#anti rosalie/emmett

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

If vampires could not have sex, (the venom says it's a waste of time and eliminates all sex drive/ability to get aroused), would Bella still want to be a vampire or is that a deal breaker for her? Would she hate it, but become a vampire anyway bc she thinks if she says no then Edward will view her as a horny freak?

(Bonus: Would Emmet and Rosalie even have a relationship lol)

Hilariously, that's canon.

Bella's convinced in part unintentionally by Rosalie that upon turning she'll lose her sex drive and be only interested in blood for the foreseeable future/possibly forever. Bella, in fear that she'll no longer be attracted to Edward, pushes for the sex as a human in part because of this.

So, no, absolutely not a dealbreaker for Bella but she's going to double down on having sex as a human and tell herself that maybe in ten or twenty years it will come back! Sure, the other Cullens seem to be leading sexless lives, but Bella will be different! She loves Edward that much!

As for Rosalie and Emmett... you know, I'm not even sure, I think they'd be together but perhaps their relationship wouldn't be as strong as they spend their time only talking to each other instead and... that's a lot of talking to each other for them.

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #bella swan #rosalie hale #emmett cullen #rosalie/emmett #anti rosalie/emmett #meta #headcanon #opinion

[queenofglassbeliever]

Rosalie says she never loved Edward as anything more than a brother, but is mad when he shows no romantic interest in her.

She gets jealous when he shows an interest in Bella even though at this point she's been with Emmett for about 70 years.

She hates being a vampire, would rather have died, yet she asks Carlisle to turn a dying Emmett for her.

When asked by Edward what she would do if she were in Bella's position and Emmett in his, Rosalie can't give a clear answer. Some part of Rosalie would give up Emmett for a human life.

Rose has very little regard for human life. She only cares about the romanticized human life she lost.

She's about respecting choices, but only if it's a choice she agrees with. Rosalie supports Bella's choice to go through with the pregnancy, but only because it's something she would have personally done. Up until then, Rose has shown very little respect or care for Bella's choices. She tries to dissuade Bella, but never tries to understand Bella's POV.

I love Rosalie, but Smeyer made her so selfish and contradictory that loving her is really hard sometimes.

#the twilight saga #twilight #rosalie hale #rosalie lillian hale #twilight renaissance #midnight sun #twilight eclipse #breaking dawn #twilight books #bella swan #emmett cullen #edward cullen #carlisle cullen #anti smeyer

[restinslices]

(I swear to y’all, imma go back to Mortal Kombat. But I have to rant. Imma pretend it’s the early 2000s and rant about Twilight. If you’re pro any of the Cullens, don’t even read this)

I’m not saying Jacob should’ve kissed Bella, but my thing is this; Jacob kisses you and you call him a dog and say you hope Edward kills him. Edward has done foul shit the ENTIRE SERIES and you let him slide repeatedly. There’s this part where Bella gets mad and says something like “at least Edward an act like an adult”. Bitch. He IS AN ADULT. What do you mean? Bella is way more harsh when it comes to Jacob and I don’t get why she holds so much anger towards this child and holds him to this high standard but has none of these feelings when it comes to the old ass adult she’s with. Since I’m typing, Stephanie Myers is weird and idc what y’all say. I remember Bella described Leah as beautiful in an EXOTIC way. MA’AM? It feels like she realized how asshole-ish the Cullens are and tried to make the wolves seem worse but all I’m thinking is “they’re definitely in the right when it comes to not liking the Cullens”.

The wolves don’t like vampires because they’re a safety risk. The Cullens being there (keep in mind, they’re rich enough to leave and never come back) is triggering these young ass people to turn into wolves. The Cullens don’t like the wolves because?? They have no valid reason. Edward constantly says the wolves are dangerous and yeah, they’re not the safest to be around but compared to vampires they’re a lot safer. Bella has only been harmed by vampires and only the vampires have tried to end her life. James, Laurent, Jasper, Victoria, the new born army that’s forming, the Volturi. She’s only been in danger because of the wolves once. Like, I don’t get how Stephanie expects us to agree with Edward when there’s proof that the wolves are way safer. Not 100% safe but better than vampires. And while I love Seth, I swear Seth is the “you’re not like the others” character. They only like Seth because he doesn’t hold animosity towards them as if that animosity isn’t valid. It’s giving “you’re not like other blacks, you talk proper” (ik he’s not black, it’s an example). I’m finishing the books because I’m too deep to quit but I wish they let Victoria finish the job.

#anti cullen #anti edward cullen #anti carlisle cullen #anti esme cullen #anti alice cullen #anti jasper cullen #anti rosalie cullen #Emmett is the only Cullen I like rn but that can change #I know it is 2024 but listen- #anti bella swan #twilight #Slices Speaks

[waldensblog]

So I finished New Moon as part of my twilight re-read, and... I kinda violently dislike the Cullens now? And I am absolutely 110% on Charlie and the Wolves side. Long ass rant below the line.

Bella gets a papercut at her 18th birthday, and is about to be murdered for it. Edward is completely 100% right on the car-ride back that if she went to Angela’s house or something, this shit wouldn’t have happened. So at first it’s like “oh good, Edward realizes this is very bad for her, since he does love her, he’s going to make the selfless choice and leave.”

And then this motherfucker manages to find a way to do in a selfish-ass manner. He barely says two words to her for DAYS and tells his entire family to skip town without saying ONE WORD to this girl whose grown very attached to all of them - especially Alice. Apparently she wanted to say goodbye but Edward decided it’s better this way. Now... it’s easy to just be mad at Edward for that, but no. I’m furious at all of them, Alice included. She could have ignored Edward, told him that’s a dickish move, and said goodbye in person, or SOMETHING. Like Charlie says SOME WARNING WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE. 

And then Edward, Mr. “Don’t go into the forest please, it’s dangerous” decides the best way to break up with Bella is to... bring her into said forest when breaking it off and leave her there. He even takes the fucking time to forge a note saying where Bella went - maybe because he knew she’d end up on the forest floor like that? Edward... what the actual fuck? No really, why not break up with her in her BEDROOM where she’ll lie in her bed, be safe... this is just... dude... wtf. 

Bella is then depressed for MONTHS on end, and Charlie is doing his fucking best. Unfortunately Bella never did get to have a slumber party with Jess and Angela, honestly - I think that would have helped so much. She spent so much time being depressed, feeling there was a hole, etc. and never got to the stage of being angry - furious, at all of them. She wouldn’t have needed to give details, she could have just gone on a tangent about the literal leaving-her-completely-out-of-the-blue, while Angela nodded and Jessica fist-pumped like she’s at a fucking rave. I was robbed, robbed of this possibility. Rather than go through that kinda healing, she basically ignores all her friends. 

And I think Bella was honest-to-god enthralled. She refers to it in Twilight as Dazzling, and we see that vampires have this uncanny ability to persuade someone - nurses, waiters, teachers, etc. whether they are conscious of it or not. I can’t help but think that when Edward decided he was going to talk to Bella, try and date her - he enthralled her (whether he knew it or not), and that’s why she just can’t get past it. She should be furious at him, but she isn’t.

Bella ends up spending time with Jake - at first she’s kind of using him, she wants the motorcycles to get hallucinations of Edward, which - Girl, get therapy, please. But over time she really grows fond of him, they become best friends, and I can actually see her falling in love with him. I know Meyer clarifies on her website that she did fall in love with him in New Moon, and I can fucking see it. 

At first she tells him she doesn’t share his feelings, but then she says “Maybe I could” and compares him to Paris - I don’t like that she’s seeing him as 2nd choice, but it’s clear that she does love him. He is her sun, he makes her feel whole again, she becomes a “wolf girl”, standing there in her dream beside Emily, another “wolf girl”. He puts his arm around her, holds her hand, calls her “honey”, others say she’s his “girlfriend”, and she doesn’t decline it. Then Mike straight up asks “are you dating him?” and Bella answers “not in the technical sense”. I’m sorry but... an answer like that is... she loves him, but is afraid to move on. She even then almost does - they almost kiss in his car when Alice shows up.

And of course... Bella, enthralled as she is, decides to go to Alice. Personally, if my 18-year old ass had been in that car with Jake deliberating “shift or get her to safety” and I saw Alice’s car, I’d have been like “Wait I know that car! Yeah let’s get the fuck out of here!!!” and held my middle finger to the window as he sped off. Like you really want to go see this “friend” who straight up ghosted you for months? Naw, not me. 

Jacob, despite being treated shittily, is more than understanding. I think the wolves are immune to enthrallment, and they can see it for what it is - so they try. Jacob comes back, he tries to talk to her, and they again, nearly kiss - it’s so close. But then shit happens, and oh no, Edward’s gonna kill himself because he’s a fucking drama queen. 

Bella, feeling responsible decides she must help. So she ditches Charlie, ditches Jacob, and runs off. 

When she comes back with Edward in toe? Oh.my.god. the rage, the seething from Charlie, like... I get it. I feel it. I side with it. Charlie straight up asks like... how dare you show your face? And no really, how dare he? Dude ditches town with no word, leaving Bella an absolute mess, then he brings her back after she ran off suddenly. Like from Charlie’s POV he’s gotta be thinking “Billy is fucking right, fuck this family.” Charlie then tries to forbid Edward from being in the house or seeing Bella, and she says no - obviously, being 18, he can’t make her do anything - but he’s concerned, and honestly, I’d be fucking concerned too. Her behaviour is irrational af from his POV. 

When Jacob shows up at the end, he isn’t even aware that Bella had been trying to call him. He thought Edward was controlling her movements - and again, it’s easy to see why he thinks that. From where he’s standing, Bella is enthralled, and is acting extremely irrationally. He’s trying to protect his best friend from what he sees as an obvious abuser, and the only way he knows how is to get her in trouble with the motorcycles (kinda odd to me that Charlie would ground Bella that specific way instead of letting her go to La Push, you’d think Charlie would be driving them together there frequently, but I digress). 

Jacob is sorry to get her in trouble, but he’s a 16-year old boy, and he’s doing his best. Then when Bella reaches out to him - Edward actually, literally, holds her back. How, exactly, is Jacob supposed to interpret this beyond Edward controlling her, even where she isn’t enthralled. Of course he’s pissed off. 

Of course all the wolves feel so strongly against the Cullens. Who found her on the forest floor, the dangerous-ass forest floor after Edward left her? Sam. Who was there for her when they weren’t, making her feel like a person again? Jacob. Who protected her from a vampire that the Cullens, as a collective, should have had the fucking brains to realize would absolutely come to Forks? The wolves. Who is responsible for these literal children shifting? The Cullens. Who has a ton of money and could easily do just about anything they want and decide to buy like 6 expensive cars and live in a mansion, hoarding their wealth? The Cullens. Who are immortal colonizers that damn well know what living there does? The Cullens. 

So yeah, my first time reading it, I was Team Jacob, but I didn’t hate all the Cullens. Now? Nah, fuck all y’all. Team Wolf pack, team Charlie, all the fucking way. Maybe I’ll feel differently after Eclipse, idk, but right now? Fuck them. 

#Twilight Saga #Twilight Renaissance #New Moon #Twilight reread #Bella Swan #anti Cullens #anti Edward Cullen #anti Alice Cullen #anti Emmett Cullen #anti Rosalie Hale #anti Jasper Hale #anti Carlisle Cullen #anti Esme Cullen #Team Jacob #Team Charlie #Team Bella

[gwyns]

E/riel’s are trying to say that Feysand are Bella & Edward, Nessian are Rosalie & Emmett, and E/riel are Elain & Azriel. Alice Cullen is outgoing, bubbly, and extroverted, but aren’t E/riel’s the same ones saying that Elain is shy, quiet, and introverted? Which one is it? Pick one.

weren't they just arguing tooth and nail that elain doesn't actually like parties or being a hostess or one of the many other canon things about her?

like i can't even be angry or anything, it's comedy at this point. they really need to check in with one another before they start all these claims. they're not sticking to the script

#im not a huge twilight fan or anything but nessian as rosalie and emmett? YES PLEASE. I LOVE ROSALIE SO MUCH #antielriel #anti e/riel #asks #anonymous

[sapphiredhearts-a]

ship tags with @antihcroes < 3

#☾ ` in the darkness all I see is you ; emmett x rosalie ( antihcroes ) . #☾ ` my nightmares are usually about losing you ; peeta x katniss ( antihcroes ) . #☾ ` love too big for a love song ; chandler x monica ( antihcroes ) . #☾ ` say the word and i'll go anywhere blindly ; rose x jake ( anti hcroes ) .

[snow-fire13]

Twilight

Edward: "Unfollow me if you think the Earth is flat."

Rosalie: seriously pretends to be a flat-earther to antagonize the anti-flat-earther.

Alice: neutral but makes polls to start fights, "Is the Earth flat? Let's discuss!"

Emmett: not a flat-earther but makes "the Earth may be flat but this ass ain't" jokes for viral tweets.

Jasper: actual flat-earther.

#twilight saga #twilight meme #twilight incorrect quotes #rosalie hale #edward cullen #emmett cullen #alice cullen #jasper hale

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

So I read your post about Rosalie becoming a vampire before Carlisle does, and you stated that she would not associate with vampires except for turning Emmett for...reasons.

Why do you think Rosalie turns Emmett in canon? And does this indicate the existence of "mates"?

Anon's referring to this post.

That's the thing, we're told about this incident in canon, and by all rights Rosalie herself doesn't seem to know. She just came across Emmett bleeding out in the mountains and wham, decided to carry him down the mountain herself, drop him on Carlisle's table, and scream, "YOU WILL TURN HIM!"

In the aftermath she reflects that she has no fucking idea why she did that or why she seems so attached to this man.

Her rationalization, later, is that Emmett looked like a grown version of her friend's baby, which in vampirism/the aftermath of what happened to her, she's come to associate with everything she's lost, wanted, and the child she will never have.

The thing is I really don't believe in mates, even with these two. It's more evidence than anyone else presents, but that they're the only couple who present any evidence is a damning sign.

I think it could have very easily gone sideways where Rosalie turns this stranger who it turns out she's not in any way compatible with (as in he instantly doesn't want her and has a very abrasive personality).

I'm going to go with Rosalie's explanation in that she was driven by this memory of her human life and the idea of watching this man, her friend's child, die was so horrifying to her she did this.

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #rosalie hale #emmett cullen #rosalie/emmett #anti rosalie/emmett #meta #headcanon #opinion #twilight shipping #shipping

[lavender-at-heart]

Velvet and Lace

Part 1 : The Invitation

----------------------------------------------------

Pairing: Aro Volturi × fem!OC

AN: while this is a oc series I am purposely limiting descriptive elements so it may be read as a reader insert. I don't know how long this series will be, I also haven't posted on here in so long. Please give me feedback and wish me luck! Thanks for reading/engaging!

Warnings: none for this chapter

Word count: 710

Masterlist

----------------------------------------------------

A year. I haven't been to Forks in a year. I spent my entire life thinking that it was everything, now I'm not so sure. I miss my home more than anything, but the wonders I have seen while away. I can only imagine what those quiet town folk will think of my stories. My reason for returning? An envelope that arrived to my hotel room in Bankok. Simple, off white paper with silver etchings that read the following:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Isabella Marie Swan

And

Edward Anthony Masen Cullen

Together with their families, request the honor of your presence at the celebration of their marriage.

Saturday the thirteenth of August, two thousand and eleven, five O'clock in the evening

420 Woodcroft Ave

Forks, WA

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I could hardly believe the words as they spilled from my mouth. My sister, married? My sweet, anti-social, 18 year old sister? Yes I'm aware that she had found herself a boyfriend, our phone calls over the past year have been of nothing else, it seems. It's so unlike her, but nevertheless I am giddy. Later that evening I recive a phone call from the bride herself, bestowing upon me the title of maid of honor.

When I first met Edward Cullen, I was surprised. I never had any classes with him since he was a grade bellow me, but he always seemed off. His whole family did, which became the talk of the town for months and months. The rest of his siblings seemed relatively well rounded, with sharp minds and passionate interests. I became acquainted with Emmett and Rosalie during our shared English class. Rosalie, while much more reserved than Emmet, was always helpful and kind. We never became friends outside of school but I was shocked to find out that she had a disdain for Bella (I would later realize that this was due to me not trying to stick my nose into vampire business, although I would have if I had known that the Cullens were supernatural beings.) Emmett was very sociable, we didn't have much in common but I was glad to have such a friendly classmate.

After the shock of the wedding died down, I booked a plane ticket home as soon as possible. My father, Charlie, would pick me up from the airport. I would get to see Bella. Gosh. I haven't seen her in person since I left. Bella, one year younger than me, has always lived with our mother. That was the agreement. She went of to sunny Arizona and I started in the rain. I always liked the rain though, and I always liked Forks. Right before I started grade 12, Bella moved here. And I loved it. I had never been happier. But that only lasted so long. Bella got caught up with her vampire-like boyfriend and I started feeling a horrible longing to leave. I made the decision, much to my father's dismay, to take a gap year. Travel. I had been working at the diner after school since grade 9 and I had saved almost all of the money I made. My favorite thing about Bellas new beau was his family. They were quite lovely people, although strange, and they helped me quite a bit with my travels. Alice, the only one who I had become moderately close to, aswell as Mr. and Mrs. Cullen, had filled my mind with many inspirations for my travels. They also gave me some extra money to help make it as fulfilling as possible, despite me protesting about 100 times. By the end of grade twelve I was itching to leave. My itinerary was stacked, I planned to stay in Europe for two months and the rest in Asia. I cherished the cathedrals in Germany , the busy streets in Mumbai, the quiet ashrams in India, sights of Nepal, Vietnam, Italy, France, and now Thailand. I have come away from this trip with a bigger sense of the world, and myself. But now I've grown rather homesick from shuffling village to village, my sense of adventure has been filled and I'm ready for peace and simplicity. I think I'm ready to go home. Little did I know that returning to the middle of nowhere, Washington, would lead me on the greatest adventure of my life.

END

Thanks for making it to the end! <3 -CC

#twilight #twilight fanfiction #twilight series #twilight oc #oc series #aro volturi #aro volturi x reader #aro volturi x oc #aro volturi fanfiction #aro volturi series #bella swan #bella swan x sister #michael sheen #michael sheen x oc #michael sheen x reader

[panlight]

Who is each Cullen’s favorite superhero? +Bella and Jacob

With the caveat that I'm not super involved in superhero fandom so the pool I can pull from are going to be pretty Mainstream.

I feel like Carlisle has enough moral gray area in his existence as a vampire, he doesn't need that in his superheroes. He likes the aspirational and inspiring goodness of someone like Superman. Someone using their powers to help others because they can.

Likewise I think Esme might go for the Classic do-gooder types, your Wonder Woman types. Your Super Girls.

I could see Rosalie relating more to some of the villains or anti-heroes like Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy and Catwoman. They are more complicated than a lot of the heroes and I think Rose could relate to them. Maybe someone like Black Widow, too.

Emmett loves them all? Marvel and DC and anything else. I could see him loving the Hulk for his strength but doesn't relate to Bruce Banner at all. Loving Thor for this strength and his energy. Loving Spider-Man for his youthfulness. I could see him really loving the humor of the more recent Thor movies too.

Who has the best costume/super suit? That might factor into Alice's decision. I think she leans more into the X-Men types than the more Classic Superman stuff though. Maybe Scarlet Witch?

IDK about Jasper. He's always the one I feel is the least connected to human pop culture. Like he's aware of it because of Alice and Emmett but he doesn't like, care all that much. Just sort of passively absorbs it. But I guess he'd gravitate toward those characters who maybe start out on the villain side and then slowly switch over to the heroes.

I feel like Jacob is a Marvel type rather than DC too. Obviously hates Batman. Too much vampire imagery. The bats. The black cape. Not the vibes. I guess maybe he'd relate to the Hulk in the sense that strong emotions can trigger a phase? But again I don't know that he'd see a whole lot of himself in Bruce Banner as like, a scientist and all that.

Bella seems well-versed in superheroes (probably because SM has said she liked them), referencing radioactive spiders and saying she doesn't want to always be Lois Lane, that she wants to be Superman too. I guess maybe her favorite used to be Superman because of the comparisons between Lois/Clark and Bella/Edward.

Edward's is Batman, obviously.

#asks

[virginiawerewoolfwazhere]

Twilight Is So Straight, It’s Gay: An Exploration of Camp and the Unintended Queerness of Twilight

Camp aesthetic is a visual movement that communicates appeal through what would be considered tacky iconography, prescribing value (whether good or bad) through the irony of ugliness or gaudiness.  It is theatrical, over-the-top, and dramatic. Campiness has long been tied inextricably to queer culture. Queer films little known to heteronormative society such as Debs, and, But I’m a Cheerleader, or even ubiquitous cult classics to the tune of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, and, Hedwig and the Angry Inch are undeniably campy. Within these works, the performance of heterosexuality is unsettling and seems unnatural due to the theatricality of the relationships (one only has to see But I’m a Cheerleader’s Natasha Lyonne drowning in the mouth of her character’s football playing boyfriend during a make-out session to see what I mean here). This type of camp is intentional and pointed. However, the performance of heteronormativity can easily fall into the realm of camp without intending to.

Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight Saga is never intentionally Queer; in fact, there’s not even a whiff of overt gayness to be found in the behemoth four book teen melodrama. Edward Cullen and the rest of his vampire family, as well as the rest of the town of Forks seem to be one hundred percent heterosexual. But since its release in 2008, and especially since the 2020 Twilight “renaissance”, Twilight has accumulated a steadfast and growing queer following, leading to packed midnight showings of the films, memes, fan art, and more. Twilight’s over-performance of heterosexuality whilst simultaneously destabilizing aesthetic gender constructs places the series firmly, if unintentionally, within the campy queer classics canon.

            Judith Butler’s Gender Trouble states,

“heterosexuality offers normative sexual positions that are intrinsically impossible to embody… both a compulsory system and an intrinsic comedy, a constant parody of itself…” (155).

Heterosexuality that does not have reproduction as a teleological goal is by nature not heterosexual, if society were to agree with the purpose of sexual desire as defined by anti-gay movements. In Twilight, the vampires are considered to be extremely sexually attractive, but in their current form, they cannot reproduce sexually. The relationships between vampires Alice and Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett, and, Carlisle and Esme, are now queer, because they are

“contesting the categories of sex or, at least, not in compliance with the normative presuppositions and purposes of that set of categories” (156).  

However, that’s not to say that sexual anatomy and reproduction defines gender or sexuality. For Butler, the performance of gender in queer relationships has to do with the destabilization of perceived gender constructs as they come into “erotic interplay” (157). A femme lesbian being sexually attracted to only cis-gendered women, but also being aroused by a butch lesbian’s performance of masculinity, is an example of that erotic interplay.  This becomes even more expansive in contemporary queer discourse, as we start to understand the performance of gender beyond the binary of men and women. Edward and Bella embody this destabilization through each of their gender crossing attributes. When Bella first witnesses Edward’s vampiric skin when it interacts with sunlight, she narrates,

“his skin, white despite the faint flush from yesterday’s hunting trip, literally sparkled, like thousands of tiny diamonds were embedded in the surface…his shirt open over his incandescent chest, his scintillating arms bare.” (Meyer 260).

Bella later goes on to say, “I would have liked to lie back, as he did, and let the sun warm my face. But I stayed curled up, my chin resting on my knees unwilling to take my eyes off of him” (260).

Edward becomes the object of sexual desire for Bella, subverting the narrative convention of the female being the focus of male desire.  

Masculine presenting people wearing glitter and being desired sexually is an intersection of the erotic interplay of gender performances. Edward is meant to be at his most beautiful when he’s in the sun. Meyer’s reasoning for his beauty is that it makes him, according to Edward himself, a perfect predator. He says,

“Everything about me invites you in – my voice, my face, even my smell” (263).

Meyer’s vampires use the erotic interplay of masculinity embodying elements of feminine presentation as an example of the ideal form of sexual desire, and therefore are able to seduce their prey before killing them. It is reminiscent, in some ways, of the seduction of Janet and Brad by Dr. Frank N. Furter, whose own drag aesthetic is considered to be erotic to all of the characters in The Rocky Horror Picture Show at one point or another.  

Edward and Bella are also transgressive due to the differences in their species. Edward states many times throughout their will-they or won’t-they courtship that their being together is a bad idea. In fact, he likens it to a predator falling in love with its prey; in the same scene where Bella sees his sparkly skin for the first time. He says,

“And so the lion fell in love with the lamb” (273),

noting the innate perverseness of their love. Vampire stories have been linked to queerness for nearly two centuries. Dracula leads the way with the homoerotic subtext between The Count and Jonathan Harker in Bram Stokers 1897 novel, something that is essentially canonized in the BBC adaptation from 2020. In the series, Sister Agatha Van Helsing asks Harker if he had “sexual intercourse with Count Dracula” and he remembers back to a dream he had at the castle where his sexual fantasies of Mina shift into a sexual fantasy of Dracula. The series ends with Van Helsing and Dracula together in their own sexual fantasy, which shows the way transgressive sexuality is eroticized in the vampire plot. Van Helsing hates Dracula for his cruelty, but is still attracted to him. Edward lacks Dracula’s cruelty, but his monstrous status has in actuality turned him into an ideal beauty. Bella is attracted to him in part because of his inhumanity, describing his face as angelic or godlike (Meyer 262). Her attraction to Edward is transgressive in a similar way Agatha Van Helsing’s obsession with Dracula is transgressive.

            In a pivotal scene in both the book and the later 2008 adaptation starring Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson, the vampire family plays a game of baseball together. The Cullen family can only play baseball during a thunderstorm, due to their super vampire strength (apparently they can hit a baseball hard enough to be mistaken for a crack of thunder, but yet the ball remains completely intact). Baseball seems to be a fairly all American, wholesome, straightforward activity. However, the way the Cullen family plays is decidedly theatrical. Everything they do is over the top and extra, from their vehicles;

“They circled around Rosalie’s red convertible, unmistakable lust in their eyes” (Meyer 222),

to Edward’s piano playing, to baseball. Everything is designed to make them stand out, and apart from the rest of the town. They are the monstrous other, even if they never actually drink human blood. Their everyday activities are performance.

            The Cullen family is theatrical in all things, but especially in romantic partnerships. The first night Bella and Edward ever spend together, she tells him that she loves him. He responds with,

“‘You are my life now’” (314),

which is an intense confession to make after one kiss and a sleepover. Throughout the rest of the novels, Edward and Bella remain obsessed with each other to the point of suicide. In the second installment, New Moon Edward believes Bella has died, and tries to kill himself. He says to Bella,

“I wasn’t going to live without you,” (Meyer 263).

In the last installment, Breaking Dawn, when Bella almost dies (again), he forms a suicide pact with Jacob where he wishes for Jacob to kill him if Bella doesn’t survive. He tells Jacob,

“the moment Bella’s heart stops beating, I’ll be begging you to kill me” (Meyer 70).

The theatricality of their relationship, along with the transgressive nature of the vampire plot, turns displays of heterosexuality into unintentional camp. This, paired with the erotic interplay of gender performances, shows us that Twilight is so straight, it’s gay.

[threebooksoneplot]

Episode 1: “We Like Mike” (Show Notes)

Content warnings: 

Skinhead discussion: 38:13—41:38 (racism, xenophobia, nazism, anti-semitism, brief discussion of 2012 mass shooting 40:00—40:18)

Discussion of Edward wanting to murder his class: 54:10—end

[00:03:56] Damn Shannon I don’t recall burning YOUR crops poisoning your well razing your house to the ground and salting the earth

[00:06:16]

[00:06:20] Read Lexie’s fic here!

[00:07:28] Lexie’s social media handles: AO3, fanfiction.net, tumblr

[00:08:06] Ashley Greene’s NFT. (Ashley Greene is the actor who played Alice in the Twilight movies, for anyone not in the know. Also note that we recorded this episode in April, shortly before the great NFT crash)

[00:11:16] Transcript of Shannon’s Life and Death summary:

Beaufort Swan “Beau” moves from Phoenix, Arizona to a small town called Forks, Washington to live with his father, Charlie, after his mother, Renee, gets remarried. He is decidedly not fucking happy about it and is loathe to be in Forks despite taking it upon himself to lie to absolutely anybody who asks him about it (ever the martyr.) While there, he struggles with the inadequate experience of what we know is called “being a goddamn teenager.” He crosses paths with a mysterious and not-cognito family, and when he quote-unquote “meets” his new Biology partner, he suddenly has more questions about Edythe and her strange but sudden hatred of him.

[00:13:30] The top Kristen Stewart’s Bella is wearing in the very first scene of Twilight:

[00:15:09] Wikipedia’s basic breakdown of economic info on the real-world Forks, WA

[00:18:59] Bella on her reading list in Twilight: 

It was fairly basic: Bronte, Shakespeare, Chaucer, Faulkner.

[00:20:36] The “canonical” heights for Jasper and Emmett, respectively: 6’3”/190.5 cm and 6’5”/195.6 cm

[00:30:10] Scroll to the bottom of this old blog post to see Stephenie Meyer’s original fancasts for Twilight characters (She had Jackson Rathbone as an Edward possibility?? oh my god)

[00:30:41] Some old, pre-movie era edits of Emily Browning as Bella:

source

source

[00:31:02] Shannon is metaphorically on crack here. Gerard Way was actually who the fans wanted to play Edward, though Stephenie Meyer is an MCR fan and says their music inspired her when writing Jacob’s character (source.)

[00:31:21] Henry Cavill in gold contacts, looking about as unlike Edward Cullen as a white dude can look:

[00:34:18] Anyone else notice that Shannon says “Rosalie” super weird? She also says “pillow” weird. Ask her to say it sometime.

[00:39:36] The SPLC’s timeline on skinheads (cw: racism, xenophobia, antisemitism, injury, murder)

[00:42:27] A blog post on the Tiffany Problem

[00:48:44] Advice for Edward:

[00:52:13] Fanlore’s definition of “fanon”

[00:54:24] Fanlore’s article on AUs

[00:54:34] The filmmakers even shot this as a deleted scene! And you are not prepared for the sheer brilliance of this 2009 Youtube DVD rip set to an A+ song choice (sound ON and pay particular attention to the background actors)

[00:56:19] In this most iconic scene from the first Twilight movie, Bella walks into the forest with Edward (without being asked) to confront him about his vampirism

[00:56:28] Renesmee, for anyone not in the know.

[00:58:27] Alice walking into the Bio classroom after Edward’s finished snacking

[00:58:47] G references the Trolley Problem from philosophy/ethics

...and that’s all we’ve got for Episode 1 show notes! We hope you enjoyed this Happy Birthday Edward edition of 3B1P!

#show notes #episode 1 #twilight #twilight renaissance #midnight sun #life and death #the twilight saga #twilight revival #podcast #twilight podcast

[waldensblog]

Jacob: There hasn’t been a pack since my great grandfather’s generation, but one thing we do know for sure is that vampires don’t like when you kill their mates.

Bella: Edward killed James, who was Victoria’s mate.

Jacob: Aha, this all makes sense now.

The literal 100+ year old Cullen family, upon returning to Forks and finding out Victoria has been hunting Bella since they left:

#the twilight saga #new moon #how did you NOT KNOW COME ON #Carlisle you are OVER 300 YEARS OLD AND YOU DIDNT KNOW?!?! #Edward didnt know and apparently NONE OF HIS FAMILY had a braincell between them to consider the possibility?!?! #anti Cullens #anti Carlisle Cullen #anti Edward Cullen #Anti Alice Cullen #Anti Emmett Cullen #Anti Rosalie Hale #Anti Jasper Hale #Anti Esme Cullen #Jacob Black

[felixschokehold]

Disclaimer: List is due to change over time as new things are learned about each character.

Bias|Favorites 

Ultimate Bias: Felix of the Volturi

He is TALL.

He has very little scenes in the books/movies but the back story I’ve given him and literally just my own story of him has made me very attached to him.

I also love Daniel Cudmore as Felix and I am perpetually Dead^TM.

Cannot help but to love fictional homicidal men.

Edward Cullen

Edward (and Bella) call to my BPD/bipolar so fucking hard. I understand the obsession. The mania. The self hatred. The lack of confidence in someone loving you because you don’t feel “good enough”.  

Love the vigilante vampire side story. Homicidal? Check. Justified killings? Double check. Love it. Living for it.

Leah Clearwater

An absolute badass.

She deserved much better.

Demetri of the Volturi

In the books he’s also Tall. 

In the movies he’s very charming and funny (i.e. shoving Felix to hoard food).

I feel very sorry for him since Aro literally kidnapped him from Amun’s coven.

Emmett Cullen

Everyone’s fave himbo. 

Felt very protective of Bella as a brother very early on (Midnight Sun describes this during driving away from the baseball scene). 

Marcus of the Volturi

His entire life was ruined by Aro and I feel so sorry for him.

He had the greatest love of all time and it was ripped from him. 

Is absolutely done with everything and is ready to die at any moment. Mood. 

Jane and Alec

Literally just two innocent children. 

Aro also basically ruined their life and turned them without their consent (afaik). 

Forcefully bound and kept content by Aro. 

So much pity for them. My children.

Paul 

Anger issues. Same. 

Have you seen him?

Indifferent

Alice Cullen

Continuously and borderline obnoxiously tries to force Bella into her own picture of femininity.

Literally is okay with loving a non-repentant Confederate soldier.

She is nice but just kind of rubs me the wrong way ig.

Carlisle Cullen

Created his own “family” without any consent from them as they lay dying. 

Sam Uley

Seems like a hardass, but was probs just trying to be a leader and do what was best. 

Esme Cullen 

She is wholesome but not my cup of tea. 

Some motherly figures make me feel weird because mine is dead lmao.

The Pack

Unnamed members above and below go here, just no reason to like or dislike them.

The Denali Coven

I understand where Irina comes from. Kate is pretty cool ig. Tanya is alright. Eleazar and Carmen are hot af. I just don’t feel any certain way for the whole clan.

Anti|Non Favorites

Ultimate Anti: Jacob Black

Imprinting on a child; Smeyers writing imprinting as how wolves “find their mate”, and the “future” Alice saw in the movie of them acting kind of romantic to each other has made me have a very vile taste for Jacob Black. Pre-wolf Jacob? Totally cool. Post-wolf Jacob? Absolute fucking incel. 

Aro of the Volturi

Aro doesn’t “recruit”, he straight up kidnaps. He uses Chelsea and Corin’s powers to remove vampires he wants from covens they’re in and ties them to him for ultimate loyalty. He killed his own sister, Didyme, because he didn’t want Marcus to leave as he and Didyme were mated and wanted to dip from the Volturi. Aro is enslaving and kidnapping vampires on the reg.

Caius of the Volturi

He is the only member of the Volturi that Aro has not forced to stay. Caius stays on his own, he only uses Corin’s ability to cure his boredom when he isn’t committing mass murder or punishing lawbreakers. 

Rosalie Cullen (Hale) 

Supreme Bitch for literally no reason. 

Pro-lifer. 

Treats Bella like absolute garbage and almost gets her own brother killed because “Bella I eNvY yOu”

Rene 

Was never a real mother to Bella, Bella had to mother her. 

Selfish. 

Just annoying and a terrible person lol.

Charlie Swan 

Didn’t do anything in the movie when Jacob kissed Bella without consent. In the book, he praised Jacob for kissing Bella.

ACAB. 

Jasper Cullen (Hale) 

I only put him here because he’s a Confederate soldier with no remorse. 

Probably a racist.

Quil 

Also imprinted on a child.

#this is going to be linked to my pin #just my opinion lol #twilight saga #characters #my post #own post #this list will be edited and added to as time goes on

[jessicanjpa]

Twilight Advent Calendar 2022 event

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

Dec. 16 prompt: Which non-Cullen vampire does Emmett like best?

Garrett! I'm not sure when they first met, but they've been fast friends ever since day 1. They both like to introduce a little chaos whenever things are getting too predictable/comfortable. Emmett isn't really bothered by Garrett's diet (usually) and Garrett was relieved to meet a Cullen who doesn't take themselves or their diet too seriously. Emmett thinks Garrett's anti-Brit thing is hilarious considering that Carlisle is right there. They have pulled off some genius-level pranks together and have lots of plans for more. Rosalie/Emmett and Kate/Garrett will absolutely be traveling together at some point.

You can find all the #twilightadvent22 prompts here!

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

#twilightadvent22 #Emmett #Garrett #Headcanon #Nomads

[cavilhenry]

rosalie has such valid and correct taste in people. anti-edward. anti-jacob. anti-bella. pro-emmett

#i wish i was her just so i could have the pleasure of bullying edward every single day #text