#brain goes fast enough my anxiety cant catch me

[happywitch416]

The joke is you have enough caffeine you can speak to electricity but after a full pot of coffee (12 cup one) and 400mg of caffeine in energy drinks, in order to talk to me you should probably be the one that can speak to electricity.

#brain goes fast enough my anxiety cant catch me #well and the astronomical case of adhd doesnt help #me and my problem are gonna go spin in circles or something knowing i will crash as soon as i have everything done today #but its overload this mind and body or she aint gonna work #the witch speaks #although it should probably be the witch speeds lol

[my-creative-hell]

Before (Avengers au)

This whole situation was fucked. It was supposed to be a simple mission, get in, beat the bad guys up, and get out quick before the press had a chance to catch them and pry them for interviews. That’s how it was supposed to go so how did they get here?

Turns out, these particular bad guys knew exactly who they were, and how they worked. They had planned their attacks to use all of their weaknesses, and somehow it had worked. Hannah’s blindness had been used against her, distorted noises playing to mess with her sense of space. Iden’s guard had been broken using Jake, who had been caught out while running and most definitely at least had a broken arm. Leena had been doing well until they figured out her sequence of attacks, which had thrown her for a loop.

And Grave, well, Grave had been stabbed, simply put. Blood was leaking onto the floor, covering Hannah’s knees as she kneels next to the younger teen, and muttering reassurances, though she wasn’t even sure if she believed them herself.

Grave didn’t, she was shaking and crying, the pain boring into her memory as she lay on the floor, Hannah’s hands over the wound, pressing it shut and trying to stop the blood that was escaping from her torn flesh. Hannah’s expression was one of deep pain for the younger teammate she had come to view as family, and she would wince every time Grave cried.

“I know it hurts hun, just hole on, okay? Iden will be here soon.” It was more of a wish than a promise. Iden was the least injured of all of them, his ridiculous strength the only advantage they currently had. Hannah could see him fighting, throwing men left and right, his expression more anger stricken than she had ever seen.

“Are you sure?” Grave asks in a small shaky voice. She’s biting her hand in an effort not to cry out and make too much noise, though Hannah could still hear small whimpers coming from her, each one breaking her heart a little more.

“I hope so… if not, you might have to do something, hun.” Hannah says gently, knowing she couldn’t promise what she didn’t know. She didn’t know if Iden would win and if he would be able to fix this, if he would have enough energy to even try. The thought of losing Grave was the worst part, and Hannah didn’t want to risk it. No matter the cost.

“Okay, cool. Great. This is awesome.” Grave was panicking, trying to even her breathing and slow it down and breathe normally. Trying not to panic. But Hannah could feel it bubbling up inside Grave.

“Hey, its okay. You’ll be okay. Just breathe.” Hannah reassures, keeping her voice quiet and comforting, trying her best to remain calm sounding despite the worry and fear that was flooding inside of her, threatening to spill over at any second.

“O-okay.” Grave nods gently and Hannah can feel her starting to take normal breathes, breathing in deep and letting it go, making her feel a slight bit better. But she knew the situation was still bad. Grave needed help, and she may not get it, so something else had to be done.

“Okay, we’re okay. Look, hun, you might have to use your abilities here.” Hannah admits, wincing. She didn’t even know if Grave was in any condition to use them, but it was a last resort. She could hear Iden in the background, and it didn’t sound good.

Grave nods and Hannah can feel her clench her fists and begin going back in time, smiling gently, hoping it would turn out okay as she fades away as Grave goes back. But it’s all fuzzy. Grave tries to stop, it’s going back farther than she wants it to, but she can’t stop it.

When she comes back, the same building is around her. But its empty, abandoned, the walls covered in peeling paint and the floors dirty and unkempt underneath Grave as she sits up, the wound now gone, but with no idea of where exactly she was.

Grave knew the abandoned building was close to where the team lived, but with no knowledge of when she was in time, she couldn’t exactly just go up and knock on the door. What if it was too early, or she was already there?

Grave stands up swiftly, heading out of the building as fast as possible, not wanting to be stuck in there a second longer than she had to be. Opening the unchained doors, she steps into the world. It was buzzing, people walking past her at all sorts of different speeds, heading to work or milling through the shops on the street. Everybody was so focused on their own shit; no body noticed the slightly distressed teen exiting the abandoned building.

It almost made Grave laugh as she begins to hear a clicking noise. At first, it confuses Grave; her believing it might have been her bones that were clicking. Though, when she turns her head she manages to see Hannah standing outside a coffee shop. She appeared to be waiting for something and was tapping her white cane in a bored manner, face displaying the same emotion behind her sunglasses.

Grave gets a flash of happiness run through her, and almost runs up to the shorter woman, but she quickly remembers that this was Hannah from the past. This Hannah was wearing sunglasses to hide her eyes, and her Hannah never did that anymore, saying it was a waste of time. The realisation makes her sad.

This Hannah seems to feel something is amiss, a slight flash of something passing inside her head, a voice she didn’t know, but seemed to feel comfortable with. It makes her feel funny. Out of curiosity, she turns her head towards the strange feeling, sensing that someone was there and probably staring at her.

“Ohshit- um… hi.” Grave says nervously as she realises Hannah has noticed her presence, watching as Hannah raises a single eyebrow in questioning.

“You’re gonna have to get closer if you want a conversation.” Her voice is dull when she speaks, the normal life Grave’s Hannah would have seemingly nonexistent as she speaks. This Hannah seems bored with the world, and unwilling to be a part of it, her voice reflecting those emotions.

Grave gets closer, still nervous as she approaches this new old version of Hannah.

“H-hi Han-I mean… hi.” Grave corrects herself, not wanting to say her name. This Hannah didn’t know her, and it would make it so weird, and lead to a lot of explanations Grave didn’t even know if she was allowed to give.

“You sound like a kid, why did you wanna talk to me?” Hannah questions as she tilts her head. Whoever was in front of her was young, definitely not an adult, and by the sound of them they were around ten, way too young to be talking to a twenty year old.

“Because… I-I…” Grave starts to play with her shirt as she talks, twiddling it between her fingers to try and curb her anxiety. “I didn’t… mean to come back this far, but I cant go back until later so…” Grave sighs, sounding upset. “Why am I telling you this-” She cuts herself off as Hannah listens to her. As much as Hannah didn’t know what was going on, and as much as she didn’t like people, hearing a small child sounding so upset made her feel weird, and she didn’t like that.

“Look, I can tell you’re panicking, so just breathe, alright? Whatever’s happening, I’m sure it’ll be fine in the end.” Hannah’s voice lacks the normal softness Grave would be used to, but she could tell it was in there, even if it seemed to be clouded. The words had the same sentiment, even if her Hannah would have phrased it a little differently and maybe a bit kinder.

“Yeah… thanks.” Grave nods. She feels a little bit calmer about the situation, but her mind wasn’t quite caught up with it all yet. Her head was still slightly unscrewed, and she didn’t know how long that would take to fix itself.

“You’re like, ten right? What are you doing out here all alone?” Hannah questions frowning. If it was any other person, she wouldn’t care, but a kid being alone on a street Hannah knew to be very busy felt wrong to her. Wrong and off.

“I-I um… missed… the bus to get home.” Grave bold face lies to Hannah. She couldn’t exactly tell her the truth, that she came back in time way too far and is now stuck there for a few days, shed surely sound crazy.

“Mhm, sure thing kid. I meant why aren’t your parents with you, a kid shouldn’t be left alone, ever.” Hannah states clearly, seeing through the lie in a second and aiming her hidden empty eyes down at Grave where the much younger girl stood, slightly shorter than her now.

“Because… they suck.” Grave says honestly, looking at Hannah as she raises her eyebrows, that response seeming to have surprised her a bit, a small pit of worry in her brain at that.

“They suck, huh?” She questions, knowing the kid wasn’t really lying. She knew all the ways a parent could suck, and some were way worse than others. But all kids deserved good parents in Hannah’s eyes. She knew all about sucky parents, and didn’t really like the thought of other kids going through the same things.

“Mhm.” Grave says simply as she looks at Hannah, her face black even though she knew Hannah wouldn’t be able to see it.

“So, are you planning on going home to your sucky parents?” Hannah questions, the concern that was inside her not showing through on her face as she talks to the child. She had no idea what the answer would be; it all depended on how bad the parents were and how stubborn the kid was.

“I guess I could walk there. It’s only like… three of five blocks to get there and it’s not that late-” Grave ponders as she stands in front of Hannah, thinking about what she could do. Hannah was thinking too, wondering about this kid and their home life.

“Do you not wanna go home?” Hannah questions, the concern increasing at the kids seeming disinterest at going home to their parents. Most ten year olds would be crying for their parents and would jump at the chance of going home, but not this kid. And admittedly, that worried Hannah, though she would never show it.

“I mean, kinda? On one hand, my parents are home, on the other hand, I don’t have to talk to them and on one foot, if I don’t go home then my mum would be mad.” Grave explains as she thinks, and Hannah gets genuinely concerned now. It was evident the child didn’t want to go home because of their parents, and that struck something inside of Hannah.

“How sucky are your parents, kid?” Hannah asks, concerned. She didn’t want a bad answer, but she couldn’t knock out the possibility of getting one from this kid, and then what would she do? She didn’t know if she could let a small child go home to bad parents, but what was she supposed to do instead?

“Not extremely sucky, but they do yell at each other a lot and get mad when I try to say anything, but then again my mum did give birth to me and I’m living under the house she bought, so I don’t really have any say in anything she does.” Grave shrugs it off, clearly used to all of this. Hannah huffs in an annoyed tone.

“You don’t owe your parents respect just because they made you, kid. They shouldn’t be yelling at you all the time.” Hannah sounds neutral enough, but inside her head she was frustrated with the parents of this kid for making her think this situation was perfectly fine. Parents can argue, sure, but do it away from the damn kids, and don’t yell at them when they try to speak their minds.

“How do I not? I spent nine whole months in her and she decided to keep me, I should be grateful for that.” Grave tries to justify, showing her naive side to Hannah. Kids often didn’t believe their parents could be bad people and would wave off their misdeeds in the hope of attention and love. Hannah knew that all too well.

“Just because a parent decides to keep their kid, doesn’t make them a good parent, trust me…” Hannah remembers her human parents her and her twin brother were given after being kicked from heaven and reborn as more human. They were atrocious, but for the longest time, the twins ignored it in the hopes they would be loved. It was wrong, not to mention a complete waste of their time.

“Oh… okay.” Grave sounds downtrodden. She believes Hannah, even if she still feels like she owes her parents respect, even when they don’t give her any of her own. Hannah’s concern for the child grows, actually cracking onto her face a little in furrowed eyebrows and a slightly softer voice.

“I don’t mean to upset you, kid, but you gotta know your own self worth. If you really want to go home, I won’t top you.” Hannah says simply, listening to the air around them as Grave thinks. She didn’t need sight to know the kind of expression that the kid would be wearing, and she felt bad for putting it there.

“I don’t wanna go home. I-I can… stay at a friend’s house until tomorrow, I’ll tell my mum tho-” Grave explains, though her voice catches Hannah’s attention slightly, a slight tremor behind it.

“Hey, no reason to get upset. You okay?” Hannah asks, her eyebrows conveying her concern a bit more as she talks to the kid in front of her.

“I’m fine. I’m actually kinda happy because it’s not a school night and I can stay up late.” Hannah can feel the kid smiling, which calms her down a little.

“That sounds like a good plan.” Hannah remarks as she listens to the kid in front of her, her voice s bit lighter and back to its more neutral tone many would mistake for cold and blunt.

Grave’s phone vibrates as she speaks, making her check her phone. Apparently her friend had an insane sense of timing, as she had text her at that very moment.

“hhh I gotta go to the day camp for a while and phones aren’t allowed but I’ll text you when it over uwu.”

“Hm. Fuck.” Was all Grave could say in response, slightly surprising Hannah with the swearing, though she chose not to say anything about it. This wasn’t her kid, what did it matter?

“Fuck?” Hannah questions, unable to know what was going on until the young child explained it to her. She had heard the phone, and could only assume whatever was on it wasn’t something Grave had wanted to read.

“Fuck.” Grave replies, and Hannah could tell she was nodding, even though she couldn’t see it. Hannah scrunches up her face as she replies; reminding Grave she doesn’t know the situation.

“Why? I don’t know what’s going on.” Hannah says firmly as she waits for the small child to reply to her.

“My friend isn’t gonna be home today.” Grave explains to Hannah, sounding frustrated as Hannah understands the situation she has been placed in.

“Oh, well fuck.” Hannah replies bluntly, brain thinking of other options for the child who didn’t want to return home, face neutral as her brain runs a thousand miles a second. She sighs before speaking again. “Look, I realise this is probably super weird, and feel free to say no. but you seem to have a weird… knowledge of me, so if you wanted to stay at mine and my brothers place tonight, I wouldn’t be against it. We both took childcare classes and used to be babysitters, so its not like we have no experience.” That wasn’t a lie, Hannah and Iden would baby-sit all the time when they were younger, and had kids even stay round theirs when their parents were working.

“…Alright, sounds legit.” Grave says in a blunt voice, though she was secretly very excited to spend time with the twins, especially since Hannah at least seemed to be very different to the version of her she knew. Plus, she knew them. She knew they would never hurt anyone, especially a child. She knew she was safe, and that was enough for her to look forward to this.

“We just gotta wait for my brother… though, it is cold out, are you wearing a coat?” Hannah questions, unable to tell by the noises coming from Grave’s clothing what the answer to that question was. It was cold outside, even Hannah could feel it biting into her skin as she stands.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Grave replies simply as she shifts to stand closer to the edge of the shop, away form the people bustling into the shops. Winter was always hectic, and the Christmas rush had definitely begun, shoppers running around.

“My brother works down the street in the old bookshop there.” Hannah explains, pointing a finger in the direction she meant. “You wanna walk down and meet him?” Hannah asks Grave as she points.

“Yeah, he sounds cool.” Grave nods happily, though she tries to hide it, and the fact that she already knows Iden is very cool. Hannah smiles, and it actually looks genuine on her face for a moment when she does.

“Yeah, he is, let’s go. Oh, uh, a tip, walk slightly behind me so I don’t smack you.” Hannah explains to the child, though she had a feeling that somehow, she would already know this.

“I already know.” Grave smiles as she answers, getting slightly behind Hannah as she begins to walk, swinging the stick as she steps. Hannah huffs at that, though it isn’t annoyed sounding, more amused.

“Had a feeling you would.” She replies, smiling inside. This kid was strange, but she kind of liked it about them. “Hey, I know you know my name, but I didn’t get your…” Hannah reminds the child as they slowly start to walk.

“Oh! Its Grave.” Grave replies as she matches pace with Hannah, making Hannah smile again, though it was smaller, it still placed genuinely on her face.

“Nice to meet ya, kid.” Hannah says with a slightly warmer voice as she leads Grave to the bookshop.

As they walk, Hannah can feel the temperature dropping in the air, and it starts to smell cold too, making her huff as she knows the inevitable conclusion. As if on cue, something small and cold touches her nose, melting into a drop of water as it hits her warm skin. Snow. From the feeling, it was coming down pretty well and heavy, and would probably be there for a few days at least.

“Hhhh its  s n o w.” Grave says happily, and Hannah can feel her shaking next to her, though it seemed to be from excitement rather than the cold around them.

“You like the snow?” She asks the kid, even though she already knew the answer to that question from Grave’s reaction, making her smile inside.

“Yeah! It feels nice.” Grave explains. It’s a take Hannah had never heard. They had never really placed or done anything in the snow when they were kids, so her opinion was neutral. Maybe she would like it more if she could see what it looked like. Iden had told her it sparkled under the light.

“Suppose so, yeah. The bookshop should be down here.” Hannah turns into the smaller alley she knew was there form her mentally mapped route, recognising the cracks in the pieces of concrete that reassured her she was walking in the right direction. She reaches the door and looks to where she knows Grave is standing. “You cool with going inside?” Hannah questions.

“Y e s. I love b o o k s.” Grave says happily, making Hannah smile as she pushes open the door into the old bookshop.

“Let’s go then.” She says as she walks into the shop. It was warm inside, books stacked high on the shelves, some newer, but most of them were old and classical books in their original covers, painstakingly cared for and sold to people who wanted them. Hannah knew Iden would be sitting at the counter, potentially reading himself. She knew his long black hair would be tied back in a bun, as it always was for work, whereas she let her cropped ginger hair do what it wanted.

Grave starts to sweat immediately in the warmth of the shop, warm was not something that got along with her after some of her… experiences. Her breathing became slightly harder too, her lungs having to work.

“Hey Iden.” Hannah hears him put down a book. He was reading. Hannah can hear Grave shift beside her, but getting flushed and finding it hard to breath can come naturally between two harshly different environments, so she doesn’t say anything, though she does keep an ear out for further changing.

“Hannah, are you aware a child followed you in?” Iden questions, placing his bookmark back into his book as he sets it down, looking at his blind twin in questioning, knowing she would know the expression on his face. Hannah huffs in response, voice blunt once again.

“Yeah, I brought her. look, long story cut very short, she’s staying with us tonight.” Hannah explains in her normal dull voice, surprising Iden, though he smiles at them both.

“Okay, that’s no problem with me.” He says happily as Grave watches them. She feels very happy inside to be with them and watch this, but physically she was in pain, the warmth attacking her in uncomfortable ways. It didn’t help that it was stuffy in the shop too.

“Hi!” Grave puts it aside, waving to Iden with a smile on her face. Now that she had been placed in her ten year old body, he looked even bigger than he normally did.

“Hiya, what’s your name?” Iden smiles slightly as he looks down at Grave, who was focusing on answering and trying not to think about the warm stuffy shop she was currently in.

“I-I’m Grave. It’s nice to meet you.” Grave replies happily, though the air burned her skin, though she knew no burn marks would be left on her skin.

“Iden, and it’s nice to meet you too kiddo.” He says happily as he looks down at her, coming out from the counter and placing a book near Hannah, allowing her to hear it. “Okay, I have to sort some stuff in the back before I can leave. Do you guys mind waiting? Hannah, I left a Braille book out for you on the counter by the edge.” Iden explains. Hannah shrugs in response.

“I don’t mind, kid, you cool to wait?” She asks Grave as she grabs the book on the counter, packing her cane into her bag and skimming her finger over the title, opening the book when she decides it’s interesting enough to bother reading.

“Yeah!” Grave replies, not fully paying attention to them. Iden was already gone so she was focusing on gripping her legs and trying not to comment on the pain that was spreading through her skin.

“Do you wanna try and fine a book to pass the time?” Hannah questions as she reads her own, pointing in the direction of all the other bookcases in the shop as she does so, face neutral as she reads.

“Yeah, that sounds nice.” Grave says as she nods, watching as Hannah nods back at her and continues reading her book, finger gliding over the pages, showing how experiences she was with reading Braille.

Grave manages to find a book and flips it open, reading to try and distract herself from the pain that is slowly rising in her body, but it keeps going up and up, making Grave feel worse and worse as she tries to distract herself. grave slows her breathing down in an effort to forcefully cool herself down, but in a shop this warm and stuffy, it didn’t have a hope of helping, and the pain keeps climbing up and up. Grave puts the book down to focus on her efforts, but it doesn’t get any better for her, and eventually the pain is so bad that all she can do is put her head in her hands and let out a large shaky breath.

Hannah hears the shaky breath and looks up from the book she was still reading, her finger stopping as she moves her head in the direction of the noise, eyebrows knitting together in a frown.

“You alright over there?” She questions, hearing the ragged breathing from Grave very well now as she keeps her head turned in the direction of the young girl, waiting for her response.

“I um… I-its too hot.” Grave explains simply as she looks at Hannah, the pain written on her face, not that Hannah could feel it, but she could sense something was off.

“Too hot?” She questions as she puts her book down on the counter, moving slowly towards the younger girl, unaided with her cane she had put away. But she knew the shop well enough to move through it safely. She stands in front of Grave now, still frowning.

“Too hot.” Grave confirms as she slowly nods, hands gripping her hair in an effort to distract from the other pain coursing through her body. Hannah places a hand on Grave’s forehead gently. The skin felt cold as ice to the touch, and felt almost like getting a cold burn, slight pain dancing over Hannah’s skin.

“What do you want me to do?” Hannah asks the young girl. Sure, she felt cold, but Hannah wouldn’t say that. Clearly Grave felt hot and uncomfortable and in pain, and who was Hannah to deny any of that? She couldn’t deny what Grave was feeling, so she had to help.

“I-I just wanna go outside.” Grave says in a small voice, making Hannah frown again at the pain in it. She gently places her hand on Grave’s shoulder, spinning the girl to be in front of her so she could easily walk her outside.

“Alright, lets go out.” Hannah states simply as she holds Grave’s shoulder in her gentle grip, making Grave look up at her and speak again, trying to make light of the situation.

“You don’t have to go with me if you don’t want to-” Grave starts, though a stern look from Hannah causes her words to go dry in her mouth.

“I’m not leaving you alone like this.” Hannah’s voice is sharp when she speaks, more of an order than a statement, but there was a veil of worry for the child behind it. Hannah wouldn’t leave her alone, in case she needed anything, Hannah had to be there in case.

“Okay…” Grave allows herself yo be lead out of the bookshop, feeling immediate relief when they get outside, the cold winter air smacking into her, starting to sooth her painful skin as Hannah stands near her.

“Wanna tell me what’s going on?” Hannah questions Grave. She could tell something was wrong with the kid, and didn’t quite know what. But it didn’t feel right to her. grave had been freezing to the touch, but was burning up, probably from the inside. It worried Hannah, though she kept her face composed.

“It’s not… I’ll sound crazy-” Grave starts, but once again Hannah cuts her off, the sternness in her voice back again, though the concern was more obviously mixed in as she leans down, slightly taller than Grave in her ten year old body.

“Kid, your skin is cold to the touch yet you’re burning up inside, something happened.” Hannah states as she leans down to be closer to Grave, eyebrows pulled together once again, eyes softer behind her glasses. “I promise I’ll listen.” She reassures the child, and she meant it. She wasn’t going to brush off the feelings of this kid. Grave knew what was going on, not Hannah, and she would listen to her if it meant getting the truth of what was going on with her.

“I-I um…” Grave chuckles slightly as she continues. “I actually already know you. I’m technically from the future, I know that sounds corny, a-and you were with me and I’d gotten stabbed and you said that Iden was coming and if he couldn’t come then I had to use my time fuckaroo power to go back to when the situation didn’t happen-” Grave sighs as she realises something. “You meant the temperature thing, didn’t you?” She asks, feeling dumb as Hannah’s face softens.

“I did, but that’s fine too.” She answers softly. In a strange way, she believed the kid. She knew when people were lying, and this kid had none of the signs. She wasn’t lying to Hannah, so she trusted the words that came out of her mouth.

“Sorry. But now I’m gonna be stuck here for a day. Anyway, about the weird temperature thing…” Grave sits on the floor. “get ready for a crazy ride!” She exclaims as she prepares herself to explain it to Hannah.

“Ready.” Hannah sits down next to her and turns towards her as she waits for Grave to explain everything to her.

“On August 14th, 2019, I went missing. I was riding on my bike and I saw some weird thing in the forest and me, being dumb, tired and downed an entire thing of Nyquil before riding, decided to go and check it out. The thing was ten feet taller than me and it didn't have a face but it had a flower bud like head that opened up to reveal it's teeth. I ran as fast as i could, but it caught me and it bit me. It ripped my left arm off. I passed out and woke up in a place that looked just like the forest, but darker. The trees were black and there was no sky. That place is called The Upside Down, a shadow or echo of our world basically. It's everything bad. There was an entire search party for me and nobody found me for a while, but on the first of September, my 'body' was found in a lake.” Grave begins playing in the snow as Hannah listens and processes. Hannah nods as she finishes speaking.

“Was it not yours?” She questions, tilting her head as she listens to Grave play with the snow.

“It wasn’t. The body was actually fake.” Grave explains, Hannah nodding.

“That makes sense.” Hannah agrees as Grave opens her mouth to continue.

“You, Leena Jake and Iden were there to see the body and you waited until everybody left to go into the room where they had my body and cut it open. There were no organs, just cotton.” Grave explains, making Hannah snort.

“Hah, what a shitty fake.” Hannah observed dully as she listens to Grave, taking in every word and mulling them over inside her brain. Despite this never having happened to her yet, the words made sense inside her brain, like perfectly cut puzzle pieces, slotting together to make a blurred image she couldn’t quite see yet.

“You found me in the upside down a week later, i don't know how but it was probably with your shadows. I was so pale and cold that you tried to get me to take a warm bath but I told you it was too hot and you said 'I could make it a little bit cooler but you have to warm up' and I said 'No. He likes it cold' and walked out of the bathroom. Nobody could get me warm. I had to go to this hospital and i went there for three days every week and I slowly started to forget you guys kinda. I didn't talk anymore unless spoken to and it started getting worse. I was a million times more pale and colder and I started to have visions of the thing coming to hurt people. And the only way to fix this is to...burn the shit out of me until it comes out of me...” Grave explains and Hannah nods.

“That’s why you were too hot…” She explains to herself, realising the situation as Grave becomes quiet, her words trailing off in the silence as Hannah hears her shuffling the snow with her hand, playing with it.

“Do you think something would happen if you burned it out?” Hannah questions the child beside her as she listens to the sound of the snow shifting places on the pavement below them.

“I mean, I’d be sweating a lot and I’d need to be cooled down before I pass out and it’s gonna hurt a l o t to burn it out but its worth it. I can just use heaters and stuff to do it-” Grave explains as she sits on the floor looking at the cold snow around her, feeling better now she was out of the building and in the cold.

“Why haven’t you?” Hannah asks, facing Grave as she asks the question, her voice lower and more serious than it had been before.

“I have to be tied down to do it. Every time I tried to do it, the thing would take over me and turn everything off. I can’t exactly tie myself down, so…” Grave explains, watching Hannah nod her head.

“That’s true, have you not asked me in that time?” Hannah asks quietly. Any other person would have blown this kid off as crazy, but Hannah knew there was truth behind her words, and that made her feel horrible that the kid had gone through all that at sixteen years old.

“I didn’t. I tries to play it off like nothing was wrong and tried to do the thing whenever I was home alone-” Grave cuts herself off as Hannah watches her talk about the other Hannah. She wondered what she was like in the future, hopefully much different than she was now.

“You should ask her. She’d do it in a heartbeat if she knew it would keep you safe.” Hannah’s voice is back to its normal dull state, but she was telling the undeniable truth to Grave. If future her was anything like current her, she would do pretty much anything for someone she cared deep enough about.

“Hhh okay… I will. Should your Iden know this or no?” Grave questions, watching as Hannah mulls the question over, scrunching up her face as she thinks.

“My Iden didn’t seem to recognise you in the way I did. It might be better for him not to know, lest he stress himself out.” Hannah explains, a gentle smile on her face.

“Alright, sounds good.” Grave smiles at Hannah. “I’ll be here for the next few hours, what do you wanna do until I can go back?” Grave asks Hannah.

“Well, Iden should be finishing around now, and he always had a ton of stuff to carry back to the house after Saturday shifts, so we can head back and see what happens?” Hannah poses, listening to Grave as she shifts in the snow to face her.

“Sure, sounds fun.” She says as Hannah gets up, extending her hand down to Grave as she smiles gently.

“He’s probably ready by now.” Hannah says as Grave reaches up and takes the hand, smiling as Hannah pulls her up.

“Lets go get the man-boy.” She jokes as Hannah opens the door and heads back inside, keeping it open behind them this time as they enter.

“Iden, you ready to go?” She asks, Iden coming into view with a large box of stuff, smiling as he carries the very heavy looking box.

“Yeah, I’m coming!” He exclaims as he shifts the box into his hips as he begins to usher them out of the shop, Hannah getting out her cane as she leaves. Once outside, Iden balances the box on his hip as he gets his key out, locking the door swiftly before starting to walk down the street in front of Grave and Hannah.

“How ya feeling by the way? Today must have been a lot…” Hannah asks as she and Grave walk down the street behind Iden. Hannah’s stoic face had a small crack in it, slight concern leaking out as she talks to Grave.

“Well my mind is fuzzy from time travel, I almost passed out about ten minutes ago and I’ve just found out its hard to do things with your powers while your blood is yeeting itself out of you… so I guess you could say I’m a little tired.” Hannah can feel Grave smile after she speaks and returns it softly. She had done more smiling today than she had for a while. It felt nice.

“How tired is a little?” She questions, not one to settle for vague answers when it came to things like this.

“Compared to how I usually feel with patrol and making things till 6AM on a Saturday, I’d say it’s barely tired.” Grave elaborates, making Hannah laugh.

“Good, I don’t want you passing out on me while we walk.” She jokes as they move, able to hear Iden ahead of them as he mutters to himself and hums.

“Don’t worry, I’ve had worse… he can’t hear us, right-” Grave questions, looking at Iden in front of them in a sudden fit of worry, though Hannah waves it off.

“Nah, he’s in his own world when he walks.” She explains as they follow him.

“G o o d. He can’t be freaking out over hearing that a ten, technically sixteen year old got stabbed and stuff.” Grave sighs as Hannah chuckles beside her.

“Yeah, don’t worry, he won’t know.” She reassures Grave, smiling as she thinks about how Iden would react. Yeah, he could never know.

“Hey, wanna know something funny?” Grave questions as Hannah instinctively turns her head to look at her, pretending to think on the question.

“Mmmm, sure.” Hannah answers simply as she listens to her feet crunching in the fallen snow, through she could still feel more falling around them, getting stuck in her hair and eyelashes as she walks.

“So me and Iden spar with each other a lot and i punch him in the chest. he doesn't even m o v e. i ask him what would happen if i punch him in his stomach, he says go on cuz he's curious too...and then i punched him in the face. he moved back a little bit. it wasn't a lot but it was an improvement.” Grave explains, listening to Hannah laugh in response.

“That is an improvement, I think I’m the only one who ever was able to move him with a punch, but that’s not amazing for us.” Hannah half explains, half jokes.

“I actually yeeted him last week. I know he’s strong as hell but I thought I killed him because he was quiet from laughing so hard-” Grave explains much to Hannah’s amusement.

“Yeah, he does that. it’s like a dying seal.” She explains, almost laughing as Iden comes to a short stop, turning down another road and heading to their house.

“He does not sound like a dying seal! He sounds as rad as he is.” Grave defends Hannah’s twin as she laughs.

“He can be rad and a seal.” She explains herself, listening as Grave flounders.

“I…” Grave nods in defeat. “Good point.” She admits, making Hannah laugh as they come to a stop outside the house.

“I know.” She jokes as Iden unlocks the door for them, letting himself in, followed swiftly by Hannah, pulling Grave in behind her as she shuts the door.

“Hh its c o o l in here. It looks noice.” Grave states as she looks around the space. It has a simple décor, but it suited the space well. Generally neutral things were met with occasional splashes of colour and light in the room in front of her, the living room.

“You’ll have to thank Iden for that.” Hannah jokes as she pulls her coat off, placing it on a hook hanging off of the wall.

“I will! By the way, normal you is going to remember this and so will you, so… yeah!” Grave smiles as Hannah turns to face her, pulling her sunglasses off to reveal her blacked out eyes, smiling.

“Well, I’m certainly grateful for that… come on, lets get inside the living room.” Hannah says calmly as she walks inside further, feeling Grave following after her.

“Okay.” Grave smiles as she follows her in. Iden can be heard unpacking things in the kitchen as Hannah sits on the sofa, feeling her normal tiredness washing over her, being displayed appropriately on her face.

“What do you wanna do, kid?” She questions Grave as she sits down, rubbing a hand over her face.

“I want you to go to sleep. You look sleepy.” Grave half demands, almost making Hannah laugh out loud at the stern voice she tried to put on. She settles for a smile at Grave.

“Kid, when you’re blind, you’re always tired. But, cant risk messing up my sleep schedule.” Hannah explains.

“I mean, I look kinda high all the time because I see everything like a heat wave on drugs, so I kinda understand that.” Grave explains as she watches Hannah.

“Exactly.” Hannah laughs tiredly as she continues. “Not seeing the world takes a lot out of you, but you learn to live with it.” She shrugs as she sits down, looking in Grave’s direction as she speaks. “So, anything you wanna do now that you’re here?” She questions the child in front of her, smiling.

“We can make up dumb stories that don’t make sense. Give me a sentence that makes so sense and I’ll start from that.” Grave offers, Hannah trying to come up with something only to find her mind was too tired to even try. Today had been a longer day than normal and Hannah was feeling the effects.

“I think my brain may be a little too fried to think of anything kid.” She admits.

“That’s fine! I can just fix my- oh wait… I don’t have it yet-” Grave says dully as she remembers, making Hannah tilt her head.

“Your what?” Hannah questions the child.

“My prosthetic arm. I don’t have it yet tho because my arm is still here.” Grave explains, looking down at the arm in question, completely intact on her ten year old body.

“That does seem to be the issue.” Hannah jokes in a light manner with the kid as Iden pops back in, done unpacking whatever he had gotten from the shop this time.

“It is, but I can easily make or fix something else… is there anything to fix?” She questions, not noticing Iden until he made a sound as he thought of an answer.

“Hmmmm, hey Han, are your special glasses still broken?” He questions, earning a glare from Hannah as he does, though he raises his hands in a defensive manner, knowing Hannah would know he was doing it, making her huff.

“f u c k y e a h, fixin time babey-” Grave exclaims as Iden walks to go upstairs, calling out behind him.

“I’ll go find them.” He explains as he heads up the stairs, feet thumping on the carpeted wood.

“Thank you!” Grave yells out, hearing Iden laughing as he walks upstairs, the noise carrying behind him. It takes him a few minutes to locate the glasses in whatever space Hannah had thrown them into, but eventually he comes back down with the glasses and a tool kit in hand, giving both to Grave with a smile.

“Go ham, kiddo.” He says happily as he heads into the kitchen to start making food. Hannah can hear him pulling things out and chopping with one of the many knives he insisted on buying.

“Thanks!!!” Grave’s smile widens as she starts to work on them. Hannah listens in amusement as Grave fixes the glasses within three minutes, only managing to cut herself once, making Hannah chuckle.

“That didn’t take long.” She remarks as she listens to Grave finish the glasses.

“Well I kinda know how to fix these already, so y e e.” Grave remarks as she hands them to Hannah, who puts them on a side table.

“That’s true, hey, why don’t you come sit up her with me.” Hannah suggests as she listens to Grave putting away the tools.

“Oki.” She can hear Grave get up and join her on the large arm chair Hannah sits in. “Hi, do you come here often?” She giggles at her own joke, her laugh very light and sweet, making Hannah laugh.

“I would love to say no, but…” She jokes, smiling. “Iden will be done with dinner soon, so you have that to look forward to here.” Hannah smiles again at the small child. “He’ll probably make spaghetti if I know him.” She laughs.

Noise can be heard at the mention of food, and Pudge, Hannah’s pit bull wanders in slowly, looking around and sniffing the air, able to smell the meat Iden was starting to cook. She wanders up to the chair, looking at Grave with inquisitive eyes.

“Babey!” Grave gasps softly as Pudge finishes her inspection of the new small human, jumping onto Hannah’s lap and applying small licks onto Grave’s face, making Hannah laugh at the noise as Misty can be heard starting to run down the stairs, loud thumps growing quiet as he too enters the living room.

He doesn’t give the small human a second thought, jumping on top of the chair, and on top of Grave by consequence, his large fluffy body almost engulfing her as he shuffles around on top of the two of them.

Grave laughs the entire time, happy with the attention from the dogs she knew so well from her teenage years, Hannah laughing as well as Iden eventually sticks his head back into the room.

“Dinners ready!” He yells, the dogs running off of them at the mention of food, going in search of their own which Iden had laid out for them in the kitchen as Hannah gets up and pulls Grave into the dining room with her, sitting down as Iden gets ready to serve the food.

The rest of the evening and night was fun. The meal was amazing, but Grave already knew it would be. Iden and Hannah seemed to become more like the versions of them she knew, cracking jokes with each other and interacting with Grave more and more. They huddled in a pile after dinner, watching random films Grave remembered from her childhood that she hadn’t watched in ages. Hannah and Iden were as they always were, kind and thoughtful towards her. when the twins eventually had to go to bed, Hannah lent Grave the space in her bed, happy to sleep on the sofa with the dogs. She met Grave in the morning as she was getting ready to go, giving her a big hug and smile as she watched her return to her own time, a small wave being given as she vanished.

#writing with friends #writing #my writing #original writing #not my oc #others ocs #one shot #original characters #original story #avengers au #alternate universe #tw blood #tw injury #sleepisafuckinglie #House of Hell

[howsit-going-toend]

Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down) Pt. 5

A Kwon Jiyong x Reader AU series featuring Kim Jiwon and Choi Seunghyun

Genre: Crime/Mafia/ANGST

Warnings: Swearing/Violence

Word count: 4,000+ (There’s A LOT going on here....)

Summary: You joined the police force years ago to help clean up the streets of Seoul and rid the city of organized crime. You’ve seen some shit. You’re surely prepared for anything…but how are you supposed to feel when the big bad crime boss you’ve been after turns out to be a familiar (to say the least) face?

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

The police force prepares you to handle and respond to just about anything; to be a master of balancing action/reaction in any scenario under limitless amounts of pressure. When you wear that badge, you should be ready to tackle whatever is thrown at you no matter what. In the four years you’d held your position, you’ve proven your capabilities through and through.

But the look on Jiwon’s face rendered you almost catatonic.

It was the look a child gives to a parent upon catching them stuffing their face with cookies that the child had left out for Santa Claus. It placed a massive weight on your chest that you would have done anything and gone anywhere to remove. You just sat there staring back at him, knowing it was impossible to take back the last three minutes. Your silence was enough of an answer for him.

His face left yours for no more than a second to recall the mixed company. There was an undeniable shift in the room’s tension as he offered Chief Kim a polite nod. “I apologize. Don’t let me interrupt.” His expression had softened. But it was a smile of his that you knew all too well. You knew exactly what he was thinking when he heard that name, and it ridded your heart with a massive amount of guilt to see him smile through it.

“Jiwon…” You began.

“Here.” He offered the paper bag out to you. “I got you breakfast from the food court. Let me know if you don’t like it and I’ll get you something else.” You couldn’t bring yourself to play along and respond.

The forced smile remained on his face as he bowed to Chief Kim before exiting the room once again. You continued to stare at the door, speechless, until your superior cleared his throat, returning to his own unanswered question.

You squeezed your eyes shut before looking back to him. “I’m sorry about that.” You muttered. “I know that it wasn’t on record anywhere in the basement. That’s because I saw him face to face…he was there when I was hurt…he gave the man the orders.” Your gaze fell to your right leg as you said those words.

Chief Kim shifted in his seat. “This is the first I’m hearing about this.”

“I know.” You paused, still unable to maintain eye contact as your heart and brain continued to wage their war against one another. “But it’s true.”

“You…know him?” He stated it as a fact more so than an actual question.

He sighed at your lack of response. “Y/N. I know I don’t need to remind you of the protocol that comes into play here. Personal connections to a case like this…it shouldn’t be allowed.” Your eyes shot up to meet his before he continued. “I don’t want to remove you from your position in this. Your qualifications and passion exceed damn near everyone, and you are a fantastic detective.” His stern look bore into you. “But I will not hesitate to shut this whole thing down.”

You shook your head. “No. No, Chief, I assure you I can do this. I’m just still shook up from what happened… I will get over it. I promise you.”

The look on his face oozed skepticism. You took a deep breath. “Yes I knew him… Once. That was a long time ago…Clearly, he is a different person.”

He took a minute to silently mull over your words before nodding his head. “All right…I do want to see where you take this case. I know what you are capable of, Y/N.” He paused for emphasis. “But the second I see this becoming an issue, I am putting an end to it. That goes for Seunghyun too. Do you understand?”

You returned a firm nod with zero hesitation.

Speaking to your superior helped reignite your desire to succeed. You silently reminded yourself to shake every ounce of emotion off and maintain your professional demeanor. At least on the surface. Despite how desperately you may wish otherwise, you know that you can’t change the past. You had a job to do and there was no time to waste on your feelings.

After all, you now had someone else’s to worry about.

The amount of anxiety that stayed bundled in your chest when Jiwon reentered the room was ungodly. The room was absolutely silent aside from your IV pump’s beeping and the sound his shoes made as they scuffed against the linoleum flooring. Once he took his place in the metal folding chair beside your bed, he grabbed your left hand and held it without a word. He didn’t even look at you. You watched him intently, feeling sweat slowly begin to bead at your hairline. The weight on your chest felt heavier and heavier as the minutes passed by.

He might as well have been screaming at you. Anything but this…aren’t YOU the one that got shot? What the hell do you have to feel guilty about right now? You had all intentions of telling him. You were going to…eventually.

“Aren’t you hungry?”

He uttered the words monotonously as he stared down at your fingers. It wasn’t what you’d wanted to hear but it was something. You sighed and nudged the untouched paper bag full of food.

“Yeah. I’ll eat some in a minute.” You offered a small smile despite the fact that he still hadn’t looked at you. He nodded his head slightly before silence fell on the room once again, putting a fast end to his attempt at a normal conversation.

The truth was, Jiwon never actually met Jiyong. Ever. There was a lot about you and Jiyong that he never even knew. Whether it was due to pent up insecurities, or jealousy…he knew enough to start countless fights. Even though you never really believed you did anything wrong or gave him any real reason to be mad at you, you apologized again and again, until it was all brought to an end years ago. It was Jiwon’s decision that Jiyong’s name was never to be spoken between the two of you ever again. Today, of course, had broken all of that.

Beep…Beep…Beep…

He brought his left hand up to his lips, which he kissed before gently lowering it to your right knee. His thumb slowly moved back and forth. You felt yourself relax slightly at the affectionate gesture, holding onto the hope that that subject had actually been left in the past, for good. His eyes lingered on your right leg protectively.

“So…that’s what he’s been doing all these years.”

Your warm expression fell. You should have known better.

Your responding silence made him look up at you and hold your hand a little tighter. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to get us into this again… We finished that conversation a long time ago.” He forced a small grin that you did your best to match. Three years ago actually, but who’s counting?

“I just can’t believe this.” He let out a sigh and shook his head, bringing his eyes back to your leg. “That son of a bitch…”

Discomfort began to fill your chest again as you readjusted your hand in his. You didn’t know how he expected you to reply to any of this. Your mind had been filled with so much confusion; you were proud of yourself for even remembering how to blink. He muttered something to himself, but the room’s dead silence made it impossible for you to not hear him.

“He’ll get his soon...”

Your eyes widened reflexively. Without taking another second to think up an actual response, your face contorted into a wince. “Aish.”

Jiwon removed his left hand from its position with raised eyebrows. “Are you o-?”

You cut him off. “Will you get the nurse? I…I think this pain medication has worn off.”

One week later

“And so, ya know, that’s why I wanted to meet with you in person today. I wanted to be sure you heard it from me first.” Dongjoo folded his hands together. The young man said the words with enthusiasm but his eyes never stopped shifting anxiously between the two men seated across from him.

Jiyong said nothing. He merely tilted his head to the side and narrowed his eyes, as if trying to convince himself that this really was the same man he’s known for years. The same man who, in the beginning, had appeared on his hands and knees quivering before Jiyong and begged like a dog for “just one more day.” Who had gladly “organized” thousands and thousands of dollars into his little tobacco shop at the drop of a hat, because he feared the name, G Dragon. Who’d answered any and every cop or government worker that grew the least bit suspicious, reading all his lines without missing a cue. There’s no way this was the same man who had just so confidently informed Jiyong that he’s decided to move his business to America, and would no longer require his men to “look after” him and his store.

After entertaining the thought for a minute, Jiyong raised his eyebrows in amusement and returned his gaze to the grill. Dongjoo’s smile faltered slightly. His eyes darted back to Jiyong’s partner, silently begging him to say something. Taehee offered no assistance, only staring back at the man with the same mute expression he’d been sporting all night. A small smile found its way to Jiyong’s face as he grabbed a set of tongs to rotate the beef. The loud sizzle it made helped to disguise the audible gulp from his, now former, business associate.

Jiyong continued to stare at the meat with watchful eyes as he brought his elbow to rest on the table, allowing the hand holding the tongs to support his chin. Dongjoo watched him closely, feeling the nervous sweat begin to bead at his forehead. A chill ran down his spine as Jiyong blinked before locking eyes with him once again; that same smile painted across his face.

“Well, that’s too bad.” Jiyong finally said, casually. “I’ve got to say, I’m a little disappointed.” He pointed the tongs at Dongjoo in a playful manner. “America doesn’t deserve your good business.”

Dongjoo burst out in an exaggerated laugh, making it clear he’d been holding his breath. “Oh come on now.”

“No, no, honestly.” Jiyong raised his eyebrows and nodded his head. “You come on; no one runs a tobacco shop over there like you do. No question.”

Dongjoo shrugged his shoulders and laughed again, visibly relaxing. “You’re making me blush. Enough, enough.”

“I think that’s ready.” Taehee interrupted and nodded to the beef.

“Oh here let me cut it.” Dongjoo began to reach for the scissors beside the grill, before Jiyong beat him to it.

“Oh no, please, allow me.” He grabbed the tool with his free hand. “This calls for a celebration. The least I can do is serve you some quality barbecue.” He grabbed the beef with the tongs and carefully eyeballed where to slice it.

“America…now that’s exciting.” He said with his eyes on the grill, lining up the scissors into position. “How’s the Mrs. feel about that?” Slice.

Dongjoo flinched at the sound, while furrowing his eyebrows at the unexpected personal question. “Oh uh.” Slice. “She’s ready for the change I think.” Slice. He laughed lightly.

“You think?” Slice. “Oh, you better know. Don’t want any issues being caused in the marriage because of this. Moving to another country is no small step.” Slice. “What about your daughter?”

Dongjoo laughed nervously once again. Slice. “She’s, uh, she’s excited.” Slice. “She’s only five so, you know, she doesn’t really have much of an opinion.” Slice. He reached up to scratch the back of his head uncomfortably. They’d never discussed his family before.

Jiyong smiled wider. “Ah, kids.” Slice. “They just go with whatever you say.” He looked up at Dongjoo and served him a few strips of beef. “They trust you.”

Dongjoo did an awful job at disguising his discomfort. He hesitated in bowing his head to accept the serving, and quickly averted his eyes to his plate. But Jiyong wasn’t done.

“When do you leave?”

Dongjoo looked up with his chopsticks still in his mouth, having just taken his first bite. “Huh?”

Jiyong was placing a few strips of beef on Taehee’s plate; he looked up to make brief eye contact with his partner before turning back to the nervous gentleman across from him. “I said when do you leave? For America?”

“Oh, ha…ha, in about a month.”

Jiyong raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Oh, well why don’t we just ride this thing out for another month then?” He asked before taking a bite of his own serving. His eyes didn’t leave Dongjoo, who began to shift in his seat as he stared back down at his plate.

“I don’t, uh…you know, with moving and everything that goes into it, I won’t be really doing much business and just-.”

Jiyong cut off his word vomit with a laugh, waving his hand with a full mouth. “I’m fucking with you. Do what you gotta do.”

“Oh.” Dongjoo chuckled out of relief once again. “Thank you. I-… I appreciate that.”

The rest of the dinner didn’t get any more comfortable than that. Jiyong continued to eyeball Dongjoo, who continuously blotted the sweat on his forehead, which he insisted was due to his angle from the grill. Taehee continued to stare blankly between the two of them, only mildly confused, until they all got up to leave. Jiyong held the door open, and as Taehee passed, he grabbed him by the shoulder and muttered something under his breath. Taehee looked at his boss for just a moment, before nodding and walking outside.

Dongjoo walked a little too eagerly in the direction of his car, parked on the opposite side of the building. As he began to walk through the narrow alleyway to get there, he turned to bid a quick goodbye to the two men. “Thank you for everything, gentlemen. I wish you nothing but the best.” He made a hasty bow, which Jiyong and Taehee returned, before turning on his heels.

Just as he’d taken a single step towards the safety of his vehicle, he heard Jiyong’s voice once again. But this time it was closer. He turned around to see the crime boss walking towards him at a leisurely pace. “Now, now. What kind of a goodbye is that? We’ve been through a lot together, you and me. You’ve got to give me more respect than that, right?” As he arrived before him, Jiyong reached his right hand out with an honorable grin.

Dongjoo’s face flashed with worry before quickly covering it back up. “Oh, I’m sorry, GD. I just don’t want the wife to worry, you know? Of course, of course. I surely didn’t mean any disrespect.” He reached a clammy hand out to make contact with Jiyong’s. “No hard feelings?” He asked with a hopeful smile.

Just as Jiyong let out a small chuckle, Dongjoo’s eyes flashed to Taehee. He was standing behind Jiyong, far back by the alleyway entrance, with his back turned to both of them. It took him less than a second for Dongjoo to understand what was about to happen.

As he locked eyes with Jiyong, who was holding his now quivering hand with a firm grip, he had no time to think before his skull swung forward to collide with his own.

Dongjoo released the hand he’d use to shake Jiyong’s as he flung his head back in pain. “Fuck!” His vision was blurred while he tried to look forward, seeing four Jiyong’s coming towards him, each with darkened expressions and their right fists reeled back.

His nose shattered the minute Jiyong made contact, sending Dongjoo’s body immediately to the alley ground. His hands flew to his face as if trying to manually preserve whatever features that remained intact. He coughed and spat out dark blood that had rushed in from his nostrils. Jiyong stalked towards him slowly, like a lion playing with its dinner. Dongjoo’s vision was even hazier now, but his fight-or-flight instincts had kicked in full force, giving him the strength to turn over onto his stomach.

Just as he attempted to bring his arms and legs in to hoist himself up, Jiyong lowered his boot to the man’s ear, putting in just enough pressure to push his head against the pavement. Dongjoo let out a piercing groan. Placing more of his weight into that leg, Jiyong leaned down to get a little closer to his face. As Dongjoo’s exasperated breathing and whimpering for mercy got louder, Jiyong shushed him.

“You know… I expected more from you.” His tone was menacing. “I considered you a friend, really.” Dongjoo cried out, too terrified to even attempt to move. “America? Yeah, buddy?” Jiyong chuckled. “You and I both know that’s fucking bullshit. I just gave you chance after chance and you just continued to lie right to my fucking face.” Jiyong leaned forward and spat on the ground right by the man’s broken nose. “You want to know something? You really think the Yang brothers are going to protect you better than we can? That’s a riot. What did they tell you about me, huh? Who do you think we’ve been protecting you from? Huh?” Dongjoo only sobbed more, his body shaking as the “please, please, please”’s and “I’m so sorry”’s continued to flow from his mouth just as quickly as the blood ran from his nose. Jiyong sighed in frustration. “Don’t worry. I’m not going to kill you. No, that wouldn’t be right to do to a family man. Just know that I will never forget about this.” He lifted his boot and allowed the man to hoist himself up to his knees. Dongjoo coughed violently, simultaneously gasping for the air he’d been hoarding in his lungs.

Jiyong dug into his pocket and threw a handkerchief on the ground in front of him, along with some cash. Dongjoo flinched, recoiling his arms across his face before looking down to see the stitched piece of cloth and the paper bills. Trembling, he looked up to lock eyes with Jiyong, whose dark expression hadn’t changed for a second.

“Wipe yourself off and get that nose looked at. Don’t you go home to your wife and kid and let them see this pathetic sight.” Dongjoo only cried in response, to which Jiyong let out a sigh. “What? What are you still doing here? Go.”

He didn’t have to tell him twice. Dongjoo picked up the money, the handkerchief, and himself up off the ground and stumbled his bodyweight in the direction of the far parking lot. Jiyong waited for the sound of his whimpers to fade and be replaced by the sound of an engine before turning back towards Taehee. He approached the man and placed his hand on his shoulder once again. “All right. Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

“Jesus, he did all that just now?”

Taehee nodded at his partner before taking another swig of the beer in his hand.

“Damn, he’s really not playing around these days...” Wonhae replied, ensuring to keep his voice down, knowing that Jiyong wasn’t far down from them at the bar.

Five men: Gyechul, Taehee, Wonhae, Gwangbok, and Jiyong, all sat side by side. The place was a favorite spot of theirs, which they frequently visited after a long day. It was old, secluded in the outer edges of Seoul, and run by people they knew like family. No other bar could be safer for clientele such as themselves.

“Weeell, we all know fucking why.”

Taehee and Wonhae looked over at their partner on their end of the bar, Gyechul, who’d already had his fair share of alcohol for the night. He was staring up at the little box television set with his mouth agape, intently watching the news. “Look! Look look look, there she is now. Pfffft.” He mumbled and pointed up towards the screen. The local news was broadcasting a story about a cop who’d been shot in a “gang related incident” and had “barely made it out alive.”

Gyechul let out a chuckle, muffled through his teeth. “Hey, look everyone we’re in a gang.”

Taehee spoke up in a firm tone. “Gyechul. Enough…Be smart.”

The man turned from the TV to laugh in Taehee’s direction mockingly. “Be smart…pfffft. If I was smart that night I woulda jus killed that cop…but noooo I was following orders.” He waved his hands in the air as he lazily dragged out each word.

“You’re not fucking killing anyone.”

Taehee closed his eyes in a wince, knowing this was bound to happen. He turned to the right to see their boss staring across the bar right through the three of them to Gyechul. Everyone went quiet.

Gyechul chuckled again. “Pffff, whatever you say boss. You see this?!” He pointed to the TV which now showed an old mugshot of his, displaying him as a wanted criminal. “Now we have this to deal with…the fucking news is after me.” He slurred.

“There would have been even worse news if I let you have ‘cop killer’ thrown on your record. I did you a fucking favor.” Jiyong said coldly, silently refusing to look at the TV.

Gyechul stared his boss down. “Ya know what? Fuck you GD. Fuck you and your favors.” He mumbled with his finger pointed in Jiyong’s direction. He pushed himself up into a standing position, slightly swaying back and forth. Jiyong closed his eyes and took a deep, annoyed, breath.

“Gyechul, stop. All right? Let’s get you some water.” Taehee attempted to intervene again.

“Hey, hey, I’m fine all right? It’s him who’s got the fucking problem.” He pointed at Jiyong again before letting out a drunken laugh. He then dramatically gasped and stared out into space. “P-p-put the gun down! This-this is my final warning! … Bang! AH!!” He flailed his arms in the air, falling against the bar while gripping his leg, and bursting out laughing. Jiyong wasn’t the slightest bit amused. The second he stood up, so did the other three men.

“GD, it’s ok. He’s just drunk. He doesn’t know what the fuck he’s saying. We’ll take him somewhere to chill out.” Taehee and Gwangbok attempted to alleviate the situation while Wonhae grabbed his out of line partner by the shoulders.

“What? Do you think I look fucking worried?” Jiyong spat.

“Touchyyyyy.” Gyechul mused, poking his head around Wonhae’s to continue talking at Jiyong. “Ya know, I’ve never seen you like this over someone. Especially a fucking cop. What’s up with that?! Huh?” He yelled belligerently. Jiyong said nothing. He just stared at the bar while the other men continued to try to calm things down. But Gyechul wouldn’t listen. “You know…it’s almost like she’s that girl.”

Jiyong looked right at him.

“Gyechul, shut the fuck up!” Taehee yelled while Wonhae attempted to smack the man to shut up. But he persisted.

“Noooo, come on, you guys know the girl I mean. The one we all fucking know about but no one ever says anything about because GD will freak the fuck out on them.” He narrowed his eyes at Jiyong, who looked ready for slaughter. “It’s her isn’t it?” He chuckled. “She’s the only one that’ll make you so fucking soft like that.” He pointed to the TV. “Oh but…..” He grinned. “She doesn’t make all of you fucking soft.” He sneered before groping himself mockingly.

Jiyong was on his side of the bar in seconds, with his hands gripping his collar. Jiyong has always been a very stoic person, but right in that moment there was a raging fire in his eyes. The other three men nearly tackled them both to stop whatever was about to happen.

Taehee grabbed Jiyong and pulled him back while the other two men pulled Hyechul away. Jiyong’s chest heaved as he took a deep breath to steady himself. He took a second to close his eyes while he waited for Hyechul’s drunken slurs to pipe down. When they finally did, and it looked like their night at the bar had finally ended, Jiyong got up to leave.

“Hyechul.” He announced.

“Yeaah?” The man turned his head, barely able to maintain eye contact.

“You watch yourself.”

After arriving back at his private home, having had enough bullshit for one night, Jiyong poured him and Taehee both a glass of whiskey. Amongst his four major partners, Taehee was by far his closest and most trusted. He knew better than to push any further, in regards to Jiyong’s feelings, than just one simple question.

“You ok?”

“Yeah.” Jiyong muttered, taking a pull from his glass.

Taehee nodded his head and paused for a minute to sip from his own. “Well… How about some music?”

Jiyong grinned and pointed at him before springing up and pacing towards his record collection. “Yes. What’re you feeling?”

“Anything.”

Jiyong was suddenly as giddy as a child. He stuck his hands in his pants pockets, sticking his tongue out slightly and narrowing his eyes as he looked closely at every title. As he began to feel overwhelmed by the amount of choices, Hyechul’s words from earlier made his mind wander back.

He gently began to flip through one of the older stacks of records he’d gotten from his parents’ house. He smiled sadly as he browsed through classic American tunes from Dion, to Chuck Berry, Frankie Valli, and even the Righteous Brothers. Every album had unique memories attached, but they all had one thing in common.

As he flipped past a Frank Sinatra vinyl, a small 45 popped out and nearly hit the floor. Upon saving it and flipping the cover over, a small gasp escaped his lips. It was a 7” Elvis Presley record with “Love Me Tender” and “Any Way You Want Me.” He wasted no time in putting it on and letting one of his most cherished memories return to him.

“Man, I love Elvis.” Taehee chimed in as the song began.

“Me too.” Jiyong smiled as he swayed in place, staring at the cover. A warmth filled his chest as he read the small words that had been handwritten on the front in white marker.

Love me tender, love me true. All my dreams, fulfilled

For my darling, I love you. And I always will

As he traced his fingers around the small heart that had been drawn by the last word, he was hit with an insane idea. In one second, he’d wiped the smile from his face and restored his stoic demeanor to look at Taehee.

“We’re not going over business right now, but I need you to do something for me.”

Taehee sat up straight and alert.

“Get me the address for Jungbu Police Station.”

#g dragon scenarios #kwon jiyong scenarios #bigbang scenarios #g dragon au #kwon jiyong au #bigbang au #g dragon fanfiction #kwon jiyong fanfiction #kwon jiyong angst #g dragon angst #kpop scenarios

[danfanciesphil]

Okay, I had this idea but I cANT WRITE SO hi,, a fic where dnp watch a horror movie and it really scares Dan and he can’t sleep so he gets up and goes to Phil’s room for comfort (you can choose the rest eheh)

loving that my followers are getting into the spoopy mindset in the first week of october, kudos. 

Enjoy! x

Come on, it’s Halloween, Dan! 

Phil’s words cartwheel through Dan’s mind, taunting him. Why does he ever listen to the prat? 

Scary movies on Halloween is the law. 

Dan had tried to protest. He had. There are times where a horror film seems like a fun, laughable activity to pass the time. In the middle of the day, for example, when the bright sunshine outside won’t fade for hours and hours, meaning that by the time it gets dark, Dan will have forgotten all about the gore and the jumpscares. 

A horror film late on Halloween night, however, is another matter entirely. It’s not that Dan doesn’t enjoy horror films. He appreciates them for what they are - an art form in their own right, a highly underrated genre that deserves more recognition. 

So, because he didn’t want to sound like a nutcase afraid of his own shadow, and because all his and Phil’s friends were watching him, Dan had surrendered. 

They’d watched The Grudge - a Phil-pick, obviously, as it stars his beloved waifu - and then Paranormal Activity, the first one. 

These two films in themselves hadn’t been that bad, even. Dan has seen them both before multiple times, so he figured he might be okay. But then someone, PJ, Dan thinks, suggested Guillermo Del Toro’s The Orphanage, which Dan had not seen before tonight. 

Why are foreign language horror films so much more terrifying? Perhaps the subtitles force you to look at the screen instead of hiding behind your hands. 

Or maybe Dan is just a wuss. 

So now, Dan is laid in his bed, his lamp still on. He’s been flat on his back, every limb securely beneath the covers, for what must be an hour now, maybe longer. 

He’s frozen, rigor mortis having set in prematurely as he lays in the dark, at 3am, waiting to be murdered by Tomas, a deformed little ghost boy with a sack on his head. 

This is all fucking Phil’s fault. 

The more Dan thinks about his predicament, the more he thinks Phil should really be the one to pay the price for it. After all, he himself looked a little pale after finally switching the TV off once The Orphanage had ended. In fact, as people began to file out of their door, they seemed a little shaken. Dan remembers, as he waved goodbye, that he really, really didn’t envy them, heading off separately into the wee hours on Halloween night. 

So yeah, Phil should definitely feel bad about traumatising everyone. If anyone should be punished for bringing on this post-horror film anxiety, especially when he knows Dan gets scared, it’s Phil. 

Dan thinks about it for around five minutes longer, trying and trying to summon an ounce of courage from the base of whatever flimsy noodle has replaced his spine. 

Then, resisting the urge to scream in terror, Dan throws the covers off himself, and jumps off the bed, bolting to his bedroom door so fast he’s a little shocked at his agility. 

He yanks the door open and runs through, then sprints over into Phil’s room, closing the door behind him before leaping onto the bed. 

Phil immediately yelps in fear, which makes Dan scream in return. They both cower from one another, petrified and confused, and then Phil flicks on his bedside light. 

He has no glasses on, and he’s squinting. His hair is sticking up every which way, but he has his hand out in a karate chop stance, as though his plan were to battle an intruder with his kung-fu skills from beneath the duvet. 

“Dan?” Phil asks after he’s registered what’s going on. He’s breathing heavily, clearly still panicked. “What’s going on? What are you-?”

“I’m sleeping in here.” Dan tells him crossly, shoving his legs under the covers and shuffling down. “Don’t try and argue with me.” 

Phil stares at him. Dan can practically hear the cogs whirring in his brain as he attempts to process what’s going on. 

Then, a smile breaks across Phil’s soft, pink mouth. He shuffles down to lie beside Dan, staring at him amusedly from the other pillow. 

Dan scowls in return. 

“You’re scared.” 

“Fuck you.” 

“You know, I swear I thought I saw some long black hair peeking out from under that pillow…”

“I fucking hate you.” 

“You’re right, nothing will yank you out of bed and down the hall.” Phil smiles sweetly. “Well, probably.” 

Dan hits him multiple times in the shoulder, making Phil laugh. “You’re such a dick! You knew I’d get scared!” 

“Ow!” Phil chuckles, seizing hold of his wrist to stop him. “Look-”

“How many times have I told you that I can’t watch horror films before bed?” Dan demands accusatorially. “The way I see it, you’re the one that got me in a state, so you’re the one who has to deal with my insane paranoia.”

Phil tries to look ashamed, but he’s still smiling. Dan growls, turning over so he’s facing the other way. Of course, this means he’s facing the dark void of Phil’s unlit bedroom, but that can’t be helped right now. 

He shuts his eyes so he doesn’t torture himself with picking shapes out of the shadows. 

“I’m a bed hog, by the way.” Dan bites out. “Not sorry.” 

“You act like I don’t know that already.” 

This catches Dan off guard, and he opens his eyes for a moment, forgetting the darkness swarming from all sides. 

“We haven’t shared a bed in years.” 

“Did you ever consider that maybe I had an ulterior motive, plying you with horror films tonight?”

A shiver cascades over Dan’s body, rippling goosbumps into his skin. This time, they aren’t born of fear. He turns, slowly, flipping over to face Phil again. 

He eyes the older man with suspicion. “You mean to tell me… that you knew if I was scared enough, I’d…”

“Crawl into bed with me?” Phil supplies, still smirking with amusement. “I might have remembered that’s something you used to do after our scary film nights way back when.” 

Dan’s mouth falls open, indignant. “You manipulated me.”

Phil nods happily, seeming completely unconcerned by this. “I wanted to cuddle you.” He pauses, flushing slightly. “I’ve wanted to for ages, actually.”

The information passes over Dan, seeping into his skin, rushing through his blood. It doesn’t seem real. Perhaps this is all a strange, adrenaline-induced dream. 

Partly to be sure it isn’t, and partly because Phil is still a fucking dick, Dan hits him in the shoulder again. 

“You could’ve just asked me!” 

“I thought you might find it weird.” Phil confesses, shrugging. “This was way more likely to work.” 

Dan reddens, hating his own predictable nature. He shifts and scowls, resisting the urge to stick his tongue out at Phil like a child. 

“Fat chance,” he mumbles. “No way I’m cuddling someone who tortures me with my worst fears just to get me into bed.”

Phil doesn’t say anything, so Dan looks into his face, suspicious. Phil is staring at something over Dan’s shoulder, eyes wide and unblinking. 

“Dan, is that… Tomas?” 

Dan shoots forwards into Phil’s arms so fast it almost winds them both. Phil laughs for what seems like fifty years, not letting Dan wriggle out of his grasp, so Dan does the only thing he can think of to shut Phil up. 

When he draws back from the kiss, he notices goosebumps along Phil’s arms. 

#have a prompt for me? drop it in my ask box! #thank you darling #hope you liked it! #anon #ellen answers #prompts #fluff #halloween

[monsta-sextories]

Study Buddy- 3

Son Hyunwoo

word count: 2159

🎧 The Wolf - Miniature Tigers

You spend the rest of the weekend locked in your bedroom under the covers. At some point you almost convince yourself you must be sick, because you don’t do much besides sleep. Every time you wake up, you think about kissing Hyunwoo and what a mistake it was. So to avoid hating yourself, and freaking out, you just fall back into your pillow and hope you’ll wake up in another life.

Of course, there’s no such luck. And when Monday rolls around, you’ve gotten barely any work done and you have to face one of your busiest study session days. You do your best to gather as much pep as you can from one cup of coffee before you have to race out the door with a bag and an arm full of books. On the bright side, it’s nice out… almost too nice, and you start to sweat as you make your way to the tutoring lab.

You have everything down to a routine. Your schedule is fairly consistent. So you expect your first session of the day to be applied calculus with Julia from the softball team. She’s usually right on time, so you check your messages for any cancellations. There’s no text but a reminder set on your phone letting you know that Julia’s session was cancelled today for a game which she told you about a week ago. 

Right… I don’t have to be here right now. I couldn’t have set that for an earlier time? 

Your heart sinks a bit because your next session isn’t for another two hours and its with none other than Son Hyunwoo.

You wonder if he’ll actually show up, and cant help but face palm as you start to think about the other night. You flip open a text book and try to concentrate on the material, just to brush up since you have time now. Your mind wanders a bit, but not enough to miss a whole two hours. So you are completely unprepared when you see Hyunwoo way too early, smiling as he approaches your desk.

Your heart starts beating faster and you wish you could runaway, but he’s just sauntering over to you like normal. His smile is so huge, you don’t notice much else as your frozen in place. When he’s finally standing in front of you he holds out some paper for you. You nearly flinch when he does, but he doesn’t seem to notice. You examine the paper in front of you, its actually a thick stack of paper stapled in the corner, and you reach for it slowly.

When you flip it over, you read Hyunwoo’s name, a course title, one of the trickier ones he’s been having trouble with and see a large dark red A+ in the corner. Your eyes widen in excitement, and for a moment you forget about the anxiety you were feeling.

“Hyunwoo! I knew you could do it!” you say standing up out of your seat. Your still not at eye level with him, and there’s a desk between you, but your instincts are telling you to hug him. Luckily, your brain catches up to you fast enough and stops you before you can do that, making you look just a bit awkward.

He’s still smiling as he looks at you holding the test in your hand.

“Uh, here,” you say handing it back to him and slowly taking a seat. He seems a little confused by your changes in response, but he’s flying a little too high on his own happiness to think somethings wrong.

“All that studying really paid off,” he says but than surprises you as he sinks down into the chair across from you. “I couldn’t have done it without your help,” he finishes.

“Uh, I’m sure that’s not true… but uh, you’re early,” you say, wondering when the smile is going to fade and he’s going to remember what you did. A scary thought pops into your head.. what if he doesn’t remember? Part of you would be relieved, but that’s so not... right.

“I just wanted to show you that,” he says without moving. He’s sitting so relaxed in the chair, but still can’t seem to hide his smile.

“You’re really happy about that,” you say feeling your gut tighten a little bit. You feel oddly guilty and you can’t really understand why.

He just nods. “Are you waiting for someone?” he asks.

You should lie you think, buy yourself some time… until later, when you’ll have to face him anyways

“Uh I had an appointment, but I forgot they cancelled…” you say trailing off. He looks at you like everything is normal. 

What the hell, he must not remember.

“So I guess not,” you say softly.

“Cool,” he says with a goofy grin. “Wanna go get coffee?”

You’re surprised by the invitation, and it catches you off guard, but makes you feel both sick and excited.

“Um, Hyunwoo…” you start, not knowing what to say. “Do you… remember…” you try to continue earning you a concerned look.

“The other night.”

His eyebrows raise for a second and then he leans forward a bit with a soft expression you don’t understand. “Yeah, I wanted to make sure you got home okay,” he states. You wait for him to say something else, but he seems to leave it at that.

“I mean, yeah… but… so do you remember?”

He looks back at you waiting for you to finish the question. 

Just spit it out.

“I kissed you.”

Hyunwoo’s expression doesn’t change. He still seems uncertain… he must not have remembered. 

Oh god.

“Yeah,” he says calmly, but there a very small shyness. “Then you took off,” he says reaching for the back of his neck. You feel like he’s putting something together, the way his eyebrows furrow.

“I know, I’m really sorry. And I promise it will never happen again. I didn’t mean to break your trust, or creep you out… I was just… I wasn’t thinking and I just… I’m sorry.”

You say it all too fast, and hope no one can hear you. He looks at you with an unreadable expression that makes you think you may have just ruined the entire mood.

“Please don’t stop coming here for help. If you want to see a new tutor, I completely understand.”

You notice how he takes a deep breath, and he looks like he wants to say something. You wait patiently, before considering another apology before he finally speaks with a slight smile, and his gaze downcast.

“I wasn’t upset,” he says. “That you kissed me.”

If your eyes hadn’t bulged out of your sockets before, they were now. What?

“You weren’t?” you ask, trying to stay calm.

He shakes his head no, and you can’t help but stare at him.

unbelievable. What does that mean?

He waits silently for a few seconds before looking down at the time on his phone. You still can’t exactly understand what’s going on, or what this means. But you’re clearly taking too long to wrap your head around this, as the silence drags on a bit longer.

“So would you like to uh, go get coffee?” he asks again with a hopeful smile, that seems to border on nervous.

“Uh, yeah,” you say when you finally find your voice.

…

To avoid sweating, you left your jacket behind in the tutoring lab. Today is a nice day, really nice. So nice, that everyone seems to be out on campus right now. You walk alongside Hyunwoo trying to recover still, as you make your way to the café across campus. You can’t help but feel strange, wondering if people are taking note of the two of you together. Hyunwoo has a lot of friends, in fact he gets waves and highfives, and people call his name almost wherever he goes- including now. And you, well you walk silently pretending it doesn’t bother you. Actually you’re sort of thankful for those interruptions because you have no idea what you’re supposed to say right now.

There are a few once overs you get, mostly from other girls walking in groups. But honestly, it feels like most of them look through you just to see Hyunwoo as they whisper and giggle. You never noticed before how bad it really was. And Hyunwoo doesn’t seem to think much of it. Or he’s really that oblivious.

“You know everyone,” you say without thinking.

He looks down at you and shrugs.

“Not really,” he says.

“Oh please, we’re just walking across campus and you’ve been stopped like five times.”

He smiles shyly with a short laugh, “I’ve never really thought about it.”

“Clearly,” you say as you notice an outside table of girls starring at the two of you as you walk by. One of them is sort of familiar looking, you’ve seen her around Hyunwoo a few times. So you already see it coming when she calls his name and gives him a flirty wave.

Hyunwoo waves back with a blank expression, but the rest of the girls at the table smile at each other and whisper something to the familiar one. She’s beautiful, you note. All of them are really.

“Who was that?” you ask, trying to sound natural.

Hyunwoo looks down at you, and then furrows his eyebrows like he’s trying to think.

“Amber? Or Ashley, maybe?” he answers scratching the back of his head.

“You don’t know?” you ask with a laugh.

“I don’t think she’s ever actually told me her name. She just, expects me to know it,” he says with a short laugh.

“If I was that pretty, I’d expect you to know my name too,” you joke.

“You think she’s pretty?” he asks seeming a little unsure. “Prettier than you?” he asks with a confused look. You aren’t sure if it’s rhetorical, or if he’s even being serious, but its absurd enough that you find yourself gawking at him.

“Uh, yeah. She’s gorgeous, and you can’t tell me you don’t know she has a crush on you?”

He flusters a little bit, and his mouth twitches into a small half smile.

“Ehh, I wouldn’t call it a crush… she’s like that with a lot of people. I think it’s just her.”

You can’t help but stare at him. He has to be joking.

“Hyunwoo,” you laugh, “you’re… you’re something else.”

He smiles at that as you continue walking, almost reaching the café. When you do he opens the door for you and you walk in feeling a little giddy about it.

“What do you want?” he ask leaning down a bit to ask you. You’ve always noticed how tall he is, but it’s been awhile since you were standing close enough to really appreciate the height difference.

“Uh, I was just going to get an iced coffee,” you say. You’re about to pull out your wallet when he stands upright and reaches for his own. Your eyes are still searching your bag for your money when he takes two steps to the counter and orders for you both.

You’re a second away from pulling out the cash when you see he’s already swiping his card for both drinks. At first you think, Aw… and then immediately you think, what the hell is going on here?

“You didn’t have to do that,” you say as he follows you around to the side of the counter to wait for your drinks. “ I wasn’t expecting you to pay…” you say in lieu of a thank you.

“I know,” is all he says and flashes you a small smile. He tucks his hands into his pockets as you both wait and you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t impossible to look away from him. You can’t help but smile to yourself.

This time you catch yourself thinking back to the way his lips felt against yours. Although the memory is hazy from the quickness and the alcohol and the fear that built up afterward, it still feels more dream like than anything. At least now, you don’t cringe about it. At least now, your thinking maybe it will happen again.

He takes both drinks before handing yours over, and you notice the way he wipes a bit off the side without even thinking before he gives it to you.

He wasn’t upset, you tell yourself. Which isn’t the same as liking it so don’t get your hopes up…

He leads you to an empty table next to a window and waits for you to sit down before doing the same. You haven’t had any alcohol, so there’s no excuse for the way you’re eyes land a bit to comfortably on his lips. They circle around his straw, and for a second you think you can perfectly recall the exact fit of them.

He wasn’t upset… you think again with a smile. He notices, but without question he just smiles back.

Maybe this is how it starts.

<< previous

#Monsta X #monsta x smut #monsta x shownu #Son Hyunwoo #shownu smut #shownu fanfic #shownu imagines #kpop smut #kpop imagines #monsta x fanfic #fanfic

[calangkoh]

alphonse elric post-cos headcanons

based on my “teenage alphonse elric would be an absolute nightmare” post except it’s not as funny anymore now it’s just sad

al actually does have a lot of angst going on so let’s talk about that before we talk about how it manifests in his teenage behaviors: first off, general ptsd. now that his memories are back and he has a body and like, a brain to torment him, he’s gonna be having nightmares and flashbacks and anxiety and paranoia and days/moments where he’s feeling so overwhelmed where all he can do is sit in terrified silence. his survivors guilt from the end of the series returns and then multiplies, because he shouldve died but ed brought him back and now he and his brother are together and somewhat happy and it doesn’t seem fair. he also was the cause of the destruction in central, which definitely killed a buncha people. he has so so so much survivors guilt and has a hard time appreciating anything because it always comes with guilt. hes also resentful to ed for making his sacrifice at the end of the series mean nothing. like ed couldve had his limbs back and be happy in amestris but no ed had to play sacrificial ping pong and bring al back and make things ten times more complicated and make al have to live with all the guilt he feels

again before we get into what a nightmare al is i wanna talk about what an angel he is first (because to me it makes sense to talk about the good first and let you leave with the bad lmao). and it has to do with ed’s struggles. al knows his brother and knows how to calm him and take care of him and knows his patterns. at first al is frustrated with himself because ed has changed a bit and he has to readapt to this. at first he feels like he doesnt know his brother anymore, but he catches on pretty fast. Al is an angel because he still takes great care of ed, and knows how to tend to his needs. He can tell when ed is having a bad day, when he’s on the verge of a panic attack, when he’s anxious, and just in general knows all his ptsd markers and how to care for them. als teenage behaviors are also his way of defending ed from how messed up he is. he doesnt want ed to know hes struggling because he knows ed will blame himself. honestly as codependent as the elric brothers are, they have poor communication because they always want ot protect the other, but it never works because they know each other too well and can see right through each other. but they never talk about it. They just act on it. both of them are the most self-blaming people on the planet and it just snowballs because they’re aware the other is self-blaming, which they self-blame for, etc etc etc.

now onto teenage behaviors. so all this angst is what’s motivating it. and obviously, he misses home, too. and hes thrown into this totally different world and he doesnt know what to do with himself. i mean, ed has a resume now from working with alfons’s team, but he’s not gonna keep working for nazis so he’s gonna go get a research career at a university and be successful and probably even be a professor (this idea makes me extremely happy tbh). meanwhile al is like wth do i do with my life? some more relatable teen angst of “what is my purpose in this sucky world.” ed tries to include al in his work but al just is too distracted and depressed to be interested.

so what does al do? he snaps at ed a lot. Post cos ed has learned sensitivity and warmth (like in cos i really got that sense from him that he learned more social skill and grace) and he literally big brothers al all. the. time. and it comes from him caring for al’s mental health (like he knows what al is going through to a tee but he just doesnt know how to communicate verbally with him about it). he’ll bring work home with him and try and get al in on it and al will snap at ed ti leave him alone. ed will offer to take al to work and al will get pissed because why cant he just mind his own business and stop treating him like a kid? ed will offer to do things with al, he’ll do little things to try and make al happy and damn al is terrifying. i mean i have a personal story here: my older sister smothers me a lot and senior year of high school (she was living at home after graduating college) and im sitting in my room and she comes in without knocking, and in the sweetest voice is like “look at this shirt i had that you can wear to school!” and in the most demonic voice possible i just say “get out of my room” and she justs squeaks out “okay” and leaves looking terrified. Like THAT is ed and al. Ed will do something totally unexpectedly thoughtful to try and help al and al will just be a total shit leaving ed with nothing to do but run away for his life because nothing is scarier than a moody, teenage alphonse elric.

So yeah at first al just stays at home alone, wondering, “high school? or factory job?” And just isolating himself from the scary outside world that he doesnt recognize.

When ed takes him out al is so quiet. Ed talks pretty excitedly about his day, trying everything to help his brother out (because god he was just as miserable when he came to this world and the only reason ed is genuinely doing well now and is actually pretty happy despite his mental illnesses is because al is with him now. And ed just wants to freaking save al from this pain but it just...isnt working. he knows its not that he isnt enough; he knows al would rather be with ed here than in amestris without him but god he still cant help how muh self loathing he feels that he cant help his brother like hes able to help him) and al just zones out and plays with his food or sips his tea or looks at the sidewalk. its not that he doesnt care about his brothers day or that he resents him for being happy, its that he just does not have the energy to be present. and then that is snowballing because he feels like a sucky brother and then he feels like hes self-pitying too much and then its just this endless cycle

So al goes to high school because ed thinks the mental stimulation and learning about this worlds culture and science would be better than throwing him into a factory job. thing is, people who stayed in school past 14 in this time period tended to have money. And while ed makes money, he only makes enough to put al in high school and then provide the bare minimum after. and al cares about his appearance and about what others think about him. its just his personality. and even though hes a brilliant kid who picks up on what hes learning really quick, he still doesnt know much about this world and its current events and honestly amestris is so much more modern so al is confused about certain restrictions and stuff like that. so in school al is this poor, socially awkward, but super-good-at-school teachers pet and dude he is so so bullied and has no friends. remember he also has the mind of a 17-18 year old and so definitely appears to be an old soul among his actual 13-14 year old peers. so hes extremely outcasted. but now he also has a temper and he gets into fist fights.

now you’d think al would pummel these kids, right? Well no. you see when al gets into these fist fights, it kinda triggers memories of being in the armor and he becomes clumsy and out of touch with his body and sometimes forgets how to even move. some fights are better than others and the bullies are pretty shocked this kid has any skill at all, but al never wins against this entire group of kids

so yeah al comes home beat up and ed gets majorly pissed but now that theyre in this…normal life, having your big brother come into the rescue is not awesome. And ed doesnt get that because, well, when your bro is being beat up isnt the right thing to do to beat up the guy thats putting his life in danger? like these are eds survival/protective instincts from years of adventure and danger, so al telling him not to do anything is like...what? he doesnt understand. and al is getting super defensive about the whole thing. “Its none of your business” “leave me alone you’re not in charge of me” etc etc. and in a rational moment, al calmly explains that ed doing anything about it will make it worse. and now ed feels even more helpless and we all know that that is the worst thing ed can feel

and al is just such a nightmare now because hes getting in physical fights and sneaking out and losing his temper and snapping at people and being grumpy and rude. i can write a whole other list of headcanons for alter wrath both exacerbating his behavior but also helping his mental health (like him being friends with alter wrath/rudi as the fandom has named him really makes a “things get worse before getting better” situation

#calangkoh #meta #headcanon #alphonse elric #fma #fma 03 #fma 2003 #cos #conqueror of shamballa #fullmetal alchemist #edward elric #i tried writing