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“humans don’t do anything for free” somewhere out there there is a guy who spent days if not weeks of his life cataloguing every stupid thing you can do on stardew valley so that you can minmax the fuck out of growing potatoes on a pixel grid for quite literally no reason but that it might help someone else

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yo mama so crumb that strong ants took her away forever

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it is so jarring and weird when a fantasy book is like “ok let’s go around the circle and have each character talk about which lgbt umbrella category they identify with” like ok your fantasy world doesn’t have to be feudal europe but can it not be 2023 twitter please

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mutuals come over and do this

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when i was post op after top surgery i had a good friend there with me to help recover. but the nurse didnt get the memo and when i woke up she was like “ok i’m gonna go get your girlfriend and bring her in to see you!” and i remember being so zonked on anesthesia and so disoriented i just laid there thinking wow…… all that an they’re bringing me a girlfriend too this place is amazing

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#I think I only know one song by an artist from my state #OH WAIT I EO KNOW AN ARTIST FROM HERE #I’d be okay ish #not good but I could cope

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did you know you can take flight safety cards off of planes I have like 12 million its like youre taking a piece of them home with you

the plane equivalent of hotel shmapoo

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Another year, another group of my delightful ninth graders trying to spell the word "tragedy" for their Romeo and Juliet assignment.

Last year's collection

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Dog was shook

#puppy dog

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Nurse giving me report on a patient: and by the way so you’re not caught off guard, he has a tattoo that says “confident fag” on his chest

Me, a confident dyke: haha nice

The nurse: what?

Me: sorry I’m also gay and think that tattoo rules

The nurse: ????????

Me:

Me remembering I don’t hear so good: what did you say the tattoo was?

The nurse: a confederate flag

Me: OH NO WAIT OOPS

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The legacies people leave behind in you.

My handwriting is the same style as the teacher’s who I had when I was nine. I’m now twenty one and he’s been dead eight years but my i’s still curve the same way as his.

I watched the last season of a TV show recently but I started it with my friend in high school. We haven’t spoken in four years.

I make lentil soup through the recipe my gran gave me.

I curl my hair the way my best friend showed me.

I learned to love books because my father loved them first.

How terrifying, how excruciatingly painful to acknowledge this. That I am a jigsaw puzzle of everyone I have briefly known and loved. I carry them on with me even if I don’t know it. How beautiful.

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when god closes a door (gothcicle) he opens a window (faggy clubcicle)

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So close yet so far

#puppy dog #oh sweet baby

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