#but like? his songwriting? his voice? if he were to go solo it would be unstoppable | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

atinysunbaby · 4 months

Text

Request from : @ateezluvv

⌛Ateez Maknae line having a crush on you⌛

Hyung line

🖤Choi San🖤

You have been working at KQ for a few months now, as a songwriter and you were assigned a personal space with a desk, computer and everything needed for the process of your job. During the first few weeks, the manager wanted to test your capacities and see how well you work in a group project. He sent you through days of endless work and you managed all the pressure quite well.

Your coworkers helped in making your integration easier by being nice and friendly and you adapted better than you would've expected, and the atmosphere in the workplace is always pleasant. Up till now you've participated in the writing of a few songs and small projects for both ateez and xikers, meeting ateez only briefly during a meeting.

You're first impression is that they are polite and hardworking boys and although you were aware of their beauty, you weren't ready to be hit by such powerful visuals.

Later, you were told about a project coming up and you were proposed to work with San on his solo. You meet for the first time in your studio, San's dimple popping out and greeting you early in the morning and it instantly warms your insides.

"Good morning~ I brought you a coffee, I don't know if that's alright?" He asks, sleep lingering in his voice, you can tell by the deep and raspy tone that makes goosebumps rise on your skin the moment it hits your eardrums. "Oh yes that's perfect! Thank you, really."

Your answer seems to please him, as his teeth make an appearance and his eyes almost close from the strain. He sits next to you on the extra chair you bought a few days beforehand, preparing for this day and maybe future tasks. "Let's begin!"

Now over two weeks working together with San and you can't help but feel a bit sad that the song is almost ready, having spent a lot of alone time with him made you grow attached to the kind hearted and endlessly charming man. "I think we might be done."

Those words hit you harder than you thought, it feels like a train ran you over. You don't like the way your heart aches, but it is what it is. "I enjoyed working with you San, thank you."

He smiles for the nth time, but something's different about this one, it doesn't reach ihs eyes and the dimples aren't as defined. "Yeah, uhm.. me too! I hope we can do this again in the future."

The next few minutes are filled with a tense atmosphere, the only sound heard being the shuffling around as you both clean up and gather your things. "Actually."

You almost jump at the unpredicted sound of his voice, turning your full attention to him and it shocks you to find him fumbling with his lyrics sheets, ears and cheeks red, lips pressing together making his cute dimple face unresistible. "I was wondering if you'd be interested t-to go on a date with.. me?"

You freeze for a second, being surprised and absolutely pleased from the unexpected request. "I'd be happy to, of course San."

💚Song Mingi💚

The boys decided to go out tonight and blow off some steam, drinking and dancing through the night. Mingi wasn't really up for it at first, his perfect night would have consisted of reading mangas or watching animes while eating some snacks before going to bed early, but the others convinced him and he ended up not regretting listening to them.

He's been watching you for a while now, having caught his eye almost immediately after he sat down in one of the booths, telling the others he would start the night by staying back for a bit. Now he has the perfect excuse to analyse every single details about you and he finds you absolutely stunning, you might just be the most beautiful girl he's ever seen.

He notices your smile first, so bright and full of grace, it makes his heart flutter uncontrollably and he loves it. Then his gaze trails over all of your features, your lightly made-up eyes sparkling under the dimmed lights and the way they hold so many emotions at the same time, your adorable button nose that moves whenever you talk and your lips, round and plumpy with a coat of rosy gloss for an even more seducing appearance.

He swears your hair probably smells like heaven and he wants to run his fingers through it, massaging your scalp to feel you relax under is touch. "Yo Mingi! Min- Guys we lost him, poor dude."

Your black lacy bustier, revealing just the right amount of skin to leave more to the imagination, your cropped blazer hugging your frame perfectly, the short leather skirt with a small slit on the left side, tight around your juicy thighs making him lose his mind and cute little boots to contradict the rest of your sexy look.

"What the hell dude, what even is this?" Wooyoung shrieks in disgust, elbowing San in the ribs while watching one of his best friend drooling over some bartender he's never met before. "I don't know, might wanna wake him out of his fantasies though."

"Yeah, that shit's on another level of creepiness." Yeosang states while bitting his nails in concern, his eyebrows scrunched and a judgy stare directed at Mingi. "You troublemakers leave Mingi alone, it looks like he just fell in love."

"Seonghwa. If Mingi wasn't handsome, everybody would find it creepy and don't try to deny it." Seonghwa looks at Yeosang, defeated. "Yeah, maybe you're right."

"Ok enough of this." Yunho grabs his friend by the shoulders and briskly shakes him out of his daze. Said boy looks puzzled for a minute, no clue as to why he's being disturbed. "What?"

"Are you serious? You have no idea why I had to intervene from whatever delusion was going on inside your head, like you haven't been checking that girl out for the last hour?" Mingi instantly flushes red, his thoughts having cut out most of his rationality and he had no idea it had been that long. "Just go talk to her."

"No. I can't." Mingi refuses without a second thought, feeling anxiety creep up inside of him and being powerless against it, his limbs paralyzed with fear. There's nothing he wants more than to run over to you and strike a conversation to hear your most likely angelic voice and be blessed by your beauty up close, but unfortunately for him, his body had another plan. "Hello there~ Did you guys need anything?"

"Oh yes! I think my friend here had something he wanted to ask you?" Said friend being Mingi, is ogling you and seems to have lost all of his brain cells. You're even more perfect than he imagined, your features are enhanced and the aura that surrounds you is enough to enlight his senses. The distance between you both is so short that he can smell your sweet, fruity perfume and it calms his nerves a little bit. "Umm yeah. Hi I'm Mingi."

"Y/N~" You say with a smile, waiting for him to continue with intrigue. With a sudden boost of confidence, Mingi speaks up in hopes to be rewarded for his effort. "You're absolutely gorgeous and seem nice so I'd like to take you out on a date sometime- if you want to of course! Would you mind if I gave you my number?"

❤️Jung Wooyoung❤️

"I don't mean to tell you how to do your job, but I think this step is wrong." Wooyoung speaks up with uncertainty in his voice, it looks like he doesn't want to offend you, which is not the case. You've been teaching him a choreography for a new dance cover and have been at it all day, somehow you're tiredness must have taken control over your body, because you're usually fully focused. "Yeah you're right sorry."

"No that's ok, don't worry about it. Hey do you need a break- or we can stop for the day?" He's genuinely so sweet, you're supposed to be the one taking care of him, but he's taken that part very seriously. Making sure you stay hydrated every once in a while, getting you some snacks in order for you to have enough energy, checking the time to make sure you take breaks over the span of a few hours and whenever there's a slightly sudden movement in the routine, he checks up on you through the mirror, making sure you didn't hurt yourself. "No need, all good- Well, do you want us to stop though?"

You turn around, facing away from your reflexion to look at the boy, only to find his concerned stare already on you, searching for any sign of discomfort through your features. "We can keep going for a bit, but let's finish up soon."

"Alright then, let's start from here." You press play on your phone, the music coming through the speakers and you immediately get to dancing, Wooyoung following suit.

He did notice how exhausted you look and it doesn't help that he 'accidentally' heard the conversation you had with your best friend over the phone while on your lunch pause. You were whispering, but he couldn't help being nosy as usual and found out that you've had a bad recent break up, barely sleeping and eating, your nerves hard to control at times.

For the rest of the day, he felt a foreign sentiment in the pit of his stomach, there's also a familiar anger. One thing he's sure of, it's that he wants to pay a visit to the person who hurt you this badly and do much worse to them. "Wooyoung? Hey, are you ok?"

You wave your hand in front of his face, heart beating rapidly because of fear and worry, he's been standing still for over a minute, eyes fixed on the floor and filled with an emotion you can't quite make out. "Wooyoung!"

You try to step back, as he suddenly grabs your wrist. You seen to have woken him up, out of his weird trance, but you end up almost bringing the both of you on the hard ground as a result. "Shit! Are you alright?"

You can't focus on any word he's saying, the muscular arm that's wrapped around your waist and the feeling of his strong fingers squeezing your hip making you feel a bit dizzy. "Y/N?"

You look up at the soft call of your name, liking the way it came out of his mouth. For the following moment, you just look into each other's eyes, no words needing to be said, until Wooyoung breaks the silence. "Can I kiss you?"

🧡Choi Jongho🧡

"Cut! Jongho you need to look into her eyes, got it?" Jongho nods his head in agreement, saying a soft 'understood' to further show his understanding, but from next to him you can easily make out the faint blush spreading from the tip of his nose, all the way to his ears and the side of his neck.

For this scene, his character has to gaze into your eyes while confessing and keep a confident front, but Jongho keeps failing, not being able to keep eye contact with you for more than a few seconds. "Don't be nervous, just look at me and you'll be fine."

You try reassuring him, ignorant to the fact that you just made him even more of a nervous wreck and no matter how much he wants to be able to calm down from the sound of your voice, he can't. The truth is that he's started to develop the biggest crush on you and it's the first time he can't hide his feelings.

Everybody knows how good of an actor Jongho is, ense the reason why the staff and even you, are pretty surprise at his lack of self-control. "Why don't you guys take a ten minutes break? Maybe, go over a few lines together."

"Thank you!" You bow to the director and grab your co-actor's hand, unconsciously interlacing your fingers and the boy follows without fussing. With no doubts, he cherishes the moment, especially as you're the one who initiated the skin contact. Although he knows there isn't any another motive behind it, other than bringing him with you to a specific destination.

You find a quiet and slightly closed space, in hopes to make him feel more comfortable, but he actually appears to have the opposite reaction. Having for mission to keep a big distance between you two, Jongho almost rams into the wall behind him when you step forward to start a conversation.

His heart aches the moment he has a glimpse of the hurt expression on your face, you're quick to mask it, but it's already too late. You glance at him through your lashes when you hear a deep sigh coming out of him, followed by a nervous laugh with a hint of pain in it.

You watch curiously as he runs his hands over his face and he straight up looks at you without flinching away this time. "I like you. I did for a while now, but it's too much for me to keep hiding my feeling anymore."

"Wow you did it! I knew you could, but you know that's not exactly your line right? You're supposed-" He gasps like a fish out of water, trying to comprehend the situation. Only to painfully realise that you thought this was him acting and he suddenly feels like throwing himself off a building. "N- No wait that's not- I wasn't practicing.."

"Oh.." You immediately shut your rambling mouth, confused more than anything, but eventually, grasping the seriousness in his demeanor and hoping to make the poor guy's life a little easier, you speak up. And he's almost on the verge of imploding at the time your voice rings in his awaiting ears. "Well then, you probably wouldn't mind practicing the kiss scene?"

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sweet-creature101 · 1 year

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Kiwi

Summary: Harry recently started his solo carrier and Sarah recommmeds y/n as his lead guitarist. Harry finds himself intimidated by y/n and y/n could not care less.

famous!harry ; an enemies to lovers trope

part two

warnings: mention of alcohol. Swearing. Suggestive language and sexual tension.

“Come on Harry trust me on this. It won’t go downhill. She’s really good.” Sarah pleaded her case for the tenth time since the past one hour. Harry was certain she would talk his ear off.

“What was her name again?” Mitch asked Sarah.

“Y/n.”

“Sarah, I don’t know about this. I’ve known you all since a long time and it’s easy to work with you.” Harry said, slightly skeptical about a new addition to his team.

Harry knew who you were, a very successful songwriter and one hell of a guitar player. He knew you worked with bands like 5sos, 21 Pilots and even wrote a few songs on Taylor’s swifts album, Reputation. He saw you at a concert once and immediately fell in love with the way your presence consumed the concert wholly. No one cared about who was singing because everyone’s eyes were fixated on the young seductress clad in black leather and playing her instrument as if her life depended on it.

“You can only grow if you’re out of your comfort zone.” Sarah firmly stated, crossing her arms over her chest huffing out a breath.

Harry thought about it for a good minute. He needed someone with experience and you seemed to have it. You knew how to write and what to write. Perhaps a little experiment wouldn’t be so bad.

“Okay. I’m trusting your judgement on this.” Harry said nodding.

“Great because y/n’s in the elevator right now.” Sarah said giggling slightly. “Thank God you didn’t say no. Would’ve been a difficult conversation.” She mumbled, relived at how the situation panned out.

The apartment bell rang and Sarah jumped out of her seat startling Mitch who was sitting next to her. She took long strides towards the door.

“Y/n! Oh my gosh, it’s been ages! You look wonderful!” Sarah said hugging you. You smiled and hugged her back, glad to meet her once again after what seemed like a century.

“Thank you. How’ve you been?” You asked her, not bothering to take note of the two men who seemed to scrutinise your interaction with quite a lot of concentration.

“Same ol’ same ol” Sarah chuckled as she let you in.

“Harry, Mitch meet y/n.” Sarah introduced you to them. You found yourself in an awkward postion so you simply gave a wave and a loose smile.

If Harry was a ball of sunshine then you were a raging hurricane. The two of you were polar opposites. Harry radiated warmth and seemed to be the kind of person whom other people could talk to. Meanwhile you on the other hand were someone who kept to themselves.

Harry couldn’t help but notice your sweeping eyeliner. He observed it quite attentively, how it was winged at the edge of your eye and in the inner corner as well in a feline manner. You wore low waisted jeans with a fitted graphic black tee shirt that ended just below your navel, showing a silver of skin.

“So y/n, what’s your work like?” Mitch asked you.

“I write mainly rock but I’m open to new suggestions.” You said. Sarah nodded as if to say ‘awesome.’

Your voice was firm and authoritative as you answered the question. Harry found himself completly entranced by this complexity of a person that stood in front of him. He figured it out the minute you walked into the room with your head held high that working with you wouldn’t be easy.

“Do you have any questions Harry?” Sarah asked him. Harry only nodded no.

“Great. Im going out for a smoke.” You said leaving the three of them alone again.

“She’s scary.” Harry said once the door shut. Sarah rolled her eyes in response. “She’s a no nonsense person Harry.”

“And scary.” He added again.

“I know you’re not used to people like her. Just because you’re both literal opposites doesn’t mean she’ll eat you alive.” Sarah snorted. “You like her, don’t you Mitch?” Sarah asked him. Mitch only swallowed and replied, “I like her better on stage.”

“Oh hush both of you. Give her time.”

——————————————

“It doesn’t sound good.” Harry huffed out impatiently, staring at the lyrics he scribbled. It had been more than a week since everyone started to work on his debut album.

Harry began to habour a certain disliking for you, owing to lack of your participation and one word answers. You would sit away from everyone, scribble in your diary and would rarely look up from its pages.

“You know what guys, let’s just take a breather yeah?” Jeff, Harry’s manager said getting up from his chair and stretching his legs.

“I’m going out for a walk.” Sarah said, pulling Mitch to his feet as well. Harry was about to get up as well but Sarah mouthed to him; ‘talk to her’ as she gestured towards you. Harry looked at her with wide eyes and was ready to protest but Sarah was quick on her feet.

“Y/n.” Harry called out your name. You looked up at him, the loose strands strands of your braid fell down framing your face. You raised your eyebrows as if to say ‘speak on.’

Harry cleared his throat. “What are you writing?”

“Nothing much. Just an idea.” You said. That was the most you had spoken.

Harry noticed that today, there was no eyeliner but smudged kohl lining your eyes. You opted for a plain white tank top and a pair of mini cargo shorts. A surprise for Harry who was much too used to seeing you in black.

“I think, everyone would appreciate it if you would participate more you know?” Harry said. You only nodded and went back to scribbling.

“See! This is what you do y/n. You don’t talk. You’re so busy doing God knows what. I get it, you know you’re talented but that doesn’t mean you’re better than us.” Harry exploded. You shut your dairy hard and stared at him with rage.

“It’s been almost two weeks since you joined us. Have you contributed in any way?” Harry added, his voice reaching a higher octave and getting louder by the second.

“First of all, I don’t think I’m fucking better than you and second of all, instead of blaming me why don’t you recognise the fact that you’re scared and absolutely clueless.” You spat at him.

“I’m not scared.” Harry said, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Yeah right.” You scoffed rolling your eyes. “You’re so scared that you’re putting the blame on me just because I’m the newbie. This solo carrier is new to you and that terrifies the shit out of you Harry. So much that you can’t even work. If I have to be the punching bag then I’m fucking leaving.” You stated grabbing your bag.

“You don’t know shit y/n.”

You didnt care about what Harry said next as you walked out of the room.

—————————————————

“Was it really necessary Harry?” Jeff said, rubbing his head with his hands. The stress of not having completed the album began to increase.

“I told you, ‘give her some time.’ Did you do that Harry? No. You just had to say something.” Sarah said, flinging her arms in the air.

“I mean, was Harry wrong though? Y/n was… just there you know. She didn’t talk, she didn’t help. Good riddance I say.” Mitch said.

The whole group was torn up over this. Harry began to feel guilt overpower him, but the rage he felt at your words was far too much for him to hone. He knew you were right and he hated you for that. He hated you for the fact that you were so good at reading him. Harry knew that you didn’t talk because you were shy but because you never found yourself as engaged as the others. You were aloof, and gave the impression that nothing bothered you at all.

“It’s been what; six days since she stormed off?” Jeff asked harry.

“Seven.”

“Jesus.”

Harry was certain that you overreacted to the situation. Granted, you didn’t want to be here and Harry left no stone unturned when it came to reminding you his dislike for you.

The door bell rang, Harry got up to look through the key hole. He felt the colour drain from his face. It was you. Standing in front of the door.

“It’s her.” Harry whispered with his eyes wide.

“You know I can hear you, ya dick. Open the door or I’m leaving.” You, irritation lacing your face.

You began to hate Harry or at least develop an aggressive aversion towards him as time passed. You hated how he seemed to have enough energy throughout the day to burst into a song. You hated that he was all smiles and giggles every second of the day. The only one thing you liked about him was how intimadated he was by you. But you knew that he could be much more terrifying than you when the time came.

“Pick your poison.” Mitch said.

Harry opened the door to meet your black smudged eyes. You push him as you enter the room and slam the diary on the centre table with a loud thud.

“Here you go. You said Im no help at all. Well I beg to differ. I’ve written three songs.” You said. Harry picked up the diary and flipped through the pages.

Kiwi

Medicine

Only angel

Strange names for such explicit songs.

Harry passed the diary to Sarah who looked at the songs with amazement.

“Harry we’ve got to add these.” Sarah said, excitement lacing her eyes.

“I don’t need anyone to plead my case. If he likes them, good enough.” You said, your voice unwavering as you looked at Harry who narrowed his eyes at you.

“I like them.”

—————————————

Within a week, all recordings were done and the album was ready to launch. Jeff suggested that the four of you should to go out, let off some steam because life would never be the same once the album got released.

Everyone was quite surprised when you suggested a place to party. You were quite intent on getting shit faced because the past month had been a whirlwind to say the least.

You wore a black mini dress, encased with sequins that was backless. Your eyes were lined with heavy kohl and mascara. Your whole face was bare other than your eyes.

“Johnnieeeee!” You exclaim to the large bouncer, a smile on your face as you high five him.

“Y/n been a long time. I see you’ve got friends.” He said, eyeing the people behind you.

Sarah felt that the club you brought them to too was far too dark and dingy for her liking. It was dark and the music was blaring. The club smelt of sex, drugs and alcohol. Your natural habitat. She held Mitchs hand in hers who was amused at her behaviour.

“I promise I’ll be good.” You say, looking up at him with doe eyes and a sly smile. John chuckled and let you in the club.

“We have go to do shots.” You exclaim to all three of them. Harry was surprised at your behaviour to say the least, he never would’ve pegged you as someone who even had the ability to smile let alone laugh.

“Nope. I’m driving.” Sarah said throwing her hands up in the air.

“Jeez such a buzzkill.” You said making Sarah roll her eyes. You stuck your tongue out at her as you made your way to the bar with Harry and Mitch.

“Don’t stop till your at least ten shots down.” You said with a cunning smile and excited eyes.

“Ten?!” Mitch exclaimed.

“Six.” Harry interjected.

“Deal.”

Harry learnt a great deal about that night. Especially the fact that you have a tendency to dance with almost anyone and everyone.

He saw you make your way to the dancefloor, not bothered about the fact that you had no one to dance with. You swayed your hips to the song, your arms moving and a bright smile etched on your face. You were surrounded by men and women. Harry saw you dance with a man whom you didn’t know, he wished you would be that carefree with him.

After an hour of drinking and talking, Harry found you dancing on the table with a few other people.

“Is this normal?” He asked Sarah who snickered in response. “Yep. She’s a fun drunk.”

You spot Harry and get down from the table, stumbling forward. The strap of your heel loosened and Harry quickly caught hold of you.

“Wait a second.” Harry said, as he kneeled down to fix your strap. Once he got up he saw your glassy eyes laiden with lust and simply smirked.

“You like watching me get down on my knees for you, huh?” Harry whispered in your ear, his grip harsh around your waist as he pulled you towards himself . You felt heat rise up your thighs and stomach.

“Isn’t that what men are good for anways?” You whispered, closing any gap you two had as you put one hand behind his neck, tugging him closer to you. “Don’t think this changes anything betwen us Styles. You’re still a nightmare.” You whispered to him in his ear slowly.

You stood so close to each other that you could feel each others heat radiate. Harry’s heart raced as his eyes met yours. You were cautious with your gaze, afraid that if you looked any longer in his eyes, he might spot the hunger in yours just as you might see his making you lose any self control you exercised.

“I have someone waiting for me.” You spoke, breaking the silence. Harry raised his eyebrows in amusement as his hands wandered down your waist to your lower back. He buried his face in the crook of your neck as he left a bite there. You let out a soft moan, turning into complete putty in his grip.

“I could fuck you much better y/n.” He said, his voice dangerously low.

“I don’t want to be fucked missionary style that’ll leave me unsatisfied.”

“Your moan said otherwise.”

Two can play this game.

You wiggled out of his grip, ignoring the throbbing between your legs as you sauntered towards the dance floor, blowing a kiss at Harry from a distance.

——————————————

“Hello?” Your groggy voice spoke into the microphone of your phone. Your head throbbing due to last night.

“Y/n. Where are you?” Jeff asked you.

“Home.”

“Come over to Harry’s. Got something to discuss.”

“I’ll be there in five.” You said before hanging up on the phone.

You washed your face, put on a large tee shirt and an oversized pair of sunglasses. You brushed your hair and slipped into your slippers. It was a ten minute drive to Harry’s house. The radio was silent. The windows were rolled down because you needed fresh air now more than ever.

You reached his flat and rang the doorbell.

“My my look who’s here.” Harry taunted as he opened the door to see you in an oversized tee shirt, legs bare and slippers. He couldn’t control all the thoughts that seemed to slip in and out his head as he saw your legs.

“Show me your eyes love.” Harry snickered knowing they must be bloodshot. You flipped him off and plopped down on the bean bag, groaning as you held your head.

“You seemed to have a lot of fun last night.” Mitch said, getting a stare from Sarah. “You should see the videos.” He added. Your head shot up at his words.

“Videos?”

“Yep. They’re too good.” He snickered. You removed your sunglasses and pounced at Harry who began to play videos of you dancing on table tops.

“Give. Me. The. Damn. Phone.” You said in between breathes as you attempted to strangle Harry. You were about to smack Harry but he picked you up by your waist, throwing you on his shoulder.

“Put me down.” You stated firmly.

“Only if you don’t strangle me.” Harry said chuckling at your sorry state.

“I don’t make promises Styles.”

“Too bad. I’ll post it if you continue to be a brat.” He said.

“Fine.”

Harry put you down, running a hand through your messy hair which you swatted off. He noticed how young you looked without lining your eyes, a different girl, perhaps even innocent. You looked like a doe. You looked beautiful.

“You’re drolling on the carpet Styles.” You said rolling your eyes at him.

“Am I supposed to deny that I find you attractive?” He questioned, his voice low and alluring. He spoke slow enough to make your thighs quiver. Your mind suddenly flashed you images of how his large hand felt against your waist last night.

“I’m too hungover for this.” The only defense left.

This was new to you. This feeling of loathing someone to no extent but also finding them undeniably attractive. Attractive enough to make your thoughts wander off to forbidden places and scenarios.

“What happened to your neck?” Sarah said, noticing the love bite that Harry left the other night. You rolled your head back as you rubbed your eyes with a yawn. Harry felt proud to say the least, he smirked and winked at you while you barely controlled the urge to smash his face in the table neck to him.

“Why am I even here?” You said groaning. “The work is done. The albums done. What do you possibly need for me now?” You added.

“Come to tour with us.” Jeff said, his manager persona now showing.

“What?”

“Yes.”

“It wasn’t in the contract Jeff.”

“Consider this, an impromptu decision.” He reasoned with you.

“I’ll do only concerts. No interviews. No playing for videos and no recordings.” You said.

“Deal.”

You huffed a breath as you reached for the glass of water next to you. “That’s mine!” Harry whined. You flipped him off as you wore your sunglasses and went to sleep.

“Oh y/n what’s your Instagram?” Jeff asked. You scoffed at his question, “don’t have one.” You simply said. “Well, Harry follows his band members so-”

“No.” and with that you went to sleep.

—————————————

The album was a success to say the least. Everyone seemed to recognise Harry as Harry styles and not as Harry from One Direction. It was bitter sweet to say the least. Harry was excited and enthralled to be able to embark a whole new journey.

The album release party was a success. But you weren’t there, Harry had called you not once but twice asking you why you weren’t there.

“Y/n, it’s already six, why aren’t you at the party?” Harry asked you on call.

“Because I didn’t plan on going.” A short answer. Your one word answers now began to become a bit longer but they annoyed Harry nonetheless.

“The whole band’s here.”

“I’m not part of your band Harry. I helped you write your songs.” You stated.

“But you’re going to tour with us.”

“That doesn’t mean anything.”

And now as Harry stood in front of the stage, waiting for the crowd to pour in, he wondered where you were. You had insisted on driving to the show venue on your own instead of travelling with the band. Harry tried to persuade you but you didn’t budge.

“Is she here?” Harry asked Jeff who only nodded no. Harry was getting worried now. He was supposed to get ready, but he was much to engaged in wondering about your whereabouts. It was his first show and your words about him being scared rang in his head.

“She’ll be here don’t worry.” Jeff said.

By the time Harry got ready, he spotted you, a cigarette in your mouth as you look towards the stage. You wore a latex, dark emerald coloured waistcoat that resembled a corset. It pushed your breasts together and ended just above the curve of your waist. You wore low waisted black bell bottoms. The waistcoat and the bell bottoms gave off the illusion of an hourglass figure. Your eyes were covered in your signature feline eyeliner, curving in the inner and outer corner of your eye.

“Y/n!” Harry called your name. You looked up at him, a lazy smile on your face as you disposed the cigarette.

“My my look at you styles. A fucking prince you are.” You said snickering. Harry stuck his tongue out at you. He wore a red blazer clad with black flowers and the same pattern was all over his trousers. His hair were unruly yet only added to his charm.

“Ya scared?” You asked him.

“No. I mean, I’m just…. excited yet scared you know?”

“Hmm.”

“You stick out like a sore thumb.” Harry said, his eyebrows raised at you as he scanned you up and down.

“Excuse me for not wanting to dress up as a fucking rainbow.” You said scowling at Harry who passed you a smile. “Y’know what would really go well with your top?” Harry said, his eyes twinkling. “What?”

“Wait.” Harry ran off of to his dressing room, fetching a silver cross necklace. The cross was heavy and large, engraved with swirls and very small rubies decorating it. Harry gestured you to turn around, his hands brushed against your skin as he snapped it’s lock in place. The cross rested against the curve of your breasts, demanding attention and praise. “How about a hickey to tie your look together?” Harry questioned.

“From you? Not even in your dreams Styles.” You said. Harry smirked at you and went towards the stage.

—————————————

Harry felt alive. He felt free and invincible on stage. But you, you were the personification of sex. The minute Kiwi began to play, the crowds focus shifted from Harry to you.

You whipped your hair back and forth, your back arching, a cigarette encased in your pink lips, sweat gleaming down the curves of your waist, breasts and arms. The crowd went absolutely wild as you winked at them. Harry’s photographer, Lloyd was entranced with you. He couldn’t help but photograph you. Your eyebrows were sinched together in focus, your eyes closed, your mouth slightly open and your body fully arched.

After the first concert, the fans and media were deep diving into who you were and tried to uncover your identity. As the tour progressed, the crowd began to make posters stating things like “we’re here for y/n!” “Give us y/n!”

There were pictures of you everywhere, playing the guitar as your face morphed into an expression which Harry called your “orgasm face.”

Harry was asked about you during interviews as well, the media was left questioning about your identity and they found themselves allured by a recent stunt you pulled at a concert.

You jumped off the stage during Medicine and went up to a man, roughly around your age if not older. The man lit the cigarette in your mouth with his lighter as you winked at him and murmured “thank you love.”

—————————————

The tour had finally ended. You were in your dressing room, your chest heaving up and down. The adrenaline after the show still lingering in your blood stream. You removed your top and were standing in your bra, the minute Harry barged in.

“Knock on my door ya’dick!” You said, crossing your arms over your chest which did nothing at all to ease Harry since your breasts were pushed up.

After months of sexual tension, Harry finally felt himself crack.

“Got to teach you some manners.” You murmured.

“Really?” He tutted, pulling you by the loop of your jeans.

You understood where this was heading. “Hmm.” You hummed, moving your hands slowly on the buttons of his shirt. Harry caught your wrist making you look up at him. He looked in your eyes, deep and seriously as if to contemplate his actions. You pulled him by his neck, close enough that your foreheads touched.

“M’gonna regret this.” He whispered. He didn’t give you a chance to respond as he connected his lips to yours, his tongue swirling in your mouth. His hands wandered down the curve of your spine and lingered there. You deepened the kiss, letting your hunger overpower you. He wasn’t close enough, you needed his skin next to yours, rubbing, you needed to feel him, you needed him.

There was a knock on the door, you immediately recoil away from Harry although his hands were still on your bare back. “Y/n, Vanessa’s here for you.” Laura, his assistant said.

Vanessa and you were supposed to head out to paris the next morning. Harry felt a hole cave in his chest, remembering about your departure.

“I’ll be there.” You said.

You kissed Harry, a sweet and soulful kiss. Not the one that was ruled with consumption and the urge to mark.

“You should stay.” Harry whispered, holding you.

“I never stay anywhere for too long.”

Harry looked at you, his eyes staring into yours as you squeezed his hand. “Who’re you gonna strangle now?” You laughed remembering all the times you tried to strangle and choke him, resting your head on his chest.

“I’ve got to go.” You said, slipping out of his grip, slipping on a tee shirt as you picked up your stuff.

Harry looked at you with a look of longing. How stupid. How cruel. How unfair. He thought to himself as he saw you leave.

“When will I see you again?” He asked you.

“When it’s the right time.” You said, kissing his cheek.

——————————————

Authors note; how are we feeling about a part two? let me know in the comments section <3

#harry's house album #harry styles x reader #harry x y/n #harry imagine #harry fanfic #harry styles blog #harry styles blurb #harry styles smut #famous!harry #enemies to lovers #harry styles #one direction #harry one direction #harry one shot

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andy-wm · 8 months

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Jungkook's GOLDEN moment

Or, the media journey of our Golden Boy's debut album, and what it all means.

This post grew out of a question that popped into my head a couple of days ago.... "what are we really getting on 3 November?"

Sometimes ADHD is a blessing. Other times it's a curse. It all depends on your perspective.

I was going to write a few words - just share an idea - but part of my day job is getting the facts right (and doing the research and validating information) so what started as a quick idea has grown into a long, long story.

As I said, ADHD can be a blessing. I may have resorted to cutting my own hair yesterday because I keep forgetting to make an appointment with the barber, but I can go without food or sleep if something sparks my curiosity. And this has. And the good news is, I'm sharing all that with whoever wants to read it. The other good news is that fortunately, hair grows back.

So I suggest you either grab a snack and get comfortable, or skip to the end to read my conclusion. Because in Tumblr, as in life, my ability to talk nonstop for hours about random shite is unmatched.

Where did all this begin?

When did we first hear about Jungkook's debut solo album? I believe the original announcement came from the annual forecast/investment report documents, which I found out about via tw in May this year.

Jungkook's album was officially forecast for release in the fourth quarter according to the HYBE and Hanwha Investment report.

We were all thrilled and excited! I certainly was.

JK's voice is the aural equivalent of an ice cream sundae - refreshingly cool and softly warm, and multi-layered with all the fancy toppings. He can do pop-sugar sprinkles, he can do fancy slivered almonds, he can do spicy peaches in brandy, lit on fire.

His voice flows into your ears, sweet and hot, just like him.

It was good news but not surprising. Because by the time that report came out we had already had albums (or news of albums) from Hobi, Namjoon, Jiminie and Yoongles. We had figured out they were all going release something. It would have been odd if Jungkook DIDN'T join his bandmates in this. ARMY knows he's a prolific and talented songwriter from way back. He's been writing and producing songs for BTS's albums from as far back as 2015. With instant ARMY favourites like Still With You, Decalcomania, and Your Eyes Tell to his name, Jungkook's album was an exciting prospect.

In June and July, rumours about the album surfaced:

On 4 June, Korean news website Sports Chosun, released an article about Jungkook's debut album - claiming the release date as 14 July. The article toted an English song on the album as 'a huge hit'.

BigHit responded, slapping the news website on the wrist and stating that THEY would make announcement when the release date was confirmed.

ARMYs and everyone else lit up the ether with chatter about the announcement, but where many news sites were simply regurgitating the Sports Chosun article, we were wondering where they got that information, and why they were talking about this English song being a hit as though that would be something new for a BTS song.

Um... do you know BTS?

Fast forward to 14th July... and the release of SEVEN (ft Letto).

A single, not an album, but it was HUGE.

Most ARMYs loved it but some were shocked... at the revelation that their darling Jungkookie is in fact a horny young man who enjoys pleasures of the flesh. And thank god he does, honestly, because the thought of his youth and beauty being wasted on abstinence is devastating to me. He works too hard not to enjoy a good fuck - hopefully seven days a week.

We all know the explicit version had a few people clutching their pearls and petticoats, but on the whole the reception was good. SEVEN (ft Letto!) sailed majestically to the top of the charts all across the globe and settled in alongside Like Crazy as a long term resident on the Billboard Hot 100.

Jungkook travelled abroad for the promos (with Jimin) and sang his song everywhere from New York to London.

But he also visited us, often.

He made time to chat for hours with ARMY, telling us how much we mean to him, and how he has decided to trust himself, and how he hopes WE would trust him too. He told us over and over that he has decided to do what he wants. That this is what he wants. That he hopes we love it.

It was clear he was having a lot of fun with SEVEN.

The MV, and the making of the MV, were a hit in themselves, and we got to see JK's acting chops (clearly SO MUCH better than Yoongi's he told us).

And then came more news about the album...

It wasn't long after that, only three days in fact, before another article about his upcoming album surfaced. This time it was on the (apparently very factually reliable) music news site, Hits Daily Double.

The article sat strangely askew for many ARMYs. For OT7 fans of BTS it felt more than a little off.

From the opening sentence...

Jung Kook's "Seven" f/Latto (HYBE/Geffen) set records in its first 24 hours on Spotify.

...to the brazenly competitive comparisons with BTS and the other members achievements, the tone of the article was smug and divisive and frankly not very Bangtan.

For a short puff piece, it managed to put a good half of the fandom's nose out of joint. I have no doubt that was the intention, that it aimed to sow dissent and push JK ahead of his members in ARMY's - and the world's - eyes. We weren't mad at JK - far from it - we could see right through the writer's intent. And we knew who was behind it...

Enter stage left: The Villain, Scrotum Balls

"HYBE Chairman Bang Si-Hyuk's trust in HYBE America CEO Scooter Braun is continuing to pay off. Braun found the song and connected Jung Kook with the Grammy-winning Producer of the Year he reps, Andrew Watt."

Did SB write this bollocks himself?? What a twat, seriously.

But wait, there's more...

"Those involved with Jung Kook's forthcoming debut album, which will be an all-English effort, are very bullish on the project and see it as a pivotal moment in the BTS solo campaign. Jung Kook's embrace of sexuality and profanity is giving new life to BTS fans..."

This is where it all starts going a little pear shaped. I can almost see the smile melting off Jungkook's face as he read this article.

Not a word about the themes this album would explore, or the music itself, or even a word from the artist. Just SB crowing about the 'project' that those involved were so bullish about.

In other articles on this site from the same time, Jungkook is referred to as an alumnus of BTS, and the erstwhile bandmate of V. Both of these terms insinuate that he has left BTS, which is very misleading.

At that point, some of us were very worried. It was starting to look like Jungkook himself was the project - a little project for SB to use as a self promotion tool. The sacrificial lamb he was going to offer to the gods of commercial radio and the plastic world of pop stardom to redeem himself for the absolute fucking mess he made when he tied up his label's artists with red tape and held them hostage.

Did anyone watch the movie TAR?

Spoiler alert, but the main character Lydia's attempts to regain her influence after she destroyed her own empire, are not dissimilar to SB's. The only way she could rise from the ashes after figuratively burning her house to the ground, was to reinvent herself in a new environment. She started over, with her trademark ego-driven confidence not dented in the least, believing herself the ultimate maestro as she took on a new project to mould into her image of success.

The parallels are uncanny.

Moving on...

Suchwita with Jungkook was revealing, in that it revealed nothing...

Specifically the nothing that had happened with the mini album!

Jungkook said he hadn't started working on the album, he was still searching single #2. He said after the second single he would release a mini album in November.

"Are the songs for the album ready?" Yoongi asked.

"No" replied Jungkook, "I have to start working on them now."

At the time Suchwita was filmed, Jungkook had yet to start working on the songs for the mini album he was due to release in November.

In a previous Weverse live he also said he hadn't started working yet. He had no songs. The extended break was so good that he would have been happy to keep resting, until SEVEN came along.

Confirmed in the AUDACY interview in NY:

In his interview with Audacy (recorded around 14 July in NY) Jungkook's message was consistent with what he said to Yoongi.

There were 'no specifics set yet' when asked about an upcoming album... certainly no mention of ALL ENGLISH SONGS.

When asked "How do you want to make your solo work special and unique to you?" Jungkook responded that he didn't want to chase anything. That he 'wants everything to become special naturally, because he does his best.' He says SEVEN wasn't released because he had specific plans, it just happened. He wants the next song to come along naturally too.

That's a very different message from the brash, aggressively confident stance taken in the Hits Daily Double article - I think we we can safely assume they were SB's words - and it's also not shining a light on SB as the hero of the moment the way the article tried to do.

Jungkook had either not been briefed on SB's vision for the album, or he wasn't on board with it. Either way, the album was not mentioned again until early October.

Let's return to Suchwita and to Tae's interview.

*this is focused on the conversation about JK's album, no disrespect to our smooth operator.

"This album is the last solo album," says Yoongi.

When I watched this episode I first thought Yoongi was talking about the order that the Suchwita episodes were filmed, when he said Tae's album was the last. He clarified in the next sentence that he was talking about the release date.

"You're the last one," says Yoongi.

<<Wait... so what happened to JK's album?>>

"That's right. I feel so much pressure," continues Tae.

"Everyone was like, I don't want to be last," laughs Yoongi.

What Tae says next is pivotal:

"But if I didn't like it, I wouldn't have released it. I would have said I'm sorry, but I can't."

Oh really?

So THAT'S AN OPTION? He could say "No, I don't like it so I'm not releasing it."?!

They go on to talk about promotions for all the members and how they differed, as though everyone else has done all the promotions they have lined up, but all I can think about is...

Did Jungkook say NO to SB?

Maybe he hadn't agreed to anything when that Hits Daily Double article was published. Maybe SB shot his mouth off before JK had even listened to the songs he was proposing. Jungkook told us he's doing what he wants to do.

Maybe Jungkook didn't like the songs, or the direction the album was taking. Our Jungkook can be stubborn and he knows his worth. Maybe he said he didn't want to be SB's little project?

That would explain why we heard nothing else about his *All English*mini album. Between July and the announcement of the release date in early October, there wasn't even a whisper.

On 3 October, Hits Double Daily released a second article:

The tone of this release couldn't be more different from the first article.

No mention of SB

No mention of ALL ENGLISH

Jungkook is suddenly back in the BigHit stable, whereas before he was being associated with Hybe/Geffen

The source is clearly stated as BH

The forceful language of the first article is notably absent. This piece is purely factual, short and to the point.

Tags for this article are: JungKook, BTS, GOLDEN, BIGHIT. Compared to the first article which was additionally tagged with HYBE, Geffen, Scooter Braun, Bang Si-Hyuk, Andrew Watt.

This sentence: Jung is known as the “golden maknae” (“golden youngest”) of BTS. Suddenly Jungkook is back in BTS (as opposed to an alumnus of BTS). His status as the maknae also firmly grounds him in his Korean roots, a fact which was hardly mentioned in other articles. (and they got his name wrong ffs...)

There's also the MAJOR fact that unlike SEVEN, Jungkook is performing the debut of this album in Korea, not in the USA. That also says to me that SB is not involved (or less involved).

Other evidence of Jungkook's autonomy in this, is his unexpected performance of Still With You at the GCL concert. You could tell he was nervous, he lost his performance presence a little - standing awkwardly with his hand on his hip - and I think it was because there was something more at stake with that performance. All my fingers and toes are crossed for it's inclusion on the album.

Where does that leave us with GOLDEN?

My conclusion is that there has been some level of disagreement between SB and Jungkook about the album. And that Jungkook has stood his creative ground (YES!) and put some distance between himself and SB.

I fervently hope this is true.

Remember that Yoongi said Jungkook is the most talented musician he's ever met.

Yoongi, who I would trust with my soul even if he had horns and called himself the prince of darkness.

well that picture's kinda hot!

...

(I lost my train of thought thinking about Yoongi with horns)

Yes, Yoongi said that.

Yoongi who works with dozens and dozens of musicians including 6 of the most successful artists in the world...oh, and PSY.

The suggestion in the first article - that Jungkook's debut album was being designed with strategic market-oriented goals in mind - was so disturbing, when we know what a brilliant artist he is.

Sure it would be advantageous if Jungkook could access the networks and opportunities that come with an association with SB.

But if having an introduction to SB's circle means he's handcuffed to the strategic vision of a person who sees music as a corporate commodity, and Jungkook as a project, I truly hope he said 'I'll pass thanks.'

And let's not forget the album went from being a mini album (2-6 songs) to ELEVEN songs. In my minds eye I see Jungkook saying 'you think I can't come up with a whole album in two months? Hold my beer.'

Jungkook doesn't need SB to be successful...

He is after all...

THE GOLDEN MAKNAE

Here are the sources, if you want to see where this info came from...

youtube

#jeon jungguk #jungkook #min yoongi #jungkook seven #park jimin #bts jungkook #jungkook golden #bighit #bts #taehyung #suchwita #Youtube

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ninja-knox-ur-sox-off · 24 days

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Sorry for the random asks, I just get random thoughts.

If the Wobbly Hearts AU Ninja were in a band AU who would be doing/playing what?

-froginninjago

bro ur asks are fun so this works out HGLKSJDF

Okay, i had to think a bit hard on this one but here we go

Jay - Lead Guitar: Bro has some wild speed which would be dope for shredding amazing for finger picking, this, ofc, is in reference to his elemental power of lightning. I'd think he can play several different types of guitars ranging from a standard electric to the banjo. He also likes to be front and centre a lot of the time and absolutely thrives off of attention so guitar solos would really give him a chance to shine. I imagine he'd play with a speed similar to this guy though likely not with that type of guitar

Kai - Bass guitar/backup vocalist: I'd actually give Kai the bass cause it's criminally underrated (like kai in the show it feels like sometimes) and it kinda lends itself to the fact his character ends up being more of a supporting role (specifically to Lloyd in the show) in the background rather than the main protagonist. He's extremely skilled in a way that not a lot of people notice, an avid bass defender and hype man and only slightly annoyed that Jay has more fans than him. He likely posts lots of bass shredding vids online

Cole - Drums: I mean come on you had to have seen this coming. I know it almost feels basic to put him but it fits so WELL. He's the one who keeps the team on track in the show and on beat in the band. He's so steady and consistent that it kinda blends together and you forget he's there sometimes. He's the one band member who can go out in public and not a single person will recognize him and he's cool with that. He has an amazing voice and could easily be a lead singer but he's content where he is. He's wildly skilled on the drums and I imagine people would start taking notice in him when he has like a drum solo that happens and its kinda like how Jay is crazy on the guitar he'd be outrageous like this dude

Lloyd - Lead Vocals/drums: Lloyd's currently learning drums from Cole and he's having a lot of fun with them. (a nod to my hc of Cole teaching Lloyd how to lead in the show.) He has the best voice out of the group with an INSANE range in his vocals. He can go from more like straight up angelic sounding to like hardcore screaming and so he's pretty versatile. (A nod to his oni/dragon sides.) He doesn't enjoy singing as much as he does drumming but he's good at it so he doesn't mind being the lead. Though he's not a huge fan of his fans. They're a little crazy. If you want to see him smile ask him to play the drums for you, he gets really winded and is always grinning with his hair a complete mess afterwards. He gets a lot of dopamine from da drums. He also enjoys helping Nya out with writing their lyrics

Nya - Stage Manager(previous)/Backup Guitarist/Second Lead Vocal/Songwriter: Nya is pretty versatile in what she can do. She knows the basics of base, is a pretty solid contender for lead guitar, she's also learning drums from Cole alongside Lloyd. She used to handle the behind the scenes stuff at some point before she actually joined the band. Her ability to both carve out her own place and easily fill in for the other's if they need to tap out lends itself to her element power of water something something. I kinda think of Walk Off the Earth with their two lead vocalists and how their voices blend together really well and the harmonies are really nice for how Nya and Lloyd would sound together. She also has a huge hand in writing the bands songs obviously. Kai did a lot of the lyrics for a while but he's not the most creative person. The whole band kinda has a hand in writing and its a group effort but Nya's usually the one leading it

Pixal - Stage Manager (current): I'm thinking Pixal used to be like, a solo act for a while or something? I dunno I actually couldn't get many ideas for her. But a soloist songwriter and maybe singer and she eventually retired from that and runs things behind the scenes for the band, booking stuff, getting transport, she's great at her job and the whole band loves and appreciates her, Kai regularly dramatically falls across her lap to ask "What would we do without you?" when she hands him a juice box after a set. She also handles the technology (with some assistance from Nya and sometimes Zane) and any more digital sounds they want added to their music

Zane - oh screw it, it's gotta be violin doesn't it??: come on just listen to his Falcon Chase song what else would he play??? All his songs in this show are literally strings!!! Cello, viola, violin, fiddle. i imagine he's classically trained in a lot of the bow + stringed instruments. I'm thinking Lindsey Stirling type playing probably or something. It lends itself to his controlled but emotional?? way of dealing with stuff? You can get a wide range of emotion from these types of instruments and he knows how to pull at your heartstrings (get it cause strings instrument--[gets hit with a chair])

Am i well versed enough in music to know if all these instruments would work well together? No, no i am not. But the concepts are cool and I guess i can be a lil silly goofy with it

#asks #knox rambles #froginninjago #LEGO Ninjago Wobbly Hearts AU #LEGO Ninjago #Ninjago #ngl this would be a really fun AU on its own #i dunno if you were expecting a response this long i certainly wasn't what a fun thing #wowee anyway wooo i looked up and like an hour has passed whoops #i thought about this for far too long #you can tell i kinda ran out of steam at Zane a bit i'm more rambly #WELP OKAY TIME TO POST AND YUP OKAY

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for-yoongi0309 · 1 year

Text

SUGA IS A VOICE OF AUTHENTICITY IN A SUPERFICIAL WORLD

VOGUE JAPAN’s first ever solo male cover star SUGA opens up about mindfulness, procrastination, and how his relationship with music has changed.

For VOGUE JAPAN’s August issue, our theme is “INNER BEAUTY”; in other words, searching beyond the surface to see what really drives our dreams and desires. What better icon to represent this than SUGA? By navigating an industry obsessed with the superficial, the megastar is a voice of depth and authenticity, fearlessly candid about the internal struggles he’s faced, and the expectations he carries as one of Asia’s most successful artists. SUGA is also the first man to appear solo on the cover of VOGUE JAPAN in its 24 year history. Wearing Valentino’s Fall/Winter 2023 Black Tie collection, the South Korean artist is a celebration of a world where the connections between gender, fashion, and music are increasingly intertwined.

When it comes to music, SUGA is a true multi-hyphenate. A member of BTS, a rapper, a songwriter, and a producer for various global artists, he also performs solo under the stage name Agust D. His solo moniker is derived from SUGA spelled backwards, with the D referring to Daegu Town, a city in South Korea where he grew up.

In a Q&A with VOGUE JAPAN, before his Japan tour which was held on the 2nd-4th June, we asked SUGA about his first solo world tour, his solo album ‘D-DAY’, and what he does to stay motivated when it all feels like too much. He also opened up about how his approach to making music has changed over the years, offering his answer on a personal handwritten note. It reads: “At first I thought it was fate. Then, when I was writing songs and working, I thought of it as a kind of frenemy. Now I’ve come to think of writing music as family – something that I will spend eternity with.”

The culmination of a trilogy – The latest album D-DAY

Q: What’s the meaning behind the album ‘D-DAY’?

Solo Album ‘D-DAY’ completes the Agust D trilogy (the Agust D mixtape from 2016, and the D-2 mixtape from 2020). It’s like the second chapter of my story as Min Yunki.

Q: The title track "Haegeum" is about liberation. What does liberation mean to you?

I think I have experienced, seen, and heard a lot [in my life]. Just as essential as relaxing, I think the most important thing in life is to liberate your mind so that it’s free of negative emotions. I felt that way especially while working on this album.

Q: You featured RM on the last album "D-2" and this time you’re featuring J-HOPE. How did the collaboration come about behind the scenes?

We needed a rapper to feature on this album as well, so we looked for the most trustworthy rapper we could find. I’ve been working with J-HOPE on making music for over 10 years, and so we decided to entrust it to him

Q: You also collaborated with Ryuichi Sakamoto and met him when you visited Japan.

He had been doing music for such a long time, and was someone I hugely admired and looked up to, so it was an honor just to meet him. He gave me a lot of advice as a mentor, and the conversations we had together were a great help in finishing the album

Q: You experimented with drill music on D-DAY. Are there any particular sounds you would like to take on in the future?

As people involved in pop music, I think it’s our job to challenge ourselves to seek out the trendiest music and sound of the moment.

Q: I heard that you were stuck working on D-DAY in Seoul, so you went to Dangjin City by yourself and spent some time up in the mountains. How did that help?

When I’m in Seoul there are so many things to do, and so when I get stuck working on a song I tend to procrastinate and beat myself up about it. But when I go somewhere else, there’s nothing to do except working on the music, and I can start to feel the passion again.

Q: In the documentary film SUGA: Road to D-DAY, you visited musicians such as Steve Aoki, Halsey, and Anderson Paak. What did you learn from these experiences?

It's interesting to talk about music with other people who are involved in it too. More so than realizing and learning something, it’s really just about talking and having a good time together.

Q: You mentioned in the documentary that you wrote the song ‘Snooze’ for this album while you were in the hospital. What motivates you to continue writing songs to cheer people up, even when you were in a situation that you couldn’t even eat?

Of course, it’s important to take a break when times are tough. But I just did what I had to do, thinking that it would be a waste to take a break, because I knew I would recover eventually. I think anyone else would do the same if they were in a similar situation.

Q: In the FAQ for the BTS anthology album "Proof," you mentioned feeling inferior as the most important emotion. Have your feelings changed now that you have completed this album, which marks the end of your career as Agust D?

I feel that I have grown even more through the Agust D Trilogy, and I think I have overcome my complexes and traumas through making this album. Now, I’m feeling relaxed after my first show, and enjoying the tour without worrying too much.

Long-awaited first solo world tour – The message behind the music

Q: In the past, you have worked on songs during your world tours. Are there any new songs that have been created?

I wouldn’t say I write more songs during any specific time. I’m always writing songs.

Q: The documentary SUGA: Road to D-DAY showed you when you were in a slump, saying that you had no message to convey with the album. Did you come up with a message as you went around the country on tour?

When working on the production [of an album], I always worry about what kind of story I’m telling and what kind of messages to include and so when have a story I want to tell, I immediately start working on it. While working on this album, the words I wanted to convey started to come to me, and I’m sure they’ll keep coming.

Q: What are you looking forward to seeing in Japan?

Our last tour in Japan was in 2019. I wanted to perform there after that too, but it wasn't possible, so this will be the first time for a while. I hope that everyone who has been waiting for me there will be able to enjoy the show to its fullest.

Music and career – Relationship with the members

Q: It has been about 20 years since you began your career and started writing rap songs. How has your relationship with the music changed over that time?

At first I thought it was fate [for me to make music]. Then, when I was writing songs and working, I thought of it as a kind of frenemy. Now I’ve come to think of writing music as family – something that I will spend eternity with.

Q: Is there a moment in your career that was a turning point?

The biggest turning point for me was my first visit to the Billboard Awards in 2017

Q: This June marks a full 10 years since your debut as BTS. What feeling defines that decade for you?

Gratitude. I have been working as an artist and making music since before my debut, but back then I was one of those nameless artists who made music that no one would listen to. Now, I’ve been able to meet my fans and see many people that listen to my music. I am always grateful for that.

Q: What are your fondest memories of the past 10 years? What were the most enjoyable moments?

I have a lot of good memories of touring with the BTS members. The most enjoyable moments are when we’re all on stage.

Q: You often say that you “imagine a future where the seven members of BTS will be together forever”.

We really believe that the seven of us in BTS will always be together, and I believe there are clear things we can do in each of our respective areas. Each one of us has their own unique sphere, and there’s a mutual respect there. I think having that respect is the most important thing.

Q: In an interview with GQ KOREA two years ago, you said, “I have no dreams now, but that makes it easier.” Then, in the documentary, you said, “There is nothing I want to do”. You also said that you want to cherish the present. What is your next “dream”?

Apart from the seven of us making music together and being on stage for a long time to come, I think I have fulfilled almost all of my dreams.

Q: What is something you would like to tell your juniors, or the people that look up to you?

Everything will be fine. There will be times when you feel at your worst. I’ve had that kind of time too. But when you look back at it, it becomes a memory, and you can learn from it. It’ll be okay in the end.

The inseparable mind and body – Dealing with internal struggles

Q: How did you arrive at the idea that regret is in the past, anxiety is in the future, and to focus on the here and now? Do you practice mindfulness?

From a very young age, I was anxious about both the past and the future. I was worried and concerned even though I had no control over it. At one point I felt that it would be easier if I just got rid of those feelings, so I did a lot of things, like meditating and studying.

Q: We live in a world that places a lot of importance on remaining authentic. What kind of person do you think is an authentic person?

A natural person. Someone who doesn't struggle to do everything well, who doesn't hide the things they can’t do, and who shows their true self to the world.

Q: How do you feel about your own mind/body connection?

When my mental condition is not so good or when I’m worried about something, my body reacts to it immediately, even if I’m physically fine. On the other hand, if I’m not in a good physical condition, it also affects my mental health. So I think it’s important to maintain a balance between mental and physical health.

Off-stage SUGA – The real Min Yunki

Q: If you were to describe your personality in three words, what would they be?

Hmmm... that's difficult. 1, hard to figure out. 2, calm. 3, an observer.

Q: In the SUGA: Road to D-Day documentary, you visited friends all over the world. In ‘Dear My Friends’ from the last D-2 record, you sang about friendships that have changed. How have your friendships changed this time around?

All of my close friends now are people who doesn’t force others to be or to do something they don’t wish to. I think that kind of relationship is the ideal.

Q: What kind of people do you find attractive?

People who are spontaneous and positive.

Q: How would you describe your style?

Relaxed.

Q: You have such clear skin – what’s your beauty routine?

I don't have a routine. I simply apply lotion and that’s it.

Q: Finally, what does ARMY [BTS’s fandom name] mean to you?

I enjoy making music and performing on stage, but I’m only able to do that because of my fans. There is no point in standing alone on a big stage. Half of everything I’m able to do is possible because of ARMY.

Styling: Youngjin Kim, Bongkyu Kim

Clothes + accessories: VALENTINO

Hair: Sohee Han　

Makeup: Dareum Kim　

Set Design: Takashi Imayosh

Coordination: Ayumi Shinnai, Hyeonjeong Kyung　

Art Direction: Tomoyuki Yonezu

#ultkpopnetwork #mgroupsedit #idolsincedits #maleidolsedit #yoongi #suga #min yoongi #bangtan #bts #i. interviews #mg.vogue jpn'23

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mycurrent-hyperfixation · 2 years

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Take A Chance On Me - Chapter Ten (Eddie Munson x Reader Series)

Series Summary: Corroded Coffin is lacking only one thing that could help them win the upcoming Battle of the Bands; original songs. So when a new band comes to town with a lead singer that looks all too familiar and a repertoire of original songs up their sleeves, Dustin concocts a plan that will get you to spill all of your songwriting secrets to Eddie. It’s just a few dates, right?

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Masterlist

Word Count: 7.5K

Pairings: Eddie Munson x Reader, Eddie Munson x fem!Reader

Tags: fluff, 10 Things I Hate About You AU

A/N: Welcome back everyone to this weeks chapter. We're barrelling towards the end of this fic here so I just want to say a big thank you to all of you who stick around every week and leave your wonderful comments. At the rate I'm going I reckon there'll be 13 chapters in total but maybe I might add a little epilogue thing if you guys wanted. I do love a good epilogue. On a serious note, what do you guys honestly think of my writing? I'm always looking to improve so if you have any notes on my writing style that you think I could work on could you please comment them? I think a big flaw of mine is that my pacing is slow. What do you guys think? As always, I love you all 🥰

The semi-finals of Fort Wayne’s Battle of the Bands saw the competition’s only female contestants advancing to the finals along with Corroded Coffin. Last week’s round saw outstanding performances from both bands with Corroded Coffin’s original song ‘Nicotine’ opening the show and certainly setting a high standard to compete with. This was followed up strongly with original song ‘Songs I Can’t Listen To’ by the girl group whose electrifying guitar solo and captivating lyrics secured them a spot in the competition’s final round.

Both original songs shared a similar theme of heartbreak and failed relationships with Corroded Coffin’s lead singer Eddie Munson dedicating the song to a mysterious lost love. With both bands hailing from the small town of Hawkins, Indiana, and with girl group’s lead singer Y/N L/N performing with Munson’s signature guitar this week, audiences were left wondering whether these contestants might have a deeper connection than initially thought.

Hiding from Eddie Munson was much harder than one might expect.

You thought that your abrupt exit from the carpark at the competition would have been enough to convey the message that you did not want to see him. At the very least, your friends’ reiterations of the sentiments should have delivered the message clearly enough. And yet as much as you hated the sight of him, as much as you dreaded the sound of his voice or the smell of his cheap cologne that seemed to haunt you wherever you went, you had to admit that the boy was remarkably persistent.

The first time he had tried to talk to you since the last round of the competition you had been working. You hadn’t even seen him, too busy with whatever task you had been preoccupied with when Meg had quite unceremoniously pushed you into the storeroom without so much as a warning. It had been his voice that had alerted you to his presence, soft and tentative and altogether quite hesitant as he had approached Meg by the counter, not an easy feat considering the death glare she was undoubtedly sporting.

“Is she here?” you had heard him say, and even just the one statement had had your heart yearning to see him again. But you stayed where you were, not daring to even move as your ear remained firmly pressed up against the wood of the door.

“Even if she were, I wouldn’t tell you,” Meg had responded venomously.

He had not prompted further. Instead, with a defeated sigh, his footsteps had begun retreating until the bell had chimed above the door upon his exit.

Several days and several successfully dodged encounters with Eddie Munson later, you entered Family Video with a sigh, a copy of The Breakfast Club tucked under your arm.

“You know I can’t keep waiving these late fees every time you feel like rewatching a film eighteen times,” Steve called out to you.

“Well then what’s the point of having friends who work at a video store?” you said back, offering him a small smile. You handed him the tape as Robin emerged from the backroom, and upon seeing you, she skipped the distance over to the counter and leaned down upon it.

“Really, Y/N? The Breakfast Club again?” Robin said with a groan.

“I’m returning it, thank you very much.”

“Sure,” Robin said with a wide roll of her eyes. “Did you see the article?”

You groaned, bringing your head down to bang it lightly upon the desk.

“Yes. And now the whole of Indiana knows about my dating history.”

“No offence, Y/N,” Steve said. “But I can guarantee you that the whole of Indiana does not read a magazine article about a Battle of the Bands competition in Fort Wayne.”

“Let a girl dream, Steve,” you said, your voice slightly muffled from where your face was pressed up against the counter.

“How’s the song writing going?” Robin said.

You unfolded yourself back to your natural height, your energy suddenly renewed at the change in topic.

“I think I’ve finally managed to fit something into that cool chord progression you had last week at practice. But I was thinking-”

“I love when you do that,” Robin interjected. You leaned over the counter and punched her lightly in the arm.

“Do you remember the song Ed-” you hesitated, “that Corroded Coffin played at the second round?”

“How could I forget? I think they burst my eardrums with how loud it was.”

“That’s what I mean! It was loud because the crowd joined in.” You leaned further across the counter. “We’ve been pretty neck and neck with them throughout the whole comp but in that round they scored higher than they normally did, because…”

“Because…” Robin tried, although it was clear that she was confused.

“Audience participation!”

Robin looked no less confused, and now even Steve was furrowing his brows. You groaned and brought your hands up to rub at your face.

“There are eight categories that our songs are judged by and the last one is audience reception. When Corroded Coffin played that round they only beat us because they got full marks for that category.”

“That’s only because the crowd sung along,” Robin offered.

“Exactly! In a competition like this you need original songs to win, but the problem is the audience won’t know the lyrics to any of our songs because they’ve never heard them before. They sung along to that song because the repetition of the ‘na na na’s was easy for them to learn.”

Robin only furrowed her brows once more.

“Soooo…we need to have basic lyrics?”

“Well, I was thinking we could-”

“Shit,” Steve breathed, cutting you off.

“What?” Robin said, turning her gaze to Steve and then turning instead to follow where he was staring. “Shit,” she repeated.

You turned around, following Steve and Robin’s gaze across the store and out of the front window where a very large and very black van was pulling into the parking lot, loud music spilling from its open windows.

“Shit,” you groaned.

The panic that ensued was almost comical.

“Get her out the back!” Robin said.

“We can’t, Keith’s out the back!” Steve responded.

“Y/N’s hot, he won’t care!”

“Y/N,” Steve turned his attention to you. “How do you feel about having to hide out the back whilst Keith tries to flirt with you?”

“Repulsed,” you said immediately.

“See, Robin? It’s a lose-lose situation here.”

You turned back around to look out of the window, the sight of Eddie Munson jumping from his van causing a range of emotions to rush through you. He plucked the cigarette from between his lips, dropping it onto the floor and extinguishing it with the point of his shoe. It was strange, seeing him again after having successfully avoided him for over a week, for as you looked upon him you felt that same searing hot anger that had boiled up inside you as you had yelled at Eddie across that carpark. It made a part of you want to storm right out to him and slap him all over again just as you had done at the Hideout. But then there were those final words that he had yelled out to you replaying relentlessly in your mind now. The sheen that had been behind his eyes, the passion in his words, the crack in his voice. It all came rushing back so that now there was also something else lingering in the depths of your heart; something that yearned to walk up to him and run your hand along the length of his jaw, to feel his breath upon your skin.

He looked tired, you realised, his hair flat and tangled, his eyes weary and rimmed with dark circles. In truth, he looked like he hadn’t slept in days, and the thought made you want to stay where you were, to face him once and for all, to give him the chance to say whatever it was he had been trying to say for the past week as you had continued to avoid him.

But then, as his figure drew closer, you altogether realised that no, you could not do this. For your heart had begun to race and your breathing had begun to quicken, and you weren’t altogether too sure whether that was because you wanted to see him or you didn’t. So you stuck with the latter, whipping back around to find Steve and Robin still bickering.

“Maybe she can hide in the adult section, surely he won’t go in there,” Robin said.

“I wouldn’t be so certain,” Steve replied.

“Just shove over and let me duck behind the counter,” you called, not waiting for them to respond as you jumped up and over the bench. Now on the other side, you took one last look at the carpark, one last look at Eddie who had paused just before the door, his attention caught by something. You followed his gaze.

“Shit,” you, Steve and Robin all said in unison, watching on as Eddie stared quite obviously at your car parked right outside.

You ducked down just as Eddie opened the door, trying to still your racing heart and ragged breathing as Steve and Robin quite unsubtly scrambled to lean over you. You were expecting Eddie to make his way over to the counter, to ask about your whereabouts like he had done at the record store only a few days before. But as you listened intently to the sound of his muffled footsteps on the carpet, you realised that he instead appeared to be...browsing.

“What is he doing?” Robin whispered. 

“Do you want me to get him to leave?” Steve whispered down to you.

You thought about the proposition.

“No. If he’s just looking, leave him be,” you whispered back.

But whatever it was that Eddie had been looking for, it clearly did not take him long to find it, for it was only moments later that his footsteps were nearing the counter.

“You look like shit,” Steve grumbled as he took the tape that Eddie passed him.

“Why thank you, Harrington,” Eddie quipped back with a little less enthusiasm than his voice normally possessed. You expected him to reply with something else sarcastic, maybe a backhanded compliment directed at Steve. But instead he remained silent.

“You’re borrowing this again?” Robin said. “Didn’t you just take it out?”

“It’s a good movie,” was all Eddie responded with. The sheer defeat that his voice was laced with had your heart breaking all over again.

Robin and Steve said nothing more as Steve rung up Eddie’s tape and handed it back to him. The interaction took less than a minute, and you couldn’t quite tell whether that relieved or saddened you. Now Eddie was taking the tape from Steve’s grasp and turning to leave. But the sound of his retreating footsteps did not come.

You felt Robin and Steve stiffen beside you at Eddie’s hesitation.

And then everything seemed to happen all at once.

Keith emerged from the backroom, looking altogether quite disinterested as he called out to Steve and beckoned for him to follow. Steve hesitated, turning to look at Robin before he tentatively leaned away from the counter and slowly made his way to the backroom without ever taking his eyes off of Eddie. And then as if the world was somehow hellbent on ensuring your aloneness with someone you did not wish tose, the bell above the door chimed as somebody else entered the store.

“Can I please have some help?” an old woman called from the front, and you felt as Robin stiffened beside you.

“I can help you from here-” Robin tried to say but paused abruptly as you hit her leg. “Alright, fine, I’ll be right there,” she continued before begrudgingly leaving the desk with a final sympathetic look down towards you.

Eddie was silent now, making it difficult to determine where exactly he was, but then he was moving once more, returning to the counter to lean down upon it. You held your breath, not quite sure what you were waiting for.

“I told someone once that I had never been in love.”

His voice startled you so that you had to bring a hand up to cover your mouth in an attempt to stifle the gasp that fell from your lips. He was close now, close enough that you could hear him breathing. And whilst it was clear he was resting upon the counter, you noticed that he did not lean forwards to peer over its edge; he did not see you.

“That wasn’t exactly true. There was a girl once. The first time I saw her was in high school. She probably doesn’t remember it, but I was walking down the hallway and she bumped into me. People shoved into me all the time in school so I wasn’t exactly surprised. But when I turned to look at her I thought to myself that I had never seen anyone more beautiful. She was wearing this dress with little flowers on it and her hair was tied up because it was so hot that day. And when she looked up at me, she smiled and then apologised and then left.” Eddie paused, and you could hear him swallow thickly as if the scene were replaying itself within his mind. “That smile haunted me for years.”

You didn’t remember the interaction, and for some reason the thought pained you. But you did remember the dress, a staple in your wardrobe before it had gotten a hole in the side seam.

“And then, years later, I saw her again, although this time she was playing an electric guitar and singing on a stage, and I honestly thought to myself that the world was fucking with me. Because how could there have been a person that beautiful and that talented that lived in Hawkins?   

“But then there was this stupid competition and the stupid songs that I couldn’t seem to write and the plan was so simple at first. You see, this girl was friends with this kid I knew. So I asked if he could get some song writing tips from her. But this kid,” Eddie chuckled to himself lightly, “he’s got a big imagination and the next thing I know he’s concocting this plan for me to date this girl so she can tell me all her song writing secrets herself. It was my plan though, not the kid’s, so I don’t blame him for everything going to shit. He’s a good kid, he just gets a little excited at times I think.”

You didn’t want to believe it, and yet it did sound like a very Dustin-like thing to do.

“I didn’t want to agree to the plan at first and I honestly think that the only reason I did say yes was because I was so completely sure that she would reject me. But there was something else as well, something that took me a long time to admit to myself. I think, deep down, I only really agreed to the plan because I’m a coward. The plan gave me an excuse to try with her, because I think that I never would have had the courage to talk to her otherwise. And then even when she eventually rejected me, I would be fine because none of it would have been real.”

You could feel tears start to well behind your eyes, and you tried desperately to keep them at bay. It was futile now to cling to the delusion that Eddie didn’t know you were residing behind the counter, and yet you did not get up and face him.

“But then when I did start to get to know her, she was more wonderful and more beautiful and more kind than I could have ever imagined. She was so kind that she didn’t reject me even though the rest of Hawkins would have. And then the more I got to know her the more...the more I began to fall for her because on top of her being talented and beautiful, she was also so fucking funny, which really just wasn’t fair to the rest of the human race at that point.

You stifled a laugh, which felt strange considering all the other emotions that were running through you.

“And I knew I should tell her everything, I wanted to tell her everything. But I just couldn’t bring myself to ruin everything. I was too scared to lose her. But I should have known I couldn’t hide it forever. I think it would’ve eaten me alive eventually, but the thing is, this girl is also super smart, so I should have known I could never keep anything from her for long.

“So when she found out and when everything eventually turned to shit, I avoided her. I told myself that I was avoiding her because she wouldn’t want to see me, but I think I was just being a coward again. I was scared of her hating me. I was scared that I would rock up to her house and I would just make her hate me more.

“But she deserves more than that. She deserves an apology and then she deserves to slap me again.”

And then, suddenly, Eddie did away with the pretending.

“You deserve better than me, Y/N, and if I was stronger I would have accepted that and stayed away from you. But I can’t, not from you, not when I haven’t even apologised.

“So I’m sorry. I am so fucking sorry for the way I hurt you. But if I were to do it all again I’m not sure that I’d change anything. Because even though I’ve probably lost you forever, I think that without that stupid plan I never would have had the courage to talk to you. And I’ll take the short time that I had with you over never having known you at all. So even though what we had didn’t last all that long, I need you to know that it was perfect; that you were perfect. It was all real, Y/N, every last word that I said to you and every single emotion that I felt towards you was real. I-” Eddie hesitated. “I love you, Y/N. I think I’ve loved you from the day that you bumped into me in the hallway.”

You didn’t quite catch the sob before it left your lips, so you curled into yourself more in an attempt to bury the emotions further down. You knew that Eddie was aware of your presence behind the counter, and yet still you remained upon the floor, not knowing what exactly you be met with should you stand to face Eddie and unwilling to find out. Not when he had just said all of that. Not when tears were streaming freely down your cheeks now.

“I won’t bother you again if that’s what you want. I just couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t at least give you the apology you deserved. I wanted it to be better than this. I even wrote it down a bunch of times, but nothing seemed quite right. But if this is all that I can get of you than that’s what I’ll take. I won’t bother you at the finals. Hell, I’ll pull out of the competition if you want me to. And then after that you don’t ever have to see me again.”

Eddie paused, and he stayed silent for so long that for just a moment you thought he’d left. When he spoke again, his voice was somehow softer so that it came out in barely more than a whisper.

“I-I want to fix this if you’ll let me. I don’t know how but I promise I’ll spend every day trying. I know I don’t deserve a second chance, though. I know it’s selfish of me to even ask, but I know that I’ll hate myself if I don’t try.

“If you don’t feel the same though-” Eddie’s voice cracked slightly, and at the sound of it you had to close your eyes in an attempt to stave off another sob. “I wouldn’t blame you if you don’t. Just avoid me at the comp and I’ll know. I-”

But suddenly Steve had returned, his pace almost a sprint as he made his way back behind the counter and spread his arms wide across the desk.

“Talking to yourself now, Munson?” Steve’s voice was low, an attempt at intimidation.

“Something like that,” Eddie said, his tone defeated.

And then he was leaving, his footsteps muffled by the carpet. The bell above the door chimed as he left, and you let out a shaky sigh at the sound of it.

“Are you alright?” Steve asked as you hastily wiped away your tears. “What did he say? Because I can run out into the carpark now and-”

You smiled slightly at Steve’s enthusiasm.

“I’m fine,” you interjected just as Robin returned.

“That’s like the third time this week that he’s rented that tape,” Robin said. “I mean, Top Gun wasn’t even that good.”

--- 

Somehow, as you pulled into the carpark of the competition’s venue for what would be the last time, everything was worse than it had been the week before.

Your nerves were at an all-time high, although that was to be expected. And yet the shaking of your hands and the shallowness of your breath seemed to be completely forgotten in the wake of the twisting in your stomach and the racing of your heart caused by the prospect of seeing Eddie Munson again.

And although you had been wracked with the same dread the last time you had found yourself within this carpark, now it was somehow worse. Because Eddie’s admission back at the video store had been repeating itself within your mind for the entirety of the week, and for the entirety of the week you had been at a loss for how you would respond when you eventually saw him again.

You thought of little else as you turned the car off and exited the vehicle, seemingly incapable of tuning in to the conversation that the girls were having around you. Procuring your instrument from the back, you felt strangely numb as you crossed the carpark, knowing that each step was taking you closer and closer to him.

“Do you know what you’re going to do yet?”

The voice startled you, and you turned to find Robin matching your hesitant pace, a kind smile waiting for you as you looked up at her.

“No,” you said, struggling to swallow the saliva that had suddenly accumulated in your mouth.

“Are you going to talk to him?” Robin queried again.

“I don’t know.”

“What’s the worst that going to happen if you talk to him?”

You turned to look at her, your brows furrowing.

“You’re awfully pushy for someone who told me that they would cut his dick off last week.”

“What can I say? I’m a sucker for a dramatic love confession.”

“Don’t remind me,” you groaned.

“No, but seriously. What’s the worst that’s going to happen if you just acknowledge his existence?”

“I could forgive him.”

“Would that really be so bad?”

You had been asking yourself that same question for the past week and had been unsuccessful in determining an answer. It was so easy to hate him, so easy to just label Eddie Munson as an asshole and call it a day. But that confession at the video store had made things harder now. It made your resolve in your hatred waiver. It made you question everything and then question it again, and that was the most terrifying thing of all.

You didn’t answer Robin’s question as the four of you made your way through stage door and down the hallway towards the green room. Your palms were sweating now, your grip upon the strap of your case so tight that your knuckles had turned white. The thrumming in your ears was deafening now so that whatever conversation was ensuing around you sounded like nothing more than a faint buzz. Your breath ripped itself from your throat with every exhale as if it too were trying to flee the inevitable situation, and with every subsequent inhale it felt like your breathing was becoming shallower and shallower until you thought it likely you might pass out. Maybe it would be better if you did, you thought. Maybe it would mean you could skip straight over the awkwardness that was awaiting you in that green room altogether.

In the end, your worry had been for nothing, for Eddie Munson was not within the green room when you entered.

His band was congregated in the corner, the low hum of their conversation instantly stopping when you entered the room. Gareth continued to stare unsubtly at you as Mike and Jeff offered you a smile. You tried to smile back, but your heart was only just starting to calm itself at the absence of Eddie so that you found yourself quite distracted as you did so.

You thought briefly of the possibility that maybe Eddie simply hadn’t come; that he had pulled out of the competition just like he had said he would do and had left the others to finish the competition without him. But even though the thought only stemmed from the hope that you wouldn’t have to see him—that you wouldn’t have to face him—you were perfectly well aware that the thought was completely ludicrous. You were quite certain that Eddie Munson would sooner drop dead than ever miss a performance, and the sight of his guitar leaning against the wall and his van still parked in the carpark outside dispelled the notion anyway.

“I’m just gonna head to the bathroom,” you said as you put down your guitar case.

“Ew, are you sure?” Robin said. 

The bathrooms at the venue were quite possibly one of the most disgusting and unsanitary places in the whole of Indiana. They were unisex and so contained a set of urinals that looked as if they hadn’t been cleaned in a decade. The smell of the room was concerningly putrid, only worsened by the fact that the only window within the space was firmly stuck shut. A truly remarkable amount of graffiti was tattooed upon every wall, a few markings having somehow found their way onto the roof as well. 

“You gotta go when you gotta go,” you tried to say nonchalantly.

In truth, you really just needed to leave. Gareth and Jeff had been whispering between each other for the entirety of your stay within the room, continuing to glance periodically over to you so that it was made abundantly clear that they were talking about you. Then there was Mike, who had also been staring completely unsubtly right at you with a remarkable amount of pity compacted behind his gaze.

You breathed out a sigh of relief once you had escaped the room, revelling in the silence of the hallway as you walked. Your heartrate was finally beginning to slow now, the thundering in your ears lessening so that by the time you reached the bathroom you were only plagued with your regular performance nerves.

You pushed the door open absentmindedly, cringing slightly at the sheer stickiness that your fingers were met with before you found yourself stifling a scream. For as you pushed the door open somebody had been about to open it on the other side so that a loud bang resounded throughout the space as the door collided with their head. You jumped backwards, listening as a groan of pain erupted from the bathroom before you gently pushed the door open once more.

“I am so sorry, I-” you paused at the sight of Eddie Munson standing before you, one hand cradling his head. He stilled when he saw you, his pain suddenly forgotten.

“Sorry,” Eddie apologised, although for what you weren’t quite sure. An awkward silence lingered between you now, neither of you quite knowing what to say. The thundering of your heart returned all at once, so renewed it its passions that you thought maybe you would pass out after all. You thought briefly of fainting right into Eddie’s open arms, and whilst the thought was not wholeheartedly repulsive, you shook your head to dispel of the idea nonetheless.

The silence stretched on, and after a moment or two a small sigh was leaving Eddie’s lips—so soft that you almost missed it—his eyes turning to the floor. He stepped to the side, allowing you to pass and giving you a wide berth to do so.

“I’ll...um...I’ll leave you be,” he said, and the disappointment in his voice made something crack in your heart. You stepped further into the room, and as you did so Eddie immediately outstretched his hand to keep the door propped open and leave.

“You’ve got something on your face...by the way.” The sound of your voice reverberating around the room surprised you, the desperation laced behind it even more so.. Eddie did have something on his face—a black mark that had likely been left from his run-in with the door—but a moment ago you had been completely content with your decision to allow Eddie to leave without telling him about it.

Eddie walked back into the room and headed instantly towards the sinks where he examined his face in the mirror. His eyes went wide at the black mark, his hands immediately coming up to wipe at the substance.

“Ew, what the fuck is on that door?”

Now, suddenly, you found yourself stifling a laugh as Eddie continued to rub furiously at the black mark and as the black mark only continued to spread. And although you managed to swallow the laugh before it escaped from your throat, the smile that accompanied it was not so easily stopped. Eddie’s eyes met yours in the reflection of the mirror, the corner of his lips quirking upwards ever so slightly.

“You find this funny, do you?” he teased.

“Immensely,” you responded, unable to stop it as your smile grew wider.

“It’s not my fault I was assaulted by a bathroom door,” Eddie said.

“You were standing right behind it.”

“Well how much force do you think you need to open a door? I swear I’m concussed or something now.”

There was another laugh now and this time it managed to escape your lips. You stilled at the sound of it. This was too easy, falling back into how things had been, and it scared you. Eddie noticed your change in demeanour, the smile dropping from his features. He turned back to himself in the mirror and continued rubbing at the black mark until he had successfully managed to spread it across half of his forehead.

Before you had even made the decision to do so, you found yourself walking into one of the stalls and ripping off a line of toilet paper, bringing it to the sink where you wet it slightly. You turned to face Eddie and you found him watching you intently, his gaze oddly hypnotising.

“Here,” you said softly, trying to ignore how rapidly your heart was beating now. You could see the surprise in Eddie’s features as he realised what you were doing, his eyes going slightly wide, his breath stilling altogether. And so the two of you stayed like that for some time, Eddie apparently in shock as your hand remained suspended in the air, you seemingly incapable of moving it upwards any further and yet unwilling to let yourself back away.

There was a stillness to the air as the silence lingered; something that held its breath along with you so that it felt almost as if time had stopped. But the stillness was not as awkward as one might expect. It was comfortable in a way; comfortable like how things used to be between the two of you. And so when you saw the slightest droop in Eddie’s shoulders as he slowly began to relax, it was as if your hand had regained its function to move once more, and the next thing you knew you were connecting the crumpled-up wad of toilet paper to Eddie’s forehead, wiping gently.

The silence only continued to grow as you slowly cleaned away the mess that had become Eddie’s forehead so that you became quite sure within that moment that neither you nor Eddie were breathing. But you were leaning so very close to him now so that you could think of nothing else other than the heat emanating from his skin and the smell of his cologne and the way that you could feel his gaze fixated upon you as you worked. You dared not meet his eyes, unsure what exactly you would see behind them and unwilling to find out. And yet the heat from his stare was so very tantalising as it traversed across your cheeks, over your brow, down to the curve of your jaw and then back up to where it rested upon your lips. It lingered there for some time, and yet still you forced your gaze to remain upon your work until the black mark had finally been cleaned and there was no longer a reason for you to continue to stand in such a close proximity with Eddie.

Yet still, you remained.

Your breathing was ragged, your heart beating so fast that you were quite sure that Eddie must have been able to hear the thrumming of your blood through your veins. Yet he remained just as still as your hand fell away from his forehead, and he made no move back away from you. The heat of his stare was too much now, and you found yourself surrendering in your fight, turning your gaze up to meet Eddie’s. You heard as his breath hitched in his throat as you did so.

A concoction of things met you behind the deep, brown eyes of Eddie Munson.

First, there was the sadness, which you had never quite seen such an abundance of behind Eddie’s eyes and yet which had been haunting you whenever you had met his gaze recently. Now it was still there, but it was almost as if it were more resigned, more subdued, as if Eddie had slowly come to terms with it.

Then there was something that looked like something close to fear; as if Eddie didn’t quite know how this situation was going to end and was scared of the possibilities. It was faint, but it was there nonetheless, almost hidden behind everything else. The sight of it was oddly satisfying.

But then there was something else, so small that you almost missed it. It was a light, a glint, a spark. It was hope. Because now you were standing so very close to Eddie that your chests were practically touching, so close in a way that you had not been since you had leaned down and brushed your lips against Eddie’s cheek at the Hideout. It was electrifying being back in such close proximity to him again, so much so that you could feel your skin yearning to touch his, could feel your lips tingling as if they were remembering how they had felt after that wonderful kiss in his trailer.

It would be so very easy to forgive him; to close what small distance still remained between you and claim what your body desired. But that hope behind his eyes was a frightening thing, for you realised that the same spark that lingered behind his gaze was likely mirrored within your own.

“I’m sorry,” Eddie suddenly whispered into the air between you.

“I know,” you found yourself whispering back.

“Oh thank god.” Eddie breathed a sigh of relief and you furrowed your brows at it. At the sight of your confusion, Eddie hastened to elaborated. “I-I just mean that...well...I thought that you were behind the desk at Family Video but I wasn’t sure so there was a chance that I was just saying all...” Eddie paused and swallowed, and for a moment you became distracted by the bobbing of his Adam’s apple. “All that to thin air.”

You remembered his speech so clearly; the way he had poured his heart out to the empty space behind the counter, the way his voice had cracked slightly when he had uttered those three words to you and the way you had been so fearful to stand and face him, to see whatever pain you knew would be plastered across his features. You thought of those three words, those three simple words and the sheer weight that had been behind them when Eddie had said them. There had been a part of you that had wanted to not believe him, that had wanted to dispel those three words as just another lie. But the thought itself had been preposterous the moment it had ran through your mind.

You thought for just a moment that if Eddie had uttered those words under different circumstances—if he had said them after another date or after another kiss—whether you might have considered the possibility of saying them back, and your inability to produce an answer was the scariest thing of all.

Suddenly, Eddie’s proximity to you seemed to register all at once—the way his skin was practically touching yours, the way your breaths were intermingling with each other—and you pulled away so quickly it looked almost as if you had been burned. But Eddie did not flinch as you left his side, did not even blink, almost as if he had been expecting it.

“Sorry,” he said. “I-ugh...I can leave if you want. O-or if you want to leave I can stay here for a bit.” Eddie walked forward, making as if to go, but stopped halfway to the door and turned back to face you. “You don’t...this doesn’t have to mean anything if you don’t want it to. I know we ran into each other by coincidence, so I understand if you still don’t want to-”

Eddie’s gaze was turned down towards the floor as if he could not quite face you whilst he uttered the words. There was something in the way he held himself now—the stoop in his posture, the timidity in his gaze, the sheer uncertainty in his being—that had you wanting to reach out and touch him. And although the thought had only been fleeting, suddenly you found your hand outstretching towards Eddie seemingly of its own volition. You panicked as you watched it near him, your heart thundering so loudly in your chest you were sure Eddie would be able to hear it. But his back was to you now, unable to see your hand’s approach until your pinky finger was tentatively wrapping around his.

Your breathed hitched in your throat just as Eddie’s posture stiffened, the two of you remaining motionless within the room as the silence seemed to encompass you. The stillness seemed never-ending; the tension so palpable that if one were to run a knife through the air they would likely feel the resistance of it. And yet you did not pull away. Because although it was only a singular finger that was touching him, although the silence that lingered between you seemed almost as if it might stretch on forever, the featherlight touch brought all of it back. You remembered first seeing Eddie in the crowd of your show looking remarkably out of place and yet completely at home all at once. You remembered the strangled cry that had left your lips at his unexpected presence during your shift, and then your subsequent flood of embarrassment when you realised he had caught you singing. You remembered the theft of your keys, seeing Eddie play for the first time, talking with him over milkshakes. You remembered how caring he had been when he had driven you home after Robin’s party, how he had held you against his chest and rushed you out of the diner to stop you from paying, how delicately he had held you in the silence of his bedroom.

You realised in that moment that you could not let Eddie leave the bathroom without speaking with him. You could not let him leave operating under the assumption that you never wanted to speak with him again. Because although the thought was tempting, although you had seriously considered just avoiding him for the rest of your life and hoping that your feelings would go away with him, the singular touch of his finger against yours made you reconsider. It made you remember all of the times that he had made you smile and all of the times he made you laugh.

You remembered how happy Eddie Munson made you.

And then your mind turned to all of the things Eddie had said, to all of the beautiful and tempting words he had laid out bare before you when the two of you had been yelling at each other in the carpark of the competition’s venue. There were the words he had uttered down towards you at Family Video, the words that had had your heart both wrenching in pain and soaring in happiness. The boy from the basketball team had said nothing of the sort after he had stood you up. Tommy H had not even once acknowledged your presence after the embarrassment he had caused you.

So as you looked up at him and as Eddie’s gaze remained resolutely upon the floor, you could not quite help the small flutter of your heart as you stepped closer towards him. You could hear as his breath hitched in his throat, saw as his eyes tentatively made their way up to yours.

“Just-” you began, trying to collate the racing of your thoughts into something at least partly understandable. “I just…”

But now Eddie’s eyes were boring into your own, and you found yourself getting lost within them. They were just as big and round and brown as you had always known them to be, but mostly, they were just as comforting, and you felt the racing of your heart slow just slightly. His finger gripped yours more tightly, and the action had your heart fluttering anew. You were close now, closer than you had been in a very long time and yet you did not step away.

As you continued to stare up at Eddie you saw nothing but the depth of his eyes. Within that depth you found the small spark of hope that still lingered there, maybe burning a little bit brighter now. And although the sight of it still scared you, you could not quite bring yourself to extinguish it.

“I just need some time,” you finally said. “To think.”

Eddie let out a sigh, but whether it was of relief or defeat you could not quite tell. He closed his eyes for just a moment, and you could not quite help the rise of disappointment that flooded through you. He would not wait, you realised. He would not wait whilst you tried to figure out whether things could still work, and the thought made you regret ever lingering within the bathroom with him in the first place.

But then Eddie’s finger was leaving yours as his hand engulfed your own. The touch was unexpected, and the feeling of the weight of his palm pressing into yours—the feeling of the familiarity of his touch—had you wanting to pull away. But you did not. Because when Eddie reopened his eyes there was something else behind them now; a flame that had not been there before.

“I will give you anything that you need.”

You knew that he would; the flame behind his eyes—only growing in intensity the more he looked upon you—confirmed it. And it was for that very reason that you could not stay within the bathroom any longer, for your gaze had momentarily flicked down to Eddie’s lips, the sight of them so close and so full and so tempting before you. It would be too easy to lean just slightly upwards and connect your lips to his, and the sheer desire that you felt to do so was a dangerous thing.

But before you left you found your hand—the one that was not currently being held tightly within the confines of Eddie’s palm—reaching upwards. Your palm cupped Eddie’s cheek gently, and it was clear that the tender action surprised him just as much as it did you, for his breath hitched in his throat once more. But a moment later he relaxed, and soon you found him closing his eyes and leaning into your touch.

“Thank you,” you whispered, and with a strength you did not know you could muster, you pulled yourself away from Eddie and left.

Eddie did not follow for quite some time.

---

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buckttommy · 11 months

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kissing u on the mouth for the zayn tags

It needs to be said. Zayn is a powerhouse, he always has been. Even back during the band, I remember thinking that when they ended, it would be a tossup between him and Harry as to who would come out on top (the only reason Liam wasn't apart of that conversation is because he lacks the confidence and social charisma to carry on a sustainable solo career, as unfortunately indicated by... whatever he's doing now. Definitely not because he's lacking the vocal ability because I've always thought Liam had the most classically appealing voice). But anyway.

I remember when Pillow Talk came out and the Big Larries (you know the ones) were raking him over the coals for it, but in all actuality, that release did exactly what he wanted it to do: it set him apart and, like he said in that interview, it gave him the rare, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to be the first one out of the biggest band in the world. He could have chosen any genre in the world, but he chose R&B, and despite what anyone else might think, everyone else's solo career was built around Zayn's. Because what else were they going to do? Compete for space in the same genres? That would make the discrepancies between their abilities overwhelmingly obvious. So Zayn planted his flag in R&B, and then Harry/HS1 with soft rock, Niall/NH1 with singer-songwriter, and so forth. (Disclaimer: Obviously, it was fairly obvious which direction each 1D boy was going to go, especially in the later albums, and especially with MITAM, where they all had the most creative control over the lyrics, music, etc.)

But back to Zayn. We always talked about Louis's business sense and how he would be a powerhouse in the industry (I still believe that, if he settled down long enough to go corporate) but Zayn's right up there with him. The fact that, even back then, he could look at what was going on within and around their contract negotiations and know, "okay, this is a sinking ship" speaks to a level of profound intellect and insight into the working cogs of the industry itself.

I also find it interesting that he said they got sick of each other because that's the most honest thing I've ever heard any of them say about what happened to their relationship(s). I mean, living in each other's pockets it was bound to happen (and we all know that toward the end of it, there was, is, and will be animosity between him and Harry) but, I don't know. Lots to think about there when I consider how much they tried to play it up for the camera (especially during 2014/FOUR promo, which Zayn was completely fucking checked out of and we all knew, and especially during Orlando, I think it was (when Louis was wearing the green hoodie, like something went down during that time for sure). But yeah! hUh! lots to ponder, lots to ponder

#apparently I have a lot of thoughts about this sorry lol #zanye magic #i feel like i'm slowly coming out of hibernation (dipping my toe into one dee) now that he's back #(she says even though she knows he's going to disappear again)#seed <333 #fandom: 1d

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rosietrace · 5 months

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〈アイドル! 〉Vault Track — Solo Sensation

〈天才的なアイドル様!! 〉

「↺ 概要 ↻」— 「 ↺ Overview/Synopsis! ↻ 」

❐ With the idol scene on the rise, Night Raven Entertainment found it opportunistic to promote their new and improved idol group; (Co)-Connect! Though the group has a lot to go about, the members are still in need of dire improvement before they can truly shine alongside their peers.

Fortunately, NRE found the perfect mentor for the job; The ex member of Poisoner — and long-time solo sensation — Shōri.

[ Apologies for any out of character moments ]

[ Reblogs > Likes ]

──ㅇ─────↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺───ㅇ────

「 2 Weeks before the release of “Ditto” 」

“Shōri!”

“Shōri, look here!”

“Shōri, is it true that you're replacing Koral Larrane as the opening act for the ‘Nonsense’ tour?”

Behind her sunglasses, Victoria had narrowed her eyes.

Behind her, Noriko was keeping the paparazzi — more specifically the reporters — at bay. That, at least, is something she is thankful for.

“Good news,” her secretary — H.T. (The initials of her full name) — walked beside her. “You're number one on the Spotify billboard charts.”

“And what of them?” Victoria questioned. The them being the idol group she left to pursue a solo career; Poisoner.

H.T. checked her tablet, and then answered, “Fifth in the charts.”

“Excellent,” Victoria declared a bit before her entrance to NRE was blocked by a sea of reporters.

“Shōri,” one of them held a microphone to her lips. “What do you have to say now that your latest single has stayed number one on the charts after three weeks?”

A polite smile graced her features. “I'm incredibly grateful,” she said, her composure — her posture — rivaling that of royalty.

“‘NOIR’ has been a very enjoyable project of mine. In both production and songwriting, dare I say that it's quickly become one of my favorite songs as of late.”

She and the reporter shared a collective chuckle. But before said reporter, or anyone else for that matter, could ask her more questions — Noriko took matters into his own hands and cleared the path to the entrance.

“I could inform security to disperse the press once we enter,” Noriko suggested. Behind their sunglasses (one that matched hers), Victoria could tell that they were worried.

She let out a sigh. “I believe that would be necessary,” she replied, the automatic doors to NRE opening before her.

“I'll go inform security on your behalf,” in less than a minute, Victoria's secretary drifted further into the building. Likely to do what Noriko had suggested for her boss’ sake.

Noriko stepped in front of her, extending a hand. “Shall we?” He said, head nodding to the elevator behind him.

Wanting nothing more than to return to her apartment, she took their hand in less than a heartbeat.

“We shall.”

•↻°─────────°↺•

Well, very quickly, Victoria's mood had soured. Mostly because of Crowley, but that's honestly not that surprising.

She didn't even have time to relax for a bit once she got to her apartment, apparently. Almost immediately, Crowley had placed a phone call and demanded that Victoria go to his office as soon as possible.

Now, Victoria was almost convinced that Crowley was going to call it quits on her career as an idol. Given the number of accusations made about her, the numerous boycotts caused by fans who once loved her for Poisoner, and her not-so-subtle bad blood with a former colleague; She wouldn't have been all that surprised if he fired her.

But nope. That wasn't the case, like, at all.

“So, let me get this straight,” Victoria leaned against her chair, her eyes squinted at Crowley, the pretentious CEO that he was.

“You,” she pointed at Crowley, “Want me to become a mentor?”

“That is what I said, yes,” Crowley nodded in confirmation.

Noriko scrunched their nose, but Victoria was the one to rip their thoughts out of their head.

“Why?” her face twisted in disbelief.

Crowley let out a long breath. “I believe you to be the best candidate, Shard,” he stated, his voice uncharacteristically stern. “All I ask of you is to be the personal mentor to the Ramshackle division’s newest unit.”

“With all due respect, sir, my lady has no obligation to accept such a request,” Noriko's voice was low, easily registerable, and equally as stern. They kept their hands behind their back, to hide their clenched fists.

“Watch your tongue, Dolion,” Crowley warned, his attention turning back to Victoria in less than a millisecond. “And you will accept.”

“What happens if I don't?”

“I don't think you want to hear the answer to that, my dear.”

“I feel obligated to say I do want to hear it, sir,” Victoria remarked, feeling tempted to grind her teeth together.

Crowley raised his chin, his expression cold and unfeeling. “I'll bring an end to your contract if you don't accept.”

Noriko's eyes widened. “That sounds a bit excessive-”

“Silence, Nori,” Victoria commanded, and Noriko obeyed without a second thought. Reading between the lines, she began seeing through Crowley's threat.

It certainly isn't an empty threat, he's more than capable of firing me, her thoughts seemed to be running as fast as a rollercoaster. However….

It became obvious to her; Crowley was bluffing. And once she figured it out, it didn't take long for Noriko to figure it out as well.

No way in hell would he fire me, she may have been a little overconfident in such an assumption, but Victoria felt like she had a right to feel that way. After all, I'm one of his biggest money-making machines…

Clicking her tongue, Victoria uncrossed her legs, adjusting her position in the chair. “I see,” of course she did. She saw through it all, every bluff, every detail.

“But why me, specifically?” as always, Victoria made sure to bring up the important questions.

Crowley huffed, but at least felt polite enough to give her the response she'd willingly force out of him.

“You seem to be the best candidate for this particular group,” oh? “You've been working with the company for longer than most others. And, aside from that, your experience in the industry is something (Co)-Connect can use as an example.”

She was intrigued to say the least. She'll have to look into it a bit more, naturally. Take it into consideration, almost certainly.

Placing her hands on Crowley's desk, Victoria got up from her chair, guided by Noriko out of his office.

Crowley got up as well, ready to stop her.

“Shard-”

“Our discussion has ended, sir.”

Victoria gave Crowley one last look, right as the doors slammed shut in front of them.

“However, be certain that I will take your offer into consideration.”

〈 Bonus 〉

User ‘caecuscaptures’, an anonymous Twitter/X account dedicated to posting photos of Shōri and her bodyguard, Noriko Dolion.

──ㅇ─────↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺───ㅇ────

〈 Taglist 〉

(Co)-Connect

@starry-night-rose • @jasdiary • @authoruio • @fumikomiyasaki • @sakuramidnight15

Others

@geminiiviolets • @terrovaniadorm / @celiica • @twistedsongstressofstarz / @absolutelyobsessedkiya • @twsted-princess

──ㅇ─────↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺───ㅇ────

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louisupdates · 1 year

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All of Those Voices’: the Ugly Truth Behind Louis Tomlinson’s Rise to Stardom

THE TEEN MAG

By María Vieytez | 5 April 2023

A nostalgic embrace between four band members; longing words for deceased mother and sister; 23-year-old Louis Tomlinson drowning in doubt and uncertainty over a menacing future ahead as a solo artist. Such were the images publicly revealed for the first time on March 22nd, 2023 in worldwide cinemas as part of the feature-length documentary ‘All of Those Voices’. Such was the story former-One-Direction-member Louis Tomlinson had to share with his fans.

As Louies (the eponymous moniker Tomlinson’s fandom wears) gathered in different countries’ theatres to reminisce the good old days and get exclusive footage of One Direction and Louis’ backstage highlights, their rose-tinted expectations were forced away as they met with astonishing testimonies from his family, friends, and even himself, on what his journey toward his most recent album ‘Faith in The Future’ truly meant. What Louies once believed to be a straight-lined success story —certainly involving battles previously revealed by the media, but nonetheless not as brutal as those portrayed in the movie— encapsulated in an endearing hour-and-a-half film, resulted in being a moving insight and blow-to-the-face documentary, leaving many with a larger admiration of their icon’s strength, and some others with a torn heart, feeling deeply sorry for a man who now appears most vulnerable before their stricken eyes. Regardless of having received it with the former or latter perspective (or a mixture of both), the film was responsible for portraying the raw reality that comes with self-doubt as a rising star, an unexpected separation from a hit-wonder band, and the passing of a mother and a sister in a matter of two years; here’s what that looked like.

Taking his Own Direction

Tomlinson was a member of the British band One Direction, releasing five hit-albums, touring with the other four members for five years, selling over 70 million records worldwide, bringing home seven BRIT awards, seven AMAs, and creating what appeared the perfect $215 million business empire, until his world came down when the band decided to go on an “18-month” hiatus in 2016, and he was left stranded.

“I think the feeling I remember the most is a little bit of anger, because I didn’t want to go on a break. It didn’t just upset me, it shocked me. I wasn’t prepared for it... It was not as if in the five years I was in the band that I’d ever dreamt about being a solo artist. Not once, because I was so obsessed with us moving as a unit and being part of this team. I’ve spent all my years doing this, I don’t really see myself doing anything else … It was very easy for me to imagine Harry having a solo career, Liam having a solo career. It was harder for me to imagine myself doing that. It was like, what the fuck am I going to do?”

The band’s separation meant the start of a foreign era and the abandonment of what appeared to be a gleaming past. However, when presented with the reality of Louis’ role as part of the band, "All of Those Voices” exposed it to be near-as emotionally damaging as his aimless solo era proved to be. “I didn’t know at the start who I was within One Direction”, he explained. Louis revealed that during the band’s beginnings, he felt like an odd-fitting piece inside a collective, a sense further abetted by his lack of vocal feature on their first album. He would stream their songs from “Up All Night” —One Direction’s debut— and hear Harry Styles’ voice on the verses he’d spent hours recording, and soon realized, that his presence in the band was dismissed, making him feel unworthy of the fans’ praise. “When I think about how proud I am of 1d, I think of it as a collective”, Louis stated. He didn’t feel as if his work was an element of the band’s success until he began to take the lead in songwriting; then, his perspective changed. “If I think about what makes me the most proud as me, as an individual in that band, it’s definitely having the most writing credits”, and by “most”, he means more than 35 credits throughout the five years of One Direction’s production.

Although Louis’ personal testimony about One Direction in the film started off appearing as pitiable, the development and end of such, proved it to be an opportunity for growth and personal development, which allowed him to be, one of, if not the best lyricist amongst the boys’ solo careers, something shown initially in his album ‘Walls’, and most recently, in ‘Faith in The Future’. Nevertheless, Louis’ struggles were far from over, because only eleven months after 1D’s separation, he would suffer from great loss.

In December 2016, Tomlinson went on stage at The X Factor final for his debut solo television performance. As he put on a show with his single “Just Hold On” with Steve Aoki on the mixer, his gaze met with the ceiling, and his eyes gleamed as he sang through grief. Three days prior, Louis’ mother, Johanna Deakin, had died from leukemia at the age of 43. Still, Louis, with a heavy heart, and a soul yearning for a mother who, in life, had been a best friend, came on stage and got a standing ovation from the X-factor judges.

“The bottom line is, I didn’t want me mum feeling like what happened to her was going to jeopardize my career,” he recalls. “I had just got this feeling from her and the things that she was saying that I was just to keep doing what I’m doing, trying to keep strong. I got up on that day for her more than I did me.”

Louis’ resolution after his mother’s passing was to keep living “one life for the two of us”, as he expresses in his song ‘Two of Us’, featured as a eulogy for Johanna in the album ‘Walls’. The beginning of his solo career presented itself as an opportunity to make her proud, and such a feeling was transmitted to his entire family in the mourning process.

“She would not have allowed us to kind of sit and let stuff take over our life or let anything ruin our life,” Louis’ sister, Lottie, says in the film. “She brought us up to be strong and she brought us up to look after each other and just to get on with things.”

Louis' career was bound for success. In 2017, he released his single 'Just Like You', in which he portrayed the reality behind fame and the battles he shares with every ordinary person in the 21st century.

“The fans have seen so much and got to know us so well, but I’ve never really had a chance to be as honest like that with music. So that was really refreshing. It was just important for me to write a song that could humanize me as much as possible, and that the fans could really feel like I'm just like them – honest and vulnerable and real.”

'Just Like You' became Louis' tool to show that, as a human, he suffered from heartbreak just like his fans do. Little did he know, that soon, his heart would break even further, as he would lose his sister Félicité only two years after his mom's passing. A drug-use overdose would take away his 18-year-old sister's life after a relapse, setting Louis back in self-doubt and lost in his journey.

“We did a lot, me and Louis, working together to try and help Fizz,” Lottie says in the documentary. “Obviously, it didn’t work. I felt that, kind of, how could we not get her out of this? I can only imagine how he felt. I’m sure it was heightened, one because he’s a brother and two because he probably felt the responsibility from our mum.”

“Life always throws shit at you,” Louis said. “Yes, I’ve had maybe more to deal with than most people my age. But then, when the natural things happen in life, when things weren’t going my way, I couldn’t deal with it. It was like, but I’ve already had so much to deal with. When am I going to start winning?”

Nonetheless, Louis would yet again use this loss as an opportunity for growth, and a year later, he would release his first studio album, 'Walls'.

Recovery and new Album Releases

In 2020, things started to look up. Louis' debut album 'Walls' was released, including tracks such as 'Don't Let it Break Your Heart', in which he expressed that he was "driving down a one-way road to something better...what hurts you is gonna pass, and you’ll have learnt from it when it comes back. You'll be doing better". His growth was evident, and his album, a success.

Walls had gained over 780 million streams, and Louis was about to start the European leg of his world tour, when the pandemic hit, and he was forced to stay home. In the film, Louis shared that he spent time in quarantine between producing his most recent album, 'Faith In The Future', and visiting his son, Freddie, in Los Angeles.

Back to normality, Louis continued with his tour, in which he traveled from Europe to South and North America, in a self-discovery process and recovery, in which he was able to finally recognize his value and the weight of his voice. While he was on stage, his fans reassured him of the importance he held in their lives, and in his shows, he'd often say "I need you, you need me". Mid-tour, his second album was released, and as he got to perform it before the crowds, the love transmitted to him on the stage, became even more fervent.

"I've just spent so long working for this moment, and tonight was the pinnacle of that idea. It's like me life just flashed before my eyes on the stage... I just feel blessed, man"

'All Of Those Voices' placed the story of Louis' journey from a dark place to becoming one of the brightest stars in the music industry, on the big screen. From severe loss and crippling self-doubt, Louis rose above the challenges in his career, achieving over 180 million streams on his most recent album. His story became one that inspired millions of fans around the world, and, in retrospect, he's finally able to admit that "Yeah, I do feel like I deserve this, and that's probably the first time I've actually said that out loud".

#louis press #the teen mag #aotv review #5.4.23 #louis tomlinson

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apureniallsource · 1 year

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Niall Horan is just getting started.

From his days as a boy bander (ever heard of One Direction?), to branching out as a solo artist in 2016, to now leading a team of hopeful musicians as a coach on NBC’s The Voice while gearing up to release his third album, Horan has experienced more in his career than most musicians could ever dream of. Now 13 years in, he’s hitting a new stride—and leading the show all on his own. “As I grow up, I understand myself as an artist more and more,” he told VMAN last month. “I’m getting to that place now where I know what I’m good at, and I know what sounds good on me.”

Horan has had plenty of time to play around with his sound. His second album, Heartbreak Weather—which was an experimental foray into heartbreak pop and a solid departure from his folksy 2017 debut, Flicker—was released in March 2020, just as the world slowed to a halt for the pandemic. Instead of feeling sorry about the timing, Horan took his sudden stretch of free time and got to work on album number three, The Show, which comes out on June 9. In fact, the major source of inspiration for The Show came to Horan shortly after Heartbreak Weather’s release, when an Instagram Live with his fans caused him to rethink a concept he’d already written. “I looked back and saw that ‘the show’ was something I’d had written down for a long time, but I never really knew what that meant until we were in the pandemic,” he explained. “And then it was clear to me that life is like a show. That’s what it is: it’s ups and downs, goods and bads.”

In many ways, the album reflects that. Horan dances around the joys of being in love and the pains of anxiety and finds his groove throughout the album’s 10 tracks. And as he settles into this new era, he feels reinvigorated as an artist: “I want to play arenas. I want to play packed shows every night. And I want to work my ass off to make sure that I get there.”

VMAN sat down with Horan to talk about the making of ‘The Show’, and his new singles “Meltdown” and “Heaven.”

VMAN: Congrats on the second single, “Meltdown.” You also have your first single, “Heaven,” which is just such a catchy song. When did you write that one, and did you always know that it would be the first single?

Niall Horan: Yeah, to be honest. When we first did it, I was like, “God, this is it. It’s going to be tough to beat this one.” I wrote it in June or July of last year in Joshua Tree with a few friends of mine. I felt like I’d been missing something like that in the record, and I wanted to write that concept, so I just went for it and it kind of just popped out. I’d been singing the chorus melody for a couple of days, or at least the first couple of lines of it, and I wasn’t really sure what the hell it was until one of the guys started playing the chords, and I was like, “I know what this is. I’m gonna sing over that.” And then the concept really fell into place then afterwards.

VM: Is that pretty typical of your songwriting process?

NH: I mean, there’s one song in the record that I wrote in under an hour, and it was like, the words just came flying out. I just knew what the concept was going to sound like, if you know what I mean. But there are other times, like, I had this piano line forever for “Never Grow Up,” but it was just about finding what the song meant conceptually, and what lyrics go with that. Most of the time, I like to have a good idea of what I’m going to say, so I write a story out. If it’s a dark song, it’s probably going to be a ballad. But sometimes, it’s the opposite. Like, there’s “Meltdown,” that’s 170 BPM, very up-tempo, but it’s actually about anxiety.

VM: Every song on the album feels really unguarded, if that’s the right word for it. How do you let yourself get into that headspace to be so introspective and vulnerable when you’re writing? I can’t imagine it’s easy.

NH: It used to be really hard for me to do that. You just have to do it in a way where people understand what you’re saying, instead of being so introspective that you’re writing every little detail of your life, and people are like, “what are you even talking about.” So you want to relate to everyone, but it can be tough to get yourself to that point. I used to worry about being asked about stuff in interviews…I thought about writing about certain things and just knowing I was going to be asked about that forever.

VM: Yeah, hard to kind of walk that line I guess. Would you say music has always been the way that you’ve channeled your feelings?

NH: Yeah, I do a lot of writing. And sometimes, it turns into songs, sometimes it doesn’t, but I try to write stuff down. This is the most cliché thing that anyone’s ever said, but sometimes is like a form of therapy. I don’t go to therapy, but I do when I sit down and play the guitar, you know?

VM: So would you say then that overall, the album reflects where you are in your life right now?

NH: Yeah, I think it’s the best reflection for sure. Even when I listen to it now, it’s got like everything that I feel two years later, sonically, lyrically, and conceptually. It’s all there.

VM: How did you land on The Show as the album title? I know you have the song by the same name, but what does that phrase mean to you?

NH: The title came before the song, to be fair. Back then, I was taking down notes all the time. I’ve got 101,270 voice notes, I checked earlier. And I looked back and saw that “the show” was something I’d had written down for a long time, but I never really knew what that meant until we were in the pandemic. And then it was clear that life is like a show. That’s what it is: it’s ups and downs, goods and bads. And that felt like a good strong concept to me in terms of sitting down to write an album. And once I’d written the song called “The Show,” I felt like alright, I’m off to the races here a little bit. It just kind of fell into place like that.

VM: So “The Show” was the first song you wrote for the album?

NH: It was, yeah. It was like a 1 a.m. Instagram Live with my fans in the pandemic, because we weren’t going anywhere, you know. I wrote the first verse of the song, and then the whole album just made sense from that. It’s a hard one to describe, how it just came about.

VM: Sonically, then, how do you think you’ve evolved in the three years since Heartbreak Weather?

NH: I’ve really started to bring my influences—the stuff that I listen to—into play now. The stuff that I’m into from the ‘70s is coming into play a lot with all the big, bright background vocals that you hear throughout the album.

VM: Switching gears a bit, you obviously got your start on The X Factor. Now being a coach on The Voice, I’m curious if that aligns with what you thought it would be like to be a judge, back when you were a contestant on The X Factor?

NH: I was like a deer in the headlights, back in the day. There’s loads of famous people who have got your future in their hands, and I was still just taken aback by the fact that I was on a big TV show every Saturday night. I was just loving that we were having such a great time, so I didn’t really look at it from the other side. Now, knowing that I have people’s future in my hands is a scary prospect. I have to make really tough decisions about people leaving the competition, losing team members, stuff like that. I can now understand what it would have been like for those people who had to make decisions on my behalf and my future. Apart from that, it’s just an absolute blast. We spend all of our time laughing, on and off camera. The banter between all the coaches is so good.

VM: So, festival season is coming up, and you’re playing at quite a few. First of all, what are you most looking forward to with that, and second of all, do you think that playing for a festival audience is going to be different from a more traditional concert audience?

NH: I’m so excited for festivals—I’m a huge festival-goer. And I always get jealous when I’m watching the artists on stage, just thinking that I’d love to be up there looking at that sea of people. So, I’m looking forward to doing that. But I also see it as a challenge to try and get some new fans, because I’ve been that drunk guy walking around the field looking for the bar, and then walking past the stage and there’s someone up there playing and all of a sudden, I’m listening to their music online. I’ve done that so many times at festivals.

VM: You’ve got to get the people who are in the back getting food or something.

NH: Exactly. Hopefully, the guy going to the bar looking for a drink or whatever might stick around, then might listen to me online, and then might even buy my new record. You never know.

#niall horan #28april

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mannytoodope · 21 days

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David Byrne (born 14 May 1952) is the founding member, principal songwriter, lead singer, and guitarist of my favorite band, Talking Heads. Byrne has a mellow voice, clever lyrics, and a fun onstage presence. He is also known for his "odd work habits" and wanting everything just right, but in a recent interview, he said he has lightened up. Byren also mentioned that the band would not get back together even for money because it would lose the art of music. When Talking Heads disbanded in 1991, Byrne released several solo albums and worked with close friend and musician Brian Eno numerous times. He was asked why he started making different from Talking Heads and if he was afraid he would alienate some fans; he said that they would understand and know that they wanted to shift gears for a bit. Byrne has collaborated with multiple artists, including my favorite rap group, De La Soul, and it's pretty cool because the song sounds like it could have been one of his songs. I like his work in and outside of music. He wrote and directed one of my favorite films, True Stories. He dabbles in photography and has written books in both fiction and non-fiction. Byrne said he had borderline Asperger's syndrome. He calls himself "an anthropologist from Mars." He has received a Grammy for his work in music. He also received an Oscar and a Golden Globe for composing music and the original score for the film The Last Emperor. In 2002, he and the other members of Talking Heads were inducted into The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame with Talking Heads. He has even been featured on The Simpsons. Byrne is an eclectic person who has experimented with other genres of music while still keeping his original essence. He did a Broadway version of his last album that is still going strong. His parents live in the town he grew up in, although they may have moved on. He made punk for "art nerds. "Byrne is an original and eccentric artist who has inspired and influenced artists and fans like me.

#Singer Songwriter #Musician #Record Producer #Music Theorist #Actor #Director #Author #Post Punk #New Wave #Art Pop #World #Electronic #Talking Heads

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practically-an-x-man · 1 month

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more thoughts about Wish:

Chris Pine has the best voice acting in this movie by far. Dude could be a legitimately scary villain if the animation wasn't so goofy

I'm telling you dude, the man is acting his ass off but the script and animation style are just ruining all the emotion he's giving

Alan Tudyk is also putting in the work but the script is not working in his favor

Evan Peters needs more lines. His character is legitimately interesting, a young guy who just gave up his wish and is now weirdly lethargic all the time, but they don't explore it enough

Speaking of the animation, it felt very inconsistent. With the King especially we'd get like... one cool moment (like him stopping the globes during his solo song) but then it's immediately cut by these goofy Nimona-as-Ballister type motions

The facial expressions are generally overblown, past the point of "animation stretching the rules" and into "this just looks goofy"

Like I said before, it feels like a patchwork of a dozen other, better Disney movies. My dad and I were watching this going "Tangled. Brave. Frozen. Peter Pan. Mulan."

The third act is like... Rise of the Guardians meets that one scene in Trolls where they sing True Colors

The music is just inconsistent. I think it mainly comes from the fact that they had a pop singer/songwriter do the music rather than a musical theatre composer, there aren't any consistent themes or leitmotifs and it leaves everything feeling very disjointed.

Some of the songs on their own are decently catchy but they just feel like they're trying way too hard

The dialogue is the same way. It serves a purpose but it doesn't quite feel natural or human. Some characters are worse than others and the VO work plays a role but the script itself is just awkward

I think they've just set up too many characters here. If they took two people out of Asha's friend group it would leave more room to develop the others. As it is, I don't remember their names and I have no idea what they want

Except for Asha since she's the main character and Simon because he's the only one who stands out from the rest (again, really interesting character! drastically underutilized!)

Feels like the talking animals are only a thing because it's a Disney movie. Valentino I understand, animal sidekicks are a classic, but the chickens and squirrels and mice are just too much

As a whole there's just... no substance in it. It feels like they've tried to make The Disney Movie and just started making it without even deciding on the themes or characters' journeys at all

It is a heaping pile of deus ex machinas. Every single problem in this movie is resolved in some cheeky little deus ex machina, solely for the sake of a stupid joke or a cheap reference to another Disney reference

If you're gonna copy Lin-Manuel Miranda's composition style anyway... just hire Lin-Manuel Miranda. At least he knows how rhyme schemes and leitmotifs work

This movie is so fucking trite it makes me legitimately angry

Good points I guess (because I refuse to dish on a movie without pointing out something decent about it):

Some of the songs are kinda catchy

There are a few powerful moments of animation, mostly with the King

There are little gold character moments here and there: the King's desperation for power, Simon's character as a whole, Asha's selflessness sparking the initial wish, etc.

Some of the voice acting is legitimately good!

The concept itself is interesting, a King who hoards wishes to make himself more powerful. It had the grounds to be a much better movie, it just didn't act on them very well

The diversity in this movie is genuinely good! We see various demographics of people - race, gender, physical build, disability, etc. - and there's not much "Disney same face syndrome" like we've gotten in other movies.

#out of the two wish-themed movies with harvey guillen in them... yeah no i'm just gonna watch puss in boots

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stargazer-sims · 1 year

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Tatsuya “Violet” Kanematsu (RSVP for @rebelangelsims)

Age: 23 (Young Adult in-game age)

Birthday: 8 April

Gender Identity: male

Pronouns: he/him

Sexuality: pansexual

From: Mt. Komorebi

Occupation: musician

Relationship Status: married

Favourite Colours: purple, red, black

ABOUT

Violet is the frontman (lead vocals, guitar) for the rock band Chasing Ghosts. The band consists of Violet, his spouse Rebel Saetang (keyboard, vocals) and husband-and-wife duo Emi Moriuchi (violin, vocals) and Kaito Moriuchi (drums). They’ve been enjoying quite a lot of success recently, with the release of their first English-language album, Haunted Hearts.

He loved music from an early age, and both he and his younger sister had voice lessons and instrument lessons (guitar for him, piano for her) when they were growing up. Violet first got the idea that he wanted to be in a band when he was in middle school. He was part of his school band, but he likes to say that doesn't really count, as the school orchestra wasn't exactly playing rock 'n roll. He started writing songs when he was in his early teens. Although he isn't the main songwriter for his current band, he still contributes.

Outside of music, Violet's interests include snowboarding, dancing and gardening. He's a cowplant enthusiast, and also enjoys helping take care of Rebel's bees.

Violet is definitely an extrovert. He's the complete opposite of his spouse, Rebel, who would rather not talk to anyone other than his family and friends. Violet, on the other hand, loves to go out and socialize and meet new people. Sometimes it seems to Rebel that Violet knows everyone in the Mt. Komorebi music scene.

He loves attention, and he likes to be seen at as many social functions as possible, which is a good thing because he's always getting invited to things (and dragging his reluctant spouse along).

Everyone calls him Violet, except for his parents and the government. There are people who know him who've actually forgotten that his real name is Tatsuya, and some people who may never have even known his legal first name.

———

Rebel Saetang

Age: 24 (Young Adult in-game age)

Birthday: 30 October

Gender Identity: male

Pronouns: he/him

Sexuality: homosexual

From: Brindleton Bay (currently: Mt. Komorebi)

Occupation: musician

Relationship Status: married

Favourite Colours: red, yellow, white

ABOUT

Rebel is the keyboardist and one of the vocalists of Chasing Ghosts. He's most noted for his keyboard solos, and for his amazing ability to harmonize. He is the band's main composer. He does write some lyrics as well, but he's much better at setting other people's lyrics to music.

"Rebel" is Rebel's real name, a fact which he has a love-hate relationship with. He likes the fact that his name is unique, but sometimes he wishes he didn't have to explain it to people when doing official transactions like credit card payments at hotels, or renewing his driving license. Rebel's mother, a Japanese-Canadian actress, was (and still is) somewhat of a rebel herself, and decided her only child needed a name to match their lifestyle. Rebel's dad is Thai, but that's all he really knows about him other than his surname (which Rebel inherited). As far as Rebel knows, his father has never been in his life, and his mother rarely talks about him.

He has a speech impairment that gets worse when he's stressed or nervous, and he's shy about speaking on stage or giving interviews because of it. He discovered at a young age that his stutter does not affect him when he sings and that it in fact seems to go away entirely when he's singing. He has a beautiful voice and loves to sing, and sometimes likes to say that he found his "real voice" through music. If he's upset, anxious or scared, sometimes he stops speaking altogether, because trying to get the words out is too frustrating for him and just upsets him more. He's been known to go into a quiet room with Violet and literally sing his problem (something he won't do with anyone else, not even Emi or Kaito).

In his spare time, Rebel likes gardening and he enjoys tending to his bees. He has a thing for dangerous pets, which is why he's okay with his spouse's cowplant obsession. Their garden is quite unusual, as they also have a few alien plants along with the cowplants and the bees. He also enjoys reading, and he loves to cook.

Rebel is an introvert, and would rather spend his time quietly at home when he's not performing. But, because his spouse is a social butterfly, he ends up at all sorts of functions that he'd never go to if it weren't for Violet. Violet seems to know everybody, and of course he has to introduce Rebel to everybody.

The paparazzi love Rebel because his looks are so striking. The love is not mutual.

#ts4 #sims 4 #eagames #snowy escape #chasing ghosts #Rebel Saetang #Violet Kanematsu #stargazersims

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mywifeleftme · 3 months

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325: The Go-Betweens // 16 Lovers Lane

16 Lovers Lane The Go-Betweens 1988, Mushroom

You don’t need to put a gun to my head: I’m a Robert Forster guy. Everyone agrees that Australian jangle pop legends the Go-Betweens had two first-class brilliant songwriters under their tent, but Grant McLennan tends to get the edge in most people’s books, even if they don’t exactly come out and say it. He had the sweeter voice and the more direct way with melody; wrote most of their best-known songs (“Cattle and Cane”; “Bachelor Kisses”; “Streets of Your Town”) and might have the higher overall batting average when it comes to quality; enjoyed the more consistent solo career; even died first. I love Grant! But I’ve always been more drawn to Robert’s wordy complications, his slightly dour, guarded stripes of shadow to Grant’s sunlight. Both very bright men gifted with an ear for melody, both serially doubtful in their lyrics, with McLennan I have the sense that he trusts himself to be guided by feel whereas Forster leads with his intelligence. Normally, the latter would be a minor indictment of an artist, but at Forster’s best the results are neither cold nor stiff. His songs have a complex character in the literary sense, made lively by their contradictions and keenly observed behaviours. When a pristine, jangling hook breaks through his typical reserve, it’s like he’s been moved to sincerity despite himself, and I’m moved in turn.

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On 16 Lovers Lane, their last album together before an 11-year hiatus, real-life circumstances conspired to cast each songwriter in their most representative mood. McLennan was in the midst of a relatively new relationship with violinist Amanda Brown, and there’s an impulsiveness to the way his songs document the highs and lows of romance, even as one senses all’s not entirely well under the hood. Meanwhile, Forster writes with the sobriety of hindsight as he grapples with the recent dissolution of his own partnership with drummer Lindy Morrison. (Bassist John Willsteed’s feelings about not having an on-stage date are unknown at this time.) This difference makes 16 Lovers Lane both a relationship record and a breakup record, each songwriter exploring love from his own side of the divide. Grant’s songs are all gems: “Love Goes On!,” “Quiet Heart,” and especially “Devil’s Eye” make the adult work of negotiating life with another person sound like something to dreamily twirl around the house to, while the saucy crazy chick sketch “Was There Anything I Could Do?” rivals the Smiths at their most revved up. His “Streets of Your Town,” the band’s closest thing to a hit, isn’t explicitly about love, but retains the bemused contrast between form and content that marks many of his 16 Lovers songs—the way it’s possible to experience happiness even as the future seems increasingly murky.

It’s Forster’s songs however that raise 16 Lovers Lane from another very good Go-Betweens record to the short list of my all-time favourite rock albums. What makes these songs so poignant is that, while Forster’s insights into his relationships are sensitive, empathetic, even wise, it’s also clear he’s in that daze of post-breakup delusion when you still love someone and aren’t yet ready to accept what “over” really means. I adore the surreal visual, from “Love is a Sign,” that marks his first words on the record: “I’m ten feet underwater / Standing in a sunken canoe / Looking up at the waterlilies / They’re green and violet-blue / Still the sun it finds / A place to light me.” Throughout the song he gently, charmingly acknowledges the real problems at hand, but all he has to offer is the fantasy that one day something will be different, that he’ll be different, and then things will be as they were. The chorus (“This is what I find / No matter what you say / No matter what you do / I want to be the one / And love is a sign”) can read as a declaration of unconditional love, but from another angle, it’s a blanket denial of the possibility that the other person might not be right for him.

Throughout the record, a lot of Forster’s most basic assertions can be immediately disproven. “You Can’t Say No Forever”: The public record shows she could!

“I’m Allright”: A cursory read of the song’s lyrics suggests otherwise!

On “Dive for Your Memory,” he closes the record by declaring:

“Now I dive black waters The waters of her dream Are black and forgetful I'd like to make them clean So when I hear you saying That we stood no chance I'll dive for your memory We stood that chance”

Not having been there, I can’t say whether he’s right or wrong. What happens in this life isn’t fated. But to me it smacks of a man standing at the last station before real acceptance, when you feel that before you can truly let go you must demand some dignity for what you had. It is too galling to endure thinking this relationship you poured your soul into was anything less than a vessel that deserved the commitment; that you squandered your best self on a fantasy. Therefore, it must’ve been a Great Romance, and you bend all of your creative powers to constructing it as such. After enough time has passed, this sort of emotional absolutism fades and you can live with how things really were. But in the moment, there is nothing more terrible to endure than the notion you are performing in a tragedy the other party perceives as a farce.

Despite all this baggage, the wonder is how Forster’s words nestle within absolutely pristine jangle pop songs, sparkly and spangly and crystalline and all the other words critics use to try to pull their sweetness from the air to the page. It was years before I really dug into what Forster was saying because of the way he says it, part Tom Verlaine, part Gene Clark. And, like McLennan with “Streets of Your Town,” he also takes one song off the Rumours beat to offer a more introspective number that both demonstrates his pure pop gifts and summarizes the outlook he brought to the sessions. “Clouds” feels like taking a much-needed walk to clear your head, to get back in touch with who you are at the root:

“Blue air I crave, blue air I breathe They once chopped my heart, The way you chop a tree Told to equate Achievement with pain I took their top prize And paid them back with rain Visions of blue, I’m angry, I’m wise, And you You’re under cloudy skies.”

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325/365

#the go betweens #robert forster #grant mclennan #australian music #brisbane #brisbane music #jangle pop #indie rock #singer songwriter #rumours #music review #vinyl record #'80s music

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breebers · 1 year

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AOTV Thoughts

Some thoughts on “All Of Those Voices” after last night’s screening. TLDR - I remain very fond of Louis , but I did not think this was a good documentary. I’m a new pandemic-era fan and just a lurker so no one will see this - it’s just to get thoughts out of my system (harhar).

My overall impression leaving the theatre was that the film was cliche, disjointed, and unsettlingly superficial considering the seriousness of the topics it tried to address. It had moments of charm - Oli was an unexpected highlight - but they felt like little treats. It didn’t say or do anything new for serious fans, just recycled narratives and footage we have mostly seen before. And because of the disjointedness, I think the general public would find it confusing. I don’t understand the audience, purpose, or timing for the release.

Performance Footage

The thing I found most confusing was the relative absence of great performance footage. Giving the timing of the doc’s release, I’d thought it was going to be a vehicle to sell concert tickets. But there’s actually relatively little footage of Louis singing for more than a few seconds at a time. And the hero moments that stuck out most, at least to me, were Little Black Dress and Night Changes (which is a bit ironic given the focus on him finding his solo voice), and COACOAC.

I assume this has something to do with Louis’ changing feelings about Walls, and the fact that he doesn’t really feel like it represents him as well as FITF, as he’s expressed in interviews. It’s disappointing, since that’s what I was looking forward to most! I thought they’d filmed the shows for the FITF release, but none of that made the movie either. :( Honestly, the IG reels throughout tour did a better job of making me want to go to a show.

Louis As Songwriter

I loved the moment where Louis talked about being proud of his 1D songwriting credits, but unfortunately that idea didn’t carry through to the rest of the movie.

Nothing about the process of writing Walls, which is maybe because his old narrative no longer works. But surprisingly very little about the writing of FITF either. No FITF songs mentioned by name other than BTM, which was only in a text overlay. Nothing about what the songs or the album mean to him, or even about the creative and collaborative process aside from when it was written logistically. He doesn’t even say “Faith In The Future” until the end credits, I think?

We got so much more on Louis as a songwriter in the album promo interviews - the doc is still very heavily focused on his anxiety around vocal performance, esp. with all the Helene. Which is interesting, of course, just a bit jarring given what he says about writing for 1D and what we’ve heard him say elsewhere.

On Loss and Grief

I have an enormous amount of empathy for what Louis and his family have gone through, and I truly admire his resilience. I found the deep love Louis has for his family and this part of his story moving, of course, but I also found it somewhat disconnected. Resilience is a useful trait, and moving on is healthy, but the impression from the movie is that that just happened by sheer force of will. And maybe it did, that seems very British! But I would have liked to have seen more about how Louis processed his grief, the support he received from people around him, whether it affected his songwriting and approach to his career. Structurally, lumping together the 1D breakup, deaths in his family and COVID as a series of obstacles to be overcome through perseverance alone just felt like it was a likely oversimplification.

On COVID

Again, this too felt like an obstacle identified and then not followed up with. I was really surprised that there wasn’t later discussion by Louis, the band or the fans interviewed that part of the magic of tour was being able to come together in-person again after lockdowns. This was certainly part of the joy for me as I watched lives all tour (my local show was maybe the only one that got cancelled and stayed cancelled.)

Fan Representation

This was very much my academic area in another life, so I could go for ages. But in short, I did appreciate that this was a much more positive representation of female-dominated fandom than we normally see. It was respectful and it celebrated fans and mostly took them seriously.

But it had a pretty narrow focus on a certain type of fan. Given the things Louis has said about his relationship with his fans elsewhere, I expected a deeper and more diverse look. I would have liked to hear from fans about what Louis’ music means to them, about growing up alongside him, about fan projects and communities and the experience of live music after years locked away. Instead it was just camping and getting as close to him as possible. (Props to the fan who wrote the essay to convince their mom to let them camp though - I used to use the same tactic!)

I get that it would be a lot of work to take a really deep look at fandom - and it would be tough to dodge the beautiful rainbow elephant in the room - but I think it was possible to do a bit more. Even just along the lines of what Louis often says in interviews.

Fatherhood

I’m agnostic about BBG. But even setting that aside, I was uncomfortable with this particular narrative thread. My own issues are obviously part of that - I was raised almost entirely by my mom, with an absent father who complained about not seeing enough of me and my siblings but showed no inclination towards actual parenting. It is very easy to seem like a good father flying a kite on a beach or goofing around backstage at your concert. It is much harder to actually do the work of raising a child.

The way the fatherhood narrative popped out of nowhere - you would think the child just materialized from thin air the way it’s framed - was very uncomfortable. The way the sharp contrast to the closeness Louis described with his mother who had an unplanned baby (and perhaps similar distance with his biological dad) went unacknowledged. The way he claims to see his child at every opportunity, but the second half of the film focuses on him having a blast travelling the world on a tour bus and makes zero reference to that being challenging from a parenting perspective. The overall impression is just the total absence of responsibility, like children are fun accessories to help you feel good about yourself at 1/80 concerts.

There were lots of “aww”s at my screening, and I guess those folks just don’t have daddy issues? I can’t speak to Louis’ actual reality as a father (or lack thereof), but the way it was presented in the movie, at least, was such cheesy “rich, absent dad who doesn’t get it” cliche. It felt like a weird choice for someone who has said he wants to be so private.

The Voiceover

This is a very specific thing, but I really didn’t like the explanatory narrative Louis did throughout the whole thing, filmed in the studio. It felt scripted and impersonal and all at the same emotional level. I would have preferred if there had been multiple interviews over the course of the years they were filming, for some variety and progression over time. It really sucked a lot of the emotion and vulnerability out of things.

What Might’ve Been

The frustrating thing about all this is there are like, four different and very good possible documentaries within AOTV. But it feels like instead of doing any one thing properly, they tried to do everything and in a rush.

It could have been a beautiful film about his personal losses and how he’s recovered and grown from them, but it would have had to show more of that process.

It could have been a really fun tour documentary - the backstage stuff with the band was a highlight, but it would have had to included way more performance footage.

It could have been a cool narrative about the buildup to FITF but would have needed to include more of his songwriting process, what the songs mean, and the album release shows.

It could have been about his relationship with fans, but would have required more extensive and thoughtful interviews, with a more diverse group.

Instead, it tried to do all those things, but each at a surface level, and ended up unsatisfying and confusing. It felt like they didn’t have a plan going in, and sort of just scrambled stuff together as best they could with the footage they had. Which I think is a real shame because Louis deserves the chance to tell his story. I just don’t think this documentary did that effectively.

Why did this happen? Maybe it was his changing relationship to Walls and the awkwardness of overlapping albums. Maybe it was scheduling and deadlines and COVID. Maybe he can’t tell his full story and there’s just no way to disguise that without it feeling awkward. Maybe Louis just doesn’t understand his own fanbase very well, or he’s trying to change that fanbase. Maybe it’s just bad story structure. Whatever the reason, it’s a big missed opportunity and I am sad.

#all of those voices #aotv spoilers #aotv documentary #this is so long sorry to anyone who accidentally reads it #deliberately withholding my larrie thoughts #now can i stop thinking about this #I really really wanted more performance footage #aotv

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