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everlark777 · 6 months

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First Kiss

✤ Pairing: Loid Forger x Yor Forger

✤ Summary: Anya is on vacation with Becky’s family and Loid and Yor have the house to themselves.

✤ Tags: alternate canon, anxiety, slight confessions, firsts, fluff, so much fluff, fluff no smut, first kiss

✤ Word Count: 2330

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anya was going with becky and her family on vacation. which left loid and yor forger standing outside their home, waving her off.

to an outsider they looked like a happy married couple. they were interlocking arms and yor was almost leaning into loid.

he was distinctly aware of how close she was to him, how he could feel the vibrations of her presence. he longed to pull her into him. it wouldn’t be weird right? after all they are supposed to be keeping up appearances, he could hold her…

god, he had to stop thinking like this! when had it gotten this bad? the night at the bar had thrown him off his game, but the feelings he was having weren’t as new as he thought. maybe he had just begun to notice them.

he stood beside her debating on whether to pull her closer when he realized the blackbell family car had already gone down the street. the bubble they had created popped and loid, embarrassed to be so close, dropped yor’s arm.

yor quickly put even more distance between them and with a sigh, loid started back to their home. loid couldn’t help but think she wanted nothing to do with him if it wasn’t for anya.

little did he know that yor was feeling out of place. she didn’t know how to prove herself to loid if anya wasn’t there. she felt unable to care or give loid anything he needs, but with anya she knew what she was doing.

yor could still feel the imprint of his hand on her wrist. her heart was beating rapidly, sure she was always scared they would be discovered, but this was different. yor hadn’t been acting like herself these days. she had been jealous and careless. her head constantly nitpicking everything she does around loid. she doesn’t quite know why he makes her feel so inadequate. and maybe not even that, she just wanted to be better for him.

yor glanced over at loid who was just getting to their front door. she could hear bond wining at the door and waiting for their return. it had been awkward between loid and yor recently. unbeknownst to them that it was the same reason. they had realized the true gravity of their feelings towards each other. and had accepted that they, each would never return the thought. anya would be gone for five days. what where they going to do with all this time?

the hours had ticked by with loid and yor finding little things to do around the house. loid and yor kept to themselves only speaking if they needed to share a cleaning item. they were both on edge still not quite used to it just being the two of them. the apartment being completely empty was all consuming. the quietness was deafening. yor and loid continued to work in silence until all the housework was done.

*both yor and loid, being as efficient as they are, cleaned the entire house in 30 minutes*

loid moved to the couch and sat down picking up a book. anything to occupy his time. he knew he could easily break the silence between him and yor start up some meaningless small talk, but being alone with her made the facade he has to put on more difficult. he decided to put his focus into his reading instead.

he was still very aware that yor hadn’t left the room. she was sitting perched on the arm of the couch adjacent to him. she had been petting bond but now she just sat there staring at the floor.

yor didn’t know what to say. they had been in silence for so long it felt awkward to break it. loid had just begun reading and it would be rude to disrupt him, but she couldn’t bring herself to leave the room.

“would you want to go out tonight? i promise i won’t drink.”

yor finally broke the silence.

loid looked up from his book and reached over for his bookmark.

“where would you like to go? and maybe it is for the best you at least stick to only one.”

loid felt relieved. they would be around other people. he could pretend.

they agreed on a place and soon it was time to head out.

loid and yor made small talk in the car about what they were craving and how pretty the sky looked.

loid helped yor out of the car and linked arms with her. he was feeling brave, after all eyes would be on them now. he looked over at yor but her head was down, looking elsewhere. with a sigh, he pulled her along into the restaurant.

yor was turned away from loid. he looked so handsome tonight. he had strayed from his usual green suit and went with something a little more casual. his arm was draped around her waist. she could feel the tension in his arm and she reminded herself this wasn’t real… at least in that way.

yor followed loid into the restaurant. when they finally got to the table, loid was the one to break the silence this time.

“sure is quiet without ms. anya.”

“yes, yes it is.”

a beat. more silence. how was she going to fix this.

loid took a breath.

“look i’ve been meaning to tell you…” loid cleared his throat.

yor’s mind began to race. what was he going to say to her? was this the end? had she done something unforgivable? oh no, did she break something earlier while cleaning? is something wrong with anya? or worse has he figured out her feelings and can only see her with disgust?

“i’ve been meaning to speak to you about it for sometime, i haven’t been exactly honest about why i asked you to be my wife.”

yor’s ears begun to ring.

“w-what do you mean exactly” yor choked out.

“i haven’t been exactly honest with you, god i can’t believe i’m telling you this.”

loid couldn’t stop himself from speaking. this isn’t how he planned the night to go, but she wouldn’t look at him properly. he could feel the tension whenever they spoke. he had to prove to her that she was fit for this mission.

he had grown to trust yor with anything. he knew she had a secret, but he saw her. he knew she was a nervous wreck most of the time, but he also knew she was calm under pressure. and she had this power, this overwhelming sense of strength. he could trust her with this.

“i’m part of an organization meant to bring about peace. i can’t tell you much about it as not to compromise the mission, but i was supposed to create a fake persona with a family. i know you may feel i deceived you and that is fair, but i need you yor. you are important to me but also the mission. i need you to feel firm in your position as my wife and confidant. i no longer wish to keep things from you.”

yor just stared at loid. her big eyes wide and her mouth slightly hanging open. yor was overwhelmed. she went over his words again and again in her head trying to process them.

“you are important to me.”

a blush spread across her entire face and she directed her gaze to her lap.

“um loid, i don’t know what to say. i guess, first i’m not mad. we all have our secrets.”

she gained her composure enough to look him in the eye.

“i can’t expect you to share all your secrets with me… as i have secrets too that i wouldn’t want you to know about.”

she stumbled over the last part not sure if she should even imply she was more than she let on. but there it was. she had admitted she had a secret it was a small break but it was something she persistently avoided. a wall she refused to let down.

loid blinked. yor continued to shock him. there were no signs of malice. she almost seemed unfazed. maybe he should have told her sooner, but he couldn’t have. he had to trust her 100%, and that was nearly impossible to achieve. yet somehow she was sitting here and he couldn’t do anything but trust her.

“i don’t know what to say. i expected this to go a bit differently. i was sure i would have to talk you off a ledge.”

“you don’t think… i don’t seem like the type.”

yor grabbed her head. simply stopping while she was ahead.

loid let out a chuckle and it sang through yor’s head. he very rarely let out a real laugh.

yor called the waiter over and ordered wine and got loid a scotch. he couldn’t help but smile to himself. she had remembered what drink he ordered, and he could tell it wasn’t meant to impress him. she just wanted him to get what he wanted.

“so this two drink rule? how lenient are you feeling on it? after all i just took news that could have destroyed me, gracefully.”

loid squinted his eyes and gave yor a long stare.

“fine. fine. only three drinks it is.”

5 drinks later, loid had two and yor stuck to her three rule, they were ready to go home. yor was a little off balance and had to lean onto loid to walk.

he could feel her putting her weight into him. the alcohol that was in his system was making him feel braver than usual. he couldn’t help but feel like this was were he belonged. helping his wife home after a fun night out.

yor felt light on her feet. she couldn’t help but feel grateful to loid for helping her.

she would never admit that she didn’t need to be leaning into him as much as she was.

she realized she had never been comfortable with people being around her. especially anyone showing her physical affection, but with loid it was almost like she needed it. his grip around her was strong but unlike earlier he was leaning into her. letting his arm form around her.

they walked in silence back towards their apartment but they spoke in other ways. loid would point out a pretty house or interesting plant and yor would giggle and snuggle into loid.

when they reached the house the night felt like liquid. the apartment was a comforting kind of quiet when they returned. bond was asleep on his bed in the corner. only giving a lift of his head when they returned.

yor didn’t want to leave loid and he didn’t want to leave her. they just turned on a lamp in the living room and sat on the sofa.

the silence that surrounded them was different this time. they shared it. they could almost communicate with each other silently.

yor shifted towards loid and he met her in the center.

“i had a lovely time tonight.”

yor almost sighed. her eyes were sparkling and a faint blush was spread across her cheeks from the alcohol. loid thought she had never looked more beautiful. she had taken her hair down when they got back in and it hung in her face.

“so about tonight, it was great, but now that we are alone, i need to express even more so how you can’t tell anyone about the mission.”

“loid, i understand. i would never want to do anything to put you or anya in danger.”

yor bit her lip and took a deep inhale.

“but i must ask, why me?”

loid was afraid she would ask this. he didn’t have any right reason, even now, but he knew she was the right choice. no one could replace her.

“to be quite frank, im not sure. all i know is that when i met you, i knew it was you.”

yor’s breath caught and she met his eyes. loid still feeling brave pushed yor’s hair aside. loid’s heart was beating out of his chest. he was saying one thing and trying to imply so much with it.

he did know it was her.

“loid, if i asked you to kiss me right now would you?”

yor kept her glare strong not looking away. the second it left her mouth she regretted it. how could she possible be so bold? but he was so close, their knees brushing. she could feel the rise and fall of his breathing through the couch.

loid felt like time stopped. a knot formed in his throat as he took yor in. there she was asking if he would kiss her, but should he?

did he want to kiss her? yes, but did he know for certain where this would lead? no, and loid didn’t like the unexpected.

“i think i shouldn’t have let you drink tonight. let us go to bed, you aren’t thinking clearly.”

yor turned bright red. he obviously rejected her. as simple as that, he had no interest in her. she moved to get up.

loid could feel his heart pounding in his ears, it was deafening. he didn’t want her to leave. his mind raced with all the bad outcomes, but right now all he could think was how torn up he would feel if her feet hit the ground. how he would never forgive himself for passing up this moment. he began to panic grabbing yor’s wrist pulling her back towards him.

she fell against him. chest against chest. he could feel her breathe. there chest rising and falling at the same time. his hand went up to cup her cheek. she looked down at him in confusion.

“loid?” she softly muttered his name.

he looked down at her lips forming his name and that’s when he kissed her. the moment their lips met he felt like he took his first breath.

#i know that realistically loid couldn’t tell yor about the mission in public just roll with me #firstfanfic on here #spy x family #fanfic #anime #loidyor #loid forger #loid x yor #spy family #fluff #please be kind

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