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unlikelyjapan · 9 months

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s2e3 rewatch notes

One more before the weekend...

"When I was a kid anything that would give me some type of excitement, or amusement or enjoyment would get fucked ... Sometimes they'd try too hard, or they'd make promises they weren't able to keep" - everything in Carmy's AA statement can be related to cooking, the restaurant, drawing, Claire - pretty much the sum of Carmy's parts now.

Second Carmy/Syd kitchen scene:

Carmy is always the first to ask about anyone's parents (but only to Syd) - just like he inquires about Syd's Dad, his first concern is to ask about Marcus' mom while they debate sending him to Copenhagen. Family and people, in general, are always at the forefront of his mind, while progression is always at the forefront of Syd's (even if she does genuinely cares and checks in, it's secondary)

Carmy's "I want to make a suggestion" to go out was so loaded - it was obviously a premeditated move that he wanted to do the food tour with Syd. "I think WE need to go out, and we need to try some stuff"

After he tells her he'll see her in an hour, Goodbye Girl by Squeeze starts playing, and the track ends as Tina realizes that Ebra isn't ever going to be by her side in class *dies twice*

Richie dropping off his daughter: I have a precocious 6-year-old daughter as well and.....they tried to squeeze way too many lines into Eva to advance Richie's storyline when it should have come via Tiff or something - I hate being a negative nelly, but this part is so botched/lifetime drama-y.

(His obvious tenderness is sweet though)

10:44am call with Claire: this is only 2ish hours after his AA talk - I guess the subject matter was resonating with him?

Her forcing the convo on how ingratiated she is with his family makes me throw up my hands and say "no wonder the guy had a fucking panic attack later!". I was just highlighting how in AA how his family tries too hard sometimes - this is a prime example with her "I know all the fuckin' Faks" jousting.

And my god, she knew he was about to tell her that he was busy today, and she claps back "can you not make this weird?" - it literally harkens back to his family's bullying and expectations that Carmy will pacify them. (I know she can't know all this, but damn)

This part of the conversation gets its own bullet point:

"You know, he [Fak] told me that you guys are really close and that he's your best friend" - I didn't realize the first go around how bold the attempt at enmeshment was. With Fishes as context, the toxicity levels in this conversation are off the rails.

Also, her demented smile when she says "really?" when he says "no...no, Fak's not my best friend" - aggghhhh!

"No, no. He is. He's probably my best friend"

What the hell is this? "That's interesting, to sit with, for you" with the continued weird little smile -this isn't flirting, this is her relishing in the fact that she can manipulate him.

Why didn't I clue into how caustically fucked this scene was the first time? I think I was so distracted by the whispy dialogue and cadence of the conversation that I actually blacked out of the dialogue. Thank goodness for subtitles, because this script is mildly psychotic to read.

I know Storer said that one of the themes of this season is "winning is losing" - Claire is definitely playing to win at all costs. Is s2e10 showing that she lost? Or am I sitting through this dialogue again next season? I NEED TO KNOW.

Anyways, Secret Teadrops by Martin Rev (google the lyrics) plays as sydney enters Kasama - God, the music suggests she was thrilled to be spending a day out of the usual context with Carmy, and her checking her phone constantly is killing me.

Twenty Five Miles by Edwin Starr starts playing at the start of the food montage, just as Sydney gets the text from Carmy that she'll be doing it alone.

"I've been walking for three days and two lonely nights, and you know that I'm mighty mad"

After the owner of Avec tells her that she needs a great partner above all else, the lyrics blare again with "although my feet are tired, I can't lose my stride" - she can't abandon faith in Carmy just yet.

After the Pelican meats scene where the butcher (I forget his name, sorry!) tells Syd that he and his wife lost their restaurant in Bucktown after a business partner cut and ran, the song again blares with "I'm SO tired, but I just can't lose my stride"

Syd starts to adjust her language to "I'm not exactly solo" in the next restaurant scene- ugh - painful.

Enter conversations about profit sharing. Naiya assumes that she and Carmy are INVOLVED involved, and when she finds out they're just "gentleman's agreement" partners, she basically tells her to watch her back. Syd registers the statement, but looks so dejected, like she knows she's on a fool's errand now.

The lyrics flare one last time simply with "I've got to walk on"

Cue Carmy's phone going to voicemail as she has the jitters on the loading dock. She looks so sad, but also resigned to her fate at this point.

Sydney calls Marcus right after trying to call Carmy looking for any kind of sign or reinforcement. We're at the triangle again, with Marcus interpreting it one way, and Syd....really not reading anything into it at all.

I feel like Fak making fun of Marcus for "looking forward' with that big, dumb smile on his face means he knows Marcus' affection for Sydney.... and I'm starting to realize all the plots I don't like are the result of Fak's intuition and/or meddling.

Syd awkwardly trying to poach BOH workers is adorably baller and shows how aggressive she is just now realizing she needs to become- and she's so terrible at it, and I love her.

Future Perfect by Duretti Column (what an awesome deep cut) playing - I love that this part of the montage is Syd diving deep into herself and her more analytically-bent creative process and fuck everyone else. It's just her carrying the creative load of the restaurant right now, but she's truly free.

Lyrics repeat "You tell me stories, you speak in pictures"

She's being absolutely present ("Don't live in the future") and letting the food and the city that birthed it speak to her honestly and it's just so beautiful. The old family pictures surface in her memory alongside the plates she's crafting - her own contribution to the chaos menu, her past and present combined, her future (The Bear) undetermined.

Back to The Bear with "Make You Happy" by Tommy McGee playing in the background - I feel like enough ink has been spilled on this scene, but honestly read the lyrics here - ack.

One small observation after Carmy says "I'll let you know" - in the background, Marcus looks completely defeated, Fak's suppressing a laugh or something, and we get Richie's "ooooooohhhhhhh!"while Carm gives him dagger eyes. Y'all....these are not great men.

Syd rightfully realizes she needs to get the fuck away from everyone in that instant if she's going to do anything productive with the inspiration she's culled from her day of exploration and calls in the favor from the kitchen. I love that it almost immediately cuts to her there with her emotional support spoon 🥺

The ravioli failure - i.e. the fantasy vision of the food she had on the plate during her journey day not matching the reality of what she can craft on her own = the fantasy vision of the restaurant/life she could craft with Carmy not matching the reality of what she can is forced to craft on her own.

Oof, taking a break for a few days now....

#the bear fx #the bear season 2 #the bear spoilers #the bear #carmy x sydney #carmen berzatto

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inbarfink · 3 months

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List of which songs are included on each Polka under the cut

Polkas on 45: "Jocko Homo" by Devo, "Smoke on the Water" by Deep Purple, "Sex (I'm a …)" by Berlin, "Hey Jude" by The Beatles, "L.A. Woman" by the Doors, "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" by Iron Butterfly, "Hey Joe" by Jimi Hendrix, "Burning Down the House" by Talking Heads, "Hot Blooded" by Foreigner, "Every Breath You Take" by The Police, "Should I Stay or Should I Go" by the Clash, "Jumpin' Jack Flash" by the Rolling Stones, "My Generation" by the Who

Hooked on Polkas: "Twelfth Street Rag" by Euday L. Bowman, "State of Shock" by The Jacksons and Mick Jagger, "Sharp Dressed Man" by ZZ Top, "What's Love Got to Do with It" by Tina Turner, "Method of Modern Love" by Hall & Oates, "Owner of a Lonely Heart" by Yes, "We're Not Gonna Take It" by Twisted Sister, "99 Luftballons" by Nena, "Footloose" by Kenny Loggins, "The Reflex" by Duran Duran, "Bang Your Head (Metal Health)" by Quiet Riot, "Relax" by Frankie Goes to Hollywood

Polka Party!: "Sledgehammer" by Peter Gabriel, "Sussudio" by Phil Collins, "Party All the Time" by Eddie Murphy, "Say You, Say Me" by Lionel Richie, "Freeway of Love" by Aretha Franklin, "What You Need" by INXS, "Harlem Shuffle" by The Rolling Stones, "Venus" by Bananarama, "Nasty" by Janet Jackson, "Rock Me Amadeus" by Falco, "Shout" by Tears for Fears, "Papa Don't Preach" by Madonna

The Hot Rocks Polka: "It's Only Rock 'n Roll (But I Like It)", "Brown Sugar", "You Can't Always Get What You Want", "Honky Tonk Women", "Under My Thumb", "Ruby Tuesday", "Miss You", "Sympathy for the Devil", "Get Off of My Cloud", "Shattered", "Let's Spend the Night Together", "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" - all by The Rolling Stones

Polka Your Eyes Out: "Cradle of Love" by Billy Idol, "Tom's Diner" by DNA featuring Suzanne Vega, "Love Shack" by the B-52's, "Pump Up the Jam" by Technotronic, "Losing My Religion" by R.E.M., "Unbelievable" by EMF, "Do Me!" by Bell Biv DeVoe, "Enter Sandman" by Metallica, "The Humpty Dance" by Digital Underground, "Cherry Pie" by Warrant, "Miss You Much" by Janet Jackson, "I Touch Myself" by Divinyls, "Dr. Feelgood" by Mötley Crüe, "Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice

Bohemian Polka: "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen

The Alternative Polka: "Loser" by Beck, "Sex Type Thing" by Stone Temple Pilots, "All I Wanna Do" by Sheryl Crow, "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails, "Bang and Blame" by R.E.M., "You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morissette, "Bullet with Butterfly Wings" by The Smashing Pumpkins, "My Friends" by Red Hot Chili Peppers, "I'll Stick Around" by Foo Fighters, "Black Hole Sun" by Soundgarden, "Basket Case" by Green Day

Polka Power!: "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls, "Flagpole Sitta" by Harvey Danger, "Ghetto Supastar (That Is What You Are)" by Pras featuring Ol' Dirty Bastard and Mýa, "Everybody (Backstreet's Back)" by the Backstreet Boys, "Walkin' on the Sun" by Smash Mouth, "Intergalactic" by the Beastie Boys, "Tubthumping" by Chumbawamba, "Ray of Light" by Madonna, "Push" by Matchbox Twenty, "Semi-Charmed Life" by Third Eye Blind, "The Dope Show" by Marilyn Manson, "MMMBop" by Hanson, "Sex and Candy" by Marcy Playground, "Closing Time" by Semisonic

Angry White Boy Polka: "Last Resort" by Papa Roach, "Chop Suey!" by System of a Down, "Get Free" by The Vines, "Hate to Say I Told You So" by The Hives, "Fell in Love with a Girl" by The White Stripes, "Last Nite" by The Strokes, "Down with the Sickness" by Disturbed, "Renegades of Funk" by Rage Against the Machine, "My Way" by Limp Bizkit, "Outside" by Staind, "Bawitdaba" by Kid Rock, "Youth of the Nation" by P.O.D., "The Real Slim Shady" by Eminem

Polkarama!: "Chicken Dance" by Werner Thomas, "Let's Get It Started" by Black Eyed Peas, "Take Me Out" by Franz Ferdinand, "Beverly Hills" by Weezer, "Speed of Sound" by Coldplay, "Float On" by Modest Mouse, "Feel Good Inc." by Gorillaz featuring De La Soul, "Don't Cha" by The Pussycat Dolls featuring Busta Rhymes, "Somebody Told Me" by The Killers, "Slither" by Velvet Revolver, "Candy Shop" by 50 Cent featuring Olivia, "Drop It Like It's Hot" by Snoop Dogg featuring Pharrell Williams, "Pon de Replay" by Rihanna, "Gold Digger" by Kanye West featuring Jamie Foxx

Polka Face: "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga, "Womanizer" by Britney Spears, "Right Round" by Flo Rida ft. Kesha, "Day 'n' Nite" by Kid Cudi, "Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum, "Baby" by Justin Bieber ft. Ludacris, "So What" by Pink, "I Kissed a Girl" by Katy Perry, "Fireflies" by Owl City, "Blame It" by Jamie Foxx ft. T-Pain, "Replay" by Iyaz, "Down" by Jay Sean ft. Lil Wayne, "Break Your Heart" by Taio Cruz ft. Ludacris, "Tik Tok" by Kesha

NOW That's What I Call Polka!: "Wrecking Ball" by Miley Cyrus, "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster the People, "Best Song Ever" by One Direction, "Gangnam Style" by Psy, "Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen, "Scream & Shout" by will.i.am feat. Britney Spears, "Somebody That I Used to Know" by Gotye feat. Kimbra, "Timber" by Pitbull feat. Kesha, "Sexy and I Know It" by LMFAO, "Thrift Shop" by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis feat. Wanz, "Get Lucky" by Daft Punk feat. Pharrell Williams

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hobicakess · 2 years

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HOUSEWIVES OF SEOUL: HOW THEY MET!!

SUMMARY: Being the wives of Seoul biggest criminals isn’t easy. It comes with multiple hardships and obstacles. Be ready to get a closer look inside the lives of Bangtan boys 7 lovers

RATING: 18+

PAIRINGS: Kim Namjoon x OC Kim Seokjin x OC Min Yoongi x OC Jung Hoseok x OC Park Jimin x OC Kim Taehyung x OC Jeon JungKook x OC

TAGS: yandere/toxic behavior, kidnapping, stalking, guns, blood mention, theft, forced marriage & relationships, drugs, knifes, Kleptomania (urges to steal items), obsessions, sex mention, aave ( African-American vernacular), (one night stand)

🏷 TAG LIST: @mwitsmejk k | @sovereignlizzie | @jooniesbubbie

A/N: none of these relationships are healthy no matter how sweet the first meeting MIGHT have been.

talk to the wives and husbands!! | wives profiles

NAMJOON & TINA KIM

Working at a trauma center was a hassle. Tina saw thousands of people everyday coming in with tons of different accidents and sicknesses. Her job required her to be quick, get your patient done and go on to the next. Little did she know the center she worked at was a little more corrupt then she intentionally thought. Of course she noticed the patients lack of responses on her clipboard, even the injuries screamed gang related, but Tina Snow didn’t say much because at the end of the day she was getting paid hella good, maybe better than the other nurses for some reason but, as I’ve said. She minded her business and did what she was told. One night she went outside for fresh air after dealing with another stab wound, she tried to light her cigarette but her lighter wouldn’t work.

“Damnit” she smacked her teeth, throwing the lighter in the trash going to head back into her work place. She needed to quick smoking anyways, before she stepped into the sliding door she was yanked back, hand covering her mouth, cold metal pressing against her cheek. Forced into a car, to Kim Namjoon himself, bleeding out from his chest, both knees. He was going in and out of consciousness, barley holding on. “I- he needs to go to the center bringing me here doesn’t-” the gun was pressed harder into the back of her head and she had no choice but to work fast, him dying meant she’d died too. “Sir? Sir? I need you awake okay? Stay up for me” her hands tapping onto his cheeks lightly. Then going to work successfully, removing bullet from his shoulder.

“You married." the barely conscious black haired man asked. His heavy eyelids staring at the beautiful brown woman "No sir" barely paying attention to the very attractive mans words. how could she with a gun pressed against her neck?

“You will be." was the last thing he said before he was completely out.

SEOKJIN & JASMINE KIM

Jasmine found Seokjin suited up to fish in a pond that she was request to research on. Any little disruption would throw her current data off completely. Heels and lapcoat she speed walked over him. "You can't fish here sir. This is private property." the man didn't even give her a look as he hooked his fishing pole together. Why was he in a 3 piece suit fishing? "Sir I'm going to have to ask you to leave or I'll call the police." He let out a mocking laugh finally looking over his broad shoulder a thick dark eyebrow raised at her. "Call em."

Going to put the bait on hook. Placing down her clip board, she stomped to him now standing in front of him. "I'd be dammed if you mess my hard work just to fish and catch nothing but a sickly fi-" she slipped on the dock. SeokJins hand went to grab her dropping his fishing rod to grab her waist before she feel in the water. Both of their eyes scanning each other's faces.

"The only thing I've caught is you"

YOONGI & DIAMOND MIN

Diamond worked around money, tons of it. Being either the bills that’s were thrown at her every night or the people she worked with throughout the day. She was a maid at a 5 star hotel during the daytime and it helped her a lot with her sticky fingers, taking things from rich people and they probably wouldn’t notice and if they did they’d buy another one. Diamond had saw Yoongi come in the hotel, he was finer than wine, and they were eyeing each other. He called room service and asked for her specifically. Long story short they fucked like animals and Diamond wouldn’t lie and say he wasn’t a good lay.

In the morning, Diamond woke up before the sliver haired man and while putting her clothes back on she saw his wallet on the middle of the floor, a part in her body was begging her to take it and as always it won, Diamond stole Yoongis wallet, watch, and suitcase full of clothes, leaving him with only his cellphone. She gave 2,000 to her little sister, and splurged the rest on herself that’s did include Multiple bills , walking home one day from the club she noticed she was being followed, after making multiple twist and turns before she was grabbed fully and yanked into the a car.

Diamond was laid flat on her back rope tied under and above her breast, hands cuffed tightly together along with her knees and ankles snug with duck tape. After she ran away three times, tazed jungkook and stabbed yoongi this was honestly for everyone's safety. Yoongi sat across from her watching her still struggle against her restrains.

"You don't give up do you?" With one last huff she blew her hair out off her face breathing heavily. "All I want is for you to return my money, AND, my watch, AND the clothes you stole."

"Thrifted it and gave the money away to charity." staring up at the basement ceiling. Leaning forward in his chair put his elbows on his knees holding his chin. "So the BRAND new Birkin bag just showed up by coincidence?"

"A gift from a sugar daddy." yoongi snorted running a hand through his hair. “You’ll forever be in debt because you can’t keep your childishness.” eyes raking her tied up form.

“Fuck do you think you are? The Godfather?” She struggled against the rope but they weren’t coming off any time soon. “Worst”

HOSEOK AND QUINN JUNG

Hoseok had always came to the underground to watch Quinn dance. She moved way more smoothly than the other female dancer, yet elegantly. Always winning companions against older dancers. She was quirky, had a beautiful smile and she loved dancing. 17 year old Jung Hoseok watched Quinn Banks dance swiftly to Straight Outta Compton owning the older dancers. He'd come to the underground just to watch her dance battles.

When the older dancers bitterly threw her money at her she smugly counting the bills before shoving them into her bra. Grabbing her skateboard she was quick to start on her way. Not before turning to Hoseok titling her head giving him a big smile. "You' my number 1 fan or somethin' ?" His ears and face grew hot knowing that he'd been caught. “Y-you dance very nice." Smile growing wider she held out her hand "I'm Quinn."

"Hoseok... but you can call me Hobi." ears turning redder.

"Okay Hobi, let's go get some ramen. We can share a bowl."

JIMIN & ATHENA PARK

Athena did a lot of hustling growing up, to just keep her and her sister alive. She was a bill collector for a short period of time, then she worked at a trap house slapping rubber bands on every 1,000 dollars. As her little sister got older she got more and more independent, she got a job, a little apartment with her friends, she went to school on 4 year scholarship. Athena wasn’t needed anymore and didn’t know if she should be jealous or proud. She lived in their parents old house, and she sorta stopped hustling though she did still sell and make product.

She’d always wanted to be a chemical engineer and her father even made her a lab in their shed and she did use that to her advantage making her product there and it always sold out great, she did feel a little bad about selling but money was money. her usual deals were to rich people, who were functional crackheads meeting them outside of some high end club called ‘winter bear’, she’d sold 10 bags when she was stopped. “So you’re the little lady taking all our customers?” turning her back hand on her piece at her side, “I’ve been around for years baby, not my fault your huff puff ain’t’ selling.”

He took another step closer, making her pull her gun out from off her side. He put his hands up mockingly “We’re not here to hurt you Doll, we just want our years worth of money.” taking another step forward and she took one back. “Funny we’ve been trying to track you for a long time and now your works been sloppy. What’s eating that little head up lately Doll.”

Athena didn’t know if this guy was serious or just another weirdo junkie, he looked a little too put together to be a junkie, but she did sell to a lot of put together addicts. “Come closer I’ll put a bullet through your head, and leave you to rot.” the man literally moaned out loud, the deep growl bouncing off the walls of the alleyway. “Go on and shoot me Doll.” The thing was . . . She’s never actually used her gun before, usually weirdos scram when she showed her piece on her hip and now she’s definitely met her match. So she ran as fast as she could away from the guy. It's honestly a shame she’d got caught.

TAEHYUNG AND TIANA KIM

Tiana was born a star. That’s what she’d always been told, that she’d be someone who’d be adored by all. Growing up she was pushed constantly by her family to do almost anything, she participated in pageants, was a child model, sung almost all the solos in church choir. She was always eager to please her parents and knew that even as she’d grown to an adult they would want her to be something great in life and she loved them so much that she became exactly what they wanted her to be. Around the age of 19 she got a job at ‘Winter Bear’ a jazz club where older men showed up, sometimes men and women her age came to see her sing.

She got a lot of admirers, sending her flowers and gifts but there was alway one admirer who’s gifts weren’t so cheap. Pandora bracelets, new designer handbags, dresses that were her exact measurement, sexy underwear, more expensive jewelry, even money to get her nails done in the color they wanted. Tina couldn’t take these gifts but her mother could see it as a man with money and interest. Maybe he could help Tina become the star she was born to be, so she went to her father and told him about her discomfort and he called her ungrateful. With both of her parents against she caved and accepted the gifts.

Tiana was getting ready to go home after a long day of sweating on stage. Her throat was sore and her hair was sweated out, all she wanted was to get home and take a long bath. Turing to leave her dressing room she yelped finally noticing the man leaned on the door frame with a bouquet of roses in his hand. Holding a hand to her chest she glared "Are you outta' your mind?." His stare was heavy on her “I do apologize for startling you darling but it is my job to check in on my employees.”

“Oh! Mr.Kim! I apologize for being rude, I’ve been having a stressful couple of days.” Tina was leaving Seoul for good to live with her fathers side of the family in the states and do broadway. “You do know I’m leaving for the states in a couple days, I have a job waiting for me. So I guess I’m stressed about leaving my parents.”

Watching his thick eyebrows scrunch deeply at the mention of her leaving. “How long would you be gone for?” he asked, voice deeper than before, almost scaring her. “I don’t know, maybe I might. . . permanently stay there.” she shrugged. Ther we’re plenty of singers willing to work at Winter Bear. It was a list club after all and it paid well. Pulling her purse over her shoulder she started to head out the door when Taehyung stopped her “These are for you!”

He held out the bouquet of red roses and she looked up at him with a smile. “Thank you Mr.Kim, I’ll put them in water as soon as I get home.” bowing, she left him standing alone in her dressing room. Little did she know accepting those roses meant she would be bound to him forever.

ARIEL & JUNGKOOK JEON

Ariel sat in a large room with her older sister Athena at her side. In front of them her husband and 2 other men were seated in front of them. "What are you talking about Namjoon?" Athena asked.

"We think it'd be best if Ariel and Jungkook were wed. For her safety of course." While Athena was seething, Ariel was as quiet as a mouse eyes planted on the floor as she tried to detach herself from the situation at hand and ignore the burning stare of her future husband. She can cry later. "So brought me here to ask me for my sister's hand?"

"Well I don't have to ask you. Don't take my kindness for cheap. Jimin already signed her off into Jungkook's care." Ariel noticed her sister's hand reach into her purse, fingers gripping the bedazzled dagger tightly. "Jimin did what?"

"It's just business Doll, and you're always talking about how worried you are for her now that she's living on her own. Now she has jungkook!" Jimin grunted when the knife sliced him directly in the shoulder. Jumping over the table fist landing directly across namjoons cheek. Jungkook grabs her, pinning Athena to the table when the door bursts open and other men came into the room.

"Jungkook take Ariel out please." Jimin huffed when his wife landed another kick to his chest yelling about how she couldn't go anywhere with him. Jungkooks hand on the small of her back leading her out the room, while her sister's wails faded.

"I'm pretty sure this isn't the way you hoped to meet your husband." hand grabbing hers placing a kiss on it "I do promise to treat you greatly"

What would she tell her girlfriend?

#bts fanfic #jungkook x reader #yandere bts #mafia bts #min yoongi x reader #taehyung x reader #kim seokjin x reader #kim namjoon x reader #hoseok x reader #jimin x reader #bts x black girl #bts x poc #bts army #bts x reader #ot7 x reader

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nyx91 · 11 days

Note

Do you have a favorite song at the moment?

If we're going by artists

'New Perspective' by Panic! at the Disco

If we're going general

'Stayed gone' from Hazbin Hotel 🤣💜💜

You?

Edit in the undercut

Ps. Some of my past favourite songs have been

Tears don't fall & 4 Words To Choke Upon by Bullet for my Valentine

Animals by Nickelback

I Almost Told You That I Loved You by Papa Roach

November Rain by Guns n Roses

TNT by AC/DC

The Unforgiven by Metallica

Davidian by Machine head

All Or Nothing by Theory of a Deadman

Swing Life Away by Rise against

Famous Last Words by My Chemical Romance

Black Betty by Spiderbait

Stricken by Disturbed

Twisted Transistor by Korn

I'm Broken by Pantera

Sixpounder by Children of Bodom

Pure Hatred by Chimaira

Holiday by Green Day

Waidmanns Heil by Rammstein

Uprising by Muse

96 Quite Bitter Beings by CKY

Paradise By The Dashboard Light by Meatloaf

Second Waltz by Dmitri Shostakovich (but performed in Cello by Hauser)

The Blue Danube by Johann Strauss II

Fur Elise & Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven

Flight Of The Bumblebee by Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov

Eine Kleine Nachtmusik by Mozart

Hall Of The Mountain King by Edvard Grieg

Experience by Einaudi

Golden Hour by JVKE

Shape Of You by Ed Sheeran

Love Story by Taylor Swift

Thunder by Imagine Dragon's

Buttons by Pussycat Dolls

Temperature by Sean Paul

I'm very everywhere with music, I could share all day but I'll stop here lol, I'm a very musical soul (and incredibly tone deaf 🤣🤣🤣💜)

@nox-ceur so sorry I went overboard with an edit 🤣🤣🤣💜💜💜

PPS.. I'm very versatile with music and love all types, if I like it I like it, I have a main classic rock background, (AC/DC/ Prodigy/Pink Floyd etc) my dad's influence (he was once a biker 😂) but I have a love of Tina Turner (my mums) influence growing up, I like heavier stuff too, my first introduction being Hand of Blood by Bullet, but I've discovered most myself, I love classical music too and even heavier stuff like Children of Bodom and everything in-between mostly, if a song bores then it bores me, if I don't like it I don't like it as simple as that, I'm not a snob about type or artist, I give everything a fair chance and if I don't like it it's just my personal reaction and taste, I never snub music because of genre or artist 💜

Like I said I can talk all day and names tonnes of music and songs I listen to power ballads, pop, punk, rock, dnb, metal, classical, and anything I forgot because it's 3:18 am 😂😂💜

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nikoldragonne12 · 28 days

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Updates:

Hello.

I would like to talk about some important things:

1) AUs (not only Despicable Minions you know the best, but also about the FNaF AU and UnderTale AU I almost abandoned because of how cringe their original versions from 2019 and 2020 were)

2) My own stories (Midnight’s Pack and The Alliance)

3) Redesigns & Rewrites and the Chibis

Alright, let's start:

1) AUs

Despicable Minions - I know I'm not uploading anything from it but I has a reason - I'm waiting for the 4th movie, so I can then use it and incorporated it into the AU. Right now, I only have some ideas of how to put Poppy in the Wilde family but only either if the info about her past will remain unknown or if she will turn out to be Lucy's relative.

Five Nights at Freddy's: The Dark World - Recently, I put out a poll whether you'd be interested in me talking about my FNaF AU. I still have to wait until the time runs out to see the results but even before it, I can tell you some history of it:

The first version I made was between 2021 and 2022 and I'll be honest... it was cringe. I only uploaded 2 artworks on my DA account before I re-decided and throw the whole AU in a dumbster. This year, I changed my mind and decided to return to the AU, however I changed it completely. Right now, the AU is a more serious piece, combining the games, Charlie's Trilogy, most stories from Fazbear Frights and Tales from the Pizzaplex series and the 1st FNaF movie.

I'll wait and see whether it's worth it to talk about the FNaF AU or not.

UnderTale: Next Generation - Another AU that ended up in a dumbster but I returned and remade it completely. I privated my old artworks but to be honest, I wish I've never made them. The ships were cringe, the changes I made feel weird now etc. If you wanna know more, just tell me in the comments of this post or privately in a Tumblr chat.

2) My own stories

Midnight’s Pack - A fantasy story about 5 teenagers who tries to find a way to befriend each other through working on a group project, even if they're different species, with different family backgrounds and different way they express their creativity.

Right now, I'm mostly focused on worldbuilding, however, I'm still determined to introduce you the characters and even the story. I'll see when I'm ready to finish at least the sketches. I wish I had more free time. What more can I say? I try to take my university life seriously. Maybe too seriously...

The Alliance - A story from an apocalyptic/post-apocalyptic future about a police officer who befriends eight girls with special powers. I haven't touched this universe much for a while but I definitely have to make some updates. At least I can show you sketches of their chibi versions I've made:

In these sketches, I included eight major female characters, the Humanoid Genetic Hybrids (girls who were artificially turned into hybrids between humans and Genetic Beasts).

Whitney is 15, Himari is 14, Sora is 13, Tanya is 12, Akane is 11, Rei is 10, Tina is 9 and Amy is 8 years old.

3) Redesigns & Rewrites and the Chibis

According to two polls I made, a lot of people would like to see me do some redesigns, as well as a lit of people like chibis, which is great - my tumblr blog definitely needs to have more themes of drawing and these two categories are perfect to have.

Before the second poll ran out of time, I uploaded both the sketches and the artworks on Reddit and Artfol. You can read more there:

And there are the sketches and the actual artworks:

For those who don't know, these girls are from the series Black Bullet, which I used as an inspiration when making The Alliance.

Hope you like them.

Alright, have a nice day!

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spaceagebachelormann · 1 year

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𝒎𝒖𝒔𝒊𝒄 𝒊 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆!

@likefolksong!! here it is love!! the bullet points are my favourite songs by them and i’ll definitely be adding more to this list!!

╰┈➤ DAVID BOWIE!

Ziggy Stardust

Magic Dance

Life on Mars?

Sorrow

Be My Wife

╰┈➤ TEARS FOR FEARS!

Head over Heels

Mad World

Sowing the Seeds of Love

╰┈➤ THE BEATLES!

Penny Lane

Yellow Submarine

Help!

Maxwells Silver Hammer

╰┈➤ MITSKI!

Goodbye, My Danish Sweetheart

Stay Soft

The Only Heartbreaker

Townie

╰┈➤ TAYLOR SWIFT!

Enchanted

Illicit Affairs

New Romantics

State of Grace

╰┈➤ SZA!

Nobody Gets Me

Tread Carefully

Love Language

╰┈➤ THE SMITHS!

Back to the Old House

I Know it’s Over

Jeane

Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me

╰┈➤ LAUFEY!

Let You Break My Heart Again

Valentine

Like The Movies

I Wish You Love

Magnolia

╰┈➤ FLEETWOOD MAC!

Big Love

Rhiannon

Gypsy

╰┈➤ THE ROLLING STONES!

Moonlight Mile

Paint It, Black

Brown Sugar

╰┈➤ TINA TURNER!

Disco Inferno

Tonight

What’s Love Got to Do With It

Proud Mary

╰┈➤ FRANK SINATRA!

Strangers In The Night

The Girl From Ipanema

Somethin’ Stupid

My Way

I’m a Fool To Want You

╰┈➤ ELLA FITZGERALD!

Misty

I’ve Got a Crush On You

╰┈➤ NIRVANA!

Heart-Shaped Box

Lithium

The Man Who Sold The World

In Bloom

╰┈➤ ELTON JOHN!

Rocket Man

i’m still getting into his music so i’ll come back when i know more songs 😭

╰┈➤ THE CURE!

The Lovecats

Let’s Go To Bed

The Caterpillar

Just Like Heaven

╰┈➤ BILLY IDOL!

Rebel Yell

Dancing With Myself

Cradle of Love

╰┈➤ METALLICA!

The Four Horsemen

Seek and Destroy

╰┈➤JANIS JOPLIN!

Cry Baby

Bye, Bye Baby

╰┈➤ THE RONETTES!

Sleigh Ride

Do I Love You?

I Can Hear Music

#marlee organization <3

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aesthetic-solar-space · 1 year

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Welcome to my Spotify!! Be on the lookout for new playlists/and-or/updated set lists at random times.

Working on it playlists

Pure Death

One Wolf Remains

Ghost Them

The Thirteen

Manon Blackbeak-Crochan

Dorian Havillard

Rowan Whitethorn Galathynius

An Assassin, A Slave, And Yet She Could Still Laugh

Aelin-Celeana-Diana-Lillian-Nameless-Fireheart

She Was The Fire

Kingdom Of Ash

Tower Of Dawn

Empire Of Storms

Queen Of Shadows

Assassins Blade

Heir Of Fire

Crown Of Midnight

Throne Of Glass

The Fall Of Two Stars

Finley Thompson + Ryder Evans

Finley Thompson

Ryder Evans

Natalia Barnes

Jude Duarte

Once A King Or Queen Of Narnia

Queen Lucy

King Edmund

Queen Susan

High King Peter

Dramione Godter

I Am A God

Ready To Kill God, Or Die Trying

Late Night Crazies

Plot Twist: Her

Dracarys

What, Like It’s Hard?

Footloose Vibes

Saucy

Tiktok Finds

A Book A Day Keeps Reality Away

Can I Get A Yeee-Hawww?

Mia Potter

Scooby Gang

Buffy Summers

Right Person, Wrong Time

It’s You

Fav Type of FMC

Breaking Up With Heartbreak

Let’s Love Like The World Is Ending

I Got The Power, What Do You Have?

Amortentia

Set The World A Flame For Fun

Bi Panic

INFP

Slytherin

Leo Power

Gone But Not Forgotten

Bottled Childhood

Andromeda Black Tonks

Severus Snape

Lily Evans Potter

James Potter

Peter Pettigrew

Lucius Malfoy

Narcissa Black Malfoy

Remus Lupin

Bellatrix Black Lestrange

Sirius Black

Regulus Black

Cedric Diggory

Hermione Granger

Daphne Greengrass

Astoria Greengrass

Neville Longbottom

Luna Lovegood

Draco Malfoy

Minerva McGonagall

Theodore Nott

Pansy Parkinson

Harry Potter

Thomas Marvolo Riddle

Newt Scammander

Blaise Zabini

Nymphadora Tonks Lupin

Arthur

Bill

Charlie

Fred

George

Ginny/Ginerva

Molly Prewett

Percy

Ron

Godric Gryffindor

Helga Hufflepuff

Rowena Ravenclaw

Salazar Slytherin

Padme amidala

Chewbacca

Obi-wan Kenobi

Rey

Leia Organa

Anakin Skywalker

Luke Skywalker

Ben Solo

Han Solo

Ahsoka Tano

Yoda

R2D2&C3PO

Valkyrie

Yelena Belova

Melinda May

Wanda Maximoff

Pietro Maximoff

Peter Parker

Bucky Barnes

Sam Wilson

Kate Bishop

Pepper Potts

Johnny Storm

Thor Odinson

Jane Foster

Bruce Banner

Nebula

Okoye

Leo Fitz

T’challa

Shuri

Steve Rogers

Tony Stark

Wade Wilson

Jemma Simmons

Daisy Johnson

Clint Barton

Natasha Romanoff

Finished playlists

Lemonade Mouth

I Just Am Who I Am

Summer Of ‘19

JoBros

Your Worst Nightmares Can’t Take Me Home

Bad At Love

DBD-DBS

Taylor Swift

Little Mix

We’re Gonna Be Someday

“Tina She’s Gay”

Show Them How Strong You Are

Next Chapter

3 Makes The Dreamteam

From 5, To 4, To None

No Place Like You

Hallelujah Your Home

Sabrina The Teenage Singer

Names Hayes, Hunter Hayes

Wildflowers On Fire

The Recs

Ooops

Are You Really Gonna Do That?

We Are On Fire! No Really Look!!

Collab Playlists

Bullet Journal Talks Vol. 1

We’re Okay

Feels Like A Better Day

Sisterhood Of The Traveling Books

Insanity Anonymous Club Vol. 2

Lost And Found: after hours

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bytedykes · 2 years

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COMPLETELY FORGOT TO DO THIS OMG, tagged by @bi-demon-ium HI GREBO!!! HI HI HI

rules: tag game! tag people and have them tell you your top ten favorite characters of all time (doesn’t have to be in order).

i loooove rambling i will ramble about each of these btw ❤ i am my own enabler (and procrastinating hw rn ahahaha...ha...h)

Will Byers (stranger things) - i LOVE will SO MUCH!!!! i love him soo so much he is my sweet can of peach preserves i want to swing him around like a ferret literally obsessed with him rn. everything about him makes me want to scream and cry and throw up every day im so thankful will exists nobody gets him like me. honorable mentions el who is practically one unit with will so i can legally put her on the same bullet point, and also all the other st characters who im also obsessed with who are not getting their own bulletpoints but i still want to acknowledge them bc i love them.... soo much.......

MAGNUS BANE (shadowhunters tv) - *long drawn out scream* tbh hes probably the first character i was like, really and truly obsessed with, like honestly magnus bane kicked off an Era for me regarding my derangement and how i participate in fandom. magnus bane was the catalyst of a whole gender awakening for me. magnus bane is my everything. i love him and his husband. yeag

Phoenix Wright (ace attorney) - OBSESSED WITH HIS PATHETIC BISEXUAL SWAG no further commentary needed. honorable ace attorney mentions go to maya fey and klavier even tho i have not gotten to him in game yet. i know imgonna love him when i do go back to playing aa4 so he counts

Bart Curlish (dirk gentlys holistic detective agency tv 2016) - THE MOST WOMAN EVER!!!!!!!! the peak of grimy murder women. they peaked with her here. we need more women like bart

Farah Black (dirk gentlys) - OUGH couldnt resist putting farah in here too bc shes also SUCH a woman i love everything about her she is perfect. honorable dghda mentions goes to tina and amanda and dirk and every other character in this show. shakes them up and down puts them all into the pear wiggler even

Diego Hargreeves (umbrella academy) - i love insane men with sharp objects and insane morals

Constance Contraire (the mysterious benedict society tv) - i love insane little girls who have plotted murders canonically on screen and have insane familial relationships

Ben Hargreeves (umbrella academy) - wait ok sorry to double dip again but i cant believe i forgot how obsessed with ben i was?? i spent literally 3 years blogging about him and drawing almost exclusively him?? i even created a crackship with him to torment my best friends with??? ben i am so sorry. how could i have forgotten. i love ghosts who are younger brothers who are big bitches

lowkey cannot even think of anyone else lmao. im gonna say Megamind from the movie Megamind bc i love that movie and i love him. me when autistic blue men from space <3

i genuinely cannot think of anyone else i only rlly started having Favorite Characters around age 10-11 but all of the guys i liked from then i dont care much about anymore so i wouldnt say theyre All Time Favorites. and since then i have been majorly into only like 5-6 pieces of media where i had True Blorbos, Personality Shaping Characters, so like. that might be it? im probably just blanking im sure ill think of a few more characters i love after i hit post on this but ehhhh whatever live laugh love <3

edit: TOOTHLESS HOWTOTRAINYOURDRAGON. HOW COULD I FORGET YOU

okkkk thats it i guess !! i love being so so normal about fictional character just me and my blorbos having a normal sane time

no pressure to do this but tagging @tmoblrina @toadstoolillustrations @urlocallesbiab @jonathansbowlcut annnnd my wifi just went out! so no one else <3 peace on earth

#tag game #TY FOR TAGGING ME IN THIS GERT I LVOE U THIS WAS FUN !!!#no one is allowed to judge me for my taste in characters btw i promise i have coolsexyawesomer ones i just CANT THINK OF THEM RN!!!!#but also some of these are SO coolsexyawesome already i promise. take my hand

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andrewmoocow · 2 years

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Little Homeworld Life chapter 10: From Russia with Hate, Part 1 (originally published on October 17, 2022)

AN: And here we are at our first, and only, big two-part episode of Little Homeworld Life chronicling the return of Jones, Bane Jones. Agent 00014 was a character I thought would be real fun to tackle again, and lo and behold, he not only gets one episode to himself, but two! Speaking of James Bond, this special episode shall take elements from Bond movies like From Russia with Love, hence the title, and The World is Not Enough. If you've seen either of these films, you might get a good idea of what will go down. Now that we have introductions out of the way, let's move on.

Synopsis: Bane Jones arrives at Little Homeworld to recruit Lapis & Amethyst against an alliance between Francis von Bowling and The Sickle.

Cast:

Jennifer Paz as Lapis

Michaela Dietz as Amethyst

Pierce Brosnan as Bane Jones

Estelle as Garnet

Deedee Magno-Hall as Pearl

Uzo Aduba as Bismuth

Shelby Rabara as Peridot

Christoph Waltz as Francis von Bowling

Diedrich Bader as Lennie

Wayne Knight as Milton

Amy Sedaris as Teal Zircon

David McCallum as G

Paget Brewster as B

Corey Burton as The Banker

Noël Wells as Black Rutile

Featuring Vladimir Mashkov as The Sickle

With Andrey Batt as Konstantin

Edward Furlong as Pavel

Seth Green as Leo

And Olga Kurlyenko as Tina

In an undisclosed part of Europe, the World Defense Agency's finest agent Bane Jones was on another mission. Under the orders of his superior B, Jones was assigned to meet with a European banker and discuss some recent unfortunate events that had befallen a fellow agent of the WDA on the line of duty.

"Ah, Mr. Jones, I was told to expect you." The banker greeted Bane as the agent walked into his office. "So nice of you to come on such short notice."

"Well, if you can't trust a banker, what has the world come to?" Bane dryly answered as he sat down at the banker's desk. "Now then, I trust that you have intel on the death of Agent Craig?"

"Ah yes, that one." The banker replied as he pulled out a cigar to smoke. "You recall the Crystal Gems that everyone has been talking about lately, correct? I can't seem to go a day without reading about them in the news."

"Why yes, I do." Bane responded with a smile. "Lapis and Amethyst are good friends of mine who helped me take down P.H.A.N.T.O.M in Los Diego. Wonder how they're doing these days?"

"Well, that's why I asked." The banker continued. "Word on the street is that von Bowling and his two cronies managed to escape prison, yet again, but this time they had a little help."

"Of course von Bowling escaped again." Bane rolled his eyes in annoyance. "We have got to find a way to lock him up for good and ensure he stays there."

"Back on subject, it would seem that those Power-Hungry All-National Team Of Madmen has allied with the Russian crime lord known as The Sickle." The banker revealed to Agent Jones, much to the agent's alarm.

"The Sickle, you say." Bane wondered as his eyes widened and his eyebrows arched. "And what could those two be doing together?"

"Unfortunately, that was all your friend could gather before his life was forfeited." The banker added morosely before he and Jones discovered a small red dot on the banker's forehead. "What is that, a ladybug?" Smacking at the dot caused two more to appear, much to the banker's horror. "What the? Oh no!"

"Get down!" Bane yelled to the banker, but it was too late. Three bullets were fired at the banker, killing him as his three killers revealed themselves. They were three men in black military garb, one fat, one short, and one lean. These three crooks were quite different in looks, but all of them seemed equally mean.

Though Mr. Jones was briefly horrified by the banker's sudden death, he kept a cool head as he pulled out his gun. "And who might you three be?"

"Ah, Bane Jones, so glad of you to visit." The tall one that Bane immediately deduced to be their possible leader declared warmly, even though he and his cronies had just committed a brutal murder. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am known as Konstantin, and these are my associates Pavel and Leo."

"It seems fate has conspired for us to meet, Mr. Jones." Pavel, who was shorter than Konstantin but far taller than Leo, added. "We originally plotted just to take down that banker and leave, but unfortunately, it seems you just had to get in our way."

"And what a surprise too!" the dwarflike Leo exclaimed. "As I'm sure you already know, our boss, The Sickle, has allied with your old friend Francis von Bowling not just to take you out once and for all, but to destroy those infernal Crystal Gems you're friends with too! I mean, how could you?! Selling out your entire species for those alien cretins who have doomed the Earth more times than I can measure my height!"

"I can assure you, the Gems are good friends and trusted allies of the World Defense Agency!" Bane exclaimed as he prepared to shoot one of the assassins down with his pistol. "Now, I'm normally a gentleman, but hearing such hateful words about my friends makes me very uneasy. And you won't like me when I'm uneasy."

"Challenge accepted, Mr. Jones." Konstantin said while dropping his gun and throwing his fist at Bane's face, but 00014 calmly caught it in his hand before twisting Konstantin's arm behind his back and tossing him into Pavel & Leo before running away from the three assassins.

"Stop him!" Konstantin yelled before the three gunmen gave chase. Bane made a diving leap out of the deceased banker's office that would usually kill any ordinary man, but years of experience have turned Jones into anything but ordinary. Sticking a perfect three-point landing, Jones raced through the streets to escape his pursuers, catching the attention of bystanders as he kept running.

"Terribly sorry, short on time here!" Bane exclaimed as he ran faster away from the three assassins as soon as the trio began catching up to him in an alleyway. However, the chase ended rather anticlimactic as a phone started ringing, and Konstantin picked it up.

"What is it?!" Konstantin yelled to the caller, whom Bane assumed to be The Sickle. "Oh my, already?!" he responded to his boss. "We'll be back shortly." Hanging up, he, Pavel, and Leo turned to face Bane. "We really hate to cut this short, I'm sure you were very excited to have an epic chase sequence, but we have to cut and run. The boss is expecting us."

"But don't you worry, we'll be seeing each other again soon!" Pavel laughed evilly.

"Come, my brothers, we must return to The Sickle at once!" Leo said as they marched out of the alley, leaving Bane alone to contemplate what had just happened.

"Whatever that Sickle fellow wants those three to do, it can't be good." Bane mused to himself before he heard a pair of high heels approaching him. Turning around, he discovered a beautiful Russian woman with pale skin and a goth-like fashion style consisting of a black blouse, navy blue miniskirt, a pair of black heels, a gold belt of crimson jewels, and short violet-dyed hair. "Pardon me, miss, but I'm afraid this might be too dangerous for you. Allow me to introduce myself. I am-"

"Jones, Bane Jones, I know." The woman said in a sultry Russian accent. "Your reputation precedes you, sir. Call me Tina, daughter of The Sickle. And I believe I could be of assistance to you."

"Daughter?" Bane gasped at the news that The Sickle had a daughter. "Hm, never heard anyone say he was a family man before."

"That is beside the point, Mr. Jones." Tina replied nervously. "My father has devious plans for you and your friends, but I believe I can be of assistance to you. Please, take me to your American masters so we can work together to stop my father and von Bowling!"

"I can see you're desperate, Tina." Jones responded, though he started getting a little suspicious of his new ally. "Okay, I'll bring you back to America, but you must promise to behave yourself. There's no telling if P.H.A.N.T.O.M or The Sickle are still watching us."

"Oh, you are most kind, Mr. Jones." Tina said before kissing Bane on the lips and almost leaving him behind in the alley. But as Jones began following Tina, he continued acting suspiciously toward her and started making a call.

"Good day, 00014. How was the mission to the Czech Republic?" Bane's gadgets provider G asked.

"Not very well." Bane replied morosely. "The banker became a casualty, but I did gain a new ally in the daughter of The Sickle. However, I feel like I must keep an eye on her while bringing her back to headquarters."

"Hm, sounds a little odd." G said. "I don't think we have any records of The Sickle being a father in our criminal database, but I don't really mind. Regardless, we should run a few tests on her to make sure she's telling the truth."

"Understood. See you again soon." Bane nodded before hanging up.

"Hey, what's keeping you?!" Tina called for her new companion from afar. "We're wasting daylight here, as you Americans say!"

"Don't mind me, dear, just making a call!" Bane hollered back as he walked towards Tina before taking her hand, and the two began planning for the return to the United States.

Meanwhile, in America, a couple of Little Homeworld Gems had gathered around Lapis Lazuli and Amethyst as they excitedly listened to a story the two were telling. "And then we were tied up and hanging over a shark pit while the villain had his cyborg wolf watching us!" Amethyst eagerly recounted.

"The wolf had, like, a surveillance system built into his nervous system, so that Francis would watch us die." Lapis added. "But thankfully, we found a way to get out."

"Ooh, tell us, tell us!" Teal exclaimed before Garnet, Pearl, Peridot, and Bismuth appeared behind her. "Hey, guys!"

"So what's all the commotion about?" Pearl asked about the gathering.

"I've been hearing rumors that Lapis and Amethyst once met a secret agent and wanted to know if they were true," Teal explained. "so I gathered up everybody spreading those rumors so they can learn they were right all along!"

"We all certainly had a fun time in Los Diego." Garnet smiled. "Maybe you'd like to hear our stories too."

"Yeah, like how Pearl got roasted by Neil Michaels!" Peridot exclaimed, embarrassing Pearl in the process.

"Or how this neckbeard stole a superpowered air freshener!" Bismuth added before she saw the faint shape of a helicopter approaching them. "Hey, what's that supposed to be?"

"Wait, is that a helicopter?" Peridot asked as the shape got closer to Little Homeworld. "What could it be doing here?"

"One second, guys, I'll fly up and check." Lapis said before she spread her wings and flew up to get a better look at the approaching chopper. To her surprise, the vehicle bore the initials WDA, indicating to her that an old friend was coming to visit. "Wait, Bane?!"

"Good day, Lapis, fancy seeing you here." Bane greeted the water Gem as he pushed open the helicopter door. "Bet you didn't expect to see me visiting, eh?"

"We were just talking about you!" Lapis responded over the chopping of the helicopter blades. "What brings you here, Mr. Jones?!"

"Just allow me to touch down so we can talk!" Bane responded before turning to his pilot and silently ordering him to bring the helicopter in for a landing while Lapis flew back down to the ground.

"Well, what was up, other than that helicopter?" Amethyst asked Lapis.

"It's Bane Jones, he's coming here!" Lapis exclaimed eagerly just as the helicopter landed behind her. As soon as 00014 stepped out of the chopper, he was quickly surrounded by Gems wanting to ask him questions.

"OMG, it's Bane Jones!" Teal Zircon cried. "I can't believe it, I'm meeting Bane Jones up close!"

"Please, ladies, one at a time; I'm here on business!" Bane chuckled as he tried to escape his crowd of fangirls and meet Lapis & Amethyst again. "Good day, girls, I'd love to stay over for a chat, but I'm on a new mission."

"Ooh, which one is it this time?" Amethyst asked. "Are we going into space, Japan, the Caribbean, Korea?!"

"All in due time, Amethyst." Bane answered before turning to return to the helicopter. "Come now, we'll explain everything at headquarters."

"Wait, Mr. Jones." Pearl stopped the agent in his tracks. "I don't think we ever got the chance to properly introduce ourselves, so would it be alright if me, Garnet, Peridot, and Bismuth came along with you?"

"I don't see why not." Bane agreed to Pearl's suggestion. "We'll need all the help we can get against our latest threat."

"Cool, spy adventure." Garnet grinned happily.

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's move!" Bismuth exclaimed as she boarded the WDA helicopter.

"Don't think I have much else to do this weekend." Peridot added before turning to Teal. "We'll be gone for a while, you guys. Try not to burn the place down while we're gone!"

"We promise. Bye now!" Teal responded as the Gems took off with Bane Jones on a new adventure in the helicopter.

A couple of hours later, the Gems had returned to Los Diego, and not much had changed since their last visit. Convention season wasn't in full swing yet, so there weren't as many people dressed in costumes based on their favorite shows, movies, games, and comics littering the city streets. By the time the Crystal Gems were taken to the World Defense Agency's headquarters, they were welcomed by its staff with open arms.

"So glad they accepted your summons, 00014." Bane's boss, B, said as she shook each of the Gems' hands. "It's a pleasure to meet you all. I am B, head of the World Defense Agency. I'm sure you're already familiar with Mr. Jones and our gadget expert, G."

"The gadget expert is named G, how fitting." Garnet commented. "So, tell us what we're here for, ma'am."

"Glad you asked, Garnet." B said as she and G presented the Crystal Gems with an image of a newspaper headline reading "FRANCIS VON BOWLING BREAKS OUT" along with security footage of the leader of P.H.A.N.T.O.M and his two minions Lennie & Milton receiving some help in breaking out of prison. "A few months back, the fiendish criminal mastermind Francis von Bowling escaped confinement once again, but he's got help this time."

The security footage was replaced with a mugshot of a large, heavyset Russian man with a large beard. "This is The Sickle, leader of a powerful Russian crime ring who has had frequent collaborations with von Bowling in the past, dating all the way back to the fall of the Berlin Wall." Another photo was displayed, this time of younger versions of the two criminals shaking hands with each other dated to 1989. "It seems the two are working together again, but who knows why?"

"Probably revenge." Amethyst answered. "I mean, we did kick von Bowling's butt last time we saw him."

"Yes, it's pretty obvious what Francis's goals are, but we have no idea what The Sickle is plotting either." G added. "Luckily, Mr. Jones found a new partner who should be able to assist us." This was when he cued Tina to enter the scene. "Gems, I'd like you all to meet Tina, daughter of The Sickle."

"Hello there, Crystal Gems." Tina greeted the Gems. "I have heard much about you from my friends back in Russia."

"Yeah, it turns out not many people like us there." Bismuth responded. "Something about violating their ancestral grounds for our own devious ends."

"Yes, if we work together, surely we can improve your reputation there." Tina stated, though Garnet looked rather suspicious at her claims. "Is something the matter?"

"It's nothing, Miss Tina. It's just my future vision giving me some ominous warnings." Garnet replied awkwardly. "Something about dark magic and nuclear weapons." Tina's eyes widened in horror before nervously scooting away from Garnet. "Wait, come back!"

"I have my suspicions as well, but I suggest we try to keep an open mind." Bane proclaimed. "Who knows, maybe she could be on our side."

"Maybe you're right, maybe you're wrong, Mr. Jones." G agreed with the WDA's top agent. "But in the meantime, pay attention, everyone!" He turned around to begin displaying the gadgets Bane would be using for his mission. "Allow me to introduce to you the devices you shall be equipped with on your assignment."

"You call those gadgets? Ha!" Peridot laughed derisively. "I once managed to hack televisions all across the country with just one communication tower! It was some very advanced technology, more advanced than your pieces of metal!"

"Someone's a little braggadocious." G wryly chuckled before presenting what seemed to be an ordinary pen. "Observe, this explosive pen." With a click of the button, the pen started beeping, and G tossed it at target on a nearby wall before it combusted. "I guess you could say the writing was on the wall."

"Leave the sassy one-liners to me, thank you very much." Bane chuckled at G's joke before his gadget provider displayed another gizmo.

"For someone who wants to look both stylish and deadly, I present this razor-brimmed derby hat." G proclaimed before throwing the hat at a few training dummies, slicing their heads clean off with little mess before it returned to his hand. "And over here, there's-"

"Um, is that a human nipple?" Pearl asked regarding a near-perfect replica of a human man's bare chest. Only there were not two nipples, but three.

"Ah yes, the golden gun incident." B declared flatly. "Our target was born with a third nipple that time; thus, this was designed so Mr. Jones could disguise as him."

"Can I take it?" Amethyst asked as she began taking the prosthetic nipple for herself. "This will make me a fortune online!"

"Go ahead, do with it what you will." G said before he continued with his demonstration. "Now, as I was saying, over here, this weaponized wristwatch has seen a lot of use before." He pressed a button that caused a multitude of gadgets to spring out of the clock face. "It has a variety of uses. It can cut wires, burn through metal with a laser, defuse electrical devices, all perfect for getting you out of a jam."

"Looks more like a Molex." Garnet said as she examined the watch manufacturer's name along the rim of the watch.

"They were kind enough to provide us with one to modify." G answered before revealing the last gadget on the itinerary. "And finally, our crème de la crème of the division's gadgets." He pulled out a set of car keys and pressed the unlock button, causing a very stylish-looking car to appear. "I've been making some modifications to your Rumbakini Tormenta lately."

"No way, a Rumbakini Tormenta?!" Bismuth gasped in awe at the cool car in front of them. "That's one of the sleekest cars in the world of automobiles, and here it is for me to tinker with!"

"Pace yourself, Ms. Bismuth. That is very valuable to Mr. Jones." B tried calming Bismuth down. "Care to give us any specifics, G?"

"With pleasure, madam." G replied. "I employed some Gem technology recovered by the government to modify this vehicle. Now it can fly, can become bigger on the inside, fire lasers from the headlights, and the wheels can cling onto most surfaces too."

"So cool!" Amethyst squealed in excitement. "Come on, guys, onwards to Russia!"

"Someone's a little eager to start the mission." Pearl laughed warmly as the Gems began boarding the Tormenta. "Hey, has anyone seen Tina anywhere?"

"Oh, sorry, my friends!" Tina exclaimed as she hurried towards the car. "Sorry, had to go to the bathroom and you know how much trouble those can be!" she awkwardly laughed, causing the Gems and Jones to stare at her in confusion. "Anyways, shall we depart?"

"Yes, let's." Garnet coolly agreed before Bane turned the car on and activated its new flight mode so it could fly off toward Russia.

"So you say that Jones knows now?" The Sickle grimly asked his three subordinates in his headquarters in the coldest parts of Russia. "I asked you to merely terminate that banker, and this is what happens?! Honestly, you three are just as incompetent as you are efficient."

"Please forgive us, boss, but now he's coming straight to us!" Konstantin exclaimed. "He'll walk straight into our trap now!"

"They are indeed correct, my friend." Francis von Bowling agreed with Konstantin while nursing a wineglass of gorilka. "Thanks to our spy on the inside, we know Mr. Jones has allied himself with the Crystal Gems against us."

"The Crystal Gems." The Sickle growled with his chin resting on a fist. "Once I see those foolish rocks, I shall make them pay for what they have done to me!" He then looked to his three assassins. "Konstantin, Pavel, Leo, bring them to me at once! Alive or otherwise!"

"Same goes for you too, Lennie and Milton." Francis said to his two lackeys, the ratlike schemer Lennie and his large, childlike partner Milton. "I want to see the blue and the purple ones again, in particular."

"Oh yes, boss, those Gems won't know what hit them." Lennie cackled while evilly rubbing his hands.

"Yeah, it'll be cool to see those Gems again!" Milton chuckled oafishly. "We won't fail you this time, boss!"

"I hope so." von Bowling replied. "If all else fails, we can rely on our mole to finish things." He then turned to some of his scientists experimenting on some highly advanced technology far beyond human comprehension. "But in the meantime, these mechanical limbs we found underwater should prove useful to us."

"Indeed it will, Francis." Black Rutile declared as she emerged from the shadows, much to von Bowling's alarm. "Oh, pardon me for the intrusion. You may call me Black Rutile, a fellow enemy of the Crystal Gems. I followed you from the Galaxy Warp to Russia because I need some help."

"What kind of help?" Francis asked suspiciously of his new visitor's motives.

"Help to build this dimensional portal, of course!" Black Rutile proclaimed as she unveiled some holographic schematics of the Vortexxer. "I think you and your little organization might have just what I need to keep it stable, and wouldn't you know it; you have almost everything I could want! So how about we work out a little deal? If you give me all the parts for the portal I need, I shall help you terminate the Crystal Gems once and for all."

"A rather tempting offer, miss." Francis smiled and shook Black Rutile's hand. "Just say the word, and I'll be there."

"Are you sure we can trust you, Gem?" The Sickle asked suspiciously. "How do we know you're not like the rest of your kind? You did broadcast your face to the world not too long ago."

"As I said to Francis here, I am just as much a victim of the Crystal Gems as you are." Black Rutile proclaimed, her declaration striking a chord with The Sickle before the Rutile brought up his criminal record on her visor. "Isn't that right, Nikolay?"

"Oh, you're good." Nikolay smirked at P.H.A.N.T.O.M's new ally in surprise and admiration of her skills. "I like you, stranger. Black Rutile, your name is?" He then offered some of his gorillka to Black Rutile. "I feel this shall be the start of beautiful friendship."

Elsewhere in Russia, the Tormenta finally landed in the streets of Saint Petersburg, followed by Bane disembarking with Tina and the Gems. "Be alert, everyone." Bane advised his female companions. "As you said, the Gems don't have the best reputation here due to past events."

"For crying out loud, one giant portion of the world gets wiped out to make room for a Galaxy Warp, and yet they blame the closest ones to the real culprit!" Lapis complained as the group left the alley the Tormenta was parked in to search for The Sickle. Along the way, the Gems discovered how much their technology influenced Russia to become slightly more steampunk than they expected. But they were also forced to be victims of all sorts of prejudice from the locals.

"You colorful killers may have won over the Americans, but we will never forget what you did!"

"Aliens go home!"

"Quit tearing our planet apart!"

"That pink beast would've been the death of us all! Hugging will change nothing!"

"Filthy lesbian rock humans!"

"Just don't pay any attention to them, gang." Garnet advised her teammates. "They only want to make us mad."

"Still, there are still so many things our people have yet to atone for." Pearl replied. "The Crystal Gems may have saved the Earth all the time, but we're just a small group of Gems doing good for the Earth. They probably just think we're a credit to our race at best."

"Whoa, no need to go that far, Pearl!" Amethyst cried while deflecting a bottle of vodka being thrown her way without even looking. "What, you really think that because we're not like them, that means we must be evil?"

"I mean, I stole most of the ocean to return home." Lapis agreed with Pearl. "Which led to hundreds either dying or nearly going out of business."

"Don't get too bummed out, and let's focus on the job at hand." Bane said before turning to Tina. "Now Tina, where do you think we'll find any information about The Sickle?"

"I believe we shall find our answer at the Royale Casino." Tina answered while gesturing to a nearby casino flooded with shady characters. "Number one wretched hive of scum and villainy in all of Russia! I have no doubt in my mind he might be there!"

"Well, how about that?" Bismuth remarked proudly at Tina's observation skills. "Come on, girls, let's get in there and find our crooks!"

"Indeed, let's get a move on." Jones said as the gang walked towards the Royale Casino, while Tina slagged behind to make sure none of them heard what she was going to do.

"They have taken the bait." Tina said into her phone. "Bring the boys out immediately."

Just as everyone expected, the Royale Casino was filled with criminal lowlifes in addition to regular people spending their money on slot machines, card games, dice games, poker machines, and roulettes. And just like outside, many of the Royale's visitors were incredibly wary of the Gems that had just arrived.

"Okay, everyone, spread out. One of these crooks must know where he is." Bane commanded his ladyfriends as he, Tina, Lapis, Amethyst, and Garnet walked towards a big poker table in the center of the room. At the same time, the other Gems interrogated the casino's visitors.

"Excuse me, sir, can you tell me something about someone called The Sickle?" Pearl asked a gambler who was cleaning out his opponents at a game of craps.

"What's it to ya, pointy?" the gambler scoffed while flicking Pearl's nose. "I don't fraternize with your kind."

"Well, I never!" Pearl snapped at the man and stormed off in anger.

"Pardon me, but I must request that you bestow upon me information relating to The Sickle if you please." Peridot politely asked another lowlife at a slot machine.

"I would if you sounded less like a nerd." The slot-puller replied disdainfully. "Now, shoo little girl, I'm on a streak here!"

"Hey comrades, any of you got any deets on The Sickle?" Bismuth asked in her best attempt at a Russian accent as she stepped up to a roulette table.

"The Sickle, eh?" a shirtless, muscular man in a pair of red trunks with a big beard and scars all over his bare & hairy torso answered. "Maybe we could give you some answers, if you beat us at roulette."

"Game on!" Bismuth declared as she pulled out a wad of dollars left over from the trip to Los Diego and handed it over to the croupier. "I'm betting a hundred dollars on 17 Black!"

"Thank you." The croupier responded while taking the cash, Bismuth not telling whether he was unaware a Gem just placed a bet or didn't care as the ball began rolling around the roulette wheel. "No more bets!" It was this close to landing on the spot that Bismuth had bet on, but unfortunately for her, it landed on 23 Red instead. "Ooh, sorry milady. Better luck next time."

"I must admit, you were good gambler. For Gem." The muscular man complimented Bismuth as she walked away.

Meanwhile at the poker table, Bane, Lapis, Amethyst, Tina, and Garnet were playing a high-stakes game of cards against a dozen other seedy opponents, each varying in skill and menace. While Bane played his cards right, both figuratively and literally, and the Gems were doing moderately well, Tina seemed to have no idea how to play.

"Oops, silly me!" Tina declared as she discovered she had yet another bad hand. "I do not seem to be good at this game!"

"That's a real shame, Tina, because watch this." Garnet declared before she unveiled her cards. To the alarm of everyone around her, the fusion had a royal flush. "Read 'em and weep, boys."

"Impossible!" Bane gasped at Garnet's hand. "How did you get a royal flush so easily?!"

"Future vision." Garnet boasted. "Been using it to cheat at cards with Amethyst and Greg for years."

"I knew it!" Amethyst exclaimed before they heard the doors open, followed by Konstantin, Pavel, and Leo stepping into the Royale Casino.

"Okay everyone, stop what you're doing now!" Konstantin commanded the casino's visitors while arming himself with a gun that looked like reverse-engineered Gem technology. "I want everybody on the ground except for anyone with unusual skin color! And no, I don't mean that kind of unusual skin color!"

"It's those assassins that killed the banker again!" Bane exclaimed as the gamblers scrambled around the casino.

"Hey, wait a second. Those weapons they're holding look a little familiar." Amethyst said as the three gunmen drew closer to Bane and company, followed by the other Crystal Gems racing to stop them.

"Are those my limb enhancers?!" Peridot gasped at the trio's firearms. "How did you get them?!"

"Found them in the Tunguska Sea near some big rock formation." Leo revealed to the group, causing Garnet and Pearl to all look at Amethyst. Last they remember, Amethyst was the one to dispose of Peridot's limb enhancers after they finally poofed her by dumping them in the ocean.

"Oh, come on! How was I supposed to know someone was going to confiscate them?!" Amethyst cried before the Gems were all held at gunpoint.

"Now then, our boss has some very special friends who want you taken out for what you did to them." Pavel declared. "So either turn around now and leave or else things will have to get ugly."

"Wait, everyone please!" Tina yelled as she got between the two groups. "Boys, boys, we can resolve this peacefully as long as you let my friends go."

"So that should be our cue to run?" Bismuth asked.

"You bet." Lapis responded flatly as Bane and the Gems ran out of the casino. But as soon as they escaped however, Tina immediately changed her tune.

"Thank you, boys, for that marvelous introduction." Tina smirked at Konstantin. "Anyways, you remember the deal I made with Bowling, right?"

"Yes, here is that book you wanted." Leo answered while handing over a strange grimoire that emitted a sinister energy from it. Tina just smiled evilly as she opened the book and began reading through its pages.

As soon as Bane, Lapis, Amethyst, Garnet, Pearl, Peridot, and Bismuth escaped the Royale Casino, they ran for the Rumbakini Tormenta and immediately began racing through Saint Petersburg in order to get as far away from the three assassins as possible.

"Thank goodness Tina bought us time!" Pearl exclaimed as the car sped through Russia. "I just hope she'll be alright."

"Who knows if we'll be alright, though." Lapis said as she poked her head out the window to discover numerous police cars driven by P.H.A.N.T.O.M goons chasing after them. "Quick, Bane, step on it!"

"Well, it's 37,500 miles to America. We got a full tank of gas and multiple gadgets, it's getting cold, and none of us are dressed for the weather." Bane declared.

"Hit it!" Amethyst yelled as Bane stepped on the gas, making the Tormenta go even faster. But unfortunately, the P.H.A.N.T.O.M cars started going faster as well. "Talk about putting your pedal to the metal, am I right?"

"This is no time for puns, Amethyst, we need to think of a plan!" Garnet yelled.

"Why don't we ask those fellows in the nice suits?" Peridot suggested while spotting a pair of men in matching black suits, fedoras, and sunglasses driving in a beat-up sedan. "Excuse us, but could you lend your assistance? We're on the run from villains here!"

"We'd love to stay and chat, but we're on a mission from God!" the first man declined the offer.

"Our Lady of blessed acceleration, don't fail us now!" the second man yelled as his companion drove the car away from the highway, which gave Peridot an idea.

"Wait, Bane, we need to go off the road!" Peridot yelled to the secret agent. "Just like those rad dudes in shades!"

"Well, I'm willing to give anything a shot once." Bane shrugged in agreement before swerving the car off the highway and into the Russian wilderness. When the P.H.A.N.T.O.M troops attempted to follow, all that did was turn them into a big car pileup along the side of the highway—all except for one.

"That little gremlin must have been watching too many movies!" Lennie cursed as he and Milton became the last members of P.H.A.N.T.O.M chasing after 00014 and the Crystal Gems. "Step on it, Milton, quick like a bunny!"

"Yeah, quick like a bunny!" Milton replied and made the police car start catching up to the Tormenta. "You ain't getting away this time, Bane!"

"On the contrary, my friends," Bane smirked and pulled out a pen. "you'll find that the pen is mightier than the sword or the automobile!" He then clicked the button and tossed it straight into the inside of Lennie and Milton's car.

"Uh, what's the pen gonna do, squirt ink all over us?" Lennie asked. His question would soon be answered as the pen detonated in his and Milton's faces, completely incinerating their police car and causing severe damage to the Tormenta in the process. Surprisingly, von Bowling's two minions managed to survive the explosion. "Okay, question answered."

"This ends now, criminal scum!" Bane declared as he pointed his gun at Lennie and Milton's faces while the Crystal Gems surrounded the two thugs. "Just tell us what your boss and The Sickle have planned, and maybe, just maybe, we'll go easy on you."

"Oh, so now you want to know?" Lennie coughed spitefully. "You know, you could've just asked earlier! Okay, fine, you got us. Our bosses are gonna start World War III and blame the Gems for it. Ya happy now?"

"Wait, World War III?!" Bismuth yelled in horror. "How could they do something like this?!"

"Easy, they wanna get rich." Milton answered innocently. "Once we frame you guys as terrorists, the bosses will be hailed as heroes by nuking your Little Homeworld friends and becoming rich from selling weapons. Pretty basic goals, you know?"

"Basic, but very personal." Lapis cracked her knuckles and prepared for a fight. "You messed with the wrong Gems, you guys!"

"If you want to harm our friends, you'll have to face us first!" Amethyst exclaimed and pulled out her whip, followed by the rest of the Gems pulling out their weapons in anticipation of the fight. Suddenly, however, a third party was about to come into play.

"Enough!" the familiar voice of Tina declared as she stepped into the clearing, her blouse turned into a unitard, and her mini skirt switched with a blue cloak. "Bet you didn't expect to see me here, Crystal Gems."

"Tina, is that you?" Amethyst asked. "Love the outfit by the way. What are you, some kind of sexy goth sorceress?"

"Oh, I am not just any sexy goth sorceress." Tina answered. "My name is actually Rasputina, descendent of the Mad Monk Grigori Rasputin, the innocent man you failed to save from Prince Yusupov! And now, I am here to avenge him by destroying all of you!"

"Okay, didn't see that coming." Lapis declared in shock.

"I certainly did." Garnet added. "Future vision, after all."

"So, you were plotting behind our backs all this time." Bane scowled at Rasputina. "I bet being The Sickle's daughter was part of the act too!"

"Indeed it was, and now I have you all right where he wants you." Rasputina smirked seductively before pulling out the grimoire that Konstantin, Pavel & Leo gave her and reciting a spell. "Klaatu barada nikto!" The resulting spell trapped Bane and the Gems in a dark forcefield that began causing them unending pain as Rasputina turned to contact her superiors. "Master, it is done. Mr. Jones and the Crystal Gems are ours. Awaiting further orders."

In Loving Memory of Robbie Coltrane, aka Valentin Zukovsky and Rubeus Hagrid

March 30, 1950 – October 14, 2022

I think that might be one of the most shocking endings I've written for this series in a long while. Tina turns traitor, the Gems and Bane have been captured, and none of them know yet that Black Rutile has made a deal with Francis and The Sickle! How can they turn this around? You'll just have to tune in next time for the second part of Little Homeworld Life's first and only two-part episode! Same Gem time, same Gem channel!

#steven universe #steven universe future #fanfiction #steven universe alternate future #little homeworld life #lapis lazuli #amethyst #bane jones #garnet #pearl #peridot #bismuth #black rutile

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kwebtv · 2 years

Photo

Lilyhammer - NRK1 / Netflix - January 25, 2012 - December 17, 2014

Black Comedy (24 episodes)

Running Time: 60 minutes

Stars:

Steven Van Zandt as Frank Tagliano / Giovanni "Johnny" Henriksen.

Trond Fausa Aurvåg as Torgeir Lien

Steinar Sagen as Roar Lien

Marian Saastad Ottesen as Sigrid Haugli

Viggo Sandvik as Sylfest Haugli

Mikael Aksnes-Pehrson as Jonas Haugli.

Fridtjov Såheim as Jan Johansen

Anne Krigsvoll as lensmann (chief of police) Laila Hovland

Robert Skjærstad as Roy "Fingern" Aass

Tommy Karlsen Sandum as Arne

Nils Jørgen Kaalstad as Dag Solstad

Tina Hovi as Yvonne Solstad

Finn Schau as politimester (chief constable) Arve Østli

Kyrre Hellum (season 1) as the police officer Geir "Elvis" Tvedt

Øyvind Blomstrøm (season 1), bass guitarist in El Cuero and drummer Svein Åge Lillehamre of the Lucky Bullets, who appear as backing musicians for (Kyrre Hellum's) Elvis cover-band in multiple episodes

Sven Nordin (season 1) as Julius Bakke

Harald Sørlie (season 1) as Baby Shop manager

Beate Eriksen (season 1) as Arne's striking mother

Jay Benedict (season 1) as FBI Agent Becker

Ingrid Olava (season 1) as herself

Thomas Grube (seasons 1–2) as Aldo Delucci

Greg Canestrari (season 1) as Jerry Delucci

Tim Ahern (seasons 1–2) as Robert Grasso

Kyrre Haugen Sydness (seasons 1–2) as Thomas Aune

#Lilyhammer #TV #NRK1 #Netflix #Black Comedy #2000's #Steven Van Zandt

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werewolfbansheelove · 2 months

Text

Funk

(I’m excluding all scenes with Sue and Will together because CRINGE!!! Also the sheet n things will be excluded.)

Artie, Kurt, Mercedes and Tina were walking down the hallway.

Mercedes: Is it just me, or does it feel like we have a real shot at Regionals next month?

Artie: The Ohio Show Choir chat rooms have all been buzzing about how Vocal Adrenaline has lost a step.

Kurt: I agree-- the judges know all of their tricks and now that we have Jesse, they’ve lost their best performer.

Rachel rush up to the four. Rachel: You guys have to come to the auditorium-- it’s an emergency!

They entered the auditorium where the rest of the New Directions were but what’s more shocking was that Vocal Adrenaline was in their stage and...

Rachel: Jesse? What are you doing up there with them?

Jesse: I’ve transferred back to Carmel High, Rachel. I’m sorry that it’s come to this, but you guys were awful to me. You never accepted me, you never listened to my clearly superior ideas.

Finn: Why are you here in our auditorium?

Jesse: The blogs and the chat rooms say that we’re finished, and that you guys are ripe to topple us. We just wanted to show you a something we came up with a few days ago to see if you agree with that assessment.

Bum, bum, bum (Jesse: Ooohh - Let’s go!)

Jesse: Steve walks wearily down the street with his brim pulled way down low Ain’t no sound but the sound of his feet. Machine guns ready to go, are you ready (Vocal Adrenaline Boys: Hey!). Are you ready for this, are you hanging on the edge of your seat? Out of the doorway the bullets rip to the sound of the beat.

Jesse with Vocal Adrenaline Girls: Yeah!

Vocal Adrenaline Boys (Jesse with Vocal Adrenaline Girls): Bum, bum, bum (Another one bites the dust) Bum, bum, bum (Another one bites the dust; And another one gone). And another one gone (Another one bites the dust, yeah) Hey, I’m gonna get you to

Jesse with Vocal Adrenaline (Vocal Adrenaline Girls): Another one bites the dust (Oooh, ohh!) (Vocal Adrenaline Boys: Yeeaah!)

Jesse (with Vocal Adrenaline): How do you think I’m gonna get along (without you when you’re gone?). You took me for everything that I had and (kicked me out on my own)

Jesse with Vocal Adrenaline Girls: Are you happy? Are you satisfied, how long can you stand the heat? Out of the doorway the bullets rip to the sound of the beat

Jesse with Vocal Adrenaline: Look Out!

Vocal Adrenaline Boys (Jesse with Vocal Adrenaline Girls): Bum, bum, bum (Another one bites the dust)

Giselle: Thanks for letting us borrow your auditorium, guys. It’s quaint.

–—–––

The kids walked down the hallway, quiet surprised and crushed.

Artie: It’s a Carmel High tradition. They psych out the competition a few weeks before the big show. They call it a funkification. Meaning they show us what they’ve got, and we spiral into a deep black funk.

Finn: Yeah. Yeah, we used to do the same thing to other football teams. You know, try and get inside their head before a big game, pull little pranks to intimidate them.

Puck: Yeah, well, the difference was our football team sucked. Those guys are golden.

Kurt: Come on, keep your heads up, guys. It’s going to take more than that to get us into a funk.

The club went to the choir room but was in shock as their choir room got TP.

They all started to clean up the mess, Vocal Adrenaline left.

Tina: I feel so violated. It’s like someone broke into our home.

Will: Look, it was just a lame little prank. And the fact that they’re trying to get to us means maybe we got them spooked.

Mercedes: Uh-uh, Mr. Shue. They aren’t afraid of anything. That number they did was fantastic. You know, which doesn’t make any sense. They had all that equipment. How did they even get in?

Sue (enter): I gave 'em all keys. Helped them do a sound check over the weekend. Hey, this way, fellas. Let’s punch out this wall here. They’ll pen up the space a little bit.

Will: Sue, what are you doing?

Sue: I can’t talk to you now, William. Drafting class is helping me redecorate around here. You see, I have Nationals over the weekend, and I expect to return with a comically large first place trophy for which I have absolutely no room in my trophy case. As soon as you hurry up and lose at Regionals, this choir room will become my official trophy annex. You know what it has to look like? Elvis' gold record room at Graceland. Except I’ll be wanting far fewer morbidly obese white women waddling around and crying.

Will: Sue, get out of my room.

Sue: Glee Clubbers, for you those of you whose hearing has not been damaged by massive doses of Acutane, listen up. In a few weeks, Glee Club will be finished. Now how do I know that? Well, I recently checked the odds with my Vegas bookie, who told me that you’re 40-1 underdogs at Regionals. You are going to lose, and your dreams will be crushed.

Will: Sue, can I see your trophy?

Sue: Sure, Will. Hope and dream.

Will (threw the trophy against the wall that made made everyone but Finn and Puck flinch or jump.): You dropped your trophy, Sue.

Sue: You know, for me, trophies are like herpes. You can try to get rid of them, but they just keep coming. You know why? Sue Sylvester has hourly flare-ups of burning, itchy, highly contagious talent. Enjoy your last few days here. This room is mine.

–——––

Will (enters the choir room, Rachel was sitting at the piano.): All right, guys, today I want to talk to you about regrets.Who has some?

Rachel: Giving my heart to Jesse, just to have it crushed like the stage floor at a performance of Stomp.

Quinn: Thinking "trust me" was a sensible birth control option.

Will: We all have them. I just finalized my divorce. I regret living in a relationship that wasn’t working. Letting her put me in these deep funks and not fighting back.

Santana: Besides creeping us out, why are you telling us this?

Will: Because if we lose to Vocal Adrenaline at Regionals, none of us are going to regret it. We will have given it our best shot and we won’t look back. But we will regret letting them get the best of us before the competition. Which is why we need to hit them back just like they hit us.

Quinn: So you want us to TP their choir room?

Will: Whatever the better, cooler version of that is. Like, uh, maybe-maybe we should steal their school statue.

Kurt: Their school statue is a giant bronze of a great white shark eating a seal pup. It weighs three tons.

Will: Okay, how about this one. All right, we get like...

Puck (voiceover): Everyone knows this is going to come down to me. Revenge, fear, the merciless infliction of pain. These are my kingdoms. First time I gave a wedgie to a kid, I was four years old. Finn and I may still hate each other for some reason, but we both know that defending the honor of New Directions is going to be our dirty job.

This leads to Puck and Finn lashing tires to the Range Rovers to all Vocal Adrenaline Kids. But leads them to Principal Figgins office.

Puck: Yeah, I did it. And I’m proud. All I did was step up and be a man. They got what was coming to them.

Shelby: A few of my students TP'd your choir room. You slashed the tires on the Range Rovers of all 26 of my performers. Those were gifts for our win at Sectionals. That’s 200 times 26 times four equals I don’t have a calculator.

Will: I’m sorry, you bought all your kids Range Rovers?

Shelby: We have a very active booster club.

Will: Look, nobody got hurt. It was a harmless prank.

SUE: That’s what they said about a young man in Chicago in 1871, who thought he’d play a harmless prank on the dairy cow of one Mrs. O'Leary. He successfully ignited its flatulence and a city burned, William. That young terrorist went on to become the first gay president of the United States, Abraham Lincoln.

Figgins: Enough. These students have committed a felony. They are hereby expelled.

Shelby: Look, I don’t want anyone to get expelled. I’m not going to press charges as long as you pay for the damage.

Will: You can take it out of the glee club budget. We don’t have that kind of money.

Finn: We’ll get jobs. Give us a month. We’ll pay you back, Ms. Corcoran, I promise.

Shelby: Fine.

Figgins: Ms. Corcoran, you are as wise and magnanimous as you are beautiful.

Shelby levees but Will whispered. Will: Thank you.

Sue: Well, you just can’t win, can you, William? You never have, and you never will.

––—–—–

Will wrote the ‘Funk’ on the whiteboard in Glee.

Will: Funk. Use it in a sentence. Come on. Rachel.

Rachel (sadly): This cheese smells funky.

Puck: That’s because it’s "from-unda" cheese.

Rachel: Shut it, Puckerman!

Will: Okay, okay. I was thinking more along the lines of Vocal Adrenaline has sure put us all in a funk.

Kurt: I’m so depressed, I’ve worn the same outfit twice this week.

Will: What if I told you I knew how we could shove it right back down their throats? New Directions is about to make their funk the P-Funk. We are going to get funked up. The only way to do that is to beat them at Regionals. Vocal Adrenaline has never once done a funk number. They’re a machine, a collective, synthesized, soulless beat. Funk is soul meets anger. Its passion is in its emotion. And Vocal Adrenaline doesn’t perform with any. So you have your assignment. I want you guys to turn McKinley High into Funky town!

Mercedes: You guys can relax, I got this one covered.

Artie: Cool.

Quinn: Hold on a second. I-I want a chance to get funky, too.

Everyone laughed at Quinn especially Mercedes.

Mercedes: Good one, Quinn. It even sounds funny when you say it.

Quinn: You said funk was about soul and anger. I have plenty of both. Look at me. Look at my life. I’m furious!

Mercedes: Let’s be honest. When white people try to be funky, you end up with KC and the Sunshine Band. (She laughs)

Artie: I love "Boogie Shoes."

Quinn: Mercedes' racism aside, I will have something prepared tomorrow.

Will: All right, Quinn goes first. (Bell rings, Will looks at Rachel.) Rachel, can I see you

in my office?

In his office. Will: You seem to be taking this Jessie thing pretty hard.

Rachel (angrily): I want him to be eaten by a lion.

Will (sighs): Jessie, cared about you.

Rachel: No, he didn’t. Our entire relationship was just some diabolical plan. They knew if they broke my heart close enough to the competition, that I’d lose my will to live, and then New Directions would have no chance at winning Regionals. It’s textbook; You destroy the heart of the team's heart and you destroy the team.

Will (voiceover): Sandy told me how to beat Vocal Adrenaline, and now Rachel was inadvertently telling me how to beat my other nemesis. Suddenly, I wasn’t feeling nearly as depressed.

——––—

In the choir room, it was time for Quinn’s performance.

Will: Okay, Quinn, it’s your day to show us your funky side. So, take it away.

Quinn: For some of us just simply getting to class takes a little bit longer. When you’re pregnant, you’re responsible for two lives. And you’re walking down the hallway oppressed by the man.

Mercedes (mumbles): Oh, my goodness, she is not about to go there.

Quinn: Hearing people call you fat. Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes you have to stop and hold that precious life and say no.

Artie: This is offensive. Who are these girls?

Quinn: We’re the "Unwed Mothership Connection". And that’s what we’re here to sing about.

Quinn: This is a man's world, this is a man's world. But it wouldn’t be nothing, nothing, without a woman or a girl.

Quinn with Unwed Mothership Connection harmonizing: You see, Man made the cars to take us over the road. Man made the train to carry the heavy load, man made electric light to take us out the dark. Man made the boat for the water, like Noah made the ark.

This is a man's, man's, man's world, but it wouldn’t be nothing, nothing. Without a woman or a girl (Unwed Mothership Connection: Without a woman or a girl)

Quinn with Unwed Mothership Connection: Man thinks about the little baby girls and the baby boys. And after man make everything, everything he can. Do you know that man makes money? (Unwed Mothership Connection: He makes money). To buy from other man (Unwed Mothership Connection: To buy from other man)

Quinn with Unwed Mothership Connection:

This is a man's world

Quinn (Unwed Mothership Connection): But it would be nothing, nothing, Not a one little thing (Nothing, nothing). Without a woman or a girl. He’s lost (Huh-uh) in the wilderness, (oh) He’s lost (Ooh) in betterness. (Huh-uh) He’s lost, lost somewhere now in loneliness.

–——––

Will entered the school but saw Santana sobbing. Will: Santana, are you all right? What?

She ignored him and sat down on the floor, still crying.

Will them approached Kurt. Will: Kurt, what is going on around here?

Kurt (closed his locker.): Coach Sylvester won’t get out of bed. We haven’t had practice in days. I’m fine because I have Glee, but these girls have sort of lost it. No Nationals means that four of the girls will lose their college scholarships. The rest are just depressed and confused.

Like some Cheerios had their hair all messed up. Brittany was walking past clinging onto Jacob Ben Israel who was weirded out. Brittany: Please, please, love me, please.

Kurt: It’s really hard to feel bad for Sue Sylvester, she doesn’t need another trophy but some of these girls, they really do.

––——–—

In the choir room, Puck and Finn were dressed up like gangsters.

Finn: Mr. Shue, Puck and I would like to show the class the true meaning of funk. With a little help from our special guest Mercedes.

She stood up and stand in between Finn and Puck. Artie, Kurt and Tina cheered for her.

Puck: Fasten your seat belts, people. It’s going to be a funky ride.

New Directions Guys: Uh-uh (Puck: Yeah; Can you feel it, baby?) Uh-uh bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam (Finn: Come on; swing it). Uh-uh bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam (Finn: Come on; swing it). Uh-uh bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam (Finn: Come on; swing it).

Puck: Yo, it's about that time to bring forth the rhythm, and the rhyme-. Imma get mine, so get yours I wanna see sweat comin' out your pores

Finn: On the house tip is how I'm swinging this, strictly hip hop, boy. I ain't singing this

Bringing this to the entire nation Black, white, red, brown, feel the vibration.

Finn and Puck: Come on; come on Feel it; feel it. Feel the vibration

Mercedes (New Directions Guys): It’s such a good vibration (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam). It’s such a sweet sensation (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam) It’s such a good vibration (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam). It’s such a sweet sensation (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam).

Puck: The vibration's good like Sunkist many wanna know who done this. Pucky Puck, and I’m here to move you Rhymes will groove you. And I’m here to prove to you (Santana, Rachel laughed). That we can party on the positive side and pump positive vibes. So come along for the ride making you feel the rhythm is my occupation. So feel the vibration.

Finn and Puck: Come on; come on Feel it; feel it. Feel the vibration

Puck: Finnie D, break it down...

Finn (New Directions Guys): Finnie D's on the back up (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam). Drug free, so put the crack up (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam) no need for speed (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam) I’m anti d-r-u-g-g-i-e (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam) (Rachel laughed). My body is healthy (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam) and rhymes makes me wealthy (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam). And the funky bunch helps me (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam) to bring you a show with no intoxication (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam) Come on; feel the vibration (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam) (Everyone clapped along with the beat.) Yeah can you feel it, baby? I can too.

Will: All right. Great job, guys, but that’s not funk. I mean, the group is called Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, but that is a rap song.

Puck: A kick-butt old school rap song.

Artie: Does it really matter, Mr. Shue? We’re so clinically depressed, we’re doing the wrong songs. We’re in a deeper funk than ever.

–——–—

Quinn was in a classroom, all alone then Mercedes entered sitting across her.

Quinn: Mercedes, I'm so sorry.

Mercedes: You may not be a minority, but you certainly get how it feels sometimes.

Quinn: For nine months. You’ve had to deal with this your whole life. People making assumptions, calling you names. I seriously can’t understand why don’t feel like yelling at people all the time.

Mervedes: What’s the point in getting angry?

Quinn: Because it’s infuriating. I hate all the looks at school. Don’t even get me started on Puck's mom.

Mercedes: You’re not angry. You’re hurt. You just need someplace safe where you can dig through all that rage. Get to the pain beneath it. So it’s decided. Saturday you move out of Puck's house and you move in with me. (Quinn looked at her, surprised.) I already talked to my mom about it. My brother went off to college and we have an extra room.

Quinn: Mercedes... she was so honored.

Mercedes: It’s cool. Us sisters got to stick together, right?

They fist bumped but Quinn slowly didn’t make it boom. But they both laughing softly.

—––—–—

Rachel walked down some stairs as her cell phone rings. She answered it. Rachel: Hello.

Jesse: Meet me out in the parking lot.

Rachel went outside to the parking lot where she saw Jesse. She ran up to him missing a smirk on his face, where Vocal Adrenaline throws eggs at her.

They all laugh at her.

Giselle: I hear you’re a vegan, Berry. The souls of those poor egg fetuses are all on your conscience now.

Vocal Adrenaline all laughs.

Giselle: Do it, Jesse. (Jesse had a eye in his hand.) Are you with us or not?

Rachel: Do it. Break it like you broke my heart.

Jesse: I loved you. He smashed the egg against Rachel’s forehead, letting the yoke drip down her face. Vocal Adrenaline got in their vehicles.

–——––—

Rachel had changed her outfit and told everyone what happened to her.

Rachel: Now nightmares of all of the mothers of the little baby chicks coming after me for revenge.

Puck: Oh, this is bull! Finn, Mike, Matt, come with me.

Finn: Right on. It’s time for less talking and more punching.

Will (enters the room): Hey, what’s going on?

Finn: We’re on our way to go all Braveheart on Vocal Adrenaline.

Will: Guys, violence is never the answer.

Puck: It is when the question is "What’s the best way to mess up that Jessie kid's face?!"

Kurt: Mr. Shue, Rachel's one of us. We’re the only ones who get to humiliate her.

The boys went to leave but Will snapped. Will: Stop! Get back here and sit down! (Kurt immediately did that.) Look, I know from experience that making someone else suffer doesn’t make your pain go away. You’re all amazing, no matter what Vocal Adrenaline says or does. We just need to find a way to remind ourselves of that.

Finn: We can’t just let Vocal Adrenaline get away with turning Rachel into an omelet.

Will (growls): We’re not. Rachel, dial Jesse's number on your phone.

Rachel pulled out her phone.

Santana: You haven’t deleted his number yet?

Rachel hands her phone to Will.

Will: Jessie St. James? Will Schuester here. You and Vocal Adrenaline need to meet at our auditorium Friday, 3:00 sharp.

––——–—

Vocal Adrenaline were in the WMHS auditorium where Rachel stood in front of them where there was a backdrop behind her.

Rachel: Thanks for coming. After your brazen escalation of our growing dispute, which we were willing to put to rest, we decided the only way to truly funkify you is to show you the one thing we know you can’t do. So enjoy.

Kurt: Roof off, we’re gonna tear the roof off the mother sucker. Tear the roof off the sucker, tear the roof. We’re gonna tear the roof off the mother sucker. Tear the roof off the sucker.

Finn and Mercedes with Tina and New Directions (with Kurt): You’ve got a real type of thing going down, getting down. There’s a whole lot of rhythm going round. (You’ve got a real type of thing going down, getting down There’s a whole lot of rhythm going round)

Finn, Mercedes, and Tina with New Directions: We want the funk, give up the funk. We need the funk, we gotta have that funk we want the funk, give up the funk. We need the funk, we gotta have that funk Na-na-na-na-na. Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, ow. Na-na-na-na-na. Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, ow

Artie and Mercedes with New Directions: We’re gonna turn this mother out (New Directions: We want the funk, give up the funk). We’re gonna turn this mother out (New Directions: We need the funk, we gotta have that funk) (Mercedes: Gotta turn this mother out). We’re gonna turn this mother out (New Directions: We want the funk, give up the funk). We’re gonna turn this mother out (New Directions: We need the funk, we gotta have that funk) (Mercedes: We're gonna turn this mother out hey!)

Finn and Mercedes with Tina and New Directions: Na-na-na-na-na, Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, ow (Mercedes: Doo doo doo doo na yeah). Na-na-na-na-na (Mercedes: Da-na-ta-ta-na ..Sing it now!) Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, ow (New Directions: You’ve got a real type of thing going down, gettin' down). You’ve got a real type of thing going down, gettin' down. There’s a whole lot of rhythm going down (Mercedes: Whole a lot of rhythm going down down get it!). You’ve got a real type of thing going down, gettin' down There’s a whole lot of rhythm going round (Mercedes: A real type of thing).

Mercedes:

Yeeaahh!

Finn and Tina with New Directions: We want the funk, give up the funk We need the funk, we gotta have that funk (Mercedes: Funky!) We want the funk, (Mercedes: Yeahhh!). Give up the funk, we need the funk, we gotta have that funk. We want the funk (Kurt: We’re gonna tear the roof off the mother sucker) (Mercedes: Funky funky!) (Kurt: Tear the roof off the sucker). Give up the funk (Kurt: Tear the roof off) We need the funk (Kurt: We’re gonna tear the roof off the mother sucker). (Mercedes: Get down man!). We gotta have that funk (Kurt: Tear the roof off the sucker). (Mercedes: Heey) We want the funk, give up the funk, we need the funk, we gotta have that funk.

Mercedes: Heeeeeyyy!

Puck: See you punks at Regionals.

Jesse: They did a funk number. We’ve never been able to pull off a funk number.

Giselle: Well, that’s because we’re soulless automatons.

Jesse: I’m so depressed.

#transcript #glee

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