#but not the development we really deserved

[pickingupmymercedes]

I'd like to believe - Lewis Hamilton

Alternative sequel to Maybe in another life / When I get to meet you

pairing: Lewis Hamilton x Reader!

warnings: mentions of mourning, angst, will make you emotional

wordcount: +1K

a/n: Alternative-ish ending (this was actually my first draft to continue their story, so the happy-ish one is the alternative, sort of).

As always, I'm open for feedback, come say hi!

MILD TRIGGERING CONTENT UNDER, PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

______________________________________________________________

My dearest little one,

Today marks ten years since you should have been here, celebrating another year of life. Ten times the snow has fallen, making everything quiet outside.

They say time heals all cuts, but some cuts go real deep, leaving scars that never quite go away. And I still find it hard to believe that a whole decade has passed.

You'd be so grown now, so full of life and curiosity, brimming with questions and dreams. I often wonder what you'd be like – would you have my stubbornness and determination, or your mother's grace and patience?

Maybe a beautiful blend of both, creating someone truly unique.

I’m going to visit your stone again later today. Leave this letter like every year. I suspect there’ll be fresh flowers, as always, probably from your mother.

She never forgets.

We never reconnected, not like I'd hoped for. But I think about her often.

I searched everywhere for her. I just really needed someone to share the pain with, someone to hold onto while everything fell apart. We tried talking, spilling out all our feelings, but the words wouldn't come out right. Maybe we were afraid of saying the wrong thing or making things worse.

Maybe we were both thinking the same thing – maybe if we'd done things differently, maybe you'd still be here.

After a while, the space between us just kept getting bigger, too big to cross. You see, your mom, she found a way to move on. She built a life for herself, a life where the pain was still there, but it didn't control her anymore.

I hope she's found peace and happiness, something she deserved more than anyone. She was an incredible woman, and I wish I had been the man she needed me to be.

I hope she reads these letters someday, that she understands how much I loved you both, how much I regret not being there when you needed me most.

Maybe one day, when the weight of these years starts to feel a little lighter, I can finally forgive myself.

Maybe then, I can find the strength to reach out to her, not to get back together, but to find some peace, a simple way to say thank you for the love we shared and sorry for the loss that tore us apart.

You know, life has changed quite a bit since I last wrote to you.

I'm with someone, have been for the past four years. She's patient, kind and knows about you. I don't think we'll ever have children though. She's got her own ghosts.

I retired from racing. Shortly after I won my eighth championship with Ferrari. It was a dream come true, but also bittersweet because I couldn't share it with you. I work as a consultant for the team now, just like Niki was for me at Mercedes. You’d have loved him.

It's a different kind of thrill, guiding the next generation of racers, helping them navigate the same challenges I once faced, but it drives me forward.

I’d like to believe you’d be proud of your old man for that.

I sometime wonder if you would have been drawn to racing too, or maybe you'd have found your passion in something entirely different. Whatever it might have been, I would have supported you every step of the way and with all my heart.

I think about the things you'd enjoy often; you know?! The hobbies and interests you'd develop.

Maybe you'd love music, like your mother. She had an incredible ear for it, always humming a tune or singing softly to herself. It’s what got us close in the first place so many years ago.

Perhaps you'd have a knack for building things, creating something out of nothing with your hands and imagination.

Either way, I hope you'd have found joy in the simple things, just like I try and do now.

There's so much I wish I could’ve shared with you. So many lessons I've learned the hard way and would to show you. Life isn't always easy, my little one. It's filled with ups and downs, triumphs and failures.

One of the most important things I wish I could’ve taught you is the value of love. Real love, the kind that fills your heart and soul, and is worth every bit of pain and sacrifice.

I had that with your mother, even if I didn't realize it at the time. She saw right through me, saw the man behind the driver, and loved me for who I was. I'd hope you'd find someone like that, someone who understands and loves you unconditionally.

It might hurt sometimes, but that's how you know it's real. Love isn't always easy, but it's the most beautiful thing.

I would want you to know that it's okay to make mistakes though. I made plenty, and each one taught me something valuable. The key is to learn from them, to grow and become a better person. But each moment, whether good or bad, shapes who you are.

I wish I could have been there to guide you through it all, to help you navigate the challenges and celebrate the victories. My motto has been “Still I Rise” for the longest time and if you wanted it could’ve been yours as well.

Life isn't about being perfect; it's about being true to yourself and striving to be the best version of you.

In the quieter moments I still dream about you, you know. In my dreams, you're a whirlwind of energy, your laughter filling the air. We go on adventures, explore the world together. I teach you what I know, and you teach me about everything else.

Those dreams are my sanctuary, a place where we can be together, even if just for a moment.

Sometimes, I catch myself talking to you out loud, as if you were right beside me. I tell you about my day, about the races, about the world. It might sound silly, but it brings me comfort. It's my way of keeping you close, of making sure you're never forgotten.

Even though we never got to meet, you are a part of me, and I carry you in my heart every day.

You are my greatest loss, but also my greatest gift. You've taught me more about love than anything else in this world.

Sometimes, under a sky full of stars, I imagine you up there with the constellations, looking down at me with curious eyes. And I need you to know that we love you still, deeply and unconditionally.

Ten years old. A whole person with your own personality, dreams, and wishes.

The world missed out on knowing you, and so did I.

But your memory, my precious child, it lives on. It lives on in the way I cherish every moment, every sunrise, every laugh shared with a friend. It lives on in the way I try to be a better person, kinder, someone who would have been a good dad to you.

This letter is my vow written down. A promise that even though you're not here, you'll never be forgotten.

Happy birthday, my sweet child. I hope, wherever you are, you're smiling, knowing that you are loved and cherished.

You are my light, my angel and a part of me. And though the path I walk may be lonely sometimes, I carry you and your mom with me in my heart, always.

With all the love that would have filled a lifetime.

Dad.

______________________________________________________________

TAGLIST - @saturnssunflower @xoscar03 @chocolatediplomatdreamerzonk @happy-golden-hour @vicurious28

@0710khj @thecubanator2 @neilakk @bigratbitchsworld @adriswrld

@fearfam69691 @cmleitora @goldenroutledge

If you’d like to be added to my taglist you can leave a comment or send me a dm/ask.

#lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton x you #lewis hamilton imagine #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #lewis hamilton #formula 1 #f1 fanfic #f1 fic

[hacked-by-jake]

To be honest, you can disagree with me, of course. And I absolutely don't want to attack anyone.

But there are circling Screenshots of things other studios said about Everbyte.

And while I definitely can understand critism, I don’t like the way they make jokes about them. Very unprofessional.

And whether they like it or not, they are really lucky that Everbyte exists. Because Duskwood was the game that made this scene, indie games, popular in the first place. When I started Duskwood, there were only games that were released after Duskwood came out.

And as we know, there are many games that have been, let's say... "inspired" by Duskwood.

I don’t want to say their games are bad. Absolutely not.

But Duskwood is by far the most popular game in the scene. And the success that Duskwood brought.. try to keep up.

Also... glass house and stones and... You never know what is going to happen in the future. And as other developer studios.. No one thought that this here, the critism, would ever happen. But it happened. And the same can happen to everyone else. Even if you could never imagine this yet.

Okay, I said it before, I don’t want to spread hate here, I just wanted to make my point clear.

This here is about serious criticism. It's not a joke or anything. Give constructive feedback to Everbyte. This is how they can learn. And they deserve this criticism.

But right now, it's a wave of hate and it seems to catch lots of people who just jump in and participate.

I'm sorry. I truly don't want to offend anyone. But this here is not a trend. And for other developers definitely no opportunity to eliminate the competition. As for me, it's makes me even more unwilling to play there games when I see how they talk about other devolpers.

As I said, critism is absolutely fine. But please, keep in mind we're still talking about 3 people here. Real people. Hate is shit and won't make anything better.

And I feel like this flood makes people more and more mad. And I don't know if that's how it should work. If every post you read increases the level of your mood even more negative, maybe you shouldn't read more.

I say this because it really feels like it. People criticised and the more people left their criticism, the angrier some got. And that's not how it should be.

Talk about the problems, post about them, leave your opinion. But stay constructive and especially be careful that you don't fall into the flood of other people's anger. That should not affect you. Your time deserves to be spent better.

As I said, I don’t want to attack anyone with it. And I do understand the frustration and sadness about all of this.

But still, I mean of course I also want to share my opinion. But I also want to try and remind people of the real problem here.

Thank you, once again, for reading. 💚

#hbj talks #hbj mv x dw talks #duskwood #moonvale #everbyte studio #everbyte game

[child-of-helios]

hello. I've a rather stupid question. I've only read the books once, as a kid, and I don't understand why people hate calpyso x leo. whys it so bad? why does everyone seems to hate it on here?

xxx,

eurydice

First of all, this is my first ever ask, I've made it mother :D Secondly, I'd gladly explain! Though please note that it really has been a good while since I've read the books too, so my memory is kinda foggy :] Warnings for: Slight mentions (but not too much) of rape, pedophilia and mental illness (oh boy this is a tough one)

So, I have made a post abt this before, but it was written in a fit of rage so not my proudest moment (but my most popular post, oops). Anyways, I feel that the hate towards Calypso x Leo is because of a few reasons. 1. It simply didn't get enough development to feel worth it imo. Similar to Jason x Piper, I felt like there wasn't enough there to warrant a canon ship. There is also the fact that personally, I thought that their dynamic was more of a familial or that of siblings, which made me uncomfortable. I would've much rather have them be friends. 2. The uncomfortable age gap. It feels very weird because while yes, Calypso was depicted as a teenager, she is thousands upon thousands of years old. The fact that she fell in love with a literal child is incredibly weird. It was weird enough with Percy, but at least they didn't end up dating. With Leo though, she did end up dating him and the age gap feels very odd. Its even weirder knowing she had a relationship with Odysseus, who by that point was a pretty old dude so she was probably very mature and an adult (though she doesn't act like it). 3. Calypso is kinda a rapist. In the Odyssey myth, she forces Odysseus (a married man) to sleep with her. I'm sorry, but I can't support any relationship involving a rapist unless its rapist x prison cell. It makes me uncomfortable because she could very well take advantage of Leo, a mentally ill teenager with self-esteem issues. 4. Her toxic treatment of Leo. Calypso was very pissed when Leo arrived on her island, rightfully so after what she had gone through, but even then her treatment of his was outright cruel, especially compared to that of Percy and Odysseus. She made him sleep outside, exposing him to the elements after he got flung through the air and ended up on her island, which must've caused some damage. Then after they started dating, I still felt uncomfortable reading about the two, because their dynamic just didn't work, and I don't recall her apologizing to him for her treatment of him. 5. Leo's arc was thrown away. I think the worst of all, is how this impacted Leo's character. He should've had an arc where he learnt to love himself, but because of Calypso he didn't. I think the moral was supposed to be: 'even if you're mentally ill or have problems, you still deserve love!' but it came over more as: 'ignore your issues and get all your love from someone else.' Isn't it more important for kids to learn about self-love? And as an extra: what could've been. I think that Leo shouldn't have gone back for Calypso, that that ship shouldn't have happened. I prefer him going back to Echo and them learning about self-love together as buddies (and maybe evolving into more than that). Echo was stuck in an abusive relationship with the Narcissist, so I think it would a good arc for them both. I also think that if you really wanted a romance, Jason x Leo would've been much better. We know that Rick can write good gay romances, we know that Piper turns out to be a lesbian, so why not make Jason and Leo gay? I think it would add much more to the tragedy of Jason's death, but that's for another post (and this one is getting too long already oops). In conclusion, I think Caleo is bad for many reasons, but especially because it didn't have enough time to develop and the dynamic was simply too creepy for me to get invested in. Sorry for the super long post- Have a lovely day :D

#pjo #percy jackon and the olympians #leo valdez #heroes of olympus #hoo #percy jackson #anti calypso #anti caleo #calypso #rick riordan #jason grace #leo x jason #odysseus #the odyssey

[punkeropercyjackson]

Pjo characters as tropes

Percy:The cool hot alt girl who's super resourceful and experienced and the Team Mom and has a snarky and sour outside with a big gooey inside(She's trans)

Annabeth:The black girlgenius who's really intense and does her best to be nice but sadly dosen't always get it right due to not being taught how to

Grover:The 'wimpy' male sidekick who is emasculated by other guys and is actually a total badass and a sweet dude,just not traditionally masculine and is mocked for it

Clarisse:The mega rough and tough tomboy that starts off as the mean girl but gets redeemed as we learn she's only like that as a child abuse defense mechanism and befriends our mc thanks to softening up

Thalia:The mysterious girl who's talked of cryptically and positively by everybody due to haunting the narrative who we get to meet face to face in a sequel starring her

Bianca:The parentified eldest child who dies for their younger sibling's reverse character development and influences their whole life afterwards

Nico:The soft sunshine boy who's beyond optimistic but also a little shit who runs his mouth,is powerful as fuck,platonic soulmates with the aformentioned salty sweet hot alt girl and has self-identity problems from his starter plot

Rachel:The neurotic frizzy ultra weirdgirl who's not a pick me but rather surprisingly likable and genuinely an activist instead of a racist poser hippie

Beckendorf:The older black male mentor who dosen't get nearly enough screentime due to antiblackness and got an undeserved fate

Silena:The older,wiser girl who's chill and also mentors but in girl things specifically(Percy in her transition,not debutchifying Clarisse)

Ethan:The token developed goon to the Big Villain who's a lot more interesting than them and has way more chemistry with the mc too but is somehow the less popular ship

Jason:The Golden Retriever Boy most popular guy who's a legit example of positive and healthy masculinity that gets (correctly) called a nerd by the cool girls

Piper:The Girls Girl Tomboy that has at home struggles but goes on a journey where she makes real friends and has her queer awakening

Leo:The goofy lil guy who's riddled with sadness and self-hatred but puts on a show to avoid confronting his trauma and gets it resolved with the platonic love he's always deserved(He was done so fucking dirty)

Drew:The Queen Bee with a hidden heart of gold who's a misandrist because she's actually a lesbian in denial and flirts by being antagonistic cause she dosen't know how else to

Hazel:The creepy cute goth middle school girl with wild ass abilities that're specifically to help the plot along and is treated specially by everybody because she's the baby of the cast

Frank:The jittery nervous dude who's nonetheless tough and packs a punch contrary to what the villains think and earns everyone's respect by proving himself as such

Reyna:The 'no nonsense' girl that's perfect but at a dehumanizing level rather than self-confidence and refuses to let her image go because without it,what is she?Just like everyone else?Unacceptable and unacchivable to her

#pjo #percy jackson #transfem percy jackson #annabeth chase #leah is our annabeth #leahbeth #grover underwood #clarisse la rue #thalia grace #bianca di angelo #nico di angelo #rachel elizabeth dare #charles beckendorf #silena beauregard #ethan nakamura #jason grace #piper mclean #leo valdez #drew tanaka #hazel levesque #frank zhang #reyna avila ramírez arellano #black big three kids #blasian grover #nigerian rachel dare #muslim silena beauregard #destroya and her protectors(jercy/percethan) #trans autistic swag #summerposting #nico and percy

[jesncin]

Honestly, you are like the most based person ever. A Martian Manhunter fan and a MAWS critic? F YEAH!

I'm so disappointed with MAWS' Lois :( Her romance with Clark could've been so good. SO GOOD. But they decided to go for fan service instead. She just gives off Lena (from cwsg) vibes and that's never a good thing.

Speaking of Supergirl, what's your opinion on the show? And on the show's portrait of J'onn. It baffles me how much hate the show got for the same things fans are willing to overlook now on MAWS. Aren't those some double standards, geez...

Aw shucks thank you! 2 incredibly niche but based things to be...

Sob! Call it the ace in me but whenever people think MAWS!Clois have chemistry because they're easily amused by seeing hot characters undress I lose life force. I didn't witness a couple that grew mutual respect and affection, I saw an insta-crush that led to Lois becoming so entitled to a guy she'd known for less than a week to the point of demanding full transparency of his private life before they even started dating. And then the narrative says it's Clark's fault for having reasonable boundaries, and then they're a couple. What is this.

I've briefly talked about CW Supergirl before, but my takeaway is: if people think MAWS is genuinely good writing then they should absolutely watch CW Supergirl because it must look like high art in comparison to MAWS. Maybe people are less judgy when something's animated and that's not fair. If we want to take animation as a serious medium we should hold it to the same standard and not coddle it. As someone who watched a few eps when CW Supergirl aired and then revisited and watched the whole thing years after the show concluded, I feel that the misogyny surrounding people's discourse around the show has led to people judging the show based on a fanon idea of it rather than its own merits.

more under the cut!

CW Supergirl is a show with great highs and lows. This results in things being hit or miss. But when something hits- CW Supergirl is not given nearly enough credit as it deserves. As a Martian Manhunter fan, I believe that their take on J'onn is the most competent and well adapted in not just adapted media, but all of comics canon. That doesn't mean I like everything they did with his lore and character, but I can acknowledge that they actually bothered developing him outside of the comics/cartoon's fixation with making him mope about his Origin Story all the time. He gets to find love, have adopted daughters through Kara and Alex, reckon with what it's like to preserve aspects of a culture he doesn't fully identify with, deal with his dad going through Martian Alzheimer's disease, and most importantly MAKE PEACE WITH HIS BROTHER. CW Supergirl has hands down, the best take on Ma'alefa'ak in all of canon.

I think Lena is a great character on the show. She's dealing with the trauma of being constantly manipulated by her own family, the legacy her name carries and who she is in all that. But because the supercorp ship permeates the way people perceive the show, she's reduced to that by discourse. When Lena has drama over Kara's secret Superhero identity, it's something that's built up to and informed by trauma, trust-issues, and TIME. We are shown that she has these problems. It gets melodramatic at times, but it's still something that was built up to. Meanwhile in MAWS Lois just tells us she has daddy issues and that it's why she really needs the cute guy at work to spill all his personal info to her even though she gets to lie to him for her own personal gain multiple times. I appreciate what CW Supergirl did to bring more attention to what was an obscure character. Whenever I bump into Lena in the comics, it hasn't stacked up to the character I met on the show.

I've called this out before but while CW Supergirl isn't perfect by any means especially with their treatment of Jimmy Olsen as a love interest to Kara and a generally sidelined Black supporting character, they still discussed and acknowledged Jimmy's identity as a Black American man! Sure it was heavy handed many times, but that's way better than MAWS straight up ignoring Jimmy's Blackness and even making an unintentional jab at it!! Like cw Supergirl Jimmy knows bigotry and has experienced it. MAWS Jimmy thinks bigotry is being ghosted for a camping trip. I have seen the exact same critics call out cw Supergirl for Jimmy's treatment while gleefully thinking Jimmy's treatment in MAWS is so uwu perfect. It makes me sick! Am I going insane?? It's the double standards for me.

#askjesncin #jesncin dc meta #jesncin talks maws #both shows have terrible Asian rep tho- early Supergirl especially. Asian men dropped like flies in that show it's not even funny #I see you other asks about Supergirl- I will get to you! And I will introduce Kara into my AU eventually

[rememberthelaughtermp3]

This is Elaf, a once passionate medical student and the oldest daughter of a single mom with no job and a responsibility of 5 children to raise, I was awaiting the moment to graduate and reward my mother for all her sacrifices, but the faith had another claim, my mother, 3 sisters, brother, and aunt were forced to leave our house by the RSF under all kinds of violence and terrorism, they have occupied our house and left us with nothing. Thankfully, they made it alive to escape to Al-Gizera where they thought it would be safe and in peace. A few months later the RSF entered Madani, bringing with them destruction, chaos, massacre and the threat of unspeakable horrors. My family got displaced for the second time and trapped in inhumane conditions, in a place without shelter, internet, or basic human needs, but with all the possibilities of attack, sexual abuse, and even merciless death. It's really beyond excruciation to be displaced and refugee inside a country that supposed to be your home, isn't it?

I am terrified about my mother who is a hypertensive and asthmatic patient and could develop any further cardiovascular/respiratory diseases due to the unimaginable stress and fear, lack of medications, and limited access to food. I am scared about my sisters who aren't safe among terrorists who use sexual abuse against girls and women to remark their false and illusory victory. I am afraid of the unknown future of my 12 years old sister who is deprived of her rights of education and forced to be homeless while other children are going to school, and I feel the pain for my young brother who is doing labor work to provide what merely could make them alive while he is supposed to study and build his future, without forgetting the race and color based discrimination against him that could identity him falsely as a terrorist and then get massacred.

Now I am reaching out to you to help us in our fight for survival, to give my family the chance to live the life they deserve. Your donation will re-birth a dream that has been deprived, a life that has been stolen, and a hope that never been felt by my family. I am humbly asking you to help me reunite with my family in a safer place and help them flee Sudan to unite with me in Rwanda.

Funds will be used to pay for traveling from Port Sudan to Rwanda through Uganda, as well as to meet entry requirements and basic living expenses when in Rwanda. A specific budget breakdown is included at the bottom.

Budget Breakdown:

250 USD per person to travel to Port Sudan = 1500 USD

850 USD flights ticket to Uganda from Port Sudan per person = 5100 USD

30 USD per person times six people to board a bus from Uganda to Rwanda = 180 USD

4000 USD for rental arrangements for the first three months

150 USD for residency permit per person = 900 USD

3000 USD minimum cash show to enter Rwanda

1500 USD is for emergency as we pay all the transportation in Sudan in local currency and the exchange rate is not fixed as well as the traveling ticket itself, it depends on the field progress of the army between cities. From September to December the air tickets have been increased twice from 550 USD to 650 USD to 850 USD now!

Total of 16,180 USD.

$12228 / $17000

#sudan #keep eyes on sudan #free sudan

[eagna-eilis]

Depending on how S2 shakes out, if IWTV gets a Season 3, and I really hope it does, the writers are going to have such a difficult task squaring the circle with Lestat. Especially with casual non-book fans, and the understandable contingent of nonwhite fans who are delighted to have a supernatural show with protagonists of colour.

The writers can't just have a white guy flounce in and "well ACTUALLY" Louis and Armand as things stand now after S2E3. Even if the book girlies are all pretty convinced that Armand is a big lying liar in his telling of 1700s shenanigans, they're going to need to earn any correction of the record which Lestat might issue. Otherwise, it will alienate a part of the fandom that was brought on board by the fantastic changes made for the show if they don't handle it right. I don't think that introducing moral complexity and narrative duplicity to Black and Brown characters should automatically be considered a negative, surely everybody deserves to occupy every character archetype (including emotionally complex anti heroes), but it is going to need to be handled gracefully and thoughtfully.

They definitely have space to do this. Judging by the names on some of the Talamasca files on Daniel's laptop, Armand's extremely tragic backstory is in play. Assad plays Armand with incredible pathos, and infuses the character with something that is on the page in the books but which I never personally felt until seeing him onscreen. This will hopefully help in making sure the show isn't seen to be, or indeed actually, demonising its characters of colour in favour of Anne Rice's specialest blonde boy.

There's a traumatised desperation in many of these characters as they exist in the books. Lestat has a void in him that even the love of thousands seemingly cannot fill until towards the "wish-fulfilment AU" style ending of Blood Communion. Armand has extremely intense abandonment and control issues and a heartbreaking relationship with his own compulsive cruelty - he doesn't want to be awful, but he lashes out in his desperation. Louis in the books is the least developed of the three in this regard, and his traumas are very much the creation of the show so we shall see.

The show is going to have to maintain the pathos and sympathetic elements of all three men, to explore why they hurt one another and lie about one another. I think Lestat is going to have to go on a major redemption arc, too, though. Getting his POV isn't going to be enough, I don't think, even if we establish the extent to which Louis and Armand present him with false negativity.

In a different media landscape, perhaps one more comfortable with ambiguity and existing in a less fraught moment for social politics, this wouldn't be such a challenge. As it stands, though, a challenge it will be.

#iwtv #iwtv s2 #iwtv spoilers

[lazzarella]

Okay, I wanted to note down basically every single moment because there was just SO MUCH goodness, ahhhhh. Anyway, here's some rambling from me:

- Noooooo, technical issues?? Whyyyyy? My life is meaningless D:

- ...oh, here we go! Yes!

- Oh no! :( Poor Yak! (I figured his mum was dead but oof)

- Wandee hugging Yoryak! And taking his hand! Ahhhh, opening strong with Dee looking after Yak <3

- Is Ter jealous because he like likes Dee? (A question I kept asking throughout this ep—I think he’s mostly just put out to no longer be the centre of attention)

- "You should know he moves on fast" then Ter said something about "too fast this time" ??? Curious about this??? Maybe just about his dating history?

- Lol @ Yak and Dee dropping each other's hands when they spot Kwan and Ter!!!

- "They have really good chemistry" You're so right, Doctor Kwan

- TER LIVES IN 666!!! Lmaooooooooo. Nice work, set folk!

- that whole conversation over breakfast about Yak being jealous and then already having someone he likes was soooo delicious to me

- TEACHING HIM TO FLIRT!!!!! Oh dee, what have you done, you silly boy? XD he really played himself

- THEY WERE GONNA KISS! God, I want them to kiss already but I also loooove the almost kiss moments so much. Just... the LONGING ugh

- "Did you like that?" Oh, he very much did, Yak

- The whole talk between Yak and Cher... Aside from the content, I love their interactions because it's just nice seeing them established as family I guess?? Like, that Cher isn't just his brother's boyfriend

- Yak saying he's not someone who changes his mind easily is interesting to me! Not just because he obviously does for Dee, but I wonder if that's partly why he's clinging to liking Taem? I mean, I'm not saying he doesn't still have feelings. Just spitballing

- The training scene killed me! Yak getting horny and flustered watching Dee do situps! Dee immediately jumping to Yak being sick and wanting to make sure he's okay! Yak calling Dee cute and *Dee* getting flustered! Taem coming in and seeing them horse around!! Dee getting jealous!!!!!!!!!!!!

- (speaking of horses, I don't understand all the sound effects yet, so I'm not sure what the horse neighing is meant to signify??)

- Have some thoughts about how I love how much of this ep is circling their developing feelings for each other via their feelings for others' (or Yak's anyway)

- the music changes between soft and romantic when the camera is on Yak and Dee vs fighty and upbeat when it's on Dee watching them is too funny lmao

- this situation is getting very 'you love her, but she loves him, and he loves somebody eeeeeelse' (Dee and Yak and Taem and Ter and Kwan and Ohm!!! That's a love hexagon???)

- Taem clocked the necklace 😏

- "Why do you complicate the thing that's already complicated?" Ouch. Kao doesn't know it but he totally called me out there lol

- Isn't their 'fake' dating going to put Taem off though??? I mean, IDT she likes Yak that way at all, but still

- loving the complicated feelings this show is going into! Because Yak does probably still like Taem while he's falling for Dee, and Dee still must feel something for Ter while he's falling for Yak and mmmm. Just delicious!

- and they NEARLY KISSED AGAIN! And then Dee pushed Yak and splashed him lol

- they are SO unconvincing (their reasons for Dee sleeping over)

- love the dinner scene with Dee, Yak, Cher and Yei <3 I love that Cher and Yei are so welcoming to him, even while they let Yak sort out his feelings

- Aww, I had a feeling he was finishing uni for his mum! And I love that he tells Dee that while he wasn't comfortable telling Yei

- Dr Kwan deserves better

- Dee cheering for Yak!!! <3

- Okay, of all the ways they end up tiger/bunny roleplaying, Kao getting them to do it was NOT on my radar lol except Dee is a leopard not a tiger

- Yak sulking! Dee coaxing him with a hug and a cheek sniff kiss!!! Yesssssssss

- ...and now it's a HPV vaccine PSA? Cool! I personally don't really need shows to give me sex ed but, you know what, good on 'em, anyway! I know sex ed, especially on queer sex, is pretty dire…probably most places? So yeah

- Sigh. And the countdown to next week begins again!

#wandee goodday #long post #wandee goodday spoilers #lazzarella watches tv

[litrallytyrus]

look i literally don’t go here but i peeked into the hsmtmts tag and you’re telling me ricky showed up to visit ej at his college? isn’t that a direct parallel to troy coming to see gabriella at stanford?

i’ve never even seen any of the high school musical movies but man that just speaks even more to the caswen tragedy ….. they have a fucking romcom set up every time they’re interacting with parallels to a canon couple and then disney still wants to slip in the ‘brother’ word ……… it’s like they’re making fun of us at this point

#also obsessed with the fact that u don’t go here and yet have stuff to say about caswen 😭 #thank u for supporting the cause 🙏🤝😇 #while i’m here and on the topic it’s so interesting for ricky to be the only one interacting with ej this season . #unless i missed something which i could have since i was skipping around #but like . why not gina . or ASH . orrrrrr ….. idk anybody? #but it was ricky …….. #shows some sort of development #but not the development we really deserved #the only way any of this is justifiable (to me) is if ricky and ej meet a couple years into college (somehow) and hit it off #and get together then #caswen endgame can still win ☺️🤝 #these tags got carried away oops #cute asks #anon asks #caswen #ricky bowen #ej caswell #hsmtmts

[gunstellations]

In the world I love

_

In a different world

#vanitas no carte #vanoé #doomed yaoi save me...save me doomed yaoi #play on the opening song + visual sequence + the fact that vanitas could only ever be happy in an alternate universe also #+ the other fun little fact we learn about him from episode one #i have complex feelings about this anime #its pretty damn fucking good #but im a leeeeetle iffy about the way it developed the female characters.....they had potential and i was actually excited to #to see some good solid female characters even the respective romances with their l/i's felt good at the start #not jeanne obv. they fucked up a perfectly good woman and her whole dynamic with v could have gone sooo well without the reall #really forced flirting behaviour.... i liked the more serious relationship they had it made me actually not hate what they had at the start #but yknow. whatever. sorry about going off about another ship on this but im just....i love jeanne a lot. i wish they didnt do her so dirty #my girl deserves better than this asshole #you want white/black dynamics??? let her get married to domi and then we can talk #i enjoy this show and i enjoy vanoe a lot #very yuriyaoi if you ask me #my art

[ecoterrorist-katara]

Why I feel like Ka/taang is one-sided, despite textual evidence 

ATLA does try to convince us that Katara has romantic feelings for Aang. For example: she seems thoughtful when she realizes that Aang is a powerful bender; she’s offended that he didn’t want to kiss her in the Cave of Two Lovers; she gets jealous when Sokka says On Ji and Aang look good together.

So…what’s wrong with anti-Kataangers? Do we just lack media comprehension? 

To be clear, on their own, these gestures can indicate romantic interest. But at the same time, we have stuff like “Aang is a sweet little guy, like Momo.” We have her ambivalent facial expression after he kisses her before the eclipse, and her hedging during Ember Island Players, and her anger when he kisses her anyway. In the context of these conflicting cues, Katara’s possibly romantic reactions can absolutely be interpreted in a different way, because: 

Acknowledging a friend as a potential romantic interest is not the same as actually being romantically interested in them. (Imo this is something young women struggle with, due to a combination of romance-centrism and heteronormativity that make women feel like they should be in romantic relationships, and that boys and girls who share intimate and deep feelings for one another must be romantically into each other) 

Wanting someone to find you desirable is not the same as desiring that person. (Which is something a lot of women, especially young women, struggle with. Remember all the discourse around Cat Person back in 2017?) 

Being jealous when someone flirts with your friend is not the same as wanting to be with your friend. (Especially when you see your friends as family, or if you’re accustomed to a specific type of devotion from that friend. It is jealousy, and it is possessiveness, but it doesn’t always arise from romantic feelings) 

Growing up in a patriarchal society means that your desires are always filtered through what men want from you, sometimes in an abstract male gaze-y way, and sometimes in a very visceral and interpersonal way when a boy wants you specifically. And Katara’s reactions are just that — reactions. Reactions to what other people — including Aunt Wu, Sokka, Aang himself — have insinuated about her and Aang. She’s not really proactive in her interest in Aang: we don’t really see Aang, romantically, from Katara’s POV. Under the framework of “Katara is reacting to a romantic prospect she’s kind of uncertain about,” it is completely plausible — and indeed likely — that she would sometimes act in ways that indicate romantic interest, in addition to moments where she indicates the opposite. 

Ka/taang shippers often bring up other evidence, like Katara’s despair when Azula hits Aang with lightning, or how protective she is of him when Zuko joins the Gaang. The thing is, these pieces of evidence aren’t necessarily indicative of romantic love. The fact that Katara genuinely loves Aang makes the whole thing more complicated, not less, because — especially at that age, especially when Aang is twelve years old and grew up in a sex-segregated society of monks — it is really difficult to tell the difference between platonic love and romantic love. Their mutual devotion is layered and complex yet straightforward in its sincerity. What was not straightforward, until the last five minutes of the show, is whether this devotion on Katara’s end is romantic. The romantic arc for Katara and Aang is not really an arc, as Sneezy discusses in this classic ZK video. Katara actually becomes more conflicted over time and we never see an event that clarifies her feelings. She seems more interested in him in The Headband than on the Day of the Black Sun, and she has never been more hostile to his romantic overtures than in the penultimate episode. 

And in light of this, it’s pretty easy for fans to fill in the blanks with a different interpretation: maybe Katara’s weird expression after their kiss at the invasion means she didn’t enjoy it; maybe the kiss made her realize that she doesn’t actually feel that way about Aang; maybe against her will and her better judgement, she’s developing feelings for another person, a person who hurt her and whom she fervently tried to hate until he pulled off what is in my opinion the greatest grovel of all time in the form of a life-changing field trip. Maybe. Am I saying that Zutara has more romantic interactions than Ka/taang? Of course not. But ironically, the lack of romantic interactions means that it’s not inherently one-sided, the way Ka/taang became in the latter half of season 3.

I’m not arguing that Katara’s unequivocally not into Aang. Obviously the text declares that she is, because they get married and have kids. But I am saying that there’s a very good reason that so many people, especially women, see Katara’s interest in Aang as ambiguous. It’s not because we can’t pick up “subtle” hints of growing affection. It’s because we know not all affection is romantic, and it’s really easy for someone else’s insistent romantic intentions to muddle what you want.

P.S. I first started thinking about these topics (platonic vs romantic love, desiring someone vs wanting to be desired, etc) in the context of compulsory heterosexuality, a term describing how queer women contort themselves into relationships with men even if they’re not really into men. I saw a post a few days ago joking about why so many queer women seem to be into Zutara. I wonder if part of the reason is because as queer women, we are very sensitive to the ways in which we can talk ourselves into wanting things we don’t actually want, and Katara’s romantic interest in Aang can be easily seen that way. 

#Anti Kataang #Zutara #anti Bryke #Katara deserved better #From Bryke who offered her so little romantic agency #I actually think Aang and Katara’s mutual devotion is really compelling because the wires get crossed when you have such intense love #And navigating romantic vs platonic feelings can be very complicated and interesting #but no we did not get that bc I guess they just had to end with a romance however shoddily developed #my meta

[uncanny-tranny]

Reminder for those who need it: fun is a human need - yes, you read right, a need. Fun as a concept will, of course, look different for everybody, but fun is a need. This is regardless of age. We conceptualize "fun" as something only children are allowed to do, that growing up is to ditch everything "fun" for practicality. Fuck that noise, you are alive. Fun is a need, you can (and should, even) treat "fun" as being just as important as sleep - so, something you build into your schedule wherever you want or can.

#mental health #gentle reminders #saw somebody say they felt they could only have hobbies if they weren't because they were 'fun' and they HAD TO be practical #and that just. makes me really sad for them. not because they're doing something wrong but because they don't deserve to feel their fun... #...should be a shameful thing if it doesn't Serve A Purpose #bro. the fun IS the purpose. that purpose helps ENRICH you and DEVELOP you and makes you feel WHOLE and ALIVE because you are #how is that not a purpose worth pursuing? why are we taught that our selves are worth nothing on their own?

[kimabutch]

GMs! Anyone who’s ever been a game master! Say something nice about your own GMing!

Ideas:

Specific aspects of GMing that you’re really good at (ex. worldbuilding, RPing, puzzles, plot hooks, running combat, developing NPCs)

Something that went down in a game that you’re proud of (ex. pulling off a big reveal, an NPC character interaction that was fun)

Something that you think your players appreciate about playing with you (ex. you find cool ways to weave in their PCs’ backstories, you’re funny and always have people laughing in stressful moments)

#I’ll go first: I run a game where politics is a pretty big part of it #and I’m good at developing political scenarios that feel complicated #and multifaceted #while actually being pretty simple at their heart #by parcelling out little bits of information in NPCs #some of whom may be mistaken or lying #it’s not something I ever thought I’d do but I really enjoy it tbh #ttrpgs #also this is because GMs are very frequently hard on ourselves #and don’t give ourselves the credit we deserve

[pockethep]

TADC Theory...One of the Characters could be an NPC.

Even before episode 2 dropped people were theorizing that one of the main cast could be an NPC. With episode 2 having come out yesterday a very specific line said by Caine only fuels that theory....

"I know you guys love your NPCs but if I start losing track of who's a human and who's an NPC, who knows what could happen..."

I LOVE this idea for the drama. If the main goal is everyone escaping from the circus, there’s a lot of potential for a scene where everyone leaves but one of them physically can’t make it out because they aren’t a real person. (Very Wreck It Ralph like.)

Just based off what we know from two episodes I'm trying to decide who is most and least likely.

We know it probably isn't Pomni or Ragatha, they both glitched out in the pilot plus Pomni has outside game knowledge. She's been saying "collision" and "glitch" and "we're somewhere under the map", these are video game specific terms. And although NPCs can glitch as well (The Gloinks glitched in the pilot) Kinger remembers Ragathas arrival and how hard it was.

Jax can be ruled out in a similar way for the same reason as Pomni. He referenced Augustus Gloop, the child from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, this episode. This is real world knowledge that would be a very specific reference for an NPC to know let alone make.

I can somewhat rule out Kinger just based on the fact that Queenie was a character who (presumably) abstracted. Based on naming conventions and design alone (weak defense but there's only two episodes out) they could have come to the digital circus together. With all the characters having such random designs it feels intentional for two characters look similar. If this is just a coincidence it would be cool for his erratic and paranoid personality to be a result of being an NPC. His spontaneity comes from the fact that he's in an area he isn't supposed to be in. Also he's been at he circus for so long and hasn't abstracted which is very very interesting.

My bets are on Zooble and Gangle. Although mainly because we don't know much about Zooble and the mask gimmick with Gangle is both something no other character has and feels like something from an actual game. Gangle is cheerful with the happy mask and more emotional and depressed with the tragedy mask while the other characters are more permitted to show emotion without something actively filtering them. Also my own bias thinks it would be cool for Gangle to snap, it'd be fun to watch the characters try to avoid getting grabbed by the ribbons while hiding around the circus.

HOWEVER we could look at what Caine said in a different way. Mainly the "who knows what could happen...". What if it was a warning about an actual event that happened? He actually couldn't tell the difference. What if him not being able to tell a human and an NPC apart led to the death of an actual character?

Gummigoo looked very distinct from all the other characters in the circus. He was more gelatinous, had an accent, and was very much from the candy world that Caine had created. It was easy to rule him out from the main group design-wise.

But Kinger and Queenie who look VERY similar...

It would be interesting if the real reason Queenie disappeared was because Caine mixed up the two because of similar designs and blasted the wrong one.

Probably more in tags but TL;DR someone in the main cast could be an NPC and Caine could have accidentally killed a human because he couldn't tell them apart from an NPC. RIP Gummigoo

#the amazing digital circus #tadc pomni #tadc ragatha #tadc jax #tadc kinger #tadc gangle #tadc caine #tadc zooble #tadc theory #TBH given how little info we have anyone could have a case made for any one them but Pomni really #I could see Ragatha being an NPC similar to Toriel she's the character whos there to help and reassure #Jax is such a cool character because he treats the players (tadc cast) like NPCs #Jax treats them as items like he does not want to think of them as real people #Maybe its because HE is the NPC who hates that they are characters or maybe just his way of distancing himself from people who might die #Gangle deserves to snap as a treat and I hope she chokes Jax out first #I really hope Zooble gets more development later they look really cool

[don1t1red]

I know that this is a very unpopular opinion but hear me out!

I think not enough people consider Corvo as an unreliable narrator. We see the story from his point of view and all we know about Jessamine Kaldwin comes from his perspective. So, to think on that, do we really know how good Jessamine was as the Empress? 

I know that she is usually portrayed as a good person if not a saint but what if it wasn't that way? A lot of people in the streets are indifferent towards her image, if not hostile; the situation with Delilah; how both Geoff Curnow and Corvo are treated because of their nationality; two hatters recalling how greatly Corvo dealt with workers uprising under her command  – a lot of things are a tell-tale signs that something is not quite right. 

And at this point I have to clarify that I'm not saying things like "boo no I hate Jessamine". No, it's actually quite the opposite, I love her character. But the way it is usually portrayed seems to be so dull and static. Let her not be a saint. 

Let her be manipulative. Let her tell Corvo that "he is not like other serkonans, he is sooo special and that's why he is where he is and not somewhere deep in the silver mine", while being (just as any nobility in Gristol) not very welcome to any outlanders. 

Let her be power-hungry and afraid to lose this power. Remember a bonecharm in her hidden room in the Tower? Who knows how it ended up here! Maybe she knew (or felt) that Delilah was coming, capable of overpowering and taking everything from her. Maybe Jessamine was so afraid to lose her posh life that she was ready to use some kind of a black magic! 

Let her be disloyal. Obviously, she and Corvo developed some kind of codependency. But along with that, she was the Empress so who could stop her from having an affair or two? And Corvo was just the safest option, with a way less unnecessary risks and questions. 

Let her be an imperfect person. 

Obviously, Jessamine could be easily born a perfect ruler and a perfect loving woman for her chosen one and her daughter. But maybe she had to learn it the hard way. 

Maybe she changed along with Corvo. Maybe the plague was a critical point for her character, maybe those months without Corvo made her rethink a lot of things. 

And isn't it tragic, finally understanding and becoming the Empress everyone wants to see in you, just to be killed the other day, because all those changes have been seen as a weakness? Have nothing but faith in your closest one, faith that these people will be more wise than she was? 

Give her some development, give her some motion! She could easily  be a saint, static point.  But in my opinion, she deserves to be not perfect but in constant motion. Trying and learning, understanding and making mistakes. She was too young when she became the Empress, she was a part of gristolian nobility, not so kind to anyone but themselves, she literally had no prerequisites to become a good person. And yet somehow she did. 

It's always so easy to be a "saint" from the very beginning. And it's always so hard to learn how to become one.

#dishonored #jessamine kaldwin #imo all women deserve to be evil #(as a treat) #and esp disho women #ngl i kinda feel as a great part of Emily criticism could be applied to Jess as well #which doesnt make either of them a bad character #just as a fact #oh and also - while im still there - its not a bad thing to write Dauds development as a reaction to her death #but i feel like it was rather a reaction to the *changes* that her death triggered #i understand that she is a “woman in the refrigerator” trope in canon but we all are better than this #so again imo but it would be better to concentrate Dauds character growth aroud those changes and leave this poor woman alone #i really want to write a separate post about him rn lol #anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk #dt (stands for doni talks)

[ruvviks]

PLEASE DO NOT TAG AS YOUR OWN OC OR PAIRING.

Nathan and Ruben share a bond more powerful than most; mutual understanding through past experiences no one should ever have to go through, and through past actions so horrible they cannot be spoken of. Their grief and the blood on their hands binds them to the STEM technology they created, which has alienated them from the rest of the world— but they give each other the comfort they have both longed for so desperately for years, and that is all they need. They are each other's counterpart; you cannot imagine one without the other, like two sides of the same coin. Through their pain, their grief, their desire, and their regret, they have become one.

anna akhmatova, the guest // bones; equinox // 'i won't become' by kim jakobsson // agustín gómez-arcos, the carnivorous lamb // by oxy // achilles come down; gang of youths // czeslaw milosz, from 'new and collected poems: 1931-2001' // 'extended ambience portrait from a resonant biostructure' and 'migraine tenfold times ten' by daniel vega // a little death; the neighbourhood // marina tsvetaeva, from 'poem of the end' // by drummnist // katie maria, winter // 'nocturne in black and gold the falling rocket' by james abbott mcneill whistler // micah nemerever, these violent delights // body language; we are fury // 'the penitent' by emil melmoth // chelsea dingman, from 'of those who can't afford to be gentle'

taglist (opt in/out)

@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @hibernationsuit, @stars-of-the-heart;

@lestatlioncunt, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;

@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;

@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree

#tew #edit:nathan #nuclearocs #nuclearedits #so much shame in my body but still used my taglist but um let me know if you want to be excluded from oc/ship web weaves #just really wanted to share this one because i'm very proud of it and i want it on my blog. so. :] #recognition of the self through the other + wanting so desperately for the other to be deserving of a second chance #because if there is hope for them than there is hope for you etc etc and so on. that's the core of their dynamic i think #they understand each other on such a fundamental level that no one else comes close to because they are in so many ways the same #like how in in the first game leslie could sync up with ru/vik and all that? nathan would be a VERY good candidate for that as well #and it makes me insane!! and then the added layer of nathan being lead developer of mobius' new and improved STEM system #which makes him the same as ru/vik AGAIN but in like. the way that they're both men of [computer] science #and there's the fact they both have a dead sister. they both killed their parents. they were both mobius playthings for YEARS #and they've happily killed and tortured during all of it. they're angry they're out for revenge they're completely disconnected from #the normal human experience and they're working with what they have. and then after all of that is over then what is left? #their story focuses on them picking up all the pieces. everything that's still salvageable at least. and try to start over in a way #they cannot be forgiven for what they've done but they can move on from the past and do different in the future #there's still things left undone and left unsaid... in my canon at least. i know there's not gonna be any more games. it's fine #anyway they end up going to therapy and then they get better they're not a doomed couple they just like being dramatic #if you read all of this we can get married tomorrow if you'd like