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lipstickbisous · 4 years

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the rei brown series (2/3)

OUR LOVE REMAINS.

notes: here’s the second part!! one more after this haha. not much of a plot to these just meant to put you in your feels. butttttt, i did write this from the experience my mom had in the icu when she was a nurse.

this one is your p.o.v. and is a little bit longer but not much

i DID NOT KNOW if anyone would get offended by “latino” or “hispanic” so i used both im sorry.

LISTEN for better understanding.

also u guys REALLY LIKED the din fic so i guess...more of those?

pairing: javier peña x reader

summary: while rethinking all of the choices you’ve made in your life, memories of a certain person begin to flood in.

warnings: MORE ANGST ahahaha, childhood nostalgia, fluff ending

word count: 3.3k (these are not long chapters)

masterlist

you weren’t sure what time it was (you knew it wasn’t too late) and you hadn’t bothered to check as you stumbled through your doorway, one arm holding grocery bags and the other, your purse and papers from work. your hair had been stuck in the ponytail you threw it up in since the morning, but now, it was pulling at your scalp and giving you a headache.

managing to balance on one foot, you flipped the light switch in your entryway and watched as the first floor of your house illuminated in the night. the tiny dog you’d adopted a few months ago came padding out on the wood floors from the dining room, his tongue stuck out with loud pants to relieve himself of the texas summer heat.

with a small “hey, bub,” to your pet, you placed the groceries on the kitchen counter and slipped off your clogs, throwing them at the bottom of your stairs so that you could be reminded to take them to your room when you went upstairs. for now, you reached into the glass cabinet and grasped a dark bottle of wine. the label read a fancy word in french, but growing up in kingsville, you’d never bothered to learn the language of love. you grew up in that rich latino and hispanic culture.

this house had memories threatening to let it crumble, you knew that, but even after your parents had moved into a smaller apartment due to medical reasons and the fact that they couldn’t afford the house, you couldn’t bring yourself to move out of this town and just ditch them there--now the house was in your name. you didn’t know why it was so hard to leave--you’d been able to leave for university, but when you came back the summer after you’d graduated, something stuck. now, it had been twenty years and you had made no attempts to even leave kingsville.

you popped the cork of the wine bottle open and instantly met that musky historic smell of the red alcohol. you had seven wine glasses in your cupboards, but you never had any friends over. you might occasionally invite a few girls you knew in high school, but if you were to hang out with people, it would be at a bar on friday and saturday nights. you watched as the wine splashed around the glass and when it was filled to your satisfaction, you pushed the cork back into its place and left the bottle on the counter.

as you made your way into the living room and collapsed on the couch, the little dog you called yours jumped up onto the high furniture the best he could due to his tiny legs. you searched your couch for the remote, pulling over the cushions and pillows before finding it buried under the arm. you switched the tv on and and flipped through the channels before settling on fifty-one. your dog curled up next to your lap and closed his eyes to sleep.

you didn’t for what you were sure was the next two hours. the movie that had been playing before ended the beginning of a new one had started until you realized your glass was empty and dry and your eyelids were getting heavier. you leaned your head back before rethinking how the day had gone. you’d shown up to the hospital for work at the crack of dawn and spent the next twelve hours wheeling around patients, taking diagnostics, and carrying their dirty dishes.

it definitely had not been the job you imagined when you were ten. you’d played doctor with your stuffed animals and plushes before but in those scenarios, the patients had been obedient in kind. unfortunately, fate had not been so kind and, while sitting in front of the television with an empty wine glass in your hand, your fingers grazing over the sore spot on your wrist. it was sure to be bruised, the one on your calf had turned purple and yellow in the past few days. you hissed when you applied just a bit too much pressure.

i spent four years at a college i hated to have this. you’d put it all on the line to have this job. you thought that by being a nurse in the fucking icu, you’d be saving people everyday. instead, you were groped, spat out, and ignored by everyone there. you deserved a glass of wine every night.

you knew that this was not healthy at all and that you were intoxicating yourself with far too much alcohol but the way your back ached, your calf bruised, and your head pounded drowned out whatever warnings your brain sent you.

suddenly, you managed to catch sight of the atomic clock sitting on your kitchen counter. bright crimson letters read “1:30 am.”, and with a far too heavy sigh that awoke the small dog next to you, you set the glass on your coffee table (you’d grab it in the morning when you weren’t so sad) and flipped the tv off before sauntering up the stairs. even at your age, you had still been terrified of the dark--you could barely walk down to your basement without a flashlight and by yourself--but you found that you were perfectly fine walking in the pitch-black of your upstairs hallway. your dog was quick to follow behind you, jumping onto your bed and waiting for you as you emotionlessly entered your bathroom and looked at your reflection.

who the fuck were you? how much time had passed and yet here you were, in your fucking childhood home all alone? you’d found love with many men over the years, but you hadn’t expected them to last--and they hadn’t. what had you done? had you left some sort of imprint in the world at all? you were never one for kids, everyone you knew was well aware of that, but how were you supposed to live on even when you were dead? in reality, abandonment and loneliness was your worst fear along with--

oh god, you thought in a shriveled voice. you’re gonna be forgotten.

one part that hurt the most was the news. you’d gotten better at keeping up to date with pop culture and politics, and the pablo escobar situation had you worried for one reason and one reason only--javier peña. you’d seen him on the news, the DEA agent who had made it his responsibility and top priority to catch the famous drug lord. it was nice to see that he had gotten somewhere while the only time you’d ever really traveled was to paris for a christmas and then LA to see an old friend who you didn’t even talk to anymore.

this was your life now. mindlessly wandering around your house after work, eating microwaved leftovers and carry-out from the diner.

god, that diner. it had been one of your favorite locations in the shitty town you called home--had been. the first time you went, you were suspicious due to the fact that the actual building was a different restaurant owned by a criminal before it was a diner, but javier had practically begged you to have a late dinner with him after an afternoon spent skipping your last few periods and driving around the outskirts of town in his truck. the wind had been blowing through your hair and you hung your head out of his window, letting your arms wave around, and you could’ve sworn you had felt him looking at you.

that was the moment you were in love with javier peña.

you knew that you had been lying to yourself up until that moment because since the first day you met javier when driving past their ranch and stopping to look at the horses, you’d been in love. you couldn’t even think about how many days were spent writing poetry about him that now seemed stupid and childish. you’d told yourself it was an outlet for your feelings, but you had really written it because you were too much of a bitch to come out and tell javi. maybe that hadn’t been your fault--you’d witnessed, first hand, javier rejecting a girl in sixth grade. you watched her nod and tell him “oh, that’s okay” but then run away into the bathrooms. javier had continued on to tell you about a new foal on their farm.

you remembered the horses. you missed them too. if it hadn’t been them roaming about in the pastures, or the great stallion that caught your attention while on that family car ride, you would’ve never met javier. you weren’t sure if he judged you for it or not, but every time chucho needed help around the farm, and javier was too much of a brat and a teenager to do it, you had gladly offered. so, chucho peña had put you in charge of the foals. there was one in particular, a small one with a white coat, that had piqued your interest. there was a day, one in the middle of the summer if you could remember correctly, where you and javi had just run out to the fields while the rest of the horses stayed in their stables. javi had been excited since his father had gifted him with a new camera, and he had spent all day taking pictures of--and to this day, you still didn’t notice it--only you.

while brushing your teeth, carefully placing a small dot of paste on your toothbrush, you began to scrub in small circles. how long had it been since you and javi had last talked? even then, it had barely been a conversation. a simple exchanged of very few words, a goodbye that went misheard, and that was it. when you had called his home phone the next morning, instead of javi replying like he always did, it had been chucho’s voice instead, muffling an annoyed “hello?” but when he heard the exhaustion and lightness of your voice, he carefully explained that javi had already left.

you hadn’t felt heartbroken--not at first. in fact, there was barely any sadness in that tired head and upset stomach. you were infuriated. how could he? how dare he? he had been such a coward that he couldn’t even say goodbye and it angered you more than you thought it ever would--not that you had ever thought about javier leaving before because he said he wouldn’t even consider it. and now, he had left you alone your fucked up hometown that you’d always told him you hated so much. then, about three days alone without javier (which was something you weren’t used to) you’d realized that there was a large possibility this could’ve been your fault.

had you been a bad friend recent to his leaving? yes, you had been acting distant, but it was due to normal events, such as school and...the fact that you were hopelessly in love with him. it had been harder to talk with senior year ending and college coming up, but you hadn’t never thought he could just turn himself away like that. never.

and not once had javi tried to contact you. he, of course, knew your number by heart, but after all these years, he’d probably had hundreds of girls phone numbers--in fact, you were sure that if hadn’t been a DEA agent hooked with the most dangerous man on the earth, you would’ve expected him to be married already. you had gone to the wedding. you’d seen how the church was decorated, how each and every guest wore plastered smiles--just the idea of seeing javi made you giddy and you’d worn your best dress you could find. even after returning from university, javier didn’t visit or call. you also remembered hearing lorraine sobbing when her groom didn’t show.

javier was not the type of person to stand someone up. you didn’t know what he was like now, but as teenagers, if he ever had a date (which wasn’t often because even if you didn’t know it, he was hopelessly in love with you) he would arrive five minutes early.

the one time javi did have a date, you stayed home and watched one of his favorite movies while crying. you hated to admit that the next day, when he admitted to you he didn’t like the girl that much, you were excited.

suddenly, you remembered how this was completely your fault. you had always blamed javier for never calling or writing, but then you realized that you had never made the attempt either.

“fuckin’ hell,” you whispered and washed off your toothbrush. as a nurse, you didn’t normally cake yourself with makeup, but you did wear the average concealer, mascara, and lipstick or gloss. you took one look at your reflection and noticed that your mascara was currently running. when did i cry? you asked yourself and exited the bathroom, not bothering to remove your makeup.

your room was next door and when you walked inside, your dog was patiently waiting next to your nightstand and- god, did i leave the fucking light on again? you felt like slapping yourself until your head was straight because it wasn’t right to think about someone you haven’t seen in twenty years.

you slipped off your pants, leaving you in expensive panties you’d gotten for no reason at all. you threw off your scrubs, discarding them onto the floor with a light air sound and replacing your shirt with a tank-top. your bed had been so perfectly made that it almost annoyed you. you threw yourself onto your bed and began to rub your eyes. it wouldn’t matter if you messed up the mascara because there was nothing to mess up.

hoping the sleep would rid you of the horrible thoughts, you flipped the lamp next to your bed off and pressed a pillow to your cheek. the small dog at your feet curled up rested his eyes. you did the same.

it would’ve been physically best for your health if you had gone at least six hours of sleeping without any interruption, but one moment in the night, the phone on your nightstand began to blare its ringtone. your eyes shot open and began to burn slightly from a sudden awakening. the sound had scared your dog, who jumped to the ground in protection of whatever the source was until he realized it was the telephone. you groaned with heavy eyelids and looked to the clock. two-twenty five am. as soon as you went to answer the call, it went to dial tone.

more frustrated than before because you really just wanted to sleep, you groaned and flung yourself back into bed. of course, now you were awake.

but then, the phone began to ring again. it had seemed louder this time and your dog barked in the most un-intimidating way possible before you threw a pillow at the spot next to him to get him quiet. you held the phone close to your ear and spoke a tired, “hello?” the line was silent and at first, you were terrified because you could’ve sworn you heard someone breathing. another one of these. “hello?”

part of this was exciting to you. while it was extremely frustrating to be awoken a few hours before you normally rose to get ready for work, your mind was racing during the silent pause between you and this stranger. who could it be? perhaps it was chucho telling you that javier could be coming home, but you cursed yourself for thinking of that man and dismissed the idea. maybe it was your mom calling to tell you how your father had gotten better and, for now at least, the cancer was gone.

“(y/n)?”

―

while the reason behind it remained unclear, you had always loved airports. the cleaning-product smell, the diverse people, the small restaurants, even the feeling of the carpet--or the feeling of that when in an airport, you were going somewhere.

it had always been about going somewhere. javier knew this since fifth grade, that you had always wanted to just leave kingsville, texas. maybe you would move to new york, or philadelphia, or even go to london and paris. they had been silly daydreams due to reading too many of your mother’s travel books, but paris had always looked so nice. maybe even visit mexico--you’d already been well immersed in the culture.

but that wasn’t why you were here. you were here for something that was long overdue.

after the phone call that night, you javier had made sure to call each other every other day at ten o’clock pm. there had been some days where you had to stay late at the hospital or javi was chasing sicarios and didn’t get home until midnight--those nights, you would either fall asleep or just call the next day, but you both had made a good schedule. it definitely hadn’t been the same as when you were teenagers, and you didn’t expect it to be. his voice was much deeper and raspier (you knew it was because of the cigarettes, you could practically smell them through the phone) and his voice wasn’t as...lively anymore. you felt that you couldn’t say much, though, because the years had been rough to you as well.

he had told you everything. your thoughts on how he was living was wrong--he told you of the countless informants and prostitutes, how the colombian sun was definitely hotter than the texan sun and even to him it had made a difference. when you both had too much to drink and were passing back funny stories, his was that he had grown a mustache. you had laughed at that one because if you could imagine the clean-shaved, teenage boy that javier once was with a mustache, it was a hilarious thought.

all-in-all, it had still been painful to talk to someone you knew so well like they were a stranger. at first, you had asked yourself if he’d changed but you caught yourself in the stupid thought. of course, he had changed. it had been twenty fucking years and even you had noticed the faint lines starting to appear around your face.

it had taken almost half a year of phone calls, missed and attended, happy and sad to be where you were now.

the airport bustling had also been one of your favorite things too. the countless and various voices all coming together to make a white noise that was so distinct.

you were standing near the entrance, watching as families reunited, lovers embraced, and yet you stood alone. it had been over ten minutes since when javier was supposed to show. if you were being honest with yourself, what did you expect? he would just appear out of thin air in the middle of a crowd? you hoped the flight from bogotá had been peaceful and well. there hadn’t been any storms passing by, baggage loading problems, or anything that could possibly delay the plane, so there was no reason for javier not to be there.

unless...you began to think and it had been too late to stop yourself from completing the thought. maybe he just didn’t want to.

like when he rejected that girl in sixth grade. like when he left you alone in kingsville. like when abandoned his bride at their own fucking wedding.

suddenly, you felt angry. your blood was boiling, your hands felt hot, the hair on your neck became irritating, and the winter heat of texas began to scorch, even in air conditioning. you ran a hand down your face, feeling two beads of sweat trickle down a path to your chin. your foot, which had been tapping for the past now fifteen minutes turned on its heel as you made your way to the glass doors.

your car was just outside. you wouldn’t even have to walk that far, and then you could drive home, cry yourself to sleep, and call javier about this some other time.

“(y/n)!”

tags: @pascalisthepunkest @javierpenaspinkshirt @gummiishark @cyarikaaa @larakasser @pedropasscals @honeyedspace @talesfromtheguild @absurdthirst

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duhliriouss · 4 years

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Gotham’s Little Prince:

Part One

A Request For: @jokers-doll Here you go Doll, I hope you like this first part :)

Summary: Y/N finds out she’s pregnant with Joker’s baby. Terrified of how he will react, she hides the evidence until she can muster up the courage to tell him.

A/N: Buckle up because this is more than just a story of reader telling Joker she’s pregnant. There’s aftermath, protection and a beautiful birth❣️this was supposed to be a one shot but I got carried away like always 🖤

Beta Reader: @arthur-flecks-lovely-smile thank you again! Im so glad I found you ❣️ The perfect Beta Reader. Everyone should check out her work too, it’s amazing and it inspires me :)

Word Count: 2,934

Warnings: Mentions of Sex, Swearing, Pregnancy, Mentions of Violence

You were tired, exhausted actually. After Joker had overthrown Gotham, you have both worked tirelessly day in and day out to get where you have gotten in this very moment.

And there you were - standing outside on the balcony of Wayne’s Manor, with your hands on the railings looking out over the trees at the cities buildings that stood tall in the distance. Even though it was right outside the city, it was the perfect place for a king and his queen. This is where you and Joker lived now after hearing of the Wayne families death, and a luxury it was. How ironic it had been that you both had everything you could possibly ever dream of; a warm bath in a marble tub that blended with the white marble floors, grapes picked right off the vine for you and Joker to share after a long day, aged wine worth hundreds, a magnificent California king size bed with a canopy of dark red drapes cascading down the frames. Everything, everything except the daily doses of Gotham’s chaos. It was too peaceful here for you and your king sometimes.

So that is why you stood where you were in this moment, Joker and Your’s favorite spot, the only spot in the manor to be able to still see the tall structures as they inundated with the smoke that rose from Gotham’s streets.

You usually accompanied Joker during his daily tasks and crimes. He’s been a busy man since this all started, usually making sure his followers were keeping guard around the entire city’s borders.

No one comes in... and nobody leaves.

But you have stayed behind this past week and a half, you weren’t feeling well. You blamed it on your upcoming period since you tended to belong to the unlucky kind of woman who couldn’t even get out of bed during their cycle. Though your period never came, and you have grown worried. Joker has been very stressed recently so you haven’t dared to talk to him about your own distresses and concerns.

It was unlike you to keep things from Joker. You first met when you were walking home from work one day. You saw a clown dancing happily to piano music on the street with a sign reading “EVERYTHING MUST GO”. You watched him as you came closer only to find a group of punks stealing his sign and running away with it. You quickened your steps and followed as the clown chased after the teenagers. After a couple blocks you thought you had lost sight of his bright colored getup. Ready to give up, you went to turn around until you saw him laying almost lifeless down the ally in front of you. You saw no sight of the punks so you started to run until you were close enough to kneel down by the clown. You helped him up and brushed off the asphalt that stuck to his clothes.... and the rest has been history.

You sighed deeply, still flicking your (y/e/c) eyes to the buildings in the distance. You held your tummy as your mind rambled anxiously. You knew it was possible you could be pregnant. Joker wasn’t one to care for protection or pulling out. And neither were you for that matter. The sensation was just too staggering to give a shit. You were both so impulsive, you were perfect for each other.

As you looked out your mind continued to ramble with thought after thought. Joker was out there in between those buildings somewhere. You were planning on going out to get a pregnancy test without being seen by anybody. This would be a difficult task since everyone knew who you were, everyone knew you were Joker’s Queen.

You took one last sigh before turning on your heels to go back inside. You scurried down the hallways and corridors to your bedroom to change your clothes into something that would make you less noticeable. After a couple minutes of searching you found a oversized black coat that had probably belonged to Thomas Wayne. You also picked out some black jeans you owned. You quickly got dressed and took a look in the mirror, taking your (y/h/c) hair and pulling it behind your head to tuck it in the back of the coat. You then reached over and grabbed a clown mask, setting it over your face before pulling up the hoodie over your head. You felt confident that you could get away with this look and blend in.

And with that you were off, leaving the building with ease without being seen by any of the “guards” that Joker had stationed around your new home. You were allowed to leave whenever you wanted but you didn’t want to chance any of them telling Joker you had left. You had imagined beforehand what it would be like; Coming home early only to find one of his henchman tattling to him before he could even reach the main doors. Revealing to him how you were spotted leaving, without a return. You knew he would be very concerned for your wellbeing. You’d rather just come clean now than have to make Joker go through such affliction.

Your walk was longer than usual since you stayed in the shadows. You took allies that weren’t occupied and kept your head down as protesters and rallies passed. You entered the first convenient store you saw. You didn’t have to buy anything right now In this city as the mayhem was at its peak recently. No one was working since it was too dangerous. Almost all stores had smashes in the window and most people looted as they pleased. You walked straight in through the window and found the feminine section fairly quickly. You took what you needed and left and fast as you came.

You were home safe without being noticed by a soul. You peeled the clothes off putting them back where you found it and changed back into your dark blue polka dot flare dress. You walked straight to a bathroom that usually wasn’t used by Joker and Yourself. You lifted your dress and sat down, staring down at the box that contained the test. You felt unsure now.

Did you really want to know right now? What if it’s positive? How will your beloved Joker react?

Your heart started to pound in your ears as these new thoughts rose throughout you. You couldn’t see this being a positive outcome. You really didn’t want to see Joker mad. He was so unpredictable with his emotions that sometimes you didn’t even know if you knew him. He’s not Arthur anymore. However, Joker was still very tender towards you. Warm and gentle for the most part. But you also knew certain things caused him to lash out. You actually loved how unpredictable he was at times. It made everything new and exciting. But right now you were seeing how this could be a not so great and not so thrilling thing.

You were feeling dizzy now. Your mind going a mile a minute, you tried to get your breathing under control.

“You can do this. Joker will still love you no matter what. Just take the test.” You consoled softly to yourself.

You took a few more deep breaths before opening the box. 1980’s pregnancy tests were test tubes that took 2 hours before showing results. So you were in for a very tense wait. And a nervous one at that since you were never sure when Joker was going to be home. You did everything you were supposed to do. You shook the urine in the test tube and placed it behind the toilet on the floor for no one to see. You took the box and crinkled it up inside out, discarding it deep in the trash. Now all there was to do was wait. And it WAS a very tense wait. You made a mental note to keep your eye on the clock for when it was ready to check.

You tried to keep your mind off of it by watching tv, a fail. You paced the halls over and over with your hands clenched behind your back. You even went outside to get fresh air and smell the roses that had begun to wilt outside. You were running out of ideas to ease this edge. And oh so badly did you need a cigarette right now. You usually smoked almost as much as Joker but you haven’t dared the past few days. Joker actually noticed this the other day and questioned you to see if everything was alright. Only then did you stutter out an excuse by saying your throat was scratchy and it made it worse. And what a stupid excuse it was, initiating your guilt as he ran to make you herbal tea with tender kisses for the rest of the night.

You went back inside to check the clock.

30 minutes left

With a impatient huff, you went to go try and watch tv again In the bedroom. You walked down the hallway for what seemed like the 80th time today and turned to step into the bedroom. You gasped, jumping backward when you saw that Joker was standing right there. He saw that he’d startled you. He reached his arms out for you, a smirk evidently written on his face.

“My sweet darling girl, how I’ve missed you today”

You straightened yourself out and smiled sheepishly. He always made you a blushing mess. You skipped over and let yourself fall into his arms. He instantly scooped you up with ease, making you instinctively wrap your legs around him and letting your head fall over his shoulder. He wasn’t much taller than you but he still always managed to hold and carry you comfortably.

“I’ve missed you too. And you’re home so early.” You tried to hide the nervousness in your voice.

He started to draw circles on your back as he spoke. “A clown can only do so much crime my love. Besides, I thought I’d surprise you with something tonight since you haven’t been feeling well.” His voice cracked huskily.

Your body sunk heavier into him. You didn’t know your guilt could make you feel this culpable. You leaned back to look in Joker’s green orbs as he held you, putting on your best fake smile.

“What is it?”

“Stay here doll while I go get it for you, I left it in the kitchens”

Joker placed you down gently and began to make his way out the door, stopping at the door frame. He kept his gaze forward as he spoke. “Don’t move a muscle, I know how sneaky you can be, my little squirrel”

You smiled sheepishly one last time until he was out of site. Joker knew you all too well, seeing how you poked your head around the doorframe until he was out of site again. You were confident you had enough time to race down back to the bathrooms and check on your fate. The bathrooms were much closer than the kitchens. You couldn’t wait any longer. You took your first sharp right turn down another coordinator, making your way to the end before taking another sharp right which led off to the bathroom. As you took your last turn you stopped in your tracks instantly as you saw Joker standing right outside the bathroom doors talking to one of his female followers that helped keep guard around the building. You hid yourself around the corner and poked your head out slightly to listen. They didn’t notice you.

“Why are you showing me this? I don’t even know what that is”

“It’s a pregnancy test Sir, I don’t know who’s it is but it’s positive, just figured I’d show you before tossing it out”

You leaned your back fully against the wall around the corner now. Your hands found your mouth to muffle your sobs as tears poured down your cheeks. Not only did you just find out you were pregnant, but this was also not the way you wanted your Joker to find out. How was he going to react now, Keeping it from him like that?

Will he even still love me? he’s THE Joker. The infamous man that’s killed multiple under his own will. Why would a man like him want a baby with someone like me? Especially in such a disorderly world that we have created together. He’s going to make me leave this place. Probably force me to move somewhere else far away to somewhere safer. I’ll never see him again!

Your eyes were scrunched tightly closed. You let your hair fall messily around your face as you continued to muffle your sobs with your hands. You were so caught up in the shock you didn’t think to run away. And you didn’t notice Joker was standing right in front of you now.

“Y/N...”

Your breath caught in your throat. You slowly started to take your hands away from your mouth. You kept your head down with your arms stick straight by your sides, your hands balled up in little fists. You peaked your eyes up to look your destiny in the face. Your eyes began to dart around his face, desperate to find any emotion apparent on his features. But... nothing. You couldn’t see any emotion. His red painted lips displayed a thin line. His eyes showed emptiness, not even the green in his irises were visible.

Joker watched your eyes dart around him desperately. He knew it was your test. Why else would you be hiding around the corner in a complete dismantled mess? He cleared his throat and tried one more time.

“Y/N, answer me”

You finally let go and burst into tears. Covering your whole face with your hands and sobbing as you pleaded. “I’m so sorry!! I didn’t know either and I was just coming to check. I promise I was going to tell you today! I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you. I’m so sorry I left this place by myself and stole the test without telling you! I know I should have told you my worries sooner but... you’ve just been so stressed recently and so busy I didn’t want to bother you or stress you more. Please forgive me Joker! Please don’t make me leave this city! I love it too much now! I’m so sorry, I didn’t know what to do”

Your head stayed down as you sobbed and hyperventilated between each sentence as you cluttered. Joker watched you with his lips slightly parted without interrupting your break down. After you were finished, you continued to breath heavy and brought your hands up to wipe your tears with your balled fists. A couple seconds had passed without hearing a response from him, which caused you look up to see if he was even still there.

He was, but his features still looked emotionless to you. Maybe a little bit shocked? You opened up your mouth to speak again but was stopped short when Joker’s laughs began to fill the corridor, echoing down the halls. His face showed a semi wide grin as he laughed louder, placing his hand on his chest. He didn’t look mad, he also didn’t seem very sympathetic to you in this moment either. And it definitely wasn’t a laughing attack. It sounded like his real, true laugh. They started to die down into giggles as he wiped the tears from his face. This all hit you hard in the chest.

“I think I’ll go no—“

You were interrupted as Joker scooped you up in an immense hug. Swirling you around a couple times before stopping to sway you back and forth, drawing circles on your back like he did in your bedroom.

“My dear Y/N...You really are a sneaky little squirrel”

You couldn’t speak. Your mind bounced around to what the hell was going on. You felt comforted however as he held and swayed you before bringing his head back to look at you. None of this was what you were expecting.

“Look at me.” His voice was calm

You leaned back as he did and looked into eyes. You could see his green oceans now. And you could still see the tears in his eyes from laughing.

“My little squirrel, do you see these tears?”

“Yes...”

“They’re tears of joy darling, I would never be angry over something like this”

“Y-you’re really not mad?” You stuttered through your new found tears.

“Of course not.” He cooed in his high pitched voice. He began to walk forward until your back was against the cool wall, leveraging you as he still held you to free one of his hands, gently placing it over your tummy as he spoke more. “I put a prince in your belly”. He said it in a British accent, causing you to giggle.

“How do you know? It could be a princess!”

“I just have a feeling. But we shall see darling”

You couldn’t stop smiling now. And neither could joker. You started to feel a little silly for being so worried in the first place. You both cried happily as you brought your head into his chest, taking in his scent that smelled like cigarettes, mint, and blood. Joker took his hand off your tummy and brought you closer, placing his hand in your hair now to slightly stroke the (y/h/c) strands.

“Is that why you haven’t been smoking?”

“Yeah..” you replied innocently

“So sneaky...”

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samsonet · 4 years

Text

Mum said we have to play outside

Sequel to Mum said it’s my turn on the Switch.

He wants to show Hop around Wyndon.

Going out in public takes preparation, though. When fans see Champion Leon, they rush to him, and they’re not always socially appropriate, either. He does not want to risk exposing Hop to any of the particular touchy ones.

So he’s not wearing his uniform today. Instead, he picks a black sweatshirt and trousers. He can’t keep his hair loose, so he ties it in a bun to hide its length. He can’t wear the crown snapback, so he’ll have to go bare-headed —

Oh, who is he kidding. He picks a different cap — this one white — and puts it on.

He steps into the living room, setting the champion cap on his brother’s head. “Hey. Have you ever been on a monorail?”

It turns out Hop expects the monorail to be just like the train from Wedgehurst. He gasps in surprise when the car rises and the city comes into view below them, and Leon has to laugh.

Hop’s sitting backwards, face almost pressed to the window. Leon is too big for that, so he’s sort of twisted halfway so he can watch the scenery and keep an eye on the digital display. It’s his job to make sure they stay in the safe side of the city, after all.

“Lee?”

“Yeah?”

“You really live here?”

“Hop, we literally just left my flat.”

“But how do you not get lost?”

“Oh, come on! I’m not that hopeless.”

The car passes over the dead-end street that Leon often finds himself in.

“...Charizard usually gets me where I need to go.”

Hop laughs, fogging up the glass.

As the rail goes, Leon points out landmarks. There’s the Hondew Building, there’s Sleet Street, there’s Rose Tower. And there…

“The stadium! That’s the stadium! You battle there, right?”

“Yep!”

“We gotta go see it!”

Leon forces a smile. He knew Hop would be excited to see Wyndon stadium for himself, but he had been hoping he could avoid actually going there. This was supposed to be a day off; he didn’t want to spend it at his workplace.

But Hop is giving him those big pleading eyes…

“Okay. We have to get off in three stops, then. Pay attention or we’ll miss it.”

Three stops later, Hop grabs his hand and pulls him out.

Leon spends the walk thinking about how he wants to play this. The public isn’t allowed to enter the stadium when there’s no match, and he’s not sure he wants to use his position to bend the rules. On the other hand, Hop did come all the way out here, and he should probably get to see something that most fans can’t.

Would bringing him into the locker room be cool enough? He could get to experience what Leon does before a match, sit on the benches, maybe let Wooloo out to chew on things.

But as they enter the stadium, Hop doesn’t ask about any of that. Instead, he heads right into the gift shop.

Why? He has to know that Leon would give him any merch he wanted, if he asked.

Leon follows, curious, until Hop turns around and holds up a hand. “I don’t want you to see this. It’s a secret.”

“...okay, then.”

He stands by the doorway, pretending to look at his phone. Hop disappears behind the racks.

Minutes pass. A staff member comes up and asks if he needs help, but when they recognize him, they apologize and back off.

It’s incredibly awkward, but he supposed that’s just what happens when you’re the older brother of a tween.

“Hey! Give him back!”

That’s Hop’s voice. It strikes Leon like a knife to the chest.

“‘ey,” an older boy’s voice mocks. “Gib ‘im back!”

Leon rushes toward the voices.

He finds them in the back, by a rack of posters. Hop has his fists curled and his face scrunched, like he’s about to cry. There are two teenage boys standing in front of him. One of them is holding a pokeball just out of Hop’s reach.

“You’re the one who dropped the ball, mate. If you want your Wooloo back, you gotta ask nicely.”

“I — I — please, give me back my Pokémon.”

The other boy laughs. “Dude. He looks so much like Leon.”

“He does! Do you think Leon looks like this when he begs?”

“At least Leon can talk right, though. But hey, you’re cute, too, kid.”

Alright, that’s enough.

Leon steps forward, plucking Wooloo’s ball out of the boy’s hand. He hands it to Hop, putting an arm around his shoulder.

“You okay?”

“Y-yeah, I’m fine…”

“Good.” He turns to the boys, glaring at them. “You two had better go. Now. And don’t come back.”

They stare at him. Leon can pinpoint the moment where they put two and two together and realize that the reason “this kid” looks so much like Leon is because he’s Leon’s little brother.

“Oh shit.”

And they run like hell.

“I’m sorry about that, Hop,” he says. “Most people here are nice, I promise. I’m sorry about the bad ones.”

Hop holds his Wooloo close to his heart. “Thanks for helping me, Lee.”

“Of course! That’s what big brothers are for, right?” He glances at the rack, noting that a couple tubes have been half-pulled out. “Now. You wanted to get something, right? Is it okay if I help you look for it?”

“Yeah… I wanted… I wanted to find a poster for number twenty-one.”

Twenty-one? Who would that be… Raihan is number 241, but if he’s who Hop meant, he would’ve just called him by name. And there aren’t any major leaguers who have two-digit uniform numbers...

“Um… who’s number twenty-one?”

“Soledad. From the minor league.”

“Ah.” Soledad is… a normal-type specialist, if he remembers right. “You’re a fan of her, then?”

“Gloria is.”

“Ooooh.” He wiggles his eyebrows, letting the motion do the teasing.

“Lee!”

“Sorry! You’re so cute.”

With that, he starts searching methodically. The minor league is nowhere near as popular as the majors, but there’s gotta be some merch for them…

As it turns out, there is one singular poster with the number 21 on it. Hop smiles when he finds it, the trouble from earlier seemingly forgotten.

“How much is it?” Leon asks, pulling out his wallet.

“It’s okay. I’m gonna pay for it myself.”

“You have money?”

“Mum gave me some on my birthday.”

Hop’s birthday was months ago. Had he been saving it all this time, for this?

“Alright, I’m impressed. Go buy your friend her present. I’m sure she’ll love it.”

Hop does not ask to walk on the pitch. He’s not even interested in checking out the locker room. Instead, he darts about the lobby, taking deep breaths like the air itself is different. He reads every sign, looks at every screen.

Leon walks behind him, carrying the bag with the poster.

Eventually, his brother returns to his side. “I’m hungry.”

“Hello, Hungry. I’m Leon.”

Hop makes a noise that can only be described as verbal keysmashing.

“Ha! Sorry, sorry! Come on, let’s get something to eat. I know a place. Here, pull up ‘Z-Noodles’ on your phone.”

Z-Noodles is theoretically a fifteen-minute walk from the stadium, but Leon forgot that he has a much longer stride than Hop does. It’s okay. It just gives them more time together.

He keeps his arm around his brother’s shoulders. They don’t talk, but the silence is comfortable. If Leon had to guess, he’d say Hop is looking forward to the meal as much as he is himself.

“Lee?”

“Yeah?”

“Those guys, back in the store…”

“Oh, don’t think about them. They won’t bother you again, got it? Not as long as I’m around.”

“It’s not about that.” Hop’s face is pinched. He wrings his hands. “They were making fun of how I talk.”

“They’re just stupid, Hopscotch. They don’t like seeing anyone happy, so they’ll do whatever they can to pull you down. Don’t let them win.”

“But, Lee… you don’t talk like I talk.”

Leon bites the inside of his cheek. He does not want to explain to Hop about Wyndon’s classism problem; it had been painful enough to grow up around it. Learning the quirks the Wyndon natives had, losing his Postwick accent…

“I mean… I dinnae ken abou’ tha’. It’s all fer show, you know? I turn it on an’ off.”

Hop stares up at him, eyes wide and unblinking.

Then he breaks down laughing.

“Dinnae— dinnae ken! Oh, Lee! Can you imagine talking like that during a match? Nobody would know what you were saying!”

“I guess I’d need you to translate, then!”

Hop is smiling again. That’s all Leon wants, really — all he can ask for. He’d do anything for that smile.

They’re digging into some delicious ramen when Leon asks, “So, did you have fun today?”

“I did! It was lots of fun!”

“I’m glad.” Sluuuurp. “You know, if you lived here, you could see everything. You could come with me every day, and you’d get to do whatever you want.”

Hop looks down at his bowl. “Yeah.”

“I mean… I’m not trying to pressure you. It’s just… I miss you a lot, you know? And we never really have enough time to just… hang out.”

Hop sighs and mumbles something under his breath.

“What?”

“I wish I was Gloria’s brother.”

What.

Leon goes back through everything that’s happened since his family arrived. Has he done something to hurt him? He didn’t mean to. He doesn’t even know what it would be. Or is this something Hop has been thinking about for a while, something that grew out of the years Leon was away?

Or...

“Hop… Is this about those boys picking on you because you look like me? I’m sorry about that—”

But Hop is shaking his head. “No, it’s not that. It’s— actually, I wish Gloria was our sister. That would make everything so much easier.”

“What do you mean?”

“Then I wouldn’t have to choose between you.”

Is… is that how Hop thinks of it? Having to choose between his brother and his best friend, not being able to be there for both of them at once? In that case, it’s clear why he clings to Gloria. She’s a small girl with no family besides her mum, and she’s not even a trainer. There’s no way she can compete with Galar’s undefeated, beloved champion.

Hop must pity her.

“Hey,” Leon says, reaching over and taking Hop’s hands in his own. (Hop is so small, so delicate.) “You’re not choosing between us. You have us both. I’m going to be your brother no matter what. And I’m sure… I’m sure that Gloria will always be your friend, no matter what. It might be hard to keep up with both of us, but you can do it. I know you can.”

There. There’s that smile again. “Thank you.”

“It’s no problem.” He squeezes Hop’s hands, then lets him go.

“But, you know, Lee…”

“Yeah?”

“If you endorsed us both for the gym challenge, then me and Gloria could come to Wyndon together.”

Leon laughs, ruffling his brother’s hair. “I’ll consider it. Now, finish your food. There’s so much more I want to show you.”

#pokemon swsh fanfic #hop pokemon #champion leon

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champsays · 5 years

Text

“Adam” The Film And It’s Problematic Implications

Okay, so first of all — YES IM LATE TO THE PARTY! Apparently there’s a film called “Adam” that is coming out this summer based on a YA novel written by a white lesbian woman that is supposed to be super groundbreaking for the LGBT+ community. I’ve never heard of the book or the film until recently because of some backlash I saw on twitter. I didn’t wanna join the band wagon without being properly informed so I did my research and I must say that the backlash surrounding this film is completely just and warranted.

The novel written by Ariel Schrag is about a cis, white teenage boy who has bad luck with girls so when he goes to visit his lesbian sister in New York, who is at the moment dating a transman, he decides to pretend to be trans so he can bag himself a hot lesbian. He does this after being mistaken for trans and decides to run with it. He falls hard for the “hot lesbin girl” and in one scene they even have sex where he actually uses his real penis to penetrate her even though she thought it was a strap on. He goes to a Trans Camp where he eventually feels bad about his actions and confesses to the girl. But for some reason she’s not as mad and even says that ‘it’s okay because she imagined him as a real a boy anyway.’ A lot more happens but that’s the summarized version.

Despite the backlash, some movie executives thought that it would be groundbreaking to make this novel into a film and here’s why that’s a huge mistake. How many Hollywood movies have we seen where a White, Cis male has infiltrated the safe spaces of a marginalized community for personal/sexual gain and then eventually learns how these actions are problematic? We’ve seen this same story play out plenty of times on screen but now that LGBT allyship is trendy in Hollywood, the powers that be thought they were doing something groundbreaking and pushing the envelope by making this highly offensive film.

First of all, the fact that the original novel was written by a lesbian just goes to show how education on trans identity is very scarce even in the Queer community and we have to do better in that regard. But how many times do we need to see a white boy using real issues to get laid on screen? This could have easily been a story about an actual transman coming to terms with his identity in life and in romance. But instead lets create a story where trans is essentially a costume. Hell, a story about the main character’s sister would have been more interesting and more authentic to the author’s personal experience. It also proves that just because you identify as being apart of the LGBT+ community, it doesnt necessarily mean you are qualified to tell stories about all of our experiences.

Now besides the highly problematic narrative and offensive nuances, the writer literally tries to romanticize a rape scene. In the book, the main character tells his lesbian girlfriend that he is using a strap on to penetrate her but in fact he uses his real penis. The girlfriend didnt consent to that which is, by definition, RAPE. Make no mistake, when engaging in any sexual activity and one party decides to go a step further without the consent of their partner that is considered rape. Not to mention the horrible implication that trans men arent real men. Or the fact that lesbians can be “fixed” by having sex with a ‘real man’. That’s right! In the book, the girlfriend of the main character ends up getting a cis boyfriend. Does this make her bisexual or has she decided to be completely hetero? We really dont know but the implication is not okay, especially for this to be a YA novel. If you marry that idea with how impressionable young adults can be, smells like a recipe for disaster.

I can’t continue without saying that there are actually straight men who prowl gay bars hoping to connect with a “hot lesbian” to convert her back to liking “real men”. I’ve personally encountered men with this exact mindset so to fantasize this very problematic behavior into a book AND movie just perpetuates the notion that gayness/queerness/trans identity is curable.

I perused through youtube to find a few videos and interviews of the filmmakers talking about the movie amidst the backlash and the director Rhys Ernst is surprisingly one of the directors that works on the critically acclaimed show “Transparent”. As popular as that show is and as talented as Jeffrey Tambor is, the show is still riddled with its own issues by allowing a Cis White man to play a trans person eseentially taking a job away from an actual trans actor. An issue that even Jeffrey Tambor ironically shed light on during his acceptance speech after winning a Golden Globe Award for Best Actor for his performance in the role.

One would think that in an industry where LGBT+ stories have been scarce for so long that we should rejoice in the small triumphs. On the surface, this film is being paraded around as artistic genius amplifying the voices of the trans community and employing those who belong to the community in front AND BEHIND the camera. We should be applauding this right? WRONG. This story is essentially about the trans community through the lens of a selfish, insecure, sex crazed straight man and we are tired of seeing that portrayed on screen. I looked on IMDB and it says that this film comes out in August and I’m sure it will have a strong marketing campaign that will be wrapped in a beatiful bow of romance, inclusion, and acceptance but don’t be fooled.

We live in a climate where standing up for what’s right is frowned upon. Where people mistake using your voice as another cry for political correctness. You even have people saying this new generation is “too sensitive”. Well I beg to differ. We are not sensitive at all. We just choose to not be as passive as our parents and grandparents were. We have decided to not apologize when we tell you how we want to be treated. And if that’s an issue for you, take it up with God or whatever higher power you choose to believe in. I’d rather be politically correct than completely deaf and oblivious to the experiences of a marginalized people — and that’s what Champ says!

#adam #adam the film #ariel schrag #rhys ernst #lgbt #lgbtqia #transgender #transphobia

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greensleevesredlipstick · 5 years

Text

i dreamed a dream

fic based on this ask where they're in the school play les mis together. howard is cosette, boleyn is fantine, parr is eponine, cleves is madame thenardier, aragon is sister simplicity, and jane is the stage manager/director (im not a theater person whatsoever so im not gonna lie, idk the difference). hope u all enjoy!!! any other fic prompts feel free to send :)

jane arrived to the auditorium first. it was their first show after an exhausting tech week, but she was excited to see the cast and crew’s hard work pay off. the long days, nights they had to order pizza to the school instead of getting home cooked meals, and early mornings, would all be worth it. It was her senior year and the drama teacher, Mr. Tudor, was finally letting her make her directorial debut. as the others trickled in, Jane greeted them nervously. the crew was in place, making sure the lighting was just right. she saw most of the cast in their dressing rooms getting ready but when she did a headcount, she noticed that one was missing. catherine aragon, a sophomore, said “pretty sure it’s anne who’s late. again”. Jane caught her tone of annoyance, but didn’t have time to dissect it. she had to make sure that everything else was in order. as she crossed the hall to the other changing room, anne nearly ran her over. out of breath, she started to apologize to Jane. Jane had to laugh; they had been in shows together since Anne was a freshman and she was a sophomore and she could count the occasions anne was on time on one hand. she pushed her friend into the dressing room warning her that she “better be dressed in time, or else” and tried her best to be menacing. Anne laughed, and Jane continued on to the next room. As she walked away, she mused over the contrast between anne and her character. she was able to flip the switch from anne the chaotic teenager to fantine the heartbroken mother in an instant. she wondered where inside Anne that emotion came from, and resolved to have at least one heart to heart with her friends in the future. in the meantime, she had work to do.

When she pushed on the door to the second dressing room, she found that it was locked. She frowned. none of the doors were supposed to be locked; there were people coming and going constantly. she jiggled the handle, but it refused to give way. she heard the voice of anna cleves, a junior who had only joined drama club that year. anna said nervously “give us a minute, please”. annoyed, Jane responded “look, I guess you don’t know how things work around here but-”. the door swung open and anna swiftly pulled her inside. jane quickly caught sight of katherine howard, one of the leads, crying in the corner of the room. she was only a sophomore and Mr. Tudor had doubted her ability, but jane had insisted on casting her as cosette. Jane had gotten to know the young girl, and had been blown away by her talent and poise-which is why she was so confused as she watched anna wrap her arms around the younger girl as she sobbed. she locked the door behind her and said softly, “what’s wrong, Kat?”. Katherine took a shaky breathe and said “it’s nothing, please don’t worry about me. I know how busy you are.” Over her girlfriend’s shoulder, Anna mouthed “stage fright”. Jane said “honey, let me do the worrying. everyone gets nervous sometimes, its only natural. you have nothing to be ashamed of”. Kat choked out “I’m 16, for gods sake. people get stage fright when they’re in like, fifth grade. not one of the leads in high school. whatever, I’ll be fine. just leave me alone. Actually Anna, you can go and get ready too. I’ll be fine”. Anna pulled her closer and said firmly “i’m not going anywhere” and Jane added “me neither. tell us what’s going on. you’ve been in shows before, haven't you?”. there was a long pause. finally Kat said “yea, I have. but this one feels different. I know that Mr. Tudor didn’t want me here, and I think some of the upperclassmen are mad at me for taking the lead from them. I can’t go on stage and then mess up and prove them right because they’ll all laugh and then I just don’t know what I would do”. katherine was breathing heavily. “shhhhh, it’s okay babe.” said Anna, rocking her girlfriend. Jane jumped in “hey, I have a lot of pressure on me, too. I knew that you were up to the role or I would have given it to someone else. You’re the most talented, powerful, graceful performer that i’ve seen. Don’t worry about proving the rest of them wrong, go out there and prove me right”. She gave Katherine’s arm a squeeze. Just then, there was a banging on the door. “Can someone let me in please???” Jane recognized Anne’s voice. “I kind of uh...can’t find my costume. Is it in there??” kat let out a little laugh. “i’ll be fine, really. Jane, you definitely have other things to be doing.” Jane glanced at Anna and said “well actually...” anna said “i’ve got this. go.” with one more concerned glance at Kat, Jane left to help Anne (and get the rest of the 50+ cast and crew together). Alone again in the room, Kat and Anna put their foreheads together. Katherine’s breath slowly returned to normal, but she still looked pale. Katherine finally brought her eyes up to meet Anna’s. Anna said simply “I believe in you, babe. pretend you’re singing just in the shower, and you’ll blow them all away”. Katherine exhaled, and they slowly started to get ready together.

in the wings, catherine parr and aragon ran through their lines together. although parr was a senior and aragon was only a sophomore, they had become fast friends during rehearsals. parr often tutored aragon in the courses she had already taken, and aragon repayed her with ice cream from her dad’s store. they looked out into the audience and were filled with nervous anticipation at the size of the crowd. they scurried backstage to put the finishing touches on their costume, whispering to the others about the full house. as the curtain rose and the opening notes to “look down” all of Jane and the rest of the cast/crew’s work fell into place.

For Katherine, the show was a blur. she saw bits and pieces; the melody of “heart full of love”, the red white and blue of the waving flags, and the roar of the crowd. when they took their final bow, she grabbed anna’s hand extra tight. she squeezed, and anna squeezed back. as the cast headed off stage, boleyn scurried off to her locker down the hallway. as Jane stepped on stage to take her bow, anne proudly presented her with a bouquet of flowers. she beamed as she listened to the crowd roar for one of her closest friends. once the cast finally changed out of their costumes and seen their friends and family, Anne announced “POST GAME AT MY HOUSE!!!”. the group cheered loudly, but groaned when Jane said “we’re back here at 11AM, so I don’t want to hear about anything too crazy”. Cleves chimed in “you won’t have to hear about it, you’re coming.” “that's right” parr declared. “you’re with us”. They piled into the senior’s cars and headed to Anne’s house, thrilled with how the show had gone.

Jane, ever the responsible one, spoke to each of the drivers and made sure that they weren’t drinking. parr and her were both designated drivers, but they still joined in the fun. anne was predictably the life of the party, climbing on top of her kitchen counter and belting out the lyrics to chicago’s “cell block tango”. Aragon rolled her eyes at boleyn’s rowdiness, but didn’t let that stop her from dancing with the rest of them. after a drink or two, Jane even spotted boleyn and aragon doing their synchronized choreography to “dancing queen”, the previous years production, together. anna and katherine danced together in the corner. anna laughed softly. new to the theatre scene, she said “only theatre kids would drink to ABBA”. they swayed together, offbeat from the rest of the cast, but they didn't care. anna pulled katherine closer and said “I’m so proud of you, babe. you nailed it, and you made me proud”. Kat added “as a plus, I didn’t ruin Jane’s night”. as they kissed, “seasons of love” began to play. they swayed together as the rest of the cast belted out “five hundred twenty five thousand...”

#first fic in a while that i dont hate lmfao #but KEEP SENDING REQUESTS AND ILL KEEP WRITING #OTHERWISE I WONT CAUSE I HAVE 0 IDEAS #anyways yea enjoy :)#six #six the musical #six fanfic #six the musical fanfic #anne boleyn #katherine howard #anna of cleves #jane seymour #catherine parr #catherine of aragon

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jvmp3 · 5 years

Text

chapter one

words: 9.8k

warnings: descriptions of a dead body, maybe gross changing sequence if you squint, too many words... etc.

a/n: im s o sorry this is late... it was supposed to go up today at like three pm,, it’s now EIGHT PM . this is lowkey a gift to @escapedbeauty since it’s her bday so hehe but enjoy !! stay tuned for more <3

chan

chan laced the lacrosse stick, the white mesh stared back at him as he brought the strings towards him, knotting the end. he placed the stick on the ground and stood to walk over to his shower. the hot water did nothing to calm him or to relieve anything that he was feeling. he was nervous. chan thought it might be from starting his sophomore year, but he really wasn’t sure to be honest. the steam from the shower fogged up the mirror and he wiped the condensation off to see his reflection. the dark hair on his head laid flat, he combed his fingers through it. he got dressed and heard something from above him, considering he was on the second floor of his home it was a tad worrying. the boy grabbed the bat next to the door. chan walked down the stairs and heard the movements become louder. the front door handle was cold to the touch and the creaking of the wood under his feet brought him back to the sounds above him. the bat felt heavy in his hands as he brought the metal up, ready to swing at anything that would jump out at him. he saw a body fall and chan was met face to face with his best friend.

“jisung what the hell!?” he screamed at the boy with grey hair, who was was currently hanging upside down on his front porch. jisung scrambled and with wide eyes he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“what the hell jisung? what the hell chan? why do you have a bat? you don’t even play.” jisung was still frazzled by the sudden introduction of the bat and moved his hands towards his face to protect himself. his grey hair fell from his scalp and dangled before chan. the bat fell from the original position and hung at chan’s side. jisung snapped his fingers to get chan’s attention back on him. “anyways, i was listening in to the radio and they found a body in the woods!” chan’s face showed confusion and jisung sighed cross his arms,

“body? what type of body? like a body of water?” now it was jisung’s face that fell and he’s the one that looked confused.

“yes like a body of water.” the grey headed boy snarked back not before adding, “no dumbass! a body, like a person! body of a person, duh.” the smile that graced jisung’s features was off-putting since they were talking about an actual body. chan frowned and helped jisung down from the roof. the boy brushed off his clothes and straightened out his shirt. “we gotta go! dad said it was somewhere in the middle of the woods. it’s only half the body! super gruesome stuff. we have to try to find it! i wanna be on the news, maybe star in a podcast or two.” jisung was practically shouting and it almost hurt chan’s ears. the boy was already tugging chan by the arm out of his house. chan reached behind to pull his house door shut and let his friend drag him to where the said body was supposed to be.

the two boys walked under the trees and let the leaves crunch under their feet, wondering where the body was. chan held his phone out to guide the way and the bright light was shining on both of their shoes.

“so you’re telling me they actually think there’s a body out here?” chan walked up the hill of dirt and pushed himself to reach the over ecstatic boy in front of him. the breaths leaving him were more like wheezes, he knew he needed to take a break. he felt himself reaching for his inhaler that was in his jacket pocket, his breathing more ragged as his fingers grasped the plastic container that would hopefully calm his lungs. chan brought it to his lips and paused his movements to let the medication flow through his airways. he let out a relieved sigh. his lungs no longer felt like they were on fire anymore so he ran to meet up with jisung. his friend was still trying to explain everything.

“well i mean it was a call about a potential body. not completely sure they’ll find anything but if they do, we’re gonna be their first to see it!” jisung exclaimed while pumping one fist in the air. the smile never leaving his face as they continued their trek in the forest. jisung was still happily proclaiming his theories about the body before seeing flashlights in the distance that wasn’t from chan. jisung grabbed chan’s hoodie and forced them to the ground. “dude my dad’s here, if we get busted my ass is screwed.” chan wanted to laugh but couldn’t when he overheard his friend’s dad speaking along with some other officers.

“the tip said it was in this area, i’m thinking we should spread out and check the vicinity.” jisung’s dad ordered the remaining officers near him and within seconds the officers and dogs were out of the pair’s sights. jisung looked to his friend and gave him a thumbs up before scrambling to follow after his dad.

“wait jisung! wait for-“ chan was cut short and threw himself against a tree once he saw jisung fall to the floor. a flashlight was soon in his face, jisung yelped and held his arms out to protect himself from the harsh light that came above him. chan clamped a hand over his mouth to minimize his breathing and he tried to hear what they were saying.

“wait a minute, this one belongs to me.” jisung’s dad scoffed and held out his hand to help his son off the ground. jisung grabbed it and dusted the dirt from himself for the second time that night. he smiled at his dad, “wait wheres the other one? where’s chan?” jisung’s dad moved the flash light around in hopes of finding his son’s partner in crime. “chan are you out there?”

“no! he’s uh not here. chan’s at home, you know sleeping. it is the night before school.” jisung answered quickly hoping to steer his his father away. his dad seemed to buy it because he grabbed jisung’s shirt and started pulling them towards the police car that was just outside the woods.

“that’s right it is a school night, you should be home sleeping right now like your friend.” chan overheard the whole conversation and his hand went to grab his inhaler to make sure it was in the pocket. the boy wanted to go home. he’d been up for far too long and wanted to sleep the night away. after making sure the coast was clear, he started to wander off from the area and came across an area with a lot of trees spread out. chan tried to listen to the sounds of the woods but was left with eerie silence. it was all quiet. not even the sound of crickets or leaves crunching could be heard. he watched the trees, and let his other senses take over. the ground started to shake and chan backed away from the open woods. a herd of deer came into chan’s view and his eyes widened to make sure what he was seeing was true. the sudden intrusion of the herd made chan’s hand fall from the inhaler and he lost it somewhere on the floor. he fell somewhere away from it. the deer stomped through the forest and around chan. he tried covering his eyes from the dirt that flew into his eyes. as an afterthought he kept his arms up to protect his face from the deer. he was afraid and didn’t know what to do. after a few stray deer made their way to the rest of them, chan let out a breath. his heart was beating so fast and he took a few breaths to try and get his rapid heartbeat under control. he got off the ground and reached for his phone, the boy turned on the flashlight and let his phone light cover the ground in order to find his inhaler. chan moved his phone around slowly, searching for the small thing. instead of his inhaler, the phone light landed on the body.

as in the cut in half, bloodied body. he almost screamed as he fell backwards. the body stared back at him, the girl’s eyes open wide in horror. he wanted to reach out and close her eyes but he was too terrified so he just slowly backed up until he got to his feet and turned away from the body on the ground.

chan started to search for his inhaler again, he wanted to get the image of the dead girl’s body out of his head. he was tempted to call jisung and tell him but he had more pressing matters. he shook off his nerves. the movement of leaves and branches behind chan scared him out of his mind. he turned around to be met with nothing, it was like something out of a b-rated horror movie and he almost laughed. the same sound was heard. he moved his head only to it to be met with red glowing eyes in the distance. chan swore under his breath. he wanted to run away from whatever was out there but before he could he react, the thing jumped out at him. chan tired to push himself away from the thing on top of him but with no avail the thing had a hold of chan’s torso. chan felt a scream rip through his throat when his side was pierced with something wickedly sharp. it had a sort burning sting to it and his mind wandered to what his mom would say. chan shook the thoughts from his head. he must be delirious from the pain. he needed to get this thing off him before it tore him to pieces. it finally released its hold on chan. the teenager scrambled to get on his feet and started running as fast as his legs could take him. he started to hyperventilate. his inhaler still nowhere to be found but he just kept running. he’d rather suffer an asthma attack then whatever the hell was in the woods. suddenly, chan could see lights in front of him and he pushed himself to run faster. the moment he was met with road he stopped to hold his chest. he was hoping to get more air into his lungs but it didn’t seem to be working. chan heard the sound of an engine and he turned to be met with headlights. the car had to swerve to avoid hitting him. he was left alone on the dark road. he wanted his mom or a pair of paramedics. with shaky breaths leaving chan he brought his hand to his side and lifted the shirt that used to be white up to reveal his wound. chan’s eyes widened at the bite mark that cover his side. his wound wasn’t from claws or a knife like he was expecting. chan didn’t know what to do. he was in a lot of pain and all he wanted to was go to sleep.

chan locked his bike on the rack just outside his school. he heard a car park besides him and cursed when he saw that it was a porsche. jackson wang got out of the over priced car and smacked the door into chan’s unhurt side. jackson closed the door and scoffed towards the boy.

“dude, watch it.” he pointed to the car door and chan’s eyes followed it. jackson was the one who hit him. he really wanted to go back home. jackson was called away by some of his friends and chan sighed leaving his bike locked up to meet up with his friend and tell him everything that happened the night before. the gauze stuck to his side covering the wound felt sticky and chan wanted to replace it already. jisung jogged up to his friend after clicking to lock up his jeep. chan smiled when he saw him. before chan had gone to bed he had texted his friend about the bite, but not about the body.

“alright channie let’s see it.” chan felt that jisung’s enthusiasm about the wound was too much. he wasn’t sure how his friend had so much energy in the early morning, but he pulled the side of his shirt up to reveal the bite. chan could see it was bleeding again. “woah there buddy, looks like it hurts.” jisung went to grab at chan’s waist and touch it but chan flinched away. “oh shit, sorry.” chan let the shirt fall back down. jisung asked him what he thought did it but he honestly didn’t know. chan grabbed at his backpack straps and the pair started walking towards the entrance of the school.

“it was really dark so i couldn’t see much, but im pretty sure it was a wolf.”

“oh my god, i know you’re dumb, but are you really that dumb? there’s no wolves in california, dumbass.” jisung’s small laugh made chan look at him. if it wasn’t a wolf he wasn’t sure what it was.

“well it howled,” chan explained.

“doesn’t matter, california doesn’t have wolves.” jisung made chan stop in his tracks just so could look him in the eye. chan saw he wasn’t joking, he was being serious.

“you’re joking.”

“i’m not.” his eyes were concerned and gravely serious. it was odd to see his usual happy friend so solemn. “there’s no way you were bitten by a wolf.”

chan didn’t know what to say but then he remembered the body. “i found the body. well half of it.” jisung jumped and he reached out for the boy.

“oh my god really?! you found the body, thats so co-“

“it’s not cool! i’m gonna need years of therapy.”

“therapy, dude? you’re a wuss! this is awesome. literally the best thing that’s happened,” suddenly, a brunette entered the scene. jisung’s eyes followed the girl and chan smiled at his love sick friend. “...since areum was born.” the bell rang and jisung pouted once areum walked into the main building doors. he turned around and met chan’s eyes again. chan grabbed his friend by the shoulder and pushed them both towards the school. jisung would only have to wait mere seconds to see areum again. she was stuck in first period with them.

“now, i know some of you are aware of the body found in the woods last night,” their teacher started and chan could feel the wink that jisung was sending him without even looking. “and i’m supposed to tell you that the police have someone in custody. that means you can focus on my class and not the conspiracy theories following this case.” chan looked back towards jisung and gave him a questioning look, jisung just shrugged and went back to staring whatever was important on his pencil. chan slouched back into his seat trying to focus on the class, but a phone ringing made him bring his hands up to cover his ears. he looked around, but saw no one who looked remotely concerned about a phone going off, not even the teacher. the boy’s eyes drifted to the window and his eyes caught sight of someone sitting on the bench outside with a phone to their ear, chan could hear their conversation clearly.

“mom, you don’t need to call me on the first day. i’ve done this before, i know how high school works.” chan could see the boy struggling to open his bag and look for something, “no i’m fine, i think i just forgot a pen.” chan smiled and he ignored the small lecture that was going on right in front of him to listen to what was happening outside. “no, mom, please don’t, i’ll be fine, okay i gotta go. yeah, love you too” the boy got up and shook hands with whatever admin was helping this kid out. chan focused on listening to them to where they were going and suddenly saw them in the doorway to his classroom.

“mr. morgan’s astronomy class, good morning to you all. i’d like to introduce a new student here at becon hills. his name is kim seungmin and he’ll be in this class, do your best to make him feel welcome.” the administrator left and the teacher pointed to the area where chan was sitting. he saw seungmin walk towards him and heard his bag hit the floor once he was seated. chan grabbed an extra pen that was on his desk and turned to give it to the boy.

“thank you?” seungmin looked confused but still took the pen from chan and he smiled back to show his gratitude. the rest of school went by rather quickly, and every kid left the school halls leaving them empty. chan made his way to his locker and saw seungmin, by what he wassumed was his locker. the two smiled at each other, areum came from the other hall and saw seungmin,

“i’m areum, it’s seungmin right?” areum held her hand out for the boy to shake and he nodded as well, chan heard seungmin’s heart rate increase. areum let out a small chuckle as she let go of the nervous boy’s hand. “hey, i’m sorry i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, just wanted to make sure that you have a good first day, and maybe ask if you need a friend?” seungmin smiled brightly and shook his head slightly,

“no, it’s fine, don’t worry. thanks for checking in. it’s nice to meet you areum, and i’d love to be friends.” seungmin’s hand were still gripping his back pack and chan could hear his heartbeat start to slow. jisung stood in front of chan now but he was still listening to the two across the hall conversation. jackson joined his girlfriend and let his hands attach to her waist while areum still talked to seungmin.

“how is the new kid already friends with areum and jackson?” some girl came up to chan and friend and jisung answered for chan.

“probably because he looks lonely and areum is a nice person that wants to make everyone comfortable?” jisung answered nonchalantly. chan let jisung and the girl bicker back and forth while he was focused on seungmin and areum.

“alrighty then seungmin, there is a party this friday after school. it will be so much fun! we can hang together the whole night!” areum smiled clasping her hands together excitedly. chan knew that that was an exaggeration. areum wouldn’t hang with seungmin the whole night like she said. chan liked areum, but he wasn’t always her biggest fan. she was like a coin. sometimes she was the kindest thing this side of the galaxy had ever seen, but she also had a tendency to flip when she was around jackson and his friends.

“oh i’m sorry, every friday my family and i do something special but thanks for asking though.” seungmin almost looked uncomfortable under the gazes of the most popular couple at school and chan almost felt sorry for him.

“you have to come! everyone is gonna be there and so is the team.” jackson tried.

“football?”

“beacon hills football team sucks, haven’t won a game in years. our lacrosse team on the other hand has won state champs the last three years.” jackson offered a smile and areum brought her hand to brush some of the stray hairs on jackson’s head away from his face.

“yeah because of a certain team captain.” areum kissed her boyfriends cheek and chan swore he heard jisung gag.

“we actually have practice in a few... you should come and watch it,” jackson was no longer leaning on the lockers and areum grabbed for seungmin’s hand. “see if you wanna even join the team.”

“i actually have– i don’t do sports really.” seungmin looked scared and chan wanted nothing more than to just help the poor boy.

“well jackson was just kidding but you still have to come watch.” areum dragged them away and chan pulled jisung by his bag to go practice too.

after changing into their gear, the boys practicing for the lacrosse team all gathered on the field. chan heard coach blow the whistle.

“listen, im tired of sitting out on everything! i wanna be on the front line jisung, no more bench warming.” chan muttered and jisung shrugged not quite agreeing, he was just glad to be on the team.

“bang!” coach finstock yelled at chan from behind him, he turned around to answer coach but was interrupted. “you’re goalie today kiddo.”

“coach, i’ve never played goalie before though.” chan was ready to beg to get out of it, but his regular gear was thrown on the ground and replaced with a goalie’s stick and helmet.

“well obviously, but hey, there is a first time for everything! try and get the kids going you know? fire them up? or whatever the hell you kids say now a days.”

“huh?” the boy looked scared and coach laughed.

“catch the balls so they don’t hit you, bang.” he gave chan a hard pat on the shoulder and left chan there. he went to stand near the net and chan heard seungmin’s voice again,

“who is that?” areum followed her new friends eye line and frowned.

“not sure, why?” she looked seungmin in the eye but the boy was still looking at chan.

“we have astronomy with him. he gave me a pen, i was just wondering.” seungmin shrugged and chan let his attention drift to the practice. the loud ringing of the whistle startled chan and he tried clutching his ears with the big gloves to drown out the sound. an incoming fast ball hit chan on the helmet beating him to it and he was thrown backwards from the force. he heard some laughing and jisung visibly cringed from the sidelines. chan got back up and focused on the kid in front of him, the ball left his net and in the blink of an eye, it was sitting in chan’s. he looked surprised along with everyone else on the field and jisung screamed out for his friend.

“hell yeah!”

more kids tried getting past but chan caught them all. one after the other he caught all the lacrosse balls thrown at him. chan didn’t know how this was possible and how he was doing it, but he was and nobody was more surprised then him. jackson skipped the lineup and went to the front, chan’s whole body tensed up, he had to catch this and not make a fool of him self.

“oh god,” chan went into position to catch his ball and as soon as it was thrown from jackson to chan, it was in his net. chan did it, he caught the team captain’s ball and everyone was cheering for chan.

“yes! that’s my best friend!” jisung shouted and chan laughed and sent him his best version of thumbs up given the gloves. areum was on her feet cheering chan on and chan caught jackson staring at her and felt something close to proud.

chan jumped off the small dirt pile and his feet were soon wet from the small river, jisung followed behind him and they both walked across the small river.

“i don’t know man, it’s weird. i just caught them it was like time stopped and i was able to catch them no problem. but the thing is that’s not the only weird thing thats happened,” chan stopped for a moment to duck under a tree branch, “i can hear and smell things that i shouldn’t be able to. like the spearmint gum thats in your pocket.” chan stopped again to let jisung look in his pocket to find one wrapped piece of spearmint gum. jisung was shocked that he knew that but brushed off thinking it was just a coincidence.

“and this all started with the bite?” they continued their journey in the woods.

“yeah, but what if im dying? like this is the surge and my last few hours are just all my senses heightened, or maybe i have some type of disease?” chan turned to look at jisung and he scoffed but then jisung placed his hands on his hips, moving his jacket out of the way.

“oh yeah i’ve actually heard of something like this man,”

“really? what is it?”

“lycanthropy.” jisung stated with a straight face.

“oh my god it sounds bad, it’s bad isn’t it?”

“oh yeah its the worst. but usually its only once a month,” chan looked confused and wanted to say something but jisung didn’t let him “only on the full moon.” jisung howled and chan wanted to punch his friend. jisung was still howling by the time that chan turned to start walking away, chan turned around and punched him in the shoulder. “hey! im just relaying information i got from google.”

“dude im serious!! i could be dying and here you are making jokes about it.”

“no way, dude, you’re just a big bad werewolf now!” jisung made some growling noises and chan wanted nothing more than to punch his friend again, but this time in the mouth. chan glared at his friend and jisung stopped his teasing to hold up his arms in defense. “okay, okay, im joking obviously! but there is a full moon on friday, so just be careful.” jisung teased but chan was already over it.

he halted his steps and crouched down to move some leaves around. “i swear on everything holy, it was right here. the deer, where i dropped my inhaler and found the body.” he continued to move some leaves and throw some branches out of the way while jisung just stood there.

“maybe the killer took it?” jisung tried

“yeah i get the body, but why my inhaler?” chan was still crouching when jisung slapped his shoulder, the boy got up and turned to where his friend was looking. a man in a leather jacket was standing twenty feet away from them and the pair stood there awkwardly while the man walked closer to them.

“what are you doing here?” the man tried and still got no response from chan or jisung. “this is private property.” jisung took his hands from his pocket and scratched his neck.

“uh shoot sorry dude, we uh didn’t know” jisung rushed out.

“yeah, sorry, we were looking for something but forget it, sorry we intruded.” chan wanted to leave, the man standing before them was intimidating. the man in leather threw chan’s inhaler and chan caught it without looking. the man turned to leave and chan was ready to leave too. “come on jisung, lets go.” after getting some space between them and the mystery man, jisung spoke up.

“dude, do you even know how that was?”

“no, why should i?” he asked, still walking. chan just wanted to put more space between leather guy and them.

“it was freaking lee minho! he’s only a few years older than us. do you not remember?” jisung pressed and chan’s grip on the inhaler tightened.

“remember what?”

“his family, they all burned in their house like ten years ago.” both boys were now heavily confused, chan twirled the inhaler in his hands before sticking it in his pocket.

“wonder what he’s doing back.” it wasn’t a question. it was a statement and with the silence that followed chan could tell jisung was starting to grow more curious as time dragged on.

after departing from his best friend, chan had work to attend to. chan worked at a veterinary clinic and had been for awhile now. that was why he closed some nights. he went to the front door and switched the sign to closed and locked the door. soon he would be heading home, and he was glad. sleep was calling for him.

chan looked up to the darkening sky and saw storm clouds. he walked to the bathroom and brought the necessities he needed to clean up his wound. he lifted his shirt and saw nothing. there was no remnants of any wound on his side at all. chan was more confused than ever. he really didn’t know what to do other than to keep working so he put the supplies back and went to grab cat food to make sure they were fed before the night ended. the moment he entered the cat’s room hissing could be heard from everywhere and it surprised chan. he looked around the room and saw all the cats were going crazy and looked like they were going to jump chan if the cages weren’t in the way. he dropped the bag of food and left the room in a hurry. not understanding what was happening. the sudden knocking brought chan back and he saw a glimpse of seungmin from the door. he ran to the to door and opened it seeing a distressed male.

“i was just driving and i… i look away for one second and i hit it. it came out of nowhere! i didn’t see it.” he babbled and chan noticed how anxiety ridden he was.

“calm down, you’re okay. what did you hit?”

seungmin took a breath in and slowly exhaled, “a dog, i hit a dog.” chan was still worried about seungmin and he didn’t know what to do.

“do you know where you hit it? i can call someone and we’ll find the-“

“i have the dog, i took it with me. i didn’t want it to be alone and hurt. ” seungmin said breathlessly and moved to go out to his car to show the other male the hurt dog, chan followed. getting soaked wasn’t on chan’s agenda tonight but neither was dealing with a dogs broken leg. after they moved the dog into the vet clinic, chan was quick to give seungmin a towel to dry his hair and clothes as much as he could, along with himself before tending to the dog. he towel dried himself as much as he could and went over to the dog, drying some of the dogs fur and then looking at its broken leg.

“i can splint it for now and give the dog some pain meds but the head vet has to reset it. im not qualified for that yet.” seungmin hung the towel around his neck and went to lean on the table in the middle of the room to talk to chan, he smiled for the first time that night and chan responded with a soft smile.

“well i’m glad, i didn’t want to just leave the dog hurt especially in this weather. i hope i made the right call.”

“you did, don’t worry, i can handle broken legs. its nothing to worry about, this pup will be back on his feet in few months.” chan was getting ready to administer some pain meds and get what he needed to splint the dogs leg when he saw seungmin was petting the dog trying to make sure it was comfortable. he smiled and grabbed the supplies he needed, “do you like dogs?” seungmin looked up to chan and smiled.

“yeah, i do. i used to have one but she died a while back. also how do you know my name?” seungmin smirked and chan laughed, he pets the dogs head before going to his front leg and grabbing some of the fur to inject the medication.

“we have astronomy together, my names chan by the way.”

“yeah i know, you just never told me your name, chan. you gave me the pen today. do you want that back?” seungmin tried and chan laughed again, he wrapped the dogs leg and stood up straight to stretch out his muscles.

“don’t worry about it, i have a ton more.” seungmin gave him a thumbs up before going back to pet the dog again. the two fell into a comfortable silence with the rain and the dog breathing were the only things that could be heard. chan put the supplies away and walked back to the table. “so do you really have plans on friday, or was that just an excuse not to go to areum’s party.”

seungmin looked at chan and shook his head with a slight smile, “no, family night isn’t a thing, why?”

“wondered if you wanted to go to areum’s party with me instead? areum’s a busy lady and she might say one thing, but mean something totally different. she’s still a good person though don’t get me wrong. i just don’t want you to be alone.” chan added a smile and hoped he wasn’t be too pushy.

“yeah, let’s do it. i should probably head home though,” seungmin handed the towel back to the other boy and he placed them on the counter top while the seungmin gathered his things. chan walked his new friend outside and made sure he got back on the road safely before leaving to pack up for the night. after racing to get home to get a healthy amount of sleep, chan laid in bed wondering about what he was going to wear to the party. he tossed and turned and just when he thought he was falling asleep, he was rudely awakened by bumping into something.

his eyes opened wide in annoyance but then shock when he realized that he wasn’t in his bedroom. chan was face to face with dirt, he was literally staring at leaves and the dirt on the ground. he regretted not wearing a shirt to bed as the air outside was colder than what he was expecting. chan looked around, he couldn’t tell if he was dreaming or not. the fog proving to impair his vision and and the breeze did nothing for the goosebumps that arose on his skin. when chan stood up he tried to see if he could see anything that would tell him where he was. a twig snapped and chan froze, he slowly turned to where the sound originated from and saw nothing. another rustle from his left and chan was staring at something dark in the distance. afraid of what it could do and not wanting to stay behind to find out, chan started running. chan looked to his left again and the thing looked to be mimicking him, it was copying chan’s every moment. he forced his legs to move faster, sprinting in the forest, he made it to a break by the edge of the forest and was met with a fence. chan threw his body over it and landed ungracefully. he ran back to his house after realizing where he was, he still had to get ready for school. chan was severely confused about how he got to the woods and more confused about what it was that he saw. he got ready and headed to school as fast as he could not even stopping to say bye to his mom.

he never slept-walk before.

the day had gone on so long and chan was grateful that all he had left was some practice. he was grabbing things from his locker when a hand slammed the door shut. chan was met with jackson’s eyes and he visibly sighed, he was too tired to deal with anything jackson had to say.

“alright asswipe, how about you tell me where you’re getting your juice from?”

“huh?”

“where do you get your juice?” jackson hissed.

“my mom does all the shopping?” chan really didn’t know how else to answer the question, he had no clue what jackson was talking about.

“listen up bang, i know for a fact that there’s no way hell you, out of all people, are kicking ass on the field without some type of chemical cocktail.” a light switch went off in chan’s head.

“oh you mean steroids… wait, what?” before the boy could react jackson grabbed the top of chan’s jersey and moving to pin him against the wall. chan’s back hit the lockers and he glared at the boy in front of him.

“what the hell is going on with you?” jackson’s words were laced with anger and chan could almost taste it.

“you wanna know what the hell is going on with me jackson? well i would love to know too! because i can do things that i shouldn’t be able to do like hear and smell things that are way to be far to be even sensed.” chan paused as jackson let him go, but he wasn’t done yet. “i’m also able to do things like you said that i shouldn’t be able to do? i mean have you seen me? i’m not in great shape, but that’s not the point! i’m sleep walking miles away from my house and i’m pretty sure i’m losing my god damn mind!” chan let out a gasp he didn’t know he was holding. a weight that the boy didn’t even know had been lifted slightly. jackson laughed.

“aw did that help? is this funny to you bang? i know you’re hiding something and i’m gonna find out what it is, even if it kills me.” the words that left his mouth left chan speechless and jackson turned to leave. chan grabbed his belongings and followed the other boy to the field.

“chan! channie boy come here!!” chan could hear jisung’s yelling before he even saw the boy properly. chan placed his stuff near the bleachers by his friends stuff and leaned down to re-tie his shoes so they were tight enough.

“hurry up sung, i gotta be on the field.”

“okay listen, dad got the screening back from the fiber analysis and you won’t believe what they found on the body! they found animal hairs.” jisung sounded excited and nervous at the same time, but chan had seconds before coach called them to the field.

“sorry dude, can we talk later?”

“wait chan! you’re never gonna believe what the animal was!” chan could barely hear what jisung was saying anymore as he ran out to the field, but he caught the last bit. “it was a wolf.”

after practice, chan was going to head straight for jisung’s, and after a quick shower he biked towards his friend’s house to talk about what went down on the field earlier. he invited himself in and walked to his friends room. chan pounded on the door and within seconds the door opened to a disheveled looking jisung, he smiled towards him and pushed his way in to sit on jisung’s bed.

“thank god, you’re here. come in, you gotta see this.” jisung closed his door after chan was inside and began to ramble, “so i’ve been researching for a while and found all this information.” chan watched his friend sit at his desk and grabbed some papers near the printer.

“how much caffeine have you had today jisung?”

“too much but just listen,” chan laughed

“is it about the body? did they find out who killed her?”

“nope, they’re still questioning people. like lee minho, the guy from the woods. but chan! this isn’t about that!!” jisung was throwing his arms around to try and get his point across, chan shut up so his friend could talk, jisung put on a serious face and wasn’t flailing around anymore. “remember the joke from yesterday?” chan slowly nodded, “well buddy, it’s not a joke anymore.”

“jisung wha-“

“chan! i’ve been doing research since this all went down and now i know! do you even know why wolves howl?” jisung stood up with his arms crossed and the papers crinkling under his arm.

“no i don’t.”

“it’s a signal chan. they howl when they stray from the pack. it’s to signal their location to the rest of the pack. chan this means if you heard that, there could be more of them out there.”

“oh my god, a whole pack of wolves?” chan was still confused and jisung wasn’t making it easier with his rambling.

“no. a pack of werewolves.” at this point chan was annoyed. he didn’t want to listen to jisung tell scary stories, he was too busy and this wasn’t a boy scouts meeting.

“jisung, i swear to god. i have stuff to do like homework and pick up seungmin to go to areum’s party!” chan stood and grabbed his bag, already slinging it across his shoulder, making his friend talk to his back.

“chan, listen please. what you did today at practice, wasn’t just cool and amazing. it was literally impossible.”

“i made a good shot and went with it.” chan wanted to leave, he had things to attend to and jisung was just getting in his way.

“no! its not just that!” jisung grabbed his bag and moved to lay on his bed while he stared chan down, hoping to get his point across and to make his friend understand what was happening. “i mean chan, your reflexes, your speed! everything! you’re good at it chan, and people like us,” jisung motioned between them “can’t do that overnight. and also, your vision and smell! all your senses are heightened and don’t even try me, bang chan! i know you haven’t used your inhaler in days. days without using the plastic container that you used to be so dependent on before all this happened.”

“okay… i…” he couldn’t think, “jisung, i can’t do this right now! like i said i have stuff to do. we can talk tomorrow about this.” chan tried reaching for his bag again just for jisung to push his hand away and yell at him with wide eyes.

“dude no way! tonight’s the full moon. it can’t be tomorrow, what are you not getting?” jisung was begging him, pleading for chan to stay in and not go out.

“jisung please, i can’t deal with this right now. i just made first line and i’m going to hang out with seungmin. everything in my life is somewhat okay right now, so why are you trying to mess that up for me?”

“i’m trying to help chan.” jisung sat down and now chan was the one hovering over jisung. jisung looked defeated in his desk chair and chan almost felt bad, it didn’t last long though. “you’re cursed, and its not just gonna make you physically change when the full moon hits. it’s also when your bloodlust is at its peak.”

“my bloodlust?”

“yeah, your urge to kill.” chan groaned and turned his body away from his friend, grabbing the bag once again and putting it on. jisung grabbed a book in front of him and started reading from it.

“the change can be caused by anger or anything that raises your pulse.” chan pushed his hair aside that fell over his eyes and jisung spoke again.

“and if you ask me chan, its a bad idea all together to hang out with seungmin and go to areum’s! you could hurt yourself or someone else.” jisung had the same look in his eyes again and chan was just fed up that he didn’t even bother to answer him. jisung was quick to jump in front of the door and stop chan from leaving. jisung was silently asking chan to stay and let him help. it did nothing but annoy him. chan grabbed jisung’s shirt and pinned the boy between him and the door, while holding his fist up like he would punch his best friend. jisung didn’t know what was happening and neither did chan. chan didn’t want to punch jisung, let alone touch the boy in a harmful way. it was surprising. he wanted his friend to feel safe and welcome when he was with him. but jisung just wouldn’t stop talking and now chan was agitated. he let jisung go and chan turned away and held his backpack straps in his hands walking back and jisung moved away from the door to let him leave.

“i’m so sorry sung i-“ chan began but jisung beat him to it.

“it’s fine, just go. i’ll see you at the party.” chan looked at his friend and a frown reached his face. chan felt like shit and it was his fault that jisung was acting like this.

“i’m sorry.”

chan still felt bad after the thing with jisung but he took the keys from his mom and drove to the address seungmin sent him. after the second boy got in the car, they drove off to areum’s with small talk and good music. chan and seungmin walked through the sea of people littering the host’s house, they stopped near the pool and seungmin stopped to say hi to someone, chan looked over at everyone and saw someone standing near a gate.

lee minho stood by the entrance with a dog barking behind him. chan didn’t know why the older man was at a high schooler’s party but he had more important things to do rather than wonder about older men. seungmin and chan made their way to the dance area and let the music take over. they both danced and let the music have its way with their bodies. letting it take over to let them have a good time and enjoy themselves at the party. chan was dancing with some of his friends from freshman year and looked over to the house. he saw areum and jackson dancing together, or more like her moving and him attacking her neck with his mouth. chan continued dancing with all his friends and seungmin until his head started pounding. he felt like he was gonna be sick, chan’s head hurt and his heart was racing. whenever anyone bumped into or even slightly touched chan, he’d freeze up. his body reacting on its own. the music was suddenly too loud and everyone was too close for comfort.

“chan, are you okay?” seungmin asked him while dragging him away from the group of people to hopefully calm the boy down. it did the exact opposite though, chan heard everything a little bit clearer now that seungmin was talking directly to him. he could hear his friends heartbeat steadily beating, along with the smell of gum that seungmin had chewed on before coming to areum’s. chan’s eyes dragged to seungmin’s hand that was clutching his forearm. his skin felt like it was on fire and he needed some fresh air or cold water.

“i’ll be right back,” chan stated to what he thinks was seungmin. the room was spinning, and chan was very dizzy. his head felt heavy on his shoulders and he couldn’t even blink properly. chan felt like he was dying. he couldn’t breathe. he almost reached for his inhaler but remember he hadn’t brought it.

“hey, chan? you okay dude?” jisung had pressed a hand to chan’s shoulder as he passed by but chan didn’t stop. he barely recognized who it was. the only giveaway being his friends grey hair.

chan thought he was going to pass out at any second. the room wouldn’t stop moving and he didn’t know where he was going. a few other kids had asked chan if was okay but his mouth wouldn’t open. no sounds were coming out and he didn’t know what was happening to him. chan felt a bead of sweat roll down his temple and he reached to wipe it away. he passed by others, trying not to knock over drinks but he really didn’t care that much. his main priority was to get out of there. he reached for his keys once he was out of the house and scrambled down the few steps leading up to areum’s house. seungmin wasn’t far behind and he followed to try and found out what chan was doing. chan felt a bit better after meeting fresh air that wasn’t surrounded by other people and didn’t smell like sweat. he got in his car and turned the ignition, he chest felt warm and he just wanted to get home. chan needed to be home right now.

the drive wasn’t easy but manageable. chan slammed the door shut and dragged his feet up the stairs. the jacket he was wearing was soon on the floor along with his shoes. he fell to the ground and started heaving. chan felt like he was having an asthma attack and he couldn’t remember where he put his inhaler. the window in his room was wide open and the light from the full moon was hitting chan straight on. he closed his eyes and made his body move to the bathroom. every cell, very molecule molecule in chan’s body felt like it was on fire and ice at the same time. he was freezing and burning up and wanted nothing more than to just scream. the cold water from the shower head did nothing to calm his nerves. his hands that clutched the sides of the tub felt like they were being stabbed. chan dared to look and he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. his finger nails were growing, and at an impossible speed. they grew into claws and he rushed to get out of the tub once the same feeling hit his mouth. he looked in the mirror and opened his mouth to see that in fact his canines were no longer their regular shape, but resembled those of a wolf. his brown eyes turned yellow, an almost glowing eerie color. chan was officially scared, a sudden knock brought chan out of it.

“chan?” it was jisung. he must have followed him

“not now jisung, go away.” he limped to the door.

“chan, it’s jisung! let me in, i promise i can help.” the boy promised and chan was prepared to let his friend in and help until he remembered what jisung said earlier about hurting others.

“no i can’t, you know i can’t. i don’t wanna hurt you.” he inhaled and held it for five seconds before exhaling.

“chan! just let me in-“ jisung was pounding on the door and chan opened it slightly.

“listen jisung, please, i know who did it. but tell me, did seungmin get home safe?” jisung sighed at his friend.

“yes, yes, he got home. i saw him get a ride.” there was a pause like jisung was still processing the words chan had uttered. “what do you mean you know who did it?”

chan let his head fall against the door, his wet brown hair dripping water on the floor. “it’s minho. he’s the one behind everything. he killed and hid the body, and he’s the one who bit me.” chan answered matter of factly. he figured it out a while ago and just need to piece it all together. the party just confirmed it.

“wait chan, minho was the one that drove seungmin home after you ran off.” chan swore his heart stopped beating for a second. he closed the door and jisung began pounding again. chan tore off his soaked shirt, and let all his feelings overcome him. he ripped open the curtains of his window and yanked it up. what once used to jam now moved with perfect fluidity. he was surprised by his own strength. it didn’t last long though because he jumped out and landed on the ground, feet parallel and head down. his emotions were running haywire but he just let his gut have the chance to lead him and took off where ever he thought he was needed. chan’s ears elongated and he felt his cheeks slightly itch. he hoped jisung would go check on seungmin to make sure the boy got home safely. but chan could worry about that later, he had things to do like find minho. he leapt throughout the town and scaled buildings when he needed to in order to get a better sense of where he was headed. chan’s feet carried him away and he was brought back to the woods from this morning and when he got bit. chan stopped.

his breathing was hard and he felt himself take deeper breathes in order to get the air into his body. his eye sight was messed up and didn’t look normal and yet he could see perfectly. he followed his nose and let it guide him. chan focused his hearing and closed his eyes to try and hear more. the sound of an engine turning off made chan stop, and he looked around to try and find which direction it was coming from. sudden shouts all around chan made his yellow eyes glow and he took off again. a body came into chan’s peripheral and before he could see who it was clearly, it came at him full force. the wind was knocked out of him. he struggled to his feet.

“minho? what are you doing here? wait, is seungmin safe?!” the second question thrown at minho made him growl, he was agitated and now he had to deal with some teen wolf. minho held onto chan’s shoulder to force the boy to look into his eyes. minho could tell that chan was burning up, his fingers that rested on the boys shoulders were warm. chan tried hitting the boys hands off of him but that just made the grip even tighter. the sound of someone walking near the pair made them both tense up and minho dragged chan to somewhere out of sight from the people in the woods.

“alright look dumbass, i’ve been watching over you for the past few days to see how the bite affected you and you were doing alright so far. but i knew that tonight would be hard,” minho paused too look up at the moon and pointed with his index finger. “and now that we’re here, we’re in trouble cause you can’t keep your cool and managed to hit all the basic no-no’s in the how to be a werewolf checklist. so i’m here to clean up your mess. plus those are hunters out there hunting us and i don’t know about you, but dying wasn’t on my agenda tonight. also the kid is safe, i took him home.”

“okay i can agree with that and thank god.” chan and minho went to the right and started running but it was too late. they were caught in the crossfire and red lasers were pointed at both boys. minho was calm and collected but chan was starting to freak out. minho was trying to reason with them but they had guns. people like that tended to have the upper hand in these sort of situations. chan couldn’t even hear what they were saying, the sound of his heartbeat seemed too loud in his own ears. minho’s hand was still holding chan’s arm and suddenly he let go to push the boy out of the way. the sound of gunshots and arrows whizzing past chan made him come back to reality and he heard minho yell at him,

“watch your eyes chan! close them!” minho was desperate for chan to listen but it was too late and chan looked directly at the arrow that hit a tree. it blew up and the bright light seared his brain. it made him want to claw his eyes out. he rubbed at his eyes and kept running. an arrow came from behind him and pierced his lower arm. minho growled and tried to get the hunters off of chan. chan’s arm was bleeding and he looked down to see the arrow sticking out of his arm on both sides. he let out a shaky breath and minho came running over, he grabbed his hurt arm and put pressure near his elbow to restrict the blood flow while he pulled it out. “the healing will kick in, just give it a few.” he pulled it out and chan groaned, the relief setting in. their was no more pain and minho pulled chan from his thoughts when they started running again. chan held his arm and they made it close to the edge of the woods.

“who were those guys?” chan questioned trying to catch his breath.

“hunters,” minho said simply.

“what?”

“how else am i supposed to explain this to you?” minho groaned. “people with guns, bad. you and me, not bad. yeah, you got it? and if you don’t get it, you’ll end up dead.” minho placed his hands on chan’s shoulders to make the younger boy look him in the eyes. “also, why are you not wearing a shirt?” he tapped chan’s chest and the other boy laughed. “chan listen to me. this is serious, i know this isn’t what you envisioned for you self but this is your life now. whether you like it or not. we’re brothers now.”

chan sighed but nodded, understanding most of what was happening. minho stood up and pulled chan to his feet, the pair walked towards the road. the sun was beginning to rise. chan called jisung and thanked god when said boy was on his way to pick him up. minho made small talk and the two waited together, guards still high just in case. jisung pulled up and chan climbed in the blue jeep after thanking minho and telling him to get home safely.

“so what happened?” jisung questioned after giving chan a shirt. the brown headed boy sighed and felt all his muscles begin to ache as he moved around to get comfortable in the seat.

“you were right, i’m a werewolf.”

“i would say i told you so but i don’t want you to beat my ass so.” jisung laughed and chan joined him. the pair kept driving until chan was dropped off at his home. the weekend was spent trying to get sleep and finishing up his homework. school on monday was brutal. the entire weekend was spent in wallowing in guilt and chan was unable to think of what to say to seungmin.

it didn’t matter though because as soon as chan saw him the words came pouring out of him like he was some sort of leaking faucet. “seungmin, i’m so sorry about everything.”

“i know, it okay. can i ask what happened though?” seungmin locked eyes with chan as they sat in astronomy together. class hadn’t started yet.

“i got sick?” chan tried and seungmin laughed, sitting back in his chair. chan offered a small smile in return, feeling a bit better.

“yeah okay, are we still friends though?” seungmin almost pouted and chan wanted nothing more than to reassure the boy that being his friend was all he wanted.

“of course, always.” chan genuinely smiled and turned around once the bell rang.

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strawberryspeachy · 4 years

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So when i watched death note in high school it made me curious about real japanese police work. I read about it alot and came to the conclusion that their justice system isnt too great.

Im currently upset that a coworker who i took as a friend - not only disliked me all along - but went as far as to lie about me to get me in trouble. That no one cared to hear my side. That i was fired on the spot. That people turned their back on me immediately. That no one cares.

Well. 17 year old me would have said. But of course. In Japan your guilty until proven innocent. That japanese put on a show but dont truely like most people. That they band together and will go out of their way to avoid any kind of conflict. That they care more about a pretty appearance than solving anything. 17 year old me that only heard and read about Japan knew these things. 17 year old me imagined this cool different country that works because theyre proud of this... performance way that they live. And i was amused by it. All i knew was america and european history. I was so hungry for something different. I was so interested in different people.

Then I went to Japan. I got here and it was too similar to manga. How silly, i thought, those a comics - i didnt actually expect the country to be like those comics. And ive never really been able to place what that made me feel but id grown past this bemusement of different “alien like” people. Theyre just people who live in another country i thought. I dont like america and our norms. I know nothing but america but i dont agree with any of our steriotypes. You cant describe me the way most would try to describe a typical american. So why would people from any other country be different. Im sure theres people like the sterotype - but certainly more not at all like that.

And i got here and i watched the smiles on service workers slowly fade when they thought no one was watching. I watched children put trash where it didnt belong thinking no one was watching. I was girls laugh loudly and run around and yell at their boyfriends. I watched drunk college kids hollar and reak havoc in the city. Not robot people, not obedient children, not, quiet and demure girls listening to the men, not studious students worried about their reputation. Just people. The same people i saw back home.

And so i thought. Its the same. Different history. Varrying values. Same old people - judgmental and watching everyone ready to scold them if they deem it necessary.

But that guilty until prooven innocent thing. The fact that the old way of caring about your reputation is still a solid work practice.

These things. Make me feel like... i guess.... to my dissapointment. Maybe america really is more free...

I dont want that to be true. The us is so full of itself. Just like healthcare. I want universal health care to be a good thing and at very least in japan its not really. Its better. Its more affordable. Maybe their problem is just how much they hate drugs and thats what stops real care.

But. Ive always been a cautious person - i just dont want to get in trouble. But ive never thought id be in a situation i couldnt talk my way out of - because i dont do anything super bad. Maybe sometimes ive pressed the limits - but never outside of... like i drank underage. I tried to get into bars i wasnt old enough for. Ive dodged paying for the train fare. Dumb things. Things that the worse that would happen is i gotta pay it somehow or id get scolded. Drinking under age is against us law but its almost never taken too seriously.

But its occurred to me. Yeah. In japan it is guilty until prooven innocent. I really could have gotten in legal trouble for baseless allegations.

And japan is as racist and people say. Theyre friendly and try to talk to you in english and say nice things. And it doesnt seem like racism to a person from the states. Out racist look at you with digust. They wont touch you. They wont talk to you. They dont want to know about you

But here... it takes the form of a racist parent who grew up in the 50s and knows that theyre not supposed to be racist but still is.

Theyre welcoming and friendly to your face but talk shit behind your back. They ask a bunch of questions like (in america “where are you really from”) they refuse to accept you might actually belong. They constantly want to assert how different you are so instesd of telling you that your different - they ask questions or explain what theyre doing. And if you say ‘yes we also do this’ they react with disbeleif - what? No! You couldnt possibly get this - this is our thing and you are not us! And they constantly ask if you miss your home. Assume that you’re uncomfortable because they are. Also also. Instred of not wanting to touch you here - theyre much more willing to push you out of the way

Theres many mixed race kids here now though. I assume theyll have to do the same thing that happened in America. I havent met any mixed race adults but ive met plenty of white dads.... all trying super hard to assimilate to the point that they walk around talking like robots. Swearing that everything japan is great and they dont miss their home cointries at all. Pretty similar to the immigrants of america from when my mom was a kid.

So i still think at least for japan. Theyre way more similar to the west than they think they are. But these restricting regulations that they live by... really does make the country seem not as free as id ignorantly beleived it was.

It surprised me because their rules are so much like the way my great grandmother talked about stuff. And while were supposed to care... we just dont in the states. Respect your employer? Sure we say we do to their face but talk shit with coworkers. Worry about your reputation? Eh think im a bitch i dont give a fuck whatcha gonna do about it? Nothing thats right. Dont like another person? No one cares. Like that person or dont - it doesnt change anyone elses relationship with them. Make a mistake? Well if your boss fires you - everyone already probably thinks their an asshole cause generally mistakes are just met with some form of dickwaving belittlement. Pretty sure most of us get mad everytime we hear a story about someone getting fired because they posted a picture of them in a bikiki or having fun - most of this generation agrees thats dumb and has to change.

I feel more like an american now than ever. Americans are reluctant to change im told. Yes. I suppose we are. We might not know the rest of the worlds history but we kinda know our own. And as much as ive alwags agreed with the sentiment that cultures are different and thats just the way they want to be.... we used to be these ways but decided it was restrictive and controlling and mentally abusive and fought it...

Ive been reading more about the work culture in japan to figure out how he fuck this went so wrong. Apparently when young japanese people enter the work force, they cant even have friends as distractions outside of work because their boss will move them away from home.

Ive already read that japanese think suffering is good and seniority and witness first hand their preoccupation of appearing busy over actually being productive. Its just this constant performance.

Perhaps i did stress him out to the point of physical pain. I remember having a massive meltdown where i shook and it felt like my brain was melting after i tried so hard to be a good nice person. I did whag people apparently like. I changed myself to just agree with people and be positive and assume the best in everyone. Then my “friend” told me that i was a bad friend because i asked them if they would people drive their friends home so i could to sleep at 4am. And the two things just didnt click. I didnt go to sleep that night. I sat at my desk shaking for the next 5 hours and having flashbacks.

Im talkative. I talk as much as i do here in real life. And i have alot of questions. I talked to him a lot. Made him look not busy. I know he liked talking to me. I know he did. Thats why i got confortable talking more. He was always surprised when i asked him questions about himself but once he started answering he kept talking. Yeah. Its nice to have someone ask you what your thoughts are on topics. What your experiences have been. Did you like those things or not. I know japan it a group think culture - i guess they get there by really draining out ANY idea of individualality. He told me hed never been asked what he likes about himself. In the us were asked that constantly from elementary school “what do you like about yourself. What do you like about your friend. What makes you different?”

It kinda baffles me... questions and thoughts like these are so common in anime.... and obviously anime is popular in japan. Obviously obviously. Im confused how theyre watching these programs often with such deep meanings.... and not taking anything away from them. In the states our tv programs are always being restricted and stuff because they might give us “bad ideas” but they aren’t restricted here and yet... it seems no one takes anything from them

When i visited japan in 2013 i saw a teenage girl in huge heels lose her balance and stomp on a middle aged womans foot. That woman had already been standing like her feet were in pain and she made a face of being in so much pain. The girl rudely didn’t apologize and the older woman said nothing. She smiled through her pain...

And i also complained to my coworker. Not full on complaining. The small ones you make at work when youre not sure of the extent you can go to. At first he held off like the other teachers. But. Then. He started complaining back. It got to me not needing to be the one say an annoyance first. Like i asked how his meeting was. Other people i worked with might leave it ah it was a bit slow but necessary. And he started that way. But instead he started responding to me a succession of statements the slowly crept more toward his real feelings. ‘It was good... we didnt do much... or anything, i just sat and listened and took notes. we dont learn anything, it takes up a lot of time but we have to go. I dont like those meetings. I dont know their pupose... but were told to go so we must’

Whatever. Im just gonna keep rambling and complaining about this cause it sucks and is awful. Contracted woth my company i wasnt allowed to publically critisize japan. I imagine thats why you dont often find many things on the internet complaining. You will literally be unemployable if your name is attached to critisisms of this country.

Where as everyone can come to the states and tell us to our faces how much we suck and how much cooler their countries are. And generally the younger general is just kinda like - ‘you right’ people write articles all the time shit talking the states and we just go ‘ya we deserve that’ we do. Im not saying dont do that... but like... maybe just maybe. Were doing the good thing where were like

Haha call us fat! We are fat. We love us some mcdonalds. Hm.... why though. Actually we need to fix that. Why are people eating so unhealthy? What is the underlying cause of this problem? Lets try to work on that - and then we fight amoungst ourselves.

I like that... i like thay thing we do

In the states you might not want to become a ‘whistleblower’ and in some industrys you might get black listed for something dumb. But at least we talk about it and agree its a problem. In japan no one wants to even admit they have problems.

Know what else i told him. I talked about how were overworked in the states. That our work culture has gotten too similar to japans and we hate it. No one working 80 hour weeks thinks that they should have to do that. Of course i didnt go about it that way. I told him that my friends back home work 80 hour weeks and its unhealthy. That i cant work that much and refuse to. He i imagine counted how many hours he works and laughed and i said - oh haha yea i guess you also work that much. And he looked so much like he wanted to cry about it in the same way my friends back home. But said its natural in japan and that hes gotten used to it. But he definitely didnt mean it as he said it. I told him my friends say that as well. That i think theyre workaholics and i personally cant do it. That when work calls them they always pick up the phone even when they dont want to. But i dont do that. When my job called me as a server id ignore it and call them back later when it was too late for me to be asked to come in and ask them what they wanted.

Maybe to him my stories felt like when i read about students in europe being allowed to not go to school without reprucussions. It made HAVING to go to school evem more annoying. Why cant we choose to take breaks? I heard that place doesnt have homework - meanwhile im given at least 6 hours work a night! Not everyone has to do this? Other places learn things for fun?? They dont have to keep up with standardized exams that dont account for different teachers and school districts?? A 50% in that country isnt a failing grade???

Those were already shitty things but to read about them not bein universal did make having to endure it more upsetting.

Doesnt change that im stoll upset with him for not saying anything to me. Doesnt change that im mad that he made stuff up.

Really me rambling on about this doesnt change my presepective on any of it. Im just bitching

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restlessmaknae · 6 years

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Walking on thin ice // I. (Im)possible

Baleful powers and icy hearts collide and no one knows what would come out of it. A girl who doesn’t want to be seen and a boy who desperately wants to be seen.

❄ Pairing: Jack Frost!Yoongi (BTS) x Elsa!Joohyun (Red Velvet’s Irene)

❄ Supporting roles: Joonmyun (EXO) as Santa; Kibum (SHINee) as Easter Bunny; Hayoung (APink) as Tooth Fairy; Mark (GOT7) as Sandman; Yerim (Red Velvet) as Anna; Myungjun (ASTRO) as Daylight

❄ Basics’ post: setting & long summary & cast

❄ Genre: angst, drama, fluff, fantasy

❄ Chapters: I. ❄ II. ❄ III. ❄ IV. ❄ V. ❄ VI. ❄ VII.

Look what you did to her! You can’t do anything but to hurt people. You are a monster.

Said the loud, intriguing voice in Bae Joohyun’s head and even though she tried her best, she couldn’t shake off that unwanted feeling that was slowly engulfing her. It was like she was listening to her thoughts through an earphone without being able to hit the ‘stop’ button. The words were haunting her, whispering into her ears wherever she went. She couldn’t get rid of them, the voice got louder and louder as time went by.

What have I done? She gulped as she rose from her seat beside the bed and shifted her gaze to the pale, tiny body in the giant hospital bed. The young girl’s eyes were closed, looking like a baby as she was sleeping safe and safe. Her breaths were steady and uninterrupted. The sight of her little sister unharmed made her relaxed for a few minutes. Yerim is okay. For now.

She looked at Yerim for the last time, her eyes going over every single detail of the girl’s growing body. The long, chestnut brown curls of her hair, the usually blushing red cheekbones that were paler than ever, the little freckles on her nose and the bracelet around her wrist which represented their strong family bond. Only two little letters were written on the material; A and E. Anna and Elsa – their childhood nicknames.

She looked at her own bracelet and made an attempt to take it off. She didn’t want Yerim to be connected to her in any way anymore. How could she hurt her little sister? She had no idea how to control herself when was panicked or even slightly anxious and it was only a matter of time someone would get hurt. Joohyun would never ever hurt anyone on purpose, especially not her beloved little sister. She couldn’t risk another outburst. She had to leave her behind. She had to protect her and only by being away from her, could she make sure that she was safe.

First, it seemed that Joohyun wouldn’t be able to get rid of that oh so familiar bracelet that she hadn’t taken off ever since they got the pair of jewellery from their parents. However, as she strained harder, she managed to succeed in a matter of seconds. Then, she put it on the bedside table with trembling hands, still trying to cling onto for a few seconds. But as Yerim suddenly snored louder, she knew she had to go.

She can’t see me. She sighed heavily as the thought nestled into her mind. She glanced at Yerim’s sleeping figure one more time and hurried out of the room as quickly as she could. She didn’t want to imagine Yerim’s heartbroken expression when she finds out that her sister was no longer there with her. Yet, Joohyun tried to reassure herself that it would be the best for both of them if she left.

You are dangerous. You can’t be around people. You need to hide. These words wormed their ways into her thoughts more and more frequently; she wasn’t able to escape from the sneaky voice in her head. It was stronger, louder and more malicious than ever.

Small wonder she trembled like a leaf as she left the hospital, hoping that she would never need to come back. She hated hospitals and everything that was related to hospitals – the horrible smell, the blinding white walls, the lip nibbling of the patients and the unpleasant memories that chained her to the place.

She was wandering around for minutes, not knowing where to go to find solace. How could she find a shelter when she was her own enemy? When she was a ticking time bomb that could explode any minute? How could she remain calm and composed? How, how, how?

In the end, she decided to sit down on an abandoned bench near the Han River. Luckily, nobody was around, she was completely alone for the time being.

Joohyun sighed with relief and watched the crystal-clear water in its usual peace and tranquillity. Gosh, how much she wanted to have her old life back! She wasn’t the happiest person on Earth but she was fond of her ordinary life as a twenty-one-year-old college student. Now, everything was falling apart. Her life changed in a blink of an eye and the glass bead of her old self fell to the ground and scattered into tiny pieces. What was she supposed to do? Was she even able to fix anything? Or should she merely start a new life and accept her destiny? Be ready that worse was still yet to come?

She was so lost in thought that she could barely notice that someone sat down on the bench beside her. She didn’t look sideways but hoped that the stranger would leave soon. She was craving some time alone because she was terrified that she would hurt more people after her own sister. Yerim was in the hospital because she couldn’t control her power and it was the cruellest way to pay a price for having such an ominous ability. Freezing things was supposed to be fun, most people would think this way. However, unleashing powers by accident and striking your little sister in the heart is not fun at all. Joohyun almost died of shame and regret when Yerim collapsed in front of her. Her feelings were totally out of control and the more she was afraid to hurt her, the more pain she had caused.

Suddenly, the stranger got to his feet and Joohyun drew another sigh. Although she thought that he would leave, he started walking back and forth, right in front of her. She noticed that the young man wasn’t wearing shoes and had light clothes despite the chilly weather of an afternoon in November.

“I give up. She can’t see me.” He muttered in a low, manly tone which surprised Joohyun because she imagined a much more gentle and youthful voice to the odd-looking boy. He looked like an innocent teenager with his pale skin, blonde hair and shabby clothes but sounded like a grandpa. Was he dressed up as a character from an anime? Was he going to a roleplay?

Joohyun looked up from her intertwined hands, furrowing her eyebrows in question. She didn’t know if she should speak up or not but there’s no way the boy was talking about anyone else considering that they were the only two people around.

“Are you talking about me?” She inquired indignantly, tilting her head in contemplation.

To her surprise, her question almost scared the hell out of the boy. He visibly bounced a little as he realised that she was talking to him. He seemed to search for the right words to say as he hesitated for some seconds. Though those seconds were more than enough for her to check him out.

He was indeed a young guy, probably around the juvenile age of twenty yet there was something really peculiar about him. At first, Joohyun couldn’t pinpoint what it was, yet she almost facepalmed when she realized the most interesting feature about him. Apart from his bare feet, the most striking thing about this guy was his icy, ocean blue eyes. They were so cold and lifeless, stern like winter itself and deep like the Pacific Ocean. His eyes looked old like they kept hundreds of years of horror and wisdom in them. It was scary. Plus, why was everyone so fond of dying their hair almost-white-blonde these days?

“Look…” The boy started awkwardly as he ran a hand through his messy hair. There was an undoubtedly embarrassing pause after his sudden exclamation. “Me and my friend, Tooth−“ He continued quickly but bit his lower lip as said Tooth’s name out loud.

Joohyun gave him a frowning look, not sure who the hell was he and what on Earth he might have wanted from her. She was certain she had never ever seen anyone like him before. She would have remembered such an odd figure. He was already suspicious looking like a homeless kid, he didn’t have to mention a friend whose name was Tooth to make her regret her choice of striking a conversation with him.

Though the continuation was more than enough for her to make her move.

“So Hayoung and I saw what had happened.” The white-haired guy confessed absent-mindedly, shrugging like he was talking about his grocery list, not the fact that he and another person had seen what Joohyun could do with her unwanted power.

Bang. Saying that she was shocked would have been an understatement. She was thrilled, her heart almost missed a beat. But as soon as she got back to her senses, she jolted up and started running away from the boy as fast as she could. If he was going to hurt her, she could still use her power to stop him. Even though she didn’t exactly know how to control it, the guy probably didn’t know about this little detail.

“Please, let me explain it!” The boy shouted after her as he tried to catch up with her. Unbeknownst to her, he was much faster and appeared exactly in front of the terrified girl a second later. He looked like he was trying to plead but Joohyun had no time for solidarity, nor silly questioning. She needed to get away from him as soon as possible. If he knew something, she was up for no good.

That’s why she turned around right away and started walking in the opposite direction. Nevertheless, the boy was pretty fast, so he was by her side by the next second.

“I didn’t do it on purpose, okay?” She exclaimed furiously, furrowing her eyebrows in a not-so-subtle way. She was already on the edge due to the events a day before, so he wanted nothing else but to hide away from the world and herself. Yet, it seemed that if the accident wasn’t already enough, she also had to deal with a clingy stranger. “You can report it but I’m not going to jail.” She stated fervently, her voice shaking a bit.

The boy looked puzzled for a moment but still maintained the eye-contact, looking like the type who would examine her by looking fiercely into her eyes.

“No, you don’t get it. I’m just trying to help.” He raised his arms defensively, making an attempt to clear the tension in the air. The fierce sparks in his eyes proved that he was speaking the truth yet she couldn’t believe any stranger who witnessed what she was capable of. She knew the situation too well. I’m just trying to help. Sure. But was he even able to help her? Was there anyone out there who could help her?

“Oh yeah, sure.” Joohyun snorted way too mockingly. “By taking me to a mental institute or something like that? Or using me as a weapon for the government? No, thanks!” She grumbled angrily, rolling her eyes at the boy’s intentions.

She already felt the anger boiling up inside her and her heart rushing dull. As she noticed the frustration rushing through her body and uncomfortable chills running down her spine, she stiffly put her hands into her pocket. She didn’t want to strike the boy in the heart, even though he was kind of getting on her nerves. She wouldn’t be able to live with more blood on her hands.

“No, you really don’t−“

“I’m warning you!” She immediately cut him off because there was no use of listening to a weird stranger’s misinterpretation. Maybe that white-haired, icy eyed guy was crazier than ever. “Go away or I’ll use my power to make you!” She blurted out without giving much thought, yet she tried her best to sound as confident as possible.

However, the anime-like guy didn’t seem to take the threat too seriously. He raised one of his eyebrows in question and stated out of the blue:

“You can’t even control it!” He scoffed like he was belittling her power. Joohyun was taken aback by his behaviour. Who was he to talk so casually about something so mysterious and inexplicable? Who was he to know about such things? Was he a specialist in supernatural powers? Was he even aware of the seriousness of the whole situation? Or did he think that it was fun because it was only a game for him? If he attempted to piss her off, he definitely succeeded.

“What makes you think that? Are you a stalker or something?” She grunted at him, trying to scare him away. What if he was just toying with her to see if she was responding the way he wanted?

“Do you really want to know?” He snapped back, nervously massaging his temples. Oh Lord! No, obviously not, that’s why I asked! She glared at him, edgily gritting her teeth. What on Earth could he want from her?

“What? You know what? No, I don’t want to know. Just get lost for God’s sake!” She cried out in horror and was about to break down in front of that weirdo. After all, she was just a twenty-one-year-old girl who had previously discovered that she could freeze things and create icicles and snowflakes with her bare hands. Unfortunately, she couldn’t figure out how to use her powers safely. For starters, she hurt some innocent pedestrians who slipped on the frozen puddles which she had created when she was trying out her unknown abilities. After that, she hurt her own sister because she wasn’t able to control the explosions. It was too much for her at once. It hadn’t been even a week or so that she found out about her ability and she had already caused so much pain.

On top of that, there was that anime-like guy with his constant questioning who was slowly driving her crazy. Half of what he had said didn’t make any sense. Or at least, not to her and she was too tired to make an attempt to understand what he was trying to do with her.

“My name is Min Yoongi but most people know me as Jack Frost.” He announced flatly, looking incredibly bored like he had said the exact same introduction for the hundredth times already. He even yawned in annoyance!

Joohyun couldn’t have been more dumbfounded. Did he really expect to know any Min Yoongi? Let alone a so-called Jack Frost? Was he really going to a MondoCon as she assumed? Was Jack Frost an anime character?

“Well, it does ring a bell but I’m not sure. Are you a famous therapist?” Joohyun guessed with a shrug of her shoulder. That Yoongi guy was more than hurt by her response. He gasped like he was some world famous superstar that she hadn’t heard of. Oh please, she had enough drama to deal with lately, she didn’t need to deal with people like him.

“No.” He shook his head after he got over his sulking. “I’m a Guardian.”

“A what?” She yelped, trying hard not to laugh out loud. Yeah, sure, that boy was a guardian. But a guardian of what? The British Queen? And what was that supposed to do with his offer to help her?

“A Guardian.” He repeated impatiently, pronouncing the world slowly and clearly like he assumed that she was merely too stupid to know the meaning of the word. She rolled her eyes in response. “Along with Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, Sandman and Santa Claus. I believe I don’t have to introduce them but I’m the Guardian of Fun and I’m capable of manipulating ice and snow.” He added with a mischievous smile and Joohyun had to realize that this was the first time she saw him smiling. She couldn’t deny there was something far too attractive about the small curves of his lips but when she noticed she was staring at him, she shifted her gaze to the ground instead.

“So… you’re like me?” She whispered coyly instead of making a total idiot out of herself for gazing at him. There was an uncomfortable pause after her sudden question and when that Jack guy finally spoke, his voice came out hoarse.

“Well, we’re still not sure what are you and why do you have the ability to freeze things…” He suddenly stopped, probably not sure what to say but then, he cleared his throat and continued. “But yeah, we’re quite the same. Except that I’m more than 300 years old and exactly know how to control my power.”

Joohyun nearly fainted after the jaw-dropping confession. She had to close her eyes for a second to straighten her thoughts. It was too much for her. It was all too much. She wanted to reassure herself that all he said was a big, fat lie. There was not even a bloody person on Earth who could have been more than 300 years old! It was just too surreal and unbelievable. On the other hand, everything seemed to be possible after she had realised that she was able to freeze things and create snow. That seemed impossible a week before but now she had to come to terms with her newfound power and all its downhills.

“Prove it!” Joohyun spoke up abruptly, wanting to see for herself if he said the truth or lied the whole dawn time. “Show me what you can do!”

The Guardian didn’t seem to mind her request yet he carefully looked left and right before he reached his hand out and pointed at a puddle which slowly froze. If it wasn’t enough of an evidence, he walked one step closer and created tiny snowflakes above Joohyun’s head. She stared at him open-mouthed, not knowing what would be appropriate to say in such a situation. She was ready to confront him if he was bluffing but she wasn’t ready to face him if he told the truth for real.

“O-okay…” She murmured embarrassedly while looking into the boy’s eyes which were full of mischievous playfulness. He enjoyed it, she realised. He was capable of such an ominous thing and he was smiling! How could he to do that? To know that he can hurt others with his power? Still, he remained totally calm and reassuring. His eyes had these bright sparks which looked like little shooting stars hovering on the sky.

“Well, I know it’s a little too much but I’m really trying to help. Once, I was in your shoes and I know it’s not easy.” That Jack guy explained suddenly much more patient than ever, however Joohyun suddenly felt cornered. It was all too much at once. It was all too sudden.

“I don’t need help, guide whatsoever Frost−“ She said ironically, it was her way to defend her. She started building defensive walls around herself, so that no one would get in. After what had happened to Yerim, she knew she shouldn’t get close to anyone. She wanted to persuade herself that she didn’t need help but obviously she did. She was just too afraid and headstrong to admit it.

“Excuse me!” The boy looked puzzled after her sudden change of mind but at the same time he seemed more worked up because of his new nickname. Joohyun knew that she was probably too much but she was more than devastated by the fear that she could hurt him. She didn’t in the least intend to do so even though he was confusing her more than ever. But she really didn’t know how to deal with her power and that’s why she tried to push him away.

“I’m serious. Get lost!” She tried to dismiss him while she ruffled her hair in frustration but immediately put her hands back into her pocket. She was almost pleading because she didn’t want to take more shame and pain.

“You really want to learn the hard way?” The Jack guy looked at her, making his doubt clear. A half-knowing, half-confused look came into his eyes while his voice was full of clumsy fondness.

“You really don’t get it?” Joohyun yelled agitatedly, her voice slightly shaking. She couldn’t hold herself back, not anymore. Everything that happened to her in the previous weeks was weighing down on her and she wanted to shake off those painful memories so badly.

“I’m dangerous, I can hurt you. Well, I don’t want to but I still can. Look what happened to my sister! I didn’t want to hurt her but I freaked out and that thing just came out of my hands and it stroke her in the heart. And now she’s in the emergency room and doctors are still trying to save her life…” She freaked out, her whole body trembling with great fear. The sudden outburst wasn’t intended but under the pressure of the boy’s demanding gaze, she couldn’t help herself. She needed to let it out.

When your biggest enemy is your own mind, it’s hard to fight it. She also wanted to tell those voices in her head to shut up but they wouldn’t listen. So, she wanted to push him away before things get even more out of control.

“I appreciate your effort but it’s for your own sake. Believe me, you don’t want to be by my side.” Joohyun shook her head decisively but Jack looked persistent. He seemed more than confident, hands still tugged into his pockets, looking straight into her eyes.

“It’s up to me whether I would like to be by your side or not.” He declared stiffly and dropped a sigh in insecurity. Joohyun assumed that she scared him enough yet he didn’t show any sign of fear. He didn’t even budge.

The more she stared at him, the more her heart started to thump. She felt the blood running through her veins, the voices in her head screaming even louder and more furiously. Her hands began to shake. She couldn’t take it anymore; the fear overcame her confidence and before she could realise what she was doing, she defensively held her hands up in front of her face and felt the usual energy which came when creating something icy. Oh no!

She shifted her attention to the boy who was holding an icicle in his hands, eyes widened in both surprise and relief. Joohyun brought her hands to her mouth, not sure what to say or do. However, Jack Frost seemed perfectly calm and unharmed, thus he was the first to break the silence.

“You see, I can take care of myself.” He admitted with a smug grin, throwing away the already melting icicle. When their eyes met, his gaze wasn’t resentful, not even a little but her heart wasn’t at peace. Even though she didn’t hurt him this time, she could still have. “Come on! I’ll take you somewhere and teach you how to control your power.” He offered matter-of-factly but he didn’t even show sympathy or care. He was just a boy who tried to help but not even in the least intended to get emotionally closer to her. Well, that’s good for me, right? No emotions, no doubts.

Jack Frost reached his hand out to her and she only hesitated for a moment before she took it. When you think that you’re a monster, you feel that there’s no one whom you can trust. Not even yourself. So how you can trust someone who’s just as distant and cold-hearted as you are?

The answer is pretty easy: you can’t. But you still have to.

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aneixart · 2 years

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It daytime im driving and there is this stop ahead I press the break and press harder it doesn't seem like I'm going to stop there is this car ahead I go in left lanes and then come to a stop I was worried about hitting him there is a car behind me I turn left over some tracks the car behind me cuts.in front from the left side and goes ahead but it seems as if we are both on wrong side we turn j parking lot. Then I get out and talk to her but our vehicles turn into bicycles we talk about the path we just took and I invite her to this group we have were we ride on trails. I'm inside this building maybe a university I'm fighting these girls there's like 5 of them but its a group made for fighting I over power them alot of times and they complain about my techniques one girl gets mad her hair is half red and she tells the other about my husband I deny I have a husband. And its on to the next group event when I see my husband I tell him I have to talk to him privately he wasn't supposed to be there he was looking for me and the girl heard him I told him I had to stay under cover because I didn't want them to attack my family or my.little girl I didn't have his last name. We walked through cafeteria and I told him how the girls thought I was a batch the first time they meet me and thought I was white because of my skin color he laughed and talked about how only if they knew my dark skinned grandparents then they'd know I was Puerto Rican. We wind up searching for puppies for some reason I remember the somewhat.lite hallways there was this drawing I saw on cookies I looked over and tried to memorize it to draw it was dark for a second then I was in the building again it was time for the next project I was supposed to make something but I thought it was so common to I made last minute changes I had this lamp and I needed to scrub the dust off screen I asked about the tools I had an hour to prepare there was this lady that appeared I m not sure who she was but we were close she had teenage girls with her and she knew what room I needed she told me to ask the man I guess director but he wasn't sure had to look for room myself I tried finding her but couldn't . I was then at the bottom of some steps one of my cousins at the top sitting with others she giggled about me being pregnant with a girl by my husband but either Noone was supposed to know yet or I didn't want to get pregnant just yet. They laughed and played around the the guy she sat next to asked my age I told him and he said I look so young and good for my age I smiled and told him I'd look younger if I took care of myself.

The bicycles reminded me of another dream I had nights ago I was looking for a bike maybe in walmart and saw all the bicycles hanging .

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indieks · 7 years

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Not So Randomly | Part 1/5

🌟 Pairing : Im Changkyun (I.M) x Reader

🌟 Genre : Fluff, Angst

🌟 Word count : 6.3k

🌟 Synopsis : Whenever you cross the path of Im Changkyun, that guy you hate and that hates you, it seems to be the worst day of your life. But, strangely enough, it also becomes the best and most accurate of moments you've ever had. So, the more you randomly end up stucked with each other, the more a question can arise : is it really chance that has something against you, or is it serendipity that drives you one towards the other?

Next Part

🌟 A/N : I know, summer is over, and we all have to go back to school or to work… that’s why I decided to post these series that start right during summer school break and continue at the uni! I’m still not sure in how many parts I’m going to divide it, I’ll see along the way and update it soon!

After my first post for BTS’ Suga, I also wanted to show that I will write for other groups and other wonderful people such as… I.M hehehehe 😏

Anyway, above all, thank you for reading, hope you enjoy it! ♥

Disclaimer : any gifs or images used, even edited, are not mine and belong to their rightful owners!

***

Summer. One word that made the kids at school go crazy while waiting for the last bell to ring, the teenagers and young adults go to the gym to tone their bodies or look for a job to spare money for some wild travel, and the parents worried for their wallets because of their need to book something far away from home so that they'll forget their workaholic life. But for you, it was one word that oddly gave you chills in spite of the heat it brought on.

It hadn't always been like that, no ; that gloomy feeling you had came when you turned fifteen. The same year you blew that additional candle, your parents asked for your help at work during the sunny season instead of sending you on vacation. They were selling food products, your mom holding a grocery shop from Mondays to Fridays, before joining your father on the weekends who was vending them at the marketplaces in the capital and its whereabouts. And when July came, they closed the shop to go from market to market, morning after morning and night after night, with you accompanying them occasionally. But most of the time, as they worked hard without a real break, you used to enjoy your holidays by going to your friends' rents, or to your grandparents' little but cozy houses further from your home.

You used to love the different markets you went to. You used to love their various scents, their joyful sellers, and the cheap or luxurious stuff they were full of. You used to lose yourself in the alleys of those big places to taste everything, to admire each pearl incrusted in the jewelries, each drawing on kitchen supplies and decorations, each sewing on leather bags and fabrics, before going back to your parents at noon.

However, that was before your fifteenth summer, when you had to wake up at 4 or 5 in the morning to set up the equipment and organize the presentation of the food, then shout the whole morning to catch the attention of clients, sometimes pack up things without messing up – which had happened to you numerous times because of nervousness –, and do it all over again at nighttime. Nevertheless, you still did the job without complaining, not denying how much effort it implied and how legit it was for your parents to ask for an additional pair of hands. But you couldn't say you were waiting for the end of the first half of the year to come with as much impatience as other students anymore.

This eighteenth summer should be different though. Your parents had decided to extend their commerce to Busan, and to take you with them. Even if the reason you were here in the first place wasn't the sea and sunbathing, but the gigantic covered market where you were going to sell products for the season, you were satisfied with the idea of being close to wild water, already dreaming of spending your afternoons on the beach before getting back to work, just to have the feeling of holidays you haven't really had for three years. But what made you even more excited, was that it was probably the last time you were ever going to follow this scheme, as next year college life and a whole new independence was waiting for you, without a doubt implying a new summer schedule with friends, far away from your parents and your responsibilities as a daughter.

A sweet vacation house had waited for you during 9 long months, as well as the amount of work that now tired you just by thinking of it, but you felt at ease while you were unpacking in your bedroom facing the sea, the thud of waves inciting you to take a step back and focus on the goods of being here. But as the first week went by, your alarm almost making your ear-drums bleed every time it rang loudly in the early and still dark morning, your positive mind and attitude were now clearly missing.

And if you had thought that having your days completely out of sync with the rest of people and not being able to properly visit Busan was sufficient to ruin your mood, as your sleepy-self consumed its vacant afternoon in bed instead of outside on the sand like you had pictured or maybe making some friends, it was until you met Im Changkyun. Until the second week you had been there, when your parents sent you to help that old lady who needed more hands at her stand than them who were still handling their own with skill.

You were nervous on your first day behind a stand with a stranger, despite the granny was lovely and was doing everything to make you comfortable, but being in an unknown city, an unknown market and without the pillar that were your parents, made you feel uneasy even more. Your hands were trembling as you were placing the bins containing the ingredients she sold and used for cooking delicious fried meals, and her popularity wasn't helping ; there wasn't a time when you could take a rest, people coming and going like crazy even in the first hours of the opening.

It was almost the end of your service when he showed up, or more precisely, when you accidentally bumped into him and dumped some sauce from your tub on his white tank top. The shock made him drop the carton he was carrying, full of porcelain kitchenware, some of them escaping their prison to explode on the floor, making a loud sound that drawn the attention of all the customers around. You had been walking too fast, coming from the small van parked behind the market where the grandma had food supplies she had pressed you to bring as you were almost running out of it.

"Fffffuuuuuck", the boy suddenly said, his voice low and deep but without a doubt laced with anger.

You were ashamed and panicked, the broken pieces of white plates laughing at you as you started to pick them up, quiet sorrys slipping out of your mouth.

"Don't you watch where you go?" he asked you and you finally stood up to look at him straight in the eye.

You didn't have the chance to meet pretty boys since you had arrived in town, it was not like they would come to the market in the morning if it meant giving up their sleep time, nor at night as they probably preferred street or fast food to your parent's fresh vegetables and kimchi. Except for this boy, who was confronting you right now, but sadly in this kind of situation that was making your cheeks burn of embarrassment and your heart fighting with your ribcage. Indeed, he had really nice looks, with the bangs of his light brown hair falling on his brows and eyes, an oval face with sharp eyes that killed you the instant you dared to greet him a timid smile, a long nose that seemed to have been carved in stone, and small lips that could create a smirk which you'll soon crave to smack him for.

"I'm really really sorry, I was in a hurry and I didn't see you, how can I-"

"Save it, let's go to my mother, you owe her your excuses" he cut you, grabbing the box again and pushing you with his wide shoulder when he passed you, silently inviting – or more like ordering – you to follow him.

With hands even more shaking than a few moments ago, you took your box and went to the granny's stand to excuse yourself, her gentle smile and reassuring comments about the incident soothing you instantly, but when you turned around and saw him darting his eyes at you while waiting, your blood froze in your body as your footsteps guided you to him without asking. The more you walked, the more the path seemed familiar to you, and you gasped when he stopped in front of a woman you recognized immediately. She was the beautiful lady at the stand right next to your parents', selling products she was cooking live as well as… kitchenware she probably had painted on herself. Beautiful kitchenware you just broke. You felt a new amount of shame piling upon the heap that already had bubbled inside of you when you captured the curious gazes of your parents seeing you coming back to them before 1 pm.

"Hey mom, I'm sorry but that girl bumped into me earlier and broke some of your plates" the boy stated while presenting the box to the lady who stopped what she was doing to take it calmly.

"Y/N! What have you done?!" your mother exclaimed, feeling even sorrier than you as you were supposed to ensure them a good image at the market by helping the granny, not creating a mess on the eighth day of your fresh arrival.

"It's okay! I have plenty of those, it can happen! Changkyun-ah, I hope you weren't rude to her, were you?" the woman said while smiling at you, signaling you to come close to her and you just did, your head hung low. "You didn't hurt yourself? Are you ok?" she asked as she was examining your hands.

"I'm fine, thank you. I'm really sorry, can I do something-"

"It's nothing Y/N. I had plenty of accidents when I was your age, don't worry" she eased you, your hands still in her beautiful and delicate ones. "I saw how you work when you were helping your parents last week, you are really devoted so you must have been too concentrated and didn't see my son! Where did you tell me she was helping?"

"With Mrs. Ahn" your father answered and you straightened yourself to see her smile at you.

"Changkyun, I know how bored you are when you're with me so how about you help Mrs. Ahn too? I'm sure Y/N is overworked by herself, you could help instead of doing nothing at home."

"No no no that's okay really" you quickly interfered, feeling embarrassed as you heard his grunt of annoyance.

If you could avoid being a burden and making him angry at you for having ruined his summer in addition of his clothes, you were willing to work even harder to prove you didn't need his help.

"Mom, I have friends to meet and things to do, I'm on holidays! Why are you doing this to me seriously?" he protested and you finally looked over your shoulder to see him standing in a nonchalant pose, his hands deep in the pockets of his black jogging while the red stain of hot sauce on his top was drying and turning brown.

"I'm tired of you doing nothing, it's just for the mornings and sometimes at night, you'll have plenty of time to hang with your friends! I'm pretty sure there are heavy bins to carry or ingredients to cut and your hands will be of great help so stop nagging, you're 18 years-old now you should work a little!" she grumbled before smiling at you who were still frozen in your wish to disappear into the ground.

"At 18 years-old I… I should enjoy my life mom! Before working till I get old, you know? That's why I enjoy not doing anything for the time I have left!"

His dramatic tone almost made you chuckle but you couldn't allow yourself to, or else he would have murdered you the instant you'd been left alone without your parents to witness.

"Cut your nonsense son, or do you want me to tell your dad you're ok to work with him at the company till the end of holidays? And it's going to be a full-time job this time!"

Changkyun rolled his eyes back and sighed, finally giving up – not without mumbling a few bad words to himself in the process – and he gave you the exact look you feared he would have, the one that told you he would hate you for the rest of his life, the one that should have warned you that everything would only get worse after this first disastrous encounter.

***

The next morning, you were still fighting with the tiredness in your eyes as the anxiety of meeting Changkyun again had kept you up all night. You were debating with your inner self about whether you should excuse yourself one last time, or remain silent and leave him alone, but you still hadn't come up with an answer when he arrived around 7 am, a grey hoodie on as well as a pair of destroyed jeans. He was really attractive, even with his morning face and small bags under his eyes, even when he shot you his deadly look, even when he messed up his hair by putting his hand in it in frustration.

"Hello ma'am, I'm here to help, I'm the son of Mrs. Im" he said with his deep voice, even deeper as he woke up not too long ago.

He showed off his cocky demeanor as he didn't even greet you and made his way behind the big table you were occupied at preparing, placing nicely the cooked and marinated products.

"My mother and yours are sympathizing right now, but that doesn't mean we're going to be friends, or whatever", he suddenly said to your attention and you gave him a quick look to discover that his eyes weren't even bothering to acknowledge you. "They want me to spend some time with you, your mom said that you're bored the rest of the day and have no friends here, but let me be clear : I have other things to do than to carry a burden around during my free time, most of all a clumsy girl. You ruined my summer y'know that?"

His gaze from the day before should have warned you, but you still were slapped violently by the hands of shock when he spat these words with spitefulness. You did bump into him and create a regretful situation, but you did not grow his mom's idea into her head… Did you?

"I'm here to help the old lady so that my mother leaves me alone, I'm not here for you, don't make up any ideas, got it?" he added with a monotone voice and you looked up at him as he was finally landing his deep brown eyes on you, but without a glimpse of life in them.

"Don't worry, I don't need your help. Sorry if my mom has bothered you", you simply answered, quickly going back to what you were doing to hide the mix of anger and embarrassment that was burning your reddening cheeks.

You had hoped that he would not pay any attention to you, not that he would make you pay, but his saltiness and rudeness were more on point than what any human being could imagine : starting from his first day next to you, he didn't miss any chance to make his presence unbearable. He pointed every wrong move you made and grumbled every time he did, pretending to be an expert as he had accompanied his mother more than once to this marketplace ; he greeted cheerfully clients when he was serving them but never failed to play the poker face with you, while the old lady did not hear or see any of this electric situation, simply happy that two lovely teenagers had volunteered to help ; he let you do most of the work, playing stupid games on his phone or pretending to be unpacking and cutting the ingredients to cook but taking never-ending time in doing so. You weren't the type to hate on people but Changkyun had made himself odious, so much that even his looks couldn't save him anymore, as the only sight of him made you angry. Quickly, your guilt disappeared in limbo like your positive mind had done a week ago, as you came to wish you had dumped every single bit of the sauce right on his head.

Like that, your relationship – if you could name the poor exchanges you had a relationship – became him nagging you and you nagging him, your discussions restricted by the vocabulary of disrespect and sarcasm, even if you still played the role of good kids once you returned to your mothers, pretending to leave to spend some good time together at the beach although you parted ways after plotting the story you would both tell your parents to be credible. If you were being honest, you enjoyed being alone and his company wasn't necessary to make you happy. He was just your perfect excuse to escape being with your parents during all your free time and wander in Busan's streets or maybe finally feel the sand of the beach or the cold of sea waves like you had been craving to do.

However, only a week had gone by and it had seemed like an eternity. You were already exhausted by this tensed situation you were plunged into each morning you stepped into the market, and instead of taking a walk once you were done with work like you had planned to, you still pursued your routine of going to sleep. What pissed you even more was that above all, you found him beautiful although he was being the most experienced asshole in the world with you. You found him beautiful when he looked annoyed – which was most of the time –, you found him beautiful when his brows furrowed, you found him beautiful when his tone went under the one of a vault, and you found him beautiful in each one of his outfits that were supposed to be picked up carelessly but suited him nonetheless – even with the ridiculous apron you had to wear.

You choked yourself mentally every time you landed your eyes on him with too much attention, printing the image of his handsome profile with his sharp nose in your brain, and with even more vigor when you felt thrilled at the sight of the smile he never greeted you but that was pretty as hell. Hell, yes, because that guy was the devil itself, never failing to throw away his fake angel looks when there was only the two of you to spit venom and burn you with his bashful words.

Still, you couldn't be thankful enough for the shell you've been living in since you were little, not letting others reach your emotions easily and hurt you the way Changkyun could have done to a more sensible person. You were also proud of your ability to ignore him and to fight back, your fiery conversations not lasting long or almost making you laugh when you triumphed at making him shut up or annoyed. As tiring as it was for your nerves, you could have dealt quietly with it like you always had, if chance hadn't decided to go in your way and add oil to the fire pit Changkyun and you were battling in.

Indeed, by the third week of July, you finally found the courage to furrow the streets of the city and to enjoy the little time you had to yourself instead of dying in your bedroom. But a few hours after you had parted ways with Changkyun, hoping not to see each other until the next morning, you ended up meeting each other by pure coincidence.

The first time, you were walking on the promenade with the marine wind in your hair, listening to your music and overall floating in your bubble, when you saw him arriving in front of you, surrounded by five other guys who were laughing cheerfully. He stopped and so you did, rolling your eyes at the same time and you immediately turned on your heels to flee the crime scene that would have occurred if he had opened his mouth in front of his friends, without a doubt feeling full of confidence to bash you in their presence. Weirdly though, your heart skipped a bit at the sight of his wet and sandy hair fighting against the breeze and of his naked torso, broad and outlined, telling you he had just dipped into the sea minutes ago. However, the absence of eyes in the back of your head prevented you from seeing how he only stared at you without breathing, at your hair shining under the sun, at your bare legs revealed by your high waisted shorts that married perfectly your curves, at your determined gait taking you far away from him ; he lost himself at your sight so bad that one of his friends had to nudge his side for him to stop ogling you any longer.

The second time, you had decided to escape the sea after seeing him the day before, so you randomly took some lovely streets, entering some boutiques and offering yourself some new clothes, simply loving your me-time. Until you came across his figure in a park you had chosen to enter into, the blossoming trees and the sight of a kiosk seducing your eyes and heart.

Changkyun was sitting on a bench under a tree with the same friends you had quickly seen, eating some snacks as they were chatting and laughing, and this time your heart didn't miss a beat, no, it quickened its pace to the point you thought you would die. He was wearing a white long sleeved shirt with black jeans and sneakers, and a white cap was covering his greyish-brown hair parting in two on his forehead. Again, his face looked as tired as yours must have been with your early morning activities, but he still was gorgeous, even more because he wasn't wearing that jaded mask he had with you. You hesitated to turn around and go somewhere else as he didn't see you yet, but by the time you were reaching a decision, he was already looking at you and even walking in your direction, his traits again as hard as ever.

"Are you following me or what?" he said in a hushed voice.

"What? I'm not!" you exclaimed but the apparent blush of your cheeks and your elusive pupils made him believe the contrary.

"Then what are you doing here? Busan is big you know, how come we meet today as well? Last week I didn't see you at all!"

"What's wrong Changkyun?" asked one of his friends behind his back, standing on his feet and revealing his tall and imposing figure, but his cute face when his lips curved into a smile helped you staying calm.

"Nothing hyung, she's the girl I'm working with and I think she's followed me here" Changkyun answered with a clearer tone, and for the first time he addressed you a smile, but it was full of slyness.

"I didn't, I'm just visiting, I stayed at home last week that's why you didn't see me, now if you don't mind I'll go" you answered, your irritation apparent in your voice as you passed him and quickly greeted his friends with a small bow before storming to the kiosk to hide yourself forever.

Your body was clearly expressing the effect the boy had on you when you saw him under other circumstances than the marketplace : your hands were wet, your heart crazy, and your legs were going to abandon their functions if you didn't sit down in the following seconds. Why the hell am I feeling like that? He's handsome, yes, but he's just a bugger!

"Why didn't you invite her to hang out with us? She's cute" asked the most muscular of the group, once you were out of sight.

"I don't like her, she's annoying and childish, and I have to work because of her clumsy ass remember" Changkyun explained, sitting down angrily on the bench before taking off his cap as he also had started to feel sweat forming on his forehead since he had seen you.

***

You swore Busan couldn't have felt any tinier, because you didn't understand how in the world you could randomly meet your summer enemy everywhere you went to in the city. Today was a Thursday, the sun was up in the sky and you had wished to at least soak your feet in the blue sea, and maybe enjoy a cocktail in a café-bar which had drawn your attention a few days ago, with its youngster-surfer vibe and its simple but appetizing menu. The barman also wasn't unpleasant, but you hushed your girly silliness as you entered around 4 pm, your hair wet after you finally had taken a sea bath and tried to get your pale skin to brown a little.

You hadn't gone further than the market surroundings for a week after the two times you had met Changkyun, too scared to tempt the chance that seemed to be coming after you, and because he hadn't forgot the next morning to tell you rudely not to follow him, to what you had answered he was too full of himself and that he should fuck off. However, with the beautiful weather on this Thursday, without a cloud to be seen, you couldn't hide yourself anymore and decided not to care about how Changkyun would react if you came across each other again.

You should have known better, that you weren't lucky enough to defy chance, fate, or whatever had chosen you to play with. You were sipping on your fruity cocktail silently, sitting on the terrace that had a nice view of the promenade full of trees and flowers and of the beach only a few meters away, when you saw him through your sunglasses. You almost whined of annoyance, on the verge of going crazy about how he seemed to be like a ghost haunting you since last week. Once again, his hair was wet and curling a little, with its silver glints revealed by the sun, while he had switched his lazy outfit from the morning with a pair of jeans shorts and a white top under a grey cardigan.

He was with the same group of guys as the previous times, who were really loud and happy, and when he was about to make his way to the bar, Changkyun stopped in his tracks as he acknowledged your presence, his face falling into some unreadable expression, probably because he was as taken aback as you by the way you constantly met. To elude any suspicions, he quickly followed his mates who were cheerfully greeting the pretty barman – Kihyun if you had read his name well.

Obviously, a nice weather implied drinking outside with the seaside breeze, and you found yourself facing the table of the boys who finally noticed you, giving both Changkyun and you curious looks before one of them found a subject of conversation to distract themselves. During the first ten minutes, you felt his sharp eyes on you, with his chin a bit raised, giving him this bad boy aura he was always seeking in front of you and that made your heart weak despite all the hate you had for him. He suddenly got out of his vest, revealing his arms under the rolled sleeves of his T-Shirt, and then he placed the side of his face in the palm of his hand, his pupils never quitting your frame in the process. Again, cold sweat and chills : again, tachycardia ; again, numb legs.

Soon enough though, a bunch of girls passed by and greeted the band, staying up next to their table, and it finally grasped Changkyun's attention, freeing you from your unexplained sensations. You couldn't prevent your gaze to go back and forth between the sea and his group, hiding behind your sunglasses, to observe their affinities – maybe he has a girlfriend? Now that you came to think of it for the second time, even if you had been with one another for now almost three weeks, you knew nothing about each other. The first time was a few nights ago, when your father had asked you this question during dinner :

"So what about Changkyun? What kind of boy is he? How come you never talk about him! With all the time you spend together and the things you do, you must have a strong bond by now, don't you? It's true that we get pretty attached to our summer friends in no time!"

You had stayed quiet for a few seconds, building something to come up with as you had faced the truth : you didn't know a single thing about him, what he liked and what he didn't, his friends, his passions, his ambitions, and you surely didn't have his number nor any of his social networks' accounts. As you had looked through your memories quickly, all you could have pointed at was him listening to some rap music in his headphones early in the morning while you were installing, or him having a great appetite when it came to eat the meals the granny offered you, or him playing RPG games on his phone whenever he had the time, or him meeting these hyungs to hang out once you were done with your morning service, but that was all. In some way though, that was also enough to tell you you've been observing him with way too much attention, some attention he shouldn't get in the first place, and realizing it had tensed you. Changkyun and you were just enemies of circumstances, living up a lie in front of your parents that didn't take the time to look through it and never grabbed the chance to uncloak you just by asking you this exact question about each other's well-being or tastes.

"Hummm… I… We're not really talkative, you know, so… Yeah, he's nice to hang out with" you had mumbled before taking a long sip in your cup of water.

"He's such a charming boy" your mother had commented, and you had hidden your need to puke at how this adjective sounded awful in your ears. "I'm amazed at how everything goes well between you and for your last summer like this. I didn't think this would happen! He sure will be a good friend, that's beautiful sweetheart."

These outings are what never happened, mom, you had wanted to answer, but you had only looked down at your plate and wrongfully nodded in agreement, regretting to be lying to your parents since so long but too deep in it for you to get out. This whole comedy was a pure joke to you, something you didn't take too seriously to feel really guilty as the life or death of the boy mattered to you as much as one of a fly. At least, you convinced yourself so, somehow perfectly aware of the weird feelings you were getting because of him from time to time, when you really looked at him, or when, like at this exact moment, you met him by coincidence outside the market, discovering another Changkyun, a lively one, a smiling one, an apparently funny one as he made everyone at his table laugh with his derp faces or his comments you couldn't hear.

"Kkukkungiiiiiie, are you coming to the party next Friday?"

The voice of a girl shook you out of your thoughts, and you caught the annoyed eyes of Changkyun going straight in your direction, over the shoulder of the model-looking boy of the team who had his back facing you. You didn't hold back your quiet laugh to make him feel ridiculous. Kkukkungie? Seriously? The boy rolled his eyes, clearly pissed that you had heard that somehow cute but most of all silly nickname, and this time his angry look didn't stop you from smiling as you were making fun of him. Not too long after, the girls were gone, their laughs still tinting in your ear-drums like birds singing too happily, and that was when the pretty barman came to serve you the dessert you had ordered as your afternoon snack, a key lime pie. You suddenly felt shy when he engaged the conversation :

"Are you here alone for holidays?"

His voice was really calm and sweet, like the bright smile he gave you that almost closed his eyes in a cute way.

"Oh uh… No, I'm here to help my parents at the market" you answered, smiling back.

"Oh I see! I'm Kihyun by the way, you are?"

"Y/N."

He offered you his hand and you shook it gently, before taking it back to your lap.

"So where are you from?" he asked again.

"Seoul! But I really love it here" you admitted, surprising yourself as you let the words roll through your tongue instead of cutting off the discussion.

Changkyun was observing you from behind, his brows furrowed as he saw one of his hyungs talking to you, but even more when the latter turned back and shouted :

"Ya guys! She's new here and all alone and you didn't even invite her at your table! What kind of gentlemen are you seriously, you're making me feel ashamed!"

Once again, you wanted to kill yourself for dragging people involuntarily into your situation and forcing them to hang out with you, first Changkyun at the old lady's stand, now all of his friends that were staring at you. You were shaking your head from left to right to express that everything was really fine but it was too late :

"Ohhhh but she's the girl Changkyun is working with! Sure, come and join us!" one of them exclaimed as if he hadn't seen you before when he clearly had, making it even more awkward.

However, when Kihyun nodded his head in their direction while smiling at you, you realized you had no other choice but to do as you were told, being polite and appreciative when all you wanted to do was to run away from this place and quickly. Remind me why did I go near the sea again?

"Hi, I'm Jooheon" said the one who had just invited you and when he smiled, two deep dimples appeared on his chubby cheeks, making him a ray of sun in an instant. His hair was chocolate brown and slicked back on his head, and he had even sharper eyes than Changkyun.

You sat down next to him where an empty spot seemed to have waited for you, and introduced yourself back, waiting for the others to do the same. On your left was sitting the model-boy, with his dark hair and his tall but slim frame, whose name you now knew was Hyungwon ; Shownu, the tall and massive boy who had interfered the last time, had short brown hair and tanned skin ; the one named Hoseok had his hair bleached and prominent muscles ; and finally, Minhyuk, who also had brown hair, smiled at you and seemed to be the most talkative and excited of the band as his introduction was the longest. Overall, they were guys with enjoyable looks and fashion styles, but to your great despair, not even one beat the handsomeness of Changkyun in your eyes. Quickly, Minhyuk made you talk and you did your best to forget the presence of your market partner, almost enjoying how the whole situation was annoying him as you saw his leg jump up and down since you sat at his table.

"Why didn't you introduce us to her earlier Changkyun-ah? She's really fun" Jooheon said as if he was outraged and you smiled in victory, defying the designated one who was, for the first time, avoiding your gaze as his eyes were drifting to the sea, his brows knotting and his bottom lip trapped between his teeth.

"I already told you hyung, she's not my friend so there's no reason for you to be" he hummed between gritted teeth, his head still turned away from you.

"You don't get to decide who we hang out with you brat!" protested Minhyuk before he slapped his shoulder. "Hey Y/N, why don't you come to my pool party next Friday?"

You weren't against having a little fun, and you didn't need to stay with them all night ; maybe you would meet some other really nice people and could avoid Changkyun. After all, you deserved at least one party for this summer, and maybe it was the only opportunity you'll ever have before going back to work and hiding yourself in Busan’s streets with the hopes of not getting surprised by Changkyun’s ghost-like appearances like you had another time today. The boy had finally turned his body towards you and was looking at you with daring eyes, but you couldn't care even less. He had been the one who had started to build your hateful relationship even if his anger had been legit at the beginning, but you were not going to give him some satisfaction by avoiding having some fun.

"Yeah, sure, thank you! I've been dying to go out!"

The boys whooped in satisfaction while the jaw of Changkyun dropped, showing he wasn't expecting your boldness, but anyway, he still had to deal with it.

To be continued...

A/N : I’ll try to update Part 2 in a few days! Thank you again for reading... Any comments good or bad are welcomed as usual!

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dykedykegooses · 6 years

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i'm askin u every single even numbered question for the lesbian ask game

at least you didnt bother with the algebra this time, for which i am thankful

Femme or butch?

i’m more femme but i try to act butch sometimes and i just end up failing hopelessly. ‘look mom i know how to put air in a tire!!’ ‘peyton thats like… not even right’ or ‘oh SHIT look at that blitz!! that was cool’ ‘peyton that was a sack’ ‘oh’

Do you have a “type”? If so, describe it

not really, mostly just like… humor. if u funny we click

Plaid button-ups or leather jackets?

why not both?

no but seriously plaid tbh

Describe your style

um yes

converse, (ripped? sometimes) jeans, and whatever top i feel is appropriate for the Big Aesthetic today

Describe your aesthetic

yes

ive tried going more punk but its just kinda , not worked

my physical aesthetic is very adultolescent. i got chub and look like a freshman but ive been told i pass as a college senior so like

my Big Mood aesthetic is yes

Favorite article of clothing?

either my converse or my “”combat boots”” (theyre not and it makes me sound like an edgelord just saying that) (can you tell im gay)

OH WAIT I FORGOT ABOUT MY JEAN JACKET its like baggy and light and ive started sewing patches from my favorite bands on it (super punk right)

Favorite pair of shoes?

^^^

oh my black strappy heels, theyre surprisingly comfortable

Current haircut?

ive got a bleached bob rn

Any haircut goals for the future?

i kinda want a pixie cut bc i cant handle long hair however long hair is so PRETTY and wow

Describe the best date you’ve been on

iiiiiiiiii dont really know. ive been on very few. i have a Perfect Date in mind, and i guess my favorite was my first date with my ex. we had gotten back from a successful science competition (HAVE I MADE IT OBVIOUS IM A NERD YET IM A BIG OL NERD) and it was like midnight by the time we got back and we were both starving so we went to taco bell and just sat there talking and laughing and i know we were pissing off the staff, but we stayed til like two in the morning and we went home and honestly we both considered it a date but we didnt like… tell each other it was a date? if that makes sense? idk honestly im triggered

Describe the worst date you’ve been on

ugh oh god i went on a tinder date and this girl like in the DMs was like ‘hey do u smoke weed’ and im like ‘lol no’ and then like we made plans to meet up at a coffee shop and she asks me AGAIN if i smoke weed and im like……………. no and shes like ‘oh right lol’ well THIS BITCH sleeps through the time we were supposed to meet, completely stands me up, and then texts me back like an hour later and was like ‘omg im sorry i overslept!!!’ and it was like….. noon but ok so we meet up after my class and we just sit there really awkwardly trying to make conversation and she asks me AGAIN if i smoke weed im like ‘honey no i dont’ and we just talked about drugs for a while and when i left because i had to gtfo she like gave me an awkward hug and like i sent a text later that night bc im courteous and im like ‘hey i had a great time today’ (i didnt) ‘lmk if you ever want to meet up again!!’ and she just. ignored me lol.

Single? Taken?

im currently in a polyamorous relationship with myself and my anxiety

If taken, talk about your girlfriend/wife!

If single, what are you looking for in a potential girlfriend/wife?

someone who’s able to make me laugh and deal with my bad ideas and will let me cook for her and wants to travel the world with me

Describe your dream wedding

its small. outside. maybe in a field or in front of a lake. i dont personally want a big ballgown, just a short white dress will do. lavenders everywhere. R A I N B O W C A K E. reception where we slow dance to all the sappy romance songs. its great.

Do you want kids?

not really, but ive considered being a foster parent. i feel like im here to do good; i don’t want to have my own biological children, and im not sure i want to have the permanent responsibility of adopting a kid, but i feel i could handle fostering once we’re financially stable and have the room to accept children into our home.

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

spain, definitely. somewhere in the north. i want to have a small farm with goats and chickens and vegetables and i want to be away from this american mess.

Favorite lesbian movie?

well ysee…………. the only two explicitly lesbian movies ive seen have been ‘all about E’ and ‘blue is the warmest color’ and i didnt like either of the lmfaoooo i prefer watching lesbian television shows tbqh (or, most commonly, just rewriting all the female characters in my head to be sapphic sooooooo dont @ me)

Favorite lesbian novel/story?

i mean same as above, i dont read as much as i like to. however, i did read “georgia peaches and other forbidden fruit” and that was Really Good and i did read another that was slightly better, but i forget the name but it was about a pakistani (?) girl who was struggling to come out to her parents bc they were very traditionalist but she joins the theater and her like really elite school and the girl she had a crush on basically outs her and is a bitch about it and GOD i wish i could remember it because it was really good

Favorite lesbian song?

ummmmmmmmmmmm i just recently listened to ‘honey’ by kehlani and that was pretty good and pretty gay, but my personal favorite is ‘girls’ by beatrice eli bc holy shit what a Mood

Favorite lesbian musician?

i love mary lambert and beatrice eli.

What lesbian stereotypes do you fit into, if any?

ummmmm now that im thinking of them i cant think of any. i used to play softball and soccer? i love cats. i immediately start planning out the next five years of our lives together anytime im remotely interested in a girl?

Ever been assumed to be nothing more than a gal pal?

i mean………………. no

If a woman wanted to woo you, what would a surefire way to accomplish that?

well bake cookies w me and lets go for a walk & go out and watch the stars at night in the bed of a truck

Be positive! What do you like most about being a lesbian?

I LOVE LOVING GIRLS!!!!!! I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT BEING A LESBIAN!!!!!! GIRLS ARE FANTASTIC!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!

Are you more of a cat person or a dog person?

why not both

idk ive never had a cat but i know i lov them

Turn ons?

i.......... dont know

yes

im gay

Turn offs?

long nails youch theyre pretty to look at but i mean at what price

not having anything to talk about

putting yourself down like a lot (i went on a date w this one girl and that was all she did like the entire date like......... im sorry ? :(???)

Do you usually ask other women out or do you wait for them to ask you?

if im being honest i would love for someone to ask me out but since that is Very Unlikely, i tend to be the one to message first and initiate dates and stuff

What is your dream career?

i want to be a psychological researcher in the field of social comparative psychology how sick is that!!!!! just play with dogs all day and record whether or not they boop their noses on a screen

also i wanna be a farmer and a bookstore owner but thats Farther down the line like , when im 50

Talk about your interests or hobbies!

im honestly such a psych nerd i love psychology what the fuck!! its so interesting like ppl are weird man idk brains are weird

im also having a really big green day phase like billie .. he so smol... and also anyone who wants to bash warning or the trilogy can fight me ok those are like My Favorite Albums

im going to a concert in february to see declan mckenna, a Giant Meme

im getting a tattoo w some lyrics of declan’s actually its gonna be sick

What is the most attractive quality a woman can have?

yes

idk for me its being able to have quick, witty, skillful jokes i just love listening to girls talk and tell stories and jokes like wow im gay

also long curly hair? thats always a Solid Look

Do you love easily or does it take time for you to warm up to someone?

i mean. do we really wanna open this can of worms rn

too late, its open

i get those microcrushes where you like see a girl and youre like ‘WOW IM GAY DATE ME’ however once it comes to actually being in a relationship i throw my full weight behind it and worry that im being too suffocating or that im pushing my boundaries etc and ive been told that makes me come off really cold and uncaring so lol choose ur own adventure, you decide

Ever fallen for your best-friend?

unfortunately

Ever fallen for a straight girl?

can you even call yourself a lesbian if you havent

The L-Word: yes or no? (love it or hate it?)

i havent seen it, im such a fake lesbian

Favorite comfort food?

mac n cheese

or pizza

or cheesy potatos

OR CHEESY TOAST

scientific conclusion: im a fatass

Coffee or tea?

coffer

Vegetarian? Vegan? None of the above?

im vegetarian!! have been on and off for like two years now

Do you have any pets?

i have one pup sittin right next to me and shes the prettiest girl in the world

Early-riser or night-owl?

yes

idk i get up at like 9 which is early for me but not as early as like. 5. so

more like night-owl. thanks teenage hormones!

What is your sign?

pisces

Can you drive?

yes

can i drive well?

but i do have a sense of direction so thats cool

Who was your first lesbian crush?

tbh.................... my best friend, but i didnt realize it was a crush at the time

the first Gay Crush i had that i knew was a crush was on my close friend at the time, now my ex girlfriend

At what age did you know you were a lesbian?

uhhhhhhhhhh lesbian specifically, like 15-16. queer, i knew in like fall semester freshman year (so like 13??)

At what age did you come out (if you have)?

i mean, i come out to people all the time. first time i came out explicitly as a lesbian was when i was like 15 or 16 (actually i came out to a close straight friend and my ex and they both said ‘congrats’ like it was weird but very nice) and the first time i came out as queer/questioning was to my then-best friend at like 13 and i came out to my mom (involuntarily) at like 17? ish?

Are you crushing on anyone at the moment (celebrity or otherwise)?

yes im crushing on every girl simultaneously at all times

just kidding

(not really)

i dont really have any explicit crushes that i can think of im just really gay

Talk about how your day went

it was fine. got free froyo so that was cool. found out i made an A on my bio practical, so that was cool too. however, i wore a crop top and it was like 55 degrees out and raining so i looked like a total Idiot but yk follow ur slutty gay dreams amiright ladies

Talk about your dreams/aspirations for the future

most of mine are career-centric, but a few are personal.

i wanna go to costa rica in may, i wanna go to yale over the summer, i wanna go to NYC pride in june, i wanna go to spain after i graduate, i wanna go to grad school, i wanna be a psychological researcher, i wanna move to spain or england or hell even france, i wanna have my own farm with the woman i love, i wanna own an LGBT bookstore/library, i wanna just live a quiet life near the sea and not have to worry so much after a while.

Least favorite gay celebrity?

this is a weird one to end on, but iiiiiiim not sure i have one? i can tell you ellen page is probably my favorite, but i cant think of many i dislike so

#grabsthesun #lesbian ask game #i love and hate you

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thetroublewithloveis-blog · 7 years

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[ @fantasticnumber14 ]

For the first time since they’d begun these Canon jumps months ago, Rose Tyler had landed inside of a women’s loo. The loo hadn’t been empty at the time either, and Rose had sufficiently scared the holy ghost out of a poor unsuspecting girl who had been washing her hands. That girl had begun to scream for security, and had run from the loo nearly instantly with Rose right behind her attempting to think of some sort of reasonable lie. As soon as Rose stepped out of the loo however, she stopped in her tracks and felt a twinge of anxiety slice into her abdomen. Oh no.

People were starting to filter out of doorways and stairwells, curious as to what the commotion was, and they were all staring right at Rose. Apparently the loo was inside of a Uni building, which meant security cameras as well. Sodding brilliant. Even if none of these strangers noticed the smoke rising from her blue leather jacket or the fact that her clothing was slightly different than theirs, those bloody cameras would. Hearing another round of screaming from the girl coming from another corridor, Rose turned briefly to the curious eyes staring at her and said, “Huge rat. Came right at us. Might wanna call pest control.” before turning on her heel and legging it down the corridor after the terrified girl.

If Torchwood or UNIT found out about this she’d probably be taken into custody again and she didn’t fancy losing another month’s worth of jumps as time was in such short supply already. When Rose turned down the final first-level corridor, however, she saw the girl vanish behind two double doors that lead outside at the end of the hall and knew she would never catch her in time.

“Dammit!” She shout-whispered, kicking the wall next to her and breathing heavily from her wasted efforts. If she told Micks or Owen about this over the Comm, they would immediately activate the Canon and bring her back, despite her not even knowing where and when she was or if she’d managed to finally find the Doctor’s proper timeline. Anything she planned to do she had to do before she turned on her wrist Comm, and she had to sort it out before she ended up in some Torchwood cell underground or worse, a UNIT medical lab.

Leaning back against the wall she’d just assaulted, she closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths, contemplating her options.

#fantasticnumber14 #v: canon #dimension hopping rose #hope this is alright #wrote you a book lol

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curlyshepards · 7 years

Note

LITERALLY i want all of them for curly shepard

IM SORRY TO THE MOBILE USERS WHO THIS WILL NOT APPEAR UNDER A READ MORE FOR

What does their bedroom look like?

idk why i’m such a firm believer of this BUT: tim and curly share a room, so typically half of it is clean and the other half (curly’s half) is a fucking mess all the time

Do they have any daily rituals?

every day for lunch at school him & his friends just go under the bleachers and drink. unfortunately curly has no limits so when lunch is over he usually just ends up ditching the rest of the day to go continue drinking somewhere else

Do they exercise, and if so, what do they do? How often?

he doesn’t make a conscience effort to exercise, but he walks basically everywhere when tim has the car. so he’s in pretty good shape bc of that & bc of fighting

What would they do if they needed to make dinner but the kitchen was busy?

curly has never made dinner a day in his life and will never make an attempt to nor does anyone want him to. if theres nothing already made at the house he’ll either just go without or go to the diner

Cleanliness habits (personal, workspace, etc.)

he’s a generally messy person, but he takes pride in his looks so he takes care of himself. he’s always clean shaven and smells really good. his room, however, is a disaster scene

Eating habits and sample daily menu

usually not awake for breakfast, and for lunch he’ll scrap up whatever he can find in his house (probably ends up being a sandwich or cereal) and for dinner he’ll follow tim somewhere and make him buy him dinner. he loves eating at the diner and never underestimate his ability to eat breakfast meals at 11 o clock at night

Favorite way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time

his sole reason for going to school is to waste time (thats what he tells everyone at least but its rlly because tim will not let him drop out) but if hes not in school then he’s probably just walking around his neighborhood w/ his friends or hanging out at the strip trynna start fights

Favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulging

dont.....really know what this means. all im thinkin about is that chocolate stuff. but he likes chocolate so lets go with that. he could eat 50 kit kats in a row, probably

Makeup?

makeup sex? absolutely. he’ll start a fight with his boo just for the sex

Neuroses? Do they recognize them as such?

i honestly dont see him having a mental illness

Intellectual pursuits?

intellectual isn’t really his thing. BUT i can see him really liking labs and stuff

Favorite book genre?

he hATES reading, but mostly because he’‘s dyslexic and he was brought up thinking that he was dumb bc he had trouble reading. ponyboy is the one that ends up helping him, though, and sometimes he’ll read to curly (action books bc they’re the only ones that’ll keep curly’s attention. there are numerous times he regrets the decision bc curly cant keep quiet for more than a few minutes.)

Sexual Orientation? And, regardless of own orientation, thoughts on sexual orientation in general?

(i can already see the purly supporters @’ing me yikes) but PERSONALLY i think he’s straight. idk what this means by thoughts on s.o. in general but im bisexual ??? idc about sexual orientation ??

Physical abnormalities? (Both visible and not, including injuries/disabilities, long-term illnesses, food-intolerances, etc.)

he’s got a lot of scars, mostly on his knuckles but a few up and down his arms. he’s deathly allergic to seafood but doesn’t care bc it looks gross to him anyway.

Biggest and smallest short term goal?

biggest: honestly just making it through another day is an achievement to him

smallest: he swears that one day he will beat sodapop curtis in a drag race

Biggest and smallest long term goal?

biggest: being as respected as tim is when he’s older

smallest: he will own a puppy at some point

Preferred mode of dress and rituals surrounding dress

white t-shirt, jeans, tennis shoes, and if its not too hot then a leather jacket. he hates jean jackets tho and WILL make fun of anyone who wears them

Favorite beverage?

beer. but also pepsi. hes weird.

What do they think about before falling asleep at night?

we’re about to get deep. on good nights he just thinks about his day. there’s never a boring time with him, so he’s always got a lot to think about. he could be thinking about a girl he’s met or just hooked up with, or about what his friends got into. on bad nights though, he thinks about his dad and how he never got to know him. he thinks about how maybe he’ll never be like tim, and he’ll never be the brother that angie falls back on (that doesn’t bother him as much as it should, but it still pops into his mind) the number one thing that keeps him awake is never amounting to the shepard name

Childhood illnesses? Any interesting stories behind them?

just stupidity. he broke a lot of bones, needed a lot of stitches, and was bed bound too many times to count. there was one incident that tim loves to tell: the first time curly got into a fight. the guy was two times bigger than curly, but he didn’t care. the fight was done in 5 minutes, and curly had his first broken nose

Turn-ons? Turn-offs?

turn ons: i can see him really liking outgoing girls/ girls that are upfront. also neck kisses, collarbone kisses, hair pulling, back scratching

turn offs: daddy kink (seriously, its gross, stop forcing this on my son. he already has enough daddy issues) but nothing else really he will do basically anything

Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen?

either a very crude & poorly done drawing or a sign that says “curly is the hottest shepard”

How organized are they? How does this organization/disorganization manifest in their everyday life?

he is NOT. it doesnt really bother him that hes disorganized, but it drives tim up the wall. he’s always getting onto curly for being a slob

Is there one subject of study that they excel at? Or do they even care about intellectual pursuits at all?

he doesn’t really care, but since he’s forced to go to school he might as well enjoy something, which ends up being the labs in science. he likes the dissections, mostly, but he thinks looking into the microscopes are cool too (mostly bc him and his friends make shapes out of the slides)

How do they see themselves 5 years from today?

alive, hopefully

Do they have any plans for the future? Any contingency plans if things don’t workout?

he kinda just takes it day by day and doesnt care about the future. hes a strong believer that things will fall into place if theyre supposed to happen

What is their biggest regret?

probably being too emotional and not toughening up enough when he was younger

Who do they see as their best friend? Their worst enemy?

SO this is an OC but his best friend is a guy in the gang named brian. his worst enemy is also in the gang and his name is jimmy and he fucking hates that kid.

Reaction to sudden extrapersonal disaster (eg The house is on fire! What do they do?)

he’s probably the one that caused the disaster, so he immediately tries to fix it on his own. which usually works, but it leaves a mess behind that he’ll attempt (and fail) to cover up. a few hours later he’ll get chewed out by tim.

Reaction to sudden intrapersonal disaster (eg close family member suddenly dies)

so lets say tim dies. tim is the only person that curly is really close to, because if there’s one thing that he learned from his brother it’s to never let anyone too close. but he always thought that tim would be there for him so he worshipped him. but ANYWAY tim dies and curly shuts down. i can honestly see him losing it bc tim was all curly ever knew, he was always there to fix the mess curly got himself in and now he’s just kinda alone in the world. he’d still have the gang, but they’d remind him too much of his brother, so he’d eventually cut ties with them. it’d take a major, new person to bring him out of his stump, and thats if he ever really brings himself back to normal

Most prized possession?

the hand-me-down leather jacket tim gave him

Thoughts on material possessions in general?

doesnt really care about them bc he doesnt have a lot. he likes the things with meaning, but couldnt care less about expensive & nice things

Concept of home and family?

hes VERY family oriented and a huge mama’s boy, but he hates his step dad. he’d do anything to protect angela and anything that tim asked him. family always comes first with him

Thoughts on privacy? (Are they a private person, or are they prone to ‘TMI’?)

it kinda depends. on his sexual life hes really TMI, but about emotions and family and secrets he’s really private. you could count on one hand the amount of people that he’s told private stuff to, and even then they don’t know the full story. i think the only people who would ever truly know him are tim and his significant other

What activities do they enjoy, but consider to be a waste of time?

football!! and hes actually good at it. tim never plays tho so the only time he gets to is with the curtis gang

What makes them feel guilty?

fucking up on a gang job and letting tim down

Are they more analytical or more emotional in their decision-making?

more emotional!! that’s the biggest difference between curly and tim. tim will think of the long-term effects before making a decision, where curly is more of an “act now, think later” type person. his decisions are usually the wrong ones, but they make for a better story

Would they consider themselves a Type A or Type B personality?

i’d wanna say type B, because he is super laid back and easy going and isn’t really competitive (unless its for a joke)

What recharges them when they’re feeling drained?

getting away for a while. he loves driving and ive always seen him as having a little secluded spot that he goes to by himself during his teenage years. eventually though he finds the right person that he can take, and just being with them makes him feel better

Would you say that they have a superiority-complex? Inferiority-complex? Neither?

neither tbh. he may think that he’s better than some greasers (because honestly he is) but he doesnt think of himself as above other classes. he finds it unfair that socs and middle class people have a superiority complex, so it’d be dumb for him to have one. he just thinks everyone should be equal (but he knows theyre not, and for that reason he’ll fight any soc he can get his hands on)

How misanthropic are they?

hes very easy to get along with if you come from the same type of neighborhood. he’s open to everyone that’s cool with his gang, but he’ll be the worst kind of person to rival gangs and rich people. so he doesnt dislike people, because he can be a really cool guy, you just have to come from his streets

Hobbies?

football, fighting, drinking, poker. y’know, d00d stuff

How far did they get in formal education? What are their views on formal education vs self-education?

he graduates high school and thats it. and he definitely values self education more, the stuff he’s learned by himself ahve been more useful to him than the Pythagorean theorem ever will be

Religion?

he believes in a god but never really thinks about it. hes not religious by any means but i think it kinda comforts him knowing something comes after life

Superstitions or views on the occult?

he doesnt believe in superstitions imo!!

Do they express their thoughts through words or deeds?

both. he’ll talk a big game and then follow through with his promises

If they were to fall in love, who (or what) is their ideal?

THE QUESTION IVE BEEN WAITING FOR OK if curly ever fell in love, it’d be with someone making him feel okay with being him. they’d make him want to be a better man & not just a mini tim. they’d have to accept that curly would always idolize his brother, but they’d also help him detach a little. they’d love him for him and accept the fact that they can’t change him. they’d probably be just as wild as he is, bc they’d have to keep up with his lifestyle. they couldn’t take life too seriously and would never know what the future had in store for them. i can see curly eventually being able to be romantic, but it’d never be in public

How do they express love?

kisses, holding hands, little acts of kindness (giving them something that reminded him of them, asking how their day was, remembering little things)

If this person were to get into a fist fight, what is their fighting style like?

daddy came to win

Is this person afraid of dying? Why or why not?

nah i dont think he is. i think he’s kinda accepted that there is a very real possibility that he won’t make it past 30 w the way he’s living, so that’s why he takes it day by day

#long post #VERY LONG PSOT #Anonymous

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