#bc it's ultimately pretty mediocre

[adelle-ein]

"but nazi wizard boy game is THE GAME OF THE YEAR" uh it's february and zelda is coming out this year

#and i bet other big aaa titles that i don't know about because i don't really keep up with big aaa titles much #this is not a superiority thing i just have exactly zero reflexes #you want to see me play elden ring or something? that would end poorly for all involved #but uh my POINT is that everyone is telling a lot of disingenuous lies about this game #i suspect it will be like the avatar movies. sell very well very high ratings have little to no lingering cultural impact #bc it's ultimately pretty mediocre #it isn't ruining anyone's life not to play mediocre mcgrayscale rpg #number 9000 (but this time with branding! and white supremacy!) #txt #(oh yeah isn't fucking FINAL FANTASY coming out this year too?? lol lying nerds gonna lie)

[ganondoodle]

was watching another totk video and through that found out what the reward is for completing koltins quests, honestly im not really surprised but also baffled and it really just shows, once again, that totk kinda does exactly what you shouldnt do in a sequel imo.. double down on all the bad stuff of the previous title

at this point i have talked about various problems in detail but i just keep realizing over and over just how much of the wrong lesson they seemed to take from botw, they recycled almost everything from botw by changing some paint or some words, made a giant game even bigger and filled it with boring and tedious busy work that has mediocre to insulting rewards EVEN MORE than botw

game too big and empty? make it TWICE as big, change barely anything about the map of the previous title and the new added map(s) is ONE biom that almost everywhere looks the same and even emptier with little to do

too many krogs? MAKE IT MORE and double down on the literally shit reward bc its the SAME just with one more stack of shit

too many shrines with short puzzles? ADD EVEN MORE and make them even shorter and easier to complete, alot of them not even involving a puzzle and multiple being an utterly out of place tutorial that could have been explained to you in a single text box

rewards in the overworld being mostly either a krog or a shrine which gets repetetive with shrines being ALOT and krogs being wayyy too many? add even MORE shrines and EVEN MORE krogs, but now add over a hundred of caves to it that all get repetetive after just a few of them and you only do them for a shrine or a currency you have to collect to get one cool looking but pretty bad to use armor set and a piece of cloth for your parasail that you can only use one of at the tiem and to switch have to go back to a specific NPC, theres ghost lights to collect which only serve to yet again buy one armor set from a set of NPCs and ar meaningless afterwards, the light roots dont require you to do anything but walk to them and the reward for finding them all is a "you did it" sticker that doesnt even stick (its useless)

weapons break too quickly? well make the weapons you can find even worse to force you to fuse a material to it so its at all usable BUT IT STILL BREAKS and when it does it breaks not JUST the weapon but ALSO a material, materials that you will need for now EVEN MORE EXPENSIVE armor upgrades too, weapons cannot be rewards anymore either bc they will always have to be fused with something to make them stronger bc none is strong on its own- this also applies to THE MASTERSWORD, something ALSO complained about that it still 'breaks' even after empowering it through the DLC in botw, and now it cant even BE empowered (bc no DLC) unless you fuse soemthing to it (to. the. MASTERSWORD.) EVEN THO EMPOWERIGN THE MASTERSWORD IS THE ENTIRE POINT OF ZELDAS ULTIMATELY MEANING- AND CONSEQUENCELESS SACRIFICE !!

the dungeons were to samey and simple? make them look different but keep the core structure (activate terminals in completely seperate from each other "puzzles", fight boss) while also makign them be even more skippable (climable walls, the ceiling jump ability- something the titans DIDNT have) with incredibly easy bossfights that end with an embarassing copy and paste scene that hits you over the head with long known and obvious information over and over

people didnt like how the story was so detached from everything in the present? well, make the story and the present EVEN MORE detached from anything in the present, so far in fact that there is literally no connection to it aside from zelda who is the only connective thread and is also only treated as such (she is as personality lacking as sonia as soon as shes yoinked into the past) and the suddendly and out of nowhere intruduced architecture and history that wasnt a thing in botw but is treated like it was always there

people didnt like how far botw was detached from all other zelda games? ok totk is not only FURTHER detached from those it also completely detached itself from its on predecessor :)

people didnt like the memory system? ok make it WORSE then, its a linear story now that you can ruin by seeing even one out of order, they are super short and dont give you anymore context to anythign than the things you could figure out yourself or were already told really, instead of giving you views into a characters personality you get to view a basic plot summary of a story that is so flavorless and predictable i knew what would happen from the start yet acts like its being vague and cool that i felt like i was beign treated like a literal toddler

too few enemy types? well, we will reuse the old ones EVEN MORE thant before over twice the map and the new ones that are there are either utterlly irrelevant to change up the gameplay or largely feel like the old ones just with a paint job (constructs), the griocks looked cool at first but are just a more annyoing version of the lynels (who feel like an actual duel, akin to a proper boss)

even the things that were adressed, or attempted to, didnt fully work, like the bosses ARE more unique, but also still so incredibly easy and ALSO have multiple duplicats just sitting around in the underground despite them being supposedly the root of the problems of the regions (i like refighting bosses, but id rather have a character that lets me choose ok i wann fight this one again and teleporte me into a vision or sth- also the most fun fights arent even part of it (koga) )

the rain complaint got a new effect type to counteract it, which ... doesnt work well, you need specific materials to make potions with that effect which you also need to upgrade the only armor set wit hthat effect that ONLY works once you upgrade it (i think ... i dont know how high i got it but if even the full upgraded set doesnt negate the rain effect i will not be surprised either lol) also it adds just yet another effect type that spams your inventory and you dont really need .... or i might be the only one that saw no value at all in the "attack up when hot" new type of effects bc it felt so specific and situational while also having a way better option (just make it a standard attack up thing?) at least in my eyes-

... ill stop here .... this got longer again didnt it O-o

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #totk #ganondoodles rants #YET AGAIN #aaaaaaand i wasted all my evening #this was supposed to be a half joking short post #but i keep getting into ranting #hhhhhhhhhhrrrrrrraaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[sunfish999]

The nitty gritty is watering down katara's character so she's just a meek girl ? Your lying If you really think that's the same character. The producers said they would take an axe to the main characters and that's where the show really suffers...also nothing is perfect people like you is why we get stuck with mediocrity

?? I finished episode 5 but what😭 how is katara just a meek girl, i feel like yes she has a little less rage but other than that she shows that shes smart and powerful and her own person? Explain what is watered down i feel like animation usually over-exaggerates facial expressions and voices for the most part, so i’m not surprised that katara has more subtle strength so far, and also the actress has a very kind face, but i think shes still able to show some of that anger. (I havent watched the water master fight yet so maybe thats where you’re talking about, so i cant speak on that)

Idk what taking an axe to the main characters means (like really cutting them apart? Cuz i doubt they would promote a show by saying its gonna be bad but who knows). But i feel like the characters are all pretty accurate with how they carry themselves, of course they’re younger so acting wont be perfect but i think the imperfections are what brings them to life. I know a lot of people hate the writing, i feel like it’s quite similar to the show? (Though its been maybe 3-4 years since i last rewatched it) and some lines especially from something previously animated are gonna sound awkward in real life, which is why generally i believe live actions arent necessary for any animation, though in this case i’m really enjoying just rewatching atla and my childhood be brought to life.

Nothing is perfect: ok i was using perfect mostly because i was very excited about it, of course i know theres things that could be changed to improve it but a lot of those things are impossible (like you cant get an actress thats EXACTLY katara and will make everyone happy, because shes a drawing) but overall, i think the landscapes come close to perfect (i’m just really into fantasy scenes and i think it’s so beautiful and impressive to see things like the omashu supply rail and the air temple come to life. And zuko’s boat looks so awesome and so accurate too.) And i thought the cgi looked slightly silly at first (especially air) but then i realized that we were always seeing drawings of aangs air in the animation which would look even stupider irl so i made my peace pretty quickly.

People like me is why we get stuck with mediocrity… hm. I feel like my opinion probably has nothing to do with what comes out on tv, especially because in this society haters have the real power, and you guys tearing it down are more likely to get it cancelled. I don’t think any production team takes an animated film or show and thinks ‘yea im gonna make this absolutely awful,’ (though i’m really not sure what they were thinking when making the pjo movie, its good as a standalone but they went so off course from the plot…) of course they’re all just trying to fit what they think into the show and express their own opinions, which are ultimately going to be a lot different than some people watching it.

Overall, ok i haven’t watched the og in years, so my memory on comparing each episode of the show to the live action is not going to be at the level of others (which i think boosts the enjoyability 100x over). But as i watch it, i remember tons of parts of the animation, and it makes me super happy that it has the same air as the show, albeit slightly more serious because they can’t fit all the funny filler episodes (if they ever created a live action lost appa episode i would lose it that cannot happen).

Maybe i sounded rude in my original post (i changed it quickly bc it was very angry at first lol) so sorry i know you’re all entitled to your opinion, it’s just i was SO EXCITED and then checked the tag on tumblr only to see that everyone hated it… i always feel inferior to people who really like films etc because i tend to enjoy things that other people hate, (like i really enjoyed the avatar way of water movie even if it was super long, and i know people DESPISED it). So maybe i seem like someone who is satisfied with mediocrity, and maybe i am, i focus mostly on the backgrounds and beauty of movies because im really into art and much less on acting and script (though i can appreciate beautiful characters, i was Blown Away by live action suki and hair down sokka my jaw dropped fr) i agree i am fairly simple to please in terms of this type of thing.

SORRY THIS IS GETTING QUITE LONG IM SURE U WONT READ IT ALL but i hope ur finding joy in life since live action atla is obviously not doing it for u

#avatar the last airbender #atla #JUST MY OPINION #take it all with a grain of salt #im quite bad at wording things sometimes

[hanarutos]

i know we (understandably) focus on naruto and sasuke and their relationship to each other as the main driving force of the story. and that's because it is. but sometimes i kind of re-remember how much naruto's other relationships are important to him. like naruto is a series about friendship and love. it is through the love of iruka, gaara, neji, rock lee, sakura, the rest of the konoha 12, his parents, jiraiya, kakashi, that naruto is able to become as strong as he is. GRANTED this is coming from me the world's biggest jiraiya minato kakashi hater. I think sometimes some of us get so hung up on the slightly lackluster execution of some of Naruto's bonds (ex. does he ever even talk to Ino?) that we forget the overall theme which is about friendship!!!!! Friendship saves naruto!!!! Love saves naruto!!! and it's by extending that same love to sasuke that sasuke is saved as well!!!

idk like sometimes i get really annoyed about the fact we are supposed to accept that minato cared about naruto when he chose to orphan him, or that jiraiya cares about naruto despite not talking to him for his first 12 years of life, but even despite these sloppy executions at times, i can't deny the overarching theme makes me so emotional. like naruto wanted nothing but love and he got it. sure his love from the village is largely conditional, but he also got it from actual individual friends who care about him outside of his status as konoha's hero. I do also wish so so bad that instead of making it seem like the village is just cool now and cured naruto of his issues we got into how repressed he is, but it's not like he has no real important relationships.... idk!!!! i just. i forgot that naruto as a series is about love! it's not all about naruto being vilified and then suddenly accepted out of nowhere. there are people who don't do that to him. would it be better if the villagers hypocrisy was acknowledged? certainly. but it's not like shikamaru started being narutos friend cus he saved everyone. its not like gaara became narutos friend bc he was powerful -- it was because he finally felt understood. and then for all the parts of naruto that almost nobody understands, sasuke does. idk!!!

like its so easy to read narutos relationships with his peers as shallow because kishimotos pacing and development of the ensemble cast is pretty mediocre but ultimately.....friendship wins!! love wins!!! i hope naruto gets a therapist and gets through his repression issues but like he is objectviely way better than he was as a young child! yippee!!!

#hana.txt #meta #kinda #this is basically me being like im done with my hater era!!! and everyone being a hater u wont EVER understand naruto like me!!!

[xthelastknownsurvivorx]

Freshman Roommates!au

A hc of mine from about a year ago loosely based off of the setup of tharntype bc my current WIP is long and nowhere near done

Alex, Henry, and Pez are all freshmen, Nora is a sophomore, June is a senior (Bea, too, but she’s not in this fic)

It’s second semester Alex’s freshman year, and he has a new roommate- Henry. This is b/c his first sem roommate is studying abroad this semester, and so the new British transfer student is filling his spot.

At first, Alex doesn’t mind Henry. He seems decent enough, maybe a little quiet, but manageable. His sleep schedule is like Alex’s, aka practically nocturnal, yet he somehow can get up at 7 for all his music classes. Alex is happy to sleep through Henry leaving quietly in the mornings. They don’t eat together, but, honestly, Alex wasn’t looking for his new roommate to be his best friend.

However, this all changes in a few weeks.

Alex was relatively well-known and popular among the student body at the small college. While everyone who had made it through admissions was smart, he had a certain charm and way with people that got him invited to parties. It was a pretty logical transition from being prom king and valedictorian senior year of high school. It made sense.

The way that he suddenly began to be compared to Henry does not.

Henry is a perfect blonde-haired, blue-eyed (and god his eyes are blue) well-mannered man with a British accent. He’s an English-Music double major, sentimental but sharp. Suddenly, Alex finds himself being compared to Henry, hears girls giggling over which of the two of them is better, and, inevitably, it’s also Prince-fucking-Charming who wins out.

Alex goes on a tirade to June and Nora about white male mediocrity and the fucked internet phenomenon of how people love vaguely attractive, seemingly unproblematic white men regardless of their talent and how it’s so different for poc.

Henry doesn’t even seem to care that he’s stolen Alex’s popularity, doesn’t care about the girls who stare at him and it’s infuriating.

Not only that, [some misunderstanding Alex has where Henry seems to say something mean to him]

(It’s at this point that Alex starts to treat Henry more coldly and increasingly reaching an arch-nemesis status.)

But when a girl asks him about Henry after hooking up, Alex is done.

He storms up to the residential services desk and asks to switch roommates.

But it’s too late in the semester for a room change. Either Alex has to move out, find someone to switch with, or he’s stuck with Henry.

The first is not an option - his mom made it clear he couldn’t move off campus until at least sophomore year.

The second, he tries. But his mixed floor is half occupied by girls. Then there are the guys he’d never room with. Several options present themself, but they all ultimately fall through for some reason or another.

However, there’s no way he’s gonna keep living with Henry.

Which means it’s war.

Alex is determined to drive Henry out of the room and feels no remorse given [the misunderstanding].

Henry is incredulous at Alex’s first attempt to drive him out of the room.

“Am I offending you? Sorry I’m not obsessed with you like everyone else. I know that must be confusing for you.” “Do you know what? I think you are. … Only a thought. Have you ever noticed I have never once approached you and have been exhaustively civil every time we’ve spoken?”

“Wales, I want you out of this room.”

“I will not.”

They glare at each other for a good long time.

And then it’s on.

It all boils over at a floor event where they (read: Alex’s clumsiness) end up destroying something.

They’re both called into the RDs’ (Zahra + Shaan) for a stern lecture: Zahra with her profanities and Shaan with his long-suffering demeanor.

Eventually, it ends in them punished with six hours of community service, spread over three Saturdays.

The first is full of sworn hate and everything like that. But then at the end of it, either the bus back breaks down or they get on the wrong one/off at the wrong stop/etc. Basically, they’re in a Situation™ and have to work together to get out of it.

Turns out, Henry’s not so bad? (Almost dying together will do that.)

Also, he has a surprisingly sharp wit that Alex kind of enjoys.

At the end of it, Alex calls some sort of truce by inviting Henry to a party (maybe thrown by his frat?) Henry isn’t keen on parties, but Alex insists (as does Pez, later), so he goes.

Then it’s the Kiss™

Idk about Alex having a sexuality crisis or not but yeah

And suddenly Alex can’t get enough of Henry

Honestly, no idea about a villain or particular plot beyond this, I just liked the setup of the story

but basically they do the same enemies-to-friends-with-benefits-to-lovers thing as in canon and their dorm neighbors end up hating them for different noise complaint reasons ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

#rwrb #rwrb hc #red white and royal blue #alex claremont diaz #first prince #henry fox mountchristen windsor #rwarb #rwrb fic #rwarb spoilers #alex and henry

[hylialeia]

Hello! so i love your blog and i've been reading some of your posts but not all of them so sorry if i missed this question and your answer. I've been reading a lot about asoiaf and different theories and aslmor everyone agrees that daenerys is going mad and that george praised emilia for her job and implied that dany would burn down everything in the books as well. I've been really wary bc i believe george is going to turn her mad or villain as well but i would love to hear your theories and if you believe she's going to be like in the show. thank you!

well first, thank you! I've touched a bit on the "mad queen Dany" theory in the past, though Tumblr's search function is a mess and even if you navigate my asoiaf-meta tag, it's probably pretty far in the back.

that said, I pretty famously detest the mad!Dany theory, not just in that I think it would be a horrible creative choice for Doylist reasons ("woman in power goes insane" is an extremely tired trope and one that I rarely see done well), but also because it flies in the face of ASOIAF's own internal narrative---a narrative I see as being ultimately hopeful, particularly as it relates to characters like Daenerys (heavily associated with compassion, humanity, and heroism).

the show barely factors into my interpretations or predictions for the actual series; GRRM has specified several times on his notablog that the creative decisions made by the showrunners and writers of GOT had a sort of "butterfly effect" on the outcome, resulting in a story that's incredibly different (or "way, way, way, WAY different") from his own. he's always been very professional and respectful about all of it, and complimenting Emilia's performance I think is merely an extension of that; she's an actress who delivered a good performance---mediocre writing and audience disappointment notwithstanding.

Daenerys "burning everything down" in the books I believe refers more to her destruction of the slavers in Essos (which TWOW will no doubt see the dial turned up to 11 on that count), a conflict with Young Griff/Aegon that escalates to disastrous levels, and her literally roasting the army of the dead when she joins the War for the Dawn.

Dany's arc is all about the ups and downs of fire; it's powerful and warm, but also massively destructive. I imagine GRRM wants to show both sides of that before the ultimate showdown, where warmth and light win out against the cold.

#I won't put this in the vs tag since it deals with show content #but yeah basically the whole mad!dany plotline there was bullshit #asoiaf #asoiaf meta #daenerys targaryen #anti got #also always worth mentioning: no matter what happens with dany I feel confident she's the hero of the final battle #which is the fight with the others... not the fight for the throne #ask #anonymous

[allaganexarch]

omg i just realised you're in law school?? can i ask what prompted you to pursue a (i presume) 2nd degree? i am nearing 30 and considering going for a 2nd degree as well but i'm super reluctant haha, would you mind sharing something about your experience? are you doing like a master's, did you choose it to get a specific job you are aiming for?

Ah, I would be happy to talk about my questionable life choices lol! For law school in the US if you want to actually practice you get what's called a Juris Doctor (JD) degree, which is a professional degree, and you have to have completed a Bachelor's to pursue it. People who want to like, specialize in something will sometimes get an LLM (Master of Law), but generally do that after the JD, even though a JD is technically "higher" than a Master's. Absurdly long story of my Journey TM under the cut lol

I tell people law school was a response to the pandemic even though that's not really true bc I don't want to get into the years-long insane series of thought processes that led me here lol. I only have a Bachelor's degree (in German/Music) and never intended to pursue anything beyond that. I'm naturally intelligent and did very well in school without trying, but I never had any particular interest in pursuing a higher education and pretty much just did it because that's what you're supposed to do. Looking back I feel quite embarrassed that I didn't fully appreciate the value of my education, even though I obviously wasn't doing it on purpose LOL. I got a lot of value out of college in general but it's frankly amazing that I did fine in my classes given my general self at the time. Fortunately I went to one of those schools where ppl hear the name and go oooOoooo woOOooOOow and don't generally care about my mediocre GPA.

I never really had a clear idea of what I wanted to do with my life, and I don't feel I'm one of those people who has a Calling TM. I'm good at and enjoy a variety of things, and I have a hard time being happy doing the same thing for a long period of time. I worked as a professional actor/singer when I graduated, and even within that field I became unhappy when I did too much of the same kind of work. Ultimately, as I grew into myself, I became frustrated and disillusioned with the industry in general, and with how I was being forced to live my life. I so rarely got to do anything I genuinely enjoyed, the work that paid best was utterly soul-sucking, and the general attitudes of the people around me esp. towards maintaining one's appearance were very unhealthy for me. They're unhealthy for everyone of course, but I was trying to recover from viewing my body in a negative light, and being around ppl with these attitudes made it pretty much impossible.

So I was already sort of looking for a new path of some sort a few years ago, but what I didn't realize at the time was that I had completely lost faith in myself and my abilities, and was selling myself incredibly short. I tried to do a bunch of dumb shit which obviously wouldn't be fulfilling in any way, tried to reshape my life into something bearable, and failed miserably several times. I was in fact halfway through discarding another failed attempt and taking up a new one when the pandemic hit. I ended up having to move back in with my mother, and what we all hoped would be a couple of months turned into Whatever This Is. So I found myself with a lot of time to think lol. And while it was a very difficult experience, I kept telling myself, whatever you do, no matter how bad it is, you need to actually think ahead for five fucking seconds and try to do something that will actually work, you know lol, because otherwise you're just going to end up in the same place again.

Law school started as a whim like any other; I was having lunch with my mom, and she mentioned offhand that she thought I should go to law school (she didn't go but she has a lot of lawyer friends). And I was feeling just insane enough that day that I was like yeah idk maybe I should. So I went home and was like okay how does one go to law school. I looked up a practice LSAT, took it knowing absolutely nothing about the LSAT, and did EXTREMELY well. So I thought, well. Huh. I need something to do w my life so I stop wanting to eat drywall, why not study for the LSAT lol, can't hurt.

And it just sort of kept going from there. Practicing for the LSAT gave me a sense of purpose, applying to law schools gave me a sense of purpose, and that sense of purpose enabled me to start slowly improving the horrible circumstances I was in. I didn't know how anything would shake out and to be honest I didn't particularly care at that point. Looking back I think I really had no hope for the future, and I was pretty crazy and didn't really feel like I'd be able to live very much longer. I didn't envision myself as a lawyer really, more as a law student lol. Schools have a lot of free resources and people who want to help you, and even as crazy as I was I felt I was in a much better place to take full advantage of those things than I had been in undergrad, in order to achieve SOMETHING. I wasn't really worried about what that might be.

So, I vowed to myself that whatever happened, I would really try, not just in school but to build a better future for myself. I did not arrive here in a good mental state, to say the least lol. And going back to school brought back a LOT of painful memories from my previous time in school when, as I mentioned, I was infinitely crazier. As just a couple of random examples, I was sort of toying with the idea of trying to learn a new language, and realized that I was still holding onto this intense guilt about the mental breakdown I had while taking a Russian class in college. One of my professors told me that I was an amazing writer, and I realized no teacher had ever told me that before. I had these insane moments sitting in class where I would get emotional because I was just so happy to be there, in spite of absolutely everything. I stopped regretting all of my past mistakes, because I genuinely think, no matter what horrible things I've done, I would do them all again if they would bring me here. My favorite professor literally saved my life, and is probably the only person in the world who could have successfully convinced me to go to therapy. I can't really even wish I'd done any of this sooner, because I know without a doubt that I wouldn't have been ready.

There are definitely some challenges to being back in school after so long. I remember feeling especially when I was around my friends who were in grad school that if I had to, like, write a long-ass paper or something, I just wouldn't be able to do it lol, like I'd just be so pissed that I had to do some arbitrary assignment. But it should be noted that I, like, despise philosophy-type subjects and things with no practical application, and always felt like I was bullshitting my assignments to make them longer. Not only do I love law school assignments because they are about applying the law to a set of facts (which may be made up but still have real-world relevance), but I always have a LOT to say, and am always struggling to make my papers SHORT enough rather than dragging out my dumbass takes to meet the minimum lol. It's a lot of work, but generally it's work I actually WANT to do, which makes all the difference.

I definitely also feel a bit of a disconnect from most of my fellow students. I think this is partially an age thing and partially a life experience thing. Like, for example, I had a series of hilarious conversations with ppl a few weeks back bc one of my classmates was like "where do you go?? you leave class so fast?" and i was like ?????? when class is over you get to leave that's the deal??????

And I was talking to my fave professor about this and she was like yeah that's definitely a difference of being a little older, you're probably just not in the same mindset that they are. Which is definitely true, and worth keeping in mind. It's not a big deal really but it can be very isolating if you don't feel like you can relate to your classmates on that level. I sometimes get a little :( because I don't usually have a hard time talking to people but I'll just have the most insane interactions w some of my classmates and have to talk myself down like it's okay it wasn't you the other person was the one acting weird LOL. Also, for me at least, I definitely have a little bit of a 'you can't tell me what to fucking do' attitude sometimes LOL, and will get really irritated when professors keep us over time or make us do something pointless. That may just be my sweet personality, but I think in general having been out of school for awhile and also being a bit older, I'm MUCH less tolerant of trifling bullshit than when i was younger LOL. Generally I think there's a lot LESS trifling bullshit to deal with in law school bc there's just so much that's genuinely important to learn? But something to keep in mind.

But god there are SO many benefits! Like, as I mentioned, I'm a naturally intelligent person, but it's actually terrifying how much my mind had slowed down over the past few years. I've had SO many moments here where I was like oh my god, I'm stupid, I'm just stupid and I can't understand this-- and then I was like okay sweaty :) have you considered taking a nap and maybe you'll calm down :) lol but you get my point. Learning new things in a structured environment where you literally have to do the work I think is so beneficial especially at this particular age, since most people get pretty settled into their ways around 30, and personally I don't particularly like being set in my ways and want to always be growing and improving and pushing myself. Every aspect of my life has improved noticeably since I've been here, my physical and emotional and mental health, my memory, my writing, my personal relationships--everything.

BUT that is a direct result of all the work I've put in, because I did this at the right time for myself, and at a point in my life when I'm able to truly appreciate the value of a good education and all the benefits and resources that come with that. So, I would say that if you're in the right mindset to go back to school, it's absolutely 1000% worth it. But if you feel like, 'I don't want to do this, this is a waste of time and will make me miserable,' then I'd say wait it out a little more. There might come a day when you're like, wow, I'm so ready. Or you might think, I can't believe I was gonna go to grad school for That TM that would have been insane, and want to go for something else lol. I think we're so conditioned not to listen to our intuition that we don't realize a lot of the time our gut instinct will tell us whether something is the right move or not!

Wow this was long lol, thank you so much for reaching out, friend, and I hope some of this was mildly helpful or entertaining! I wish you the best in your ventures, and of course I'm always happy to talk more!

#personal #exciting tag for answered asks #i write this as i'm actively procrastinating my work lol #but it's spring break i'm allowed #grad school nonsense

[dxisiesdukes]

introducing our resident mean girl/bad bitch...well re-introducing. it’s me kip again (friendly reminder, they/them), this is miss deiji and her updated intro and sorts. i’ve realized i’ll have to go update some of their profiles too. but here is her profile, kprofile, and pinterest! bellow is her organized info!

—— welcome to infinite entertainment! it's HWANG ‘DAISY’ DEIJI, who is the LEADER of BRAVEHEART. i’ve heard whispers that the 27 year old is pretty INDEPENDENT but lowkey HEDONISTIC. also, doesn’t he remind you of SEO SOOJIN ?

pre-debut

she was born april 11th, 1997 to hwang song-dok and choi nanseolheon in seoul, south korea

while her parents were very successful (her mother a surgeon and her father a high merit professor/author and a big active contributor to academia). she comes from chaebol old money as well that dates back to her family's original settlement in the centralized and urban area of seoul.

she’s the oldest of four, and very much treated like so. her parents put a lot of emphasis on her role as the eldest daughter. she learned a lot of her ‘homemaking skills’ early.

she and her parents have a tumultuous relationship, they can be a bit over bearing even now on wanting her to be successful. once ‘the littles’ were born, deiji was casted off, left to meet high expectations. her mother seemed to be in competition with her girls while doting on the youngest and only boy. leaving daisy to make sure they had their basic needs. at times even his, her parents so caught up with spoiling that actual parenting took a back seat.

this pushed her need for successful rebellion. she became her own woman and going by her own rules while her parents struggled to reign her in. sneaking out a lot and engaging in things much too high above her age level.

she grew up fast taking care of them and herself, and in turn lost a lot of having a childhood making sure her siblings had theirs.

from a young age she was forced to be a role model and the pinnacle of perfection, even when she was slightly mediocre in a lot of things. this led to strenuous schedules and constant practice, deiji pushing for a perfection in things she couldn’t exactly reach.

she was enrolled in ballet, voice lessons as well as some instrumental lessons (guitar, piano, and violin) around the age of 5 or 6 or so. there were often etiquette lessons as well

her time in ballet led to a lot of issues with her body image, even worse when she was continuing the practice abroad. she developed body dysmorphia and bulimia early on in her ballet career, though over her years as an idol she’s been working on a better weight image and relationship with food. while she found so many issues wrong with her coming from ballet, she did adore it and found it as an escape from the constant competition her mom had her placed under

when she entered her last few years of middle school she was sent to study at brighton college in brighton, england. at brighton she began a lot of healthy and unhealthy habits. she found a love of theater and and singing, and even gaming (now becoming her favorite past times), but also other things like taking drugs to cram for school, and smoking cigarettes (a habit she’s working on quitting)

she graduated brighton at age seventeen, her parents instantly pushed for her to do something to ‘make them proud’ bc they were tired of her sitting on her ass after graduating and college wasn’t an option, she did well in academia but had no desire to continue it.

in her need to become better than ‘them’ (her parents) and prove them wrong she went for the thing that would sate her needs to be desired and yearned for, while keeping her in a fast pace life style of scheduling that she’d grown used to growing up. coming across a national audition video for vibe productions on youtube, deiji submitted a video of her doing ballet, a performance from her dance days, and a small clip of her singing. she ultimately was asked to come audition for the company and landed a spot as a trainee.

her trainee days she fell into the natural routine of taking over being ‘the top spot’ she was ‘good’ at everything but all the other girls excelled in those categories. and yet they seemed cower beneath her, leaving daisy to take on the ‘regina george’ persona early on. she pushed to be SEEN by the company

a big issue with deiji during her trainee days is that she was ‘good’ at everything, but not outwardly phenomenal, something she dealt with growing up. 

at debut

debuted at 19 (trained for a little less than a year and has the shortest trainee period out of the group which adds to fans distastes to her as leader and center as they don’t feel like she’s worked as long or as hard as the other girls, her pretty face being the reason she made her positions in the group.)

she’s a lead vocalist and lead rapper, visual and center in the group, official place holders would be jennie, onda/aisha and karina roles, mostly center just for visual effect 

while she won them over with her striking visuals, often deiji was painted as the ‘mean girl’ before she ever really opened her mouth. netizens often commented on her rbf or the way she walked or talked, and in most moments she was the target of ridicule, fake bullying scandals and the works

despite that, she gained a quick crown for being a good leader over all, and quickly after was well known for her brother also joining the industry following her own debut

during career 

she often did and still does get ridiculed for the family she came from. often said that she’s a shit idol and only debuted bc she was pretty and rich

one thing about deiji is that she is a PERFORMER, this comes from her theater background and is essentially why she ended up in her spot in braveheart as her ability to put on a show with more hip hoppy moves (due to bravehearts concept and ballet/contemporary/lyrical being her only dance experience) overshadowed her lack of skills.

her expressions and sensualness when performing is what she’s known for today as an idol. as well as being extremely poised and ‘naturally idol’ trained. this meaning her a ability to connect with fans, cameras, staffs etc. she’s also notated for her perfect posture and the way she holds herself in schedules. 

but the constant spotlight that came with more negatives than positives daisy found herself in the secret party scene. there have been multiple instances where blurry photos of her in some dim seoul night club has surfaced and her slight addiction to c*caine began to emerge.

even still daisy put up a brave face, just as before with her family, even if she had to squeeze bl*od from her palms in order to make it through.

over time she’s grown to be very vocal about any mistreatment and things that her group gets, will address a hate comment and will not let hosts/mcs ask inappropriate questions, speak up about inappropriate styling for younger members etc etc.

during her career as her friendship with michelle became public she had been dubbed the dragon princess to her ice queen, and boy does she live up to that title

infinite tour

key moments of the infinite tour could include a big scandal that was narrowly avoided, deiji was photographed dancing proactively with another woman at a club on tour, and while the photos didn’t get much of a chance to circulate, she ended up in the hotseat with company and truthfully still slightly is.

this lead to her having doubts about herself and the group, feeling as if her insidious need to not feel anything and run away from her problems through booze, sex and drugs was ruining the group’s reputation.

there were many attempts to get sober on tour, but most if not all fell through. she’s still working on it.

it was also during the tour where she crossed a critical line with her childhood best friend, coming to terms with her sexuality and feelings for her. this is also pushing some sort of revelation when it comes to the type of idol she actually wanted to be.

during the tour she debuted in her first official subunit v!olet with a groupmate and a tidal member, the group has a rebellious, creepy, rock sound and allows her to explore her other talents when it comes to her ability to play instruments.

she also released two solo eps both on her birthday each year of the tour xoxo and lowlife princess

canons/personality tidbits & quirks

she’s an aries (sun), sagittarius (moon), and leo (rising) (i am not sorry for this full fire big three)

26 years of age

often the english fronter and mom of the band, fans love her british accent.

she’s gonna take care of you, no one is sick or sad around her.

she can come off as a bit cold, or head strong but the independence she has is the reason for it, she’ll be a softie for the right people. often goes viral for when she goes off on staff/stands up for the treatment of her members and other female idols. 

super active on the braveheart socials and often does vlives just vibing to music, cooking/eating and gaming

bisexual, liberal, feminist queen, openly supportive to all demographics out loud.

she cares a LOT a LOT about her image, not in a pristine and perfect way, but the perception of herself to others. she’s often well dressed/put together and is rarely seen outside with a hair out of place even if dressed down, poised when sitting, eats “prettily” etc etc.

when things get mad mentally she tends to go on benders especially when touring as foreigners may not know her, i apologize she sucks. thought like i said before, she was working on this. she’s already known as infinites party girl and sometimes it does bother her.

her favorite games are fortnite, animal crossing, cod and valorant (very original i know) she also has a segment where she plays scary games on console and pc. she travels constantly with her switch and laptop and headset.

as much as ballet was traumatizing to her she still finds it as a place of comfort and often practices new and old routines if she has time

she is currently in some form of relationship thing with her best friend

she is the global brand ambassador for porsche, tiffany & co. and chanel , is the only foreign ambassador of porche

fans find her british accent endearing but notes that her demeanor changes drastically if she’s speaking in english

overall deiji is a very cher horowitz type of girl. call it a coping mechanism or her true evil she doesnt care as long as she wins the game. she struggles a lot internally but it takes a special type of person to see that underneath her mask. its when the mask slips that she turns to other means of gratification but she is trying hard to move forward with out the opinions of others weighing so heavily on how she lives her life. in truth she loves being an idol but is on a long bus to self destruction. picture her as your hedonistic socialite. the smile is always gleaming but there’s a sinister glint in her eye, if you don’t hold a special place in her heart. she’s known to have a knack for treating others like they’re beneath her even if she doesn’t intend to which pays homage to how deeply ingrained her socialite life is into her.

updates post tour

deiji is now working on some more solo work that is going to be a big deal for her. 

she’s begun working on her relationship with food as well as drugs somewhat seriously.

she plans on doing more twitch streams for the fans and getting back into gaming on her channel now that she has the time and her set up back

she’s solidifying her sexuality and plans on taking that ultimate plunge with her best friend. 

diligently preparing for v!olet’s next comeback.

she actually kind of finds the reality tv aspect kind of cool and is wondering what type of interest this will bring for her groups and the others.

more updates as the post tour plot goes on!

connections/wanted plots

♡ almost is never enough; this an ex-situationship plot, (m/f/nb)  they were on their way to really being something but it just never quite got there, very much the one that got away.

♡   needy; growing up deiji was very much unable to be a child or person with ‘needs’, this included affection and things due to her parents neglect, it kind of made her suck in a way, but she does /can be needy and you allow her to be comfy enough to do that for her, this causes her to be attached to you.

♡ popular; your muse takes their craft seriously, and the idea that someone slipped through the cracks possibly for their connections makes you wary of deiji as an artist and idol. It’s led to some tension that’s starting to pour into the public world more and more as it festers

♡ when the party’s over; deiji knows when she spirals i can be a bit hard, not only on her but on you as her friend as well, and yet you’re always there to pick her up when she’s past out over a toilet. (seonhwa)

♡ god is a woman; daisy has a number of destructive coping mechanisms and you are one of them. whenever the going gets tough she finds herself at your door, in your bed, in your head. its all sweet nothings off course, and maybe you hang on every word she says, only for you to become nothing more than a simple acquaintance when its all done. but beneath it all she appreciates you being there, being and option and though she may not show it she considers you a backbone for her when hers begins to waver.

♡ industry bff/childhood bff (somi)

♡ teacher/mentor that helps her hone in her skills

♡ mother figure (since her mother was barely one at all)

♡ a frenemy that see right through her ‘perfect’ bs

muse overviews and analysis

♡. character study #1 - 'the trouble of youth' ♡. character study #2 - 'the stage' ♡. the muse as zodiac signs ♡. favorite stage outfits: blackpink / everglow / aespa  ♡. general task #1 ♡. character study #3 - 'the idol': photoset 1 / 2 / 3 / analysis & viral moments ♡. through the eras - hwang ‘daisy’ deiji ♡. playlist #1 - diary of a mad ballerina  (subject to be replaced/updated) ♡. muse tag+

#infinite:intro #incase you were wondering #she's still the worst^tm #as i said on kai's everyone's profiles will be getting the necessary updates too! #tw: bulimia mention #tw: blood mention #tw: body image issues #tw: body dismorphia

[glassautomaton]

incomprehensible lightlament tagger here so I feel obligated to defend my honor.

I think for me it comes down to 1) a lot of the (especially earlier) senior staff writing kind of sucking objective ass but then having these brief flashes of the most intriguing shit you’ve ever seen in there. mediocre stories with a great deal of potential are like crack to me (at least when it comes to actually making fanwork) bc they get my braingears turning as to how to expand on them (+ of course the handful of fucking brilliant senior stuff tales hidden in the clutter that will fuck you up forever that work precisely bc of the notoriety of the characters theyre about and that, I suspect, were created by people who felt very similarly to me) and 2) I just. rlly like the foundation as a setting and like pretty much every goi-associated character the senior staff all ultimately offer some unique perspective on foundation doctrine; clef is interesting bc of his shitty self-loathing deflection complex motivated by his past on in the goc & the fact he doesnt even work here of his own accord (see: the vanguard side of the no return canon for some pretty cool recent writing on this), light is interesting bc of her determination to hold on to a veneer of morality despite the general fuckedness of everything which, given the prominence of her being in some way entangled with the o5s, can turn her downright hubristic in some tales (see: the new faces splintercanon on the resurrection hub for this). which isnt to say original characters cant be that but having these established fairly iconic characters can be a useful shortcut and with the sheer context of everything that already exists on these guys you can usually end up somewhere very interesting a lot quicker than if you were to build your own characters from the ground up.

I will say though I immensely respect the notion of just straight up not caring about any of the big name characters, I kind of envy you if I’m honest. I think like stroytelling enjoyer motivations aside part of the senior staff’s appeal does also stem from people especially in fandom being more willing to engage with stories that have characters they’re already emotionally attached to in them which, y’know, isn’t a sin, people like what they like, but I do think people miss out on some real bangers hidden on the wiki because of it. I recognize I am part of the problem here, but, yknow, I dont control what the brain attaches itself to.

anyway, cheers! sorry again about the lightlament, i will say that isnt normal youve just accidentally stumbled into a mutuals circle of people who are categorically not normal about dr light. spiders georg etc

I think I get what you’re trying to say here, and again, it’s largely similar to why I wanted to write Resurrection-family articles in the first place. There is a bit of a difference though: I read Resurrection when I was a lot younger, when it first came out. Back then I hadn’t really been as discerning or critical of what I read on the wiki, so I either didn’t notice or didn’t care about the flaws in the story, and I liked it pretty uncritically. Even back then I wanted to write for it, and years later, when I decided to write for the Wiki, I still did. At that point, I noticed a lot more issues with Resurrection on re-read, but I was already attached to the canon. It was really influential to how I viewed the wiki, so in spite of its flaws it’s important to me as an SCP writer. These days, though, I’m probably far too critical to get attached to things in the same way, hence my general apathy towards staff stories (though it might be worth noting that even back then, I found senior staff stories annoying as I outlined in a previous post).

I also understand your second point about the staff representing interesting aspects of the setting. As a writer, though, in a lot of cases I just kind of figure “why bother with all that baggage when I can just write my own character that I’ll enjoy writing more and is better tailored to my needs?” And, again, these characters just seem too ill-defined to get a good bead on. That sort of falls back to the whole “why bother with wrangling all that when I can make my own character.” I wrote Iris because I find her whole deal as an established SCP to be interesting at a basic level, even if I find the original SCP-105 article itself to be bland and uninteresting. I am aware that by trying to write one solid interpretation of her I am only adding fuel to the fire of her having too many interpretations but one day I’ll have the majority of 105 tales under my name. Then who’ll be laughing.

And I definitely get just wanting to use characters that people already know. From a more cynical standpoint, it would help with interest in your content - as I’ve said before, my tales featuring more original characters haven’t done well - but just on an “I have an interest in this thing and I want people to talk to about it” level I get it. Lord knows how many times I’ve latched into a character from something only to see a grand total of two dudes and an ambitious octopus who also like them on the internet.

#scp #asks #Thanks for the response #I really enjoy just talking about SCP stuff

[saviourkingslut]

Gotta love how we were told that we had to wait for the game to come out to make any judgments about it and now it's basically confirmed that the characters are going to be gimmicky one-note snooze-fests it's now a "good thing" the characters are lazily written (and ugly 🚶) and that we should just "enjoy the camp" since FE "never had that strong character writing before."

I dunno man is it really too much to ask for a decent story with decent characters AND for the fandom to behave itself (read: for edelstan equivalents to behave themselves)? Do we really have to settle with mediocrity now? :/

it's like, on the one hand i get it, bc i understand that people are excited to have a new game and don't like people being negative about it before it's even been released. and if you're excited about it, and a leak seems to confirm that the characters and the story are... probably going to be lacklustre, you're going to try and defend the game anyway, as much to not feel letdown yourself as to stop the onslaught of even more people being negative about it.

but then it's also like, people are allowed to be critical of a game if it has mediocre writing. it's a pretty vital aspect of a game and it seriously impacts most people's enjoyment if it falls very flat. saying that you "should just enjoy the camp" bc "fe never had strong writing" isn't really a great defense imo. obviously fire emblem has its problems with writing but it has shown before that it can produce enthralling characters and stories. sure, it has produced plenty of badly written characters too, but one does not exclude the other. to add to that the 'camp' aspect is actually something that doesn't really do it for a lot of people already, so i wouldn't call that the ultimate saving grace of this game either.

it's never a good thing if a game's writing is mediocre, period, imo. especially for a game that basically hinges on two things which are 1) its tactical gameplay element and 2) its story and characters which it needs to get the player to engage with the tactical gameplay element in an emotionally involved way. obviously people are allowed to enjoy this game even if i don't like a lot of aspects of it. but then in return people shouldn't be attacking those of us who aren't impressed for wanting more than just mediocre writing. for me a new game simply does not equal excitement if too many aspects of it are below my (basic!) standards (based on previous entries) and don't meet my expectations.

#engage critical #asks

[macolegacy]

have you stopped playing the game?

short answer: yeah, for the time being. i played through all class stories multiple times, i played through the expansions (though i stopped playing the newest one from february 5 mins after starting it bc it quite frankly bored me to death) and im pretty much done with it. maybe i'll return in a few years and pick up some stories again but the game doesn't keep me entertained whatsoever. (HOWEVER this does not mean this blog is abandoned, i love my characters very much and still develop and tinker on them, but my artistic muse lies somewhere else rn)

long answer:

ultimately, i have to say swtor is severely lacking some casual map events, that cycle through the day to get some casual player engagement. basically like the monthly ones (gree, rakghoul) but on a minor scale and daily, on every single planet. and i dont mean missions you pick up from a missions terminal that you can solo, i mean things that happen casually where people randomly decide to join in in the spur of the moment - akin to world bosses perhaps?

i feel like its pretty sad that the only 'multiplayer' the game has to offer are flashpoints and operations (the latter hidden behind a paywall), where gear really matters if you wanna play it with some randos, which puts off a lot of casual players (ESPECIALLY with these newest gear changes. LMFAO). and lets be real, 99% of solo players do heroics on their own unless they happen to find someone by chance to team up with so it gets done faster. and they're pretty static so its not really an event either but just a chore to get money (for a market thats so ridiculously out of hand that you might as well just forget buying desireable cosmetics while you're at it)

playing gw2 as my main mmo rn and i find myself actively searching and engaging a lot of map boss events and stuff even without a guild, and its never been an issue of what gear i have or if im good at my rotation or whatever. everyone can jump in and help out, reap the rewards and then everyone parts ways again. and if someone does die, u just band together and revive them. and if the event fails? its whatever because it'll repeat in a few hours anyway so we can try again. eso and xiv have them too and i used to camp at certain event spots all day just to play some silly event and get loot and horse around with random players. these are the moments i cherish in mmos.

u might argue swtor just isn't a game like that but 🤷‍♂️ the game quite frankly bores me so much, it feels very static and undynamic, i usually drop it again after a week of playing. besides story there isnt much to do from a casual perspective, and the rewards for doing fp/ops are... mediocre at best. i dont even have any motivation to do them unlike in XIV, ESO or GW2 where u actually get really cool gear or items of all kinds that you can use for ur enjoyment. and even with those monthly events like the rakghoul ones, it feels more like a competition of who can do the mission faster so they dont have to wait for an object to respawn rather than 'lets do it together and all win' !

so tl;dr : swtor could use some daily active map events where all kinds of players can engage in, with desirable rewards such as cool looking gear, titles, minions, mounts, furniture, whatever, and same goes to flashpoints and operations. and then i'll maybe return long term.

#hennyway. my two cents and feelings that have accumulated over the months #askbox #anonymous #i'll always draw zabrak and mirialan tiddies on this blog anon dont u worry

[thermesiini]

orv is good & fun & i like it, like uve already been told its a story about stories & the specific way it expresses its themes regarding storytelling & narration & its impact on both audience & writer is like nothing ive ever seen before in media & is......but its about the only thing i think it does actually well. it tries having other themes as well in there which are kinda halfassed in execution & the character writing is a bit inconsistent & only okay at best, like no character or relationship actually compels me that much aside from the handful that are directly tied into the main theme of stories. pretty much everything in orv outside of the "story about stories" theme is mediocre & not as fleshed out as they could've been, both in terms of characters & other themes; but the best part about orv is prob that it clearly knows its strengths & weaknesses. orv is like 75% "a story about stories" & 25% other shit, the authors knew what they did well & what they didnt, so orv's theme about stories is the best & only notable thing about it, & said theme is executed incredibly well

sorry u prob didnt want an unnecessarily long opinion piece in ur askbox. i'll try to be helpful instead: a translation for the novel is very easy to find online so ull have no trouble w/ that, but the eng translation might be a bit hard to read thru due to some rough patches in the early days of the translation. its still understandable just awkward sometimes & outright incorrect with a few lines. if u have trouble reading thru it, i rec reading the flame scans translation of the manhwa adaptation, which is not only very faithful to the original but also the translation by flame scans is the best & most accurate one out there. have fun reading btw whenever u do try it out bc from what i know of ur tastes ur sure to like it!

its nice to hear an opinion on how it was written and definitely gives me something to keep in mind whenever i do read it so thank you, and thank you the translation recommendation as well. to be honest i one of the reasons i havent gotten around to reading it is because i know fan tl tend to be a bit janky, but ultimately i am very interested in stories about stories and ive heard good things about orv so it will be in my future

#anon

[rooolt]

1,2,11,15 for the dndads ask thing?

also ur really super duper cool<3

Thank you for the compliment, I already typed this out and then tumblr ate it so sorry if it’s worded a little weird

I’m very much a Henry girlie, an oak girlie, a will girlie m. I think will just has such a good knack for storytelling and characters and phrasing of the things he says and also I love his dumb stupid dad jokes (though all his jokes are dad jokes now bc he’s a dad which is so cool). Henry also I think has the most engaging and interesting story as a whole for me personally with the entirety of the oakvale and memory loss stuff plus the rogue cards. He fascinates me and also birds and bird names and bird symbolism I’m gonna lose it

link, so link. Quiet, nervous all the time, intense rule follower, high school bathrooms are my ultimate enemy. Also like mediocre athlete, but at least I have varsity over on him. Im pretty lame irl if you couldn’t tell

11. I mean I mention the two big Henry ones often, the one to Barry and the one to lark, though that’s usually just me gushing about how good the podcast is. Otherwise idk if there’s anything that’s really entered my daily vernacular but idk maybe I’m forgetting something and everyone in my life would be like “no you say this all the time”

15. This is so specific and maybe it’s just because I’ve listened to the oakvale arc multiple times, but when Anthony makes the clearly vampire noise in the dungeon and no one picks up on the fact that it’s a vampire and I think it’s Beth that brings up the thing where they figured out what a mummy would sound like, but it was just a groaning noise and then throughout the entire rest of the episode the cast continues to make the noise and plays the original clip, it’s so funny I’ve always laughed so hard at it and also always listened to it in class when it would be embarrassing to laugh so I always remember it.

#I love answering asks it’s so fun #I could go into more detail on why I think Henry’s story is more effective and I did and then tumblr ate it #It was so weird to think about the fact that I’m such a Lincoln girlie tho #Like damn I’m lame #I’ve wanted to talk about the joke one for so long it’s so funny to me #dndads

[insideoreoshack]

11.12.2023

no matter how pretty i think i am it will never outweigh the feeling that im still fat and even if people think im pretty they also still think im fat and it matters.

any gym crush or any crush i have in general they all probably think it and i probably will never be good enough for any of my gym crushes ever until im just slim thick bc they dont actually want me as a person they just want my ass and it makes me sick and it makes me spiral and just gives me fucking whiplash like no other. but hey no one actually cares. all my gorgeous gorgeous friends make strides and find people and guess what i just reject people bc i think i deserve more and will ultimately receive nothing it feels.

everyone i know has someone and its going mediocrely well and it fucking sucks for me and i am not jealous i am happy for my friends but damn wouldnt it be nice to be wanted for my personality.

cant stop thinking about it truly. even a friend i had a crush on is in a weird situation with a coworker that is so so similar to me even in body shape a little, she just doesnt have a stomach and he finds her attractive but he never wanted me. maybe different circumstances but it still is ugh in my head.

will i ever be enough?

[harestigm]

3 and 9 from the soft ask?

3. what’s your favorite candle scent?

Okay okay so, my mom has a lot of candles, like they're all on this one counter and sometimes she lights two at a time, has the whole apartment smelling heavenly. But, i’d have to say my favorite scent out of all of them is Cinnamon Apple. It comes in a red jar with a really pretty wood top and a handle. I don't know who its by and i’ve tried looking for them on the internet but I couldn't find one that looked right lol. Wbu, what's you're favorite candle scent?

9. What calms you down?

Okay so I've posted about this a shit ton, but those videos where they're making drinks and/or are baking. I love those videos, they give me so much stimulation and make me so happy, as well as mellow out bad emotions and make them almost non-existent. They make me feel good. Especially since I used to bake cookies when I was younger. I’ve mainly just been watching drink videos though. Which I don't mind bc they have the same effect as watching someone bake. I swear they're my version of baby sensory videos (which also work with ultimate mediocrity)

#asks #aengusnatureking <3 #answered asks #ask game #thank u for the ask <3

[resmarted]

guess who was supposed to be asleep five hours ago and may or may not sleep through morning plans today? that's right homies it is time for a new installment of recently titled series: late nite thotz

my life is compromised of an ongoing series of what are often described in mystical circles as tower moments. my birthday is on the 16th which is the same number as the tower in tarot, and no matter how many times it happens, i have very much managed to start from the bottom and build back up from nothing over and over again. i am literally that chumbawumba song incarnate bruh. i have done this my entire life and all of the lifetimes before that. how else do you think i got a zillion identities? survival mode turned beast mode bitch.

that being said i just do not think my purpose in this life is limited to one particular area of work and i certainly don't think i would pick flippin cards in the quarter as the ultimate goal. i have a very distinct memory of my mom washing dishes and telling me to stay in school so i didn't have to do this work one day. being a fuck up loser disappointment aside, what i DID do was find other things to be good at so that i WOULDN'T have to be stuck doing this one day. it's so hard to convince someone so close to you to zoom out and get perspective on the magnitude of what it is you are actually doing with your life.

that being said, if anyone is able to revolutionize the healthcare system and outdated government systems and other grandiose endeavors i think we can all agree it's moi. i am literally schrodingers cat.

another weird memory that keeps haunting me on repeat is when i was 7 and stitches were still gnarly as fuck and had to be cut out i had several nurses hold me down at one point bc i could hear and see the fucking scissors right near my ear and eye BLUGH it was such a disturbing feeling. this got me branded as a difficult patient at a very early age and the doctor was like aggressively annoyed with me for the rest of my life for not being a super chill post op patient freshly after having my body mutilated and i fucking never heard the end of it.

but i AM a difficult patient. this is very much still my reputation. a bitch has to be! i am truly the worst on so many levels i like show up to the hospital expecting a red carpet to roll out before me and even when it is i am still like umm?? aren't you forgetting to tell me how funny and pretty i am?? like such a monster seriously. but i am also so glad stitches are dissolvable now.

okay but seriously im not fucking kidding. i did not survive this life to be mediocre. my mom says when i was born i looked so pissed all the time because i was fighting so hard to survive. and my whole life since has been more or less looking around this grotesque world and thinking what the actual fuck was i fighting to be in this shithole for? and at this point i am like fuck it, may as well go down in flames and die fighting for the sake of mankind as a whole. which is SUCH. a god complex i know like what am i a doctor? wait...am i? if i had a show called witch doctor md would you subscribe. be honest.