#but mErLin has a conscience

[multifandombullshitbabes]

Merlin has infact scammed the knights out of their money more than once over the years to the point where he was banned from gambling with them by Arthur due to the amount of complaints he got from the knights

well of course this makes perfect sense, its just a bit naive that you'd think money was the only think merlin was scamming the knights for

#you ask i answer #we all know merlin has won so many bets and therefore has accumulated quite the collection of random knight objects #like leons old hair comb. several shirts (theirs are nicer quality and they feel weirdly guilty if they dont give them to merlin) #this is a rumor but he might have at least one of the knights underwear tho whose no one wants to know (its gwaines n he wasnt scammed) #the only knight merlin has not scammed is percival and thats because merlin does have a conscience and percival is too nice #ofc the only reason this is possible is because merlin noticed their hesitance towards giving him money so he resorted to other means #the knights arent sure if this is better or worse. arthur is now scared of going into merlins room #he doesnt want to know what is or isnt his anymore #(gwen secretly thinks this is all rly funny but pretends she finds this very scandalous in front of the boys- #(- but then giggles in secret with merlin abt it. the only knight that is also with them n also get scammed is lancelot cuz hes whipped)

[thesherrinfordfacility]

take me up / cast me away

so this is going to be a veritable word vomit but this is actually so exciting to me; we obviously affiliate aziraphale with the flaming sword and both its biblical and GO narrative implications, but the catch that @frog-person made on this particular shot has got every synapse firing.

(and therefore this is a meta for @frog-person and them only, mwah✨💕)

not only is the sword going through their hands, but it's one sword of many in a particularly fiendish magic trick (or at least an earlier version of one made popular by the morettis in the 70s), and the box itself with all of its swords is relatively prominent in most of the scene, as background props go (more on this later).

now, i don't know enough about magic tricks or illusions to understand the significance that this aspect may have, if any - possibly the element of trust, sure, but also the sheer ability to hoodwink the audience into accepting that there is no way that whatever is inside could possibly survive such a trick. however, i simply want to just talk about the sword in general.

let's start with connotations and symbolism behind the image of the sword. first of all, it's a phallic symbol and is largely used in the context of knighthood, chivalry, and sovereignty. it symbolises justice, and truth, and righteous and merciful power. to hold the meter of life and death in your hands, and to be trusted to use it in conscience and clemency.

in alchemy, the sword was shown as a symbol of purification, between life and death. similar connotations in other histories, literature, and customs read the sword as being the key to balance between truth and enlightenment. later into history, especially in the middle ages, swords of discernible quality were understandably resource-intensive to make and therefore came to symbolise wealth, but moreso in the context of strength and glory, and further then a symbol of protection and shelter. traditionally, oaths and pledges would be made to the sword (literally, sworn-sword), and in turn swords were - and continue to be - used to elevate you to a higher station (eg. use of a knighting sword).

the imagery of the sword in the box is evocative of the sword excalibur, probably one of the most famous swords in literature and legend. cliff notes: excalibur was the believed magical sword of king arthur, and was written in some accounts (specifically in this case in the poem Merlin by robert de boron) to have lodged in an anvil, sat atop a stone, and that whoever could pull it from the anvil would be proof of rightful lineage of uther pendragon - and therefore, by divine right, king of the britons. obviously, arthur was said to have pulled the sword from the stone.

excalibur's symbolism can be interpreted somewhat as being as i said above; tennyson wrote that the words inscribed on excalibur as being (paraphrased): "take me up" / "cast me away"; to indicate that the sword is a weapon that should be used sparingly, only when necessary, and never without mercy or fair judgement. it is a power that can destroy, and should be safeguarded from turning that power to insidiousness. a call-to-arms when taken up, and a grace and peace when cast away.

(im a whore for arthurian legend ok, im from southwest uk) (and have a tattoo on my arm of those words, im a basic cornish legend bitch)

now, i realise that excalibur is not literally a part of the GO story (that we know of, notwithstanding the flashback in s1), and the sword we know in GO has a rather different narrative importance (or does it?). so, we know that in genesis the flaming sword was given to the cherubim in eden to guard adam and eve, and this is pretty much transposed to GO right up until aziraphale does the Cool Thing and gives it away, meant as a means of protection.

however, given that it ends up in the hands of humanity's personification of war, it bears a rather vivid mirror to the intention of excalibur; that in casting it away, aziraphale inadvertently introduces the concept of destruction to humanity.

but im now going to move away from the symbolism of the sword itself (i promise im trying to organise this meta into some semblance of order), and instead look at it in terms of when aziraphale actually holds it. we start with him giving it to adam and eve:

and then when he takes it up at the airfield:

and in the time bubble with adam and crowley:

now this is really obvious, i realise, but it does have some bearing for me on the image we see in the 40s minisode. sword up: ready to fight. sword down: ready to rest. it's a reasonably common occurrence to see in heraldry (by extension in logos/emblems and even on gravestones) two crossed swords pointing up or pointing down. usually, for the former, that the prospective wielder is ready to battle, is prepared and willing, and is or always has been braced for the onslaught.

the latter however indicates that either the fighting is done, or that no threat is meant - and that this can be in death, in surrender or defeat, or out of conscientious choice. that the wielder may have chosen mercy, and to act with peace and without conflict. one step further - sheathed sword goes on to symbolise that a fight is not anticipated; not necessarily in the sense that the wielder is unprepared, but instead that they are not turning to violence as an option.

this is where i think the presence of the sword in the shots from the minisode, with all of the connotations of it from eden (and its similar, in my eyes, likeness to excalibur) come into play. as i said before, the sword/s are notable visually in the whole magic shop scene. its in primary focus along with the desk as they enter, its the first display aziraphale goes towards, and it oscillates in the background from to aziraphale's right, to between him and crowley, and latterly back again:

summarised thoughts on this, because it will otherwise be a truly garbled mess:

the sheer presence of it reminds the audience that a fight may be imminent, even if the scene/story is currently at peace

that whilst the narrative is not currently in full combat, it pays heed to not only the events of ep4 being somewhat of a fight, but the events that precipitate in ep5 and ep6, and leading into s3

that where it is currently cast in the figurative stone, it may be called upon to take up arms, and confer suggestions of sovereignty, divine power, and strength

that victory (however that may conclude) may only be possible with the right person in power; aziraphale as the new supreme archangel and prince of heaven

it also confers the necessity of protection, of justice, and of mercy, being elevated to a position where you have the power to make that judgement

all things which aziraphale intended by giving away his own sword, and is what he indicates in ep6 that he intends to deliver to heaven once he ascends

that this fight, whenever it may come, may literally divide him and crowley in the story that lies ahead

...you don't need me to explain this bit contextually, right?

the last thing that stumped me, however, is that there ought to have been something in ep6 that almost bookended all of this imagery (at least temporarily, until we have a s3), or at least indicated whether or not aziraphale chooses to take up the sword again like he does at the end of s1. that shows him prepared for a fight, to defend the weak, and uphold judgement in mercy... and then it hit me:

of course there bloody is.

#this is relatively unimportant and unneeded but this my shit #like do i believe that ive cracked a code and this was what neil intended to convey? no not necessarily #but do igaf and instead just like going full year 9 english teacher on this shit? absolutely #not proof read yet - pretend you do not Perceive The Errors #good omens #s2 meta #s1 meta #flashback meta #aziraphale meta #s3 narrative spec

[absolutebuffoonery]

PT 3 (including finale): I convinced my dad to watch merlin with me and here’s what he has to say

pt 1

pt 2

---

“They’re loving that.”

“I don’t even wanna know what they’re doing in there.”

-When Merlin and Arthur get caught in the net booby trap

-

Arthur, to Merlin: You’re the only friend I’ve got and I couldn’t bear to lose you. 

Dad: *literally gasps and gapes at me in surprise*

Merlin: Really?

Arthur: Don’t be stupid. 

Dad: *laughs hysterically*

-

*uther emerges from the veil*

“Wow, of all the dead people, he got the right guy”

-

“Was that a reference to fisting?” -the horseplay scene when Arthur threatens Merlin with his fist 

-

“Okay that was pretty gay.”

(I don’t even remember what he was talking about here, but he was right)

-

“Arthur’s unconscious again, alert the media.”

-

“I really don’t know what to make of Mordred.” 

(whenever he said something like this I had to hold in an earth-shattering screech)

-

“Okay, this son of a bitch has to die” -About Mordred, s5e12

-

“I am OBSESSED with her.” -about Gwen after she runs someone through with a sword in s5e12

(same)

-

Arthur: “Just... hold me.”

Dad: *just nods his head*

(I think he was simply acknowledging the queerness)

-

Arthur, during That scene in s5e13: I want to say something that I’ve never said to you before.

Dad: Ohh boy. 

-

His thoughts after the finale (he wrote an Official Statement for his “tumblr fandom,” including the hashtags at the end):

Well, watching Merlin was a much more satisfying experience than when my kids made me watch Glee with them. Although it was difficult at first to accept the way they bent time to accommodate Merlin and Arthur being contemporaries, I got over it because they succeeded in creating a relationship between two boys-to-men who wouldn't normally exist in each other's worlds. In actual Arthur lore, Merlin is old and wizened long before Arthur is even born. In fact, you remember in an early episode when Gaius references magic being necessary for Uther and his queen to produce a son? Well, in Arthur lore, that magic was cast by Merlin, and Merlin was present during Arthur's childhood. But ok, let's give the BBC some breathing room because they did a good job showing the generational transition from the failings of toxic masculinity (Uther's reign) to the superhuman potential of unapologetic bromance (Arthur's reign). In fact, how many times did I furrow my brow when Uther did something stupid or said something weenie just because he thought he was being strong, but he was actually being...alone. When it was Arthur's turn to do something stupid or say something weenie, he had a posse of good bros by his side to prop him up.

Even in S5E3 when Arthur gets the opportunity to see the ghost of his father and be like, "Bruh, I miss you," Uther instead treats Arthur like shit and belittles him for not being a dick to his people. Respect through fear, I believe is what the ghost Uther was preaching. But that strategy was pretty much self-defeating, given that respect through fear got Uther prematurely dead. Luckily Arthur didn't give it too much thought and decided, "Yeah, nah, I'd rather hug my droogies and marry a servant woman and be respected for doing the right thing, so biyee douchebag." In fact I'm assuming the writers created this post-mortem meeting not as merely another display of magic, but as a tangible means of showing Arthur's wrestling match with his own conscience. Even the playful and boyish banter between Arthur and Merlin (and the way they gaze at each other adoringly) is an example of Arthur's determination to part with toxic masculinity, especially when he gives Merlin the opportunity to be right sometimes without getting his chainmail hoodie in a bunch.

  This could absolutely be a lesson to voters the world over, who have the power to put real leaders in office but choose crusty old assholes instead of fresh, young minds and hearts. All the Uthers in the world are giving AOC and Sanna Marin shit for dancing. Can you believe we actually live in an era when our leaders get chided for dancing? For fucking dancing! Meanwhile AOC and Sanna Marin are attracting loyal followers in New York and Denmark, who would follow them to the ends of Camelot, while the same old self-serving ancient curmudgeons who keep getting elected are busy pulling Agravaine after Agravaine out of their bungholes. Perhaps I digress.

  Their parting from lore that is a little less acceptable is what they chose to do with Lancelot. Love triangle with Gwen and Arthur, yes, but Lancelot's BBC fate was less than satisfying. There are many tellings of how Lancelot dies, both with and because of Gwen, but the BBC opted against putting Arthur's best knight at the roundtable through most of this series. How fascinating. And weird.

Anyway, the end: Avoiding spoilers, I'd say the series ended appropriately. My 20-year-old daughter is traumatized by the ending, but I know enough about Arthur lore to know that the end is appropriate and loyal to legend. Camelot enters a new era, Merlin finally gets the respect he deserves, and a strong woman rises to power (I hope she dances). Satisfying. My parting thought: Walking away from this series, I've discovered a new career aspiration. I don't need to be king of anything, but I really want a job that allows me to say, "Ready the men, we ride at first light" without getting bullied. I mean, that's just really damn cool.

Thanks for all of your comments and responses. It's been fun. 

#Merlin #ArthurAndMerlinOTP #ToxicMasculinityVsBromance #ArthurWasPan #TristanAndIsoldSpinoff

#merlin #bbc merlin #bbc #colin morgan #bradley james #merlin emrys #arthur pendragon #merthur #merlin x arthur #gwen pendragon #mordred

[longlivechips]

A drabble on what if Arthur repealed the magic ban while Merlin wasn't there. I like the idea of Arthur thinking Merlin will be mad, he said magic has no place in Camelot afterall. And Merlin being like shit I'm gonna have to start telling the truth.

A fic where Merlin goes to visit his mother for a few weeks. It's Yule and he misses her.

While he is gone a child comes to trial. Hardly 12 and clearly terrified. She had been caught using magic.

She swears she didn't mean to, that it just started happening one day and she was so scared of what was happening to her.

The law says she is to burn.

But Arthur just can't seem to make the call. He can only think of the girl Morgana used to be when he looks at her.

He speaks to Gaius and Geoffrey about what Camelot was like before the ban. How people square magic. He learns, for the first time, more than his father had ever let him.

He's thinking of......well not reversing the magic ban. But this girl can't be evil surely.

He wishes Merlin were here, his advice is often quite sound. But Arthur is unsure if Merlin, who has been so outspoken against magic in the past, would agree with such loose laws.

But it comes down to this. Arthur cannot in good conscience kill that girl. And he can not have her as an exception. So he changes the law.

Merlin hasn't spent this long in Ealdor since before he left. He finds it quite lonely without Will to cause trouble with.

But he finds he is not ostracized like he was when he was a boy. In fact, more often than not he has to dodge mothers pushing their daughters onto him as prospects.

He is in his mother's house trying bundles of herbs to be dried and taken back to Camelot when his mother rushes in.

She stairs at him for a moment. Eyes wide, something clearly about to spill off her toung.

"Mother?" Merlin says moving closer, " What's wrong what happened? Has goodie meridan gone into labor?"

"Merlin. My boy. We just received news from Camelot. Gaius sent a letter. I....." Her face is flush. She doesn't look scared but Merlins heart drops anyway

"Arthur...." Merlin starts

"He's fine, he's fine" Hunith walks towards her son, cupping his face in her hands.

She laughs. Full belly and full of joy, her hands on his face strong, they almost hurt.

"He repealed the magic ban Merlin. Oh my boy by royal decree"

Merlins knees nearly give out.

"Surely you aren't serious....." Merlin gasps. "Do you have the letter?"

She hands it over and he reads frantically.

My good Hunith.

I write you instead of Merlin for reasons that will become obvious.

I also just request more of that dried lavender you sent last time, it does not smell the same from the north.

How is your neighbor Gregory fairing with his leg? My tonic recipe helped I hope, I would like to hear how it went.

There is news from Camelot. You might have heard, it will make fast news I'm sure.

A girl was brought to court for magic. Hardly 12 summers, she swears she did not train for magic, that it came naturally and she has no control.

Arthur was hesitant to burn her, despite the law, and tasked me with examining her.

I explained my findings, you know my friend how truly common it is to have magic as the girl does. Arthur listened well, and I sent the king off with what recommendations I could.

There are few books left on the subject but he spoke to Geoffrey. I assume he found some enlightened reading.

The next day, his verdict was as follows.

"The law of the land, as set by my Father King Uther, is that magic has no place in Camelot. I quite agree. Magic is dangerous, it has raveged my family.

But I can't help but think these laws might create more enemies. I cannot kill a girl for a crime she did not willingly commit. But I cannot banish her and create an enemy."

The council spoke on formal matters and specifics but Hunith, it is looking well. I feel hope I haven't had in decades.

Arthur has repealed the magic ban, in part. There are specifics to be worked out, and it is unclear if it would apply to Merlin. It certainly wouldn't apply to myself.

I will write again when I have more details.

I wish I could see the boy's face when he hears the news. Give him my love

Gaius

Merlin reads it. Than again. The third time he skims it he is tearing up. Looking desperately for any sign that Gaius tells a lie.

When he finds none, and there is no answer but that Gaius's words are true.

Merlin weeps. He falls to his knees and weeps.

Hunith cradles his head, spilling some tears of her own.

"oh my boy" she says. "What news. I knew Arthur would be a good king." She presses a kiss to her son's head.

Merlin cries, and wonders why he feels more scared than ever.

#merlin #arthur pendragon #bbc merlin #fanfiction #drabble #just had to get it out.

[hufflegruff]

Chapter 2: A Knowing Look

Pairing: Sebastian x F!Reader Summary: In which Sebastian is whipped and literally everyone can see from a mile away that this is more than friendship.

“Sebastian, would you like to join us next time?” “Oh me? Beasts watching?” He drawled absentmindedly, “Can’t say it’s really my thing.” Poppy nodded, “I figured as much. But our dear friend has recently been so terribly insistent on finding the snidgets before the poachers do and I feel bad for taking up so much of her time. Seeing as you’re courting, I thought you might like to spend more time together.” Sebastian stopped and his brain short circuited entirely. What did she just say? Did Poppy Sweeting just say courting?

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 AO3 link

Chapter 2: Poppy

Sebastian felt a little ill. 

Like a thousand lacewing flies were lodged deep inside a crevice in his stomach, threatening to burst and split him wide open.

Perhaps it was the pumpkin pasties from lunch. Perhaps Lucan Brattleby poisoned him out of spite after he’d told him that he’d have to miss Crossed Wands due to more pressing matters. Perhaps it was the plague.

Whatever it was, he needed it gone. Like pronto.

After Ominis’ outrageous comments and his whole spiel about friends not looking at each other like that… Well, it was all he could damn well think about now. 

Especially now that it was just the two of them. In close proximity. In a secluded corner of the library where the eyes of prying students couldn’t reach them. 

She sat calmly next to him. Her attention solely on the pile of books in front of her. How? He wondered, when he felt so unsettled. Their knees were just barely touching. Their shoulders were a Diricawl feather apart. Their breaths were atrociously loud in the silence. Sebastian’s mind was racing a million miles a second.  

Damn Ominis. Making him over-think.

Okay fine. Sure. Sebastian tended to keep an eye out for her. Which to the untrained eye (or the blind), could be misconstrued for lovelorn longing.

But how could he not look out for her? When she was practically a walking Ashwinder magnet, Goblin bait and a flight risk balled into one. If he didn’t, who knew what kind of ridiculous trouble she’d get herself into? As a friend , that would be terribly thoughtless of him. This misunderstanding honestly just stemmed from his good conscience as a friend, worried for another dear friend.

Yes. That was well and truly it.

But then again… he supposed there was also the matter of her appearance.

As if it had been waiting on cue, the clouds parted and the library skylight casted a perfect beam of light onto her. He took this chance to look at her properly, to observe the focused crease of her brow. The rougeish glint in her eyes. The soft curve of her cheek. The flecks of light caught in her hair and the way it cascaded over her shoulders. The traces of scars on her fingers from burdensome battles and arduous work. The delicate shape of her neck. The slight pout of her lips. 

All of these parts of her came together, through hell and fire, to forge her. The prodigal hero. The slayer of trolls. The girl like no other.

And Gods, was she pretty. 

So pretty that it was difficult for him to look away.

But that didn’t mean anything. None of it meant anything. Because friends could certainly be pretty. Sebastian had been friends with tons of pretty girls before. And it was just a fact of nature that pretty things were made to be looked at. 

His eyes dropped to her fingers that stroked the edge of an old book. All of a sudden (overwhelmingly at once) the urge to hold onto it became not a want but a need.

Was it dastardly (blasphemous? outrageous?) to assume that some pretty things were made to be touched too?

He was so close to her. If he just reached out his hands he would —

Oh no. No no no.

He shooed away the rogue thought that sneaked its way into his mind. Merlin’s beard, how did that get there?

In a quick bid to distract himself, he picked up a random book from the pile she had haphazardly curated. But that proved to be a terrible mistake, when - what he assumed must’ve been - centuries worth of dust scattered into the stagnant library air. Sebastian went into an ungraceful coughing fit.

“What does Thistlewood have us looking for again?” Sebastian choked out as he waved the dust out of his eyes. 

She didn’t look at him (to his disappointment) but replied, “An old book. Helena said she heard a rumour that her ancestors hid an enchanted map to the heirloom in an old book in the Hogwarts library.”

He raised a brow, “Okay? Anything else?” 

Was that too haughty? Too sardonic? If she was annoyed, she didn’t show it.

But surely there must be more. Surely Helena Thistlewood gave the Hero of Hogwarts more to go on than that. 

“Unfortunately,” she replied diplomatically, “That’s all the clues I have at hand.”

Nevermind that she had just admitted she was grasping at straws - she still wasn’t looking at him. Why wouldn’t she look at him? He knew they were here with a job to do - but the books couldn’t be that much more interesting than him that she couldn’t even spare a glance. 

Could they? 

Sebastian always felt an inexplicable compulsion to look at her (as all friends would, he assumed). So by some wicked thread of logic, he believed it would only make cosmic sense she felt the same. 

“Well, I’m not sure if you’re aware, but this entire library is filled to the brim with old books,” he quipped wittily.

And then finally, after what felt like aeons, she turned to look at him. Sebastian had to physically fight the smile that threatened to form on his face. Her attention was all too thrilling. 

Perhaps he would’ve been better off if she hadn’t looked at him. Then he wouldn’t have suffered the terribly ill fate of looking so bloody stupid. 

Unbothered, she coyly replied.

“Shrewd as ever, Mr. Sallow. They don’t call you the brightest wizard in Slytherin for nothing,”

Mr. Sallow. Oh, the way his name rolled off her tongue was much too lovely. 

“You do know that this means we could be looking for days? ”

“I never said it would be easy,” She said.

“You never said it would be impossible either,” He bantered. 

Their exchanges were never a song and dance. It was like fencing. Every quip a lunge, every retort an en garde. But that made him love it all the more.

“Well I thought you’d be up for the challenge. Hidden treasures tend to be - well, hidden.” She said with a hearty laugh.

And like kerosine to a flame, the sound made his chest swell.

“Who knew that you’d be sending me on an impossible goose chase,” Sebastian said with a dramatic sigh.

Not that he was complaining of course. Despite the niggling pit in his stomach that knew he couldn’t explain why - he revelled in every moment he was blessed to spend in her company.

She rolled her eyes, “Don’t even pretend like you don’t love it.” 

Okay, now the smile on his face was truly repulsive. His cheeks were getting sore. 

“Oh no, I absolutely adore it.”

She swatted him gently with the stray book in her hand. But soon enough (too soon), her attention went back to the task at hand. He could feel the pout growing on his face as he watched her bury her nose deep into another book. 

Sebastian genuinely tried to help. He truly did. But the moment something no longer amused him, he was a lost cause. And while he was only joking, he was starting to feel like maybe this was proving to be an impossible task.

So instead, he chose to spend his time observing her. Until something caught his eye. 

The edges of her school robes were… singed? The seams were frayed and burnt, which was odd. When did she manage that? He hadn’t noticed that earlier. 

“What happened to your robes?” He asked.

Unexpectedly, she stiffened and looked away, “I’d rather not say.”

Now his curiosity was truly peaked. What deviousness did she get up to in his absence? What schemes was she committing without him?

“Well now you absolutely have to say.” He said.

Sebastian detested secrets he was not privy to. Especially hers. With every ounce of charm his brown eyes could muster, he looked at her expectantly, imploring her to tell him. 

When her face turned a delightful shade of pink, he knew she had folded. Check and mate.

“Fine.” She conceded.

On the edge of his seat, he urged her to continue.

Hesitantly, she did, “…I had a rather unfortunate accident yesterday.”

Sebastian cocked an eyebrow, “What did you do?”

“I might have… accidentally held my wand the wrong way round and confringoed myself in a duel with Clopton…”

Oh. Oh? Did he hear that right? 

Of all the things that she could’ve said, he was certainly not expecting that. He tried his best — he genuinely did — to not laugh. But he simply could not help himself from breaking into hounds of laughter. 

“Shut up!” She hissed, “It’s not funny Sallow.” 

As he wiped a stray tear from his eye, he quipped, “I beg to differ. It is actually very funny. I might have to rescind the title of best duellist in Hogwarts with that kind of shoddy wandwork.”

The glare on her face alone could’ve taken down trolls.

“Not even two rounds of washing got rid of the stench!” She yelled in whispers.

“I think that makes it objectively funnier.”

“You’re infuriating,” she huffed, “And I smell like burnt toast.”

He gave her a cheeky grin, “Oh, don’t be like that. I’m sure you smell fine. Lovely even. Let me see.”

“Hey, wait a minute—!”

Before the protests could leave her lips; before the rational part of his brain had time to think,  Sebastian moved towards her. Like lightning to the tallest peaks; like a comet caught in gravity's pull — he moved towards her.  

As he breathed into her, her breath hitched. 

Just as he had suspected, there was no hint of anything unpleasant. She smelled of mallowsweet and pine trees and warm fires. The mallowsweet she grew diligently in her garden. The early morning dew of pine trees from the forbidden forest. The crackle of her usual seat by the common room fireplace. 

If he could commit a scent to memory, Sebastian decided that this would be it. How was it possible that a smell could feel like home? What undiscovered sorcery was this? She didn’t smell like Feldcroft or the Undercroft — but it gripped onto him like a warm embrace that he yearned to always return to. 

It left him in such a daze that when she cleared her throat, it sounded miles away.

“...Sebastian?”

What was he doing again?

Right. He was reassuring her. That she was all good.

So how did he end up in the crook of her neck again? 

When he noticed how close he was to the delicate curve of her neck, he knew that he was in trouble. And he thought they were sitting in close proximity before. How in good conscience did he allow himself to get here?

Evidently, his conscience was not at all good and very much out to destroy him. 

When he finally gathered the nerve to bring his eyes to meet hers, he realised that she was looking directly at him. Her eyes were heavy with the weight of something indiscernible. Whatever it was, he couldn’t read it - but he could sense it was important. All of the sudden, the air in his lungs wasn't enough to keep him going. The words in his mouth wouldn’t form coherently.

Was it just him, or was the room spinning? 

Despite himself, he managed to get out in a whisper, “Just like I said. Sunshine and daisies.”

And more his traitorous mouth itched to confess.

Beneath lowered lashes, she replied barely above a whisper, “...thanks.” 

To his surprise, the look in her eyes turned bashful. Which was… something. In their time together, Sebastian had seen her embarrassed and flustered; but not once had he seen her bashful. Bashfulness was reserved for demure wallflowers and girlish first years. Not the hero of Hogwarts.

And in this moment, Sebastian cursed her for it.

Never in his 17 years of feeble existence had he seen anything so disgustingly disarming. And bloody hell, for the sake of his poor, erratic heart, he would need her to swear on Salazar to never ever, ever, ever ever look at him like that again — 

“Oh, hello friends!” 

Like a douse of cold water, a cheerful voice broke them out of their reverie, and suddenly they were scrambling apart. The air shifted. The tension dissipated. The scent of her no longer pervaded his senses. There was now (what felt like, at least to Sebastian) an astronomical distance between them. All that he had left to show for it was the stupid look on his face.

Sebastian felt like he was waking up from a fever dream. He didn’t know whether he wanted to jump for joy or throw up. Whether he was relieved or infuriated by the intrusion.

Who was it that intruded anyway?

“P-Poppy!” The girl beside him exclaimed, looking like a deer caught in headlights herself.

“Poppy.” Sebastian repeated, almost robotically.

Before them stood Poppy Sweeting, with a wide-eyed smile on her face. If she had noticed any tension between them, she didn’t mention it. 

“Sorry to interrupt,” Poppy said, apologetically.

“Oh not at all!” His friend said hurriedly.

Sebastian begged to differ.

Poppy turned to address the girl wonder directly, “I was wondering if you had that magical creatures book? Natty and I were planning on visiting the fwoopers den up North, and I was hoping to bring it out with me today.”

Abruptly, she jumped from her seat and snapped her fingers in recollection.

“Oh! Right. I left it with Scribner at her desk. Let me go get it.” 

With rushed fervour, she stood up to go. Her hair and the folds of her skirt swayed hurriedly behind her. He watched with heavy eyes as she walked out of sight; as she robbed him of mallowsweet, pine trees and warm fires.

Now that she was gone — without rhyme or reason — his chest felt hollower. Why? Surely that lonely feeling that gripped his chest couldn’t have been from her absence. She would only be gone for a few minutes at most. What was he — a hapless puppy? 

Poppy’s bright voice broke him out of his trance.

“Sebastian, would you like to join us next time?”

His brain was still spiralling, so it took him a while to process the question. Or even realise that Poppy was speaking to him. But he managed to muster enough mental energy to reply.

“Oh me? Beasts watching?” He drawled absentmindedly, “Can’t say it’s really my thing.” 

Hippogriffs aside, he never really cared much for beasts no matter how mythical. And it wasn’t like he and Poppy Sweeting were particularly chummy either. 

Poppy nodded, “I figured as much. But our dear friend has recently been so terribly insistent on finding the snidgets before the poachers do—”

“Sounds just like her,” he interjected. It was valiant and righteous and just so bloody like her it made him want to scream. Just a tiny one, to help relieve the lingering warmth and tightness he felt in his traitorous chest.

Poppy continued, “—and I feel bad for taking up so much of her time. And seeing as you’re courting, I thought you might like to spend more time together.”

Sebastian stopped and his brain short circuited entirely.

What did she just say? Did Poppy Sweeting just say courting?

He swore he physically felt the neurons in his brain melt, “We’re not - I don’t - She —” Once again, Sebastian found his words failing him.

Poppy was looking at him expectantly, like an over-eager kneazle. But the weight of her expectation crushed him. After a few agonising moments of Sebastian completely butchering the English language, Poppy finally caught on. Sebastian’s words refused to cooperate, so he could only watch feebly as the gears seemed to finally turn in Poppy’s head.

“Oh!” She said in disbelief, “Sorry! I just thought, the way you were looking at her - and you looked so close that —”

Oh God. The way he was looking at her? Poppy Sweeting just basically implied that he was a hapless puppy. Obviously, Sebastian knew that the thoughts on his brain were a complete travesty — but he didn’t think he wore it on his face. 

Did he? Well apparently fucking so.

Sebastian was mortified. “It’s not like that,” he said quickly, “We’re just friends.”

A tentative pause filled the air. To his dismay, Poppy only dignified his response with a look of sheer disbelief. As if he’d grown two extra heads and still couldn’t find between them a single brain cell. 

Sebastian felt the urge to crawl into a Dugbog nest so he could be swallowed whole. If even Poppy Sweeting was questioning their relationship, then who else? Ominis he could handle. But the rest of the student body? He wouldn’t survive it. 

“Friends.” Poppy repeated the word painfully slow, as if tasting the word her tongue would help make it all make sense. Eventually, she nodded and said cryptically, “I see.” 

“Yes. Friends.” He repeated.

The cavern of lacewing flies that plagued him earlier returned, and they were back with a vengeance . It’s not like he was at all prudish. Let it be known that Sebastian Sallow was no stranger to a romantic dalliance or two (Third year was a whole thing, don’t ask). Flirting was his status quo, being charming came to him as easily as breathing. As naturally as a moth to a roaring open flame.  

But courting? Her? The very thought made his insides scream.

Poppy looked unsurely at him, as if she had much more to say (or protest even). But she kept her mouth shut to maintain the civility of it all, as if she decided that even one word more would likely fracture Sebastian’s thin semblance of normality. And Poppy didn’t want to be to blame for his pitiful unravelling. 

So they just sat in silence.

“Here you go Poppy!”

Eventually, when their friend returned, she was surprised to find both her friends sitting in complete silence. When she handed Poppy her book back, she was taken aback by the pitiful look in her eyes. And as if to apologise, (for what exactly she had no idea) Poppy gave her a soothing pat on the back. She said a quick thanks and left. 

The girl wonder turned to look at Sebastian curiously, but decided against prying. 

From the look on his face, she had a feeling that whatever it was, was better left alone. —— We love to see Sebastian flustered!!!

I have like little bits of all the chapter written out, and this took me way longer than I thought it would! Hopefully yall enjoy the pining and how in love Seb is <3

Thank you so so much for everyone who liked and reblogged, they really made my week! Also thank you @peterwandaparker @wt-fxck @pugsnotdrugs92 @ithinkweallsing For your lovely comments <3 This is a side blog so I can't reply but I'm soooo glad you guys like it!

#sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow x reader #sebastian sallow x you #sebastian sallow x mc #sebastian sallow fanfiction #sebastian x reader #sebastian sallow imagines #sebastian sallow fic #hogwarts legacy

[whydon-twego]

Merlin remembers the flat, emerald-green hills when the sun rose and caressed his skin, warming it after the cold winter nights.

He remembers the festivals, the barefoot dances in the earth, he remembers the laughter, the children playing happily at their parents' feet, and the smiling faces of the old people exchanging stories in front of the fire.

He remembers the nights of the full moon when they would all gather in a circle around the fire to talk about the day, to exchange advice, to tell horror stories to strike fear into the children who never had to stray too far or they would never return home.

And then remember when the horror really happened.

Merlin opens his eyes and sees no green hills but only wreckage and blood covering the ground.

He sees bodies of people he has known for years lying on the ground with wide, terrified eyes staring straight into the void.

He sees death.

And his heart weeps and bleeds for his people who are now gone.

"Emrys, what shall we do?"

Merlin twitches his lips at that title but says nothing about it, the few surviving people trust him and he already has too many deaths on his conscience, he is not worthy of the title of Emrys.

"Uther Pendragon has made his decision tonight. And he will suffer the consequences. Aithusa!" The dragon, who was resting after the journey she had made with Merlin, got up and went to her master, who stroked her muzzle and looked at her with sad eyes.

"We have one more journey to make, my friend."

"Emrys, you cannot go alone!"

Merlin turns to the few remaining people and feels his heart clench in a vice.

He will avenge them.

He will avenge them all.

"Not a house will stand in Camelot, not a single road will be remembered to lead to that cursed place, and not a single arch will stand of that damned castle. I cannot afford to take you with me."

His mother always told him that death only brings death. But his mother is no longer there because Uther Pendragon has decided that druids and magic holders are dangerous people. So there is no one left to stop him and Merlin has no intention of being stopped.

The war has begun.

#merlin emrys #god merlin #god emrys #uther pendragon #merlin bbc #bbc merlin #druid merlin #aithusa #dragonlor #dragonlord merlin #dragonlord emrys #my writing

[inalandofsadclowns]

So we know Merlin had shared all of his magic and destiny related worries with Gaius, dilemmas like laying his secret out to Arthur, Morgana, or anyone ever, or the trusting Morgana and Mordred against the profecies, and there's a steady pattern of Gaius raising serious and eventually prevailing doubts in Merlin about doing all of these things. Right, Gaius has a fine ability to talk Merlin down from doing and saying stuff.

If only Merlin had mentioned his consultations with the shifty, vengeful, lying dragon as well...Wouldn't Gaius caution Merlin against that, too? Then imagine if Merlin's conscience wasn't overpowered by fear of the ominous words of a centuries old magical creature. It's possible that without Kilgarrah's constant presence in the equation Merlin would never have come to doubt Morgana and Mordred so irreversibly. That would have done more good than stabbing Morgana in the back instead of opening up to her I think. But seriously, why didn't he mention the dragon then?

I had always found it odd that during his most impressionable era Merlin never talked about Kilgarrah to Gaius. It's also out of character for him not to discuss it. Maybe Kilgarrah put a spell over Merlin that keeps him from mentioning his own input to the greatest warlock's decisions or manipulated him otherwise, maybe he even "warned" Merlin not to do so?

What I'm thinking is Gaius once used to known Kilgarrah personally before the great purge and had some juicy conflict with him that we don't know about.

#if they make a prequel I want them addressed too #bbc merlin #merlin meta #merlin #gaius #kilgarrah #enough you're going in the queue

[merlincersei]

Merlin BBC UK TV Show - A Psychological Analysis Series Part 1

What Does It All Mean ?

Part 1: Introduction to basic psychological terminologies

According to Freud’s psychoanalytic theory, the id is the primitive and instinctual part of the mind that contains sexual and aggressive drives and hidden memories, the super-ego operates as a moral conscience, and the ego is the realistic part that mediates between the desires of the id and the super-ego.

Eros is the drive of life, love, creativity, and sexuality, self-satisfaction, and species preservation. Thanatos, from the Greek word for “death” is the drive of aggression, sadism, destruction, violence, and death.

Part 2: Desire vs Control

In the show, dragons are ancient magical creatures, possessing powers and knowledge that is unattainable to humans. We can make a distinction between dragons as being primeval nature on one side, and men as civilization. To function in society, we have learned either to suppress our base instincts or at least to express them in a sublimate way.Following instincts without any restraint is dangerous, as it would bring havoc. Therefore, it’s forbidden. Something similar happens in the series, only these instincts (libido in particular), take the shape of magic.

Part 3: Magic represents homosexuality

Throughout the history of Abrahamic religions, there has been a connection between magic and (deviant) sexual practices. From the osculum inafme (kissing of donkey’s anuses and kissing the Devil’s anus) to witches who were supposedly inserting hallucinogenous mushrooms into their vaginas. The series association between magic and non heteronormative instincts (libido) becomes pronounced as series progresses.

Part 4: Uther’s relationship with magic

In Merlin’s world, most dragons have been slain. The only surviving dragon is chained in a cave by Uther’s orders. Uther here acts as the enforcer of social norms or in other words, he symbolizes the external force (parents, law, religion etc) that instills the rules Arthur and Merlin internalize (Superego).

Uther (society) recognizes practicing magic (acting on impulses) as dangerous behavior, and consequently he tries to eradicate it. Magic (sexual impulses) are part of human nature, however, and regardless of how much Uther tries, he will never be able to eradicate it completely. The best he can do is to chain it. We constantly see Uther over reach his repression against magic (sexual impulses) to reach his peace of mind, he uses his destructive impulse (thanatos) to counter his own sexual drive (eros).

His guilt emanates from the fact that he himself harbours some queerness. This is emphasised in the episode Ghost of Uther Pendragon, where Uther uses magic himself.

Part 5: Uther’s relationship with Arthur:

While Uther is showing himself as the typical distant and repressive fatherly figure, he has at the same time channeled all his hopes and emotions on Arthur, almost as if afraid his faults would show in his son’s behavior. To avoid that, he had trained Arthur strictly from early childhood (‘trained to kill since birth’). Nevertheless, his strict education (military training, because military supposedly makes a real man out of a boy) has left his son emotionally impaired and unable to show affection sincerely. No wonder Arthur’s allowed to show only his masculine, aggressive side, while his love for others is expressed silently, with deeds, or through insults.

Part 6: Kilgaragh is Merlin’s Id

The depths of the dragon’s cave again represent the subconscious, where repressed instincts and desires (the dragon) dwell. When Merlin descends into the dark cave, that equals descending into his preconscious and communicating with his subconscious (more concretely one part of the subconscious - the Id).

Merlin starts hearing the dragon soon after he met Arthur (in the first episode – The dragon’s call). In other words, the encounter with Arthur compels him to search for his sexual identity. The very first time he hears the dragon’s call, Merlin is in the prison, in which he ended because of Arthur. Such a nice metaphor for Merlin’s inner turmoil.

Nevertheless, Merlin manages to reach the dragon only in the middle of the night, woken up from his sleep. We can interpret this as Merlin finally facing his subconscious desires in his dreams. Dreams, if we follow Freud’s explanation, are always a fulfillment of desires. (Later Merlin is able to talk to the dragon also in the middle of the day, fully awake. This means with time he starts to accept his desires and is able to access his preconscious more easily.)

It’s interesting how Merlin had to trick Uther’s guards to get past them and reach the imprisoned dragon. We see this only for the first time, so we can assume later Merlin is not intimidated by Uther’s (society) rules as much anymore.

The overlapping of magic and homosexual libido becomes evident in Merlin’s case. Merlin hasn’t learned magic; he was born with it. It’s a vital part of himself – without magic, Merlin is nothing, as he told Gaius. Yet while Merlin was already accepting magic as a vital part of himself, even if with a few doubts (he wondered if he’s a monster), he wasn’t fully aware of what his magic actually is.

The dragons tells the truth behind that magic (instincts) and clearly states Merlin’s attraction for Arthur. By saying that Merlin and Arthur are one side of the same coin, the dragon expresses Merlin’s desires for Arthur as his sexual mate as well as the sexual union with him.

This unavoidable truth (Merlin’s sexual orientation and attraction to Arthur) is phrased as ‘destiny’ that Merlin cannot fight.

Merlin’s first reaction is denial. The dragon must be wrong. Id, however, doesn’t know about right or wrong (that’s the prerogative of ‘higher planes’), only about needs and the urge to fulfill them as soon as possible. Coincidentally, the dragon insists that there’s no right or wrong, only what is and what isn’t.

For Merlin, finding out what there is and what isn’t still poses some difficulty. Merlin often says he does not understand what the dragon wants him to do, and other times he thinks the dragon demands from him things that are wrong/unethical.

I could say there seem to be several communication problems between Merlin and the dragon, much in the same way messages from the subconscious come distorted into the ‘conscious part’ of the psyche.

We know the dragon’s intent is to be released, to be free, and that he cares of little else, just like instincts don’t care for any moral precept.

Later in the series (episode To kill the king), the dragon tries to persuade Merlin to kill Uther (all right, to let others kill him) and remove the oppression, but in the end Gaius and Gwen (acting as Superego) convince Merlin otherwise. It’s a nice example of the Ego being torn between the Id and the Superego.

The negative effects of following the instinctive impulses without restraints show again during the episode Le morte d’Arthur, where Merlin listens to the dragon and seeks Nimueh’s help in order to save Arthur’s life. He thinks he bargained his own life in return, but as it turns out, he sacrificed his mother’s life instead.

Note again how magic, the old religion, doesn’t care about who lives or dies, doesn’t care about morality. The only important thing is that ‘the balance is restored’, or in other words, that the needs/desires are fulfilled.

Merlin is confronted with the ‘animal’ part of himself: he realizes the dragon knew his mother would die. He is shocked and disappointed, since he considered the dragon a friend, a good counselor.

The dragon’s reply to that is how Merlin and the dragon are more than friends; they are kin. They are the same person, we could say.

Merlin, however, cannot accept the part of himself that is willing to sacrifice his mother in order to save his own life and the life of his (sexual) mate. Therefore, he decides to keep the dragon chained forever and deny it a proper life; he decides to ignore instincts completely.

Instead, Merlin decides to follow Gaius’s example. By wanting to altruistically sacrifice himself, Gaius again acts as Merlin’s Superego; a benign side of the fatherly figure (as opposed to the negative aspect of the father that Uther represents).

Part 7: Excalibur represents Merlin’s desire for Arthur’s Penis

Another instance where the dragon is the sexual force that drives Merlin toward Arthur is in episode nine (Excalibur). Merlin prepares a sword for Arthur, a magnificent sword, imbued with the power of dragon’s fire.

Swords are often seen as symbols of masculinity, or phallic symbols.

We have to interpret that as Merlin’s readiness to be sexually united with the object of his desires . If you want to see the sword as Arthur’s masculinity, then we can interpret this instance as Merlin’s desire for Arthur’s phallus.

As we know, in the end it’s Uther who wields the sword and not Arthur in this episode, meaning that Uther suppresses both Merlin’s and Arthur’s sexuality. On one side, Arthur is locked in his room – he has even been drugged in order to be kept ‘safe’ and ignorant of his true nature (that he is in a way a magical creature).

On the other side, Merlin’s feelings and desires toward Arthur have been intercepted by Uther. Despite being angry deep inside (the dragon is furious), he sees that for now it’s safer to throw the sword in the lake. By that, Merlin suppresses his needs and postpones the desired sexual act. Water and the bottom of the lake are only a metaphor for subconscious.

Therefore, the sword at the bottom of the lake represents Merlin’s and Arthur’s (homo)sexuality that is yet to be fully awaken.

I will explore more on this topic in subsequent threads.

Thank you for attending my mini TED talk.

I look forward to answering any questions you may have and I will defend Merthur to death (you have been warned).

#arthur pendragon #bradley james #merlin bbc #merthur #lgbtqia shows #queer coding #gay subtext #colin morgan #merlincersei #Youtube #uther pendragon #merlin meta

[bunnimew]

We were tagged by @9haharharley1 and @overmooneleven who could not have foreseen what a production this was going to turn into 😂 Thank you!!

RULES: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

*Gets out the record player* There's required listening while scrolling this list...

Now that the mood has been appropriately set, here we go!

Warm Bodies 10 Edit9It'sYourBoyJackFrostAightSo High Seas Hijinks pt 2 Android Pitch Neon Ideas Von Kaiser Mix Tape If you don't dance, no romance Jack Frost and the Quest for the Stanley Cup Let Your Conscience Be Your Guide YA Novel Merman/Nature Elf Baby It's Cold Inside Everything but the fresher sink Halloween bodyswap Saiyuki Fantasy AU Coffee and Fruit Snacks Untitled Document Blackice ABOlive Garden Concerned Neighbor AU Obsolete Force Monsters Donut Saga 2022 RotG Bingo RotG Bingo 2021 Free Day Light Magic Soulmate AU Sleight of Hand Android AU Wing fic space vampire arranged marriage fake ppl scifi book pogo kylux AU Hope Week 2022 Let's Play AU Clydeland Ghost roommate Omega hux Techwear AU Original magic apocalypse Holiday kylux Pink hair hux Goose steals the staff Quarantine Kylux twitfic college au ST/Kylux Omega hux sequel cyborg hux Fuck this I'm outtie hux Loud AF kylux Loud AF blackice Every floor is Loud AF Loud AF Zag and Than Angel/Demon AU Gymnast hux Parkour hux 5 times hux blows kylo A/B/O Hades Kylux A/B/Olive Garden Disney Princess Hux Hutt slave Mitaka Femlux Afterlife Bloom Halloween2020 sen aid + sen kid kylux Trivia and Other Flirtations Gertrude Pink hair Jack + Hux Teacher/Teacher Merge ST and EU frank/strange Bingo Fancy Dinner Matchmaker Cape Selection AU Senate Takeover Manny Moonbear's Pizzaria Guardians in Black Party fancy pitch Jasper/Lapis Suzalulu week 2016 horror ideas Untitled Terminator Game Terminator Ideas Frank/Strange coffee shop au Ideas for erotic stabbing Suzalulu week 2017 Zell birthday Gratuitous sleepytime Lulu the professional hand model au Peter has two dads au RotG Coffee shop AU Veelamate AU Sorceress Jack Guardian of the D Blanket Scenario i think Saiyuki bang 10k Clover AU Wizards unite AU X/1999/RotG [Redacted] Pitch's New Groove PoGo AU spacerace magic repo RotGRepo! Colormate AU Overqualified Merlin Caffeine and High Fructose Corn Syrup O2: Teammates Spideypool Bingo 2019 B1: Personal Trainer Spideypool Bingo 2019 Spideypool fairy AU Tie fix Soulmate tattoo AU 3 5 10 AU idea Silent Hill AU O1: Met at the Dog Park Spideypool Bingo 2019 ff8 werewolf au Buffate 2 Kink series Dance All Night Let Me and Your Body Talk Pounded in the Butt by the Physical Manifestation of the Fear That I Will Never be Good Enough While He Tells me I am Good Enough Also He's British  Silent Hill AU Bathtime Evening Horror Husbands Fic art 1 Morning cuddle Fic art 2 Spinel Jack Cover art Croptops Spiderman kiss Gargoyles

We literally do not know as many people as we have WIPs. I'd have to pull out the yearbook and start tagging people from high school and we're not going to do that. But we do have to tag @seekerseekingsomething for reasons they will understand and @askmyname @quillienvii @pheasantmadness for Other Unsaid Reasons ❤

#WIP #WIP list #Ask away! #O Fortuna #Youtube

[adhd-merlin]

Some exquisitely crafted paragraphs from horsecrazy's modern Merlin AUs on AO3 (filed under: sentences I wish I could write):

In the solid daylight of soberness, [Merlin] would have noticed he was endangering his friendship; but whilst the alcohol had dethroned his brain, and made of his penis a lively successor, he noticed only that he was hard, and Arthur was hard: and grabbed him by the tie to annihilate him. There was a blinding transition, from sharing space to impinging on space; in a moment they went from smiling stupidly at one another, to kissing stupidly at one another. Arthur cracked his shoulder against the wall; but having brought Merlin down with him by his grasp on his shirt, kept kissing incoherently on him. It was something like inhaling, instead of kissing; they were trying to subsist on the kissing, rather than breathing: and doing it not entirely shabbily, Merlin liked to think, since they were both still living, and snogging.

Next morning Merlin performed his morning ablutions of pissing, and puking. He had stumbled into the bathroom for the one, and realised he needed the other. Thus could he be found at 8.00 on a Sunday, bringing back the mimosas for curtain call; though fortunately he was doing it in solitude, whilst Arthur slumbered in bliss. He was throwing up his guts, and his feelings, of which he was having too many at once.  He was realising now, with his head over the toilet, what he had been too muddled to realise last night; or, at least what he had been too muddled to contextualise. In the stupor of wine he had put his fingers in Arthur’s bum; and never considered what the act would do to him, or to Arthur, or the friendship. He had been in that mad dreamland in which the drinking soul reels about amidst such improbable things as inconsequence; he had been running about in that grand fairyland where today is today and tomorrow mere fancy: and now in the cold light of puking what he had left were his grubby conscience, and pants. He felt as if his heart were coming up with his guts. It was one of those moments in which it feels as if the soul must be coming up; and in communion with the toilet he realised what no God or science has answered, of what petty stuff is man made. He was a creature of sick; the physical sort, and the soul sort; and letting out a bit of his philosophical discovery through his nose, he flushed the toilet, and lay down on the floor.  

— Though Love Like Light Can Flee

Therein was the rub: not that he had done what men had been doing since time immemorial, by putting his dick in a hole; but that he had done it with someone he loved. With a straight man he loved, with his whole moronic heart. All their friendship he had been killing without mercy those small and futile hopes which the ordinary friend raises by making the ordinary gestures of friendship; and now he was choking on them: rather like Arthur had choked on his cock. The irrational heart of him had sat up, and said, not entirely irrationally: he put our dick in him; a not tremendously heterosexual thing to do. Arthur, an ostensible straight, had got on his knees, in front of a definite bisexual, and licked him till he was coming. He had taken Merlin; and afterward stood to be taken by him. So after the initial sickness, the troubled night he had spent wondering if he had not a heterosexual mate, but any mate at all, he had a lift in him; that tremendous surging of longing which men kill or are killed for. The love was huge in him; the franticness of it was beyond the confines of his small and human body, so that he had to feel the unease of his own inadequate skin.

— Prick Love for Pricking

#“the love was huge in him” #this line is poetry #it didn't just stand out to me #it stood up and punched me in the chest #all of the author's writing is extremely quotable tbh #i dont really read modern AUs but the writing style drew me in #more humorous fics please #underrated skill #recs #fanfiction #cbk1000 #merlin

[xjulixred45x]

Arthur Pendragon/King of Chaos X Reader

I inadvertently deleted the request for this scenario, so here is a short version of it, Arthur with a wife(reader) who has a dangerous magic, consequently, makes her very vulnerable.

Thanks @ultravioletqueen for the order! I've been wanting to write about Arthur for a long time, although I like almost everything in 4KotA (except Loli Guinevere, please take that out).

Character: Arthur Pendragon/King of Chaos

Genre: Headcannons

reader: female

Warnings: illness (?something like that), sick/weak reader, Arthur himself is a warning now, spoilers for the four knights of the apocalypse manga, mainly Fluff.

There are two ways in which you two could have met (even if it ends in the same scenario).

The first (and the most probable) is that You both met after the anime (that is, in 4kota) and the second (less likely) is that you met during the series, but the first possibility will be used mainly as a reference (apart from the fact that there Arthur is already an adult).

Your kingdom became one of Camelot's greatest allies after the holy war, they were fed up with the other races doing what they wanted with their lives, so they provided Arthur with all the necessary support (be it ballistic or magical, spreading their ideas, etc.).

Thanks to this they gained a certain level in the Camelot hierarchy, and that is where you, the princess of said kingdom, come in.

For as long as you can remember you never knew how to control your magic well, no matter how hard you tried to measure it or take it out, or it was something very small or it almost killed someone (or you), so you decided better to just contain your magic and hope that nothing will happen.

Spoiler, something happened.

And it is that your body could hardly handle the intensity of your own magic while you were growing up, it was like having a container that was too small, and when you tried to release all that pressure you almost killed half of the curt.

As a consequence you were weak all the time from the force you had to exert to prevent the magic from coming out and it still did sometimes, you were so depressed about it all.

And your parents too, they decided to take a chance and use their connection to the king of chaos and find out if there was something, anything, to help you.

Arthur was interested to see this new type of unknown and apparently powerful magic, besides, your kingdom would not be of much use without an heir, so he agrees to see you and try to help you.

Even so, he doesn't admit it, the first time he saw you he felt sympathy for you, having all that potential that at the same time destroys your conscience, he understood it and was willing to see what he could do.

The first few days he came I was accompanied by Merlin, who did a few tests and Arthur made sure that the energy waves of your magic will not affect them.

While Merlin was doing her thing, he would walk around your room/tower and talk to you, quite basic at first, but as you went, showing more of your side without pain, he became friendlier, more sincere.

There were times when he only came to keep you company (because very few people came close for fear of your magic) and in general he tried to cheer you up and so that you did not feel so isolated, it was a breath of fresh air for you, and for him.

Someone so innocent wouldn't have to go through all that physical and emotional pain, It motivated him in a certain way, wanting to change the world for people like you.

After a few months Merlin already knew what you had and how to help you, Arthur was surprisingly happy, considering that at first it was just a means to gain more sympathy, now he felt very comfortable with you and it definitely didn't go unnoticed.

Let's just say what Merlin made was an amulet that drains your magic enough to finally be able to live your life in peace, the happiness with which you ran to hug your parents fearlessly for the first time in god knows how long was just adorable.

It was the moment he realized he was in love.

Going directly to when You two are married, I think Arthur would be very cautious with those who talk to you, many people will see the potential of your magician to be destructive and will want to have her-have you as a weapon, which for Arthur is obviously a big NO.

you are not a weapon, you are his wife, the queen of Camelot.

He will not let you be disrespected by treating you like an object.

He sees you with a Real respect that many people don't show him (with one hand and you have plenty of fingers) but still he can't help but want to protect yourself from everything.

Very affectionate behind closed doors or alone, hugs, kisses, snuggling, everything. If you are the one who initiates the affection it is even better, you will stay trapped in his arms until you ask him enough to leave you or until he has to attend to some real business.

You're just like his favorite stuffed animal, especially if he sleeps with you.

He wants to keep away from everything shady about the "everlasting kingdom" plan, he would be really sad if you come to be afraid of him or even suffer because of him, he sees you as a fragile spirit and he is so afraid of crushing you with the truth.

Usually having those kinds of thoughts just makes me clingier than usual, wanting hugs or saying "I love you" almost out of the blue.

I imagine that there are days when Merlin has to extract the magic accumulated in the amulet, so your pain can return either very slightly or terribly, depending on the day.

In those situations, you are practically forbidden to move or make a basic effort, seeing you in pain overcomes it, so he expects to have it attached to you during those days.

The only thing I'd let you do for yourself on those days would probably be going to the bathroom (no kidding).

All his knights know how to bow to you, not only the heiress of one of his main allies, but also the king's wife, no one is foolish enough to try to hurt you.

Sometimes he'll just sit on his throne with you on his lap telling you about his day (excluding the bloody parts) and probably because of this you know even more about the current situation than many of his trusted knights.

It's slowly turning you into a spoiled person, you literally just have to mention something you slightly liked and almost the next day you have it.

He definitely wants a family, he is a king after all, he needs an heir, but he will wait until you are ready both physically and mentally for that.

For what happens in the manga, you most likely also know about the knights of the apocalypse and vice versa, so just as a precaution Arthur would not let you leave Camelot until he has everything under control with his knights.

When he returns from his first run-in with the knights of the apocalypse, you expected anything but a radiant Arthur, but he just wanted to go to sleep with you (and maybe more than just sleep).

(probably with the residue of your magic Merlin is planning something sinister bastard, I'll leave that to interpretation).

As long as Arthur knows you're safe, happy, and healthy, he can handle anything.

#arthur 4kota #4 knights of the apocalypse #4kota #four knights of the apocalypse #arthur nnt #arthur pendragon #fem reader #anime fluff

[diana-bookfairchild]

Fanfic Recs

One fanfiction recommendation for each of my fandoms on AO3!

If anyone wants a particular genre (Harry/Hermione, Merthur, Harry is raised by someone else, Percico, God Percy etc.) send me a PM or comment and I'll see if I have something!!

Harry Potter: The Sum of Their Parts by holdmybeer

I literally have no words to describe how incredible this fic is. Dark Lord Harry Potter usually has unreasonable descents into darkness, ridiculously perfect Harrys and breakings of friendships, but this one gives it a whole new twist. Harry as a dark lord in this is VERY believable and his relationships with Ron, Hermione, the other Weasleys and the DA remain as strong as in school and become better in fact. Teddy is adorable and Harry is a wonderful godfather. The struggle with his conscience on what he's doing, Harry's immense magical power, Hermione's in depth knowledge and Ron's advice and strategy and their teamwork, and the technicalities of being a Dark Lord are very well described. Gen, with no focus on relationships. It ends abruptly, and the emphasis on the title itself rather than the deeds of a Dark Lord is a bit weird, but it is AMAZING. Check it out!

2. Marvel Cinematic Universe: Never Odd or Even by memoriaeterna

Are you looking for something to heal you from No Way Home? Or in fact from Endgame, Loki or WandaVision? Featuring BAMF Peter Parker, redeemed Loki, Peter and Loki friendship, Irondad, Stephen and Peter friendship, Wanda and Peter friendship, good!Thanos and Hela (well, sort of, anyway) and time travel, this fic is IT. One of the best fics I've read. Purely gen as well.

3. Merlin: Seeds of Darkness by N16

A realistic Merlin fic beginning from mid-Season 5 that reveals Merlin's magic and has a happy ending? Surely not! What I really loved about this fic was that it didn't follow the 'Prophecies are BS! Arthur learns about Merlin and is immediately horrified about what he's done for 'destiny'' route. Arthur does confront Merlin about this, but it is a consensus that prophecies are something to be wary of, and that destiny IS a very strong force. With a lovely Arthur and Merlin friendship, a wonderful take on Mordred and his relationships with Merlin, Arthur and the knight, a fix of Gwen and Merlin's friendship, Gwaine and Merlin friendship, BAMF Merlin, and a realistic progression of wary-and-slightly-horrified-Arthur-and-knights to them accepting the magic, this fic is one of the BEST. Gen, with Arthur/Gwen.

4. Chronicles of Narnia: Grey England by Alara

This fic is a lovely incomplete piece of how the Pevensies adjusted to being children again and back from Narnia. A very realistic take on how they didn't lose the qualities that had made them the monarchs of the golden age, but retained their childishness and flaws as well. Lucy's struggles at school, the Pevensies' close relationship, the friends of Narnia and Susan's drifting apart are all splendidly done. Gen.

5. The Queen's Gambit: The Slav Defence by Skellypup

This fic is still in the beginning stages, and the first chapters are not very well formatted, but the premise is interesting. Time travel has given Beth an incredible opportunity, and her reconnecting (for her) with Mr. Shaibel, Jolene and Alma, and her struggles with her addiction are very relatable. Gen for now, with tags suggesting Beth/Benny later.

6. Song of Achilles: My Grave; My Heart by fouryearslaterdrabbles (Cheshire Cat Life)

A cute oneshot about Patroclus remaining beside the grave and interacting with gods who are now forgotten. Mostly Gen, but hints of Patrochilles (mostly pining).

7. Miraculous Ladybug: Strings Attached by macaronize

A light soulmates AU. Identity shenanigans, misunderstandings and heartache ensue. The resolution could have been better, but it was definitely a fun read. Marinette/Adrien, side Alya/Nino.

8. Sherlock Holmes (Downey Films): Marriage a trois by Sorrel

Maybe Mary Morstan/John Watson/Sherlock Holmes isn't everyone's cup of tea, but I love the relationship and I ADORE this fic. Both Mary and Sherlock are of course already in love with John, their falling for one another is gradual and believable and everyone's characterization is incredibly on point.

9. The Hunger Games: The First Rebel by Linquist

The first and only OC-centric fic I'll recommend in this list, because Cara and this story are amazing. A brilliant take on an alternate 75th Games involving relatives of victors. Cara is a character with incredible depth, and the other OCs - Kol in particular - strike true as well. This story is complete, with a sequel underway. Meant to be Gale/OC, but Gen until now.

10. Frozen: Chaste as Ice by Karis the Fangirl

Not a particular fandom of mine, but this story is really very good. Kristoff/Anna and their impetuous natures, Kristoff and Elsa's friendship, Kristoff's protectiveness over her and a discussion on the realities of being a female ruler. Just. . . Sweet found family fluff.

11. The Lizzie Bennet Diaries: Hypotheticals by Matril

Fanfiction within fanfiction! Lots of relationship fluff. Ingenious idea of alternate scenarios of what could have happened being discussed by the characters themselves. Lizzie/Darcy.

12. Carmen Sandiego: Saved For Memories by Rueitae

A fic exploring Player and Carmen's friendship. Player is kidnapped by VILE and the faculty's characterization is outstanding. The metaphor used for the rescue is heartbreaking, and it's always nice to see Carmen outsmart the villains! Gen

13. Descendants: you love a pretty girl with a twisted mind by meliebee

Headcanon of a fic detailing the growing up of the Isle kids. Rotten Four as family and BAMF Mal. Gen, with Ben/Mal at the end and slight Uma/Mal and Harry/Mal.

14. Enola Holmes: In Spite of Ourselves by Eienvine

Angst galore! Enola not knowing how to emotion, pining, lovely family moments with Sherlock and Eudoria and a good old kidnapping to resolve it all. Enola/Tewskesbury

15. Kane Chronicles & Percy Jackson: The Death God Alliance by Asilda

I can't recommend this enough!! This series is beautiful. Nico stumbles across the House of Life, gets a god inside his head, nearly sparks an inter-pantheon war and befriends Carter and Sadie. Featuring the big brother Percy we should've gotten. Gen. Later fics feature Percy/Annabeth.

Hope you enjoy the fics!! Reblog and comment!

#fanfic recs #fic recommendation #fic rec #fanfiction #harry potter #merlin bbc #the hunger games #sherlock holmes #miraculous ladybug #kane chronicles #percy jackson and the heroes of olympus #mcu #iron dad #song of achilles #queen's gambit #enola holmes #descendants fic #carmen sandiego #lizzie bennet diaries #frozen #chronicles of narnia

[insinirate]

gales origin is something you mightve had to be there for bc i dont think i can in good conscience tell ppl this pansexual fuckboy gamer is the reincarnation of gods most holy knight galahad and has gay sexual tension with the mean gay stoner reincarnation of merlin the wizard of arthurian legend

#who btw is also friends with king arthurs jocknerd lesbian reincarnation #anonymous

[bridgertonbabe]

Can I just say I absolutely love all of your mischievous William drabbles in all your AUs?! He’s so cheeky and troublesome. Poor Benedict seems to be at his wits end. Would you be able to write something where Will & Benedict have a really sweet / serious heart to heart (in any of your AUs)?

Ah yeah, ngl William has become a favourite of mine to write due to how much of a little shit he can be 😂 And Benedict probably ends up muttering on a daily basis "that boy will be the death of me" because of all the mischief is youngest son gets up to.

But of course, in spite of the clown persona William wears like a badge of honour, there is a sensitive side that he very rarely shows. I'm going to opt for this heart to heart between father and son to be set in the Harry Potter AU as Benedict offers William some words of wisdom.

"William?" Benedict knocked on his son's open bedroom door before entering to find him lounging in a beanbag chair with a faraway look in his eye. "I'm just about to help myself to a slice of your mum's blueberry pie, did you want me to cut a slice for you as well?"

William broke out of his pensive reverie, blinking in his dad's direction and Benedict was about to head off and cut two slices anyway, knowing how predictable his son was when it came to matters of the stomach - but then something unusual happened.

"No thanks."

Benedict felt as though he had been hit with a stunning spell. In fact, maybe he had. He honestly wouldn't have put it past his youngest son to have perfected a non-verbal stunning spell to cast on him in order to run off downstairs and have the remainder of the pie to himself.

"Really? You're telling me you're not hungry?"

"I'm really not." William said with a beleaguered shrug.

"Merlin's beard; are you okay?" Benedict frowned and approached his son, now thoroughly concerned with his son's welfare - he had never known his son to not be hungry or turn down food of any kind.

"Yeah, 'm fine." William replied and slumped down further in his beanbag.

Benedict wasn't buying it. For a second he briefly considered that this was all an act William was putting on and once he had fallen for it his son would pull the wool over his eyes - but no, it couldn't be; he knew William too well and he knew his son's glum demeanour was genuine.

He brought a hand to William's forehead to check his temperature but it was perfectly normal.

"Are you feeling under the weather? Do you feel lethargic? Fatigued?"

"I'm fine, dad." William insisted.

Benedict looked down at his son who was avoiding meeting his eye, and while he knew William would have preferred for him to just walk away, he couldn't in good conscience turn his back on him when he knew his son was going through something.

Instead he settled down in the neighbouring beanbag chair and quietly waited. They sat there in silence for several minutes and Benedict was sure it was the longest he had ever gone being in the same room as William without his son making a single sound. But then, just when he began to think William wouldn't speak at all -

"I don't know what to do." William uttered in an uncharacteristically small voice.

"About what?" Benedict pressed gently.

"I... I've upset someone. Someone I really care about." William revealed and scratched the back of his neck, which was a sure sign he was particularly uncomfortable about what was being spoken about.

"What did you do?" Benedict enquired (though he thought a better question would probably be "what didn't you do do?").

"That's the thing. I have no idea." William shook his head cluelessly. "I've gone over everything in my head again and again and again to try and figure it out but I've got nothing."

"Have you tried asking them what it is you did wrong?"

"They're avoiding me. Not responding to me. Not giving me the time of day. Nothing."

Benedict grimaced and sympathised for his son. He knew the greatest way for a person to cause his son any emotional upheaval was to give him the silent treatment; it positively killed him. William, who thrived off of attention at all costs had never been able to cope with being ignored. It was a concept lost on him and the practice served as a form of torture for William Bridgerton. Who was he if people weren't laughing at his jokes or enraptured by his conversation or amused by his antics?

"I see."

"I just don't get it. What could I have done wrong to make them stop wanting to have anything to do with me?"

"Well,"

"And before you say everything I do is intentionally wrong; no, it's not. I might tease and take the piss out of most people but she's one of the only few that I don't."

It was quite a fascinating insight. Benedict was aware that it was a rare feat for anyone to escape William's wind-up wrath, and the only person he knew who William left out of his campaign of annoyance was his dear mother. William might joke around with Sophie but he never mocked her and he certainly never pranked her like he did every other resident of My Cottage. He wondered who else William had chosen not to pick on - and it intrigued Benedict to hear that this person was a "she".

"And why's that?"

"Why's what?"

"Why is she exempt from being on the receiving end of your mischief?"

"Because." William replied and for a beat Benedict thought that was all he was going to get. "Because she doesn't deserve it. She's the sweetest person I know. I wouldn't dream of doing or saying anything to even remotely annoy her."

Blimey. Benedict thought to himself. He wondered if the "she" in question knew just how much power she had over William for him to not want to annoy her in any way.

"So why has she stopped talking to you?"

"That's what I would like to fucking know." William grumbled and folded his arms crossly. "I haven't said anything that she could take in the wrong way and I haven't done anything that would warrant her being upset with me."

Benedict glanced at his son and saw the way his green eyes shone with growing despair. His heart went out to him and it genuinely pained Benedict to see his youngest son suffering the way in which he was. It was so very rare that William was ever vulnerable and to bear witness to it it was almost jarring.

"She means a lot to you." Benedict observed.

"Yeah." William grunted. "She's... she's my best friend."

Benedict couldn't help but feel a little puzzled, seeing as he didn't actually know of any girl best friends that William had. Sure, his son was popular and there were definitely friends in his life that were girls; but none he had mentioned too prominently to make Benedict think that any of them were his son's best friend.

"I thought we'd always be friends. That nothing could get between us. But now all I get from her is radio silence. And I feel like it's something that I've done wrong because why else would she stop being my friend? I mean, have you ever had something like this happen?"

Benedict couldn't stop the snort that exhaled from his nose.

"What happened?" William clocked his head with interest towards his dad. "Did you upset someone?"

"Oh. Big time." Benedict nodded as memories flashed back from his disastrous times of yearning after Sophie before they had gotten together.

"Well did you make things right? What was the resolution?"

"Yeah I made things right. Then I married her and we went on to have four children together."

William sat up straight. "What?" he squawked. "You and mum fell out before you got together? How is that possible?"

Benedict found his son's genuine shock rather adorable. His children found his relationship with Sophie to be so lovey-dovey and filled with such unyielding love that he supposed it made sense for any of them to find the fact they had once gone several years without properly speaking mind-blowing.

"Because I managed to mess things up. Twice. And I didn't even realise what I had done until your Uncle Phillip spelled things out for me."

"Merlin's beard, dad. What did you do?"

And then Benedict launched into all the ins and outs of the beginnings of his relationship with Sophie. How he had suddenly recognised his feelings for her after a kiss at the Yule ball, the comments he had made that she had overheard, how they both acted as if nothing happened and yet Sophie distanced herself from him altogether, how much he pined over her in the interim, how bringing a stop to a drunken kiss (there was no need to mention to his son that it was far more than a kiss) on a Greek beach led to a miscommunication with Sophie running off crying. William was gobsmacked to learn that his parents relationship hadn't been the smooth sailing he had always believed it to be but nevertheless he listened with intrigue as Benedict recounted how things had finally been amended and how it led to them becoming a couple after years of mutual pining.

"So yeah. It could be worse; you could have screwed things up as badly as I did." Benedict grinned jovially.

"But you didn't technically do anything wrong."

Benedict was flabbergasted by William's remark, not having expected his son to have his back, especially as he had just been regaled with the story of how his dad had greatly upset his mum on two separate occasions.

"You said some comments you didn't mean because you were confused and trying to buy some time to figure out your own feelings. It was just unfortunate that mum happened to overhear you say that at that moment in time. And then you only put a stop to the kiss on the beach because you didn't want her to think you were only kissing her because you were inebriated, plus she stormed off before you got the chance to properly explain. You hardly screwed up, dad. It was just a case of miscommunication and misunderstanding."

Benedict stared with amazement at his son; he was pretty sure this was the first time his son had ever taken his side on anything and he couldn't quite fathom it.

"Regardless, Will, it was all still such a mess. I hurt your mother even though I never intended to and as a result we both spent years yearning for each other. If I hadn't screwed up the way that I did we might have gotten together sooner and then we'd have had even more time together. It's my biggest regret, wasting away nearly seven whole years when I could have changed all of that by simply telling her how I felt." he sighed and reflected on the "what if?" that still occasionally plagued his mind, imagining what might have been had he fully recognised his feelings for Sophie then and there at the Yule ball and acted on them accordingly instead of getting scared. "Will, if this girl means the world to you, then you need to tell her. Don't shy away from the heart of the matter like I did. Cut to the chase and express how you really feel. I don't want you to live with the regret that I do."

"You know what, I think you're right." William nodded slowly. "Maybe I neglected her without realising or maybe there's been some sort of misunderstanding... but you're right, I've got tell her how important she is to me."

"That's the spirit." Benedict smiled and clapped him on the back. "And I know it might seem risky telling a girl that you're in love her,"

"Wait, what?" William spluttered and darted his head towards his father. "I'm not in love with her, dad! She's my best friend and I love her a lot, I care about her; but I'm not in love with her."

Benedict opened his mouth to tell William his fortune, that actually it was plainly obvious that he was in fact in love with his best friend, before thinking better of it. Telling William he was in love wouldn't make the boy see sense. No, he'd just push back against the suggestion even if there was truth to it. Clearly his son was either in denial or just oblivious to his own heart; but that was something William would have to figure out for himself in his own time, as frustrating as it might be for Benedict to sit back and watch.

"Right. My apologies."

"Honestly, dad. Just because you fell in love with your sibling's best friend doesn't mean the same goes for me." William snorted before jumping to his feet and stating his change of heart about the pie and leaving his bedroom.

"Oh, William. You idiot." Benedict muttered under his breath, shaking his head affectionately before following after him.

#requests #bridgerton drabble #harry potter au #william bridgerton #benedict bridgerton

[airbrushfather]

OKAY IM ABOUT TO START SPEAKINGGGG

the fact they're still doing staggered teasers is INSANE behaviour. it's august 24th, and if we assume there's going to be 7 or 8 attractions this year (3 mazes, 3 zones, a show, and possibly a roaming team) even if they were dropping one announcement a day that would put them at august 31st-september 1st for announcing the whole lineup - but the kicker is - They Don't Drop A Teaser Every Day.

let's live in a world for a second where they do drop a teaser every day for the next week. that still leaves the park with only seven days to drum up excitement for oktoberfest, which is any uk park's least attended event simply because it happens in september - which is a low foot-traffic month to begin with. plus, oktoberfest at merlin parks is famously underwhelming -- i've never felt the urge to go to an oktoberfest event and i'm the freak that i am. maybe it's of more interest to the general public than it would be to me (or even your standard enthusiast) - because of the beer - but the fact is that oktoberfest is simply the least engaging of the 4 events tpr are offering this year - there's no exclusive food offering, very little entertainment (carnival and mardi gras have shows, fright nights has the scare attractions, oktoberfest may have like. an oompah band.) there's not even extended opening hours - a smart business decision by tpr, yes, but one must wonder if it would draw more people in - perhaps an evening crowd would be enticed if there were extended hours, people coming after work or school to enjoy the 'vibes' and a coaster or two. but, i digress. all of this is to say - oktoberfest needs all the help it can get. leaving it with only seven days of devoted social media attention, especially after the buzz that would be caused - at least in the enthusiast community - by the fright nights lineup announcement.

whatever the play is here, it's wild, and it does disservice to what could (potentially) otherwise be an event just as exciting as carnival or fright nights, if it was given the right amount of attention and marketing. i love the staggered fright nights teasers (and i hate them, it's a double edged sword), but it must be drawn into question whether - with the lineup announcement being made such a big deal, as it has in recent years since ka productions started leading the marketing - they are unintentionally erasing oktoberfest from the public conscience, and whether, were the timings handled differently, oktoberfest could thrive and not just serve as something to tide over the ents team between summer and halloween.

#danny talks tpfn #i missed the announcement because i was writing this post lol #it'll only be doors though i bet #this is my equivalent of cricket for some of you guys #im in my psbb era

[southfarthing]

here, at last, on the shores of the sea

(1.1k, non-graphic violent imagery. crossposted to ao3)

Merlin and Arthur return to Camelot after ending the war. Or rather, Arthur does.

They make it.

It doesn’t feel real, seeing the familiar walls, but Camelot is there, as ever. Merlin almost wishes it wasn’t. This is all he’s ever known. All he’s ever wanted, aimed for, fought for: a home he can truly belong to.

The long years he has toiled inside these high walls have kept him faithful – or perhaps locked in – but they have never eased the fear that flares within him at any cold look, any gleam of chainmail, any loud shout. All this time, he has told himself that one day he would tell Arthur and be understood. Valued. It has always been what kept him doggedly following in Arthur’s footsteps. Merlin wonders now if he ever really believed his own whispered consolations.

The walls tower over them, and Merlin realises his horse has slowed down. He doesn’t know if it’s because he has slowed it himself or because his magic has made his anxiety a tangible pull on the reins, but it makes him lower his gaze.

Around them, the land is quiet, as though it, too, is holding its breath for Arthur’s return. For the return of magic. It is an endless sort of waiting, one that becomes an act in itself: Merlin knows it well.

And yet, now that the wait has an end in sight – an end with ornate glass windows and with flagstones scrubbed clean of blood – Merlin finds himself shrinking away from it. Hiding in the shadows has become a habit – survival – for him. The thought of staggering blindly under the fiery wrath of the sun is too much.

He can’t do this. Camelot has been a place of smoke-smothered hopes; the screams have died out, and the fires have scorched their ends into the earth, but Merlin can’t move away the cloth clamped against his mouth. He has forgotten how to breathe the city air without drowning in the terror of it.

The whole way back to Camelot, Arthur rode silently, sullenly, always a beat ahead, never needing to turn back to check: he knows Merlin will always be there. Even after Merlin’s revelation, he knows Merlin has no choice but to follow. No amount of power will stop Merlin from being a pawn for forces greater than him.

Merlin tries not to think about Arthur. This isn’t about him. Arthur wasn’t entirely forgiving, but he had Merlin come back with him all the same. He accepted Merlin’s help, gratefully and openly, despite his clear confusion. But no, this isn’t about Arthur. Or at least – it isn’t about Arthur’s eventual favour.

Merlin looks at the walls of Camelot, and he feels the lock clicking against his ribcage. He doesn’t know if it’s to let him crawl out or keep him tied down. All he knows is that he can’t willingly walk in and learn which it will be.

(Arthur’s POV below)

The pain from the wound still burns, but Arthur’s head is clear. Clearer than it has been in years, now that the doubts always on the periphery of his conscience have been spilled out in the open.

Merlin – magic. It is a heavy, bitter truth, and the weight of it keeps Arthur’s fingers tightly curled around the reins of his horse. But Merlin is still here.

He is always here, even when Arthur has no right to expect him to be and Merlin should by rights loathe him. And if Arthur knows Merlin at all, he will still be there when Arthur casts off the pain and exhaustion of so many losses. He will be waiting in the corner of the room with that insistent yet quiet sort of loyalty that always makes Arthur feel curiously deserving of it, though he has never been able to think why. Now he’s not sure he ever has deserved it.

But today, Arthur is weary. They are home now, and they can rest; and later, he can think and talk and understand. He can have Merlin finally shrug out from beneath the secrets he has drawn across his chest for so long.

The silence is broken by the first cry at the gate: a guard has seen them. From there, it is only a matter of being helped down and swept into a current of chainmail and linen as soldiers and townspeople alike flock to him, gushing out from the gates to greet him. For the first time in his life, Arthur cannot deny that the love he has for his people may finally be returned, though the praises they give him cannot be shouldered by him alone.

Arthur loses sight of Merlin among the gathering. His eyes search instead for the glint of Guinevere’s crown. As the crowd begins to thin and step back, he sees Sir Leon; the shocked relief on Leon’s face is instantly replaced by a reverent smile and a nod before Leon dashes back up towards the citadel. Back up towards Guinevere. So she made it back safely.

Heart eased, Arthur lets his people lead him to the gates of the city. Their initial joy has quietened into something more humble: the damage of Morgana’s war is still too raw. So Arthur walks with them quietly, and his smile fades as the fatigue begins to seep into his bones once more.

He is ready to end this day, this war, these long years of violence and fear and death. He is ready to close this chapter of history and start afresh, with Guinevere at his side and his knights around the Table, and Merlin…

And Merlin deserves more, for everything he has done. For everything he has inspired and helped Arthur to do. Not to continue standing behind Arthur, but to be beside him, seen and appreciated, and to have his deeds known by more than one.

Arthur doesn’t even know the extent of the lengths Merlin has dragged himself to, bleeding and gasping for a seemingly hopeless cause, but he knows the way he has pushed Merlin aside all these years is wrong. No more.

The crowd parts to let him through the gates, and determination grips Arthur. He stops and turns back. They should start the new Camelot now; they should walk through side by side.

There is no familiar head of black hair, though. There is nobody there, and no horse other than Arthur’s. No sign that Arthur ever returned home more than alone.

‘Merlin?’

-

thank you so much @lightasthesun for all your help and terrible influence haha <3

#merlin #bbc merlin #merlin fic #merlin fanfic #merthur #merthur fic #merthur fanfic #merlin fanfiction #bbc merlin fic #bbc merlin fanfic #mine #*merlin #merlin: fic #my fic #fanfic #sorryyyyyyyyyy