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dudduk4992 · 1 year

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A beached surfer, part 1

Caleb sighed, looking out onto the beach. It was a perfect day, with not a cloud in the sky, the brilliant yellow sand was teeming with people, talking, sunbaking, playing volleyball, building sandcastles, and splashing in the water. Everywhere he looked, he saw people enjoying the sun.

The hotel next door teamed with tourists, just like it seemed to do every summer when Caleb’s dad sent him here to work at his uncle’s restaurant, “The Seaside Crab” where Caleb worked during his summers instead of enjoying it like everyone else. It always seemed worse to think about, but when he got there it wasn’t so bad, especially since his uncle actually paid him properly now, and with all the tourism they were reeling in, Caleb could only imagine what his bank account would be looking like. Caleb sighed again,

"Caleb! Stop mucking about and clear some tables!" Caleb heard his big sailor-looking uncle yell from within the confines of the kitchen at the front of the restaurant. Caleb gulped and quickly zoomed around the restaurant, clearing tables one at a time.

As Caleb cleaned up another table, stacking the dishes and wiping at the stains on the table, he resumed his daydreaming position at the large wooden bar, adjacent to a long, tall wall lined with glass windows. As he stared even longer, his eyes stayed in the same position, looking out the window despite hearing the front of the cafe's door jingle.

A shadow shunted his daydreaming; he noticed a tall, blonde, wide figure standing at the bar in his peripheral vision. It took Caleb a moment or two to realise that the stranger was waiting for him. "Could I get an iced tea, two lemons please?" Caleb heard the hunky surfer say in his deep voice. It was none other than the legendary Kanen Ariki. A local legend around Marina Beach. He was the only surfer to catch some huge waves, not to mention his insane popularity. When he wasn’t surfing or partying, he worked as a lifeguard at the beach.

Kanen was Polynesian and only 21, two years older than Caleb- and was fully ripped. Big, buff and covered head to toe in muscle, he had a massive chest with huge, meaty pecs and pink cherry-sized nipples, his thighs and calves enormous, and his abs well defined. His face was wide and handsome with a strong jawline, his eyes bright brown with a cut through his left eyebrow. He had various rings in both ears, as well as a double piercing through his right eyebrow and belly button.

His hair was cut in short curtains and dyed blonde while the roots remained black. The hunk also had some impressive Polynesian tattoos; several bands around his right arm, wrist and leg, as well as some triangles, reaching up to the bottom of his belly button. He wore a blue faded singlet, black board shorts and no shoes.

"I- uh, ohhhh..." Caleb Stuttered, gazing in awe at the surfer, he completely forgot what he was doing as he watched Kanen take a table number and sit down.... right next to where Caleb was cleaning. Was this really happening!? Caleb couldn't believe it!

"Hey man, not to rush you, but my stomach’s telling me it’s time to eat," Kanen said with a laugh, noticing that Caleb was stuck daydreaming for almost ten minutes.

"Oh! sorry!" Caleb yelped. "What can I get you today? we have some specials on, if you’re interested, I can show you what they are..." Caleb trailed off, gazing at the blond hunk's breathtaking abs.

"Uh yeah, I'll just get a club sandwich, extra meat, extra cheese, and double side pickle, please. And two iced teas while you're at it" Kanen says with a wink, his voice filled with that deep swagger many surfers carried.

“Right... right, is there anything else?” Caleb murmured.

“Nope! You’re good to go…” Kanen squinted at Caleb’s name tag. “Caleb.” Kanen looked up with a grin. “Nice to meet you, Caleb.” It took Caleb everything he had not to melt at the surfer hunk’s words.

“That… that should be ready soon sir.” Caleb piped, turning and hurrying over to the counter. As he did, he quickly scribbled the order on a piece of paper. However, what Caleb didn’t realize was that he had scribbled Kanen's order underneath a previous order that had come and gone, a family meal in fact. Caleb blindly handed his uncle the order without noticing and went back to clearing tables and taking more orders, sneaking glancing at Kanen when he could. Ten minutes passed as Caleb continued to work, occasionally glancing up at Kanen while he did.

Caleb eventually began to zone back into his work, prioritizing his tasks, rather than gazing at Kanen. Caleb was in the middle of clearing a recently emptied table when he heard someone approach him from behind. He turned around and found himself staring at Kanen, who stood there with a smile on his face.

"Hey there again." Kanen greeted him. "Sorry to bother you, Caleb- but I was just wondering if you knew when my food would be ready? It’s been nearly fifteen minutes." Kanen said with an innocent smile.

Caleb felt his eyes widen. He hadn't realized how much time had passed since he took Kanen's order. "Oh- uh, lemme go check for you." Caleb said quickly as he rushed off to the counter, where his uncle was busy cooking.

"Hey, Uncle Finn!" Caleb gasped. "A customer asked when his food would be out, he's been waiting for fifteen minutes."

"Well, I sure as hell won't be able to figure out his meal if you don't tell me what it is!" Uncle Finn grunted back as he chopped the head off a fish.

"Uhh... '1 club sandwich, double pickle and extra everything' plus two ice teas... For Kanen Ariki." Caleb said aloud, feeling a little embarrassed by the situation.

Uncle Finn glanced across the orders above his head and frowned. "Son, I dunno what you did wrong but I don't have that order here." He muttered. "I DO have an order for one Kanen Ariki, and it does have that sandwich and those ice teas, but there's more than what you said."

Before Caleb could say a word, his uncle placed a full tray on the bench, and it was indeed not what Kanen had ordered; 2 extra large burgers and sides of chips, a large panini, a regular garden salad, A T-bone steak, 2 plates of fish and chips, A regular lasagna, a basket of garlic bread- and of course, the two ice teas and the club sandwich to top it all off.

"Oh Caleb..." Uncle Finn leaned on the counter and covered his eyes. "How did you mess this up." he looked up with a tired smile. "You truly are one of a kind, lad."

Caleb felt himself grow pale as he realized he had messed up.

"I- I'm so sorry..." Caleb murmured, and the boy felt his face go from pale to beet red.

Uncle Finn chuckled and placed a hand over his shoulder. "Don't worry about it kid. I know you'll do better next time, you always do. Just apologize and tell the guy there was a mixup and give him the things he ordered- bring the rest back to me so I can bin it."

Caleb nodded silently and took the tray of food, turning on one heel and quickly made his way across the restaurant. As he approached Kanen's table, he found Kanen smiling at him, but his smile quickly turned to confusion as Caleb set the tray down on the table.

"Hey bro... I didn't order all of this?" he said, confused.

"No you didn't." Caleb confirmed, avoiding eye contact. "I- uh… there was a mixup in the kitchen... and your order got put down with a previous order- but here."

Caleb picked up the plate with the gigantic club sandwich on top. Uncle Finn had used an entire loaf of bread, sliced through the half, and put all of the fixings inside to create the biggest sandwich both Caleb and Kanen had ever seen in their lives.

"W-woah dude... I said club sandwich, not a surfboard panini!" Kanen practically yelped, grinning from ear to ear. "Guess I'm getting my money's worth!" The tanned surfer laughed, a hand resting on his exposed belly. "Seriously dude... thanks for this... you're awesome!" He said. "But I wanted to ask, what's gonna happen to all of this?"

"Uh, I'll probably have to dump it." Caleb replied. "I can't give it to other customers who ordered the same thing. Health code, you know?"

Kanen looked down at the food with a frown. "You can't throw this all away. There's enough food here for a whole family..." he said, gesturing with his hands at the large amount of food in front of him.

"I know." Caleb felt awful, but he really didn't know what else could be done.

"Here, just leave it with me and I'll eat as much of it as I can." Kanen replied with a shrug.

Caleb blinked. "What?"

"It's either that or the garbage disposal, and I hate it when good food is wasted." Kanen grinned. "So yeah, leave it with me."

"Uh... okay, are you sure?" Caleb murmured, placing it all on the table, including the drinks, before picking the empty tray up.

"Yeah man, no worries, I'll see how much I can polish off. Thanks again!" Kanen smiled.

Caleb nodded and left it at that and hurried back to his uncle to give him the tray. When he got to the counter, Uncle Finn was watching Kanen closely. "So he decided to keep all that food huh? Better than chucking it in the bin I say." Uncle Finn said with a chuckle. "He's got one big ass feed ahead of him!"

"Uhh yeah..." Caleb murmured, still blushing as he glanced back to the surfer boy and his massive meal.

***

Kanen wasn't sure if he would even be able to eat this much food. Here, he had arrived for a simple sandwich, and now he had a family-sized feast on top of that. Kanen worked on his original order first, drilling through the club sandwich at a steady pace. The mix of meat, cheese, pickle and lettuce made an explosion of flavour in his mouth as the young stud savoured every bite of the huge sandwich. He ate slowly, enjoying each and every morsel. As he neared the end of his sandwich, Kanen noted that he felt full, his stomach holding its regular curve after a simple meal like this- but his meal was far from over.

"Wow, that was amazing..." Kanen murmured to himself as he took a long sip from his first iced tea, before sighing and wiping his mouth with a napkin. He already felt kinda stuffed though, he thought looking down at his bulging gut.

But there was no time to waste, the food was there, and it needed to be eaten. After he finished the sandwich, Kanen dug into his burger with gusto. The paddy was juicy and fresh, stuck to a slice of melted cheese and accompanied by fresh crisp lettuce, tangy sauce, onions, bacon and tomato. It tasted incredible as he ate it, savouring every bite. With one burger done, the second followed in no time at all. With both now in his steadily growing belly, the young stud took a moment to finish the rest of his first iced tea, sucking down the sweet peach juice like water after a run.

"*BUARRP!*" Kanen belched and blushed as two customers close by glanced at him, Kanen ran a hand over his developing stomach under his singlet, before working on his two sides of chips, each slice of fried potato cooked to perfection as he drowned them in tomato sauce and tore into them ravenously.

The young surfer felt like he could take on the world, his gut was slowly expanding and so full of good food that it felt like he had swallowed a small soccer ball. He had never eaten this much in one sitting before, but he had to admit that he felt great. His muscles were well-fed, and his mind was clear, he felt good, and he was ready to tackle anything that came his way.

With that thought in mind, Kanen worked on his last side of chips and began eating slowly as he watched the people around him. After a few minutes, Kanen moved on his panini. The crust was crisp and the fillings were warm and delicious. The beef was tender and the cheese gooey, the flavors mixing together perfectly. Even though he already felt overly stuffed, Kanen devoured the panini in only a few bites, pausing to take sips from his second iced tea until both the tea and panini were gone.

Kanen burped again, this time not feeling as embarrassed, largely because of how stuffed the surfer stud felt. His slightly bloated muscle gut had expanded substantially, stretching his singlet even further than before as his underbelly dug into the hem of his boardshorts. Kanen knew he wasn't going to be able to fit into his pants for a while.

Now Kanen sat there, stuffed to bursting, yet content. He stared at the remains of his meal; the salad, Steak, double order of fish and chips, basket of garlic bread, and large lasagna, and wondered if he should just leave it there. But he couldn't bring himself to do it. If he did, then he would feel guilty for wasting such a large amount of food, and besides- something about this whole situation he had ended up in felt... good?

In a way eating all this food made Kanen feel amazing. The very idea of pushing the limits of his stomach, even though he was stuffed to the brim made Kanen's body tingle, and the thought of how big his gut would become made him more excited. Kanen took a deep breath and made his decision, he was going to finish every last piece of this food, and then he was going to enjoy a good long rest.

Eager now, Kanen filled a glass of water and downed it in one gulp before he started with the garden salad and garlic bread; The salad was light and refreshing, while the Garlic bread was hot and gooey and crispy. By the time he was done, the surfer was sweating and moaning, his belly was distended so much that it now jutted off of his body a good few inches. He could feel it stretching his singlet further, his gut pushing against the fabric as it grew. it had even begun to slide up due to the great volume of his gut, revealing a slither of his hairless belly.

Steadily running out of steam, Kanen turned his attention to the large steak. Kanen cut the steak into bite sized pieces and began going to work; the meat was tender and juicy, he found after the first mouthful, the juices running down his chin and dropping onto the singlet straining itself around his enormous gut. The steak was served with a side of fries and salad, both of which the hunk was able to finish off with relative ease. Kanen pulled at his boardshorts, which were unbelievably tight now. Kanen burped again, feeling up his tank of a belly, enjoying the fullness and tightness it caused.

He had no doubt that many of the customers in the restaurant were staring at him, especially the ones who had been here since the start and had seen how much food he had consumed. After finishing off the Steak, Kanen felt his gut throbbing now, his abs and stomach muscles burning tight as his belly begged him to stop eating, and that only made him want to eat more.

Kanen realized that if he was gonna get through the remains of the food, he was gonna need more drinks. By some streak of luck, the waiter boy Caleb passed by to clear a table, although Kanen could see that Caleb was also using this opportunity to stare at the surfer's impressive belly.

"Hey... *URP* Caleb?" Kanen spoke up with a long breath.

Caleb turned right around to face him, his cheeks flushed red. Caleb couldn’t belive how huge he had grown!

"Y-Yeah?" Caleb asked nervously, his eyes darting between Kanen's bulging gut and the huge amount of food that was still piled on the table.

"Do you *HIC* think you could grab me two more of those *BUUARP* iced teas?" Kanen asked, resting his hands on his belly.

"Uh... yeah of course," Caleb replied, his voice shaking as he quickly walked over to the kitchen, returning five minutes later with two bottles of iced tea.

"Thanks," Kanen replied with a shy smile.

"No problem... just let me know if you need anything else," Caleb said, his face growing redder by the second. "I- need to go clear more tables." Caleb rushed off and Kanen couldn't help but laugh to himself. The poor guy looked so flustered, but he didn't blame him. Kanen could only imagine what a sight his gut must be for everyone else.

The fish and chips were by far the hardest to eat, although the battered Cod and chips were crunchy and tasty, they were both dry, and Kanen found himself gulping down a whole iced tea between the two servings. As he polished off the seafood, Kanen felt his belly grow tighter and tighter, it was beginning to push against his waistband as his gut now took up a good portion of his lap. It seemed like he might have to pull down his board shorts if it continued to get any larger.

Kanen had to stop himself from laughing as he marveled at how big his stomach had gotten, he had never been this big before. "Holy shit..." Kanen muttered, looking down at his stomach, which groaned and growled as it struggled to digest the mass amount of food inside. After another glass of water to wash down his throat, the young surfer made his way to his final course, the lasagna.

As he cut into the lasagna, he was surprised to find that it was still warm; the cheese, mince, sauce and pasta sheets melting as he placed the first forkful into his mouth. Kanen had to stifle back a moan as he ate, the taste was incredible. Even though he felt on the brink of bursting point, Kanen devoured the dish with relish, watching his obscenely huge muscle gut creep forward a bit with each delicious, gooey mouthful.

Part of Kanen knew he had eaten past his limit, and yet somehow he was still pushing on, the engorged stud stuffing himself with every ounce of willpower he had. It felt like an eternity before the plate was empty, his gut bloated and stretched beyond its limits, the weight of his belly pressing on his thighs as he sat there. When he was done, Kanen felt like a new man. His belly was stretched to its maximum capacity, obscenely huge and distended, making him look 9 months pregnant. But Kanen was happy with the blissful fullness that came with eating so much food. The weight of everything he had eaten, the pressure in his gut, the strain of his abs and the heat of digestion made him feel so tired.

"Ahhhhhhh!" Kanen moaned loudly as he threw back his head and let loose another deep, manly belch, the sound echoing throughout the restaurant. He closed his eyes, trying to hold in the next one but failing miserably. "Bwuaaarrrp!" Another loud belch escaped the surfer's lips as he looked at the large stack of empty plates in front of him. Something about it made Kanen feel proud, like he was some sort of gluttonous beast who was being rewarded for his excesses.

And so, Kanen struggled to stand up from his seat, his belly was so heavy and his abs stretched to the absolute limit, his legs felt like jelly as it took the stud a moment to adjust to his newfound weight. His singlet had ridden up so much that it only encompassed half of his overgorged belly. Kanen felt all eyes on him as he swaggered over to the counter slowly, holding his gut in both hands like a newborn as he tried not to burp loudly again.

Up at the counter, Kanen found Caleb waiting; a look of complete awe on his face as he gazed upon the young surfer's huge stomach.

"I believe I... *HIC* have a *BUUARRPP* meal to pay for..." Kanen chuckled, patting his belly proudly.

"Oh my God," Caleb gasped. "I can't believe you ate all that." Caleb began to grin from ear to ear. "That was incredible man... I've never seen someone pack away that much food!"

"Thank you *BWARP* Caleb..." Kanen laughed slowly. "I think I've *HIC* had my fill..." Kanen chuckled, his stomach wobbling slightly as he let out another burp, handing the young waiter his credit card, but Caleb shook his head.

"It’s on the house man." Caleb smiled. "You earned it."

***

Kanen lay sprawled out on the hood of his car as he watched the late afternoon sun dwindle on the horizon, the sky turning orange as the evening approached. The young stud had one arm behind his head, and the other wrapped around his gargantuan gut, releasing satisfied burps as he sighed contently. He felt so full... so fucking full... but so good too. The tightness, the weight, the size of his belly all felt incredible.

Kanen let out a long sigh as he brought his hand from his swollen belly down to hard manhood, stroking himself idly as he basked in the glow of his accomplishment. This had been quite possibly the most fun he'd ever had in his life. Eating so much food had left him completely exhausted and drained, his muscles ached and his mind was fuzzy from all the food he had forced into his system, but despite all that, Kanen wanted to see what other places did with order mix-ups.

This summer was going to be fun with people like Caleb around.

#bigbelly burping eating gay men overeating stuffing bellystuffing malestuffing stuffingfetish bigbellyfetish

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gay4harm · 8 months

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Pick a side

Paring: Shuri x Riri x Reader

Warning: None really except implied smut, makeout session, reader in a theater nerd, I think das it

A/N: Soo I know I'm supposed to be working on Who is she? but this was just stuck in my head and I had to get the idea out. This will have multiple parts to it. Lmk if you guys want more of it. (This is kinda proofread)

Shuri and Riri were known for being very competitive. They'd see who could finish certain projects first or silly things like seeing who could finish eating first, but most of all they loved seeing who could get the girl first.

Who could fuck her before the other but in the end it always ended with both of them fucking some random and them leaving right after.

This whole thing was Shuri's idea, after losing her family she had developed a few bad habits, she'd drink, party and sleep with women, the ones who would be willing to hookup with no strings attached.

Riri saw this and although she was a bit worried she knew Shuri was a big girl and even when Riri said anything shuri would just shut it down, so the only thing Riri could do was try and be there just in case something happened.

So this is how they got in this predicament, one of their friends telling them everythig he knew about you which was. "Yeah nah thats Y/N, she bad as hell ain't she?"

Riri and shuri nodded as they observed you with your tight black dress on, hair pulled back in a ponytail showing off your black smokey eye makeup and glossed, plump, dark red colored lips, shuri wandered what they would feel like wrapped around her strap and Riri noticed how familiar you looked, like she had met you from before.

Their friend spoke up again. "I tried to get with her last semester but she was playing all hard to get and shii"

"did you ever get with her?" Riri asked. "Nah she real stuck up, acting like she better than everyone."

That's just what Shuri wanted; someone she could breakdown, a real challenge.

"How much you want to bet I could hit that?" Riri looked at Shuri offended as she let a soft scoff fall from her lips. "Nigga you couldn't bag a bitch as bad as her"

"Oh you think I can't?"

"Nigga I know you can't"

"Oh well that sounds like a challenge, two weeks, who ever sleeps with her first wins. Deal?" Shuri stuck her hand out ready to make the deal as Riri hesitantly took Shuri's hand firmly and shook it. "Deal"

Just as Riri let go of shuri's hand she got up and walked over to you who was leaning on a kitchen counter with a cup in hand.

"Hey how you doing pretty?"

"Oh hi" Riri was surprised at your voice; small, southern with a bit of sultriness to it, she would have never expected you to sound as you did. Your resting bitch face gave off the impression that your voice would sound smokey, low and honestly she thought you would be a bit bitchy, as in you would try and dismiss her for coming up to you. She didn't expect you to sound sweet like honey or for when she came over your eyes lit up as if you had been waiting for this moment.

"Oh wow, I'm sorry I just- I didn't expect you to sound like that" You giggle slightly at her words before responding. "Its fine, you would be surprised at how much people say that"

"Uh, I'm Riri, it's nice to meet you" Riri stuck her hand out and you took it, a bit taken aback at how her hands had a slight roughness to them while yours were soft and well moisturized. "I know who you are Riri." Riri furrowed her eyebrows confused at how you knew her, maybe it was just from around school. You noticed her confusion and gave her the same look with your head tilted, did she really not remember you? "We live across from each other.... we're in the same study group" You could tell when the realization hit Riri, what looked like disappointment flashed across her face. "Shit I'm sorry, I knew you looked familiar, I just forgot where"

"Its fine, I've been told I have a very forgettable face." Riri didn't laugh at first and instead looked apologetic but you were just joking of course. You knew Riri had a busy life, not only did she barely come to the study group you guys were in, you two hadn't crossed paths that many time and if you did it was a quick glance and small smile that usually occurred, never going as far as talking.

"Its ok you can laugh, its supposed to be funny" Riri's face was wiped of any uncertainty and instead you two shared the same sheepish chuckle not being able to look each other in the eye.

Its not that it was awkward or anything

you didn't know what it was, well you knew what it was for you. You were a bit nervous, you've had the biggest crush on Riri and honestly you were horrible at flirting, especially when you were put on the spot like this. If it was someone else than you would have been a bit more confident but this was Riri. Someone you were completely head over for. The whole party scene wasn't something you were used to nor was the dress and makeup, it was all a product of your friend Kourtney who had basically dragged you here, at first you were a bit upset but now you were glad you came.

"So uh... you wanna dance?" You looked up from your cup a bit surprised at Riri's question but before you could answer she grabbed your hand and led you to the center of the room where other sweaty bodies were grinding on each other to fast pace songs, that was until a slower song began to play. (play the song bookie)

As the song started you look around to see people grinding on each other in sinful ways, slow dancing or for the people who didn't have anyone to dance with they sat and watch waiting for the next fast paced song to play. Riri began to slowly sway to the music as you stood awkwardly, her hand snaked around your waist pulling you close, you tensed up in response not used to something like this

Riri noticed how uncomfortable you seemed and leaned into your ear, her warm breath making you shiver. "I don't bite, you know" You lean in to hear her better. "I said I don't bite, not unless you want me to" You smile softly at her as she turns you so now your back is pressed against her front with your ass on her crotch.

Never been scared to get wet

No umbrella, you can rain all night

Ooh, woah, woah

And go 'head and drench me with your body

By the time you're finished, baby, I'll be Covered in you, ooh, yeah, yeah

Covered in you

Ooh, you know when we're through

'Cause I'll be covered in you

You begin to move slightly on Riri, unsure of what you were doing

This wasn't exactly your scene.

You were use to singing and dancing during rehearsals, in between work and classes not partying, it wasn't how you were. Being good looking attracted people but you never really gave them the time of day especially when you could tell they only wanted one thing. So you didn't know why you were here, grinding on Riri Williams to a Chris Brown song but you were and it was the best thing ever.

You began to move more fluently with Riri's hands on your hips guiding you.

You know I won't stop 'til I feel it overflowin'

Tell me, tell me, baby, would you mind

If I just jump right in and take the dive? ('Cause I)

Never been scared to get wet

No umbrella, you can rain all night

Ooh, woah, woah (Woah)

And go 'head and drench me with your body

By the time you're finished, baby, I'll be Covered in you, ooh, yeah, yeah

Covered in you

Ooh, you know when we're through

'Cause I'll be covered in you

I ain't runnin'

Keep it comin'

'Til I'm covered, baby

Covered in you

You know when we're through Until I'm covered in you

You had fully went loose, slowly grinding and swaying to the music with Riri behind you, kissing on your neck setting off a fire in you, her lips on you felt so good, so right, like they were made for you.

"You wanna go upstairs ma?" You thought about her question at first, not sure if you should go but then you thought about the way she felt and her lips and their softness, you thought about how much you liked having her hands on you and how you needed them everywhere.

So your reply was obvious as you turned to face her. "I would love to"

She takes your hand, moving through the sea of bodies, as you guys go up the stairs and in one of the unoccupied rooms she sits you down on the edge of the bed with her on the other side of you. No words are passed between the two of you until Riri speaks up. "You ok? You seem a little nervous." You look up at her knowing that she was right, you were nervous. Once again this wasn't something you were used to, you had only ever been with one other person and they were the reason why you were the way you were, shy and reserved, and to some people boring and stuck up.

"Yeah I'm cool just a little nervous"

"There ain't nothing to be nervous about, I'm not gonna hurt you, just wanna make you feel good." Riri grabs your chin making you look at her. She pulls you closer until your lips are just barely touching, not wanting to wait anymore you capture your lips on hers.

They were just as you expected, soft, supple and honestly to you it appeared that she might have more than enough experience with this.

At first it started off with sweet small pecks that turned into something heated, Riri let go enough to bit your bottom lip making your mouth go ajar, she took the opportunity to slid her tongue in your mouth.

She gets a hold of your jaw making you tilt your head up to deepen the kiss, the taste of her cherry lip balm swarmed in your mouth making its way into your mind savoring the flavor, her flavor, her scent, the way her hand traveled up and down your body until it stopped to take hold of your breast with one gentle squeeze.

She was so addicting, everything else was wiped from your mind except the feeling of Riri, you wondered if you went through her mind just as she did with yours.

So when Riri pulled away you were confused, that was until you realized someone had been knocking on the door. She yelled out hoping the mystery person would leave.

"Yo its occupied." She turned back to you to resume your little makeout session but before she could a few more knocks and a voice cut it off. "It me Riri, we gotta go, some business to take care of." Riri got up clearly annoyed, she swung the door open coming face to face with Shuri who had a sly smirk on her face.

"Can't you go handle it yourself, I'm kinda in the middle of something." They both look back at you as you spoke up. "No I mean it's fine, you should go take care of your business, I should get going anyway my friends probably wondering where I went."

You got up heading toward the door but just as your about to walk out Riri grabs your arm. "Before you go let me get cha number, you know so we can finish what we started." She pulls her phone out so you can put your number in and you take it ready to do so. After you left, pushing pass Shuri and into the crowd.

"What the fuck, why would you do that?"

Shuri looks at Riri amused

"Do what?"

You see Kourtney walking up to her, she looks relieved as she grabs you by your shoulders. "God where have you been? I've been looking all over for you." You didn't reply. What would you have said, 'I was upstairs with Riri Williams about to sleep with her until Shuri Udaka, the queen on wakanda decided to interrupt'

There was to much to explain and you were not in the right mind set to explain it. "Can we just go? I don't want to be here anymore" Kourtney looked confused as you pulled her towards the door. "But what-"

"I'll explain later" You both get in the car, driving off to your apartment.

You had lived in a apartment with two of your best friends, Gina and Kourtney. They were your best friends since high school along with Ashlyn of course. You all had decided to go to MIT together which was the best decision ever made. You were here with your three best friends and it made you feel at home, they were like your sisters.

As you got back to your shared apartment, there sat Gina and Ashlyn waiting on the both of you. "Hey, how was the party?" Gina asked from the couch. "Hey, yeah it was cool" You replied as you walked into your bedroom. "Um are we gonna forget about earlier? You forgot to tell me what happened" Kourtney shouted out.

"I didn't forget I'm just- you know... coming down from it"

"Wait coming back from what? What happened?" Ashlyn asked confused just as everyone else. You walk out, now in sweatpants and a tank top. As you do you blurt out. "I almost had sex with Riri Williams"

Everyone turns to stared at you, stunned by your words.

"You did what?"

"It just kind of happened, we didn't get that far"

"Well what stopped you?" Kourtney scooted closer to you, waiting for an answer. "Someone was knocking on the door and it turned out to be Shuri Udaka as in Wakandan royalty."

"Wait you said Shuri Udaka as in like the queen on Wakanda?" You shake your head at Gina's question. "Girl did you not know their dating?" Your eyes widen and your mouth parts to show your shock

"Are you serious!?" Many things were swarming through your head.

Why would Riri try and cheat on Shuri with you at the same party Shuri was at?

Why was Shuri so calm when Riri opens the door and why didn't she say anything?

Was she planning on getting back at both you and Riri later?

Or did she just not care?

Was this a part of some type of game or prank?

Did Riri actually like you?

"Look I doubt anything's going to happen, right?" You look up at Ashlyn as you could tell her voice was laced with false hope. You gave her a weak smile, got up, said your goodbyes and walked back to your room hoping to forget everything that happened.

You woke up, had forgotten about the events that occured last night. Instead you got out of bed, ate breakfast and just as you were about to get ready for the day someone knocked on the door.

Gina was the first to answer it while you began to pick out your outfit for the day.

You began to notice that you hadn't heard the door close but you had heard it open, so you walk out to see it anything had happened.

You had imagined that maybe it was the RA or an old friend so you walk out not expecting much.

But as to what was happening at the front door, it was actually something a lot different.

"Is Y/N here?"

"Um no... no she is not"

"Well do you know when she'll be home or at least where she'll be?"

Just as Gina was about to answer, you walked in

"Gigi who's at the door?" You stop in your tracks to see Shuri, sporting a black tracksuit with her signature black shades. You'd be lying if you said she didn't look good.

Both Gina and Shuri look at you and as they do the events of last night are flooded back in your mind.

"Y/N, do you mind if I talk to you?"

"Uhh yeah of course come in."

Shuri steps pass Gina as she closes the door. Gina walks back to her room hoping to forget all this happened.

As soon as she leaves you speak up. "Ok look if your here to like kill me or something then you should know I didn't even know you and Riri were in a relationship. If I did then I would have never-"

"You think I came here to hurt you for kissing my girlfriend?" Pure confusion was laced over Shuri's face. "Well I mean I would, or at least I'd be pretty upset, but you don't seem upset at all actually."

"Well that is because I'm not." Now instead of Shuri being confused you were.

"Ok so your not mad?"

"Not at all, in fact I'd love it if you were to join me at a party next week"

"Um I'm actually not very fond of parties"

"Well maybe we could grab a drink... at my place"

"You want to hang out at your place?" Shuri gives you a simple shake of her head. You think about it at first and there's only one clear answer.

"That sounds lovely Shuri but I'm gonna have to decline."

Shuri was filled with shock at your decline, this hadn't ever really happened before. Of course there were people who would say no for the fun of it but with you it seemed like you were completely uninterested.

"Ok well are you sure?"

"Positive, now if there isn't anything else you'd like to talk to me about then I suggest you leave."

You walk her out, closing the door as you head to get ready for your day.

While you put the final touches on your outfit and finish up your look, your phone goes off.

You look to see a unknown number but as you read the message you find out to see its Riri texting you a simple good morning text followed by 'how'd you sleep?'

You smile with the thought that Riri might have actually been thinking about you.

You text back with a good morning to start off, ending with 'I slept well, hbu?'

after that the two of you talked the whole day even when you two saw each other in a few classes. The day ended too soon and the only thing you could think about as you walked back to your dorm was how you couldn't wait to see her again.

The same thing went through Riri's head, she actually enjoyed talking to you. You weren't like the other brainless girls she normally spoke to.

She knew this would have to end soon but did it really?

A/N: She's finally done girly pop

It's actually crazy because I have so many other fics I need to finish and start but I had to feed the Shuriri x reader girlie cause I myself am one.

Anywayssss I hope you guys enjoyed this and please remember that I love when you guys tell me how you feel about it so please do.

#riri wiliams x reader #riri williams #riri x reader #riri x black fem reader #marvel #riri x you #dominique thorne #shuri udaku #shuri x black!reader #shuri x reader #shuriri x reader #shuriri #shuri x riri

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crappymixtape · 1 year

Text

you're never far behind • part one

when your dad calls and needs your help at home in hawkins you can't say no, but when you arrive back in town you uncover a friendship you thought you'd lost a long time ago | ( 6.2k, angst, tiny fluffies, best friends to strangers to friends to lovers, steve x reader, steve x you )

Y O U ‘ R E N E V E R F A R B E H I N D 🎶 long time, wild rivers

“Was so good of you to come, hon. It’s a lot for your dad to do on his own, especially on delivery days. Can’t lie, sure is nice to see your face around again too! Need a warm up?”

“Please? Thanks, Georgie.”

“Sure thing, sweets.”

Steam lifted from the mug on the counter in front of you as Georgie filled it with more hot coffee. The diner still looked the same as it had when you’d left four years ago. Black and white checkered tiles, worn red plastic seat tops sparkling dully in the florescent lighting from above, the smell of french fries and Georgie’s perfume mingling in the air.

You’d arrived home, home in Hawkins, the night before and had only been to the diner and the post office, but people were already talking about it. Word got around fast. Your dad had been stubborn about it at first, but after he knocked over a couple of shelves in the shop he knew he was in over his head.

He owned the only bookstore in town, Turn A Page, for the last twenty years and took pride in the fact that he didn’t need any help doing it. But then he broke his leg falling off a ladder in the front yard trying to clean out the gutters and it took him a full week to call you.

“Hello?”

“Hey, scout. It’s me, doin’ okay?”

“Dad, yeah I’m good. Just finishing up a few things for a deadline. Everything okay down there?”

Silence.

Your dad was never quiet, so you knew it wasn’t good.

“Dad,” your tone was flat, firm, uninterested in bullshit and he hummed for a second longer, buying himself a bit more time, but gave in when he heard you suck in an anticipatory breath.

“It’s fine! It was just a little tumble. Cleaning out the damn gutters is a mess, but the x-rays came back showing a clean break, which is great news by the way! And I’ll only need crutches for a couple of months–”

“A clean break? X-Rays? Dad! C’mon, what the hell?”

“I didn’t want to worry you, I’m really fine down here. It’s just that, you know crutches, they’re kind of clumsy and hard to get the hang of and–and I bumped into one of the shelves at the shop and well…”

“And well?” you pushed, heart dropping from your throat after realizing it wasn’t as bad as you’d thought.

“Well, I hate to ask you. To be a burden, your old dad…”

“Dad,” you softened a bit, holding the receiver to your ear as you twisted the cord around your finger, waiting for him to just spit it out.

“Think you could come down for a month? Just to help me around the shop, get things set up for my stupid crutches? Maybe help me interview someone to putter around and do the stuff I can’t do just yet?”

“Yes. Of course I can. Dad, I really wish you’d ask someone else to come do the gutters. It’s not like you’re gonna all of a sudden need hearing aids or a walker just because you’re asking for some help.”

“Hey now, I manage just fine on my own. I raised you by myself, gutters ought to be a damn cake walk.”

You huffed a small laugh and shook your head, leaning against the wall in your kitchen, “Yeah, yeah. I know. You’re lucky I never take vacations.”

“And what a trip, huh? Come stay down here in Hawkins for a month and maybe you’ll wanna stay this time,” you could hear his smile on the other end as you let out a small groan.

“I doubt it, but I’ll hear your pitch when I get down there.”

“Perfect. It’ll be good enough you won’t even have any questions at the end.”

“Mmhm.”

Silence again, but this time it was warm. Like you were sitting next to your dad on the old brown couch in the living room back home watching Family Ties and eating microwave whatevers while you laughed so hard you cried. Maybe you did miss it a little.

“Okay, dad. I gotta go, I’ll catch the bus down after I let work know.”

“Thanks, bub. I really do appreciate it.”

“It’s okay, I want to.”

“Alright. You know I love you.”

“Yeah, love you too.”

“You headed over to the shop? Can I send you with a coffee and cinnamon roll for the boss?” Georgie asked with a sweet smile, her long earrings dangling just below her jawline as she turned toward the pastry case.

“He doesn’t need anymore sugar, Georgie,” you chided, but your tone didn’t hold any heat as the older woman turned back around, cinnamon roll boxed up tidy in one hand and a to-go cup of black coffee in the other.

You leveled her with a look, but the smile tugging at the corners of your lips gave you away. “Fine. But maybe make some croissants or something with less–” you waved your hand toward the sticky-sweet-frosting-coated rolls in the case, “–well, just less.” Both of you started laughing and Georgie gave you a wink.

“Okay, sure. I’ll see what I can whip up.”

“His heart thanks you,” you sighed, shaking your head and getting up from the counter. “I’ll be back tomorrow I’m sure,” leaving some cash on the counter you shouldered open the door, bell jingling brightly above you, and stepped out onto main street.

The sun was out, warming everything in the bright early morning light. You could already feel how it wanted to heat up, wanted to make your skin feel too hot and bright. Pink and red like ripe strawberries, wanted to kiss it and dot new freckles along your nose and cheeks. The ones you’d hated when you were younger, but liked now for whatever reason and even though it was September, summer was clinging on a bit longer refusing to let go, and down town was buzzing with activity. People were bustling around getting ready for the day, shops opening and setting out their signs on the sidewalk, pulling people in to browse and seek refuge in the late afternoon heat.

After the old antiques place closed up next to Family Video your dad was quick to jump on it and lease the space, seeing the potential it had and wanting to put action to his passion for books.

He and your mom divorced when you were young, too young to understand or ask questions or get lost in the whys and the only memory you had of her was a glowing, glittering thing. Dark, tight curls and lavender, eyes warm like burnt caramel, hugs pulled close and while you don’t remember you were at least thankful that it was a happy one.

Growing up you swore that love was real, swore you’d find someone to sweep you off your feet like they did in all those Disney movies, but as time spun on you realized that maybe love was a story people told themselves as a distraction. Like looking through magazines full of pictures of places far, far away and telling yourself someday you’d visit when you knew you really wouldn’t. Your dad, despite his own history, felt differently.

He thought love was a wonderful, all-consuming thing that wrapped itself around you like hot cocoa after being out in the snow. A beautiful give and take. Terrifying honesty and openness that would set you free once you surrendered and even though he had remained single after your mom he still believed it.

“Morning, bub! Oh coffee, thank god. And a cinnamon roll? Remind me to stop by the diner on the way home, Georgie’s a sweetheart.”

“Yeah well, I told her you don’t need anymore of this,” you said, shoving the box at him from across the front counter, “Or broken bones won’t be your only worry.”

“Hey, now. Let me have this,” he grumbled back, taking a drink of his coffee, but then his expression softened as realization came over him. “Ah, I forgot to tell you. It’s game night, so we’ll close up shop and just head over to the high school after,” he said casually, opening up the register.

“Game night?” you started, worried there was some weekly canasta game he’d failed to tell you about, but he laughed and waved you off.

“Game night. Basketball. You know, round orange ball? Throw it into a hoop?”

You firmed your lips into a line and rolled your eyes. “Yes. Okay. I get it. Are we cheering on anyone specific?” you asked expectantly, tossing your bag behind the counter, taking your name tag from the drawer and pinning it on your shirt.

“No, but if we didn’t go we’d be a disgrace to the whole community,” he stated very matter-of-factly and you shook your head.

“Okay, okay. Game night. Great, can’t wait.”

“Listen, I’ll buy us popcorn and soda and do the whole thing. Just like you’re back in high school,” he bribed and you looked at him skeptically over your shoulder.

“I don’t want to be back in high school.”

“C’mon, it wasn’t that bad was it? Besides, we’ll see a couple of your old friends I’m sure.”

“Friends?” you felt your stomach flip over at the sudden rush of memories that flooded your mind right there on the spot.

Red licorice, filling the van with hazy smoke, juice too sweet and mixed with bad vodka, late nights floating weightless in pools while the moon hung overhead.

“Yeah,” your dad’s face scrunched up in thought, digging for names, and when it finally hit him he jabbed a finger at you. “Eddie Munson for one! He’s around here. And that Buckley girl, she manages Family Video now and…” his eyes lifted to the ceiling, thinking, and then, “Oh! God, I need more coffee. Steve, Steve Harrington. He took the coaching job last year. Best one we’ve had in a long time.”

Steve.

Steve Harrington.

Your brain felt like it had disconnected from reality. Like it was scrambling to try and figure out what exactly your dad had just told you and the look on your face was apparently making that all too obvious.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I just thought you’d like to–”

“No! No that’s great,” you cut him off, trying to give him a big smile and thankfully he took it as you turned around to face the bookshelf again, “Can’t wait to catch up.”

Everything was a mixture of cheers and boos and the clock buzzing and the slap of the ball on the court and you tried to ground yourself in it all, but it felt like you were drowning. It was so familiar, but so foreign and as you watched the kids on the other side of the court you tried to remember what it was like. Laughing with each other or sneaking booze into paper soda cups or not caring at all being attached at the face in the stands.

You might have been able to get a grip on shit, might have waded through the night just fine, but there was something else that held you tight like a vice.

Messy brown hair, moles and freckles like tiny constellations scattered across his skin, the same old dirty pair of Blazers on his feet, the curve of his mouth, the way he propped his hand on his hip.

Steve.

Your best friend.

Was your best friend.

You knew you should’ve been watching the game, should’ve been paying attention so that you could hold at least a semi-decent conversation the next morning in the shop, but you couldn’t pull your eyes away.

Coach Harrington.

Was he the same as he’d been before you’d left? Smug and cocky, but all warm and soft underneath. Shotgunning a beer one minute and holding your hand tight and close in his the next. Singing loud enough in the car his voice cracked and broke until he fell apart into laughter and looked over at you with those eyes. Burnt caramel, warm honey, flecks of gold and green and deep and–

“Hell of a game! My god, paper’ll have a heck of an article tomorrow,” your dad’s voice shook you back to reality and when you looked back up at the scoreboard the time read 00:00.

“Yeah, yeah damn. Great game,” you laughed weakly and tried to smile at your dad, eyes flicking back over to the sidelines to see Steve and the rest of the team were gone. Because of course they were. The game was over.

“Well. Don’t feel like you gotta come straight home,” your dad said, giving your arm a squeeze, “I know you probably wanna catch up with your friends.”

“Dad–” you started, brows furrowing together as you pinched the bridge of your nose between your fingers, “I really don’t feel like we’re friends, it’s been years since–”

“Oh don’t be silly, time doesn’t matter,” he waved a hand dismissively at you and stood from the bench, a crutch under each arm, “Just go say hi already. Scaredy cat.”

“Excuse me–” you protested, offense all over your face as you got ready to dig into him, but it stalled on your lips as you heard the metal slam of a door across the gym. It was a knee jerk reaction to look up and as you did you wished you hadn’t.

Your eyes met Steve’s, his faded navy baseball hat working overtime to contain all that hair, and while it was only for a split second it felt like a lifetime. You’d been thinking all night about what you were going to do, what you’d say, and maybe you secretly hoped he’d give you a smile but you were met with something worse.

Indifference.

Not so much as a smile or a nod or half-hearted wave, his lips in a firm line, or was it a grimace? It couldn’t be, but then he was looking away and shoving open the gym door into the parking lot.

“Excuse you–” your dad retorted, but when you didn’t sass him back he waved a hand across your eye line. “Hey, you in there?”

“What?” fell out lamely and your head whipped back around.

“You were about to take me to school on something, but…” he drifted off, eyes flicking up to the door Steve had just left through.

“Oh, I just mean–it’s just–it’s been so long. You know? They’re probably busy and–”

“Bub, you don’t know until you try. You’re gonna want someone your own age to talk to while you’re in town. Look, I’m already driving you nuts,” he laughed and reached over to give your shoulder a little poke.

Rolling your eyes you jammed your hands into your pockets and jerked your head toward the door, “C’mon old man. You can drive me nuts at home.”

“Alright,” he chuckled and clumsily followed after, still getting the hang of his crutches. “But promise me you’ll get out every now and again while you’re here? Please?”

Looking down at the old gym floor covered in scuffs and dents and dings you sighed. Was this the wrong decision? Should you have stayed home? Just sent someone else to help out? “Okay. Sure. I promise,” you murmured opening the door for your dad and walking out into the night.

The next morning you were up again early, throwing on a pair of jeans and a band tee, Chucks beat up and snug on your feet. The exact opposite of what you were supposed to wear to work back in the city, but it was a surprisingly welcome change. No presentations to creative leadership, no manuscripts to screen, no deadlines and no phone on your desk ringing off the hook. Just the smell of books, the lilt of the bell on the door and too much time to think.

Think about last night. About how you still had nearly a month left in Hawkins. Had no idea how you were going to spend it and no idea why god’s name you were still thinking about him.

About Steve.

About the look, or non-look, he’d given you.

And while you couldn’t blame him, it didn’t make it sting any less.

Hand on your closet door you moved to shut it, but your eyes caught a flash of red. A box on the top shelf. You’d taken most everything with you when you moved to Indianapolis for college, but had apparently missed that.

Pulling it down you blew the dust off the top of it and lifted the lid slowly to find a pile of forgotten memories looking up at you. Throat tightening, a flood of unexpected emotions poured over you, wrapping themselves snug and warm around your heart.

Polaroids of a younger version of yourself grinning up through the frame, joint dangling from your lips, a pair of sunglasses perched on your nose. One of Steve and Eddie mid-jump into the quarry on the hottest day in July. Robin laughing, cheeks stuffed too-full with grapes on a dare to see how many she could fit in her mouth. Nancy’s tiny frame enveloped by Jonathan’s big arms, his hand outstretched to block the lens, both of them grinning like mad.

You felt a small laugh fall from your lips as you gently set the box on your bed, gathering the polaroids up and setting them aside to find more things at the bottom. An old half-smoked joint stub, a lighter, a button with “Nancy for President!” on it, movie tickets and a couple pieces of popcorn, an old Family Video name tag, and something bright hiding under a pair of 3D glasses. Reaching in, your fingers softly lifted it from the box.

Tiny little strings of thread twisted together in a messy braid. Your three favorite colors, purple, green and pink tangled together in a promise you’d made Steve all those summers ago and you felt your chest squeeze. Guilt. Regret.

“God, I’m terrible at this, it looks like shit,” Steve grumbled, tongue poking out between his lips in concentration as he tried to braid his strings together.

Both of you were sat on the floor of your room, knee to knee with your back against your bed, radio playing Pet Shop Boys in the background. The last rays of sunlight fell through your window and danced across the bare skin of your legs, fan on the ceiling pushing too-warm air around the room.

“It doesn’t look like shit, it’s fine–” you tried for reassurance, but the small smile playing on your lips gave you away.

“Fine. That’s not ‘good’ or ‘great’. It makes it sound like–” Steve started to protest, but then he glanced over to see your fingers deftly twisting together his favorite colors – yellow, blue and orange. “Christ, yes it does look like shit! Look at yours, are you kidding me?” he flung a hand out for emphasis and you let out a laugh.

“Shut up! I’ve been doing this since second grade or something stupid, cut yourself a break,” you reached across your lap to shove him, expression softening as he shook his head.

“No, no way. You can’t wear this. People will ask what idiot tried to make you a dumb friendship bracelet in the dark with two left hands,” and he started to ball it up, but your hands covered his, head dipping down to look at him properly.

“Steve, it’s not about what it looks like,” you chided gently and he huffed a sigh, but you gave him a little smile, “Best friends forever, right?”

“Best friends forever,” he mumbled back, your little motto, but when he looked up at you his frown softened.

Silence lingered then for a moment between the two of you, his eyes still looking into yours as you floated in the soft light that filled your room, your hands pressing into each other. The last bits of sun and summer holding you tight in its warmth.

Steve’s lips parted as he stared at you, the look in his eyes making you feel like all the air had been pulled from your lungs, like your room had fallen away and all that existed in that moment was you and Steve.

“D’you have to go?” he murmured.

“I–” you stuttered, suddenly unsure of your answer, waffling on what had been such a sure decision just a few of months ago. To get out of Hawkins. To find something new. Something away from Steve and leave all of this behind.

“Just stay.”

“Steve…” your voice was barely above a whisper, eyes looking and searching his as he untangled a hand from yours and settled it gently on your cheek.

“Stay,” he whispered and as he leaned in slow and steady you swore time stood still, his lips pressing into yours, warm and soft like they held summer and promises of forever.

“Didja fall in up there? Cos if you did, I can’t climb the stairs to help you, bub,” you sucked in a gasp, your dad’s voice pulling you out of the spiral you’d fallen into, tears welling up at the corners of your eyes. Hastily wiping your arms across your face you tossed the bracelet back into the box and shut the lid, shoving it back up on the shelf you’d found it on.

“Yeah! Sorry, just trying to find my other shoe,” you lied, voice wobbling a little as you hurried over to your dresser mirror to make sure you didn’t look like you’d been crying.

“Alright, meet you at the car!” he called up the stairs and you took in a breath, trying to steady yourself.

“It’s fine. You’re fine,” you whispered to your reflection.

And somehow you’d managed to gather yourself together before hopping into your rental car, driving you and your dad down the road to the diner for coffee before work. The sun was out again, but it didn’t hold as much heat as it had the day before and you opted to open the windows instead of cranking the AC.

“You sure you want it hot?” you asked your dad, shifting into park at the curb.

“Yes, I’m sure. Coffee is brewed hot, why would you cool it down?” he shot back indignantly and you huffed a laugh.

“Alright, no one’s judging, I just–” shutting your door you poked your head in through the window, “–it’s gonna be warm again today. Cold is nice sometimes!”

“Hot, please!” your dad yelled after you as you pulled the diner door open, waving him off with a dismissive hand.

“Mornin’, hon! The usual?” Georgie greeted you warmly, earrings dangling past her jawline and bright in the light from the windows.

“Yes, please, but make mine cold if you can?”

Saddling up at the counter, your fingers idly flipped the plastic pages of one of the menus while you waited, the sound of bacon sizzling in the kitchen. It was odd, the comfort this place offered you, but it was needed this morning and you settled into it easily like a warm hug. Like seeing an old friend and you were so content you didn’t hear the bell on the door ring behind you, but the voice that followed was louder than your heart pounding against your ribcage.

“Gigi! Need a coffee and bacon, egg on toast to-go this morning.”

You nearly fell off your stool to hide under the bar, but opted instead to be an adult and hide your face behind your arm, propping an elbow on the counter and tossing your gaze off in the opposite direction.

“Stevie! Lord have mercy, that game gave me a couple of new gray hairs,” the older woman teased playfully and the laugh he gave back made your stomach flip over.

“Sorry, we’ll do better next time, promise.”

“Good, you better. S’on me this morning.”

“G, you don’t have to do that–”

“Yes, I do! Don’t you fight me on that, I’ve got a mean south paw.”

Steve laughed again and you wanted to die as he sat on the stool one over from you, drumming his fingers on the counter and shaking his head, “Okay, okay. You win.”

“That’s right. I do,” and Georgie busied herself with getting his coffee, barking back his order to the cooks just as yours came through the bus window.

Shit. No way to leave undetected now.

“Alright, sweets. Here’s your dad’s coffee and I had Hal whip up a little whole wheat toast with scrambled eggs. Better than a cinnamon roll?” Georgie gave you a very pleased look and you felt like you were going to collapse in on yourself as you moved your hand away from your face to take the two coffees and box of food.

“Thanks, Georgie,” you mumbled sheepishly, keeping your eyes straight ahead, but you could feel him looking at you.

Clearing your throat you left a wad of cash on the counter before turning to leave, looking everywhere except that damn stool. You made it halfway to the door before his voice stopped you in your tracks.

“Thought that was you.”

Your breath caught in your throat and you wished running out of the diner had been an acceptable response to both the panic rising in your chest and Steve’s clipped tone, but you didn’t and instead turned around to finally face him.

“In the flesh,” you joked lamely and immediately wanted to kick yourself.

He was studying you as though he were looking for something. Eyes still warm like honey, mouth firmed in the same line they’d been pursed into the night before, brows unamused and pulled in at the middle. He didn’t laugh.

“Had enough of the ‘big city’?” he mocked, tongue jamming into his cheek as he watched you uncomfortably shift your feet on the checkered tile floor.

“Yeah, smells worse than cow shit if you can believe it,” you were shocked at how quickly you were thinking on your feet and almost grinned at him, but his reply knocked you down a peg or two.

“I could’ve told you that,” he grumbled, turning in his stool to look back at Georgie, the older woman flicking her eyes back and forth between the two of you like she was watching a tennis match. In fact most everyone else in the diner was watching now and you felt heat rise in your cheeks.

“Well, I’ll be here all month, so knock yourself out,” and before he could throw anything back at you, you hurried out the door to the car and didn’t look back.

The conversation with Steve, if you could even call it that, was all you could think about for the rest of the day and your dad knew something was up, but he didn’t push you on it. You had to go back and fix the books you’d put in the wrong place in your mess of distraction after lunch and when you finally came around the back of the counter to get a drink of what was mostly melted ice now than iced coffee, your dad gently prodded.

“Georgie say anything this morning?”

“Yeah. Said she’s only feeding you whole wheat toast from now on, so get used to it,” you grumbled and he smiled, gently grabbing your hand before you could stalk away to hide in the rows of books.

“Did anything else come up?” he fixed you with an expectant look and you frowned.

“No.”

“No?”

Closing your eyes you loosed a sigh and put your face in your hands. “Everyone here hates me,” came out muffled through your fingers and your dad let out a belly laugh.

“Hates you? Says who?”

“Everyone.”

“Bub, no one hates you,” he reached over to yank your hands away from your face and gave you one of his I’m dad, listen to me looks.

“Easy for you to say, you’re not the one running away from shit,” you argued back, folding your arms tight across your chest and his expression softened.

“Least you came back? I’d say that takes some courage,” he countered, lifting his brows for emphasis and poking you gently with the end of one of his crutches.

You frowned and he laughed again, reaching over to pull you into hug. “Listen. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Most of the time these things are cleared up with a simple conversation,” he said, holding you out at arm’s length.

“Simple conversation? Yeah I don’t think so–”

“You haven’t even tried,” he cut you off and gave you a stern look, “Y’know, I’m not as dumb as I look.”

“I didn’t say that–”

“Promise me you’ll talk to him. Even if it sucks at first, just try it.”

You sharply exhaled a short puff of air through your nose, looking down at the floor not wanting to give in, but you could feel your dad staring holes into you.

“Fine. Fine. I’ll try,” you conceded, kicking a toe into the base of the counter and your dad shoved your shoulder playfully.

“That’s the ticket, and you know I’m always here for advice,” he wiggled his eyebrows at you and you rolled your eyes, a small smile playing on your lips.

“No offense, but no thanks,” you teased, walking back to keep stocking the shelves and he called after you.

“I’m like, twenty-two years older than you are! I know a lot!”

“Sure you do, dad! I’m sure you do.”

Cleared up with a simple conversation.

Sure. Right. Of course. But where were you supposed to even have said conversation? How were you supposed to ask Steve if he wanted to talk? Just waltz up to him on the street and casually see if he wanted to have a sit down with you? There was no way you were going to be able to muster up the courage to approach him at the diner and after that fated morning you made sure to arrive before or after he grabbed his usual 7:30am pick-up.

It wasn’t until you were closing up shop again on Friday that your dad reminded you of the plans you’d made. Well, that Hawkins had made for you.

“Better giddy up, gonna miss tip off,” your dad was digging around in the counter drawer for the keys as you finished sweeping the entryway.

“Tip off?”

“Yeah,” he stopped his search long enough to give you a look and then went back to digging, “Game night.”

Oh, fuck. Right. Game night. Because all of Hawkins shut down at five on Fridays for basketball and god forbid you miss it.

“Think I’ll stay home,” you mumbled, eyes on the floor, but you could feel the judgement your dad was throwing across the shop at you.

“And miss out on quality time with your old man? Before I’m all wrinkly and need an actual wheel chair?”

“That’s not fair,” you flicked your eyes up to frown at him, pointing a finger for emphasis and he grinned.

“You drive, I’m a little–” he shook a crutch at you and it was like you could physically feel yourself giving in.

“As soon as you get rid of those? I’m gone,” you grumbled and he laughed, an Aha! coming from behind the counter as he finally yanked the keys from the drawer.

“Lock up, I’ll start hobbling,” tossing the keys at you, you barely caught them and as soon as his back was turned you stuck out your tongue. What? Maturity is overrated.

The gym was packed. Your dad had failed to mention Hawkins was playing their rival team from the next town over and you tried to get a grip on shit. It took everything in you to not look at Steve as the starting line up was introduced, and you managed somehow, but once the game started you couldn’t help yourself.

Stealing a glance, you felt your pulse flutter against your neck. God he looked good. Same faded navy baseball cap snug over his mess of brown hair, hand propped on his hip as he yelled plays from the sidelines, jaw clenched on the wad of gum in his mouth and you grumbled under your breath, but your heart told a different story as it hammered against your ribs.

You sat with your arms folded across your chest, determined to be unhappy and miserable for the entirety of the game, but somehow every time Hawkins made a three-pointer or nailed all of their free throws after a foul you felt yourself softening until there were only two minutes left. The game was all tied up and you were a screaming mess.

“C’mon!” you yelled, hands cupped around your mouth as you stood up with the rest of the fans, “I can play better than these guys!”

Your dad had to bite back a laugh as he did his best to ignore you, trying not to bring attention to how invested you’d become. The rival team hit another bucket from the three-point line and you groaned along with everyone else, Hawkins down by two with 0:30 on the clock.

The point guard on the other team called a timeout and usually everyone would sit down, but the entire gym was still on their feet, anxious and watching as time ran out quickly.

Steve huddled his team up, gathering them around his clipboard and you craned your neck to try and see what was jotted down, but it was covered up by all the heads in the way. Watching as he talked to the boys you noticed how he was firm, but still soft. Decided, but encouraging, and when the buzzer went off you could just make out what he yelled at the team.

“Remember, it’s not about what it looks like! Long as you’re trying!”

Your breath caught in your throat.

It’s not about what it looks like.

Your words.

And you were so caught up in it all you didn’t hear the crowd when Hawkins hit the last three-pointer to end the game with a win. Didn’t hear your dad cheering next to you so loudly his voice cracked. Didn’t feel the bleachers shaking with all the jumping and bustling about. All you could see was Steve and as the team rushed him after the win he looked up and met your gaze, a flicker of a smile twitching at the corners of his lips.

“A photo finish, scout!” your dad grabbed your shoulder, other hand throwing a fist into the air, “Good game, boys!”

“Oh,” fell out, the sound of everything rushing back in against your eardrums, and you quickly put your fingers to your mouth to whistle, “Good game, Tigers!”

“Still don’t have to come home right away,” your dad was looking back over at you with a knowing smile on his face, “Georgie’ll give me a ride.”

You bit in your bottom lip, wishing you were unsure of what you wanted, but your eyes looked over at Steve and you knew what your answer was going to be.

Simple conversation.

“Yeah. Alright. I’ll stay, but don’t get too excited,” you grumbled, cramming your hands into the pockets of your jeans as the gym started to clear out.

“Great! I mean–cool,” your dad tried to recover, tried to not sound too excited, but his outburst gave him away. The next look you fixed him with was enough of a cue and he hobbled away after Georgie, making his way out with the rest of the crowd and leaving you there awkwardly in the stands.

Your eyes scanned the gym and couldn’t find Steve, but it was the same as it’d happened last time. He was gone soon as the game finished and then reappeared after a little while. Probably giving the boys a post-game run down or something, so you tried to make yourself look busy.

Reading the plaques on the walls, looking at the Hawkins hall-of-fame jerseys hung up in the rafters, the signed championship balls in cases along the walls, including the one signed by Lucas Sinclair.

A smile pulled at your lips and you put a hand on the glass, reading all the names one at at time, pausing just a little longer at Lucas’ signature. He was always so sweet.

“Taking a stroll down memory lane?” someone spoke up behind you, startling you a bit as you sucked in a gasp, and when you turned around to see who it was you wished you hadn’t.

Steve’s voice was a little less harsh than it’d been earlier in the week, but he still wasn’t smiling as he stood there in the empty gym looking at you like he was trying to dissect things and you felt your chest squeeze.

“High school, the best days of your life,” you mock swooned and he cracked just a tiny bit, the smallest little smirk, and you held onto it. Tucked it into your back pocket and saved it for later.

“Yeah. Bunch of bullshit if you ask me,” he retorted, feeding off your sarcasm and then turned abruptly and walked out the side door.

You stood there for a minute, confused. Didn’t he just agree with you? But then he was poking his head back in through the doorway, looking expectantly at you with those warm, brown eyes.

“Are you coming or…?”

Shit, you muttered and half-jogged to catch up as he disappeared out of view of the door frame.

crappymixtape™ • steve harrington masterlist // stranger things masterlist

#stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fic #steve harrington #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x fem #steve harrington stranger things #steve stranger things #steve x you #steve fanfic #steve x reader #steve x fem #steve harrington series #steve harrington fic #steve harrington request #request #ask

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thehorrorsoftheblackbunnymask · 2 years

Note

Hi hi :D Hope you're doin okay! I have a request if thats possible - regarding your highschool au! How about a oneshot (or headcanons) for one of those 'forced party' scenarios the proxies make [name] go to?

Like - how do you imagine they go? From the invitation (if you can call it that) to the drive there and just how they behave and treat [name] throughout the whole thing! Thank you :)

Forced Late Nights

Author's note: Sure! I was on my break so sorry this took so long-

Warnings: Alcohol, Drugs, Emotional and Mental Abuse, Threatens of rape, implied rape, murder mentioned, violence, implied drugging, harassment, pet names, peer pressure, PTSD mentioned (Toby), sexual assault and just not so nice things, read with caution.

Links: {Masterlist} {Last One-Shot}

Pairing: [Proxies x Reader] [EJ x Reader]

AU: High School (Check my Something Short Series for more info about this AU, link to it in my Masterlist)

"Hey! Whore, get over here."

You groaned at the voice yelling from behind you. Timothy Wright, one of the most popular boys in school and by far the most harsh. Him and his friends have been picking on you since Junior year. Saying bye to your friends you walked over to their lunch table.

"What do you want Tim?"

"Well we have an invitation for you!" Toby exclaimed, looking through his backpack before pulling out a black and white envelope.

"Invitation?" You asked, expressing your confusion.

"LJ is hosting a party tonight and he said we can bring one extra person," Brian said.

"And he said we can-" Toby started, before Tim hit him in the back of the head.

"Shut up Toby! LJ said we can bring a plus one, and you're gonna be our plus one."

"What if I were to refuse?"

Toby pulled his mask off and grabbed your wrist, pulling you into the table.

"We will drag you deep into the fucking woods, rape you than murder you," Toby said, smiling at your shaking form.

"Toby's lying about the rape part, like we'd ever want to fuck you," Tim said, Brian letting out a chuckle.

"So is it a deal?" Brian asked.

You thought about it. You didn't trust LJ, not one little bit, Lord knows what he'll pull at that damn party. But, you never really got invited to stuff like this, not because you were considered some weirdo, but because you weren't friends with people like that, so you didn't get invited to parties.

"Fine, I'll be your 'plus one'."

Toby got out from his seat and hugged you, swaying back and forth in pure joy.

"Yay! I won't have to be Brian and Tim's punching bag tonight! Tonight you're our punching bag! I can't wait to see you covered in your own blood."

"Toby, shut up," Brian said.

"Sorry..." Toby said, before letting go.

You decided it was best for you to leave now, before you had to deal with anymore of their wrath. Even though Toby was just as bad as Tim and Brian, you felt bad for him. He was abused by his only friends, his home life sucks and he has a handful of disorders.

You decided to go spend lunch near the alleyway next to school, just so you think straight.

"You shouldn't have agreed to going to that party."

You flinches and looked to the direction the voice came from, and there stood a tall guy will a black hoodie, brown hair, a mask on the side of his face, but he lacked eyes. You couldn't deny that he was kinda handsome, but you didn't know who he was.

"Who are you?"

"Don't worry about that, but what are you doing over here?"

"I'm not gonna share my business with a guy I don't even know."

"Smart Girl/Boy."

The stranger hopped onto the trash can you were sitting on.

"You friends with those Proxy guys?"

"No! They just pick on me."

"That's a shame."

You rolled your eyes and scrolled through your phone, waiting until lunch was over.

"You going to the party?" You asked, catching the stranger's attention.

"Yeah, that's why I asked why you agreed."

"I'll tell you if you tell me why you're going."

"Well, my friend Ben is going and he's dragging me with him. I would much rather take people's kidneys."

You laughed at what he said, assuming it was a joke. The stranger just stared at you before chuckling.

"Well, this'll be my first high school party, I just wanna see how it feels."

"It's just a bunch of drunk teenagers. Bunch of sex, drugs and assault. They're probably trying to get you drunk or drugged and fuck you," the stranger said, pulling his hood up.

"Well, I gotta head to science, maybe I'll see you during that party," the stranger said, jumping off of the trash can and walking off.

You smiled to yourself. He was pretty nice, and kinda attractive, even though the lack of eyes was intimidating.

You were walked to History class when you were stopped.

"Hey Y/N~"

"What do you want Jeff, I don't have time for your antics. Go bother your brother or something."

"That isn't very nice Y/N, I thought you were nice," Jeff said, his smile making you shiver.

"I'm nice to people who aren't murderers."

Jeff rolled his eyes as you walked past him.

"Why don't we walk to class together? We're both going to history with Mr. Bill."

"Fuck off."

Before you could say anything, a knife was in the inside of your mouth, it dangerously close to cutting the skin of your cheek.

"We're walking to class, got it?"

You nodded before he took it out, licking the saliva and blood that got on the knife, making you cringe.

The walk to class was silent, you didn't look at Jeff while Jeff stared at you.

"You two are awfully late," Mr. Bill said.

"Sorry teach, got lost on the way," Jeff said, before sitting down.

You sat down as you mindlessly listened to Mr. Bill's lecture. At the end of the day you were at your locker getting your stuff. You planned on going to the school's dealer, Ben Drowned. You needed a new computer and he could give it to you for a fair price, and you got what he needed.

You walked to the janitor's closet and opened the large vent in the wall before going in. It was dusty but it was worth it. You opened the vent and you instantly got the smell of weed.

"Another costumer!" Ben said, looking up to see you looking down.

You saw the stranger from earlier in the corner and Jeff smoking a joint on a couch.

"You took the long way, but that's fine, get your ass in here," Ben said as you jumped down.

"Where's my computer, I got what you want."

"No need to be so hasty, I have it, but I want to make sure I'm not getting scammed, show it."

You groaned as you reached into your backpack and pulled out a Mario Kart game. Ben snatched it before giving you your computer.

"Finally! Pleasure doing business with you Y/N."

"Yeah yeah whatever you say Elf Boy."

"Hey, why don't you stay for a bit!" Ben claimed, wrapping his arm around your shoulder, despite him being shorter than you.

"I'm good. I need to get ready for a party."

"You're going to the party too? Well, you have time! Relax a bit..."

Ben shoved you into a bean bag chair before he sat on his spinning chair, the stranger from earlier being next to you.

"Uh... nice seeing you again," You said awkwardly.

"I'm EJ by the way. I already know your Y/N so I don't care sharing my name."

"I didn't expect you to be down here. I thought you'd be at home."

"Had nothing better to do, so I'm here," EJ said shrugging.

"EJ try some! It ain't the bad," Jeff whined from across the room.

"No."

An hour passed and you decided it was time to go. You left through one of the vents and walked home. You couldn't help but feel like someone was watching you. Looking around, you didn't see no one besides the few people on their porches.

Unlocking the door of your house, you walked in and saw you mother standing in the doorway, her arms crossed and her face held in a scowl.

"Where have you been for the past 2 hours?!"

"I need help with my bio homework mom, it's not a big deal."

"For 2 hours?!"

"Yes. It was 10 pages ma."

"Well, call or text me next time. You had me worried something bad happened to you!"

"Oh yeah mom, can I ask you something?"

"What is it?"

"I was invited to a party and-"

"No."

"But mom it's my first-"

"No no no! I know how kids your age are. Running off, doing drugs and alcohol, having sex and throwing yourself around. Not in my house! Nope! What if you get hurt, what if you get drugged, you never no! And don't get me started on those friends of yours."

"Enough mom... I get it."

"Good."

You went upstairs and lied down for a bit. Scrolling on your phone and before you knew it, it was 8PM. You heard a loud honk and you looked out your window, and you saw Tim staring at you window.

"Get your ass down here!" Tim yelled, Toby's body hanging out from the window, a blush on his face.

"Hey Y/N~" Toby drunkenly said, a goofy grin on his face.

"My mom said can't go!"

"Who cares! Get down here!" Tim said.

"I'm being serious Tim, I'm not sneaking out. What will my mom do if she's me noting my room?"

"Do we look like we care. Come down!"

You sighed before walking back into your room. You changed into a hoodie and jeans before climbing out your window.

You hopped into the car and Toby hugged you, giggling about how much he hates you.

"Is he drunk?" You asked, pointing to Toby.

"Yeah. He was having flashbacks and decided to chug a bottle of whiskey. It helped him and he stopped trying to jump out the window," Brian said in a tired voice.

"I hate you so~ much Y/N... I just wanna fuck you to death..." Toby said, trying to kiss you.

"ok..!"

"Is he always like this drunk?" You asked, pushing Toby away.

"He's not even that drunk. He knows what he's doing. And no, he's more violent when drunk," Tim said, lighting a cigarette while he drove.

After 10 minutes you guys arrived at LJ's house. You could hear the music from the house, and you knew there was a party before two girls were making out on top of a car.

"Y/N~ You won't leave me.... Right?" Toby asked, his head buried in your chest.

You didn't respond, all you did was get out of the car, Toby following after you. Tim slammed opened the door and you guys were greeted by loud music, lights flashing everywhere and drunk teenagers.

You looked around and saw people dancing, people doing drinking contest and some people going upstairs to do Lord knows what.

"You look terrified," Brian said, a smirk on his face.

"Me?! Terrified no. It's just. It's not something I'm used to."

"Probably because you have no friends and don't go to actual parties," Tim said, walking off to the bar.

You just let out a sigh while you watched Brian follow Tim and Toby run off somewhere. Standing in the middle of the crowd you were kinda lost. You kinda just watched dance circles and the drinking contest.

"Hello dear customer of mine~"

Next thing you knew you felt someone wrap their arm around your shoulder.

"Hey Ben. What do you want?"

"Nothing nothing no need to be so hostile noobie. It's just, you look so lost and out of place, someone is gonna take advantage of that."

"No I don't!"

"Take a shot then," Ben said, handing you shot.

"No I don't drink."

"See! Fresh meat. You better start getting into the swing of things before LJ finds you, Lord knows what he'll do to you."

Ben laughed while he walked off, disappearing into the crowd of people. You found Tobg drinking his problems away at another bar station.

"You're a pig Tobias," A with a clock eye said, a look of disgust on her face.

"Shut *FUCK* up Natalie," Toby said, slurring his words while the woman named Natalie rolled her eye.

"Why aren't you with Tim and Brian?"

"Because Tim and Brian can suck my dick! They're nothing but dicks to me, luckily we brought some cutie with us so at least I'm not the only one facing their shit."

"So you brought another victim with you?"

"They're not just another victim Natalie! I really like them, I think they'll last long."

"You disgust me Tobias."

"The feelings mutual Natalie," Toby said, before taking another shot.

You sat down at the bar next to Toby and asked the bartender if they had any soda. Toby already looked wasted and distracted arguing and talking to Natalie so it should've been quick. When you grabbed your soda Toby grabbed you and held you close.

"This is the cutie we brought with us!"

You looked at Natalie and she didn't look amused at all.

"Let the poor girl/boy enjoy the party without your presence."

"Ugh, whatever. Go make some friends doll~" Toby said, before kicking you away.

You ran off into the crowd, wanting to get as far away from the party as possible. You were planning on hiding in the bathroom before you were stopped by the one man you didn't want to see.

"My my my! Do my eyes deceive me?!"

Laughing fucking Jack was hanging from the ceiling right Infront of you.

"LJ..."

"My, I don't recall inviting you, Y/N. So what are you, doing here?" LJ said with a sinister smirk on his face, his claw like finger booping you nose.

"Oh! You must be the Proxies plus one! They always had an eye on you," LJ said, jumping down and picking you up.

"Why don't we spend some time together. I wanna see if all the good things the Proxies talk about are true~"

You looked at him panicked spitting in his face and jumping out of his arms. Running up the stairs and into a random room. You locked the door and stunk to the floor. Tears falling from your eyes.

"Why why why did I come here..." You thought, before you realized the odd smell in the room.

Rubbing the tears away from your eyes, you looked around, trying to figure out where it was coming from. You saw Ben, EJ and Jeff smoking weed with porn playing on the TV.

"Welcome! Want some?" Ben asked giggling.

"No. I just, needed to get away," You said.

"Were you crying?" EJ asked, his mask on the floor and his head tilted to the side as he blew a puff of smoke with a smile.

You looked away and buried your head into your knees, wanting them to just go away. EJ took the joint out of his mouth before his long black tentacles came out of his mouth and wrapped around you.

"W-What the... Hey, let me go!" You yelled, pulling away.

The tentacles pulled you towards EJ and into his lap. His tentacles retreated back into his mouth before he wrapped his arms around you.

"You're soft EJ," Jeff said.

"That's why people like me, Jeff," EJ said, glaring at him.

Jeff rolled his eyes before turning his attention to the TV. Ben was doing something on his computer, something that seemed to have him bothered by the look on his face.

"What's wrong?" EJ asked as you cried into his hoodie.

"I-I wanna go home... LJ, or Toby or Brian or Tim are going to hurt me, I know one of them will. LJ knows I'm here. He wants to hurt me... I can see it in his eyes."

EJ just rubbed your back and tried to calm you down. Suddenly, a banging was coming from the door.

"I know you're in there! You can't escape the circus doll," LJ yelled from behind the door, his clown like laughter sending chills down your spine.

Ben slammed his computer shut with his eye twitching.

"LJ GO FIND ANOTHER WHORE TO BOTHER BECAUSE I SWEAR TO GOD IF I HEAR ONE MORE BITCH CRY I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!"

EJ and Jeff looked at Ben confused.

"Why are you so made?" EJ asked.

"I can't get into Nintendo's files for the new Mario kart game..."

EJ groaned and shook his head. LJ sneakered from behind the door.

"I'm sorry Ben. Did I push your buttons? I'll leave her alone. For now... Also Y/N, Masky is looking for you. Better come out before he gets upset."

All you did was hug EJ and not let go.

"Do you want to go yet?" EJ asked, you shaking your head.

"They needs to stop being a pussy and just go. You said you wanted to go home, and I'm not giving you a ride. So you either walk home or you're going to go to Masky," Ben said, before taking another puff of smoke.

You snuggled up closer to EJ before letting out a sigh. Your eyes slowly blinked before permanently closing. Suddenly, sirens could be heard from outside. Ben opened the window and saw 7 cop cars outside of LJ's house.

"THE COPS ARE HERE," Somebody from downstairs yelled.

"Welp, time to go," Ben said, before jumping out the window.

Jeff followed after, leaving EJ by himself. EJ set you down on the bed before running and jumping out the window.

"Where the hell are they..." Masky muttered, checking rooms to find where you were.

"Found them," Hoodie said, opening the door.

You slowly opened your eyes and saw Hoodie standing in front of you. You flinched and tried to get away but Hoodie slung you over his shoulder and ran out of the room.

"HANDS IN THE AIR," An officer said from below, a large group of teens on the ground with their hands up.

Toby snuck out through a window and got into the car. Using the key Tim gave him, he started the car and ran it right into the house, killing at least ten officers and 15 teens.

"GET IN!" Toby yelled, getting out of the driver's seat.

Hoodie threw you into the back seat, causing you to to hit you head on the door and blacking out. Masky got in the driver's and Toby made you sit up before getting in the back.

"They're knocked out cold," Toby said, hugging you unconscious body.

"Well we gotta get them home before we get in trouble," Hoodie said, getting a groan from Toby.

"Do we have to? Can't we just have one night with them? Boss never said we couldn't have some fun with our toy."

Hoodie looked at Masky who was going way over the speed limit.

"Fine, but after that they're going home," Masky said, before leading the car onto the road that lead to the forest.

A few hours later you woke up in your bed, your clothes were changed and you barley remembered what happened all of the last night. All you remember was that you were at some random house. Your body was sore and sticky, you didn't know why though.

"Y/N! Wake Up you're gonna be late for school!" Your mother said, catching your attention.

You finally fully work up and took at 5 minute shower before throwing on whatever clothes you could find. You grabbed your backpack and said bye to your mom before running to catch the bus. When you got on the bus, you saw EJ sitting in the back.

"Hey EJ," you said, sitting next to him.

"Hey."

You two both sat in silence. Kids were blasting music and talking while you two did your own thing. But when you got to school you were greeted by the Proxies.

"Hey Y/N~" Toby said, grabbing you.

"What do you guys want today?" You asked annoyed.

"We just wanted to know if you could hear fun at the party," Tim said.

"Party? What party?"

Brian and Tim looked at each other before Brian smirked.

"Well, you came to a party with us yesterday and you drank so much you threw up and blacked out in our car, and you did a line of crack," Brian said.

"You're lying," You said, glaring at him.

"I'm not, plus, I got photos."

You looked at Brian with suspicion as he pulled out him camera. Your eyes widened in horror as you saw picture of yourself snorting a line, drinking and throwing up. But you froze when you saw yourself on the floor of the woods, your clothes pretty much being ripped to shreds and white liquid dropping from your mouth.

"W-What," You said, your hands shaking as you dropped the camera, only for Brian to catch it.

"We won't share these photos if you behave, ok?" Brian said, grabbing your face and forcing you to face him.

"What did you do to me..." You asked, grabbing his wrist and pulling his hand away.

"There's more if you wanna see," Toby said.

"We did nothing sweet heart, just behave and we won't share them, ok?"

You just nodded before pushing him away and walking off, leaving them giggling as you held back tears. Why did you move to this school...

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jina-juhi · 8 months

Text

Birthday.

~Kim Namjoon x female reader.

Playlist for this vibe~

• Birthday by Ten.

• make me feel by Elvis drew.

• bad drugs by King Kavalier.

• codeine by solv

• dangerous hands by Austin Giorgio.

• your body by Jimmy brown, Rovv.

Authors note :- Hey guys this is jina, introducing @covertlydark, she's my friend and from now on we both will post our content on this page. hope y'all enjoy

• Reader's pov •

"Okay, This one?" my husband asks the same thing maybe for the sixth time for the night, his voice flat and heavy.

"Noo, we'll watch this some other day. I'm not feeling it right now." My voice lowered on its own at the end of my response when I heard his exhausted sigh. But he still manages to be patient with me.

"This one? This better be the one."

"Nope. Already watched this one."

"Without me?" He raises his eyebrows at me.

"Namjoon, we watched it together." I deadpan.

He scratches his head. "Oh yeah, right. I have an idea, you stay here to get ready, and decide which one you wanna watch while I prepare the table for us, the food is here and the cake is already waiting in the fridge."

"Okay." I smile at him and at the way his brain makes quick decisions and plans, a major contrast to my indecisiveness. He mirrors a smile and his lips brush against my cheeks and give me a quick kiss.

I bury my face in between his neck and shoulder, inhaling his fresh scent of soap and shade of spice and musk. My favorite combination. His mouth touches my bare shoulder and I can feel the curve in his lips against it.

"Go wash up, birthday girl." his husky voice and hot breath fell on my skin leaving a thrill in my spine.

"Be quick or I'll eat the cake myself!" he got up and sang on his way out of the bedroom. I shake my head at his goofiness and stretch my arms on the empty bed, squealing in content.

I hop into the shower and try my best with a little time in my hands. The insta-routine with all that exfoliating and shaving always takes a toll on a girl.

I hear the ringing on my phone after I'm dressed, Seojun's name on my screen, a friend who is also my senior colleague. A frown grew between my eyebrows because one thing that Seojun surely does not do is call after working hours.

I answer while I mindlessly flatten my black flowy dress and fiddle with my necklace, Namjoon gave me last night. It is the prettiest piece of jewelry I ever owned. He slipped it around my neck while I slept in his arms last night and I woke up with a shiny turquoise stone sitting on my chest.

"Happy birthday!" a scream drills my ears from the other side of the line and then an apology, not for me but for a really angry lady. I laugh at her carelessness. "Thank you for the wish, not for the hearing aid bill."

"Oh come on. Why didn't you tell me it's your birthday? I thought you were on leave because you were going somewhere. Jin told me with a cocky-ass grin on his face. I wanted to know it from you not him..." I tune out her blabbering.

I exhale a breath annoyed at the fact that I specifically warned him not to tell anyone. But it's too late now I think he went around the office with a banner of that information because I could hear my notification box exploding.

I don't like it when too many people know about my birthday. It gets overwhelming with all the wishes and responding to everyone with an equal amount of emotion so that the person wishing me does not think I am not grateful or something. I am. I really am, the thing is I don't know how to react to them.

My excitement for my birthday is as same as my excitement for hugging a porcupine. It is just a normal day for me, not for my husband. He is filling the gaps in my lacking enthusiasm because he has got tons of it.

"...and then you know what he told me? He told me that I am not that important to you!? the man really got some nerves to say that on my face. I swear-"

"Okay okay! Calm down. You can discuss him some other time." I huff.

She scoffs and then grumbles, "no one wants to discuss him. Well anyways, I'll be out of your hair. You must be getting ready to go out, right?" exciting curiosity enters her voice. "I mean of course you are. You are THE party girl after all. Wear something sexy, that husband of yours will fall for you all over again..."

Wow, sometimes I forget about how much she talks.

"Seojun, we're not going out. We are just celebrating at home. I wanted to keep it small and simple." I cut in between her chattering.

"Oh." she was speechless after the 'oh'. I know she tried her best to make it sound less pitiful but well she failed. Yes, I've always been the party girl but I guess people change.

I didn't want to go through all that hassle of going out and posting pictures just because I am supposed to do so. I'll do all that when it feels right and when I'm in the mood to go to some fancy restaurant.

"Okay. Well, enjoy your evening. Happy Birthday again." The call ends after I thank her and assure her to call later.

Maybe I'm feeling this because I'm not in my twenties anymore. Am I getting boring? The past-me would be so disappointed, in her eyes, the present-me is lame and boring. If anyone hears this in the office maybe they'll think the same.

You are not fun anymore.

My subconscious screams. I should not have forced Namjoon to stay in today I should have listened to him. What if he thinks-

"Y/N!" I hear his voice anchoring me to earth. "I called your name three times. You okay?" he looks at me with concern but I mask my face with a smile.

"Yes. Just thinking...which one of these should I wear?" I hold up two pairs of earrings while he closed the distance between us in just two long strides.

He changed into a black shirt- with sleeves folded, shriveled up to his elbows- and black pants, looking handsome as ever even in something so simple like this. His hair was perfectly set, not blocking the view of his gorgeous face. He always leaves me mesmerized.

He wraps strong arms around my waist and tugs me closer to him, and uncountable butterflies escape dancing in my stomach. Even after five years of our marriage, he pulls out that effect on me that I know would be the same forever. Every touch, every kiss is like a first. Better than the first.

"The gold ones." his full lips touch my forehead reaping my tiny smile. "Now tell me what is really going on inside this head." he kisses the same spot again.

I sigh against his chest. "How do you always know?" I squint my eyes at him earning his soft laugh.

"Always." he simply shrugs.

He waits patiently for me while I contemplate what to say. "Am I getting boring or... lame?" the question sitting on the tip of my tongue finally made it to my lips.

He frowns and searches for my eyes but I settle them on his chest, and so do my palms. "What makes you think that?" his deep voice pins me with a question. I shrug to lighten the mood, "Nothing it's just the birthday blues hitting me. You know how I was, I used to be the girl who looked forward to going all out and having fun on birthdays. And now... I just don't feel that way."

I finally look him in the eyes and he looks at me with his soft ones with an understanding look. "Now I absolutely feel like I'm getting old." I chuckle lightly.

"Hey... you are not lame or boring. We still go out and have fun when we feel like it. Sometimes I feel the same way, to stay at home and have a good quality evening, just the two of us. That does not mean we are boring people. It simply means we can enjoy ourselves no matter what age we are or the setting is. We are just normal people in our thirties, having fun together in our own way." he finishes with a firm steady voice making me believe every word he said and cherish it, tattooed on my heart.

"Normal people," I whisper out repeating it in my head with a smile. My chest balloons with emotions. He makes me look at things from different perspectives. Good perspectives. He is the anchor of my ship in the vast sea and I will forever be grateful to him.

Now both of us smile. A real one with no masks. He hugs me tightly, healing every tiniest crack in my soul.

"Also," he moves his nose and traces along my neck to my ear. His hot breath rushes on my skin making me twitch with giddiness. "...I don't think boring people do things we do in bed or... kitchen or bathroom. Especially not the ones we did last night and this morning."

My breath gets caught. Eyes wide and lips parted at his low tone. My head replaying what he just reminded me. White silk sheets, whispered promises, his heavy breaths and grunts, his hands tracing the goosebumps of my skin, his tongue on my—

Heat rushes to the south of my body and my face. He breaks the hug to have a good look at my face and fucking laughs at my state.

I suppress my smile and slap on his buff chest. "Now if you are done thinking about obscene things then let's go I have something to show you." he covers my eyes and starts guiding me through the hallway.

"Nomjoon I don't think covering my eyes is necessary."

"Shh. Ofcourse it is. Just walk." We enter and stop in I suppose the living room.

"Okay now, ready?" He finally says.

"Yes!"

He removes his hand and back hugs me while I open my eyes taking in the view of the living room. I gasp at the beautiful set-up he arranged, a canopy decorated with tiny fairy lights and cushions scattered under it and my favorite duvet.

He set the dinner table with plates and my favorite food, a bottle of red wine and glasses sitting next to them. Bunch of scented candles here and there, radiating warmth and light in the darkest of corners just like he fills my life, my soul, with his presence.

"Happy birthday, baby."

The pressure builds behind my eyes and in my throat constricting my words. I blink a few times to drive out the moisture in my eyes.

He settles his chin on my shoulder maybe waiting for me to say something but I'm speechless at his gesture.

"You like it?"

Like? "I love it, Namjoon. All this... It's so beautiful." my voice shakes with emotions.

"Thank you. So much. This is perfect." he turns me towards him, "glad you love it."

I lace my hands on his neck, raise on my tip-toes to make up for our height difference, and lock my lips with his soft ones. He sucks in a breath and yanks me flushed against him to deepen the kiss. His sweet taste invade my tongue.

Namjoon groans, and his hand fist the locks of my hair. His lips glide on mine and our chests glued to each other running out of oxygen. He brushes his lips against mine one last time. Breaking the kiss before it gets heated and we end up in the bed like always.

"I love you," I say in a daze.

"I love you." He says back his eyes gleaming in the candlelight and his face glowing with a golden tint. He is fucking perfect. He completes me. Every crevice in my life. We complete each other.

We sat at the table for our evening candlelight dinner. He opened the wine bottle with the cork opener and poured the content, an action that had no right to be that sexy.

"Enjoying the show?" he raises an eyebrow at me.

I hide my smile behind the glass. "Hmm, maybe." I sip the rich red liquid while soaking in the hard work he put into all this. "How did you do all this on your own? How long was I in there, four hours?"

He rasps out a laugh. "One hour. You were in there for one hour, thank god i completed it way before you walking in on me trying really hard to figure out how the hell am i supposed to hang that thing." He gestures towards the dreamy canopy. I would have loved watching him do that.

"Do you know what the most shocking part is? I didn't break anything today." He jokes. "Wow, that's a new record. I'm impressed, Mr. Kim." Our chatter and laughter mingles with the cozy air around us. We finish off what I call, the best meal I had in a long time. He sang me the birthday song while I cut the cake, his goofy playful side returning to him.

These are the little moments I treasure the most in our relationship. No grand gestures, no phones, no office talk, just us. I'll never be tired of this. Of him.

We settle ourselves under the canopy net after dinner. He brought his laptop to watch some k-drama or a movie. "Decided what you want to watch?" he asks me. "Yeah. Since today is Monday I think the new episode of the one we were watching is out by now. I'm so excited to watch that only three episodes are left."

We cuddle under the duvet. I feel safest and comfortable when he cuddles up and grips his arms around my tummy.

His chest moves subtly against my back. I feel every rumble in his torso when he laughs at something comedic. I barely pay attention to the drama. I miss reading the subtitles when the main character said something important about the story. I rewind the scene, "sorry I missed what he said."

He hums and kisses on top of my head. The scene replays but I get distracted yet again when my husband ran his hand on my stomach to my hip, giving it a squeeze before resting it there.

Well, this was not the first time. It is almost normal now. Almost, because every time he gets my mind fogged up.

I replay the scene again this time without saying anything and he too stays quiet. His hand grazes the texture of my dress, resting right on the curve of my thigh.

My mind is blank. Laser focused on his touch. And for the third time, I watch the same thing.

Great. Fucking great. I can't even read the damn subtitles.

"Can't read the subtitles, honey?" he reads my thought in a subtle mocking tone above my ear and my chest tightens.

"He is... talking too fast it's impossible to read that much within seconds." I justify after clicking pause on the screen. He hums in response in a way of saying, 'yeah right'. Not buying any shit. "What? unlike you, I have to pay attention to both the subtitles and the scenes."

Of course, living with him I have improved my Korean but I am not perfect at it.

He chuckles in his deep voice which always sinks into my heart, as deep as it is. "He barely said ten words." And just like that, I'm caught. Thick silence surrounds us, turning up the anticipation.

His lips skim over my neck. I am quiet but the sounds of our breathing fill the air.

He kisses the soft spot on my neck while his hand moves further to the hem of my dress. It takes him no time to find out that I'm already wet for him because I skipped wearing my underwear.

I exhale sharply when his cold fingers swipe between my folds. He groans in my neck, "Fuck. No underwear?" His voice is strained and breathy sending a shiver down my body. "There is no point in wearing one." I manage between my pants and focus back on his fingers working in the slowest circles.

"You're gonna kill me if you keep saying things like that so innocently."

I turn towards him to meet his mouth with mine. He props himself over me. His tall frame consumes my short one. His warmth radiates in the deepest of my soul, renewing it.

He takes away his fingers and I almost cry at the loss of contact. I whimper between our kisses. Namjoon kissed me the same as he fucks me, rough with a burning passion. Claiming me all over again.

"Take this off." He commands tugging on the cloth and making me sit. I collect my hair to side them and he took the hint to unzip me. He drags the zipper down taking his sweet time, his way of saying- you're not getting what you crave so easily.

In a quick slide, the dress comes off leaving me naked and at his mercy. The fact that I am completely bare before him and he is still in his clothes is so unfair and a fucking turn-on. I can feel myself dripping down. We haven't even started yet.

My eyes flicker down to his pants a huge bulge down his waist. I palm his erection and rub it until his breaths become short and fast. I fumble with the button and the zip to free him.

In a quick movement, he pins my hand above my head making me lay down on my back. The light from the fairy light makes his eyes glimmer. He stares down at me and I can feel the love he holds for me. A love without judgments and conditions.

"Today is all about you."

We exchange a smile. He peppers open mouth kisses on my chest. My heart thumps louder between my lungs. His tongue smooths over my skin offering my breasts his much-needed attention. His tongue flicks, licks, and laps on my hardened nipples making me moan, and giving me intense pleasure in every way possible. His hand made up for the other one twisting it between his fingers.

He reaches to my belly unhurriedly caressing the goosebumps. Sending a buzz of electricity in my body. Every touch, every caress is always filled with possession and lust.

He moves further down stopping just above the part of me begging for his touch. He lifts his head to look at me with a devilish glint.

"Click on the play button." He says.

"What?" I blurt out loudly, it sounds funny. I would have laughed at myself but I decide not to. His smile gets wider.

"Just do what I say, Y/N."

My heart will do anything he says if he takes my name in such a way. I click play and the scenes continue. I look back at him and raise my eyebrows at him to say something that's going on in his wicked mind. But instead of any explanation, he dips his head between my legs and I watch his tongue poke out to flick on my clit sending a jolt of electricity in me. He cursed under his breath when he watched how i reacted.

"You take your eyes off the screen, I take my tongue off of your sweet little pussy." He pins me with a playful look.

"But that isn't fair." My voice wavers.

"It... is" between his words, he licks a thick strip with his tongue from my wet entrance to the sensitive apex with a torturous slow speed and my mind staggers in response.

With hooded eyes I watch his beautiful lips curve up in a smirk as if he can see through my poor soul, what effect that action had in my mind, clear as a sky and the sun of reasoning clouded in an instant.

Well, he will always know what effect he has on me. Also, the sight of his face- with that wicked gleam in his eyes- between my legs, I can't expect anything else.

And I lay in a frenzy no longer able to decide what's fair and what isn't, all I wanted was his tongue on me for a lot longer than it just was.

He tips his head towards the laptop silently commanding me to focus my eyes on it, knowing me very well that I won't argue anymore.

I do what he said. Now, all I can feel is his tongue lapping on the sensitive skin making my whole body shudder and moan under his spell. He pushes one finger inside me. Perfect pressure against my walls. The sensation runs through me like an electric current. Heighten every nerve ending on its way.

The power of a slowly building orgasm force my head to watch what he's doing to me and when I turn, his sharp eyes are already watching me like a hawk.

He stops.

He fucking stopped. All that I was just feeling ruined like a sand castle in a wind. A useless heap of sand was all that was left.

"Need another chance, baby?" he speaks up cheekily. I am mad. Annoyed. It probably shows on my face because he rasps out a laugh looking at me. I will keep this in mind when he is at my mercy.

"Yes."

Yes is all I can say. He resumes working on my pussy after I avert my eyes to the screen barely paying attention to the story. The tip of his tongue flicks on my swollen nub and my hands clutch on the cushion for my dear life. Head trying to stay put.

Soon he adds a second finger and then a third while sucking on my clit. Speeding up and edging me towards oblivion. My breathing is harsh, familiar feeling lingering at the base of my spine.

Long gone the soft moans, and screams of pleasure left my throat. My eyes flutter close on their own.

"Eyes on me now." His voice laced with pure lust and... Oh God, the contact of his heated gaze tips me off the edge. And I come. Hard. While chanting his name and whispering how good he makes me feel. Free falling into bliss.

"That's it. Good girl." He wisphers lowly with a strained voice. My body mourns the loss of his fingers. He looks at me and licks his fingers clean, tasting me. God, this man will be the death of me.

I pant, my chest falls and rises dramatically to catch my breath. It feels like I was drowning and I just made it to the surface.

He closes the laptop with a flip. I'm still in a trance when I hear the clank of his belt. I watch him settling between my legs, opening his button and zipper to free himself from the constraint. Pushing his pants slightly down. My fingers clutched his soft hair. My heart skips a couple of beats waiting and eager for him, banging on my ribs trying to leap out.

He placed the tip of his hard cock ready to be inside me but still not giving in, making me whimper. He kisses me, burning with desire, silent permission for carrying on what we started. He pauses to look me in the eye.

"How do you want me, hm? Gentle... or do you want me to fuck you hard?"

My breath got stuck somewhere in my lungs. Without breaking the trance of his gaze, I snake my hand down to hold his cock, pushing just the tip inside me. "Fuck me. Harder." I say, earning his amused-proud smile.

He sits upright and lifts my right leg to anchor it on his broad shoulder. He pushes inside me completely, inch by inch with a steady pace. It warms my heart that even if i gave him permission to be rough with me he knows It always takes me time to adjust to his sheer size. Both of us moan because of how fucking good it makes us feel. Bodies shuttering as he finally moves once i am ready.

This time he thrusts so hard it knocks the air out of my lungs. His hand trails up my stomach to my breasts, pinching my hard sensitive nipple making me cry out his name.

"Tell me, still think the things we do are boring?" He wraps his hand around my neck with a firm delicious pressure while the other one plays with my breast.

I shake my head unable to voice out coherent words. All I can do is float in the magic he creates. I reach out for him but he is a bit far. He slows down and frees my legs and guides my arms around his neck to be closer to me. He kisses me as if it has been days without it, picking up the pace where he left off.

He is still clothed. The picture of his clothed body over my naked one doing the most intimate things is erotic to me.

Though I want to touch him. Feel him. Closer than we already are. My hands fly toward the buttons of his shirt. Undoing each one of them until my hands find their home.

His muscles ripple and his body shudders when I drag my touch slowly to the south. Feeling every curve of his criminally toned body, finally reaching his ass to feel the intensity of his thrusts. He groans out a curse.

"See what you fucking do to me? You make me so impatient, can't even wait to undress before I fuck my wife's tight pussy."

He slams inside me with immense force. I sob hearing him say these things with such ease. No holding back. His dark side resurface with teasing words laced with sin itself, pouring out of his smart intellectual mouth. It always leaves me in awe.

"Namjoon..." I can't recognize my voice as I moan his name breathlessly.

"I'm so– so close, please." Tears leave my eyes as the plea leaves my lips. His thrusts become more rough and harder. His fingers reach my clit. Firm strokes and overstimulation finally cracks through me. i surrender to the climax for the second time this evening. I lost my count for the day as our morning started early today.

"I've got you. I've always got you, baby."

My walls squeeze him tight. He grunts with every jerk. With a louder moan he finishes and empties himself inside me. I love watching him loose control, how his beautiful face twists while he gives in to the pleasure. The way his heavy breaths fall on my skin. It makes my heart swell to watch him like that. A sheen of sweat makes him sparkle. Both our bodies limp as the energy drains out along with our shattering orgasms.

He pulls out and lays beside me. He grabs a tissue and gently cleans up the hot mess we made. He always insists on doing that even after my half hearted protests.

Securing his strong arms around me he brings me closer to his heaving chest. "Tired?" He asks in a whisper while kissing lightly on my shoulder.

I weekly nod to answer. "Really? I was thinking of another round," he says and we laugh wrapped into each other, both knowing that none of us barely have the energy left to move.

"Enough orgasms for today, Mr. Kim." I mumble. I turn towards him to hug him properly. The back rubs, his breathing and the beats of his heart makes my body relax without any effort.

"So how was your birthday?" his chest vibrates with his question.

I place a kiss on his heart and with a satisfied smile I answer, "The best I ever had."

• Author's note

~ Written by @covertlydark

Hope you like it. Do tell me in the comments if this gave you butterflies lol... or you know somthin' close to it. <3

#kpop #fanfic #bts imagines #bts army #bts rm #bts smut #bangtan #kim namjoon #bts fic

61 notes · View notes

bbanghiitomi · 9 months

Text

| heartache on the big screen

synopsis: danielle wants you to ask her out on an ice cream date, you're not sure if danielle really did say she wants an ice cream date.

— idol!actress!mdanielle × actress!fem!reader

(⁠っ⁠.⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)⁠っ(⁠っ⁠.⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)⁠っ(⁠っ⁠.⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)⁠っ(⁠っ⁠.⁠❛⁠

you shift on your chair as you hold the script for the scene you are supposed to be acting with danielle, you don't know whether it's the lack of sleep or the amount of caffeine intake you had for this day but, you're feeling a lot more skittish today than yesterday. you're not usually this nervous, anxious? you don't really know, but your fingers feel prickly, they're trembling under the cold surface of the paper under your palm.

everything's going to be okay, you tell yourself. you were a lot earlier today, usually you start by 6am, but you were already present by 5am — which is 1 hour earlier yet no one came to question you, they liked that about you. your eyes scan the lines of words written on the soft surface of the paper, in black ink — you trace over the things you need to memorize.

you tell yourself it's going to be alright, you've memorized everything and there's nothing to be afraid of, because hey — you're just working with danielle marsh, right? that's no biggie… she's just one of the members of the trendiest group today, right? she's just a girl, a girl whose voice is as clear as a clean river, as smooth as a quantum stabilized atom mirror… woah, okay? where did you even get that?

ugh, okay — back to what you were thinking, danielle's just an average girl, well yeah she's talented and nice, kind and understanding, her eyes sparkle brighter than the stars in this universe, enough to compete with other stars from other galaxies. her smile is genuine, pure like puppies — and… uhm, what else?

her hair! it's waves are like a sea that's filled with life, the curves that curl and the silk strands of brown and black.

oh shit! your stomach churned, oh now you've done it.

you're officially a lot more anxious than before.

maybe thinking about your gorgeous partner isn't such a good idea, carving her beautiful face, her pure smile inside your brain is not the remedy you were looking for.

right, danielle is everything but average.

she's a lot more than that.

she's so special that someone like you, who's known for her acting skills and professionalism, cannot contain the fear of messing up in front of her.

and add the fact that everyone likes her, like — everyone! no exaggeration, everyone who she walks past to, everyone who she once talked to, all end up liking her, loving her even! she's just so likable you can't bring yourself to get mad at yourself for being one of those people.

it's been a week since you started working with danielle, she's been great as always, too good even, you just can't help but feel bad you aren't able to give the same energy to her, she's always gone and busy so it's often hard for her to have a free schedule. when your fans sent you a truck once, you didn't hesitate to offer her an ice cream, to which she accepted with a bright smile on her face, even thanking you.

you don't know where that confidence went, but that was the first day of the job, of course you were confident!

maybe it just faltered when you realized how amazing danielle truly is...

she's so spontaneous, unpredictable, and happy! always happy and positive, you can't help but force yourself to always match her energy.

and today is the day where you see her again after she's been gone from tour, her lollapalooza performance to be exact, you saw that, you watched of course even if it was only through a screen because you were also as busy as she was.

and as always, she did great, giving her best to match everyone's energy, making everyone's presence worth the time and effort to get there.

god, that's what you really like about her — she tends to put a lot of effort in everything, even if it gets too much.

"hey kid, want some coffee?" a crew member approaches you and places a cup of coffee on the small table beside you, you smile at him and bob your head. "thank you for your hard-work." you state, folding the paper and placing it on your lap. you wanted to decline the coffee but you really needed it.

the crew member shakes his head and chuckles. "ah that's nothing, you look torn apart and tired, you're probably overworked." he says and you can't help but agree. you can't complain though, you don't want to because you chose this job and this really makes you happy but, the stress that comes from the schedules that's cramped in your calendar is getting to you now. it's probably not just this blooming feeling you're having for a certain girl, but also the repeating days of non-stop work that's getting you skittish.

you sigh. "this is just a part of my job." the crew member laughs, brings a hand on your head and pats you gently. "there, there kid. after this day make sure you get a long nap, like an 11 hour nap." you laugh at him and you nod your head. "yeah, maybe i should." you feel the man take his hand off of your head and see him turn his head to the trailer to see danielle greeting everyone.

"oh, here comes the princess." by the mention of the princess you already know who it was. you turn your head to see danielle walking past people — the film crew members, and the racks of clothes, waving to everyone she sees. your eyes lock with her figure, watching every step she takes, the way her hair bounces and the smile she flashes everyone. your eyes squint, furrowing your brows as you focus your sight on the woman approaching you.

oh no, your stomach drops. it's like you're having a stomachache, but it's not the type you usually get, it's weird and it's like twisting your stomach and something inside is tickling every corner. you're so nervous that every part of your body feels like twisting into a pretzel. you tilt your head to crack a bone in your muscle, before standing up and trying to gather the courage to walk up to her.

but before you can even have the first step she's already walking to your way. "hey y/n!" she greets you with the brightest smile you have ever seen someone could possibly do, your eyes turn crescents as you return the smile but with less brightness on them.

"hey, good morning." you speak, your voice is kind of raspy from feeling worn out since yesterday. danielle notices your tired figure and looks at you with worry. "are you okay?" she asks, you raise your eyebrows at her and nod. "oh yeah, i'm alright. thanks for asking." you slump your shoulders and blow a heavy breath through your nose before continuing.

"how about you?" you add, looking at her. she smiles at the question and lets out an airy laugh.

"ah, i'm well, a bit tired from the never-ending schedules but i'm still on fire!" she raises her fist with a grin on her face, you nod at her enthusiasm and laugh. "that's good, i saw your performance in lollapalooza through a livestream and you all did so well. i wish i was there to see it live." you see her eyes glimmer under the now blue skies. she puts a hand on her face, just to check her temperature. "oh really?" oh yeah, her face is abnormally warmer than it usually is, danielle doesn't know why but it's a good kind of warmth.

you nod for her satisfaction. "even though you're working for almost 10-15 hours, you're still full of energy. going from place to place, still you show up on time." your heart beats faster, it's probably the caffeine, you wish it was the caffeine, if it were anything but the caffeine then you're probably doomed.

danielle giggled, her voice entering your ears like a melody of a fine tune — oh no, you're pressured, anxious? nervous? scared? err, you don't know, your body is feeling feverish, hot? warm? uhm, something like a lava, of course it's hot! duh…

your hand reaches for the cup of coffee and you drink, letting the now room temperature coffee run through your throat.

"i enjoy this, i love doing a lot! and through this i can show everyone that i'm thankful for their efforts, or for taking good care of me. i'm no expert in everything so i just want to repay everyone for looking out for me." ugh, danielle is sickeningly sweet. it's like her words subsides the bitter taste of coffee from your tongue and replaces it with a fruity and sweet taste.

"that's why i admire you idols, you all went from advertising, to singing, dancing, then broadcasting and you… you act too. must be tiring, i hope you're not pushing yourself too much, yeah?" you rotate the cup in your hand, eyes darting to every corner of the cup, trying to avoid danielle's gazes from time to time. danielle could not help but smile wider, her cheeks tinted with rosy pink — the tips of her ears are igniting. "we all work hard, that's why everyone deserves rest. not just me, not just you, but everyone!" danielle kind of hugs herself, arms wrapping on her own figure.

her bag dangles on her shoulder, you flash her a smile and nod, letting go of the cup. "i like your mindset. let's work hard together."

that made danielle feel her heart thump violently inside her chest, it's like threatening to jump off and run towards you, it's such a peculiar feeling that only she gets when she's performing but it's more powerful when she's around you, when there's no loud music behind her, without the cheering of her fans. it's much more evident when only your presence is around. your eyes lock with hers, you almost saw the whole universe in her pupils and then your own reflection.

danielle inhales then exhales. "yes! let's do our best!" as she was about to turn around, she immediately faces you once again and smiles, raising her shoulders. "i'm free later by the way!" she says, dropping her shoulder before leaving to enter one of the film trailer trucks.

you stand there as you puff your chest and immediately deflating it as you let her words pass from the other ear to the other.

okay, now you're thankful that you were doing better than before — your skin isn't as sensitive as it was earlier, your fingers aren't trembling anymore and your face isn't as pale as it was before you saw danielle. rehearsing your lines you are close to perfection, wanting to make sure you deliver the lines the way it was intended.

you can't help but divert your eyes to the beauty from the other side, you watch as danielle rehearses her own lines and couldn't help but smile at how much of a hard-working girl she is.

"is everyone ready? okay! in the count of three… one… two… three… action!"

you look at danielle as you stand in the middle of the spotlight, after gathering all the courage in the world, you open your lips to speak. it's kind of windy today, the day carries winds that travel through strands of danielle's hair, she moves it aside with her dainty fingers. the sky is a shade of a bright blue, with clouds looking soft as a handful of cotton. as you speak, you feel your throat parched, speaking the lines you memorized — trying to fit your emotions with the words that come out of your mouth.

it's almost like you aren't really there, you're doing great really — but your mind focuses on the girl in front of you rather than yourself, she looks… amazing? yeah, but there's something about her now that keeps you grounded. her eyelashes look as amazing as always, and as you speak your breath slowly gets taken away, you don't know whether it's you speaking for a long time that your saliva dried out or it's the sight in front of you that stole your heart away.

danielle swallows a lump in her throat getting herself ready to deliver her lines, but when she opens her mouth nothing comes out. she's a nervous-wreck, she doesn't know why it's so sudden but when her eyes met yours, she couldn't say anything.

her mind blacks out, but she's still standing. it's like her heart is thumping against her ears, her face is as hot as the sun, her palms are sweating and all she can do is chuckle before covering her lips. "oh are you okay?" you ask, everyone stops recording and looks out at danielle who looks up at you and shrugs. "uhm i don't know, my mind suddenly blanked out." you nod and reach out to touch her shoulder, patting it gently.

no one came to interfere, you look at her face to check if she's alright, her face is as red as a ripe tomato and it starts worrying you that maybe she's sick. "hey, are you sick?" your hand touches her forehead, she flinches and shakes her. "uh no! i don't know, i think i'm nervous?" she asks you, you nod and smile at her.

it made her feel a lot better, knowing you won't judge her or get mad, knowing it's just you! there's nothing to be afraid of, whether she makes a lot of mistakes, your friendly nature wouldn't dare to be mad at her. there's that part of her, she wants to do her best to return your efforts.

"maybe we can rest for a bit? so you can relax and then do it again." you let go of her forehead and raise your eyebrows in inquiry, your offer seems nice but danielle wouldn't want to waste everyone's time. "no! i'll take a few breaths and then let's get into it!" danielle rolls her fingers into fists and starts moving them back and forth.

you watch as she takes deep breaths and everyone watches too, you smile at her and did the same.

for a few minutes, it actually helped her, danielle manages to maintain her posture and then she jumps, before fixing her hair. "let's do it!"

after a few more shots, a few more cuts and re-do's, you were able to finish the scenes faster than before. you noticed the change in danielle's demeanor and couldn't help but admire her professionalism.

you lean on the chair you're sitting on and close your eyes, you breath in slowly as you relax your whole shoulders. it's not the most tiring day, you wanted to thank the gods above that you were able to kind of rest longer because the shooting ended earlier than usual, thanks to you and danielle's dedication.

danielle spots you not that far from her, she looks around and hops her way to you, you don't take notice of her presence as you stay still. danielle smiles at your peaceful face, the serene expression written all over your eyes and lips, the way your brows and cheeks relax. you hear her shoes dig on the rocky ground, your eyes open to see danielle, the sun behind her creating a shadow casting to you.

"oh hey danielle." you smile at her, it is currently the middle of the day, the sun is as bright as always. you sit up, and watch as danielle takes a seat beside you. "hey, we finished earlier today huh?" she crosses her legs and leans closer, you nod and turn around to face her. "yeah, i think i like it this way. we get to rest even for a short amount of time." after you said those words, there was silence, a growing one as seconds passed by.

danielle taps her lap and looks around before back at you, whose eyes are set to the scenery displayed in front of her. it didn't take too long for danielle to start speaking once again to break the awkward silence between her and you.

"this seems like a good day for some ice cream, don't you think so..?" danielle says, her shoulder blades rise up and then fall as she exhales. you turn your head to look at her and then to the scorching heat of the sun. "yeah," a sweat forms on your forehead as you squint your eyes.

danielle looks at her lap, the surrounding once again gets engulfed by silence.

you think about what to do, or what to say, there's really not much, the situation is kind of awkward, with how the way things work out there's really nothing left for you to choose — it's either you leave or let things stay this way.

but it's quite rude for you to leave her alone, not when she walked all the way to you. plus, there must be some kind of thing you can think of to get danielle comfortable with you.

danielle watches your uneasy expression, eyes darting at your face, then to your fingers that you're fiddling. her heart thumps inside her ribcage, like a prisoner slamming the gates of a cell to escape. maybe it's the sun or the companion she has with her? danielle is feeling a little out of place, her face is hot and her cheeks are a different shades of red.

yeah, maybe you're not planning to ask her out on an ice cream date. she told you she's free today, for that exact reason — because she wants you to take her out to get ice cream.

maybe you just have different plans, it's not like she asked you if you were free today.

ice cream… huh? your slow brain catches up, finally you got the hint! you look at danielle, who stands up, about to leave but then you raise your hand to get the girl's attention. danielle looks down at you, her gaze lace with confusion. you stand up and smile at her, before comically rubbing your palms together.

"let's go get ice cream together!" you tell her, as you stop rubbing your hands and look up at her with a smile.

danielle cannot help the growing smile on her lips as she nods enthusiastically. "yes! let's go!" she reaches for your hand and takes you away from the filming set.

you watch her hair flow gracefully as the sunny wind hits you both, you catch up to her fast steps, almost stumbling as you do so. danielle giggles as she runs. it's like music to your ears, hearing how happy she is makes you happy too, it's like second hand happiness. danielle's smile is contagious like a virus, but instead of one that kills, it's a virus that spreads positivity to anyone who gets near that smile of hers.

you couldn't help but laugh too, hand tightly holding hers, you intertwine your fingers with her dainty ones as you fasten your steps and catch up to run beside her. you look at her side-profile from time to time, her smile doesn't fade even as the both of you continue to run, run away from everyone.

it doesn't even tire her, that you've been running with her for almost a kilometer until you both are in a park. she spots an ice cream truck and immediately points it out. "there!" danielle leads you with excitement oozing out of her.

you nod and let her take you to wherever.

there's no heartache here, it's just that you start to realize that it's not a feeling of anxiety, fear or anything negative when you think of danielle, it's a bunch of unfamiliar emotions mixed into one that all point to your obvious developing feelings for your co-worker.

the girl whose only role in your life is to be your co-actress, carves her way into your heart and imprints a permanent position, digs a space inside your heart. the heart you thought was once complete, finds another way to give danielle a space to scoot inside and embrace you.

you don't know if that's a bad thing or not, if it's going to last — though you hope it does.

maybe, falling in love isn't such a bad thing.

when danielle runs, it's like every part of the floor that danielle steps in blooms with flowers, then becomes a flower path for you to take behind her. the sky that burns in heat becomes bearable when you stand right beside her, the air becomes a fresh breeze when you breathe it in with her.

falling in love is like a complicated puzzle, an exam with no erasures, no alliterations, no corrections, right minus wrong —

it's confusing and hard but when you get everything right, it rewards you with the best feeling ever.

#female reader #kpop #kpop imagines #newjeans imagines #newjeans #danielle #girl group #danielle marsh #girlgroup imagines #newjeans danielle

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mauvecherie-writes · 1 year

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Roses Can Be Pink.

pairing: Rue Bennett x Black FOC!Monique.

Euphoria AU.

summary: parties can be fun with the right person.

tags: 18+ MINORS DNI, smut, wlw, euphoria AU, rue is over 21, rue is in recovery, instant connections, fingering, oral sex, mention of toys.

notes: this is the first time I’ve written queer content in a long, long time so when I say I’m RUSTY, I mean it! This one is dedicated to my best girl @melodicheauxxo I love you and I hope you love it!

word count: 1.8K

tip jar 💕 taglist 💕

“Aren’t you glad you came to the party? You’re having fun aren’t you.” Your friend, Sammie

gloats as she hands you a glass of wine spritz. You roll your eyes trying to refuse a smile from spreading across your face. You gently shrug your shoulders before bringing your glass close to your mouth.

“It’s aight, don’t get too big headed. I could leave any time to go enjoy Bob’s Burgers.” You say before taking a sip of your drink, the cool liquid soothing your throat. She rolls her eyes before linking her arm with yours and pulling you the rest of the people away from the kitchen.

It was more of a kickback than an outright party with some old college buddies. It’s been over a year since graduating from film school and you have been working in the industry since, doing what you love and you met most of the people here through college except for your best friend - who was currently dragging you to meet some new people.

Entering the room, there’s a few people already inside with an anime you’re unfamiliar with playing on the tv as they huddled close as they played UNO.

“Hey guys!” Sammie breaks their concentration and brings it to you guys as you stand underneath the door frame. There’s one person who immediately draws your attention though. Their honey brown curls unruly but they fall perfectly around her face and rest on her shoulders. Her eyes trail down your body as she leans back into the couch. They come back to your face and a smile is hidden behind her cup as you bashfully break eye contact and squirm beside Sammie.

“This is my best friend Monique! She finally left her house and grace us with her presence.”

“I’m not that bad.” You nudge her shoulder. “I’ve been busy.” You defend yourself with a smile and a roll of your eyes - a habit you happen to always do around her. You love Sammie and it’s not like you were avoiding her on purpose but her parties (parties in general) always overwhelm you so typically just stay away from them.

“Whatever!” She replies before she smiles, taking your hand and sitting you close to the woman you had been eyeing up. The warmth of your blush still tainting your cheeks. You’re a little tense but you take in her soft yet musky scent as you try to lean back into the couch.

“Please keep my friend entertained and comfortable. I’ll be back for her later.” Sammie winked at you before leaving you with the small group. You’re not a shy person so the introductions are swift and quick but the lady sitting beside you is causing your nervousness to spike which isn’t normal.

What’s worse, you think she can notice the affect she’s having on you.

“I’m Rue.” Her voice is soft and melodious. It’s kind of low in pitch but it suits her perfectly. You scold yourself for thinking too much about how her voice sounds but you can’t help it but the instant attraction is wrecking you.

“Nice to meet you.” You shake her hand that was in front of her. Like her voice, her skin is so soft, her fingers are long and slender but her nails are neatly trimmed, painted black. Absentmindedly you lick your lips thinking about her fingers and god you’re such a creep, you’ve just met her and your mind is already going there.

Fortunately the rest of the night, things go really well. The conversation flows so naturally between the two of you that you couldn’t believe you’ve only met today. She’s a friend of Maddy’s who works with Sammie and have been since childhood really and in not so many words, she had let you know that she wasn’t much of a drinker anymore due to previous substance issues from her past. She had been sipping on cranberry and blackberry juice all night as to not draw attention to herself. People were nosy and if they saw her drinking from a red solo cup, she knew no one was going to ask questions.

At some point of the night, you decide to give Rue a tour of your friend’s house finally reaching the guest room that’s your designated room wherever you slept over.

“So what made you choose film?” Rue asks you as you guys had settled on the floor, rolling a ball to each other as the muffled music from the party filtered into your room.

“I love the arts you know? I live for them. They’ve changed and influenced my life and I just felt like I want to be a part of that you know? Like being a part of something that influence change and be positive in someone’s life is a great deal.” As you speak so passionately you could feel her eyes on you which doesn’t stop the feelings she’s enticing within you. It was so strange to get such a visceral reaction to Rue and for the most part, the last few hours have been heavenly.

“Why are you staring at me.” You whisper. You chew on your bottom lip as you let your body fall to one side.

“I like watching you talk.” Rue answers candidly. “You become really animated and there’s this glow to you that makes you more attractive than I already think you are.”

You hold onto your cheeks as your shoulders pull up bashfully.

“Don’t get shy on me.” Rue licks her lips as she pulls your hands away from your face. You still turn your head away from her but with her fingers, she directs your gaze back onto hers. Rue’s eyes are sparkling in the dark as you bear into each other’s souls. The connection that you’re feeling towards her could not be denied.

“Do you feel that?” She asks as she intertwines your fingers with hers, pulling you closer to her body. You shift your bodies so that your legs are overlapping each other and the warmth of your core is radiating onto her thigh.

“Yeah.” You whisper. “I thought I was going a little crazy but I feel so … good around you, it’s insane.” Rue chuckles at your response as she cups your chubby cheeks and rubs your skin with the pad of her thumbs.

“Can I kiss you Monique? I really, really want to kiss you.”

“Yes. Please.” You breathe out before you can utter something else, her lips are on yours. Your stomach erupts in a fever of flatters, nervousness swimming in your veins as your eyes close as your softly kiss her back. However, as the kiss deepens, the lesser you were nervous and enjoyed the kiss. Slow and passionate, in no rush whatsoever and it makes you feel desired. Your hands trail down from the back of her neck to her waist and you pull on her tighter, wanting to feel more of her.

Her tongue swirls around yours which sends a shiver down your spine and your cunt clenches around nothing as your arousal sparks your body into a frenzy of need, a need Rue easily picks up on.

“Lay down.” She whispers to you and you follow the instruction without hesitation. Rue brings your legs to your waist, caressing your thighs as she hovers above you.

“Can I go on?” She asks and you inaudibly nod your head. You’re quiet as she strips your trousers and panties away from your body. “Fuck. I knew your pussy would be so beautiful.” She rasps as her hands travel back up your thighs and her thumbs part your heated core. A shiver runs down your spine as your cunt aches, you wanted more, you anticipate the next move. Rue slides the straps of your cami top down until your breasts are exposed.

Her long fingers tease and pinch your nipples which causes you to squirm. Begging for attention, Rue leans forward and wraps her lips around your areola and shoves two fingers into your cunt. Your gasp at the intrusion is loud but you welcome her finger nonetheless.

“You’re so tight.” Rue mumbles against your chest as you whimper and roll your hips. Her fingers move a bit faster, the sound of your wetness beginning to echo within the confines of your room. Your self control was slowly beginning to slip as Rue fucks you nice and hard with her fingers to the point of orgasm.

“What!-.” You exclaim as Rue suddenly withdraw her fingers from your pussy.

“I need to taste you.” She whispers before she brings her drenched fingers to her mouth. Rue sucks on her digits feverishly which turns you even more. She drops her fingers away from her mouth before she quickly shifts so that her face is hovering closer to your pussy. You try and look down at Rue but with her fingers tracing the opening of your pussy, your head falls back and your eyes close shut.

“Rue, I need you. Please.” You beg.

“Don’t worry baby, I got you.” With that, she wraps her lips around your clit which causes a loud moan to ring out from you. Her tongue is warm as she laps at your cunt.

It had been a while for you but the way Rue was making you feel, wreaked your brain but you didn’t focus on it too much as you ride her face with abandon. She’s eating you so good and you were losing your breath trying to keep up with her pace. Rue rolls her tongue around your clit over and over again before pushing her fingers back into your pussy and stroking your g-spot with hoe she curled her digits.

“Oh shit! I’m gonna cum!” Your hips are rolling to the pace of her fingers thrusting in and out of you. You fear suffocating her but your high is creeping near as you focus on your orgasm. A third finger is introduced which causes you to cry out even louder. You’re desperate now and you can’t stop yourself as you use her to reach your climax. The stretch of her fingers deepen your cunt and her tongue on your clit is sending you into overdrive.

Your release slams against you full force and your thighs threaten to close around her head but Rue keeps them from collapsing around her head by pressing one of your thighs down with her arm. She doesn’t pull away from you as she continues to lick you clean.

Your body trembles with aftershocks of pleasure as Rue finally moves away from your pussy and trails her lips back up your body. She captures your mouth and you moan softly tasting yourself on her lips. The kiss moves slow and sweet with your tongues clashing against each other as your core begs for more.

“You got any toys I can use on you in here?” Rue asks you which causes your cheeks to warm in slight embarrassment.

“Yeah.” You admit.

“Bring them out, I’m not done with you just yet.” Rue whispers. “Want to explore every part of you.”

@dhlfastestlap @queenshikongo3 @kindan3rdy951 @ricciardosheart @lewiscrown @sarah-ev @mercedesjpg @playgurlxoxo @scorpiobleue @leilaxaliel @amorestevens @nomnombibblenibble @honey-prinxess @ohkapten @aisharmi @bahatibloom @chaneajoyyy @melodicheauxxo @olyvoyl @paradisehamilton @lewisthot @mimihopie @blowmymbackout @write-fromthe-start

#mauvecherie writes #roses can be pink fic #rue bennett #rue bennett x black reader #rue Bennett x black original character #rue bennett fanfiction #rue bennett fanfic #rue bennett smut #euphoria fanfic #euphoria fanfiction #black original character #zendaya #zenday coleman #woman loving woman #queer fiction

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whaleofatjme1920 · 7 months

Text

Kinktober Day 14: Totally Normal Smut Fic

The wattpad Creepypasta x reader

Warnings IT S A LIME NOT A LEMON YOU BAKA >///< seriously there's nothing bad in here

AN: what's kinktober if I don't send you people into whiplash at least once? Don't take this seriously, but bc it is a kinktober fic, MINORS GET OUT. Wattpad style fic, purposely written bad. Junk food for you. ALSO ALSO Sorry this is late I was out. Saw the exorcist: the believer. Then drove around all day it was great.

Kinktober Masterlist if you're into that. MINORS GET OUT

Reblogs are appreciated!

Waking up you tied your hair into a big messy bun. You get up and dress in all black because what else would you be wearing? Pink? That's gross and the pastas dont like pink. (except for sally but shes so cute its ok). After checking over yourself in the mirror you decide to head downstairs and meet the pastas for breakfast.

No one is at the table. It's empty except for Masky. He's sitting there with a plate of (cheesecake XD) waffles and pouring some syrup on. He has that same mask with the feminine features and pats the seat next to him. "Hey (Y/N)" he says.

You wave as you sit next to him. You've always had a slight crush on Masky but you've never seen his face. He's usually so secretive and shy! You sit next to him and feel blush on your pale cheeks.

"Are you ok?" Masky asks as he slides you a plate of waffles.

You nod shyly and brush your hair out of your face. Your (E/C) orbs flutter anxiously as you wonder if you should really ask him the question. "H-Hey Masky??" You ask as you stutter.

He looks at you. "Yeah?"

"Do you wanna hang out later today? In my room..? Not like that though you baka," you manage to stutter out as a pink blush covers your pale cheeks.

Masky nods. "Ok, sounds like fun." He smiles.

~ LE TIME SKIP ~

You now sit in your room with Masky and sit on the bed. Like really close to him. Your face is BRIGHT RED as you sit next to him and netflix and chill (NOT LIKE THAT).

Masky looks at you and smiles from behind his mask. "You ok? You look nervous (Y/N)" he says.

You nod shyly. "Yeah I'm ok." You want to hold hands with him and maybe kiss him! Sally says you would be cute together. Masky's blue orbs look at you.

It's like he's reading your mind. "Ok, (Y/N), don't laugh" he starts as he reaches up to untie his mask. Masky slowly reaches up and unties the strings. They fall and he shyly shows you his face. He's handsome. He has brown sideburns and his eyes are so blue you want to melt.

"Oh my god" you whisper as you look at him.

"W-W-What? Am I not g-good enough?" Masky asks. He's so shy and silly.

You shake your head, your (H/C) hair bouncing and swishing. "N-No! You're super cute," you say. "Can we... Can we kiss??" You feel so shy saying it but Masky smiles. Both of you are blushing bright red. He holds your hands in his and chuckles when you blush even more. You're like a tomato!

His lips meet yours and you blush even more. Your heart pounds as he kisses you. His arms eventually wrap around you and he grins playfully. Masky doesn't seem to shy anymore. "You're even better than cheesecake" Masky says as he puts you on his lap.

Your eyes go wide like dinner plates. "M-Masky" you whisper as his hands rest on your curvy hips. "Are... Are we gonna just kiss..??" You ask shyly.

Masky nods and then winks at you "I wanna do so much more than just kissing." He kisses you some more.

You blush again. "We're gonna really do it?"

Masky reaches around in his tan coat and pulls out a condom. "Oh yeah~" he purrs.

#minors dni #crackfic #as you can tell I'm not a fan of calling them 'pastas'#creepypasta x reader #masky #creepypasta meme

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the-conversation-pod · 9 months

Text

Adult Swim

We originally planned to talk about Step by Step during Work, Bitch, and Nini hadn't planned to watch La Pluie until the fall. However, because all of us refused to give up on La Pluie, Nini joined us around episode 8. Both of these shows inspired more writing than we've seen since the heyday of Bad Buddy or I Told Sunset About You. Surface-level engagement was all-but-impossible with either of these shows, and honestly wrung us out more than we were expecting.

It's time for the kids to get out of the pool for the grown folks to talk as Ben and Nini open their third eyes and discuss Step by Step and La Pluie.

Listen on Apple Podcasts!

Listen on Google Podcasts!

Timestamps

The timestamps will now correspond to chapters on Spotify for easier navigation.

0:00 - Welcome 1:15 - Intro 2:08 - Step by Step 4:40 - Step by Step: A Moment of Simping 8:40 - Step by Step: Big Themes 16:52 - Step by Step: The Romance 25:45 - Step by Step: Story Execution 50:25 - Step by Step: Where are we on Tee Bundit? 53:10 - La Pluie 57:50 - La Pluie: The Soulmate Myth 1:08:22 - La Pluie: Lomfon is Rude! 1:13:30 - La Pluie: Tai Also Deserves Some Smoke 1:18:26 - La Pluie: Tai’s Dad Read as Queer 1:20:48 - La Pluie: The Romance 1:32:06 - La Pluie: Depiction of Male Anger 1:35:50 - La Pluie: Treatment of Nara 1:40:47 - La Pluie: The Side Characters 1:44:02 - La Pluie: Sequel Potential 1:46:01 - Outro

The Conversation: Now With Transcripts!

We received an accessibility request to include transcripts for the podcast. We are working with @ginnymoonbeam on providing the transcripts and @lurkingshan as an editor and proofreader.

We will endeavor to make the transcripts available when the episodes launch, and it is our goal to make them available for past episodes. When transcripts are available, we will attach them to the episode post (like this one) and put the transcript behind a Read More cut to cut down on scrolling.

Please send our volunteers your thanks!

0:00 - Welcome

Nini

Hello, hello! Your QL fandom aunty and uncle are here with giant sunglasses, brown liquor in a flask, a folded five-dollar bill to slip into your hand when no one is looking, lukewarm takes, occasional rides on the discourse, deep dives into artistry and the industry.

Ben

Lots of simping! I’m Ben.

Nini

I’m Nini.

Ben

And this is The Conversation. About once a season, we plan to swan in and shoot the shit on faves, flops, and trends that we’ve been noticing in the BL, GL, or QL Industry. Between seasons, you can find us typing way too many words on Tumblr.

1:15 - Intro

Nini

Hey Ben, what are we talking about tonight?

Ben

Tonight it's time for Adult Swim. Kids: out of the pool! This season led to so much more writing and meta than we've seen in a really long time. There was so much to say about both of these shows that we ended up needing to move both of these shows out of separate episodes and just shove them into one.

Tonight we will be discussing Step by Step and La Pluie, and then we'll return with you all at the end with some final thoughts. Nini and I are bracing for this, because we have a lot to say to each other. [laughs]

Nini

This is gonna be round two of fight night apparently, not on everything but on some things. So you guys stay tuned and we'll see you at the end!

2:08 - Step by Step

Nini

Okay, Ben this time I got my eye black on for you. So let's talk Step by Step. Tell the people, what is Step by Step about?

Ben

Step by Step is a workplace drama that centers around a young man named Pat, who is maybe 25 — there was some confusion about that at the end?

Nini

Shade!

Ben

…who is returning to Thailand after completing some of his graduate studies, and is now working at a large corporation inside of an office tower. He is the low man on the totem pole in the sort of digital division of this corporation, and is having a very difficult time. Very early on, he has a kind of flirty interaction with the largest man who has ever existed in BL, and takes a shine to him, but is disappointed when he realizes he's his boss.

Pat eventually ends up in conflict with his new boss whose name is Jeng…slowly the two of them start to work better together. Jeng ends up putting Pat in charge of a BL advertising project in a mostly queer team, and over the course of the show there ends up becoming this huge misunderstanding between the two of them about whether or not they're on a romantic arc, as the show is also unpacking a lot of really huge themes about where queer people do or don't fit in corporate structures that are more than willing to profit off of them, as Pat and Jeng try to figure out what their relationship is supposed to be.

Nini

I think that was a very fair précis of the plot of Step by Step.

Ben

If you're listening to us and you've watched Step by Step, you may be familiar with the fact that…reactions to the last arc of this show were mixed, to put it mildly. Nini and I ended up falling on opposite sides of the fence on this one, so we have a lot to unpack.

4:40 - Step by Step: A Moment of Simping

Ben

I'm [gonna] let you have this part first: I want you to just go ahead and have your little fun before we get into the big stuff. We can begin with talking about Man Trisanu and how much you really enjoyed his performance.

Nini

His performance, yes, but before we get to his performance…I mean we say in the intro that there is lots of simping on this show, and I've been listening to our old episodes: we haven't simped nearly enough? So I'm just gonna do like a quick two minutes of absolute simping for Man Trisanu, because my god that man is large. That man is so large that for like the first three episodes, every time he came on screen, like my brain made like the boinga boinga boinga sound, like I could not actually focus [laughs] on what was happening — I had to watch episodes multiple times…

Ben

[laughs] She’s just posting awooga gifs in the chat all the time.

Nini

If I was the kind of person who would get embarrassed by this stuff I would have been embarrassed by the way I behaved. But I don't get embarrassed by this stuff, so I wasn't embarrassed by the way that I behaved looking at this man [laughs]...throughout, but especially in the first three episodes. I just kept staring at him. And then as we got like further and further into the show it was very clear that he's also a good actor, so I was invested in the character emotionally? But that also did not stop the fwarh noises in my brain. The man is large. And he's large and he's attractive. And he's large and he's attractive and he's talented. That's basically my kryptonite.

That doesn't mean that I cannot be fair about the show—there are things that I'm gonna say about the show that are not complimentary, even though in the end—I'm just like skipping to the part where I score it, I gave it a 9—there are problems with the show, do not get me wrong. But overall, I found it incredibly enjoyable. And I can't lie to you: Man Trisanu was part of why I found it enjoyable. Not just because he is large and attractive but also because he is quite a good actor. Okay, so I got my yah yahs out.

Ben

Solid 20% of the chat is just Nini going: “THAT MAN IS BIG!”

[both laugh]

Nini

He’s a biggun! [both laugh] At one point I definitely just sent a voice message that said “Timberrrrr!”

Ben

It’s like, it would be Tuesday and everybody's in the chat just, “Lorge.” [laughs]

Ben

In terms of simping, I really like Ben Bunyapol’s work in this one. Nini and I tend to fall on opposite sides of the fence when it comes to…the guys we're attracted to in these shows? Unsurprisingly, she was super into Man and all of his work; I really liked a lot of stuff Ben was doing, and I like Nini's commentary that Ben is definitely someone's problem, right now.

Nini

Oh my god, somebody is staring at the ceiling up at night, like, thinking about Ben Bunyapol because that boy is…I mean, not my style, but I can appreciate good lookin’, I can. That is somebody's problem.

Ben

I really like what he was playing with in this. I really—we'll get into this when we talk about the queer themes in this—I really like the specific type of queerness he portrayed in this. And I know that must have been really difficult to hold with everything else he was doing on the show.

Nini

I concur, he also showed some talent. There’s quite a few newbies in this cast, Ben and Man are both newbies, and you see a little bit of that, but mostly they, I think they acquitted themselves very well.

8:40 - Step by Step: Big Themes

Ben

Since we're disclosing our ratings early in this one: as you all know, Nini gives me a lot of shit on this show about how friendly I am to shows with my scoring? I gave this show a 7.5, because I think the problems in this show make it hard to recommend to people. And the more homework I feel like I have to give people, or pamphlets I have to hand out before they start watching, the harder it is for me to recommend.

However, there are a lot of things to talk about in the show I think are good. And I think because it's Tee Bundit, and we have to talk about how much the sort of…irritated version of queerness that he's carrying around in his work comes through in his stuff? Think we should start with the big themes, because that's what he clearly cared about the most. So Nini, as someone who is thrilled with this show: what are the big themes you think that Tee is going for this time?

Nini

I mean, Tee is a guy who, kind of hits on the same themes in most of his work? And the themes that he likes to hit on are around like, queerness and capitalism, or like around the monetization of queerness and sort of juxtaposing it against the way that queer people are just kind of suffocating under this fog of homophobia. So that's like one of the things that he definitely gets into in this show, like all his other shows.

Another thing that Tee is very into is playing with inside and outside, like perceptions of queer people and how queer people see themselves versus how the world sees them? I think that's a big thing. He loves a family dynamic where everybody knows but nobody says anything, that's another big theme that he's playing with in this. These are the things that show up over and over again in his work, that I tend to respond to. I find it really legible, so I quite enjoy it.

What about you? What kinds of themes did you pick up on?

Ben

The big ideas, like core statements that I can read from this is that: corporations are more than willing to profit off of queer people. They absolutely want to use our talents, our social skills, our managerial skills, and our relationships as well as our lives…to sell shit. But they don't actually want us, particularly in positions of leadership.

Another thing that comes through very clearly is that queer people cannot experience queer joy in environments that demand a very rigid form of conformity. And also, that everything that queer people want for themselves, including their joy, is not something you can have on the timeline of BL. It's going to take literally years for you to find your happiness. Which is so sad!

Nini

One of the things that I think we had discussed a little bit but didn't really delve into is that you feel a cynicism emanating off of Tee that you kind of don't like? I don't know if you wanted to get a little bit more into that, because we didn't really, like, discuss that too much.

Ben

Tee Bundit clearly—oh, there's a man I could simp for. [laughs] I think that man is very pretty, and I like how fucking angry he is all the time. [both laugh]

So, Tee is a director who has a really strong eye. Don't know that he's found an editor who works well with him yet. Or has found a really good screenwriting team to hang out with? But he has a really strong eye, and he very clearly hated being on the TharnType set. That comes through so loudly in Lovely Writer, and you can see that this has affected the way he looks at being an adult professional in so many ways.

Pat is so unhappy in this show. He's so stressed. And Jeng is also so unhappy, because he's so bottled up. It gets a little bit lost sometimes, how specifically pissed off Pat is about everything that's being thrown at him and expected of him. And you can feel that with Tee, that he has to…play to the proclivities of shipping culture, which he clearly despises.

Nini

He's made two shows about it now.

Ben

Quick aside about this, Tee leveled some I think fair criticism of BL as an industry, in that it is profiting off of the appearance of relationships of queer people, but they're all inherently fake, and they're meant to be fake. And apparently a certain set of fans did not agree or like that their ship was used as the example of this, and caused such a stink that they were forced to edit the episode and remove that commentary. And I don't know if this impacted later commentary that may have been in the show. I do not think it would have made the show more legible than it is? But Tee is just so irritated about the inescapability of heteronormativity in his professional life.

You see this for Pat, who doesn't allow himself to even perceive Jeng as someone he could be with, because of the age difference, the class difference, the work difference…and the way that they are queer is very different from each other. You see this with Chot, who seems to be an incredibly talented individual, but is not someone apparently considered for middle to upper management in any way? You've got this with Jaab where he's just like ‘yeah I'm not playing that. I got money, I'm gonna do whatever the hell I want.’

It's so frustrating, because in this show towards the end sequence where they ask Pat to come back for one more ride to try and save this stupid department. They assemble a little team together of queers or queer-friendly people and they end up using everyone's queer adjacent skills in some way shape or form to sell, like, fucking gas stations? [laughs] So they end up having Pat's formerly shitty superior write like, a BL story about looking for, like, a specific fucking juice at the fucking gas station, so that Jaab can very publicly run around on Facebook looking for Jen, the side character he's also pursuing. And then to help pimp this out, they ask Pat to call his ex, who he doesn't want to engage with on this, to help sell this shit—who was also forced to go back into the closet so that he could pretend to be gay with his BL co-star. Which is insane.

Nini

Like when you say it out loud it's like, the levels of bullshit, like Tee is very much about piling on the bullshit. And he's like doing it and pointing to the audience and saying, ‘Look at this! Ain't this some shit? This is the kind of shit that we gotta deal with on the regular!’

Ben

I'm not even done! The head of the company baited them by stripping their marketing budget because he knew his son would use his own money to save this: creating a division between the gays because of lack of loyalty and such. And so like, that comes through fairly loudly.

16:52 - Step by Step: The Romance

Ben

Part of where the struggle kicks in for me with this show is honestly with Pat and Jeng. Like, I have really strong positive feelings about Pat as a character, as an individual, and I have an incredible amount of feelings for Jeng as an individual—and I want to elaborate on those—but like Pat and Jeng as a unit, I feel, was super frustrating and really disappointing in this show, in a way that felt kind of pissy from Tee? Like I feel like…they don't feel satisfying on purpose. And that doesn't sit right with me, because of genre conventions and expectations.

I'll let you talk about Pat and Jeng, because I think you feel a lot better about them than I did.

Nini

Yeah, because I think I had different expectations. I definitely took in at the beginning, or before the beginning of the show, some of the stuff around the show where Tee was very clearly saying this isn't a romance. And as we sort of went through the show, I started to understand what he meant by saying that. I think Tee has a, like a complicated relationship with BL, that much is obvious, and I think in a way, the story that he wanted to tell here—he almost resented a little bit, having to use the romance to tell the story. And it, it shows up on a metatextual level in terms of some of the themes and some of the story points and plot points running throughout the show. He's like, can’t I just tell this story? Why do they have to, like, make out?

There is a tension there, there is a dissonance there. So it's not that I don't understand the problem that people had with it; I understand it entirely. But I was just vibin’. Because…I saw all of that as like, yeah, whatever Tee, like I see exactly what you're saying, but you also put this in here anyway, so I'm gonna enjoy the parts of this that you did put in here. That was my way of dealing with it, and that's why I really enjoyed it—because what he did put in there, for me, between Pat and Jeng? It resonated, because at first it was so much about ‘well this thing can't be and here are all the reasons that this thing can't be.’ It's clear that, like, Jeng is just falling deeper and deeper and deeper, and Pat is just like, I can't, I can't even hear that noise—to the point that he literally drowned the noise out in his own head. To the point where like Jeng actually had to tell him basically, ‘hi, I am actually hitting on you.’ And that, like, it came at the end of like a long tail because also Jeng's very aware that it's, like, an ethical minefield to be hitting on Pat because Pat works for him. So it's just like a swarm of things coming together, in a way that I personally enjoy?

And I, I’ll acknowledge that my enjoyment of this show is extremely personal to just the kind of bitch I am. I just like this kind of, like, dynamics? I like this kind of exceedingly complicated and, ‘this actually is kind of a gordian knot, but still, through that all, I feel the way I feel and you feel the way you feel, and if we could just like figure some of this other shit out—and we're gonna fuck up figuring this other shit out for a while—then it would be solid, it would be golden.’ But like I said, I can completely understand why people wouldn't rock with that. It's dissonant, it's incredibly dissonant, I’m fully aware of that. But I was vibin’. That's just how I feel about it.

Ben

My issue is that the show doesn't say that. And we have to take that as the acceptable read to move on. Like, all of the ideas about how corporate life is evil for queer people are loud themes exemplified through the characters. I was consistently frustrated with Tee in this particular outing, because important gay decisions happen off screen, and that pissed me off. So much of his idea is about how queer people don't get to make choices—and he doesn't show the queer people making the choices they can make.

Like for example, they get together and Pat and Jeng don't discuss what being at work is going to look like for them? Which was so irritating for me, because they don't really know each other? And like I'm totally fine with two bitches just being like, ‘let's just fuck about it for a little while and enjoy this ride while we go.’ But like, they don't say that! Like, we have to take that as meaning, and it irritates me, because he's not subtle about his other shit. It feels a little bit tacked on, because you're supposed to just understand this.

Like—I took that Jeng was broken. I wrote a whole fucking piece about it, about how broken Jeng was by being in the closet as he is, because he lives in a big ass closet. Like his closet was so big I didn't even realize it was a closet, I thought it was an exercise room. No, it's his fucking closet. He lives there, that's insane. But like Pat and Jeng get together, and they don't discuss what being at work is going to be like for them. We don't really see their romance function at all, and they don't give us a sense of the two of them functioning as a pair until the story is over? And that irritates me because what the fuck are they fighting for? Like Jeng is explicitly fighting for the idea of Pat, and Pat is explicitly frustrated that Jeng is trying to manipulate him into the version of Pat that Jeng would prefer him to be. And that is not really confronted in this show. I can't be happy about these two getting together because that particular tension point is just submerged. It isn't dealt with, it's just shoved out of the way. That would have been okay, ‘we're just going to bury this’ is an okay choice, but it's a choice that feels like it happened off screen.

It's frustrating because Pat's choice to break up with the MLM big tall, and his choice to break up with Put happen on screen. Pat processing his complicated post-breakup feelings with Put is executed beautifully on screen. We don't really get a functional version of Pat and Jeng on screen, and it irked me, but it low-key makes me sad, because what if Tee doesn't have enough to pull from in himself to do that properly? But he can handle, like, the painful shit and the breakup shit really well. Like that makes me sad for him…but, like, it irritates me as a viewer. If the desire to be a partner to Pat, and to change because Pat asked him to, is literally the driving force that moves Jeng through the plot—that is text—I hate that when he gets together with Pat, none of the talking about that occurs at all.

Nini

See I had a completely different reaction to that, because to me, from the time that all of that, like, wasn't happening, and then I saw the way that the plot was going, I was just like ‘oh it's a false start.’ That all makes sense to me, like the fact that Jeng spent all this time basically sweatin’ Pat, and finally, like okay, he gets somewhere, he doesn't want to confront the problems. He doesn't want to confront the problems, and Pat doesn't really want to confront the problems because Pat is just, ‘this man wants me, I want this man.’ Like, they don't talk about the issues. They get giddy on each other, they get high, nose wide open, and they don't want to confront the bad shit. So they don't talk about it. It's a false start. They don't talk about it, they don't talk about the fact that they don't really know each other, they don't talk about anything that matters…that to me tells me everything. There's a deep and intense infatuation happening there. And they're burying their heads in the sand about a lot. To me that's deliberate, and that's why it ends up falling apart. It works for me on a narrative level.

25:45 - Step by Step: Story Execution

Nini

I think part of the frustration as well—and I think here we're going to start getting into, like, some of the structural issues—because I said that I did have criticisms about this show. And one of the criticisms that I continuously had was that this show feels like it was edited by monkeys on crack cocaine. There is a lack of a certain amount of cohesiveness to the editing, that makes it hard to follow some of what's happening. Like you have to sit with it and like really train your brain and do one, two, three passes at it, to be like ‘oh yeah, that's what was happening, that's what was happening, that's what was happening.’ So I do take that criticism. I absolutely do take that criticism of the show and I agree with it. That the graph of the show, like the way that it was structured in terms of when the pivot point happens—because it happens almost towards the end—I can see where the frustration comes from, absolutely.

Ben

There's so much in this show that is interesting, but is delivered so haphazardly that you have to work for it. Like, the only useful read I got about the hets and their role in this, was to model what showing up and speaking out looks like versus what sitting on your hands and not saying something looks like. With Khanun and Beam, and their attraction to Ae—who has a baby in a hilariously inaccurate birthing scene…

Nini

[laughs] I’m sorry, you said the birthing scene and I had to crack up, like that was the most like, hand wavy like, ‘I'm a gay man, I don't know how these things work’—like ‘she had a baby, like make it like—do whatever you think having a baby looks like, it's fine, moving on’ [laughs]

Ben

She's pushing the baby! And everybody’s screaming! And POP! It's out! [laughs]

Nini

I don't know how the baby came out, because she was still wearing her pants. But eeehh, let's leave that to the side for now. [laughs]

Ben

I'm okay with that, because everything else was so silly, I get them just not wanting to ask Zorzo to take her pants off.

Nini

There's a thematic reason that Ae has her baby where she does, how she does, when she does, like there's a thematic and a narrative reason for that. But the scene itself is like one of the most cracked-out things I’ve ever seen in my life. [laughs]

Ben

That's the whole problem with the show, like there are good ideas here but like, I don't feel them. I hate that you have to think so hard to get to them. Normally I'm okay with subtext for these sort of things, but…you have to basically rebuild the moments that are occurring in the show so that you can think about stuff.

I ended up frustrated with Jeng by the end, because I feel like his arc peters out. Like there's a, a totally fine read on a lot of these things, but it is so…flat for me. It's fine for a show to make you play with the notion of disappointment? But the disappointment feels…petty, if that makes any sense? Like I don't think the disappointment is built into all the thematic structures. It's just built into the effect that the show wants to engender. It feels a little incongruous, and it's really irritating. I don't mind queer cinema making me feel negative emotions and walk out of a theater going ‘damn, bro.’ I just don't like the way this show is going for that, but also pretending that it's not, towards the end.

Nini

Okay, so here's a thing that we don't normally do, but I think would be useful for this show. So, let's fix it. Our mantra around here is generally: you meet the shows where they are. Right? But: is there a version of this show that you like, and what does that version of the show look like?

Ben

A big problem with this show is, they spend way too much time away from the Jian group office environment. The bubble of the Forge project goes on way too fucking long. The reveal in episode, like, 9? That Pat did not know Jeng was gay this whole time? Is really good, but needs to happen, at the very latest, by episode 8. Because it creates this huge compression effect on the back half of the show, that is so fucking irritating for me as a viewer. The Jeng crying and sad shit is great in episode—10, when that occurs? And like he and Pat get together in episode 11, but the gays need a solid ‘we're going to try to make this work’ episode. You have to put us in the interior of these two settling into each other. We need to understand what we have been yearning for for the whole show up to this point, so that we can understand what they're giving up when they've when they sever—it's romance, they gotta break up, you have to put the characters in a position where they have to figure out, ‘can I go back to the person I was and enjoy my life without this person in my life again?’ The answer is no, because this is fucking romance!—But we need to understand what the romance is and what they're going for.

And all of the development of Pat and Jeng as a couple, that we're supposed to be benefiting from in episode 11 when they're trying to save the stupid little BL project they're working on, feels completely unearned. Yes, I understand that the reason we're not getting payoff is because their relationship is fundamentally flawed as a false start—but it doesn't flag very effectively as one, because we aren't constantly seeing the misfires when they're trying to do stuff romantically together. We need to fully confront the fact that Jeng is brainwashed into thinking that work life integration can work for queer people. It cannot. And we don't get that. So like when they break up, the feeling is like, ‘good, because y'all needed to.’ And not in a satisfying way that another show might have done. We need to move all of the beats from the end of the show back a whole fucking episode.

Also, the decision for Pat to go off and start his own thing, take Chot and Ae, all happens off screen. This is a huge set of choices! Why is Chot running off to be with this twink? Like sure, he's playing fairy godmother in the whole show, but why does he choose to go with him? The audience is left to just figure that out. But so much of this show is about the difficult and complex choices that queer people have to make to survive in a corporate world that doesn't want us. So yes, we can infer that Chot was also frustrated with all this drama at work, and is more than willing to go work with the very talented, very successful little baby gay who showed up at his job, and go off and they gonna get this paper together. I get it. It's fine, it doesn't track as wrong for Chot to do that—but Chot's choice also matters in a show about how queer choice needs to be respected! And they don't show Chot making the choice. Like, the gay choices happening off screen are egregious to me. They need to be unpacked. If the show is about how our choices aren't respected, why aren't we showing the interior decision-making of the choices we're forced to make?

Nini

I'll definitely take your point about where the pivot point of the story happens. It's one of the critiques of this show that I completely agree with. The critical path of this show—like the throughline?—to me is so clear. What happens though, is that the critical path is sort of impacted by…like a bunch of these little side quests. Whether it is that the side quest is too present or too absent, the milestones are happening slightly off schedule. The way that it's sequenced works for me, but the way that things like lag behind or in front of each other are a little…squiffy. In terms of the way that the story is constructed, in terms of some of the things that you feel that you needed to see, or that would have made the story better to be able to see, rather than having to conjure up yourself…like, I get that, absolutely. I don't disagree with that, I think that is a valid and accurate critique of this show. I live in my head a lot [laughs] and so that didn't bother me enough to ding it, but I understand why it didn't work for you, and for a lot of other people.

I think it's just for me that…I was fine with getting pulled along by the story, because I was invested, particularly in Jeng. First they got me with Man being, you know, the size of a barn. And then I started actually paying attention, and they got me with Jeng's character. That's where the show, like, managed to string me along the entire way; I got a hook in, and I'm just like ‘okay, this is what I'm going with.’ But none of the things that you and everybody else is saying about the show are wrong. You're all correct. [laughs] You're all correct. I just…enjoyed it.

Ben

I think for me, both places where this show really broke, and where I really disconnected from this show, were in both of the kitchen scenes, which you loved. Like if we could point to two scenes where things break for me as an audience member? It's the speakeasy scene, kitchen scene—throwing food on the ground, kitchen scene—Pat reconciling with Jeng. It ends up becoming a failure point when Jeng resigns from his company—in his Canadian tuxedo —

Nini

Denim on denim y’all!

Ben

[laughs] And he says to his dad, ‘I have dreams.’ And I'm like, ‘girl, what are they? You ain't said shit for the last three goddamn episodes! What are they? Please sir, talk to the camera, I need to know.’ And like we can infer these things, we can project onto him. I can infer that the restaurant is what's important to him. I can infer that food security for the underprivileged is important to him. But for someone who's as plan-oriented as him, it feels a little weird, that this feels like a undercooked and underdeveloped idea for the character, that's just sort of simmering in the back and I'm like, ‘what, did we even put anything in the pot? Is that just water boiling?’

And so we get to these two kitchen sequences. Chot has chided Pat for not properly receiving someone's feelings, which is an idea that's been all over BL recently, that I'm totally into. Like you can reject people just fine, like you do not owe people any booty at all. But if someone tells you that you're important to them, you should at least acknowledge that they made themselves vulnerable to you, and acknowledge those feelings. Fine, good. Go buy a carrot cake and run to that man. But he goes to Jeng and tries to acknowledge his feelings and Jeng's like, ‘okay, we're together now’ and they make out, and I'm like ‘oh okay, sure, I guess? What? No!’

And this is when the not talking portion kicks in, and then Pat breaks up with Jeng, for what I believe are incredibly valid reasons of feeling like Jeng doesn't trust him or believe in him, because he makes choices for them without consulting Pat. And Pat feels like Jeng is always undercutting him, and Jaab makes a point about this in the final episode—when he doesn't talk to Jen at all? whatever—and says, ‘you kind of manipulated Pat the way Dad manipulated you.’ And I'm like, ‘that's a very, very specific idea, that makes a whole lot of sense, that we're just going to walk away from because this is the last episode—roll the fluff!’

So we get to the second kitchen scene, and I'm trying to accept the emotions of the scene? Of Pat just deciding that he's going to let go of the anger because he really likes Jeng, and he likes what the two of them had together, and he just kind of wants to let it work and figure it out together—the same way I Promised You the Moon ended. And I like that, but it doesn't land here for me? And I ended up really irritated about it. And this is where I get frustrated, like Jeng through episode…10, works for me, but the dead-eyed Jeng of episode 11 and the sad depressive Jeng of episode 12—it feels like he never comes back to life. Which may have been their point, but they went out of their way to try and make me feel like he and Pat are together and they're happy and everything's going to be okay now because they're together in the final episode. It feels unearned, and it feels like they didn't finish the goddamn mission! when it comes to Jeng.

Nini

And for me, it feels exactly the opposite, because those two kitchen scenes are very clearly paralleled, you're absolutely correct: in the first kitchen scene when they're first getting together, they don't talk about anything that's important, they just kind of roll past it. But in the second kitchen scene, they stop, they take a breath, Jeng says, ‘let's talk about this tomorrow.’ He's happy, yeah, but they make a deliberate point of not doing the same shit that they did before. They make a point of saying the things; they make a point of taking a beat; they make a point of taking their time; they make a point of actually talking to each other. And to me that's why it works. I mean it works, as well, for emotional reasons that are just pure, like, me engaging with romantic notions, reasons, and I'll fully admit to that. But to me the fact that those two scenes were so different was kind of the point? And I quite enjoyed that part.

Another problem with the show that I think makes it really not legible for people is the fact that you don't have any sense of the passage of time. Like you really have to work to figure out how much time has passed between any two events in the show.

Ben

And clearly we were on the wrong timeline from the show.

Nini

[laughs] I think they just made a mistake in the last episode. I did a lot of work on the show, but I enjoy that, so I was fine. The timeline is that the first 9 to 10 episodes happen over the course of roughly a year? And then episode 11 is very compressed. I think they do give us a chiron at one point, that you figure out it's like about three months maybe? And then the last episode, it spans years—not just including the time skip, but the actual episode itself.

Ben

It feels like somewhere between three to five years for sure.

Nini

Yeah, the last part of the episode, like maybe the last half hour, is like a series of vignettes? But it's just that the way that it's edited, it doesn't feel like a series of vignettes. It feels like scenes that are happening in sequence, which they're not.

Like I said, the editing of this show, monkeys on crack cocaine and ayahuasca, absolutely. Storyboarding, I'm not sure anybody did any?

I did a lot of work to enjoy the show. But I did enjoy it.

Ben

And I hate that. I hated the sides, like they weren't even in the final episode, they're like ‘yeah we don't care about them, get them the fuck out of here.’ No Khanun, no Jen, just get them out of here. We're gonna be here for an hour and forty two minutes, but the sides required literally zero closure to help stick the landing with the mains? Ugh, man.

Nini

They were there to reinforce thematic ideas, and they leaned way too hard into them as a narrative point when they weren't supposed to be narrative. So yes, completely agree with you, that was a mess.

It's not that I don't agree with you! We're saying that this is a fight night and I got my eye black on, but the reality is that I don't disagree with anything you're saying. It’s just that I was fine with doing that work, and you are not fine with doing that work because you think you shouldn't have to do that work, and that's…yeah, you're probably right about that.

Ben

I'm in the business of recommending things to people because I like enjoying things with people. I will not be showing this to Emily, because I have to explain too much along the way the whole fucking time. And like, I hate that! It shouldn't be this goddamn hard to enjoy the damn show.

I ended up comparing the dissonance around this show to, say, something like 2gether, which I think is remembered fondly because of pandemic stuff, and less because the show is good. Because everybody acknowledges that the show is a goddamn mess, but there's things that they take out of it, they say ‘I really like this.’ And that's how I feel about Step by Step. I loved everything that Man did in this; I think he played a 32 year old repressed gay man really well. But low key…I gotta be honest, I'm a little burned out on feeling a bunch of fucking feelings about sad rich gay boys? Like, the West is obsessed with sad rich gay boys and I am burnt the hell out on it. Like ‘oh no, he's sad, in his penthouse…’ who cares? [laughs]

Nini

I think for me as well, because I've been spending so much time with Turtles’s Asian family trauma lens, that I dug into that side of things, like a little deeply with my brain, and I was kind of enjoying kicking that around to myself as part of this.

Ben

And that’s the thing that sucks! Like Jeng, through episode 10, works so well for me. Like I absolutely loved what Man was doing with Jeng, how he was playing him, how Ben was playing Pat as kind of oblivious to it but unconsciously flirting with Jeng.

We didn't even talk about Up Poompot! Up Poompot was in this show and he whipped ass! Up was so good! Put was an incredible character. So Put is Pat's ex, who was not a great ex to him. This is very clearly a failed first romance on a lot of different levels. Put is ambitious, and he wants a lot more from his life than to just stay in the poor town the two of them grew up in, and he clearly didn't have Pat's skills to go to school…twice, study in America, and come back to Thailand as a highly trained marketing professional who can go into a corporate environment, and even with every goddamn employee in there working on his damn nerves still be the best person that they have on their team. Put doesn't have that: he's pretty and he's charming, and he's an actor. He has to go into BL, and so he can't have a boyfriend. Which is very fucked, that gay people cannot be out in BL. Insane. Put is an incredible character. He is simultaneously deeply unlikable and also incredibly sympathetic. Up is so good in this show.

And I think Ben, who has an incredibly internal character—who really could have benefited from a journal? So that we could hear his thoughts more often—also does a really good job playing someone who is barely keeping it together, and trying to restrain their quick temper. Ben does a good job as a fairly new actor dealing with some really complex internal things that have to be externalized, in a film tradition that leans towards bombastic. That's really difficult to do.

Bruce is in this! Bruce had such a rough character to portray in Lovely Writer, and it was hard to really like that character even if you felt bad for them. So glad we got a character for Bruce that we loved this time in Chot.

Zorzo is in this, she's incredible, we love her. She can do whatever she wants—she shows up on a set and we're just like, ‘hello Zorzo, what do you want to do today?’

It's just so much fun watching this cast work together. Even the new people. Saint had some difficulties with his romantic partner and I think that's because he was new and nervous about doing that right. But he was really really good with Ben: when Jaab was interacting with Pat, Saint was really good, and you can see why he was cast. His chemistry with Ben felt so natural, and didn't read as like weirdly sexual or romantic, which is very easy to fall into in BL when they put literally any boys in the same room with each other.

They did a great job letting queer friendships feel like queer friendships in this show. There's so much that's genuinely good in this show, which is why I feel like I have to give it a 7.5. Like if it had just been kind of bad and muddled? I’d have probably given it an 8 for just pure gumption. But it's frustrating, because it feels like everyone understood what the mission was and the plan fell apart with contact with the enemy immediately, and they did not regroup at all.

Nini

This is sounding like video game stuff.

Ben

I'm kind of pissed! I'm in captain mode right now. I'm assessing the film and going over everyone's screens and we're talking about who fucked up here.

50:25 - Step by Step: Where are we on Tee Bundit?

Ben

The most important thing to ask now is, where do either of us sit when it comes to Tee Bundit and Dee Hup House?

Nini

I am a Tee Bundit fan? I see some of the things that he wants to say. I think that maybe he needs some guardrails? And maybe to lighten up a little bit? Because he has good ideas, and the ideas, he makes them very legible, when he wants to.

I am curious to see how he does with some guardrails. Sometimes an artist needs a few guardrails to really focus themselves. So I am still down with Tee, and I'm interested in seeing the rest of what he's putting out this year. How about you?

Ben

I just want to grab him—like William Shatner in a classic Star Trek episode—by both of his upper arms, and say very clearly: “You got to stop being mean to the audience, bro. They're on your side.” It feels like he's beefing with us the audience, in Step by Step. Like it feels like he resents that the only way he can tell queer stories and get funded is to do queer romance, which I don't know that he's interested in—even though clearly he cares a lot about queer existence. Which is a very complicated space to sit as an artist, particularly with what the zeitgeist is feeling right now?

But I need him to not take that energy out on us as the audience, like we signed up for romance, bro! Stop making us feel bad for wanting that! It just feels like Tee is just mad, and yelling in the room, and we're like ‘I get that you're mad bro, but this is unfun for all of us: we are on your side, and you are taking this out on us.’ He's that friend, who's right…but fuck, dude!

[Nini laughs]

Ben

That's all I've got. It's a chop for me, I'm sorry. [laughs]

Nini

Nah, I mean, sometimes we disagree, my friend, that’s just the way it is. [laughs] For me it’s a 9, for Ben it’s a 7.5, so that works out to…8.25? Yeah, that sounds about right.

Ben

It’s not bad, but it’s not good.

Nini

8.25 for Step by Step, and entry into contention for the Girl You Tried award for this season.

53:10 - La Pluie

Nini

Okay, so we are talking all things La Pluie. Ben, tell us what La Pluie is about.

Ben

La Pluie is a sort of speculative fiction romance, set in a world very similar to ours, where a small subset of the population experience temporary sensory loss whenever it rains as a form of deafness. Of that incredibly small population, an even smaller portion of them, when they come of age—which is 20 in Thailand—they may begin to hear another person's voice whenever it rains. Those people are seemingly tied to each other by this rain-based connection and other people have described them as soulmates.

Our protagonist Saengtai is a 22-year-old who experiences rain deafness. He has three brothers, one older, and both of his parents are what people call soulmates. When he turned 20, his parents wanted him to know that they were getting a divorce, and this shattered Saengtai’s faith in the concept of soulmates, and he spent the next two years actively avoiding speaking to his soulmate at all. Two years later, he happens to run into him in a cafe, realizes his soulmate is hot, and then [laughs] decides to maybe give it a shot. And the show becomes this ongoing exploration of the concept of romance itself, unpacking whether or not the soulmates concept is real, portrayed by incredibly emotionally aware characters.

Our primary four characters are: Saengtai, our protagonist, who's a writer. Patts, his soulmate, who is a veterinarian, and slightly older than him, and very cool. You have Saengtai’s little brother Saengtien, who’s kind of a rascal, who does not have rain deafness but very much believes in the concept of soulmates. And then there's Lomfon, a boy who is also in school with Saengtien, who adamantly refuses to believe in soulmates, and causes his own problems along the way. There's quite a colorful cast of supporting characters, and this is probably…the most legible show that we've ever watched? From the very first scene, this show is nothing but constant payoff.

Nini

Hmm, I don't know about from the very first scene, because as you know, it took me a few episodes to kind of get there. I started and stopped, and then had to be cajoled back in [laughs] and I do not regret coming back in. The line on this for me is that I think soulmates are bullshit. I've never been a fan of this soulmate trope—in the first episode or two, I'm just kind of like, ‘I don't know that they're gonna do anything interesting with this’ and then sometime around…it was definitely around episode 4, and I know it was around episode 4 because isn't that when Tai bit that man? We're gonna talk about this, Ben.

Ben

[laughs] Tai did bite that man, in episode 3.

Nini

Tai, my precious little alley cat, that was when I decided I was in [laughs] and I was gonna keep watching. I mean he literally got drunk and bit Patts, and I was like, ‘okay this is gonna be fucking awesome.’ Who bites somebody??

Ben

Someone unhinged!

Nini

Exactly, that's the point! And you know I love unhinged, so I was in for the duration after that. That was like the end of episode 3 when he bit him? And then episode 4 it just keeps getting better.

57:50 - La Pluie: The Soulmate Myth

Ben

Let's get properly into the soulmate stuff. I stand by my comment that this show begins paying off from the very first scene. We read the blurb, we get our little intro, and he's like ‘we got soulmates in this world; I can't hear when it rains; there's a boy who talks to me when it rains,’ and we were like ‘whoa man, these two are gonna fuck real good!’ And then the show opens with divorce. And I was like, ‘never mind, I am seated!’

Right away, the show is telling you that it is going to challenge the presumptions built into its core premise. It spends the entire time interrogating its premise, with really legible characters. And I think you provided the clearest read on the sort of primary archetypes these characters fit, when you described them in the framework of faith. So, please elaborate on your analysis.

Nini

The key thing all our characters, our key characters are dealing with in the show, is whether they believe in soulmates or not? So you have Tien, who is absolutely a true believer, 100% believes in soulmates, no matter what has happened to potentially shake his faith in soulmates he totally believes in it. Then you have Tai, who I described as an apostate, because Tai used to be a true believer and then his faith was shattered, and so he's sort of gone against believing in soulmates. In terms of their love interests, you have Patts, who is sort of agnostic on the idea? ‘Eh, I don't know, maybe soulmates are real, maybe they're not, doesn't really matter to me. I don't know what to believe but I'm not going to let it affect what I'm doing, and this is the way I feel about things.’ And then you've got Lomfon, who is an atheist: not just an atheist, like a rationalist atheist. He's just like, ‘soulmates are bullshit, I don't buy this, I don't believe in anything that this is happening here.’ And then what the show does with those four viewpoints is sort of, brings them all around to a kind of agnosticism? So in the end, they kind of all get to where Patts started.

Then one of the things the show does towards the end, really at the end, is bring Patts around to being…sort of a true believer? Not necessarily in the sense of the rain deafness connection being a soulmate connection, but believing in the idea of having a soulmate. I don't think that's in any way related to the rain deafness connection at all, but more about choices and the way that he feels about Tai, and the way that Tai feels about him and the relationship that they are building. I found that really interesting, where in the end everybody kind of comes around to the agnostic viewpoint, Patts is the one who moves towards a, a believer, but not in the whole myth.

Ben

I think what works for me really in the show, when it comes to the belief in soulmates or not, is…the show understands that belief without action is meaningless. In the case of Tai and Lomfon, their choices and inaction create immense harm for the people around them that they claim to care about. In the case of Tai, he hurts Patts, for years, with his silence. Like it is totally fine for him to want to work out his comfortability with the rain-based connection privately and on his own time, but he owed it to Patts to say that. Even just, ‘I'm uncomfortable having you in my head, please don't talk to me when it rains.’ That's all he had to say. It's the silence that was really cruel for me. He's hurting Patts and punishing him, because his parents let him down. That's really shitty.

Lomfon glomps on to Tai, for whatever reason, and just determines he's supposed to be with Tai. Actively ignoring the growing relationship between him and Tien, hurting everyone along the way. Whereas Patts and Tien are both actively treating people with immense kindness and care, because of how they believe and how they move through the world. Tien cares a lot about his brother: he knows his brother was hurt by what happened to their parents, and he gives excuses for him and he tries to take care of his brother, he tries to make himself small to take care of his family and the people around them, even if he's a little bit feisty. And Patts, who maybe doesn't care about the soulmate shit at all, sees Tai once: is like, ‘whoa, I am inextricably drawn to this person,’ and pursues him very kindly. The people with the most angst about whether or not this shit is real are the ones doing the most harm to other people. It's the people who are most pissy about faith being the worst in their relationships.

Nini

Look at us here being a couple of lapsed Catholics on the podcast.

[both laugh]

Nini

There is so much that the show wants to say about that idea of faith without works being dead. So much that the show wants to say about the relationship between chance and choice. I think the show itself is agnostic on whether soulmates are real? But I think the show does also say: there is some mix of chance and choice in romance. You ran into this person in a coffee shop—that's chance. But what you do next is choice.

There're little things sprinkled throughout, like Patts and Tai finding out—once they've decided to be together—finding out that they actually had a connection from earlier on, because Patts's grandmother used to live next door to Tai. So when Tai's parents split up and he was like really sad and depressed about it, Patts saw this kid crying, and he just decided to be kind to this kid, and he helped Tai through, like, the immediate aftermath of his parents' divorce. And in return for that kindness, Tai sort of helped him through the death of his grandmother? They never saw each other's faces or anything like that, this was a happenstance. This was a chance encounter, through Patts's kindness and Tai’s kindness in return, that became a connection between them. Again, chance and choice. It was by chance that Patts saw this kid crying, but it was a choice to be kind to the kid next door.

That's threaded throughout the story in different parts, this idea that chance brings you to the table but choice determines what happens when you get there.

Ben

I feel very strongly, as a lapsed Catholic, that none of the beliefs matter if you're just trying to be right. What matters is how you treat people.

Nini

The show is more interested in the choices than the chances, but it does put the chances sort of in there. You know that the show is interested in the choices because of the way that it deals with the parents, and the parents divorce, and how the parents have made it through their divorce and continue to be people who are together in dealing with their children, who still talk to each other when it rains, who have moved out of a romantic phase and into a platonic phase in their lives. To the point where the mom can get remarried to somebody who is more suited to her, and this doesn't affect their friendship.

I really enjoyed the aspects of the show that really harped on the idea of choice, and choosing how you're going to build a relationship with somebody whether it is romantic or platonic, rather than fate putting somebody in your path and that feeling like a predetermination of who that person is going to be to you. That's why in the end, I did come around to La Pluie after not being interested at the beginning. They fucked with soulmates, and I like that.

Ben

I feel the need to rant.

Nini

The floor is yours, sir. Speak directly into the microphone.

Ben

I'm so glad that this show ended by saying that the soulmate stuff was a trap. It was really frustrating to see everybody caught up in the soulmate stuff, and the mechanic of that, as this verification tool. Maybe it's the whole lapsed Catholic thing and having a very complex relationship with faith and doubt? Because I got the whole notion that the purpose of all of this is about choice. It's about what you do with the opportunities you're given, and how you treat the people when you're there.

It was really frustrating to watch so many members of the audience just really struggle with this show, because they needed the soulmates thing to either be bullshit, or to be confirmed. I really like that the show very politely sidesteps answering that, because what matters is how people treat each other. The opening scroll of the show is a happy couple that is a guy with rain deafness hanging out with somebody who is not. Like these things were legible from the beginning for me, and it was so…tedious, week in and week out, dealing with the, like the weather report: “Are the soulmates real this week?” Stop.

Nini

Since we're ventilating the show's take on soulmates so to speak…

1:08:22 - La Pluie: Lomfon is Rude!

Ben

Yeah, let's talk about somebody who clearly got it wrong, in the show!

Nini

[laughs] Let's talk about Lomfon getting that ass beat, and why it was absolutely necessary.

Ben

We're gonna begin where we always sat: Lomfon is rude! And Patts should have punched him harder.

Nini

[laughs] I like just, I heard like a million people just turning the podcast off at this point—but it's, it's true, it's a fact.

Ben

Look, I do not care. Here's the thing: Lomfon is beefing with people for no reason, from the jump. He's beefing with Tien in the store over a goddam magazine. He's beefing with other classmates. He has no goddamn friends.

Nini

He was rude to Bow! He was rude to Tai's boss, and he likes Tai, and he still couldn't muster up like a shred of interest in anything she was doing, or even general politeness to shake her hand and say hi how you doing. Rude!

Ben

He only cares about what he's thinking about, there's no regard for other people. Like yeah, sure. He's like, 20. And like, kids gotta grow up at some point. But also, tastin’ a little bit of fist will reorient your life a little bit sometimes.

Nini

[laughs] True!

Ben

He's just so dramatic! There's this development over the course of the show, where Tai ends up with two different soulmates with connections to him. Lomfon is like, ‘I'm hearing Tai’s voice when it rains.’ Instead of, like sending, like a group text, saying, like, ‘hey, I believe something very strange may have happened to me, I think we should all meet up next Sunday at four o'clock—because I've checked the weather and we should all be together for this.’ And they could have handled this like adults and talked about stuff. No. Lomfon is rude and selfish, and so he needs to corner Tai in the rain, kiss Tai, and be like ‘whoops, my bad!’ And then when Patts rolls up on him throwing haymakers, he's like ‘whoa bro, no, he's mine!’ He's yours? Little boy. Please.

I got a lot of smoke for this motherfucker, I got some notes over here. This dude hung out with Tien at a cast party, cuddled with drunk Tien, calls his brother because Tien needs a ride home—and then while Tien is mostly unconscious, flirts with his older brother? Gross.

Nini

He's in his own zone. He's not thinking about anybody else, he's not interested in whether what he does affects anybody else and how it affects anybody else. And it takes, yes quite frankly, a jaw rockin’, for him to get his head out of his ass. Completely concur that it was needed.

Because I mean, think about this okay? Even if he actually liked Tai—which he doesn't really—does he think that this is the way to go about getting Tai? Let's ponder this for a second, just a short second, okay? It doesn't even make sense. And then, he thinks that maybe he might feel something for Tien, he doesn't know…but instead of, I don't know maybe, hm! going on a date with Tien instead of Tai—like there's so many other ways that Lomfon could have gone about what he went about. He just did it in the messiest way possible. Everybody was already telling him, ‘look I'm seeing what you're doing here and I'm gonna need you to take a step back.’

Ben

Tien picked up on it because they were on that mountain, and he saw Lomfon starting shit and looking at his brother, and he pulled that motherfucker aside, he said, ‘I am a third son, bitch, I will bury you on this mountain! Don't ever look at my brother again! Their relationship is theirs, and if you fuck with them one more time, they will not find your fucking corpse on this mountain.’

Nini

Everybody who saw it told Lomfon, ‘yo, you need to mind your own business.’ And if they didn't tell Lomfon, they told Tai—so Bow told Tai, ‘look, Lomfon’s up in your business. You need to say something and get that kid away from your business.’ Tien told him mind your own business. Patts told him mind your own business—because Patts definitely knew that Lomfon had a crush on Tai.

Ben

And Lomfon’s like, ‘well I heard Tai's voice in the rain, so now it's my business,’ and instead of talking to Tai properly, he's going to go like beef with Patts and be like I'm taller than you, so.

[both laugh] That boy got on my goddamn nerves! Like, he's an excellent character.

1:13:30 - La Pluie: Tai Also Deserves Some Smoke

Ben

Let's talk about how Tai needed that ass whooped too.

Nini

That's what I was about to say, like, we're on Lomfon and Lomfon deserved it, but Tai also deserves some smoke and I'm here to give it to him. Tai, baby boy. Patts carried you down that mountain after you ran up there in the first place offa some bullshit. He had to carry you back down that mountain, y’all come back down the mountain as boyfriends. You looked at that man in the car and told him ‘I want to stay over at your place tonight’ and that man beat land speed records to take you back to his house. You literally got the booty in every single room in that apartment.

And then you decide to go on a date-not-date with Lomfon? I feel like it was a little bit too—like he was slightly flattered?

Ben

Let me just read Tai his rights. [Nini laughs]

This man, after finally getting what he thinks he's wanted this whole time, realizes there may be a situation going on with his brother's friend. He coulda asked his brother, like at any moment: ‘yo what's up with Lomfon, like Bow is already saying dude was sniffing around, and he asked me you to do some sort of thing, and I dunno how I feel about it. What's up with you and your little friend?’ And Tien could have been like ‘oh noooo, I actually like him, why is he doing this like?’ He could have solved this any number of ways that were less dramatic than ‘let me lie to my boyfriend because I'm worried how he's gonna handle knowing that this little dude is sniffing around’—as if he didn't already know.

It is so frustrating that Patts—who is clear from the beginning that his primary concern was Saengtai’s comfort and happiness—for Saengtai to just actively ignore this man's vocalized needs. Man is telling you, he wants you to say the things. And you're like ‘well, don't my actions show it?’ No baby boy, because you're out here with some other dude in the middle of the motherfuckin’ rain, and you need to do better.

And then! That boy is at his mom's wedding. Your dad has said he is happy for her. He likes the guy that she's gonna be with, and he's happy for the life that they're gonna have. And this boy ruins their wedding, making it all about him, because he's mad that his parents’ soulmate thing didn't work out. Oh I was so mad at that boy.

He was so frustrating as a protagonist sometimes, because he just shits on all the relationships in his life. He shits on his mom. He’s low key shitting on his dad. He relies on his little brother too much without really paying attention to him in a meaningful way, and he beats up on Patts. And he does the same thing to Bow, like he works with Bow. She's clearly covering for him at work. Because he works with a bunch of other people and refuses to ever learn their names or really engage with them.

Nini

This is not to say that we do not love my little alley cat Tai, but he is a fucking alley cat. [laughs] He has the predisposition and morals of one, quite frankly. Like he's scratching and biting…in some ways he's just as rude as Lomfon. But like, you see where all this stuff comes from. And you want him to like, just for a second like, dude, retract the claws, and stop making decisions for people that are more about what you want and what you're interested in than what they want and need and have said that they want and need.

Ben

This is what I mean, like, the show being legible and saying the same thing the whole time. Like, as early as episode 2 Tai is like, ‘hey I found my soulmate,’ and Tien says quite plainly, ‘you fucked with love: unfuck it.’ And when he finally has that confrontation with his parents where they show him the complexity of human relationships, where his dad also says, ‘when you have love you need to take care of it.’

It's so funny, like, for all that Tai is obsessed with his dad, Tien is the one who picked up on his dad's, like, core skills. And Tai is so much like his mom, I'm really glad the show finally recognized that towards the end. Tai recognizes that he's doing to Patts what his mom was doing to him: not giving him any information, leaving him to suffer in silence without giving him the context that he's desperately needing. And it showed a lot of growth that he finally got his ass together, and spent the whole episode running around looking for that man, because goddamn.

1:18:26 - La Pluie: Tai’s Dad Read as Queer

Ben

I wanna get this aside in here, how Tai's dad read as queer to me the whole time, I don't know if he did to you?

Nini

He did, but I didn't know if that was the actor or the character.

Ben

I think it may have been both, and I think I like the way the show handled it. I think it was very useful for subtext to show that Tai's dad is queer? And to not confirm it at the text level. Because La Pluie is not interested in structural homophobia. But I thought it was a really interesting premise to consider what happens if a straight person and a gay person think they're soulmates. What happens if a man who knows who he is goes into a straight marriage, loves his sons, loves his wife, but they can't work, because they can't be the kind of partners they need to be to each other. Which is exactly what the show says, without saying it’s because the dad was queer.

And I think I really like the show leaving that as subtext for us to consider? Because the show does such a great job at building emotionally intelligent gay relationships otherwise.

Nini

I think there were lots of markers for it, like there were markers in the character themselves, there are markers in the relationship that the father and the mother had, the way that the mother was the breadwinner and the father was the caretaker. There are markers in the father's chosen profession, he's a chef. There is a, sort of a marker in this idea of him being—I think it was a private chef to some ambassador and spending a lot of time with this ambassador? All of these are things that I picked up on, and I don't know if they were easter eggs or if they were just throwaways, but there were lots of like tiny little markers.

Ben

And also him being the one to actually say that they should break up.

Nini

Yeah, there, there are lots of tiny little, like I said, could be read as markers, could just be coincidental, but the show is so well constructed that I am loath to leave it to the idea of coincidence.

Ben

I agree. I think it's well done.

1:20:48 - La Pluie: The Romance

Ben

Tai needed to get his shit together, because as far as I'm concerned Patts is maybe the most perfect romantic interest that BL has ever created. And that also feels really intentional for the themes that they're unpacking.

Nini

La Pluie is a romance novel. Like, if you look at the way it's structured, the way it's organized, La Pluie is a romance novel that is sort of an anti romance novel, almost? And in a romance novel, the love interest is essentially perfect. If they have a flaw, it's something that is, ‘my only flaw is that I care too much’ or some shit like that, you know, that kind of thing? [both laugh]

Patts fits into that mould in a way, but it's also subverted a little bit? So, he's handsome, he's a vet, he is kind to animals, he’s kind to people. He's very sweet, he is a hundred percent into Tai.

Ben

He drives a Porsche. He has a very nice apartment.

Nini

[laughs] He's rich. You know what I mean? All the markers of like the perfect romantic hero.

Ben

He has no family drama.

Nini

None whatsoever…he has a little tragic backstory with grandmother dying…like he’s the perfect romantic hero in a trope sense. Listen, I think sometime around the time that Tai bit that man— and yeah I'm still not over it—

Ben

He did bite that man.

Nini

I remember saying to Ben, ‘oh so like Tai’s an alley cat, but Patts is a literal angel.’ Because after he bit that man and then he threw up on him, still that man took him home, let him, like, lay in his bed. He gave him clothes, left him alone to change his own clothes, and then in the morning when he woke up hungover and couldn't remember shit, he woke up and there was a note because he had cleared out, he didn’t wanna make him feel awkward or anything like that. He cleared out, he left a note saying all the things that he did the night before, because he didn't know if he was going to remember…He was perfect about it. He was such a gentleman.

Ben

As one of the leaders of the Patts defense squad, I'm gonna have to lead a charge for my boy. Because my man is the best communicator. He clearly understands that something is wrong with his soulmate, doesn't pressure him to talk to him; just talks back to him, tries to be kind to him, tries to say nice things to him. Eventually sees a guy who he wants to pursue. He does not know that it’s Tai. But the first thing he does that night is like, ‘hey I don't know what's going on with you, but I saw the cutest boy that has ever existed, and I'm gonna pursue him, so uh, deuces!’

So they end up at this club, Tai gets low-key abandoned by his friends, so Patts takes care of him. Tai bites that man, tries to bite him again. Later that night starts fussing with Patts, accusing him of being a player, and then makes out with him! Like yes, he was drunk, but—makes out with him! Like bro! Patts starts pursuing him earnestly after that, by leaving the note. And then Tai, who does have communication skills and social skills, does the cutesy thing you would do in a movie. He's going to return the fucking clothes to Patts in a cute little bag waiting outside his job. And the two of them go out on the cutest little date, full of all sorts of great stuff.

Also, like, I haven't talked about it that much here: Title is really really good. I love the way Title and Pee both play their characters in this show. The way Title played Tai during that dinner they had? Was so good. At one point when he asks Patts, ‘do you always eat like this?’

Nini

And he points with the knife?

Ben

And he points with the knife, it is so, so perfect! And Patts is so clever. Like Tai wants to hang out and they want to go on the date and he's like, ‘let me not…bullshit about who I am.’ They ride in his Porsche to a fancy restaurant that Patts clearly frequents regularly because the staff recognizes him. He hands Tai the menu and asks Tai what he wants. Tai, who also has social skills and is like ‘I don't know about this, I don't know what the rules are here,’ decides not to make the choice on ordering something, ‘cause he's not trying to hit him up style. So he passes the choice to Patts, and then Patts makes a neutral choice by just saying ‘we'll have whatever the chef’s special is for the day.’ By making the neutral choice to just accept the chef’s special, even though Patts picked the place, he is making sure Tai understands that Patts will not be forcing him to do anything.

I just really love their date, like there's so much there; Patts is really charming, he's funny…and then moving along, the next thing Tai does, which is insane, is introduce Patts to his dad without warning. And the dad ain't shit either, picking on Patts the whole time.

Nini

[laughs] It was funny.

Ben

He hangs out with their dad, and immediately Patts’s instinct is to show the proper respect to Tai’s father. He doesn't get in the middle of their fight. He doesn't ask about it. He just sort of gives them a way to end the fight now, he politely asks about Tai and his other brothers, giving Tai a chance to talk about his family if he wants to. They go back to Tai’s place. Patts, not really thinking about it, walks in on Tai while he's changing, gets to see all the goodies. And then they have this intense moment, and they end up making out on the floor.

I want to make a special note here about La Pluie: La Pluie is one of the first BLs that I can really remember, ever, that when there is a moment of intense sexual tension, releases it. So often these shows just bait us. They titillate us, they want us to get all hot and bothered about ‘whoa, they's ‘bout to kiss’ and then they interrupt it with some nonsense. Or they just don't do anything with it and they tease us and they make bits out of it. And as much as I enjoy these shows, it was so refreshing to see a show go, ‘what if we release it? What if they actually start making out on the floor? What then?’

I get frustrated a lot of times in BL about how they make these boys dickless. And there's this really lovely thing in La Pluie that Patts’s concern was Tai's pleasure. But they stop, because Tai isn't ready. And though Patts was a bit caught up in the moment, he catches himself. And they back off, and they have a conversation about what else is going on. Patts learns a little bit more about Tai—low key they played with some of the yaoi framing in that moment, because as big as Pee is, he crouches himself down and makes himself lower than Tai, and is kind of looking at, up at him in cute ways—because you'd expect Patts to be maybe the seme in this sort of framing—and they do that early on by putting Patts on the left with the date shit when Tai goes to see him, but Patts is queering that narrative by intentionally moving himself to the right when he's trying to get closer to Tai.

When they're on their Chiang Mai trip, one of the most insane things this show does that I will never get over, is…they’re sharing the bed, both of them are awake. They know what's going to happen, we know what's going to happen, but everyone knows Tai is not exactly ready, because we haven't climbed that mountain yet. We haven't dealt with the core angst. We're both two men who are very attracted to each other, and we know we're attracted to each other—so they start to get hot and bothered, but Tai has them stop again, and Patts, our strongest soldier, pulls himself back again. But Tai, listening to his good sis Bow, is like ‘I can't keep leaving this man hanging, I can't keep starting these things and then not finishing it.’ He offers to blow Patts and it was very explicit that that's what happened. We know!

It's so impressive to me that this show presented Tai giving Patts head as a way for him to maintain control over a sexual encounter. The whole notion about giving pleasure as a form of control is something we have not really seen explored in BL this way. I really liked that this show focused on the different ways that two men are going to become more physically and sexually comfortable with each other over time. And even after everything, after Tai has cast him aside, he still chooses to go back to Tai and try and reconcile with him, because he did lose his temper. And that was a scary moment. And I think I like that Patts losing his temper was made as jarring and scary as possible in the show, because I feel like really perfect characters need to have this intense rage about them. Because I have never met a chill pacifist in my life. The choice to be kind is so hard in a world full of cruelty, and I like that underneath the surface of Patts is a temper that he has to manage and maintain. I love my man.

Nini

I can't remember who it is, somebody put this on Tumblr: that Patts is kind but he's not always nice, and Tai is nice but that he's not always kind.

Ben

Exactly.

Nini

Tai seems like, you know, gentle and soft. But when it comes down to it, Tai is the one in the narrative who's actually kind of cruel? It's very interesting to put that on a romantic protagonist. How it ends up getting read is incredibly interesting, because that person is the romantic protagonist, it ends up getting…cast aside, and here I go back into Calvinism and the green flag label [laughs] that I thought I had ventilated with Bed Friend.

Ben

[laughs] As soon as you said that my third eye opened, and I was like—

Nini

Here I go again!

Ben

Where—where's my bat?

[both laugh]

Nini

I didn't get this out of my system the first time, somehow. But yeah, the way that that's received in a protagonist, the fact that the protagonist is kind of a little bit of a bitch boy, quite frankly [laughs], gets glossed over, and then the person who made a mistake has it sort of loom large.

1:32:06 - La Pluie: Depiction of Male Anger

Ben

I got a little bit mad about that with the fandom too like, we got all this bending over backwards week in and week out for Lomfon's rude ass and Tai’s rude ass. Patts loses his temper once, punches a boy, punches a wall, and we're like ‘oh! he's dangerous!’ And I'm like, ‘I hate this!’

And there's a lot more I want to unpack here in the future — this does not feel like the right time to do it, but we really need to talk about that at some point, as a community that engages with romance? Because we have a really fucked-up relationship with violence. Like, Patts, not leaving a mark on Lomfon was seen as egregious. Punching a door in frustration was seen as egregious. But like, Bad Buddy opens up with Pran shit-kicking Pat to the fucking ground, as these boys beat the shit out of each other!

Nini

I think like, it's a lot of things. It's a question of who gets to be angry, and how anger is portrayed, and men's anger, and the way that women—because of the way that we have to be socialized to protect ourselves, the way that we view men's anger that is sort of slightly different from how men will view men's anger? And how being familiar with certain kinds of angry expressions from men is, like, one of the reasons that women shrink from that kind of stuff. And there's so many women in BL fandom.

Like I understood where that was coming from, but at the same time, the show is so legible. It's very legible that this is Patts…reaching the end of his rope, and it's very clear in the show that Patts would never actually hurt anybody. [laughs] He doesn't even really hurt Lomfon. Lomfon is fine! He gets his ass kicked a little bit, but he's fine!

Ben

As our great friend wen-kexing-apologist pointed out, this show has a makeup budget. My boy Tai got his shit fucked up on that mountain, and the makeup crew made sure he looked messed up even in that wet filming situation. They could have afforded to make that boy's mouth bruised the way it should have been for talking the way he was, and my man doesn't. And that's the thing that gets me. Like, everybody else is allowed to be an asshole, but Patts, who I believe deserves to be righteously angry about this shit going down at this point in their relationship—and it's like ‘aw, geez, I don't know about that brah.’

We see, through Patts’s relationship with Nara, that he would never actually hurt Tai. And that's why the intensity of his frustration I think should have been the focus, not the expression of it. I really resented the way it felt like everyone suddenly wanted to regulate Patts’s frustration. I hate the whole notion that he is only allowed to be upset in an attractive, gentle way. Because he's been gentle the whole goddamn time, and everyone has been so rude and disrespectful of him.

Nini

Like, there is room to talk about the expression of Patts’ frustration, but you can't have that room if you're using it in a reductive manner to just completely kick him out the window as a character. I don't buy that, I don't subscribe to it.

1:35:50 - La Pluie: Treatment of Nara

Ben

With Nara, we saw that Patts is capable of dealing with difficult romantic situations. Because Nara is treated so sympathetically about everything that went down with her and Patts. How she feels frustrated about Patts’s soulmate connection with Tai, long before they start talking, I think is valid. Because she felt frustrated. She felt frustrated that anytime it rains, Patts gets moody, and it feels like somebody else is in the middle of their relationship. And you got the sense from them accidentally making out in the rain one time, where Patts immediately cut it off and apologized, that he didn't want to put Tai through that, even before he knew who Tai was. I got that Nara felt frustrated that her intimacy was scheduled around the goddamn rain. She felt an innate jealousy in her own relationship that she knew she was struggling with and couldn't exactly cope with. It wasn't fair to either of them. Patts is like, ‘look if I can get rid of this I would, because I do care about you.’

Nara takes some time. She gets to reflect, she decides to grow. She knows that it's hard out here in these goddamn streets, and Patts is a keeper, and she tries to do the big romantic gesture. And that's why Tai liked her! Because that boy loves big romantic gestures! And Patts lets her down, he apologizes, he's like ‘I'm sorry I may have led you on, I want things to be okay between us. Because what happened between us was real, it mattered to me, and I still care about you even if I can't give you my heart like that anymore.’ Yeah, “we should stay friends” is kind of a cliche, but it feels earned here.

And I also like that Nara got to be disappointed and heartbroken and upset about it too. I liked that people cared about how she felt. They wanted to reintegrate her into the group. The other vets liked Nara, even if she wasn't going to be Patts’ girlfriend anymore. But they understand that in the breakup, they're Patts’s friends. And you know those people respect relationship dynamics, because they didn't just look to Patts to see if Nara was okay to be around, they look to Saengtai, to see how the new person was going to feel about that—particularly because he just ran up a fucking mountain because of her—and he says it's okay, and they were so eager to reintegrate her into the group.

And then she and Dream get to get rolling. And they let us have them at the end! She was like, ‘look, we only got five minutes left in this show, if you going to get this shit you better come correct and you better come now.’ And I loved that! Because the girlies deserved it.

Nini

She said, ‘I'm grown, give it your best shot.’

Ben

I saw some frustrations with the ending, and how a lot of the episode was Tai running around by himself, and meeting some random characters at the end, and…us not spending a lot of time with Patts, like Patts not really talking at the end? But it works for me. Tai had to deal with the silence, for the first time—that he inflicts silence on so many people, and now he's the one who has to sit in the shit that he made.

And I liked him meeting a couple that had challenges to deal with in their relationship, and being told once again, ‘you just got to do the work bro, you gotta talk to each other, you gotta listen to what your partner is saying to you.’ And I like that the final scene with Tai and Patts is Tai not hesitating.

Man! This show was so rewarding to watch because it wasn't trying to trick us.

Nini

The show was wearing its bona fides on the tin. It was very clear where it wanted to go, what it wanted to do. It wasn't playing with us. It wasn't trying to gotcha with us. It was just laying out its central idea, and continually reinforcing it throughout the story and the narrative for the entire way through.

Does that make it, like, unpredictable and exciting? No. But it made it really enjoyable to watch: to watch something lay the path, and then walk the path, was more fun than it, I expected it to be, I have to say.

1:40:47 - La Pluie: The Side Characters

Nini

And, when we're talking about laying the path and walkin’ the path—man, let's just get to it, let's talk about Tien and Lomfon.

Here are the polar opposites, okay, because in Tai and Patts, like you have an agnostic and an apostate, like they're not as far apart as somebody like Tien and Lomfon, who are a true believer and a total atheist. How do they get to the middle? All the shit that happens in the middle, especially, [laughs] how do they get through that and find their way through each other? Basically, Lomfon has to grovel, and I enjoy a good grovel, so I had a great time.

Ben

Here's the thing. My boy Tien deserves so much more than he got. My man initiated a gay pinky touch, and then Lomfon, was like, ‘hm! I don't know what's going on, but I know that I have these special signs from the universe about this stupid key chain, that I need to go kiss this boy's brother, not the one reaching out with the gay pinky touch while taking care of me while I'm sick, twice!’ I'm gonna stay mad at this man. [both laugh]

This man ruined a gay pinky touch. Tien is so patient with both of them. Like Patts is beating up Lomfon, Tai is screaming at the universe, clearly suddenly they can all hear in the rain, Tien doesn't know what's going on—but he cuts through the bullshit right away with Lomfon, it's like, ‘I liked you! Why are you being like this?’ Even when Tai didn't realize what was going on, Tien holds back his own disappointment that his brother maybe didn't necessarily see him the right way, and still says, ‘thank you for always being on my left.’

Ahh! I love that boy so much! He's so good, he deserves so much more. He was dressing like an early 2000s lesbian the whole time, serving nothing but constant looks. He was so fun to watch, especially when he was being kind of sassy with everyone.

Nini

I like Tien as a character, I like his wardrobe…don't even get me started. That outfit he wore to the wedding? Unreal. I loved it so much.

Ben

I loved it. It's so good. Oh my god.

Nini

Un. Real.

Ben

That whole family looked good, like holy shit! [laughs]

Nini

We didn't even talk about Saengnuea! And oh god, we're never going to get forgiven by one of the clowns if we never even bring up Saengnuea.

Ben

He was so awkward and goofy! I, I liked that boy too. I loved Bow, I loved the vets—what's so great about the side characters with La Pluie, is they do their role just enough to help us understand the world in which these characters exist. Like Tai is surrounded by people trying to just pour love all over that boy, and he will just not let them. Patts is surrounded by a community that loves him, that wants the best for him, that wants to make sure that he gets what he deserves too. Oh my god, just—what an excellent show.

1:44:02 - La Pluie: Sequel Potential

Nini

The thing that I think that we want to end up on is, I said before that La Pluie is basically a filmed romance novel. If you are aware of how, like, these romance novels get set up—a lot of the time, it will be multiple stories set in the same universe, where each of the characters basically gets to fall in love. We know at least that the La Pluie people seem to want to get into all of the Saeng brothers and their various romances. I don't know if they will get to, but what do you think about the obvious setup for the Saengtien sequel at the end of the show, and this idea of going into, like, a Bridgerton-esque series of romances using all of the same characters?

How do you feel about that?

Ben

Honestly…I’m a little bit nervous because I just worry that the audience won't respond to it really well. I feel like a significant portion of the audience just actively did not get La Pluie. They were really caught up in the soulmate stuff. And I just feel like a lot of the audience maybe didn't…gel with all the themes?

Nini

So as usual, Ben is the one thinking about everybody else while I very selfishly think about myself. [both laugh] And I'm just like, ‘give it to me.’ I'm ready, I'm here for it. I trust these writers, I trust this director, I think that if they get a chance to delve into this universe in more detail and focusing on different characters, I think that they can nail it? I'm ready to see what happens if they get a chance to do it.

I don't care about whether people are going to get it correctly or not, I don't. I kind of care, but at the same time I don't care. So that being said: Ben, is this a ten or a chop?

Ben

La Pluie is probably in my top five BLs of all time, and it's probably in my top ten shows of all time right now. It's a 10. It's a 10. [laughs] It’s a 10!

Nini

All right? So for Ben it’s a 10, for me it’s definitely a 10, that leaves us with La Pluie as a 10 show!

1:46:01 - Outro

Ben

And we're back.

Nini

Okay Ben, so…lotta ink spilled over these two shows. I don't think I've seen so much meta being written, probably since the Bad Buddy era. We've got a strange combo here: a show that was incredibly legible, and then a show that made you work a little bit harder, and in both instances it feels like people didn't get it? [laughs]

I don't know, what are your thoughts? What do you feel about this?

Ben

One of the big stories of this year is BL maturing as a genre and beginning to genre blend. Like in a lot of ways, La Pluie wants to straddle the line between BL and classic romance, and I think it does a pretty admirable job at it. Whereas Step by Step feels like the BL elements that it's trying to manage are holding it back from what it really wants to be. That feels like the sort of thing that inevitably happens with this type of outgrowth.

La Pluie doesn't really want to say things sort of directly or inherently about queerness, it wants to talk about romance itself. And romance as a genre. Whereas Step by Step really wants to talk about queer stuff in a real world, and that's a whole lot messier to deal with. They both did some things really really well, and the audience connected to that. And what fascinated me so much about it was that the audience felt compelled to talk to each other about it. I felt like that happened maybe more organically on its own with Step by Step? Some of us kind of forced the issue on La Pluie. I know that I was part of it, like very, very directly, and it's been fun seeing people respond to that, by just us saying very earnestly: please tell us what you're thinking. And engaging with what people are writing.

I think it's good for us and the genre to take it more seriously? It has been really fascinating for me seeing people engaging the way they are, but I legitimately feel a bit fatigued by it. And like, the last time I felt fatigue in BL, truly, was at the beginning. I know a lot of you don't watch as much content as I do, like you couldn't possibly do it, it's not healthy for you. I don't know how starved some of you have been for content that you can genuinely connect to, that can help you feel a little bit less lonely about yourself. And like I’d never gotten tired of queer cinema—I’d gotten hurt by it, but I'd never gotten, like, genuinely tired of just being in it that long.

And I feel a little tired from all of the intense writing that La Pluie and Step by Step kind of demanded of us. It's a really fascinating time for me as a fan, to feel like the shows are demanding more of us as viewers, as we watch them, than to just be pleased by them or intrigued by them so that we'll engage and buy merch and stuff. It was really fascinating having two shows this season that really feel like they wanted us to think about things along with them.

Nini

I know that you and I have talked about that feeling of fatigue, like for me, this is the most anything I've watched in years. The level of exhaustion that I felt, and then to have these two shows sort of spring up at the end of the season, and demand—you’re correct—demand my attention…not just in terms of the shows themselves, but then in the reaction to the shows. It's sort of left me a little hollowed out, almost, a little wrung out? I don't know yet if in a good way or a bad way. It's yet to be seen.

I remember saying to you at one point, I was like, I need something mindless to just sit and watch for the next couple of weeks, at least. Or, like, maybe longer, I just need something that I don't need to think about. And that's not a place that I'm accustomed to being in media? Because I am normally the let's get deep into it, let's get into the guts, put your arm in and come back with a beating heart kind of girl when it comes to the stories. And right now I'm just like, eh, I want something shallow and surface that I don't have to think too much about, please, just for a little while. And then I can re-engage my brain later. It's a very strange place for me to be in, I don't think it's a place that I've ever been in? But yeah these these two shows, they took it out of me, I gotta say.

And that's how we end the season ladies and theydies! We are a little wrung out, and we'll probably talk about that a little bit more in the Lagniappe. But yeah! We tired, y'all. [laughs]

Ben

It’s gonna be fascinating, like, getting to listen back over this, because we talked really in the season about how slow it was for me to get into the spring season, coming off of the the winter hangover from Moonlight Chicken, Utsukushii Kare, My School President and The Warp Effect. And it's weird now at the end of the spring season, where…I don't necessarily feel like a tired hangover from it? It's a hard feeling to describe because the winter shows were really good, really hit something in me…

Nini

The winter shows were emotionally intense. There was like a heavy emotional hangover coming off of the winter. I don't feel that emotional hangover now, but I feel mentally drained.

Ben

Yeah, it's a far more cerebral feeling, and like the thing for me is, I grow stronger on that feeling. [both laugh] It's gonna be, it’s gonna be hard for me if these new shows don't keep up! ‘Cause, it's what I want! I do not want to yuck anyone's yums, like, there is absolutely a place for fluff in this genre. I will never, ever vote against the silly and fun shows. I just also really love meaty shows that make me think really hard while I'm watching them. And I love when that feels intentional—like we do a lot of hard thinking on our own about these shows, but damn is it satisfying when it feels like the show itself is in that conversation with us. And I really hope that this isn't the last time we have an Adult Swim episode because we got a bunch of really thinky shows to think about.

Like, I was very harsh to Step by Step when we talked about that show, but I don't want Tee to stop thinking as hard as he does. I want him to stay in the guts of trying to unpack where queer people fit in modern Thai cinema. That's a really important thing to figure out, and queer people should be part of that conversation. And like even if I didn't think this was the best execution of his ideas, I don't want that conversation to get missed because his show didn't land consistently for everyone.

Nini

I'm tired y'all. I'm so tired.

Ben

[laughs] I’m so energized. Keep it coming.

Nini

My brain hurts! And this is the shit that I normally love, but my brain, it hurts, and my brain, she needs a break! And so, a break she shall have. [laughs]

We'll be back at you next time with the Lagniappe, but that's it for us now! We are just going to wrap it up on Adult Swim.

Our first Adult Swim episode: may there be others. We out! Say bye to the people, Ben.

Ben

Peace.

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