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#but they just have to be where the other is
renthony · 2 days
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Okay, so y'all know the phenomenon where American media companies say they can't produce queer stories because they'll just get censored in foreign markets? It's transparent as hell, because the dominant culture of the United States is still violently queerphobic, and in many cases, state queerphobia in other countries is the direct result of Christian imperialism. The US is not the enlightened gay haven in a world of evil homophobic foreigners, and trying to pretend that American media can't be too gay because it'll be censored overseas is asinine. We all know that, right?
Anyway, today I learned that there is an episode of the Australian cartoon Bluey that has been censored in the United States because it shows the dad character pretending to be pregnant and have a baby as part of a game of pretend. Disney refuses to air it on the Disney Channel or on Disney+. It has been made available on YouTube by the Australian rights holders.
So let's quit fucking pretending that Disney is actually scared of foreign censors, hm? The queerphobic censorship is coming from inside the House of Mouse, and it always has been.
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punisheddonjuan · 2 days
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So You've Finally Switched to Firefox: a Brief Guide to a Some Very Useful Add-Ons.
This post is inspired by two things, the first being the announcement by Google that the long delayed Manifest V3 which will kill robust adblocking will finally roll out in June 2024, and the second, a post written by @sexhaver in response to a question as to what adblockers and extensions they use. It's a very good post with some A+ information, worth checking out.
I love Firefox, I love the degree of customization it offers me as a user. I love how it just works. I love the built in security features like DNS over HTTPS, and I love just how many excellent add-ons are available. It is a better browser than Chrome in every respect, and of the many Chromium based browsers out there, only Vivaldi comes close.
There are probably many people out there who are considering switching over to Firefox but are maybe putting it off because they've got Chrome set up the way they like it with the extensions they want, and doing all that again for Firefox seems like a chore. The Firefox Add-on directory is less expansive than the Chrome Web Store (which in recent years has become overrun with garbage extensions that range from useless to active malware), but there is still a lot of stuff to sift through. That's where this short guide comes in.
I'm presently running 33 add-ons for Firefox and have a number of others installed but disabled. I've used many others. These are my picks, the ones that I consider essential, useful, or in some cases just fun.
Adblocking/Privacy/Security:
uBlock Origin: The single best adblocker available. If you're a power user there are custom lists and scripts you can find to augment it.
Privacy Badger: Not strictly necessary if you're also running uBlock, but it does catch a few trackers uBlock doesn't and replaces potentially useful trackers like comment boxes with click-to-activate placeholders.
Decentraleyes: A supplementary tool meant to run alongside uBlock, prevents certain sites from breaking when tracker requests are denied by serving local bundled files as replacement.
NoScript: The nuclear option for blocking trackers, ads, and even individual elements. Operates from a "trust no one" standpoint, you will need to manually enable elements yourself. Not recommended for casual users, but a fantastic tool for the power user.
Webmail Ad Blocker: The first of many webmail related add-ons from Jason Saward I will be recommending. Removes all advertising from webmail services like Gmail or Yahoo Mail.
Popup Blocker (Strict): Strictly blocks ALL pop up/new tab/new window requests from all website by default unless you manually allow it.
SponsorBlock: Not a fan of listening to your favourite YouTuber read advertisements for shitty products like Raycons or BetterHelp? This skips them automatically.
AdNauseam: I don't use this one but some people prefer it. Rather than straight up blocking ads and trackers, it obfuscates data by injecting noise into the tracker surveillance infrastructure. It clicks EVERY ad, making your data profile incomprehensible.
User-Agent Switcher: Allows you to spoof websites attempting to gather information by altering your browser profile. Want to browse mobile sites on desktop? This allows you to do it.
Bitwarden: Bitwarden has been my choice of password manager since LastPass sold out and made their free tier useless. If you're not using a password manager, why not? All of my passwords look like this: $NHhaduC*q3VhuhD&scICLKjvM4rZK5^c7ID%q5HVJ3@gny I don't know a single one of them and I use a passphrase as a master password supplemented by two-factor-authentication. Everything is filled in automatically. It is the only way to live.
Proton Pass: An open source free password manager from the creators of Proton Mail. I've been considering moving over to it from Bitwarden myself.
Webmail/Google Drive:
Checker Plus for Gmail: Provides desktop notifications for Gmail accounts, supports managing multiple accounts, allows you to check your mail, read, mark as read or delete e-mails at a glance in a pop-up window. An absolutely fabulous add-on from Jason Saward.
Checker Plus for Google Drive: Does for your Google Drive what Checker Plus for Gmail does for your Gmail.
Checker Plus for Google Calendar: The same as the above two only this time for your Google Calendar.
Firefox Relay: An add-on that allows you to generate aliases that forward to your real e-mail address.
Accessibility:
Dark Reader: Gives every page on the internet a customizable Dark Mode for easier reading and eye protection.
Read Aloud: A text to speech add-on that reads pages with the press of a button.
Zoom Page WE: Provides the ability to zoom in on pages in multiple ways: text zoom, full page zoom, auto-fit etc.
Mobile Dyslexic: Not one I use, but I know people who swear by it. Replaces all fonts with a dyslexia friendly type face.
Utility:
ClearURLs: Automatically removes tracking data from URLs.
History Cleaner: Automatically deletes browser history older than a set number of days.
Feedbro RSS Feed Reader: A full standalone reader in your browser, take control of your feed and start using RSS feeds again.
Video Download Helper: A great tool for downloading video files from websites.
Snap Link Plus: Fan of Wikipedia binge holes? Snap Link allows to drag select multiple hyperlink and automatically open all of them in new tabs.
Copy PlainText: Copy any text without formatting.
EPUBReader: Read .epub files from within a browser window.
Tab Stash: A no mess, no fuss way to organize groups of tabs as bookmarks. I use it as a temporary bookmark tool, saving sessions or groups of tabs into "to read" folders.
Tampermonkey/Violentmonkey: Managers for installing and running custom user scripts. Find user scripts on OpenUserJS or Greasy Fork, there's an entire galaxy out there of ingenious and weird custom user scripts out there, go discover it.
Browsing & Searching:
Speed Dial 2: A new tab add-on that gives you easy access to your favourite sites.
Unpaywall: Whenever you come across a scholarly article behind a paywall, this add-on will search through all the free databases for an accessible and non-paywalled version of the text.
Web Archives: Come across a dead page? This add-on gives you a quick way to search for cached versions of the page on the Wayback Machine, Google Cache, Archive.is and others.
Bypass Paywalls: Automatically bypasses the paywalls of major websites like those for the New York Times, New Yorker, the Financial Times, Wired, etc.
Simple Translate: Simple one-click translation of web pages powered by Google Translate.
Search by Image: Reverse search any image via several different search engines: Google Image, TinEye, Yandex, Bing, etc.
Website Specific:
PocketTube: Do you subscribe to too many YouTube channels? Would you like a way to organize them? This is your answer.
Enhancer for Youtube: Provides a suite of options that make using YouTube more pleasant: volume boost, theatre mode, forced quality settings, playback speed and mouse wheel volume control.
Augmented Steam: Improves the experience of using Steam in a browser, see price histories of games, take notes on your wishlist, make wish listed games and new DLC for games you own appear more visible, etc.
Return YouTube Dislikes: Does exactly what it says on the package.
BlueBlocker: Hate seeing the absolute dimmest individuals on the planet have their replies catapulted to the top of the feed because they're desperate to suck off daddy Elon sloppy style? This is for you, it automatically blocks all Blue Checks on Twitter. I've used it to block a cumulative 34,000 Blue Checks.
Batchcamp: Allows for batch downloading on Bandcamp.
XKit Rewritten: If you're on Tumblr and you're not using whichever version of XKit is currently available, I honestly don't know what to say to you. This newest version isn't as fully featured as the old XKit of the golden age, but it's been rewritten from the ground up for speed and utility.
Social Fixer for Facebook: I once accidentally visited Facebook without this add-on enabled and was immediately greeted by the worst mind annihilating content slop I had ever had the misfortune to come across. Videos titled "he wanted her to get lip fillers and she said no so he had bees sting her lips" and AI photos of broccoli Jesus with 6000 comments all saying "wow". Once I turned it on it was just stuff my dad had posted and updates from the Radio War Nerd group.
BetterTTV: Makes Twitch slightly more bearable.
Well I think that's everything. You don't have to install everything here, or even half of it, but there you go, it's a start.
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reiderwriter · 2 days
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Hi, so I have a request, but please don't feel pressured to write it now.
I was wondering if you could please do a scene or scenario where Spencer shouts out in desperation and panic "where's my wife" after a close call with the team on a very dangerous case.
A/N: I put a bit of a twist on your request so I hope you still enjoy it! Thank you for requesting~♡
Warnings: minor injury to canon characters, explosion, temporary loss of hearing, sight, etc.
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The force of the blow was so strong that when Spencer Reid finally came to, a few seconds after hitting the ground hard, he couldn't hear a thing. 
Whether it was adrenaline, or an injury, or pure shock, his senses were numb, and the only thought in his head as he started screaming was of you. 
“Wh-where,” he coughed, shaking his head to try and focus. “Where's my wife?” 
His voice was quiet and weak at first, but it didn't matter to him. After all, he couldn't hear the words at all. He just felt his lips form the words and knew the familiar vibrations in his throat meant the sound was escaping into the wind. 
You pushed through crowds with a scream as you tried to get through to your team. Spencer wasn't the only one close to the blast. 
Emily, JJ, Morgan, and Hotch were all in various states of disarray around you as you ran back from the car across the street. You'd run back to check some files, feeling something off, and the heat and loud boom behind you was the confirmation you'd been looking for that you were right. 
After his first few attempts, Reid still couldn't see you, much less hear you or touch you or press his arms around you and not let go. He struggled to his feet and began calling again. 
“Where's my wife? Where is… WHERE'S MY WIFE?” His voice broke, and he  coughed gasped through each word, but he didn't stop. 
He stumbled forward, looking to see you through the haze of dust that had erupted from the blast site. Morgan ran to his side just as he tripped, pulling an arm under his as they stumbled together away from the rubble. 
“Where is she? She was right here, I need-” he coughed, leaning more on Morgan than he was walking for himself as his ankles twisted under him. 
“Hey, hey kid, we're okay. We need to get away from the blast, okay? Away.” 
Spencer kept rambling, though, his ears ringing as he blinked away his confusion and the panic creeped in stronger. 
“My wife, where is she? Morgan, I have to find her, she could be hurt,” he demanded, his voice stronger now as he pushed out of Morgan's grip. 
Ambulances and police cars were beginning to pull up, half of them already having been on route when your team had pulled up. 
Spencer searched through the crowd, sorting through faces until he found the one he desperately needed to see. 
Emily and JJ had been thrown back towards the cars, but both seemed to have missed big shrapnel and other injuries. He watched them clutch each other and stumble behind the cars as they called into their phones, requesting backup. 
Hotch was similarly talking fast to surrounding officers, and though he looked fine, he clutched his knee in his hand. The already dark material of his pants was somehow darker, and shinier in places, and it was only a moment later that Spencer realized a large chunk of shrapnel was jutting out of his leg, just above the knee. 
Rossi had been the furthest from the blast, bar you, and it was him that Spencer saw next, dusting off his clothes as he moved quickly to assess the scene. 
Morgan was still worriedly trailing behind him as he tripped over his feet. 
“Where's my wife? Where's my wife?” 
He finally saw you then, as you dove into the dust and smoke to assist your team. He was just about to fall to his knees when you ran to him, holding him up under his arms as he wrapped himself around you. 
“Found you. I found you, you're okay?” He asked, hands gently cradling your cheeks as he asked, tears in his eyes. 
“I'm fine, Spencer. Are you-” 
He silenced you with his lips, mouth slanting down on yours as he pushed every fear, every emotion, every ounce of adrenaline into your body. He kissed you like you'd never been kissed before, with desperation and longing and relief. 
And when he pulled away, he collapsed into your arms. 
Luckily, Morgan had been only steps away and took some of his weight off you as you stood, gasping for air and reeling from the kiss. 
You were so dazed, you collapsed to the floor, your knees giving in beneath you, and both Spencer and Morgan came down with you. The three of you were weak and traumatized, and emotions were running high, which is why you tried not to be offended by Morgan's line of questioning. 
“How long have you two been married?” He asked, and you were suddenly taken further aback. 
“What?” 
“Reid was looking for his wife. He was shouting ‘where's my wife? I need to find her.’ He was desperate. He was pushing away from me, and then he saw you, and he relaxed.” Despite the blow of the explosion and the now whirl of shrill sirens surrounding them, Morgan laid every word out carefully, like you would blow just as easily given the chance. 
“I'm not… we're not…Morgan, we're not even dating. I don't know what that was but…” 
Your hands carefully stroked Spencer's hair, gently smoothing it out of his eyes as you searched for answers in the man's unconscious form. 
You didn't stop until the paramedics arrived four minutes later, sitting unblinking as they hooked him up to an oxygen tank and carted him off to the nearest hospital. 
XXX 
The second time Spencer Reid awoke, it was dark outside, and the lights were low. But you were at his bedside, sleeping with your head by his legs, and your breathing was steady. So he let his eyes close again, not registering any of the pain the day had inflicted, and let himself sleep beside you. 
XXX
The third time Spencer Reid awoke, you were gone. He wasn't alone, though. Rossi sat upright in a chair beside the window of his hospital room, reading from what looked to be a case file. 
“Spencer, glad to see you returned to the land of the living,” Rossi said, noticing the younger man's movement and walking to his side. He pressed a button, and a doctor raced in, closing the door gently behind him. 
“Where is she? Where is-” 
“Spencer, it's okay. Everyone's okay. The doctor needs to run through some questions with you to check if you're feeling okay. Do your best to answer, okay, genius?” 
Spencer nodded, ignoring the small ache in his head, so similar to the headaches he'd been plagued with in earlier years. 
The doctor ran through standard questions, checked his blood pressure, checked his reactions, and made sure physically he was fine before moving on to more probing issues. 
“Doctor Reid, I'm going to ask you some simple questions about yourself now to assess for any neurological damage.” 
Reid nodded, regretting it instantly, but wanting to get out of the hospital as fast as possible to see you.  
“How old are you, Doctor Reid?” 
“Thirty, I'll be thirty-one this fall.” The doctor nodded and continued. 
“Where did you grow up?” 
“Las Vegas, Nevada. My mom still lives there. She's a patient at Bennington Sanitarium.” 
The doctor nodded and continued. 
“Are you married, Doctor Reid?” 
“Yes, my-” Spencer had to cut himself off as he processed the question fully. Was he married? No. He didn't remember any wedding. He had no romantic arrangement with anyone at this point in time. So why was he saying yes? 
Your face flashed into his head, and he grabbed his chest as his heart ached. It wasn't your face as he usually saw it, but that dazed and shocked expression you'd worn after he'd kissed you. 
He blanched and reclined slightly, suddenly needing all the pillows on the bed for more support as he realized the weight of his mistake. 
“Doctor Reid? Doctor Reid, did you understand the question?”
“What? Oh, no. No, I'm…I'm not married, I guess.” 
Rossi and the doctor shared a look before the doctor took his leave, promising to check in on you again in a few hours. 
The concerned look from Rossi as his bedside was almost too much to take. 
“Stop looking at me like that, Rossi,” he said, grumbling to himself, suddenly upset at the end of his delusions. 
“Like what? I'm not allowed to look at you now?” 
“You're not allowed to pity me. Where's everyone else? They're okay?” 
Rossi took a seat next to him and sighed.
“Hotch is in surgery - non-critical. They just want to be sure the shrapnel that landed in his leg didn't strike anywhere near a nerve or an artery. Morgan survived with a few bruises and scrapes that make him look even more like an action movie hero. He's coordinating with local law enforcement to catch out bomber.” 
Reid nodded along to each revelation, but his patience was growing thin. Rossi was watching him squirm. Reid, waiting for your name to pop up in conversation so he could talk about you, think about you with a valid excuse. 
“Emily and JJ are back at the motels, Penelope met them there to help them out. Emily's left arm is broken, and she has a nasty cut on her face, JJ twisted an ankle and sprained it pretty bad, so she'll be sitting for a while. I, myself, survived with pleasantly few cuts, a boon given my advancing years-” 
“Y/N, what about Y/N?” Reid finally burst, looking pathetically down at Rossi from his hospital bed. 
“Eager, aren't we?” 
“I need to know she's okay, and that... that she doesn't hate me.” 
“You can find those answers out yourself, kid. My shift is almost over.” 
Rossi stood and grabbed his cup of coffee, saluting Reid as he strolled out of the door. 
Reid was confused until the door opened again thirty seconds later, and you rushed in, breathing heavily as you took in his appearance, checking for damage. 
“Y/N,” he said, sitting up again. “Listen, I'm so, so sorry for kissing you yesterday. My mind must've been jumbled after the explosion and- and I thought you were actually my wife, and we were married-” 
You closed the distance between you quickly, grabbing his cheeks like he had grabbed tours only a day before and planting your lips back on top of his again. 
You kissed him the way you'd been kissed once before. With desperation, and longing, and relief. And when you pulled back, there were tears in your eyes that you didn't let fall, as you pressed yourself into Spencer Reid's arms. 
“Don't. Don't scare me like that again. I thought we'd lost you, I thought you'd kissed me and then - and then died!” You ranted, your arms gesturing wildly, every few seconds pausing to rake a hand through your hair. 
“You're not angry?” 
“Yes. Yes, I am angry, Spencer. You got hurt again, I'm seething.” 
“At me. You're not angry at me for kissing you?” He asked, smiling up as you goofily, a little bit worse for wear, but still shining nonetheless. 
“Oh. No. I was confused, but I'm not angry.” 
“Good,” he said, nodding, the two of you falling into an awkward, tense silence. You picked at dust on his shoulder as he stared at you, neither of you bold enough to say another word until the tension was palpable and Spencer Reid burst open. 
“Can I kiss you again?” 
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amuelia · 1 day
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small drawing as im looking forward to watching tales of the empire tomorrow
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cythena · 3 days
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JUST FRIENDS
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ꨄ︎ synopsis . satoru told your parents you were "just friends" then proceeded to dick you down in your bedroom
warnings . fwb, porn with no plot, protected sex this time, almost getting caught, multiple orgasms, teasing, slight degradation, gojo has is attached, reader's feelings are ambiguous
word count . 0.8k words
notes . 100 posts yippee
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"no don't worry, we're just friends," with an emphasis on that part.
satoru was a liar through and through and he'd be caught in a huge one if anyone were to catch you two right now. his broad shoulders covered your own as he dug his nails into your waist. his other hand pushed your back into the perfect arch for him. his strong thighs slammed against your ass, forming ripples for him to admire. you gripped onto the pillow that you sank your teeth into, soaking it with spit and muffling moans of your friend's name. he also tucked his shirt between his teeth to quiet himself.
"shiiiittt," satoru cursed into his shirt. he let it fall out of his mouth. "barely even touched you 'n you're soaking. should've done this way fuckin' sooner, y'know."
"t-toru! i- ngh—" your pretty voice slipped off into a whimper. satoru grinned at how mindless you became. your brain fried from his cock pounding into you. mascara dripped from your eyes onto your pillow now smearing from your watery eyes. you'd surely have to throw it away or maybe satoru could keep it.
it'd be a nice memorabilia. y'know, finally getting to fuck the girl he's been into since he met her. it needed to be framed, never forgotten. not that he could forget this if he tried. he already ingrained the feeling of your cunt around him and the sound of your moans.
"it's okay, pretty, don't need ya to speak. you're doing so good for me," he teased. you could hear your parents walking through the hallway but he didn't slow down. "you hear that-"
"y/n?" your mother called. satoru wrapped his hand underneath your chin and pulled your face up. he urged you to respond, squishing your doughy cheeks and pulling at your swollen lip. you blinked into to focus enough to reply.
"yes mom?" you bit your lip hard.
"pizza's here. you and gojo can come down wherever."
satoru sighed mentally, relieved that she had no reason to open the door. he gave you a particularly hard thrust. one that sent you over the edge just as you were giving your final reply to your mother. your juices spilled all over satoru's cock and dripped down to your bedsheets.
"yeah be down— ngh! in a sec!" you hurried your words before burying your face back into your pillow.
satoru leaned down next to your ear. he dipped his fingers down to your clit where he rubbed delicate circles. his sultry voice soaking you further with a soft chuckle, "naughty girl . . . you came while talking. didn't think you could be so slutty, all for me."
you let out of muffled sob into your pillow. "y-you're such a— fucking b-bully satoru," you hissed. his length continued hitting you in all the right places. he knew he was a bully but you didn't mind at all. you could feel every detail sliding against your walls and going so deep into your guts that you were sure you could taste him.
"i know it doesn't bother you. can feel you squeezing down on me. wanna cum on my cock again, pretty?"
you frantically nodded. your body writhe under the cool palm he dragged over your back and pushed your shoulders down with. you reached a hand back. your brain was overridden with pleasure and you grabbed onto nothing until satoru linked his hand with yours.
"oh fuck fuck fuck toru! i'm cumming!" you gasped so loud you slapped your hand over your mouth.
holding hands while you came on his cock again? how romantic, he thought. it made his head dizzy and his heart pound. he felt his cock twitch inside of you. he held you tighter while his pulsating cock spurted out warm ropes of cum. his eyes shut in bliss as he sighed.
"mhmm, so good . . . you're so perfect f'me."
he rocked his hips steadily before he pulled out. he sank to a sitting position where he carefully removed his condom then tied it and tossed it into the trash. he helped clean your smudged makeup and even replace your pillowcase. he brought you a new shirt to throw on.
"lie down with me," he whined. he wrapped his arms around you and held you close to his chest. he nuzzled his face in your neck.
you gently pushed away from him but it was futile. you sighed and let him hold you. "what are you doing satoru? we have to go downstairs," you reminded him.
"come on it's just an innocent nap . . . as friends." friends is what satoru decided to call you. it's what you were and he was okay with it being just that as long as he got to hold you like this.
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nereidprinc3ss · 2 days
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hi!!! here for a request. can we have a imagine where reader has a wound from surgery or whatever on like in a rib and she hides to change the bandages but then spencer sees her and he’s like ‘lemme help you’ and…
you do you for the rest!
in which spencer helps BAU fem!reader change her bandages in the bathroom at work. it's intimate, and he's adorable and awkward, and it only fuels her terrible, terrible crush.
warnings/tags: fluff, talk/description of wound, brief talk of being stabbed (does not actually occur in this fic lol), reader wears a bra, spencer undoes said bra but not sexually, lots of suggestive humor and teasing, a TINY sprinkling of angst but not really, idiots in love
a/n: i'm picturing early seasons spencer and it is filling me with so much unbridled joy. I. LOVE. HIM. thank you for the request!! and lets not talk about how inconsistent my formatting for requests is pls and thanks!!
It’s not like you meant to bend down so quickly that your wound reopened—but here you are, suffering the consequences of your actions in the women’s bathroom at Quantico as you try to assess the injury before you re-bandage it. And your shoe is still untied. 
Unfortunately, the fact that you had quite literally been stabbed in the back last week makes it hard to reach said injury—especially when you’re at work and so can’t take off your shirt like you normally would. And all this struggling means it’s taking longer than it should, so now you’re focused on the wound and its scabby, wet edges and all the things it’s secreting rather than hurrying to give another statement of the entire event to Hotch since the first one had apparently been too sparse on the details. 
A knock sounds on the open door. Spencer calls your name. 
“You in there?”
The angle of your neck has your voice slightly strained as you call back, “yeah, what’s up? Is it Hotch?” you pause to hiss as you accidentally scratch at the wound with a nail. You don’t even want to know how much bacteria you just introduced to it. “Tell him I didn’t forget our meeting, I’ll be there in—”
“It’s not Hotch. I just wanted to make sure everything was okay with your back? I know you said you were going to check on it, but you’ve been in there a while.”
You sigh, dropping your sore arm as you continue to hold up your shirt with the other and regarding the reflection of your back in the mirror. 
“Actually—could you come in here?”
There’s a pause. 
“You want me to come into the women’s restroom?”
“Yes, Spencer. It’s fine. There’s nobody else in here. I just… I need some help, I think.”
The last part is admitted quietly, with an air of defeat. To admit to needing help, is, by your standards, the same as failure. Spencer knows this, which is probably the only reason he puts aside his hesitations and shuffles uncertainly into the tiled room. If you’re asking for help, it’s because you really need it. 
“What do you need help with?” he asks, sweeping his gaze suspiciously around the lavatory as if you were lying about there not being any other women present and this whole thing might be a trap of some sort. 
“It’s gross, and you can totally say no.”
He raises his brows expectantly, before spotting the weeping wound on your back. Unconsciously he steps closer, leaning forward. It’s not your fault, and the gore is not specific to you—anyone’s body would react this way to being stabbed. But you still feel embarrassed by the close attention to such an ugly marring, which nobody besides you and your doctors has actually seen up close.
“That doesn’t look good,” he mutters. The expression on his face is irritatingly familiar—the drawn brows, tightened eyes, barely parted lips—but it takes a moment before you realize what it is. 
“Reid,” you complain. He’s still stooped over slightly to examine the wound, and looks up at you through dark lashes with those infuriatingly warm puppydog eyes.
“What?”
“You’re looking at me the way you look at a dead body on the slab.”
His nose scrunches.
Some might say it scrunches adorably. 
“No, I’m not. That’s just my face.”
“Okay, well stop. It’s freaking me out.”
He pouts—actually pouts. Subtle, but bottom lip jutted out and all. It’s ridiculously endearing. 
“My face freaks you out?”
“Wh—no! That’s not what I said! You have—you have a great face! I didn’t mean—” 
You manage to claw yourself out of the hole you’re digging when you see the dopey smile growing on his face. 
Oh. He was fucking with you. 
He never used to do that. It’s unnerving to be the fucked with instead of the fucker for a change. Especially when it’s Spencer. 
“What did you need me for?” Spencer asks by way of peace offering. You close your eyes and sigh, attempting to collect your thoughts without his presence re-scrambling them.  
“Um—I just need you to put this bandage over it. I can’t reach without taking my shirt off.”
And now you’re forced to wonder if he’s thinking about you shirtless as much as you’re thinking about you shirtless.
“Yeah—don’t do that,” he says absentmindedly, stepping again closer to get a better look before turning to the nearest sink.
For some reason, this offends you. 
“Why not?”
Spencer pulls another face as he washes his hands—you love the constant flow of expressions he always seems so unconscious of. Even when they’re not pleasant and directed at you.  
“Are you asking me why shouldn’t you take your shirt off?” he clarifies. 
“I know why I shouldn’t take my shirt off, but I want to know why you think I shouldn’t take my shirt off.”
“Because we’re at work?” he observes astutely. You frown deeply at his completely logical reply. Spencer chuckles as he dries his hands and approaches once more, taking the square of gauze pre-lined with medical tape from your hand. “I mean, I can’t stop you. But it would be kind of a weird choice.”
“Oh, so me shirtless is weird?”
Cool fingers meet the comparatively hot skin of your back—where everything is still sensitive because the wound wreaked havoc on your nerves there. You flinch slightly. 
“Sorry,” he murmurs gently. Though his touch is so incredibly light it doesn’t really hurt—it hurts much less than when you’re tending to the wound, anyway. It’s almost soothing. After a moment he continues, a bit louder. “And that is not what I was saying. But I am completely comfortable asserting that it would be weird for you to be shirtless at work.”
The gentle touches contrast with his teasing words and serve to disorient you as you’re shaken back in to your usual dynamic. Which is markedly more sarcastic. 
“Well—”
Before you have to think of something to say, Spencer interrupts you. 
“Your, um—I think your… brassiere… is in the way.”
As soon as he says it you burst out laughing. It echoes through the room. 
“My brassiere? Are you actually 70 years old?”
His brows knit even tighter and his face gets very pink very quickly. He can’t meet your eyes over your shoulder. 
“That’s what it’s called.”
“Spencer, you may be the first person to use that word since 1952. Say bra.”
“I don’t want to,” he complains. Your laughter only grows as your head tips back. 
“Why? How is brassiere better than bra?”
“It’s—it’s too colloquial! I’m trying to be professional!”
“Call it a bra or I’m going to rub my dirty hands all over my back,” you threaten, adopting a poker face so he knows you mean business. His eyes widen immediately. 
“Oh my god! Bra! Do you want to introduce staph and meningitis and g—do not do that!”
“See? How hard was that?”
“I hate you,” he mumbles, face still flushed and adorable. “And you still have to take it off.”
“Excuse me?” you grin, pretending to be affronted because you know he didn’t mean it like that but it’s fun to pretend he did. Fun for you, of course. Not so much for him. He's utterly flustered by this point.
“Or at least undo it! It’s in the way.”
With a deeply bored sigh, you go to unclasp your bra—but as you go to do it your shirt drops down. You grimace, humor briefly forgotten as the fabric brushes the damaged skin. 
“I can’t—”
“Okay, just—I’ll do it,” Spencer says. “Just move your shirt again.”
So you do, watching his reflection as he works.
And you have not one joke to break the heavy silence with as you feel his knuckles gently pressing into the middle of your back, as he unclasps the bra with his characteristic tenderness and a surprising amount of agility. It’s quiet except for your pulse in your own ears as he carefully pushes it out of his way, holding it down with a hand to your rib cage and fingertips slipping just under the fabric of your shirt—unintentionally and certainly non-sexual, no doubt, but skimming under your heart in a way that still feels so intimate you’re realizing how touch-starved you are. 
“You do that often?” you find yourself asking, because you’re stupid, and you need to cool the tension before it chokes you, and you can’t help yourself even though you don’t actually want to know the answer. 
“I,” he begins, voice quiet as rustling paper, tongue darting over his lip and eyes narrowed. The sentence stalls as he focuses on placing the patch just so. “Do not think that is an appropriate workplace question.”
Something aches in the pit of your stomach. 
Something resembling jealousy. 
It was not the timid evasive linguistic maneuver of someone who is insecure about the thing they’re discussing. It was not the awkward fumbling no but I don’t want to tell you that which you were expecting from Spencer Reid. 
Nor is it an easy yes—an admission between friends. He doesn’t want to tell you. 
You swallow and try to act like yourself. 
“Yet here you are, in the woman’s restroom at our place of employment, undoing my bra. I think we’re past professionalism.”
“When you decontextualize it like that it sounds like something it’s not. This is professional, because I’m helping you with a wound you sustained on the job. I’m being a good colleague.”
Your lips twist into a smile he can’t see. 
“A great colleague would kiss it better.”
“It's almost like you want me to file a sexual harassment complaint with HR," he says through a little smirk as he smooths the bandage over. Before you can snip back, he steamrolls over his own teasing—you’ve both been speaking in almost reverent tones since he started but his voice loses the sarcastic edge from a second before and reverts back to concerned and sweet. “Does that feel okay?”
You rotate your shoulders best you can without letting go of your shirt or flashing the good doctor to check if it feels secure.  
“It’s good. And hey—if I were going to sexually harass you I would do a lot better than that. You think that’s my best material? That’s just the tip of the iceberg. I keep so many inappropriate comments to myself. You’d be shocked by some of the things I have almost said to you.”
He laughs, secures the band of your bra and begins fitting it to the clasp you’d had it on—and at that precise moment Emily walks in. 
“H—woah.”
“It’s—I’m—I was helping her!” Spencer panics, immediately removing his hands from you like his palms are burning and holding them up defensively. 
“Oh, you helped me alright,” you tease, pulling your shirt back into place. 
“Don’t say it like that!” And then, to Emily, “I was changing out her bandage!”
“Changing my bandage,” you emphasize, winking more than is advisable. 
“That’s—this is a hostile work environment! I feel unsafe!” Spencer almost yells, half laughs, as he scampers towards the door. “I’m going to HR!”
“Shut up! You love it!”
His laughter audibly travels farther away for several moments as he presumably goes back down the hallway to do his actual job. 
You have the stupidest grin on your face, but you wipe it off when you notice Emily staring. 
“What?”
“Nothing,” she says, shaking her head and looking away, moving toward a stall. “You’re just… you guys are funny.”
“What do you mean funny?” You demand, standing right outside her stall as she closes it. 
“Wh—I mean funny! Are you going to listen to me pee, you weirdo?”
You frown. 
She makes a good point. 
Unfortunately, giving Hotch a more detailed statement is just as bad as you’d thought it’d be. Despite how cheery you’ve tried to remain about the whole situation, despite the way you insisted that the wound was so shallow you didn’t need more than a few days off work, despite the jokes you make about forgetting it’s even there because it’s on your back—it’s hard not to remember exactly how the glass felt twisting under your skin, how you’d felt suddenly so hot and lightheaded and sick to your stomach and the way Morgan hollered because he didn’t know how deep it had gone after you crumpled quick from shock, when you’re asked to describe it all in excruciating detail. 
It only takes ten minutes, but they seem to drag on and on and by the time you’re leaving Hotch’s office you feel utterly drained. You hurry back to your desk, covertly wiping away moisture that you refuse to allow to become tears. Once seated, and having dodged sympathetic looks and avoided any do you want to talk about its, you allow yourself a few deep breaths with your eyes shut. 
When you open them, you realize there’s a fresh cup of your favorite tea on your desk, in the Snoopy mug the team is always fighting over. Now his little black nose is covered by a square of yellow paper. You’re already smiling as you peel away the sticky note and hold it closer. 
On it is an adorably odd smiley-face, and a note in familiar, messy looping scrawl. 
I would never report you to HR beautiful
That would be a stab in the back!
You snort loudly and clap a hand to your mouth—but you’ve already drawn the attention of almost everyone in the bullpen. 
When you turn to look at Spencer, he’s not looking back. Instead, his eyes are firmly trained on his computer screen. But he’s got his chin propped on his fist over the desk, and his knuckles are doing a poor job of concealing a giant self satisfied grin. He is the only person on the team who knows you well enough to make such a distasteful joke. And he also knows you well enough to know that it would make you feel so much better after your meeting with Hotch than all the well-meaning sincerity in the world ever could.
Funny. 
Maybe that is the right word for what you two are. 
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arieslost · 2 days
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not being able to walk properly the next morning because lando was noooot gentle one bit last night and he’s just laughing his head off
this man is a menace. like, to the point where i can feel it in my BONES. even if he’s being as gentle as can be, somehow he still manages to make you feel it in the morning. and last night was anything but gentle.
obviously you don’t think about anything but him and how good he’s making you feel in the moment, and maybe you’re a little wobbly when you’re heading to the bathroom afterwards, but nothing prepares you for getting out of bed the next morning.
you’ll be tangled up with him, feeling all safe and cozy and satisfied after last night, and if you could have it your way, you would never leave his embrace. but you can’t ignore nature’s calls, and thus you have to detach yourself from your boyfriend and get out of bed…
… at least you would, if you could walk.
you try to take a few steps and instantly recognize the fact that your legs were not at all prepared to take you anywhere, and luckily you can just land right back on the mattress. the sudden movement wakes lando, and he rubs his face, eyes squinting as they adjusts to the light slowly beginning to stream through the bedroom window.
“what’s wrong?” he mumbles, taking in your tight-lipped expression.
“nothing, baby, go back to sleep,” you reply softly, leaning over to kiss his forehead. maybe he actually will and you won’t have a witness to your little problem.
he leans back into the pillow with a hand still over his eyes, and after a quick internal pep talk you’re able to get up and start waddling your way across the room. you nearly fall over when you hear giggling that quickly morphs into true laughter.
“literally shut up, lan,” you glare at him as he rolls onto his other side, a hand on his stomach. “this is your fault.”
“you look like a baby penguin learning how to walk!” he cackles.
“because of you!” you reiterate, leaning against the wall. “the least you could do is help me, i have to pee!”
of course, he’ll dutifully climb out of bed and over to help you (aka pick you up bridal style and carry you), but not without laughing about your predicament the whole entire time. and no matter how many times you playfully smack him for it, he stay proud of himself, knowing that he’s the only one who can get you like this. and luckily for him, he’s the only one you’ll ever want.
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tossawary · 2 days
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That "even if you're writing a non-canon pairing in fanfiction, you have to respect that these characters will probably still care on a basic level about their original love interest" post was inspired by a lot of things. But foremost inspired by any "Fullmetal Alchemist" fanfiction that tries to convince me that Edward Elric doesn't actually like Winry Rockbell at all.
Like, uh, no. Ed would die for Winry, so jot that down. Even if you're writing an AU where one or both of them are gay, which is fun and fine, Ed and Winry are ride or die for each other. They've known each other for so long. They trust each other so much. When they're arguing with each other or annoying the other, it's because THEY CARE. This is basic characterization for them.
I was amusing myself by thinking about an AU in which Ed's romantic interest is someone like Ling Yao, in which there's some dangerous situation where Ed has to choose between saving Winry (his sister figure in this AU) and saving Ling. I was immediately like, "Oh, he would FOR SURE pick Winry in most scenarios. Sorry, Ling." Which would suck for Ed, because he hates failing to save anyone, but is also funny to think about with Ling specifically, because I think that Ling would actually respect this decision more.
Unlike Winry, Ling is a combatant with bodyguards, and so can be trusted to handle himself in dangerous situations. (Which obviously does not make Ling a BETTER love interest for Ed than Winry, Winry doesn't need to be good at fighting, it's just a different skillset.) Ling is also a leader, someone who wants to be an emperor someday, and I think he has opinions on loyalty. Despite feeling grateful to be saved, I think Ling might think quite poorly of Ed choosing him (a relative stranger, even if he is a legit snack) over Winry (functionally a member of Ed's family / clan, a skilled specialist who is necessary to Ed's own combat capabilities), because Ed sure as shit wouldn't be considering future political advantages with Xing here, so it would be choosing a new love over family / a loyal friend. Depending on the scenario (it all depends on the specific situation for all of these cases), I also think that Ling might choose to save someone like Lan Fan or even Mei Chang over Ed in a lot of situations, especially because Ed would HATE IT SO MUCH if Ling knowingly sacrificed anyone for his sake.
Non-canon pairings and their AUs are interesting to me partially for how they interact with the existing canonical relationships and how they negotiate with canonical motivations. For some characters, romantic relationships are just not as important as familial ones or their own goals. Obviously, for Edward Elric, (depending on the specific situation at hand, of course) he's going to choose Alphonse over nearly anyone else.
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xyzstar · 3 days
Text
𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐈-𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐎
— “𝑰’𝑴 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑩𝑳𝑬𝑴, 𝑰𝑻’𝑺 𝑴𝑬, 𝑨𝑻 𝑻𝑬𝑨 𝑻𝑰𝑴𝑬 𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑹𝒀𝑩𝑶𝑫𝒀 𝑨𝑮𝑹𝑬𝑬𝑺”
pairings: charles leclerc x singer! reader
summary: everyone claims your a gold digger but really all you want is love and affection
faceclaim: madison beer, pinterest girls (for aesthetic purposes only!)
warnings: haters, slut shaming, profanity, etc
a/n: there’s gonna be time jumps between some of the posts so sorry if that’s confusing 😖😖 (there will be a part two and potentially part three to this)
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liked by ynlndrama, yntheclown, ynmylove, ynhatersclub, ynloml, and 82,027 others
ynlnupdates y/n and her bf were seen arguing and it ended up with him leaving her crying :(( i hope she’s ok!! <33
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ynloml she deserves better 💗💗
↳ yntheclown tf no she doesn’t
↳ ynhatersclub fr, she’s such a gold digger
↳ ynlnsucks finally someone said it
↳ ynmylove y’all just hating because she’s successful
↳ ynlndrama girl she got that success from her bf, she deserves what’s coming to her. she was such a slut anyways, always hanging out with guys who weren’t her bf.
↳ ynloml you don’t even know her. those guys were FRIENDS and friends only! women are allowed to be friends with the opposite gender dumbass 🙄
ynmylove why are you posting this??? she deserves respect and privacy.
ynswifeyy poor y/n 💔
iloveyn all these haters and for what? 😒
↳ ynloml people just love to tear down women, it’s insane.
user1 no one cares
user2 womp womp
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ynlnofficial ://
*comments have been disabled*
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charles_leclerc japan 🤍
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carlossainez55 ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥
f1fan these photos ate
ynlndrama y/n in the likes 🤨
↳ ynlnsucks gold digger moving onto her next prey! we gotta save charles.
↳ yntheclown RUN CHARLES
↳ ynhatersclub didn’t her and her bf just break up like a week ago??? she moves on quick 😒
↳ mrsleclerc as a charles fan we don’t claim her.
arthur_leclerc without me is insane
landonorris so babygirl
↳ charles_leclerc ???
pierregasly what’s going on in the comments
↳ oscarpiastri i’m confused too mate
↳ charles_leclerc no clue
↳ ynlndrama thank god he doesn’t know who she is
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ynlnofficial <3
yntheclown why is charles leclerc liking this? does he not know what a horrible person she is 😂
↳ ynmylove get a life and stop hating on y/n
↳ yntheclown you’re one to talk, your whole personality is being a fan of that clown
↳ ynmylove girl so is yours????? you literally have a whole account dedicated to her so you can’t be talking either 💀💀
sabrinacarpenter pretty!!
↳ ynlnofficial so are you ml!!
enyaumanzor serving cunt queen
↳ ynlnofficial thanks king i try my best
↳ yntheclown more like she is a cunt
yourbsfuser SLAY MS GIRL BOSS
enyaumanzor WHY WOULD A MAN BE THERE
↳ ynlndrama wait who is that?!
↳ ynhatersclub it hasn’t even been two months since her last bf
↳ ynlnofficial not that it’s any of your business but we’ve been broken up for a couple months now, we just never made it public because it was OUR relationship and we didn’t wanna deal with other people.
↳ ynhatersclub well if you don’t want other peoples opinion on “your business” don’t post it online where anyone can comment.
ynlnsucks how can any man like her 🤢🤮
zendaya beauty
↳ ynlnofficial love you
mrsleclerc what is my man doing liking YOUR post? 🙄🙄
↳ ynloml delusional much
ynhatersclub practically showing off your body for attention
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ynlnupdates y/n seen on a call with her possible new bf? then hides and flips off paparazzi when asked about him 🤔
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ynfan101 she looks so sad
↳ ynloml probably because of all the hate she’s been receiving
↳ ynlnsucks boohoo she can cry about it idc
ynlndrama she’s so rude for flipping them off
↳ ynmylove paparazzi’s should be illegal, i mean it’s basically stalking, she has every right to flip them off for invading her space and privacy.
yntheclown my username says it all lol
ynhatersclub on the phone with her new man (wallet) acting like the victim when it’s no one’s fault but hers
↳ ynfan101 you don’t even know what she’s going through so shut up
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charles_leclerc 🎀💗
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landonorris sus 🤨
oscarpiastri got something to tell us?
carlossainez55 🤫🤫
↳ arthur_leclerc do you know something we don’t??
↳ carlossainez55 …
↳ landonorris TELL US
ynmylove wait a minute
↳ ynlnupdates it’s not just me who thinks that looks like y/n, right?
↳ oscarpiastri y/n who?
↳ ynmylove y/n l/n!
↳ oscarpiastri @/landonorris time to stalk 😈😈
↳ landonorris WHAT
↳ oscarpiastri hush i’m investigating 🧐
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ynlnofficial ❤️❤️
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ynlnupdates THAT IS 100% CHARLES OMG
↳ ynloml who’s that?
↳ ynlnupdates charles leclerc a famous f1 driver
↳ ynloml omg if that is him that would be super cool
ynmylove SCREAMING
oscarpiastri i recognize that hair and puppy hmm
enyaumanzor we lost a bad bitch 😖😖
honeymoon so cute
oscarpiastri @/landonorris LOOK
↳ landonorris charles leclerc you got some explaining to do
↳ arthur_leclerc they really thought they were slick 😹😹
ynlndrama ofc she already has another man
yntheclown bop
ynfan101 THIS IS NOT A DRILL
ynlnsucks barely waited to move on
↳ ynhatersclub she’s only with him for his money
yourbsfuser RAAHHH
ynlnofficial posted to their story
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ynlnupdates proof to why i think charles and y/n are dating. paparazzi pics of charles and a girl kissing on his boat floating around the internet the same time y/n posted a pic of her on a boat. a few days after paparazzi caught y/n with a secret man who looks very similar to charles. lastly, y/n posted a pic of what looks to be leo, charles puppy, on her story. they’ve both been soft launching a relationship at the same time and i don’t think it’s a coincidence.
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ynlnsucks she doesn’t deserve him
ynloml i don’t know much about him but if they are together i hope he treats her the way she deserves 💗
↳ ynlnupdates same!! especially after her ex, you could tell that things were bumpy between them for awhile.
ynfan101 I HOPE THEY CONFIRM IT SOON
ynmylove POWER COUPLE
ynlndrama yet another rich man?? coincidence…i think not 🙄🙄
ynloml the puppy is so adorable 🥰
yntheclown he would never get with someone like y/n
↳ ynfan101 meaning?
↳ ynhatersclub meaning she’s a gold digging slut with no respect for herself or others
↳ ynlndrama ^^
ynmylove charles fellow f1 friends were also in the comments of her latest post and they even think the man she posted is him!!
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luveline · 2 days
Note
Ooo can we have a blurb where bombshell! R and Spence were either on a date or were about to have their first time but got called into work? They both look a little annoyed at being interrupted. The bombshell reader series has my heart 🥺
im picturing boyband reid here maybe <3 fem
cw suggestive content
“These are trick buttons,” you accuse. 
Spencer laughs for the tenth time in as many minutes, perhaps tickled under your hands, more likely that he’s just feeling the same rush of hormones (namely adrenaline) as you are. “They’re not trick buttons, it’s ‘cos your hands are shaking.” 
He takes your poor hands in his. “It’s okay,” he adds softly, “I can do it.” 
“I’m not nervous, I’m excited,” you say, less soft, more desperate than he is, or at least on the surface. 
“I know, I know–” He catches your lips in a sudden eager kiss, a hand jumping to your cheek to ferry you closer, the other sewing down between your two chests to work open his fiendish buttons. 
“See,” he says between kissing, “easy.” 
“I’d like to see this level of dexterity when you unclasp my bra,” you mumble, kissing with every bit of hunger and love you have for him, lips drifting to his cheek, and then down to his jaw. Your mouth opens of its own accord. Spencer lets a breath slip from him coloured with wanting, the most amorous sound he’s ever made under your hands as you kiss, and nip, and—
Your phone rings from the nightstand, a heavy, repetitive vibration. 
“Ignore it,” you say easily, climbing up over Spencer’s lap, hand to the side of his face and rubbing tenderly. 
“I was planning on it,” he says. He was shy at first, those first few kisses, but Spencer’s a person like any other and he squeezes your hips closer to his without further argument. 
Your phone stops ringing a half a minute later. You smile into his mouth, even more when his fingers climb the length of your spine to slip playfully under the clasp of your bra. “How many tries do I get?” he asks. 
You sit back just a touch to meet his charming gaze. “As many as you need, handsome… I’m very patient.” 
He pulls you in to kiss your neck just as his phone begins to ring. 
“It’s work,” he guesses, paused regretfully under your chin. 
“We don’t know that.” 
“That’s my ringtone for work.” 
You breathe heavily atop him. “Can’t we be late?” 
He smiles at you gently. “I’m sorry, angel. If we’re late again this week he might actually bite your head off.”
Things were so perfect. This was it, this was the moment you finally knew each other to the very core, and your stomach aches with how badly you want him. You're startled at the heat behind your eyes knowing it’s not gonna happen. 
“Not tonight,” Spencer says, like he can read your mind. Maybe he’d been thinking a similar thing. “But soon, okay?”
You wrap your arms around his neck. 
His phone stops ringing before he can catch it. Both of your phones ping with simultaneous text messages quickly afterward, before your ringtone begins again in earnest. 
He leans graciously toward the nightstand, allowing you to continue hugging him while also answering the phone. “Hello?” you ask. 
“Agent Hotchner’s calling you in.” 
You press your nose to Spencer’s shoulder. “Okay. I have Dr. Reid with me too. Please stop calling, we’ll be there as soon as possible,” you say, flustered. You hang up quick. 
Spencer pats your back with his fingers, palm flat to your shoulder, apparently the less gutted of the both of you at your missed moment. “Let me get you dressed, okay?” he says. “You’re too sulky. It wouldn’t have even been that good.” 
“How rude.” 
His teasing continues. “I’m serious. I haven’t been with anyone since that girl in Vegas–”
“What girl in Vegas?” 
“–and anyways,” he says, tilting your head back, his smile both playful and adoring at once, “you shouldn’t have been on top.” 
“Spencer,” you laugh, pressing your hand to your eyes. 
“I have a head full of statistics on female pleasure and I don’t need them to know you should be laying down when we–”
You kiss him. “That’s enough,” you say, pressing the tips of your noses together. “I get the picture.” Your arm curled around his neck feels right, and you’re heartbroken to let it slink back to your side, but you do. “I love you. I wish we’d chosen different careers.” 
“I love you, too, but I don’t. Then we never would’ve met,” he says simply.
You let out a happy breath. “I guess not.” 
Spencer hoists you off of his lap in an impressive show of strength, but then he dumps you in the mess of sheets, which is less lovely. “What do you want to wear?” he asks, springing up, heading straight for his closet. “I pressed your pinstriped dress yesterday, that would look cute with your stockings. And you won’t need a jacket, it’s hotter out there than it is in here. Why are you looking at me like that? We literally don’t have time for this.” 
You love him. You’re gonna rock his world when you get home. “The dress is fine.” You put your arms up in the air. “I’m waiting. And look! We’re half undressed already. How convenient.” 
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soaps-mohawk · 10 hours
Text
Cherry Red, Crimson Blood
Chapter 19: Daddy Issues
Summary: Your pack is back home, but things aren't quite as good as you try to make them seem. Some truths get revealed, while others remain in the dark.
Pairings: Poly 141 x reader
Word Count: 9,337 words
Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, Alternate Universe, a/b/o typical classism and sexism, angst, PTSD, flashbacks, nightmares, '09 Ghost's backstory, mentioned abuse/child abuse, still pretty heavy emotionally, language, finally some of the comfort after the hurt, plenty of fluff
A/N: This stupid fic making me cry again. I may have lied about this one not being quite as heavy as the others...it's still pretty heavy, but there are some sweet moments in there too. There is a bit of a time jump in the middle, it's roughly a week long or so. Not much, but it does cut ahead a bit just for the sake of plot and moving things along. Also yeah, I got it done earlier than expected.
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You’re warm. Sweat has begun to form in the creases of your body. You’re wrapped around something solid, something contributing to the intense warmth. The smell of leather and eucalyptus fills your nose as you nuzzle your face against soft fabric. It sends a shiver down your spine despite the heat, your eyes fluttering open. You’re staring at a blurry mass of black fabric, your brain beginning to catch up as you become more and more aware. 
Leather. Eucalyptus. Something distinctly alpha. 
Fuck. 
You’re spooning Ghost. 
He has to be asleep, otherwise he would never let you get so close to him. He would have shoved you off, pushed you back towards Johnny, who you’ve traded places with in the middle of the night. You must have gotten too hot sandwiched between the two betas and tried to escape somewhere cooler. That led to you spooning with Ghost, not that he’s much cooler than the betas. 
You can get away before he wakes up, remove yourself from his personal space before he realizes and forces you away. Avoid the shame and embarrassment of his rejection, his anger at you for crossing that boundary, even just in your sleep. Despite the fact you know that boundary is there, despite the fact you did it unintentionally, you’re not sure you could handle such a rejection right now, even from him. 
You slowly begin to withdraw your arm from around his middle, sliding it back towards your body. If you go slow enough, you should be able to untangle yourself from around him without waking him and avoid a confrontation. 
A quiet gasp is pulled from your lips as his hand wraps around your wrist, keeping you from moving. 
“Don’t.” He says quietly. 
Your heart is thudding in your chest as he tugs your arm back around him, keeping you where you are. Your exhale is shaky as you slowly relax, pressing your face against his back again. You’re not sure what to do. You were expecting him to push you away, get up in disgust and leave because you got too close, you pushed past the barrier he had placed around himself when it came to you. A barrier that got let down only while you’re training, then it’s put right back up as soon as you’re finished. Now here you are, spooning him after sleeping in the same room, the same nest. 
You wouldn’t have taken him for being a little spoon type. 
Your eyes begin to droop again as you lay there, breathing in Ghost’s scent. It’s like a comforting blanket, lulling you into a sense of relaxation, of safety, something you haven’t felt in days. For the first time your mind is quiet, not panicking about what happened, or what could happen. You don’t have to worry about your pack now, because they’re here with you again. 
You drift off to sleep again for a while, sleeping soundly in the cocoon of safety your pack has provided for you. 
You wake a while later, sticky with sweat. Your back is pressed against Ghost’s, and there’s something draped across your face. You push it away, blinking your eyes open. Johnny has starfished across the nest on his back, his mouth open as he snores. He’s stolen your bear, one arm holding it against his chest, and the other arm had been what was draped across your face. Kyle is curled up on his other side, having moved from the middle to the far side of the nest. John is missing, making your brows furrow. 
You push yourself up to sit, the air in the room almost like a sauna. You rub your eyes, trying to blink away the sleepiness. That might have been the best sleep you’ve gotten since your heat. It was likely the exhaustion taking its toll, paired with your brain finally being able to relax while surrounded by your pack.
You feel like you could lay down and sleep for another ten hours. 
You’re warm, though, sweat causing your clothes to stick to your skin. The blankets have all been kicked to the end of the mattresses, likely ditched early on in the night. You wiggle out of your sweatpants, kicking them off the end of the mattress as well, leaving you in a baggy shirt that you think is Johnny’s. 
You feel suddenly exposed sitting there, your eyes flicking around the room as a chill runs down your spine. John would have noticed if something was out of place, but he could have just brushed it off as you in his room. He had given you permission to be in his space while he was gone, if you needed to. One of them would have noticed if things were out of place in their rooms. Ghost would likely notice, since you haven’t been in his room at all. 
You lay back down on your back, staring up at the vent on the ceiling. The cover is in place, and no matter how hard you look, you can’t see a camera hiding in the gaps. It doesn’t ease your worry any as you stare up at it, wishing you had your phone so you could at least try to look for one. Though, perhaps it was better you didn’t have your phone with you. You hadn’t been brave enough to pop it open and look for anything strange hidden inside, though you wouldn’t even know where to begin to look, or what to look for. 
You should tell them. What if someone is watching you right now? 
You flinch as John appears in the doorway suddenly, five water bottles tucked against his chest. Your skin is crawling from the thought of someone watching, someone listening in on such a private moment with you and your pack. You hadn’t even thought about it last night, the stress and your fear had taken over your mind. You push yourself back up to sit as John passes Ghost a water bottle, handing one to you as well. You unscrew the cap as John places the other bottles on his desk. Johnny and Kyle still asleep, unaware of the world. 
Unaware of the danger. 
A cold shiver slips down your spine as you gulp down the water. What if someone had entered the barracks last night? You weren’t in your room, and the door wasn’t locked. Anyone could have just walked in and put up cameras again easily. 
One of the guys would have heard someone snooping around, right? You were so out of it you likely would have slept through one of them getting up. What if they were also so exhausted from their deployment they could have slept through someone breaching their space as well. Did Ghost lock the door last night? You can’t remember. 
“Alright, sweetheart?” 
Your head snaps up to where John is leaning against his desk. His brows are slightly furrowed as he stares at you, and you realize you’ve been projecting your scent. With them gone, you didn't have to worry as much. You could stink up a room without a care. It just meant more protection for you. Now that they’re back, though, you have to be more careful. You can’t just go panicking over nothing, not that you should have to panic while they’re here. 
That’s their job, right? Protect the omega? 
They can’t protect you if they don’t know there’s a threat in the first place. 
“Yeah.” You say, gulping down more water to think up an excuse quickly. “Thought I might be dreaming for a moment, that you didn't really come back.” 
John approaches you slowly, kneeling down on the end of the mattress with a quiet sigh. He has to be sore after their deployment. You can tell just by the way he’s holding his shoulders, by the stiffness in the way he moves. You can’t even begin to imagine the kinds of things they did, the kinds of things they went through over the last week. 
John takes your hand, pressing it against his chest. He’s warm underneath the shirt, and you can feel the steady beating of his heart under your palm. “We’re real.” He says, his thumb gently stroking the back of your hand as he holds it against his chest. “We’re really here.” 
You stare at his hand where it covers yours. You’ve seen it before, many times. Scarred and rough with calluses. His knuckles are dry and just slightly bruised. Did he punch someone? Or maybe he hit it against something else. 
His hand moves, snapping you out of your thoughts. You fight the urge to flinch as he cups your cheek, his thumb brushing your skin. “You’re thinking too much.” 
You swallow thickly. “Well, I didn’t have much to do this last week besides think.” 
A smile tugs at the corner of his lips. “We’ll try to make life more interesting for you, then.” He leans forward, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Now, let’s get these two muppets up for breakfast.” 
He pushes himself back up to stand, staring down at Johnny and Kyle, still sleeping. You shift onto your hands and knees, crawling over to Johnny before swinging a leg over to straddle his stomach. You lean forward, planting your hands on either side of his face, his breath catching as he begins to wake up, sensing a disturbance. You stare down at him, watching his eyes flutter before they crack open. The haze of sleep leaves his blue eyes, clarity coming back to him quickly as his lips begin to lift in a grin as he stares up at you. 
“Didnae expect tae wake up to such a sight.” He says, voice thick with sleep as his hands come to rest on your bare thighs. “A beautiful woman on top of me? I must’ve died and gone tae heaven in my sleep.” 
“Even better,” You say, leaning down closer. “Because I’m real.” 
“That ye are.” He says, slowly dragging his hands up your legs, pushing the shirt up as he goes. 
Ghost pushes himself off the mattress, leaving the room so quickly he nearly knocks his shoulder against the doorframe. A frown pulls at your brows as you watch him go, slowly pushing yourself back up to sit on Johnny’s stomach. Guilt starts to well up in you as you stare at the empty doorway. You hadn’t meant to make him uncomfortable. 
“Don’t mind him, kitten.” Johnny says, pushing himself up to sit, sliding you backwards into his lap. “He’s still miffed he didn’t get a greetin’ yesterday.” 
“Oh,” You say, blinking in surprise. You hadn’t even thought about greeting Ghost in that moment. You had been so desperate for your alpha, and then swept up by the betas, it hadn’t even crossed your mind to acknowledge Ghost. “I didn’t-” 
“It’s not yer fault.” Johnny says, wrapping his arms around you. “He hasnae been the most...open with ye. It’s his own damn fault for it.” 
“Oh, well, I’ll be sure to give him a big hug when he comes back in.” You say. 
“Please do.” Kyle says, rubbing his eyes where he’s laying next to you. “I’ll pay to see his reaction.” 
All three of you burst out laughing, Johnny pressing his forehead against yours. “Missed ye, kitten.” 
“Not as much as I missed you.” You say, pouting. 
Johnny chuckles, pressing a quick kiss to your lips. His hands slide to your hips as he presses another soft kiss to your lips, and then another. 
“Let me get in on some of that.” Kyle says, pushing himself up to sit. He grips your chin in his hand, turning your face to his before pressing his lips to yours. 
His kiss takes your breath away, deeper and more passionate than Johnny’s had been. You hum against his lips as Johnny’s grip on your waist tightens. 
“Christ almighty.” Johnny breathes, staring at you and Kyle as you kiss. 
“Alright, you three.” John says as the air in the room starts to turn musky with arousal. “Let’s feed our omega first before we get too carried away.” 
Kyle pulls away from you, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead. 
“Can we...eat in here again?” You ask, wrapping an arm around Johnny’s shoulders as you turn slightly to look up at John. You had almost forgotten about his presence, caught up in the attention from your betas. The thought of him watching the three of you has a different kind of thrill racing down your spine. 
“Of course.” John says, bending down to kiss you. 
Both Johnny and Kyle groan at the sight of their pack alpha kissing you, Johnny’s cock twitching in his boxers beneath you. You press a kiss to Johnny’s cheek after John pulls away from you before pushing yourself up to stand. You stretch your arms over your head, the shirt riding up a bit, giving both Kyle and Johnny a good view of your legs. The musky scent of arousal intensifies in the air as they stare at you, Johnny licking his lips hungrily. 
“Alright, get out of here you cheeky little minx, otherwise they’ll never get out of bed.” John says, gently guiding you from the room. 
You can’t help the smile that tugs at your lips as you leave John’s room, stepping out into the hallway. It’s much cooler outside of the room, goosebumps forming on your legs. You have half a mind to go back to your own room, but you find yourself unable to even approach the door. Memories of the fear and your panic come flooding back, the thought that someone might have snuck inside, someone might be waiting for you in there snapping to the front of your mind. It’s a ridiculous thought. Someone would have noticed if there was an intruder, if there was someone who shouldn’t be inside creeping around. 
Your gaze flickers from your door as Ghost makes his way down the hallway, his clothes changed from what he’d been wearing to sleep in. You bite your lip as you stare at him, meeting his gaze. Perhaps it's the fear driving you forward, or maybe you’ve gone slightly crazy in their absence, but you find yourself approaching him, making him stop in his tracks. 
He eyes you as you approach, your steps quick as you try to avoid chickening out. Your mind is repeating Johnny’s words over and over in your head, an explanation for Ghost’s behavior yesterday, and obvious annoyance at you and Johnny this morning. You wonder if he’ll take it as a threat as you get closer to him, if he might snap and defend himself. He’s completely still, not even his chest moving. He’s watching you like a predator watches its prey, waiting for your next move. 
It’s like hugging a tree as you wrap your arms around his waist. He’s stiffer than a board as you hug him, resting your face on his chest. Leather and eucalyptus and musk all float around you as you press close to him, his scent enveloping you in a hug, even if his body doesn’t follow suit. 
“What are you doing?” He asks, his voice rumbling deep in his chest. 
“Hugging you.” You say, tightening your hold around him. You’ve been this close to him before in your training, but this feels different. “I’m sorry for not greeting you on the tarmac. I wasn’t really thinking clearly at that point.” 
He lets out a quiet sigh, something you probably wouldn’t have noticed if you weren’t so close to him. You can imagine it’s a sigh of exasperation at Johnny for spilling about his feelings. “It’s fine.” He says, awkwardly patting your back. “Don’t know why you would have wanted to.” 
“Well, you are part of the pack.” You say. “That should be enough reason.” 
You nuzzle your face against his chest, his scent going straight to the back of your brain. Your omega wants to roll in it, cover herself in it until it’s all you can smell. The intensity of his scent has something in your hindbrain purring, the sound rumbling through your chest. 
Ghost puts his hands on your shoulders, pushing you back from him. You blink up at him blearily as your mind begins to clear a bit with the distance. “At least put some pants on before you completely lose it.” He grumbles. 
A small smile tugs at your lips before it falls at the thought of having to go into your room. You turn to face the door, your vision almost tunneling as you stare at it. You don’t want to open it. You don’t want to go in there. 
“Ghost?” You say quietly before he can walk away. 
He turns to look at you, his eyes squinting just slightly as he frowns. “What?” 
“Will you...will you open my door for me?” You shift your weight, knowing he’s going to want a reason, an explanation for your behavior. 
He turns fully to face you, shoulders squared as he slowly approaches, suddenly on the defensive. “What is it?” 
You shake your head. “Just a feeling.” 
He steps between you and the door, wrapping his fingers around the handle before he swings it open, scanning the inside. His shoulders relax just slightly and you let out a breath of air. There’s no one inside. No one’s waiting for you. No one broke in last night. 
He takes a step back before turning to you. “Nothing.” 
You let out a sigh of relief, staring into the space that was once your nest, your safe place. You can feel Ghost’s eyes on you, waiting for an explanation for your behavior. You can’t tell him the truth, despite how easy it would be. You could confess right now, admit to what happened, what you did, the mistake you made. You could drop to your knees right now, beg for forgiveness for what you did. 
“It was hard...while everyone was gone.” You say. It’s not a lie. Not entirely. “Made me uneasy, being alone here. Kept thinking I was hearing things.” 
He doesn’t believe you. You can see it in his eyes. He knows your lying, he knows you’re withholding the truth from him. You aren’t, you just aren’t giving him the whole truth. You had felt lonely, you had been on edge even before General Shepherd arrived and your room was bugged. Being alone was hard. Harder than you thought it would be. It would have taken its toll on you, even without the stress of your space being invaded multiple times. 
You should have told someone. You should have called Dr. Keller right away. You should have never opened the door in the first place. 
“Thank you.” You say, slipping past him and entering your room. 
He stands there for a few breaths, watching you warily as you open your closet, looking for something to wear. You ignore him, acting like he’s not there, but you can’t hide the squaring of your shoulders, the stiffness of your movements. You’re not sure you could resist if he pressed, if he tried to force you to tell him. You’d spill immediately, even without him using his alpha against you. 
The thought has another chill racing down your spine. 
Your omega is on edge as you change with the door open, not caring as the guys move around, getting dressed to head out to grab breakfast for everyone. You hate how inconvenient it must be, but you still don’t think you could handle being in the mess. Not yet. Not so soon. You’ll have to eventually, otherwise they’ll think something is up, happened, and then they’ll start questioning. 
You couldn’t handle an interrogation. Especially not their disappointed and angry faces when you confess to what you did, the mistakes you made, how you allowed someone to walk in so easily. How you left so easily with a stranger. They’d never trust you again. 
They won’t trust you if you keep things from them either. 
They have to know. They have to know General Shepherd came to base and talked to you. They have to know about you meeting their superior while they were away. A high ranking General couldn’t just be on base without someone knowing, and why would he hide it? He had come to check in on your progress and how you were settling in with your pack. He would have included your pack in that questioning as well, right? Besides, there has to be cameras everywhere on base. Someone would have seen you and let them know. 
There’s no way they don’t know about it. 
You stand in the doorway of your bathroom, staring at the cabinet where the broken cameras and recording devices are hidden. They’re broken, you ensured that. They’re hidden away, buried under enough stuff no one could find them unless they were purposefully looking for something. 
You let out a breath, trying to relax as you finish your morning routine. It’s over. There’s nothing that can be done now. All you can do is try to move on, try to mend the fraying bonds with your pack, heal the sense of fear and unease surrounding your safe space. 
Maybe Dr. Keller could help. You could admit everything to her, everything that happened while she was supposed to be watching you. If you had just gone to her office that afternoon, perhaps things would have been different. She would have known, but that wouldn’t have stopped the cameras from being put up. It would have just made it easier for them. Maybe they might have finished the job properly, and you wouldn’t have even known. Even if you had called Dr. Keller, what kind of argument could she have made against a Commanding Officer? 
If you told Dr. Keller now, she’d tell your pack. She’s promised to keep everything between you confidential, but would something like this be an exception? Would she tell your pack anyway because she thinks it’s the best course of action to help you? 
You want to cry. Tears are welling in your eyes as you stare in the mirror. You hardly recognize yourself. You look tired, strung out, sickly almost. Are you not, though? Is that not how you feel? You know omegas can get sick from stress sometimes, if it gets to be too much. You don’t want to get sick. You don’t want to be more of a burden than you’re already being. They have to be so tired after their assignment, and here you are making things harder for them. 
“You alright, love?” 
You jump, letting out a shriek as you whip around to face the door of your room. Your heart is racing as you slap a hand over your mouth, staring wide-eyed at an equally surprised Kyle. You let out a breath, slowly lowering your trembling hand as you try to calm yourself. It’s just Kyle sneaking up on you. Not a stranger. 
“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you.” He says, brows pinching in a frown. 
“‘S okay.” You murmur, turning off the light before leaving the bathroom. “Was lost in thought.” 
“The others left to grab food.” Kyle says. “They’ll be back shortly.” 
You nod, trying hard not to make your trembling too visible, or give any hint at your discomfort. “Okay.” 
You stare at him as he leans against the doorframe. He hasn’t entered your room. He’s still standing in the doorway. The thought has a lump forming in your throat. Your bonds have frayed so much he doesn’t even feel comfortable entering your space anymore. There’s a wall up again, and you’re only forcing it higher and higher. 
“Come on.” He says, holding his hand out to you. “Let’s go to the rec room.” 
You take his offered hand, letting him pull you from your room. The door clicks closed behind you as you let him lead you down the hallway and away from the place that’s become fuel for your nightmares. 
Kyle sits down on the couch, pulling you down on his lap. You wrap your arm around his neck as he wraps his arms around you, enveloping you in his warmth and scent. 
“I’m sorry for startling you.” He says softly, bringing your other hand to his lips so he can press a kiss to your wrist. 
“It’s not your fault.” You say, leaning your head against his shoulder. “Been on edge since everyone left.” 
“I bet.” Kyle leans his cheek against the top of your head. “We’re here now. We’re gonna fix that.” 
“What happens when you have to leave again?” You ask. 
“You won’t be alone again, that’s for sure.” A different voice says. 
You nearly jump out of Kyle’s lap as John appears in the doorway of the rec room, Johnny and Ghost right behind him. Kyle’s arms are the only thing keeping you steady as your heart nearly beats out of your chest. You’re not sure how much more you can take, intentionally or unintentionally. 
“I spoke with Kate this morning.” John says as he sets the food he’s carrying on the coffee table. “We’re going to do everything in our power to avoid having you left alone again. At least one of us will be staying behind with you from now on.” 
Your brows pinch a little. Is that why he had been absent from the nest earlier? You’re not quite sure what to feel. On one hand you’re relieved at the thought of not having to be alone again, but on the other hand, you don’t want to disrupt their lives, their jobs. You wonder just how hard he had to fight to even get Kate to agree to something like this. 
You also feel a bit afraid that they know, they figured out what had happened and that’s the reason they don’t trust to leave you alone again. You’ll make another stupid mistake or another risky decision that might cause you actual harm next time. 
Kyle eases you off his lap and onto the couch beside him. Johnny sits on your other side, squishing you between them as a tray is passed into your hands. You don’t feel very hungry as you stare down at the food, but you know after a meager dinner last night, you need to eat. You won’t be doing you or your pack any favors by being hungry. 
It’s quiet in the rec room as you eat. It’s almost eerie how silent it is, aside from the occasional scrape of silverware on the trays. You begin to float back into the time when they were gone, the haunting silence that had settled over the barracks in their absence. Everything had seemed so still, not peaceful, but more like the very walls were holding their breath. 
Perhaps it was in anticipation for what was to come. Perhaps somehow the very walls knew they would be beached, the safety they once promised would be upended. 
Or maybe you’ve just gone crazy. 
You shift forward on the couch, careful not to tip your tray over as you grab the remote from the coffee table, turning the TV on. 
“Finally! I couldnae handle the silence much longer.” Johnny exclaims, letting out a relieved sigh. 
The corners of your lips pull up in a smile as you pass the remote off to him, letting him search for something bearable to watch on early morning TV. You’re glad at least you weren’t alone in your distaste for the silence. You curl up closer to Gaz, reminding yourself that it’s not a dream, that they really are here. They really did come back. 
Now you just have to move on and put the nightmare of what happened behind you. 
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As the days pass, things begin to return to normal. The guys start their normal routine of training and running drills almost immediately. To avoid being stuck in the barracks alone, you ask to go with them, blaming it on the distance and your need to be clingy still. At first you were afraid someone would take advantage of the barracks being empty again, but every search has come up empty handed. No more cameras, no more recording devices. 
Whoever it was who planted them must have given up, or perhaps the risk of doing it with the entire pack back on base was too high. 
Despite this fact, you spend the least amount of time in your room as possible. Even when you can’t go to watch them train or run drills, you spend your time in John’s room, or in the rec room. At night you rotate between John, Kyle, and Johnny, opting to sleep with them over spending a night alone in your room. 
As you discussed, you begin seeing Dr. Keller twice a week. You’re not quite sure what she told John to convince him it was necessary, but whatever it was, it hadn’t given away any of your secrets. It probably hadn’t taken much to convince him to say yes, given your current state and his worry about you. 
You know he’s worried. You can see it when he looks at you, like you might snap if he stares too hard. You’ve seen the way his hands twitch when Johnny holds you too tightly or gets too rough in his affection, like he’s worried you might shatter.
It’s reassuring to see the distance has not just affected you. Johnny holds you tighter than he used to, Kyle stands closer to you like he’s trying to fuse you both into one. Even Ghost has started hovering closer, using his hands to steer you and guide you when you’re around others that aren’t part of your pack. 
You’ve started eating in the mess again, knowing you can only avoid it for so long before they’ll start getting suspicious and asking questions. You still feel paranoid, being around the other soldiers on base. You can’t help but be suspicious that it was one of them that planted the cameras, that it was one of them that tried to get into your room that night. Who would willingly breach such sacred ground and invade an omega’s space like that, you couldn’t even begin to guess.  
Sure, some of them still stare at you, but most of them now ignore your existence. You’re no longer a spectacle, not after a few weeks on base, not that you’re a claimed omega now. 
That won’t stop some alphas. 
Going up against your pack, though? That would take one hell of a cocksure alpha. 
Just like the one that invaded your safe space. 
It had to have been an alpha. Sure, that beta soldier had entered the barracks, but to go so far as to put up cameras and try to come back and get into your room? That takes a special kind of audacity, something only an alpha could possess. 
So life has gone back to normal, or at least as normal as it can be after what happened. 
The return to normal hasn’t all been good, though. Your nightmares have returned, coming on quickly as soon as you began to settle into routine again. The real nightmare has passed, so now your mind has to plague itself with nightmares that have already happened. Things that can’t even hurt you anymore. 
You start avoiding sleep again, despite your work with Dr. Keller, too afraid to risk having a nightmare in front of one of them again. The last thing you need is to have to spill about your nightmare. You might not be able to stop and wind up spilling about what happened while they were gone too. 
Unfortunately, things don’t work that way. They never work that way for you. 
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Someone is screaming. Your body feels like it’s being constricted by a snake, crushing and painful as you’re clutched desperately against your mother’s chest. She’s the one that’s screaming, the sound hurting your ears. Your face is pressed against her shoulder, into the softness of her sweater. It’s the pink one, the one she made. Her favorite. 
There’s knocking coming from somewhere, a door handle jiggling. It’s locked, but you can hear someone trying to get in, multiple people based on the voices from the other side. You don’t know who it is. You don’t recognize any of them. You can’t even make out what it is their saying, if they’re saying anything at all. The voices sound more like the unintelligible roar of monsters, the ones you used to be afraid of as a child. 
Everything is muted by the blood pulsing in your ears, drowning out everything but the jiggling of the door handle. Someone’s trying to break in. Someone is breaking in. You can make out the thuds against the door, the desperate attempts to get inside, to get to you. 
The arms around you tighten, pressing your face harder into the soft yarn of the sweater. You inhale the familiar scent of brown sugar and vanilla, the scent surrounding you and enveloping you in a sense of safety. Nothing can get you. Nothing can hurt you. 
That’s not true, though. You know it’s not. 
There’s a bang as the door is finally forced open, the screaming getting louder as footsteps enter the room. You’re shaking, trembling in your mother’s arms as she clings to you desperately, just like you used to cling to her when you thought there was a monster under your bed. 
The monsters were real, you realize as you desperately cling to your mother, just as tightly as she’s clinging to you. 
Hands grab at you, claws digging into your skin, tentacles wrapping around your body, trying to pull you from your mother’s grip. You can hear her pleading, begging, screaming at them not to take you, not to separate you. You’ll never see her again if they manage to pull you from her. They’ll take you away, hide you away, keep you from the warm comfort of her embrace. 
You let out a scream of your own as you’re yanked from her grasp, your arms reaching for her as the monsters pull you from the source of your safety and comfort. The last thing you see is your mother’s grief stricken face before the door slams in your face. 
A scream tears from your lips as you’re pulled from sleep suddenly. You’re falling, hitting the tile floor with a thud. Your shoulder cracks against the unforgiving floor, making you yelp. The blanket has tangled around your legs, rendering you immobile from the waist down. 
The frantic pounding of boots on the floor meets your ears, seconds before the four members of your pack are sprinting into the rec room. Their faces look just as frantic as their steps had been, concern laced with fear laced with worry. You hadn’t even realized they’d returned already. They had been at their afternoon drills while you stayed in the rec room watching TV, slowly succumbing to the exhaustion that’s been plaguing you. 
“What is it? What happened?” Kyle asks, moving to step forward but John beats him to it. 
“Fell off the couch.” You say, pushing yourself up to sit, wincing at the pain in your shoulder. There’s tears sliding down your cheeks despite you fighting the remnants of your terror and pain from the nightmare. 
“I think there’s more to it than that.” John says, kneeling down in front of you. 
You want to confess everything. How you haven’t been sleeping well for weeks now since your heat, how you keep having horrible nightmares about your past, what happened while they were away, how the nightmares have returned. Your breath catches in your throat as you stare at John, the tears sliding down your cheeks as you give up trying to control them. Guilt plagues you as you stare at the worried face of your alpha. He just wants to help you, he just wants to take care of you, but he can’t if you’re keeping things from him, if you’re lying to his face. 
“I had a nightmare.” You say quietly, your voice barely above a whisper. You clutch your arm to your chest, trying not to move your shoulder too much. 
John lets out a quiet sigh, his fingers lifting to press against your shoulder, feeling around the joint. You wince as he hits a tender spot, the pain sharp, but not horrible. You’ve certainly felt worse things. 
He turns to the others behind him, all of them staring at you with equally worried looks on their faces. “Get me an ice pack.” He says before turning back to you. 
He lifts you off the floor, placing you back on the couch before untangling the blanket from around your legs. Johnny grabs an ice pack as Kyle moves to sit next to you on the couch, draping his arm across the back, projecting his scent to try and help you relax. John sits on the edge of the coffee table, staring at you. Despite the worry still present on his face, his eyes are sharp. You can’t help but feel like you’re suddenly in an interrogation. They’ve done this before, probably many times, though likely not as gently as they are now. You’re terrified still at the way they shift so easily into the mindset of a soldier. You can’t even imagine what it would be like if they were serious in their interrogation of you. 
“How long have you been having nightmares?” John asks as Johnny takes a seat on the other side of you, passing you the ice pack. 
You press it against your shoulder, trying to keep your thoughts straight. You have to try not to spill anything, try not to confess to all of your sins, all of your stupid mistakes now. Your gaze drops to your lap, avoiding the looks of the two alphas staring at you. Ghost has moved to stand behind John, his arms crossed as he watches the exchange. You can feel the pressure of their gaze, the sharpness of it digging into your skin like knives. 
“A couple weeks.” You admit, unable to even think of a lie. You don’t want to lie now, not with them staring at you so intensely. They’d know. They’d be able to tell before the words even left your mouth. “Since my heat ended.” 
“Is that why you’ve been avoiding sleeping?” John asks. 
You wince at his question. Of course he noticed. Why wouldn’t he? He’s been trained to notice weaknesses in others, gauge the capabilities of his men. Of course he’d notice you’re more tired than usual, not sleeping quite as much. He probably even knew all the times you woke up in the night when you slept next to him.  
You nod, still staring at your lap, too afraid to see the disappointment in his eyes. 
“Why didn’t you say anything?” He breathes, almost sounding upset. 
You’ve made a mistake in keeping this a secret. You regret it as soon as you hear the emotion in his voice. He thinks you don’t trust them, he thinks you don’t trust your alpha. You need to tell him. You need to tell him everything, but the fear keeps you paralyzed. How much more upset will he be when you confess that you kept such a major event from him, from all of them? 
A quiet sob leaves your lips as you sit there, terrified of the reprimanding you’re sure to get. The shame burns hot in you, the reminder that you’ve disappointed them. You’ve let them down and now they won’t even trust you to tell them anything. 
“We’re not mad at you, sweetheart.” Gaz says, shifting his arm so it’s wrapped around your shoulders, his thumb brushing the hand that’s holding the ice pack to your shoulder. Johnny shifts just slightly closer to you, both of the betas projecting their scent around you, trying to cocoon you in their comforting presence. 
“I just want to know why you felt it necessary to hide something like that from us.” John says, his voice softer than it had been before. 
“I didn’t want to bother you.” You find the words spilling out before you can stop them. Maybe it’s the exhaustion or the fear or your brain finally getting tired of holding everything in. This is your moment to let out a little steam, to finally release some of the pressure that’s been building. “My nightmares are nothing compared to the ones you all probably have and it’s stupid and I shouldn’t even be having them, it’s been years since the last time I dreamed like this, and I don’t even know why they’ve come back now.” 
“No nightmares are stupid.” Ghost says, stepping up closer to the coffee table. 
“We’re here to help you.” John says, leaning his elbows on his knees. “We can’t do that if you don’t tell us what’s going on.” 
Guilt burns through you at his words. He’s right. You should be honest with them, tell them everything. They can’t help you, they can’t keep you safe even from the things that plague your mind if they don’t know about them. 
“What are the dreams about?” John asks, blue eyes boring holes into you. 
You feel small under his gaze, like you're a child again, facing down your father after doing something wrong, after making a mistake. You have made a mistake, though. You’re facing the consequences of your mistake right now. 
“The day I left for the institute.” You say quietly, voice hardly more than a whisper but you know they heard you in the silence of the barracks. It feels threatening, like the walls are silently vowing to tell the truth if you don’t. 
Your pack shifts a bit at your words, sharing looks amongst themselves. They have to know what it’s like, or at least heard stories about the trauma of being pulled from your pack to be taken to a strange place, surrounded by others just like you. 
“What happened that day?” Ghost asks, staring down at you. 
You can feel his gaze piercing into you, screaming the silent threat that you’re going to tell them, no matter how long they have to sit here and wait. You don’t have a choice anymore. You have to tell them. 
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You’re warm. The ice pack pressed against your forehead does little to soothe the burning under your skin. You’re thirsty, the two empty plastic bottles on your nightstand were not enough to ease the dryness in your mouth. 
Hands shift the ice pack, pressing it against your cheek. Your mother is there, seated next to your bed diligently. She’s crying, tears sliding down her cheeks, quiet sniffles breaking the silence in the house. 
“I’m sorry.” She whispers, bringing your hand to her lips. “I’m so sorry,” She apologizes, as if it’s her fault, as if she brought this onto you. 
She gasps quietly as the door opens, her back stiffening as your father enters. His face is stern, mouth almost twisted with disgust as he stares at you. It feels wrong, having him invade your space. If you’d had the energy, perhaps you would have been brave enough to protest his presence. 
“Come on.” His voice is gruff, worn down from years of smoking and yelling. “Get up.” 
“No, please-” Your mother attempts to reason with him, but he won’t have it. 
“Shut up and sit down.” He snaps at her, and she has no choice but to sit back and be silent. His voice has something tingling in the back of your neck, almost like a warning. There’s nothing you can do, though. You’re far too weak. 
He moves to the side of your bed, grabbing your arm and pulling you up from the comfort of your blankets. The ice pack falls from your head, your skin prickling with warmth almost like it hadn’t been there in the first place. Your brain is sluggish as you try to comprehend what’s happening, your legs giving out as you’re forced upright. You can’t get your body to work, you can’t even force yourself to behave. You want to crawl back under your blankets and lay there for the rest of eternity. 
You whine as you’re dragged from your room, knees knocking on the floor as you attempt to get your feet under you to ease the pain in your shoulder. Your father drags you into the living room, two people you don’t recognize standing next to the front door. 
“Please, please don’t do this!” Your mother pleads with him, right on his heels as he drops you in a heap in front of them. He catches her before she can rush forward to you. How you wish you could have her arms around you again, holding you and comforting you in your confusion. 
“Enough.” Your father snaps at her, looking down at you with disgust. “She’s no daughter of mine.” 
You blink up at him, the words seering through the haze, registering in your foggy mind. Tears gather in your eyes as you stare up at your parents, your siblings watching tensely from the living room as the scene unfolds before them. 
“No, no!” You cry as hands close around your arms, lifting you from the floor. “Mama!” You scream, trying to fight them as you’re pulled from your home, your safe space, your family, your pack. 
Your mother is yelling, fighting against your father’s hold around her, but it’s useless. He’s stronger. He wants this, so no one is going to stop him. She’ll pay later for her actions, her disagreement with him. You won’t be here to see it, though. You’re leaving and you won’t be coming back. 
The last thing you see as the cool air outside washes over your feverish skin is your mother’s grief stricken face before the door closes, locking you out forever. 
You’re dragged into the back of a van parked in the driveway. Two men in uniform climb in behind you before the doors are slammed shut. You curl up in the corner, sobbing uncontrollably. You want your mom, you want to be back in the safety of her arms, the warmth and comforting softness that only she can provide. 
One of the men approaches you, a needle in his hand. You whimper in fear, pressing further back into the corner as he gets closer to you. He forces you down onto your stomach, the pain brief as he injects you with the sedative before he moves back to take his seat. You curl up in a ball, quietly sobbing as the drugs begin to work, your vision going hazy before you’re forced into unconsciousness. 
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“I woke up hours later at the institute.” You say, wiping at the tears streaming down your cheeks, but it does little against the cascade of tears falling from your eyes. “Never saw or spoke to my family again. They didn’t even try to reach me, and I know my dad was the reason why. He hated me as soon as I presented.” 
“Fucking hell.” Ghost breathes, hands curled into fists at his sides. You can smell the intensity of his scent above everything, the burning ozone of anger rolling off of him. It makes you wince, even though you know it’s not directed at you. 
“That’s why he wanted to send you so quickly.” Kyle says, his arm tightening around you. 
“How did he get you into FIOT so soon after your presentation?” John asks. 
You shrug your good shoulder. “I don’t know. I didn’t even know he’d be sending me, much less so soon until it was happening.” 
“Christ,” Johnny breathes, gently taking your hand in his. “No wonder yer havin’ nightmares, kitten.” 
“I haven’t had this nightmare since I arrived at the institute. They started there, lasted a few weeks while I adjusted to being there.” You sniffle. “Haven’t had them since, until now. Dr. Keller says it’s because I finally feel safe enough to process the trauma of it happening.” 
John sits up a little straighter. “Is that why she suggested seeing you multiple times a week?” 
You nod. “We’re working on it. I asked her not to tell you, because I did plan on telling you eventually.” 
“I’m glad you told someone, at least,” He says. “And I’m glad you finally told us too. We might not be able to stop the nightmares, but at least now we can help support you in whatever way you need.” 
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” You say, squeezing Johnny’s hand slightly. He was the only one that knew you were having nightmares, but you hadn’t even confessed to him what was going on out of fear he’d tell the others. 
“It’s alright, sweet girl.” John says, leaning forward to press a kiss to your forehead. “I’m glad it finally came out and now we can help you.” He wipes the tears from your cheeks, his thumb brushing your skin gently. 
The moment is broken as your stomach growls impatiently. It’s past your normal dinner time, your confession having kept you longer than you thought it would. You hadn’t gotten in your afternoon snack either, your body having chosen to nap instead. 
A small smile tugs at John’s lips. “Hungry, love?” 
You nod. “Yeah. Didn’t get my snack.” 
“We’ll go get some food and bring it here, how does that sound?” He asks. 
You nod. “Yeah. That sounds good.” 
He pushes himself up to stand, his knees cracking as he does. You fight the urge to say something, squeezing Johnny’s hand tightly. 
“I’ll stay.” Ghost says, still looking at you. 
John looks down at you and you meet Ghost’s gaze for a moment before nodding. John presses another kiss to your head, Johnny and Kyle pressing kisses to your cheeks before they get up, leaving the rec room to get dinner for everyone. 
Ghost moves from his spot on the other side of the coffee table, sinking down at the end of the couch. You fight the urge to stare at him in surprise. You’re not sure you’ve seen him sit anywhere but in the chair the entire time you’ve been here. 
It’s silent between the two of you for a few moments, aside from the occasional sniffle from you. You wipe the remaining tears from your face, removing the melted ice pack from your shoulder, tossing it on the coffee table. This feels very familiar to you, this position. You’ve been here before, back when you punched the asshole alpha who insulted you. 
“My dad was a real asshole.” 
You turn your head slightly in surprise when Ghost break’s the silence suddenly. He’s not looking at you, his gaze distant, far away. You know that look well. You’ve seen it on him before, and also on a few omegas at the institute. You’re sure it’s graced your face as well many times. 
“He was a trad alpha, real piece of shit who couldn’t control his anger. Took it out on all of us. My mum, my brother, me.” He scoffs. “Mum took the brunt of it, but Tommy and I faced our fair share of it too. He used to bring dangerous animals home and taunted us with them. Made me kiss a snake once. He did all kinds of horrible things to us.” His voice softens a bit in a way you’ve never heard before. You’ve never seen him so vulnerable, not even when he told you about his own nightmares. “I’ve never wanted an omega, because of the things my dad did to my mum. I never wanted a pack either, but...maybe something deep down in me did because I said yes to this whole experiment.” 
The silence hangs heavy between you for a moment. You’re not sure what to say, or if you can even manage to say anything in response to what he’s just told you. You had no idea what his life was like growing up, except that he was also a purebred. 
“I was always too afraid the cycle would continue, that I’d turn out to be another piece of shit, just like my dad.” He says. 
“I don’t think you’re a piece of shit.” You say, your voice cracking a bit. 
He huffs out a breath. “Thanks.” He stares down at the coffee table, leaning his elbows on his knees. “Did your dad ever hit you?” 
You shake your head. “Never directly. He got rough sometimes, grabbing us, squeezing too hard, yanking us around. He never stopped my brothers when they got too rough, though. They liked to wrestle, and I wanted to join because I wanted to spend time with my cooler older brothers. Sometimes they’d forget I was smaller than them and I got hurt a couple times. He never reprimanded them when it happened. I think he enjoyed it more than anything. He mostly just yelled a lot.” 
“Trad alphas only speak the language of yelling and violence.” He says. “If my father wasn’t screaming at us, his fists were getting the message across. Sometimes he’d do both at the same time.” Ghost shakes his head. “Real pieces of shit, trad alphas. Makes me sick, the kinds of things they believe in.” 
“I’m sorry about what happened to you.” You say, fishing for anything to follow up his confession with. Nothing feels right, nothing feels like enough. 
He shrugs. “It happened. It’s in the past. He died a few years ago. Left nothing but a stain behind.” 
“What happened to your mom and brother?” You ask. 
“Tommy got into drugs for a while, but he cleaned up and got married. Mum lives with him now. Still doing well.” He says. 
You’re surprised by his words. You’ve always heard that omegas don’t last long without their alphas. But what if their alpha was an asshole? Is the relief of their death enough to scrub out the grief of losing your alpha? 
You stare at the side of Ghost’s head, your heart thudding in your chest. You feel sorry for him, but at the same time, you’re grateful he shared this with you. You have much more in common than you thought you did with the giant aloof alpha. Maybe, perhaps, this can be a way for the two of you to grow closer, maybe you finally have common ground that you can share with him to get him to open up to you more. You know he wants it. The revelation of his disappointment at your lack of greeting, and the fact he let you hug him is enough to tell you he wants something more with you. It might never breach the realm of romance or even a casual fling, but you can’t deny the bond is there. You can feel it, the tugging in your chest as you look at him, the butterflies in your stomach when he puts a hand on your back to steer you through the crowd in the mess. 
You want him to want you. You want him to open up, to peel the layers back and bare his very soul to you. He’s already started. This confession is the beginning of that kind of bond between you. That he trusts you enough to tell you this makes something flutter in your chest. 
If only he knew you were keeping something worse from him. 
You could tell him. Confess to him right here, right now. Spill it all in this sort of mock confessional, this mock therapy session between you. He’ll be mad, but perhaps after everything that’s transpired today, he’ll be lenient. You’re not sure you could say the same about John, though. 
“Ghost, I-” You start but he cuts you off. 
“Simon.” 
“What?” You breathe, blinking in shock as he turns to face you. 
“My name. It’s Simon.” 
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@redwites @kattiieee @141trash @lothiriel9 @dillybuggg
@beebeechaos @konigsmissedbeltloop @kaoyamamegami @idkkkkkkk8363 @wallwriterstuff
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vampqueers · 3 days
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in that chunky episode where so much of the mystery became clear I honestly think the best part was Kristen's talk with Bucky. Kristen has been where he has. even telling him the alarm system that was instilled into her was wrong was such a moving and touching moment. In that moment I think we really see Ally see what Kristen would have been like had she not died in the corn cuties battle.
And further more we see what Kristen doesn't want for her brother. Kristen doesn't try to convert Bucky to Casandra but just lets him know there is more out there, there is more than what we were taught growing up. It's not something to be scared of or run away from, it's good to have these questions, and it's okay to not have answers to them. Kristen really sees what could have been with her in her brother. Kristen opening up that space between her and Bucky really shows him that no matter what he decides, she is going to be there for him, no matter what questions he may have, he can find comfort in them with her.
Telling Bucky that he can stay with Helio while wanting to ask questions further proves that Helio doesn't have to stay the way he is. He can be shaped, and if Bucky is having these thoughts, others are too. Kristen opened Bucky up to a deeper relationship with those around him and to Helio if he chooses to stay with him. Kristen proves yet again with this talk with Bucky that she is THAT cleric. St. Kristen Applebees is the kind, and loving person that Bucky and many others like him need.
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konigsblog · 2 days
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older boyfriend!könig x public sex...
tw/cw; public sex (exhibitionism), sex inside of a car, afab!f!reader, age difference/gap. 18+
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könig can't handle his over protectiveness when it comes to his beloved, sweet girlfriend. he'll wait outside while you're at a college party, parked in a parking lot not far from the building.
könig will jerk off the entire time while fantasising about you, keeping a close eye on his phone in case it lights up with a notification that you're ready to leave and crawl into his arms again. you don't know that he's been here the entire time, if you did, you'd accuse him of stalking you when in reality he just cares. you're just used to the playboy treatment that other boys give you, könig protects his loved ones, like a man should.
he'll drag you to the back of the car, his hard cock aching and his heavy balls tight. he'd been stroking himself until his wrist began aching, fantasising about having sex with you inside of the car, where anyone could see. he twists his hand around his dick while scrolling through his camera roll and admiring your soft body in the lewd pictures you send him, in various different positions with different toys stuffing your holes. könig will convince you to bounce on his achingly sore boner with a tender and loving kiss to your cheek, his scarred and calloused fingertips spreading your folds.
“please, sweetheart— just relax, been thinkin’ about you the entire time, mäusi.”
he whispers quietly, his voice hoarse and strained and filled with lust, his thick, large cock twitching at the familiar, addictive texture of your velvety walls around his girthy length.
his thick tip drips with arousal and pleasure, the veins on his shaft more noticeable and prominent the harder he becomes, with his meaty cock throbbing and pulsating inside of your warm wetness, the sloppiness and the mess created between your supple thighs. your sore cunt aches at the thickness of his cock while you crave more, another inch. you didn't expect to be split open on his lap with his fingers nestled in your hair, his other hand kneading with the flesh on your hip.
“smell so good, little one. you’d smell even better with my cologne on your body, wouldn't you agree? let everyone know who owns you, my precious angel.”
he hisses out and buries his face in the crook of your neck, a playful grin plastered on his face as he bounces his darling up and down while you weep, guiding you through it with his thumb wiping away at the tears that roll down your soft cheeks.
you'll drive home in comfortable silence, your panties wet and damp with könig's milky load oozing out of you and staining your underwear, your body longing for his sensual, calming touch.
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lnlightning81 · 2 days
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Ferrari World Champion
Summary: Max was your best friend since you were little kids but then you swapped teams and Max cut you off
Pairing/s: Max Verstappen x Sargeant!Reader, Logan Sargeant x sister!reader, Charles Leclerc x Sargeant!Reader
Word Count: 2.2k
Warning/s: Swearing
Based on this request Masterlist Max Verstappen Masterlist Taglist
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After moving to Europe with her brother, she decided that racing was still something that she wanted to continue doing. Being able to find sponsors helped your family as they couldn’t afford both you and Logan to continue karting. Logan also managed to get a few sponsors, which helped even more. 
Being a couple years older than Logan meant that you spent most of your childhood racing alongside the likes of Max Verstappen, Charles Leclerc, and Lando Norris. It meant that you grew up beside some of the current best drivers in the world. 
You’d been taken into Alpha Tauri in 2021 alongside Yuki Tsunoda. They’d taken a huge risk in two rookies much like Haas had done the same year. Finishing in the top ten in most races except where there were mechanical issues, there was a huge chance you’d be offered the second seat in Red Bull beside Max. 
You and Max had been stuck at the hip for many years. You started on the Red Bull junior team before moving up to being a reserve driver and finally taking the Alpha Tauri team. You and Max were still joined at the hip going to team events together, doing team challenges together. 
But now, in 2024, your contract with Alpha Tauri , newly Visa Cash App RB, was over for the twenty-twenty five seasons and beyond. There was a huge chance that you’d be in the Red Bull seat except for when you were called into Franz’s office to see Christian standing there. 
“You’ve worked really well in the seat for the last three years, but unfortunately we’re not giving you the Red Bull seat” That was all you heard along with Daniel's name. Your heart shattered knowing that you were just being offered a contract extension for VCARB and not a new contract with Red Bull. Just as well, your manager had told you that there were other offers waiting for you after you found out what was happening with your current seat. 
After your meeting with Christian and Franz, you got on the phone to your manager talking through all the offers that were awaiting your decision when he stopped at Ferrari. That was your choice. All these mid table teams wanted you, but Ferrari was leaning for the new top position, and you wanted to win. 
Except that may have been the worst choice ever. Max cut off your relationship, and you avoided each other around Monaco and the paddocks. That was from the end of last season. Now it was the middle of this season, and normally, on your way to the Monaco Grand Prix, you and Max would go together. 
This year, Charles had offered to drive you to the Paddock, which you had accepted because you drove alone once, and it was terrifying. This year alone felt different. It felt like your rookie year except worse. Feeling out of place as a rookie felt completely different to feeling out of place as the person currently leading the drivers championship. 
Walking through the paddock, Charles tried to cheer you up as he had been for many of the races. Logan had also tried his best to cheer up his older sister, but nothing was working. You were missing a part of yourself - Max - your other half, your funnier half. Now, he wouldn’t even defend you during drivers conferences when a reporter said something highly untrue. Charles or Logan being the only ones to defend you. 
Max avoided your eyes as he walked through the Paddock, and you just dipped in between the motorhomes to avoid him, knowing that if you were to look at him you’d cry. Even fans had noticed that you were no longer as close as you used to be as your celebrations on the podiums never involved each other. 
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A few months later, you were still winning the Drivers Championship, and it was a championship that was going to go down to the final race. Max is only two or three points behind you. Bets were through the roof and not only between fans, but the drivers had started their own pool in the grid. 
Many drivers did not want a part within the bet with the risk of losing a friend. However, Logan had found you sitting on the ground behind the Ferrari hospitality to avoid cameras. A body sitting next to you, causing you to turn and see who it was turning back to look at the ground when you saw the Williams shirt. 
“Oh so you’re not even looking at your little brother now?” He asked, and you rolled your eyes 
“Logan please. I’m not in the mood” you huffed, and he chuckled a little 
“Tough. I don’t care. Let’s go” He hummed, dragging you to your feet and through to the ice cream stand he had found. 
“This isn’t on my diet. I don’t want it” You turned around, walking back to the Ferrari motorhome without him. 
Life hurts, your heart hurts, and more importantly, you feel really alone in this world. It was hard being the only female driver on the grid, but that wasn’t even the hardest part. The hardest part is that most people stuck with Max and stopped talking to you. 
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It was now the last race of the F1 season. You needed to win this to win the championship, but Max was in the same position. Starting on pole meant you had that little extra boost, and with a bad qualifying for Max, he meant he was starting P3 behind Charles, who was under the orders to keep Max behind him for as long as possible. Normally he’d go against team orders like that, but he wanted you to win the championship. To see your smile again. The one he saw for so many years as you karted together. 
The race started brilliantly, gaining a 14-second lead by the last turn as Charles kept everyone in a DRS chain or two
“Verstappen behind” your engineer told you
“Fuck” You muttered back and suddenly your enginner was back in your ear just as you took a sip of water 
“VSC. Virtual Safety Car. Bottas off the track” He explained
“Fuck sake” You exclaimed probably a little too loudly 
“Sorry Y/N” Before you knew it, a full safety car was behind you with only a couple laps left after it went into the pits. You knew you had to get away quicker than Max. Everyone in motorsports wants to win the Drivers Championship, but when you’re this close without a championship, it would make you even more upset to lose it to Max when you’re winning by such few points. 
And then it was in front of you. The chequered flag except Max was right next to you, passing the line at the same point as you to the human eye. 
“Did we do it? Please tell me we did it” you begged 
“They’re checking Y/N. But for now we’re being told for you to complete your cooldown lap” you groaned, waving as you drove around the track on your cooldown lap. You took a drink as you waited for the FIA to come back with the results. Did Max really finish that close to you? 
“That’s P1 Y/N. Pull into Parc Ferme” He calmly said as you cheered very loudly 
“We did it! Oh my god. I’m going to cry. We won!” You shouted across the radio as your engineer laughed 
“I think Fred might be crying on his way there” You laughed as you pulled up in the P1 spot. Getting out of the car after removing the wheel, you didn’t even put the wheel back in the correct spot before you crouched on the front of your car crying. 
Not only had you won the race, but you’d won the drivers championship. Never in a million years did you think you’d win the championship. Walking over to get weighed, it felt like a dream until you jumped into the arms of your team who were all cheering loudly, some even crying with you. You looked over at Max, who had finished P2 before Charles wrapped his arms around you 
“Congrats Champ. You deserve the win. You’ve been through so much, and I couldn’t think of a better world champion for this year” Charles helped to take your helmet off as he stopped your hands due to how much they were shaking 
“Y/N/N. Don’t cry” Logan whispered, wrapping his arms around you tightly. Your family couldn’t make the race, but having Logan here was all you needed. He’d been there through the highs and lows of not only your racing career but life. 
After your interviews, you ended up stepping onto the first place podium. Charles and Fred sprayed you with whatever liquid was in the bottles due to it being Abu Dhabi as the tears fell down your face again. Charles is taking your bottle and wrapping you in a hug. 
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Being sat in your hotel room with a hangover, you didn’t expect anyone to be knocking on your door today. Having spent most of the night partying with your team and most of the grid, you didn’t want much social interaction. Expecting it to be Charles or Logan, you didn’t look before opening the door. 
You almost threw the door shut as you saw Max standing on the other side of it. His foot stopped the door as you pushed it shut
“Y/N please listen to me. I need you to hear me out” He sighed, and you shook your head 
“It’s been over a year, and I’m hungover. I’m not listening to anyone, especially you” You spat 
“Seeing you so upset over something I did killed me. I couldn’t look you in the eyes, knowing that you were hurting because of what I did. You’re the champion of the world now Y/N and I’m so sorry about everything I’ve done. I was just too stubborn to apologise because I never thought I’d have to imagine a day that I wasn’t racing on the same team as you. I know VCARB and Alpha Tauri aren’t exactly the same team, but it was close enough. Then Daniel took back the Red Bull seat, and then the next day, you were with Ferrari, and I was hurt. I have no reason to be hurt because it’s your life and not mine, but Liefde, you have been the most important person in my life since we were little kids. Having Logan shout at me most days because you were hurting that’s something I never want to have to go through again. He’s kinda scary for an American” He explained, and you wiped your eyes as you cried, laughing a little at Max’s American comment. 
Max’s arms wrapped around you as soon as he realised you were crying again because of him. He realised that he never wanted to ever make you cry again, and he’d make sure you never did because of him. 
“Congrats World Champ. Don’t cry, I got you” He whispered as his head ducked next to you. His words made you cry more as you realised that they were the words you said to him all those years ago when he won his first World Champion. 
“If anyone else was to take that number one I’d forever want it to be you. You’re such an inspiration to so many women and little girls around the world and to me. Staying strong even though I was being a prick I’d never forgive myself if I was in your position but I do know that this past year has been hell without you and I’d love to have you back as my best friend” You pulled away from Max looking up at him. 
“You’ve got to work for it, Max. You really hurt me and I’ve missed you just as much but I can’t just let you go back into that number one spot in my life again just as easily as you’ve let me into that spot for you” You sighed and he nodded 
“I’ll do whatever it takes to get you back to being my best friend” He smiled 
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Y/NSargeant
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Y/NSargeant I don't have any words, honestly. Thank you to everyone who has supported me over the last few years. @ Scuderiaferrari , thank you so much for giving me the chance to even compete this season.
tagged : charlesleclerc, scuderiaferrari liked by maxverstappen1, charlesleclerc, scuderiaferrari and 6,234,135 others
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LoganSargeant: I love you so much. Thank you for being the best older sister someone could ask for and such an inspiration to so many people, including me ↳ Y/NSargeant: Oh, Logs, you're making me cry
maxverstappen1: Congrats, world champ. Don't cry, I got you. Liked by Y/NSargeant
charlesleclerc: We make a great team. Congrats champion ↳ Y/NSargeant: Thank you so much, Charles. I appreciate you making me so welcome this year even if I wasn't the best teammate most of the year.
user1: Y/N you are so inspirational to so many people. I'm freaking out not only about your win but Max commenting
user2: Y/N, you're so inspirational to so many people, including myself. I started karting when you were a rookie, and I'm so glad I got to see you make history in so many ways.
user3: OH MY GOD. MAX COMMENTED I'M CRYING ARE THE BEST FRIENDS BACK TOGETHER AGAIN?!?!!
user4: CONGRATS WORLD CHAMP. I'M CRYING. I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE THE DAY
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moondirti · 24 hours
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featuring: ghoap x nanny! f!reader. parenthood. adoption processes. fluff. slice of life. reader is given an age range
hear me out: simon and johnny transferring to reserve duty – i.e., serving the military on a part-time basis rather than being on active call – once they make the decision to become dads. it comes after a long period of deliberation (and healing on simon's part), but after they're absolutely sure that they want to start this next phase of life together, they call price to get it sorted.
who is thrilled for them, naturally, but warns that they still have a specialised commitment to the task force. if he needs them, then they best make sure they're there. the world isn't a better place yet, and no one can do what the pair does.
fine by them.
so it begins. instead of the complex and ethical choices that come with surrogacy, they opt for adoption and work with an attorney to facilitate the logistics. months of searching come up with a young mother, whose unwanted pregnancy has interfered with her life thus far, and is unwilling to make the further sacrifice that comes with keeping the baby. they must be more understanding, or otherwise less overbearing, than the other candidates – because two months later, they're in a hospital waiting room, anxiously lingering to meet the new addition to their family.
isla riley-mactavish. named after the river where johnny realised he'd be much happier with his lieutenant by his side.
the first few months are bliss. exhausting bliss, but a type of contentment that neither man has known since they first confessed to one another. isla's fussy through nights but they take turns settling her down, and if they have military duties to attend to then it's usually never at the same time. she's spoiled rotten – not just by them, but by the captain and gaz as well, who visit more often than not with bags full of toys they have nowhere to put. a little princess in the eyes of everyone who knows her.
by month five, she's teething and can hold her head up unsupported. simon reads somewhere that it's one of the most pivotal points in her development.
of course the call has to come then.
in the middle of the night, no less, and loud enough to wake her up from her crib. johnny scrambles to calm the bairn down as simon answers, price's grave voice crackling in from the other end. expected to be a long haul. a month at least. state security's at serious risk here, simon. i wouldn't ask you to come out otherwise.
and they made a promise. no matter how much it aches them to leave their darling girl behind.
rdv on base in a week.
he knows that one week is a matter of grace. he can feel the captain itching to hatch the operation as soon as possible, but has staved off to give the boys time to order their affairs. that doesn't mean simon's happy with the timeline, though. seven days is not nearly enough to find a sitter they can trust, especially given their own hindrances.
regardless, they send a job posting for a live-in, 24/7 nanny to close friends – no way in hell are they advertising it to the open internet – and hours later, johnny's sister lets them know of a girl who substitutes at the same primary school she works at. a real darling, apparently. honest 'n' stowed oot of energy, th' weans love her, and she haes experience with bairns too!
promising, but word of mouth isn't enough. they get a name and ask laswell to run a thorough background check. to their relief, it comes out squeaky clean. no arrests, no dui's, no shady travel history. modest socials with only a handful of followers. it's in line with what they know so far, solid enough to encourage them to reach out. so they do: just a brief email, asking what time and place would be best for a face-to-face interview.
they bring isla with them to the agreed meeting spot. a cozy cafe nestled in one of the safest parts of town. it's an early saturday morning and they're scheduled to leave in three days. so far, they've put all their eggs in this basket. johnny has to hold onto simon's hand when he notices the nerves dancing behind his partners usually void eyes. but if he were being honest with himself, he's just as scared.
they notice you as soon as they walk in.
sitting at a table for four, mug of coffee steaming as you bend over a well-loved book. despite your preoccupation, you're observant – they inch in your periphery and your head snaps up, a brilliant smile parting your lips as you spring up onto your feet. simon tallies a point on the ledger in his head. good. alert is good.
as is true for them, it's abundantly clear that you're who they're supposed to meet. johnny can't imagine anyone but a children's educator dressing like that: a gingham babydoll dress over a pair of blue tights, which carries over to the bow in your hair and is juxtaposed by the white oxford lace-ups on your feet. he startles when you extend your hand to shake his and he finds a painted fruit on each of your short nails. positively adorable. and so unlike anything they know.
simon shuffles next to him. isla reaches out from her bugaboo stroller, the colours having caught her eye.
"well hello there! aren't you just the cutest angel i've ever seen? do you like my dress?"
that's another point for immediately engaging with the object of your soon-to-be care. simon watches as you pull out a rattle from your purse, handing it over to the cooing baby. warmth blossoms in his chest, and his apprehension fizzles out in the heat. they hadn't told you they'd be bringing isla – opting to catch you off guard and seeing how you'd deal – so he assumes you carry the toy around for emergency purposes, like anyone else of their ilk would carry a gun.
something about that quirk just screams safe.
"it is a nice dress." johnny pursues, voice smooth in that way it gets when he's flirting but doesn't want it made clear. it took weeks for ghost to attune himself to it – he always just thought the scot spoke like that – but now that he's able to hear it for what it is, he shoots him a cautionary look. not so much mad as he is cautious. wouldn't want to scare her off.
"oh! thank you very much. it's my grandmother's design." you straighten up once isla gains a proper grip on the rattle, patting the skirt like you're basking in the praise. "shall we sit? i assume you have a lot to discuss, and i promise you'll want to try the maple scones they make here."
"please. after you." simon nods.
an hour later, you're giggling into your palm as johnny deviates into a story of the time they took isla to the hospital because they didn't know the soft spot on her head could pulse. simon is quiet in contrast, though not displeased. rather, he's focused on keeping the tally of all the green flags you've exhibited thus far. he doesn't mind that the conversation hasn't followed a typical interview format. in fact, people are more likely to show their true nature when in relaxed settings such as this, which is perhaps why johnny hasn't stuck to the script of questions they'd prepared beforehand. the man is better at social manoeuvring than simon is, anyway. he trusts him to direct this where it needs to go.
"it can be freaky! especially if you've never been around a child that young. i had a similar reaction the first time i babysat my neighbour's infant at sixteen. did you know that they can break out like teenagers? i noticed the poor thing's skin erupt in acne at just a month old and called his parent's crying." you wheeze, wiping the tears along your lashline.
"have ye worked wi' many bairns?"
"oh, yeah. it's been my primary source of income since secondary, all the way through uni. i just finished a master's degree in early childhood education, actually! and i wrote a list of referrals you can call if you need to double check on any of that." you rummage through your purse and pull out an apple-shaped sticky note. "do you mind if i ask what you do? people don't usually look for a full-time nanny unless they're really busy. not that i'm judging! i would ne–"
"military." simon interrupts, ensuring his tone is gentle enough to reassure.
"that makes sense! i mean, for an indefinite amount of time, the pay you're offering is more than perfect. above industry standard, really." you pause, brows furrowing like you're doubting whether you should have said that. "ah– whatever. anyway. isla is wonderful, just the sweetest. and the provided accommodation is an added plus. if you guys have no other qualms, then i'd love to accept the position."
"does i' bother you that there are cameras on the property? porch, kitchen, and living room. jus' for security's sake." simon tests, though he knows he doesn't need to, for extra measure. to someone with bad intentions, CCTV is a massive dealbreaker.
you don't hesitate before answering. "makes total sense! you guys are well within your right to check in at any time."
and they don't have to consult each other to know. johnny is practically buzzing in his seat, muscles flexed with enthusiasm as his gaze flits all over you. lingering on your chest in particular, before he looks over to simon and smiles in an offensively handsome way. simon can't help but smile back, crinkling his eyes more than necessary so the both of you can tell what's going on behind his mask.
it feels a little too good to be true, hopeful in a way that sets off the alarm bells in his head. he's stable enough to recognise that it isn't your fault, though. stable enough not to pin his distrust on you. this is likely the best shot they've got at ensuring their daughter's safety while they're away, and it's come in the form of a vivid, bright little blessing.
(with great tits.)
he'd be a fool to sabotage it.
johnny beats him to the cause. "ye'r hired."
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dumb young love
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1.9k words, summary: when art leaves you in the dust for tashi, a part of you breaks. after an argument art realizes how desperately in love he is with you.
request from @fangirlinc :)
you had gone and done the one thing everyone had warned you not to do. you had fallen in love with your best friend. i mean how could you not? he was handsome, charming, talented, funny, everything you could want in a man and more. you both had such bright futures ahead of you and just loved being in each others company. which is why you never felt the need to profess your love to him. but lately you've been rethinking this choice. 
you obviously knew how close art and patrick were, i mean you guys all practically grew up with each other. this dynamic never really bothered you, why would it? that all changed once tashi came into the picture. 
you had been there, at the match where it all started. you had come to support them like you always had, but within those few days something had shifted and you had no idea why. suddenly the boys were ditching you to go to a party you didn't even know they cared about. 
they had come back to you the next day, raving about how amazing tashi was and the night they spent together. you noticed a glint in art’s eye that wasn't there before, and you tried your hardest to suppress the jealousy you were feeling. 
that day, when patrick won the match, you couldn't help but feel relieved that art would remain yours just for a little longer. what you didn't realize is that art didnt care if patrick was with tashi, because he was still head over heels for her.
 
“hey are we gonna have dinner tonight?” you ask, throwing another tennis ball over the net.
“yeah, just gotta get back to my room and shower” art replies, hitting back the ball with a distraught look on his face. 
“is it tashi?” you sigh.
“what? no-no. i'm just stressed about my next match” he replies, walking over to the bench. 
“you're art donaldson. you’re never stressed about a match. c'mon just tell me” you say as you walk over to him. 
“its just. patrick called and all he can fucking talk about is how amazing tashi is. and then i walk around campus and all i hear is how amazing tashi is. no matter what i do i can’t escape her.” he confesses, putting his head in his hands.
“i can’t imagine you ever wanting to escape her” you reply, letting out a forced laugh. 
“what?” 
“cmon art, from the day you lost that match it’s like your entire world changed or something. i mean all of a sudden your whole life revolves around this girl” you scoff. 
“y/n i really don’t need this shit from you, i’ll see you later” he scoffs, picking up his bag and leaving the court. 
“art!” you call out, only for him to leave you there alone.
standing there you think back to when everything was fine. how art would link his pinky with yours as you walked. the way he would call you everyday when he had to travel for matches. the nights you spent in his dorm trying to cram week's worth of studying into one night. the way he would so effortlessly plant kisses to your forehead. the moments you thought he might actually be in love with you. but now all you had were those memories. 
 
before you knew it, all art was doing was hanging out and helping tashi train. he had been your training partner first, so it hurt like hell to be left in the dust. you decided to try and let it go and focus on winning your matches. your most important match was coming up and you couldn't let your silly love life get in the way. the one person you had always dreamed of being coached by was going to be at your match. so you knew you had to train like crazy to get to work with them. 
a part of you was hoping maybe art would see how amazing your match would be, and finally start paying attention to you again. but you knew you were holding onto false hope. 
 
the day of your match had finally come, and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t scared. this was such an important moment for your career and you couldn't shake those nerves. but you knew seeing art up in the stands would give you the boost of confidence you needed. 
the first set was about to start and you still didn’t see art in the stands. you felt your heart skip a beat at the thought that he might not show up. he would never do that to you. right? 
the first set had started and for a moment, the world around you started to fade. you may have hated tashi, but man was she right about tennis. you were performing flawlessly and you knew all the hard work was finally going to pay off. 
after winning your first set, you go back to your seat, taking a breather and still scanning the crowd for art. he was still nowhere to be found and you could feel your sadness turning into anger. deciding to use that as fuel, you prepare yourself for your next set. the rest of the game goes flawlessly and you know this is the best you have ever played. 
hitting the winning point, you stand in shock as cheers come from the stands. thanking your opponent you can’t seem to wipe the smile off your face. that is until you spot art in the stands. you could feel all the anger and resentment you suppressed fighting to be released. this had been your best game yet, and there art was, to ruin it.
packing up your bag, you felt a presence behind you. all spectators and coaches were long gone so you knew exactly who was behind you. turning around to face art, you push past him not wanting to hear a word he has to say. 
“y/n please i-” art calls out, quickly catching up with you.
“you what art?!” you yell, turning around to face him.
“you forgot? you had homework? you lost track of time? oh better yet, maybe you were with tashi?” you continue, looking up at him. you could feel hot tears threatening to spill from your eyes. 
he stays silent and thats all the answer you need. 
“oh my god you were” you whisper, stepping back from him. 
“please just let me explain” art pleads, a look of desperation you’d never seen before. 
“today was the most important day to me. and i really thought that as my best friend you would at least care a little more. but i know where your priorities lay. and i'm done fighting for a spot i’ll never get” you say as tears quickly spill onto your cheeks. 
art’s hand reaches up to brush away your tears, but you step back. 
“stay the fuck away from me art” you choke out, quickly walking back to your room. 
 
the next few days were hell. spending each day crying in your bed, you had lost not only the love of your life but your best friend. you had gotten a call offering to be coached by someone you could only ever dream of working with. you should’ve felt happy, ecstatic even, but the last conversation you had with art was still ringing through your head. he had called you far too many times and texted you even more. but you had ignored every single one. the first day he came knocking on your door, but gave up after an hour of waiting. the apology flowers he had sent you sat on your desk. you had no idea what you were going to do. until, you got a text from patrick. 
patrick 
hi love, art told me about what happened im sorry. 
y/n
hi, you don’t have to apologize for him being stupid
patrick
do you want to hang out today? try to get your mind off of him
y/n 
actually i would love to
patrick 
meet me outside at 2
getting ready to see patrick was a highlight from these past few days. while you were enjoying your sulking you knew you had to get out at some point. going out to the courtyard, you see patrick sitting on a picnic blanket. your favorite foods and snacks were neatly laid next to him. you felt yourself genuinely smiling for the first time in a really long time. you spent the next hour eating your favorite meal and laughing at stupid shit with patrick. although your heart still hurt, you could feel your spirits rising. 
“thank you for this patrick, it’s all so lovely” you smile. 
“of course i’ll always be here for you” he gleams, pushing away the hair around your face and leaning in to kiss your forehead. 
“what the fuck?!” 
you would recognize that voice anywhere. 
“art what are you doing here?” patrick stands up to face him. 
“oh i dont know maybe i go to school here? what the fuck are you doing here patrick?!” he replies, getting closer to patrick. 
“seriously y/n? you run off to patrick?” he questions, obviously distraught but you can't seem to place why. 
“hey you don’t get to blame her for this” patrick replies. 
“oh fuck off patrick would you let her speak” 
grabbing arts hand, you quickly lead him away from the public spectacle this was all becoming. 
“what the hell is wrong with you art?” you yell, shutting your room door. 
“i mean, you completely forgot about me for some other girl and now you're mad at me? none of this makes sense, you broke my heart. you don't get to be angry.” you continue, feeling tears brim your eyes. 
he paces for a second, running his hands through the curls you missed so much. 
“im in love with you” he stops, looking down at you. 
it felt like you were dreaming, like you were imagining the words that just came out of his mouth. 
“i always have been. i've just been so stupid about it. when tashi came around i threw myself at her because i thought there was no way you would ever feel that way towards me. and i know i fucked up by doing that, i really really fucked up. but when i picture my life i see you, i've only ever seen you. and seeing you with patrick, i was scared i lost you. i'm sorry y/n, i really am. i would do anything to take it back.” he confesses. 
“you’re so stupid!” you yell, pushing his shoulders. 
“ive been in love with you for like, forever!” you look up at him, confused as to how he never realized. 
“really?” he asks, pure shock all over his face. 
“yes! i thought it was obvious” you frown. 
before you knew it he was holding your face in his hands, planting a kiss on your lips. in that moment everything felt right, like the stars had aligned. 
“y’know i'm still mad at you” you look up at him, placing your hands over his. 
“trust me, i will do everything to make it up to you. i'm just glad you're finally mine” he couldn’t seem to wipe the smile off his face as he kissed you again. 
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