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crystal-crax · 3 months

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A RANT

THE NEON LEON

(II) Why he needs to fail at being a leader

Inspired by Skulltrot's Leo analysis on Youtube (WATCH IT, IT'S SO GOOD, I LOVE IT)

What? Crystal! You're contradicting yourself-

Shhhh! This is poetry, listen to me

One of the reasons i've seen people complain about rise leo, is his overall "confidence".

They find him annoying or reduce him to "the funny guy", the one that messes everything up in the movie and deus ex machina's his way to the power of friendship.

But honestly, i think this is so far from the truth; Leo is integral to the concept and culmination of the rise turtles, he cements the message this version of the turtles has been trying to explain from the beginning.

You can't do everything alone; trust those who love you, and love those who you trust.

But honestly, i think a lot of people forget that we've all probably felt like him before.

Leo is quite a complicated character to understand easily (mostly bc the rise series got horribly cut down and omg i'm still hurting), because an important part of his character is he will literally never be honest about what he's feeling. The only thing he talks about? How he knows (bc he doesn't just think it, he's so sure about it) nobody trusts him or thinks he's capable of holding his own weight.

He comes off as uninterested and goofy because he so desesperately clings to that portrayal of himself because he needs to trick both others and his own mind that he's fine.

He doesn't think he's enough, he believes the team would be perfectly fine without him. He thinks he needs to prove he can do something so he can be valuable to the team.

And i think it's amazing

"Rise of the TMNT", the title already gives away the purpose of their different personalities and coping mechanisms on this version of the story. We're not meant to see an structured team of properly trained ninjas, we're here for the ride, we are walking alongside them as the team gets in line and learn how to be heroes.

Sure the other versions of the turtles had their own character arcs, you don't need to see something from the instant beginning to know the characters are growing, but rise has always felt more of a love letter to the turtle family itself. A complete exploration of an alternate universe where the mad dogz got to somewhat live as teenagers before earning the mantle as protectors of the world (and new york lol).

We're familiar with Leonardo's story in evey tmnt version, he's the leader. He's in charge of protecting the city and his family.

But the problem is always there, he fears he won't be enough, that he will fail to be the leader the world asks him to be. This is also something we see in rise leo but it's more...fresh? It feels naturally younger.

Were you never nagged about not taking things seriously when you were younger? Were you never yelled at for messing things up? Didn't you ever feel as if you had to prove to others that you were more they perceived you to be?

As someone that battles their own inferiority complex, leo feels...so easy to relate to.

He didn't ask for the responsability, and he kind of doesn't want it, but he learns to bear it properly.

He fails to be the good leader they expect him to be (i also have the theory he self-sabotages himself a lot?) but he learns to be more than what they expect.

To quote myself from my last post (yes i loved typing that) "a leader is not the one that orders, but the one that motivates and supports you". He learns how being a leader is not imposing or bearing every problem and responsability alone, but to motivate your team and guide them to never loose hope.

He uses everything he already knows about himself and his team to be better and guide them to a new version of the ninja turtle gang, one where family and trust is far more important than anything else (and it feels good to know we won't have the typical raph vs leo fight for leadership in the future- i mean there was a fight BUT IT WASN'T ABOUT THAT)

Someone stop me i might just start a tmnt rant loop of my own making and i'm enjoying it😭

#tmnt 2018 #tmnt rant #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt #rotmnt #rise leo #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #thanks for coming to my ted talk

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misteria247 · 1 year

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It's November 1st, Halloween's officially over and it's on the day after Halloween that the lair is suddenly terrorized by Christmas songs.

03 Mikey and 07 Mikey being the ringleaders behind this one. These little trouble makers dig through 03 Mikey's playlist, looking for one song in particular. Once it's found the duo set things up waiting for midnight exactly before they put it into action. Everyone's still up but are getting ready to call it a night when suddenly they hear it.

"I don't want a lot for Christmas, there's just one little thing I need-"

03 Leo, 03 Donnie, 03 Raph, 07 Leo, 07 Raph and 07 Donnie immediately know who's behind this because they all just stiffen up with the looks of Oh hell no. 12 Leo who's helping Rise Donnie with something just seems to pause before this dead inside look comes across his face and he goes:

"One day can't we just wait one day before we go into Christmas mode??? Halloween literally just ended for fuck sake-"

And Rise Donnie is literally fighting with himself on whether he should sing along or go find the two responsible for this because the Dolly Parton incident is still fresh in his mind and he'll never forget nor forgive. 12 Mikey and Rise Leo on the other hand look like they're gonna explode with stupid giddiness because yes it's that time of year again! Bayverse Mikey is snickering at all this while Bayverse Leo is rubbing his temples to ease his oncoming headache and Bayverse Raph and Bayverse Donnie are instantly having their hackles raised literally shouting out:

"IT'S NOVEMBER 1ST YOU SICKOS-"

12 Donnie grits his teeth because he's just gotten over the Dolly Parton thing but God's seriously testing him right now, while 12 Raph and Rise Raph are just going into this with a dead like acceptance because 12 Mikey and Rise Leo and Rise Mikey do this kind of thing every damn year and they've learned that fighting it is literally pointless. Rise Mikey's practically bouncing up and down in his place looking all the world like it's officially Christmas time and already planning his baking schedule for the next two months. Meanwhile 87 Leo, 87 Raph, 87 Donnie and 87 Mikey are listening intently because they've never heard this song before and it's pretty catchy and they wanna know who sings it.

The clan leaders on the other hand, 87 Splinter, 03 Splinter, 07 Splinter, Bayverse Splinter and Rise Splinter are just already exhausted because here we go again. That's when 03 Mikey and 07 Mikey come into the room beaming twin smiles on their faces and go:

"TIS THE SEASON NOW BABY LET'S GOOOOOO-!"

The 03 and 07 boys are quick to go at their little brothers because this is ridiculous. All the while Mariah Carey's song is going on at midnight in the sewers of NYC. The rest of November is literally spent like this with the lair slowly looking and sounding like Christmas just vomited all over everything. And whenever 87 April, 03 April, 07 April and Bayverse April finally see this they're just like:

"Aw damn that time of year again huh? Wild man."

12 April and Rise April meanwhile are torn between exasperation and fondness for their boys and their Christmas time insanity. 87 Casey, 03 Casey, 07 Casey and Bayverse Casey just start to reek havoc Christmas style along with the others because if you can't beat em join em. 12 Casey meanwhile is trying to get Rise Cassandra and Rise Casey Jr to relax because Christmastime is a time for celebration and no one's trying to attack us fam trust me and we'll go to beat people up later I promise. As December draws a bit closer they'll all get into the Christmas spirit but presently a lot of them lowkey wanna scream.

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bluepeachstudios · 11 months

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GitS Asks!

A good example is Ghost getting hit by the magic blast. It bruised some ribs, knocked the wind right out of him, rendered him basically immovable for a good five minutes, and even after that he was sore and aching. Meanwhile, Raph got hit with the same magic blast and he hit a wall, CRACKED IT, and was more concerned about the FAB ball.

Part of this is because Ghost doesn't have bridges, so impacts can actually crack his ribs. The part of this is that... Ghost wasn't made to be a soldier. He's stronger and faster than humans, yes, but the mutagen was made by a peaceful alien race. They weren't trying to create war machines. Draxum was. The boys were made to get hit and get back up.

The incident with Albearto kind of woke them up to the fact that Ghost even could get hurt. But he healed quickly! Then he was stung, and suddenly they were actually afraid that he would die. They sort of realized his mortality. They don't see him as "fragile". It's near impossible for them at the moment. But they see him as mortal, which is a scary thing for a kid to see their not-dad as.

Honestly? It'd be likely. The kids are taken care of. Their world isn't ending, they have their dad. Ghost's world is dying, and his brothers are slowly withering away with it. The decision would not come easily, and he would never forgive himself. It would destroy him eventually.

@theskrunklyleonneon spoilers ;)

This entire question made me laugh so hard just aughfkgjhdkfjg. Indeed, an off-hand comment by Donatello in 2003 meant that he canonically takes the toaster apart to see how it works and this has permeated through the 2003 fandom for decades. Ghost doesn't mess with the toaster in the Rise lair. He has passed the mantle on to Donnie to take apart the toaster repeatedly. Donnie mostly just tries to improve it but it makes it endlessly more complicated for his brothers to use.

Leo. Leo has exploded a toaster four times before he was banned.

He does find it ironic! But he also gets it. This Leo didn't grow up bearing the weight of being the "responsible" one. Rise Splinter doesn't train or meditate the same way, and Ghost recognizes that all Leos will follow their dads first ;)

Chapter 21!

I actually don't know about Raph giving them codenames, I can't find that episode :x but Donnie only mentions Raph and Mikey and his own, Leo's codename isn't mentioned, so I'd like to believe Donnie would name Ghost "Lilac Queen" because he's the most powerful piece on the board in Donnie's mind.

Honestly? Todd would probably do most of the talking. Ghost would just end up listening, maybe talking back sometimes. Ghost would decide he's pretty okay with Todd by the end of it. Still has no desire to talk to him.

~sort of~ spoilers? Donnie doesn't really... Understand mystic stuff. And he uses excuses, like that he's focused more on science, and makes the excuse to himself that that's why he doesn't understand it, but then Ghost is out here doing both, and Donnie feels...

Inadequate.

Ghost knows the EPF is around but not their purpose. His world didn't have yokai, and this world doesn't seem to have any obvious sign of aliens unless yokai are somehow aliens, but he hasn't seen any sign of triceratons or even utroms. If it's not necessary, he doesn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to talk about it when he was with his brothers, let alone now when he's with kids and a stranger he doesn't trust completely.

Ghost deals with things by fixing them. In his mind, the Triceraton invasion was "fixed". So now he shouldn't have to worry about it.

Right?

His name would be Nate. Me and @melonpalooza have talked about this a lot and god did things get wild. Maybe I'll release some of the short stories I wrote for that one day.

Ghost still wears glasses for close up work! It's mentioned in the first few lines of the fic. :)

He knows they're a high school tech club, but he doesn't expect them to be. Y'know. The Purple Dragons. Just. Some other purple dragons.

But also y'know. Severe paranoia.

I'm glad it helped!

Ghost has definitely done exercises with him without the battle shell and the bo staff. The biggest issue is the battle shell is HEAVY. Donnie grew up wearing it a lot. He learned to fight with it. His muscle memory for balance and movement is based around the battle shell being on. He's a bit clumsier when he fights without it because of that; his center of balance changes.

But Ghost has definitely made sure that even if Donnie is caught without his battle shell that he'll still be able to defend himself. As for being less reliant on tech? Not so much. He still relies heavily on his tech. It's important to him!

He definitely would've joined them immediately. Stuck to them like glue. At that point he was still young and terrified and had full confidence that he could get home. Spending however long helping this universe's Splinter with babies wouldn't be bad.

(This is about Chapter 27 in Ghost in the Shell)

I do try to play people's heartstrings like a harp. Glad it's working. Thank you for enjoying. <3

#asks #gits ask

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microstmnt · 1 year

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Timeskip Turtles Part 1 (Part 2 will have April and Casey, and everyone in lineup to showcase their heights)

Oh boy, these bad boys can fit so many plot points in three years... I’d said that at this point everything is said and done... Unless (I don’t know, there’s only so much you can do and thinking back perhaps I should have made their versions during the encounter with Bishop, or during the alien invasion instead of whipping these guys and going “yes, that all already happened lmao”.. But then again, I’m making these on the fly so... Imagine me rambling in an empty theater and you guys are the rats that inhabit it, listening with curiosity, I love you but ultimately this is for me)

More tidbits over here

Leo: Still the fearless leader, but now with the knowledge that his family is not gonna fall apart if he’s gone. After the defeat of Shredder (that came with its consequences, yay new scars and traumas...) came quite some more issues, like the Foot Clan being disbanded and it’s former members looking for revenge, or the rise in mutant population by an unknown source, but all problems that seemed tame and easily resolved in comparison to the Shredder. So Leo took the opportunity once he thought things had quieted down to take a trip to train, leaving with Casey for about 8 months (8 months that are going to be hell for your brothers baby lmao). Notable scars: Broken plastron (he was sure he was not gonna make it but eventually recovered) by Shredder, some various slashes across his arms by Slash, a nick on the lips by a random foot ninja (he’s embarrased by this scar), the scar in his eye that left him blind by Karai prior to the Battle Nexus arc

Raph: Took the title of leader during Leo’s 8 month absence, in wich the boys had to deal with a mutant uprise, a crazed secret service guy obsessed with “protecting the earth” from aliens that is creating the mutants, the turtles secret fifth sister that was used by the aformentioned crazy guy, and an actual alien invasion so I guess the crazy guy wasn’t so crazy after all... All while your big bro and your best friend are probably having the time of their lives in their little fun trip (so it turns out that Leo is right and being the responsible one is never fun but whatever). Notable scars: Big plastron slashes by Krang, electrocution scar on right arm by Shredder, small scar on the face by a random Foot Ninja, slashes on left shoulder (and shell) and the underside of right arm by Slash, bullet wound by Bishop, and the infamous neck scar by Donnie that he hates looking so is the only scar he purposefully covers

Donnie: Hey, looky who needs glasses (embarrased by this), has fully accepted that he and his brothers are only going to rest when their dead. Not really as affected by Raph that Leo left on a trip, but still prefers when the team is all together, after one too many times where his brothers lack of preparations left them with scars (dumb dumb bros not taking care of themselves of course I gotta do everything around here...) he carries a bunch of supplies on him, anything you can name he probably has it on him. Bishop almost killed him in an explosion... so that was fun.... Notable scars: Explosion caused by Bishop (finally an explosion that wasnt his fault, ehem), face stabs by Slash grabbing him by the head (Donnie is not having a good time), slashes on arm and a plastron wound by Shredder, some knicks and burns on his hands from working without gloves and the infamous leg stab by Raph that is now out of sight because he wears pants (Don: if I had known about the extra protection of pants when we were younger, perhaps I wouldn’t have a scar the size of a state on my leg)

Mikey: Sometime after the defeat of Shredder he and Renet became friends, and eventually started a queerplatonic relationship (cue his brothers reacting with variations of “why her??”), he’s still an exceptional fighter but also is still quite sheltered, so he is the one with the least scars by virtue of being pulled from fights by his bros as soon as it looks like he’s not doing so good (something that pisses him off but is a little gratefull for as well, it’s complicated), that doesn’t save you from being kidnapped and tortured by Bishop tho, didn’t last long but that’s where he learned that they all have an older sister (being the first one to find out), got back into art since he needed some healthy coping mechanisms, and eventually turned into a bonding activity with his bros. Notable scars: bite mark on left shoulder by Slash, slash in right shoulder (and part broken plastron) by Shredder, acid burns on hands by being tortured by Bishop

All in all, I took a lot of things from Bayverse when designing the boys (if it wasnt obvious), and I do realize that it’s kinda weird to be like: here they are three years later, they crawled through hell during that time teehee, but this is after so whatever,

But what can I say, I kinda make these up as I go and things change and other stuff stays, who knows, maybe in a year this post will be rendered completely obsolete because I thought of something more interesting... Hell, some things that I’ve already said about existing characters have been rendered obsolete, like Usagi’s height, but that’s something for Part 3 of Timeskip Versions

Thank you all for liking or reblogging, I know a lot of these things are all over the place but it genuinely makes me happy when I see notes of any kind in my posts

#teenage mutant ninja turtles #micros tmnt #tmnt #tmnt 1984 #tmnt 1987 #tmnt 2003 #tmnt 1990 #tmnt bayverse #tmnt 2007 #tmnt 2012 #rottmnt #tmnt mutant mayhem #tmnt idw #tmnt leonardo #tmnt raphael #tmnt donatello #tmnt michelangelo

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thedawningofthehour · 7 months

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While I love the Disaster Twins, I am also a big fan of the PB&J Duo (or Smarts N Crafts as some would call it). I also believe in the head/fan canon that between the time that season 2 ended and the movie took place, Mikey and Donnie leaned on each other as Leo fought with them and Raph, making things become tense in the new lair? What would happen if DOTH! Leo went into the canonverse around the time of the ROTTMNT movie? Would he be mad upon finding out how canon Leo acted/hurt his twin?

The more I think about it, the more I think making Leo the leader was a terrible move on Splinter's part, both as a sensei and as a father. Like yes, he needed to shape up and start taking things more seriously to take advantage of his talents-but that wasn't the way to do it. It's shown that Leo will rise to the occasion and take over if he feels like he needs to, and Raph was willing to listen to him and defer to his tactics. Thrusting Leo into that role with the assumption he'll learn on the job, that just endangered the whole team.

And it completely ruined the brothers' relationships with each other. Raph pulled away from everyone, terrified that Leo's lack of discipline would get one of his brothers killed and focusing on trying to get Leo to shape up and take his role seriously-and he couldn't, you can't force someone to change like that, Leo had to decide to clean up his act himself. Leo just started acting like a little shit in the hopes his dad would go back on his decision and formally reinstall Raph as leader. They were both at each other's throats, and neither would feel like they could be open and honest with their other brothers about how they were feeling, because they were supposed to be Better than that.

And I know I can't put that all on the characters themselves, it's totally the fault of Nick being absolutely fucking cowards and saying Leo had to end up as leader because Leo Is The Leader and we can't walk away from tradition, (also haven't forgiven them for saying Cass couldn't be Casey Jones, like, BRO) while at the same time cutting the show in half and giving the crew like five minutes to throw together a finale. But still. Yeah, Donnie and Mikey likely would have gotten closer as their brothers pushed themselves farther apart, both from each other and their other brothers. Especially with April (and potentially Cass, she's the same age) off at college and a lot busier than usual.

I mean, doth Leo would absolutely agree with canon Leo's decision to lock himself in the Prison Dimension. No price too high to keep his family safe, after all. I don't think he'd really be that different from canon Leo's feelings? Like, canon Leo does obviously feel guilty about what he's doing, and later on he realizes how stupid he's been. Doth Leo would still feel terrified at the thought of being the leader, being responsible for the lives of people he loves. At least at this point in doth.

#doth asks

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ice-o-fon · 1 year

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Okay so I’ve been seeing people redesigning the tmnt boys, and I wanted to put my own spin on it.

(These are just my extremely altered versions of the turtle boys)

So here they are!

I thought that it’d be cool if each turtles respective colour was gained through their actual species. And yes I’m aware none of them are green anymore, which is something I also thought was weird but another part of me really digger the idea of pushing the limits of these redesigns. So.

A bit of origin of these turtles

Basically splinter was a loyal member of the Hamato clan, however after falling in love with Tang Shen. He moved to New York with her and they had a child, (ya know her, ya love her) Karai. But life in New York can be extremely hard, and so in order to make some more cash on the side, splinter decided to take on underground fights. One day he looses a guy a lot of money and said guy basically kidnapped splinter. And the rest is kinda based mainly off the the rise origins.

Splinter is given to the foot clan by this guy, who at the time said foot clan is experimenting on animals. Trying to make them into mutants, they use splinters dna in this and produce the turtles. But in the same night, a fire is started which causes splinter to both get accidentally mutated into a rat and also allows him to escape with the turtles. As he felt personally responsible for their existence.

However, when it came time to return home to Tang Shen, he couldn’t do it. Being a rat and all. So he went and hid away in the sewers, as ya do. And decided to raise his turtle children in hopes that one day they’d be able to track down the foot clan and find a cure for his mutation.

Here’s some info one the boys too

Leo

Leo is a leather back sea turtle, he is the eldest (according to himself). He remains as flamboyant as he is in rise, but is definitely got a sprinkle of the 2012 Leo too. He tends to listen to splinter the most out of his brothers, as he’s splinters favourite he feels a constant need to live up to that standard. Becoming a little egotistical in the process of this.

Being a leatherback turtle he often just swims around. He is one of the better skilled fighters/strategists of his brothers and takes that with pride (he ends up being a bit of a jerk), but also tends to laze about when splinters not around. He is not the leader of the group as the group doesn’t really have a leader and takes on whatever roles fit best for each mission. He’s still heavy into sci-fi and comic books.

Raph

Raph is an albino forest turtle, due to his albinism he has rather bad eyesight. Donnie made him some glasses for it but most the time he doesn’t wear them. Raph tends to be the best in terms of leadership, but strategical thinking is often left to Leo. He is the one who encourages his brothers to keep training, often butting heads with Leo.

Raph is not as quick to anger as he is in 2012 but he still is more susceptible to it compared to his brothers. Although, he is always there for them when they need him. Being a heavy emotional support for his family (in the big brother tuff love kinda way). He’s also got all the sass of the original Raph too.

Mikey

Mikey is a western swamp tortoise, however all his family keeps telling him he’s a turtle. They’re scared his world will be crushed if they find out he’s not a turtle. Why did I make him a western swamp tortoise? Because i love those little guys and their faces are just so Mikey. He’s the most artistic of the group and is extremely into the old masters (painters). He often forces his family to help him with poses for his paintings.

He is just as energetic as all Mikey’s are. He still has ADHD (like in rise, cuz it’s good rep). Mikey is often the one sent in to get info out of people, he’s a real sweet talker. Like Raph he’s also an emotional crutch for the family, being somewhat of a therapist to his brothers and father.

Mikey’s little bag holds his art supplies

Donnie

I really liked that Donnie was a soft shelled turtle in Rise so I kept him like that cuz don’t change what ain’t broken. Donnie’s practically just rise Donnie for the most part. However, like in 2012 he’s less cynical then rises Donnie. Plus less of a god complex, he still believes he’s the best but doesn’t say it as much as rises Donnie. He maintains his autism form rise Donnie.

Donnie mostly works on new gear for his brothers and himself to make things easier. Leo often points blame at Donnie whenever he’s called lazy because Donnie apparently “set a bad example with all his automatic machines”. Donnie always points out flaws in Leo’s logic, but still loves his brother dearly. And always pops in with a sarcastic remark when needed.

Donnie’s headphone things were def not inspired by the cat earphones.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #leonardo #donetello #michelangelo #rapheal #tmnt #rise leo #rise raph #rise michelangelo #rise donnie #rise of the tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt redesign #tmnt fanart

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iztarshi · 1 year

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Watching the beginning of the Rise movie again, I can't escape the feeling that everyone actually did ignore Splinter declaring Leo the leader. Yes, we later get Leo declaring that they're doing things his way and dragging Donnie and Mikey along despite their better judgement, but this is in the context of Raph being missing - a context where we've seen Leo take the lead during the series.

Looking at the way everyone behaves up to until the gateway is opened for the Krang, it seems more like Raph is still in charge but Leo is starting to rebel.

Raph gets angry about Leo skipping training to goof around. Raph clearly thinks he has the authority to assign Leo training - it's the argument from Pizza Puffs where Raph wants training and missions and feels he has the right to demand the others do these things. Even though, even back then, he was a self-appointed leader. The only sign that Leo has any authority here is that Raph blames him for Donnie and Mikey goofing off as well.

Raph is the one who expects to be in charge of the mission. He says, "Here's the plan," and... Leo says they don't need one and runs off, but it seems to surprise everyone that he's doing that. Raph's the one calling out manouver numbers. There's not really a feeling that he's doing this because Leo isn't, Raph seems to be expecting to do this - the thing that's not right is that Leo isn't listening to him.

In a lot of ways the split between Leo and Raph here is one that's been brewing throughout the series. Leo was never all that on board with being "heroes" to begin with. He wanted his siblings to be happy and he didn't want to be left out, so he came along. But while there are things Leo deems important to fight - oozequitos, Shredder - he's never been there for Raph's idea that it's their responsibility to fight every criminal and they're letting people down if they don't.

A lot of Leo's attitude here also seems to be about - well, the Shredder was meant to be the ultimate enemy of the Hamato clan, right? To the point all the effort was put into stopping him coming back rather than defeating him. He was a risk to all of humanity. And they beat him! He's done! Everything that comes after should be easy by comparison. Why's Raph still pushing them to improve? They're already way better than they'll ever need to be. Leo's wrong, but he's also got no reason to think he's wrong.

Raph was alarmed by the Shredder and wants to make sure nothing can ever take them off guard again. Leo wants to get back to normal life - and the pizza challenge is very much their normal sort of thing.

But Leo isn't acting like he could tell Raph to knock it off. He's acting like Raph is in charge but he's annoyed enough about what Raph wants that he's being difficult - and he even seems to feel a bit guilty about it.

#rise turtles #rise movie #I feel a bit bad that Leo comes around to Raph's perspective in the movie tbh #it teaches him in the most traumatic way that actually he does have to be responsible for stopping every crime #even the ones like theft from a museum that he thinks are trivial #he never wanted the world to be on his shoulders #but apparently it is regardless

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ducknotinarow · 1 year

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Ramble about: Mikey! :D I wanna know all about the sunshine baby ;3; any verse and anything you wanna talk about

| Ramble about my muse

Imma do this where I start on things that apply to all takes of Mikey then more specific stuff for each verse I have. Mostly it'ss just be 2003 and 2012 though since Rise ive talked about so i left him out of his own section and 87 a bit newer so his bit will be the shortest.

Aromatic Pansexual. Mikey dosen't care to much for being in a romantic relationship this dosen't mean he won't he a bit content with his own interests and platonic relationships. It's why he tends to vicariously live and meddle a bit in his brothers/friends relationships.

He attracted to ones good vibes over their gender uwu. Mikey has actually gotten experience under his belt he just dosen’t talk about it. He can keep thinks more casual.

Genderfluid. pronouns? he will actually use any. he/him. They/Them. She/Her.

I have made a few mentions here and there on a few Mikey's being pretty open on their gender in responses. Like how Rise and 2012 both share an interest in painting their nails and their brothers nails or shells if they let him

Mikey dosen't use Labels however. He is just Mikey.

All Mikeys do like to paint their nails but they don't all push it to their brothers. 87/03 go with one color and its mostly just orange. 12/rise will mix it up and sometimes to mutplie colors at a time.

Highly empathic. Mikey is very attuned to others feelings it's why hes the likely the one you wanna meet first out of the four. He dosen't view many as threat which can be both bad and good. SO if Mikey DOSE feel someone can't be trusted it might pay to listen to him.

Has ADHD. Now really only the Rise version has this confirmed but well I always saw the case for 2003 and 2012 and I can see it easily applied to him over all.

Highly admires all his brothers. True to his place as the baby in the family Mikey looks up to his brothers and admires them for who they are. Often trying to emulate them.

Also because of that and his empathy hes highly aware of his older brothers hang ups and struggles. He knows Leo burned of Leader/How hard they are on themself (rise), He knows Raph carries the worlds problems on his shoulders, He knows Donnie sets his self worth into his mind and creations and feels like a failure if he cant fix an issue. Mikey is painfully aware of this all.

It why hes a tad more relaxed and laid back and tries to get them involved in his own antics. Or gets a bit to involved in what they are doing. Yeah hes annoying but its coming from a good place.

Super protective. Sorry to anyone who dates his brothers or takes a liking to them. Will he befriend you and be that siblings that steals his brothers partner away to hang with him? yes he will. But theres a slight motive behind it. He's making sure you good for his brothers and well thats a hard thing to crack to Mikey because of how highly he thinks of them. Even Casey someone he is friends with he has done this with.

That another thing out of all the turtles? Mikey is the one you don't wanna make mad. Sure Raph, Leo and even the rare times Donnie snap is something you wanna avoid but Mikeys worse. He aims to hurt. Last Ronin uwu is a good example or ya know 2012 throwing a whole couch out a window over Leo or Rise Mikey throwing buildings and boats even.

It's stated and shown in many of the shows and comics that Mikey could be one of the greatest ninjas out there, Even rivaling Leo's abilities. I feel last Ronin shows it most. He has often gotten the better of all his brothers when pitted against them at times. Mikey just lacks the drive, focus and motivation at times.

Has Severe stage fright, just can not handle the spot light funny enough.

Is a major gift giver for no reason at all. he just sees something and thinks his brothers would like it. Sometimes yeah its just a rock it made him think of them okay

Gets upset if his brothers disguises clash in anyway u-u just cause they live off trash don't mean they have to dress it.

Casey's look is trash but Casey scares him to much to say anything about it.

2003

Having to kill a deal with version of Splinter fucked with him a bit more than he has noticed. He felt guilty about it for months and made sure to be a bit more serious with training for a bit of time.

Loved super heros since his first comic book he ever came across.

His favorites are Captain America, Spider man, Batman and Wonder women.

It's what inspires him to feel he and brothers could do real good for the city. Not just simply hide away they can help people.

Helping others is his biggest goal. Even why he dawned the Turtle Titan persona.

Mikey dose a lot of charity work on his own. Making sure orphanages/foster homes are getting toys and essentials to the kids. Helping their homeless friends out with basics through the year.

What makes Mikey happiest? being useful to others even if he might complain here and there knowing he helped someone? it just feels nice.

2012

Admires Donnie the most of his brothers and is why he often is always in their lab. Also them always being team up as the B team adds to his closeness.

pretty open on his whole gender thing. He’s got a collection of dresses and wigs and such. It’s why he loves those teen magazines.

Loves to paint his brothers shells tends to keep him quite and it's a fun bonding moment for Mikey. At most it's just a small section hell do a small design on. But if they will let him go all out he will uwu

Has a few of online friends that he met from online games, he has actually met in person. Hes worried his brothers would freak out about it. So he kinds of keeps this fact to himself.

#muse| hamato michelangelo #muse bio: hamato michelangelo #meme asks #madamkezzie #ramble about my muse meme #stay queued

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skylarmoon71 · 3 years

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AU Leonardo x Blind Murdock Reader:(TMNT 2014/2016) Chapter 8 (B) Final

“Mikey I told you not to eat next to the console!!”

You’ve lost count of how many times he’s warned the male about what cheese does to the system. Mikey slurps up the pizza, raising his hands.

“Waft Pizza!”

Guilty as charged.

Hearing them argue is routine now. You love it. Something so simple meant a whole lot.

After greeting all three brothers, you're headed to the dojo. It’s your ritual. Leo is almost always there, or tending to his little tree. You have no idea what type. Lack of sight kind of did that. You could have just asked him, but you never really. You liked how calm he’d be when he was trimming it. It was soothing. Your hands graze over the walls as you walk through. Upon getting to your destination, you stop at the entrance, listening for the rhythms of his breathing. It’s slow, controlled. From your spot, you can tell he’s sitting.

“(Y/N).” you smile. You’re not sure if his eyes are open or not. But you're assuming he’s just gotten so used to sensing your presence the same way you sense his.

“Hey Leo, how was patrol last night?”

Usually you go out with the boys, but yesterday was an important day to you, and of course Leo understood that, so he didn’t press when you told him you’d be unavailable that night.

"It was pretty quiet. I think criminals are finally getting the message. Truthfully, maybe they heard daredevil moved in and they decided to switch careers. “ you snicker.

“What can I say, I have a reputation.”

“Yes you do.”

He wasn’t wrong, crime was at an all time low. Maybe you did instill a bit of fear in the city’s criminals. Leo watches you keenly, and he notices the look on your face. It’s adorable, they way you seem to fidget when you want to ask a question, but unsure of how to go about it. He can’t help but feel honored. You’re far different from the girl he met a few months ago. He can barely believe that it’s the same person.

You seemed so cold at the start, but he knows that was just a front. A barrier to protect yourself. Getting to know you was one of the most amazing things he realized. Watching you slowly become a part of his family, rather than the warrior or vigilante everyone else saw. He was the only one who got to see this side of you. It was weirdly empowering for him. To be someone you trusted, cared about.

“Leo..” Looks like you’d finally worked up the courage to ask your question.

“Yes?”

You take a step inside, and Leo just sits there, admiring you. He knows it’s bad but sometimes he’s glad you're blind. If you saw how often he’d stare at you, you’d probably be a little weirded out. But he can’t help it. In his eyes, you’re just so radiant.

“This might be a little weird but I..well a few weeks ago I was talking with the boys and Donnie pointed out that I’d have a general idea of what you guys look like through my hands. So they let me touch their faces, you know you walked in on it.” you give a nervous chuckle, brushing your hair behind your ear.

“I was just wondering if maybe I can..touch your face?”

He swallows. That might not be such a good idea. He wasn’t sure what kind of reaction he’d have if you touched him. So far he hadn’t had any troubles. When you asked for more time, he respected that. Hell he was so grateful that you were honest with him about what you wanted. It was easy for him to wait, as long as he kept you at a safe distance he’d be fine. Until now that is.

“Sure.” He replied. “Come on, don’t make it obvious.” He had to mentally calm himself down.

That cute little smile graced your lips again, and you moved closer, taking a seat right in front of him. Your knees touched, and you raised your head. You could hear his heart so clearly. Ever harsh thump against his rib cage.

“He’s nervous.”

You made him nervous. A little fluttery feeling erupted in your stomach at the realization. Opening your palms, you reached for him slowly. The minute your hands touched his skin, you could feel the temperature rise in the room. The air felt thick, but not in a suffocating or uncomfortable way, more like anticipation. Your fingers glide softly over his cheeks, up to his forehead, then back down, sifting past the mask. You grin when you get to his nose.

“Gosh do all of you have a cute little nose.” Leo’s eyes light up. Was it just him or were you actually gushing, at his nose of all things.

“I can’t imagine Raph talking too well to you calling him cute. “

“Oh he didn’t.” Leo laughs softly and you're still venturing over his face curiously, you’re trying to map out as much as you can. When your thumbs brush just below his mask this time, somehow your touch feels different. It elicits a strange feeling throughout his body now.

“What color are your eyes?” you say it just above a whisper, and he takes another breath before he answers.

“Their blue.”

“Blue…” you can picture it. He’s almost certain you're finished, but then your thumb lands on his lips. You brush his lower lip, and he’s frozen solid. He’s afraid to move, because if he does, there’s no telling what he’ll do.

“Your lips are so soft Leo.” you really were testing his will now.

“(Y/N).” His strained tone has an instant response. Goosebumps rise on your skin.

“I’m ready.”

His forehead creases. Did he hear that right?

“I’m ready Leo.”

You can tell it’s not what he expects, and you’re thankful for him. After the talk you had, Leo never pushed. He respected your need for space and time to figure things out. He didn’t walk around like a kicked puppy either, or ignore you. He was still the same sweet guy you’d fallen for. The one you supposed you’d been waiting for.

“I want us to be..something more. I care about you so much and in the time that I’ve met you, I generally enjoy so many things now. I look forward to waking up in the morning, even going to school because I know when I get back I get to see you guys, I get to see you Leo. You’re the highlight of my day. You make me feel so safe and secure and cared for and weightless. When you’re around I don’t have to worry because I know you’re looking out for me, you all are and I just want to return that happiness because the only conclusion I’ve come up with is that the only way for me to possibly be happier than I already am...it’s to be with you. “

The one thing that’s running through his head right now is that he prays that this isn’t some dream. Because if it is, he wouldn’t mind sleeping forever. He doesn’t say a word, and when he shifts forward, your hands drop from his lips, and land on his chest.

“L-Le-”

He can’t control himself anymore, his lips find your own, and you blush. You were right, his lips are so freaking soft. This kiss, it’s filled with every needy stare, labored breath, intense heartbeat. You know he’s been dying to do this, probably the same way you’ve been longing to feel it. You retaliate, hands wrapping around his neck as he pulls your body to him, deepening the kiss. You’re both hungry, starved is more like it.

With every desperate touch of your lips, there’s a heavy breath. His hands feel like their roaming, and you can’t stop the moan that escapes when his large palm settles on your breast. You’ve never been touched like this, or at all for that matter. Not many teenagers in your school were into the whole brooding blind thing you suppose.

And honestly, you’re glad that you never turned to sex to fill the void you’ve felt until this point. Because this moment with Leo, it feels right. His touches are intimate, and you're in the Dojo for goodness sake, anyone could walk in on your two, but your mind is too fogged by the rush of it all. The feeling of elation that rises from your chest, and goes throughout your body. Leo parts, but he doesn’t stop. He’s placing desperate kisses all over your skin. Along your neck. He pushes your hair gently to the side, and when he begins to litter little bites on your skin, you moan once again. He’s marking you. Claiming you.

“L-Leo..” he picks you up in one swift move, pulling back to watch your breathless form.

“Are you sure..this is what you want.” there’s a slight tinge of fear in his voice. You banish any doubts he has with a deep kiss. When you pull back, you're holding his cheeks in your hands.

“I’m positive Leo.”

He can breathe easy now. Because although he’s sure he’s not asleep, he needs to double check.

“I love you (Y/N).” he’s so happy he can finally tell you all that he’s been keeping to himself.

The way you glow, he knows he made the right choice. “I love you too Leo.” your eyes well up, and he stalks outside, heading for his room. He’s about to take away all your pain. Cover you in nothing but love. All night long.

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elladescent449-artspace · 3 years

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It Started With the Milk : Chapter 8 - Home Sweet Home

‘It’ wasn’t home. Once Leo got back to the lair, he could tell Raph about everything, come up with a plan, and they’d be able to fix Donnie before anything else happened. ‘Easy as pie,’ the ever-positive-mental-personification-of-Raph said, after another moment he heard him say, ‘you know how to make pie?’ Leo wanted to chuckle, he really did but he was too stressed to laugh. After landing in a surprisingly soft pile of garbage, Leo had considered scaling back up the fire escape to protect April but reconsidered. He trusted her, especially because there were times where she proved herself to be more capable than them, but his chest still ached and his mind still worried as he left through the alley’s manhole.

Below the surface of the streets the water was still high from the rain. A shallow layer of water covered the brick walkway that soaked his shins as he ran. Leonardo took a sharp left around a corner and he could see a distant light from the lair. He picked up speed and after a moment he could make out the silhouette that stood by the entrance.

Raphael turned to the sound of Leo’s splashing. Alertly, he shouted “Leo!” before running towards his brother.

Leo stumbled as he slowed. “Raph, I-” He was crushed in a hug before he could process the motion.

The hug was tightened even more as Raphael pulled him closer to his chest. “It’s okay.”

Leo could feel his brother's voice vibrate through him at the close proximity, it felt safe, and it felt familiar. Leo’s arms slowly trained up Raph’s back as he returned the hug. “I was so scared,” Leo’s voice finally cracked and he could feel a sting develop in his throat as he tried to fight the tears that welled in his eyes. “It happened so fast and Donnie- It almost got me.”

Raphael dropped to a whisper. “Leo, you’re fine, you’re safe.”

“I don’t think that I am, I don’t think any of us are.” Leo only had to push a little to get Raph to release the hug. He looked up to his face, his expression strained with anxiety. “Whatever it did to Donnie, it wants to do to me, and I think it wants to do it to all of us.”

“Let’s go sit down and we’ll talk about it.” Raphael placed his hand on Leo’s back as he began to guide him into the lair. The temperature of their home was stark in contrast compared to the cold sewer pipe. Leo felt a wave of warmth wash over him as he went from the dark shadows of the walkways to the painted light from the open ceiling.

They passed by the kitchen and into the central room, where fragments of wood were still scattered on the floor. Looking up, Leo saw a comically turtle-shaped hole in the vert ramp. He would usually laugh at something like that, maybe even take a picture and send it to April, but it only made his stomach quiver with anxiety.

As they passed the ramp, Leo started: “It’s Donnie’s body.” There was only silence in the lair as they walked. “It’s his voice, it’s his face, but It is not Donnie.” He looked to Raph, who listened patiently as they entered the TV room. “It’s taken over him and maybe it’s-” Leo began trying to find a plausible reason, he hadn’t thought about how it had blended so well into their family circle. He flopped down onto his beanbag and raph pushed over his own before sitting down, leaning forward to get close to his brother. Leo sucked in a sharp breath, “maybe it’s, like...downloaded his memories too, that explains why it's been able to replicate him so well.”

“I… see,” The doubt in Raphael's voice hit Leo like a hammer.

“I’m not lying,” he uttered.

Raphael brought his hands up with a calming gesture. “I know, I know you’re not-” “I’m not joking about this Raph,” Leonardo needed to convince Raph before it was too late, before that thing came home. “Please, this is serious,” he begged.

There was a second of silence as he cocked his head to the side and read Leo’s face. Everything that Leonardo was saying was sincere, but… Raph gave a sigh as he placed his hand on Leo’s shoulder. He made eye contact with Leo as he calmly said: “I know it’s not a prank, but…”

“What?” A prank. A prank.

Raph shut his eyes for a moment and grimaced before trying again. “Leo, don’t you think that’s a little out there?”

There was a moment of silence brought upon by Leo’s shock before he scoffed. “We’ve fought mutant pigs with tentacles for arms, stinky plant mutants, giant spider ladies, a hypnotist hippopotamus,” a dry laugh escaped him as he continued, “and you’re saying that a body controlling parasite is a little out there?”

“Hold on, what I mean is-”

Leo cut him off, his voice beginning to rise. “He hasn’t been acting like himself, Raph.”

“I haven’t noticed anything, and when I saw him earlier-”

“That’s the thing!” Leo sprung up, coming up to eye level with his massive brother, “nobody has noticed but me.” He pointed to himself as he continued, “I talked to Mikey about it, and he didn’t notice anything either, but I am telling you-”

“Leo…” Raph tried to interject

“It is not Donatello.”

“Let’s just calm down, okay?”

“Raph, please.” He began to plead, his hand motioning over his heart, “you didn’t see it, he intentionally lost a dance battle to me, Raph,” Leo covered his mouth as he gave a quiet yawn.

Raphael closed his eyes as he sighed. He brought his hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose, “Leo…”

Leo continued, his voice cracking under the emotional strain as he tried to make his brother understand, to make him believe him. “He practically recycled Shelldon, didn’t give a second glance when Mikey broke the tank-”

“Mikey broke the tank?”

“That’s not the point!” He shouted, surprising Raphael. “Don’t you realize what a mix of that means? Donnie would never. Ever. Disassemble Shelldon. That project is his pride and joy and for him to just open him up and leave him?”

“You saw Shelldon taken apart?”

“Well, no.” He stumbled over his own words as he realized what that sounded like,“but Mikey did!”

“Mikey knows about this?” Raph asked.

“Yes! But he didn’t believe me either,” he knew that he sounded frantic, but he continued, “this thing is a master manipulator, and it’s like it already knows everything about us from Donatello.”

“Leo-” Raph tried to interject.

“These facts have been building on eachother, “And then today he ghosted April, and attacked me!”

“What do you mean he attacked you?”

“I was trying to leave to go pick up April and he grabbed me, It tried to-” Leo’s voice cracked again. The memory of being pushed to the ground made his throat dry, “It tried to put a parasite in me, but I was able to get away before It did.”

Raphael sat quietly, listening to his younger brother's panicked words. He opened his mouth before shutting it again, trying to think of how he could possibly follow up. “How long has this been going on for?”

“Days Raph, it’s making my skin crawl.” A tear fell down his face and he quickly wiped it away. “I’ve been so- so panicked by all this that I feel like i’m losing my mind, I haven’t slept and I-” Another yawn ripped out of Leo as if on cue, making him stagger backwards as Leo covered his mouth. His brother stood. Raphael pressed the back of his massive hand against Leo’s forehead, effectively cutting him off and obscuring his vision.

After a few seconds, Raphael whispered, “you’re warm…”

Leo exhaled, “I was just running.”

Both of Raphael’s hands grabbed Leo’s face as Raph pulled him in, pressing his beak against his forehead. After a moment he hummed, releasing his smaller brother. “Leo, could you be running a fever?”

“No, I'm not running a fever!”

In an attempt to ease the conversation Raphael lowered his voice. “You don’t have to yell, i’m just making sure that you’re not-”

“Delusional?” Leo’s voice strained.

Frustration began to build in Raph’s demeanor as the conversation moved from rational to accusatory. “I’m not saying that.”

The tone was shifting in a way that Leo didn’t want. He was trying to make Raph get it, but the concept of this bad-thing-that-was-happening just wasn’t forming in his head. “Donatello” had integrated itself perfectly, it had taken days for Leo to notice something before he figured it out, so maybe if he took this from a different direction… “I’m sorry, a lot has happened today.”

Raphael’s expression softened. “It’s okay, look, let’s just talk this out, alright? I’m trying to understand.”

Leo folded his arms as he shifted his stance to something more comfortable. “I’m trying to explain this to you without sounding crazy,” he chuckled.

“Why don’t we start with the skate ramp,” Raph placed a hand on his arm. “What happened there?”

“Okay.” Yes, better. This was good! Leonardo would tell him his side of the story and maybe then Raphael would start to understand what was going on! Leo took a deep breath, he was going to tell Raph everything, from the attack, to April’s apartment, to everything It said and the parasite in the bottle. “I was leaving to pick up April and-” There was the sharp sound of pressurized air and then he felt a pinch strike him, and then Leo began to feel numb.

Raphael immediately noticed the fog in Leo’s eyes as he trailed off. Leo looked down and Raph followed his vision, spotting the brightly colored yellow dart in his thigh.

“Raph-” Darkness was already closing his vision. He took a step and his legs buckled beneath him. Leonardo tried to grab his brother, to use him to steady himself, only to find that his hands weren’t working anymore.

He couldn’t feel it, but Raphael caught him before he fell. After another second Leo lost consciousness all together, succumbing to the empty blackness. Raph looked up. On the second level of the lair, standing with a wide stance, Donnatello lowered the tranquilizer gun.

“Why did you do that?” When there wasn’t a response a familiar anger krept into Raphael’s tone. He repeated himself, “Donnie, why did you do that?!”

Donatello sighed and rolled his eyes in annoyance. “He was clearly showing signs of insanity,” he said matter-of-factly. He set the dart gun down to lean against the wall before he began to approach them. “Our best option would be to treat him for a level two fever before he infects anyone else, just give him to me.”

Leo was fully limp in Raph’s arms now, a few tears escaping from his peaceful expression. Raph didn’t know if that was an effect of the drugs or from the pain, or maybe if it was from the fear he felt right before he went unconscious. “Actually,” he twisted away from Donatello’s reaching arms, “I have a better idea.”

Donatello visibly twitched at Raphael’s response, “Raphael, as the smart one-

“As the leader,” the emphasis on that word was stronger than Donnie’s,“we’re going to treat him the same way we treat any sickness, Mikey, go get the plastic seals.”

“Roger that!”

“Micheal.” Michelangelo stopped in his tracks at the warningly low tone Donnie held in his voice. Looking at Raph with a dark expression, “what’s the big deal? I can just give him something in my lab and we can get this over with.”

“Look, he is terrified,” he held Leo just a bit tighter. “If it is a fever, it’ll pass in a couple of hours like it always does,” they weren’t cruel.

Through gritted teeth Donatello said, “he’s a danger, not only to himself,” he raised his tightly bandaged hand, practically shoving it in Raph’s face, “but to us as well!”

A pang of guilt and uncertainty pulsed in Raph’s chest, “you’re right Don,” a small smirk appeared on his purple brother's face, “but,” and the smirk disappeared, “He’s sick and he’s scared. We don’t want to make it any worse… and besides, you hate sick people in your lab.”

Donatello’s fist clenched for a moment and Raphael matched his brother's stare with equally narrowed eyes. His face still contorted with frustration, Donnie muttered, “fine.” He turned and left the room towards his lab, ripping the tranquilizer gun from the wall as he went.

The awkward silence that was left made Raphael feel tired. ‘Is this the right choice?’ he thought. His mind flicked over that short argument and he suddenly felt confused, since when did Donnie play the doctor of the family? Sure, he had enough chemicals to analyze stuff, but he had nothing in the medicine department. So why did he want Leo in his lab?

“Hey,” the soft tone pulled Raphael from his thoughts as he turned towards Mikey. Michelangelo put a gentle hand on Raph’s shoulder. “Don’t worry Raph, Leo’s gonna be okay.” And with that Michelangelo turned and left to get the plastic seal they would use on Leo’s door.

Raphael sighed as he rubbed a hand over his face. “I sure hope so.”

And here's the link! : https://archiveofourown.org/works/28420926/chapters/79888930

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #writing #fanfic #fanfiction #It started with the milk #chapter 8 #Raph and Donnie conflict!#Not much #but its there!#Oh also it's not Donnie but close enough #my writing

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remmushound · 4 years

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Can you please write 2018 april hanging out with 2012 Donnie and vice versa? I'm curious as to how you think the 2018 versions would react to their 2012 version of their bff

@assanmaharielsreblogs

2012!April; 2018!Donnie

April wasn’t quite sure what to do with herself. Here she was in this strange, warped version of the lair with strange, warped versions of the turtles that she considered family. Somewhere, she was sure, was another version of her. Another version of Casey, and Splinter, and maybe even Shredde.

“Um. Excuse me? O... other Raph?”

The massive mutant spun around to face her. “Yes?”

“Is there a... bathroom I can freshen up in?” She asked with a nervous laughter.

“Oh, yeah! Down the hall, first door on the left.” Raphael directed her down the hallway.

“Thanks.”

April walked down the hall as Raphael instructed, and was about to enter the bathroom when another open door caught her attention. She couldn’t help but peer inside. It was obvious at the very first glance who the room belonged to; a majority of it was taken up by machines, hanging on the walls and drilled to the floor, with countless, surprisingly neat wires connecting many of them. Machines that beeped and whirled and clicked and rattled. The room was in a constant state of flashing light and endless background noise that made April’s ears hurt the longer she listened. Stuffed in the corner, surprisingly bare when compared to the rest of the clutter, was a messy bed with a heat lamp hanging above it, though currently switched off. At one of the many computers sat the room’s sole occupant.

Donatello’s fingers worked quickly as he typed a response into a group chat on the monitor, not even having to glance down at the keyboard as his fingers worked their magic. He sent the response, and seconds later a dozen more shot back, and he returned to typing.

“Oh Halley-Lula!” He laughed, then took another sip of his soda, secured safely away from the electronics. “Classic Halley! Always has a way of turning my words against me!”

Donatello leaned back and put his feet up on the table, resting his arms behind his head as he awaited another response. April felt a blush rise to her face.

“Wow...”

“Uh.” Donatello quickly spun around, raising a drawn-on eyebrow at the intrusion. “Can I help you?”

“Oh! Um!” April stiffened up and her eyes darted around the room searching for an escape, “just looking for the bathroom!”

“Oh, well, it’s back down that way.” Donatello pointed her in the right direction.

“Yeah, right.” April walked into the room and closer to Donatello, “well uh— what— what are you doing?” She twirled her hair around her finger.

“Just chatting with some internet friends.” Donatello turned back to his monitor. “Halley-Lula, Lilly, BigBoobBandit, various others.”

“Oh uh, yeah, yeah. That’s cool.” April sat in the nearest seat she could find and scooted it closer to Donatello. “So, is it anything important or can we... hang out?”

Donatello scooted away from her. “I do not like where there is going.”

“What? No!” April shook her head, “I just mean— um... why don’t you tell me about yourself?”

Donatello fixed her with a suspicious glare. “Okay...” he leaned down to grab his staff, using it to push April back a few feet, “But I’m going to have to ask you to respect the five foot rule.”

“Why?”

“Because I am saving myself.” Donatello gave a smug grin and held his hand to his chest.

“For marriage?”

“No; for the sweet, sweet release of death— AND RESPECT THE RULE. PLEASE.”

Donatello pushed April back as she tried to encroach on his personal space.

April laughed. “Y’know, you’re a lot different than my Donnie.”

“Oh? How’s that?”

“I mean, you’re so eh... serious and... and brooding... and...” April struggled to find the words through her tangle of thoughts, “and your voice... my Donnie is... um. Not that.”

“Oh wow, would you look at that? I do not care. I got a bunch of important texty-work to do, so you can sit here but don’t bother me.”

That only made April swoon even more. “Okay...”

~~~~

2012!Donnie; 2018!April

“Dude, not that you’re not cool and everything, but you’re standing way to close!” April took a step away from the Donnie that was practically hanging on top of her.

“Sorry, Sorry!” Donnie said quickly.

“Sorry just aint gonna cut it with me, Dee, so either you get your hands off of me or your head becomes my new baseball.”

Donnie took a quick step backward and held his hands up in surrender.

“That’s better.” April said, grabbing her bat and swinging it to rest against her shoulder. “Now, we could either have a nice conversation where you don’t try to grope me, or you can take your sorry shell back to whatever sewer you crawled out of. So which one it gonna be?”

“The... the first one...” Donnie tapped his fingers together nervously.

“Good.” April pointed her bat at him, “Then let’s talk.”

#tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #tmnt au #donatello #donnie #april #april O’neil #oneshots #tmnt oneshot

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teetlesandnimjas · 4 years

Text

Sorry in advance

I wouldn’t go as far to say that Mikey’s relationship with his family in 2012 is abusive... but the hitting and constant making fun of him is borderline and DEFINITELY AINT COOL. Listen I relate TOO HARD to the little ADHD boy, and I can say without a doubt that the treatment of him is... ehhhhh. The hitting? Yeah no IM NOT GONNA LET IT SLIDE. It wasn’t intentional for the writing of his brothers to be mean to him, but it’s a little obvious that the people writing this weren’t focused on portraying a healthy family. At least they never had siblings of their own. Yeah siblings tease each other and play fight, but it isn’t this one sided. The problem isn’t that they fight (which they do ALOT OF) it’s that Mikey DOESNT DO ANYTHING WRONG. He gets distracted, he makes mistakes, he talks a lot. He is ADHD-coded and that’s just who he is. He’s a little annoying, sure. A N D??? IS THIS A HUGE PROBLEM??? I know Raph has anger issues but JFC DUDE HE DIDNT DO ANYTHING. Also, Mikey has ALOT of attention seeking behavior, and 1. That isn’t healthy, 2. It only leads to him being hit more, and 3. It’s most likely a direct response to being put down and told to shut up. He never has a chance to even fight back. Like there was one scene where he’s just chilling on the roof, trying to get Raph’s attention, poking him because he’s bored-no biggie, a little annoying but he can’t help it- AND JUST RAPH STRAIGHT UP JUMPS AND PINS HIM. LIKE NO SORT OF TOLERANCE, NO CHILL. AND THEN HE GOES ON TO FORCE HIM TO PRAISE HIM AND SHIT AND IM SITTING HERE, MEGA UNCOMFY. Not cool dudes. And again, it’s all one sided, MIKEY DOESNT DO ANYTHING. Another scene, Raph’s annoyed at Mikey about something and is poking him in the head harshly and repeatedly, making fun of him about SOMETHING. Mikey tries to stand up for himself, and then oh so cautiously, obviously scared, he pokes Raph in the chest very gently. GUESS WHO SNAPS ON HIS ASS AND CHASES HIM? RAPH. Dude you were just HARRASSING HIM. Donnie isn’t any better, and would be a tolerable character (albeit a simp) if it wasn’t for him OVER AND OVER AGAIN IGNORING, YELLING, AND MAKING FUN OF MIKEY. “Don’t touch that you idiot” DUDE JUST BE NICE ABOUT IT. I get it, yeah, it can be annoying. Just, like, LOCK THE LAB DOOR OR SOME SHIT. And the worst thing is when Mikey makes a mistake, does something on accident, or slips up. AND THEY GET MAD AT HIM. MY GOD IT WASNT ON PURPOSE. And it’s not excused because “well they have each other’s backs in the end” or “well Raph is nice to him sometimes” AND ITS LIKE. N,,, NO??? THAT DOESN’T EXCUSE ANYTHING?? In fact it probably makes it worse, and makes it seem more MANIPULATIVE than anything. Whether his brothers actually care about him or not, it isn’t right to only treat him decently “if he deserves it” or he’s in danger. Being nice SOMETIMES doesn’t excuse anything, intact it just makes said victim feel BAD for standing up for themselves. Mikey COULD FIGHT BACK. HE IS STRONG. But he doesn’t, and it hurts me. ITS SO NORMAL TO THEM TO BORDERLINE BULLY HIM. Leo is okay. Leo isn’t awful, but he is just kinda there... chilling... and he does chase Mikey down once or twice. He’s not the worst though. Anyways this escalated more than I wanted it to, I just am really frustrated with the 2012 writing. It’s not bad, it’s whatever. But the family dynamic was so off. I want Rise Raph to hug 2012 Mikey, because yes. Dr. DT better break 2012 Raph’s spine. And then teach him how to PROPERLY cope with anger issues, instead of beating people up to feel superior and powerful. Like Rise Mikey teaching 2012 Raph about different mechanisms, like drawing out frustrations, or cooking aggressively. BUT only after Dr. Delicate Touch breaks his spine. Donnie also gets anger management classes, because OH BOY HE HAD A SHORT FUSE.

#not putting this in the 2012 tag #the fans can be... defensive #which all the power to them #but you cant deny that Mikey wasnt treated properly #hhhhhhhhhh #TaNTalks #rottmnt #rants #sorry sorry

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bella-studio · 4 years

Text

Don't wanna lose

/Listen, this is my first ROTTMNT fan fiction. And I warn you that in the original I wrote it in Russian(because I am from Russia), so there may be a poor translation. Please don't scold me xd. And... My text typography is very different from how many others do it. So... I hope this is not a problem, and you will understand/

“Donnie had a nightmare, but to whom would he go for help, if not his brothers?”

The body hurts unbearably. As if all the bones were crushed into small pieces, as if they were well ground in a blender. I barely rise to my elbows and look around. Blood. A lot of blood. My brothers! They are also in the blood. Do not move. No signs of breathing. They have terrible wounds, and Mikey... Oh no, my poor little brother, he got the most. Looking at his broken shell is worse than the pain that I feel from broken bones now. I try to get up, but I can’t. My tech-bo is broken in half, and the shell sparkles from damaged parts. I hear menacing breath behind me. I turn my head. Shredder. He stands in front of me and looks into my eyes with a predatory gaze. At any second, he could attack me, but he was waiting for something. I hear someone is running. April! She is alive! She runs straight at the enemy with a bat in her hands. What are you doing again?! Run from here! Shredder grabs O`Neil with his claws and throws her to the side under a huge box hanging on the chain of the lift. The next second, the armor quickly chopped off the chains. The load fell on April. I heard a loud crunch of bones, and blood poured out from under the load. The shock froze on my face. And in a split second, Shredder, waving his claws, was in front of me.

— NO! — softshell woke up.

And the next thing he felt was already real pain from hitting the bed cover. Perhaps a broken solarium is not the best option for a place to sleep. Von Ryan rubbed his forehead. He began to breathe air through his teeth, squinting his eyes. Such a dream. But this is not surprising. After a three-day battle with Shredder, the destruction of Donnie’s entire tech and almost premature death, the turtle could not sleep well. All these thoughts of death from the claws of an obsessed armor scared him.

Donatello slowly walked down the stairs from the bed. 03:15 AM. Third time in a week. He rubbed his eyes, leaning against the table. Terribly wanted to sleep, but did not want to return to the nightmare. He needs someone who will help to distract from this. But who? Brothers are not an option. Father too... April. Yes, she also suffered, but she can calmly listen and help. The best friend after all.

Donnie took out his hoodie, left the room, looked around. No one, everyone is sleeping. He slowly but surely headed toward the exit to the surface. He climbed the rusty stairs and opened the hatch. It's raining. To match the mood. Softshell closed the hatch and climbed to the roof of the house. Jogging can also distract. He went straight to his friend, jumping from roof to roof and slapping his feet in the puddles. About ten minutes later he was at her window. It is closed: both the lock and the curtains. Donnie sighed sadly, with his hands in his pocket. Unexpectedly there was a screwdriver. How on time. The turtle held the tool to the lock and stopped. But will it not be a hack? ...Nah, Donnie has the right to do it. He continued to poke around the lock until it clicked, announcing the discovery. Von Ryan slowly opened the window and opened the curtains. But here's what surprised: April sat on her bed in headphones, reading a magazine, under a nightlight:

— Do you know that reading under a dim light is not safe for the eyes? — he said loudly enough for the girl to hear him.

She jerked and looked in his direction, pulling out her headphone. They looked at each other for about ten seconds, until O'Neil spoke:

— Said the one who spent days on end sitting at the phone or laptop. — she answered with a grin.

The girl closed the magazine, put it and the headphones on the pedestal and got out of bed, going to the window from which the softshell peeked out. She shoved him forcefully into the room and closed the window:

— What are you doing here?

— Me? I just wanted to visit you, to check how you are... — he was silent for a while, looking away. — How are you?

The girl raised an eyebrow, looking skeptically at a friend. Donnie sighed, admitting defeat:

— Yeah-yeah, I know, I'm lying bad. Just a mental problem, Apes.

— Do you want me to listen? — in response came a sad nod. — Sit down and wait. Be right back.

April left the room. Donnie, as his friend ordered, sat on the bed and waited, looking at her modest room. Solid walls hung with posters, garlands and photos. Photos with her, his brothers, with Splinter, her mom and Mayhem. Even joint photos with him and April, of which there were about five. Donatello smiled involuntarily. For the sake of such moments as to be with the one you love and cherish every moment, you want to live. April came soon with two cups of tea that both of them like. She crouched next to Don, giving him a cup, he gladly took it:

— Well... What happened? — she asked after a moment of silence.

— I had a nightmare. It has been repeated day after day since we got rid of Shredder.

— And what was there?

Donnie looked at April. And she understood from his gaze. She began to look at the floor, considering everything. It’s strange that it’s Donnie, not even Mikey, who dreams of it:

— It was terrible. — began von Ryan. — I am alone, brothers are dead, there is no tech, I can’t move. Shredder is in front of me, but I see that you are running towards him. But he throws you back and...

— And? — stuttered, the girl asked.

— He killed you. Crushed by a huge cargo box. — Donnie started looking at a point on the wall. — There was a lot of blood, I heard a bone crunch. Shredder wanted to attack me, but I woke up.

April looked frightened at her friend. Everyone shared their dreams with her, even Leo. Even Splinter! But not a single dream was so strange and cruel. And then the first dream that her best friend shared turned out to be just that. She wanted to support him, but Donnie continued:

— You know, I wanted to make a copy of Sunita's brooch. I wanted to become a human, wanted to study at school, go to college... But it turns out that we must fight all the villains, defending New York, and only God knows when this will end! — Donatello sobbed, bitter tears flowed from his eyes, dripping into sweet tea. — I do not want all this... I don’t want eternal battles, I don’t want victims, I don’t want... To die.

— Drop these thoughts, please! — O'Neil exclaimed, wiping the tears from the turtle’s eyes and holding a hand on his cheek. — You know that won't happen. You know that everything will be alright! Yes, we will fight for the preservation of the city, we will fight with the villains, but we will not die.

— YOU DO NOT KNOW THIS! — Don cried out, almost crushing the mug in his hands. He put it quickly on the pedestal and got out of bed. — All I hear is words! "Everything will be fine! We can do it! We will win!" But no one knows the real cruelty of life! However, I lost everything I created over the years in a couple of seconds! Shredder nearly killed me! He nearly crippled Raph and Mikey! He almost crippled YOU! I am glad that we generally survived those three days, but the uncertainty about what will happen scares me! I’m afraid that I can literally lose everything: our adventures, our games, watching TV, pizza, Leo’s jokes, Raph’s hugs, Mikey’s paintings, Splinter’s stories, and, most importantly, my only best friend! SO HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT!? — he abruptly fell silent.

The room became very quiet, only sobs of the softshell and the sound of raindrops on the windowsill were audible. Donnie stood with his hands on his head, it seemed as if it would burst from his own scream. The throat now hurts, tears rolled down in a hail. This silence would have lasted longer if Von Ryan had not heard something. Is April... Crying? But she never... No... No, no, no! Donnie did not want to bring her to tears, he did not want to! The turtle knelt in front of her and put his hands on hers, holding a mug of tea that had already cooled down:

— Forgive me. I shouldn't have yelled at you. You are not to blame for our problems. You shouldn't have been involved.

— What!? — the girl was alarmed. Mayhem, which sat with her and reassured her, flinched. — You want to say that after all that we have experienced I am not a participant in all these troubles?! But I was the first to enter the Secret City. I helped you deal with the Purple Dragons, you guys saved me from Albearto, from Hypnopotamus, you defended my “Normal” day from Foot Clan, you helped to get Mayhem from the mirror, and I helped you with the missions. And remember, if I didn’t get on the train, we would not have guessed where Foot Clan had taken the armor! And you still think that I should not participate in this? So you don’t appreciate me as an important member of the team? As a family member?!

— It's not like that at all, April! — Donnie grabbed the girl by the shoulders. — I appreciate you! As a member of a team or family! And you can’t imagine how much I cherish you! I cherish the moment when we met! And I love you with all my heart, like a sister, but I'm afraid to lose you... — Donnie whispered.

It was a shame. He just wanted help, support, and in the end he upset his friend. What kind of friend is he who raises his voice? April's hand touched turtle's cheek, and he looked at the her. She smiled faintly. She is no longer angry, but a precipitate of sadness remains in her eyes:

— You're a fool. — O'Neil grinned. — Well, come here. — she put the mug down on the pedestal next to his and opened her arms for a hug.

Donnie looked at April in surprise. They had not hugged together for so long, as if never. Von Ryan wiped away his tears and reached for his friend, clutching in "warm shackles." They sat like this for about five minutes. April began to giggle.

— What are you doing? — Donnie asked perplexedly, not breaking his arms.

— It's nothing. Just... To talk out, we had to yell at each other. I hope this does not happen again?

— We’ll try to prevent this... Listen, um... Can I stay with you this night?

— Of course, dude. Of course. Just sleep on the couch. — she laughed. — Just kidding, of course. You sleep with me, so that in case of what I reassured you.

— Pf! As you say, April.

I wanted to write that Donnie is more outspoken with April

Just adore these two

/if there are errors in the translation, then tell me about them. I am doing my best/

#rottmnt #Rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #tmnt 2018 #Donnie #donatello #rottmnt donnie #april #april o'neil #rottmnt april #someday i will write about apritello #rottmnt fic

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brightlotusmoon · 7 years

Text

Sneak Peak: The fifth “Lifegiver” story

Sneak peak of my TMNT fanfic “Oxygen And Spirit: Across The Universe” Part of a series that started with “Mikey The Lifegiver” which is on AO3 and FFnet and also here. Not connected with my other TMNT fic series, “Cold Fire Rising”

Spirit And Oxygen: Across The Universe

Part One, Earth and Oxygen

“No, you’re not listening to me.” Don cradles his head in his hands and huffs, second cup of coffee halfway consumed. He tries to kick under the table for emphasis, but there’s no Mikey to kick him back.

“At least finish your bacon and then talk,” Leo pleads, “and then you can go back to his room and sit morosely on his bed.”

Sighing, Donnie throws his head back, wishing to science that he could just make it translatable. “Okay. Okay, I’ll start again. See…I created this holographic program. In which you and the holographic images can interact. You punch them, they punch you. Got that?”

“Sort of,” Raph says.

“Close enough. All right. So, you know that huge, gigantic tunnel that Mikey and Raph have been painting murals all over? The one Mikey’s been secretly using to train his skills outside the lair without you knowing?”

Leo sucks in a breath. “Wait, what?”

“…oops. Well, it doesn’t matter now, does it.” Donnie is feeling more and more snarky. “It’s just…you know the place, yes? That’s all you need to know.”

“We know the place.”

“Well, that is where the holographic projectors have been, and for the last two weeks, Mikey has been using it to improve that raw potential we’ve all been insulting him about. He keeps begging me to invent stronger opponents to test him. It’s been quite fun.”

“Yes, and what does that have to do with the gang war we waded into that resulted in Mikey lying in bed unconscious since yesterday?” Raphael snarls.

“Nothing…maybe a little.” Donatello sighs again. “Remember those moments when the three of us were down, and Mikey was still standing, and he went into literal full ninja warrior mode, silent and stealthy and faster than we’ve ever seen him? And the only reason he fell was because one giant bulky asshole slammed his head into an air conditioner corner, sliced open his thigh with a sword, and broke bones around his knee.”

His brothers nod, grimacing.

“The reason he was able to fight like a demon three times his skill was because he’s been feeding his potential. With me. Using holograms. Guys, he��s…growing up. Okay? He really is better than all of us combined. He just never got the chance to let it out. But with our…current circumstances…he forced himself to.”

Leo and Raph are staring at the kitchen table, pushing around their eggs and hashbrowns.

“We were really harsh with him before the battle.” Leo sounds petulant.

“Now, now,” a voice says, “Don’t with the guilt again.” And Karai folds her arms, leaning against the cabinet closest to the doorway. “I cooked that with love, boys, eat up.”

Raphael can not stop a vicious glare at his scientist brother. “Why you, though? Why’d he confide in you only?”

Donatello shuffles. “Mmmaybe it’s because I don’t hit him over the head as much? It’s because when he messes around in my lab it’s because he really is interested in what I’m working on…” As he trails off, Raph begins to breathe heavily. As he does so, Shinigami comes up next to him and begins to massage his shoulders.

“I had him in my arms,” Raph whispers. “He was babbling nonsense. His head was bleeding and his leg was bleeding and his knee was broken and he was panicking. He kept saying my name and he kept saying ‘bonfire water balloon skies’ and I didn’t--”

“Seizure, remember?” Shinigami murmurs. “His brain took a heavy injury and it caused severe aphasia before he fell unconscious. Not to mention blood loss. None of it was anyone’s fault.”

“I was hurt and I couldn’t get to him. I could’ve…I would’ve…”

He is cut off by Shini’s long fingernails digging into the base of his skull, pushing his head forward as she continues the massage. “Shut up, O Great Protector. He was holding his own, so was Karai, so was I. We all made the mistake of being distracted. Mikey got hurt. If any of you continue to blame yourselves, I’ll show you what my namesake really means.”

Shuddering, the three turtles scrape their plates clean.

...

Donatello is back in the lab, mixing more nutrient electrolyte solutions into IV bags, preparing a large bowl of cool water. He walks slowly across the lair, nudging Mikey’s door open with his shoulder.

April is sitting on the edge of the bed, wiping a wet cloth down the pale, motionless figure lying there, while Ice Cream Kitty leans forward in her bowl that is sitting near the pillow, doing the same with her tongue and paws. Mikey’s pallor is still awful. Leo and Raph donated all the blood Don would allow without them going into shock, but it had been just enough. He slides carefully to the table set up at the bedside, deposits the bowl and bags, and begins changing the IV bag before April even notices him.

“How long did you sleep last night?” she asks casually, wringing out her cloth and plopping it on the table next to the old bowl.

“Enough.” He adds a dose of Ativan to keep seizures at bay and to keep Mikey relaxed, then begins to palpate his bandaged head, trying to feel for the depression and skull fracture at the right temple.

“Tell me it was more than four hours.”

“Yes, April, it was more than four hours.”

She relaxes after an awkward pause, and goes back to massaging Mikey’s right hand. “Casey is on his way with more supplies from the school infirmary. Should we still worry about getting antibiotics?”

“Hopefully not. Has he moved at all? Anything? Anything at all?” Donnie tries to not sound desperate, but he catches the sad look April gives him.

I don’t want pity, I want my brother to be okay.

“No response to anything,” she says softly. “He’s pretty much shut down for the duration.”

Donnie’s gut drops and freezes a little. Okay. Okay. But he really really needs to look at brain activity. They don’t have the proper equipment but he can probably build something. He can’t ask their human friends to steal anything like a pricey EEG headband, but an EEG is the only thing he can think of. Perhaps he can build one, or even modify the machine he kept using on April, at least it shows something in the brain, right? As he dribbles and sponges cool water over his little brother’s plastron, he keeps thinking. He keeps thinking.

“Donnie?” April seems very close now, right next to his face, and he jumps when he realizes she is. “You’re thinking very hard about something. Can I help?”

Donatello glances at her, then at Mikey’s head, then back at her. “Oh. Ohhh. April! Yes! Yes you can! Um. Can you...can you look into his mind? You know, his brainwaves?”

She blinks. “I think so. Probably. Yeah. What am I supposed to look for?”

“Responses,” he says eagerly. Lights. Anything, anything that would indicate he’s able to react to stimuli, external or internal.”

“You mean...to make sure he’s still...still there.”

Don’s head bobbles. “Exactly.”

She takes a deep breath. “I think I can handle that. Anything for Mikey.”

Donnie bites his lip. It feels like one of his mantras lately. Anything for Mikey.

Anything, Mikey.

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setoangel01-fanfiction · 7 years

Text

Farewell

Hurt - Chapter 30 (Previous Chapters)

Rated: T

Chapter Summary: The group leaves Northampton.

Fanfiction.net

A03

It was the next morning when Splinter finally drummed up the courage to approach them.

The four sat upon the various couches; April and Donnie with cups of coffee, Leo with a small half-eaten bowl of oatmeal, and Mikey with a plate of jellied toast of which he had barely nibbled on.

The sight was a welcomed one; them somewhat eating and being together was better than their previous aloofness and separation as of late. For a split second, he was uncertain if he wanted to break up this moment but something in his chest knew seeing them all in one room together was one that didn't happen too often…and there truly was no time like the present…

"Fa-amily..." Splinter spoke, cringing how his voice cracked for a moment.

All eyes went from the muted glow of the television to Splinter.

"Good Morning, Sensei." Leo spoke respectfully.

Donnie gave him a polite nod and smile and Mikey looked up to him as he approached.

"D-Did you need anything to drink or eat, Splinter?" April asked and while her demeanor seemed pleasant, there was an underlying cloud of despair that seemed to always be over her. She hid her pain well but the veil was quickly wearing thin. He worried deeply for her.

"No thank you, Miss April." The ninjitsu master's hands were shaking as he took a seat by the chair; reaching over to turn the television off before speaking words none of them fully expected.

"I-I think it's best that we leave soon."

The look plastered on everyone's face was of shock and awe, but there was an underlying question that reigned on most of their faces - Why?

It was so great Splinter felt compelled to answer it.

"After much meditation and reflection, I came to the conclusion that three months is enough. R-Raphael was never one to just lie down and give up. He would have strove on and continued fighting even in the worst of pain" Splinter's voice broke for a second as he said it, "…So we should do the same. I-I think it's about time that we went back to the city."

The only response Splinter got was a room filled with silence.

Donnie's head slightly lowered in acceptance.

There were so many things he wanted to say. Logical reasoning as to why that wasn't a good idea flooded his subconscious. They were out of shape for one. Going back to resume their normal life of patrol and ninjitsu training wasn't going to be easy or possible in their sad state. They'd lost weight, their diet not up to their normal healthy standards, and the sheer grief they were still dealing with was an almost astronomical hurtle to jump over… Donnie was unsure if it could even be done, yet his mouth stayed shut.

"Dad, I-I don't think we can. I don't know if that's a good idea!" Leo suddenly spoke; voice vibrating slightly as it came out. "We haven't trained in months. How are we going to continue our patrols and training after this? I - we…how?" Leonardo stammered, a nervous hand itching at his mask.

"We won't right away. I'm not asking that of you, I-I just think we need to go home and try to resume a normal life." Splinter explained, hands up in a placating motion."That's all I ask, but I will honor your suggestions as well."

April sat quietly, pinching frantically at the flesh of her thighs in an attempt to quell the rise of tears burning the back of her eyes. The news was not any she was expecting and truthfully, couldn't accept at this point. Being here, staying busy was the only way she was able to function and now going back? Having to resume school and life like nothing happened? She wasn't sure if that was even possible…

"Do you…really think that's best, Sensei?" Leonardo asked.

"...Yes." Splinter replied with shaky assurance, "I-I think it's time we started moving forward instead of remaining stagnant."

Leonardo took a deep breath; hating how his heart began palpitating painfully in his chest. Going back meant going home. Home meant way too memories of Raphael. All his belongings gathering dust; room empty and unused. It would hit home that Raph was really gone and never coming back. Left with tattered remains of a life taken far too soon.

"Is this because of the crime wave happening back in the city, Sensei?" Donatello spoke for the first time; careful to notice how Mikey leaned closer to him as if seeking comfort or reassurance. He placed his arm over the youngest brother's shoulders in hopes that would be enough for now.

"Partly, yes. Crime has run rampant but that's not the only reason. We need to regroup, retrain, and move on all in time. I think going back home would be the first step. We'll still take it slow but I think we've been here long enough." Splinter answered calmly, stretching a paw out to caress Mikey's shaking shoulder.

The youngest was more or less in a daze; vision locked onto his lap as he listened to the conversation going around him. There were no thoughts, only pain that echoed into every fiber in his body. Leaving this beautiful place and all its distractions would be next to impossible; especially leaving behind Raph. Mikey suddenly began shaking and Donnie suddenly wrapped his arms around him as hot tears began leaking down the youngest turtle's face.

"Mikey…" April gasped slightly as the youngest began sobbing into his genius brother's chest.

"I'm sorry, my son, but I think it's for the best…" Splinter tried desperately to comfort him; getting off the chair and kneeling down next to him. Paws quivering slightly as they enveloped Michelangelo in a warm hug. "I believe it is what Raphael wants…I wouldn't be doing this if I did not believe it was the right thing to do, my son. I promise…"

"I-I-I know, dad…I just…" Mikey whimpered into Splinter's throat, "It's just gonna be hard to leave."

The room grew quiet except the sounds of Mikey's shuttering breath. It was a sober realization and acceptance of change none of which were completely willing to accept but knew it had to be done. A silence in which each of the occupants knew life from this moment wouldn't be the same; hadn't since Raphael's passing, and it was yet to change again.

A shift, a move in which signified with certainty the horrible reality that they lost a loved one and they had to go on without him. It was time to move on whether they wanted to or not. While their world had stopped three months ago, it didn't change the fact the world was still spinning, sun rising and setting, time ticking by with the hands of the clock. The calender days were indeed being checked off and seasons were changing - life went on regardless of the hell they were reluctantly thrust into.

Time didn't get to stop for those who grieve; it only made the passage of the time all the more painful.

As easy as it would be to give up; to live the remainder of their lives here in peaceful tranquility, it was not meant to be. There was a city that still required their services; needed their protection more than ever. Yes, indeed they would need to go on without a vital member to their team. Learn to fight without a fourth party there to count on; deal without their strong brother who was never afraid to run into a burning building; hold up the front, set off traps and always being the last one out. The one who watched their backs; muscled their way through all too many seemingly impassable obstacles.

None would lie - it would never be the same.

Raphael left this hole that would never be filled. An unmistakably viable asset they would realize its absence almost constantly. They would never be a complete team anymore; forcing them to learn to fight with only three instead of an even four. Tactics changing and shifting like grains of sand on a beach, learning to fill in Raphael's spot the best they could to account for the loss but it seemed impossible at this time to even fathom having to fight without him…

It was painful, horrible, but necessary at this point.

As soon as Mikey's cries ebbed away, Splinter relinquished his hold; moving his paw to lovingly wipe away the tears that still stained his youngest son's cheeks. The pain was visceral in the room. They were all hurting in ways they never expected to and to be honest, he knew it would never be easy.

"It will be difficult to leave, but we must."

"...I know, dad," Mikey sniffled, burying his face into his father's robes if only to hide his face for a moment. "It's what Raphie would want…"

Although true, it didn't make the accompanying pain any easier to take…

It was three days later when they finally finished packing.

Cleaning and preparing the house for future visits and making sure all their necessities were taken care of before they began packing up the Shellraiser. A few bags and boxes were pushed into the back; the squawk of the chicken's absence noted as they walked back and forth to and from the cabin. (April had reluctantly sold them to a distant neighbor when they knew the sewer nor her apartment were optimum places for the feathered creatures.)

It was particularly somber as Donatello assisted April in shutting off the water and generators. The genius packing up the remains of the chamber and gurney that housed Raphael's body for a time. Particularly hard to burn the sheet that covered him even if it had to be done.

"Is that everything?" April suddenly asked, breaking Donnie out of his painful memories.

"Yeah. I'm pretty sure. I'll walk around the cabin once more to make sure but I think that's about it." Donnie answered lowly as he closed the Shellraiser's backdoor and turned to look at the redhead behind him.

"Okay." she replied with a shrug before moving to the front to climb in the van.

Splinter and Leo were carrying a few blankets and pillows out as Donnie re-entered the cabin for the last time. Upon entering, he saw Mikey standing in the cusp of the living room; staring out at the interior of the cabin. At first, he ignored him in favor of making sure everything was in order but once he was done, Mikey had only moved toward the front door, looking out through the tattered screen.

"Mike?" Donnie asked, "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah…" the youngest muttered back.

"I-I need to lock up, Mike." Donatello replied, placing what he hoped was a comforting hand on his thinning shoulder.

"Oh. Okay." Mikey replied easily, slowly moving through the door and to the porch as Donatello pulled out the keys from a pouch to close up behind them.

Michelangelo silently continued down the stairs, his eyes drifting toward the large oak tree; the familiar plaque and mound of dirt underneath. A sight that he would never quite get used to. A place he spent so much time these last three months; a place that held so much pain and comfort at the same time… Bringing home the uncomfortable realization that his big brother was gone. Raphael. A brother he considered himself to be closest to was really never coming back…

Donnie had reluctantly passed Mikey and moved to the van. Hoping the youngest just needed a few more minutes and it appeared as if he was right when Mikey began to move toward the Shellraiser but as soon as he got to the side door, he stopped.

The youngest turtle stood there at the door for a long drawn out moment as he looked back upon the cabin, trees, lake, and again toward plaque and grave underneath the large oak tree. Everything inside of him didn't want to leave; downright refused to leave his big brother all alone here.

Yet another side could almost hear Raph telling him to go. To keep their promise to protect the citizens of New York; to go home and fulfill their childhood promises.

The group remained silent as Mikey suddenly moved; walking toward Raph's grave and no one dared utter a word or attempted to stop him.

Michelangelo fell to his knees in front of the stone; the smooth plaque etched with Raphael's name and the dates of his birth and death. A strange sight he still could hardly fathom. There was so much that felt unreal; a nightmare in which he hoped he'd soon wake up from...but a part of him accepted that it simply would never happen.

A shaking hand went to run a hand over the words and dates.

This was reality…and Raphael was really gone...

Without his permission, so many memories flooded in. Like a movie or picture book; these glimpses of happier moments. Four brothers growing up, being kids, and all the adventures it entailed. A beautiful time. Relative ease to spend their days running around, playing tag, swimming in the clean cisterns under Splinter's careful watch. Becoming ninjas; training, learning their weapons, and ultimately, how to fight as a team. Scattered flashes and pictures in his minds eye of times long since passed and never to truly be regained.

Mikey silently remembered Raphael.

A brother who would become his best friend; their various interactions ranging from full on brawl to being comforted and held by the red-banded terrapin when nightmares plagued his sleep. Arms open and understanding; never judging him as he curled up next to him in bed even in their later years. Raphael was always there. Mikey was still trying to accept the fact that he wouldn't be anymore. He'd gotten used and took for granted all those moments as well as their friendship that went beyond their brotherly one.

They had a bond few understood.

Raphael was the brother he could tell anything to without fear of being judged. Raph would happily take a punishment when they got caught goofing off or doing something particularly dangerous or even illegal in some cases. Of course, there were arguments and disagreements but at the end of the day, they were still brothers and best friends. Still as close as can be even if Raphael had a hard time saying it.

"I love you" was never much in Raphael's vocabulary. Neither was "Please" or "Thank You" but that's beside the point.

Mikey could count on one hand how many times he'd heard Raph say those three words at once and it was understandable the more you got to know him; wasn't much for words or long drawn out conversations at all. What Raphael flourished with though was his actions which always spoke louder than words. Raph didn't have to say he loved you because he showed it often in ways few understood.

Raph was the first one in, last one out.

Always watching your back and protecting you without you ever knowing it. He may say rude things to your face and his endless supply of sarcasm was only a defense against you seeing how much he truly cared. There was never a doubt that Raphael loved his brothers more than anything; than anyone…

…and now…it hurt like hell that now…he was gone forever.

That strong brother he relied on for most of his life was brutally ripped away; faded and disappeared like sand through the large gaps in his fingers. Lost adrift amongst these tsunami waves of grief and pain that seemed to multiply by the day. It was hard not to just allow it to suffocate him and drag him under its depths but the one thing that kept him adrift was Raphael.

Words spoken, friendship and love so visceral that allowing his grief to swallow him wasn't an option…because it was the last thing Raphael would want. Raph would want him to move on, to push forward without him. Wallowing in sorrow would not be approved and Mikey could even hear his brother's admonishing voice now.

"You'll be fine, Mike. Now stop yer cryin'!" were some of Raph's favorites and they seemed somehow fitting here.

Yes, it hurt.

It would always hurt.

There wasn't anything or anyone that could ever fill the spot Raphael left in their hearts and lives. Why would he even try? Yet, as much as his chest and mind ached with the reality his brother was dead; there was also a comfort in his memories. Knew that somewhere, Raph was still around; watching and protecting them from afar.

Mikey was certain of it.

Sure, he still wasn't exactly sure how he was going to move on; how any of them could fathom pushing throughout all of it in one piece but he knew they had to try.

It's what Raphael would want and he dared not let him down…

"I love you, Raphie." Mikey stated firmly, his voice refusing to crack as he brushed off a few specks of dirt that littered his brother's gravestone. There was more he wanted to say but found himself unable to say any more. He wanted to be strong; to make Raphael proud and for some reason, he knew Raph already was.

A final brush of his hand over the cool stone before Mikey stood to his feet. Staring silently at the spot his brother lay before gravitating toward the surrounding area. So lush and beautiful; serene and peaceful. Raph was lucky to be in such a place and Mikey hoped that whoever was in charge of his burial however long from now, would place him by Raph's side.

Michelangelo swallowed a thick lump; refusing to allow tears to fall right now. His lips wanted to say goodbye but it was just too final; too painful.

"See you later, bro." he said instead.

Without another glance back, Mikey swiftly walked to the Shellraiser and jumped in the back with his father and Donnie. Careful to avoid their eyes as he awaited the movement of the vehicle.

Once Mikey was in and everyone settled, Leo put the keys into the ignition and the vehicle came to life with a turn of the keys. The leader checked the mirror's position and put on his seat-belt. Then they were off.

April was silent as she fastened her seat-belt from her spot in the front passenger seat next to Leo. Desperate to hide her internal grief, the redhead pulled her hood over her head and turned to face toward the window where she could see her reflection. Looking beyond it, she was faced with the rear-view window; Northampton growing farther and father in the distance. Emotions rising in her throat, she buried her face in her sleeve and quietly sobbed. Silent tears streaming down her face as Northampton disappeared and if it was at all possible for her heart could break anymore - it did…

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