#breast cancer shortly

[undying-love]

Jane's grievances during her relationship with Paul

"Jane appeared on the BBC Simon Dee television show and admitted that her relationship with Paul was over. A few months later Jane told me how naïve she'd been so far as other girls were concerned. But there were other problems. She was also unhappy about drugs, which were as common among rock stars then as they are now, and definitely not thrilled by Paul's friendship with some of the Rolling Stones. [...] And more important to Paul than his relationship with Jane, was his partnership with John Lennon, whom he'd met shortly after his mother died of breast cancer when he was 14. In his emotional vacuum, Paul had turned to music and joined John's skiffle group the Quarry Men. And when John's mother was also to die just over a year later, the friendship had intensified with a shared sense of loss. And so it was to remain as adulthood and fame arrived, and the girls came and went. And, in John's case, a wife as well." --Ray Connolly (The Ray Connolly Beatles Archive, 2016)

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This is very significant because Ray Connolly was a friend of Jane, Paul and John. Jane opened up to him and talked about many things that caused problems in her relationship with Paul, and one of these was apparently his relationship with John and how it appeared to be even more important to him than his relationship with Jane. Here is anither similar quote:

"Throughout the years, the underlying tensions in  their relationship had remained the same. They centered on Paul's misgivings about Jane's commitment to her acting career and Jane's misgivings about Paul's primary ties to the other Beatles." 

-Book: Cant Buy Me Love, by Jonathan Gould

#hmmmm #interesting #👀👀 #mclennon

[piosplayhouse]

Outline for modern genderbend svsss au where they're all trans milfs (except for Binghe who is trans still but not a milf) cinematic universe:

[Act 1] Shen Yuan was on his path to a teaching degree at age 22~23 and began shadowing high school tenured teacher Shen Jiu (no relation, they just have the same last name and hate it) where he changes a young Binghe's life by protecting him from bullying and just generally being a better teacher than sj. Right before Binghe's last year of school, sy's health takes a sudden decline, he's hospitalized, and he has to postpone his degree. Through a miscommunication, Binghe believes that sy was fired for having too much contact w Binghe and is now somewhere else- devastated, he enrolls at the prestigious, yet secretly abusive, uni that sy had pushed him to apply to, with the goal of becoming successful enough to pull strings and give sy whatever he wants

[Act 2] While hospitalized, Shen Yuan staves off boredom by being terminally online. Through this, he meets and quickly becomes unlikely friends with 40 something year old mid tier author Shang Qinghua. Sqh offers sy an admittedly unglamorous job as her editor since he's pretty much given up on his degree at this point, as well as a place to stay away from his family when he gets out of the hospital. Sy accepts and after moving in, gets to know sqh, who is a trans woman who transitioned in her 30s when her first big book deal put her in a stable enough position to do so. Sy realizes she is also trans; the two gradually make sqh's newest work a bestseller and she's suddenly inundated with publishing and movie deals. Happy times. Meanwhile, Binghe becomes a demon (frat boy)

[Act 3] Sy hits 30, now comfortable in her cushy job as sqh's editor/agent. Unfortunately, she is tragically diagnosed with breast cancer shortly after her birthday. She undergoes a double mastectomy and luckily fully recovers with a strong support network, but the stress has taken its toll on her and her health and she begins going grey early. Binghe, now also a girl yippee, received unexpected inheritance money sometimes during uni and used it to become a highly successful businesswoman with connections throughout the education, political, and publishing spheres (because she remembers shen yuan was a big reader and wanted to be a lit professor). Now on the hunt for her old teacher, she's tipped off to her new life by business partner gilf-fucker Mobei Jun (38) who recently started seducing sqh

misc: in her 20s sqh made some quick cash by donating sperm, so biologically she is actually probably a grandma at this point

[copperbadge]

Radio Free Monday

Good morning everyone, and welcome to Radio Free Monday!

Ways to Give:

goodbyeomelas linked to a fundraiser for their cousin, who recently was diagnosed with breast cancer and then shortly after laid off. She needs surgery and chemo, and help covering medical costs and living expenses for her and her daughter. You can read more and support the fundraiser here.

valkerymillenia is a carer for her disabled father and recently had to spend months out of work; she's back to work now but needs to raise funds for her father's diabetes medication and her own health issues, as well as food; you can read more, reblog, and find giving information here.

jeanninedupree linked to a fundraiser for Morganne, a former coworker whose father had a severe brain bleed and needed to be hospitalized; his FMLA leave is coming to an end and he will be without a paycheck as the sole provider for both of them. She is fundraising to cover mortgage and bills while he undergoes another round of surgery and therapy and she applies for disability. You can read more and support the fundraiser here.

Anon linked to a fundraiser for killiel, who needs help to cover bills and debt; you can read more, reblog, and find giving information here.

Recurring Needs:

Anon linked to a fundraiser for prototrans, a disabled artist who needs help with rent money; he is also offering commissions. You can read more, reblog, and find giving and commission information here.

Anon linked to karla-hoshi or Hoshi on TikTok, who is raising funds for cancer treatment for her cat Naku; they caught the cancer early and hope that he can survive it, but can't continue treatment without funding. You can read more and support the fundraiser here, as well as find links to her updates on tiktok.

chingaderita's partner recently lost their job due to a house fire that also destroyed the house; they're raising funds to keep food on the table, to try and get a supply of water to keep clean and do laundry, and for various bills until they can find new work. You can read more, reblog, and support the fundraiser here.

loversdoom is a college student from the Philippines, studying away from her family, and her parents are unexpectedly unable to support her education; she is in mounting debt and facing eviction from her dorm in her last semester of college. She's raising funds to repair her laptop so she can do her schoolwork and find a remote job that will help her pay rent, and to fund the remainder of her schooling. You can read more and reblog here and support the fundraiser here.

And this has been Radio Free Monday! Thank you for your time. You can post items for my attention at the Radio Free Monday submissions form. If you're new to fundraising, you may want to check out my guide to fundraising here.

#radio free monday #charity #philanthropy #fannish community

[ladyduellist]

Epistles of Saints & Sinners

Chapter Summary:

Things heat up in Astarion's tent after Tav offers to let him drink her blood.

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Story Summary:

When Astarion meets the humble bard, Tav, he soon finds out he's the only one between them that knows they are bound as soulmates through their marks. Deciding it's more trouble than its worth, he refuses to tell her along the course of their journey across Faerûn.

But, unbeknownst to him and their companions, Tav is harboring a gruesome secret that she only thought was nothing more than a traumatized period in her life.

As they both come to face to face with their pasts and presents, will they choose to move forward or let it consume them?

Healing isn’t linear—after all.

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Chapter 6: Ribbon*

Ao3

Next Chapter

Previous Chapter

Main Page & Chapter List

Word Count: 6.1k

Pairing: Astarion x female bard Tav

CW: Smut, CPTSD, Vaginal Fingering, Breast Play, Act 1 Spoilers

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For she is slowly being pulled by strands of the spinneret. A spider that sews his web with such intricacies, they are mistaken for complex pieces of his soul. The predator lures a victim into silken promises, and when finally ensnared, there will be no mercy for the fangs that drain them alive.

— Gale of Waterdeep, poetry from The Wilderness

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“I agreed to let him continue journeying with us at your convincing behest, after we found out he was a vampire and AFTER we learned he had already bitten you. I will not retract my decision on the matter, but you cannot expect me to fall back and watch as he takes advantage of our—your—good tidings. Tav you are one step away from being spun into his web, if you’re not there already,” Gale argued loudly.

Astarion sat on the edge of the ratty stool outside of his tent, polishing his daggers. He would, at times, tilt the point of his ear in the direction of the bitter heart-to-heart between the wizard and their humble bard, attempting to decipher each sentence his victim held firm to in her rebuttal. But, her pitch was that usual quiet sultry measure, like honey dripping onto berries, she carried and he couldn’t hear a damned word from her mouth.

Mouth. Her mouth. Their lips.

Ah, yes, he had tasted her the previous evening. Inside Tav’s tent, testing the pliancy of their lips against each other—she yielded to him. He had swiped his tongue across her bottom lip after a few preludes of longer, more downy, kisses until she mewled for him.

So delicately did her pecks tap, using her lips as a confessional upon each pore of his pallored shade. At one point, when she had felt bolder, she licked his upper lip with the tip of her moistened tongue. Astarion rewarded her with a groan, coercing her to glue herself to his chest with her own while he guided her hands to hold onto his broad shoulders.

And her eyes, those very wide orbs of storms. They searched. They searched. They searched. A risky assessment of his features; an oracle knocking on the undeath pane of his soul. He couldn’t stand it. Not a single one of his pillaged targets had ever sought him out in this manner, too enthralled with their own lusts. The meddlesome witch with the tempting gaze made his throat twist with sour spittle.

Lo, with a crown of stars fastened in her hair, she’s the queen of swords. To pierce the hearts of men and drain them of their festering cancers. Her eyes; the ocean—you’ll drown, you’ll drown, you’ll drown.

Oh, but the tides shortly fell from her court, right back into the shadow of his hands. Because her lips were swollen for him, so luscious towards the end of their interlude, that he pricked the spike of his fang into the dewy tissue of the lower vermilion of her lip. The tiniest beads of blood formed and he nursed upon them with sensitive suckles.

Astarion could hear the irregularity of her flitting heart, like the melody of a black-capped chickadee, and his soul mate mark began to pulse in tandem with her frolics. She quivered in his arms over and over again, with gasps and goose flesh along her arms, until their kisses slowed and he wished her a fair rest of the night.

This was the exact leverage he needed and she so readily provided it to him. The song she sang by the river—the longing in her voice—was for him. For a connection she so desperately wanted to believe was still alive in the world. And by the immoral scriptures hidden from saintly eyes, he would perform to her. He would take up the mantle, murmuring corruption in between her thighs until she was screaming his name. He would play the part of her lover and she would gladly be his defender.

Because she was touch-starved. Because she wanted tenderness. Because she would protect him from his former master.

With this, he would have some form of sanctuary. And if all of the stars aligned, Tav and the rest of this questionable gang would help him in his pursuit in true freedom from Cazador.

But, her wavering request of ”please, don’t hurt me” kept reappearing in his thoughts, as if it had been drawn in the fog of a tarry marsh.

“You’re protecting him? For Mystra’s sake, why?!” Gale’s continued goading grounded Astarion back to reality.

What? He could only hear the soft whispers of Tav’s voice, but judging by how Gale looked over her shoulder with a heavily creased brow in the vampire’s direction, her answer was unanticipated.

As Tav stalked off, boots creating clouds of dust leading out of the camp, Astarion stared at the back of her form long after she left, with the opinion that his tadpole must have consumed more of his brain matter than he originally thought.

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The pangs of hunger were unbearable.

Daggers in hands, freshly sharpened, Astarion stationed himself on the side of the dilapidated house. The overcast shadows of one of its walls provided the perfect hiding spot. Shadowheart crouched behind him, preparing a warding spell, trying to ghost the incantation with bitty utterings.

“Shh. I’m trying to concentrate,” he chastised under his breath.

In front of the building, he eyed Tav like a hawk as she sang to the oversized lard of an ogre. Her flexible fingers strumming the lute, she had been trying to distract the monster with an on-the-spot folk song called: It’s Never Ogre. He mocked her for the painfully moronic pun, while not acknowledging the slight upturned cordiality near the corner of his mouth.

Before they decided to confront the last beast of the Blighted Village, she told them her plan with her typical bashful confidence. She’ll play her notes with a garish tale of gluttonous delights, then, when she gave the signal, Astarion would sneak up behind the ogre with a devastating attack into his spinal cord—rendering it immobile. It was an attack the spawn had conducted enough times to the point of it becoming second nature.

His stomach churned again and he keeled over at his waist in pain, one of his weapons almost slipping out of his cold grip. Why the hells did he continue to condemn himself to this fate?! He was free damnit!

“Astarion, when was the last time you fed? I can hear your guts and dare I say you look deader than usual,” Shadowheart dismally questioned.

She peeked around his shoulder to glimpse at the concert their leader was desperately trying to continue with a phony smile plastered on her expression. “Just don’t get any ideas about my neck, fanger.”

He baited the Sharran cleric with an impudent fleer. “You’re assuming I’d even think about sinking my teeth into that darkness thickening your blood. You’ve forgotten, I was already there for two centuries.”

“Hush or we’ll miss the gesture.”

”Would you like an appetizer with dinner tonight? How about a plate of roaches? Eat up, my beloved spawn.”

Astarion shuddered exhaustively with each turn of his joints. He felt weak. Too weak for combat. During the last couple of evenings, he prowled the night, creeping upon deers and boars in the area. But, as he got close to his potential hunts, he would taste the chilled blood of decomposing rats on his palate.

He would recoil, like the obedient man he was for master. Instead, seeking out the familiarity of smaller woodland creatures in the vein of squirrels and rodents until they became too weary to descend their hiding places—knowing a strange predator was on the loose.

Tasting the ichor of the minstrel had made him too greedy. No. He was undeserving of the warmth that flowed throughout his body as he drank from a thinking creature. It was like being wrapped in a blanket on a crisp winter’s eve from the inside out and the only comfort of his sanguine life he was entitled to, were the corroded bits Cazador approved.

Submit to him. Draped in master’s arms while he feeds dribbles of red decay on your lips. His unholy communion. Body and blood of Cazador. Amen.

“Astarion! ASTARION! NOW! SHIT!!” Shadowheart was shaking him violently.

The shrill of Tav’s screams echoed throughout the rest of the vacant village as the ogre tightened his ginormous hand around her torso.

“Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!” Astarion panicked aloud as he regained his senses.

He ran forward with no time to sneakily assassinate the giant. Lunging on his back, the vamp grabbed onto rolls of fatty tissue to climb upwards. With the point of his blade raised, he carved through the air and stabbed it in the middle of his back, slicing through vertebrae. The ogre, thrown off balance, stumbled to the ground.

Astarion pulled out the dagger and lunged it a final time in the back of its head, a smell of foul blackness spewing from the wound, killing him immediately. Tav scrambled away from the slumped fiend’s body, coughing, gasping for breath.

Shadowheart ran to her side with a minor healing potion. “Hold still, let me at least check you for injuries.”

“I guess he hated the song after all,” she joked. “I think I’m fine. Maybe a few bruises. Are the two of you okay?”

Astarion trotted over to them flicking inky blood and greasy fat off his blades before sheathing them onto his back. “Nasty creatures those. I'm all for murdering our enemies, but maybe we could avoid the ones failing to practice good hygiene in the future.”

Tav smiled up at him with a breath of relief. “I’ll be sure to ask them ahead of time to bathe before we decide to play slaughter roulette.”

The cleric stood quickly, pointing her finger inches from his chest with circles of scorn spiraling in her eyes. “Lady of Loss guide me. Astarion, you were in a total state of haze! She almost died out there!”

Shadowheart wasn’t incorrect by placing her ill contempt on him. It was his fault. Being around the others with his newfound freedom had been nothing short of exhilarating thus far, but it proved to come with its complications, including these episodes he couldn’t seem to gain control over.

He scrunched his face dramatically. “I—well, he’s in his grave now, isn’t he? And here she is: alive and breathing with that golden voice still intact.”

“Ugh, fine. I’m not going to argue with you if you’re going to gloss over what just happened. Just know that if you don’t feed soon, you’re about as good of use to us as a corpse is—pun intended. Tav, I trust you’ll keep his bites in line.” Shadowheart trudged over rubble towards the ruinous home, likely in search of supplies before nightfall.

Astarion reached down, offering his arm out for Tav to grab onto. She wrapped her hand near the crook of his inner elbow and he easily pulled her body weight up in one heave, still keeping her in close proximity to him.

“You’re truly alright? I would offer to kill the piece of shit that harmed you, but it seems I’ve already done my good deed for the week,” Astarion sarcastically grinned.

“Must’ve been the line I inserted about a dwarf mocking their loincloths that riled him up,” she giggled.

“Serves you right then for singing such awful lyrics.”

She playfully punched his bicep. “But, aside from that, you could have told me last night that you needed blood.”

His eyebrows rose. There was a languid swallow to bite back another spasm rumbling from within. And one more to cower behind the rascal he summoned forth. “I seem to remember our focus being on other delights.”

Tav’s ears flushed. She folded her arms against her bust in what appeared to be mild indignation. “Astarion, I’m being serious. Please consider the danger you could be putting us or yourself in next time if your hunger is present to this extent. I would almost consider being heartbroken if you were harmed.”

Astarion was grateful she didn’t inquire further about his mishaps. He wasn’t ready to confront these diseased irreverent reflections, let alone pretending someone cared about him enough to confide in them about the personal affairs of his unbeating heart.

He moved his hand to lightly touch her cheek with the back of his fingers, offering her a pulpy grin. “Almost consider? I think you may have given away who your favorite companion might be! I’m just glad you didn’t wind up a mangled piece of meat, you daring minx. I don’t want you to go anywhere—just yet.”

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Tav couldn’t stop touching her lips.

They felt raw. Full of blood rushing from the memento of forbidden kisses shared, now the haunting sensation of a ripened plum being pushed against her.

The heat pooled between her thighs as she imagined how Astarion’s tongue might taste in her mouth. Several times she invited him to break through her barrier by licking smooth circles on his lips, but he would only pull back to settle germane brushes of his maw in the delicate reaches of her neck and cheeks. He intentionally held back.

Astarion was a complicated person, easily slipping his debonair mask back on when he needed it most. Living as a slave must have nearly stripped his entire identity away. But, those unbreakable shards that embedded themselves in the lemure silhouettes of his tarnished soul, were the ones Tav wished to know. Because now he walked a path of barbed shells and rubbery bones and she was hesitant to cross his boundaries, leaving her questions at rest—patiently waiting for what he wanted.

As she approached his tent—reciting to herself that she was only offering her blood to him as a means to an end for his hunger—she could see Astarion reclining on the rug in front, witnessing the disappearing sun giving way to night’s oil slick puddles stretching across the canvassed sky.

Her breath caught in her throat, much like when she observed him in the sun. With a pillow tucked under his elbows, he resembled a handsome tunic wearing emperor lounging in deep thought over his conversations with the planets.

“Good evening, my almost favorite rogue. Am I interrupting?”Did I just flirt with him? Gods!

Astarion flashed a teasing smirk. “And a pleasant evening to you, my almost favorite songbird. It’s quite a sight isn’t it? The night sky. I could take or leave that fashion sense of yours.”

Tav snorted. She looked down at her camp clothes, a blue ankle length skirt and light beige chemise she traded with scrolls. “My fashion? Well, I could take or leave your hunger for blood, but here we are!”

He lifted the side of his mouth to show off his canine to her. “Speaking of which,” he stood, rearranging his camp clothes, casting a coy impression. “—you were my first.”

Her eyes were wide as the moons. “Beg pardon?”

“Not that! I’ve feasted on beasts for two centuries, but you—you were the first thinking creature I’ve drank from. I can’t stop thinking about how delectable you tasted. Which brought me to ponder how the others might taste.”

“You’ve been looking at other necks? I actually think I’m a bit sad, Astarion.” Tav delicately placed a hand on her chest, in feigned hurt.

“Now, now, I’m a man of tremendous appetites. Take Shadowheart for instance, she has Calishite Absinthe written all over her, but what do you think about our local Blade of Frontiers?”

She scratched her cheek. ”Wyll? How about a simple sweet cider? Since, he’s such a man of the people.”

“Oh, that sounds very refreshing!” He chortled like a schoolboy.

“Though, you have stroked my curiosity. What did I taste like?” She asked innocently.

Astarion moved in closer to her, catching a strand of her dark ashen locks to play with in between his fingers. “Hmm. I think I may need a fresh sip of your blood to accurately describe the details to you.”

Biting her lower lip demurely, she peered into his garnet jeweled eyes with confidence upon her lungs and a drumming behind her rib cage. “Okay.”

“What?”

“Don’t you still need blood? Take mine.”

He lowered his hand to touch her previously bitten wrist, prudently feeling the healed wounds. “I—yes, I do. But, to make sure you invite me back to dine with you in the future, drops from a wrist isn’t going to suffice this time, my sweet.”

“Then, my neck. Would that be enough?” She posed assertively.

She noticed him modifying his stance to subtly adjust a certain part of himself in his pants. “…yes. It would or at least fill me enough so I can hunt. We can—my tent?”

Tav nodded, giving his arm a flimsy squeeze.

Instead of waiting for him to invite her inside his tent with whatever welcome mat of words he could conjure, she took it upon herself to enter. She noted the plain velveteen rococo pillows in different shapes he had thrown in a pile, a small candelabra lit off to the side with his recent reading material. Stacks of books they found in storages, bookshelves, and chests. A few jars of congealed blood and soiled rags strewn about. But, what caught her eye was a nondescript espresso colored keepsake box that sat under a neatly placed sewing kit.

She couldn’t help but smile warmly wondering what type of trinkets he bundled into the container. Was Astarion a sentimental man? Maybe he was a collector and kept defective coins inside. She swelled with elated tenderness at the remarkable novelty of it.

In the den of blood and evocation of chased pleasures of a thousand faces, a holy box of unknown covenants to a man stood untethered. To keep out the crusades of devils and evil tyrants, how far would the soul be sold?

“Looking for something?” The vampire blocked the entrance to his tent. Tav couldn’t read him, but she did notice the sift of vision fall in line with the box before turning back to her.

“N-no. Only admiring your decor. And here I was thinking you couldn’t possibly have more pillows to add to your repertoire.”

He closed the flap behind him, moving to sink on top of the plush pile. They both tossed their boots over towards a separate corner of the space. “I’m a maximalist when it comes to the luxuriant, including whose blood I choose to drink within my tent.”

The pale spawn’s posture straightened, he patted the space between his open legs, with a come-hither tone. “Forgive my eagerness, but shall we?”

The bard’s heart started to flutter thinking about the vicinity they were about to be in with each other, even if it was only to help out a friend. Friend. Is that what they were?

“How should I sit?”

Astarion beckoned her to come closer with a repetitive motion of his index finger and a seductive grin. Tav crawled over towards him. He drew a circle in the air with the same finger, gesturing for her to turn around. There was a nervous excitement dancing along the fine hairs of her skin when she obediently turned all the way around and sat on the ground in front of him.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and scooted her against him silently, save for the rustling of her skirt dragging. She melted as soon as her back clamped against the coolness of his chest. Unsure of how to position her legs, she bent them upwards, whilst letting the flats of her feet rest on one of the ornate cushions.

Tav could feel him gather the fountain of her wavy hair from her back, placing it over one of his shoulders to give him full allowance to nip at her neck. A waft of her lavender and vanilla scent burst out into a cloud from her wispy strands. Astarion inhaled deeply, gliding his hands from her waist up to sit on either side of her shoulders. She shivered when he leaned in to nuzzle his lips against the balm of her jugular vein.

“You know, I have a rather invasive curiosity you may be able to sate. A minor detail from your morning.”

The songstress tilted her head slightly away from him with inquisition on her mind. “And what would that be,” she breathed out.

“Gale of Waterdeep. What was it that you said that caused such outrage from him? Your conversation seemed rather—heated.” The vampire’s voice was a needling whisper against her skin, as he pecked the area he currently favored.

Tav puffed out a heady sigh. His fingers modestly skittered down her pale arms as if they were tendrils of vines seeking the charity of the sun. “Why would you like to know? Are you jealous of him, Astarion?”

He smirked, the upturned edges of his mouth tickling her neck. “Why ever would I be jealous? It is not him that’s leaving marks upon your body, Tav.”

He mildly bit down on her, unaccompanied by the piercing of his fangs. She cried out when he sucked leisurely on the spot, worrying the velvet of her tender neck in his mouth. Tav murmured a prayer in his name as he spread the thinnest layer of his spit around the sensitive spot. The sound of her name on his beautiful lips caused the fluid of her arousal to settle in between the inner folds of her cunt.

Tav felt so ashamed with her thoughts, succumbing to this man so wantonly that she had only met recently. Of the betrayal of wetness; of the desperation to know what comes next. If he requested her to suck on prayer beads being fed to her one by one by his long fingers to exhibit how lewd of a woman she had become—she would submit.

He removed his gaping mouth away from her long enough to speak. “You’re trembling again, much like the first time I had you in my mouth. Did you come here for a reward—for all you’ve done for me?”

Tav turned her head towards him as far as she was able, trying not to writhe in his arms. “I need no rewards. I just wanted to help you.”

Astarion tilted his head in towards the lobe of her ear, his breath a luring sweet chill of undeath. “Then, what exactly did you come here for? Surely, the reason wasn’t to only let me drink from you.”

Her head spun with lust for the want of him. Not only to quell the fervor her body organically felt for him, but also the unbridled tenebrae of his forgotten beating heart that she kept dipping her toes into. Wading in his twilight. She had never known hunger until this mysterious man came into her life.

And she wanted more.

“I came here for a distraction,” she panted, referencing back to a previous conversation they exchanged. Uncertainty bit at her worried lips about him, what he may be thinking or feeling. “But, Astarion, if you don’t want—

He traced cool brushes across the protruding bone of her clavicle, from one side to the other. “Shhh. Let me take care of you, darling.”

And then, Astarion’s voice was a lyrical cadence caressing her ear, “Let me speak to you of wandering.”

Gilded fingers swooped down her ribs, feeling each ridge until they momentarily grabbed onto her hip. With the vacancy of his other hand, he guided his knuckles to the side of her swollen breast, caressing its rounded shape. Tav felt the walls of her slit clench onto nothing. Her heartbeat sped up in anticipation like that of a small animal.

Closer and closer he drew to the front of her bosom, pulling out gasp after gasp from her until she felt faint. Tav seized his hand, rotating it so his digits could feel her perked teat through her clothes. She implored him to rub it with a “please.” He released a teasing chuckle behind her.

“So very impatient. Though, I have a confession. The first time I bit you, I could see your breasts peeking through your shirt and I wanted to outline the letters of my name on your nipples,” he breathed into the shell of her ear.

He pulled down her chemise, letting her bountiful chest spill free. A pale index finger circled around the spun sugary pink of an areola, eliciting a carefree vibrato from the bard. He tested her sensitivity by giving her nipple a soft pinch. Tav squirmed as he held her, holding onto the wrist delivering his ministrations for dear life.

Astarion kissed the back of her shoulder, a gratifying hum, a low roll on her skin. “Mm. You react so exquisitely to my touch. Should I start with the letter ‘A’?”

Gods, she wanted to scream. She would remove the crown of regal flowers from her head, to smear his want in each crevice of her mouth. He could order her onto her knees, pushing the tip of his cock past her sumptuous lips with promises to anoint her with his cum and she would obey. To allow him to claim her for the depraved woman she wanted to be for him.

“Answer me,” he said roughly, squeezing her whole breast in his hand.

“Please trace your name on me,” she whimpered with an embarrassed huff.

The scrape of the vamp’s fangs were at her neck and she imagined what it would feel like for his sanguine fascination to nip at her tits. The stitch of his razored cuspids mixed with bloody desire. Tav hadn’t confided in him about how aroused biting in general made her or the fact that she had sunk her fingers several times over into her wet hole, remembering how the initial pain of him biting her wrist felt.

He rubbed the tip of her pertness with his thumb in strokes and swooshes, spelling out his name possessively on her flesh. “A. S. T. A. R. I. O. N. Look at you. Being such a good girl for me. Let me see where else I can wander.”

Astarion startled her when he shifted and the grip on her hip went slack. His hand appeared near her foot where the hem of her skirts dangled. He toyed with material of her silken stockings, dangerously lifting up her skirts enough to sift his fingers up and down her clothed shin. The icy touch halted near her inner ankle before he tantalizingly dragged the fabrics upwards, where his limber fingers left a trail of glacial tingles along her leg.

Her eyes clenched shut when the compass of his touch made it to her knee. “Astarion, keep going. Don’t stop,” Tav rasped.

Further up his descent he drifted, reaching the halfway point of her inner thigh. He forced the rest of her skirts up to rest by her hips in one swift motion.

“And what do we have here?” Astarion skimmed his touch along the ribbon tied around her thigh, holding up the hidden lace trimmed silk of her hosiery. “Such forbidden raptures concealed from the world. Did you wear these in hopes I would see them?”

Tav gulped. She answered him with a suggestive moan. Her body tensed as he stroked his fingers between the stocking and the creaminess of her thigh. The folds of her slit were bathed in fluids; her smalls were soaked from her neediness.

There was a sharp intake of his breath, a certain gluttonous deprivation she could detect. He urgently pressed her ass back into his pelvis and she could feel everything. The salivating length of his cock, the perfect girth of it, most of all—how devastatingly hard he could get.

Sensually, he gnawed at her ear lobe. “Gods. Can you feel what you’re doing to me?”

Aloud she whined for him, twitching in his arms. He continued to pinch and pull at her nipple with one hand, while the other tumbled closer, closer, closer to her heaven. He slithered his fingers to frisk the hem of her smalls, drafting the threads delicately stitched along the outer edges.

Astarion kneaded his hand into the space between her thigh and her dripping filth, encouraging her legs to widen. “Reach down and spread yourself for me.”

The smoldering flush overtaking her body was nearly unbearable. But, he was commanding her with a carnally low voice and she wanted, no, needed to surrender to him. And so, she reached down betwixt her pale thighs—like the good pet she wished to be—to push her smalls to the side, timidly spreading the outer lips of her labia.

Clit throbbing to the exposed air, Astarion wasted no time in drawing foreign symbols around it. He circled her nub with his index finger, spreading her gathered slick as if he were savoring the sweetest of desserts before allowing himself to swallow it down.

“Oh my gods…,” Tav managed to stutter out. His fingers were slowly pulling her to nirvana with his golden chilled scald.

For the last several nights, she had thought about his hands on her, guiding her to a blinding light of pleasure. She had never been embraced in such a hedonistic, yet tenderly amatory way in her lifetime. He was practiced in his persuasive dynamics, but he treated her like she was the only woman alive that could bring rhapsody to his aching frenzy. That she was his to keep and place inside that little curio box he kept tucked away for his own bliss.

Two of his fingers dipped down into her gaping hole and a lilt of an impassioned wail came undone from her throat. She had tears in her eyes from all the sensations she felt. Tav thought for years that a man would never caress her again, that she couldn’t bear to let another physically have admission to the spectrums of her ecstasy. But, Astarion roused a blistering zeal she had been petrified was completely emptied out of her from her last relationship.

He easily entered her, rocking her back and forth on his digits. “I can’t believe how your cunt drips for me, lover.”

But, he doesn’t stop the firm thrusting of his long fingers into her canal. He gave her no breadth of room to steady her breathing. His fingers crooked into that spongy spot within her and she perilously concentrated to keep her lips open wide for him. The songstress’s pitch, once mere murmurs of dew drops falling from leaves into the soft earth, became lewd church bells of lamenting convictions sobbing his name.

“Ast—Astarion! Astarion. Ahhhhh. Oooo.”

Deftly does he move his hand from her breast to her mouth. He placed his index and middle fingers in front of her crying lips, coaxing it to open. A long exerted sigh of warmed air left her lungs as she readily—so hastily—accepted his agile instruments into her wet orifice. Tav greedily slid her tongue between his fingers, offering the loveliest of sucklings to them as a succubus’s groan filled her mouth. The holy water of her saliva could not keep him out.

Her body turned pliable when he nibbled near the point of her ear, flicking her earring with his tongue. She sighed around the intrusions in between her lips, finding herself grinding her backside along his hard cock. He stilled her with a thumb pressing along her aroused clit.

Astarion alternated between gentle languorous pumps into her drenched slit and rubbing her sensitive bundle of nerves. He softly stroked from the middle of her vagina up to her unhooded clit, applying slow thrums of taps when she whimpered for him to keep going. Then, he slid his fingers in the shape of a ‘V’ down her inner labia lips slowly until he reached the entrance of her sex, encircling it gently.

The further he prepped her for climax, the more her spit coated his fingers and dribbled down her chin in an immodest show of her starved paradise. The woman within his arms begged for release with her body the more she sacrificed herself to him.

There was a howling wind knocking at his tent and cicadas drowning out their debauched acts. Astarion was washing her ashore with his fingers moving like honey exploring her insides. Her pearl was his to enrapture and he was massaging it so sweet.

“I’m close,” the songbird whispered into the dimly lit space of their sins.

“Sing for me,” he keened.

Then, his fangs were biting into the ripe juncture of her neck and he was drinking her like a carafe of water. The blood was flowing in a deluge of puddles into his mouth, ribbons of merlot streaming from the wound. And the noises he made as if she belonged to only him, sent a twinge of secretions to her nether regions she didn’t realize she could still create.

He lifted up from his supper long enough to tell her to cum for him and she did. She begged and screamed around his fingers in muffled phrases of “I want you inside me” and “ oh my gods, Astarion.” Waves washed over her body in a rite of passage ceremony, contracting around his willowy fingers as they slowed their propels.

As the quakes started to subside, Tav removed saliva soaked fingers from her mouth and tugged on his silvery curls, ripping his face towards her from his drink. Her half-lidded pools of blue bore into the crimson of his eyes. The smells of her vitality and sexual energy were heavy in the air, a luring mixture of creeds continually inviting him in. She stared at the bloody nectar flowing down his chin—the smears stained across his mouth—and crushed her lips against his.

The vampire spawn moaned into her mouth, then pulled back from the kiss. He pulled out his fingers from her quivering heat and cupped her cheek, her musky elixir permeating her skin. His eyes foraged hers, shifting back and forth, as if he were seeking spiritual redemption. And she waited. She waited for him to discover one of the unspoken truths she could not explain.

Finally, he kissed her back, with a salty musk and rich caramel taste thick on his tongue as he stuck part of it in her mouth. Then, there was a frantic impulse where they were placing open-mouthed kisses on each other's hands, necks, and faces. Tav turned around, her breasts still unsheltered and her juices leaking down her thighs, as Astarion wrapped his arms around her back pulling her into him. She threw her arms around his neck and the need to cover herself with his scent from his cool body was insatiable.

Struggling to breathe, she reached down to tear his billowy shirt from his pants. “I want to make you feel good too.”

But, he grabbed her calloused hands and pressed the back of them to his blood-stained lips with soothing pecks. “Not tonight, my dear. You have done more than enough.”

Tav retreated from him with a concerned smile, sitting back on her knees. The spell is now broken and self-consciousness festered within the small space. Something felt—off.

He reached for a few of the rags he kept and aided her in after care. With composure, he wiped her wetness away, then grinned impishly as he cleaned her lips and mouth of her red nectar. Delicately, he pulled her chemise back up over her chest, giving a final rub to her exposed shoulders.

There was a mournful dance behind his eyes and she wanted to lead him from his demons to lay his head in the cathedral of her lap. What’s wrong? She wanted to sing, stepping on airy tiptoes. Her thoughts were oscillating as her heart panged in an act of guilt and a bloom of feelings she wanted to extinguish. What they just did—meant something to her—but she wasn’t sure it did to him.

By the hells, she wanted to tell him. That he made her feel wanted. That she never thought touch could feel like deliverance. That he was wanted too. And she would follow him through his odyssey of entrails because she cared about him with the passing second. But, it’s a conversation she didn’t know how to have.

“I should probably head back to my tent before anyone becomes too nosey,” Tav laughed anxiously.

He simpered silently, opening his flap to the entrance.

She smoothed down her locks, heading for the exit, forbidding herself to look back at him.

”Tav?”

Fuck. “Hmm?” Briefly, she glanced over her shoulder.

“To answer your question earlier about how your blood tastes—” He moved awkwardly, a fleeting expression of contemplation present.

“Yes?”

“You taste like ambrosial blackberries and…a ballad of home.”

#baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate astarion #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 astarion #baldurs gate tav #baldur's gate #astarion x tav #bg3 tav #tav #astarion #astarion fanfic #astarion acunin #bg3 spoilers #bg3 #bg3 fanfic #epistles of saints & sinners #bard tav #spawn astarion #female tav #fem!tav

[x--daughters-of-darkness--x]

NIGHTWISH Singer And SABATON Drummer Welcome Their Second Child

NIGHTWISH singer Floor Jansen and SABATON drummer Hannes Van Dahl have welcomed their second child, a daughter named Lucy.

Jansen and Van Dahl already have a six-year-old daughter named Freja, who was born on March 15, 2017.

The Dutch-born vocalist revealed the news in a social media post earlier today (Friday, October 20). She shared a photo of her, Hannes, Freja and Lucy holding hands, and she wrote: "There she is! With great happiness we can announce the birth of our second daughter Lucy! Big sister Freja is delighted with our dark haired little girl too!

"Health is not a given fact, and so it's humbling to report that both our baby girl as mom are in a great one! We are enjoying these special moments to the fullest and ask for understanding of our privacy in this intimate time! Big thanks for all the love and support we received during the pregnancy! We have now welcomed our dear Lucy into this beautiful world".

Shortly before Freja was born, Hannes was asked by Spain's Metal Journal whether his family situation would have an impact on his ability to tour with SABATON. Hannes said: "Well, you know, as far as I'm concerned, nothing will really change, 'cause this is what I do, an this is… this is what I do to make a living. People have had kids before in this business. So, to stop any worries — 'cause I know a lot of people are worried [about me] quitting the band — I will stay in the band. And as far as I can say, when it's time, I need to go and be there with my family. But when I've done that, I'm going back to touring. So I won't leave. I will be there."

Jansen herself had spoken about the challenges of raising a child while being in a touring band like NIGHTWISH. She told Finland's Radio Rock in 2016: "Of course, it's a very challenging combination, and I was very happy that the way [NIGHTWISH is] today — or, actually, have always been — it's a very open group; we can talk about things. And the guys, actually, were curious. A few months ago, we started talking about it, like, 'So, 2017… How about kids? Yeah?' So it's great to think about things together: how can we combine it? Also 'cause my partner is in a successful band, touring a lot. Yeah, then you need the cooperation of the people that you are family with also. So I am not afraid that won't work. It will be a challenge, for sure, but, yeah, a little SABATON or NIGHTWISH daycare program sounds lovely, doesn't it? [Laughs]"

Jansen also dismissed rumors that she would leave the band after welcoming her first child. She told Mariskal Rock TV: "No, I won't [quit NIGHTWISH]. I love this way too much; don't worry. You don't even have negative speculations one way or another. Things are great, and let's keep on doing this forever."

NIGHTWISH played its last concert before its current break from touring on June 17 at Lemonsoft Stadion in Vaasa.

In November 2022, Floor revealed that she was "cancer free" after undergoing surgery to have a tumor removed following a breast cancer diagnosis.

In April, NIGHTWISH surprised fans by announcing that the band was not going to be playing any live shows for the foreseeable future and would be not be touring in support of the group's next studio album, which is tentatively due in 2024.

Floor's debut solo album "Paragon", arrived in March.

As part of NIGHTWISH, Jansen has landed two number one albums in Finland, and Top Five albums in Austria, France, Germany, Greece, Hungary, the Netherlands, Norway, Sweden and Switzerland.

Born in the Netherlands, Jansen joined her first band, one of the world's first symphonic metal bands, AFTER FOREVER, when she was only 16 years old. The group went on to release five albums from 2000 to 2007, before they broke up in 2009.

Jansen's next band, REVAMP, released two albums in 2010 and 2013, before she joined NIGHTWISH as a full-time member. NIGHTWISH's first album with Jansen as the lead singer was 2015's "Endless Forms Most Beautiful", which landed in Top 10s around the world. This was followed by 2020's "Human. :II: Nature." , which was also an international success.

Jansen has toured extensively with the band and appeared on three of NIGHTWISH's live albums "Showtime, Storytime", "Vehicle Of Spirit" and "Decades: Live In Buenos Aires".

In 2019, Jansen participated in the popular Dutch TV show "Beste Zangers" where she scored a big hit with "Phantom Of The Opera" together with Henk Poort. She was recognized with a Dutch Popprijs award — a prestigious accolade for artists that has made important contributions to Dutch music. In the same year, her first solo tour sold out in less than 24 hours.

Jansen performed live with NIGHTWISH for the first time on October 1, 2012 at Showbox Sodo in Seattle, Washington following the abrupt departure of the band's lead singer of five years, Anette Olzon. Jansen officially joined NIGHTWISH in 2013.

#floor jansen #nightwish #Hannes Van Dahl #sabaton #2023 news

[three--rings]

God looking through my drafts from the past two+ months, everything that's been going on for me. My accident, Lahaina, other stuff I haven't publicly talked about, there just post after post in there that I wrote to vent and never published.

Part of why I haven't had a lot of bandwidth for other serious shit going on in the world is that...my family is dealing with a lot. My family is still living in the aftermath of a devastating tragedy, everyone they know dealing with unthinkable loss. Every phone conversation with my mom I hear another story about people burned alive. Yanno?

Plus, I'll just say it, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer shortly after the fire and has been undergoing treatment for that. We're still in the middle of that. And I'm basically housebound with my own medical issues.

This one is going in drafts, too, huh.

Two weeks later pulling it out of drafts to post. My mom came through her surgery okay, still has to do a bunch of radiation, I'm trying to plan a trip to see her while still being mostly unable to walk. It's a thing.

#personal

[mariacallous]

SAN FRANCISCO (J. Jewish News of Northern California via JTA) — Dianne Feinstein was an eshet chayil, the Hebrew term for a woman of valor, Rabbi Jonathan Singer proclaimed in his opening remarks on Thursday at a memorial service for the U.S. senator who died Sept. 29 at 90.

The event outside San Francisco City Hall was attended by about 1,500 invited guests, all gathered to remember a pathbreaking politician who spent a decade as the city’s first woman mayor.

Singer, the co-senior rabbi of Congregation Emanu-El — the same synagogue where Feinstein, then Dianne Goldman, was confirmed as a teenager in 1949 — shared the English words of Psalm 23, which begins, “God is my shepherd.” Cantor Roz Barak, Emanu-El’s cantor emerita, sang the psalm in Hebrew.

“She feared no evil, as she courageously pursued justice as a leader in the Senate,” Singer said. “And she gave us hope that we Americans can always be inspired by the values of democracy, even as we walk at times through the valley of shadows.”

San Francisco Mayor London Breed, Vice President Kamala Harris, former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Sen. Chuck Schumer were among the prominent speakers. President Joe Biden delivered a recorded message.

“God bless a great American hero. She was something else,” Biden said. “She was a dear friend.”

The service took place on an exceptionally hot San Francisco day, punctuated by the Blue Angels flying overhead as part of Fleet Week, which Feinstein was responsible for establishing in 1981 to honor the armed forces. “Fleet Week would be dedicated to you,” Pelosi noted as the roar of the jets caused her to pause.

Many of the guests, including current and former members of Congress, accented their formal attire with sun hats and baseball caps and fanned themselves with the memorial programs as the sun beat down. A building-sized portrait of Feinstein was displayed outside City Hall, where Feinstein lay in state on Wednesday before a private, family-only burial after the service.

In his remarks, Schumer told a story about his colleague, recalling how she called him in New York shortly after his daughter Alison moved to San Francisco.

“Does your daughter have anywhere to go for the High Holiday services?” Feinstein asked him. He replied that she did not. “Well, then, she’s going to services with me.”

(Feinstein and her third husband, Richard Blum, joined Reform Congregation Sherith Israel in 1992, though it is unknown how long they were members.)

Schumer worked closely with Feinstein to pass the federal ban on assault weapons in 1994. “Dianne Feinstein was a leader of uncommon integrity,” the New York senator said.

Harris described Feinstein as “an American patriot, a giant of the Senate and a dear friend” to her and her husband, Doug Emhoff.

“Dianne commanded respect, and she gave respect. She was a serious and gracious person who welcomed debate and discussion, but always required that it was well informed and studied,” the vice president said.

Pelosi said Feinstein was not only a close colleague in Congress but also a good neighbor in Pacific Heights, their San Francisco neighborhood.

“Dianne loved cultivating people, and flowers,” Pelosi said, describing the hydrangeas growing in Feinstein’s yard as “the most fabulous.” She also knew the senator to be quite the matchmaker and credits her with pairing former Gov. Jerry Brown and his wife, Ann Gust.

Feinstein was also an avid painter, giving her friends mugs and painted images of her homegrown flowers, Pelosi said.

Pelosi read off a list of legacies Feinstein leaves behind, including fighting to save San Francisco’s cable cars; authoring legislation to create the breast cancer stamp that benefited research; doggedly battling to pass the federal assault weapons ban; and starting the annual Lake Tahoe Summit with former Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid in 1997.

“She left on her own terms,” Pelosi said, recalling Feinstein’s final vote, a day before she died. “She walked into the [Senate] floor and voted to advance legislation to keep the government open for the people,” she said.

John Burton, who served in Congress and the state Assembly and chaired the Democratic Party in California, provided written remarks read aloud by Breed. “She had chutzpah, and I loved her for it,” Burton wrote.

Eileen Mariano, Feinstein’s 31-year-old granddaughter and the final speaker at the hourlong memorial service, described the warm, grandmotherly woman she was behind the scenes.

Feinstein would cut her granddaughter’s hair in her kitchen, often slightly crooked, Mariano joked. “She taught me to play chess, although she hated losing,” she remembered, and would sing “You Are My Sunshine” as a lullaby.

“We had an effortless connection,” said Mariano, who works in the San Francisco mayor’s office.

Among the Jewish elected officials in attendance were Sen. Barbara Boxer, who was elected alongside Feinstein in 1992, becoming the first Jewish women to win seats in the Senate; California state Sen. Scott Wiener; San Francisco Supervisor Aaron Peskin; Sacramento Mayor Darrell Steinberg; Rep. Adam Schiff of Southern California; and Sen. Jon Ossoff of Georgia.

“Let’s remember what she meant to San Francisco,” Wiener said in a statement. “She became mayor during one of the most difficult periods imaginable for our city. She led San Francisco out of the fires of political assassinations, mass cult suicides, and a mass die-off of gay men due to a new, terrifying virus.”

Heading out after the memorial, Steinberg stopped to share his thoughts. “She represented the best in Jewish values,” he said. “As a public servant, she embodied what we need more of in this country — leaders who have strong values, who fight but fight in the right way and are always looking for common ground. And the one thing that matters more than anything else: accomplish something on behalf of the people. That was Dianne Feinstein.”

[kylejsugarman]

fuck it. little bit of ayuluk family history and background. demi's dad, sam henry ayuluk, was a truck driver who was raised by a conservative yupik family trying to fully integrate into western culture. her mom, josephine, was a elementary school teacher; her family was more in touch with their native culture, so they are all fluent in central alaskan yup'ik and josephine taught her three children to speak it. the two married in their thirties (sam henry had previously been married and divorced), and their first child was samantha. four years later, they had demi; five years after that, they had their only boy, mason. sam henry was an alcoholic and eventually a coke addict to stay awake during long drives, and was verbally and physically abusive towards his family. from a young age, demi voluntarily singled herself out for abuse to keep her mom safe, as he was particularly violent towards her; she did the same for mason when he was born. sam henry died of cirrhosis when demi was 16. shortly after his death, samantha was in a car wreck on her way home from a party and broke her leg and several ribs, for which she was prescribed hydrocodone. her genetic predisposition for addiction and the incredibly stressful, traumatic environment that she grew up in caused samantha to develop a severe opioid addiction. when samantha was 22, she was impregnated by a fellow user and friend: she wasn't able to access abortion care, so she tried her best to quit cold turkey until she gave birth to a little girl that she named baby. meanwhile, demi started attending university of alaska fairbanks when she was 17 on a full ride scholarship, where she obtained her undergraduate degree and immediately entered their department of veterinary medicine as a doctoral candidate. demi graduated with her doctoral degree when she was 24, shortly after which she returned home to haines because her mother was suffering with metastasized breast cancer (mason dropped out of high school at age 17 to take care of her) and her sister was in need of help for her addiction. just a few weeks after demi came back home, samantha overdosed in the family home and died; a four-year-old baby found her body. josephine died of cancer two months later. as baby's godmother, demi assumed custody of her and started living in the family home with her and mason while she tried to establish a sustainable veterinary practice from the underfunded kennel in town. at age 26, demi is getting her practice off the ground and still living in her old house with baby and mason, which is the age at which she meets jesse

#syd squeaks #im so fucking sorry. this is mostly for myself (as if its not entirely for myself because no one asked) #I have everyone here....the whole gang #demi ayuluk #baby ayuluk #mason ayuluk #samantha ayuluk #josephine ayuluk #sam henry ayuluk #jesse pinkman

[sallysgrancanwrite]

Chapter Seventy-Four

Masterlist.

A week later Edith prepared for surgery. She was nervous but, Bob helped to calm her. He had total faith they would get all the cancer.

“You’re in good hands honey.” Bob told her. “He’s a great surgeon and they caught the cancer early so they should be able to get it all.” He comforted her.

“You seem to have enough faith for both of us,” said Edith. “I’m trying to remain calm and optimistic.”

Dr Clark walked in to talk to them before surgery.

“Hi Edith, how are you feeling?” He asked.

“I’m nervous but I trust you.” She said.

“We can give you something to calm down a bit. Don’t worry, everything will be okay. I have to ask everyone to go wait in the family waiting room. We’re about to get started.” He told them.

Edith told them goodbye and Bob leaned down and kissed her.

“I love you and I’ll be right there when you wake up.” Bob told her.

“I love you too, honey.” Edith told him.

Chloe, beth and Bob all anxiously waited in the waiting room. They had a family friend watching Emma today.

Bob paced while they waited. He would never let Edith know, but he was nervous too.

Bob, come sit down and Beth and I will go get us all some coffee.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to pace so much. I’ll sit down. Coffee would be nice.” He told them.

Chloe and Beth went to get coffee when they ran into Alan.

“Oh, hi Chloe. What a nice surprise to see you.” Alan said with a smile.

“Hi Alan. What brings you here?” Chloe asked him.

“I’m just visiting a friend. What brings you here?” He asked.

“Edith is having surgery.” She told him.

“Oh, I hope nothing serious.” He replied.

“Actually they are removing a lump they found. But we’re confident that it will be fine.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. I hope it goes well. I should let you go and I will go visit my friend. It was great to see you again. Oh, thanks for the fun evening last weekend.”

“You’re welcome. You’ll have to come again.” said Chloe.

“I’ll do that.” He told her.

Chloe and Beth got all of them coffee and headed back. Bob was pacing once again.

“Bob, here's your coffee, come sit down.” Chloe told him.

“I just wish they would tell us something. It’s been forever it seems.” He replied.

“It’s only been a couple hours. They tell us something in a bit I’m sure.” Beth said.

“I’m sure things are fine.” Chloe said, trying to comfort him.

They sat a made small talk for another hour. Finally a nurse came out.

“She’s in recovery. You can see her now. The Dr will come talk to you in a while.” The nurse said.

They all followed her back to where Edith was resting. She opened her eyes when they came in.

“Hi,” she said groggily. “Has the Dr said anything yet?” She asked.

“Not yet. The nurse said he’ll be in shortly.” said Bob, holding her hand and giving her a kiss.

They sat quietly with her while she got some rest.

An hour later the Dr came in to talk to them.

“Doc, how did it go?” asked Bob.

“It went well. She did great and I think we got it all. However, to be sure we took the whole breast. The lump was quite large. She’ll have to start chemotherapy.” He told them.

“Thank you Doc.” said Bob as the doctor left.

“How do we tell her they had to take her breast?” Beth whispered.

“I’ll tell her gently when she wakes up,” said Bob. “You two go get something to eat. I’ll sit with her.” Bob told them both.

“Okay, but we won’t be gone long. Do you want us to bring you anything?” Beth asked.

“Just more coffee.” Bob replied.

The girls left and Bob tried to think of a way to tell Edith the news.

Edith slowly started to come around. She was still a bit tired but wanted to know if the Dr had been by yet.

“Yes honey, he was here a little bit ago,” said Bob.

“How did the surgery go? Did they get the cancer?” Asked Edith.

“He thinks they got it all. Honey, to be sure they had to take your breast.” Bob told her, waiting for her to cry or something. In the end she took it very well.

“Okay. We’ll as long as they got all the cancer then I’m okay with it.” She told him.

“You have to start chemotherapy to be sure it’s gone.” Bob told her.

“I kind of expected that to be honest.” She told him.

The girls came back and asked Bob if he told her yet.

“Yes, he told me, and I’m okay. I just wanted the cancer gone. That’s what is important.” She told the girls.”And it seems to be. We can be thankful for that.

#original fiction #original story #writeblr

[spnshortcake]

Diagnosis

A/N: this may be triggering to others, please read at your own discretion. Minors DNI.

Pairing: Jake x reader!

This is to celebrate @rosiahills22 for being breast cancer free! I’m so happy for you and this is some great news! I wrote this for you to celebrate I hope you like it.

………………………………………………………………………………….

“Baby, you got to get up to get dressed.” Jake your husband of five years whispered in your ear. You start stirring and you groan.

“Five more minutes Jake, I wanna cuddle.” You smile as you pull him in closer and put your head on his chest as he rubs your head.

“Alright alright. Just five for minutes, then we need to get ready to go to your appointment.” He explained.

Today is the day. You look up at him and sigh.

“I really don’t want to go” you finally pushed yourself off him. And he smiles at you.

“Sweetie I know but, you have to. I know the uncertainty feels so scary. But you are the strongest woman I know. We can get your favorite , tamales after we are finished.”

“I love you Jake. I don’t know if I could do this without you.” You smile as he leans in to kiss you. You have lots of testing and blood work to do today.

………………………………………………………………………………….

“I have an appointment with Dr Staten. Name is y/n l/n” you told the front desk receptionist. You look back at all the women in the lobby and see Jake sitting down close to the door.

“Okay just fill out these papers and bring it back with your ID and insurance.” She handed you a clipboard with paperwork to fill out and you smiled back at her and made your way to sit next to Jake.

He sat by you with his hand on your thigh rubbing it noticing your anxiousness as you felt out the paperwork getting your ID and Insurance card out of your purse placing it on top.

“Thank you y/n your dr will call you back shortly.” The front desk receptionist told you as she got the clipboard from you. You sit back down by Jake and start thumping your leg up and down as you watch everyone around you getting called back. You hate needles and also hate the uncertainty of everything.

“Y/N?” A nurse came out and said your name and you looked at jake and y’all both made y’all’s way to the door but she stops jake.

“I’m sorry but no visitors allowed you’ll have to stay out here. She should be done in about an hour.” You look at your husband and he runs his hand over your back and kisses your forehead.

“I’ll be waiting right here sweetie.” He made his way back to his chair. You turn back to the lady and y’all make y’all’s way down the long hallway. You think to yourself when will this end. This is so never ending.

“Room 13.” She points as you make it to your tiny room and sit on the bed. The  parchment paper crinkles under you and she shuts the door. You take in your surroundings and just have so much anxiety. You try to make your breathing more slow but you can’t. You feel as the walls start coming closer and you start panicking.

Then the door opens snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Hi y/n I see we are here for some concerns. Are you experiencing any pain right now?” She asks as she starts typing at her computer.

“Well right now yes I am. It’s about a 7.5 right now.”

“Well we definitely will have to do some blood work and even an ultrasound. We will then see what everything says and we will rather a plan if needed.”

You nod at her as another nurse, the ultrasound tech comes in. “My name is Natalie and I’m gonna be doing your ultrasound.”

The gel is very cold and you try to look at the screen as she starts looking at everything. You start freaking out cause you try to understand the ultrasound making you think you see something. The tech is quiet as she continues you start thinking the worst and trying to keep calm and not crying.

“Okay that’s all I’ll go show the dr and she will come back to tell you the results” she starts getting up and helps you clean yourself with a towel.

“Hi y/n my name is Stephanie and I’m here to take your blood work.” You nod as she puts the tubes down on a little tray and you see three you hate needles so you look at her.

“I hate needles. You would think after all the years I would not be so nervous.” You chuckle trying to make you feel better.

“It’s okay it’s a little sting at the beginning I don’t like them either and I am always poking everyone. I try to be quick. We only need 3 tubes so not so bad.” She explains as she start cleaning your right arm and starting your bloodwork you look away as the sting happens and then you always try not to look but it always makes you curious as to see. You watch as she works fast feeling up all three tubes and she closes them putting you a bandage around your elbow.

“That wasn’t so bad” you look ay her as she starts cleaning up her area.

“We are all set and you can go wait in the waiting area for your results they should be back in the hour.” You walk out to she Jake and he he pulls you close.

“The results will be within the hour. I’m so nervous. I swear I could see something on the ultrasound.” You start crying he wipes your tears.

“Sweetheart don’t do that. You just have to wait. You think you saw something but don’t read to much into it. The dr will tell you.” Jake says to you trying to make you feel better. It felt like an eternity before the dr called your name again. You sit back in a smaller room with a desk and chair.

“Well we did an ultrasound and blood work. The blood work shows your blood cell count and the ultrasound just scans to see if anything abnormal is in your breasts or anywhere else. The scan came back clear and your blood cell count was normal. So you don’t have any cancer. But we will like to do a follow up in 6 months just to make sure again. But as of right now you are clear.”

When she said that you immediately started crying. Not sad but so thankful. You was so anxious and nervous about these tests just because you had a few people in your family have breast cancer and you just was so scared you would have it. You walk out to Jake and he looks worried.

“Can we talk about it in the car.” You look at him.

“Of course sweetie I just put an order in for tamales and we can talk about it whenever you want. Let’s go baby.” He opens your car door for you and goes to the drivers side and starts the car. He looks at you trying to read your mind or your body language.

“I don’t have cancer jake. Everything came back normal. But she just wants me to come back in six months just to do another scan!” You smile and he pulls you into a hug.

“Oh thank god baby! That’s such great news!! I was beginning to worry. How do you feel??”

“Honestly, I’m so overwhelmed will joy I just was so scared and now everything is normal. I just am so grateful. Thank you so much for being there for me baby.” You lean over the middle console to give him a kiss he puts his hands on the side of your face pulling you in closer deepening the kiss. He finally pulls away putting his forehead on yours looking at you.

“You are so gorgeous my sweet love. Now let’s go get your tamales and a margarita.” You chuckle as he pulls out of the parking lot. You look out your window as you hold jakes hand and smile to yourself.

Thank god for him and for no cancer. You can finally enjoy your day and not have to worry about it.

………………………………………………………………………………….

I hope you enjoyed this! I am so happy for your good news!! My grandma had it and she has been 3 years no cancer and it’s just been such a process and I couldn’t imagine how scared and nervous you where! I’m so happy you don’t have it. Now just get some rest and cuddles from you family today!!

A/N: this is yet to be proofread so please bare with my mistakes. My requests are OPEN if you would like to request anything! Also, you can find my other writings here in my Masterlist.

Love,

Elizabeth

#fuck cancer #imagines #fluff #fanfic #random reblog #jake hangman seresin #jake x reader #top gun movie #top gun 2 #sweet

[omniblades-and-stars]

fanfic asks L, O, U :3

L:  Which of your fanfics was the most emotionally challenging to write?

Hm, in the short term, I wrote a very short shotgun blast of sad feelings called "Empty". I wrote it one morning shortly after my little brother was diagnosed with breast cancer. But it was emotionally challenging because I was already in a state of very low emotions.

I'd have to say that one of the things I'm working on right now that I have only shared a couple of lines here and a little bit elsewhere is currently the thing that is the most emotionally challenging. It will be dealing a lot with a post-destroy ending Shepard and the PTSD, grief and survivors' guilt that would come along with living through something like that.

O: What are your thoughts on people writing fanfic of your fanfic?

If something I wrote inspired someone to write based of my story, I think I might actually cry. I feel like that would be really special.

U: Is there a pairing you would like to write, but haven’t tried yet.

I would like to write Shepard/Tali and literally anything from Andromeda, pairing or no. Oh, I also think Miranda/Shepard is fértile ground for exploring themes and feelings that are nebulous to me at this very moment because of the brain fog, but I would like to do that sometime.

#this is my ask game tag now

[hellfirecoded]

(  JOSEPH QUINN  |  CIS-MALE  |  HE/HIM  |  TWENTY-FIVE  )  — — —  it's  just  been  another  long  week  in  boring  -  ass  hawkins.  isn't  that  right,  EDDIE MUNSON  ?  shit,  i  guess  they  can't  hear  me  over  THE LAST IN LINE  by  DIO  playing  through  the  headphones  of  their  walkman.  it  looks  like  they're  gonna  be  late  for  WORK  as  BARTENDER/MUSICIAN at THE HIDEOUT.  did  you  know  EDDIE  has  been  in  hawkins  for  HIS WHOLE LIFE  ?  yeah,  their  family  and  friends  describe  them  as  PASSIONATE,  but  i've  seen  them  be  OBNOXIOUS  too  !  i  would  also  say  they  remind  me  of late night drives with the windows down, band tees and leather jackets, and bulky rings on every finger but  is  that  weird  ?  i  guess  nothing's  too  weird  for  this  little  town,  huh ?

THE CAMPAIGN.

full  name  —  edward alan munson.

nickname(s)  —  eddie, ed, kid, freak, murderer.

age  —  twenty - five.

date  of  birth  —  october  13.

place  of  birth  —  hawkins, indiana.

current  location  —  hawkins,  indiana.

pronouns  — he/him.

sexual  orientation  —  undecided.

education  level  —  high  school  graduate.

residence  —  forest  hills  trailer  park.

familial connections  —  alan munson ( father / incarcerated ) ,  elizabeth 'lizzie' franklin-munson ( mother / deceased ), wayne munson ( uncle / legal guardian ).

THE DUNGEON MASTER.

mbti  —  ENTP ( the debater ).

positive traits  —  original, charismatic, protective, energetic, quick-witted, non-conforming.

negative traits —  argumentative, blunt, insensitive, obnoxious, guarded.

aesthetics  —  late night drives, leather jackets, band tees under a jean jacket, mixtapes with no names, bulky rings on every finger, uncontrollable late night laughter.

similar vibes to  —  patrick verona ( 10 things to hate about you ), jack sparrow ( pirates of the carribean ), tony stark (iron man ), chandler bing ( friends ), tyrion lannister ( game of thrones ), wade wilson ( deadpool ).

INTO MODOR.

eddie's parents were tragic from the start. his father had a gambling issue that quickly turned into a drug and theft issue by the time eddie was two. his mother, being the saint she was, raised eddie up until she discovered her illness shortly after he turned six. stage four breast cancer. she only lived five months after she was diagnosed.  

alan munson had been arrested for drug possession when the news of his wife's death broke and he was denied custody until he could clean up his act. after calling eddie's maternal grandparents, they denied wanting custody of their only grandchild. it was only a few days after being put in the system did child services find his father's only brother, wayne. without hesitation, he was granted custody and eddie's new life began.

from the time eddie was young, eddie always had an unruly head of curls. his mother loved them. middle school was when the bullying for him began. he loved fantasy games. he LOVED metal music and often dressed in the color black. ripped jeans were a custom. it's all wayne could afford when he was growing up so he was often picked on for his grunge look. it all came to a head when rumors went around that his mom didn't die from cancer but that he sacrificed her life for some wicked intentions. the bullying got so bad that he ended up shaving his head and throwing a punch at anyone who disrespected his mother's legacy.

he got into a lot of fights in his middle school years. more often, eddie would be the victim of brutal words that he couldn't handle and he was throwing a fist at the nearest jaw. wayne was in the principals' office most of his seventh grade year. his counselor suggested that it could've been grief driven for his new-found behavior. he met every day with the guidance counselor that year and eventually dealt with the loss of mother. in high school, he began to grow his hair long to embrace his curls... in honor of his mother.

his love for d&d stemmed when he was in middle school as did his love for music. he was a self taught guitarist and when he found his lifelong friends out of the talent for both hobbies, he slowly started to find his place in the crowd of high school. the hellfire club was formed shortly after he entered into high school and desired a place for the outcasts to find their way.

all of season four is canon for eddie, though matilda is in the place of chrissy. after the battle in the upside down, eddie sustained the injuries to his sides from the demobats. when dustin, nancy, steve, and robin pulled him from the upside down... he was taken to hawkins general where he was detained and patched back up after losing a lot of blood. he remained in the hospital for three days after the incident under heavy guard as he was arrested as a suspect in the death of matlida, fred, and patrick.

despite every effort to clear his name entirely, it was nearly impossible to undo the damage that the title of 'murder suspect' did to his name. though hopper helped clear all the charges against him for lack of evidence, eddie's life never went back to the way it was before vecna's killings. he graduated, but wasn't able to walk the stage due to the controversy surrounding him. the hellfire club was disbanded in school, though eddie agreed to start the club up on his own time when speculation died down. he wasn't able to hold down any job, colleges did not accept him for his poor grades and reputation... everything he had was destroyed.

with the help of the hideout's owner, eddie was able to train as a bartender and works every other night to help wayne out with rent. he looks forward to moving out on his own time but lays low most of the time due to the ridicule he still faces to the day. he can only hope that one day, he can make it out of hawkins for good. for now, all he can do is hope that the day comes sooner rather than later.

#tw cancer mention #tw death mention #tw bullying #hwkinsfm.intro #◁◁ 𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖘 𝖎𝖘 𝖍𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖋𝖎𝖗𝖊. 𝖓𝖔𝖙 𝖇𝖆𝖇𝖞𝖘𝖎𝖙𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖈𝖑𝖚𝖇 ▐ ▌ introduction. ▷▷

[writer-of-various]

MW 141 + Los Vaqueros + OC HCs

Johnny "Soap" MacTavish

Born into a large family, middle child of 7 kids, youngest son

Spoiled by his mother, father always tried teaching him "manly" things but the man himself was a history teacher

Big family, every first Friday of the month is a family outing– grows closer to one of his many cousins (best friends, the cousin who introduced him to the military)

Jokester/Trickster, loves playing pranks and loves it when his uncle William buys illegal fireworks and sets them off (his love for explosions)

When he told his parents about joining the military, his mother was hesitant but supportive, his father was however the sobbing and head shaking parent

He and his father are close, and before his father's death is when he gives Soap permission to join

Soap refused to quit, he was not letting down his father– his father's proud smile keeps him going during the toughest times

Simon "Ghost" Riley

Youngest child, born into a neglectful and abusive enviroment

His older sister and mother often protected him from his father's wrath– his older brother killed himself at age 14

Mother grew tired of the fighting and abuse, drank and smoked to console her bottling up emotions

His older sister was left defending Ghost and tried stabilizing the family to no avail

At 10, his father goes mad and kills his mother and sister, and tried killing Ghost who survives the attack– his father kills himself shortly after

Jumps from foster home to foster home, only one family treated him with kindness and showed him love– they died from a car accident

At 16 he runs away and joins the military, his height and stubble made him appear older– an officer finds out a year later but takes Ghost under his wing (he dies from a terrorist attack and Ghost is once again left alone until he meets Price)

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

Born to wealthy parents, his mother was a doctor and his father a lawyer, former intelligence specialist in the Royal Military

Orphaned at 4 years old, parents died trying to protect him and others during a mass shooting at a mall a week before Christmas

Jumped from three foster homes before being adopted by the fourth couple

Grew up in a loving home although his adoptive parents struggled financially

Joined the military, a year after enlisting his adoptive parents were killed during a robbery at a bank

John Price

Father was military, went MIA early in Price's life– mother raised him herself

Mother barely making it through, sacrificed a lot for Price and he was grateful

Tried his hardest at school and excelled

He didn't focus much on school but finding work to support his mother

His mother was conflicted about his wish to join the Royal Army, worried the same fate of her beloved husband would happen to her beloved son

Joined the military at 16 in an effort to help his mom; excelled greatly in the military and became the youngest cadet to pass the Royal Military Academy

His mother accepted his decision and was proud of her little John until she passed from breast cancer

Alejandro Vargas

Only child, spoiled by his mama and father

Always admired his father as Mr. Vargas was Special Forces, trying to help Las Almas be free of corruption

He often skipped school to go on adventures with his best friend, Rodolfo

At 7, his father is killed by a cartel outside Las Almas during a raid– Alejandro decided at a young age to follow in father's footsteps

Grew up and watched Las Almas slowly crumble under the pressure of a growing cartel

Joined the military at 17, excelled greatly

Rodolfo Parra

The youngest of three children, born into a very hostile environment

His father was a drunk, abusive, neglectful– constantly arguing and beating his mother and two older brothers

His older brothers eventually run away and cut contact with all of them– his mother grows tired of the abuse and often gets drunk and brings in random men when Rudy's father is at work or drunk at some bar

Rudy was sexually abused by the random men his mother brought home but never said anything to anyone until he was 21 and had a panic attack in front of Alejandro

Often found refuge in Alejandro's caring home, the Vargas' practically adopted dhim into their family

His mother is killed by the cartel when he was 8, and he vows to avenge her death and protect the people of Las Almas

He isn't only following Alejandro because he loves his friend, but because he won't rest until Las Almas is healed and he avenges his mother who has tried so hard to protect him

Cut contact with his father– black sheep of his family's name and doesn't care

Amanda "Olympus" Smith

Only child, born into hostile environment

Mother overdosed when she was 2, father pointed all abuse on Amanda shortly after the death of her mother

Raised herself, learned how to cook and clean, tried keeping a roof over her head while her father spent his cheques on alcohol, drugs, and hookers

Excelled greatly in school despite having a poor attendance– teachers never asked about her home life and she didn't say anything

Above the whole school and earned all her credits only in her Sophomore year, graduated early but struggled as she and her father went homeless for a year

Athletic and her coach is the only person to show concern and care for her, kept her going during hard times

Her coach let Amanda stay in her office during that year, always leaving a spare key to the locker rooms and showers

Joined the Canadian Army at 16 and excelled above all candidates, gained respect from all her male counterparts

#cod mw22 #cod modern warfare #cod headcanons #my headcanons #oc amanda smith #amanda smith #task force 141 #los vaqueros

[auggievillanueva]

AUGGIE VILLANUEVA

full name: august "auggie" gabriel villanueva

pronouns & gender: he/him, cis man

birthday & birthplace: march 14, 1987 (37); aurora bay, ca

location: seabrook quarter

time in aurora bay: his whole life, minus a few years for college

sexuality: gay

occupation: owner of oceania bookstore

@aurorabayaesthetic

about.

cancer, death tw

auggie was born and raised in aurora bay, in a little house in fisher's cove. he was mostly raised by his grandparents; his father was never around and his mother died when he was young. his grandparents were basically aurora bay lifers as well, they moved in shortly after the town was founded. coming from a long line of academics, they opened a bookstore — oceania — in the center of town, and at the beginning it was mostly comprised of books straight from auggie's grandfather's collection.

he and his mom were already living with his grandparents when she died of breast cancer. auggie was nine, and the loss completely crushed him. he was already prone to reclusiveness and shyness, but her death just made him even more withdrawn. by the time he was eleven, his grandparents pulled him out of school to homeschool him for a time because he wasn't adjusting at school.

they mostly taught him in the backroom at oceania between tending to customers. he grew up surrounded by books, and the love must be partially genetic, because he devoured every single one he could get his hands on. when he was fourteen, he was already helping out in the store, pulling massive books down and making effusive recommendations to customers. that's really what helped him come out of his shell.

his grandparents put him back in school when he was a freshman so that he could socialize a bit before going off to college. it took a little while, but he eventually found his feet, making friends with the rest of the nerd/bookish crowd. he left home but didn't go too far for college, choosing UCLA to remain close to his grandparents. he was halfway through a degree in english when, at 20, his grandmother died.

so he moved back home again to help his grandfather run the store and enrolled at AB college part-time to split his time completing his degree and keeping shop. it took him a few more years, but he graduated and then immediately took on a full-time role managing the store, as his grandfather's health was declining as well.

his grandfather died when he was twenty-five, and auggie felt the weight of the loss tremendously. he had become a lot better adjusted since his mom died, so he managed to work through things alright, but it planted a deep sorrow in him that he still hasn't shaken.

when he got full run of the store, he weighed his options of things to keep — his grandparents' house or the shop — and he ultimately chose the shop. he sold their house in fisher's cove at a nice premium and put the money back into oceania.

sometime during that span, he also met a man, an art buyer and frequent customer at oceania. their relationship was, at first, very reminiscent of a rom-com, with their bookstore meet-cutes and the bliss that followed. they got married when auggie was twenty-nine and moved into a house in seabrook. a few years in, they decided to have a child together and their daughter, rosie, was born in 2019.

everything was fine — great, even — until auggie found out early last year that his husband had been keeping an apartment in LA he'd been conducting an affair out of for years. the divorce came swift, and it was as easy as those kinds of things can be. his husband accepted full responsibility and didn't fight auggie's demand for full custody of their daughter with occasional visitation.

auggie is very much not over what happened, but he keeps on trucking for his daughter and the store's sake.

tidbits.

auggie's is mostly soft and sweet, but the divorce dealt a huge blow to him and gave him a bit of an edge. he's a little less afraid to say what he's actually thinking, which actually can end up being a little mean (in a fun way) sometimes. he can be pretty judgmental and pessimistic under the politeness (he was raised right!).

he's got a big ole Business Plan for oceania and is very ambitious about how he wants it to grow. his biggest achievement to date is getting michelle zauner to come in for an appearance when she was promoting 'crying in h mart.' he moderated the conversation with her and cried when she hugged him. his grand plan is to buy the building next door and expand to accommodate a coffee shop, but that's pretty far down the line.

auggie's an incredibly active parent and definitely spoils his daughter. he's basically single parenting, with little-to-no regard for what his ex wants at this point.

connections.

pseudo younger brother to @santiagodeleons, who's also one of his daughter's godparents

close friends w/ @samucl-kane, another one of his daughter's godparents

ex-boyfriend of @benj-hyun

friends w/ @bradley-banner

parent friends w/ @luckylewis, @delilahcarreno

employer of @fxckaubreycarson, his daughter's nanny

employer/protective of @emersonxcassidy

close friend of @themeixhuang

#aurorabay.intro

[byescort]

Sex ed you (maybe) didn't get

if you have a vulva, it's normal that it secretes sticky stuff, outside of your period. that's self-cleansing. it's also normal that it can sort-of bleach your black panties. That doesn't mean that you are dirty.

the clit is not just a tiny nob, it's actually pretty big and the tiny nob on the outside is just the tip of it.

Penis and vulva have the same components, they are just arranged differently

Amab people can get breast cancer too

If you have boobies, it's normal to be able to feel some tissue, bumps and stuff, that's not automatically breast cancer. Breast cancer feels like tiny hard grains of rice or peas under the skin

bodily errection is not the same thing as consent. A dick can get hard on autopilot, and a vulva can get wet just in the same manner. Just because the body reacts (sometimes even in a sort of self protection) that does not mean consent. Those reactions are not a conscious decision.

Nipples can get hard from just about anything. Cold, wind, fabric rubbing over them, or just for fun. That, too, is not a conscious decision, and is kinda like goosebumps. Just happens.

For the love of god boobs do not give milk unless the person is pregnant/has given birth shortly before. I won't tell you to stop watching hentai, whatever floats your boat, but please don't take them seriously.

Also female body hair is normal. In average, testosterone causes more and thicker body hair, but even without, body hair is pretty normal.

There. Is. No. ✨Alpha.✨ (not even in wolves. Shut the fuck up. PWP gay fanfiction, Greek lessons and math classes are the only places I want to hear about Alphas.)

While men on average are indeed taller and stronger than women, most women could still overcome an average man by training. (Stop acting like there is no overlap. My sister could bench press you)

You can have sex during your period, it is just not overly comfortable for some people. It's a matter of personal preference. It's just as safe as sex outside of the period, so pls still use a condom.

Condoms can expire. Please never use expired condoms, they can easily tear and are therefore not usable. Also using two condoms is not safer than one condom, it's actually more likely to tear or slip, that way.

condoms are not only good for preventing pregnancies, but also STIs. So if you have other birth control methods, please still use a condom, especially on one-night-stands. If you and your partners are tested, go for it. Knock yourself out.

Consent does only count if all participants give it in a sane state of mind (no alcohol or drugs), and risk aware.

all dicks and vulvas look different from one another. Just as everyone's hands and eyes are unique, the same goes for private parts. And boobs.

Vagina is in theory not a wrong term, but reduces it all to the reproductive function, while vulva means the whole thing

Sex, Gender, Sexual- and Romantic-attraction are all separate from each other. Your Gender is not bound to your sex. Your sexuality is not bound to either your gender or your sex. You can be trans and gay. You can be trans and gay and asexual. You can be nonbinary and lesbian. You can be a straight man and aromantic. Sex, gender, sexual attraction and romantic attraction are not bound to one another. Each is a separate label, another part of you.

Labels are not stickers. You don't have to keep them, once you tried them out. I called myself bi for some time, but I enjoy the label pan more, so that's what I like to identify myself with. Labels are trying to put your individual feelings into accessable categories. They are neither mandatory nor everlasting. They might not even fit you. And that's alright.

You. Are. Not. Ugly. You. Are. Just. Not. Your. Type.

#sex ed #byescort #things i wished someone had told us growing up #i'm not a teacher please correct any mistakes #teen struggles #health #lgbtq #lgbtq+ #queer

[livingwithmbc]

Living with Metastatic Breast Cancer (MBC)

The past few years have been rocky to put it mildly, not just as a nation or planet, but also personally.

I'm creating this space to share periodic updates and glimpses into what it's like living with metastatic breast cancer (referred to as MBC going forward because I'm lazy and don't like typing it every time) and whatever else I feel like. I don't promise to post consistently, only as I find it helpful and have the time and energy. I do, however, promise to be real, honest, crass, and vulnerable about my experiences. I curse like a sailor and if that isn't for you, no hard feelings, but this may not be the space for you, and that's perfectly okay. I don't particularly enjoy writing, nor am I great at it, but I recognize its value and how cathartic it can be. I've always been a naturally private person as I enjoy my quiet life, but there's nothing private about having BC. Appointment after I'm appointment I remove my shirt and bra as it seems like just about every medical professional needs to feel my breast lump. Just as cancer has invaded my breast, medical traumas began invading my life. Privacy seems almost comical these days, and I was living in denial while thinking I could do this all on my own without needing the support of my friends and family. I was very wrong. I didn't (and still don't) want pity from others. Life never promised to be fair. We don't choose the cards life deals us, but it's up to us to play the hell out of those cards, and I've got a killer poker face. So ask me the questions and I'll respond when I can. This is not a journey in which it's helpful to go it alone and if anything, it's detrimental to try. Something else noteworthy is that I have ADHD (thanks, dad!). As someone with ADHD, my brain jumps around. A lot. This is evident when talking with me but also in my writing as well. Bear with me and welcome to the shitshow.

For those of you that don't know me well (or perhaps at all), I turned 33 last month and work as a mental health counselor in Indiana. I've been married to my saint of a spouse for just shy of a decade and he's been my rock. In 2020, I was gearing up to graduate with my master's in clinical mental health counseling with plans to begin our family shortly thereafter. Unfortunately, the universe had other plans.

During the summer of 2020, my spouse was diagnosed with non-Hodgkins Lymphoma at age 30, after being short of breath for no clear reason, and being gaslit by medical professionals for several months about not feeling well. To say this was a shock was an understatement. Only old people get cancer, I thought, not seemingly healthy and active 30-year-olds. Our plans to begin trying to conceive were temporarily tabled as the focus shifted to my husband's health. I was devastated but chanted the mantra, "this too shall pass". We were told we had to wait at least 2 years to try to have kids due to the intense medications and treatments he was on. He spent months doing aggressive rounds of chemo, all while working almost full time. To say he's my hero would be putting it mildly. It's been about 2 years since his diagnosis and I'm thrilled to report he's still in remission!

Fast forward to early 2022. I noticed some dimpling under one of my breasts, but genuinely didn't think too much of it. Historically speaking, I've never been an overly anxious person, and typically don't worry much until there's truly something to worry about. My spouse encouraged me to schedule an appointment ASAP (he's the worrier). I already had an OB appointment upcoming so I planned to discuss the dimpling then as my neurodivergent brain couldn't handle making more phone calls for appointments and things. Unfortunately, the doctor felt a lump (I couldn't) and the ensuing weeks and months would prove to be an overwhelming whirlwind of fears, appointments, and uncertainties.

I like to think I have a good sense of humor, even if it's dark (I'd argue you have to have dark humor to survive in the mental health field). On Friday the 13th of May I was told my breast biopsy confirmed the worst: I have invasive ductile carcinoma. Jason was nowhere in sight but I would have been more accepting of his existence than me having cancer. I'll never forget the look of pity on the nurse's face delivering that news. I could tell she was going out of her way to try and make me feel better about the diagnosis, saying things along the lines of, "it was caught early, you won't die. You'll be fine." I remember taking the news surprisingly well and not being too phased by it. "I'm going to kick cancer's ass," I thought. I'm stubbornly determined when I set my mind to a task and cancer was no different in my mind. Mind over matter, as they say. Hell, I was even given a BC swag bag on my way out the door. I quickly got scheduled with an oncologist who set up scans, blood draws, the whole gambit. Getting breast cancer at 32 was jarring for the medical providers around me given that I have no family history of breast cancer. Genetic testing was order and I learned that I have an ATM genetic mutation, pre-disposing me to breast cancer and a handful of other cancers. The results were bittersweet as it provided answers to the "why" of cancer early in life, but shifted the initial surgery treatment plan to opting for a double mastectomy. I was generally still in high spirits, and made light of it all, joking about getting a shiny new rack as a silver lining of a shitty situation. When life gives you lemons, make tittyaide, I said. As scan results began to roll in, the plan abruptly shifted. A suspicious spot was found on my sternum and a biopsy confirmed the worst: the cancer had already spread to my sternum, meaning I was now dealing with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer, a completely different beast than when BC is caught early. Surgery got cancelled and starting endocrine therapy ASAP was the new plan to try and shrink the tumors. I had no idea that multiple types of BC exist, all with different treatment implications. My specific type is ER/PR+, HER2-, meaning, my cancer feeds off my hormones. The treatment? Reduce the estrogen in my body as quickly as possible and transition me into menopause, thus stifling the cancer's fuel source. In all this scary news, the thing I mourned the deepest (and still do) is the uphill journey I will face to becoming a mom. Chemo made my spouse sterile and I am unable to carry a pregnancy as I cannot stop treatment long enough to sustain a pregnancy. People mean well when they offer comments like, "you can adopt!" but I'm here to tell you how painful and invalidating that response is. There is lifelong grief associated with infertility for those that want biological children. Even if we are able to pursue foster to adoption (the only "affordable" option to becoming a parent), I will always grieve not getting the experience of being pregnant and having biological kids. As cliché as it is, it's true that you don't always realize how badly you want something until it's no longer an option.

MBC, unlike early onset BC, is considered incurable. It's not an instant death sentence, but any doctor will let you know that it's essentially terminal, meaning it's a slow death. Living with MBC is a very, very different experience as there is no end in sight unlike many other cancer experiences. I will be in treatment for the rest of my life. The statistics for long-term survival aren't great, but I know I'm much more than a statistic. My goal is to live the most fulfilling life I can for as long as I can, and I hope that means I'll be around for a very long time. There's nothing like the threat of dying to make you appreciate each and every day, including the people in your life, the jobs, the pets, nature, etc. I believe maintaining a positive mindset while looking for learning opportunities is so important in overcoming any obstacles in life and I am so incredibly thankful for all those that have shown their love and support. If you read all of my ramblings, thank you for your patience. Take time to appreciate and express gratitude for the good things in your life. No matter how bad the circumstances may be, there is always something to be grateful for. <3

#breast cancer #metastatic breast cancer #nonhodgkins #lymphoma #atm #genetic mutation #hereditary cancer #infertility #compassion #medical trauma #mysogyny #adult adhd #gratitude #mental health #griefjourney #cancer #hereditary