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#bomb ticking
slut4poets · 1 year
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I’ve got to breathe before I explode
A bomb before the storm
My life kept inside
That can’t go right
These feelings left at night
Half empty or half full? they ask
How should I know? I am blind
- struck
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hedgehog-moss · 5 months
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9am: Pirlouit & I are waiting for the farrier; it's Hoof Day! The farrier always tends to run late so I have a thermos of tea and a breakfast pastry to eat as we wait. Pirlouit has been offered some hay and has refused to eat it because he's sulking because it's hoof day.
Isn't it nice to get a pedicure, Pirou?
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9:10am: The farrier is late and Pirlouit is worried, wondering what we're waiting for here on the road. Maybe he has been sold? to a sadistic new owner? who's going to shove him into a crate and send him to the salt mines like the donkeys in Pinocchio? Plus, he's more stressed than usual today because one of his hooves hurts (hence the farrier appointment), he's been limping for a few days and he doesn't know what the farrier will do to the hurt hoof. I told him there's only a 30% chance that he'll amputate it.
9:15am: Pirlouit's family is here to support him though! Or, in the case of Pampérigouste, here to puzzle out a vexing mystery.
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9:17am: The llamas have grown bored of standing there in support and have started eating the brambles near the gate (supportively). Very good initiative, I approve. Also I thought Poldine was trying to eat the brambles outside the gate (greener on the other side and all that) but no, she was trying to fit her head through the bars for a little kiss </3
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9:20am: Even Merricat is being supportive. (Well, she's waiting for me to go home so she can finally take her first morning nap in my lap.) Also Pirlouit has found some grass under the leaves and temporarily forgot all of his worries.
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9:22am: Poldine is determined to kiss this cat.
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9:24am: The farrier is here! As always he starts doing Pirlouit's hooves right there in the middle of the road, and if a car shows up well, "they can wait a few minutes... On n'est pas aux pièces" (this is a phrase for "there's no rush" that I've never heard anyone but my grandma use, it's nice to hear it again!) There aren't any cars anyway.
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9:27am: Pirlouit's hurt hoof has been diagnosed: he has an abscess. Since this autumn has been relentlessly rainy I thought perhaps it was a fungal infection—but the farrier told me he's been treating a lot of abscesses lately, as the very wet weather softens hooves which allows bacteria to enter.
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9:30am: The abscess was successfully drained and Pirlouit is now wearing a fashionable hoof bandage. He was very calm and brave throughout <3
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9:35am: The farrier left his car by the side of the road, and after releasing Pirlouit we crossed the pasture to go home have a cup of coffee.
9:45am: The farrier is gone; end of the post :)
10am: Pampe is gone, too.
Well, she probably left around 10am but I didn't immediately find out as I had more pressing problems. After the farrier left I went to get a small apple to reward Pirlouit, and when I returned to the pasture and he came over for his treat, I realised he was limping. But on the other side. We've just treated his right front hoof, and he is now holding up the left front hoof...
9:57am: After giving Pirlouit his apple I go home in a hurry to call the farrier and ask him to come back. But there's almost no mobile service around here and I can't reach him. This is so frustrating, he can't be very far... On a hunch I call a horse farm not far from here, maybe it's hoof day for their horses as well?
10am: It's not, they have no farrier appointment today, but when I explain my predicament the woman on the phone goes "if it's just to drain an abscess I can send you a guy who'll do it, no worries!" Every time I've had someone from this farm on the phone to ask something or other, they've offered to Send Me A Guy. It's never the same guy too, they have an endless supply of guys.
10:05am: Having accepted gratefully, I return to the pasture to catch poor Pirlouit again, who thought I was done bothering him for today. As I wait for The Guy, I find a spot with some unexpected mobile service and start googling hoof hardeners, because maybe if Pirou's prone to abscesses it's worth having something in prevention for wet months?
10:15am: I receive a text from the guy.
"Is it normal that your llama is on the road with a dog? They are going to [village]."
10:16am: I reply to the guy.
"It's neither normal nor abnormal."
10:17am: I tie Pirlouit to a tree and run back to the barn to get some muesli. Then start running on the road, trying to figure out how Pampe escaped, and the answer seems obvious: after his coffee the farrier crossed the pasture again to get back to his car, and he knew about the Special Anti-Pampe Safety Knot 3000 but either forgot and closed the gate like a normal person, or didn't do it correctly. Pampe in her little llama brain knows very well that most visitors don't know about the Anti-Pampe Knot so she hurries to check the gate after a stranger leaves her pasture. Meanwhile I was busy noticing Pirou's limp and trying to call the farrier back and I didn't check the gate as I usually do.
10:20am: The guy has found me trotting on the road with my muesli and picked me up in his car. We go back to where he last saw Pampe. I apologise for wasting his time and he tells me "I've heard of your llama" in a tone half-sympathetic half-fatalistic.
10:24am: Pampe & Pandolf have been located; are having the time of their lives. Pandolf is a bit sheepish when I call him, though. He loves going on adventures with his best friend so much but he knows it's a bad dog thing to do for some reason :(
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10:34am: The Guy is trying to push Pampe forward with his car while I try to attract her towards me with my muesli in a carrot-and-stick routine; Pampe occasionally veers off-road to eat some leaves, inspect the mud in the ditch, pretend to admire a cloud while secretly brainstorming strategies.
Guy's commentary: "This is worse than dealing with an escaped horse. I feel ignored. I feel powerless."
10:39am: Pampe is home! She didn't actually go very far. But since she hadn't locked the gate behind her, when we arrived we found Pampelune on the road as well, just sort of waiting for us like a sentinel. Pirlouit was still tied to his tree staring at his inexplicably orange foot, and Poldine was panicking because her mother had abandoned her for the millionth time and her grandma had left the pasture too and she couldn't figure out how :((( All she had to do was fiddle with the gate with her nose really, but it never occurred to her to do so, she's too innocent. She only inspects gates in order to figure out how to kiss someone through them. So she was alone in the pasture trotting in circles, making undignified sad goat noises when Pampe & I returned.
10:53am: Pirlouit's other hoof has been treated, hopefully he'll feel better and stop limping soon... I'll have to remove the bandages with scissors, clean both hooves and re-do the bandages in a couple of days which is probably going to be a whole Thing, considering he's suspicious of buckets of water and scissors and objects in general. But as for now everyone is in the pasture having some celebratory hay and Pampoldine is deeply relieved to find that she hasn't been abandoned by everyone forever (as she assumes every single time.)
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Also I realised I only paid the farrier half of what I owed him... I had prepared the exact sum but I had half in one pocket and half in another which was a risky idea. And neither of us checked what I was handing him, or noticed. He called me back when he arrived in a place with mobile reception and I told him about the whole affair and he said it's a good thing I accidentally paid him half because he didn't see the other abscess and failed to make the Anti-Pampe Knot 3000 so "it's a fair discount." So I got a half-price farrier visit thanks to Pampe (partly)... I won't tell her because she already thinks she's doing the world a favour by escaping (free fence integrity checks, free cardio training for me by forcing me to do interval running, free entertainment for everyone, plus her modest contribution to cosmic chaos.)
11am: I meant to take an "all's well that ends well" photo of the whole family but I realised Pampe is making her angry hammerhead shark face because her adventure was very short-lived and I didn't even take a picture of her escape, as I'd left my phone in my coat pocket under Pirlouit's tree (& supervision) when I went after her. (I figured I was about to run for 15min and would not need my heavy coat)
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She thinks I did it on purpose to demoralise her by refusing to document her victories. But she's not giving up.
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littlebitofdnd · 1 month
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Sandra-Lynn and Sklonda are having a "What Do We Do About Kristen" phone call as we speak
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ezgurple · 1 year
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WARNING!! DO NOT MAKE DONNIE MAD
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annadeef · 1 year
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Continuing my series of these two problematic lesbians @artbytesslyn
>>> pt 1
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vacant2007 · 1 year
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pocketgalaxies · 1 month
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crazy how in c2 they'll have three extensive convos checking in with each other while traveling like an hour in-game meanwhile in c3 they've been on the moon for days and still haven't discussed the following:
laudna fucking ate a guy
imogen's mom is a mythical legend amongst the enemy
orym vs. laudna's response to imogen giving into predathos
how did chetney suddenly learn to make hypnotizing toys
delilah briarwood
"some of us are expendable, we should get captured"
anything and everything they said during the trust exercise, including but not limited to:
laudna not being able to distinguish her thoughts from delilah's
imogen's disgust at delilah's inevitable presence
chetney's fear that his new family will leave him
orym's feelings about dorian
fcg relieving stress through murder
fearne's insecurities about their chances of success
ashton's guilt about the shard
and more!
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watchoutforthefanfics · 6 months
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Ticking Love Bomb (Part One) || Eleventh Doctor × gn!Reader
Part 1...
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Summary: Your adventure with the Doctor and the Ponds takes a harsh turn when it seems you're targeted with a potion. A love potion, specifically the type where you fall in love with whoever's eyes you met first after "drinking" it. But what if you're already in love with him?
TWS: aliens, space, references of guns, smoke, unrequited love (but not really), self sacrificial attitudes, and purely oblivious people. Also, just a touch of angst (typical of a love confession).
A/N: This is a lil angsty so be ready!!! Enjoy :)
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The room was filling with a sort of pink gas, at least it looked pink. Maybe like a salmon color?
The walls were bland, white and tall, and the lights were fluorescent. If you didn't know any better, you would've assumed you were in a hospital of some kind.
"Uh, Doctor… What-" you spoke watching as the gas pooled in around your feet, "What is that?"
He paused, taking a few sniffs, and mumbling to himself before answering, "A potion. They must-"
He stopped, eyebrows drawn in confusion, "Well, they must not know who I am, this won't work on Gallifreyans. It's kind of like that one poison that just makes us sleep for a few centuries but could turn a human to dust-"
"Doctor," you interrupted, hand placed on his shoulder to shake him out of his mind, "-as much as I love a bit of rambling, now's really not the time."
"Right," he corrected, straightening up and glancing around the room (for an escape you assumed), "-I don't see-"
"Hello, my doves," a voice boomed through the room, bouncing off the terribly empty walls, "-having fun yet, are we?"
It was prim and proper, a thick accent in a tone you recognized as 'all-knowing'. She seemed to be readily in control of the situation, and the Doctor… didn't seem to have a clue.
"What is it? What is she filtering in here?"
"Well," he answered, peering at the gas which was now at mid-calf, "-I'm not entirely sure. My best guess is it's a mix of potions, hastily made based on the composition. There's no real proper composure to it, an amateur is the most suspect. Or maybe someone who just wants results?"
"Doctor," you groaned, your fingers starting to swirl the pink around you, "-what is it and how will it affect me?"
"Human, right," he blinked, looking at you solidly for a moment, before turning down to his sonic, watching it buzz, "-I'll see what components are in it and that should-"
He stopped mid-sentence, body frozen and eyebrows furrowed even more, and… was he- was he blushing?
"You must understand now?" The voice continued, tone light with amusement, "The potion was never for you, Doctor; it really was to tear you away from your sidekick. I know how terribly fond you are of them in particular, and thought… this may be the perfect leverage opportunity."
"Doctor, what are they talking about?"
He didn't answer you, just set his eyes on what appeared to be a camera in the corner, "What do you want from me?"
You blinked, ready to argue with the Doctor about just… giving in (the Universe was far more important than you), but something else caught your attention.
It was the smell, god, it smelt just like roses in here. So fresh and beautiful, you could almost smell the morning dew on the thorns. It was so… wonderful.
"Y/N?" he spoke, you knew that voice, you really did, but it just smelt so nice in here. You couldn't help but picture the velvety petals beneath your fingertips, the grass underneath your shoes, the rays of sun on your face.
In an instant, your eyes fluttered shut -finding comfort in the warmth. It was like a warm sunny day on the beach, so nice to just… absorb.
"Y/N, darling-" the voice continued, "-can you hear me?"
And just like that, your brain was doused in, what felt like, a cold bucket of water -the rosy pink glow in your head faded, leaving a bit of paranoia in its wake.
"Alright, Y/N," he explained, calmly, "-listen to me carefully, don't-"
Before he could even finish, your eyes flew open, eyes landing on his green ones -searching for some solace. It was almost an instinct, hearing his voice, you just had to search for him.
"Y/N, wait-" He sputtered, eyes connecting with yours, "-why do you never listen to me? You weren't supposed to-"
He paused, staring at you for a moment (almost analyzing you), you blinked.
"Y/N, are you… are you feeling anything?"
"I, uh," you paused rubbing at your eyes for a second and just having a little check in, "-I don't feel anything different, why? Am I supposed to?"
"Well," he looked at you in wonder, and did that thing where he scrambled for a moment, "-yes."
"What?" The voice boomed again, disbelief coating her tone, "You… Why didn't it work? Doctor, what have you done?"
"I didn't-"
You interrupted, confused, "Wait, what's supposed to be happening to me right now?"
The voice answered, a bit more polite than an assumed antagonist should, "You are supposed to fall in love with whomever you see, it's perfectly disposed in the human genes, I don't-"
You blinked, oh.
"Well, I don't-" you inhaled, trying to calm your internal storm at the fact that the Doctor was looking at you like he just knew, but he couldn't have (could he?), "I feel normal, so…"
"Well, then," she spoke, tone a bit surprised but seemingly knowing, "-let's just hope we don't have any after effects, shall we?"
"What do you-"
The Doctor interrupted, voice stern, "Your potion just didn't work, there are no after effects."
"We shall see, Doctor, we shall see."
And with that… ominous answer, there was a click on the large gray door that had sealed them off before, an unlocking -assumedly.
In an instant, the Doctor grabbed your hand, and pulled you out of the room -where the fumes still lingered. You could smell the hint of roses in the air, and your head started to hurt a little bit from the memory of how strong it once was.
"Hey uh, Doctor?" You asked, slowly following a step behind him through the cavernous hallways, "What did they-"
"Shush," he spun around to you, and without hesitation, put his fingers to your neck (checking a pulse?), "-okay, good. A little fast but, alright so far.
Your face was burning hot and you could barely breathe. Your skin tingling where his fingers once were.
"Doctor, can you please explain what's going on? You act like I'm a ticking time bomb-"
He flinched.
"Wait, am I-" you exhaled shakily, pulling your hand out of his, "-am I on a timer? I can't hurt you, I really can't-"
"Y/N," he spoke, voice soft -a kind of gentle whisper-, "-calm down, okay?"
"I'm not-" you huffed, voice shaking ever-so-slightly, "I can't until you tell me what's going on!"
He exhaled, a deep sigh through his body, and you knew that look in his eyes well, an old man who'd seen worlds crash and burn.
"A lot of people have this idea that putting 2 similar things alike can make a better thing," he began, "-objectively, anyway. Scientifically through, that doesn't work, things clash and spark and burst. Like putting two ends of a magnet close to each other, they repel."
“And, that means?” you asked, tone questioning.
"The person who did this to you, tried to make a, objectively, better potion that was compiled of the same things that 2 other potions had," he continued, hand still locked with yours as you roamed down the hall, "This, being done haphazardly didn't really work."
“So, what, Doctor? What’s-”
“Your-” he started, eyes falling in a huff, “-Your heart is a ticking time bomb.”
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essektheylyss · 1 year
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Okay but can Caleb PLEASE call Essek to take a look at Ashton's head so a) SOMEONE can see it and not immediately look at Ashton like they're some bizarre source of radiation poisoning and b) Essek can be like, "You'd kick my brother's ass so badly. Do you want to try? You know, for science."
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totentans · 9 days
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It's so funny to me that someone looked at Jean and Harry, god's most mentally ill soldiers, and was like. Yeah. This two should be partners, surely nothing will ever go wrong. Putting dynamite next to lit match would be safer
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littlebabywille · 1 year
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i’m the captain now
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rogueolight · 7 months
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wakaba and juri friendship because i tignk it would be funny
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catsharkzzz · 17 days
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ah hell nah who gave the furniture a conscience
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stealingpotatoes · 7 months
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Ahsoka acting like she and Barriss weren’t certified Girlfriends in their padawan years. The Jedi Guilt(tm) is real.
LOL well. lbr they were certified girlfriends in ahsoka's mind only, irl they were totally both yearning idiots bound by the code and 20 layers of repression. but ahsoka can dream
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starlightseraph · 3 months
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truly the episode of all time
(series 3, episode 20, “Jose Chung’s From Outer Space”)
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willosword · 27 days
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well THAT just gave me a pit in my stomach
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