#any of these sound really good rn

[mypersonmyg]

I’m not sure if it’s too late to play the top 5 thing but!!! If it’s not!!! Top 5 snacks!!

its not dw! also hi new mutual <3

in no particular order...

hummus and peeta chips

mozzarella sticks

popcorn

pizza rolls

any fruit really

ask me my top 5 anything!

#answered #cutiepieguk #any of these sound really good rn #thanks for asking!

[sergle]

There's something about like. A certain genre of posts / Online Opinions about insecurity/depression/misery/complaints that are so unhelpful that they wrap right around to being straight up hilarious. and it's the ones that are more or less written to the tone of "Feeling bad? That's gross!" Like, just so you know, don't voice your insecurities/ have low self esteem, because that's offputting! You're gross and weird. Don't be insecure about that, though. That would be stupid if you felt insecure about people disliking you for being insecure. Not attractive. You should be thinking about being as attractive as possible. You shouldn't make comments about suicide, even if you're suicidal! Keep those thoughts entirely to yourself. Make sure nobody around you knows you're thinking about this. It would Make Them Uncomfortable. It's better to keep these thoughts in your head where they can fester. Don't post OR talk to friends with complaints about you feeling miserable or depressed. Tbh people who are sad/upset a lot? Kinda a red flag! You are probably miserable because you're a bad person and you've brought this on yourself. If you don't have friends, it's because you're awful to be around. Easy! Solved the problem for you. And no, there is no nuance to this, got it? So, make sure to feel bad about feeling bad, but don't feel bad about it, because, well, that's just gross. And annoying! You might've wanted your brain rotted thoughts to be Peer Reviewed, you might have just needed to vent- you might've been hoping for some comfort, to get things off your chest. Well, don't! Don't talk about thoughts or feelings that are negative with your friends, you'd be burdening them and that's only meant for THERAPY. #SponsoredbyBetterHelp #MentalHealth like, DAMN. that's so helpful. you're so good at helping. I um really liked the part where these are all hard and fast rules that encourage keeping feelings bottled up and keeping your friends at arm's length. That's really funny of you.

#I FEEL LIKE COMPLAINING RN in the context of this alternate universe these posts live in. that makes me evil rn. I may not even keep #the post up. but I Needed to complain about these bc I hate seeing them #really funny and good because it very much feeds into that part of the brain where you go wait am I stupid? am I horrible? am I annoying? #before you express any kind of personal feelings. from feeling insecure alll the way down the spectrum to feeling like your life is over #before anyone How Dare You Say We Piss On The Poor-s at me YES there is a nuanced version of this #which is. you can make someone feel like shit (A Fellow Sufferer Of The Mental Eelnesses) by using them as your dumping ground #in excess and usually with no regard for how they feel and without Regular conversations inbetween #and in a one-sided way where they can't do the same and complain with you as a sounding board in return #don't tell new friends you hardly know abt THE MOST personal shit you can possibly think of. there are steps being skipped here #right? we know this. we all know it. setting a boundary is a thing. overwhelming a person is a thing #on the other hand there is such a thing as a friend who IS okay to listen and wants to help. and friends who relate. #maybe talking abt personal stuff makes ppl feel closer sometimes. just a thought! maybe not everything is Emotional Labor. maybe just maybe #but like come on. these are almost intentionally unhelpful posts #long post

[miciiq]

Got Aventurine in 60 pulls!

He’s so auxhuehuche I’m so happy I have him now

#This is actually from 10 days ago but i forgot to post it so #I started on the 20th and i just got to equilibrium 3 #Im at the part where we should leave luofu but we visit a few friends we made along the way or smth #Im so happy hes my first limited 5 star i love him #Hes my second oshi after dan heng or maybe even my first #I want to change the voicing to english for aventurine but i cant bring myself to abandon ito kento as dan heng #Maybe i can just change it to en for most of penacony and change it back when jing yuan and dan heng somehow appear #Ugh im still regretting missing out on jing yuan voiced by cyyu #But Ito kento #But i also like english dan heng too omg #Oh i also want to hear eng dr ratio bc he acts slightly differently towards aventurine compared to like jp #Like he sounded much more uh passionate in the aventurine keeping up with star rail video and i was living for it #hsr #hsr aventurine #honkai star rail #Aventurine #aventurine hsr #star rail aventurine #Hm idk im not sure if i should skip all 4 characters in 2.2 and after that (firefly and jade etc) #I have almost 100 tickets saved rn but like im not rly sure ab pulling for any of them #Idk im not really attached to any of the characters rn #Maybe i should wait for ruan mei? I don’t particularly love her tho shes inhumane but pretty idrc #Firefly and robin are apparently rly good but i feel like im baiting myself everytime i read another reddit thread and watch another video #Like idk the only 5 stars i have are yanqing dr ratio and aventurine all e0s0 and i dont feel like pulling for topaz either (boothill idk) #im really tempted to pull for jingliu but im probably going to pull for dhil maybe next year when he reruns just bc i like him so again idk

[bmpmp3]

i do think its kinda funny when i see someone in the year of our lord 2024 talk about vocal synth music like its all gone downhill since like 2010 because like dont get me wrong i love a good niconicodouga-ass 2008 ass vocaloid joint BUT also like. the past couple years have had the most fascinatingly creative and expressive uses of vocal synthesizers ive ever heard in my life DJFSKHJDFS dont write it all off just yet!!

#usually i only see that from people who havent actually listened to any vsynth music from the past 15 years so i understand why they got to #that conclusion. and also usually theyre people who didnt listen to much vsynth music in the first place LOL they just dont know #but it is still a little funny. brother there are things beyond your wildest dreams if u just look #like some personal highlights: the stuff by rinri - particularly their use of the meika girlies #dont carry our memories away is LIFECHANGING the whispers. the spoken parts. the BELTS #plus the haunting and unrelenting instrumentation. fantastic song #and naisho no pierced's propose + birthday + gift sort of trilogy of songs. gift especially has been unreal #again the dynamics of soft intimate whispers to belts but also those fuller high notes with edges of growlyness. #plus the songs just generally rock. and those LYRICS. absolutely intense like physically painful and frightening like #yearning and codependency and possession. and the tuning and production just amps it up more #OH and slave.v.v.r has been doing crazy things for even longer but i only started getting into his stuff recently and holy shit #love eater is like. the scariest vocaloid song ive ever heard not because of the lyrics. but because of the tuning #im like. scared. i cant stop listening to it. the heavy synthesized breathy main vocals and whispered harmonies plus the VOCAL FRY #i didnt realized vocaloid5? i think? has a vocal fry option built in i heard? thats crazy #but specifically in love eater the fry and growl is amped up so deep and loud and clear compared to everything else it like #emphasizes the artificiality of the voice while also amping up the expressiveness #its awesome. and on the older slave.v.v.r songs i heard i will hit you 8759632145 times with this piano. also so fucking cool #addicted to that song. 1) its a great jazzy rocky piano tune with this piano flourish at the end of each phrase that sounds fantastic #but also 2) the lyrics are insane. using kanji to write english?????? #people are doing wild ass things with vocal synths rn you guys #this isnt even getting into some of the really unique synths themselves too. adachi rei is awesome i love that shes just like #the perfect inbetween of sample based and reconstruction based vocals. shes a sample based synth #but her samples were drawn by hand LOL shes like dectalks granddaughter to me..... #a really good use of adachi rei is iyowa's heat abnormal/heat anomaly/whatever its called ITS AWESOME thats what it is hjrkfdgfd #i think the fact that vocal synths can be so realistic and clean and noiseless out the gate now has made people really stop worrying #about like. realism all together and looking more into expressiveness. omg vocal synth modernist movement

[rollforjackass]

kinda hoping that they resolve things between aziraphale and crowley like. halfway through season 3 so the rest of it is just them being giddily, Insufferably newylwed

#not really. i want them to resolve it naturally and with the full amount of time & devotion it requires to resolve it well #i just think it would be extremely funny if 90% of the jesus christ wrangling american road trip was them not caring about it At All #'oh he's gone off turning nukes into salamanders? hm right sounds serious. too bad i'm busy sucking & fucking at a sonic's rn or i'd help' #'on the cross you say? terrible business. another crucifixion you say? shame. in florida you say? sounds like a them problem' #and no in this fantasy world of mine they do not adopt jesus he's like aziraphale's high uncle whom they have to drive to the family reunio #the ultimate and most immediate marriage test you could possibly hope for: you and your spouse in the car with jesus christ of nazareth #can't believe i typed any of that. it would be funny is what i'm saying #fuck ineffable husbands i want insufferable husbands #good omens spoilers #go2 spoilers #good omens #oxly hollers

[smute]

big epiphany you guys. big. huge.

#cliffnotes for context: smute almost finish masters. smute think oh‚ maybe phd not crazy wacko shit‚ maybe i can try #but smute also low self esteem. with any small setback - smute think oh what is point. smute bound to fail #problem is: smute genuine self doubt = smute quotidian frustration #ok normal english now #so thats what i realized today. a lot of the ''small'' things i dream of (financial independence‚ a nice little apartment etc) are #expressions of some low level frustration with my nomadic broke student life #rather than genuine desires. and as dumb or as #duh #obvious as that may sound rn #its actually huge for me that i was able to recognize the difference today #this question of what i will do after i graduate has been haunting me for the past year #and i am now realizing that a lot of my own arguments have nothing to do with what i want #just because they're things i don't currently have doesn't mean they would be fulfilling #and #again. duh. #but like. between this debilitating self doubt and certain external pressures 🤨 it was hard to see the difference #anyway i basically just explored some alternative scenarios today #like specific scenarios. went on indeed found some really good stuff and tried to imagine my life a year from now if i took this or that jo #and the end result was that i fucking hated it. they were all great options on paper but the takeaway was that i would never forgive myself #if i didnt give this a try. if i prioritized some vague notion of independence or this idea of ''settling down'' or whatever the fuck #over the one thing that ive got going for me #like i still don't know if the academic path will be any more fulfilling than some other job #god knows my entire academic career so far has been an insane uphill battle. but it's also been so fucking rewarding. like nothing else #and i also still dont know how genuine this wish is #if it's not maybe still about proving myself to some imaginary authority #but like. how long can you psychoanalyze yourself before your goddamn head explodes #no matter how pure my motivation is im beginning to understand that i dont want this to be the end of the road #and maybe that's enough #&

[zouisexo]

.

#ok i will say smth abt it bc im a little pissed hehe #and verito is not answering my texts so now u all have to hear it #im not self absorbed enough to believe i know what's best for phoebe or if she planned it or not or whatever #the way she announced it seems she's pretty excited so good for her #but honestly some of the takes i've seen on here... #people in their middle/late 20s calling this 19 year old girl an idiot #saying that she must not know the difference between her vagina and her urethra #that louis must be soo disappointed and that he didn't pay and expensive school for her to get pregnant (????????) #do u guys hear yourselves what the actual fuck #ofc teen pregnancy is an issue worldwide but is this really the hill you're gonna die on?? that it's all the girl's fault bc she's stupid?? #u sound like a 50 yo congressman wtf is the actual matter with you #people i've seen joking about how long until her bf leaves her... #i literally encourage u to seek help it is not normal to lack empathy in this way and to be so cruel to a person who has #literally done nothing to you #also louis can pay for whatever school he likes he still doesn't have the right to decide over his little sister's body?? do u guys #hear yourselves be so real with me rn #also how do u even know he's upset?? #tfw some of u think u know louis.. it's insane #i literally am in shock at some of the things i had to read today #i really hope you are not in any field where people come to you for help #especially girls especially young girls #you guys are insane lmao #that's all <33 #shut up laura

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#if u r curious abt following the saga that is my life: #i did finally accept an official offer from a school this afternoon. which is a huge relief and really exciting #and for once i think i did something that will b good for me in mind and body lol bc i think i could b happy with any of the places i #applied to but this program is most geared to my interests and its in a place where i think i can have fun due to the accessibility #of nature and the mountains haha. like at rutgers i think i could have got a good education and had a lot of opportunities but i think it #would have crushed my soul a lil bc it would b more high pressure and in the city. ya kno? so i hopefully i dont regret the choice lol #i still have to wait on the offical acceptance stuff but now at least i can allow myself to get excited abt the potential project and start #researching. which i mean ill have 5yrs of a phd for that but idk im excited and my life feels so empty and meaningless rn ive gotta take #the excitement where i can haha #anyway housing is gonna b a bitch bc there arent a lot of places available in grad student price ranges in the city to the point where they #said so in the official offer rip. and i have to decide when im leaving the southwest bc i could stay til August or leave in july and take #like a whole almost 2 months to just not b doing anything for a sec. and my dad was like !!! u could go to the crazy state parks #or drive out to the pacific northwest! and that would b amazing but also that sounds so scary to do on my own lol #like i dont wanna b missing and murdered as a youngish non guy traveling alone #but i could do it if i tried im sure. anyway i just wanted to let yall kno #bc im so doom and gloom on here all the time but a transition period is looming so im only stuck here for a few more months #and hopefully itll b a page turn into a happier place haha #watch out yellowstone cyanobacteria. im coming for u >:-] #knock on wood. ya kno. just in case #hhhh at least i can breathe a lil better now i have a direction #unrelated

[keeps-ache]

ggghhg i hate vehiclessssssss ghghghhghhhhh [dies dies dies forever]

#just me hi #i'm going to get right back to it but i need to complain or i'll turn into a stale loaf of Bread lmao :3👍 #so here it is. why's it gotta be so hard hhghfh #okay buildings suck i hate buildings. but also they don't make me want to immediately explode at the merest hint of actually drawing them #vehicles?? Vehicles ???? i am going to just. what if i just put everyone in magical cardboard boxes and did that huh. what is the point !! #i have to draw motorcyclessss and carssssss and i'm okay with bikes to a degree actually <3 and horsessssssss and truckssssssssssss #god forbid you pick an older model with like 20 articles on it cuz most of them are going to only have a side profile and 3/4s view of that #dang thing. which yea sounds manageable 'why is this a problem keeps' i cannot properly see the FRONT #i have to guess?? i have to Guess ???? my dearest wish i think i'm just going to live in the sewers. with the sewer creatures #GGHHHHHHHHHHHH #i am going to practice drawing this stupid thing that i'm going to use for like 7 panels MAX and then i'm going to commit a FOUL crime. lik #rearranging someone's usual playlist without them knowing so they're confused every time they listen to it afterwards #//okay enough of that. we're good hbfhsfh :3 #i have done other things today ! i've actually made a rough timeline for pi.e so thaaaat's cool :D #that and found a cool artist to follow on pillowfort. i. forgor their user but they have cool art .w. #/also i'm past the halfway mark on this first chapter which is !!! #i don't want to jinx myself cuz i know i'm really good at that hfhsv - but i think i'll start storyboarding the next part if i can get a #couple more pages done :D #//also the cowboy au grows stronger everyday hhhgfshvbh #i kind of knew some sort of au was inevitable but i did not think it would be an old west one loll :3 #still trying to figure out the logistics #i wanna find some good historical fiction from those eras (1860s-70s) but i do not have the brain space for it rn fbhs - so this will do :> #it won't have any of the magic or gods i think bc of that but i'm having fun regardless :D #it Does have some occult though. because i was playing the story for my brother and i Do enjoy scaring him hhbvhfhsfvh #there are devils on the ranch!! or are they devils?? he hasn't gotten that far yet lol :> #//i also may have some sort of weird lean towards the spooky because Somehow each of my stories end up containing some sort of thriller #element?? lmao rip my siblings #but it never happens on purpose. again; rip my siblings hfhhvsh #//oo running out of tag space lol <//3 #i shall return. probably with more wip stuff cuz i started like 4 canvases in 2 days hhghghdvs - toodles !!

[wishchthumblr]

on todays episode of "mental health issues that could easily be solved by one single thing that i dont have", GET A MICROWAVE!!!

i just know SO many of my eating related issues (not all obviously but a LOT of them) would be solved if this house just had a goddamn microwave

today i ate like... 1/4th of those small frozen pizzas, 1/3rd of a grilled cheese, and 1/3rd bowl of macaroni and meatballs. and yall wanna know why i didnt eat the whole thing of any of them? its cause my stupid adhd ass took too long to eat and the food got cold. and then i Cannot Eat That anymore. so even though i was still hungry i didnt eat the rest of it and just went back to rotting on youtube shorts and being too hungry to do anything and feeling dumb and unproductive and being guilty of making food that i dont eat. just... feeling like a big ol' waste

but the thing is, if i just

✨owned a microwave✨

i could just reheat the motherfucking food and still eat it and not feel like ive wasted that food. ((because since that food is wasted i feel guilty about making it, so i dont make any more food until next meal time, but then i didnt finish that either cause im stupid and eat too slow.))

but we dont have a microwave. only an oven. and yeah maybe i couldve reheated the 3/4th pizza or the grilled cheese in the oven, but then again the oven uses a lot of electricity. and my mom is always complaining that i turn the oven on, forget that its on for a while, and that im wasting electricity. and i was too tired and hungry to deal with that possibility. plus with the oven theres a chance i forget it too long or have it too hot and burn the food and that would just make me feel worse

but we dont have a microwave, because my mom thinks having a microwave leads to "eating more unhealthy foods that you just heat up" instead of "real food". so i didnt reheat any of my food. so i didnt eat it. it got to the point where it got cold and gross so i just threw it in the trash and hope my mom or grandma doesnt notice.

but if i had a microwave, i couldve reheated that food. and i couldve eaten it. ((and yeah, maybe i wouldnt have ate the whole thing, but maybe half at least? that counts right? well it dont really matter if it counts or not cause it didnt happen.))

and then maybe i wouldnt have been feeling like im gonna faint the whole day and maybe i wouldve gotten literally anything done instead of just scrolling on pinterest and youtube shorts for hours and feeling worthless. and maybe if i ate i wouldnt have hurt myself today

but nope. no microwave. it leads to "unhealthy" habits. i guess not eating enough to count as even ONE full meal is healthier since its not "microwave food"

thanks mom

#tw eating issues #tw self harm #btw to my irl friends. if you see this no you did not #sorry honey if you see this. cause i know you like my mom and think shes really nice #which she is!! most of the time aha #the hurting myself happened bc i usually have sprinkled cheese on my macaroni and meatballs #but i used all the cheese in the sandwich that i binned #which made me feel like such a fucking idiot and a waste #so i started crying #and i took the metal lid from the boiling macaroni pot and pressed it to me leg for like 10 seconds straight #fun fact: im really good at muffling any sound when im in pain. haha #it didnt feel like enough though. my knife drawer had stuff infront of it but theres a loose screw on my table #so i ripped that across my skin a couple times #some blood came out but not “enough” pain #so then i had the very strong urge to hurt MORE #and intrusively imagined what id be like to take a knife and drive it into my stomach #which was a little shocking cause i havent had THAT thought in a while #AND THEN i remembered i have my swedish final on monday and i have to make a speech and i havent even chosen a topic yet #and that ill have to meet the swedish teacher that is the reason for the only times i have ever cried or cut at school #and then i had another like... daydream hallucination thing about telling my asshole swedish teacher #that the reason i dont have a speech is cause i realised id see him on monday and wanted to kms :3 #kinda still feel like cutting and i scratched myself with the sharp screw a bit more but at least venting about this helped a little #yall if i look my teacher in the eyes and tell him he makes me want to kms and that his behavior and attitude HAS made me cut myself #and that i pray to god he treats his own children better than he treats his students #think hed let me skip the test? yes or no? #god i feel so dizzy rn #but i dont wanna make more food and have to throw it away. i wish we had snacks in this house #wish’s whispers #personal vent #this was a lot of tags aha

[arklay]

WIP DAY.

tagged by @girlbosselrond @morvaris @aartyom @risingsh0t @phillipsgraves @leviiackrman @indorilnerevarine & @denerims over the past month! sorry it's taken me so long to get to anything at all, i'm sure you guys have heard me address it enough, but thank you all so much for continuing to tag me in things while i've been inactive ♡

tagging @aelyosos @brujah @calenhads @florbelles @jendoe @lightwardens @liurnia @nokstella @nuclearstorms @shadowsofrose @shellibisshe @steelport @swordcoasts @wrymbloods @voerman & all of those who tagged me again cause i'm so behind + anyone else who'd like to share anything they're working on, not just writing! ♡

i haven't written anything since the last wip game i did, but i started trying to put diana's timeline together at the start of january, so i mean... i'll show that instead. as you can see, fatigue hasn't let me do much with it even though i've got all of her timeline already done and strewn about all over the place.

started with 1995 onwards cause it was originally going to be an ewskers timeline situation, but then wanted to include all of her backstory so i went back to the start and still have the late 80s and early 90s to get through before then, but yeah :]

it's going to include like all little moments i've thought of between the ewskers just for me and placing them on the timeline, so you can imagine how long this is going to get if i have to go to 2021 for village... like just 1996-1998 is going to be so much... she's very special to me if you couldn't tell already lmaoo

never sharing this though, it's just for me, and like will help for when i do her timeline page (more in-depth version of what's on her oc page) to just run through canon events and brief descriptions and whatnot. you understand.

everything is blurred out besides 1995 ewskers momence and the years, just cause like idk her i feel weird sharing her in-depth backstory unless it's in dms or something, just cause there's lots going on there and yeah. things. idk

i also made a carrd for twt if you wanna have a look at that :] there's some cheeky subtle things with the two resi items i used as pics hehe

actually, you know what, i'll give a lil bit from where i left of with that rewrite anyways, even though it's been months since i wrote it. but why not

Wesker left a fleeting kiss behind her ear then reached around her and hooked his fingers beneath her coat, prompting Diana to glance back at him. But all he did was gently pull it from her shoulders. She watched him from out of the corner of her eye as he hung it up on the rack by the door, his movements careful and almost calculated, until he turned back towards her, and the warmth of his body returned once more. He pressed up against her side this time, as opposed to her back, and one of his hands found a home on her waist. The way the arm it belonged to was resting firmly against her as he began leading her towards the kitchen was comforting, secure, yet unmistakably possessive. And she revelled in it. He had quite the knack for handling her just the way she wanted.

#tag games. #keep going to do picrews and just zoning out 😭 i'm so behind on literally everything but it's fine it's okay (lying) #i'm having a day and a half even though i woke up feeling okay but oh well. my last month has just been like watching videos during the day #or playing games when i have a bit more energy but like i can't do anything that requires me to actually read or write things like words #are just not computing in my brain at the moment but it's okay like i'm just exhausted and hoping soon i can get back to writing because i #still have over 30 wips going lmao but yeah it's been a time a half with lots of appointments and seeing specialists again and trying to #sort things out. i've been more active on twitter which i've mentioned before but it's just because like it's easier for me to sort of just #like and rt things and not having to do my organisation tags and things like i know that sounds so just small and simple but that's how #i've been lately like to my brain rn that seems like a really big task. so i just keep coming on here randomly for a few minutes then #disappearing so i'm sorry that i've definitely missed so much and i haven't been around to just show my appreciation and love to your #creations!! also just everything that happened in december and then a bit at the start of january too like i'm just a lil paranoid about #being on here honestly so i'm trying to get back to it and be okay with posting again and i'm going to make a promise to myself to actually #filter more tags i think? just to help me with like not exposing myself to things that do make me feel uncomfortable in any way!! i'm #rambling now but sorry sometimes i just need to lmaooo idk but yes so cute lil subtle things from my carrd i wanna talk about cause why not #i didn't have to change the blue herb from re0 besides making it brighter because it's already teal toned which is so sexy but i shifted #the hue on the spade key like SLIGHTLY like it was so little. but anyways. i use this emoji ✨ on my twitter name and yes cause sparkles but #also. three stars. the s.t.a.r.s. badge and logo :] then blue herb because i will have no poison in my safe space!!!! take a blue herb or #leave please!! only good vibes and safe space here!! spade key because i'm ace <3 i was going to include the diamond one in there as well #because am demiro and like those are the symbols in the community. ace of spades for ace. diamond for demis (both orientations) #but wasn't sure how to weave the pink through the rest of the carrd even though cyan and pink together is so pretty omg

[pepprs]

mutuals i got myself into a situation so sticky i don’t even know how to describe it (edit: *describes it* lol). please send thoughts of successful escape my way lol

#purrs #delete later #i SONT understand anything about retirement or insurance whatever and basically imightve signed a contract for smth i didn’t understand #fully and im so scared lol. and i feel so bad bc im stupid and i don’t understand anything and no matter how much peopel #xolain it to me i don’t understand it. i feel like a stupid silly naive little girl rn LOLLLLL i feel so sick #it’s probably fine and not that bad and i didn’t do the wrong step but im freaking out. not just bc of the money situation but also bc they #have to do a. medical exam on me to see how much i would have to pay or whatever 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃 wtf #im making it sound like a big bad scary freak thing isigned up for when really it’s not i don’t thin&. it’s just dividend lige insirance but #i don’t understand what any of it means and apparently other stuff is better. idk anything about retirement i only got into this stupid #situation because i had a mandatory retirement selection for work and ididnt understand anything so i scheduled a meeting with a retirement #counselor person to help me figure out which option would be the best for me and he was really nice and helped me a lot but then he started #saying he could help me w additional retirement stuff if i wanted to see what the options were and i was like sure and then he told me abt t #this thing and had me fill out / sign the application in that same meeting to ‘get the process started bc it takes. a long time’ even if i d #decided to pull out later it would be a good thing to get the ball rolling asap if i did end up wanting to do it. but i didn’t understand an #anythi ng and i went along with it anyway and now i might’ve fucked myself over so bad. except i probably didn’t but i feel so bad. bc he wa #was so nice and genuine but maybe he was just trying to sell me a product bc he gets a commission from the insurance company which i he told #me wheni asked him if im getting his help for free. i feel so stupid and guilty omg #and also i signed up for my first credit card but the interest rates are really high which i didn’t realize. and i can’t log into the bank a #account for some reason liek it says my acc doesn’t work. and hr fucked up my pay so i haven’t gotten a time sheet for like 2 pay periods an #and im getting retroactively paid in august but it’s just one more fucking thing and i haven’t gotten the chance to pick new benefits yet #and idk if i can / will bc of my stupid pay situation like i literaly don’t exist in the system rn apparently. i fucking hate all of this i #hate adulting i hate it i hate it i want to explode and hide forever and cry a lot. and my bank account isn’t even my own rn and i don’t und #understand anything about mony or insurance or benefits or credit cards or anything. im so overwhelmed FUCK

[phantom-does-a-thing]

out of topic, but i was listening to your adventure playlist and some of the songs there reminded me of the mechanisms, have you heard of them? if not, maybe you'd like them! tis music! with lore! and angst! and queer people! canon queer people!

WQOAH ive never heard of them I will check them out

#maybe not rn bc i am really tired #but I will keep it in mind #tbh I probably wouldnt recognize half the artists that are ON my ghost playlistr #If youre talking about my ghost playlist #bc I literally will just add any song that sounds kinda good and can be associated ghosts or death #lua tag #asks #rambling #phever dreams with phantom #mutuals

[bogos-bint3d]

Oooooooo you wanna find me great incredible Undyne centric content that I haven't seen before and will be consumed by ooooooooooo

#i say this because you genuinely cannot understand just how insane over her i am that i have legitimately seen almost all the interesting- #-content about her #i am not fucking kidding #if its on like the first 3 pages of anywhere ive searched for her ever. i have seen it. tumblr youtube ao3 google i HAVE SEEN!!!!!!! #ok well not as much with ao3. simply because im always searching for something specific on there. so like. there probably will be some- #-really good things on there i havent seen yet #but still. i have very high standards if there is anything I don't like ill spontaneously combust #and im legitimately like 94% i know literally every single thing about her mentioned in the game. so you wont be able to surprise me with- #-anything there either. but also you never really know so #i mean yeah just feel free to talk to me about her at any time. I wont be able to start the conversation. because like i just cant #but if you mention something interesting enough in the first sentence ill probably be able to keep the conversation going for a good while #sorry i probably sound really rude and snobbish rn cause im all like ''ugh i already know everything im so smart'“ #''whatever show me will be beneath me'' BUT I SWEAR THAT IS NOT HOW IM TRYING TO COME OFF #IM REALLY REALLY SORRY I JUST GENUINELY DO NOT KNOW HOW TO GET ACROSS HOW I N E E D IT TO BE SOMETHING NEW AND SOMETHING THAT ILL REALLY- #REALLY WANT TO SEE #IM SO SO SORRY I HATE THAT I SOUND SO RUDE HERE I JUST. like guys i just really want to see something new‚ something thatll make me happy. #sigh #okokok. #all good guys #uhm. yeah. maybe if you find something maybe tell me but also idk because what if i already know about it then dont know what to say. i just #i j . i dont even know man #ok im done #undyne

[floralovebot]

I talk a lot about how different fanon!Helia is from canon!Helia but not enough but how bad it is for all the characters.

Like you have Riven going from this insecure teenage boy who lashes out at anyone who challenges him to this suave bad boy who could kill the winx. People seeing Stella as a stuck up brat, thinking that she loves Bloom more than the other winx, or that she would ever choose to be selfish in ways that hurt the other characters. Or Flora going from this fairly confident young girl who loves to meet new people and hangout with others to an introverted shy mess who never speaks up and would never say something sarcastic. Not to sound like a bitch but I really do think it's time the fandom stops pretending we're better than other fandoms and don't have Fanon Versions because we do and it's messing with y'alls perception of canon so fucking bad

#theres a time and place for fanon and its not pretending that fanon IS canon #and like listen #there's a big difference between having headcanons and fanonizing a character so badly that theyre basically a different character #im not saying its Bad to have headcanons or to disagree with canon #everyone does that its normal and healthy for fandoms #that sounded SO online good god #but also recognizing that your headcanons are Just headcanons is also necessary? #and recognizing that sometimes headcanons have been disproven by canon or aren't backed up at all #and not acting like your fanon version Is canon or is better than canon? #like genuinely think some of you dont even like canon winx and you just like the fanon versions of them in your head #like no sorry but flora isnt the fumbling shy mess who can't even speak to the others #stella isnt the dumb selfish princess who can't fight and wouldn't protect her friends #aisha isn't the Super Independent Woman who hates all men (also a very racist trope) #musa isnt that I Hate Everyone bitch who would dropkick the winx and physically abuse riven #i could go on and on like im sorry but the fanon versions of them are So Bad rn its so weird to me #like... fanon has always existed but i dont think its ever been this bad? usually Extreme Fanon only happened when someone hated a characte #like people usually only mischaracterize them when they Hate them but now im seeing people who Love them do it #i dont understand what happened why has fanon gotten so bad recently?? #also Im Sorry if any of this sounds targeted or extra bitchy i promise im not talking about anyone specific and im not Trying to be mean #i just really hate going into a character tag and seeing post after post of people going 'riven would kill sky if he got the chance' #and i dont mean the clearly joke posts i mean the Very Genuine Headcanon posts like what the FUCK are you people talking about #i genuinely think some of you got your degrees from the fanon university instead of the canon uni #please rewatch the entire first three seasons at your earliest convenience or your degree will be revoked #ajhdglagd #like not to sound mean but i think there was an influx of people who only vaguely remembered the show and got the rest of their info #from random tumblr posts instead of yknow. the actual show #oh i am very complainy today time to do something more productive and less chronically online

[kraviolis]

anyways i got sidetracked from what i was originally gonna post. now that im off my medication for the foreseeable future (with minor exceptions like whenever my mom shares their adderall with me) ive become more acutely aware than ever before exactly how genetically predisposed to addiction and substance abuse i really am

#krav talks #im actively craving alcohol at any time of the day #and only after i got drunk ONCE #the cravings arent severe but its more of like “man drinking would make me feel so much better rn a drink sounds so good” #sorta the same as basically craving like a donut or something #ive experienced this before with smoking when i was like 15 and stole a pack on my mom's cigarettes #i would have a smoke every morning when everyone was asleep but never developed a full addiction bcus i literally forgot where i put them #but that nicotine craving has never gone away #and ive kept a close eye on it since then bcus FUCK being addicted to nicotine that shit is so expensive #i literally cannot afford to be addicted to anything i can barely buy myself shampoo rn #but if someone offered me a cigarette.... yeah i'd take it #im doin the same thing with alcohol rn. well im being a little more indulgent #bcus alcohol isnt as cancer-inducing as smoking #and its more socially acceptable #but yknow. keeping an eye on it. being self-aware of my own habits. #last night i really wanted to drink but instead i had like 7 coffees so im all good #oh im 100% addicted to caffeine honestly #for a brief moment when i was 18 im pretty sure i was close to an adderall addiction #but then i stayed awake for 72 hours that one time and heard people whispering my name and thought my food was made of maggots & ants #so i cut that shit out for the most part. my brain functions & sleeping habits have never been the same since then :)