#but one question is on a scale of 0-5 how often do you think of harming yourself

[flamebringer0]

[Image ID: Sketches of an original character, numbered from one to ten. He is a Nightwing, a kind of dragon from the Wings of Fire series. Each sketch depicts him posed differently. In the first sketch, he is using his forelegs to hold a spear while using his back legs and wings to walk. In the second, he is looking at his tail through his forelegs. In the third, he is sitting on a deck chair. In the fourth, he is standing normally and displaying the undersides of his wings. In the fifth, he is flying. In the sixth, he is standing on his back legs and looks uncomfortable, like he's about to fall over. In the seventh, he is standing on his forelegs and looks even more uncomfortable. In the eighth, he is laying on his stomach, looking away from the camera. In the ninth, he is standing with his forelegs braced against some kind of barrier, looking over the top of it. In the tenth, he is sitting on his haunches looking away from the camera. /.End ID]

Sketching random poses for practice.

Part [1] [2]

Some commentary:

1. Dragons in WOF are often described as moving around while holding objects like spears and scrolls. This usually looks weird to me in the graphic novels, where they mostly end up doing a strange three-legged walk that I imagine would get tiring after a while. There's also a part in The Lost Heir where Anemone apparently walks around with a lance jammed in her armpit... foreleg-pit... whatever. My headcanon is that this three-legged walk doesn't really happen, and instead the way to walk while holding something is to either hold it with your wing, or (as shown here) walk with your wings and hold it with your forefeet. I think this idea might sound weird and therefore not occur to people because they think that the wing is so thin that it must be too flimsy to walk on, but I feel that if it's strong enough to carry a dragon in flight it must be strong enough for this. Maybe. It makes sense to me anyway.

2. Originally this was sort of inspired by the pose at 0:34 in this video (cw for violence). I wasn't really satisfied with how my attempt looked so I changed the head to be doing something else. I still like that pose though and I might try it again.

3. This was inspired by Spyro sleeping on the deck chair in the remake of Spyro 2. I don't know if they have deck chairs in Pyrrhia. My friend told me the chair is about to get impaled and i guess he's correct. Maybe it's made of a very thick fabric.

4. This is how dragons T-pose.

5. What do dragons do with their legs in flight? This question bedevils me. When I was creating my Minecraft skin (this) I changed how the legs are posed during the flight animation several times, and I'm still not sure it really looks right.

6. Before I got into WOF I mostly only drew anthro characters, so something I want to understand better is how to draw a character standing on two legs without making it look like they have a human skeleton. My headcanon is that dragons can learn to stand and even walk like this, but most don't. You can tell an expert from an amateur because an expert will stand all the way up onto their toes, whereas an amateur will keep their heels on the ground. I think the main students of this technique are circus performers. If you do this in public you will be stared at. The only tribe where a lot of dragons can do it is Rainwings, because they think it's funny. The only major non-Rainwing character who can do it is Qibli.

7. Standing on your forelegs isn't really considered harder than standing on your hind legs, but it is considered a more advanced technique because you're much more likely to snap your neck if you fall over.

8. It's really hard for me to draw a tail curling away from the camera like this. I don't exactly understand what I'm doing wrong. The scales look weirdly skewed to me, like a Playstation game where the polygons are touching the edge of the screen. This happens regularly but I haven't figured out what to do about it.

9. Standing on two legs is a lot easier if you brace the other two up against the wall.

10. Wings look silly here. Wings are the hardest part of these sketches to make look naturalistic I think, probably because I conceptualise dragon bodies as like ... a dog with wings, as opposed to a bat with forelegs. Hopefully if I keep doing this I will be able to develop a holistic understanding of the anatomy of a body plan that does not exist. That's my ambition, anyway.

#wings of fire #wof #nightwing #wof nightwing #my art #wof oc #oc #original character #digital art #dragon

[lizziethat]

How would you describe Kiara’s and JJ’s chemistry and how it’s evolved over the seasons? As I’m rewatching s3 you can really feel the tension between the pair but it’s not really sexual tension?? Like you can feel the attraction to each other but I feel like there’s so much more depth to them by this point. It just seems like by s3 it’s not so much the physical affection/intimacy they are longing for but something deeper emotionally. It seems like in season 1 there was a lot more sexual tension and maybe it seemed like that just because of JJ’s strong physical attraction to Kiara in the beginning.

Anyways this a chaotic question and it probably doesn’t make a lot of sense but I’m curious to read your thoughts! :)

This is a fun question because I've sorta wanted to discuss this and didn't know where to start or how to go on this tangent, but the question has helped me with framing by giving me a reason to discuss the general idea of sexual tension that TV typically presents to us.

I think there's this notion -- sort of reinforced by many years of TV -- that there's one kind of relationship progression, and that relationships usually go from what we think of as the "sexual tension" stage to something deeper. There are clear examples in entertainment of couples where that is so, and the typical procedural will they/won't they couple is one of those. Think Mulder and Scully, Bones and Booth, Castle and Beckett, and even Tim and Lucy. But that is, of course, not the only kind of relationship progression there is.

For couples such as the ones I mentioned, though, it is the only available one. They met as adults, and when you do, it's easier to recognize physical attraction before anything else. The rest, you have to build, and it is incredibly rewarding to see couples build these relationships. Jiara, however, doesn't fit into this at all.

Because Kiara and JJ met as kids. There's no sexual tension between kids. There's something different that happens at one point, sexual awakening -- and boy, does that get complicated when you're thinking about someone you already care for, your friend, and in the midst of feeling new things. Oftentimes, you will even repress your feelings in a situation such as that one, because ...it's awkward! This is your friend.

In this regard, though, I think S1 Jiara was the Season where we saw JJ and even Kiara, more comfortable with just the physical aspect of their relationship, or the "she's hot," kinda banter, if only because it's easier to joke about something you think is never going to happen. Writing-wise S1 JJ and Kiara aren't being written as endgame, so the jokes make more sense. And yes, Rudy and Madison have great, believable chemistry, that can feel like friendship with a hint of more, and that's how we ended up here, but the key to how believable the progression is isn't just on their chemistry, but in the setup.

You fall in love with your friends more often than not, despite friends-to-lovers not being the most common trope we see in entertainment. And when you do, it's because you already love them, because you start not from 0 but from 5, and kinda marry that with oh, actually, I think they're pretty darn attractive too, and I also think all these great things about them and maybe, maybe that means more ...so by the time we get to S3 with Jiara, it's so much deeper, because it can be no other way. The emotional connection was already there from the beginning.

I think that's also why they play the charged physical moments as a discovery, too. They're not discovering that they're attracted to each other, they're discovering that their attraction coupled with their feelings makes for something they'd never felt before. Again, on a scale from 1-10, Jiara in S3 is at a 7 ...and the natural instinct is to reach for more, to look for the deeper emotional connection, which can probably only be achieved when feelings are expressed, reciprocated and you start thinking of a shared future.

tldr; I think Jiara works so well because their relationship has always felt rooted in a deep love for each other -- like the best friends-to-lovers romances always are -- that was there long before they ever thought oh, he/she is actually pretty darn hot. Which, they do! They really do. It's just never been about only that. It couldn't be, because in so many ways, they loved each other before they were attracted to each other.

LIKE, LOOK ...that's love before sexual tension, which doesn't mean there is no sexual tension, it's just the order is different!

#outer banks #obx #jiara

[nopoodles]

How cudleable are your OCs?

I saw @sleepyowlwrites list of tag games and I wanted to do this so I decided to.

The premise is to answer the above question, I'm using a scale from 1-10 and context.

Merry from Guardian Cadet Series: 5/10 "a hug from you for that?" — Lior to Merry in book one. Hugging isnt unheard of but it is pretty rare.

Kalik from Guardian Cadet Series: 7/10 He's also a relatively rare hugger but that's more because if his job than because he doesn't want to.

Blue, Ravi, and Dr Palmer from Welcome To Humanity: 9/10 on account of I want to give them all hugs poor babies.

Basti from Unlicensed Delivery: 10/10 he hugs well, he hugs often (he doesn't really hug on the page but he should)

Dimae from Unlicensed Delivery: 4/10 if you're Basti it's all the cuddles all the time. If you're not Basti, why would you try!?

Sauraxen from Unlicensed Delivery: 10/10 hug away. She's cute and she has all this sensory hair to wrap around people too.

Brruuh from Unlicensed Delivery: 5/10 he's figuring it out but hugs are new.

Matter from Unlicensed Delivery: 10/10 needs hugs to survive.

Nat from NTKOD (pirate project): 0/10 don't even try, you'll get cut down with a scathing statement unless you're their baby sister. For a start it's inappropriate and for second you didn't even ask.

Aleksei from NTKOD: 4/10 would hug but too much piracy.

Tao from NTKOD: 0/10 for your own safety, do not try to hug the Pirate Lord.

I want everyone to do this tag because I think it's great, this is sortof less an open tag and more like I'm tugging on your clothes like a toddler going "cmoooon, it'll be fun, do the taaaaag". But also @avrablake @emelkae @oh-no-another-idea @acertainmoshke @cherrybombfangirlwrites

#tag games! #how cudleable are your ocs #guardian cadet series #welcome to humanity #welcome to humanity novel #unlicensed Delivery #interplanetary alliance novels #NTKOD #pirate project

[thatyanderecritic]

Can you do a review on a manga call " maou sama to kekkonshitai " that boy is very clingy and creepy ( English is not my language)

Title: Maou-sama to Kekkonshitai

Media: Manga. Written by Tanuma Ikuechi

Yandere(s): Haru

Yandere Scale: 1/5

Criticism written by: Kai

Editor: Julie

Hey there! Kai here to write this review. It’s been a while since we last did a proper review, huh? I thought to go all out since it’s been a while since we last got an inbox question as well. That said, let’s hope right into the review.

Before answering the question “Is he a yandere?” I think it’s important to discuss the genre of the manga. Maou-sama to Kekkonshitai (shortening it to Maou-sama) is a lighthearted romance-comedy story. Saying this, it doesn’t make the manga bad but it largely undercuts the evaluation of Haru’s character as he’s just a caricature for the sake of comedy. In fact, I would say that all the characters in this manga are simply caricatures of what a character should actually be. All for the sake of making a 4koma-style manga. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing since we saw plenty of examples of yandere rom-coms such as Akkun to Kanojo. But because we do have plenty of examples of yandere rom-coms, there is a stark difference between Maou-sama and other stories.

The best comic I can compare this to is Inu x Boku SS. Inu x Boku SS and Mau-sama both share the same premise of a loli master and her obsessive servant. Both stories has supernatural elements, share a 4koma style humor, and they both try to have a semi-serious story about their relationship. But when comparing the two, Maou-sama is simply inferior to Inu X Boku SS as Boku managed to tell a compelling story with somewhat grounded characters while also giving a reasonable excuse for why the main couple had a substantial “will they, won’t they” tension. Sure, you can say Inu X Boku SS had a long serialization to have that room for growth but Maou-sama isn’t a short one-shot. It’s an 18-chapter series with each chapter containing about 23 pages. I read it in its entirety. It wasn’t a short read and I often felt that it was simply too long. Too long for telling so little.

Comparing Haru to more famous yandere rom-com leads such as Akkun or Soushi, Haru is so… astonishingly ordinary. Don’t get me wrong. Haru is a clingy guy but he isn’t remotely creepy. As we called out other male leads for just having “shoujo bullshit”, Haru falls in line for a rather typical “rom-com nonsense”. Don’t forget the fact that this is a shounen manga as well. The author spends way more time in the female lead’s perspective and moments in the manga are used to show how kawaii the female lead is. But let’s talk comparisons because other yandere rom-com leads had their yandere actions shown but Haru doesn’t do anything. At all. He’s all talk. Because of that, I almost labelled him as a 0/5 but sometimes he just says buck wild things. We’ll have long gaps of typical rom-com nonsense then suddenly Haru would say “I want to lick your toes!” then go back to normal. It’s the type of banter Julie and my other friend would have where we go “Oh my god, your so pretty. I would snap my neck in half to smell your breath” or some other nonsense. It’s just so…. You know “Rawr I’m so rand0m”.

Haru is clingy, I won’t deny that. But he’s like a kid… in fact he is a kid. The manga isn’t shy in stating that he just started going through puberty. Puberty! At the end of the manga, he and the ancient demon lord loli gets married! The lowest he could be is 14 but he looks to be 16 at best! Writing about this now, his actions make a lot more sense as a teen with a lot of hormones running through him… hell, the main thing about his character is that he thinks “dirty thoughts” about the loli. And a lot of his more outrageous actions have always been something the loli demon just enabled as they were just things a child would do but now it's considered as romantic since he's a little grown-up. Haru is like... most shounen male leads who have that sense of desperation to be in a relationship with a woman. You guys know what I mean right?

Haru is above average but he can hardly be called a true yandere because he’s all talk but no bite. I’m taking off points because of the humor undercutting Haru’s character, his lack of creepy actions, rom-com nonsense/shounen male desperation, and for leaving so much room for speculation. I recommend reading Inu x Boku SS or Akku to Kanojo if you’re looking for a yandere rom-com fix. The yandere’s there are shown in actually doing something yandere-like with much more thought. Maou-sama is an incredibly slow manga with more fanservice aimed for male audiences than female audiences. Haru is a so-so character for those looking for a quick yandere high.

Yandere scale: 1/5

Overall score: 4/10

*edit* Julie:............Kai I would snap your neck to smell your breathe.

#Maou-sama to Kekkonshitai #I want to marry the demon queen #yandere review #male yandere #yandere #its been a long time huh?

[arsquare]

5, 10 and 13 For the art ask game!

Hi Malz <3

least favorite thing to draw

LOL there are so many things I don't like to draw... backgrounds... cars... guns... the list goes on and on... (not quite related but. perhaps you've noticed that despite my voluminous contributions to birdmen fanart in recent times I've casually dodged out of drawing the birds transformed time and time again. there's a reason for that. it's too hard. the markings drive me insane and the wings make creating compositions hell on earth </3)

But! If I had to pick ONE thing that I dislike more than all others, I would probably choose complex cityscapes! More organic landscapes I can just freehand, at least to a certain degree, but cityscapes require a more refined use of perspective and idk. me and the CSP rulers kind of have a long-standing rivalry, I still don't like it that much, which makes cityscapes a huge pain

how many different sketches do you usually have until your piece is finished

LOL... if I have more than one sketch before I do the linework I'm already like "that's way too much". I'm super impatient...

Like for Breaking Stasis I basically used my storyboards as the rough sketch (don't do this lol) because I needed to go fast. Here's a couple of examples...

I went from this kinda messy sketch (storyboards as well in a certain sense) directly to the clean lines. idk what's wrong with me tbh. I'm just lazy I guess

It also depends on how well I can draw the character in question. Like my birds?? from birdmen??? I could probably draw rei eishi takayama and umino pretty well freehanded (kamoda. my bald son kamoda. you're so hard to draw. the line between A bald guy and MY bald guy is razor thin and I often end up on the wrong side of the line)

If I've never drawn the character before? Lollll I probably have to do more detailed drawings...

Sometimes my sketches will be my final as well LMAO. just depends <3

Even for paintings I think I usually go sketch -> colors LOL

^^ shitty pencil sketch that's been tweaked a bit for the sake of composition

^^ directly painting without intervention like a madman????

This one is the one I had the most sketches for in recent memory. It's cause I have a hard time keeping them all in scale with each other (and STILL I failed to take into account how the various platform boots would change their heights. dont think about this too hard please don't think about this too hard), and also because these aren't outfits I'm used to drawing (so not collared shirts or suits, basically...) I had to do a rough and a clean before the final

so yeah anywhere from 0-2, 3 if we're REALLY pushing it (the question asked how many sketches, not how many layers... I do have more layers but I consider them all part of the same sketch)

how long do you usually take on a piece

LMAO THIS IS SUCH A HARD QUESTION. WHAT IS "A PIECE". DEFINE A PIECE.

The fastest stuff are my MS Paint doodles like he is eating raw cloves of garlic like jellybeans or food service Shichiro. I spend no more than 10 or 15 minutes TOPS per illustration on these. like I'm moving fast okay. it's like milk left out in the kitchen it's gonna go bad and stop being funny if I spend too long on it!!!

The next fastest would be short comics in the same spirit as the MS Paint doodles except it's just. not in MS paint it's in CSP instead. like does eishi support birdmen rights or takaeishi horror movie night. I think the cap for these are probably closer to like, 20 minutes per illustration/panel. but these are also almost explicitly always for funnies and again. the joke spoils if I spend too long on it!! gotta be quick!! gotta be speedy!!!

the next fastest stuff is probably colored sketches like Kekkaishi dress sketches or Shinichi birthday kisses. the time starts to get more variable as the complexity changes.. I think maybe an hour to an hour and a half for these?

Beyond that I have to split things up into multiple sittings and it gets harder to time them. Lined and colored artwork maybe takes... four to ten hours on average?? Like for Yoshitoki vibes, ganbare shinichi-kun, and the Lower One's Eyes thumbnail. I'm guessing around 15-20 hours for lineless paintings like Conductor Robin and Reieishi Tattoo Kiss? (<- idk the ship name for them because I don't think it exists actually)

For actual like. big projects. idk how to even measure that chief!! Breaking Stasis was completed in 2 months but I was working my ass off that entire time. like close to the end, like the last week or two I was basically drawing the entire day to crank it out. I don't know how many that is, but hundreds, perhaps? LOL

The music videos too, they're taking up QUITE a chunk of time but I have no idea how to measure that LMAO. oops </3

#asks #ask game #malz-art #I'M SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG... I JUST HAVE A LOT TO SAY... #me answering every single one of these questions: well it depends

[salty-ooc]

How about 4, 5, 19, and 38 for Ptyyas, Tektos, and Diphda! :] (if it’s too many, feel free to choose which you want!) - Dog, canisbeasts-ooc

4 (How easy is it to earn their trust?)

Ptyyas: I think she can trust you enough to feel she can talk to you pretty easily, but full trust takes a while.

Tektos: Xe'd trust you enough to hand you the knife you stab her in the back with. Just make sure to sleep with one eye open afterwards.

Diphda: Easy to earn, hard to regain.

5 (How easy is it to earn their mistrust?)

Ptyyas may be a horrified scared person with unknowable knowledge but she's also kind of a bitch. pretty easy.

Tektos can really handle anything. Grudges slide right off of them, but they are a being that fights against injustice, unlike Raveri fighting for justice. Once betrayal sets in, it's a waiting game.

You have to hurt someone close to Diphda for it to be easier than average, but if you do that then she hates you more than anything.

19 (What is their favourite number?)

Ptyyas likes infinity, like a nerd. Diphda likes 8 because of her emoticons' big eyes, Tektos likes 0.

38 (What memory do they revisit the most often?)

Meeting the universe worm for the first time. How could she not? She's still out there.

Punishing Meurso with sadistic glee. Uncontrollable power billowing through the firmament, the very aspects coming together to rip something apart, loose scales brushing and making a sound that melded with the screams like an alloy.

Finally seeing Raveri as someone cool, alright and most importantly safe to be around. For someone with bloody eyes and huge fangs, the care he puts into every action became obvious when he threw up almost immediately after accidentally hurting diphda in a spar. He also looked pretty cringe during it.

cheers for the questions, mod dog @canisbeasts-ooc. its not too many someone else asked and i got a bible to write now

#analysis

[just-kiss-me-you-fool-hehe]

i have never felt more ready for a monday in my life

our little new week countdown has never made me feel more ready for a new week ahead

we got high and had so many giggles like i was doubled over half the night bc i was just so happy

it was so nice for jasmine to teach us how to make things together and give us instructions and she wants us to do human centipede style pani puri night and have a contest for who can make the best one

i think it'll be so fun to have them over honestly

it was so cute how we all ate from one plate and fed each other it was so sweeeeeeeeeet

and how we helped each other fight the sunday scaries

i loved when jasmine would bump my shoulder and we have a little giggle or she would hold my hand while i told her something

i taught them how to pin messages in imessage and how to look at screen time and how to add limits they had no idea!!!

i was telling them how i think 5 letter names are the best closely followed by 3 letter names/nicknames

questions

how much do you hold hands and are you happy with it (nyc is not good for hand holding, sf is very conducive to hand holding)

do you get sad in the winter

how often can you without leaving your apt

who is your favorite tiktoker

how much time do you spend on your phone (not kevin deleting him and jasmines entire imessage history bc of the unpinning when he clicked delete)

what is one thing you shipped last year

what does your friendship pyramid look like

how long do you think the honeymoon period lasts

how much time do you spend on tiktok (we were talking about screen time and i got sad that kevin had insane hinge screen time and it made me kinda sad)

where are you on the scale of wanting to make friends actively to not wanting to make friends at all? i said how i was at a 0 because i haven't even been able to look at cashiers or other people i could talk to but it's only bc i went like 15/10

i was also telling them how i feel so fulfilled bc in the past i felt like i could never have too many friends and i always have and still feel like the lame little kid that no one wanted to hang out with and now i feel so content with my friendships that nothing is missing i am just over the moon with everyone i know i couldn't be happier that my life feels so fulfilled and overflowing with love

i find myself being really turned on sometimes when i look at him he's just wearing a black shirt but sometimes i look and i see the tiny waist and giant shoulders and the muscles and i'm fully horny and 😩🤨

see this the position i don't wanna be in when i'm pining after someone i just hate it

next time i want to focus on being intentional, putting my phone away and just enjoying the moment for what it is, being really present and not being stressed about trying to look cool

everyone there already thinks i am cool i don't need to try so hard

questions for jas, does mark get annoyed when you ask him to clean

jas was saying how she thought it was cute that i asked her for shroom tips bc it means she's my go to person (i had been telling them about how when i found the pill in my carpet and immediately asked them about it and they knew what it was i told mel and she was like love that you immediately consulted your local drug dealers)

it was truly a movie 🥹

#personal #jasmine #kevin

[josiebelladonna]

the whole “my opinions suck” thing got me thinking and i did some searching around, and i found this big thing about self-worth, and near the bottom is a self-esteem check up (here’s the whole link if you’re curious at all and want to try it all out yourself).

i’ll understand if you’re tired of me auditing myself but it needs to get out. i don’t ever want to pretend.

This worksheet is good for a wide audience, including children, adolescents, young adults, and older adults. The opening text indicates that it’s a self-esteem worksheet, but in this case, the terms self-esteem and self-worth are used interchangeably.

Completing this worksheet will help you get a handle on your personal sense of understanding, acceptance, respect, and love for yourself.

The worksheet lists 15 statements and instructs you to rate your belief in each one on a scale from 0 (not at all) to 10 (totally or completely). These statements are:

I believe in myself;

I am just as valuable as other people;

I would rather be me than someone else;

I am proud of my accomplishments;

I feel good when I get compliments;

I can handle criticism;

I am good at solving problems;

I love trying new things;

I respect myself;

I like the way I look;

I love myself even when others reject me;

I know my positive qualities;

I focus on my successes and not my failures;

I’m not afraid to make mistakes;

I am happy to be me.

“I believe in myself.” in general, i don’t. my writing gets slated more often than not, i wouldn’t be offended if my art gets thrown in the trash, i’m ugly, my sexuality doesn’t matter, i’m incompetent, i’m too emotional, my opinions are terrible, my thoughts are weird, you don’t want to know what my religious beliefs are, i have no love life, i have a crush on an older guy and my feelings for him aren’t respected or valid, i have to perform to impress people and even then they aren’t impressed, i can’t hold down a job if it saved me, making friends is a challenge and a chore, my family is hypercritical and hyper vigilant of me (and they honest to god have no reason to be, either), i’m a hack in the science community, and i’m prone to weight gain. i have no confidence in anything i do, no matter how much it means to me. goose egg, 0.

“I am just as valuable as other people” can’t say i am. i do feel… some? in there, some tiny little nugget—it’s probably the one thing that’s keeping me from relapsing into the big “a”. 1.

“I would rather be me than someone else” even with my shit belief in myself, i can’t imagine being someone else. i’ve been me for too long that i kind of have no choice now. right in the middle, 5.

“I am proud of my accomplishments” the answer may surprise you but no. not even a little bit. if anything, i don’t ever want to think about sharing my accomplishments because, the way that my life has gone, i literally worry about being seen as a braggart. 0.

“I feel good when I get compliments” same story: I actually don’t. if anything, they make me so anxious, like what do i say to this? thank you? i gotta do more than thank you, it’s almost expected now. it’s like, now what? 3.

“I can handle criticism” i handle it better than fanfic writers, that’s for fucking sure, mainly because i expect it. i expect to have my ass handed to me. this shit isn’t good and you know it. 5.

“I am good at solving problems” i’ve thought about this and—not really. i’m a “shoot first, ask questions later” kind of person, and apparently, this is widely reviled. i’m also not very bright: problem solvers are bright, and i just am not there. 1.

“I love trying new things” do i ever! 10/10.

“I respect myself” i respect myself enough to walk away from facebook for the most part, kill twitter dead, and to end a stupid feud that should’ve ended after four months. 5.

“I like the way I look” i don’t think i’ve ever liked the way i look. even on my good days, i still nitpick at myself. there��s always something. there’s always someone, too (re: “people just don’t like my body”). 0.

“I love myself even when others reject me” i get rejected constantly and… you’re telling me to love myself? i did that other “what would you do if everything was taken from you” statement on there, and yes, it literally would not change how i feel internally. i’ll still blame myself for losing everything. 0.

“I know my positive qualities” vaguely. 1.

“I focus on my successes and not my failures” i think of both. 5.

“I’m not afraid to make mistakes” my cartoons literally began life as an error. why be afraid? 6.

“I am happy to be me” huh… huhhhhh… jesus tap-dancing christ. what have i done to be happy or deserve it? 1. why 1? can’t imagine being anyone else (the only thing keeping it from zero is out of spite, and even that defeats the purpose. it’s more like 0.5).

Add up all of the ratings for these 15 statements to get your total score, then rate your overall sense of self-esteem on a scale from 0 (I completely dislike who I am) to 10 (I completely like who I am).

(i’m guessing you add them up and then divide by 15 seeing as there’s 15? i got 43, so that’s roughly 2.87)

Finally, respond to the prompt “What would need to change in order for you to move up one point on the rating scale? (i.e., for example, if you rated yourself a 6 what would need to happen for you to be at a 7?)”

believing in myself, i have no fucking clue. i’ve been searching for the answer to this since i was 18. i really feel like i’ve tried everything and i still can’t find it in me. same with my appearance and being happy with myself. my parents tell me i’m beautiful, but i look at my body and can’t help but feel disgust. yeah, my parents think this, but why is no one asking me out on a date? why does everyone at school think i’m ugly and boring to talk to? why am i being bullied? why does my own family take great pleasure in body-shaming me, calling me fat, telling me to cut my hair, telling how to dress and what to read and what to like? most of all… my mom is stressed out and my dad is high. how do i know if there’s any truth to this? if i’m so fucking beautiful, why is all of this happening to me? how do you accept a compliment? besides just thanking the person, that is, and i’m genuinely asking this, too. there are days i genuinely wonder if i even have positive qualities at all and i’m just putting on an act because i’m too afraid to show the real me, the dark and twisted side of me. i literally suck at solving problems… and it’s almost always because i don’t know what i’m doing. i don’t know what i’m looking for, i don’t know what i’m looking at, i don’t know how this works, i don’t know what this means… but i get thrown into it cold and i bullshit my way through it because there’s an expectation on me now. the only time it isn’t is because i tend to forget what i’m supposed to do (hence why i feel so stupid about it). yeah, about being seen as a “braggart” when it comes to accomplishments… there’s a reason for this. when chris was alive, i used to hang out with people who eventually got tired of me, like i could sense they were tired of the fact that chris liked me and i didn’t know what else to tell them. before that, my paternal family often asked me “okay, now what? what happens next?” whenever anything good happened to me (i got honor roll and aced a midterm but it was all a cake walk, what do you want?) and as for value as a person… i’ve never understood this. what does it mean to be a valuable person? moreover, how does it feel to be valued? no one has ever looked at me and said “you’re a valued member of the team/family”, and no one has ever made me feel this way, either.

#personal #self worth #self esteem #text

[pinerrecord]

Am i gay quiz for kids

#Am i gay quiz for kids how to

There is no way to measure a person's sexuality and only an individual can determine whether or not they identify as gay and what that means to them. Unfortunately, many people take "Am I Gay?" quizzes online and think the results are accurate. People who are heterosexual are romantically and physically attracted to members of the opposite sex: Heterosexual males are attracted to females, and. There are several types of sexual orientation for example: Heterosexual. There was never intended to be any such thing as an "Am I Gay? Test" for this rating scale. Sexual orientation is the emotional, romantic, or sexual attraction that a person feels toward another person. Rather than identifying people's sexuality, however, this rating scale was purely based on self-evaluation and people's ratings may change over time. How much do you know about YHS Do you think you can get all questions right Let me and my friend be the judge of that >:D.

5 – Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual.

4 – Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual.

3 – Equally heterosexual and homosexual.

2 – Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual.

1 – Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual.

0 – Exclusively heterosexual with no homosexual.

But, before taking this quiz, you need to keep in mind the myths and misconceptions about gay people: Don’t judge your sexuality solely on the basis of erections/sexual arousal. This is a short but intelligent quiz, consisting of just 9 questions. This gay rating scale put people into the following categories: 2 The ‘Am I gay’ quiz will help clear your doubts. In 1948, in fact, a rating scale, The Heterosexual-Homosexual Rating Scale (often known as The Kinsey Scale), was developed by Alfred Kinsey and his colleagues Wardell Pomeroy and Clyde Martin. One of the reasons there is no "Am I Gay?" test is because it is now recognized that there are many options for sexuality outside of just heterosexual and homosexual. It has since been recognized that there is no test that can ascertain a person's sexuality. Of the many problems with the test was the assumption that there were only two possible sexualities (heterosexual and homosexual) and that pupil dilation would, indeed, vary in heterosexual and homosexual populations. 1įunding for this test ended in the 1960s when it became clear that this test was scientifically inaccurate and based on faulty premises. It was thought that the pupils would dilate (get larger) in response to sexual interest in the image shown. During this test, subjects were made to view images ranging from innocuous to pornographic while their pupil size was recorded.

#Am i gay quiz for kids how to

In the 1950s and 1960s, anti-gay sentiment was rampant (read: Gay Discrimination and Stigma and How to Cope) and a "homosexuality test" was developed in Canada. But are "Am I Gay?" quizzes of any value? Is an "Am I Gay?" test accurate? Am I Gay Test Some people wonder, "Am I gay?" and " How do you know if you are gay?" and sometimes they follow this up by taking something like an "Am I Gay Quiz" that might be found online.

#Am i gay quiz for kids

[updates-about-springworks]

What is employee net promoter score (eNPS) and how can it be used to improve employee engagement?

What is eNPS? How does it work? Is it an accurate way to measure how your employees feel about your company, and how can it be used to boost employee engagement?

What is eNPS?

eNPS – aka employee Net Promoter Score, or Employee NPS – is a way of measuring how your employees feel about your company.

It’s based on Net Promoter Score, which is a measurement of customer loyalty that was pioneered by Bain & Company and Fred Reichheld to measure customer experience.

How do you calculate eNPS?

An eNPS survey asks one simple question:

‘On a scale of 0-10, how likely are you to recommend this company’s products and services to others?’

Some companies like to be more specific and ask would you recommend it to ‘a friend, colleague, or family member’.

If they answer 9-10, they’re a promoter; if they answer 0-6 they’re a detractor.

You calculate employee net promoter scores by deducting % of detractors from your % of promoters. You ignore those who score 7-8, otherwise known as your ‘passives’.

This 11-point scale aligns to the classic customer NPS, and also offers more variance by looking at:

Promoters: Your most positive, motivated, and satisfied people

Passives: These employees are neutral. They're generally content but not fully committed to the organization

Detractors: This segment of your people won't recommend your business and are unhappy and disengaged to various degrees

If you only use 5 points, it changes the distribution and categorization of respondents and can inflate results artificially at both ends.

Why are some critical of eNPS?

Organizational psychologists often criticize eNPS as being too simplistic. They say it fails to capture the full complexity of an employee’s experience and needs other factors to be taken into consideration.

Although eNPS can be used to measure success, it’s only really meaningful when compared to a previous score or to another organization’s results. On its own, it can’t tell you much. But it is a good place to start.

What are the benefits of eNPS?

Although eNPS won’t give you a complete picture of how your employees feel, it’s a great first question. Using eNPS alongside other key metrics, you can create a more holistic view of employee experience.

Overall, eNPS is very simple and quick to measure. It can be represented numerically, making it easy to reference and compare. It’s also familiar to many people, and can be presented to stakeholders without too much introduction. Many professionals have a ‘feel’ for the NPS scale and know what constitutes a good or average NPS score.

eNPS support is also easy to get started and set up because it’s just one question.

To get the most out of eNPS, ask your promoters follow-up questions, such as why they like you, and ask your detractors why they don’t. This kind of survey feedback gives you richer insight into what is driving employee engagement, especially when analyzed alongside other metrics.

Best Practices: Discover how to beset optimize for employee feedback. 

How can eNPS be used to increase engagement?

eNPS alone won’t help to increase engagement. But showing that you’re listening and acting on employee feedback will. It helps to boost morale by showing employees that you care what they think.

And knowing their voice is heard helps them feel included and respected, especially when they see the organization take action to close experience gaps.

How to use eNPS effectively

1. Find the right solution

Although the results should always be anonymous, using the right eNPS solution can help filter survey findings and reveal differences based on department, location, and demographic.

2. Use eNPS survey software as part of a wider program

This should include more depth on employee engagement and employee satisfaction to help you understand why certain employees are promoters vs detractors and take action to turn employees into ambassadors.

3. Run alongside a customer NPS

Often these two metrics are aligned. If you’re people are happy they tend to be more engaged at work, and more willing to go the extra mile to help your customers.

4. Understand how you can improve eNPS and brand loyalty

Run an employee NPS survey regularly to gauge whether you’re achieving continuous improvement.

5. Be transparent

Share the good and the bad. Sharing survey results with your employees and inviting their recommendations for next steps helps them feel trusted and involved in the improvement process.

6. Take action

Once you can pinpoint where the experience gaps lie, take action to close those gaps. Make sure to dedicate resources to implement change.

When it comes to employee engagement, one of the worse things you can do as an organization is to ask for feedback and then fail to take action from the results of that feedback. It makes your people distrust the organization and the process and they’re unlikely to participate in future surveys.

Overall, eNPS is a great first step to start asking for feedback from your people. Used as part of a wider program on employee engagement and employee satisfaction, it can be a valuable tool in the process of identifying and closing employee experience gaps.The Original Blog has been published on Qualtrics

[boybff]

Been thinking a lot about writing characters with chronic pain. Mostly inspired by how much zukka fic I've been reading. I wanted to compile some ideas I had about writing characters with chronic pain. These are all the thoughts of a singular disabled person with chronic pain!

Below is a pain assessment scale. I liked this table specifically because it provides detailed and measurable categories to each number. I don't fully agree with the definitions of 7+ but probably because I'm nitpicky.

I think this table is a great tool for people without chronic pain to gain a deeper understanding of how to write characters with chronic pain. For me, it is disappointing to read a longer fic about a character whose exclusive "flare up" moments are to romanticize a caregiver dynamic. At best it is an ineffective characterization of chronic pain and at worst it re-enforces the idea that to be cared for people with chronic pain must also be desired.

Don't get me wrong, I love an intimate moment of care taking. However, those moments are made impactful when we have an understanding of a characters individual relationship to their chronic pain. I'm not looking for all fics that include chronic pain to grasp the full scope of ableism (I don't want that either lol). But I am asking why some interpretations of characters with chronic pain allow for them to act perfectly able bodied until there is an opportune inter-personal time for them to have a flare up?

I often see that people hc Sokka as having a long term leg injury resulting from his break during Sozin's Comet (which I too hc). However, in many fics that include this hc he doesn't utilize a cane even when his pain is severe. That could be an interesting character choice, as many people with chronic pain deal with internalized ableism, but often it is left uninvestigated.

What I value about this scale is that it is providing an assessment tool that does not dictate a specific response. I've spent many days at a 6 while still having to go to work. My sentences were sticky and hard to piece together and my body felt like it could use a lot of WD-40. So why was I at work? A ton of reasons! Money to live, spending most of my days during that part of my life at a 6, needing to get out of my room for my mental sanity even if it affected my physical wellbeing, pure disabled stubbornness, etc. On other days at a 6 catch me in the fetal position in my room with the lights off!

Most of my loved ones with chronic pain and I consider a decent day a 1-5 and we probably couldn't tell you the last time we were at a 0. Sometimes (if we are very lucky) we get to have long stretches of decent days and other times we are expected to continue our regular responsibilities when we haven't been below a 6 in weeks.

To close this long ramble here are some questions that might guide you to expanding on a character experiencing chronic pain. What does a low pain day look like for this character? What does a high pain day look like? How do they feel about people noticing their pain or offering support? What access tools do they use and what is their relationship to them? What is their individual relationship to their chronic pain and what has informed that?

Well wishes to you in your writing and I look forward to reading your work. Image description below cut.

[Image Description: A table titled Allina Health Pain Assessment Scale. There are two columns, the one on the left is numbers 1 through 10. The right column is corresponding experiences associated with each level of pain.]

0 means no pain

1 through 3 is mild pain. Pain doesn't interfere with your regular activities.

1. You may barely notice the pain

2. You may feel some twinges of pain

3. You may notice the pain but you can tolerate it.

4 through 6 is moderate pain. Pain may interfere with your regular activities.

4. You can ignore the pain at times.

5. You can't ignore the pain but you can still work through some activities.

6. Pain makes it hard to concentrate.

7 through 9 is severe pain.

7. Pain distracts you and limits your ability to sleep.

8. Pain is so intense that you have trouble talking.

9. Pain is so bad that you can't do any of your regular activities, including talking or sleeping.

10 is the worst pain you can imagine.

#this post is also a love letter to writers who write characters with chronic pain so wellllll #chronic pain sokka #atla headcanons #sokka x zuko #disabled zukka #atla fic #zukka #disabled zuko #disabled sokka #writing reference #gaang #atla fanfic #gay atla #chronic pain zuko #my post

[shtern-and-art]

"Skeppy will probably cry" "Bad will probably cry". Bish, screw, that I am crying!!!

This whole thing was bloody gorgeous and I wasn't expecting that ending. I had no clue what ending to expect but that was definitely better than any I could have hoped for. Forest spirit to soulmate your honour!

I was terrified that you were gonna leave it at the point where he loses the spirit and becomes mortal again. If you had I would be actively sobbing!!!! And oh my god, the art!!! I still can't get over how wonderful your style is.

Imma ask fun things because if I don't I'll sit in a puddle of emotion all night:

What's the first tech thing Bad will buy and how annoying will he be about it? Poor Skeppy trying to answer 101 questions about something he doesn't really use XD.

Is no one concerned that the odd couple from a town they never name has a pet wolf??

Do they immediately go over to a different town or do they wander for a while. Find hidden creeks and befriend bears?

Does Bad still have a connection to nature and animals, like are creatures naturally more trusting of him?

Do they ever visit the og town again?

Does Skeppy still cause absolute chaos in other towns or has he learnt his lesson and only causes minor trouble now?

Does Bad ever try and study again? If he did what would he study and would Skeppy try to study as well?

Does Skeppy steal? I dunno, he just give off the vibe of a naughty lil trickster who'll pocket something if the owner refuses to sell it him.

Immediately after leaving the forest what the first 'argument' they have (not including the car one)?

Would they ever ride horse? If yes, how terrified would Skeppy be?

Skeppy falls outta tree. I don't know why but my mind keeps telling me that this man has great balance until he climbs trees. They are his mortal enemy and Bad finds this both hilarious and terrifying because he is going to hurt himself.

I had waaaaay more questions than I intended to have. My bad '^_^ but this story was way too much fun to read and you are entirely to blame for making it so engaging!

Make sure to take care of yourself and do stretches after and during drawing. You don't wanna hurt yourself <3

AaaaI’m so glad you liked it! :D And, dang, man, I cried while writing that part too :D

And I promised a nice ending for the main story, I did, and this one also makes the most sense narratively! For the story I wanted to tell, at least. Bad can’t really become human again, he’s changed to much. He can only move on, and do something with what he is, and has. And he did! :D That’s really nice and inspiring, this story will always have a place in my heart, heheh <3

Being a guardian spirit connected to a person and all, Bad may be not as strong as before, but he can’t die unless Skeppy dies first. And Skeppy can do that, but he’s pretty sturdy, and his lifespan operates on a whole other scale than human ones. And Bad knowing Skeppy’s real name balances it all out, makes them equal in the power and influence they have over each other.

So hellyeah, soulmates for the win :DDD

I’ll answer all questions under the cut, and this close up from one of the pages!

1) What's the first tech thing Bad will buy and how annoying will he be about it?

Probably a pager! Because it’s a more feasible thing to get than a wholeass computer Bad actually wanted :D An it means Skeppy will have to get one too, and that Bad will be having the time of his life texting him and everyone he can get a number from, even if they’re still in the room with him.

Poor Skeppy indeed, he can learn to appreciate the pagers, and later phones, too, and computers, but he really has 0 idea on how it all works and why Bad is so fascinated by it all.

2) Rat and regular people

Oh, she can shapeshift, just like Bad! If they’re out with people around, she takes form of a puppy, and Bad can pass her off as a weird mix breed rescue doggo.

3) Do they immediately go over to a different town or do they wander for a while?

Oh, since they have no end destination in mind, they can ride around for a bit, go visit some cool places and roadside attractions. Sadly, Skeppy is probably not spiritually or morally ready to full on befriend wild bears yet, and they do need money for gas and snacks. So, at some point they will have to stop somewhere and find work – at least for a bit, to save up. Life’s gonna be a bit complicated with all that, until Skeppy figures out his treasure-finding abilities :DD

4) Bad and nature and animals

He is definitely still in tune with all wildlife! Even more – Bad could become a proper guardian spirit for Skeppy in part because, in a way, Skeppy himself is part of the nature.

So yeah, Bad can understand animals (and plants) and communicate with them; they’re just more free to not take his shit, and Bad’s emotions do not “possess” them unless he makes an effort to do so.

He doesn’t like doing it, tho.

5) Do they ever visit the og town again?

Hm, I think they will completely forget about it for a while, until, like, 30+ years later they will be going somewhere, and find themselves around those parts. And they try to not appear too often in the areas they’ve spent a lot of time in already (they can be pretty recognizable, and also barely show signs of aging). But it’s been a long time, and the town’s really different now… So they make a stop, and spend a day there. They walk the unfamiliar streets between the new buildings, check out the popular hiking trail, the advertisements for hot springs and winter activities. The old cinema is still there, and is hosting an all-night marathon of classic horror movies of the last century.

Bad and Skeppy leave the town after sunset – the day was nice, but they have nothing more to do there. They ride through the forest on a well paved road, with radio playing something barely above the whisper. And in the dark of hot summer night, Bad can see the white stag running between the trees alongside their car. Shadows dance over the shimmering light of it’s fur.

Somewhere after the towns border, the stag disappears back in the forest. But the air in the car stays light and fresh, saving the smell of old pines and dry leaves all though the night.

6) Skeppy and chaos

Well, after the whole mess in the main story, Skeppy definitely learned some lessons, especially about not being a dick :D

But the thing is – he can’t really help the fact that things tend to stir up around him a lot. He naturally brings in chaos into everything, because he is, in part, a personification, or an outlet for it in the world. And so, to feel, well and good, and himself Skeppy gotta do stuff that disrupts balance, and creates some mayhem. And in gave him a lot of trouble in early life, but in the course of the main story he learned that he can chose were he lets that chaos to take hold, learned what can come of that chaos, apart from utter misery.

Like, where it can help dismantle something destructive, and where – bring in the more positive change, that was already brewing, possible, but is stagnant for some reason.

Soooo, I can’t say Skeppy causes only minor chaos in his life, but he sure learns even more about not being a dick :DDDD

7) The studying

I think Bad will want to get a higher education at some point, because he wanted to, and because it’s already new millennia and all that. Bet he’ll go for something very technical and/or literature. Maybe he’ll start by piking up some classes in small time colleges, when they stop in one place for a while, and later get into an online program, because why not.

Skeppy is not a college guy at all. He’ll listen to Bad talk about it, read textbooks if he wants to, can research stuff, buuut going to classes and doing homework is definitely not his thing.

8) Stealing

Well, you’re right, Skeppy can and will steal stuff out of spite! And will be scolded by Bad for it, and will not feel (that) sorry about it. But real stealer between them will be Bad himself :D

It’s just… he has the corvid tendencies, and a hoard (a box) of sentimental mementos from different people and events, and the thrill of stealing something small and harmless is very exciting. Bad is very proud of his little collection. Skeppy finds it very adorable, a bit hypocritical, and kinda creepy. Like, that pretty box he gifted Bad at some point is now full of stuff like:

- pressed flower from the clearing they had a picnic at on their anniversary

- the button the waitress lost that one day the storm caused a black out in the whole town

- some small animal bones

- couple pretty rocks Bad stole from Skeppy’s pockets

- penny that was once glued to the ground

- a handful of teeth people (and not people) lost in fights with Bad

- pen from some fancy hotel

- rainbow dash keychain that belonged to a child

- the list goes on

9) Argument

Oh, that same day they’ll fight over whether they should stay at the really crappy and suspicious looking motel, or go sleep in a perfectly fine forest near the road. Ironically, Bad wanted to try out the motel (because, yay, first time spending the night back in civilization), and Skeppy was the one insisting on sleeping in nature (because the motel looks like it could give you 10 diseases if you even stand near it, and sleeping in the forest is kind of nice, and means they can cuddle).

10) Horses

The guys will probably ride them at some point. Well, Bad will ride, and Skeppy will sit on his horse and hope it knows what to do and where to go, because trying to make this giant thing do something seems dangerous. If they’ll have to actually go somewhere fast, Skeppy will not survive that day, his butt (and legs) will be dead for days to come.

And riding with Bad on one horse may sound romantic and nice, but all romance dies when the gallop starts.

F.

11) Skeppy and climbing

Skeppy is more down to earth kind of guy, more of a “rocks and caves” kind of creature, real-life lizard person or something. Up on the trees and in the air – not really his element, yeah. But it doesn’t mean that Skeppy will accept this fact easy. The embarrassment of never managing to safely make it down a tree is too strong, he just has to do it all over again, and again. And again. Because, clearly, he was distracted this time. And the time before that Bad was teasing him, and it “disrupted his flow”. And, really, maybe these trees here just do not like Skeppy much, and make him slip a lot. Yeah.

So, more often than not, if Skeppy climbs a tree, he will not stop climbing it until he falls, or the tree ends. Bad had to take him off high branches couple times, forcefully, because, of course, Skeppy was sitting there for 2 hours just to properly enjoy the sunset. He can climb down at any point, he just Choses not to. The view is amazing. The bark is literally part of his skin now, not because he holds on tight, no, he’s just Than Much one with the nature )<

---

Don’t apologize for the questions! It’s always so fun to answer them, and it makes me think more about stuff I may have skipped, or didn’t think about before. It’s really nice :3c

Again, thank you for the ask, and for being here for this story! <3

(And I’ll try setting timers for rest breaks while I draw, mb that will help)

---

In The Dark - masterpost

#mcyt #mcyt fanart #badboyhalo #skeppy #skephalo #In The Dark #it's so hot here #my laptop's keyboard is like a stove #=c= #shtern talks

[fellowstrangetownappreciator]

Curious and autistic-coded

Hello there! April draws to an end and with that I think it’s high time to hurry up and write this. What does April have to do with anything, you ask? April is the Autism Acceptance Month. So what better month to do this?

Unfortunately I didn’t make it. I failed. It’s already 1. 5. when I’m posting this. But at least I tried to deliver on time.

In this mini essay I’ll present my case about why I think the Curious brothers from TS2 Strangetown display autistic-coded traits and my personal takes on it.

It’s basically your average headcanon post but with a funny top hat!

0: Preface: What do I mean by “autistic-coded”?

When a character is coded as something, it means that they have traits that are associated with the demographics in question to make the consumer knowingly or not link the character with the demographic, although the character's "label” is never explicitly disclosed.

In the nutshell, it means that there are canonical reasons to read the characters as autistic, although you won't find the word "autism" anywhere in the game nor in the developer's commentary.

In this particular case I do believe that the developer may not even be aware of the code, as there is no evidence to suggest otherwise. If there is, I’m not aware of it and I would be happy to learn.

So, let’s start!

1: “The white male who is very good at science”

Unfortunately autistic representation in pop-culture has a long history of being rather straightforward in which traits the characters often have. This stems from the belief that autism is “a boy’s disorder” (that’s why some autism charities to this day use blue in their symbols). Among popular examples of autistic-coded characters are Big Bang Theory’s Sheldon Cooper and Death Note’s L and Near. I’m sure you can think of more but you’ll find that most of them are men and either explicitly white or racially ambiguous white-passing. They also tend to be gifted in tech, logic or other science-y activities.

There’s nothing wrong with that! Nothing wrong with being an autistic with those “stereotypical” characteristics and there is nothing wrong with people being represented. What is wrong is the monotony and afab people/people of color being underrepresented which leads (among other factors) to harder access to diagnosis and resources for those people in real life. But! That’s a topic for a different day. (and not for a simbrl, mind you)

Back to the Curiouses! I just wanted to say that autism in media is traditionally associated with characters whose gender presentation, race and interests align with theirs. Those characteristic thus make a very convenient template for autistic-coding.

2: Inconsistent performance, huge gaps between strengths and weaknesses

Pascal, Vidcund and Lazlo are very skilled Sims by default, extraordinarily even for their age. Pascal has a skill maxed while his younger brothers both near maxing theirs.

But as you can see in Pascal’s default skill panel, apart from Creativity, all his other skills are extremely low, 0 points for Mechanical, Body and Charisma, 1 point for Cooking and Logic and his second best skill, Cleaning, has only 3 points. The same situation can be observed in Vidcund’s and Lazlo’s, except their strong suits are Logic and Cooking respectively.

Huge discrepancies within performance in different cognitive areas is a common trait found in those on the autism spectrum. We’re often talking extremes here and the scale of the difference is the defining factor. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, it’s just in neurodivergent people those tend to be unusually noticeable.

I think that skills, simplified as they are, are the closest The Sims has to possibly simulate that because they track the character’s performance and expertise in different areas and allow comparison. In real life, of course, this comparison is not nearly as possible and exact, nor desired, but for all our analysis-loving enthusiasm, here we’re still talking fictional characters.

3: Struggle with social cues

It is widely known that one of autistic traits are difficulties with processing social situations, picking social cues and successfully replicating socially desired behavioral patterns.

But these three are Sims, are they not? They cannot possibly display this trait, since they’re programmed the same way as others.

Yes and no.

It is true that there is no specific in-game feature that would allow Sims to behave with explicit neurodivergency in mind* but with the right combination of traits they can simulate behavior that really hits close to home for neurodivergent players.

*at least not in TS2, TS3 has traits that simulate some possible neurodivergencies but their names tend to be rather... ableist unfortunate and they’re not relevant to this post since they’re not autism related, and even if they were, we’re focusing on TS2 exclusively

Let’s take look at Lazlo here. He is, indeed, a playful soul. He likes to goof around, tell jokes, make others laugh. And since he’s very close to his brother Vidcund, close enough even to Tell Dirty Joke (an interaction that needs quite a high relationship to unlock), he autonomously does just that.

And oh boy, does Vidcund disapprove.

From my personal experience playing them, their relationship usually takes quite a hit from every cheeky joke Lazlo throws Vid’s way. They usually autonomously repair it very quick but it happens often.

But that’s a standard behavior. Vidcund’s very serious, he doesn’t take well to jokes.

No. I mean technically yes, Vid is definitely a grumpy old plant dad but, at least in my game, he tends to accept Lazlo’s jokes. All kinds of them, actually, except for the dirty ones. And Pascal, who technically has even lower Playful points (0 in comparison to Vidcund’s 4), doesn’t seem to mind Lazlo’s poor attempts at grown-up humor.

But! What is it that makes Lazlo try still? What drives him to attempt to make Vidcund laugh with a dirty joke over and over again? (and fail?)

I my interpretation, Lazlo doesn’t do that on purpose, he is just really poor at evaluating “dirtiness” of a given joke and frequently misinterprets Vidcund’s cues. The animation of a dirty joke being rejected even supports that as Vid doesn’t signal his discomfort with any exaggerated easy-to-read facial expression until Lazlo gets to his punchline.

No only that but as I mentioned, the invisible lines between spicy and too vulgar are often hard to thread. I can recall many times I thought I was saying a witty quip on an “adult” topic and was met with awkward silence or someone shushing me because “that’s not how you speak in public”. I can well imagine myself in Lazlo’s shoes.

A situation of social cues being misinterpreted or ignored can be observed also in Vidcund. Programming-wise, those are just his low Niceness and extreme Shyness showing but combined they again paint a picture of a very neurodivergent-looking behavioral pattern.

He often behaves like the concept of politeness or social rules doesn’t exist because the combination of the aforementioned traits makes him come off very blunt (lecturing and shoving telescope-peepers with no warning whatsoever) and distant (having a high chance of rejecting simple small-talk socials).

(That’s Jasmine Rai casting the “Summon Vidcund” spell.)

Yes, I am fully aware that it makes a stronger case for him being an a**hole than autistic but... there’s no reason he can’t be both. Not all autistic people are sweet cinnamon buns, all personalities you can think of can be neurodiverse and, for some their neurodiversity can even amplify their inconsiderate ways, as I believe it is the case with our dear grouch Vidcund.

4. Their bios

“No matter what happens, Pascal believes there is a logical explanation for everything. In his free time, he practices home psychoanalysis and collects conspiracy theories.”

(that’s how I imagine practicing psychoanalysis looks like, sorry Freud)

“Serious and exact, Vidcund strives to fit the universe into a nice tidy package. He has an unnatural fondness for African violets.”

(let’s collectively pretend those are African violets)

“Not as studious as his older brothers, Lazlo got his degree in Phrenology. He likes to call phone psychics and spends hours trying to bend forks with his mind.”

*error: screenshot of Lazlo bending forks not found*

(but here he is hanging out with Erin Beaker, the closest thing to “calling phone psychics” you can actually do in-game)

Both Pascal’s and Vidcund’s bios point to a pattern-focused worldview with a strong emphasis on rationality as the center-point that anchors the way they understand the world around them and build their principles on. This “pattern-ization” of thinking is a common autistic trait, with rationality being a popular theme because emotions tend to be difficult to access and asses for many of us.

Lazlo’s biography is an outlier. But it still has something significant in common with those of his brothers: All three of their bios allude to a potential special interest of sorts.

Special interests as an autism-related term are very specific, in-depth and long-term hobbies or areas of expertise that make an autistic person happy and they tend to go to seemingly exhausting lengths, often at the cost of other areas of knowledge and most likely the person’s ability to talk about anything else for a long enough time. (a loving hyperbole, no disrespect meant) Mine are my characters and cats. An even more intense but a short(er)-term passion is called a hyperfixation.

Them potentially having a special interest is yet another possible autistic-coded feature.

5. Wait. Why does it matter?

Right. What does it matter if a Sim (A SIM) (or two or three) is autistic? What do I hope to achieve, pushing my autistic Curiouses agenda down your throats?

I got to write a long rant-piece about some of my favorite TS characters and I feel like I can finally die satisfied.

Apart from that and me sharing my happiness of finding some good pixels I can relate to, it is a matter of representation.

Remember by the very beginning I wrote how most of the representation our community gets in media tends to be just a one specific type of character?

And how the Curious brothers seem to fit the stereotype to a point?

There is something I omitted, something I saved for the last on purpose.

The role. The role in their story, the role in the society the piece of media portrays.

We often see neurodiverse, autistic or autistic-coded character as children, students, villains, lone savants, victims in distress, comedic relief sidekicks, either very vulnerable and needing protection, or detached and having their role defined only by their academic prowess or their special interest/profession.

What we rarely get to see them as, are... parents.

That’s what many of us autistics are or plan to be someday in the future. The dogma around autism has started to dwindle relatively recently and there are little to no examples of autistic adults being the care-givers for once in the media around us.

The Curious brothers are just that. They are chaotic, they are eccentric, they can be a little too much... but they are dutiful and loving fathers/uncles to their little aliens they raise.

They make it work. Even if they face difficulties, even if they don’t exactly fit the standard.

“Sometimes, a family truly can be three brothers raising alien babies, and it’s beautiful.”

It encourages us to define family by love rather than traditional structures and it shows us that portrait of a functional neurodiverse family we need to see.

And goodness, is it a powerful sight.

#the sims 2 #the sims #ts2 #simbrl #pascal curious #vidcund curious #lazlo curious #autism acceptence month #headcanon #actuallyautistic #autistic curiouses agenda #please someone take tumbrl from me

[variousqueerthings]

Tom Hardy Movies rated least to most queer

I made a list of some Tom Hardy movies and I rated them based on my own, non-specific criteria about what makes a movie queer. Results below the cut.

(Some films not included, because I haven’t watched them yet, because Mr Hardy’s only in them for a few minutes, because the subject matter doesn’t lend itself to this list, or because I just don’t want’em here. TV series also not included. The list is organised into both groups and ratings, because I’m doing The Most.)

Movies are divided into four groups and rated from 0 – 10 on the Queer-Scale, scroll down to the bottom if you want the ratings without the commentary.

Disclaimer: This list is subjective. Don’t come at me because I didn’t rate Inception higher, Nolan himself is as queer as cargo shorts. 

1. This movie would make more sense if it were queer

If this movie were queer it… might not become a perfect film all of a sudden, but it’d make a hell of a lot more sense than what’s actually going on. With an occasional dose of “are the cis-straights okay?”

This Means War (2012): So Chris Pine and Tom Hardy are ostensibly both in love with Reese Witherspoon, but say “I love you” to each other pretty much constantly throughout the movie and their friendship is often presented as a domestic partnership. Cool, cool, cooool.

Queer Rating: 2 out of 10. This movie hate-crimed me by having Tom Hardy literally spell out his relationship with Chris Pine, only for the script to then have him say… “can you imagine all that… but with a woman…” Later on the movie explicitly denies polyamory is possible. Fuck this film.

The Dark Knight Rises (2012): Batman movies should always be queer. Mr. Hardy’s the only one who acceptably camps it up, despite Nolan’s best attempts to make him “acceptably gruff.” No matter what you do, Bane is a massive daddy in a mask and thanks to Mr Hardy’s honestly iconic fucking speech pattern in this film, it goes from pretty atrociously straight to just queer enough to imagine a future where Robert Pattinson plays batman and maybe adopts a bunch of kids.

(the only truly decent mask in this franchise tbh)

Queer Rating: 3 out of 10. Mr Hardy’s back is the one that’s actually broken carrying any semblance of fun in this overly long movie all on his own.

Lawless (2012): Wow, this really was the year of the not-queer-enough, wasn’t it? Look, it’s “based on a real story,” but it’s also a movie and movies don’t need to stick to the truth, and this one certainly doesn’t. Was the guy queer in real life? I don’t know. But that doesn’t matter, what matters is that it’s just kind of an eh movie and maybe being queer would add something to it. One of those “but why make someone queer? because it’s always more interesting to do so,” movies.

Queer Rating: 3 out of 10. It’s just not queer. But Tom Hardy wears cardigans and described his character as a “mother figure,” which adds an interesting dynamic to him.

2. Actually Queer but in a homophobic way

Tom Hardy plays a canonically queer character, yaaay. The whole movie contains a strange sense of the director being too not-queer to actually engage with that and everything around him is almost aggressively straight, noooo.

RocknRolla (2008): Honestly this movie has the funniest coming out scene ever + that familiar undertone of “all these manly men secretly want to fuck each other” is only heightened by one of them actually being gay and in love with his best friend. It’s such a fucking… it’s such a movie. Personally I find Mark Strong, Idris Elba, Thandie Newton, and, of course, Tom Hardy to be really hot in it, so that’s a plus. There’s a scene in which Strong’s character teaches another gangster how to do a proper backhand. It’s really gay of him. Also slow-dancing at a gay club. Butler’s character needs to get himself together, you really don’t think 2008 Tom Hardy is hot? Mate.

(left to right: functional queer, disaster queer, distinguished queer)

Queer Rating: 6 out of 10, for having an actual gay character who is played by Tom Hardy doing a sexy phonecall voice to another guy, but then there’s that feeling you can’t shake that the whole movie is vaguely uncomfortable about it, like a family member awkwardly patting you on the shoulder after they found out you were queer second-hand, but they’ve still got 50 years of bias to unlearn. Also Thandie Newton is killed, fuck that noise. 

Legend (2015): If I had a nickle for the amount of times Tom Hardy’s played a gay gangster, I’d have two nickles. Which isn’t a lot, but weird that it happened twice (looks at Peaky Blinders and thinks it ought to be three times). I’ve watched Legend three times and every time it just… loses me. And because this is a biased list, I’ll only specifically mention that it fails to make Ron’s queerness anything but a way for him to shock others. Gangsters could be gay? Gasp! On the upside Tom Hardy has so much sexual tension with everyone in this movie, including himself (why would you do that? Asks Ron, bemused. Because I can’t kill you, no matter how much I fucking want to, hisses a blood-soaked Reggie right into his ear. It’s hot).

Queer rating: 5 out of 10 because the film is just not very queer for a movie with several queer men in it.

3. Straight as a forced family dinner

It’s straight.

Locke (2013): He’s a married man who had an affair and trying to deal with the fallout of it. This isn’t a spoiler for most of the movie, it’s a pretty neat movie where we look at Tom Hardy having a bit of a mental breakdown and taking lots of phonecalls (my personal hell). Is it queer? Not in the slightest.

Queer Rating: 2 out of 10 for Hardy’s face being in almost every shot.

The Revenant (2015): Yeah, yeah, DeCaprio’s and Hardy’s characters are obsessed with each other, yeah it’s a man’s world where the only women are dead wife, kidnapped sexually assaulted native princess, or background whore, yeah, they fight each other and there’s a ton of grunting, but also… I just fucking don’t like this movie. The thin line where a storyline like this one becomes queer might be crossed for others, but not for me. Fuck these guys and their stupid  bear fights.

Queer rating: 3 out of 10 for it being about dirty men in the middle of nowhere (but you could just watch Brokeback Mountain or The Lighthouse or God’s Own Country or any Mad Max, or, or, or…)

4. Queer? Queer. Queer? … Queer…

The plots, aesthetics and/or characters played by Tom Hardy lend themselves to a queer reading, even if there is no overt intention towards queerness. Often this is because of a deliberate lack of heterosexual and/or cisgender writing, which in this day and age is still pretty uncommon not to include within a plot.

Inception (2010): Okay, I don’t even need to write about the added “darling,” or the “go to sleep Mr Eames.” I don’t need to go on about the absolutely bonkers amount of fanfiction written for Eames and Arthur, based on a few minutes of film and a boatload of chemistry. It’s queer.

Queer Rating: 7 out of 10, because the actual plot of the film isn’t very queer, but between the Arthur/Eames dynamic and Elliot Page, Nolan was really given a gift he didn’t deserve.

Warrior (2011): Okay, so first off, this might be my favourite Tom Hardy film, at least some part of my brain is fixated on it at almost all times and I’m considering watching it for the third time in two weeks. I don’t only consider it queer based on Mr. Hardy’s character, although he has no romantic or sexual interest and could be read as aroace, but because of the themes, especially those surrounding said character, who is coded as a caregiver to women and through close emotional connections to men. It’s got possibly unintentional deconstructions of masculinity and two men (brothers) who need to forgive each other and can only do so through the catharsis of violence. It speaks to me as a transmasc with several cis brothers, struggling with my own masculinity. It’s not at all written for me, but I find myself all over it. I could talk about this movie forever.

Queer Rating: 8 out of 10. I’m not allowed to say any more or I’ll never stop writing about it. I love you Tommy…

The Drop (2014): Bob’s lack of sexual and/or romantic interest in Naomi is so strange to her that she doesn’t know what he would want from her otherwise. Bob really just wants to raise a dog with her (and also forgiveness for past sins). Bob is such a rare ace and possibly aro coded character, it really throws me every time I watch this film how obvious it is. Bonus points for also being autistic-coded and not in the stereotypical ways.

(Tom Hardy’s most challenging role: pretending he doesn’t know dogs)

Queer Rating: 9 out of 10 because it’s so fucking rare to see ace and aro coded characters that aren’t, you know…. serial killers. Also Tom Hardy adopts a puppy and has a very cute, kinda lispy voice. How often does Tom Hardy play softer men like this?

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015): Very deliberately no sexual or romantic writing included in Max’s and Furiosa’s relationship. Sure, there’s not a lot of time for that in the post-apocalyptic wasteland, but it was also done with a purpose! “It was always going to be two warriors on par, starting off with very little respect for each other and ending up with a massive respect for each other.” - Charlize Theron. “So of course they meet, of course there’s a relationship, an unspoken understanding. A recognition.” - Tom Hardy.

Queer Rating: 9 out of 10. It’s not just the characters, but the world and it’s apocalyptic BDSM leather scene, the questions it asks about sustainability and about people as tools, and the found family. It’s about overcoming violence through multiple kinds of love. And it’s about watching a guy playing flame-thrower guitar. What could be queerer?

Venom (2018): Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same… No, but Eddie is queer. The only question is whether the sequel will acknowledge that aspect or not, but even if not. Even if it manages to straightly bypass the reality of a symbiotic relationship with a genderless? genderfluid? being from another world that is linked to you down to your very cells and understands you more intimately than any other person possibly could… even if all that: Eddie is queer. Venom and Eddie are in a relationship. Any relationship Eddie ever enters into will automatically become a thrupple. He makes out with Venom in the movie! Eddie is queer.

(aw yeah that tongue is going down his throat)

Queer Rating: 9.5 out of 10, because it’s still coded by the creators in the language of bromance (hey, bro, is it gay if we’re physically and emotionally closer than any other people on earth?), but the movie is so, so camp and Mr Hardy’s acting choices are beautiful – the screaming? The lispy soft voice and lack of taking up space? The lobster tank? The only people who don’t know how queer this is are the people making it apparently. Fingers crossed for that sequel!

Hon. mentions:

Star Trek: Nemesis (2002): Star Trek – even at it’s worst (especially at its worst?) – is camp af + Hardy is a straight-up baby in this film.

Bronson (2008): It’s about a real person who’s still alive, so I won’t comment on the actual man. However the film seems to code the character Bronson along an ace line and also has genderqueering Vaudeville. Someone let Tom Hardy do more of whatever was going on in those stage-bits.

(this right here: this the good shit)

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011): Another ensemble piece not massively about Hardy’s character, but it’s a movie that centers around queerness in a strange, depressing way. Tom Hardy’s character isn’t queer. Colin Firth and Mark Strong are though. The book makes me cry.

Peaky Blinders (2013-): Because it’s a TV series I left it out. There’s a lot of straight nonsense going on there, but Alfie Solomens is gay. There’s nothing in the series that disputes that and plenty that lends itself to the reading.

Dunkirk (2017): Tom Hardy plays an RAF pilot in a deep emotional connection with the other main RAF pilot. That’s immediately gay. However he’s not in the movie much because of the way it’s constructed, so I left it off.

Queer Ratings (least to most)

No queer to be found here traveller:

This Means War: 2 out of 10 - illegal movie, Tom Hardy swore he wouldn’t do another rom-com after

Locke: 2 out of 10 - straight Welshman and his straight problems. He pretty though

Lawless: 3 out of 10 - cardigan-Hardy being a mother-hen, but very straight for all that

The Dark Knight Rises: 3 out of 10 - a superhero movie that doesn’t deserve Mr Hardy’s camp talents (unlike Venom)

The Revenant: 3 out of 10 - doesn’t give me what I want out of a movie full of dirty, bearded men

Queer but we deserve more:

Legend: 5 out of 10 - timid homosexuality, considering the source material. 

RocknRolla: 6 out of 10 - hey bro, is it gay if we kill the only female lead in our massive ensemble cast

The queerest of Hardy’s:

Inception: 7 out of 10 - Elliot Page and JGL kissing was an all-around terrible choice that made no sense, we know the truth, Nolan

Warrior: 8 out of 10 - I’m still crying, Edgerton’s crying, Hardy’s crying, we’re all crying, and I think that’s really emotionally healthy and queer of us

Mad Max: Fury Road: 9 out of 10 - non-romantic love in the time of BDSM post-apocalyptic wastelands is something that can actually be so personal

The Drop: 9 out of 10 - “Fucking punk. Go out to dinner dressed like you're still in you living room! You wear those big hippity-hoppity clown shoes! You speak to women terribly! You treat them despicably! You hurt harmless dogs that can't defend themselves! I'm tired of you man. I'm tired of you. You embarrass me!”

Venom: 9.5 out of 10 - Sometimes a relationship is an anxious reporter, the sentient goo inhabiting his body, his kinda-ex-girlfriend and her new doctor boyfriend, and I think that’s beautiful

#tom hardy #mad max: fury road #venom 2018 #inception #rocknrolla #warrior 2011 #legend 2015 #the drop 2014 #the revenant #the dark knight rises #lawless 2012 #locke #this means war

[drwcn]

chengqing modern “Mr. & Mrs. Smith” au: 

Get a cover they said. It’ll be fun they said. You don’t actually have to love the person they said. Boy meets girl. Boy finds girl pretty. Girl finds boy tolerable. Boy and girl are both professional contract killers in need of covers. Boy and girl get married. Problem? They work for competing firms.....and nobody bothered to do a background check.

At counselling: 

JC: k, I’ll go first. Lemme say eh...we don’t really need to be here. So we’ve been married 5 years.

WQ: Six. 

JC: .....right. Five or six years. And this is like a check up for us. A chance to poke around the engine, maybe change the oil, replace a seal or two.

Counsellor LXC: ...very well then. Let’s pop the hood. 

On the scale of 1 to 10 how happy are you as a couple? 

WQ *resolute*: 8. 

JC: wait, 10 being perfectly happy? And 1 being totally miserable or??? 

LXC: just respond instinctively. 

JC: okay..... 

JC&WQ: 8. 

How often do you have sex? 

WQ: I don’t understand the question. 

JC: Yeah I’m lost, is this a one to ten thing? 

WQ: Because is 1 very little or is 1 nothing? Because technically, technically speak....0 would be nothing. 

LXC: ....how about this week?  

JC&WQ: ..........................................................

In which Jiang Cheng works for Lotus Pier and Wen Qing works for Nevernight. Jiang Cheng is a “big time contractor” and Wen Qing runs a “IT server company” downtown. They live in a 3000 sqr feet house in the rich suburbs and their neighbors are all ordinary (annoying) families with 2.5 kids and a picket fence. Everything is “fine” in their lackluster sham of a marriage until they’re sent to kill a common target. And then shit hits the fan. 

JC trips and fires a bullet through WQ’s windshield. *oh shit*: “Honey, accident. It was an accident -” WQ: *pissed, floors it*  JC :“Wen Qing stop the car!!”  WQ: *hits him with the car* 

///////////////// JC *shows up at WWX’s house, roughed up after being hit by WQ’s car*  WWX (JC’s good bro also contract killer): jfc, what the hell happened to you?! JC: ...............my wife. 

/////////////////

Miamian: Wait......... your husband is the shooter? That’s impossible!  WQ: *deadpans* really? 

WWX is the chillest guy in JC’s department, but he’s deadly. He’s verrrry picky with his assignments but because he’s literally Death reincarnate with a man-bun, their boss Yu Ziyuan (no one’s mom in this au) just about tolerates him. Everyone also knows WWX’s cover husband is his real husband, and if anyone so much as think about hurting a hair on LWJ’s precious music-prodigy head, WWX will pull their intestines out from their esophagus and use it to make the strings on LWJ’s guqin. LWJ was a child music prodigy but decided to go into classics academia (think Kevin from B99) and teaches at a university. He knows WWX is not in fact “a bartender”, but doesn’t press too much about WWX’s real job. 

JC is hiding out with WWX bc WQ is out to get his ass (they're charged with taking each other out in 48 hours), and WWX is pacing around with a shotgun. LWJ calls from upstairs, "Wei Ying- ” WWX startles and cocks his gun, "LAN-ER-GEGE, I LOVE YOU BUT WE'RE ON HIGH ALERT HERE. I ALMOST KILLED YOU RIGHT THERE YOU DO NOT EVEN KNOW!!"  LWJ: ............nevermind. 

WQ’s department is filled with badass ladies, JGY, and NHS. You have Qin Su the hacker. You have MianMian the sniper. Have you Sisi their admin clerk who keeps shit under control. 

WQ talking through security feed, about to blow up the elevator JC is in: "Five, four, any last words?" JC, crossing his arm, "The new curtains you got were ugly." WQ >_> "Goodbye Jiang Cheng." JGY *presses detonate* The elevator explodes. WQ: 😨😱 “What the hell was that!???”  JGY: ..........what? You said goodbye. 

But....then when they finally get together for real: 

WQ: "A-Cheng, my parents, they died when I was 8, I'm an orphan." JC: "Then who was that guy that gave you away at our wedding??" WQ: "Paid actor." JC: "I said!!! I said I saw your dad as an extra on Nirvana in Fire!"  WQ: "I know....."

JC: "I can't believe I brought my real sister to the wedding."

////*five minutes later*/////

JC: "Hey, so, I gotta tell you, I was married once before." WQ: ....... WQ: "What's her name and social security number?" JC: "No, you're not gonna kill her." 

#cql #the untamed #chengqing #jiang cheng #wen qing #qingcheng

[hellomynameisbisexual]

There is no one universal sign of bisexuality in males. All men are different whether they are bisexual, gay, straight, or asexual. There may be a few common traits but these traits may wildly vary from person to person. In this blog post we will briefly summarise sexuality, explore what to do if you, or your partner is bisexual, and then outline a few common signs of bisexuality in males.

What is sexuality?

Sexuality is not about who you have sex with, or how often you have it. Sexuality, or sexual orientation, describes the types of thoughts, and feelings, that an individual has for others.

What is bisexual?

A bisexual person is someone who can be romantically attracted, or sexually attracted to both men and women.

How do I know if I am bisexual?

In 1948, Dr Alfred Kinsey created the world-famous Kinsey Scale. Kinsey believed that sexuality was not binary. Instead, he suggested that sexuality should be viewed as a spectrum with everybody having their own place on the scale. On one end of the scale there is exclusive heterosexuality. On the other end of the scale, there is exclusive homosexuality. People exist somewhere between 0 and 6. The full scale is below.

0 – Exclusively heterosexual

1 – Predominantly heterosexual

2 – Mainly heterosexual but sometimes homosexual

3 – Bisexual

4 – Mainly homosexual but sometimes heterosexual

5 – Predominantly homosexual

6 – Exclusively homosexual

As you can see from Dr Kinsey’s scale, categories 2, 3 and 4 would all be classified as ‘bisexuality’. This means that if you feel as equally attracted to men, as you do women, or mostly attracted to one sex but are occasionally attracted to the other sex, you could still self identity as being bisexual. There is nothing abnormal about not being equally attracted to both sexes. In fact, the massive 2013 Pew Research LGBT Survey found that over 80% of bisexuals in committed relationships were with somebody of the opposite sex. Some bisexual men may have a preference for men whilst other’s might have a stronger preference for women. Both are completely normal!

Should I come out as bisexual?

Coming out as a bisexual man can often be just as challenging as coming out as gay. Insensitive comments about bisexual men being ‘greedy’, ‘indecisive’ or ‘wanting to have their cake, and eat it’ are sometimes made when a bisexual man comes out. Moreover, the depictions of bisexual men in the media are rarely positive. They tend to perpetuate negative stereotypes around promiscuity. Therefore it’s no wonder why Stonewall data shows that just 14% of bisexuals are open to everyone in their family, while 32% say they can’t be open about their sexual orientation with any of their friends.

Despite all of this, coming out can be extremely liberating. For many bisexual men a weight is lifted if their shoulders, and the finally feel able to be themselves after coming out. However, before coming out it’s important to make sure that you are in a safe environment, or can get to one. This is vital if you are young, or in a vulnerable position.

How do I come out as bisexual?

There is no one predefined way to come out. For some men it can be incredibly smooth. For other men, it can be messy. You may feel comfortable being open about your sexual orientation and gender identity with some people, but not with others.

The one common experience all queer men share when coming out is that they have to do it over and over again. LGBT individuals do not come out once. They are constantly ‘coming out’ to new friends, extended family, new co-workers, and sometimes strangers on the internet!

Before actually telling anybody, take a few moments to consider – who you want to tell first, and how. Many bisexual men tell a supportive friend first, and then move onto telling other friends, and family afterwards. However, you may wish to tell a parent first over the phone, or in a letter if you feel that they could be the least receptive upon hearing the news.

Your family might be shocked, worried or find it difficult to accept at first. But remember, their first reaction isn’t necessarily how they will feel forever. In time, most families see beyond their son’s sexuality and continue loving them regardless. They might just need a bit of time to process the revelation.

What are the signs of bisexuality in males?

As mentioned at the start of this blog post, there is no one universal sign of bisexuality in males. All men are different whether they are bisexual, gay, heterosexual , or asexual. However, these are a few of the most common examples as identified by experts and bisexual men who have reflected on their journey to sexual freedom.

Past Behaviour

Past behaviour can be a key indicator of bisexuality. If a man has voluntarily engaged in same-sex sexual experiences at any point in their lifetime it could suggest that they may be bisexual. This could be as small as a passionate kiss at university, or mutual masturbation in the army, or evem anal sex whilst under the influence of alcohol. Despite identifying as ‘straight’ during, and following these acts, this behaviour suggests that there is at least a small degree of same-sex attraction. On the Kinsey Scale, a man like this could be predominantly heterosexual (category 1), or mainly heterosexual but sometimes homosexual (category 2). Remember, the categories on the Kinsey Scale are fluid and can change constantly.

Homophobic Behavior

Modern society is more liberal now that it ever has been. Many men may not understand homosexuality, but they understand that who somebody chooses to sleep with should not matter to them. However, some bisexual men who haven’t come out may be extremely homophobic. This behaviour is directly linked to years of sexual repression. Sometimes closeted bisexual men feel that by being homophobic their friends and family will not realise that they themselves are not completely heterosexual. This homophobia can manifest itself in passive ways through the use of derogatory slang in the presence of others, or become more extreme. Gay bashing, and aggression towards other men who are perceived to be gay are just two examples of this.

Fantasies about other men

Every man wishes that they could be somebody else now and again. Who wouldn’t want to have David Beckham’s right foot, or a body like David Gandy? For bisexual men, these thoughts become sexual fantasies. Not only that, but a bisexual man might even fantasise about men they see on the street, or on the internet. That man with the joggers you just walked past could consume your thoughts for hours!

Tactile with other men

If you’re reading this as a woman, think about whether your partner is tactile with you? Men regularly touch each other when they shake hands, hug, or hi-5. However, a bisexual man may be especially tactile with other men. Some examples are frequent arm touching and leg stroking. Your partner may even offer to massage his male friends’ shoulders. In isolation these actions are fairly innocuous. However, if your partner regularly does this, or seems to find it particularly pleasurable then this could be another sign of bisexuality.

Disinterest in sex

When a man appears increasingly disinterested in heterosexual intimacy, there is a small chance that it could be because they are bisexual. The chance is small because they could also be having an affair, or be in love with another woman.

However, if you are in a relationship with a man that you think could be bisexual, this would be one of the more obvious signs. It’s not uncommon for men who have been in a monogamous relationship with a woman for several years to become dissatisfied over time. Instead, they may yearn to spend time with a man due to their innate sexual desire, or past behaviours.

Spending more time with attractive men at a sports club, at work, or at bars could be a short term fix for them. Pressuring their female spouse into trying pegging, or anal play could also be a short term solution. However, this may not be enough for them moving forwards.

Staring intensely at other men

man doing a workout

Humans can’t help but stare at people. Where do you think the phrase ‘people-watching’ came from? Sometimes people stare out of sheer admiration, or horror. Sometimes people stare out of lust. Either way, if you can’t help but stare at other men and compliment them then it’s a sign that you could be bisexual.

But if you find yourself only staring at men who are more muscular, or taller than you, and you have always had hang-ups about your size, then this staring could purely be linked to insecurities. Only you can tell which scenario applies most accurately to you!

Watching gay porn

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Conciously choosing to watch gay porn between two consenting men is a sign that you may be bisexual. Porn categories are organised in such a way that you actively have to seek out gay porn videos, as opposed to just coming across them as you woud any other heterosexual category. When watching gay porn if you find yourself getting aroused, or wishing that you could trade places with the actors then it’s quite likely that you could be bisexual.

Sex feels right with men and women

If you have had sex with men and women, and found the experiences to be equally intimate and enjoyable then this could mean that you are bisexual. For most homosexual men (category 5 or 6 on the Kinsey Scale), the thought of sleeping with a woman is inconcievable. The same is true for heterosexual men (category 0 or 1 on the Kinsey Scale) if you asked them to consider sleeping with another man.

These are just 8 of the signs of bisexuality in males. However, as we’ve said previously, there are very few hard and fast signs that make it obvious. Only the man in question can know his true thoughts and feelings – and that’s okay!

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