#anxious as hell

[perfectlyimperfectmuse]

I have a job interview this Wednesday omgomgomgomg and its so damn important! My anxiety and stress levels are through the fucking roof rn

#anxious as hell #panicking right now omg #i have to prepare what to say and shit and omg my head hurts already #job applications #job interview

[wokeuplaughing]

so when you quit smoking weed hardcore you get about a week of really bizarre dreams however my week of bizarre dreams has been like two weeks of them so I'm wondering what's rockin about in my neurochemistry to keep having these things

#really incredibly bizarre and vivid dreams I hate it #I wake up feeling super well rested lately but bro I was on the run last night in my dream #anxious as hell

[self-hatred-h00die]

im hanging out with niko tomorrow !!

#anxious as hell #i am so bad at interacting with new people

[jennyviviandee]

Panel from manga-ka Kiyohiko Azuma's Azumanga Daioh (1999-2002).

Miss Yukari Tanizaki on the right represents how mentally I should view resting. Such as today. On a day off from work which became quite a pattern of energy-sapping awfulnesss during the holidays persisting on being so.

Because work has insufficient associates for grocery, no assistant manager in said department, and a new store manager that just arrived. Jinkies, that's a ton of transitions at once! Also, on top of everything else, I'm the only pure grocery stocker due to the other two playing dual roles (cashier, working in Vitamins). In short, work, at the moment, completely bites and destroys me: mentally, physically, emotionally, and socially.

However, my roommates have pointed out the store isn't hiring. If one checks. Perhaps it is hasn't updated yet though...?

*Fearfully, memories of seven months of unemployment come flooding back. That's what happened after my last job. ...That long of a drought was endured. I had to constantly fight for my unemployment money whilst I filled out so many applications (hundreds) resulting in few interviews until, finally, this specific interview for my current job I've obtained*

Conversely, Minamo "Nyamo" Kurosawa is accurately indicative of how my brain treats me concerning resting.

As in, I don't deserve it. In the slightest. Contribute to society daily, don't be home. Your lone value is your job: otherwise you are worthless garbage.

Don't get ill, we need you! You're part of this family! Wipe that visible tired drool from under your mask during a killer pandemic and keep on working!

I mean if I do legitimately become sick with something significant, we'd be severely financially crippled.

How many of us are one lost paycheck from such catastrophic ruin I wonder? Thanks to rent costs? Health or vehicle stuff? Too many I'd guess sadly.

Yes, I must get the forced capitalist system lobotomy, catch virtually no Z's, work until I'm sleep-standing or have an utter tear-inducing mental breakdown from too much stress versus genuinely resting.

...Even bloody now, all I can think about is how tomorrow is gonna completely suck. When I should be, without a doubt, slumbering by now (I'm so drained). Thanks to my scheduled commencement being later. When 8 hours was already killing us for truck days.

Still, remember, we all deserve rest. I deserve rest. Y'all deserve rest.

#azumanga daioh #yukari tanizaki #nyamo #personal #neurodivergent #absolutely exhausted #retail #journal #anxious as hell #kiyohiko azuma #captialism #minamo kurosawa #mental health #manga panel #resting #job loss #unemployment #covid 19

[asteriasgarden]

been anxious sick all week about getting my driver’s license, so shoutout to the kid in front of me who literally came in his pajamas. i will aspire to be as relaxed as him, and i am going to be reading fanfics until further notice

#this kid gets it #this sucks #anxious as hell #but i got fanfics #at least its something #wangxian fics #it’s therapy #it’s free therapy #even better #ao3 #god bless ao3 #thank you for your service

[godmakeme00000000lbs]

Trying to do everything one thing at a time.

I've had awful anxiety and i haven't been getting out of bed so i'm at least going on a walk every day this week. I haven't drank water for weeks ,apart from in my tea, so i'm going to have at least a litre everyday too. Next week i'm going to eat cleaner because even on days i haven't ate a lot it's still been junk and i can feel it. I'm tired all the time, my skin is bad, my teeth aren't as white as usual. I've also been on my phone way too much (#phoneaddiction) so I'm also going to start reading, playing with the baby (my cat), hopefully write, go outside more. My head feels so cluttered right now, i have so much on my mind i don't want to talk to anyone about anything because i just want to cry and sleep so i'm going to do my little tasks and chores and also make hygiene more of a priority. Unfortunately i am one of those people who stop taking care of themselves in the most simple, everyday ways whenever i start to feel even a little down. That's just not gonna cut it for me because i hate how i feel when i don't shower or brush my teeth and i also have braces so i literally can't not brush them (but apparently i can because last month was awful).

I just don't want to be depressed and embarrassed of myself anymore.

#depressed again #i love depression #anxitey #anxious as hell #i want to diiieeee #get it together

[isitovernow]

it may be september but I am not feeling any better

#anxious as hell

[anakirui]

hot take ??

the only reason people say that "mafuyu and tsukasa have nothing in common" when presented with mafukasa parallels is because they equate mafuyu and tsukasa being similar to "tsukasa has depression" because the fandom equates mafuyu's personality to being depressed and nothing else.

it doesn't help that people (primarily younger people in the fandom) who DO believe in mafukasa parallels end up making the mistake of portraying tsukasa as depressed because as of right now he is not (although it's possible he was in past because of his Very Unclear Middle School Backstory but that's irrelevant)

anyways, mafuyu and tsukasa are narrative foils because their core personalities are built off of the concept of wanting to make the people around them— especially their families— happy.

they both developed personalities at a young age based on someone they looked up to. for tsukasa, it was seiichi amami's performance that inspired him to be a star— a hero that could cheer anyone up. for mafuyu, it was her mother taking care of her that inspired her to be a nurse— and you can see the similarities from there.

for mafuyu, her identity would first come into conflict when her mother expressed her want for mafuyu to be a doctor— suddenly, "everyone's" happiness didn't match what she wanted to do, leaving her in a state of disorder and eventual depression.

for tsukasa, his identity was something he nearly forgot in its entirety at the start of the main story— becoming arrogant and fully absorbed in a hero persona, forgetting the kind person he truly is. furthermore, his current character arc seems to be foreshadowing that what "being a star" to him is going to be called into question— maybe it is something more than just being the main character that saves everyone.

their insecurities are incredibly similar.

in mafuyu's first mixed, mafuyu feels insecure towards ichika because unlike ichika, she feels as if her lyrics have no genuine meaning to be expressed to other people— despite them being her very real feelings. this is brought up again in her second mixed as well.

in tsukasa's third focus event, something similar happens. when watching seiichi's performance, he thinks that his acting is "real" and feels inferior towards him, which is ironic because tsukasa has been method acting this whole time. when tsukasa is acting out rio or bartlett or really anyone at this point in the story, it's not just those characters— it's a reflection of his traumas.

just like mafuyu, tsukasa undermines his passions he's poured his feelings into because someone else's work is more genuine in his eyes.

now, then, foils have many similarities and parallels (and i could honestly list a lot more), but how i define them is that they usually have some kind of major branching difference that MAKES them foils.

for mafuyu and tsukasa it's pretty straightforward.

mafuyu's people pleasing behavior comes from external expectations and pressures— her mother's demands.

tsukasa's people pleasing behavior comes internally, from himself— if he can't meet his own standards, if he can't be the perfect big brother or the perfect star, then he is nothing.

and even then, there's some overlap.

tsukasa's behavior was indirectly encouraged by his mother praising him for being a "good big brother" over the phone instead of asking him if he was okay while home alone.

mafuyu's terrified to be herself around other people because she doesn't want to worry or bother them— she doesn't want to be a burden— and projects her mother's expectations onto them, not realizing that they would prefer the real mafuyu if they knew the truth.

and the concept of mafukasa being foils is most perfectly and blatantly portrayed in these two cards.

mafuyu, the marionette, sitting limp on the floor— puppeteered by her mother's demands and donning a mask to hide her true self.

tsukasa, the jester, standing above everything else— puppeteering silenced plushies— his feelings. he's not being completely honest with himself, and he doesn't even realize it.

mafuyu has cut her strings and ripped her mask in half. she has acknowledged her true feelings and expressed them to her mother, even if she had to run away in the end.

tsukasa has not yet cut his.

#project sekai #colorful stage #prsk #tsukasa tenma #mafuyu asahina #mafukasa #theres also obvious ones im sure you all know. like how theyre the sole sekai creators #or their designs paralleling eachother (color schemes of their eyes and hair) #or how theyre both connected to the moon and bunnies #and how theyre connected by a piano with a moon design thats only shown up in mafuyus 2nd mixed and tsukasas 2nd mixed... where they had #their first mixed events together #or how they both easily overwork theirselves #or how theyre almost always projecting onto other people as if their experiences are the norm #ex: tsukasa with rui in wonder halloween and mafuyu with niigo in main story #I CAN GO ON ABOUT THIS FOR HOURS AS YOU CAN SEE . #EDIT: HERES SOME MORE THAT I DIDNT REMEMBER AT 12 AM LAST NIGHT #theyre both connected to apples! points at tsukasa in fixer 2dmv and points at mafuyu2 #literally all of their vocaloids parallel eachother. #wxs and n25 miku have a childlike sense of curiosity #wxs and n25 rin are based off someone that isnt them for the most part (saki and ena) #wxs and n25 len are both anxious and pessimistic (in island panic... wxs len has a conflicting pov from meiko and wants wxs to just stay in #the sekai instead of being stuck out on an island... which is kinda escapist as hell) #wxs and n25 meiluka have conflicts that are very similar. n25 meiluka represents mafuyus inner conflict between isolating herself and #helping everyone because she didnt know what would be better #and wxs meiluka is the conflict between tsukasas ambition and his fatigue #which is why wxs meiko always acts like wxs luka is a burden whenever she falls asleep— tsukasa himself wont rest #not when he thinks it will burden other people #and wxs and n25 kaito are both driving forces in tsukasa and mafuyu accepting their true feelings #(although tsukasa is kinda not where mafuyu is yet i think you get what i mean) #EDIT: 5/22/24 I CANT ADD ANYMORE TAGS FUCK

[haunted-xander]

What's there to be afraid of?

#i think her 3 years w thancred were a special kind of hell but i think thry had good moments too #i mean ryne very clearly admires and looks up to him even when hes fucking everything up #and shes never shown being scared of him #at most shes nervous or anxious #the closest to her being scared of him weve seen is right after we save her from capture #and shes nervous when she admits she ran off bc she didnt think thancred would let her go #but thats just being worried about ur parents scolding u which everything has felt at some point #that said i do think she recognises that thancred COULD be scary #and probably is to some people #but shes never seen him that way #tho tbf her point of reference is ran'jit who is far more intimidating than thancred could ever be #so really i think her scale of whats scary or not is kinda skewed #ryne waters #thancred waters #final fantasy #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv #ff14 #ffxiv #art #my art #xanders art #digital art #fan art #xander being insane about ryne

[courtmartialme]

diversity wins! this war criminal is trans 🥳🏳️‍⚧️

late pride month art for myself because even though riza isn’t trans or even a man in canon(and i don’t even want/need it to be) this AU means so much to me!! getting to explore gender and aspects of transition through my favorite blorbo is great and nice and makes me feel happy and much more comfortable thinking about these things!!! i love riza :)

#fma #riza hawkeye #transmasc riza #i always avoided looking up transition stuff for mysef because it made me anxious as hell but i love learning about it for Him.. #the power of Love

[undead-knick-knack]

Excuse me! He asked for no pickles

Don't worry about where the boxes came from 😘💙💚

#dorian's charisma may be 16 and a prince but he's still an anxious boy #critical role #critrole #critrole memes #cr3 #cr c3 #bells hells #bell's hells #dorian storm #orym of the air ashari #dorym #dorian x orym #orym x dorian #he asked for no pickles #reusing a meme i did for laudmoore because having orym stand on boxes for it was too funny to not do #cr memes #cr shitpost #courtesy of me #cr campaign three #crit role #critrole meme

[remington-zero]

pretending my oc had a menswear photoshoot for a magazine

#nero huntington #art only #bc of the setting of the rp comm he was in he's technically super duper famous #but he is extremely socially anxious and he physically hides from cameras behind other people despite being the tallest in the lineup #anyways charity photoshoot benefiting a wolf sanctuary is the only reason he'd do this #also getting to hang out with wolves #i need to practice animals more #also hey! i've been working on stuff that i'm not allowed to post! my life is hell! i'm dying inside #i'm going to be working on merch soon hopefully #i'll at least be able to post processes on patr*on

[jennyviviandee]

Anytime I get a little bit happy or something good occurs in my life, my brain always shifts to "This won't last", "Only temporary: like your existence", or "A terrible change is coming soon isn't it?"

...Wish it didn't do that. I despise that this mentally happens to me. Always.

#personal #neurodivergent #journal #lgbtq #absolutely exhausted #anxious as hell #depression

[royalarchivist]

[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]

Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me – I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?

[ Transcript continued ↓ ]*

–

Pac: Actually– that's fine! I embrace that idea – of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.

Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!

Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.

* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.

#Pactw #QSMP #Pac #March 18 2024 #As much as I love keeping people updated about Pac / the other Portuguese-speaking creators #I think I might not make as many transcribed posts for their clips anymore #I just don't think I'm qualified enough to be transcribing things for a language I don't know #like yeah we have the Qlobal Translator and Aypierre's translators to rely on #And I'm always upfront when I'm not 100% sure about a translation #but I've been thinking about it a lot and it kinda makes me feel a bit icky. Idk. #I might be overthinking this but I just I don't want to spread around translations I'm not super confident about #esp. since I know a lot of people cite my clips in analysis posts or link them to other people as resources #and 90% of the time I'm like ''Hell yeah I love seeing people getting a lot of use out of the archive'' #but sometimes I get a bit anxious like ''Did I do a good enough job translating this'' #''Am I ruining someone's entire perception of a conversation or character because I left one word out or mistranslated something?'' #And like I said that's normally not a HUGE concern since if I'm not certain about a translation I just won't post a clip. but you know #idk it might just be the anxiety talking but I really really don't want to spread bad info #Happy to hear other folks' perspective #I'm really grateful for people like Bell and Pix and others who translate clips and I always try to reblog those #but we don't have a ton of people posting clips & translating things on Tumblr since we're so English-centric #which is part of the reason WHY I like sharing clips of the non-English-speaking CCs #but at the same time I want to do an accurate job representing what they're saying #Maybe I'll just start posting things and give a TLDR context of what they're talking about but not a transcript #that way native-speakers can hop in and add translations if that's something they're comfortable doing #and if not then well. at least I'm not sharing something that isn't super accurate #idk I'm just thinking out loud a bit in the tags #But I'm open to hearing other people's thoughts on the matter #Anyways giant rant aside. q!Pac is NOT doing ok rn

[rollforjackass]

look we all know that aziraphale is mr. fiddlesticks-not-fuck and dearie-me-good-gracious, but my favorite thing about him is that there is also, at all times, a fuck-shit little bastard inside of him just begging to be let loose. he's petty, he's passive aggressive, and the Second he decides that playing by heaven's rules isn't going to help anybody, it's all "i know who you are, you idiot!" and "you STUPID man" and "FUCK"

#i'm so passionate about his portrayal in the book as this glass-closeted dickhead and i will advocate for it every day of my life #he and crowley would literally never have worked if aziraphale wasn't a little mean and conniving himself #i mean the man Disappears people who try to coerce him into selling his shop for god's sake #he is Known for scowling and skulking and being rude as hell to everyone who so much as thinks about buying a book from him #and we all saw how much he Enjoyed taunting beelzebub & michael in the bathtub scene #and yes at the same time he is kind and darling and anxious and proper and everything we love about him #but by GOD i live for the moments where he's just a little bit of an asshole just because he can be #imo michael sheen absolutely Nailed the aura of the lovely (slightly bitchy) old queen whose customer service voice doubles as a threat #aziraphale #good omens

[ind1c0lite]

(Basic context is that AU of Duel Desinties where the phantom impersonates Phoenix to get him found guilty of Clay's murder, I talk more under the cut abt it jkhlj)

-Basically meant to be a parallel to turnabout trump, cause if you can have ONE boss get found guilty of murder, why not a second one?

-OK basically: everything in DD happens normally until like- a day before clays murder, Phoenix gets yoinked by the phantom somehow (he is still alive, just being held captive), Phantom is still Fulbright, but they've decided to be silly goofy (target Phoenix and get him found guilty of murder, escape police custody and then murder phoenix and make it seem like Phoenix accidentally died while on the run, thats why they didn't kill phoenix right away unlike the real Fulbright) there is an imposter amo-

-I dont have the logistics as to how this affects solving Metis's murder, and how it effects what evidence is used n whatnot and turnabout for tomorrow as a whole, so im just going nuts HGJKHLJ

-Originally I was actually imagining this taking place during turnabout for tomorrow and I wanted that case to be apollo v klavier instead of phoenix and edgeworth and thats why klav is in here instead of Simon (I decided that Simon got badly injured and couldn't stand in court for the retrial, so klavier was asked to step in)

-The courtroom bombing still happens the same way it does normally, but Apollo decides to take up the case again instead of taking a leave, instead of like, you know, healing from the traumatic event that just happened, turnabout countdown still happens as well

-Apollo and Athena do not find out about the phantom's existence until well after this trial, so they have no idea that Phoenix could've possibly been replaced, though simon, after hearing about the trial, might be suspicious about whether or not that was the real Phoenix

-The Phantom had been not only keeping an eye on Simon for a while, but was also stalking Phoenix and Edgeworth after they both started looking into UR-1, so they were able to impersonate phoenix so well that not even his own daughter thought that anything was up (though while Trucy did find him a *little* bit off, but she figured that it might've been the bombing that caused him to act ever so slightly weird, so she didn't pay much mind to it until she heard about his confession in court and realized it might've been because he possibly, ya know, killed someone)

-it's pretty much just switching Athena being framed for murder with Phoenix, and instead of the trial ending on a cliffhanger, it continues on (probably with Klavier insisting on it) ending with soloman being found innocent and Phoenix being declared guilty

-There's a couple days inbetween the end of the cosmic turnabout and the start of turnabout for tomorrow, so Athena, Apollo and Trucy all get a little bit to process the fact that "oh god my boss/my dad killed someone" (simons execution date is pushed back a bit in this au) and they probably get to talk with Klavier and eventually a lil bit with Simon after he gets out

-Im not sure how it all winds down in turnabout for tomorrow (Phoenix escaping and being at large is basically the perfect cover for the phantom to resume being fulbright for that trial) but they do eventually realize that the phoenix who confessed wasn't the real one and now there's a search on going to find out where the real one is being held captive, hes fineeee just ready to take a week long nap and a good vacation (along with every other waa member)

-I dont have anything else to add on rn but if you want to add something or just throw in a scenario feel free to!! this idea has been bouncing around my head for like a month now and Im very happy to finally show yall it

#ace attorney #ace attorney dual destinies #apollo justice #athena cykes #klavier gavin #phoenix wright #copycat au #indys art #apollo faints like- 0.5 seconds after the verdict is called which is very understandable #Apollo and Athenas horrible no good very bad court trial #and klavier isn't fairing any better tbh HJGKHL #no one is doing well at all and it gets worse before it gets better hjgkhl #Im both very excited but also TERRIFED posting this #I rarely try to actually write actual serious dialogue for characters cause im not a writer-so im hoping it's like- halfway decent HGJKH #I may be anxious as hell but Im going to be very brave and post this instead of- not doing that HJGKHL #I also tried to push myself a bit with this one so I included more panels to work on and coloured it #I like how it came out though!! #I hope u enjoy <3 #also if something doesn't make sense blame it on the fact that I wrote the caption and these tags at like 2:30 am