#apparently not but like... we have the power to make one up. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

theladyofbloodshed · 1 day

Text

Chapter 23

(Previous chapter ended on the cliff-hanger of Feyre and Nesta being ambushed in the library - Sorry for the super long wait)

Her skirts tangled with her legs as Nesta tried to match Feyre’s speed. Only their heavy breaths broke the silence in the bowel of the library.

‘Faster,’ Feyre commanded.

Nesta couldn’t. Her stomach cramped and her legs were already burning as they barrelled towards the pit in the library.

Feyre’s fingers gripped her arm then, from the inky gloom, two males stepped forwards. One dark-haired, one light. Both in grey jackets embroidered with bone-white thread and a crest of a far away kingdom over their heart. How were they here?

Something was blown towards her. She flinched from it to no avail. A cold slithered through her body, magic nullified. Beside her, Feyre spluttered and coughed from the dust. Nesta just kept gripping onto her sister’s arm in turn. Feyre would have a plan. Her High Lord would come. Somebody would help them.

‘So easy to get into their minds once our master let us through the wards,’ said the dark-haired one. ‘To make them think we were scholars. We’d planned to come for you… but it seems you found us first.’

Their words were not meant for Feyre, but for her. Nesta forced herself to stand her ground even though these were males of unfathomable age with powers that would not touch the surface of her own.

‘Who are you?’

The white-haired one smiled broadly on his approach. ‘We are the king’s Ravens. His far-flying eyes and talons. And we’ve come to take you back.’

This was her fault. All her fault. For meddling with the Cauldron and not going down quietly. Her eyes took in the blades at their side, the muscles of their broad bodies. She held Feyre’s hand tighter, breaths coming quicker. This could be the end, she thought.

The end and there is so much that I haven’t done.

‘You’re not taking her anywhere,’ her sister declared. She pulled out a knife – but it was pitiful in comparison to their swords. But she knew her sister and Feyre would fight to the end.

‘You are an unexpected prize too. But your sister…’ A smile showed off too-white teeth. ‘You took something from that Cauldron, girl. The king wants it back.’

Nesta did the calculation quickly. Two of them. Four blades. Magic. Her sister who’d be all in because that was who Feyre was. She couldn’t take another sacrifice. Not for her.

‘If he wants what I took, he can come get it himself,’ she sneered.

‘He’s too busy to bother,’ one male purred, taking a step closer.

Nesta rolled her eyes, feigning disinterest. ‘Apparently you’re not’

Feyre squeezed her fingers. They exchanged a sliver of a glance. And suddenly they were children again. Children about to be in big trouble because they’d climbed out of the window when a travelling fair had been in the town after father strictly forbade any of the servants to take them. He’d gone elsewhere and mother was preoccupied. His carriage rolled down the driveway as evening settled in – and Nesta and Feyre knew he’d make it home before them. They’d squeezed hands then. Squeezed hands and ran like the wind around the back of the house, tummies full of sugary food from the fair, through a window and up the servant’s staircase.

‘You made a grave mistake coming here. To my house.’ They sniggered at Feyre’s words. ‘And I hope it rips you into bloody ribbons.’

Her heart lurched as Feyre broke the hold and span. Nesta followed just as swiftly, feet pounding on the ground as they ran downwards, down to the eternal blackness of the pit at the heart of the library. And into the arms of whatever lurked inside.

The males’ voices were drowned out as they ran. The smell turned musty and damp, the air thickening as they delved deeper. They would run and run, buying as much time as they could. Somebody would come for them. Azriel would come for them.

‘Don’t stop,’ Feyre urged, as the lights around them flickered out.

A high-pitched scratching sounded like talons on stone. One of the Ravens crooned, ‘Do you know what happened to them – the queens?’

‘Keep going,’ Feyre panted even as Nesta stumbled.

‘Do you want to know what happened to those queens? The youngest one practically trampled the others to get in. But the Cauldron… Oh, it knew that something had been taken from it. It was furious. When that queen went in, it took what she valued most – her youth.’

Nesta staggered again, unable to manage against her heavy skirts in the blackness. It was only Feyre’s firm hand towing her along that kept her up. Her lungs were ready to burst, breaths ragged and sawing at her lungs.

‘The other queens refuse to enter out of terror. And the youngest one. Oh, if you could hear how she talks, Nesta Archeron. The things she wants to do to you when Hybern is done.’

How deep could they go? Their bodies were spending easier than the males who followed behind, bored of the chase.

‘Run toward the light,’ Feyre said.

A faint trickle was far away and high up.

‘I’ll hold them off.’

‘No.’

‘Run,’ she breathed, squeezing Nesta’s fingers so hard they’d be turning white. ‘Please. Nesta, please.’

***

Azriel had not breathed since the afternoon. When word came that he was to guard Elain, to give his life if needed, the alarm bells had began ringing. They hadn’t stopped since. He’d almost vomited when Rhys shared Cassian’s memories with them all. Nesta running into his arms, the bone-white face, the sheer terror emanating from her. Feyre curled in a ball while Bryaxis feasted on Hybern’s Ravens.

When they reconvened, Azriel tamped down on every instinct that demanded he surge across the room and haul Nesta into his arms. It was hard. The hardest thing he’d ever done. Nobody else seemed to notice that her hands still shook hours later or that her eyes frequently slid out of focus. On his orders, Nuala brought in tea and biscuits and he’d urged the wraith to thrust it into Nesta’s hands because she was too vacant to reach for it otherwise.

The only time Nesta seemed lucid was when Elain spoke. She was a seer. Azriel had suspected it for a while; her strange garbling only making sense with hindsight. They needed to get ahead – to understand her words before they came to fruition. To avoid situations like that again. Each time he closed his eyes, he could only see Nesta running for her life.

He toed the line. Followed the rules. When Rhys sent him off with Lucien to prepare the male for his trip to the Continent, Azriel squeezed his nails into the fleshy part of his palms leaving little crescents in their wake.

Once the night settled in, he knew he should return to duties. Despite the breach by Hybern, his spies still had threads to tug on elsewhere. Responsibility should have prevailed.

But Azriel would be damned if he put orders over his mate’s wellbeing.

His knuckles were too loud, too desperate against the door.

It took only moments for the door to open. Shadows were smeared beneath Nesta’s eyes as she stared at him. Then she threw herself forwards. Her arms reached around his waist, knuckles grazing the base of his wings so he needed to bite down on his lip to keep from moaning at the sudden, intimate touch.

Would she understand why he hadn’t gone to her sooner? Hadn’t held her when she needed it?

Azriel lifted her a few inches off the floor to carry her over the threshold into her room. The door closed with the help of his shadows. He was torn between clinging onto her or checking Nesta from head to toe. She was fine, physically. The effects of the faebane were out of her system. Logically, she was not harmed. But there was so much more to it; so many layers to the day. Nesta had stolen from the Cauldron. It had spawned revenge not only from the Cauldron itself, the king, and a queen. It was a lot to handle. And to top it all off, Elain was a seer.

‘I wanted to go to you,’ he said. ‘Then everybody would know.’

The bond had burnt not with fire, but ice. It felt so cold that he wondered if that was how death was. A never-ending frost.

‘I know,’ she replied weakly. ‘I know.’

Her fingertips dug into his body, afraid to release him.

‘How can I help?’

Nesta swallowed. ‘I don’t know.’

The need to whisk her away from danger gnawed at his skin. He could do it. Pack a bag and the pair of them could run. Keep on running to the end of the world to keep her safe. And she’d hate him for it.

Azriel shucked off his boots then stripped down to the waist. The spring was already too warm, the heat sticking his leathers to him. He was conscious of Nesta’s eyes trailing his tattoos as if committing them to memory.

‘Come here,’ he murmured.

As one would carry the most precious goods, Azriel lifted Nesta into his arms then settled in the bed. She made no protests. The night wasn’t for bedding her. If the Mother blessed them, he’d have time to learn her body, to discover all the ways to make her moan and writhe beneath him another day. Tonight, Azriel wanted to hold her. The images from the library haunted him. Only the steady singing of her heart managed to settle the restlessness in him. He should have been there. It should have been him racing to the pit to find her, not Cassian.

It was a night that he would never forget. Azriel held his mate in his arms. Her face was tucked against his neck, his hand tracing patterns through her nightgown onto her back. He wished it could have been under different circumstances – but he’d take what he could get. Eventually, Nesta’s body grew heavier as her limbs relaxed and her breathing deepened.

There were spies waiting for him to pass on intel. A whole network that he had created through centuries of spinning threads. Azriel knew he should have gone. Should have slipped away into the night like he often did with lovers. But this was not a one-time lover, a name he’d forget, a face he’d never remember. This was Nesta Archeron – his mate – and he was not leaving her.

***

Muffled footsteps trod past her room as the house awoke. Lucien Vanserra would be leaving that morning, an early start seized, for the Continent. Nesta didn’t know what effect it would have on Elain – whether she’d be better or regress without his nearby presence.

As for Nesta, she was still in Azriel’s arms. He had slid into a supine position, half-supported by pillows whilst still clinging to her.

It was the best sleep she had had in a long time.

His presence had been enough to chase away any nightmares about the library.

At her first movements, he was instantly alert, arms locking tight around her on an instinct. Slowly, ever so slowly, Azriel released his grip. ‘Sorry.’

‘Don’t be,’ she replied.

When she stepped from the bed, she adjusted her night gown, ensuring it was back in its rightful place without flashing too much skin. From the floor below, there was a slight murmur of voices as breakfast was taken.

‘Thank you,’ said Nesta, folding her fingers together over her abdomen. ‘For coming here.’

‘I wanted to come sooner. I had so many orders and-’

‘It is alright,’ she reassured him. ‘I wanted it this way.’

Perhaps. Nesta wasn’t sure. The desire for secrecy while she navigated the lure of the bond had been at her insistence, yet the idea of Azriel being there to hold her tightly in those first few moments when they returned to the town house was appealing. Far more appealing than the stiff drink that Cassian had jammed into her hands.

She gave Azriel no privacy as he pulled his clothes back on. Her eyes went to his tattoos again, trying to decipher the whorls of dark ink that wrapped around his muscles.

‘You’ll be well today?’

Nesta gave a stiff nod. ‘Now we know that I have stolen something and a whole country is hunting for me, Amren has more of guess on my powers. We’ll be working most of the day, I can imagine.’

His scarred fingers slid over his taut stomach to tighten his trousers and Nesta found herself mesmerised by the motion. She dreamed of putting her hands there, of feeling the muscles beneath.

‘Make sure to eat today,’ he said, touching her cheek. ‘Amren forgets others need to – so don’t be afraid to take a break. She’s a hard task master.’

Such a simple statement encompassed so much care. It was harder and harder to think about breaking a bond when his care underpinned it all. Away from the House of Wind, it was harder for them to speak in privacy. There were more bodies and less space in the Town House for quiet meetings.

As if picking up on her thoughts, he asked, ‘Do you need anything from the house? Have you read all eight of your books already?’

‘A couple more days,’ she said, fighting away a smile.

Again, Azriel touched her cheek as if that was all he’d let himself do while they were alone. ‘I have to go. Hope it goes well today.’

Nesta stepped closer with the urge to kiss him rising with courage – then she stopped herself. How could she encourage his hope when she was still undecided? It wasn’t fair.

‘Thank you. Goodbye.’

He slipped from the room in silence, his steps hidden by magic, then she departed not long afterwards.

The day was spent busy. Azriel hadn’t lied that Amren didn’t believe in breaks. It was only when Nesta’s stomach did not stop growling that she’d raised an eyebrow and asked if Nesta planned to do anything about it. But that didn’t mean a break. Nesta had to eat whilst reading because time was precious. The Wall was precious. She could cope with pushing through to try and protect the thousands of mortals beneath Prythian who’d suffer enormously as a result of an invasion.

At one point, Amren clutched the ruby necklace she wore, a look of concentration holding her features still.

‘Adriata,’ she said suddenly. ‘It’s under attack.’

Nesta remained in mute horror at the table as the house burst into a flurry. She saw no sign of Azriel or the high lord. There was a glimpse of Cassian surging into the sky, his massive wings leading him to Illyria. When Feyre rushed down the stairs, wearing her Illyrian leathers and strapping knives to her body, Nesta went cold. Her sister meant to go to war. Morrigan wore similar attire. Her long, blonde hair had been bound for once.

‘He’ll blame himself for not discovering Hybern’s movements last night,’ Feyre was saying in the hallway.

Mor gave a sigh. ‘Azriel always blames himself. If the intel hasn’t come quick enough, if he doesn’t exhaust himself gathering every scrap of information and examining it. He was busy on the Continent last night. He can’t do everything.’

At the mention of her mate’s name, Nesta’s stomach pulled tight. He had not been on the Continent. He had been in her room, comforting her. Azriel had sacrificed a night working to be with her.

‘Let’s go,’ Mor said, holding out an arm.

Nesta stepped forwards. How different they were. She, in her pale blue gown and delicate hands, and Mor with blades strapped to every inch of her body, ruby-red lips on display for battle.

‘What would you know of war?’ Nesta asked, heart racing from her fear.

‘We know plenty,’ Mor replied with a cocky grin. ‘Don’t worry. We know how to handle ourselves.’

Feyre gave a nod. ‘Stay with Amren. You and Elain.’

With that, they were gone.

Despite attempts at trying to focus on the ancient tomes laid out on the table, neither Nesta or Amren could. The latter kept thumbing the rubies around her neck then made an excuse that she was examining Velaris’ wards to have time alone. Nesta found Elain in the garden, quiet and pale. One of the wraiths appeared with tea for them and sandwiches. She didn’t want a single bite, but Azriel’s words from the morning came back to her. She’d eat. He’d wanted her to eat. There was no good in being a worry for him here. She did all the worrying. For him. Feyre. The others.

Elain reached for her hand. ‘The thief will have his head.’

‘Elain?’

‘From the shadows, a blade willingly given. Then his head.’

Nesta clenched her teeth together to keep from crying out. ‘Elain. What do you mean? What is the point in being a seer if nobody understands you?’

Her sister just hummed softly to herself, brown eyes entranced by her cup of tea.

It was an agony. She kept Elain in her room that night although Nesta slept little. Her thoughts were heavy with the people of the Summer Court – and its proximity to the Wall. How had Azriel been holding her in this room only a night earlier and now, Nesta could not say where he was. Bleeding out on a foreign battlefield. If he returned, what then? To be with Azriel was to hold the hand of death. It would go with him everywhere. She had heard what he did for his court; he’d die for it – kill for it. And Nesta would forever worry.

At dawn, she found Amren holding a vigil in the living room. The hazy light seeped through the clouds, casting Velaris in hues of copper.

‘Any word?’

‘No.’

That was all she would say on the matter. In silence, Nesta paced the living room until the sun clambered up into the sky. With no admonishing from Amren, she was free to do it. Indeed, Amren had not touched a book either, but sat with her knees curled to her chest, cat-like and silent. Unperturbed by it all, Elain glided down the stairs. Her hair was twisted from her temples and pinned back. Without a greeting, her sister slipped into a seat in the dining room where one of the wraiths added dishes to the table. It was not the usual massive spread for all of the inner circle’s mouths, but her sister did not seem to notice.

Nesta stared out of the window, willing the world to send her a pair of sprawling wings on the horizon. A sign that Feyre was well too.

Three of them arrived while Nesta paced the foyer. She felt Amren leap up from the chair behind her in greeting.

‘What happened?’

Mud flecked Rhysand’s leathers, but his face had been hurriedly cleaned of grime, the evidence still on his neck. ‘There was a battle. We won.’

‘We know that. What happened with Tarquin?’

At Amren’s question, Morrigan sucked in a breath. Before she could speak, Feyre cut in. ‘Well, he didn’t try to slaughter us on sight, so… things went decently?’

Rhysand shrugged. ‘The royal family remains alive and well. Tarquin’s armada suffered losses, but Cresseida and Varian were unscathed.’

She did not care about the Summer Court. They were names she’d never hear again. Faces she wouldn’t know.

Her mouth pulled thin. If Azriel was injured, she’d see the grief etched on their expressions. ‘Where is he?’

‘Who?’ crooned Rhysand.

Under his stare, she blanched. Her and Azriel had been so meticulous to avoid interacting in front of such nosy eyes. He hadn’t said anything. He wouldn’t. Only Cassian knew through his heavy-handed prodding.

‘Cassian,’ she lied.

With narrowed eyes, Morrigan replied, ‘He’s busy.’

There was such ice in her tone. Such jealousy. Nesta believed it was old news. That was what had been said. Perhaps not for Morrigan. Was this how she would be with Azriel? Threatened that another female grew close to the males that she so fiercely guarded and kept.

Nesta held her stare, not yielding an inch.

Morrigan was the first to look away. ‘When he gets back, keep your forked tongue behind your teeth.’

She was a snake defending her nest. Already, Nesta had visions of the venom that would spill from her when Nesta laid a claim on Azriel. Perhaps she wanted neither male, but she wasn’t prepared to give them up.

‘Mor,’ warned Rhysand. His voice was enough to turn her head. ‘We now leave for the meeting in three days. Send out dispatches to the other High Lords to inform them. And I’m done debating where to meet. Pick a place and be done with it.’

With hardly a blink, Morrigan vanished into thin air. She would be a problem. A big problem.

Feyre went to turn, to likely wash herself and rest, but Nesta took a step forwards. ‘You’re well? Not hurt?’

‘I’m fine. Tired,’ said Feyre, with a longing look towards the staircase.

Rhysand lay a hand on the small of her back to guide her.

‘And Azriel,’ blurted Nesta. Her cheeks scorched. ‘Azriel is safe too?’

Feyre nodded, but it was Rhysand who watched her closely, too intimately to be polite. ‘He’s tying up the loose ends in Summer,’ replied her sister. ‘Cass is in Illyria. Fine for now.’

Nesta stared at the grit beneath her sister’s nails, the grime around her neck where it hadn’t been cleaned properly, the blood staining her boots.

‘You went off into battle. Without a second thought. Why?’

‘Because I had to,’ she replied. ‘Because people needed help.’

***

One day, Azriel would hold his child in his arms and the horrors of war would not clench him so tightly. He’d feel joy and love and forget about the lives he saw ended – the lives that were ended by his scarred hands.

It took the best part of three days to assist in Summer Court and to assist Cassian in Illyria during the aftermath. His brother was better received by the families of the fallen. But Azriel was there for his brother to lean on after speaking with grieving families.

They’d been young – too young – in the last war. Eager to prove themselves, almost excited at the prospect of being heroes. They’d been bolstered by the Blood Rite. Three Carynthians striding into the battlefield together. Until they saw the horrors of it. Despite knowing what to expect now, it was not any easier. He was older, felt the wounds more gravely, knew what they cost, how heavy they were to carry.

He thought often of Nesta. No news from Velaris was good news. After the High Lord meeting in Dawn, he’d steal a moment to hold her. If she let him. If word hadn’t come to her that his failure meant they missed the intel that Summer would be the next victim of Hybern. They’d got there in just enough time. But they should have had more time. If he hadn’t forgotten his duties. Nesta had needed him that night. His mate or his duty. He knew which was more important – and it was not the latter.

‘I don’t think I can fly,’ said Cassian, face thinner from the last few days.

‘I’ll winnow.’

‘Hold my hand tight,’ his brother teased.

Azriel hooked his fingers in Cassian’s collar like he was a mutt and pulled them to the House of Wind. Cassian’s wings splayed out to slow his fall then he landed with a thump. ‘I hate winnowing. It’s not natural.’

‘You say that because you can’t do it.’

They were under pressure with time so he had to cut short his shower although standing under scalding water seemed the best way to spend his morning. Neither of them had bathed properly in days and had only eaten scant amounts here and there. As soon as they had pulled on fresh leathers, Azriel reached for Cassian to winnow back to the Town House.

In the foyer, Rhys was waiting for them. He wore his usual black jacket and pants. He waved a hand to use his magic to polish their siphons. Mor smiled to them both; she wore a gauzy gown of midnight blue with slits up both thighs, exposing her legs as she moved. More panels were cut from it, exposing parts of her midriff and back.

‘Couldn’t you afford the whole dress?’

She stuck up a middle finger at Cassian’s question.

Feyre fiddled with her dress. He recognised it from Starfall, all sheer silk and glittering starlight to embody the light of the Night Court. She touched her hair again then vented at Cassian, ‘What are you staring at?’

His lips twitched. ‘You just look so…’

‘Here we go,’ Mor muttered.

‘Official.’ Cassian said, waving a hand at his high lady. ‘Fancy.’

‘Over five hundred years old,’ Mor said, shaking her head, ‘a skilled warrior and general, famous throughout territories, and complimenting ladies is still something he finds next to impossible. Remind me why we bring you on diplomatic meetings?’

Even his shadows couldn’t hide his chuckle.

‘I don’t see you spouting poetry, brother,’ shot Cassian.

Azriel crossed his arms, smiling faintly. ‘I don’t need to resort to it.’

That was a lie. He’d try every trick in the book for a smile from Nesta.

They fell into a silly camaraderie which helped to lift the weight of the last few days. Cassian leaned over Mor to block her view of the mirror so he could preen instead then he started picking at Feyre’s dress.

‘I thought you were leaving,’ Nesta’s voice cut in from atop the stairs.

It took everything in Azriel not to go to her. The gown she wore reminded him of the darkest depths of the sea. It swirled around her legs as she took the stairs. No adornments were needed, no jewellery, no make-up. She was enough as she was. Beautiful as she was. His heart gave an excited leap when her eyes met his. He felt the bond growing and pulsing as both of their feelings flooded it.

She turned to Feyre. ‘You look beautiful.’

‘That, Cassian, was what you were attempting to say,’ Mor crowed.

A blush dusted Feyre’s cheeks at the compliment. ‘Why are you dressed so nicely? Shouldn’t you be practising with Amren?’

‘I’m going with you.’

#nezriel #nesta archeron #azriel

28 notes · View notes

lb-secret-shh · 3 days

Text

Been thinking about a Rosi fic where he's some type of god and the reader is sacrificed to him and his brother. Most of their sacrifices are of animals and never had a human been sacrificed. However despite this Doflamingo accepts them and upon returning home offers the reader to Rosi as a slave/servant (we know how Doffy views them 😒), seeing as he has none, only a child companion he saved from the brink of death. But he doesn't serve Rosi in the slightest. So Doffy, being as gracious as he is, leaves the reader in his care. Rosi's not sure what to do with them at first but they're very adamant about serving him, having pledged their faith to him before being a sacrifice. He's not used to people doting on him, besides his brother and parents though the former is rather backhanded. He does things for the most part himself. (Side note Doffy obviously has many servants, many of which also pledged themselves to him or were on the brink of death.) The reader basically follows him around like an imprinted duckling, much to little Law's teasing. In addition to not having servants, Rosi also doesn't have any wives or Concubines. Because of this he takes the brunt of Doffys snide comments and his parents pestering of his well being. News flash!! This is also a monster fucker fic because mmmm yeah. So Both Rosi and Doffy have horns and wings and sharp teeths. Rosi's being similar to ravens where they're iridescent black with undertones of purple and reds. And Doffy's being of course a soft pink with intermixed gradation of fuchsia. I'd assume Doffy is a god of wealth? Abundance? Idk. But he's dripping in gold and such. And I feel like Rosi would be a god of life/ rebirth? Love would be an easy one I suppose but other people love seems like he wouldn't feel it's his business. He's like spring, a light and warmth after winter, symbolically, so I figured that'd be a good God for him to be. But idk. Also I like the idea of him growing flowers when he's flustered okay? Its Cute.

But anyway, similar to Law, through time he becomes very close and subsequently protective of them. Oftentimes looming over them slightly and having his wings drape over his shoulders and enshroud them, a little similar to a penguin and its parent. He does this regularly with both of them. His protectiveness harbors a bit of possessiveness when he begins to have feelings towards the reader. It's cute, how extra clumsy he gets when they're around, how little clovers, sprinkled with flowers and clover daisies, grow under his feet when he's walking around thinking of them, how wide he smiles and fluffs his wings when he makes them laugh. However it becomes apparent, more so to those around them, than whenever they're around anyone who might be a romantic threat, or more so in his eyes, a possible mate, Rosinante is looming over them with a menacing aura. This happens partially with Doflamingo's companions, but especially with his brother himself. Doffy has many wives and concubines and has been seen eyeing the reader up occasionally. As well as Doffy loves to feel powerful, and sometimes that means taking things from his little brother to make him feel small. And just the thought of his brother touching them causes his mind to yearn to sink his teeth into their neck marking them as his own. To hold them close as he slides them down onto his thick long cock, eventually knotting in them and filling them with his seed, fucking it back into them, insuring it takes. To have them walk around with their belly round, carrying his children. That their his, all his, and no one could take them away. But he holds back from making any forward movement romantically with them, unsure if they feel the same. Though they would like nothing more than to be loved and filled by Rosinante.

I'm imagining a moment after they become intimate, and are now together, that Doffy makes a flirtatious comment toward them when Rosi isn't looming over them. However he's quickly by their side, squaring up against his brother, to everyone's surprise. There's something almost animalistic to the protective glint in Rosinante's eyes when he looks at his brother then, their wings puffed out and teeth bared. Doffy is the one to cave first, but not without showing he's the one in control. He defuses the tension a bit, claiming it was just a simple flirt but that he's got the message. Then slings an arm around Rosi's shoulder pulling him close and muttering to him something about how he's whipped now. (Can't have Doffy without snide demeaning comment 👍🏻✨).

I may write more thoughts for this after I eat, but we'll seeee~.

#one piece x reader #smut #one piece #donquixote rosinante x reader #donquixote rosinante #donquixote doflamingo #donquixote corazon #DonQuixote Rosinante x reader smut #one piece smut #nsft #18+ mdni #mdni

35 notes · View notes

blinddreams24 · 3 days

Text

Siren

A Mermay Prompt

Masterlist

Prev / Next

Seeing your soul had been weird. Cross apparently had to directly pull your soul out of your chest to give you more direct magic than a monster candy could. It was weird seeing your glowing soul. Cross had explained human souls to you and what their colors meant. It was cool, knowing that your soul reflected yourself.

He hadn’t shown his own soul. He just hovered his hands around your soul and purple magic moved like mist into the little glowing heart.

You had tingled all over, similar to Killer’s candy but not as aggressive. This time you felt alert instead of jittery. Cross explained that it was because of whose magic it was. Killer was an excitable predator, abounding in energy the others didn’t share. Cross was more alert and calm.

You were curious of Horror’s magic.

Over the next week, you had sold all of your stuff and donated the money to various nonprofits you trusted, your diet had slowly changed as you were far more willing to eat what the boys offered you, and your legs had gone from sore to in pain constantly. Horror said that was normal so you didn’t mind.

The day finally came.

You walked down the path to the beach for the last time, wearing only a t-shirt and a skirt.(Yes, a skirt. It wasn’t your idea, Cross warned you not to wear pants for the transition as anything in the way of the legs will cause great discomfort and pain. So you wore a skirt.)

“Oh, look at you! All dolled up, suckerfish? What’s the occasion?” Killer teased and winked between the other two sirens.

“That I brought something.” You smirked, hands behind your back.

Killer got excited. “A surprise?? Let me see!” He started pulling himself up the beach.

Both Cross and Horror stopped him.

“Killer, no. You’ll beach yourself and drown.” Cross lectured.

“You’re just a coward!” Killer grinned.

You spoke up. “Killer, you’ll want to be in the water for this.”

To both Cross and Horror’s amazement, Killer backed up into the water again. “What is it?” His tail kept thrashing in excitement.

You pulled out the frisbee.

“YES!!!!!” He cheered. “Throw it!!!”

You did. Cross and Horror flinched as the water exploded between them and something flew past their heads. They watched Killer expertly swim out, catch the flying disk, and bring it back.

“What is that?” Cross questioned as Killer tossed you the frisbee.

Much to Killer’s dismay, you didn’t throw it again. “It’s a frisbee. I’ll explain later.” You looked around. “So now what.”

Cross turned his attention away from the frisbee. “One of us will take you into open water where you will be given a more powerful dose of magic. The magic not only starts the conversion, but also numbs you to any pain you might feel. One of us just needs to hold you upright until you are officially a siren. Since Killer started the process but I took over feeding you magic, we can’t predict what form your lower half will take. If it had been just me or just Killer, you would turn into the same species as whoever.”

“That makes sense.”

“We’ve decided to let you choose who you want to help you through this last step. But, y/n.” Cross grew serious. “This is it. After this there’s no going back. People on the land will shun and attack you on sight. If you have anything else to do, or if you don’t want to go through with this, this is your last chance.”

You waded into the water. “Perfect. Let’s do this.”

“Hell yeah!” Killer encouraged.

Cross nodded. “Who do you want to take you?”

You looked around. Cross was pushing himself off the beach and into the water, probably for the last time. Horror sat where he was, half on the beach, staring at the ground. And Killer was excitedly trying to grab at the frisbee in your hands. He was the only one that seemed relaxed and cheerful while the others looked stressed. You suspected the aggression from the other day might have something to do with you as neither Cross or Horror could look you or each other in the eyes.

Reaching forward, you placed the frisbee in Cross’s hands. “Can you hold on to this for me?” When he nodded, you turned to Killer. “Killer.” He perked up at his name. “Since you started this, would you like to help me finish it?”

They all froze.

Killer’s eyes went wide and he stammered. “I… you… You want me to…?” He pointed at his chest, his red soul twitching in confusion.

“Yes.” He’d apologized. It was about time you let him know you forgave him.

“Y/n.” Cross said with concern. “Are you sure?”

Killer frowned for half a second before slapping a big grin on his face. “Yeah, suckerfish! Do you really want a shark siren to be the first face you see after converting? Why not Cross? You like Cross.” He gestured dramatically at the larger siren.

You shook your head. “I didn’t ask Cross. Killer, I asked you.”

The same twin stars from that night stargazing lit up his sockets. They shimmered at you before darting towards Cross and going out again. “Whatever you want, suckerfish.” He winked and grabbed your hands to pull you out to sea.

“I’m not losing that nickname, am I?” You sighed.

“Nope~!”

Cross and Horror shared a look of concern but didn’t stop Killer as he dragged you into the water. He took you a quarter of a mile from the shore before stopping and glancing back at the others.

“I, uh… I’m not sure I remember how to do this…” Killer confessed. “Uh, what does Cross do?”

You smiled. “He sends magic directly into my soul. Here.” You focused and summoned your soul. With enough magic and practice, Cross had managed to teach you how to summon your own soul. It was weird but you got used to it easily.

Killer openly stared, his own soul spinning and twisting before it finally settled into an upside down heart. The eyelights were back. “O-Oh. Okay. I remember now. Hold on to me.” He guided your hands to his shoulders.

You held on and tread water as his hands circled your soul. He hesitated.

“You’re sure you want me to do this? No one would question if you wanted Cross or Horror instead.” He almost begged. “I could hurt you if I’m not careful. And we both know I’m not very careful!” He grinned.

You nodded. “I trust you.”

His soul stuttered and his face turned a reddish color. That was all he needed though. Killer immediately sent his own magic into your soul. A lot of it.

The effects were instant, you were filled with so much of the energy that Killer’s magic gave off that you started shaking. If he noticed, he didn’t say anything as his intent spread into you.

Care, want, need.

Your soul responded.

Acceptance, forgiveness, trust.

Killer didn’t falter but spared you a glance. “This’ll be really weird.”

The only thing you knew was you felt an intense need to move, fight, do something! Killer’s hands left your soul to grab your hand and guide you. He started swimming you around in circles, pulling you until you started moving. It was slow at first, getting used to moving when both of your legs had fused together, but it wasn’t too hard after you figured out the proper movements.

Just up and down and up and down.

You started picking up speed. Killer grinned at you as you matched his pace on the water.

“You’re doing great, suckerfish!” He encouraged, before speeding up a little and letting you go. “But it’ll be a while before you’re as fast as me.” He teased.

Taking him up on the challenge, you took a deep breath and dove into the water, speeding past him.

“Hey!”

You startled yourself with a chirp-like whistle that was supposed to be a laugh. But when Killer whistled back at you, you squealed the ticklish noise, no longer bothered by it.

Killer reached to grab and push you around as you raced. You bumped into him back and twirled towards the surface of the water again, following pure instinct.

You burst out of the water completely, a sense of weightlessness hitting you at the peek of your jump, before you fell back in the water.

Overjoyed, you twisted to see that you were, in fact, a dolphin siren. Your whistles and squeals filled the air as the others approached, Cross still holding that frisbee.

“And here I was thinking you’d be an urchin.” Cross teased.

You went to give him a retort but only chirps and squeaks made it out of your mouth. Your hand instinctively went to your throat. Had you lost your voice?

“Oh. Oh stars, I forgot about that.” Cross grinned sheepishly at your confused face. “So, uh, your whole body changed, maybe not so much outwardly but, your lungs had to change to breathe underwater and your vocals had to change to use a siren song. You might not be able to talk for a while…”

You crossed your arms and Killer spoke up for you. “And you didn’t think to mention that before the conversion?”

“I just forgot, okay? I haven’t converted someone before and I forgot.”

Killer grinned when you raised an eyebrow. “Unprofessional.” He said for you with a smug look. You swatted at him.

Cross sighed. “Sorry about that, y/n. You shouldn’t have to deal with this for more than a week but we’ll see. In the meantime.” He offered a hand and a smile to you. “Would you like to meet the others?”

#undertale #mermay 2024 #cross sans #killer sans #horror sans

18 notes · View notes

whumping-valentine · 18 days

Text

Content: Captivity, conditioned whumpee

I wrote this like a year ago back when I first found out about whump and was experimenting with dynamics. Thought I'd make some edits and post it because why not.

~~~

Whumpee was sat in the grass, smiling as the warmth engulfed them. Cool wind was blowing through the leaves of the trees and the strands of their hair, light rain falling against their face like tiny kisses. Birds were singing, chirping and chattering all around as they searched for worms to feed their young. The outside world was so free and open, and Whumpee was grateful to even get a gaze upon it, let alone sit among it.

They looked up at Whumper with wide, grateful eyes, "Thank you for taking me outside." They said sincerely.

"Well, you've been good, haven't you?"

Whumpee wasn't sure what the right response was, "I am not sure, have I?"

"You tell me, what do you think?" Whumper said, crossing their arms as they did a small roll of their eyes, "Why else would you be outside? Yes, of course you've been good."

"Oh— I'm sorry, I didn't—"

"Yeah, yeah. Just because you're apparently stupid doesn't mean you're bad. Enjoy this privilege."

"I will, I'll enjoy it."

"Good for you." They said, uncaring. "I'm going to run inside real quick, and you're going to stay right here until I get back, okay?"

"Yes Sir/Ma'am." (???)

"Good."

As they walked away they turned their head and continued smiling, feeling grateful for the opportunity to be outside. Though now left alone, a terrible realization struck. The smile vanished from their face as they sunk their nails into the dirt.

What am I thinking?! Being outside is a privilege? It's not a privilege! I should be allowed go outside whenever I want! And explore the woods alone! And make my own food, in my own kitchen, whenever I want! Those aren't privileges!

A hit had been taking to their pride as they realized how conditioned they became. It had happened so slowly they couldn't even see what was happening right in front of them. They were blind to it.

All of this niceness isn't because Whumper actually likes or cares for them, it's just so they'll be good and obedient and not cause them any trouble! It's manipulation! How could they be so stupid?! So conditioned?! They were smarter than this, smarter than to fall for manipulation, and yet they still did.

This monster had them doing all these things just to have the privilege to what, eat? Go outside? Not be tortured?!

If they had any sense of dignity left, they would stand up and take off right now. They were alone, they were outside, they were... not free.

It didn't matter if Whumper gave them a key to the outside world and a map to get home. It didn't matter if they opened the door and let them go. Hell, if they told them to go. It didn't even matter if they dropped them off right back in their old bedroom, because they'd still come crawling back to Whumper.

Physical freedom means nothing if your mind is held under lock and key.

And it's just what Whumper wanted.

They've got them.

"Look at you." Whumper cooed as they returned, "Still here. I knew you were too good to run off. I'm so proud of you."

Whumpee felt defeated, and Whumper could see it in their eyes, which just made their next words all the more satisfying to hear

"Why would I go... when I have everything I need right here?"

#this was originally written with Val and Tori but it didn't really fit their dynamic anymore #and there wasn't anything specific about them here #so I just made it a generic whumper/whumpee prompt #also with the sir/ma'am thing does anyone know if there's a gender neutral version of it?#apparently not but like... we have the power to make one up.#whump #whump blog #whump community #whumpblr #whump writing #whump things #whump prompt #whump drabble

44 notes · View notes

worstloki · 1 month

Text

there is a difference between being born to a throne, maliciously vying for a throne, stealing a throne, and having a throne thrust upon you when you are already in the midst of an identity crisis. And I fear Loki's place in the line of succession has people unable to differentiate between any of these

#you can't really argue he planned the extent of Thor's downfall #that was all Odin #Loki didn't force Thor to invade Jotunheim he isn't even the one who gave Thor the idea -- Thor did that all on his own!#that he was doing waswasa @ thor didn't help but wasn't really crime worthy on its own #Thor himself took time convincing the other warriors to be okay with the trip despite the treason and danger involved #like. what. Thor can't differentiate good advice from bad and is emotionally volatile and reckless and that's Loki's fault?#THOR was the one who got them past Heimdall too #the entire ordeal inadvertently showed off the favouritism Thor was receiving in comparison to Loki #even though Loki was the one supposedly so easily influencing Thor to such an extent #call Thor a puppet the way he--wait. no. that sounds weird. uhhhhh #you get the point #people will claim Loki was all up in there rearranging Thor's mental processes to cause his downfall #when really it was Loki doing the bare minimum instigation and watching things only devolve from there #because Thor WAS reckless and immature ?? and he WAS quick to anger and enjoyed exerting his power with violence ??#Loki didn't STEAL THE THRONE FROM THOR he literally just is implied to undermine the coronation #that's not even confirmed but we assume it's true that he let the frost giants in near the casket etc.#Loki has his own actual crimes that he did against Thor and hugging his bro's arm and saying 'you're soooooo strong and correct' was not on #even if you manage to argue Loki was cheering Thor on for the invasion (he wasn't) it was clearly to dob Thor in with Odin #which he did when he had some guard inform Odin #that Odin's chosen punishment was for Thor's disobedience aside stop blaming Loki for the damage ODIN inflicted on him #focus on Loki making up lies to Thor about how Odin died instead like at least Loki DID SOMETHING for that #you can even ascribe as evil a motive as you want there bc Loki was slipping fr #twirling his hair and telling Thor he's smarter about the realm's safety than the king was on the normal scale #you want to talk morals go look at how eager Thor was to invade mass destroy and massacre in the other realm #and expected Odin to 'finish them off! together!' bc he was power high on whatever bloodlust pheromones battle apparently imitates for him #sigh. this is why you can't have nice things Thor. no Loki you're barely any better. sit down. have a cookie.

94 notes · View notes

nostalgia-tblr · 6 months

Text

I watched Avengers: Age of Ultron (apart from I skipped some overly long action sequences) and I am not sure so can someone tell me whether or not Tony Stark was the baddy in that film? Because about halfway through I was sure he was but then it was maybe just an evil robot after all and I am confused because either this film was surprisingly subversive or it was about robots hitting each other.

#I CANT STAND THE CONFUSION IN MY MIND #also i get why people wrote wanda/sylvie. they should go on a wholesome chick-flick revenge-quest together. and also they should kiss.#also i am now only *half* joking about thor being in love with mjolnir #it kept doing Christianity Bits which was quite awks.#not sure why it used the bit about building the church on a rock for some metal i mean wasn't jesus making a pun there? about peter?#i think Vision might be Jesus? or else he's Dr Manhattan who's done a first year philosophy course. could go either way on that tbh.#BUT TONY WAS THE BADDY RIGHT? WAS HE? WAS TONY THE BADDY OR NOT????#with the homocidal glitches in what he thinks is his winning personality?#and all the weapons he's made and is in fact still making but now he only sells them to The Good Guys?#except look how easily they fall out with each other and also don't a lot of innocent bystanders die in their overly long action scenes?#also i need to write fic about whether mjolnir does in fact obey some unknown code that can be cracked if you set your mind to it #she does like Robot Jesus so apparently we can rely on her to make the major decisions from now on #the ending's a bit ominous - apparently someone's collecting those TVA paperweights to do... something? Oh no! :O #yeah i watched the MCU in the wrong order shut up this was inevitable and Marvisney should just embrace that at this point #(i know 'Marvisney' will never catch on but that will not stop me using it)#the loki series ending is but the latest installment of “unlimited power with no oversight is fine as long as the Good people have it”#UNLESS TONY WAS ACTUALLY THE BADDY. WHICH AS I MENTIONED I AM NOT AT ALL CLEAR ON.#maybe what i mean is was tony stark the baddy *on purpose*?#i only picked this one to watch next because tumblr gifsets told me thor wears a nice coat in it #which he does! but only for a small fraction of the film :(#journey into the mcu #the avengers (the marvel ones not the other ones)

44 notes · View notes

loveandthings11 · 1 year

Text

Jeremy Strong for Newsweek, 3/26/23

Not well and unsettled.

"Please, let him get what he wants this time."

So what does satisfy? Love?

#I'm dying inside #gonna throw up and kms before i have to see this not to be dramatic #but i can't deal with this #the complete about-face that is going to happen is hard to even wrap my head around #like he's all teamwork and connected to his siblings and then apparently destroys them #what #I can't even imagine this version of him?!?!#Jeremy said before that Kendall had crossed ethical lines but he was talking about the car accident #so this is something different I am assuming #something ruthless as that one review put it #I can't with this #I love Kendall don't make him like this 😭#Logan-esque like where Logan is at the beginning of this season #has lost everything but so powerful and blah blah #this is the longest tag essay of all time but I am very upset about this #jesse if this is actually where you leave him I hate you #gonna cry #WE WERE PROMISED HOPE- CAN'T GIVE UP YET #kendall roy #jeremy strong #succession #succession season 4 #succession spoilers

78 notes · View notes

steakout-05 · 4 months

Text

so i kinda learned how to draw Captain Picard for my dad's birthday card and i am quite proud of it :D

#captain picard #star trek tng #star trek #picard #jean luc picard #my dad's favourite tng character is captain picard so i thought i'd try to draw him :)#star trek is going to make me excel in the art of drawing old men if tf2 hasn't already......#it legit took ages to learn to draw this man and then this just. kinda happened.#i like how there's all this careful detail on his face and then his little button thingies are completely misaligned and uneven #apparently i can draw detailed sketches of old men but not 4 simple little circles somehow #truly the struggle of being an artist #also i now have immense power and you will see qcard ship art at some point in the future and there is nothing you can do about it #i hope star trek will be real someday #if there is anything humanity's tech should strive towards it should be creating star trek in real life #like build an entire enterprise with all the technology and all #even make it SOUND like star trek #please please please if we ever end up making starships we NEED to make them sound exactly like star trek ships #we need to make data as well #if ai is so good then why isn't data real yet. huh. ever think about that techbros #anyway i realy like this drawing and it's one of my favourite drawings i've done ever :D

17 notes · View notes

floorpancakes · 2 months

Text

this isn't something i noticed for a while cause im a dumbass but i enjoy that watanuki isnt just heavily implied to be a cat but a specific type of cat

he has that specific gold/blue odd eye colouration that's really common in white cats due to specific genes...i used to think the colours were just neat but it's funny that even taking doumekis eye makes him MORE cat coded. doesn't get any more kitty than this

#i read up a little about it and its mostly in white cats or cats w white spotting apparently!#yes just like the cat from that one meme #a cat w heterophobia in its eyes ....#yes i did make a version of that icr wgere it is lol #xxxholic #also apparently it can sometimes cause deafness in kitties?#knew white cats and dogs tend to be deafness prone but i didnt realise it was connected to eye related stuff too sometimes #well the more u know #i used to imagine watanuki would be specifically a black cat and apparently they can have eyes like that #but taking official art into account and stuff i feel like hes more likely to be an all white kitty or a black and white spotty one #imagine the eye arc wraps up and watanuki turns to doumeki and the guy is just like #wow you really are a cat....#and he thwacks him over the head with a lunchbox #forgot we can colour text now #too much power

2 notes · View notes

wekillitwithfire · 9 months

Text

finished reading Hell Bent i thought it was the last book in the series but now i have to sit here with a cliffhanger for god knows how long

#i'll wait #the other miss peregrines' books are one the way ^^#apparently there are four tho and i only ordered the second and third one #i thought it was a trilogy #should i get the fourth one? i had never heard of it until it showed up in my recommended after placing my order #only 300 more thriftbooks points until i supposedly get a free book #also i do have Thoughts on hell bent but i'm not in an extensive review-writing mood #i think i liked ninth house more and it's like #in the first book there was some sense of believeability like. the magic was powerful but subtle #hell bent threw all subtly out the window lmao #and it did lose me a bit there but i like the characters and those moments we get to really see inside of them and their pasts #i eat that up #i think that's the nature of Second Books in a series. they always seem to drift a little away from the characters and more into Big Plot.#the third book can either make or break this. sometimes it gets reigned in in the third book and focuses more on the characters.#and sometimes it does the exact opposite #sorry i just like character-driven stories #perhaps i like looking into other people's brains #'oh noooo the world is falling apart and there's a Big Bad on the loose... okay but tell me about how you're haunted by your past'

2 notes · View notes

alicepao13 · 2 years

Text

Craziest interaction that has happened on this hellsite is that I just got blocked for replying “Sure”.

#I mean...#I sincerely hope that person gets better #I truly can't imagine being in such a bad place that one word would trigger me like that #although because I can't leave it alone apparently lol #'sure' in that particular case meant:#'I have covid and that in combination of me being so tired of my words being taken out of context make me not care to properly reply'#which is why I was using tags in the first place but hey some people just can't let tags go either #I do not back down from my initial argument though #let people enjoy what they want in entertainment #and liking white villains equating to racing is pretty thin considering they mostly make white villains #also that guy is not a white villain he is a white baby emasculated by his mother let him enjoy his cereal and go to bed #we can come back to this when he wakes up in a position of power again #(for legal reasons half of these are jokes and also I still have covid lmao)#*racism not racing wtf #anyway this is why people hate the sw fandom #this and like one million other reasons but this on tumblr #I'll just get back to caring about rex and leave andor alone #doggo + ship of my choice is better content for me either way #relation(ship) > space(ship)#just thought of that lol #if anyone considers the above as character analysis then bummer for you #if I wanted to write character analysis I'd do it properly #end of unhinged text

3 notes · View notes

foldingfittedsheets · 5 months

Text

Buckle up for another unhinged story time. Now, as I’ve said before, I used to work at a sex shop. At one point I had three roommates and we all worked the same dildo slinging retail job and lived together. It was extremely sitcom.

Now, as you’d imagine, living with three other people who also talked about sex toys all day created a microcosm of people who were all extremely comfortable around sex toys and related topics. No one left dirty toys laying around but seeing things left in showers or showing off a new purchase was just a Tuesday.

After some life upheavals I ended up living with one of those roommates again, just me and her. For the sake of this story let’s call her Betty. Betty and I shared a two bedroom, and the layout was all the common spaces were an open floor plan and then one hallway formed a T, with my room and bathroom to the left and Betty’s to the right.

Well, one day my cousin calls me up. He’s coming to town for a visit and I offer to put up him, his wife, and their more… sheltered friend. (Unbeknownst to me there was a full Briefing for this girl before she met me so that I didn’t overwhelm her with my blasé attitudes towards- well, most things).

They drove in from two states over and it was a long drive. I had to work and couldn’t greet them or spend the first day together. So I told them to come grab my key so they could all shower off and settle in before me.

I arrived home later that night and found the atmosphere a little awkward at first. Things quickly warmed up and I charmed their friend, impressing my cousin with my immaculate respect for personal comfort levels. We had a lovely evening. By the time we all said goodnight I’d dismissed the initial tension as being tired after a long drive.

The next day we all decided to go to the zoo. I’m a morning shower person, but I let them go first while I made breakfast. After breakfast it was my turn and I hopped in the shower.

Midway through my eyes fixed on it. A little pink sex toy, sitting brazenly on the rim of the tub. Oh no, I thought. This was why things had been awkward yesterday! I left out a personal object because I’d literally forgotten to ever put them away by that point.

What I felt wasn’t embarrassment per se, because that emotion had been utterly eradicated by that point. Rather it was a deep shame that I’d leave out something that might make a guest feel uncomfortable. They told me their friend was sheltered and I had left out a sex toy, it was the epitome of rudeness!

I rejoined everyone and said, “I am so sorry! I didn’t realize I’d left that in the shower, that was so rude of me!”

My guests all exchanged a Look. I looked from my cousin to his wife, she glanced toward their friend, and their friend looked at my cousin. No one would look at me.

“Well…” my cousin finally said, “you didn’t tell us which room was yours yesterday.”

I blinked in confusion, Betty’s room and bathroom were basically just like mine.

“When we got here,” his wife continued, “we went to the other side first. In Betty’s bathroom.”

Reader, Betty’s bathroom.

Had been absolutely covered in dildos. Sex toys of all shapes and sizes covered every flat surface, the tub rim, the sink, the shelves. Wall to wall sex toys. Apparently Betty was doing a spring cleaning and had left her entire extensive collection out to air dry.

These three weary travelers had opened a door to the dildo dimension and had no idea how to react. To this day I have no idea what context clues they used to figure out Betty’s room from mine.

But when I’d come home they were lost in the sex toy shell shock, presumably wondering how they could ever talk about it with someone who felt it was okay to leave out every sex toy they own when expecting company in some kind of bizarre power play.

By the time they finished telling me about this we were all laughing so hard we were in tears.

“When we saw your bathroom with one little pink toy it was so discreet we didn’t even care!” They told me.

After my cousin and his crew had gone on their way I finally told Betty the whole story. She listened with eyes growing wider and wider and finally burst out, “That’s why they were so weird when I got home!!”

#ramblies #funny #story #writing #nsft #ffs foibles

29K notes · View notes

respectissexy · 1 year

Text

If you are not on Twitter but are interested in what's going on with Elon Musk's Twitter, never fear, I am back as your Twitter Correspondent.

So, on Thursday, 4/20, Elon removed all the "legacy verified" blue checks. That means that if you are, say, Taylor Swift or the Pope, and you have a blue checkmark because you have proven you identity and want to avoid being impersonated, that check mark went away unless you paid the $8 to subscribe to Twitter Blue.

The assumption was clearly that, despite all their blustering, when push came to shove the power users would nut up and pay for it, if only to avoid their fans being scammed using their likeness.

That didn't happen. As of 4/21, only weirdo Elon stans had blue checks. Those stans immediately got mad, because they had intended to purchase access to an exclusive club, and all the cool kids left as soon as they arrived.

To make matters worse for Elon, several influential shitposters began posting about #BlockTheBlue, a movement to block all paid Twitter bluechecks, and some even released scripts that would automatically block all bluecheck accounts for you.

However, some people retained their blue checks who swore they hadn't paid for them -- in particular, Stephen King and LeBron James, who had tweeted that they would refuse to pay.

Elon admitted that he had paid for these users' blue checks out of his own pocket. Is he trolling? Is it a weird simp move? Hard to say.

Now, as of 4/22, a whole mess of famous people have bluechecks who aren't paying for them. This seems to be a move to confound the automated Block The Blue scripts. Lil Nas X is tweeting angrily about how he doesn't want his blue check. People are speculating that a new policy has been silently rolled out to automatically assign a blue check to every user with over 1 million followers. Several people have pointed out that this amounts to false endorsement, i.e. implying falsely that a notable person uses or endorses your product without their permission, which is a crime. Blue checks have been posthumously assigned to Anthony Bourdain and Terry Pratchett, whose estates my money is on to be the ones to actually sue.

dril, famous shitposter and Block The Blue promoter, keeps being assigned a blue check as an apparent punishment for crossing Elon, but you can lose your blue check by changing your display name. (It seems really wild to tie the blue check to the display name and not use the username, but it became necessary after the era where all those legacy verified folks unleashed their inner Jaboukie and changed their display names to Elon Musk. As recently as last month a legacy verified user with 100k followers got banned for impersonating JK Rowling apologizing to trans people.) So dril just keeps changing his display name every time they bluecheck him. Elon and dril have been engaged in this game of cat and mouse all day. The "Elon bans dril and we all throw trash at him like New Yorkers defending spiderman" meme will probably come to fruition today or tomorrow.

#Twitter #Elon Musk #twitanic #most of you probably followed me for d20 stuff and didn't know I was a Twitter Refugee #I'm in great company (Chuck Tingle is a Twitter refugee as well)

72K notes · View notes

joycrispy · 9 months

Text

I wanna talk about The Angel Who Would Be Crowley.

Because I had a certain set of expectations, which got thoroughly trashed in the first five minutes of S2, and my genuine response is, "Oh, fuck, yup. You're right. That's WAY better."

Looking around at GO fandom, I'm not alone in this. So let's talk about it.

Basically, a lot of people (myself included) believed that he was a high-ranking angel, and therefore as chilly and remote as every other powerful angel we'd seen at that point. We pictured Crowley-To-Be as long-haired, regal and imposing --and the fanart at the time reflected this. I'd link some if Tumblr didn't hate links.

Something like this:

We were collectively drawing on a few things --mostly, Crawly's appearance and general bearing in the Biblical scenes of S1--

--But also scattered hints of his importance, backed up by conspicuous absences in Heaven and a few profound displays of power. That's all better covered elsewhere, so I won't reiterate the arguments here. All I'm saying is: I think our headcanons were justified.

But it turns out he was this:

!!!

With his curly little--!!

And his neat white--!!

IT TURNS OUT, he was an angel who squeaked and squealed when he was happy; who flailed his arms around and made explosion noises with his mouth to explain nebulas; who preened when told his stars were pretty. Furfur, who knew him before the Fall, says:

"You used to jump on me back, little monkey in a waistcoat..."

(The use of a diminutive there, 'little'...oh, that fascinates me.)

In a pretty huge subversion of expectations, we're given these glimpses of an angel who was sweet, and joyful, and heart-meltingly silly.

In sum...an innocent.

(Perhaps innocent to a troubling degree.

We see how he troubles Aziraphale, during their first conversation. He starts looking around and behind them, checking to make sure that no one can HEAR the blithe and reckless things coming out of this angel's mouth. This angel who talks like he's never been reprimanded in his life; like it's never occurred to him that anyone would want to hurt him.

Before the Beginning, Aziraphale understood Heaven better than he did. The danger is plainly occurring to Aziraphale.)

So now, we the viewers are in on a cruel joke that Aziraphale has known all along, which is that this --THIS-- is the angel who--

*checks notes*

--did a million lightyear freestyle dive into a boiling pool of sulphur. For asking questions.

...Imagine you are Aziraphale, and everything inside you wants to believe Heaven are the Good Guys, and God is Good and Everything She does is capital-R Right...and now try to reconcile that. Keep trying. I don't think he ever totally managed it in 6000 years.

All this gets further complicated when we learn that, despite all of the above, we were still right. That sweet excitable babby up there?

He WAS a powerful and high-ranking angel.

That much is explicitly confirmed, with significant evidence that he could have been among the mightiest of archangels...

...Who apparently accosted his fellow angels for piggyback rides. And was remembered millennia later by those (now fallen) angels as something 'little.'

What does that tell us about who he was? Is?

Hell, Aziraphale has known to be wary of the archangels (and the judgements of Heaven in general) since before the Fall even happened. He chooses to believe they are Good; he can't fool himself into thinking they are Safe.

Yet he's absolutely certain that Crowley won't hurt Job's children. Enough to stand in a burning building and say to them, "I can't save you, but don't be afraid. I won't need to."

And what reason does he give?

("I know you."

"You do not know me."

"I know the angel you were.")

What does that tell us about who he was? Is?

("The angel you knew is not me."

But how is Aziraphale supposed to believe that, when he can see him all the time?)

tl;dr --yes, this is better. I love the tragedy of it.

'Innocence died screaming' and all that.

#good omens #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #Crowley #Aziraphale #good omens 2 #good omens meta

13K notes · View notes

screeching-bunny · 5 months

Text

Yandere! Game Show Host Hcs

Warnings: Obsessive Behavior, Yandere Thoughts, Bad Writing, Stalking, Possessive Behavior, Reader is Referred as ‘You’

A/N: I saw this request and was like this is such a cool request but what if we made him an evil game show host. Like one that would put contestants in deadly scenarios.

🌟 Yandere! Game Show Host who kidnaps all of the contestants and forces them to play this twisted game that he created for money. Don’t worry though, he rigged the entire game to be in your favor. It was discreet enough for the viewers not to really care but apparent enough for you to notice the favoritism. Did you care? Hell no!! As long as you were getting paid you and survived this whole ordeal could give a rats ass about what happened next. Even when you do manage to get certain questions wrong, he will just brush it off and pretend that it was just a warm up question. The contestants are definitely seething whenever they see this happening.

🌟 Yandere! Game Show Host is a psychopath by nature. In each round, he presents the contestants with morally ambiguous dilemmas, enticing them with promises of grand rewards while dangling the threat of dire consequences for failure. Whether it's forcing them to choose between betraying a fellow contestant or facing a treacherous obstacle, he revels in their anguish, relishing the psychological torment he inflicts.

🌟 Yandere! Game Show Host is doing everything in his power to make sure that you win the game. He can’t have his poor baby feeling upset if they fail to win the grand prize. He would absolutely give out the most insane questions that practically no one knows the answer to. The punishment for getting a few questions wrong is mutilation of certain body parts and if you get too many questions wrong then you’ll end up being sent to your death. While everyone is basically being tortured in their punishments, he’d never allow that to happen to you. At most he’d probably just flick your forehead and call it a day. I imagine that most of the people watching the show are people who paid for the contestants to be kidnapped and be brought there against their wishes. Everyone who is put onto his show is a horrible person, including yourself, and have done something to be warranted to be there.

🌟 Yandere! Game Show Host bends all the rules of the game for you, providing subtle hints or covert assistance to ensure your safety. Although he has a strong desire to see others in pain and suffering, his love for you is stronger. At first justifies these actions as preserving the "entertainment value" of the show, but deep down, he's driven by an inexplicable desire to protect you.

🌟 Yandere! Game Show Host would baby you during your time there. He’d make a fuss whenever you tried to do anything remotely dangerous or touch some blood. I could totally see him using a baby voice to try to convince you to stop what you're doing. He has no shame, and everyone is looking at him with utter disbelief/confusion on their faces.

Yandere! Game Show Host: “Oh No! Please don’t go over there! You might slip from all the blood on the ground! Come here let me carry you across.”

Viewers: “…”

The contestant with their leg cut off: “…”

🌟 Yandere! Game Show Host thrives on the power he wields over his contestants, reveling in their suffering as they navigate his challenges. As the game progresses, his demeanor grows more twisted, enjoying the contestants' internal conflicts and emotional turmoil. He taunts them with mocking laughter, reveling in their discomfort and manipulating their decisions to heighten the drama. God forbid that you manage to develop a crush on someone while you are there. He’d absolutely lose it and do everything in his power to crush them. You best believe that he’s going to keep them alive for as long as possible and give them the worst punishments known to man.

🌟 Yandere! Game Show Host has cameras everywhere and when it's time for the contestants to rest for the night he’s going to be observing you. He’s a loser who doesn’t really know how to act around you without becoming a mess. In his spare time, he likes to just watch you through the cameras and imagine himself right next to you. He’s absolutely delulu about your feelings towards him and believes that you feel the same way. Even when you do manage to win this fucked up game, he’s not letting you go. There’s no way that he’s letting you leave after you managed to steal his heart. After this is all over, he’s taking you to his house and locking you there.

🌟 Yandere! Game Show Host holds pride in knowing how many people are at the mercy of his hand. Has a minor God complex and has this skewed mindset about how everyone else is beneath him besides you. Believes that you were made just for him and that you're his one true love. Would rather die than give you up or allow anyone to “take you away from him”. He’s like an annoying roach and almost impossible to get rid of. He’s making sure to stay with you for as long as possible.

—

Yandere! Game Show Host strides onto the stage with a wicked gaze, his piercing gaze fixed on the contestants. His voice, a chilling blend of charm and malice, booms through the speakers as he welcomes the participants with a mocking flourish. Thom who were strapped onto a table with heavy objects over their heads.

Yandere! Game Show Host: “Alright contestant number one, what is the mass of the Sun divided by Planck's constant in nanometers.

Contestant One: “HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT!?!?!”

Yandere! Game Show Host: “Unfortunately, that's not the correct answer. You’ll now be facing the consequences.” In a matter of seconds, the heavy object comes flying down with alarming speed. Upon impact, it mercilessly crushes against their skull, unleashing an overwhelming and unimaginable force that distorts bone and flesh. Yandere! Game Show Host then makes his way towards you and begins to speak.

Yandere! Game Show Host: “Alright, it's your turn now. No pressure, I know you’ll do great just take your time. Okay what’s 1 + 1?”

You: “2.”

Yandere! Game Show Host: "Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever done before, unafraid to reference or not reference, put it in a blender, shit on it, vomit on it, eat it, give birth to it."

Other Contestants: “What the hell!?!? How is this fair!?!!

#yandere #yandere headcanons #yandere imagines #yandere x y/n #yandere x you #yandere scenarios #yandere x darling #yandere x reader #male yandere #yandere game show host

5K notes · View notes