#best friends to loves harry styles

[eveningepiphany]

lessons | H.S

my masterlist <3

summary: sitting on harrys couch, he gets it out of you that you have never intimately touched someone else, and he offers straight up for you to learn off him.

warnings: SMUT, m receiving handjob and blowjob, heaps of dirty talk and praise, gentle dom! harry, virgin! y/n

a/n: I have to be up early in the morning so I haven’t done a final proofread since it’s nearly midnight, so sorry for any mistakes. this trope with h makes me weak at the knees 😵‍💫

———

“No way…” His tone is hard to dissect, it’s filled with emotions.

You purse your lips, looking to the grey of his couch beneath you— immediately regretting admitting the truth to him.

He’s your best friend, but god you do not venture into territory like this. Hence his shock, and disbelief at the admission that had come out of your mouth.

You were close next to his side while chatting that evening, a romantic comedy playing unnoticed in the background.

He joked briefly about himself, something about his… size. You hardly recall what he’d exactly said about it, other than him remarking about how ‘large’ he is.

Your eyes widened at the words, and he smiled a bit at the reaction.

It’s rare he gets to see you flustered, and if an opportunity has presented itself he can’t help but use it.

“What? Does that rile you up a bit?” He’d smirked, green eyes trying to find yours.

“No!” You’d hissed, glancing at the TV.

“Why’d you go all shy then?”

“Because you’re talking about your dick, and I don’t wanna know!”

He laughed at your rushed response, “anyone would’ve thought you’d never seen one in your life.”

Your response is delayed, in all truth you had— briefly, an unwanted showing at a college party, one of your ‘friends’ drunkenly trying to get in your pants. He’d pretty much flashed you before you got the fuck out of there. So how much it counts, is more the part you were hardly sure about.

“Of course I have.” You’d said, trying with your all to sound convincing— like as if you’d done more than just see one.

But the energy had shifted the second you’d paused, and the words pouring out your mouth were not helping your case.

“Wait— have you not actually seen a dick bef—“ his brows were furrowed, lips quirked, still unsure how serious you were until you cut him off.

“God, no— yes— shut up!“ you’d cupped your hands over your eyes, wishing to go back and just laugh at his stupid joke instead of getting all flustered and ending up here.

“You haven’t?” He pushed a more little.

A sigh had pushed out your nose in defeat, “hardly.”

So now it leaves you here, staring anywhere but at him as he mutters a ‘no way’ to you.

You felt more than embarrassed, you were mortified at this point. You and Harry had been friends since your first year of primary school, so to have him find out something you have kept to yourself for so long and was so personal was terrifying.

Having never really covered this topic with you, he was undeniably curious, “so you’ve never touched one…?”

“You’re making this so much worse.” You scrunch your eyes closed.

“Ok… so that’s a no.” He laughs a little, and all you could do was nod. He nudges you with his shoulder. “Hey, yknow it’s ok right? M’not judging you or anythin’”

You take a careful glance to see his expression, it’s sincere and you take in a careful breath.

“I know. It’s embarrassing though.” You advert your gaze back to a thread on the soft fabric of your sweatpants.

“S’not embarrassing love, I was just surprised. You’re a gorgeous girl— y’know I think that— so I just assumed some guy was lucky enough to have been with you— intimately that is.” He says casually, then adding, “and y’ve had a few guys, so I just thought…”

Your stomach fluttered at his compliments, even though he never shied away from giving them to you.

“Those relationships never lasted long enough for us to, uh, get to that point.” You clarified, clearing your throat.

“I don’t wan’ you to feel uncomfortable, or like I forced you into talkin’ ‘bout it by the way.” He quickly clarifies, “jus’ was curious, is all.”

You find the courage to lock eyes with him again, “i wish I wasn’t so… inexperienced— I really do. But it’s beyond the point of awkward when people find out, you know?”

You were on a rant now, he’d officially opened the door to all your thoughts, “and now it’s like, I have no real way to learn. Unless I go out and hookup with a random, but I’m not desperate enough for that yet— nor comfortable with the idea.”

“And being a uh, a virgin this late in college is— not really common. So automatically people kind of get weird about it.”

He wished he could say the hardening of his cock was just from the fact they were talking about sex— and that he had been sticking to his hand for a while now— but he knew that the real reason was much more related to you, which he felt almost guilty about. You sitting here opening up and all his prick can think about is how gentle and unsure your hands would be around him.

Keyword being almost.

“Y’know you can always touch me… right?” The words spilled from his mouth before he could stop them, a vague innuendo laying between each syllable.

“I- pardon?” You stuttered, uncertain if he meant what he just said in the way your brain had processed it.

“Like, if you ever want to learn or do anything. I’m here.”

Your eyes fell to his groin without a thought behind it, and you could see he was perked up in his sweats. He watched immediately as your gaze travelled down there.

“Just an offer. Don’t have t’take up on it now— or ever if y’don’t wan—“

In the few seconds of him talking you’d got a rush of confidence to do this. He’s practically handing himself to you on a silver plater.

“Can I?” The words were a fast question, a lingering hope behind them.

He almost groaned at them, the fact you were comfortable enough to be seemingly following through with his offer.

“‘Course you can, darling.”

You shuffled a little next to him, reaching to brush your hand over the fabric covering his groin, watching as he lifted his hips so you could pull his pants down.

You did it carefully, and your lips parted with a little gasp as his cock slipped out— he wasn’t wearing any underwear.

The tip of him was flushed to the same colour of his lips, and he wasn’t kidding about his size. At the base he had neatly trimmed hairs with a tiny curl to them.

You glanced back up at him, unsure what to do now. You almost had whiplash, because a minute ago you have never thought you’d see— let alone be able to touch his cock— and now you seem to have freedom to do whatever you please with it.

“S’alright darling, touch me however you want.” He reassured you, pressing his shoulder into you again. Solidifying the fact you really could do whatever you wanted with him.

Your hand hesitated a bit as you reached out to run a gentle finger on the underside of him.

Your hands were so fucking soft, softer than he even imagined, so he knew already this was going to kill him.

Going off the only kind of sexual experience you had— which is obviously with yourself— you didn’t want to be too gentle, so you wrapped your hand around the base of him and gave an experimental pump of his cock.

He groaned at the contact, not expecting it in the slightest. You were surprised at the sound that you’d just elicited from him, and the way he jutted his hips up to your touch.

“Fuck, sorry.” He carefully apologised, not wanting to scare you off. You were anything but scared though, more so fascinated, and frankly a bit turned on.

You said nothing as you continued to touch him, trailing your fingers up to the head of him. A small drop of precum seeping out.

He looks at you intently as you stare, “taste it, if y’want, love.”

With his prompt, you swipe your thumb gingerly across his tip, gathering up the few beads and lifting it to your lips.

It was a small portion, but he watched to see your micro-expressions at the taste. It was nice—really nice, in all honesty— compared to what you expected.

It was easy to see on your face you wanted more.

“Can I, uhm…” you paused, trying to figure out a way to word it, “taste you…?”

He pinched his eyes closed, running a hand through his now unruly hair. It was hard to control himself, he just wanted to pin you down and please you himself— thank you for making him feel so good already. Wrap his mouth around your probably puffy clit and make you come before he showed you what it feels like to be fucked.

Obviously he couldn’t do that. And not that he wanted to act like you were a delicate flower, but he was trying to keep you feeling comfortable— and that everything could progress at your pace.

“Jesus, love. ‘Course y’can.” He groaned, struggling to peel open his eyes.

“Can you tell me how you… how you like it? Show me even?” You ask, gently.

He shifts his hips, “Anything you give me I will like. But I can kind of direct you, tell you what feels good, I guess? If I can form a coherent thought with y’mouth ‘round me.”

You nod slowly, feeling the wetness gather between your thighs at his praise.

Deciding it would be easier, you slip off the couch onto your knees, placing yourself between his legs. You felt intimidated a little, the sight of his pulsing cock this close infront of you.

Yet still, you were salivating over it. Grateful you had a secure enough relationship to be able to do this. Especially with someone you felt so much for.

You glanced up at him, watching as he tracked your every move. He could’ve moaned aloud at your soft eyes looking up at him like that.

Your hand runs up his leg, resting to bracket the side of his thigh as you lean forward, gently kissing his tip.

A puff of air sounded from his lungs, egging you on just enough to keep going. You swept your tongue over the same spot you kissed, but trailing it down along his shaft.

You felt a little clueless as to what you were doing, in all honesty. So you glanced up, looking for a prompt on what to do next.

You wished it would just come to you naturally. Obviously in all the porn, they took the cock all the way down their throat, bobbing their heads and sucking like it was on their life. But you had no idea what your limits were, and how realistic half that shit is anyway.

“Sorry…” you muttered looking away, feeling your face flush with a tinge of embarrassment.

“God, Y/N. Don’t apologise, doing well for me baby. Just take me into your mouth, if you can.”

“Ok, I just want to make you feel good. So please tell me if I do something that has the opposite effect.” You sigh.

“I will, even though I highly doubt I’ll need too. Y’have such a nice mouth. Never knew it’d feel so good wrapped ‘round my cock.” He says this while cupping your cheek, and a part of you wants to just bend over and let him take you right there on the floor.

You never knew it could be like this. So open and filled with reassurance.

You lowered your lovely warm mouth back over him, sliding his tip past your lips, flattening your tongue on the underside of his smooth head.

“Fuck, so warm.” He whispers before continuing, “try and suck on me, hollow out those pretty little cheeks.”

You slide further down before you do, filling up your mouth with him, “don’t take more than you can handle sweet girl, use your hand for the rest.”

You nod around him when he says that, merely to show your taking his advice, but he groans loudly as you do.

So you do as he asks, wrapping your hand around what’s left of him and begin to suck.

He’s immediately lost in the sensation, digging warm fingers into the grey of the couch beneath him.

He can’t lie, you’re an attentive learner. You listen to the sounds he makes as you try something, like pulling your mouth all the way to the tip before gliding back down— or how you take note the way his body reacts with a shudder when you squeeze the base of his cock with your warm hand.

His directions are quickly falling away, into the back of his brain as you let your mouth explore his cock. It seems you’re fairing ok, now you’ve had proper encouragement.

You had been so in your head about making a mistake, now that you finally weren’t as worried about that, you could just focus on his body. Be intune with his reactions.

“Baby, you are so good at this.” He moans, driving his ass into the couch to keep from bucking up into your throat.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, the image of him fucking your throat comes to fruition, and he has to shove it away. Leave it as something to jerk off to later, when he starts to miss your hot mouth, which probably won’t take all that long.

“Told me y’never touched anyone like this before. Think that’s a lie, how good your little tongue is working me. Y’gonna have me coming soon.”

His words bring a flutter to your core, the way his accent is all husky from pleasure. Pleasure you’re giving him.

“Such a good girl f’me, hmm?” He asks, and you hum a yes. The vibration of it flys through his cock, constricting around his spine as he moans out.

He stares down at you, eyes glazed with pleasure. Spit is glistening around your chin, and no doubt when you pull off his cock will be coated in a thick layer of it.

“Christ, faster for me baby. Moan all around my dick.” His thoughts start to spill from his lips, and your brain lags trying to process how filthy they all are.

Not that you’re surprised he’s like this whatsoever, but to be hearing it with your own ears, and it to be directed toward you makes it a whole other ballgame.

“This mouth is mine.” He curses, and you dig your fingers into his thigh as you feel your cunt throb.

“All fuckin’ mine. Trained up just for me.” He groans, and you slip off him just enough to get a few words in.

“Yours, Harry. Please… pull my hair.” You plead, wrapping your mouth over him after a short second, quickly jumping back into the fast rhythm you’d built up.

“Fuck, not sure gonna be able to be gentle f’you if I do that, darling.” He hisses, clenching his fist, imagining your hair between it.

You whine around his cock, looking up at him, desperate for it.

At this point, you don’t care. He can be rougher. You pretty much have instilled every ounce of trust you have in him— which you had done prior to this, but especially now.

Your hand scrapes up his shirt, nails clawing at his taut abs, pleading for this.

He thinks he could almost just die, seeing your needy side quickly being unleashed per his undoing.

His resolve caves, his hand coming to nestle into the hair close to your scalp. You moan at the feeling of it merely being there, his cock pulsing on your tongue.

“More dirty than I ever could’ve thought, Y/N. Wanting me to pull your hair like this, begging. M’trying to be gentle with you— making it so hard for me.”

You suck harder, and he sticks to his word of being careful, his hand tight around your hair— but never forcing you down.

Even though you don’t think you would have minded if he did, he was clearly getting close.

“Love, shit!” His legs were shaking, and his face was flushed a gorgeous pink.

“You’re gon’ make me come.” He grunted, “Hard.”

He told you this so you could pull off, maybe finish him with your hand or something. But you didn’t budge, you just kept sucking and sliding your perfect tongue all over him.

He couldn’t imagine finishing this fast with anyone else but you. Your messy, virgin mouth making him nothing short of a train wreck.

“Y/N, baby, I’m— holy fucking shit—“ you squeezed his balls in you hand, and he was hurtling toward his high.

“If you don’t pull off I’m, god, god I’m gonna come down your throat.” He rushes out, whole body ready to snap.

You don’t budge, you take as much of his dick as you can, wanting to feel his warm come shoot into your mouth.

The second he realised you wanted him to finish in your mouth was the same second he felt an indescribable pleasure hit him.

His jaw dropped, and stomach muscles clenched so hard he would’ve keeled over if he was standing up.

You pulled back. Hand coming to stroke where your mouth had left. But you kept his tip in, which was still spurting his come, placed on you tongue.

It coated it, dripping down onto your bottom lip and chin. And just the sight of it would be enough to get him off for the next 5 years.

His Y/N, his best friend, who he not even 10 minutes ago found out was a virgin, had just taken his load half down her throat and half smeared all over her tongue.

“Fuck me, baby. That is so unbelievably hot.” He almost whined, completely out of breath.

“Rub it in with my cock. Then swallow it, love.” He said, watching as you immediately did so, coating your tongue with him.

“Such a good girl. Swallow.”

You did that too. Placing a little kiss on his thigh after, and standing up.

Your knees felt a little weak, and you sat down next to him again.

He reaches over, kissing you without shame of where your mouth just was.

His hand slipped to your waistband of your probably soaked-through sleep shorts, and you halted it, “You don’t have to, Harry.”

“I know love, I want too though. But if you don’t, then that’s ok.” He caresses your hip.

You take your bottom lip between your teeth, thinking. You do. But at the same time, maybe not just yet.

Despite what just unfolded on his living room couch, you still feel almost shy. Not ready.

“Maybe not yet… that was— it was a lot. And very unplanned.” You purse your lips, worried he’ll be offended or something.

“Of course, darling.” He scoots his hand away, laying it on your cheek instead.

“We’ll take it at whatever pace you want.” He smiles, kissing a quick peck onto your lips.

“How about, i turn that off,” he gestures to the TV, “‘n we go cuddle?”

“That sounds great, H. Thank you. For everything.”

He chuckles, plucking his sweatpants from the floor and slipping them over his legs, “I should be thanking you. Thank you for trusting me. And for giving me probably the best orgasm I’ve had in ages.”

You flush, harder than you’d like to admit. Maybe this won’t be a bad impulsive arrangement after all.

———

#harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles smut #harrystyles smut #harry styles oneshot #best friend!harry #best friends to lovers #fanfiction #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fluff #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #fanfic #dom harry styles #virgin!reader #gentle love #soft harry #harry styles blurb #harry styles writing #harry styles x you #harrystyles x reader

[lilystyles]

when not in rome.

a @lilystyles blurb!

my masterlist & no strings attached masterlist & blurbs masterlist

authors note idk this was a random thing i wrote at 2AM because i just missed them, i am still working on style so don't worry that should be out soon. also this is set way before no strings, i love writing about them in their previous moments!

brief description harry surprises y/n at her graduation (also listen to love of my life by h whilst readinggg)

warnings! angsty? fluffy? drunk y/n and harry (2.1k)

younger!lhh!nostrings!h x reader

* * * * *

SIX YEARS BEFORE

University has a funny way of making you feel like you might never cross the finish line. Y/n like everyone else had multiple days where she would just sob and scream from the stress of it all. Exams were totally a torture device.

When Y/n graduated with her first degree before deciding to write her thesis Harry surprised her.

He’d been touring the world with One Direction for months now and she hadn’t seen him since Paris the year before, when he’d surprised her by flying her to join them in their Paris show and they’d had a wild few drunken nights that she felt blurred the lines of friendship into something more.

But after their few days, when the champagne ran out, and she came back home, she sobered and realised that nothing would ever happen between them. And if you spent a few nights with Harry in a limo drinking champagne and dealing with his wandering hands you too would fall for him. Just a bit. It's only natural.

She missed him, though, loads. He was one of her best friends after all.

Around a month ago they phoned each other, it was late for her and the morning for him, she’d been studying and they talked for hours catching up till the sky turned bright for her and her eyes drooped shut. The time between their phone calls had grown longer and longer now, and she missed him. She’d mentioned that she was graduating soon and that they were both supposed to be graduating if he’d stayed in Uni. She remembers them staying up late at parties discussing their futures and how post-graduation Harry was insistent that they’d still be roommates. She realised now that their dream definitely wasn’t a possibility anymore.

He’d told her that instead of being there graduating like they’d suspected he was going to be, he was in Rome at some fashion show gala thing, and his date was this sexy model named Rosalie who had her sex tape leaked a couple of months ago. She was happy for him, but a part of her couldn’t help but be disappointed. She felt like he was drifting away from her every day, but she couldn’t find in herself to be cross with him. He was swept up by the fame of it all, and how on earth could she be mad that he was literally a rockstar? She knew that he was still Harry and she was still Y/n but they weren’t Harry and Y/n anymore. Not like before.

And honestly, she’d probably leave everything and everyone behind, party all night, and sleep with sexy models too if she had the chance to be famous. But she couldn’t sing for shit. So instead she did what she was doing, and shoved her nose in a book rather than in lines off a bathroom sink, and she was rather content with the peacefulness of it all.

All thoughts of Harry were swept away from her mind when she walked across the stage in the grande hall. She was finally graduating! Thank god! She thought. She had a sash that showed she was an honours student, and she was blooming with pride, when they called her name her list of achievements was longer than the four painful years she’d spent studying in their grande libraries. She was so glad to shake the hand of one of her favourite professors and leave, the next year ahead she planned to travel and work overseas, she was excited about that.

But honestly, she was even more excited to get absolutely shit-faced at the graduation after-ball party. She found herself a few pints down, sitting by the edge of one of the fountains, when she nearly fell in at the absolutely shocking sight in front of her.

There was just no way it could be true. I mean he was in Rome, and she was drunk in London. She’d seen photos on her Twitter of him wrapping his tattooed arms around that Rosalie model girl, so how could he be here in London just like that? It was not real, surely. She must be hallucinating and the second-hand smoke of all the spliffs had finally got to her brain. But suddenly the man turned around and Jesus Christ it was him. It was Harry. His eyes were pinched as he searched the crowd and when he finally saw her they lit up, all green like a forest, and his mouth kicked up into that devilish grin of his.

He saw her dumb-struck expression and laughed softly walking toward his best friend. He was dressed in a suit jacket like everyone else, and since they were all drunk none of them noticed it was the Harry Styles of the One Direction AKA the biggest band in the world. To them, he was just some random twat who just graduated too.

His hair had grown all long and curly, and he just looked so much more like a man than when he’d left. Had he gotten taller? More strong? The arms of his jacket strained and Y/n sighed at the sight of him.

She didn't think she'd changed much, but Harry thought she looked even more beautiful than before, if possible.

When he stood right in front of her, her mouth was still wide in utter shock. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

He laughed. “Is that all you hafta’ say? Come on, hug your best friend!”

She sprang up from her seat and the silky long dress, which was a teal blue colour. All smooth and tight on her skin was hiked up slightly. Her gown and cap were long gone, as she wrapped her arms around his neck and shoulders. He lifted her up off the floor and spun them around. 

She smelt like peaches and sweetness, and God, he could've stayed holding her for weeks.

She giggled and felt her face hurt from smiling so big. “Oh my God, I can’t believe you!”

When he placed her down, his hands did not leave the curve of her waist. “Surprise, babe.”

“What the- shit- I thought you were in Rome! How’d you even get here?” She asked 

He smiled. “I was, got a flight this afternoon. It was the only one coming home, sorry for missing the graduation part.”

She just smiled up at him. “You’re crazy.”

He shook his head landing a hand on her shoulder. “I knew how important it was to you, and I missed you. Sue me.”

She laughed, eyes welling with slight tears. Maybe he wasn’t drifting too far from her after all. “Oh, god, don’t make me cry, you know how I get after a few pints, H.”

He laughed, arms outstretched for her to cuddle him. “Aw, pet, c’mere.”

She smacked his chest playfully but cuddled him nonetheless. “Let’s go get royally fucked, mate,” She whispered and they pulled apart, hands interlocking as she lead him off to one of the pubs where everyone was buying drinks.

It was called The Ducks Nuts.

A few of her mates were inside. Ones Harry didn’t know, but she’d already spent a good portion of the night with them. So she told them her old friend had surprised her and they’d be here and there.

Harry ordered them some shots and eventually the night was just a blur of hands touching each other, as they got so drunk Y/n felt her world spinning. They’d hopped around multiple different pubs and bars and Y/n was so tired. Her heels itched her feet with pain and she ripped them off, along with her bag. As they walked with little purpose she threw her things at him and began to dance in the middle of the road.

Harry was holding her things as she danced in the street showing her best Elton John impression, and he silently decided that was what made her so perfect. She was just herself. And he loved that about her, he loved everything about her.

He laughed and told her what a realistic impression it was, and how they’d met at some award show to back up that comment. She was infinitely jealous, she loved Elton.

On her way back toward him she landed in his arms after losing her footing he shook his head at her.

“You are very drunk, Lovie. Aren't ya'?" He said, in a soft tone one that made her tummy turn in flips.

She sighed as they walked in a direction with no destination in mind. “You aren’t drunk enough, you need to get on my level.”

He noticed her shiver under his arm and quickly ripped his coat off. It swallowed her form and she smiled gratefully hugging the coat around herself. It felt like a warm embrace, and that smell filled her nose and suddenly she was home in her old flat with him, home in Holmes Chapel, home with him. Just home.

“Smells good.” She giggled as she sniffed the shoulder pad, her cheek brushing against the soft material all dog-like. “N’ soft too.”

“Why thanks, it’s Gucci.” He replied. 

She rolled her eyes. “Come on then, money-bags, let’s get you as drunk as me.”

They strolled into a tavern near her flat and drank so much tequila that they had to practically carry each other home.

As Harry looked up at the stars and moon, feeling the cool air nip her skin he sighed. He hadn’t gotten this drunk, and been this happy in such a long time. He was giggling contently, as she leaned into him and he silently wished that the night would never end.

He never wanted his time with her to end either. He loved spending time with her, whether they were on an adventure or doing nothing at all. Y/n made it worthwhile.

When they reached the shitbox of a flat she lived in Harry followed calmly behind her, and when one of her neighbours spat a comment about drunken youths he sighed, “I wish you would’ve taken up my offer,”

She looked up at him as she played with the jammy door that never seemed to open on the first try. Shoving her shoulder into it as she managed to finally wedge it open, stumbling inside ungracefully.

And with a roll of her eyes, she ushered him inside. “There is zero chance I’d let my all-of-sudden bazillionaire rockstar friend buy me a flat, just cause he can afford shoes worth more than my entire life savings. Anyway, how could I ever pay it back? I have two p to my name and a packet of noodles in my possessions, Harry.”

He laughed. “Think of it as a graduation present then,”

She sighed. “Just shut up and sit down, and I’ll get some wine.”

It was almost 4AM now, and neither cared. They were beyond drunk, but Y/n missed him and if force-feeding him wine would get him to spend a whole 24 hours with her, she totally would.

When she sat down with two mugs spilling with a cherry red wine, that was the cheapest shit she’d ever bought, Harry laughed. Her wobbly legs forced her to land awkwardly on one thigh practically on top of his. He smiled, one that showed his kind eyes. 

Green pools of emerald she wished to swim in for eternity. She laughed at the thought, she really got poetic when she was drunk, huh?

“God, remind me to get you drunk more often.” He whispered.

She sighed. “Oh shut up, and fill me in on life then. Who are you shagging?”

He looked at her pointedly. “Who are you shagging?”

A blush crept up her neck, and suddenly the only secret she had kept from him was threatening to slip past her drunken red-stained lips.

“None of your business, but there’s this hot guy in my physics who I would totally shag,”

He laughed, but underneath it, he felt a jealousy creep up his spine, he knew he had no right since he’d been balls deep in two Italian models this morning, turns out threesomes are a really good cure for hangovers by the way. But despite that, he felt an itch he couldn’t scratch that resembled something pretty close to jealousy.

“What’s he like?” Harry asked.

She shrugged. “Dunno, tall, glasses, got that whole nerdy silent thing going for him.”

“That’s what you like then, silent types?” He asked, running a hand through his long curls, and she reached out to play with one.

She shook her head, and said distractedly, “I don’t know.”

“Makes sense why you never dated me then.” 

During primary school, Harry dated every girl in their class including Daisy and Penny, except Y/n who told him she didn’t fancy him. It was an ongoing topic of discussion between them. Why wasn't he good enough? He always asked.

She laughed at that comment. “I know you too well for that, and I get the unfiltered you, and I lived with you which was basically like being married to you. We bickered too much to ever date, Haz.”

He looked at her with hooded eyes, and for some reason that stung, but trying to be light-hearted he said. “Never say never, what if we needed to repopulate the earth?”

She looked over at him and placed a hand on his and kissed his cheek, all soft and slow, and for a moment he thought she might actually kiss him for real but instead, she said. “There’ll be no hope for humanity then.”

He sighed, fake pouting before a couple of minutes of silence passed and he turned to her and said. “Come with me to Brazil.”

Her eyes widened, “What?"

“I leave tomorrow night, come with me.” He said.

She frowned. “What? Come with you? You can't be serious.”

He nodded. “Please? I miss you! And we can party for a whole week together, or sleep, or do whatever the fuck you want! Just come, pack a bikini and something sparkly, and I’ll take care of the rest.”

Y/n and Harry did end up going to Brazil but that’s a story for another time.

She stood up from the couch holding her hand out to him, and he slid his into hers. Cool rings grazing the soft skin of her palm.

“Let’s just go to sleep, you're talking like a crazy person.” She said, softly pushing a lock of his hair away from his eyes.

He sighed at her, “But m’ serious, Love.”

“Alright, ask me again tomorrow. That is if you even remember...now come on, let’s listen to Fleetwood Mac and sleep until tomorrow evening.”

Y/n's room was cosy and welcoming. Harry felt his eyes droop at the sight. A tiny lamp shining over them in an orange glow, her cot-like bed covered in blankets and the scent of her likely covering those sheets.

That night they slept in Y/n’s twin bed, cuddling, with Stevie Nicks serenading them to sleep. Cheeks plump and pink from too much alcohol, hands wandering scandalously, and the love in air was thick and obvious.

Before Y/n fell asleep she pecked his lips, in a quick kiss, one that it barely even touched him and said, “Night, mate,”

His lips burned like wildfire, and from that night on, he did think humanity had a chance if it was up to them. Whether or not she believed that.

“Night, Love.”

i have been a bit slack with updates lately...second year of uni is crazy and im already soooo busy, but i missed them and i wanted to write a lil sum for y'all until my next proper update :) BIG LOVEEEE

#nostringsattachedblurbs #nostringsattachedseriesbylilystyles #harry styles #harry styles smut #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles angst #harry styles x reader smut #lilystyles #harrystylesseries #childhood best friend to strangers to fwb to lovers #nostrings!H #blurb #longhairharry #my love #them

[kiwikiwiandkiwi]

DAYLIGHT (2023)

#harry styles #daylight #stylesedits #stylesnews #hledit #hljournal #hlcreators #hlupdate #hldaily #harry #daylight mv #2023 #he is my son and also my best friend and i love him so much

[becky5203]

I know JKR is a terrible person and you won’t catch me defending her but making Harry’s best friends mirrors of his dead parents was a galaxy brained move if ever there was one.

#Ron opening up his home and his family to his abused and ignored best friend just like James did for Sirius?? #the quidditch loving pure blood falling in love with the brainiac muggle born??? #the game of cat-and-mouse style romance that took the two 7 years to finally get together and fall in love??? #miss Joanne I hope you rot in hell but before you do you should know you ate that one little thing #romione #jily #ron x hermione #james x lily #ron weasley x hermione granger #james potter x lily evans #ron and hermione #james and lily #ron weasley and hermione granger #james potter and lily evans #harry potter #the wizarding world of harry potter #harry really took being a third wheel to a whole other level with those two

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

Hey :) this is a bit if a sensitive topic… but i got an idea for a request and i don’t know if you’d be willing to write it? I’ve been struggling with anorexia for a very long time and i’ve been thinking what if y/n was in the love band and she has an ed and body image issues and you know the outfit the band’s always wearing? For me personally, it’d be so triggering to wear because i know i’d feel so fat wearing it (don’t know why tbh)…Anyway, what if she hasn’t really told anyone about her struggle (maybe they saw signs but don’t know for sure) and she’d agreed to wear the outfit but then before a show she has a huge panic attack and Harry finds her crying backstage…

And also like i just want to say that there’s nothing wrong with being bigger and that "fat" is not a feeling but i just can’t help my brain 😣

Sorry for the long ask.. and I also hope you’ll feel better!!🙂

Hello friend! First off, thank you for sending this request and for trusting me and this online space to share your struggles. That can be really challenging, especially on the internet where you don't know how people will take things or react sometimes. Especially with eating disorders, there's so much guilt and shame that comes with this kind of mental illness to begin with and it can be a hard thing to admit to as well.

I will also share with you anon, that I've struggled with an ED for many years and was finally diagnosed with EDNOS in 2016. EDNOS stands for eating disorder not otherwise specified and you can receive that diagnosis for many reasons. I won't elaborate on my case in this post (I don't mind talking about it anymore so if ppl have questions you can ask), but anyway.... all this to say that I totally understand your struggle. And lately, I've been struggling to not fall back into those harmful ways after some comments my mom made a few weeks ago. It's been a tough few weeks for me for many reasons. But anyway, thank you so much again, for sending this request. Writing this is definitely going to be cathartic and therapeutic for me as well and I hope that it is for you too and anyone who struggles this way.

LAST THING! If you or anyone you know struggles with an eating disorder or shows concerning disordered eating patterns, please consider getting help. Some resources are linked HERE including helpline contact info.

And of course, the content below can be triggering for people who struggle with any E.D.

This was quite literally your dream come to life. You had been asked by Harry himself to join the Love Band in Ny-Oh's place for the final leg of Love On Tour. This all seemed insane and unreal as you thought about how you'd just met him around 2018. You'd been brought in as a session musician for Harry's last 2 albums and started a nice little friendship with him. But you didn't know that he considered you enough of a friend to ask you to join his live ensemble. Sure, you talked regularly enough and had graduated into hugs over fist bumps during the making of Harry's House, but still...it just seemed so insane. You were excited though, getting to see him perform every night knowing how hard he worked to make this music...it was like a full circle moment.

There'd been plenty you'd done in preparation for your travels. Including getting your measurements taken for the little love minion jumpsuits you'd be wearing every night. None of that really seemed to trigger you or your concerns over your weight and body image. You'd been doing so well, you'd been managing your eating disorder well the last few years without any major setbacks and you were proud that you were healthy enough to do this. Proud that you felt comfortable accepting this gig and knowing that you had the stamina and health to make it through the entire leg of the tour. It was huge! But none of that really seemed to matter when you got a look at your uniform hung up just a few inches away from you and felt this sudden rush of anxiety crawling through your body. Why did it look like it'd be so tight on you? The material obviously wasn't too stretchy so how was this supposed to fit on you? You weren't exactly sure what about the look of it suddenly had you feeling this way, but all you knew was that you didn't feel good about it.

The logical part of your brain reminded you that you got fitted for this - it was custom made to your measurements. And you tried to keep that in mind, but you soon realized that you had been fitted for this about four months ago. Maybe you'd gained tons of weight? Your days of obsessively weighing yourself were past you, so you had no idea if you had or hadn't. You had body dysmorphia so your mind wouldn't know the difference. And it was maddening to you that you had been feeling OK about yourself until you'd entered the little temporary changing room and saw the outfit on the hanger. Your heart started to beat a bit faster as your anxiety started to grow.

"30 minutes to show time!" you heard someone call as they walked down the corridor and then they shouted the same warning into the large dressing room a few of you shared and you just exhaled sharply and decided so just ignore this feeling and suck it up. If you didn't wear this what would you wear? You had no choice, you just had to get over it.

However, now that something about this outfit had triggered the obsessive and intrusive thoughts about your body image you started to feel uncomfortable looking at your reflection. You tried to avoid looking at yourself right now because you knew that you'd see things that weren't accurate. You tried to slow down your breathing as you turned away from the mirror in there and folded up your clothes before turning back around and looking at the outfit once again before taking it off the hanger. It felt suspenseful to undo all of the little buttons lining the seam to join the two sides together. But soon you were pulling it off the hanger and getting your legs into it and doing up the buttons, avoiding the mirror again until it was fully on so that you wouldn't freak out before you fully were dressed. Of course, you had no issues with getting it on, it felt just fine, a little loose if anything. But when you looked up the feeling of the fit didn't really matter. You had no idea if it was the cinched in waist that felt restrictive even if you had some wiggle room. Or maybe it was the way the fabric bulged a bit at your stomach and made you feel like you were carrying a lot more weight there than you realized before? But as you turned to the side to see how you looked from that angle your frown deepened as your fears rose tot he surface. It looked a little big on you and that somehow made you feel even worse because it wasn't like flattering/comfy baggy. This outfit somehow accentuated just how thin you actually were and then a new fear came into your brain: They're going to know I'm anorexic.

You felt that you did well enough to keep your eating disorder speculations at bay. People closest to you knew, but you were very private about it because like any illness, there is sometimes an element of shame involved. It wasn't something you advertised, especially as you recovered! But most people just knew you were into health and wellness, but they didn't know the dark side of it; that you struggled with obsessing over quantities and ingredients and portions because you were terrified to look bigger than you were, terrified to gain weight, terrified of feeling fat. You couldn't tell anyone why you felt that way, but you just did! And sure, you were a lot better now than you were years ago, but you had just been massively triggered that you looked sickly and that, that would arise suspicions of your health. The fans might start to say things and ask questions and if they noticed other people would too...the crew, the rest of the band...Harry...

As you stared at yourself for a bit more your eyes started to tear up and you silently fanned at your eyes to try and dissipate the tears, but your vision was only getting more and more blurry. You just needed some fresh air to calm down. You peeked out and saw that you were alone in the dressing room so you rushed out before anyone could stop you and you headed out back behind the stage. They were in the middle of changing the setup after the openers so the crew and roadies were closer to the structure helping change things out and unloading. You had the space and privacy to pace around and let your tears fall. But the audience was so loud...there would be so many people and they would look at you and see you in this outfit and just know that something was wrong with you. Obviously they would be scrutinizing you since you were the new person! And suddenly everything just built up inside of you and you started to panic.

You found a place to sit down when you felt your breathing catch in your throat. This couldn't be happening.... you were just minutes before the show! But you were hyperventilating now as your tears cascaded down your cheeks. You felt like you were going to crumble apart. This was a huge mistake... you should've said no...you weren't ready for this. There was no way you could do this. You were sat off to the side as you sobbed and tried everything you could to calm down and get through this panic attack so you didn't notice Harry's car pulling up across from you until you heard the stadium cheering loudly and when you glanced up you saw Harry wave quickly before he headed backstage. You didn't want anyone to see you like this so you stood up and went to hide behind one of the trailers, but you didn't notice that he'd seen you rush off.

********

"Y/N!" Harry called after you but you didn't seem to hear him and he frowned a bit. He could've sworn you were crying...maybe you just got really nervous or maybe it just hit you now that you were on tour. It could be exciting but nerve-racking. So he decided to just check on you and maybe give you a little pep-talk. "Hey, I'll be right in, just gonna make sure she's OK." Harry said to Tommy and Brad.

"I've got it, H. You should really go get changed. You're on in 15." Tommy advised.

"It'll be quick. I'm sure she's just a little nervous." Harry said and they sighed as he jogged off to where you'd taken off. When he rounded the corner to where the trailers were he immediately frowned when he saw you gasping for air, choking on your tears as you sobbed uncontrollably. "Y/N, oh my god." he said as he hurried over to you.

You felt mortified as he rushed up to you and reached for your hands. You started to cry harder because this was so fucked up. You felt so stupid and ridiculous for crying over an outfit, but you just felt so awful. Worse than you had in a long time and it was scary to be triggered so intensely. When he wrapped you up in a big hug you started to calm down. His voice and touch and scent helped to ground you a bit, enough to help you breathe properly.

"What's the matter?" he asked you softly as you continued crying. You cough as you tried to answer him and he gently rubbed your back to help you out a bit.

"S'fine. I'm fine." you choked out and he sighed.

"How can I help if I don't know what the issue is?" he asked you and you sighed.

"You can't help Harry, this is me. This all me and I...I don't think I can do the show." you finally said and he pulled back with a big frown as he looked at you. You couldn't bear to see his disappointment for more than a second before you looked back at the ground.

"What do you mean? Are you nervous?" he asked you as he rubbed at your arms with his ring clad hands and you sighed.

"I-it's the outfit. I can't wear this outfit. Like...I'm not...able to wear this." you said to him and he looked a bit confused.

"Is something wrong with it?"

"Yes! I...don't know w-what it is..." you gasped through your sobs, "But I just...don't like how I look or feel in it." you explained.

"Love, you look great!" he said with a small smile and that made you feel worse because it was a testament to just how insane you actually were, "And well, I'm not really sure we can change the uniform at this point-"

"Exactly, this is my issue! So I can't go up there." you cried.

"Well what's the issue you're having? Maybe there's something we can do about it right now?" he asked and you bit your lip for a moment before looking into his eyes and then just turning your gaze away from him. You couldn't bear to see his face when you said this to him.

"I...I have an eating disorder." you said softly through your tears, "And something about this outfit has triggered me into this psychotic episode. I feel...really awful physically and in my head too...and I'm trying... I'm trying to get it together but I haven't felt like this in years and just one look at me in this and everyone's gonna know something's wrong with me because I look sick!" you sobbed, "And that's why I can't do this. I'm so sorry, Harry. I just can't do the show." you blubbered and his hands slid down your arms and grabbed your hands.

"I'm so sorry." he said softly and you sighed.

"It's not your fault...how were you supposed to know that this would trigger me? I didn't even know until I was staring at the fucking thing." you shook your head as you looked up at him again and he sighed.

"I mean, yeah but like I... I noticed stuff before, like when we first met that made me wonder if...maybe you were anorexic or struggled with something like this. So I'm sorry that I never checked on you." he said and you sighed.

"Well, it't not really something I like to talk about." you explained through a sniffle, "And I've been doing really well the last couple years, I swear I'm like eating regularly and stuff. I wouldn't have agreed to do this if I wasn't well enough to do it." you said quickly, "But something happened back there and for my own wellbeing I just feel like I can't go out there like this." you explained through your tears. "Like...at first I thought I looked fat or maybe the cinching made me feel really restricted....but like I had this...moment where when I looked at myself f-from the side I just...looked like a fucking Tim Burton character...." you chuckled through your tears, "and I just...know that people will notice that I'm anorexic. And the audience is gonna see and start saying things about me... and things are just going to get worse and I'm gonna lose control again! And I don't want to lose control again. I can't lose control again." you vented through your tears and he just listened attentively with a slight frown. When he saw you were finished he squeezed your hands gently.

"I get that. And I also want you to be healthy and feel healthy and to feel good about yourself." he assured you, "You being safe and healthy and happy, that's all I want for you! But you're also a fucking brilliant musician and friend and I don't want to do this without you." he said to you and you sniffled, "I'm willing to figure something out to make sure that you feel comfortable and confident enough to perform if you want. We can get with Harry real quick and see what we can come up with." he suggested.

"The show starts in a little bit...it's fine. We can work on it tomorrow. I can perform from backstage today or even just sit this one out." you said and he scoffed through a laugh.

"I'm not gonna make you perform from backstage! We're just gonna run a bit late, that's fine." he said to you and you shook your head.

"Seriously H, I don't mind it a-"

"Seriously, Y/N." He cut you off, "I don't want to hide any member of my team, ever. I want to work with you to figure this out, OK? You mean a lot to me, and having you up there with me and Mitch, like that's so huge! You've been there for a lot of the work on these songs...you brought my vision to life in the studio and now you're here, getting to see it play out! And you do not have my permission to experience this magnificent and magical moment for the first time from behind the stage, all alone. There's no fucking way." he said and you chuckled softly through your tears as he squeezed your hands reassuringly again. "You deserve this. Let's figure this out." he offered again and you sniffled and nodded.

"OK." you agreed softly and he smiled.

"Yeah?"

"Yes." you sniffled and smiled at him before he hugged you tight and you relaxed in his embrace.

"Perfect. Just gonna hold you for a bit, OK?" he said and you just hummed.

Your eating disorder had robbed you of tons of incredible experiences in your life. Either because you weren't well enough to show up or because you felt ashamed...but the buck stopped here. Not anymore. Harry was right, you deserved this and you wanted this, so you were gonna do it with his help and other Harry's help. After a few moments he let go of you and pulled back to wipe away the slightly smeared makeup beneath your eyes.

"If you don't mind not saying anything to Harry about why I-"

"Of course not." He said right away.

"Do you think the band'll mind that I might not be in the uniform?"

"I doubt it, but if someone has any issues I'll take care of it, OK?" he assured you and you nodded.

"Thank you, H."

"Course, love." He smiled kindly, "And I know that for now we might scramble a bit but what if we get you a tour shirt or sweater to wear on top and you can just tie the jumpsuit sleeves around you or something so that you just have the pants on?" he suggested.

"Yeah, I think that's good. I can't very well go out in my spandex shorts, that’s what I came in." you giggled and he chuckled.

"Yeah, sorry not happening. This is kind of about me so...." he joked and you laughed softly, "There she is." he said, his thumb swiped over your smile line for a moment before he pulled it away, "Sorry." he said softly.

"It's alright." you assured him and he smiled.

"Let's get this figured out then." he said and you nodded and headed back.

Of course, Harry had been right about not wanting you to miss the first show because you were hiding backstage. It had been one the best experiences of your life so far. The crowd were so loud and happy to be there. Hearing everyone sing the songs with you all, specially getting to sing Matilda and seeing how much it meant to everyone was amazing. It had been absolutely magical, you had even teared up. And when Harry spared you a glance at the end of the song and saw you wiping a tear he shot you a thumbs up and you returned the gesture. You guys started to wave at the fans at the barricade as you headed back to the main stage. You felt someone come up behind you and then Harry's arm draped over your shoulder.

"Alright, love?" he asked against your ear.

"Yeah, you were right though." you said to him, "I'm glad I'm not stuck in the back and missing this." you smiled up at him and he smiled.

"Me too." he assured you.

Of course, hundreds of fans had recorded this little interaction between the two of you and the only thing that people were obsessing over was how protective and soft Harry seemed to be with you and in turn it made the fans even more gentle towards you during the next shows. With each show the cheering for your introduction grew louder. By now you had talked to the other Harry and the band about what you were struggling with and they were all so kind and supportive. And now, each night when you were introduced you had that incredible support from the audience as well. No one was paying attention to your flaws or your issues or your body, they were just showing you the love and acceptance that you so often failed to give to yourself. Being built up that way gave you a new motivation to stay on track, to take care of yourself, and to keep getting better.

#harry styles #harry styles fan fic #harry styles lot #love on tour #Love On Tour fic #lot 2023 #harry styles fanfic #harry styles blurb #harry styles request #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #best friend!harry #best friend!harry styles #harry x you #harry styles x you #harry x y/n #harry styles x y/n #harry styles reader insert #harry styles reader insert fanfic #0nlythrowharrybeaux

[be-with-me-so-happily]

Chapter 2

Series Summary: Gemma is definitely Cassidy James' favourite Styles family member, considering they are best friends and all. And especially considering that Harry Styles is Gemma's smug and self-centered younger brother. Her life isn't perfect, and neither is she, but she hates how everyone thinks Harry is. Because she knows that's not the case.

Chapter Summary: As Harry's show continues, so do the flashbacks that keep bombarding Cassidy with each song.

Chapter Warnings: Some explicit language, mention of drinking, anxiety attack, Robin Twist passing away & funeral reception

[ present - Dec 2019 ]

Cassidy doesn't like to admit that Harry's songs are really good. She also doesn't like that she can't help herself from dancing to them. And what she hates even more is when Harry catches her doing it. Especially when it causes a smirk to appear on his face.

He's sung two songs already, and is now performing 'Adore You'. It's good. Too good. And it's so fun, which is why she starts to move around with Gemma as soon as the rhythmic bass of the intro begins to play.

"Walking your rainbow paradise…"

His quick glance up is the first moment he's looked at her. At least, it's the first time she has allowed direct contact, because she did not want to give him that during 'Watermelon Sugar'. She's not dumb, she knows what that song is about. And giving him her attention during that one just wasn't going to happen.

"Walk through fire for you, just let me adore you."

He looks up again, a quick glance up, a concentrated furrow in his brow under the bright lights. The thought crosses her mind that maybe he can't see her. That would be nice, considering she wouldn't be personally feeding his ego by being in attendance.

With the hope that she is hidden from Harry's view, she begins to bounce along to the song more vibrantly. It's almost unavoidable, and as much as it annoys her, she can't hold back from moving to the beat.

It's a fun song, and she may as well attempt to have some fun while she's there, considering she'd rather be anywhere else.

"Just let me adore you… oh honey!"

Again he glances up, this time forming a smirk on his lips as he notices her dancing, and performing a little imitation of her moves from the stage.

A little frustration appears from being seen dancing, but more so from the fact that she just blushed from that mild moment of attention she received, and the smile it produced from him. That frustration grows as she realizes she once again fell for the charm, even if for a second, and once again fed his ego. So her movements halt.

"Walk through fire for you… sing!" He points his mic to the crowd, and of course they obey.

"Just let me adore you!"

She rolls her eyes, keeping her lips tight as everyone else chants it out, wondering if this song is actually from his perspective or something he wants to hear from others. He knows he's adored, but he still wants to hear it.

Typical Harry.

He wants everyone to love him, and they do. He wants people to be there for him, and they are. Just like back in his One Direction days, except this is worse, because it actually is all about him. Just how he likes it. Just how he expects it.

[ flashback - Jan 2016 ]

Cassidy has no reason to be shocked by the article Roxie had placed in front of her that day at the office, two weeks ago.

She knew exactly what was going to happen on that yacht trip. Exactly. She would say she's dumb to think any different, but that wasn't even the case, because she didn't. She didn't think any other scenario would play out.

So it's baffling to her that she is sitting on her bed, still staring at the photos plastered all over social media, feeling a twinge in her heart at the sight of Kendall Jenner's body pressed down against Harry's bare chest. She's baffled by the knot forming in her stomach, as she looks over images of another girl's lips on his, remembering the moments they were soft against her own, as well as the moments they were a bit more ravenous.

She can't be upset. She has no reason to be upset. They had sex twice. Two casual hookups, with a guy she has only ever been annoyed by, do not grant her the right to feel jealous.

So she won't. She doesn't.

To her relief, her phone itself pulls her out of those thoughts with multiple vibrations. She opens up her messages and clicks on the first notification

🗨️ Gemma: hey, r u coming to harry's bday thing tonight?

She loves her best friend, but sometimes she's clueless. Granted, she doesn't know about the activities that Harry and Cassidy have partaken in, but she can only remember one birthday party of Harry's that she attended since he auditioned on X-Factor. She didn't even attend all of them during the time before that. Why would she do that now?

🗨️ Cassidy: wasn't planning on it

She closes that message, knowing full well that Gemma will potentially send her a response of protest soon, and takes the moment to open up the other new one waiting for her attention.

🗨️ Nathan: hey cassidy, i'm back in london this weekend. wanna meet up?

That one she will wait on. She had a fun time with Nathan on New Year's Eve. He was hot, charming in his own way, and made her laugh a lot that night. Granted, she was a bit drunk, trying to convince herself it was only because of the celebration and not to forget certain interactions on the other most recent holiday. But, either way, he was good company and did happen to be her kiss when the countdown ended that night. A good kiss.

She was grateful, that time, that she shared a hotel room with her friends. She told them she didn't want any drunken hookups that she could regret in the morning, clearly learning from the secret rendezvous she had with a certain someone.

So, even though emotions were high, alcohol was coursing through her veins, and hormones were raging, her friends made sure she went back to the room with them at the end of the party.

That's not to say that his question to hang out won't be answered, and it's not necessarily something she will decline, but this moment, with thoughts of Harry and a supermodel curled up on a yacht flooding her brain, it's not the time to respond.

•••

With her sweats and jumper on, an order of her favorite Chinese food delivered, and 'The Princess Bride' playing on the television, Cassidy begins to enjoy her relaxing night alone.

Her dad is out of town on a business trip, and her mum has taken a graveyard shift at the old folks home. These nights are rare for her, and she is going to take advantage of every moment of peace this situation can bring.

As she takes a bite of orange chicken, her phone begins to buzz. She pauses the movie and picks it up, seeing Gemma's name appear.

"Hey! Is the party over already?" She chuckles, mildly amused that the birthday dinner of her nemesis could have ended so quickly.

"No. It's not." She hears in a stern reply, but not from the voice of her best friend.

"Ummm… Harry?"

"Oh! You… you remember me? And… you remember it's my birthday party?"

"Yeah…" She replies, confusion filling every inch of her mind.

"So why didn't you come then?"

"I… umm… what?"

"Just thought you'd… thought you'd come."

Why would she go? Why in the world would she go? It's not as if she's been to every birthday celebration before tonight. It's not as if they are even that close, or even friends.

But the stutter of his words clues her in to the fact that while the party isn't over, it has definitely been in full swing. There's no doubt that he's had a few drinks. And as much as her instincts tell her to roll her eyes, or argue with him, she knows it's pointless to do any of that when he's drunk.

"I'm sorry, Harry."

"I just… thought you'd come." He repeats, the sadness in his tone sounding sincere enough to give her heart a little tug. Minimally. "Wanted you to come."

"I'm sorry, Harry." She repeats this time, feeling the tug a little stronger at his admission of wanting her there, even if it is an inebriated confession. "Get back to having fun, yeah?"

She picks up on a subtle sigh on the other end of the line, followed quickly by nearby shouting of his name.

"Harry, what the hell are you doing?" She hears in the background.

"Sorry! Sorry!"

"Give me my phone back!"

Cassidy chuckles, understanding that Harry has been caught by Gemma, who apparently didn't realize that he had taken her phone for this conversation.

"What the-? CJ?" Gemma chuckles in surprise at who Harry was on the phone with. She's not the only one a little shocked by the random call. "That idiot. He had asked if you were coming. I didn't think he'd become a thief and call you. Sorry 'bout that."

"It's fine." Cassidy replies, unsure how to feel about his desire and attempt to see her, or at least talk to her. "I'm guessing it's going well?"

"For him, yeah." She responds, chuckling and exhaling a sigh in the same breath. "He's getting a little wild, so I'm babysitting now."

"Oh boy."

"He's tried to take his shirt off twice already!"

She doesn't say anything for a moment, regretting not going solely for the possibility of getting another glimpse of his bare upper body.

"Shit." Gemma states. "He's slumped over some random girl. I better go."

That's something she's glad she isn't seeing, and it's part of the reason she didn't go. Not that she'd be jealous, she has no reason to be jealous, but she doesn't need to be there watching him try to charm his way into someone else's pants. It's just annoying. No, the reason is she doesn't want to be that girl. Especially with Gemma there. That just wouldn't end well.

Not that she would be that girl. Not that he'd pick her. Not again.

"Alright. Talk later." She quickly replies, hanging up as she hears her friend yell out Harry's name once more.

She sets her phone down beside her, grabbing her food container again, and taking another bite. A giggle of disbelief comes out, followed by frustration, which is always the emotion she feels related to Harry.

What is his deal? They hook up, he goes back to his popstar life, they hook up again, have a very confusing Christmas, and he has a romantic rendezvous with his famous supermodel 'friend'. But then he calls her, seemingly upset that she didn't attend his little birthday dinner?

Does he think that since now they've had sex, she will forget all the torture he put her through during their childhood? Does he think that now she is just going to fawn over him like every other girl he meets? Does he think he has some kind of hold on her, that all she wants is him?

If he does, he needs to get over himself. Doubtful that'll happen, but she's not going to give that to him. And she's not going to let this consume her night.

[ present - Dec 2019 ]

After watching and listening to Harry perform 'Falling', Cassidy is ready for another upbeat song. That one brought up too many emotions, and she knows it's not even about her. That song is about someone he really and truly cared about. Plus, there wouldn't be one about her anyway.

A fun little riff on the guitar starts to play, and there's hope this one is a bit more bouncy.

"Don't blame me for falling, I was just a little boy."

Immature. Sounds right. She knows she's being mean, even though it's only internally, but she can't seem to help it. It's been a long time, sure, and there wasn't much between them, but it still gets to her. Everything about him just gets to her.

"And I'm just an arrogant son of a bitch, who can't admit when he's sorry."

Funny, and true. She's definitely thought that for a long time, and is pretty sure she may have said it to him once.

[ flashback - Jan 2016 ]

Cassidy didn't even realize she fell asleep on the couch until her mum called, saying her shift is over and she'll bring home some breakfast.

A knock on the door surprises her a little, not expecting her mum to be back so soon.

"Need help, Mum?" She shouts towards the front door, as she makes her way closer.

"Umm… no, it's… it's Harry."

She stops in her tracks, even more surprised than she was when she thought her mum had come home in record time. She looks over her outfit, knowing there's no time to change, but quickly throws her hair up in a bun before opening the door.

"Hi." He simply states, a small but shy smile already on his face.

"Hi…" She responds, her tone soaked in confusion. "What are you doing here?"

He looks around outside, potentially making sure no one was around to see, or capture through a camera, the interaction between them.

"Can we chat?"

"Sure." She opens the door to let him in, watching him walk through the doorway as she realizes she can't remember a time when he's been there. Gemma has been there a few times, but Cassidy usually refrains from having people over. So she's sure Harry's never been there. It's not the most comforting environment. Hell, she doesn't even like being there herself.

Although, this moment feels a little different. She isn't sure if it's due to the lack of presence of the drunken prick she calls her father, the relaxation she was able to have the night before, or Harry's sudden presence, but she feels more peaceful than she thought she would while having him step inside her home.

"So, what's up?" She mumbles, walking behind him into the living room.

He stops and swivels around, a subtle furrow displayed between his brows.

"I didn't mean to call you last night. That was stupid. I was drunk." He states with an unreadable tone to his words.

"Oh. Right, I figured." She gives him a smile, reassuring him that his actions were fine and attempting to break the awkward tension she is suddenly feeling. "No problem."

"But… umm… why didn't you come?"

"What? To your dinner?" She asks, taken aback by the fact that despite his unintentional call, he was still questioning her lack of attendance.

He simply nods.

"I didn't realize you wanted me there."

"I invited you." His arms cross over his chest, and the awkward tension builds. So much for there being peace in the home. But that's the true nature of that house. That's its default setting.

"I've never gone to one of your birthday parties. Wasn't a big deal before." She chuckles. "I didn't think this year was any different."

"F'course it's different!" He instantly retorted.

"Why, because we fucked twice?" The words spilled out, unintentionally harsh. Unintentionally spoken in the first place. She regrets it, but it's also a fair response, and she feels justified for the questions swirling through her head the night before, because he clearly does think she'll forget the past, that she'll fawn over him, that he has some sort of hold on her. But his wide-eyed reaction produces a bit of guilt to begin to creep in.

"Well, sort of-... not just-... no, because we're friends."

"Friends?" She begins to laugh. His statements are getting more ridiculous by the minute. "Harry, we've never been friends."

"Harsh."

"But true." She quickly adds. "I'm Gemma's friend. All we've done is… is pester each other. Our whole childhood."

"Again, harsh. I was just a boy. I figured you'd see me in a different light at this point…" He mutters, clearly his throat as he runs his fingers through his annoyingly perfect locks. "So, we hook up and nothing's changed for you? That's fucking rubbish."

"Are you bloody joking? Have things changed for you?"

"Yes."

"What then? What's changed for you?"

"I…" He brings his pointer finger and thumb to his bottom lip, beginning to mindlessly pull on it as his brow furrows again. There's anger apparent on his face. "I like talking to you. I like hanging out with you."

"Okay…"

"I like kissing you. Your lips." He states, and her breath hitches as he takes long strides towards her. His penetrating gaze, accompanied with his sultry scent, sends shivers down her spine and a blush to her cheeks. "Sort of miss them, if I'm honest..."

But the good feelings are then also accompanied by irritation. She cannot let him have a hold on her. She cannot keep reacting this way just because he is close. She cannot fall for his charm, or his wit, because it's just a game to him. It's just a trick to get her to cave to him. She cannot be yet another girl he can use when he needs to and forget when he doesn't. He's already done that to her.

"Is that why I haven't heard from you since Christmas?"

"I was away-"

"Right, on the yacht. And is that why you were kissing Kendall Jenner? Because you 'missed my lips'…?"

He goes silent and his body stiffens. She can just make out how his breathing becomes a degree more shallow than before, seeing his nostrils flare slightly with each exhale.

"That's not fair." He mumbles, and his gaze drops to the floor. "You went out with that Nathan guy…"

"I went to a party."

"You can't really blame me for thinking it was more. He wanted to see you again, after he was basically eye-fucking you at that after party."

"So what if he was?"

The entire conversation has escalated so quickly, that Cassidy is almost having a hard time catching her breath. Her mind is racing so fast that it can't even begin to process what's happening, what they're talking about, what he means behind everything he says, because at this point it has gone beyond confusing.

"I just didn't like it."

"Didn't like the competition?"

"He wasn't competition." He replies so smugly, even without his usual dimpled smirk.

"God you're cocky." She scoffs, his aggravating ego reappearing effortlessly as it always does. "I could've left with him, you know."

"But you didn't!" He raises his voice, his jaw clenching as his eyes burn into hers, causing her to take a step back. "You left with me! You had sex with me!"

"I was drunk." She mumbles back. It was the alcohol, she still blames the alcohol.

"You weren't drunk the second time, Cass. You can't tell me you didn't want it the second time."

"You arrogant son of a bitch! This is so fucking stupid. What are we even arguing about? Yeah, we had sex. That was all. It's not like we are gonna be more… like we want to be more…"

His entire body straightens up and he steps back. His jaw drops open but he immediately closes it. They stand there in silence, except for a few panted breaths from each of them.

"You're right." He clears his throat, dropping his gaze downward. "This is stupid."

More silence. Her body begins to ready itself for fight or flight mode again, she can feel it coming on, and her breathing becomes even more shallow. She tries to take a deep breath, desperately hoping she doesn't have a panic attack, in front of him, yet again.

His eyes shoot up to hers, and that unfamiliar concern he showed the last time appears again in his expression. That is the exact opposite of what she wants right now, so she draws in a breath that finally, and thankfully, starts to calm her down.

"Can we… can we at least hang out?" Harry asks, his tone even, most likely not wanting to trigger anything for her.

"Why do you even want to be friends?"

"Why don't you want to? What's your reason?"

Because it's complicated. Because she's confused. Because being friends won't help to clear those things up for her. Because she's afraid she can't keep composed around him anymore and that's dangerous, because he's her best friend's brother. Because he's Harry Styles.

"We've never been friends. We've never hung out. I just don't see the point in starting now."

"Stop being so stubborn, CJ!"

"Don't call me that."

"Stubborn? But you are!"

"No. Don't call me 'CJ' again. We aren't friends."

"Bloody hell, you're so fucking infuriating! Fine. We aren't friends. We aren't anything." He pinches the bridge of his nose, shaking his head, and begins to make his way to the front door. "I'm almost starting to regret what we did. You should've just hooked up with that Nathan guy. Would've saved me… us… all this… trouble."

"I definitely regret it." She immediately replies, not entirely sure why she said it, because she's not entirely sure it's the truth. As complex as it has made things, she can't deny that it was good. That it was exciting. That it was potentially the best she's had. "I… I mean-"

"Don't. I know you mean it." His eyes narrow and the glare sends a sharp shiver down her spine. That look, more than any other, is not one she has seen from him. Not ever. Not directed at her. "You're stubborn and I'm exhausted. This is it, yeah? Won't have to see me again."

"Good. Get out." She states sternly.

He turns to the door and grabs the handle, letting out what sounds to be a disappointed sigh, and tilting his head down to the ground.

Cassidy opens her mouth to tell him to leave again, but is stopped as he swiftly turns around, grabbing her face and pressing his lips firmly against hers. There's no movement, just him against her, and she opens her eyes to see his squeezed shut. Her hands softly grip onto his Rolling Stones t-shirt, intending on separating them, and a subtle, sad whimper is drawn out from him. He pushes her back just as quickly as he had pulled her in, and takes less than a second to stare into her eyes before swinging the door open and slamming it shut.

She stands there, frozen in place, only able to pick out a single thought, or question, that's whirling around in her mind.

What just happened?

What the hell just happened?

She doesn't even have time to process anything, as the door slowly opens back up. Her chest tightens and her breath hitches, but she's met with the tired, yet cheerful face of her mum.

"Hello, darling!" She greets her daughter. "Was that Harry I saw driving away?"

Cassidy's throat becomes dry and she tries to swallow the lump that's wedged itself there.

"Y-yes. It was."

"He's such a sweet boy." Her mum replies, walking past and placing bags of food on the kitchen counter.

But Cassidy continues to stare at the front door.

"I always thought he was keen on you." Her mum adds, fully snapping Cassidy out of her bewildered trance. "And maybe you were keen on him, too."

"Absolutely not!" She replies. Anger begins to boil up inside, and truthfully she isn't even sure why. She still hasn't had time to dissect whatever it was that just occured between the two of them. But, at this moment, she also doesn't want to. She wants something to distract herself. She opens her phone to her messages.

🗨️ Cassidy: i'm free tonight…

She inhales quickly, not really sure what she's doing, and not wanting to acknowledge that she knows it isn't great, but not really wanting to pause and think about it. She holds her breath as her phone buzzes back.

🗨️ Nathan: pick u up at 7?

🗨️ Cassidy: perfect, it's a date

[ present - Dec 2019 ]

Cassidy is beginning to think she should have listened to the entire 'Fine Line' album, not solely so she could sing and dance more at this show, but also so she can know what to expect next. She only knows three of the songs well enough, and each one was released as a single.

Harry stands in front of the microphone again, squeezing his eyes shut as he begins to strum on his guitar.

She instantly knows it'll be an emotional song. As if this night and all the memories it's bringing back isn't enough, these types of songs seem to be getting to her tonight.

"Put a price on emotion, I'm looking for something to buy." He begins, almost causing her to growl as the lyrics seem to be the complete opposite of what she's feeling. It's saying he wants some, and right now she has too much. Ironic.

Already, the corners of her eyes become moist and she wipes it away before tears can fully form. But being there, seeing him, hearing the songs, is all overwhelming. The song itself is sentimental, but something about it is really digging into her soul.

"We'll be a fine line…"

Just like the song from earlier, she knows that this will mean so much to so many people, and in so many different ways. And it's true for her too. Not just for one specific reason, but for a few.

As that one-line chorus continues, she does what she can to not dwell on it each time it's sung.

"Spreading you open is the only way of knowing you…"

Wait a second. Obviously Cassidy hates arrogance more than anything, and she never wants to make something out of nothing, but those lyrics sound familiar. Like something she's heard before. No, like something that's been said between them before.

Coincidence, right? It's just a coincidence. Common phrases, common experiences. Admittedly, he's good at making every one of his songs feel personal to whomever is listening and that's what has happened here. That's all it is.

"We'll be a fine line…"

He looks up that time, but she knows it couldn't have been to her. He was just glancing up to see his fans, even though the section she is in is only for family and friends. But that's what it is, he's looking for those people. Family and friends. Like Gemma. Whose arm she feels begin to wrap around her own waist and sway them both along to the rhythm of his guitar.

That single line chorus continues as she manages to get her breathing to do as well. Continue. That is, until he pulls away, strumming his guitar for a few chords, and just as he brings his mouth back to the mic, he shoots a quick glance up to her. Unmistakably to her.

"We'll be alright…"

Nope. No she won't.

[ flashback - June 2017 ]

Despite it being Summer, overcast skies perfectly mirror the tone of the day. Not Robin's personality, because he was always such a bright presence to be around, but definitely the feeling of what his passing means to everyone else.

As harsh as it may sound, she assumed she'd be attending the funeral of the other father figure in her life, not that he was much of one though. Her own father was a much more likely candidate for a day like this. Though she actually isn't convinced she'd even attend his.

But today is not about anything except remembering Robin, and being there for Gemma and Anne.

And Harry, she supposes. Though, that will be from a distance if she can help it. It's been over a year since they've seen each other, and so much has happened during that time. She's moved on, not that there was much to move on from to begin with, and has been immersed in her busy life just as he has with his own. However, there's a lingering twinge of something, and she wants to be careful.

"Does anyone need anything?" She asks the family as they stand around in the backyard, occasionally mingling with those who were in attendance at the memorial.

"No thank you, sweetheart." Anne replies, giving a small smile as she squeezes Cassidy's hand. "Do you?"

Her question tightens Cassidy's chest. Not because she does need something, but because Anne never fails to make her feel looked after. And loved. And Robin was the same way.

She shakes her head, quickly wiping a few tears that threaten to fall, and clears her throat. "No, no. I'm fine. You don't need to worry about me… focus on your family."

"CJ…" Anne grabs her shoulders and looks at her with such a motherly love. "You are a part of our family. You always have been. And Robin loved you, sweetheart."

Cassidy pulls her lips inward, dropping her gaze to the floor as she picks at her nails.

"Maybe more than he loved Harry." She chuckles, and their eyes meet again as they both smile, almost in acknowledgement that the joke was potentially one that Robin would make himself. "Speaking of… have you seen him 'round?"

"No." She replies, feeling slightly guilty that she has been avoiding him, but guilty solely for the reason that his mother is asking about his whereabouts. "Do you… want me to look for him?"

She does everything in her power not to show the sudden tension in her body as she awaits an answer.

"No. I'm sure he's charming the hell out of some family member or something."

Or the pants off some girl.

Cassidy feels even more guilty for that thought. She needs to set herself straight.

"Well, I'm going 'round to get some water for myself. If I see him, I'll send him your way." She smiles, giving Anne another hug, which she reminds herself is the main task of the day.

The kitchen is empty, much to her relief, so she gets herself a glass of water and slowly sips on the contents. The quiet is nice, and welcome.

Footsteps get closer and she sighs at only having a short period of time to herself, but is grateful to see her best friend's face when she comes around the corner.

"Hey Gem." She mutters, almost to not disturb the only stress-free place in the house. Maybe not stress-free, but tranquil. No, not tranquil either, but sedated. That's it, sedated.

"Hey. Want something a little stronger?" She asks, pointing to the wine rack, making Cassidy giggle with a nod of her head.

"But only a little. I'm gonna have to leave within the hour to make it back before dinner."

"Right." Her best friend states, leaving a quietness around them.

"It…" Cassidy sighs, not wanting to cause Gemma or herself any heartache by bringing up memories. "Never mind."

Gemma looks up after pouring two glasses of wine, handing one over.

"You can tell me…"

"It feels weird to be in this house now." She replies, wincing at her confession.

"Well, yeah, the last time you were here was when you were-"

"I meant because Robin's… he's not here anymore." Tears begin to fill both of their eyes and Gemma wraps one arm around Cassidy's waist. Their temples lean against each other as they simply stare down at the kitchen counter, down to one of his favourite foods, only the sound of sniffles filling the room.

"I still can't believe they let me stay here for four months. Especially with my situation." She shakes her head, remembering the day she showed up to their house with bags in hand and her heart shattered.

"Your 'situation' was exactly why they let you live here, CJ!" Gemma squeezes her tighter then releases her, grabbing her glass and taking a gulp. "You're like my sister! They've always loved you. We all have."

All Cassidy can do is sigh, and attempt to hold back the flood of tears wanting to stream out, which isn't exactly working well for her.

"They were more than happy to do it." Gemma adds. She kisses her on the cheek and takes her wine glass, walking out to mingle with the other guests, leaving Cassidy alone in her thoughts.

Anne and Robin helped her more than they may ever have known. What Anne says rings in her ears. She is family. Even if Robin wasn't her actual father, he still was one to her. A better one than the one she has. And now she's lost someone from that family. She's lost him.

So much has changed since last year. Actually, everything has changed since last year. And even though she feels somewhat steadier in her life now, the Styles family, for the most part, has always been the stability in her life that she was missing from her own family. Truly, everything has changed since last year.

With the last sips of wine gone, she places her glass on the counter and decides she needs some air. Hopefully it'll clear her mind and take away the dizziness that's suddenly appeared, unrelated to the beverage she just consumed.

She begins to make her way through the house again, nodding politely at those who give her a few kind words. She feels a bit awkward accepting them, since Robin wasn't her actual dad. Yes, he was the closest thing to one that she had, considering her own couldn't care less about her, but her grief feels almost selfish. Yet, with each acknowledgement from a guest, another tear begins to form. She continues maneuvering around everyone, feeling her lungs beg to catch a full breath, as she makes it out to the backyard. Instantly, the noise and sheer presence of so many people has her head spinning, and she knows that she has to find some refuge. Fast.

Shuffling her way against the outside of the house, she walks around to the side, thankful to see that no one is lingering nearby. She takes as many steps as she can manage before pressing her back against the wall and sliding her body down.

Her knees position themselves against her chest, and her arms wrap around them in an attempt to hold herself together. She leans her head backwards and closes her eyes as she attempts to steady her breathing.

"Inhale for ten." She mumbles while she inhales as deeply as she can, which isn't much at this point. "Exhale for ten."

She growls with frustration at her failed attempt to calm herself, which only makes her breathing even faster and more shallow.

"Keep going." She hears close by, and looks over to see Harry kneeling down next to her. "Inhale for ten…"

She would potentially be annoyed that he was there, if she didn't need the help to calm down, and he helps her to regulate her breathing. She's a little surprised it's working considering who it is that's helping her.

"Breathe, Cass. You've got this." He encourages, and she responds with a nod. As odd as it is, he is making her feel a bit more at peace, or at least a bit more physically stable. She sees a subtle smile on his face as she exhales a steadier breath. "There you go."

Cassidy looks at him more directly, seeing that same concern in his eyes, it melting away with every normal breath she takes.

"Better?" He asks softly.

"Better."

"Good. It's a bit overwhelming here, yeah?" He chuckles, looking down at the ground with a shake of his head.

"Yeah." She mutters back, feeling stable, but less at peace, as she fully registers his presence beside her. But she can handle it. It's been long enough. "Thank you… for your help…"

"No problem." He mumbles, imitating her position against the wall.

They sit in silence, both looking out ahead of them, the only noise being the crowds around the corner who are actually engaging in conversation with each other.

She decides that she is steady enough to rejoin everyone, and rubs her legs before placing them on the ground with the intention of pushing herself up.

"How've you been?" Harry asks, stopping her movements as her eyes move over to meet his. That's when she gets a good look at him. A good look at how good he looks.

"Your hair is shorter." She blurts, closing her eyes and scrunching her nose at her inability to keep her thoughts to herself.

He chuckles and runs his fingers through the curls she was just admiring.

"Been like this for 'bout a year now." He responds, bringing his lips inward to hide a smile. Failing. "You didn't know?"

"No." She lies. She knew. It's hard not to hear or see stories and photos about one of the world's most popular megastars. But is she going to give him that satisfaction? No. There was only that one time, on Christmas, when she gave him a compliment like that, and that was too much.

"Hm."

Her gaze drops down as she circles a finger around the top of her knee.

"You didn't answer my question." He adds, causing her to quickly turn back to the man beside her. "How've you been?"

"It's not really the best time to ask, is it? I've been better."

"You know that's not what I mean, Cass."

She sighs. She knows. Although the emotions of today sort of cloud everything else at the moment. But, also, maybe she's using that as an excuse to not share any details of her life. Not only are there so many, but she isn't sure if it's his business to know. If he deserves to know.

"It's been good. Busy."

That should be enough to ease his curiosity.

"Work? Family?"

Apparently that wasn't enough. Nosey bastard.

"Both, yeah." She simply states, trying not to let the growing annoyance overcome her to the point of lashing out. Definitely not today, definitely not there.

"Still at POPSUGAR then?" He inquires, suddenly and subtle scooting a smidge closer towards her.

"Yeah."

"Wow. Riveting."

There it is. The frustration. He sure knows how to push her buttons and bring it out in her. Easily.

"Why is my life such a pressing matter to you?"

"What? We can't have casual conversation?" He rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

"I just don't want to talk about things right now."

His brow furrows, and his lips press firmly together as he takes a deep breath. He turns his body towards hers and his gaze pierces into the side of her head.

"You never want to talk about things, Cass. Apparently not even cordially now. The only time we've ever had a real, normal conversation is that morning after I stayed in your hotel ro-"

"Knock it off, Harry."

"Was having sex the only way I could get to know you?" He growls, in such a deep tone that if this conversation did not have an argumentative context, it would be a major turn on for her.

"I said knock it off!" She immediately stands up, unfortunately seeing Harry do the same. She crosses her arms over her chest and glares.

"All I've tried to do is be in your life... like, be your friend… but, fuck, it's so difficult that I…" He sighs, jostling his hair around and letting fall back into its perfect position, as it always seems to do. Then he looks up at her with a glare. "I almost wish we never met. That you never met Gemma."

As much as he has tormented and teased her, she never thought those words would come out of his mouth. She never thought he actually felt that way about her.

Anger boils over. She feels as if he has no right or reason to be that upset about anything that's happened between them. And if he does, then he didn't have to talk to her, he didn't have to help her, hell, he didn't have to have sex with her.

"I shouldn't have said-"

"But you did." She sighs, her eyes darting behind him, hoping to see a clear path to escape back to the house, which she finds. "Look, we are what we are. Childhood… acquaintances… or whatever. Having sex crossed the line, apparently a very fine line, and now it's made things weird. It was… a mistake… but now we just need to move past it."

"Childhood cquaintances?"

"Harry… come on-"

"No, you 'come on', Cassidy! I'm trying to keep my cool, but you're really testing my patience, because this is so stupid. I don't know why we can't be t-... friends, maybe I'll never know. But… but…" He growls as he stutters and she notices his jaw clenching along with his fist. He takes a deep breath and frowns. "I don't want to fight you on this anymore. I give up. I fold. We both have our own busy lives. So, we'll just go our separate ways and we'll be alright, yeah?"

"Our paths don't even cross anymore. So, yeah, we'll be alright." She responds, a little sarcasm and snark added in there to bite back at him.

She begins to walk around Harry, her heart tight and her head becoming dizzy yet again. But this time it's from emotions.

"I want us to be alright." She hears him whisper, realizing he must have thought she was out of earshot. Then she feels the panic threaten to reappear and quickens the pace of her feet. But as she rounds the corner, she slows down. Despite the words, the confusion, the frustration, she realizes there's also a caring quality she hasn't really thought about with him.

She wants them to be alright too. But they're not. And they are not going to be.

[ present - Dec 2019 ]

'Fine Line' becomes melodic, which signals that it's coming to an end, and Harry blows kisses to the crowd. He looks up to the section where she stands with Gemma and salutes the occupants, making sure to blow a few extra kisses to his sister.

"I need to get going." Cassidy states, her heart beating rapidly.

"Oh, this isn't actually the end. There's an encore." Gemma replies with a smile, leaning in closer in her ear. "He's got some surprises. He's singing 'Juice' by Lizzo."

"Damn it. I love that song. But I do have to go." She replies. "Tomorrow's the last day before the holiday break…"

"Right." Gemma nods and gives her a big hug. She pulls back and looks straight into Cassidy's eyes with a caring yet pleading look. "Are you coming over on Christmas this year?"

"Ummm…" Her eyes quickly flicker over to the stage, no one there to meet her gaze. She hasn't been over to the Styles' house for Christmas since that weird night a few years back. So much has changed since then. Too much to spend time there again, especially a holiday. "I don't know. Probably not, to be honest."

"Okay. I have presents, but I can bring them over another time if someone's okay with waiting…"

Cassidy lets out a little chuckle. Waiting will give her another chance to hang out with her best friend, and a way to avoid any unwanted run-ins with certain others.

"We can wait."

•••

She was expecting to feel a few things last night at Harry's show, she was expecting her boss to assign some sort of piece to write once she found out she had been there, and she was expecting to be quite tired in the morning.

But what Cassidy wasn't expecting was to hear a knock at the front door as she gathers everything to head out of it.

"Shit." She quietly mumbles under her breath, setting down the bags she just had on her shoulders.

She walks over and swings open the door, only to have the wind knocked out of her.

"Harry!" She breathes out. "Ummm… h-hi! What's… what's up?"

He smiles that obnoxious grin, and she realizes it still, after all these years, causes a little tingle in her stomach.

"Hello." He runs his hand through his soft, curly locks. She's able to get a better, closer look at them now. His hair is definitely longer than the previous time she saw him, over two years ago. He's dressed in a hoodie, under a coat, and some sweatpants. A typical and appropriate 'day after a show' outfit for Harry. "I didn't get a chance to say hello, or goodbye, last night."

"Yeah, sorry." She replies, still in shock that he is even standing there, let alone that he had wanted to see and interact with her the night before. "I had to leave early."

"Well, I just… wanted to say thank you for coming."

"Oh." She manages to respond, that inconvenient flustering instantly coming back to her. "You didn't have to come all this way to thank me though."

"Felt better to do it in person." He shrugs, his hands shoved in his pockets, like she's seen him do before, and his gaze occasionally dropping to his feet.

"That's… really nice, Harry. And it was a great show." She admits, giving him a simple smile and receiving one back from him.

A tugging on her coat interrupts the conversation, and Cassidy realizes that in her stunned state, she has forgotten what she was doing, and where she is going.

"M'ready!"

Both Cassidy and Harry's gazes drop down to the toddler standing right beside her.

"I'm sorry, honey. I was just talking to-"

"Hello!" Harry states, crouching down to the eye level of the little girl and putting his hand out to shake hers. "I'm Harry. What's your name?"

"Cece!" She exclaims, a wide grin beaming across her face, and placing her hand into his.

"It's nice to meet you, Cece."

"Y'know Mummy?" She asks, looking between the two adults. Harry looks up to Cassidy, with a mixture of surprise and amusement in his expression, and her chest tightens.

"I do! We are fr-... we've known each other for a very long time."

"Wow!" She replies. "Wanna see Matilda?"

"Who's Matilda?"

"Matilda!" She shouts enthusiastically, running through to the next room and leaving his question unanswered. He lets out a chuckle and stands back up to be face to face with Cassidy.

"Cecelia, we don't have-" She yells back into the house, realizing her attempt to catch her daughter's attention and stop her mission will only fail.

"You're a mum?" Harry asks softly, attracting her gaze again.

"Yeah." She quietly replies.

He crosses one arm around his chest and tugs on his lower lip.

"H-how old is she?"

"She's three." She answers, her heart racing, knowing what he's doing as he stays silent and his brow furrows. He's calculating. "She's… she's not yours."

"Oh." He clears his throat, folding his other arm around his torso and bringing his beautiful green eyes up to meet hers. "F'course."

"I would've told you… if she was."

"Hm." He hums back. "Right, well, I… umm… I will let you get back to things. I just… wanted to thank you for coming last night."

He gives her a small smile, putting his hands in the front pocket of his hoodie, and turning around. He takes a few small steps and something inside Cassidy screams at her to stop him. Why? She has no idea. But she seems to have lost control of herself.

"Harry, wait."

What does she even want to say? She wasn't planning on calling out to him, and now she seems to have lost her logic as he turns around to face her.

"I… umm… it's good to see you." She blurts out.

"You too." He mumbles back.

"Mr. Harry!" Cecilia yells, jogging her little feet to the front door, and stopping there with a sad little pout. "I didn't find Matilda. You didn't meet 'er!"

"That's alright, love." He replies gently, taking a step back towards her, and giving her a big smile. "It was very nice to meet you though!"

"Maybe t'morrow." She responds.

"Oh, umm…"

"Mummy makes peeps on Sat'days!"

"Crepes, honey." Cassidy corrects her. She looks up from her daughter's beaming face to see Harry's wide and expectant expression. "We make crepes on Saturdays."

"Right. Your mummy loves crepes." He tells Cecelia.

"Me too! Me too!" Her daughter bounces up and down. "Mummy, please?"

"Oh. Umm…" Cassidy darts her eyes between her daughter and the man in front of them, unsure how to make the interaction and conversation any less awkward. Cecelia's eyes are so hopeful, and Harry seems to be expressing almost the same emotion. It's almost too much to bear with them unknowingly teaming up.

As her gaze lands and focuses on Harry, she realizes he is staring down at Cecelia with a wide grin, seemingly adoring, and it tugs on her heart so much that she can't hold herself back.

"If he isn't busy…"

His eyes shoot up to her with the most shocked look. The grin he displayed moments ago quickly reappears and he nods.

"I'd love to."

"Yay!" Cecelia squeals. She grabs her little backpack from where her mum had set it down, along with her favourite stuffed animal of the day, and grabs Cassidy's hand. "Okay, Mummy, le's go!"

"Alright, alright." She chuckles. "Grab your water bottle first, yeah?"

She nods, and runs off again, causing Cassidy to shake her head with another chuckle at her daughter's carefree demeanor.

"I don't have to come over. You can tell her I had to work or something." Harry states bluntly, no tension, yet also no confidence, in his tone.

Now it's her turn for a shocked look. She didn't expect any of this to be happening, but for some reason she also didn't expect him to give her an out.

"No, Harry. You're welcome to come."

He pulls his lips inward, like she's seen him do many times before, as he tries to cover up a smile.

"What time should I come by?"

Suddenly, her heart flutters. There it is again. She's charmed for a moment. Her instinct tells her to guard herself, to rescind the offer, and tell him it's best not to come. But she doesn't want to do that to him. No, she doesn't want to do that to her daughter. Her daughter. That's all.

"How about 8am?"

He nods quickly as little trodding of feet can be heard getting closer.

"Sounds great." He bends down. "I'll see you tomorrow morning Cece!"

•••

Cassidy does what she can to keep herself busy, but can't seem to shake the anxiety taking over her as she waits for Harry to arrive. The entire rest of the day before she was in a daze. She couldn't fully focus on her video meeting with the other writers, she barely got any of that work done, and she burned the spaghetti she was making for dinner. Though, Cecelia was more than happy to have chicken nuggets as an alternative.

But this morning it's all clear, and she can fully comprehend what is about to take place. Harry would be there soon. The man who frustrated and annoyed her beyond belief. The man who charmed her then made her out to be a fool. The man who was so persistent on making things way more awkward and complicated than they already were, that man would be there soon. Harry would be in her house. That sacred place she shares with her daughter. He would be there.

"Mummy! The door!" Cecelia yells, snapping her out of all those chaotic thoughts. She walks to the door and opens it up, finding Harry standing there with coffees in hand and a hot chocolate for Cecelia.

"Good morning." He holds up the goodies in his hands. "Hope this is alright…"

"It's… yeah… it's great. Thank you." She steps aside to let him in, her heartbeat thumping in her ears as he steps inside. She leads him to the kitchen where he sets down the drinks.

"She can have hot chocolate, right? I should've asked first, somehow."

"Harry!" Cecelia exclaims as she rushes to his side.

"Hello again." He chuckles, squatting down to her eye level. "How are you?"

"Wanna see Matilda?"

"Now, tell me, who is Matilda?" He asks.

"Our kitty!" She replies.

He looks up at Cassidy as he stands.

"I didn't think you liked cats…" He states, almost inquisitively.

"I liked your mum's cat. I got Matilda after I moved out…" She quickly clears her throat. "...of my parents' house."

He nods and gets pulled by Cecelia down the hallway, giving Cassidy a moment to release the deep breath she didn't know she was holding in.

She turns to her cookware and ingredients, beginning to make the weekend breakfast she is so accustomed to making for two of the three people currently inside her home.

Thankfully, her process is speedy and the crepes are ready within minutes, accompanied with an array of toppings placed along the counter.

"Umm… food is ready…" She states, hearing Harry and Cecelia make their way back to the kitchen.

"...an' I had a brown bunny, but I los' it." She hears her daughter sadly state, seeing her head down as she still holds onto Harry's hand with her little fingers.

"That's terrible." He replies, looking at her with as much compassion as he did when he saw Cassidy in her panicked state, long ago.

"Yeah." She replies, looking up at the counter and licking her lips. "Peeps!"

He chuckles at her sudden turnaround, and squeezes her hand before grabbing a plate.

"Here Cece, take this plate and sit on your chair, please." Cassidy says, motioning her daughter over to the small kitchen table, usually only hosting the two of them.

"I think I met all of her stuffed animals today." Harry states as he places a crepe on his own plate.

"She's…" Cassidy begins, not exactly knowing how to describe her daughter, especially to him.

"She's… adorable." Harry finishes for her, giving her a quick glance and a subtle smile before making his way to the table.

Cassidy takes a moment longer to grab her own food, taking peeks at the two at the table, who anyone would think have known each other for all three of Cecelia's years of life. She is talking his ear off and he is giving her as much attention, if not more, as he gives anyone else he is in conversation with. Admittedly, one of his good qualities, maybe his only one.

•••

Through all the surprisingly casual conversations, a few sessions of Cecelia persuading Harry to color with her, and a cup of tea, she doesn't realize how long Harry's been there until she sees Cecelia yawn and looks at the clock.

"Oh! Cece, it's naptime, honey." She states, hurriedly standing up from the sofa they had made their way to.

"Mummy, no… I don' need a nap…" Cecelia drags out, though the rubbing of her eyes betrays her statement.

"I think you do." Cassidy smiles.

"I wanna stay up!" She argues, looking sleepily towards Harry, as if trying to convince him to be on her side.

"Naps are great! Might need to take one myself when I get home." He smiles at her, pushing himself off the couch to encourage her to do the same. "But I had loads of fun today! Thank you for inviting me!"

"Y'welcome."

He kneels down to shake her hand, but she throws herself, with outstretched arms, into his chest and he instantly wraps his own around her.

She pulls away and reaches for her mum's hand, giving Harry a little wave.

"Buh-bye Harry." She mumbles.

"Goodbye Cece." He replies.

"I'll… umm… I'll just be a few minutes. Sorry." Cassidy states before walking down the hallway.

"No problem."

•••

After quite a few questions from Cecelia, typical toddler stuff, and an attempted negotiation to avoid naptime, she finally falls asleep and Cassidy is free to leave her bedroom.

She walks back to the sofa to see Harry typing on his phone.

"Sorry about that." She expresses, suddenly very aware that it is just the two of them in the room, the atmosphere a lot less giggly and a lot more awkward. At least on her part.

"You don't have to apologize for taking care of your daughter." He reassures her.

"Thank you… for entertaining her. She's definitely a little fireball, that one."

"Just like her mum." Harry quietly chuckles, a tiny smirk slyly appearing on one side of his mouth, with a dimple just barely popping through.

"What?" Cassidy's mouth drops open in faux offense and disbelief.

"Hm. Okay. I would think Cece would be the one who plays pretend…" His smirk deepens and Cassidy finds herself becoming heated with a blush in her cheeks.

A silence falls between them, standing several feet apart, both fidgeting with the fingernails.

"Well, I-" They both state, letting out short laughs at the simultaneous statement.

"I… have to get going. Jeff, my manager, just called me. Gotta get this meeting in before the holidays." Harry states, crossing his arms over his chest. To her, he almost looks as if he's holding himself back from leaving.

"Oh. Right! Of course you're busy." Of course he is, he's Harry Styles. The one she didn't want to complicate things with those few years ago. The one who can, and probably still does, have any girl, anywhere, anytime. The one who said he wished she and Gemma never met, so that he could avoid the uncomfortable situation they had found themselves in.

Why did she let him come over? How did he manage to charm his way into her home and completely change her attitude towards him from the night before?

"But thank you, so much, for… inviting me over. And the crepes. I had a nice time with you. You two. Like, you and Cece." He huffs, running his ringed fingers through his hair.

She allowed herself the slightest moment to acknowledge how cute he looks, how annoyingly cute and sexy he looks at the same time. Things work out too well in his favor and it's really unfair. She hates it. There's a few reasons she does.

"Thank you. For coming over. Cece had a great time." She replies, feeling a lump form in her throat.

"Oh." He sighs, suddenly and slowly moving his way to the front door. "I'm glad."

She follows Harry to the door, her mind racing and feeling her emotions being ripped in two different directions. Everything she has felt towards him so far, with the exception of those two sinfully delicious nights, has been of a negative connotation. All the way up and through the show last night. But this time spent together this morning, watching him be sweet with her daughter, has her feeling so unsure. Of anything. Well, she can be certain that she hates uncertainty. Maybe a little more than she hates Harry. Hated Harry?

"Harry." She finds herself blurting out, right as his hand grasps the door handle, and his head twists to look in her direction. "Ummm… would you… be willing to do, like, one more little interview before the holidays?"

"What?" He asks, his full body turning towards her now. This time, they aren't too far apart, and she can pick up the distinct scent of his cologne. It's still the same. Dark and sultry.

"I know it's a lot to ask…" She mumbles, suddenly feeling a flash of heat come over her, and sweat threatening to run down her neck as she feels the faintest touch of his breath graze her face. "But… my boss knows I went to your show, and wants me to write about it. Well, I just thought maybe-"

"You could get a couple of quotes in?" He finishes her sentence.

She winces, embarrassment flooding over her, not only because she just asked Harry for an interview, but also because she just asked him to help her with her job. Not that she needs the help. So why did she just ask? Nevertheless, it's awkward and rude and he will reject it.

"Sure." He agrees, shocking her to the point of forgetting how to move. She exhales with no sign of an inhale following. Her eyes grow wide and refuse to blink. Her jaw drops open and remains slack as she just stares.

"What?" He chuckles.

Finally some function returns to her and everything resets to normal. She blinks to clear the daze she was in and shakes her head.

"I didn't think you'd agree to it."

"Why not? There's not much I wouldn't do for-... a friend-... well, a childhood acquaintance, I s'pose."

"Right. Yeah. That would be great." She replies, the haziness of surprise still looming over her. "Here. Enter your number and we can coordinate something."

She hands him her phone and her heart stops when he doesn't immediately take it, but rather stares at it instead.

"Oh, shit." She exclaims, slightly dropping her arm down, device still in hand. "You probably don't want your personal phone number out there in the world, with some random journalist-"

"Give it." He states, reaching out to grab the phone from her, and adding his contact information. "You're not someone random, Cass. And you're not just some journalist."

He hands the phone back and meets her gaze. His own expression is one of stern sincerity, which utterly throws her off.

"I sent a text to myself so I have yours, just so I know you're not 'some random journalist'. Hope that's alright." He smirks, his usual, deeply indented, dimpled smirk.

"Yes." She nods. He returns the gesture and opens the door.

"I'll talk to you soon then." He smiles, lingering for a moment longer than necessary, and she swears his eyes flicker down to her lips in the swiftest of motions. "Bye, Cass."

"Bye, Harry." She replies. As he walks away, she closes the door and frowns in confusion. From herself.

Why did she ask to do that? She didn't need an interview with him. Granted, yes, it'll make her article that much more impressive but she would have done a good job on it either way. It's not as if it would be lacking. And why did she get so flustered? Better yet, why did she let him get her that way, again, even after all this time? It's like some magical hypnotizing power that he has. She never wanted to think, or admit, it was there and that it would work on her but it has. And clearly still does.

She needs boundaries. She can't be that girl, definitely not now, definitely not since she has Cece. She needs boundaries. It's all professional. She can get the quotes, write the article, then he will fly off to his next big adventure and her life can go back to normal.

No hookups. No feelings. No complications.

Her phone vibrates in her hand and she opens up her messages when she sees the notification.

🗨️ Harry: good xx

She frowns in confusion at his text, not understanding what he might be responding to until she reads the message he sent to himself from her phone: 'I had a nice time too'

🗨️ Cassidy: you twerp

She rolls her eyes and smiles to herself, immediately letting her thumbs take over.

🗨️ Cassidy: fine… i did. i had a nice time too

If you like what I post, and want to just send some extra support, I have a ko-fi account. Even the smallest amount is greatly appreciated. There is no obligation or expectation to donate, because I am honestly just so grateful that you're here! 💗 Bee xx

Series Masterlist

•••

•••

Overall Taglist: @watermelonsugacry @tw1nflamebruis3 @hopefulwastelandcreation @tenaciousperfectionunknown @that-daydream-look @queenmadi2 @runway-to-my-aid @theekyliepage @be-yourss @harryistheonlyoneforme @b-reads-things @behindmygreyeyes @michellekstyles @a-strange-familiar @yousunshineyoutempter @buckybarnessimpp @little-freak-satellite @msolbesg @sleutherclaw @katiebaxterrrrrr @percysaidnever @thatbitch2828 @mrspeacem1nusone @thurhomish @sushiabby @harrystylesrecs @vickiii17 @itsbebeyyy @divalovesyou @bxbyysstuff @jessitpwk @sunshinemoonsposts @theroosterswife24 @boybands-baseball @austynparksandpizza @missmielyhoran @harryspirate @qualitygiantshoepsychic @tiaamberxx @matildasatellite @fool4him @cherryshouse @yatebe-kohayu @perfectzinenerdperson @babyiamperfectforyou @daphnesutton @around1302 @daydreamingofmatilda @swiftmendeshoran

#harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles series #harry styles story #harry styles writing #harry styles concept #harry styles imagine #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles x oc #best friends brother #enemies to friends #enemies to lovers #friends to lovers #harry styles enemies to lovers #harry styles friends to lovers #harry styles tour #live on tour #harry styles love on tour #hslot #harry styles hs1 #harry styles fine line #harrys house #harry fic #harry angst #harry fluff #harry smut #harry edward styles #laceleaf series

[cupidsdolll]

request a prompt

a collection of blurbs and one shots all about valentine’s ❤️.

Sweet Loving

Valentine’s Gifts and Surprises

Valentine’s Day

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader #harry styles fic #harry edward styles #harry styles one shot #harry styles writing #harry styles fan fic #harry styles fanfic #harry #boyfriend!harry styles #best friend!harry #harry styles oneshot #harry styles masterlist #harry styles x fem!reader #harry styles x y/n #cupidsdolll love letters

[hsfan94]

Y/n had been waiting for so long to tell Harry how she felt. They had been friends for a few years and she had been in love with him almost the whole time. But Harry leads a busy life and she’s had a bad history with telling guys how she feels. The timing was always off. But when Covid hit, they got so much closer. Being shacked up with Harry, Jeff and then she got to spend more time with him then she ever had. When he went off to shoot the movie, she missed him so much every day. She finally decided to tell him one night and snuck down to find him talking to Jeff.

“I’m serious mate, I’m falling for her.”

“And I’m telling you, Harry, it’s a bad idea.”

Y/n’s interest in their conversation piqued. She hoped they were talking about her but she was upset Jeff thought it was a bad idea.

“She makes me feel different, Jeff. She’s different.”

“Harry, she’s married. With kids.”

Her heart fell. They were not talking about her. Not only that. Her Harry was thinking about being a homewrecker.

She ran upstairs quietly. She couldn’t listen to more.

For some reason, Harry never confided in her about Olivia. She didn’t know anything else about it until Jeff’s wedding, when they showed up together without warning.

“Olivia, this is my good friend, Y/n. Y/n, this is Olivia, my girlfriend.” A shit eating grin spread on his face and how could she ruin that by showing her true feelings.

“Nice to meet you, Olivia. I’ve heard so many good things.” She gave her a hug and spent the rest of the wedding away from Harry and drinking.

What y/n didn’t see coming was how truly awful Olivia was. She had Harry so fooled. She was never outright mean to y/n but she was very fake and y/n was the only one who could see her for what she was, a bad person. Not that it was her biggest concern, but his new relationship also made less time for her. They went from seeing each other everyday in 2020 to once a month in 2021 and 2022 and he hardly ever texted or called. She missed her friend, her Harry she met in 2017, who would make it a priority to text her once a day and call once a week. Not only did they rarely speak but when he was with Camille he called her for advice constantly which hurt like hell but she loved having his trust. He’s told her nothing about his relationship with Olivia. She’s in the dark and that feels worse than anything because it’s like he doesn’t trust her anymore.

Since she’s been in the dark, she’s been tuned into the gossip sections on social media. Her heart did somersaults when she heard they had broken up around the time of the premiere in Venice. She was even more excited when he had asked her to dinner nearly three weeks after the breakup rumors started. She knew it was time to tell him how she felt.

“I’m so happy to see you, H.” She approached the table he was already seated at.

“It’s been too long,” he said as he hugged her.

“Yeah all because of you, you busy bee! Have you even had time to feed yourself?”

They sat down and chattered on and on while looking over the menu and having drinks. Y/n couldn’t take it anymore. She had to tell him.

“H. I really need to tell you something and I don’t know if my timing is perfect but I think it’ll be a little less embarrassing than any other time I could have told you the last two years.”

He sat up straight.

“Ok yeah. What’s going on?”

“I’m in love with you. I have been for like five years and I don’t know you know us we keep busy and you’ve had girlfriends and I don’t know I heard you and Olivia broke up and-“

“Sorry I’m late!” She’s cut off by Olivia’s voice.

When she looks up she sees her place a hand on Harry’s shoulder before leaning down to kiss him. This has to be the worst thing that has ever happened to her.

“Oh. Oh Um. No worries. I actually didn’t know you were coming, H didn’t say anything. Anyway, I have to go you two enjoy.”

She rushed out of her seat, messily grabbing her stuff and briskly heading to the door.

She was halfway down the block when she heard Harry call after her.

“Y/n!”

She turned on her heel and met his face with her tear stained one.

“It’s okay, Harry. I just need to go.”

“You don’t have to. You can eat with us. I won’t say anything.”

“My feelings for you are not the only problem. I don’t know you anymore. Why wouldn’t you tell me she was coming? Why don’t you tell me about her period? I don’t know anything that goes on behind closed doors anymore, I feel like a fan having to tune into Instagram to find out about your life. That was so embarrassing.”

“It wasn’t embarrassing and I’m sorry I’ve shut you out. But please just come eat with us. Get to know her, I’ll talk about it all with you.”

“I can’t Harry. I miss my friend so much but I can’t pretend everything is fine anymore. I love you so much, I don’t want to hear about your relationship and I don’t want to third wheel you. I just need to go.”

“Okay. Can I call you later? To make sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah. Just give me a few days.”

They both start to walk away but she remembers something she hasn’t said.

“Hey, Harry.”

He turns around to face her again.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you. For still wanting to be my friend.”

“Always. I do love you y/n.”

“I know.” She smiles sadly.

They wave goodbye again and go their separate ways.

AN: thinking about doing a part two

#harry styles #harry’s house #harry x reader #harry styles fic #one direction #love triangle #best friend #harry styles angst #angst #famous harry #dont worry darling #harry pls

[ilove1dbro]

#unspoken words #poetic #unrequited love #best friends to lovers #maybe i missed something #one direction #harrys house #harry styles #louis tomlinson #walls #faith in the future #liam payne #niall horan #zayn malik

[harryshomebaby]

thinking about how harry wanted to make the show special for everyone watching and he sat down and composed a 10 minute ballad that perfectly encompasses the way he’s feeling and what love on tour (and the ending of it) feels like to him and he loved it so much he played it to close out the biggest chapter of his life after performing his biggest songs

#and then he performs one just for us.. phew 😢 #music is so powerful truly #composers write feelings and I will stick to that forever #he’s so beautiful #and his song which I’m calling ‘finale’ is an absolutely beautiful piece #I listen to music like this almost every day #and it feels so special to me so I can’t imagine how it feels to the people who were there and HIM and all his best friends and family #what an incredible moment for the impact this tour made on everyone #I’m still crying #Harry’s house #love on tour #Harry styles

[septembersghost]

Yesterday I listened to fine line from top to bottom to celebrate her birthday and I am once again pissed at grammys for snubbing her. Like FL was one of the best albums in 2019-20 and it deserved a nomination for AOTY(we know nothing could beat folklore but FL deserved to be on the list). I don't know how it only got 1 Grammy like........a lot of people found solace in her and she deserved big 4 nominations .

our vibes are so aligned, i listened to it from top to bottom yesterday too! many of the songs are really never out of rotation, but it had been a bit since i'd listened to the album all the way through, and yet again i was struck by what a brilliant record it is. just perfectly crafted from top to bottom; depicts a whole emotional journey; meaningful/insightful lyricism along with the complete bops; rich, quirky, interesting instrumentation/production (the glockenspiel in golden! the submarine and the bass in adore you! the horns in ws! the gospel choir in lights up! the harmonies in cherry! the piano line in falling! the cello in tbsl and when he blows out the match! the dulcimer he learned to play for canyon moon! i could go on!); impeccable vocals. my mom and i were talking about falling and how affecting it still is last week (and how beautiful, especially on headphones), and honestly it's true of fine line as a whole. to begin with golden, which is actual sunshine captured in music, to close with fine line being such a powerful track, both aching and cathartic. the way we'll be alright ended up carrying so many of us.

something i noticed looking at some posts/tweets for fine line yesterday was exactly what you said - so many people found solace in that record, it's like it created a safe, comforting place for us to go and spend some time when the world was heavy. as much as i can't imagine getting through 2020 without folklore, i can't without fine line either (and fine line was already really important to me, even at the end of 2019, the events of 2020 just added depth to that). folklore is a masterpiece and changed the trajectory of taylor's career in some ways, and it's so defining as a piece of art and culture, but that doesn't lessen fine line's worth! i genuinely love hs3 and find it a joy to listen to, but there's something so special and meaningful in fine line. i totally agree it merited more recognition. as his career grows, i wonder if it will be re-evaluated with time, like red has been for taylor (even before red tv). (it's a little wild that its grammy award came for arguably the weakest song on the record, even though it was the most popular. and i am by no means against watermelon sugar, i love it, but! the album is much more than that). the grammys are inexplicable and very political at times, and there's not necessarily rhyme or reason to what they decide is "deserving," as cool as it is to see our faves be nominated/win, the ultimate arbiters of how valuable any music is comes down to what it meant and continues to mean to us. that's the thing i think harry is aware of too, and why he celebrates it with us (the album is yours, i am yours; i love you every day, but especially today; pink and blue forever!), because he realizes how dear it is and that it was a real light amidst a lot of uncertainty and darkness. i'll never forget that.

#harry styles #fine line #i have thoughts about this but i don't want to derail the discussion in the reply itself so i shall tag essay it: #when stevie called fine line his rumours...yeah. and to me fine line is his red. the mastery of it. the depth of emotional highs and lows. #the gorgeous production. the fusion of many genres. #fine line crosses from sparkling pop with r&b influence to 70s rock inspiration to laurel canyon singer songwriter #it captures many different facets of love and self reflection and confessionals #it maps out a story from euphoric to heartbroken to healing #and then hs3 serves as his 1989 pivot. much more pure glistening pop less incisive but more palatable lyrics #massive breakout hit that's absolutely everywhere. new heights of popularity that sadly come with a bit of a downside #a bunch of awards and accolades and critical acclaim in the wake of the previous more intimate record being somewhat overlooked #the mirrors between that are so interesting to me #(adore you is his most perfect pop song like style is taylor's though which is why they match together so flawlessly) #anyway yes anon it's such a gem and i cherish it always #also love how you called fine line 'she' here that's so true she's my confidante she's my sunshine she's one of my best friends #she's so golden she's my strawberry lipstick state of mind my sunflower my sky never looked so blue my sunshine my temptress #she lives in daydreams with me #anonymous #letterbox

[eveningepiphany]

hotel room | H.S

summary: harry & Y/N are friends but it’s a love hate relationship with so much tension you can hardly breathe. this tension isn’t any better when they get stuck in a hotel room together for the night. and it only has one bed.

warnings: SMUT! hand job (f+m receiving), PIV unprotected, sloppy morning sex, teasing, swearing, praise, friends to lovers.

A/N:I have opened my requests! and I’d love to write some from you guys, so send them in here <3

———

“So there’s only… definitely only one room for us?” I say slowly, and the lady behind the counter nods.

“Y/N,” Harry says, “we’ve shared a room before—“

“I’m so sorry the inconvenience— Since the multitude of delayed flights from the storm we’ve had an unexpected influx of last-minute bookings…” her hands are zipping along the keyboard as she is clearly under the pump.

“You’ve been booked under a single room.” She glances up, face turned up apologetically, confirming.

I nod, knowing there’s so many other people needing somewhere to stay right now, there’s no point being picky.

It’s just one night.

Because Harry and I live in the same part of the UK, we usually catch the same planes to and from when we get short breaks from touring with the band.

So of course we flew out for our Australian leg of the tour several hours ago and got stuck at our layover destination, Abu Dhabi.

The storm rolled in quick, putting hour— even day long— delays on flights. So now people are scrambling to book hotels for the next few nights.

Luckily our management got on it as soon as we’d called them about the delay of out flight, but I suppose they only could get us the one room for two.

We get our room key and head up the elevator to the 7th floor.

When we walk into the room there is a single queen bed in the centre of it, and I glance at Harry out the corner of my eye. We are always close to one another being in the band, but never “share a bed” close.

“Don’t stress.” He says.

“I’m not stressed.” I quip.

“Yes you are, don’t try and bullshit me.”

“Harry, we’re adults it’s fine.”

“Hardly adults.” He chuckles.

I scoff at his constant digs, there is a fineline of how much Harry I can tolerate in a day and we are really pushing it.

“Well if you think that then I implore you to take the couch.” I know just by looking at the couch he’d hardly fit on it, and I’m not that much of an asshole to let that happen.

“Oooh, you’re just trying t’get the bed all to yourself? Bloody bed hog.”

I open my bag up, pulling out fresh clothes and my toiletries, “Was just providing you the options. I’m going to shower.”

“Too bad if I wanted one first.” He sighs dramatically, with a little smirk that usually indicates he’s teasing.

“Too bad indeed.” I smile sarcastically at him as I shut the door.

It’s so nice to wash away the gross feeling that sticks to your skin after long flights like we just had.

When I come out of the bathroom he’s laying in the bed, crisp white doona pulled back.

“Dude you’re getting airport germs in the bed.”

He glances up from his phone, eyeing me for a split second— I’m just in sleep shorts and a plain tshirt.

“It’s fine, I’ll just have this side.” He replies, a smile breaking out over his face.

He leaves me no room to respond as he stands up, “im gonna have a shower as well, and then we can order room service, how’s that sound?”

I nod, “I’ll get the menu and have a read through.”

It’s weird how we one minute can’t stop sarcastically niggling and the next we’re back to being normal friends.

I browse through their relatively large menu as the shower runs in the background. If I strain, I can hear Harry gently humming.

I’m happy to see my favourite foods on there… and heaps of deserts.

He comes out shortly after while I’m still reading the menu, and he’s clad in only grey sweatpants, adorning damp hair.

I choose to tear my eyes away from his bare chest, “I’ve figured out what I want to get, have a read through.”

I chucked him the menu and he comes to sit down next to me on the bed.

Im surprised we don’t end up in another debate about the sleeping arrangements, but I think we’re both so exhausted from the flight. The 8 hour plane trip settling deep into our bones.

“They have y’favourite.” He says with a smile playing on his lips.

“Yea, I’m so glad. It’s all I’m craving right now.”

“What are you gonna get?” I lean to look over his shoulder at the menu.

“Maybe I’ll try their tacos?”

“I’m gonna order some of the desert stuff too.”

“Y’gonna be so full.” He laughs.

“It’ll be worth it.” I say, as I stand up to go over to the phone on the desk in the corner of the room.

I ring up and order an unnecessary amount of stuff before giving them our room number and hoping back into bed.

It’s so cozy, and if it weren’t for the food I knew was coming, I’d probably curl up and fall asleep straight away.

We lay together, talking about the plan for the next few days until the food gets delivered with a knock on the door.

I get up to open it, taking the trays of food from the kind waiter.

He groans, “God it smells good.”

We both spread the dishes of food on the bed and quickly start eating.

The TV starts playing reruns of friends, the episode where Ross makes the paste with his leather pants, trying to get them up.

We’re both tearing up with laughter, stuffing our faces with our first proper meal since dinner on the plane over 5 hours ago.

“Holy shit.” He says, and we’re are letting out fits of giggles, as Ross says “—and the lotion and the powder have made a paste…”

“I swear— why did he listen to joey.” I scoff, shoving a bite of food into my mouth.

“No, because the way it just keeps getting worse.” He buries his face into his hands with a pained grin.

We watch a few of the episodes that were playing, sharing the last of the chocolate cookies that I’d ordered.

I stood up to move all the trays our food came on over to the small kitchen bench, leaving them for the morning.

“That was so yum.” I sigh out, content and full.

I go into the bathroom to brush my teeth and finish up my night routine, ready to honestly just go to sleep.

I come out with a small smile on my lips, excited to get back into bed where it’s cozy. Slipping back under the crisp white sheets, Harry turns off the TV.

The room is now dark, “fuck… can’t see now— I gotta brush m’teeth as well.”

“Have my phone.” I chuck it in his general direction, and clonk him straight in the side.

“Ouch.” He huffs, grabbing it and turning the flash on.

He pads over to the bathroom while I roll my eyes at how dramatic he is.

He turns the lights on in there, coming back over to give me my phone now that he can see.

I text a few of my immediate family members to let them know we’d settled into our hotel, choosing to leave out the fact we’re sharing a bed.

I mean assuming that’s what the plan is. I highly doubt he wants to sleep on the couch.

Being the only female in a band of boys leads to lots of assumptions throughout my family unit. Especially with Harry.

They mistake our arguments as ‘pent-up sexual frustration’. Which is far from how I like to think of it.

He steps out from the bathroom, and I turn my torch on so he can flick the light off.

He scrapes a hand over his face, looking to me with tired eyes.

The hotel was relatively quiet now, only a few drunken laughs echoing down the hallway as it nears 12am.

He climbs back into the bed, pulling the covers over himself.

I tug my pillow down a bit before turning off my flash.

“Y’tired?” He asks quietly, sounding already kind of groggy.

I hum in agreement, rolling to face him. It’s quiet a few beats.

I can just make out his outline next to me,

I can feel the warmth of his body from where I’m laying. And it feels like I’m being enveloped by it in a strange— yet lovely way.

The thought floats around in my head, images conjuring from the darkness.

I blame this on the 8 hour flight and sleep deprivation.

Usually I can ignore it, but as much as he’s a proper pain in the ass sometimes, I’d have to be visually impaired to say he wasn’t good looking.

And hell he’s laying in the same bed as me without a shirt on.

“Y’staring at me.” He chuckles softly, and I startle a little.

“How can you even see me?” I ask, amused.

“I can’t, can just feel it.”

“As if you can feel it.” I scoff, “I’ll roll over if my eyes being on you makes you too uncomfortable.”

“No, no, wait come back.” He whines as I start to move.

I huff out a laugh, and roll back over to him.

I keep my eyes shut, “better?”

He whispers a yes, and I smile.

I keep that very smile as I drift off, listening to Harry’s slow breathes from beside me, allowing them to lull me to sleep.

———

I can only half remember waking up.

I was warm, heavy, and I felt his body before I saw it.

My eyes had only opened a tiny bit—there was light creeping through the thin curtains, making his unruly hair just visible.

My leg was thrown over his hip, and I was pressed right into his chest. We were fully intertwined, and fuck did it feel nice.

I close my eyes again, I can feel his morning wood. My heart jumps a little in my chest. Maybe I can just roll over— pretend I didn’t feel it, and go back to sleep.

I carefully strain to make the movement, but I instead get pulled closer to him.

He pushes himself against me, a sigh slipping from his nose, and I realise moving may have been a bad idea.

“Fuck…” I hear him mutter against my hair, bucking his hips up again.

“Harry.” I say, voice croaky with sleep. Of course this does nothing.

I have no idea how awake he is, I’m not even fully awake yet. But Jesus, this feels better than it should.

I feel like a horrific person for enjoying the way his clothed-length is pressed into me. But by god I am not strong enough to remove myself from this situation.

“Harry, wake up.” I groaned, squirming a little in his grasp.

He seems to come to it, just enough to realise whatever the fuck is happening in a couple seconds.

“Y/N…? Fuck. what is—“ I feel his body tense underneath me as it hits him, and he probably feels his boner pressed between my legs.

His hand flys up to my thigh that’s resting on his hip, “Holy shit—“

“It’s fine, H.” I whisper, and I’m not really sure why I say that, or what I’m implying by doing so.

Or what it means paired with the fact I haven’t protested to his dick practically grinding against my cunt.

“What do you mean?” He asks, groggily.

“Not sure.” I confess, whimpering a little as he still is hard underneath me. I push into him a bit out of unspoken desire and I hear him swallow.

He doesn’t say anything as he slides his hand up my leg, cupping it on my ass.

I glance up to see his face, his eyes still half-lidded, and his cheeks have a gentle flush to them.

I feel myself getting wetter as he keeps rubbing himself along my thin sleep shorts.

He moans a bit, and I slip my hand between us to palm his cock through his sweatpants.

“This ok? Want me to help you out a bit?”

“God— yes please…” he groans.

I push it underneath his waistband, tugging him out.

He’s heavy and hot in my hand. Glancing down, its bigger than I expected. The tip is flush and red, glistening with the damp beads of precum. Hardly surprising he’s got such a pretty cock.

“Fuckin’ Christ— look at y’little hand wrapped ‘round me.” He swears.

I slowly squeeze the head of it, and that quickly has him bucking into my palm.

His own hand travels between my sleep shorts, “Mind i return the favour?”

I hum in agreement, but he doesn’t do anything, “Gotta hear you say it, tell me what you want.”

I roll my eyes, of course he’s like this in bed, wants to hear how bad I want him.

“What do you want me to say to you Harry? How bad I want your fingers in my wet cunt right now, or how I want you to fuck my clit with your tongue?”

“Want my tongue do you? Because yes that’s exactly what I’d like to hear.” He says, smirking as he dips his hand under my shorts, running his fingers through me.

“No panties… been next to me all night with your pussy so easily accessible. Such a little slut.”

He collects my arousal, carrying it up to my swollen clit. I moan with the action, trying to keep my hand pumping rhythmically.

This proves to be a challenge, as he’s very clearly skilled with his fingers.

“Fuck, you’re so wet. Hardly even touched you.”

“Been grinding your dick into me for a bit, actually.” I hiss as he slips a finger into me.

“Sorry, Baby. Did my hard cock get you all worked up?” He teases, and I hate the fact that he’s right.

I give a particularly hard squeeze and he grunts, “I’ll take that as a yes.”

He quickens the pace of his fingers, fucking them in and out of me.

“Hard to hate me when I’m making you feel so good, hm?” He kisses my forehead, curling his fingers in me.

I cry out. Fuck— I was going to come.

“Wait, wait, wait— don’t wanna come yet, please…” I clench my thighs around his hand and it stills.

I look up at him, his green eyes burning with desire.

He doesn’t say anything, just leans his head down and places a wet kiss on my lips.

He keeps his fingers pumping slowly in and out of me as we start to kiss.

He brings me close to coming again a few times, just to tease me, but he keeps his focus on my lips— pulling my bottom one between his and sucking on it.

It’s messy and sloppy, edges of it blurred from the morning haze still over us.

“Harry.” I say into his mouth, legs shaking a little.

“Want you in me.” It comes out of me as an unbridled thought.

“Jesus…” he murmurs, stunned by hearing the words fly out of me so openly.

He pulls his lips away, cock twitching in my hand, “you want…”

“You want me to fuck you?”

I nod, grabbing the hem of my shirt and slipping it off.

He’s enamoured by me, it’s clear in his eyes.

He reaches his hand up, out of my sleep shorts and he cups my breast with it gently.

He moves his mouth down to place gentle kissed over them.

“You’re perfect, yknow that?” He says against my skin, tugging me closer to him as I smile at the flattery.

“I’m on birth control too.” I state.

He glances up, and it appears I’ve shocked him yet again, “you wanna take me raw?”

I haven’t gone without I condom in ages… but I trust him.

“We’re both clean, right? I trust you.”

He smiles, “I’m clean. As long as your sure.”

I don’t think I’ve ever been surer of something.

He pulls my sleep shorts off, and I help shuck his sweats the rest of the way down his legs.

We’re warm between the sheets, and he’s peppering open-mouthed kisses along my neck as he lines himself up with me.

He locks eyes with me as he pushes in, and both of us moan at the feeling.

“Fuck— you’re tight.” He squeezes his hands on my hips.

I am blinded with the pleasure of him filling me up, I can’t even think about how bad an idea this could be.

“Feels so good, H.” I groan, scraping my nails along his chest.

“Can feel you clenching around me.” He reaches a hand down to play with my clit.

He’s gonna make me come embarrassingly quick— especially considering he sort of edged me a bit while we were kissing.

He was thrusting into me, a perfect pace to have me squirming in his arms.

I can tell he’s getting close, my name flying out his mouth paired with vulgar words and moans.

“I- fuck- I’m not gonna be able to drag this out if you keeping squeezing m’cock like that.” He pants.

“I’m close, so just come with me.” I plead, the thought of him finishing with me adding fuel to the fire in the pit of my stomach.

“God H, I’m gonna come— hard.”

“Fuck, sweetheart, keep talking.” He says, his skin slapping into mine, chasing his orgasm.

“You’re so pretty.” I blurt, spewing the first thing that comes to mind as I look at him.

He really is, his hair is tousled from sleep and my hands, his eyes half lidded from pleasure and tattooed chest slightly damp.

He swears, bottoming out and coming hard without warning. His hand circles my clit fast, bringing my crashing down with him.

“Harry!” I cry, burying my head into the crook of his neck as I ride out the waves of pleasure.

“Good girl, Y/N.” He groans, still thrusting into me trying to prolong his orgasms.

The high slowly ebbs away, and he stays in me for a bit. Nothing but the sounds of our laboured breathing filling the room.

I think we don’t know what to say, after something like that happens— when it all comes on instinct and you’re without any clue on what it changes.

Our dynamic, though it was a love-hate kind of thing, it was a consistent one. You knew what to expect. Now that this has happened…

“I have no idea what you’re thinking right now.” He whispers, “and that kind of scares me.”

I lay quietly for a few heartbeats, “just… that was really good. And I’m not 100% prepared for what might happen after this, y’know. To us I guess.”

“Well. To keep it simple, I really like you— and that was some of the best sex I’ve ever had so…” he trails off, unsure where to go with the sentence.

“Ok— so this isn’t gonna ruin our friendship?” I sigh in a bit of relief.

“Of course not,” he pulls back to look at me, and a smile spreads across his face, “after all, we are adults.”

———

#best friend!harry #harry styles smut #best friends to lovers #harry styles #harry styles fluff #harry styles imagine #harry styles oneshot #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #fluff prompts #harry styles fanfiction #fanfiction #one direction #oneshots #1d #harries #love on tour #fbh #frat boy harry #prince hair harry

[halos-little-freak]

“Okay, I'll say this, follow your gut. Always. Trust yourself. Take care of you first. Fill up your own cup, and let them fall in love with the overflow.”

“If Paul is the one, then Paul will love the overflow. Until then.... No Late Night Talking!”

-Harry’s advice to a fan

#he speaks from experience #the best therapist #gentle advice #he is really good at listening and understanding #a great friend tbh #literally will start crying at any point because of him #failed #I’m already sobbing my eyes out #i love Harry so much #what a pure and gentle soul #love on tour vienna #hslot 2022 #hslot 2022 vienna #harry #harry styles

[landhinlove]

This is my new favorite picture

#TWO TALENTED BEAUTIFUL SEXY GRAMMY WINNING BEST FRIENDS #also Harry’s smile and cheer when she won was just as adorable #I love their friendship so much #lizzoisqueen #harry styles #lizzo #2023 grammys

[old-memoria]

keep my hubby's name (matty) out of your mouth 😔 I'll fight you (jk I promise ❤️)

Matty is hot, I fully agree. Yet he comes off as a prick, so i wont ruin your marriage lol

btw serious question, is/ was the 1975 big in the UK? I'm not bri'ish so idk

#in my country they've never been really popular #so im wondering #because I like their music it definitely deserves more recognition #like arctic junkies 5sos or harry styles #Love It If We Made It is a goddamn masterpiece #god im old enough to remember mass 1D hysteria.. i wasnt a fan but i liked the blonde guy while my best friend was a die hard fan #we went on a school trip to italy and she bought one direction t shirt there lol i still remember the genuine happiness in her eyes #i also liked their music videos they were fun #sending you love and flower power

[be-with-me-so-happily]

Chapter 1

Series Summary: Gemma is definitely Cassidy James' favourite Styles family member, considering they are best friends and all. And especially considering that Harry Styles is Gemma's smug and self-centered younger brother. Her life isn't perfect, and neither is she, but she hates how everyone thinks Harry is. Because she knows that's not the case.

Chapter Summary: Cassidy, begrudgingly, finds herself at Harry's secret show in London in December 2019, and thinks about some of the few times she actually liked being in the same room as him, and a few of the reasons why that changed.

Chapter Warnings: Some explicit language, alcohol consumption, alcoholic parent, smut- intercourse using a condom, anxiety attack, mention of Kendall Jenner (please no hate)

[ present - Dec 2019 ]

It's been a couple of years since Cassidy's seen, and talked to, that twerp. No, twerp isn't the right word. That's what she'd call him when he'd throw mud pies at her and his sister. No, asshole is a much better word to describe him. Because his level of arrogance and annoyingness only grew with him over the years.

So, why she agreed to meet Gemma for this specific event is a mystery. Being at one of Harry's shows is less than ideal. Gemma could have picked anywhere else. And Cassidy would have preferred anywhere else. But, she's here because Gemma is her best friend, and she's missed her, so she just couldn't say no.

Her anxiety heightens as the lights dim and the crowd begins to cheer.

"Style." A voice sounds through the speakers. "Style is the answer to everything."

Is he serious? The answer to everything? He really is an arrogant son of a bitch. Of course this is his intro. Clearly his ego hasn't changed. It has definitely grown, which she didn't think was possible, but also can't be shocked by.

"To do a dangerous thing with style is what I call art."

Wrong. To do a dangerous thing, or really just anything, with Harry Styles is what Cassidy would call stupidity. And she knows first hand. She was stupid once.

[ flashback - Oct 2015 ]

Cassidy only went to shows with Gemma, and this time was no exception, but usually she is dragged there. However, the last concert of the 'On The Road Again' tour, the last concert before their hiatus, seemed like an important enough event for her to attend, without any resistance. Well, without as much resistance.

And she has to admit, the energy is electric. Even her disdain for a certain One Direction member can't really prevent her from enjoying the night. So much so that she tears up at the end, with all the 'thank yous' and hugs. So much so that she agrees to go with Gemma to meet up with them backstage. So much so that she agrees to go to the after party they have planned at the hotel, on the vip floor.

Thankfully, she and Gemma managed to snag two hotel rooms to avoid taking the hour and a half hour drive home. They usually share, but with Gemma's boyfriend there, she is not about to share a room with them. This means that there's nothing in the way of her attending the party and easily escaping back to the room when she wants to leave. She is certain she won't want to stick around too long.

Cassidy walks into the party in a black velvet crop top with matching fitted mini skirt. A bit casual, but still meeting the party vibe. She instantly feels excitement and anxiety wash over her simultaneously, seeing the grandeur of the room and the abundance of guests already in attendance, and already in full party mode.

"Come on, CJ, let's live it up tonight, 'kay?" Gemma states, more so than asks, and Cassidy knows she doesn't have much choice. Not that she's one to turn down a party, but she's never been to one this elaborate.

"Drinks first then." She replies, pointing straight over to the open bar across the expansive room.

They make their way through the crowds, who are chatting and dancing, to finally reach their destination.

"Long Island iced tea, please." Cassidy orders.

"Oh my god!" Gemma chuckles, glancing at her friend with wide eyes. "You're not messing around!"

"Nope!" She replies, grabbing the glass as soon as it is placed in front of her and immediately taking a sip. "Living it up, right?"

Gemma chuckles again with a nod, ordering her own beverage. Cassidy turns around and leans on the bar counter, scanning the faces just to see if she recognizes anyone in attendance. Anyone besides the obvious.

She spots Louis' sister, Lottie, who she has talked to before a few times backstage, so she motions to Gemma that she's going to mingle, and makes her way to the middle of the room.

She's about ten steps in when a tall figure blocks her path, causing her to abruptly freeze in place. She looks up to find Harry's piercing green eyes, something almost dangerous within his gaze.

"Didn't think you'd be here…" He states, a low hum to his tone. "Didn't think you'd even wanna come."

"I didn't." She replies, taking a long sip of her drink as she glares up at him through her lashes. "But I'm here for Gemma. And the band."

"You know, I'm part of the band."

"Oh, I'm well aware." She rolls her eyes, knowing full well that he is trying to pull a compliment out of her for himself. "But not everything is about you. Not just you, at least."

He smirks, much to her annoyance, and shakes his head. He looks past her, catching the attention of someone else, then drops his gaze back down.

"Have fun, Cass." His palm quickly comes up and pats her shoulder as he walks around her, leaving her alone again to get back to her original intent, finding another friend.

She takes a deep breath and notices that Lottie has moved, so she scans the room again and makes her way over to chat with Louis.

"Hi, love!" He greets her.

"Hey." She replies, meeting him halfway for a hug "So… do I congratulate you or what?"

He laughs and shrugs his shoulders.

"S'pose. Don' really know. Ya know? Bu' it's cool I guess."

"Well, congrats anyway."

"Ya 'aving fun?" He asks with a wide grin. "Did Harry find ya?"

"Unfortunately, yes." She groans, bringing her glass to her lips and letting a decent amount enter her mouth. They all know about the back and forth between the two of them.

"Keep drinking tha' and ya might be best friends by the end of the night!"

"Doubtful." She shakes her head, knowing there would have to be a lethal amount of alcohol in her system to even consider that as a possibility.

•••

It's not lethal, but there is definitely a lot of alcohol in her system, which is thoroughly taking over her, because she is still there and having a lot of fun.

She is dancing with Gemma, Lottie, and a girl who is dating the drummer. Or the bass player. She can't really remember in her inebriated state, but she knows she's enjoying herself.

"Shit. I need some air!" She exclaims, slowing down her body and fixing her hair before making her way out of the doors to the large balcony.

She leans against the railing, looking out at the city nightlife below, and takes a deep breath in.

"Taking a break?" An unfamiliar voice asks. "You've been going at it all night!"

She turns to the voice beside her, to be met with a guy she doesn't recognize. She smiles and lets out a breathy laugh.

"Yeah. I'm just trying to get some peace and calm to recharge."

"Cig?" The guy asks, already holding out an unlit stick in her direction.

She never smokes. She has before, it's just not her thing. But apparently all inhibition has now left because she takes the cigarette and allows the stranger to light it.

"It looks like you've been having fun out there…" The stranger leans over to make eye contact, Cassidy meeting his gaze as best she can with her lightheadedness.

"Surprisingly, yeah!" She chuckles, placing her lips on the stick and sucking in, letting a cloud of smoke exit in front of her.

"I'll join you if you hit the dance floor again." He offers, bumping her shoulder playfully and displaying a small smirk. It's not as noticeable as Harry's is. But it's also not as annoying or arrogant either. No one's could be.

"Okay!" She smiles back, glancing over and noticing how pretty the stranger's eyes are. Or at least she thinks they are.

"Hey mate!" She suddenly hears on the other side of her, causing her head to whip around and find herself meeting Harry's gaze.

"What's up. You're Harry, right? I'm Nathan." The stranger asks, whose name she now knows is Nathan. Hopefully she can remember that in her current state. She turns around to see him reach his hand out to the pest standing next to her.

"Yeah. Nice to meet you. Is this one bothering you?" Harry chuckles, pointing his thumb right in her face. She lifts up her free hand to swat it away, and does something a sober Cassidy wouldn't. She turns and giggles at Harry's gesture.

His eyes go wide and a blush rushes to her cheeks. She turns back to the stranger and takes a deep breath to do anything she can to regain control over her actions.

"Nah, we're having fun." Her new friend replies. "We were about to get back to the dance floor. Right, umm…?"

"Her name is Cassidy." Harry responds before she does, a neutral but almost stern tone.

"Cassidy? Cool." Nathan quietly states. "So, yeah. Are you… ready to head in?"

"Yeah." She replies with a nod. "I'll be there in a minute."

He nods and snuffs out his own cigarette before walking back inside.

Her head immediately snaps over to Harry, a little surprised that her level of frustration with him is not nearly as high as it usually is. But it's still there.

"What are you doing?" She asks, watching as he pulls on his lower lip.

"What?"

"Why'd you walk over here?" She subtly scowls back, again surprised that it isn't as intense, but also recognizing that the Long Island iced teas have weakened her guard against him.

"Wanted to introduce myself. I like to know the names of the people at our parties."

"Yeah right. You only came over to annoy me." She rolls her eyes, realizing there is a smile across her face and swiftly corrects her expression.

"Not everything is about you, Cass." He smirks, clearly feeling triumphant for his use of her earlier insult.

"Yeah well you don't have to try and ruin the night for me either way…"

"Doesn't look like I've been ruining it. Looks like you've been dancing around and having fun."

"You were watching me?" She shakes her head and holds her hand up in front of his face. "Doesn't matter. I was having fun, and now I'm going back to have some more."

"See you inside then."

"Please don't." She pleads, snuffing out the cigarette she admits she didn't like smoking, then turning back towards the doors and heading inside.

Gemma, Lottie, and now Lou Teasdale are all still dancing right where she left them, so she bounces up to her friends and begins to join in on the dancing again.

She glances around, not seeing the guy she had just met outside, the one who was supposedly her new dance partner, but she is drunk enough, carefree enough, and having enough fun to shrug it off.

After one song ends and the next transitions in, Michal appears next to Gemma and whispers in her ear, causing her to giggle, and then motions to Cassidy that they'll be heading over to the bar.

"We're grabbing a drink too. But we'll be back." Lottie states, linking arms with Lou. "Are you good here?"

Cassidy shrugs and nods, truly not in the mindset to care anymore. They walk away and she is left to dance by herself. Hopefully not for too long.

About half a song in, warm hands slide on to her hips, and she smiles. Finally her new dance partner has joined her. But her eyes catch the gaze of the guy she thought was behind her, also standing over at the bar, and she suddenly smells the unmistakably deep fragrance that can only belong to the one and only Harry Styles. So not only has she been left alone, which she doesn't mind, but now she's left alone with the one person she didn't want or expect to be dancing behind her.

Yet, she doesn't move.

His hands are strong, and ever so slightly caressing her hips as they sway to the music. His breath is warm, and hitting her neck in a labored rhythm. His chest is pressed up against her. She doesn't know if she's ever felt this way with someone on the dancefloor. Maybe that's just the alcohol talking. But she knows she's never felt this way with Harry, in any situation.

Yet, she doesn't move.

Instead, something ignites in her. She, unintentionally, reaches a hand behind her to grab onto the back of his neck. His breath hitches and hers follows as he pulls her closer and she feels how much he's enjoying it all.

"Cass…" He whispers in her ear.

She spins around within his hold, locking on his gorgeous green eyes that now have a hint of excitement and danger.

Her fingers travel up into the hair on the back of his head. He releases a low growl and pulls her hips flush against his, causing his lips to hover just in front of hers.

"Wanna leave?" He asks, sending a shiver down her spine.

It's the alcohol. She's blaming the multiple Long Island iced teas for the fact that she nods in response. That and the fact that she hasn't had much intimacy in a while. That is what is to blame.

He spins her back around to face away from him and guides her through the crowds with his hands on her waist. Her bare waist, thanks to her fantastic choice in outfit.

The elevator ride is only down one floor, and he all but pushes her down the hallway to his suite. As soon as the room door is closed, he pulls her in towards him and places his soft, pouty lips against her neck. She lets out a sigh and he lets in a breath, followed by a low growl.

"You smell like that damn cigarette smoke." He mumbles, and she pushes back, mildly embarrassed that the smell on her has stopped their activities.

"Bathroom?"

"That way."

She swiftly makes her way to the other room, immediately grabbing a bottle of mouthwash and swishing as much of it around in her mouth as she can. After she spits it out, she finds a small bar of soap to quickly wash off her neck, hoping it'll remove the smell. As soon as she dries off, she catches her reflection in the mirror.

What is she doing? This is Harry. Her best friend's brother and the guy she usually can't be bothered to be around. What is she doing?

She walks out, deciding she should probably stop what has been started, or about to be started. She is almost instantly met by Harry's frame, pushing himself off the wall nearby.

He slinks over, closing the gap between them, and places his hands on her bare waist once again. Her hesitation seems to melt away by the warmth of his touch, as his forehead presses on hers. Then his lips meet her neck again, causing that heat to wash over her, as her entire body melts into him, just as her hesitation had seconds before.

"You okay with this?" He utters against her skin.

"Y-yes." She replies, the shakiness of her words produced by the anticipation in her body. The alcohol. It's the alcohol. It has to be.

He pulls his head back, his eyes flickering between hers and her lips. One hand places on the back of her head and brings her closer to him. Their breaths are matched in their acceleration and she bites her lip before they press against him.

Goosebumps rush all over her. No kiss has felt this good. At least, she has no memory of one feeling this good. Not that she can think of much else at the moment.

His tongue parts her lips, working itself inside her mouth in the most tantalizing way, as he walks her backwards to the bed. Her legs hit the side of the bed frame, then her back hits the mattress, and she finds herself caged within Harry's tattooed arms.

His fingers run up her shirt as his lips meet hers once again. Everything tingles. Every inch of her body is sparked by him.

The next thing she knows, all remaining clothes are removed, and everything becomes an ignited blur of her senses. The feeling of hands roaming each other's skin, the sound of their combined symphony of moans throughout the room, the smell of sweat and Harry's sultry cologne, the taste of his lips on hers, the sight of his toned, tattooed body hovering over and rolling into her.

"Oh my-... Harry…" She whimpers out, her eyes scrunched shut and her head thrown back from the overwhelming pleasure he's providing her.

"Say it-" He utters, panting as he thrusts back into her. "Say it again." He pleads, pulling out and slamming back in. "Say my name again."

If she were sober, and not completely succumbed to the ecstasy of being filled by Harry, she would have scoffed at the narcissism. But she knows she won't hold back. Almost as if he deserves to hear her do as he's asked.

"Harry."

"Fuck, Cassidy. That sounds… like fucking music!" He growls into her neck. "Are you close?"

"Yes. So-" She breathes out, feeling her body tighten. "So close."

"Look at me. P-please." He asks of her, and she obeys, her eyes snapping open and fixating on him.

"Harry, I'm-"

"Go on." He moans, picking up the pace of his thrusts as his eyes fill with determination. "I need you… to cum on me, Cass."

That last statement opens the floodgates and her jaw drops open as complete satisfaction rolls over her.

"Oh my god… Oh my god!"

Harry growls again and his motions get faster. And deeper. And unsteady.

"That's it. Fuck. That's…" He thrusts deep once more and halts his movements, moaning as she feels the pulsating inside of her.

They pant together as they both ride their highs, his body falling down onto hers as they both attempt to catch their breaths.

Harry pulls out, removing, tying up, and throwing away the condom in the bedside rubbish bin. He lays back down on the bed, staring at the ceiling, just as she does.

"That was… wow!" He exclaims with a breathy chuckle.

"It really was." She admits, having yet to make eye contact with him since he was inside her. She begins to push herself off the bed, grabbing the bra that had been discarded on the floor nearby.

She feels his warm hand on her hip, causing her to look back over her shoulder.

"Cass, you don't have to go." He whispers. Her heart almost stops, and she finds herself laying back down, curling into his toned, but comforting chest, and she can feel sleep begin to take over her as the pleasurable adrenaline wears off.

•••

Cassidy's eyes blink open and her hangover-induced headache prevents her from initially getting her bearings. She looks to her side as she hears subtle, steady breathing.

"Shit." She whispers to herself. It's not as if she doesn't remember the activities from last night, but her sobering has brought clarity to the situation they find themselves in now.

She had sex with Harry.

It was drunk sex, she gets a small pass for that, but it was sex nonetheless. He's her best friend's brother. He's her personal pest. He's a fucking mega popstar who probably has a girl in every city, waiting for him to call on them whenever he is in town and needs some release.

"Shit. Shit. Shit." She repeats, slowly maneuvering out of his hold and off of the bed. She grabs her clothes and swiftly redresses herself, making sure to not make any noise.

Harry begins to stir, and after she opens the door, she turns back to face his direction, seeing his eyes still shut and his body still sprawled across the bed.

"Bye, H." She whispers.

"Mm." He mumbles, not giving her certainty that he actually heard her words.

She sighs, feeling so many things, incomprehensible at the moment, and closes the door behind her.

[ flashback - Dec 2015 ]

Either she doesn't learn her lesson, or she just likes to make life difficult for herself, because once again Cassidy finds herself sitting next to Gemma. This time it's in the X-Factor studio, waiting to watch One Direction give their final performance.

But then again, she isn't there solely for Harry, and she isn't there to get into anything with him again. She is there to support Gemma, who just happens to be supporting him, as well as the other three members of the group. That's all it is. So she doesn't need to feel weird or bad about being there.

Besides, it's not as if he made any effort to reach out after she left his hotel room that next morning. It was just another drunken one night stand to him.

And to her.

Just a one night stand that needs no further acknowledgement or conversation. Especially since Gemma doesn't know. She doesn't need to know, because it meant nothing and nothing more is coming from it.

She shakes her head. For someone who doesn't care about that one night, she realizes she is dwelling on it, and him, a bit too much.

That's the end of that.

She looks over to her best friend, and rubs her hand along her back to soothe her when she sees the tears trickling down Gemma's face. This is why she's there.

•••

"You are coming with me, CJ!" Gemma exclaims, throwing an outfit to Cassidy, who is sitting on her own hotel bed.

"I'm really inclined to pass on that offer." She replies, standing up and grabbing some sweatpants from her bag.

"It wasn't really an offer. More of a demand."

Cassidy lets out a laugh. Gemma is quite persistent and quite persuasive. But Cassidy is stubborn and won't go down without a fight.

"Gem, I don't want to get drunk and I don't want to be around a bunch of people I don't know."

"You don't have to drink. And you can hang around me!" She grins. "Plus, honestly, everyone loved you at the last after party…"

She felt flattered, and knew that Gemma really wanted her there. With Cassidy having started a new job, and Gemma about to venture off to start some projects of her own, their hangouts together would be cut down in quantity.

She sighs, rolls her eyes, and grabs the outfit that has be thrown in her direction.

"Fine. But m'not gonna like it."

"Don't care." Gemma replies, both smiling at each other.

As long as Cassidy can keep the drinking to a minimum, though she'll have some to keep her stress at bay, she should be able to survive the party. And not wake up regretting the night before.

•••

One drink in and she feels good. She's having fun, dancing, but still able to keep her guard up and be on alert for anyone trying to charm their way into her pants. Or her sleeveless, sweetheart neckline mini dress, in this case.

She's managed to do just that, so far.

As Gemma twirls Cassidy around on the dance floor, a tall figure with long curly hair catches her eye. She finishes her spin under her friend's arm, but her eyes stay fixed on him. Harry's gaze is piercing. Right through her. Enough to make her shudder, despite the room being filled with warmth from all the bodies. The furrow of his brow, the way one arm is crossed over his chest but the other hand is pulling on his bottom lip, the way his frame is pointed directly at her, all causes a knot to form in the pit of her stomach.

He looks mad that she's there.

He can be. He has no reason to be, but he can be. That's none of her concern. He has plenty of girls to choose from to satisfy whatever needs he has tonight. And she can party away however she wants to. It's not just his party and she's allowed to be there, because it's not all about him.

Her eyes flicker to her left and she realizes there is a gorgeous girl dancing next to her. Maybe his look isn't of anger towards her, maybe he's picked his victim… his partner… for the night.

"Hey." Cassidy leans over to the girl. "I think Harry is eyeing you…"

The girl's eyes snap over to where Cassidy discreetly points, not being as subtle.

"Harry Styles? No way…"

"He's staring over here. It's definitely at you."

The girl looks back towards her with a giddy grin, shrugging at the suggestion.

"I don't know…" She replies sheepishly.

"Go over and talk to him. He only looks intimidating. He's really not." She has no idea why she is trying to sell this idea to this random girl, and more so than that, doesn't understand why she's basically lying to her. Although, Harry seems to only put out his true, horrible nature towards her. No one else. So, she supposes, it's technically not a lie.

As the girl turns and makes her way to that side of the room, Harry straightens up but his glare to Cassidy deepens. She has no idea how he could still be mad, she just tried to help him. She sent a gorgeous girl his way, if anything, he should be grateful. But, he can't, and clearly won't, give her any credit. That's the selfish prick he is.

•••

After allowing herself another drink, since she's been feeling fine and controlled so far, she mentions to Gemma that she urgently needs to use the restroom.

She trots out of the banquet room, and down the hallway.

"Cassidy!" She hears shouted from behind her, just as she reaches the door to the ladies room.

She turns around to see Harry hastily making his way to her.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He scowls, pressing one palm firmly on the wall as he reaches her.

"Going to the bathroom, you twit!" She replies.

"That's not what I mean!" His breath heaving as he stares down at her. The need to relieve herself becomes strong and she begins to squirm.

"Look, whatever I did, m'sorry. Okay?" She rolls her eyes, beginning to push the door open slightly. "But I have got to go. So, piss off!"

"Cass-"

"I said piss off!"

She pushes the door further open and lets it slam shut, hopefully right into his face.

She does her business and checks her outfit in the mirror, making sure her hair and makeup are still holding up as well. She stands there for a moment, a little proud of how she handled Harry in the hallway. Maybe it was a little snappy. She's only had two drinks, so it wasn't a drunken tone. They just have nothing to talk about, and he definitely didn't need to come at her like that, for no reason. The familiar frustration resurfaces, and she feels better with the comfortable emotion she usually feels towards him. With that she exits the bathroom.

She almost stops in place when she sees Harry's long, curly hair and tall, broad frame leaning against the wall, his back turned to her. A giggle rings out through the hallway and Cassidy rolls her eyes as she sees a hand grab his bicep.

Flirting in the hallway. Not surprising.

She makes her way past them, not even a glance in their direction, and pushes through the doors leading back into the party.

Her eyes scan the room, looking for friends or even a familiar face she can converse with, but she is stopped when a large palm gently grabs her shoulder from behind, the other sliding onto her waist.

She growls, not only at who it is, but also because of the fact that she is now able to recognize him just by the touch. Well, the touch and the fragrance. She pulls away and twists around.

"What do you want?" She scowls, and sees Harry's intense frown, yet again.

"Why've you been ignoring me all fucking night?"

"What are you talking about?"

He stands up straighter and crosses his arms, causing some sort of anxiousness to course through her.

"You haven't even bothered to say hello!"

"I didn't know I was required to."

"You're not…" His volume dims down slightly, and his tone slightly softens. "But it's polite… it's my party after all."

"It's not just your party, Harry. It's for the band, and the crew." She scoffs, pinching the bridge of her nose. "And you've been getting enough attention. I don't understand why you're hung up on not getting mine."

He leans his back against the nearby wall, arms still crossed and gaze still piercing.

"That's the other thing. What the fuck was that? Why'd you send some random girl over to, like, flirt with me?"

His question completely throws her off and she's unsure if she heard him correctly. There's no way he can be upset about that. He can't be upset that a girl went to do the one thing he himself seems to be so good at, besides singing.

"What the-... You were looking at her! I just encouraged her over there."

"I wasn't-" He sighs, running one hand through his hair, shaking his locks to reset their style. She remembers how they felt within her grasp, and takes a subtle step back to compose herself. He seems to notice, though, as he takes a bigger step towards her. "Whatever. I don't need your help, yeah?"

Of course. His ego. It was a blow to his ego that she thought he needed some assistance to get someone's attention and hook up with them.

"Trust me, Harry, I could care less what you do and who you do it with."

"Trust me, Cassidy, I know."

For the second time, his comment throws her off completely, but she doesn't have time to respond as.he brushes past her and heads back into the crowds of people.

Determination to not let him ruin her night bubbles up and she makes her way back to the dance floor, where she finds her friends.

"You alright, CJ? Do you wanna go?" Gemma asks.

Cassidy happens to catch Harry's glance, causing them both to frown in the other's direction, especially when she sees Harry turn back towards the girl he was supposedly upset was encouraged to go to him. She sees him whisper something in the girl's ear, receiving a nod, and both beginning to make their way to the door.

She clenches her jaw. What a prick, to argue with her about that girl, when he is doing the thing that Cassidy had assumed he wanted to do. At least now she doesn't have to be on edge, now that he has gone.

"CJ? Hello?" She hears. "Me and Michal are gonna head to our room. Are you staying?"

"Oh, umm, yeah I actually wanna stay." She brings her gaze back to Gemma, being met with a wide-eyed expression from her best friend. Cassidy just shrugs. "I'm having fun."

"Wow!" Gemma chuckles. "Okay! Well, I'll see you tomorrow then. Have fun…"

"You too…" She replies, kissing Gemma on the cheek and sending her on her way.

She continues to stick by Lottie and Lou, but after just a few more songs, they also state that they are calling it a night.

With no one else to hang out with, Cassidy quickly decides to do the same. She walks over to the bar, intending to pull out some cash that she had previously stored in her strapless bra, but she realizes she cannot feel any there.

"Need help finding something?" She hears, a chuckle following, and she sees Harry arrive at her side.

Her entire body tenses. Why can't he just leave her alone? Why does he have to bother her?

"Piss off." She sighs, dropping her head in embarrassment at her lack of tip. "I thought… I had money."

"Oh." He replies, in a surprisingly compassionate and gentle tone. "Here."

He pulls out his wallet and hands a few notes to the bartender.

"I don't need your help."

"Clearly…" He replies, rolling his eyes.

She growls, glaring into his green eyes, remembering the way they had looked so lustful at the last after party she attended.

"Thank you." She quietly states between her teeth.

He chuckles and she turns away, taking a few steps before she feels her body being guided to a dark corner of the room.

Harry turns her around to face him, as she backs up to the wall. It was an attempt to get some distance, which she immediately realizes is a failure as he steps closer.

"You're infuriating, you know that?"

"Me?" She gasps at the audacity, and irony, of him calling her that. "You're joking!"

He keeps silent, keeping his gaze locked on her, as if she'd disappear once he moved it.

"What are you doing here?" She asks in a whisper, her breath beginning to falter at keeping steady. "I thought… I thought you left with that girl."

A smirk appeared, showcasing his devilish dimple, the one every girl seems to swoon over.

"Did you miss me?"

"Get over yourself." She replies. He scoots closer, his palms pushing against the wall on either side of her head, and her breath hitches. "Whatever game you're trying to play, I don't want to participate."

"No game." He bites his lower lip, his eyes flickering down for a moment before meeting hers again. "But I think you do want to participate."

She looks down to where his eyes drop again, taking in the sight of her own hands grasping his half-buttoned shirt. It was unintentional. She pushes against his chest, only moving him back an inch, if that, and she wraps her arms across her chest.

"Leave me alone. Go back to your girl."

"Why are you so insistent that I be with her?"

"You don't want to be? 'Cause you left with her..."

"She was wasted so I walked her to the elevator." He utters, his warm breath heating her cheeks. "She wanted more, thanks to you I guess, but I didn't, so I sent a security guy with-"

"I'm surprised you actually turned someone down!"

"You'd know all about that, wouldn't you." He whispers, leaving Cassidy a little unsure if she was meant to hear the statement.

Her heart races as one palm makes its way to her hip, and his eyes flicker down to her lips.

With all he's done to pester her throughout the years, this frustrates her the most. Not just that he's doing it, but that she seems to be caving in to it.

"What are you doing, Harry?" She utters, unable to produce much volume, and also not wanting to grab attention from anyone else.

"Whatever you want me to do." He smirks, his hand slowly moving over her hip and to her thigh, where he begins to play with the hem of her mini dress. "Stop me if you don't."

She exhales a shaky breath, all heat and sensation rushing to her core. Her hands grip his biceps, feeling the muscles contract under her touch. She's definitely caving to it.

His fingers slide under her dress, just enough to grasp onto her upper thigh and begin playing with the hem of her panties, running his fingers along the fabric. She bites her lower lip and moves her hands up to his shoulders, weaving her fingers into his hair. He smirks, pushing her panties aside, and he glides two fingers along her folds, drawing a hiss from her lips.

"Harry…" She whines, squirming at the need for more.

"Not yet. Not here." He whispers, removing his fingers from under her dress and bringing them to his lips, sucking on them slowly. She swallows to clear the lump in her throat in an attempt to compose herself.

"Wanna leave?" He asks, exactly like at the last after party, a sultry deepness to his tone.

And just like the last time, she finds herself nodding.

•••

"I've been wanting to get this dress off you all night." Harry mumbles, sliding his hands up her thighs as she straddles him on the couch in his hotel suite.

"All night?"

Her question is met with his lips on her collarbone, and her dress being pushed over her hips to her waist. She grabs the hem and pulls it off the rest of the way, smirking at the way Harry's eyes widen with desire as he looks over her body.

"Fucking beautiful." He pants out, subtly bucking his hips up, and she gasps at the feeling of how hard he is under her. She reaches down and unbuttons his pants, propping herself up as he slides them down his legs.

She stands up, removing her own panties, and he quickly plucks a small square package out of the wallet in his jean pocket. She unclasps her bra and watches as he pulls down his briefs, releasing his big, thick cock from its confines.

His gaze snaps up to her, his lips pulled inward.

"Are you sure?" He questions quietly, almost as if he's afraid her answer has changed. Of course he wouldn't be used to rejection, but she's not exactly in the mood to be the first one to do it. They've come this far, she isn't really considering turning back now.

She grabs the condom packet and rips it open between her teeth, stroking the latex down his length before returning to her spot on his lap.

Her lips return to his neck, his hands returning to her waist, and she guides herself down slowly onto his cock.

"Oh my god." She whispers into his shoulder, slowing down even more to adjust to how much he's already stretching her out.

They both let out a breath once he's fully inside of her.

"Bloody hell, Cass. You feel so good." He mumbles, throwing his head back against the couch as she begins to grind. "So… fucking good."

She pulls back to watch his face melt with pleasure, her hands traveling through his hair with a tight grip, extracting a deep moan from his chest. He brings one palm up to the back of her head and brings her closer, pressing his lips to hers. His tongue pushes between them, and swirls with hers in parallel motions.

The moans leaving her lips are reciprocated by his, along with some pushing up of his hips, deepening himself inside of her.

"Harry… h-hard."

"What?"

"I want you to… to fuck me… hard." She almost whines. If she were in any other mindset, she might think she was pathetic, but all she can focus on at this moment is just how good she's feeling. How good Harry is making her feel, and how she just wants more.

"Fuck. Okay." He moans out. "I'll do anything… anything you want, Cass."

He thrusts up into her more vigorously, holding her down by her hips, getting a lot deeper than he'd been before.

"Oh god. Yes. Harry that's-" She moans out. "That's it."

"Fuck, I love that… you moaning my name."

"Harry, I'm… I'm…"

"Show me." He states against her skin. "Come on, Cass. Show me how good I'm making you feel!"

His way with words is impeccable, because his statement, along with him moaning her name, sends her over the edge. The pleasure of her orgasm ripples through her entire body, feeling better than any she's had before.

"Harry! Oh god!"

He thrusts up even harder and faster, grunting with every motion as he stares down to where their bodies meet.

As she catches her breath, she kisses along his shoulder, up his neck, and nibbles at his earlobe. She feels him squeeze her hips tighter and smiles as she feels his body tense.

"Fuck! Cassidy!" He exclaims, slamming into her one more time before she feels him throbbing inside of her.

His head drops backwards to the couch, and her face nuzzles into his neck, as they both come down from their high. Panting is the only sound left in the now quiet room.

"Wanna stay the night again?" Harry chuckles, and Cassidy is suddenly brought back to the realization that she just had sex, for a second time, with Harry. Her biggest annoyance, Harry. Gemma's brother, Harry. A member of One Direction, Harry Styles.

She feels his hands gently rubbing up and down her arms, snapping her back to the present, just enough for her to realize that her breathing has become shallow again.

Because sitting on top of Harry, with his cock still inside her, after amazing sex, is the perfect time for an anxiety attack.

"Hey… Cass…" He whispers, taking her chin with one hand and directing her to look at him. "Y'alright?"

A deep frown forms on his face as his eyes flicker all over hers. She's unsure if she's ever seen that expression on him before. It's always been one of mischief, because that's who he is. Not this.

She feels so stupid. And embarrassed. She isn't better than any other girl that has or will drop their pants at the sight of his seductive smirk, or his entrancing gaze, or his overwhelmingly thick charm. In fact, she's worse, because she actually knows better. She knows him, how he teases and tortures her, how his arrogance alone could be the fifth member of One Direction now. She knows how he figures he can win over any girl he wants, and that he actually does most of the time. She knows better than to be that girl. Except, she's not.

"CJ!" She is pulled out of her thoughts by the nickname. He's never called her that before. Only the closest people in her life ever use it- her own mum, Gemma, and Anne. Never once has Harry. Because they've never been that close. But now that he's been inside of her, he thinks he knows her that well?

"Cassidy… look at me." His finger moves her face again, finally grabbing her full attention, even though it's through blurred vision from the sudden lightheadedness. "Breathe with me, yeah? Inhale for ten. Then exhale for ten."

He may think he knows her now but she definitely doesn't feel like she knows him anymore. Concerned? Caring? It's not how she knows him, but she acknowledges it's how she needs him right now, so she breathes with him.

"... and exhale for ten." He utters, his eyes still fixed on hers as they breathe out together, one hand on her back and one tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Better?"

She gives a quick nod before abruptly standing up, causing them both to hiss at the sensitive motion. Her breath may be steady but her thoughts are not. Everything feels so complicated and uncertain. She hates not knowing what's going on, she hates feeling out of control. She's had enough of that in her life already.

She gathers her clothes and redresses quickly, avoiding any eye contact as Harry does the same, almost in a panic himself.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asks quietly, arriving at her side as she attempts to move to the door.

"Umm… yeah." She manages. "I'm just gonna go."

"You don't have to." He replies, reaching out and gently grabbing the hand that's not holding the door handle. "Please stay."

"I don't think-"

"I'd…" He runs his free hand through his hair, and displays another expression she has never seen before. If she could clear her head, she might be able to decipher whether it actually is what it looks like. Because it looks timid, and almost insecure. "I'd feel better if you stayed. Just so I know you're okay."

"I'm fine Harry." She replies, flickering her gaze up for a moment in an attempt to persuade him.

"I'm sorry if I did something wrong…"

If her brain wasn't swirling enough, his sudden change in demeanor is not helping in the least.

"No. I just… I think it's better if… I just go." She mumbles. He softly squeezes the hand in his hold and leans down to place a kiss on her cheek, sending more sparks throughout her body and more thoughts to swirl around her head. She opens the door and walks out, turning around before it comes to a close, and being met with a solemn expression. "Goodnight, Harry."

•••

A knock on the door late at night would've normally woken her up, but tonight she has had no sleep. After leaving Harry's room, and arriving at her own, she almost wished she were with him again as she felt another anxiety attack threaten to appear.

A shower and change of clothes helped to calm her, but not calm her enough, so she was able to hop right out of bed when she heard a subtle, rhythmic noise on the hotel door.

She cautiously cracks it open, considering the time of night. Or morning at this point.

A figure, adorned with a hoodie and shorts, leans with one hand against the doorframe. He lifts his head slowly, tired eyes clearly visible even through her own sleepy vision.

"I couldn't sleep." Harry mumbles. "M'sorry. I needed to know you were okay."

Her heart flutters, even with all the knowledge she has of how he normally is, the concern was too flattering to ignore. She reaches for his hand and walks backwards, pulling him inside her room. The door closes behind them and she walks him to her bed, lifting the covers so they can both slide in. It's not the first time they've slept in the same room. Every time she stayed the night for a sleepover with Gemma, he had found a way and a reason to sneak down there. Most of the time, it was to execute a practical joke. But there were a few times they had awoken to him sleeping on the couch across from them in the living room.

Plus, she stayed with him the last time they had sex.

As they both settle in, she feels a warm arm rest across her waist, and she scoots back to nestle into his frame. For the first time that night, since getting back to her room, she felt some peace, as well as her eyes becoming heavy with sleep.

•••

Cassidy blinks awake as the room becomes a shade brighter, and looks over to find an empty spot next to her. She shouldn't be surprised, and she isn't, but that doesn't stop a mild amount of disappointment from creeping in.

That is until she registers the shower turning off. Harry is still there? Harry is still there.

The bathroom door opens and she props herself up to see his tall, toned, and tattooed body half wrapped in a towel, with his hair styled up in a bun.

"Morning." He states with a smirk, probably noticing the way her eyes travel up and down his frame. "Sleep well?"

The shock in her system prevents words from forming, but still functions well enough to respond with a nod.

"Good."

"W-what are you-"

"I ordered breakfast. My shout, don't worry. Hopefully you still like crepes."

Her brain is still having a hard time processing the fact that he didn't just leave. Not only has he stayed and ordered breakfast, but he ordered something she used to eat with his family years ago, before his journey to fame even began.

"Yeah, I do. Thanks."

"No problem." He replies, walking over to the bag he brought the night before, and rifling through before pulling out some sweats and a shirt.

"Harry… what are you still doing here?"

He turns around to face her, a clear frown on his face, as if offended by her question. It shouldn't be unreasonable for her to wonder. He's sure to have had plenty of one night stands before, and usually those don't include breakfast the next morning.

"I couldn't just leave you. That'd be rude."

Cassidy's head drops with a bit of guilt for questioning him, though she still does feel a little justified considering his reputation. But the fact that he is still standing in her room causes another flutter and she pushes away her assumptions.

She opens her mouth, not exactly sure what she wants to say, but is interrupted by a knock on the door. She sits up on the bed, bringing her knees to her chest, as Harry opens the door and wheels in a food cart.

"I know you don't have a proper table…" He states, wheeling the cart to the edge of the bed and patting the mattress for her to scoot up there. "But I figured this might work."

She bites her bottom lip, unintentionally, and moves to sit next to him. He removes the lids from the plates and takes a bow.

"Bonjour!" He exclaims, in his best attempt at a fake French accent. Cassidy lets out a giggle, thankful she didn't already have a bite of food in her mouth.

"I think you mean… bon appetit!"

"That's what I said." He smirks, taking a seat next to her on the bed. "Bon appetit."

•••

The TV becomes background noise throughout their breakfast. Much to Cassidy's surprise, Harry quickly initiated conversation, and it was easy to talk to him. Even more to her surprise, she liked it. They talked about many of the things she and Gemma have talked about over the years. They talked like friends.

"Nope, never been to New York. I've never even been further than London!"

"Really?"

"My parents… don't exactly travel. Only my dad, for work." She shakes her head, dropping it a little before covering up her sadness with a smile. "Maybe one day I'll get there."

"You've already got the look." He chuckles, his gaze dropping to her lips.

"What?"

"You've got a little…" He brushes his finger under his nose, but she shakes her head, not understanding. He brings his thumb up to her cupid's bow, gently rubbing it along her skin, and causing a spark to run over her skin. "Got a little white powder under your nose."

"Oh my god!" She lets out in a breathy laugh, her lungs still regaining their function after the surprise of his gesture. She stands to reach across the food cart for a napkin, but stops when she feels his hand wrapping around hers.

She faces him and gazes into his gentle green eyes. She's never seen the speckles of different shades laced throughout them before. He pulls her close, her body between his legs, and brings his palm up to run his thumb against her cheek. He gathers up the remaining sugar and brings his thumb to his mouth, sticking out his tongue to slowly lick it off.

"You forgot a bit." He whispers. Everything he has just done makes her heated and dizzy. She bites her lower lip, caving again. She doesn't want to admit it, but she can understand how girls fall for him so easily. Apparently, she's no exception, and she's not about to start dissecting all of that right now. No, right now she wants to cave even more.

Her hands come up to cup his own cheeks, and she moves forward, leaning down and stopping in front of his lips.

"You're gonna pay for that." She whispers back, pressing their lips together the most minimal amount before pulling back.

Harry runs his tongue along the inside of his cheek, and grabs her hips to pull her in even closer. He lets out a low growl, sending shivers down her spine and the building heat to rush to her core.

His hands slowly glide up to her waist, and as he begins to tug her onto his lap, a knock sounds at the door with a loud statement of his name.

"For fucks sake." He grumbles, letting out a heavy exhale through his nose. He squeezes her waist, having her step back so he can stand up. His breath hits her face and eyes flicker to her lips. Then another knock.

"Alright!" He shouts towards the door, turning back to her with a frown on his face. Not anger, but disappointment. "I'll, umm, see you at Christmas, yeah?"

She smiles. Every Christmas morning is spent at her house, but the afternoon and evenings are spent at the Styles household. It's always where she would rather to be, and this year is no different. She tries not to entertain the thought that it might be even more this year.

"Would never miss it." She replies, matching the sudden grin that appears on his face.

[ present - Dec 2019 ]

So, she wasn't stupid once, she was stupid twice. She let her guard down, she pushed aside every single moment that he had frustrated or pestered her during the many years they have known each other, and she let her body make all the decisions.

She hears the cheers from the crowd and tilts her head down from the upper level where she stands, to view the stage, seeing Harry walk out and give a little wave before grabbing his guitar.

Seeing him, after all this time, causes a storm of emotions so strong that it almost causes her to stumble. His hair is different, and his clothing style is different, but it is still Harry. The smug, self-centered Harry that flustered and frustrated her more than anyone else. The Harry that charmed his way into bed with her. Twice. But worst of all, due to the stupidest and most dangerous thing she did with him, he is the Harry that she allowed to charm his way into her heart too. Which means, he is also the Harry who left her feeling like a fool.

[ flashback - Dec 2015 ]

Christmas morning always comes with mixed emotions. The usual ones coming from her own family- from some nice quiet time with her mum in the morning to her father's obnoxious behavior after a few splashes of whiskey are added to his coffee. Those are normal, and unfortunately, expected.

The other ones, the new ones, are coming from the anticipation of what the afternoon with the Styles will look like. She and Harry haven't talked since he left that morning from her hotel room. Eleven days, but she won't admit she has been counting.

"Where the hell you goin?" Cassidy's dad asks, words already a little slurred. She rolls her eyes as her back is turned to him, under the disguise of simply grabbing her coat from the rack near the front door.

"To the Styles house."

"They seem like good people."

Taken back by his complimentary comment, she looks over to her dad. "Yeah. They are."

"M'surprised they let you over then. Better than you being here 'nnoying me though…"

There it is. His true nature. The reason she hates being at home and finds refuge at her best friend's house. That place never fails her.

She simply replies with a scoff as she exits the door, not even bothered by the sharp cold that hits her immediately. And thankfully, she's only walking a block away.

•••

"Crashing our Christmas again?" Harry asks as she walks into the kitchen of the Styles home. She rolls her eyes at the typical Harry statement. She can't tell if she is relieved at the normalcy or a bit put off by everything being brushed off.

"Yeah, well, you're never home, so someone has to fill that 'second child' spot." She quips back, noticing a subtle smirk appear on his face as she walks closer to grab a glass of water.

She takes a sip, and sees Harry scanning the room, before leaning down to her ear. His warm breath on her skin causes her stomach to tighten from nervousness.

"Maybe there's another spot I can fill."

Cassidy throws her hand over her mouth to stop spitting everything out across the kitchen counter, trying to also hold back a cough from the shock of such a tantilizating statement.

"Piss off, Harry."

"Aww, come on, it's the season of giving!" He chuckles, low and deep, teasing and mischievous.

"Give it to someone else." She instantly replies, unintentionally out of her instinct to squabble with him. Regret covers her as his brow furrows and he stands up straighter, all flirtatious demeanor having immediately disappeared. "Sorry, I-"

"I was only teasing, Cass. Like usual." He brushes past her and heads to the living room, where everyone else is gathered.

That response really wasn't intentional. It was how she was used to acting around him. Well, before the nights spent together at the after parties. She isn't entirely sure what her plan was when she came over, or what exactly her feelings are, but if things have gone back to normal for him, then that's where it ends. Whether she wants it that way or not.

She sighs and joins the rest of the group, giving Anne and Robin hugs before taking the only empty spot to sit. Of course, it's right next to Harry, and with the way these things usually go, that's where she'll be for most of the night.

•••

After a few rounds of playing 'Family Feud: Home Edition', which Cassidy, Harry, and Robin won, it's time for the wonderful feast Anne has prepared.

That's what Robin calls it at least. In reality, it's a few homemade pizzas, but she'd consider anything a luxury while she's there. Plus, they really are delicious.

"Are you doing anything extravagant for New Year's Eve?" She asks Anne.

"Actually, yes, we've been invited to go along with Harry on a yacht to… somewhere tropical…" She replies, lifting her shoulders and smiling with excitement.

"St. Barts." Harry adds with a mumble, his eyes and fingers suddenly infatuated with the toppings on his pizza.

"That sounds lovely! Who invited you?"

"Kris Jenner. And… Kendall will be there too, right Harry?" Anne asks.

She can just make out Harry's quick glance over in her direction, out of the corner of her own eye.

"Yeah." He replies.

Her chest begins to tighten a little. She knows who Kendall is, of course. She's beautiful, and famous, and is rumoured to have been dating Harry at one point. She isn't sure if that's totally accurate, but either way, she knows their families are close.

"Well… it sounds fun." She replies, giving her best attempt at a genuine smile as Harry glances more obviously towards her.

"Speaking of New Year's Eve, CJ…" Gemma states, catching the attention of the both of them. "Michal and I aren't going on that trip. We're thinking of going to a big bash with some other friends. Want to come?"

"Oh, umm… I was kind of planning to just bunker down at home, to be honest."

She notices a small smile appear on Harry's face, as if he's pleased she won't be mingling with others. As if he has the right to feel that way. There's the arrogance she's used to.

"You know… that guy you met… Nathan? I guess he's been asking about you." Michal states, and she could swear she hears Harry groan.

"What? Really?"

"Yeah. Heard it through a friend of a friend. And he's going to be there…" Michal replies, wiggling his eyebrows in a suggestive manner.

"Just come with us. At the very least, you can hang out with us and won't be home alone at your house."

Gemma does make a good point. Cassidy's parents usually go out with their own friends, and of course her dad comes home extremely drunk. She could avoid those next few hours that he fumbles around the house yelling, and get home once he's asleep.

"Okay, okay. I'll go." She agrees.

Harry chuckles quietly and shakes his head, getting up from his spot to head to the kitchen. He's back to his normal, annoying self.

Everyone begins to chat among themselves, so Cassidy takes the pause in activities to use the restroom.

Before the door is closed completely, it stops, and is pulled back open for her to see Harry standing on the other side.

"What's your problem with me using the fucking toilet?" She asks, frustratedly.

He exhales a strong breath from his nose, his expression stern, causing her nerves to peek. She's astonished that her new reaction to him is so intensely physical.

His eyes flicker down to her lips, letting out another strong exhale, and sending a heat to her cheeks. He leans closer and she closes her eyes, not even thinking before preparing herself for a kiss.

"Oh god, is there a line for the toilet?" She hears from the hallway, and they both look over to see Gemma there with her hands on her hips. "I'll use the one upstairs!"

She walks away and Harry looks back at Cassidy.

"I have to use the toilet." She whispers, dropping her gaze to the ground.

He doesn't respond. Simply scoffs, stands up straighter, and walks off.

After doing her business, she opens the door back up, partially expecting Harry to be there waiting to continue their conversation. If it could be called that. But he wasn't there. She walks to the living to rejoin the group and sees Harry back in his spot on the couch, pressed up against the armrest he's been next to.

She sits down again, turning towards the television, as their next tradition begins. Watching 'Love Actually'.

An actual shiver runs over her skin and she looks around for an extra blanket, only to find that there are none left. She sighs softly, but looks to her side as she hears Harry clear his throat. She meets his gaze, now much more gentle, and he motions for her to share his. It's big enough to stretch across both of their laps, so she grabs the half that he offers and whispers a 'thank you' to him.

She turns back to the movie and feels a tug on the fabric. She looks back to Harry and notices him pulling the blanket gently back towards himself with a smile. Of course he wants it back. Playing a practical joke. Selfish prick. She frowns and begins to hand it over, but he shakes his head.

"Scoot over a bit if you need to." He whispers. She fails to hold back from biting her lower lip, and is unable to prevent the blush rushing to cover her face. She moves the minimal amount to stay undetected by others, and he readjusts the blanket to fully cover them both.

Just as she settles in, Harry scoots even further towards the armrest, putting the distance she had just removed back between them, but still allowing her some extra covering on her lap.

This guy is annoying and confusing and she hates it. At least everything else is comfortable. She's always felt that way there.

•••

The first thing Cassidy notices is the loud noises of laughter filling the room. The second, after multiple blinks of her eyelids, is an episode of Friends playing across from her. And then she senses a dark, sultry fragrance close by.

She turns her head to see Harry, his eyes fixated on the show, half of a smile across his face, and his green eyes glimmering from the reflection off of the television.

She's curled up into his chest, his arm is resting behind her, and his fingers are gently stroking her shoulder. Shocking herself, she realizes she likes it. Really likes it. And even debates pretending that she is still asleep so that she can enjoy it even more, even longer.

"You're staring." He mutters, eyes still directed away from her. Her breath leaves her body, as if completely knocked out of her. She doesn't even know how long she has been looking at him, not that she necessarily regrets it, but now that she is caught, she feels embarrassed. And vulnerable.

"Because you have pizza sauce on your face."

He doesn't.

"Well…" He finally turns to her, eyes regaining the lustful undertone that she's seen a few times before. "Are you gonna get it off?"

If it was actually there, yes. Yes, she would.

"You can pick how you do it…" He adds, his famous dimple sinking in deeply with the extreme smirk he's displaying.

"Do it yourself."

"That's not as much fun." His tongue runs along the inside of his mouth, and she realizes his fingers are still grazing her skin, maybe with a little more pressure now.

"You're obnoxious."

"Maybe. But you didn't seem to mind when you were cuddling me."

"I was asleep."

"You were playing with my hair." He licks his lips and his eyes quickly dart down to hers momentarily.

"Well…" She takes a deep breath. "I'll admit, just this once, that you do have good hair…"

He smirks, quickly peering down to her lips again, and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

She tries to gulp down the lump in her throat, becoming less and less able to compose herself and keep her guard up around him. How did she stand her ground for so long, and why is it all of a sudden crumbling so easily, out of her control?

He suddenly straightens up, dropping his hand and pulling back his arm. She doesn't have to wait long to discover why, as she hears footsteps coming from the other room. She immediately scoots back from him and shoots her head towards the sound, seeing her best friend walk in from around the corner.

"Hey Sleeping Beauty!" She chuckles, looking over in Cassidy's direction, hopefully not seeing her fidgeting and accumulating a small amount of sweat on her forehead. "Are you gonna stay the night?"

"Oh. I… umm…" She quickly looks over to Harry, an unreadable expression across his face. It's not exactly helpful.

"You can take my room… if you want…" He suggests, letting her feel some relief from not having an answer. And then she feels flustered, like she has plenty of times with him, especially recently. Relief, flustered, and then very aware that Gemma is standing in the kitchen waiting for an answer.

"Thank you." She meets Gemma's mildly confused and curious gaze, bringing Cassidy back to the reality of what this situation is.

Gemma is her best friend, and Harry's sister. And Harry isn't just Harry. He is Harry Styles of One Direction. He has a busy and extravagant life. He most likely, and unfortunately, has girls across the globe. He is beautiful, and desirable. And she is just Cassidy. The girl he grew up with, who was always hanging around his house. The girl he bugged and pestered constantly. The girl he played mind games with by pretending to flirt with her, just to be annoying. And probably, also, just his hometown hookup.

"But… I think I should get home."

"Okay. I'll talk to you tomorrow, and give you more details about that party."

For the second time since she's been there, Harry groans over the subject of her attending that New Year's Eve party.

Gemma walks out and Cassidy turns back to Harry. His gaze has dropped and his expression has turned down along with it.

"You sure you don't wanna stay?" He mutters, a sincere look in his eyes.

"I… yeah, I don't want my mum to worry." She sighs. She'll call it self-preservation, running home right now. Ironically, that's the one place she usually runs from.

"At least let me walk you back."

She nods, sitting there a few seconds longer to gaze at him, before getting up from the couch and gathering her belongings.

Harry helps her put on her coat, and does the same, then ushers her outside into the cold. This time, for Cassidy, the bite of the air isn't a relief like it was when she exited her own home.

"So… umm…" Harry starts as the begin to walk, his arms across his chest to keep himself warm, her own body doing the same thing. "You're, umm, working for POPSUGAR now, right?"

"Yeah. Junior writer." She simply replies. It's not exactly the biggest thing to brag about. Especially not to him. Plus, Gemma was a reference, so she's sure that helped her get the job.

"Is it local?" He asks quietly, turning to make eye contact.

"Umm… yeah. Well, I mean, I go to London a few times a month for meetings, but I mostly write from home."

She notices him pull his lips inward, seemingly to hide a smile, which he is failing at.

"That's awesome." He clears his throat. "I'll be 'round here for a bit, and a friend is planning a birthday party for me next month. Maybe… we can hang out sometime?"

Her heart skips a beat and her thoughts begin to race. This is so confusing, he is so confusing. She honestly never thought she'd be in this situation. She actually told herself she never would be. It's Harry, for crying out loud. But here she is, feeling a small flutter of butterflies in her stomach at his suggestion of seeing her again. But it's also complicated. Again, it's Harry. Enough said.

"Umm… maybe." That's about as good of an answer as she can give at the moment.

They reach the front door of her parent's house, and she turns her body to face his, her eyes only flickering up for a few seconds to catch a couple glimpses of him.

"Hm." He responds, picking at his lower lip. "Was kind of hoping for more than a maybe."

"I just don't know."

"Is it because of your New Year's Eve plans?"

"What? No. What does that have to do with anything?"

"Well, because you're going on a date."

"It's not a date. It's just a party. And why do you care? You're going on vacation with a supermodel…" Frustration begins to build.

"Our families are just spending time together. Plus, those plans were made before we-"

He points to her but goes silent, instantly dropping his hand. Her anxiety peaks and her eyes go wide. Would he not have gone if it wasn't already scheduled? Because of her? No. First of all, choosing her over Kendall fucking Jenner is a ridiculous thought. And besides, two hookups doesn't mean he's suddenly interested in her, at least not in any capacity that has more significance than sex. And if it does, it's probably not possible to indulge in. Gemma would probably flip! It would be too weird and she couldn't do that to her best friend. It keeps coming back to all of that. So as much as she may want to even entertain the idea, it's probably not a good one.

Even if she does want it to be more, he is Harry Styles. And that comes with so many implications and complications on its own. For fucks sake, she doesn't even know how he feels about her.

"Tell me why you don't want to." He interrupts her thoughts, catching her so off guard that she doesn't have a good enough answer for him.

"I don't know… I don't know what you want from me…"

"I just want to hang out!"

"Why?"

"Really? Are you-... Bloody hell, this is exhausting! Nevermind!" He pinches the bridge of his nose, shaking his head. His eyes snap up to hers and she's met with a deep, intense frown. "Have fun at the fucking party, Cass."

She turns away and grabs the door handle. A sigh comes from behind her so she swivels back around. Her own frown is met by his. "And have fun on your fucking vacation."

[ flashback - Jan 2016 ]

Sitting at the large table, waiting for the office meeting to start, someone takes the seat next to Cassidy with a beaming smile.

"What's going on?" She chuckles, looking down at the papers in her coworker Roxie's hands.

"I'm buzzing! I got assigned an amazing story to cover!" She exclaims, practically bouncing in her chair. "You're friends with Harry Styles, right?"

Her heart stops. Or is it racing? She's not even able to fully comprehend her reaction, because all she can focus on is what Roxie could possibly have written about.

"Sort of. Sure… why?"

The article is placed on the table, right in front of her. She tries to quickly skim it over, attempting to gather the important information, but her vision quickly becomes blurry. She doesn't need to read the entire article. The headline tells her everything she needs to know.

HARRY STYLES AND KENDALL JENNER GET COZY ON A YACHT

Series Masterlist

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