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ineffectualbookseller · 8 months

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The way Azirphale is underestimated and practically infantalized by heaven is so closely tied to his femininity and I think we should talk about it more because I just want to shout about how relatable the way he's treated in his workplace is as a woman working in a traditionally male field

It's in all the little niggling comments from your boss about personal things that hold no bearing on your work

and the assumption that what you're doing must be simple if it was assigned to you

your work is trivialized

and you get these the placating smiles when you're told plans and proposals are rejected and passed over

or when your complaints are dismissed

and you get more of the same from upper management

it all feels so frustrating and draining but you're at work so all you can do is take a breathe put on that mask and move on with your day

It is all so deteimental to your emotional well being and textually, so much of this is tied to Aziraphale's softness, his gayness - his femininity

The thing about working in an environment and gives you this feeling - of being simultaneously destrought watching your belief in yourself get chipped away but also just so irate becuase you know you don't deserve it - is how it builds. It sinks under your skin and feeds into this indignant dejection until you can have a moment of release - but Azirphale doesn't get to bitch about it over drinks with friends, he doesn't get a lunch break where he can go for a walk and listen to an angry scandi death metal playlist, he doesn't even get the chance to cry about it in the bathroom for 5 minutes before confronting it again

(And I talked a little bit about it in the tags of this beautiful photoset but this all comes into play whenever Crowley dismisses his plans or calls him an idiot. These are purely emotional reactions; I really don't think Crowley means much by it - he respects Aziraphale's opinion and genuinely thinks he's brilliant - but Crowley is so quick to use this terminology when Aziraphale is making a decision Crowley thinks is wrong and he doesn't know how much this hurts Aziraphale. Just like Aziraphale doesn't understand the true impact the Fall had on Crowley, Crowley doesn't understand the ways heaven has been tearing away at Aziraphale's self worth)

Aziraphale has been facing this constant drip of denigration since before the beginning of time and has never released the pressure valve. At this point, he's a bomb waiting to go off

#(I want to note that I am coming at this from my personal experience as a woman #but I know femme neurodivergent and disabled folks of all genders face these same issues)#along similar lines I have tons of feelings about how often Aziraphale hides his hands when talking to other angels #to hide his stimming #and look I try not to tie everything back to explaning why Aziraphale ended s2 the way he did but apparently I can't #its just the juiciest character moment to me #also thinking about how angry Crowley was at Gabriel when he was treated like this once #granted shut up and die already IS the worst thing Gabriel has said to Aziraphale but if Crowley knew how much of this was going on...#aziraphale #good omens #go2 spoilers #good omens meta #Thanks to folks who responded to my tags on that post because you really motivated me to find these screen caps #and finish this post which has been sitting in my drafts for ages #also sorry so many of gabriels faces are funny I cant help that jon hamm is comedy gold - i refuse to let it undermine my point

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starry-bi-sky · 4 months

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Clone^2 Damian

If you really think about, Damian's situation in the clone^2 au is... kinda tragic? Especially in the early months of his arrival. Like,,, think about it. Damian has always known he was a clone of Damian Wayne, that he was a copy of the blood son. There was nothing 'original' about him, not even his name (of which at least Danny has that). He was just... a replacement. A disposable one, to boot.

And he knew that, to an extent, by the time he was six years old. he might not have been actively acknowledging it -- he's six years old -- but deep down he knew. And like, he's six years old. Every small child craves the love and affection of an adult, especially their parents, and even though he knew he was clone, I imagine he still considered - and still does consider, somewhat - Talia and Bruce as his mother and father. And I really doubt he was... getting it?

Now, I know Talia loves Damian, her son. At least in some interpretations she does, and in this au she does. But... a clone of her son? I'm not so certain if she would have the same affection for baby Dames as she would for Damian. I don't think she would treat him badly, but I don't think Talia would treat him warmly either. Kinda just, distant. Colder than she would have been with OG Damian.

And, I know I've mentioned Damian's arrival from Danny's point of view, and its kind of comical kind of insane from his perspective -- a little boy clone of Damian Wayne falls through a portal and immediately attacks him. That sounds like a bad joke.

But, if you think of this from Damian's point of view? It's like he just got dropped into a scary movie. Like, think about it. You're six years old, and suddenly a portal, as green and as swirling as your grandfather's pools, opens up beneath your feet and sucks you through.

After an intense bout of vertigo, you end up in a massive, urban city -- completely different from the rural mountain palace that you lived in for the last six years of your life, and in this city, you don't know any of the language. You don't know what anyone is saying, you can't read any of the signs - you are completely stranded, away from home.

And then, to make things worse, you're facing a figure with a terrifying mask and eyes as burning green as the portal you fell through. Of course Damian's first instinct, six years old, is to attack. He's terrified.

And this figure, he's not a good fighter, but he's fast, and he dodges you quickly. He grabs your sword with his hands, and tries to restrain you, saying something in a language you don't know. Naturally, Damian is just scared. He's six! He'd just be learning how to read if he was normal child going to school.

This figure halfway through the fight yanks off his mask -- he realizes you're scared -- and looking at you now, is a youthful version of your father. This is a clone of your dad, someone you have never met but, six years old, still wants to. Damian gets defensive. This is an imposter.

But this imposter eventually gets you home with him - and he's using his little box, his phone, to communicate with you through a mechanical voice speaking in arabic. and it's frustrating. The boy, the imposter, can say whatever to you just fine, but trying to talk back is a hassle and a half. He's six, he doesn't have that much patience.

He wants to go home.

And so he keeps trying to run away. He keeps trying to find out of this hellish concrete jungle, and he keeps getting lost. It's loud, and busy, and there are people talking to you and you don't understand them, and there are rules and signs you don't understand - Damian tries to cross the street and nearly gets hit by a car. He doesn't know how the road signs work, he was never taught. They didn't get to that.

And he gets lost. And it gets dark, and Damian is brave, but he is six, and this is the worst stress he's been under in all his six years of life. He wants, desperately more than anything, to go home. Why wouldn't he? The only stable... semi-stable environment he was in just got ripped out from under his feet, literally! He wants his mother.

And it's not happening.

But there's something good to be said, at least. The imposter that looks like his father always comes and finds him, no matter what. He could have left that morning, and he will find Damian at midnight, frazzled and worried, and carrying an extra jacket with him because it is cold in Amity Park and Damian is six years old.

And sometimes Damian attacks him - he's scared and stressed and he doesn't want to be here. And every time he catches the sword. Even though Damian can see it cut into his hand and pearls of blood well up and stains his fingers. Even though Damian can see him wince in pain and bite his lip, he still catches it.

But with that little box, he coaxes Damian to come back with him. It's cold, it's dark, Amity Park is unsafe at night. They can figure something out tomorrow, please. And every time, he agrees, reluctantly. And the imposter takes the extra jacket he brought with -- a flannel, a hoodie, a jacket -- and he wraps it around him. It's warm, Damian's clothes are not that thick, and even though he thinks he might hate this imposter, he still sticks close to his legs as he leads him down the street.

And sometimes the imposter carries him, because Damian's shoes are not that thick, and he cuts his foot on broken glass while they're walking home. The imposter sits in the bathroom with him and carefully cleans the cut out, and makes sure it doesn't get infected.

There's hope you know, he still has it. His mother will be looking for him. She'll be worried. He's important to them. Damian may not be the original, but he is still a blood son. He is still her son. She will come find him. This nightmare will end soon. He can go home.

And then weeks pass, and nothing. Then months, and nothing. His family is not coming for him, and it hurts. Hurts more than anything. And yet while that happens, the boy he's attacked, and hurt, teaches himself arabic in order to speak to him. He takes Damian out of the house one afternoon and buys him new clothes, or tries to. And then he keeps buying him new clothes. He gives him blankets and gives up his bed to him until they can get him one himself, and steadily he teaches Damian english.

This boy is kind. Kinder than Damian's ever experienced, and he doesn't know what to do with it. He's devastated by the fact that he is not as important to his family as his family is to him. What do you do when you're six years old and you learn something like that? When a random stranger who looks like your father is kinder to you, and cares more about you than your family did?

And then Damian tells him he's a clone. He's Damian Wayne's clone, and he tells him his purpose - that their grandfather made him to kill him. And the boy, the imposter, Damian thinks he probably already knows that he's a clone. But he doesn't say that. He just nods, and asks him if he wants to tell his original about him.

Damian says no. He doesn't want to. He's tired of living in the shadow of his original. He wants to keep this to himself. This is his. For once, all of this is his.

And to his surprise, the imposter doesn't try and convince him otherwise. He just nods, and says okay. And when Damian asks why, the imposter - his brother - looks at him and says.

"I don't care about Damian Wayne. I care about you." And in Damian's gobsmacked silence, his brother continues. He tells him that if Damian doesn't want to tell his original that he exists, then they don't need to. They don't need to worry about the LoA going after him, because clearly if his 'grandfather' needs to make a clone of Damian in order to take him out, then whatever it was that Damian Wayne was doing to keep himself safe, was working.

"Wayne already has people in his corner, he's got Gotham's army of vigilantes to keep himself safe." his brother says with his eyes as blue as moonlight. "You, however. Do not." And he continues, and says that if Damian Wayne has the same training as Damian does, then he will be fine. He doesn't need to be aware of his clone. Because if DW doesn't know about Damian, then the LoA doesn't either.

And here's the thing. Damian would not have survived in the LoA for long. Not as a clone. No matter what, he was going to die no matter what he did, and sooner rather than later. The sword of Damocles was always hanging above his head in the League of Assassins.

That portal, and meeting Danny, saved his life. There's no way around it. And to an extent Damian knows this even at six years old. He may not be aware that he would've died, but he knows that meeting Danny was the best thing to happen to him.

It's no wonder after that, that Damian is as clingy to Danny as he is. Danny is the first person he's met to offer him unconditional love, with no strings attached, only pure affection.

#dpxdc #dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #dpdc #dpxdc crossover #clone^2 #like god can you imagine how scared he must've been? how afraid? he just wants his mom - only to realize he doesnt even matter to her #dpxdc au #danny fenton is not the ghost king #this poor kid man. no wonder he latched onto danny the moment he gave up on the league like a leech. he's a six year old kid man and #it doesnt matter how smart he is or how mature he acts. he still is six years old. he still needs that validation and affection from adults #or from people older than him. and his emotional needs were just not being met in the league.#cue the song “two” from sleeping at last - some of their songs are very clone^2 honestly.#'sweetheart you look a little tired. when did you last eat? come in and make yourself right at home. stay as long as you need.'#'tell me is something wrong? if something's wrong you can count on me'#'its okay if you can't find the words. let me take your coat and this weight off of your shoulders'#'like a force to be reckoned with. am i the ocean or a gentle kiss. i will love you with every single thing i have'#'like a tidal wave i'll make a mess. or calm waters if that serves you best'#'i will love you without any strings attached'#like just. just *imagine* being in damian's shoes during all of this. he's *six* you guys. i've worked with six year olds and they're #pretty independent but they're still six. they get excited when they see their parents and they get upset when an adult is angry with them.#they're still developing their motor skills. they're still developing everything else!

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tapakah0 · 5 months

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#nonononon #not the angst #I'm not a big fan of angst if it's not a full story that I need to dig in #not happy emotions they don't give me what I need since I'm actually pretty emotionless one person and can't help this fact #EPIC #I MEAN #BATTLE #The moment when it #BOOM #All connects and BOOMS and it makes you breathless #Eats your soul #I'M searching I will find something MMMM I know there must be something quick to fulfill this need

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deadendwips · 4 months

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Dead on Main Prompt.

But it's just Jason's wedding vows on their mostly "arranged" marriage, it's a fanfic quote no one expected but it surely is the most romantic shit everyone has ever heard and Danny's crying while listening.

Anyway you can imagine the quote but personally I chose the: "I would recognise you in total darkness, were you mute and I deaf. I would recognise you in another lifetime entirely, in different bodies, different times. And I would love you in all of this, until the very last star in the sky burnt out into oblivion." - by The song of Achilles.

I don't know it just fits their vibe so well it makes me cry 'cause I want that for me.

Like... Their marriage wasn't something expected, they didn't know each other before Danny got to Gotham, but it sure was great matchmaking from their little wingman Damian. The little gremlin got their show running and after a few "accidental" encounters, a few awkward small talks, lots of chemistry and losing their mind on not being able to talk with each other like normal people do, they finnaly got to go on dates and appreciate each other and their respective interests and passions.

We got ghost courting rituals, Joker losing some limbs (and his tongue), we snowball fights as a bonding exercise with the whole family, a long engagement with slow burn (but not that slow!), someone hitting Batman on the shins for being a stuck up bitch about killing (we don't kill in this city, we only incapacitate forever time and Danny will make use of the loophole), we got sibling bonding time with hunting the city for good gifts, burning down the government of the US, leading a rebellion, saving the turtles and the planet while on it, you know... the works.

(I got to thinking [never a good thing for me lol] about this prompt because of my decent into dcxdp rabbit hole and @kuroishuuha post about Damian wanting the guy-who-doesn't-need-a-magic-flute-to-enchant-animals-and-can-bring-extinct-species-back-to-the-mortal-plane into the family by way of marriage. Can't blame the guy 'cause I woukd do the same)

#dead on main #danny fenton #danny phantom #jason todd #red hood #dcxdp #i'll not expand on this prompt not right now #there's more people i want to @ but i can't find their posts at the moment #if you know who they are please @ them #they are feeding me good ectosoup and i'm very grateful #hope you guys like the post even if it's just me rambling about all the possibilities i can fit in this bad boi of a prompt lol

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chrisrin · 10 months

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is gemstuck sollux a fusion? :0

WHAT A FITTING ASK I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF DRAWING THESE GUYS!!!

yes, yes he is.

#chris doodles #homestuck #gemstuck #hs #sollux captor #i'm obsessed with them #was talking with a friend and we have their fucking entire story and vibe built out #in an episode like jailbreak #rather than how sapphire was kinda distraught and ruby was panicked to find her #bixbite and maxixe are both collectively like “i need to get out NOW before (other one) does because i REFUSE TO LET HIM HOLD IT ABOVE ME”#“HE CAN'T ESCAPE FIRST HE'LL HOLD THAT OVER ME FOREVER”#when they both escape the screen does a split screen and we see them running to try and find each other desperately #when they do #they rush at each other calling out each other's names #slamming into each other with something half between a headbut and a hug #one mutters to the other “i saw you first” the other says “i missed you” just as quietly #holding each other's gems as they touch foreheads #and theN THEY FUSE BACK TOGETHER!!!#he has this moment where he stands there and blinks #relishing in the moment #before summoning his visor and flicking it down like “alriight. back iin fuckiing buii2ne22”#stronger than you but its blackrom #instead of fighting jasper he fights eridan because fef and eridan are kinda the first antagonists to the group #and it gives SOOO much background for what happens with erisol later (i have a whole story for that fusion planned in my head)#anyways holy fuck #yeah im insane ask me more about them

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alicent-archive · 21 days

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Alicent. Brushes. Her. Thumb. Over. Rhaenyra's. Braids. Oh. My. God.

#and her finger above and beside Rhaenyra's ear.#her other hand is probably doing the same thing. we just can't see it because this is a side shot.#and you can also see how damaged her hands are :(#I'm not sure if anyone loves me finding these “plate of corn” moments but I shall continue to do so lol.#hotd #house of the dragon #alicent hightower #rhaenyra targaryen #rhaenicent #emily carey #milly alcock #my own

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preseriesdean · 1 year

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It's cute, though. You pretending you're trying to save Sam for the greater good, when we both know you're doing it for you. You can't lose him.

SAM AND DEAN in SEASON 11

#spnedit #samdeanedit #sam winchester #dean winchester #supernatural #corespnedit #*#vicky if you see this; your ww ask made me want to go back and look at the season with positive thoughts and it really made me appreciate it #thank you for getting me back into it <3 #i can't find the words to answer in written form but <3 these are some of my favorite moments #i love their devotion and how careful they are with each other after the tumult of seasons past #i just. i love them your honor #also dean's lil smile when he looks at comatose sam SCREAMMMMM #*sde

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froganni · 24 days

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Special Delivery from Postmaster Pearl! :D I stumbled across centaur!pearl headcannons and it sounded fun to draw!

Reblogs appreciated!

#pearlescentmoon #hermitcraft #hermitblr #centaur!pearlescentmoon #pearlescentmoon fanart #my art #I am incredibly sick at the moment and can't find the og post that inspired me :C #altho it could be true tumblr search fasion being brokey #this is my first time attempting to draw a horse lol #omw to go to bed my nyquil is kicking in #froggiart

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buglaur · 9 months

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she's live

now you can see what everyones height is in my head because i refuse to download height sliders. look at ass <3

#also works on mobile btw ☝️ !!#me successfully making this is proof you can achieve anything with 500 google searches #you should see my search history #html how to put image. html how to change image size. html how to put images in a row. html how to center a row of images. html how to #their pinterest boards are disabled at the moment because i need to make them look good before i share them #and most tags don't work yet because i'm too lazy to go back through my whole blog and tag almost 2 years worth of posts 😭#going to christen it by reblogging one of those dress up your sim prompt ask games #if i can find it #and then i'm going to get completely stuck into rufus and sawyers gameplay yessss i can't wait #leaving virgils gameplay forever i think because when rufus and sawyer have a kid i'm moving him in as the babysitter #would you believe me if i told you there is 0 cc clothes in this #i've fallen in love with maxis clothing recently idk what happened to me #besides roxys boots and virgils bag its a vanilla lookbook #thank you to everyone who voted on the poll yesterday btw #even though it was 50/50 the majority of the time it was up #it ended up 60/40 after an hour tho so i went with my fav macmahon lifestages instead of young adult stages!#goodnight <3

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spiocean · 1 month

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someone: mischaracterizes Solomon or makes a hate post of him even if as a joke

me:

#I swear I'm so done with it #at the moment I think there are like ~5 people in the whole fandom that I haven't blocked lmao /j #my guy can't find peace either in canon or in fandom #obey me solomon

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skeletoninthemelonland · 1 year

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#it's me i'm the wind blowing #y'all things are a little more complicated when it comes to these two #(sits down and takes a sip from my dark blue coffee mug)#(thinks: i wish i had springtrap coffee mug)#so...#both of them have difficult pasts #both are parents trying their best on raising their children #THE THING IS #one can't let herself get too attached #while the other is still afraid all humans are the same #but at the same time. they just want to find peace and happiness #and they've found it at home #they found happiness living those very brief and mundane moments #like waking up every morning #having breakfast next to people that make you smile #making your way to school/work and seeing sunlight pass through the trees #and going home after a tough day and there are rain clouds approaching. you just know you're going to sleep well at night #this is how they heal. and in the mean time. let themselves open up to each other #I have a feeling this is gonna be a slow burn kinda thing #COUGHING REALLY HARD #ENDING THIS RIGHT HERE OKAY BYE #starbstalks #springdad au

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einaudis · 20 days

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ALL OF US STRANGERS (2023) dir. ANDREW HAIGH

#filmedit #filmgifs #movieedit #moviegifs #All of Us Strangers #aousedit #filmtvdaily #filmtvcentral #cinemapix #fyeahmovies #dailyflicks #mine*#mygifs #movies*#I can't believe this is done. and you won't believe how long it took me to make it. insane... because it's just a scene #I didn't even use different fonts. or a cool template. or transitions... it was a single scene... but look... I made captures for 10 gifs #and things kept happening and I kept finding little gestures and beautiful things and I just couldn't keep them out the gifs #I mean look at Harry and that slow realization. please look at the glow around his shoulders at the beginning #and how ethereal and out of this world he already is AND THEN when Adam says 'I found you' he becomes more... real and present!#and those eyes and the intensity of that 'you're here' and their eyes and faces and smiles and how Harry's desperate but Adam calms him dow #and his voice when he asks 'how come no one found me?' the realization that people didn't care to check on him. it screamed to my soul #I haven't stopped thinking about that scene since the moment I first watched it #honestly... I wish I could live in this scene forever #now this is a super long post and I know it won't get many notes and it was surely made before... but I needed to make this for myself...#so here it is :) I'm tired but I love it #GOD the way Harry goes full baby when Adam caresses his cheek and he SMILES LIKE THAT! AHHHHHHH!#*runs down the hill screaming*

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chirpsythismorning · 7 months

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Some of the evidence supporting Mike not being in love with El is brutal. No, but seriously.

In s3, when El's leg is injured, instead of Mike putting his arm around her waist, allowing him to take some of the weight off her injured leg, he puts his arm around her shoulder, basically having the exact opposite affect of taking the weight off of her, instead just adding more weight for her to have to carry.

Now, I’m not coming at Mike here, I’m actually coming at the writers, because this choice here has everything to do with them using this gesture to signal Mike’s lack of feelings for El, even at the expense of realism.

I say this bc any person with common sense, including Finn and everyone around him and Millie filming these shots, would've known it looked unnatural for Mike to be adding more weight onto El as opposed to taking some off of her.

This means that what Mike did here, Finn was directed to do, and therefore it was for a specific reason.

And we know they could have easily made the opposite choice, because they show us Max AND Lucas doing it.

See how putting an arm around El's waist looks so much more natural? Because homegirl is injured and clearly needs help taking weight off her leg to qualm some of the pain she's experiencing there, which is why Max and Lucas are shown here doing it the correct way.

And so, why can't Mike do the same? Why are the writers making a point to show Mike being incapable of simply taking some weight off of El, instead doing the exact opposite?

I don't think it's as deep as Mike not being able to do something intimate, and that's bc, again we see Max and Lucas doing it.

I honestly think what they're trying to convey with this choice here, is that Mike thinks he's helping El, when he is in fact doing the opposite despite his best efforts. The implications of that and how that sort of aligns with their romantic relationship and what it leads to at the end of s3, going into s4, is pretty spot on.

I do think Mike thinks he's doing the right thing by being with El instead of voicing any doubts at the end of s3, because he is under the assumption that she is in love with him. I do think he believes he is indebted to her and that this is the least he can do after everything they've been through together, which has mostly been riddled with romantic pressures and so continuing that instead of disputing it seems like the only option anyways. Not to mention, he does care for her deeply, so it's not hard to imagine that he's a teenage boy confusing deep care for love (he literally tells us this is his problem when he can only say care and not love to El's face... but that's a whole other conversation).

Still, when it's all said and done, Mike's not actually doing El any favors by being with her romantically, if that is not what he truly wants.

Because that's the sad truth about all of this, which is that you would never want someone to be with you just because you want them. If you knew that they truly couldn't have those feelings for you, you'd want to know, right? You don't deserve someone just because you have deep feelings for them. And I think there's so many layers to this idea, bc many people are capable of not giving Byler a chance bc they truly believe Mike could never return Will's feelings. Will also feels this way atp, so though it hurts, he rips the band aid off, because he would never want Mike to be with him just out of pity or something. No one would want that. And so it all really comes down to who Mike truly loves romantically and wants to be with. And the right thing to do, even if it hurts someone, is to be honest, because being with them just bc you think that will make them happy is never going to be enough if you aren't truly feeling it, or worse, feel it for someone else.

We see how Mike's inability to be honest with El at the end of s3, leads to a season of Mike feeling deeply insecure and undeserving of the love El has to offer him, and even though he does try, he always comes up short. Despite Mike putting up this front that they are the perfect couple, the details are telling us something is off. And it gives him away.

Another example that I think is very similar to this loaded gesture from Mike to El in s3, is the scene in s4 when they hug in the airport.

Common sense ppl, picture this: You're reuniting with your long distance girlfriend. Then suddenly, she runs up to you, with her arms wide open, and instead of opening your arms wide to embrace her properly, you take the bouquet of flowers you brought her as a gift, and shove them against your chest just as she approaches to hug you, effectively squishing the present you got for her (a pretty delicate present at that) for no reason other than to... what exactly?

Like?? El isn't even squishing the present Mike, she's trying to hug you, dude! Your gf is trying to hug you properly and you threw the gift you got for her in between you so you could throw in a careful! x3??

Again, this has less to do with Mike's thoughts and reasoning behind this gesture in a literal sense, and more to do with the simple fact that this is a narrative choice! Mike is not a real person! There are real people sitting down and writing this and actors are having to do multiple takes to act it out. What feels natural for a situation is going to be what is often chosen 9 times out of 10, because of realism and wanting the audience to see stuff happening that is believable. That 1 time though, when it's not being done the way it would usually be, is usually because there's a specific reason for it.!

So the question really is, not why is Mike doing this, but why are the writers having Mike do this, and what message are they trying to convey about Mike's feelings based on his behavior, in these moments where he's just not capable of committing to El genuinely, one way or another?

#byler #no but most of the gay subtext is just so like... you really didn't have to do all that?#gay subtext at the expense of realism? check #mike thinks he's helping el by not breaking her heart and just being with her despite feelings for will he can't deny #very reminiscent of mike's 'maybe you thought you were helping but you weren't. you hurt me! what you did sucks!'#i do think it would be epic too see that moment come full circle but with el saying it to mike this time #bc i'm sure el would much rather have her heartbroken finding out that mike is incapable of loving her romantically #than to find out he was with her bc he didn't want to hurt her even at the expense of his own happiness #like no one wants to have someone be with them out of pity or obligation #we want someone to love us truly and deeply and genuinely!#we see how much el struggles in s4 bc of all the hints she's getting from mike that he doesn't genuinely love her #bc that's the most important part of a romantic relationship #it being equal #and it didn't feel that way #sure she's gonna be pissed #but she's gonna be more pissed he wasn't just honest #friends don't lie obvs

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