#but also there’s so many smelly guys who work there

[foxgloveinspace]

I’ve been tired since three pm, I legit fell completely asleep on the way home from shopping, I’ve been so tired I’m cold and shaky since like four pm. Going to be only about 40 min before my normal bed time is a miracle at this point.

#very much so #ugh. I’m gonna be low spoon’s tomorrow. #I’m so tired I feel hallow #hallowed be thy ween ect #idk what I’m ducking doing #eepy. I’m eepy boi #gonna fucking. fall asleep thinking about being cuddled up to II’s side and you know what? not even gonna call myself cringe #good night y’all I know I wasn’t on a lot today but like. eh #I’ve been watching reels and day dreaming about a bike ok. I wanna gooooooooooooooo #I talked to my sister about getting a job #might go part time somewhere in town #she thought my idea of working at the elevator would be kinda fun #cause then she’ll be the only *redacted last name* who hasn’t worked there #(grain elevator btw. just google it if you don’t know what it is) #but also there’s so many smelly guys who work there #not even like smelly smelly like smelly personality too #idk #anyway. tired rambles done

[junuve]

Actually.... have I ever talked about how I think Wheatley is basically the perfect synthesis of what an average Aperture employee was?? Because he was created in Aperture, he'd likely be a reflection of their entire work culture (....moreso than the gimmicky cores we meet in portal/tie-in games). Like the scientists responsible for making him really put all their hatred of their workplace/that-annoying-coworker-they-dislike into him.

He's sooorta miserable but Fine, mostly. A tad paranoid. Kinda classist/ableist (he disparages Manual Laborers in his dialogue and like... everything he says to chell is just so Bad lmao). he's TERRIFIED of GLaDOS but still belittles her. He laughs at the turrets dying in a shredder then realizes how messed up that is and backpedals (also backpedals on his smelly humans bit, but i'll be fair and say he deserves to hate humans as much as GLaDOS does). He breaks the nanomachines' work and then has the audacity to threaten to file a lawsuit against THEM for a Hate Crime?? (which is so so funny for so many reasons but I DIGRESS) Like I don't ascribe to him being a former human employee, but also I can clearly imagine working at Aperture and talking to Wheatley by the water cooler and he's That Moderately Unpleasant Guy who is juuust adequate enough to not be fired but never Exceptional enough to promote, but most importantly, he's not clever enough to actually do anything about his shitty situation in the company. He only fucks up a little less than what is allotted. He's got charisma! Fun for a chat sometimes! But he makes ppl feel bad when they talk to him. He's not the WORST, but he for sure isn't the best. It'd be easy to convince him to commit a crime in the name of Science. (He wouldn't sell your soul for a single corn chip, he'd only sell it for a whole bag.)

Wheatley is THE Aperture employee. And this all tracks because literally what could be a worse decision than continuing to work at Aperture Science?

#portal #portal 2 #wheatley #p2 wheatley #portal wheatley #out of like the four or five aperture employees we see in canon... wheatley fits in perfectly #i love how mediocre he was created to be. thats why im obsessed. science team rly told on themselves with that one!! #thanks for coming to my tumblr where i analyze Wheatley apparently idk what this is #im not smart enough to analyze GLaDOS deeply so im here pondering the Orb #ok im done rambling bye

[kindestofkings]

sunshine baby [1]

robert keating x reader (she/her)

faceclaim: gracie abrams (ofc hahah)

authors note: hello hello! this is a really random one, I am a broken record but I am self projecting in these hence why the reader is always home friends with the boys. also theres so many time skips lol

I really home you enjoy, would really appreciate any feedback or comments yee might have <33

2020

yourusername

liked by bobbyskeetz and others

yourusername 2 months into lockdown we are playing, we are hot girl walking and most importantly we are hot girl drinking 💅

view all 20 comments

bobbyskeetz thanks for choosing the most flattering photos luv x

yourusername any time baby any time :))

yourbestfriend i miss you and your impromptu sing songs <3

yourusername no I miss you so much !! boys are really smelly sometimes 😀 yourbestfriend thats what you get for dating bobby SKEETZ bobbyskeetz heyy yourusername I know right?? bobbyskeetz HEYYYY

elijahhewson there is very little going on behind those eyes

yourusername the bulmers was very warm... and we just lost a zoom quiz

joshjenkinson_ keep our boy sane !

yourusername and whos gonna keep me sane?? whos gonna keep me alive? ryanmcmahon_15 did you put yourself on the line?

yourusername

liked by yourbestfriend and others

yourusername as y'all know I dabble with playing some piano andddd my very cool, talented boyfriend and his friends asked me to play on a few tunes for their DEBUT ALBUM. thank you for briefly employing me :))

view all 30 comments

joshjenkinson_ no thank YOU

ryanmcmahon_15 we owe you forever, this is so exciting !

bobbyskeetz as your boss can you make me a cuppa?

yourusername and your legs stopped working when?? also you're closer to the kitchen than I am rn!

bobbyskeetz they just cant take the weight of being such a musical success 😔 friend1 @bobbyskeetz how does she put up with you? bobbyskeetz shh dont make her reflect on her decisions

yourmam so proud of you chicken!!

yourbestfriend and the start of your music career is when?

yourusername oh hush you heheh elijahhewson she asks the important questions yourusername why be a musician when you can be a broke college student right 😀

yourusername posted to their story!

if the boys have zero fans, i am dead.

bobbyskeetz so extreme but I love you <3

bobbyskeetz

liked by joshjenkinson_ and others

bobbyskeetz EVEN BIGGER NEWS !!! Our greatest hits debut album is coming out on July 16th for all you beautiful people to hear. We poured our hearts and souls into this and can’t wait for you to listen . Couldn’t have done it without @theantski @thedrewmanshow @johncatlin @andrea.cozzaglio and all the other talented people who helped get this record finished.

IT WONT ALWAYS BE LIKE THIS !

view all 100 comments

bobbyskeetz ALSO @yourusername for the pretty piano playing

yourusername hushhh rn CONGRATS ON THE SUPERB album

inhalerfan1 i'm seriously so proud of you guys 💙

inhalerfan2 finallyyyy

yourmam well done boys!! huge achievement

bobbyskeetz thank you :))

yourusername

liked by yourmam and others

yourusername it is very cool and a lil strange seeing my fella on posters while im on my daily hot girl walk....

it always be wont this like is out today woooo!

view all 15 comments

elijahhewson I dont remember that photo being taken 😑

yourusername you just release your debut album you gotta celebrate! yourfriend shes just too nice, you were locked.

yourmam lovely photo, why are yee outdoors though? 😂

bobbyskeetz sure we're following covid restrictions! you're looking at four v responsible boys!! yourmam hmmm I don't know about that one now!

yourbestfriend no cause robert and sir hewson would wanna stop looking into my soul..

elijahhewson 😐😐 bobbyskeetz 😐😐 bobbyskeetz what about josh huh he's also throwin some looks yourbestfriend josh can do whatever he wants 🫶🏼 (liked by joshjenkson_ and yourusername)

yourusername oh also everyone compliment ryan on his GORGEOUS hair

yourbestfriend such a power move I adore x yourfriend ryan how does it feel being coolest member of dublin's coolest band?? joshjenkson_ so fit, is he single...?

bobbyskeetz not sure if you got the album name exactly right there..

yourusername huh I dont see anything wrong 🤔

2021

yourusername

liked by bobbyskeetz and others

yourusername the trio is back and just in time to see the boys killing it at fairview park 🔥

view all 15 comments

yourbestfriend forget about them WE are killing it

yourfriend mmhmm we slay 😤

yourbestfriend posted to their story!

when the base player with a staring problem is away, the girlies can steal his girlfriend 🤘🏼

bobbyskeetz oi oi get your feet of my dining table 😤

bobbyskeetz

liked by yourusername and others

bobbyskeetz happy birthday beautiful.

view all 50 comments

inhaler1 this is my thirteenth reason 💔

yourusername miss you rockstar!

inhaler1 miss girl who are you? and can you please accept my follow request

inhaler2 nooooooo you're taken ?!?

ryanmcmahon_15 hundreds of girls heartsbroken with the softest of soft launches haha

lewevans the spooky powers of mr skeetz

yourbestfriend FINALLY you're letting him show you off

yourusername haha this is too much please stop 🥺 🥰

inhalerfanupdates

liked by inhalerfan1 and others

inhalerfanupdates I hope its real cause I need a gun after seeing bobbys soft launch

view all 10 comments

inhalerfan1 im so sad I cant

inhalerfan2 im afraid to ask but how long do you think they've been together

inhalerfan3 i 😭 cant 😭😭 think 😭😭😭 about 😭😭😭😭 it

part 2

#bobby skeetz #robert keating #robert keating x reader #robert keating imagine #inhaler dublin #inhaler band #inhaler fanfic #inhaler imagine #smau

[ystrike1]

My Second Husband - By Goeulwon (9.5/10)

It finally happened everybody! Pop the wine bottles! Somebody finally wrote a time travel yandere story correctly! Our protagonist is a rich and spoiled modern Cinderella, who falls to her death after her life spirals out of control. Now that she's 22 and single again what will she change? Who will she chose? Also, who is following her every move?

Eunha Lee.

You should hate her. Her mom is a fashion CEO. Her dad is a capable malewife. She modeled for her mother's company for many years. She married her first love, an unsuccessful actor with debt from his deadbeat father! Their relationship goes perfectly because she has money AND shockingly Taeyang is wildly talented. He's not just a boy toy. After a couple years he no longer needs Eunha Lee's generous support. He becomes a rich husband for a rich woman and they live happily...

Hey...

That's not Eunha Lee.

It's Yura. Another model who worked under Eunha's mother. Yura is the kind of woman who thinks spoiled little girls should suffer. Taeyang has been cold lately. After he got established enough to get acting jobs without her support...well...he was suddenly less affectionate. Then she finds out her famous husband is cheating. On the news. The national news.

By the way she finds out after her beloved parents die in a car crash. They gave her everything. Love. Support. She became a lawyer because she wanted to make them proud. She wanted to be strong and independent for them, and they died. She calls her husband for days and days. He doesn't respond, and she goes to the funeral alone...and that's when news of the affair breaks.

She asks for a divorce.

She is so wrecked, sad and tired that she stands on a staircase to cry. In public.

Her legs give out, and she dies at the age of 32. Divorced and a worldwide laughingstock. The boring lawyer wife that got abandoned and left behind for a prettier model. The doormat that let her actor husband use her until she wasn't needed.

When she wakes up she's 22 again, and she's not used to dealing with...being young. She thinks everybody is way too immature and overdramatic. Especially this Sena girl here. Sena is a petite cutie with an attitude problem. She's very pure. She doesn't like to sit next to people who smoke, because they're smelly. She wants to be a romantic and devoted girlfriend, and she wants the perfect guy.

She thinks her perfect guy is Sungwoo, the confirmed yandere in this story. Sena completely and utterly embarrasses herself. She says Eunha Lee must be leading Sungwoo on. He's soooo perfect, but she refuses to date him. Sena is willing to give him all of her love and time. She harasses Eunha...but it's really not scary. Sena is a young girl who is really bad at socializing. That's all. It's not that serious.

Sungwoo rejects her several times, and he says she has no chance.

He's been in love with Eunha Lee since he was 15 years old.

He's got grade A daddy issues and lots of money. Not cute clothing shop money. Dirty money. His family fights alot about cash and power too. Sungwoo was...weird. Violent. He lashed out at other kids, and his family covered it up with $$$.

Eunha Lee reached out to him, and he finally learned how to have fun like a real kid at 15.

He's grateful.

She is his hero.

Eunha Lee hates Taeyang now. Once a cheater always a cheater. She takes the chance God has given her, and she abandons her kind of boyfriend? The story starts when they're about to go on their first date. Eunha Lee is very aggressive. She flirted with Taeyang. She's the one that made him into a confident and famous actor.

She doesn't do that this time, and he quickly gives up on acting. He starts investing in stocks. He works two jobs. In one he is a waiter. In the other...

He becomes a janitor at Eunha Lee's law school. What a coincidence! Is he obsessed? Is he a stalker? Nope!

Taeyang went back too. Now that Eunha hates him he doesn't want to he famous. He wants a stable life with money. He uses information from the future to invest, and he works two jobs to save up even more. His dad abandoned him when debt piled up. Eunha, who was his wife, has no interest in him. She stands him up when their first date rolls around. She's rude, but he can't leave her alone.

He doesn't know if he still loves her.

Did he actually cheat on her?

Nope.

A...force has been watching over Eunha Lee. A very forceful and loving force. Someone that wants Eunha Lee and only Eunha Lee to always be happy no matter what, to the point of insanity. Eunha eventually notices the presence of this force. She uses her lawyer skills to figure out who it is.

She can't accept the truth.

Sungwoo also came back in time. He and Taeyang wished for the same thing when Eunha died. They wished for her to come back. A capricious God grants their wish, but now...the two men are at odds.

Sungwoo has always been nuts, but in his first life he felt inferior. Eunha Lee and Actor Taeyang were the perfect couple for many years. Eunha was so happy. He couldn’t ruin that. He kind of caused their marriage issues...by accident? Sungwoo is the dark force behind Eunha Lee in both of these timelines. In the first he quietly got rid of things and people in the way. She didn’t notice, because she was sheltered, but Taeyang did. Being married to Eunha was crazy stressful. One bad day could mean someone gets beat up.

Sungwoo literally tortures people who harass Eunha.

In the second timeline he tries to ruin Sena's life, just because she annoys Eunha for a while.

Things escalate.

Sungwoo entraps a thug. The thug is in debt. Sungwoo says the debt will vanish if he murders Taeyang. The thug is no killer. He's just a coward. That's the only reason why Taeyang survives. Sungwoo really wants to get rid of him. Only Taeyang knows how evil he is. He can't hold back around Taeyang. Taeyang had the married life he wanted for 10 years. Taeyang is the weak point in his mask. That crack proves Sungwoo isn't as perfect as he looks. He looks like a golden boy who was reformed by love and friendship.

He is a criminal.

He starts dating Eunha in the second timeline, and he doesn’t tell her he also came from the future. He starts to gaslight her, and the story continues to amp up.

What did Sungwoo do in the first timeline?

Is that thing THE thing that broke Taeyang, turning him into a cold husband that made Eunha feel unloved?

Will Eunha end up with either of them?

All three characters have changed. They are not their young selves, and they're jaded.

Sungwoo used to think he was unworthy of Eunha, but now he's convinced that he's the only one who deserves her.

Eunha Lee was a kind, smart, but naive princess. Now she can see who her real enemies are. Before, she thought Yura was her best friend.

Taeyang wanted to be a shining star, but now he's over that and he just wants money.

Where does love fit in here????

#yandere #male yandere #yandere male #yandere boy #recommendations #recs #rec #recommended #webtoon #My Second Husband

[priceswifebb]

Ghost would crash the most, but Johnnys crashes level his car every time. Miracle they’re alive at all. And in one piece. Ghost drives a challenger, Johnny drives a mustang.

Prices car is the closest one to a beater out of all of them. The rust, weird noises and odd quirks gives it personality love, he says. His car is also an absolute nightmare to detail because he insists that the first cup holder is his ash tray and the built up pile of ash has to stay. Car smells reaaaaaal funky. Never rolls his window up to smoke. Drives an older model Camaro

Gaz’s is the newest and nicest. He’s not very messy but he always hires you to detail it. The only thing with him is his car is also his gym locker and he has so much shit in the back seat and it smells like man sweat. Will never take it out before bringing his car to your shop. Feel like he’d drive a hellcat

Sometimes they just show up and hangout in your lot to drink beer, play music loud and talk shit about whatever car you’re trying to fix at that moment (you’re scaring the clientele guys pls)

THIS!! This is so accurate!!

I feel like yes they can be annoying and dirty at times and can scare away the clients sometimes there is also a lot of pros of them being around almost 24/7.

Such as when a client is being a bit to aggressive trying to haggle you out of your original price and then you got four big burly men who are like your security and the client backs off and doesn't come back until their car is ready.

I Also think that both Soap and Gaz are huge energy drink people so every now and then you'll see a few monsters or red bulls in Gaz's car BUT soap car... you're scared of even opening his door in fear of a shit ton of old red bulls, monsters and Rockstar energy drinks cans attacking you.

It's also pretty cool because you have these men at your disposal. You can use them to pick up heavy car parts that you don't want to, just let out a sharp whistle and you got one of them or all of their attention.

Going back to Price's rank smelling car I can imagine a scenario where reader is giving his car back to him and he sees one of the car air freshener and he's like "what's this love? I dont need one." And you respond with "yes you do I'm tired of working on a smelly ass car."

Not the first time won't be the last that Soap drives to your shop with a door missing a door, a headlight broken, tires near to being smooth and a dopey grin on his face as he calls you over to assess his fucked up mustang that's running on prayers by now.

I don't know why but I can see Ghost's always having cracks or being broken and you're always confused because how hard are you racing for your windshield to be broken all the time???

Doesn't matter how many time you scold them for intimidating other clients and making fun of their cars but they ain't gonna stop they are jealous that others are taking the cute mechanic's attention.

By the amount of times they have come to your shop so you can work on their cars you who's car is who's by the way they sound.

You are silently cursing out gaz while you detail his car moving his gym bag random shit he has in his trunk also I truly believe this man has the most random things lost in the seats like once you were cleaning it out and just found a TV remote like wtf??

#cod x reader #captain john price #kyle gaz garrick #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #141 x reader #Street racer! 141 x Mechanic! Reader #gaz x reader #soap x reader #ghost x reader #john price x reader

[aurpiment]

OK, so first for this notion to work I need you to hold in your head, to rotate in your mind, the idea of a Karhidish localization or dub. A story is adopted for TV or radio in Karhide and certain details are tweaked to make it make more sense to Karhiders who’re not familiar with the many cultures of earth.

Concepts you’ve got to explain for the Aubreyad:

The napoleonic wars: big foray

A sailing vessel with a martial hierarchy: so these aren’t cargo vessels, they belong to the king or the emperor and they’re also fighting in the foray. Each vessel has a representative of the king who acts as king or emperor of the vessel. The vessels do not have an armored beak for ice, and it is punishable by death for workers to keep kemmer with other workers on board. With passengers, it’s ok, but only sometimes.

The status of women in 19th century Europe: so there’s this type of guy called a “woman” and basically his shifgrethor is not considered equivalent to that of a “man.” He does have shifgrethor but it is constructed differently. He must not keep kemmer with anyone without having vowed kemmer first. (Paradoxical, yes. Therefore the rule is not always followed—but there are social consequences to breaking it.) His financial status usually (but not always) depends on his kemmering’s status. His children are considered to belong to his kemmmering.

Stephen Maturin’s nasty fucked up wig: he needs this symbol to show people that he’s important and educated, but he’s an untidy, smelly person, so his hair-hat is in very poor condition

Jack Aubrey’s disastrous affairs: something physically wrong with him. It also makes him unable to bear children. But he’s not sad about this, because his kemmering’s children are considered to belong to him.

Stephen Maturin’s laudanum addiction: this is just a kemmerin-inhibitor. He takes it due to heartbreak. There are analgesic side effects also I guess.

Dueling: we also have this. This is the part that makes the most sense, actually.

#mt

[jasontoddssuper]

Okay so speaking as a long time fanfic author and aspiring books author,Percy works best as a trans girl from a writing standpoint and not just because she'd be extremely good rep.Percy being a cis guy who's stereotypically masculine is forced characterization because she has no reason to want to be one-She had no positive male role models growing up.There were definitely male teachers who were mean-spirited to her as much as female ones,Poseidon abandoned her and even after they met he prioritized her or at least treated her like a father who genuinely loves his daughter out of just her being his child instead obligation a grand total of zero times,Smelly Gabe is self-explanatory and Luke abused her too right from the start by gaslighting her.All she had was Sally so it's realistic that Percy would think women are better than men and not give a shit about being manly and preferring femininity

It's semi-canon that Percy has a trauma based dislike of men if we're looking at subtext-In the og series,she speaks much more positively of the girls around than she does the boys and she actually trash talks the latter while using being hypermasculinity as an insult,such as implying Ares is ugly multiple times.And one of the three male friends she has vs being friends with almost every girl in her age range?Nico,Pjo's first canon mlm.This just absolutely screams 'baby gays spotting eachother without either knowing they're not cishet yet' and it's only added on to by how devoted they are to eachother despite the problems in their relathionship.Plus,just sayin',but the explicit reason Nico got over his crush on Percy is that she wasn't a traditional male hero like he thought she was

On similar note,Rachel is a lot like many irl lesbians and her and Percy remain besties after their break up and the first point applies to Reyna too,who liked Percy and likewise after taking away the posibility of romance to their dynamic,they remained great friends and it's a common tgirl experience to still be close to all your ex girlfriends in a platonic way post-egg cracking.Percy reminds me so much of so many of my trans woman friends in tons of ways and i've seen others say the same and back to my first point,the logical conclusion to Percy hating having to be a man who's super masculine is to make her a woman who's super feminine so she can be happy so this all comes full circle

And onto specifics for the Pjo storylines and developments,Percy gains even more depth if she's a trans woman.A self admitted former 'troubled kid' who just wants to be normal but is always getting shoved into a role she dosen't want by people who think they know better than her despite barely knowing her,Luke's fixation on targeting younger girls can be told as a feminist tale by having her the hero of the prophecy instead of him and also be the one to kill him to avenge her female friends and you cannot tell me that the idea of the protagonist of one of the best children's books series out there being a trans girl who's got bad social skills,anger issues and merciless tendencies but never gets demonized for them,is the funniest person in the whole franchise,hyperfemme too and the fucking daughter of Poseidon isn't based as all fuck

She would also help Annabeth's character development by teaching her to not be a pick me anymore and Annabeth would thank her by teaching her to be more self-confident,Nico and her would've become found siblings and Nico and eventually Hazel could've even been adopted by Sally because of it,her transfemininity would've changed the angles of her dynamics with the gods to make them make more interesting,we could dive into how Pjoverse greco-roman mythos play into transgenderism and other types of queerness,Percy's already canon present Team Mom habits and hinted love for cute and 'kiddy' things would be used to their full potential like they deserve,it opens to door to an even more interesting potential romantic dynamic with Jason and there's definitely way more

I'm not sure how to end this so i will make a /hj:Percy Jackson is a female protagonist of all time

#percy jackson #persephone jackson #black percy #latino percy #bi percy jackson #aspec percy jackson #autistic percy jackson #mdd percy jackson #b///pd ptsd and depression too #poseidon(deragotry) #anti luke castellan #antilukercy #sally jackson #nico di angelo #nico and percy #rachel elizabeth dare #lesbian rachel elizabeth dare #reyna avila ramírez arellano #reyna is a lesbian #annabeth chase #jason grace #jercy #t4t jercy #group:yes when i'm with you i'm at home #ocean girl and wise guy #nico percy and hazel #the second argonauts #trans women #💌 #letters from summer

[zoeykallus]

Let’s do something different.

Having all of the batchers together ( not separated, but you can if you want) react to their new companion who’s really supportive and appreciative of all of them. And tries to be helpful and appreciative by doing things for them. Sorting out budgeting , cleaning the ship, fixing any thing that she can, doing laundry, watching Omega, and even cooking for them.

The reader knows the batch fail to see the things they does but doesn’t say anything because they doesn’t feel like they deserves to be in a team if they can’t fight like them. Omega notices ( of course) and talks to the batch about them. Making them realize and go for an apology and comfort them about it.

Let me try :)) Sorry you had to wait so long!

The Bad Batch x Reader Short One-Shot - How About Some Gratitude

Warnings: None

__________

Since you're traveling with the Bad Batch, you're really just cleaning up after the guys. The shuttle was a smelly disaster and the guys rarely had fresh laundry ready after the refresher. Since you joined, that has changed. There's always fresh linens and bedding, the floors and surfaces are clean, and it's nowhere near as smelly. You also always make sure all the personal care products are replenished regularly. Basically, the guys don't have to do anything anymore except their actual job.

They don't exactly show gratitude or too much respect for all that you do for them. You pick up dirty laundry from the floor every day, because the boys still leave everything where they stand and go. On top of that, Wrecker, for example, is in his bunk and regularly messes everything up; Tech often gets into bed in full gear and scribbles on the walls of his bunk.

Hunter regularly drags dirt from his scout missions into the ship without at least roughly patting his clothes off outside first. Sometimes the men were like ill-bred little boys. Every once in a while, this behavior bugs you, especially because no one seems to see how much work you put into keeping the shuttle and laundry clean, how much effort you put in, so the guys really only have to focus on their missions.

One night you want to go to bed like everyone else, but you already see the guys leaving their clothes where they take them off, in the middle of the floor between the bunks, and you grit your teeth, you had cleaned everything up a short time before. With the exception of Crosshair.

You run through the corridor and collect all the clothes to put them in the laundry basket, so you could wash them the next day. The guys see what you're doing, but no one says anything. But then you hear someone clearing their throat.

Omega peers out from behind the curtain of her little room at the gunner seat.

"Are you serious? Hey guys!"

The men look up from their bunks, confused.

"What's going on, Omega?" asks Echo.

"Look around, look what Y/N is doing right now".

The men exchange glances, but no one says anything.

Omega says sourly, "Remember what the Marauder looked like when Y/N wasn't with us? How many times you guys ran out of soap? Or how many times you didn't have anything clean to wear when you came out of the refresher? Or how dirty the floor was? Or how many times you ran out of toothpaste?"

Hunter scratched the back of his head, already knowing where this was going and feeling a little ashamed. Crosshair, however, remained leaning back in his bunk.

"How about some gratitude for once," Omega grumbled.

Echo said meekly, "Sorry, Cyar'ika, we really should be more appreciative and try harder."

Omega nodded, "Indeed!"

You smiled in satisfaction, at least it hadn't completely escaped their notice.

Everyone took turns thanking you, here and there was a little kiss on the cheek or the head and a hug, only Crosshair stayed put.

"Hey, what about you?" asked Wrecker, nudging him.

Crosshair growled, "I always put my laundry in the hamper, not on the floor, I thanked them every time they brought me fresh laundry and even helped them clean the floor sometimes. Y/N knows I appreciate the effort. I'm the only one here who cares about cleanliness and hygiene, besides Y/N."

Hunter looked at you and said, "We will be more considerate in the future, I promise."

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310

@misogirl828 @tech-deck

@meshla-madalene

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@either-madness-or-brilliance

@ortizshinkaroff

#one-shot #star wars #tbb #bad batch #asks #requests #hunter #echo #wrecker #crosshair #tech #tbb fanfiction #crosshair tbb #echo tbb #hunter tbb #star wars tbb #sw tbb #tbb crosshair #tbb x reader #tbb x you #tbb echo #tbb hunter #tbb fic #tbb headcanons #tbb tech #tbb wrecker #tech tbb #wrecker tbb #hunter bad batch #echo bad batch

[sinistergooseberries]

This Melodious Rain(it's all you)

This is a re-release because my chapter has finally been edited by the darlingest of betas @the-life-support-system

shoutout to jamie everyone

***

Chapter 1

Meera's POV

You might ask me how the fuck did it come to be like this.

I'm sitting in one of the many pews of the most beautiful church I have ever seen. The girl I love is getting married to some guy at the altar, who waltzed into our lives without permission.

Lisa looks like she is about to cry. I wish to comfort her, but she has already denied my companionship. Why in the ever-loving hell would she want my comfort? 

She has chosen her path, and I can't do anything about it.

Why does it feel so stuffy in here? There are air conditioners but it feels like I'm about to puke.

I look at them and I hate them. I hate her. I hate the guy, I hate this love that had to blossom in my heart for the most unavailable person and I hate myself for beginning to want to be the person taking her veil off even after everything. 

Yet, I'm not able to take my eyes off her. It's like every movement of hers pulls me like a magnet. I love her and she loves me too, because I can see her watching me from the corner of her eyes. But she has made her choice.

That is us. We are better off when we don't have to face anything.

*********

The evening of her graduation and the morning after it would always be a memorable period for Meera. Not because she graduated from some godforsaken engineering college, or because she had finally got an assistant director's job under Suresh Prabhakar (though that was one of the top contenders), but something else.

She had gone to Suresh Prabhakar's set, had been introduced by Krishna, the guy with the connections who was her senior from her college and had rigorously tried to learn everything that was to be learnt.

She had come back home a few hours ago. She was lying on her bed, the little script book clutched to her chest. It was the best feeling. She’d been lying like that ever since she came back home at 9 o’clock. She couldn’t sleep at all. She checked the time using her phone. It was 4:20 a.m.

The room was too stuffy, too small for the big things she felt at that moment. She had to step out. She sat down on the wicker chair in their balcony, looking down at the quiet street of their neighbourhood. They lived on a residential street, and one could seldom see vehicles passing through this place. Sometimes you could hear the ghost of a honking car if you were lucky.

She was swept away by her dreams of making big in film, when she heard the gate open. It was 4:30 in the morning. Why would anyone be entering the house at such an ungodly hour?

She peered closer over the edge of the railing. It was...a woman.

Ah. Not a robber. It was the daughter of their tenants, the Palackals. Her father had mentioned something along the lines of someone from downstairs working a midnight shift. She had thought it was the uncle, not the daughter.

3 months ago, a Kerala family had come to rent their ground floor house. A contact of her father who was also a contact of the uncle showed the family to the house. Talks had gone down and finally the downstairs house had been rented. Most of the time, the families avoided contact with each other due to the language and culture barrier experienced throughout the first month (the interaction being just the parents), but Meera knew a few details here and there. They were a family of four - the parents and a sister and a brother - Christians and very, very fond of meat. The last one was ascertained by the fact that every time the aunty cooked, the smells wafted upwards and they had to shut their windows and doors when they cooked a particularly smelly dish. They would give a little bit of their curries every time they cooked though (not the beef, of course). Meera and Veena liked them enough, her parents did not touch them. The aunty was nice about it, so perhaps that was what made the peculiar dishes tasty. Athididevobhava: after all.

She had never seen the siblings' faces though. She wanted to say hello, but she wondered if the other woman would be startled by a rando saying hello to her in the midst of the night. In spite of that, her curiosity did not dampen even a little bit. Why would it? A normal landlord wouldn't go 3 months without knowing the face of their tenants.

Perhaps god had heard her wish, because as she peered from the railing, the woman looked up.

Oh, boy.

Her curly black hair fluttered in the light breeze that seemed to pass by just at that moment. Her dark skin shone with little beads of perspiration above her upper lip. Her beautiful, dark brown eyes twinkled in the little bit of sunlight that came through. She clutched her Bisleri water bottle as she looked up.

Their eyes met. Shrouded in the morning mist, the woman raised a subtle eyebrow.

At four-thirty in the morning on a random Tuesday, Meera had come face to face with the goddess Usha.

Meera tried to adjust the way she looked, knowing it was all in vain. She had got out straight from bed and looked as sweaty and weird as she felt.

The goddess looked radiant. She didn't know how it was possible to look flawless on a night-shift, but this woman achieved it.

Meera felt like she had to take a picture of this.

And so she did.

"What the fuck" came out of two mouths (one of them her own) in two very different tones.

#this melodious rain (it's all you) #this really feels like something i want to commit to ngl #little bubbles are popping in my head with ideas in them #like yk those fleeting images and stuff? yeah those ideas #anyways i hope everyone has fun reading this #!!!

[navarice]

Finished the first two episodes of Percy Jackson and oh my gods SO MANY THOUGHTS that I simply must share it all. First thoughts foremost is that the cast did wonderfully! CHB and the chosen trio make the world of PJO come alive and it's just chef's kiss. I can't wait for the next episodes to see what they will bring. WARNING: Spoilers under cut.

They changed up some stuff from the get-go, but the initial monologue survived!! Percy is not Percy without "Look, I didn't want to be a Half-Blood."

MAMA JACKSON IS A SLAYYY. "How do you know those who are heroes are heroes and those who are monsters are monsters." YES TY THIS IS WHAT MY FEMINISM NEEDED!!!

The Fruit of the Loom underpants on Mr. Minotaur from the mythomagic cards is an absolute serve.

Grover!!! Mr. Brunner!!! Mrs. Dodds!!! Nancy Bobofit!!!!

Uncle Rick I see you right there hehe.

SMELLY GABE OMG. Love how he's still just a pathetic loser. I can see why they scaled back on the abuse from the books.

Olivia Rodrigo??? Sally Jackson is THAT girl fr. Disgustingly real of her. I can see why Posideon was down real bad. My Spartan Princess Queen Warrior Mother shined when she schooled Gabe (basic white trash).

MONTAUK UGH PAIN. Early visions of Charon were also a great addition. The pacing of the show is really standing out but I really appreciate how they hit the important points.

SALLY DISTRACTING THE MINOTAUR WITH THE JACKET OH WOW SO BADASS!!! She is just as brave as her son and I loved the shift in narrative between the two.

ANNABETH WHOOP THAT IS EXACTLY HOW I ENVISIONED HER SAYING THAT LINE

oh...wow... it's camp....it's THE camp...my childhood...my cabins....the amphitheater...my home...

Mr. D is so different haha and tbh all I see is Pimiento from B99

Love the intense lore drop there Luke, it definitely leaves enough room for plot, exposition, and character arc.

Whoever the guy next to Luke is, he is my spirit animal

CLARISSE IS SOOO COOL I'M ON HER SIDE FOR WHATEVER SHE WANTS TO DO

PERCY LOVES HIS MAMA SO MUCH I LOVE THEIR BOND AAAAHHH. I also love the early hints of disliking the gods and percy's sense of duty

Forgot to mention Grover and his dryad mama?? caretaker?? whatever the case he is so cutie and baby. AND SUCH A GOOD FRIEND/PROTECTOR

Annabeth is Annabething for SURE

CAPTURE THE FLAG

PERCY DICKING AROUND PLSS IT"S SO HIM

these kids are so good at doing their own stunts love a good sword fight

"I'm sorry" *pushes you in the water* (loved the satisfied look on Annabeth's face bc she sure as hell knew what she was doing, and her hunch was right!!!)

"I'm the son of Sally Jackson" YES YOU ARE BABY BOYY. Amazing callback to the story of Perseus and Danae, once again calling back to the bond between mother and son rather than the hero himself.

Percy's character is cemented early, this boy is motivated only by his family and friends, not the gods themselves, absolutely made the magic WORK.

Next episode prophecy???

Overall, this is the adaptation we've all been waiting for. I've never experienced happiness more. Season 2 release when?? HOO adaptation when??? Pls give the whole 9 yards and more

#SEE YALL NEXT WEEK #pjo #percy jackson #also #reading the book simultaneously and #ALL THE PLOTHOLES ARE FILLED #fighting for glory is so quintessential in classic mythos im #SCREAM

[doberbutts]

Honestly it's so baffling to me when people on this website claim that Misandry isn't real or men are all privileged oppressors and etc.

Like... I've been on this website for MANY years and I see, on a daily basis:

Jokes about how all men are awful at sex, don't know where the clitoris is, don't know where women urinate from, etc.

Jokes about men having small penises, being gross smelly neckbeards, and other types of body shaming

Posts about how men are all evil, violent rapists or that they will assault or rape someone with no hesitation if given the chance

Posts about how men are pedophiles, groomers, etc. for being interested in children's media or cartoons

Posts making fun of men for having "childish" hobbies like building legos, playing video games, etc.

Posts listing off dangerous, creepy things men do and the entire list is just different symptoms/signs of mental illnesses or learning disabilities

Literal posts about how men should all be eliminated/killed

I could go on and on. I almost lost one of my male friends to suicide because he had severe depression and started hating himself because EVERYONE was constantly reblogging posts about how awful/dangerous/evil men were.

Men DO face problems due to their gender, especially POC, trans, MLM, etc. men. They have basically zero resources if they're victims of abuse/assault/rape and in some places aren't even legally recognized as rape victims, are seen as disposable and not in need of protection and forced to do dangerous jobs, not to mention police violence against male minorities.

It's just so upsetting. I just wish people would be nice to each other and I don't understand why people act this way. It's not a black-and-white issue of "This group is full of dangerous monsters who need to be eliminated, and this group is full of innocent poor abuse victims and there is no nuance at all".

I'm sorry for ranting in your inbox about this, it just upsets me so much.

And, the problem is, some of these things are well earned by men who refuse to do better.

An ex of mine admitted sometimes he had a hard time finding the clit on past encounters with others and funny enough when I was like "bro how it's RIGHT THERE" he was like "stfu yours is HUGE it's unmissable ok of course I could find yours it's the first thing I saw when you took off your clothes they're not usually that big" which is how I got the first hint that I'm intersex. And in fairness some people are just very small- a trans guy I know has occasionally struggled when in an encounter with someone pre-T or no-T and it's effectively microscopic because that's just how that person's body works.

But I've also known cis men who genuinely think girls pee out of their vaginas [again, in fairness, lack of sex ed due to conservative christian upbringing + cis men do in fact pee out of their sexual organ so it's not that big of a logical leap to make], who don't understand literally anything about menses [again, all emissions from a penis are more or less controllable + the concept of uncontrollable bleeding from a penis for a week straight would have most guys in the ER + lack of sex ed], "what size pussy you wear" type dudes [which, again, for all penis-equivilant things, knowing the size does matter]... as well as women who are unsatisfied by their partners' performances and yet refuse to tell them.

I'm not on tiktok but one crossed my dash of a black guy saying he had no idea that when girls put their hands on his abdomen while he's having sex with them, it's because he's hurting them and they're trying to push him away, because of the angle there's just no leverage to actually push. He thought it was encouragement to go harder. His current partner explained it and he immediately felt so terrible thinking back on all the times he's unknowingly hurt someone for his pleasure. Communication is a two-way street, how was this man supposed to improve if his partners are not communicating "when I do this I want you to stop because you're hurting me"?

Yes, some men are just allergic to giving their partners pleasure, and are inherently selfish in bed. But, also, I myself have hard lines I draw and I'm not willing to cross them even if my partner really wants me to. And some of these lines *are* acts that are very common to find in most bedrooms. Again, communication- is he actually allergic to eating pussy because he thinks vaginas are inherently disgusting outside of when his dick's inside one and he doesn't think girls can orgasm, or is he just incredibly turned off by that act but is more than willing to experiment in other ways to bring his partner pleasure? One of these guys is a pissbaby and the other is just a dude with a boundary.

Big sigh.

Now that I am around men, cis men, more often, I find that like in everything there's nuance and perspective.

[charlidos]

In celebration of the minor reunion taking place this weekend, here are my favourite bits from the Fellowship reunion on zoom in 2020.

Firstly, that "oh no my boy, no no" impression of JRD from Viggo. Viggo says it with so much fondness. Both for JRD and Orlando.

Secondly, Sean B asking "as people?" and Dom saying "no, as gasses" - is just as funny everytime I hear it. It's so weird and off-beat. And Sean's question is so strange yet completely serious. Hilarious.

Thirdly, Sean A being boring and his zoom freezing - they are such a boyishly cruel gang, they love to tease mercilessly, obviously.

Fourth, Ian calling Orlando an "easy boy recliner". Not sure what to make of that really. It's a joke, obviously, but is it also a dig (or hint?) at Orlando? Is Ian implying he was "easy"? Someone one would want to "recline" on, being such a pretty boy? It's such a seemingly random segue from the story Viggo was telling about JRD, I find it intriguing. Particularly since it's from Ian. (And maybe Ian just thought Orlando was very, very easy on the eyes...)

It made my mind go off on a tangent and think of this old interview with the hobbits:

Premiere: Dom, weren’t you telling me that there was a real ‘boys club’ during the filming of the movie? Dom: Yeah, how there were no women there. Elijah: Well, Cate Blanchett came over. Billy: And Orlando, who’s quite feminine, was there. Elijah: Yeah, he was kind of the girl of the group, wasn’t he? Billy: He was a bit of the bitch. Dom: He would tidy up for us. Billy: We had parties, and we’d dress him up in a apron. Dom: And he would have to clean up afterward. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be invited to the party. (Bloom, who dubs himself “an honorary hobbit” and who, by the way, denies he wore an apron. “Maybe in their wet dreams,” he says. “They’re suffering from elf envy. But it’s hard when you’re three foot six”)

The Fellowship seems to have (had) a slightly harsh, very boyish kind of jargon going, where they tease each other mercilessly (probably due to being too many smelly guys in one place for too long, like an all-boys school, or the military service). So, these comments probably don't mean more than that. But together with that "easy boy recliner" comment, I kind of get the feeling there might have been a particular kind of teasing, directed at Orlando. And I wonder why? Was it just about Orlando being the prettiest, prissy elf? Was it just that famous elf-envy?

The female cast was only there off and on, after all, so maybe Orlando, in their absence, got cast in that "role"? I always get the feeling that young Orlando was quite nervous about his first role (and so working hard), very jittery (from being ADHD, as O says himself), very open and thus quite vulnerable. I get the feeling he didn't quite fit in, he seemed to hang with the hobbits (who were a tight unit), work very closely with Viggo (and Sean B - both older than O), but perhaps not really belonging with either. They were obviously a good group of people who were and are very fond of each other, but maybe Orlando just didn't really have his own group within the group. And so got teased more?

(Except, of course, how O, in my mind, was very close with V. As a devoted disciple or as something more. That would most likely have affected the dynamic of the whole group... And led to more teasing. And yes, I know drawing farfetched conclusions...)

#orlando bloom #viggo mortensen #lord of the rings #the fellowship of the ring #ian mckellen #lotr cast

[peacheenie]

thinking a normal amount about animals and beasts (click images to read better ig)

think it would b rly funny if, in just a real ass life situation, these two totally normal lookin dudes who work on the subway lines just have the most whack ass pets and will happily go volunteer at the local vets/animal wellfare places and work with like scorpions and crabs and shit. 

they take elesa back to their flat for the first time and she looks at the floor as something scurries past and shes like “what the hell was that” and ingo just bends down and scoops a whole bearded dragon off the floor like “this is my son haxorus :]”

they WOULD also keep other animals at home but they dont want to cause any problems by having so many different species in one flat so instead they just turn up to the places they volunteer like “how is my baby doing?” and the ppl there are like “oh archeops? he wont stop screaming today but otherwise hes fine” and theyre like “ah yes that sounds about right”

think as the basis everyone would expect emmet to be a dog guy and ingo a cat guy but in reality its emmet likes all the animals (ofc) but has his few favourites whilst ingo will literally hang out with anything. if you have a dog/cat then hell yes he wants to pet it. if you have a crab hell yes he wants to hold that thang. you say you have a pet rock??? fuck yeah lets pretend to give this thing a snack there is no bias he just loves beasts.

emmet keeps trying to get rid of a trashbag of pappers they have sitting near their door for disposal but ingo keeps bringing it back in (because its not smelly or anything and the creases kinda look like a face emmet) like “what are you doing this is our good friend garbodor” and emmet wants to throttle him

#submas #au #as much as real ass life can be considered an au #subway bos singo #subway boss emmet #pokemon #text post #long post

[dangerously-human]

I know everyone always talks about acts of service as a love language with the Lockwood & Co bunch, and of course I see it but I'm not convinced it's first choice for all of them. Pondering this subject kept me up for an absurd amount of time last night, so here, presented for your consideration:

Lucy prefers to show and receive love as quality time. This requires a degree of vulnerability and honesty that contributes to early tension in her relationship with Lockwood, of course. We see it early in the show with Norrie; in the books, the sister she maintains any sort of warmth with is the one who's around most often. It's most obvious with Lockwood, of course, as evidenced by the things that show their relationship deepening: the way Lucy particularly enjoys cases or evenings at home when it's just her and Lockwood, their first journey to the Other Side, the two significant walks together in The Empty Grave (the cemetery and the one we don't get to see, post-necklace). I think this makes a lot of sense for someone who didn't grow up being Seen or particularly wanted; quality time shows Lucy that she is worth knowing and understanding and actively choosing to be around.

George's is absolutely acts of service, no doubt. From the little things like cooking what he knows his friends enjoy, to his insistence on having enough time to research a job to make it as safe for them as possible, he's a guy who puts more stock in actions than words. I do think he's a bit into the gifts thing with Flo, though, and that would probably increase over time - starts with licorice, naturally, and sort of works its way up from there.

Kipps is also thoroughly acts of service, and this is part of why it's so agonizing for him to lose his Talent, because he can no longer protect the people he cares about in the way he's most accustomed to.

Flo I don't think we have as much textual evidence for how she loves, though with her job, gifts would be a natural one, and we know she deals in a currency of licorice and favors. Obviously, the many massive ones she does for Lockwood, despite them going against her personal code, or for George, with apparent benevolence, acts of service for her, too. I also headcanon that touch is a big one for Flo, primarily on the receptive end - precisely because she's spent all this time cultivating a bristly exterior (not to mention grimy and smelly) that seems specifically designed to ward anyone off from getting too close, but we know that's exactly the effect of her ghost-trauma. And George, sweet, all-in, nonjudgmental George, would be the one to see past that exterior, so once she trusts him enough for a hug, they're bound for life.

At first glance, Holly seems like a natural choice for acts of service, but actually I don't think that's really a strong love language for her, that's more by role and habit, you know? No, for Holly, I actually think touch is a big one (though maybe not the biggest - our POV character doesn't particularly like her for most of her time in the story, remember, so we wouldn't be likely to see as much depth, naturally). But I think of Holly grabbing Lucy's hand when she's especially scared and finding comfort in that, and the animosity override required, and I figure that had to be pretty important to her. I'm open to suggestions here, though.

And Lockwood... I know we all remark upon it constantly, but good grief, this boy is so overflowing with love, where to even begin? Obviously there's the acts of service, he's hardworking and self-sacrificing to a fault and he'll do anything to protect his people - but it's words of affirmation I think is primary for him. Think of his constantly expressed admiration for his team, all those casually dropped whammies he lays on Lucy in particular, the way he seeks and thrives on praise. Of course, you can't discount gifts, either - think of the tie he intentionally wears to win Lucy back, the spirit-cape (mostly the second time, but, I am counting the first at least somewhat, even though it also falls under acts of service), and who could forget the necklaces? Plus, I think touch took him a bit by surprise, but all the hand-holding is hard to ignore; and for the show, you've got his obvious "not like this" dilemma when Annabel!Lucy cups his face, or the way he grounds himself in grabbing hers while he's spiraling after the undercover DEPRAC officer sacrifices himself for them; and then, moment of my heart, in The Creeping Shadow, when he's sharing the cape with Lucy and clearly having A Moment about being this close to her (beloved dork).

#personal #lockwood & co

[tony-the-tigers-juicy-armpit]

what's up with young queers being into astrology? i have never understood it but it seems like so many of us are into it and actually believe it, so uh i ask. you, the astrology queer zoomer

"zoomer" i am 23 lol but anyway i'm into it because - first of all - i think it's real. second of all, even when/if i don't think it's real, it's sort of like tarot cards in that it can prompt you to think in a new way, give you insights into the psyche and junk. me personally i can be verry woo-y in my understanding of the world and astrology is a good and cool framework for that. it also aligns with my personal experiences.

that's just me, but i think the reason a lot of under-25 queers are into astrology is that it serves cunt. actually let me go into that now that i'm thinking about it.

astrology - and i'm writing this operating on the belief that it's real - is ineffable, like the weather. if all feelings and events are determined by the skies above then there is certainty that even if things are pure shit, they will be good again. even if there is terrible, horrible injustice, you can calculate the planets and predict when it'll be okay. and in reverse, when the good times arrive, astrology tells you that they'll be bad again, and it stops you from being under the delusion that happy times indicates smooth sailing from now on. astrology gives you the opportunity to shore up for the bad shit. of course that resonates with queer people, and young ones in particular! our lives are so fucked, and being young is so fucking confusing, especially for people even younger than me.

astrology is also a good litmus test for other people. for me personally, i don't take astrology that seriously when it comes to my relationships with other people. like, if i were looking for a roommate i would accept or reject them based on an actual conversation rather than sending them off instantly based on their star sign. but i find that people who belittle astrology, make fun of it, do that thing where they're like "haha i told you a fake sign" - like thanks, now i know you're a smelly asshole that's gonna shit on the things i like. this is my theory on why a lot of women are into astrology, because guys have such a clear reaction to it. i don't mind when people (like you user ghost-orion) think astrology is silly or a red flag, what's important is that you aren't an asshole about it.

tl;dr: astrology is a multi-pronged tool that works as a method of self reflection, a framework for understanding the world, and a practical vetting characteristic.

it serves cunt.

[davidstortebeker]

Taking Care of Business 3 – Methane Digesters

In my previous issues of Taking Care of Business I discussed how human feces can be composted aerobically in dry composting toilets, and also how flush-toilets can be made sustainable. Today I want to look at another alternative, the Methane Digester.

Methane? The greenhouse gas exacerbating climate change?

That's right. Letting organic matter decompose without the aid of oxygen produces methane, a flammable gas known for its distinct smell. We don't have to go too far to experience it, as this anaerobic decomposition may happen right in our bodies, where our intestines form an air-tight container to the decomposing organic matter. These farts that occasionally build up and escape in smelly clouds accompanied by the sound of the leather saxophone, are so benign that they're hardly worth the mention... in our species. (If it happens on a regular basis, there may be some digestion-related problem on hand. Otherwise you may laugh it off, or light it on fire for more laughs.)

In case of cattle, however, the emitted methane is more significant, due to their digestive mechanism, as well as larger sizes. Still, all the cows in the world are relatively low methane producers compared to the fossil fuel industry, especially with such innovative methods as fracking. And then there is the methane escaping from thawing permafrost, leaving huge craters behind. Since methane is a greenhouse gas, just like carbon-dioxide, this recently released result of ancient fermentation is both a cause and an effect of climate change.

image source

So How Can You Use This Gas?

By burning it, of course, just like propane, butane, or any other burnable gas. The idea is, if we are going to cook on a gas stove, it may as well be something that doesn't need to be mined from finite resources. Fermenting organic material in an oxygen-free space is not that hard, especially since our bodies already produce sufficient amounts of the needed raw material. It just needs to be fermented a bit further.

The Things I've Seen...

I have come across two impressive cases of methane digesters I'd like to present here. One is noteworthy for its simplicity, the other for its efficiency. Although both rely on animal rather than human excrement, the variability between these two examples suggests a lot of leeway for experimentation. The designer of one of these systems even said he could imagine it feasible to produce cooking gas for a high-rise apartment building, by fermenting the human wastes of its residents. Sounds exciting, though I still need to see such a system in action... But let me start introducing the simple digester:

The Best Thought-out Pig Sty

This setup was designed by a farmer, rancher, gardener, and tinkerer in Costa Rica. Even though he'd never even heard the term Permaculture, his design closes many loops beautifully. It's an ingenious way to combine corn, pigs, methane, and the kitchen stove.

I was quite amazed to see how clean the pig sty was. Of course, the guy pointed out, it gets cleaned three times a day, every time the pigs are fed. I first thought that was ridiculous, but he explained the reasons for this unusual practice. First of all, the pigs appreciate a clean floor (good for them). Also, it only takes about five minutes to hose down the slanted floor, and sweep all excrement with the uneaten corn-meal into the gutter on the lower end of the sty, so work wouldn't accumulate. Most importantly, though, he didn't want the pig excement to start fermenting in the open air.

All the slush washed into the gutter passed into a concrete basin, covered airtight by a black tarp. There it would sit, and be slowly decomposed by anaerobic bacteria, who as a byproduct generated methane. This gas stayed trapped under the black tarp, only a safety valve on top allowed excess pressure to escape. From there a pipe ran straight into the kitchen, where it was hooked up to a pair of burners. Using it was as simple as any gas stove.

The water that carried the material from the pigsty flowed through the digester, and came out as a brown colored, nutrient-rich effluent. This was further diluted with water and used to irrigate the corn, which eventually became pig-food. The circle was closed, the corn grew like crazy, the pigs enjoyed a clean sty and literally more food than they could eat, and nobody had to pay for the kitchen gas. Simple, easy, and at perfect scale. The family of six did most of their cooking that way, except for certain delicacies that required wood fire.

Efficiency in a Less Suitable Climate

Costa Rica, where temperatures are fairly stable all year round, even in the mountains, is the perfect place for this sort of setup. The digesting bacteria don't like sudden changes in temperature, which would affect their population, and thus their efficiency at fermenting. The other digester, however, was in the high desert of New Mexico, where outside temperatures would normally fluctuate between freezing at night and sweltering in the daytime. So how did its designer make it work? By thoroughly insulating it at night, and opening up the insulation to absorb the daytime heat. Also, he was living in an earthship-inspired home, which added to the temperature regulation.

The other thing about this amazing setup was that he hardly had any animals to produce fermentable material for him. About 10-15 chickens and a dog was all there was. A daily trip to the chicken coop provided a scooped dust-pan full of chicken manure, with ample feathers, straw, chaffs, and such bedding material. The latter part was important not only for its carbon-rich nature, but for the added surface area, which bacteria would populate. All this was washed down a modified garbage disposer, turning everything into a homogeneous slurry, and added into the digester. Unlike the owner of its Costa Rican counterpart, he didn't want to waste even a bit of excess gas. So with help of a compressor, powered by a wind turbine, the gas was concentrated into a big round container, previously used for storing propane. And of course, the effluent from this digester was also used to fertilize plants. Thus, he covered all the cooking needs of his 1-2 head household. Impressive for his location, and with only a dozen chickens!

sources: 1, 2, 3, 4,

#biogas #methane digester #fermentation #cooking gas #diy #permaculture #off grid