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#but even still there will be so much that i don't even know i dont know
matchakuracat · 2 days
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chronically ill/physically disabled people, how do you deal with doctors appointments? what do you say/do to advocate for yourself? im autistic and not diagnosed with a chronic illness yet and i really struggle to know what to say to get them to listen to me and understand so that i can get the help and care i need. even if i bring someone with me, they also need to know what to say and i don't know anyone who understands well enough to explain to the doctor for me, which means that i have to tell them what to say before going. but that's the problem since i just don't know.
i have chronic joint pain that ive had for years but has only gotten worse over time. i also have hypermobile knees which are the worse they've ever been right now. i'm chronically fatigued and barely have the energy to eat and do basic hygiene. i have a few friends that i talk to fairly regularly and im very thankful for them but i still struggle so much with maintaining a social life when i cant even maintain my own physical wellbeing. i only go outside when i absolutely have to/when my pain is low enough and i have enough energy. on average i probably leave my house about once or twice a week, usually to go to medical appointments, to an internship i have once a week or to go grocery shopping. i usually try to do both at the same time if i can (like going grocery shopping after my internship) but most of the time i have to ask my parents to get me groceries since i dont have enough energy to. all i want is to be able to go outside just to take short walks and enjoy nature and the fresh air but i can't do so without the right treatment/a mobility aid. everything im doing right now is bordering the line of too much. im constantly tired and overwhelmed and everything feels like a struggle, even the smallest tasks most people do everyday without thinking twice about it.
i have almost only had bad experiences with doctors and other medical professionals like physiotherapists, which has given me a lot of extra anxiety on top of my already pretty bad social anxiety. i really struggle to make appointments and even more so to go to them, and when i bring myself to do so i really struggle to express myself and explain how i feel and how i want them to help me. i almost always get shut down and offered no actual help with any of my problems. i just don't know what to do anymore.
if anyone has any advice i'd really appreciate it. i know that i can't give up because my life right now without accommodations is too miserable, but i also don't know how to move forward.
sorry if this was hard to understand. i really tried my best to explain but im having a bit of a hard time expressing myself right now due to feeling worse than usual.
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yuyu1024 · 2 days
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Babe
Pairings: S.coups × y/n
Genre/tags: protective/possessive bf
Warning: 🔞🔞🔞 fluff but smut, unprotected sex, pet names, cursing, semi public, handjob
~~~ [lmk if i miss anything]
Words: 3k
Disclaimers:
- this story is just made up
- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊
A/N: looong time no post. ✨️I was away... got sick and mentally not doing okay... and I dont think im 100% okay yet...Its been hard but still trying my best :)
i might be coming back to writing here and there... but not consistent. Hopefully you understand...
meaning, i will be a 🐌 in updating nor posting and won't be online mostly. 🖤
(i cant promise i can jump back to the Yoongi/Suga series yet also sorry 😭 hopefully one day but not soon.)
Me writing... is depending if im okay.
Also, Thank you for the kind messages in DMs. I really do appreciate them...even tho i don't reply 🖤 pls know its very helpful.
Thank you.
P.S its been a long time since i wrote anything so.... rusty.🥲 this is my just trying to get back to it.
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Seungcheol, your boyfriend, texted you to meet him at school. Which surprised you the second you read it because it has been weeks since he went to school.
He has been doing special online classes these past weeks as he can't walk. Yet. He slipped while playing soccer with the boys two months ago causing an injury on his left leg. It was very painful to watch him yell in pain during that game. It was supposed to be just a fun game with his friends and you and their other friends watching but yeah, accidents happen.
"What are you doing here?" You gasp the second you enter the University clinic and saw your boyfriend sitting and chatting with the school doctor.
"Babe." He smiles and opens his arm, asking for a welcome hug
"Babe!" You squeal and immediately run and hugged him tightly.
"I missed you." He mumbles lightly lifting you off the floor even he's sitting on the clinic's bed.
He never lost his strength.
"Ditto." You say and kissed him on his cheek before letting go. "Wait... why are you here?" You ask again. "He can go back to school now?" You turn to ask the doctor behind you
"He can. But I still suggest no." He folds the folder his holding and sits down on his desk. "He can walk now with crutches easily yes... but... going up and down... walking building to building to classes...." doctor shakes his head
"I'm just here to visit, babe." Cheolie says caressing your back. "To report my health to him... to let know the team..."
"Oh."
"I'm sorry..." he press his lips together and giving you an apologetic look.
"I'll leave you two to talk... I have to go on a meeting now in the faculty. Just let the nurse know when you leave okay? So she can assist you with the wheel chair."
"Okay, doc. Thank you."
And as soon as the doctor leaves and shut the door close behind him, Seungcheol immediately grabs you by the waist, pull you close to his body and leans in to fully kiss you.
It feels rushed at the beginning but as soon as you find the perfect spot to lean your body weight to his, it felt smooth and just sensational. You even opened your mouth completely to let his tongue explore you.
You two haven't kissed for awhile. The rent is due.
"I missed you so much." He whisper as he pulls away to take a breather.
"This is the longest we've been away from each other..." you say as you straighten your stand
"Yeah... I got busy healing..."
"And I got busy at school... and at home..." you answer as you sit down beside him. "How are you feeling at the moment?"
"Good....well.. better now that I've kissed you." He smirks and plants a tiny kiss on your temple
"Babe..." you lean on his shoulder
"You know you always make me feel good..." he chuckles. "Also... Doc said my leg is healing pretty good..."
"That's good to hear..." you stand up once again. "So... can I--"
And before you could ask him another question about visiting him soon at home Seungcheol kisses you on your cheek and then on the back of your hand.
"Thank you for always calling me... every night... making sure to check on me... give me updates at school and being an understanding girlfriend. Even though you are tired yourself."
"I didn't do that much." You say holding his hand. "If only I could visit you personally I would..."
But you couldn't. It's not like he leaves far away from you. It's just that you wanted him to just rest. You know how he is when he sees you. He gets excited and acts everything is fine even though he is in pain.
He would probably force himself to get up when you visit him. It's kind og his thing to show off he is strong. Especially to you. He is your alpha lover.
"No...babe. just you calling has saved me from a lot of bad moods and not doing my therapies because... I'm not in the mood." He kisses your hand again.
"Well I'm glad... I could help..." you say smiling.
"And also..." he then bites his lower lip whilst smiling. You already know what he's about to say with those cheeky smirks.
"Hush..." you cover his mouth with your hand, scared that he might say it outloud and the nurse from behind the door might hear. "That's for us only..." you whisper.
He is referring to the video call sessions you do every now and then. To help him when he is... sad and horny.
"You promised... no one should know..."
"Of course..." he murmurs, his mouth is still covered by your hand. "The images are for my eyes to see and for my dick to feel only." He adds and then playfully licks your palm, making you jump a little.
"Hey!" You slap him on his shoulder
He is grinning so much. He is enjoying your reactions. "You're so adorable being shy..." he puts his arm around your waist, securing you between his legs. "My shy little fairy..." he mumbles just before he kisses you again.
You don't deny him of any sort of making out. Even at the clinic. Why woulf you? You missed him so bad too.
So bad that even his hands is skimming your body and even lifting your short A-Line skirt, exposing your bum, just to squeeze it is fine. Perfectly fine.
"Wait." He pauses and looks you in the eyes. "You are wearing a skirt this short... with no protective shorts under?"
"Hmm?" You look at him, confused for a second. "Oh."
He is yout alpha, yes. And one trait of him that is very dominant is him being protective of you. He does not like anyone hurting you, being mean to you and most especially drooling over you. You are his and only his.
"What you mean oh?" He raises a brow. "Well? Why aren't you wearing one?"
You don't have a good excuse. You just forgot. Well... you have been forgetting since he have been away.
"Y/N..."
"You're now calling me by name...." you move back away a little. "I'm sorry... I have no excuse..."
"What if some maniac sees you? When you go up stairs? Or the elevator in the media building? You know its glass right? They can see... what if wind blows and..." he sighs, frustrated. "You know how most guys are."
"I know... I'm really sorry." You pout. "I didn't purposely forget it..."
You see the change in his mood. He is very possessive of you so you know that just the idea of any guy looking at you because they find you cute or have interest of being close to you and whatever, he's already on guard.
He sighs again and also he's already grabbing his crutches.
"Leaving already?" You say in the softes tone.
"Yeah..." he stands up and calls on the nurse for assistance.
"Okay..." you lower your gaze.
You are not sure how to tame your boyfriend since this time you know you are at fault for forgetting and breaking a promise you told him after he was told to stay at home.
You stand up and sling your bag over your shoulder. "Just... call me when you get home."
"I will not call you." He says as he sits down on the wheel chair. "You're coming home with me."
"Wait. What?" You ask
The nurse enters the room and greets the two of you.
"Ready to go home?" The nurse asks
"Yes." Seungcheol smiles at her. "I have a scheduled therapy this afternoon..."
"Oh... I see... goodluck then." She says as she helps to push your boyfriend
"Y/N..." he calls your name out again.
This is the second time he called you by name. He is clearly not okay with the skirt situation. This never happened before.
***
You both arrived at his parent's house. They welcomed you and hugged you even. They thanked you for being a support system for their son even though physically you can't come because, well, they know how their son acts around you.
It's not a secret that their son is so in love with you that he's very clingy and trying to act cool and such.
"I already made food for the two of you so just reheat it if you decide to eat later."
"Oh. Thank you Mrs. Choi." You say
"It's nothing dear... also... thank you for being his care taker for tonight... we will enjoy our night on out staycation at the city." His mother says
You are stunned to hear what Mrs. Choi just said. You can't react beside just smiling and nodding. "Ah... ahm... don't worry about us... I'm going to take good care of him."
"Thank you, again." Mr. Choi says.
"We'll get going now... see you tomorrow afternoon, dear." She says to her son who is sitting in the sofa drinking his cola.
"Have fun, Mom and Dad!" He waves at them
And as soon the door shuts and you hear the car engine from outside.
"What the fuck was that?" You stomp you way towards him. "Care taker... tonight?? Babe?"
Nonchalantly he answers. "You will be staying for the night here with me... until tomorrow..."
"Why?"
"Why not?" He looks at you with a coldest stare. "Do you have any other plans? Are you meeting with anyone?"
"No..."
"And then... stay...."
"But... my parents..."
"I already told them... they are fine with it."
"When?"
"I called them earlier... before I texted you to come to the clinic."
You are in complete shock. "Cheolie..." you whine
"Now, you're calling me by name?" He raises a brow. "Why are you acting like that? It's like you don't want to stay with me."
"That's not it."
"Then what?"
You sigh. You are lost for words.
Yes you should be happy you are spending time with your boyfriend but he could've told you. You would say yes if he asked or told you.
You are just stunned maybe or confused with him doing this too since he's been being snappy at you since earlier.
"Whatever." You mumble throwing your bag to the floor and just sitting down at the chair opposite of where he's sitting.
Now you are the one in the bad mood.
"I still have the clothes and undergarments you left from last time..." he then says in a much calmer tone.
"Okay." You answer not looking at him.
You are not mad at him. You are just not happy with what he did. He probably wanted to surprise you with the idea earlier but since it got ruined during your clinic make out session. Now things are...
"Babe." He calls you
You turn your head to look at him. He looks serene now.
"Can you please come here..." he says
You get up and make your way to him, to sit down beside him.
"Not there." He says holding on to your wrist and leading you to move somewhere else. "Here..." he gestures for you to sit on top of him.
"But... your leg..."
"I can manage..." he breathes and then tugs you down so he could kiss you, cupping your face with one hand.
Your hands are now on his chest for balance support. You tried pulling away from the kiss but
"Sit..." he says in between the kiss.
And you do as he says. Kneeling down on the sofa, legs spread between his thighs, you sit down on him and slowly put your arms around his neck.
"Cheolie..." your lips part ways as you spoke and he tries to chase the kiss again but you bite your lips together. "Wait..."
"Why...?" He pouts
"What are you doing?"
"What do you mean?" He runs his hands from your legs to your thighs and then underneath your skirt.
"You were just so cold to me... not even talking to me like I'm your girlfriend... and now you're kissing me and touching me..."
He throws his head back for a second and then sighs. "Babe, I'm sorry.... I was... well..."
"I said I'm sorry about the skirt... Don't worry. I will just wear pants starting on monday...."
"You sure?"
"Yeah... I promise." You kiss the tip of his nose. "I will just wear skirts when I'm with you."
"Really?" He raises a brow with matching smirk, biting his lower lip.
"Yeah..." you move your hips forward knowing what this tiny move will do to him. "I know you like to have easy access with me when we're together..." you softly say
He grunts as he feel you move a bit more. Rocking your hips over his erection that's sort of protected by his black jogging pants.
"I know what you're doing..." he hums
"And I know you like... what I'm doing..."
His smile goes ear to ear. "You're lucky I can't stand on my own yet... If I could..."
"What will you do?"
"Carry you over my shoulders and spread you on top of my bed..."
"And...?" You put your forehead to his.
"And...fuck you 'till dawn..."
Just the thought made you horny and wanting him. But since he can't do what he usually does to you, you decide to handle this on your own.
"You can still fuck me..." you say, grinning. "We have all night till tomorrow to find a way... a position you want me to be in."
"Fucking hell, babe." He grunts, sounding excited and turned on.
You adjust your position, making sure you can access him easily. Him meaning his long veiny length that's already leaking.
"Shit! Ah!" His mouth drops the second you hold onto him. His eyebrows is showing how he's loving the way you stroke and pump him. "Babe..." he moans. "Babe... aaaaahhh..." he throws his head back, his hands on his hair, trying to hold on to reality coz he is floating in heaven right now.
"Should I... let the tip touch me?"
"Touch... you?" He looks at you, brows furrowed from the high.
You already removed your panties off without him noticing.
"Yes... like this...." you then adjust your position back on top of him and lowered yourself just enough for the tip of his dick feel your entrance.
"Babe, fuck!" He snarls throwing his head back. "Your so damn wet already..."
You let him feel the wetness for awhile before you ease him in you.
"Holy... shiiiiit!"
"Ngggeeeaaah..." you breathe in as you suck him in whole.
"You're doing great babe." He pushes the hair off your face. "Don't rush it... just... feel it... feel me..."
When he's completely in you, you didn't move. You just hugged your man and took a breather.
"I can't believe my little fairy is being so daring..."
"Because I want to give you what you want... what you need..." you mumble on his neck.
"Babe, you know I can wait till I'm healed and ready to fuck you..."
"I know..." you look him in his eyes, "but I miss it too..."
"You do?"
You nod. "Us video calling... while we... you know... is not enough... I thought it was enough... but when I saw you earlier... I really did missed you more than I can imagine."
"You miss my dick?" He tease
"Babe!" You hide your face on his neck again.
"Ugh..." he suddenly moans. "Wow. I didn't know you get tigher when I tease you."
Seungcheol starts to move his hips a little, to ease dipper into you.
"Ah..." you exhale shakily. "Cheolie...hmmm...."
"You like that?"
"I do."
Then you start to move yourself.
You leaned back a little, pushing forward and pulling backward in motion to meet his slow but deep thrusting.
"Cheolie..." you cry his name as you feel like reaching your climax.
"Just let it go..."
"Fuck!" You throw your head back, panting and shaking. "Come with me..." you say, "come....with me..." you clentch more down there, making him feel the tightness.
"But babe..." biting on his lips, hissing and trying to control himself. "We don't have condoms."
"I don't care." You lean in for a sloppy kiss. "Come with me. I need to see you... melt with me..."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Babe..."
"Please..." you beg, "I want to feel it..."
"Fuck it!" He snarls as he goes to squeeze your ass under your skirt as he picks up the pace with you
It's amazing how strong he is. Even with an injured leg he could lift his hips to meet yours.
"Aaah!!" You moan as loudly as you can as you felt something in you pop.
He growls as soon as feel his length starts to release and feel the warmth in you.
"Fuck babe..." he is panting. "Our first time you being on top..."
Embarassed after your orgasm, you hug your man and hide your face again. "I only did what I know and can..."
"You did amazing... your handjob is what I needed to get me into the a frenzy." Then he kisses the top of your head. "I fucking love you... whatever you do... makes me love you even more..."
"I love you too..." you go for a kiss again. But then burst into a giggle when you felt him move. "You are still in me... I can feel you."
A smile spread over his lips, "Maybe we should continue this on my bed. I can do other positions and pump more in you if you want."
You grin, blushing. "I'd love to."
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batmanisagatewaydrug · 20 hours
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going to format this like a reddit post because it’s the only way. i (transmasc) don’t know if i’m sexually attracted to the girl (transfem) im having sex with. i’ve known for a while that i’m asexual and fuck for fun, and when i see my friend who i’m fucking, i don’t have any immediate overwhelming desire to have sex with her, unless we’re like, in the moment yknow? like i totally forget that it’s even an option bc i could just sit there and talk to her for hours as my friend bc i love (platonic) her dearly and we have a lot of stuff in common. my only quip is that like, is that sexual attraction ???? being in her bed and having our hands on each other and kinda feeling it then? but not at other times? is sexual attraction constant?? maybe im bisexual and aromantic. or maybe i’m regular bisexual and i just dont like romantic relationships. makenzie why are human minds so goddamn difficult to parse the emotions of? i want to be her friend but im confused by my emotions towards her. how am i consistently having sex with someone im not literally sexually attracted to? and liking it? i mean that kinda has to be sexual attraction right? idk. help girl (gender neutral)
hi anon,
have a seat. drink some water. take a deep breath. we're wildly overthinking this.
what you call yourself - asexual, aro bi, bi but not into romance, whatever - that doesn't actually matter.
here are the things I'm worried about here: are you feeling at all pressured or coerced here? given the choice would you want to stop having sex with this person? do you feel comfortable setting boundaries and saying no when you have sex? you don't need to be overcome with raw sexual yearning for your sexual buddy, but do you enjoy and look forward to having sex with her? is this a positive experience for you?
it's fine to have sex even if you don't walk around thinking about it drooling like a horny cartoon wolf, whether it's because you're asexual or just allosexual without a particularly vigorous sex drive. (the line between those things can be pretty blurry and is pretty up to you to define, by the way.) sex can be fun and feel great; it's fine to want to do that even if you don't have a longing in your loins for it.
think of it this way? I don't particularly like most vegetables, but I like how my body will feel when I eat them, so I make a point of doing that as much as I can. and when I cook them they'll usually come out pretty tasty, and I'll enjoy or at least fell neutral about them. and still doesn't mean I like vegetables, or at least I don't particularly identify as someone who likes vegetables, but I did. eat those vegetables.
the sex is vegetables.
I can't tell you if this is sexual attraction. but also it doesn't matter very much as long as you're being safe and having fun.
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ot3 · 2 days
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tangentially related to 30 rock... i just finished watching girls5eva because its the level of sitcom that's fine for me to watch while working and someone brouht it up in my inbox a week or so ago. but when i saw the tiny fey EP credit i was like ahhh okay that makes sense.
showrunner of girls5eva was meredith scardino who was a writer on kimmy schmidt, which also tracks. the 30 rock dna is really trickling down through those shows and i can't tell if its getting weaker as it goes or if its just that since this style of humor is no longer novel it doesnt hit as well
girls5eva was fine i watched the whole thing (i accidentally started on season 3 and did not realize until it was finished. i dont know why netflix decided to start this show at season 3 for me when i hadnt watched the previous ones?) and it definitely had some funny moments but i felt it just like it wasn't quite getting where it needed to humor-wise for me. like all of the ribbing about the horrible misogyny and shit that was just Everywhere in the 00s was fun but i think over all just nothing about it was fresh in a way it would have needed to be to make the show stand out
i never finished kimmy schmidt but i do remember it being pretty funny. havnet watched it since the first few seasons were originally airing, maybe ill go back and do that to compare. but theres also something to be said for how much shorter every show has to be now. girls5eva is 3 seasons with 22 episodes total (dont know if its getting a 4th but it's still listed as 2021- on everywhere), kimmy schmidt was 4 seasons with 51 episode. meanwhile 30 rock had 7 seasons and 139 ! episodes. that's a pretty fucking significant difference. so it may be that just having more leeway to throw spaghetti at the wall gives you the chance to be funnier.
im not exactly tapped in to the sitcom market but i feel like it's been probably around a decade since we've gotten a new one that's really managed to produce what i view as stand-out and novel humor. definitely the best one since 30 rock has been community, but i also do think brooklyn 99 managed to really nail a lot of good Bits even if the way it made people act was intolerable a lot of the time. captain holt you will always be famous. but other than those 2 i don't think anything really groundbreaking has been done in the US sitcom landscape since the aughts
im sorry abbott elementary stans its perfectly enjoyable television but it's just like Doing a Parks and Rec again which was in turn Doing An Office But Twee itself.
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ganondoodle · 19 hours
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Not to add more fuel to the fire (I do) but seeing all your TotK rants and agreeing with every single part of them, I just remembered that as soon as the first Sages appeared on screen I immediately noticed that even their voice actors were the same as the Champions from BoTW but a bit "deeper" sounding and when I looked up they ARE.
I don't mind when voice actors make a come back for specific roles tbh but this time with how disappointed I was starting to feel about the game's story it felt super odd?? Like it did feel so much like they were reusing stuff ;;
honestly if anyone wants to rant about totk in my inbox feel free to do so, i might not always respond but its really good to hear others be similarly disappointed and maybe you are even pointing out something i havent thought about
(also its fine to not agree with everythign i say, just dont be a dick about xD)
you see ... now that you say that i remember seeing the leaks before the game came out that some of the voice actors from botw said they returned for totk and that was a topic of discussion .... which went nowhere also bc i guess they were too lazy (sorry, that word is way overused when people talk about games but ... well) to find anyone new for the few lines they say
that said it doesnt exactly help the case of ancient ancestor (that looks exactly the same as the modern people!! i cant stand that!! its my character design taste that is more annoyed than the lore nerd but its stilll ... they didnt do that either to differentiate the past thats OVER TEN THOUSAND years ago aaaaaaargh) that all say the same line only with a few words changed around or rephrased like someone badly copying your homework but trying to hide it- without telling you any new information at all that all have no personality, not even a different clothing style (its aaalllll sonau style now woooheeee) and dont even get to have faces bc they are hidden under a SONAU MASK AT ALL TIMES even when NOT FIGHTING (why are they even in their temples after rauru seals ganondorf ... no seriosuly what are they doing there, just standing around waiting for zelda to come beg them to swear yet another oath to some guy in the far future, theres no one in the bg either like idk, they could have been praying or sth- wait .... why are they still wearing the stupid mask and outfit .... raurus gone and minerus getting eaten by miasma i dont think anyone would care (i know its bc they dont want to make another model ... though removing the helmet at the very least ... no?) and then dont even get their own voice ... lol
(i didnt notice bc i played with japanese voices bc the german voice actor for gan sounded like german daruk and that was too weird for me ... i still expected him to say more than a few lines and some yells at that point .. hah ... )
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clochettesworld · 2 days
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So im right!??? Literally "knowing" is THAT?
It's that indescribable isness?? Its not knowing in the mind, its like all around the mind. It's not even in between thoughts either. It's literally "all around" thoughts??? There's so much damn overcomplication out there...
I guess I just have to "test" my isness now...I still feel some "attachment" to fear....i mean it's coming in waves right now...I guess they dont ultimately matter. But im gonna test my isness by knowing I experience calm and cool these next "few days," i need a break
Why are you asking me if you're right ? 🤔 you should know for yourself
Pure knowing yes.
Aware of = knowing
Test implies doubts, uncertainty. Knowing is not believing.
Isness can not be tested, it's the most obvious, it's just existence. You ARE right now. There is no doubts about this.
If you know yourself , no test is needed because you know everything is you.
You don't need to test if you're breathing, you don't need to test if you can eat. You don't need to test if you blink or not. You know you do. And you don't need to do anything about it because it's natural and automatic
You want tea , you make tea and drink tea
You want calm, you are calm
Simple decision
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kamig4mes · 2 days
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We need friendship headcannons with kisski and hanma it can be seperated or as an trio,you can make one platonic and one as an love interest i dont really care!!!
I'm still excited that you made this request, anon bc this duo has been making eyes at me these days. I thought about kisakixhanmaxfem!reader. I'm so sorry for the wait!! I hope u like it, nd enjoy it!
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#pov: friendship headcanons with Kisaki and Hanma (platonic/love interest)
★ warnings: fem!reader, realistic hc, fluff, funny, friendship, love interest, established relationship, platonic facts, school mention
→ a/n: H&K = Hanma and Kisaki
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—friendship (+ platonic facts)!
The three go and return together wherever they go, both boys coming to pick you up at the entrance of your house and leaving you at the same even when classes are over! This pair makes sure you're in one piece by the end of the day.
The races to determine the unnecessary speed between you are never lacking. A few meters to enter the school, Hanma challenges them to a race to see who gets there first and you accept, and as always you do the countdown.
"Alright! in your marks, read-.. HUH?!
And before you know it Hanma took the dirty lead by shooting out first, taking the lead and leaving you biting the dust
"STOP, STUPID CHEATER!"
You run in search of him screaming complaints between laughs trying to reach him while Kisaki just keeps walking at his pace like the normal person he is, catching up with them minutes later.
At least three times a month they attend karaoke together. They try to use all the power of friendship possible to convince Kisaki to go together, trying not to upset him with his nonsense the previous days. After two attempts, the blonde accepts, renting the most minimal time rate they have to stop listening to the stormy concerts that you and Hanma give it.
It's natural for Hanma to bother you every day, almost as if that's his mission in this life. Sometimes it makes you very angry, is Kisaki who intervenes asking to stop. But once both stoics made you cry out of pure rage so you stopped talking to them for a whole week. They both spent that time following you around in silence and apologizing by buying your favorite sweets.
Hanma accompanies you to almost any nonsense you can think of, until it puts the three of them in a bad position. The bicolor loves the adrenaline rush, but if he feels that his asses can end up in difficult problems to handle he absolutely aborts the mission.
H&K are your protectors. Whether with intimidating looks/postures or verbal threats, both guys make it clear to everyone that you are their best friend and they can't try any moves on you. Yes, that's the way they are.
That's why Valentine's Days were really sad for you because, for some alien reason, you didn't receive any gifts or letters that day. Much less declarations of love or anonymous confessions. NOTHING. And the reason is that in reality, H&K were furtively responsible for eliminating (not literally) anyone who tried to make any move on you regarding the date, the two allying themselves to scare away and intimidate.
"I'm sorry, brat" explains the bicolor blocking the way to the classroom to the boy one grade below you "this girl is already busy"
"B-but I-"
"And don't try anything behind our backs, or you won't want to regret it later," Kisaki muttered, making the poor trembling boy pass out loud saliva when he clattered his knuckles noisily.
This is how your two best friends were always there to comfort you and fill that void of the day with walks or gifts only from them.
The three of them would run away from classes, but only when they are extremely bored of listening to the teacher.
H&K care a lot about your health, even if it doesn't seem like it. They offer you water or some nutritious drink, buy you breakfast and even make sure that you don't consume a lot of fried foods or sweets.
Their jobs are close to each other, so it's easy for the three of them to meet at a specific place and then stop by for a drink or just walk home.
—(+) platonic facts!
The first time H&K saw you wearing a swimsuit for a beach meet-up that you organized with your friends, they gasped. Kisaki felt that her face would explode because of how good your body looked while Hanma quickly glanced at you every time you passed by him.
H&K are the kind of guy in love who contemplates you at every opportunity he can. Kisaki by his observant and discreet nature manages to spy without being seen by anyone while Hanma does it blatantly without caring if it's very obvious or not. You actually caught him once seeing you, and his reaction was to let out a little giggle and look away when he realized that you caught him. You could notice the soft blush on his cheeks.
They enjoy taking pictures of you doing random things. Especially Hanma (he has a whole album of you and kisaki on his phone), and only occasionally Kisaki warns for a good take.
"Take out your phone, Shuji"
"Huh? And for what the hell-?"
"Look over there, is y/n"
Kisaki points at you covertly, and the two-tone nods, catching his friend's intention as he quickly pulled out his phone. Seconds later the flash does its job. They both smile seeing you captured on the screen.
"Good angle" celebrates the blonde "very cute.."
"Yea' she looks fcking beautiful"
Yes, whether it's taking you or going to pick you up, taking a walk to the park for a while and things like that, at first H&K keep track of which one of the two has to share time with you. That's why it's not uncommon for you to feel that they take turns.
Kisaki would leave you a lot of small gifts throughout the week anonymously because he is embarrassed to deliver them to you in person. At first you thought it could be a stalker with ninja skills because you couldn't catch him in the act, but soon (and in the dumbest way) you found out it was the blond one (I have a little pov for this hc, I'll upload it after this!)
—love interest!
Hanma calls you "baby" most of the time, and would use adorable nicknames like "babydoll" or "fcking princess" just to annoy you. I'm not sure with Kisaki, I think "honey" might work for him. But both of them, without a doubt, call you "darling" a lot of the time.
Hanma, unlike Kisaki, is more concerned about your feminine needs. I feel like he has a sharper sense for that kind of thing. On the other hand, you can safely entrust the financial part to Kisaki because that man will cover all your whims.
Maximum princess treatment with some moments of rough love (the latter courtesy of Shuji Hanma). They like to pamper and pamper you a lot, just allow yourself to enjoy it.
On dates YES OR YES the three of you go together. And the one who is usually planning spontaneous outings is Hanma. For more important events that require more planning (such as special dates) Kisaki takes care of, for the rest of the outings/appointments he just gets carried away by the rhythm of you two.
Their plans for an intimate afternoon is to warm up the three of them together between sheets and sweets while watching eternal marathons of movies or documentaries (hanma falls asleep after two films and you always wake him up before the marathon ends so that Kisaki doesn't notice).
Their first date as official couples was at an amusement park by your decision. It was quite an exhausting day for the three of them but they would be able to repeat it a thousand more times if with that they manage to see the exact definition of happiness in each other's smiles again.
When you and Hanma start a tickle fight, you run away in the direction of Kisaki's private studio hiding behind him because he never allows Hanma to enter that place. And you know it very well. That place is your safe zone. But once you take one foot out of there your immunity ends, and Hanma makes sure to get revenge by cornering you between the sofa and him with no escape option. Kisaki gives a soft smile when he hears them laughing in the distance.
At the same time, you and Hanma are good partners, teaming up as an unconscious act to make fun of anything Kisaki says or does.
Broadly speaking Kisaki in a refined, calculating, thoughtful, more elegant and formal type than any ordinary person. In this way he manages to keep his surroundings (and his inner world) under control and at peace. But unfortunately Kisaki can not go against the hyperstimulated souls of their partners. So when a situation in which his presence is completely protagonist and necessary gets stressed. Specifically because the ideas you and Hanma come up with can become terrifyingly exhausting for him. Going to fairs, concerts, parties, birthdays and similar events these are some examples.
Kisaki harbors a buttery side that melts faster when she's resting in your arms, whether you're stroking her hair or listening to her thoughts out loud. Not with this he says that he loves you more than Hanma, only you transmit to him a greater warmth and security compared to the noisy and annoying immature actions of the languid boy. Hanma, in turn, gets cheesier when she's alone with you. He feels that he can release his more cloying cuteness with you because he knows that you tolerate that kind of treatment more, and that you are not going to reject him or get irritated like it happens when he tries to be the same way with Kisaki. Still, none of you have preferences, all three of you love each other equally.
Hanma shows them how much he loves them and how important they are to him by spending quality time together: walks in the fresh air, outings to eat, watching movies at the cinema or at home, playing with board games/video games, etc. Anything that allows him to share his time with the two of you he will put into practice. Kisaki, on the other hand, applies physical contact: hands on the waist, caressing sessions, linked fingers, kisses on random areas of the body, massages, etc. In these ways Kisaki tries to convey to both of you all the love and appreciation he feels for you two, showing you a side that he doesn't have with anyone else.
Of course, this pair is a dangerous bombshell of jealousy and possession. Oh yeah, anyone who tries to step out of the line or even flirt with you won't have any functional organ or limb left to tell about it.
They also don't like to share you with others, no matter if it's your family or friends. Hanma is the most impatient and impulsive of the three, he won't even spend two hours when he's already holding your hand to take you with him and get you out of wherever you are without letting you properly excuse yourself. Kisaki is more patient and serene, entertaining his mind with other things until he can't stand it anymore and demands that you return by means of a call or he just goes to look for you. You better not ignore this couple when jealousy gets the better of them, or you're not going to have a great time afterwards.
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©2024 / ENJOY ♡ — aaaand I was finally able to finish it, I was too busy with classes 🥲🥲 I'll keep writing more about this trio eventually. Thank u for all your love and patience 🙌🏻 tkm
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modernsapphicism · 2 days
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I have made mistakes, I continue to make them
Summary: Of all the things that Janis had predicted how this little stunt of theirs would end, Regina George being hit hy a bus wasn't one of them. Suddenly, all the overwhelming feelings she had buried deep down all those years ago comes resurfacing all at once over the sight of seeing the person she once called her best friend lying on the ground, helplessly bloodied and bruised. Something that Janis didn't think she would ever witness in her lifetime. Or, Janis' experience throughout the bus incident.
Warning(s): Just a little angst
Janis didn't see it. Somehow she wish she saw so she could've done something, anything.
She was being swallowed by the crowd, too hyped up by the moment to notice the giant yellow bus that came hurdling towards Regina. The blood-curdling screams of the students made her hyperaware of the surrounding and the next thing she knew, the bus had stopped and Regina was on the ground, a few feet away from where she was last seen standing in front of Cady.
The whole school was in shock of what happened, the red-head more than the rest of the students behind her, knowing full well she was in the front-row of the accident. Cady wasn't moving, most likely from the shock. She just stared at Regina's body with tears running down her cheeks. This wasn't supposed to happen.
It all came so fast and so slow at the same time. Janis doesn't remember much details from that moment but she does remember screaming and running towards Regina. No one has moved an inch and there was a student on the ground, bleeding out. Janis was seething with anger mixed with sorrow.
Janis ran and screamed. She screamed to the crowd to get the teachers, get the principal, to just fucking get anybody while she hurriedly settles down next to Regina's body, desperately wanting to touch the blonde, to cradle her, but refused to do so in order to avoid hurting her any further.
She looked down even with tears slightly blurring her vision and sees Regina bloody and bruised and dirty from all the dust and dirt of the road. She sees red splotches mixed with dirt and debris of the road, some few gashes from the inmpact and scraped skin from the rough road. Regina's eyes were barely open and was threatening to close any minute. Janis kept talking to her.
Regina stay with me, help is coming.
Don't you fucking dare close your eyes.
Fuck, Regina. Dont' you fucking dare go.
Regina, dont go...
Regina, stay, please...
Regina, I'm sorry...
And with the last words uttered, Regina's eyes fluttered to a close and Janis was terrified.
The next thing she knew, Janis was being dragged away by a teacher. It didn't even register to her that an ambulance had came and every adult in the whole school had come out of the building and surrounded the scene.
She didn't want to leave her friend's side so the best thing Janis could do was to scream and run once again. She managed to slip out of the teacher's grasp on her arm and ran towards Regina who was being assisted by the paramedics. It didnt last long until she was caught by Mr.Rapp and Mrs. Norbury, their grip strong but not hurting.
She flailed around, kicking and screaming, doing everything she can to escape their hold on her but any attempt was useless. Her body was slowly shutting down as well. Tears are still streaming down her cheeks and she sobbed uncontrollably. Mrs. Norbury kept talking to her, saying that it wouldn't do any good for anyone if Janis kept screaming at the people trying to help Regina. Her voice was almost a whisper but somehow Janis registered the words despite the blaring sounds of the ambulance, the chattering of the people standing by, and the sobs of some students. Janis resigns all her attempts and stands limply while being supported by the teacher, Mr. Rapp now standing a few feet beside her, and Mrs. Norbury still holding Janis by the shoulder and her back, this time her grip wasn't meant to stop her, but rather to at least comfort the student.
A second later, a car pulls up on the scene, revealing Mrs. George, frantic and devastated. Janis hears her shouting at Mr. Duvall, asking questions to him, the paramedics, and the police, to whoever would answer her questions of How did you let this happen? Who's responsible? Where is my daughter? Will my daughter be okay?
This was one of the few moments she saw Mrs. George act like an actual parent. Despite her flaws, Janis knew that Mrs. George cares and loves her daughter a lot. Regina was her mother's everything. Janis' heart sank at the scene.
That was the last moment Janis could clearly recall before her mind blacked out.
Janis didn't even know how she came home that day. She was told that her mom had picked her up and drover her home. She was allowed to take a few days off of school to process what happened. The whole class was permitted to take some time off just to sort everything out.
Few hours later, the news broke out that Regina had died for fifteen seconds but was luckily revived. The surgery was successful but she was still in a coma.
Janis stayed in bed all week, barely moving and barely eating.
Damian had texted her just to check if she was doing okay. Janis didn't have the energy to respond and left him on read.
The next day, Damian came over. Janis couldn't hold it in anymore at the sight of her best friend. She blamed herself for everything and sobbed all night.
She shouldn't have started this whole revenge party. She only wanted Regina to get a taste of her own medicine, not whatever nightmare this is.
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fictionfixations · 2 days
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masquerade malleus vignette
(spoilers for glorious masquerade)
aww
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i refuse to believe lilia is oblivious enough not to notice that they dont like his cooking
..although solomon (from obey me) doesnt notice either iirc, but i mean..
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..sebek. in a vignette, you literally got his help in cleaning a stain from malleus' labcoat???
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...i never thought id hear azul say those words.... what?????
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i dont know how it didnt hit me until now but the only reason rollo's plan in glorious masquerade failed was because he was so insistent on having malleus there and taking away all his power and shit?? like. cause. none of us had enough magic to actually overpower the fire lotuses(? i cant remember what they were called), although yuu would be able to make it through with no magic how could we even fight rollo at the end??
and at the point it reaches malleus and he could do something about it, it'd be too late?? because i REALLY doubt he has enough to reach all of those flowers and with enough to completely fry them out. and i doubt the bell would reach it by then.
silver...
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is azul even human?? im like pretty sure-ish he's not human. not even half human. just entirely sea creature with a human-like body to probably be treated more normally and not hunted for sport/food through evolution shit idfk (like. idk im pretty sure its a thing where pets look so much cuter to cause us to take them in and shit.)
anyway im just imagining sebek talking azul's ear off about how great malleus is because he finally has a buddy who understands and therefore would be willing to listen to him talk for hours straight about malleus's greatness. AND APPRECIATE IT. HAUIHDSUIhd and azuls just like ………………….. floyd and jade laughing at him from a distance azul sets sebek on them like 'i think those two should come to learn about malleus's brilliance, don't you think? after all, as my colleagues, it is such a shame that they don't share my admiration for malleus, and i am unsure how to put it into words, as malleus himself is so magnificent that even words fail to describe him properly. so sebek, my fellow appreciator, would you lend me your aid in helping them grow to appreciate his brilliance?' okay i ran out of words and started repeating them because ic ant be bothered to look up for synonyms, im not THAT into it okay
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ahhh so it is a fleur city song i wasnt sure. ive read in fics that it was, but it was also those fics where songs either have power, or yuu knows a bunch of disney songs that are considered 'forbidden/forgotten songs' or something like that and i cant remember which it was
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actually if they put in all that work beforehand i think i get why they were so insistent on waiting for rollo to either confess or not AFTER the social ball and after they left and everything LMFAO
they suddenly changed into their school uniforms (still in diasomnia)
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i honestly wouldnt know if id trust lilia that much but sure (i hope it doesnt turn to perfectionism levels tho)
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first time we encounter italicized text i think. huh.
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lmfao
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oh my god (no but why choose idia at that point?? is it cuz his voice meshes well with them??)
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ayoo its playing the make a wish (i think thats what the song is called) instrumental in the bg ive heard it way too many times not to recognize it (and sung along. its so fucking cool)
damn
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my hands are actually protesting now ah geez (i took a break)
I GOT SO DISTRACTED BY DEUCE (i was re-experiencing enjoying looking at everyones costumes again) I AM AN IDIOT (its lower in opacity to show you that you're on it in the editor)
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ooh
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i didnt notice the insert paragraph im sorry lMFAO but id forget if i didnt SS it then
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ooh some malleus riddle bonding
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AH ITS A YUU JUMPSCARE
that seriously startled me like suddenly i just hear footsteps and then BOOM OPTIONS
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ayooo malleus and yuu dancing
(alsoo yuu and deuce dancing :D)
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WOOO
okay. now.
i feel like. im doing really good progress tackling all the vignettes (currently in EN. after that's GloMas, & Book 6 and 7. ive been avoiding it because not all of the Backgrounds exist, and GloMas has options with completely different dialogue which I can't see them all. i have three different videos of GloMas gameplay but they dont show all options...). all thats remaining is azul's tsumsitter (i have a vid of his vignette. ..i just dont like doing the tsum ones because i never know how to describe the tsum moving) vil birthday bloom (i FOUND A VIDEO finally oh my god. i love doing birthday vignettes) malleus dorm uniform (I have a vid) sebek new year (i have a vid) grim labcoat (i have a vid)
and then the rabbit costume ones which all of them have vignettes iirc and i have videos for all of them (i actually just found them as i was writing this. thank you god. they have no views tho geez. wonder if that means vil birthday bloom exists in a video but just wont appear. this is future me. ...i have been blessed with vil birthday bloom.)
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wildpeachfarm · 2 days
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i actually do wonder how sales for foolishs merch would be while its still under dream branding. his audience has majorly shifted and most of them despise dream, wonder if they would refuse to buy it and if it would manage to hurt the profit a noticeable amount.
but honestly i really wouldnt read that much into it, foolish hasnt released merch in a very long time and frankly as long as creators arent being petty on main i dont really care how they feel about dteam, itll be sad but i can at least respect the maturity which all these other creators lack.
I mean yeah I don't really think foolish was probably bringing in a ton of sales period. Even when his chat was mainly dteam positive, I feel like I never saw people with his merch and I don't see people selling it on depop/poshmark/ etc. neeearly as much as other CCs which indicates to me that it wasn't selling great to begin with.
I think sometimes creator success on twitch just doesn't translate to physical merch sales and that's completely fine.
I just don't think that it should be assumed that it's because of anyone hating dteam or anything like that because you'd be surprised about how little of his chat actually know that his merch is made by dream branding (mostly because he never promotes it so no one actually knows he has merch)
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fairycosmos · 3 days
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Accidentally drank too much on an empty stomach last night and don't remember the last hour or so of the night so today I feel crazy embarrassed and ashamed even though according to my step tracker I just went on a walk around my neighborhood and according to my youtube history I was listening to 2000s pop punk. Yet I still feel like a criminal who needs to flee town I'm so sure I embarrassed myself. Why do I feel so much hangxiety?? I want the earth to swallow me up 😞
ughhhhhh youre literally so real like this has happened to me soooo many times and i know it's hell. i read something once about how it's just the alcohol that is still in ur system making the chemicals in your brain feel all off balanced and that's why even though you know you didn't do anything wrong the shame is still there. i always try to comfort myself by going through a quick mental checklist like did i hurt anyone? did i spend an insane amount of money? did i say anything objectiviely offensive? if the answer is no to all of those then i remind myself to just breathe through it bc nothing of note has happened, my brain is just a hungover hater. i know that's a lot easier said than done but honestly the feeling is only there until it inevitably fades and it will fade. i also notice that the more i think myself in circles about this trying to get rid of the shame and analyse it the harder it is to let it go so after the mental checklist i just recommend letting it be there, letting the feeling persist for however long it wants to and gently guiding your attention towards something else - a show, a hobby, a song, a walk, whatever. make sure you are watered and fed and get some more rest if needed. i'm srry you're going through this rn and i know words dont put a dent in it but honestly the burning anxiety will get smaller and smaller over the course of the next few days, promise. also side note i would love to walk around drunk and listen to 2000s pop punk with you! :^) x
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bidaryl · 11 months
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admit it. you only came back to atlanta for the hat. don’t tell anybody.
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skunkes · 8 months
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unsure how to word this but there is something about having ocs with unsavory events happening in their past where it's like. talking about it, even when asked, seems almost gratuitous and inappropriate. and i'd much rather describe it through the oc themself and/or draw Them saying it. which is like. fitting for the subject matter? like of course its weird to talk about somebody else's business...!
and falls back into humanizing em/exploratory writing and development where u consider the impact of words said/words unsaid/HOW those words are said etc etc
#because not all real persons would give u every detail of their trauma obviously#which makes sense but im an overexplainer but also it feels inappropriate to overexplain when it comes to dis#i hope that makes sense#talkys#i once described what went down with al as just directly as possible and it still felt weird. ykwim?? idk why.#well i do know why! i dont want it to seem gratuitous or like That Cheap Writing Element. fine line#same with talon so he'll just keep implying it thru text + dialogue which is how it should be !#the only difference is i think with al i wrote it like he would've said it bc he has more access to that side of himself#and is aware of how it affected him#whereas characterwise talon absolutely would just speak in riddles about and around it#i don't even think he's conscious about the direct effects of it#(but i wouldnt know bc he hasn't made that known to me in my brain)#people respond differently to different things and all that#also im so sorry if half the shit ive said recently is so like. Well Duh. i havent made a new oc in a decade gimme a break LOL#also i realize the. irony? of me even vaguely talking about it in the way i did but 1. i think that's also realistic when you#dont want to do a whole deep dive on someone else's business and 2. people are becoming#curious about my oc(s) and im just thinking about well; significant events and how to handle not speaking about em#FOR them. <- weirdly#idk. they're real to me.#its just so much more interesting to leave it up to them! people can lie people can downplay
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also like.
the average kid obsessed with their leader mentions him ten or less times (gord mentions derby eight times, parker six times, kirby mentions ted five times). while the leaders don't usually make names at all
peanut mentions johnny THIRTY TIMES. but johnny still mentions peanut ZERO TIMES
and idk sometimes it hits me in the back like a fucking truck
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autisticaradiamegido · 3 months
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day 26
someday if i can figure out how the hell people get these things made i would like to do some little destiny & malice acrylic charms. i think those are so fun. and while i mostly want them for Myself i figure that if i DID figure out the process, i should maybe open up the option to anyone else that might want them, soooo...
informal poll: if i figure out how all that works, would any of y'all be into that, and approximately how many of you?
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scuopsie · 3 months
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hiiii friends!!!!!☺️❣️ it's me!!! the blog formerly known as Hyunubear!
I thought I should re-introduce myself (and pretend im normal sldjfld) since im getting into a new fandom! 🙄👉🏻👈🏻
I'm Niki, you local kpop hag (28), sometimes I make gifs but mostly i shitpost. I think I really only know 6 groups in totall but I mainly post about vixx, monsta x, and now ✨️seventeen✨️ (who stole my heart on a random friday).
I really wanna make carat friends and moots ;;;;;; my ask box is always open and i love chatting abt anything and everything!!!
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