#but a part of me says thats just cuz everyone else deserves it and i dont

[princsstwilightsparkl]

saying "if aroace people can date, then can lesbians date men?" is absolutely aphobic narrative btw!

#sorry just have to say this lol #so tired of people generalizing all aroace people as romance averse #its absolutely erasure of the rest of the spectrum #the top tweet isnt so bad depending on who theyre talking about #if a character ACTUALLY is canonically romance/sex aversed then yea its weird to erase that #but if they're canonically AROACE and you go 'erm that character cannot date or have sex🤓☝️' ur being aphobic as fuck #the 'shown no attraction to anyone' part kind of throws me off there #i hate when people say 'well this character didnt have feelings for anyone in the one year time span of the show so theyre romance aversed- #and nobody can ship them or else i'll harass u and subtweet u!1!!' #like. a characters life may not involve sex or romance at all fucking times. that does not make them aroace. #ur headcanon- even if you think its based on a logical conclusion- is not reality #sometimes yall just be making shit tf up #complaining about 'fanon' as if ur not the one pretending ur hc is real and treating everyone else like theyre the bad ones #but if that tweet is just saying that IN ADDITION to theyre canon identity then yea. thats valid. #their* </3 #obviously the reply is fucking disgusting #i couldnt reply directly cuz my twitter is priv #people will say this kind of shit to ME- AN AROACE PERSON #u preach about aro/ace erasure but when an actual aroace walks in you tell them their way of being aroace is wrong #not everyone is the fucking same. #non-partnering aroaces deserve more rep but telling partnering aroaces that their way of being aroace is wrong is genuinely horrific #like actually fuck u #aromantic #asexual #aroace #arospec #meowing (yapping)

[transgirltrish]

to delete if I remember

#dont mind me. #i cant currently afford therapy and im not sure how to shift these feelings to comedy so im just gonna vent into the tags #i wonder if i really deserve this much love in my life. #do i really deserve 2 gfs who love me as incredibly as mine do? #do i really deserve to be greedy and ask two other girls to also be my gf? #i know figuring out if people really deserve love is dumb and everyone deserves to be loved #but a part of me says thats just cuz everyone else deserves it and i dont #part of me says i dont have enough interesting about me to warrant this many gfs #part of me also thinks i shouldn't be trying to date like this when i have no income/money #i know I'm probably fine #but imposter syndrome is a bitch and a half so these thoughts persist

[krash-and-co]

hey krash, i wanted to reach out and say that i'm so sorry that you got such a hurtful reaction from one of the l&co servers for speaking up about something that genuinely needed to be addressed. i won't badmouth anyone in particular but this is not the first time this fandom has dogpiled someone over a misunderstanding, and when it happened to me i had severe anxiety over it for about a week even after it was resolved, and eventually left because of it. it left a pretty bad taste in my mouth for the fandom in general, so i mostly just stick to my small group of mutuals now lol. i wish this fandom truly was different from other fandoms, but this kind of thing is unfortunately inevitable once something reaches a certain level of popularity. but that certainly doesn't make it okay, and you didn't do anything to deserve the reaction you got. i hope you can feel peace about it soon, and i'm sorry again that it happened at all. 🫂

(please don't feel pressured to answer this if you'd rather the matter be left alone, i totally understand. i just wanted to send you an ask because i didn't know if you're comfortable with dms.)

hi im so sorry i forgot to answer!!! thank you so much this means so much to me. 💙💙💙 i read this for the first time when i was feeling pretty attacked and it really cheered me up <3

hmm other people have been telling me about how they got attacked in this fandom too. and maybe this shouldn't have surprised me as much as it did. but it's something fans never talk about and claim doesn’t exist, so i thought it didn’t. i was horribly fooled lol. as, uh, i am about to rant about; do you mind? u don’t have to read it, i won’t be offended, but halfway thru answering this ask it turned into a rant i wanted to release into the world lol, so sorry about that 😭😭😭

very important disclaimer!!! this is NOT about everyone. ABSOLUTELY NOT. most of you are absolutely amazing people, and i assure you if ur worried this is about you, it’s prob not lol

ANYWAYS!!!

im kind of feeling i was betrayed?? ig? i rlly believed everyone was so kind, and look what i know now. it genuinely seems like people are gaslighting themselves. how else do they only see our ‘harm?’ yeah, our fandom is known for being passionate, but saying we’re known for kindness is starting to make me sick. maybe we were, i know a lot of us still are, but throwing that out there in the middle of your hypocritical hate post seems like justification for the shit things people have been saying. you can say no wrong so long as you’re here. only people who don’t agree with you. so yeah, fuck krash and ljc and anyone else who doesn't agree!!! that totally shows how kind you are and how much you loved the fandom before we messed it up. nobodys visibly mad, cuz we're too scared to say shit!!!

i’ve seen too many examples of the contrary from the “victims,” wailing about how cruel we are the second they disagree with someone. (in a highly hypocritical manner, at that.) “everyone was so happy before this!” no, they weren’t, that’s why i brought it up. “stop bringing hate to this fandom! now let me fucking berate you!” do you even hear yourself? “nobody even cared before, we were all content!” we weren’t all content, we were just silent. it sometimes looks the same.

someone even declared they were leaving the fandom because ‘one person wanted to stop show saving efforts entirely because it traumatized them, and this is no longer a safe place.’ like, what? where did you even get that? for one, there were at least two of us posting together, and that’s just barely knowing anything about what’s happening. thats not even touching on how one of us (idk who the op of that post was talking about, it’s a 50/50 lol) made the fandom an unsafe place for our personal gain. what?

hella kind. hella safe on their part.

another said they saw only old fans agreeing about this so it’s just us being pissed about change. it’s us hating the show. me and ljc being upset about not being the only “big blogs” any more. our fandom is only for the elite, etc. fuck us. yet ljc is getting blackmailed. we’re getting hate replies. friends that try and help get attacked. misinformation spread. how did that even happen? we never once tried to hurt anyone; thank you to those who understand.

but to some, WE’RE the ones in the wrong.

do they SEE themselves? how hypocritical all of this is? or are their heads that far up in the ass of their petition and beloved fake idea of this fandom that they care about more than all of us?

now, this is where i add another “not everyone” message. not everyone is like this, this is not me saying i hate the petition or people who support it. hell, i signed the petition. twice. and once more from my mothers email.

i don’t regret the i love you posts i made, because i still do love this fandom, i am still absolutely here for the rest of yall. but DAMN if we weren’t hiding something under happy Save The Show, I Love Locknation! messages. perfectly smiling faces until they bite. i was surprised to see how many people did.

as if our previous problems weren’t enough, now it turned into this lol. no, that’s a lie, it didn’t. it already was, and i HATE THAT.

ig im kinda spoiled, i never really experienced hate like this from this fandom before. but now i know it happened BEFORE too, and that just pisses me off. it hurts coming from a group who says they love us. genuinely wacko (not the fun kind) behavior :[

i know this isn’t everyone’s experience, but it is mine, and enough others to make me wanna say this. and this is ofc me and @lucy-j-carlyle 's brand of hate, not yours. but it does happen and the constant chant that IT DOESN'T IT DOESNT IT DOESN'T isn't helping anyone. and now I know.

idk what im even saying anymore lol, sorry for ranting. what i mean to say is, thank you, and i wish things were better. and i love you kind people. im happy it’s most of you.

#💙💙💙💙 #if people hate on the person who asks me this !!! you will have to get thru me (i am 5’4) #okay but pls i’ll take the fall. genuinely #they did nothing wrong #im the one who answered in rant form #lockwood and co #literally idk what just happened sorry for the word vomit

[regryrth]

Note from that dumb anon in case ur here

I just want this whole thing to have never happened and for me to never have said those things. Originally I thought my confession got deleted for being hate but whats even worse is that it didn’t. So I’d like to dedicate all the self-pity I’m unfairly feeling right now to the victim of my actions DRDT Dev. They are a lovely person and creator and their typing style is perfectly ok. I was an idiot for thinking otherwise And an even bigger idiot for thinking it was ok to post. And a dumbass for blaming it on something you can’t control. While neurodivergence and trauma can show up as reading harmless actions as malicious or vice versa. That wasnt at all the cause of what I said and did. Talking shit isn’t something you can or should blame on a condition that people can’t control. It just taints the real image of that condition and makes the stigma so much worse for everyone, including the people who do it themself. The DRDT Dev shouldnt have to worry about what they post or how they post it cause the fandom loves and cares for them and their content either way. But thanks to people like me and anyone else who feels the need to bring up shit about DRDT Dev and other perfectly good people thinking they won’t see it, they dont feel comfortable anymore. Now cuz of what I thought would be just another silly confession with like 3 notes I may have ruined a part of the fandom that I and everyone else loved. We loved DRDT Dev and their content, I know we did cause I was there to see and enjoy it too but I still thought it was ok to submit that stupid fucking confession. Im terrible for that. I accept full responsibility, and no one else- no not even the people who agreed- deserves to share that blame. Any of the discorse. Or anything that comes to me as a consequence. I cant ask for much after such a stupid decision, but I want to request that Anyone who reads this doesnt blame attack insult rant about anyone related to this who is not me because it’s not their fault and doing that will only make everything worse. I know what I posted is basically the opposite of what Im saying now in a way. But I dont want the fandom to be hurt. I dont want the fandom to have even the tiniest scratch in it after this. I love our fandom, me aside it’s like a tiny community of amazing kind creative people who all support each other and love DRDT. I dont want that to change just because of one idiot who couldnt keep their opinions to themself. So that’s my request here. Im not saying hate should be ignored or normalized though I suppose thats dumb to claim cuz of me staying anon. Sorry. going non anons the one thing I dont feel ok doing. But still. I’m saying that anyone who thinks its ok to do this should be fairly punished and taught their mistakes. And that they apologize even if no one forgives them. But mostly Im saying here specifically is that DRDT Dev didnt deserve what I said. Its not true. And it wasnt ok for me to say let alone how I said it. And like I said- DRDT is one of my favorite things in the world. So from now on Im going to try my hardest to 1, Take responsibility, 2, Think before I speak, and 3, Only speak kindly about others. And somehow I wish I could make it up to DRDT Dev because they and their work is so amazing. There an amazing person and I am eternally sorry to them and anyone else Ive upset. And I dont want them to stop that because of me.

Thats it. Thanks for reading all this if u did and again Im sorry. I love you all

[youve-doomed-us-all-jerk]

and finished it ,got dat true ending yes def had a great time on the game 8/10 (but yeah performance def docked some points as well as some writing threads that felt kinda dropped, but am trying to in good faith piece it together in me mind so just gonna ramble spoilers under the cut:

when people said this is what they wanted the original DD to be i can see that but like i feel like the lead up to the game kept hearing people who know more about the originals history talk about how "40-60% of the original vision was cut down" from dd1 and i feel like my brain unfortunately interpreted that as "oh cool so were gonna have 100 new vocations like the monk and 100 monsters and the parallel worlds(technically true☝🏽🤓) and the moon stuff, neat" thats on me lmao but yeah removing those expectations and seeing it for what it is, its def the spirit of the the first game but its systems deeper and more fleshed out not good at all the techny terms but im not very into or good at action games but this one made me want to be cuz the combat was fun haha hmm writing wise there was a point where i felt like everything just suddenly got dropped once the godbane stuff started happening and youre suddenly barreling to the ending while everything else just wasnt important anymore lmao, but trying to interpret the story as a story the pathfinder is weaving, i think its meant to feel like that cuz we see the pathfinder essentially write us out of problems, give us a griffin to escape slavery, gives us a clue to where were supposed to go and the big one he like straight up changes ambrosius mind about giving us the godsbane when it wouldnt make sense for him too, the old man by harve even alludes to this by saying the real world is much messier when hes telling you about how fake everything is, like the watcher said everyone there is there to play a part in a tale hes laid out and i think he wanted to get to the ending faster. It's definitely another layer they added from the first games cycle, but do wish if that is what theyre going for(and if im not delusional lmao) that they did more like the ambrosius thing just watching as he ass pulls us out of dead ends making us feel what rothais felt when he realized all his feats and hardships didnt matter, also just would have liked more sidequests with fun characters lmao.

Also did enjoy the endings of the 3 major peoples in the unmoored world and felt like their side quests really fleshed them out and led them there to their endings well,mostly, very cool idea to bring it all together like that. elves wanted to stay isolated but they needed outside influence to break tradition, to save their tree and how it all built to them agreeing to seek refuge with the other races rather than die with their way of life. Ironic that disa was half right about sven needing to inherit the throne but ofc she was also half wrong cuz she a tyrant and wants him to have it mainly cuz of blood, but he deserves it cuz his sidequests were about him getting to know the common folk and becoming self assured lmao battahl tbh full disclosure i messed up the queen nadias sidequest to the rose chateau, tried to scare the dick head shopkeeper into giving me the medicine for the beastren and got arrested so idk how that one ends(will find out in NG+ lmao) but based on the ones i did do, it seems like the nations whole thing was about always being in conflict with each other and how the unmoored quests there are about making people put there differences aside and band together, including the arisen teaming with phaesus. Also like the irony of their view on pawns being right at first but by the end of the game they end up being wrong. but yeah do feel like they didnt get into that more, along with what the lambent flame is? (googled that there was lore texts you can find that explain how an earlier emperor is deceiving the people about it and what it really does) they also dont go into the fact vermund was a nation of beastren, started by a beastren and then history was wiped?? and how theres vermundians fear of beastren and human children always look like beastren and yet wilhelmina is a direct contradiction of this?? that seemed like a really juicy plot point but they didnt really do anything with it. and lastly idek where to start with the pawn and arisen ending, found out theres slight differences in the affinity ending (got the high affinity one cuz reds my my gurl i always revive run straight to her to revive her🤗) but watching them talk about how happy they are to have their own will while saying theyd still do anything for you filled me with something, dont even know what but was crazy.

oh also before i forget another way its in the spirit of the first game for me is just like in the original i also forgot to talk to the person i was romancing and giving them flowers before the endings and got diff people appearing there just like my first playthru of the dd1 lmfao( got manela with grigori and sara in the true ending, was going for ulrika this playthru lmfao) def gonna NG+, maybe do a magic archer and get the stuff i missed and try and get the other endings. Also hoping for another expansion/dlc like they did with dd1 down the line with more vocations and monsters.

#dragons dogma 2 #dd2 #dd2 spoilers

[zai-doodles]

Ok ok last question then I’ll stop bothering you lol (but I eagerly look forward to anything you will say in the future about fairytail!)

I think I got your thoughts on Nalu, but what about other ships? You said Gajeel and Levy are your fav ship, could you tell us more why? What about Gray x Juvia? Do you have a least favorite ship?

(And don’t be sorry for rambling a lot/your posts being long! I really enjoy reading your thoughts!)

bestie i literally love u i never have the chance to post my ft hc stuff im THRIVING

aight so im going to make enemies with this post i can feel it in my bones gjkfdhgsfdkj

however i just want to say if u like these ships thats completely fine and if you read them diffrently than i do thats also dope

so lets start positive!! i LOVE gajevy sm its so perfect i just ljdghfkjd

no listen like the thing that gets me abt gajevy is how it elevates gajeel as a character SO MUCH and gives levy so much agency at the same time, like u cant tell me ft would have embraced gajeel the way they did if levy didnt CHOOSE to forgive gajeel in some capacity and like fuck imagine ur GAJEEL in this situation like bro wakes up everyday and this is just his life

gajeel lost metalica at a young age, and (i dont remember too much of canon but im pretty sure its implied he just kinda fucked around until phantom tropue picked him up which yikes) like this CHILD was on his own most of his formative years and then got picked up by a super shitty abusive group of ppl and he just LEARNED to blend in, like yea metalica made him kind of a punk but he was a KID so during those years he was alone he probably just closed himself off to survive and learned to prioritize himself over everybody else and to do that it takes a level of desensitizing urself to others pain

and like ok again im playing hard and fast with canon but i THINK its implied he like, had done a lot of bad shit with them or whatever right? like what he did to levy and fairy tail wasn't NEW, so when the events in canon happen and he ends up at fairy tail, in my mind that's the FIRST TIME he has to face how HIS ACTIONS DIRECTLY HURT SOMEONE

and not only thats but someone who OBJECTIVELY DIDN'T DESERVE IT

like ugh gajeel just,, having to learn to let himself care but also it fucking sucks bc it just makes it set in more and more what a bad person he is (he isnt but he thinks he is) THEN FUCKING LEVY PULLS UP AND JUST?? IS THE BEST???

she literally blows thro all his expectations of her bc at this point i think hes use to dealing with ppl being afraid of him bc that ssomething he understands and control, what he DOESNT understand is her being NICE to him and it makes him RESPECT her and its so out of no where that by the time the GMG roles around and gajeel has fully accepted the fact that he indeed has emotions like everyone else, ONLY TO HAVE TO FACE LEVY BEING SCARED OF HIM AGAIN

learning to put others needs above his own and being empathetic in his own fucked up way

ok enough positivity time to make ppl mad

gonna link my juvia is a lesbian post here bc it sums up a LOT of my feelings on gruvia but the tldr is that my personal hc is that juvia is a lesbian with a serious case of comp het from trying to fit in with other kids growing up and it literally was just never corrected until she got to fairy tail and actively started to form friendships

the main reason i dislike gruvia is that it paints gray as the one who needs to change in order to accept juvias feelings and not just cuz he needs to grow as a person and learn to allow himself to be vunrable.

like grays arc doesnt ONLY center around juvia but its a big part of it and juvias growth CENTERS around gray and we can talk about the the borderline misogynist idea of having a female character whos damn near whole identity is her feelings for a man where she never grows or learns meaningfully but instead just very slowly chills out more so from being sidelined than growth but i digress i just dont like them

last is jerza,, i just dont like em,, jellal is really boring in my opinion and he had a lot of potential but meh? his redemption is neat and his history with erza has potential but i feel like the point of erzas arc is about growth and moving on and while i think her and jellal can still be friends and have each others back she still has so much healing to do after tower of heaven

idk i dont see a lot wrong with jerza i just feel like its a lil bland and not my cup of tea

and yes queer platonic nalu is my life id die for them actually and i have more stuff about natsus abandonment issues and how they carry into his relationships with ppl but imma stop bc this post is long jgkfhgdjhfdjk

tldr: i love gajevy, actively dislike gruvia, very meh about jerza, love qpp nalu

#zai talks #fairy tail

[loganlermanstanaccount]

hey i don't know if i'm reading too much into it but i just saw a post under the finnick odair x reader tag thats was eerily similar to your 'just to kiss me' series the scenes in it are like so similar to yours, like when i read it i was like 'istg i've read this before'. the plot doesn't seem to be directly copied but i just seems off to me. its by the user blondedmuse and the series is called pure heroin. there's only one chapter out so far and its called what meets the eye. i really hope its not what i think it is and i'm just being delusional because you don't deserve for your thoughts and ideas to be plagiarized like that :(

needless to say i love your work and i always get so excited for any updates (i'm literally always on tumblr refreshing) 💕💕

uhhh this is a little weird I can't lie (not on your part, thank you for letting me know!) I'm keeping an eye on it, it seems the post has been taken down, so I haven't been able to read it yet.

idk if anyone else has read it and can confirm for me??

I'm well aware that I haven't invented the idea of a capitol reader x finnick, and it's completely fine for people to be inspired by my posts! I just don't appreciate any plagiarism or direct copies of my fics, especially from a creator with more followers than me! So whether this creator has copied me is still to be seen, and I don't want to slander anyone as of yet. But if anyone feels inspired by my fic, please credit and tag me! more cuz I'm curious and wanna read it lol.

Thank you to everyone who's been enjoying "Just to Kiss Me"! All the comments and reblogs are giving me much needed motivation to finish <3

Expect an update for the next part on Wednesday (ish) :D

#finnick x y/n #finnick x capitol!reader #finnick x reader #thg x reader #thg #the hunger games fic #the hunger games #kat_asks📝📝

[menalez]

hey i just wanted to say thank you for talking about your SA. i actually had a very similar experience w/ a guy i was really good friends with in high school.

he was my best friend, but i got pressured into dating him by my friends, family, his parents. (his mom guilted me into being w/ him 🙄 practically stalked me til i said yes)

he ended up abusing me for nearly 3 years.

and in that time i wrote stupid notes or letters to him making sex jokes cuz i was a KID. the lawyer we hired blamed me for his actions bc of the letters bc of he did 🤦🏻‍♀️

but even still, some weird part of me misses our friendship that we had before other people started meddling in our business. it makes me feel guilty sometimes, and other times it's relief. iunno trauma is weird.

uh but yeah. thank you for sharing, i know it's hard to talk about and be open with this sort of thing. i just wanted to say that you aren't alone as a lesbian who wrote dumb things as a kid or who missed/misses what friendship you had before your friend SA'd.

i think it's also extremely fucked up for people to judge your sexuality based on the way you tried to cope in the past, let alone now.

just know that a lot of women, myself included, really appreciate you being here c:

hey thank u for sharing ur story with me ❣️ honestly the thing that rly hurt about it looking back is it was in a v vulnerable time in my life. i rly had practically nobody. i lost almost all my friends bc i was suddenly a "whore" for getting raped. i would get these messages on all my social media accounts like "you deserved it" "you were seducing him" "haha hes living a good life and youre cutting yourself looooooooool pathetic!!". my friend group went from a lot of my school (small school but its normal for bahrain) to like ... 4 people in bahrain. one of them was that guy that had a crush on me since we were like 11. he would stand between me n my rapist and went to the principal about it so that i would have lesser proximity and was one of the only people who seemed to empathise w my situation. i felt quite indebted to him n everyone would repeatedly call me an idiot and tell me i should be with him and my mom would say she wishes he could be her son in law or w/e and at one point he started insisting that we are together despite me telling him no we are not & that i dont want to be w him. i gave up on saying no eventually n just went along with all of it. i felt like i was stupid for saying no ??? ppl kept telling me i was n i was like huh i guess i am. never said no again rly, up until the very end where i could no longer ignore it n keep putting myself thru any of that. after leaving that situation i saw how fucked up it was that there were all these obvious signs and me obviously signalling TO HIS FACE that i dont want to be w him, that im not interested in him, that it was further traumatising me n harming my mental health, and also the times where what he was doing would fall under SA....idk i felt stupid for facing one male friend taking advantage of me and then another one doing it soon after right in front of my face n i thought it was somehow different and normal and ok simply bc i wasnt getting downright threatened. but i know if someone else didnt hear my rape story n tell me "uh thats rape and thats fucked up" to begin with i wouldve also probably let that happen again n again too n not thought much about that while getting traumatised until afterwards too.

anyways... im glad that ur out of that situation. im sorry that we have some shared trauma there. shit like this is why i dont even trust "nice guys" anymore fr. i dont think that many ppl can rly understand that sort of situation and i can get how its confusing, bc it was a confusing time for me too. but idk why they think theyd know better than me about my own life either lol

[ask-dcf]

*the bottle forms two new notes, ready for reading.*

----

*Chara's note reads as follows:*

"Honestly? I understand. I understand completely. Its scary, yknow? Love is scary. But you deserve it- sides, there aint no going wrong with Frisk, right? Theyre the kindest person, in both your universe and mine.

As difficult as it is, we're all kinda 'chained' in our own way. Trapped. Its a part of life. But whats important is how we handle our prisons, or whatever. Like...decorating a prison to become a home. Idk if that makes sense? Lol I can't exactly think with everything going on, to be honest.

Take as much time as you need, honestly. But don't let personal chains hold you back forever, okay? Trauma sucks, but honestly, i've found that treating it like an asshole animal you're stuck with as a pet has helped. Does that make sense? Should I even be writing this letter right now? Frisk says no but idc youre getting this anyways

Has anyone told you that you're really cool? cuz you should know that. i think so at least. You have snazzy clothes too. You look very suishable. I kinda wanna squish you. maybe someday we could meet in person? idk if thats possible, but yknow.

Rock on, and fuck those buttercups lol

-Chara"

---

*Frisk's note reads as following:*

"So cool to be hearing back from you!! :D its always nice to make a new friend!

Firstly, I wanna say! Chara can hate humanity, without hating you! Sure, you're human, but...cmon, do you REALLY think she isnt at least fond of you? I heard that she sang to you! Only someone that really cares sings to you! And she blushes a lot around you, too! Thats suspicious to say the list :p

And hey! You arent a weak nobody! You're a frikkin Frisk! The savior of Monsterkind! Sure, Data and Chara helped (which is very cool of them :D) but!! You're one of the ones who saved monsters! That DEFINITELY is more than a nobody!

Besides!! You dont have to have committed some giant act to be a 'somebody'!! Everyone's lives have a meaning, no matter what anyone else tells you. That includes yours.

My big sister Celest told me once 'your value is not what you can do, or how well you can do it. it is who you are. And as long as you are something, whether big or small, you are valuable. Even if that 'something' is just being an everyday person.'

And shes right!! You are valuable, and so am I...even if...its hard to understand or remember sometimes..but if we keep repeating that, someday, we'll believe it with our souls, right? so keep your head up!! or cry if you need it!! both are fine!!

You and I both have people we still want to save. I don't know what will come of either of our situations but...at least we will have each other to tell! ^v^

Sincerely, me! <3

(Ps: tell your Chara that my Chara is delirious, which is why their note might be weird =~=)"

*They read their letters. Confused and slightly flustered as they write their responses*

To Chara (Me): *multiple cross outs as if not sure how to respond to some of these* Thanks… I will need alot of time to think, but i appreciate the support…. And well. what i went through was way too much for me… So it will be hard for me to deal with it. Also thanks, good to know i am cool with my poncho (even though its color is different now) and uuhhh not sure on the squishy thing. i dont think i am… And uh. yeah would be nice to meet another Me thats not a murderer. -signed Other you

To new Friend me!: *couple scribbles aswell unable to respond* I genuinely think she more or less tolerates me the same way she tolerates an aquiantece…. i at least want her to see the outside and know that humanity isnt all bad. Maybe if i show her how peaceful it is then maybe ill have more confidence in being her-*big harsh scribbles* Forget that. As for the blush thing i think she is just shy around another human… maybe… And the singing uh…. no comment… haha… And well… its debatable of the save thing… I…. I also had help when i wanted to save the monsters. its hard to explain what i saw but it did involve Data again… I appreciate Your sisters words of wisdom… while i still dont feel confident i…. I want to at least make Chara see the good in humanity… despite its flaws…. maybe that can be enough for me to be happy…. even if in the end… she… doesnt…. you know…… And yeah. good luck on the people you wanna save, ill try my best myself. stay safe. -Frisk

*they put their notes in the bottle. and it teleports. Frisk looks down sad while Chara looks at them with a bit of worry.*

#undertale #datatale #datatale au #frisk #chara #ask blog #ask dcf

[self-h-rmageddon]

honestly dreading my birthday cuz how are they gonna fuck it up for me this year?

i dont think ive had a single birthday i didnt cry on. they use it as like an excuse to go do things which sure! if we wanna go do things thats fine, but.. they dont even let me pick where we go, this year is one of the only times ive been like. i said hey maybe we could go here sometime and we're actually going. i hope its okay, im not excited cuz my moms bringing her husband and they. should be divorced already but whatever i just?

my birthday last year fucking sucked. they took me out to like. minigolf which was alright! i do like minigolf and not to brag but i was pretty good at it... but there were too many people, it made me really anxious and then the one time i tried to like. snap myself out of it and try n enjoy my time, i made a joke to my sibling (like a clear joke too i just said i was gonna kill em, i say shit like that all the time and they do as well) and they decided for the first time ever to take it seriously and get mad at me for it so it ruined my mood and i was just waiting to leave

i think the worst part? we went to panera bread cuz i like the breadbowls, and. look, there have been very few times in my life where i dissociate so hard im seeing myself from above but.. being surrounded by family in that building and having not a single one near me or talking to me? having them all talk to eachother and leaving me alone there in the middle? it hurt, it hurt a lot. it made me realize they dont actually care about me, this is their birthday basically. everyones birthday but mine

i wrote myself a little like. bday fic with kelvin before my bday last year but. after the actual day i abandoned it completely, the whole thing was ruined for me. it sucked

we're going to the aquarium for my birthday, so hopefully ill have a good time. im scared though, itll be ruined for me im sure. my mom will call my dom, but she'll misgender me, my grandma will deadname me blatantly, etc. i. i wish i could take myself out on my birthday instead, maybe.. i wish i could spend it with my friends. anytime ive gone out with my friends, ive had the best day ever. im never deadnamed, never misgendered cuz i act totally different, im 10x more confident and i carry myself with certainty, people recognize me as a man from BEHIND, even if my face is covered they recognize it (which is something thats important to me, ive always been afraid my eyes are like. too feminine or something)

my family wouldnt like that, but. i deserve to be happy on my birthday, right? i dont even CARE about it that much, like genuinely thats how it is i dont give a shit about the day i was born cuz its never been fun for me. i want to experience it just one time, one time with my friends instead? i dont care what we do, we can do whatever THEY want genuinely, just like we always do. id have such a great time no matter what

it just sucks, im bracing for it. i hope they bring my niece and focus on her the whole entire time like i GENUINELY would prefer that so much, like omg yes look at the 5 year old having her first aquarium trip yippiee!!! and ill go fuck off and enjoy the fish somewhere else

[goremet-chef]

i killed my space, this fucking sucks this isnt for me it was a MISTAKE even if its nice it. nothing goes my way ever because i just thrive off of my own misery apparently

it spreads like a plague and its gonna infect everythng and ruin it AGAIN im always ruining it everything they said about me is true

i cant even be content with happiness, no i have to look and find out how to ruin it again. always complained about it in the past but LOOK at yourself fucking look. i do this to me, theres no one else to blame. i dont have any because of ME. its my fault. "ohh im socially anxious" "im autistic i dont know how to talk to people" "i get stigmatized cuz of my bpd" shut upp god shut up

even now, this is ruining it. no matter how much you get, it will never be enough for you. its gonna become so unmanageable, who wants to deal with that? no one, i already know the answer

god i backed myself into a corner man. i cant DO this shit im sick of being reliant, sick of having eyes on me sick of everything

sofucking dramatic but the worst part is like... thats just how i feel. my emotions are heightened, maybe its dramatic to someone else but this is very real pain im experiencing. theres no hyperbole

thats not an excuse though. i dont know how to deal with this. i dont have access to help right now. i refuse to push this onto anyone else

there is no right answer! isolate? void gets bigger, harder to deal with. anytime im open about how i feel it makes me feel so.. guilty. the most vile burning guilt you can imagine. i feel so selfish all the time. i just want to curl up under a rock and stay there for the rest of time, and no one will see me again

i just want to be alone because i think its what i need. but if im miserable when im alone, and miserable when im not, then what is the answer? there is no right answer

theres never an answer to this. just spits poison and rots yr brain, tells you everyones hates you. oh that feeling is creeping up again? you should be ASHAMED. how many times are you gonna make them say it? idiot

at some point i honestly wish it was just another alter terrorizing me, but i have no one to blame but myself. selfish selfish selfish. cant even relinquish control for long, let someone else live here and keep me tucked away because its so STRONG that it hurts them too

what did i do to deserve this?

#vent #on my bpd shit just ignore it #i mean that seriously #spare me the shame

[savnofilter]

i know it's been years since the bnha drama you had to go through in 2020, but i wanted to say that i've thought about really it for years and years and i was on your side for when it happened. i still remain on your side, and i hope you were given proper apologies from yk who and their defenders. you most likely never want to think about it again, but i hope you know that what you did mattered. i think about it really from time to time remembering how the internet was so eager to go against a bunch of teens and how cruel it was really at the time. i know you endured a lot of hate for it, and i hope you're doing better now!

let's be real here, aint nun of them ever apologized to me and never will. it's pretty evident how past the few troll hate asks i got recently, everything is 100% lbh and them and it's not made up cuz apparently mfs think i send hate to myself LOL.

atp idc cuz everyone else ive ever had a problem with that werent part of their circle or used to be, ive actually amended and made up with. but thank you for this, it def doesnt effect me like it did back in the day (idky i aged myself like that). i definitely am better now! mentally, emotionally (i think; im stunted there if we're being quite honest) and overall i love life. i love everything in it like im just chilling... if anything that whole thing made me realize that i was limiting myself being on here 24/7 and straining myself worrying ab shit that didnt need to be worried ab.

so even if i took the L and there are so many fake fuckass niggas on this site (or left) who said they know ab whats happened but still fuck with nonces they can go die like the rest of them. 🖕🏽 it's truly disappointing how cowardly most are to refuse the idea of not supporting someone simply bc they wanna read degenerate bakugo fanfic. i would be lying if i wasnt honest on how hurt i really was when ppl also lied on my name saying i did shit i never did or the fact that no shade no tea, anonie, getting asks like this and then crickets publicly. and to that if there are more recent victims or ppl effected by her and her friends actions you deserve it!!!! lol.

im apathetically bitter but im just glad i can finally talk my shit on my blog LOL. i used to be so scared of talking ab what was really going on, walking on eggshells bc i still wanted to be seen as just funny little Sav who makes borderline crack fics. i am not one to sub a bitch, imma call you out your name but yk who tf im talking ab!! it feels good to be free to speak ab what i want, not feeling pressured to conform to ideologies i dont agree with (proship, dark content, politics etc etc). so tbh im very happy with the outcome. bc at the end of the day i know i spoke nothing but the truth and even with no support i can sleep at night knowing i got no skeletons in my closet. i own to the things i do, i will admit when im wrong and i love to grow as a person. i speak my truth and dont need everyone to agree with it or debate me. 🤷🏽‍♀️

also yall choose your friends wisely. use your intuition. dont ignore that gut feeling and dont fw ppl yk do shitty things. you will get caught up in it, and thats past tumblr cesspool drama advice. it's very tempting to be that bad person. it's tempting to do whatever you want but everything has a consequence.. everything you put out, you receive back.

n ik im not mf saint either bitch ☠️ cuz i made a choice at 14 y.o joining this site, i was either gonna be some wholesome pushover or a bitch. i took the latter, did the time and now ive learned that i dont need to be rude or a bully in order to be assertive. that having respect for yourselves and others doesnt mean to be unnecessarily mean to mfs who DONT deserve it. everything just feels like a life lesson tbvh. im gonna keep arguing with niggas online cuz i eat everyone up even when im outnumbered. 🥴 but to everyone who genuinely deserves an apology from me has received it and likewise. and that's all i can ask for.

tldr; ive learned a lot, that time was very sucky but we up. 🤪🤳🏽

p.s shoutout to ms gworl @/mci bc she kept me in check and helped me a lot. no bum on this site will ever compare to her at all. oh yeah and i will talk ab the callout any chance i get so neva tell me to let it go!! <3

#ofc i got my other moots like cyn and peach #it was an adjustment to stay to myself but im having much more fun now so 🤷🏽‍♀️ #so much better not having to perform #meet ppl interaction quotas etc #ive made peace truly #cuz soon enough i realized most ppl i argue w/online are just yt musty lewsers saur #this is my safe haven if you will; a spam page #i should post soon lol #sav's anons #d dabbles

[acidmatze]

Could I ask all 25 for the chose violence ask game? I would love to hear what you have to say.

Took me ten minutes to find that reblog again. Hope youre even still around to read this, anon

the character everyone gets wrong Maybe not Everyone but like.. 95% of the fans and "fans"... would be Gojo, hands down. None of you write him correctly. I know cuz i talked to Gege and he attacked me with a shovel.

a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom I dont have or need one cuz Vash is a switch.

screenshot or description of the worst take you’ve seen on tumblr Basically every post that calls Gojo egoistic or describes him as an asshole who makes fun of people for the sake of it.

what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person? I dunno anymore. I think someone was disgustingly Pro Hero Society or something in the bnha fandom like... years ago.

worst discord server and why How am i supposed to know every discord server?

which ship fans are the most annoying? Cruise ship fans, ba dum tss.

what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them? Every popular character on tumblr i think? Luckily they are never in my fandoms so its easy to avoid them.

common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about Already answered that in 1.

worst part of canon Trigun is inherently perfect And in jjk... i think Naoya himself is the worst part.

worst part of fanon Someone once wrote Gojo wrong and everyone since then everyone has done the same

number of fandom-related words you’ve filtered I think i have like... 3 fandoms blacklisted and thats it

the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them The ACTUAL Gojo, how he actually is in canon and everyone should like him because he isnt a piece of flaming garbage like fanon Gojo.

worst blorboficiation I legit dont know

that one thing you see in fics all the time Vash sleeping with his prosthetic arm on??? Hello???? Do you people sleep with glasses on and in jeans and are also set on fire cuz thats how uncomfortable that would be.

that one thing you see in fanart all the time All fanart i see is perfect and gorgeous and has no flaws

you can’t understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc) I dont know why everyone is horny for fanon Gojo when thats just Crappo, their shitty OC.

there should be more of this type of fic/art There can never be enough autistic!Vash

it’s absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on… Mechanic!Vash. Give that man a regular job like he deserves to have. Nothing sexier than a man working with heavy machinery.

you’re mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like… If i like something it means its good, even if its just good to Me, and therefore I am not ashamed or horrified.

part of canon you found tedious or boring Nothing that comes to mind

part of canon you think is overhyped Again, nothing really.

your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores All the amazing jokes Gojo makes. That man is a comedy genius and people should write him accordingly. Also i would have said "The tummy hurty scene" in Trigun 98 but people lately have been paying attention to that so nvm.

ship you’ve unwillingly come around to None

topic that brings up the most rancid discourse "But Wolfwood is actually still a child because I ignore canon and refuse to actually interact with canon cuz trying to start a fight in the most peaceful fandom ever is somehow my hobby. I am totally normal."

common fandom complaint that you’re sick of hearing None Well, no violence here.

#ask game #i should tag these so i wont have to spend eternities trying to find them....

[iloveyouphillipmorris]

i say this out of love. i think u should start taking responsibility 4 yr own existence. ur here wether u like it or not. u cant keep victimizing urself and just assuming that everyone else doesnt or wont like u. u have 2 actually try 2 understand the thoughts n headspaces of those around u and make an effort 2 be a good part of that. stop trying 2 escape into different realities, i know it brings comfort 2 u but there is such a thing as too much comfort and paths into self isolation. u have a future and ur decisions right now will be what determines it, and u will live longer than u expect right now. i hope things get better 4 u. keep making moves towards getting a reliable income, getting therapy, n furthering urself. ur doing great. i know u know its me, i just wanted 2 say my last peace b4 i part ways permanently. i dont want 2 keep in touch because i think u have hurt me in more ways than u recognize and i dont think i could rehash that rn n thats ok 4 both of us. i just hope u understand. be safe n well. xoxo

i don’t see thee point in sending things like this. you hurt me equally in ways you don’t understand, either. if you’re leaving, leave. i have a job, i have therapy, i’m on like 8 medication, i have a gallery show for thee entire month ov decemebr, im working with a local zine, i worked to get rick outtuv my life, i take care ov my home and family, i take responsibility for what i do. i didn’t used to but i do now.

if this is thee way you wanna do this, fine, but know it’s cowardly and i’m allowed to vent and talk here especially during a bipolar swing to a psychotic side which is yes, in my control. but it is almost equally outside ov my control. your monitoring helps me none cuz i know You know that you-know-who is still staking me. it’s just adding to my paranoia and anxiety. i do have few close friends, you know that, you were one ov thee 3. if i want to be alone, i deserve thee right to be alone. i was codependent on you and on you-know-who and V etc and it wasn’t good for me, iv grown distant from other people bcoz it’s Good for me to learn to be alone.

you’re reading my posts and extracting thee worst from them. it hurts like fucking hell you decided to go anonymous to tell me this when we breathed thee same air for almost a decade. i hope you know i would have come to you personally.

all that said, i will always love you. i just think it’s absurd that this is how you went about it. be well. bye.

[hello-yue-here]

if anyone else saw the post saying that katara was gonna be 16 and sokka was gonna be 14 in the live action here is my take:

im pissed ab this.

and no, it’s not because its most likely being done so they can make zutara a couple. i dont care about that. i have nothing against zutara. i may not ship it myself but if you ship it good for you. ive seen cute fanart and cute fanfics for zutara that ive really enjoyed. i like zutara. not my favorites but i dont dislike them. just wanted to make that clear. that isnt what im mad about here.

im pissed because its gonna ruin katara and sokka’s characters.

by making katara older there is not a doubt in my mind that they will make her more “motherly” seeing as she will likely be responsible for taking care of sokka and aang. there has already been way too many issues in this fandom with stereotypes of katara being reduced to “just the mom friend” and nothing else. in my opinion many of the mom friend stereotypes that have been pushed onto katara in fanon has led to a lot of sexism towards katara and this will inevitably end up forcing the mother role onto her even more and thats just a no no for me. katara literally fights sexism in the NWT, plz dont force her to be a 16 year old girl forced to care for her brother and the avatar because she is older than them. katara deserves more than being forced into a motherly role for aang and sokka. again this is just my take on what i think will happen if katara is made to be the older sibling. i could be wrong. but i would really hate to see this happen because i know itll result in more sexism towards katara and i would really hate to see that.

and now sokka. a major part of sokkas character comes from the fact that he is an extremely protective older brother. because he is the OLDER brother he feels the need to be the man if the tribe. he is very responsible and very serious. this all stems from the fact that he is OLDER. he even says that he is the leader because of it. sokka pretty much IS the leader because he keeps these younger kids on track as an older brother. his insecurities largely stem from the fact that his little sister is a prodigy bender and he is not. there was literally a whole episode about it. and being an older brother w a prodigy sibling mirrors zuko and azula PERFECTLY and that parrallel is one of the most compelling things about atla!!! that will all be flushed down the drain. sure you can still have sexist sokka getting his butt whooped by suki without him being the older brother, sure sokka would likely still be insecure of his status as a nonbender without being the older brother, but in my opinion it would be much less compelling that way seeing as it stems from his status as. an. older. brother. his status as the older brother is also part of the reason why his relationship with hakoda is so interesting as well. his father left him behind to be the man of the tribe because he was older. he wants to make his father proud by proving that he can be a man. his healthyrelationship woth hakoda also DIRECTLY parrallels to zukos horrible relationship with ozai. WHICH IS ALSO AN EXTREMELY COMPELLING PART OF ATLA. sokka just wants to make his father proud by proving that he CAN protect katara. without this, his protectiveness is gone, leaving his protectiveness over Yue in the northern tribe and his protectiveness of suki at serpents pass and his protectiveness of toph on the airship rooted in nothing. sokka is protective BECAUSE he is the older brother. sokka as the younger sibling will reduce him to nothing more than comedic relief and strip him of much of the traits that make him an amazing three dimensional character.

all in all you dont have to agree with me. im not one of the writers. i cant confirm that mom friend katara and comedic relief sokka are what will result in the live action show due to the age swap. but i am very very very very VERY confident that that is what the characters we know and love will be reduced to should this occur. just my thoughts. just my opinion. (if you disagree thats okay but plz be respectful i tried v hard to be respectful when writing this as well)

tl;dr while it may seem inconsequential to change the ages of sokka and katara their roles and older brother and younger sister help shape their characters and changing that just to make zutara canon (even tho i have nothing against zutara. zutara stans please do not attack me ur ship is cute i swear.) it will also change the dynamic of the show we know and love and i am too attached to their original character arcs to be happy with this change.

have a lovely day everyone. go drink some tea and read a fluffy fic and distract urself from another live action atla disaster.

:)

EDIT: keep in mind the age swap isnt like totally confirmed yet so this could all end up being for nothing but yk still wanted to put my thoughts out there🥰 now if you will excuse me im going to write a college essay and then some fanfic cuz why not

EDIT TWO: pretty sure its fake. im sorry for how long this is. false alarm everyone! i think! i hope!

EDIT THREE: i ship zutara now lol. i still stand by this post tho. not happy ab the character age swaps.

#atla #avatar the last airbender #sokka #katara #water tribe #like dont ruin their entire character for a ship guys. please. #i already knew i wasnt gonna watch the live action so idk why i care so much about this #idk ig im just upset because i rlly dont want katara to deal w more sexist takes she deserves better #i also dont want sokka to be just an annoying little brother we all know that thats what would happen #watch me be wrong about them changing the ages just to make zutara happen #what if theyre changing the ages to make sokka and azula happen HAHAHHAA #that would be even crazier #bryke i get why u left #zutara #zuko #i usually dont do big takes like this im sorry if this annoyed anyone #i was scared to post this i never post my atla opinions online unless theyre fun headcanons #plz dont hate me lmao

[roguestarsailor]

You know what since we’re still in quarantine and i have nothing else better to do, i need to obsess over ACOTAR. I don't like a court of frost and starlight. For the longest time I couldn't figure out why I didn't like it. I aggressively read the book in maybe a day and I closed it feeling frustrated and annoyed. My version had A Court of Silver Flames preview so that definitely contributed to my annoyance greatly.

It's because it felt too perfect. Everything that had happened -- after the entire war was fought and won, they just go back to their normal lives? Yes there were hiccups and yes there were still aspects that made every IC character feel like their problems aren’t solved yet...but it didnt feel right. yes i enjoyed the snowball fight between the bat boys, feyre + rhys sexy time, and those little comfort moments too, the slice of life type things and seeing feyre accomplishing her goals and how hopeful the future seems BUT its too fast. the good parts of the book did not offset the bad parts of it.

Feyre literally accomplished pretty much every single goal she made back in ACOMAF just like that?? within a span of what a few months? a year?? She really came back from an entire war -- probably the first war of many since she's immortal and just like that, after her 21st birthday: she gets a whole entire estate, wants to start poppin babies, opens her art studio and starts teaching kids and then acting like she can rule an entire court?? the timeline is sooo short esp since its been brought up over and over again how everyone is literally 500 years old and have a super “messy” history and their changes seems to come super dupe slowly. but feyre, who has only lived 0.000000002% of her fae life, is out here thriving just fine???

the war devastated thousands of illyrian soldiers where its changing the politics of the illyrains and the faes, all of whom feyre has responsibilities over too as high lady. the mortal queens are still at large who left the humans on prythian to die which is why feyre was willing to go to war in the first place! what about the rest of hybern and their land and residents?? they wanted to enslave humans for social and economical reasons! then what about integrating humans w deep hatred and fear with deeply prejudice fae??? there’s also spring and summer court who are literally in ruins. thats literally so much. so idk how feyre is just chillin???? she gonna let rhys do all the hard work???

like feyre sit down. u should not be having a baby. esp since it took u literally a 700 pages to heal from those 3 months UTM. ur telling me shes gonna whole heartedly bring in a newborn in a war devastated world, with civil unrest (illyrains, other courts), with the messiness of human and fae integration, with trauma u and rhys will have to continue to overcome esp after THIS war??? even helping ur sisters w their traumas??

this is a personal opinion on this subject (and maybe my thoughts will change on this later on; opened to other thoughts) but when i read the part about how that weaver/seamstress artist who made that dark quilt that feyre loved talked about how her mate of 300 years didn’t come back from the war and her biggest regret was that she didnt have a kid to remember him by i just thought ur kid isn’t some sort of memorabilia. don’t have a kid to keep the memory of ur mate alive; have a kid cuz u want a kid purely for the sake of having a kid. ur memories and photos and shit will keep their memory alive but its not having a kid. some primitive need to keep the genes alive maybe?? but the way it was phrased and then in turn how feyre was like oh i need  a baby pronto cuz rhys might die in the next war and regret not having a kid with him didn’t sit right with me. also the other couple were together for +300 years and have a rich life together, while shes been with rhys for literally two years THATS NOTHING IN FAE YEARS. thats still the honeymoon phase and also ur problems arent even close to being over!!!

everyone was shitty to nesta. in ACOMAF, we saw how much the IC went through and still did all they could to help feyre. what made them not think nesta deserve the same welcome? nesta is mean as a defense but did no one try to figure out what would help (amren got close but shes so under developed)??? feyre knows nesta feels too much and yet she continued to be shitty. continued to flaunt her wealth, her status, her familiarity/borderline know-it-all attitude about fae/night court, her ~estate~. forcing nest to the solstice party when nesta was literally like i dont belong, im looking at everyone through a window type of thing; the fire cracking triggering her, etc. what kind of power play was that when she made nesta come to her estate, where nesta could SEE how ~homey~ and how suscessful feyre is and fully see all the lovely paintings of everyone feyre loves that explicitly exclude her to tell her to fuck off to a war camp?? bro???? cas was a dick too and elaine was rude. i think a lot of his actions were meant to make her angry since anger keeps u fighting (as was the method of rhys for feyre in ACOMAF) but what he said was stupidly shitty and i demand that he apologize properly. elaine could have done more to help her sister but whatever. mor was definitely an ass too (and im upset for how little her character growth is). 

Lucein. that man can’t catch a break tbh. im happy that hes w the band of exiles cuz he is whole heartedly accepted there. feyre was definitely an asshole to him even tho he helped as much as he could throughout the books. he tries so hard w elaine as well and it did hit my heart a bit when she was like gloves to work in my garden?? no ?? i use my bare hands see oNly aZiReL sEeS mE fOr WhO i Am. and at the same feyre is like flaunting her mate status to lucein which is mean as shit. its like this man can’t find love in prythain. then tamlin sending him his box of his things??? thats for sure brutral. tam was literally his partner through it all; savior of sorts even. no love from IC, no love from elaine, no love from feyre, no love from tamlin, no love from autumn court rejected everywhere! also HIS TRUE FATHER?? HEllo??? 

then on tamlin. i pity the guy! was i suppose to feel that way??? it felt like he is allowed to get a redemption arc and maybe i’ll even root for a redemption arc??? i was absolutely excited for freysand in ACOMAF but after ACOFAS, im like tamlin is....not completely bad??? his relationship w feyre was bad and the controlling parts were very much a no-no. i dont truly understand the dynamics of an abusive relationship but i can understand that it can be insidious and its the little things that hurt the victim. and i felt  feyre through ACOMAF and rooted for her to escape her abuser! but then it felt like i dont think he was doing any of those things out of malice. ill say tamlin is a bad leader and doesn’t know how to run a court outside of what he sees his father do. his understanding on everything is based on the traditions of the past which i think fueled most of the things he did i.e. not telling feyre she was in danger since maybe his mom didn’t do those war planning things. ACOTAR showed how he truly cared/loved and took good care of feyre and her family. he even talked about how he didn’t believe in the enslavement of humans! i think that tam wanted to preserve what he thought was the good (aka feyre + her love of painting) and get back a sense of control that he and his entire court lost while chained to amarantha. but at the same time, i think he truly thought feyre wasn’t safe. he knows rhys can crush minds and knows feyre can’t read/write so when he got that letter telling him shes safe of course hes gonna flip shit and made a deal w the devil (although those temper outbursts were DEFINITIVELY not ok!!!). he also didn’t listen and has sense of he knows best when feyre was not the type of person. but feyre destroyed his entire court. he lost all his sentries who literally went out to die for him during amarantha’s reign. he lost lucien too; his trusted right hand man. his people were cursed for 50 years and then continued to suffer UTM and was in the process of rebuilding too!  but just seeing spring court, WHO BORDERS THE HUMANS, be in ruins where his subjects left him, his people left him and hes all alone in the manson?? that was sooo sad. so im like why does what feyre did not feel satisfactory????? im mad that it didn’t feel right??? maybe there wasn’t a point where feyre talked to tamlin -- like really talked to him esp w her new found voice and power, etc. anyways, i dont hate tamlin and was like oh shit i think feyre fucked up a bit there.

rhys is a dick to nesta. which made me think, if feyre wasn’t his mate would he extend the same love and care to her???  i loved how he tried so hard to make sure feyre was ok. made sure she wasn’t breaking! all of it! but for nesta, he had the audacity to use his high lord voice and be an ass overall. even tho he can see how cas is fucken in love??? even just how he talks to cass feels off too. 

i’ll even go as far as to say because of how terrible ACOFAS was, it created this intense divide within the fandom. i remember reading the first three books and was absolutely 1) rooting for freysand  2) curious about the sister relationship and how it will be mended 3) i definitely didn’t hate nesta nor did i hate elaine either -- but i was adament about them talking it out with feyre for those tough times 4) saw a more realistic and charming healing arc 5) was rooting for feyre to be a stronger voice and grow into herself 6) love the dynamic of the inner circle + feyre

but after ACOFAS, I have this intense need to defend nesta and was super mad at how she was treated after the war and in turn a deep dislike for elaine for both her lack of agency, lack of grit that made all the other characters interesting, and lack of care for her sisters (who showed how much they would risk for her). i dont hate rhys but i was extremely not happy with him and his attitude and behavior. feyre became more arrogant and was acting like how asshole rhysand would act. like her life is perfect now and i was not rooting for her anymore. freysand didn’t feel like they have complimenting qualities that made them interesting in the first place but rather they are merging to become the same person but in a bad way. that mind reading thing was cute in the beginning but it became insufferable since all thoughts were shared so seamlessly it made reading feel weird. 

anyways those are my thoughts on ACOFAS. it was a 1/5 stars for me and im mad those events transpired. reading the other books made me excited to know what was gonna happen and i was truly ready to accept the characters as flawed and nuanced as they are. im not mad about character not liking each other but i am mad that everything felt off. ACOFAS just felt regressive in some parts and forced in other parts. i know not everything ends in a nice tied up bow but this book single handily ruined what i thought about these characters in the worse way possible. this book wasn’t suppose to wrap up all the problems that exists in the other books but it didn’t feel hopeful like i thought it would. it didn’t feel wrapped up and didn’t feel like i should be excited about the next books. theres so many missing pieces i feel that i think need explaining and at the same time, i think it introduced too many problems at once which made it feel like its jumping around everywhere. although im still excited for ACOSF because i love nesta, and nesta deserves so much better and i want to have hope that this bad ending will either make sense later on or it was just a blimp.

#amandathoughts #a court of thorns and roses #acotar #acofas #a court of frost and starlight #sarah j maas #freye #rhysand #nesta archeron #tamlin #lucien #cassian #late night thoughts #acotar rant #nesta stan #updated with memes #just to break up the novel i wrote #feyre #feyre archeron #high lady feyre #amandabookthoughts