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earthtooz · 8 months

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x : HEART LIKE YOURS :*+ﾟ

in which: rin is drunk and incredibly infatuated with you. so much so, that he wonders what he did to deserve someone like you.

warnings: 1.1k wc fluff, minor angst, rin is a little insecure + fully drunk, he definitely has fallen harder for you btw, gn!reader, isagi cameo, deep metaphors or whatever idk i'm writing this depraved of itoshi rin.

a/n: kaneshiro bring rin to me this instant or i will go wild.

Itoshi Rin is in love. He is so in love that it makes him feel sick and woozy and dazed and he doesn’t know when the world will be able to stop spinning on itself, but somehow, his feet have taken him to your apartment. Excitement rests at the bottom of his stomach at the prospect of seeing you, yet a locked door is the only barricade that prevents him from seeing you, and Rin wonders if it was rational of him to kick it down.

Just to see you, beautiful, enchanting, flawless you. What would you be doing at 1am on a Friday night- or is it Saturday morning?

“Oh, hey guys.” Your voice echoes through his mind, sounding distant yet so close at the same time that it causes him to look up from the floor. Although his vision is hazy and his eyes are a minute away from drooping closed completely, he sees through the thick of it. You are clear and radiant in the centre of his attention, just as you always are.

Before he can spout the words that his lovesick heart longs to express, a voice beside him interrupts, sounding like someone similar to Isagi. Rin thinks he should shut his mouth because how could he care about stupid, lukewarm Isagi when you’re right in front of him, though?

“He’s drunk and asking for you,” Isagi excuses.

“I’m not drunk,” pours from Rin’s mouth instead, grumbled and petulant. He hears a giggle slip from you and instantly, his gaze returns to you, owl-like and unwavering.

“Come on in then, thank you for bringing him here, Isagi,” you say and Rin vaguely feels himself moving into your space. Your scent floods into his senses to give him a rush of euphoria; a sensation that only intensifies when he hears the door click close and feels your hands run through his hair.

He’s on your couch, slumped over your pillows, melting into your touch, and devastatingly in love as the manifestation of all his affections and desires stands in front of him, blissfully unaware of the turbulence in his heart. Do you know? Do you know what you do to him? How you make his heart beat with enough might to light up the city? How he finds himself tripping over his own feet just to make sure that it’s him by your side and not some other lukewarm idiot?

“Rin, wake up,” your voice gently breathes and like sheep, he can’t do anything but obey. “Looks like you had a big night. Are you tired, baby?”

“Yeah,” he mutters, deceivingly apathetic as your hand settles on his cheek. Here, you push him a little to look at you, displaying his flushed face and slightly-flattened hair to you.

“Don’t fall asleep on me just yet, gotta make sure you’re not too intoxicated.”

The athlete persists, “I’m not drunk.” I’m happy, he thinks.

“I’m so sure,” you laugh him and his love off and a part of him lurches with the need to prove it to you. “I’ll get some water, sit tight and I’ll be right back.”

“Don’t leave me behind,” Rin demands, voice sounding out like a whine, much to his chagrin because he very much means it. But you’re laughing and you don’t think that he’s being serious. You’re laughing whilst he’s practically tearing at the seams, unable to hold back the love he feels for you lest it drowns him.

“I’ll be gone for ten seconds top.”

“Ten seconds too long,” retaliates the sulky dark-haired. “I don’t need water, I need you.”

When Rin is drunk, the alcohol fills him with courage to say things that he never could have otherwise. If he could see straight without needing to concentrate on doing so, he would have witnessed the dumbstruck smile on your face, completely and utterly enamoured with the cold and calculating soccer player.

If someone had told you that the Itoshi Rin would be acting like a fool on your couch in the future, you would have laughed in their face and walked off. Yet it seems like you’re the fool now.

“Saying you don’t need water is a bit of an exaggeration. Just let me get you a cup and I’ll be right back.”

Rin’s hand latches on to your wrist, so strong and unrelenting that he doesn’t know why you don’t pull yourself away from him, to put space in between you and something so wretched, but he doesn’t complain as his thumb caresses your bone. “I’ll come with you then.”

“You won’t.”

“I will.”

“You won’t.”

He is stupid enough to stand up, determined and alive, whilst you’re panicked and worried, exclaiming at Rin to sit back down and not be so brash. You manage to placate him when you tell him that you won’t leave and instead, take the spot next to him on the couch, legs pressed together whilst his hand still encompasses yours.

Oh, to be with you til the end of time.

“I take it that you had a good time with the boys tonight?” You ask, making small talk to kill the time. “Seems like you went quite overboard.”

“I’m better now that I’m with you,” he hiccups, blinking slowly as his gaze never falters from you. “Prefer you… over some idiots.”

You laugh, throwing your head back against the cushions and Rin wishes he had a camera to capture this moment and tuck it in the crevices of his heart.

Truthfully, Rin had gone out tonight to soothe the heartache that your love for him made him feel, for what had he done to deserve it? He has you in his life and he finds that the most remarkable feat, above all his trophies, numerous World-Class achievements, and other accomplishments that make him the famous Itoshi Rin. Falling for you was as natural as scoring a goal, but you choosing him was not.

Itoshi Rin is unpleasant. All bite, sneers, and crude language with no softness to mould space for anyone to come into his life- until you. But what is stopping you from finding someone else who could do that too? Not only that, but could do it better than him?

“I love you.”

It’s a soft confession, not at all dramatic or showy as the three words diminish in the atmosphere. The fleetingness causes something restless to settle deep in Rin’s gut, thrashing and wild because the magnitude of his affection for you could never be expressed in merely three words. However, the way your eyes light up will forever be ingrained in his mind as you whisper back a soft ‘I love you, too’, taming the turmoil with overwhelming ease.

Then, the best thing ever happens: you throw your arms around him, warming him inside out with your touch. Naturally, the athlete circles himself around you too and he fears the day that he has to let go, but until that moment comes, his heart rests peacefully with you.

#taking a break from my equally as devastating childe fic to work on rin mwah mwah my baby #itoshi rin x reader #rin x reader #rin itoshi x reader #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #itoshi rin fluff #blue lock fluff #itoshi rin x you #rin x you #rin itoshi x you #blue lock rin #itoshi x reader #blue lock itoshi rin #itoshi rin drabble #itoshi rin #itoshi rin bllk #blue lock

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courfee · 7 days

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“Regulus would be proud of us,” James whispered quietly to no one in particular, still gripping onto the painting like a life raft.

— Tender Curiosities, Baby! @otrtbs

#ive thought about this scene for so long it just took me forever to draw cause once again the anatomy of cars is the bane of my existence #like originally i wanted evan and barty holding hands to be visible to have the contrast of sad lonely james and sad not lonely rosekiller #but alas cars wont allow it #ahb just still has my entire heart you dont get it #i have a none blurry rosekiller and a just james in front of blue with stars version of this but i think ill only put them on insta...#tender curiosities baby #art heist baby #james potter fanart #james potter #jegulus #rosekiller #rosekiller fanart #marauders #marauders fanart #evan rosier #barty crouch jr #jegulus fanart #jegulus fanfiction #fic: ahb #art heist baby!#mine #my art #hp #ahb #(sneaky end notes: i do have to admit i am not too pleased with evan and barty but this was my first time drawing them)#(so i couldnt figure it out quite yet hency why they look a little. less efforty...)#(also the snake ring is the same design that i drew for chapter 34 of ahb in my little chapter illustrations for my typeset)#((nvm i just checked back and i am fully lying here i used a different one for my typeset and now im vaguely upset oops)#(i shouldnt make decisions only half awake im going to think about this for too long now i am sad))#((like suddenly i was like. hold up. i had a different design there didnt i... it was an open ring goddamnit))

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papanowo · 8 months

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yall ever forget which cast youre supposed to be imagining when reading a fanfic

#with academy fics i usually mix it up on purpose however #the amount of times ive gone into a fic with tos on the brain only for them to describe kirks baby blue eyes is. rlly funny #and dont get me STARTED on snw #my art #star trek #star strek tos #jim kirk #james t kirk #leonard mccoy #bones mccoy #mckirk

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shivroy · 7 months

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future shiv

#this is not as old as i wanted to draw her but this is at least plausible #like maybe a couple years into the future fic just not at the very end #idk. this is still an extremely important shiv to me #this is a shiv that could both willingly have hibernian and also fucking despise hibernian even when hes literally a baby #like thats a baby why are you mad at a baby. come on #she is perfect #god i love shiv i love her so so much #look at her Please #Please lookj at shiv please #succession #art #fanart #succession fanart #shiv roy #siobhan roy #the nation #she very much thinks the absurd fashion standards for the megarich which have kind of atrophied into red white and blue bullshit #make her look like “a tired hooker” but she doesnt do her own makeup anyways she has a female servant do it #this is a shiv that hibernian could look at and immediately start trembling #SHIV

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cha-melodius · 5 months

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This Hell of a Season [Complete]

“The first few years, it was a relief to get away from all the stupid family drama,” Alex says, blowing a long sigh. The hand that’s not holding Henry’s slides onto his stomach, a warm, comforting pressure. “Then I started to resent it. It hurt to be stuck out on a mission while everyone celebrated without me.” “And now?” A grin slips onto Alex’s face as he walks two fingers across Henry’s bare chest. “Now I have you.”

(Or, 3 times Alex & Henry spent Christmas on missions and 1 when they didn't; or, A Very Nova Christmas Special

21k, E. Missing scenes and sequels to the CIA/MI6 firstprince fic Nova, Baby. Fully written, updating Mondays and Fridays.)

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

#rwrb #red white and royal blue #firstprince #fic #firstprince fic #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #rwrb fanfic #firstprince fanfic #nova baby #my fic

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onceuponaoneshotfanfic · 19 days

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You Better Cross the Line

I'm Bright Baby Blue, Falling Into You

Chelsea!Roy Kent x Coach's Daughter!Reader

2k words

Warnings: Language, reader has a nickname, lying/sneaking around, adults drink beer, Roy is already down bad, no Ted Lasso characters except for Roy, fluff & flirting

“Yeah, Kent. You could call me sometime.”

Roy nodded, clearly fighting the urge to smile, and squeezed your hand. “You should probably go inside soon,” he sighed as he turned his face towards the sky. “Your dad’ll be looking for you.” As though he couldn’t help it, he looked back at you. “But I’ll call you,” he promised with a firm nod.

You reluctantly left Roy on the pitch, your head swimming with wondering when the footballer would call you and what he would say. Or ask. It was clear you were no longer alone in your attraction, and that this was at least something more than an entertaining flirtation on his end.

The questions still floated in your mind while you watched your father gather his work things. When he wasn’t looking, you quickly scribbled your mobile number on a sticky note and tucked it into Roy’s locker when no one was paying attention.

In the car you were uncharacteristically quiet; normally, you and your dad would spend the drive chatting about training, about the players, about any football news or rumors you’d read while sitting in his office. But today, your thoughts were too full of Roy Kent and his brown eyes and wondering when he’d call to offer anything more than little Mmm hmms and Yeahs to your increasingly perplexed father.

It was the moment you walked through the front door that your mobile and the universe had mercy on you. You all but scrambled up the stairs as you answered it.

“Hello?” Fuck, since when was your voice this damn breathy?

“Hey.”

Your heart and your bedroom door slammed in sync. Roy Kent was calling you.

How were you supposed to breathe, let alone talk, when a gorgeous, funny, talented, famous footballer called you up after holding your hand on the pitch?

Clearly, Roy could tell you were struggling to form words, because he went on speaking. “This is Roy.” As if you wouldn’t know that delicious growl anywhere.

“I know,” you finally managed. You collapsed on your bed. “You called fast,” you teased.

“Didn’t want you to think I’d forgotten,” he replied with a small chuckle. Why the hell did he sound nervous? You were the one living in a fantasy, lying in your room, chatting on the phone with Chelsea’s star player. For him, this was probably just a Thursday night. “I was wondering…” He cleared his throat, a low, gruff sound. “D’you want to come over? We could watch a film, have some pizza.”

You were living in the Matrix. That was it. That had to be it. There was no other explanation to why Roy fucking Kent was asking you out. Well, in. But still. How the fuck was this happening?

“Sure,” you managed, hoping he couldn’t hear how thick your voice felt. “That sounds great.” You sat up and cleared your throat, grimacing at your reflection in the mirror and trying to flatten your suddenly unruly hair. “What time?”

“Whenever.” There was that Roy Kent aloofness, almost as if he was trying to convince you he didn’t care as much as he truly did. “Just… you’re not telling your dad, right?”

There it was. The thing that was going to be perpetually hanging over whatever this thing was going to end up being. Dear Old Dad, Chelsea’s fearless leader, Roy’s boss. He’d never in a million years approve of you seeing Roy Kent. He knew what footballers were like, and he knew what Roy Kent was like. Your dad might have that heart attack he was always joking about if he got even a whiff of this conversation.

Not that you were going to let that stop you.

“Course not,” you hummed. “You’d be buried under Stamford Bridge if the old man ever found out you called.”

His chuckle echoed in your ear. “Appreciate it.”

He quickly gave you directions to his flat, and you agreed to be over in about an hour. When you hung up, you fought the urge to scream into a pillow. You were going to Roy Kent’s place. You’d be watching a movie, hanging out, with Roy Kent. Hell, you might wind up kissing Roy Kent by the end of the night.

You clambered out of bed and rushed to your closet. You’d gone on lots of dates, you reminded yourself. Dates with ridiculously good-looking guys even. Successful dates, you might add. But none with Roy Kent, the little voice in your head pointed out.

After stressing over whether or not you could even call this a date, you finally forced yourself to find a flattering pair of jeans and a light sweater. Comfortable, casual enough for a movie night, but something you knew you looked good in. A quick brush through your hair, a little lip gloss, some trainers on your feet. It was just right for a night in, and hopefully simple enough to not rouse your father’s attention.

“’m taking the car!” you shouted as you practically skipped downstairs.

“Where are you off to?” Your mother’s soft smile was a welcome sight when you were hoping to avoid your dad.

You fiddled with the strap of your purse. “Angela’s,” you blurted out, naming a friend your mother knew well. “Just having a girls’ night.”

She nodded; there was no reason to doubt you, not when your summers were always full of evenings with your friends. “Have fun.” A kiss landed on your forehead. “Be safe, alright?”

Be safe. Her words bounced around in your head as you climbed into your dad’s car, the one you usually borrowed when you were home. Be safe. Was spending time like this, alone in Roy Kent’s flat, being safe? You weren’t an innocent little dove, but you knew his reputation. You knew it well. You giggled over it with your friends, wondering if the things you read in the tabloids were true, rolling your eyes lightheartedly when the girls asked if you’d ever seen anything in the changing room.

Oh, the things they’d say if they knew what you were up to.

The drive to his building was shorter than you expected, shorter than you needed it to be with the nerves you were trying to control. Somehow, they got worse as you strolled into the building and found your way to Roy Kent’s flat. After a shake of your shoulders to try to get rid of the tension they carried, you gave a quick rap to the door.

You waited maybe two beats before you heard the knob turn. Roy Kent filled the doorway in a pair of dark jeans and a black shirt that fit him too perfectly. He smirked at the sight of you, not bothering to hide the way his eyes flickered down your body. He was less the guy on the pitch who quietly asked if he could call you and more the cocky man you’d read about in tabloids; you weren’t sure which you preferred, but you’d take either one in a heartbeat.

“C’mon in,” he hummed as he opened the door wider for you. You followed him inside, pretending you often found yourself in the flats of professional footballers. He nodded to a shelf filled with DVDs. “Pick something,” he said simply. “You want a beer?”

“Sure.” You turned your attention to the movies as you listened to his footsteps recede to what you assumed was his kitchen. He had a decent collection, you observed. A little bit of everything, and even a couple things you’d never heard of. A smile crossed your face when you caught sight of a familiar movie title.

Roy returned with a couple of beers and a box of pizza, his eyebrows raised when he saw the movie you were holding up. “When Harry Met Sally?” he read.

You nodded and accepted the bottle he handed you as well as the pizza box. “That alright? I really like this one.”

“Whatever you want, princess.” He took the case from you and nodded for you to have a seat.

Roy Kent’s couch was comfortable. It didn’t creak when you sat, not like the couches in residence halls tended to do. You put the pizza on his coffee table and opened the box, letting the delicious smell fill the room. After he turned on the television and set up the movie, Roy turned to look at you, something unreadable flickering on his face for a brief moment.

“Grab a slice,” he mumbled as he plopped down next to you. His eyes found yours, searching for a brief moment. “Thanks for coming over.”

There he was. The guy who’d laid next to you on the pitch and gently touched your hand and asked if he could call you. The guy you liked best, you decided.

“Thanks for inviting me,” you murmured, grabbing a piece of pizza before settling back into the couch. For the second time that day, you found yourself far too close to Roy Kent. Even with the whole couch to sit on, he chose to sit close to you, close enough for your arms to brush every time you took a sip of your beer.

The two of you watched the start of the movie in silence, except for a few breathy chuckles here and there when Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan were particularly funny. Thankful that the food had filled your stomach with something besides butterflies, you stole a glance at Roy. He looked comfortable, almost happy as he brought his bottle to his lips. With his eyes still on the screen, he lifted his arm and settled it behind the couch- behind you. His gazed flickered to you for a moment, eyebrows raised playfully, before he slouched into the cushions.

Was this what Roy Kent making a move looked like?

You tried to focus your attention on the movie, you really did. But you could hear his breathing and feel his side pressed against yours and your peripheral vision could see the pink in this cheeks and fuck, why did he have to smell so good?

When he leaned forward to place his beer on the coffee table, his arm wrapped around your shoulders. Oh, shit, you forgot how to breathe. Especially when he kept his arm firmly there once he sat back against the cushions.

Your inability to breathe only got worse when he bowed his head and whispered in your ear, “This alright?”

“Yeah,” you exhaled, feeling bold enough to turn to face him.

From this close, you could count every freckle on his face, memorize the shape of his nose and lips, see the brightness in his eyes. You could practically feel the rise and fall of his chest as he leaned forward, letting his nose brush against yours.

“This alright?”

Your heartbeat pounded in your ear, drowning out the sound of Billy Crystal singing “Surrey with the Fringe on Top” on the telly. The only thing you could think about was the tip of Roy’s nose bumping your burning skin and his lips only centimetres away from your own.

“Yes.”

Far too many nights in your dorm had been spent imagining Roy Kent’s lips on yours. But none of those dreams compared to the real thing. Because those fantasies didn’t tell you how soft his lips were, or how his hand rested on your thigh with a gentle firmness. Or how he tasted like pizza and beer and delight. Or the way his mouth parted so his tongue could gently flick against your lips before he pulled away, looking as breathless as you felt. Or, worst of all, how you knew he’d just ruined every other kiss for you.

He cleared his throat as he leaned back, his eyes roaming your face. “Well?”

“Well, what?” You knew he could see the flush on your face, but you hoped that you could hide it by acting as cool as he usually did.

“Well, are you going to let me kiss you again?” There was that cocky grin, the one you often saw on the pitch, the one that made your entire body go warm. “Or are you going to run and tell The Sun that Roy Kent is a shit kisser?”

Despite the swarm of butterflies fluttering in your chest, you laughed and rolled your eyes. “Sorry, I think I need another demonstration.”

Roy shook his head at you and cupped your face. “If you insist, princess.”

Taglist: @gee72sstuff @book-of-roses @kissykissymouth @emmy2811 @hart-kinsella @klaine-92 @dearvoidgoodnight @misshall14 @issieruby @royal-sunflower @kissmekent @veryprairieberry @itswhateveripromise

#roy kent bright baby blue #Chelsea!Roy #he's here he's there he's every fucking where #roy kent #roy kent x reader #roy kent fanfic #roy kent fic #roy kent fanfiction #roy kent imagine #ted lasso #ted lasso fic #ted lasso fanfic #ted lasso fanfiction

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onthewaytosomewhere · 1 month

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Happy WIP Wednesday!!

So apparently some of y'all have been busy and well I'm gonna get this in now before I don't get a chance to because while it's still rough draft, this bit of 'baby just say yes' (that tswift fairytale) is really quite cute and deserves to be seen by more than just me b4 April

so thank you @adreamareads @stellarm @duchessdepolignaca03 @suseagull04 @sophie1973 @england-would-fall so much for the tags I am so excited to read what ya posted ❤️

Prince Alex is still ten years of age when it happens, just days before Prince Henry is to turn twelve, they are practicing their magic lessons together in the garden, learning how to wield their magic together. They are working on a lesson they learned from Prince Henry’s parents, Princess Catherine and Royal Earl Arthur, on strengthening each other’s magic. They have been working at it for quite some time to no avail, and young princes are growing frustrated when there is a sudden poof! of magic between them. Prince Alex closes his eyes at the flash of light accompanying the burst of magic, and when he opens them, Henry is no longer sitting in front of him. The young prince lets out a screech that he denies whenever the story is retold as he feels something small jump in his lap. The young prince looks down, and the most adorable, almost-blonde kitten is staring up at him; the kitten's eyes look like Henry’s shade of blue in them. The prince is so excited to show Henry the kitten when he finds out where he is. When Arthur finds him, Alex is still sitting with the kitten curled up in his arms, petting and kissing its adorable face. The magic emanating from the area gives some indication of what happened, but he asks anyway, “Alex, where is Henry? I was under the impression the two of you were out here practicing.” Alex sets the kitten into his lap and looks up; the fear in his young eyes is evident to any who takes a moment to look. “Well, we were practicing, working on some of the tandom magic you and Catherine showed us, and - something happened. I don’t know what, but there was a poof!” Alex says with an exaggerated movement of his arms, continuing, “And I closed my eyes because of the very bright light, and then when I opened them, Henry wasn’t here, and this adorable kitten was instead. I may have gotten a little distracted when we were working, and now I don’t know where Henry is.” Alex stops speaking when the kitten starts to bat at his arms, which are still moving around. He picks the kitten back up into his arms, and it snuggles into his chest. Arthur barely has to use any of his magic to know that the kitten Alex is so attached to is his son, Henry. The young prince, Alex, is devastated when he is told that his friend, his best friend, other than his sister, June, is now a kitten. He is so smitten with the kitten that he only lets it out of his sight when he falls asleep. He deems it his job to care for Kitty Hen as he has taken to calling the kitten; after all, he blames himself for the magic mishap that caused the change. Alex spends his days at the palace in Windsor caring for his friend; he asks his favorite cook in the kitchen to help him make a cat-friendly cake for Henry when it’s obvious that he won’t be turning back before his birthday. He finds only the best tuna for his friend, which he finds funny because he’s never known his friend to eat tuna when in human form. Alex brings Kitty Hen with him everywhere and sometimes swears to those around them that the kitten is trying to communicate with him; the prince has yet to figure out how to understand the cat, though. The Prince has found that if the kitten must do his business inside, he will attempt to climb onto the toilet rather than use the litter box that has been provided. This leads to Alex finding the kitten fallen into the toilet the first day, and from then on, he has spent almost every waking moment he can outside with the kitten to give it somewhere it won’t fall into to do his business. If when Henry is in human form, Alex gets them into most of the scrapes they get into, then in kitten form, Henry is definitely making up for that - as Alex follows the kitten everywhere, and kittens have a much easier time getting around unseen. Every time Alex receives a scolding for one of their adventures, the kitten that is his friend climbs into his lap and purrs until he forgives him, only to do it all again.

Ok so some no-pressure tags going out to (if you've already posted - just saying 'hi' cuz well I didn't check today) @agame-writes @anincompletelist @bitbybitwrites @dragonflylady77 @firenati0n @firstprinces @forever-fixating @heybuddy-drabbles @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @inexplicablymine @itsmaybitheway @junebugclaremontdiaz @kiwiana-writes @lizzie-bennetdarcy @magicandarchery @nocoastposts @piratefalls @priincebutt @sunnysideprince @taste-thewaste @typicalopposite and bcuz it's relevant to our convo @littlemisskittentoes

#wip wednesday #firstprince #red white and royal blue #rwrb fic #baby just say yes #kitten!henry #now hoping i can get back to the fic i want to post this month #well and some others lol

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patolemus · 2 months

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i don’t know why i am the way i am (there’s something in the static, i think i’ve been having revelations)

Rin has always been a believer. Both he and Yukio attended mass every Sunday at the monastery all their lives, grew up listening to Shiro and the other priests recite from the Bible—and this is the only book Rin knows almost by heart. The twins were baptized when they were younger, and despite his rebellious attitude, Rin has never wavered over that belief - whether that is because he was always surrounded by it or not - and it’s Yukio who’s gotten more skeptic about it as the years pass.

After Shiro dies, and Rin finds out he’s the son of Satan, Rin stops going to church. He doesn’t believe he’s welcomed at God’s house anymore, son of the original sinner that he is. He mourns the loss quietly, spending Sunday mornings in the quiet of his and Yukio’s abandoned dorm hoping he could be somewhere else.

(Alternatively, he could go to the chapel obsessively, turning his believes into a quest for absolution. Maybe if he behaves like a good Christian boy ought to do, if he follows the rules and proves Rin has not abandoned him, God will forgive him the sin of being born.)

Rin would want to have his confirmation—maybe he was in the middle of that process before Satan possessed Shiro. But now that holy instruments harm him, it’s like another sign that a demon isn’t welcomed, and that God has forsaken him. For that same reason, some of his favorite Bible verses harm him, and it’s through gritted teeth and clenched fists that he recites them in class and to himself, refusing to give them up because he’s turned tainted by his demon blood.

(When he first awakens, the night before the funeral, Rin takes a bottle full of holy water from the monastery’s reserves and tries dousing himself on them, thinking he might be able to cleanse himself of this curse with it. It burns, making his skin splotchy red and his eyes water from the pain. He’d always been able to touch it without issues before, but now it repels him. Rin falls to his knees in front of the altar, head bowed to the sculpture of Jesus crucified on the cross, and wonders for the first time if God has left him.)

(The burn fades within the hour, and Rin hates that most of all.)

Rin avoids mirrors the first few weeks after Shiro’s death, not wanting to see how he’s irrevocably changed. He hates the feeling of his longer canines when he runs his tongue over them, grimaces at the new, sharper shape of his ears, can’t barely take a look at his tail to stuff it under his shirt. He looks like he’s only just rolled out of bed, appearance shabby and unkept, but Rin prefers that to watching himself now that he’s no longer one of God’s creations.

He prays by his bedside every night - even more so now that he can’t go to mass, Rin has started praying obsessively since Shiro died - has his rosary around his neck even though it makes his skin itch and takes it everywhere he goes. He always blesses the table before eating, thanking God for the food he’s provided for them.

Every time he uses his flames, Rin feels like a sinner. This are the flames of Satan, the flames of the original sinner, God’s antithesis. Using them feels like forsaking God just like God has forsaken him, but Rin finds no joy in it. As the flames die out and Rin’s freaky demonic features recede, he bows his head and prays. “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned,” he says, trying and failing to feel better about himself.

His friends notice, after all secrets are out in the open and Rin doesn’t have to hide them anymore, and they look at him strangely for it, like his apology to God is out of the norm. Maybe they don’t think Rin would be religious, as the son of Satan. Maybe they just think it’s strange that he’s looking for absolution. They don’t comment on it until much later, when Bon tells him that he’s not a sinner just because he uses Satan’s flames. Bon is much smarter than Rin, so infinitely smarter, so Rin tries to believe him. He never stops praying though.

When he first realizes his feelings for Bon are less than platonic, his first instinct is to go to the confessionary and confess his sin. But the only priest he’s confessed to is Shiro, and Shiro is dead (Shiro is dead), and what priest would give absolution to a demon? So Rin doesn’t go, stewing on his guilt and thinking about it obsessively (“Forgive me father, for I have sinned. This is my first-tenth-hundredth-thousandth confession.” “Forgive me Father, for I want, and I do not know how to stop wanting.”). Is it because he’s the Son of Satan? Was he born a sinner, always meant to stray from God’s path like Satan did? How can he follow God’s will when he’s fallen in love with a boy?

Later, he realizes Shiro would have probably been fine with it, and if Shiro approves… maybe it’s not so wrong. Maybe Rin isn’t sinning when he looks at Bon feeling butterflies in his stomach, isn’t straying from God’s intended path when Bon’s laugh makes him happy. And if this is not a sin then maybe being a halfling isn’t either. Maybe it’s not God that has forsaken him, but the Catholic Church.

(The Vatican will never love him. They have casted him as the villain before he could even prove himself one of God’s believers, and they’ll never let him forget who his father is, and what he’s done. He’ll never be able to visit freely, to marvel at the beautiful structures and the holiness of it all. It hurts. But it hurts less than thinking he’s beyond saving, that God has given up on saving him.

The Vatican can suck it.)

Rin tries going to church again. It’s a daunting task, after days and weeks and months without stepping foot inside a chapel, but Rin finds himself sitting on the third row at the Sunday mass held near True Cross Academy, and feels the knot in his stomach loosen as he listens to the priest. It’s familiar. It’s liberating. Rin feels a little more like himself. Bon is waiting for him at the school gates when he’s done, looking immensely proud and Rin takes his hand in his and lets the feeling of contentment wash over him.

He still prays. He still blesses the table. He still recites verses of the Bible even if they hurt him, and he still refuses to go to a confessionary.

But he can stand to look at himself in the mirror now. He resumes his confirmation process, even knowing he may never be allowed the actual sacrament. He lets himself see a world where he can be the son of Satan and a good Christian, where he can love a boy who’s beautiful and good to him without disappointing God. It’s a different world than the one he lived in before, but Rin thinks it’s a world Shiro would be proud of.

It’s a start.

——————————

(This is my interpretation as I was raised Catholic and went to a Catholic school all my life. I’m nowhere near as devoted as I’m making Rin here lol, but I grew up around Catholic religion and know people who are very hardcore Catholics, so this, as well as my own religious education, is where I draw my knowledge from.)

(Also, I want to clarify that a lot of Rin’s thoughts are in no way healthy, and he will grow to let go of them in time. This is the result of a very traumatic situation that left him stranded with no sense of direction, and some of his actions stem from a need to overcompensate for being half demon. He’ll get better as he learns to deal with that reality.)

Update: my brain won’t stop eating at me so this has turned into a thing (tm). Let’s call it revelations au because I think I’m funny. You can find all my posts about it through that tag in my profile.

#patolemus thinks #that never ends well #the religious guilt!au I didn’t know I needed #this might turn into an actual fic who knows #definitely not me #rin okumura #my baby is going through it #bonrin #rin x bon #ao no exorcist #blue exorcist #religion #religious guilt #fanfic #fanfiction #writing prompt #revelations au

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kechiwrites · 1 month

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toxic baby daddy!ghost x reader

part 7/8

synopsis: two weeks into your uneasy truce, simon gets introspective.

wc: 811

cw: afab!reader, angst, banter that becomes arguing, hurt and the tiniest bit of comfort, language, trust issues, simon's pov, no gendered language. no use of y/n ever.

author’s note: well, we back at it, the second last installment of this verse. i'll still take requests/thots for it of course, but soon we'll get closure for these two. for now, simon's thoughts on their situation.

new to baby blue? start here.

It’s disarming.

And Simon Riley doesn’t like being disarmed. He doesn’t like being caught off guard, off kilter, unstable.

It’s been happening more and more often though.

When you and Tommy look at him in perfect unison, he is struck stupid by your eyes, like you copy and pasted them onto your son. His son. His kid. His perfect, funny kid. Unmuddied by everything bad in the world. His life is pancakes and dinosaurs and that horrible fucking tv show that he’s sure rots his little mind. His life is you. Your smiles, your laugh, your cooking, your hugs. Things Simon cheated himself of when he walked out on you, choked with fear and bleeding misery.

Simon is disarmed, totally fucking helpless, a veritable babe in the woods when you let him hold you. When for the first time, in a long ass time, he gets to watch your lids flutter closed and slip into unconsciousness, in that quick, carefree way he’s always envied.

He barely sleeps, even less so lately.

After all, no sleeping meant no nightmares. No cloying, choking smoke-like fears reaching for the frayed edges of his subconscious. No sleeping meant he couldn’t play on your kindness, your goodness, and guilt you into holding him back when he woke up screaming, sweating, no matter how bad he wanted it.

It’s two weeks later. Two weeks after sleeping together but not sleeping together. After breakfast and an uneasy truce. Two weeks after kissing you and touching you and holding you like you both had all the time in the world.

You’re not in a good mood. And he knows that. But he pushes you anyway, pokes and prods you even as you slam through your kitchen, noisily pulling out a pot and a huge bag of pasta shells.

“Let’s talk.” He approaches, arms crossed, full kit traded in for a skull emblazoned cloth mask, jeans and a threadbare black t-shirt, one he’d found in your bedroom days ago, stashed in the back your drawer, crumpled in a wrinkled ball, like you didn’t want to see it, but you didn’t want to trash it either. He’s been doing that lately, staying over for days and rifling through your shit, finding old relics and artifacts from a time neither of you can let go of. An old mask, a hat, t-shirts.

So many goddamn t-shirts.

“Talk?” you snort derisively, filling the pot with water. He watches you test the water with your fingertips and curse under your breath, mumbling something about shit pipes. When the pot is full, you turn to face him, lips curled, sneering. “I wasn’t aware you were capable of that. Thought you just communicated in grunts.”

“You’re funny. That's new.” He jabs, advancing in the conversation much faster than he should have, comforted in familiar territory, finding solace in what used to be commonplace for you, banter, barbs, teasing. The tense set of your shoulders should’ve warned him off it, should’ve told him you’d take it as well as a bullet in the back. But God help him, he’ll take whatever you give.

“Mm.” Your tone is casual but your answering nod is jerky, too fast, “Yeah, I developed a sense of humour when I realized our relationship had been a joke.” You slam the pot onto a burner, giving him your back.

The air is suddenly devoid of mirth, utterly obliterated where it had been floating between you before. Now the living room and kitchen are a smoking crater, an oil rig on fire, a disaster site.

He’s never been more grateful for his son’s propensity to nap like he’s dead.

Neither of you say anything. Simon is waiting for you to say something, to dress him down, but when you lower your head and sigh, heavy and deep with pain and exhaustion he planted within you, Simon withers. He slinks back to the living room and drops himself onto your couch.

You wait, he’s not sure what for. He used to be so good at preempting your actions, your thoughts, your words, now he handles you like you’re a venomous reptile, looking for exposed, vulnerable flesh to strike, to bite.

You set down the glass you’d been drinking from hard. And he’s surprised you didn’t crack it.

“What do you want, Simon?” Question of the goddamn century, it is. And you’ve asked it of him plenty of times. But he never has an answer, can never really deduce just what the fuck he’s doing here, with you. With Tommy. Playing a game? Playing a role? Punishing you? Himself? All of it could be true, but none of it seems right.

“I want to try.”

All he knows is that before this, four years seemed like a short time, nothing really. But now?

It’s an eternity. Reflected back to him in broken glass, in half full drawers, in his son’s eyes.

In yours.

comments + tags + reblogs are so appreciated

oh simon...what do you want?

series masterlist here

#ghost x black reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley #ghost x reader #ghost smut #simon riley x reader #simon riley smut #ghost x you #ghost x black!reader #simon riley x you #kechiwrites #baby blue fic #baby daddy ghost #ghost x gn reader #cod fanfic #cod imagine #cod x reader #cod mw2 x reader #cod mw3 x reader

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eddie4bat-president · 10 months

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I'm not a writer but i had this thought so- bear with me, yeah?

For months Eddie hears all about how cool and badass Steve Harrington is, yeah, but you know what he also hears about? How Steve and Robin are made for each other and how cool and pretty Robin is and how stupid it is that they're not a couple for some dumb reason, like Steve not wanting to be with a band geek and still clinging to high school hierarchy. And in all of the things Dustin says about Steeeve Harrington, that last part is the only thing that fits into the Munson Doctrine, so obviously everything else Henderson is saying is what's skewed in his little shrimp world view.

Steve Harrington thinks he's better than a band geek and that's why we won't look twice at a girl that would be perfect for him (according to Dustin Henderson, so... still questionably trustworthy information). Eddie probably assumes Dustin is talking up how close Steve and Robin actually are, just how he's exaggerating how close Dustin himself is to Harrington (like that would impress Eddie and the rest of Hellfire??? He really doesn't know how to get through to the little sheep that his worship of Hawkins' most notorious square is a detriment to his character and not something Eddie would find impressive. If it was real. Which it obviously isn't. Anyway-)

Turns out? Steve Harrington? Actually a cool dude. Not cool as in popular but cool as in "holy shit did he just bite that thing's head off???? Oh and he's not even gonna brag about that, it's just nbd, yeah sure, cool cool cool be fucking cool Eddie, oh god he's talking to me why is he talking to me" and just, chill to hang out with. After the whole shit show went down. Who would have fucking thought, huh? (except for Dustin Henderson, yeah yeah yeah, shut up)

So now Eddie has to reevaluate some other assumptions he made. Maybe Dustin was right and Steve actually is cool and badass, and he and Buckley actually are as close as he had said (and they really fucking are! He has seen them give Keith eerily matching bitchy looks for trying to schedule them on opposing shifts and basically bully the guy into changing the schedule around so they can spend as much time as possible in each other's presence. It's enough to make a guy question his own friendships when sometimes a few hours of band practice are enough to make him want to never see any of those chucklefucks again. Of course, that feeling abates but seriously, how are those two never sick of each other??)

So if they're as close as advertised but not a couple (and after meeting everyone Steve cares about and they're basically all nerds so the "Harrington thinks he's too good for a band geek" thing can't actually hold true-) what is the hold-up? Why aren't they a couple? And somehow, somehow Eddie comes to the conclusion that Steve is in love with Robin. Steve is a serial romantic (emphasis on romantic) and while his love life isn't the talk of the town post-earthquakes as it would have been before, people do still talk about the fact that he hasn't taken out a girl since it happened.

Which brings us to a day in summer, maybe fall, after Eddie has seen Steve look wistfully at a young couple with a baby, that he shows up at Robin's door step.

"Eddie? Hey what's up?"

"Good, good, how are you? Uhh can I... can I come in?" There's a nervous energy around him that is immediately infectious and she leads him to the living room where he immediately starts walking back and forth in front of the couch. She watches him for a moment, hands fluttering through different motions trying to find one that might calm him down before giving up on that. Instead Robin swerves around him, clambering onto the couch and wrapping her arms around her right leg, putting her head on her knee. She follows Eddie's path with her eyes and decides to wait before quickly realizing that she can't, actually.

"As riveting as it is watching you walk a groove into my parents' rug, do you maybe want to say something? I mean I can definitely talk enough for the both if us if that's what you want it's just that I have the slight suspicion you've got something you need to get off your chest" Eddie stopped walking halfway through her monologue and starts nodding.

"Yeah. Yeah yeah yes you're right it's just- I haven't a hundred percent made up my mind about saying something", Eddie has one arm wrapped around himself and uses the other to alternately play with his hair and gesticulate at her, "because on the one hand it's a little bit driving me crazy, maybe, but on the other hand this is none of my fucking business" And Robin who was worried at first just because Eddie is nervous, then for a second because she was scared he was going to confess to a very ill-advised crush on her, is stumped. What the fuck is this about and why did it bring him to her of all people?

"Just say it you weirdo", is what decides to comes out of her mouth but it doesn't even matter because half of her sentence is layered with his "Are you aware Steve is in love with you?"

[here we're facing the issue of me not actually being a writer and pretty much running out of steam but we also haven't reached the part that sparked this whole thing yet, which is wild - let's just pretend I wrote a very funny dialogue between those two in which Eddie confronts Robin for stringing poor Steve along ]

There's a moment when they're both silent and there's a moment when they're both talking and then there are steps coming down the stairs. They make a smirk grow on Robin's face that is starting to worry Eddie when not a parental figure but Steve Harrington steps through the doorway. He's wearing sweatpants and a shirt that might be Robin's and there's a headband pushing his hair away from his face.

"Don't yell at me for coming downstairs, you took forever and the first layer... is... dry....", he stops in his tracks the moment he looks up from his bare toes and sees Eddie. Then he very quickly rips off the headband and slings it somewhere to his right into the unknown of the hallway.

"Hi Eddie. What's... up" Eddie is going to sink into the floor and never come up for air again.

In the meantime Robin stood up on the couch to sit cross-legged on the back of it for a better vantage point and is steepling her fingers in front of her face. Eddie is getting the distinct impression he's missing some crucial information here.

"Stevie, babe, platonic love of my life-", Steve nods for her to go on, "you know how we decided I get a veto on your romantic life because we realized droves of suboptimal dates actually make you miserable so we're going for quality over quanity for the first time in your small-town Casanova life?" Steve has that cute little crease between his eyebrows while he's looking back and forth between Eddie and Robin, trying to figure out what's going on but he rolls his eyes at the end of her sentence, back in familiar territory. "Yes, Robin-"

She interrupts: "And you know how I also reserved the right to give a shovel slash molotov cocktail talk to anyone we deemed worthy of being a potential future partner?" Steve's face somehow shows an emotion that can only be encapsulated by "?!" as he glances to Eddie before shifting back to Robin with just the "?" remaining.

"First I have to say I'm personally very pro, I loved this experience; Eddie here really made a fool of himself, very worried for your delicate sensibilities and how I'm breaking your sweet little heart." "...what...?"

"So: what's the verdict on a potential future partner giving me the shovel talk?"

#Robin had painted 7 of Steve toes when Eddie rang the doorbell btw #they're a dark blue because Steve didn't want to jump into the deep end with too feminine a color #but black felt too edgy #but while they were drying and on the way down he kept looking at them and thinking #''i don't think this is my color... maybe a light blue? no too baby boy. yellow? nah that's ugly. orange? wait maybe with a stripe?#can nails be striped...?'' so when he arrived downstairs he was starting to worry he had never looked at a girl's nails because he didn't #know and whether that was sexist somehow #he had to shift gears very quickly when he arrived downstairs is what i'm saying #anyway i cannot stress enough how much i am not a writer #but the thing with the reverse shovel talk came to me and it wanted out #platonic stobin #steddie fic #steddie #hey i'm talkin' here #robin buckley #steve harrington #eddie munson #not beta read #top posts

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