#bc i came home from work yesterday to her drinking and it made me super upset so i just hid in bed | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

remmyswritings · 4 years

Text

our secret pt. 4// regulus black x reader

ok so i’ll admit this one definitely has a bit less of regulus x reader dynamic but that’s only bc we see more regulus and sirius / reader and sirius, reader with her best friend Stephanie (surprise @firewhisky-kisses) and then one more towards the end that’s a surprise.... I really hope you all like this one :) <3

taglist: @summer-writes @willowbleedsonpaper @obsessedwithrandomthings @firewhisky-kisses @potterverseimagine @in-slytherin-we-trust @masterofthedarkness @imboredandneedalife @lila-lilakk @strawberriesonsummer @62442-am @nebulablakemurphy @kashishwrites @pcseidcnsvoid @mytreec @curious-curios @jenniweaslee @cherrycolakxsses @peeves-a-legend @booksmusicteaandanimals @heart-of-tempered-steel

part 1

part 2

part 3

“Love,” you looked up from the newspaper to see your husband standing in the kitchen doorway, “what are you still doing here? I thought you said you had to get into the office early.”

“Oh I do,” then you motioned toward the stairs behind him, “but you brother is currently busy hogging all of our hot water.”

Regulus came over and placed a long kiss on your head, “I’m sorry that he’s been staying here for so long darling.”

“Reg, you know that doesn’t bother me, what does is how long he takes in the shower.”

As if you manifested him with your words, Sirius came strutting into the kitchen, his hair still wet from the shower, “Good morning fire + whiskey. What are we discussing on this fine morning?”

You and Regulus both rolled your eyes at the nickname Sirius had given you. When you first heard it, it was when Sirius sat in the middle of your living room completely wasted… that was 4 months ago.

“We were wondering what exactly it is you do in the shower Sirius,” the glint in your eyes shining as brightly as ever, “we might have to start charging you for every shower you take.”

“Alright, I’m sorry,” Sirius ran his hand through his hair, “And thanks for letting me stay here, I really do appreciate it.”

You reminded Sirius, just as you did every morning, that you were fine with him taking over your guest room. You knew that him and Reg both deserved a life where they could actually spend time with another… Now if only you could find someone for Sirius.

After finally being able to take a shower you rushed around, hoping to get to work as soon as possible. When you hopped down the stairs, you found Regulus standing at the door with your bag in hand, “Don’t worry everything is already packed.”

“Have I mentioned how much I love you?” you gave him a chaste kiss on the lips.

“Hmm,” Regulus pulled you in for one more kiss, “I’m not sure, let me get my notebook where I keep track of how many times you tell me you love me.”

Regulus acted as if he were going to carry you back into the house but instead turned you around and set you down on your front porch, “I love you and I hope you have a nice day at work.”

“Do you think I’ll ever have what you two have Reg?” Regulus turned around to see Sirius leaning against the bannister with a look of longing in his eyes.

Regulus nodded his head and squeezed Sirius’ shoulder, “I think you will. Say, I think Y/N might know someone who would be a good fit for you, why don’t you ask her?”

“Are you sure?” Sirius turned to look his brother in the eyes, “When it comes to my wife, I believe in her 10000%.”

While Regulus and Sirius were talking you had apparated near one of the stops on the tube and rushed towards the entrance of the Ministry of Magic. You were grateful to have gotten a job at the Department of International Magical Cooperation when you and Regulus returned to London but you definitely did not like your boss who gave you hell for every little mistake you made. Thankfully you weren’t greeted by him when you walked into the office instead you found your good friend Stephanie there, holding a cup of your favorite caffeinated drink in her hand.

“To what do I owe this greeting today?” You smiled at Stephanie as you grabbed the drink out of her hand.

She smirked, “How about me getting our boss off your back for the rest of the week?”

“I swear Steph, you are the absolute best,” you took a sip of your drink, relishing in the comfort the warmth brought you.

The two of you walked down the hall and towards your desks knowing that the second you sat down you’d be bombarded by your male coworkers asking for you to send notices for them and whatnot. When lunch time rolled around, you and Steph stepped out of the Ministry and headed towards the cafe the two of you found on your first day at work.

“Alright Steph, you haven’t said a word about your date at all,” you looked over at your friend to see her making a face, “So was it really that bad?”

“Ugh,” her head fell into her hands as she groaned, “it was so bad that I don’t have the words to describe how bad it was.”

You thought back to the past couple months of watching Sirius also go on blind dates only for them to all crash and burn, “Do you have any plans this weekend?”

“No, I don’t,” she looked at you to see the twinkle in your eye that let her know you were scheming, “whyyy?”

“Just trust me,” you looked down at your watch, “and would you look at that we have to head back to the office.”

You were so tired when you made it home that you almost forgot about your plan. Well, you almost did until Regulus brought up the question that Sirius had asked him after you had left.

“Would it be crazy if I set up a friend of mine with your brother?” your fingers danced over Regulus’ shoulder and down his arm to meet his hand.

He placed a couple light kisses up and down your neck, “No, I don’t think so. I take it you are talking about Stephanie?”

You hummed in agreement as Regulus slowly trailed up to your jaw, “You should mention her to Sirius tomorrow at breakfast.”

“Ok,” you shifted closer so that instead of resting on the pillows, you used your husband’s chest for support and soon fell asleep.

When you woke up the next morning you found yourself face-to-face with Regulus’ sleeping form. It was rare for you to wake up before him, so you took advantage of the sight in front of you. Your fingers slowly ran up and down his face, trailing down his nose before drawing the outline of his lips. Surprisingly, Regulus hadn’t woken up to your touch, so you brought your lips to his forehead and then his eyelids and then his nose, which is when you finally felt him start to stir.

“Hmm, I could get used to waking up like this,” he muttered, his voice still scratchy from having just woken up.

You started to pepper his jawline with kisses, making sure to avoid his lips knowing that the action would bother him, “Are you sure you want to be woken up like this?”

“Can you please kiss me already?” Regulus whined.

“Mhmm,” you leaned down very slowly, your lips practically touching when you suddenly jumped out of bed, “how about later?”

Regulus whined at the loss of your touch and could only watch as you grabbed your outfit for the day and jumped into the shower. When the hum of the water filled the air he begrudgingly headed towards the kitchen where he found Sirius standing at the counter with a cup of coffee in his hands.

“Good morning, where’s the fire to your whiskey?” Regulus sat down across from his brother, who was making him a cup.

He motioned to the upstairs portion of the house, “She’s currently enjoying our hot water since you aren’t getting wet.”

“That’s nice,” Sirius muttered.

Regulus faced his brother and looked at him inquisitively, “Are you okay Sirius?”

Sirius sighed and rubbed his face with his hands, “I’m not sure… I don’t know. That French girl that I went on a date with a couple weeks ago stopped by yesterday to talk and she said she doesn’t quite understand why I acted as if I wanted an actual relationship with her, but that is what I wanted!”

“Hey,” Regulus spoke softly, “You’ll find that person.”

“And how can you be so sure about that Reg? Whenever I find someone who seems interested, turns out all they want is a good fuck and that may have been what I wanted a couple years ago but not anymore,” Sirius groaned in frustration.

“Well,” Regulus hesitated, “Y/N told me last night that she’s been thinking about setting you up with a friend of hers at the office. She thinks you’ll be good for one another.”

When Regulus finished the sentence, you appeared at the doorway of the kitchen, “I heard my name. Are you trying to summon me darling?”

“Love,” Regulus pulled you into his arms, “I was just mentioning your friend to Sirius.”

“Oh perfect!” You turned to face Sirius, noting how disheartened he looked, “Sirius, I really do think she’ll be perfect for you.”

Sirius nodded his head, “What is she like?”

“Well her name is Stephanie, she was a Puff back at Hogwarts. She’s a super loyal person, honest, and very strong and quite frankly she has this adorableness to her but she isn’t willing to get dirty if need be,” you watched as Sirius' eyes lit up at her description, “and she wants to be with someone who will accept her for who she is completely.”

“Do you think she’d like me?” Sirius’ voice sounded so vulnerable.

You nodded, “I think she’d love you. Why don’t you come up with some date ideas with Reg and I’ll see if she’s free this weekend.”

Looking at the time, you rushed over and gave Sirius a big hug before you and Regulus met at the front door where you gave him a long kiss on the lips and the two of you said your goodbyes and I love yous.

Sirius soon came up with just the idea for his date and after begging slightly to his younger brother he set up your backyard with a multitude of fairy lights. After sending a letter to you before lunch time, you convinced Stephanie to stop by your place for dinner and made sure to let her know that she wouldn’t be having dinner with you and Regulus.

When you arrived home to see what Sirius had created, you knew your suspicions were right and confidently left Sirius alone as you took Regulus out to muggle London with you. As you and your husband went to the movie theater, Stephanie arrived at your house all dressed up.

She knocked on the door only to her surprise for Sirius Black to open the door for her, “Hello.”

“Hi Stephanie, I’m Sirius,” he opened the door further, “Why don’t you come on in?”

She walked into the house to see that the fairy lights had been extended to the main hallway, filling the room with a golden shimmer. When she made it to the kitchen, she saw that Sirius was still preparing dinner, “I hope you don’t mind waiting a bit.”

“No not at all. What are you making?” She leaned in closer, the smell consuming her every thought as she ended up with her chest pressing against Sirius’ back.

He turned to see her standing so close to him but in a way that was different from how his previous dates did, “oh, it’s this pasta recipe that Y/N mentioned you really liked. I hope I do it justice to be honest with you.”

“The fact that you are even making me dinner right now, is absolutely amazing,” she took a deep breath in, “and it smells really good.”

A couple minutes later, Sirius levitated some plates over and served dinner for the both of them, but instead of heading towards the dining table he led Stephanie to the backyard where he had set up a table for two.

“I hope you don’t mind being outside,” Sirius blushes slightly as Stephanie stood at the doorway in shock at the sight in front of her, “I just knew that the stars would look extra beautiful tonight and I wanted to share that with you.”

Stephanie finally turned to Sirius, “This is the best thing anyone has done for me before.”

The two of them sat down and conversed for hours on end. Even after they had finished their food, and Y/N and Regulus had returned from their night out, and Sirius brought out a blanket for the two of them to stargaze for a while. They were so caught up in one another they hadn’t even realized that they’d fallen asleep in one another’s arms, only to wake up the next morning with the sun shining in their faces.

“I’m so sorry,” Sirius looked down bashfully, “I didn’t mean to keep you here with me all night.”

Stephanie reached out and cupped Sirius’ face, “Sirius, I had the most amazing time last night and not once did I think about wanting to leave.”

“Could- could we do this again sometime?” Sirius looked at Stephanie with a face that reminded her of puppy dog eyes.

She nodded, “I’d love to… that is if you’d like to.”

“Ya, ya,” he nodded his head eagerly, “I’d love to as well.”

#remmys writings #regulus black x reader #regulus black imagine #regulus black #regulus black x y/n #regulus x reader #sirius black #sirius black x steph #sirius black x boo 💛

153 notes · View notes

cherryrogers · 4 years

Text

Falling For You.

— Chapter 9

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

(Modern High School AU)

Warnings: Swearing, tiny bit of angst?? sorta fluffy.

Synopsis: Unlike most teenagers, you had your life completely mapped out. You’d graduate high school, go off to the university of your dreams, and live the life that your parents always wanted you to. That was always the plan.

Falling for Bucky Barnes, however, was never part of that plan.

Being ‘just friends’ isn’t enough. Becoming anything more is too much. But suppressed feelings can’t stay ignored forever, and you were about to learn that a lot sooner than you thought

Inspired by the song ‘Fallingforyou’ - The 1975

A/N: okay so i’m sorry this is like a week late oof but here we are!! this ones a little shorter but just bc i didn’t feel like it needed anything else?? and i’ve rewritten it like ten times but we eventually came through and finished so please enjoy :) next chapter will be better,,, i’m excited.

Series Masterlist

_______________________________________________

A content sigh left your lips as you stepped through the familiar glass doors of the large building, not having seen them for some while. The library had always acted as a safe place for you; it was a place where you could study quietly without distraction, a place where there was a textbook on anything and everything, a place where your parents weren’t, which always tended to be a good thing.

It was 8:02am. If Bucky knew you were there so early on the first day of Winter break, he’d physically collect you himself from the library and take you back home so that you could get back into bed, where every other teenager was at that time of morning. And if it wasn’t him that was teasing you about it, it’d be Wanda or Pietro.

However, you weren’t currently on great terms with either of the three, so it looked like you could spend time at the library in peace.

You’d barely been able to sleep the night before, the events of the Winter Formal refusing to leave your mind for a second while you tried to drift into a place where you momentarily forgot about everything. After waking up at 7am and not being sure when you actually managed to fall asleep, you presumed that there was no point in even trying to shut your eyes again. You needed to busy your brain with something, and what was your go-to way of distracting yourself from your problems? Studying, which is why you didn’t waste any time dropping your school bag down on the the table at the back of the library and pulling out your pens and paper, ready to revise in an attempt to ease your worries.

Time seemed to work differently when you studied. You felt like you hadn’t been sat down five minutes colour-coding your notes and answering practice questions before your phone started buzzing on the table next to you, and the corners of you mouth upturned as Wanda’s name appeared across the screen.

The ride home from the dance was awkward, to say the least. However, you were thankful when Vis approached the table where you were sat alone in the school hall with a sympathetic smile, letting you know that he was about to take Wanda home and that you were welcome to hitch a ride too. Frankly, you thought you sort of deserved to have to walk home in heels amid the dark, bitter night, but even though Wanda wasn’t too happy with you, you knew that she wouldn’t let you do that.

“Wanda, hey.” You breathed out, nerves beginning to build up in your stomach.

“Hi, (Y/N).” The girl replied in a tone you couldn’t quite decipher. “Uh, how are you?”

The question surprised you a little, since you’d imagined that she’d probably still be a little sour towards you. “I’m okay, I guess.” That was a lie, but the conversation wasn’t meant to be about you or your feelings surrounding the dance. “Look, I’m really sorry about last night. It was selfish of me to leave Pietro alone and... and-”

“You don’t have to apologise.” Wanda cut you off, not wanting you to talk about Bucky just yet if you didn’t want to. “Not to me, anyway. It was none of my business what you were doing with Bucky, and sorry for accusing you of making out with him, that was immature of me. I just wanted to defend my brother.”

“It’s okay, I can imagine that it looked like... something it wasn’t.” The moment replayed in your mind for the thousandth time, and you pushed it out quickly. “But you had a right to be mad. Is Pietro alright?”

The girl paused for a second. “I’m don’t know, honestly. He hasn’t really talked about the dance, but he did see you disappear with Bucky yesterday. I think you should talk to him, (Y/N).”

“I know, and I will, but I’m not exactly sure when would be the best time to...” The situation was completely new to you, since you’d never had to deal with boy troubles of your own before. God, this is exactly why you didn’t get involved with boys. All you could think about was sorting things out with Pietro and then sorting things with Bucky. There was a part of you that longed to go back to junior year, when all you did was study your ass off, when you could actually ignore your feelings for Bucky.

“He’ll be at Val’s party on Friday, are you going?”

Truthfully, you weren’t planning on going. You’d gotten the text from Val, but hadn’t really given her an answer as to whether you’d attend or not. Unless you’d talked to Bucky and he wanted you to be there to make sure he didn’t drink too much, then there wasn’t really any reason for you to go. Being the only fully sober person at a party wasn’t fun, and if you still hadn’t sorted things with Bucky, then it would only hurt to see him there, assuming that he’d be going.

However, after texting Pietro to ask if he was okay once you’d gotten back from the dance and getting no reply, it seemed like the party might’ve been the only place you could catch him and pull him aside to talk in person. If you managed to talk to him there, then you could leave as soon as it was done.

“Uh, yeah. I’ll talk to him then.”

“Good.” Wanda sighed happily through the phone. “Do you... wanna talk about what happened with Bucky?”

You hesitated for a moment, but decided against talking about him with her just yet. If you were going to talk to Bucky, you didn’t want anyone else’s thoughts on the situation conflicting yours. You needed to deal with him yourself; you could fill Wanda in later. “I’m gonna talk to him first. I told him that I’d text him and... I’m gonna text him now; he doesn’t deserve to be left in the dark for any longer.”

“Okay, I’ll let you get straight to it. It’ll all work out, (Y/N), I’m sure of it.”

“I hope you’re right, Wanda. Thank you.” The last part of your sentence came out as a whisper as you ended the call.

Great, now you had one of your best friends back.

The time read 11:17am. If Bucky wasn’t awake, then that was just tough. After mending things with Wanda and planning to apologise to Pietro on Friday, you were determined fix things with Bucky too.

You let out a deep exhale as you selected his contact, typed out a text and shakily hit the send button.

You: Hey, Buck. Could we meet at Carter’s in an hour?

He knew that it’d be to talk, you didn’t even have to put that in your message. You felt your phone ping within minutes of you sending the text.

Bucky: sure, i’ll see you then

The conversation you were about to have was definitely long overdue. If you could’ve told your sixteen year old self that you were actually going to talk about your feelings for Bucky with the boy himself, you wouldn’t have believed it in a million years.

But that’s exactly what you were about to do, and you were terrified.

* * *

“Hey, Peggy. Could I get two coffees, please?”

The sound of his voice made your eyes shoot up from the table. You mustn’t have heard the bell chime as he walked into the diner, your focus being on what the hell you were going to say to him.

Moments later, Bucky was sliding into the booth and sitting directly across from you. Leaning back in your seat, you allowed yourself to look up at the boy. He looked... unlike himself. A smile wasn’t playing on his lips like usual, his fingers were tapping against the table in a nervous manner, and his eyes didn’t resemble a clear blue sky like they always did.

Peggy quickly brought over the drinks, shooting Bucky a sympathetic smile as she walked away, noticing her friends’ slightly unhappy expression. Was it because of you? Were you the one that took the light from his eyes? The thought made you feel terrible, like someone was tugging harshly on your heart strings.

You decided that you’d be the first one to speak after taking a small sip of your hot coffee. It was you who arranged the meeting, anyway. “I’m sorry about last night, Bucky. It... it freaked me out when Wanda found us and I became super aware that we were about to kiss and-”

“Sweets,” He intervened, the pet name making you feel warmer than the drink in your hands. His expression softened as he noticed your anxious demeanour. “Remember, uh... remember when we said that we wouldn’t hide anything from each other anymore?”

You nodded, not entirely sure of where he was leading the conversation.

“Well, last night when I tried to kiss you... that was me trying not to hide anymore.”

It still didn’t feel real. Having Bucky try to kiss you and then tell you that he likes you in the span of two days felt like a dream. Good or bad, you weren’t necessarily sure.

There was a short silence while you thought about what the boy had just admitted, and he didn’t attempt to break it. Bucky knew that the whole situation had you pretty overwhelmed, and the last thing that he wanted to do was make you feel like you couldn’t express how you really felt about it.

Anxiety was bubbling in your mind; you could tell by the way your foot was tapping quickly against the tiled floor and how your could barely stop biting your bottom lip, along with the thoughts of school, your parents and ultimately your future putting doubts in your head about letting Bucky in and confessing how you felt. You tried to ignore them as best as you could, but they were still there, taunting you like devils on your shoulder.

“I wanted to kiss you.” You confessed, feeling your body ease at the sight of Bucky’s eyes lighting up. “I tried to tell myself that I didn’t, that’s why I was about to pull away. I wanted to, though - I know I did.”

Now it was Bucky’s turn to process things. He should’ve been jumping for joy. You just said that you wanted to kiss him, which meant he wasn’t an absolute idiot for attempting to trying to make a move on you. However, the boy knew it wasn’t so simple. He knew that there was probably hundreds of doubts and worries in your head at that moment, and that maybe things weren’t going to work out just yet. “I mean, I’m glad, but... why do I have a feeling there’s a catch?”

He knew you too well. “But... it can’t happen again.”

A crinkle formed in his brows. Well, that certainly took the smile off his face. “(Y/N)-”

You sighed, taking a quick sip of your coffee in attempt to calm your nerves. Perhaps telling him that you wanted to kiss him was a mistake. You should’ve just told him off the bat that nothing could happen so that you could go back to your regular life and he could go back to his. “Bucky, you know it can’t-”

“You wanted to kiss me too, (Y/N).” Bucky’s jaw was clenched slightly, a silent indication that he was pleading for you to tell him how you really felt, whether it would hurt him or not. He exhaled slowly, noticing how his words slipped through gritted teeth and relaxing his expression. “Doesn’t that mean something to you?”

“I mean, yeah, it does.” You raised your voice slightly, a little frustrated that he didn’t remotely understand where you were coming from. “It means that for some stupid reason, we decided that we wanted to kiss each other and completely forget that we’re just friends.”

Bucky couldn’t help but let out a laugh, much to your annoyance. The both of you knew what you said was frankly bullshit, but you weren’t exactly going to admit that.

“What?”

“I don’t think you’re telling the whole truth.”

“I am telling the whole truth.”

“No, you’re not.” The boy shook his head. “I know you; this isn’t you being honest, this is you holding things back because you’re scared.”

He wasn’t meant to say that last part, but he didn’t exactly regret saying it either. Bucky wasn’t oblivious to the fact that your parents made it impossible for you to express your true feelings, but you’d just admitted that you wanted to kiss him, and that was something. He wasn’t giving up on you that easily, even if it required some tough love.

Your eyes narrowed at him. “You’re right; you do know me, which is why you know that this...” You motioned your hand between the two of you. “...you and me, shouldn’t be anything more than what we already are. That ‘almost kiss’ shouldn’t have happened.”

“But it did.” Bucky stated, an unmissable flash of hurt in his baby blues which made your stomach turn. You were hurting him with every word that came from your mouth, which was exactly what you never wanted to happen.

“Bucky, I don’t know what you want me to say, but I’m not going to tell you that I have feelings for you.”

“Because you don’t have feelings for me? Or because you’re afraid of what’ll happen if you do?”

You could feel your bottom lip beginning to quiver, a feeling so foreign to you that it took you by surprise. Were you about to cry? Yeah, there no way that was happening. He’d hit a soft spot, and he’d done it on purpose. You didn’t want to lie to him, but fuck, if you didn’t want to just bolt from your seat in the booth and pretend that you’d never even invited him to Carter’s...

“Because we’re both just gonna get hurt in the end, and I care about you too much to do that to you.”

The words left your lips faster than you could even process them, but it was true. You knew Bucky well, and you were sure that he’d be a great boyfriend someday, to someone who deserved him. It didn’t matter how much you wanted to grab him and kiss him, or how much time you could spend just staring at his smile; you weren’t girlfriend material. How could you possibly love someone and let yourself be vulnerable in front of them when you’d never been taught how to express your feelings? Suppressing them was unfortunately the only thing your parents had taught you from a young age. They never prepared you for when you actually found someone that you considered wanting to open up to.

Natahsa’s words replayed in your head. Whatever stopped you from kissing him shouldn’t matter if you care about him. And she was right; all the thoughts about your parents and school and opening yourself up shouldn’t matter at all with Bucky. But they did. They haunted your mind every single day, and Bucky didn’t deserve having the burden of them fall onto him too.

The boy opposite you had went quiet, eyebrows furrowed in thought and lips pursed nervously. It was at the point you decided that the conversation was over. You weren’t sure what would become of you and Bucky, whether you’d be able to fix your friendship, or whether things were only going to fall apart even more. The latter option hurt to even think about, but you didn’t think you could rule it out at that point.

You chugged the rest of your coffee and began to slide you way out of the booth, regretting even showing your face at the stupid Winter Formal. If you hadn’t have went, everything would still be the same, and that’s what you wanted. You wanted everything to go back to normal, right?

“Wait.” Bucky suddenly shot up from his seat, his hand encircling your wrist before you could pace towards the exit of the diner. There was an apologetic glint in his eye, and his lips were pressed into a straight line. “Where does this leave us?”

The corner of your lips raised ever so slightly into a sad smile. “I don’t know, Buck. I just need time to think, and I think you do too.”

His hand dropped from your arm to reach into his pocket, pulling out a ten dollar bill and placing it on the table where your two lone coffee cups sat. “I already know how I feel about you, (Y/N); I’ve known since the moment you rejected my ass last year.”

A weak chuckle fell from your lips as the memory reappeared in your mind. You’d felt really bad after that day, knowing that you felt the same for him but you’d shut him down anyway. Bucky hadn’t minded, though. He knew at that time that your parents had a massive hold over you, and that a relationship of any type definitely wasn’t on the cards for you. However, things weren’t the same anymore. You weren’t wanting to follow in your parents footsteps any longer, and you and Bucky knew more about each other than you did yourselves. Back then, Bucky could deal with just being your friend, but he wasn’t sure if that was true anymore.

“Would you hate me if I said I didn’t want something more?” You asked tentatively, your eyes meeting his. “If I said that we should just stay friends?”

You and him both knew that was the opposite of what you wanted, but you had to ask. If you were at risk of losing Bucky all together because you were too afraid of your own feelings for him, then you needed to know, and you needed to hear it from him.

The boy shook his head with a shy smile. “I could never hate you, sweets.”

After a few moments of quiet, you nodded slowly before beginning to turn to the exit of the diner again, feeling a little relieved at his answer. There was nothing else for you to say on your part, all you needed now was time. Time to think, time to process, time away from the boy that you only wanted to spend all of your time with.

“But... I don’t think we could ever just be friends.”

The words made you pause your movement for a short second, and Bucky didn’t have to see your face to know that they’d struck a chord, because he was right. He was completely fucking right and you had no idea what to do about it.

You and Bucky could never just be friends again after the dance, and frankly, you’d never been just friends. There was always a part of you that wanted more with him, and a part of him that wanted more with you. Even though you couldn’t see it then, you could see it now clear as day.

Refusing to turn back around, you continued towards the doors of the diner, and soon enough you were out of Bucky’s sight.

The boy couldn’t lie to himself; he was scared shitless. The conversation that you’d just had with him could’ve been the last, for all he knew. You could ultimately decide that he isn’t what you want. You could cut him out of your life with the snap of your fingers if you really wanted to. It was your decision to make, and Bucky had done all he could to try and convince you that there was nothing wrong with choosing him.

Even if you didn’t want him, even if you decided you didn’t want anything more with him and that his feelings for you had just amounted to nothing, he’d be okay. It would take some time, but he’d be alright eventually, because he didn’t regret anything that had happened between the two of you from the moment you’d met each other.

Meeting you was the thing that Bucky was most grateful for in this world, and despite whatever was going to happen next, falling for you was something that Bucky would never live to regret.

* * *

Taglist:

@americas-ass-assins @itz-kira @stevieboyharrington @lovvliies @bxrnsfeyson @broco8

#bucky barnes #bucky #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky x you #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes reader insert

53 notes · View notes

shytiff · 3 years

Text

Jan 2021 Wins

ive “journaled” for 6 months now. it started as small ___ wins because when you feel rly empty, even doing the bare minimum feels like a win. written down some of the wins. i think until now i’d like to keep the “win” part. a win against my shadow sometimes. a win in life. some things to be grateful for. a win for remembering it later in the future. i know some days im just basically doing nothing. there are a lot of wars not won by me. but im still tryna ✨manifest✨

1 - woke up. watched bts’ 2021 seasons greetings. read trap city. afternoon nap. pupuy’s mbah passed away. i got DOMS in my body even though i did the barest of exercise yesterday (frail, i know). shower, matcha latte.

2 - the x banner atikah and i sent for racil post thesis defense has arrived lmaoo. mom made delicious (and sweet) fried banana. did some studying (more than usual, bcs the bar is on the floor)

3 - ate muesli, 3 risols. Kopsus coklat at flavola. Stayed there from 12-ish to 17:30 lmaooo. weekly bahas soal w/ fi. Rapat nemo

4 - first day of collab module. Barely cicil ukmppd. My mood is normal-ish but i hardly have the will to study. Dinner is fried fish with mentai sauce, potato wedges, and saladdd by mom

5 - collab module, qa presentation for rsui reps. finished reviewing tryout 2 solid. did padi pretest (got 66,5). ate chicken porridge, a bit of muesli and vsoy, tan ek tjoan bread, matcha latte, fish and chicken and potato wedges and salad, fried banana. i ate well today lol.

6 - slept during collab webinar, went to clara’s place to study osce and attended padi together. i ate well at clara’s placeee lol. ate nastar, kusuka, white kwetiaw with soup (?), and lele goreng. went back home @ 9 pm. i feel refreshed. even though we’ve half studied half mukbang all day. human interaction rly does heal me. i need human interaction more than i think. at night i dreamed about going to bali, to waterparks, seeing sea creatures, watching a movie displayed on a concert-like stage and screen at the front row.

7 - woke up at 07:55, finished my part for collab group work. felt a bit tired today. the rest of fam went to DM, and when they were on the way back i HURRIED my way out, not even taking a shower lmaoo. got pistachio matcha latte at starbucks dm. now im more skilled in searching the best spot in a cafe to distance myself from people lmao. the matcha latte is served with some sort of pistachio cream and sprinkled with nuts on top. its like when sbux had taro matcha latte and it had purple cream on top. the pistachio taste is quite strong. reviewed TO 1 padi, sent proposals for nemo sponsorship.

8 - did syndrome try out and padi 2 web try out. studied for osce and padi @ clara’s place. wanted to order pizza since clara bought me food before, but she insisted in ordering lmaoo. so dinner is pizza hut

9 - woke up at 11.00 lmao. havent had breakfast. lunch is muesli with the brand new delishhh chocolate granola and cimory banana milk. did one shot try out, got 71. had a google meet with Prof Agus (that ethics book ghostwriting job from a year ago is not finished until now huaaa) that went from 20.00ish and finished at 22.30,,,,, reviewed syndrome try out along the way. havent made my collab self reflection hhhh. i also need to study for osce. also havent edited article for bukang solid. and there goes my saturday nooo

10 - i swear i keep waking up late lmao. Flavola w atikah, racheel later came with wawa. Kopsus coklat and ukmppd class w dr yudo. After class i just talked at flavola (and ended not studying osce at all for sunday). Went to racheel's to pray and talk some more. Hurriedly went back for booty call with fi, watched konser dies natalis first. Tryout and sum study with fi and clar that went from 20:30 to 00:10. Powered by left over kopsus and 2 snackit pia. Rip my sleeping schedule

11 - woke up at 10:30 ish, the lack of meal and horrible sleep pattern (for my standard) produced stuffy nose during the day and a bit of headache that went away for a bit after i ate. Late bfast is muesli, drank protein, ate tan ek tjoan, plus 2 brownies in the evening. Tht coaching w dr niken. Did self reflection for collab. Had dinner without rice, as usual. Ukmppd class w dr ayu. Finished reflection at 21:30 lmao (deadline is 23:55). Tryna sleep and my nose is still itchy and i sneeze a more often. i hope it goes away 2mrw

12 - DV coaching, scele tryout, took a nap before padi cause my head kind of hurts. Les padi while drinking matcha with vsoy less sugar and no added sugar. I can withstand the horrible sugarless cy matcha taste bcs theres a taste of soy. Didnt do anything else. Havent studied osce on my own until now. Astagfirullah

13 - my head still kind of aches. Its goes away when im eating. im eating so well during the weekdays that i gained 2kgs lmao. lazed around the first half of the day. padi. finally tried saint matcha and damnn its an amazing upgrade from Cy matcha. the green color is super different yall. Cy’s green looks sick and tired compared to saint matcha. the taste? immaculate (although coco deli is more fragrant). caffeine? hits. awake and feel normal? yes. messaged an ao3 author and got replied and turns out she’s making a sequel for my fav fic of hers. yay

14 - osce practice w ara ren ness. bedah and anak osce coaching. had 3 of mom’s cinnamon rolls and matcha latte for the afternoon. cicil osce DV. edited some pld articles. did nothing else basically

15 - wasted my day, didnt have the courage to study osce (i feel like i procrastinate on it bcs it feels overwhelming to me), TO FKUI 2, hurriedly reviewed to 1 before, les padi. i feel like this is the least focused im being in a les. maybe its the too few matcha powder.

16 - woke up at 9 am. breakfast is muesli. reviewed to 2 fkui w apa salahku (finished at 12 pm, there goes half of my saturday). tried fried chicken master. its good and tender but i still prefer moon chicken.

17 - breakfast is muesli, banana and 2 martabak tahu. snack is keripik pisang aduuu wenak (and picking bits of meat cooked by mom). went to devi’s place w/ racheel silvi. brought RJ to be wrapped. we watched okay madam and its super fun, hilarious and full of twists anddd a bit of cutesy romance. just the right balance to enjoy and let the stress out. late lunch is moon chicken yay!! went home after maghrib, did to padi 6 w/ fi and matcha latte. talked about a senior’s wedding and eating healthier til 22:30

18 - To fkui 3, wasted my afternoon playing my phone, finally mustered some will to study after ashar. My progress is rly slow today. Watched hilarious jessi interview with eric, heechul. Im telling u, i thought tiktok is the funniest internet content but i was wronggg. Seeing heechul flustered is hilarious. Tried to study again at night but only learned 1 disease hiks

19 - had no idea what i did before dzuhur lmao. went to racheel’s to surprise atikah. actually napped at her place lmaoo why do i feel so sleepy. gifted rj to atikah. we ate fried chicken master and pempek on a small green table and talked. its like korean movie lmao. we talked while im simultaneously listening to padi lol.

20 - woke up at 8, chicken porridge + muesli and low sugar vsoy for breakfast. arrived at clara’s @10am. to fkui 4. reviewed it. reviewed general physical exam. finished up to padi 7. tried bombo donut. studied osce. i felt sooo dumb in osce (and clara is already super smart). superrr motivated to learn after going back home (arrived at 7) but i ended up opening youtube and drinking protein lmaooo and its suddenly 9 pm

21 - matcha latte at starbucks dm. Studied osce. Obgyn coaching w the super kind dr ilham. Les padi. Read angel buddy and played with my phone til 12 pm

22 - to fkui. padi as usual. had low motivation, so i did the tryout that day close to the actual course.

23 - left home at 06:30 to study together in capitol. had breakfast in mcd first. thank god i ate rice + chicken and breakfast wrap cuzzzz. studied osce together w ara, ical, kelvyn, dio and kak ilonka til about 2 pm. WALKED to bk bcs my parents are there. apparently simply driving to capitol is too much for them. immediately ate muesli at 4 pm cause i didnt eat anything in capitol. did nothing else after that. did not pray maghrib together lmao somehow mom had mercy on me and let me sleep som more. mom bought sate padang but i didnt eat it. i cried in bed because as yoongi said, “this is the real you and this is the real me”. did not shower/wash my face at night bcs i felt like shit lmao rip my face (its a week before bukang photoshoot)

24 - i feel tired, lazy, and just wanted some sleep. like all that’s in me is drained. ate muesli with strawberry milk. tried fitmee beef. its better than i thought. because the noodle is chewy you spend more time to chew. also ate fried chicken and daun singkong. usually i cant wait to go to flavola but even at 12 pm i just feel like laying down. finally mustered the will to shower and go out. its raining a bit on the way. colddd.

25 - to fkui 6, osce briefing, covid lecture (that was actually for ppds), padi

26 - spaghetti for brekkie, coaching neuro and ophthalmology, cicil osce

27 - cicil osce, the second to the last padi omg. the fastest padi ever

28 - obgyn osce practice at kak ilonka’s place (that nice kosan at forkabi) with ara, ren ness, kelvyn, dio with mannequins from og dept, tried meokja salemba that serves bulgogi rice. quite good. after arriving at home, studied neuro together with menno til about 20:45 an and i just dont have the energy lmaooo so i gave up and slept

29 - today is bukang photoshoot at bintaro. put base make up on the way. even put glue on my eyebrow. got eyebrow, eyeshadow and blush done by renata. took lots of photos. nebeng om coro afterwards to bxc to meet mom. we ate at genki sushi (renata ara kris mendel oca regan geordie eka). i missss road trips hua. did tryout fkui on the way back home. after shower and prayer proceeded to review TO with apa salahku. Last padi (havent done the questions beforehand so i sprinted it out while on the actual course). Muhasabah osce with kak widia afterwards lmao. Studied osce with clara

30 - studied osce with ara ren ness @ merra. I ate eatlah, moms muffin, kemplang, tango. I ate so welll. Its a productive sesh, neuro and infectious disease. At home i studied osce w clara til abt 22:15 ish. I feel like i miss my me time lmao its been 3 days. I can still go on w clara but i dont wanna get myself sick

31 - simul osce in the morning. Osce study with clara almira. Cicil osce alone. Played my phone at 10 pm even though i still have mental clarity post matcha latte -___-

1 note · View note

nako-doodles · 5 years

Text

➴ 6 Facts

i was tagged by my love and sweetheart @kimlineswife to ramble about my self for a couple really boring minutes 🌸🌸

also: im really rambly and this post is a lot longer than i thought it would be so everything is under the cut 💖💖

1. i have really good relative pitch.

if you give me a reference note and then play me any other note, i can tell you which note it is, what interval and chord progression the second note is in comparison to the first, and if it’s out of tune. one of my best friends has perfect pitch, so when we go out together, we like guessing and harmonizing to different sounds from the city. another side effect of this is that random sounds trigger my dj brain into getting different songs stuck in my brain. yesterday at work, one of my coworkers tapped her pen and clicked her mouse and literally my brain went ‘uchiage hanabi, but like to the instrumental of i need u.’ this was great when i still had to do ear training for the rcm examinations, but is terribly annoying in everyday life. it also makes me sound super pretentious but classical-trained pianist struggles, amirite? i still want a refund.

2. ‘food is my only extravagance.’

andy warhol is many things, and in this case, correct. food has always been one of my favorite things to partake in, both for the sheer pleasure of tasting the joy and love of living, and also in sharing of that exuberance and happiness with loved ones. im pretty sure that if food was a love language, it would be mine. i love (obviously) eating good food, feeding others good food, making good food, watching others make good food...just food man. fantastic. natural selection really fucking snapped when she made eating the primary way to gain sustenance 800 million years ago (even tho is absolutely is not how natural selection works shuSH).12/10 recommend.

3. 98% of my motivation is powered by spite. the other 2% is pettiness.

a lot of my old elementary school teachers thought i was intellectually lacking and [insert learning disability here] and ‘resistant to learning’ and were generally really dismissive of my learning capabilities. i remember distinctively during a parent teacher conference my mom was told (thru an interpreter) to home school me bc i was too slow for the curriculum. i think part of the reason why im this nerdy and talk like an english professor who got lobotomized by a pulverized sat vocab list is bc my early teachers gave up on me. ngl i scoured the internet to add my old esl teacher on fb just so i would send her my ap lit and ap lang scores. i have some of the fastest reading skills amongst my friends, the results of which i also kindly provided for my old teacher.

in fact, im pretty sure my knees would still be functioning if i didn’t take every single sport that i was interested in bc my uncle said that girls shouldn’t be into sports. and my old hs dean still has conniptions everytime he remembers my senior year class schedule. (strongly suggest against taking more than 3 aps at once? fucking WATCH ME take 5 ap classes at once) they set a limit to how many ap classes you could take at my hs bc of me. i mean 15 ap classes and 17 tests is a lot but that’s what you get for saying i couldn’t do it. really puts a new perspective to never say never in front of me.

4. i keep a white board in the shower bc all my best ideas come when im showering.

case and point: this url came to me one day when I was belting to beyoncé in the shower and went ‘you know what would make this moment better? if i had a super pretentious cocktail. like a sakura highball. or a grapefruit friends w benefit rose. or lavender cachaca lemonade.’ ah. the good ol’ days of when i could still drink. i used to plan out my entire college schedule and 20 pg essays and studying while showering...which is terrible for the environment but fantastic for my productivity.

5. i hate audiobooks.

i enjoy reading and taking things my own pace and creating character voices while i read. audiobooks makes me feel like im being dictated how to think and how to imagine and how to sculpt an authors words instead of with my own hands. and like, isn't most of academia and adulthood and life just being dictated to? let me have this one piece of joy for myself. i also know people who like having audiobooks as white noise, to which i offer The Complete Videography of Jenna Marbles and Julien Solomita as my rebuttal. i also like keeping educational youtube channels like art assignment, or deep look, or crash course, or pbs eons, or nerdyandquirky in the bg while i work. in case anyone really doubted how nerdy i am.

6. my pt stretches are satanic rites to summon sisyphean levels of eternal suffering

i have pt stretches that i have to do to keep my body from falling apart, twice daily, as prescribed, and literally every time i do them i feel myself fading. i know they're important for me, and i always feel awful and miserable when i miss one, but literally the entire process of stretching feels like im tearing myself apart to be laid as a benefaction of some frida kalho kafkaesque feast for the demon. it also doesn't help that i sound like some horror movie possessed doll extra with the way my joints keep cracking and clicking. sometimes i play mozart’s requiem and pop my neck to the cello/alto section bc i have a shit sense of humor and also if im gonna have to remold my earthly container like some fool trying to kintsugi humpty dumpty’s pieces back together, i might as well be dramatic as fuck. im pretty sure my dad thinks im performing some crepuscular satanic rite when i do my evening stretches, and sometimes, when my band snaps, i wonder the exact same thing.

---

phew~ thank you for making to the end of this. i know i talk a lot, thank you for making it to the end. this was as difficult to write as it was to read.

i tag my lovelies: @t0d-oder-freiheit @seokjinsult @cafejoon @dejayoo @jincentvangogh @suggable @moonsnail @yunkisunbae @httpsleepybun 🌸

#this entire post: me complaining. love it.#I had a really onerous extended metaphor about Orpheus being torn apart and Orion being hung up in the stars and being a scorpio #but im not going to subject y'all to it #hey io thank you for tagging me and constantly texting me that stream of Pokemon. much appreciated #hash tag games

6 notes · View notes

chubbychummy · 5 years

Text

Positive Week

This past week, I have spent only 2 out of 5 work days in the lab. I have otherwise been at some course in centre city (it’s about an hour away).This has been a good change of pace for me and tbh it just kind of pushes back the work I need to be doing but I think it is a much needed break.

Also a good chance for me to socialise — as I live outside of city centre, it is usually a lot of time/effort for me to get into the city. I have to plan for it. But spending all day here for the course, I was able to do things I would not have otherwise been able to doTuesday afternoon during the lunch break, I ran all over the city going to pharmacies trying to find T which apparently ran out of stock in all of France. I didn’t get all that I needed but it was enough so that was awesome. I won’t have to worry about that again til May.

Thursday, I had the chance to use my lunch break to change my transportation plan from monthly unlimited to what I should have had to begin with: pay as you go. I seldom use public transport since I usually just use my bike. I would have saved about 20€ a month which is nothing to shy from. But I won’t look at sunk costs I spent hat I could have saved. Just nice knowing that starting in May I will start saving money from this change ^^ I should have changed it many months ago (like a full year ago), but again, life came up and it’s hard to juggle everything I have going on. I’m just happy that in the future, I will not be spending unnecessary money on this

Tuesday evening I met up with Delphine. We just sat around and chatted for a bit - it was really low key. She was catsitting for a few days and I got to hang out with a super adorable and nice black longhair kitty (named Negro lmaoooo so they just call him bébéchat) Anyhow it was super super low key but it always just puts me in a good mood to see her. Later that night I went to the bar to a regular meetup type deal and chatted with some new folks I have not met before. Also relatively low key but it was just nice. ^^ Wednesday was a very inefficient day hahahh. (Monday was super super efficient- I worked essentially nonstop from 9am-7pm barely stopping for food. But I was on a good roll. Wednesday was not so efficient hahahh. But that’s okay.) crashed Wednesday night at 8:30pm and had a first long sleep in a week, which was good and my body needed it.Thursday back to the course — but it was a new course! Actually by the same instructor! I had not originally signed up for it but wanted to attend. And she said that she was looking for more students so I was welcome! Which was cool! Upside: I get to complete this course and add like 18h more to my training repertoire, it is in English so it’s easy for me, I am already familiar with the instructor, etc. downside: I still have some administrative stuff I need to sort out in centre city but I literally don’t have the time unless I take a vacation day to get it done, but I feel like I have too much work rn to try to take any day off in the next two weeks. This is my visa and residence permit thing. I needed to have done this two weeks ago hah. But anyhow. It was good that I got in this course - and how!

So there were two girls in this course also, one of whom talked to me (she’s very very talkative) and it was awesome! which is not very typical of a French person, but she did and it was awesome. (She is also fluent in German!)Anyhow the course was very cool and frankly I just felt good about the interactions. ÚwÙ Thursday evening, I had the second to last operation for my tooth surgery shitPutting in the anchor — it was back close to where I live which is 1hr away. So I hopped back on the tram then bus and made it there, got it done (it was fast!!) and it was only 19h20. There was some thing I had in my google calendar in centre city I thought I couldn’t go to cuz of the dentist thing but it was at 19h30, and honestly knowing French people, people always arrive fashionably late. So if I hopped right back on a bus/Tram from the dentist, I could get back to centre city by ~8pm so I did just that

The thing in my google calendar was at the Maison de Chercheurs, but my lab was having an outing elsewhere. So I figured okay, i would go to the one with the people from my lab. Tbh it wasn’t super great for me but also I’m still super glad I went cuz at least it completely eliminated FOMO, and honestly almost everyone was there. Like 20+ people. I hardly talked to anyone, but I was present. I did chat a little bit and the little I talked was fun. I think it was rly good I was there too cuz also I talked with the Portuguese intern who was there (she doesn’t speak French, so it was tough for her. There is only one other non francophone and he is Italian but Luca was there as well.) so she was rly alone and I’m glad I was there at least to chat with her occasionally. Anyhow it was good even if it wasn’t gr8, but I’m still very very glad I went( Plus since I had been working so much on my own this whole week - and last - I had hardly had time to see folks in the lab) So then Friday. Was tired waking up having only slept some 5 hours, but what was off to a tired start turned into a really good day.I didn’t pay too too much attention in the course today (had trouble focusing bc tired hah) but then around lunchtime, he girl who sat next to me yesterday (and her friend with whom she works — same cohort) invited me to lunch with them For some reason my student restaurant card doesn’t work here in centre city, so I couldn’t really pay the food things here (I was ready to pay a more expensive price with my bank card or cash but I don’t think they accept either), but one of the girls covered me. Albeit it’s only like €3, but still. (Whereas I think it’d be like 6€ idk)So I had lunch with them - chicken, fries, a dessert, and appetizer ! Good shit! And had a chance to talk to them about some stuff too so that was cool. It’s just rly nice talking with folks and meeting/getting to know new people.

Was late coming back (got scolded by the instructor), but it’s also okay. We worked on an activity where we essentially pretended to be journalists and interviewed one another about our thesis projects and I sat next to and worked with/interviewed this new girl who spoke a very fluent English! And !!!!!!! It was amazing ??????Idk you know when you instantly just click with someone And then like when that happens you kind of ?? Keep clicking ????Like repeatedly as the interaction continues, you just kind of keep clicking multiple times and it never seems to rly stop and you’re just like ??? God??? I rly get you?????? It was like that with her and it was too coolLike someone else in the class actually called out my name to tell me to lower my voice cuz I didn’t realise I was speaking too loudly — I was just ??? Really excited and enthusiastic???!?Anyhow it was just rly awesome and I was like “actually can I get your contact info later bc I would really love to talk”And we kind of had a chance in this mock interview to give each other mini professional life stories (like life stories but only what is pertinent to our professional work track I guess) and idk it was rly coolSo anyhow at the very end of the course I was getting ready to ask her to exchange contact info but she asked me firstLike literally as I was opening my mouth to ask, she was like “actually if you don’t mind—“ and I thought it would have to wait but then she straight up asked me for my contactsAnd so we sort of excitedly parted waysI considered going to the administrative building afterward (closes at 16h30 — it was 16h45 already by now) to see if I might catch someone ask they’re leaving, but also it takes like ten minutes to walk there so I decided against it in the endI was heading back to the classroom building figuring I could just spend 1.5-2hours chilling on discord or twitter while changing my phone and waiting until 18:30 cuz I told someone I’d get a drink with him later that evening. But when I turned around, the other girl was there and she waved and walked over and we chatted some more. Like where are you headed? Just going back home. You live in centre city? Yeah just around the corner. So I offered to walk her home cuz I have no other plans for the next two hoursShe asked if I had seen Les Machines (I had), and she admitted that since coming to Nantes in October (she is from Le Mans just a few hours northeast ), she hasn’t actually gone out and seen much. She bought the new assassin’s creed so she’s just been going home and playing video games all night lolBut she asked if I was down to just walk around and I’m like ?? Absolutely?? I love walking??I suggested the park, which is honestly beautiful - esp on a beautiful day - so we proceed to take the ugliest ass most inefficient route to walk there. But it was okay cuz we kinda just talked the entire time so it was fine.She’s rly rly cool and anyhow we got to the park and just continued talking while walking in the park. Eventually after hanging out with some goats, we saw there was another girl from the same course, who had her husband and her kids with her. So we just stood around and chatted for like another hour or so

Eventually it was 18h30 so I was like huh should probably meet up with that guy I said I’d get drinks with, so we headed in that general direction while still talking. Passed by a... spontaneous mini local food market? So I sent the message to the guy to come over cuz there’s something going on here. And the girl and I awkwardly accidentally walked out of the market cuz it’s rly rly small and takes about 30 seconds to walk through, and we’re just trying to decide what to do. Get a coffee? (She’s Muslim so no alcohol - also I seldom drink and I don’t prefer it). Or a kebab? She wasn’t hungry but also admitted she didn’t have money on her, and I told her not to worry - my treat. We ended up going back to the tiny food market and I got us both some granola and fruit leather? As a snack cuz she wasn’t rly hungry. But that way we could sit around and chat and munch while waiting for my other friend to show He eventually came and we walked around together but then the girl left (said she had to go home, but tbh I think she had a fear she might have been imposing?)Anyhow I ended up walking and talking some more with the other friend (Canadian guy) and we ended up in some restaurant (oops my bad I thought it was a bar— he likes beers and said he wasn’t that hungry, so a little awk that this turned out to be a restaurant). But anyhow, he got some beers and I got a sausage platter to share for us.And we spent the rest of that night kind of just sharing life experiences and discussing doctorate struggles and remarks about French culture and our experiences and anecdotes and shitIt was just a really really good night

#chum #long post

1 note · View note

asoftslytherin · 6 years

Text

sweetener. ch. iii

a/n: i’m sorry this took so long for me to put out. the last two days were awful and i didn’t feel like doing anything. but i did it!

summary: you get home to your apartment and your friends have questions, but you start remembering certain things about the night before so who cares about them

warnings: so this one is like pretty smutty. no like actual sex but talking about it and the word “orgasm”, also language bc in a past life i was a sailor probably

word count: 2.3k

(as usual, i do not own this picture, i just cropped and edited it slightly bc aesthetic)

You winced as you walked back to the front door of your apartment, knowing that at least Marlene would be there. Something about being in front of the door took you back the the night before.

“God, I need you so bad right now,” you moaned into Sirius’ neck as you continued planting kisses up to his ear and biting his earlobe. “I swear, you’re going to be the death of me,” he chuckled, swinging the door open and pulling you in right behind him.

Were you beginning to remember last night? You shook your head and took a deep breath, turned the key in the lock and opened the door.

“Finally!” Marlene cried when she heard the front door open. “Wait, is it Y/N? ‘Cause last time it was just Lily and I was very disappointed.”

“Excuse you,” Lily laughed. “I am a delight.”

“Well,” you sighed, closing the door behind you and throwing your shoes down on the floor in front of the couch before flopping onto the soft cushions. “It’s me,” you said into a decorative pillow. “Who else would have a key to this apartment?” you questioned, face still in the pillow.

“Nobody, shut up! Tell us everything! We’ve been waiting long enough!” Lily walked towards the back of the couch, draping herself on the back edge of the sofa, in a position where someone could easily just push her onto the ground. But you weren’t feeling that mean. Marlene sat down on the floor in front of where your head was laying, criss-cross with her hands in her lap, as if the better her posture was would affect the outcome of what you would tell them.

“You guys are about to be seriously underwhelmed,” you said, again, into the pillow.

“Well I’m sure that you ‘siriusly’ didn’t feel that way last night,” the redhead laughed, reaching her arm down to high five Marlene. “I’m hilarious.”

“Well, I wouldn’t know that considering I don’t remember most of last night,” you cried, planting your face onto the pillow and screamed into it. You weren’t sure if it was the shock from what you had said or your scream but it sent her falling off the back of the couch.

“What?!” Marlene shouted. “Is that what happens when you get to drink number five? You just black out?! I’m so disappointed,” she shook her head, as if her disappointment meant anything to you.

“You’re disappointed?! He said we went for three rounds and I do not remember that at all. I’m never drinking again,” you exclaimed, turning your head your mouth was no longer muffled by the pillow. As you said that you hadn’t remembered anything you did you began remembering blips of the night before.

Skin on skin. Lips crashing together. His eyes searing your skin as he looked at your body before devouring you with everything he had.

It took you a minute to remember that you were back in your apartment and not underneath Sirius.

“Goddamn, I knew he was good but I didn’t know he was that good,” Marlene said, raising her eyebrows, looking impressed.

“Y/N,” Lily said sweetly, shoving you into an upright position so you were in the middle of the two of them on the couch. “Are you sure you don’t remember anything? Like not even a little bit?”

“I remember walking out of the club, making out outside the club and in the Uber on the way to his place. Sirius opening the front door of his place, and then it gets fuzzy. If I concentrate really hard I can get little clips of it. I do know for a fact that I told him no man had ever made me come, because he relayed what I said last night when we ate breakfast.” You sighed and rested your head on Lily’s shoulder, still feeling quite embarrassed.

“‘Had’ made you come?” Marlene nearly jumped out of your seat. “Are you saying that Sirius Black was the first man to give you an orgasm. I knew no guy had ever but for the first to be Sirius, just… wow.” She looked at you in disbelief mixed with approval. Your response was leaning your head on the back of the couch and groaning.

“So you had breakfast with him?” Lily raised her eyebrows and leaned over to look at Marlene, trying to change the subject. “That’s interesting.”

“Oh shit,” you said quietly, leaning over Lily and grabbing your bag from the table beside the couch, pulling out your phone remembering that you hadn’t texted Sirius that you’d gotten home safely.

“Why are you texting Sirius, Y/N?” Marlene coyly asked, not even pretending that she wasn’t looking directly at your phone.

“He told me to text him when I got home and I just remembered to do that,” you said casually, not looking up from your phone.

“Aw, he cares!” Lily clapped her hands together and bounced on the couch.

“Okay, calm down Miss Lovebird,” you stood up and started walking to your room. “All it means is that he’s not an asshole.”

You walked into your room, shut the door and the act of rolling onto your pillow brought back another memory.

You flopped your head down onto the pillow next to him, trying to catch your breath as you felt the remnants of your high going through your veins.

“You’re gonna have to give me a minute after that one,” you breathily said with a grin on your face, looking over at Sirius’ profile, deeply appreciating how his hair had fallen onto parts of his face, very mussed up from your hands gripping onto it just seconds earlier. You closed your eyes for a moment and prayed to every deity that this was not some elaborate dream. Sirius lightly laughed at your statement, also catching his breath.

“I have to agree with that,” he turned his head to look at your face. “That was… intense.” He laughed again before you rolled off of the bed to go to the bathroom.

After cleaning yourself up, you looked at yourself in the mirror, your hair was going in all different directions, and your entire body was flushed. If you took your hair out of the equation, you looked hot. I’d probably do me, you thought to yourself. You were a pretty confident person to begin with, but you were sure that the experience of being thoroughly fucked by the hottest guy in existence added a lot to it.

You had a small smile on your face when you walked back into his bedroom where Sirius sat with head leaning on the headboard, his arms resting behind his head. “I know this is a stupid question,” Sirius began, “but why do you have that smile on your face?”

You stood with your hand on your hip before casually stating, “Oh, I was just looking in the mirror and seeing how hot I looked.”

Those same clouds came over Sirius’ eyes when he grabbed your arm and pulled you on top of him on the bed. “I completely agree with that, but I do know a way that you could look even hotter,” he grinned, rolling over so you were under him as he pinned your arms over your head.

“Oh yeah? I’d love for you to show me exactly how,” you smiled coyly and cocked your head to the side.

You blinked your eyes a couple of times, registering what you had just remembered, not realizing that your phone had buzzed.

Y/N 📲 Sirius

Y/N: made it home safe.

Sirius: i’m glad.

*five minutes later*

Y/N: so i’m remembering some things from last night and wow i was super cocky sorry about that.

Sirius: if anyone was “cocky” last night it was me Sirius: ;) Sirius: no, honestly that was super hot, and i’m glad you remembered it so you can do it again.

You didn’t want to admit that you blushed at that text.

Y/N: i’ll keep that in mind. and i’ll let you know when you’ll see me again after i take a giant nap. Y/N: what can i say, you exhausted me Y/N: ;)

Jesus Christ, you met this guy yesterday and you’re already sending him fucking winky faces? Who does that?

Before you could start overthinking everything you’ve ever done, you put your phone on Do Not Disturb, rolled over and fell asleep.

Sirius was kissing you aggressively against the wall of his living room and simultaneously trying to get your dress off of you. It wasn’t a very practical way to get you undressed considering your hands were tangled in his hair, but neither of you cared enough at that point to bring in logistics. He walked you backwards towards the bedroom, his lips not leaving yours. You threw your bag somewhere in the room and kicked your heels off right before letting go of his hair briefly to unzip your dress and slip out of it. Thank god you didn’t wear a bra with this dress, you didn’t know if you were capable of working those hooks in the state you were in.

“Okay,” you said, breaking the kiss and pointing a finger at him. “You had better dick me down good because nobody ever has, and if someone that looks like you can’t then I will be extremely disappointed.”

Sirius made a noise somewhere between a laugh and a growl before lifting you up and tossing you on the bed. Immediately climbing on top of you and slamming his lips back onto yours.

After you had tired yourselves out the first time, you stayed lying on top of Sirius still because you weren’t sure if you could move your body and the fact that he was so comfortable didn’t help. “You definitely didn’t disappoint,” you smiled into his chest and laughed a little bit before rolling off of him and staring at the ceiling, making sure that all of your limbs were still functioning.

“So,” Sirius began, turning his body and extending his elbow so his head was resting in his hand, “and I’m not trying to pry, but when you said ‘You better dick me down good because nobody ever has,’ did you mean that I was your fi-“

“Oh my god, no!” You sat up and looked at him again, maybe you had sat up a little too quickly considering what who you’d just finished doing, you didn’t even want to know how sore you were going to be the next day. “No, I didn’t lose my virginity to a guy at a club. What I meant was that,” you took a moment to take a deep breath, “before tonight, no guy had ever made me come.” You pursed your lips together, raised your eyebrows and your shoulders. “I don’t know if I was just with guys who were bad in bed or they were just shitty all around, well some were, but yeah. You’re - uh, you’re the first.”

Sirius was staring at you, looking like he was hanging on every word you were saying. “This may come off forward, but I honestly cannot believe that anyone would not want to see the face you make and the noises that come out of your mouth when you-“ He took a second to kind of scoff, seemingly in disbelief. “Those guys were seriously missing out, Y/N. And I would be honored to give you orgasms whenever you would like,” he gave that signature smirk.

“Sirius,” you sighed. “I’m not looking for a relationship right now, as great as you are in bed, I’m just not looking for that.”

“Trust me, I’m not the relationship type, but how about this,” Sirius was in thought for a moment. “How about we do this one more time, whenever you feel like it, and if you don’t think it’s as awesome as I thought it was, which, in my humble opinion, was bloody amazing, then we can forget this ever happened and just go our separate ways and you can even tell Lily that I passed out or something the second we walked through the door.”

You eyed him cautiously, your previous track record with men was garbage and you suddenly had this guy in front of you who was amazing in bed and suddenly wanted to do that to you again. You were positive there was a glitch in the simulation. “I’d be down for a friends with benefits situation. But, let’s see what sober Y/N thinks about this, okay?” You smiled down at him.

“Then, in the meantime,” Sirius crawled towards you, “how about I give you a couple more orgasms while you’re still here?” He started sucking and biting at the soft spot on your neck. “Would you be okay with that?”

Without replying, your hands were wrapped around his neck and kissing him as hard as you could, wanting this moment to last.

When you woke up, a couple hours had passed according to the clock on your bedside table and all you wanted to do was take a shower, but out of habit, you checked your phone.

Sirius 📲 Y/N

*three hours ago*

Sirius: you think i’m not exhausted here? Sirius: you may not remember but you put me in some positions i’d never heard of and my legs were not ready for that

You smiled at that text, hoping to get a recap of what those positions were later on.

Y/N: okay so while i was taking my nap i started dreaming about last night and i don’t know if my subconscious was just making it up or if those things actually happened. Y/N: (i really hope they did happen) Y/N: but did you say that you would be honored to give me orgasms whenever i wanted?

Sirius: subconsciouses are weird sometimes Sirius: but i actually did say that Sirius: and i meant it

You took a moment to consider your options. You were positive that no matter what was happening later on that day, you were gonna take a nice long shower.

Taking a deep breath, you typed out your text message and hit send before you could overthink your way out of it.

Y/N: i’ll be at your place at 9

a/n: so i already have plans in my head for the next chapter so hopefully that means i’ll get it out faster. also yes i know that blacking out from drinking like never ends up in you dreaming what you forgot (trust me, i would know) but this is my fic and i can be as ridiculous as i want so just suspend your disbelief for a moment and let me be a shit writer for minute (i kinda wrote myself into a corner and that was the way to fix it) anyways thanks for reading this far if you did send me an ask and i’ll do a ship for you just like describe yourself and what era, it can even be marvel if u want who cares right. art is a lie, nothing is real.

💖-ella

#hp fic #sirius black x reader #marauders era fic #modern!marauders #*mine #*sweetener

14 notes · View notes

forgettinggirlinterrpted · 6 years

Text

Sunday 5/6

My roommates name is Shauna. She doesn’t flush and when I got here there was what I can only assume were soiled clothes in a brown paper bag.

A woman in the hall is also talking about her shit. I’m the youngest person here and im afraid to shower, there’s no door. The poop lady is cackling.

My roommate and I talked, she’s nice, and I met her night nurse and she is so nice. Her name is Maria.

I’m having a hard time figuring out why I feel like this. Its hard b/c I’ve been hungover but surely that’s not all it is. How do you recover from a hangover so bad you end up in a psych ward?

It weird not having my phone, I want to check twitter. I don’t want to go to group therapy tomorrow.

I just can’t stop crying, my eyes actually hurt.

My mouth tastes bad but I have no toothpaste.

I started reading this book called notorious nineteen and it is truly trash.

I don’t have the lights on bc Shauna’s sleeping- I feel like Mozart.

My eyes hurt, I might go call my dad again to get my moms phone number.

Ill be back.

Got Taylor’s # and called her/my mom. Maria gave me some antihistamines to try to calm me down/sleep.

My sisters want to come visit me on Tuesday.

I’ve only eaten a donut this morning.

There’s a painting of a window that is 100% mocking me.

I’m sweaty.

Some snaps I would be sending if I had my phone

*a pic of the little card that was on my bed when I came in w/ a number on it for housekeeping. Caption idea-

is this a joke?

It’s a work in progress.

*def a snap of me whipping/nay naying to the woman whose been singing in the hall all night (singer)

Shauna is snoring. There’s no joke there but its absolutely worth noting.

I just want to play candy crush.

Monday

(12:30 pmish) I feel like I’m in a dream. I’ve been sleeping all day- it turns out it was only like 3 hours tops.

I had so many dreams.

I just went and talked to a big ass table of doctors about my life and I just feel so groggy. They’re in there talking about me.

I skipped lunch b/c my tummy hurt so bad after breakfast.

Shauna puked everywhere.

I think she’s leaving.

Also turns out she’s in withdrawal AND pregnant.

And she has an infected injection site on her arm.

I just talked to my mom/dad/Taylor and asked them to bring me some books + shirts.

The nice psychiatrist said she would give me some adavan to calm me down. Also I skipped lunch b/c my stomach hurt so bad from breakfast but now I’m hungry so I guess they’re gonna order me something. I feel so weird. (might have napped here)

4ish pm

40 mg stratera (sp?), one mg atavan.

Finally left my room, I’ve been asleep all day.

Nurse went and got me a coke + a water and I saw they’re watching forgetting Sarah Marshall so I thought Id join. Everyone called me out when I came in since ive been hiding out. Bitches.

Movies suggested by the dude I’m watching FSM w/

- assassin’s creed

-Dogma

10 positive ways to describe myself

1. Legs that go up to my asshole

2. College educated

3. Big heart

4. Good sense of humor

5. Love babies

6. Love my friends

7. Good communicator

8. Love the outside

9. Big smile

10. Lovely family

9 positive coping skills

1. Talk to Taylor

2. Going on walks

3. Calling my parents

4. Reading

5. Going to therapy

6. Doing hw

7. Watching movies

8. Candy crush (questionable)

9. Eating veggies

8 things I’ve accomplished

1. College

2. Getting into grad school

3. Learning Spanish

4. Coming to the hospital

5. Making great friends

6. Moving a lot and making it through

7. Driving to SLC

8. Supporting myself (for the most part)

7 healthy things I can do each day

1. Eat well

2. Shower

3. Talk to my friends

4. Not drink

5. Clean my room

6. Clean my clothes

7. Do my hw

6 things I can change

1. My eating habits

2. Drinking

3. Exercising more

4. Getting a routine

5. Whitening my teeth

6. How I see myself

5 things I can’t change

1. How my family acts

2. How my friends act

3. The status of the US public school system

4. The amount of sunlight in my apt

5. My face

4 reasons I can’t give up

1. My family

2. I’m going to change the world

3. My friends

4. My future students

3 places I can get help

1. w/ dr. whose name I can’t remember

2. my apt (Taylor)

3. the hospital

2 people I can really trust

1. Taylor

2. my parents

1 reason I’m here

1. I need to not feel like this anymore

I’m holding myself back from asking why everyone’s here.

Assassin’s creed guy, also known as biting guy (an inside joke from earlier) and sweater girl are talking about if the food delivery guy has extensions.

We got called to dinner, now were finishing Sarah Marshall.

Biter dude told hair guy “nice hair”.

Oh my god, when peter sings about how much he hates himself, biter and white shirt turned to me and said dang sounds like he’s going to be in the room next o me! way to be self aware guys!

Just called my dad to find out about my stuff getting dropped off but turns out he did 2 hours ago and its all been in my room.

I started crying immediately b/c Taylor is amazing- she brought me the perfect books. It was like she was talking to me through the books.

She gave me b Franks autobiography and Jesse Donaldson’s ‘on homesickness’. And the book Amanda gave me. also wuthering heights and pastures of heaven. All so perfect.

Shirts is roasting the shit out of double lasagna (he ate… double the lasagna we all got for dinner).

He keeps saying he looks like he’s about to give birth

“I mean were already in the hospital we just gotta figure out what floor is maternity”

Wuthering Heights

1801- Mr. Lockwood +Heathcliff

Thrushcross Grange

Double lasagna is talking about the last time he had tequila- brother the last time I drank it I ended up here.

What an anecdote.

“they could have stolen my jewelry or even my virginity!” – about the guys who helped when he got too drunk. Double lasagna’s real name is * but he just introduced himself as Dorothy (to hair the night nurse helper).

Fake Abby (biting guy came to my room thinking I was her) is here and shirt just said “you’re awfully quiet” and she rejected him hard. It was awk.

One of the helpers is just chillin in here w/ us while I read my shitty book and we watch “just go w/ it” – its so bad.

One of the nurses (pony tail) just made me go on a walk down the hall w/ him. They all keep asking me how I’m feeling and I keep saying fine but I’m not. As long as I don’t talk I don’t cry. I’m starting to think I want to stay here longer but also leave right away. Its all so confusing.

Double lasagna just asked hair nurse if he could have his phone out of his bag and the way just looked up from his phone and said “nuh uh” was iconic.

Its 805 pm and I think I’m going see about getting my sleeping pills so I can just crash.

I need to document stuff better tomorrow b/c I don’t like how much of a blur today is.

I finally showered and I feel better I think. I just don’t know what the move is once I get out. Like I don't know how to talk to anyone.

I need Taylor to contact Morgan I think.

I’m sure she’s confused. Or maybe she doesn't care literally at all. Who cares. I’ve been surprised at how easily I’ve been sleeping today especially without my phone and with everything on my mind.

I need a talk therapist like yesterday.

I can’t bring myself to get through any of the books Taylor brought. The 19 book in such trash but it’s easy to read.

The shower needs to be pressed every 45 seconds to say on. I wore shower shoes.

Fake Abby doesn’t know what the move is, I can tell.

I called Taylor + my mom then got snack in my night meds. I mom told me to call back to talk to Mack so I just did. She’s lovely.

Double lasagna somehow talked to snack nurse into giving him a full sandwich. I got a strawberry poptart and a coke.

They’re checking in a new girl now who looks a bit like she’s closer to my age.

I’m happy she’s not my roommate.

I think tomorrow ill try to call family/friends less and trust the process. I need to really take a step back.

I’m just happy I feel comfortable sitting in the sun room. I knew a lot more about movies than they did

Goals for tomorrow-

Check out group

Find rec room/sign my name by Mack’s

Document everything

Keep room clean

They still haven’t cleaned Shauna’s side. Its off putting.

Have I mentioned they check on me every 15 minutes?

Its off putting also.

I wish I had just like some mascara or something. I hate to be that girl but damn.

My mom keeps trying to talk about the funny aspects of this but I can’t say I’m feeling them yet. Today just really was such a blur. I sept a lot then talked to therapists then I think went back to sleep? Then begged for lunch then I think slept? That’s where its fuzzy. Called my fam too much, I need to not tomorrow.

I also want to gain control of tv room tomorrow. Power move!!

Did I mention I called Chelsea? My brain is mush.

- Be more present tomorrow-

- Ask more questions-

be warned: new beginnings are rarely pure, and neither are the men who seek them

On Homesickness pg 23

Scott County

We are homesick most for the places we have never {truly} known

37, Franklin County

Questions to Proteus -> how do I get home? 45, Montgomery County

Tuesday

7:10 am

slept super hard but also had super vivid dreams. Mack and I talked about that last night.

She said she had never brought it up. I was a little restless, prob just bc they were constantly opening my door and eventually just stopped closing it.

I’m just trying to let go of control. I don’t want my phone back. I need to talk to someone about the insane anxiety I feel when I think about home back to the real world.

Even just being in my apartment scares me b/c it feels like its full of negative energy. I need to focus on the good when I get out.

I keep thinking about my phone bill and I can’t remember if I paid for internet. Also the maintenance light is still on in my car.

Even though mom and dad are coming today I need to be communicating less w/ outside world. If I really want to be off the grid I need to really b alone with me thoughts and be okay with it.

I kept feeling for my phone throughout the night.

I wonder what the nurses think of me. do I seem different than everyone else?

I keep finding myself trying to relate to the nurses, esp. the young male one (hair) but what am I trying to prove? That I’m not like everyone here?

Newsflash, asshole, I am

(I’m the asshole)

I need a sharper pencil- do you think a lobotomy joke will be appropriate when I request one orr?

I wonder if Prather has texted me. I’m supposed to sub on the 21st.

Yikes

Not looking forward to checking my bank account. I really spent a lot w/out giving a shit. It was freeing but I also haven’t worked in over a week + a half soooooo.

On homesickness is so dramatic but I love it. Makes me think of Taylor. (bc home, not the drama)

Also I think I’m getting fucking sick. Or, according to Lula (Flula) in 19, I’m getting hospital cooties.

7:27 am

I’m in TV room w/ singer. I asked what we’re watching and she said “some kind of cartoon”. She’s not screaming which is awesome. I’m going to read Wuthering Heights.

Almost 8

Called dad and asked him to bring me a pair of readers since my eyes hurt. Nice nurse #2 is here again. She’s blonde. I haven’t seen Maria again. Met another nurse too. She was young. Also there’s a fake nurse (fake nurses are in teal, like hair, and he real ones are in blue) who I def. know. Cant figure out from where, maybe high school? Either way, not cool with it. Also, they sharpened my pencil.

TIME TBD

Having a hard time focusing on reading. My eyes hut.

I don’t like waiting around.

Is it petty to point out inconsistencies in the rules? There’s different info on different sheets in the packet they gave us. Makes me wonder how closely these patients are reading it. Its all petty though, like whether or not we should take 5 or 10 minutes to use the phone or how many visitors we can have at a time.

I know myself too well, ill be bringing it up. I’m going to check on breakfast.

8:30ish

breakfast was sub par. Sat alone. New girl, sat w/ double lasagna. She only wanted milk so homeboy asked if he could eat hers! Has he learned nothing?? I ate pretty quick; I think I need to go back to sleep. I feel weird.

Time-?

Dr.?? (nice psychiatrist) came in and we talked. Started fine but I got really upset b/c of how much I feel like garbage and I don’t now if I want to be here. But also I don’t want to go back to the real world. She left and I went to go get a visteral 25 mg b/c I’m so upset. They gave it to me and when I got back to my room I 100% had a panic attack.

I felt like I was a kid again. Maybe its b/c I’m here but I’ve never been sure that what it was until now. They happened a lot as a kid and usually ended in my mom holding me and saying everything’s ok. Its so hard not having that now. I left my room and the med student from Sunday was in the hall and he came and talked to me until I calmed down.

With talking to them I finally feel like I’ve been able to verbalize how anxious I feel here along with how I feel about leaving. I just need to rest my eyes for right now, but when I’m up I need to write down what Dr. B said about when I get out.

I miss my parents.

Time unknown

Honestly can’t remember what happened next.

Social worker came in, she’s lovely. Talked a bit then I kept resting.

She gave me some info on how to stay grounded during a panic attack.

Then I think I went to the rec room to do a puzzle but then religion group started. I stuck around but then little dr came to get me and asked if I would meet with big table of doctors even though I hate it.

I did it but it made me upset again. They said they would come talk to me but they haven’t.

I fell asleep again then not Maria nurse came to tell me they’re gonna give me more adavan once my visteral wears off. Fell back asleep then got a drink/ate lunch.

My puzzle got hijacked so I brought a new one into my room. I hit a wall so I stopped to write all this down and go find out what they talked about it my meeting.

I think its around 1 pm.

2pm

Sat and watched how I met your mother for a little. Started crying. Asked a nurse when I was gonna get talked to when little doc came up. they gave me an adavan and now I’m waiting for him to come talk to me. the maid is making up Shauna’s old bed while I sit and cry. Very awk.

I don’t know why I keep crying. I just feel like I’m going to keep having these attacks. I feel so hopeless.

Still sitting here crying. Still no doctor.

My name is Abigail and I am safe. I am in the present and I am safe.

~505

lil doc came to talk to me and I got upset. I don’t understand what my next move is.

Just slept pretty hard until now then got dinner. Going back to sleep is very tempting.

I think I’m allowed another pill. What’s the point?

6:50 pm

I honestly don’t know what I’ve been doing since after dinner. I’ve been doing the puzzle in the TV room. I’ve been watching the office. I asked nice nurse if I could have another pill but she’s pretty sure she cane until its time for bed. My anxiety is pretty high right now my parents will be here in like an hour.

7 pm

officially been hoarding pencils. They say I can have an atavan at 10 pm for bed, but they gave me a V. im wondering if that’s going to help me sleep. They’re going to put me on abilify on top of my startera. I’m hoping they’ll give me some of this visteril to take home in case I start to freak.

Decided that in order to help me not get stressed I want someone to take my phone and ask me one by one about who texted/called/emailed and help me deal with it. Same w/ my bank statement.

I want to say I feel better, but I don’t know. Its just all a blur.

I want to see m parents so I can find out what the move is when I get out. Maybe a meeting with Andrea and social working and one of them would be cool.

I don’t want to get out after Taylor leaves. Fuck.

Double lasagna and biter left.

* is still here, and fake Abby is MIA.

New girl who I don’t know

New guy Brandon- wears vans

And tad who Mack warned me about. Apparently he called 911 on the nurses from the phones.

Bold move.

Fake Abby and I are friends. I think she’s lonely, I know she wants to be my roommate, but I can’t deal with that.

Now I just kill time until mom gets here.

930 ish?

Mom and dad came and I feel a bit better. Mom and I did our crossword puzzle and dad and I figured out grad school. I also had him assure me I don’t need to worry about $ right now.

I asked for a pen but they said no. but I STOLE ONE FROM MY DAD!!

Honestly its low on ink but just having it feels great.

Just called my mom and said goodnight to Mack. I feel ok. Mostly just shook b/c of how much of a dream this all feels like. But I’m ok. Time to crossword and eat my poptart like the star patient I am. And I’m gonna do it in god damn pen!

Goals for tomorrow-

- track when all meds taken

- get better at checking time

8am

slept like shit. But I think I might go home today?! I’m sick so my head fucking hurts. I dontknow what to think. I just want to sleep in my own bed.

11am

talked to dr. B + some of the team and I think I’ll just stay another night. It was hard for me to think of what I wanted to b/c I just woke up. but she made a good point that if I’m sick and drowsy it could be good to stay since they’ll change the time I get the abilify. I don’t know. Just very tired.

1109

Watching fresh prince. Thought there was gonna be group in here, but so far nothing. Fuck this.

Fake Abby told shirt he looks like Carlton and no shit he kind of does. He deadass did the dance while he was walking out. He thinks side burns were cool. Now singer is singing Elvis songs.

Newer girl is even scarier she’s very touchy. Seems like she doesn’t listen.

singer is standing directly in front of the tv. She threatened to fire the nurse that told her to stop.

Shirt is leaving today.

New girl just came in and snatched the stuff out of singer’s hands and then tried to talk to everyone. Now singer is out for blood. New girl is wild.

1140

going to lay in bed until lunch.

~12

slept a little until lunch. Hamburger and a coke.

I’m def staying another night. Thinking of some ideas for pickup since I need someone to go back to my apt w/ me.

I think that’s the move. And then if its horrible I can try to stay somewhere else. I’m thinking of asking my sisters. Idk. Might call some of them now.

I’m really just waiting to get something for my cough.

215

just slept super hard

even denied taking my cough meds so I could sleep more

I finally got into the rec room and unsurprisingly it was a disappointment.

Couldn’t find macks mark so I left.

Gonna go try to get more crossword

255

just called Chelsea, she said she would try to come over after work/talk to liv about doing the same. I just want to take a real shower.

Crazy Tad just said hi to me.

New girl (maid) is asleep sitting up, we’re watching that 70’s show.

My shirt smells like Keenan.

Also its almost snack!

Hmmmmm 4?

took a shower after smashing a poptart. The sheets they gave me to use as a bathmat smells like actual piss and shit- maybe I shouldn’t have wrapped myself in it.

A little before 5

Slept again. Got woken up for dinner. It was ok. God I’m so fucking tired.

I’m glad I’m writing everything down b/c its all such a blur.

Cant remember if I already wrong down that I talked to chels. I want help meal prepping and doing some laundry. Also someone to sleep over. I want my own bed, but I don’t want to be alone. I don’t want my phone. I don’t know what good anyone can do me right now until my meds get figured out. I don’t know!!

I met my new nurse, DD, who said I’m taking my abilify in an hour. Then I want my sleeping pills so I can konk out, ugh.

Time to lay down. Again.

I think I fell asleep again?

Went to get my abilify around 615. Panic attack happened again.

I can’t stop crying and I don’t want to be here anymore w/out talking to someone about all my regrets.

I think more than anything I’m really disappointed with how this whole thing is going down.

Just want to stop crying.

830 pm

calmed down. Kind of okay w/ leaving but also so anxious.

844

Singer has 12 different personalities.

About to go ask for my meds/follow up on what’s up w/ the nurse’s research

9ish

Ate a poptart. Nurse was doing meds so she hasn’t looked into anything. Took 2 hydroxizines (50 mg) + a 3 mg melatonin. Called dad, still not a grad student. Very frustrating. Everything sucks but its ok bc I am Abigail Nash and I am safe in the present. I am not in the past. The present. And there are people that love me.

Thursday

- if… because then

- one day at a time

9 am?

Had breakfast, found out I’m going home today.

Called mom + dad, and mom is gonna pick me up around 5

2 more free meals!

Getting a therapist is going to take a minute but I feel ok about it

Nurse Nadine is so sweet.

These people are getting the wildest thank you cards later.

930

I’m going to get a watch

I don’t like not always knowing the time

That fucking short haired nurse came in again and gave me shit for being in my room

Don’t know her name

But I don’t want to

I’m getting out here short haired lady! And I’m pulling out to win!

I’m getting sleepy, fuck

I have like 8 hours to kill

Soooo

Suddenly now that I know I’m getting out I feel like some kind of bubble has been burst and I feel semi normal

Am I really the Angelina Jolie of this place? Not actually Angelina, but her character from Girl Interrupted?

She’s hot in that too, though.

Final thoughts for now- RIP Brittany Murphy.

925

group- only going because nurse Nadine is leading it.

Tad gave a very sweet little speech about his dad

Grabby girl wouldn’t share, she it nuts

But now miss congeniality is on!!

1055

cute rec therapist let me into the rec room. I wrote

SCABZ

In big letters on the table, and made a picture frame. Also played ping pong with grabby. I’m not even going to go into how that went.

Update: grabby thinks I’m her mom

My best gift:

The gift of travel. Travel in the sense of moving, traveling to see a friend, or a friend traveling to see me. travel has allowed me to maintain friendships w/ people I usually wouldn’t. Another gift coming from travel is my best friend, Taylor who traveled to another state for school, where I met her. And the gift of going to visit my best friend in France a few years ago who I’ve known since I was 9.

~~~~ when the party is at it’s best, it’s time to leave the party ~~~~

- Tad’s ex-father-in-law

almost noon

Tad (ok turns out its not the Tad Mack was talking about) said some really good stuff in group and when he was talking about finding balance I said, “like the yin for your yang?” and he did not know what I was really talking about but it fit into the convo really well. So I started to draw him one and when it was over I gave it to him and he was really touched. I feel really good about it. It sucks I’m just now getting to go to group but I think my meds might be working b/c I haven’t gone back to sleep yet.

Also, they said I could keep 19!

I need to get some books together to donate. And some puzzles.

After lunch

Pulled pork. Singer change the channel on TV to cartoons. I see a nap in my future. Also brushing my teeth.

There’s a new kid, he’s gotta be newly 18 b/c he looks young.

Tried playing monopoly w/ Tad, maid, and new guy, but it devolved.

Thought he was cute but he might be nuts (shocker)

I said he was welcome to my books and he looks a mans search for meaning and I’m about to leave so I don’t think im getting it back.

Amanda wrote a nice note in it. That sucks. I gotta stop being so nice.

I asked them to give me a visterile and they did. I should be ready to rock when mom gets here.

430

did more painting- made a weird sign for door knobs. No sign of homeboy + my book. I kind of don’t want to leave, but I refuse to let myself have fomo in a place like this. Idk what the move is for my book. He better be reading it. I don’t want to leave before dinner so he can at least have a chance to say something to me about it.

Tad is really fun to hang out w/. he is really nice. We talked about grounding during panic attacks and he invited me to play monopoly and we talked about how it sucks that we all just started talking to each other but that’s also prob just a sign that the meds are working.

I saw he put my yin yang in the front of his journal. Very sweet.

This isn’t to say he isn’t totally nuts. Also, young guy said my voice reminded me of “stuff” what the fuck.

Grabber called me mom and tried to give me her hand.

2 notes · View notes

jihoonslattee · 7 years

Text

Songwriter!Daniel

it’s been so long since I did a songwriter AU! i feel so bad because this has been sitting in my draft patiently waiting for me to write but- anyways I hope you enjoy!

you had always known that daniel loved his cats

you had always heard him gushing about what his cats had done the night before to your other classmates (specifically seongwoo and Jisung who always seemed so interested)

but one day after the music class that you both were in you were on the way to the music room (for some reason they made the music and the actual music classroom different) you heard singing/rapping coming from the room

you investigate bc why not

and you open the door slightly and you see Daniel at the piano playing a melody that seems really relaxing

but then

he starts singing about his appreciation for his cats and just cats in general

and you are so close to laughing but then you stumble a little and the open opens slightly and makes a noise with causes Daniel to whip his head a full 180 and stares right into your soul

“what are you doing here?”

“ah sorry I also wanted to use the music room. I’ll go now.”

you are about to shuffle yourself out of the room awkwardly but Daniel stops you

“wait, you don’t have to leave”

you turn back around and just sit down at one of the chairs that is at a reasonable distance from him

“so i’m guessing you heard me singing about my cats?”

“yeah, I thought it was pretty creative though! I didn’t mean to eavesdrop.”

he just just chuckles and turns back around towards the piano

“do you wanna hear the rest of it? You’re already here so why not?”

‘maybe he’ll leave once i listen to it’ you though

“sure”

he starts playing and singing and some of the lyrics are questionable? Like you’re wondering how you didn’t hear it before

Once he finished he turns around and gives you a grin and you give the same grin back to him

“my cats are giving my life everyday and i wish I could do more for them?”

“dOn’T judGE”

and from then on you and Daniel become friends because when you thought you left he didn’t because he wanted to pick out some of your lyrics to tease you with.

honestly whatever songs you guys end up writing the other will find a lyrics and just tease the other endlessly about it

“not even an electric flyswatter can keep out the flies from my room”

is one of the lyrics you often tease him with because he actually sang a song about flyswatting for class once and you could’ve sworn the whole class could hear you facepalm as you heard the lyrics.

you even brought an electric flyswatter the other day and pretended to see flies and bugs around daniel and swung it around.

and then there was this time where you were singing about how much you like this cafe and how it always serves the best coffee and how you love the atmosphere

the weird thing was that instead of Daniel showing up the next day and just teasing you about the cafe song

he showed up with your favorite drink that you mentioned???

you were genuinely surprised and ti showed on your face obviously too because daniel looked like he had won the jackpot when he gave you your drink

“you like it?”

“of course I do Daniel you bought me my favorite drink why wouldn’t I be happy?!”

you drank that drink as if it was your last

HAH GET IT BLACKPINK REFERENCE

but anyways you are just happily drinking the drink and daniel is just looking at you with a huge smile on your face

you suddenly notice and you are like

“is there something on my face? oh my gosh is my face a different color than my neck?”

and that suddenly slaps him back into reality like

why was he staring at you for so long?

he was just admiring your face and then he’s like

wait i can’t like her

but he totally does

he’ll deny it until the last possible second because he really likes being friends with you

“oh i was just waiting for your reaction but you’re literally downing the drink like how i down beer during beer yoga.”

“daniel beer yoga is literally your excuse to drink beer. you have a problem.”

“it’s not a problem if i don’t do it often.”

you just laugh it off and keep drinking the coffee.

later that day you over hear Daniel making a song about liking jellies so much that he eats it everyday and your mind is like

“omg?? a perfect way to repay daniel back for giving you your favorite drink?”

so you went out to the local convenience and literally bought out the entire jelly section. you did leave a little bit though but whoever wanted the last jellies were gonna fight for it because you were spending your paycheck on this for him.

the cashier did look at you a little weirdly while you came up to him with your arms full of jellies but he didn’t question it.

so after buying it you rushed over and hoped that daniel was still there and luckily enough he was.

but what you heard him singing about was not about jellies anymore.

it was something along the lines of being so nervous about a girl that he talks to often and how much he loves that way she reacts to things like her favorite food or drinks.

and for some reason your heart just wasn’t having it?

so you kind of walk off with the jellies still in your hand like

“you know what, i can eat this all on my own just fine”

you don’t though since you bought it specifically for daniel.

the next day you try to act as if nothing happened but your mind and heart is still kind of hurting from hearing daniel sing about someone he likes.

but when he enters the classroom your heart starts singing a different song

because for some reason he looks super nice???

like you are just like oof my man be looking good

but then your mind slaps you like

“my man?”

so you change it, my best friend be looking good

and he comes to sit down next to you and just gives you his regular bunny toothed smile which for some reason makes your heart even happier.

“what’s up? you didn’t answer my texts yesterday so i was worried”

and that was the moment you realized that you liked daniel

simply because he cared for you and he always made you happy

you appreciated his presence and the impact he had on your life

“oh my ong”

“did you just make a pun on seongwoo’s last name?”

“that’s not the point-”

you stood up from your chair and just started leaving the classroom.

“uh i don’t feel well I’m gonna go back to the dorm.”

you rush back without hearing anything from daniel.

little did you know you high key disappointed him because he was planning on giving you something today (his heart?? jk he gave that to you a long time ago)

the situation happened there you are kind of just like gonna skip school for a day or two because you cannot believe the new found feelings that you didn’t know existed.

time skipp

surprisingly daniel didn’t contact you as often as you would like

mostly because he was worried that you jsut left class because you didn’t want him there.

daniel was a sensitive boy indeed when it came to his crushes which he didn’t have a lot of

he did kind of cope with his thoughts because seongwoo and jaehwan were with him the whole time

but you were still kind of shocked about your feelings

you wanted to keep to a secret but you also didn’t want to keep it in because you knew that it would just build up more and that it would just come to the point where you were deep in the crush hole and wouldn’t come out for a good while.

daniel was already at the point though

but one day you mustered up the courage to confess to him, (its been like four days but still)

you bring the bags of jelly and you stuff them in your bag while putting on a dress that made it seemed like you were trying but at the same time not.

so you went to class and waiting for Daniel to come

the weird thing was

no one else in your class was coming and you were the only one sitting in there for a good while

which made you worried like

“did they all switch to a different classroom and daniel didn’t tell me? smh when i see him forget the confession ima kick his shins-”

“Y/N?”

you whip your head around and see Daniel standing there awkwardly with flowers in his hand and a large envelope in the other.

“are those flowers for your crush?”

he just nods silently while he walked towards you

your heart was exploding tbh because he looked really good but at the same time you were sad he was confessing to his crush.

“i like you!”

“what”

you didn’t process that you had actually just confessed to daniel without even giving some context first.

you just crouched down and grabbed the bags of jelly and showed him

“ok long story short i was gonna pay you back for the drink by buying jellies for you but then i over heard you singing about your crush so i rushed home the next day i realized i liked you and then didn’t go to school for a bit.”

daniel just stood there wide eyed.

he honestly couldn’t believe what he was hearing

because he didn’t expect you to like him?

he was happy though

very VERY happy

he kind of just cleared his throat and pushed the flowers and envelope towards you

“daniel aren’t you supposed to give this to your crush?”

he nodded his head and made his way over to the guitar in the room

“open it”

(hehe open like from his concept song *moves eyebrows*)

you just kind of looked at him like

“okay if you wanted me to proofread your song you should’ve told me earlier.”

“no you dummy just listen.”

he starts playing and you are following along

until he actually starts singing???

because you start realizing he’s singing about you

and your favorite drink, how he loves seeing you enjoy the littlest things in life

how you both like to tease each other about the songs you both write

and your heart is just warm because wow he just confessed to your right after you confessed to him

and after he is done with the song you just walk up to him and give him a huge smile

“does that mean you are in love with me lover boy?”

he just gives you a nod while pulling you into a hug

“of course and you like me back so it all works out,”

he pulls away from you and starts heading directly for the jellies.

he pulls out a jelly in the form of a ring and brings it over to you

“so will you be my new favorite thing?”

“i thought i always was?”

“you were second favorite to jellies but if you become my girlfriend you will be the ultimate favorite.”

you just giggle to yourself and smile, accepting the offer.

“of course i will euigeon”

“listen i didn’t ask for this disrespect this early into the relationship.”

grabbing the ring jelly you take it out of the packaging and put it in his mouth

“shh it’s okay that’s the only time i will say it”

he just laughs and pulls you back into a hug

“you don’t know how long i’ve liked you for.”

“since you were staring at me drinking the coffee?”

“how’d you know?”

“I don’t know maybe connecting the dots?”

#wanna one #wannaone #wanna one scenarios #wanna one imagines #wanna one fluff #wanna one scenario #wanna one imagine #daniel #kang daniel #kang daniel scenarios #kang daniel imagines #kang daniel fluff #produce 101 #produce 101 season 2 #produce 101 season 2 scenarios #produce 101 season 2 imagines #produce 101 season 2 scenario #produce 101 season 2 imagine

143 notes · View notes

shemoveslowlyandsoftly · 6 years

Text

I bought Amy Poehler’s book “Yes Please” in the fall of 2015.

It’s taken me 3 years to finish it, but this Wednesday I picked it up at work, and read the last 100 pages it took me this long to finish.

In the last 100 pages, she talks about how she’s constantly trying to be present so she can enjoy the best moments of her life, because they’ll come and go, and if you’re not paying attention, you’ll miss some of the best ones.

But then she says this: if you’re lucky, it’s when you least expect it, a moment, a scent, or a memory can allow you to time travel and bring you back to relive some of the best ones.

_______________________________________________

It’s 10 pm and it’s just now occurring to me... today I time traveled. And I would have never known it had I never finished that fucking book it took me 3 years to read....THIS WEEK.

_______________________________________________

This morning I woke up not sure if my dream had really happened. Like most of my dreams, I don’t remember the contents of it. But I do remember that mid dream, I vividly had a thought that this was something that had already happened, and it wasn’t right. As if my deja vu was reminding and/or reassuring me that right now, you are only dreaming but you’re also observing the old you in the relationship you were in before it ended. I was going through the motions, much like the last few months of my relationship.

It was trippy but not triggering.

Then several hours later, on my way home from class, while I was sitting at a red light, I started zoning out (usually happens when I’m anxious about a million things) & as I was zoning back in, trying not to feel stressed about my financial troubles, I immediately noticed two former friends of mine that I lost when my relationship ended. Friends of hers, that cut me off when I cut her off. They were crossing the intersection, and much like my dream, it was like I WAS LITERALLY WATCHING MY OLD LIFE WALK RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME BEFORE MY EYES, but they couldn’t see me. Only me them.

But. I. Was. Still. Not. The. Least. Bit. Triggered.

I only thought to myself, “huh what are the odds?” But then I immediately lose the thought bc I’m racing against the clock to get home in time to change & eat before my shift starts.

**Still not realizing this whole time that I’m time traveling**

I get to work. Work is going fine. I’m feeling excited to go home and drink my wine & smoke my weed. Then 30 minutes before the end of my shift, I get a text from a mom that I have only babysat for once.

Normally I’d say no (my Saturdays consist of me being ON from 10 am-6 pm) but she’s m desperate for a babysitter because hers wasn’t responding & her and her husband had a black tie affair they paid for downtown (rich boujee things). Even though I’m bummed about not having my Saturday night, I need the money, so I say yes.

In fact I’m writing this from their couch right now. And it wasn’t until about 20 minutes ago when I went to the bathroom, washing my hands and looking at my reflection, and my second city work t-shirt, that I FINALLY connected all the dots.

__________________________________________________

Today was giving me nothing but signs but I didn’t think ANYTHING of them until I had DEJA VU from looking at the logo of my second city shirt in the bathroom of this home that I had only been into once that everything started rushing back to me like images in fast forward rewind of a movie when the main character goes back in time to a memory after EVErythinGGGG that day had led him to that very motherfucking moment.

It was a rainy, October day.

I remember it like it was yesterday.

I was babysitting for them on a Sunday afternoon, right before what was going to be the very last show I had in a relationship with my ex. I hadn’t seen her for a week because we had been on a break, and I was ready and willing to look past all the bullshit, because it was THAT Sunday I found out I had made it past the second round of auditions for the conservatory at second city and I was on such a high from that, and even more excited to have a show, that I was willing to look past months of emotional destruction because truth be told, I really did see the best in her.

But just like you can’t put a bandaid on a gushing wound, things weren’t going to change, and that night proved it. Despite my requests not to, she got piss drunk, couldn’t drive, and was immobile by the time she made it to my bed. I’m not proud that I went through her phone and confirmed everything I had been feeling for months, but had I never done it, I’m actually fucking afraid I’d still be with her. I was scared. The lies, the manipulation, the emotional abuse was all laid out for me, and i still felt like I couldn’t leave her....until i did. And I haven’t looked back since. I haven’t heard or tried to reach out to her, and the last time I’ve seen her, was the last time I was in this house.

Five fucking months ago. Almost to the goddamn day.

—————————————————————

I don’t know if this is exactly what Amy meant when she talked about her experiences time traveling. But I do know, that the universe is always trying to teach me something. ALWAYSSSSSS. Sometimes I’m in disbelief at how much I’ve grown up since October, but today has truuuulllyyyyy opened my eyes on another level.

How the hell was I supposed to know that only hours after I found out I was one of the few people to retain my spot in the conservatory, I was ALSO going to find out how much I had been deceived by ignoring the red flags from the biggest master manipulator I’ve ever met in my life—

—It’s unbelievable how hard I fell from grace after really thinking, “I am about to really peak. Ive achieved so much.” I had no fucking idea. No fucking idea at all for what was to come.

It’s even crazier that’s it’s almost 5 months on the day, TODAY, that I singlehandlely made the best decision of my life to block the most toxic person out.

—————————————————————

Also. Complete side note: I made $120 tonight, for 4 hours while I ate leftover children birthday party food, and watched the hunger games all because I came in clutch as the super nanny. So that anxiety I was having earlier when I was posted at the red light over my financial struggles? No. Longer. A. Thing. The remainder of my payment plan tuition just paid for itself.

How does that saying go about luck being disguised as work? I believe that. But Hard. Work. Pays. Off. And the harder you work, the “luckier” you are. I fucking sound like my dad right now, but I’ll be the first one to say that money doesn’t buy happiness. I am no longer anxious about my current financial troubles, but the same things that have been weighing me down, continue... despite the money I have.

I will say though, God is listening when you’re begging him to cut you a break. Him and the universe are helping me out and today, that was mad fucking real. Despite the emotions it brought by the end of the day.

__________________________________________________

Mark my words, one day, when I get a book deal, this will be an excerpt from it.

#personal

1 note · View note

steamishot · 4 years

Text

Self care

we’re approaching 3.5 months of the stay at home order. cases in california are starting to spike up again, probably a surge from the protests/reopenings. seems that texas and florida are being hit hard right now. i’ve been avoiding covid news but yesterday i visited the covid subreddit, as it’s starting to seem relevant to us californians again.

i’m still trying to navigate this interesting time. as noted previously, i think i was depending too much on matt during quarantine for companionship. even though a lot of my time freed up, the amount of his free time went back to normal (it was only chill for a couple weeks after he returned from vacation). before, we wouldn’t necessarily facetime every single day, i had a busier lifestyle and social life. now, i mostly just spend time with my family and then have an occasional virtual hangout with friends.

i guess there are only a handful of people that i would actually hang out in person with. one of them is g. we made plans to go hiking last saturday and i told her i would be sleeping over. it was both of our first times hanging out with someone outside of family (and s/o’s family). the hiking trail was beautiful- i kept thinking how great of a running trail it is. we carried her dogs for the entire 5 miles though- that part was pretty tiring. i think we were both getting used to being in someone else’s presence again, and i felt like i overstayed. after the hike, we got in n out, grocery shopped, and binge watched love, victor on hulu.

on sunday, we celebrated father’s day at my brother’s house with momo paradise hot pot. it was actually pretty bomb. my SIL also bought lady m crepe cake. it was my first time trying it. it’s good, but i didn’t find it mindblowing.

S E L F C A R E

eyes: since quarantine, my right eye has been noticeably lazier. i attribute this to the fact that i’m mostly at home, and i’m mostly always looking at a screen (even when working out/running). therefore, i don’t have to use my eye muscles much. i notice that when i go outside, my eyes move way more just to be aware of surroundings. even when driving. solution: wear my glasses (blue light protection), go outside more, and do eye exercises. since wearing my glasses ~2 weeks ago, i feel much better and my eye has gotten better as well. it’s my shield.

hair: i’ve been using this 3 in 1 type of shampoo/conditioner/body wash from trader joes for the past few years. i liked it initially because it’s pretty natural, lathers well and i feel clean from it. however, i think i’ve been lacking in my hair care. i occasionally will do a hair mask, but that’s about it. i also have a balding/receding area near my hairline that i’ve neglected to take care of. i’m gonna start putting in argan oil, drinking collagen, and taking multivitamins. i also scheduled a phone appointment with a dermatologist next tuesday to ask about my balding spot.

skin: it’s been good for my skin that i don’t put make up on everyday anymore. i also work out/sweat way more now. it’s only been two months of consistent running, but i’m happy for my skin every time i’m dripping sweat. my aunt gave me shiseido products, which i’ve been now using since march- night cream and serums.

cardiac: it feels longer, but i’ve officially been running consistently for two months now! it’s easy to get comfortable running at a pace, but yesterday i pushed myself harder on the treadmill to the point where i felt slightly uncomfortable in my chest. i finally made 3 miles in under 30 min, with an average pace of 9′56″. again, this is not super accurate as it was measured on a treadmill- but i actually think i ran quicker than what was recorded. i found my old stats from 2016 on my nike run app, and i used to run at like a 14-15 mile pace LOL. i’ve done a couple outdoor runs since my last blog, which helped calibrate my watch a little, and i’ll continue to do a mixture of both indoor/outdoor. i learned that i don’t like to run where people can see me, where there are lots of cars, and where there are lots of hills lol (so that basically eliminates the area where i live). tomorrow, i’m going to go run with my childhood friend D. she just graduated from a DPT program. i always thought she was too cool for me, as she’s always been a popular/conventional person. but i’m gonna let my insecurities go. she was at one point very fit, and she still is pretty fit, so it might be a challenge for me to keep up haha.

other notes:

- i finally purchased a domain for my own website using squarespace. luckily, i have a UCLA email and was able to get 50% off an annual subscription. i questioned why i was okay with spending hours helping my friend with her business/website, and couldn’t invest the same energy into making something of my own? it’s still a work in progress, but at least it’s finally there

- i made matt buy me a kindle LOL. i haven’t used it much yet but it’s awesome to read on it versus on my ipad or laptop.

- g gifted me a tie dye kit. as a kid, i was so fascinated by tie dye and always wanted to try it. my mom got excited and went to chinatown to buy those cheap t-shirts (even though i told her not to bc the designs on them are ugly). anyway, i’m happy with how my shirt came out. my mom and grandma were more meh about their shirts.

- got free in n out twice consecutively. once this past weekend when i went with g (first window told us to pay at second window, and second window just gave us food without asking for $ so we left), and last time was just a few weeks prior when i went to UCLA with my mom to meet a fellow/clean out my desk. my order got lost and they ended up giving it to us for free. third times the charm?

- lots of friends’ birthdays this week. i couldn’t remember any of their actual birthdates, but luckily i found clues elsewhere lol. S: 6/24, BT 6/25, BW: 6/27, G: 6/28

0 notes

thatgirlfromwindsor · 7 years

Text

92 Tag!

I was tagged by @roleplayingexo, my lil love

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people. (20 ppl ur funny)

THE LAST:

1. Drink: Iced water to go with my cookie bc I’m lactose :c 2. Phone call: I think my auntie. She wanted to talk to my dad or something. 3. Text message: My cousin :D I think I was asking her to steal a baby for me

4. Youtube Video (this was fked when I got to it so imma just do my own…): My girl Taylor Nicole Dean

5. Time you cried: Yesterday. I was talking to Mel about my hypothetical dead bird dying because it outlived me and got sad and didn’t understand why I was gone and I broke

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: Boy I haven’t even dated someone once r u kidding me 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: :’) I’m a boyfriend virgin and a kiss virgin I feel personally attacked 8. Been cheated on: See above 9. Lost someone special: My puppy was run over by a car the other day. That effing sucked. 10. Been depressed: I haven’t been diagnosed by a doctor and I don’t really have sad periods or anything. I don’t think I have serious depression but sometimes a girl just wants to d*e ya feel me lmao 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: *sigh* I’m a drunk virgin too. I have gotten tipsy before tho (my first time drinking and it was soju smh the inner koreaboo strikes again :////)

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: Pastel pink, mint green, coral pink/red

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Yes! I started uni this fall, so I’ve met loads of new people :) 16. Fallen out of love: I don’t think I’ve ever really been in love. I did unbias Minseok though. All the merch is a lil awko taco now. (Still loaf him, but Jongdae owns my heart n soul now uwu) 17. Laughed until you cried: Today. I was reading a confessions post from my uni and o lor d 18. Found out someone was talking about you: Yeah. It sucked 19. Met someone who changed you: @universitykpop when did we meet again lmao 20. Found out who your friends are: ?? Who knows all of y’all could be snakes and I’d be none the wiser 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: See above for further explanation

GENERAL 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Almost all of them. I have Mel on there and some distant family friends or something 23. Do you have any pets: I had Chocolate but I had to leave her behind in Vietnam when I came home (technically I only babysat her for a lil bit but she was my puppy and I cried when she died) 24. Do you want to change your name: Yes. My last name is stupid and in the wrong language. 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: I just had a small get together with friends. We chilled, played jenga, gossiped, the usual 26. What time did you wake up: Today’s a saturday so like probs something dumb like 11am 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Watching animal videos 28. Name something you can’t do: Not cry during an argument I’m a lil pussy 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Like 2 hours ago before she went to bed 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I wish I got into working out so I wasn’t a fat out of shape slob

31. What are you listening right now: My songs of the moment are Babe by Hyuna, Forever by Exo, Kokobop by Exo, p much all of Exo’s discography. I slide in some Pierce the Veil and All Time Low too. They’re rad 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Most likely? 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: My makeup is nearing the end of it’s run but 1) I spent a lotta time on this look and 2) I’m lazy to wash my face (I’ll post a pic if any of yall are interested) 34. Most visited Website: Loncapa :’))))))))) Fuck me up chem

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: Nope! 36. Mark/s: Beauty marks/birthmarks by my eye, on my arm, on my back. They’re not moles though. They’re very much flat. I have some scars on my hands from stupid things like getting cut on coral and shit 37. Childhood dream: I wanted to be an author. I thought I loved writing but I guess biomed was always my true calling 38. Hair colour: Black 39. Long or short hair: Long 40. Do you have a crush on someone: Yeah and the bitch’s name is Kim Jongdae 41. What do you like about yourself: I think I have pretty lips. I like my eyes 42. Piercings: Just my ear lobes but I’ve always wanted a nose piercing or a double helix 43. Bloodtype: No idea but according to an old wives tale I’m an O type 44. Nickname: I like to go by Vivi on here, or Viv sometimes. Mel likes to call me Weimoney :’)))))))))) 45. Relationship status: Single af 46. Zodiac: Pisces 47. Pronouns: She/ Her 48. Favourite TV Show: Go Fighting! I used to be really into the Flash, I really like Orphan Black too 49. Tattoos: Nada 50. Right or left hand: Right 51. Surgery: I don’t think so. My parents thought I was dead when I was born tho so who knows what the doctor did to me 52. Hair dyed in different colour: I’ve tried! My hair is a really really dark dark black colour. I’d have to bleach it and I don’t wanna fuck with that at home lmao 53. Sport: I like jogging sometimes. I’ve tried to pick up yoga 55. Vacation: I loved loved loved China. I visited Xiamen recently and I love it so much. I feel so at home. Also Grand Cayman. It’s beautiful there (my heart goes to all of those affected my the hurricanes. Stay strong!) 56. Pair of trainers: (does this mean sneakers or runners???? I don’t get your foreign slang Jess) I like my converse. They’re my babies. I have a pair of Free Runs tho. They look really good with skinny pants.

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: I ate a cookie bc I skipped dinner oops 58. Drinking: The same iced water 59. I’m about to: Do some chem hw 61. Waiting for: My next trip to NR to I can justify blowing all my $$$ on Exo notebooks 63. Get married: I would love to. It requires that I’m in a relationship first though… 64. Career: Med school is the dream. It’s a big dream and a big ambition, but I hope with hard work and perseverance I can make it a reality. I’m not sure what I want to specialize it, but I’ve always found reproductive endocrinology super interesting.

WHICH IS BETTER

65. Hugs or kisses: I love hugs. Hugs are the greatest. They make me feel warm and loved. No experience with kisses

66. Lips or eyes: Eyes. Eyes hold so much expression and history.

67. Shorter or taller: Both! Kyungsoo and a smol lil cutie patoot, and Channie is a tol giant full of love and cuddles. Both could take me any day

68. Older or younger: Older. I can’t imagine being with someone younger at this point in my life

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: I just want my boothang to be happy and healthy. Channie bear pls don’t starve urself abs aren’t worth it bb :((((

71. Sensitive or loud: I don’t know what this means but if it means what I think it means than kinky sex

72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: I’m a massive piece of shit with social anxiety so you know what who fuckin knows at this point

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: SEE ABOVE ONCE AGAIN HOLY HSIT 75. Drank hard liquor: I’ve had soju so it’s like half vodka? I’ve tried a berry alcohol (it’s native to Vietnam and super hard to come by) that’s 40%. 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I lose my sunglasses on my face. I’m a failure 77. Turned someone down: Possibly? I’m terrible at reading signs. 78. Sex on the first date: I feel personally attacked at this point. No first dates ever :/ 79. Broken someone’s heart: That would mean that someone would be interested in me… 80. Had your heart broken: Yes 81. Been arrested: Nope. I’m a good girl 82. Cried when someone died: Yes 83. Fallen for a friend: Nada

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: Meh. I guess so 85. Miracles: Yeah 86. Love at first sight: I believe in lust at first sight. I don’t believe that you can truly fall in love with someone before meeting them 87. Santa Claus: Nope 88. Kiss on the first date: Sure, why not? A kiss is just a kiss 89. Angels: I like to think so, yeah

OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: @universitykpop is it sad if I say you? 91. Eye colour: Brown 92. Favourite movie: Rush Hour. It’s a fave of mine. Brings me back to the good old days :’)))

Tagging: @universitykpop @penseuls I have no other friends oops. If you see this then I tag you too!!! And tag me in your responses. I love reading them. Haneul I dare you to do this all in your bullet journal (might as well get some content for your blog)

#tag game #oops i'm rly late on this awks #like 2 months late #oh whale

4 notes · View notes

shytiff · 4 years

Text

Small July Wins

1 - atikah and racheel came over, oa webinar (rheumatology), duolingo (DL)

2 - they ended up sleeping over, DL, "attended" pak Kus' webinar just becausee hes my skripsi advisor

3 - a page of padi cbt, idai webinar (respiratory disease in covid era), DL

4 - ran 3 laps in my house complex (afterwards my heart was pounding against my chest), hopecardis webinar (arrythmia), DL

5 - 1 ma article (moluskum kontagiosum), perkani webinar (congenital heart disease), DL

6 - DL, idai webinar (pregnancy and newborn stuff in covid era), put sheet mask on lol i neglect my face a lot lately

7 - accompanied juan with mom to perbanas institute for sbmptn, while waiting we went to lucky cat and imeri to get apd, picked up juan, went to social pot (kokas) afterwards, DL. Lucky cat was empty, the vibes of a cafe felt new to me (it surely has been a while). I felt super refreshed. Did some writing for ma article there. Tried salmon and black olive spaghetti, caesar salad, mom drank piccolo. The spaghetti kinda tasted like mi telor but with salmon lol. Talked and laughed plenty with mom :) i rarely talk with her nowadays. Im glad the awkwardness melted away

8 - videocalled with apa salahku for gaby's birthday, zoom for school prep (covid safety stuff), a bit of cbt padi, DL

9 - negative rapid test alhamdulillah, fk digital (kejang anak), cbt padi, DL

10 - some exercise, talked with shiko on zoom, DL, aand since i started padi CBT i finished 2 tryouts (150 questions). It’s not a lot but Im proud of myself :)

11 - went to tj duren with ara, but while we wait the n95 seller we went to citraland, tried fried salmon roll at shigeru, ended up meeting the guy at cl, afterwards we got pisang goreng madu bu nanik, went to rodalink pesanggrahan, ended up getting seirockya at puri, and then i dropped ara off at tj duren. Theeen i went to devis place to hang out and sleepover. Lots of foods. Delicious "lava cake" made from instant brownie mix. Played werewolf. In the morning i managed to finish the pre and post tests in OCI Covid. Happy tummy and laughter :) i hope i can be more productive after this

12 - DL (thank god i freezed streak for weekend because i completely forgout about it yesterday), during sleepover @ devi’s we watched love for sale, a copy of my mind, and love for sale 2. The frustration is real bruh we rly wanted to know more about Arini. Did UKDMA (2 attempts, score: 24, 58), wrote 1 MA article, sorted my downloads folder a bit. After ‘wasting’ (happy times is never a wasted time but still, there’s stuff to do) my time yesterday i felt more urge to do something useful

13 - actually started my day with DL and padi cbt wow (brain still fresh from sleep), CBD about BPPV with dr Widayat. Since ive experienced one before i asked and asked and asked lmaooo. Packed up some of the stuff for tomorrow, hoping to not forget things. Read the journal for litrev before bed

14 - DL, first day of school after a while -- turns out weight distribution is key to avoid sore butt LOL. You kinda have to also support your body weight on your feet. Theres no sore butt at all during my 50 mins trip (amazing feat if you ask me). Went to poli rhinologi (DPJP: dr niken) she kindly gave me a patient to examine, and casually told me to put anterior tampon. I, who have never attempted it, was holding back my fear of trying something new lol. Alhamdulillah, i can somehow do it (even though one tampon fell, tiffany paboooo). The ppds kindly explained stuff to me and i feel like i shamelessly ask nowadays. Like it would be a waste not to ask something. Next was CBD @ Ara’s, we ate Ayam Bakar Mas Walid. Liqo with kak Kartika.

15 - DL, did litrev in the morning bcs i fell asleep lmaoo, tweaked tumblr a bit (i like low contrast the most), fell asleep while watching larynx anatomy video until 1:30 pm yalll i missed half of cbd. Tried to read stuff for poli larfar tomorrow.

16 - DL, ppds i met today lives in poris and worked at puskesmas kalideres lmaoo. Had a bit of headache and gassy stomach that felt better after sleeping and eating. thank god i was picked up by mom and theres food and stuff. i guess the difference of being at home and kosan is that you kinda remember more who youre fighting for. my mind felt healthy-ish lately, of some sort. but the headache made me sluggish

17 - DL, nevermind about the healthy mind part lmaoo

18 - DL, physical activity, padi cbt (after 200 questions i was today years old when i realized there were answer keys on telegram 👁️👄👁️), read optima tht batch 1 2020. Watched khs playing chess blindfolded against try guys and then i was purely amazed by what the human brain can do. It somehow motivated me to study lol

19 - DL, finished optima pem tht batch 1 2020, made 1 cbd ppt, webinar "holistic skin rejuvenation", free mindset tryout

20 - DL, haven’t got minicex but at least im trying to stay hopeful!1!, read the notes from today’s cbd since i basically only heard the whole thing on my motorbike like a podcast, did nasal irrigation n took a slow release vit c

21 - started the day with some stretches and squats, trying to drink more water!!, listened to kak dela's tips for ukmmpd from mindset, DL, read a bit abt epistaxis, the clear wallet i ordered from china finally arrived, edited 1 buku pld article

22 - was in poli onko this morning w ara, a patients consciousness was decreasing so code blue was activated. Finished poli at 1 am. It's been awhile since I last saw emergency situations. Went to maison weiner, ate almond croissant there and bought chocolate sourdough and chicken pie. Despite not getting minicex, the road home was not hot, the sun hidden away. The wind is breezing, podcast is on, talking about mindfulness. Todays quite a good day. Im healthy, insyaAllah. I hope my family will also stay healthy. Woke up at 11ish pm, DL, made my ppt for lcbe exam ((tomorrow)) til 1 am

23 - DL, lcbe exam with dr arie (turns out he picked epistaxis over sinonasal tumour), met up with racheel devi silvi at mcd and jco. Hojicha oreo mcflurry tasted good. Got lost on the way to racheels house lmaoo. She flies to malang tomorrow. Can i wish for life to stay simple and happy forever?

24 - DL, originally meant to be a minicex session turned out to be story time by dr Ezzy, she told us about cases that she managed, one of them is putting on tracheostomy for a baby with Moebius syndrome that went viral on twitter. We didnt even present our case and she only asked us for the scoring form. Thank you doc our lifesaver :”” after trying so hard for minicex the last 2 days turns out maybe its fated so we can meet and be inspired dr Ezzy. Mom picked me and we went to Maison Weiner before going home. Passed out from 6pm until the morning lmao

25 - a bit of exercise, DL, tried kemonyu.id mentai from duta garden, i’ve had better mentai than it but at least its on promo. it uses butter rice so that’s something new to me. rapat nemo to decide dates

26 - DL, liqo with kak Kartika about things you can do in Dzulhijjah, A2, started reading optima pem dv batch 1 2020

27 - DL, round was cancelled bcs no patient, lazed around and slept and lazed, continued reading pem dv optima, did like a half of 1 pamela reif video and my HR soared in 2 mins lmaoo

28 - DL, finally mustered the will to finish DS etika profesi, finished reading optima pem dv batch 1 2020, 2A, did 1 pamela reif video (titled 10 mins calorie burn that wont kill u), read a bit of my dv notes

29 - DL, ppds at poli were so kind!, ate shabu2 by mom and basically fell asleep

30 - DL, made ppt PKL, alhamdulillah PKL went ok with dr ika

31 - watched annabelle comes home and suicide squad with keisha karin juan, DL, relatives came to our place, ara also came for a sleepover and after i picked her up we went to dajens place lmaoo they set up bbq

1 note · View note

birdysnow · 7 years

Note

Who is your favorite OC? Pls share their backstory I must know👀

to be honest it’s totally Devon. I’ve had him sinceee about the 6th grade, and he’s been concrete since about 7th grade (I’m almost a junior!). He’s so important to me :’). Whenever I feel sad I just work on him or write about him and it cheers me up real fast.

haha his backstory is a loooong, complicated mess. I literally went on an 1.5-2 hour rant about his backstory at a sleepover once, it was ridiculous how long it took for me to talk about him. I actually wrote a response for this ask yesterday, but it got deleted I hate my life. It was soooo long because I wrote it in the way I speak. You’re probably getting a lot more than you bargained for :’). I’ll put it below the cut so everyone else doesn’t suffer.

im gonna use bullet points bc i like them and theyre shorter

note: universe is like. sci-fi. there’s space stuff you know

full name: Devon Mateo Westmore

born: August 16th

a leo!!! do with that what you will

as far as parents go, they’re kinda dicks basically

Devon was a complete accident and he’s kind of treated as such

they’re pretty neglectful?? they really dont give a crap abt him frankly

they’re more interested in making bank with their jobs and turning up

has a sister who’s like graduating or smthn. she’s old. her name’s Lucía.

she also could give less than a crap about him and had a similar experience with their parents; just wants to be free and have no attachment to this rando baby

is a total Problem Child™ during school because of his messy life, just wants attention and love really but never really gets it

universally hated by teachers all his life

high school is especially rough he is a disaster

he’s basically like party all day every day bitches bc is parents are never home/probably wouldnt reprimand him for going out anyways

he drinks a lot, does drugs

he bangs a lot of people irresponsibly. A LOT of people.

is a player tbh he will flirt with anyone. very pansexual.

makes a lot of (bad) friends 2 fill the Void™ and does a lot of illegal things

anyway fast forward to when he’s like 17-18 and school’s like yep time to graduate!! and hes basically like

but he does graduate in order for the story to move forward

but now he’s like careers????????

all he’s kind of enjoyed is music throughout high school but he’s like thats not what i want to do.

yolo, he probably says to himself one day. I’ll just join the military and become a space pilot because thats what I wanted to do when i was 8

so BASICALLY i haven’t figured out how I want this space military to work but he ends up in like an academy (he’s like around 19ish) or smthn

this is where he starts to like chill tf out tbh

he discovers that he likes this a lot?? and he’s like dedicated to it???

a lot of like. coping happens and he has to figure out what kind of person he wants to be and recover™ himself

but yah he does well and he ends up being valedictorian nice going m8

basically if you’re #1 in your class you get the opportunity to go to this like. school/training thingy. and it’s very exclusive but if you like graduate from their you’re like. set

its like harvard except you could die there

yolo, he thinks in yet another life decision he really shouldn’t be taking lightly. I want $$$$ so i’m about to make that place my bitch

he does not make that place his bitch

he suffers so much

by the end of the year/2 years he’s there, he does pretty well

He makes a bunch of good friends, and he gets a ton of experience. he’s really good because of it, as to be expected

while there the top of the class is this girl and her name is Adella

shes my daughter

Devon likes her but she’s like super stand-offish and he’s a party kid so he’s like

“hard pass.”

but he has like mad respect and he thinks she’s chill

the feelings mutual

anyways like RIGHT before they graduate she gets recruited to this special program because she’s top of the class and like disappears he never sees her again

sike

but not for a while at least……………

so like fast forward he’s like 23 maybe

he’s got a good job, he’s living it up really?? he’s just like pretty happy all around he has a life, an apartment, friends

he gets an email from this girl and she’s like yo

I’m Tamara, my mother passed away recently but I discovered that our parents are apparently siblings?? I never knew I had a cousin, I heard you live in the area and I was just wondering if you wanted to get to know each other

and hes basically like damn if i’m about to pass up this chance!!!!!!!!

Tamara works as a programmer literally one (1) city away

basically they just?? end up getting along really well?? Devon spends a lot of his off days hanging out with her

he’s so ecstatic to finally have someone who’s his family like she treats him like a little brother

probably Tamara also has a younger sibling, their name is Calix. they work as a doctor and dont see Tamara often but the two are close regardless

they’ll be important later but for rn they’re not relevant

anyway, at some point they make plans for Devon to meet Tamara and he ends up at her work

and she’s chilling with this guy who is absolutely

fucking

gorgeous

Devon’s sure he died, right there, behind a goddamn cubicle,,

he’s frantically trying to think up something suave to say (are you the only tennessee no– wait–) when Tamara notices him

she introduces him to her hot friend, his name is Shay

Devon tries to play it cool

“Hey would you mind if Shay came w–”

“NO NOT AT ALL I WOULDNT MIND”

they go out for lunch

he chills out a little bit on the way enough to be his usual self

Shay mistakes flirting for good-natured joking

Devon suffers

They exchange numbers

cue pining

Shay continues to be oblivious

He has to be told point blank by Tamara whos like “Please, for the love of all that is good, fuck him go on a date with my cousin.”

“Has he been asking me on dates every time he takes me out?? every time??”

I love Shay so much u dont even know

Shay is basically a really pure and happy person, literally nothing can get him down ever he’s just trying to live his best life

he’s everything to Devon, he’s so sunshiney and nice and Devon has just been through some stuff and his life is going well and now he has been blessed with this beautiful, perfect boy….,,,

it’s not like Devon has never dated anyone before, most of his relationships have been purely physical but he’s been in romantic relationships w people

but this is like. it he knows it.

they date for about a year, everything’s fantastic

and then

things are heating up politically, and Devon’s in the military so they need him somewhere else

right now everyones living in like?? around india somewhere and they need him in like. canada.

hes understandably upset

he’s gotta move. acROSS THE GLOBE.

he’s not going to break up with bae but they’ve got to talk through this like Adults™

so they talk through it

and Shay’s basically like

“fuck no, i’m moving with you idiot

did you think you were just going to move away from me bench?? sike”

they move in together

I used to have their apartment layout drawn up on homestyler but they reset the system and it’s gone into the void so i’ll have to remake it :’)

so now they’re moved in which is super great everything is popping

remember Calix? they’re relevant again

basically, Calix has been dating this girl for a while now and they’ve gotten serious but their relationship is not working out because she is a mess tbh and they love each other very much but they are not good for each other

Calix isn’t emotionally receiving or helpful he’s very blunt so they end up splitting up because she doesn’t need a relationship

Said girl is Adella

Adella is a mess basically

the program she was recruited for made her very successful, very well known in her field and in a lot of ways, among common people

but downside is there was a lot of government dirty work she was kind of pressured into doing

there’s also a lot of hush hush skirmish’s that have been occurring that she had to stop

she’s been struggling with depression for a lot of her life and she has PTSD so when her contract is up she decides to take a break™

her and Calix’s relationship kind of falls apart but she’s friends with Tamara and she’s like I need to leave somewhere and get out of this messiness, i’m going to move back home (Canada)

Tamara is like

LIGHTBULB DING DING DING

she doesn’t think that Adella shoudnt be on her own, she wants someone to supervise her and make sure she doesnt accidentally starve or smthn

she has the best intentions but she kind of tricks Devon and Shay tbh

“Hey you guys got an apartment with an extra room?? Can you take in my friend for a while, she’ll pay rent, she has a job she’s just trying to find a nice place to live but she needs to move to the area rn”

the two of them are like “yeah sure lol sounds legit tammy we ly

Adella shows up on their doorstep with the intention to live there for like 2 years

cue Shay internally flipping his shit over this lowkey celebrity whos going to LIVE in HIS APARTMENT DEVON DID YOU CLEAN THE KITCHEN

Devon is not phased

he knows Adella from school so he’s just kind of like hey its u whats banging girlie

he basically just treats her like normal and she is so appreciative

basically they become SQUAD i love them and thats the beginning of my story and thus ends background

i’m sorry this was so long i tried so hard but i got carried away. double sorry for taking so long I have like 3 end of school projects due rip me

Thank you so much for asking!! I can’t tell you how much it means to me :’)) If you made it this far through my story I applaud you. thanks for reading!!! Feel free to message me if you have any questions

#ask #mine #im shook this happened im still dazed that anyone cares about my garbage children #i love my son so much #cheater157 #my ocs

4 notes · View notes

moniqueensevilla-blog · 7 years

Photo

greetings from my siesta! Today marks my third day in Spain and consequently my first day with enough time to write something! Sunday/Monday/Tuesday ended up being some of the busiest, most nerve-wracking, exhausting days of my life as my parents and I fLew out of Boston at 5:30pm and landed in Spain at 6:00 am... We then took a two and a half hour train from Madrid to my current home in Sevilla. After dripping off my parents belongings at their hotel for the night, I used Google maps to navigate through the labyrinth of streets that is Sevilla . I awkwardly buzzed the door to my Señora's apartment and walked up their windy, long staircase and was welcomed by my mom here, Rocío. She showed me around the house and everything and was introduced to my fabulous American roommate , Madison. I was immediately surprised by the Andalucian accent that I was warned about. Much different than that of Costa Rica that I grew used to, but I was thrilled to have a 75% understanding despite my confusion. Rocio walked us to our school and gave us a brief overview of Sevilla.. at one point she referred to it as a "labarinto" or labyrinth and I don't think there's a better way to describe Sevilla than just that. Apparently , she needed to go to the bank as we approached the bank door and she said "quieren pasear un poco y reunir a casa?" So basically there Madison and I were in the Middle of this foreign city and forced to fend for ourselves and learn where we were in the city. A great learning experience to say the least. As it turns out, we live in Barrio Santa Cruz in El Centro histórico of Sevilla... A very nice neighborhood!! We each have our own room , there are three bathrooms in our house, and there are four rooms in addition to the dining room , kitchen and living room. We are just out of the tourist traps of El Centro which is nice for it is more locals yet we are next to La catedral de La Giralda which is actually the largest religious building in the world and the third tallest. I remember walking up it in high school on our school trip and it gives you an incredible view of the city, maybe some day we will do that! The downside is the fact that the bells chime every half hour even through the night , which reminds me a bit of Assumption... After our orientation, Madison and I wandered about through the city and I noticed that we were right by my parents hotel. Naturally, I texted my parents and we met for Sangria and tapas where I said my final goodbye to them which marks the longest time I'll go without seeing my family, or really anyone I know in my life... yikes! At that point I had not slept in 30 hours as our plane was a red eye and I couldn't fall asleep so it was time for bed finally! Tuesday we woke up and went to orientation and after having sardines (yuck) for lunch with our family Madison and I walked to La Plaza de España which is the most breathtaking landmark I've ever seen. We then went for some coffee and churros con chocolate, naturally before we returned to school and met our speaking partners. My speaking partner is a native to Sevilla named David and his job is to help me learn the languageand the culture of the area. I will be helping him learn English and in Spanish we call this an "intercambio" so basically an exchange program where we teach each other. David is helpful and not afraid to correct me, especially when we message on WhatsApp which apparently is the preferred mode of communication here. After this, we returned home to find that the lights wouldn't work and her two children were not home! We WhatsApped our Señora ANd she came home from her job as a real estate agent to help us. As it turns out, her kids live with the dad (actually next store) some nights and the lights were just burnt out and one just wouldn't work (still don't know how she got it to work). She showed us how to make an oven pizza and went to work and finally another day came to an end. Of course, we didn't eat until 1030 which is average for Spaniards and I'm beginning to understand why. The sun doesn't set until 930pm and it's light as day out until that time. Yesterday Madison and I actually got some sun and fresh strawberry mojitos by the guadlaivjir river at 8:00pm and it felt like it was 12:40pm... Crazy; no wonder they stay out so late at night! We returned home to no one there at 930pm which is typical of Spain and especially of Sevilla because as they say "life in Sevilla is lived in the streets" at all hours, everyone is out and about with their friends or family getting coffee or drinks or tapas. No one sits around in their house except for the siesta which is awesome and keeps us super active! At about 10pm Rocío returned and made us Ramen noodles for dinner. Interestingly enough they felt more natural than those that are packaged in the United States but still it was strange to think that's a meal that would be served here. The jet lag still has me messed up, and because of this I only got 6 hours of sleep last night before school this morning. Yesterday was the first day of classes where me and three other girls are in an advanced Spanish class with an excellent teacher who we call Sara. She is young and beautiful and the most helpful teacher I could ask for. She insists on us correctly pronouncing things and sits at a desk right next to us to teach.... Everything is a review for me but it's so nice to have it as I haven't learned any Spanish in years! The past two days Madison and I have left for class at 8:45, stopped at BuenaAbuela for café which is only €1.5 and then walked to school and gotten there before 9. Our classes are 9 to 1 which a half hour "pausa" at 11-1130 where we get coffee of course. Today we had class til 11 and then went to Italica: the Roman ruins in Spain. It was so cool to be there again and see how well preserved such an ancient city is. Inside their "mini colloseum" some children had plastic swords and their teachers were dressed in ancient Roman garb to teach them about gladiator fights. They fought various rounds with these fake swords and it was hysterical to watch this all inside a building build in 100-300 BC and have children of today reannacting the events of thousands of years ago. .. life is funny! Though we are all English speakers in the program of 20 or so of us, we signed an agreement that forbids us from speaking English when we are out as a group or at the school... This is exhausting and strange as we jump back into English after conversations in Spanish. All the while, it's beneficial as we are learning so much everyday and by the minute my skills improve..... I couldn't ask for anything more! We just got back from Italica and Rocío just informed Madison and I that she is going to be back soon with food for lunch and the kids will be back soon from school. Afterwards I plan to take a well-deserved siesta and our next plan, besides homework of course, isn't until 730 tonight when we will meet Madison's intercambio to hang out in the city with! Another funny Spanish thing, they refer to "la tarde" or the afternoon as anything until the sun sets....la noche or the night isn't until much later like 9:30 and it's totally common to leave the house, like Rocío did last night, at midnight to go out for drinks on a work night. What a life this is!! Thanks for those of you who have wished me the best of luck and made sure I arrived safely! I couldn't ask for anything more in life and I've never felt so incredibly happy!! Adiós! -Mo

2 notes · View notes