#but i just gotta take my people and go

[adhbabey]

i really have to stop worrying about what other people think of me. you are bothered by me, not the other way around.

#babey posts #ocd #actually ocd #its hard to want to be loved by everyone #but i just gotta take my people and go #it hurts. it does #but hey. i live my truth why dont you live yours instead of focusing on mine #im out here creating a space for people not gatekeeping or putting people into arbitrary categories

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Does

Does Barnaby

Does Barnaby tell the others to get off his lawn when he's angry

psh, who do you think he is, an old man? he'd Bark, like any lively young dog

#serves them right for (playfully) arguing right outside of his house smh #hes got sensitive ears yall... probably... i wouldnt know... #i bet ya could hear that woof everywhere in the neighborhood #and feel it. its gotta be deep as hell. bass boosted boof #legend has it that a Single Can fell in howdy's store #scribble salad #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #many thoughts about barnaby and barking #id imagine that if asked if he can bark hed be like 'yeah but its a waste of effort / who has the time for That' #i doubt he ever really does it... #cause that would take effort and really when would he be in the mood to be able to do it #its like. i dont get how some people can just let out a real good yell/scream on command #if im not angry enough i Physically Cannot raise my voice in that way. just dont have it in me #and id also think that barnaby has a thick skin. takes a lot to make him That Peeved yk yk #but when he does bark. oof. thats gotta be the loudest shit ever #everyone runs out of their homes like 'what happened??? is there a thunderstorm??? did a fuckin Bomb go off??' #meanwhile barnaby is slamming his door behind him and frank & julie are speedwalking away from his house with ringing ears #thoughts thoughts thoughts Musings

[stairset]

I do feel like the way Kyoshi was written in the Avatar reboot was lowkey influenced by the fandom's perception of her. Cause like in the original show she's really just portrayed as a pragmatist who's willing to kill if necessary. Like Aang is conflicted about killing the Fire Lord and she's like "well if I were in your position I'd do it but that's just me. Good luck." And then people started making memes where she's like a murderous psychopath who thinks extreme violence is always the solution. And it was funny at first cause it was just exaggerating for comedy but now everyone thinks she was actually like that in the show when she really wasn't. And then in the remake her introductory scene is her angrily yelling at this 12 year old that he needs to stop being a little pussy and be a ruthless warrior or whatever and the only explanation I can think of is that someone in the writer's room maybe looked at a few too many of those memes.

#she had an awesome fight scene though so there's that #disclaimer i own both the kyoshi books but haven't actually read them yet #so this is just going off how she was written in the original show #i'm working my way through all my books that i haven't read yet so i'll get to the avatar novels soon #but i gotta get through a couple more star wars books first lol #but yeah you know those spider-verse memes #where they take the scene where jefferson says ''spider-man why did you create that guy'' #and they replace it with some funny dark shit like ''spider-man kill him and his family'' or ''spider-man fuck this guy's ass'' #that's basically what people seem to think kyoshi is like #avatar the last airbender #avatar kyoshi #shut up tristan

[mintaikcorpse]

Me reading a fic where the person had an identidy realization that they were in he aroace spectrum and now they were figuring themselves out(I finally found something that understood me and a romance I could relate to after all these years)

#love loses! you're on the aroace spectrum and you dont fucking know what you are but you're definitely on the spectrum #but it's so hard to explain bcuz how do youve never had a real crush on someone but also have had platonic feelings for someone #and dont want to do the romance thing but also still want to have a queer platonic relationship and do romance things? #YOU DONT #IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE TO ME BUT I JUST KNOW #ESPECIALLY BECAUSE I CANT JUST GET CRUSHES ON PEOPLE IT TAKES YEARS I'VE ONLY HAD 1 CRUSH THROUGHOUT MY LIFE #AND I JUST WANTWD TO BE FRIENDS WITH HIM #I thought that was just me but the author was projecting and explained perfectly what i was going through #and ik i say “I cried” a lot when talking about something but i did actually cry #had to put my phone down bcuz it felt so nice to be understood #idk just venting and rambling lol #aroace #ace spectrum #gotta keep a journal on this bcuz i want to explain to people but it's so hard for even me to grasp #and i feel like they won't believe me anyways bcuz ive tried to himt st it but i just get weird looks #its annoying but it is what it is #aromantic #asexual #lgbt #queer #talking #rambling

[sprucewoodmpreg]

not to get really close to discourse-posting at 10 in the morning but it is a bit crazy to me how stressed out people on here get abt CCs coming onto tumblr and finding the community like. unpalatable or something. instead of treating fandom like a group of people just making shit that they can pass around with each other, it's turned into this weird almost-art gallery kind of situation, where 16-year-olds with bpd and unmedicated people in their 20s are responsible for showing off just how Beautiful and Wonderful our collective creations are 😭 like can we be real. there's a hermitcraft menstruation sub-fandom on here. this shit was never gonna be safe for CCs

#unless one of them is secretly an avid fan of menstruation headcanons. in which case 👍 nice #i just woke up so if this post sucks bad then just take me out back and shoot me #i just giggle sometimes wheni see people freak out abt like. ''FUCK we gotta tag our shit so CCs cant see it. but what if they still do😧'' #they can just. not go on here then. nobody is forcing them to look at any of it 😭 #ok as im typing this im losing interest because i could always log off and go buy myself lunch #but i'll post it anyways in honor of my 2021 self #discourse

[squuote]

relistening to the figley ending for the first time in forever at work (the wait was mainly because i had been meaning to replay it myself but never made time to do so) and ive only just realized the string of instances where the game uses memories as a form of escapism. and specifically thinking more on how that plays into its concept of choice. escapism in the form of remembering despite the parable essentially being a domain that is constantly divisive in what occurs within it. there's just something about the way that things simultaneously happen but also do not happen at all. because everything restarts again to its beginning before any choice has been made. and yet, memories are used as a device for the narrator to reminisce and bond over with stanley/us (the demo ending, the memory zone, and the figley ending specifically).

It is additionally interesting to note the memories the narrator recalls that were never present in any other aspect of the game. The essential false memories (the apple room in the figley ending, the various memories shown in the demo ending). But with this thinking, that things have and have not occurred simultaneously, it makes the memories we know to not happen be questionable in nature. Specifically in that there isn't a way to prove they didn’t happen outside of it being something we/stanley did not personally go through or see. But if memories are divisive in nature, in the way we recall things differently, there isn’t a way to call it false or fake. Not when the parable is already a domain built on restarting. Basically, it seems to be a notion to inform us that things can happen in the parable that we do not know have happened.

sorry, i'm not really going anywhere with this, i just think it is interesting in how memories are utilized. a preface for its setting, a mode of bonding, and seemingly its own tiny aspect that probably has no deeper meaning at all. On a different note, it is also very heartwarming hearing the narrator talk about stanley in such a heartfelt way and the way the figley ending itself ends with the way the game begins. the end is never the end and whatnot.

#the stanley parable #tspud #maintagging for once since it’s been a while #and also I’m curious if it’s something other people have noticed #crow thoughts #a need a better tag for these analyzing rambles #but yeah just something I thought was interesting going through this ending again #I rlly gotta just replay the game in its entirety soon. but listening to the audio works good too #I was going to add screenshots for this but I’m on my lunch and that would take too much extra time lol

[prosebushpatch]

Okay so I recently, finally, watched Wish and I have some thoughts. Overall, not as bad as everyone makes it out to be, but still has a lot of fundamental story problems and I've got to get them off of my chest. I'll mostly be focused on Magnifico because I think his motivations and arc largely represent the problem with the overall theme.

Okay so my biggest problem with Magnifico is his motivation. His tragic backstory. How on earth does he go from losing his whole family to thinking, the only way he can prevent that from happening again is to grant wishes? The logic doesn't track. It almost makes sense in his creating a kingdom where he protects everyone and "doesn't even charge rent," but it does not make sense with his wish granting. Having a great need to be control to make sure he doesn't lose anyone ever again can be a compelling motivation for a villain, where we see lines crossed that don't justify the intent, but in the movie, he's too self-absorbed to seem to have any actual care for the people of Rosas.

I think if the motivation was changed to something like Magnifico had once been a bright-eyed, enthusiastic wish granter who blindly believed all wishes were good but learned the hard way that that wasn't true could have been a better fit for the overall goal of the movie. Imagine that he granted a wish for a wicked person who used that wish to hurt others, or if Magnifico granted a wish but that wish ended up ruining the person's life because what they wanted wasn't what they needed (i.e. Remember The Princess and the Frog? Dig a little deeper) and that person could have went after Magnifico and blamed him for their troubles (harkening back to We Don't Talk about Bruno). This would be an understandable tragic backstory for Magnifico, and better explain why he's so careful about the wishes he grants. And, perhaps the reason he keeps the wishes he doesn't want to grant is to keep the people in his kingdom docile. No one will be angry with him for not granting their wishes if he makes them forget them and lose that drive and motivation, which makes more sense than the unexplained hording them like he does in the movie? Why does he keep them in the movie other than admiring the wishes? It doesn't make sense to me.

This would give Asha more of a reason to oppose him, if it's shown how his desire to not get hurt or to inadvertently cause hurt turned into a paranoia where he drains people of wishes to fly or play music that inspires others. And, as a side note, we need to see more of how Rosas is a kingdom of people who lack drive and motivation, where only those younger than 18 have that special part of them that inspires them to chase after a dream (something that Astor Rhymemaster touched on). Because that's the point of wishes, right? That's the point of the entire Disney canon. A dream is a wish your heart makes. That star can only get you so far, it takes hard work and determination. It's wanting something better in life, it's dreaming of leaving behind all you know to chase after a tangible light. It's finding a new dream, it's finding a new wish as you grow and learn about yourself and the world.

I don't think the movie Wish understood what makes wishes so important in Disney stories. You know what wishes do? They ignite change. It's not about getting what you want, it's about finding the courage to chase after something better. Ariel wants to be where the people are, but really she wants to be somewhere where others are willing to understand her and in the end, she finds that and makes amends with her father, who finally is willing to see her for who she is. Rapunzel wants to see the lights, and that desire pushes her to leave a tower she's been trapped in her whole life, learning that the world is not as cruel and cold as her abusive mother told her. Cinderella wants to go to the ball, to dance with people who treat her as a person and not a servant of cinders and ash. That wish is granted by a fairy godmother and gives her a hope that is worth fighting for, a hope that helps her reclaim what is rightfully hers; a glass slipper that fits only her and the love that comes with it.

Wishes inspire change. The movie should have been about that. Magnifico could have been right, that some wishes inspire negative change that can drag down multiple people. The kingdom of Rosas could have been so placid because change is scary. Maybe Magnifico could have convinced people, after taking their wish, that it wasn't worth it. Maybe the wish ceremonies could have changed so it wasn't portrayed as some sort of lottery everyone looks forward to, but Magnifico would grant wishes on the spot if he decided they were good and worthwhile, and he would lock away the wishes that would cause trouble and tribulations. 18 year olds could be enthusiastic to give him their wishes, thinking they were surely good and worth granting, only to forget their wish and be told that their wish would have only brought about their unhappiness, this would have justified a more solemn tone in the kingdom, setting up a world where people are mostly downtrodden, thinking their wishes are bad and pointless and they're better off without them. Imagine Cinderella or Rapunzel being told their wishes weren't good, reinforcing all the things their abusive families tell them, taking away that hope and courage to find something better for themselves.

Here's where the true conflict could come in. Asha could be onto this from the beginning, and her opening song could have been about this concern that the people who didn't get their wishes granted aren't willing to try at all. (Because, after all, why doesn't Sabino play music at all? Having that taken from him would take so much joy and creative expression from his life!) But why does Asha know something is amiss?

Simon.

Imagine that Magnifico has a strict rule not to ever share your wish with another person because then it wouldn't come true. It makes sense with our own superstitions, and then makes it so that no one knows anyone else's wishes. Maybe your best friend changes so drastically after giving up their wish, but you believe, like everyone else, that their wish would have only caused suffering. What can you do about it? Well what if Simon told Asha about his wish? What if Asha knew his wish wasn't dangerous and couldn't imagine a way that it could go wrong? That would give her a reason to doubt Magnifico and put more emphasis on how Simon has lost his drive like all the other adults in the kingdom. And it can also emphasize in the end that sharing your wishes and dreams with others can be a powerful thing. Just the act of sharing your dreams can inspire others to go after their own, and they can give you the encouragement to chase your wish too. Wishes inspire change, love gives you the courage to make it happen.

Imagine if the star boy used to be a human, who wished to help others and lost his humanity to do it. Imagine his wish confirms Magnifico's belief, that wishes cause suffering because star boy lost his tether to earth and is separated from the people he loves. Imagine how he foils Asha who also wants to grant everyone's wishes. Imagine him ensuring she doesn't make the same mistake he did while she gives him a reason to change again, to anchor himself to humanity again because he loves her enough not to leave for forever.

Imagine the movie confirming that, yes, change is scary. Chasing your dreams won't always make things better. You might fail more than you succeed and some wishes cannot coincide with each other, leading to grief and strife. But some wishes are worth it. Sometimes, chasing after something better and failing is worth leaving a worse situation. Sometimes taking that chance is worth it, and, like in all fairy tales, if you are kind and generous and act with love, that will make all the difference in the end.

Also, I know everyone wished for a Magnifico and Amaya evil power couple, but imagine if Magnifico was truly in love with Amaya, as he is in the movie, but that love is eventually his undoing. Like Amaya leaps in front of Asha, and Magnifico stops or redirects his attack because she's the one thing he loves more than himself and that is the weakness that Asha and co can take advantage of. Imagine Amaya keeping Magnifico in the mirror and he gets to dote on her from his imprisonment for forever. I'm just saying. At least 30 sickos like me would be into that. Imagine the depth it would give to the themes of love and change and wishing and how acts of love make all the difference.

Alright, I'll get off my soap box. I just really wish Wish could have been stronger because these fairy tales Disney is famous for matter. They really do. But the movie feels too stale and shallow and too much of a cash grab that knows the outline of a disney musical, but is unable to understand the heart of why they work.

#rose and rambles #wish 2023 #disney #disney wish #if you read anything i post let it be this im shaking the bars of my cage #I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT FAIRY TALES AND DREAMS LET ME AT THE PEOPLE WHO MADE WISH SO SHALLOW #ILL MAKE THEM TEA AND GIVE THEM A GOOD SCOLDING #WHILE STEALING THEIR CLOTHES AND PUTTING ON A FAKE MUSTACHE TO TAKE OVER WHILE THEY'RE NIBBLING ON NICE COOKIES #THAT'S A TOTALLY NORMAL THING TO DO RIGHT #if you want to tell a good story you gotta tell it yourself <- my villain origin story #or at least my Sebastian kiss the girl moment. i can't believe they took out star boy. God forbid independent women have romantic interests #anyway im obsessed with how Magnifico always called Amaya “my love” and i think we can do beautiful and twisted things with that #Also i kind of hate the whole 'oh there's no saving him from this evil magic corruption' like le please that's the most stupid thing to eve #be in a fairy tale #just proves these people didn't actually read the snow queen #also also go watch Astor Rhymemaster she's a genius and explains songs IN SUCH AN IN DEPTH WAY #i haven't interacted with much other wish stuff so idk how others are rewriting it but this my ideal

[fleouriarts]

feeling bad about my art lately. will probably not post for a while. but i wanted to at least dump some stuff here before i retreat into my hidey hole

#hivemind tv #hmfcu #riley savage #graydon weaver #quadeca #jane remover #eden burke #my art #2023 #fanart #doodles #furry #its like. augh. longtime fleouriarts followers are familiar with my eternal tango with posting art online #doing this since i was 11 has like rotted my brain and made me rely wayyyy too much on external validation to motivate myself #and every year or so it gets bad enough that i take a break. but the break usually only lasts a month before i miss the feeling #and come back and then the cycle repeats #its probably worse now bc this is a fandom where getting seen by the creators is not really that hard #so there have been times where im like 'well idk if i wanna draw this. but if i do maybe hivemind will rt it :-)' #NO!!! THATS NOT WHAT ART IS ABOUT!!!!! i cant keep letting myself get addicted to the numbers going up man i gotta get out of here #and i was reading a quad interview from around when idmthy got released. cus hes also brain poisoned like this. but he managed to get out #and now just kinda comes online to release music and then leave #i need to be like that. i need to take a break from art posting thats so long that i come back as a changed man odysseus style #idk. its been so long since i drew stuff that no one gets to see but me. all the art i keep to myself is just out of embarrassment #i need to relearn how to draw stuff just for the love of creation and not “maybe people online will like this one” #or “this new thing came out i need to prove my love of it by drawing it” #sometimes it leads to good art but more often than not it just makes me feel worse #whatever. if any of yall are in the hivemind jane or quadeca discord i MIGHT still post stuff there. but otherwise ill keep to myself and m #friends for a while i think #woooooo this is queued to post while im in orgo lab everyone wish me luck with my thin layer chromatography

[bookwyrminspiration]

“I can’t compete in the trials!” Teo you are the main character of the novel The Sunbearer Trials

#the sunbearer trials #i know every characters gotta go through a denial and a ‘why me!’ phase because that’s realistic to life #people don’t just adapt and this makes them more fleshed out and real #but my GOD i always struggle to take it seriously like. of COURSE you will compete in the trials #there was no other option my guy #‘i didn’t understand why they were looking at me like that after a bright light appeared way to close and blinding’ #because you just got SELECTED #c’mon dude ​catch up

[ganondoodle]

tried to get some good map screenshots of skyward sword since the locations are gonna start to matter alot more with chapter 2 and i am already stressed just looking at it bc its either a super rough watercolor painting or a 100 wormy minimaps i couldnt possibly stitch together without losing my mind bc of course my brain is trying to force me to make the map of my comic fit to the game map 100% which is both utterly unnecessary, since destinys story is hundreds of years before the game anyway and no one would question what im doing as long as the rough location placements match anyway, and impossible, they probably dont even fit together at all ..

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #random #since im mainly taking the map of skyward and the map of botw #its uh #sure something #like the map in zelda games changes alot across games even if they are literally the same world #so i shouldnt stress about it #but im already thinking about how many screenshots i need to recreate the lanayru street from botw as accurate as possible #which is also utterly unnecessary #people wouldnt mind if things dont perfectly match right???? right?????????? #its just my brain thats going -yo you GOTTA recreate it 100% perfectly or else whats the POINT- #right??????????????????

[silkywishes]

i think maybe somewhere there is something in between "you're not allowed to voice negative opinions on any part of D20's story bc it's all improv!!" which feels like a blanket excuse to bulldoze over any and all opinions you dislike, and "disparaging the cast and crew bc these fictional characters didn't get treated like actual irl human beings"

#like i'm sorry. brennan is a real person. kipperlilly copperkettle is not. #and in both camps if you're wishing harm onto other members of the fandom #those people are more real than any character on the show will ever be #i think there's a lot to say about how intended themes of a campaign will differ from the end result #depending on how the players engage with the story #but also..... people are allowed to have mixed feelings on the season or even dislike it!! #just don't take it out on actual people goddamn?? #fantasy high #dimension 20 #am i slowly actually engaging with a fandom thru posts for the first time in years........ #i gotta go thru my discord messages and post all my silliest musings

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

fuckfuck fuck i need to make more physical crafts i need to create tangible things that i can hold with my two hands and put it somewhere i can See It and think Wow. I Made That.

#finished my little rudimentary earring holder & one of two arm warmers #MORE!!!! MORE!!!!!! I NEED MORE #maybe... maybe ill go get myself a new little plant and a pot to decorate. a little guy for my windowsill #ohhh i could uh! i could make like a little scrapbook thing and put in there all of my favorite things that ive drawn.... #a little egotistical Perhaps but!! on days where i feel like shit and like my art sucks i could flip through that! #and say 'huh. not too bad actually' #plus it just sounds like a fun craft. i could get stickers and stuff. washi tape. glue flat objects on. add teeny doodles #i just. i need to create more i think thats whats wrong with me lately #i feel such Peace and Joy when i make physical things #i wonder if id like book binding... #no no thats for future me who has a job and an Income to get interested in #that would be fun tho! ive always wanted to try it. #and if i do i'd Really want to do that thing where people take a fanfic and make it into a physical book #that would be so fun... #i could have my favorites on a shelf! with permission of course! #absolutely unprompted #yk when i start to feel that Despair i really just gotta think about what physical things i could create #what art things i still have to discover and attempt and enjoy #today has sucked But! i will take the car tomorrow and by fuck i will do Something #a new plant friend. yeah. i need something alive in my room #and this weekend ill go to michaels and get myself washi tape so that i can secure my posters to the walls #bc my poster tack Is Not Working! #i wonder if our printer can work on cardstock... i wonder if its been Set Up yet i havent seen her #maybe ill make some more tiny vases today. i have clay still... #OH OH i could make small amigurumi keychain things... #*spoken with clenched fists and gritted teeth* there is still so much to discover and delight in in this life #the walls in this house are bare and cold but if my stepdad allows I Can Spruce It The Fuck Up #ohhhhh crochet tapestries... i could probably do that too... #i cant wait to pick up crafts get bored two days later and drop em and i say that sincerely!

[possamble]

realizing im kind of a weirdo about laios and marcille

#possramble #ignore this im just babbling but #the thing is that like. i don't ship laios and marcille together. their relationship is so so important to me in that laios comphets himsel #and THINKS that he might be in love with her but he isn't and that's my insane obsession #platonic soulmates for real but they're so sweet together that i fully expect them to be shipped together #like i get it. that's almost the appeal for me. if dungeon meshi were any other series there'd be an epilogue where they get married #convention dictates that they're meant to be together as the male protagonist and his beloved female deuteragonist #but dungeon meshi DOESNT do that and i love it so fucking much they're the comphet besties ever for my strange little brain #like if i ever did an arranged marriage au it would absolutely be laios and marcille having a platonic political marriage and then just #the most insane mutual pining with marcille and falin while laios and marcille struggle their way into becoming best friends #the imagery of the king and his beautiful court mage being tender to each other and everyone thinking they're in love is like catnip to me #like yeah they'd be like that and have no idea people think they should be together and the subversion makes me so obsessed #the more people ship them romantically. the more i enjoy their platonic dynamic it's like some sort of weird comphet fetishism idk #people think they're in love and im outside the window like YES... YES!!! #but also the second i see stuff of them kissing on the mouth or fucking im like oh god no i went too deep in here i gotta get out #don't wanna see that. i'll go feral over the idea of laios and marcille being arm-in-arm like king and queen but they would not fuck. #i want marcille to be his default comphet beard and dance partner/plus one at official royal events but they're not kissing. #she's there on his arm because he's scared of the other noble women tryna get him and being a baby about it #and people see them muttering to each other and laughing and generally being very sweet and think that they're dating but they're not. #she's actually covered in hickies from falin underneath her dress and is gonna get dragon dicked right after the party is over #like she's in her bedroom and falin's helping her take her ridiculous dress off while listening to her complain about politics #and falin is the person she goes home to the person she falls asleep to and wakes up with #they're a triad of utter devotion to each other but only farcille's side of the triangle is romantic #it's almost like an open secret because they're not trying to hide it at all but people assume and are surprised to find out #like people are so right about her relationship with the toudens but with the siblings' roles switched #love of her life & irreplaceable life companion. does anyone get it #anyway. i don't know what's wrong with me #it bothers me that they're not the undisputed most popular het ship for marcille on ao3 #it's unnatural. marcille being paired with any other man should be a fringe case.

[orcelito]

Super sexy me is so sexy I accidentally set off the fire alarm while baking pie shells for my pumpkin pie. And now I don't know if I should've even baked them in the first place. But well. Too late now 👍

#speculation nation #i am not a fucking baker so something always goes wrong when i make these pies 😭😭😭 #but i am craving my grandma's pumpkin pies... i gotta bake them myself if i want them rn... #see the thing is ive previously bought pre-baked like. graham crusts #but i was like 'that crust sucks lets get a different thing' #so i got tbis dough shit that i put into pans. the box said to bake it. and so i was like ok cool #then as they were in the oven i looked at the pumpkin pie recipe for starting the filling #and then saw that it says 'unbaked shells' and so 😥😥😥😥 #but too late now and it worked fine with the graham. and well. the filling is what i care about the most. #the crusts are just an excuse for having pie filling. #anyways i did set off the alarm. i think it's bc the oven was on so hot #the box says 450 which is hotter than i ever usually do. the pies themselves ask for 350 #so well i turned the oven off and i have the microwave fan running #which oh yeah the fucking handle to my microwave fucking broke. it fucking broke. #i think i'll duct tape it or smth lol. microwave itself works fine still. and i dont want people in my apartment. #it's just the bottom part but it sure did just. splinter off. that shit is Broke broke. #and i scared the shit outta my cats And me with that damned alarm. and now i am just waiting. #calming down some. chilling the crusts. soon i will resume making the pie filling. #it's not like it even takes much time i am just. Nervous now. #i wanna let the oven cool off more b4 i have it going for like 45 mins lol #the crusts are kinda ugly. one of them is inflated on the bottom. these pies r going to be disasters. #so long as they still taste good......thats what i care about the most... #maybe my crusts will end up nuclear... if that happens tho ill just eat the filling out of the crust... its fine... ill be fine... #😭😭😭😭😭😭 why is everything so hard

[sergle]

THE CHOOK WILL LAY EGGS!! They will go in my cake or they will rot on the ground I rly do hate anti egg folks. THERE WILL BE EGGS REGARDLESS IF YOU WANT THEM OR NOT, THATS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU HAVE CHICKENS.

LIKE PLEASE... they lay an egg damn near every day what are you supposed to do with them. throw them all in the creek

#if the chickens had their way also they'd just eat the eggs themselves. gotta take the eggs away before that happens #and the way that people are so weird abt farmers using farm animals for food. like. #how can you be so disconnected from How Meat Happens #it reminds me of how like. if you've seen those liziqi vids where this girl is living on her sick ass property #with her like big ole garden. and there are a bunch of shots of her going and collecting all the individual ingredients for what she's #about to cook #and she also has chickens. and she'll like. go get one. and then prepare it! #which happens off screen #and people being so shocked and horrified by this even though they're all like uwu i wish i lived on a farm #hashtag cottagecore. but if someone quickly kills a well cared for farm animal with the intention of using it for food #then me and my pleather jacket will throw up #sergle answers

[naamahdarling]

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#my psych who prescribes my psych meds is a resident and is moving on in a couple of months #i don't even remember the names of them all at this point #this happens over and over and I cannot find a clinic that will put me with someone who intends to stay #thst will also prescribe my adhd meds #and my anxiety meds #and the real kicker is that twice now they have LIED about it and said they would #only to reveal after all the hoop-jumping that oops sorry they didn't really mean it #so it's a risk i have to take any time i leave #and rhen there's the issue of new people almost always wanting to DO something #but instead of talking to me about it they just decide that my meds need overhauling and pressure me to go off shit that works #but that they morally object to i guess #and my psych for some stupid reason has decided she wants bloodwork for my cholesterol and blood sugar stuff and im just like #what hell does THIS presage because if she harasses me about the results or tries to put me on drugs for that #I'll give her a nasty scrap about it #im not interested in those meds at all #and im certainly not messing with my diet since food is the only pleasure i get most days and even that is marginal at best #and removing that would just make me worse #but medpros for the most part really don't give a fuck about that #and so now im afraid - because i do not and cannot trust them - that if i disapprove of the meds they will retaliate somehow #which good luck proving that when management and oversight often don't even care if they course of treatment will HARM you #if it relates to being fat or having bad numbers #they just gotta pathologize! #so yeah im sick of everything and just kind of want to bury myself in a bog forever #i shouldn't have to deal with this