#but god I love writing and I need to write soooo badly

[phantom-does-a-thing]

phantom needs to REST phantom is in TIME OUT phantom needs a BREAK phantom cannot WRITE because phantom is getting BURNT OUT.

#shaking myself by the shoulders #I am in time out and I am not allowed to write #I am dissatisfied with my writing and that is a sign that I am getting burnt out #but god I love writing and I need to write soooo badly #rambling #phever dreams with phantom #liveblogs writing

[taintedcigs]

we’d still worship this love — e.m.

part two of even if it’s a false god.

pairing: modern!college!fboy eddie x fem!reader

warnings: smut!!!!!!, 18+, MINORS DNI. p in v, cr*ampie, unprotected s*x, angstangstangst, eddie regrets everything!!, jealous eddie, a bit of protective steve, drinking, swearing, praises, nicknames, fluff!!

summary: in which eddie regrets what he said to you. (wc:6.3k+)

a/n: literally the lyrics match up soooo well w the story imo im sorry for the last line ok i rlly tried to hold myself back not to directly write any lyrics lmao. this is CHEESY. i hate THE ENDING. as usual! but im so glad u guys liked pt. one and i didn't want to deprave any of u !!! i did not proof-read so pls ignore any mistakes!! hope u guys enjoy this lmk what u think mwah!!

Eddie sighed as he checked the kitchen, you were still nowhere to be found.

He had fucked up.

So badly.

He grabbed the half-empty red cup sitting on the kitchen stand. A whiff of alcohol hit his senses as soon as he tried to sniff it; it reeked, but Eddie didn’t care at this point, downing it like it was water.

He grabbed the pack of cigarettes sitting in his back pocket, walking miserably toward the backyard as he lit the cigarette sitting between his lips.

“Let’s get you to Steve’s, yeah?” The voice that passed by him was quick to grab his attention.

Robin.

“Robin?” He exclaimed excitedly, causing Robin to mouth “Don’t”.

He took a step to get closer to you but stopped quickly in his tracks; he had caused enough fucking damage.

He made his bed, and now he needed to lie in it.

He watched as you and Robin left, leaving him all alone. 

2 HOURS LATER

DON’T ANSWER: im so fuckhjing sorry

DON’T ANSWER: i didnt fuckingmeanit lije that i swear

DON’T ANSWER: pls talk to me

DON’T ANSWER: r u at steve? i can come

DON’T ANSWER: pleaseeeeee we can’t leave things like this. 

You heaved a sigh reading his texts, he was drunk again, and you weren’t going to entertain him.

You blocked this contact. 

“He’s texting me.” You groaned, chucking your phone away as you plopped yourself onto Steve’s bed.

“What did he say?” Steve asked curiously.

“He wants to see me and talk, he’s drunk again.” You replied curtly, head still filled with the words he uttered to you.

“I just… I can’t believe he’d say that.” Robin chimed in, shaking her head.

“I could. He’s an asshole.” You rolled your eyes.

“Yeah… but I always thought he had a soft spot for you.” Robin muttered.

You chuckled dryly. “He has a soft spot for my body.” You crinkled with disgust.

Robin shook her head as she spoke. “No, I mean it, Y/N… I really don’t believe he meant it like—” 

Steve was quick to interrupt. “Jesus, Robin, stop making excuses for him. I know he’s your friend and all, but he fucked up. And there’s nothing he can do now to ever take back the things he did to her!” He exclaimed, the two of them started bickering back and forth. 

You wanted to sink into the bed; you so badly wanted to believe Robin, believe that Eddie’s words were all just a lie, just something he made up on the spot just because he was afraid. 

But Steve was right—even if it was a lie, even if it was all a huge misunderstanding, nothing he could do would undo the amount of pain he caused you. The nights you spent sobbing—nothing could change that. 

But a part of you also knew that, if Eddie ever caught you in a moment of weakness again, you’d do it all over again; you’d let him ruin you all over again, just to have him complete you for the mere seconds he made you feel loved. 

The bickering and the storm in your mind stopped with a sudden knock on Steve’s door. 

The three of you looked at each other in unison.

Shit.

Did that stupid bastard really have the audacity to come here? 

You looked over at Steve with pity, about to open your mouth and beg, plead with him to do something, and he was quick to understand your train of thought. “I got this.” He muttered, hand squeezing your knee for comfort before he attended the door. 

As soon as the door swung open, there he was, blood-shot eyes and messy hair framing his face. He was shitfaced and could barely stand against the door frame. “Munson.” Steve affirmed sternly. 

“W—where is she?” Eddie slurred, barely even letting Steve speak. 

“She’s not here.” Steve said without letting Eddie take a look. 

“Look, man… I know she is, please—” He tried to push past him, but Steve stood his ground, blocking his way before his face turned cold. 

“She doesn’t want to see you.” Steve almost hissed, the intensity of his gaze taking Eddie back. 

“Don’t make this any harder and just leave, yeah?” Steve muttered, almost shutting the door before Eddie’s heavy boots interfered. 

“Please.” Eddie pleaded, making Steve huff as he threw a quick glance your way, and you quickly shook your head, mouthing ‘no’s.

But that was it; Eddie barged in as he used Steve’s distraction to his advantage, you gasped when the door swung open, revealing Eddie. 

He couldn't tear his eyes away from you, his gaze held guilt and relief. Guilty because of the fact that he uttered those words to you. But, relieved that he saw you, relieved that he could finally explain himself to you.

Yet you looked at him with such disgust that it ached his heart, putting on a heavy ache on his chest. Every breath he took now felt like a struggle. 

“Don’t!” You seethed when he took a step toward you, Steve was quick to jump to your defence, but you waved him off. 

“Leave.” You could feel your face grow hotter with rage each time you spoke, you didn’t want him here, you wanted him to disappear from the face of the earth. 

“I’m so fucking sorry.” That was all that left his lips, his eyes were glinting with sadness, and his bottom lip trembled with guilt. 

“You have the nerve… You have the fucking nerve.” You chuckled dryly, tongue rolling inside your cheek in anger. 

“Please... Let me just explain,” He slurred. 

His drunkenness made you more angry.

“I don’t want you to!” You hissed.  

“I told you, I’m fucking done, Munson.” You spoke calmly, tears were threatening to spill, but you held your ground. 

“One fucking minute, I swear—” You heaved a sigh, and another angry chuckle escaped from your throat as you looked at Steve, as if to tell him to kick him out, signaling for help. 

“Alright,” Steve muttered. “She doesn’t wanna talk, Munson.” He spoke calmly as he held Eddie’s arm, trying to drag him out. Eddie’s protests fell deaf on your ear as you plopped yourself on the bed again, crying into Steve’s sheets as Robin played with your hair to reassure you. 

1 MONTH LATER:

Thirty fucking days.

Eddie was going to lose his mind. 

Blocked from everywhere, and you avoided him like the plague.

He knew he deserved to be shut out; he knew he didn’t deserve you. But even crumbs of information from you would have eased him.

Steve and Robin had been useless, except for today. Except for that cryptic message Robin sent him about you being at the party today. And he praised his lucky stars for that.

Until he made it to the party.

Until he finally saw you.

With Mr. Jock pinning you against the wall as you giggled at his unfunny jokes.

Jesus fucking Christ. 

Don’t make a scene, Eddie. Don’t fucking make a scene—

His lips pressed together, jaw quick to clench as he couldn’t help the way he almost sprinted toward you. He didn’t know if it was out of pure jealousy, or the fact that he had missed you so goddamn much that he couldn’t stray away from you anymore. 

“Hi, honey.” Eddie said sarcastically and chirpily, jealousy dripped from his tone, and he couldn’t help the intense gaze he had on the asshole. 

You froze in your place as soon as you recognized the voice. What the fuck was he doing? 

Standing between the two of you, “Who’s this?” Eddie spat, his hand aggressively pointing toward him. 

You rolled your eyes before you turned to him. “Don’t,” You warned, your brows shooting up and a fiery flash apparent in your eyes. 

“Who are you?” He narrowed his eyes at Eddie, and as if Eddie had been waiting for him to provoke him further, he gave a smug smirk. Body turning to face the asshole.

You panicked, and the ever-so apparent tension in the air grew thicker “No one.” You replied quickly, avoiding Eddie’s lingering gaze. 

“Really? You’re gonna play that card, princess?” He gave you a dry chuckle, jealousy gnawed at his insides. 

You squeezed your eyes shut to save yourself from embarrassment, but he wasn’t going to stop until this jerk wasn’t at your side. 

“That’s not what you were saying the last time I saw you—” You were quick to cut him off with a warning gaze, your eyes widening. 

“Eddie… This—this is Ethan.” You said through gritted teeth. 

Eddie mocked a realization face, and you wanted to punch that smirk off of his stupid smug face. “Oh…” He laughed all-knowingly.

“That Ethan? The jock?” You narrowed your eyes, annoyance setting over your face, and you couldn’t handle the heat growing in your cheeks. 

This asshole. 

“I’m sorry, man.” He chuckled, giving Ethan a harsh slap on the shoulder, a slap that wasn’t friendly in the slightest bit—and you were sure now that the tension in the space the three of you shared could be cut through with a knife.

You cleared your throat to speak up, but Ethan did it before you. “What the fuck are you talkin’ about?”

This was the provocation Eddie needed, and you knew it; you saw that mischievous glint glimmer in his eyes. “Oh, just that she was telling me all about how fucking horrible you—”

You interrupted Eddie with a nervous giggle. “Sooo sorry! He’s just a bit drunk!” You gave Ethan a panicked smile. 

“I’ll see you around!” You called out, walking off while dragging Eddie as far away from him as possible with a harsh grip on his arm. 

You probably didn’t know what you were getting yourself into when you dragged him toward the closest empty room. 

“What the fuck?!?” You yelled into his face. 

He ignored your distress. “What are you doing with him?”

“None of your business.” You hissed.

“It is my business if you get with Mr Jock again.”

“I’m not getting with—” You lowered your voice mid-sentence, annoyance taking over. 

“What part of ‘I don’t want to fucking see you ever again’ don’t you understand?” You let out through gritted teeth, your face heating from anger. 

“Did you know…” He said, completely ignoring you, and you looked at him with the same angry expression, getting tired of his antics.

“When you get angry like that, a line crinkles on your forehead, and those sweet lips pout into a frown? You look so fuckin’ cute like that.” He murmured, leaning against the wall you trapped him into.

You let out an exasperated sigh, eyes rolling into the back of your head. “What the fuck is your problem?” You asked, brows furrowing. 

“What the hell do you want from me?” 

“You? I mean, eventually, I want to wake up with you every morning and fall asleep with you every night.” He smirked.

Fucking jerk.

You chuckled with an audible scoff. "Is this some kind of a joke?" You muttered under your breath, voice laced with irritation.

“You are so fucking irritating.” You spat, eyes narrowing. 

“Just… just—Leave me alone.” Your voice lowered, your face was coming closer to his, and all Eddie could think about was how nice it was to have you this close to him again, to feel your warmth again.

You could see it, the emotions his gaze held, but you didn’t want to fall for his antics again, so you turned quickly to leave.

“Please.” His pleading and his hold on your arm were what made you stop in your tracks. The way his voice cracked, you could hear the desperation. If only you didn’t care about him this fucking much…

“Please—just, hear me out.” He was almost begging, and you knew you should be running, you knew you shouldn’t care, not even to spit the venom inside of you that had been building since that night.

But you can’t help it. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You asked, words coming out in a sharp and biting tone as your anger escalated. 

“After what you said to me...” You looked at him with a piercing stare, your eyes practically emitting flashes of irritation.

“Do you have any fucking idea how much I can’t even stomach being around you?” Your nostrils flared with every breath you took. 

“In fact, I hate you.” You spat.

“You hate me?” He asked, inching closer toward you. 

“Yes!” You snapped. 

“Then show me.” He challenged. 

“W—what?” You stuttered, your confidence dissipating in a second as the room felt so fucking small when he was standing this close to you. 

Your guard was so thinly veiled that one fucking word from him was enough to shatter it.

And you knew, with one or two more pushes from him, you’d give in. You’d give in, regardless; you had missed him more than you would ever let him know. 

And you shouldn’t. You fucking shouldn’t.

“Take it out on me.” He whispered, gaze intentionally fixated on your lips. 

“You hate me, fine! One last time. Get me out of your system.” He’s so close to your face that when he leans in to whisper in your ear, you can feel his hot breath on your neck. 

He’s intoxicating—his endearing words, the jealousy, and the possessiveness—and you shouldn’t fucking fall for it. 

But it feels different this time; something is so fucking different about him that it’s throwing you off. The way his pretty lips frame the words is convincing. 

Making you believe that this would be the last time, making you believe that you could come clean off him if you had him just one more fucking time. 

You don’t say anything when you give in, your gaze lingering on his lips.

His eyes are quick to trace your face, admiring all of your features in awe, regret filling every vein in his body, knowing that this would be the last time. 

“You’re fucking beautiful,” he says roughly. He doesn’t let you respond, lets the petty comments die down your throat when he kisses you. 

Oh, Jesus, Fucking Christ. 

Your heart was pounding against your ribcage. There was something so bittersweet about the way he kissed you, knowing it was going to be the last. He twirled his tongue with yours, so needy and so fucking promising. 

Eddie knew you better than the back of his hand, so when you started whimpering against his lips, your knees giving out, he knew you didn’t want to waste any time. 

He guided you toward the bed, gentle as he had never been before. The two of you were slow to undress each other, savoring every fucking moment. 

He let you lead everything, going only at your pace and making sure everything was up to your desires, purely catering to you. 

You could sense it, see the difference in how intimate this was, compared to others where it was just senselessly fucking, this was passionate, and it was killing the two of you. 

Rather than just pushing into it, he kept his gaze on you, admiring the way your chest rose up and down as his calloused hands slid further down your body, nipples hardening when his hands stopped to ghost over your thighs. 

His other hand rested on your breasts, and he didn’t hesitate to latch his tongue on it, sucking while his other fingers toyed with your entrance. 

You mewled; you weren’t going to hold back. “Moremoremore.” 

But he didn’t move an inch.

That greedy bastard. 

“More,” You pleaded louder this time, growing impatient. 

Eddie looked at you with such hunger in his eyes that it had your core throbbing. “I’m gonna give you every fucking thing you need, honey.” He promised. 

“But I need… this. I need this memory of you engraved into my brain, forever.” He groaned, giving all of his attention to every part of your body. 

You were quick to nod, quick to oblige him, especially when he made you feel this fucking good. 

But you couldn’t help it, you needed him. Especially when he was everywhere, hands gliding all over your body, making you whimper with just his touch. 

And the way you looked at him was so fucking tempting that he was almost going to explode, you were pleading with your gaze, telling him to take you… fully. To make you his, one last fucking time. 

He could recognize the weight your gaze held, almost as if he understood your train of thought, he pressed his thumb further into your clit, circling around it as your core clenched on nothing. 

“Please,” You begged. 

“Such an impatient, baby,” He muttered into your skin, pushing past your folds as he earned a low groan from you.

“Missed those sweet noises,” He hummed, doing everything in his power to not pound into you right away, the way your cunt was gushing for him, the way you pleaded, Eddie was sure he’d burst if he had to wait more. 

With a tender touch, he tucked your hair back. “You have no clue how fuckin’ insane you make me.” He pressed a sloppy kiss, his hands were still working their way through your folds. 

“Each time I’m around you… it’s like I lose all my fuckin’ senses.” He slurred into your ear, his cock was straining his boxers, and you looked so fucking perfect beneath him, looking all fucked when he had barely touched. 

But you ignored it. Ignored every one of his words, you didn’t need his sappy shit; you didn’t need another reason to stay. 

You just needed to feel good. 

“Please, fuck, baby, please,” You whimpered softly, your nails digging harshly into his back, making his cock twitch more and more. 

Baby. 

He doesn’t even remember the last time you called him that, and it shouldn’t bring a stupid, childish grin to his face, but it does. 

He’s ready to put everything behind him, start over, and do whatever you say. 

But he’s sure you will never let him. 

“I need you, Eds.” You murmured, eyes gazing into his; a mixture of tenderness and longing overtaking your features, speaking to him without uttering a single word.

That was all it took for him to free his hard cock from his boxers, his pink-tip burning with desire as it faced you, beads of pre-cum dripping from it as you smeared it all over, giving it a few pumps before you placed it into your entrance. 

The low groans that escaped Eddie’s lips were so fucking loud, filling the room, and you loved it. You loved the strained sounds he made with one touch from you. 

He didn’t hesitate to push himself deep inside of you without a warning, the space now being filled with both of your contented groans. 

“Holy fuck,” He breathed, head tilted back as he grinned at the sight in front of him.

You with your mouth hung open, murmuring his name as you took his cock like the good fucking girl that you were.  

“Takin’ me so well, angel,” He praised, “Baby, so fuckin’ tight, mhmm.” He placed sloppy kisses between your jaw and the line of your neck, grunting as he pounded his cock in and out of you with a speed that had your eyes rolling to the back of your head.

You were lost in him now, lost in the pure passion and affection Eddie provided you. You never felt this fucking good; you never felt this fucking close to him, breathing heavily as you struggled to keep your eyes open. 

Everything was so fucking intense that you could barely breathe.  

“Look at how well your sweet cunt is takin’ me in.” Eddie moaned, watching the way his cock disappeared into you, nuzzling him with your warmth. 

“Fuckfuckfuck. S’fuckin’ warm, honey.” He muttered the deeper he pushed into you, and your walls were quick to clench around his throbbing cock.

You arched your back into him as you rocked your hips toward him.  

You wanted him deeper and deeper, faster and faster, his every moment was euphoric, and you needed him, more and more. 

He was making you greedy. 

God, you wanted to hate him so fucking bad. 

He groaned at your impatience, relished in the way you grunted your hips more into his cock, he chuckled smugly. “Greedy baby,” He muttered. 

You ignored his taunting while you begged for more. 

“Shut up,” You murmured, teasing him back.

And it was a huge mistake.

He cursed as he pulled out of you, and you whined at the emptiness, “Shit, shit, ‘m sorry” You whispered, but he ignored you, continuing his teasing while all you could do was thrash beneath him. 

“Pleasepleaseplease,” You begged, causing him to smirk down at you. 

And even though your pleas were heavenly, Eddie was in no mood to stray away from you, he needed to be inside of you. 

He needed to feel your walls hugging his cock, he needed to be as close to you as he possibly could. 

“I would never say no to you, doll.” He mocked, rocking his hips into you with such force that the whimper that slipped past your lips was sinful. 

“All fuckin’ mine, yea?” He whimpered needily, and you nodded without hesitation, even though you both knew that wasn’t true. 

You shuddered underneath him; he was filling you to the brim, and you cherished every fucking second of it. 

“Eddie…” You barely let out a breath; the pleasure and sensation of each of his movements overwhelmed you. 

He cooed, “S’stuffed with my cock that you can barely speak, doll?” He asked mockingly. 

You nodded without hesitation, eyes squeezed shut. “I—Fuck…” Your head was dizzy, incoherent babbles were the only thing that escaped your lips, and Eddie knew, he knew you were close by the way your legs trembled. 

“Fuck… honey—I know.” He purred cockily, his hips pushing further into you with a glorious thrust. “I feel the same, baby.” He groaned when you clenched around him again.  

“My perfect girl.” He muttered as he continued his pace, his cock rocking into you further and faster—as if it were possible—earning low pleads from you in return.

“I never—I never thought being with someone could ever feel this way,” He whispered into your ear. 

Don’t let him get to you; don’t fucking let his words get to you.

But fuck—does everything with him feel so fucking good. 

“But, shit, you’re so different…” He muttered, his pace continuing as he grunted between his sentences. 

“You’re so fucking different.” You avoided his gaze, the emotion it held was too fucking much for you to handle.  

You tried to ignore it, tried to ignore the way you felt the hot tears streaming down your cheeks. Your emotions were a mess. 

It felt good, and he felt good; his words, his fucking cock inside of you, everything felt so fucking good. It was the temporary fix you needed. 

“Don’t do this to me, Munson.” You barely let out, he could feel your thighs trembling. 

“I…I never felt this way before… Jesus—Fuck.” The rocking motion of his hips became rougher each time he spoke; you were clenching around him, getting tighter and tighter, driving the both of you into insane heights of pleasure.

“I think I lo—” You snapped from your hazy state of pleasure; each of his words was like a stab at your fresh wound, the one he fucking created. 

“Don’t,” You warned him sternly, interrupting before he could get another vowel out.

"Don’t fucking finish that sentence. Don’t do that with me.”

“I know you. It's not working on me." You whispered.

“But—” He pleaded, and you interrupted again.

“Don’t say things you don’t mean, don’t ruin this.” The words were harsh as they left your lips.

“Don’t say things to make me doubt this, to make it harder for me to leave.” There was such a vulnerability in your voice that he couldn't help but want to protest. 

He wanted to tell you that it was all fucking true. That he was so fucking in love with you that he was sure he lost his mind. 

Yet, you don’t let him speak, you don’t let his words fool you, not again. 

You kiss him in a dizzyingly rough motion just to shut him up. 

His skin slaps against yours, rough, as if he’s trying to take his frustrations out, and you let him, you let him pound into you senselessly. You let his cock drive into you further, not stopping until he’s sure he’s stuffed you to the brim. 

“Eddie, fuck!” You mumble into his lips; your brows are drawn together, and he knows—he knows you are close. 

“Are you gonna cum, baby?” He cooed, and you nodded quickly. “Cum for me, honey.” He encouraged, not stopping his pace as he roughly thrusted his cock inside of your throbbing cunt one last time. 

A gush of wetness pulsed out of you when you released around him, the strength of your orgasm was enough to choke you out, and white-hot flashes blurred your vision as he watched you in awe. 

He wasn’t far behind, as the strained moans that escaped your throat drove him closer to the edge. 

“Shitshit—s’fuckin’ perfect.” He grunted. The way your cunt convulsed around him was too much for him to handle. He slammed inside of you one last time.

“Fuckfuckfuckfuck—” He growled against your hair as he came, his cock shrivelled inside your cunt, pulsing as he coated your walls with his warm cum, fucking his release inside of you.

The two of you stayed like that for a hot minute, bodies tangled to each other, both minds fuzzy as both of you tried to catch your breath. 

You could feel tears brimming your eyes again when the realization hit you. 

This was the last time. 

And you needed to leave. 

As soon as possible.

And that’s exactly what he’s afraid of, afraid of you leaving, forever. 

You are quick to shake your thoughts off, quickly getting up to get dressed. 

“Don’t,” He mutters, it’s barely audible. 

You turn to him with a quizzed look. “Please… Just, please don’t leave.” He begs, it’s the last sight you expect, and the last thing you expect to hear. 

And it should feel so fucking satisfying, to know he’s wrapped around your finger, to know he is practically pleading for you. But it doesn’t, it feels so fucking sentimental, and you hate it. 

“You knew.” You muttered, putting on the clothes you so carelessly discarded. 

“You wanted this to be the last time.” You whispered, not daring to look at him.

“I lied,” He was quick to reply. 

“Eddie…” You heaved a sigh.

“Please, just fucking listen to me for once.” He breathed; you’re sure you’ve never heard him this determined. 

“I’m a fucking idiot, and I’m the biggest coward in the whole fucking universe, okay?” You turn around to meet his gaze, it’s pitiful and heavy with guilt, and you wish you never cared about him.

You wish you could just throw your feelings away and leave him behind. 

“I don’t deserve you!” He exclaimed, causing you to roll your eyes. 

“Stop… just stop with the bullshit of making me pity you—” You replied angrily.

But he doesn’t let you finish. 

“Look, Y/N. I want that with you, I want something real with you… Shit—more than anything.” 

You chuckled, baffled. “Too fucking late for that.” You replied coldly. 

“I—it doesn’t have to be!” He spoke, grasping at straws to get you to give him one more chance.

Just one more fucking chance.

“What good will it do?” You whispered.

“You know what I realized?” You asked, putting on your shirt as Eddie gazed at you with need. 

“We’re both so beyond fucked up that...” You squeezed your eyes shut.

“Us—” You pointed toward the two of you. “We would never work!” You spat.

“I’m the last fucking girl for a relationship, and you’re the last fucking guy for a relationship.” 

“That’s why it would be perfect!” He tried to reason, but you shook your head.

“No—no, it wouldn’t! We’d eat each other alive!” You exclaimed, but Eddie refused. 

“So?” He shrugged.

“So? We’d just fight all the time! You really want a relationship that hard?”

“When did you become so fucking afraid to take a risk? A little challenge?” You narrowed your eyes.

He read you like a fucking book. You knew you weren’t afraid of a challenge.

You were afraid of getting hurt.

You were afraid of being more attached to him than you already were.

You were afraid of him running out once you decided to fully commit.

You knew it wasn’t all him; you were messed up in your own fucking way. Avoiding everything that felt too real was your specialty, because you’d rather be aching now than in the near future when he broke your heart again.

If you didn’t leave now, you never could.

“Goodbye, Eddie.” You muttered, shutting out whatever he was saying as you closed the door. 

Eddie sat on the bed, alone with himself, and his mind that was spinning with thoughts and his own voice telling him that he fucked up. 

He chucked his jacket to the ground as he rubbed his hands along his face in frustration. 

He had truly done it this time, he had lost you.

Forever.

But did he have to? 

Did he need to be a fucking coward again? 

Why would he give up this fucking fast when he didn’t tell you how he even felt? 

Eddie got up in a hurry, sprinting toward the party like a man possessed, spinning around each girl he saw in the hopes that it might be you. 

“Have you seen, Y/N?” He asked, and the blonde girl pointed toward the porch. 

He muttered a quick ‘Thanks’ as he slipped through the bodies in his way as fast as he could, making his way onto the porch with anticipation, eyes glistening the second he spotted you. 

You were sat on the cold wooden floor with your face buried into your hands, quiet sniffling was all Eddie heard. And he felt it again—that familiar ache—the same ache he felt the past month, when he couldn’t see you, talk to you, or know how you were doing. It returned instantly when he heard your sobs. 

“Hey… hey…” He murmured, causing you to jump as you turned to him with swollen eyes and your mascara was quick to run down your cheeks. 

“You’re gonna get cold, honey. Let’s get you up, yea?” He had never been this fucking caring, nor did he ever pine after you this much; he always held back, no matter what storms brewed in his mind. 

He extended his arm for you to take, but you glared at him coldly. “What are you doing here, Eddie?” 

“I need to talk to you.” He said. 

“Jesus fucking Christ.” You muttered, “How many times do I have to tell you that I don’t want to—” Your rant was interrupted by his pleas.

“Please—just don’t say anything and just listen, please.” You sighed. 

“Please, Y/N.” 

“Fine.” You crossed your arms against your chest, your eyes still glistening with tears.

He inched closer to you. “These thirty fucking days I’ve spent away from you… It’s been torture, Y/N.” He shook his head. 

“You—you have no fucking idea the things I did... The things I’ve tried to forget about us... Forget you.” His voice almost cracked, distress overtaking his features. He was sincere, so fucking honest that it was starting to make you afraid.

You couldn’t decide if it was him or the chilly breeze that sent shivers down your spine. “And no matter what I did, I still found myself itching for you. A part of me that I couldn’t fucking kill craved for you… to see you, to call you.” 

You’d never seen him like this before.

Eddie was always guarded, all fun and teasing. Always turning serious shit into jokes.

And this was real. The only thing you wanted from him, the only thing you begged that he made a mockery of. The hypocrisy was appalling to you.

You opened your mouth, your brows had already furrowed, and he could tell you were going to curse him out, so he didn’t let you.

“I know… I’m a fucking hypocrite, I get it.” He whispered, and your eyes almost widened.

How the fuck did he read you that easily?

“And I’m so fucking sorry for everything I said.” He ran his hands through his curls, almost tugging them out for being an idiot.

“I was afraid, okay?” He heaved a sigh, hand ruffling through his messy hair.

You didn’t want to ask him what he was afraid of because you knew—because you were afraid of the same thing.

Your lips trembled with need; no words dared to come out of them. 

“I was so fucking scared because I did the first thing we promised not to do.” He squeezed his eyes shut. You knew how bad he was with his feelings; you couldn’t even believe that he had made it this far.

“I think—No, I know.” He shook his head.

“I really fell for you.” He was ripping open your chest now, holding your heart out. Telling you he felt the same. A gasping, quiet noise escaped your lips; this was all you wanted—needed.

You’ve been this close to Eddie countless times before; hell, he probably fucked you at a much closer distance countless times before, but this was intimate. 

“And I realized... I could lose everything in this fucked up world.” He took a deep breath, his face so close to yours that you could sense it. Sense every emotion radiating from his body—the vulnerability, the pain. 

Each beat of your heart was like a drumroll against your chest; everything you longed for was there, a breath away from you.

“But not you. Oh god, not you.” His brows knitted together in a painful expression, and his voice was barely audible as he looked at you with a gaze that held you as the center of his universe.

You wanted to kiss him; you wanted his soft lips to graze against yours; you wanted to sob into him, melt into him, and become complete with him. 

“W—what are you saying?” You asked, and you knew the answer, but you needed that confirmation, you needed those three words to leave his lips.

“I love you.” He said without hesitation, and you couldn’t help the childish grin that formed on your face, mirroring Eddie’s. 

“I—You do?” You stuttered.

“Yeah… I love you so fucking much that it’s embarrassing, really.” He chuckled, still not able to comprehend your expressions; you looked… frozen. 

“You, uh, you don’t have to say it back.” He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, all of this was so fucking new to him. What was he supposed to do now? Kiss you? No, no, no... He couldn’t do that because you didn’t say it back. 

“I’m sorry, shit, uhm—I honestly have no fucking clue what I’m doing,” He stuttered. 

You gave him a warm smile. “I’d say you are doing well,” You whispered, scrunching your nose. 

“Yeah?” He returned the smile—that goddamn smile that brought out his dimples. 

God, you wanted to kiss him. 

“You’re making it so hard for me to leave.” You muttered, turning around to take a breath as you shook your head.

Eddie sighed, hands quick to find yours as he turned you to face him. “Then don’t leave. Stay.”

His past words didn’t matter, and how your relationship started didn’t matter. None of it mattered now because Eddie was ready, ready to give himself fully to you. And he looked at you like you were the only thing that mattered.

It was now or never. You heaved a sigh of breath as you looked into his eyes; you couldn’t help yourself. How could you not utter those words back to him?

“Jesus…When I told Robin that I was ready to fall in love again, I didn’t mean with you.”

You barely gave him any time to process your words as you smashed your lips with his.

It was as if passion was dripping from every move; it felt so fucking different to have this many emotions carrying your actions.

Before you could further it, taste him fully, Eddie pulled back slightly. You whined at the loss of contact. “Wait, wait, wait.” The words slipped past his lips quickly, eyes widening at your words.

“You—you? You are…?” He asked, baffled. He didn’t expect you to say it back.

He expected you to hate him forever. The thought of someone loving him was unfamiliar to him, especially to the extent that you did. Healing his fears without realizing it.

Your lips quirked into a smile. Why was he so idiotically cute?

You nodded, affirming him.

“Say it, please,” He pleaded, hands gentle as they cupped your cheeks. The look he gave you was mellow and your face tilted as you melted into his tender touch.

“I love you,” You muttered, eyes glinting with all the unspoken feelings you’ve been containing.

“Again.” A grin overtook his lips, and his widened eyes didn’t falter, shock and pure bliss apparent was written all over his face.

“Please,” He implored, brows softening each time you gave him that pretty smile.

“Soooo needy.” You narrowed your eyes jokingly.

“I love you,” You repeated, your gaze lingering on his honey-glazed eyes.

“Aren’t you a fucking dream?” You giggled, the dimples on his left cheek were pretty, he was so pretty.

“I love you more, honey.” He whispered, smashing his soft lips against yours.

And you invite him in to patch up the wounds he made, to give you the world, to love you fully; knowing that the blind faith transcended into something real, something worth worshiping.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson smut #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson x you #fuckboy!eddie munson #fuckboy!eddie munson imagine #eddie munson #modern!eddie munson

[marycorcaroli]

zoro and sanji with a reader who is insecure about her scars.

hurt/comfort, my fav boys.

req ♡ : hiii 🥹🩷 i don’t know if you do requests or are accepting them rn but i was wondering if u could write something for sanji and or zoro abt a reader with like scars from fighting or something and reader is insecure about them but they make reader feel better abt it 🥹 love ur blog ur stuff is soooo cute i love it i hope ur having a good day/night!!

mary ♡ : thank you for your request ! ! i enjoyed writing this so much that i even cried a little :( love your scars ! they are part of you and they make you individual 🫂💌 hope you enjoy it ! english is not my first language, i apologize for the mistakes.

rules ; masterlist.

sanji.

— he knows all about your scars and knows where you got them from. deep down, sanji wishes he could have prevented you from getting them and helped you when you needed his help and he wasn't there, and you could say he blames himself a little.

— he will notice how you look at them every time you look at them and your gaze grows dim, the sparkle in your eyes dims and your shoulders slump more and more with every exhale, you feel so bad about them and sanji is trying to help you, he will do everything in his power so that you can see the beauty in what you have.

— sanji will always be there for you when that moment comes again and you need support, he will be there for you, you don't have to worry, he will never leave you again.

— he wants you to tell him the burden you carry with you to this day, sanji will listen to you carefully, his eyes fixed on you.

"you know, sanji, they're horrible, aren't they? god, they're everywhere, i just can't live with myself because of it...i just h-" you hadn't finished your words before sanji's palms cupped your cheeks and brought them close to your face.

"let me stop you here kitten. please, i want you to know-" sanji's eyes became glassy like he was about to cry, unable to stand the way you hate yourself. "this, this and this — are you and your actions, the way you protected everyone and were brave, your heart is the strongest i've ever met, your soul is the kindest i've ever met. people appreciate you and love you, they know about your scars and they are grateful to you because you saved them and gave them a chance to live, so why don't you give yourself a chance? i'll help you, i'll be there for you, you know i'll never leave you."

— sanji has rarely ever been this sad, usually he doesn't show his emotions at all, but you make him feel so much. you made him a man with a pure soul again and gave him a chance at the love he wanted so badly and that's why he can't stand your sadness.

— he'll kiss every scar you have and say how beautiful they are.

"look, this one? oh, honey, it's so beautiful! i'll kiss it a million times, it makes you look so beautiful and even with it, you're the most beautiful person on this earth."

— he will never let you feel bad about it again, you will get the kindest words in your direction and the brightest smile from sanji, my god he will make you smile no matter what.

zoro.

— oh i think zoro is not good with his words, he is generally silent and not used to expressing his emotions, but the situation with you will not allow him to be silent. you are literally killing yourself around him and he can't do anything? his heart breaks into a thousand pieces when he sees your blank stare and all the pain in them.

— even if you say "it's okay, i'm fine" he will realize that nothing is okay, zoro knows you too well and knows the reason for your heavy sighs.

— he'll start by coming over to you and hugging you as tightly as he can and kissing your temple, trying to convey his warmth and support.

"zoro-"

— before you can say anything else, zoro's lips will join yours and give you the most tender kiss, conveying half of what he couldn't have said. pulling back to breathe a little, zoro will look deep into your eyes, where he always sees his past, present and future, and tell you what he wanted to say a long time ago.

"um, i'm not the best when i need to be, but you are very precious to me and i want you to know how much i love you. remember? you taught me to love myself and to love what i hate. i was alone, but then you came into my life and you saved me, you were the strongest, you came to me and you weren't afraid of anything, i've never met anyone like you before. you went to any lengths to get what you wanted and your scars are proof of that, because you became a leader for everyone, you led people and gave them protection, you were beaten, you fell a lot, but you always got up with your head held high and i love you for that-"

— zoro began to pant in his speech, afraid to say something too much or not to say something.

— he kisses your scars every day and runs his fingers over them, smiling at you with all his teeth so that you realize that your scars are the most beautiful and have a story behind them, you shouldn't be afraid of them or hate them.

— but also zoro will not let anyone else hurt you because of them. he will literally kill those people if they make you cry. yes you are strong but every strong man needs support and he will be yours by doing everything for you, he will go all over the earth and get you what you need if it makes you happy, he is not afraid of anything if it makes your day better.

#one piece live action #one piece #one piece x reader #one piece x you #opla zoro #opla #opla sanji #zoro roronoa #one piece zoro #zoro x y/n #zoro x reader #zoro and sanji #one piece sanji #sanji x reader #vinsmoke sanji #vinsmoke sanji x reader #sanji x you #taz skylar #mackenyu #arata mackenyu #mary ♡

[lewkwoodnco]

Can I make you a request about Anthony Lockwood based on the song “So American” by Olivia Rodrigo🥺😭

so american! - Lockwood x Reader

when he laughs at all my jokes and he says I’m so american oh god it’s just not fair of him to make me feel this much I’d go anywhere he goes when he says I’m so american oh god I’m gonna marry him if he keeps this shit up i might just be in la la la la la la la la la love

a/n: this fic has been rattling around in my head for a couple of weeks now and I was soooo double minded abt writing it so THANK YOU for the ask!!!!!! might not have written it otherwise heheh also I’m sooo proud of how my gifs turned out it was so fun to colour them all guts themed 😍😍 I hope you enjoy!! <333 also im having issues w the keep reading button AGAIN so sorry :(((

warnings/tropes: lockwood and reader are already in an established relationship, fluffy fluff, veeerrry small sprinkling of angst but happy ending! domestic sweetness

word count: 3.3k!

TAGLIST | MASTERLIST

“Ready?”

Lockwood ducked into the car's passenger seat, grinning at the sight of her comically desperate expression. George and Lucy were fussing in the backseat, mainly because of Lucy’s seatbelt, or lack thereof, and they didn't seem to notice his arrival.

“Just wear the fucking seatbelt.”

"I'll be fine, George."

"She got her license at 16. 16! They just let anyone drive all willy-nilly up and down the roads in America."

Lucy gave him a look. He finally gave up and tugged at his own seatbelt sceptically, muttering darkly under his breath.

Lockwood & Co. was much more than a psychical investigation agency. Outside of their working hours, each member liked to work on some kind of passion project. After not having driven for over a year since she got her driving license in the States, she had decided to apply for one in London. Luckily, her employer had gallantly offered to provide her with the lessons she badly needed, having been the first of the three to earn his license. Well, employer and boyfriend. 

Her mother could hardly believe the news and, frankly, so could she. In a lot of ways, having an English boyfriend was vastly different from having an American one. First, there was a slight communication barrier, given how terrible she was with accents. Then there were the differing preferences - Lockwood seemed forever ready for a cuppa at any time of day, whereas the only kind of tea she really enjoyed was iced tea. Still, these differences left gaps for lingering gazes and silences that stretched on a little too much, and somewhere in between she slipped her hand into his, and the rest was history. 

Lockwood turned away to buckle his seatbelt.

"Okay, your seatbelt on?"

"Yes."

"Ready to go?"

"Hang on," came George's peeved voice from behind them, "you're not going to brief her first?" The two of them stared at each other blankly. 

"Uh, Y/N, do you remember how to drive?"

"Sure." It was one of those things you never forget, like riding a bicycle. Sure, it had been a while, but how hard could it truly be?

"Brilliant. Now-"

George pulled himself forward between the two front seats, straining against his seatbelt. “We don’t drive on the right side here. We drive on the left side of the road. Left. Left.”

She glanced at her rearview mirror which outlined the line of cars behind them parked on the left side of the street.

“No. You don’t say.”

Lockwood coughed, poorly concealing his laugh as he craned his neck towards the backseat windows. "Right, all clear. I think we can move of-"

"Parking brake."

"Er, right, what George said. Disable the parking brake first."

“I’ve never driven with a parking brake before.”

“So you push in this metal bit, like so,” said Lockwood, gently manoeuvring her fingers into the right grip, “and then pull it up a little, and then bring it all the way down.”

She tugged at it in frustration. “I -it’s not working.”

“Lockwood, did you tell her to step on the “

“Step-on-the-brake-while-doing-that-yes I was just about to say, George. I think I know how to teach someone how to drive. Unless you’d like to take over?”

"Oh, please. You couldn't pay me to sit in the front seat with that maniac driving."

She got her parking brake down, checked her mirrors, and they were off. For a minute there it was quite enjoyable, trundling through the mostly empty backstreets of London. Lockwood even tried to prop his feet on the dashboard before getting badly told off by George. He was forever propping his feet up at the slightest chance - at the Archives, at home, and now here. Maybe it was all part of some innate desire to be a wheelbarrow.

And so, things were going perfectly rosy, until she faced her first real challenge - oncoming traffic. As soon as the car heading towards them came into plain enough view, the four of them went into hysterics. The road was just narrow enough to make overtaking a little too tricky for her abilities at the moment.

“What do I do? WHY isn’t he slowing down?”

“Don’t panic, it’s alright. Stop a little to the side.”

She cursed, fumbling for the brake pedal her foot had carelessly slipped off of. Lockwood was nervously watching the car get closer and closer to them.

“Now would be a good time to stop, Y/N. Brake! BRAKE!”

They shot ahead sharply, swerving right sharply, narrowly missing the car passing them. Lucy swore loudly and George gripped the car grab handle above him as he started scolding no one in particular. 

"NOT THE BRAKE!”

Lockwood gripped the steering wheel over her hands, frantically trying to steer them to safety. With some difficulty, she shifted her foot back to the right pedal and slammed the brakes. There was a bit of a scuffle in the backseat, including George going off on Lucy in a very ‘I-told-you-so’ tone.

At the front of the car, Lockwood and she were still frozen, reeling from the past very exciting 30 seconds. Her eyes settled to where his hands were still resting on hers, tightly pinning her fingers to the steering wheel.

“Your hands are so warm.”

He peeled them off almost instantly, and she was sorry she brought it up in the first place. “Yeah, well, they’re panicking, just like the rest of me. What the bloody hell was that? I thought you said you knew how to drive!”

“I do know how to drive.” She bit back a smile at the sight of her 180 cm tall boyfriend trying to catch his breath with his hand dramatically splayed across his chest, muttering something about Americans handing out licenses to just about anyone.

The drive back to the rental car agency was much less eventful. After returning the car, they trudged back up the road to Portland Row. As they hung their coats up, she met his thoughtful gaze.

“What?”

“Nothing.” He drew in a breath and hesitated. “You look nice.”

“Is this some convoluted way of patting yourself on the back for your fashion choices?”

“So you agree? You think you look nice?”

She groaned. She should have known no good was going to come from showing Lockwood Mean Girls. Still, it was hard to stay mad for long at a face like that. "You’re such a nuisance. A…delightful one, arguably, but still a nuisance.”

"You find me delightful?"

"That's your takeaway?”

"Next thing I know you’ll be saying you fancy me.”

“I’m literally wearing your shirt right now.”

“Luce!” He turned and started down the hallway. “Y/N says I’m delightful!”

As usual, the four of them reconvened in the kitchen a little after lunch for a tea break. Well, the four of them minus Lockwood, who had been bullied into fixing a plumbing issue in the basement. They sipped their tea and chewed their biscuits in silence. She wished she could bring down a little for Lockwood.

“Maybe I should go see if he needs some help.”

“No!” George nearly upset his tea, which made Lucy choke on her biscuit. “ Don’t go down there. You’ll distract him, he won’t get shit done, and that’ll be one more week without hot water for me.”

So she sat back down sulkily, brooding over her tea, until another topic of conversation struck her.

“Speaking of Lockwood -“

“- no one’s mentioned Lockwood-“

“-did you guys see the socks he was wearing today?”

Lucy and George didn’t even try to muffle their groans.

“They were very nice socks! They had the most precious pattern of baby ducks against a darling blue backgr-“

She stopped short as Lucy reached across the table to grip her hand.

“Y/N, I say this with love, but if I have to hear one more word about Lockwood, or his stupid bloody socks, I am going to ram a fork into my eye.”

She blinked, confused, and scoffed. “Gosh, you guys are so overdramatic. I don’t talk about him that much.”

George and Lucy exchanged a look.

“Okay, so maybe I like my boyfriend and I enjoy talking about him. Is that really so bad?”

Lockwood rescued all of them from the siege of George’s response by walking in right then, holding a wrench and looking a little worse for wear, but appeared very pleased with himself.

“Fixed!”

“Finally.”

Lucy frowned at the clock above the stove. “Isn’t that client meeting at Tooting today?”

Lockwood’s smile slipped right off as he glanced at his watch and rushed out of the kitchen, muttering furiously. His simple black leather watch which complemented his wrist so perfectly-

“Y/N! Time to leave!”

Maybe George and Lucy had a point.

Once their client meeting had finished, she and Lockwood stood on the pavement outside the house, looking for cabs to flag down. It was a balmy evening, and a cloudless sky meant they could enjoy the warmth of the setting sun beating down on them. She squinted down the road while Lockwood pulled something out from his coat pocket.

“For a job well done this morning and at the meeting…” he revealed two pieces of tightly wrapped square candies sitting on his palm. “A little treat.”

She stared at the candy for a moment, thinking hard.

“Caramel! I just remembered.”

“…what?”

“That’s what we call it in the States. A caramel.”

“It’s made of caramel, sure-“

“Plural is caramels.”

He made a strangled sound from the back of his throat. “Changing an uncountable noun into a countable one? That’s just lazy.”

“Fine. What do you call it?”

“Toffee.” The vowels rolled off his tongue like silk in that English accent that had made it difficult to fully concentrate from day one. Standing next to him, watching him gently and methodically unfolding the golden wrapper, shining and glinting like a beacon of light…maybe this was all she needed to be happy.

“Taw-fee?”

He pulled a face at her exaggerated American drawl, and she leaned her head on his shoulder as he pried apart the stuck halves of the toffee. She watched him visibly relax as the first tangy notes hit his tongue, her own half close to melting in her palm under the brunt of the setting sun. He met her gaze and gave a faint smile, almost reflexively covering her hand with his own.

“God, you’re so American. So, which is it? Toffee or caramel?”

She bites into what's left of the soft treat she's scraped off her palm. It's warm and comforting and she instantly feels a little more happy. Maybe it's the candy, or maybe it's the boy whose side is pressed into hers. Love, she decides. It's love.

“How many cups of tea have you had today?”

As idyllic as the weekend had been, they were back to their usual busy routine which meant that their evening tea break was the first time they’d see each other since breakfast. She had just walked into the kitchen where Lockwood was seated at the kitchen table, pouring over a mess of papers with a cup of tea to the side. One of the first things she had learnt about Lockwood was his near-debilitating addiction to tea. Now, he silently took a sip from his mug and she gave an exaggerated sigh, settling into the opposite end of the table.

“You really drink too much caffeine.”

He quirked his lips into a lopsided half-smile -/ he peered at the papers she had spilled onto the table. “What’s all…” he gestured to her papers with his mug, “…that?”

“The Rotwell agents give me hell for my American accent when they’re on duty at DEPRAC.” She held up her list of words dolefully. “‘Least I can do is pronounce things right.”

He slid into the chair next to her, taking a look at the list. “Which one are you at?”

“Pri-vacy. Pri...vacy. Nope, can't do it.”

“Of course it sounds weird when you say it like that. Try using it in a sentence.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Fine. If I have to say ‘pri-vacy’ one more time, I’m running you through with my rapier."

Lockwood choked on his tea.

"...or, you know...'pry-vacy' sounds perfectly fine."

She gave him a brief smile. “Anyway, I’ve got to do a Satchell’s run now. Lucy says we’re out of flares. Don’t wait up for me.”

It took her a decent amount of time to collect all the supplies they were out of stock on, yet when she returned Lockwood was still sitting in that same chair, staring at the same papers with worn-out eyes, distractedly tugging at his hair. He barely looked up when she walked in, mystified.

“You’re still up?”

He rubbed his face firmly. “I can’t…I can’t figure this out.” She took a closer look at the papers. There were reports dating back two centuries on the house of one of their upcoming cases.

“The investigation is tomorrow and I have no idea what or where the Source could be.”

“Well…maybe George’s figured it out.”

“If he did, he’d be home by now.” He hunched over the papers once again, his head swaying dangerously close to the table, and she was instantly reminded of how exhausted Lockwood had looked that morning. As if he hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep. She started stacking some papers together.

“It’s getting late. We should head to bed.”

“But I’m not done yet.”

“You can continue in the morning, but right now, you need to rest.”

His features hardened like he was ready to start a fight, but it lasted all of half a second before they caved to exhaustion. He looked like a drenched cat left out in the rain, with his hair messed up and in disarray.

“George is still at the Archives. What kind of a boss would I be to go to bed now? What kind of a…friend?”

Lockwood leaned back in his chair, briefly pressing a hand to his eyes and then his forehead, his forearm trembling ever so slightly. In the dim light of the kitchen, he seemed more skeleton than Man with his malnourished pallor and the scar on his lip being carefully outlined by a shadow. She ran a hand through his hair, down his neck, all the way to his shoulder.

“Hey. Don’t beat yourself up over it. You’re human, too.”

He gave a deep sigh. “Fine. I’ll come in a while.”

“Promise?”

He gave a jerky nod. The tea in his mug had gone stone cold by then, and so she brewed him a fresh cup. He looked up, confused, as she placed it next to his papers.

“What about the caffeine?”

She bit the inside of her cheek and combed down the hair sticking up all haywire, as if she hadn’t heard him. “What about it?”

He smiled faintly and gave the hand on his shoulder a light squeeze, and returned to his work with his eyes humming with a little more energy.

Later that night, she dreamt that he was falling, and she was losing her mind trying to save him.

She should have known nothing was going to right in the job from the very beginning. None of them had been able to find much information on the house, and they were running late, so tempers were running very high. Even during the case itself, they were forced to split up and fumble through improvised plans. That was until she had stumbled onto Lockwood frozen at the basement door, looking down into the darkness in a strange way. 

Go back, he had said. I don’t know what any of us can expect in this place. So I’ll come with you, she had replied. Or let’s wait for George or Lucy. I can’t. Why not? It’s different. I don’t have the time to explain it. Different how?

You’re more important.

The look on his face was more foreign than the house itself.

Now they were home, back at Portland Row. Lucy and George had sensed something was off and retired to their rooms. Lockwood headed towards the kitchen, and she followed him. He hadn’t spoken a word since her face had blanched at the sight of him poised at the basement’s entrance. She tugged at the ends of her hair. She could feel an argument brewing and she didn’t like it one bit.

“Are you okay?”

Lockwood continued rummaging through the refrigerator for his routine drink of orange juice, taking his time to reply. “Don’t I look okay?”

“Yes. No.” He was terribly confusing. “Why did you say you weren’t important?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You said you were less important.”

He finally twisted the cap off the carton with his trembling fingers. The case had shaken all of them up, but for some reason, he was trying to hide it.

“Well…it’s not not true.”

“No it isn’t.”

“I’m a figurehead, Y/N. I represent the agency, that’s my name on the plaque out there, but that’s about it. You, Lucy, George…you’re the soul of the agency.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“If…heaven forbid, something were to happen to one of us…”

Oh, he was so aggravating. She massaged her temples. She was going to punch him soon if she wasn’t careful.

“…the lot of you’d be better off without me than anyone else, and-“

"Oh god, shut up already!"

Lockwood abandoned the carton and straightened, and they glared at each other from opposite ends of the kitchen. “Or what? You'll shoot me?"

His expression softened only marginally when he saw how close she was to tears. She shook her head.

"If you pull another stunt like this...I might just have to marry you.”

“I’d have to marry you so that you can look down at your bloody hand and remember that there are people out there who would be nothing without you.”

“Y/-“

“Shame on you, Anthony J. Lockwood. Do you think George wouldn’t care about losing his best friend? Or Lucy? Or me? Hm?”

The tears had started to trickle down her face, and he walked towards her with a sympathetic expression, any and all rage long forgotten, and offered her his handkerchief. She could barely manage a weak glare before caving and accepting it, wiping away at her face. As soon as she was done, she wrapped her arms around him, and he enveloped her in a warm hug that smelled faintly of vanilla.

“That was a…a terrible thing to say, Anthony.”

“I know. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“Well, you’re doing a pretty shitty job then. I’m worried about you every day.”

She felt rather than saw his smile, though he could perfectly picture it in her mind - uneven and tipped to the right, but perfectly sincere.

"Also, I'm pretty sure that shooting remark counts as xenophobia."

"Yes, I'm hugging you very xenophobically now."

She buried her face into his chest and scrunched her nose hard. It was moments like these that only cemented her faith that she was never going to find somebody who made her feel the way Lockwood did. Seeing him standing outside the basement, she didn’t even need to think about what to do next. It had become incredibly instinctual - her readiness to take his hand and hurtle into the latest oblivion, blind as a bat. It didn’t get more simple than this: she just wanted to be wherever he was. 

It was him and her, and her and him - Portland Row’s cripplingly disaster couple, Mr A.J. Lockwood and Miss Americana.

TAGLIST: @dangelnleif @elenianag080 @snoopyluver20 @ell0ra-br3kk3r @avdiobliss @mitskiswift99 @ahead-fullofdreams @neewtmas @mischivana @houseoftwistedspirits

#lockwood and co #lockwood & co #lockwood and co netflix #anthony lockwood #anthony lockwood x reader #anthony lockwood imagine #fanfic #fanfiction #olivia rodrigo #guts spilled #so american #songfic

[justallihere]

This is a play by play of my thoughts while I was reading todays chapter:

Did Xaden relish in stabbing the cadet and stopping him from calling Violet a wh0re because he couldn’t kill the Basgaith cadet for calling her that and attempting to kill her?

MY BABY BOY IS IN DENAL. HE IS LITERALLY IN LOVE. HE WANTS MORE!!!!! HE WANTS MORE!!!! IDIOTS, THEY ARE ALL IDIOTS

OMG, I love the little tidbit about Sgayel and Tairn's courtship. That was like so unexpected but it just adds to the story and the parallels in the dragons and their riders.

Is Xaden internally going feral seeing Violet wear his shirt?

" His fearless fucking wife, who held absolutely no regard for her own safety"  DON’T PANIC EVERYONE, ITS STARTING!!!

I am confident that Sloane and Tessa are 100% behind Queen Violet and are ready to fight to defend her honor

Xadens love languages: Physical touch, acts of service, gift giving.

Violet is truly an unbothered queen and she has other shit to worry about!!!! I LITERALLY LOVE YOUR VERSION OF VIOLET.

“What do you need me to do?” Xaden asked. “Because you can’t live like this. We can’t live like this.” 

“Do you want to get a divorce?” she muttered bitterly. 

“Not particularly.” He sighed

YOUR HONOR, YOUR HONOR!!!!!! The scream I scrumpt when I read this. Violet is literally going to mentally burn out at this rate. 😭😭😭Xaden wants to comfort her SOOOO bad!!!!

I am literally sobbing, god i love them so damn much!!!!!!!

I'm so curious sd to know what Bodhi, Garrick, Imogen in particular, and Brennan's thoughts are on all of this. Are Imogen and Garrick discussing how dumb Xaden is????

“Did Xaden relish stabbing the cadet?” Absolutely. Not just because it reminded him of the last time someone tried to assassinate Violet but also because he is violent and wants everyone who thinks badly about his wife to suffer

Baby boy is in less denial than he was before, but as this is a relative scale I’m not entirely sure how much that says about him

I would read 200k words about Tairn and Sgaeyl’s courtship and mating. I will not be writing it beyond little bits and pieces but I would offer a forehead kiss to anyone who wants to. And yes, I am a firm believer that Violet and Xaden’s relationship mirrors theirs in a lot a ways because dragon and rider are also so similar in this case

“Is Xaden going feral over Violet wearing his shirt?” ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY HE IS. If she would have not taken it off that would have been very cool to him but alas. Here we are

Violet is SO tired. My baby girl. Xaden wants to wrap her in every blanket he owns and hold her and let her sleep for like 3 days straight but she would not allow that

Bodhi, Garrick, and Imogen are standing in a corner going “what the fuck is this idiot doing,” Liam is unsurprised as hell, and Brennan is trying desperately to not have an opinion because he knows Violet is still angry and would not appreciate him poking his nose into whatever the fuck she and Xaden are doing from, like, an interpersonal standpoint

#fourth wing #fourth wing fanfic #storm in the quiet

[softhairedhotch]

DUDEEEE HELLO??:!:!::&: PLEASE I LOVE YOU, YOUR WONDERFUL BRAIN N UR RESPONSES???!! like sometimes i think damn my thoughts r sooooo filthy i wonder if anyone would even feel the same like am i crazy :-///.... THEN UR REPLIES JUST FUELS ME EVEN MORE ARGHRHHHHH LIKE??? im so glad we have the same brain like damn... i love talking abt him hehe rly.. thank u for entertaining my thoughts n making it even more amazing <333 also i hope u are feeling better now!!! 🫂🫂 tbh i feel the same bc the idea of aaron has made me feel better so many times n it's years since i started liking him :-(((( fr i never ever regret starting this show n falling in love w him 😭😭😭

"imagine just sitting there with him fully inside you, tie in your mouth, head on his broad shoulder, one of his big warm hands occasionally rubbing up and down your back as you hear the other write away" ‼️‼️‼️ PLEASEEEE omfg he'd feel so good and he'd make you feel sooooo safe 😭😭😭 i need this so badly . being on his lap would literally make all the painful noisy thoughts in your head go silent because all you can think about and feel is him <3333 though i don't know how i'd be able actually to be quiet n not be reduced into a whimpering mess because GODDDDDD HE'S JUST SOOOO..... my god. if u do turn this into a fic i'd probably be reading it 9784953 times n manifesting it to appear in my dreams 🙏🙏

and OOOOOFFFFFFFFF cannot decide if i would want him to make a mess all over me and use his thick fingers to scoop it up and shove it into my mouth or have him cum deep in my throat ! 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 like man.... the idea of messy wet sex drives me insane like having him a panting sweaty mess 🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️ n downright filthy cum eating . like my thoughts abt it are ENDLESS n its literally a can of worms im afraid of opening-- AWOEKFJFKEKD thinking abt that episode when aaron jumps into a lake to chase an unsub n he comes out of the water all WET N THE WATER DRIPPING DOWN HIS SKIN??? I CANT REMEMBER WHAT EPISODE IT IS BUT I THINK U KNKW WHAT IM REFERRING TO???

omfggggg when he's ruthlessly riding you and jerking himself off, his chest would get soooo red and it'll feel soo nice to run your fingers down his body and literally worship every inch of him 😵‍💫 he'd look soooo pretty with little marks over his chest as you shower him with praises... thinking about praising aaron HEEEEHEHEH he'd get sooo shy n flustered the first few times but slowly he'd get used to it and literally bask in the attention n praises 😭😭

my god n i must say u rly perfected his voice n what he would say......i swear my love for aaron not only solidified my kink for suits but also... voice 😵‍💫😵‍💫🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️ like it makes me think how he'd react the first time when he realised how much power he has over you just from his voice and words alone.... like first he'd be confused why your reaction sometimes gets a lil funny but then his expression darkens when finally he realises. but he likes building up material to tease you later on so he doesn't really point it out at first but just has an amused smile.

then imagine one night being on a phone call with him as he just talks about his day and that it's pretty late at night so his voice starts getting huskier bc he's tired.... and he's just rambling about something unrelated but you feel the heat crawling up your neck because he just sounds so good . you can't help but clench your thighs and swallow your saliva. then he asks you a question but you're SO distracted that you miss it and when you finally answer him, your voice shakes. he goes silent before breaking into a low laugh because he recognises that tone of voice and picks up your breathing. "oh my, baby... i don't even need to see your face to know what's up. here am i trying to tell you about my day... but you just can't help yourself, hm? ...pathetic."

YEAHHHHHH 😭😭😭😭

- 🤲

AHHHHHHHHHH SDJFHSJDF THANK YOU hehehehehe n YEAH I GETCHA, I BE THINKING "oh GOD what if what i say is too weird???" n then you get back to me with basically the SAME THING AHHHHH i'm sooo happy we be thinking the same thoughts LMAO. and thank you sm <33

YESSSSS HE'D MAKE YOU FEEL SO SAFE FR <333 i wanna sit on his lap soooo so so much, god it'd be so good. i would love to write it as a fic tbh but i just have sooooo much to work on already UGHHH why is writing so hard and time-consumingggggg

REALLLLL I WANT BOTH !!! n oPEN THAT CAN OF WORMS RN CUM EATING IS SOOOOOOOO HOT I SWEAR DDSKFSK AHHHHH AND YES YES YE S I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT SCENE YOU'RE REFERENCING

OUGHHH HE'S SO BEAUTIFUL FUCKKK

yessss he'd looook so pretty riding youuu <33 all red and sweaty and a whimpering panting mess oughhh i love it i love him sm n yessssss i wanna praise him sooo bad. like if you praised him he just WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO but then as he gets used to it, he loooooves it and craves it ough

hehe thank you!! N YEAH VOICE KINK AND SUIT KINK GO BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR 🤭🤭 he'd get sooooo cocky knowing he has sm control over you oughhh and he'd be so proud of himself knowing he can get you to do almost anything with just his voice n pretty face

STOPPPP I'VE HAD THE EXACT SAME IDEA AND STARTED IT AS A FIC ONCE BUT NEVER GOT AROUND TO IT KSDFJK i loooooooove the idea of calling him on a case and he's just like. tired but tryna talk n his voice is sooooo deep and gravelly and it sounds so hot (bc sleepy/morning voices might be one of the best things in existence <33) and he notices you trailing off your sentences and stuttering a bit and going quiet and he just KNOWS what he's doing to you and he teases you relentlessly <33 he'd either get you all hot and bothered n then tell you that you gotta be patient and wait til he gets home orrrrrr he'll go "do you think you can show me how much of an effect i have on you, sweetheart?" and when you send him a pic he'd hum in appreciation and tell you how pretty/handsome you are and how he's gonna make you feel real good when he gets home but for now he's gonna talk you through making yourself feel good <33 maybe you can hear him letting out cute lil moans as he tells you how he wants you to touch yourself and your stomach drops when you realise he's getting off on it too and you ask him to send a pic of himself and he does and he looks sooooo good <33

also i gotta ask,,, how do you feel about daddy kinks LMAOOO bc i haven't thought about it much relating to aaron lately tbh but when i first got into him two years ago, all i could think was him saying stuff like "let daddy make you feel good, hm?" or "you wanna touch daddy?" n stuff like that,, are you into that?? i'm leaning more toward softer aaron n bottom aaron lately but godddd soft daddy dom aaron is soooooooo <333

#🤲 anon #casks #casper's anons #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x male reader #put a read more bc i dont like filling up peoples dashes too much lol

[mommyghostface28]

hi mommy!! ☺️

and i had a great 420! smoked, played video games majority of the day while high, but came (literally lol) back twice to your page and had the best orgasms i had in a hot minute! especially your 🍃 post about wanting a sub to deep throat your strap while high and cockwarming while sharing a joint got me soooo wet holy fuck 🥵🥵. i can’t help but imagine a trib session with you while we’re both stoned, god it would be soooo hot!

hope your 420 was as good as mine. 😘

- 🐮

hi there my darling moooo! 🥰 I’m happy to hear you had a good 420!

I love knowing my post made you so wet 😘 I’d absolutely love a session like that. Completely high and dazed, lazily rubbing our pussies together, giggling in euphoria while I lose myself in your wetness, in your body heat. A cloud of haze hanging over our heads while we grind out orgasm after orgasm. god I need it badly.

My 420 was lovely, spent high and doing some writing 🥰

- 🐮

#wlw nsft #wlw ns/fw #nsft wlw #lesbian nsft #sapphic nsft #nsft lesbian #bd/sm mommy #wlw domme #lesbian #sapphic ns/fw #sapphic ns/ft #nsft sapphic #bi ns/fw #bi nsft #pan nsft #queer ns/fw #queer nsft #nb ns/fw #nblnb nsft #nb nsft #nblw nsft #🐮 #Mommys Asks 😈

[angrycloudloud]

Percy Jackson spoilers episode 8

I'm not joking, i commented everything.

(i'm putting the episode in pause to write everything... So i don't have to do 10000 posts about this episode, so if you are reading this, hold your horses because this is going to be a long post (probably) not edited, from a person watching this in Europe starting to watch this at 3:11 am... And English is not my first language, so...sorry before hand)

LUKE!!! LUKE TALKING?! REALLY?! LIKE... COME ON!!! Don't do this to me... Not me vibing with the foreshadowing just in the begining of the episode.

THOSE WHO WENT ALL "WUAHHH WHERE'S THE TRAING LESSON FROM LUKE?" HERE IT IS!!! YOU REALLY THOUGHT THEY WON'T SHOW IT BEFORE MAKING PERCY FIGHT A GOD?! (I mean, they could have...but come on!... That would have being insane and would have make Percy to op and this works perfectly to remind us the "bond" between Percy and Luke at camp, just before what readers knew It was going to happen)

Oh~ i love the Ares doesn't take well that others think he can't have a single original thought... But i LOVE more that he literally decided to go with the "say hi to your mommy for me" like... Ares my man, god of war, sir... You fucked up so badly with just that... That kid is going to make Hephaestus and his chain-net over you and Aphrodite look like a fun story after Percy "son of Sally" Jackson finish humilliate you.

Aaaaand we got golden Blood + enemy for Life (Where's the curse, sir? Where's the "your sword will fail you when you most need it"?)

Uh! Pretty helmet~ I said it before, and i repeat myself, Hades has good taste in art.

I like the "the last war on olympus caused wwii" and not like the book, i like It better this way, like "everything is the gods fault" because It is. (I'm sure Luke will comment this at some point)

Also, Annabeth clueless because she wasn't there... I'm like, yeah, it's the one of the trio that could catch up just by context, she IS the wise girl after all.

THE NECKLACE WITH HER FATHER'S RING!!! OMG!!!! ANNABETH, DARLING, DEAR... I LOVE THIS, SO MUCH.

(Leah is Annabeth, look at her!!! If someone says something bad about her acting just because their racism... i hope Apollo write their names in the plague list or the bad music for the rest of their lifes one... I hope there's a list for that)

Grover: e-mail? Maybe?

Percy: *nah, it's time those gods know what they are dealing with* what's the Glory on that?

(Walter, dear boy, your face in that moment...perfect Percy moment just there)

OH MY GODS!!! I NEED A TOUR IN THAT OLYMPUS!!! but again...WHY THE FUCKING ARCHES?!?!?!

Okay... Hold on! HOLD ON!!! THEY DID A THING HERE I THINK COULD EXPLAIN THE FUCKING ARCHES...THE ARCHERS MIGHT NOT GIVE ME NIGHTMARES.

(Look behind, there are temples with easter asian architecture and i spot a building that reminds me a bit of Santa Sofia or Saint Peter of the Vatican... So... Maybe they are implying that not only the greek gods are chilling there in olympus? That could be interesting.)

Luke, i'm seeing you...

WoW!! Wooooo!!! Not the Annabeth IS terrify of spiders coming now and from him, Luke himself, just to say "hey! Demigods are small but if the gods thinks you are scary they'll kill you" GODS they are MAKING Luke soooo much justice, like, he needs to be like this if they didn't portrait him like this "big brother figure" it would be incomprehensible that so many Demigods will follow him. He IS a leader. He IS reliable.

Seriously, i'm in LOVE with all that Big city vibe of the olympus... Like... I Understand why Annabeth wants to be architect after seeing all that. (Disney, you better give us something good in the 5th season, and i have high hopes for the laberinth after seeing this)

I'm so sad about the death of Zeus actor... I'm liking a lot how he is acting Zeus, like a fucking CEO know-it-all Who thinks Percy is wasting his time saying things he already know but doesn't want to believe yet. "I will not be weaken by my brothers" darling, Zeus, that's the youngest brother part of you speaking. Shut the fuck up and listen to the kid.

Percy speaks facts.

Oh!!! Daddy Ken, i mean, Poseidon is here, protecting his kid~. (Better solution than turning him into a tree, actually showing up, heh!)

BEG YOUR FUCKING PARDON!? IM ALREADY EMOTIONAL BECAUSE MY OTHER FICTIONAL FATHER FIGURE IN MY OTHER SILLY SHOW MIGHT DIE THIS FRYDAY... WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU MADE POSEIDON SAY "I SURRENDER" TWICE!!! TO FUCKING ZEUS!!! TO PROTECT PERCY?! I FUCKING LOVE THE SHOW.

Hermes IS the FUCKING snitch of the olympus.

Poseidon : "Who knows about father?"

Zeus: "Ares, Hades, you, i... And fucking Hermes so..."

Both: "everyone, then..."

He really asked Mr. Impertinent if he is obedient?! Hahahaha... Poseidon, dear beach daddy, sir... He is yours and Sally's, what makes you think he'll be obedient?!

"Ares IS a moron" sooooo ... Percy speaks facts because he speaks his father language then. Sorry, this is funnier than i thought It would be. Poseidon being an affectionate father for like 3 seconds before the daddy issues kicked in and push his son away with magic...

THIS. This here with the victorius Hero looking at the defeated who even "dead" had safe his life. Because the mention of Thalia's death was enough for Zeus to spare Percy's life... She had save Percy by being dead and make her father feel guilty for that. Also, he left camp making jokes about the tree and Thalia's death, and look how serious and respectful he looks now. Admiring that tree, Thalia, and all what she means to the demigods... (Maybe i'm reading too much into It, but i liked this frames too much)

Did i spot a pair of twins?! I need the second season NOW and i'm not even half way of the last episode of the first one...

SECOND HUG OF ANNABETH TO PERCY!!! AND HE IS SMILING!!! BOY I WANT TO HUG THEM BOTH... MY BABYS...

Oh~ they are going to do this "Clarise IS guilty but we couldn't risk a war here" to the end so the show watchers don't see It coming. Okay... I like how they are doing this.

Luke and Percy alone in the forest while Annabeth watches Clarise... Yeah... This is it.

I like the lights changing colors because of the fireworks but just giving more dramatic contrast to all the scene. Oh~ Luke's face... My gods!! (These kids are making me insane with how good actors they are!!!)

Luke trying to recruit Percy because he sees himself reflected in Percy, with their mothers suffering because of the gods. "This wasn't to betray you Percy. My enemies are the gods." SEE!!! RIGHT THERE!!! THAT'S A BOY ABOUT TO REBEL AGAINST HIS FATHER, TRYING TO RECRUIT HIS FRIENDS BECAUSE HE IS RIGHT BUT USING THE WORSE WAYS POSSIBLE TO DO THINGS!!!

I said it before, and i'm saying It again... I LOVE THE SHOW.

BACKBITER!!!!! OH MY GODS!!! THAT SWORD IS...HAVE YOU ALL SEE THAT!!! IT FUCKING CUT ANYTHING.

"WE is the word Zeus fear most." And again, as i said above, he is so RIGHT and so wrong at the same time. Luke speech is a 10/10

Percy's reaction. PERCY'S REACTION!!! first to Luke's speech. And then when he wounded Luke with his own sword, he INMEDIATELY apologize to him. "Sorry, i didn't mean to..." Because he knows Luke is being manipulated by Cronos, he still sees him as a friend. And that's why he is scared, also because Luke cut him back, but because his friend is choosing to betray him.

WOOOO!!! ANNABETH?! WOOOOO... LUKE'S FACE!!! ANNABETH'S FACE!!! MY GODS!!! THOSE KIDS!!!

Chiron: "Cronos is persuasive"

Percy: "i'm a seaweed brain, stubborn as fuck... I'll be fine..."

I love Dionysus. Like...

Dionysus: "wait, wait, wait... Peter Johnson, why is everyone calling you Percy?"

Percy: "i'm Percy Jackson, that's my name"

Dionysus: "are you sure? You don't look like a Percy to me, Peter"

A seaweed brain, has being delivered and i'm vibing, living, happy...

ANNABETH IS GOING TO DISNEYWORLD AND PERCY SMILING MADE HER WORRY SHE WILL BE IN TROUBLE THERE!!! SHE IS SO ADORABLE!!! I'LL PROTECT THAT CHILD WITH MY LIFE, I SWEAR TO ALL THE GODS!!!

Grover!!! GROVER TELLING PERCY HE IS GOING TO SEARCH FOR PAN IN THE SEA!!! AND PERCY ACTING LIKE A NEPO BABY!!! LOVED IT!!!

Baby coming back to the beach House... Sally!!!!!!!!!!

Nooooooooooo... Fucking Cronos!!!!

Sally: *all worried* "another nightmare?"

Persassy: "grampa"

Sally: *i swear i saw her roll her eyes* "don't call him that"

I LIKE THE END OF GABE!!!! FUCK YOU GABE!!! Sally is divorcing him, change the locks and his first question to his lawyer is if he knows how to pick a lock... Fuck you, Gabe~

He turning himself into a statue because he opened a box for Percy (wich IS illegal) and after he called the head of Medusa gross... Poetic justice.

(i'm ending to watch this and write this at 5:22... My brain isn't braining anymore. So... Tomorrow i'll post a separated part about the thrones of the gods and maybe trying to put my degree in good use and picking all the art references i could and make a post about them)

#pjo tv show #percy jackon and the olympians #Percy Jackson spoilers #pjo episode 8 #seriously spoilers of everything

[fyodorloveclub]

ive been in a soft / self-care mood today so heres some soft dazai stuff <3

dazai being convinced to wear a facemask because of you. in the 10 minutes or so he needs to wear it before washing it off he goes crazy complaining about the stinging. after he takes it off his skin is super fucking soft. you peck kisses all over his face, and pay a little more attention to the scars, not that he minds of course.

next dazai sees you working on your nails. youre pushing back your cuticles and trimming them so you can paint them. naturally, dazai wants you to do this to him, so he starts indirectly talking about how amazing it would be for his nails to be painted. naturally, when painting his nails, you picked out a color. he would likely enjoy black or red the most, but i wanna see his face with pink nails, i think it would be adorable.

taking a bath! lighting candles that are either marketed to men (man wood coffee musk) or incredibly flowery and romantic, like roses. theres a bath bomb that turns the water pink, rose petals, wine, and classical music playing. ignoring the sexy direction this could turn since i promised soft stuff in this writing, it would be so relaxing laying on his stomach, with him playing with your hair after massaging it with shampoo. he would actually take off his bandages and let you change them after. naturally, you leave many hickeys over his scars that would normally be covered, its not like anyone would see them anyways ;)

and finally, cuddling. maybe youre both reading books while laying on the couch, limbs entangled. you both gasp and make small comments on what youre reading, including an incredulous "WHAT THE FUCK" after a particular plot twist. or, maybe youre watching a movie together. sharing popcorn, a blanket covering your legs, and osamu's hands wandering around a bit too much for whats supposed to be a relaxing movie (show restraint or youll NEVER finish it). if youre watching a horror movie or a mystery, he will know exactly whats going on, and he will comfort you if youre scared. mf will tease you to hell in back if you jump while being in his lap. if a spicy scene comes on youre screwed (literally). any sort of emotional scene, happy or sad, he deserves an oscar for how well he is portraying the socially acceptable reaction unless of course youre around. the only time he'll ever cry during movies is when theres a scene where a mentor dies (think dumbledore or gandalf). he wont cry loudly, but youll notice a single tear rolling down his cheek. and of course, rom-coms, romance movies, and comedys all give him ideas on how to mess with you and the rest of his friends.

-☕️ anon

PLSSSSSSSSSSS he'd so want to be a part of every single step of your self care but then complain about every one kalfskljflsd like you said he wouldn't like how the face mask felt, he would HATE getting his eyebrows tweezed, he would honestly complain abt even washing his face and how water got everywhere he's so annoying.

and he'd so be sooooo dramatic about you pushing back his cuticles and act like it hurt so fucking bad kdaljfklasdjflk but he'd literally be so adorable with painted nails he'd be like omg babe im pretty just like you :")

god taking a bath with him would be so fucking sweet akldffsljsjfk like you'd basically just be laying on top of him surrounded by pink water and bubbles and he'd have his arms around you, pressing kisses to your forehead and combing his fingers through your wet hair. he'd hum in your ear as he massaged your scalp with shampoo, mumbling about how much he loves you. he's just soooo soft with you always there's tears in my eyes TEARS IN ME EYES

dazai is SO the guy to talk through an entire movie (me too dlkafjaskl) like literally nothing can happen without this mf making a comment

I JUST WANT TO HAVE A SELF CARE NIGHT WITH THIS MAN SO BADLY I JUST WANT THIS MAN SO BADLY

#{ musings; dazai } #you are much stronger than me with your abilities to not make eveyrthing dirty #voices in my head #☕️ demon

[moonjxsung]

hi bb star💗 i love iced coffee so much, i hadn’t had one in over a week (bc i suck at making coffee at home and i hadn’t gotten my paycheck yet so i get my caffeine via tea) but as soon as i got it i splurged!

i loooove the fact that he’s posting these cute little covers and everyone is literally head over heels for him too like instagram itself commented on one of them😭 he’s such a sweet angel baby.

I DID SEE ABOUT ONEW AND I FANGIRLED SOOOO MUCH!! i was going to ask how how you were after seeing it! but i was like “maybe im being too annoying about shinee lately”😂. but he looks so good and healthy too!! i love how he just decided to make the most anticipated comeback news ever on a random tuesday. the wavy long hair though!! he’s so cute.

and you and your sis sending him a package is so cute!!! you having matching jewelry with onew is so slay too! i love this comeback so much🥹 im so ready for ot4 shinee again (and ofc baby jonghyun forever💜)

and for tofu update! they said that the ulcer was significantly smaller today and told us to keep up with the antibiotics and some eye lubricant for two weeks and they’ll re-check her. but we were panicking fr bc just as i was waiting in the waiting room a lady came in with a kitty and she told us that she had an eye ulcer too and lost her eye😭 but thankfully she’s fine💕🫶🏻

ily bb have the best weekend! muahhh!

-🐈‍⬛

SO GLADDDD TOFU IS OKAYYYYY OMG 🫶🫶🫶🫶 my sister and I were talking earlier today about when my cat got an eye infection and she was telling me that the doctor was sooo insistent we make sure it wasn’t another car who scratched her bc she very well could’ve lost her vision ☹️ at the time we knew she did it to herself but I can’t imagine if she was at risk for losing an eye or !! I would be panicking so bad 😭 also fun fact my older sister has a cat with just one he and he’s the sweetest thing ever 🥺 BUT ANYWAYSSSSS IM SO GLAD LIL TOFU IS OKAY I hope he continues to get better!!!! Ily tofu. This is a tofu fan acc 🫶💞💖💝

I had coffee today (and my weekly allotted little treat) and it was soooo good I literally only left the house today to get coffee and then I came straight home to be lazy again 😭

PLS. HANJI’S INSTAGRAM MAKES ME WANT TO CRYYYYYYYYYY I’m just so happy he’s posting whatever he wants to and he seems so unapologetically himself these days!!!!! I didn’t know how badly I needed Jisung’s personal instagram until now 🫶

ONEW COMEBACK WE WON SOOOOOO GOOOOOD oh my god please don’t ever be afraid of spamming my inbox with shinee stuff I LOOOOVE SHINEEEEEE I have like no shawol friends irl so talking about shinee on here fulfills me so much 😭😭 I CANT BELIEVE HE’S FINALLY BACKKK and he already has an official schedule for this month??? Like Onew headlining an award show in the year 2024?????? It still doesn’t feel real 😭😭 I’m going to Monterey with my family tomorrow and there’s this adorable little antique shop that sells so much cute jewelry so I’m planning on buying matching necklaces for me and my Onewman and then I need to write him a longggg letter about how much I love him ofc 👼 the way he’s been posting on his stories all surprised that people are sending him fan mail like sir you are ONEW…. FROM SHINEE……. Literally paved the way for kpop ‼️‼️‼️‼️ I WILL KEEP U POSTED AS SOOOOON AS I DELIVER ONEW CARE PACKAGE ily so much bby have the best weekend!!!!!! 💖💞💘💝👼 relax and do something healing for yourself you deserve it so much ily ily (also pc of the day with my Marge Sherwood bag my sweater matches Channie’s AND peep my new lil keroppi keychain I love him so much 👼🫶)

#🐈‍⬛ anon #ask

[sophaeros]

3 13 15 20!!!!

3. humbug or tbh+c?

THIS IS AN EVIL EVIL QUESTION AND I CANNOT BELIEVE OP WOULD WRITE IT OR THAT YOU WOULD ASK ME THIS!!!!!! humbug is so very immortal for its moody unabashed horniness but tbhc is so..Is So.....when it hits you it really hits you. it's so cinematic and i can't help but love that. BUT HUMBUG..ITS PIVOTAL TURN AND OBLIQUE LYRICS......but also the narrative and Imagery of tbhc. i dont know i dont know i dont want to give a cop out answer. OK IDK MAYBE HUMBUG??it has a range of sounds that are nonetheless cohesive + i love how he switches between obfuscating clever wordplay and kitchen sink slices of miserable time. very hashtag inspiration. my new homescreen in progress is literally tbhc tho so WAILING EMOJI

13. what are some of your favourite lyrics alex has written? (doesn't have to be arctic monkeys, can also include tlsp/ other artist collaborations/the submarine soundtrack)

OK SO I HAVE A CHANNEL IN MY PERSONAL DISCORD SERVER FOR LINES THAT INSPIRE ME BC SOME OF THEM PISS ME OFF IN HOW THEY FEEL LIKE I COULD HAVE WRITTEN THEM IF I WAS JUST A LITTLE BETTER AND MORE WIRED. here are some

when the heat starts growing horns / she's thunderstorms

in the backroom of a bad dream (i'll feel bad if it turns out miles wrote this one)

like in my heart there's that hotel suite / and you've lived there so long / it's kind of strange now you're gone

is that vague sense of longing kinda tryna cause a scene?

LIKE FUCKIN..first one drives me insane forever i dont even know why. for one thing i'm forever in awe of how he slots words into melodies like i can't write music man maybe i'll learn this year but it blows my fucking mind how he makes them sound so good And that they rhyme. and his imagery is just off the charts like u listen to it and ur like fuck that makes so much SENSE even as ur hit w HOW THE FUCK DID HE THINK OF THAT. i can't even articulate what it is about shes thunderstorms that gets me so bad.

2 and 3 are just. idk i love how he conceptualises these abstract places. like it brings these nebulous feelings and vibes and locates them in a solid place but also with surreal imagery. idkidk it just blows my mind im so mad maybe i should make a compilation of lines like these

4 just hits hard bc it's saur relatable LMAO. just fuckin the phrase "cause a scene" with the vague feeling of longing.......URGH. song made for aimless artists having an identity and existential crisis.

15. favourite arctic monkeys b-side?

UMUM UM . SO VERY MANY. ok the on brand answer would be catapult but TRUTHFULLY i find myself always going back to too much to ask. every time it comes on i have to loop it at least twice. im just soooo very enraptured by how he captures the mundane and the slow frustration the impending sense of doom. the whole song has such a like..inevitable vibe. the song trucks on at a steady pace all leading toward the ending realisation that really you could already see coming from the very first line.

20. favourite record ender track?

GOD it's gotta be a three way tie between that's where youre wrong, i wanna be yours and the ultracheese. actually perfect sense is in there too. four way tie.

thats where youre wrong to me really encapsulates this breezy sense of melancholy thats so distinctive of the sias album. it just moves so lightly like a clear day when spring is shading into summer but it's so undeniably Sad. it coming after sias is the perfect one two punch of this exact vibe.

BUT I WANNA BE YOURS. MY BABY. I LOVE HER BADLY the simplicity of it the pure unadulterated longing and desperation. i would fucking do ANYTHING to be yours i would make myself so useful and devoted just for you to deign to say you need me. it just brings you to another dimension man. blast it on your headphones at 3am and you will unlock a never seen before depth of hell called longing. it just strips the whole am album down to its core (ie pleaesepleasepleaspelepalseplease text me back)

the ultracheese. lies down. it's everybody's favourite. and for GOOD REASON. the insanity of ending on a gutwrenchingly honest confession after an entire album about fantasy and escape. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT KIND OF ACTUAL FUCKING SICKO ENDS ON "but i haven't stopped loving you once." ARGHHHH and musically it's like it's so very tbhc. is the best way i can say it. the tbhc album's sound and atmosphere put to fucking Work.

perfect sense makes me want to walk off a cliff and lie down in the dirt forever and ever and ever. if ultracheese was a confession perfect sense is a rumination. i was going to say it's like relief if relief tasted like whiskey but idk if i can even really say relief it's just like. i think it's also quite special to me because i do sincerely believe that by and large things will work out in the end and something unremarkable in your past will come to be the perfect solution in your future and back then it appeared just as it was meant to. it's like going on a long journey so that you could learn that where you began is what you needed and that doesnt mean the journey was a waste because you needed it yknow. i know there were people being like ohhh oh no tc is their last album and like perfect sense has such end of movie vibes but only the kind of ending where you know the characters are going to continue on past the end of the reel. yknow.

so idk maybe i will say either perfect sense or thats where youre wrong because i listen to thats where youre wrong a lot but clearly i have Feelings about perfect sense

thanks for the ask bug!! <3

#ask #folaireamh #ask game #arctic monkeys #i feel many things about am.......also idk if any of this makes sense becaus emuch of what i feel is difficult to articulate..!! #gonna sleep now will check my inbox again tmr!!

[bloop-im-a-frog-now]

If The Gods Were Kind — pizza

Second hurt/comfort story! I loved writing this one. I’m a bit scared I wrote the bad day like, too stereotypical. I’ve had bad mental health days, but just health wise? Not really. So, hopefully, I didn’t mess up too badly. But like I said, I really liked writing this scene, it’s filled with hurt but soooo much domestic fluff, like, just them <333

Master Post

— —

Content warnings: Panic attack, meltdown, internalized ableism, ableist language. The beginning is rough, pls stay safe <3

Scar bolted out of bed, hyperventilating. He clutched the blankets, closed his eyes and tried to hold back tears. He wondered if that ever worked for anyone, holding back tears that were about to spill any second now. He swallowed a sob and gasped a breath. His eyes glanced to the bed on the other side of the room. Wings ruffled against the sheets and a small noise came out from them, but they stopped after a couple of milliseconds. 

His hand trembled as he pulled the covers away from his boiling body, trying desperately to put the dream in the back of his mind. Pizza wasn’t dead, Etho confirmed it, Tango even pointed out the sign on the little shack Scar built for her. He ignored the amount of strength he used to get rid of the blankets, and tossed his legs at the edge of the bed, taking deeper breaths, just to calm himself, to remind himself everything was fine, it was just a dream, get a grip on yourself . 

His mind didn’t register the ache and the heaviness in his hips and calves when his feet met the ground. He was too busy trying to stay silent, trying to make the horrible nightmare go away, to really register his body was trembling and was struggling to even hold him up tight. He carded a hand through his messy hair (was it getting longer?) and took one deep breath before getting up. His body immediately slumped back onto the bed. He groaned, rubbing his hands against his face and pulling his hair. Was now really a good time?

His eyes searched for his crutches, his cane, anything to distract him from his dream and from his stubborn body, as even moving his neck took too much energy. He rolled his shoulders back, but it only aggravated the ache. When he realized that not only hadn't he fallen asleep in the bedroom but in the kitchen, his cane was probably also there. It’s not a far walk, but he couldn’t remember where he last put his crutches. Why weren’t they in this room?

He wiggled his toes, hoping his legs could support his weight until he reached the kitchen. His mind started to look for places he could hold himself to, while wondering how he wound up in his bed if he fell asleep in the kitchen. Was it Grian? Grian was by no means an early bird, and Scar would much rather he slept the most out of the two of them, but was he strong enough to carry Scar all the way to their bedroom? He had to remind himself, as he used the last energy in his arms to clench the bedpost, that the kitchen wasn’t really that far. It gave him hope he could make it without waking Grian up. 

The house was boiling when he finally arrived in the kitchen and sat on a chair. He didn’t have anything in his inventory, he doubted he could make his body move once more to get the food in their storage system, and he was so glad he had foregone the armor yesterday. He was overheating, he might need some water, but he just let himself feel the cold furniture coarse with sand. 

His eyes caught his cane and his crutches side by side close to the ladder, and he let out a sigh of relief. Grian just placed them together, in an obvious spot. Scar wished he had put them to his bedside, but the last time his body gave him trouble, it was eighteen days ago.

After settling on Monopoly Mountain, Scar could barely walk, let alone do other tasks that were needed to do that day. Grian had simply forced him to sit on a chair and brought Pizza up the mountain, so Scar could do something with his hands. 

His throat clogged at the thought of Pizza, petting her fuzzy fur, already infested by sand and dirt, feeding her carrots they had stolen from the village, calling her a good girl, and adjusting her headband and her saddle. He missed Pizza. He missed her so much, she didn’t deserve all the hate and the teasing the others inflicted upon her. He just wanted his llama back. His mind wandered back to his nightmare, and he pulled his hair to stop thinking about it, it was only a dream, she didn’t die . 

A sob escaped his mouth and he let his head fall on the table. His shoulder blades and hips complained, a gnawing feeling between them and on his waist. He really didn’t know how he should sit. Should he slouch? Should he roll his shoulders back and sit up straight? Maybe he needed food and water. Should he yell at Grian to wake him up? No, his companion needed sleep, who knew at what time he went to bed. 

“Scar?” A rough voice called. 

Scar froze. Did he wake up Grian? He turned his head slightly to the entrance of the kitchen, not too much so that it required all of his lasting energy, but enough to see one macaw wing stretching out, looking fluffier than the last time he saw it. Grian sat down and inspected him, arms crossed against the table. Scar barely moved. 

“What are you doing sitting here, looking into nothingness?” Grian’s face lightened up a bit, slightly amused. 

Now that Scar thought about it, it was kind of silly sitting here, doing nothing. But he did not appreciate the lighthearted remark when he was hungry, frustrated, thirsty, boiling, and cursing at his body for making his life ten times more complicated. 

He simply sighed in reply, looking at the table instead of those lightning green irises. Grian hummed and stood up.

“You hungry?”

Scar hummed. He wasn’t sure if he simply didn’t have the energy to form words or if the morning dryness in his throat clogged the words in it. He did cry, it might’ve contributed. He heard Grian rummaging in their food barrel. 

“What do you want?”

Scar did not reply. He was simply hungry. He would eat anything at this point. He was mostly thinking how to relieve this ache, this soreness in his muscles. A piercing pain traveled through them, it hurt and he did not want to deal with that, did not want to think about it. 

“I’m making applesauce, the apples are getting bad.”

Grian showed him the apples, asking him if he was actually holding the fruit, and Scar nodded. Grian squinted his eyes as he concentrated on making them food. Scar focused on the noises Grian made around the kitchen. The pots and pans clanging together, the harsh chopping noise, the swish sound the knife made against the peel, the bubbles of the boiling water, anything to distract him from the muscles spasms and the weight on his shoulder, the tension around his neck. 

He didn’t know how long he sat there, listening, picking at his nails, while Grian cooked. His head perked up when the bowl clanked against the table. Grian sat down and started eating, eyeing Scar. Scar tried to pick up the spoon, he really did. His upper arm didn’t stop spasming, he couldn’t control his movement, so he kept his arm close to his side, letting it pass. He looked at the applesauce and just wished his body could fulfill its own needs without throwing a fit. 

Grian stood up, placed his chair next to Scar’s, and sat down with a big thunk , making Scar jump in surprise. Grian took his bowl and almost shoved the spoon in his mouth. He moved back, a grunt bubbling in his throat and his muscles whining at the sudden movement. Grian rolled his eyes and sighed.

“Scar, you need help and I am offering said help.”

Scar glared at the spoon in Grian’s hand, wishing all the deadly curses at it. Grian huffed, frustrated.

“Sometimes you just need a break and there’s nothing wrong with that. Look, nobody is gonna come bother us if you don’t want to see people. Heck, I’m sure if I explained the situation to everyone, they would totally understand.” Grian’s shoulders slumped, and Scar wondered if that’s how puppy eyes looked. “Please, Scar?”

Scar hesitated. He was hungry, but he really didn’t want Grian to actually be his servant. It was a fun concept, at first. He really hoped Grian was doing this out of the goodness of his heart. He cleared his throat.

“Not part of the debt,” he murmured, making sure to look deep into those electric green eyes, even if they intimidated him. 

Grian blinked at him owlishly. “Of course not!” His accent was more pronounced than usual. “You’re not well, let me help.”

Scar shifted his gaze to the bowl and nodded. Grian fed him, making sure he wouldn’t choke on the applesauce. It was quite good for smashed boiled apples. He could taste some of the sugarcane they started cultivating close to the edge of the roof of the mountain. It sweetened the aftertaste of the acidic flavor the apples left. Scar was quite impressed, and it did fill a hole in his stomach, even giving him a bit more energy. 

After being satiated, Grian moved behind Scar, rolled up the sleeves of his red sweater and dug his thumbs on Scar’s lower neck. Scar winced and inhaled through his teeth, making Grian stutter in his movements.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

The movement became gentler, rolling his thumbs against the tense part of Scar’s neck. It was quite relaxing, but a lingering pain made the gesture quite uncomfortable, as if someone was applying pressure to a newly formed wound. Scar didn’t complain though, he appreciated the physical touch and was glad to know Grian became comfortable with him enough to touch him like this. He hummed in pleasure when Grian’s thumbs massaged his shoulders and traveled against his biceps, feeling the tension loosen up. Grian let out a chuckle.

“Jeez, Scar, are you stressed or something?”

Scar tensed, immediately thinking of his nightmare. The thumbs stopped circling his deltoid, and Grian’s long nose appeared in his peripheral vision. 

“What are you worried about?”

Scar sighed and looked up at the ceiling. Grian’s right hand left his shoulder while his left hand rounded the other before squeezing it reassuringly. His gaze landed on wide bright emerald eyes, on a slightly freckled nose that almost looked like a beak without looking crooked, on rosy cheeks, on dirty blond curls that frame a concerned face. Scar never realized how majestic Grian looked.

“Scar?” Grian inquired.

Scar put his hand on the one holding his shoulder, to touch where he was permitted to. 

“Pizza,” he let out. Grian quirked an eyebrow. “Had a nightmare about her dying,” he confessed, closing his eyes and rubbing his thumb against Grian’s knuckles. 

“Oh, Scar.” A warmed hand wormed itself close to the base of his hair. He shuddered.

“I miss her, G.”

“I know.” The hand nested itself in his hair, bringing his head to Grian’s shoulder. He stuttered a breath.

“Why did they take her away? She didn’t do anything, she didn’t deserve that.”

Scar let out a sob, his body slack from easing tension out with his crying. Grian shushed him, playing with his hair, scrubbing his scalp. It felt amazing, even if the tension in his neck was back. He grabbed the hand that was playing with his hair, stood straighter on his seat, and brought the hand closer to his chest, letting his other hand fall and grasp Grian’s thigh. Grian’s hand was now slowly rubbing circles, and Scar couldn’t be more relieved to receive physical touch.

Grian shushed him again, whispering “I know ” over and over, reassuring Scar that Pizza was alive, that she probably got lost. He took his hand out of Scar’s grasp and brought it to his cheek, wiping the tears away as they came and tracing his scar that jagged his cheekbone. He leaned in closer and Scar could smell the faint applesauce in his breath.

“You’re so strong, Scar,” Grian murmured, landing his forehead against Scar’s. “I’m so proud of you.” Scar did a whole body shiver at the praise, not realizing his cheeks got warmer with the already warm room. Jade eyes locked on his sunflower’s ones, barely an inch between their faces. “Can I kiss you?”

It was so quiet, but it echoed in Scar’s ears. He slowly nodded, not knowing what to expect. Grian wiped dry his cheeks and leaned his lips slowly against Scar’s. When their lips met, Scar wasn’t sure how to respond, what he was supposed to do. Grian’s lips were warm, chapped by the dryness of the desert, and were pressing harder. In order to not lose balance, Scar pushed back and wondered what was the purpose of this action.

Grian pulled back and surveyed Scar’s face. He smiled, placed his arms around Scar’s neck, and hugged him, face buried in the crook of his neck. Scar was taken by surprise and placed one hand on Grian’s waist, while the other rested on his shoulder blade, not sure how far or how close his hand should be to the wings. 

“We’ll find her, Scar. We’ll find her and prove to everyone to never mess with us, and that’s a promise.”

Scar sniffed and let out a choke sob, circling his arms around Grian’s waist and muffling his cries of joy in Grian’s sweater. Grian petted his hair once more and they stayed there in a long silence, sometimes interrupted by Scar’s sniffles and Grian’s reassurance and praise.

<- Prev _  Master Post _ Next ->

#desert duo #kinda wanna tag scarian #but the romantic feelings are one-sided #bc scar sees this asa platonic relationship #but not grian #so... i guess its technically a queerplatonic relationship? #but they have not labeled it #so desert duo it is #gtws #goodtimeswithscar #grian #grianmc #third life smp #third life #3lsmp #3rd life smp #trafficblr #trafficshipping #a summary of this would be #scar has a panic attack bc he cant find pizza #and hes having a bad health day #so grian takes care of him #bloop's attention seeking strategy

[foxymoxynoona]

Oh my god hi foxy sooo I just finished MM chapter 4 and well what can I say this is going to make me sound a little crazy but Sasha is so much better than me? I would’ve pulled a Beyoncé in Hold up, a Taylor Swift in Blank Space. In the tattoo shop. Make Naoko and JK be my number one priority. That is, in terms of hiding their bodies.

When he goes “she’s controlling, she’s jealous and she doesn’t trust me”. Okay. Sir. My guy. On behalf of all the women in the world, or at least on this blog: fuck you🫶🏻

Okay no I love jk but yeah I would’ve dumped his ass without second thoughts. And NO not because “they were on a break!!” (Sorry I rewatched friends recently lol) but you’ve been in this relationship for quite a while now, made mistakes, gone through hell and back AND STILL YOU PULL THIS BULLSHIT? Nah ah, not on my watch. I’m so happy he has more emotionally mature friends that make him realize how much of a fucking red flag he is sometimes. When he goes “she was a bitch first!!” Ugh… my boy. I honestly get his point of view. He has always felt babied and like he couldn’t make one decision on his own, so when even this grown up decision has opposition he probably feels so mad. But, in all honesty: you were lucky she was not ACTUALLY a bitch☠️. could’ve gone a lot worse. Broken some noses and shit.

I’m happy she eventually decided to be the bigger person and call him to take back what she said. “Happy” as in: jk shouldn’t be relieved, she just showed him how much more mature she is than him.

Okay now I get why 🌚 tells me I’m too attached to Sasha and that I defend her no matter what. 🤭

I’m sorry I’ve had an awful week with men that treat you like you’re shit under their shoe. JK you chose the wrong time to make be objective about this… you better run!🔪🔪🔪

🌸

One thing I find really interesting about writing Sasha is that she blows up at different times than people necessarily expect, and also that she is sometimes SO defensive and strong and other times badly in need of shelter and protection. Poor girl is building identity and emotional maturity before our very eyes, but it means we get both more explosive anger towards JK and ALSO more submissiveness in situations she might have walked away from before. Although she doesn't tend to be the one who ends relationships in her life..... 😎

I am secretly SOOOO happy when readers have a strong response and insist they wouldn't stand for bad treatment when it comes out in characters. I don't just mean here but in many of my stories. I think there's a big difference between glorifying problems or bad behavior and just showing them, and that it's a way we grow our own sense of what we will or won't stand for in our real life relationships. I definitely stayed in relationships i shouldn't have for longer than I should have, and I think it's wonderful to see strength not to do that in others. I'm not saying throw the towel in over every minor mistake, but not staying in a bad situation for whatever excuse is just such an important value lesson to learn, especially for women...

Anyway :) I'm introspective because I'm working on the next chapter LOL Always a pleasure to hear from you. Looks like you're on Michele's "gut him" team.

#🌸anon #my matryoshka #asks

[ahdriking]

Soooo we both now why I'm here - you updated Blue Blood and I'VE LOVED IT??? WHAT THE HECK AHDRI

You really ticked off most of the boxes with that one, the feral Porsche? The tender and horny tending to the wounds? Kinn going on his knees for Porsche? Oh my god and the description of Porsche as the canvas that Kinn is going to cover I'M AHHHHHHHH

Also Kinn calling Porsche a good boy? My, my, I almost died by the third time, that was just so fucking hot and praise kink Porsche my beloved

The mole reveal was fucking perfect

But coming back to the two fucks ups that we adore - KINN'S NEED TO TAKE CARE OF PORSCHE LIKE YESSS, also that bit about Kinn wanting to keep him almost made me feral

I am feeling very crazy and incredibly incoherent about this chapter, I cannot state how much I adored it

Thank you for writing it Ahdri it was a true pleasure to read 💓

Have a good day/night 💕

DOM!!! 🥰🥰 I have to say, looking forward to your unhinged asks has become a bit of a highlight for me! I'm so glad you liked the new chapter!! It was a hell of a doozy to come back to after a break so I was a bit nervous about it, but the reception has been amazing so i'm SUPER RELIEVED. After how badly I fucked Porsche up, I figured he deserved some decent after care 🥲

I'M SO GLAD I TICKED YOUR BOXES. You can expect more of Kinn calling Porsche a good boy in the future ��

#kinnporsche #blue blood #ahdris asks

[so2uv]

you're tuning into the jj radio show.. here are some sort-of monthly roundups!!! (but kind of last months too its only been september for like 2 weeks). idk if any of them will be ur thing but i hope u like at least one out of the 10 i picked >_^

3005, childish gambino. god. this is just the song ever for me i cant explain why i love it so much i just DO. sol.. to be honest.. i'll right by ur side til 3005. ITS JSUT SOOOO.

追われてる, soul scream. INCREDIBLE!!! THIS IS REAL MUSIC!!! THIS IS CRAZYYYY. OWARETERU ❗ OWARETERU 💢 OWARETERUU 💥 like some people wouldnt even get it for real.

make luv, brent faiyaz. CRUSHING something in my hands right now. IDK HOW HE DOES ITTTT when he makes sth good he makes sth GOOD do u get me. i might explode.

100,000 - unfinished, jai paul. shoving this song into the hands of anyone who'll listen. every time i listen to this song i think the “And when you think you know what I know / A hundred thousand light years to go” near the end wont hit as hard because i've sort of built up a resistance to it and then it SHOOTS ME IN THE HEADDD. too good.

trick me, kelis. the tasty (2003) album gets me INSANE there is not a singular miss on there for me. and this song... oh its so bad rn. im obsessed with it. like im going crazy. Hepl!

1 thing, amerie. i hear this song and suddenly i can sing i can dance and i can walk in 6-inch heels! and also this isnt that relevant to the song but her hair on the touch album cover.. IT EATS IDEK

two moons, exo-k. you might've heard this before but if not IT NEEDS TO BE HEARDDDD this is literally one of my fave exo songs.

the 7th sense, nct u. you might've heard this too sorry 😓😓 BUT HOW CAN I NOT SUGGEST THIS LIKE ? changed my life forever. when mark lee said “uh, and that's a long-ass ride” i think some part of me just passed away. that IS a long ass ride. 1 thing mark lee's never gonna do is lie!!

taking what's not yours, tv girl. THIS SONG IS SO FUNNYYY. and also very good. BUT ITS SO PETTY LIKE STOP I GIGGLE EVERY TIME I LISTEN 😭 “Ooh, I still have your lighter / Ooh, I still have your book” LIKE HE SOUNDS SO ANNOYING LMFAOO

iii. telegraph ave, childish gambino. had to start and end w him!!! again HOW IS HE SO CRAZY LIKE THISSS. got me moving and floating and ascending and dying. its serious. i love it.

and thats it! like i said i hope u like at least 1 ☹️ THIS WAS FUN I RLY ENJOYED TYPING OUT MY SILLY LITTLE THOUGHTS.. but i will shut up now LOL. time for you to switch to a different station, because the jj radio show is over!! (LMAOO OK ROLEPLAY)

3005: not bad not bad! rap isn't my favourite genre but the lyricism is great and it's honestly really nice to listen to while staring out a window :DD

追われてる: the intro was funky in a good way! love the rhythm and it's catchy in a way that has me bobbing along to it.

make luv: not really my vibe but the chorus is enjoyable. smth id put on my fic writing playlist ngl 👍

100,000 - unfinished: THE SWITCH UP AT THE BEGINNING AYOOO??! from the heavy rap to sudden vocals then merging the two is so 😩😩 i love the vibes of it. “a hundred thousand light years to go” ‼️‼️‼️‼️ i love how the words are staggered; it’s jerky the speech but it works so well

trick me: again, the song itself isn't for me specifically but the lyricism is to die for. "freedom to us has always been a trick // freedom to you has always been who ever landed on your dick" LIKE HELLO??? YES I LOVE THIS audibly went "ooooh" when i heard it. the rap is amazing too

1 thing: ok the intro ok it's nice its nice. OOH THE VOCALS I LIKE THIS TBH it's so fun??! if i weren't hacking my lungs out id totally get up and dance very badly to this (pretend like im an edit or like part of a clip compilation or smth yes yes)

two moons: the beginning is very cool, i like the beat and the rapping! ok when it picks up around 0:59 and they start saying two moons and stuff 💥💥💥 honestly did not expect to like this as much as i actually do :00 added it to my main playlist too 😼😼

the 7th sense: "OPEN YOUR EYES" OMG I LOVE THE CHORUS like my eyes are open and im sat. I GET WHAT YOU MEAN WITH THE MARK LINE!!!! nah ok this is going on the main playlist bc yes.

taking what’s not yours: THIS??? SLAPS??? i don't listen to enough tv girl shit i should be- the beat is such a good walking song i will climb a mountain listening to this. “ooh, i still have your lighter // ooh, i still have your book // ooh i still have everything you bought, but you never took” this right here. makes me want to- *explodes*

iii. telegraph ave: OMG THE DROP thought this was going to be a slower song but. the shift. the switch up 😫

omg this was fun!! pls music recs are amazing i love getting them

#✉️. love letters ! #— from: pb with a side of jj.

[mattohonbung]

kulan cafe

🇸🇴 somali

📍 skyline aka build america plaza in bailey's crossroads, falls church, virginia

📅 dinner; July 2023. 1st time

😋 overall: I literally have no metric for somali food but since it's the only one of its kind in the area, I hope it sticks around. I love getting surprise sides, and they know how to season their damn meat!!!! I'd come back in a heartbeat.

more food pix + detailed review under the cut!

🍵 not pictured is the tea we ordered, 1 cup each. it came out PIPING HOT so we had to wait a bit, but it was so wonderfully spiced (cardamom?). sweet too, but a little too sweet that it got a little cloying once it cooled down. at room temp, all the spices made it taste a little medicinal; reminded me of a natural cough syrup or something. I'd order it again but drink it while it's still hot.

🍚🐔 rice w/ chicken suqar - this was my fav dish! the chicken was soooo tender and well-spiced (not much else you can say about it when you can't identify spices that well lmfao all I know is that i loved every bite). the rice took up half the plate and then some! I loved that it came with raisins; it reminds me of afghan pulao.

I would SO get this again!!!!!!

🥗 didn't take a separate photo of the salad that came with this dish but it was pretty good. I liked taking bites of it in between these heavier meat dishes. the vinaigrette helped lift it! I'd get it again.

it reminds me of the side of salad that kabob places usually include. I wonder if salads are a western influence and what kinds of vegetables are native to Somalia.

🫓🐑 sabaya w/ lamb - it's always a gamble getting lamb or goat from restaurants but I'm so glad I did cos this lamb wasn't dry whatsoever and I loooved the spice rub on it. there were some chewy parts that I had to spit out but it was prob tendon so that's to be expected.

also I was drooling the moment I saw them bring out this plate cos the flatbread looked sooo flaky BUT it ended up being chewy and dry af 😔 it was difficult to pull apart 😢😢😢 I'm genuinely so sad about this cos it prevented this whole meal from being a solid 10

I wouldn't get a dish with sabaya again. I'd have a dish with lamb again tho! maybe I'll try their pasta next time.

🥘 unknown side that has potatoes, peas, and ??? - lol right after the cashier/server brought out the sabaya w/ lamb, he was like "I'm not done!!!" and brought out THIS DISH. and then he was like "NOW the dish is complete." thank god he did cos that sabaya needed moisture... badly

didn't even know that the dish even had sides so i'm not sure how to get it again... but I definitely want it again. I love tasting a delicious spice combination for the first time 🥰

they brought this out a little late into the meal but they also gave us a bowl of their house-made hot sauce, which was made of jalapenos. it wasn't that spicy (tbf the server told us that as he put it down) but its freshness helped lift some items.

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💲 price - $17-$20 for each plate, which I think is fair given the generous portion sizes. definitely stuffed 2 people, with some food left over (mostly carbs haha)

🗒️ other notes - it didn't taste salty or anything while I was eating but once I got home, i was SO THIRSTY i downed half my water bottle like a whale. 🐋

anyway the cashier/server was really friendly to us. after he asked us to rate the food, he made a point to tell us that everyone cooking this food is family and actually from somalia, not like "other restaurants" (who most likely have latino people working in the back).

this plaza feels like the ethiopian version of eden center. hoping i'm not cursing the place as I write this but I wonder when fairfax county will start drooling over the land as ripe for redevelopment and ethiopians will have to organise for anti-gentrification like viet folks are rn (if you're reading this, follow viet place collective)

#somali #bailey's crossroads #falls church #virginia #dinner