#but too many people react to the myth that it DOES by acting like it's impossible for someone w a pd to abuse anyone

[the-moon-lullaby]

Hi! It's so great to see someone writing for good old mc. Can I get the boys (by that I mean Nathaniel, Castiel, Lysander, Kentin and Armin but feel free to left some out if that's too many characters) talking to Candy's pregnant belly? Ofc feel free to ignore if you are uncomfortable with topic of pregnancy or kids. Also have a great day!

The HSL boys talking to Candy’s pregnant belly

N/A : Heyy! Thank you for being so considerate in your request, it's lovely of you ! It was fun to write ! Thank you for your request and have a great day as well darling !<3

𝙲𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚕  

He would totally sing to Candy’s belly. Whether it is a Crowstorm unreleased song or a little lullaby, he’ll do it and you can’t convince me otherwise. Perhaps at the beginning it would be at Candy’s demand and he’d act annoyed/bothered but don’t let him fool you : he loves it. At some point, he’d just do it. Like if he’s writing a new song or anything, he’d sing it to Candy’s belly (and to Candy as well ofc). Double audience for my guy now

However better not tell anyone about this or he’ll get a bit embarrassed. He likes the fact that these moments are just between him, Candy and their baby. It’s just so intimate to him so he feels like this would ruin it a little if Candy starts to tell or brag about it to other people (as if she would tho)

Not but for real, just picture him singing Hakuna Matata to Candy’s belly (PLS this is so wholesome and funny at the same time, I CAN’T)

Also I think he would be the type to randomly interact here and there with the baby like, for example, when complaining about people (‘cause we know he does that sometimes) « God, people sucks ! Not you though, mate. » Cute 

After a while, when he feels completely comfortable with talking to the baby and that you’re both used to it, he’d be more emotionally open and would say things like « Can’t wait to meet you mate » or if it’s this kind of day when he doesn’t want to come off as too sentimental he’d go for something like « You’re gonna love Pancake » or « Pancake is so impatient to meet you buddy ! » (the dog is a good cover, right ?)

That said, I just know that Castiel would always refer to the baby as « mate » or « buddy » (any nicknames like that honestly) even if you guys already choose a name. Why ? Well because he believes it makes the situation less cheesy but (in my humble opinion), it just makes it even more adorable

He secretly wishes for his baby to be able to recognise his voice but pretend that it’s not that important to him (it is). As if he was trying to bond with his child even though they’re still in the womb lol. So behind this chill facade that he keeps on, if the baby moves or kicks while he’s speaking or singing, he’ll instantly get so excited (forget about being embarrassed, he’s to thrilled for that at the moment) and it would be the cutest thing ever. Ofc Candy would tease him a bit about it but bold of you to assume that this is going to stop him

He might even break his own rules and go brag about how his baby reacts to his voice.

And now he can’t wait to hear them in return.

𝙻𝚢𝚜𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 

Oh Lord ! This man, I can’t. Lysander talking to Candy’s belly would be the sweetest thing ever. 

Just imagine : Lysander reciting the most heartfelt, passionate and soul-stirring poem (that ofc he wrote himself because this man has it all y’all) kneeled in front of Candy’s belly. 

Honestly Candy would be tearing up at this sight (just as I am imagining it, Lysander truly is a gift) and when he notices that he would just place a kiss on Candy’s belly before kissing her forehead and take her in his arms. So freaking sweet. 

Lysander’s poetic (rizz) talent isn’t just a myth. He’s the embodiment of poetry if you ask me and he certainly has a way with words. 

Between him and Castiel, it’s some creative boys that we have here. How lucky

That said, be prepared for him to constantly write poems about Candy and their child. He has now two muses so his inspiration is doubled

Also, I feel like when it comes to choosing the baby’s name, he would just say the names in front of Candy’s belly and see if there’s a reaction inside. Just because he kinda wants his baby to choose their names somehow

Ofc he would sing to Candy’s belly. I mean with his angelic voice (as it was mentioned more than once in the game), how could he not ? 

I think Lysander would not feel ashamed to talk to his baby (unlike most of the boys at some point). Not in the slightest. And it make sense because since when Lysander care about what people think ? The only persons that matters to him are the persons he loves and they would never make fun of him or judge him for that. 

And of course, he'll be the greatest dad ever (his kids won't ever relate to Daddy issues by the Neighbourhood or Family Line by Conan Gray, that's for sure)

𝙰𝚛𝚖𝚒𝚗 

 Ok so with Armin if you expected heartfelt speeches or sentimental words from him, you’ve come to the wrong place. We don’t do that here lol (However, out of topic, I think Alexy would do that for him though as the invested uncle and the drama-queen he is, and ofc Armin would laugh at him)

Don’t assume he doesn’t talk to the baby though. He does and does it a lot. 

I don’t know why but I can picture him telling Candy to sit next to him while he plays LoL ( for example) and explaining how to play a game to her belly or tell everything  about the Zelda lore (idk about you but that’s funny to me)

Candy might even get annoyed at some point but Armin will joke saying that they need to educate their child as soon as possible (little does Candy knows that Armin is only half-joking lmao)

He is totally the kind of guy that will address to Candy’s belly without explicitly showing it just to mess with Candy. Let me clarify : for example he would say something and it could be anything really and Candy would go « huh ? » and « I wasn’t talking to you, I was talking to them, duh. ». But it’s all fun and games, nothing mean obviously

Or also, when Candy curses for whatever reason, he would act so shocked « Oh my God ! Have you heard what Mom said ?! » (pls someone stop this guy)

It still cute because, Armin’s playfulness is part of his charm and more than often it makes Candy smiles so everything’s alright and the baby could hope for a cooler dad.

𝙺𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚗  

Over protective dad. I won’t argue with anyone about this, I just know

You know these « dad-like speeches » where they swear they’ll always be there for you and protect you with their life ? Well that’s Kentin on a daily basis

And keep in mind that for now, the baby isn’t even out of the womb yet. My guy is rea-dy to deal with it lol

It’s actually very sweet and knowing how Kentin always felt ignored or despised by his father, it is very important for him that his child knows that they’ll can count on him no matter what

He wants to be someone they can rely on and that’s why he says it often to Candy’s belly. That way he’s sure that they know (well not really but you get the point)

I don’t see him speaking with a baby voice though because he’ll feel a bit shy about it (it’s actually sad when you think of it but most guys are embarrassed about doing things like that. That’s a shame if you ask me but let’s go back to the Headcanon before I start ranting about societal issues and how Toxic masculinity ruins lives)

But when Candy is asleep, that’s another story 

He’s just so happy that he and Candy get to have a family of their own after all this time

I mean, this boy has been in love with her for so long so the idea of having a little one as a result of this unconditional love ? My boy is over the moon right now so let out the baby voice 

That was before he got caught by Candy one night and he became so red that it looked like he got instantly sunburned

But let’s be honest, he can’t stay embarrassed in front of his girl for long because he knows she loves him as much as he loves her. Therefore, he never shied away talking to his future child from now on. 

𝙽𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚎𝚕 

So, we know that Nath doesn’t want children. That’s canon. However for the sake of this request, let’s say that he reconsidered and changed his mind (probably after months and months of therapy) 

I think of all the guys, Nathaniel is least to be talking to Candy’s belly and there’s multiple reasons for that : First, he would be embarrassed (yeah, again). Even if he knows he can be vulnerable in front of Candy, he would cringe at himself if was to do something like that (why do I get the feeling that Nath is so easy to cringe lol ?). The other reason would be that he’s still processing and that the baby’s arrival feels so far away yet (forgive him for that, he’s not exactly known to be in touch with his emotions)

But then, as the fateful moment approaches, all his attempts to gaslight himself into believing that everything will be perfectly fine seem to fire back at him

That’s about when he starts to get insomnia. Most nights, he would be just laying in bed, tired and ready to meet Morpheus with Candy already asleep by his side when this chest-crushing anxiety would take over him. « Will I be good enough ? Patient enough ? Caring ? Will I be enough ? ». Really these thoughts terrify him and slowly drive him crazy (add to that the sleep deprivation)

He categorically refuses to tell Candy about it because he knows she has enough to deal with (pregnancy is a trial of life, so I’ve heard) and he doesn’t want to be a burden to her (poor baby). And it’s not like he’s gonna ask life advices to his dad because this man might be one of the worst father figures you can think of and Nathaniel want to be the opposite of this man in terms of parenting. Candy can tell something is bothering him but getting this boy to talk is far from easy

So, one night when he’s laying wide awake in the middle of night, he can’t help but to stare at Candy’s belly and instinctively, puts his hand over it. A so gentle move that it could barely be felt, as if he was scared to wake the little one (and Candy as well). 

Then without knowing why  he wants to tell his future child that he’ll do his best so, in a whisper, he makes this promise. And then he makes another one and keeps going naturally. All whispers. He asks himself if these promises are for the child or for himself until he feels something timidly moving under his hand.

He could barely feel it. To the point he thought he imagined it. But it didn’t matter. Somehow, he felt relieved. About what ? He couldn’t be sure about this but maybe it was a sign that his baby knew that he was trying.

After that, it would become a habit. Every time he would struggle to fall asleep he would whisper to Candy’s belly, hoping that the baby hears (even if sometimes he tells himself that it’s ridiculous but who cares if it is after all ?)

He’ll never tell Candy about it or not before a while as he likes the idea that this is him and his kid’s secret and he know can’t wait to meet them because he doesn’t want to let fear keeps him from being the father they deserve

(𝖮o𝖿, 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗌𝗍 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗀𝗎𝗒 ! 𝖡𝗎𝗍 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗄 𝖺𝖻𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗂𝗍, 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝖺 𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖾 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗋𝗈𝗎𝗍𝖾 𝗐𝖺𝗌𝗇’𝗍 𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗌𝗍𝗒 ? 𝖭𝗈𝗍 𝗌𝗈 𝗋𝗈𝗆𝖺𝗇𝗍𝗂𝖼 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍𝗂𝖼 𝗂𝗇 𝗆𝗒 𝗈𝗉𝗂𝗇𝗂𝗈𝗇. 𝖧𝖾'𝗌 𝖺 𝖻𝗂𝗍 𝖾𝗆𝗈𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗉𝖺𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗁𝖾'𝗌 𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝖻𝖻𝗀) 

And there you go ! Hope you enjoyed it ! there might be mistakes but I wrote this at 4am instead of studying for my Italian exam because why not eheh (this was much more fun to do) This is a first (and I am struggling) but I think it's pretty okay

See y'all soon and wish you the best ! <3

PS : Here's a little song recommandation ‘cause I can & it’s a good song ! It's called Run Away to Mars by Talk and I thank my labo teacher for recommending it, she's a sweetheart !

#mcl #mcl nathaniel #mcl lysander #mcl alternate life #mcl armin #mcl kentin #mcl castiel #my candy love #my candy love nathaniel #my candy love lysander #my candy love armin #my candy love castiel #my candy love kentin #amour sucre #amor doce #mcl headcanons #mcl al lysander #mcl love life #mcl al armin #mcl al kentin

[dreadwulf]

here I go rambling on a little bit

I think re: Jaime never telling anyone what really happened with Aerys and the wildfire has a few more points wrt Tyrion and Cersei:

Jaime is the kind of guy who is going to be whatever his family needs him to be, especially now that he has basically nothing left BUT family, certainly not honor.

So he’s Cersei’s golden mirror, her other half, the same as her just with a sword. He insists on this. But his struggle to do the right thing, of “so many vows”, would not have been the same crisis for Cersei. She would have acted differently and even if she took a similar action, she wouldn’t care about the “Kingslayer” reputation. This immediately does not jive with their myth of “one soul in two bodies” and he knows it. He must. Because he didn’t tell her.  Cersei wouldn’t understand and therefore she cannot know. Instead he will act like he doesn’t care, breaking his vows was no big deal, just like Cersei would have done. 

For Tyrion he is the protector, his confident golden big brother who doesn’t care about anything but his family and would do anything for them. Jaime is not a complicated person, from Tyrion’s pov. Not a big thinker. He will cut the knot rather than untie it because it’s simpler and faster and Jaime is impatient. He won’t engage in deep inner debate about the responsibility of rulers and the meaning of honor and justice. If Tyrion thought he did that sort of thing, they would have that conversation together. But they don’t! They never do! Jaime provides physical protection and emotional reassurance for him and does not reveal anything resembling doubt or weakness or vulnerability. 

All of which rules out sharing anything like “I’m struggling with trauma and a moral dilemma I was never able to resolve and I’m dying inside” even to the two people in the world he is closest to. And who else is he going to tell? His father? LOL no. And if he can’t tell his own family who are the only people who don’t despise him for what he’s done, he is going to sit on this secret for decades. 

What’s even more interesting is that he doesn’t tell them even after he tells Brienne. Her response to him was really key to his development*, she showed him more respect afterwards, she revised her thinking of him. But why didn’t he attempt the same thing with his family? Because he knows they would not react the same way? Maybe he knows he would not get more respect from them for what he did, might quite possibly get less. But it might be that he realized the version of himself that he has been for them, he doesn’t actually like very much at all, and he starts trying to throw that persona off. Which is a much bigger job than simply confessing about the wildfire, and he’s already gotten what he needed on that point from Brienne. The discord with Cersei is more prominent, but almost the first thing that he does at KL is shatter Tyrion’s hero-worship of him by telling him the truth about Tysha, and I think that’s part of this process too.* It’s all burying the Kingslayer and seeing what’s left. 

*If she had reacted with disdain I fully think he would have shut down extra hard and never told a single other soul.

*An entirely different confession, another memory he has not thought about before or since.

[messerkampf]

aaaand ask for Oval:) 💥 COLLISON, 🍰 CAKE SLICE , 🕷️ SPIDER, 🎭 MASKS, 🔪 KNIFE, ☄️ COMET, 💘 HEART W/ ARROW

💥 COLLISON - what emotions do they have trouble dealing with?

anger and sadness. oval can be pretty volatile-- she doesn't like being sad or crying, so she tends to just funnel those feelings into something angry instead. she's pretty mistrusting because of that and her past experiences.

🍰 CAKE SLICE - favourite cake flavour? are they specific about types of cakes?

she has so many opinions about cake. she's someone who will tell you how much texture and flavor, alone and separate, matter to a dish akjshdakhdf

her favorite flavor is black forest cake! she likes the cherries.

🕷️ SPIDER - what is their biggest fear? do they have any irrational / mundane fears?

she fears losing people close to her, and by extension, fears getting close to people. she's not afraid of dogs, but they make her uneasy generally. when she was a kid and not a teen, other teens would tell her scary stories about shapeshifters-- part of her is still irrationally jumpy about the old myths and superstitions they tried to scare her with, even tho now she thinks meeting a shapeshifter would be cool.

🎭 MASKS - do they act differently around certain people? what's different between the way they act around friends, family, strangers, etc.?

oh absolutely! she tends to put on a very aloof vibe-- she's trying to be cool and detached, and she kinda is, but she's also very clearly an angsty teenager. she makes it work and she knows what shes doing, but its also kind of endearing. she relaxes a lot more around people she's close to, and shows more of her genuine emotions instead of hiding behind the "snarky too-cool-for-this" girl.

🔪 KNIFE - how do they react to injury / misfortune befalling their loved ones (significant other, family, friends)? do they put themselves at blame?

she does not react well! she's lost a lot of people she's been close to already, and she often time blames herself for not doing more or acting quicker. she's awakened, but struggled to use her magic consistently, and got blamed a lot by others and herself for never using it to heal or fight or act faster. it drives her crazy-- she feels inadequate and is sick of losing people she cares about or seeing them get hurt. it's given her a pretty complicated self image and mixed feelings toward her magic.

☄️ COMET - what do people assume about them? are they right?

oval's a satyr, so she knows she's an already pretty unusual sight. people assume she's somehow 'special' because of that-- like they've found some magical person who's going to give them sage advice or fall in love with them. she loves shattering that perception <3 ajsdhadfh

she also looks her age-- a lot of people will write her off as incompetent or young, but she's very capable and experienced, even if she has a lot to learn. sometimes she likes being underestimated, but she's mostly grown to hate it, since most of the babying she's gotten has been from people her own age.

💘 HEART W/ ARROW - what traits do they look for in a relationship? do they believe in love at first sight?

she already has trust issues, so finding someone she thinks is really genuine and doesn't raise any of her personal red flags is a big deal for her. she also likes it when someone can dish her sarcasm back to her. and she has very little time for social games and the usual lovey-dovey stuff. she just likes someone who's the same speed as her and likes getting into the same trouble as her kajsdhkahdf

she doesn't believe in love at first sight, but she does think people can be 'meant' for each other in a way.

#thank you for asking all these!!! i lov talking abt these nerds ;u; #my oc: oval #dragonfall #shadowrun

[kendrixtermina]

Edelgard and “meritocracy” - an essay

In this essay I wish to adress the common argument that “meritocracy bad, therefore edelgard bad” & the logical leaps therein.

Before we begin, I’d like to stress that she doesn’t even use the word “meritocracy” & they’re not even looking at it’s modern definition but reacting to the way it has been used as a fighting word to denigrate the poor specificically in the post reagan modern USA & then assuming Edelgard means the exact same thing by that without bothering to examine what she actually says & in what context.

Modern capitalism & the way it uses rhetoric of merit as an excuse is bad & with its reduction of human value to their moneymaking ability, definitely inherently ableist, I agree totally.

But 3H does NOT take place in the modern world. Progress is always relative to what came before. It*s progress away from entrenched problems.

It’s a total failure to even imagine a world different from the sucky one we live in - that’s exactly what tolkien meant  by that saying that if we’re prisoners we have a duty to escape.

Edelgard doesn’t live in a capitalist society nor is she bringing about capitalism (if anything Claude’s the one talking of free trade & giving the merchants what they want, though he is almost certainly playing them much like the church)

And the main component of capitalism - factory owners, rich elites who owns large swathes of companies or real estate - is nowhere to be found.

In our world that cropped up because industrialization made owning factories, offices, trade etc. more lucrative that just owning the land, so factory owners replaced landed lords, essentially promising the peasants freedom if they helped them overthrow the kings but granting them only in a limited manner - the flawed inequal democracies that resulted were a compromise between peasants and factory owners.

But by and large the nobles are very much in the same niche as the factory owners today - they own the land and get special trade privileges (the means of production), they often abuse the populace with impunity, the peasants are very poor.

Edelgard cracks down on corruption & special trade privileges even during the timeskip.

And like the rich of our world, they have a self-mythology propaganda justification based on merit. Yes, there is the “by the grace of god” argument, too, but crests give you extra fighting power, and if you look at the Ferdinand support for example you do see that Fodlan’s nobles - especially the adrestian ones - see themselves as a honed elite that is trained from birth & therefore better at ruling.

Not quite the same argument a modern billionaire uses - who is very invested in convincing you that they didn’t get their power and wealth by their birth - but a myth nonetheless.

Edelgard’s not bringing “meritocracy” as in brutal competition opposed to caring social safety nets, but as opposed to unearned privilege.

If you wanted to compare that to any kind of sociohistorical context, you might look at Napoleon’s peasant liberation or the implementation of civil service examinations in ancient China.

That wasn’t an all good thing - In the same way that Europe is very impacted by the legacy of rome both good & bad (there are persisting bad attitudes toward war, authority and agriculture for example), east asia still has a lot of education obsession causing pressure & unhealthy work habits to this day.

But if you compared ancient china before the reforms to ancient China after it definitely got better, by ancient china standards.

We couldn’t expect the people back then to come up with all advances up to our exact modern values at once (not can we be sure how much of our values will stand the test of time)

Considering that Fodlan’s ideal of merit is basically what Lorenz, Ingrid and Ferdinand are embodying for their respective countries, and that she stocks her inner circle with very different leaders, it is no stretch to say that she wants to shake up the social ideas of what even counts as merit, to make ppl value other things that crest power or elite upbringing, the same way we might say today that hey, cleaners are valuable actually.

Edelgard is basically doing her world’s equivalent of taxing the billionaires - reducing the power of what the overprivilieged class happens to be, & it’s obvious from her talk of how she despises inequality that she would hardly be for rule of factory owners.

When Edelgard says that she wants to make Fodlan more merit-based, that has to be taken in the context that she lives in a world where your birth determines everything, incompetent nobles can be as lazy as they want, and no one cares how competent you are if you lack a crest, title or both.

If she looked at our world, she would quickly see through the propaganda that it is supposedly “merit based” and object to how wealth and national origin obviously dictate wealth & opportunity while talented people go to waste in sweatshops.

Now of course there have been arguments even against “perfect” meritocracy - one is the devaluation of working class jobs.

To this one could answer that this is more a flaw in how merit is conceived. Historically there have been societies that exahlted blue collar work, artisans or farming.

The second argument, however, is not so easy to get rid of: That is devalues people who can’t just go & produce like machines, especially the unemployed, the sick, the mentally ill, the disabled…

But at this point we’ve got to lean back & get our definitions straight, & make it clear what we even mean by “meritocracy” -

Because if we’re just talking about the basic idea that competency should be rewarded, I don’t think too many people disagree with that. We might see a problem with valueing the competency of a doctor or lawyers dispropottionally over the competency of a cleaner or a bricklayer, but we all, by and large, want the people who prepare our goods and services to be competent. Maybe we wouldn’t exalt it over all over qualities, but most of us admire skill.

Of course the problem with the political rhetoric of “meritocracy” is that it goes beyond just rewarding skill, first with the afore mentioned rewarding of only some skills, but mostly with the reversion or overemphasis of the above: Saying that skill is the only thing that matters (to the exclusion of any inheent human value) & that those who don’t have it are worthless.

First I want to throw out the thought that this is a product of the production/profit orientation of capitalism, but one could of course imagine, as many sci fi authors have done, a non-capitalistic society that is still obsessed with merit at the exclusion of those who are not oriented towards productivity & care more about fun & relationships than producing, or those who can’t produce because they are sick or disabled.

So now we must ask ourselves the question: Which of those views does Edelgard actually hold?

Cause I want you to notice that they’re not the same. “Skill should be rewarded & jobs should be done by competent people”  is not the same position as “Skill is the ONLY thing that matters and if you don’t have it you are worthless”

In one position, skill is a good quality, in the other, it's a prerequisite to worth.

Most of us here probably agree that skill is admirable (we like and reblog pretty fanarts), but not that the unskilled are worthless.

Looking at her superficially I could perhaps see how someone might suspect her of the latter -  She gravitates to & surrounds herself with skilled intelligent people and she’s obscenely superpowered.

It’s an misunderstanding that Dimitri makes in-universe, he accuses her of “only benefitting the strong”

But note that her answer to that is that she wants to empower the weak to no longer be weak & decide their own lives, instead of accepting charity. (Contrast with how Dimitri romanticizes abyss, for example, even as Claude points out that locking the poor underground is hardly help.)

Of course she can say many things, as rulers often give florid speeches.

But let’s have a look at what she actually thinks. How does edelgard actually act towards people who struggle or aren’t productivity oriented?

This is one of her lecture questions from part I:

“When one professor lectures many students, some will inevitably have trouble keeping up, while others will get too far ahead in their studies. I wonder how this problem might be solved…”

Her favorite answer is “lectures should be optional”.

Which part of that sounds like a bell curve type eugenicist “only skill & intelligence counts” kind of person? She wants the struggling students to be taken proper care of, not just the good ones.

Look at the speeches she gives to Petra & Lysithea about not giving up on themselves & wanting them to move forward from an empowered mindset. Look at how she tells Lysithea to take it easy & not overtax her body. (Not "don't whine & keep working")

Look at Bernadetta - very much an ‘unproductive’ individual with great struggles & limitation. Does Edelgard dismiss her as a weakling? Not at all. Not even in the C support. She makes sure to stress her good qualities when introducing  her, makes an effort to be more patient so as not to scare her, & they become good friends.

Look at the Linhardt support - at first she mistakes his behavior for youthful lazyness (He’s 16 after all) & wants to get him to apply himself, but when she realizes that he just has different priorities, she respects that, & works to get him the exact sort of position that he wants. No “suck it up!” or dismissing such a different lifestyle. Nor does she chide him for hating fighting at any point.

Edelgard does everything in her power to accomodate people so they can do their best. She sees the value even in strange unsocial people that society would dismiss. She found a job for someone like Jeritza & helped him, she doesn’t hesitate to make Dorothea a general or Manuela the prime minister no matter what people say or if they don’t act like typical politicians.

Also, when she talks about choosing her sucessor, she wants them to be brilliant/competent yes, but also kind and 'an outsider' (ie, impartial) - hardly a PoV of "if you are skilled you can do whatever you want and if you aren't no other quality matters". She's prizing kindness & objectivity just as highly, something which is absolutely reflected throughout all her actions & behaviors towards others.

She doesn't devalue living quietly & low key without making waves - in fact, that is her dream life, which she deems superior to achievement and ambition, which are to her just tools to archieve good aims.

She couldn’t be further from having a narrow definition of what a “valuable” person is, she is all ABOUT empowering people to take control of their own lives, no pity-driven charity, no paternalism, none of that. This is one of my favorite traits about her, so I can’t help but get mad when people accuse her of being the exact opposite.

But maybe the biggest argument is abyss. This is where the genuine underclass lives, poor, struggling, traumatized, refugees etc.

Edelgard isn’t as vocal during Cindered Shadows as Claude - she can’t blow her cover & just isn’t as expressive personality wise. But she’s the one who makes everybody swear to take care of Abyss no matter who wins.

And her route is the one where, instead of telling you that they lost people, Hapi tells you that they’ve all been pretty much fine over the timeskip.

If you want to help the struggling & the poor and those who don't have "conventional" skills, you should back edelgard.

#edelgard #edelgard von hresvelg #three houses #fire emblem: three houses #fire emblem three houses #fe3h

[maddieinwonder]

The Seventh

Slight Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: None at all

Word Count: 1.6k

Plot: Reader hears a lot of rumours about the BAU before she applies to join the team. (Part 2 here!)

Author's Note: I love the idea of the BAU being notorious in the FBI, because honestly, they totally would be! And I would be lying if I said I've never crushed hard irl on a mysterious genius boy...

Masterlist

------------

Before you decided to join the BAU, you had heard all kinds of gossip about its members. It was a hot topic among your colleagues, but you could hardly blame them for the shameless act, when you left one ear open for it yourself.

Professionally, if they weren't called the BAU, people called them the "serial killer guys", since they couldn't seem to escape them in their cases. But among your lunch group, they were called "The Seven".

It was an embarrassing name in your opinion, too easily implying that the BAU was elite, untouchable. But the more you learned about them, the more you thought there could some truth to it.

Number One was SSA Hotchner, the unit chief known for his stone cold attitude. You heard a rumour that he once threatened the BAU section chief without so much as batting an eye. Anybody else would have been fired on the spot, but it seemed that Hotchner was so unrivalled in his job that he was asked to stay anyway.

Hotchner's opposite was SSA Rossi, who seemed to be the more "human" of the two, but that didn't make him any less intimidating. He was famous both in and out of the FBI, having built the BAU from the ground up, and written multiple best-selling books about criminal analysis. Why he decided to return to the BAU was a mystery to everyone, but you had a feeling he actually missed it.

Then there was SSA Prentiss. Everyone's consensus was that she seemed nice, but ultimately professional. People theorised that her political upbringing made her into a politician herself, but you once saw her in the BAU office laughing so hard that tears started rolling down her cheeks, and that's when you decided she couldn't be as stiff as the rest made her out to be.

SSA Morgan was the one everybody liked, on a shallow level at least. All your fingers and toes weren't enough to count how many people you knew had a crush on him. You've seen grown women visibly swoon when he walked by, which was partially hilarious for you, but also partially embarrassing for womenkind. You could see the appeal, somewhat, but he wasn't your speed.

Your favourite was JJ. Jennifer Jareau was the BAU's communications liaison and the only one you'd dare call a friend. You'd worked with her on multiple cases in the past, and in fact, she was the one who recommended you for the new position. She's a complete sweetheart, but you also knew that she once headshot an unsub right in the BAU office to protect Penelope. That fact only increased your admiration for her.

She was also the one to introduce you to the BAU's infamous technical analyst. You had heard of Penelope Garcia prior to that, but she so rarely emerged from her office that you almost thought she was a myth. The real person was unlike an FBI agent at all, always donning some combination of bright colours, feathers, and/or sparkles. Most people who'd seen her labelled her as a weirdo, but there was something about her, a sense of positivity, that you loved.

Last but not least, the one that slipped under everyone's radar, Dr. Spencer Reid. People didn't talk much about Dr. Reid because, well, there was nothing really to talk about. He was the youngest person to ever join the FBI, had an IQ of 187, and you thought he was far too pretty to be doing a job this terrible, but that's where the conversations usually ended.

Everything that could be said, envied, or admired about the genius had simply been covered already, and he offered no new fodder for the gossip trolls to chew on; he rarely left the office, he didn't mingle with the other departments, and frankly, everyone thought he was socially awkward.

Yet, you found yourself continuously coming back to him in your thoughts. Maybe, subconsciously, you wanted to join the BAU so that you could figure him out.

The first time you met Dr. Reid, he was giving the profile of an unsub to the larger team. His words sped by so quickly, yet with so much insight and detail that you found yourself scrunching your face in concentration in order to get it all, and that impressed you.

You had always been a quick study but you instantly knew that Dr. Reid would be a challenge, both professionally and personally, and you hadn't even got to know him yet.

As you submitted the request to join the BAU, you admit that the excitement of that challenge was at the forefront of your mind. And when you were called into SSA Hotchner's office a few months later, the thought rang in your head even louder.

"Agent Hotchner, you called for me?" You asked at his door, suddenly feeling timid in the face of your potential boss.

"Sit down, agent," he said without looking up. As you took a seat, he opened a file that was undoubtedly yours and looked up. His eyebrows were furrowed, but if what you'd heard about him was true, this didn't necessarily mean anything bad. And you were right.

"I have your test results with me," he began. "Firstly, I'd like to congratulate you for scoring the highest in your class." You swore he almost cracked a smile.

"I've also heard a lot about you. Your boss had many good things to say about your work ethic, your field experience, and your commitment to justice," he continued.

Now it was your turn to smile.

"But I want to know the real reason why you want to join the BAU." Your smile faltered slightly, something that you're sure Hotchner would pick up on.

He leaned forward in his desk, purposefully applying pressure on the situation, and you let out a quiet breath in preparation.

"The reason I wanted to join the BAU may not be new to you, but I'm looking for a challenge. I want to make a change." You started. "I understand that those two may be contradictory principles, but I believe I can grow and do a lot of good with the BAU."

"And what if the job gets too much for you?" He asks, a flicker of emotion that I didn't recognise crossing his face.

"I'm prepared for that," you said determinedly. "I may not know what this job will take from me, but I'd like the opportunity to prove that I can grow from it, sir."

Agent Hotchner eyed you for a moment before standing up. "Very well, then." He reached out his hand. "Welcome to the BAU."

You looked at his hand for a second, the shock barely registering, before scrambling to your feet. "Thank you, sir! I won't disappoint you!" You shake his hand grinning.

"And next time, just call me Hotch." He said, this time smiling amusedly at your enthusiasm.

"Got it, and thank you again, sir." You said, excusing yourself from his room with a noticeable skip in your step.

You tried to cool yourself off walking back to your department to share the good news, but the excitement proved too much to hold in when a familiar voice calls out to you.

"Hey babygirl, considering you just came out of Hotch's office with a smile, I'm guessing you're going to be our newest teammate."

You turned around, trying to swallow your giddiness, when you realised that person was none other than SSA Morgan.

"Agent Morgan," you stuck out your hand in greeting. "Nice to meet you, and yes, I am."

"Derek." He corrected, grinning as he shook your hand. "Looking forward to working closely with you."

"Just call him Morgan. Don't need to get too close to this player." SSA Prentiss nudged Derek out of the way, raising her hand to meet yours. "I'm Emily Prentiss."

You giggled at their closeness.

The rest of the introductions quickly followed, including hugs from JJ and Penelope, and a starstruck moment when Rossi left his office to personally welcome you to the team. But there was one person whom you hadn't formally met yet.

Dr. Reid had finally separated his head from his work amidst the commotion (plus a very strong encouragement from one Mr. Derek Morgan to "go get her, pretty boy") and walked up to you, a nervous gait in his step.

He stuck his hand out to your surprise, having heard that the doctor was a tad germaphobic, and shook yours. "Dr. Spencer Reid," he said. "But you can call me Spencer, everyone else does."

"Nice to meet you, Spencer." You tried out the foreign name on your tongue. "Honestly, I'm quite a fan of your academic papers. I'm looking forward to working with you."

You knew the genius was a bit awkward, but he instantly turned beet red at your words and retracted his hand. The thought that this was the first time somebody had complimented him this way made you a little sad. But you thought his reaction was incredibly cute, and apparently so did the rest.

"Pretty boy, pret-ty boy, is that how you should react around a lady?" Derek sing-songed, putting his arm around the poor genius' shoulders, tugging him down.

JJ shot you an apologetic look for her childish teammates, while the rest joined in to poke fun at Spencer. Although he was frowning, his voice betrayed no hints of annoyance. Clearly they were all very close.

You laughed along, feeling a growing warmth in your chest, and wondered if you'd be a part of this family in the future.

But first, you’d have to get used to being the Eighth.

------------

(Part 2 here!)

#mads fics #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid #dr spencer reid #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fanfic #cm fic #cm fanfic #bau #aaron hotchner #hotch #derek morgan #emily prentiss #david rossi #jennifer jareau #penelope garcia

[just-my-thoughts-about-stuff]

Hera and Persephone

Episode 119 was very striking to me, in many different ways. Hera’s speech/internal monologue in the cold open is quite possibly one of my favorite lines in the series. It gives us so much information on her character we’ve never seen before, and it’s powerful and tragic. 

There’s a lot to unpack there that I can’t get to in this post, and it makes me even more curious about her past than I already was...But there’s one particular aspect of it I want to unpack, because that little speech made me realize something important about her character I never saw before. 

I was already very struck in ep78 by just how sweet and gentle Hera was in the past. (Actually I was struck by the contrast between then and now in ep20). She’s so badass today, and can even be rather cold at times, it’s strange to see her as this sweet and innocent, warm and down to earth girl scared of a little blood. It almost doesn’t seem like she’s the same person.

It’s especially strange when compared with how she interacts with Eros and Artemis later in ep119. Despite knowing how she acts in modern day, I was actually surprised at how she treated them. 

Despite being Queen, she treats Persephone with kindness, (a kindness that allows me to see that that sweet girl she once was is still there). Zeus is the main person we see her treating more coldly (with good reason), so I kinda thought she treated most people like Persephone and was surprised at her almost callousness towards Eros and Artemis. 

The one thing I was surprised (but not ungrateful) about in her treatment of Persephone is that she is almost obsessed with her vision of Apollo. It made me happy that she is so concerned for Persephone, but I also wondered why the Queen of the gods put so much of her time and energy into this minor goddess and a vision. 

But when I was saw these shots of 119...

And they finally made me connect something. 

Young Hera...

Reminds me of someone. 

And suddenly, when I connected that, a great many things about her made sense to me.

She treats Persephone the way she does, with such kindness, wanting to protect her, she is so reactive to her being hurt by Apollo...because she reminds her of herself. 

She sees this sweet, on innocent girl, who loves the Earth, and her mother, and (who would kill for) her friends, but who is lively and full of fire...and she sees herself. 

Why, in the end of ep119 she even becomes Persephone, further cementing to me that we are supposed to see the connections between them. I’m guessing she’s the only one with that power, and that’s why they asked her to do it, but I still think the implications are interesting. I wonder if it’s possible the reason she was able to pretend to be her is because they’re similar (or were once).

In the myths Zeus preys on Hera’s kindness...and ends up raping her, forcing her to marry him. I don’t know if that happened in LO, (I sincerely hope it went differently)...but if it did, it makes even more sense why she’d be so reactive to Apollo raping her. 

Let’s not forget (though I’d very much like to)....

I do actually like Zeus in LO, but he does do terrible things at times...and this ^^ is probably my least favorite line from him in the entire series right now. But if it’s true he raped Hera like in the myths...the connections are even stronger. Apollo even talks about making Persephone his Olympian...I really hope that’s not how things went down with Zeus and Hera back when...but it’s very possible.

Hera is as angry as she is at Apollo because...that’s what happened to her. except this time, she can do something about it. So she is going to (see end of ep120).

She reacts the way she does towards Hades way back in ep20

because she is so scared what happened to her is going to happen to Persephone.

At the time I thought she was just being nice to, and protective of, her, like any older woman should hearing that kind of talk. But it’s more than that. I think perhaps those lines could be applicable to her own past self too. Perhaps she was young and impressionable...and didn’t argue with Zeus. (I could see Zeus trying to impress Hera with little trinkets like he does Semele...and maybe if Zeus did make a speech similar to the one Apollo made Persephone...maybe Hera didn’t argue...)

Hera sees this sweet, down to earth girl, who loves the earth, and her mom, and is wild and free...and she doesn’t want her to be torn apart for Olympus. For a god. For a king. For a marriage...Like she was.

They call Persephone “something nice” in ep20, and she hates it...because that’s exactly how she was treated.

If Hades is going to be with Persephone, she wants to make sure he isnt going to treat Persephone like Zeus did her. (Notice that she only checks Hades as an acceptable suitor for Persephone until after it’s clear he’s moved on from her. ...I guess that was a test?? I’m not super familiar with the myths, just a few stories).

It goes without saying that I’m super excited to see what she does to Apollo in the next chapter. But I also am really hoping we get to hear more about their pasts at some point. Why is she his “golden traitor”? How did she get that scar? There were so many things that intrigued me. And how similar are Hera and Persephone, and Apollo and Zeus really? maybe the past will answer.

#hera lore olympus #lore olympus #lore olympus webtoon #hera lo #lore olympus hera #lo hera #lo persephone #persephone lo #lore olympus headcanon #lore olympus theory #zeus lore olympus #lore olympus zeus #lore olympus persephone #persephone lore olympus #rachel smythe #usedbandaid #hera #zeus #persephone #webtoon lore olympus #webtoon #lore olympus hera theory #hades lore olympus #lore olympus hades #hades #apollo #lore olympus apollo #apollo lore olympus #lo apollo #apollo lo

[obscureamor]

— angel baby

⋯ demon! tendou satori x fem! reader

⋯ t/w | nsfw, noncon, blood, choking, corruption, mentions of murder, tendou’s cum is black

» tendou satori was just a myth, but who knew you’d catch his eye.

✧ a/n  |  this was another... character... originally so if it doesn’t, i don’t know, fit the ‘criteria’ of the regular demons you read about that’s why, but i do hope you enjoy. ¡happy halloween everyone! stay safe and have fun! ♡

Halloween is the most awaited holiday of the year. It’s cherished in many hearts. It’s cherished in your heart. The night is filled with pumpkins, candy, and delight. The air cold, leaves falling, and costumes that cause fright.

Maybe you should’ve stayed in tonight.

You had it all planned out. Your friend said the party would be small, just a little get together. She’d go as the devil and you’d be the pure little angel... but you didn’t think it’d end up like this. You didn’t think your curiosity would result in you coming back out to see this. He had time. The house was large, easy to get lost in and so while you were looking around, everyone else was paying the price of being so close to you.

You didn’t scream when you saw the sight, hoping, just hoping it was some sort of prank, but the tall man standing in the middle of it all said otherwise. His clown costume reminded you of a B horror movie. You should’ve had better instincts, better intuition, the clown that’s been following you all night oblivious to your precious little mind. It’s easy to back you into a corner, easy to dart towards you, but you’re just so full of surprises.

The beer bottle that you hit him over the head with did nothing. It only succeeded in making you fall on your ass, the hope that it’d knock him out making your movements messy. It only succeeded in ruining his face paint, showing how he looks under the black and white makeup. The man is still standing, still staring at you with his knife in hand. Familiarity isn’t present in your panicked state. You don’t think you recognize him. His stature and build don’t ring any bells until you notice his red hair. The face paint that smeared off gives you a better look.

Nobody knew his actual name. The police didn’t. The news didn’t. Tendou Satori was a name born online through scary stories and people who had nothing better to do with their time.

Tendou Satori.

He doesn’t speak. Just jokes. Everything’s a joke.

“Please, please, I-I don’t...” you whimper out from your place on the floor.

Your white slip is stained with red, the feathers on your wings are dripping with blood. He doesn’t like the way it looks... you’re supposed to be clean. It’s ironic really and you can’t help but be confused when his shoulders start to shake up and down. There’s no sound coming out from him as he mimics the motions of laughter. He’s acting like he didn’t just slaughter all your friends, like he didn’t just seek out this party because you caught his eye.

‘An angel drenched in red,’ the thought is too funny.

You start to sit up because maybe while he’s distracted you can leave. You can run out of here, but placing your hand firmly on the ground— blindly on the ground isn’t a good idea. In your extreme focus on him, you don’t watch where you’re placing your hand. You don’t see the stray piece of glass closest to you. The pain doesn’t register until you stare down at your bloodied palm. The cut is large, blood dripping down, down your forearm and the gasp you let out has his head snapping towards you.

All movement and faux happiness ceased.

Your doe eyes are clouded with tears, lips wobbly as he stares at you and you stare back. ‘You’d be fun to break,’ he thinks. The smile on his face is big, too big to hold anything but malicious intent. Tendou’s hand clenches around the knife. It seems bigger as the orange and purple lights reflect off the metal. You scoot back, injured hand cradled to your chest. God, you don’t want to die... not by this sadistic clown and at the sight of him bringing the knife up, you stop all movements.

“Please...” It’s the only thing you can think of to say. ‘Please don’t kill me. Please don’t hurt me.’ But you don’t expect him to bring the knife to his own palm cutting a large slit across it. Your mouth is agape. The sight you’re seeing can’t be real— it’s not real. It’s black... his blood is black and it’s like you’re staring into the void as your wide eyes lock onto his hand. You don’t know why this makes the tears fall harder. Maybe it's the fear of the unknown. Maybe it’s the regret that you didn’t read all those articles your friends sent you on him. Maybe it's because this means he's not human.

Tendou Satori isn’t just a scary story.

You whimper, sniffling and attempting to scoot back more, but it’s thwarted when he lunges at you. The scream you let out could shatter windows as his body pins yours down.

Although he may look lanky, his strength is unmatched.

“Get off of me!” you scream, hands shoving blindly and feet kicking.

He doesn’t look as sporadic as he did before. He’s focused, movements precise as he tries to get you to stop struggling. You only come to a stop once the knife's tip comes to contact with your throat. Tendou could easily kill you— right here, right now —but instead, he uses it to cut down your dress, making you sob. The cool air of the house makes you shiver and goosebumps raise on your flesh.

He’s curious. He wants to cut them off. Why is your skin doing that?

And so in his curious state, his grimy hands come into contact with your tits, black blood staining the skin. You cry out as he pinches hard at your nipples.

“Please, stop!” you wail, “Ple—!”

He shoves his fingers into your mouth, drawing a horrific gag out of you. The taste makes you heave as he pushes in deeper, relishing in the way your little throat convulses around his digits. Your eyes are wide as your good hand wraps around his wrist. His bloodied hand makes its way down to your panties, ripping them off of your body.

‘Are you as pure as an angel? You’re really going to let some entity ruin you?’ He supposes you have no choice and the thought makes him mimic a snicker.

You watch as Tendou pulls down his bottoms, dick coming into full view. The feeling of passing out haunts you. You’re sputtering around his fingers, nails digging into his wrist in panic. It’s almost like he can sense it when his fingers leave your mouth and his hand wraps around your throat as he lines himself up with your entrance.

“I-I... please...” you gasp. “P-Please don’t do this to me!” You hope this will work. “Please, Tendou!”

He stares at you, unblinking and you think maybe... just maybe— a splitting grin breaks out onto his face. It’s quick as he shoves his fat cock into you, but the burning sensation lingers and it feels as if you’re being torn apart. Your back arches and your hands scramble to grab onto something, anything. They settle on the front of his costume, hands gripping tight at the satin material and blood staining the white. It’s a nice contrast to the monotone colors of his costume. It adds a pop of color almost like the red slowly seeping into your wings, white almost nowhere to be seen.

It’s still. Everything is still. The wind blows outside. The daunting laughter of those in ignorance of what’s happening to you rings in your ears. He’s letting you adjust and you can feel your body reacting.

His cut hand grabs at your injured one. You don’t know what he’s going to do as he’s still within you. This is something he’s never felt before. Your warm gummy walls flutter around his cock. The feeling of tight pussy wrapped around him. Tendou laces his fingers with yours as he leans over you, black blood mingling with the ruby red. It makes your nose scrunch up, lips trembling and another sob leaves you.

‘This is perfect. You’re perfect,’ he thinks as he studies your disgusted face... but your pure blood is mixing with his tainted black. ‘You’re already tainted.’ There’s a beat of silence as he comprehends the thought.... then he starts to ram into you.

‘You’re tainted.’

It’s the only thing that makes sense and since you’re so tainted that means it’s okay to ruin you. There are sobs mixed with moans coming out of your mouth as he thrusts into you with no clear rhythm. It’s sloppy and messy, pussy now slicked up just enough for him to move in and out of you smoothly. The squelching sounds that are now loud in your ears make you sob into your hand. You watch as he stares down at where you connect, watch as he pants out, and squeezes your hand as if you’ll disappear. He squeezes your throat as if he’s just itching to kill you, but in all honesty, he thinks you’ll be fun to keep around.

The tears that leave your eyes and trail down your face is such a sight when his eyes flit up to your features. They gleam under the LEDs and give him a full-body shiver. And when he leans forward, you turn your head to the side, eyes clenched shut and cheek now smooshed into the blood you didn’t know was trailing towards you. Your costume’s wings dig into your back and you can feel the blood that’s not yours seep into your skin. It’s warm and wet, warm and wet like the blood beneath you. His tongue laps at your cheek, lap, lapping at the tears that fall and— Why is this happening to you?

Tendou’s hand keeps giving yours small squeezes and you can feel his cock twitch within you. He’s cumming... oh god he’s going to cum inside you. It’s sporadic, thrusts now for his own pleasure and you hate your body for being so compliant. He takes note of how your wings are completely red now. They’re stained just like he’s staining you and Tendou can’t help but let his mind drift… thinking red looks good on you and now he wants to see you covered in it.

You don’t even know if he can understand you, but you still try. You bargain. You plead. But nothing will stop a Hallows Eve demon from getting what he wants. He cums inside of you with no warning. The sight of your wings and skin all bloodied enough to push him over the edge. You can feel his chest move as if he’s panting but still, no sounds come out from him. When Tendou pulls out of you, your eyes open. He watches intensely as your pussy just clenches, pushing out his viscous demon seed and you can’t help yourself from letting your eyes fall too.

His cum is black. It’s black and it oozes out of you so strangely.

Black as his blood. Black as the void you feel as if you’re falling into. Your head falls back onto the floor with a thud, staring straight at the ceiling as the orange and purple lights dance around. Tendou comes into your field of vision and smiles. It has a child-like innocence to it and yet you can’t feel anything. His lips move, words not quite comprehending yet... until they do.

“You’re mine.”

It’s raspy, paired with a smile. The only words he’s uttered all night. The only words he needs to say that make you pass out.

Maybe you should’ve stayed in tonight.

#yandere haikyuu #yandere tendou satori #yandere x reader #yandere tendou x reader #yandere haikyuu x reader #THIS WAS ART THE CLOWN THIS WAS ABOUT ART THE CLOWN BUT I KNOW NO BODY WANTS TO FUCK HIM LIKE I DO SO I CHOSE TENDOU #nads writes haikyuu

[antiloreolympus]

8 Anti LO Asks

1. as a mythology buff, i honestly think it was really weird of rachel smythe to take Hecate, a goddess who helped Demeter search for Persephone after she vanished and heard her screams and shared in Persephone and Demeter's joy after reuniting... and then just make her into Hades's like... total bro who plays aggressive matchmaker to h/p to the point of trying to break up Hades's current relationship. but honsestly i refuse to believe rachel smythe did literally any research before making this comic judging by how she depicts the mythology she's taking inspiration from so honestly im not suprised

2. I don’t know if anyone on here has discussed this, but LO very much plays into the idea of “good victim vs bad victim”.

A “good victim” has suffered many things, but despite it they still remain cheerful and happy and pleasant, they do not put others out or lash out at them even if they are triggered, they do not become petty or angry or hold onto negative emotions. They, in essence, “get over it”. Thus, the narrative rewards them: they get many friends, a love internet they’re happy with, and a happy ending. This is what Persephone is. She’s the “good victim”. Despite her many hardships, we know she will not suffer in the end. She will get everything she wants and more. 

Then there is Minthe, the “bad victim”. They too have gone through many hardships, but they’ve become cold, angry at the world, they lash out and have trouble opening up and connecting to others, they even hurt others, themselves victims to the toxic pain they can’t get rid it. They do not and have not “gotten over it”.  Thus, the narrative punishes them, even when they try to better themselves. It’s never good enough. These characters often are lonely, the cast are large do not like them if not outright hate them, and they more often than not end up dead. This is what Minthe is. She is not a pleasant person, she’s a victim of a manipulative older man and a cruel, unjust society and system, and we know how her story ends. It’s in pain, her maiming/possible death framed as a joke and not even a genuine hint of sympathy towards her fate. She was a “bad victim”, she “deserved” what she got.

Now, you only often see this in fandom, since the actual works that deal with victims of trauma and how they react will often try to give more nuance to every shade of victim they may have on cast, but it’s very disturbing to me that Rachel seems to eagerly play into this idea, like she gets joy out of punishing a victim she created and watching them suffer even more at her hands. It’d be one thing if she kept Minthe a shallow, one dimensional character who was just evil for the sake of it, fine, but her showing us her actual complex nature and the very real struggles, trauma, and manipulation she went through, especially at the hands of our supposed “heroes” of the story, just to have her demise framed as a win for Persephone and a joke for the audience to laugh at? That’s highly disturbing to me. It’s one thing for fans to act that way, but the writer themselves? It’s very dark, to say the least. 

3. "I'm invested in working with fairy tales and folklore for my next project" oh no no no oh god please no. Fairy tales have been through enough hot takes and modern "betterments", they really don't need Rachel "Apollo is bad, actually" Smythe to add to it

4. Quick question

Greek Mythology is mostly incest.

So what if someone who is actually good at writing and storytelling and consistent artwork

Kept it in

For example Zeus and  Hera arguing like the married couple they are

And Hera uses older sibling card

With Zeus dumbfounded face

I don't know why but I want it but would it be weird since it's incest

Most fanfics always keep it out. Just keep it in if you want it to be closer than the actual methods you know

Hera is youngest daughter of Cronus and Rhea and older than her brother Zeus, who was also her husband.

I want to do it but like I have no clue how to start a webtoon so you know💀

5. Oh god, Hades not needing therapy because Persephone's "love" is enough? To quote my lord and savior Kennie JD: "not the p*$$¥ being therapy!"

6. uuuuuh sexual trauma warning.?

So I was writing a comment on the "Re: bpd" ask and i had a realization about persephone

She reminds me of how I was about the idea of sex

I'm demisexual and have sexual trauma and the idea of sex excited me but I wasn't able to like, do it. Me and my partner would mess around but because Mctrauma i couldn't do it cuz I hadn't exactly worked through my trauma and i wanted to get through that because i was finally experiencing sexual attraction.

Kinda reminds me of Persephone. The problem is at that point it had been 6-7 years since my trauma occurred and persephone's happened like last month.

Considering how everyone talks about persephone being a self insert i think Rachel has some things to work through

Also made the realization literally as im typing that Rachel's attitude towards asexuality could be because she's demi and doesn't fully understand what that is or means

becuase if you're ignorant enough you can 100% end up describing demisexuality as "being asexual and then like, slowly turning gay."

this ask weirdly personal so fuck it this is gonna be anonymous feel free to delete if it makes u uncomfy 

7. That’s also a part about Hubris Rachel clearly doesn’t get: it was always committed by rich, often people in high authority, NEVER lowly farmers or the poorest of ancient society. They always knew better. Niobe was a queen! Minos was a king! Arachne was the rich, spoiled daughter of a really successful merchant. Sisyphus was a cunning king. The trojan war was kicked off by royal drama. The list goes on and on. You have to notice these things and genuinely study the myths or you become like Rachel, who seems convinced the poorest people would be stupid enough to not only defy their bosses, but the gods themselves? They would be the last people to do such a thing! They don’t have the ingrained sense of entitlement and arrogance like the rich and powerful to even dare act like that towards the gods, as is the case with hubris. Because of this, Rachel ends up creating a narrative that the rich and powerful (literal GODS) are the real victims to those cruel, uppity poor people, going as far as to say in comic they deserve to be slaves for hades’ benefit and they’re wrong for ever hating Persephone for, you know, murdering them because she had a bad day! They should know their place! It’s absolutely insane that she doesn’t actually seem to realize what she’s writing. Unless she does, which is an even bigger issue, and shows a really dark look into how she views the world and society and how it should be run. It’s all a bad look. 

8. Have you seen the "The demon, is here in the room right now?" meme

Welp, that's literally Persephone and her "feeling"

I legit saw that video about a dude faking a mental illnes (and seeing a demon that made him do bad things) after he commited a crime and that was so cringy and I can't stop thinking about Persephone confessing her AOW like that

#anti lo #anti lore olympus #lore olympus critical #lo critical #anti lo art

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About "Keeping Up A-Fear-Ances" from The Owl House

Salutations, random people on the internet who most likely won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons!

When Dana Terrace did her AMA on Reddit, a fan asked what we could expect for the new season. To which she replied by listing five things:

Parental conflict

A lot of emotions

Island exploration

New characters

...There's a fifth thing in there. You just got to look closely.

Now, when Dana mentioned parental conflict, dozens of fans assumed she was talking about Alador and Odalia, which, I mean...valid. They were the only two parental figures who presented any real conflict, and the idea of Camila being involved seemed implausible due to Luz being cut off from the human world. But no matter how you perceived that line, one thing’s for sure: No one expected Eda and Lilith's mother to be a source of conflict!

Yup. Today we met the woman who created two of the (former) greatest witches in all of the Isles. Was her introduction welcomed? Or did she give the Blights a run for their money for the "Worst Parent(s) of the Year" award? Only spoilers can answer those questions, so keep that in mind as we go in-depth with "Keeping Up A-Fear-Ances."

Let's review, shall we!

WHAT I LIKED

The Flashback: Already, this episode comes out swinging by giving us so much information! We get an explanation of what Eda goes through when cursed (which is horrifying), the reasoning behind her gem, the revelation that Eda ran away from home, and the reveal of how she got the portal door. The best part is, none of it feels rushed or forced. Eda's curse and the portal are integral threads to this story, both in this episode and in future ones. Tying them together sets up Gwendolyn's determination to cure her daughter while showing Eda's determination to escape her mother by skipping town into another dimension. There's also a sense of mystery in how and why the portal was in their backyard. And judging by how we got all of this incredible information in episode FOUR of the new season, something tells me we'll get answers to those questions sooner than we might think. This was such a strong opening to the episode. Despite giving so much information, it makes fans like me want even more. Which is an A+ in my book.

Gwendolyn: Yeah, might as well step out the gate in saying that I like Gwen...but I can already see how others won't. Immediately, she sets herself up as a mother who would do anything and everything to cure her daughter. That aspect of her character is perfect, and it quickly won points from me in terms of liking her. It's just that Gwendolyn's disregard of what Eda wants and the complete dismissal of Lilith are aspects of Gwen that are certainly going to rub some people the wrong way. Especially if those kids come from households where their parents are a lot like Gwendolyn. I was in the same boat of hating her too for a while, but thankfully, the last act saved her.

First, there's that scene where Gwendolyn threatened the lives of the demons for not only screwing her over but making things worse for Eda. It's one of those "Hell hath no fury like a mother scorned" moments that I always love to see.

Then there's the fact that Gwendolyn learns her lesson and, more importantly, apologizes. Not many actual abusive mothers would do that (Looking at you, Odalia), so it's nice to see that she makes an effort to make amends. Oh, and by the way, since I mentioned it, don't go around calling Gwendolyn abusive. She isn't. Or, at least, not to my eyes. If anything, she's a lot like Sara Fitzgerald from My Sister's Keeper (The book. Not the movie. The movie sucked).

In that story, Sara makes controversial choices that result in her youngest daughter Anna getting the short end of the stick due to putting all attention towards her eldest Kate. But here's the thing: KATE HAS CANCER! So while Sara's choices are beyond questionable, you can understand her point. And if you don't, well, I'd see how you would react when in her shoes. Trust me when I say that situations like this aren't always cut and dry. It's the same with Gwendolyn. She's far from "Mom of the year," but you understand where she's coming from. She wants to do what she can to help Eda, even if her methods could have been better. But that's just how I feel, and I can't speak for everyone who dealt with mothers far worse than her. If you refuse to forgive her, I'll understand. But to me, I consider Gwendolyn a worthy addition to the series.

(Plus, she just radiates Grandma energy when interacting with Luz. It's cute, and therefore I must love it!)

Luz: This season is on FIRE when presenting Luz!

I adore that the first thing we see her doing in this episode is sleeping after, most likely, another all-nighter to find a new portal. It proves that she has a determination made of iron and an intense dedication to getting back to Camila. In fact, it's that dedication that works as a perfect way to build a connection between Luz and Gwendolyn. They both want to reconnect with their families and are willing to do whatever it takes to do so.

Regardless, despite so desperately wanting to see Camila again, I'm glad that Luz still has common sense when it comes to helping Eda. She quickly sees that Gwen's cures are doing more harm than good, and it's great that Luz is the one to call malarky on the whole thing. No one had to spell things out for her because she's smart enough to notice that everything Professor Warlop is marketing feels a lot more like the fake medicine real people sell in the human world. It's a testament that despite having a big heart and the best intentions, Luz still has the intelligence to know when something is up and put a stop to it. And, again, let's hope that more people pick up on that.

Lilith: ...who would have expected Lilith of all characters to have most of the emotional moments in this episode?! I sure didn't!

But...Yeah. Lilith is the best thing in "Keeping Up A-Fear-Ances." On top of her seeking Gwendolyn's approval being relatable for some viewers, it's also really heartbreaking. I mean, listen to the shocked and hurt tone in her voice after finding out Gwen visited Eda regularly. That alone should give away how much Gwendolyn is important to Lilith and says so much about how strained their relationship became after the curse. Then there's that scene where she just breaks down, feeling both scared and torn apart by the fact that she experienced the curse in its full form and could do nothing to stop herself. It...stung. That's the best way to describe it. It stung seeing a character who is (mostly) cool and collective to become so vulnerable and broken. And, you know what? It's because of this that Lilith has won me over. I still don't think she should have been as forgiven as quickly as she was, but after learning what Lilith went through and what she's currently going through, I'm more than willing to be ok with her. And--I can't believe I'm saying this--I'm going to miss her being a part of the Owl House. She earned her place, in my opinion, creating entertaining dynamics with everyone. Sure, she'll make appearances every now and again, but I wouldn't mind a few more episodes with her being with the main group. But I'm positive the writers will have plans for her in the future and seeing how well she was written in this, I can't wait to see what they do next.

King Hoping to see his Dad Again: This was just a cute tidbit that ties nicely into last week's episode. Bonus points for that scene where King and Lilith get drunk off of Night Market ice cream. It got a good chuckle out of me, especially when Hooty was the one who ended up being the voice of reason.

Cursed Lilith: ...How does she look worse and more terrifying than Eda?

How Beast Keeping Magic Works: Not much I can say about this. It's neat to be given a visual explanation of how Beast Keeping magic works and how it's more than just controlling animals. Judging by the roof shingles, it can also be making objects more animal-like. It's pretty cool, and I hope to see more of how the rest of the magic from the prominent covens work.

Luz wasn’t the only human: To tell you the truth, this doesn't surprise me. Eda did say that every myth humans have is a bit of the Boiling Isles leaking into the human world, so why can't the opposite be true? However, the reveal of there being a famous human around many years ago presents many more questions, and possible theories, that deserve to be discussed in a future post. For now, I'll just say that it's awesome how this reveal perfectly transitions us to next week's episode, "Through the Looking Glass Ruins." We already know Luz is going to the library. But, seeing how Gus is going to be a prominent character in that episode as well, he probably wanted to tag along with Luz to study about the first human in the Boiling Isles. Only to then get sidetracked by some cool kids from Glandis. It's in the realm of possibility, thus proving how more serialized this season compared to Season One while still being somewhat episodic. Because even if "Keeping Up A-Fear-Ances" presents a lot for the overall story, it's still its own tale about family relationships and knowing how to truly be there for the people you love. Resulting in a necessary and cute episode that ends on a wholesome note without any major surprises like--

Creepy Clone Luz: ...

...Dana Terrace, you lying--YOU SAID CREEPY LUZ WAS A FARCE! IN THE SAME AMA, TOO! CURSE YOU! CURSE YOU AND YOUR SNAKE TONGUE, GOSH DANGIT!

...Alright, now that I got my overreaction out of the way, this was an amazingly well-written surprise!

Tricking fans into thinking that Camila is crying over the realization that Luz is gone, only to then reveal this...thing, is the best shock to the system that this series has done so far. Even better, it results in all the right questions:

Who is it?

What is it?

Where did it come from?

When did it get there?

How did it get there?

How does it know about Camila?

And why? Just, why?

To me, a series that presents all of these questions, and makes me excited for whatever answers are given, is a series that's doing something right. Because if I'm still reeling over something that lasts for a second, despite seeing the episode hours ago, that is a testament to how good a surprise really is.

WHAT I DISLIKED

Trust me, I want to give this episode the A+ just for that ending alone. But, there are some issues I have that are worth discussing.

Eda’s Outfit Change: I know. It's the nitpickiest of all nitpicks I could present. Particularly because Eda doesn't even look bad (although that's no surprise). The issue is that it feels weird that Eda's having this permanent outfit change in the fourth episode of Season Two. Or, to me it is, at least. Because I think that if you're going to give a small yet constant change to the look of a character, it should be done right away. Like, in the first episode of a new season. I highly doubt fans would question why Eda is wearing different clothes by then, so it wouldn't be too bad if the first time we see her, she’s sporting a new outfit. Again, this is just me, and I have no problems with the outfit itself. It just seems odd they would do this later rather than sooner.

Screwing with Eda: I...did not like this. At all. It was funny at first to see Luz and Gwendolyn lure Eda with Apple Blood like how Wile E. Coyote would bait the Road Runner with birdseed, but it quickly took a turn. Because I don't want to see Eda meet inconvenience after inconvenience from her mother and surrogate daughter. I like Eda, and seeing her happy makes me happy. If I wanted to laugh at a character's suffering, I would have picked Boscha, Mattholomule, Alador, and/or Odalia. This? This was just unnecessary cruelness to a character who doesn't deserve it. And it takes up a good chunk of this episode, making me question whether or not this would be the stinker I was fearing. Fortunately, the ending increased my enjoyment by several notches, but that doesn't change how this was the low point of "Keeping Up A-Fear-Ances."

IN CONCLUSION

Despite the road being rocky in the middle, I still consider "Keeping Up A-Fear-Ances" to be another solid A episode. The first and last few minutes have some quality writing that adds more to the characters, ongoing plot, and mystery that the series is building up. It's one of those important episodes you can't skip when watching a series, but given how it's keeping the new season's impeccable track record, I fail to see how that's a problem.

(Although, I am scared. We haven't gotten a stinker yet, and I really don't want it to be next week's episode. It's a Gus episode with sweet Lumity content on the side! That cannot fail!)

#the owl house #the owl house season 2 #the owl house spoilers #the owl house reviews #luz noceda #gwendolyn clawthorne #lilith clawthorne #eda clawthorne #what i thought about #creepy luz

[jeannereames]

Hi, Dr. Reames! I just read your take on Song of Achilles and it got me thinking. Do you think there might be a general issue with the way women are written in mlm stories in general? Because I don't think it's the first time I've seen something like this happen.

And my next question is, could you delve further into this thing you mention about modern female authors writing women? How could we, beginner female writers, avoid falling into this awful representations of women in our writing?

Thank you for your time!

[It took a while to finish this because I wrote, re-wrote, and re-wrote it. Still not sure I like it, but I need to let it go. It could be 3xs as long.]

I’ll begin with the second half of the question, because it’s simpler. How do we, as women authors, avoid writing women in misogynistic ways?

Let me reframe that as how can we, as female authors, write negative (even quite nasty) female characters without falling into misogynistic tropes? Also, how can we write unsympathetic, but not necessarily “bad” female characters, without it turning misogynistic?

Because people are people, not genders, not all women are good, nor all men bad. Most of us are a mix. If we should avoid assuming powerful women are all bitches, by the same token, some women are bitches (powerful or not).

ALL good characterization comes down to MOTIVE. And careful characterization of minority characters involves fair REPRESENTATION. (Yes, women are a minority even if we’re 51% of the population.)

The question ANY author must ask: why am I making this female character a bitch? How does this characterization serve the larger plot and/or characterization? WHY is she acting this way?

Keep characters complex, even the “bad guys.” Should we choose to make a minority character a “bad guy,” we need to have a counter example—a real counter, not just a token who pops in briefly, then disappears. Yeah, maybe in an ideal world we could just let our characters “be,” but this isn’t an ideal world. Authors do have an audience. I’m a lot less inclined to assume stereotyping when we have various minority characters with different characterizations.

By the same token, however, don’t throw a novel against the wall if the first minority character is negative. Read further to decide if it’s a pattern. I’ve encountered reviews that slammed an author for stereotyping without the reader having finished the book. I’m thinking, “Uh…if you’d read fifty more pages….” Novels have a developmental arc. And if you’ve got a series, that, too, has a developmental arc. One can’t reach a conclusion about an author’s ultimate presentation/themes until having finished the book, or series.*

Returning to the first question, the appearance of misogyny depends not only on the author, but also on when she wrote, even why she’s writing. Authors who are concerned with matters such as theme and message are far more likely to think about such things than those who write for their own entertainment and that of others, which is more typical of Romance.

On average, Romance writers are a professionalized bunch. They have national and regional chapters of the Romance Writers of America (RWA), newsletters and workshops that discuss such matters as building plot tension, character dilemmas, show don’t tell, research tactics, etc. Yet until somewhat recently (early/mid 2010s), and a series of crises across several genres (not just Romance), treatment of minority groups hadn’t been in their cross-hairs. Now it is, with Romance publishers (and publishing houses more generally) picking up “sensitivity readers” in addition to the other editors who look at a book before its publication.

Yet sensitivity readers are hired to be sure lines like “chocolate love monkey” do not show up in a published novel. Yes, that really was used as an endearment for a black man in an M/M Romance, which (deservedly) got not just the author but the publishing house in all sorts of hot water. Yet misogyny, especially more subtle misogyny in the way of tropes, is rarely on the radar.

I should add that I wouldn’t categorize The Song of Achilles as an M/M historical Romance. In fact, I’m not sure what to call novels about myths, as myths don’t exist in actual historical periods. When should we set a novel about the Iliad? The Bronze Age, when Homer said it happened, or the Greek Dark Age, which is the culture Homer actually described? They’re pretty damn different. I’d probably call The Song of Achilles an historical fantasy, especially as mythical creatures are presented as real, like centaurs and god/desses.

Back to M/M Romance: I don’t have specific publishing stats, but it should surprise no one that (like most of the Romance genre), the vast bulk of authors of M/M Romance are women, often straight and/or bi- women. The running joke seems to be, If one hot man is good, two hot men together are better. 😉 Yes, there are also trans, non-binary and lesbian authors of M/M Romance, and of course, bi- and gay men who may write under their own name or a female pseudonym, but my understanding is that straight and bi- cis-women authors outnumber all of them.

Just being a woman, or even a person in a female body, does not protect that author from misogyny. And if she’s writing for fun, she may not be thinking a lot about what her story has to “say” in its subtext and motifs, even if she may be thinking quite hard about other aspects of story construction. This can be true of other genres as well (like historical fantasy).

What I have observed for at least some women authors is the unconscious adoption of popular tropes about women. Just as racism is systemic, so is sexism. We swim in it daily, and if one isn’t consciously considering how it affects us, we can buy into it by repeating negative ideas and acting in prescribed ways because that’s what we learned growing up. If writing in a symbol-heavy genre such as mythic-driven fantasy, it can be easy to let things slip by—even if they didn’t appear in the original myth, such as making Thetis hostile to Patroklos, the classic Bitchy Mother-in-Law archetype.

I see this sort of thing as “accidental” misogyny. Women authors repeat unkind tropes without really thinking them through because it fits their romantic vision. They may resent it and get defensive if the trope is pointed out. “Don’t harsh my squee!” We can dissect why these tropes persist, and to what degree they change across generations—but that would end up as a (probably controversial) book, not a blog entry. 😊

Yet there’s also subconscious defensive misogyny, and even conscious/semi-conscious misogyny.

Much debate/discussion has ensued regarding “Queen Bee Syndrome” in the workplace and whether it’s even a thing. I think it is, but not just for bosses. I also would argue that it’s more prevalent among certain age-groups, social demographics, and professions, which complicates recognizing it.

What is Queen Bee Syndrome? Broadly, when women get ahead at the expense of their female colleagues who they perceive as rivals, particularly in male-dominated fields, hinging on the notion that There Can Be Only One (woman). It arises from systemic sexism.

Yes, someone can be a Queen Bee even with one (or two) women buddies, or while claiming to be a feminist, supporting feminist causes, or writing feminist literature. I’ve met a few. What comes out of our mouths doesn’t necessarily jive with how we behave. And ticking all the boxes isn’t necessary if you’re ticking most of them. That said, being ambitious, or just an unpleasant boss/colleague—if its equal opportunity—does not a Queen Bee make. There must be gender unequal behavior involved.

What does any of that have to do with M/M fiction?

The author sees the women characters in her novel as rivals for the male protagonists. It gets worse if the women characters have some “ownership” of the men: mothers, sisters, former girlfriends/wives/lovers. I know that may sound a bit batty. You’re thinking, Um, aren’t these characters gay or at least bi- and involved with another man, plus—they’re fictional? Doesn’t matter. Call it fantasizing, authorial displacement, or gender-flipped authorial insert. We authors (and I include myself in this) can get rather territorial about our characters. We live in their heads and they live in ours for months on end, or in many cases, years. They’re real to us. Those who aren't authors often don’t quite get that aspect of being an author. So yes, sometimes a woman author acts like a Queen Bee to her women characters. This is hardly all, or even most, but it is one cause of creeping misogyny in M/M Romance.

Let’s turn to a related problem: women who want to be honorary men. While I view this as much more pronounced in prior generations, it’s by no means disappeared. Again, it’s a function of systemic sexism, but further along the misogyny line than Queen Bees. Most Queen Bees I’ve known act/react defensively, and many are (imo) emotionally insecure. It’s largely subconscious. More, they want to be THE woman, not an honorary man.

By contrast, women who want to be honorary men seem to be at least semi-conscious of their misogyny, even if they resist calling it that. These are women who, for the most part, dislike other women, regard most of “womankind” as either a problem or worthless, and think of themselves as having risen above their gender.

And NO, this is not necessarily religious—sometimes its specifically a-religious.

“I want to be an honorary man” women absolutely should NOT be conflated with butch lesbians, gender non-conformists, or frustrated FTMs. That plays right into myths the queer community has combated for decades. There’s a big difference between expressing one’s yang or being a trans man, and a desire to escape one’s womanhood or the company of other women. “Honorary men” women aren’t necessarily queer. I want to underscore that because the concrete example I’m about to give does happen to be queer.

I’ve talked before about Mary Renault’s problematic portrayal of women in her Greek novels (albeit her earlier hospital romances don’t show it as much). Her own recorded comments make it clear that she and her partner Julie Mullard didn’t want to be associated with other lesbians, or with women much at all. She was also born in 1905, living at a time when non-conforming women struggled. If extremely active in anti-apartheid movements in South Africa, Renault and Mullard were far less enthused by the Gay Rights Movement. Renault even criticized it, although she wrote back kindly to her gay fans.

The women in Renault’s Greek novels tend to be either bitches or helpless, reflecting popular male perceptions of women: both in ancient Greece and Renault’s own day. If we might argue she’s just being realistic, that ignores the fact one can write powerful women in historical novels and still keep it attitudinally accurate. June Rachuy Brindel, born in 1919, author of Ariadne and Phaedra, didn’t have the same problem, nor did Martha Rofheart, born in 1917, with My Name is Sappho. Brindel’s Ariadne is much more sympathetic than Renault’s (in The King Must Die).

Renault typically elevates (and identifies with) the “rational” male versus the “irrational” female. This isn’t just presenting how the Greeks viewed women; it reflects who she makes the heroes and villains in her books. Overall, “good” women are the compliant ones, and the compliant women are tertiary characters.

Women in earlier eras who were exceptional had to fight multiple layers of systemic misogyny. Some did feel they had to become honorary men in order to be taken seriously. I’d submit Renault bought into that, and it (unfortunately) shows in her fiction, as much as I admire other aspects of her novels.

So I think those are the three chief reasons we see women negatively portrayed in M/M Romance (or fiction more generally), despite being written by women authors.

------------------------------------

*Yeah, yeah, sometimes it’s such 2D, shallow, stereotypical presentation that I, as a reader, can conclude this author isn’t going to get any better. Also, the publication date might give me a clue. If I’m reading something published 50 years ago, casual misogyny or racism is probably not a surprise. If I don’t feel like dealing with that, I close the book and put it away.

But I do try to give the author a chance. I may skim ahead to see if things change, or at least suggest some sort of character development. This is even more the case with a series. Some series take a loooong view, and characters alter across several novels. Our instant-gratification world has made us impatient. Although by the same token, if one has to deal with racism or sexism constantly in the real world, one may not want to have to watch it unfold in a novel—even if it’s “fixed” later. If that’s you, put the book down and walk away. But I’d just suggest not writing a scathing review of a novel (or series) you haven’t finished. 😉

#misogyny in m/m romance #how to avoid misogyny writing women characters #writing complicated women characters #asks #writing life #writing advice

[throwaninkpot]

Notes from the Return of the Thief launch party Q&A with MWT!

• (I meant to keep a Not Telling tally but I got distracted by all the good words Megan put together.)

EDIT: A VOD of the stream has been posted here!

• It took 20 minutes into the event to get the first Not Telling, and everyone was astonished it wasn't sooner.

• She referenced the Not Telling shirt made for her by @queensandkingsofattolia ! She wasn't wearing it, but she did have her Not Telling socks, which she would put on her hands and hold up to the camera.

• She talked about how she doesn't like suspense as a reader. She always wants the stories to get to the point instead of dragging on, so in writing, she puts light scenes in to break up the suspense. She doesn't always know what those scenes will be, she just has a feel for what's needed there. One example is when Sophos and the magus are traveling to Attolia in aCoK, when they eat the chicken. "We eat the chicken now!" was a scene that made her happy while she wrote it.

• She was asked to explain the gods and how the different pantheons work with each other, and said she never wants to explain the gods. She doesn't want them to be cut-and-dry or understandable.

• Asked about writing such complex, ruthless characters and making them likeable.

Alex (mod): Do you think [the POV characters] good? Megan: *silently presents Not Telling socks*

• Said that if you're going to spend so much time in a characters head, there has to be some part of them that you and the readers will like. And there are some people whose heads she didn't want to be in. Even the ruthless ones making terrible decisions, she does like. "Nahuseresh? Not so much."

Alex: *says something about how they've never encountered books with more poker face than QT* Megan: *big ol' grin*

• Talking about how these books have so many layers and so much suspense, Megan said a lot of that is owing to the fact it's a series and she needed to be consistent, she couldn't switch the style of it or tone halfway through. When she writes the next thing, it might be a whole different kind of book. She'll have to see whether that was just sonething distinctive to QT, or that's what she naturally gravitates towards writing.

• She mentioned that she isn't fond of 1st person narrative, and the chat collective raised a single eyebrows at the irony.

• In fact, TaT was written in 3rd person at first. But she realized that wasn't working so she scrapped that and rewrote the whole thing, bc it needed to be Kamet who was telling us the story.

• She pronounced Kamet as "Kam-et".

• When talking about the details in her books and how they go into logistics, she brought a book onto camera called Alexander the Great and the Logistics of the Macedonian Army by Donald W. Engles. It heavily influenced the way she wrote about war and the politics thereof in QT.

• The Thief was partly inspire by a conversation she had with a young relative back during the Bush administration when Kuwait was invaded. The young relative didn't understand what the U.S. was doing in the middle east when we had so many problems to focus in our own country, and Megan explained that we weren't involved in that conflict out of the goodness of our hearts, but bc they had resources we wanted. (The way she phrased it, you could hear the magus talking to the boys in The Thief, and it gave me shivers.) And she realized, kids don't see that side of war in stories. Armies are always fighting Sauron and the forces of evil, and acting out if their own self-interests against people who might not be all bad.

• And thus, The Queen's Thief spiraled jnto existence.

• Why does she choose to write about disability and illness the way she does? Rosemary Sutcliff. Sutcliff was disabled for most of her life, and this reflected in the stories she told. Megan recalls Warrior Scarlet as the first book that challenged her as a kid to think about disability and illness as a natural part of life, and to question who gets to be at the center of the story. Who gets to be the hero? Who gets to be the hero of an adventure story? Why shouldn't characters dealing with illness or disability be those heros?

• TaT was a direct response to Sutcliff's novel Eagle of the Ninth, where an earnest young Roman soldier has these great plans for his life that get toppled when he is injured in his first battle and can no longer serve.

Megan: Costis checks every box for earnest young guy!

• In Eagle, there is a slave who travels with the protagonist and is freed by him at the end as part of the protagonist's journey. It was important to tell TaT from Kamet's point of view so that it was about him. "He is never an object of a quest, always a person."

• Megan has never read The Aeneid.

• She recommends Lavinia by Ursula K. Le Guin, which tells The Aeneid from a different POV.

• On writing process: She doesn't outline. When she has a book idea, she first tells it as a story by cornering her husband and telling him the whole thing with plenty of hand gestures. After that, she does a "sketch". She writes down the shape of the story, plotlines and characters, which is usually half the length of the finished book. Then she fleshes it out, and cuts and adds and cuts snd adds until she has pretty much a whole book, and then she edits again to cut everything that doesn't absolutely need to be there.

• She says it's important to remember you can't fix everything in one draft. You just need to focus on 20 or so things at a time, and then on the next pass you can focus on 20 other things.

• On keeping characters straight: "It's very crowded in my head." She doesn't focus so much on remembering exactly what she has written about a character before, but knowing who the character is so that she knows how they would react in whatever new situation she is writing them in.

Megan: Okay, Costis. I know this guy, I know what he's going to do. He's going to punch that guy in the face and it will be very embarrassing.

• A lot of people asked about the vampires referenced in The Thief and if they were real. She's not telling.

• Someone *cough*me*cough* Asked if she was planning a spin-off series about Eddisian vampires falling in love. "Never say never, but it's probably unlikely."

Alex: What happened to Ornon's sheep? Megan: Guys....guys......I have to put on another sock, come on, guys! *digs for her Not Telling socks and holds them up*

• On worldbuilding: You have to break with reality. It's great to research the process of how to retin pans! Adding details like that can enrich your story, but you can also add things that wouldn't have been possible in the real world. Like, pocket watches and window glass and printing presses all at the same time. The made up details also make your story richer.

Megan: Cut the research and tell a good story!

• On myths: She never writes the myths first. When she was writing The Thief, she would make a new line and type "[Myth Here]" and then go on with the rest of the story and cone back to that later.

• She recommends Ancient Near East Texts by James B. Pritchard for some good myths!

• What she likes best about DWJ: The Audacity(tm). DWJ would write about the most bizarre things very casually.

Megan: Her stories had a "hold my beer" quality.

• She told the story about hiw DWJ got her published (Alex: "She had good taste") and trying to send DWJ the advanced copy of aCoK before she died, but those stories have been retold elsewhere before so I won't bother with them now.

• Megan wore lovely, lovely earrings! And at the beseechment of the chat, she showed them to the camera and told us they were made by @freenarnian

• Finally, the winner of the trivia party was granted the honor of asking a question on camera, and Megan benevolently said she would not cry Not Telling on whatever was asked.

• Margaux, the winner, asked what the age difference was between Dite and Irene, and if they had grown up together.

• After a REAL long pause, Megan said that she didn't think they had grown up together. Irene is younger than Dite, and she was too busy, and I quote, "killing people." Her childhood ended early and she didn't have time to be a kid. Besides that, they wouldn't have been allowed to hang out in Attolian society, bc she was a girl and he was a boy. They were probably introduced to each other atvevents, but that was it.

• Also: Dite is pronounced "Die-tee".

• She has more events like this planned in the future!!!!! Keep an eye on her tumblr!!!!!

• EDIT: @whataliethatwas made a transcript of the event!

#megan whalen turner #queens thief #the queen's thief #queen's thief #mwt #rott #return of the thief #this has been a post

[tuesdayisfordancing]

I am at long last reading the book that every good helpful sex blogger has been recommending for 5 years, Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski. I’m only in chapter 3 but it is... well look. People keep recommending it because it has useful stuff. It definitely has at least a few pages worth of useful stuff for me so far, and I say this as someone who’s been reading “how to accept and understand and fulfill your sexual wants needs and preferences (and lack thereof)” stuff - reading a lot of that stuff - for maybe 14 years? Whenever I first started reading Pervocracy. So I’m not gonna say it shouldn’t be recommended so much, but dang I wish it were recommended with more caveats. Here are my personal caveats to date:

the tone is excessive. yes, probably most people picking up a book like this need some amount of gentle reassurance, but it reaches a level of that feels condescending and annoying. probably it’s the perfect tone for many people, but for others it’s not.

unnecessary gendering of concepts (and of the whole book, quite frankly). this varies from part to part, and there are some parts where there actually is some reason to discuss gender variance, but it’s there unnecessarily enough to be extremely offputting. as usual I find myself wondering if the people who write this type of guide don’t know that guys are capable of feeling insecurity too.

for a book that keeps emphasizing how everyone is different and the full range of experience is all normal and beautiful, it keeps leaving people out. usually later it mentions them as an afterthought but... i get annoyed when she leaves me out, but i also cannot help but imagine the people who came to this book because they really needed to be reassured that they are normal and beautiful, maybe hadn’t heard that message anywhere else, coming to a part that accidentally dismisses them from the range of experiences that exist and. i’m not happy imagining how that feels.

when it talks about cultural messages and myths it keeps kind of sliding into the assumption that we’ve all absorbed the same cultural messages and myths.

keeps sliding into the assumption that of course your happy healthy self-actualized end state involves more, not less, sex. annoying for me, who is still working on accepting the possibility that my happy healthy self-actualized end state just plain doesn’t involve partnered sex more than once in a blue moon. i mean, i’m hoping it does, but i’m also aware that i can’t get where i need to be unless i accept that it might not. that my healthy endstate might be the one where i say “sorry, i just don’t have that feature”.

ohh, i almost forgot. the book does that Psych Talk thing where it presents a useful model for describing people’s reactions and acts like it’s an Underlying Truth about why people react that way. a model is not the same thing as an Underlying Truth and a description is not the same thing as a cause.

[artificialqueens]

Me and You Together, 5/10 (Taywhora) - Ortega

fic summary: The cardinal rule of having flatmates is that you Do Not Catch Feelings For Your Flatmates, because everything inevitably goes to shit and gets made horrifically awkward. A’whora and Tayce both know this, but being in first year of uni and making good decisions have never really gone hand in hand.

a/n: I’M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! i won’t bore u with a big long a/n but i will say thank u so so much for everyone that’s shown this fic love and been supportive to me over the writing process of this chapter, it means the world. this one has a content warning for…drumroll please…smut! enjoy u slaaaags xo

last chapter: October- The gang made plans for their first year together, Tia gave everyone plans for the evening, and A'whora had a realisation that would change the dynamic of her friendship with Tayce forever.

this chapter: February- Tayce has always hated Valentine’s day. But will hatching a plan with Lawrence and spending the day with A’whora change her opinion on it this year?

***

Tayce thinks it’s nothing short of a miracle that they’ve not been caught yet.

Honestly, she should’ve known how her and A’whora attempting to sneak around would go from the start; it’s not as if either of them are subtle people. Between A’whora always needing people’s eyes and attention to be on her and Tayce simply being unable not to attract attention, it’s hard for either of them to be covert in any way, shape or form.

The first time (or first three times in quick succession) back last month had been easy enough; by the time Bimini, Lawrence and Ellie had returned back to the flat from their day drinking expedition with Ellie’s friend they’d all been too drunk to see their hands in front of their faces, never mind notice that Tayce’s room smelt of sex and that A’whora’s top was on back to front. But living with four other people and trying to find a time where they’re all out of the flat at the same time is like gold dust, so a lot of the time Tayce and A’whora will disappear to one of their rooms (ten minutes apart, so as not to attract suspicion) and then have to spend the entire rendezvous talking in hushed whispers or biting down hard on their lips or whining into their pillows to make sure nobody boots down the door and demands to know what’s going on.

Still, even if it’s quiet and covert, Tayce is nothing short of addicted to this new layer of the relationship she has with A’whora. There’s something intoxicating about giving A’whora what she wants: it’s in the way her big, pleading doe-eyes flutter shut in ecstasy, the way her lips drop open from a bratty pout into a blissful gasp or a too-loud moan that makes Tayce feel like clamping a hand over her mouth. It’s surely only a matter of time before the others find out and ruin this whole thing for them so Tayce wants to make sure A’whora doesn’t blow their cover, because there’s part of her that loves keeping it all under wraps like it’s their own little secret they share.

Besides, the sight of A’whora biting down hard on her knuckles when she’s trying desperately not to make a sound is never one that Tayce is going to pass up on.

It’s the way she goes quiet when things get intense and Tayce has to draw her words out of her like she does her orgasm, because aside from the fact that she needs to know if A’whora’s enjoying everything Tayce is doing, the way she starts blushing whenever she tells her what she wants or how good something feels is sinful enough to make Tayce believe that maybe hell wouldn’t be so bad.

The juxtaposition of the devilishness A’whora manages to radiate whilst looking like and talking with the voice of an angel isn’t lost on Tayce. The way she’s so eager to please, the way she always asks if everything’s okay, the way she’ll look up from between Tayce’s legs with that ever-so-slightly deer in the headlights look with her juice smeared across her lips like gloss and wait for Tayce to tell her everything feels amazing before she’ll relax, and a mischievous grin will take hold on her face before she’ll continue pushing her increasingly closer to the edge. Tayce had always thought praise kinks were a myth but A’whora is the living Kelpie that disproves her theory. She only ever needs to tell her that she’s a good girl, or that she’s pretty, or that she’s perfect (usually with a princess tacked onto it for good measure) for A’whora to whimper and beg, greedy and impatient. The way she reacts to the praise is enough to make Tayce want to keep giving it, so she supposes the relationship is a symbiotic one.

It’s funny the way they seem to swap personalities in bed. Tayce- who usually can’t shut up or slow down if her life depended on it- likes hushed giggles, breathy gasps, biting hard on her lip to make sure she’s not too loud. She likes to draw out the foreplay and teasing until they’re both burning up and so wet they drip down their thighs and onto the sheets, and when she fucks A’whora she’s always painstaking and precise, slow and languid. A’whora, for her part, is the opposite. She moans and whines and bucks her hips in the air, always desperate for satisfaction and to satisfy Tayce in return. She knows exactly how to push Tayce to the edge and then over it and she never wastes a minute getting there, sometimes ripping two or three orgasms from her in quick succession with nothing short of relentless, smug determination. They shouldn’t work together but Jesus Christ, they do.

It’s because of all this that the way they sneak around has become a kind of foreplay for them. The trips to the smoking area on nights out just so Tayce can back A’whora against the wall and crash her lips against hers needily. The squeeze they’ll give each others’ thighs under the table if they’ve all gone somewhere for dinner together, and the twinkle in both of their eyes acting as a promise of things to come later. The text A’whora gives Tayce from the sofa opposite as they’re all sitting around watching whatever shite Tia has stuck on that simply says “i want to 👅 your 🐈 until you 💦” which makes Tayce almost choke on whatever she happens to be eating or drinking.

But she supposes the rest of her flatmates have been too wrapped up in their own feelings to even notice her and A’whora’s lack of subtlety. The end of January saw Tia finally make things official with Veronica who she’d been seeing for a few months already, so she’s been bouncing around the flat with a spring in her step and a permanent smile on her face and always humming or singing a cheerful tune under her breath. Tayce is happy for the girl, she really is, but even she has to admit the pair of them acting like little loved-up Sylvanian Family squirrels is vaguely nauseating; the way they’ll nuzzle each others’ noses while curled up together on the sofa and the way they happily belt along to Heathers while they make pancakes together at eight in the morning on a Sunday, which is never the hangover cure they seem to think it is.

In stark contrast, Ellie has been stomping through the flat for the past few weeks or so as if she’s an assassin with a bounty on Cupid. At literally any mention of love or romance she’s there with a fake retch or a huge roll of her blue eyes, talking about how she wishes every couple on earth would drop off the face of it. She has stark disregard for Tia’s happiness, preferring instead to wallow in her own misery. It’s immature and it’s petty and it’s completely ridiculous but Tayce supposes Ellie is hurt and heartbroken, and Tia and Veronica are getting the brunt of it because they’re the root cause.

If Ellie is bad then Lawrence is worse. If Ellie is pissed off then Lawrence is woeful, and she’s not much better whenever she’s forced to be around the flat’s new couple. Her usually cheerful jokes poking fun at her various flatmates are now entirely based around how single she is, all delivered as if Eeyore had a stand-up set. There’s only so many times Tayce can fake-laugh at each variation, only so much enthusiasm she can inject into the laugh she gives in response to “I’m so single I canny even get a bus to hit on me”. Combined with the constant way Crazy for You is getting blasted from behind her closed bedroom door on a loop, Lawrence has been acting like the lesbian reincarnation of Bridget Jones for entirely too long to be considered acceptable.

“Why don’t we just tell Els that Lawrence likes her?” A’whora had suggested, as they’d lain in Tayce’s bed naked apart from her duvet that was wrapped around them both and the opening drum beat to Crazy for You had cut through the wall for the third time in the past ten minutes.

(Tayce knows Lawrence had asked her not to tell A’whora about her crush on Ellie. She does feel bad for telling A’whora about her crush on Ellie. But when A’whora had asked her why she thought Lawrence had been behaving like a war-era mourning widow for the past few weeks it had just slipped out. Besides, the threat of a month without sex that Tayce had used as leverage so A’whora wouldn’t blab to Ellie about it has so far seemed to be good enough motivation. As it stands neither of them seem to be able to go three days without a shag, so she’s really hoping A’whora doesn’t open her big mouth for both their sakes.)

“It’s not that simple,” Tayce had muttered, threading some of A’whora’s long, straight hair through her fingers absent-mindedly as she spoke. “There’s feelings there, they wouldn’t be able to just fall together like we did. It’s messier when there’s crushes involved. With us it’s just good sex with a good friend, you know?”

A’whora had gone quiet as she nodded, a minute frown appearing on her face. Tayce supposes it had been as a result of the prospect of more Madonna ballads from Lawrence’s room for the foreseeable future.

Bimini, who Tayce has been the most concerned about picking up on something being different between her and A’whora, has been surprisingly and uncharacteristically imperceptive. Bimini being Bimini hasn’t let on that there’s anything different going on with them, but Tayce is sure it’s got something to do with the bashful smile they give their phone screen sometimes, or the way they seem to be at the flat with them all less and less of late, or the uni project they’re completing with their friend Asttina which seems to have been going on for about a fortnight. Whatever it is, they seem happier than usual; a little cheerful glow lighting them up from the inside out that Tayce just knows there’s a reason behind. She’ll let them tell her in their own time.

If the atmosphere in the flat had been full of mixed-up, chaotic sets of feelings before, then when it reaches Valentine’s Day it’s on another level entirely.

Tayce begins her day waking up, rubbing her eyes, and stretching as far as her bones and muscles will allow. She’s alone in bed- she and A’whora never sleep over in each others’ rooms, the overwhelming amount of suspicion it would draw the next day would be staggering- but Tayce sometimes wonders what it would be like to wake up with A’whora. Maybe she’d be curled around her, having sought her out in the night to cuddle. Maybe she talks in her sleep. Maybe she snores. Tayce doesn’t know why she’s thinking about this, or indeed why she wants to know what it would be like.

They’re just friends, after all.

She sleepily snatches up her phone from her bedside table, checks the time (10am, a decent enough lie in) and then checks her notifications. She’s got a Whatsapp message from A’whora and she ends up spluttering a laugh as she opens it. It’s a photo of her having clearly just woken up, hair all messy in its bun and bags under her brown eyes. She’s sinking into the pillow and pulling a face that gives her a double chin. She looks a state, but something about the photo makes Tayce’s heart happy. It’s the fact that A’whora- the same A’whora who took a month before she let her flatmates see her without makeup, does a full face before even going to Tesco, and fake tans twice a week- has sent her a selfie with a sleepy, bare, ridiculous face. Tayce has always felt a little like their friendship has been a series of breaking down A’whora’s walls and with this, another one has crumbled. It’s nice that she trusts Tayce enough with every little part of her, and it’s a responsibility that Tayce doesn’t take lightly.

The message that accompanies the photo says “Happy valentine’s day bestie xxx” and Tayce feels her heart flutter a bit. It should feel weird that A’whora’s acknowledging the significance of the day. It’s kind of overstepping the line they’ve drawn together, it’s sort of breaking an unspoken promise.

But regardless, Tayce doesn’t mind. She actually likes it, more than she probably should. So she taps her nails against the screen, smiling in spite of herself as her message starts to appear.

T: that selfie’s really doing it for me uno

T: got me all excited for the romantic valentine’s day sex we’re gonna be having xo

The screen tells her that A’whora’s typing, and she can feel the heat begin to pool in her stomach already at the prospect of some flirty texts to start the day off. That is until there’s a muffled drum beat and an oboe that drifts into Tayce’s consciousness through the wall, and she realises with visceral frustration that Lawrence is playing that god damn bloody fucking song again.

Tayce lifts her leg and kicks the wall that separates her room and Lawrence’s with a thud thud thud, hoping it’ll make it all stop- the soundtrack to her friend’s emotional pining doesn’t double up as a good soundtrack to dirty texting. To Tayce’s exasperation, however, her door flies open a few moments later, and she cranes her neck and buries her phone under her pillow to find that Lawrence has invited herself in.

“Did you knock?” she asks inquisitively. Tayce narrows her eyes.

“If ‘knocked’ means ‘banged on the wall to shut you up’, then yeah, I did,” Tayce deadpans. Lawrence doesn’t seem to take the hint and instead lets out a dramatic sign, flops down beside Tayce on her bed as if to fully illustrate the fact she isn’t leaving anytime soon.

“Tayyyce,” she begins, whining pitifully. Lawrence is never one to conceal how she’s feeling and always wears her heart on her sleeve, which Tayce can appreciate in a friend. If Lawrence is annoyed, she’ll tell you. If Lawrence is happy, she’ll show it. If Lawrence is pining after her best friend she’s been in love with for years, she’ll let everyone know…apart from the only girl it affects directly.

“What is it, babe?” Tayce asks sympathetically, rolling onto her side to give her friend a cuddle. She knows what the matter is, but she also knows Lawrence clearly wants to vent, so she’ll be a good friend and let her.

Lawrence huffs a sigh. “Tia’s all loved up with Veronica in the kitchen and Bimini’s probably off shagging their pal right now and Ellie’s never going to know I exist as anything other than a friend. I fuckin’ hate Valentine’s Day.”

Tayce would normally agree. Tayce usually hates it too. It’s corporate and cheap and tokenistic, as if the only ways people can show love are through red roses, chocolate or teddies. Pick one or all three, give them to the person you love the most otherwise did you ever really love them at all? Maybe she’d like it better if she had someone to spend it with, but she’s not. She’s never.

Apart from today, that is. Apart from A’whora.

“It’s bullshit,” Tayce nods, squeezing Lawrence’s side. “But hey, you’re not on your own, girl. I’ve not got anyone to spend it with either, and neither’s A’whora.”

Lawrence sticks her bottom lip out. “Yeah, but you two aren’t all sad with feelings and crushes. I mean, we all know A’whora’s not got a heart so she’s off to a flyer already.”

Tayce laughs at Lawrence’s joke even though they both know it couldn’t be less true if she tried. She pokes Lawrence’s arm, frowning and unable to stand her moping much longer. “Well, why don’t you try and make a move today? Y’know, show Ellie why you’re a good option as well.”

“A good option? Sorry, I didn’t realise I’m sat in a fridge next to a sandwich as part of a Tesco meal deal,” Lawrence rolls her eyes. Tayce nudges her with her foot to make a point.

“Fuck off. You know what I mean! Hang out with her, do something fun. Maybe dial up the flirting a bit.”

Lawrence rolls over onto her side to face her, as if to drive home the pointed stare she’s fixing her with. “Have you ever seen me trying to flirt? There’s a reason I’ve never brought a girl back here. I mean my vagina’s so out of use I think it’s closed up like a pierced ear nobody’s put an earring through in a while.”

Tayce lets out a screech, part-horrified, part-disgusted. Her stomach hurts as she tries to collect herself, and an idea forms in her mind. “You could so do it if you tried. Hey, here’s what to do, right? Tia and Veronica are going out for that big romantic beach walk Tia’s been talking our ears off about for weeks. Bimini’s missing in action, as you said, and probably will be for most of the day. And I’ll get A’whora out of the flat for a while. So that means you’ve got Ellie all to yourself, on Valentine’s day, ready to be…I don’t know, wined, dined and sixty-nined.”

It’s Lawrence’s turn to howl in disgust now, but the sparkle’s back in her eyes as she grins at Tayce. “I don’t think we’re at that stage yet, doll. But I don’t know, maybe you’re right. I mean she’s never gonna see me as anything more than a friend if I keep acting like only that, is she?”

Tayce smiles, glad to see she’s instilled some confidence in her friend. “That’s my girl!”

Lawrence claps her hands together decisively. “There we go, then. I’ll have her drippin’ like a knackered fridge in no time!”

The pair of them burst out into untethered shrieks of laughter, ones that draw footsteps from the hall and cause Tayce’s door to open again, this time to reveal both Ellie and A’whora. It looks as if the pair of them were together too, and Tayce thinks it wouldn’t be unusual if Ellie had been venting to A’whora about her own unrequited crush.

“What the hell is so funny? I’m trying to do a big emotional, dramatic monologue about my broken heart to this one but I can’t, because all we can hear is your monkey screeching through the wall,” Ellie grumps, sitting herself down at the foot of the bed.

“We were shagging. That’s just the noise I make when I come,” Lawrence deadpans. As Ellie and A’whora splutter a laugh, Tayce fixes Lawrence with an incredulous stare, one which she hopes communicates “if that was you flirting then what the fuck?”.

“G’wan, Els. Do your big monologue here,” Tayce encourages her, budging up as A’whora squashes onto the bed too even though there’s barely room for two at the best of times, never mind four. A’whora groans long-sufferingly.

“Please don’t make me sit through it again.”

Ellie turns to her friend, affronted. “Girl!”

“I’m joking, babe.”

Appeased, Ellie lets out a plaintive little sigh as she casts her gaze up to the ceiling. “I’m just fucked off. I mean I get that Tia’s happy, and I’m happy for her-”

“No you’re not,” Lawrence cuts in matter-of-factly.

“No I’m not, but that’s beside the point,” Ellie rolls with the interruption, making Tayce snort with her honesty. “I just wish they weren’t…rubbing it in my face all the time, you know?”

“They can’t rub it in your face if they don’t know you like Tia, Ellie. You can’t get annoyed at them for existing,” A’whora pulls a face, honest to a fault. It’s something else that Tayce really appreciates about her; she knows she’ll never get bullshitted by A’whora, knows she’s truthful and upfront. It’s just another part of what makes their arrangement work so well- she knows A’whora’s not exactly going to be covering up any feelings anytime soon.

Ellie continues with a huff. “I know. And I know I’m being unfair, and I know I’m being immature about it all.”

“Give yourself some credit, girl, you only just turned eighteen about five minutes ago. You’re allowed to be immature,” Tayce quips, earning a laugh from A’whora and Lawrence and a scowl from Ellie that she knows she doesn’t really mean.

“It just sucks not being able to turn my feelings off. I want to get over her, you know? It’s just hard when we live together and Veronica’s round all the time.”

There’s a lull in conversation where the girls hum in agreement and empathy. Tayce chooses this time to sneakily elbow Lawrence in her side, as if to nudge her towards spending time with Ellie.

Lawrence takes the hint. “Ellie, what’re you doing today, hen?”

Ellie looks despondently at her. “Probs greetin’ into a pint of Haagen Dazs. How?”

“Well, I’m wanting to dye my hair,” Lawrence says, and the niche context for spending time together knocks Tayce for six a little. “And although I wouldn’t trust you to keep a succulent alive, I’d trust you to do a not awful job of hairdresser duties. You wanty help me out with it?”

Tayce tries not to look at A’whora because she knows they’ll end up sharing a knowing smile that’s entirely too suspicious as Ellie’s face lights up. “If anything would cheer me up right now it’s the prospect of fucking up your hair beyond all recognition.”

“Brilliant,” Lawrence deadpans, though there’s a little smile on her lips which suggests to Tayce that Ellie could very well completely shave her completely bald then dye her scalp yellow and Lawrence would still thank her.

Tayce turns to smile at A’whora. Time to hold up her end of the deal.

“Well, I don’t much fancy staying to deal with the fallout of this inevitable disaster. You wanna go for brunch somewhere?”

A’whora’s so clearly trying to bite back her smile, make it seem more contained and controlled, but it still spreads across her face like a sunbeam and it warms Tayce’s heart like one too. “Alright. S’pose I could squeeze you into the calendar somewhere.”

As the pair of them lock eyes and Tayce struggles to suppress her own smile, the girls are interrupted by a knock on the door. Tayce shouts them in, figuring they might as well squeeze a few more people onto the bed while they’re at it and attempt some sort of world record, but it’s Tia and Veronica and they aren’t staying long judging by the fact they’ve both got their jackets on.

“Just saying goodbye before our lil’ seaside adventure!” Tia smiles, her happiness completely uncontained and radiating from her; if A’whora’s smile was a sunbeam then Tia encapsulates the energy of the whole burning star. Tayce is happy for her.

“Have fun girlies, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” Tayce smiles, waggling her fingers in a wave.

“Aye, no sex on the beach!” Lawrence says, unsubtle and untactful as ever. Veronica flushes so red she borders on purple, and Ellie gives a laugh dripping in schadenfreude.

“Wind your bloody neck in, you menace,” Veronica bites back good-humouredly, the dregs of her embarrassment still colouring her cheeks. “Have you seen the weather forecast for today? It’s absolutely freezing!”

“That the only thing stopping you? Sure you wouldn’t be the only people in existence that’ve tried to shag wearing two jumpers and a parka,” Lawrence continues to joke, and by now Ellie is a collapsed heap on the bed.

Tia speaks for her girlfriend who’s still blushing fire-engine red. “Well usually, Lawrence, you wear sexy underwear for your girlfriend on Valentine’s day. Not that you’d know.”

A’whora and Ellie let out a little whoop of shock in response to the shady comment, which neither Lawrence nor Tayce join in with. Tayce deigns to give it a little smirk, but knowing how Lawrence has been feeling for the past few weeks kind of removes the humour of the comment for her.

“Here, watch it. Only I’m allowed to make jokes about how single I am,” Lawrence herself narrows her eyes in response, before smiling tightly at the loved-up pair. “Anyway, have a lovely time, you two!”

“We will!” Veronica practically squeaks in delight, flicking some of her blonde hair over her shoulders as she loops her arm through Tia’s and they leave the flat, the front door clicking behind them. There’s a silence in Tayce’s room before Lawrence speaks again.

“Smug wee gits.”

The rest of the girls dissolve into giggles, Tayce whacking Lawrence on the arm. “Shut up, bitter Betty. Go make your bad hair choices.”

“Right, let’s go!” Ellie claps excitedly before reaching out for Lawrence’s hand. She of course accepts gladly, a hint of pink blush to her cheeks as she’s dragged out of the room by her enthusiastic friend.

The moment Tayce’s door shuts A’whora shimmies up next to her side, a little twinkle in her eye that Tayce knows all too well.

“Hey you,” she smiles, throwing an arm and a leg over Tayce in a full-body hug. Tayce laughs at her clinginess, how she remembers A’whora describing herself as “not much of a huggy person” when they first met in freshers’ week and now she’s the human embodiment of a baby koala.

“Stop flirting, God,” Tayce shoots back playfully, watching the affronted expression take hold on A’whora’s face for only a second before pulling her in for a kiss that A’whora instantly turns up the heat of. Her lips are soft but her kiss is full of a hunger that makes something inside Tayce tighten up, and there’s something about the way A’whora clearly wants her that leaves her feeling ever-so-slightly breathless.

“Right, that’s enough of that,” Tayce jokes as she pulls away, and A’whora’s plaintive pout is almost motivation enough to keep going. But Tayce has made a promise to Lawrence, so she doubles down. “C’mon, get ready. And wear something classy as well, we ain’t going to some scaff caff we could spend any old hungover morning in.”

“Wait, were you serious about brunch?” A’whora’s expression changes, her smile becoming almost shy. It’s ever-so-slightly adorable and completely endearing.

“Yeah, girl! I said to Lawrence I’d take you out so that her and Ellie can have some alone time. Get your shit sorted,” Tayce explains.

There’s shutters that go down behind A’whora’s eyes suddenly, and Tayce narrows her eyes, confused. “Unless you’re not keen?”

“No, of course I’m keen!” A’whora brightens up a little, smiles at Tayce mischievously. “If you’re taking me out, though, you’re paying.”

Tayce blurts out a laugh. “Fuck off! Fine, I’ll pay today. Just means you have to pay next time.”

“Oh there’s a next time, is there?”

A’whora’s batting her lashes at her flirtatiously, but her words have made Tayce’s heart do a little somersault. She supposes what they’re doing is a little bit like a date, and that’s not what their relationship is. They used to hang out like that, though, used to do things just the pair of them like go to the library and pretend to do work, go for lunch at Nandos, watch films together curled up in bed. In a way, Tayce supposes nothing has changed. It would be weird to not hang out just the two of them just because they’ve started hooking up.

So Tayce just returns the smile, casual and chill because that’s what they’ve agreed to be. “I gotta get paid back somehow, don’t I?”

“Could pay you back in other ways,” A’whora winks, and Tayce splutters in a giggle.

“Shut your whore mouth or we’ll never bloody leave the flat.”

They get ready after that, anticipative energy radiating through the wall of A’whora’s room. Tayce feels almost a little nervous. She doesn’t know why. It’s just a brunch, and it’s just A’whora. If she thinks about it, though, A’whora’s never been just A’whora. Tayce has always found an element of joy in spending time with her that she hasn’t ever felt with the others. The spark that goes off in her heart whenever A’whora laughs at one of her jokes, the comfort she takes in just being in the same room as her. The way Tayce has always looked forward to the time they get to spend alone together and the way that, since they started whatever the hell this is, that feeling has only intensified.

It feels more intense now than it ever has before, though. Maybe because it’s a little bit like a date. Maybe because it’s exactly like a date. Maybe because Tayce shouldn’t be this happy about that fact. Maybe the way she used to fancy A’whora- the way she used to just want to kiss her and get her in her bed- has evolved since they started this whole friends-with-benefits situation.

She takes a little deep breath, frowning at herself as she does her lipstick in the mirror.

“Pull yourself together, girl,” she mutters under her breath; because really, what the hell kind of levels of freaked out would A’whora be if Tayce were to show or to tell her any of this? They’re just friends. Friends that hook up. Nothing more than that, and Tayce can’t let herself hope that hard either.

A’whora knocks on Tayce’s door just as she’s securing two gold hoops into her ears. She’s taken the wear something classy brief as seriously as Tayce knew she would, and she’s dressed in a short, black leather skirt and a black and white tailored shirt; one colour on each side, separated by buttons down the middle. Every little detail and accessory has been as thought out as an outfit from a fashion student could be: a pearl choker around her neck and a pearl headband through her intricately curled hair, simple silver earrings and a pink faux fur coat and the black Michael Kors bag that Tayce knows has been her pride and joy since she got it for Christmas. Her legs are bare and she’s wearing high black stilettos which make her legs look entirely too good, and in turn fill Tayce’s head with memories that she needs to push out of her head or else the outfit A’whora’s spent so long putting together is going to end up on the floor.

“Love this,” Tayce points at her approvingly, and A’whora’s smile is a little bashful as she gives a twirl. “You look stunning. I mean, you’ll be freezing. But you’ll be stunning and freezing.”

“Just means you can warm me up later,” A’whora winks at her, and Tayce hides a giggle behind her hand. She never used to get shy if a girl flirted with her, especially not one with the lack of flirting abilities that A’whora possesses. She could always give as good as she got, she still can.

Tayce doesn’t know, though. Something about the past month with A’whora has changed her a little now that their relationship is inherently more intimate. Tayce can drop the cool, calm and collected persona she always used to wear to get girls into bed. Instead she’s allowed herself to be a little more goofy, a little more wild and animated and energised. A little more herself.

“You look stunning too, though,” A’whora adds with sincerity, the little grin on her face only making matters worse. Tayce has decided on a white shirt dress she’s cinched in at the waist with a huge belt, and paired it with thigh high vinyl boots. It’s one of those outfits she owns which is low effort but high payoff, especially when A’whora’s got a little twinkle in her eye like that.

Tayce snorts, grabs her bag from the side of her bed and whacks A’whora with it. “Stop trying to flatter me into bed and let’s go, gorgeous.”

They leave the flat with a shout of goodbye to Ellie and Lawrence, but judging from the way the door’s open and the showerhead’s running and both girls are yelping and laughing in the midst of some water fight, they aren’t able to hear it. Tayce leads A’whora through the cobbled streets and winding, dipping roads of the city as she talks a mile-a-minute about where they’re going and how she hopes they’ll have a free table. She almost wants to reach out and take A’whora’s hand, entwine their fingers together like another piece of the puzzle they share clicking into place. She doesn’t, but she wants to.

She’s sure the feeling will pass, anyway.

She’s sure it’s normal for her heart to swell as much as it’s currently doing as she walks beside A’whora, for it to flutter like a moth to a light whenever she smiles and flashes her teeth. A’whora is beautiful, and Tayce is sure that even friends that didn’t fuck would get tongue-tied if one of them was as stunning as she is.

To her delight, the brunch spot she’d had in mind has a table free for them; one beside the feature wall of plastic pink, blue and yellow flowers which Tayce already knows A’whora will be asking to take her photo in front of. She’s never actually been here before but she’s seen pictures on Instagram of the pink painted walls and pastel blue chairs and the white marble tabletops with shiny gold cutlery on top. She’s eyed up the breakfasts; avocado sourdough, eggs with golden yolks, and something which they’ve branded ‘donut French toast’ which A’whora is currently telling Tayce how excited she is to order, her eyes sparkling. If this was a date, it would be the perfect venue.

It’s just a pity that it isn’t.

They order two mimosas with their breakfasts- because fuck it, it’s Valentine’s day, and Tayce wants to celebrate the fact she’s got someone to spend it with even if it is just a friend- and the two of them fall into easy chat about all kinds of topics; uni, their courses, life at home in Wales and Worksop. Dating somebody new comes with stilted conversations, awkward pauses, the potential to cover a touchy subject. With A’whora there’s none of that. They already know each other inside out so they don’t have anything to re-learn. Tayce tells A’whora stories about Cara and Cheryl and understands when A’whora doesn’t join in with stories about her own friends from home. Instead, A’whora brings up their flatmates.

“I get really existential about it all. Y’know, fate and stuff,” A’whora frowns across the table at her mid-conversation. “Like, what are the odds the five strangers I’d live with in first year would be people I all get on with and genuinely like? And most of them would become my best friends in the world. You know?”

Tayce nods understandingly. “No, I get that. And like, fate putting Ellie and Lawrence in the same flat when they’d known each other for that long. And Tia and Bimini on the same train up when they moved in. What a small world?”

“Everything happens for a reason,” A’whora says quietly, shaken out of her small reverie by the plate of sugar-covered toast that’s being placed in front of her and thanking the waitress politely. Tayce can’t help but splutter a laugh when they’re left alone together again, looking at how A’whora’s eyes have lit up at the food in front of her.

“You’re like a child! An actual child. Swear to God, girl, you’ve got the same eating habits as Will Ferrel in Elf.”

A’whora cackles a laugh opposite her. Tayce wonders why it gives her such a sense of pride when A’whora laughs at something she says. Well, no- she knows exactly why, and the reason makes her stomach flip over like clothes in a tumble drier. She can’t think too much about that, though, so she thinks of something else quickly to take her mind off it.

“Right. I’ve got a fun game. First impressions of the five of us, go,” Tayce says, the idea coming to her as a result of what A’whora’s said. In response A’whora’s eyebrows shoot up, a scheming smile on her face as she tilts her head to consider her response.

“Ooh, well…easiest one is Bimini, because obviously I loved them from the get go.”

“How could you not?” Tayce agrees, spearing a strawberry from the pancakes she’s ordered herself.

“They just had this calm, kind aura that just immediately made me feel loads better about being away from home,” A’whora continues, nodding earnestly. “Same with Lawrence, although she was different. I actually thought she was batshit crazy. Or like, an alien, because no one human could be that funny.”

Snorting, Tayce points a finger at A’whora in recognition. “Jesus, that’s so true! I mean I’ve told you the story of when I first got to the flat? I actually thought she might’ve been on something. But that’s just who she is; when she’s up she’s up and when she’s down she’s down.”

There’s a pause as A’whora eats some more of her French toast, her gaze fixing on the wall as she thinks. “Ellie was the opposite. I didn’t know what to make of her at first. She was dead quiet and I think my back was up because I hated her dress sense.”

Tayce splutters. “Of course it was.”

“But now, like…God, don’t you miss the days when Ellie was quiet?” A’whora laughs affectionately. “I don’t know what I’d do without her, though.”

“She seemed a little more reserved than the others at first. But then that comes back to what you were saying about fate, because Lawrence definitely helped bring her out of her shell a bit.”

A’whora nods as she considers Tayce’s words, then her face breaks into a smile and she hides a guilty laugh behind her hands. “Tia…I thought I would not get on with at all.”

Tayce sips her drink and shrugs. “Well, you didn’t get on with her at first.”

“True. She’s just not somebody I would’ve ever hung out with before. I mean she’s told me before she thinks I would’ve bullied her in school, which, to be fair, I might’ve done,” A’whora pulls a guilty face. “But I guess being somehow the only two bitches with the ability to clean the flat is one hell of a bonding opportunity.”

Tayce feels her jaw drop open, offended. “Hey! I clean the flat!”

A’whora smirks. “Oh what, you pour undiluted Zoflora into the overflowing bin bag so it doesn’t smell, instead of actually…I don’t know, taking the bin out? My mistake, sorry. You’re actually the second coming of Mrs Hinch.”

The pair of them giggle together and Tayce sticks out her tongue in response. She takes a bite of her own breakfast before thinking about the girl they’re considering.

“I thought Tia was nice. Fun. I never saw her becoming my bestie or anything, but you know,” Tayce shrugs.

“No, that title was reserved for me,” A’whora smiles smugly. Tayce decides to have a bit of fun with her, tilts her head and narrows her eyes a little.

“You mean Bimini?”

“Fuck off,” A’whora fires back instantly, and Tayce throws her head back in a laugh. The laughter dies down as both girls eat some more of their food, until Tayce frowns at A’whora suddenly.

“You never said me.”

“Oh!” A’whora realises. Tayce thinks for a second that she could be blushing, but the sun has begun to appear behind the clouds and the light is shining through the glass windows and hitting the pink walls. It could just be that.

She looks gorgeous for it regardless.

“Do you want me to go first?” Tayce smirks, breaking out into a laugh as A’whora gives her an unimpressed glare.

“No, because I already know you’re gonna tell me you thought I was a total weirdo.”

“Not true! I actually thought you were a lot like me. Scared, nervous, a bit emotional. Well,” Tayce reaches across the table and pokes her playfully. “Maybe a bit more emotional than I was, but you know.”

A’whora rolls her eyes. “Good.”

“But seriously, I thought we were actually quite similar, y’know, underneath it all,” Tayce says, her voice growing a little quiet as she thinks. “It’s weird, isn’t it? The first maybe…month of uni. Everyone’s figuring shit out and either building new facades or letting their old ones from school or their hometowns drop. It’s rare you find someone who’s just real from the get-go.”

A’whora nods. “I think that was another reason why I was so scared. Because I was one of the bitches in school, and coming here I didn’t have those toxic friendships around me anymore. And you coming into my room on that first day was like…the first time in a while someone had actually been nice? And kind? So I guess I didn’t have much of a choice to just be myself. But also there was a part of me that didn’t really know what that looked like. You know?”

The conversation’s taken a deep turn, and Tayce doesn’t really know why. It’s not a result of one singular mimosa, she knows that much. But she’s glad A’whora feels like she’s able to talk like this with her. She knows it’s not always easy for her to open up to her friends, she knows she’s been burned in the past.

So Tayce reaches out across the table and takes her hand. “Well, to me…Aurora is a caring, kind, loyal friend. She has the biggest heart and all this love to give to so many people. She’s a shady hound, but we all love her for it. And all her friends treasure her because they know how lucky they are to have her in their lives.”

Tayce can tell A’whora’s trying to stop herself from smiling, and her gaze drops down to the table bashfully as she tucks her hair behind her ears. It’s almost like she’s embarrassed, self-conscious of the way all the diamonds of her personality have been excavated and laid bare. For a second Tayce feels a flush hit her face, wondering if she’s overstepped a mark, but then A’whora’s eyes lock onto hers and she’s smiling gratefully.

“Thanks, Tayce.”

Tayce would love to take her other hand. Tayce would love to lean over the table and kiss her in front of everyone else in the room. Tayce would love to tell A’whora everything she’s feeling, all these little moments and emotions illustrating a bigger picture that Tayce just wants her to colour in.

But they’re friends. So Tayce gives A’whora’s hand one last squeeze and winks at her as she draws her hand away.

“You’re welcome. Slag.”

And then they’re smiling at each other, and the conversation moves on. A’whora never did say what her first impressions of Tayce were, and it’s too late to ask her again. Tayce supposes it doesn’t really matter all that much. She’s more interested in how A’whora feels about her now. For example- does she feel the same way Tayce is feeling? Is she sitting opposite her trying to stop her heart jumping every time she smiles, trying to stop the butterflies fluttering in her stomach? Tayce is an upfront, honest girl. She’s blunt, and normally she’d ask.

But this situation isn’t normal, and something’s stopping her. Tayce always used to be the girl in primary school who’d play with the boys, run around the playground roaring until her lungs were hoarse pretending to be a tiger or a dragon, roll across the dusty tarmac getting her knees scraped and dirty. One thing she always, always used to pride herself on was her fearlessness. She’d puff up her chest before the flu vaccines, the dentist, any remotely fearful situation and hit out with “I’m not scared of anything”.

Why is she so scared now? Because she’s older, and life’s big worries are no longer a needle or a tiny mirror in her mouth. She’s not afraid of anything physical, things she can see; it’s the things she doesn’t know, the things she can’t work out that scare her so much. The thought of telling A’whora that what she feels for her might not be strictly friendship any longer gives her an adrenaline rush worse than any rollercoaster she’s been on, and it’s not entirely a good kind either.

The waitress appears to clear their plates and Tayce slaps her card down against the little metal tray ready to be tapped against the reader to pay the bill, just like she’d promised. It’s funny, though, that A’whora’s lost all her gumption now the time has actually come for Tayce to follow through on her promise, and as the waitress reappears A’whora is protesting wildly.

“You honestly don’t have to pay. I was just joking!”

Tayce laughs incredulously. “Oh that was a joke, was it? Seemed like a legally binding contract when we were at the flat!”

“Shut up, hound,” A’whora sticks her tongue between her teeth as she smiles cheekily.

The waitress hands her card back to Tayce and she keeps talking as she puts it away in her purse. “Well, don’t feel bad. As I said, the next one’s on you.”

As A’whora raises her eyebrows, the waitress fixes them with a cheery smile. “Thanks so much for popping in today, ladies, and I hope you enjoy the rest of your Valentine’s Day! Is this your first one together?”

Tayce chokes a little on nothing, tries to stop her eyes from flying wide open. She doesn’t dare meet A’whora’s eye as she shakes her head. “No, uh, we’re-”

“Aw, I knew it couldn’t have been your first, I could totally tell you’d been together way longer! Well may I say, you make a lovely couple,” she continues breezily, Tayce finally meeting A’whora’s gaze and trying not to laugh. The waitress thanks them once more before disappearing, and the two girls are left in a small bubble of silence before A’whora releases her giggles, Tayce putting her hands up to her burning hot cheeks.

“Jesus, Mary and Nora, what the hell was that? The Spanish Inquisition?” Tayce babbles, and A’whora doubles over opposite her.

“Well it is Valentine’s day, Tayce. It’s not that wild to assume two good-looking girls like us with such obvious chemistry are head-over-heels in love with each other,” A’whora winks. Tayce feels her heart do a backflip at the mention of that word, and she’s got about a split-second to cover up the fact her whole body’s been rocked by a ten on the richter scale.

Just continue the joke.

“Oh, yeah. Long-term relationship, married, house, kids. The babas.”

A’whora splutters a laugh, gestures around her. “Except we don’t know where the little shits are!”

The two of them are in fits again, and for a moment Tayce could pretend that it is all real, that maybe in a different world this is a date, and they are together, and everything’s as simple as it was when she was little and not even scared of the dark.

They stumble back to the flat together all fizzy with anticipation, drunk off of one mimosa each and sheer excitable lust. The pair of them keep the joke going all the way home- they have a semi-detached house in the suburbs, their children are named Tarquin and Edith and they attend private school and go to hockey and rugby clubs, they have a live-in cleaner, they do their weekly shop at Waitrose- both of them making the story more fantastical and ridiculous with every new addition that by the time they arrive back at the flat Tayce’s stomach hurts from laughing and A’whora’s bottom lashes are smudged with mascara from her own tears of mirth.

Tayce shushes her as she turns the key in the lock of their front door, hiding her own giggles and pressing a finger to A’whora’s lips playfully. A’whora responds by opening her mouth and snapping like a crocodile, only serving to set Tayce off again as she takes her hand and opens the door, sneaking through it comically like a Scooby Doo character as they hang up their coats in the hall. Luckily, though, they don’t even need to be quiet. There’s a blast of a hairdryer from Ellie’s room which mingles with the sounds of Katy Perry behind the door, and two sets of screeching laughs that cut through the combination. Maybe Tayce and Lawrence’s plan is actually working.

Tayce feels a familiar flutter in her stomach as she pulls A’whora into her room, her anticipation building. When she closes the door she whips round to find A’whora has already dumped her bag on Tayce’s floor and is sitting on the edge of Tayce’s bed, frantically trying to unbuckle her heels. They don’t even need to discuss what’s to come. They both know it’s all the other has been able to think about all morning.

Tayce unzips her boots and sits beside A’whora, resting a hand on her bare thigh. She traces her fingers over her skin gently and presses a kiss against her neck, her heart thumping as she hears A’whora sigh gently in response.

Tayce brings her lips up against her ear as she whispers. “I think you should keep them on.”

“Fuck,” A’whora hisses, her reaction so visceral despite Tayce not really having done anything at all yet.

True to form, A’whora swivels her head around to meet Tayce’s, cups her jaw and brings their lips together in a kiss that’s eager and frantic. She can hear her breathing- heavy and laboured and shuddery as her hands push into her hair, her fingers wrapping around little sections and pulling gently in a way that makes Tayce pull back to hiss through her teeth, dig her nails into A’whora’s inner thigh in stark contrast to the way she’s been gently teasing her.

“Behave,” Tayce warns.

“You know I can’t,” A’whora murmurs, cocking an eyebrow in response. She’s got Tayce’s dark lipstick painting her own lips now and it looks too good, makes Tayce squeeze her thighs together when she thinks about the lipstick marks she wants to leave all over her bare skin.

“Can’t give you what you want if you don’t behave, princess,” Tayce responds, inching her hand up her thigh and stopping just short of where she knows A’whora wants her to. She wants it too, though. She wants to brush her fingers over the material of her underwear, feel how wet she probably already is. But not giving A’whora what she wants is just as fun as satisfying her, if only to see her being reduced to liquid form in front of her, full of frustration.

“Please, Tayce,” A’whora pulls her in again, pressing kisses to her lips between snatches of sentences. “Want it so much, fuck.”

“Already? So impatient,” Tayce runs her thumb over her soft skin again. She’s burning up too but she’s not going to lose her own composure, not when the payoff of staying in control is so good. “You gonna be good for me, angel?”

“Mm-hm,” A’whora pouts against her lips. Tayce pulls away and the sight of A’whora’s half-lidded eyes with her pupils blown from lust isn’t helping her keep a handle on the situation at all.

She gently pushes A’whora back against the mattress, straddles her whilst unbuttoning her shirt and punctuating each button with a featherlight kiss, which she knows is driving A’whora out of her mind if the way she’s squirming underneath Tayce is anything to go by. A’whora’s scrabbling at the buttons on Tayce’s dress but she doesn’t have the patience or presence of mind that she does, and Tayce almost wants to giggle at the way she’s only done two buttons by the time Tayce has got her out of her shirt.

“Fuck’s sake, why did we both choose to wear things with so many fucking buttons,” A’whora growls quietly in frustration. Before Tayce knows what’s happening, A’whora has grabbed each seam and pulled, ripping the buttons of her dress off to expose Tayce in her own bra with the criss-cross straps at the back.

A’whora’s staring at her slack-jawed and Tayce can only blink at her in response. She can’t decide if A’whora ruining her dress has pissed her off or turned her on.

It’s definitely turned her on.

“Oh, you’re in a whole world of trouble for that, missy,” she narrows her eyes, pulling the rest of her dress off before moving so she can tug down A’whora’s skirt. She’s left in a matching set of red lace which she looks so sinful in that Tayce’s brain hotwires. Judging from the way A’whora’s hips are bucking against thin air, though, she’s not the only one that’s wound up.

“Jesus, Rory, lie still,” Tayce insists through a laugh. “I’m not about to try and eat you out and get a bloody pelvic bone to the face!”

A’whora whines, and Tayce watches her chest rise and fall rapidly as she stares up to the ceiling in a petulant huff. Her pout cracks, though, when Tayce spreads her legs and kneels between them, replacing her fingers with her lips as she kisses all the way up the inside of her thighs. The way A’whora huffs in frustration and grips the duvet with white knuckles makes Tayce’s core throb, and the need to touch herself is clouding her thoughts like smoke.

She already feels like she’s on fire, so she supposes it’s apt.

So Tayce decides to have a little fun, pulls back from A’whora and sits on her heels as she lets a hand flutter across her stomach and under the waistband of her underwear. She’s not going to take it too far- she’s only trying to teach A’whora a lesson- but as she brushes her fingers over her clit Tayce can’t help but give a little gasp, the satisfaction flooding through her.

The way A’whora flinches in horror and disappointment as she sits up and realises what’s happening makes Tayce feel momentarily sorry for her.

“Tayce!” she whines pitifully. “Fuck off, that’s not fair!”

“Life’s not fair, princess,” Tayce smirks, resting her other hand on her thigh.

“Oh my God, you’re such a bitch,” A’whora pouts at her. She knows A’whora could very easily start touching herself too, but Tayce knows she won’t. Tayce knows she only wants her, and that thought is so intoxicating that it knocks her for six a little, turning up the heat from a simmer to boiling point.

“If you want something from me, you’d better start being nicer.”

A’whora sits up and takes Tayce by the hand, pulls her into a kiss that’s so intense and full of lust it almost topples her over. When she pulls back her eyes are so big and pleading that Tayce feels bad for ever teasing her in the first place. “Please, Tayce. You know I’ll be good for you.”

Tayce cocks an eyebrow at her, but she moves her hand and rests it against A’whora’s other thigh anyway. “That’s the best begging you can manage, is it?”

A’whora smirks. “I’m not used to begging, I usually don’t have much of a problem getting what I want.”

Tayce shakes her head, mocking her as she gently pushes her back against the sheets again. “Such a spoiled brat.”

“Your spoiled brat, though,” A’whora grins smugly, cutting herself off with a gasp as Tayce hooks her fingers over the waistband of her underwear and tugs it off.

Tayce knows she’s going to eat her out but seeing how wet A’whora is makes her consider fucking her with her fingers. It’s a tantalising thought; the way A’whora always has to clamp a hand over her mouth to shut herself up because her moans get too loud, the complete lack of self-control she has when she rides Tayce’s fingers and the way she’ll guide them into her mouth and suck her own juice off them afterwards- Jesus fucking Christ. Tayce needs some sort of release soon or she’s going to be too overwhelmed to speak.

She wants to hear A’whora beg just a little bit more, though. Wants to feel her squirm and taste her on her tongue and trace patterns over her clit that make her whimper and tremble. So she kisses up her thighs again but this time she doesn’t waste any time in brushing over her clit with her tongue, the broken whine A’whora gives at the contact sounding completely illegal. A’whora pushes a hand into Tayce’s hair needily, and Tayce can hear her breathing coming in short gasps as she licks over her slit, swirls her tongue over her clit in a way she knows is good but isn’t what A’whora wants. Tayce is being deliberately slow and lazy, everything A’whora doesn’t need.

“Tayce, please,” A’whora pleads. Tayce kisses against her, then makes a big show of licking A’whora’s juice off her lips. From the way A’whora squeezes her eyes shut at the sight, it’s had the desired reaction.

“What is it, baby?” she murmurs lightly. A’whora gives a broken sob, thuds her head back against the pillow.

“Please, fucking…I need to come, I’m gonna fucking die if I don’t.”

Tayce can’t help but splutter a laugh, one which makes A’whora narrow her eyes at her. She supposes she’s had her fun.

“God, well we can’t have that on the post-mortem, can we?” she deadpans, before dipping her head back between A’whora’s legs and running her tongue over her clit like she’d done before, only this time she allows herself to be a little more messy and unrestrained. She’s rewarded by the little gasps A’whora gives, the whining and the moaning that’s getting more and more frequent with every flick of her tongue.

Tayce pulls away a little, brings her head up to look at A’whora. She’s got one hand in the cup of her bra and the other limp by her side, her chest gleaming with a light sheen of sweat. Her eyes are closed and her cheeks are red and her lips have dropped open, her breathing heavy and rapid.

A’whora’s the most beautiful girl in the world, and fuck, Tayce is so screwed.

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” she says without thinking. She doesn’t know if she imagines it, but she swears A’whora’s cheeks grow redder.

“Does it feel good?” Tayce follows up her words, asks what she’d meant to ask in the first place.

A’whora bites her lip and nods her head. “Yeah.”

“You like it?”

“Fuck, yes,” A’whora squirms against the sheets, her frustration starting to show.

“Tell me how much.”

“Tayce, please-”

“Come on, princess. You’re being such a good girl using your words,” Tayce purrs, knowing that the praise will get a reaction out of her.

It does.

“Fuck, feels so good Tayce, so, so, fucking good…please don’t stop, please,” A’whora sighs out, then instantly cuts herself off with a cry as Tayce swipes her tongue over her clit again, gives her what she wants.

“Such a good angel baby,” Tayce murmurs against her, tracing over A’whora’s clit in circles and listening to her whimpers get more and more muffled as she bites down on her lip to shut herself up. She’s so desperate that she’s practically riding Tayce’s face at this point and it’s so hot that Tayce has to move a hand between her own legs, grinding against it as she licks A’whora again and again and surely she must be so close to the edge that-

Knock-knock-knock.

Tayce launches her head back from between A’whora’s legs so fast she thinks she’s given herself whiplash. When she locks eyes with A’whora her eyes are wide open too, the pair of them unable to do anything but look at each other, frozen in panic.

When Ellie’s voice comes, Tayce swears she’s never been closer to committing homicide. “Tayce, A’whora! We did Lawrence’s hair, you should see it!”

“Leave it, don’t answer,” A’whora hisses frantically at her. Tayce wouldn’t even be able to reply if she wanted to, the way the blood is racing in her veins and roaring in her ears rendering her motionless.

“We know you’re in, your coats are in the hall!” Lawrence’s voice comes, louder and with a hint of accusation to it.

Shit.

Tayce launches herself off the bed and throws A’whora’s clothes at her frantically as she shouts back. “Just…give us one minute!”

“The fuck are you doing in there that you need a minute?”

Tayce ignores her, trying to calmly turn her dress the right way round but it’s so inside out and jumbled up that it’s rendering the process a lot trickier than she needs it to be right now. A’whora’s in a worse situation, though- she’s got every button on her shirt to button up, and if she wasn’t able to unbutton Tayce’s shirt when she was horny she’s sure as hell unable to button her own up under pressure.

“Where the fuck is my thong? Where did you put it?” A’whora hisses at her, scrambling at the duvet in desperation. Tayce’s eyes dart round her floor, cursing herself for not having an immaculately tidy room like A’whora’s. With a sigh of relief she finds it sitting on top of a floordrobe pile and she snatches it up and throws it to A’whora quickly. She turns her attention back to her dress and can almost feel a stress headache growing at her temples. Why won’t the fucking thing turn the right way-

“Have we to stand out here all day like a pair of lemons?”

“Give us a bloody minute, Jesus!” Tayce yells back, feeling like punching the air as she finally sorts her dress out. Her blood runs cold, however, as she makes to tug it over her head and Lawrence’s voice comes again.

“For fuck’s sake, girls, I’m sure it’s not that bad, we’ve seen each other in worse states.”

The doorhandle moves and A’whora and Tayce both yell in tandem. “Nonononono!”

The door bursts open, Tayce is standing holding her unbuttoned dress in her bra and pants, A’whora’s on the bed in her thong and half a buttoned up shirt, and there’s Ellie and Lawrence in the doorway with their eyes wide and jaws slack. Lawrence, in all her freshly lilac-dyed glory, is the first to turn around, pushing against Ellie frantically as she tries to exit the room as quickly as she came in. As she’s leaving, Tayce hears the start of her sentence.

“What possible heterosexual explanation could there fuckin’ be-”

Tayce can only look at A’whora, whose head is in her hands in embarrassment. Her heart goes out to her and she crosses the room and sits beside her on the bed, placing a hand on her knee to comfort her.

“Well. They know.”

“And so will the whole flat in about five minutes’ time,” A’whora deadpans into her hands. When she pulls her head back her face is beetroot red, and even though Tayce is embarrassed too she can’t help but laugh at the state her friend is in.

“Fuck’s sake,” Tayce shakes her head as she giggles, resigned to the fact their secret is out. There’s a pause of silence before A’whora frowns.

“I’m sorry.”

Tayce frowns back at her affectionately. “What’re you apologising for! It’s not like it was either of our faults.”

There’s a silence again in which A’whora brings her knees up to her chest and hugs them.

“Do you still want to…you know. Do you still want to keep doing all this? Now they know.”

Tayce nods quickly. A thought occurs to her and she frowns. “Unless you don’t want to?”

“No! No, I still do,” A’whora insists, a shy smile growing on her face that lifts Tayce’s hopes a bit.

Tayce pokes A’whora’s arm, slyly grins in realisation. “Well. Guess if the whole flat knows then there’s no real reason to be quiet from now on, is there?”

When A’whora meets her eyes there’s a spark between them, and when they fall against the mattress together in a kiss then Tayce thinks maybe the others knowing about the pair of them won’t matter a single bit.

As long as they get to keep doing this together.

#rpdr fanfiction #rpdr uk #uk2 #ortega #me and you together #taywhora #lesbian au #university au #college au #british au #freshers au #roommate au #smut #tayce #a'whora #friends with benefits to lovers #lawrence chaney #ellie diamond #bimini bon boulash #tia kofi

[bitletsanddrabbles]

Thomas Barrow and the Gaydar Myth

One of the really bipolar points in DA fandom is how information spreads in the house. It’s one of many, and this is, of course, because there are millions of people here with our own separate points of view. But it’s rather ironic to go from reading a fan fic about “everyone finds out about Thomas’s suicide and reacts to it because OMG you know they couldn’t keep a secret!” (despite the fact that everyone directly involved has proven throughout the years that they can, if they want to) to people wondering at the fact that all of the straight people in the house apparently have better gaydar than the gay guy, because everyone knows he’s gay, but he can’t get a date.

So I’m going to take a minute to address the whole ‘gaydar’ thing, ‘cause there are (believe it or not!) people who genuinely do not get what it is and how it works.

Now, don’t get me wrong. It’s super fun to act like gaydar is the queer version of the force and some Jedi mind trick allows us to identify each other without so much as a word. It really is! And there are people who absolutely make it seem that way. But that’s not what’s happening. What is commonly called ‘gaydar’ is, simply put, the ability to read behavioral cues and that has nothing to do with your actual sexuality.

Example:

My queer ass has zero gaydar. I’m an introverted shut in. I don’t go out. I fail the ‘if you can count the number of friends you have who aren’t white, you’re racist!” test because, once you get rid of my family and coworkers (who I only see at work), I can count my RL friends on my fingers. I only need one hand and I won’t run out of fingers. Similarly, I don’t watch a lot of TV or movies. What does all of this mean? It means that while I have a decent writer’s grasp on psychology, picking up on real world gender cues is not a skill I’ve developed. At all. Seriously, I first suspected my female supervisor who wears button down shirts, bow ties, and has a short, military hair cut might be gay when she mentioned in conversation that she was gay. Until he mentioned his boyfriend in conversation, I strongly suspected that my supervisor who talked with his hands, had very swishy body movements, and spoke – not with a lisp, exactly, but with a very distinct, sort of flirty speech pattern was quite likely gay. I’ve not even suspected most of my queer coworkers – even the ones who, in retrospect, are advertising pretty hard – until they mention relationships. I am that bad at this!

Meanwhile, you have my Dad and Step-mum. Both straight, both cys, but very social, extroverted people, and an active part of any work or community environment they’re a part of. For years anytime a church in our conference wanted to establish or expand a queer presence in their congregation, Dad was one of the go too pastors. This was even after we had openly queer clergy. He’s got good gaydar. If  gaydar really were a Jedi mind trick, my Step-mum would be the ultimate Jedi master. Seriously, she can spot a half way to Narnia closet case at fifty paces. She’s that good.

So how does this relate to Downton and Thomas Barrow? Easy. The most relatable thing about Thomas, for me, is that he fails at reading cues. He tries, but he is not an expert. Now, people point to the amazing underground queer scene in England at the time, but that was underground? And it wasn’t everywhere. Basically to find it you had to know someone or stumble upon something. That doesn’t seem like much to our well connected age, where you can find out anything you want at any time you please, courtesy of the internet, but again, consider: My country passed or upheld two really amazingly progressive bits of legislation in 2020, and the only reason I know about them is because my parents told me. My social media – which is full of progressive liberals who are all for this sort of thing – didn’t say boo about it. So if I can nearly miss History Making political moves when I have access to the ‘net, is it really so hard to believe that a shop boy turned footman isn’t In The Know as far as England’s gay scene, outside of what he reads in the papers, of course, which is would not include the location of the nearest gay bar...unless the police had just raided it. Or it was queer coded to the point that only someone who was really good with the lingo, aka Not Thomas, would recognize it.

There’s a rather good post out there already about how Thomas’s experience with other gay men seems to be entirely upper crust, so I won’t repeat that at length here. Suffice to say any experience he has with the underground gay scene would quite likely involve someone like the Duke of Crowborough taking him to a club where he wouldn’t be at all welcome if he weren’t on the arm of the Duke of Crowborough, and it is also not impossible – or even unlikely – that the Duke is the one who started that relationship. Thomas has clearly picked up an idea of how to figure things out, but it’s clumsy as hell – see his attempts at figuring out Jimmy. People might scream predator at the top of their lungs because ‘OMG INAPPROPRIATE TOUCHING!” but honestly? That’s probably what it would look like if someone told me I had to figure things out without just asking. Only ten times more awkward, because Thomas at least has enough experience with toffs to give him some sort of confidence.

Meanwhile, the older servants of the house are, well, older. Upstairs, Lord Grantham went to Eton. They’ve all traveled, because staying at one house for your entire career wasn’t very typical. There are a good number of people in the house who would actually have far more opportunity to develop a good gaydar than Thomas. Mrs. Hughes had known other queer men. Mr. Carson was in theater, a famously queer heavy occupation, although even there he probably isn’t as good as he thinks he is. Who knows about that absolutely punchable butler from Season 6? And all it takes is one gossip to figure out what’s going on – and I’m not looking at Mrs. Patmore here, but….yes, actually, I am – and there you go! A miracle if the whole village isn’t in on the secret!

So, yeah, it’s not at all unbelievable that there would be people in the house with better gaydar than the gay guy and that they would spread the word. And while that may not make Thomas the ultimate representative for the London gay scene at the time – or even the York gay scene – it makes him a really good rep for people like me, who aren’t connected, in a world where the people with spot on gaydar are becoming the norm in fictional representations, and funny thing, I appreciate that.  It’s nice to see someone who is, more or less, the way I’d be if I’d grown up in an unsafe environment rather than my so-supportive-no-one-believes-it’s-real household.

#downton abbey #thomas barrow #character meta #let's see how long it takes me to regret this entire post and delete it #ignorant outlier perspective

[personalcoachingcenter]

Research Paper: The Importance of Purpose

New Post has been published on https://personalcoachingcenter.com/research-paper-the-importance-of-purpose/

Research Paper: The Importance of Purpose

Research Paper By Mark Bishop (Executive Coach, UNITED STATES)

Introduction

As I developed both my coaching model and power tool for the certified coaching program at ICA, I spent a good deal of time considering the importance of purpose in life and leadership.  In my experience, many people go through jobs, companies, and careers based merely on what opportunities; roles, companies, or assignments; come available and without sufficient consideration of what makes them happy.

I’ve seen many colleagues pursue opportunities because they felt it might be a good career move, without regard to what they enjoy doing and how they want to contribute.   We spend an inordinate amount of time in our working environment; it amounts to more than 13 years of the total lifespan for most adults.  With that much significance on our working environment, it pays to focus on what makes us happy at work and try to maximize that feeling as much as we can over those 13 years!

With this thought in mind, I set about to research the importance of having a purpose or understanding one’s purpose.  My thinking initially was that we each have one singular purpose in our lives.  My research led me to understand that our purpose can, and often does, change over the course of our life.  Circumstances in our lives, in our careers, or in the world, influence our purpose.  A world pandemic, for example, could certainly impact our thoughts on purpose.  My research is centered on the importance of purpose applied to the professional world as I develop my skills as a leadership coach.  Of course, much of the research can easily be applied to other aspects of our lives.

What is the purpose?

Merriam-Webster defines the word purpose as:

to propose as an aim to oneself

a subject under discussion or an action in course of execution

to propose as an aim to oneself

It includes the following synonyms:

Intention, resolution, determination, ambition, aspiration, dream, goal, objective

It is worth noting that missing from these definitions and synonyms are words like an opportunity, circumstance, good fortune, coincidence, or fate.  This implies that purpose is decided, directed, and intentional.  At Berkley’s, Greater Good Magazine, they remind us that “to psychologists, the purpose is an abiding intention to achieve a long-term goal that is both personally meaningful and makes a positive mark on the world.” Having a purpose is something that is meaningful to us and has a positive impact on others.  It is the accumulation of a series of actions and events that occur over time, an expedition across time with a point on the horizon as our compass.  For those with an identified purpose, that journey is in a specific direction and less subject to circumstance.

Why is purpose important?

Research suggests that having a sense of purpose, having a mission in life, having a reason behind your decisions and actions can actually lead to a longer, healthier life.

“Having a purpose in life has been cited consistently as an indicator of healthy aging for several reasons, including its potential for reducing mortality risk. In the current study, we sought to extend previous findings by examining whether purpose in life promotes longevity across the adult years, using data from the longitudinal Midlife in the United States (MIDUS) sample. Proportional-hazards models demonstrated that purposeful individuals lived longer than their counterparts did during the 14 years after the baseline assessment, even when controlling for other markers of psychological and affective well-being.

Moreover, these longevity benefits did not appear to be conditional on the participants’ age, how long they lived during the follow-up period, or whether they had retired from the workforce. In other words, having a purpose in life appears to widely buffer against mortality risk across the adult years.” (Hill &Turiano, 2014)

In addition to living longer, there is evidence to suggest that people with a high level of purpose are physically healthier, more likely to take care of themselves, and have lower stress levels than people without a strong sense of purpose.  (Berkley.edu)

If being healthier and living longer isn’t reason enough to seek out a clearer understanding of our purpose, there is evidence to suggest that knowing one’s purpose can lead to better financial success and decision making.

“This sense of purpose was also found to translate into greater financial success.  The study found that people with this clear sense of purpose in life were much more likely to make financial decisions that support these longer-term, downstream goals rather than squandering their resources on short-term and impulsive decisions.” (Krapivin, 2019)

If living longer, being healthier, and being more financially sound still fails to motivate us, maybe having a greater impact on our work environment will push us over the edge to pursue an understanding of our purpose.

“This is where purpose comes in. Simply put, having a sense of purpose in your job means that you feel that your work makes positive contributions to the world, beyond earning yourself a paycheck or improving your company’s bottom line—you feel a commitment to something bigger than yourself.” (Wolfe, 2015)

The significance of managers who have a sense of purpose goes beyond the manager and extends to the employees who work for them.

“The report quite clearly shows that employees tend to be both happier at work and more productive when they are being led by managers who have this clear sense of purpose, with those fortunate employees more likely to put in an extra effort and less likely to quit their jobs.” (Krapivin, 2019)

Having a sense of purpose makes us better leaders. Authentic leaders have a sense of purpose, knowing what they are about and where they are headed. “Purpose manifests itself as passion. Passionate people are interested in what they are doing, are inspired and intrinsically motivated, and care about the work they are doing.” (Northouse, 2017).

Understand their leadership purpose so they can align people around a common purpose. Purpose defines the unique gifts people bring to leadership challenges, through which they can align others with their purposes to create a positive impact. This is far more important than focusing entirely on achieving success in metrics like money, fame, and power, yet ultimately produces sustained success in those metrics as well. (George, 2011)

Burning Platform vs. Burning Ambition

So many of the people I have worked alongside over my career are running from one crisis to the next.  They are constantly putting out fires and fixing problems.  This behavior is all too often rewarded in the corporate world. These people are seen as heroes, as ‘go-getters,’ as problem solvers.  While the notion of a burning platform will tend to get people motivated to act, it is not a healthy or sustainable motivator.  Reacting to an emergency stimulates adrenalin and anxiety, neither of which are conducive to clear, rational, creative thinking.

“In the world of burning platforms, there are way too many pyromaniacs.” (Fuda, 2018)

Burning ambitions provide greater, more sustainable motivation.  If you are running away from something, you aren’t looking at a map.  If you are running towards something on the horizon, you are much more likely to use a map to guide your way. Jim Collins, in his book, Good to Great (2001), calls the ‘burning platform’ a myth of current management practice and further claims they are destructive behaviors, often leading to a pattern of failure he calls the doom loop. “Aspiration is a far more important motivator; sustainable change requires the fire of a burning ambition.” (Fuda, 2018)

Reflections

In leadership coaching, we are not only focused on the leader as an individual but on their effectiveness in leading others to successful outcomes.  Research shows that employees are happier and more productive when they are led by managers who have a clear sense of purpose. This research also reveals that only 20% of managers consider themselves purposeful leaders. (Krapivin, 2019)

In many organizations, there is a strong priority placed on positions of authority and influence.  These are often measured by the team’s size, the budget managed, and other visible gauges. The status of a leader is often incorrectly measured by these criteria.  The larger the group, budget, or office, the greater the leader is thought to be.  These are inaccurate measures of effective leadership.  It is this perception that often drives individuals to seek these positions, even though attaining these roles may not bring fulfillment.

I have seen this many times in my years in Human Resources; the desire for a job title, an office, or to manage more people, drives decisions and actions that are not necessarily consistent with the client’s purpose.  This tension begins to create dissatisfaction and discontent, which often leads to poor performance or disengagement.  As a coach, do not underestimate the drive for these trappings and how much this can influence the client’s decisions.  I have worked with many leaders that do not feel joy or excitement in dealing with large teams, yet they hold onto these teams with a fierce grip.

Bill George, former CEO of Medtronic and current professor at Harvard Business School, says

“Before anyone takes on a leadership role, they should ask themselves, ‘Why do I want to lead?’ and ‘What’s the purpose of my leadership?’”According to George, if the answer to those questions lies in power, prestige, and position, there is a risk that internal desires and purpose may go unsatisfied.  He believes that while these are not inherently wrong with these objectives so long as they are tied back to the individual’s inner purpose.  (George, 2011)

A helpful activity is to work with the client to define a purpose statement.  This is a brief written description of the client’s purpose that can be used for periodic reflection, for guiding decisions, and for grounding the client’s ambitions.  Keeping this nearby, your client can refer to this when making decisions.  It can also be revisited when circumstances change, or life events occur that might influence the client’s outlook on their purpose.  Explore with the client the meaningful moments in their lives that continue to inspire them, that fulfill them, that give them delight.

Getting to understand purpose can be done on a micro basis – exploring activities, accomplishments, and behaviors that the client enjoys and finds rewarding, then reflecting on why these activities bring joy and how to translate that into purpose.

It can also be done on a macro basis – exploring seminal moments in the client’s life that define who they are and what they enjoy.  Similarly, this can be translated into defining the client’s purpose.

The desire for a certain position in an organization can be a false trail to professional happiness and engagement.  However, for most clients, it can be a highly rewarding outcome to discover and define the client’s purpose to guide career ambitions.  The client may have the same career ambitions after clarifying their purpose; however, the basis for them becomes clearer.  In some cases, the client may recognize their ambitions have been misplaced.  In either case, knowing their purpose enables the client to begin translating it into excelling in their position.

While our purpose may evolve and change over time, having a clear understating of our purpose is likely to lead to a healthier, longer, more financially successful life where we are more satisfied with the work we do, and we make better leaders.

He who has a why to live can bear almost any how to live. Friedrich Nietzsche

References

Bill George, June 2011. “Why Leaders Lose Their Way”. Harvard Business Review.

Bill George, July 2016. “The Truth About Authentic Leaders.”Harvard Business Review.

Pavel Krapivin, January 2019. “The Financial Value Of Having A Purpose In Your Life”. Forbes

Brad Wolfe, March 2015. “Can Higher Purpose Help Your Team Survive and Thrive? A conversation with Twitter’s Niki Lustig about how the social media giant fosters a sense of purpose among their employees.” Midful.org

Neil Si-Jia Zhang, August 2014. “Can Purpose Keep You Alive?” Greater Good Magazine, Greatergood.berckley.edu

Patrick L. Hill, Nicholas A. Turiano, May 2014. “Purpose in Life as a Predictor of Mortality Across Adulthood.”Psychological Science.

Peter Northhouse, 2016. “Leadership: Theory and Practice.” Sage Publications.

Dr. Peter Fuda, 2018. “From Burning Platform to Burning Ambition.”www.peterfuda.com

Jon M. Jachimowicz, October 2019.”3 Reasons it’s So Hard to Follow Your Passion”. Harvard Business Review

Original source: https://coachcampus.com/coach-portfolios/research-papers/mark-bishop-importance-of-purpose/

#bts purpose #coaching #coaching demonstration #executive coaching #find my purpose #find purpose #find your life purpose #find your purpose #finding your purpose #how to find my purpose #how to find purpose #how to find your life purpose #how to find your purpose #how to find your purpose in life #justin bieber purpose #leadership coaching #life coach #life purpose #no purpose #purpose #purpose in life #purpose lyrics #purpose motivational video #purpose of life #secret to personal growth #success mentor #true purpose #what is my purpose #what is your purpose in life #Personal Coaching

[thesaltofcarthage]

I finally get the anger about Thor: Ragnarok

I’ll admit it: I saw it the first time in the theatre and loved it, because it seemed funny and fresh. And it was absolutely what started me on the Thorki Spiral, which I hadn’t shipped before.

It was also where I really started to get emotionally invested in the MCU, and started plumbing more of the meta depths online, and understanding the character arcs beyond the plot arcs. And of course I’ve spent two years on this blue hellsite, enjoying the GIFs and the fics and the art.

But I didn’t actually rewatch the movie.

And last night I sat down to rewatch it, and... wow.

Wow, it is really not funny.

I recall reading a defense of Taika Waititi’s choices in this film, and how he is deconstructing colonialism and puncturing the White CisHet Male Hero myth, and I totally get all that. All the NZ/Aussie voices and aboriginal cultural influences are genuinely refreshing.

But I also recall reading Waititi’s casual dismissal of the Thor comic canon, and how he viewed Thor and Loki as “rich spoiled boys whining about their problems.” How he sees Loki as an “emo goth kid” who needs to grow up. How he deliberately ignored everything which had come before. And I recall reading about Hemsworth’s boredom with Noble Thor and how he longed to do more comedy.

The problem with Ragnarok is that Waititi views the protagonists as bad guys.

Bad Guys need to be punished. They need to lose.

I was intrigued by how Odin, by way of Hela, was framed as a conqueror, and how that part of history needed to be acknowledged and rejected. But: 1) Odin was already previously presented as a bad guy because of his shit parenting 2) the narrative re-rejects that point of view by redeeming him on the cliff in Norway just before his discorporation. Odin is never punished for his conquering rampages. He never has to acknowledge what he stole, or how he hurt people or entire cultures, or make reparations. He never has to admit what he did to Loki. He just gets to melt away and join Frigga.

In Waititi’s view, the White CisHet Male Heroes who think too much of themselves and need to be taken down a peg are... Thor and Loki. The title character and the canonically queer/pan/genderfluid outsider.

Yes, Thor and Loki are played by White CisHet Male actors. That does not make both characters White CisHet Males. (And let’s be clear: while there’s a lot of White CisHet Male Privilege going around which can certainly stand to be dismantled, “White CisHet Male” isn’t automatically equivalent to “evil jackass.” Thor’s identity as a White CisHet Male doesn’t mean that by definition the narrative has to break him.)

Loki was not a conqueror in the MCU — not the way Odin was. Loki’s “conquest” was canonically forced at the hand of the actual enemy, Thanos, who tortured and brainwashed him, and was controlling him via the Mind Stone.

Loki is not a colonizer. Loki is an outsider, an Other. He may present as White Cis Male, but he doesn’t have to, and he hasn’t always. There’s the wink from Jeff Goldblum and the implication that Loki was sleeping with him to “gain his favor,” but this is presented as more of a joke on Loki than anything else. And that’s what the entire narrative does: repeatedly make Loki the butt of the joke.

Poking fun at the people in power is a well-worn narrative device. Using humor to puncture legend, to remove power from people who claimed it illegitimately and at the expense of the less powerful, is a classic function of storytelling and should absolutely be celebrated.

Mocking Thor’s pompousness? Keeping him off-balance? Cutting his hair, having him whack himself in the head with Hulk’s sparring ball? Sure, why not. Because Thor is the hero. He is the center of the narrative. He is the one who has taken power and needs to learn to live without it to grow.

Except... that was the arc of the first Thor movie. Thor is not the arrogant shitheel he used to be. And Thor doesn’t grow or change in Ragnarok. There’s no character arc. He just... blithely sails on, pursuing what he thinks is right. Granted that what he claims to be pursuing is “saving the people of Asgard,” which is a noble and selfless goal, Thor personally doesn’t change. He’s as goofy and blustery in the post-credits stinger as he is in the pre-credits scene where he’s dangling in chains.

The only moment which can remotely be framed as “change and growth” is “Are you ‘Thor, God of Hammers’?” Which, again, could have been really powerful, as Thor learned that he didn’t need the literal mark of Odin’s approval (a measure of his “worthiness”) to channel his divine powers, but it ended up being an admittedly kick-ass action scene. And he’s never shown as being utterly helpless without Mjolnir; the hammer is an excellent weapon, but not his only one.

And Loki? Loki doesn’t have power, not in the narrative sense. Loki didn’t rampage over entire realms, not of his own volition. He did not steal or kidnap. Loki was never in line for the throne; that is, again, the entire plot of the first Thor movie. Loki has nothing to puncture. Attacking someone in power to even the scales is justice. Attacking the powerless is just bullying.

Which is what it felt like Waititi was doing, over and over: bullying Loki. Dr. Strange, who has been studying sorcery for what, 18 months? can outwit Loki, who has been a seidmadr trained by the seidkona Frigga for over a thousand years? Strange sends Loki into a portal where he is falling for half an hour?

When did Loki fall last? Off the Bifrost. When he was committing suicide. When he was captured by Thanos, who then tortured him for six months.

Oh yes, that’s something to make fun of. But Waititi wouldn’t know that, would he, because he made a point of ignoring the characters’ histories.

Thor being casual, callous, even rude, to the beloved brother he thought had died in his arms years ago? Thor putting an electrical torture device on his beloved brother, the man he defended to the entire Avengers, the man he refused to surrender to Midgardian authorities, and leaving him there to suffer? Thor mocking his beloved brother, telling him he needs to change and grow? Loki is the bloody god of chaos. How is Loki the character who hasn’t grown and changed?

But Waititi wouldn’t know any of their past interactions, because he made a point of ignoring the characters’ histories.

Waititi just saw the most superficial possible reading of these two characters and assumed that they were ripe for punishment — that they needed to be reduced. Which is what he did, proudly. So when the fandom reacts and complains that he’s disrespecting beloved characters, what he hears is that we’re defending White CisHet Male Privilege.

Waititi thinks he dismantled two copies of Obidiah Stane. The fandom saw him bludgeoning Bisexual Steve Rogers, Pre- and Post-Serum. You don’t pick on the little guy. You don’t reduce your hero.

Thor and Loki’s rich and complex history, even just in the MCU, is completely ignored. It’s reduced to the throwaway line of “You faked your death” (which is not what happened) and “I mourned you! I cried for you!” and Thor’s anger that Loki managed to survive. Not relief that Loki is still alive, but offense. And if the script had explored that more — “Why did you pretend to be dead? Why did you hide in Odin’s guise? Why didn’t you find a way to let me know what happened? If you were hiding as Odin, why didn’t you act as Odin?” — I would even have bought that. There is, in fact, a lot to unpack there. But that would have meant exploring everything that happened off-screen between the Thor movies. It would have meant studying that history, acknowledging it, and expanding on it. And Waititi saw Two Spoiled Rich Kids and had no interest.

The problem with Ragnarok is not the humor, or the outsider perspective from a Maori director. The problem is that the creator chose the wrong targets. I have learned in the past two years how many fans have come to identify with Loki the outsider, and Waititi deliberately chose to remain ignorant of that aspect of the character. He created two strawman versions of the characters and proceeded to tear them apart.

I am less hopeful now for Thor: Love and Thunder than I was. I don’t know how important Jane Foster’s storyline is in the comics, but if he ignored Thor and Loki, it’s not unreasonable to imagine he’d ignore Jane’s history too. I may have defended Waititi’s Ragnarok before. I won’t do so again.

#thor #loki #ragnarok #meta #thorki