#but everyone around me keeps saying im not doing enough

[canmargesimpson]

Spring Cleaning

I believe that Steve's mom was a bit of a control freak. I mean, she went on business trips with her own husband to make sure she wasn't cheating on him. so she clearly likes to have her own rules in her house. 

i mean she went on a trip with her husband to make sure he didn't do anything sus. So I feel like she would also be this clean freak, every spring, she would tell Steve to clean his entire bedroom and get rid of the things she didn't need. After a while, this became a bit of a habit for Steve, so, when spring arrived and the sun started shining once again, he would clean his entire room and re-organize everything.

Later, when he is about to move in with Eddie, he realizes his room is a complete disaster. So he went full on mom mode. He summoned the entire party, put on an apron that said “Mom’s kitchen!” and bought a bunch of cleaning products (most of them he knew for cleaning after a party). At first Eddie thought Steve was messing with him, but when he showed up with the kids and the offer for them to clean his room, he was left with no choice but to say yes. And so they got to work.

First they took off all of the posters, in which Eddie was very whiny about, saying that if they broke them or even wrinkle them, he was going to sue. Then went to the closet, in which Steve, Robin and Nancy took care of. Lucas took the records and boxes of music outside to organize them next to Max, who was just sunbathing. Will, Dustin and Erica took care of the books that were everywhere. Like… Everywhere. 

“Why would you leave a book in the oven?” Dustin exclaimed as he took the collection of Sunglasses After Dark books

“Cuz i had no place to leave them” he shrugged as he turned around and kept trying to keep calm at everyone touching his stuff

Mike and Eleven were in charge of collecting the plates, empty beer cans, and food which were laying around. Finally, Argyle and Jonathan were in charge of organizing what was for donations, trash, and to keep. BUT, Argyle was lucky enough to find some edibles and weed treats and they both ended up high as hell on the couch watching looney toons. They weren’t much help at the end of the day, but at least they didn’t stand in everyone’s way. After organizing the clothes from the category, they sat and tried to see which ones were appropriate to keep, which were clean, and which were… actually clothes.

“Oh I missed this shirt!” Eddie took it from robin and raised it to see the cover of a weird ass band album cover.

“Mama’s boy? Really?” steve raised a eyebrow at his boyfriend

“Hell yeah! in 1985, they opened for Joan Jett and The Blackhearts, it was a hell of a night. I got the cassette too! Hold on” he ran outside to find lucas and max laughing

“Red, Lucas, Mama’s Boy, Power and Passion” 

“Let me- god where did I leave the M…”

“Third box, right after Malice” Max said nonchalantly, leaving both boys astounded and she just smiles “just because im blind doesn't mean i can’t see anything” 

Lucas took the cassette and handed it to eddie who was quickly inside and went to the trailer and placed the cassette in the player and connected it with the speakers, and pressed play, and the music started ( lol this is the link of the album, since its not in spotify, it should tho, their music is great tho)

“Wait…” Robin called as everyone turned to her “Why do you have like… four of their shirts?”

“Well…” eddie bit his lip and looked away trying to come up with an excuse… but at this point, he had no option but to tell the truth “I MAY have… slept with the drummer, and i might have stolen them”

“You what now?” steve smiled a little confused

“It was like, 3 years ago Stevie, don’t worry, he probably doesn't remember.” he reassured

“You slept with a drummer from a famous band?”

“Well i have fucked more famoust people, Tommy McManus is a particle compered to what i have gone through” he shows off but when he turns to his boyfriend with an un amused face

“Who then?

Eddie started laughing nervously, looking around for help, but robin and nancy were trying not to laugh while Dustin and Erica were clearly enjoying this.

“Joey Tempest… from Europe…”

“You fucked a Eurpoean?”

“ i mean, he is from sweden, and his in the band called Europe, but yeah”

“Do they sing a song we may know?”

Eddie’s cheek turned bright red as Steve looked at him with such an intimidating stare, it was too pretty for Eddie to say no to.

“You know… It the final countdown, tanana, tananana, tanana, tanananananana aaa” eddie sang in a low voice, pretty embarrassed of the situation he’s in

“Oh my god” Steve rolled his eyes and groaned

“You slept with carol perkins while she was dating tommy!” 

“Don’t you dare play the carol card on me right now!”

After a long discussion over each other's sex lives, they got back to cleaning and organizing, till the sun was setting.  They all ended up on the couch, in front of the tv, discussing which movie to watch. Their options were Howard the Duck, Mary Poppins, and Lawrence of Arabia, in which they chose Mary poppins. Steve ordered a pizza for everyone, and when Wayne came back, he could help but to join the kids watching the childish movie. They eat everylast pizza piece, and they all fall asleep on the couch munched together, and it was too cute not to take a picture, so wayne grabbed Eddie’s polaroid, snapped them a picture, which ended up the first frame that was hanged in the Munson - Harrington flat.

#by: me #eddie munson #steddie #steve harrington #stranger things #ronance #steddie fic

[internetscenarios]

YESS cc!reader x tgc would go hard please do it NO pressure tho!! 💕

ok i had an idea for isaac,, IM SORRY I ONLY DO HIM OR YUMI i promise i will do the others soon

drunk driving ♡︎

it was a normal day for you, wake up, get food, do a stream if you had the energy.

today was a different day, your boyfriend isaac was hanging out at your house as the two of you wanted to get some stuff done.

it was a nice day together, you both went grocery shopping and had a cute little date in a cafe

tonight you had a stream planned, your viewers knew you were close friends with the group, but never knew why you ended up becoming friends

isaac had introduced you to them and you all grew close since then

“babe? i’m just about to start a stream, i think im meant to be drinking.”

you laugh softly, searching for him as he wandered around the kitchen, soon enough finding him.

“you should let me be in it.”

“what about your face being in it?”

“i can put my mask and glasses on.”

your mind hesitates, pouting slightly as you think whether you would want him causing chaos on your relaxed streams.

although both of you had been together for a while now, neither of you told your viewers. it would be a nice introduction stream, and also suprise everyone.

“okay fine. but you can’t be screaming into my microphone, my streams are more relaxed than yours.”

he rolls his eyes, yet nods and smiles as he looks down at you.

(🤤🤤)

soon enough the stream was starting, isaac was still downstairs cleaning up as you welcomed everybody and let people join.

you were playing american truck simulator with yumi, tanner, and soon to be isaac. but you didn’t mention that and would let isaac come in whenever to surprise your viewers a little.

once you joined the vc, you were suddenly met with yumi angry about how he couldn’t exit a parking lot, and tanner laughing.

“y/n, is mr 6’2 joining us?”

“he should be, hes just cleaning downstairs.”

“malewife!!”

you giggle, reading your chat as you opened up the game. the call was deafened so you could answer questions from your viewers.

mr 6’2???

is shaquille o’neal in ur house??

WHO IS 6’2 THEY ARE TALL

as you giggle, leaving your viewer’s confused and looking for answers you start up the game.

“so i have to take a drink everytime i crash??”

yes

YES

drunk y/n time oh no

you laugh, when suddenly a notification of a donation comes through

isaacwhy donated 20$: “ill be up in a minute, u look good tonight :)”

the donation reads out, which leads you to rub your forehead in annoyance but amusement

“isaac you can just text me!”

this leads your chat practically screaming at you.

ISAACWHY???

WHY IS ISAAC HERE

HE IS MR 6’2 WHATTTT

you rolls eyes, undeafening in discord and getting onto the game.

within the span of 5 minutes isaac wasn’t up, but you were focused on driving and desperately trying not too crash; in which you failed and had already had 4 sips of your drink already.

suddenly, you feel a strong bicep go around your neck playfully. it was isaac, he wasn’t actually hurting you, just faking it for the stream

“chat i will literally kill her.”

he say’s playfully, with you playing along and saying some muttered “noo” and “helpp!”

Y/N NO

POUR YOUR DRINK ON HIM

RUN

he laughs, letting go of you as he stands beside you, only his body in view

(😫😫)

height difference check when??

“let me move my chair, out height difference isn’t that bad.”

you move your chair, standing next to isaac. your full body and face was in the the camera view, while isaac practically towered over you.

you laughed, getting back in your chair, as isaac crouched down next to you with his mask and glasses on.

soon enough, you had crashed about 50 times and isaac was your servant on getting you another drink.

“do you need another drink?”

“yessss”

“too bad you’re not getting it.”

“babee..”

your drunken self not realising that petname had slipped out, you both tried to keep the relationship lowkey throughout the stream.

but your intoxicated brain had slipped up, causing the chat to go wild.

babe??

EXCUSE ME

bro called him babe

y/n and isaac marriage when??

you laugh, reading your chat with your head spinning.

“when are we getting married?”

“i thought i was already your malewife?”

a few giggles come out from you, hearing tanner screaming down his mic that him and isaac were already married.

soon the stream ends, and you flop your head on your desk.

“come on babe, you can’t fall asleep there.”

no response.

he sighs, lifting you up with ease from you chair and throwing you over his shoulder, which might’ve been a bit heavy on your head from dangling upside down.

within minutes you were placed in your bed, changed into more comfortable clothing and fast asleep.

ok lowkey i do not like this at allARGHH someone tell me if its good or not 😢

bit of fluffy isaac at the end thooo

#the group chat #the group x reader #isaacwhy #tgc x reader #isaacwhy x reader #isaacwhy x you #the groupchat x reader #the group

[themagnificentmx]

sigh . i wish being a better person came naturally to me

#my mom was talking to me abt how im gonna move out soon #and how i dont think abt other people on my own/am instinctively v self-centered #she's not wrong either #like . yes i realize that im naturally kind of a dick and i've been trying to work on it #i really wish it came naturally to me though #just . i have to be super conscious of what seems to come so easily for everyone else ?? #it sucks bc it's def affected how i make/break relationships #i wish i was easier to be around #its not like im not Trying #but everyone around me keeps saying im not doing enough #i literally do not know how to start being a better person #i have been making it up as i go #i promise im trying so hard :/ #i feel like it doesn't get acknowledged #which it shouldnt!! bc it's the bare fucking minimum #but . i want the effort i put in to at least get noticed yk #D.vents #tang rant

[opens-up-4-nobody]

The way that the sun hits leaves and clouds. I feel like I could watch the colors change forever. If I could slow down for that long.

#i keep forgetting a have a deck now. i can go outside and sit there #im doing that now. sitting in the corner of a deck full of empty chairs. staring up at a big pine tree where the sun is striking it gold #at the top. i like how thr light hits the needles. if the sky was black it would look like its on fire #theres a tree outside my bedroom window too. in the morning. after the sunrises it catches thr light and refelcts the most perfect shade #of green. the kind of green that flutters translucent like youre looking up from the bottom of a pool. the light the light its all about #the sun. everything everything is about the sun. when i start my project I'll be focused on understanding how organisms catch the light bc #its so incredible and complicated it would make my chest swell to bursting if there wasnt an empty bleeding wound in my gut. a #metaphorical wound of course. i dunno. its just difficult bc right now my mood is inflated by hormones. not even that much i think I'm #just at what shoulf be a normal level of happiness so i can be slow for a minute. but just a minute bc i kno it won't last long #sorry i cant shut the fuck up when im like this but i dunno i just feel like i havr to document these ephemeral moments before they're gone #its just difficult when you kno the world is so full of beautiful things but 95% of the time your eyes are too clouded to see it #everyone tells me i work too much but i feel like im just staring off into space being miserable 60% of the time. ive just done so much #damage over the past few years im coming into a new lab as damaged goods. ive got an albatross around my neck in thr form of data i #collected so self destructively that the idea of having anything to do with its publication makes me hate myself. everytime someone tells #me good job on collecting so so so much data it feels like they're congratulating me for breaking something within myself. like i slit my #wrists and bled out on a lab bench and theyre saying good job and theyre excited for me and i have to grin and bear it and pretend im #excited too. but im not bc ive burned everything inside me to ash. so when im elevated enough to be distracted by the clouds and trees it #feels like healing. like seeing angels. beautiful ephemeral beams of light. i wish i could slow down enough to watch them. but now thr sun #is hitting the horizon and the sky is going gradually dark and i should go inside. bc i have many things to do in the morning. so that's #what ill do. and ill try to get more thsn 6hrs of sleep but its hard when your body is vibrating over with energy #but at least i dont feel tired in the morning. something in my head must be on fire #unrelated #hm i should maybe add a tw to this #tw self injury #but its the kind thst makes u good at ur Job. its the kind ppl reward. so they don't understand when u say its destroying ur life #but im trying to get better. i say as i gear up for an insane semester lol but i do mean it

[every-sanji]

Woah this little project has been going on for 3 years now! A little crazy that I've managed to keep this thing running but I am nothing if not committed to the bit. Thank you to everyone who has been here since day one and everyone who has followed along more recently in this journey to post every single Sanji! Here's to three more years 🥂

#not sanji #this isnt housekeeping either but ill tag it with that #im scheduling this out on the 11th ive just finished queuing ch333 #but ueueue i started this blog as a freshman in college and i graduate in may #ive changed hyperfixations half a dozen times and i stopped keeping up with #the weekly releases for one piece in like august 2020 #wano was just getting too convoluted for me #but one piece was what i hyperfixated on at the start of the first lockdown #so it will always have a special place in my heart #also hopefully by the time this posts ill have my new car #and this blog will have been with me through 4 phones (technically) and 2 cars #and 3 different dorms/apartments #i dont know what im doing post graduation tbh i just applied for a job as a #patient representative at a clinic in my home town which will get me on my feet in the #professional world but i could do just about anything #everyone wants an anthropologist but nobody wants to admit it #im also bilingual which is also a useful skill. but if anyone says they know what theyre doing #especially when theyre my age (22) they are lying #we're all kinda groping around blindly hoping to find something that sticks #anyway ive rambled enough! dkshsjkssj if you read all this.... thank you? #idk this blog means a lot to me ive been keeping it up through a lot of rough patches #its like. one of the constants in my life idk. #anyway. i need to do dishes and make lunch byeeeeeee #i never tagged this with housekeeping. #housekeeping

[andichoseyou]

i wish i could put into words the way i feel right now. i feel like i'm doing everything i can to do the right thing. the right thing for ME. but with every decision i make, i feel extreme guilt and second guess myself like crazy. like i dont KNOW what im doing idk if any of the decisions i am making are actually good for me. i am constantly in this state of isolation and loneliness, but when there's a chance for a potential romantic relationship i back away and ignore the possibilities of what could come from it. i don't want to be in love but i crave intimacy. i don't want to hook up and leave, but i want someone to hold me.

#like i met this guy at a bar #and he was friendly enough #i guess #and i was really drunk and had just enough confidence to flirt back and let him put his arm around me and buy me drinks #and i gave him my number then immediately regretted it #and now hes texting me and wants to hang out and i just dont want to #but everyone around me is like 'well why dont you just give him a chance' #my side said 'youre always saying you want to meet someone in person not on tinder so why dont you want to go out w him?' #and its like I DONT KNOW #i cant drive and i dont want to get picked up by him and be stuck w him #what if i want to leave??? i cant!!! its up to him to take me home #i want to date and i want to have more experience but i just dont know if i can do that right now #and i hate it because everyone around me seems to be so into dating and hooking up and being in love #why cant i just. be like them. #idk i feel bad but i cant text the guy from the bar back #i just don't want to ! but i feel guilty about it #i keep thinking #'what if hes the one for me?' #you know #what if im messing up something that could be potentially great for me #idk #my thoughts

[savage-rhi]

I'm very much a, "fuck yeah and fuck you, I don't need validation! I'm me, cunts!" kinda fella, but sometimes I could use support.

#today i fucked up by reactivating my fb account which i haven't done in 2 yrs just to check on some folks id been sending good thought to #place is depressing everyone is miserable and everything feels fake and my mind is like #LOL this is why we left bitch byeeee #so i deactivated again went to work and idc what anyone says there are folks like me that can and do feel the energy and emotions coming of #people and it can fucking suck especially when so many are disregulated so i got a sensory overload and boss was nice enough to let me take #a bunch of breaks today and even scream in her office cause She Gets It (TM) #the weather is rainy and cold i'm getting so many fibro flares idk how i'm moving anymore #ive missed so many days of work already and it's not even fully winter yet i still have my job and im thankful i have an understanding team #but that doesnt pay the bills im still trying to find a way to pay for that doctor appointment coming up #graduate courses began for college and i think i'm gonna be okay but damn did they throw too much info all at once at me and that made #my adhd brain go WELL SHIT #ive been feeling incredibly lonely and not wanted in so many spaces that im struggling to even communicate with the few that i know do #love me for me and nothing else im trying so so so hard to keep being there for people and to keep loving #people that need it cause i don't ever want another human being to ever feel as miserable and unwanted as i have felt #but im also tired because i feel like thats all anyone ever sees me as just this being that can take their woes away and make them feel #amazing and i love that i can do that and listen to so many traumatic stories and help folks process that trauma my boss and many throughou #life have told me i have a gift for healing people and a vibe to me thats different than most and it feels good being around me but today i #just felt like people keep taking and taking and taking and i dont expect anything back thats not who i am id rather give than receive #but damn it i just wish someone could just give me the biggest hug in the world dont even have to say a thing just hold me and be present #and hold space for me to just feel weightless id cherish that more than anything in the world right now #on a positive note... #my dinosaur vo stuff got traction im getting a new cosplay put together i havent done that in 4 years i got to pet a wild deer i made #a coworker laugh so hard his juice went out his nose and my boss peed a little #im slowly taming another wild flock of turkeys and i got a bag of my favorite takis the guacamole flavor #i got a lot to be thankful for and i acknowledge it #but damn it im tired #thank you for coming to my Ted Talk rant and rave #if you made it this far: you're an incredible human being and i love you #please go treat yo self to something nice and know i love you for you

[autisticlee]

it always pisses me off when people start ghosting me and completely cut me off and think i'm annoying because I didn't ~get the hint~ all because they're too much of a coward to be straightforward and honest with me!!!!

i'll keep asking about a thing or when we are hanging out or try to converse with them, because their response is always excuses and not straight up "no" so how am I supposed to know?! either short responses of 1-5 words that I can't really respond to or things like "I'm busy this weekend/I'm too tired today/I forgot about it/we can try next time/I'll get back to you and le you know" are apparently all hints and lies to hide the truth. what they really mean when they tell me this is "no, stop asking. stop talking to me. I do not want to hang out with you or talk to you anymore"

why can't you just say that?! it will save you the annoyance of me asking you 20 times because i took your words at face value. your excuses sound temporary and you didn't get back to me so maybe you forgot. there are rare times people say these things and it's the truth or they really did forget!!!! when I say it, it's the truth. I also have a bad memory. you can't just suddenly ghost me for that! it's on you if you aren't being honest with me. it's up to you to be straightforward and tell the truth so you don't waste both our time. (what's worse is this is usually one of the first things I tell people when we meet. that I need then to be straightforward and honest. they promise they will but that's also a lie)

ghosting is so cruel (when the other person has no bad intentions/isnt causing harm). more cruel than telling me to my face you hate me and never want to speak again! i actually prefer that, so i at least know and can give up on your useless ass and stop wasting my time. don't give me false hope when i'm really excited to be friends and hang out, don't waste my time and energy and efforts, and don't lead me on with lies only to crush my entire soul when I find the truth much later. just say it and get it over with!!!! it's your fault if I annoy you by "not taking the hint" because there was no hint, lying isn't a hint. spill the truth and don't blame me for it!!!!!!

this is why i've given up with people and now only give attention to the ones who contact me first every time continuously, and I put little effort into anything anymore. I know that will end up making some people give up on me by thinking i dont care. but I'm tired of wasting my time and energy on the people who put no effort into me. you must prove yourself and keep doing it or I won't try at all. the people who ghost me and hurt me are to blame. yes, I live a very lonely existence with maybe one friend I talk to once every week or two for a total of 5 minutes at most. yes I wish I had more connections or closer ones. but i'm SO FUCKING TIRED. i'm tired of trying so much and so hard just for people to shit on my efforts and disrespect my needs and boundaries!!!!!!

why should I keep trying when it always ends bad and adds yet another layer to my trauma.

#it happens every time!!!!!!!! i dont havw the spoons amd energy to keep giving these people every piece of me. theres nothing left!!!!! #people always tell me keep trying dont give up dont cut yourself off from everyone etc #but everyone cuts ME off so wtf am i supposed to do????? keep wasting energy and brain power just to let them keep doing it?! #its like if you spend a year carefully crafting a custom blanket for someone. putting in all your love and time and energy. give it to them #AND THEY SER IT ON FIRE AND WALK AWAY. NOT EVEN ACKNOWLEDGING HOW HARD YOU WORKED OR ANYTHING #that's what its like every time i try with people. it's a waste and i never get anything good out of it 😭 #so why would it be wrong to protect myself by taking the part of the cold and unresponsive one for once? act like them instead? #no try or give someone much attention until they do like i always did and put in a ton of effort and keep it going? #if someone tries as hard as i always did then they must be good and worthy of keeping around and putting some effort into myself right? #ugh idk. i hate all of this and humans arent good at being good friends and im tired of trying to be one too #perhaps me not trying will make people think i dont care about them so they give up still anyway. well oh well #that means they didnt try gard enough and would have given up anyway. if i dont get attached or care much first then it hurts less #i know everyone tries to make me feel better by saying stuff like the right ones exist and my people are out there or whatever #but i will not believe it until i see it. because it's possible that is not true. it's possible i'll never have real/close friends #what then????? what do i do about that?? people love telling me i'll find the right people but no one steps up to try being that one #this all sounds doom and gloom but I'm just venting. in reality i just give it 3 tries. #if a person makes excuses or doesnt respond or doesnt carry the conversation 3 times on a row i will give up and it's their move. #if they dont come forward at all then we are done and i will never reach out to or speak to them again. if they want me they can prove it #lee rambles #autistic #autism #actually autistic #autism things #autistic friendship #friendship problems #loneliness #communication #cptsd #rsd #the fun thing about the cptsd and rsd combo is when people do these things i get hit with a wave if every past experience and relive it 🙃

[hyperspacial]

King of being bullied more as an adult than as a closeted autistic child 💪

#i honestly wish i could go back because at least then i didnt realize i was being bullied #now i have to fucking. keep notes for HR. #now im still not sure if im being bullied but im pretty sure somethings off and literally everyone is saying yeah #this happens in every adult job and organization ive taken on. i do a good job #the people in charge see that im doing a good job. they move me up to work with a powerful/demanding woman in the organization #and then she proceeds to wreck me psychologically until i hit my breaking point and have to leave #LIKE CLOCKWORK #i think successful women can just smell the autism on me and know they can push me around #and my mommy issues be like 💖 its okay if i work hard enough i can make her like me 💖 #just... jesus fucking christ #i literally HAVE to stay in this job until at least December but god does she make it so hard. #she sent me a document to revise and send for signature at 12:04am this morning and then got pissed at 8:34am when i didnt have it sent out #like bestie youre the one requiring me to commute 40 minutes to the office so i can physically be present to bark orders at #im just. it feels like theres no future where i dont get absolutely trashed at my job. i try to work in corporate and they tear me apart. #its not even just corporate its high school robotics and college extracurriculars and 5/7 adult jobs ive held like fuck. #i wish i was a convenience store woman so bad

[stinkrascal]

redditors will read a post where someone does something vaguely mean and immediately the comments are filled with armchair psychiatrists diagnosing everyone with borderline personality disorder because apparently the only symptom of bpd is when you’re mean to others

#i hate reddit so much sometimes #i honestly didnt even realize people had this many negative connotations surrounding people with bpd until i joined reddit #now i hate admitting i have bpd bc everyone immediately assumes im evil and i simply want to hurt everyone around me like thanks guys :) #mental health awareness rocks :) #if u think bpd = Mean Disease you are wholly unaware of what it means to have bpd #and then these people get so defensive whenever i try to say that actually sometimes my bpd can be a good thing #because yes my emotions are REALLY intense but it works both ways you know. i feel love and happiness and joy so intensely #when im in a good mood im the most supportive person u will ever meet #and these decrepit self-hating crones come at me like NOOOOOO YOU'RE ACTUALLY INCAPABLE OF BEING KIND AND CONSIDERATE TOWARDS OTHERS #YOUR BPD PREVENTS YOU FROM BEING A KIND PERSON! YOU'RE ALWAYS ON THE VERGE OF HURTING PEOPLE! #full offense but choke <3 #also they act like ppl with bpd are incapable of learning coping mechanisms too lmfao #like yes when im in a bad mood its VERY bad but im also grown enough to keep myself away from people when i get to that point #i know how to pull myself away from situations where i feel like i'll split? a LOT of people with bpd know how to do this??? like what #why do they have to assume that literally every person with bpd is unstable and constantly lashing out at others when that just isn't true #if i could i would fight every redditor with my big fucking fists

[pizzapizzadickz]

.

#diary #personal #i was gonna journal but im far too tired now and i cant. #so instea imma ramble here. #anyways. i was thinking lately how as i got earlier i sorta would just. cut off parts of myself. #like. id observe everyone around me. figure out what was socially acceptable. and remove what wasnt. #sometimes... people would say little things. and i work very very hard to to fix that about myself. #like. if i dont understand humor. i worked REALLY hard so i could. and so i could figure out how to joke and talk with others. #and god. anytime i make friends i try REALLY FUCKING HARD to make sure i like. do their activities that theh like. #i just sorta hope that i can have friends that way. if they like cars well now i do. if they like computers now i do. etc. #and like. i used to try hard to keep up with pop culture shit so i could feel included. cuz otherwise id be left out. #honeslty all of elemetry school i remember trying so hard to fit in and it really made me feel like i lost myself in it all. #i remember in high school a lot of this came to a head and i sorta just. felt lost a lot. #i like. feel a lot better now. i dont do things i dont wanna. i dont try so hard to blend in. but its still really hard sometimes. #i remember. i used to always have to ask what people mean. what a joke was about. i felt excluded from things a lot. #i sorta. gave up on friends in like. grade 7-8ish. i was also sorta depressed. so id just. watch people #and in the winter. id sometimes walk around in little circles and make patterns in the snow. recess wasnt long enough tho #i remember in grade 3 when i sorta became the token loner id just. walk around aimlessly at school. #it was sad being excluded but i really learned to enjoy it to. to really feel the wind. to listen to the sounds. to feel present #i love the swings. still do. might be why i rock so much now? ive always just loved throwing my body around violently. #it honestly makes me really sad now bc it hurts now. i cant move in ways that are fun anymore. #i can rock tho. and i do a lot. yknow i saw a girl(?) on the bus the other day rocking #it was so... strange to see it from the outside. i wonder if thats what i look like now that i think about it. #it was distressing tho bc they seemed upset. bc thats how i rock when upset. just. very regimented. #theyd stop abruptly. then continue. i could really only see myself in that. i wanted to ask if they were okay but... #i felt that it could potentially cause more stress. besides. idk if theyre autistic or whatnot. it could be invasive. i hope they were okay #mn. i sorta wish i had never just. cut away at myself. removing what i deemed garbage. #im... so much different from the way i portay myself sometimes. #i love looking at things. just. staring at stuff. watching people. and. when im with others i remove that. #when i work i have to remove the fun from things. and that sucks.

[ii-zi]

I'm not in the most collected state of mind due how things are going rn but just a heads up

Due to unforeseen circumstances, and to my own misfortune, i wasn't able to get my baby cremated (not bc of a lack of support from yall but bc of home issues lol)

I'm busy rn and spacing out a lot bc I'm not coping well with how much shit I'm currently going thru lol but pls know all the kind words were immensely appreciated (and those who supported the cremation pls hmu so i remember to return the money when I come back online)

#im literally getting scolded so so so much and it's adding so much weight on top of it all #i lost one of the most precious people i had. few days later i lost my baby. mental & physical health steadily declining #the house is a mess. everything everyone says to me are complains about how much they hate being around me #and to top it all of i haven't been successful teaching the kittens how to use the litter box l #sushi keeps eating the litter 😭 #they're all resenting quesito's death a lot and need far more attention that i can give rn and it wears me out so much #so they go to the others for attention and only get rejected and it breaks my heart. so i can't help but give them more than i can #afford to lol im tired 24/7 n can barely do shit jdkfngsk but still getting scolded over it all ofc 👍 #my mom saw one of my drawings (i love drawing furniture lmao) and asked if it was mine in a v particular tone and idk what to #think abt it lol #on other news the fear of never getting a diagnosis is paralyzing 👍 #also im legitimately being gaslighted right on my face everyone keeps telling me how im misremembering everything and #making shit up and stuff and i know my brain's not working well but i still have enough function to trust it. i know im not crazy even if #they're so hell-bent in making me thing so.. #oh that's another issue too the paranoia has been going stronger than ever and it's wearing me out even more lol i really can't #give myself a break lol

[mrfoox]

Still blows my mind that I have such caring and amazing friends and idk why they stick around me...

#miranda talking shit #Im not trying to be a downer on myself but like.... Roo is literlly becoming an doctor. Giulio is an dentist surgeon. Linnea is a nurse #Meanwhile i just became stable enough to handle a part time job at 25... #I know idc about ambition in that way but i know so many people who are and im like... Lol why do you like me? #Few reasons i can think of people liking me is that im ... Kind/caring. .. Maybe a good listener... I cant say im always understanding but #I can say i do try to be. I try my best to understand even if i cant relate. Also been told i can be funny #I always feel like that weird friend of fairly normal people. I always wonder why they keep me around #To me everyone i love is so so special. But i dont think majority 9f people think that way #Another maybe good trait i have is that im honest. I hate being mean and hurting people's feelings but if someone genuinely asks for my #Opinion and i hate the thing they want me to give my thoughts on ... I will apologize and say im not a fan

[inkskinned]

there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

#this is objectively bad advice #don't listen to it protect yourself and do real work on yourself find one of the good posts i've made about this #but also. u know. if u want to have fun while u do the work of setting boundaries #.... it IS fun #i will say that my fear of him went SO down after i just started. fucking with him. #bc i used to get SO fucking upset #i'd spend WEEKS arguing with him. tearing my hair out. sick with anxiety and dread and anger about all of it #and now i just LITERALLY do not engage #instead i'm like '' haha :) mole people" and get the HELL out of any tense conversation #i kind of think some of these people are literally addicted to drama as a form of connection #they like the rush they get from arguing #but those arguments are incredibly damaging for me #so like..... i am in the process of literally rehabilitating this person to figure out how to find connection thru #NORMAL CONVERSATION #he doesn't get it yet #i also do talk to them like they're preschool kids lmafo . ''are you using a safe and kind voice right now?'' #'' do you need a snackie? you sound a little upset. let's have some hummus and come back to playtime when we feel ready''

[chaepink]

can u make headcannons on sub!yan’s tendencies in the relationship?

also can i be 🉑 or 🌝 anon?

dating sub!yandere boys hcs ♡

sub!yandere boys when they date you.

wc: 1.1k+ words | masterlist

dom!fem!reader, unhealthy relationship, mention of killing/murder, both sfw and nsfw!, mention of feminization, bondage

note: yes you can be 🌝 anon!

— your yandere would be possessive of you, even more compared to when you two were just friends

— well, you thought you two were just friends. he already assumed you two were together sometime earlier during his friendship with you

— he would do anything for you in order to make sure you're happy and safe

— a friend of yours is getting too touchy with you? well the next day that friend is ignoring you and when you confront them, they look at you scared and quickly scurry away from you. did your yandere do something to them? surely not

— a weird guy keeps following you around your neighborhood? well a couple of days later you see on the news that his body has been found near a river and weirdly enough, you havent seen your yandere on the days before the guy's death

— you complain to your yandere about how a teacher gave you a bad grade on something you worked so hard on? suddenly your grade changes to a A and that same exact teacher suddenly resigns from the school

— he'll try his best to know where you are most of the time and try to follow you back home to make sure you're safe (though its really obvious, you don't acknowledge him so he thinks he's actually doing something)

— but no matter how scary and possessive they are of you, they just want to be good for you, really

— its almost as if they're a puppy for you, always there for your beck and call

— give them a simple command and they'll do it immediately, no questions asked

— ask them to buy you a snack from the nearest store? he'll return back with a bagful of others that he thought you would like

— they're super clingy and always want to be near you

— somehow they manage to have the same exact classes that you have and at the same time. maybe you guys are just lucky? little do you know that your yandere hacked into the principal's computer to change his schedule to fit with yours

— if you're sick, they would immediately fetch you some medicine and make so many bowls of your favorite soup that you're not sure you could finish them all

— they would be so sad when you're sick cause that means they can't be as close as they usually are with you :(

— in bed, nothing changes at all. rather, he becomes even more infatuated with you

— they're still so good and obedient for you, always following your commands. its cute

— like what i said with him doing it with no hesitation, your yandere is eager to do what you say

— tell him to get on his knees? say less as he's already doing so, staring up at you with such innocent eyes

— tell him to open his mouth for you to stick your fingers inside? he opens wide and sticks out his tongue in such a sinful manner, hazy eyes absolutely begging you to make him choke on your fingers as drool drips down his chin

— order him to suck your strap and get it all wet? he's quick to get in between your legs and get his hands on the fake dick, his mouth going straight to bobbing it up and down and gagging as it hits the back of his throat. he'll try to subtly grind his hard on against your foot without you noticing but you do anyways but he's being a good boy so you allow it

— and oh my god is he so shameless in public

— no hesitation in telling you what he wants you to do to him when there are people around

— you'll be at brunch with some of your friends and suddenly you'll feel a hot breath on your ear, such sinful words coming soon after

"im wearing lingerie under my clothes, your favorite set too. wouldn't you like to just ruin me right here and now? make me cry and look so pretty while you show everyone im yours?"

— safe to say that you immediately dragged him to the family bathroom and fingered him until he was gripping onto you for dear life, begging and crying out for you to stop and take pity on him (he's lying about wanting you to stop)

— when you're out with errands or just at work, he'll take such sinful pictures of himself to send to you randomly

— the pictures would include his legs spread out, a obvious bulge in his underwear, and something adorning his body whether its lingerie, a maid outfit, or rope that's tied so tightly on him

— if he's feeling like teasing you even more, he'll send whimpering audios that beg you to come home and fuck him and if you listen close enough, you'll hear some wet noises that let you know that he's masturbating

"f-fuck, [name] come back s-soon, please? i-i miss you so much! i- ah! i-im wearing your favorite outfit right now! i'll be a g-good ngh boy waiting for you ♡"

— itll end up with you rushing home after you're finished to fuck him dumb in that outfit, making it stained with his tears and cum

— he knows you can't really get him pregnant but your yandere just loves those straps with cum in them that you can just shoot inside him whenever you're fucking him fast and rough

— that'll make his eyes roll back and head throw backwards as he lets out such a loud mewl at the feeling of your fake cum filling him up

— and afterwards he'll tease you by using his fingers to push the cum thats gushing out of his hole back in before licking his fingers

— although your yandere is a good boy for you most of the time, theres times where he's a brat

— he'll talk back to you whenever you command him to do something or cum without permission

— but just some long edging or overstimulation will break him and turn him into a sobbing mess

— tying his hands to the headboard and keeping his legs spread apart whilst a vibrator is inside him on the highest setting is his favorite punishment

— your yandere thinks you don't know that since you do it all the time but you actually do know it, you just love the way his face is stained with his drool and tears while his chest and the sheets underneath him is covered in his cum afterwards

— such a slut but we love him for it

ty for reading to the end! ❤ - chaepink

╰┈➤ masterlist | rules

#chaepink.nsfw #sub!character #dom reader #dom fem reader #yandere x reader #haikyuu smut #mha smut #sub!gojo #yandere smut #yandere fanfiction #jjk smut #yandere male #mha fanfiction #yandere #sub character #sub yandere #fem dom reader #dom!reader #sub!hq #sub!mha #sub!bnha #sub!jjk #sub!kny #sub!csm #sub!bllk #sub!genshin #sub bnha #sub!haikyuu #sub dbh #sub!idol

[splatoonmaster69]

.

#vent continued #frankly i dont know why im even talking about it here when none of you care either #i mean yoy all follow me for funny shit and thats literally it none of yoy give an actual fuck #i could drop dead right now and none of yoy would care #oooo look at me im such a silly little guy please stop ignoring me please be nice i promise ill be funny for you if your nice #i promise ill be your little pet compliment and joke dispenser if you just hang out with me every few months and say you like me #its so funny when the only adults that care are literally paid to do so #its even funnier that sometimes even qhen theyre paid to they still dont care enough to do the bare minimum to keep me alive #its *even funnier* than that that not a single one of the 300 people who like the silly things i reblog would care if i died #thats another selfish thought im not allowed to think that because im always selfish even if all i want is for people to care for once #i hate all of you #and see thats why no one cares because i say i hate them right after i beg them to care this is why im so stupid #im so tired if dad was one of those neglectful parents that leaves a gun around id hurry up and blow my brains out #maybe my best friends would be sad but lets face it everyone else woumd get over it before the funeral ended #'oh no my son is dead. atleast i dont need to deal with what a failure he is anymore' #i thoght meds were supposed to stop me from feeling like this anymore why the hell are we payinf for them if i still wanna die so bad #im so tired. i wish it was all over already