I get mean when I’m nervous.
Im a bad dog.
I will bare my teeth.
I will bite the hand that feeds.
You have beaten me down.
Backed me into a corner.
I am a scared animal.
I’m a bad dog.
I will bare my teeth.
I will bite.
- S
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How would my pookie bear Izuru react to an S/O who’s just always making dirty jokes Mars cough not me cough pls I’d love to know 🌝
LMAO NOT YOU?????????
I mean, never you! I'm so sorry if you have a hard time relating to this because this could never be you!
This is pre-TYBW because I think his reaction would be more fun.
Izuru is reserved. Even playing cat's cradle with you is enough to dust his ears in embarrassment. He keeps snagging on the feeling of your finger brushing his. On the curl of string round your knuckle tightening against his own when you move. His heart is racing. This is a boring game, a time sink for most. But not to him. And most certainly not with your shoulder pressed to his.
So when you peek up at him, mouth twisted up and ask him, "what's the blush for?"
He can't articulate beyond what he's already said, when you first suggested playing this way. Head bowed, triangle of bangs shielding his face, Izuru labors for something cool to say.
But he's all thoughts. How pathetic he can't manage to weave them in conversation, off paper. How wasteful that you're with him. But how selfish and thankful he is, too.
"Playing with your left hand and my right," he says as you loop your pinky to match his, "Its...nice."
You hum and the string goes slack as you press into his side, too close, "I can think of something even nicer for you to play with."
"W-what?"
His free hand pushes aside his bangs, as if seeing you with both eyes will unravel your intention. Because, well....you can't mean...
"You know, if you wanna tie up more than just my hand?"
"More than your h-hand? You mean...as in...if we...!"
Laughing, you interlocked your fingers with his as he burns, not opening his mouth. Not wanting to stutter again.
"I was just joking," you said, kissing his cheek. "You're so cute, Izuru-kun."
Izuru kisses your brow by reflex, trying to push away the image of you all tied up. Because would you want that? Would you let him? You were being light-hearted but what if...
You fall into laughter again as he calms himself.
"You're dangerous," he finally manages, admiring the tangle of string still connecting you to him.
Gesturing to your chest, you give a wink. "I am always packing."
He covers his glowing face and groans while you elbow his side in hysterics, still too flustered to look you in the eye.
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*shaking violently* the reason you feel like shit is probably because your brain wants to be doing something but you are instead using it as a reason to continue not doing things. you have gotten yourself trapped in a terrible cycle that you refuse to take steps to break in the name of self-care and protecting yourself but all you are doing is causing yourself more harm. write a stupid story with no plot and bad characterization. draw a drawing with shaky lines and fuck up while coloring it in. try to figure out how to crochet something and stare in confused horror when the yarn starts pulling because you missed a stitch 3 rows back. failure sucks and it can maybe make you feel bad. but for the love of fuck please try to create something anyway even if it turns out terrible because you will never break free of this feeling if you don't start trying to. and who knows? maybe once you finish your stupid plushie with a sizeable dent in its head from that missed stitch, you will look at it's ugly face and smile because it looks terrible but it exists and it only exists because you made it.
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Hey anyone/everyone who sees this,
Sending warm fuzzy feelings, cranberry juice/ hot coco/ whatever you prefer and 70% dark chocolate bar cause I learned just how bitter it can taste. It was like a punch to the face, that I think I got whiplash. It's an experience and it really knocks you down to earth cause I almost landed back on my arse.
Just a reminder everyone can have their dips and doubts. Your artwork/ writing/posts are always appreciated, but so is your time. I'm a new follower for some and a long time silent viewer for others. Some of you've probably had repeated ask/ like/rebloggers. But sometimes the likes/reblogs dwindle, and it's 98% likely not on you, so please take a breather. (I think the other 2% are the troll creators who eventually/likely irk the audience to leave just to avoid toxic environments).
Think of your followers as your OG who more feel elated seeing you post ANYTHING. It means you're alive, it means you're still around, and it's a platonic love that I think people cherish even if they ever left this site. Even if I see a post I don't interact with/ reblog. I can always get a smile, maybe even a bit teary eyed if the person posting was silent on their blog for a long time.
I become relieved, grateful with the thought "This human/friend is still around. Thank the stars, I'd be crushed if I ever found out I lost them due to exterior/inner struggles they were facing.." Seeing someone I follow post when it's been weeks/months, it's like a warm hug or them giving a wave like saying "I'm here! I'm likely going through stuff because I have doubts about what I create/like, or life sure is keeping me busy! Or I'm kinda floating along and waiting for this numbness to settle... But I'm here! This little star is still shining, even if I feel dirty or dim, your night sky is just as bright still! I'm around, the light of my life is still burning bright, even if I forget how brightly I shine to others!"
..... Just, if you've read all this. Please know I'm grateful you're alive. You don't have to post, you don't have to say anything. Even I fall silent. Just know, I'm grateful you're alive and your light is still keeping my night sky adorned with your light. Trust me, there are others like me who treasure you and are grateful, that in your own unique ways, we get to see you shine.
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