#but i purged a shit ton tonight

[virtual-garden]

I overate...

Ate chocolates, crackers and bread fml why did I do this to myself??

The day started wrong...

I was late to work, looked like trash and was so tired. Shit day announced itself but I tried to pretend it was fine. It was not. I planned on fasting for a long time, but lasted for 12h~ because a coworker offered me snacks and the f*cking piggÿ I am didn't say no...

Then I felt dizzy and lightheaded, so I ate two calorie mate sticks and had another snack later that was 118cals with my 150cals lunch.

Then tonight the binge happened... I'm crying so much. I don't want to think about food all the time but I wanted to eat all day long shit. I'm doing my best to do post-binge self-care but it's hard.

No lax. No purging. I'm trying to not hurt myself further but shit. I drank a ton of water and brushed my teeth real good and used mouthwash.

I'll probably start having my omad in the morning because right now, I felt so useless and weak at work, my brain did not function at all it was bad.

I don't care if my partner gets mad if I stop eating dinner with them. I need the brain power for work. I can starve at night. I need to be smaller. I need to ✩rve. I need to be thin & healthy and have skinny privileges right now. I can't do it with this uncomfortable body anymore.

#3dn0s #ed dairy #stella's virtual secret garden #skinand🩻 #skin&🦴 #🕯️as a 🪶 #i want to ⭐️ve #⭐️rving #pro for me not for thee #tw 3d shit #3d diet #ana is my friend

[skinimini80]

So good news bad news.

Good news, I didn’t purge AND I counted every calorie I ate to the best of my ability without my food scale.

Bad news, I ate myself into a surplus of 3436 calories for the week so far.

That surplus is assuming I burn 1392 cals a day without like exercise or anything remotely active. It’s probably not actually that low but I trust it enough. In practice I’ve found I’m likely burning around 1750 cals a day when I’m more sedentary, so yeah whatever.

I didn’t weigh myself because I was incredibly full (almost painfully so but handled that shit like a trooper and didn’t purge! I am proud of myself for that.)

My plan is to obviously restrict today and not weigh myself until I’m back in a deficit. If I high restrict (meaning under or at 1000 cals putting me in a deficit of 400-500 cals per day) I should be back in a deficit in like one week. I’m thinking I’ll weigh myself in two though. I want to be lighter when I do weigh myself.

I’m gonna try to stop eating the same safe meal I’ve eaten every day as it is from a restaurant (it has a calorie count online but idk I feel like they don’t measure it the same every time you know?) I want to know I’m accurate.

I’ve been drinking lots of water to push this food out of my system lol. It’s been working, I’ve been shitting and I do feel a lot better already. I’ve just finished my homework for the day and I’ve cleaned my clothes. I gotta put them away still but yay fresh laundry!

I gotta drive home so I’m gonna get some shopping done on my way. I’m gonna try to prepare my own version of the safe meal. I’m gonna get myself a pretty new bowl and mug as I’ve saved some money this week from not purging. I’m gonna aim to really eat some protein. I’ve been average at like 50-70 grams a day. If I’m high restricting I really should be aiming for 90-100. I’m gonna treat myself to some energy drinks this week but you know I try to cut back on those because they’re really bad for you and I like my morning latte enough. The energy drinks are just to like get myself back in the mindset and to reward myself for the calorie counting I’ve done and not purging.

Also! Didn’t have any nicotine yesterday as I was eating a lot anyways and didn’t feel I deserved that appetite suppressant. I’m enjoying some rn as I’ve done my homework and wanna chill for a bit before driving. I’ve had a fun weekend and I’m overall proud of myself. I’m gonna shower and cook my dinner tonight! I’m ready for a good week! I can’t say I’m binge free as I did indeed binge yesterday. But again I tracked the calories and didn’t purge so it’s not as bad as it could have been.

I’m gonna focus on healthy-ish restriction and saving some money. I’m also gonna try to hang out with people again this weekend. Usually I’m able to save my cals for alcohol and avoid eating when I do that. I also get a shit ton of steps in and usually end up dancing quite a bit so it really is good for weight loss. I sense a new honey,on phase!

#ana bllog #tw ana diary #ed not sherran #tw disordered eating #bul1m14 #ana trigger #anorexcya #bulimima #tw ana shit #tw ana fast #anorex14 #anorexigenic #ed not ed sheeran #tw ed diet #tw mia #ana rant #ed bllog #ed not sheeren #notprojustusingthetags #anorexies #bing3 eating

[penname-artist]

I feel like the amount of people/individual accounts I've blocked via this website is nigh short of hysterical, in terms of volume.

Yes we're talking about all the things in my blocklist, because fuck you, I'm bored, it's my blog I get to talk about whatever dumb shit I wanna talk about, and tonight it's whatever this shit is because the muse for my Planes things crawled into a hole and died last New Years.

There's only a couple that are there for *personal* private inter-relational-issue reasons. As much as I paint my blocklist as entirely that, honestly, there's really only like, two of those left in the bottom of the well. But it did technically start there, so.

Anyways a large percentage in the heap are also bots. Kinda makes sense, y'know, bots are rampant no matter what and I'm real sick of seeing their really bad porn on even my secret other blog(...s) so many are there, even after staff went through what must have been purging all the known scam accounts.

Then there's just a fuck ton of random ass people in there, and honestly I only half understand how most of them got in there. I try to clean it out when I can but I just did earlier and I nearly forgot my reasons for most of these guys. I think some had trigger heavy content for me, I think some just had a lot of posts I was *very* much not about that I really didn't wanna see around me, pretty sure one person in the mix somewhere was only put there cuz they did a big no-no in my no-nos book and I just kinda didn't want to be asked.

Also there's a bunch of fucking "other" accounts I can't figure out what their deal is, how they got there, or even what to do with them?? Some are like, obviously empty accounts that just like favoriting shit, but they have *zero* info on them, even long after that last bot purge where everybody was freaking out about separating bots from legit new accounts. A lot of them have the bare minimum and I'm just kinda bewildered by their existence? (I think they're only really there in blockland because of one of my alts, in which I must more heavily enforce an age requirement)

[powerfultenderness]

Was looking for something to watch tonight and saw there’s yet another Purge movie. And I thought, I bet Adrian likes the Purge movies. Like, he doesn’t want to be one of ppl purging, but he’s 100% down to be the body guard of the main character and do a shit ton of killing that way. Just psycho after psycho charging at him? The dream! 

#adrian chase #vigilante

[bylightofdawn]

I might need to immediately go back to bed.

I heard the sound of what I thought might be construction vehicles outside so I peek out my window. See none of those things but notice my neighbor up front looks like he has came hunting clothes draped over his balcony. He very much has been steadily letting his redneck, possibly Trump MAGA supporter upper middle class white cis male side slip out as the past year has progressed. So pretty much 1/2 the population of white men in my area of Texas give or take.

Anyway, I see the clothes and my brain goes “Huh, that weird, it’s not deer season. I don’t think it’s duck or dove season either, what is he hunting this time if year?” And without a beat, my barely awake for five minutes brain supplies “Must be homeless/poor people” a la Surviving the Game or various Purge movies.

Ya’ll, the human brain is a glorious and hilariously fucked to organ. I clearly need more sleep. No, I don’t think my MAGA supporting redneck neighbor is hunting homeless people.

Unfortunately sleep is not going to happen because I really need to go to H‑E‑B pick up my meds.

More caffeine needs to be attained as well.

Also I looked up on Texas wildlife site (Something I never thought I would do) and there is no active hunting season. I did, however, discover that there is actually a creature called a snipe which is a bird. But when I grew up a snipe hunt was literally just you fucking with somebody by telling them there’s this vaguely bullshit-level creature in the darkness that you need to go find it. Of course you’re just sending them on a wild goose chase because you’re an asshole.

So for a second there I thought Texas game and wild life was just perpetuating this and royally fucking with people. And I was going to get Rick rolled when I clicked on the link even though I knew they don’t have a sense of humor so that was highly unlikely. Nope it’s a bird which I knew about but forgot but I’ve definitely seen that hilarious looking bird before.

I guess those are fishing/waders? He’s had a fishing boat parked there a couple of times in the past. Which is way more boring and prosaic an answer than my half asleep brain’s suggestion.

Also edit, edit I am not leaving my house. Those construction noises I heard was the road crew who are apparently resurfacing the roads and they have these huge machines which are chewing up the existing asphalt and I'm pretty sure if I leave, I might not be allowed to come back onto my street.

Well fuckballs.

Hopefully, they finish tonight and or let us use it after they are done because I have one day left on my thyroid meds and like maybe two or three on my beta blocker. I can always walk to the store on Sunday if I have to. I could prolly walk it and be back before work today since I have a little over an hour but I won't have time to get there, back and shower.

Good thing I have a shit ton of food in my fridge right now in case I can't leave my house for the next 4-5 days. I have no idea how long this is going to take but it surely won't be THAT long...right? Heh?

#life of el

[g-kat423]

Tw for ED stuff under the cut including numbers

So I haven’t had an actual binge since May and tonight I feel I got pretty damn close. It was definitely in the compulsive overeating category. I didn’t feel like I was in control. It was a really upsetting day. I woke up late from all the Xanax I took to keep myself calm and then got into one of my usual fights with my parents over my chronic illness since they’re still convinced it’s laziness/unwillingness to try to get better….like if I could flip a switch and be better I fucking would! And I am trying to get better why do you think I’ve been to the hospital and have gotten referrals to specialists?? The problem is the referrals to specialists always wind up being dead ends since there’s MONTHS of waiting and they never get back to me even when I’ve called they’ll say my referral has not gone though yet. ANYWAY, that’s beside the point. So I woke up and had a banana, was upset and didn’t eat a proper meal for hours and then my parents left and I ate a bunch of lunch meat instead of just making a sandwich, then I ate Cheetos, then potato chips, and then candy out of the dishes my mom keeps for display. Candy I don’t even fucking like just to fill that insatiable urge. Then my parents came home and brought me food since they’d gone out to eat and felt bad about the fight earlier and I really should have just saved it but I ate all of the fries and there was a shit ton and half of the grilled veggie sandwich. I nearly forced myself to eat the whole thing but I was so full. I probably could have pushed myself into finishing it if I still purged, but I don’t purge anymore since I feel like my body just can’t handle it anymore with how high my heart rate has gotten from throwing up while genuinely sick. After counting all of the calories for the day it was a little over 2,000 which is normal and I shouldn’t gain weight but it was the feeling of losing control and eating that much in such a short window when I generally eat around the low 1,000’s spaced out throughout the day since I generally don’t have much of an appetite and I’ve also lost 71 pounds since last year and obvi my body isn’t used to accommodating as much food anymore. I feel kind of sick and disgusted with myself. All I can do is keep in control tomorrow since I can’t change today. I know it wasn’t a real binge, just overeating but ugh. It was too close to home and reminded me a lot of my out of control binge days.

[divinationcentral]

General Reading.

Main energy: The Hanged Man & The Empress 

This is a moment of reflection that you are having, possibly about experiences that have come to pass. You wonder now how you can achieve better success, using the wisdom that you have gained from what these experiences taught you. 

The Empress denotes that there is an abundance of wisdom for you to harvest, that will really support you and your growth moving forward. 

Do not be afraid of diving into the past. Digging into failure. None of these things equate to your self worth as a whole. Our lives are not subject to limitations...let yourself grow past this. 

Let’s learn. Hang yourself upside down today (metaphorically speaking) - what changed? Create a new perspective on the situation, now that you are above it. You are in control of how it plays out this time. 

Queen of Pentacles 

The Justice 

Two of Cups 

This is about getting the results that you want. The Justice represents that the partnership you’re coming into is fair, fulfilling, and makes you feel “full.” 

You’re cared for, nurtured, balanced, and restored. 

Your financial situation will look better too, but you have to learn to manage it like someone who is practical, responsible, and takes care of their finances like their actual comfort matters (meaning make your situation comfortable enough for you, p.s. that does also mean taking care of your health and your body - which won’t be all that much of a problem thanks to the financial support you’re receiving from this partner/ship? Maybe it’s an acquisition of some sort, and yes, it very well could be a romantic partner - like your spouse, or even a really good friend, who cares about you getting what you want). 

The Queen of Pentacles is an archetype who isn’t afraid of hard work. The more she has to manage by herself, with her hands, the happier and more proud she is of the end results. 

She knows she put everything into her projects, and got the just desserts - because that’s exactly what she expected to get. What she puts into it, she expects to get it back - treat yourself no less. 

Expect no less than what you give, what you worked for, what you know is hard earned deserves the biggest prize (the best price). 

What you do now grows. However, this isn’t about a gestation period. This is about your past efforts coming into fruition. 

#general reading #tarot #the irony #i say i don't have the energy to do readings #but i purged a shit ton tonight #and now i feel no blockages

[does-this-look-inanimate-to-you]

not to be suicidal or anything but life would be so much easier if i was dead

#i hate venting on tumblr but i don't have my phone so i can't vent to my friends #i'm a huge procrastinator and i have a shit ton of math to do tonight #i'm kinda breaking down #i really really hate school #it would be so much easier just to fucking die #but i can't #there are people who need me #or at least they say they do #still i can't do this much longer #updates with purg #vent #vent tw #tw vent #tw: vent #suicide #suicide mention #suicide mention tw #tw suicide mention #tw: suicide mention #suicide tw #tw suicide #tw: suicide #language #language tw #tw language #tw: language #suicidal thoughts #suicidal thoughts mention #suicidal thoughts tw #suicidal thoughts mention tw

[angelssung]

one way, or another

summary: if you thought this purge night would uneventfully pass like the others, you’ll be in for one hell a ride this time.

genre: purge!au, angst, action, adventure, a lot of death and violence, hint of crack (if you squint very closely), yandere

pairings: yandere!ten x fem!reader, hint of jeno x fem!reader

word count: 10.3k+

a/n: SPECIAL THANKS TO ONE OF MY DEAR FRIENDS @hyuckshinee FOR GIVING ME FEEDBACK AND SUGGESTIONS <33

taglist: @pukupukupawpau @kasperneo @oonaaurora @sweettaeguk @jaemingold @kpopstanforlifeuwu @agabisworld @pc0604 @unknownnctizen @vsszn @adventuresofrose @benhardygalileo @y-ning

“So I’ve got like, shit tons of snacks stuffed in my luggage bags in case we run out.” Your friend Donghyuck proudly exclaimed, rapidly patting the bags next to him.

Chenle waved him off, “There’s no need to worry about it, I’ve got plenty of food supplies at home. There’s no way we’re gonna starve tonight.”

“Okay, but wait, I’m overthinking a little, so the eight of us go to yours after school and hang out for the entire night until the purge is over, right?” Renjun’s expression was pensive, alluding to paranoia kicking in.

Honestly, he wasn’t the only one who was a bit worried about tonight‘s events. Out of your group, Mark, Jisung, you and Donghyuck were also worried — but unlike Renjun, the rest of you decided for your worries to be left unspoken.

“Yeah.” “All the doors and windows and such are gonna be covered, right?”

“Yup. No need to worry Jun, we’re gonna be alright!” Chenle grinned confidently, before an exaggerated frown overtook his features, “Unless someone farts again stinks up the whole place-”

Making a fake offended expression at the younger boy’s words, Mark’s jaw dropped, “hey! I swear that wasn’t me!”

You gave Mark a side eye, “Funny how Renjun and Jisung threaten us by hoping our pillows are warm, it’s probably gonna be Mark who-” “Give the poor man a break,” Jeno cut you off, nudging your arm playfully.

“Thank you, Jen-” “Roast him during the Purge, that way time’ll go faster.” Jeno smiled innocently, eliciting laughter (along with protests, from Mark specifically,) from you all.

The Purge was once a year, where all crime was legal. If you could get out of your country, you would, but you weren’t able to this year.

Besides, it was fine. You were gonna be with your friends, protecting each other, and you were aware that most of them could fight, judging by the amount of fights you’ve seen them get into.

Seated behind you, a dark haired boy had his head propped up on his hand, staring at you with a soft look on his face.

Also behind you were your other classmates, a group of best friends, also talking (or rather, in this case teasing the dark haired one) amongst themselves.

“Aiyah,” Xiaojun shook his head, staring at his friend with an amused smile, “You’ve got it bad, man.”

“Think the word you’re trying to search for is ‘simp’.” Lucas burst out laughing at Yangyang’s blunt nickname for their lovesick friend, a juxtaposition to Kun trying to stifle a laugh.

“You’re like that one meme I sent Sicheng and Lucas last night,” Hendery paused to think, looking at the ceiling, “The ‘I’ll stare at you until you marry me’ one.”

It was at that moment that you locked eyes with your lovesick classmate and friend — Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul, commonly known as Ten Lee. Although you quickly tore your gaze away from the interesting male, you noted that in the corner of your eyes that he never took his intense gaze off you.

Seeing this all go down, Jeno subtly nudged your side with his elbow, “He’s been staring at you for like, what, eons?”

“Wait, wait, who?” Eager to know, the rest of your friends leaned towards your entertained friend, making you huff.

“Ten, of course,” Jeno answered as a matter-of-factly. The eight of you quickly turned to look quickly at the male in question, only to find his gaze still upon you.

“I think he’s shy!” Chenle cooed, nudging you not-so subtly with a mischievous grin to match, “It’s so obvious he likes you.”

Jaemin sent a look to Jeno, who simply rolled his eyes. You eyed them suspiciously, only to drop it quickly.

“Ten just thinks he likes you,” What? What did that mean? Mark shook his head, “He’s probably in love with you, if you ask me. You know, one time, he asked me if any of us were dating you.”

“(Y/N)? As if! I’d never go out with that Baba Yaga lookalike. I already feel bad for her future partner.” Renjun scoffed, receiving a soft punch from you.

“Look, I’d never seen the guy’s eyes twinkle so brightly — until I told him no, we’re not interested in you, and not in a million years.” The oldest of the friend group shrugged, leaning back in his chair, “That’s all I’m gonna say.”

To be honest, you did consider dating Mark and Jeno, but those thoughts were in the past… right? You didn’t feel anything for any of your friends, and as far as you knew, they didn’t feel anything whatsoever for you back. Or so you thought.

“I’ve never been so nervous when coming to school,” Jisung shuddered, “Once I looked at the teachers, I looked away as soon as possible! If they knew about the knife in my backpack… I’d be doomed, even before the purge starts.”

“That was funny as hell, you were speed walking so awkwardly like you were being squished!” Donghyuck chuckled, patting Jisung on the back.

These seven boys were closer to you than your own family, hence why you agreed to stick with them. You’d trust that they’d never purposely backstab you or throw you to the pack of killers on the streets tonight.

Speaking about your family, your parents were out of town for business reasons. You could only hope that they’ll survive. Seems they forgot about it or slept in a bit late before work, considering you heard their hurried footsteps and saw the note they stuck onto the fridge.

”Stay safe, kiddos.” With a solemn nod, your teacher observed all of the students, including you and your friends as you walked out the door.

He only hoped that you and your friends would survive the night, a subtle hint of pity on his usually indifferent and stoic face.

Hopping into Mark’s van hurriedly, you all tried to ensure that no one was left behind and that no one was about to suddenly join your group.

“I’m so fucking tired,” Renjun groaned, draped on his seat dramatically, “But at least we don’t have any homework due for this week.”

Donghyuck scoffed, “Yeah, because we might not even be able to hand in that work after tonight.”

“Dude, don’t jinx it!” Mark began to drive to Chenle’s house, eyebrows scrunched in worry.

“I’m just saying!”

“Wait, so are your parents already at home? Or are they gonna meet us after work?” Turning to the back where his best friend sat, Jisung blinked curiously.

With a shake of his head, Chenle placed his phone into his pocket, “Remember? They’re at my main house, seas away from us.”

“Right, sorry, I forgot.” Jisung let out an awkward chuckle.

20 minutes had passed, and now the eight of you were in Chenle’s house, sealed shut with the latest technology. Each of you grabbed a weapon — none of you were that stupid to rely on technology to save you.

Jeno and Jaemin took two handguns each, Chenle took a shotgun, Jisung and Mark chose a baseball bat, Renjun took a butcher’s knife, you chose a regular kitchen knife whilst Donghyuck picked a flamethrower. You all were lucky that some of you were trained to fight and/or defend, otherwise your group would’ve been dead meat the moment you stepped out of the house.

“A flamethrower? Really dude?” Mark cocked a brow at Donghyuck’s choice of weapon.

Standing awkwardly, Donghyuck shrugged, “You never know when you need it, and I wasn’t gonna leave the kitchen pyromaniacs to burn everything down.”

Aware that the nickname was intended to describe the people in the group who were bad at cooking, Mark and Jisung just sent a glare towards Donghyuck.

“Wait, wait!” Pulling out his phone, Jaemin quickly shot a selfie, ensuring that all bodies were in the frame, “Cheese!”

“Hey, Nana, I wasn’t ready!”

The rest of the time waiting for the Purge to officially begin flew by quickly. You and your friends spent that time eating some snacks, playing Mario Kart, filming questionable TikToks, taking thousands of selfies (much to everyone but yours’ disappointment), and just talking about the juiciest gossip or sitting in silence.

“May God be with you all.” And with that, the Purge had officially commenced. After the announcement was made, Jaemin sneakily played a horror movie. Most of you tried to swallow your fear down.

For the first three hours, it was fun. You guys finished the movie, after a bit of screaming, panicking and gripping onto each other with strength as if you were stuck to one another with gorilla glue. and listened to a guitar performance from Mark and Donghyuck. You wouldn’t be surprised if they decided to start a two man band, uploading their songs on Youtube or Soundcloud, dropping out of university and quitting their jobs to rise to stardom.

The group had also roasted each other often, played songs on Just Dance, ate and drank lots, and played beer pong (well, only Mark, Jeno, Donghyuck, Renjun and Chenle, the rest of you couldn’t be bothered or didn’t like beer).

“Gooooo whoever wins,” You slurred out, lazily draped on the couch. Jaemin just raised his cup of coke, “Yeah Jeno Lee!!”

At the mention of his name, the boy turned to the two of you on the couch, sending both of you a wink. You felt blood rush to your cheeks.

Seeing your reaction, Jaemin snapped his fingers, making you look at his direction curiously. “What the heck is that for?”

“Hey (Y/N), that look in your eye is telling me something.” At his comment, you scrunched your eyes, which never left Jeno’s figure, “What do you mean?”

“I mean, either someone has a little crush on my best friend, or you just got a lady boner from that wink alone.”

Jaemin received a light push from you, making him almost fall off of the couch, “Hey! Don’t touch the art, (Y/N)! Haven’t they ever told you in galleries to not touch the art?”

“Honestly, you seem like more of a kindergarteners’ finger painting during art class.” You shifted your position on the couch to face the boy who was resurfacing from the floor, “But I don’t know. I think maybe I do like him, just a little though, like last time.”

Jaemin just eyed you weirdly, “You think?”

Before you could respond, you all were met with and engulfed with darkness. The power was shut down, confusing your whole group, especially Chenle who was a mix of confused and frustrated.

Everyone started panicking, your voices overlapping each other’s.

“Jesus!” “I’m not Jesus, stop whacking me!” You could hear Mark whining.

“Where are you guys?!” “Ow, stop touching my hair, it’s sensitive and I styled it especially good today!”

“Sorry, but who cares?! Worry more about whoever just hacked the fucking protection system, I don’t want to die!” Was that Renjun or Chenle?

“We’re not going to die! We’ll beat their ass, we have a Jeno for a reason.” Now that definitely was Chenle’s voice.

“Okay, first of all, I think we need to calm the fuck down.” Donghyuck wisely suggested, opting to remain calm after a few seconds of panicking himself, “(Y/N), please turn on the flash on your phone.”

Doing as told, the bright light almost blinded everyone in the room.

”How about we stick together and find out who just did this?” Before any of you could answer Mark’s suggestion, there were several bangs and yells coming from the outside of the house’s protection system. You could hear the security walls start to break.

“I’m not gonna be surprised if they’re just teens in high school with a petty grudge,” Jeno muttered to you, receiving a snort and look of amusement from you.

Jaemin shrugged, “I doubt the security system is gonna work anymore, I think I agree with Mark. Better to have us all there to go against the group.”

After a few seconds of silence and shooting glances at each other, there was a silent agreement made to go out and fight whoever was trying to get in.

The eight of you packed your bags full of essential necessities just in case you seven had to go run off and leave the house until the sun rose up again.

As quietly as possible, you all made your way to the front door, Mark standing the nearest to the door.

“Dude, you’re gonna have to open the door,” Donghyuck gestured to the door knob, “We’re right behind you.”

Looking at every single one of you, Mark sighed, and reluctantly opened the door.... only for him to gasp in shock and disturbance.

“What?” Jisung was next to speak up, “Wh, what happened?”

Although his mouth was open, Mark couldn’t utter any words out, choosing to simply point out where he was facing.

Being the second at the front, Renjun decided to take a look for himself, backing away at the sight that was in front of him. “There’s only one dead body.”

This was alarming. Wasn’t there several yells and banging earlier? It sounded like there was more than one person outside, but no one came to ambush you guys when the door was opened. You were only greeted with a dead body to the door, was it a message of sorts from someone?

“I dunno if we should stay here any longer,” You furrowed your brows, “Is this some sort of warning? The security system’s not working anymore, either.”

“Someone definitely hacked into it,” Chenle grit his teeth, “I think we should go out. I’d rather not have this house be demolished if we stayed longer.”

“But what if people just wanna use this place?” At Jeno’s question, Chenle blinked.

“I’ll kick them out tomorrow, then. I’ll hire some people to help me with the cleaning and recovery.” The boy batted his eyelashes, cool and collected.

Mark spoke up next, “Alright, then. Hands up if you wanna go out.”

Majority of hands were raised, save for a reluctant Donghyuck, Renjun and Jisung.

The first two, seeing that the majority raised their hands, mirrored their actions, but Jisung remained firm in his decision.

“Jisung?” At Chenle’s call, the boy in question looked at the floor, “I’m… I’m scared. What if-”

“Jisung, if anything happens, we’ll all be here to protect you.” You gently placed a hand on his shoulder, tossing the younger a reassuring smile.

Waiting for the boy’s final decision, he raised his hand after a few seconds, “You guys better protect me.”

“Of course!” Squishing the youngest boy’s cheeks, Jaemin cooed, “Anything for our baby!” “Hey, let go of me!”

The next thing you eight knew, each of you were walking aimlessly on the street, opting to simply just go forward. Houses would pass, but there would always be something off about them. Something inside you told you to be careful, but maybe it was just anxiety kicking in.

Noticing your uneasy expression, Jeno gently placed a hand on your shoulder, “(Y/N), you good?”

“Yeah, I’m good.” You weren’t. You had qualms about the journey. Wasn’t it better to stay in a different building rather than just roam around the now dangerous streets during Purge night?

But then again, you trusted your friends. There was a less likely chance of any of you dying if you stuck together, anyways.

Jisung, you and Renjun flinched upon hearing a woman yell in one of the houses, a man pleading for his life to be spared only for the sound of a gunshot to silence him. Jeno pulled you and Jisung further away from the house, an uncomfortable and disturbed expression plastered on everyone’s faces.

“Maybe it’s better we head off to the city. I doubt many people are gonna be there, and it’s safer than this nightmare of a suburban environment,” Mark suggested.

“We’re going the right way to the city, anyways,” Jaemin shrugged knowing his way around the streets, his eyes soon locking onto the massive green sign that read ‘CITY UP AHEAD’. The rest of the sign had evidently faded away with time. “Just keep going forward and we’ll be there soon.”

That was a lie. It took you around 30, almost 40 minutes just to simply get to the end of the suburban hell, not even the heart of the city.

Fortunately for you and your friend group, none of you got ambushed, hiding whenever groups of people were storming around and looking for blood, and ignoring nonchalantly (read: guiltily) cries for help as adults were being hunted down like a deer in the woods.

The only sounds, save for the cries for help, gunshots and such resounding through the air were eight pairs of footsteps, and the crunch of the crackers that Donghyuck and Renjun were eating.

The pairs of footsteps only halted upon the unusual sound of a little kid’s cries, the eight of you turning to each other with confused and concerned expressions. Although your group decided that the ‘every group for themselves’ rule was to be implemented, you couldn’t ignore a child’s calls for help, so you hid behind a nearby wall.

Taking a peek at the comotion, Jaemin snapped his head back to the rest of you, whispering “Little girl, her mom’s dead and there’s a weird biker gang surrounding her. They look like they’re on drugs, not gonna lie?”

“And how do you know that?” Chenle questioned, “Kidding, kidding. What should we do?”

“I.. I dunno.” You kept looking at each other, ultimately deciding to stay quiet and see how the scene would play out.

“Why… Why mommy?” The little girl stood tall, fear evident in her eyes.

One of the men spoke up, trying to appear intimidating with his studded leather jacket, “You see, kid, your mommy owed us money, but she never paid it back and tried to run away from us by leaving the city with you.”

The child, although confused, looked up at the guy who spoke up, “That’s not nice of her, but you’re not nice. You hurt her!” You watched as the group simultaneously laughed, towering the girl and staring her down, their shadows covering her frightened figure.

“Mommy,” The little girl whimpered, “Please wake up. Please save me.”

“Your mommy can’t save you anymore,” A gruff voice tried to poorly imitate the young girl, “She’s dead, and you will be, too.”

“No!” Running towards the gang without thinking, Mark hit who he assumed to be the leader of the gang on the head, the loud clunk sound of the metallic bat’s collision with the guy’s head bouncing through the air.

You, Jaemin, Jeno, Donghyuck and Jisung were the next to move and join the brawl. Luckily, there weren’t that many in the gang and Donghyuck was able to do most of the work, lighting some gang members on fire as you avoided the burning figures.

“What are you waiting for?!” Jisung yelled out towards Renjun and Chenle, Mark moving past the former and pushing the child in yours and Jeno’s direction, “Please take care of her for me, make sure she doesn’t see much of what’s going on!”

“You sure?” “We’ll take care of it!” Jaemin answered for Mark.

“Okay,” You breathed out, holding onto the little hands of the girl, “Hi there, what’s your name?” Smiling shakily, you tried to hide the visible fear in your voice in order to distract the little girl from the violent scene.

“Yuri,” The girl responded, still evidently in tears. You locked eyes with Jeno, who simply looked back at you calmly and smiled at the girl, “That’s a nice name.”

In yours and Jeno’s stead, Renjun and Chenle took care of the rest of the members, the latter almost getting beat up by one if it weren’t for Renjun chopping his head off.

One of the members, a scrawny one who was clearly angered, screeched, “You killed our leader, jackass!”

Donghyuck’s eyes widened at the sound, turning to Mark who had his back turned to the angered guy, “Mark! Watch out!”

Looking behind him at the sound of Donghyuck’s voice, Mark took his eyes off of his opponents. To you and your friends’ horror, this led to the older boy getting stabbed in the heart.

Chenle croaked, “No!” before avenging Mark by shooting the gang members around him, anger overtaking his body.

Before Mark’s body could fall to the ground, Donghyuck caught him, evidently traumatised as the rest of you.

You and Jeno didn’t look back, trying to distract the girl with conversations, but you both could easily assume what had just occurred.

“Wake up, Melk,” Donghyuck cried out, “Malk. Mark. Get up. I’m sorry. Please don’t tell me I got you killed.”

“You didn’t kill me, I just di...didn’t look properly,” The older one shook his head gently, wincing at the pain.

Jaemin and Jisung had killed off the last remaining members with more drive, not wanting any more of their friends to be injured.

Carrying Yuri behind his back, Jeno followed behind you to go see Mark, “We’ll get you patched up, dude. We’ll go to the nearest hospital, a-and-”

“It’s the Purge. No sane hospital would be open,” Mark’s voice started getting quieter, as the rest of you surrounded his body.

“We, we could try ourselves!” Jisung spoke up, grabbing the rolls of bandages from his backpack. But that wouldn’t save Mark, and you knew it.

With the last bit of strength Mark had, he shook his head, “Stay here until I’m gone, that’s all I ask.”

Sniffles could be heard from the majority of you, tears threatening to or already have escaped.

“Okay.” Jaemin nodded, holding Mark’s hand softly.

“I don’t really like saying this cheesy stuff, but… I love you guy...s…” Before the oldest boy could continue his sentence, his body had tensed, then fell limp.

After a few seconds of attempting to process his death, Jisung softly called out, “Mark?”

“He’s gone,” Yuri commented, crying as she was reminded of her own mom, “But he’s up there, I’m sure. He loves you, so he’ll… he’ll protect you.”

The little child’s words hit harder for the rest of you, silently mourning for your now deceased friend.

Unlike the stories where people who are selected by authors in other stories to die get to say goodbye, Mark’s body being eternally asleep meant that his goodbyes would never come to physical fruition.

Donghyuck sucked in a long breath, standing still at the sight of one of his best friends’ dead bodies. You’d never seen him look so distant.

You all stood for a few minutes in silence, ignoring the sounds of distant cars, gunshots, and cries for help echoing through the streets as all pairs of eyes laid upon Mark’s unmoving corpse.

“Come on,” Jeno's voice was quiet as if he was whispering, voice cracking at the end, “Let’s not die here. Mark would’ve wanted us to—“

“What the fuck do you know?” Chenle uncharacteristically barked, storming up to a surprised Jeno, “He’s not here to tell us—“

“Chenle...” Jisung grabbed hold of his closest friend to prevent any fights, “Jeno’s right. Mark’s selfless and would prefer his death not be in vain.”

Although his head was down, you could see tears sliding down the second youngest boy’s face. “Fi... fine.”

And so, the trek onwards to find a hideout was continued. With one last silent goodbye, you all left your dear friend Mark.

Silence followed the group, no one wanting to speak. Not even the usually cheerful when bad things happen friends wanted to speak, save for Mark who couldn't speak anymore. Some needed more time to let today’s events sink in, while some were just mourning the losses and terrified if anyone was next. In your case, it was the former.

Was Mark watching you guys from above with God? He was a good, devoted Christian who believed in God, so you hoped he was welcomed to the afterlife regardless of your own religion and beliefs. He didn’t even get to confess to the girl he liked, Mina, or make a whole album with Taeyong as promised.

Mark died too young, and his downfall was from his own heroism.

After only a minute, Yuri got bored of being carried by Jeno, so she opted to get off. You watched as she wrapped her small left hand around your right, and her right hand around Jeno’s left, which made the two of you smile at the subtle yet cute action.

“We’ll be okay,” You breathed out, “Mark will be watching over us, like a guardian angel.”

“Remember when we all thought that Lucas was some sort of fallen angel, because Mark saw the scratches on his back?” Jeno scoffed at the memory, Donghyuck laughing as he overheard your conversation, “One night stands are really something.”

“What’s a one night stand?” Yuri curiously asked, looking over to Donghyuck who froze at both the question and the glare you and Jeno sent towards the poor boy.

Jaemin turned around , “Ignore what he said, uh… what’s your name?” “Yuri.” “What a lovely name for a sweet girl.” Jaemin complimented, showing his smile that was akin to a bunny. His compliment made Yuri smile back at him bashfully.

Hearing hurried footsteps behind you, the group turned around only to see your teacher from your last period in front of you.

He stopped a few metres away from you eight, to the point you couldn’t see his face.

“Mr Lee?” Although he had the same last name as Mark, Donghyuck and Jeno, Sooman Lee was not related to the three whatsoever. Renjun‘s face scrunched into one of confusion, “What brings you here?”

“I-I just wanted to warn you guys,” Stammering, Mr. Lee’s expression was concerned and frightened, but none of you could see that.

The whole group however could see the shiny metal that he was holding in his hand, alarming you all. In his other hand, he held another object, but you couldn’t identify what it was.

Crouching down, you and Jeno shifted to face the only child of the group in an attempt to distract her from what could transpire soon and to shield her from the commotion.

“Fuck,” You heard someone mutter from behind you, “I’m nearsighted.”

“Warn us?” Donghyuck stepped closer, suspicious about the teacher, “About what?”

Mr. Lee stepped back, “About, uh, who’s coming.”

“Oh yeah?” Finding his confidence being brought back by Donghyuck’s actions, Renjun stepped closer, “And how do we know this isn’t a plot to kill us, sir?”

“Come on,” Mr. Lee frowned, “Your friend Mark’s my star student. Why should I kill you all?”

“More like why shouldn’t you?” Chenle countered, joining Renjun and Donghyuck, “It’s the purge tonight, and we’re very aware of how you don’t like some of us. We‘re not stupid.”

“Wait, I’ll give you proof!” Mr. Lee cried out, only to make the mistake of dashing closer to the group.

Mr. Lee quickly found himself on the floor, being beaten by his students, yelping out for help.

Renjun sniggered cruelly, “Do you really think someone’s gonna save you tonight? Society is selfish, weren’t you the one to tell us just weeks ago that sometimes the world can be an eat or be eaten environment?”, eliciting a chuckle from Donghyuck, Chenle and Jaemin.

Jisung suddenly stopped kicking the poor old man, his stone cold expression contorting into one of shock.

Jaemin looked towards the younger boy’s direction, obviously confused as to why he stopped, “Jisungie? What’s wrong?”

“That’s not a weapon.” The youngest boy’s words caught everyone’s attention, the older man’s suffering halted, “He’s holding a flashlight. Shaped like a knife to scare people off.”

Everyone let Jisung’s words sink in, feeling dread and horror in their guts.

“I was trying to say that there’s a big threat coming for you guys,” Mr. Lee cautioned, his voice suddenly rough, “I wasn’t sure about it, until I saw it with my own eyes. And then I got caught by them, then chased.”

“I’m so, so sorry,” Renjun bit his lips, “Who? Who’s after us?”

“It’s...” hesitant to say, Mr. Lee was cut off by the sound of several gunshots.

Your former teacher was shot in the head numerous times by an unidentifiable figure in a dark green van zooming past your group.

“Holy shit,” Donghyuck gasped, “Did- did he just die right in front of us?”

“He did.” Confirming, Jaemin appeared to be in a daze.

Besides you, Jeno and Yuri, who were still talking, the rest of the group just stood in silence, save for Renjun who dropped to his knees with blood splatters stained on his shirt and dripping down his chin.

“Wait, do you guys hear that weird motorcycle sound?” Chenle stopped, confused, which in turn made the rest of you stop.

The sound that Chenle pointed out was only roaring louder, until a gunshot rang in the air. Panicked screams resounded through the street, Yuri losing her grip on you as she was shot. One of the gang members from earlier had survived, although he was rapidly losing blood.

Jeno started shooting at the perpetrator, the latter losing control of his vehicle and creating a large streak of blood to paint the street..

“Yuri, hey, hey, stay with us, please-” Her eyes shut with an almost sad smile on her face, which pained you even more.

You all stood in silence, unsure of what to do once again. Another life lost on this dreadful night.

That was, until Jaemin’s voice cut through the air like a knife. “Chenle?”

“Yeah?” “Burn them all, just to make sure they’re all dead.” “...Okay.” The next thing you all knew, a group of bodies burned in front of your own eyes, feeling lucky that the rest of you only suffered minor injuries such as bruises, cuts and almost broken bones.

“Let’s…” Taking his gaze off from the burning bodies, Renjun turned his back to you all, “Let’s keep going. For them.”

The warm night suddenly felt so cold with the knowledge that you’d just lost two people, not expecting to be forced out into the dangerous city. But the 7 of you tried to keep on a brave face, wordlessly strolling down the street to a bridge nearby.

Chenle nudged you, offering a bottle of water. “Thanks,” Taking the water bottle, you were quick to gulp down half of it’s contents.

“I really don’t want any more of us to die.” Jisung spoke, with the rest of you silently agreeing.

Jaemin and Renjun, who were at the front, suddenly halted to a stop, confusing the rest of you.

“Wha...” Jisung paused, clutching onto his bat with a disturbed look full of disbelief, “Isn’t that Daseul?”

Ah, Renjun’s... strange ex. Maybe that was too nice of a word to describe her, actually. She was kind natured at first, but around a month later, she became a more possessive girlfriend, initially manipulating him successfully, only for the rest of you to help him out and see straight.

The girl in question was hunched over, but her head snapped to your direction upon hearing footsteps.

“Renjun?” Daseul blinked, not believing her eyes, “Jisung, Donghyuck, Chenle, Jaemin, (Y/N), Jeno,” She acknowledged each of you, her eyes glazing on the people she’d mentioned.

“What are you doing here?” Chenle scoffed with an obvious distaste, gently pushing Renjun behind him.

“I got separated from my group a few minutes ago...” Daseul started off, looking back to the river, “We were being chased by a bunch of psycho teenagers, I dunno where the rest went.” Something felt off. Maybe it was her unusually calm demeanour.

At the end of the bridge however, Renjun, Jaemin and you spotted a few dead bodies, but refused to say a word yet.

“You sure about that,” Jaemin mumbled under his breath, making you snort.

“How long has it been since you left me, Junjun?” Daseul pouted, pulling out a knife from under her skirt and twirling it. There was blood on the blade. Well, shit.

You all watched as the girl suddenly turned to your party, eyes holding no warmth or fear whatsoever. She gripped the knife tightly, making you all prepare or whatever would happen next with your own weapons.

Your group outnumbered her, it was gonna be fine.

“Please Daseul, put down the knife.” Renjun was crazy for trying to talk down his psycho ex, but it worked.

Dropping the knife, she calmly walked over to a confused Renjun who was now being backed up into the ledge of the bridge.

Daseul then pushed him off the bridge before any of you could intervene, leaving him to drown in the waters below.

The rest of you stood in shock, Donghyuck acting the quickest, ”I’ll go save him! You guys deal with this bitch!”

“Gladly,” You hissed with fury, ready to beat the girl to death. Renjun didn’t deserve this treatment.

Discarding his flame thrower onto the cold pavement under his feet, Donghyuck jumped into the water, Jaemin carefully watching him.

Kicking the girl’s knife away, you stormed alongside Jeno, Chenle and Jisung to apprehend the suddenly nervous girl. Her screaming and kicking wasn’t able to save her now, and you only had apathy for this girl’s safety.

“Fuck!” Jaemin’s voice sounded as if he was in pain while he cried out, making you four pause, “Hyuck drowned... the current was too rough and pulled him in.”

Silence followed. Nobody made a move.

But not a single soul complained when Jeno harshly slammed Daseul’s head onto the concrete, leaving a faint blood stain on the hard surface. No one also complained when the boy threw her off the bridge to fall and die on the concrete below the bridge.

“Finally,” Chenle huffed whilst wiping away sweat, trying to process the third death of the night in the group, “That bitch deserved it.”

“Agreed.” You nodded, looking at your friends for any injuries, “You guys doing okay?”

You only got three nods from Jeno, Jisung and Chenle.

“Jaemin? You ok—“ His body slumped to the ground, an indifferent expression on his face, but there was something in his eyes that he was clearly hiding.

“What happened? Is it Donghyuck? Or Ren...” Jisung questioned Jaemin, who simply responded by weakly pointing to where Renjun and Donghyuck supposedly were.

The rest of you stared at one another with anxiety, slowly making your way over to the side of the bridge.

There was a sense of horror that filled the four of you, realising on the opposite pathway to the one where the girl’s body laid, was Renjun Huang’s dead body. Only the river stream where Donghyuck’s body was separated their pathways.

Donghyuck had died in vain, and Renjun had missed the river, falling on the surface with his neck snapped and blood pooling around his body.

All five of you who remained teared up at the ludicrous losses. What made you so confident that you were gonna be okay?

It suddenly occurred to you that Renjun, Donghyuck and Mark would never be able to see their families again. They would never have the chance to say goodbye, just as they weren’t able to say goodbye to you.

Taking the flame thrower with him, Chenle’s eyes that were usually filled with warmth began to appear colder and distant, like a flame being extinguished.

“The only way to go is to go forward, we won’t find another place if we just stay here or go back and die,” Jisung muttered. Was it really worth it to go outside? Would similar events have occurred, had you decided to stay at Chenle’s home?

Coming to the conclusion that Jisung was right, you all slowly trekked forward. You could only hope there weren't any more houses with screams erupting from inside, or buildings with top notch security.

At least your hope this time didn’t fail you. Many houses were empty, although numerous of them were definitely broken into, however it only took your group less than 15 minutes to find an area with buildings that weren’t broken into.

Your group of five decided to pick the building in the middle of the buildings that weren’t broken into, believing it to be wise.

“Fucking finally,” Chenle let out a sigh of relief, all five of you standing in front of a safe looking warehouse. It wasn’t too big, and had only one floor, maybe a few rooms but that was alright with all of you.

“Dibs not going in first,” raising your hands, Jisung, Jeno and Chenle were quick to follow.

Slow to react, Jaemin hissed, “Every single one of you are so childish.” And yet, he still went into the building first, gripping onto his guns tightly in case you all collectively chose the wrong building to stay in.

Letting out an alarmed cry, Jisung seemingly swatted air away from his face, making you all turn to him worriedly, “What? What?”

“I thought I saw a cockroach,” Jisung frantically looked around the room, receiving looks of annoyance or eyerolls from the rest of you.

Turning on the light, the warehouse seemed to be in good shape. You could safely assume by your own observation that this building was used recently before the purge tonight.

Jeno’s voice echoed, turning around to Jisung, “See? There’s nothing wrong with the building, no need to worry.”

For the next few minutes, you all sat on the floor against a large crate, completely worn out, empty yet traumatised. That was until you heard the sound of the door opening, you five scrambling up as soon as it was heard.

The five of you pulled out your weapons, aiming it at the door and waiting for the person or group to enter.

Chenle tried turning on the flamethrower, but the gas had already run out, so he threw the device on the floor and pointed his shotgun towards whoever entered the building.

“What are you guys doing here?” Turning around at the familiar yet unfamiliar voice, the five of you jumped, some even yelping in surprise.

“Wait,” Chenle smiled genuinely, but you could see his eyes still somewhat looked empty, “Sicheng!”

Sicheng and his friends, the ones from earlier, had found you guys. Their eyes lit up in recognition, pulling your whole group in for a hug.

“Oh my god,” Jisung groaned, “I thought we were done for. But to answer your question, we were attacked at home, and tried to find another good place to hide for the rest of the Purge.”

“Yikes, sorry to hear that,” Xiaojun hissed, his expression appearing as if he were hurt himself. Kun furrowed his brows, “There’s more of you, right? Mark, Renjun, Donghyuck?”

The five of you went silent, looking away from your other friends.

“Dead,” Jaemin simply responded, Hendery placing a hand on his shoulder empathetically. “Sorry to hear that.”

“Don’t apologise, not your fault,” You waved them off, still visibly affected.

Jeno spoke next, “Why are you guys here?”

“It’s one of our hideouts,” Ten’s voice was smooth, “You guys can continue to stay here, if you'd like.”

“Really?” “Of course! We’re all friends, aren’t we?” Taking a quick glance at you, Ten’s welcoming smile never wavered.

Out of your little group of five, Jisung felt as if something was wrong with his smile. But then again, maybe it was just paranoia after losing Renjun, Mark and Donghyuck, the youngest thought to himself.

“Mmm, let’s go get some more supplies at the back,” nudging Ten, Sicheng’s eyes quickly flitted to your figure before turning back to the older guy. Not that any of you noticed.

“Wait,” Ten had a hint of a smirk on his face, “I think we need one more person to help carry it. Not like it’s heavy, but there’s too much stuff at the back for just us two to carry.”

“Oh, I can help,” you suggested, walking over to the males needing assistance with their items.

Sharing a look with Sicheng before turning back to you, Ten nodded, “Come on, then. Thanks for the help.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Sicheng turned his back to you, walking over to the room next to the one you were currently standing in. You and Ten followed him.

“If I can ask,” Ten spoke up once you three were in the other room, “How did you end up losing your other friends?”

“Mark tried to protect a little girl from a gang that killed them both, Renjun got pushed off a bridge by his ex and Donghyuck drowned trying to save him.” Your expression remained indifferent, but Ten was aware that you were hurting inside. Your eyes couldn’t lie.

Ten hummed, “The real monsters are humans. Humans are the worst kinds of monsters you can meet.”

“Yeah, definite-” Pausing at the lack of people beside you, the sight of Sicheng reaching out for you made you scream.

In the other room, your friends jumped up at the sound of your fear.

“(Y/N)!” Jeno reached out to you, only to freeze at the sight of Yangyang, Lucas, Kun, Hendery and Xiaojun pointing guns at him, Jaemin, Jisung and Chenle.

Dragging you unceremoniously back to the original room, Sicheng held onto you firmly.

“What the hell is this?” Jaemin spat out, “Are you seriously gonna kill us?”

“Not if you comply with what I want.” Taking the silence that followed as a sign to continue, Ten smiled, “I want (Y/N)," Ten added simply, “And I’ll let the rest of you go if you let me.”

“No way in hell is our friend going with you-” Before the seething Chenle could continue, Xiaojun hit Chenle on the back of his head with the back of his gun firmly, making the rest of your friends gasp.

Knocking the gun away from Xiaojun’s hand, an angry Jisung tackled Xiaojun’s gun away and snatched it for himself, hitting Sicheng with it so that you were free to fight Hendery and Yangyang. As the rest of Ten’s friends were too caught up with their surprise, Jeno began fighting with Ten, Jaemin snatching the gun from Kun’s grasp and aiming his own handguns at Ten.

“Shoot him! Now!” Your voice rang out, making Jaemin shoot with confidence.

Everyone had stopped fighting to see the result, a tense silence filling the air.

Suddenly, Jeno’s body dropped to the ground with a loud thud, Jaemin’s eyes wide in horror.

The gun shots had missed Ten, instead making its way to Jeno’s back.

Chenle closed his eyes, hoping this was a dream.

“I told you I was a more accurate shooter.” Jeno chuckled almost bitterly upon recalling a memory of his and Jaemin learning how to shoot, “Rather than a backstabber, you’re a backshooter, Jaem,”

Knowing his best friend was only trying to ease the guilt with some poorly timed humour, Jaemin grit his teeth, “This isn’t fucking funny, Jeno.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” Jeno then met your eyes. Had you always looked this beautiful? “Just kick their asses for me, won't you?”

“Gladly.” you responded immediately, gripping your knife tightly. Yeah, you always did. Concluding in his mind, Jeno started to succumb to his injuries.

And with that, the light in his eyes faded, entrusting you four would make it out alive. Unlike him.

“No…” Chenle whispered, failing to walk forward as he was getting held back by Lucas.

Ten blinked in an attempt to process what had just occurred. Suddenly, he let out a boisterous laugh only to receive a dirty look from the four of your original group. “This could’ve all been avoided, had you simply chosen to give (Y/N) to me. So, (Y/N), are you gonna come with me?”

“She’s not going with you, dipshit,” Jaemin hissed, evidently ready to shoot as he pointed the handgun at Ten.

You made the split quick to give yourself up, not wanting any more deaths to occur, “Jaemin, no-”

The boy in question then shot an unsuspecting Yangyang on the foot, Xiaojun shooting your friend through the head in response. Sicheng helped Yangyang get in the car to treat the younger’s injuries, grunts of pain escaping the latter.

“No!” Jisung wailed, struggling in Hendery’s grasp until the cock of a gun was heard.

Jisung and Chenle were being held like before, but this time at gunpoint. Their weapons were taken away during the brawl, leaving them with only bruises and cuts on their faces to accompany the traumas of today.

“(Y/N), don’t give in!” Jisung yelled out, not caring that his voice was cracking, “It’s okay, just run and-”

You turned to Ten, an indifferent expression on your face. “If I do go with you, would you let them go?”

He nodded, the now eerie smile never leaving his face.

“Then I’ll go,” You walked over to the male vying for your love, “Willingly, if you set them free. They’re only kids, Ten. Please.”

Ten wouldn’t admit it outloud, but the fact that your voice when pleading almost sounded as if you were about to burst into tears made him almost feel bad for what you had just gone through. Considering that he only cared for a very small number of people, you included, it wasn’t surprising that he genuinely cared for you.

“Lucas. Hendery.” A call of their name was all it took for the two to let your remaining friends go, “And all of you, don’t follow them. You two, I’m sure you know how to get out.”

“I don’t want to.” Chenle scowled, his eyes only softening when you looked at him.

You shook your head, standing your ground, “Lele. I can’t afford to lose more of you, we already lost five of us for good.”

“But-” “Please. Just go.” With a sorrowful glance tossed your way, Jisung dragged a reluctant Chenle out onto the dangerous streets. You could only hope it was better that they were out there than trapped in this hell.

You turned back to the obsessive stranger, and former friend, “Thanks for sparing them, I guess.”

“Well, they made it easier for them,” Ten shrugged nonchalantly, “Let’s get goi-”

“Wait!” At your commanding tone, he stopped, a glint of curiosity visible on his features.

“Could I… at least say goodbye to my parents?” You didn’t want them involved in this mess, so you decided it was better to part ways. Or at least ask.

“Right! Of course! I mean, I was gonna surprise you by meeting them. Kun, could you escort them out?”

They were here this entire time? You furrowed your brows.

Kun pushed two familiar people out of their car, Ten giving the disgusted and tied up duo a hug, “My in-laws! Lovely to see you.”

Taking a step back in disbelief, you shifted your focus to your parents, “Why are they…”

“Oh, sweetheart, they’re the ones that gave you to me, seriously. Even before this year’s Purge!” Cutting you off, he chimed happily slinging an arm around you, “They made a deal with me, that you could be mine forever when the Purge began.”

You looked to Ten’s other friends, who remained calm but happy for their friend. Was there anyone you could really trust here?

You snapped your attention to the two stiff figures that Ten let go of, “You sold me out? Seriously?”

No response. Just downcasted expressions, finding the floor to be the most interesting object in the room.

“I cared for you!” The ‘I love you’ that you wanted to say along with your goodbyes was gone the minute you understood what they had done. “I was worried for you!”

A feeling of bitterness enveloped you, cold eyes staring into two regretful ones. Could you honestly blame them? Truthfully, everyone actively participating in the purge was selfish. You and your friends were selfish to ignore people’s cries of help earlier, scared to die. Just as your parents were.

“But you fucking betrayed me.” “We didn-“ “Ah ah ah.” Wagging a finger, Ten smiled, “Remember what we discussed, my dear in-laws.” His name for your parents almost made you recoil in disgust, had it not been for the terrible revelation of betrayal you had just been provided with.

Yangyang huffed in the car, impatience filling him, “Can we just quit the stalling?”

“Yeah, yeah, okay. Lucas, Hendery, take care of my in-laws, won’t you?” Ten questioned sweetly, tilting his head.

At least they were safe as I wished earlier. You sighed, only to shriek in horror when the two shot your parents in the head.

“You weren’t supposed to see that.” Ten rolled his eyes, evidently not phased by the events yet still annoyed that his plan didn’t go through as expected.

Your wails of mourning for your parents were loud enough for other people besides the group surrounding you to hear. Too bad that they either didn’t care, or were too loyal to their friend to help.

“Anyways,” With a snap of his fingers, Ten gushed fondly at the sight of you now restrained by 3 of his friends, “Let’s go home now darling, I know you’ll be exhausted after crying. I’ve seen you cry yourself to sleep before?”

Upon the realisation that he had been stalking you, your jaw dropped. “Fucking sick psychos!” You attempted to squirm out of Xiaojun, Kun and Yangyang’s grasp, “Let me go, damnit!”

“Can I, like, shut your girlfriend up with tape?” Xiaojun fumed, almost getting whacked in the head by you.

Ten shook his head, “Let her scream as much as she wants, she’ll grow out of it soon enough. What a bratty attitude?”

What did Ten mean, bratty? He literally killed two of your close friends, and your parents. Although the latter pair betrayed you, it didn’t mean you didn’t love or care for them. How were you supposed to be okay with that?

“What the fuck,” You cried out, failing to process everything that had occurred tonight, “Why? Are you gonna torture me or some fucked up shit?”

The obsessed male in front of you playfully frowned, “Of course not! You must be joking with me, I love you too much to hurt you.”

“You hurt- no, killed my friends and parents. I’m not gonna be surprised if I’m next.” Ensuring that you were going into the backseat of the large car that your parents came out from, Yangyang pressed a cloth to your nose and mouth, making you yell before slumping into your sleep.

“Sleeping beauty could never.” Ten crooned to his love, caressing your cheeks and shifting your position so that you were sleeping in the best position. Yangyang cringed at the sight of affection, gagging, but the older boy paid him no mind.

Hendery was next to chime in, hopping into the driver’s seat, “The Purge always makes me feel so alive. Especially tonight!”

“Yeah, but then once it’s over we have to clean all this blood and dirt off our clothes, nails, hair,” Yangyang scoffed at Kun’s lack of enthusiasm, “Bro, you’re such a real vibe killer.”

“I think we’ve got everyone inside.” Counting quickly again, Lucas hummed, making Ten smile grow.

“Let’s hit the road, then.”

“Ten,” “Hmm?” “Curious, but you don’t have to tell us,”

Sicheng pauses, “But what made (Y/N) so different from the girls and guys that you’ve been with? Actually, what made you like her?”

What did make him like you in the first place?

Ah, right, it was back in your first year of university.

Ten had accidentally pulled an all-nighter, making deals and helping Kun’s business flourish. Insomnia didn’t help him, so the boy simply opted to study for a bit until boredom took over him, and he switched to painting until the sun had already risen.

You had noticed for the past week that Ten, someone who had become your friend through a mutual friend, had heavy eye bags under his eyes and a look that just screamed ‘Shoot me now’. Despite his extremely tired appearance, Ten didn’t hesitate to help tutor you in your worst subject two days ago, so that made you decide to bring him Americano. Even if that meant going out of your way to get the drink, disregarding the rain and your lack of umbrella as you had forgotten to bring one.

“I can’t tell whether I’ve become delusional, or you’re actually wet as fuck.” As a response, Ten received a grin from you.

“The latter. Now that’s some wet ass—“ “Yangyang’s starting to rub on you, huh?” Ten shifted his gaze to the liquid that you bought, “Thanks a lot, (Y/N).” Usually, he was good with words, but he couldn’t bring himself to find the right words whenever he was graced with your presence lately.

Right, that’s the damned day that his infatuation began.

As for Jisung and Chenle, your hopes were right - they were physically okay, alive, but traumatised from the events of the night.

“We should’ve stayed,” Gritting his teeth, Chenle kicked a small pebble away from him whilst walking. The reception was absolute shit, leaving him and Jisung unable to call for help. That is, if anyone would pick up. He felt guilt upon the realisation that he and Jisung would have to explain to Mark, Renjun, Donghyuck, Jaemin and Jeno’s families that they all died, and to yours that you were being held captive by a fucking lunatic.

“No, we would’ve died and she would have hated herself for losing us.” Jisung frowned, “Ten’s obsessed with her, but I doubt he would’ve killed her. There’s more of a chance for her to escape if we figure out a plan.” The younger knew that their friends who had died tonight would want them all alive and happy.

“What plan?!” Chenle stopped on the sidewalk of an unusually quiet street in the city, making his best friend stop. “There’s more of them, and less of us. We lost our strongest friends!”

Jisung turned to the older boy, “But we can at least fucking try, even if it doesn’t work!” Was he being too optimistic? Was he attempting to play the hero? Was it his fault he didn’t want to lose another friend?

Before Jisung or Chenle could continue their argument, the noise of a heavy vehicle coming their way made the two halt.

“Chenle? Jisung?”

Your eyes opened slowly, only for you to be met with an unfamiliar place. Clean marble floors, fancy white walls, a chandelier, a black round table filled with your favourite food.

Oh, and Ten sitting opposite you, his eyes never leaving yours, “Welcome home.” What. A. Creep.

You frowned, looking around, “This isn't my home.” Ten had never exhibited red flags to you, which honestly, kind of terrified you.

The man in front of you shrugged, “You’ll get used to it and call it your home, eventually.”

Noticing you were dressed in fancier, mature but not revealing clothing, you blinked. It looked like it was from a luxury brand.

“Like it? I designed it myself,” Taking a swig from the wine in his glass, his eyes finally looked away from you, “The best for my love.”

Ignoring his comment, you furrowed your brows, “You undressed me?” “Of course, but I didn’t do anything else without your consent.” He may have selfishly kidnapped you out of ‘love’, but he wasn’t pure evil.

You let out a small scoff, “Well, you didn’t get my consent to kill my friends, Ten.”

“Ouch.” He was evidently sarcastic, his expression looked almost bored, “You hurt me.”

“And you tied me up.” “You’d obviously escape.” He did have a point.

If you weren’t tied up nor kidnapped, this would've been a nice romantic dinner.

“Come on, free my hands so I can eat. Promise I won’t hurt you.” It was worth a try, but he shook his head, “I’ll feed you myself until I know you won’t be such a brat.”

“I deserve to be freed, considering I’ll be living here and you killed the majority of the people I love.” Seeing his expression slightly soften, you continued, “Please, Ten. I seriously won’t do anything.”

Humans really were monsters. Maybe this included you too for manipulating him.

Completely aware that you were lying, Ten hummed, pretending to be in thought about it. You were going to attack him, maybe even kill him (and maybe he’d let you try, in the future). The best of liars could often tell if a person was lying.

“Alright.” You perked up at Ten’s word, ignoring his lovesick smile you had quickly grown to despise, “I’ll let you go, my dearest.”

Whilst he untied you, you kept repeating ‘Thank you’s like a mantra, conjuring up a quick plan with the items around you. Once he finished, the obsessed male stepped back, but you stepped forward, pulling him into a hug.

Ten was surprised by the hug, to say the least, only to realise shortly that it was to put him at false ease. If he just ignored that realisation, he would’ve enjoyed your touch to the fullest.

You stepped back with a smile, before stepping towards the chair you had just been untied from. Hurriedly lifting the chair, you could hear the wooden chair breaking as you hit Ten’s body with the furniture.

Letting out a grunt, you began to run out of the room, trying to recall where the exit was. You didn’t even see Ten slowly stand up, but you could hear Ten calling for you, “You wanna play a game of hide and seek, brat? Fine then sweets, but know that I’ll be winning this time!”

Finding the door you entered from in front of you, your hands reached out for the knob… only to be pulled back by two pairs of hands, “Let go!” You were almost there! You were almost free!

“I’m sorry, but we can’t let you go.” It was Sungchan who spoke, and Shotaro was next to him. You recognised them as Chenle and Jisung’s close friends, they were in the same school level. You weren’t aware that they were close to Ten and his friends, though.

“No,” You started thrashing more in their grasp, trying to fight for your freedom, “Please, just let me go-”

“There you are, love!” Halting your actions, you instead became stiff and frozen. You lost his game that you never wanted to play.

“You can run,” Ten felt a smirk creep up his face, strolling over to you, “But you can’t hide.” If you asked him what he truly felt, he felt euphoric. He felt like the chase was a challenging game of cat and mouse that was going to inevitably lead to his victory; to you.

“What’s the point? Your new home is here, with me. I’ll give you everything you need.” Well, except for freedom to go out without permission or surveillance, but that was expected.

You gradually stopped struggling in Shotaro and Sungchan’s grasp, not bothered to put up a fight anymore. But you were curious if the two truly cared for their friends now revelling in freedom. Or so you hoped.

“If you two care about Chenle and Jisung,” You attempted to look them both in the eye, but they looked away at the mention of their friends. So they did care. “Then you’ll be glad to know they’re not dead, Ten freed them at my own freedom's expense.”

Sungchan shut his eyes, whereas Shotaro’s indifferent expression shifted into a guilty one.

“Let her go boys, I’ll take care of her.” Gladly, the pair let go of your arms and walked off, not wanting to face the source of their guilt for any longer.

“You know, your parents tried to keep you away from me.” The male in front of you huffed, “I told them that I would take you either way, and they wanted to just have more time with you.”

Your parents never betrayed you willingly. They were forced to, or Ten would have got to you sooner, even before the purge began. This thought lingered in your mind, bile threatening to rise up out of your throat as all the events from today and tonight sunk in. You didn’t struggle, after seeing your previous attempt at escaping was futile.

Cold, drained and exhausted eyes met warm, lovesick eyes. Well, moreso obsessive and possessive, but still filled with love for you. Where was the Ten Lee that was your friend, that you studied in the library with at times, complained about workloads and teachers about?

Ten was right. The true monsters are indeed humans, and that included him.

“You’re all mine,” He took your right hand and kissed it whilst ignoring your cries of protest, “And I’m all yours.”

In a bus were Chenle and Jisung, getting patched up by Taeil. They’d been found and picked up by Taeyong and his group just minutes ago.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Taeyong looked to the ceiling of the vehicle, not believing that people he knew were dead. Especially Mark and Donghyuck, who would hang out with their group from time to time.

Chenle winced whilst Taeil dabbed the antiseptic on a sensitive spot, but managed to still wave Taeyong off, “It’s fine, not your fault.”

Johnny, who regretted fighting with Mark as their last interaction ever, sat up from the seat he was laying in, “We’ll get back (Y/N). You know, I used to be childhood friends with Ten until he left. I didn’t think he’d turn out to become such a fucking psycho.”

“And Sicheng...” Yuta started off, still staring out the window, “Ever since he joined their friend group, I noticed he’s been a little... off, whenever I’d hang out with him recently, but I didn’t think he’d agree to do this type of shit. Neither did I expect Taro to do it.”

Jungwoo, who was in a similar boat as Yuta but with Sungchan instead of Sicheng or Shotaro, nodded in agreement as he took a drag from his cigarette.

“I don’t care if Ten wants her, she’s not anyone’s property. I refuse to let go and give up on a close friend.” Jisung hissed, eyes filled with a newfound sense of determination just like the others on this bus, “We’re getting her back and setting her free.”

#ten lee x reader #ten lee fanfic #nct ten x reader #ten imagines #ten scenarios #ten fanfic #ten oneshot #wayv ten x reader #wayv imagines #wayv scenarios #wayv x you #wayv x y/n #wayv x reader #wayv angst #wayv yandere #yandere ten #nct horror #yandere wayv #nct yandere #yandere nct #yandere kpop #kpop horror #nct angst #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct x reader #nct fanfic #nct x y/n

[hipboneregression]

tw: daily ed rant/vent

ehehe hit a minor gw

i am exactly 225.0 as of this morning. that means i'm 30lbs down since november! from here on out, it's easy to break down my GWs and think of them tangibly - 25lbs to 200, 25lbs after that to 175, 25lbs to 150 after that, and on and on. 25lbs is fucking nothing. it was the last 5lbs of this 30 that were giving me fucking issues, but i really blame that on (1) stress catching up to me and (2) the fucking birth control i was on. fuck that, not taking it anymore :)

we're going to vegas tonight with another couple and i am not going to restrict or calorie count because we're going to be drinking a shit ton and using drugs lol. then literally 3 days after we come back, i go into surgery and it's my birthday week.

that's all to say, i'm going to do my best to not engage in any behaviors and TRY to give myself a break until Monday, March 7. it's probably not best to be fasting and purging before and after surgery, you know? i'm trying to do harm reduction here to the extent that i can.

My next big GW is sub-200 and i'd really like to be there by the summer. that'll be manageable if I get back on track on March 7. i always feel like i'll gain a ton of weight during these "breaks" that i'm forced to take for whatever reason, and the breaks are always fucking terrifying, but then i either maintain, or surprisngly lose while they happen because i'm still engaging in behaviors lmao.

i hope you're all well. i won't post much while i'm in vegas. <3

[decadentpersonwagonmuffin-blog]

I made a grilled chicken salad to eat today I purged but not all of it I’m at work so I couldn’t be away very long bout to do a shit ton of sit ups tonight after I get off to burn it off I feel gross and regret it I just wanted to be able to work without feeling like shit but now i feel guilty

#notprojustusehashtags #i want to be skiny #tw ed content #anorekic #starvibg

[squeebs]

Winter Solstice Tarot Spread 12-21-2020

I want to share my yule reading as there is a very powerful energy surrounding today. This ended up being an eight card spread and I let the form come to me organically through meditation. I chose an arrow because I’m mostly Sagittarius  signs and I want this to be the year I shoot forward.

My questions are:

>Where have I been? IV The Emperor ~ This card reminds me of my grandpa, and home. The energy of this card makes me think of him regardless, but in this particular deck I’m using (The Gorgon’s Tarot) There’s a bald eagle perched atop his left hand and I legit have a bald eagle tattooed on my left collarbone for him. In his right hand is a sword with a snake wrapped around it, I was fascinated with them as a youngling. I even have one tattooed on my right arm. The patterns in this card remind me of a wallpaper my grandparents had in their bedroom too, it’s giving me chills. I think this card is calling to me so much because a lot of my heavier baggage in my past comes from complicated relationships with my father figures. But I won’t get into that here. The emperor has an energy that I lacked in my younger years and crave in my adult years, that’s what’s important to take from this.

>What am I doing? XIII Death ~ Ok spooky time to get Death in a present position! This is the card of necessary purging in order for regrowth. Much like our current frigid seasonal friend. There’s a lot going on under the surface, many things are still teeming with life and preparing to reemerge when the time is right. This is a very applicable card as I had a major life change and moved 4 hour hours away to rebuild my marriage and start a new tarot business. So, yeah, lot’s of transformation and change. But I’ve had a lot of affirmation and confirmation along with my decisions, I’m just trying to trust in the process. This card is also associated with self care. In order to nourish their bodies through the hard winter, many animals eat a crap ton of food and then go into hibernation. Now I’m not saying the cards are telling me to gorge myself then sleep for eighteen hours, but they certainly might be telling me to be mindful of my eating and get plenty of rest when the gray skies have me feeling blue.

>>What should I prune? XVI The Tower ~ I honestly feel that this is an affirmation telling me that the bad and misfortune (which I have been considering my karmic debt) is coming to an end and good things are afoot, mainly since this is in the prune position. Also, my deck features a woman springing from the ruins of the tower as the main centerpiece of the card, not the destruction of the tower itself.

>>What should I grow? Page of cups ~ Normally, this card means approaching life with curiosity and a childlike exploration of the world. But due to a previous spread I did, I think this means something else but I also won’t get into that here.

>Where am I going? X of Pentacles ~ Well I sure hope so. The ten of pentacles is my all-time life goal. It is a card of leaving a legacy in my wake. Being fruitful enough in life to provide for those proceeding me, my daughters, sons, my descendants. The suit of pentacles used to make me uncomfortable as it was a lot of hard work, but hard work pays off in the end, for everyone. That is what this card encompasses.

>>How do I align with my highest path?

>>>Card one: X of Wands ~ This card is one of success and the burden of responsibility that comes with it. This ties into the success of the ten of pentacles, but in a different sense. This card is a reminder that the work is never really finished in the grand scheme of things. We may finish projects, but maintenance is required. We might wrap up that business deal, but we still have to get the sales after. Success is grand and well worth the effort, but there is effort and I’m surely nowhere near the ten of wands with my plans just yet.

>>>Card two: 3 of Wands ~ I pulled this in an earlier spread as well! Where the ten of wands denotes completion and upkeep, the three of wands was that idea when it was being planned out schematically. The suit of wands is one of action and this is surely a card of such. Being able to take an idea and start to morph it into reality is a huge feat. It takes a lot of energy as well as strategy. In the card, there is a woman sitting on a beach, gazing out at passing boats. While she only has 3 sticks (wands) to work with, she is formulating how to get there too.

>Why? XVII The Star ~ AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH this is so cool. I can’t even express to you how much this has resonated with me tonight. Just have hope. Just have hope, guys. Shit might seem real rough, but with enough love and light to guide the way, we can find our way out of the darkest of places.

#tarot #tarotcommunity #yule #yule 2020 #winter #winter solstice #winter soltice 2020 #tarot spread #holy shit #this was so good #thanks if you read this #2020 #2021

[end-of-pizza]

WEIRD ANIME NIGHT

guys, I’m going to level with you. I am running out of weird anime’s I have watched. I want to do these guys every week I really do....and I have a stack of VHS tapes and DVD’s downstairs to dig through that MIGHT have some more gold in them, but it would be SUPER COOL of you if you would DM me some ideas or suggestions to look into in the coming weeks and months now I said I am RUNNING OUT, that doesnt mean I’m empty. Tonight I am going to go on a tangent, and talk about one anime you dudes have LIKELY seen already MOBILE FIGHTER G GUNDAM

You might say to yourself, hey Brian, that show isn’t THAT weird, gundam is a big big robot show, and that is just another cookie cutter big big robo show

BUT YOU ARE WRONG

DEAD WRONG

Mobile fighter g gundam was only the 9th gundam series ever made, and the series it follows Victory gundam is considered one of the darkest in gundams canon, where kill them all Tomino really showed that he earned that name, it wasn’t gifted to him. I mean the shows about a 12 year old who, in its final act fights a giant, moon sized ring full of psychics that try to reduce humanity to animal like stupidity so that they can rule the earth, and also like…..all of his friends die. All of them, most of them children. Victory gundam is dark as shit

G Gundam though? Naw, this show is like two clicks away from being a gundam skin over top of a king of braves show. I mean let me break it down like this. G gundam is about a buncha people, hired by their countries to represent them in a martial arts tournament , with giant robots that used to be used for war, but that war destroyed earth real bad, so instead they still destroy earth real bad with giant robots, but instead of war, its just a boxing match and they make it clear that this ish is bad for the earth like EVERY city is fucked, and whoever wins the tournament, their government gets to be dictators of the world and space for 4 years.

  and its played for laughs

I also want to mention for people who are passingly familiar with Gundam through things like wing or seed etc, and know that gundam has different time lines, THIS is the first alternate timeline, this is the first non UC timeline in the whole of gundam. Imagine if the last few shows were, a war drama about a 14 year old being drafted and getting ptsd, then a sequal where a child psychic also gets drafted then his parents die, then the girl he loves tries to kill him and dies, then a sequal to that where again, a ton of main characters die, then a sequal movie where two of the main characters of the entire show both die, then a show about a boy making a new friend, who turns out to be a soldier, and introducing them to his next door neighbor who turns out to be a soldier, then while trying to help his new friend, his neighbor murders him, ON CHRISTMAS, then he has to just go back to normal life because he kept all of this a secret to everyone.

AFTER THAT ALL WE GET THIS

I mean it took a show that for 20 years had been a dead ass serious war drama, and turned it into well......MMA with robots and dudes (and a few ladies) in latex cat suits using magic to destroy famous land marks

THE WIKI SAYS Unlike previous series in the Gundam franchise which are set in the "Universal Century" timeline, Mobile Fighter G Gundam takes place in an alternate "Future Century" universe.[1][2] Within this timeline, much of mankind has abandoned a ruined Earth to live in space colonies. The countries on Earth have corresponding colonies just outside the planet's atmosphere. Rather than fight wars for political and social dominance, the colonies agree to hold a "Gundam Fight" tournament every four years. Each country sends to Earth a representative piloting a highly-advanced, humanoid mobile fighter called a Gundam. The Gundams compete with one another in one-on-one battles, under a strict set of rules, until only one fighter remains; the nation represented by the winner earns the right to rule all of space for that period.[2] Each Gundam is controlled directly by the user within the cockpit using the "Mobile Trace System", a gesture recognition and feedback mechanism whereby the Gundam mimics the pilot's own body motion, combat skills, and weapon-wielding capabilities.[1]G Gundam opens at the start of the 13th Gundam Fight in Future Century year 60 and follows Neo Japan's Domon Kasshu, fighter of his nation's Shining Gundam and bearer of the coveted "King of Hearts" martial arts crest.[1] Aside from winning the tournament, Domon's mission is to track down his fugitive, older brother Kyoji, who allegedly stole the experimental Dark Gundam from Neo Japan's government, leaving their mother dead and their father (Dr. Raizo Kasshu) to be arrested and placed in a cryogenic state.[3]

Under orders from Major Ullube Ishikawa, Domon and his childhood friend and mechanic Rain Mikamura travel from country to country, challenging each one's Gundam while searching for clues to the whereabouts of Kyoji and the Dark Gundam.[3] Domon's initial matches with Neo America's Chibodee Crocket, Neo France's George DeSand, Neo China's Sai Sai Ci, and Neo Russia's Argo Gulskii end in draws, gaining mutual respect among the fighters.[1][2] As they encounter Gundam pilots who had come in contact with the Dark Gundam, Domon and Rain learn of its unique cellular properties to regenerate, multiply, and evolve by infecting organic matter and causing violent behavior in living things.[3] The duo then journey to Neo Tokyo, a city decimated by the Dark Gundam's army of mobile weapons. Domon reunites with his esteemed martial arts instructor Master Asia, who is also the champion of the last Gundam Fight, the former King of Hearts, and one-time leader of an elite group of Gundam fighters called the Shuffle Alliance. After Domon and Rain help the city's survivors defend their last outpost in Shinjuku, Master Asia reveals himself as a servant of the Dark Gundam, having also gained control over Chibodee, George, Sai Sai Ci, and Argo using Dark Gundam (DG) cells.[2][3] The four remaining members of the Shuffle Alliance intervene and vow to destroy their previous leader for his crimes. Ultimately, the Alliance members offer their lives in purging the DG cells from Domon's four comrades and bestow each of them with a Shuffle Alliance crest as their successors. Kyoji and the enormous Dark Gundam eventually appear from beneath the ground of Shinjuku, but shortly thereafter vanish alongside Master Asia. As the Shuffle Alliance trains in the Guiana Highlands for the Gundam Fight finals, Master Asia and the Dark Gundam reappear.[3] With the help of his friends and a new ally in Neo Germany's masked warrior Schwarz Bruder, Domon defeats the Dark Gundam. When the Shining Gundam becomes incapacitated during the battle, Domon desperately manages to activate a newly acquired God Gundam(AKA Burning Gundam outside Japan), escape Master Asia, and make his way to the finals set in Neo Hong Kong.[2][4]

The Gundam Fight finals are presided over by Wong Yunfat, Neo Hong Kong's prime minister and the current ruler of the space colonies and Earth. Wong chooses to have the qualifying nations battle in one-on-one and tag team preliminary matches to reach a battle royale on Lantau Island, where the tournament is to end with the winner facing the defending champion Master Asia.[2][4] Having gained possession of the Dark Gundam, Wong secretly plots to revive and control it as his trump card to inevitably maintain his own power over space. Domon and his companions make their way to the battle royale while several truths concerning the Dark Gundam are unveiled. Rain's father, Dr. Mikamura, eventually explains that the Dark Gundam (originally called the Ultimate Gundam) was constructed by Dr. Kasshu to rejuvenate the dying Earth. Jealous of his genius colleague, Dr. Mikamura had Neo Japan's officials attempt to confiscate Kasshu's creation. To prevent the military from using his father's invention for its own agenda, Kyoji fled with and crash landed the Gundam on Earth, where its computer malfunctioned, triggering its malevolent activity. Ullube subsequently had Dr. Kasshu arrested, framed Kyoji as a criminal, and used Domon and Rain as pawns in recovering the Gundam.[4] In a separate confession, Master Asia discloses to Domon that, having been distressed by the utter destruction wrought by the Gundam Fights, he planned to use the Dark Gundam to wipe out humanity and allow Earth to heal naturally.[2] The battle on Lantau Island culminates with Domon fatally besting Master Asia in a final confrontation, while Kyoji and Schwarz sacrifice themselves so that Domon can attack the Dark Gundam's cockpit and disable it once again.[4] Though the schemes of both Wong and Master Asia are foiled, Ullube quietly claims the Dark Gundam and transports it to Neo Japan's space colony for his own purpose. Having been corrupted by DG cells with ambitions of supreme power, Ullube kidnaps Rain and places her into the Dark Gundam's core to act as its energy source. The hulking monstrosity then merges with the colony and begins absorbing Earth itself.[2] As the entire world's Gundams unite to assault the Dark Gundam from the outside, the Shuffle Alliance breaks inside the colony and destroys Ullube. Finally, Domon professes his love for Rain and releases her from the core. Invoking the power of the King of Hearts, the couple vanquishes the Dark Gundam once and for all

I just rewatched it like a month ago, its real good, def go watch it

if you are the kind of person who was maybe put off by OG gundams TONE or wing gundams edgy-ness, give g gundam a watch its honestly a good anime, its about as shonen as a shonen can legally get. Also its spiritual successor, the Build series is really good too, really liked Build Fighters Try A LOT, and I guess like.....it might be canon to this reality? its weird. Gundams weird when it comes to canonisity, its sort of all canon kinda.

∀ ∀ ∀ ∀ ∀ ∀ ∀ ∀ ∀ ∀ ∀ ∀ ∀ ∀ ∀ ∀ ∀ ∀ ∀ ∀ ∀ ∀ ∀ ∀ ∀ ∀ ∀ ∀ ∀ ∀ ∀

Also the model kits for this show, and you knew I was going to bring up Gunpla at some point, well they come in two qualities

 AWESOME and brand new

 or shit and 20 years old

So if you collect these things like I do…..get both kinds of their kits

They’re good.

 Have a good one

~Hoover

#weird anime night #gundam #g gundam #not pizza

[queer-spirituality]

Not everyone knows this, but I’m an Ex-Mormon. I joined the church when I was a closeted person, drenched in denial and self-loathing. Once I got in the church, I realized there was shit tons of stuff the missionaries hid from me. They never told me that once you’re a member, it’s expected to go to super top secret temple ceremonies for dead family members. That did not sit right with me. I was creeped out by how everyone quotes the prophets but never, y’know, Jesus. I did not understand why I had to give up coffee and tea, but energy drinks and soda were perfectly okay. And I hated how I felt less-than for being single. And that was just the start. I had begun doing my research into the history of polygamy, racial tensions in the church and homophobia. It was all very disturbing.

I woke up one day and realized I was miserable. Every facet of my life was controlled by this organization. How I spoke, what I ate, who I was to marry, how I was supposed to have sex, how I spent my time in prayer, how often I prayed, how I dressed, what I did with my own body. And I did it all because I wanted to be happy, like they promised me I would. But I wasn’t. 

Quickly I realized I was living a lie, in an organization that I allowed define me for too long. I decided to take my power back. I came out as transgender, aromantic and asexual (three things that reaaaally don’t fly in the church). I stopped going to church. Of course, when I told the Sisters this I received some phone calls from people trying to convince me to return. And tonight I finally purged my FB of Mormons (who I do love dearly) because they started posting on my shit, trying to censor my opinions and language. 

I wanted to belong, but I did not. Sure, I fit in. I squeezed myself into the Molly Mormon box and fit nicely. But it was uncomfortable. I want to be somewhere where my identity is not only accepted, but celebrated. This is what inspired me to start this blog.

I fully, completely understand if you are queer and decide to remain in the church. I just could not do it. I tried going back and realized it was no different. Soon I’ll talk about how my decision to come out and transition really liberated me and empowers me daily. That would not have happened had I stayed in the church.

I now consider myself a progressive Christian. I go to the United Church of Christ, an affirming denomination. I am out to my family (who were never Mormon) and they accept who I am. I am fortunate. But some people feel ostracized in their families and faith communities because of their identity. I want to love queer people and make sure they know they are NOT sinners for being themselves, they are NOT BROKEN and GOD loves them just the way they are.

I do not compare my leaving the church to lifelong member’s exiting of the church. I only belonged for less than a year. I’ve known a life apart from the church that was easy to return to. But I think any Ex-Mormon is tougher than a US Marine.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask me. I’m always here to talk. Thanks for reading this if you made it this far. <3

#faithfully lgbt #ex-mormon #post mormon #brendan's thoughts

[kathyprior4200]

Hidden Hazbin Sins

NOT FOR KIDS! NO COPYRIGHT INTENDED.

For many of the residents in Hell, it was an average day of chaos, murder, sex, drugs, and drama. Poverty-stricken demons smuggled food from dumpsters while others snuck into darkened stores. More disturbingly, other demons even resorted to cannibalism on unlucky citizens who had been killed in gang fights, run over, or stabbed to death by Exterminator harpoons.

The Happy (Hazbin) Hotel seemed to be running fairly smoothly with the addition of the clean-freak cyclops demon Niffty and even the indifferent gambling alcoholic Husk. Charlie, the blond-haired demon princess, stood outside wearing a red bellhop uniform complete with gold buttons, gold threads hanging around the brim of her small red hat and a ruby apple necklace around her neck. Her face was white, eyes yellow, and red blushes were off to the sides of her face. She remembered a week ago when the hotel first opened, cutting a tied up red piece of ribbon with a large pair of scissors, the crowd clapping half-heartedly. Currently, she was holding the door for a line of demons waiting to get in.

“Welcome to the Happy Hotel!” said the princess cheerfully. Razzle and Dazzle were busy lifting up luggage and placing them on a rolling cart to go up into the elevator. Though many of the demons rolled their eyes and snarled at Charlie, she kept up her positive demeanor.

Inside, a banner hung over a front desk with several colorful balloons and streamers off to the sides.

“No more sin, share a big grin!” Charlie recited her motto. “Vaggie will check you in and get you situated at the front desk.”

She mentioned to her moth demon friend, who saw her and blushed with a small smile, blowing her a quick kiss. Vaggie turned to a light blue dragon in the front.

“I have a reservation for a room with a balcony,” the dragon said, his wings folded. He showed her his cell phone in his claw which showed the order he had made online.

Vaggie looked it over and nodded. “Two nights here, room 666, with a cost of…”

Charlie looked over at Vaggie. “They don’t have to pay any souls. This place is free for the first one hundred customers!”

“What?!” Vaggie exclaimed in disbelief. “Why didn’t you tell me that?”

“Because I just came up with it today,” she explained. “If we are to encourage demons to come here to get better, why not make it free for them?”

“Your Dad won’t be happy about that.”

“I know. But it’s my hotel, and I might as well leave a friendly impression.”

“Move it, bitch,” scoffed a green snake-like demon with a pink dress and dark green hair who shoved Charlie aside with her hand. Charlie’s eyes glowed red for a second, but she took a deep breath. Vaggie pointed her harpoon weapon at the snake lady and glared. Heeding her warning, the snake huffed, flipped back her straggly green hair and moved on to her room.

Charlie shrugged, as she continued to hold the door. “It’s a start, right?”

Vaggie sighed and continued with her next customer, a werewolf. “Room 66 is currently occupied. 63 is available if you’d like to stay on that floor.”

Dazzle flew into the room, lifted down one of many old fashioned blood-stained key and placed it on the desk.

Vaggie handed the key to the brown furry demon. “The bar is over down the hall to your left. Charlie’s Fun and Games event will start at 7:00pm in the dance room. Ring your room bell and Niffty will fetch you breakfast in the morning. If you have any questions, just ask me or Charlie.”

“I have a question,” said a familiar sounding voice as the werewolf left for his room. The white spider demon Angel Dust strutted up to the desk, with his usual white and pink striped outfit on and pink gloves on four of his hands.

“One second,” Vaggie said. She turned to him. “What, Angel?” Vaggie deadpanned.

“Do you know where the drug vending machine is here? I want some Angel Dust and I’m getting tired of those purple popsies to be honest.”

“What’s in a name!” someone commented from in the line.

Vaggie crossed her arms. “No drugs are allowed here. It’s problematic enough that alcohol is being served here. We don’t need any more of your ideas. I’m busy here!”

Angel continued, “What we also need is a stage with new poles for dancing on. Italian electro music, and a secret strip club in the basement! Man, that’d be the shit!”

A black dinosaur-like demon growled at Angel. “Go fuck yourself, slut.”

Angel just grinned widely. “Only if you watch me, hot stuff.”

“Get out!” Vaggie bellowed, pointing toward the door.

“Oh well,” Angel shrugged. “Time to make some moves on Husk. It’s so easy to warm up to him when he’s drunk…”

Angel happily scurried away while Vaggie face-palmed. “Someone kill me a second time,” she muttered out loud.

“Can I do it?” asked the snake demon, who peered out of her room.

“No!” Charlie and Vaggie yelled at the same time, startling the snake who ducked back into her room. Charlie and Vaggie laughed from across the room. Almost losing hold of the door, Charlie grabbed onto the handle again, smiling back at the visitors.

 Later on that evening, the bar was packed full of demons scattered around in every direction. A group of dragons were sitting together, enjoying flaming spirits of liquor that Husk had brought to them. A family of red imps were playing cards over by a booth. Only a group of doll demons seemed to enjoy the rainbow decorated karaoke section that Charlie had set up. They sang at the top of their lungs and danced in a circle.

“See? They’re getting it!” Charlie smiled, sitting next to Vaggie. Vaggie let out a small smile. “Well, I’m impressed, Charlie. Maybe your idea will be successful in the long run.”

Charlie brushed Vaggie’s long white hair from her light gray face, careful not to touch the pink X over her friend’s eye. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”

Angel Dust giggled under his breath nearby and began to do a slutty dance on a table.

“Anyone have a lampshade I could use?”

A random one hit him in the face. “Thanks, dick!” he called putting it over his head.

“Wow, he remembered my name,” smiled a blushing Dick, an orange-faced demon with an elongated forehead shaped like…

“Will you cut that out?” Husk hissed as he glanced at Angel shaking his butt as the demons laughed and jeered.

“You like that?” he asked, hearing Husk’s voice. “I figured you would, deep down.”

“Son of a crackhead,” Husk muttered.

“Heard that, cat in the hat! Sadly, it’s true, though.”

The two girlfriends relaxed as the demons chatted (and fought) among themselves. Husk drank more booze behind the counter in several gulps. Niffty scurried to dust off cobwebs, mop the floors, and carry any remaining luggage to the room or outside.

Charlie stared at the nearby stage, the microphone vacant.

“Say…has anyone seen Alastor?”

“Nope, not me,” replied Angel, still dancing with the lampshade on his head. “Then again, I can’t see much of anything.”

“Take that damn thing off!” said Vaggie. “It’s unprofessional!”

“Sorry, tots, can’t hear you over the sound of how sexy I am!” he replied.

“Not me,” Vaggie said.

“Nor me,” said Husk. “Thank Lucifer. That radio punk was getting on my last nerves. Glad I don’t have to hear any more dad jokes tonight.”

“But he always comes on Fridays and the weekend,” Charlie says. “And it’s a new moon on Earth, I think. He always comes up with new tricks to share with us during that time.”

“When’d you get into that stuff?” Husk asked.

“Human studies,” Charlie replied. “Oh what it could mean to be a human for the first time…”

“It’s a shithole if you ask me,” Husk replied. “Lost chances, war, depression, the whole nine yards.”

“Or life can be good,” said Vaggie, “Until, you get…assaulted by a bunch of masculine pigs.”

An old pig demon oinked at her in anger and slurped up a mud smoothie.

“Heh, no offence?”

“It’s alright, Vaggie,” said Charlie. “Perhaps when we go to Heaven, we’ll learn more about all kinds of people.”

“I can’t hear you,” Vaggie mentioned.

Charlie snapped her fingers and the noise in the bar dulled own to a fading hum. The spell would last for several minutes. For now, it was just Vaggie and Charlie talking in the crowded room, no one else noticing.

“You’re the daughter of the devil and a seducing being,” Vaggie pointed out. “You may not ever get redeemed.”

“But how do we know?” Charlie asked. “Think about it. My dad got sent down from Heaven for going to the dark side. There has to be a way for demons to rise up from Hell! There’s like two sides of a large coin.”

“You’re forgetting Earth and tons of other places,” Vaggie said. “Even if that would be the case, how good would we have to be to get sent to Heaven or even back to Earth?”

“Perhaps by showing more…humanity.” Charlie said, wistfully.

“Ugh, not this again.” Vaggie leaned closer and spoke in a low voice. “Look. I’m willing to be open minded about the possibility of Heaven existing. It’s something I learned about in my life, after all. But to think these demons have some connection to humans…”

Charlie cut her off, lowing her hands sideways slightly in a downward motion to make her point. “They not only used to be souls…they are still souls! Deep down, as long as they’re somewhat alive, they retain some amount of their human characteristics from their past lives!”

“Not fuckin’ buying it.”

“Vaggie, it only makes sense. I’ve seen it for myself when my family showed me the Purge. They briefly showed their human forms before they were killed. This proves that they aren’t true monsters. They need help. They need love, just like everyone else. Dad and Mom don’t want to believe it, but…I have a feeling they also know it to be true.”

Charlie continued, changing the topic into something more light-hearted. “Perhaps Heaven has animal-like bipedal creatures as well, but nicer and fluffier! Maybe with angel wings. Humans and animals are everywhere, within many angels and demons!”

Vaggie held on firmly to Charlie’s shoulders, and stared her straight in the eye, raising her voice slightly more toward a normal tone. “Charlie, listen to me. I, too, have…seen things. Earth, Heaven, Hell…they’re all different. From what I heard, angels belong in Heaven and demons belong in Hell. The evil humans come down here, already dead. Living humans belong on Earth. That’s just the way it works.”

Something in Vaggie’s eyes told Charlie that her friend wasn’t entirely convinced of her own spoken words.

“Swear on your afterlife…for your own safety and sanity, you will not tell anyone else about this.”

Charlie looked around, eyes wide. “Do you think…some demons will want to take advantage of me and…my position as heir?”

“Finally out of your childhood comfort zone,” Vaggie mentioned with a solemn nod. “Please, Charlie. I will do whatever I can to help you redeem these sinners. But, promise me, you will be smart and always watch your back. You can’t trust everyone.” Vaggie stared at her scarred chest and put a hand up to her eye. “I learned that lesson the hard way.”

Charlie’s soundproof spell had ended, and the noise of the bar came back in full force.

“Ya girls done?” Angel asked, white hair frazzled from dancing and wearing the lampshade.

“Yep,” said Charlie. “Anything you need?”

“Other than a whiff of coke and a thrill of a fight, I’m good.” He picked up a cherry from a drink and sucked on it.

“Time to go see Cherri Bomb. She’s making actual cherry bombs for our next turf attack! Catch you guys later!” He winked and swaggered out of the room.

“Why did you bring him here, again?” Vaggie asked with a sigh.

Charlie answered. “He was clean for two weeks, and now…well, I’m going to give him another chance. It’s the only thing to do.”

“Whatever you say,” Vaggie answered. She held on gently to Charlie’s hand and the princess squeezed back affectionately.

 “But seriously, though…where is Alastor?” Charlie asked, more to herself, looking back at the stage. “He was a big help to starting the hotel and it was fun dancing with him.”

“I swear I’ll gut him if he ever makes a move on you again,” Vaggie seethed. “Let’s forget about that cocky bastard and enjoy ourselves.”

“Sounds like a good plan to me,” Charlie smiled. “But I have faith that he’ll change for the better. You’ll see.”

  The red neon Pentagram symbol in the sky was the only thing that lit up the time that was considered night time. Though the sky was constantly red, the demons still kept track of time in their afterlives, despite the fact that such a concept may not exist outside of Earth. The one thing that died harder than any sinner was old human habits.

Two small imp-like demons by the names of Tee and Vee wondered around in the shadows, Tee holding a small black cell phone. Tee was short, fat and dark purple in color, while Vee was thin and red. Both had horns, clawed feet and hands as well as small pointed tails. Both were wearing black suits with blue Wi-Fi logos on them. They were mini mercenaries and spies hired by none other than Vox, the TV demon. On this night, they were sent on another one of their missions.

They spoke in New York accents or perhaps Australian accents. It was hard to tell because they talked so fast.

“Another night, another dollar,” Tee said. He reached for a small arrow and threw it at an unsuspecting ogre. The beast roared as the arrow exploded against his foot. The ogre fell to the ground and Tee jumped up toward his face. In one swift motion, mid jump, he got out a spear from his utility belt and stabbed it right though the ogre’s large yellow right eye. Vee stepped in to finish the job, finally ending the monster’s agonized yells.

The duo had their gruesome eye kabab snack on a spear as they walked along.

“Need at least 66 kills tonight,” said Tee. “That should be doable.”

“But remember what Vox really wants,” Vee reminded him. “A chance to overthrow his rival overlords. Just think, we’ll be internet stars after we help Vox conjure Hell!”

Tee elbowed him sharply. “He will get all the credit, jackass, not us. We’re just doing this ‘cause we have no choice.”

“Oh, don’t be so glum, bum,” Vee said. “Though yours is quite big.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“You heard me. Anyway, we’ll still be recognized in some form. Perhaps he’ll be especially pleased with us and beckon us over to his bedroom…”

Tee shook his head, clenching his purple fists. “All Vox does is take selfies with Velvet and talk dirty to Valentino on the phone. He gets the good life, while we’re out here doing his dirty work.”

“Makes it easier on him,” Vee said. “He’s busy making plans, after all. You know about the New World Order? Project Mech Tech? Several secret plans of his involving keeping everyone glued to their screens. Brainwashing, propaganda, convincing ads. It’s already just as powerful as it is in the human world. ��Xept down here, Vox can bend others to his will.”

“Like…us?”

“Those who are either sheep or foolhardy enough to stand up to him.”

“But they’re demons, not sheep.”

“Tee, you retarded, ass!” He punched his college in the face and the two demons rolled down the street in a snowball spiraling brawl.

They yelled and grabbed onto each other’s tails, biting and screeching insults.

“Tee, pee!”

“Bum, scum!”

“Gas ass!”

“Slut, mutt!”

Nearby, a smoking female hellhound barked in disapproval.

“Butt…what?”

Vee stopped and stared straight ahead.

“Coward, what’s your pro…” Tee began, before noticing the direction the orange demon was looking toward.

“…blem?”

They stood up and saw a long black alleyway in front of them. The ground was littered with broken glass, cigarette butts, and the occasional skull here and there. Graffiti was spray-painted on the brick walls in various colors of red, blue, yellow, and green. They were mostly expletive words, nude women, and crying demon stick figures surrounded by flames. Further up above, someone had spray painted a rainbow with sun rays coming out from it. A foul scent of garbage and rotten flesh permeated the space.

Vee peered into the darkness and heard the faint sound of footsteps and humming. A distinct feel of…electricity? ... hiding among the shadows.

 Tee shuddered, holding up his clawed hands. “No, no, no, no, I ain’t goin’ in there.”  

“I sense a powerful presence,” Vee stated. “If we don’t take a risk, who will? Besides, if we don’t show up with some special report this time, Vox will have our heads.”

“He…wouldn’t…right?”

Vee grabbed onto Tee’s plump arm. “Just come on!”

“Okay…whoa, slow down,” he called as he was dragged along.

They slowed their pace as they reached the cracked dead end. The path turned off to the left, ending in another wider dead end further away. The walls were on either side of both paths with no windows or doors. Well…save for an old wooden door that was behind a pair of old curtains made from circus tent flaps.

A silhouette of a demon stood in front of the door, drawing a pentagram symbol in the air. A little golden keyhole appeared to the right and a matching old-fashioned key was pulled out from a pocket. The key went in and the door opened with a slow creek.

“Let’s go,” Vee whispered. They followed the figure not too far behind from the door.

They continued walking, occasionally glancing up at the red sky above them. The eerie silence was soon replaced with humming from the demon in front of them. It sounded distinctly male and appeared to be a jolly tune. Vee couldn’t quite name the song the man was singing, but it made him feel strangely at ease. It reminded him of those songs he heard at the circus or at musicals he attended with his parents. Not that it mattered now, since his parents were dead due to the so called “angels.” Tee on the other hand, was quivering, his legs itching to race right out of there.

“Come on, man,” Tee whispered. “Let’s kill this demon and leave.”

Vee let out a silent gasp and tapped Tee on the shoulder. “Look.”

They both stopped as the figure’s footsteps ceased further ahead.

For a moment, all was dark and quiet.

A snap of fingers was heard and five white candles were lit up at the same time. They were at the end of the alleyway, this time surrounded by circular concrete walls. The man was standing in the center of a crimson pentagram surrounded by a red circle that was drawn on the ground, taking up most of the space. The white candles glowed with yellow light at the ends of the five points.

“Whoa, is that who I think it is?” whispered Tee, so low that he could barely be heard. He held up his phone and started to record.

 The figure was revealed in the candlelight: a slender man wearing a tattered pinstriped red dress coat, trailing along slightly behind him. Dark shoes with red deer hoof-prints on the bottom soles. Red and black fur upon his head with large furry deer-like ears with black tips. Small dark antlers sticking out from between his ears. Thin neck and slander arms and legs. A vintage microphone staff stood in his right hand.

“Yes,” Vee said in a hushed tone. “The Radio Demon.”

Alastor walked over to a large deer skull stained with blood, antlers still intact. The trophy was attached to the wall via an old wooden plaque. He walked over and slowly knocked on the bone forehead seven times. It was a “shave and a haircut” sounding knock.

The Radio Demon stepped back as the skull’s slanted eyes glowed red. A scroll dropped out from its mouth but with a wave of his hand, it vanished. A spiral symbol in the center of the pentagram lit up: a universal symbol for a portal. The demon hummed some more.

With Tee still recording, Vee excitedly reached for his phone. He had to alert Vox. At last, the duo would be getting their big break…and a hefty sum of souls for their night’s work.

He began to rapidly text, his phone set to silent, the brightness of the screen turned as low as possible:

Vee: “Lord Vox, it’s V, T of 19:29. Radio Demon’s hideout found. Located at west end of…”

“A-CHOO!”

Tee sneezed out loud into his arm, phone in his other hand. The Radio Demon’s ears twitched at the noise. The humming stopped. The candles went out.

Tee and Vee rammed their backs against the nearest wall, not daring to move or even breathe. They heard the shuffling of feet, and the subtle sound of the microphone staff moving slightly side to side.

For an entire minute, nobody made a sound. Vee turned to Tee and both of them moved their eyes toward the other direction. Vee held up three fingers then mimicked tiptoeing side-ways. Getting the message, Tee followed Vee, shuffling three quiet steps to the right. After ten seconds, they moved again. Tee still recorded with a shaky hand in the dark, while Vee was careful not to drop his phone.

Vee pointed toward the exit and Tee nodded. Vee began to tip-toe from the wall, inch by inch making his way toward the open wooden door.

A slow creaking sound made then briefly freeze. For some reason, the door wasn’t moving.

A chilling sensation crept to the backs of the demon’s necks. Both of them turned back to look through the darkness.

 But the only lights they saw in the distance were the glowing red radio dials in the Radio Demon’s two eyes. The creaking sound was, in fact, the demon’s head slowly turning backward to stare right at the terrified faces of Tee and Vee.

SLAM!

The wooden door whammed shut, causing Tee and Vee to jump and yelp.

The world turned into a psychedelic mess of vibrant colors. Reds, blues, and greens morphed together in the sky and along the walls. Shadows of deer heads dripping blood danced along a red-lit wall like shadow puppets.

“Open the door!” Vee cried, punching against the wood, which was now colored a strange yellow.

“There’s no handle!” Tee replied, kicking at it in vain.

“Ack! I’m blue!” said Vee, staring at his light blue body in the strange light.

“I think you’re seeing red!” Tee replied, failing to notice his fat crimson body.

Vee grabbed daggers and bomb arrows and threw them rapidly in front of him. The Radio Demon dodged them all and merged into the shadowy ground.

“He’s…gone?” Tee asked, looking through his phone camera.

Vee held on tight his phone and glanced back at the texts, finger hovering over the “send” button.

The red dial-eyes emerged right in front of their faces, rows of sharp yellow teeth appearing below. Though the sudden loud radio static that filled their ears, Tee and Vee screamed. A voodoo spirit shaped like a black lizard with white eyes snatched the phone from Vee’s hand, dropping it by Alastor’s left foot before scurrying off. He brought down his pointed shoe and crushed the device to pieces, sparks flying, screen cracked. The remainder of the pieces burst into flames and vanished.

Before Vee could blink, two black tentacles sprouted rapidly from holes in the ground and latched themselves onto the demon’s arms, pinning them back. He struggled to escape, but they were wrapped too tightly.

Tee was running as fast as his little legs could carry him, the camera phone shaking with every step. He put the phone in his pocket, ran up to the wall, jumped, and grabbed onto a small branch sticking out from a hole in the worn down concrete. Knowing the branch could break at any moment, he frantically searched around for another handhold.

A-ha!

Up off slightly to the right, was a crack large enough for him to dig his claws into. Tee took a deep breath, preparing himself. If he could push off with his legs, swing toward the crack, get ready to let go…

The branch snapped off as he was forcibly brought down with a hard tug coming from near his legs. He phone fell out of his pocket, landing sideways on the ground. The camera showed two more black tentacles wrapping around Tee’s stubby legs, dragging him toward Alastor as he screamed. Even digging into the ground with his claws did no good.

Another tentacle gently lifted up the phone and brought it back as well.

Alastor cocked his head to the side, his mouth in an ever-present smile. Vee was lifted up to Alastor’s level and held close to the wall.

Vee laughed nervously. “Oh, hey, Alastor. Heh heh. Great seeing you this f-fine night. I-I wasn’t gonna do anything, I swear.”

The reply was a dark chuckle mixed with static.

Vee felt Alastor’s four-fingered hands grip his head.

“I…I won’t say anything! Way too young to die again. Please…”

Vee’s head crashed against the wall with a loud thud. He let out a high pitched scream.

“Owww! No! Tee, get outta…AUUUGH!”

Vee gagged as his skull cracked against the concrete. Bile filled the demon’s mouth and dark red stained the wall. He gasped for air, black spots across his vision. After his head was slammed against the wall a third time, Vee’s eyes rolled back and his thin body limped downward, relaxed.  Shards of skull and bits of brain spilled to the ground. Alastor reached down toward the utility belt, and pulled out a dagger. He severed the demon’s head, clean off. The lifeless head fell to the ground, rolling until stopping near a restrained Tee.

Tee reeled back as far as he could, yelling through a tendril that was covering his mouth. Alastor smiled down at him, red dials moving, antlers expanding from his head. He held out his palm and flames appeared along with faint symbols hovering around them.

For several minutes, all Tee knew was a searing hot pain consuming his body, the smell of smoke, and the reeking smell of burning flesh around them. He inhaled the smoke and heard the radio static buzzing in his ears. All Tee could do was close his eyes and wait out the agony. Hoping that the heat and noise would soon…

Fade away…

Slipping into…black…

…constant…

…peace.

 With that, the Radio Demon tossed the phone into the flames, the camera and screen revealing his demonic face before the device exploded into electric sparks.

 The colors returned to normal and the flames went out. The only sound was the sound of static, slowly fading back into the vintage microphone. His eyes returned to their normal full red color and his antlers shrunk until they were small sticks on his head once again.

   He snapped his fingers and the white candles lit up again. The skull’s eyes glowed red.

Clearing his throat, Alastor spoke the password in the Creole language:

“Ou pa janm konplètman abiye

San yon souri!”

(You’re never fully dressed without a smile)

  The eyes glowed green and the ground below him vanished. Flames rose from the circle surrounding the pentagram. The inner circle was now a portal to a “basement” of Hell.

Several shadowy spirits rushed out of the hole, ecstatic to be free and to roam wild. Though the ground had disappeared below him, he stood perfectly still where he was.

More tendrils rose from the ground and wove together to form stairs starting at the top near Alastor’s feet. He walked merrily down as the portal slowly closed.

He reached the bottom of the stairs and made his way forward.

“My cozy lair, how much I’ve missed you.”

The lair was a sort of mashup between a haunted house and a middle class home from the early 1920’s.

Black walls stood on either side, blending in so well, it looked like the black ether outside. Red metal columns lined the sides and supporting the high black ceiling above. The black floor stopped at an area and wooden floorboards filled the rest of the ground. It gave the appearance of a floor torn up by an earthquake on the edge.

The first room was the living room. An elegant fireplace contained red flames that were constantly burning. A black leather couch faced a red wall that was decorated with various deer head trophies of many sizes. Some were stuffed versions of real brown deer. Others were the rotten partially furry heads of deer monsters from Hell. A fair amount were deer skulls with arching antlers. A resting rifle was displayed on the top of the fireplace, the same one he used as a human long ago. A red rug lay below the couch and took up much of the living room. The walls had borders with antler designs all in a row.

 Attached to the living room was the kitchen. The wood floor met black and white checkered tile, a green line separating the different kinds. There was a high wooden countertop with a couple of bar stools facing the living room. Several appliances included an old fashioned stove, wooden cabinets, a metal sink and a mustard yellow fridge with an icebox.

Alastor opened the fridge door and gasped out loud.

“Oh my Satan!”

Among the eggs, food, and drinks was a severed purple demon head, with one eye missing.

He reached in with his hand…and pulled out an empty cartoon.

“Curses, I’m out of milk!” he exclaimed. “How am I supposed to have cereal tomorrow?”

He shut the door and sighed. “Oh well. I can always have a snack, instead.”

 There were fans in every room (no air conditioning in Hell). To the left of the kitchen, a darkened path led to the bathroom and two bedrooms. There was also an extra room where Alastor kept all his radio equipment ready: a small microphone, headphones, a control panel of buttons, and even a sign that would lit up and read “on the air” in bold letters.

The bathroom consisted of a toilet, and a vanity with a mirror and a sink with two separate faucets for hot and cold water. Taking up much of the space was a black clawed bathtub in the shape of a cauldron. Alastor turned one of the knobs and a stream of dark red blood jetted out of the large faucet. He turned another knob and streams of red liquid sprayed out from the dish-sized shower head overhead. He tightened the knobs and the blood ceased flowing.

“Good, it still works,” Alastor said, relieved.

He made his way past the guest bedroom to his own room.

A twin-size bed had red satin sheets and a quilt made of soft deer fur neatly folded on the top of the bed toward the edge. The two pillows were neatly fluffed up and propped against the wooden headboard.

Closer to the doorway stood an old fashioned small screen TV with two large antennae jutting out from the top. It was light tan in color, complete with knobs on the front and to the sides. When he pushed the power button on the remote, a black and white show slowly appeared on screen. Unlike many old TV’s and remotes, Alastor had upgraded his with magic, allowing him to go to multiple channels. He watched some picture shows for a while on his bed, then turned the TV off.

He peered out a window, watching the outside world…or lack thereof.

This was a void world, a dimension where the Loas and shadow spirits resided and where the black tentacles originated…from mythical monsters in dark pits. Alastor’s lair hovered in place among the blackness. The demon grinned as he spotted rogue demons being chased, and sometimes mauled on by voodoo shadow creatures. A wrecked blaster from Sir Pentious’ blimp floated in the space. Here was were all the items and victims went when Alastor pulled them into the parallel place. Sometimes Alastor would send unlucky individuals here for entertainment and substance for the Loas. In return, they allowed him easy control of his powers. (Sure he was powerful enough already on his own, but even he knew that dark magic was dangerous for everyone.)

 Alastor stepped down and opened his closet doors, revealing an array of suits, pants and shoes, mostly in dark reds and blacks.

 But nestled behind the line of clothing was something extra peculiar.

 In a large rosewood cabinet was a collection of hand-crafted Voodoo dolls.

 Large ones made of cloth and straw with round button eyes and stitched mouths. Miniature ones made of wood. Several of them had pins with rounded ends stuck in various places.

 But the ones on the widest middle shelf were the most noticeable. They were small dolls made in the likeness of Charlie, Vaggie, Angel Dust, Niffty, Husk, and even an Alastor one. All the heads seemed to be bigger than the bodies.

How ironic that hands who had performed countless killings, were also so gentle and precise when it came to voodoo doll making.

“I’ll start with mine, as usual,” he said. He picked up the figure representing himself, complete with tuffs of his own red hair on its head, red clothing made of cloth over the body and red buttons for the eyes. The arms and legs were black stitched material, no designs on them. Branded on the back of the doll was a voodoo symbol of protection, ensuring that no one else could use the doll against him.

“At least I can always count on myself.”

Grinning, he put the doll back onto the miniature stage. He examined the Husk one sitting by the crafted bar.

“You really are a grumpy cat,” Alastor mentioned. “But, I’ll admit, you were still fun to make.”

The doll had a white face with black fluffy ends, red eyebrows, black buttons for eyes and a red bowtie. He had a slight frown on his face. The ears were made of cotton balls and a black hat sat on his head. Red wings had been sewn onto the back.

“Don’t get into too much trouble. I want you to be the puurfect person for that Hazbin Hotel.” He laughed and paced him back at the cardboard bar.

“Cute little darling Niffty,” he continued, examining the miniature doll with bright magenta hair and an attached fake yellow eyeball. The white shirt and pink skirt were there as well (though Alastor had left out the poodle design on the skirt).

“Keep being handy and we’ll get along dandy,” he said in a sing song voice before putting her back beside the cardboard chimney.

 “Oh Angel Dust,” he said with a roll of his eyes. He picked up the white doll, which had a small version of the white and pink outfit that Angel wore. He had a black bowtie, a head a little bit too football shaped, stitched smiling mouth and blue eye buttons.

“You get on my nerves, even in the process of making you,” he said. “I can’t even tell what those pink dots under your eyes are for. And your extra arms…they get all tangled everywhere. Well, at least you’re entertaining much of the time. You’ll have your purpose…and not of any sexual kind, good sir.”

He placed the Angel Dust doll on a web made of black string.

“Hello, naggy Vaggie,” Alastor commented as he observed the gray doll with long white string hair and a pink bow on the top. The white tank-top with the leggings were fastened onto the doll. One button was yellow while the other spot was painted with a pink x.

“Charlie’s best friend, yet different as night and day. No one likes a pessimist around, even in Hell. You got used to Hell, you can get used to anything. Even if it’s something unexpected in the future, perhaps?”

He placed her in her spot by a small paper lantern.

“Your pride is conssstricting isn’t it, Sir Pentious?”

He glanced up at a Sir Pentious doll wrapped up in black string upside down.

“You killjoys will fall again in the trench,” Alastor joked as he looked at a Katie Killjoy and Tom Trench doll stuffed into a hole in the wood.

“Cherri, you’re the bomb,” added Alastor to a doll with strawberry pink string hair and drawings of cherries on her clothes and fake eye. “Just try to control any explosive tempers you may have.”

 Finally, up on another shelf, he came to his favorite group of people: Charlie, Rosie, Mimzy, and of course, his dear mother. (Made with deer characteristics like his). The Charlie doll had blond strings for hair, and her face was painted white with the red blushes. From the black bowtie to the white shirt, leggings and shoes, this figure was almost like the real thing. Another Alastor figure was placed in the middle of the three women. Off to the side, a black deer figure representing his father had pins sticking through his chest, head, and crotch.

“Charlie, my charming demon belle, how will you fare in running your hotel?”

Charlie was placed in front of his figure.

“Darling Mimzy, lover of jazz, who are you behind the glamor and pizazz?”

The white-haired, pink-eyed Mimzy figure was to his left.

“A rose by any name is still a rose. We shall see how our collaboration goes.”

The tall Rosie figure with black eyes, and a pink hat and dress was off to the right.

And right behind the Alastor figure was the doll that resembled his mother.

Version one resembled her human form: light brown skin, thick hair, wearing a beautiful dress and holding a bowl of jambalaya in her hands. The second version was her with Alastor’s grayish skin, red hair, red eyes, and antlers, wearing a black dress with skulls and symbols embroidered on it.

“Ma mere…” (my mom)…

“Tu me manques beaucoup.” (I miss you very much.)

His mother’s words came back to him: “Al, my darling, always remember to smile. Keep your head up, leave any doubts and weakness behind.”

Still wearing his grin, he wiped away a stray tear of sadness.

“You’re right mom. I can’t feel insecure now. You sinned in your life…just so you could see me again…still can’t believe it. I won’t let you done and I won’t let myself down…”

He opened up a final section of the cabinet, this one revealing the dolls dressed like overlords. Vox with a pin through his TV head, Valentino with two pins through his straw chest, Velvet restrained in velvet cloth. Most noticeable of all was a cardboard throne standing up straight, but with a visible tear down the center. Lucifer and Lilith wearing white, sitting on the ground covered in necklace chains. A paper apple staff with the apple part detached and the long black part torn in half.

Alastor grinned at a third doll of him positioned on a throne made of antlers and bone.

“…Especially when I have grand plans set in motion. Hahahahahaha!”

#hazbin hotel #alastor #angel dust #vaggie #charlie #husk #niffty

[bxair]

9.24.20

After a long week of birthday celebrations and over indulging on alcohol and food I am trying to get back on my bullshit. I feel pure shit, my cw is 124.6 and I got ill earlier this week so every time I eat I start to feel ill and nauseous, but my family wanted to make pizzas tonight so I caved and had a slice (plus tons of cheese and tomato) because margherita pizza is my favorite and I didn’t want to let them down ;’( but I already feel so full and gross because of it. I wish I could have a normal relationship with food but I don’t ever see that happening. even when I go through my “normal” periods of eating they’re still filled with over indulgence and late night binges on whatever I can get my hands on. I just turned 21 and if you told little 13 year old me that I would still be battling with this stupid disorder and anxiety/depression I would have hoped that you were lying. This disorder has ruined my life. All I day long my mind is consumed with what foods I wish I could be eating and what I will/won’t eat instead. It consumes me. My relationship with food is unhealthy and I don’t think this will ever change. It affects my relationships, social life, education, career and everything in between. I genuinely do not understand how people can just stop eating once they feel full and don’t feel guilty after each bite. I feel like every time I eat I blackout and I don’t process anything until the damage is done. I am so pathetic that I can’t even make myself purge so I have to sit there and experience the gross fullness and discomfort from my actions. Whether I eat one saltine cracker or a pint of ice cream I feel the same guilt and shame with each bite. I just want to be happy again for those around me. My irritable mood surrounding food affects my family and friends as well. This is a disease. 

#sorry i had to get this off my mind considering i can't tell anyone irl about it :/ #eating disorder #eating disorder things #disordered eating #tw eating stuff #tw ed #ed things #ednos #ana #binge eating #mia #just ed things #eating