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#bc i havent done it since i was like 10
girl-bateman · 1 year
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Intense nausea at work, feel like pure shit 🤢
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coloursofaparadox · 10 months
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im still not over the sleep thing one sec i gotta rant about this shit
#i think the problem now is that historically my sleep habits have been Really Messed Up by what can loosely be called insomnia my whole life#its always kinda just been a given that if im in bed and i cant sleep there is absolutely nothing that can be done to help#and thats not for lack of trying i have tried every meditation and suggested solution possible. it does not happen.#if i cant fall asleep and try to force myself w/o distractions i will be awake staring at the ceiling for hours. usually till the morning#thats not an exaggeration it happened often before i gave up on it. so i figured out coping methods!#namely 1) making sure my body is taken care of as well as possible to make sure its not caused by pain or hunger or anxiety#and 2) not trying to force it and accepting itll happen when it happens. and then reading a book or watching a show on a dim screen#until i physically cant keep my eyes open and then i can fall asleep. if i try any earlier than that no dice. my brain wakes itself up again#these worked for years! but now thanks to adhd meds that actually make my brain quiet. uh. these same coping methods are. not working#im physically tired and start my usual routine and wait to pass out while reading but i just. dont. ever.#like. the physically tired feeling has never made a difference in my body cooperating with sleep. but now apparently it will????#and ive been ignoring it??? bc im used to it not working? i tried just. closing my eyes and trying to lay still yesterday and it WORKED#after like. 10 minutes or so. it was fucking crazy. i thought media and pop culture was lying about people doing that.#anyways. apparently i can fall asleep like a human and not some kind of weird chronically exhausted cryptid now.#(because of new adhd meds to be clear) but i havent been because i didnt even think to TRY it. since. yknow. cryptid status.#shits weird.
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kummatty · 1 year
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back home . this weekend was driving 12 hrs to redacted, getting ready in a rush in full langa voni (half sari) jewelry bangles etc in the hotel (probably took us 2 hrs bc hello), attending my cousins engagement party from 6-11, getting back changing repacking going to bed at 1am, waking up at 7 getting ready and driving 12 hrs back
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jehans-flower-pot · 1 year
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coping very well with the end of the semester
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cinnabeat · 5 months
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anyways the other day when i went out with my friend and stayed out far later than i usually do i came to the realization that i dont actually have a curfew anymore and its mind boggling
#i technically didnt have a curfew before either but my parents always said to be home by 1 am or dont come home at all#not in a 'we're locking you out' kind of way but in a 'if you come home and make boise while everyone is asleep there WILL be consequences#and like i can respect that since my prents room is right next to the front door#and in the end i would always be home around 10 bc MY friends had curfews#and like man i came home the other day and it was almost 12#ive never done that before#i was like taking out my keys to go in and it hit me that like i just? sont have a curfew?#i can go home whenever??#either my brothers awake gaming or hes at work so it litwrally doesnt matter???#it was bizzare like im just allowed to do that now? and no one can stop me???#like idk lately i havent really been feeling my age#i kind of still feel nineteen you know?#not even 18 bc 2020 was not a real year lmao i think my brain skipped that year entirely#like man in almost 22#thata wild#i never imagined mysef getting to this age not in a bad way but like#idk ive never known anybody in their 20s you know?????#people were either my age or still in school like k-12 or they were 30 and above#like i dont know what to expect for this decade of my life? which no one knows what to wxpect and we're all at different paces but like?#its like my whole life has been step1. be a child step 2. be a child in school step3. Prepare For College#step4. college :D you have made your parents proud step5.?????????????#step 6. congratulations you are now an adult 🥳🥳#like does this make sense#ive never really considered my life beyond school bc my entire life HAS BEEN school so jn this nebulous area of my life where im in school b#but also like 80% of the way to independence and im about to graduate and no longer be in school#and get a career and make money and get groceries and pay bills and like idk exist as an independent member of society#idk man its a lot! it is 9 pm i should stop thinking so much actually#michi tag
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ikoarts · 3 months
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September 2023 Art
train derangement in full swing x
vvv dates + info under the cut vvv
1 - 03/09/2023 : really wanted to draw Ru n Toni in some eveningwear, was a fun opportunity to draw Toni a bit more masc... shes so hot wtf!!! i love these ladies
2, 3 - 04/09/2023 : a Trixie pen doodle, which I ended up turning into a full digital piece..... which i procrastinated on for months, but hey at least i Did finish it! also a little human TTTE au doodle... its Diesel and hes silly... i doodled him in the oingo boingo only a lad pose bc, damn, he really is only a lad
4 - 05/09/2023 : another human Diesel, i did end up tweaking a lot of these initial human designs, so don't get too comfy with em, but oh my.. could it be... Goopy makes another boingo reference? how peculiar that never ever happens..... anyway Perfect System is my fave Diesel song.. in my head is an AMV that will never be made
5, 6, 7 - 06/09/2023 : first, some ideas for my human Edward, thought i might as well include these, for the craic i guess x ... then a rare one of Toby (i havent drawn him since.. i should change that) and Diesel, then that one barbie meme with Edward n James, dont get comfy with either of these designs coz they're not sticking x
8 - 07/09/2023 : a pencil drawing emerges.. Eddie again, with his initial design i was gonna go with, i think the side profile is especially cute..
9 - 09/09/2023 : aaand heres the design i've currently settled on! im much happier with this, and its one of my fave drawings of last year, even if its nothing too special, hes just so cute, and thats really it
10 - 10/09/2023 : silly phone doodle of my human percy.. he drank 2 meny monsters.. cuz i think he would ig.. splort on the floor
11, 12 - 15/09/2023 : another silly (very quick) phone doodle.. i like the idea of Edward taking Diesel under his wing and nobody else can quite understand why, ALSO Edward n Emily friendship? lets go... gays stick together and listen to belinda carlisle its true
13 - 17/09/2023 : YET ANOTHER silly one... oo shes so silly so quirky... i just think if Edward ended up in TATMR he would destroy D10 like thats probs why he wasnt included... hes too powerful
14, 15, 16 - 21/09/2023 : human Diesel shenanigans, first isnt my fave thing ive done and again his design is now outdated BUT the little one of him flipping you off is so funny to me like you get em lil guy!! also Edward again big surprise. holding his little gremling
17 - 29/09/2023 : watched tobias and the last pariah and all i could think about was this meme of the brown eyes vs blue eyes thing so i doodled them on my phone
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morphogenetic · 4 days
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Mediaposting 2024, #6: Dai Gyakuten Saiban 2/The Great Ace Attorney Resolve
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Completed: April 21st, 2024 (/i still have to watch the DLC episodes that didn't get released with the official loc, I guess but I'm not playing it any more so ?? lol)
Time spent: 49.5 hours (will be like 50.5 after the DLC stuff)
Rating: 9/10 (more objectively. but a very biased 9.5 in my heart.)
ohhhhh my god alright where do i even start with this. i guess i also have to talk about dgs1 a little bit in this review/mini completion log but I will TRY and keep it to just 2. [editor's note: somehow succeeded with this! lfg]
first, to get the non-spoiler parts of this out of the way:
please for the love of god play this fucking game if you've played the original AA trilogy but not the DGS duology. i can not stress this enough. i would not recommend playing them as your FIRST aa games because a) they will set your bar way too high (and too low simultaneously bc wow dgs1 still has whack as hell pacing) b) there are a few details, especially in this particular game, that will evoke no reaction in you if you haven't played at least the main three games but WILL cause you to start gnawing on drywood if you have Knowledge Of The Future
the whole dgs duology - and specifically as a duology, bc 2 makes no sense without 1 but 1 by itself is not on this level - is absolutely in my top 3/4 AA games now. i admittedly have not replayed the original trilogy in quite a while, buuuuuut T&T/AAI2/DGS1+2 are my new top 3. not necessarily in that order, give me a bit to think about it lol.
im going to be thinking about this game for the rest of my life probably. i can see why my best friend wanted me to play it for uh. seven years. because yeah it really is that good.
i want to cosplay four different designs from it. i have not wanted to cosplay anything new (to me) since neo twewy came out three years ago. take that as you will.
music still slaps. obviously. my favorite new song is absolutely partners (IYKYK) but agh. the new theme(s) that characters get are all so fucking good. clenches fist. the leitmotifs
definitely becomes relevant in retrospect in a few places where capcom obviously cut the hell out of the budget but they saved it for where it matters so i dont care. im also uh. very used to low budget VNs so frankly even 3D models are better than I'm used to LMFAO. i also you know. didn't realize that they did that until after the fact. so. they hid it well
if you havent played this go and play it (after playing the original AA trilogy). please for the love of god im on my hands and knees.
everything below the cut (i.e. below this point) has blatant unfiltered spoilers. you have been warned.
okay so welcome you've presumably played all of dgs2 if you're reading this. i have THOUGHTS. a lot of these will come off as critical/negative but i need to strongly emphasize that these are the only reasons that this game is not a 10/10 for me and otherwise i'm in love with it. it is fucking CLOSE. i am not talking a lot about the things i really love because that is.............................a lot of the game for me and we'd be here all day. the critiques are much more limited in number. but. you know.
dgs2 absolutely has much, Much better pacing than dgs1 does overall. it does not take 3 cases to get past a bunch of tutorial cases. this is a good thing. however..............the first two cases are still very slow. i won't call them pure filler, because a) reminding us about yuujin was a very good idea, b) they contribute to the Themes of the game. and im glad hosonaga was there again and (of all of the side characters we could have had) seeing souseki was good. i like them. but they really didn't need to be there to fulfill the themes of the game. case 2 in particular feels like a filler case, which I do not love given how tight the rest of the plot feels. if anything i feel like they should have done an interim flashback case without susato, as much as I adore susato, because as-is it's canon that ryuu had 3 cases in the span of a week. which feels INSANE
speaking of better pacing: im so glad dgs2 remembered that AA games can take investigation breaks between courtroom shit because running through ALL of the trial after ALL of the investigation in 1-5 was. let's say. taxing. the 'finding their footing' aspect of the first game
i do kind of wish we got One more case with the masked apprentice where susato wasn't there at all for the entire case. if only because then the delay between ryuu Thinking It and susato Knowing it would be even more painful. but i do really appreciate that they don't try to make it a woah big reveal as much as a painful "i know who you are but you don't." really adds a certain je nai se quois or however the fuck you spell that. idr. its 1 am when im typing this
also hey asougi can we fucking unpack how susato (the girl you were raised with to some extent, probably not like your sister but your weird younger cousin) called your name and you didn't remember who you were but you DID remember when you saw a wax reconstruction of your dead dad. can we fucking talk about that for a minute. can w
speaking of asougi. my god. they did such a good job with him. i think i wouldn't have cared nearly as much about him if all we had was the dgs1 stuff but his extreme motivation for the truth almost turning him into a violent attack dog is. aaaaaaaaaah. god. and the parallels between him and his father's followers (read: the von karmas) that one has from playing the mainline AA games. truly brainworm material
speaking of this: i can absolutely tell they did NOT think about writing the professor stuff with this game until they added in the masked apprentice - before he got turned into asougi - even though the reaper was obviously something that was planned. i do not care personally about this, because game dev is weird as hell and it REALLY works with asougi and van zieks' character arcs. in the same way that i don't think [SPOILER CHARACTER] from vlr would have been as good without the knowledge of 999, i think if barok had been foiled against a new character it wouldn't have worked as well. all that said. it sure is obvious they didn't know what they were doing. this makes me even more impressed that that they got it to work at all
the same is true of everything with the hound of the baskervilles but im really glad that they took it in the direction that they did.
also man it is so obvious that they probably wanted to have this be a proper trilogy like the original trilogy but then budget happened. because 2-3 through 2-5 all slap but they feel so fucking weird next to 2-1 and 2-2. like i dont feel that theres anything missing per se but a little more time for character growth would have been nice. hell even adding in an extra case (and/or editing 2-2....)
the only writing thing, aside from. 2-2 being like that. and the other weird pacing issues..that extensively is off to me is the whole assassin trading plot. i do think it is Very stupid and that they clearly wrote themselves into a corner with 1-5 on how to deal with it because they just...proceed to not deal with it until 2-4 and 2-5. however. even with that said. i actually kind of like that it is so stupid. because stronghart definitely feels SO obsessed with his version of justice that he wouldn't think through the potential downsides of having two free-roaming assassins running around and maybe coming to get his ass. obvious flaw that would not occur to him because of his insane ass behavior
its still dumb. but it's ace attorney dumb. so i can excuse it a little bit
stronghart being a damon gant expy was funny but goddamnit was it predictable. making him be so obssessed with justice that he talks to ryuu about it for 4 hours was funny as hell though and absolutely adds to him as a character. still dont like him that much Personally but hes definitely a character
his breakdown was peak. by the way. top 3 breakdowns in the series
jigoku being like that kills me. also. the way he just let genshin
g. genshin impact (sorry)
i dont care that sherlock's bullshit was a deus ex machina bc honestly.....electricity was real at that point. its fine
also. holy shit i love ryuunosuke in this game even more. 'i'm not doing this for you, kazuma. i'm doing it for the truth.' BANGER!!!!!!!!!!!! his growth across these two games is really good but especially in this one he shines so brightly
however..........this game made the glaring lack of ryuu's parents even more obvious. its not like i Need it or anything but considering how he very literally refers to yuujin/susato/sherlock/iris as his family in 2-4.....where are your parents!!!! what was your childhood like!!!!!! I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS THAT I WISH COULD BE ANSWERED!!!!!!!!!
and asougi. i could write an essay on asougi alone i think. but i adore how both he and ryuu are like 'you've changed' at each other and neither of them are wrong but then by the end they're like 'wow you're the same as before.' theyre so fucking gay. anyway
and sherlock (WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU WHY DO YOU LIE FOR FUN LIKE THIS????????)
and yuujin (partners ~ game is afoot starts playing and i start crying). obsessed with how they only had to write the dynamic for a single case and you can believe all of it because they can just go. lol. ACD canon. anyway
and susato
and, most surprisingly of all for me.....fucking barok van zieks. i would not call myself a Fan of him in the way i am a Fan of asougi and ryuu, but i am obsessed with him. he did so many things wrong but realizes he genuinely fucked up and wants to atone for it. he gets genuinely upset in prison when he can't join the red-headed league. he's a professional alcoholic. he has bats in his office (???). what is wrong with him. (i know the answer is 'literally everything that could be wrong with a person.' but still
i love every single character in this game (or i hate them but because they were written to be hated)??? how did they manage this again. dgs1 helps so much here because the character growth.
argh. the character parallels with everyone realizing their parent / mentor figure was fucked up and/or hiding shit from them in some way. thinking emoji rotating in a circle goes here
wow that magically became way less critical as i was writing it. i thought it was going to be a lot stronger of a critique. its still weird pacing stuff basically that bothers me but i have very minor complaints that im forgetting aside from this
UHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEAH HI GUYS IM BRAIN ROTTING NOW FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this has had almost the same brain impact on me (as evidenced by the 1 million words about it) as raging loop i think and thats never a good sign since i still think about raging loop at least once a week despite the fact that i played it 3 goddamn years ago
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destinysbounty · 2 years
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Oh yeah no im definitely not done talking about Lloyd and Zane's dynamic in my elemental roulette au. Heres some more brainrot for the road
The basic gist of this au is that instead of fire, earth, ice, and lightning, the elements of creation are fire, earth, water, and air. So now the starting ninja lineup consists of Kai, Cole, Nya, and Morro. Of course, Jay and Zane do eventually join the team as well, and they are still elemental masters, but their trajectories are a teensy bit different. For instance, Jay starts out as Samurai X
In the original canon, Wu recruited Zane while in the process of tracking down masters of the core elements of creation. But in this au, ice isnt an element of creation, which means Wu has no reason to seek him out. This means Zane stays homeless, which means he and Lloyd end up homeless at the same time
So yeah Zane and Lloyd cross paths and bond over their shared circumstance, then decide to stick together
Zane has amnesia, he doesnt know who he is or where he came from and ultimately doesnt have much direction in life, but finally finds a sense of purpose in looking after Lloyd. So he decides to kinda just follow around this weird feral child he found
Lloyd tries to maintain a strictly professional villain-henchman relationship at first, but quickly grows very fond of his new buddy and a strange connection fosters between them
So now youve got Lloyd, a chaotic 10-year-old who is determined to steal candy, take over the world, and be a general punk/emo nuisance...and then theres his supposed henchman, a chronically confused amnesiac robot who bakes cookies in his spare time
Lloyd is his usual edgy, black-cape-wearing self whose main objective is to steal candy, and Zane is...well, hes confused, but hes got the spirit
"Yes, Lloyd, of course you can steal candy, but make sure to steal some vegetables too! Youre a growing boy, after all :)"
In this au, Zane doesnt remember his real name (for a number of reasons i wont bother you with). So Lloyd naturally takes it upon himself to give him one. It ends up being a kind of Jason Funderberker situation, where Lloyd comes up with new names for Zane pretty much on a daily basis, but all the names have the vibe of a 10-year-old boy naming his first hamster. So the ninja are like, "hey wait a minute, i thought your henchman's name was Carl???" And Lloyd just goes, "uh yeah, but that was *yesterday*. Today his name is Burgermeister 3000. Times change. Keep up, losers."
Jay: dont you hate having this kid call you a different horrible name every single day?
Zane: i didnt used to have any name at all. Now i have 50. This is an improvement
Id like to think Lloyd gets very disappointed when he discovers that his friend's name is Zane of all things. He thinks its a dumb name, and only begrudgingly uses it bc he knows how important this is to Zane
The falcon still leads them to the Bounty, but at this point only Lloyd and Zane are living there so now theyve got a super cool Evil LairTM. Also the falcon lives with them as their funky robot pet, and its all rather wholesome in a bizarre, unhinged sort of way
There are a lot of possibilities for how and why Lloyd releases the Serpentine in this au, and I havent made any conclusive decisions yet, but one of my favorites is this:
Zane: what the one thing i told you not to do while i was out running errands? Lloyd: release the serpentine
Zane: and what did you do??
Lloyd: ...release the serpentine...
I wont go into a lot of detail about the Serpentine and whatnot since a lot of it is still undecided, but for now i just really like the concept of kid!Lloyd and Zane getting up to shenanigans. Also, while we're here - when Lloyd confronts the Ice Emperor in ns11, he tries to snap him out of the Scroll's control by reminding him of all the adventures they shared together back when it was just the two of them. Someone hold me while i weep
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gothwizardmagic · 7 months
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ok i havent watched the su movie, su future, or fionna and cake yet but i am done with the "re" part of my "rewatch all the tumblr popular early 10s cartoons and see how they hold up" mission here are the results;
adventure time: dipped pretty badly in the middle (season 6 iirc) but overall really good with a few absolute bangers in there, and the ending is GREAT for real. more than any of the others i think adventure time did a really good job of growing up with its target audience while managing to have broad appeal throughout
gravity falls: BANGERS START TO FINISH NARY A FLOP ACTIVELY BETTER THAN I REMEMBERED also really fun to rewatch with hindsight of all The Theories and the ending itself knowing which clues were clues and which were red herrings. i dont even have that much to say gravity falls is just a fucking banger of a show if youre feeling nostalgic i strongly recommend the rewatch
steven universe: starts out actively Kinda Bad but progresses pretty quickly - only one Absolute Flop episode in the later seasons. (gem harvest.) i knew it was suffering from the steven bomb format but i didnt realise just how badly until i actually watched the show through consistently with no breaks. the story viewed contiguously is REALLY consistent and well paced (right until the ending but thats not the creators fault) and despite said pacing issues i really enjoyed the ending, found myself actually like. shouting out loud a few times it was SO GOOD FOR REAL also we owe so much to the crewniverse fighting for the garnet wedding this is such an all around queer show struggling to be itself at every turn which was interesting to look back on given how far we've come since. i will say that in the early seasons i dont think any of the writers had ever Met a thirteen year old like i get that steven is supposed to be immature but theres a difference between an immature thirteen year old and like. a seven year old. but that clears up with time and he starts acting his age as the story progresses
had more to say about su than the others bc i JUST finished it but man overall all three shows hold up pretty well and were worth the rewatch
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red-dyed-sarumane · 22 days
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what are some cool games u have played? dont matter if u mentioned before. tell me again tell me again :D
uhh hmm.
well okami is my all time favorite the art & the music & the message/story are all just incredible theres not a single time ive finished it i havent cried. i absolutely adore ryoshima coast ive spent so many hours just running around there to listen to music. which fun fact for u i only know about this game bc in about 6th grade i picked up okamiden bc i thought the little doggy was cute & was like fine i'll play as this boy if i get a cool dog and u cannot imagine how excited i was to find out u DID play as the little dog. i was SOOOOO obsessed literally my exact thoughts were 'if issun is ammy's celestial envoy then i am going to be chibis' i have a metric fuck ton of fan art i did at the time bc i thought it was quote "the epic-est game for ds ever" also cried every time i finished it. i was 13 so i didnt know what "being down bad" was but do know i was as obsessed with kurow as i was with d-ne later and now tenshi not a single irl friend was unaware i was in love with him. also fun fact for u bc at the same time i was also getting super into vocaloid i was so convinced my vocap name would end up as chibiP to the point i named myself that in pkmn x chibiP after chibiterasu of course. please enjoy my banger old art which is not even a fraction of my output
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yume nikki is my next favorite game specifically the og that changed my brain chemistry as a kid. i adore that game so much its hard to put it into words. its just so unlike anything else. there is absolutely nothing in the game that can directly harm u theres no real health meter theres no way to die during the main play the absolute worst that will ever happen is u get stuck or woken up. in a horror game. which is already just amazing. and the whole horror aspect just plays on something i dont think is often done as well in many other things. ur alone. u wander and wander thru worlds that loop and connect and seemingly have nothing to do with each other. theres no dialogue; talking to npcs just gets u a noise or animation at best. ur entirely alone with just urself. its all dreams so u know everything is of madotsuki's own creation, another layer to the all u have is urself feeling. the art is just unusual i cant even say any of it on its own is in anyway scary. the whole thing shouldnt be scary and yet every time i start wandering in a world i cant help but feel unease. amazing 10/10 no other game will ever have what this gave me.
everyone knows i play pkmn the best is still pmd sky that also rewired my brain i still cant play it without crying.
its been a long time since i was really just playing it as the chapters released & got translated but 1bitheart is so so so important to me too. i dont kin for multiple reasons but if i did nanashi would be my first choice. like- without saying that to her i got my one irl friend to play once & when she saw how nanashi was she turned to me and went "this is just you" hes very important to me even now. absolutely loved the whole friendship sim & the story & its twists & the endings & their implications left me in shambles at 1 am on a school night. my fave charas are nanashi enri & saaya btw. i should replay this.
i also love the etrian odyssey series i love the character portraits (esp with the more recent games' color customization) i LOVE the dungeon art & i think all the monster designs are so cool. adore the whole make ur own map aspect keeps me so entertained to take a step & look around & chart all the walls & path ways. unfortunately i fucking suck at every single one i am not very good at strategy games so i end up stuck at or before the 3rd stratum. but thats okay its still fun to me.
the other one i'll talk about at length is spirit of the north another game i loved the art of. u play as a fox & get a partner spirit fox & i just love it SOOOO much. its also a game with 0 dialogue but theres A Lot going on it if u care to follow along & explore & dig into details & the game play is also pretty fun to me. this is the one game i started learning the speedrun btw thats also a very fun way to play it but ABSOLUTELY play it as intended first it has so much to offer
aaaand special mentions to omori, oneshot, witch's house, mermaid swamp, corpse party, & limbus company
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mrfoox · 2 years
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Uh you ever.... Feel okay or pretty decent and then you remember your lifes circumstances and then you're at the verge of tears?
#miranda talking shit#Maybe this is too specific but hah yeah ...#I can feel okay and be like ah things are pretty good ! And then i remember how my life 'is' and im close to a breakdown#Trying nit to compare myself to others and so on but like.... Its so hard not to lmao#25 soon and no job havent finished high-school i got no partner (plus i guess a virgin lol)#And all the things i havent done or experienced which is pretty universal? Yeah mmm... Ive lost so much of my time and life to mental#Illness and i cant help but morn that. Like if i didnt have my child trauma id probably have a lot milder anxiety and depression which is#Keeping from doing most things... Id still have my autistic and add struggles but i want to imagine I'd manage to accomplish more if#My dep and anx wasn't this bad bc of my past... I hate how my mentality was wrecked before i even knew how to count to 100#And sooo many years of my childhood just feeling bad and even suicidal (first time i mentioned wanting to die in my diary i was 10-11...)#Just struggling so many years mentally and since i was so young i couldn't make the connection why i was feeling like it? Like the first#Time i started considering why etc i was already like 16.... I didnt think it was weird to cry every single day as long as i can remember#Now at 25 i am still a crybaby but i do it weekly instead. Its just so ... Weird and sad. You dont understand how serious something was#That happened to you and how it affected you until youre almost an adult... And you start to understand that its not just all on you#Its not just your fault youre struggling so much. Youre not just being lazy and difficult ... God Just wish someone protected me when#It mattered . I know my past could have been worse i could have been treated a lot worse and abused more and still to this day it makes me#Feel iffy or bad to claim i was abused? I mean... I was? But cant help to feel my trauma and experiences is not as serious as others#Like i wasnt sexually abused for example or abused by my parents... And i know many have so i feel its not my ... Right to say anything ?#Like my brothers mentally abused me for years and physically from time to time but it could be so much worse#Idk where im going with this i need to go to my vourses instead im crying in the bathroom like stop#Negative
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gammagoop · 6 months
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my recent fixation has been the wings of fire book series since ive been rereading it, which i feel is not very related to any of my other interests and so i havent posted much about it. but i literally have “post whatever i want” in my bio so i’m not going to let the whims of an audience stop me any longer
all that to say heres some of my series opinions in the form of tierlists
(not including 3rd arc bc i havent gotten there on my reread and i dont remember it very well)
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character tierlist! (added the legends: darkstalker characters manually since they weren’t in the tiermaker version)
notes:
mightyclaws is my background character fave. category 10 glup shitto event
i need to do a long post on how much i love whiteout. another day
i realy like clay in the first book and if he retained the same level of depth throughout the series he would be in the top tier-- its just that his writing makes him so shallow in the rest of the books it makes me so sad :[ i was listening (audiobook) to hidden kingdom and like. 90% of his lines/actions were about food and the other 10% were about protecting the other dragonets..... i related so much to his anxiety in the first book and his empathy and his ability to see both sides of things... gah. sad.
jambu is also one of my glup shittos. i love his whimsical ass
foeslayer is a hard one for me because she never did anything wrong she's just..... not as present as i wish she was. she's treated as a very vital character with how many large plot points hinge on her, but she doesnt have much agency herself. its stated a lot that she's extremely important to darkstalker but in the legends book we dont see much of them interacting? idk. i like her but she always feels so uninvolved
the 'beat you to death (funny)' tier is just for characters who i like on some level but are also pathetic and worms. out of that tier i like deathbringer the best and mastermind the worst
tier after that are for characters who i have a positive opinion on but not really a strong one. anemone and sora are more complicated, but i do generally like them. i really just feel bad for them if anything. i think i like clearsight more than the other characters in this tier, but she's not in the 'wonderful :D' tier because i dont think she has a very strong personality
the 'conflicting feelings' tier is kind of a trainwreck because it means a lot of things
obviously riptide is the outlier since he hasnt done anything nearly to the degrees of coral, glacier, and albatross-- but i do have conflicting feelings on him. riptide is completely inoffensive, hasn't done anything wrong, i just dont like him because he has no real reason to be in the story. like you could write him out very easily. his only purpose is to be a love interest for tsunami which is like...... gh. dude. she doesnt need one. if she's gonna have a romance it should come naturally. not "wow this seawing is handsome and also he's the first one ive properly met as well as a guy do im in love with him now" like girl do better
coral and glacier both have done bad things and obviously have bad intentions but also.... theyre not the worst. bad but not the worst.
albatross is a victim of emotional abuse and even though that doesnt justify his actions it does explain how they could have been negated
next 3 tiers are self-explanatory. i forgot to put her on there but queen vigilance goes in 'the grime beneath my shoe'
actually no i wanna talk about scarlet and battlewinner: i think the thing that i like about them is their theatrics. they bot have such a huge presence, like a disney villain. whenever i read scarlet dialogue it almost feels poorly written with how over-the-top she is but. no other character talks like that. its just how scarlet is. and i think thats so good. whereas battlewinner's situation conceptually is just cool as hell. i love how she struggles to speak because of the ice in her throat, her rage, the way she's hinted at but her reveal is completely unexpected...... very very good
no one likes morrowseer
when im in an emotional abuse and classism competition and my opponent is queen lagoon 😧
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ship tierlist! (made on ms paint since i couldnt find any good ones on tiermaker. turned out to be nice since i can mess with the placement more)
notes:
top tier is /j i just dont really like how tui writes romance
i was kind of against glorybringer at first for the same reason i dont like tsunami/riptide but honestly it grew on me. their dynamic is so fun
anemome/tamarin is good i just think tamarin could do better if she wanted to. but i understand the "i can fix her" mentality and i do genuinely think tamarin could help anemone
sunny/fatespeaker is kind of a funny concept but also i can totally see it
i genuinely forgot turtlejou was a thing in canon ... it does not make sense to me. who came up with this. in the words of my friend "forced heterosexual on both parts tbh"
i love turtle and peril as friends so so so much if i saw someone romantically shipping them i feel like i could get mad
smolder/thorn is like if glorybringer was bad. mostly just because thorn can do way better than him. smolder and vermilion should kiss each other and bond over being wimp princes who havent actually done anything wrong themselves but bow to tyrant relatives to avoid getting killed
i dont know if this will be an unpopular take but clay and peril is such an awful ship. i like them as friends, i think theyre great as friends, but a romantic relationship between them would be so deeply unhealthy considering their situation. peril would be even more dependent and attached to him than she already is, and clay is not the kind of dragon who has an easy time saying 'no' to things. it would not be a malicious relationship in any way, but it would not be good for them. peril needs to learn how to live for herself, not for the approval of anyone else
okay thats all for today friends. thank you if you read all of my mismatched thoughts if you did ^_^ i love talking
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cloudcountry · 10 months
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Ok I just finished the prologue for Ikemen prince and now I’m telling what I think of each character so far.
Leo: He’s cool. I have no grudge against him. But I don’t like his name.
Chevalier: I don’t like him. Seems like a bitch.
Yves: I get that he’s a prince but he needs a manner lesson
Nokto: he’s ok, I think. So far at least
Licht: I relate to him.
Clavis: So far I like him, he’s just vibing
Jin: no comment, just give me one of your lollipops
Luke: I love him already, 10/10
Sariel: keep this man as far away from me as possible
Rio: didn’t like him at first, then he gave me food, but then I went back to not liking him
Gilbert: who? He looks cool, I like his eyepatch
Keith: he looks like a wolf
Silvio: love love LOVE his outfit
I’ll keep you updated
OMG NICEEEE WHAWAHAWHAWHA PLEASE DO KEEP ME UPDATED C:
i'll tell you my first impression too!! for funnsies >:D
leon...i didn't think much of him. pretty unremarkable honestly. though i did appreciate how he was like "nah dont be formal with me" that was very nice C: it was pretty obvious he was a prince sigh
chevalier...honestly i dont like him either and he scares me but i have a feeling his route explains a lot. am i going to play through it? no. he's scary!!
YVES :(( okay hes such a bitch and i mean that so affectionately because it literally only takes him four chapters to show his sweeter side. he brought mc CAKE. gahhh hes already making me want to squish him.
nokto is making me so uncomfortable. i do not like people touching me and he's doing that TOO MUCH. its the same ick that arthur gave me EXCEPT nokto's is WORSE. i don't know how to explain it. maybe it's because arthur has shown he genuinely cares about mc and isaac in ikevamp but Man. nokto freaks me out.
licht is sooooo fucking pretty wowowowowoowowowie!! i wante dto play hsi route but i decided to do yves's route first since that was people recommended to me C: HE INTRIGUED ME FROM TEH START i have a feeling he'll be a fav
clavis is so goofy i liked him immediately. hes got that "nuisance pretty boy" vibe and i am HERE FOR IT.
jin scares me next
luke!! he was really kind to the mc in yves's route C: though i cant help but feel like hes depressed or something
sariel...LIKE I SAID BEFORE...he's someone 15 year old me would have found attractive and been in love with. thank goodness my type is dorknerd losers that have a single animal friend and stay in their room all day.
rio seems really sweet but i dont think i can treat him teh way he wants to be treated LMAO i'm constantly yelling at sariel for calling him a dog bc he's NOT an animal. and even though rio seems kidna weird with the whole dog thing bc he lieks it?????? i think hes kind :C although i wholeheartedly believe hes capable of murder.
gilbert do you mean vio's husband. umm my first impression was literally just OMG ITS THE GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! bc i havent seen him in teh story yet hagsdhasgdh
KEITH GIVES ME SUCH A BAD VIBES ITS CRAZY. like he looks so kind but hes SCARY. IM CONVINCED HES DONE THE SKETCHIEST SHIT. I DO NOT TRUST THAT FACE AND FLOOFY HAIR.
silvio is the guy vivi likes i think??? uhh he has a nice color palette!!!! i dont know enough about him honestly ^^;
BUT YEA I HOPE YOU HAVE FUN WHWAHAHAWHWA TELL ME WHOSE ROUTE YOU PICK :D
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lion-buddy · 7 months
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I must ask: what's your favorite Precure series (or Precure character), and why?
ah! you see the thing is, I’ve only ever finished star twinkle hehe. but i have seen a few episodes of tropical rouge and the 2020 miracle leap movie too! im also planning to watch the new all stars F movie when i can!! [hopefully soon ahh]. So yeah I don’t have much to say about any other season
but!! I have a lot to say abt star twinkle! like a lot. I watched star twinkle because I saw Yuni's wiki page, got interested, and proceeded to stay up till 4am watching it all. So yeah! I really enjoyed it, I don’t even know where to start
yuni is my favorite character if it wasnt obvious lol, she is literally like. the perfect character from personality to design. shes an antagonist aligned shapeshifting phantom thief catgirl with a blue/yellow/rainbow color scheme who struggles with self perception and relationships in general and gets found-familied by the narrative [whether she likes it or not]. [[this sentence is meant to all be said in one continuous breath]] TLDR she could not be any more perfect, she scores a 10/10 for character of all time. i could say a lot abt yuni!! but ill hold myself back for now since i feel that could be a whole essay of its own. hikaru is also a character that's growing on me a lot. im not sure how to put it into words, but! shes really really interesting to me, which surprised me since i dont typically lean towards her character type. maybe i can find the words to talk abt her one day, bc i see way too much slander directed at her, she does not deserve all that
ok but star twinkle itself! i adore its themes of friendship, forgiveness, and learning what it means to grow up and grow apart. typical for a show of its demographic. what really got me was how it expanded on all of that, it introduced the concept of figuring out your place in the world, and learning how to continue living happily even if the people you care about most aren't here with you. it kinda hit really close to home for me. its so obvious how much the whole cast cares for each other, and i could see them building up to a finale where they would all have to say goodbye to each other forever. i wasnt sure if theyd actually commit all the way but!! they sure did!!!! watching them get separated at the end like that really hurt!!! like a lot!!!!!! im such a baby when it comes to cast separations but. man. star twinkle did it really well.
also also its ost is really really good??! this is aside from the intro and outro themes, im focusing on the instrumental backing tracks that play throughout the episodes. i was surprised to find them on youtube, and found myself blown away by how emotional they were. its got such a strong central motif that plays throughout the tracks, and obliterates you at the end when it shows back up to deliver an extremely emotional farewell song. i have cried several time listening to it, i dont think any ost has ever done that to me [aside from a few select songs from various medias. and undertale lol]. but yeah. listen to the star twinkle ost if you havent it will make you feel things.
i could also add that the movie kills me every time. watch the star twinkle movie if ur at all interested in anything ive said. its a good starting point if u want to see some action and get the vibe of the characters
on the topic of movies, final little note! im really interested in the new all stars F movie and prim, or cure supreme. literally know nothing about them but!! im staring so hard, they look exactly like my type of character. also the songs that have released are really really good ahhh scratching at the walls i hope it releases somewhere soon so i can see them in action. hopefully itll get me interested in checking out other seasons as well :]
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night-dark-woods · 7 months
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tagged by @villanevehaus :3
9 people you'd like to get to know better
last song: unfortunately. c'est la vie by bbno$ yung gravy and rich brian. its been stuck in my head for three weeks now.
fave colour: most jewel tones, but i love a good pthalo green.
currently watching: finally finishing person of interest bc i could never bring myself to finish the last season. also bob's burgers.
last movie: THE THING 1982. MOVIE OF ALL TIME. technically Bottoms but given that i left the room 15 minutes in since i'd just been sitting there plugging my ears bc i can't handle secondhand embarrassment. i don't think that counts.
currently reading:
see when i was a kid i was always like HOW is my mom in the middle of a bunch of books at once. however. here we are:
the archive undying - emma mieko candon
the bright ages - matthew gabriele and david perry
shadow and claw - gene wolfe
into the planet: my life as a cave diver - jill heinerth
and then technically, though i havent picked these up in a few months:
gardens of the moon - steven erikson
kushiel's avatar - jacqueline carey
antigonick - anne carson (going slowly since im reading it with carson's actual translation and then also got a copy of the greek to reference to see what's up with specific really fun word choices)
sweet/spicy/savoury: savory!
last thing I googled: george costanza (needed to check that i was identifying him correctly for an image id lol)
current obsession: memorizing the entirety of the unveiling lore book from destiny 2! ive got the first chapter down and the first paragraph of the second, but i mostly do it when it's slow at work and im on register lol so that's longterm.
also putting native shrubs in the yard since the landlord said i could do what i want.
currently working on: eris/ikora lyricstuck set to curses by the crane wives! ive got... 3 of 10 pages done, each of which have 2 illustrations on them.
okay lets see. tagging: @planet4546b @mxsovereign @siyurikspakvariisis @oystermustroom @prismaplex @whatwwwwwww @37q @shawsbear @sotvrna also hi any other mutuals if i didnt tag u pls consider yourselves tagged.
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