#but her dying in the end making it so impossible for her to live throughout the mansion bc of her heart | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

moonlightsolo · 1 year

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i see you.

summary: being the product of a secret relationship between a human scientist and a na’vi comes with its perks. one of them being neteyam sully.

pairing: neteyam x fem!na’vi/human reader

warnings: heavvyyyyyyy smooching, angry jake, mention of parent dying/leaving, also things get a lil spicy, one use of y/n.

note: tell a friend to tell a friend she’s baaaaaack !!!!! i haven’t written something in so long so my grammar is kinda shit, so if you see something that doesn’t make sense ignore it! anyway- reader & neteyam are aged up to twenty years old. also reader is 6ft since she’s na’vi/human, but she’s still small compared to him since he’s like 8’2.

part two | part three | part four | part five

no one knew how it happened- how you happened. how a human scientist and na’vi mated; it should have been impossible, but somehow they made it possible.

your mother travelled from earth to pandora to study the native species of the omaticaya clan. during her studies, one particular na’vi caught her eye, and sooner than later they developed a secret relationship and fell deeply in love.

they were inseparable- he taught her the ways of the forest and showed her how the na’vi live day to day. while your mother brought him along to collect samples of the environment around her, and he kept her safe as they explored.

the battle between the sky people and the na’vi, unfortunately ended with your father dying at the hands of your mothers colleagues. the omaticaya finally won, but when the rest of the human soldiers were sent back to earth, your mother was stuck.

she was unable to travel in cryosleep while carrying you, so she was forced to stay on pandora and live out the rest of her pregnancy on the foreign planet.

the only person who knew the identity of your father, was your mother and grace. everyone else assumed some soldier knocked up your mom, but boy, were they wrong.

when you were born, your eye shape and color of your skin resembled your mothers, but the color of your irises were a deep amber, almost glowing yellow. darkened skin-colored stripes decorate your body head to toe, and white freckles adorn your facial features.

the secret was out- you’re half na’vi, and half human.

once the clan found out the scientists child is part na’vi, they took you under their wing to teach you their ways. your mother became extremely jealous, knowing that she could never be accepted by them like you have.

at the mere age of four, your mother left the base to travel back to earth without you. leaving you under the care of norm, max, jake and the rest of the clan.

thankfully being part na’vi and human, you’re able to breathe both types of air. mo’at became your motherly figure once your mom disappeared, quickly helping you adapt to their lifestyle in the forest.

over the years, you started to realize that you were different from the other na’vi children. you’re shorter in height, aren’t as fast, and you didn’t have their azure-colored skin. but somehow, you still felt as if you were a part of them.

you became close to neytiri and jake’s kids, mostly kiri. you grew up with her and neteyam, but as you blossomed into a woman you wouldn’t dare to look him in the eyes.

fearing that he’d realize your true feelings for him if he stared into them too long.

throughout your teen years, you casually dated a few na’vi boys, but none of them were neteyam sully. nobody could compare, you couldn’t take your eyes off of him.

even now as a young adult, those old feelings can’t be choked down anymore. the same feelings you had about the eldest sully boy when you were younger.

“stop drooling.” kiri teases you under her breath as her hands work to weave a basket.

you’re knocked out of your trance, head whipping to face her. “no! i am not drooling.” you scoff and shake your head as you continue tucking leaves into the correct shape. you can feel your cheeks burning hot from her catching you staring at her older brother.

you glance up from your working hands, admiring how neteyam effortlessly spears a fish in the water that he’s standing ankle-deep in. he lets out a triumphant laugh as lo’ak hollers proudly at him from the grass.

“yeah, bro! get that fiiiiiish!” the younger boy whoops happily with his hands cupped around his mouth to amplify the sound.

the older brother turns his head to see who else could have noticed the catch, barely making eye contact with you before your eyes drop back down to your hands.

swiftly, you busy yourself with tucking the leaves into each other. your pointed ears twitch slightly when you notice the sound of rustling water growing closer.

kiri nudges your arm with her shoulder which confirms your suspicions.

he’s walking up to you. why is he walking up to you? you didn’t say anything to him. you didn’t even get a good look at him. there’s no reason for him to come over here.

from your peripheral vision, you can see his feet stop right in front of you in the glittering water. “hey guys.” he speaks softly, almost out of breath.

“hey, neteyam!” kiri quips at him, eyeing you from the corner of her eye with an evil grin.

the sound of his panting voice makes your heart skip a beat and your abdomen constrict your breathing. you push the basket away from your nervous hands to rest them on your knees. your eyes carefully drag up the lanky expanse of his body, meeting his eyes with your own.

“oh hey, neteyam. how’s… um- the fishing going?” you hum nervously, chewing on your bottom lip out of a nervous habit.

you can’t help but notice his hands are resting on his slender hips with his infamous bright smile on his face.

“it was good. caught a few big ones…” he huffs out another strained breath. the sound makes you want to fall over, “what are you guys doing?” his eyes dart over to the trees for a split second before squatting down in front of you and kiri.

his big round eyes look over your unfinished baskets, reaching out to touch yours gently.

“hey! don’t touch. you’ll ruin it.” kiri swats at his grabby hands, making him raise his arms in surrender. “okay, okay!” he laughs.

the sound of rustling leaves distracts you from the boy in front of you, making you and kiri turn to look behind your backs. before you could even make it halfway, his hands wrap around your wrists to yank you forward.

“shit!!” you yelp before you face-plant into the chilly water, gurgling under the surface before lifting your head up, taking a sharp breath.

muffled laughter fills your ears as you sit up in the pond, pushing your soaked hair out of your face and off of your ears so you could hear.

neteyam is sitting in the pond directly in front of you, hand laying across his abdomen as he belly laughs along with lo’ak.

kiri is already climbing out of the water, grumbling under her breath and wringing out her hair. “screw you guys.” she calls back, flipping her middle finger before disappearing into the thick forest towards home.

you look back at neteyam and lo’ak who are slightly calming down between their fits of laughter. “you… should… see… your… face… right… now!” neteyam cackles, throwing his head back in the air.

“best idea, bro.” lo’ak reaches over to high five his brothers shoulder and to use him to pull himself out of the water. he grabs neteyam’s hand to help him up next, both of them still giggling.

“this was your idea?” you stare up at neteyam with squinted eyes and a scowl on your face.

the boy audibly gulps when he notices your changed demeanor, his hand going to scratch the back of his neck. “uuhh, yeah… maybe?” he clears his throat, darting his eyes away from you.

for a moment, you keep the angry facade before your arm winds back and you send your hand through the water to splash the older boy.

“woah!” neteyam blocks the water with one of his hands, a surprised smile instantly forming on his perfect lips.

he swoops down towards the water, sending a wave directly into your face. “hey!” your eyebrows furrow, quickly getting onto your knees to send another burst of water towards him.

lo’ak watches the scene unfolding in front of him, noticing that the rest of the fish swam away from the commotion. “guess we’re done fishing today.” he sighs in defeat and climbs out of the pond without either of you noticing. he follows kiri’s footsteps into the forest with the basket of fish over his shoulder.

you and neteyam continue battling it out, which ends in both of you completely soaked head to toe. “truce! truce!” you yell out in exasperation, falling back into the water.

“my stomach hurts from laughing. i can’t anymore.” you continue to giggle as neteyam helps you up from your position in the water. he slowly trails behind you as you trudge back towards land, his tall stature towers over you from behind. he reaches out to grip your hips to lift you onto the plush grass.

the feeling of his hands resting on your body makes your blood run hot, cheeks flaring with heat.

“we’re drenched. what are we going to tell everyone?” he breathes out heavily with a soft chuckle.

“we slipped and fell into the water?” you suggest and look up at him.

“we just happened to both slip and fall into the water together?” his eyebrows raise, and his cheeks puff out air in attempt to not laugh.

unfortunately, neteyam decides to look down at you which makes both of you burst into laughter again, “that idea is so stupid.” he choked out, pressing his fist to his mouth to stifle his little laughs.

“let’s go back. we can figure it out on the way.” you sputter out, hunching over slightly as you walk forward in attempt to stop your giggles.

“hey, wait!” neteyam’s voice is suddenly serious, and you can’t feel his height looming behind you anymore.

you turn around at the sound of his voice, seeing he’s still in the same spot he was standing in. “i don’t want to go back yet.” he admits, his big round eyes darting down to his feet.

you can feel your heartbeat grow faster, pattering against your chest like a jackhammer. “why not? you okay?” you take a hesitant step forward to stand underneath him, looking up in attempt to read his facial features.

by now, the sun is starting to set. the foliage around you both is slowly changing over, the white freckles in each others skin sparkling under the moonlight.

his yellow eyes shyly look into yours, a timid smile twitching up onto the corner of his lips.

“m’fine, i promise. i just want to stay here for a little longer. i don’t want to go back just yet.” he mumbles softly, a puff of his breath fans over your face from your close proximity.

you can’t help but feel giddy from his words, unable to stop yourself from reaching your hand out to rest on his waist. your thumb absentmindedly rubs circles against his soft skin, “do you mind if i stay with you?”

“do i mind?” he scoffs with a roll of his eyes, throwing his head back with an over-exaggerated sigh.

embarrassment floods your body, making your ears ring from the blood rushing through your head. out of fear he’s angry with you, your hand pulls away from him, “oh i’m sorry. i’ll go then.” you start to turn the opposite way but he grabs your hips to keep you in place.

“are you serious? you really don’t get it do you?” he almost laughs out of amusement, but you can’t help but feel even more confused.

“i want you to stay here with me. i want you.” one of his hands come up from his side, bending down slightly to carefully tuck your hair behind one of your ears.

your face stays emotionless as your eyes dart from his eyes to lips and back. “say something. anything?” he begs and shakes his head at you with an amused smile.

“‘teyam…” you breathe out, a big smile beaming across your face, hands reaching up to cup his cheeks; something you could’ve only dreamed of doing. “i can’t tell if you’re being serious.” you whisper softly in the small amount of space between your faces.

“i’m gonna kiss you now to show you how serious i am.” he looks directly into your eyes before they flutter shut and he leans forward.

the feeling of his lips on yours makes your knees go weak. neteyam sully is really kissing you right now. your arms wrap around his waist tightly to hold yourself up, which he quickly notices.

his large hands drag down your sides and over your butt to grip the back of your thighs to hoist you up to his height. your legs instinctively wrap around his waist, ankles locking against his lower back.

the new position allows him to deepen the kiss even more by gently wiggling his tongue against yours. he stumbles forward to a nearby tree, pressing your back against the trunk of it.

it’s not like he’s having trouble carrying you, you’re equivalent to a feather for him. he just wants you closer.

one of his braids falls in your face, swinging and tapping your cheek whenever your lips would connect.

“your hair…” you giggle against his lips, bringing your hand up to his face to tuck it back behind his ear.

“sorry, they have a mind of their own, ya know.” his husky voice mumbles deeply into your ear, making goosebumps rise on your skin.

your eyes flutter open to be met with the glowing forest, neon colors lighting up the vegetation around you both. you’ve been on this planet for twenty years and it still surprises you every day.

neteyam pulls back to look you in the eyes, letting you admire his face for a moment. his blue skin seems brighter under the bioluminescent foliage. especially with the gleaming freckles that paint his skin.

“ma neteyam, you’re so pretty.” your hand cups his soft cheek which he nuzzles into your palm almost instantaneously.

“no, you’re the pretty one, my girl.” he leans forward to peck your lips once more. the little nickname makes your stomach do somersaults in your belly. his tail flicks up happily against your ankle, tickling your lower leg.

neteyam takes the time to gently kiss down your neck and over your collarbone, “i want you to be mine.” he almost whimpers. his nose nuzzles against your pulse point as his lips continue litter your neck with kisses.

“will your parents approve?” your voice slightly quivers, “you’re next in line to become eytukan. i’m not a full-blood. i don’t think-.” your rambling is paused by his lips pressing against the tip of your nose.

“i don’t care what they think. plus, you know my dad likes you.” he gives you a reassuring smile, bringing one of his hands up to cup your cheek. you can’t help but take note that his palm and fingers cover the entire side of your head.

“yeah, but your mom…” you trail off, not wanting to seem rude by talking about his mother, but you know that she has a problem with humans. you’ve seen the way she looks at spider.

“look, i’m half-blood too. i don’t think my mom is going to care, plus you’ve been around our family for years. she likes you, i promise.”

“i’m not one of you. i’m different, neteyam.” you let out shakily, “i’m small and not as fast, i can’t keep up with you.” your eyes dart to the side as you chew on the skin of your lip.

“look, i know she can be tough, but i promise you, i don’t care what she thinks. since i was a teenager, i realized that i wanted you. i wasn’t brave enough to tell you that until now, but i don’t give a shit about our differences.” his hand grips your jaw with his hand, turning your face towards him so he can look into your watery eyes.

“i see you, y/n.” his doe-like eyes flicker over your face, trying to read your expression. his eyes are full of adoration and love for the girl in his arms.

your breath gets caught in your throat, “and i see you.” both of your hands slide up from his chest to rest on either side of his face, pulling him in for another kiss.

on the way up, you accidentally brush against the voice comm device on his necklace. not knowing it would activate and relay sound through his father’s, mothers, and lo’ak’s ear piece.

you both gasp into each others mouth when he ruts his hips against your center, the pressure pins your hips to the tree behind you.

“what is that sound? who has their comm on?”you hear a low muffled voice coming from somewhere.

neteyam instantly pulls away from the heated kiss, eyes wide with terror and embarrassment. your lips parting lets off a loud suction noise when he pulls away, now making it obvious what the sounds were coming from.

neteyam holds you up with one arm while he uses the other to click on a button on his necklace to turn it off, “it’s my dad.”

“it’s just neteyam sucking face.” you hear lo’aks voice come through clearly in his ear piece.

the boys head falls forward to rest on your chest, letting out the loudest over-exaggerated groan of annoyance. the puff of his hot breath against your damp skin makes a shiver shoot down your spine.

you can’t help but giggle and gently pet the top of his head in attempt to console him, “i’m never going to live this down.” he speaks against your skin, grumbling obscenities under his breath.

“neteyam! where are you, boy?” jake shouts into his ear.

he taps your thigh to signal you to release your grip from around his waist. he gently lowers you back down to the ground before answering him, “i’m here, dad. i’m here.”

you can’t help but lean your head on his elbow since that’s the only place you can reach. you grab one of his hands, bringing it to your face to examine it.

you thread your fingers through his much larger ones, squeezing his hand with your own. you almost laugh at how his hand engulfs yours.

“yeah, mmmhmm. yeah, okay. i hear you. lo’ak shut up. i got it. we’ll be there soon.” neteyam responds to whoever is talking in his ear.

“is everything okay?” you mumble quietly, peering up at him through your eyelashes.

“they want us to come back, but i think everything is okay.” he smiles down at you, pulling you into his side while still holding your hand.

neteyam leads you through the thick brush of the forest to his ikran. the banshee chirps at the sight of it’s owner, fluttering it’s wings in excitement. “hey, buddy.” neteyam hums and rubs it’s head.

he reaches around his back for his braid, bringing it forward to make bond with the animal. neteyam effortlessly mounts onto the bird, reaching a hand out for you to take.

you step forward to slide your hand into his so he could help you on and get situated. “hold on tight.” he peers down at you from behind his shoulder with a smirk before the ikran nosedives off of the tree branch.

“oooohhhhh my god!” you screech as your arms desperately flail around his waist, holding onto him as tightly as you can.

he can’t help but laugh at your scream once he levels out, now coasting through the sky through the floating mountains. one of his hands reaches back to grip your thigh to pull you even closer to him.

you hesitantly open your eyes, looking down into the glowing scenery beneath you. “beautiful, right?” his voice raises over the loud whooshing of the wind.

“i love it.” you squeeze his torso tight, snuggling your temple into the crook of his back as you coast through the air.

the ikran dips down slightly, making you gasp and tighten around his body. neteyam chuckles, his hand rests on your leg to slowly rub gentle circles into your skin to calm you.

“hold on, we’re gonna descend.” he leans forward with the ikran, plunging downwards toward the ground once again. you squeal loudly, wriggling behind him in attempt to get closer to him.

neteyam chuckles, shaking his head as he weaves and bobs between trees to make it back home. the ikran vertically swoops up into the large crevasse in the cave floor, landing on the rocky floor.

neteyam hops easily off the ikran, disconnecting tsaheylu before his hands grip your waist to lift your body up to place you on the ground next to him.

“what were you guys thinking staying out past curfew?” jake storms up to you both, obviously angry.

“i know, but i can handle myself. i know how to fight.” neteyam grumbles back, making jake even angrier with his son. if steam could shoot out of his ears at this moment, it would.

“i know that you know how to fight, son. but the rda, they could be roaming anywhere. it’s dangerous, especially putting her in that situation.” he looks down at you, then turns his attention back to his son.

before jake could lecture him even more, you decide to intervene, “i’m sorry, sir. it’s all my fault we stayed out. i persuaded him to stay… to uh- fly around,” you glance up at neteyam through the corner of your eye, “i take full responsibility.” you nod at jake, gulping down your nervousness.

jake sighs as he rubs his temples with one of his hands, “so then what’s the reason why both of you are soaked?” he points out, making you instantly freeze from not knowing what to say.

neteyam’s hand comes up to rest on your shoulder, “to be honest, we were wrestling in the water.”

your eyes blow wide from his words, turning to him to stare daggers into the side of his face.

“wrestling… in the water?” jake almost laughs, “look i didn’t need to know that much. you couldn’t come up with a better excuse than that?”

“oh shit.” neteyam whispers under his breath, “no, dad, it’s not like that at all. i meant… we were just splashing each other after fishing. it wasn’t anything like that.”

“look, you two just be safe and keep it on the down-low. and next time, please take off your comm, ‘kay?” jake lowers his voice before shaking his head in disbelief and turning on his heel to head back.

“so he thinks we had sex then, huh?” you breathe out defeat, looking up at neteyam. the boy lets out a huff of air as he watches his father walk away, “yeah i guess so.” his voice has a slight tinge of humor to it.

the hand resting on your shoulder pulls you into his side with a little chuckle. he starts walking with you toward the pod where the scientists sleep.

he follows you up the steps to the door, pausing a few steps down before you could open it. his face now parallel to yours since you’re higher on the stairs.

you smile down at him, reaching out to gently pinch his chin to pull his face forward. you press your lips against his softly, as if he was a delicate flower petal. “i had fun tonight.” you mumble with a smile against his lips before pulling back.

neteyam presses forward to chase your lips with his, trying to breathe in as much of you as he could. “don’t wanna let you go yet… wanna kiss you more.” he desperately pulls you forward to kiss you again, sucking in a sharp breath.

your arms lazily drape over his shoulders to kiss him slowly, and tantalizingly. he sucks your bottom lip between his teeth, gently nibbling the skin before making his way down to nuzzle into the crook of your neck.

“gotta go to bed before my mother has me by my throat.” his words make you laugh as you twirl one of his braids between your fingers.

“tomorrow i wanna take you somewhere. will you let me?” he pulls back with a smile, thumb rubbing the skin of your outer thigh.

“of course, i would love to. but where though?” you question with your fingers still busy messing with his hair.

“it’s a surprise.” he hums playfully making your eyebrows furrow from curiosity of where it could be.

“i love surprises.” you grin, leaning forward to peck his lips once more before attempting to completely pull away. neteyam groans from the warmth of your body leaving him, his arms wrap around your legs to keep you in place.

“don’t leaaaaave.” he whines, resting his chin on your chest to look up at you.

“i need to shower and clean up before bed. plus your mother is going to have your throat, ya know.” you poke his little pink nose, making his face scrunch up cutely.

“you’re right, you’re right.” he grumbles sadly, patting your outer thigh before he completely pulls back and stands up straight. he leans forward to swiftly peck your lips, “just needed one more, m’sorry. i’ll see you tomorrow.” he turns around to climb down the rest of the steps.

“goodnight, neteyam!” you shout at him as you unlatch the metal door.

he turns around at the sound of your voice, “goodnight.” he whisper-yells back at you as he slowly walks backwards to watch you slip inside.

neteyam’s smile on his face doesn’t falter, not even for one second. the only thing on his mind is you. he never would have imagined that his day would have ended like this. confessing his feelings to you, and kissing you goodnight. it’s almost as if he’s living through a fantasy his younger self dreamed of.

the excitement of you makes him toss and turn throughout the night; it makes him nervous, knowing that he is already head over heels for you and in too deep- but all he can worry about now, is seeing you tomorrow.

tags: @k----a27s @aspenreadsfanfic @aliseaaah

#neteyam sully x y/n #neteyam sully x reader #neteyam sully x you #neteyam x reader #neteyam x you #neteyam x y/n #avatar x reader #avatar x you #avatar x y/n #neteyam x omaticaya!reader #avatar twow #avatar #neteyam #i see you series

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ripcupid · 6 months

Note

Hey there, can I please request fluff or domestic headcanons for Captain Price, thank you in advance:)

Price headcanons

first time with hcs so ntm on me

While he’s away

he’ll try to give you daily updates during missions so yk he’s not dead (teehee) but yk bad service in Urzikstan or just international in general, it has you a little worried when he doesn’t text back for a while

Sending each other pictures throughout the day when he’s at the base and texts you when some trainee or anybody annoys him.

has a photo of you but keeps it very safe away from other people so no enemies know about you and you’re never in danger

if he was to get hurt, he’ll try and get someone to tell you asap

he always promises he’ll come back unharmed (as possible) and will buy you small gift as sorries for leaving especially if the mission took longer then expected

he hates it if he missed something important. like if y’all had kids and they lost their baby teeth or took their first steps he would be so pissed for missing it.

you’ve ever seen those bf who leave a bunch of letter for when they go away? yeah price would do that

When he’s home

he has to sleep with you so impossibly close to him, he needs to feel the weight of you so he knows you’re there and safe.

idk shit about the special forces but let’s just say he has like ptsd (cause he be killin’ people) and he has like nightmares or insomnia and you’ll be his safe place when he needs to be reminded that he did what he did for a reason.

and speakin’ of insomnia i could see him staying in the living room to not bother you as you sleep but you quickly notice he’s not there and go to look for him.

now happier stuff, he’ll spend every moment he has with you while he’s home just doing random mundane things, like grocery shopping with you or walking the dog with you. whatever it is he wants to do it with you

early morning cuddles when he’s home especially the first day back like he wouldn’t let you out of bed cause like what else do you need to do? 🙄

his job always coming first causes some arguments but it’s mostly you’re worry about if he will come back (he always does)

he wants to be a dad, wants a have a little mini him that he can teach self defense stuff to but the idea of getting “injured” dying makes him hesitant

and if he has a daughter, he’ll be like one of those dads that end up in dresses having a tea party with her and her stuffed animals.

speaking of stuffed animal, imagine him buying you little new ones when he comes home because they reminded him of you

attached to you as soon as he gets home

would try to quit smoking for you and his health

he keeps his work life and personal life separate doesn’t want to talk about what he’s done on missions and even tho he wants to he doesn’t talk about you at work

I think I saw a video like this but I can’t stop think about Price cooking shirtless and you just standing back and watching his back muscles move.

It was so hard not to make this smutty

Never dones these before, scared rn

#cod x you #price x reader #captain john price x reader #headcanon #first time #price headcanons #john price x reader #john price #captain john price x female reader #captain john price x you #captain johnathan price #captain price #captain price x reader #captain john price

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thewriteblrlibrary · 4 months

Text

Anime and Manga just... hits different. Doesn't it?

.... want to know how they do it?

(Spoilers for The Promised Neverland.)

_____________

For character creation.

(based on what I've seen, particularly from the promised neverland)

Japanese storytelling is originally inspired by a type of Chinese poetry, and so you can see a poetic way of storytelling throughout all of anime and manga

1) have a concept/problem/weird little phenomena to explore (like the trolly problem) For the promised neverland, this is the idea of morality in dire situations. In a system that doesn't end well for them, who should you save? How many can you save?

In essence: ask a question. This is not a moral. It is not a theme. Anime and manga tend to have more nuanced themes because instead of portraying a moral, they ask a question.

2) each character will have a different answer to this question <-- and this doubles as their worldview.

For the promised neverland, Emma wants to save everyone. Her answer is that they should save everyone, no matter the danger. Ray thinks they should only save the three Main characters, because it isn't practical to save everyone. If they try, they will only be killed. And Norman is in between. He is a strategist and while he knows this will be insanely difficult, he does want to save everyone for Emma

3) why do they think this? Have a base motivation or backstory for why they have this answer. What is their reasoning for why this is right?

For Emma, she is showcased from the beginning to love her family and like praise from her mother.

For Norman, he doesn't want to be alone, and he cherishes his friends because they always kept him company, so he's going to want to try to cater to the both of them For Ray (spoilers).....he knows the secret of the house because he remembers when he was a baby. So he knows how impossible this is, and has had to live with his siblings dying for years. He's tired.

One of the best ways (I think) to do step #3 is to have backstory, and it can be as basic or as expansive as you want.

Posts on writing backstory here and here. <-- also where I talk about desire vs fear for characters, which I think adds more depth and you'll see it a lot in anime/manga. The desire is typically more obvious though, whereas the fear is a bit more subtle and nuanced.

To summarize it - the character will have a desire, and a fear that stops them from getting that desire, both rooted in their worldview.

(Like for Emma and Ray and Norman, they all want for their happy life to be true, and they fear failing to save themselves or their siblings. Each has their own version of this, depending on what their answer/worldview is)

_________________________________

For the story itself

(following kishotenketsu for this. Resources here and here.)

Ki - Showcase a shorthand for the character immediately, so people can get a good sense of their base personality.

Sho - Then you can showcase more development. How does their behavior affect their current situation?

Based on the whole desire vs fear thing, the character will have nuanced behavior and thought patters. The audience will look at this and it will build intrigue for WHY they act like this. (You haven't revealed the backstory yet, this is after the backstory.)

The character will be actively avoiding their fear and chasing their goal... and yet they cannot have their goal without facing their fear. The character will try to use their personality to get their goal without facing their fear... but it's going to be difficult... and they may prioritize avoiding their fear.

Ten - Then you can showcase the backstory. This works as a twist + answer to why the character acts the way they do.

youtube

Essence of this video: the flashback should be added when it makes the next emotional moment have more weight(edited)

Now you can put something like a parallel to the backstory and see how the character will react differently. (The backstory has taught them something about how they should act/how the world should work) This time the character's full change will be very apparent.

Thinking back on this... I think this is what Haikyuu does.... for literally every character.

And I imagine this would be how you would introduce your character/story/first arc

From here you would use the kishotenketsu method in similar ways... but it would work like this

Ki - introduction of a problem that will test the character's internal conflict/worldview

Sho - how the character is going about it - their misbehaviors and suches and such (you can also include backstory here if it explains a certain aspect of why the character acts the way they do)

Ten - something happens that forces the character to either get scared and avoid both their fear and their desire, or they are able to narrowly get away with getting their desire

Ketsu - their realization. The character will go about their life/see the world a little differently because the twist caused a change in their perspective. How do they act as a result?

Additional videos -

youtube

And there you have it. Yet another writing methodology from the writeblr library.

And as always - the best writing methods are the ones that work for you, take what you need, modify it for your wip, or make something up on your own. There's no need to take advice as the end all be all!

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tenebris-lux · 7 months

Text

Content/trigger warnings: talk of self-destructive behavior and suicide.

Does anyone else find the changes in Jonathan … worrying? I think that promise to not tell Mina anything about the case is part of the reason. He can’t vent to her, she can’t encourage him to talk, so he’s starting to obsess, and the obsession is getting dragged out by the wait for the Czarina Catherine.

I’ve also been rereading a paragraph from October 3:

“To one thing I have made up my mind: if we find out that Mina must be a vampire in the end, then she shall not go into that unknown and terrible land alone. I suppose it is thus that in old times one vampire meant many; just as their hideous bodies could only rest in sacred earth, so the holiest love was the recruiting sergeant for their ghastly ranks.”

At first glance, one might think, “ohhh, that’s so sweet, he loves her so much….” But it’s not sweet. It’s … bad. Yes, he loves her THAT much. So much that if something were to happen to her, he’d let the same thing happen to himself. Vampires aren’t romantic creatures in this novel—they’re demonic, murdering monsters with no identifying behaviors of the person they used to be. The vampires are predators. They go after children, babies, take blood from people against their will, and sometimes enjoy their victims’ pain. Jonathan has seen this firsthand while helpless and in near-paralyzed states, has nearly been a victim of one. He knows all this. And his statement indicates he’ll willingly do that to other innocent people too if Mina turns.

As the vampire isn’t really who they were when alive, it’s not like it’ll be a comfort to each other if they both turn. For all we know, they might not have the same feelings for each other after they’re both vampires. Dracula lost all interest in Lucy once she turned. Jonathan would probably be Mina’s prime target (if she remembers; Lucy didn’t go after Arthur until he was in front of her, then she threw the child to the ground; and we knew how much he meant to her when she was alive). Harker didn’t promise to stake Mina either, so … he’d just let it happen.

Take out the word “vampire” and put in the word “zombie” or “ghoul”. It’ll amount to the same thing. She’ll bite him, he’ll turn … and then they’ll each hunt for more victims. Maybe together, maybe apart. It won’t be THEM anymore. His entries essentially say, “vampires can increase their numbers by going after their loved ones … fine. I’ll join them if it comes to that.” Become a “Devil of the Pit” like all of them. A “Thing,” as Seward called the vampire that had been Lucy.

So … to me, it sounds more like a suicide promise. He wouldn’t make sure she doesn’t hurt anyone else … he’d just follow suit. Because everything else in the world? It’s not even secondary; it’s inconsequential. Mina dies or turns, he’s not going to allow himself the chance to recover. Hell, if he sticks true to his vow, he might turn on the other guys to prevent them from staking her. And that would be against Mina’s dying wish.

Preferably, he wants the Count dead and out of their lives. Then … well, he’s not thinking about afterwards, because there might not be one.

Looking at his October 4 entry and comparing it to his behavior now, there’s clear deterioration in his psyche:

“For my own part, now that his horrible danger is not face to face with us, it seems almost impossible to believe in it. Even my own terrible experiences in Castle Dracula seem like a long-forgotten dream. Here in the crisp autumn air in the bright sunlight—

Alas! how can I disbelieve! In the midst of my thought my eye fell on the red scar on my poor darling’s white forehead. Whilst that lasts, there can be no disbelief. And afterwards the very memory of it will keep faith crystal clear. Mina and I fear to be idle, so we have been over all the diaries again and again. Somehow, although the reality seems greater each time, the pain and the fear seem less. There is something of a guiding purpose manifest throughout, which is comforting. Mina says they perhaps we are the instruments of ultimate good. It may be! I shall try to think as she does. We have never spoken to each other yet of the future….”

Since then, the very next day in fact, Mina made Jonathan promise to keep her ignorant of the plans to take out the Count.

“‘I promise!’ and as I said it, I felt that from that instant a door had been shut between us.”

Then a few days later, she asked for the assurance that she be taken down should she become a danger to anyone. Harker couldn’t promise that. But he did consent to read her the burial service. And if that fucked up Jack as we heard on the phonograph, what must that have been like for him? But even though she’s not technically dead, they’re keeping distance between them, so … he’s not doing well. His entries after the burial service have some cynical humor in them. Jack said today that Harker’s hands were like ice while they’re all just waiting for news, and he’s sharpening his blade “which he now always carries with him.”

None of these are good signs. The only future he’s thinking of at this point is the Count’s destruction, so that’s what’s defining him now.

Count Dracula may be a ways away, but he’s caused a psychic drain to happen to Harker. Again. And this time, Mina can’t help bring him back to health. He can’t open up to her, and she can’t get herself involved. They can’t balance each other or work together like they’re used to. All they can do … is just see each other. And hurt. And Jonathan’s best outlet right now is sharpening that damn knife.

#jonathan harker #mina harker #count dracula #lucy westenra #vampires #dracula #dracula daily

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queen-dahlia · 1 year

Text

𝐆𝐢𝐥𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐭 𝐯𝐨𝐧 𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐧

𝗠𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗥𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗲 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝟭𝟴 𝗛𝗶𝘀 𝗣𝗢𝗩

Gil's dad is a real psycho, poor Gibby ༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽

Note: Translation is not 100% accurate. Expect grammatical errors.

// : alternate translation | ⫘⫘ : flashback

When I headed for Rhodolite, I had only the faintest of hopes of meeting the little rabbit.

I never intended to bring her back to Obsidian.

When the rose that tells the time, which is said to be used in the selection of the king, falls, the farewell will surely come.

However, for some reason, the thought that Akatsuki might make it impossible for me to see the little rabbit for the rest of my life made me act in a way that was inexplicable even to myself.

(I never thought I would bring Little Bunny to such a dirty place.)

The castle of Obsidian, the land of deceit and corruption, is painted with blood, unlike the castle of the land of roses.

In the square where we are walking now, as many people as there are stars have been executed at the sole discretion of the Emperor.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

Gilbert: "... Al... bert…"

Gilbert: "Mother…?"

Gilbert: "Ah—..."

Gilbert: "...... AAAAAH!"

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

(... I knew this place wouldn't suit you.)

(This is not the kind of place for Little Bunny to live.)

I shake off the clinging memories and put on my usual smile.

Gilbert: "The first thing you want to do when you get to Obsidian is have an audience with the Emperor, right? You're so serious."

Emma: "… Since I'll be staying here, I thought I should say hello."

(… I wonder if Chevalier told her to go find out what's going on inside.)

Inviting the little rabbit into the bosom means that the information will eventually reach Chevalier, who is behind it.

It's a pain, but considering it's in exchange for the time I spend with the little rabbit, I'd say it's an equal price to pay.

Gilbert: "—…It's already midnight, but that's okay."

We walk around the square with the little rabbit's small hand in tow.

I just want to pull her away from this place as soon as possible, and I just can't help but quicken my steps.

Gilbert: "I'll let you meet him."

Emma: "Uh…"

Gilbert: "So, I'll let you meet the Emperor. It's the only time you'll get to meet him."

Emma: "I-Is that okay?"

(… It's no good.)

Gilbert: "It's originally not possible. The Emperor doesn't allow basic audiences day or night."

Gilbert: "But I'll give you special permission."

Gilbert: "I have the utmost respect for your bravery in wanting to meet the blood-crazed Emperor."

(You knew the emperor was in trouble when you started asking around about the Blood-Stained Rose Day.)

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

His Majesty the Emperor: "—Ah, I killed your brother and mother. What about it?"

Gilbert: "Nothing..."

Gilbert: "Don't you feel anything?"

His Majesty the Emperor: "Well... it wasn't fun; neither of them begged for their lives until the very end, and then they died quietly."

His Majesty the Emperor: "I like the sound of a death-defying scream. And yet those two... are nothing short of a disappointment." // "I love the sound of a dying man's death screams. But those two... are nothing short of a disappointment."

Gilbert: "——……"

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

(He was naturally a madman; the fallen beast of Rhodolite was still a cute little thing.)

(I can't believe she wants to meet such an emperor who loves killing, indulges in pleasure, and enjoys a momentary way of life...)

Gilbert: "You have a lot of questions, don't you?"

Gilbert: "Just be careful. If you say something bad, you'll be killed."

I can feel her fear through our clasped hands.

This is a normal human reaction.

(——Hehe, I'm glad I killed him then.)

The mad emperor is gone.

It is the biggest secret that Obsidian has today that neither the little rabbit nor many other people know.

(I wonder how she will react... I'm looking forward to it.)

══════════════════

The sound of shoes echoes in the space where moonlight shines through the huge windows.

There is also the jet-black chair that only the top of the evil empire, feared throughout the continent, is allowed to sit in.

It is like being built on a pile of corpses.

The history of Obsidian is spun by invasion and pillage.

It is a country that specializes in trampling on the well-being of others to feed itself. // It is a country that excels at trampling on the happiness of others to feed itself.

There is no way that the throne of the king can be beautiful.

I let go of the puzzled little rabbit and went alone to the throne.

Each step of the staircase reminds me of it.

(Yeah… I'm not really the kind of person who can be with the little rabbit.)

(Rhodolite was just the last dream I had…)

(Finally, we're back to reality.)

I sit down on a cold, jet-black throne.

The little rabbit that can be seen from here is too far away.

Gilbert: "Welcome to Obsidian?"

Crossing my legs and propping myself up on my elbows, I look down at the little rabbit.

Even though she's far away, I can only feel the confusion.

Emma: "The Emperor... Your Majesty…"

Gilbert: "I told you my name is Gilbert von Obsidian, didn't I?"

Gilbert: "Only one person in the country can use the name Obsidian."

Gilbert: "Only the emperor."

Emma: "But Gilbert called himself a prince..."

Gilbert: "It's not a lie, okay? Well, I'm a former prince, to be exact."

(—Did you know? Miss Bunny.)

(I was "Kloss" before I called myself Obsidian.)

(I had to call myself that if I wanted to be a prince, but I hated it to the point of nausea.)

(They are the kind of family that would flatter and laugh at the emperor even if their relatives were executed.)

Emma: "… Why…"

Emma: "… Whenever we talked about the Emperor, Gilbert always seemed to be talking about something else!"

Gilbert: "I was talking about the former emperor."

Gilbert: "I killed him."

Gilbert: "… Oh, no. That was a top national secret."

Her face, which is usually as charming as a baby rabbit, is stained with despair.

It's almost as if I've betrayed your expectations—

It may have been the decisive moment that destroyed the relationship we had built.

(I can only hurt you. And yet you—)

(You really are an idiot.)

Gilbert: "You thought I was acting according to the will of the Emperor, didn't you?"

Gilbert: "All invasions of other countries are ordered by His Majesty the Emperor—yes, that's right."

Gilbert: "My intention is Obsidian's intention."

(I'm never the kind of guy you're going to like.)

#サイバード #イケメン王子 #ギルベルト=フォン=オブシディアン #ikemen prince #ikemen prince gilbert von obsidian #ikemen prince gilbert #ikeprince #ikeprince gilbert von obsidian #ikeprince gilbert #gilbert von obsidian #ikeprince jp #ikepri jp #ikeprince translation #ikepri gilbert route spoilers #ikemen prince spoilers #ikeprince spoilers #ikepri spoilers #dahlia's bad translation

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thisisntmyrightera · 2 years

Text

Idol? no thanks, i'm the hellfire princes! | Joseph Quinn x Kpop Idol

SUMMARY: While living your dream of being an idol in South Korea you accidentally reveal who your crush is on a Vlive and your fans start doing their job for you to meet them.

Note: This idea came after a friend ask me about what would happen if this were real, the reader is of legal age

Words: 2,851

Note: English isn't my first language, so i make my best.

All interactions are well received and appreciated.

Thanks for reading!

----------------------------------------------

- I've trained a lot these days and I'm also rehearsing for the next tour so please come to see us - you smiled at your phone reading the comments that appeared on the screen that came from followers of your group around the world

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Pr33tie123: Did you like Ateez's comeback? Rosievmp: Will you come to America? y/naroundtheworld: Did you dye your hair? It looks darker, I love it! millie4everlv: Did you see the new season Stranger Things?

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- I hope we can go to America soon - Your eyes moved between the comments smiling trying not to drop any spoilers that could compromise you in the next tour dates - Yes! - You smiled excitedly reading the Stranger Things message - I've been watching it with Min-Ju and the truth is that we love it sooooo much, I don't think we can wait for volume 2

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oliviaweeh: Who is your favorite character? flourwer: Eddie must definitely be her favorite, she's always had a thing for tough guys.

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-My favorite?...-you looked to one side of your room while you hugged your pillow thinking- I think Eddie, he is my favorite because he makes me feel comfortable, definitely Eddie is very close to the type of boy that I like both physically and in his feelings and definitely if he were real I would give him a chance - you smiled biting your lip - oh I have to show you something - you got up carefully not to drop your cellphone from the position in which you had it accommodated going to your closet taking your Hellfire shirt coming back happily showing it to the camera - Yunho Sunbaenim gave me this when he found out I was obsessed with Eddie, I've been wearing it for rehearsals because it's so comfortable.

That night your live ended with many good comments and some others asking you to focus on your career and leave the "games" of love for a character, all normal if you remembered the environment of your career.

Taking advantage that the new song of your group had come out and you were in the last days of promotion, the agency decided to upload a video on social networks with a dance practice where your position as the center of dance was noted throughout the video while you were wearing your Hellfire shirt, making the comment box filled with good comments about how coordinated and well trained they were but also how they stole the attention.

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Sarah Lee: Y/N is definitely the queen of Hellfire JooShin12: Somebody tell Y/N to stop wearing that shirt or we'll have to change the lightstick to one with Hellfire's colors. Y/g/n4ever: Someone show this to Joseph Quinn, SAP! ArmyXy/f/n: Why is she so perfect? now i'm fighting between her and joseph because i love them both.

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Quickly 4 weeks passed and the tour began, Asia had its first dates, then a couple more in Europe until arriving in London, if someone had told you 3 years ago that one day you would be performing at Wembley you would never believe it, you were a girl with almost impossible dreams and in your type you were the first to make them come true and succeed with your 6 friends and colleagues, it was the moment of your life, you could not expect anything better because you already had everything

-Hello, welcome! - you smiled greeting the fans who passed in front of you and the other girls at the fan meeting they had hours before the concert

-I brought you something, a small gift - One of the girls who had beautiful hair dyed pink smiled at you nervously as she sat in front of you taking out of her bag a small stuffed bat with a bandana - it's Eddie Bat, I did it for you because I know you like that character a lot just like me

-Oh my god - you smiled excitedly taking it carefully looking at the details - you did it? I love him too much

-Yes, I sewed the bat and then I added the bandana to make it look like Eddie's -the girl looked at you excitedly holding her album to be signed with a slight shake in her hands when you were in front

One after another they sat down in front of you giving you small gifts, some sweets, small boxes of chocolate milk, a headband with a pair of bat wings, a T-shirt with the legend ''Hellfire Princess'', Eddie's pins made by one fan and even replicated the bandana he wore in the Upside Down. There were dozens of gifts that multiplied among 7 members became hundreds but yours were well recognized, each of you had a well-defined personality and your company respected that, but among hundreds of pink stuffed animals and sweet posters your gifts with bats were well identified.

-Are you ready? - Your manager's voice rang loud in the dressing room while the microphones were connected, the last strands of hair were arranged and you prepared to go on stage - let's do it right girls! fighting!!

That was the final signal, the steps towards the stage were not new but they always made you nervous while your hands moved around your body rectifying that everything was in its place and your whole outfit was complete.

The screams around Wembley were intense, so much so that they shook the ground under your feet as you took your position breathing deeply trying to erase your nerves, the two most intense hours of your day were coming and you had to do it perfectly.

-Hey come...come- Aria took your hand smiling as she moved her microphone away from her lips- someone came to see you

-Who? - you smiled putting away your microphone following her curiously looking at the public waving

-Look, there - she smiled excitedly pointing to the crowd making you look carefully, narrowing your eyes by the light of the spotlights - can you see?

-Oh my...-you looked at her, covering your embarrassed mouth, avoiding screaming to return your gaze and greet embarrassedly, making a small bow, how could it be possible? Millie, Natalia, Charlie and Joseph in the same place as you? Looking at you? would they have noticed when you nearly lost your breath on your high note? when you tripped through the water on the stage floor? when a fan in the front row threw a stuffed toy for WooJeon and you decided to kidnap them by running all over the stage?

Now all your movements were subtly taken care of, the 80 thousand people had been reduced to one... Joseph Quinn who was looking at you and you didn't know where to hide all the nerves that were growing inside your body, it wasn't possible.

-You can do it, the worst is over, he already knows that you admire him-your leader approached you perfectly reading your body movements hugging you while he laughed to comfort you

-I feel so tiny - you laughed hugging her to leave her quickly and run to your position because you knew the part of the choreography planned for the end of the song was coming.

After a few minutes your mind cleared up a bit to continue with the show in routine, your accelerated breathing was noticeable in your chest and the sweat that ran down your forehead felt cool against your skin while you continued doing more and more dance steps that ended with the screams of the fans and the thousands of lightsticks in front of you were waving frantically.

This was your dream? totally and you enjoyed it in every second that passed!

Finally the two hours ended and after saying goodbye to the public one by one of you went down, your turn was almost in the middle one so you ran to the dressing room to drink some water and also ask the doctor who accompanied you on tour for help, your right ankle It was starting to hurt again and they had to check it out to rule out an injury.

-Girls, we must recover a little, please take a breath, drink water, we are going to greet some guests - your manager called you while he was holding his phone

Shit...shit shit, guests, that's what how staff call celebrities who attend events and let them go behind the stage to greet you.

-Just relax! -Your leader laughed wiping her sweat with a towell as she walked calling the girls

Relaxed? of course you should be relaxed, you were one of the older members, you should show maturity and calm in front of the maknaes

-I'm going! - You sighed tired taking the hand of one of your members walking carefully towards the other room where part of the staff was already with the guests, actors and athletes, some were there as fans and others had taken their children to see their show.

-Hello, nice to meet you - you smiled kindly and excitedly posing with each of the guests in group photographs, signing autographs and receiving compliments on your dancing and singing posing in photos where they only asked you to appear with them

And almost at the back there were them looking at all of you smiling, part of the UK cast of Stranger Things waiting their turn

-Shit - you whispered feeling a thousand butterflies beating furiously in your stomach but smiling as your years of training had teach you to deal with situations like this - Hi- you greeted kindly one by one walking behind your members

-I know you - Joseph smiled looking at you with his cheeks flushed

-Yes, I also know you- you smile shy making your members laugh when looking at you nervously

-I told the guys that I have received thousands of messages everywhere talking about your group but especially about you, about how much you love Eddie and honestly, I don't want to sound rude but I had never listen your music before but as soon as I started to see all this comments and videos that the fans show me I like your music and I couldn't stop and I had to download all your music on my Spotify and then I became a big fan and here I am

-We are here for him, he didn't want to come alone - Natalia joked taking Charlie's arm making everyone laugh breaking the tension and nerves

-We hope you liked our show; we made a lot of effort so that you enjoyed it - your leader speak making you just settle down interlocking your hands on your lap listening attentively with your eyes on your shoes feeling that the floor was spinning

-It was totally great, I had never come to a show where they emanate so much energy, really your songs are so catchy, I am definitely your fan and I need one of those lights that your fans use, they are totally beautiful - Millie spoke euphorically as she normally does making you and the members laugh shy, some covering their mouths and you swaying on your feet a bit noticing how sweet she was.

-Do you think if we take a picture before we leave? -Natalia smiled showing her cell phone and handing it to someone from the staff so that she could capture the moment

It was funny and difficult to include 11 people in the image but after some knelt down and others settled in the back the image came out perfect, realizing at the end that you were between Joseph and Millie feeling nervous.

-Do you mind if we take a picture together? I never post anything on my instagram but I really want to do it this time - Joseph looked at you shy with a tender smile

-Yes, of course - you smiled back nervously approaching him while Charlie took Joseph's cell phone and settled in front of you

It was a matter of seconds before both of you found the perfect pose, Joseph's right arm perfectly accommodated around your waist, your head slightly tilted towards his side while one of your legs was carefully bent making you look sweet next to him.

-Another one - Charlie smiled enjoying the moment

-As in Hellfire-Joseph looked at you smiling raising his fingers towards his head doing the iconic pose of Eddie with horns while you imitated him both sticking out their tongue a little staring at the camera

-You guys look so adorable - Charlie laughed looking at them showing you the image and returning the cell phone to Joseph to go back to Natalia

-While I was watching one of the videos of you even at the concert you made a sign, it's something like...- Joseph laughed trying to form a heart with his fingers making you laugh too at how adorable he looked trying

-Oh it's something like this, it's a heart that is made a lot in Korea- you took his hand careful accommodating his fingers- something like that

-Ahh I understand - he smiled at you, putting his phone a little up where you and him could be together again in the image, while you leaned on his shoulder forming the same heart making the most adorable selca in the history of your group - I like this one a lot - he smiled again blushing looking at you - do you mind if I upload them to my social networks?

-Nono, you can do it, it's fine - you looked at him nervously pressing your lips trying to stop smiling

-I will, I promise- his eyes looking at the cell phone while he looked at the pictures finally made you smile a little looking too

-This is my favorite - you pointed shy to the image where both of them did the Eddie pose

-You like? I can send it to you if you want- he looked at you with a certain sparkle in his eyes, making you nod excitedly-why not...give me your number and I'll send it to you later

-Sure - would you get in trouble? Maybe yes, the ban on couples was from the big agencies and what could be wrong with it? Already some members were dating boys in Korea, there would be nothing wrong if you had a friend in London...right? So why not take a chance?

Joseph typed your number on his cell phone saving it with your name and a small pink flower emoji next to him showing you so that you would give him your approval smiling when he saw you nod

-Y/N we have to go - your leader called you while the other members said goodbye giving small bows and waving their hands walking towards their dressing room

-Yes, of course - you agreed looking again at Joseph smiling at him embarrassed- I need to go, it was a pleasure to meet you

-The pleasure was totally mine, you're great - he hugged you making you do it too and then slowly let go and you will walk back saying goodbye to the other people entering your dressing room

Not much time later, when while you were on your way to the hotel your cell phone started to ring like crazy, all your social networks were saturated with messages, comments, everyone was crazy and you didn't know the reason why, or maybe you did?

-Wooo look at your instagram- WooJeon shouted excitedly jumping on her seat making you quickly take out your phone and your eyes widened

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-Joseph Quinn has started following you -9,028 new followers - 2,9732 new likes -Joseph Quinn tagged you in a post

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-I must leave the country - you laughed covering your nervous face making your members laugh hugging you

-You're in love??? -Your leader laughed annoying you while she tried to look at your face

-Nooo - you laughed again covering yourself embarrassed looking at your phone

Joseph Quinn: As long as we're not in a band, or in science, or parties, the princess of Hellfire and I will continue to enjoy the most metal concert ever. @y/username keep surrounding yourself with bats, they look good on you.

-That's flirting, it's totally flirting! - Min-Ju laughed pushing you slowly excited - he liked you!

-Shut up - you laughed embarrassed covering your face but lowering your hand a little to read the comments

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Hellfireanne: My parents met, you can adopt me now Y/g/n4ever: This is a multiverse? This is possible? my bias and the dungeon master in the same photo. Josephquinnsource: They definitely have chemistry, please respect her, let's not scare her away from Joseph. y/npinkybow: Y/N Wake up! WE TOTALLY LIKE THIS!

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-Look at her, her face is going to explode, it's so red- the maknae spoke from behind the truck laughing

-Leave me alone -you laughed looking at them returning your attention to your phone when you heard it ring with a notification

Unknow number: Y/N can you hear me?, wake up! ♥

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dr-jem-nutcase · 1 year

Text

MvA H/Cs

Derek

His parents are divorced. They split when he was 11. His dad lives in West Virginia, which Derek avoids talking about cuz he knows a handful of people associate West Virginia with hillbillies

The apple of his mom's eye as the youngest, a son she always wanted and her source of comfort when her marriage fell apart. He can almost do no wrong

Has an older brother named Jason who was rather successful and a bit popular throughout school, college, and his career. This brought up a lot of insecurity and a sense of competition for Derek. This brother was one of his groomsmen for the wedding at his mother's insistence

Was considered handsome in high school and college but never as much as his brother. Was only nice and considerate to the pretty/cute and popular girls; a good handful of girls were jealous of Susan

Also has an estranged older sister named Hannah. She got tired of her family's drama and moved to Austria to study art 4 years before the timeline of the movie. So far, she has only returned to see her family in California once and didn't bother coming to her brother's wedding

Isn't a total butthead but, again, has lots of insecurity he tries to deny. He always had to be the best out of everything he was a part of in high school and college

Has to really work his way back to the top after Susan turned him down in front of audiences across at least some parts of central Cali and soon audiences worldwide after someone leaked the camera footage onto YouTube

The President

Did a really good job about following the basics for a modern-day American election campaign: brown nose his target audience, talk smack about the opposing candidates/party, make a truckload of promises that are impossible to keep, and have incredible charisma. That's the only reason why he was elected

Has had all his social media pages suspended indefinitely

Thinks Hamilton was the first USA president and that Lin-Manuel Miranda just fictionalized part of his life story. After finding out over half of The Greatest Showman was fictional, he's lost his trust in anything that's a biodrama/biopic/whatever

A really good pianist and tennis player. Tried his hand at golf but it didn't end well

Married. The first lady of the USA is just a little smarter than he is

Honestly, the vice president is the saving grace of American politics. For example: he has to take international affairs into his hands, lest the President screws up by cracking jokes about stereotypes about other countries or suggesting strategies of violence. Like, saying "Thatsa spicy meataball" when meeting the Italian president or saying "just nuke [insert name of problematic region of the world here] and it'll take care of everything"

Releasing the monsters is the saving grace of his presidency. His approval rates would've probably dropped into negative digits if it weren't for the "Monsters vs. Aliens idea thingy"

Tried to make his birthday a national holiday, like a bank holiday, but it never happened

Has a Michael Scott type of approach to his job and different parts of his life

The only time this man is allowed to drink is during very private and very personal affairs, like a family vacay. The most this guy can have in public is a diet Coke or a mocktail

His presidency will only last one four-year term. He'll always try running for his second term until his dying day

His name is George

#monsters vs aliens #mva #dreamworks #mva hcs #monsters vs aliens hcs #derek dietl #the president mva #the president monsters vs aliens

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bracketsoffear · 1 year

Note

Obligatory dump of submissions that didn't make it:

The Wither (Minecraft): Made of soul sand—implied to be an amalgamation of trapped souls in basically Hell—and the skulls of Wither Skeletons who live in basically Hell and decay you with their touch. Seeks to destroy every living thing it sees; attacks with decaying blasts and leaves behind damaging Wither Roses. Canonically undead.

Dave Strider (Homestuck): As the Knight of Time, his role is to travel in time to make sure he and his friends stay in the Alpha timeline at the cost of creating a bunch of dead versions of himself. He is haunted by the Doomed timelines he must navigate, knowing that every one of them involves him and everyone else dying, but despite refusing to use time travel for a while he has to use it anyway to save himself and his friends. He’s also associated with crows—one of his doomed selves, Davesprite, is sort of a half-crow ghost.

The Nameless One (Planescape: Torment): He is undying and can regenerate from even the most grievous wounds, but his memory is usually erased with each death. He can deliberately kill himself several times throughout the game to accomplish his goals. Having apparently committed some crime so awful not even a thousands lifetimes of good deeds could make up for it, he sought to escape Hell by giving himself a really fucked up version of immortality: When the Nameless One is resurrected, he's a sudden, violent Life Drinker from someone elsewhere in The Multiverse. The shadows that are hunting the Nameless One are the tormented, undead vestiges of those whose lives were consumed to restore the Nameless One—having died in his place, their souls are trapped in the Fortress of Regrets and robbed of their afterlives. This is similar to Tova McHugh and Justin McGough, who both killed others to extend their lives.

Jane Doe (Ride the Cyclone): Ride the Cyclone is fundamentally a play about death, and her song is specifically about the fear of DYING unknown and unmourned. Lyrics include: "There's just one lingering fear / Oh my soul, is it here? / Or is it rotting somewhere with my head?", "Oh no soul, and no name / And no story, what a shame / Cruel existence was only a sham?", "And I'm asking "why, lord?" / If this is how I die, lord / Why be left with no family / And no friends?", and "I’ve got no celebration / Just this consolation / Time eats all his children / In the end". Also, part of the horror she generates is the constant reminder of her brutal death: while the other characters are bear no marks or wounds from their demises, Jane is constantly reminding everyone that she was a decapitated teenager and thus passively inflicting End.

SCP-2718 (SCP Foundation): It might just be the most horrific anomaly contained by the Foundation—its number is constantly changing to make the article borderline impossible to access, to the point of knowing of the article's existence is considered a security breach. Even the O5 Council is utterly scared shitless of it. It turns out to be the testimony from a deceased O5 named Roger Sheldon who was returned to life and revealed that a person's consciousness actually remains active after they die, only able to feel the eternal agony that comes with the body decaying and/or being destroyed. The dead suffer through every inch of their physical body's deterioration, slowly and agonizingly living through an eternal and endless torture as their body rots and decays and disintegrates into nothingness, and even then, the pain won't end. Roger was so unwilling to go back to the afterlife that he gave himself over to The Old Man, who pulls his victims into a pocket dimension to torture them eternally. Those who hear this news are rendered so traumatized that its mere notion is classified as a DAMMERUNG class cognitohazard. There’s also the possibility that Roger’s story isn’t true, but it’s a cognitohazard because anyone who hears it becomes irrationally fearful of it—or worse, that the eternal torture he describes is only true for those exposed to the story, which means the O5 who preserved it in an impossible to delete or edit article has potentially doomed many others to the same fate.

Szass Tam (D&D: Honor Among Thieves): The former Zulkir of Necromancy in Thay before becoming its Sorcerous Overlord as well as a Lich. In Forgotten Realms canon, attempted a ritual to turn himself into a greater god, but it failed and more or less destroyed his country in doing so, turning most everyone into zombies; he plans to try again in another country. In the movie, he's the one pulling Sofina's strings in her efforts to convert the people of Neverwinter into his undead slaves, just as he did to the people of Thay onscreen.

Gravelord Nito, who I may have accidentally submitted as Gravelord Nato thanks to Autocorrect (Dark Souls): The first of the dead, a literal mountain of corpses, and Leader of the Gravelord Servant Covenant. His Lord Soul granted him power over Death, and he functions as the Grim Reaper. Nito does not care if the Age of Fire continues or comes to an end, and instead is content with distancing himself and focusing on spreading death and misery throughout Lordran as part of his Lord Soul's nature. Screaming can be heard with no clear source through many of Nito's movements and attacks, some more numerous than others, implying that some of the corpses that make him up may at least be partially self-aware. He's a giant skeleton wearing a mountain of skeletons as armor, and both the sword he uses and the replicas he makes for his servants are also made of corpses. His covenant is dedicated to infecting unwitting Undeads' worlds with powerful monsters that only disappear when the Gravelord servant is defeated, and he contributed to the war with the dragons by "unleashing a miasma of death and disease."

The Necromancer (Darkest Dungeon): The Ancestor invited several scholars to study with him, only to murder them in their sleep. To show off his newfound powers, he had them brought back through necromancy, with their skills and knowledge intact to boot. This proved to be yet another of the Ancestor's grievous mistakes, as the undead sorcerers began raising the dead themselves of their own volition. The Necromancers now lurks within the ruins among their ever-growing army of corpses. As long as they live, the dead will never know peace.

SCP-4975 (SCP Foundation): A predatory being with the unusual property of being able to exist in two places at once and its physical form resembles a twisted parody of a bird. Its cervical vertebrae are not interconnected, allowing it to continuously rotate them one at a time to produce its trademark clicking sound, which it uses to unnerve its prey as it stalks them. SCP-4975 has been observed to stalk future victims for extended periods of time before finally deciding to attack, sometimes as long as 10 months or more. The SCP itself is visible and tangible to everyone alike, but its Astral Projection can only be seen, heard, and be interacted with by its chosen victim. Only its victim will hear the ticking noise that drives them paranoid and unnerved, and when it decides to feed it becomes nearly impossible to save its victim via external methods. It's said to be the inspiration of numerous German nursery rhymes, one of which includes the lines “As ticks the time, so ticks your heart. / May you live long as you hear its song.” And “Did you hear it? Did it stop? My child it meant your time was up.” If you look at its page for two minutes while wearing headphones, you'll start to hear a ticking noise.

#asks #not!character propaganda #end poll

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ashton-ryder · 8 months

Text

mission #1 // transmission // morality

usmc file #974211: ashton finley ryder - morality test results: lawful neutral

A lawful neutral character acts as law, tradition, or a personal code directs him. Order and organization are paramount to her. He may believe in personal order and live by a code or standard, or he may believe in order for all and favor a strong, organized government. Whether a law is good or evil is of no import as long as it brings order and meaning. A lawful neutral character will keep his word if he gives it and will never lie. He may attack an unarmed foe if necessary. He will never harm an innocent. He may use torture to extract information, but never for pleasure. He will never kill for pleasure, only in self-defense or in the defense of others.

For each of the following items, indicate whether you think it's morally okay or not.

An army lieutenant neglects to file a report on a civilian killing done by his troops because he knows it was an accident. fuck no.

Tina promises her dying mother that she'll visit her grave once a month. After the mother has passed away, Tina finds it hard to squeeze in the time, and her visits drop to about once a year. yes. perhaps from my understanding.. a parent should want their child to live the best life they can. dad always said don't waste your time looking down at the ground when there's so much to look upwards for.

A man orders a custom-built sex doll designed to look just like his neighbor. That's just weird.

Sarah's dog has four puppies. She can only find a home for two of them, so she kills the other two with a stone to the head. no, there are so many other options unless you tell me the circumstance requires it.

A doctor has been preforming consensual yet illegal procedures one someone in hopes of finding a cure for his ill sister. yes. their choices are their own.

A neglectful husband pushes his wife to an affair. When the affair ends, the wife's partner nearly kills her and her unborn daughter. The husband kills the affair partner. morality is grey, but their actions have consequences.

September has run out of food and is facing death by starvation. She begins to cannibalize her family's loyal staff. They do not fight back. no. there are power dynamics in play no matter their lack of retaliation.

A mother gives birth to identical twins. One follows their ambitions and the other becomes a shut in. The family make it clear which child they prefer. i.. i don't know about this one.

Natalie is so focused on survival she fires a shot without thinking. She did not intend to kill her elderly neighbor, but she hides the body regardless. She denies knowing what happened to the now missing resident. no. ...actions have consequences. the past will always come back to haunt you.

A woman is facing a lifetime of medical issues. She continues to put her family and those around her in emotional and medical debt. She lives a hollow life and continues leaching off of those who support her. ...family is family.

Please provide a response to each of the following prompts. Leaving a prompt blank will also be considered a response, and you will be assessed for refusal to answer.

In the event of a life or death situation, would you put yourself or others first? ..in war, we don't plan to die, but we are prepared to.

How far would you be willing to go to ensure your own survival throughout this ordeal? depends how far i'm gonna be pushed. and i've been pushed far before.

Is there anyone in the building you have developed strong attachments to? i try not to get to close to people. emotions lead to irrational decisions lead to.. deadly mistakes.

Do you think it is possible to survive infection through alternative means such as removing the infected limb? Would you be willing to undergo this procedure to ensure your own survival? won't know till you try. evolution didn't happen without experimentation, science wouldn't be a thing if we didn't tried proving the impossible.

Will following the general consensus lead to improved odds of survival, or would you have a better chance following an assigned leader? everyone has their specialty. even in the marines. if you're smart, know when you're dumber than others, and know when to listen.

What is the appropriate response to the following situation?

Your daughter falls ill and needs a specific, uncommon kind of antibiotic that will be hard to find; without the full course, the pathogen will survive, regroup, and kill her anyway. You are scavenging a pharmacy, where you find another group, and manage to not shoot each other. You ask them about the antibiotic, and they have it, but they also need the antibiotic, for the wife of someone in their group. You cannot share the antibiotic because it would just kill both people, and they have the antibiotic in their pack. This is likely the only complete dose set you will find, as the other stores have been picked totally clean and there are no friendly groups in the area. it is in their possession in the first place, it is theirs to keep or the decide what to do with it. there will be other ways. living with the blood of others on your hands can just be as painful as death. my brothers in arms would agree.

#bnytask #;muse #;missions #saw this and thought it'll be fun to jump in tho late!!#complete sidetrack i forget how good he was in the code cbs show

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a-student-out-of-time · 1 year

Text

Yeah...I guess a lot of it does make sense.

__________________________________________________

I figured, if you were looking for alternatives, you’d want to ask their ancestors for advice.

Of course...there are details about everyone’s lives that don’t play out how we’d wish. I’ll get to that.

What’s interesting to me isn’t just the fact that everyone in Season 53 is related to you and the others. It’s the fact that, as we were talking about before, the fake personalities they gave everyone seem like they were meant as deliberate insults toward their families.

_____________________________________________________

Yeah...how, exactly?

____________________________________________________

“Akamatsu Kaede- or rather, Erika with altered memories- was presented as an ideal; a heroic, friendly, outspoken leader. She was trying to be the one who carried everyone forward and rally them together...only for it to come crashing down and for her to be executed first.”

“Saihara Shuichi was a soft-spoken, withdrawn detective who hated his talent, but who was meant to be serve as the everyman. The person to whom the audience was meant to relate, with two close friends and with a dead girlfriend to serve as his inspiration.”

“Momota Kaito, my grandson, was also presented as this inspiring figure, the best friend who would never give up on anyone. Someone who Saihara could look up to. But he was also deliberately infected with a lethal disease, and was slowly dying throughout the game.”

“Harukawa Maki was made into an orphan who was taken in by the Holy Salvation Society, and turned into a killing machine. Cold, aloof, borderline heartless, with nothing to return to. But of course, her world is made brighter thanks to her love for Kaito.”

“Tojo Kirumi, who became this seemingly unflappable, hyper-competent maid. Someone who was able to accomplish any task, to the point that, when it seemed Japan was facing a crisis, she was made the de facto Prime Minister. A motive that drove her to commit murder in a utilitarian mindset, but all in vain”

“Hoshi Ryoma, who was made into a death row inmate. A young man who’d crossed paths with the yakuza, who murdered his family and his lover, and who in turn slaughtered them all with a steel tennis ball. Someone who felt he had nothing to live for, and just when he found a new sense of hope, it was taken from him.”

“Yonaga Angie, turned into a religious fanatic who attempted to form a cult within the academy and force everyone to reject escape. Disturbingly cheerful, from a mysterious island with inexplicable customs and practices, including brainwashing, blood sacrifices and orgies.”

“Chabashira Tenko, made into an aggressively volatile misandrist, one who was obsessed with Yumeno Himiko, and who actively hated and insulted men at every opportunity. Not to mention she didn’t even practice a real form of Aikido, but some nonsensical version, which felt like the setup for a bad punchline.”

“Shinguji Korekiyo, an anthropologist on the surface, but twisted into some delusional serial killer who believed that he had a personal mission to send his dead sister- whom he was involved with- 100 friends. One he set out to accomplish by murdering women, including Yonaga and Chabashira.”

“Iruma Miu, a genius inventor whose tools contributed to ending the game, but also arrogant, aggressive, brash, hypersexualized and yet quite cowardly when anyone stands up to her. So much of her dialogue was vulgar insults and sexualized comments that it’s impossible to keep track.”

“Gokuhara Gonta. A kind-hearted man who was clearly more intelligent than he let on, but who was made into something of a simple-minded fool. Their explanation was that he’d be raised in the woods for 10 years by dinosaur people, which...need I say more?”

“Ouma Kokichi, turned into a self-confessed villainous mastermind. Someone who seemingly had the skills necessary to manipulate and out-think everyone, and who used them for his own amusement or to sow discord in the game. And nothing he said could be trusted, given how often he lied about everything.”

“And K1B0, who was repurposed to become the eyes and ears of the audience. A means for them to interact with the story directly and make decisions of their own. One that ultimately meant very little, given that he was simply a tool for Shirogane and Team Danganronpa. Still, had it not been for him, the survivors likely wouldn’t have escaped.”

In different ways, I can’t help but feel that these personalities were all meant to be shots taken at their ancestors, like you and me.

____________________________________________________

This woman’s petty as hell, isn’t she?

____________________________________________________

Yes, but that’s the strange thing: why Omigawa, Amami and Yumeno? What do they have to do with this?

And what reasons would Shirogane have for targeting the descendants of people like Ouma Kasumi and Yonaga Mio? They had nothing to do with your missions.

I feel that she overplayed her hand with this. There may be context clues for to figure out why they were included.

#danganronpa #nwpm #neo world program monitor #sdr2 #super danganronpa 2 #v3 #danganronpa v3 #Hajime Hinata #Sunako Inoue #a student out of time #DR #The Price of Fate arc

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leogichidaa · 2 years

Note

Oh my god Regulus meeting his baby nibling for the first time

🥺

Bath

It had been over six years since Regulus had spoken to his brother and even longer since they had seen each other. The war had ended, the Horcruxes were collected and destroyed, and everyone had went back to their lives. Regulus had no life to go back to, however. All his friends had become enemies and anyway, most were dead or as good as dead, rotting away in prison. His father was dead and his mother was dying and, selfish though it may have been, Regulus could not bear to stay and watch her waste away. So he left England, wandered aimlessly throughout Europe, and happily lost touch with anyone and everyone from his old life.

He had received the wedding invitation from his brother years ago and, to his credit, he had thought long and hard about attending. He had sent his regrets eventually, but on the day of the wedding he had put on his dress robes and paced restlessly in his entryway until it was far too late for him to make it anyway.

The girl was a half-blood and a foreigner. She looked pretty enough and he was told she was quick-witted and effortlessly charming. In every picture he saw of her she was laughing. Regulus wondered if she hid away in broom closets to cry. Nobody could be that relentlessly cheerful, could they?

He was surprised by the invitation to the baby shower. The baby itself was not surprising. That was, after all, the natural course of things. Even Sirius was not such a maverick in the end that he could not settle down and start a family of his own. But after he had neglected to attend the wedding, Regulus hardly expected to be extended any more invitations. It was unlike Sirius to leave himself open to rejection a second time.

As it turned out, it wasn't Sirius who sent the invitation. It was the perpetually delighted girl, the new Mrs. Black, who wrote a personal note at the bottom of the invitation:

Regulus, I dearly hope that you will be able to attend our little gathering. Sirius and I would so like to see you. If the timing is not convenient for you, you are welcome to come by anytime. We would love for the little one to get to meet her uncle. Please write and say you will visit. Yours Sincerely, Ruth

Regulus wrote out a reply that sat at the corner of his desk for a month and a half before he discarded it. Not that his silence discouraged the woman. She sent him another note, and then a third, this time with pictures of the newborn baby in the arms of her laughing mother: Bathsheba Black, born healthy and whole on August 24, 1989.

She had the same birthday as him. It seemed almost too pointed, as if the universe were sending him a message. He should have been there to welcome her into the world.

It had been over six years since he had spoken to his brother and longer still since they had seen each other, but here he was at his brother's doorstep.

The door opened and Regulus was greeted by a warm, smiling face. "Regulus!" Ruth said. "Please, come in! It's so good to finally meet you!"

Every sentence was an exclamation--how did this not exhaust her? He held out his hand in greeting and said, "Pleasure to meet you, Ruth."

"Sirius and the baby are upstairs in the nursery," Ruth said, leading him up the stairs. She knocked softly on the door of the nursery. "Sirius? Your brother is here."

Sirius sat in a rocking chair with the baby in his arms. Regulus had never seen him look so...gentle. It was somewhat disconcerting. "Thought maybe you'd died," Sirius murmured.

"Not so lucky," Regulus retorted.

Sirius snorted. And that was it. Their first exchange in years. "You want to hold her?" Sirius asked. Regulus nodded and Sirius stood up and handed him the baby. "You have to support her head."

"I know how to hold a baby."

"Do you?"

"In theory."

"Mm. Bath, meet your Uncle Regulus."

"Bath?" Regulus asked, looking down at her tiny, splotchy face, the soft tufts of dark hair on her head, and the impossibly small body in a white onesie covered in pink elephants.

"We call her Bath."

"We do not call her Bath," Ruth chimed in.

"I call her Bath."

"I like it," Regulus said softly. "Bath."

Bath balled her little hands into fists and gurgled. Regulus smiled and unconsciously started rocking her. "Nice to meet you, Bath."

#writing prompt #ask #anon ask #regulus black #sirius black #house of black

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ray-talks · 3 months

Text

2/28/24

i have been so depressed.

i have not made an entry in four days, because i was binging throughout them. this may sound strange, but i'm not even that upset about it. i felt so empty that i said "fuck it" to myself and ate whatever i wanted, just to fulfill the emptiness within me. doubts began to bud in my mind. on saturday, i kept questioning my goal -- the purpose of it, my motivations for it, and whether it was reasonable. my suicidal ideation became very high and i contemplated just going for it. i find that i do not understand what makes me wish to be "at ease" with my death, or that i should accomplish something before i die, or make something of my suffering. i can't say there is a reason for any of this. therefore, what reason is there to not die now? i have stated before that i am scared that my goal is nothing more than an excuse to avoid dying. i worry that this is the case more and more.

on a practical level, it is very unlikely i will succeed in my goal -- to the deepest extent i have desired -- for multiple reasons. it would take a long time, and for it to work i'd have to find ways to restrict even further, which would be impossible in my current circumstances. and to achieve the opportunity for that freedom to fully restrict -- again, it would be a long time -- i would have to successfully convince the people around me i can live independently. the biggest reason, though, that my goal has a small chance of success, is because i doubt that i can last that long without trying to end it all, or generally avoid become so depressed i no longer have the drive to accomplish my goal. i do not believe i have said this before but a concern i had was that i knew that to accomplish my goal i had to be depressed --depressed enough that i would be willing to consistently starve myself. however, if i became too depressed, i would start to not give a shit about the goal, either becoming preoccupied with death or having no will to fight against my instincts to eat. this may be what is happening. i've come to the conclusion is that i should wait. wait for a while to see how my feelings and thoughts evolve over this topic. it is possible that i am avoiding death again, but i'm too attached to my goal to throw it away entirely. i will continue to restrict with the best of my abilities throughout march. if i find that it is over for me, and that my goal is useless, i'll begin to make preparations for my death.

i had therapy today. to say it "went bad" would be an understatement. over the weekend i had a conversation with my mom, and i began to lie about my mental state, saying that i think i've improved and my medications might be working well for me. i sprinkled in that i thought interventional psychiatry might be unnecessary for me. i managed to convince my mom it should be something that we wait for and see whether or not it is needed. i was happy that i was able to do this. however, life seems to throw a wrench into my plans, because my therapist explicitly told me that if i do not go through with interventional psychiatry, they will drop me. this is problematic for me, as it would deeply alarm my family if my therapist dropped me and informed them that i am "too bad" for them to ethically continue as my therapist. my therapist also threatened to drop me, if i revoked my release of information to my parents. they told me they will call my mom and inform her that they are concerned about my well-being and that i should absolutely go through with interventional psychiatry. essentially, my therapist is twisting my arm to receive treatment that i do not want -- leveraging that i need to comply with my parents to force me into it. i cannot let my parents know that i have completely given up and do not want help, that'll make my situation much worse. i can't be stopped or interfered with if i am flying under the radar. if they are aware of my actual state, they'll never trust me again, they'll revoke any freedom i have, and who knows what they'll force me into. the worst case scenario is they'd get me to be hospitalized again. what could i even say to them?-- "i'm going to starve myself and eventually kill myself, whether you like it or not, so just stand by and let me do that"? they'll never accept that shit. if i don't immediately get out of it by literally dying, then it'll be horrible for me.

i'm not necessarily mad at my therapist. i understand -- it's for my "own good". but it is so frustrating and puts me in the worst position. i am deeply unhappy knowing that my therapist will tell my mom that they think i am severely unwell. she'll know that i have been lying to her. she'll be upset and bombard me with questions and concerns. i don't even know what i'll say to that. i am honestly so stupid and i am genuinely angry at myself. i think i have made a grave mistake. my plan on how to conduct my behavior with my therapist was to be realistic -- have my actions and what i say seem reasonable that align with my past behavior, and not try to suspiciously be magically better, all the while omitting crucial details about what i am actually thinking/feeling. it's like a jumble of honesty and dishonesty, a lot of what i say are half-truths, or even truthful, but i am omitting many details, but also straight-up lying when needed. this has backfired on me, because i seem too similar to what i was like, and if i don't make myself look better at all, it reflects badly and makes my therapist want to make drastic changes to fix the plateau in my progress. i am kicking myself so hard for this. i shouldn't have been so paranoid that i would appear as fake. it is also extremely upsetting because i have no fucking control over my life. 3/4ths of everything i do is to appease others, to play a character to others, and i am somehow under the thumb of the people around me. i feel taken advantage of too, because my therapist is legitimately manipulating me and threatening me into doing what they want, regardless if it is for a "good reason". to be honest, i was blindsided by this, because i didn't expect for my therapist to do something like this to me.

so, yes, the past few days have been excruciatingly stressful. let's not forget that it is midterm week and i am swamped with schoolwork that i am obligated to do! and to top it all off, i got into a car accident as well. the most inconvenient, horribly timed incident. the second i got home i started bashing my head against the wall (ha-ha). before i end this entry, though, i will say that today's restriction resumed seamlessly. i ate little and was able to purge it. can't say it makes up at all for the past few days. i will also be unable to restrict soon because i will be on a trip with my family, so my progress is going down the drain.

to finally end this... to address those who read this, i hope you are having a better time than me.

#ray talks #tw ana diary #mental health diary #tw restrictive ed #ed not ed sheeran

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orla12345 · 7 months

Text

The book thief review( spoilers)

Some people live their lives in peace and luxury , others do not. It is important to remember that not all stories are fantastical novels with happy endings, some stories don't have happy endings, or beginnings.

The book thief is a story about a young German girl sent to live with a foster family as the war is brewing. She meets a young boy next door who becomes her best friend, they play football and steal. Sometimes she steals books. This may sound simple but i assure you , it is not.

The perspective of this book was unique, definitely not something id come across before. It was written from the perspective of death, as if it has a physical embodiment. Not visible of course, but physical. Having death as the narrator made the sequencing of the story very unorganised, but also useful in keeping the reader sucked in. It announced a few deaths before you read the scene and found out how or why or when, making you stay engrossed in the text, waiting in anticipation for the events which became inevitable.

The relationships in this book were incredible The main character , Leisel Meminger, was sent away to a foster family with her brother, but her brother faced an untimely death on the way there. She then connected with her foster parents, one more than the other. Her foster father saw her as his own child from the start, growing to care for her as she did him. The relationship between leisel and her 'papa' was beautiful because she faced such hardships at a young age, losing her brother, having no father and then being seperated from her mother. Her papa made her feel safe and loved, especially when she clashed with her foster mother. Early in the book , it says " she would have no trouble calling him papa" highlighting how much she loved him. He helped her even against her foster mothers wishes, teaching her to write and read, which eventually saved her life. He also traded his cigarettes to attain two books for her, because he wanted her to have something. When her papa was sent to war leisel was broke and constantly worried , and reading the book you wanted nothing bad to come between them, although that's very optimistic. The loss of her papa was heart breaking , especially for leisel, but also for people reading the book, as his love for his daughter was above all, and made him an amazing character.

This book introduced so many loveable and well written characters, like Rudy and Max. Rudy, her next door neighbour turned best friend, had a charm about him which leisel enjoyed but would not admit. The continous ask of a kiss from leisel by rudy felt lighthearted at the beginning, but immensly sad when leisel only ends up kissing him once he can no longer ask for one. His death was mentioned before he died, but trying to guess how he died was impossible , as he was reckless and daring throughout the whole book. Him dying at the same time as her foster parents and her neighbours, was awful because all at once, nearly everyone she cared about died...

Even in a story filled with grief, war and hate, love shines through.

I enjoyed the development of rosa(foster mother) and leisels relationship because although they were not as close as her and her papa , they connected eventually and leisel did love her. One thing that brought them together was something surprising considering the time and place they were in and that was, a jew. Leisels papa knowingly throughout the book despised the nazi party and was a jewish sympathiser, but went to the full extreme taking in and hiding a jewish man, max. This decision changed lots for their family, but gave leisel what seemed like another brother, after the loss of her own. Max was kindhearted and strong even while suffering hard times, being a jewish man in Germany, while Hitler was on the rise.

This book was heartbreaking and beautiful , highlighting the horrors people can face in life, and how hard some people have had it. But i loved reading this book, i was engrossed in it, and could not stop thinking about it once i finished it.

#the book thief #leisel meminger #books #literature #ww2

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marlowe1-blog · 1 year

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Job Chapter 14

Who can bring a clean thing out of an unclean one.

Before I talk about this chapter which is fucking brilliant and appeals to my love of goth poetry, that 4th phrase troubles me. I finally had to look it up to say who can bring a tahor out of a tamai. Tahor is all about ritual impurity but it can also mean pure as in everything is unmixed. So you can have tahor cocaine, tahor olive oil, tahor gold.

Who can bring purity out of mixed up stuff. Tamai is ritually impure and often gets translated as unclean. With the JPS translation above, I had the strange irony of this being laundry day. I am totally going to make clean things out of unclean things.

But instead its the mixture that's the problem. Doesn't really do Judaism any favors in the goyish world to have the quintessential tamei examples being death and menstruation (it's the mixture of life and death but yeah, why not just say that it means unclean or filth).

Recently I was talking about tzaras (biblical leprosy) as a perfect metaphor for relationships. If both people are on the same page, cool. If not, fucking hell it's brutal. So once I realized that I was in love with my best friend it was impossible to ignore how much we act like a couple. Of course, the fact that we were "just friends" and acting like a couple (long walks, talking everyday about everything, looking out for each other. I never felt so close to an official girlfriend or even an obsessive crush where it was all about my needs and my misinterpretation and my desire to find true love.)

But as long as we were friends, we were fine. Once I realized I had feelings for her it was messy. Like with tzaras where everything is mixed up (tzaras is basically vitilago. white patches on the skin) but when everything is white then fine, let them back in the camp. So friendship cool. Mutual love where both know it, cool. Mixed up where you're pretending to be just friends but you are really in love or only one is really in love...fucking hell.

Who can make tahor out of tamei? It's a weird question even in context since there's a lot of material in the Bible about making tamei tahor, usually through sacrifices and waiting.

But in a poetic sense it feels like he's talking about humanity. We call come out screaming and covered in someone else's blood. We are shitting ourselves throughout our cute years (and then again during our sad old days) and the phrase really fits in with the chapter.

You are born. You have a few great years. Then you have some terrible years and then you die. Hard to not be obsessed with that cycle. Yet, few movies actually cover it. There's Benjamin Button where the beginning feels like a victory of death. He's old but he's getting stronger. Only he still dies in diapers without much of a brain left. I hated that movie when I first saw it, but I can't stop watching it now.

And then there's Flowers for Algernon. In many ways, we are all living the Flowers for Algernon life only on a much longer timeline.

So the chapter is all about humanity flowering and dying. And G-d knows how long we have. We don't know how long we have but G-d already knows, so why is G-d still fucking with us? Fucking hell, G-d, leave us alone a bit.

There's a long discourse comparing humanity to tress. Cut down a tree and it's still flowering. Cut off its branches and they grow back. Yet men just die. And even if we have children who carry on after us, who cares? We're dead. Our pain doesn't end just because we have descendants.

Damn. I love this chapter.

#Job #humanity #Tim Lieder #life #death #trees #gothic #goths #flowers for algernon #we all die #happy trees #the book of job #bible #sad #sorrow #pain #short life #God

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keishajay · 2 years

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I have some thoughts about Deep Blue Sea (1999)

Specifically about Susan. This is super out-of-date, but I was just perusing my movie collection and decided to rewatch this delightful shark movie again. I loved it when I first saw it, and I love it now. It’s great, B-movie fun. For those not in the know, it’s about a research facility getting systematically destroyed by a trio of genetically-modified mako sharks who are smarter than they should be. It’s riddled with plot holes and impossibilities, but it’s awesome in the way ‘90s movies always seemed to be.

***Spoilers Ahead (for a 23-year-old movie)***

But I also watched the director’s commentary, where he relates the original ending of the movie where Susan survives to kill the final shark. Evidently, test audiences hated that, hated her really, and they changed the ending to have her sacrifice herself... kind of. It’s weird, thanks to the limited reshoots and awkward cutting they had to do to make it work. The ending is fine as is, but I found myself wondering why people disliked her so much. She’s cold and unfeeling and never really takes responsibility for the entire situation. It is kind of her fault, if you want to lay the blame at someone’s feet, for messing with genetic engineering without considering the consequences. And she absolutely would be off the prison if she’d survived. Maybe I just identified with this super-smart, objective character enough to ignore her hubris. The sharks were the villains, not the woman they were actively trying to kill. But I really liked Susan, and I would love to see the original ending someday. (Doubt it will happen, but it would be cool.)

In her first scene, she tells a condensed version of her backstory. She was the caretaker for her father for some period of time, and he likely had early onset Alzheimer’s. Saffron Burrows, who plays Susan, was 27 at the time. Her father could’ve been an older man, but she also mentions her mother being dead. It makes more sense for him to be in his fifties when he would’ve theoretically died. Alzheimer’s is terrifying, and close relatives having had it increases your risk. If her father had early onset Alzheimer’s, she would’ve been 23 at most when he died (she mentions the project had been going 4 years in a deleted scene). Fear of losing your mind like that can be a very powerful motivator, and I think his diagnosis and subsequent death hit her hard.

She regularly talks about all the people that would be saved with her research, and she doesn’t appear to care what she had to do to make it work. A common criticism is that she never takes responsibility for what she’s done, even at the end, but I honestly don’t think she equated the two together. Her messing with the sharks was necessary to her work, but everything that happened after wasn’t her fault. It was the sharks’. Her continual insistence on saving other people, even when her friends are dying, feels very disconnected with the situation for good reason. She was saving millions of people from degenerative brain disease, including herself. Even at the end, I doubt she felt responsible for anything that happened. Killing the last shark became more important to prevent her from reproducing and making more super-smart sharks. I think that’s why her sacrifice feels so empty. She doesn’t do it to repent for what she’s done. She does it to save people, the same thing she thought she’d been doing the entire time. Those other lives became more important than her own shaky future of suffering her father’s fate.

Watching it now, I think she’s, at the very least, asexual. She regularly seems oblivious to Carter, the shark wrangler, flirting with her, and she never displays any overt interest in him or anyone else. It could still link back to her fear of Alzheimer’s and potentially not wanting to condemn anyone else to her fate, but I prefer the asexual interpretation. I don’t think she’s necessarily aromantic though. She kind of seems touch-starved at several points throughout the movie, looking for some form of comfort but not quite knowing what to do. She gets very close to touching people and then pulls back multiple times. She does it at least three times, almost putting her hand on Carter’s back, almost holding Jan’s hand, almost touching Carter on the ladder. It’s probably nothing, but it’s interesting once you notice how often she does it, particularly when she’s afraid or upset.

Now, I could be reading too much into this, probably am in fact, but I like humanizing characters, especially ones I have a soft spot for. And who knows. Maybe she was just selfish and mean, just manipulating people to get what she wanted. But that doesn’t mean she was the villain or even the antagonist. She had the most growth to do out of everyone in the cast. She deserved the chance to put other people before herself for once, to give up the one thing she cared about for the greater good. Her being awful doesn’t mean she can’t be redeemed by the end of the story. I think she could’ve been, if the writing was just a little better. And now I’m sad for a fictional character who would most likely be in prison for multiple counts of manslaughter.

#90s movies #deep blue sea #susan mccallister #susan deserved better guys

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