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extremelyblackandwhite · 2 years

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‘cause i remember it | lee bodecker

PAIRING: lee bodecker x reader

WARNINGS: affairs, age gap (reader is younger than lee), character death

A/N: it’s still angst town in knockemstiff.

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3 YEARS AGO

Lee stood on his feet for at felt like the thousandth hour of the evening, observing families and couples walk side to side through the end of the summer fair chatting and not getting themselves into trouble thus rendering him particularly useless. Normally, he’d have a rookie do this or any fool office who wanted to please him do this but with the elections coming about, he thought doing the surveillance of the fair himself would be of admirable and make him look good. Nevertheless, he still hated it. It was boring and he felt like a living statue, mostly catching and telling teens off for drinking.

He leaned against one of the poles buried in the ground, looking at the same sight he’d been looking at since late afternoon except this time there was something different. Through the middle of all the crowds, someone stood out in a scarlet red dress holding a paper cup with a brown lining. He attempted to divert his gaze but he couldn’t. She was breathtakingly beautiful.

- Good evening, sheriff. - god, she sounded beautiful too. - My dad told me to bring over some coffee.

- Thanks. - he smiled, taking the cup from her.

- I’m Y/N, I’m Frank’s daughter. - she extended her hand with a warm smile. She looked adorable, gloriously bathed by yellow light which reflected off the copper clip on the left side of her head.

- I didn’t know Frank had a girl, thought he had a boy.

- That’s my brother, I’m the youngest.

- Well, I’m Sheriff Lee Bodecker. - he shook her hand.

- Should I call you by all that?

- You can call me whatever you want.

PRESENT

The bell rang as she walked through the diner main entrance. Suddenly all eyes were on her, pity filed eyes which almost spoke “What will be of her?”. Some gave her kind smiles, some grabbed her arm and said I’m sorry. Truth was, she still didn’t know how to react, what to say or if to smile and say it’s fine. It wasn’t fine, she felt awful and all she wanted was to go back to the only places where her father’s essence still lingered. Nowhere was it stronger than here; his pride and joy, his diner. She still remembered being in his arms when he first took her in to show her around the new renovations and the new pink tables which were now fading into beiges with coffee stain rings. In the back of her mind, she’d always imagine bringing her own child in her arms, and order a huge cake while the whole diner sang happy birthday. He always did that for her, always made her feel like the centre of his universe. Yet, the tables were no longer pink and he was no longer here.

She had at least managed to finally get off the clothes she had been wearing; now wearing something more presentable, in her mother’s words. A black dress, black shoes and the copper necklace meant for Vivian around her neck.

- Oh, honey. - Dorothy noticed her from the corner of her eye, ignoring whatever customer she was serving to wrap her arms around her. - How are you doing, hun?

- I still don’t know how to answer that question. I just wanted to check on you and Al, I knew dad was a friend.

- We’re alright, sweetheart. - Al walked out the kitchen, patting her shoulder in a caring manner. - Better than when Alice was here. What do you want to eat?

- I’m fine, I don’t nee ...

- Nonsense. - Dorothy urged her to sit on one of the free tables. - Al will make you your favourite and you sit here with me, alright?

- It’s really not necessary.

- Just sit. - Dorothy took a seat next to her. Her eyes lingered on her necklace before they looked up to her. She waited until Al was back into the kitchen, busy with cooking to finally speak again. - He��s not bothering you again is he? I told him not to, that opportunistic ...

- He didn’t do anything. - Y/N interrupted her. - Just came to give his condolences.

- I’ve told him countless times, honey. Even after he went to New York, I told him to leave you alone.

- New York? - there it was again. New York. Suddenly his words were back in her mind, his accusation of not wanting him, of following her. She’d been too caught up in her grief to unbox all of that, to even consider what it meant. Lee liked to lie, he used to lie to get what he wanted so she guessed it had been another lie to paint himself the hero. - What about New York?

She went silent, looking around as if not speaking would recant her words. She finally sighed, hand patting hers.

- You shouldn’t focus on that.

- I wanna know.

- Hun, you’re already going through a rough patch as it is. Lee Bodecker ain’t gonna help. I knew that slimy man was gonna try and get his hands on you the moment he divorced ...

- He’s divorced? - she interrupted Dorothy’s rant. The old woman looked at her with surprise. She would’ve guessed that would’ve been the first thing he would’ve said to her to try and lure her back into whatever it was he always tried to lure her into. - Lee’s divorced?

- Yeah, hun. Didn’t he tell you? - she moved her head no. - Well, you hear it from me then honey. He divorced Florence, both sold the house, she’s off in Alabama and he’s sleeping in a motel.

- Did she ask for a divorce?

- Everyone is just saying she ran off but rumour has it, he asked for it. Maybe he knocked up another prostitute, who knows with him.

- What about New York? - she reinstated her question. Dorothy sighed, it was no use hiding it from her anyway. Maybe knowing would keep her away from him and all she wanted right now was for her to be away from the sheriff. No good came from him as of lately.

- I don’t know much, hun. What I know is that he went to New York to go speak to you and returned the next day. Couldn’t even say your name around here or he’d get annoyed and Emma, you know Emma the station secretary, said he was in a terrible mood the whole month after.

She didn’t know he’d come to New York. She definitely hadn’t seen him, no one had tried contacting her and no one had told her of someone looking out for her. She just nodded her head, taking the information in but not acting on it. She knew Dorothy was merely looking out for her and right now she should just keep her in the dark. She had the meal prepared for her and left after more people had come down to pay their respects.

The only motel in Knockemstiff was a mere 5 minute walk from the diner. When she was a kid, visitors from the motel would come for breakfast before leaving so often that some truckers grew to know her and would bring her fridge magnets of every location she’d been in. Nevertheless, she couldn’t picture Lee of all people living there, or even staying there. Not Lee Bodecker who put his image in front of everything and everyone. No, Lee Bodecker didn’t live in a motel and Lee Bodecker wouldn’t get divorced.

She walked to the reception, avoiding the bright neon lights which hurt her eyes and making a straight line to the desk where a man was watching a TV show from a small television. She cleared her throat, the man groaning as he turned around only to give her a yellow-teeth smile as he saw her.

- Hello there, darling. Whatcha need?

- Hello, uhm ... could you tell me where the Sheriff’s room is? I have to discuss with him some security details for my father’s funeral.

- You’re Frank’s kid? - he looked her up and down. - Sure grew up into a pretty little thing.

- Thank you. - she looked around before looking back at him. - Could I just get the number, please?

- Why don’t you check the station, darling?

- It’s a bit busy. - she lied. She actually had no idea, she’d barely been to that station in the past years. The man grunted something under his throat, before giving her the answer 103.

103. That was good, she thought, but in reality she had no idea what to do with that information. Actually, she did. She just didn’t know what she was gonna tell him or even ask him. She guessed, she would have to make it up as she went along.

She made her way towards 103, passing all the other numbers before coming into contact with the room. She knocked against the door, her knuckles grazing against the cheap wood before taking a step back. Well, maybe he wasn’t even here. He could still be working, he could be on patrol, he cou ...

- What are you doing here, Y/N? - his voice took her from her mind. He stood behind that door, in his uniform, looking at her. - What do you need?

- Can I come in?

- Of course. - he fully opened the door, allowing her in.

He realised the room wasn’t in any shape or form ready to receive her. His bed needed to be made, his suitcases were on the floor with clothes spilling from them, and there were bottles of whiskey scattered everywhere. Without Florence being here to tell him off, he’d resorted to drown his sorrows rather than eat them. It seemed to work for as long as he was drunk.

- I’m sorry for the mess. If I knew you we ...

- You went to New York? - she interrupted him, her question taking him by surprise. Why was she asking him this? - You went after me?

- What are you talking about? - his eyes noticed the copper pendant dangling from her neck. How did she even have that?

- Dorothy said you went to New York. When did you go to New York?

- Y/N, I’d rather not speak about this.

- No. - she put her foot down. - Why did you go to New York?

- Why did you think I went to New York? To get you back.

- Why didn’t you?

- I know you’re upset about your old man but is this a joke? - he was starting to get mad. Was she playing with him? Was she taking revenge? Did she come here to mock him. - You were with some other guy, that’s why. Do you always forget your boyfriends this easy?

- I didn’t have a boyfriend. - she uttered with confusion. - I never had a boyfriend ... other than you.

- I don’t have time for whatever game it is that you’re playin’ with me.

- I’m not playing any games. - she begged, her hand grabbing his wrist. - Lee, I didn’t know you went to New York.

- Please, I spoke with your ‘ma and all, only to find you having coffee with some guy.

- Lee, look at me. - her hand grabbed his chin, moving it to look at her. - I didn’t know you even went to New York.

He took a step back from her. He knew what he’d seen, he knew he’d seen her with a preppy guy having coffee and laughing at him like he was funny. He knew, he remembered it. He remembered what she was wearing, remembered her smile brighter than ever. He remembered it.

- You went to get me back?

- ‘Course I did, I loved you. Even got some stupid flowers and that necklace you’re wearing ...

- Are you lying? - now she was upset. - Florence gave me this necklace for Vivian.

- It’s your birth stone. I had it made for you, was gonna give it to you for your 21st. The day we met is engraved on the back.

He sat in the bed, back turned towards her, and she remained on her feet, looking at him. Her hand reached for the necklace, turning it around to see the date etched onto the back, the last day of August of her 20th year. Her heart sank to her stomach as she moved to sit next to him.

- I don’t know who you saw. - her hand moved to hold his. - But whoever it was, it wasn’t anyone who I was with.

- Please don’t. - he scoffed. - I don’t need your pity as well.

- I love you.

The silence was so prevalent, one could hear a pin drop. His eyes moved from the floor to find hers, so beautifully bright, looking at him.

- I’ve always wanted you, Lee.

You don't know how much I feel I love you still so why don’t you?

#sebastian stan #lee bodecker #lee bodecker x you #lee bodecker/you #lee bodecker x y/n #lee bodecker/y/n #lee bodecker x reader #lee bodecker/reader #lee bodecker imagine #sebastian stan/reader #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x you #sebastian stan/you #sebastian stan/y/n #sebastian stan x y/n #sebastian stan imagine

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seattlesea · 3 years

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The Poor Character Developments in the Heroes of Olympus Series

Rick Riordan doesn’t know how to write character arcs ✨

-Percy. What arc did he even have? From The Last Olympian to The Son of Neptune it seems like he just got more arrogant and douchey, and this is never explained or expanded on. The readers don’t know why he suddenly got so arrogant. His pride got out of control and he was doing things he knew he couldn’t do but jumped into anyway like attacking a giant head-on alone. He was reckless in PJO, but every time he always had a plan. In HoO he just turned careless. He even put other demigods’ lives at risk at times and honestly didn’t do much throughout the series. He was just kind of there, not really contributing to anything and only involved when the book needed comedic relief or to remind the readers that ‘Hey, Percy is super cool and powerful’. As for his arc, he didn’t change at all. He just got annoying and way too self-involved and vain. I mean- he was literally in front of Hercules, the man who broke Zoë Nightshade’s heart- the girl who literally sacrificed herself for Percy- and he didn’t even say or do anything? He didn’t even mention Zoë or think about her at all. All he was worried about was how ‘big-shot Jason’ got to meet the all-famous Hercules and he didn’t. And this never changed. Percy’s character arc was completely flat cause he never learned from his lessons or mistakes. Even when in Tartarus and was reminded of all the people that he lost during the Second Titan War, how he forgot about Calypso on her island for over two years, and how he left Bob the Titan alone in the Underworld, he didn’t make any move to change. After that scene, he completely forgot to even mention them again.

-Annabeth. Same thing with Annabeth, except her realism was ripped from her. She was well-written in PJO with actual flaws and weaknesses, relationships outside of her romantic one with Percy, a very important and crucial role, fighting bravely, etc., but in HoO, she- just like Percy- was pretty much dead weight, and she became extremely weak. The only thing she really accomplished was following the Mark of Athena and getting the Athena Parthenos, but she still had to be saved by everyone else, and honestly any other demigod could’ve done it way faster. Nico literally could’ve just shadow-travelled to the statue then shadow-travelled it back out. The only times she fought (which was very few times) she was always with another demigod, and the two-three times she actually fought she always had to be saved, by a newbie, especially. In the Temple of Fear, Piper ‘toughened’ her up and saved her three times from the giant Mimas, and when caught by the giants, Piper was the one to save Annabeth (again). She couldn’t do anything by herself without others having to save or help her. And she also became very dull. She didn’t have any more of her pride, short temper, care, ferocity, etc. All she was was a Percy fangirl. Everything was about him and him only. This also didn’t change. We didn’t see any improvement or alterations to her personality whatsoever.

-Jason. The majority of the fandom doesn’t like Jason- which is understandable- but they hate on him for the wrong reasons. They dislike him cause he was ‘boring’ despite him actually having multiple distinct personality traits. They just think he didn’t have any personality cause his traits weren’t directly commented on like the other characters’ were (which is actually bad writing, readers should be able to interpret a character’s personality without it being stated to them by other characters). And he even had a sense of humor. His character arc though...fell short. But! He could’ve had an amazing character arc, Riordan just focused on the wrong parts. Riordan’s take on Jason’s character arc was deciding if he was more ‘Greek or Roman’ and then deciding he was both. But...that makes no sense, cause that’s just stereotyping every single Greek and every single Roman. The fandom says that the Romans are the cruel, harsh, and merciless ones, but what about Hazel? Or Frank? Or Reyna? Or the fact that they immediately accepted Nico while Camp Half-Blood outcasted and even ostracized him? And they say that the Greeks are the fun, cool, relaxed ones, but what about Percy, the only character to canonically torture? Or Annabeth, the unfriendly bossy one? Or Thalia, the merciless, ambitious hunter? Or Piper, the prejudiced manipulator? So really, Jason’s character arc made no sense. It was written to be Jason going from ‘always following the rules and following expectations because of his godly parent’ to ‘doing whatever he wants’, but the fandom forgets that Camp Jupiter is the one who doesn’t care about godly parent, Camp Half-Blood does, cause Camp Jupiter has demigods live in barracks for the sole purpose of demigods without family members not having to live alone while Camp Half-Blood separates cabins and tables by parentage and immediately set Percy to high standards after he was claimed. Besides, does Camp Jupiter have harpies that literally kill demigods if they’re out past curfew? Plus, Jason was breaking multiple rules before his character arc anyways- leaving Camp Jupiter, sailing across the Mediterranean Sea, etc.

-Piper. Oh boy. Where to start with this one. I’ve already gone over how her horribly-portrayed backstory ruined the chances of a good character arc, but now let’s discuss the character arc she actually had. And the best way to describe it is ‘tell not show’. The main idea for Piper’s character arc was that she felt insecure about herself and useless and that she gained confidence in herself and her powers, but that’s not actually what happened, because starting from The Lost Hero, Piper showed multiple narcissistic tendencies that showed that she had a huge ego and placed herself on a pedestal she did nothing to earn or deserve. This is first shown with femininity- Piper immediately thinks that she’s better and above any girl if they so much as wear lip gloss or a dress, which is a sign of an obvious ego: thinking you’re better than everyone else (or in her case, a certain group of people) before getting to know them first. It’s also shown when her and Annabeth are looking for a weapon for Piper and when suggested that she doesn’t choose a dagger cause she’s a newbie, Piper retaliates with “But you use a dagger”...aka thinking she’s already on Annabeth’s level and that she can do whatever Annabeth can despite being a newbie. It’s not hypocrisy if Annabeth has been training for over nine years. Another example would be in The Mark of Athena- "Piper's eyes flashed defiantly, like anything Reyna could do, she could do". Like, no, she can’t, cause Reyna has been training her whole life and Piper doesn’t even know her. Piper shows multiple signs of having a very high opinion of herself, including degrading others (especially other women) for her own sake, thinking she can do what anyone else can, thinking she’s better than everyone else, constantly fussing over her appearance, thinking she deserves everything she’s gotten and that she deserves more without earning it, etc., so her entire character arc wasn’t even there. She just went from quiet about her narcissism to openly expressing it. She never grew from her horrible traits and habits, never realized she was wrong by jumping all over Jason while he was amnesiac, etc., and the whole ‘feeling of uselessness’ was brought up once then never expanded on or mentioned ever again, and nor was her internalized misogyny and fiery hatred towards femininity (which wasn’t even explained). Riordan should’ve used the ‘snobby rich girl learns to be kinder and more modest’ or expanded on the fact that Piper almost killed her friends multiple times. In Katoptris, she saw Jason with gold eyes in Kansas then said ‘Let’s go to Kansas!’ She saw her, Jason, and Percy literally drowning and legit said ‘Let’s go drown!’ without telling them about what she actually saw in her dagger. She saw her and Annabeth exploring some ruins and said ‘Let’s go!’ despite knowing the visions were deadly. She put all of her friends in multiple, life-threatening situations and never felt guilty and wasn’t even called out on it, because no one said if the visions in Katoptris were fate- something you can’t avoid- or destiny- something you can choose and change.

-Frank. Frank’s character arc was clear, but it happened in the wrong way. The main idea of his development was that he was insecure about his appearance then gained confidence from it, but he did only after he magically gained rippling abs and muscle. He only felt good about himself once he lost all his fat as if that’s not obvious lookism, fatphobia, and fat shaming (thanks, Riordan). Frank should’ve learned to love himself despite his flab and appearance and learned that it didn’t matter what he looked like cause he would still be a hero either way. He should’ve shown the readers that ‘Hey, I don’t care what I look like, cause appearance doesn’t matter, whether you choose to do the right thing or not does’, but it was wasted for fat shaming every single reader who was insecure about their weight and didn’t or couldn’t get skinnier and telling them that they should be insecure about themselves because they don’t look like Frank. Is it really so hard for society to believe that a lot of people who aren’t stick-thin are happy and confident about their body?

-Hazel. Honestly, her character arc was one of the most confusing ones, cause she didn’t have anything to drive or even start one. Her backstory is tragic, yes, but there isn’t anything in it that she has to learn to change from cause all of that was resolved when she took down Alcyoneus and Gaea. The only thing I can think of is learning to break away from toxic people even if they’re your family or friend or cause you don’t want to hurt their feelings, but Hazel didn’t struggle with relationships at all. She wasn’t even introduced to any toxic people besides Octavian, and she already hated him. Her transition from the racist and segregated days to the modern world could’ve been really good material for a character arc along with internalized racism- she of all people (someone born and raised in segregation who was taught to hate herself and her skin tone) would grow up thinking that there was something wrong with her because of her dark skin tone and- especially after meeting so many different people of different ethnic groups and skin colors- could’ve learned to love herself and learn that skin tone doesn’t define you (which also would’ve been a perfect lesson for younger readers). Another thing that puzzled me about her ‘development’ was her powers. Her Mist control powers are cool, but what would’ve been cooler was if she was reluctant to use them because she wouldn’t want to twist the minds of people just like Gaea did to her mom. Her gem and metal control powers could’ve been expanded on but they were barely mentioned after The Son of Neptune. As for her curse, that...made absolutely no sense. Her curse was honestly just dead weight. It wasn’t even that one thing that had a lot of potential, it didn’t even have potential, cause what would she ever use it for? It was just used to make her backstory sadder, but it was never mentioned again or even explained. The only thing it could’ve been used for (and what I was hoping would happen) was if one her friends or allies took one of her cursed jewels and died because of it. The one thing I was really hoping to see in her character arc was from the quote she said to Hecate after Hecate gave her the three paths to choose from- “I’m not choosing one of your paths. I’m making my own.” This really sparked my interest because almost everything Hazel had gone through was forced onto her by others without her consent. She didn’t choose to be born into racism and segregation. She didn’t choose to be cursed. She didn’t choose to be used as a pawn by Gaea through her mother. She didn’t choose to almost raise a giant and nearly bring upon the apocalypse. She didn’t choose to use her curse against others and move to multiple places. She didn’t choose to be brought back to life. She didn’t choose to be brought to Camp Jupiter and thrown into an army. She didn’t choose to be a part of the Seven and face the same woman who used her and had her mother possessed years ago. The only two choices she made herself- destroying the island and Alcyoneus and sacrificing Elysium so her mother wouldn’t go to the Fields of Punishment- and she and her mother died because of it and she went to Asphodel for years. I was really hoping to see Hazel break free from others always making decisions for her and learn to make her own choices, but that never happened.

-Leo: His character arc was also very confusing, but because it was all over the place. Riordan kept switching up Leo’s internal problems; forgetting about one of them and jumping to another, jumping to three different others, and then going back to the first one a few chapters later. It was so confusing. And then- in the end- he focused on the worst problem Leo had- not finding a love interest. I mean, who exactly focuses on whether or not they have a girlfriend while in the middle of a war and fighting to survive again? I liked Leo’s other problems- guilt over and blaming himself for his mother’s death, seeing his fire powers as a curse instead of a gift, forcing himself to hide his pain with humor instead of opening up to people, running away from all his problems, and his abandonment issues and constant fear of being left out and alone, but they were all replaced with ‘He felt like the seventh wheel’ (cause yes, Riordan, if you don’t have a love interest, you are immediately lesser than anyone who does, obviously). Leo got over his mother’s death in The Lost Hero- which, great- but after that nothing too memorable changed about his character. He never even used or mentioned his fire powers after The Lost Hero, he continued to hide all his pain with humor, hide his emotions from other people, and never learned to open up to others about his pain and trauma, he never learned to stop running away from his powers (shown by when he faked his own death without bothering to talk to the others about feeling left out), and his abandonment issues and fears were never expanded on, he just ran into the arms of a girl who verbally abused and constantly insulted him AKA ran to the person who gave him attention, even if it was the bad kind of attention, as if that’s not something emotionally scarred people and people with abandonment issues do, and he never grew from accepting unfair hate and criticism.

-Nico. His character development was actually pretty good. From going to an energetic, cheerful, and playful kid to becoming a quiet, closed-off, and independent teen who struggled with depression and feeling alone and like he didn’t belong, to finding comfort in his family and friends (especially Reyna, Hazel, and Will) and learning to accept himself for who he was (as a son of Hades and as gay) and how to confide in others about his struggles, problems, and trauma and finally letting people in after being do dubious of people after Percy broke his promise to protect Bianca, he found out that King Minos was using him, and almost all of Camp Half-Blood excluded and ignored him. After being alone for most of his life, by the end of The Blood of Olympus, he has two homes (as stated by Reyna), is comfortable with people hugging him, allowed people to take care of and help him, decided to stay at Camp Half-Blood and Camp Jupiter instead of isolating himself, made a bunch of new friends that helped him through his struggles, and he even showed multiple signs of healing from his depression and anxiety. His character development was pretty well-written. But, there was one thing wrong with it that kind of ruined the rest- his love life. Nico had an incredible character arc that could’ve taught multiple valuable lessons to younger readers, but most of it was ditched after he came out as gay in The House of Hades. Throughout all of his point of views in The Blood of Olympus, Nico never thought about any of his past trauma or struggles, Bianca, his new family and friends, etc. Pretty much all he thought about was finding out how to come out to the others and Percy. And while mustering the courage to come out is a huge deal and is great material for a character arc, Riordan never actually utilized it. Nico telling Reyna he was gay was really touching (best duo) and telling Percy he had a crush on him was great, but after that, his entire character was about his attraction towards Will (which was way too rushed, but that’s for another rant), and it got pretty annoying cause it made it obvious that Riordan only confirmed him gay for publicity by trying to shove it in the reader’s faces as if every gay person needs to have a boyfriend to validate and prove their sexuality. Riordan should’ve stayed on track with Nico’s original character arc.

-Reyna. THE BEST CHARACTER ARC. Hers was actually really good. She started off trying to do everything on her own because she believed that she had to be strong enough to do things by herself without help from others to learning that it’s okay to ask for help. She also started off with the (quite serious and traumatizing) problem of bottling all her emotions because she believed that she always had to put on a strong, brave face for others without showing any signs of weakness to learning that it’s okay to express your emotions and confide in others (and again, that it’s okay to ask for help). This was mostly evident after she met Nico, which (in my opinion) kick-started her motivation to change because once she saw how much Nico needed help and giving him that support and comfort, realized that everyone is allowed to ask for help and started confiding in Nico as well. I like how she stayed strict and serious cause she has a formal job- a job that’s equivalent to an American’s president, that is- so she’s supposed to be serious, and she’s only strict cause she wants to protect her people. Though I do hate when people misjudge her as ‘cold-hearted’ or ‘cruel’ because Reyna is actually one of the kindest and most selfless characters in the series. Even Pegasus (the immortal lord of the pegasi) was ‘touched’ by Reyna’s ‘compassion’ towards Scipio (he didn’t even say that to Percy about Blackjack), and it’s pretty obvious she cares deeply about her family, friends, and people. And overall, her character arc was easily the best-written one in HoO. But then Riordan- just like he does with most things in this series- completely trashed her character arc just so he could have the opportunity to make fun of wlw readers who thought Reyna and Thalia would be a good couple by making her leave everything behind for the Hunters of Artemis just cause she ‘couldn’t find a love interest’ as if joining the Hunters is the only option for single female demigods instead of just...living a normal demigod life without a partner without leaving everything they know and love behind for no reason other than their shitty love life.

#heroes of olympus #percy jackson #character arc #character development #rick riordan #annabeth chase #jason grace #frank zhang #hazel levesque #leo valdez #reyna ramirez arellano #reyna avila ramirez arellano #nico di angelo #piper mclean

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franniebanana · 3 years

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CQL Rewatch - Episode 3

I just love their outfits here, and since I didn’t comment on that in the last episode, I wanted to say it here. I love the whole color palette they used for Lotus Pier. The donghua goes heavy on the purple and black, but I really love how they incorporate lavender and teal and other blues. It’s just very pretty and soft and relaxing. Such a nice place. I keep having a debate with myself about where I’d rather live. I think I’d be more comfortable in the Cloud Recesses, but I’d never be able to deal with all those rules!

Ah, yes, everyone’s favorite peacock. He played this part so perfectly: just this pillar of grace and poise, except when he’s around Jiang Yanli, and he just becomes butter hahaha. I like his son a lot better than him, but he and Wei Wuxian have some great scenes together, and it’s fun to see him grow alongside everyone else. He’s not just a mindless clan member who does everything he’s supposed to. He’ll stand up and fight for justice too.

It’s easy to forget (myself included in this) that Jiang Yanli is the oldest of the three of them, especially in this show. She’s so much smaller, so soft-spoken; she isn’t going to be the next leader, because that’s Jiang Cheng, being the male heir. But this is one of those scenes where she really is the big sister. Wei Wuxian is fighting with her fiancé’s retinue, Jiang Cheng is just trying to stay out of it and be polite, so she has to step in and put an end to it. I love when Jiang Yanli gets some screen time and lines, and isn’t serving soup. Don’t get me wrong—I like seeing her take care of them, but it’s more mothering than being a big sister. I think the moments when she’s standing up for her brothers and for herself are really special. You can’t blame Jiang Cheng or Wei Wuxian for loving their shijie so much.

Gotta love Wei Wuxian taking every opportunity to throw some shade at Jin Zixuan. I love all of it, and I eat it up—I am the target audience for snarky Wei Wuxian. And at this point, Jin Zixuan just ignores him—good on him. He keeps that up for all of a few days.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

YOU FORGOT THE INVITATION!

Sorry, but the first time I watched this, I wondered why there was this big close-up of something with “Lan Clan of Gusu” written on it. I’m a dummy, okay?

Omg they translated ge-ge as “buddy.”

Okay, but here we go! Shut out of the Cloud Recesses. Also, where did they change? I kept thinking they changed at the tavern, but when they left, they were wearing their same Jiang Clan clothes. So, somewhere along the way, they put on their pretty white robes. I’ve got nothing else to say here, because we’re about to see another great entrance from Lan Wangji.

I love how his entrance is accompanied by the guqin. His presence is so ethereal, so otherworldly, yet he’s so grounded as a character. He turns everyone’s heads, including Wei Wuxian’s. I love that Wang Yibo is in reality shorter than Xiao Zhan, so they gave him platform boots to make them more even. But the height and stature gives the relationship a whole different dynamic.

Anyone who knows me knows I love my yaoi/BL. I could go on and on about my favorites, but I won’t do that here. There’s one thing I don’t like about it, and it’s that you can always tell who the top and bottom is just by how they look (sometimes artists subvert this, which I love!). The donghua for MDZS does this (I haven’t read the manhua, but I have seen some screenshots, and I think it also does)—Lan Wangji is so much bigger than Wei Wuxian. And while it’s aesthetically pleasing, it just bugs me, okay? I like the idea of Wangxian being roughly the same size and height—I don’t really know why, I just do. Also I definitely headcanon them both as switches at this point.

I don’t think Lan Wangji would have given Wei Wuxian the time of day if he hadn’t heard this. He’s already impressed that Wei Wuxian picked up on the weird stuff/wicked sorcery going on—he’s made a mental note of him. I’m sure he’s a little disappointed that Wei Wuxian immediately gets on his nerves, but he still pauses before leaving.

Lan Wangji is never going to be a fast friend—he’s not going to be anyone’s best friend right away. You need to gain his trust and that does not happen overnight. Though the setting is anything but realistic, their relationship and the steps it goes through are incredibly realistic. They grow together—they grow on each other (it’s not as if Wei Wuxian really cares about Lan Wangji at first either—think of how many times he calls him a fuddy-duddy. I think his main goal for quite some time is to get on Lan Wangji’s nerves and tease him. Wei Wuxian is used to charming his way in and out of things, but he can’t do that with Lan Wangji).

Yibo’s piercings! That’s it. That’s why I took this screenshot. But, weirdly, I always look at stuff like that.

He has such a swagger here, going up the steps, but I think it’s really just Xiao Zhan trying to climb the stairs without tripping on his costume. XD

It’s funny how surprised Wei Wuxian is to have the silencing spell used on him, even though he had been put under it earlier that day. Frankly, I don’t blame Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian hit him with a bit of a sucker punch there, implying that the girls only liked him for how he looks and that they’d be disappointed by his demeanor.

It’s such a popular trope (enemies to lovers), but I don’t think that makes it inherently bad or less effective as a storytelling device. On the contrary, when done well, it can make or break a story. As I said earlier, their relationship is very realistic, yet has enough fiction to make it fun. I watch these early scenes with a big old grin on my face, and I’ve seen this one probably around four times now, maybe more (I keep watching the Special Edition for all that wangxian goodness).

Okay, let’s watch as Wei Wuxian digs his hole deeper and deeper. The look on Lan Qiren’s face this entire time is priceless. Like, who is this miscreant who just barged in here, telling me how he is breaking all the rules and expecting me to feel bad for him? Meanwhile, Lan Xichen, with a smile: I won’t blame you for breaking the rules, but let my brother who hates you decided your punishment, okay? Thanks!

Peak comedy before it gets all serious again.

She’s so gorgeous!

But I’ll be frank with you all, I don’t like that they expanded Wen Qing’s role in this way. She was one of my favorites in the book, but shoehorning her and Wen Ning into the Cloud Recesses kind of drives me nuts. And then the stuff with Jiang Cheng, while kind of cute, just doesn’t really hit right with me, and I don’t think it was executed well at all after a certain point—but I’ll babble about that when the time comes. So, while I appreciate expanding female roles, I didn’t really care for this bit in the Cloud Recesses. I would have been fine with them adding scenes of what she was up to with the Wen Clan—that would have been really cool, actually, because we don’t get to see much of anything other than the Nightless City. And maybe I’m biased because I quite enjoyed the archery contest stuff in the book that they kind of piecemealed in the show.

It sounds like I’m just whining about this show, but I actually really enjoy it.

I like this moment between the twin jades. We don’t get a ton of these and this one is particularly quiet and peaceful. The contrast between them and Jiang Cheng/Wei Wuxian is so stark—the twin jades are so formal and a little stiff, while the twin prides are off the wall, hitting and teasing each other—but this doesn’t make either one less caring than the other. What’s obvious from this scene is how much both of them care about each other: Lan Wangji wants to do what he can to help, because he knows how much pressure is on Xichen, and Xichen is just worried about his younger brother. Even though you don’t find this out until later, you can tell that the two boys had to grow up very fast. Neither one had much of a childhood, and I think Lan Xichen does take on a bit of a father role to Lan Wangji as well.

Other episodes: 1 | 2 |

#cql rewatch #lan wangji #wei wuxian #wangxian #lan xichen #jiang cheng #jiang yanli #jin zixuan #wen qing #cql #the untamed #mdzs #mo dao zu shi

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starkatana · 4 years

Text

Safehouse

Jason Todd x Female Reader

Red Hood x Female Reader

Summary:

Red Hood gets injured and calls you for your help. Very fluffy and sweet.

I needed fluffy and sweet after working on this angsty story.

Warning: Light swearing, mentions of marijuana

Before Reading:

Your hero name is: Black Cat

Imagine your suit to look a lot like Selina’s (Catwoman’s suit)

Since his return your relationship with Jason has been tense. You still have feelings for each other and this is your first interaction together not ending in a yelling match.

At this point in the story you two are 22/23; while at prom you were both 18 - seniors in high school about to graduate.

Thanks! And shout-out!

The prom section is inspired by this post by @geekandnerdworld

I used a prompt from this post by @writing-ideas-inc

Author’s Note:

So, here begins my various one-shots of Jason Todd/Red Hood x Reader//y/n AKA my current obsession. I may compile all of them into chronological order once everything is done. I just really wanted to write and post something. I just have too many WIP’s right now that I need to focus on.

Sorry if it's a little out of character, this is just based on my knowledge that Tumblr has given me.

Enjoy! ~<3

You received an SOS from Jason with his location. You haven’t heard from Jason in a while, but you weren’t going to ignore an SOS from him. Quickly getting dressed as Black Cat, you rush to this location. The coordinates lead you to his old orphanage; you had been here a few times before with Jason. Volunteering to hang out, teach, and play with the kids.

You parked your bike out front and carefully climbed the fence. The orphanage was warm and inviting. The upper levels of the building were dark, it was nighttime and you knew that’s where the kids slept. The downstairs, the main entrance light was on along with the outside lights. You creep up quietly to the front door and saw a note in Jason’s writing that said: ‘Back door.’

You follow your instructions and go to the back. You knock on what you remember to be the kitchen door and the friendly face of the orphanage care-taker answered.

“Black Cat.” She opened the door wider for you, “Come in.”

You nod and stepping in Jason, as Red Hood, was sitting on a chair in the kitchen.

“Cat.” Jason looked over at you, “You came.”

“Of course I came.” You walk over to him as she closes the door behind you. “Are you okay?” You ask as you instinctively begin to look over Jason’s wounds. Nothing stitches wouldn’t be able to handle. Maybe some bruising, but nothing too crazy.

“I’m fine.” He winced, “I need some help getting home. Miss wouldn’t let me leave unless someone went with me.”

She sighs. “You can stay here Ja-” the orphanage caretaker stops herself, “Red Hood.”

“No, it’s okay.” He gets up and you instinctively go to reach for him in case he falls over. “I’ll be back to get to the bottom of things, but right now, I’m going home.”

She sighs, “You heroes and your secrets. Be safe out there.”

“Always am.” He makes his way to the door, “C’mon Cat.”

You nod and follow him out, once the door shuts behind you two, he winces over.

“Jay.” You help him up.

“I’m okay.”

“C’mon, let me carry you.”

He agrees and they continue to walk.

“Thank you.”

You don’t respond knowing how much it probably took him to say that. You only smile to yourself and walk over to his motorcycle.

“I have someplace we can go to close-by that’ll be safe.”

“Okay. I’ll drive you just give me directions.”

He agrees. Getting on his bike, you put your bike in automatic drive and send it back to the Batcave knowing that Bruce’s tracking device was still set up on it. Jason gives you the key for his bike and you start it up as he sits up behind you on the bike.

“You good?” you ask.

“Better.”

Arriving at the safe house, you almost missed it because the safehouse was a flower shop. It was four stories, the fourth being a large greenhouse looking level.

“Are we at the right place?”

“Yeah.”

Jason unlocked the garage and pushed up the door, as you pushed the bike in. Inside there are a variety of flowers and arrangements. Jason led you upstairs to the third floor. He unlocks the door and gestures after you.

Walking in, it was a very open space with beautiful red brick walls and black framed windows. The apartment, if you want to call it that, had an open floor plan where the living room, dining space, and kitchen flowed into each other. It was nicely decorated with a variety of houseplants hanging around. There was a little section that dipped down with a couple of stairs and above you was a glass-paneled roof with black trim.

“How is this a safehouse?” you ask him still looking up, “There’s an entire section where the roof is glass.”

“I just said it was safe, not a safehouse.”

“I suppose. This looks like it could be one of Ivy’s lairs.”

He shrugs, “you could say that.”

“Is it?”

“I mean, making money by selling some sweet kush isn’t a bad side job.”

You let out a light chuckle, “I guess not.” You look up and around, the sky had cleared and the stars were out.

“It’s bulletproof glass.”

“I wasn’t concerned about the glass and getting caught. I was just looking at the sky.”

He nods and looks up with you, “Can I be frank?”

“No.” you shift your eyes to look at him without moving your head, “I’d like you to be Jason.”

You could practically feel him roll his eyes at you under the sliver of moonlight. “Glad to know your jokes are still terrible.”

You move your head to face him with a smile you haven’t worn in a long time, “What’s going on?”

“To be honest, when Ivy first offered me the place and I saw this brick wall and the large window roof, I could only think of you and I hoped that I’d have another chance to look at the stars with you.”

You purse your lips. That was really cute. “I don’t understand. What about Artemis?”

“You caught me. You were right, I was only with her to hurt you and make you jealous. She knew. You knew. I was only kidding myself. She broke up with me, if we were even dating, told me to quit being a little bitch and to give up my pride and go back to you.”

You don’t respond. “Where's the first aid supplies?” you ask changing the conversation.

“Bathroom.”

You nod. “You try to get out of that suit. I’ll be right back.”

Jason let out a hiss of air.

“You okay?” you ask pulling on the stitch to tighten it.

“Yeah. It just stings like a son of a bitch.”

“Always does. Okay. Take a breath and let it out slowly.

Jason listens and at the time he exhales, you make another stitch, followed by a knot. “Alright, you’re done.”

“Thanks.”

“No problem.” You say, “Let’s get some rest.”

“Yeah. You can have the bed.” Jason offered, “There’s only one here.”

“Does it have this view?” you gesture to the window ceiling.

“No.” he gives you a half-smile, “I can get the bed out here for you.”

“Not with the new stitches I just put in. Thanks, Jaybird, but the couch is fine for me.”

There’s a noticeable pause between you two.

“I haven’t heard that in a while.”

“Hm?”

“Jaybird, I miss it. It’s either Red or Jason now. I feel like people only call me Jaybird when they aren’t mad at me.”

It had been a while since you called him by his nickname. He was right though. Since he’s been back, you’ve been upset and always called him Jason or dickhead. In your alter egos, you either call him Red, Hood, or Red Hood. Yet, you haven’t had a real conversation with Jason in a while.

“Well, it’s been a while since we’ve had a civil conversation.”

“Yeah... why did you answer my call?”

You pause. He was right. You had no reason to answer his call. You didn’t need to answer anything. He’s been a major dick since he’s been back and you two haven’t had any positive contact. Yet all you could answer, “Why wouldn’t I?”

He pauses.

“Here’s a question for you, why call me?”

There’s another pause.

“Do you want something to sleep in? I have some spare T-shirts in the bedroom and some shorts you could tie at the waist to fit you.”

You give up the conversation. “Please.”

He leads you to the bedroom. The room screamed Jason Todd, it wasn’t a mess but it wasn’t neat either. There were a variety of books, a closed laptop, spare Red Hood helmets, and a domino mask or two.

“Here.” He gives you a clean shirt and a pair of shorts.

“Thanks.” There was a tense air between you two. You wondered if he could feel it too. There was so much to say and it just didn’t feel like the right time to say it all. “Good night, Jay.”

“Y/n,” you look at him expectantly. You weren’t sure what you wanted him to say, but you stopped to listen. “Good night.”

You smile at him and show yourself out of the bedroom. Going to close the door behind you, you take one more lingering look at Jason, who makes eye contact with you giving you a sad look. You turn away and click the door shut behind you.

After changing into his T-shirt, you don’t put on the pants, his waist was just too big for you. You go lay down on the couch. This was what Jason smelled like, it was a comforting, familiar smell. You missed it a lot. You brought it over your face, this was Jason and he was real. You stared at the stars in the sky and remembered the first time you two went star gazing, it was prom night.

You and Jason had just left the prom, went out to eat at your favorite diner, and went back to Wayne Manor. An overall perfect night. You two stayed dressed in your formal wear and made hot chocolate in the kitchen. Not wanting to call it a night just yet, you two laid on the manor’s roof watching the stars.

You two were laughing and giving each other shit.

Jason sighs and lays down next to you, “Y’know, I’ve never had a real friend before.”

“Whatever.” You roll your eyes.

“It's true!”

“Okay.” You mock, “Let me just call Roy.”

“Oooh nooo, what's Mister Bow and Arrow, what’s he gonna do?”

“Dump your ass so you definitely won’t have a ‘real friend’.”

“Then my point still stands:” you could hear the cheekiness in his voice, “I have never had a real friend.”

“Well, I am your friend, Jaybird.” You say turning your head to look at him.

Jason looks over at you with a big smile on his face.

“What?”

“I’ve also never had a girlfriend...”

You roll your eyes and shake your head looking away from him and back towards the starry sky. He’s quiet and in your peripheral vision, you could see that he was still staring at you.

“Y/n,” his fingers gently brushed against yours. Not grabbing your hand just being close. “Will you be my girlfriend?”

You look back over at Jason and swallowed hard. He was being serious. His blue eyes glimmered under the light of the moon. He had on a soft smile that he only shares with you. The time that you two spent together training, going on patrols, dancing, school, laughing, mischief-making, the short amount of time you knew Jason you couldn’t imagine your future without him.

You gently move your hand and lock your fingers with his. “Yes.”

He smiles and lifts your hand to his lips kissing the back of it. Letting his lips linger over your hand as his soft breaths tickled your skin as you stared into each other’s eyes. You never wanted this moment to end.

You hear a door click open. You sit up and Jason is walking into the main area.

“Sorry.” He says, “I was just grabbing some water.”

“No worries.”

“Can you sleep?”

“No.”

“Want some hot cocoa and watch the stars?”

“Yes.”

Jason made you some hot chocolate and took a seat on the ground while you laid on the couch. Getting into a conversation about the year. You explained to him what you tried to do, fighting through waves Joker’s men to get to him. How you wanted Joker to suffer for killing Jason. Then explaining that you were lucky when the other bat fam members showed up to save your ass.

“Then Dick went after Joker and manage to successfully beat him up. Bruce had to step in to stop him before they put Joker back in Arkham.”

“Again? When is he going to get that’ll never work?” Jason rolled his eyes.

“Yeah. We didn’t get much of a say, I was in the infirmary and the girls kidnapped me to NYC before Bruce could say anything.”

Jason was quiet before he said, “You and Dick are the only two in this family that I fucking respect. Trying to kill Joker like that. Badass. Thank you.”

You smile and finish your cocoa. He didn’t even know the half of it. “Your turn. Where were you? What did you do? What happened while you were away?”

“Recover.” he shrugged, “I was going through rehabilitation. Physical therapy. I sat around in the Lazarus Pit,” he gestured to his white tuff in front. “That’s where this came from. Don’t know why we just didn’t do that sooner.”

“And here I thought I’d never see you again. You were suffering all by yourself.”

“There was one more thing,” Jason turns around to face you, “Bruce thought it’d be a great idea to give me the letters you wrote me. I don’t know why, but I got your letters. So, I wasn’t completely alone. It was when Peter came into the picture when,” He said the next part slowly, “I…got…jealous.”

“Wait? All of them?”

“I’m assuming. He gave me a lot.”

“Oh my god!” You sat up on the couch, “I wrote so much in those.” you covered your face from embarrassment. “I didn’t think anyone was going to read them!”

“Hey.” Jason got on the couch with you and gently grabbed your hands to uncover your face, “They gave me hope that I’d see you again. Your letters made me feel like I wasn’t so alone.”

“And now I’m mad!” you took his hands back and pointed a finger in his face, “You had all of my letters! You had an idea of how I felt while you were gone! And you still pulled all that shit, Jason Peter Todd!”

“Yeah,” he held his hand up in defense, “I’m sorry. It was dumb and stupid.”

“You’re dumb and stupid.” You gently shove him away.

“I mean you’re right.”

“Stop. I don’t mean that.”

He smiles, “I think after all the shit I pulled, you can be mean to me.”

“I don’t want to be,” you sigh leaning against your arm propped up on the back of the couch, looking at him “I’m tired of fighting.”

“Me too.” He begins, “This was nice. Thank you.”

You nod and he matches your body language. Sitting in the silence of each other. It didn’t feel odd, it didn’t feel the same, it felt new. Like a door had opened where you could both move forward.

“And so you know this still stands. Reading all your letters, talking tonight again, even after me being a dick to you. I’ve never given much thought to others’ hopes and dreams, but when you talk about yours, I want them all to come true. I only want you to be happy.”

You smile and for the first time, you touch his arm gently in a manner of love and affection.

“Y/n,” he says with his hand over yours.

“Jaybird.”

“Please don’t give up on me.”

117 notes · View notes

that-little-bisexual-mess · 4 years

Text

HPHM MC Profile template

[Profile template from @hogwartsmysterystory] [@unfortunate-arrow gave me the idea]

Ada’s father profile : here

Ada’s mother profile : here

Ada’s great great grandmother (hphl oc character) presentation : here

Identity

Name: Ada Margot Shelby

Gender: Female

Age: 16

Birth Date: April 28, 1973

Species: (Human, Lycanthrope, Metamorphmagus, Vampire, ect) Human

Blood Status: (Pureblood, Half-Blood, Muggleborn) Half-blood

Sexuality: Bisexual

Alignment: Chaotic good

Ethnicity: Caucasian, White

Nationality: British

Residence: Shelby house, Birmingham, until she’s 11 and then, the Tonks house

Myer Briggs Personality Type: ENFJ (the Protagonist)

The Mage

1st Wand:

Wood: Rowan Wood

Core: Phoenix feather

Length: 10 ¾ inches

Flexibility: Slightly yielding

2nd Wand:

Wood: Sycamore

Core: Unicorn hair

Length: 10 and ¼ inches

Flexibilty: Surprisingly swishy

Animagus: Falcon

Misc Magical Abilities: (Legilimen, Seer, Parselmouth, Obscurial, ect) N/A

Boggart Form: Bellatrix Lestrange (explained below)

Riddikulus Form: Bellatrix tripping multiple times

Amortentia: (What do they smell like?) Ada smells like lavender (shampoo) and old parchment

Amortentia: (What do they smell?) Ada smells the sea, apple pie, and jasmine (Penny’s perfume).

Patronus: Hedgehog

Patronus Memory: A memory of a family gathering during which her parents and great-parents are still alive and her brother is happy; Her first real laugh after her mother’s death caused by one of Ted Tonks’ jokes; A water fight she had with Dora, Andromeda and Ted; Her first roadtrip with her friends accross Scotland (I like to imagine Bill has a car licence).

Mirror of Erised: She sees her entire family alive, along with her friends. She’s surrounded by all the people she loves, touched by those who passed away.

Specialized/Favourite Spells:

Spero Patronum

Stupefy

Arresto Momentum

Crinus Muto

Petrificus Totalus

Appearance

Faceclaim: Daisy Edgar Jones (with glasses and green eyes)

Voiceclaim: Daisy Edgar Jones

Game Appearance:

Height: 5’5” when she stopped growing

Weight: 121 lbs

Physique: Average

Eye Colour: Green

Hair Colour: Brown

Skin Tone: Pale

Body Modifications: N/A

Scarring: After the battle of Hogwarts, she has a scar on her right cheek caused by a curse so it cannot disappear. Plus, she has mutiple little scars on her body due to her adventures and her job as an auror.

Inventory: (what do they carry on them?)

Her wand

She wears glasses

Money

A picture of her parents

A necklace with her mother’s engagement ring on it (her brother carries their father’s wedding ring)

A bracelet she received as a gift from her godmother Andromeda Tonks when she was born. She had to readjust it as she grew up. (Tonks got a similar one from her own godmother: Ada’s mother Miranda)

Her Prefect badges

Inside her school bag:

Parchments

Quills

Her Astronomy book and notebook. These are the only ones she carries everywhere because she is passioned by it

An old love note from Penny

The last letter her mother ever sent to her

The first letter Ted and Andromeda sent to her at Hogwarts after they took her in after her mother died, in which they are reassuring her, telling her they will always be there for her and asking a letter every week to give them news (Just like Dora. This particular part was signed by Andromeda)

Fashion: Thanks to Ted Tonks and other Muggleborns she knows, she’s fully aware of muggles’ fashion and she likes to wear some of them:

Denim jackets

Rock band t-shirts

Shirts with patterns

Vans

Denim pants

Allegiances

Hogwarts House: Gryffindor

Ilvermorny House: Thunderbird

Affiliations/Organizations:

Gryffindor house

Hogwarts

Order of the Phoenix

Professions: Auror

Hogwarts Information

Class Proficiencies:

Astronomy: (OWL Grade or ★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆) O

Charms: O

DADA: O

Flying: E

Herbology: E

History of Magic: A

Potions: O

Transfiguration: O

Electives:

Care of Magical Creatures: E

Arithmancy: A

Extra Curriculars:

Quidditch: Chaser

Dueling Club

Astronomy Club

Favourite Professors:

Professor McGonagall: She is Ada’s favorite Professor of all time. Ada finds her excellent, strict but fair, and passionate. When Ada’s mother died, she was the one to tell her. After that, she always checked on her to see if she was ok and always saw whenever she was not, even when Ada tried very hard to hide it. She was an important part of Ada’s recovery after her loss. Ada will always be thankful for that.

Professor Sinistra: Even though she loves most of her classes, Astronomy is Ada’s favorite subject. The subject in itself is already fascinating, but Professor Sinistra add a lot to it. Ada is always captivated by what she has to say about the sky. Professor Sinistra saw her passion, and often allows her to go to the Astronomy tower to watch the sky outside of class. She also often lends her more advanced Astronomy books.

Professor Sprout: Ada also loves Professor Sprout. Herbology class is one of her favorite and it is a lot due to Professor Sprout. She loves the way she teaches, her kindness and her sense of humor. There is a lot about her personnality that she also find in some of her own friends like Dora or Penny, which makes it even easier to like her.

Professor Flitwick: Finally Professor Flitwick. She also loves the way he teaches. After her mother died, she had a lot of trouble to concentrate on the practice of spells and was often struggling to realize them. Professor Flitwick, however, was always patient with her and always treated her with kindness, which finally helped her to go through her struggles.

Least Favourite Professors:

Professor Snape: Even though she didn’t expect and wanted any compassion about her loss from him, she also didn’t like the way he treated her. Like explained earlier, she had trouble to concentrate after her mother’s death, and in Potion Class, it often ended in screwing up her potions. Snape failed her, which would be totally fine if he didn’t also made petty comments about it. His attitude towards her made her fail a lot of potion classes for years, until her ambition to become auror took the advantage and made her work even harder than ever. This work made her obtain an ‘O’ at her Potion Owl, allowing her to take the class during her last two years. Snape didn’t like it.

Professor Rakepick: Ada had kind of a problem when she was young, it was to trust people way too quickly. And that’s what happened with Professor Rakepick. She trusted her too quickly. At first she admired her, and found her fascinating. Then of course, you know the story. Then her admiration turned into hatred. After that, she had a lot of struggle to trust people she meet.

Relationships

Family:

Brother: Jacob Luke Shelby

Faceclaim: Robert Sheehan

Relationship with him: When they were young, Jacob and Ada were really close. Jacob was always protective towards Ad and it became the main reason why he worked for ‘R’. When he became obsessed with the Vaults, the two siblings kind of grew apart but were still close. During her school years, she became obsessed with finding him to get him back. When she finally did, with the help of her friends, they finally reunited. She then told him about their mother passing away, as he was already missing when it happened. After everything was over, they got reunited once more and they grew as close as they were as kids.

Father: Luke Anthony Shelby

Faceclaim: Jimmi Simpson

Relationship with him: Luke was a muggle-born. Ada was eight years old when her father died. He was an auror and was killed by Bellatrix Lestrange as he was trying to arrest her after the torture of Frank and Alice Longbottom. She doesn’t have a lot of memory with him, as he worked a lot to try to defeat Voldemort and the Death eaters during the first Wizarding War. She remembers him as a loving father though. A father who was always trying to find time for his family and telling stories about his adventures to his children, although he kept a lot to himself of course. To Ada and Jacob, he’ll always be a hero.

Mother: Miranda Morgane Shelby née Durand

Faceclaim: Ruth Wilson

Relationship with her: Miranda was a pure-blood. Ada was very close to her mother, especially after Luke’s death. Miranda is British on her father side and French on her mother side. Ada’s second name ‘Margot’, is the name of Miranda’s mother. Miranda had always been proud of her French heritage, pride she passed on to her children. Miranda was a very loving mother and was very protective of her children. Her best friend was Andromeda Tonks. The two of them met at Hogwarts. Miranda made Andromeda Ada’s godmother and Miranda was Nymphadora godmother. She died during Ada’s first year at Hogwarts of Dragon pox. Ada kept her mother’s engagment ring on a necklace that she wore for the rest of her life. Since both of her parents were dead and Jacob was missing, Ada had to go live with her godmother, Andromeda and her family.

Other Family

Andromeda Tonks (Godmother):

Faceclaim: Rachel Weisz

Relationship with her: Ada had known Andromeda since she was born. She always admired her godmother: she was beautiful, loving and always kept her head high against people’s comments on her birth family. Andromeda loved her goddaughter and accepted without hesitation to take her in after Miranda’s death. During her years at the Tonks’ residence, Ada grew very close to every member of the family. Andromeda became like a second mother to her. On her first christmas with them, Ada was very quiet and sad. Andromeda noticied it and decided to take her outside. She then asked Ada to look at the sky, which had no clouds that night. She then told her to look for the Taurus Constellation. After they found it, Andy told her that this constellation was the first one her and Miranda found when they first got paired together in an Astronomy class during the winter of their first year at Hogwarts. They became best friends after that class. Andy then proposed to Ada to talk to the constellation like she was talking to her mother and to choose another constellation for her father. This became a ritual between Andy and Ada. On Christmas day, they would sit outside and look at the sky, Ada talking to her parents and Andy sitting next to her, listening, being there for her if she needed to. It never occured to neither of Ted and Dora to join or disturb this little ceremony. After the Second Wizarding War, Andy and Ada introduced Teddy to this ceremony, choosing other constellations for Ted, Dora and Remus. When Andy died many years later, Teddy and Ada added the Andromeda Galaxy to the ritual. Ada’s passion for Astronomy started to develop during that first night of ritual with Andromeda. When she was thirteen years old, Ada discovered the identity of her father’s killer: Bellatrix Lestrange, Andy’s sister. The latter got really afraid that Ada would be resentful towards her but Ada reassured her that she knew she wasn’t like Bellatrix.

Ted Tonks:

Faceclaim: James McAvoy

Relationship with him: After Ada started to live with them, Ted quickly became like a second father to her. She found him extremely funny and very loving. He introduced her to a lot of Muggles’ stuff, especially sports. She began to love to go to muggle sport events with him and Dora. She specially loved to go watch rugby and fencing.When Dora and Ada were both at Hogwarts and couldn’t come to their favorite teams or athlete competitions, he would send them a very detailed letter, in which he would told them everything that happened. During the Second War, Ada was the first one to know about Ted’s death. She was the one who told Dora and Andy. The three of them were devastated by his death. A few nights later, Ada and Andy made Dora choose a constellation so they could talk to them.

Nymphadora Tonks:

Faceclaim: Natalia Tena (yes, i like her)

Relationship with her: Ada and Dora had knowned each other since they were babies. They spent a lot of time together and were best friends. When Dora was sorted to Hufflepuff and Ada to Gryffindor, the two of them were a little sad that they wouldn’t share a dorm. But they stayed best friends anyway and spent most of their free time together. When Miranda died and the Tonks’ took Ada in, Ted was the one to told Dora. She was extremely sad. Ted also told her that Ada would come live with her and that she would most likely become a sister to her. To that Dora answered : “She always has been my sister”. Dora was the one who was the most present and helpful during Ada’s grief. After their graduation they started the Auror formation together and lived together. It was only after Dora’s wedding that Ada went to get her own appartment, which wasn’t really far from Dora’s appartment. They were both very protective towards each other and whenever Remus would leave Dora and make her suffer, Ada would be very mad at him, watching him with furry eyes for weeks after he came back. When Dora gave birth to Teddy, Ada was there and cried when she first hold him as he was so little. When Dora died during the Battle of Hogwarts, Ada was devastated and she was the one to let Andromeda know. Afterwards, Ada was in Teddy and Andy’s life a lot and she would told him a lot about her adventures with Dora, everytime feeling a void in her heart but always trying to make the boy smile.

Friends, Love Interest and others

Love Interest: Penny Haywood

Faceclaim: Virgina Gardner

Relationship with her: Dora was the one to introduce Penny to Ada. Ada had an instant crush on her. She was thrilled when Penny accepted to go to the Celestial ball with her and even more when Penny told her her feelings were mutuals. They only started to really date during their 7th year and stayed together for the rest of their life.

Best Friends:

Nymphadora Tonks

Penny Haywood

Charlie Weasley

Bill Weasley

Rowan Khanna

Rivals:

Merula Snyde

Rakepick

Enemies:

Voldemort and his death eaters

Rakepick

Dormmates: (Who’s in your MC’s dorm with them?)

Rowan Khanna

Pets: An owl named Merlot

Closest Canon Friends:

Nymphadora Tonks

Rowan Khanna

Penny Haywood

Bill Weasley

Charlie Weasley

Closest MC Friends (HPHM):

Whoever wants to be friend with Ada, tell me, and I’ll add your MC here!

Background/History

1st Year:

Ada was sorted into Gryffindor, just like her father and Jacob. Her mother Miranda was a Ravenclaw.

She met Rowan, Charlie and Penny during her first and they all became very close, with Dora, very quickly.

Ada suffer a lot about her brother reputation and really hates when someone tries to insult him in front of her. Her friends had to stop her a lot to jinx people who would do that

Trying to find her brother became one of her priorities, especially after their mother’s death on February

The first summer she spent to Tonks was both sad and calm. The Tonks made her feel like home and tried everything to make her feel better.

2nd Year:

Ada’s and her friends tries to do everything to fond Ben after he disappeared

Ada meets one of her future best friends: Bill Weasley

In the Second Vaults, Ada finds a notebook and Jacob’s broken wand

It’s during the Christmas of this year that Andromeda and Ada create their star ritual

Ada’s summer is much happier than the previous one. Charlie comes to spent a few days at the Tonks.

3rd Year:

Ada becomes a chaser for the Gryffindor Quidditch team

She meets Tulip and Barnaby

4th Year:

This is the year Ada and Penny admit their attraction to each other. Tonks was the first one to made Ada notice she had a crush on Penny.

They go to the Celestial ball and on a first date together

The events of the game continue

5th Year:

Ada spend the year in detention, punished by Dumbledore because of the events of the previous years which doesn’t stop her to continue looking into the Vaults

Penny’s sister is trapped into a painting, and Penny is way too worried to continue their dating which Ada fully understand

On Valentine’s day however, Penny ask her out. Even though they spend a lovely evening, that reminds them their feelings are still here, they decide to not date afterwards as they both feel this is not the right time.

Ada share Dora’s dream to become an Auror and she obtains enough OWLs to persue that dream.

6th Year:

Ada is still very much in love with Penny, but doesn’t talk to her about it as she is too afraid she will be rejected if Penny’s feelings changed

Ada is devastated by a certain death (spoiler)

In April, she turns 17 and there is a big party in the Gryffindor common room. Her friends from other houses are allowed to come to the party. She has tons of gifts including a beautiful watch from Andromeda, a collector T-shirt of her favorite music group from Dora, a dedicated picture of a famous Quiddich chaser from Ted and a little sphere of glass with a little golden flower in it as a pendant from Penny. She adds it to her necklace next to her mother’s ring.

7th Year:

Ada and Penny finally start to date

The story about the vaults is finally over

Ada takes her NEWTs and has enough to begin her Auror formation after her graduation with Dora

Order of the Phoenix / 2nd Wizarding War:

Ada and Penny are still dating. They move in together after Dora married Remus.

Ada is recruted by Kingsley, just like Dora, to become a member of the Order of the Phoenix.

Both Penny and Ada fight at the battle of Hogwarts. Penny is unharmed, but Ada has now a scar on her right cheek. She’s also devastated by Dora’a death

Post-War:

Ada and Penny both move in with Andromeda for a while. Both Ada and Andy needed it

Penny and Ada spend the rest of their life together

They don’t adopt any kids but both are really close with Teddy

Old Age & Death:

Penny and Ada both die of old age

Personality

Ada is very empathetic. She really hates to see people suffer and would to anything to prevent it, especially with people she loves

She is also very passionate. When she loves something or someone, she’ll love them with her entire body and mind.

She loves keeping objects that have a powerful meaning to it: Her mother’s engagment ring, letters from people she loves, the bracelet Andromeda gave her when she was still a baby etc. She cherries them because they remind her of good memories

On certain subjects, she’s very sensitive. She would for example get really mad if someone insulted her brother or other members of her family. One day, she was at Diagon Alley with Andromeda and an Pure-blood supremacist recognized Andy and began to insult her of blood-traiter and other horrible stuff. Andy didn’t say anything because she was used to it, but Ada was really offended and she kicked the man between the legs. Ted and Andy refused to punish her for it.

Others stuffs

Ada’s favorite dessert is apple pie. Her mother’s was the best one she ever had. Her second favorite was Andy’s apple pie.

Her favorite colour is red

She loves to wear muggles fashion

She loves french food

Her maternal Grandmother Margot, taught her french and Ada is bilingual

And doesn’t really like British food, except for certain things

#hphm mc #hphm profile template #tonks #harry potter #harry potter hogwarts mystery

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perfectackeracy · 6 years

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“When the story stops sucking...”

Ok so you’ve probably noticed my lack of reviews and activity in general. Even the anime didn’t make me raise my voice more than usual lately.

I’m gonna make it short: my lack of activity on meta and theories is mostly due to a lack of passion and interest regarding the manga events. It’s been since April that I haven’t written anything globally consistent, and it was mostly because the chapters were devoid of an interesting topic to elaborate upon. Everything I wanted to say was scattered in my asks and I had no motivation to sum everything up.

When I first started this blog, I mostly held theories about what was going outside the walls, what were the enemy’s true motivations and how the story could end. Even after the dull battle that was RtS, there was still something to elaborate upon: who was Zeke? What’s going to happen to Reiner and Bertolt from now on? What’s located inside the basement? What is the truth behind the world? Back in the day, I was more passionate on character analysis and what lies behind their motives.

The first major ragequit I’ve experienced was two years ago: two of my favorite characters died for some cheap, unnecessary drama (that wasn’t that unnecessary when you analyze Isayama’s words). At that time, when the basement’s secrets were revealed, I was more interested in how things can turn dark on Paradis than attachment to what’s left of the characters, since my favorites were on the other side of the ocean, dead or dead inside. Still, the prospect of a dark Eren following the wrong path because he can ws interesting enough to keep me interested.

Then we’ve got the Marley arc. An arc I was more than happy to follow, with an exclusive point of view from the fighters located on the other side, a team which has my favorite and a bunch of kids I came to appreciate. Naturally I would deliver as I’ve always delivered up until a certain point. You had Reiner dealing with the pain and the guilt accumulated through these years, the interactions between the group of warriors, an empire on decline, Zeke’s questionable motives, Eren’s presence that will ultimately cast doom, not only on Marley but also on the rest of the world, including Paradis.

Then the SC came and things weren’t as interesting anymore…

It’s almost as if the SC’s reintroduction brought anything I didn’t want out of the series: we’ve got the same dull fights since RtS, the same plot-armored cast, the same sob comedy we had an arc ago and Zeke’s character who currently looks like an expy of Light Yagami and his 456138D chess consisting in anticipating everybody to accomplish his goals. The entirety of Vol. 26 was more a deception than a satisfactory volume.

We’ve transitioned from a geopolitical festival to a full-fledged battle with a twist at the end, as well as some flashbacks, and the whole thing was either dull or laughable. Let’s review this point by point to show you how disappointing this whole mess was.

The action sequence

To summarize the whole battle: Eren transforms into the Attack Titan, the Warhammer had him cornered, Mikasa saves him at the last minute, Jean and co. barge in and defeat the Marleyan troops, Warhammer has more resources but Eren can put two and two, Porco comes to Sister Tybur’s rescue but overestimated Paradis, Porco was saved by Pieck, Zeke comes in, Zeke has to act, Armin nukes the harbor, Porco gets distracted and fucks up, which leads to Zeke being captured and Pieck fucking up, as Pieck was about to be finished, Falco and Magath interfere, the kids hide Pieck, Porco fights against Eren but panics in front of the zeppelin, screw up and allowed Eren to use him as a nutcracker, Porco almost dies but is rescued by a suicidal Reiner, everybody boards up safely and fuck off from Liberio with Zeke, another titan power, and the last remaining cadets, one of them successfully killing a soldier who had death flags on her for a long time.

To be frank, I’m not sure how people can think it’s a good battle overall. On one hand, you have a bunch of soldiers in gear with titanium plot armor and on the other hand you have a team of warriors who need to be ridiculed through and through and pass for incompetents as Eren does his job without suffering any consequences during the battle. The most active, Pieck and Porco went from careful to suddenly disoriented, being put down by their enemies just like that, not making this fight even equal. It’s not even close to RtS’ sense of battle, where the SC was backed against the wall before returning the situation with crappy tactics. Here, we’re witnessing an emergency plan working rather well. Too well even. 6 deaths in total? Really? On the other hands, you’ve got Marley depleted from two more titan powers, Pieck’s panzer unit and a couple of soldiers.

Concerning titan fights, Porco and Lady Tybur held their own against Eren but were wrecked not so long after they gave their best. Porco in particular is a huge contradiction, who went from prideful (vs. Levi) to careful (to Pieck) to outright rushing everything (seeing the Colossus and seeing the blimp). It was a bit embarrassing on his behalf.

The battle also recycles some common elements that are quite tiresome to watch: Mikasa saving Eren when he’s getting backed in a corner, Armin’s basic plans -that nobody could ever guess-, always working while everybody acts like a clueless moron around him, Jean being contradictory… For an arc supposed to illustrate the divergence of the main trio, there wasn’t much to show except both Mikasa and Armin being disappointed in Eren’s actions.

Even the major deaths of this arc were neither shocking nor impactful. The most shocking deaths I can recall were Udo and Zofia’s because they were kids, but they weren’t painted as prominent characters in the cadet batch unlike Falco and Gabi. Next we had Willy Tybur, whose death was expected in the same chapter he died in, his sister, who had a fair chance to only serve as a placeholder to be eaten, and Sasha, who not only had red flags being painted all over her (killing the guards in front of Gabi, being the only one not wearing a breast plate), but was the subject of Isayama’s planned death (from Oita’s Q&A, March 2018). Sasha was already a non-character at this point, and him spending a whole funeral (when no other character got this privilege) was just plain obnoxious.

The characters

I’m still amazed -and not in a good way- by how bland the main staff became. Supposing it was remotely entertaining to make me root for them, my thoughts would’ve been something other than “Jesus fucking christ when will someone die already Gabi please shoot these fuckers”.

In simpler terms, Eren is by far the most entertaining character of the SC so far. While I understand the need to oppose Eren to his comrades in terms of ideology, his opponents are either uncaptivating or uninteresting to watch.

Armin is, of course and by far, the biggest offender. From the victim of Eren’s actions, he’s the one who opposes Eren’s individualistic views, but his character -or rather, his lack of- makes it hard to sympathize with. Simply speaking, a simpleton like him would’ve been better if he didn’t enjoy himself like an idiot after not only inheriting the CT, but also living at the price of Erwin. His unexplainable mastery of the CT at the same level than a natural like Bertolt, as well as a poor copypaste of the sad giant who never wanted this feels at the same time forced, redundant and bent over for the character’s convenience. The way a gary-stu would. To add more on the injury, Hange, the commander, passes as a complete buffoon in front of him, going as far as to praise his basic plans and compare him to Erwin. When you combine Isayama’s interviews and his position in the story, the way he comes off as a special snowflake feels unwanted. Even more when he got to live at the expense of two -potentially- more interesting and more popular characters.

In the end, we’ve got an amalgamate trying to narrate the story to Annie, who wasn’t seen for six years, but who was used as a confidence pillow. Considering Armin is a grown man who, in the end, chose to go with Eren and used gary stu nukes against Marley, am I supposed to sympathize with this? You know, it’s a good thing Armin tanked in popularity. His character was borderline insufferable in the former arc, and in this one, you just wish someone would mercy crunch him.

Fortunately Armin is by far the worst, but other members have their characters suffering post-timeskip. Special mentions to Hange and Levi. Hange either switched between the eccentric clown and the serious commander. While I’m ok with them being less competent than Erwin due to the pressure, they’re also a vet losing all their team members and yet displaying the personality they always did before timeskip. It’s no longer the squad leader specializing in research, but the commander, sometimes incapable to maintain a serious side, like when Yelena introduced the anti-Marley soldiers. While there’s a certain pressure coming from Zeke’s directives but also Eren’s decisions, their whole character is somewhat lackluster. Going from almost leaving the strategies to Armin to outright try and be friendly with Eren while he’s, once again, jailed, right after scolding him.

Moving on to Levi, while he held his promise for later I’m under the impression he became a meme without convictions more than anything. All he does in these chapters is threatening Zeke, which can be fun the first time but quickly becomes annoying, since we’re getting back in the old ways where Levi lacked development and was simply the clean freak, who also happened to be Paradis’ strongest soldier. He doesn’t have much usefulness in the story except being the sharp razor cutter of the group. Considering what Isayama said in the character directory it had to be expected, but it’s still annoying.

The character I’m feeling sad for so far are Historia and Reiner: Historia because she still doesn’t know what she really wants and bends again to someone else’s demands, even giving her body to fill the conditions of a potential savior, all at the expense of her freedom, pride and happiness. I’m surprised she agreed with Kiyomi’s conditions so quickly, however. Meanwhile Reiner was feeling suicidal up to the point of letting himself die. Had it not been for Gabi and Falco calling him, Porco would be dead. Still disappointed the volume didn’t end on his point of view. Besides, I was expecting him thinking about Bertolt during his coma, since Eren picking him up was similar to how Bertolt picked him up as they were kids. Yet another blueballing moment for Bertolt’s closure… Oh well.

Jean is more or less okay. His character is consistent, but he feels to much like an underdog in comparison of other characters who have been put in front. He’s still the same guy who acts tough but still has a moment of hesitation. I still don’t get why he’s used for convenient survivals, especially when he decided to not toss Gabi and Falco away from the blimp. Gabi, a trained soldier, killed Sasha, who was one of your besties for a long time? Ok let’s not throw them out and blame Eren on this whole fiasco!

I’ve said my mind about Floch, but him becoming a fanboy of Eren was unexpected and I’m curious to see what role he’s going to play in the future. Connie’s reactions to him teaming up with the man who was responsible for his village being devastated is too lackluster. Still, him describing Sasha’s loss as a part of him dying was touching.

Sasha was practically a non-character whose death would’ve been more impactful if it was set on for earlier. Isayama let her not only for the sidelines for way too long, but she ended up being the only “major” death on Paradis, with a couple of death flags on her. The result was not only predictable, but quite obnoxious with the over-extended funeral. Her character never got past the food jokes and Isayama is adding another layer of grief and mourning. Layer that could be shortened and used for something else. If there was another one I’d say ok, but this extra mourning is just really unnecessary. No character, not even Erwin, had this treatment before. Is it happening because Sasha doesn’t require much plot significance like Marco?

Gabi deserves my appreciation however. Her motivations to become a warrior were touching and understandable if you’re a member of a minority who strives to be accepted among other folks who sees you and your upbringing as inferior.

Zeke is a complete enigma. His actions are the ones impacting the plot the most and I really don’t know what to make of this. His movies are clear and at the same time they aren’t. Clear in the sense that he plays everybody like a fiddle to reach some goal. Unclear in the sense we don’t understand precisely what this goal is and what pushes Zeke to do this. Whether it’s for the common good or his own safety. The keikaku master exposition is becoming old if we keep exploring yet again what’s happening on Paradis on the third year. It’s cool Zeke is at the origin of both solutions and conflicts, but nothing is really explained.

The current plot

Or more accurately, monkey shenanigans 2.0. They’re not really the most compelling but they’re interesting enough to follow the series monthly. Despite that, we’re getting more questions than answers with all these chapters. If Zeke sides with neither camp, what is he fighting for exactly?

Since vol. 26 was mostly battles, not much questions have been answered to, and in the end, we’re spending more time with Paradis’ cast, getting more and more unlikeable with each chapter, falling into their own ways, rather than finishing with Marley, a cast we’re accustomed to since vol. 23. It would’ve been much better to end the battle of Liberio on Marley’s point of view first, then explain the flashbacks after. Engaging on an exposition dump was a clumsy move, and ending the battle to see a bunch of soldiers attacking another nation like terrorists acting like a bunch of clowns feels off compared to the settled tone.

Plus, so many scenes could’ve been shortened or skipped to insert other character moments instead. Sasha’s funeral comes to mind. You could’ve cut it half and have Historia thinking about Ymir when Kiyomi made her a proposition. The food jokes are outdated anyway and they make the story feel more embarrassing to read than comical. Same thing as Levi threatening to make a sopa de macaco. Still a tier better than food jokes, but still annoying.

The sudden transition to Paradis really makes me wonder, overall, why I should care about these fucks while the Marley arc started with another perspective? You just can’t let things unfinished and have an exposition dump in the meantime.

#snk spoilers #snk 107 #snk vol 23 #snk #attack on titan #snk meta #meta #on a positive note #pixis is the best character on paradis so far

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drdapper13 · 6 years

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Fallout OCs!

Uh, hey! This is pretty much the first time I've released any info about all my Fallout OCs. If you're wondering how they all know each other and what this big plot is, basically the Enclave come back with Institute allies and some other mess. All the characters and pictures were created by yours truly, and I hope those who see enjoy!

Johnny Cole/ "Vault Dweller"

Summary

Johnathan Cole, or as you better know him as the Vault Dweller, was once a typical resident inside Vault 13. He didn't enjoy the lifestyle of living in a vault and wanted to see what the real world was like. It was only until Vault 13's water chip breaks when he finally gets his wish, and was now tasked to trek through the Californian Wasteland to find a new one before his Vault dies. He came across new places, new friends, and new threats. After he defeats the master through words, Johnny was claimed as a hero by many but was ousted from his vault by his Overseer out of the fear of others wanting to leave as well. Johnny left with no strength left to fight back, and left the vault forever. He set off into the mountains and began setting up a new tribe with other vault dwellers. Before he died of old age, he told his tribe to preserve his brain and asked one final request to bring him back somehow if something were to happen that could threaten his tribe. Many years later, Johnny was re created in the year of 2287 by the help of Vault Scientists from Vault City, who were able to bring him back thanks to tremendous breakthroughs in technology. He was brought back to life due to the Lone Wanderer, Courier, and Sole Survivor needing aid in taking out a new threat that Johnny will have to fight against.

Personality

Johnny is a rough and tumble type of guy, always enjoying to throw himself into a fight with no intention of backing out until the room is full of nothing but corpses. He may not always think before he talks, but he has pure intentions and always looking for anyone in need. He also won't hesitate in pulling the trigger first if things go south, so he needs a bit of restraint from his allies before he makes a wrong move. Though he seems thick skinned and fool hearty, Johnny is a simple and kind guy who you can talk to in a bar.

Cazzy

Summary

Cazzy can't really remember much about her life, considering it was composed of being in a bio gel tube in a induced coma. She was actually an experiment created by Enclave Scientists after they resurged, wondering what the effects could be on manipulating human dna and the various mutated animal dna together and how it could be used to their advantage. One day, she was able to break free due to a containment breach by another female creature created by the Enclave. They both escaped into the night and never seen each other since. With her on her own, she decided to stay in the shadows and keep sight from humans. She traveled to the Mojave, and while there she found out that she can befriend and control other wild Cazadors, which she found useful to find supplies without needing to go out in full view. She lived in a small cave, and even though she had her fellow Cazadors, she felt lonely and in need of companionship. She wasn't the greatest at speech either, and could only speak in short utterances. One day, she noticed that a group of humans were traveling down a trail, and one really caught her attention. A man with yellow blond hair and wearing a blue jumpsuit, it was none other than Johnny Cole, along with the rest of the crew. It was then that they got cornered and attacked by a band of Raiders who were waiting for a surprise attack. Before anyone could react, a loud sound of buzzing came began to get louder and louder, and in shock from everyone, a large swarm of Cazadors swarmed at them. It was then when the main five realized that the Cazadors went after the Raiders. The swarm attacked and killed the raiders, leaving nothing but stung and stiff corpses. The group were confused as to why they weren't attacked as well, but that's when they noticed the feminine bug walkong towards them, wearing nothing but a ragged cloak to cover herself. They were stunned with awe at the sight; a insectoid woman. With the best of her speech, she said "I save you" in a soft voice. They were now dumbfounded that she could talk. She began eyeballing them all with her giant red eyes and began eyeing down Johnny again. She liked the way that this human looked, toned and strong she could tell even from just looking at his tightly fitted suit. Johnny began eyeballing her back, and something sparked within him that he never felt in a long time since, and he could tell that she can feel it too. He was the first one to thank her for her act of kindness, and asked for her name. She paused, since she never had a name in the first place. Since Mojave knew about Cazadors, he gave the idea of Cazzy as a name. She seemed pleased with it, and kept it as her official name. Johnny pledged the idea of her joining along with the group, and while they were relunctant at the thought and the chances of this female bug lady killing them all with a swarm of bugs seemed likely, she never seemed hostile at them in the slightest and did save their asses. They all agreed, with Johnny being the most joyous, and Cazzy making a buzzing noise of delight. She packed up ther things and setted of witht the group, with a new interest on her right and a swarm of Cazadors on her left.

Personality

Cazzy in the beginning of her new life was very timid and quiet, fearing the world amd the people , how theh would react to seeing a creature such as her, and felt embarrassed about showing her body. She was also very curious about the world around her, but never had the strength to actually go out and explore. It was only until Johnny and the others came into her life to show her the real world. She's now become very open and more spring in her step , and could speak more fluently in English. She always wanted to experience companionship with someone, and was given that chance when she met Johnny. Cazzy doesn't exactly know how to use weaponry, but thanks to Johnny she knows how to handle a poison soaked knife and is pretty decent with a pistol, but would much rather use her swarm of Cazadors to take baddies out.

Griffin Cole/ "Chosen One

Summary

Griffin Cole is the grandson of Johnny Cole, the Vault Dweller and founder of his tribe. Griffin was tested and destined to become the new leader of his people, and was sought to be the "Chosen One". Griffin was sent on a mission to find the tribals that have gone missing. He then discovers of the Enclave, and their plans to find people to use as slaves to mine the FEV underneath their oil rig. He finds new friends and a sweet car, and after a long and treterous mission, he successfully kills Frank Horrigan and stops the Enclave from mining the FEV. He goes back and continues to lead his tribe until his death, in which he asks for the same procedure just like his grandfather and the promise to bring him back if a new threat occured. He was re created in the year of 2287 by the help of Vault Scientists from Vault City, who were able to bring him back thanks to tremendous breakthroughs in technology. He was brought back to life due to the Lone Wanderer, Courier, and Sole Survivor needing aid in taking out a new threat that he and his grandfather will have to fight against.

Personality

Griffin takes alot from his grandfather. He enjoys throwing himself into a fight with little regard to his personal safety, and makes up for it with his powerful melee blows and bullet sponge armor made from the same material as Frank Horrigan's armor. Unlike the other members, Griffin enjoys being up close and personal and likes melee or unarmed combat, though he is a decent shot when it comes to his trusy Bozar. If melee isnt available, hell use his fists to make amends with what ever is bothering him. He may not act or sound like the sharpest, but there are moments where something comes out of him that sounds like it wouldn't come from him. He's a gentle giant, and a beefcake under his armor, which makes hima the center of attention and oggled by many women, both during his first and second life, though he isn't interested in being in a relationship as of now.

Sam Lincoln/ "Lone Wanderer"

Summary

Sam Lincoln was born and raised in Vault 101 and was taught mainly by his father, James Lincoln, a brilliant scientist who had an hopes and a dream of restoring the broken wasteland. His father always taught him that he'll achieve great things in the future, and great things Sam did indeed. When his father left Vault 101, Sam instantly took persuit and set on finding his father. Along the way, he finds new friends and helps the good people of the DC wasteland. Sam eventually finds his Father and helps the Lyon's Pride BoS take back the Jefferson Memorial to complete Project Purity. After the events of FO3 and Broken Steel, Sam decided to stay with the Lyon's Pride as their top tier sniper until their departure from the DC to the Commonwealth, where Sam decided to stay in the DC. It wasn't until Sam was called by the Courier and Sole Survivor to help them in their mits of stopping the Institute in FO4, and to stop an even bigger threat after that; the Enclave Resurged.

Personality

Though Sam may look 19, he’s actually 29 by the time the events of FO4 happen due to a unique age deficiency, making him appear younger. So the voice a mature British man coming out of a 19 year old is an odd site. Though he’s 29, Sam still has the heart of a child, so he still enjoys the things that would necessarily fit his age. He’s also the shortest of the group, only being 5′8 and a half so he gets picked on easily. Sam is an excellent sharpshooter, and enjoys staying out of the fray picking of any major threats that can come across his group with his trusty Lincoln’s Repeater. After the death of his father, Sam was only left with the life lessons that his dad told him, though he still felt lost without a father figure to help him. Luckily, being with the Sole Survivor during FO4 and the Enclave Resurgence gives him the chance to have someone to look up to, and although he’ll never forget his true father, the Sole Survivor is someone he definitely feels that he can teach him and help pick up where James sadly had to leave off.

Pollyn Matthews

Summary

Pollyn Matthews is the daughter of Ghoul gardeners and flower specialists, Ryan and Rachel Matthews. Because of their love for all things plants and flowers, she was named after the substance that helps plants grow. Pollyn was a miracle child when she was born, as she came out perfectly fine even though her parents were both Ghouls before she was born. Though after a few years, the process of ghoulification began to occur, though not as drastic as other Ghouls. She still kept her full head of red hair, and her skin wasn’t as damaged as her parents and didn’t smell like a rotting corpse, though she did lose her nose, and isn’t fully resistant to high levels of radiation. Though her process of becoming a full Ghoul seem to have stopped, she still fears of becoming feral, and having to fear wondering if or when her parents become feral, but she tries her best to hide the fear unless she feels that she can’t hold it in. Pollyn herself is a mercenary and bounty hunter of sorts, only going after Raider bosses, opposing mercenaries like Talon, and other bad guys. She then sells the loot she finds in her own shop, while her parents live the calmer life style of owning a flower shop, but still support her daughter in what she does, saying that what she does “rids the world of these no good junkies”. One day on a mission to take down a Raider boss, she came across a ginormous group of Talon Company mercs attacking a band of 5 men hiding behind a shack, obviously the situation wasn’t in their favor. The seemed to have no advantage as the group of Raiders seemed to posses more fire power and numbers than the 5 men and their act of flanking was non existent. She needed to act fast, and so with her trusty AA-12 shotgun and frag grenades, she ran in and blasted all the mercs into mince meat before any of them realized what was going on. All the men (Johnny, Griffin, Sam, Mojave, and Rick) could only hear the screaming of men and the sound of constant shotgun blasts, explosions, and bodies hitting the floor. They were shocked to see in the blink of an eye that a group of trained mercs that they thought would out beat them were single handedly slaughtered by one singular Ghoul. They thanked her for her help, and all she asked in return was to help her take their loot back to her shop. Sam felt a spark go off in him about this woman, but a Ghoul? He felt conflicted at first, but decided that a lot of things happen for a reason, but the problem was that he was never really good at making any moves. Pollyn could tell the young man was acting funny, and realized that the young man was interested in her. She felt shocked that someone would actually feel that way despite her appearance and just like Sam, she was never really good at making the first move. She felt embarrassed at having these feelings towards someone who was younger than her, but then felt relieved yet more embarrassed when Sam had to break the ice, as usual, that he was 29, a good 2 years older than her, yet noticeably shorter than her by about an inch or two. The rest of the men could do nothing but smile in pure smugness, and asked if she ever wants to lend a hand she can always give them a call, especially Sam. She was more than happy to accept the offer.

Personality

Pollyn is what you would call a tomboy, never having any interest in more feminine things and more into the rough and tumble style, and while she seems thick skinned and a bit abrasive, she's actually very sensitive and shy when it comes to showing her feelings. Sam himself loves both her tomboy ish charms and sensitive side, sometimes teasing her about it in a playful manner. Pollyn enjoys being loud, mainly when it comes to combat. She enjoys fragging enemies with grenades and shotguns, and is decent in melee combat with her trusty fire axe. Pollyn is always down to take down some baddies and won’t back down in a fight when it comes to protecting others.

Mojave Navarro/ “Courier Six”

Summary

Mojave Navarro was born in the Mojave Wasteland, and was the only child of his two parents, who were Bighorn and Brahmin ranchers. In his early years, Mojave enjoyed two things, western cowboy movies and fixing things. Mojave’s parents knew he was gifted when he was able to fix a broken Mister Handy into becoming their personal helper, discovering his knack of fixing robots. His father was able to get his hands on some old western flicks and tv shows back before the Great War and were in somewhat working condition. Mojave always dreamed of becoming a peace keeper, and would always ask his parents if he can become a sheriff. At age 15, Mojave began learning on how to use a gun, and a revolver felt right in his hands. He didn’t learn anything fancy but was a good shot with it, even at long ranges. By the time Mojave reached 20, his parents decided that it was time for them to retire and settle in Texas, where things were less hectic. Mojave, while saddened that his parents early departure, he was happy and thankful for them helping him out getting on his own feet. Mojave had to push the dream of being a sheriff in the back of his mind and settled off on working as a courier in the Mojave Express. It wasn’t a glamorous job, but it helped bring the caps in. While his life was simple and easy, Mojave knew that he could do so much more. It was only until he was assign to deliver a special package when his life was about to turn in a whole new direction. One moment he's walking down a trail with no worries in the world, and next thing he knows he’s tied up and confronted by three men, once of which was in a checkered suit, and pulled a gun on him. Next thing he knows, he’s waking up in an old house with a splitting headache. Insert most of Fallout NV’s plot n side quests which morally help people despite factions, and Mojave is now the owner of both Vegas and the Hoover Dam, with the help of Yes Man. When the plot of FO4 happens, Mojave sets up in the Commonwealth as a robot repairman in an old Red Rocket gas station, where he creates, sells, and repairs robots. He also created Sunset, his robot lover

Personality

Mojave is a calm and collective individual, always sounding confident with every word that comes out of his smooth talking mouth. Whenever he sees the opportunity to make some money (as long as it isn’t on those who are good of heart and aren't bad guys) he’ll take the advantage. His charisma is enough to make anyone change their mind, which can be useful in a pinch. Mojave is a keeper of piece always looking out for the good of the people, but doesn’t enjoy it when referred t o as an “Anarchist”. Mojave is a Jack of all Trades and a Master of None, meaning he can do just about anything and everything and anything that is put up in front of him; sneaking, sniping, melee combat, all the good stuff, but he's most experienced with gunslinging and repairing. Mojave will rarely bring up his temper, but when it does hell has no fury like his scorn.

Sunset Nevada

Summary

Sunset Nevada was created by Mojave Navarro in an effort to create someone to call his own. From what Mojave remembered, Mojave made her to be as unique and as human as possible. It took him months to create and design every aspect of her, from body to personality, but kept her inner conscious open so that she can learn and understand things on her own. It took him countless trials and errors, and when he believed that he was close and turned her on, she didn’t respond. He sat on the floor, anguished and distraught in defeat, believing that he failed to bring him someone to truly love. It was only then that he hear a faint, “hello? Are you okay?” and looked up to see the beautiful robot he created was awake, and talking. He ran up to her and hugged her tightly, and she embraced the hug. After her initial start up, Sunset eased within the wasteland, thanks to Mojave feeding her inner code with all the info she needed to know (or for what he knew and could find) with both Pre-war and post war stuff, but just enough where she can still discover things on her own. Mojave also added hints about him within her, just so that she begins her relationship with him and naturally falls for him over time, and so it did. Mojave introduced her to the gang, and were happy to have a new member in the gang, and could clearly see the improvement on Mojave himself.

Personality

Sunset Nevada is a bubbly and happy individual, always curious about anything thats new and always excited to try something new. She is the very thing that makes Mojave keep on going, saying that she is, “the only one for him,” and promises to never let anything happen to her. She is unique in the fact that she is a one of a kind Assaultron, with a personality and “consciousness” that is as close to human as possible, similar to a Synth. Her body was handcrafted by Mojave and colored to be of a beautiful desert sunset, hence her name. Mojave taught her to never let anyone discourage or take advantage of her of being a robot, due to varying factions that involve robots (Rust Devils, BoS, etc.) and she always takes it to heart, and even when she does have thoughts of self doubt, it instantly dissipates when she embraces her lover. Sunset’s arsenal includes a gun varying the situation, an Assaultron Blade sword, and her special laser that most Assaultrons have that comes from her eye. She hates when people compare her or think of her as just an Assaultron, and has a distaste for other Assaultrons, except a few (PAM, Ada, and KLE-0) for being nothing more than pre-programmed killing machines, and shows it when she fights them, claiming that they aren't her “sisters”.

Rick Deckard/ “Sole Survivor”

Rick Deckard

Rick Deckard during his Pre-War times, was an outstanding man. At a young age, he joined the Commonwealth Police Force, and after that he joined the military to save his country. After his honorable discharge, Rick settled down and married his high school sweetheart, Nora, and had a baby named Shaun. All that changed when the bombs dropped, and they had to enter Vault 111, where they didn’t realize they were walking into a freezing chamber. Rick woke up at one point to see that his wife was being apprehended buy two people, and was needlessly murdered by Kellogg for his son. He froze again, and finally woke up again, now 210 years after they initially entered the vault. Nate wanted vengeance and justice, and set off into the new and broken world that was the Wasteland. He joined the Minutemen, and after Fallout 4′s, he’s set off on to help restore the Commonwealth. While in the Commonwealth, he helped most of his companions, and even fell in love with Curie.

Personality

Rick is a hardened man, and knows how to work in a firefight. He’s smart, tactical, and knows how to turn the tide of a battle to his favor, which makes him an amazing general of the Minutemen. But just because he’s hardened does’t mean he’s lost his sense of human or sensitivity, and still knows how to have a good time. He can be pretty sarcastic, but only comes to it when it comes to someone who's not on his good side. Since Rick is a father, He's really determined to make sure everyone shows their true potential and to never stop doing what they believe in, and is really protective about those he cares about.

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ironbloodaika · 7 years

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What are your top 10 superheroines and why?

I normally don’t do Top 10′s since I suck at narrowing things down, but I just can’t say no to you. XD I’ll give this a shot. These lovely ladies won’t be in any individual order of preference. I’ll just summarize what I like both about their looks and characters.

Harley Quinn: In recent years Harley’s proven to be a hero in her own right, thanks to shaking off the grip of the Joker’s influence. Harley’s a very sweet and fun character, bringing a lot of joy and color into otherwise dark stories, but not without some craziness to make her out of place in the setting. Her outfits and personality are adorable and she’s very affectionate to those she loves, plus she’s one of those characters who’s had a WIDE range of costumes, but each works since Harley’s traits are so defined, you never have difficulty picking her from a crowd.

Batgirl: Another lovely lady from Gotham’s night life I was introduced to by the Batman Animated Series. I was especially a fan of her depiction in the final seasons were she became more of a main part of the team (being voiced by the ever awesome Tara Strong didn’t hurt). XD She kicks in all her finery, heels and red hair blazing. I liked how she had her own relationship with Batman as opposed to the Robin’s as she herself joined the fight against crime instead of being recruited. She listened to Batman because of his experience and training, but wasn’t beholden to him either, but never let anything like ego get in the way of saving the day or from speaking her mind and using her skills. Also LOVED how in SBFF she was a total fangirl for Batman...the Frank Miller-esque Batman. The difference in design is hilarious!

Wonder Woman: A character I really didn’t get to know until the Justice League cartoon, since the Super Friends version was rather bland in character. She really earned her spot among the Trinity. She’s not just gorgeous with a body that shows quite a bit of muscle, but she’s also able to go toe-to-toe with people in Superman’s league and doesn’t have any issue getting her hands dirty or fighting dirty if the situation calls for it. I also liked a trait in the comics that, sadly, hasn’t been as well depicted in the cartoons, is her compassion. She’s someone who’s just as willing to offer someone a helping hand as she is willing to lay down a smackdown. She manages to walk the line of a kick-ass warrior and someone who favors peace without breaking stride.

Supergirl: Another I owe to the DCAU. I liked her style and design and the friendship she had with Barbara and the family she made with Superman and the Kents. And I’m kinda cheating with combining her with the SBFF version too, but I liked her muscles and curves. :3 So hot! But back to personality I liked how she both wanted to be her own hero and not just be seen as Superman’s cousin, but was also proud to be a part of the family and wore his hero crest with pride.

Raven: I didn’t notice her at first when the show first started (my eyes were first drawn to Starfire) but as time went on I saw her as more than just a ‘goth’ character I starting to see more of in fiction. Unlike a lot of goth characters at the time, Raven was never really a bitch or jerk to the team. She was a little guarded and quiet, but she still considered them friends and had no issue being friends with them. There’s a very nice bit of subtle changes to her design as the series goes on, with her wearing her hood up less and less when hanging with her friends outside of battles. She becomes more open with them, smiling and laughing with their shenanigans (most of the time). And as TTG showed us QUITE a bit, she’s got a LOT to like under that cloak. :3

Starfire: She was the first I noticed mostly through her looks. While her outfit wasn’t as revealing as her comics outfit, it was still a huge shock to someone used to Supergirl and Batgirl’s style of dress. That said I learned to see more to the character than looks and really enjoyed how sweet and emotional she was. She wasn’t a push over by any means, she was just someone who truly and honestly loved her friends and would do anything to help them out or keep them happy. That sorta genuine affection is rare and pretty adorable. She’s the kind of person we all wish we had in life. Also I found her attitude towards love, sex, and relationships (in the early comics at least before the reboot) to be pretty mature and showing she clearly understands the concepts which a lot of people have a hard time grasping (even helping out Raven understanding her own feelings ont he subject).

Empowered: An original hero of @adamwarrencomics creations, I discovered her from some art I came across on Deviantart. I gotta be honest, when I first saw the previews and read the book summary, I bought the first issue thinking it was just gonna be some light fan-service and parody. Thankfully I was wrong about that. The shallow bit that is. While the story doesn’t shy away from EMP, her body, or her relationship with her boyfriend time and again, it never does it in a way you could call crude or exploitative. It all flows naturally with the narrative that follows her life as a hero, both in the field and at home. You really feel for the girl and her struggle to be a hero and the constant shit her so-called “co-workers” and even random civvies give her. You just wanna give her a hug. But not because she’s gorgeous or anything, but because you honestly believe in her. You know she can be a kick-ass superhero and know she can prove those jack-asses wrong. And with every issue you see her overcoming each obstructed in her way and becoming more and more self-assured and effective as a hero. It also helps when you see she’s one of the few heroes without any showboating tendencies. She helps others from a desire to genuinely help and do good.

Artemis: Husky voice, blonde hair, tan skin, pony-tail, muscles, and abs you could grate cheese on. :3 Pure 10 out of 10 on the looks scale. :3 Now for character I like Artemis cause she’s very different from other superheroines in that she’s much more in your face and not one to take shit from people. Now to some people that means to be an asshole or be the only one making decisions, but for her it just means not letting others speak for her and to let other walk over her. A lot of people seemed to not like her for that reason (despite praising guy characters for literally the same thing) but I really liked it. Tough girls kick ass. And when you know about her history, her attitude makes sense. When you’re raised by a mentally, physically, and verbally abusive asshole who wants to mold you into a side-kick for his merc business, you’d want to stick it to the guy by doing good and making your atoner mom proud. With that sorta determination, you’re not gonna take any new-gal hazing. XD But that said, she was also nice and considered the others her friends, even if it was rough goings at first, to the point she was willing to reveal VERY personal information to them, rather than be blackmailed. VERY nice change of pace from the standard tropes in fiction.

Huntress: Another hard-nosed hottie with a thing for arrows, I was introduced to her with Justice League Unlimited. I really felt for the character. The daughter of a mob boss who was murdered along with her mother in front of her by one of their subordinates. It’s not hard to see her trying to get her revenge on the SOB, even if it means getting kicked out of the Justice League and taking on Black Canary and Green Arrow to do it. While she does eventually make the right call, I honestly found myself rooting for her at times because you really felt for her. But at least she got a nice relationship with The Question out of all of it and it was one of the most adorable pairings in the entire show. She was willing to kick some MAJOR ass to keep him safe and it took Superman to reign her in from straight up killing people. Not in the comics I think. Also, them legs and that AB WINDOW. What is it with girls with arrows and having killer abs? XD

Uravity/Froppy: Bit of a tie since I like them both. Froppy is adorable and is blunt and honest without being a bitch, a trap that befalls most characters. She’s sweet to her friends and is willing to put her life on the life for them no questions asked. She was seconds away from a literal Touch of Death, but spent what would have been her last moments trying to get her friend away from getting crushed to death. Also if her and Attea have taught me anything, frog-girls are fucking adorable. Dem legs and dat ass. :3 As for Uravity she is SUCH a breath of fresh air for anime female leads. She’s not a Tsundere Bitch to the lead and is nothing but a compassionate and supporting friend to Deku, even after just meeting him once. She feels guilty that her goals for being a hero aren’t as altruistic as the others, but are still noble in that she hopes to get enough money to give her parents an easy life after a life time of back-breaking labor. She’s just a very supportive character always pushing herself to get better and really showing some great character in doing so. Plus who doesn’t love that adorable blush of hers and that bit of thickness on her. :3 Very nice. XD

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brianjaeger · 4 years

Text

2020 Academy Award Best Picture Nominees Guide For Those Who Haven’t Actually Watched Them

The 92nd Oscars are here and it’s time yet again for all of us to lord over one year’s worth of millions of people’s passions with the certainty of a judge at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show (which ironically takes places one day later) and say aloud, “This art is and forever shall be known as better than that other art!”

Throw the notion that expression through the medium of film can exist simply to reflect a myriad of emotions and varied experiences right into the wind. We gotta know what that BEST art is, son!

So with mere hours left before Sunday’s spectacle, you’re probably asking yourself one question. “Brian, why do you keep doing this?” No, not that one. “Brian, Tumblr? Really? Does that still exist? Why don’t you spend the slightest amount of time to find a better medium for this?” No, not that one either. “But Brian, I haven’t actually watched any of these films. What am I going to do?!” Ah, now that’s the one. But fear not. I’ve got you covered. For the 6th time, I’m here to give you a rundown of what I think all of these movies are about without actually seeing them, along with some pithy little talking points to take into your Oscar parties to sound like a goddamn genius.

Ford V Ferrari

In this epic clash of man vs. nature set in the den of Harrison Ford’s summer home in Plano, Texas, the extremely hungry aging star has just had a large pie from Ferrari’s Pizzeria, located at 3949 Legacy Drive, delivered…and now it is time for battle. On the About Us section of their website, Ferrari’s Pizzeria makes a “promise to our customers to provide the best Italian food using recipes handed down from our Italian grandmothers.” Hold on to your Italian grandmothers, kids - that promise is about to be put to the test. (Yeah, it’s real.)

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

That cameo by Mater from Cars is really what pushed this film into Oscar contention.

Christian Bale's car in Ford V Ferrari is also an unwavering method actor and remained in character as a car for the entirety of production.

Who won? I'll give you a hint, in the long run, it was not the quality of life for the American working class!

The Irishman

In this gritty thriller, Lucky the Leprechaun’s father, Frank Leprechaun, an immigrant who worked as a farrier making horseshoes in Ireland before coming to America, wishes on a shooting star for a way to make a better life for his family. He finds that chance by doing hits for the mob and we see his first job take place under a pale moon, when he shoots a diamond store clerk in the heart, blood red ballooning out onto the green grass, like crimson and clover. Later, an aging Frank Leprechaun kills union leader Jimmy Hoffa and as he dies, he divulges the secret that Hoffa’s body is buried on a plantation in Lexington to Lucky. The young boy looks back and makes a firm promise to his dying father. “They’ll never get Kentucky farm.”

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

The de-aging technology used in The Irishman was so advanced that, while you can’t see it, De Niro's testicles are actually two inches higher in the first half of the movie.

The run time of the movie is 3 hours and 30 minutes which is also the average amount of time Netflix users scroll through options before deciding to just watch the same episode of The Office again.

In Ireland, this movie is known as The Man.

JoJo Rabbit

From M. Night Shyamalan comes the story of a scared young boy who claims to see Jewish people. While adults around him are trying very hard to see them too, it’s Adolf Hitler who helps the boy to overcome his fear and actually communicate with the Jews to understand them and realize that the reason that he can see them is because he can help them. And then at the end we realize that Hitler was actually a Jew himself THE WHOLE TIME!

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

I thought it was just a bit on the nose that Taika Waititi chose to have JoJo sing her hit “Leave (Get Out)” at all the Nazis during the Allied occupation of Germany.

While juggling roles in Marriage Story and JoJo Rabbit, Scarlett Johansson would often get confused resulting in one day on set when she tried to cut Sam Rockwell’s hair in a bathtub.

Of all the nominated films, when it comes to winning Best Picture, this is…Nazi one! (Cough. Look around. Place your drink on the table. Slowly collect your coat, walk to the door, pause as if to turn, sigh, leave.)

Joker

It’s 1964 and Cesar Romero has established himself as a force in Hollywood. A multi-talented performer and veteran of WWII, Romero has amassed an impressive body of work playing roles as a versatile character actor, when he gets a call from his agent.

Agent: Cesar, I’ve got something that I think you’d be perfect for.

Cesar Romero: Is it a complex villain in a new Western? A dark turn as a gangster in a noir? A comedic foil in a Sinatra vehicle?

Agent: No. Better.

Cesar Romero: What is it?

Agent: Get this. An evil clown Batman nemesis…on TV!

(Silence.)

Cesar Romero: Um.

Agent: You’ll be kind of like a sidekick to Burgess Meredith! And guess what he is?

Cesar Romero: (Deep breath.) What is he?

Agent: Like a half-man, half-penguin sort of thing…I think. But he’s also evil! Oh, and you’ll also get to star alongside Julie Newmar!

Cesar Romero: Oh, well that may have legs. So, do we have a “will they, won’t they” dynamic?

Agent: Not at all! But she is evil too. And also part cat!

Cesar Romero: I do not understand any of what you are saying.

Agent: And it’s got Frank Gorshin!

Cesar Romero: And what is he? Let me guess. Like an evil frog person?

Agent: No, no! He’s The Riddler. It’s sort of the same exact deal as your character, only he doesn’t wear any makeup. Isn’t this wonderful?!

Cesar Romero: (Pause.) You have to be joking.

Agent: No, Cesar. YOU have…to be joking.

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

We still have a little bit of time for Joaquin Phoenix to die and win a posthumous Oscar for this role and keep with tradition. Then in 11 more years, a woman will win Best Supporting Actress for playing the Joker role and then in another 11 years the actual Joker will direct Joe Kerr in a reboot co-starring the Impractical Jokers…and win an Oscar.

I found the end scene touching when Arthur’s wife delivers his child and asks, “Arthur, what do you want to name your son?” And he replies, “Béla.”

Todd Phillips only made this big flashy blockbuster for the studio so that they’d let him do his deeply personal, intimate art house project, The Hangover IV.

Little Women

In a fresh take on a movie that I think is about some nuns living in a cottage during, fuck, I dunno like 1845? 1912? Aught 5? but there’s like a mean one, and a smart-and-sort-of-pretty-but-not-too-pretty one, and they probably have a dog, oh and a horse, and they have fights about vying for the love of the same boy they grew up with who is now some hot stud with poofy hair and poofy shirts and a nasally British accent, oh and there’s 2-3 other sisters that really just serve to further the main sister’s plot, and there is like fucking grass everywhere and how is all that grass not staining the shit out of those long flowy dresses that they always wear on their farm – or is it a glen? can you live ON a glen? – but later the guy marries the right one and he’s a strong man but is totally cool with her writing about some bullshit about being like a female doctor pioneer or something – oh and she’s wearing a straw hat with like a ribbon that’s always flapping the fuck around behind her – I forgot also that they only have one parent, the other is definitely dead and that comes up a little too often, and my mom and two sisters have to have tissues near the goddamn couch while they watch this seemingly 14 hour fucking miniseries or movie or Hallmark marathon because even though each of them could goddamn recite the dialogue from memory they still cry every…single…time…and OH MY GOD, CAN THIS ANNE OF GREEN GABLES, SOUND OF MUSIC, LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE, PRIDE AND PREJUDICE OR WHATEVER THIS GIRL STUFF IS PLEASE BE OVER SO I CAN HAVE THE LIVING ROOM TV BACK TO WATCH BOY STUFF!

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

Not many people know this fact but on her death bed, Louisa May Alcott’s final request was that if a woman ever directed a film adaptation of Little Women they would absolutely under no circumstances be nominated for a Best Director Oscar. So, really, that’s on her.

To ants, these are very big women.

Alan Dershowitz and Prince Andrew's favorite film.

Marriage Story

Dr. Ellie Sattler has established her second career as a divorce attorney after years as a paleobotanist and now fights so that “woman inherits the earth”...or at least gets primary custody and more than half of the assets.

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

The roommates of Noah Baumbach and Greta Gerwig have become increasingly annoyed listening to several minutes of the two repeating, “No I hope YOU are recognized by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences with the Academy Award for Best Picture…and hang up first,” before ending their long phone calls every night.

While juggling roles in Marriage Story and JoJo Rabbit, Scarlett Johansson would often get confused resulting in one day on set when she tried to hide Robert Smigel in the attic.

Variety reports that a remake of Marriage Story is now slated for fall of 2026 with Colin Jost in the role originated by Adam Driver in a version of the story that will be produced by real life.

1917

The seventh and final installment of the 1910's saga follows the previous successful box office hits 1911: The First One, 1912: Now There's Two, 1913: Why Not Three, 1914: Get It? Years Are Sequential. That’s Really All This Joke Is, 1915: This Is The Fifth One (But Fourth Sequel), and 1916: 19 Fast 16 Furious.

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

Originally, the movie was supposed to have a ton of cuts between scenes but after saying, “Action,” a producer whispered to Sam Mendes that they only had budget left for one single take after hiring every single recognizable British actor still alive – so Mendes started screaming, “Run! You there, start shooting at them. Keep rolling! Keep running! Jump down that waterfall! Let’s go, people, keep up! Hide in those trees now! Oh look, more bad guys! Pew pew! Duck! Run over that way! Do not…stop…shooting!”

If this movie was called 2017, Colin Firth would have just pulled out his Samsung Galaxy Note 8 and texted, “Call off attack,” with a GIF of Admiral Ackbar saying, “It’s A Trap!” Then, mere seconds later he would have received, “lol k thx”.

1917 earned Benedict Cumberbatch a nomination for “Most Distressingly Off-putting Mustache”.

Once Upon A Time In Hollywood

Once Upon A Time In Hollywood harkens back to a time long, long, long ago in Hollywood's history when the majority of top actors were white, the majority of directors were old men and individual parts of women's bodies were oddly objectified and sexualized. We’ve come so far since then!

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

Please don’t ruin the fun and let Brad Pitt know that a movie was actually being filmed around him from June to November 2018.

I didn’t think the film was particularly that great but every single person I know who lives in L.A. and is either in or adjacent to the entertainment industry corrected me that it actually is.

Oh, I’m sorry – I think you’re in the wrong place. This is the once upon a time where a man is burned alive with a blowtorch. If you’re looking for the once upon a time where a man’s eyes are drilled out of his face, well then, pal, you’re gonna want to go to Mexico.

Parasite

Oh. I’m sorry. I accidentally put a Best For'n Language Film here at the end of this list of the best ‘Murican films.

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

Parasite was, by far, the best movie I read this year!

나는 기생충을 진심으로 감사 할 수 있도록 한국어를 배웠습니다.

Bong Joon-ho's Parasite might leave you asking who are the real bottom feeders in the black comedy about social structures. There's plenty of food for thought as this picture is deeper than than what it may seem like on the surface…is the word-for-word review from Rotten Tomatoes Super Reviewer Aldo G that I just read to you out loud after pulling it up on my phone here.

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comic-movieheroesranked · 7 years

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Cinematic Comic Characters Ranked! (Year 2006) Final Part

Another list makes it’s debut! 2006 six was a slow year for comics with only the debut of V for Vendetta and Superman Returns, as well as the sequel X-Men: The Last Stand. Because of this I decided to add two movies from previous years the slipped passed my radar. From 2003 we had The Hulk and from 2004 we had The Punisher! Here’s the TOP 20!

*SPOILERS AHEAD FOR ALL MOVIES HIGHLIGHTED ABOVE*

20. Joan (The Punisher)

"Good memories can save your life."

The other new neighbor in Frank's life, she tries the most out of the three to break Frank out of his shell. She tries to get him to open up by talking about her own past, mainly her reputation with horrible men. After Frank deals with one of them I think she starts developing feelings for him, but I knew that nothing was going to happen because he still was mourning the death of his entire family, including his wife. Still, she's there for him and helps him in every way she can, like a good neighbor should.

19. Finch (V for Vendetta)

"One thing is true of all governments-their most reliable records are tax records."

Finch started out on Sutler's side, the Nose of the government aka the investigators. He was in charge of finding V and bringing him down. But the more he investigated, the he started to realize that his government is corrupt. Sure, V uses him like a pawn to help bring down Creedy and Sutler but he still understands what needs to happen, which is why he lets Evey trigger the train.

18. Kitty Pride/Shadowcat (X-Men: The Last Stand)

"Who's hiding? Dickhead!"

Kitty has been a cameo in the last two films and is finally a main member on the X-Men team. A love triangle starts between her, Bobby, and Rogue early in the film, which is mainly what her character arc is about throughout the movie until the final fight. She proves herself during the fight, taking on the Juggernaut herself and saving Leech from being killed by Magneto and the Brotherhood.

17. Jimmy Olsen (Superman Returns)

"Welcome back, Mr. Clark!"

Jimmy is such a nice guy and just someone you need around because his positive and often silly attitude is just the perfect way to lift someone's mood. He helps Clark adjust to his old life again, completely unaware that he's actually Superman. I'm surprised no one put both their returns together, honestly. He's the perfect sidekick and helps Clark out a lot, whether he's in a costume or not.

16. Deitrich (V for Vendetta)

"You wear a mask for so long, you forget who you were underneath it."

A comedian that understands his government is a power-hungry dictatorship. Unlike V and his followers, Deitrich stands up to the government the only way he knows how, by mocking them on his show. However, this gets him beaten and taken away by the government and ends up executed for his 'betrayal' to Sutler and the government.

15. Charles Xavier/Professor X (X-Men: The Last Stand)

"And because the fate of many will depend on a few, we must make the last stand."

He was a father figure to many students at his school, including Jean. When she returns back to life, Xavier knows that the reason for it is because she's been possessed by the Phoenix. He tries his best to lock the Phoenix away in Jean's mind, causing doubt from Wolverine, but in the end the Phoenix is just too powerful and ends up obliterating his entire body. Xavier is able to transplant his mind into the body of his brain-dead twin brother, however, and manages to survive.

14. Jean Grey/Phoenix (X-Men: The Last Stand)

"Save Me."

Jean Grey is back from the dead and has become the Phoenix. In all honesty, the main plot should have been about the Phoenix destroying everything NOT everyone trying to protect/destroy the mutant cure. But even as a sub-plot, she showed she could be very dangerous. Right off the back she killed Cyclops and Professor X and in the final battle she kills hundreds of people and nearly destroys on entire island before Wolverine gets the real Jean to break through before she dies.

13. Richard White (Superman Returns)

"Were you in love with him?"

Richard is such a great guy. Like, SUCH a great guy, but you can tell that he just isn't the right guy. He's not to blame, of course, it's hard to compete with Superman but man did he try. He loves Lois, he raised Jason as if he was his own son, and he showed a lot of bravery flying that plane in the storm so I can see why Lois will try to work it out with him but I just don't see it being endgame with Superman back in the mix.

12. Bobby Drake/Iceman (X-Men: The Last Stand)

"We're not kids anymore."

I really liked Bobby in this movie, he ended up taking on a lot of responsibility. He's still very respectful and assuring with his relationship with Rogue, despite her doubts of him wanting to be with her. There's an obvious connection between him and Shadowcat but he doesn't pursue it at all, instead he's just there for her as a friend, which she clearly needs after Xavier dies. He also joins the X-Men team to fight off the Brotherhood, achieving his popular 'Ice Form' when he faces off against Pyro. At the end he still chooses to be with Rogue, even if he completely disagrees with her decision to take the cure.

11. Howard Saint (The Punisher)

"He's asking for help. So let's help him."

The man in charge of the biggest crime family in Florida, Howard Saint. He blames Castle for the death of his son and thinks he settles the score by killing him and his entire family. Too bad Frank doesn't stay dead. He comes back as The Punisher and slowly starts to destroy everything Howard holds sacred in the most brilliant way. Instead of doing it himself, he has Howard do most of his dirty work, letting his paranoia get the better of him as he kills Quentin and Livia, cuts ties with his other businesses, and basically drives him insane until everything he worked for goes up in flames. It isn't long after that Frank shows up and kills Howard once and for all, tying him up to the end of a car as it drives in a bunch of exploding vehicles.

10. Lois Lane (Superman Returns)

"Clark is...well...he's Clark."

I personally loved Lois Lane's journey in this movie. She was basically abandoned by Superman after falling in love with him and had to figure how to move on without him. Slight problem: she was pregnant with his kid! Still, despite all that, she really overcame her grief and climbed on top as one of the world's best reporters. Her career was flourishing and she was happy with Richard and Jason so naturally things had to get complicated with Superman's return. He brings back a lot of conflicting feelings Lois had dealt with years before and, even worse, also brings his enemies out of hiding. This puts Lois and Jason in danger, until she realizes Jason inherited Clark's powers and now has to include Superman (who she still doesn't know is Clark Kent) into her life so he could be a father to her child.

9. Ororo Munroe/Storm (X-Men: The Last Stand)

"Wherever we may go, we must carry on his vision. And that is a vision of a world united."

This is the closest we got to the Storm in this trilogy being as badass as the Storm in the comics. She shuts down any ignorant thoughts that claim mutants are a disease that need to be cured and finally has fight scenes where she proves just how badass she can be with her powers of weather manipulation. At the end of the film, after Xavier's passing, Storm now takes up leadership of the school and the X-Men team, having proven to being the most qualified to do so.

8. Valerie (V for Vendetta)

"With all my heart, I love you."

Valerie was my favorite character and I teared up hearing her story. Her whole life she fought for her right to love who she wants and when she found her partner, Sutler had to take over and ruin everything. Yet, despite losing the woman she loves, despite being taken herself and tortured to the point of death, she still finds it in herself to show her love to the inmate locked up next to her, V. He uses her note when he simulates torture on Evey, who is so touched she decides to keep the letter. Her unconditional love is what keeps both V and Evey alive and is what helps keep them fighting for justice.

7. Hank McCoy/Beast (X-Men: The Last Stand)

"Oh, my stars and garters."

Beast was the best newcomer to appear in the film. His diplomatic personalty was hilarious to see collide with Wolverine's bash and snarky one. He climbed his way up the political ladder to secure himself a position where he can fight for mutant rights, but finds himself returning back to the school once the threat of the cure and Magneto start to grow. During the final fight, the true beast comes out where he dishes out some kick ass combos against the Brotherhood and is the one who delivers the cure to Magneto, turning him human and ending the war.

6. Evey (V for Vendetta)

"But I will never forget the man and what he meant to me."

I could never understand why it took so long for Evey to join the cause. This was someone who saw her parents and her good friend get taken away for sticking up to a corrupt government, yet she still cowardly tried to save Lilliman- A CHILD RAPIST, I might add. She was frustrating to watch and as fucked up as it was for V to torture her like that, it truly did help her reach her full potential. Her rebirth scene in the rain was such a contrast to V's in the fire. While his represented hate and vengeance, hers represented truth and justice, something that was lost at the beginning of the film.

5. Clark Kent/Superman (Superman Returns)

"You will see my life through your eyes, as your life will be seen through mine. The son becomes the father and the father becomes the son."

Honestly, I get why no one thinks Clark Kent and Superman are the same person. There's sucha huge change from Clark's clumsy personality to Superman's charming one. And let's face it, the world is abundant with guys with black hair and blue eyes. Still, I'm surprised no one noticed that they both mysteriously returned at the same time. It was great seeing the Man of Steel saving the day again, and he got really creative with his powers. X-raying the debris to dust before it landed on the civilians was pretty damn clever if you ask me. I'm surprised he didn't reveal his identity to Lois after finding out he's Jason's father, maybe they were going to save it for the sequel that never happened.

4. Erik/Magneto (X-Men: The Last Stand)

"Who will you stand with-the humans? Or us?"

One of the best villains in film, Magneto returns to ignite his ongoing war with the humans. It's hard to disagree with him when literally every bad point he has against humans is proven to be true literally two scenes later. He knows a huge war is coming and only stops his momentum briefly to mourn Xavier's death before recruiting the Phoenix as his ultimate weapon. Magneto shows his incredible power by ripping off an entire bridge off the ground as well as teaming up with Pyro to rain down blazing cars on his enemies. However, his failure to recognize Wolverine as a threat ends up coming back to bite him in the ass and he ends up turning human, the thing he despises most. Although, it doesn't look like the effects of the cure will last long as Magneto is able to wobble his very metal chess piece at the end of the movie.

3. V (V for Vendetta)

"People should not fear their governments. Governments should fear their people."

The anarchist that brought down an entire dictatorship by himself. Sure, he had help along the way, but V orchestrated everything like Beethoven would with one of his masterpieces. Was he sometimes unnecessarily dramatic? Absolutely. Did he commit wrongful actions himself or set up wrongful deaths? Yes. Did he do everything with the intent on what's best for the people of London? Who knows. He had a vendetta and along the way he freed hundreds of people from a corrupt government, all while doing it in a mask that is now a symbol for revolution.

2. Frank Castle/The Punisher (The Punisher)

"Frank Castle is dead. Call me...The Punisher."

Frank Castle spent most of his adult life fighting to bring down bad men and women. Mostly undercover, he finally retires from the FBI and plans to spend the rest of his life in London with his family, but it's never that simple. We watch the man lose his entire family in a plot of revenge made by Howard Saint and his family. So with nothing to lose, Frank Castle decides to do the same. This man makes Howard kill not only his wife, but also his best friend before exacting justice for his lost family. He decides that the law isn't always justice and decides to take on murderers, rapists, and other monsters himself, giving them the punishment he think fits.

1. Logan/Wolverine (X-Men: The Last Stand)

"Then we stand together. X-Men...all of us."

Wolverine has come out on top once again! Now permanently staying at Xavier's school Wolverine tries to adjust from being solo to now being a team player. He doesn't get the luxury of time to do that when suddenly Jean is back his life, apparently now being controlled by the Phoenix. He tries his best to reach out to her, but his failure only leads to the death of Xavier. In the final battle, Wolverine finds himself leading the team against the Brotherhood, managing to finally defeat Magneto before going against the Phoenix. Despite finally getting Jean back in control, they both agree on what needs to be done. With tears, Wolverine kills her so that the threat of the Phoenix dies with her. It's the biggest growth we've seen of Wolverine in the trilogy as it's the first time he truly considers himself as part of the X-Men and becomes one of the permanent leaders of the team.

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ramajmedia · 5 years

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10 Jokes From M*A*S*H That Have Already Aged Poorly | ScreenRant

Based on the book and movie of the same name, M*A*S*H was a hit television series in the 1970s that surpassed the movie’s fame, much like Stargate SG-1 did compared to the original Stargate movie. Set during the Korean War, the show focused on the antics of the fictional 4077th Mobile Army Surgical Hospital of the United States Army stationed in South Korea.

While the show was mainly known for its comedy, it also tackled serious subjects. With that said, not all of the jokes from M*A*S*H have aged well to this day.

RELATED: FRIENDS: 10 JOKES THAT HAVE ALREADY AGED POORLY

10 “Stop it, will ya!? You ninny!”

Among the various characters that appeared in M*A*S*H, Corporal Radar was arguably one of the most relatable. Being the clerk for the 4077th MASH camp, he was often given various tasks to do by different officers whether he wanted to do them or not. Due to his wimpy nature, he often caved in under pressure and the show would occasionally make fun of this aspect to his character by giving him a teddy bear and putting him in situations that exploited his feebleness.

RELATED: 10 BEST MEDICAL DRAMAS AIRING RIGHT NOW

But this was taken to an extreme in the Season 6 M*A*S*H episode “Fallen Idol” when Captain Hawkeye outright calls Radar a ninny due to him foolishly worshipping Hawkeye like an idol. While the above quote could be interpreted as funny because of its truthfulness regarding Radar’s character, the tone makes it sound nasty.

9 Klinger’s Tendency To Wear Women’s Clothing

One of the longest ongoing jokes in M*A*S*H was Corporal Maxwell Klinger’s habit of wearing women’s clothes much to the annoyance of his superiors. The reason he did this was so he could get discharged under the rules of Section 8, which applied to officers that were considered mentally unfit for the military.

Now at a glance, this comes across as offensive from a modern perspective since it unintentionally makes fun of transgender people since they were often given a Section 8 discharge from the military. Then it doesn’t help that Klinger’s character was originally written to be effeminate, which the writers didn’t go through with but what they did isn’t much better.

8 “Anyone who needs psychiatry is sick in the head.”

Being the cliche stick-in-the-mud military officer, Major Frank Burns served as the perfect contrast to characters like Hawkeye who were wild and didn’t play by the rules. Still, that doesn’t excuse some of the things Frank says.

Take, for example, this joke from Season 3 of M*A*S*H titled “Mad Dogs and Servicemen” which Frank remarks to a GI who is suffering from mental trauma that causes him to become paralyzed both physically and mentally. As a result, this joke comes across as offensive due to our modern understanding of mental illness which was starting to be explored more thoroughly when this show originally aired.

7 Hawkeye Being A Constant Womanizer

Another ongoing joke in M*A*S*H was Hawkeye’s tendency to get 'romantic' with any women that were available. Though this was a trait of his carried over from the original M*A*S*H movie, where he was played by Donald Sutherland instead of Alan Alda, that doesn’t make his constant flirting any less annoying or cringe-worthy from a modern perspective.

While it might have been seen as charming back when the show first aired and even funny in combination with Hawkeye’s usual witty remarks, it gets overused so many times throughout each episode. He even goes so far as to flirting with the same woman over and over again in the same episode, whether it’s an established character or a nobody with a pretty face.

6 “When did this line start using stewardesses?”

Though the 1970s brought about Second Wave Feminism, which pushed for more equality through protests than the First Wave, the entertainment industry still had a ways to catch up. For instance, while M*A*S*H did have female military officers such as Major Margaret Houlihan who mattered as characters and not just eye-candy that didn’t stop them from being the target of casual sexism from the men.

RELATED: 10 EPISODES THAT AGED BADLY FROM SEX AND THE CITY

One such example happened in the eighth season episode “War Co-Respondent” where a female war correspondent named Aggie O’Shea arrives at the 4077th MASH camp and gets greeted with this joking remark by a male officer.

5 Hawkeye And Trapper Pulling Cruel Pranks On Margaret

When Hawkeye wasn’t busy flirting with women, he and his buddy Captain Trapper would pull various pranks around the 4077th MASH camp. The two people they tended to prank on the most were Frank and Margaret. But while Frank had mostly harmless pranks done to him, like having his arm wrapped in a cast with a hook, the ones done to Margaret were arguably more cruel by comparison.

RELATED: THE OFFICE: 10 OF JIM'S MOST ICONIC PRANKS ON DWIGHT

For instance, in the Season 1 episode “Major Fred C. Dobbs” Frank requests a transfer from the 4077th MASH camp and has a private heartfelt conversation with Margaret about it. While this is going on, Hawkeye and Trapper put a microphone in the tent causing Frank and Margaret’s conversation to get broadcast to the whole camp.

4 “Shoveling a little manure for my ‘Tokyo Rose’”

Much like Frank, Major Charles Winchester III was another straight man who served to foil Hawkeye. His main character-arc, though, was resenting his superior officer who transferred Winchester to the 4077th MASH camp after Winchester beat him at a game of Cribbage.

Then in the Season 9 episode “No Laughing Matter,” Winchester meets that superior officer again and tries to win him over as a means to get back his previous position in Tokyo. Hence, Winchester says the above line which is meant to be funny as it is a pun on the Tokyo Rose propaganda broadcasting personality from World War II. But it isn’t funny now due to the controversy surrounding this persona, which involved a Japanese woman born in America who was wrongfully accused of being the ‘real’ Tokyo Rose and convicted of treason according to the FBI’s website (though she was pardoned later).

3 Frank’s Infidelity

Every now and then, the M*A*S*H series would draw attention to the fact that many of its characters had loved ones waiting for them back home in the United States. One that got brought up the most frequently was Frank’s wife, due to his not-so-subtle affair with Margaret who was never consistent about whether she cared Frank was married or not.

This, in turn, was framed by the show as being funny, since Frank and Margaret pride themselves on being more dignified than the officers below their rank yet the fact that they commit infidelity made them seem like hypocrites. But it isn’t by today’s standards, since Frank comes across as an unfaithful jerk.

2 “Korean women aren’t known for hairy knuckles.”

Despite the show’s reputation for being surprisingly dark despite its comedic elements, and underlying critique of the Vietnam War like the film that inspired it, M*A*S*H is sadly a product of its time. For instance, there weren’t many POC characters present. Then there weren’t many Korean characters, despite the show being set in Korea, and the show’s depiction of them was questionable.

For instance in the Season 4 episode “Dear Peggy,” which was part of a series of episodes where a character would be writing a letter to a loved one and recalling events that are portrayed in the episode proper, Klinger tries escaping the MASH camp by dressing up as a Korean but gets caught by the commanding officer Colonel Potter who says the above line. It’s meant to be funny in relation to Klinger’s poor disguise, but it comes across now as subtly racist.

1 Margaret Being Harassed And/Or Assaulted

Because Margaret was the only significant female character in M*A*S*H, she was often flirted by the men in the camp regardless if they were established characters or guest ones.

Sometimes, this flirting would escalate into harassment or straight-up assault as was the case in the Season 2 episode “Operation Noselift” where Margaret gets assaulted by a plastic surgeon named Major Stanley “Stosh” Robbins who takes a fetish-like interest in her mouth thinking she’s the “Barracuda” nurse Hawkeye mentions early in the episode. Though it’s meant to play for laughs due to the misunderstanding aspect of the situation, it isn’t funny nowadays due to our modern sensibility about harassment.

NEXT: 10 QUOTES FROM M*A*S*H THAT ARE STILL HILARIOUS TODAY

source https://screenrant.com/jokes-mash-already-aged-poorly/

#screenrant

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ramajmedia · 5 years

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10 Jokes From M*A*S*H That Have Already Aged Poorly | ScreenRant

While the show was mainly known for its comedy, it also tackled serious subjects. With that said, not all of the jokes from M*A*S*H have aged well to this day.

RELATED: FRIENDS: 10 JOKES THAT HAVE ALREADY AGED POORLY

10 “Stop it, will ya!? You ninny!”

RELATED: 10 BEST MEDICAL DRAMAS AIRING RIGHT NOW

9 Klinger’s Tendency To Wear Women’s Clothing

8 “Anyone who needs psychiatry is sick in the head.”

7 Hawkeye Being A Constant Womanizer

6 “When did this line start using stewardesses?”

RELATED: 10 EPISODES THAT AGED BADLY FROM SEX AND THE CITY

5 Hawkeye And Trapper Pulling Cruel Pranks On Margaret

RELATED: THE OFFICE: 10 OF JIM'S MOST ICONIC PRANKS ON DWIGHT

4 “Shoveling a little manure for my ‘Tokyo Rose’”

3 Frank’s Infidelity

2 “Korean women aren’t known for hairy knuckles.”

1 Margaret Being Harassed And/Or Assaulted

Because Margaret was the only significant female character in M*A*S*H, she was often flirted by the men in the camp regardless if they were established characters or guest ones.

NEXT: 10 QUOTES FROM M*A*S*H THAT ARE STILL HILARIOUS TODAY

source https://screenrant.com/jokes-mash-already-aged-poorly/

#screenrant

0 notes