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#bc he was like mad that i didnt tell him when to say a certain thing in a prayer i guess even though it was written on a thing on the table
zemnarihah · 6 months
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man
#i went to go see my dad bc his mom died this morning. and he was like clearly having a hard time with it i think more so than he was really#letting on. and its weird bc i was telling erik how it feels like nowadays this is like. a different version of my dad like it really doesn#feel like the same person who traumatized me and my siblings growing up. that feels like a ghost almost idk. but he was talking to me abt#his mom who from the little bits ive gathered here and there i can assume she was pretty emotionally abusive to him. but he said.#'my mom definitely made a few mistakes with me. but i have to try to move on and live my life as best as i can'. god i felt like i was#looking in a mirror. he seemed so sad it was like he was trying to convince himself. and trying so hard not to be mad even though he has#every right to. but i guess at a certain point you do have to let it go. idk. i guess i never really see him be very vulnerable except when#it comes to the church. he did talk about the church as well he said that as much as she mistreated him hes grateful she gave him faith in#god and that he thinks thats the most important thing a parent can give their child. and i didnt rlly know what to say ig mostly i was just#letting him talk. but god. it was hard. i hope maybe this is like.his chance to let go of all the hurt from his childhood. that he gets to#finally grieve it along with her. idk.#i feel like my view of my father gets more complicated every year i get older. i just dont always know how to reckon with it.
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glitchdollmemoria · 11 months
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yknow the cool thing about having a ptsd induced bad dream is it gives me more motivation to go watch cozy movies and eat comfort food til i feel better
#after spending an hour in bed scrolling through tumblr waiting for my muscles to power on ofc#anyway little vent abt that ahead#no one has to read this ofc its really mostly just me working through it and processing it yknow#had a dream i was still involved with a couple people who are now gone from my life hopefully forever#also still dating my gf though? but he wasnt there :(#and we were in a uhaul or smth and were driving around and i felt very Uneasy#and like. i was actively in a flare up in that dream so the brain fog was making it harder to think clearly#so i felt very dumb the whole time#and so we drove through this like... pathway? with tall dark plants on either side#some kind of overgrown decorative shrubbery#and we were just chatting and i was trying to pretend i didnt feel uneasy#and then we came to this plant archway but the way was blocked by a bush about waist high#which. i have some particular feelings about that imagery. but idk if i wanna say it cus maybe im just being schizo#anyway we got out of the truck and left it there to go to the little restaurant cafe place we could see on the other side#and once we were inside we realized it was very clearly run by and for the jewish community which made me feel a bit better#so we sat at one table for a while i guess just to wait? then moved upstairs to another table to actually eat#and one of the people i was with started arguing with me and insulting me while the other one just kinda let him#bc he was like mad that i didnt tell him when to say a certain thing in a prayer i guess even though it was written on a thing on the table#and even though i was brainfoggy as hell and didnt know to expect that and he couldve looked himself and it DID NOT MATTER...#so i threw a metal thing holding the piece of paper at his head.#it kinda just bounced off him but then i walked off and he followed me and started beating me up lol#i woke up right as he started throwing punches. i think people were about to step in though#the weird thing is i think at the beginning of the dream i was ONLY with my current gf#idk how to word it but like. these other two just kinda barged right into the dream#anyway that dream is def Up There among dreams that i feel might have some deeper meaning but also not the MOST Up There#might delete later also bc The Paranoia#anyway! claps! time to watch old pokemon movies and eat pancakes
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aristotels · 3 months
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Of course all problems and inequalities are direct consequence of modernity and in the past those who are now considered undesirable were considered divine and definitely weren't treated even worse and didn't have access to anything that resembles accomodations. Let's bring those times back!
In Ancient Rome specifically there was no hospitalisation, yes, but also people who were considered mad couldn't make financial and legal operations on their own at all and couldn't be citizens, and were considered pariahs by their communities. This is not to say that you are wrong because you picked the wrong time to see as "when things were better", it's that just because what causes problems now is capitalism doesn't mean that before it people were always kind and caring, everything is much older.
(Or that removing the money would fix everything on its own, for that matter)
are you literally so stupid to fail to see my point
the point isnt "LOOK WHAT THEY TOOK FROM US" the point is that fears and delusions depend on the society youre brought up in; and also sorry that a 5 sentences tumblr post didnt go into history of medical malpractice, it was a lighthearted post made by someone with those very issues
yeah, if i lived then, then id have a different delusion more fit to those times - but it would not resemble my current paranoia or nightmares of being drugged or talked to the way ive had medical staff talk to me bc those things are specific to our society.
(Also you can still have your rights denied for being mentally ill today as well?????? what happened to free britney??? And like My family doctor once literally suggested to my dad to involountary check me into psych ward which was smth my psychiatrist at the time was very much trying to avoid because he KNEW how dehumanizing that is, he spent more than sn hour trying to figure out if my visions of suicide were actual suicide risk or intrusive thoughts; telling me later that he was willing to gamble such a huge risk and responsibility he would have to take in case i actually did smth to myself - just to keep me out of the hospital stay because he worked there and SAW how dehumanizing it is. because getting in the ward here doesnt mean youre done when youre out, this shit affects FUCKLOAD of things in your life!)
are you really trying to be like "LETS TAKE AWAY ACCOMODATIONS FROM PEOPLE WHO SUFFER WOOW GOOD JOB" in my inbox rn btw considering that i am literally schizophrenic w some other mental illnesses, and that i take fucking meds upon meds for it, including antipsychotics??????? and i am also very grateful for those aids, but even with meds my condition will never be resolved and its severity very much depends on the people/society around me. my delusions while living in croatia might differ from someone who lives in the usa.
i literally have no patience or attention or care or anything to argue with you rn, if you wanna discuss political or economical or marxist or whatever theory in my inbox go ahead, but i am NOT arguing about my own fucking lived experience and having you speak to me this way, in an incredibly entitled and dismissive way. its late and im going to bed. i genuinely dont care for your "ummmmm ekshually capitalism is noot thaaat bad-" shit while i keep having episodes on the daily in a big part due to fuckin capitalism. losing my other job is putting me through stress because i have no money, but it also eased up certain aspects of my illness because i dont have to hit hardcore fucking deadlines every week.
p.s. who the fuck is talking about money not existing. if you are gonna bring that up within communist theory and up for a serious discussion thats a whole other thing, but moneyless and stateless society doesnt just rest on tadaaah no money, like theres a reason marx wrote books n essays on that shit and why daddy engels sent him checks. and even in ideal communist world we would still have mental illnesses, but i am absolutely positive that my thoughts would differ than the current ones and that they would probably be less severe. and also why is this implying that communism wont have like the fuckin medication
i usually take care to carefully reply to asks and try to actually give a serious opinion but i gen dont care if i sound incoherent rn, this legit pissed me off
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torosdottir · 3 months
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21, 24, 51, 57, 100 but excluding music related
21. What’s the stupidest fight you’ve ever gotten into?
ok idk if this means like an argument or a physical altercation. umm once i was in an argument with a girlfriend because she said i loved doctor 13 more than her. that was a pretty stupid fight and i think she really was upset but the problem was i couldnt in sincerity tell her she was wrong. i was literally like 'you re going to have to accept this about me'. or if it means a physical altercation then one time i was waiting so so so long (we are talking like 2-3 hours) trying to get a taxi home from town and some dude swooped in on one before me and i got so mad i hit him over the head with the only thing i had to hand which was. a rose. guy turns around like what is your FUCKING problem and i was like ok yeah fair play i probably shouldnt have done that. but he started to get mad so i doubled down i was like ok but youre being really fucking dramatic about this it was just a flower i think you'll live. it didnt really escalate past a bit of shoving tho bc he had to get in his taxi so it wasnt really a fight. um also sometimes i punch people at random in the club
24. Do you tend to gravitate more toward using logic or intuition to make decisions?
hm. i think i make an intuitive decision and then am very good at coming up with a million logical arguments to justify it so i can SAY im making a decision based on logic. but its not really true im following my heart always i think.
51. What’s the longest you’ve ever stayed awake?
it is terrifyingly common for me to be awake for 30+ or even 40+ hours but i think one time when i was a teen i was awake for 3 days. like from morning on day one til evening on day 3 so like 60hrs? i was absolutely not grounded in reality by the end of it i was so fucked up.
57. Is there a vine or tik tok you quote often?
there truly is not. i never lived in those places
100. What’s one of your fondest memories? (excluding music related)
ok that is so evil u know my mcr trips are literally my favourite topic of conversation :( i have so many fond memories u dont even want to hear about my late winter sunrise coach journey heading off to sydney listening to rtl u dont even want to hear for the 17th time about when i crowdsurfed to mama in new jersey :( are we even friends.....
im gonna b real with u ive been trying to think of an answer here for quite some time and i dont think i can. im sure i have fond memories that aren't music-related and i know u phrased it like that bc u really didnt want to hear for the 18th time about when i crowdsurfed to mama in new jersey but like. i have been to so many shows and there really is magic in the air there and truly so many of my fondest memories are of those moments. running into people u havent seen in years and catching up and reminiscing... putting ur arm around a friend and wailing along to your favourite songs together.... fighting ur way out of the pit when a certain song starts bc u have to make it back to ur buddy for this one... fighting ur way INTO the pit when a certain song starts and making soulmates with random people for just one night... these ARE my fondest memories!! <3 oh one time i went to see tim minchin w friend as a teen we got high before we went in and it was a beautiful show he closed on white wine in the sun and when we came outside we were still high and it was snowing heavily it was so beautiful and it felt so magical. thats one of my favourite memories i think <3
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bathroomtrapped · 1 year
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What are the basic differences between saws original script and the outcome? Why did they not play those scenes?
theres a lot of superficial changes, like their ages and adams last name being denlon. honestly still not sure where faulkner-stanheight got confirmed as his last name!
a lot of the things that were cut had to do with adams character and im not entirely sure why it was cut. his reason for being there was because he was suicidal. jigsaw said something along the lines of "everyday youve wanted to die". he wanted to go to vet school and had an interaction with some cat in his apartment. theres a scene where his mother calls, saying his father isnt mad and that he should call them. he writes on a sticky note "call mom" then adds a "?"
he has an interaction with a shitty neighbor, begs god to become a better person
theres probably a few small details about him im forgetting bc its been a while since ive reread the screenplay but the common theme is that the saw movie cut out a MASSIVE amount of context for adams character.
im not entirely sure why, i think some scenes might have to do with cutting down on time (the cat scene would probably get cut for time before filming once they actually start working on the project) vs something that was cut to make the story tighter and change adams role in the story.
he tells lawrence that basically, be hid the photo because he "didnt know what he would do". aka he was scared that itd motivate lawrence to kill him more. not sure why this is cut because some people clearly did not pick up on that lol
basically everything we know about adam is only known to us because it has something to do with lawrence. we know it because lawrence needs to. its unfortunately bc i like adam enough to want to know more but it serves the story better. hes the audience. we know what we know bc adam knows it or learns it. hes the one behind the camera. hes a voyeur. hes literally nothing. he died forgotten by basically everyone and hes just BARELY there in the narrative bc hes just... nothing.
at the end of the day, he was just a pawn. hes not important to anyone but lawrence because this is his story. this is his test and were just the people chained up and forced to watch it play out. i imagine his backstory and personal information was cut for this reason.
during the editing process, there were scenes cut. i know the trap was supposed to be more elaborate originally. i think the cat scene was cut out to save time and the mom scene/motivation/history was cut to firmly center the narrative on lawrence
one change that fucking BAFFLES me is that at the end during the love scene, adam originally asks lawrence "am i going to be okay?". in the film its "are WE going to be okay?" umm im honestly not quite sure what series of thoughts propelled them to make such a gay film by accident, call the end the LOVE SCENE publicly, and then proceed to be shocked when people call them on it? leigh was shocked to see chainshipping fics back during the ff.net days (fun fact: the first ever chainshipping fanfic was published on ffnet called rebirth. its still up)
my best guess is that leigh wanted to push their "relationship" (whatever they think that is) further for more emotional pay off. most of the changes seem to pull their themes tighter. it ends up working in its favor. adam is lawrences test and his moral core or whatever, so they have a pretty instant connection. it was probably done to make lawrence suffer more! or maybe make it gayer and leigh is just doing a bit
theres also the lampshade song lol. some dumb shit leigh made up and cary refused to do, so they changed it to the weird little piggy thing instead. MINOR minor improvement
certain words were changed because cary just kinda... rolled with it. he adjusted the script a few times bc he rly liked lawrence for some reason. he still does. leigh just accepted it and let him do his thing
amanda was also amanda denlon in the screenplay im pretty sure
tapp was dunked on by john as he assassins creed-ed him in the throat for being a 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN! absolutely insane
the way adam finds out lawrence is a doctor is different, he talks about possibly being injected with rohypnol LOL
the heart was actually a clue leading to the word toilet written over his heart, under his shirt. the blood heart wasnt in the script LOL. i imagine cary didnt want to have toilet written on his bare chest for the film? a shame
theres more interactions with tapp, sing, lawrence, and brett (his lawyer) im assuming its what happened before they asked lawrence to sit and watch amandas testimony. they say his fingerprints were found at the scene, not a pen. i think either way its interesting because. wow! lawrences prints are in the system which means he has a record. the implications are kinda funny, it makes how baffled he is that tapp dare accuse him of such a thing! even more ironic. now we know that mark was involved in the police and planted the pen, so he probably just out his prints into the system as well
amanda works at lawrences hospital. not sure why this is cut? possibly bc shawnee was begged to join bc james had a big crush on her and she didnt even want to originally. she might notve wanted to do multiple scenes or something at the time before she decided on returning as amanda (for whatever reason, im not quite sure why she became so attached to the series after not joining as enthusiastically as cary did after watching the 2003 short)
amandas reason is also different. i think jigsaw literally hated depressed ppl so much in the script bc she was there for therapy or something LOL. not drugs. prob just cut to improve it
thats all i got. theres a lot of changes for logics sake related to the trap, wording changes for flow (im assuming), time constraints, and to streamline the themes and center it on lawrence
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hella1975 · 1 year
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Reading Tams Chapter 4 : )
Haven't started yet but if whatsherface dies im going to be very disappointed 
Muchen is being a real twat right about now
I feel like Zukos going to fire bend at him
He didnt
Lihua to the rescue!
Are they going to kill her???
No they didnt okay 
I was scared there for a second
FUCK IS SHE GOING TO DIE AGAIN???
No???
HELLA WHAT THE FUCK
YOU KILLED HER
I cant BELIEVE TYOUVE DONE THIS
Im not mad im disappointed
Im not going to recover from this 
I dont think Zuko is either, seems like the type of thing thats going to haunt him the rest of the series.
“if you have me on tumblr then you know lihua was always going to die” idk if you mean like ‘hellas inner circle’ people or people who follow you in general but if its the latter NO THE FUCK I DIDNT 
I HAD FAITH IN YOU 
I HAD FAITH IN YOU AND IT BIT ME IN THE ASS
You let me get emotionally attached I cant believe you
This is traumatic
I didnt have the intention of all but three of these points being about Lihua but thats your own fault
Im getting her name tattooed onto me now i feel the burden to carry her memory with me the rest of my life
Oh my God hella this is the worst thing you’ve ever done
I can excuse you torturing Zuko for like 3 or 4 months (???) and giving him a macBeth level mental breakdown BUT I DRAW THE LINE AT YOU KILLING LIHUA
idek if im spelling her name right.
Im going to have a macbeth level mental breakdown now
Ill try to move on
Have you seen that post that says like ‘when you read multiple fics from the same author sometimes you notice certain like patterns and things that just keep popping up in their writing and stories’? Thats not to quote it but thats the general idea.  
Like in my thing about the last chapter I mentioned the whole ‘leaving a blade behind to tell someone you didnt leave willingly’ thing is prevalent in both taob and tams.  WELL APPARENTLY YOU ALSO GET OFF ON KILLING PEOPLE WHO ARE VERY YOUNG BUT ALSO OLDER SIBLINGS AND THEYRE YOUNGER SIBLINGS ARE ALSO DEPENDANT ON THEM’
 Lihua is with Lanse now in a very specific part of heaven reserved for the characters you have the absolute audacity to murder in cold blood
AND THEY BOTH START WITH THE LETTER L!! COINCIDENCE?? I THINK NOT!
That should have been the first sign
I am never growing attached to people who has L as the first letter of their name again that you write.
Currently scanning my mind of any of the taob people whose name starts with L and I cant think of anyone so this might not be a reliable indicator.
THESE ARE PEOPLE YOUR KILLING HELLA DO THEIR LIVES MEAN NOTHGIN TO YOU???
I cant believe this
Okay serious now
I think
We’ll see
Another thing for my ‘favorite things about hella’ thing and this time it isnt about your writing skills!
(which are magnificent btw, you make it too easy to praise your writing)
You do this thing where you add an x to the end of your messages.  Like I’ve seen you do it on discord and when you screenshot messages you do it and I just think its neat.  
Its not prominent or deep but its worth mentioning
LIST ANON DISCOVERS BRITISH KISSES AT THE END OF SENTENCES IT IS ME GIVING YOU A LITTLE MWAH ON THE NOSE WHEN IM DONE TALKING <3
your live reactions kill me both bc you're so lovely and also seeing INSTANT contradictions is hilarious. im glad you liked the chapter my love <3 i always look forward to your asks, they make my day x <- a kiss for u <3
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chiroptaro · 2 years
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ok so. the cult explanation. actually wait. it would be funnier to tell you in the order ppl found out.
So basically in ! era (there are several eras, ! era was the first phase of the game, !! is the current phase, which takes place a year later, war era takes place before ! era, and pre-war era is anything before that) Kanata was a 3rd year and part of a unit called Ryuseitai. (One of my two faves) Ryuseitai's theme is heroes, specifically the power ranger type, because the leader Chiaki is obsessed with being a hero and Ryst had a history of being a unit of heroes. Anyways Kanata and Chiaki are 3rd years and Kanata has this. weird way of speaking? Where certain words are in parentheses and he pronounces some words wrong or doesnt seem to know what they mean. Anyways Ryst has no 2nd years, but they manage to get 3 1st years in the beginning of the ! era, and absolutely none of them wanted to be there, so basically they got the leftovers, but they were really desperate because they were gonna graduate. Anyways. Kanata is a weird guy who likes to swim in the school fountain, calls Chiaki his hero, speaks weirdly, doesnt refer to himself as a human, but like. maybe hes just kinda like that.
And then Meteor Impact comes out.
Some perspective. Enstars came out in 2015. Meteor Impact, aka the Kanata backstory story, came out in. 2019.
And oh boy!!! It sure is a story!!! one of the only es stories ive read and. jesus. head in hands. its something <will never be over meteor impact
ANYWAYS.
Youve known for a while at this point of the existence in the war era of a group called "The Five Eccentrics", which were a group of five students who were interesting characters who were really good. Eichi used them to wage his war and get Wataru to fall in love with him but thats beside the point. What is the point is that Kanata was one of them (So were Rei and Wataru, vampire guy and the clown in the images i sent you)
Anyways Kanata is part of the five eccentrics. i realized this might not be that important to the cult backstory stuff im trying to tell. whatever
ANYWAYS ANYWAYS.
Chiaki and Kanata are 2nd years during this time. Chiaki is part of Ryuseitai, and Kanata is unaffiliated. Chiaki does a lot of volunteer work bc ryst are heroes, and one of those jobs is to clean the old school pool, which is completely dilapidated. There he meets Kanata, and Kanata asks if he wished the pool would be clean, and he says yes. Next day he returns to clean it and the pool is spotless. He and Kanata start becoming friends even though Chiaki's kinda put off by Kanata's behavior. Kanata keeps saying he'll grant any wish Chiaki wants, Chiaki keeps saying he doesnt have anythimg to wish for. anyways stuff happens. Chiaki keeps hearing rumors about shady peoplearound the school. At some point his friend who is an ex thug gets beat up by his old friends and Chiaki tells Kanata about it. The friend gets mad because his old friends got super scared bc the police came and threatened them. Chiaki wishes for ryst, which has become lazy and lost reputation, to be more motivated, and they do.
He finds out that theres actually a cult doing everything Kanata "wishes", but Kanata believes hes a god who grants wishes for people. he doesnt see himself as human, and only thinks hes worth soemthign when hes serving others by granting their wishes. Also the cult was formed because a meteor fell like a bajillion years ago and it had some sickness on it so people started sacrificing ppl to try to get rid of the sickness and that didnt work so then they ate a guy and that worked and that was Kanata's ancestor so basically theyve kept his lineage alive incase another meteor comes so then they could eat him. He is aware of this. Anyways Chiaki's trying to save him from the cult, at one point Kanata wants to return "home" (the ocean) so he just.walks into it and Chiaki dives in to save him because hes literally about to drown himself and Kanata gets upset because he cant breathe under water because he thought he could but everyone was jsut gaslighting him around him and then Chiaki;s like "ill save you, i want to be your friend" and Kanata's like "well if thats what you wish" and Chiaki's like "no, its my dream" and then he goes with Kanata to his public execution
Oh yeah uh. so like Eichi is going around "defeating" all the five eccentrics in idol battles to motivate the rest of the school but Chiaki is there with Kanata which automatically disqualifies them but then kanata joins ryst and everyone else leaves because theyre freaked out by him and then they adopt three lovely children the end <3
okay wow okay okay oka
ok so the order is pre-war, war, !, !!
wait okay so the cult is only keeping his lineage alive so they can eat him just in case. but then why are they granting wishes for him? is it bc he's seen as like, sacred? or is it just himself who sees himself as a god?
^ and how do they grant them in the first place??
why is kanata's home the ocean??? why does he think he can breathe underwater?? wjat??
wdym by they were gaslighting him when he was retunring to the ocean were they like "no ya u def can breathe in water i saw u do it like a few months ago" or what
also can't believe gay people are real?? "no, it's my dream." hot diggity dog
WHY IS KANATA BEING PUBLICLY EXECUTED IS IT JUST FOR FUNSIES
[unrelated to the cult q's]
how do the units work? it sounds. kinda like themed clubs is that what they are?
you said there's the vampire guy right. so is there just magic people? what's the dealio in the case of fantasy races in enstars
WHO THE HELL IS EICHI AND WHY DID HE START A WAR OVER HIS GAY CRUSH HOLY MOLY
i want 2 know more about the 5 eccentrics they sound like a delight
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harryconcepts · 1 year
Text
part 64
getting jealous of harry moaning for someone else .... saying "I don't like it that everyone knows what you sound like now 😠" he would kiss you and smile against your lips saying "I saved the real moans, the good ones only you can get out of me... those are only for you to hear, i promise" and you would bring him upstairs and remind him just what those real moans are like 😋then he would be so vocal with you, making sure you know that he belongs to you and you only 😋
harry for sure like to sit on the couch and have you sit between his legs with your back against his chest while you watch tv 😔 he likes to wrap his arms around you and feel close😔 and he usually holds your boobs so gently not leading anywhere but he likes to feel your heartbeat 😔
harry would lay next to you in bed and put his hand or arm over your chest because he knows pressure like that helps anxiety and it'll help you calm down to sleep 😔
harry is aaaaalways staring at your chest 😌 you wear shirts he can see your nipples through on purpose and act all 🙄 when he looks but you both know you do it just so he'll stare 😌 he likes touching too, very gently just to tease 😌
every time you have sex Harry would not be able to stop saying he loves you 🤕 when he first pushes in he's tucking his head in your neck and gripping at your hips to keep you still bc he's close to cumming already and he says "i love you, love you so much baby you're so good, fuck I love you" and you're clawing at his back trying to deal with how good everything feels and you're nodding with him, you let out a little moan and say "I love you too, you always feel so- so good, love you so much" 🤕every time you clench around him he groans and lets out a choked little "i love you" 🤕🤕🤕
flashing harry 😋 you say "hey harry" and when he looks you lift your shirt for a second then drop it and say "that's all 😋" and turn away and he's all "iiiii don't fucking think so" and he's coming after you 😋 you squeal and start to run and he yells "SHOW ME AGAIN I DIDNT SEE IT GOOD ENOUGH" and runs after you 😋
after harry rails you halfway to death and makes you cum three times he rolls off you and lays on his back next to you trying to catch his breath and then he gets up to get a cloth to clean you off 😌 when he comes back in he takes a big breath and says "it smells like SEX in here" and come over to clean you up 😌
I wanna have a fight with harry that leads to filthy nasty sex 😋 clawing at each other and gasping and being so rough and making up for all the harsh words with kisses 😋he would give it to you so good when he's a little mad 😋 choking you and throwing you around and biting to mark you up 😋
when Harry comes home to see you sitting on the couch, bundled up in a blanket, your hair up in a messy ponytail and no makeup on, he's coming over to kiss you and he says "you look so hot right now 😋" and you roll your eyes but he says "I'm serious, you're always hot but right now you're extra hot 😋"
the first time you see harry naked you're like ......you're really fucking big did you know that? and he's like "really? hm never noticed" and you're rolling your eyes but you say "seriously though i think that's gonna hurt" and he smirks saying "we'll just have to make sure you're nice and ready for me then, won't we?" and he pushes you down onto the bed 😋
you stop setting the table and get stuff ready on the counter instead since you know he'll be all over you 😋 he walks in and backs you up against the table, then he glances behind you and looks at you like🤨 and you're all "it's still all ready and stuff, it's just over there...." and he's smirking saying "and why would that be?" and you say "because I know you have... certain tendencies when you get in a mood" and he's leaning closer to you, his arms on either of your sides trapping you against the table and he says "and what would those be?" and you say "do you really need me to tell you?" and he puts his hand on your back to help you lay down slowly and he says "no, i think I know what you mean" 😋
no bc this coughing talk is making me want harry so bad 😔 he would rub your back and he would stay so calm so you don't start to panic and he would feel so bad that he can't make it better 😔 he would hand you your water bottle and make sure you take a few sips, saying "you're alright, you're doing good" and talk you through it gently to keep you calm 😔
harry loves giving you goosebumps i fear 😌 whispering dirty words in your ear and dragging his fingertips gently along your skin and licking all over your body 😌 he just loves to see how responsive you are for him 😌
having a lazy day with harry, just laying around in bed kissing for hours🤕 you're both warm from the blankets and being so cuddled up and you're just all over each other 🤕 your leg is thrown over both of his and his arm is around you to keep you close 🤕 you reach up to play with his hair and you're both moaning softly bc it all just feels so good 🤕 when you need a little break you pull away and tuck your head in his chest and he starts kissing down your neck 🤕
harry would beg and beg to get you to sit on his face 🤕 he's all "please baby please i love you so much and i just want to make you feel good please please" grabbing at your legs 🤕 you say "I'm too heavy I'll crush you" and he shakes his head and says "i promise you're not... I'm a big boy i can handle it just please" so finally you agree and he's never looked happier, he's pulling you up his torso and settling you on his chest 🤕 he smirks and says "come on, I'm very talented but I can't quite reach when you're so far away" so you sigh and move the rest of the way up, you're hovering above his face but he loops his arms around your thighs and pulls you down 🤕 he holds you so tight so you can't squirm away from him and he goes to town 🤕
I think harry wakes up hard most mornings and usually you're asleep so you don't know anything about it but one morning you're up earlier than normal for whatever reason so you roll over and cuddle up to him, ready to fall back asleep, but then you feel how hard he is and you're like.... hello there? and you can almost hear him blushing in his voice and he says "yeah... happens most mornings just go back to sleep it'll go away" and you're quiet for a minute before your hand starts sliding down his chest 😌 soon you're palming him through his sweatpants and he groans a little, he grabs your wrist and says "I'm serious, it'll go away and it's too early for you to be up anyways, just go back to sleep" and you look up to look at him, saying "maybe i don't want to go to sleep... maybe i had a really nice dream and maybe I'm already wet and maybe I need you to fuck me before I can fall back asleep" and during your little speech his grip on your wrist loosens bc he's too busy watching your lips 😌 so your hand slowly moves back down and starts palming him again and this time he doesn't stop you 😌 he just watches and lets out a little moan when you touch him, then he says "had a dream about me, hm? what was i doing?" and you say "i could tell you... or we could act it out?" and he's more than down for that 😌
thinking about being an artist and asking harry if you can draw him 😋 he says yes ofc and he's like "so did you want my clothes off or...." and you're like stop it harry you are the devil but he just smiles and says "I guess we'll keep them on... for now 😋" so he gets settled in his pose and when you're working on his face you say "for this one i think I want your natural face, just relax and don't smile" and he nods and keeps his face neutral for about 5 seconds before he breaks into giggles 😔 you're like "what??" and he says "I'm sorry, I'm sorry let me-" and he clears his throat and wipes his smile away, but before you can even look down at your paper again he's grinning 😔 he says "I'm so sorry I'm trying so hard i just keep smiling" and you can't help but laugh at how truly unserious he is all the time so you shake your head and say "that's okay, your face is cuter when you smile anyways" and you end up with a drawing of him looking so so so happy 😔
I fear harry loves making you cum and being sweet to you but I fear he loves edging you even more 🤕 i fear he loves seeing you cry after he's edged you for the fifth time and then he loves pouting at you, wiping the tears away and saying "such a good girl for me, hm? you are, my best girl, so you're gonna be so good for me and give me a few more, okay?" and all you can do is nod 🤕 he would smile and say "my pretty baby" and kiss your forehead, using one hand to hold you steady by your waist while his other hand moves down between your legs to where you're dripping for him 🤕 and he would be so mean too, when your hips jerk away from his fingers he would click his tongue and murmur "now that's not nice, need you to stay still for me... if you don't do that I can always tie you up, but I don't want to have to do that... you'll be good for me, won't you?" and when you take a deep shaky breath and nod he smiles and says "that's my girl" and gets back to touching🤕🤕🤕
i think Harry is very much into making you cum several times 😋youll be whiny and oversensitive and almost pushing him away but he just grabs your wrist and says "do you really want me to stop?" and you're breathing heavily for a minute before you shake your head and say "no, i don't want you to stop" and he has such an evil smile on his face when he says "then you're gonna be a good girl for me, and give me a few more" and you have no idea how many that even means but you know he's not stopping until he's ready 😋 after your third you really can't stay still, it feels so good and you're so sensitive so you're squirming away from his touch but he just grips you a little tighter and pulls you closer to his face 😋 he's obsessed with the noises you make and how desperate you sound 😋 then you can't take it so you're really trying to pull away from him but he just follows you up the bed and says "where do you think you're going? I'm not done with you yet" 😋😋😋
and whenever you walk around shirtless Harry's coming over to play with your nipples 😋 he runs his thumbs over them gently to make them hard and he even leans down to kiss each one 😋 your fingers tangle in his hair and he's so content 😋
ranting to plugrry about how much you hate this girl in one of your classes and you're all "she ALWAYS asks to copy my notes and i KNOW she never even reads the textbook and she has a B in the class because of me... she just knows I'm too nice to say no 🙄" and he's quiet for a second before he says "want me to kill her for you?" and you stare at him for about 3 seconds and then you both burst out laughing because he's literally a baby and he would never hurt a fly 😭
stop stop stop i will literally off myself thinking about him curled up in bed all sniffly and his nose red from using tissues and his throat all scratchy..... you go to get in with him and he's telling you no bc he doesn't want you to get sick but you take one look at how he's shivering bc he has a fever and you're shushing him and climbing in to hold him 😭😭😭😭😭
you would let him look at you in your pretty clothes for a while before you get changed into some of his clothes, you pull the covers up a little higher to his chin and kiss his forehead saying "I'm gonna make you some soup, okay?" and he nods with a tiny smile 😔 you come back and he's almost asleep but he sits up rubbing his eyes, you set the little tray down on his bedside table and say "if you were sleeping I can put this away and heat it up for later?" but he shakes his head and says "it's okay I'm up" so you sit next to him while he takes a few bites 😔 you tell him about your day and he just listens bc his throat hurts too much to talk a lot but he's never been happier 😔when he's done eating he's yawning and you know he needs to rest so you say "I'll go, but you better call me if you need anything, okay?" and he pouts a bit and says "will you stay with me?" and ofc you can't say no to him so you nod and climb under the covers 😔 he's about to protest but you cut him off saying "everyone's sick right now anyways, I'm going to get it sooner or later so i might as well lay with you" and he can't argue with that logic so he lays his head on your chest so you can play with his hair and he's out like a light 😔
harry would call you all sorts of pet names 😌 darling and missy and pretty and love and honey and sweet girl and dear and dearest and literally all the sweet things 😌 when he calls you by your real name you're like 😠 absolutely not 😠
i need to go on vacation with harry I know he gets extra extra horny on vacay and he just wants to love on you and make you cum over and over 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕 when you're spent you lay together for a while just trying to become a person again and after a while he leans over with a cheeky smile and kisses your cheek saying "let me know when you're ready to go again" 🤕🤕🤕
harry I will bring you ginger ale and blue jello and warm water with honey and lemon and spaghettios and rice with brown sugar and a warmed up rice stuffed animal and I'll fill your water bottle and bring you cough drops and put chapstick on your lips and take a hot shower with you so the steam will make you better ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️
noooo when he's finally feeling better he's so excited to see his baby again and he picks her up, smelling her head bc he missed that newborn smell so so so much and he says "my favorite girl, I missed you so much" and you're watching from the doorway, you scoff and say "i thought I was your favorite girl?" and he turns slowly, he gives you a big smile and nods out his free arm for you saying "of course you are... I can have two favorite girls 😁" and you're all mhmmm but you hug him back anyways, shushing each other when your baby whimpers a little but he rubs her back and that quiets her down right away 😭😭😭
when you get a little more comfortable around harry and you're more okay with being naked or mostly naked around him he would constantly be all 😋😋😋😋😋 you're laying on your side in bed watching a show on your phone and he comes in to see you mostly covered in the blankets but your boobs are out and he's all 😋 well hello there 😋 or you come downstairs in the morning to find him and the only thing you're wearing is his sweatpants 😋 his eyes would pop out of his head and he would spin around to fully look at you and he's like "come here please 😋" putting his hands on your arms and ducking his head down to really look at you 😋 he's seen you a thousand times but he's still obsessed with you 😋
whenever you're hormonal and being a bit of a bitch to harry he would be so good 😔 the first time you snap at him he's a little surprised and he's not sure what's wrong so he just stays out of your way for a little while, but then later he's asking what you want to eat and you roll your eyes and say something snarky and he comes over to sit by you and says "is everything okay? I know you're upset but is it something I did?" and you look at him for about 5 seconds before your chin is wobbling and your eyes are tearing up and he's freaking out internally not sure what he did wrong but you just launch forward and hug him 😔 you're nearly sobbing and you say "I'm just having the worst day and everything is making me mad and my boobs really hurt and I didn't mean to yell at you and I'm sorry 😭😭😭" and he hugs you back right away, shushing you gently and rocking you back and forth a little bit saying "it's okay, I'm not mad at you baby, just having a tough day, hm?" and you nod still crying on him 😔 he says "I'm going to order us some food, you'll feel better once you eat something" and he holds you for as long as you need 😔 later after you've eaten and you're laying on the couch with him, his hands are on your chest holding you so gently to help the soreness, and you turn your head and say "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be mean to you, thank you for getting me food and loving me anyways" and he hums softly, leaning to kiss your forehead and he says "I'm always gonna love you no matter what, even if you yell at me sometimes" 😔😔😔
please you're telling him "we don't have to do anything, I just want to help you feel better" as you're playing with his hair and he says "I will, promise I'll feel better if you'll let me touch you... please baby please" and he's all whiny and keeps trying to cuddle closer to you 😌 you shush him gently and say "take a nap first, then when you wake up we'll see how you feel" and he knows you're right, he is still a little sleepy and he knows you'll be here when he wakes up 😌
I need plugrry so bad he's so cool and collected all the time but he's so sweet with you 😌 always calling you sweet girl and doting on you and doing everything for you 😌 buying you things just bc he wants to see you smile and do good for his girl 😌 he knows you're inexperienced and he doesn't mind, he's more than happy to go slow and let you practice with him 😌
the first few times you and harry have sex he makes it 100% about you 🤕 asking what you want and watching so carefully to figure out what feels good for you 🤕 his goal is to get you off at least twice so he knows how to make it good for his girl 🤕
harry noticing you get off so much faster when he's vocal so he makes sure he always is for you 🤕 he doesn't hold back even a little bit, he needs to give you anything you want so he's always moaning and whining and gasping how good you make him feel 🤕
I know Harry's sick rn but I am too so I need him to take care of me 😔 or we could take care of each other 😔 laying in bed cuddled up together drifting in and out of sleep 😔 when we wake up we make some soup together in the kitchen wrapped in blankets and eat it on the couch watching a show 😔 taking turns to go refill water bottles and get more cold medicine and spending the whole day cuddled up 😔
harry grabbing your hair to make you look at him 🤕 closing his fist in the hair right by your scalp to tilt your head up and using enough pressure to get your attention but never to hurt you 🤕🤕🤕 the first time he does it bc you're being a brat and he's over it so he just grabs you and leans in close to your face, glancing down at your lips before he looks back to your eyes and he murmurs "watch the attitude, love, or you won't like what happens" and he's about to let go but then he sees how wide your pupils are and how fast you're breathing so he pauses, then he smirks and says "you like that shit, don't you? you like it when I'm a little mean, when i boss you around" and all you can do is nod 🤕🤕🤕
i need... i need to let harry practice on me....... thinking about him being nervous and so worried because he just wants to make you feel good....... he's asking if he did okay and if it feels good and he's timid but good at taking directions 😋 he would be so needy too and whimpering when you finally touch him 😋 subrry my beloved 😋
sorry i fear harry is so gentle when he goes down on you when he's in a lovey mood... he has his hands resting on your sides and every so often he runs them up and down bc he just wants to feel you 🤕 he's so soft with his tongue that it has you begging for more but he just wants to go slow and enjoy it 🤕 finally when you're close he nudges his nose a little deeper and hums "let go for me sweet girl" and he holds your waist just a little tighter so he can keep you still and work you through it 🤕🤕🤕
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ashtraysystem · 1 year
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i am frustrated.
this happened like months ago but i dont like my vitamin d gummies bc i had put a certain brand in the cart and then dad took them out and replaced it with a brand i dont like witbout telling me. so ive had just a jar of vitamin d gummies that i hate for months even tho i should take vitamin d.
its so much easier to buy things myself bc then i can assure i get what i want when it comes to this stuff bc i need to make it a habit.
why does my dad have to be so cheap on my requests yet spend hundreds of dollars on stuff he uses maybe twice??
im not the only one he fuvks over with this too. he had our mechanic add his number to our account as the primary and me and mom literally freaked out when we found out bc hes just so mean and tries to get the cheapest possible price at the cost of his own reputation and mom and i hate that. hes so mean to people in service jobs and neither of us really understand why. we like our mechanic and we dont want him to fuck us over by being an asshole to them, so we literally had to put him on a seperate account bc mom and i dont trust him with out cars. he barely takes care of his own and cheaps out when it comes to repairs. he also used the wrong snow brush on my mom's fancy car at one point bc he didnt realize it could scratch it, and since its moms first ever brand new car shes really protective of it and takes extra care of it.
i just dont get it. dad is such an enigma most of the time bc hes so contradictory. he has such double standards for us vs him, and at this point me and the rest of my family straight up ignore him bc he doesnt listen to us.
he'll ask us as a group to do something, and i'll tell him he has to assign and tell someone specific to do it. instead he pussyfoots around it and is like "hey will you do this thing please?" instead of being like "i need you to do this thing for me please". his mistake is he gives my siblings and i the option to say no, but then gets mad when we do. honest to god if he just told one of us to specifically do a thing it would be more likely to get done!!!
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sanchoyo · 1 year
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arc v 66-80 thoughts! oh my God So Much Happens All The Time. we got to the fourth opening/ed already??? im halfway into the series I think and im shocked by the implications of the op/ed (that we'll seemingly be spending another full arc in synchro. not complaining I just thought this would be shorter, at this rate most of the series will be taking place in synchro wont it?? whats the synchro to standard episode ratio...)
-aaaah crows kids showed up to watch him duel and it had him worried for the majority of the duel. cute. (also I hope theyve been ok since hes been in jail/here at the friendship cup locked in a fucking room) im glad he won…
-….and concerned bc Crime Dad broke into yuyas room to tell him the losers (and also ppl who get taken from the prison) go to some kind of underground garbage plant to basically be WORKED TO DEATH. see when a few eps ago we learned some ppl get taken out of prison and never return I assumed they just were. shooting them to kill them out back like ole yeller bc of overpopulation. nope! cant decide if this is better or worse than that assumption… both are pretty bad…
-how tf is layra supposed to do a riding duel!! theyre so tiny! where will their emotional support stuffed animal sit! tf! im glad yuya and crimedad are treating this as awful as it is and are also pissed. what the FUCK and god layra RUNNING to yuya and clinging to him and yuya tearing into reiji saying 'if YOU wont protect layra /I/ will!' LIKE. LOVE THIS ENERGY YUYA. I feel like reiji is 100% withholding info about layra but still. kid is TERRIFIED and yuya had SO many valid points (layra still wanting to be with big bro reiji and trusting him auugh)
-reiji is a bit Too Calm abt all of this so I cant imagine this is his first time handling this kinda situation. and layra having a goddamn meltdown panic attack when reiji leaves and running after him BEGGING him not to leave and saying 'ill do whatever u want!! always!!!' I DONT LIKE THIS. NOT ONE BIT. at least reiji was like 'its okay. im proud and happy youre defying me bc it means ur developing a will of your own' and having ninjaguy fight in layras place…like. very many feelings abt this. I still can't fault reiji 100% either bc we Learn layra is from a 'war torn region in a certain country' I KNEWWW IT I KNEW LAYRA WAS ADOPTED the timeline with reijis dad going to academia didnt make sense for reiji to have a younger sibling. my original theory was xyz dimension but it didnt look like heartland in the little bit we could see. so just some random war-torn country…um. so they have ptsd. and reijis mom is like 'yeah hes got no will so he can be a useful asset to us!" throw the whole woman away. tf is wrong with u ppl. at least reiji is defying his mom on this and wanting layra to be happy… oh…reiji im so sorry sweetie both u and layra have such shit parents….maybe its actually for the best reiji took layra with him, i would not fucking trust his mom with this kid! reiji is just Cleaning up his Parents messes. actually that perfectly explains his Hyper Responsible personality. he prob never got to be a kid….IM SO SAD. AAUGH! ygo is nothing w/out family drama
-…yuya getting mad reiji sent ninjaguy in layras place but dude SOMEONE wouldve had to go if not him?? what do u want reiji to DO yuya hes working with what he can and hes prob 10 steps ahead anyway
-yooo shinji is fun actually, I feel like him and shun would get along great. both freedom fighters. shinji trying to start a RIOT with his duel. love that. (also just love ninjaguy too. i didnt love either enough to root for one or the other, im fine w/ whoever wins but shinji had a CAUSE yk)
-so reiji is fine w them being sent to the forced labor place. I mean. all of them but the top winner WILL be so ofc he had a plan to get them out of that. not at all surprised bc hes been THEE best at planning and staying cool as a cucumber. not even worried abt it if hes in charge. if reijis not worrying neither am I
-smile chojiro is a great character. i love his whole motto 'dont be ashamed of defeat, dont be complacent in victory' im also glad he didnt just throw the duel to keep yuzu from going to the forced labor camp (I mean…/i/ would have if I was fighting a 14 yr old girl kajhfkj gotta protecc the kids or whatever) but that wouldve cheapened her win. I KNEW she would win and im so proud of her. yuya tearing up when she used his catch phrase to let him know shes ok ;__; god that duel made me SO emotional theyre both great
-I knew serena would win fast against some rando named 'tony' with the blandest design ever. did not disappoint. but the other characters made comments like 'oh if I wasnt dueling today I coulve slept in'…theyre only doing like FOUR DUELS PER DAY IN THIS TOURNAMENT?? PEOPLE GO TO A STADIUM TO SEE (4) DUELS???! oh my god thats so ridiculous. how much is a ticket in???…how long have they been in synchro dimension??? like, they were in jail a While too werent they?? so like. a MONTH?? LONGER?? everyone is gonna be so behind on school when they get back. yes thats what im worried abt.
-yuya getting mad this is all unfair and yelling its wrong and the 'friendship cup' should be canceled bc the losers just get sent to the forced work facility (slave camp. yuya, just say it for what it is) is like..well whatre you gonna do abt it! we already had a lil speech abt how the 1% of this world are living it up and the 99% are in slums, having to clean up the MASSIVE waste the 1% cause and having to struggle to SURVIVE and your only NOW getting really pissed abt it? (also, too real) you HAVE a pocket demon we havent seen in like 30-40 episodes…bring it out and let it eat the rich people and the cops! whats the problem!
-OH MY GOD. jack atlas and reiji and layra hanging out having dinner together. i am going to lose my mind. HE THINKS YUZU HAD THE MOST PROMISE OUT OF ALL THE DAY ONE DUELISTS TOO!!!! BRO. JACK. JACK U ARE THE BESTEST EVER!!! SAME HAT!!!!!! also the fact no one else is Eating but layra has a full course is so funny jsdkj whyre they all just having tea? did they finish before them or…
-god damn jack is different…he seems more mature? he called the commons his origin and his pride and is super observant of layra and says he wishes he couldve seen them duel and. tbh thats cute and probably smth layra needed to hear (I am still FIrmly against letting this child on a motorcycle tho) jack. jack i love u
-god the card jack got inspired by was the one he gave to sam who was UNGRATEFUL FOR IT. i cant believe this. this jack is SO nice i love him so much
-tf why is the crowd cheering a cop on a bike and booing yuya. yuya im SO sorry for these dumbasses. /I/ am cheering for u. AND HES TELLING THE CROWD ABT THE LABOR CAMPS!!! HEY YUYA I LOVE YOU SPEAK THE TRUTH. im sorry the crowd is…Like That! theyre all CHEERING like 'HELL YA WE LOVE WHEN THE LOSERS GET SENT TO WORK CAMPS TO DIE!!' WHAT THE FUCK!!! jack is like 'dude they only care about WINNERS opinions' HAHA speaking from experience aren't u jack. hes kinda right tho. WIN and THEN make ur speech. its all about TIMING unfortunately
-hey the cop has a fusion card. WHERE did he get that? reiji says a rat is in and my first thought was dennis, but hes been locked in his room too, right? (and lets be real I dont see fucking DENNIS as a real threat. nor do I see a random literally characterless faceless cop as a threat, but its the implication a fusion person snuck in synchro and is sabotaging our Heroes)
-yuya's eyes lit up for like 0.2 second. I wish I could tell if that was yuto's influence or yuyas demon (?? I need a better name for it. but we havent SEEN it in like. 30-40 episodes LMAO let alone had any kind of explanation, so) I geeeeeet that sending ANYONE to the horrible forced labor camps is bad, but yuya. you gotta get to the top if you want ppl to listen. you cant single handedly do much, you are 14. 'bc of me he was sent underground' if it wasnt him itd be u. and its not like u took him there urself, chill yuya. we'll fix this stuff im SURE
-oh my god shingo v yugo is happening. I am SHAKING. the SILLYBOYS. I want them to interact MORE. I figured yugo would win (since im sure we'll get a yuya v yuto match based on the op…) but shingo put up a GOOD FIGHT and put on a good show and im proud
-…yuya seems to be able to directly tap into yugo's thoughts when their dragons are like resonating and seemed to be losing his sense of self. concerning? we havent really seen serena or yuzu do smth like this so im like. is it rly Just smth abt the yuya counterparts?? very unsettling scene. yuya has SOME level of influence too bc yugo said yuyas lil fun catchphrase (smth both yuzu and shingo caught…) …is that why yuya kinda absorbed yuto ?? bc hes like. the Alpha Counterpart or smth. ?? horror movie stuff!
-sergey is the scariest man ive ever seen. christ. he 'died' once before and can CONTROL MINDS?? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.
-omg ninjaguy snuck into 'hell' to make sure everyone is ok. is THAT reijis plan? just rely on ur personal ninja to do everything? ok tbf if /i/ had a personal ninja Id Do The Same Damn Thing. im sure eventually hes gonna use him to get them out…the way I believe in them…
-theres a rumor roget is from another dimension so he def is. like working with leo? not at all surprised. hes def getting the duelists from hell from gallagar to send to fight in the fusion v xyz war is my assumption
-STOPPP LAYRA PLAYING JACKS WORDS IN THEIR MIND TO INSPIRE THEM AND APOLOGIZING TO NINJAGUY WAS SO CUTE.
-yuyas letter to yuzu was also Cute
-god why does shun keep having to duel Secretly Fusion ppl this sucks for him LMAO. not that I think Fucking Dennis can beat shun but STILL. at least shun is like 'no hes def bullshitting' like hes a smart cookie.
-…what the hell are they going to do if dennis DOES show his true colors btw? theyre all kinda stranded in another dimension rn. are they just gonna let him go to the underground plant and not get him out too?? jkhfksdf omg I CANNOT see reiji doing that. i feel like dennis is enough of a weenie we can bully him into switching sides. the tension between shun and dennis tho…preddy thick. pretty spicy
-Oh! hes got ancient gear cards! didnt the prof from gx use those? that tracks. fun callback
-reiji not even PHASED by dennis being academia hes like. and? and bitch? you got smth to say? to the council. LMAO I LOVE him no bullshit with him ever
-oh HELL no dennis was the one who STARTED THE ATTACK ON HEARTLAND (that he calls the hunting game) BECAUSE HE FOUND RURI??? 'i wanted to keep doing street shows' WELL YOU SHOULDVE.
-omg ruri's design is SO cute. shes got feather motifs! does she also have a birdy deck like her bro! thats cute! I hope so!
-SORA IS HERE??? HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN HERE??? HIIII WELCOME BACK !!!!! BEST SURPRISE
-dennis being like 'now that ive cast aside being an entertainer, even the action cards have forsaken me?!" no…no bud its prob bc YOU caused debris all over the field. so still kinda your own damn fault which is funny to watch
-SHUN SNIPED DENNIS FROM SPACE. BEST FINISH TO A DUEL EVER. EVER EVER EVER XYZ REPRESENT YES SHUN YES!!!!! he was aggressively trying to turn him into a card and when that didnt work (reiji modified his duel disk lmao) HE TRIED PUNCHING HIM AND GOT PULLED AWAY. WAS HE GOING TO BEAT HIM TO DEATH THE OLD FASHIONED WAY??? SHUN. PLEASE. i love u.
-waaait is 76 just a recap ep. booooooo ive been binging these i dont NEED a recap. I JUST watched them all in a row like a maniac. im watching this ep on 2x speed to make it go Faster. smh. I do kind of appreciate a streamlined explanation of why the council ppl kept roget around even knowing hes a snake but Still.
-oh, its also interesting yuris job seems to be taking the yuzu-counterparts? do him and serena know each other? i dont THINK weve seen them interact but idk! since all of the yuzus and yuyas seem to be friends its just interesting hed be chosen for that job
-ok only the first half or so was a recap? cool. slowin it back to normal then...
-…what the fuck is kings gambit. he put MIND CONTROL CHIPS IN ALL THE COPS BRAINS? HOW? Roget is going against academia for his own purposes. reiji immediately calls him out on his bullshit invitation to help. fucking love you reiji
-sora got dennis hahah. how do sora and dennis not Know each other. it was weirdly nice of sora to help dennis and sora is like. Determined to get serena and yuzu. but. We Will See about that. I feel like serena is just gonna pummel him into a pancake and yuzu will give him a smack with her fan and a tight hug and he will break down like a little nervous chihuahua. this is my prediction.
-new op and ed this ep too btw! LOVEEE the new op, prob my 2nd fav next to the first one. really good soft metal sound. new ed is also REALLY GOOD. awww all the girls together!! and even. sora and jack next to each other. god last ed was my fav but this one is FIGHTING it I cant pick which I like better LMAO theyre REALLy good. interesting imagery too. MAYBE im reading too much into it but jack and sora are both on the outskirts of the grass…are they going to interact? and sora is sorta balled into himself and turned away from everyone else, but he very much still IS with them in the grass. makes u think….
-also the ed has yuri in it and ruri and rin finally. theyre also hanging out and being cute. when will yuri and the girls join the gang. we can all be friends :3 even if ur a lil squirrely evil guy its ok!
-…also shingo blushing and looking at serena. WHAT. have we gotten any inkling of a crush on her from him?? we havent right??? like HUH? she does punch him in her sleep which is so funny KJHADKJF but like. theyd be the funniest couple ever im wheezing
-yeah ok this is my favorite ed so far. its so goddamn cute theyre all just RELAXING TOGETHER BEING ADORABLE. sleeping baby layra and reiji sleeping in his glasses like a nerd sold me.
-I'm around the halfway point of the series I think! thats fun! …none of my big questions have been answered in any substantial way yet hahah. I'm hoping the next arc..we get to see yuri more finally (and for yuto to make a comeback, which. obv he must before the series ends…) and also I want to see ruri and rin more!!! and more lancer interactions in general I want them to hang out and be buds…I know the whole plot is stopping an inter-dimensional war which does fuck severely but I just. dunno. some slice of life eps would be nice after this arc…everything has been go go go fast heavy for a while and i need. a breather (that isnt a recap..)
-something I realized about Character designs (im in the middle of doing fanart while watching haha) Yuya's dad is dressed like a ringleader. yuya is clown-coded (aka part of the ringleaders circus). yuyas dad disappeared. so…would it be insane to assume he might be Behind stuff, like a plot twist villain? I know hes at least INVOLVED SOMEHOW (he gave yuya his pendulum necklace too didnt he…much to think abt) ….hm…. also! fun thing I didnt notice until now is yuya is color matched with his odd eyes isnt he? both are red/green? thats so fun
-yuzu v sergey was a big pile of bullshit. she didnt deserve to lose the first match of the 2nd round. I saw it coming and it still pissed me off. i wanted her to WIN, or at least get to the finals! generally just really annoyed over it. fuck you sergey and fuck you to the ppl who wrote it like that
-yuya v shinji (who I cant help but think of as a k-mart generic brand yusei from the neurotypical section instead of my Beloved Brand Name Yusei from the Autism section) was Tough. yuya is trying to fight for an interdimensional war (…his goal of making everyone smile pushed aside for the moment…which is like. fair. rn dueling is a tool of WAR or REVOLUTION we cant do those with smiles usually…) but shinji is trying to start a revolution against the upper class…neither of them are WRONG and it sucks but yuya as the main character Couldnt Lose. And the stunt Roget pulled after sucked for everyone :< ...cant believe crow actually believed it tho god. I know its for plot reasons but imo hes smarter than that..
-I will say im SO glad sora is back. omg hiii sora :D he 1. saved yuzu 2. WENT TO MAKE SURE YUYA KNEW YUZU WAS OK??? so fucking good Im so Glad. (also bonus points to ME for calling this happening. sora NEVER had any ill will towards the two of them, i KNEW he was attached to them) hes gonna join up soon isnt he :3c i KNEW it. <- pleased I called this (tbf I thought itd happen way later but who knows if its actually happening now or if yuyas just planting seeds of doubt in his brain. sora already is calling academia a hell so. he just needs a gentle lil shove in the right direction...also I want to see him and shun make up an be buds. that might be asking too much tho...shun doesnt owe him forgiveness but...it would b CUTE)
-then him and yuya just sit and talk about it…sora admits theyre his first real friends I AM LIVING RN. BEST BEST TROPE EVER. HE HAD SUCH A HARD LIFE TOO FUCK U ACADEMIA. he SCOURED academia and even checked standard to find yuzu…so sweet… his big plan was to let yuya let him take serena back home instead of yuzu and thats like. even IF yuya was that heartless (which hes obv not…) and they did that, its a band-aid solution bc dennis will prob report yuzu… ergh.
-yuya said he TRUSTS SORA TO KEEP YUZU SAFE. IF HE CANT HES GONNA FEEL LIKE SHIT. HES /GOTTA/ SWITCH SIDES NOW JKDHAKFJ
-they then hype yuri up more like 'ohhh its only a matter of time before they send him!' PROMISE, ROGET?? I WANT TO SEE MORE OF HIM. ITS LIKE. EPISODE 80 AS I TYPE THIS….I THINK WE'VE GOTTEN LIKE. 1-2 MINUTES OF SCREENTIME FOR HIM EVER.
-BY THE WAY. sora is a goddamn parkour master, jumping around on buildings and stuff my god. I know he was trained and stuff by academia whcih we saw a bit of in a flashback montage…but its lichrally insane. anime parkour
-oh my god crow v shun is next. why do birds have to fight….. sad! my prediction is crow wins just bc shun doesnt have any real personal stakes rn...I mean sure the lancers are trying to prove their might or w/e but on a personal level shun has no beef w crow or synchro yk. whereas for crow hes got beef w jack (and now yuya possibly due to the shit roget did lol) so. obv feels like crow will win for meta reasons. same w/ whoever serena ends up dueling later, but we'll see!
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anyway. look at them. :)
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moveslikejaggeria · 2 years
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dear tumblr gods,
i um. i did a stupid thing. reading nothing but found family fanfics seems to have this effect on me where i believe in something that doesnt exist (and i’ll let you guess what that is)
i wish i hadnt gone to urgent care. obviously tonught, but last week too. i wish i’d continue going to classes and just let my stupid appendix explode or whatever. all these times i begged god to kill me and he finally did it and i Ruined It.
or maybe i wish i hadnt called my parents. as scared as i am of doctors and how much sitting in the ER scared me, i wish i had done it alone. i wish my stupid parents didnt know that i’d had surgery. i wish…
because goddamn it i had to sit there across from the doctor while he looked me in the eyes after i told him i didn’t feel good and he said “well you just had major surgery” and he was right (this is what we call a fact) but then my mom says “its just two classes and rehearsal”
and i dont know if you know this, im not my mom. i am far far weaker than my mother. my mother who doesnt sleep and works for hours nonstop and doesnt eat but definitely complains but she does it. and i? i cant do it. im too weak
“you didnt tell me you were in pain” oh but i did. you just didnt hear it. you dont respond to certain things and maybe its because youve grown numb to them but i am not a god like you. and so you are numb to me too; my pain. and when i tell you my temperature’s high, you brush it off, and when i tell you i’m hurting, you simply dont respond, and when the doctors tell you “your kid has an eating disorder. and depression and anxiety and [they’re] suicidal” you go “how could this have happened.”
bc when i saw you hurt and get back up and pretend you didnt feel it, i did too. except the cuts ran deep and now im only half the person i used to be. and you look and me when i cry and go “its not that bad” and i think your words are true but theyre not. bc youre god and im not; im weak, and you’re not.
dad’s like me, i know he is. it’s where i get the weakness from (the demi part of a demi god). and i see how he sometimes falls behind you, how his body breaks down and he stumbles. and i think one day you’ll kill us both. and i cant be mad at you (how could man be mad at god for not knowing what it feels like to be human?) but somehow it hurts so much more
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cutebutahandful · 4 months
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in which u r a jellyfish in the shape of a man (spineless)
i told myself i didn't want to spend another year having to pour out the love and anger and hurt from tyler but lately a couple things have been ringing in my head and won't let go so let me write this out to exorcise it
the first is him telling me "we were never going to work out" after the lawyer's office - the rage i felt when he said that was incandescent. it felt like a huge fuck you after all the effort i put in the relationship which had always felt one-sided to me; this statement made that feel even more real. one of our biggest issues was lack of communication and consistency from him - i hated when he ran away and ghosted me in lieu of actually talking shit out and i hated when he wouldnt tell me his real feelings even when it was glaringly obvious he was mad at me. i thought those were rookie r/ship issues that would get better with time bc it was obvious he had legacy r/ship issues he hadn't healed from but i didnt rly care bc it wasn't like i had zero baggage either, i was happy to be there and work it out with him. i also rly hated that he didn't plan for our dates/impt celebrations and it was always me coming up with things 2 do even after i told him multiple times it was important to me. it's actually whack that when i told him that, he said, "yes but i come for every date even though I'm tired from work" and he made me feel so bad about it - i rly dk why I thought that was something acceptable!!!! B said tylr was just emotionally dense and tylr did tell me that he was trying the hardest he'd ever tried so i just thought he didn't kno how 2b a good boyfriend but that it would work out bc at least he said he was trying. anw it clearly didnt work out so i should've gone with my gut and dipped instead of fruitlessly following my heart or believing in the best of him. this also felt like him minimizing what I do/feel again so i guess that's why it was so triggering - the fact that he reduced his infidelity and betrayal of trust to "I should've shown more care to you in ur vulnerable moments" literally what the actual fuck. how do u minimize talking shit abt ur pregnant girlfriend, revealing her secrets to ur friends, making fun of her with rbkh and checking out s*x workers at massage parlors to "i should've shown more care" - is basic empathy out of ur wheelhouse
"we were never going to work out" is such a defeatist statement and it rly hurt bc it felt like everything i did ultimately didn't matter because he had already made up his mind that we weren't going to last. it explains why he betrayed my vulnerabilities and secrets and spoke badly about me behind my back to his friends though - in his mind, i was never end game so what did a little mudslinging matter lmao. i think the words sting also bc the defeatism showed i was not someone he felt was worth fighting for and that obv hurts coming from someone whom you love with all your heart - to know you matter so little when you've invested everything and more into him is more than a little heartbreaking. the anger also comes from all his lies - both in manipulating me and in presenting false/half-true narratives to his friends. i really h8 my naivete in believing him (even when i felt things were off) and i now recognise that that was pure manipulation/gaslighting - him blatantly lying about shit that he did to me and making me believe that i was unsound. he'd get mad at my rxn to the fuckshit he did then ran with that 2 rbkh lmao.
in tandem with "we were never going to work out" was him saying "i've fought for the relationship" which was the biggest lie ever and smth i know he texted jsut so he could screenshot it to his friends to look good. the real truth is the complete opposite bc i rarely felt that he had my back/was in my corner. i felt like an option rather than a priority, and it was compounded by him placing everyone else above my needs/caring what other people had to say about certain issues, but not my viewpoint even when they were issues that affected our relationship. how many times had he ignored me when I was in hospital or needed him to talk to me about whatever issues we were facing lmao. i had to watch him do things he hardly did for me: plan activities for his friends/colleagues, gift them the same things he gave me and show up for them in a way he didn't for me.
i hated him valorising his ""efforts"" in front of other people because they werent true - how are you fighting for our relationship when you bring our issues to other people (and dont even discuss it with me after), how are you fighting for our relationship when you won't plan for a future with me (but discuss how i should finance the mortgage with your friends instead of me), how are you fighting for our relationship when you and rbkh were making fun of your girlfriend when she was preggers lol i also hated that he said buying the condo was his Grand Gesture of Love for me when the truth was the opposite - it was me asking what our future was going to be/look like + when he initially talked about the condo, it was right after we got back tgt aft our first breakup and he meant it for himself (which is valid, and so was me asking what that meant for our future/if there was a place there for me) ((also i found out that the desire for getting his own place was sparked by rbkh getting a place of her own)) (((and his ultimate decision to choose the place was bc it was less than 10 mins away from his ex, the one he'd been texting behind my back throughout our relationship))) i haven't even touched on the massage parlor girls he has on his phone or his propensity to look for leaked discord/OF n00dz or the miscarriage but i dont think im ready to talk about it yet here
i actually have a lot more 2 say but i cried my feelings out already so i think im gucci but the tldr to this is that cowardice is tylr's trademark and no amount of cosplaying as a good person will erase the BS he put me through
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missmeinyourbones · 2 years
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jjk characters x icks!
the ick saga continues but this time its applied to the jjk characters :3 you can read my aot icks here and here :) in conclusion, they are all so so SO embarrassing, your honor 
yuuji
fully says saturdays are for the boys. like genuinely uses it as an excuse. ur like babe i found this really cute ramen place i wanna try, lets go on saturday for lunch :D and hes like im sorry baby but saturdays are for the boys, i have plans w megumi and toge😕 he definitely has a tapestry that says it hanging in his dorm room, when you guys move in together after college he half jokingly suggests hanging it up in the living room, you make him burn it
is an ipad baby. always on his damn ipad. he cant focus on anything without simultaneously playing a game on it. ur watching a tv show together and he is watching it, but hes also playing candy crush. you are in the bathroom getting ready for bed and hes already in bed playing subway surfers. he also never cleans the screen so its so greasy and has crumbs in the crack of the buttons / case 
hes a sneaker head LMFAO he is so annoying about his shoes. has like 100 pairs of sneakers. ones he only wears to work out, ones he wears on special occasions, ones in certain colors, ones from certain athletes. he REFUSES to let you even breathe near them. places them so delicately on the doormat of your apartment and then gets mad when you just kick off ur own shoes and they almost hit his. “BABE DONT CREASE THOSE IVE ONLY WORN THEM 5 TIMES” 
megumi
REFUSES to order at starbucks because he hates the way their sizes are named. you guys go to starbucks together and ur like can u get me a venti iced coffee??? and hes like ok is that a medium or a large. and when you tell him to just say venti he gets irrationally annoyed. “its so stupid that i cant just say large? why would i say venti? grande literally means big in spanish and its equivalent to a small?” idk baby i didnt make the menu <3
he never waits for hot foods to cool down. he just immediately takes a bite and then does that icky thing where his mouth is open and he’s breathing so fucking loud so it cools down in his mouth LMFAO BYE he looks so stupid. and you would think he’d be like a normal person and wait for it to cool down a little before he takes his second bite but hes an idiot!!! and does it again!!!! and repeats until the food is either gone or at room temp!!!!!
makes fun of what you watch but low key watches it with you and likes it??? but hes too stubborn to ever admit it so he has to pretend to make fun of it as you watch it so he can continue to see what happens LMFAO. ur watching a cheesy show like teen wolf and hes like “this show is so stupid and not realistic.” hes all “teenagers don’t even look like that, those are 30 year olds” and “this is so cringey why would they make that a plotline” so ur like OKAYYYYY then leave🙄 and he just pouts but continues to watch it because he needs to know how the season finale plays out 
nobara
this bitch laughs at the most inconvenient times and everyone around her is like😐 shes ordering ur guys food through a drive through and literally cannot get the order out bc shes laughing so hard for no reason???? the person taking the order is not amused thru the box and u get so embarrassed that you have to take over lmfao. she also does this when presenting something in class. shes just laughing and giggling and looking at her friends in the audience. BE SERIOUS BABES PLS
cannot apologize. says “i’m sorry you misunderstood what i meant” or “im sorry that you feel that way” whenever you are mad or upset with her. FOR THE LIFE OF HER cannot put herself in your shoes for the sake of an argument. will go to the grave thinking that she was 100% correct and that you were overreacting or took it too personally 
she says that she is “really good w kids!!!” but in reality gets violently bullied by them LMFAO you guys are babysitting your cousins or something and shes hyping herself up, talking about how great she is with them, how smooth the night is gonna go, and you get there and they just completely humble her. say her haircut is ugly and her clothes are weird and that she smells. she pouts for the rest of the night and ur like baby theyre 6 and shes like “thats how you know its true, they dont have a filter they just speak the truth :///” 
gojo
refuses to ask for help in any capacity. so fucking stubborn about it. imagine him following instructions he found on google for how to fix ur washing machine and getting mad LMFAO like he kicks it and throws the screws around while sighing loudly. ur finally like satoru please lets just call someone, like a professional, whose literal job it is to do stuff like this. hes hurt that you would even suggest that lol
claps when planes land i literally hate him so much LMFAO he thinks hes doing it ironically but it does not come across that way AT ALL. hes whooping and hollering from the window seat as the plane slowly descends and ur hiding ur face in embarrassment next to him. as you guys gets off the plan he personally shakes the pilots hand and is like “thank you so much for your service, for safely landing us, for letting us live another day” and you have to pull him by his ear to get him to stfu 
looks at himself in every reflection he passes. EW i hate him. he physically cant help himself from looking in every single reflective surface he sees. he passes the mirror in your hallway??? checks his hair. walking by a display window in the mall??? smiles at his reflection. he has no shame. its so humiliating to see him from afar checking himself out
getou
tries so fucking hard to be funny in class that it comes off as such a force. this man wants to be the class clown so bad hes shaking in his seat waiting for the right opportunity to say something. hes gotten a few chuckles a handful of times, but most of the time no one laughs and the prof is like ...anyways 
thinks driving his car fast is a flex.... bye LMFAO like purposefully revs his engine thinking its gonna make the girls panties drop. goes 80 in a 45 because he thinks it makes him look cool and dangerous???? living for the bad boy aesthetic but he just looks like a dick lol 
falls asleep right after sex. yes im saying it. he doesnt do it in a mean way, its not like he doesnt care enough to check in on you or talk to you. he is just an exhausted man LMFAO. you roll over to crack a joke or something and hes already out like a light. put his ass to sleep now he calling me nyquil type beat 
nanami
thinks a “natural makeup look” is a full face with no colored lipstick LMFAO like he does not know what makeup looks like. so when he sees a picture of kendall jenner with a full face of natural makeup hes like “i love when women wear no makeup, shes so beautiful bare faced” like she doesnt have full coverage foundation and fake lashes on??? you guys are out getting lunch or something and you have ur usual makeup on but a little lighter (maybe no eyeliner or lipstick) and hes like you look so pretty naturally today :) ENOUGH
going to the gym is his only personality trait. hes the guy that carries around a gallon of water for no reason???? like not a special water bottle, but a genuine plastic poland springs gallon straight outta the supermarket??? just so everyone knows that he works out?? only eats grilled chicken, white rice, and broccoli every single night for dinner. his friends go out to eat and get pizza and hes like “...you know thats bad for you, right?” shut up meathead. 
he has a wallet phone case LOLLLLL like the velcro or magnetic kind thats leather and holds your phone and your money/cards. major dad/grandfather energy. it also has a touchscreen pen attached to it so he “doesnt get his screen dirty.” gets mad when you don’t use the pen. ur in public and hes like can you check my phone to see if gojo texted me and you go to slide it open and hes like “...with the pen”
inumaki
LONG ASS NAILS THAT HE DOES NOT CUT OFTEN ENOUGH. theyre not even dirty or grimey they are just long???? sometimes he bites them off and then they are all jagged and uneven and he accidentally scrapes you when he’s rubbing your back or scratching ur head :/ refuses to let you actually file them or cut them with clippers because its “too high maintenance” or “why would you when i could just do it with my teeth?” barbaric
also puts his cold ass feet on ur shins when ur going to bed. i can feel myself gagging while writing this. ur in bed and its all warm and snuggly and just as ur about to drift off to sleep he puts his COLD ASS DOGS ON UR CALVES???? like fully pressed up against ur legs. he’s happy bc ur warming him up but you feel like you have two nasty ice cubes tangled between ur legs now 
still plays among us and makes imposter jokes :/ *crowd boos* but he doesnt even do it in a funny ironic way he does it in a hes deadly serious way. like finds a picture of a dog looking guilty and sends it to you being like “when the imposter is sus XD” he is so embarrassing goodnight 
maki
the type to try waaaaayyyyyy too hard in gym class. like yells at you in dodgeball if you are not breaking a sweat or giving it ur all (maki baby i’m just trying to pass the class) her face is red and she’s sweating bullets and when you are on her team and get out she's genuinely livid. as if winning a gym class dodgeball game means anything????? 
she is so stingy when it comes to certain things. like the heat in your apartment. shes a dad w the thermostat. you are freezing and the thermostat says 60 and ur like babe its winter lets turn the heat on and shes like “no, we dont need to pay for the heat, put a sweater on” or you guys go out to eat and she’s letting you get whatever you want but then when it comes to her shes like “just water and the free bread is fine” BABY WHAT??? 
doesnt wash her face. her skin is really nice and you are jealous. but DOESNT WASH HER FACE??? you guys are getting ready for bed and you have all of your skincare out and shes like wtf is all of this and you explain the differences between toner and moisturizer and all that fun stuff and then she hits you with “huh, i just use water” WDYM U JUST USE WATER  
yuuta
never knows which way a door opens LMFAOOOOO PLEASE like its either push or pull. he has a 50% chance each time, but he somehow always gets it wrong. imagine him walking into a store and he goes to pull the door and stumbles back a little bit because its a push to open BYE
makes pic collages of you guys and posts them on ig :/ like do you remember in middle school when it was cool to make a flipagram for ur friends birthday? yeah🙂 he does that put for like every simple activity you guys do. hes like heres a flipagram of me and y/n when we went to the aquarium the other day <3 and its just awkward pics of you two w bad lighting lol. or he loves a good pic collage like the ones where you just make a grid of photos? he is an 11 year old little girl in 5th grade who just got an ipod touch 
yells stupid shit when he jumps into the pool LMFAOOOO like the most corny things. hes doing a cannonball and he genuinely says “GERONIMO!!!!” LIKE WTF IS WRONG W HIM???? also says “look out down below” or “incoming” then bellyflops right next to you when you were just trying to relax on a raft :/
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reidsnose · 3 years
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horror film
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overview: reader and spencer watch a scary movie and spook themselves into cuddling
genre: fluff/angst?(yall are scared bc of the movie)/kind of humor
warnings: light swearing, mentions of idk like spooky ghost stuff
a/n: i definitely have been watching far too many horror movies for my own good but i dont have a spencer reid to cuddle up with lmao anyway i hope you guys enjoy it !!! please please let me know what you thing :)
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Spencer didn't understand. after all you guys see throughout the day, you want to come home and watch a horror movie. your whole lives were like one big horror movie.
but, regardless, he would walk to the ends of the earth for you (though he did not plan on telling you that), so watching a scary movie with you wouldn't be so bad. in fact, anything would be good with you. he would happily get a root canal if it meant spending more time with you.
he tried to convince himself: a scary movie is like halloween! and he loves halloween. reading about it. learning about it. but getting his adrenaline pumping via jump scare? hmmm..maybe not.
he didn't watch many horror films when he was a kid. his mom didn't do very well with them. and he liked his foreign films better. but watching the light in your eyes twinkle when you asked him to come over to watch together because you were scared to watch alone? how could he say no?
and you were beyond excited to have him over. even though you guys had already hung out outside of work before, you almost never got to pick the movies. truth be told that was because you went along with almost anything he said so you could get closer. and you planned on watching the movie at a friendly distance.
keyword: planned.
but it was now halfway through the movie and you were both cuddled up together in the corner of the couch. and from the beginning of the movie, anytime something remotely creepy happened, Spencer would lean over and whisper what a reasonable explanation could be. or tell you how statistically improbable the events of a certain scene was. and so you two drew closer and closer. and he convinced himself he was telling you the statistics and facts to make sure you dont get too scared; but really it was himself he was trying to calm down.
the movie was what it said it was; scary. but you had watched your fair share of horror movies, and though a couple of the jump scares got you, you were getting a little disinterested and distracted.
every time he leaned over (rather, now he was leaning down) and whispered something to you, you had to fight the urge to kiss him. not to mention. you were snuggled up to you're best friend who you were secretly crushing on and he was pulling you impossibly closer with every creepy scene that flashed on screen. and you were more exhausted than you knew. and Spencer was just so damn comfortable its like the guys arms were made to dream in!
so you started dozing off.
not Spencer.
he couldn't tell if his heart was beating from using you as his own personal teddy bear, or from the horrifying, ghastly scenes unfolding on screen. he didnt even notice you had fallen asleep until he leaned down, eyes glue to the screen, to whisper how unlikely the existence of ghosts was, and you didn't answer. he looked down and let himself audibly sigh. a smile cracking on his lips at the irony of you falling asleep during a horror movie.
one last jump scare had woken you up at the very end of the movie. not so much the jump scare, but the jerk of Spencer's entire body and the slight yelp he let out. and you found yourself feeling sad that Spencer was going to go home.
you told him he could stay if he was scared, to which he replied he was completely not scared (though his lie was very obvious). and having not watched most of the movie, you were able to fall back asleep in no time.
that was not the case for Spencer.
he was incredibly paranoid as he walked up the stairs, afraid an evil spirit would be waiting to scare him in his apartment. and when he lied down to sleep, every shadow that appeared in his room seemed to resemble a ghost. he tossed and turned petrified for about an hour before deciding he couldn't stay alone in his apartment.
so he found himself driving back to your apartment at about midnight to ask if he could sleep in the guest bedroom.
when he arrived at your door you let out a chuckle at his request, giving him a sort of "told you so" talking to as you made arrangements in the guest room so he'd be comfortable. and boy did this make him feel better. he was still very scared, but it wasn't nearly as bad because he knew you were just a room away. he opted to get a glass of water to try and calm down.
you, however, had just now started to be scared as images replayed in your head of things that go bump in the night. you tossed and turned trying not to look at the shadowy corners of your room, but you just couldn't fall back asleep. so you decided to make your way to the kitchen for some water, keeping your head down to avoid spooking yourself via the various oddly shaped nicknacks in your home.
Spencer stiffened as he felt a presence in the room, and he turned to see the shadowy figure of a woman, hobbling towards him, head trained on the floor. he couldn't scream, he couldn't run, he couldn't do anything but stare terrified at the figure.
you looked up as you neared the kitchen, letting out a blood curdling scream when you saw a tall shadow man standing in your kitchen.
Spencer could scream now that the figure began screaming. he let out a high pitched yelp as he stumbled along the wall looking for the light switch. he felt the need to protect you from the ghost, so in a fit of deranged manliness he let out a string of words that in or out of context is completely laughable.
"fuck off you spooky bitch!" the shadow man yelled, finally finding the light switch.
when the light flicked on the confusion and horror stopped. and instead you and Spencer stood equally spooked, in your fight or flight response.
"Spencer?" you croaked, lowering a raised fist. you planned on fighting a ghost?
"y/n?" he asked back equally confused.
"i was getting water what are you doing?" you asked, laughing slightly as you realized what he had yelled out.
"i was too," he chuckled, remembering what he had called out, "sorry for telling you to fuck off and calling you a spooky bitch."
"its ok, sorry for being 100% ready to punch you in the neck."
you two stood in a silence that wasn't exactly comfortable but not awkward either as you got a glass and filled it with water.
"hey do-" he began.
"could i-" you started at the same time.
"you go first," he chuckled, taking a sip of his water.
"i wont be mad if you say no, but could i sleep in the guest bed with you? my room has way too many spooky corners." you asked shyly.
"i was just about to ask that," he smiled.
you let out a relieved sigh before gulping down your water and heading to sleep in the guest room.
you two lied weirdly far at first but after mentioning how the coat hanger looked like a man with horns you two both reached for each other. falling asleep wrapped tightly in each others arms. hearts beating together quickly; but not because of fear.
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hwangsies · 4 years
Text
LIMERENCE
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(n) the state of becoming infatuated with another person
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pairing: hyunjin x female reader
summary: you haven’t spoken a word to hyunjin since he ghosted you after a fun new years eve together, so what’s the worst that could happen when fate (or chaeryong,...well, same thing) pairs you up for a road trip across the country?
warnings: e2l (ish), university student!au, non idol!au ,a lot of swearing. alcohol consumption,long flashback, mentions of infidelity, hyunjin is a giggly sweetheart, smut as in: dom!hyunjin, unprotected sex (wrap it up luvs),fingering, oral (f recieving), slight choking, praise kink, hand & strenght kink (manhandleing oopsie), slight overstimulation, hyunjin is really enthusiastic about consent (as you should be, periodt), reader is nervous and scared of hyunjins big pickle (ew i hate myself), motel sex (but it’s not trashy i promise!)
8.6 k words ,meaning grab a snack and a drink,
and enjoy!<3
---
"alright everyone" your professor rubs his hands together "that was it for today... i hope you all have a great break and i'm very exited to see all of you again next semester. hopefully in person again" he chuckles.
You and your classmates exchange goodbyes with him before one after the other exits the zoom call.
"fuck" you sigh after closing your laptop and lean back on your bed.
"you did it girl" your dormmate chaeryong claps, at which you giggle before shifting your eyes to her on the other side of the room.
She's sitting on her bed, folding her clothes before putting it in her suitcase thats placed in front of her.
"finally" you sit up and watch her roll up a pair of socks.
"my last class was yesterday and mrs kim teared up" she giggles "it was kinda cute not gonna lie"
"oh god" you snicker.
"hey did you find someone to take to yongin?" you ask, remebering chearyong talking about wanting to find someone to share gas expenses with in exchange for a ride to her hometown.
"oh yea, i did" she turn to you "i think you know him, seo changbin?"
You furrow your brows in thought, you feel like you've heard of the name.
"he's a music major, one year above us, hes also from yongin" she continues folding a pair of jeans "funny you'd ask actually cause he told me one of his friends was looking for a ride to seoul, isn't that where you're going?"
"Yea i was thinking about finding someone honestly because gas is really fucking expensive if you aint rich" you say, placing your laptop onto your nightstand.
"Mm you aint gotta tell me girl" chaeryong mumbles, folding a sweatshirt.
"so who's that friend?" you ask, stretching out on your bed.
"he's in his grade, hyunjin"
Your neck almost cracks from how fats you whip your head “hwang hyunjin?”
"Oh yea" she points at you "you know him?"
"unfortunately" you huff.
"o-oh, what"s the tea?" your roommate wiggles her brows at which you shake your head.
"nothing much really" you sigh, leaning back again "he's just like the most arrogant and stuck up fuckboy ever"
"wow, well thats not nothing" chaeryong laughs "any reason as to why you think that?"
"you could probably ask any girl on campus and she'll tell you the same" you scoff.
"really girl?" chaeryong squints an eye at you playfully "cause i've only heard of him being hot but never of him being a hoe. And you know i'm the first to know the hot gossip" she winks.
Laughing defeatedly, running your hand through your hair.
"it's just- we hit it off at the campus' new years eve party, like really hit it off- at least thats what i thought"
"oooh spill it spill it" chaeryong leaps over to your bed to sit at the end of it.
"well there's really not much to spill, i gave him my number and he was talking all that smack about taking me out and stuff aaand to make a long story short i never heard from him again"
"well" chaeryong speaks slowly, biting her lip guiltily "i dont think you'll be very happy about me giving changbin your number for him, then?"
"you did what???" your eyes almost pop out of your head.
"sooorryy" she jumps up from your bed, clutching her hands apologetically "i didnt know"
"aaaaarghh" you whine, burying your face in your pillow.
"maybe he won't even text you though" chaeryong tries to console you, but the damage is already done...
-
unknown number - hey i got this number from changbin, i heard you're driving up to seoul, i'd love to tag along if you're looking for someone to share expenses with -recieved at 9:12 am
You huff looking at the message on your phone.
After chaeryong had left last night you really convinced yourself that he couldn't possibly dare to reach out to you.
But here you are reading his message after just waking up, and your day is already ruined.
you - who is this? - sent at 9:56 am
You know who it is, but you're not going to give him the satisfaction of thinking that you do.
Scoffing when he answers almost immediately.
unknown number - this is hyunjin, did i reach the right person? - recieved at 9:57 am
You have two choices at this point.
1. be petty and bitter about a boy who probably doesn't even remember you.
Or 2. move on and help someone who is also just trying to get home and also maybe get some closure.
So you curse your mother for rasing you so well and suck it up.
you - yea sure, i planned on leaving tomorrow at around 6 pm - sent at 10:02 am
Damn you and your common human decency.
he sus - oh okay great :) i only have one suitcase and a backpack btw so i wont take up alot of space or anything - recieved at 10:05 am
he sus - also i feel weird bc i dont know ur name or anything changbin literally just sent me the number and nothing else lol, also 6 sounds good should we meet at the main building then? -sent at 10:06 am
You're quite honestly not shocked that he seems nice over text because he was the same when you met on new years eve.
you - sure lets meet at the main building, my car is white and my name is y/n - sent at 10:09 am
Cringing as you press the send button because you are 99% certain he won't answer anymore; not that you'd care, obviously.
he sus - alright y/n see you tomorrow at 6 then :) - recieved at 10:14 am
You raise your brows when your phone lights up with his message, does he really not remember you?
Was he that drunk?
Well, it doesnt matter because you don't want to pay for all this gas alone and he seems to be the next best option to fix that.
So you shrug it off and get out off bed to run some last errands and start packing.
-
Your heart is beating unreasonably fast when you take a turn towards the main building at 5:55 pm the next day.
Calm down y/n it’ll just be 5 hours and who says you have to talk to him?
However you do know deep in your heart that you only wanted to arrive just a little early so you could complain about him being late.
That plan got cut short because your eyes fall on him as you pull up to the main building.
He’s- oh my god he’s blonde. You stop your car and he looks up at you.
“it is you!” hyunjin smiles at you when you step out of the car.
“who else would it be?” you ask, a little irritated at his reaction.
His face drops a bit when he sees you clearly annoyed by him, but the doesn’t blame you; he’d be mad too.
You open your trunk for him to put his weirdly small suitcase into, looking him up and down as he lifts it inside.
He’s wearing dark baggy pants and a windbreaker jacket, the top part of his chin-length blonde hair is pulled back into a messy ponytail.
He seemed to have bulked up as well, shoulders looking broader than what you remember.
The hair is different than the jet black hair that you remember on him, but it suits him very well; to be honest he would look good in any hair colour, not that you’d care though.
The first thirty minutes of the ride go by agonizingly slow and in complete silence.
When you drive onto the freeway you can’t take it anymore and mumble something among the lines of ‘wanna listen to some music?’.
You don’t wait for an answer, pressing the radio button right as you finish your sentence.
“uh, actually” hyunjin starts, his hand lifting to turn the radio back off, your eyes snap towards him, is he serious? Turning off your radio in your car?
“I wanted to address this situation” he says rather quietly.
You scoff “what? You realized that this is awkward just now?”
“no- I mean- yes I understand why you would think that but I just really want a chance to explain myself” he stutters.
“explain yourself” you repeat after him before mumbling “sure because there’s so much to explain”
“listen, I know you think I’m an asshole who just ghosted you b-“
“listen, I can handle rejection, you could’ve just said that you weren’t looking for something serious and I would’ve accepted that. The thing I’m mad about though is you literally making false promises and shit” 
Hyunjin blinks at you “can I please just explain to you what happened?”
You let out a long huff “sure” you wave your hand “go ahead”
“when you and your friends left at around 4, you wrote your number on my arm with your eyeliner, correct?” he asks.
Glancing over at him, you nod.
“after you where gone, I was already pretty drunk but then my friends decided to drag me with them to a different party that was still going” you see him fiddling with his hands in your peripheral “well I got super fucking shitfaced at that party and ended up puking on this one guys shoes”
You raise your eyebrows and hold back a laugh, which he notices.
“its okay you can laugh” he chuckles as well.
“anyways that guy was not very happy about it and busted my lip before kicking me and my friends out, so then back in the dorm my roommate sat me in the shower because I was full of alcohol, blood and puke”
“ew” you chime in.
“and when I woke up the next morning your number was gone” hyunjin looks over at you “we don’t have any mutual friends, I didn’t know what your major is so I couldn’t even asks for you in the administrating office, and then the covid lockdown happened and here we are”
“you called the administrating office?” you look over at him, he nods a little smile on his stupid pretty lips.
“yep, so, sorry to tell you but your eyeliner is not waterproof” he jokes at which you playfully knit your brows at him.
“believe me, I wanted to text you. I really wanted to take you out; and when you sent me your name yesterday I didn’t know if this was a lucky coincidence or if you’re a different y/n, that’s why I didn’t say anything” he explains.
You take a deep breath as you realize you have to apologize for going off on him just now, you believe him but you hate apologizing.
“well, I feel like an ass for going off on you like that after hearing all this” you chuckle “I’m sorry” you eye him shortly before looking back on the road.
“it���s okay, you don’t have to apologize I get how it looked, very much sus” he laughs with you.
-
Coming back to your car after you took a bathroom break on a highway rest-stop, you see hyunjin sitting in the drivers seat.
“what do you think you’re doing?” you smile as you sit down on the passenger seat.
“I thought maybe you’d like to sleep since its dark already and you’ve been driving for almost 3 hours” he suggests while putting on his seatbelt.
“well, I wont say no to that” you shrug and put your seatbelt on as well.
“so when did you go blonde?” you ask curiously.
“uh- around end of june” hyunjin chuckles “it was a dare if I’m being honest but I ended up liking it and got it redone”
“oh okay” you check out his profile once more and follow his hair with your eyes “I like it”
“yea?”
“yea, which is weird cause I’m usually not into blondes at all” you wonder.
“hm” he grins “must be me then” he says before winking at you.
“pfff, in your dreams” you rebuttal playfully, at which he laughs and mumbles a ‘true’.
You don’t react to it because you think your ears are playing tricks on you.
“hey I have a question too” hyunjin says.
“what’s up” you lean your arm against the window as you look over at him.
His face is slightly lit by the lights of the other cars, no seriously, how can a side profile be so perfect?
“why did you even agree to take me with you if you thought I ghosted you?” he grins.
You laugh “well, I’m a nice person and I know not a lot of people there are from seoul and my mom raised me right, okay?”
“okay okay” he giggles, the way his eyes crinkle when he does makes you smile everytime.
“or…did you have such a good time with me on new years that you just had to jump on this opportunity?” he quips, carefully stealing a peek at you.
“sure, why do you think I was so upset when you didn’t text” you feign sadness.
The both of you laugh before falling into comfortable silence.
When looking outside your window, you think back to said new years eve.
-(flashback)
“oh my god” you said, stepping into the big hall that usually is the universities gym. But whoever planned this outdid themselves.
A dj was placed on one of the tribunes and a whole buffet of drinks and punches on the other, as well as a big disco ball hanging from the ceiling, making the room shimmery and shiny.
You could see people coming out of the doors that connected into the universities hall on one side and into the locker rooms on the others, as if it wasn’t already packed.
“this is fucking insane” lia, your roommate from last semester, squeaked while grabbing your arm and jumping a little, her voice overpowering the blasting music..
“I wanna get fucking hammered tonight” you turned to her.
“oh babe don’t worry,  we didn’t come here to drink soda” she laughed before spotting some of your other friends.
About five minutes before midnight you and some more girls gathered at the buffet of drinks and started doing shots.
You all had decided that instead of kissing someone at 12 o’clock you’d ring in 2020 with a shot, because alcohol can’t cheat on you.
You were laughing at something when some people started the countdown.
10!
9!
8!
7!
6!
5!
4!
3!
2!
1!
“HAPPY NEW YEAR”
Every one shouted and celebrated in union as you downed your shot.
“happy new year babe” lia hugged you after downing hers.
“happy new year!” you shouted into her ear, full of relief that this stressful year was over.
“lets do another one” she grinned widely after your whole friend group had shared their wishes with each other.
A girl you didn’t know very well handed you another shot, just as you emptied your glass you heard a guy yell something before stumbling into your back.
“jesus” you stumbled forward a bit before turning around, ready to throw someone a dirty look.
“I’m so sorry, are you okay?” in front of you suddenly stood a tall dark haired young man with almost too perfect facial features, frowning a little out of concern.
“nothing happened” you smiled, taking a step towards him so he’d hear you better.
“I’m glad” he replied, a grin slowly stretched across his handsome face
“I’m y/n” you giggled as you held out your hand.
His eyes crinkled with his smile as he took your hand in his “I’m hyunjin” he said before pressing a kiss to the back of your hand.
“okay guys let her have her fun lets go over there” you hear lia usher your friends away from behind you.
“happy new year y/n” he said before instinctively pulling you a little closer to him when a group of people passed behind you.
“happy new year hyunjin” you replied, a slow blush creeping on your face from how intensely he was taking in your appearance.
“well yea happy fucking new years to me for running into you” he joked before taking a sip, your brain wasn’t able to function anymore so you just giggled and nervously pushed your hair behind your ear.
It had been way too long since you’d talked to a guy, especially someone as attractive as him
“you’re fucking stunning” hyunjin complimented you and lifted your hand with his to make you spin for him, to which you complied because you took a long time getting ready and always appreciate being appreciated.
“thank you” you were crimson red by now but hoped he wouldn’t see because of the dimmed lights.
“how come I’ve never seen you around? I would’ve remembered you” he tilted his head.
“oh this was my first year here and I live on the other side of campus so…” you nodded slowly “but yea I would’ve remembered you too”
He grinned before downing his drink and putting on the table next to the both of you.
“wanna dance?”
That’s how you found yourself on the dance floor with hyunjin pressed against your back.
Slowly but surely the alcohol made you braver; and it didn’t take long for the dj to play perfect songs to grind yourself against his toned body to.
His reaction was instant, hands gripping even harder at your waist and his own movements matching your own.
You looked back at him just to have the air knocked out of your lungs, a barely there sheen of sweat was covering his forehead; his pupils were dilated and his lips were slightly parted before his tongue swiftly swept over his lower lip.
He looked like sex on legs and moved like it too.
His plump lips formed into a grin when he noticed you staring, you didn’t know if it was the alcohol running through your system but you so desperately wanted to kiss him.
“can’t stop looking at you either, pretty” he lowered his head to mumble against your cheek before pressing a kiss there.
“you’re so goddamn sexy” you blurted out as you turned around to face him, running one of your hands through his dark hair before positioning them on his firm chest.
He threw back his head as his chest vibrated with laughter.
“don’t laugh at me” you laughed as you locked eyes again.
“you’re cute when you’re drunk” hyunjin brought one hand to your face to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.
“you dont even know me sober” you giggle “also i’m not drunk!” you protested playfully, his hands found your waist in the meantime to pull you flush to his body; at which you gasped almost inaudibly.
“oh really?” he looked down at you, clearly amused “didn’t you drink like 5 shots half an hour ago?”
“well well well, I didn’t know I had an audience” you countered, looping your arms around his neck.
Hyunjin prodded at the inside of his cheek with his tongue before looking away for a swift second, slightly embarrassed because he just exposed himself.
You felt yourself gush a little when he licked his lips again after bringing his gaze back to you.
“so you almost knocked me over on purpose?” you grinned even bigger when he shook his head laughingly.
“listen” he chuckled, leaning down unnecessarily close because you could hear him perfectly fine but you weren’t going to complain.
“I actually didn’t run into you on purpose, that was my friends doing after he saw me notice you” he said.
You mouthed an ‘ahh’ while nodding, feigning disbelief.
“I’m serious” hyunjin laughed “I still have to thank him later; I would’ve probably chickened out”
He got quieter at the end of his sentence, his eyes jumping to your lips when you wet your lower lip with your tongue quickly.
“i-m glad he pushed you then” you replied, trying to hide the fact that your heart was pumping your blood in record time.
“yea” he inched his face closer to yours as you tilted your chin up to meet him in the middle “me too”
His eyes switched from your lips to your eyes one more time before closing the gap between the both of you.
His lips were firm but soft at the same time in the way they moulded against yours, you swore you could hear lia squealing from somewhere but maybe you were just hearing things.
But when his tongue touched yours in the most tentative way you lost contact to what was going on around you, slinging your arms tighter around his neck and deepening the kiss.
A tiny groan escaped hyunjins throat when you carded your fingers through his hair to tug on it and release some of the adrenalin that rushed through you.
He was slow and explorative and let you take control from time to time before sucking on your lower lip and making you loose it.
You didn’t know how many songs had passed; to be honest you didn’t even remember what song was playing when you started kissing.
All you knew in that moment was hyunjins lightly flushed cheeks, swollen lips and dark glistening eyes.
“let’s go somewhere else?” he questioned in a whisper when you bit your lip, nodding at his question.
He grabbed your hand in his before manoeuvring the both of you through the dancing and celebrating crowd.
Before you knew it, hyunjin pulled you into the entrance hall of the university where multiple people had the same idea as you.
Couples scattered across the big room, some just talking, most of them however making out heavily.
“come on” he softly tugged at your hand, smiling when your gaze falls on him.
He lead you up the big flight of stairs onto a floor of the building you’ve never been to, stopping in front of a random room before pulling a small set of keys out of his back pocket.
After unlocking the door, he opened it to let you step inside.
It was a dance studio, the wall right across from you was just one huge mirror through which you could see the big couch in the back of the room and the water dispensers next to it.
“why do you have the keys for this room?” you asked, giggling.
Hyunjin grinned as he closed the door “I’m a dance major, we all have keys for the practice rooms”
“that’s so cool” you beamed “I wish I could dance” you looked around the room, walking towards the mirrored wall a little bit.
“you were moving just fine earlier” hyunjin came up behind you, nimble hands finding your waist as he looked you up and down through the mirror intensely, now that you were under the bright lights of the room.
You couldn’t help but to smile a little at that, the tight little glitter dress that you had chosen really did accentuate your curves in the best way possible, paired with the cute black heels which made your legs look way longer than they actually are.
“but that was like club sexy dancing, you know?” you elaborated.
“hm” he hummed amusedly “whats wrong with sexy club dancing?” you turned around to him.
He didn’t look to shabby himself, all in black, a chic button up with some jeans and a belt; accessorized with rings on his pretty fingers, a  dainty silver necklace and some small earrings.
Some might say he was underdressed, but the way he carried himself with such confidence, and that face of his must for sure be a panty dropper, you thought.
“nothing but… I don’t know, teach me something” you pleaded.
“what do you want me to teach you?” he laughed.
“I don’t know a pirouette or something” you suggested, laughing as well.
“okay” he grinned “this is like the base stance” he positioned himself correctly before looking at you to see if you were following his instructions.
“mhm” you hummed, replicating what he was doing.
“and then you get momentum with one leg to be able to swing yourself around, like this” hyunjin explained before executing a perfect pirouette and ending it back in the base stance.
“that was fast” you chuckled.
“your turn” he grins before moving behind you “try to keep your eyes on yourself in the mirror otherwise you’ll loose balance”
“okay” you said unsurely.
“I’ll catch you if you fall” he winked at you, at which you scoff playfully before carefully swinging yourself into a pirouette.
You landed on wobbly legs but before you could tip over hyunjin stabilized you with a firm grip on your hips.
“you’re a natural” he grinned at you through the mirror.
“well thank you” you playfully feigned cockiness before he spun you around himself.
A few seconds pass of the both of you taking in each others features in silence, the only thing you could hear was the faint music of the party downstairs, before hyunjin spoke up.
“can I kiss you?”
You fell into giggles again as you let your forehead rest against his collarbone before looking up again “we’ve kissed before”
“yea but that was like a moment and I don’t want to catch you off guard or anything” he mumbles cutely.
“mm” you nod “ you can kiss me”
And with a smile, he does.
You weren’t surprised when his first gentle ministrations turned into more desperate ones rather quickly because you could feel the warmth spread in your lower regions as well.
He walked the both of you over to the couch, only parting from your lips when he sat down on the black leather material of the couch.
“come here, pretty girl” he took your hand to help you straddle him, your dress riding up but you couldn’t care less if he saw your safety shorts, and he didn’t seem to care either by the way he feverishly connected your lips again.
His hands travelled down to squeeze at your waist before smoothing over your ass and grabbing a handful of each cheek, you moaned into the kiss when you realized how big his hands were.
Your own hands were squeezing at his shoulders before one moved into his soft hair while the other softly rested on his cheek.
The kiss was messy and desperate, teeth clinking together and tongues licking at each other.
The things that riled you up the most however were his groans and praises.
“you’re so fucking sexy” he groaned before moving down to kiss at your jaw and down your neck.
A needy whimper escaped from your throat when he started suckling the sensitive skin at the base of your throat.
“fuck-hyunjin” you moaned when his teeth grazed over your clavicle.
Your hands fumbled before landing on his belt, at which he pulled away from your skin, gently taking your hands off of his belt.
“I’d love to take you out first, actually” his pretty kiss swollen lips twitched up into a shy smile as he pants.
“oh” you were taken aback, you were almost certain that this was something regular for him “I thought-“
“I mean if you just want to fuck we can fuck of course” he chuckled “but- I actually think you’re really cute and fun and I’d love to get to know you better”
Your mouth stood a little agape “uh- I mean-I” you stuttered, your brain not functioning properly because of the alcohol running through your veins but also him!
“its okay if you just want, you know-“
“no!” you blurted out all over sudden, making him flinch a little “sorry, uhm- its just been a while since I had a date” you smile apologetically.
His expression visibly brightens “that’s okay” he giggled “so is that a yes?”
You grinned, leaning in to just barely brush your lips with his, his head twitching upwards in an attempt to connect them fully.
“yes” you whispered, at which he smiled brightly before pulling your in for a kiss by your neck.
-(flashback end)
“y/n”
“hey, y/n” you grumble when you feel someone gently rocking your shulder.
“mmm-what?” you peek your eyes open just to see hyunjin smile at you.
“good morning sunshine” he teases as you sit up in your seat when you realize you aren’t driving anymore.
“just kidding its not morning” he says as you look around your car, realizing your on a parking lot.
“where the fuck are we?” you whip your head towards him “did you bring me here to kill me? kidnap me?”
“wha?- no” he laughs “no, I’m sorry. Right after you fell asleep there was this huge traffic jam because of an accident and we stood there for almost 3 hours so I drove off and found this” he points out the rear window, where you see a small motel building.
You look back at him before checking the time on your phone, seeing it was indeed almost midnight.
“fuck” you swear to yourself.
“I didn’t know if you wanted to keep driving because I was getting tired so I thought maybe-“ hyunjin starts rambling guiltily, not wanting you to thing that this was an attempt to get in your pants.
“hey” you put your hand on his shoulder after taking off your seatbelt “this is good, you made the right decision I think we both could use some sleep” you say.
You each take your suitcases and walk inside, it’s an old building but it looks pretty clean for a motel off of the highway.
“good evening you two” an old lady sits behind the, probably just as old, reception.
“good evening, could we get 2 single rooms, please” hyunjin speaks up politely.
“I’m afraid we only have 2 double bed rooms available, if you’d like to take them, they will however be more expensive than the rooms for one” she explains politely.
“its okay, we’ll take one of those, please” you decide, hyunjins head snapping towards you.
“is that okay?” you ask him.
“yea- sure” he nods.
“alright, room 301 it is” she hands you the key before stating that you’ll have to checkout before 12 pm and what the room costs.
“do you accept card?” hyunjin asks at which the friendly old lady nods before taking his card and swiping it through her little machine.
“I’ll venmo you half of what you paid” you say after unlocking room 301.
He tsk’s at you before shaking his head “don’t, it was my idea so I’ll pay”
“are you sure?” you ask closing the door behind you when he turns on the lights.
“yup-oh” he exclaims.
“this room is cute” you say, it’s small but the walls are a soft sunflower yellow, decorated with paintings of autumn leaves .
The bed looks clean, and when you smell the mouse gray blankets and pillows, they smell fresh as well.
“stop smelling the pillows” hyunjin laughs.
“I’ve never been to a motel, I thought everything would be dirty or ancient” you confess comically.
He chuckles as he comes out of the small bathroom “the bathroom is clean too, don’t worry” he says when you look at him expectantly.
“I’ll sleep on the floor if you want” he offers as you open your suitcase to get out your toothbrush and pj’s.
“it’s fine, hyunjin I’ve slept in the same bed as a male before” you joke.
“well how am I supposed to know that?” he counters, at which you throw your pj shorts at him out of reflex.
When you realize what you had done it was too late, he was already holding them out in front of him before giggling.
“very cute choice” he mocks the small white shorts with red hearts all over it.
“stoop” you whine, trying to fish it out of his hands but he holds them over his head like a kindergartener.
“I remember why I don’t like you” you pout, crossing your arms.
His face drops alongside with his arms “I thought we were past that”
You use his moment of weakness to snatch your shorts out of his hands “gotcha”
-
“see I told you I was gonna take you out” hyunjin beams at you before looking down at the various snacks he took from the motels vending machine, which were laying in between the both of you on the bed.
“and so luxurious too” you joke, crossing your legs.
“only the best for you” he grins when you open a pack of fruit jellies.
“you know, I was thinking about new years” you say “ and I realized that it was your fault!”
Hyunjin throws his head back as he groans playfully “why?”
“if you hadn’t lost your phone when we got back downstairs, I wouldn’t have had to write my number on your arm; or you could’ve just given me your number and I could’ve text you. But you didn’t even know your own number!” you laugh in reminiscence.
“listen” he laughs “I was drunk and you’re hot! I couldn’t think” he defends himself before taking a bite off a chocolate bar.
You blush a little but play it off with a laugh.
“but yes, I admit, it was indeed my fault” he dramatically holds his hand in front of his eyes.
“yeeees!” you exclaim victoriously.
“I’m kidding though” you pat his knee “I forgive you”
“I’m glad” he smiles.
After the both of you are done eating way too many sweets, you find yourself being really comfortable when talking to hyunjin.
He’s funny, doesn’t seem like he’s full of himself and just in general seems like a very kind person.
“I thought you were a fuckboy when me met” you confess, looking at him.
Propped on one elbow looking down at you, while you lay on your side towards him, his face illuminated only by the little lights on each of your nightstands.
“you did?” he asks confusedly.
“yea” you chuckle “you were so confident and…sexy I don’t know” you place your hand over your face in embarrassment.
“oh that was the liquid courage talking, I’m usually pretty shy” he shakes his head smilingly when you peek through your fingers.
“don’t lie” you push his shoulder softly.
“I’m serious!” he laughs.
“you were the first guy to approach me at a party” you pause “like ever”
“no way, you’re lying now” he furrows his brows.
“nope” you shake your head.
“but I was really close to not talking to you as well, I’m sure there were many guys before me that just didn’t have the liquid courage, like I did” he speculates.
“maybe” you say.
“have any exes?” he asks after a few seconds.
“yea, one”
“well how did you meet him?”
“he showed me around on my first day of freshman year, I transferred like in the middle of the first semester so I wasn’t with any other freshmen” you tell him.
“why’d you break up if I may ask?” hyunjin asks carefully.
“oh we were only together for like three weeks, you can’t even call I relationship. He used me to make his hot ex jealous and cheated on me with her” you say “but hey they’re back together at least” you scoff.
“i’m sorry” he mumbles at which you look up at him.
“it’s not your fault” you chuckle.
“well, still no one should feel that way” he says “you know that you were way too good for him right?”
You nod.
“what about you? Have any exes?” you ask back.
He snickers “only one in seoul”
“why didn’t you last?”
“it was a long distance situation, she was super jealous and couldn’t trust me. which I can understand to a certain degree but everytime I went out she wanted me to facetime her and show her what kinds of people were there with me. That was just too much” he explains.
“wow” you chuckle “that doesn’t sound fun either”
Hyunjin shakes his head “nope, but hey we got rid of ‘em, didn’t we?”
“yea” you giggle “plus if I hadn’t broken up with him I would’ve probably never gone to the new years eve party”
“I guess I owe him something then” he grins as you scooch up on the bed.
“can I kiss you?” you ask after a few seconds of silence.
“hm?” hyunjins eyes almost spring out of his head.
“I don’t want to catch you off guard” you grin as you repeat his words from the night you met, sitting up.
He licks his lower lip as a grin stretches over his face as he sits up as well “do your worst”
You get up on your knees to shuffle over to him, when you get close enough hyunjin grabs one of your thighs and lifts it over his legs so you’re straddling him.
Once you sit down on his lap, your eyes lock again and you’re once again baffled as to how someone can be so god damn attractive.
His eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips expectantly, a shaky breath leaving his lips when you lean in.
Your lips connect and it feels like all the pent up energy of liking him since that night finally gets set free, sparks glowing behind your lit and his hands leaving a trail of fire where ever they go.
They squeeze at your thighs and waist, pulling you impossibly close to himself.
A whimper tears from your throat when his tongue licks at yours, he tastes like chocolate and what could only be described as him.
He moans into the kiss when you tug at the blonde locks that weren’t pulled back into the ponytail; before pulling the hair tie out of his hair to free it and finally card your fingers through all of the blonde glory.
Before you realize what’s going on, hyunjin lifts the both of you before dropping you on your back and crawling above you.
The fact that he just lifted the both of you from a sitting position as if you weigh nothing makes you feel all types of hot.
“you’re so hot holy shit” you pant as you push his long hair out of his face.
“ditto” he only grins before attaching his lips to your exposed collarbone and sucking a bruise into the skin.
“take it off” you moan as you tug on the dark blue calvin klein shirt he’s wearing.
His lips release the skin of your collarbone before sitting up to pull the shirt over his head.
If your mouth wasn’t already open from your heavy breathing, you would’ve opened it now because his body is more sculpted and toned than you had expected.
Your hand lifts to smooth over his abs, muscles flexing as he connects your lips again.
His one hand slides from your waist up to cup one of your breasts, gently palming the soft flesh.
“I know I said I wanted to take you out first but-“ he mumbles against your lips.
“you bought me a lovely dinner” you interrupt him, threading your fingers through the hair that’s falling down into his vision.
He grins, dropping a short peck to your lips before his the grin gets wiped off his face “I don’t have a condom with me”
“I’m on the pill” you let him know “I got tested before the lockdown and I haven’t been with anyone since soo…”
“yea, me too, I was tested a few months ago” he nods.
You nod back, biting your lip as you absently play with his hair.
“do you trust me?” hyunjin asks, observing your demeanour.
“yea- yea I do I’m just nervous” you smile awkwardly.
“no” he coos before kissing you “why are you nervous?”
“just haven’t been with anyone for a while” you confess.
Hyunjin nods understandingly “if you don’t want to do this we’ll stop”
“no I really want to” you look into his eyes as confidently as you can.
“okay” he smiles, planting his lips on yours again.
“can i?” his voice gives you goosebumps when he mumbles against the sensitive skin under your ear, his fingers slowy undoing the loose knot of your heart shorts.
“yes” you say when he locks eyes with you.
“I love these shorts” he softly presses a kiss to your knee, trying to calm your nerves a little, before he gently rocks your hips to pull them off of you.
You blush a little out of embarrassment but smile when you lift your hips to help him.
“cute” he whispers when he see’s your panties have a little bow on the front.
He chuckles when you hide your face in embarrassment, pulling you closer to him again by your thighs before you let him kiss you again.
“can I take this off too?” hyunjin whispers, softly pulling at the fabric of the tank top you’re wearing, at which you nod.
You are still wearing a bra when he pulls it off so you take it into your own hands and unclasp your bra.
Your nipples stiffen a little at the sudden exposure to air, as well as to hyunjin’s admiring gaze.
“fuck” he muses when palming your breasts in his big hands, gently pushing them together an running his thumbs over your nipples.
A whimper involuntarily leaves your lips when he wraps his plump lips around one of the perked up nubs and sucks gently.
“so fucking pretty, princess” you feel yourself pathetically clench around nothing at his praise.
You feel one of his hands wander downwards to provide some friction for you, he slots his lips against yours when you tentatively roll your hips against his hand.
Hyunjin feels his cock get even harder when an almost desperate moan tumbles from your lips against his. So he ads a little more pressure and starts circling your clit with two fingers, your sighs of pleasure mixing into the kiss.
“you’re so sensitive baby” he whispers as he parts his lips from yours “can I go down on you?” he grazes his lips over your chest, looking up at you seductively.
You nod as you bite your lip, hyunjin placing a few kisses on your tummy before shortly sitting up to also free you from your soaked panties.
The first stripe he licks up your slit, and how he swirls the tip of his tongue around your clit expertly sends you to heaven.
His hands are gripping your thighs to prevent you from closing your legs, your hands are tangled in his hair and the sheets.
“hyunj-fuck” you cry out when his tongue enters you.
He carefully prods one finger at your entrance “is that okay?” he asks, his voice hoarse and dripping with lust.
“yea” you sigh.
Once you adjust to one finger, he adds a second one, curling them upwards to search for that specific patch inside of you.
“yes-fuck right there” you moan when his fingers press onto the sweetest spot inside of you, tugging at his hair a little harshly. But you feel him moan against you, getting lost in your taste as he sucks your clit in between his soft lips.
Your hips buckle against his mouth as your eyes roll backwards, feeling the warmth of your orgasm approach rapidly.
“fuck fuck yes-hyunjin” you cry out just before he tipped you over the edge with his skillful ministration, your orgasm rushing up your spine and into your head, endorphins spreading everywhere.
A cry of pleasure fills the room as your thighs starts trembling with the aftershocks, clamping around his head when he drives you into overstimulation.
“oh-shit-“ you pant as you softly pushed on his forehead to get him away from your clit, his fingers still inside you, guiding you through your high.
He nibbles on your inner thigh apologetically. You can still hear your heartbeat in your ears after hyunjin removes his fingers from you and sits up, gently holding your legs together to help you calm down.
“fuck” you mewl, a soft smile tugging at his lips.
He’s wanted to do this for so long and there you are, with all of your naked glory in front of him.
While he’s daydreaming about you, you sit up and start fiddling with his sweatpants.
“you want more?” he quips, once he realises what you’re doing, leaning in to kiss you.
“mhm” you humm into the kiss affirmitavely when his hand holds you close to him by your jaw.
With a quick last peck to your lips he simultaneously shimmies the soft black sweats and his boxers off of himself.
You apparently visibly gulp at the sight of his cock because hyunjin smirks cockily “like what you see?” as he crawls above you again, his lips finding yours again and not waiting for an answer.
“I don’t know if you’ll fit” you mumble when he suckles at the soft nook of skin under your ear.
“we can stop here” he offers softly before locking eyes again.
You shake your head as you reach down to fist his length, slowly pumping it and smearing the few drops of precum around.
“no, you’re just really big” you huff with a shy smile on your lips at which hyunjin groans.
“you’re gonna be the death of me, you know?” he mutters against your lips before kissing you deeply, his hand smoothing over the slope of your waist before coming up to gently pinch at one of your nipples.
Eliciting a soft high pitched moan from you, this only spurs him on.
Rolling his tongue against yours desperately and making you taste yourself before sinfully sucking at the wet muscle.
All the while you’re stroking him with your small hand before cupping his balls, as if he didn’t already feel like he’s gonna blow his load way too early.
“please” you whine, guiding his reddened tip towards your entrance.
Hyunjin releases a shaky breath before replacing your hand with his, rutting his hips against yours a few times, coating his length in your wetness.
This already had your toes curling, suppressing a whine as you lock your legs around his waist.
“tell me if it hurts, yea?” he breathes, only pressing inside you after you nod, dropping a kiss to your swollen lips.
“fuck” he swears softly, tucking his face in the crook of your neck when he breaches your tight walls for the first time.
Your fingers tighten in his hair at the back of his neck when a subtle sting flares up inside of you.
“ah-“ your body flinches a little when he presses further inside, hyunjin notices, observing your expression before kissing your cheek and sitting up slowly.
“you’re doing so good, baby” he lifts his thumb to his lips, swiftly kitten-licking the digit before bringing it to where your bodies join.
Gently rolling your clit under his thumb to distract you from the pain.
“you look so perfect like this” his other hand travels over your stomach to gently squeeze at your breasts “all spread out for me”
You whimper, arching your back when hyunjin thrusts into you carefully; the pain slowly subsiding and the ache to be fully filled up by him growing exponentially when his cock rubs against your g spot.
“hyunjin” you moan, gripping onto his hand, which is resting atop your breast.
“yes baby, I’m here” he groans at how tight you feel once he’s balls deep inside of you, abandoning your clit to grab you by the hips for leverage.
His other hand resting on your cheek now, after a few trusts you moan “harder, please”
Hyunjin groans and fulfils your wish, at one particularly harsh thrust, you latch your lips around his pointer and middle finger, sucking at them.
“oh my god-that’s so fucking hot” he grunts through clenched teeth.
His cock dragging along your walls deliciously, filling you up to the brim as you hum around his slender fingers in pleasure.
“you like my hands that much baby?” his jaw is clenched and the grip on your waist is rough , the contrast to how sweet he was just a few minutes earlier had you clench around him furiously.
“fuck-“ he breathes when you nod to the best of your abilities, eyes wide open and holding his gaze.
You only release his fingers from in between your lips in favour for a loud high pitched moan when his other hand finds your clit again, rubbing harsh circles into the bud.
“-gonna cum-huynjin” you dig your nails into his biceps, eyes squeezing shut.
“yea?” he grits through his teeth the fingers that were previously trapped in your mouth now wrapping around your bared throat.
Not squeezing tightly, just resting there as if to show you that you’re his now.
Your thought gets confirmed when he rasps “you’re gonna date me after this, right pretty girl?”
You do look so pretty right now, tits bouncing and skin slapping because of the fast rhythm that he’s snapping his hips into yours, not to mention the subtle sheen of sweat that’s coating the both of you.
A desperate breathy chuckle tumbles from your lips “ yes-yes fuck” you feel your second orgasm creeping up on you.
“cum for me princess, all over my cock” he urges you on, his tip hammering into the sweet spot inside of you repeatedly before you crash into your second high of the night.
Your body convulses in pleasure as you call out his name mixed with profanities, your toes curling so hard you’re not sure if you can ever uncurl them again, and your nails probably leaving painful indents in his skin.
His thumb on your clit slows down until you grab his hand for him to stop, his hand around your neck grabs your free one, holding both of your hands over your head now.
“so good, baby” he mumbles, kissing your lips; mostly just breathing into each other as he rocks you through every wave of your orgasm.
Hyunjin looses himself in you not long after with a guttural moan and his eyes squeezing shut.
You coax him through it when he rests his face against your neck again, running your fingertips through his damp hair and over his broad back, muscles tensing under your gentle touch.
i“don’t fall asleep on me” you whisper sneakily, grinning when he chuckles against your neck, tickling the soft skin there.
He props himself up again to scan over your features, pushing some hair out of your face before kissing you tenderly.
“you okay?” his hand resting at your temple as he gently runs his thumb over your hairline.
“more than” you assure him, cupping his cheeks to pull his lips onto yours again.You think you can never get enough of his lips, anything about him for that matter; not when he makes you feel so cared about and safe.
“so does this mean we’re dating now?” he whispers after he has cleaned you up and tucked the both of you in bed.
“hmh” you nod your head sleepily, positioned on his bare chest.
“so I can spoon you once we fall asleep?” he asks, grin evident in his voice.
“you can spoon me but you can’t wake me up in the middle of the night if you get horny” you mumble jokingly, enjoying his fingers running down your spine as your eyelids get heavier.
“okay” he giggles softly, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head before you whisper your good nights to each other.
And as promised, he doesn’t wake you up in the middle of the night because he’s horny.
It’s you who wakes him, because after 10 months of wasted time, you have a lot of catching up to do.
-
a/n: oml this is my first ever long fic so pls pls pls give me feedback, i had so much fun writing his even though it made me feel even more single but hey :))))
allsooo i waited til after work to publish this and i just saw i hit 500 followers?!?!?! thats crazy to me omg i started this like 2 months ago and so many ppl liked my stuff so much that they decided to follow me?? so i just wanna say thank u thank u thank u for hitting the follow button even though im very unorganized and everything i do is spontaneaous and not thought out well. but hey i guess there is a reason that u followed me so thank u!
(i’d love if u sent me an ask with the first one of my writings that u stumbled across, and how <3 ...only if u want tho no pressure) 
anyways thank u so much for reading if you’ve made it this far! i hope you have a great day/ night! much love
-aj
(this is a work of fiction and does not represent the real actions of stray kids or hwang hyunjin)
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hxneekyuu · 3 years
Text
best friends to lovers headcanons || suna rintarou (f!reader)
request : Hello! I saw ur request open so imma slide in those dms 👀 may I request hcs or texts of bestfriend to lovers trope with Suna Rintarou? F!reader. Thank you so much I love your content ✨💌
warnings : i will now and forever mark miya atsumu as a warning im so sorry 
a/n : before so many people started requesting suna texts and stuff i never really knew how to feel about him, but lately,,,, i get it >_> -- i hope you like it!! i tried out a new hc style bc i was feeling ~inspired~
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you guys were assigned to the same little table block in kindergarten, and the only thing you knew about him was that out of the four of you at the table, he liked nap time the most 
hes never been much of a talker, so you didnt really get to know him
until elementary school, when you got paired up together as seat mates
you felt like you had to try to talk to him but he still wasnt having it
naturally you thought he hated you bc all he would do is sleep and do his work quietly 
to be honest people tried to pick on him for being the odd one out but he really is not someone you can pick on
he cares so little what people think of him that he just never gave in to the boys that tried 
until they also tried to pick on you just by association
and bc you were probably the only one that figured out to leave him alone but not be wary of him 
the boy that sat in front of you liked to turn around during break times and get in the way of you doing your work
until suna kicked his chair right out from under him without even looking at him
you end up developing a weird little dynamic
you barely talk but you become strangely protective of each other
he keeps the boy that sits behind you from pulling on your hair and you nudge him a little when the teachers looking so he doesnt get in trouble for sleeping in class
this continues into middle school
it gets to the point where if he gets assigned to sit with someone else, he looks at you until you gather the courage to ask to be reassigned
doesnt mattter if you sit behind him, he will be turned full 180 during class just to annoy you into doing it
at some point you guys start talking but its sporadic and nobody can figure out how youve gone so many years without exchanging more than 10 words in any given week
at some point near the end of middle school you realize you could be going to different high schools so you become a little more outgoing, trying to spend as much time with him as possible
he eventually shuts you up by telling you hes also going to inarizaki but that just excites you and he just has to get used to you being the talkative one 
the rest of middle school is just you inviting him places after school and spending basically all your time w him
which he would never admit that he really likes
you become a pair without realizing it, until you get to high school and people who dont know you guys start associating you two immediately
you wait for him to get out of practice, even if its mad late, and he walks you to school when you have weekend club meetings and just spends his saturdays sitting at school when he could be at home
but something changes when you meet the miya twins
or more specifically, one of the miya twins
osamu is always nice to you in a polite acquaintance kind of way, but atsumu wants to be friends
good friends
hes always saying hi outside of practice and stopping you in the hall to ask about your after school plans
which almost always involve suna
who doesnt like the fact that someone else is asking for your attention
guys have asked you out before, but youve never been interested, and youve always rejected them politely
so he cant figure out why hes so unnerved when atsumu just straight up asks you out one day when you come to watch them practice 
he doesnt like it
at all
“so are you going to go out with him?” you two are sitting on the floor in your bedroom studying quietly when he asks you about what’s been on his mind for hours now. you look up at him, but he almost stubbornly refuses to look up from one of the many volleyball magazines you started collecting for him a few years ago.
“with who?” his brain stalls for a moment, and he blinks up at you in confusion.
“has more than one guy asked you out recently?” you smile, shaking your head as you go back to your math homework. he knows you’re saying no, but you haven’t actually said it, and that bothers him for some reason. “well?” you give him an incredulous glance, smirking as you put your pencil down and lean against your bed frame, giving him your full attention.
“no, rin. believe it or not, guys tend not to approach me because of a certain someone.” he hesitates before pointing at himself inquisitively, and you can’t help but laugh. how he could possibly not have noticed the way guys avoid you in the halls when suna’s around is almost absurd. he huffs beside you, returning to his magazine.
“that didn’t stop piss head from trying.” you pluck the magazine from his hands, holding it out away from him when he reaches for it.
“you almost sound jealous, rin.” he frowns, and you don’t miss the way he flushes at the implication in your words. you also don’t, however, realizing you’ve also started blushing, but suna has. in a rush of confidence that is completely unlike him in all aspects, he leans forward until his nose is brushing against yours and he can feel your uneven breath on his lips. glancing down at them and wondering if he has it in him to close the distance, he chooses instead to smirk and meet your eyes as he snatches the magazine back out of your grasp and pulls away. settling back into his spot on the floor and flipping the pages until he finds where he left off, he sends you a look that has your heart jumping into your throat.
“maybe i am.”
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