#anyway so I made this becuase that makes me feel things

[yuri-is-online]

Head up this ask is kinda weird.

So do you think people wear perfume in omegaverse AUs 😀? Because the fact that everyone already has scents, perfume has to kind if clash with it right? Maybe some people use light perfumes to enhance their scents, and then those "Alpha Male" (omg that just gets a whole other meaning) podcast bros call it catfishing.

Would perfume even exist in the first place? I don't really see a purpose for perfume if everyone already has a scent... but bro imagine Yuu (who isn't from an a/b/o world and is getting really confused as to what the fuck an omega is and cringes every time of the guys calls themselves an alpha. Meanwhile everyone else is trying to figure out why this weirdo doesn't even have the slightest sent. Especially jade becuase I'm on that JadeYuu shit rn) that wears perfume or cologne trying to get more. And when they can't find any at Sam's they just try to fucking make it. I mean it's a little weak smelling and some of the notes don't exactly go with the others but hey! They have something to spritz now! :)

And now their friends are doing double takes because bro you did not smell like that last night. Also it smells artificial and it's weirding them out

Anyways I sincerely apologize for making you read that.

oh no you don't go apologizing for this confused, a/b/o is a guilty pleasure of mine (also i am doing concept drawings for asmodeaus rn. the timing of this ask made me laugh real hard) This isn't a smutty ask, but just so all of you know, I am good with those since I need the practice with suggestive stuff. I just won't be very good at it for a bit.

Anyway. I have never actually thought about this, but I have always sort of thought of scents in abo worlds to be a very instinctual thing that no amount of perfume can cover up. I don't know if you've ever encountered a scent you can taste but I have, a light in the room of a pool I was swimming in went out and let out a smoke so foul you could still feel it on your tongue and in your lungs when you pinched your nose. It was beyond overwhelming. That doesn't mean there's any less of a reason for perfumes to exist though, as I talked about in that post about Rollo's handkerchief in the past disease was thought to have been spread through foul smelling odors and bad air. If anything I could see that being an even bigger superstition in an abo world where scent is already super important. I could see people trying to make scents that complimented their natural one, maybe it could even be a courting ritual for an Alpha to give an Omega they are interested in a perfume they've made that compliments their smell and has notes of their own... Oh! Or working in notes of their scent to their own perfume to indicate interest!

a-twistedheartslonging mentioned in their tags on that post about Jade's scent that Morays use scents to attract a mate, so if you take that idea about perfume being a courting step I could see Jade just being so distraught that his beloved pearl has no discernible scent. And what's worse they keep changing what little scent they do have! What's he supposed to do with that huh? I think he'd be the only one excited by Yuu making their own perfume because it gives him an excuse to talk about the scents that Yuu likes and what perfumes are like in their world. Maybe they could make a perfume together next time (⚈_⚈)? Oh haha he's just thinking out loud he knows you aren't close enough for that ye- Oh you... you would like that? You think he smells nice and you want to know what sort of perfume or cologne he uses?

(he'd get so delulu so fast if you said that. sure Yuu you can smell just like him c: just let him dim the lights a bit first he hears that's important c: just remember to be gentle with him ok???)

#<3 asks #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #jadeyuu #jade leech x reader #suggestive #i might #haveabitofabreed1ngk1nksouh #ilikeabostuff #shootmepls #a/b/o dynamics

[blood-injections]

Goodnight.

#“out here your shadow lives on without you’ in a postapocalyptic world. #you can’t tell me that line isn’t about the shadows of people left behind after they’ve been caught in a nuclear blast #anyway so I made this becuase that makes me feel things #goodnite dr death #danger days #my chemical romance #ttlotfk #mcr danger days #the true lives of the fabulous killjoys #the fabulous killjoys #the zones #mcr edit #killjoys #danger days art #corvids art

[fair-lead]

auug i cant seem to think at all today.

#i have an essay outline due tomorrow n i havent even decided on a topic #im trying to formulate a thesis rn but its just!!! smoke coming out of my ears!!!!!! #ugh #like okay its a sort of compare-contrast thing w/ some poems #specifically how these poems are using different aspects of poetry (imagery setting tone diction meter rhyme etc) to comment on their #subjects. so lik.e okay. thats alright #i was gonna do it on the carpe diem poems but i think im gonna do it onthe war poems instead #the carpe diem ones are donne's the flea and marvells uhhh coy mistress one #and i Think there's an argument to be made on appeals of logic vs emotion. and how each speaker views their listener. but idk how to make i #the war poems are komunyakaa's facing it and owen's dulce et decorum est. and i dont feel really confident w/ komunyakaa's poem #but i think that it might be easier to formulate an argument bc despite sharing a subject the poems are WILDLY different #one is like this meditative introspection anad one is like 'DONT FUCKING DO WAR JESUS CHRIST' #owen's poem is downright wretched w/ the diction tone and imagery #in a way thats super different from komunyakaa's. owen's is like.. posed to shock the reader? to make a point? #idk i think im gonna look up some analyses of komunyakaa's and read those #becuase the last line especially is really tripping me up. #anyways. okay #cae speaks

[avianyuh]

S.Coups/Choi Seungcheol as a boyfriend

He would be so much fun

I think he'd love to go out to different restaurants with you

Or take you to the studio and have you hear his lyrics

Maybe even take you to the gym with him lol

You'd be Kkuma's other parent

Most likely, you'd watch over Kkuma while he was away on tour

Anyways, Cheol would be so protective over you

He's like that with the boys, so imagine being his partner

You ARE his baby

Somebody messed with you?

You will frequently be hearing, "Do I have to make a visit to someone?"

You're cold?

"Take my jacket! Do you want me to look for a nearby store, I'll buy you a new one?"

"No Cheol, I'm fine"

"No I really will, I'm ordering one right now for next time"

This man!

Most likely, he'd introduce you to either Jeonghan, Shua or Woozi first.

Reason I say Woozi is becuase they've known each other for so long, I'm sure he values Woozi's opinion

But with Seungcheol, I don't think he needs his members opinion when it comes to you

Mainly because he'd only introduce you to the members if he was serious about you

So I see him confiding in those three in the early stages of your relationship, not really when he's sure of you

When you're in the car, he drives with one hand, so his other hand is placed on your thigh

UGH

It's so hot

And no this is not made up, I have photo evidence that this man drives with one hand

Shexy Shtuff

Defo the type to 'wait it out' lmao

He wouldn't want you to feel used or anything

So during the first year, even if YOU wanted to have sex, he'd probably be like, "Uh, let's just wait"

I think he'd want to fully get to know you first

But when he feels like you're completely committed to him and vice versa

It's all free real estate

GIRL-

Woo

He's a switch

I said what I said

Yeah, he's a total daddy dom

But I think Seungcheol would like to be taken care of sometimes

Probably more submissive when he's tired but still in the mood for sex

And like I said, once he's committed, free real estate

This man will come home horny

Constantly ready to go

Especially after the gym when he's all sweaty

You jump him every time he comes home from the gym

Back to regularly scheduled programming:

He wants kids, and loves to talk about your future

How many kids you want

When you should start your family

One of his favorites things to do in your relationship is lay in bed, your head on his chest, him caressing your hair, staring up at the ceiling

And just talking about the future

What you both want in life

It's his way of making your relationship feel like you're still in the honeymoon phase.

Anyways...

Cheol would be a committed man to you

Gives the sweetest kisses

The type to kiss you all over your face when he sees you

Hypes you up with everything you do

Awkward and adroable

Choi Seungcheol,

SVT's dad

Your daddy ;)

~~~

{A/N; I told y'all I would write the coups headcanon. I literally cried watching him give the acceptance speech at MAMA lol, he looks like he's recovering well! BTW, if you have any requests, plz send them in, it seems like I only get BTS requests? Funny cuz I used to only get NCT requests and now it's completely switched. I kinda miss my NCT requests lol, if you have anything you want plz send it in! I've also been writing for some second gen idols (not published yet)

second gen idol fics are lacking on tumblr for some reason?...but that's another story

Anyways hope you enjoyed, mwah💋}

#scoups #seventeen #seventeen reactions #seventeen headcanons #svt #svt as boyfriends #svt x reader #svt fluff #svt imagines #svt smut #svt fanfic #choi seungcheol

[simplyavatrice]

I think it's easy to forget just exactly what Ava went through. She was SEVEN years old and woke up in strange place, with cranky old nuns, only to find out she was paralyzed and that her mom had died. Not only that, but no other member of her family ever came for her. Nobody was looking for her, nobody wanted her and suddenly she's all alone and dealing with the loss of her mothre and her independence.

You'd think, oh well maybe she has a support system in the orphanage? Nope, they treat her like shit, like the burden she believes she is. As someone who has been in a wheelchair their whole life, let me tell you, feeling like a burden is an everyday thing. You’re not, and having people who remind you that you’re not and make you understand that you’re not is beautiful, but Ava didn’t have that. She had Sister Frances, who went out of her way to tell Ava she was worthless and I doubt anyone else there was much better.

So it's no wonder Ava was a sarcastic, snarky little shit to the nuns in the orphanage - they made her that way. Being bratty to them was the only thing she could do to feel some semblance of control.

Flash forward to Ava's death, where she was literally murdered because nobody cared and there was nowhere for her to go. Ava spent twelve years in a personal hell of being trapped in her own body, was then killed like someone taking out the garbage. Empty, alone and tossed aside.

So when she was revived by the halo, with her legs suddenly working and freedom to do whatever she wanted, of COURSE she wanted to be free.

That's the entirety of Ava's character arc - SHE WANTS TO LIVE! She hasn't been able to for so long she barely remembers how to do it.

It's not that easy, of course, the halo carries a ton of weight and Ava fights it and runs from it and resists it as much as she can, and who can blame her? She finally gets the chance to be alive, to be free and enjoy life and all these strangers (who are everywhere becuase Ava is completely alone in the world) are pushing and pulling her in every direction. She's constantly told that she doesn't deserve the halo. Doesn't deserve this chance.

Despite ALL of that, Ava's heart is strong and her passion for life overshadows all the darkness she's been dealt. She isn't just full of life, but love. She's spent years not having anyone to love her, but more than that, she's never been able to give anyone her love and I think that's very important to her. We see it so much as the show goes on. Her softness with Mother Superion when she finds her halo scar, and the way she connects with Mary, Camila being sweet to her, little things like that.

Then of course there's Bea.

Beatrice, who never sees Ava as someone that needs to be replaced, but as someone who can be taught, trained and shaped into what they need. Who sees that Ava, the human being, has value and that she's worth protecting. They connect and share and for the first time, Ava has someone who actually accepts her as a person. Not a burden or a vessel for the halo, but Ava Silva, the girl inside that's been so alone for so long.

I think that's why Ava is so bouncy with Bea, falls for her so easily, because Beatrice saw Ava's zest for life and her need for love and embraced it. Saw it as something worth fighting for, beyond the halo or duty, Beatrice liked HER. Probably the first person who felt that way since her mother was taken from her (outside of Diego, but he was so young it couldn't have been the same).

Anyway, this long winded post that probably doesn't make any sense is just my way of saying that I love Ava. I love her joy and her humor. I love that she has had so much pain dumped on her and still chooses to smile. Given the way she was treated and the power she was given, Ava could have been a villain. She could have carried a hatred for god or the world and everyone in it who forgot about her but she didn't. Instead, she found the life and love she desperately wanted and gave up everything to protect it.

#ava silva #avatrice #warrior nun #this is my long overdue ava silva appreciation post #sometimes you just find characters that hit different and she's that for me #i'm not sure i'll find one i enjoy more than her #save warrior nun #alba baptista #she deserves all the awards for her performance of ava #she's INCREDIBLE

[deadeyedfae]

Did you know this little artist just hit 700 followers? It feels like everytime I finish doing a competition I hit another milestone 😅 well this time I don't have too much to show off but I've got a selfie I absolutely love from today! (got misgendered looking like this somehow!) and I've got a little behind the scenes thing to show off!

So anyway! Bts last week I was having a little bit of imposter syndrome with my art, I was way too in my head about how my art is unique but maybe to my detriment, like my Bunnies are too strange (I know they might be but tbh I'm also strange and if they are a relefection of me like all art is then they have to be strange as well and I'll love them for it 😊) so the time I though 'well maybe I should try and make my stand in more generic, so people will like my art!" and I made this! Thing is as soon as I was done with this very cursed bit of art I realised my art is my art, I make it for me and if anyone genuinely likes it then that's amazing but I'm not drawing to be popular, I'm drawing becuase it's fun! So the Dead Eyed Bunnies are here to stay 💜💜💜 thank you all for your support you lovely little things!!!

Fae 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

#transgender #queer artist #transfem #small artist #artists of tumblr #lgbtq #furry #lgbtqia artist #selfie #redraws

[dexiiexox]

Boyfriend headcanons for Chris Sturniolo🧡

a/n: here is the Chris version no one asked for but that I give you anyway 🤗 becuase Chris deserves the love tooo💕

Chris Sturniolo x reader

warnings: none I think?

summary: again just headcanons I imagine for Chris :))👍

SORRY FOR ANY SPELLING MISTAKES❕

————————————————————————

Unless you live under a fucking rock or you’re a new fan of the triplets, we aaaalllll know Chris is a pepsiholic by now

And with that I feel like he would automaticly decide that you are too, so I can 100% just imagine Chris bringing or buying you a pepsi everytime he gets one as well

You’re sitting on the couch watching a movie with Chris. He’d gotten up a few minutes ago to use the restroom, on the way back he stopped by the fridge, pulling out two cans of pepsi.

"Heads up" he said about halfway to the couch.

I turned my head towards him and a pepsi was tossed at me. I had enough time to react and caught it.

"Thanks" I smiled.

He slouched down beside me again, arm over my shoulder and popped open his drink.

(Sorry if you dont like pepsi😌🫶)

I think we all know Chris is a hugger, even though he’s stated that he is "a handshake guy"

But come oonnn, we all know he loves his hugs, he constantly hugs Nick and Matt, so of course he’s going to hug is lovely girlfriend!

He’ll just constantly hug you, whenever he sees you, before you leave, when you’ve made him food, bought him a present, payed for him when you were out, anything, he’ll hug you whenever, just becuase he can, doesnt need to be a reason. If Chris wants a hug, Chris gets a hug.

It was a late night and you had joined the triplets for a late drive. They were bored and Chris natrually asked if you wanted to join them. You of course said yes, any excuse to spend more time with Chris, you really enjoyed the company of Matt and Nick as well.

You guys had been driving around for a while, just talking about anything that came to mind, you had gotten some food and later on made your way back to their apartment. Nick said his goodnights and went to his room, Matt did the same not long after.

You went over to the sink and got yourself a glass of water. You turned around leaning on the counter, looking back at Chris just standing there looking back at you. The two of you locked eyes and he sighed lowly. He looked really tired.

"You alright Chris?" you asked with a hint of concern in your voice.

He slowly made his way over to you, replying to your question with a simple «mhm».

You put your glass down as he stopped right in front of you. He just simply wraped his arms around you and held you tight. You hugged him back and let your head rest on his shoulder.

Sometimes all he needed was just a hug, and you knew that was something you needed as well

I just know Chris would take everything you say to him very seriously.

We all know he loves to joke around and being all silly, but he would genuenly listen to you and really take in what you tell him.

Wether it’s a concern of yours, something you have on your mind, whenever you remind him of things he needs to do or thing he has planned, he always takes you very seriously.

But of course he still loved to joke around with you, I imagine him loving to tickle you if you are ticklish.

Just having silly arguments and playfights that end with him tickling you.

"Noo Chris, not at all" you laughed.

You were sat on his bed while he sat at his desk. It was another one of your guyses arguments, nothing heated, just making fun of each other and trying to piss eachother off.

He looked at you with a wierd expression.

"Ehmm yeahh!" he exclaimed.

You just laughed at him again. You held your stomach and fell back on his bed, small giggles leaving your lips. You heard him chuckle and get out of his chair.

"We’ll see who laughs in the end!" and before you knew it he jumped on the bed and tackled you. He was now stradling you, his smirk growing wide.

Before you got to react Chris was going OFF, tickling you everywhere. All you could do was try to get him off, using your hands to push him off, squirming underneath him. You we’re laughing uncontrorably, trying to catch your breath.

"Stop! Stop! Stop Chris! Stop!" you kept pleading with him to stop and he eventually did. You let out a few more giggles while cathcing your breath, and so did he, before he layed down beside you.

"You’re such an asshole" you laughed.

"You still love me" he said still smirking.

I just shook my head letting out an airy chuckle.

I feel like pet names are huge with Chris, but not just the regular «babe, baby, sweetheart» and those, but more mocking ones

You’d call eachother things like «idiot, stupid, fucker, dummy» just stuff like that

Neither of you get offended by it though, you both know it’s just jokes

However, protective Chris would appear the fucking millisecond he hears someone else call you names like that

No one gets to speak badly about you, you’re the most precious thing to him! How could anyone even be remotly close to say negative about you. To him you are an absolute angel!💕

Chris had been out with Nick and Matt, meeting some new people they met through social media, two girls and a guy. They were all influencers as well and seemed to enjoy a lot of the same things as the triplets, so they decided to link up.

However, as the night went on he made himself some remarks of things they said and did. He never pointed them out, everyone has their quirks, he just found them kind of odd.

Regardless of that though, they all carried on with their night and talking about diffirent things. He’d mentioned you a couple of times during their conversations and stories. Both him and his brothers had taken notice of the others making slight faces at the mention of your name and seeming somewhat unintrested in the conversation as soon as you were brought up. The three of them had decided to ignore it though.

They all decided to find a place to eat, so they stopped by a restaurant and sat down in a booth.

The three friends had all decided to go to the bathroom, so the triplets sat waiting for a little while until Chris realised he need to go as well.

He walked towards the bathrooms, but he slowed down as he heard hushed voices in one of the hallways. He took a peek around the corner and saw the three friends talking.

He usually wouldnt snoop around like this and listen in on others conversations, but for some reason he did.

"I know right!" one of the girls giggled.

"She seems like such a fucking idiot, have you seen her?" they guy stated.

Chris made a confused face, he was about to leave until he heard his name.

"For real though, how is Chris even dating her?"

His jaw dropped to the fucking floor and he was instantly filled with rage. They didnt even know you, let alone talked to you before and they dare put shame to your name? Oh hell no. Chris didnt even want to give them the time of day. He just went back to Nick and Matt, explained the situation briefly, and they were out of there.

Later that night he sendt the three of them a message, no threats, nothing like that, but just stating how rude it was and how he found their behaviour unexceptable, then he unfollowed them all, so did Nick and Matt.

Chris never had the heart to tell you about the situation though, he just made sure to compliment you a lot, kiss you and hug you extra much after that.

He wants to make sure you know that you’re loved and that you are more than enough for him💕

————————————————————————

Well that was all I had right now, I also have school tomorrow, so Im going to bed in not too long. I hope you enjoyed it though! :))

And again, I hope youve had a good day or night and dont forget that youre absolutely worth it!! <3

-dexiie💕

#christopher sturniolo x reader #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo triplets imagines #christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #sturniolo #chris sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo fanfic

[danses-with-dogmeat]

I love love love how you write! The little details you add into your reacts are amazing <3 I was hoping to ask if you haven't done so yet, what would the romanced companions say in their own version of the "Hi Honey" holo tape? It could be them making their own tape for any reason or to replace the one the SoSu's spouse made becuase it was destroyed or buried with them, it doesnt matter, just thought that would help the angst/comfort factor 😅 have a good day, love <3

Fallout 4 Companions' Versions of the "Hi, Honey" Tape

Okay, I adore this <3

It's a.... bit more angsty than I meant it to be, but it's all happy and fluffy underneath, so, you know... kinda my forte 😅 And also some of them are... more romanced than others, as you'll see, so just a heads up on that. Anyways, I hope you enjoy!

Also, I tried kind of a different format for this one, almost like you're reading the subtitles/script for the holotape, so hopefully the unique format makes this one interesting 😁

Oh, and just a quick TW for mention of suicidal thoughts/actions!

Cait:

"Oi, ya fucking-- Does this damn thing even work?"

*exasperated noise*

"Alright. There, I think that's done it."

*muffled adjusting*

"Okay."

*sigh*

"Hey. Sole... I uh, I don't really know how to tell ya everything I'd like to... Before I go through with this, you know. I'm not sure what's goin te happen, but I wanted you to know one thing before I go inte that machine, since... I don't know, I might not come back out as meself. Or, or even at all."

*deep breath*

"I just, in case somethin' happens, I want ya te know..."

(pause)

"I love ya."

*short chuckle*

"I know, sounds strange comin' from me, I'm sure, but... It's the truth. I do, and I have, for a bit, but... I'm not really sure why it took me this long te tell ya. Maybe cuz I was scared. Scared that I'd scare ya away."

*Huff of breath*

"Me? Scared? I know how it sounds, trust me, but it's true. I was... worried about losin' ya. Cuz, truth is, Sole, yer the first person who actually seems to give a damn what happens te me. You know this, I've told ya, I know, but even me own damn parents didn't give a shite about me. An' the ghoul, well, he only ever considered what I could do for him. Knew how to keep me hooked, to keep makin' him money. But you... I had my doubts, I'll be the first to admit, but... You've looked out fer me better than anyone, and you did from the start, with nothin' to gain by doin' so."

(pause)

"I don't know why ye did it. Almost scared me off, the thought of someone bein kind te me fer no reason at all. Thought you were gonna end up worse than all the rest, because there was no way you were just bein' that nice with nothin' te gain from it. But I was wrong. And I've never been so damn glad te be wrong in me whole life."

(pause)

*Deep breath*

"An' I want ye t'know one more thing... I knew about this machine. I knew about it a bit ago. I could've gone with someone else, could've gone on me own, even. Maybe I wouldn't have made it out alive, but it didn't really matter te me at the time. And neither did gettin' clean. I told you I'd been trying to get sober for awhile, but nothin' was workin', and that wasn't a lie, but... Before you, I didn't really want te get clean. There was just..."

(pause)

"There was no point to it. Get clean fer what? I didn't want to feel anythin'. Well, anythin' but the rush of psycho. Couldn't feel anything if I was off it, I was so damn numb to the whole world... But you... you changed that. Somewhere along the way, when I was with you, I felt... somethin' else. I want te feel that again, but I want te feel it all. No psycho, no nothin'. Just you. And I'm hopin' you feel the same, but if you don't... It doesn't matter too much. I just... I wanted you te know."

(pause)

*huff of air*

"So there. I said what I meant to. You heard it. An' whether or not ye feel the same, I... I just hope it means somethin' to ya."

*click*

Curie:

"My love! Look at what I 'ave found! Or... Listen to it, rather."

*giggling*

"But isn't zhis wonderful? I can now tell you 'ow much I love you! Zhough, I do suppose I say it quite often... Still, what better day zhan zhis? I know zhere are many who no longer observe zhis holiday, but it is our first one together and I wanted to do something special. I thought of many possible zhings to gift you, since I feel as zhough I simply could not give you enough!"

*laughter*

"But zhen... I settled on zhis idea... I want you to listen to zhis recording, any time you are not feeling at your best, when I am not around to help you, or whenever else you feel like it, even when I am in zhe room next to you, you will have zhis at your disposal."

"I just want you to know 'ow much I care for you. You are zhe one who saved me, who made me not feel so alone in zhis new world, who helped me not to be afraid. I was afraid, mon amour, you remember. I was afraid to go out on my own, so you stayed close to my side, I was afraid I could never follow my dreams, zhat I could not become who I am today, afraid I would never be able to be with you, to feel all zhat I do when you are near and beside me. I would not be myself without you, I would still be in zhat 'orrible vault, would still be afraid and alone..."

(pause)

"But I am not, and it is thanks to you. You are... zhe most beautiful person I have ever come into contact with. The kindest, the most loving, zhe gentlest, and you are zhe one I love, when I did not know I was capable of such feeling! You made it so, my lovely Sole, and I could not be more grateful to share all zhese new-- all zhese so very human experiences with you. I love you, vers la lune et retour."

*giggles*

"It is amazing zhat I can say such things and mean zhem! I had heard about love, had read about it, and knew of zhe chemicals and such, but to feel it, to say zhese things, to know why I'm saying zhem, who is making me feel zhem, it is a wonderful feeling, mon cheri/e."

(pause)

"Oh!"

*shuffling paper noises*

"And I almost forgot! Comme c'est drôle de moi... I have a poem to read to you! It is one I read from a novel long ago, I had to dig to find it, to make sure it was correct. I did not understand it zhen, not as much as I do now, but now, it is all zhe more beautiful."

*clears throat*

"Je dédie à tes pleurs, à ton sourire,

Mes plus douces pensées,

Celle que je te dis, celles aussi

Qui demeurent imprécisées

Et trop profondes pour les dire"

"I can translate as well! Do not worry! It just sounds so belle en François. What it means is, zhat I dedicate my sweetest thoughts to both your tears and your smiles, all of my thoughts, zhe ones zhat I say to you, and zhe ones I 'ave no words for, zhat are too imprecise. Even zhose thoughts zhat are so deep zhat you cannot say zhem aloud, even zhose go to you, mon amour. I dedicate so much to you, because you 'ave given me so very much since zhe day you and I met. It does seem rather small in comparison, just zhis little poem, after all you 'ave done, but it is zhe truth. I love you so much, my Sole. 'Appy Valentines day."

"Love, Curie."

Danse:

*clears throat*

"I know I'm not very good at these sort of talks in person, and... I'm honestly not sure it'll be any better through this tape. But I feel like I have to try."

"I'm... Well, let me just preface this by saying that I'm sorry for what happened today. You weren't meant to... Well, let's just say that I should've thrown that tape recording away a long time ago. That same day that I recorded it, even. And if it's any consolation, I never paid the contents of it any further mind after our talk at the Bunker. When I think of it now, I..."

*deep sigh*

"Knowing what I do now, what was to come... I can't believe I would've just... Just ended it."

(pause)

"Everything was so jumbled then. After I found out what I was, I felt so lost. My existence, without the Brotherhood, it felt so... purposeless. The words on that tape... they just helped me get everything off my mind. Helped me feel like there was a way out of all that uncertainty, as rash as it may seem in hindsight."

"Then you appeared below the surface. Even with all my defenses... I don't even know why I put them up, if I was just planning to...

*sigh*

"It's not a day I like to remember."

"You are what made it bearable. Not just that day, not just my... whole self discovery, but everything. Without you, I wouldn't have only been dead, but I would have been lost. Everything I truly believe in, all that I've worked for... I felt like less than nothing when it was all stripped away. Along with my identity. My personhood. But these past couple years... you've built me up again. You've made me into something-- someone I can be proud of. Helped me make the difference I thought could only be achieved through the Brotherhood, and I don't know how I'll ever be able to thank you for all that you've given me."

"My life, my belief in myself, the courage to move on when I felt I had nothing, that I was nothing... But I was wrong. I was always wrong. I never had nothing, not even on my darkest days, when I wished beyond reason that I could crawl out of my own synthetic skin. Even on those days, I still had you."

"The day that you confessed your feelings to me was the first day that I began to question a few of the core beliefs of the Brotherhood. With the overwhelming strength and certainty of my own feelings for you, I wondered how the Brotherhood could ever consider me-- my kind, to be soulless abominations. Every day my feelings of fondness for you grow stronger, and every day I stray away from the belief that I'm nothing but a mere machine. I never could've done that without you."

"Ever since the day I met you, I've felt like... somehow, our fates have been tied to one another. Like I was always meant to know you. And it might be strange, to phrase it that way, to think that some... higher power pulled the strings in such a way to ensure our meeting, our friendship, o-our love, but if it hadn't turned out that way... that tape I made would be in the Brotherhood archives, and I would be..."

*exhale*

"I just hope that my presence in your life has yielded even a fraction of the happiness, security and support that you provide me with. If so, it'll all have been worth it."

"I hope what I said on this tape doesn't make you uncomfortable, I-I know the subject matter is quite upsetting, but if I can offer further consolation, the tape in question no longer exists. I erased it, in favor of this message. I thought it would be... symbolic. The way our love for one another, and my dedication to you has erased the negative feelings I had for myself, that almost drove me to complete ruin. I apologize again for what you heard on that tape, and it pains me to know you felt guilt for not being able to do more after my... self discovery. The truth is, Sole, you were the only thing standing between me and the ending that that tape promised for my life, and I could never find a way to thank you for all that you've done for me."

"I love you, Sole. More than I thought could ever be possible, even before finding out that I was a synth."

(pause)

*clears throat*

"Anyway, that was what I felt I had to say. I know it was long winded, and I... well, I never know quite how to end these conversations, but I suppose it's worth saying it again. Thank you, Sole. For giving me my life back. The rest of it belongs to you."

Deacon:

"Csssshhhhk this is your captain speaking, yeah, we're gonna be traveling at around fifty eight thousand feet in a minute here, so just wanted to tell you to get comfortable, drop those trays, get out those peanuts, oxygen masks, space suits, and--"

*muffled laughter*

"No, but anyway... Hey Sole, it's ah, it's me. You're favorite crimefighting deathbunny, and partner in all things inappropriate. I... just wanted to make this... I know we don't have the same type of job security or workers' compensation from before the big booms, so just y'know, like an insurance policy, especially now that there's all this added paperwork with our little developing relationship status, it just felt important, y'know? Another record to dust off one day. And... I wanted to be sure you could always have a way to hear my lovely voice, my bad jokes, my flawless singing, you know, just in case... I know how much you'd miss it."

*sighs*

"Look, I... I know it hasn't always been easy, everything you've been through, to add all my problems to the pile. The trust issues, the compulsive lying, those pesky little intimacy problems that make things extra fun, and... I could go on, but I'm afraid the tape would run out of space."

"I guess, what I'm trying to say is... Thanks. Sole. You're everything I needed and never deserved or expected. I had this plan, this idea of what the rest of my life would be like, and you just--"

*breaks into laughter*

"You just waltzed right into those catacombs and blew those ideas to smithereens. Shot 'em down with your charm and your selflessness and good looks, and man... I didn't stand a chance. I can't believe you chose me. You coulda had anybody. Even Carrington, if you kept at it, but you chose to love me, even with how... difficult it must've been-- must be..."

"I still don't know why you did it, but I've never been more grateful in my life. You're my partner in crime, my fellow deathbunny, my bestie, and now you're my husband/wife?! ... It's crazy. Crazy awesome, and I... I never thought I'd tread that kind of path again, not with anyone, and I wouldn't have... if it weren't for you."

"Ahh, you. You're just... The best, and I love you. I know I don't say it enough, and when I do, I don't sound serious. But no matter how uncomfy it makes me feel to say it aloud, it's true. I love you, Sole."

(pause)

"But alright, bestie, I've gotta go. I'm about to have the best sleepover of my life, with this awesome person, I'm sure you know them, and I'm really feeling like I'm gonna get lucky. You can't see it, but I just winked at you. Anyways, wish me luck, and I'll... I'll see you in the field."

"Deathbunny out."

Gage:

“Hiya there boss… It’s…”

*under his breath* “I hope this damn thing is even recording.”

*snorts*

 “But, it’s me. Jus’ wanted to say some stuff…"

*sighs*

“Look, it’s tough for me, I’m sure you know it more than most, but, it’s tough for me to reach out like this. I never… Well, you know this too Sole, but, I never done this sorta thing before. With the relationship and the… I don’t know, man, the arguments. Before, well, fights like this usually meant the end of things, but you said that ain’t how it’s supposed to be. We’re supposed to work through this shit, somehow, and so I… I guess I figured I’d start with this.” 

*deep breath*

“I’m sorry. Sole. There, okay? I’m sorry for bein’ an asshole, for not givin’ you enough credit, not remembering that yer new to this whole raider thing, this whole Overboss thing. And that… well, you’ve probably never been with someone like me before. I sure as hell’ve never been with somebody like you, but… What can I say? It’s hard to find folks like you out here anyhow. You’re your own breed, boss. And that’s far from a bad thing. Jus’... Well, you know me. If you’re your own breed, I’m a goddamn mutt. I’m rough around the edges, not used to tryin’ to make things work. I’ve solved a hell of a lot more problems with my knife than I have with my words, but… I wanna… Well, I wanna make things work this time ‘round, boss… Sole… I mean, you know how I feel about ya, and I… I ain’t never had anything like this, and I just don’t know how I got along so long without you, cuz… Well, Sole, cuz you just make everything better.”

(pause)

“I mean… my life’s not worth a whole lot, that ain’t no mystery or nothin’, but when yer in it… It feels like somethin’ worth having. Not like the rest of my life, oh… stumblin’ around looking for scraps of quick fixes that could make me forget how little my life really means, but… having something worth holding onto, worth bein’ around for… that’s what it’s like with you.”

*dry chuckle*

“And to think, I was stupid enough to think that one little argument was worth losing all this over. Worth losing the only thing in my life that really makes it worthwhile. Cuz that’s what you are, baby. That’s what you are to me. Even though I don’t say it a whole lot… It don’t mean that I… That I don’t mean it, you know?”

*sigh*

“I can’t be the easiest to get along with, I’m sure. I’m so damn hard-headed most of the time, and I always act like I know what I’m talking about, which… Well, you know that usually ain’t the truth.”

*chuckles*

“But somehow you got the patience for all this. All my shit. And… I may not always be the sharpest knife in the drawer, or whatever the saying is, but I know what I got with you. I know what you’re worth, baby, and it’s more than I got, and I know you bein’ with me at all is a charity, but… Well dammit, I hope I got some worth to you too, cuz I just… I need you now, Sole. I wanna be worth the headache and the patience, and I wanna work through the fights and learn how to make it up to you. I never had this before… I never felt this way about no one. I don’t wanna lose it. I can’t… lose you. Things jus’, well, they just wouldn’t be the same…” 

*deep sigh*

“I know I’m going ‘round in circles a bit here, but you know apologies ain’t really my strong suit. An’ neither is all this mushy stuff, but I’m trying all right? I’m trying for you. And I’m gonna keep on doing that until you tell me you can’t stand it no more. It’s just the kinda reckless, hard-headed, stubborn fool I am, Sole. Gonna keep telling you how you changed it all for me, how you’re so damn incredible it makes my chest hurt, how I… Well dammit. Guess I’ve gotta say it now, huh? Look, there. You did it boss, you got it out of me. Damn near slipped out before I could even catch it too. Nasty little words, but… It’s never been truer. I love you Sole.”

(pause)

*comical sigh*

“And while we’re at it, might as well say I’m sorry again, too. There. You got both outta me. Got it all. There’s nothing left for you to take, baby, all my cards just out on the table like that and I forgot how to fucking bluff.” 

*soft chuckle*

“Nah, but… I mean it, Sole. I ain’t nothin’ without you. Next time we fight, just pull this shit outta your pocket and I’ll shut right up, I promise. And… If I’m ever not sayin’ all that… All that I should, if I’m being an ass like I do sometimes, just listen to this while I’m off sulkin’ somewhere. Cuz it’s true. It’s all true, and no amount of me bein’ pissy or stubborn is gonna change that... Is gonna change the fact that… Well, dammit, I do, I love you, Sole.”

(pause)

“Greedy bastard, you’ve gotten it outta me twice now, so you should be all caught up for awhile… Just don’t use it against me too often, okay? Don’t abuse this shit, or you definitely ain’t gonna hear it as much, I’ll tell ya that.”

*chuckles*

 “Alright, don’t know when this thing is gonna run outta tape, but it’s bound to be close. I’ll, ah, I’ll see ya soon, baby.”

*click*

Hancock:

"Heya, Sunshine. It's, ah, it's me. I know it hasn't been all that long since we've seen each other, and I know you're busy. Hard being the hero all the time, hard being the best person there is in the Commonwealth, I get it. But I wanted to tell ya, that... I miss you. I miss you when we're not together, from the moment I see you leave through the Goodneighbor gate, I'm already turning to tell you how much I'm gonna miss you, before I realize that you're gone. That's how bad it is, sweetheart, I-I talk to you even when you're not here."

*chuckles*

"Maybe it's cuz I'm a little nuts, or something, I don't know. Either way though, when I'm alone like this, jus'... thinking about you, I wish I had a way to hear that pretty voice o' yours. So, I thought we could make somethin' like this. Just a reminder, that I'm thinkin' about ya, I'm wishin' you were here, even though I know it's important that you're away."

*sighs*

"Still doesn't change that I want you back here by my side. Or to be out there with you. Kickin' ass. Making a difference. Watchin' you in action, if you know what I mean, heh. Yeah."

(pause)

"Damn this hurts. I get it. I do. I know you have to be out there. I know I can't go everywhere with you all the time, an' I don't mean to make you feel bad, baby, not at all. Jus' want you to know. Know how much it affects me when you're not here."

*sniffles*

*forced chuckle*

"Fahrenheit even notices. Says I'm no fun when you're not around anymore. She's had to drag me outta bed a few times this week... Yeah."

*shaky breath*

"Sorry 'bout this, Sunshine. Sorry if it doesn't make much sense. Brain's kinda foggy right now. I don't mean to make ya feel bad, you know? Jus'... just wanted you to know."

(pause)

"Shit, already said that, huh? Damn, it's just, it's true. I miss you, I love you, baby, and I want you with me all the time."

*muffled* "Oh Jesus. What are you doing?"

"Nothin,' Fare, go on."

*Fahrenheit* "Who are you talking to?"

"Sole. Now go on. Not done yet."

*Fahrenheit* "Sole? Hancock, Sole's not--"

"I know. Leaving a message for 'em. When they are here."

*sigh*

*door closing*

"Jesus. See? Goin' crazy over here, with her hoverin' over me. Need you, baby."

"Now... what was I sayin'?"

*laughter*

"Sorry it's so all over the place. This is what you do to me."

*a breath*

"There's just one thing I'm gonna ask from you, baby. You can go, I know you've gotta sometimes, just... come back. Alright, Sunshine? Come back to me. Do what you gotta do, but just know, now, that I've got you. You're part of the package. The coat, the hat, my whole look, the talk, my title, everything that makes me, me, now you're in that. I can't--"

*sniffles*

"I can't be without ya. Not for good, ya hear? So all I gotta know, is that you're gonna come back to me. Just... Try and think about that when you're out there on your own. Don't take the risk if you don't have to. You're good, baby. The most selfless person I ever met, and I love that about you, but... don't make the sacrifice, okay? I know I'm bein' selfish, but I ain't a saint like you, so I'd say it's pretty on-brand."

*soft chuckle*

"Just don't... Jus' come back to me. That's all I'm saying. It's all I need, okay, baby? Just need you..."

*sigh*

"Think I should probably let you go now, huh? So you can get back to bein' a badass, an' all that. Just one more thing though, before you set this tape aside... I love you, Sole. Just need you to know that, if you haven't listened to anything else on this tape, just know that. I love you, and... I'll see you soon."

MacCready:

"Geeze I hope this thing works..."

*fiddling noises*

"How do you even know if it's recording? Is that...? Hmm."

(pause)

"Okay. Well, here goes nothing."

*Clears throat*

"Hey, Sole. I, ah, I hope this works, because I've got a few things I wanted to... um, say. Wow, geeze, really off to a good start here, huh? I just hope this dang thing is even recording."

*chuckle*

"But if it is... Well, I just wanted to say... thanks."

*soft sigh*

"Truth is, I wouldn't even be doing this if it weren't for you. Maybe one day, yeah, it was always the plan to go back to Duncan, to be with him, but... I never thought I'd be bringing him back to a family. It was... one of the reasons I think I was putting it off. I mean, what do I have to offer? As a dad I-I'm doing my best, but... Is it enough? Will he be lonely with just me? Can I look after him as well as I want to, as well as he deserves? Is he going to be happy, with just me? And maybe he was, and I worried for nothing, but... With you, the decision was so much easier. And..."

*deep breath*

"Well, without your help, I... I might not even have been able to ask those questions. Duncan might not have... You know."

(pause)

"But you helped me. Even when you barely even knew me."

*laughter*

"I didn't think there was anyone like you out there, who would just help me, and not expect anything in return, I didn't think I'd ever find someone out there worthwhile. I mean, after the Gunners, well, they made it hard to see the good in the world, and even when I met you, I know I was... Well, I was a bit of an ass, huh?"

*chuckles*

"But that didn't seem to phase you. No... I don't think anything I could've done would have scared you away for good, once you saw how badly I needed you."

"And that's why I love you so much, Sole. You put other people before you, and you don't expect a damn thing in return, and it's so... Gosh, it's so weird that you do that, I've never met anyone like that, and I've never met anyone like you, and I didn't think, honestly... I never thought I'd be able to fall for someone again, after everything, but... I never saw you coming. And I mean... I'm a sniper. So I've got good eyes, you know."

*breaks into laughter*

"Sorry for that one. Sort of. But I can see that face, without you even being here, I can see that amused but... disappointed look you give me when I make those bad jokes. Those 'dad jokes' as you call them."

*more chuckling*

"I love you so much, baby. I didn't think I'd ever be able to say those words again. To say those words and-and mean them, but I can. And... I know you felt the same way, about loving again, after everything you've lost, but... I'm glad you found me. In that dingy old underground bar, where I almost got my butt whooped by those Gunner clowns, where I was spending all my hard-earned caps trying to drown out my problems... You pulled me out of that, and probably saved my life... No, you did save it, cuz without you, if I'd lost Duncan too, I just... Yeah, I wouldn't have been able to go on much longer if I didn't have him. If I didn't have you."

*sniffs*

"But he's going to be..."

*laughs*

"Just so excited to meet you, I mean, I've told you about him, he's just so adventurous and playful, and even when he couldn't talk at all, he loved meeting new people, and he's- god, he's gonna love you. And I'm gonna have my work cut out for me, cuz, I mean... you think I'm cute? Just wait, I mean, I'm never gonna see you again, you're just gonna want to run off with him and leave me behind, I mean-- his eyes, Sole, they're so blue, and his little cheeks, and gosh, there's nothing I love more than him... than you, too, and the thought of you two together? Heck, I don't know what I'm gonna do with myself, I'm not going to be able to handle it all. To handle... for the first time in so long, being actually... happy. Being part of a family again..."

*exhale*

"You know... I think you know that it... It makes me nervous. To be so happy. To have so much to lose, but... I know that you know what that's like. And I just- I just can't wait for us all to be a part of it. No matter how scary it is, or how strange it'll feel to have it again, to have a family, but have it be different, but... I'm so glad it's with you. And I just... I can't wait to see you, baby. Can't wait for you to see him."

*a breath*

"Just promise me... promise me you won't... leave."

*sniffs*

"...That you won't run off with Duncan and leave me behind. I promise, there's enough of him for both of us i-if we ration, you know?"

*teary laughter*

"We can share him, just... Just stay safe, for me, Sole, okay? I don't want-- I can't lose... I just... can't do this alone."

*deep breath*

"But, ah, anyway, I'll see you soon, okay Sole? I'll see you when I-- when we get back. I love you, and the next time we're together... we'll be a proper family."

Nick:

"Hey there, Sole. It's ah, it's your Nick here. Just wanted to make somethin' for ya, to help get you through these next few... days, maybe. I know this isn't gonna be easy, but I want you to know, I'm proud of you. You did it. You made it where no one thought you ever could, and hopefully, it pays off."

*low sigh*

"God, I hope it does. If there's anyone out there who deserves it, it's you. But we both know it doesn't always work that way..."

*exhale*

"No matter what happens in there though, I'm here for you. Always, alright? I don't mean that lightly, Sole. I've helped you come this far... even when it really didn't seem like you needed my help."

*chuckle*

"I mean it was you who saved me first, right?"

*more laughter*

*small sigh*

"Anyway, guess what I'm really saying here, Sole, is that... I want it to go right. I want you to find your boy, I want you, more than anything, to be happy. You've been through so much, more than anyone should have to go through, and I want you to be able to rest, to have the family you wanted, that you deserve, or, part of that family, at least. You're one of the best damn people I've met in all my years, and no matter how this all goes, I'll be by your side to help you face it."

(pause)

"You know... I'm not really sure why you picked me, if I'm honest, Sole. I'm just a rusty old synth, but... I'm a rusty old synth who's... in love with you. Who wants, more than most anything, for you to just be happy. And if I can have some part in making that happen, well, then I guess I shouldn't really question it, huh? But who am I kidding? I'm a detective, it's in my nature to question unlikely things."

*small chuckle*

"Well, guess I've rambled on here quite a bit, but I wanted you to have something. For when you're in there, so you remember that you're not alone. You've got good friends out here, so many people who care about you, who are rootin' for ya. Me, most of all. No matter what happens, we're all proud of how far you've come. No one even thought this would be possible, but since the day I met you, I've been realizing that the word 'impossible' really isn't in your vocabulary, huh? Who would've thought some pre-war vaulty would get as far as you did? Well, you did, and you really showed anyone who thought differently. It's one of the, oh, couple dozen or so things I love about you, darling. You always show those that need showing, always right the wrongs around you, even when some would argue it ain't your business. But you show those folks too, don't ya?"

*chuckles*

"You're just a whole lotta something, there, Sole. I never met anyone like ya, and there's no one else I could think of who could get through everything you've survived. You'll get through this too, I know it. And... I don't know, maybe I'm just losin' a few screws or something, but I believe you're gonna find your boy in there... But no matter what happens in the Institute, just know you got people out here waitin' for ya. Wishin' ya the best. Wishin' for ya to make it back home to us. We all love ya, Sole. And me? I love ya most of all."

"Yours, Nick."

Piper:

"Come on, come onnnn."

*Nat speaking indiscernably*

"That did it? You think?"

*Nat* "Yes."

"Oh. Okay. Geesh, this is why I just wanted to write a letter or something, but Nat said I should... cuz of the tape that you lost, and what it meant to you, and hearing my voice and-- Geeze, already rambling. So unlike me, huh?"

*laughter*

"Uh, anyways, um... Hey. Blue."

*more laughter*

"Who let me do this? This is awful. I wanna just talk straight to you, you know? See that cute little face of yours, that embarrassed smile with the way your eyes crinkle. The face you're probably making right now. Eh? Did I getcha? Are you making that face? Bet you are."

*giggling*

"I guess I know you pretty well by now, huh? Four years, Blue. Four! I don't know how I've put up with you all that time, but also, I... I don't really know what I would've done without you. That day we met... I think back on it all the time. How perfect everything had to be for us to meet like that, to get that great first impression. It always makes me laugh, the way we still give Danny a hard time about it, blaming him whenever we have those silly little arguments, just so we can't blame each other. I wonder if other couples do that? If they have a sort of scapegoat for their silly little..."

(pause)

"Okay, yeah, getting off topic. The reason I made this, well, this tape recording, that I wanted to be a note, that I probably could've just said straight to your face, was so I could just say... thanks. I know I tell you a lot how much you mean to me, but, I also think you always need to hear it. You've been through so much, lived through multiple lifetimes... you really were-- and are, the story of the century, Blue. You're incredible, and strong, and goofy, and absolutely adorable, if I do say so myself."

*giggles*

"Ahem, anyways, um... Where was I?... Oh! Yeah, you're..."

*quick breath*

"You're a great leader, and you could do anything you set your mind to, I mean really, once you've lived over two hundred years, learned how to fight giant monster lizards, how to cure super mutants, travel through someone's brain, and even teleport, I think the sky is hardly the limit."

*more soft laughter*

"Yeah... I knew I'd get just a little off topic, but when it all comes down to it, there's really only one thing you need to know, Blue."

"I love you. And I'm so grateful to have you in my life and as my partner in everything, and though these past few years have been like... the best of my life, I think the future holds a lot for us. Keep being strong, keep being you, and I'll be right here, cheering you on, loving you. Like I have from the start."

(pause)

"Oh, and Nat'll be here too. Rolling her eyes. Scrunching her face when we kiss in front of her and pretending to barf, but... she'll be loving you too. Won't you, sis?"

*Noncommittal noise*

"See? She agrees. Love ya, Blue. See you soon."

(pause)

*whispered* "Which one do I press to stop it? Which one? Oh. Oh, okay, I see--"

*click*

Preston:

"Sole? Hey. It's Preston."

*light chuckle*

"But you could probably guess that, huh? Yeah, well, I just wanted to say a few things. So you have them, so we do, for later, and everything... I'm just... Where to even start with you?"

*a breath*

"You're just... so amazing. You have been, since the day I met you, and every day since. You've taken everything the Commonwealth throws at you, and you've turned it into something beautiful. Something we can help grow, help to make this world a better place. And... you've given me hope."

*light laughter*

"It sounds so simplified when I put it like that, but it's not."

*soft sigh*

"I had no hope, before I met you. It was gone, and I just felt... hollow, but now I see all of the amazing possibilities for the world, for you and me, and the Minutemen. I never would've made it this far without you, and what we're doing now? This big adventure we're taking together? I know... I know you've been there before. That you... had a family before, and I know the way it turned out, and I can't imagine how difficult it is to look past that, and to try again. But... I want you to know I'm here for you. I always will be, just like you were there for me, when I needed you most."

"I want this for us, and you're... God, Sole, you're just so strong to want this too, so brave, and selfless, and-- and you just see the possibilities in life and you go for them, and I love that about you."

"Even just saying all this, it has me smiling from ear to ear. Just thinking about you does that to me, babe. I couldn't tell you the last time I smiled like this before I met you. I don't think I even could, to tell you the truth, but now... I mean, my cheeks hurt. Just thinking about seeing you after this mission, thinking about our talk, about us... settling down... Yeah, it's gonna be tough. Like you said, it's hard to get me to stay in one place, but you like to wander a whole lot too, you know."

*laughing*

"But I don't think I've been more ready, more excited for anything in my life. I love you so much, I almost can't believe it sometimes, but then I see you, and I... Well, I can believe it, because you're just that good. That perfect, that kind and loving, and selfless, and I just can't believe that out of all the other people in this world, I was lucky enough to meet you, and somehow, you wanted to be with me too."

(pause)

"I think I might've told you this already. At least once, but just in case, I'm gonna tell you again... Sole. I loved you from the moment I saw you. I... I couldn't believe it."

*laughter*

"I thought it was crazy, thought I lost my mind or something, but it was true. As soon as you came into my life, I was ready to pledge mine to you. I-I was in love. And as unbelievable as it seemed at the time, so soon after meeting you, that's never changed. And I'm betting that it never will."

"I love you, Sole. So much, and I can't wait to see you back here, and I can't wait to make that pledge all over again, can't wait to start our family, and... And god, I'm so excited to see you, I can't even sit still, I just--"

*muffled voice*

"What? Now?"

*sound of confirmation*

"Already? But I thought--"

*Annoyed sound getting further away*

"No, hold on, I'm coming!"

"Sturges says you're here."

"You're... you're home. You're home early..."

*disbelieving laughter*

"I'm gonna go and see you. Now. Right now, I've gotta--"

*muffled rustling noise*

"I'm gonna go. Sort of. I love you Sole, see you soon!"

X6-88:

"Sole... Ma'am/Sir. This is X6-88. I..."

*small sigh*

"I would like to extend my condolences to you. Your son... I wish you could have known him as I did. As so many of us did, as you never had the chance to. It is unfortunate, but... What I said, before, when I told you that I believe in you... It was not a lie, sir/ma'am. I do believe, fully, that you are meant to take his place, that you will do incredible things for The Institute."

"To be honest, I'm not sure why I felt the urge to record this message for you, but... Perhaps it's because I feel... that you should be able to hear this, to listen to this tape if ever you feel... inadequate, or... alone. You are neither, sir/ma'am, I assure you."

(pause)

"And I also... I know what it's like. To feel that way."

"Perfection is something that's required in every unit that is created to be a courser. It's something hardwired into us, and so is our aptitude for solitude, and yet... Either there is great fault with my programming, or you were enough to bypass all of it altogether. I've never felt less... Well, perhaps not less perfect, but I've never felt... more..."

*quietly*

"Human, than when I'm with you."

"It is not by my own conscious decision, but all of my defenses seem to lower when you are at my side. I've spoken so outwardly with you, I've... laughed, which is something I never knew I was capable of doing. I've come to despise being alone completely. Or... perhaps not alone, but more... without you. It makes my chest feel tight, and my thoughts wander to your safety whenever I'm not by your side. I'm not... I'm not quite sure why I feel so differently about you than I do anyone else I've met, why you elicit these reactions and thoughts, but I do know that they are enough for me to believe you are... exceptional."

*soft exhale*

"There is no one more capable, or better suited to leading us. No one who has had the influence over me that you do. Not Ayo, not Father, not even the... infuriatingly endearing young Shaun."

*short laugh*

"None of them... and yet you, from the beginning, have surprised me. Your prowess in combat, your amusing commentary, your strange empathy and searing wit... It all took me by surprise. Which isn't easy, I'll have you know. I'm a courser after all."

*muted chuckle*

(pause)

"I'm a courser... And yet, you've always treated me like an... an equal. Not a machine, or a weapon, not something to fear or to order around without regard for my own preferences, my own... conscience. It's something I never thought that I would find to be a virtue. Not something that's ever mattered to me, and yet, now... Now anyone who's not you, everyone here who disregards me the way they always have... It tries my patience."

(pause)

"I blame you, for that, sir/ma'am. But also I'm... Thankful to you. I'm... glad I've been able to accompany you in your travels, that I've been able to guide you in your new time in this world, I feel privileged that I've been able to witness your transformation, that I've gotten to know you, after all this time, and I... I want you to know that I'm here for you. Now, as you grieve the loss of your son, and in the future, as you take on your new responsibilities as the leader of The Institute. I will be here, by your side. To protect you, to help you, to amuse you, even, if that's what you require from me, since I often seem to do so without realizing it."

*soft exhale*

"I want the best for you, Sole. I want you to feel safe, I want you to be... happy. It's not something I'm used to... wanting these things for another, but as always, you are the exception. If you need anything from me, if you want anything, I will be here. For you, Sole."

"Sincerely, X6."

#fallout #fallout companions #fallout companions reactions #fallout 4 #fallout 4 companions reactions #fallout 4 companions #fo4 #fo4 companions #cait fo4 #curie fo4 #danse fo4 #paladin danse #deacon fo4 #hancock fo4 #john hancock #maccready fo4 #robert joseph maccready #nick valentine #piper wright #piper fo4 #preston garvey #fo4 preston #fo4 x6 88 #sole survivor #porter gage #fo4 gage

[subwaytostardew]

▽ Subway to Stardew - Emmet 8-Heart Event ▽

This plays after getting at least 8 hearts with Emmet and entering the Railroad between 9AM - 4PM on a Thursday after viewing his 7 heart event.

You recieve this letter when you reach 8 hearts with Emmet!

Commentary and progress under the readmore.

▷ Station Steward Thylak

I DID NOT REALIZE THAT THIS EVENT WOULD BE THAT LONG... I could have sworn it was around 14 minutes max! I was worried that the battle stuff went by too quickly! It's almost 30 minutes long! And that's with me clicking away faster! Emmet really meant it when he said he wanted to spend all the livelong day together...

I thought it was going to be roughly 18 minutes. NOPE. WOOPS. This what happens when you write possibly too much.

We are bad at making short events. Vanilla events are around 1-3 minutes long. A day in Stardew lasts 14 minutes and 10 seconds. I would not recommend trying to play this mod spoiler free on multiplayer because time does not freeze and you will die if you don't skip the events. I wouldn't want to shorten the events either... Cutting down their infodumps would just be wrong.

We had a few requests to have a battle event which made me 😅 because I personally couldn't imagine that going well (truth over ideals...). This event was partially made to shut that idea down. The whole tunnel scene is mostly me trying to write an in-story reason as to why there won't be a battle with the farmer against Ingo... Emmet is competitive! This is not just limited to battles but extends to being your best friend! Behind the scenes... I'm just too tired to write out more battles. I actually really dislike single battle format. I'm not making an Ingo battle event. You already have three games to battle him in. I refuse to make more battle events for the time being.

I say that but there's another half-finished double battle event between submas that I switched tracks from to work on Emmet's 8 heart event... I'll finish that eventually.

Anyways... the creation process did not go by quickly at all either. I sure do have a lot to say on that matter. I do all my coding in google docs (terrible, I know) and so far we have had to make 3 seperate documents becuase things start to break at around 40 pages. The document before Emmet's 8 heart event made it to 64 pages before I abandoned it for a new document.

The longest document we have is around 80 pages along. Which usually contain the draft scripts of multiple events. code documents however take up a lot more since it's basically a giant wall of text. So when Emmet's 8 heart event started to slow down the current code document (the third iteration). We had to give the event its own space.

Emmet's 8 heart event ended up being 36 pages long alone! Also if you didn't know, Stardew's event format doesn't allow for line breaks so I have been staring at a 36 page wall of text for weeks. I plan to upload a video compiling all the different options later because I feel like all of the "good" options for battle... don't quite make sense in the context of the rest of the story. The farmer is supposed to not be good at battle and lose because they got overwhelmed with information. As the one writing out all the battle options though, I can't bring myself to act like I'm bad at battling. The winning options are extra silly just to justify a loss and because I couldn't bring myself to lie about Wild Charge not being a guaranteed OHKO on Archeops either. Especially since Emmet brings out damage calculations in a few of the options.

On that topic, all of the battle options play out accurately in a real double battle! I tested. Every. Single. Path. In Pokemon Showdown between the halves of Emmet's team.

I had nightmares of reliving this same battle over and over because that's all I did when I was awake. Make it stopppppp 😭

The lines about them practicing were references to me actually simulating everything in Showdown! Emmet's frustration is also based on how making this event took over my brain so now I struggle to comprehend how someone who doesn't know what to do in this battle would feel... Thank you Kade for helping me with that part ^^;;;

Your welcome =3

I actually enjoyed the Pokémon Showdown part - when it comes to Pokémon Battles, I have dabbled a little bit into the competitive side of things. Or at least the massive game of 4D Chess... trying to predict your opponent etc. Bait them into making a mistake, etc. There was a good time where we did nothing but Pokémon Battles for a night. And it was fun.

I am in no way good at competitive side of things - (I lose lot but that's okay.) especially in the double battle format. Single Battles I could do. (Though once again, I'm average at best) However I think the most memorable battle I ever had was back in Pokémon X and Y, where I managed to chip away and stall a Mega Aggron with a Umbreon.. And I think Umbreon was my last Pokémon but I kept using Moonlight to keep my health up. My kid self was super surprised and ecstatic that I beaten the odds... but whenever I do Pokémon Showdown I'm either testing battle stuff or making teams. I'm addicted to team compositions and doing a combination of different Pokémon even if it's not the competitive Meta....

I have the choices sorted into good/bad routes in my mind so in most of the routes, Emmet criticizes the player's decisions based on type advantage, STAB, and target. I was torn between the best and worst options for this recording but thanks to Kade's input, you get to see Durant ramming into Emmet instead of him getting mad at you for conducting Shadow Claw on Galvantula.

Battling Emmet as a first time trainer is not going to go well! Not only is he too competitive and he refuses to let you win (unlike Ingo), he pretty much sets you up for failiure. I'm sorry Emmet but Galvantula's stats are not intended for making her a physical attacker (emphasis on the Egg Move at what cost...).

Not to mention... Emmet is a Battle Facility Head. And you don't get to battle the Subway Bosses in the mainline games unless you have a somewhat decent team halfway through the game. Even still! They can both wipe the floor with you if you're not aware that they are using battle items...

Though I interpret Emmet not going easy on someone as him challenging them to push themselves and exceed expectations. Both Ingo and Emmet as characters encourage others in their own way, Ingo through words and Emmet I believe through his actions. Though he also can say some encouraging things.

Not the most encouraging if you compare their quotes pages... Customer service and communication isn't exactly his forte... But Emmet wants you to do your best and win against him! He likes seeing serious battlers like him! He just won't let you win unless if you push yourself to do your best. You'll have to. He doesn't really have the most beginner-friendly approach...

Considering you the Farmer, have no idea what a Pokémon even is. (You're practically learning everything from Ingo, Emmet, Elesa etc.) The fact you get challenged to a Battle because Emmet wants to share his interests with you - to have you better understand Pokémon.

He just struggles with the fact that, he is essentially challenging someone with no real battle experience and it's a Double Battle at that. Controlling two Pokémon at once?! Think about the effort it takes to command one Pokémon. We all seen the Anime and how trainers struggle to connect with their partners because they're new. They're just starting. They aren't going to be Battle Facility levels of skill.

Not to mention that Emmet is a little deprived in the valley and hasn't really battled any other new passengers in quite some time. At most, he battled Iris once when she came to visit, Ingo (who's Pokemon are optimized for countering/pissing him off), and himself (I had the mental image of him sitting in the field practicing for this event like an old man playing chess against himself in a park). He's a little too far gone to fully understand what a beginner would think in this situation other than mayyyybe it would take a moment to catch them up to speed. (I would know... I swear those option paths rewired my brain...)

After inputting all of their data into Showdown, I had actually forgotten that Galvantula and Durant are Emmet's Doubles Line team while Eelektross and Archeops are the Super Doubles Line team when deciding the matchups. (Been a while since they were in the Battle Subway huh...) Story-wise, I was thinking that Emmet should be with his ace and that he wouldn't really trust anyone else with Archeops since... he has higher support needs (depression bird 💔). Eelektross and Archeops are paired up because of Gastro Acid and Defeatist. I was thinking that Galvantula and Durant are a bit more beginner-friendly; they can take a loss a bit more easilly (a little less so in Galvantula's case... she's a hater). The farmer had already met Durant earlier in the 4-heart event so he'd volunteer to return the favor of fighting for you. Once you win his trust, he's more than happy to help. As for Galvantula... She's testing to see if she can trust her clingy child with you.

I'm excited to dive into the Pokémon NPC stories... Durant and Excadrill especially.

Durant was originally going to have Choice Scarf instead of Quick Claw to help narrow down the options. It was a pain reorganizing my notes and options all over again to lump not only move choices but turn order in mind. My notes were a mess.

Durant and Galvantula are a very luck-based combination so it was ultimately easier to write the different option paths with that in mind since Stardew's event format is verrrrrrrrrrrry linear. All of the options need to merge back into the same event (well... besides the option to refuse his friendship/battle which ends the event in the tunnel). Durant has lowered accuracy while Galvantula has higher critical hit ratios, I could write the battles based on their luck which is great because I wanted to force a loss.

I thought it would be a little too... reductive (it sure would reduce the amount of content >.>) and unrealistic for the player to impress Emmet with a victory on their first battle. Emmet sees this battle as a test on if you can follow his train of thought and be a good match for him because he's a little bit dependent on you for emotional regulation. He kind of expects you as his favorite passenger to have twin telepathy like Ingo since that's his standard operating procedure. You won't. Because you're not Ingo. You're just some weird farmer he got attached to. With the setup of a battle, I wanted this event to develop the farmer and Emmet's relationship to show that they aren't exactly perfect for each other (and Will say things that can be wrongly misinterpreted) but ultimately they will put in the effort to communicate and make things work. They won't have the best communication! But it's there.

While Ingo has a proper library confession, this event doubles as Emmet's "confession" of sorts. Emmet is already pretty openly affectionate by this point and I wanted to make it somewhat ambiguous as to whether or not his attachment to you is romantic or strictly platonic. To him, it doesn't really matter, but he does want you all to himself. He's not fond of sharing!

But... While Emmet's event may be more platonic in intent, you can still reject him. It's a lot harsher than Ingo's because refusing to even let him try to be a better friend for you is pretty harsh in itself. Ingo's is mostly the choice of whether or not you want to send him back to 6 hearts for more dialogue variety (it's really easy to miss dialogue when you try to max out their hearts as soon as possible! We're making lines for every day, season, and heart level.) Rejecting Emmet sends you back to 2 hearts and overrides his daily dialogue for the day with him asking if you're still friends, apologizing, and then getting too upset to say anything more.

Anyways!

From the start, I wanted Emmet to be like Nemona; awkward in their attachment, somewhat intimidating in their obsession/competitiveness, and thinks of the player as their savior from loneliness. He wants to be the best friend you have because you're the best friend he has. It's only fair. Best rival for life, favorite passenger, same thing.

The mountain pass events were actually made because Emmet's original schedule included him waiting around near the bushes there like Nemona stalking the player on their gym journey. NPCs actually can't path there so when he did, he was just deleted from the save!

I also stumbled across a bug back when I made the very first introduction event where a question loops unless if you pick a certain option. I kept that with Emmet forcing you to keep battling with him in mind as a slight reference to how Nemona doesn't let you say no to being her "best rival for life". This question also makes SMAPI hate you!

Gotta love Pokémon's false sense of 'Sure you have a choice. Your choice is always YES.'

There's probably a more fitting flower for Emmet outside of poppies. I just looked up every flower in Stardew (some of them aren't real...) and their meanings in flower language to come to the conclusion of poppies. The meanings in Emmet's event refer to the white poppy in particular. White. Rest. Oblivion. It fits. Good enough. It was a bit difficult to find more on the flower language of poppies in English (particularly the "Oblivion" part) so I resorted to Japanese sites for more information.

In English, the meaning of "Rest" seems to precede every other meaning. Poppies are used in death memorials. Emmet and the farmer did accidentally develop a shared theme of dying (overwork exhaustion, slimes, the mines, etc... Emmet can't get a break. I'm sorry.) but I wasn't sure if Kade was okay with the theme of death being emphasized. With that in mind, I was stunned when I that saw that her first battle map draft included a graveyard. The implication that Emmet picked flowers from a memorial site...

In my mind - the area is an old train stop in between the desert area and the forest/mountains that lead into Pelican Town. Also figured there would be an abandon farm - considering how Pelican Town is struggling it makes sense that potentially other places are not in best of shape either.

The graveyard is possibly dead relatives of whatever family or farmer made their life near the rails. Of course a lot of time has passed... So much so that nature has taken back what was theirs in the first place.

I always make up stories when having a location in mind and this area parallels with the tunnel Ingo takes you through to stargaze around 10 hearts. That area being an abandon coal mining operation.... Coal, Wood, etc. was used to powered steam trains so makes sense for there to be a source for it. I'm not the best when it comes to filling up Tiled Maps with decor - but I at least put down enough for Thylak to come in and make it more fitting for Stardew

The battlefield underwent quite a few revisions, one was having the battle area be more centered, and changing the old warehouse/worker area to be more like a train repair station with a water stop. I wanted it to feel like a place where Emmet goes to keep himself busy when he's told to take a break from working on the station.

Here's the final map! The battle area had to be shrunken down to fit in an event. More grass was added because I kept losing track of Joltik in the dirt. There's more flowers for Emmet to observe the quality of and pick tge best ones as gifts that he's too nervous to give the farmer until they wilt and dry. Poppies by the gravestones, of course!

I also did attempt to make a proper scrapbook sprite for when I eventually have Emmet give you his gift, but I never got around to implementing it properly since... I'm not familliar with adding custom items and its implementation changes in the 1.6 update.

Despite having access to the modding alpha, I've been procrastinating on migrating to 1.6 since HD Portraits isn't supported yet (I know... 1.6 releases in 3 weeks...).

WOO 1.6 WE ARE NO WHERE NEAR READY FOR ALL THE STUFF THAT POSSIBLY GOING TO BREAK. LOL.

Until next time! Thank you for reading!

#subway to stardew #submas #pokemon #stardew valley #sdv mods #Emmet #Kudari #subway to stardew terminal station #events

[candeathbereal]

Astro observations #11

-The funny thing about looks is that astrology has the funniest ways of expressing itself that reading something like "leo risings have great hair" or "saturn dominant people have great bone structure", and you can go along with it. One day I asked my boyfriend what feature of mine stood out the most and I was expecting something like my eyes since that is usually said for neptune dominants. Then he said something like "Your hair and face shape" and I sat back thinking about it. Like hair, sure I do have a leo rising so I expected that but face shape??? Did the part of my teenage years where I focused on working out my face so I could have a great jawline actually work out in my favor....yes yes it did. Now I have a great jawline that it can coexist with my hair as a outstanding feature. I make a big show of this because I started looking more and more into astrology and appearance patterns and you know what I found? Nothing becuase I am shitty at researching and connecting things. I know it's not ideal all things considering I do run a astrology focused blog but shit happens. I would love to hear you guy's thoughts and opinons on astrology being connected with appearance and the patterns of all that. Like I can see certain things but I fail at finding the patterns myself tbh.

-Moving on, my pluto trines my sun and my ascendant and my sun trines my ascendant. My venus also trines my ascendant while my jupiter sextiles it. And honestly it's interesting to hear people's first impressions of me and I give off conflicting impressions. I seem hardworking yet not to the point of being an asshole about shit. In high school I had people think I smoked but I have never done any drugs but I give off a certain vibe. I also think it's cause smoking isn't considered "acceptable" ,for a lack of better words, so I have always spent my time around people who do smoke because I never truly felt "normal" or "acceptable" when I was younger especially. To a certain degree I understand why I tend to vibe with what's considered outside of the norm but I don't exactly indulge into it myself. My seventh house is in aquarius, my uranus and lilith is in my seventh house, plus my seventh house lord is in either my tenth or my seventh house (I am still unsure about aquarius because it is said to rule both uranus and saturn). So naturally what's considered "outcast" or "stigmatized" hasn't always escaped my interest. Yet I don't find serial killers and all that, that interesting...I still learn about it because I feel a pull to understand why. Like why does this confuse people so much? You can find a reason for murder and most people if not everyone seems to be able to want to kill somebody. Of course this is a very rooted in morality so just know serial killers that kill people out of pure pleasure disgust me. Anyways I want to assume it's beyond the mindset of murderers that interest people so if anyone wants to discuss it with me further my inbox is open. Or anything else you guy's would wanna talk about. I feel like I'm missing something in this world which is knowledge. I live through pure curiosity as opposed to spite or hope. There is not a defined goal like spite but there is still somewhat a goal in curiosity. It's to know more but it doesn't always have to be positive either. It is the 'neutral' between many reasons to live but it works for me.

Alright enough of my random babble, I hope this made sense to anyone. Afterall I am posting this to be shared with others because if I wanted to only have this be for me it wouldn't be so public. Or even written down to be honest.

#astrology #astro #astrology observations #astro observations #astro posts #appearance astrology #saturn dominance #leo rising

[helioshellion]

hello helioshelion.. i wonder what ur thoughts are on majima's (absence of) backstory up until age 20 and how u deal with it canon compliant-ically or in aus. i find it frustrating like everyone else but at the same time any kind of explanation people come up with to fill in the gaps doesnt land for me... i am unsure why. maybe becuase theres so little to go off so its basically entirely made up? or maybe because its not in the vein of his character? anyway i think you are the yakuza man so i would like to know what u think happened in that time. snake eyes is kind of narratively satisfying to me because patriarchs being father figure adjacent and imparting traits and shaping their subordinates is the closest thing to kind of. growing up i think?? that majimas story has. so having sagawa and shimanos influence transposed onto his actual developmental years actually feels like the most character accurate backstory to me even if it is removed from canon. (i dontknow very much sorry if i got anything wrong) butyeah anyway love ur models im like OH SHIT!!!! HES FUCKING MAKING!!!!!!!! ok thats it have a good daaaaayyy

I think what's important and vital to this narrative is for Majima to not be the central focus. Of course I believe the most interesting concept for Snake Eyes is Majima's exploration and coming into his own in a way that justifies who he is within what we DO know of his past, aka Y4 and 0. I believe it is within Dead Souls' cabaret where Majima tells the hostess that if he could go back to any time to redo things, it'd be 14, and therefore it's where I landed on a timeframe- the moment Majima meets Shimano. I believe Majima is at his best as a character who is reactive, but not focused on. He is entirely a character who is shaped by the people around him, both within the lore and within the meta itself, he is not the main character. He is swayed and changed by the events around him, with little to no control in changing this, because he is simply an NPC, and that's the small tragedy of Majima. A character who is so strongly tied to the idea of control, of shaping his own future, when really he has no agency, not within the narrative, not within the game. Anyways, that is the central focus on Snake Eyes. What kind of man Shimano Futoshi is, and by extension, what that says about Majima Goro as a boy. Is there any parallels I can make between the men Majima would later on follow in life and the man he swore his name to? I wrote earlier about agency, and that's something I think that's very important to Shimano's character as well. Present day, you wouldn't exactly compare Shimano to Kiryu, or Saejima, but that's what I find to be the most interesting thing to explore- if I can make a case that there are those similarities, what would change so drastically that Shimano would become the man you see in the series. Sagawa is merely a pawn in this exploration, just the same as he is a pawn in 0. I really enjoy connecting narrative within gameplay. Majima's a stone in the tide, I'd say, stuck on the bottom to be shaped over years and years and years.

So yeah! Snake Eyes is about Shimano, and how he changes the people around him, and how that changes him. Uroboros or whatever.

I think what's funny is that despite being the AU guy, I try to keep myself strictly to canon compliancy, and the things I do change I need to justify. Like me making the decision to have Sagawa be Yasuko Saejima's birth father. We knew her dad was an Omi man in Sotenbori, and that he was money focused. It was a loose comparison, but the idea of exploring that was so interesting to me. Yakuza is all about fatherhood sometimes, so why not.

Majima's character in Snake Eyes, again, meant to justify who he is later on, but also I do not want this idea of Majima being wholly good and brought into evil. I do not think it's black and white. There's something in Majima that was probably there long before Shimano, something that brought him to the point that men like him were to be followed. In the right light, even the worst actions can be seen as heroic, justified, admirable, especially to a kid. Kind of like Ichiban, I guess!

Another funny thing is that I tend to steer away from the idea of Majima needing a backstory. I believe how he is is perfectly suitable and fine for who he is. I do not want to see where he grew up, but I do like using implications to paint an idea of how and why he is who he is. It's sort of why I have an OC who exists as Majima's birth father in Snake Eyes, meant to sort of paint this all literally. Discarding this past for the sake of the role you are meant to play. Maybe it's a nihilist perspective, but I believe Snake Eyes is a nihilist's story. It's a perfect parallel for Forever Yours, an optimistic exploration of fatherhood and how that shapes a person.

This was a lot. hope you enjoy to read.

#im glad i got a message like this thank you for the question #i have not been doing much art at all outside of the 3d models #which are half for me and half for school. taking care of both my mother and grandmother takes a lot of time away from me to be able to #really enjoy my things. but thats fine. im glad i get to think more about it again.

[nrcnewspaperclub]

Day 4 of getting banned from every dorm.

So I’ve tackled heartslabyul and pomefiore, which I assumed would be the easiest. And also Ignihyde of course, then again I was never officially banned but I have been staying at a friends dorm and no one from Ignihyde has welcomed me back so. Yeah

I wasn’t sure where to head to next, so I decided, yeah Octavinelle should be pretty easy.

So I’d say im fairly close friends with Floyd, I’d consider him one of my best friends at the school. So I decided to text him about my endeavors and see if he’d be willing to help me get banned from Octa, and I knew it’d completely depend on his mood. I was either gonna get ratted out to Azul, ignored, or he was gonna comply. And perfectly enough, I received back just what I wanted. After some conspiring we came up with a plan. Well, two plans.

Plan A was to play the long game and get a job at mostro to try and get banned that way, buuut I’m impatient and that has a low success rate. Plan B however was more my style

So I rolled over to mostro this morning and I was sure that Floyd was waiting and Azul was present, and I was correct. I was met with Floyd begrudgingly waiting tables and Azul conversing with some juniors near the bar.

I slid into a table and Floyd immediately beelined to me, and we went over our plan once more. My plan was to guilt trip Azul into giving me free stuff throughout the day, then pull off some crazy stunt to make him regret it.

The guilt tripping is the hard part. I’m not a theatre kid, I’m in basketball, so I can’t take cry or come up w some dramatic sob story. But I am friends with Jamil so, I do have some skill of manipulation from observing him, however Azul is also a master manipulator so he’d see right through me. Thus, why I have a Floyd

We sort out a story and Floyd calls Azul over, and after a minute he comes over with his octo-swagger

So I start my story, TL;DR is that I made up a lie that Ignihyde was short on food becuase Idia was refusing to take responsibility for his own dorm, so I wanted to get a day or so’s worth of food for my friends to help in this trying time, but I was low on cash. Azul was skeptical and kept egging me on for more details, eg. “cook it yourself,” “have ortho get some food,” etc, all of which I had an argument locked and loaded.

Azul still wasn’t believing me, so Floyd pulled out the Floyd puppy eyes.

“Awwww, Azuu!! Orca-chans just trying to help her dorm outtt 🥺🥺 can’t you spare him a couple things???? 🥺🥺”

Then Azul decided he was feeling charitable, and he’d give me discounted things. I was gonna accept this but then Floyd jumped in again, he’s more dedicated to this than I am-

“Didn’t you hear them???? He doesn’t have any money!!!! We have enough food for some freebies, his dorm is starving!!!”

Azul then let out the longest and loudest sigh I have ever heard, I think everyone in the restaurant turned around, before he said smth to affect of “I suppose I’ll find it in me to be charitable” and agreed to give me two free meals so long as Floyd cooked them, and that I eventually pay him back in some way, be it throufh money or labor.

I accepted the food and offered to pay for a coffee cuz I’m a nice bitch but Floyd payed for the coffee for me, so now I owe Floyd money too cuz i wanted some fuckin mud water

Anyway obviously Ignihyde isn’t starving so me and my friend just shared the free meals over lunch.

This isn’t where this ends tho. I came back to mostro for dinner, and this time I’d gotten Jade into it as well.

I didn’t intend to involve Jade, but it so happened to turn out that way cuz Floyd had informed Jade what was happening and he decided he was in on it

I managed to flag down Azul and speak to him for a bit, eventually going back into my story after thanking him an unnecessary amount of times to butter him up for a higher chance of free shit

Then out of nowhere liek some gods descending from heaven the leech twins materialized behind me in a flash of light and started joining me in my manipulating but they’re wayyy better than me so it was more convincing

Azul put his foot down tho, and said he wasn’t allowing me any more free stuff, especially not before I’d payed off the other ones. I pointed out that if I’m in debt now then the meals weren’t free, to which Azul got all offended, then Floyd got offended on my behalf, “Really, how could you do that to her????”

Azul started sputtering and not being able to form words, so I decided I’d “let it go.” Then goes into phase two of me and Floyd’s original plan

I slid into the bar and ordered a mocktail, which Floyd made perfectly, as per the norm. Hwoever, as he was bringint it to me, he ‘tripped’, spilling juice all over Azul’s nice leather barstools and wood countertops.

Azul looked pissed, and was very sternly scolding Floyd, to which he whines, very convincingly, “ORCA TRIPPED ME UP!” And points accusingly at me

Jade catches on and plays along, “my my, it seems Floyd is correct. I do recall seeing (my name) try to catch Floyd off balance, I do wonder why they’d do such a thing…” to which Azul tells me to get out.

That was a couple hours ago, I walked by mostro just a few minutes ago and I am on the banned list posted on the door! Why they have a banned list, I don’t know, but Rook is also on it!

Four down, three to go. Where next?

-🐾

this feels like reading a fan fiction from the early internet, but, like, in a good way.

#[reporter:🪸] #[reader:🐾] #nrc newspaper club #nrc #twst #unreality

[3000-200-grains-of-salt]

i ramble a lot be warned <33

"if you woke and i was gone"

jes' sumthin short, sweet, and angsty for @aquaquadrant and @lunarcrown 's hels to pay au :] im known for fluff but i wanted to cry for a change i guess </3

bigger better things comin! <33 but i literally just got back from a 6 day thing ereyesterday w/no drawing time and in actually 7 hours i have to wake up to get on an airplane and have not slept yet. lmao. im gonna see the crane wives in chicago literal core memory abt to be made, ill keep ya posted otherwise.

also my vaforite crane wives song????? in the HashTag official pathbubs playlist???????? and also the songs i used for art titles???????? i am crying thbak you!!!!!!!!! <33333

and i dont say it enough, but thank you to wveryone for supporting me! every reblog helps and even a lil' like helps me microdose serotonin!

and thank you specifically to lunar n aqua for being so incredibly kind and leaving like an entire Paragraph of tags on each of my arts.!!!?.?!!?!! every time i see your guyses names in my notifs i get so incredibly happy and its not even funny because one day we're all gonna be 80 yrs old and still in the hermitcraft fandom and ill have a heart attack and die becuase i was so overjoyed to see that you liked my pieces!!!!!!!!!! genuinely yall have been a main reason why i create art in recent days, you both are so skilled in each of your respective crafts its amazing iand you dont get it wnough!!!!!!!!! my """little""" deranged series of pathbubs works has made me see a Significant improvement in drawing heads in 3d spaces! (cough cough its all th e kissing poses cough hm what was i sayin) and anatomy in general! ive gained such an understanding of the hesd in 3d, the way it attatches to the neck+torso and im feeling good about my art and like im actually improving and its because of two people and their names are lunarcrown and aquaquadrant seriously i cant thank you enough for just being here and doing what you do whether it be breathing life into empty canvases or creating whole universes in that squishy grey lump of sauce you keep in your skull or somehow making me cry because of a buhnch of squiggly lines and aeird symbols smushed together that i somehow understand?????? by using my own grey slab of meat????????????!!!!!!!!!!! just!!! wow!!!!!!!! i need to take a minute or twelve to go like bake bread and look at the stars and stuff and appreciate human life and the universe and maybe think about the mars opportunity robot

anyways. the POINT is. ...i lobve these gay idiots and the two incredible people who made them. love yall nd see you in a week <3

#almost physically hurts to remove the etho tags from this one #seattlesaltsartowrk #pathbubs #hels to pay au #hermitshipping #htp au #htp art #hels to pay art #bdubs fanart #bdoubleo100 #bdoubleo fanart #bdoubleo #bdoubleo100 fanart

[annalyticall]

One thing I think is really cool about Baldur's Gate is how companion approval for certain actions changes depending on the context surrounding that action.

For example, when I first met Jahiera with my overly-trusting and naive Dark Urge, she readily accepted the drink Jaheria offered without checking or questioning it. Drinking it blindly had no affect on the companion's opinions, in my case it was Shadowheart, Gale, and Karlach.

Going through the scene again as my cautious and streetwise Tav, I used their rouge advantages to check the wine and realized it had been tampered with. After calling Jahiera out on it, she confessed to have laced it with a truth-telling herb, however I made the decision to drink the wine anyways as a show of good faith. This time, with context that I was knowingly drinking something tampered with, my companions - the same ones I had before - all had approval/disapproval inputs for the action. Gale and Shadowheart disapproved, probably becuase they thought it rather stupid to willingly give Jahiera the upper hand that easy, and Karlach approved, because she's a Jahiera fangirl and was happy I was trusting her.

I don't know it's just the small details like that that really make the game feel alive to me, I'm just impressed so much thought had gone into those relatively small interactions.

#there's a few other examples of this that i've noticed with a second playthrough #however this one was the most profound since i was basically doing the same thing with the same party with a different outcome #anna plays bg3

[notquitecharlie]

1/22/24

(I wrote this on paper last night or technically early this morning. Im doing a little better now. Not much but a little, I'm gonna transcribe it best I can because parts are rambly, I'm sorry)

Dear Friend,

I dont think i can do this anymore. I fucking know that I can't. I'm going back to the homeschool program that I used to do. I feel like the boy who cried wolf with every one of these letters but sometimes writing to you makes me feel ok for a little bit. I know how i'd do it. Wanna know something funny? I'm the problem! I mean that with sincerity. My parents rules aren't unrealistic. they just want me to be straight and normal. They just always want ti know who I'm with, where I am and what I'm doing and saying. It's not unrealistic. They're just caring and thats so good and ice and I'm so grateful that I have people that that that that that that care you know. It's makes me so happy. So happy. It's my fault. Isn't that silly? Are you laughing friend? I feel bad I never make you happy. You make me so happy, you're who I have and i just say sad sad sad sad fucking things alllll the time. But its funny you seem to care about me. You say nice things and you click the little heart but thats just becuase you dont know me. You care (or at least let me think you care) about some stupid 17 year old that's fucked up in the head and I don't know where I'm going with this. I'm so sorry. Why do you deal with me? I don't make anything better or nice or good. I am un-loveable. I am useless. I don't deserve to be alive. Why do you let me pretend people care? That's so kind. It's 2 a.m. I've been sitting in a corner of my bed since about 10 p.m. I haven't been reading, I've just been sitting here scared of myself. Too scared of myself to let myself get out to where the sharp things and the painkilling things are. I found this old notebook by reaching under my bed a minute ago. Imagine if someone I live with read this! That's be so silly friend. Everythings so silly. My parents said if I finish my associates degree before I'm 18 and I move out for college they won't support me or have a relationship with me. That's fair. A bit of bad timing though because I have a semester and a half of credits to complete. I'm so hungry and cold. Ha. Imagine if i died that way. I'm only 10 pounds underweight. I could be like the guy in Elevation by Stephen King and just watch it keep going down until it's time to die. That'd be funny. I don't remember the last time I felt hungry though. I don't eat much but I never get hungry either. This is odd. odd. odd. odd. odd. odd. But i can't get up and leave the bed. Writing has made it a little better but the kitchen? Where all the best things are? No. I'll be fine. I don't know what I'd eat anyways. I'm so sorry. I know it's bad to complain about hunger. I'm so sorry. I don't deserve food yet theres so much. I feel so bad about that. So bad. I hope you'll forgive me. And I don't know why I just complained about being cold when I have blankets. I'm so fucking ugrateful. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I am. I'll do better. I'll be better. I'm sorry.

Love always,

M.

#diary #perks of being a wallflower #letters #teen #my journal #true

[spooniechef]

No-Bake White Chocolate Raspberry Cheesecake (1 spoon)

It hasn't been a good few weeks in the Spoonie Kitchen, I have to say. Another two weeks of overtime, one of my relaxation days had to be completely scrubbed because of some major electrical work needing to be done on my flat, and the flat upstairs has got into the noisy parts of their renovations so I've been having to do most of my work-from-home job with banging and power tools drowning out my Spotify playlist, never mind the actual dictation I have to type up.

Still, when I did my grocery order for the month, I was insistent that I get a few ingredients for relatively easy treats, becuase the run-up to Christmas feels like a good time for that sort of thing and anyway, with this amount of spoon expenditure, I deserve nice things. So I pulled out my Quick and Easy Gluten-Free Cookbook (by Becky Excell, comes highly recommended) and looked up a few things that might brighten up my days a little. One of the ones that stood out to me was a gluten-free white chocolate and raspberry cheesecake. I mean, I'm still lactose-intolerant, but that's why we have Lactaid. It didn't sound too hard so I gave it a try. It's easy enough to deserve a place here. Now my only problem is having too much cheesecake, though I solved some of that by giving some to my stepfather.

Also this is largely going to be in metric, but that's what measurement conversion sites are for.

Here's what you'll need:

500g mascarpone

100g (around 3/4 cup) icing sugar

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

300ml (1 1/4 cup) heavy cream

250g white chocolate, melted and just cooled

275g fresh raspberries

For the base, you'll need:

320g gluten-free graham crackers (or digestive biscuits)

150g (2/3 cup) butter, melted

I actually have a couple of suggestions right off the bat here. If you're using digestive biscuits instead of graham crackers (which I had to because they don't have graham crackers at all over here, gluten-free or otherwise), you might want to add a little bit of sugar or honey to the butter when mixing with the crumbs, and maybe a tiny pinch of cinnamon. Digestive biscuits are a reasonable substitute but there's some flavour notes missing. Also, to make this dairy-free, just use dairy-free butter, cream, and white chocolate, and substitue dairy-free cream cheese for the mascarpone. It probably won't set quite as well, though.

Here's what you do:

Mash the graham crackers / digestives into crumbs, either putting them in a stand mixer or just putting them in a Zip-Loc bag and beat on them with a rolling pin for awhile.

Pour into a bowl and add the melted butter; stir until well-mixed

Spoon the mixture into an 20cm (8") loose-bottomed or springform pan, compacting it into an even layer at the bottom, before putting it in the fridge to chill

While the base is chilling, add the mascarpone, sugar, and vanilla extract into a bowl and mix until reasonably combined (10-20 seconds with a stand mixer or electric hand whisk on low/medium speed)

Add the cream and blend on medium speed for 1-2 minutes, or until it starts to firm up

Add the chocolate, mix until combined and you have a thick, spoonable mixture (only mix briefly - overmixing will make things start to separate out)

Gently fold the raspberries into the mixture until evenly dispersed

Spoon the mixture into an even layer onto the chilled base; let chill in the fridge for at least 5 hours, preferably overnight

FEAST

The electric hand whisk or stand mixer does most of the work on this one; everything else is all about the spooning and smoothing, so it's pretty ideal for someone whose tolerance for mixing things by hand is pretty low. The results are good, and obviously substitutions can be made for different flavours. I'm already pondering a couple of teaspoons each of cocoa powder and espresso powder sifted into the icing sugar and leaving out the raspberries for a mocha cheesecake. You also probably don't have to use fresh raspberries, but their tartness is a nice contrast to the sweet creaminess of the cheesecake. I'm going to test that theory by defrosting some of the frozen mango I have for smoothies and trying for a mango cheesecake. Basically so long as you have an obscene amount of mascarpone cheese, cream, and enough icing sugar to make it set, you can do whatever you want with this one.

Of course, these do take well to freezing, so you could also probably halve the recipe, use ramekins instead of a springform tin, and have single-serving cheesecakes, taking them out of the freezer to defrost when desired. A good notion for those who like the occasional sweet but can't get through an entire cheesecake by themselves.

Oh, hey, I nearly forgot. I actually took pictures of the results this time! So here you go - No-Bake Gluten-Free White Chocolate Raspberry Cheesecake!

#the spoonie chef #recipes #gluten-free #baking #sweets