGASS NARUTO POST ON YOUR DASH I TRIED MY FUCKIN BEST YALL

SEND ME A CHARACTER AND I’LL DO THIS;

Chouji (man i’ve seen it spelled both ways and i’m just used to typing Chouji at this point sorry)

Sexuality Headcanon: Pansexual!!  Gender Headcanon: Cis male A ship I have with said character: SHIKAMARU. SHIKAMARU. SHIKAMARU. SHIKAMARUUUU, my god...just, everything about their dynamic makes my heart melt, the way they’re both people who are easily dismissed by others and how they have such UNFALTERING FAITH in each other. chouji knows how much of a genius shikamaru is, knows very well the fact that despite his laziness, once he commits to something he’s in it for the LONG HAUL, the way shikamaru just believes so steadfastly in chouji, considering him stronger than NEJI FOR FUCKS SAKE...they like. get one another, the kind of relationship where you can be yakking away one minute and then just sitting in contented silence the next. they can just laze around. maybe play video games and snack. and sometimes...kiss. and it’s so chill even with that latent tenderness their later relationship develops and they both just feel so safe and KNOWN and familiar like. love your best friend. anyway everyone slept on shikacho and y’all should be ashamed the naruto fandom is enormous and finding pretty much ANY content for it is almost impossible aside from the small (if lovely and amazing) tag and i’m pretty hyperfixated on it if you couldn’t tell holy SHIT.  A BROTP I have with said character: i’m really not a fan of ino taking potshots at him for his weight and outright shaming him, but once she grows out of that i absolutely love their friendship. listen, you know that post thats like--hold on

thats just them, thanks. A NOTP I have with said character: i have nothing against karui but canon is fucking dead to me and my opinions on p much all the “endgame” ships range from utterly neutral to absolute loathing. their relationship is on neither end of the spectrum, but. eh. definitely not into it. A random headcanon: he keeps nursing injured animals back to health because he’s just that fucking sweet and bringing them back to his house to keep them warm and safe while they recover and his team knows vaguely about this and ino and shikamaru like to poke fun at him for it but since they don’t tend to encounter said animals, it’s not really a huge deal.

of course they stop by his house one day bc he hadn’t shown up for training which is annoying and frankly a little concerning and finding the house mostly empty ino just bursts on into chouji’s room only to immediately have the opossum he’s been caring for latch its little paws on her face and cling.

it’s a bad morning. General Opinion over said character: literally one of my absolute favorites of all time and it really breaks my heart how overlooked he is in the fandom (seriously y’all...). i think kishimoto is kind of a stupid hack and the Fat Jokes are really grating and it sucks to see that so intrinsically tied to his character (like. just let him be fat. jesus christ) but his kindness and overall relaxed, loyal and lovable nature has me just melting. i adore him. 

Shikamaru

Sexuality Headcanon: He’s gay, scoob. (I could also talk a lot about how his earlier misogyny is both a product of being a whiny tween and also some internalized frustration of like WHATS SO GREAT ABOUT GIRLS. UGH. I DONT. STOP TELLING ME IM GONNA FALL IN LOVE WITH ONE ONE DAY DAD JESUS. and let’s be real, thats frustrating, even if it aint an excuse)  Gender Headcanon: he uses he/him pronouns because it’s just what he’s used to and comfortable with but man gender is such a drag... A ship I have with said character: SEE ABOVE SHIKACHO RANT A BROTP I have with said character: naruto! he and naruto have a really adorable friendship and i love love LOVE that he and chouji were shown to be kind and accepting of him even when most people were shunning him. also he’s so fucking dumb i love seeing shikamaru meticulously plan out something only to have naruto shriek into battle and ruin all of it. love those guys. stupid bros.  A NOTP I have with said character: ok. im sorry i just. loathe sh*katema i really do. i haaaate the way kishimoto writes this whole “ew a GIRL” “ew a MAN” vibe with the like OOOH BUT THEYRE GONNA LIKE EACH OTHER vibe like. 

don’t get me wrong i adore them as friends, i think they’re fantastic scathing and witty pals who bitch about anything and everything including each other

but they’re also both gay and kishimoto can suck my nuts byeeee A random headcanon: sometimes pakkun just fucking Shows up and chills with him. shikamaru wants absolutely no part of this but is way too lazy to like. do anything about it so it’s just this guy and a dog sitting in a field chillin and occasionally him piping up like ‘hey kid. remember when i bit your hand? yeah? haha, man time sure does fly.” while shikamaru is just. go aWAY.   General Opinion over said character: if you told 9 year old me watching naruto for the first time my favs were gonna be a three way tie of lee, shikamaru and chouji i never would have fucking believed you but here we are. i love him. i absolutely love him. he’s such a whiny bastard and a really good depiction of burnout genius who doesnt want to do ANYTHING, but his intellect is an absolute DELIGHT to watch. i love him very much. 

Lee

Sexuality Headcanon: he’s pan!! this is a boy that crushes easily and crushes hard on just about anyone!!!! Gender Headcanon: cis male A ship I have with said character: ok i ship him a lot with neji actually? what with how neji grows during the course of the series to regard lee with the respect he deserves is really sweet and there’s just something so infinitely adorable about him going around being the hammiest, most ridiculously earnest, kind and enthusiastic person and neji, now that he isn’t constantly bitter and angry at the world can finally really see that? lee is always happily dropkicking his way into his life, like he wouldn’t have it any other way, and i think that’s just...so sweet A BROTP I have with said character: SAKURAAAAA. oh my GOD do i adore their relationship. ever since lee saved her and basically just gave her a glimpse of his...lee-ness, the fact her negative opinion of him IMMEDIATELY flipped and gave her such a strong admiration and fondness for him kills me DEAD. she always treats him with so much respect and the fact she’s quick to rag on anyone making fun of him melts my HEART!! and on lee’s side, his little crush on her is adorable of course, but the sheer strength of the friendship that comes from it is more than infatuation could ever offer him. i want them to hang out together and talk about their troubles...i want them to make each other laugh and be so very kind to each other...i want sakura to storm over and throw him over her shoulder to TAKE A BREAK ALREADY when he’s been training too hard for too long. god. A NOTP I have with said character: honestly i’m pretty happy with a lot of lee ships! the only ones i view with obvious disdain are the ones with creepy age gaps honestly. A random headcanon: out of everyone in the leaf genin, he’s probably the closest anyone’s ever come to someone who EVERYONE is at least distantly friendly towards. like god have you SEEN how warm and inviting and concerned he is the SECOND he sees that naruto is feeling down? i get the sense he’s immediately inclined to provide that kind of support to any of his comrades, even the ones that Resist it.

you think sasuke is the most popular among the leaf genin? puh-LEASE. everyone looks on rock lee with at least a LITTLE bit of warmth. thats just fact. General Opinion over said character: since my first viewing of naruto he has been my Absolute fav, and while chouji and shikamaru are veeery close to stealing that spot, one look at him and i feel he’s gonna be on top forever. probably the best written character kishimoto’s ever produced that’s remained in  the main cast (tho i dont speak for shipudden onwards who fucking knows, but the truth of it is is i adore rock lee)

Gaara

Sexuality Headcanon: Panromantic Asexual Gender Headcanon: kind of like shikamaru, i feel like he uses he/him pronouns but also doesn’t particularly....Care? A ship I have with said character: ok so it wasnt until my naruto rewatch that i really started falling into this but i think him and naruto are super cute? while i loathe kishimoto for ruining so much abt this show he really is good at creating good foils to naruto, and gaara is no exception--and the way naruto changes his life by just kicking his ass (and proving he’s not just a Simp or smth) and then just, extending genuine empathy and a REAL sense of truly relating to where he’s coming from re:his upbringing? the EFFECT it has on him, bro!!!! my god!!! i feel like they’re that opposites attract ship that don’t clash constantly but instead fall into this adorable synergy and understanding? and i think thats so sweet A BROTP I have with said character: ...is it cheating to just put temari and kankuro here? bc they are literally his siblings but my GOD do i love their relationship. there’s something so deeply sad about their initial situation??? like having siblings that either are deeply fucking afraid of you or clearly don’t care for your well being whatsoever, it’s such a tragic scenario, and the times where they really do show legitimate care for gaara just breaks my heart...but the GROWTH. THE DEVELOPMENT. THE HEALING. i love the sand siblings so much, i am a STRONG advocate of seeing the development from estranged family to loving, occasionally bickering siblings who absolutely Love Each Other A NOTP I have with said character: uhhhh same with lee in that i don’t really mind most of the ships i’ve seen him in? while i don’t particularly ship gaalee i think its also Very Cute, and really it all just seems pretty valid as long as people aren’t being creepy? A random headcanon: i’ve been wracking my brain for one for a good 20 minutes and i just don’t have one he’s such a mystery to me/????? i love him but he is an enigma?? General Opinion over said character: oh my god he’s such an edgelord in the beginning. i’ve been doing a lot of this naruto rewatch with my friend @drashseed (a simply phenomenal fella 10/10 follow him) and every single time he talked the only valid response just became “ok gaara”

but his backstory? utterly HEARTWRENCHING. and his growth is just. absolutely divine, i adore him. thank you mister sandman for doing so much for us all.

Hinata

Sexuality Headcanon: Bisexual Gender Headcanon: cis woman A ship I have with said character: listen. i think kibahina is........Really Really cute. he cares about her so MUCH??? and there’s a certain tenderness to his interactions with her that’s just really evident whenever you see em together? i really love that you get the sense hinata is COMFORTABLE around him!!! like! i feel like hinata really deserves to have a partner who sees her when she ISN’T blushing and stammering? when she’s like? legitimately comfortable and being HERSELF? (dgmw the blushing is adorable i fucking love her but its one of the gripes i have with naruhina that so much of it is just naruto being oblivious and her having a small panic attack) the comfort she and kiba have make for a chill, adorable relationship i just cry over constantly A BROTP I have with said character: so i was GONNA put naruto here, but technically i already put him there for shikamaru’s so i’m gonna say neji!!! uhhh OBVIOUSLY they got off to a. very rough start but the way their dynamic changed (or perhaps in a way reverted back to the times they interacted before neji’s father died and temporarily killed his Human Decency) into this respect and fondness that’s just...such a delight to watch? i’m a SUCKER for slow and mutual reconciliation and there are just so many sweet moments between them. they are FAMILY, BRO!!! THEY CARE FOR EACH OTHER, BRO!!!!!!!!!! A NOTP I have with said character: ...at the risk of sounding like a broken record, i think a lot of hinata ships are quite cute? i guess i’m gonna have to say sasuke. because like.

has. he ever even looked at her. please. jesus christ. she deserves so much better. A random headcanon: she is a LOT physically stronger than she looks!! a lot of her combat techniques rely on taijustu after all so it’d make sense that she puts a lot of effort into physical training alongside chakra control.

i’m trying to say she’s strong. not as strong as sakura but. she can lift her bf up over her head (he’s dying hes dying he’s dYING he lOVES HER SO MUCH). it’s pretty fuckign badass

General Opinion over said character: i LOVE her??? honest to god i really really do--honestly while i dislike the direction they went in canon with her, i really loved seeing her be motivated to grow and change the parts of herself she hated to become a stronger person.

that and she’s so fucking cute and sweet and i just??????? bless her honestly.

#naruto #shikacho #narugaa #nejilee #kibahina #they speak #i cant tag everyone fuck #is this formatting fucked up? i can't tell it wouldnt post before #long post

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #332

i’m even more tired than before to try and think up song lyrics, i’m pasting from Word and then fucking off to bed lmao.

What was the last video message you received on your phone? I think it was a clip of Doris (Sara's beardie) eating and just being her perfect self? Was your last birthday cake homemade or store bought? Store-bought. One thing you miss about middle school? Shit, nothing. Middle school was the worst. Do you have any shirts signed by famous people? No. Have you ever entered an art competition? Yes. Would you ever pierce yourself? No. I am very much about having a professional do your body mods/art. Plus, I have tremors in my hands. Do you live in a safe neighbourhood? Supposedly. We haven't lived here nearly long enough to know. What is the last thing you did that shocked someone? /shrug Do you often find yourself questioning your future? Only always. Have you ever been for a ride in the back of a truck? Yeah. Do you like your license photo? I hate my permit picture. Are you into superheroes? Who’s your favorite? Not very, but I like 'em enough. I always say my favorite is Deadpool, but I know he's technically an anti-hero, but whatever. If you don't include him, uhhhh... maybe Spiderman. Have you started watching any new TV shows recently? No. Have you ever been able pet a normally wild animal, like a tiger or dolphin? No. :( At least, not to my recollection. Have you ever eaten snow? Yeah. There's actually a winter treat 'round here that you make with snow and sugar called snow cream. Good stuff. What is the messiest area in your home? Right now, the spare room/my wanna-be "office." What’s your favorite computer game genre? Still horror, like video games. Do you have any exes your parents never liked? No. Have you received financial help from your parents in the past 5 years? I'm completely financially dependent on them still. Are you a fast or a slow eater? I eat like, stupid fast, but without being messy. People *cough*Mom*cough* will absolutely point it out, but I seriously can't help it. Making a conscious effort to eat slow feels way too weird. What was the last thing you purchased from a small local business? I don't know. Is there anyone in your family/household whom you frequently argue with? No. Have you ever used chewing tobacco? Ew, no. Tell me what's on your mind? I've been considering yet again reaching out to some tattoo parlors and asking if they're open to hiring someone to handle the front desk and take care of business besides actually performing piercing and tattooing, given my tremors. My group therapy has kinda been encouraging me to use the possibility for social exposure, and besides, I'm very comfortable in the environment and just general aura of tat parlors. I'm sure I'd have to answer the phone, handle money, and obviously talk to costumers, but I know and accept that. I've been at such a stagnant point with my social anxiety in particular that I have to start pushing back harder, and doing this I feel would be one of the most relaxed, social job positions I can hopefully handle. I don't dare to even try this though until I get vaccinated to protect my immunocompromised mom. Writing this all out has actually been pretty encouraging about this idea... Do you wish you never dated someone you dated? Yeah, Tyler. It was such a "I'm lonely and he was nice in high school, so we'll try it" situation. I got nothing from it. Are you scared of growing old alone? Pretty badly. What are you listening to right now? I'm listening to/semi-watching John Wolfe play the remaster of Resident Evil 2. What breed was the last dog you saw? He was a German shepherd. Would you ever go swimming during a thunderstorm? No. Any time a thunderstorm was brewing and I was in the pool, I'd always get out. What is the next concert you will attend? Mom and I plan to see Ozzy when/if he reschedules his tour after he had to cancel with his Parkinson's diagnosis. What was the name of the last pet of yours that died? Teddy. :/ What's the highest science class you have taken? I don't know, actually. What makes you squeal like a school girl? No shame, seeing Mark and Amy do something cute together actually does this, lmao. What’s your favorite symbol? (i.e. the pentagram, the cross, etc.) Do fictional ones count? Because in that case, the Halo of the Sun from the Silent Hill franchise. I'm getting it tattooed somewhere at some point, I'm thinking the left side of my neck. I'm either gonna fashion it in a way where it looks branded on or carved into me. Have you ever been on anti depressants? For all of my pre-teen, teen, and some of my adult life. Apparently, I've only had one truly educated psychiatrist out of no less than a dozen I'd seen, because he fixed me right up. He taught me that those who suffer from bipolarity should avoid anti-depressants; they ramp up your bipolar symptoms. Instead, mood stabilizers are favorable. And what do you know, after I was prescribed a stabilizer and a catalyst for that medication, my depression decreased dramatically and became handleable. Have you ever starved yourself? Kinda. What’s the stupidest name you’ve ever given a pet? I had a guinea pig named Harry Potter. For no particular reason lmao. I'm not even a Harry Potter fan. Do you have nice legs? God no. Do you like fedoras? Okay so I know I am in the strong minority, but I actually do, haha. What is your favorite food group? Carbs. @_@ Have you ever got told that you should be a model? No, but one of the most flattering indirect compliments I've ever gotten was being mistaken for one. Jason's phone wallpaper was one of my favorite pictures of myself with my first snake, and someone asked him if I was a model. ;v;' What song is in a language you don’t speak, but you love it anyway? "Donaukinder" by Rammstein is one of my faves. Who’s a villain you sympathize with and why? SOBS Darkiplier bc his origins are so damn tragic and unfair. What book do you think should be directed as a film? Was The Giver ever made into one? I don't remember that book well, but I do recall it being absolutely beautiful. Have you ever found a stranger’s note somewhere? If so, what did it say? No. Have you ever edited Wikipedia? No. Have you ever edited any other wiki? Yeah. I have thousands on the Silent Hill wiki, where I'm one of the admins. I'm also a content moderator at the Team Ico (Shadow of the Colossus devs) one. Every now and again I used to go on the meerkats wiki as well, where I mainly fixed the fucking nightmarish grammar. Very briefly, I edited at the Dragons of Atlantis wiki as well. Do you get scared when you know some virus or sickness is being passed? Not very, but of course I still acknowledge the risk and am more conscious of hand washing and stuff. What popular social media platforms AREN’T you on? Snapchat, I don't actually use my Twitter, I don't have a personal Instagram... There may be more, idk. Is TikTok a "social media platform?" Because I don't have that, either. What was the name of the first porcelien doll you got? Never had one, given I was afraid of dolls as a kid. What’s your favorite Paramore song? "Decode." Would you be happy with a life without romance? To be entirely honest, I'd feel like I was missing something. Was your childhood happy? Mostly. What fundamentally matters do you? Love, kindness, peace, all that gooey stuff. Is true world peace ever possible? As much as I hate to admit it, I don't think so. The human population is far too big to come to a unanimous agreement on anything. Do you hold yourself to higher standards than you hold others? Yeah. Would you ever own a pet black widow spider? No. I'm getting more into the idea of owning invertebrates (I jabber enough about wanting tarantulas, and there are others, like mantises, I'm interested in as pets), but black widows, I'm not into the idea of having. Too venomous for me to be comfortable risking. If you have a job, what is the longest shift that you've worked? N/A Do you know all of the words to "Bohemian Rhapsody?" FUCK YES I DO. ^ Do you sing it with all of the different voices? sho nuff Do you own more than one copy of a certain book? No. Do you like interpreting poetry or just reading it for fun? Both. I love symbolism, so I get joy out of digging for subtle meanings in poems. Do you have a favorite Dr. Suess book? Yeah, it was always Green Eggs and Ham. Do you watch The Walking Dead? If so, favorite character? Not the show, but I've watched let's plays of the games, haha. In which case Clementine is inarguably one of the best female characters in a video game universe. Who has/had the most mature romantic relationship you’ve seen with your own eyes? Uhhh. I mean I never saw them much, but probably my late grandmother and her last husband. He was fucking incredible to her, and Grammy adored him as well. They helped each other so much and just obviously had the purest love between them. When was the last time you got something for free (legally)? What was it & have you enjoyed it so far? Lmao do balls in Pokemon GO count? Their occasional free boxes are the reason I can play the game because PokeStops are essentially non-existent here, so yes. What is the one fruit you can’t stand to eat? How about vegetable? The first one that came to me were oranges. I enjoy orange juice, but I just caaaaannot with the white veiny shit that you can't totally get off when peeling it. Without that, I might actually enjoy them, but idk. As for vegetable, asparagus is absolutely abhorrent. When’s the last time you actually recited the pledge? If you aren’t American, do/did you have anything similar in your country that you do during a time at school? Probably not since high school. Last person you shared food with? Ummm I have no idea. It's really just Mom and me here and we eat our own stuff. What was the last song you heard for the first time and enjoyed? I believe it waaas... "Down In The Park" by Marilyn Manson, maybe. If your life was a TV show, what would be the theme song? My inner high school emo just screamed "All Signs Point to Lauderdale" by AD2R. Who are some of your favorite female fictional characters, and why? Gahdamn, there's a lot. I don't feel like going through a mental list in my head and then describing why. A character (in anything) you wish hadn’t been killed off? Vol'jin; I think the entire WoW fanbase will forever be pissed about it. It was THE most "lul we dunno what 2 do w/ him anymore, let's let a totally random, unnamed, unimportant demon kill him" like what the fuck, Blizz. Most of his "oomph" was in the book, and I just really wish they'd done so much more with him in the game. Has anything “cute” happened in the past week? Off the top of me noggin, no. When did you last say “I love you”? Did you mean it? Yesterday to Sara. OF course I did. Is there someone who pops into your mind at random times? Hi, PTSD, how are ya. Have you ever slept all day? Essentially. When I was on a larger dose of my anxiety med, I physically couldn't stay up for barely even five minutes, and when I'd lie back down, boom, I was OUT. I stayed on that dosage for I think just that one day, it was so bad. Can you have kids? Well, I have a functioning menstrual cycle, so I would assume so. Doesn't mean I will, though. What colors of mascara have you worn on your lashes? Only black. Do you like eating sour things? Hell yeah, I love sour stuff, candy in particular. Do you like pickles? fuuuuck yeah Did you ever have a really close friend move away? Yeah, in elementary school. I feel bad I can't remember her name at the moment... What's the most creative thing you've ever done? I mean, I guess the things I've written in RP. What's the most creative thing someone has done for you? For me? I don't really know. Do you like to watch ghost-hunting shows? Sure, they're some of my favorites. What’s something you’d like to be better at? Social interaction. Have you ever stayed up to talk to someone who was sad? Yeah. Do you think you would make a good parent? No. I know I wouldn't. The only time I ever wanted kids was with Jason, and honestly, I really hope I don't end up with a man because I never want to deal with that urge again and make a mistake. I'm just in no way emotionally fit to be a mother. How many best friends do you have? Just one. What do you cry over the most? My PTSD, honestly. I never sob about it anymore, just shed some tears. What language did/do you take in high school? Latin for one semester, then all four available for German. Which sports do you follow? None. Who was the last person you talked about marriage or having kids with? About marriage, Sara. Kids, the subject was lightly touched upon with Girt, though "with" was never a part of it, but obviously implied seeing as we were dating with long-term in mind. Have you ever been in a house fire? No, thankfully. Have you ever made out for one straight hour? them is rookie numbers Are you any good at remembering phone numbers? No. I literally don't even know my own, nor my mother's. I need to fix that. Who is your best friend of the opposite sex? Girt. Do you have a bookshelf? If so, just one or how many? No. If I gave you twenty bucks what would you do with it? Save it to go towards Venus' terrarium. Is there a movie from your childhood that you still watch today? Well of course! I'm unashamed to watch any "kids" movie I enjoy, like Disney ones. Most "kids" movies tend to be better than those intended for adults, it seems... Are you afraid of mice? Oh no, I adore mice and I think had a pair as pets before I got rats. What type of souvenir do you usually purchase when on vacation? I can't really answer this; I haven't gone on nearly enough vacations to develop a theme. I can say confidently though it'd probably be something small. If you could see any musical on Broadway right now, what would it be? I don't enjoy musicals. Have you ever watched Doctor Who? One or two with Sara, yes. I know we at least watched the weeping angels episode. If you read, which book or series did you enjoy most as a child? Warriors by S.E. Hinton. Sometimes I wanna get back into them, but I am YEARS behind and more into Wings of Fire anyway, so. I don't read nearly enough for both. How do you get rid of your hiccups? Literally no trick seems to work for me. I just suffer lmao.

#survey #surveys #questions

[what-a-messsss]

1x10 rewatch

Ok, let’s get back to Walt Longmire: Disaster Boi of S1 and finish this season off with a...something.  Pleading look to the heavens, maybe?  

How do I keep forgetting that Lizzie is a thing, even after our decision to find her some nice Smitten Cowboy to be with?  Holy hell, but why are you still keeping your dead wife’s ashes in the kitchen?  At least you kept Lucian in your fucking truck.  In a coffee can.  What is with you and breakfast beverages??  We all know you need lots of therapy, but this seems like a kind of niche issue.

“Trust me, you don’t, uh, you don’t want that tea.”  Buddy.  

Poor Lizzie.  She really is so nice.  And he’s such a fucking disaster.  “You seem weird,” she says, in reaction to him going bug eyed from having to convince her not to drink his dead wife without her realizing that’s what he was doing.  Sweetie, you have no idea.  And she really does like him.  

This is.  So.  Gloriously awkward.  And Lizzie’s there in her bare feet.  And all we need is for Branch to show up and we’ll have a full house, and aaaaahahaha, Walt is so trying to freeze time with the power of his brain.  Staring off into the Not Here place with his mouth pressed just so...  Awwwww, suffer.

I had forgotten that Ferg was the one who actually did the body work on the Bronco!  Even did the paint work, because that old truck has never looked so good.  I know Omar loaned Walt his truck while the Bronco was “in the shop,” but I like that the writers gave Ferg the skills to do that.

“If anybody... has something they want to say, I suggest you think twice about it.”  We don’t need to say anything; we’re too busy laughing at you.

Oof, and then Lizzie hearing Martha’s voice still on the message greeting.  She’s really quite a good actress.  Lizzie isn’t a terribly subtle character generally, but she gives her these really fine microexpressions that give you occasional glimpses that there is more going on under the surface, and she’s not just an open book.  : (  Making me actually like her and feel bad, not just cringe when she comes on.  Dang iiiiiiiit.

Ok, that does NOT look like Sharpie.  I’m sorry, but that looks like a paint pen or lipstick more than it looks like a Shapie on the dead kid’s forehead.  Even if it were one of the jumbo Sharpies, they don’t write like that, they aren’t that colour on skin, and the thickness of the lines are all off.  Which is not really relevant, but it buuuuugs meeeee.  Pedantic little shit that I am.

Ope, Branch is basically past the angst about Walt not liking him and straight into just giving him nothing but attitude.  Which, while I can hardly blame anyone for giving Walt shit, does get old pretty fast.

Walt, you are So Bad at talking to people, even when it’s for the damn job!  Yeah, it’s fine to have Ferg fill Vic in, but at least acknowledge that she’s there, damn.  Honestly it would have been good for both Vic and Ferg for Walt to tell her to follow Ferg’s lead on this one.  He knows the case, the local history, the players, the situation, and probably more about archery than her, and she could stand to take the reminder that working 5 years in big city homicide still doesn’t make her the senior deputy and that she needs to be ok learning from even Ferg.  Shit, I keep finding more and more reasons to be annoyed at Walt.  Is he even really that good of a sheriff?  I’m shaking the ol’ Magic 8 Ball here, and signs point to frickin’ NO.  Ugh.

Five HUNDRED dollars says that he didn’t check with Mathias before going on the Rez for official police business again.  Jackass.

Can’t really blame Viho for being super bitter.  And Ayasha is so sweet.  This whole family dynamic is so well done.

Aw, Ferg is so excited about the gum wrapper.  “Still minty!”  How are you such a sparklebunny?  Bless.

Detective Falessssss.  His opening line is so great, but uuuuuuuhg, he’s as bad as Walt with his singlemindedness about the case.  

“Talk to Ruby.  She runs my life.”  She runs the department, bucko, and you’d be lost without her!  Lost, I say!  But you treat her like your personal social secretary, and that’s crap.

In Fales’ dubious defense, you were just super weird about that whole encounter.  

Omar!  You creepy little lecherous jackass.  Why am I still fond of you?  It’s really rather galling that I enjoy your character at all, but I doooo.  Thank gods he has the beard now; cleanshaven was just wigging me out.  “Vickie’s never shot before--”  “That is the second-to-last time you will ever call me that.”  And I chortle myself to distraction to the point that I have to rewind to catch the lines that I missed.  With her horrible plans when she gets drunk (I’m still cringing at that flashback of her with Travis) and her obvious thing for older men, I’m honestly kind of surprised she didn’t end up having a deeply regretted something with Omar at some point.  They do have good chemistry in an antagonistic way.  And he does so enjoy tugging her pigtails.  ...ew.  Why is my brain like this?  

“A little bit of practice, even a girl can make that shot.”  Aaaaaaand we’re back to kick him in the nuts.  Not that we ever really left there.  Such a butthead.

Boy oh boy, it sure is great the tone that all these shitty rich white people take saying “Indian.”

“That is what a normal person would do in your situation.”  Henryyyyyy, I love you so much.  Why can’t we spend more time with him in the early seasons?  Why are you drinking a Rainier?  Nooooo, please have better taste in beer than your boyfriend!  You have expensive tastes in bourbon, why can’t you have decent taste in beeeer?

Walt, what is the point of practicing darts when you are FIVE FEET from the board?  Seriously, you’re supposed to be like...  (a google later)  7 feet 9.25 inches away!  That’s...  That’s an oddly specific measurement.  Wtf.  No quickly apparent reason for that specific measure.  Resisting the pull of this particular rabbit hole to continue the ep.  

Aaaah, that’s right, this is still when Walt thinks that Henry may have killed the guy for him.  And BestDad Henry talked to Cady after the blow up about Branch, and he is a wonderful human being.  “It’s really none of your concern.”  Hoooooow dare you.  It is clearly a function of being bffs with that butthead that Henry just smiles (somewhat bitterly) at this instead of tripping him into the bar or shoving his head into the cigarette machine.  (Is that a cigarette machine?  Wtf is that thing with the yellow lit up portion towards the top? [14:05])  

“What a rich inner life you must lead.  From time to time, you should consider sharing some of it with the rest of us.”  The sass!  Swoon.  Henry.  Marry me.  

“I’ve got other problems.”  Buddy, you are other problems.

I wonder how many people/places Ruby just has on speed dial so that she can zoom through her list of “Where the hell is Walt now” to get in touch with him.

Aaaaand we’re back to Branch getting a bit big for his britches.  Whee.  Better fight about it like Big Boys.  Ffs.  “Go ahead.  Give me your best shot.”  ::Pat Benatar starts playing in the background::  Oh holy shit, I wish so damn much that I had any know-how about making vids.  I would be beyond amused by a spoofy hate vid of Walt and Branch being assholes to “Hit Me With Your Best Shot.”  Ooo, oo, or “Hit Me Baby One More Time!”  Aaaahahaha, these fucking losers and their fragile masculinity.  Get rekt.

Children.  Childreeeeen.  Stop it, or you can’t go to Timmy’s birthday party next week.

The irony of Vic being the one who is actually calling them on their shit and getting to do their damn jobs.  Well shit, they actually have a warrant this time.  Will wonders never cease.

Damn, Viho is smart.  Politically savy, pointing out the election coming up.  He’s got the wrong end of the stick this time, but the fact that he’s seen these angles and considered a bunch of things about the consequences already is telling about how smart he is.

Ruby is so pleased to see Henry.  She sounds tired (dealing with Walt and Branch and the sheer volume of bs that is accumulating in that office, no wonder) but still fond.  And the look she gives him.  I love her so much.  She puts up with so much.  And I love Henry continually calling Walt and the department on their shit and just being a dedicated activist for his community.

Fuck right off, Branch.  “Woah.  I know you’re Walt’s friend, Henry, but you don’t have any particular rights here.”  You are sliding into being a full on trashbag of a human being so fast, Brancheroo.  Reminding a young man of his rights and helping him avoid getting railroaded by your biased ass isn’t a bad thing, you rusty wingnut.

Ok, it might not be Glasses!Henry, but cowboy boots!Henry with the glow of righteousness upon him is also quite A Look.

Aaaaahahaha, for once Vic’s unholy yelling saves the day.  Being able to shout over a mass of raucous teens is usually reserved for teachers, camp counselors, and stage managers.  Looool and using detention as the threat.  And then jail.  Heeeh.

This is soooo weeeeeird: I’m starting to genuinely like Lizzie.  She just showed up and I remembered that it’s for dropping off that present, and then Vic is such a butt about it, and this poor lady is just trying to date a guy that she really likes and even gave him about 5 different outs that morning and he pointedly didn’t take any of them and dammit, Lizzie deserves better, too.  Fuck, Walt, you are such a disaster zone.  And Vic is a whole other disaster area that’s looking to, uhhhh, share a border.  Yike.

The present is definitely more Lizzie than it is Walt, with the wrapping and everything, but it’s still a sweet impulse.  AND THEN VIC, who told Walt how many times that he should call her?? gets all up in her business?  Poor Lizzie trying to figure out what the fuck this has to do with Vic or how it is even on the same planet as any of her business.  She does have some issues from her previous marriage, but she owns them.  And her BS meter is actually pretty finely tuned.  Sure picks up on Vic’s awkward boner for Walt in no time flat.  Not that it’s particularly well hidden, damn.

This kid is a rapist and a murderer and The Bad Guy, but at the same time, he is a high school kid, chances are he’s a minor, and Walt is talking to him alone in his office without any parent, much less a lawyer.  What the fuck.  

“Because Ayasha Roundstone told me so,” is a good line, solidly so.  And Walt’s all in The Righteous Hand of Justice mode or whatever, with the gravelly voice and standing over the kid, staring him down.  Effective.  (But where are that kid’s parents?)  Ah, that’s right, his dad is taking a shot at whatshisnoodle to make it look like he’s the killer.

Awww, Cady.  Honey, how long have you been waiting for you FailDad to show up?  Fuck.  Right.  This was how she found out that Martha was murdered.  He lies to her so much.  He manipulates her so much.  He passes all of this off on it being Martha’s wish, but he even acknowledges that Cady had a right to know and he chose not to tell her.  He denies Cady her own agency again and again.  He makes decisions for her without ever giving her a chance to choose for herself, and punishes her when she makes a choice that he doesn’t agree with.

It’s not “protecting” her from the pain.  “Protecting you from the pain,” is not a father’s job; it’s to teach their child how to manage it, help them live through it, and how to grow past it.  You’re damaging her.  Into the suuuuuuun, Walt!  Into the fucking SUN.

But fuuuuuuuuuuuck, her delivery of that same line, “Well, let me relieve you of that burden,” is sooo good.  You done fucked up, buster.  And you just keep fucking up.  I would say in new and exciting ways, but it’s generally in the SAME DAMN WAYS, dammit Walt.

This flashback is really difficult.  

They’re right about that technically being kidnapping, too.  Wyoming  § 6-2-201 specifically includes defining kidnapping as unlawfully confining another person, with the intent to “facilitate the commission of a felony; or Inflict bodily injury on or to terrorize the victim or another,” with unlawful confinement defined as “accomplished (i)  By force, threat or deception; or (ii)  Without the consent of a parent, guardian or other person responsible for the general supervision of an individual who is under the age of fourteen (14) or who is adjudicated incompetent.”  Meaning that not only could Walt charge Jake with the kidnapping of Rich, but also probably of Ayasha, since she was ruled an unreliable witness and would more than likely be legally considered a “mentally incompetent person” according to the states’ legal definitions.  

Not... that I have the Wyoming State Criminal Code downloaded on my computer.  >_> Certainly haven’t skimmed about 80% of it trying to figure out what charges would most make sense to be levied against Jacob at the end so that I don’t have to deal with him going in to a Federal prison on RICO charges.  <_<  Or what Cady probably should have been charged with after that mess with Tate and Catori.  Nnnnnnope.  Sure don’t, didn’t, haven’t. o_o

This is about the only time I can remember there being a legitimate reason for Walt not to have backup.  Since they’re off checking other locations.  Also, damn, that was some classic Old West quickdraw shit, Walt!  Noice!

“Why did you stop me?”  Because you have to testify, you little shit.  HE is not terribly bright.

Ooooooo, somehow I forgot that it was Branch who went to Jacob.  But that makes total sense; I can’t really see Jacob seeking Branch out, but once he walks himself into his office, Jacob will certainly play those new cards for all they’re worth.  Ooooooooo, and the Hotamétaneo’o headdress!  I’d forgotten about Branch seeing it, too!  Nice call back and foreshadowing to finish off S1!

“You will not find a chili cheeseburger of this caliber anywhere in Colorado.”  And now it’s 4:30 in the morning and I want a chili cheeseburger.  Thanks, babe.   Some daaaaaay, I will figure out which is my favourite Henry, but it is not this day, because godsdaaaaamn, the red checked shirt with that vessssst, is *chef kiss* a wonderful thing.   And the director knoooooows it = that pan down Henry’s back as he turns after saying, “I said nothing,” for noooo reason other than to have Henry’s ass on screen.  Seriously.  He says his line, it pans down, we get a primo shot of his jeans, and then it cuts away.  Solely a pan for Henry Butt.  Who directed this, and where do I send the fruit basket?  Dang, it was Nelson McCormick, and this was the only ep of Longmire he directed.  Huh.  In S1, there’s only one repeat director, who did eps 1, 3, and 7.  Interesting.

Focus, kid.  You are less than 3 minutes from the end and you’ve had it paused for over 5 minutes to wander around IMDb.  No wonder it takes you three flipping hours to watch one of these episodes.  What a mess, indeed.

“We all process grief in our own way.”  Buddy.  You have not processed.  You are a human <BUFFERING> screen.  You’re a walking loading symbol.  Walt, he gives you some basic vital statistics on the guy, but...  You haven’t even asked who it was.  Walt, you are so bad at this.  Fffffffff---  And there’s season 1.  lawd.

#Longmire #episode commentary #cady longmire #cassidy freeman #Walt #Henry Standing Bear #Branch is such a tool #Lizzie (Longmire) #How many tangents did I manage to go on this time? #Yikes

[blackbatsnwitchshats]

New Opportunities

Chapter 5

Chapter Summary: Tomura's not quite sure where he and his Sensei stand now that their roles are somewhat reversed. Kurogiri's suggestion that Tomura should be the one to take him out for new clothes could either put him in a better standing or spell his doom.

________________

"Tomura, it's been a while since you've been outside."

"Yeah," Tomura muttered, briefly glancing up from his game.

He was on a winning streak. All he needed to beat the last level was one more point and he would finally beat it at one-hundred percent completion. Just one more point...

Kurogiri sighed, "Why don't you get some fresh air."

So close...

"After this last game. I can go to the mall and people watch for an hour or two."

"Alright."

Just a little more...

"On second thought, why don't you and Sensei go to the mall together?"

Tomura's character missed their jump and he cursed as all his hard work from the past two hours went down the drain. He glared at the game over screen before he turned the console off. Being the serial saver he was, not all of his progress was lost, but it was still a bummer.

"Okay, what was it you said just now?"

"You and Sensei should go to the mall together."

Tomura stared at Kurogiri for a few moments. "Why though?"

"Because Sensei hasn't seen the light of day in nearly three years and none of his old clothes fit him anymore. That, and you could honestly do with a new wardrobe as well. Two birds, one stone."

"Can't you do it though?"

"I could, but why would I when you already plan on going? There are things I need to get done around the bar."

"Like what?"

"Inventory. Last I checked, you weren't overly fond of that chore. What was the word you called it? Tedious? Or was it boring?"

"Alright, alright, I get it. I'll take Sensei with me to the mall. You don't have to harp on me."

"Uh-huh, sure I don't." Kurogiri hummed, "Just like I don't have to remind you to clean your room, right?"

"Okay! I'll grab Sensei and leave! Sheesh!"

________________

"Why do we have to hold hands again?"

"Because I'd rather not have to explain to Kurogiri that I lost you. It hasn't even been ten minutes, and you've already wondered off once, Sen-" Tomura quietly swore and corrected himself, "Ichidai. What the hell did your parents teach you about talking to strangers?"

"Nothing. They up and left my brother and I to fend for ourselves, Tomura."

That... explained a few things.

Tomura scratched at his neck with his free hand. "Sorry."

"Don't be," All For One shook his head. "You didn't know and it's no longer something that bothers me."

"If you say so..."

"I do."

All For One pulled Tomura along through the mall until they reached the cafeteria. There, they found a map displaying the layout of the mall and all the stores.

After a thorough investigation of the map, All For One turned to his successor. "I'll be relying mostly on you for this venture, Tomura. While I know you don't get out much, you're currently far more aware of what's popular right now than I am. It's been such a long time since I was a child that I have no idea where to even begin finding clothes to fit in. Any knowledge I do have on this subject is outdated and unreliable. The stores I remember have either moved, changed product lines, or simply no longer exist."

Tomura nodded as he listened, then looked back to the map. After a bit more observing, he asked, "What age do you think you are? Not mentally, I mean. Appearance-wise."

All For One thought for a short moment, judging his reflection in the glass covering the map. "I'd say... about ten or eleven, give or take a few months? Maybe?"

"Good enough." Tomura answered, once again taking his Sensei's hand .

This time, he was the one doing the pulling as All For One was forced to match his pace. For a while anyway. Halfway to the store he had in mind, Tomura glanced back and slowed down considerably.

The entire length of the mall wasn't all that large a distance to cross for Tomura, but puberty had blessed him with long legs. His Sensei didn't have that luxury anymore. Now, paused to catch his breath, his Sensei was flushed and panting just from trying to keep up.

Despite the drastic changes, it was so very easy for Tomura to forget his Sensei wasn't completely at the top of his game. Physically and mentally; he was better than ever, but in terms of strength, stamina and overall power? "Nerfed" really was a good way to put it.

Tomura shifted his stance akwardly as he waited. "Are you gonna be okay?"

All For One nodded stiffly, and though his face was hidden behind his hair, Tomura could tell he was frustrated. He'd seen that same defensive tension in his Sensei's hunched over shoulders plenty enough while the man -boy?- had been incapacitated to recognize it by now. He had only mere moments to prevent disaster.

Tomura inwardly panicked as his eyes roved over the shops around them, free hand once again scratching at his neck. 'How did Kurogiri deal with me? Uhhhh... he usually just let me wear myself out until I calmed down... I can't do let Sensei do that in public though! The attention would only make him more upset! Shit! What do I do?!'

Then his eyes finally landed on something that could work.

"Hey, Sen- er, Ichidai...," he started, "Have you, uh, eaten yet today?"

All For One seemed to startle before he looked up at him questioningly. "What?"

"Did you eat before we left?"

"No, I didn't. Why do you ask?"

"That's probably why you're so tired." Yeah, that's why. It totally wasn't because he was suffering a bout of "nerfed munchkin" right now. Nope. Not at all.

"You'd have more energy if you ate something, Sen- Ichidai."

"Well, what do you suggest?" All For One asked, "You're not saying that we should go back to the cafeteria after running all this way, are you?"

He shot a peeved look at Tomura, clearly unenthused about that idea. Though he probably meant for it to be disappointed or even threatening, he didn't quite achieve the desired affect. His puffed out cheeks and the pout on his face just made him look like a cranky hamster, and Tomura probably would have laughed at it if not for the imminent threat of a potential breakdown.

Instead, Tomura merely shook his head and pointed off to their far left.

It was a little cinnamon bun stand. Not exactly the best of breakfasts, but it was in the immediate vicinity and that was what mattered. Hopefully his Sensei would go for it.

However, the man-turned-boy seemed to hesitate as he eyed the sweet-smelling shop. "I shouldn't..."

"Why not?" Tomura looked down to him, confused. "You don't like cinnamon buns?"

"No. I do..."

"Then what's the matter? It's just cinnamon buns; one won't hurt. Or are you worried about Kurogiri? I won't tell him if you don't. Besides, it's your money, isn't it?"

Tomura watched his Sensei carefully. With each bit of convincing, whatever was holding him back seemed to crack and break. Though, ultimately, it was All For One's stomach that made his decision for him.

The low growl was just barely audible among the rest of the mall's noise, but Tomura heard it none the less. Upon realizing this, a flustered blush graced All For One's cheeks as he finally caved.

"Fine! I'll have one!" 

He began stomping his way over to the stand, and Tomura let out a quiet breath of relief that morphed into light snickers as he followed close behind. Judging by the increasingly incandescent flush on his Sensei's face, he didn't quite manage to hide them completely. Regardless, he supposed it wasn't all bad. His Sensei couldn't be too mad at him if the now-younger boy was still dragging him along by the hand. Crisis averted.

The young woman running the stand greeted them with a pleasant smile and asked what she could get them.

All For One stole a short moment to peruse the menu, then turned to Tomura after rattling something off. "Do you want one?"

Somewhat distracted by the sweet treats in front of him, it took a second for Tomura to realize what was being asked of him before he answered, "Sure. I'll have whatever you have..."

He tuned back in as their orders were put together. Thankfully, the prospect of food seemed to have put All For One in a better mood. A much better mood in fact.

It was almost surreal. His Sensei bouncing on the tips of his toes in excitement wasn't something Tomura ever thought he'd see. Granted, he wasn't dressed in his usual outfit -Kurogiri had done some digging and found some of Tomura's old clothes for him to wear for this trip, but it still felt strange.

It felt like he was seeing something no-one ever got to see, like he was seeing something private.

Tomura hurriedly turned his eyes back to the stand. The lady behind the counter finished making their snacks and chirped, "Thank you for coming! Have a good day!"

"You as well!" All For One chirped back as he snatched their plates.

They sat down at one of the tables in the stand's small dining area and began eating. Normally someone who preferred salty snacks, Tomura nearly gagged at how sweet the treat was upon his first bite. All For One had no such issue though.

While taking much smaller bites, Tomura gawked on. He could hardly believe his eyes. Their cinnamon buns were by no means small and covered in thick cream cheese frosting -with bonus strawberry biscuit sticks and rainbow sprinkles, because 'why not' apparently, but his Sensei was demolishing his own with an enthusiasm he'd expect from a second round with All Might.

Tomura pushed his half-eaten cinnamon bun aside. Resting his elbows on the table, he was perfectly content to keep an eye on everyone passing by while All For One finished his treat. Even if nobody knew who they were yet, it was better to be safe than sorry.

Especially with the state his Sensei was in right now.

"Tomura? Was there something wrong with yours?" All For One asked, a frown on his face as he eyed his own empty plate suspiciously.

Tomura shrugged. "Nah, it was alright. I'm just not much for sweet things."

"Here," he said as he nudged his plate towards All For One, "You can have the rest of mine if you're still hungry."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah. I ate earlier before we left; I'll be fine until we get back. You'll need it more than I will anyway."

All For One smiled at him and pulled the plate to himself. "Thank you, Tomura."

"No problem."

It'd be a few minutes longer before they could get to shopping, but Tomura found he didn't mind it. His Sensei rarely smiled so genuinely, so -in a way- receiving one was a treat in and of itself. It more than made up for the wait.

________________

Once they officially started shopping, Tomura was reminded of why he hated coming to the mall for anything other than his people watching.

Yeah, he knew it was their job to help and ask questions, but he could honestly do without the store employees getting all up in his business. If he needed help, he'd ask for it. Unfortunately, the lady attempting to help them just wasn't getting the memo. He'd tried everything everything short of telling her to "f' off," and she was still pressing. It was really starting to grind on his nerves at this point.

To make matters worse, Sensei seemed to be enjoying his suffering. Apparently he knew something about the woman that Tomura didn't. Either way, the way he was chuckling at him made Tomura want to wipe the smug grin off his face.

Screw that cute little smile from earlier, Sensei was a little shit.

#BB's Writing #BNHA Fanfiction #BNHA AFO #AFO #All For One #Sensei | All For One #BNHA Kurogiri #Kurogiri #BNHA Shigaraki Tomura #Shigaraki #Shigaraki Tomura #De-Aging #Age Regression #Age Reversal #De-Aged All For One #New Opportunities

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

thank you! i think you're genuinely the only person that has ever said they actually like the fact that my bathrobe is obnoxiously pink. and you're absolutely right, one of the things i like most about it is that it hurts people's eyes. i love it actually. if you ever celebrate halloween you should absolutely add your bathrobe to your costume. an amazing idea. since it has a mouse face on the hood it could be two costumes rolled into one - both a vampire and a mouse (if in the middle of the evening you get bored of one), which i think would be awesome. and you probably wouldn't get cold (is it cold in nz during halloween? because here it almost always is). we don't celebrate halloween in lithuania either though. which i'm a bit bummed about, because halloween sounds super fun. mostly because of the dressing up! but i did celebrate it once, when i was 11 or 12 maybe? me and a couple of friends decided it would be fun even if it's not really celebrated here. so we dressed up, even went trick ir treating (half the houses had no idea what was happening and also i pretty much froze to death because i was dressed as a dead bride and refused to put a coat on because then you couldn't see my dress) and also watched horror movies. 12 (or 11) year old me thought it was amazing.

oh yeah! i've broken a knife on 2 separate occasions i think. once i tried to get something out of between the blender's blades, used a knife and then accidentally turned the blender on (i'm so fucking glad it was a knife and not my fingers). so the tip of the knife broke off (the blender was ok tho). and the second time i have no idea how it happened. i was cutting up broccoli and the knife just fell apart??? i was so confused, because one second i'm holding a knife and the next it's just two pieces of a handle and the metal part, all separate. had fun explaining that to my dad. you sound pretty unlucky too! i mean, a cut every time you use a knife, but you don't even notice it at the time? i think it's just that knives are out to get us (it's my newest conspiracy theory). i actually get double vision too sometimes! mostly when i'm tired, but i just figured that it was because i have really bad eyesight

they definitely SHOULD teach about gender and sexuality in school. it's a really big problem that in a lot of places it's either not compulsory or not even in the curriculum. honestly, everything i know about sex ed or lgbtq+ i had to learn myself on the internet, because we only had one class when we were like 13 years old with a guest speaker and it was mostly biology and then a little bit about menstruation and pads for girls (i have no idea what they told boys because we were also separated). so sex ed definitely sucks a lot in my country and i bet it's the same in a lot of others, which makes me really mad

exactly!! it's so hard to tell whether i'm feeling romantic or platonic love sometimes! it's confusing. also i remember one time me and a couple of friends had a sleepover and the friend's, who was hosting, parents weren't home so we watched romance movies (scandalous i know). again we were maybe 12. and they kept going "oh he's so hot" and intensely watching the sex scenes. while i was looking away from the tv whenever sexy times were going on and commenting on how much i loved the house design and the garden. gee i wonder what that means. (still can't believe it took me this long to figure out i was ace)

the breakfast went very well though! it's so interesting how different traditions are everywhere. i hope your lunch and the rest of christmas day went well too! (also i forgot to ask last time, but what is boxing day? google says it's mostly a shopping holiday, is it that? we just call it the second day of christmas and it's pretty much the same as christmas day but there's no presents!) but yeah i hope you had fun with your extended family on boxing day!

having acid reflux sounds like it sucks. i love breakfast, it's my favourite meal of the day (when i don't have to rush that is) and i skip lunch a lot because i usually have no time for it (my schedule kinda sucks), so i usually try to have a bigger breakfast. but hey, peanut butter is good! so at least you can have something that tastes good for breakfast!

aaand i feel like this ask got away from me. sorry it's so long!

it’s because i have t a s t e. it may not be GOOD taste but it sure is...taste...and i am proud of it. and yes, i love the idea of adding my dressing gown to my costume specifically because it means i’m basically in my PJ’s. minimal effort. comfort to the max. living the dream. halfway through the night i’m tired of being the vampire no one invites in so i drop to my knees and start the mouse act. mice are good at getting in houses and getting to chocolate and such. the dream. also i absolutely would get bored of one costume within the space of a few hours knowing me, so that’s a plus. uhhhh halloween is october which is. mid-late spring so it really depends on the day. it might be a little cold, might be shorts weather. I rarely leave my house at night so I’m not an expert on nighttime temperatures sdflsdfjsd. 

I used to wish we did Halloween here but that was mostly because I wanted lollies. Although I also liked playing dress up as a young kid so maybe very young me would’ve vibed with the costume aspect. I know there’s a photo of me when I was like, 5 and my best friend of the time dressed up as witches at some point, maybe we had our own little halloween. I also possibly had a halloween themed birthday party once as a kid? I remember the little gift bags having spooky things in them and also possibly a bat cake but my memory is too bad to remember for sure. aha that’s the problem here too, no one locally would ever think to buy lollies to give out so it’d just be like um. you can have an apple I guess? at least you had fun though! i respect the commitment to the costume despite the cold. 

that is such a stressful story to read, i fear for your life. although i understand the knife breaking in that first scenario. that would be terrifying though. what if the blender launched it,,, nOPE. i’m very glad it wasn’t your fingers, that’s some horror movie shit. the second time is just,, it be like that sometimes. it was probably just waiting to happen. my parents have a cheese grater with a loose handle and it. falls off. every time. i dry it. with the dishes. and every time i fear for my life as the grating bit drops off towards my feet as i’m left holding the handle. i should expect it by now but i never do. I get scared every time it happens. knives are definitely out to get us, i fully support this conspiracy theory. oh yeah, tiredness doesn’t help with double vision. i kind of need bifocal glasses by now but I also don’t want bifocal glasses so i just suffer but I suspect having them would reduce the double vision. maybe. maybe not.

yup! i remember someone handing out tampons and pads at primary school, i assume after giving a talk about periods, idk. i do also remember a teacher pulling the girls aside and being like yo, this is what a period is, here’s a horror story about my daughter and a tampon, enjoy the trauma, go back to class. good times. we did actually get really comprehensive sex ed concerning most things at my high school but that is faaaarrr from the norm around here, clearly. although teenage boys are good at filling in gaps, in my experience. they’re like little sex encyclopedias that offer up information without you asking. i didn’t ACTUALLY want to know that but i do now, i guess, thanks michael. 

dude. the ‘oh he’s so hot’ comments are so confusing. ‘hot’ is like a category of attractiveness that I’ve never understood. ‘isn’t he hot?’ what does that MEAN rebecca. i think i asked once if it meant like, attractive or good looking. and the person i asked was like, you know, hot. you just look at them and, you know- no i don’t know. what is this. i don’t think i’ve ever watched a sex scene with people my age though, generally i just zone out for them sdkfhskdfh. i feel like there’s definitely all these indicators when you look back like oh yeah, should’ve realised i was ace then, but it’s just. such a hard sexuality to figure out. not that other sexualities aren’t but you’ve got to figure out an absence of something when you don’t even know what the something feels like- it’s a challenge.

I’m glad it did! It is interesting, for sure. I’ve always been interested in how winter Christmas’s work. As a young kid I didn’t understand hemispheres...obviously...i was like 5...and i��d go out on Christmas morning to see if there was snow. and sometimes it’d be a bit chilly in the morning and I’d be like damn. we almost had some this year. it’s a shame our climate tends to be too hot for snow on christmas :// like no you tiny dumbass it’s summer you little idiot there will be no snow no matter what. everything ended up going super well here :). boxing day is basically just a shopping holiday, i don’t know if it has any significance in any other way, i’m sure it did at one point, but i know there’s always boxing day sales everywhere. I think it’s also a public holiday (?) to give people another day off work and that, but I could be wrong there. I know I also used to regularly go to the races (horse races) nearby that were always held on boxing day, it was like a 150 year old tradition or something until people in attendance started dropping and I think they finally shut it down a couple years back. I didn’t care all that much about the horses but they also had food and carnival-type rides and such for the kids which is why I loved it. also we tended to meet extended family there for a picnic lunch.

acid reflux is like the least of my problems sdfkjshdkf. it’s annoying but it’s pretty managed with medication, I have to watch certain foods and drinks but I’m used to it by now. I think it’s also what causes me to not be able to eat large amounts normally so I survive a lot on snacks and a reasonable sized dinner. works for me. but peanut butter is good! i’m glad i can have that! I used to also have vegemite but that’s a bit more of a push, it’s easier to stick with peanut butter.

also it’s fine!! my responses are always very long too sdfjhskdf.

#i got told i probably needed bifocals like #at LEAST 2 years ago #probably more #but realistically i'm probably too dumb to use them correctly i wouldn't look in the right place for close vision or whatever #i'd probably give myself a headache #also to this day i have never gone NEAR a tampon #the horror story gave me enough trauma thanks #anyway gonna go eat an ice cream sundae and suffer #might fuck around and make my lactose intolerance hate me haha #it'll be WORTH it #i say now #in an hour i'll be dying #it's fine #Anonymous

[extreme-technicality]

does talking to an anon help about ninjago help? cuz I'm down

DHDKCKGSC YES IT DOES THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR OFFERING YOUR SERVICES

Okay now that I know I won’t be clogging people’s dashes buckle the fuck in my dude and I should stress that I literally would not be talking about this as much as I will be if I didn’t genuinely enjoy the show. I’m gonna go season by season and just Rant

S1 has the serpentine as the bbeg and like, as far as villains go they’re p lit. They’re early enough that they haven’t been done to hell, things are fresh, the characters and dynamics are being fleshed out, and all in all s1 is a pretty solid season. There’s some fuckery that gets brought up re: how the FUCK aging works and what the actual timeline of Ninjago is and how Wu and Garmadon fit into that timeline, fuckery that LITERALLY NEVER GETS RESOLVED IN A SATISFYING WAY BC ITS REVEALED IN A LATER SEASON (s8, dw we’ll get there lmao) THAT THE ONLY REASON THE FIRST SPINJITSU MASTER, WU, AND GARMADON LIVED AS LONG AS THEY DID IS CUZ THEYRE BASICALLY DEMIGODS AND ITS IMPLIED THAT LLOYD WILL ALSO LIVE FOR A LONG ASS TIME WHICH MEANS ONE DAY HES GONNA OUTLIVE ALL HIS FRIENDS AND EVERYONE HE EVER LOVED WHICH IS A FUN THING TO THINK ABOUT AT NIGHT But anyway I digress, s1 also coincidentally introduces Lloyd (he wasn’t in the pilot episodes that set up the rest of the series) and the existence of Evil Dad Garmadon.

S2 is where Garmadon starts acting a lot more Evil and a lot less Dad. He’s the main antagonist for that season, and I actually read somewhere that the show was originally slated to end after s2 which high key explains the fuckery of literally every single season after this lmaooooo. Much like s1, I really can’t find much to complain about, the first two seasons are pretty decent as far as I can remember

Season. Fucking. Three. Where the fuck do I start??? I hate season three for entirely personal reasons revolving around the STUPID GODDAMN ROMANCE WRITING. okay lemme back up and explain a thing first so, Jay is dating Nya and they’re fine, they’re going steady, aND THEN????? THE BEGINNING OF THE SEASON INTRODUCES BULLSHIT LOVE TRIANGLE FUCKERY FOR ZERO GODDAMN REASON, BITCH I HATE LOVE TRIANGLES AND I HATE THEM EVEN MORE WHEN THEYRE DONE FOR NO GODDAMN REASON!!! AND THEN. AS IF THAT WERENT ENOUGH. THEY SHOEHORNED A ROBOT ROMANCE BETWEEN ZANE AND PIXAL AND I KNOW I RANTED ABOUT THIS A LITTLE BIT WHEN I WAS ACTUALLY WATCHING BUT I DIDNT GO INTO ENOUGH DETAIL!!!! THEY MADE THE OTHER NINJA OOC IN ORDER TO PROP UP THEIR SHIP!!!!!! AND AT ONE POINT ZANE GOES “its like we were…made for each other” AND I HAD TO FUCUCJDHVE I HAD TO SCREAM INTO A PILLOW BRO, IM SO TIRED!!!! NO THE FUCK YOU WERENT!!!!!! YOU WERE MADE FOR YOU AND PIXAL WAS MADE FOR PIXAL AND IF YALLS WANNA BANG BOLTS THATS FINE BUT DONT IMPLY THAT EITHER OF YOU WERE MADE INCOMPLETE!!!! THATS AN INSULT TO YOUR MAKERS AND YOURSELVES, MOVE ON, PLEASE AND THANK YOU. anyway that season also killed Zane (for the first time, but not the last) (spoiler alert lmao) and like, not to be an emotional little shit but I did cry a bit at his funeral.

S4 is honestly one of my favorites, even though the romance crimes continue (the love triangle bullshit is continuing and honestly I maintain that Cole, Nya, and Jay should all have gotten together and in my personal canon they DID, and also Kai has a forced romance) the VILLAIN makes up for it imo. He’s campy!! He’s funny!! He’s a clown!! He’s serious enough that if he says “I’m gonna kill you” HE MEANS IT and that’s so fucking refreshing!!!! S4 is honestly 8/10 just for the villain alone, don’t like that it retconned the SHIT out of the elemental masters and how many different elements there are TO master but eh, it’s ninjago, shit is stupid.

S5 was…interesting? OH WAIT I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT S3 INTRODUCED A GARMADON WHO WAS A LOT LESS EVIL AND A LOT MORE DAD, HONESTLY I THOUGHT IT TOOK A LOT OF THE FLAVOR OUT BUT THATS JUST ME LMAOOO. anyway s5 killed Garmadon, and I was a little sad cuz I like him okay??? I just think he’s NEAT, he’s got big dad energy, he was teaching Lloyd some shit that just got DROPPED and literally was never brought up again which is honestly a theme in Ninjago. Ninjago drinking game: take a shot every time they introduce a plot point or ability and drop it at or before the end of the season. WHICH THEY ALSO DID IN S5 WITH A DIFFERENT POWER ACTUALLY, so all the ninja are masters of Spinjitsu right, well s5 introduced the concept of Airjitsu which only Spinjitsu masters can learn and it lets them FLY and they used that for seasons 5 and 6 and then they nEVER BROUGHT IT UP AGAIN EVEN THOUGH IT WOULDVE COME IN HANDY FOR S E V E R A L DIFFERENT SITUATIONS ACROSS THE SEASONS, ONE OF THEM WOULD BE FALLING TO THEIR DOOM AND MY ASS WOULD BE YELLING “YOU CAN FLY, DUMBASS” - anyway, they do that again later lmao it’s fine. But what’s low key NOT fine is they made Nya the WATER NINJA!!! Like I’m not mad she has powers, except I kinda am, she was doing just fine as Samurai X and honestly the only reason she has super special ninja powers is for plot reasons. Also Cole got turned into a ghost, but by s7 he’s????? No longer a ghost????????? And that’s NEVER addressed or reasoned away, so like. Cool lmao

S6 didn’t happen. Like, canonically, s6 ends with wish fuckery that undoes the entire season and none of the characters remember anything that happened except Jay and Nya because S6 is the season where they get back together so they remember all those events for???? Feelings reasons?????? Unclear, moving on. The actual bbeg for S6 was a djinn with a vaguely Spanish accent, and to this DAY I don’t know why they made him have a SPANISH accent. Djinn are Arabic, not Spanish!! They’re not central or South American, either!!!! Your villain design makes no sense, do better

S7 had MORE time fuckery, and retconned what happened to Kai and Nya’s parents and hmmmhmhmhmhmhm that makes me Upsetti Spaghetti :3 not just the retconning, but the fact that they LITERALLY brought them back oNLY TO NEVER MENTION THEM AGAIN!!!!!! LITERALLY!!!!!!!! Okay so at the VERY very beginning, like pilot episodes beginning, Kai talks about their dad like he died/left fairly recently, BUT s7 contradicts that and claims that both of their parents were essentially abducted when Kai and Nya were little kids, which makes me question what in the fresh fuck two little kids were doing for all those years alone. SETTING THAT ASIDE FOR A HOT SECOND, their parents were also apparently good friends of Wu’s and old war buddies (from the Serpentine wars, which is YET ANOTHER bit of the timeline that doesn’t quite add up but honestly I could make a whole other post about that shit). But if they were such good fucking friends, why didn’t Wu check in every now and again??? What the fuck was Wu doing that was so fucking important that he couldn’t have been assed to visit his friends ONCE in like TEN MOTHERFUCKING YEARS and realize “oh shit, they’re not here and there are two tiny children running around unsupervised…My Kids Now : )” LIKE????? WU YOU LOW KEY SHOULDA LOOKED OUT FOR YOUR FRIENDS’ KIDS BETTER, THEY COULDA DIED BRO!!! Uhhhh the time fuckery also results in Wu getting yeeted ahead in time a bit and the ninja gotta find him

Season. Eight. I have…mixed feelings about this one. The beginning absolutely SLAUGHTERED me, and not in a “this is so fucking funny” way. No, the beginning made me feel like I was being flayed alive with just about every episode because Ninjago was back on its forced romance bullshit and this time it was Lloyd’s turn on the chopping block. That hurt my soul cuz like, look at that mans color scheme, he’s CLEARLY alloaro, why are you forcing romance on my aro man, why would you hurt me like that, BUT ALSO BECAUSE HE AND THE GIRL HE WAS BEING SET UP WITH HAD A LITTLE HEART TO HEART REALLY EARLY ON AND IT WAS THE MOST QUEER CODED SHIT!!!! IT DEADASS READ AS A CONVERSATION BETWEEN AN OUT AND PROUD QUEER AND A CLOSETED QUEER AND THEY MADE!!! IT!!!!! STRAIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!! The only thing that kept me watching at first was wanting to find Wu, and then I started enjoying myself once Cole found a plot-relevant baby and had fatherhood thrust upon him. Everything went from “ehhhhh” to “holy shit this FUCKS” once it was revealed that Rumi (Lloyd’s love interest) wAS PLAYING HIM THE WHOLE TIME AND WAS EVIL AND HAD AN EVIL GIRLFRIEND!!!!!! LITERALLY IMPROVED EVERYTHING ABOUT THE SEASON FOR ME, I COULD EVEN FORGIVE THE WHOLE “let’s resurrect Garmadon, but as evil as possible” BULLSHIT!!!!!!

S9 is a continuation of s8, Garmadon is back and 1000% Evil, 10% Dad, but none of the Dad energies is directed at Lloyd - it’s all directed at Rumi, and honestly I could write a whole ass post on just RUMI cuz that’s honestly my DAUGHTER and I LOVE HER and I’m MAD SHE DIES AT THE END OF THIS SEASON!!!! SHE DESERVED THERAPY AND TO LIVE WITH HER GF AND MAYBE SOME CRIME. AS A TREAT. RUMI DESERVED BETTER AND LOW KEY IM GONNA WRITE A FIC ABOUT IT, BUT ANYWAY WHERE WAS I

Ah right, so s9 has the four major Ninja stuck in the original dimension with no way home, while Lloyd has no powers (cuz he almost died last season) and has to somehow lead a resistance against Garmadon (who has taken control of Ninjago City and is working on the rest of Ninjago). Actually, s9 is pretty cool. Like, the end of s8 and into s9 are low key my favorite episodes, and I kinda wanna rewatch them now -

S10 is a FUN one. Garmadon got got last season, but he didn’t DIE, so he’s in cold storage and now there’s Another Threat and he’s the only one who knows wtf they’re up against so they let him out and he works with them. The funny part is, he is still Very Much Evil and doesn’t quite Get emotions like he did when he was, uh, human lmao, sO HE WOKE UP EVERY DAY DURING THAT SEASON AND DECIDED TO CAUSE PROBLEMS ON PURPOSE. IT WAS THE FUNNIEST FUCKING SHIT. 1000000/10 MY FAVORITE GARMADON, he ended that season by literally fucking off into Ninjago and they never decided to track him down 😭😭😭😭😭and I’m so SAD about it dude

S11 has another Serpentine as the bbeg, though in the setup to that they retconned how the fucking Serpentine tribes and history work??? I think???? Also Wu was a good 150% angrier and generally Done with the ninja’s shit, which was honestly refreshing tho I’m not quite sure I liked what the refreshed view was, but whatever lmao. S11 also had the ninja get yeeted to the dimension farthest from Ninjago, and honestly - okay, so they didn’t all go at the same TIME, Zane left about a week or two before the others did but there was time dilation fuckery afoot which I’m not too mad about cuz low key it makes sense. What I AM mad about is that they didn’t play the angst up to its full POTENTIAL!!!!!! Zane was EVIL in the other dimension!!!! Okay so I’m Ninjago he was only gone for maybe a week or two, but DECADES had passed in the other one, and all that time Zane was alone and disconnected from everyone he knew and loved, with a staff that boosted his power while slowly corrupting him and Turning Him Evil to help him, and like???? The thought of Zane trying to find a way home, trying to get SOME sort of message back, while he has to use the staff more and more to help him survive the long, lonely decades, so that by the time his family DOES show up its too late??? BRO. B R O. THAT JUST HITS DIFFERENT, BUT NINJAGO DIDNT DO THAT!!! THEY MADE HIM EVIL DUE TO MEMORY WIPE!!!!!! MEMORY WIPE IS BABY SHIT COMPARED TO A LONG, SLOW CORRUPTION!!!!!!

S12 was alright. It went into Cole’s mom, touched on some of the adventures she had had, threatened another forced romance (this time on poor Cole, just leave my mans ALONE) but thankfully didn’t follow through this time, introduced cool new powers that honestly hasn’t been elaborated on since that’s the most recent season I think lmao

Anyway thanks for reading and letting me rant!!!! I have,,So Much More I could talk about, PLEASE ask me about Rumi, some of my headcanons re: Garmadon and Wu’s dynamic, the Serpentine, my top five times they butchered Kai’s character for Plot Reasons, or anything else I brought up here that you want me to elaborate on!!!

#technical talks #ninja hoe #ask dadzawa #nonnie #this was honestly therapeutic tysm #and it let me kill time before I play Mario kart so bonus points!! #I definitely forgot to mention A Lot (like all the times one or all of the ninja lost their powers) #so like!!! feel free to bug me for more shit!!!!

[paene-umbra]

For the ask thingy: all of ‘em. ❤️

First of all, thank you so much for asking me this! You’re awesome for taking pity on me and on all my followers by asking me a question and stopping my incessant begs for anon messages. 

1. Are looks important in a relationship?

I think they are fairlyimportant, yes. I think a relationship cannot do well unless you are attractedto your partner. I don’t mean to say that you always have to think your partneris the hottest person alive, but I think eventually you start to see them asmore and more attractive because you’re associating feelings with their face.

2.Are relationships ever worth it?

Yes, they are!! Even if they don’tlast forever, they still teach you things about yourself and what you like or don’tlike.

3.Are you a virgin?

No.

4.Are you in a relationship?

Yes, I am, and my man is goodto me. He helps me be better.

5. Are you in love?

Not yet.

6.Are you single this year?

Hell no.

7.Can you commit to one person?

Yes. I don’t share and I want myperson to make me feel special and I can’t feel special if someone isn’t givingme their full affection.

8.Describe your crush

Uhhhh, I’ll describe my boyfriend.He’s tall and handsome and muscular. His eyes are hazel and beautiful, and he’sgot the cutest crooked smile. Sometimes he laughs and it sounds so joyful and verysurprised, like he was trying not to laugh but it burst out of him. Sometimes Itease him and he holds his mouth open indignantly but he smiles while he doesit.

9.Describe your perfect mate

I think creating the idealperson in your head sets you up for disappointment and heartbreak. So, for a “perfectmate” I think I would just want someone who treats me right and understands myfaults and shortcomings and is compassionate of them, but also doesn’t let memake excuses and always tries to make me be the best version of myself.

10.Do you believe in love at first sight?

No. Love is something thatgrows over time. I think your can lust for someone immediately, but feelingstake time.

11.Do you ever want to get married?

I’m not sure, but definitelynot in front of hundreds of people. My love is to be shared with my person, notall our friends and family. If I ever did get married, it would be a small oneor an elopement.

12.Do you forgive betrayal?

Generally, no. People have toearn forgiveness now, I don’t just hand it out left and right anymore. If youbetray me, knowing full well that I am understanding and compassionate and havea huge heart, that’s on you. I can learn to live without anyone.

13.Do you get jealous easily?

Unfortunately, yes. I try notto, but I have low self esteem and if I’m not very clearly and obviously someone’sfavorite person it is hard to make sense in my head whether they like me atall. I always feel like I am the one who likes my person more than they likeme, and I hold them to unreasonable standards of the attention and affectionthat I want from them, and I get jealous when they talk about other people whenI think they should be talking about me. It’s terrible and I need to be betterthan I am.

14.Do you have a crush on anyone?

My boyfriend : )

15.Do you have any piercings?

Yup. Septum (14g), two earpiercings in each ear that are all stretched (the second holes are stretched to2g but I am trying to let them heal up for now and my first holes are stretchedto 5/8in), and my nipples (14g).

16.Do you have any tattoos?

Yup. I’ve got a spade outlineon my right wrist (for asexuality lmao) and I’ve got the Lonely Mountain fromThe Hobbit tattooed in the crook of my left elbow.

17.Do you like kissing in public?

Small pecks are okay but makingout in front of other people is unacceptable.

18.Do you shower every day?

Yeah, every morning before I startmy day.

19.Do you think someone has feelings for you?

Pretty sure my man does.

20.Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

Probably not. Unless it’s mydad, but I don’t care about that.

21.Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

Yes. Cheating is unacceptable.I will never cheat. Ever. If you can put your partner out of your mind longenough to let someone else into their place, you don’t love your person and youshould let them go.

22.Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

No. I don’t know if I could trustsomeone enough to marry them, and definitely not in as little time as 5 years.

23.Do you want to be in a relationship this year?

Already am.

24.Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

Yes, a few people. People haveonly recently started fighting not to lose me and I thrive off that shit. Ithelps me know my worth, which is something I struggle with.

25.Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?

My best friend from middleschool wrote a song about how ugly I was in middle school. We are not friendsanymore and that ruined my self esteem for a very long time.

26.Have you ever been cheated on?

Not that I know of.

27.Have you ever cheated on someone?

Never. See question 23.

28.Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change aboutyour body?

I have, but not seriously. I wouldget my chin done to make it sharper and probably smoothing to make my eyes lesshooded and more even. And maybe something to make my mouth bigger and my cheeksless chubby/more pointed.

29.Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?

Yes, unfortunately. But I am workingon that and being better than that. 2018 is the year of knowing my worth andnot letting people hurt me.

30.Have you ever experienced unrequited love?

Yeah lmao. He knew andexploited me for it. Fuck that guy.

31.Have you ever had sex with a man?

Yes.

32.Have you ever had sex with a woman?

Not yet.

33.Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

Yup. My boyfriend is 2 yearsolder than me.

34.Have you ever liked one of your best friends?

Yeah lmao I had a huge crush onmy best friend from high school. She told me that she would have dated me if I wasborn a boy and that confused the hell out of me because I would have dated her despiteus both being born as girls. I didn’t understand why she thought it was bad fortwo girls to date each other if they liked each other.

35.Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

Yeah, my ex was obnoxious, anda lot of people hated him and did not like being around me while he was there,and often told me that I deserved better and that I should dump him. I cravedlove and was so terrified of being alone that I continued to date him until hegot tired of me. I was thinking about breaking up with him for weeks leading upto our split but could never force myself to do it. I’m glad he finally didbecause neither of us were happy. Long story short, I should have listened tomy friends who hated him.

36.Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

Yeah, my ex from question 35.He was my best friend and I never expected to like him.

37.Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

I don’t think so, but probably.

38.Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?

Yes, but I would never evergive anything like that to someone. I used to write poems about my friends. I don’tthink I am a great creative writer, but I might be some day if I practice andmaybe got some prompts from people.

39.Have you had sex so far this year?

Yes.

40.How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?

Maybe a minute or two.

41.How long was your longest relationship?

Ten months is my longest (itwas my very first relationship) but I’m creeping up on 7 with my currentboyfriend and I think we will last a while. He makes me confront our problemsinstead of ignoring them and letting them fester. He wants healthy and I wanthealthy too.

42.How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?

Two total. One ex and onecurrent.

43.How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013?

None, lmao. I was in middleschool and VERY UGLY and nobody was interested in me.

44.How many times did you have sex last year?

Less than 15 times.

45.How old are you?

19!

46.If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

I don’t know. I would probablydie a little bit inside and tell them to go after the person they like.

47.If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?

The way he squeezes me sometimeswhen we’re laying in his bed, as if he can’t pull me close enough. About himunrelated to me, I like how strong and confident he is and how involved he getsin everything he does. I am constantly impressed by him.

48.If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, wouldyou accept?

Nope. I’m good, luv, enjoy.

49.Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?

My nephews! I love them somuch.

50.Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?

Not at the moment.

51.Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

I don’t think so, and even ifthey are, I don’t care.

52.Is there someone you will never forget?

I don’t forget anyone.

53.Share a relationship story.

The other day, my man and I weresitting on his bed and we got caught up talking and he ended up telling me thatI have been doing really well (emotionally and mentally) and that he was proud ofme.

54.State 8 facts about your body

I am of average height, I have brownhair, fingers on both my hands have semi-permanent indentions from my rings, mynails are square-shaped, my back hurts 100% of the time, I wear glasses, mybody craves healthy food often, my stomach is repulsed by any meat that isn’t chickenor sliced deli meats.

55.Things you want to say to an ex.

Nothing. I’m at peace and I don’twant to waste any more time on someone who isn’t worth it.

56.What are five ways to win your heart?

Bring me snoballs, play with myhair, text/snapchat me often, save my selfies, hold my hand in public.

57.What do you look like? (Post a picture!)

Add me on snapchat to find out.My username is “ughlaney”

58.What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?

The biggest age gap I’ve ever hadis 2 years. I don’t like big age gaps in relationships, especially if I’m theolder person.

59.What is the first thing you notice in someone?

Probably how often they smile orfrown. I’m big on “vibes” from people, and I try to read them as quickly aspossible to figure out what that person is gonna be like. And by vibes, I mean bodylanguage and comments that a lot of people don’t pick up on.

60.What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?

I don’t really think I findpeople sexy.

61.What is your definition of “having sex”?

One person inserting something intoanother person. Fingers, toys, other body parts, etc.

62.What is your definition of cheating?

Anything that you wouldn’t doin front of your significant other is cheating. If you wouldn’t do it in theroom with them, that’s cheating. If you know they would be hurt by what your doing,that’s cheating.

63.What is your favourite foreplay routine?

Oh gosh. I dunno.

64.What is your favourite roleplay?

I don’t roleplay.

65.What is your idea of the perfect date?

Hmmmmm… I think a really nice datewould be dinner (sushi probably, with Bang Bang shrimp!!!) with lots of talking,maybe a movie where my person holds my hand and rubs their fingers on mine andoccasionally pulls my hand to their mouth and kisses it, then we go back to theirhouse and hang out and talk some more and just lay with each other and enjoyour time. Maybe some sexy times but that’s not required.

66.What is your sexual orientation?

Unspecified….

67.What turns you off?

Diapers and baby stuff, specificallysomeone soiling themselves.

68.What turns you on?

Moaning. Hearing people moan isLITERALLY the hottest thing ever. I like that.

69.What was your kinkiest wet dream?

I really don’t think I’ve everhad a wet dream before?? I don’t dream about sex.

70.What words do you like to hear during sex?

I don’t like talking duringsex?? It seems very uncomfortable and unnatural and I’m not good at it becausethere is too much pressure to sound sexy and my anxiety takes over and locks myvocal chords shut. If anything, I would like to be called baby or somethingcute.

71.What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?

Not sure. I know I don’t likepublic displays of affection because I get uncomfortable in front of people I’mnot close to. A really cute thing that my man did recently was bring me asnoball as a surprise to my office. It was nice to see him. I think I wouldjust like for my person to hold my hand and talk about me to other people.

72.What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?

Nice clothes. Since I’m going tobe stealing them anyway, I want them to look good.

73.What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

The sweetest thing anyone hasever done for me was when my man put his arms around me and walked me from hisliving room to his bedroom, still hugging me, and whispered everything he likedabout me into my ear. He said silly stuff that he liked, such as the way myteeth chatter when I’m cold, my smile, my voice, etc. It made my heart do theTHING^tm

74.What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?

I’m kind of a piece of garbagebecause I am not very creative and can’t ever think of sweet things to do. Orat least I can’t think of any cute things I’ve done.

75.What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?

Depends on the size of the agegap and the age of the youngest person in the relationship. If the gap is largerthan 2 years, I don’t like it. If the younger person is still a teenager or inhigh school or whatever and the older person has graduated high school or arein college, I don’t like it. I think there is such a huge change in maturityand life experience just from going from 16 to 17 to 18 that anyone who is 20 (Iam being very generous with this age, because I do NOT like age gaps older than2 years so an 18yo could date a 20yo and like…..the maturity is still prettybig but I’ll let it slide) or older should NOT be talking to someone who stillhas a 1 in the tens place of their age. My own maturity and knowledge of theworld was wildly different from year to year, to the point where I was aCOMPLETELY different person at 16, 17, 18, and now 19 years old. I do notbelieve that relationships with larger age gaps (when the younger person is16/17/18/19) can be healthy because there is always that imbalance of power. Moretimes than I care to remember, I have seen older people, generally men,manipulate their much younger partners, generally women, and emotionally blackmailthem with comments like “if you were more mature you would agree with me/see mypoint/accept my behavior but I guess you’re still an immature kid” or anythingalong those lines. Like obviously there will be exceptions, but I really don’t believethat relationships with more than 2 years of gap when the younger person isyounger than 18 can be healthy.

76.What’s your dirtiest secret?

Oh gosh, I don’t think I haveany dirty secrets. Sexually I am pretty vanilla, and I don’t do many scandalousthings.

77.When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?

I was jealous when my man was talkingabout his funny coworker. I tried not to be, but I can’t help it yet. I amworking on being a less jealous person though.

78.When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

My sorority sister said sheloved me and I said it back.

79.Who are five people you find attractive?

My MAN

80.Who is the last person you hugged?

My man!

81.Who was your first kiss with?

My ex.

82.Why did your last relationship fail?

I was too needy and he didn’t care.I was pretty fucked up, too. I look back and realize I had a lot of flaws that Iwas ignoring back then, and a lot of stuff that I put up with that I shouldn’t have.Badness on both parts.

83.Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?

No. I need physical attention.

[saeranlover]

Oh hey uhhhh a second part to the OC backstory stuff I was writing the other day???

Time went by, and much to Alessia’s horror… Not a single attempt was made by her friends and her family to rescue her. Out of anyone though, she was angry at Sol. He claimed to be her best friend… His parents even claimed that he loved her! But she felt… Abandoned. He hadn’t done… well, anything.

About three months into being stuck in Hell, she had accepted her fate, living there for the rest of her life. There were guards at every possible exit, ordered to return her to their king if she was seen outside the castle. She was just going to remain there…

At least she was granted freedoms inside the castle… And surprisingly, Dusk was better company than she had thought…

“Yeah, I’m the only living demon in my family, but I prefer it this way. My parents were never about, too busy killing other demons to really do shit. Hell basically fell apart until I got hold of the throne.” It was evening, and Dusk had pulled Alessia along to eat with him. “We got to have responsibilities too, you know? It’s stupid how angels assume all demons were like my failures of parents.”

“Not all angels...”

“Of course, you’re the wonderful exception, Ale,” Dusk was smirking as Alessia began to choke on her food at the nickname, before she looked away awkwardly. “Aww, what’s the matter, never been given a nickname before? Humans do that at times to those they see as a close friend.” She glanced back at him, slightly confused as he reached out and patted her shoulder. “… Those other angels disgust me. How can they not want to be close to somebody like you? Maybe it’s a sign that you’re fated for better things than unfortunately being one of them.”

Those words affirmed the fear that was building up in her mind. None of them really did care for her… None of them were truly close to her… Tears of frustration built up in her eyes, before she slammed her fist onto the table. “It says a lot that I’ve been treated better by a demon than one of them… Everything I’ve known so far… it’s just been a huge lie!”

“That’s right… It has been. All it takes is a few weeks of living here in Hell to learn the truth that those head angels have been keeping from everyone… I believe that you, of anyone, deserve much better.”

It took a few minutes of taking deep breaths (and eating a surprisingly delicious dessert) for Alessia to calm down, before she stood up and stretched out her arms. Following that, she looked at Dusk before turning around to leave, before she felt a sudden chill in her wrist. She recognised that feeling… Dusk had grabbed her wrist with his tail.

“I want to show you something before you go off doing whatever you’re doing...” He then released her wrist, before extending his hand for her to take. By this point, Alessia had grew used to taking hold of his hand as he led her here, there, and everywhere. So, he led her to a room which she had never seen before… It was rather high up in the castle, there was a window in which she could see the entire town outside from it.

She watched with slight curiosity as he opened the door as she wanted to know where this was, before gesturing for her to follow him inside. It was dark… Until he snapped his fingers, and there was a slight blue light in the air as a variety of candles suddenly lit around the room. She never got used to the fact that fire was blue here…

“Hmm...” Dusk looked at Alessia, before grinning. “You suit being in this room much better than that little cell you sleep in at night...” He then released her wrist, before he paced back and forth as he spoke some more. “Of course, it is entirely up to you, Ale… But this is my room in the castle. The best room, of course, with the best views, most comfortable bed...”

Alessia turned pale as she looked around a bit more. It figured that a king would want to put himself in the highest possible place within the castle…

But… being in the same room as him…? It felt as though he was attempting to strip away what little freedom she had left…

When Alessia then went to look back at him, to ask why he wanted her to stay in there with him, she realised that a door to the side of the room was open, and he was no longer there… She slowly approached the door, and peered around to see if he was there. It was a balcony which he was stood on, staring out at a dark, mysterious looking mountain range which was splayed out before him.

“One of the things I like about this room… To one side, there are the demons I’m meant to rule over. To the other, the mountains which tower above me… Keeps me grounded, lets me know that even though I’m above all those others, there’s something above me too… even though it isn’t alive. Looks good too, sunsets are really nice to look at here. It’s private too...” Dusk then turned around, and gestured for Alessia to join him. “It’s gonna be sunset soon, actually…”

Slowly she walked over to him, and squinted as she went to look at the skies just above the mountains. As she was distracted, he went over to the door and silently locked it before returning to her side.

“Ale… Is there anything I can do to persuade you to stay in this room with me?”

Alessia’s eyes slowly moved downwards, towards the jagged, rough bottom of the mountains, before she clenched her fists. “I want to write a letter… I want to send it to the son of the head angels.”

“What? Why? And why their son?”

She scoffed, before turning her back to the mountain, but remained leaning against the stone railing of the balcony. “I want to tell him how pissed off I am at him still… It’s his fault I approached that inn in the first place, I wanted to prove him wrong. And his parents had the audacity to say that he loved me on his behalf when I first ended up here… And I want to rub it in his face that I’ve had a better life living with a demon for three months than in the heavens for twenty years...”

Dusk seemed quite impressed at how much anger Alessia was feeling towards the angels now… In particular the one which he knew had done several attempts to invade Hell simply to retrieve her, not that she would ever know…

“Wow, are you sure you’re an angel, and not really a demon? Because you sound as though you’re one of us now...”

Alessia diverted her eyes again, and spoke rather quietly. “I’m definitely still an angel… But I do feel like a demon at heart...”

“Perhaps, Ale...” He took hold of her chin, and made sure she was looking at him. “It’s because you really wanted to become a demon by stealing mine. It’s a very big feat, being able to steal the heart of a demon king...”

“What…?”

Dusk rolled his eyes then, before he placed his hands at either side of her on the railings. “Oh, don’t act so naive, Ale… You know what I’m implying. I can see that blush on your face...” He leaned in further, and pressed his forehead against hers. “How about we… trial having you stay in my room for one night. Tell me in the morning whether you want to stay or not...”

------------------------------

“Sol! Gosh, you’re killing us with how much stress you’re causing! Stop leaving without saying a-!” Sol had angrily returned to his home in the Heavens, just to be met by his father looking tired and frustrated. “Son, what happened?!”

A pained look formed on Sol’s face, before he pushed past his father and sat down. “Alessia’s younger brother heard about my attempts to try and get into Hell to rescue her… He’s her only family, so I told him no, as he needed to be here for when I got her free… But he followed me…” Sol closed his eyes, and proceeded to hit a wall. “He was impaled by a demon! I tried to get to him, to rescue him… Heal him… But some demon big shot appeared! I don’t know who it was, except the fact that he had green hair… He muttered something to him, before he- he- he killed him!”

Sol’s father remained silent as Sol explained what had happened, before he sighed and rolled his eyes. “Alessia is not worth your life, son! Your mother is ill, and I’m getting to a point where I can hardly keep things together on my own. You are next in line to be the head angel, and so, you need to be here… It’s time for you to move on...”

He failed to mention the bitterly worded letter which had arrived for his son whilst he was away.

#mari's OCs

[whyareyouyellingatme]

A post I deleted in the end

Here's one of the most personal/long things I've ever posted, and if you hate me you'll probably have a field day laughing at this one. I don't know how long it'll take before I maybe...delete it. I don't want anyone to respond with likes or comments. If you have something to say you can pm me, but I don't enjoy talking about it outside of one ong rant. I rant like this so I can jot it all down for records / evidence I'm not irrational, and then move on.

Here's the TL;DR: Rick Ranquist - 40+ years old, lives in Utah possibly Michael Aigner - mid 20's, probably lives in Bellingham by the pool Cooper Texeira - My age, lives in Seattle and goes to my school

All these men are white sexual offenders that did not get a punishment for their crimes.

When I was seven my 20+ year old babysitter did stuff with me that I did not understand, and I don't properly remember a lot of it. I thought it was a game, but it was actually doing sexual favors for a pedophile. I read a line in "The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe" about a man trying so hard to forget something unpleasant that he eventually succeeds in forgetting it. I tried to do that with the memory, and it sort of worked until I heard his name, Ricky. My brother said, "Remember when Ricky----" and that's all I heard before I started dissociating and everything was like someone was smothering me with a pillow.

His sister called me a liar when I said "your brother does weird stuff with me and plays games I don't understand". I decided if she didn't believe me, nobody would, because she was my neighbor and my friend. She still doesn't know today I was telling the truth.

I got raped when I was 19 by a 23 year old that had been grooming me since I was 16. I tried reporting it to the police and they laughed at me, nearly hanging up on me. I went to the ER, got a cervical exam while a doctor ogled my vagina with awe (because my relatively young genitals excited him, how professional). The taxi driver saw me crying and said "you put him on a list! Get him on a list!" and nope, he didn't get put on any kind of list. That fucked me up for a long time. I was numb for a long time. I just watched non stop television and didn't think. I can remember the exact outfit I put in a brown paper evidence bag, and I can remember the exact outfit I wore for days afterwards. I really changed as a person after that. Being isolated from all your friends and spending 3 years dedicating all your time to a shitty abusive man that made you think everything was your fault. Not fun.

Weirdly enough, a man who's in my family pushed me not to report the rape or try pushing for anything else from the police, because he thought it would traumatize me further. I gave up. I didn't want to see Michael, he made me sick. I was partially relieved I got out of the cycle of abuse, but I held on to a rage for a while . I still feel it if I think too much about it. I get really angry but it helps nothing because what can I do ? I'd imagine scenarios where I got to kill him as revenge.

It looked really cute on the surface! It looked like I was having a good time. But I was having panic attacks every week trying to make him happy, despite the beatings, despite the yelling (bc that's normal in my household so I thought it was normal in relationships) until the day that he went way too far.

I really thought it was my fault and that I deserved it for being stupid or not good enough. I was too focused on a very heavy school schedule and an eating disorder/self harm problem to realize I could do better for myself. Of course all of his friends saw me as a "crazy bitch" as he was beating me, real nice. His family was really racist and he broadcasted all of our arguments to them. His sister threatened to hit me with a wrench, not knowing/caring that her brother was already beating me. All of them just kind of watched whenever I broke down crying in front of them. His dad said "women get like this", I'm not...a woman. Not for someone like you dude.

Michael showed up at my house a couple days after it happened too. He stalked me for a while. I still get freaked out being alone sometimes. I have a knife collection and pepper spray, and even guns, but none of them make me feel as safe as a genuine friend does. I'm easily startled and for a while I had really horrible nightmares and panic attacks in public. It got a little better with time, but I still have really bad days. It's still difficult going anywhere near medical centers or dealing with cervical exams.

(I tried speaking with a nurse about the possibility that I have PTSD from that event, and she brushed me off with a "Women used to get raped all the time and they would have to just deal with it. You should lose some weight." Which started up my eating disorder again...horribly enough, people have been so cruel to me but I still care so much what they think.)

I tried faking confidence and happiness in college. I don't have a supportive healthy family, I just have me and whoever decides to be my friend. I made a friend group and went to parties with them. That was fun until a person I trusted grabbed at me when I was incredibly drunk. He led me to his room where I passed out. I wasn't sober enough to understand what was going on or even walk properly, and he texted people things from my phone saying that I was okay. It was all just kind of stupid honestly.

I woke up the next day in my room, on the floor, feeling kind of gross and even more gross as I try to figure out what happened the night before. He shows up at my work wanting me to serve him ice cream. I go in to report him because he did end up grabbing me without consent.

I lost my friend group. And after describing him grabbing my chest and ass in a disgusting amount of detail to a man that said "I remember being a young man and partying in college" with a cheerful nostalgia, I lost the case too. He didn't get anything. At this point I was kind of used to being treated like a piece of meat, so I was just mad he didn't learn anything. In fact, he has been checking up on me online to find dirt on me and report ME to the school for talking shit. His girlfriend has been doing the same, angry because she thinks he was trying to cheat with me. Cheating is consensual.

People just don't learn sometimes. I'm not a thing. I'm an nb lesbian though, and the guy that tried stuff with me when I was drunk knew that. He thought he could convert me.

I've been going through all of this without therapy, trying to just go to school. I tried telling a counselor about my situation and he said "those are long term problems that the university cannot handle".

Maybe I seem quiet and aloof, maybe I'm annoying to you, maybe you think I'm a liar or something stupid like that. But god damn it, I am a human being. I've been through some gross shit. I'm tired of people touching me and trying to invade my space. I'm tired of creepy ass college professors comparing me to their girlfriends and saying shit like "things aren't going so well with her". It's never a compliment you're just fuckin weird dude.

I'm super disconnected from reality even now (sometimes) because I don't like thinking about any of this. I stayed silent about it for quite a while because of all the people who probably wouldn't believe me. But uhhhh fuck you guys I know who I am.

This is a really personal story, especially very personal to be posting on facebook. It makes me feel super vulnerable, but not as much as having the memories bouncing around in my head nonstop makes me feel. I have a girlfriend now and I'm living in a pretty safe place at the moment. There's a lot of other shit happening in my life, my PTSD dog (one of my only sources of comfort in a bad time) got hit by a car and died. :( You all probs know about that, I just miss her when I think about the past. So I've just been trying to figure out how to help myself, you know?

This post got really fucking long and I don't feel like editing it. If you ever think I'm quiet, it's because I'm tired of explaining myself. I want to be my usual joke-y self but sometimes that feel really fake. I don't like thinking about all of this, but I think someone should know.

I wanted to write this post when I was sure I could finish it without crying. It has been a while since something super bad has happened to me, and that distance between the event and reality really helps muffle the emotional response.

Cheers to the survivors that aren't "good" survivors that react a specific way. Cheers to those of you that aren't comfortable sharing your story because it's really not anybody's business unless you want to say something.

I don't know, I still try and have fun, pretending nothing happened. I hate this crap. I hate the emotional baggage. Wish I could chuck it, but my brain has a different plan.

Like, all of this shit happened on TOP of me living in an extremely abusive home so you can imagine I tried to kill myself.

I'm a human being. Stop treating me like shit. I'm tired of it. I'm also not as mean as I look, I don't bite. I'm here for you as a friend if you need it. I just couldn't sleep tonight because of all this crap.

Please don't react to this I'm just babbling. I don't want to deal with people that have no empathy for my long ass story just because it's long / badly written. I'm just tired. I'm soooooo fucking tired.

Edit: I'm trying to reread this just once, but I can't even do it. Like not because it's hard, I literally just look at the words and they mean nothing. My brain basically put up a firewall against upsetting shit so I lose touch with reality whenever I get near it for too long. It's hard describing dissociation but if you would like to know more u should google it. A weird time. Anyway gn I'm alright I just needed to fucking let it out.

[lavender-buck]

Rules: you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

Tagged by: @mikanseidest​!

The Last

1. drink: Water! 2. phone call: It was my mom asking me if I needed anything from the store! 3. text message: My girlfriend Megan <3 4. song you listened to: This Pomp And Circumstance cover 5. time you cried: Last night/Early AM hours this morning 6. dated someone twice: Yes technically and he was awful both fucking times 7. kissed someone and regretted it: I mean... It wasn’t really consented to on my part, so I regret not decking him for it. 8. been cheated on: Probably, but he would never admit it 9. lost someone special: Yes. 10. been depressed: It’s been.... A doozy lately. 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: No, never been drunk! I hate alcohol, actually.

3 Favourite Colours

12. Baby blue 13. Pastel yellow 14. Pastel pink

In the Last year have you

15. made new friends: Yes! 16. fallen out of love: Nope! 17. laughed until you cried: Yeah! It happens a lot actually! 18. found out someone was talking about you: Mhmmmm 19. met someone who changed you: I sort of... Re-met somebody.  20. found out who your friends are: Yes. 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: Nope!

General

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Uhhhh like.... Probably around 12, but they’re family. 23. do you have any pets: I have Stihl and he’s actually a service dog so not really a pet, but he’s still an animal I own. He’s half German shepherd and half husky. I also have a male delta tail betta named Levi, he’s black and green/blue with white. I have a marimo I consider a pet too named Armin... 24. do you want to change your name: Well legally yes, since I’m transgender and my deadname is my legal name. I also try to consider a middle name for myself often, but Carter always seems to be my favorite. 25. what did you do for your last birthday: I cleaned my room.... And baked myself a cake that was secretly for it (My parents are JWs, birthdays are forbidden), and bought myself an Armin figure with a gift card my girlfriend gave me. <3 26. what time did you wake up: Oh, like a quarter to noon. 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping... But I woke up later that night. 28. name something you can’t wait for: To live with my girlfriend! 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: Just a little while ago, she was falling asleep on the couch rather than eating the food I made her... She’s very tired. 31. what are you listening to right now: My dog is barking in his sleep and my fish tank’s bubbler... 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: Wh????? YEAH 33. something that is getting on your nerves: People screaming “DOGGY” and pointing and squealing like they’re 2 when I’m out with my service dog, making me look like a circus act or some sort of freak 34. most visited website: Tumblrrrrr 35. hair colour: Auburn 36. long or short hair: Short, but I really need a trim... It’s getting out of control! 37. do you have a crush on someone: Armin Arlert My girlfriend!  38. what do you like about yourself: I like that I’m very soft(TM) and full of love! I wish others were more like that! 39. piercings: Just my ears! I keep small silver studs in them! 40. blood type: I dunno.... 41. nickname: Laurie, Bunny, and some people know me by Ingo. 42. relationship status: Taken in a monogamous relationship! 43. zodiac: Capricorn 44. pronouns: He/him/his 45. favourite tv show: Attack On Titan and Medabots and Pokemon and MLP!!!! ALL OF THOSE!!!! 46. tattoos: None, but if I were to get one I’d want a tiny bunny somewhere cute. 47. right or left handed: Right! 48. surgery: Nope! 50. sport: Nuh-uh! I’m a momma’s boy, I don’t do sports! ....Running with my dog maybe? 51. vacation: Near the ocean on a beach with lots of sand and salty seawater and ocean air and cool food vendors!!!!!!!!!!!!

MORE GENERAL

53. eating: I just finished making and eating vegetarian chili with garlic bread, and had some rice crispy treats for dessert! 54. drinking: Water, just water! 55. I’m about to: Watch Game Grumps and talk to my loving girlfriend until bedtime! 56. waiting for: When I get to see my girlfriend irl! And when I can hopefully buy more amano shrimp for my aquarium some time in the future! 57. want: Lots of Armin Arlert, Pokemon, and MLP merch! 58. get married: If my girlfriend wants to down the road! 59. career: I wanna train dogs or groom them!

WHICH IS BETTER

60. hugs or kisses: HUGS. 61. lips or eyes: Eyes! 62. shorter or taller: I’m really used to people being taller, Idk what I’d do if I met somebody shorter honestly.... I’m not ready to be the alpha... 63. older or younger: Older, for sure! I really have a thing for older partners. 64. nice arms or nice stomach: Tummy! But my definition of a nice stomach is a big round chubby one... 65. hook up or relationship: Relationship. 66. troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant, definitely. 

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. kissed a stranger: Absolutely not. 68. drank hard liquor: I was forced to and it’s part of my PTSD :’)))))) 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: I lose my glasses all the time, aaahh.... 70. turned someone down: A lot, sadly. 71. sex on the first date: Sadly yes because past me is fucking stupid. (I’m an irl virgin but if long-distance shit counts....) 72. broken someone’s heart: Definitely, but we’re still good friends because we made up! 73. had your heart broken: I’m not sure uhhhhhhh does trauma count and abuse 74. been arrested: Nope 75. cried when someone died: ...I cried when my favorite betta died actually, he had some sort of infection and a huge tumor that he had when I got him. His name was Geranium and I called him Gerry (Jerry) for short. I still miss him because I’d spend literal hours by his tank when I was depressed. But no humans close to me have ever died actually, not ever. 76. fallen for a friend: All of my lasting relationships were friendships to romance.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. yourself: No, to put it simply... 78. miracles: My girlfriend and my dog are miracles!  79. love at first sight: No. 80. santa claus: I was raised as a JW lmaoooo 81. kiss on the first date: Not unless they were already a friend first!

OTHER:

84. eye colour: Hazel! 85. favourite movies: All the Pokemon ones and BAMBI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BAMBI BAMBI BAMBI BAMBI AND WINNIE! THE! POOH! I also like this one movie called Felidae, but I dissociated the entire time so LOLLL WHO KNOWS IF IT’S ACTUALLY GOOD 

I tag: @stupid-things-and-armin-arlert, @joeyarlert, and @stardust-moth if you guys wanna do it! No pressure if you don’t wanna!

#buckpost #tagged

[madelina-morituur]

1-154

Eeeeeeee!! Thank you!!!!!!!!!❤️❤️❤️1: Full name. Madalyn Kate2: Zodiac sign. Gemini3: 3 fears. Being alone, losing my babies, fire4: 3 things I love. My cats 😻, sleep, potatoes lol5: 4 turn on’s. Bruising, blood (inflicted on me by my partner), passionate kissing, turning my partner on6: 4 turn off’s. Being stinky/dirty (me and my partner both), feet, scat, vomit7: My best friend? Daddy 💕8: Sexual orientation? Pansexual9: My best first date? Hmmm my best first date was probably with my current partner, he took me out to eat and then took me to the fire station (he's a firefighter!!!) and let me sit in the fire trucks!10: How tall am I? 5'8"11: What do I miss? A regular, normal, healthy sleep schedule12: What time was I born? 11:34pm13: Favorite color? Light blue, but really any pastel-y color14: Do I have a crush? Maybe15: Favorite quote? "Fuck off"16: Favorite place? Bed lmao17: Favorite food? Depends on my mood! Always down for pasta/chicken tenders/any form of potatoes tho18: Do I use sarcasm? Nah 😏19: What am I listening to right now? The bedroom fan and Calista purr20: First thing I notice in new person? Their attitude21: Shoe size? 9ish22: Eye color? Blue/grey23: Hair color? Brown24: Favorite style of clothing? Pajamas25: Ever done a prank call? Yeah26: What color of underwear I’m wearing now? None27: Meaning behind my URL? I was put to eat w my friends, and the restaurant's website was "meatballs.com" and my friend was like ayy it's you but sad! And here we are28: Favorite movie? Don't have one29: Favorite song? 1-800-273-8255 by Logic at the moment 30: Favorite band? Twenty one pilots!31: How I feel right now? Kinda sleepy and hungry32: Someone I love. Daddy33: My current relationship status. Taken34: My relationship with my parents. Good35: Favorite holiday. I hate holidays36: Tattoos and piercing I have. Well shit. I've got my ears pierced in several places, my nose, and both of my nipples. For tattoos, I have an ampersand on my thigh, Paisley's paw print behind my ear, two flowers on my right forearm, a sunrise with the quote "the sun will rise, and we will try again" on my left forearm, a cat on my upper arm, a semicolon on my ankle, and the anti-possession symbol on my chest!37: Tattoos and piercing I want. SO MANY38: The reason I joined Tumblr. I don't even remember anymore39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? I want her dead, so yeah I guess so40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts? sometimes!41: Have I ever kissed the last person I texted? Yes!42: When did I last hold hands? Hmm yesterday, maybe?43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 10-20 minutes depending on how tired I am44: Have I shaved my legs in the past three days? No lmao45: Where am I right now? Sitting on my bed46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? Daddy47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? LOUD48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? No49: Am I excited for anything? Dinner!!!!!!!!50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? Yes51: How often do I wear a fake smile? Almost every day52: When was the last time I hugged someone? This evening53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? Depends on the situation, if it were in the bedroom I'd be so into it. Outside of the bedroom, I'd be heartbroken54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? Yeah55: What is something I disliked about today? I worked a 10 hour shift and my feet hurt56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Hmmmm57: What do I think about most? Death58: What’s my strangest talent? I can brush my teeth with my feet!59: Do I have any strange phobias? Strange? Probably not60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind61: What was the last lie I told? "I'll let you know!" With no intentions of going to said plans w that person62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Phone 63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yes and maybe64: Do I believe in magic? No65: Do I believe in luck? No66: What’s the weather like right now? Getting chillier and chillier as the night goes on! 67: What was the last book I’ve read? Into The Water68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? Love it!69: Do I have any nicknames? Nah70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? My skiing accident probs71: Do I spend money or save it? Depends72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? No73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? My sheets!74: Favorite animal? Cats75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? Uhhhh talking to Daddy I think 76: What do I think Satan’s last name is? Who knows?77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? Way too many to list!78: How can you win my heart? By treating me like the princess i am, duh79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? Nothing80: What is my favorite word? Hmm81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr? Fuuuuuuck uhh @jeff-granger that's all I got I don't wanna pick favorites 82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? End my life????83: Do I have any relatives in jail? Not that I know of84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? Being invisible85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? "How are you?"86: What is my current desktop picture? My computer is broken 😭87: Had sex? Yes88: Bought condoms? No89: Gotten pregnant? No90: Failed a class? Yes91: Kissed a boy? Yes92: Kissed a girl? Yes93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? No94: Had job? Yes95: Left the house without my wallet? Yes96: Bullied someone on the Internet? No97: Had sex in public? Yes98: Played on a sports team? Yes99: Smoked weed? Yes100: Did drugs? Yes101: Smoked cigarettes? Yes102: Drank alcohol? Yes103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? No104: Been overweight? Yes105: Been underweight? Yes106: Been to a wedding? Yes107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Yes108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? Yes109: Been outside my home country? Yes110: Gotten my heart broken? Yes111: Been to a professional sports game? Yes112: Broken a bone? No113: Cut myself? Yes114: Been to prom? It was senior ball, but same idea, yeah 115: Been in airplane? Yeah116: Fly by helicopter? Yup117: What concerts have I been to? A few religious ones with my mom, Jordan sparks, warped tour (several bands there but the big ones were mayday parade, of mice and men, bowling for soup), pierce the veil&sleeping with sirens, twenty one pilots118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? Yes119: Learned another language? Oui 120: Wore make up? Yes121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? Yes122: Had oral sex? Yes123: Dyed my hair? Yes124: Voted in a presidential election? Yep125: Rode in an ambulance? Mhm126: Had a surgery? Yeah127: Met someone famous? Yup!128: Stalked someone on a social network? Yes lol129: Peed outside? Yeee130: Been fishing? Yes131: Helped with charity? Yes132: Been rejected by a crush? Yup133: Broken a mirror? No134: What do I want for birthday? More stuffies!135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? None136: Was I named after anyone? No137: Do I like my handwriting? Eh it's okay138: What was my favorite toy as a child? My bratz dolls lmao139: Favorite TV Show? Ahhhh so many!140: Where do I want to live when older? Vermont141: Play any musical instrument? Piano142: One of my scars, how did I get it? Big giant one on my leg, I was in a bad skiing accident and cut my leg open! You could touch the bone 😅143: Favorite pizza topping? Extra cheese144: Am I afraid of the dark? Sometimes145: Am I afraid of heights? No but they make me nervous 146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? Yes147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? Yup148: What I’m really bad at. Keeping up on dishes/laundry/etc149: What my greatest achievements are. Well I'm alive, so there's that 150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me. Uhh151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery. Pay bills, buy a car and a house, give to friends and family, save the rest 152: What do I like about myself? My tits are okay 153: My closest Tumblr friend. Chris!154: Something I fantasize about. Dying

[supernatural-squadd]

Dancing With Time

Winchester Sister Imagine

Song I think goes semi with this fic: Long Time Traveller (click to listen to it)

Warnings: Depressed reader, suicidal thoughts, language.

Triggers: Suicidal thoughts

A/n: I know it’s been so longgggggggg but here’s a shit fic for my blog and all of you. I got some small things from quotes or poems here and there.

Sister tags: @skeletoresinthebasement

Forever Tags: @Freaksforthewin , @thewinhunter, @cambriacaneatnoodles, @brokennoone , @@youtubehelpsmesurvive , @chrisevansthedoritobastard , @@winchesters-favorite-girl , @@we-know-a-little-about-a-lot @godh8salyssa @dean-baby-Winchester @@straightasdeanwinchester @@animexchocolate @@fabulouslycassie @@lizbeth-loves-bobear @nicolesyneah25 @@lemonadegazeelle @@i-am-an-outcast @@evyiione @27bmm @percussiongirl2017

“She’s getting bad again,” Dean spoke openly to Sam in what he thought was a confined area.

“She won’t say it but I can tell. The way she always dances around questions. Spending time in her own company constantly like she did before when she was slipping up. I think that’s why she’s popping up randomly. Bunking with us…” Your oldest brother took a sip of his beer before exhaling softly.

“I think you’re right. Y/n hasn’t been herself again lately. You know what that means right?” Sam too exhaled softly. Your problems with depression always was a hard subject for the two of them to discuss.

“It means that you guys need a better security system. If I could just walk in here, it means you’re slacking.” Coming out from around the corner you revealed your not so hidden presence.

“And yes, it is bad again. Thank you for noticing.” You added on, bowing sarcastically at your brothers towards the last part of the sentence.

“How much have you had to drink exactly? I can smell it fuming off of you from here.” Dean practically barfed at the stench. Adding a dramatic gag to his words.

“Two words Winchester: No. Regrets.” You spoke with the words slurring awfully off of your lips. “I’m taking off my pants, stealing one of somebody’s flannels, and passing out in my old bedroom.” You not so carefully stumbled backwards towards the wall.

Sam and Dean simply exchanged the ‘I told ya so’ brotherly look to one another. This had to have been your fifth day on a straight drunken long lasting and constant binge. There wasn’t a waking moment you lasted without being hammered. It’s how you ended up coping with the whole “my minds a piece of shit” thing. Which started as a teenager when John began to treat you and your brothers like more and more shit.

“I’ll deal with it in the morning. She needs to be semi sober before I try and give her the big talk.” Dean tapped the table twice before rising to his feet and dragging his own body off to bed.

Of course you heard not a word of this conversation, but apart of you knew it would be coming sooner or later. Seeing as it was wide out in the open that depression has come knocking on your door once again.

It couldn’t have been more than 4am when Dean came waltzing into your room like it was happy hour at an all you can eat buffet.

“Rise and shine sleeping beauty!” He beamed with lovable and over excited joy.

With squinted eyes, you rolled over to look at the bright screen on your phone. Once you read the literal time, you scoffed and threw the blankets back over your head. Clearly Dean wasn’t going to allow this, because he grabbed onto the top and threw his body over the covers so you were unable to pull them back up.

“What. In the fuck. Are you doing?” The words came out slow and in a very pissed off manner.

“Uhhhh what’s it look like I’m doing? Eating pie in your bed.” He scoffed. “Obviously” with a simple word he added so much sarcastic sass do his sentence.

“Fuck you man, it’s the ass crack of dawn and I’m too sober for this.” You did your best to roll over but Dean simply moved over at your motion. Sending on on the verge of falling off of the bed.

“You can’t banish me from my own bed you dick weed.” With all the little strength you had, you pushed him with your back.

“We need to talk. And I think you know what it’s about.” His tone changed completely. Going from funny and childish to a serious tone.

“Oh yeah,” you say up and quickly brushed your hair out of your face. “I am so too sober enough for this.”

Leaning over you tried to grab a bottle from under your bed. Bur realized it was nowhere to be found. Turning to Dean, you saw a smug “gotcha” look on his lips and the bottle in his hand. Pie still sitting in his lap.

“Nope. We’re not drinking vodka at 4am.” He held it as far away from your grasp as he could.

“Well. Isn’t this just tragic.” Dramatically you swung your feet under the blanket and laid flat on your back. “Get to it if you want to talk, because I want to sleep all day considering I haven’t slept for over a week.”

Dean sighed oh so slightly while shoving a bite of pie in his face. More like a shark sized bite judging by the size of it.

“Look okay, I’m now gonna get all mushy gushy fairy love on you. Sam and I are just worried.” He shrugged while inhaling another bite. All the while he spoke with a mouth full of food.

“You should be worried about yourself seeing as you woke me up from my much needed beauty sleep. I might just have to cover your face in makeup…..again.” The words half laughed out and half yawned out. Showing just how tired you were.

“Good thing your sense of humor didn’t get enveloped in the dark rain clouds storming over your head.” Dean sarcastically joked. Halfway being serious all the same.

“Look, I know you guys worry. I do. And I want to get better. It’s not going to be like last time when you found me half dead. That’s why I keep showing up randomly. Being around people helps me, but so does drinking.” This was the most upfront about anything like this you’d ever been. Maybe it was showing how much you wanted to live. Hopefully.

“I’ll make you a deal: I’ll stop drinking my pain away, if you let me sleep right now and make me some of your heart attack inducing food on a daily basis. Deal?” In a swift motion you held out your hand and smiled. Something that barley even happened a lot anymore.

With a shake of his head and a low laugh, Dean held out his hand.

“Deal. Now scootch over. I’m sleeping in here.” His hip bumped your side in an attempt to urge you to move.

“Uhhhh Hell mother fuckin' no you’re not. You got crumbs all over my bed and ate half of MY pie that was made for me!” Standing up you somehow managed to get him to stand up too, and began to shove him towards the door.

“What? Are you serious?” He seemed almost honestly shocked you didn’t want to cuddle.

“Dead serious. Now out brat brother. And make me my breakfast for when I arise from this deeply needed slumber.” With a light chuckle you shut the door.

A deep prolonged sigh came from your lips as your back hit the door along with your head. It took a few moments for you to recollect yourself. All your thoughts.

Walking calmly over to the nightstand you pulled open the drawer. Taking the already perfect written note into your hands. Reading it one final time.

“I think I hit the point in my life where I’m just utterly and completely done. I cried. I fought. I tried. Please, God know how I tried. Not for myself but for you two- Sam and Dean. Beemus and Butthead. Everything seems to be crashing down. My inner demons and monstrous thoughts are screaming louder and louder. More violent each time than the last. This time, I couldn’t fight it back. I’m sorry. ~signed: Your asshole sister.”

One single tear fell onto the once white clean paper. And just like that it was gone. Crumbled up and burned in the trash can the next day.

“If only it was so easy to be released from this dark grasp death has on me...please don't hate me for my decision."

#dean x reader #dean winchetser #dean winchester imagine #sam winchester imagine #sam x reader #sam winchester #winchester brothers #winchester sister imagines #spn #spn imagines #supernatural imagines #superatural #supernatural