#and will the experience make you associate all the bad shit with your writing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

misshoneyimhome · 4 months

Note

You’re newest oneshot left me dead in a good way it was so hot and him being a cheeky shit saying that they probably heard her being loud. If requests are open, can I submit a request about trying anal for the first time and celebrating his new contract a new series of firsts for both.

Well, as long as it's in a good way bb! 😉

Sooo, this was definitely a first time for me to write about 😉 So I do hope I managed to get it out in a good way 🤍 However, I wasn't sure if you meant it was the first time for them both; so I just went with it 🌺

I did though get carried away a bit, so I apologise in advance for any mistakes or weird phrases 🙈 Additionally I also used this request ~ and tried to stick to the storyline, however, I'm sorry if I repeat myself too much - please do let me know 🙃

Anyway, If you like it, I’ll see you all in church *hell* 💦

Please enjoy 🤍

Warnings; where to begin... 18+ smut; oral sex (f receiving); unprotected sex (p in v); cum inside; cum licking/sucking?; fingering; anal toy, anal fingering; protected anal sex; did I forget anything?

[the 🌶️ is for more explicit content]

Word count; 5.5K

[Inexperienced!reader x Willy]

All good boys go to heaven - But bad boys bring heaven to you pt V I William Nylander 🖋️⚡️🌶️

Describing your relationship with William Nylander as having a substantial amount of sex would be an understatement.

Not only did he introduce you to various ways of experiencing pleasure and engaging in sexual intimacy, where both giving and receiving pleasure created an exhilarating connection, but he also proved to be an exceptional lover, partner, and boyfriend.

William expressed abundant love and affection, making you feel incredibly comfortable in your own skin as the two of you explored each other's bodies. His presence instilled confidence in you, and you reciprocated the exploration, discovering your deepest desires.

In the process, you found yourself engaging in activities you never thought you would, and despite feeling a bit dirty, each new experience left you with a sense of empowerment. It was akin to reading a romantic novel, where the once innocent larva transforms into a beautiful butterfly.

However, your romantic narrative wasn't solely about innocence; it was laced with hot passion and intense, raw sex. Similar to the hidden, steamy books many women keep in their bedside tables, your reality with William involved fulfilling those fantasies and more.

In your world, William brought those fantasies to life, and reciprocally, you did the same for him. Just the day before, you showed him just how good you could be for him. How good your mouth could work his length as he spilled himself into your warmth. And you’d drink all of him as you made him reach his climax again and again.

You’d celebrated William's new contract both with his family and then in private. And as the night had unfolded and left both of you content after moments of mind blown sex, William, once again returned to the loving boyfriend and broached a significant topic.

The prospect of moving in together.

For William, this step felt natural, almost expected, given the amount of time you spent at his place. To him, it seemed more practical for you both to share a home rather than maintaining separate spaces, especially since you were rarely at your own anymore.

However, for you, it carried more weight. William was your second serious relationship, following and including your high school sweetheart. And despite the growth and independence you had achieved since then, moving in together felt like such a mature, adult decision.

You had established your independence, secured a good job and your own place. You enjoyed the feeling of being a strong and independent woman, breaking free from the chains your ex had once held around you. Yet, your relationship with William had made things take a turn.

His demanding career, coupled with the unique lifestyle of being associated with the Toronto Maple Leafs, shifted your daily routine. Now, your friends were mainly the wives and girlfriends of the Leafs players, and hockey dominated your life with game nights, travel plans, and brunch dates.

Your world had turned upside down. Even maintaining a regular work schedule became challenging amidst late nights and quick trips to away games. Which also led to you finding yourself spending a substantial amount of time at William's place, making it more convenient to be together.

And tonight was no exception, as the Leafs faced off against the Sharks at the Scotiabank Arena. Proudly donning the #88 jersey among the other partners of the players, you cheered on the Leafs, celebrating their dominating 7-1 victory.

After the players completed their media obligations and changed back into their post-game outfits, William quickly sought you out, pulling you into his arms for a deep kiss.

"Min älskling," he whispered sweetly, expressing his affection.

It was one of those tender moments that showcased your love for each other, much like the other couples in the room. However, as romantic as it was, you were aware of how quickly the atmosphere could shift when you were alone.

William's eyes, filled with the excitement of the great win, locked onto yours. Feeling the tension building between your legs from his firm touches with his arms around your waist, you knew it was time to cut the conversation short.

And soon, you found yourselves on the way back to William's condo.

His arms remained around you as you rode the lift to his floor. As you entered the condo, his mouth found yours without hesitation, and William effortlessly picked you up, carrying you to the open kitchen – a place where you’d often shared heated, intimate moments before turning in for the night.

Seated on the dining table, you let his tongue explore your mouth, his hands roaming every inch of your soft skin as he slowly began to undress you. Simultaneously, you didn't let him remain fully clothed either.

Clothing items were discarded and tossed aside on the floor as you passionately kissed, stealing breaths from each other as you were deeply devoted.

“Willy,” you managed to moan between the eager kisses. “Fuck me…”

And he fully intended to do so.

But first, he'd indulge in his late-night snack. Bending down between your bare legs, his mouth came close to your needy heat. His lips planted hungry kisses on your inner thighs, teasing you and devilishly slowly building up pleasure.

And as your impatience got the better of you, your hand found his long blonde locks, gently tugging them to pull him a little closer.

A smirk formed on William’s lips as he sensed your growing desperation, but he didn't keep you waiting. Licking up your folds, he tasted your sweet honey, and the soft moans escaping your mouth only encouraged him further. Using his skilled mouth, he explored your core, licking and sucking your sweet, sensitive flesh. And as he heard your moans gradually growing louder, felt your heels digging into the back of his shoulders, he knew he could easily bring you to your first climax.

Then adding two of his large fingers to the equation, he eased them into your warmth while his mouth devoted itself to your clit. And only with several pumps of his curled digits, your moans called out William's name in between heavy breaths and deep, husky tones.

“Oh yes! Willy, I’m coming.”

And William had no doubt as your juices sprayed and coated his fingers, as well as moisturising his moustache.

“Mmm, tastes so good, baby,” he murmured into your cunt, as his fingers pumped slowly, guiding you down from the high, before carefully retreating them and licking them clean. His eyes gazed up at you, while yours met his in an intense moment.

“Please, I need you in me,” you found yourself pleading, and William couldn't contain his amusement as he rose from his position. With eyes still locked, he removed the last piece of clothing, freeing his hard cock from his boxers.

Your sweet whimper enchanted him, and with no more foreplay needed, William pulled you to the very edge of the table. He lined the tip of his member with your pulsating entrance and eased himself in.

Deep moans harmonised as he filled your depth, your walls hugging him tightly. Your hands wrapped around his neck and pulled him in for a deep kiss, letting your lips get moist from your own essence, and your tongue sensually licking his lips as you tasted yourself.

William held a firm grip on your thighs as he began rocking his hips, his length stimulating your walls with every motion. And your foreheads came to rest against each other, sharing breaths as his thrusts grew harder and deeper, eliciting small cries from you.

“Yes… Fuck, Willy… feels so good,” you whimpered as his cock touched your very back and hit a highly sensitive spot.

“Yeah, baby… your pussy is like made for me…” he moaned in return, the clenching of your muscles bringing him closer to climax.

It was passionate and lustful. Every pound became more eager, and as William felt your nails digging into the back of his neck, he knew you were about to reach your second orgasm.

He knew your body so well. Knowing exactly how to hit at what speed, and what angle to make you moan so sweetly. And he loved every bit of it. He loved it so much, it could bring himself to climax, sooner rather than later.

Then increasing his speed, letting his skin slam against yours, both your moans grew louder. Sweat formed on your skin, letting the intense heat fill the condo's air as sounds of sex echoed.

“Fuck, baby, I’m gonna come….” You cried as his thrusts became overwhelming, your walls clenching, and your mind growing hazy.

“Yes, baby, I’m gonna come with you.”

And with deep grunts, both of you arched back and let the orgasms course through your bodies. Ecstasy filled your minds as visions became blurry, and William spilled his seed into the depth of your warmth.

As always, it was skilled, perhaps a bit quick, yet also intense for both of you.

Almost frozen in your position, William gently withdrew his member, watching as his cum slowly dripped from your tight space. And he couldn't help himself.

It was so hot. Seeing how he claimed you as his with his liquids, he then used two fingers to trace up your folds, collecting some of the sticky mixed fluids. And with a dark glare, he locked eyes with you, a smirk forming on his lips as he brought his fingers to your mouth.

“Open,” he commanded in his rough voice. And you did as told.

Letting your lips slowly part, slightly sticking out your tongue, you allowed him to put his coated digits into your mouth. You tasted the sweet and salty mix, circling your tongue around his fingers as you sucked him completely clean. Maintaining a sensual look in your eyes, you watched as William let out a small gasp.

This was hotter than he thought it would be.

He had to gulp as he slowly pulled out his fingers, and you made sure to let your lips feel every inch of them. “Fucking good girl…” was all he managed to whisper roughly.

And slowly, the two of you came out of the euphoric state, and with satisfied smiles across your lips, you retreated to the bathroom to clean up before tucking in under the covers.

Amidst soft lights in the bedroom, you couldn’t help but lie in comfortable silence, gazing at each other as you admired one another.

As you delicately traced his handsome facial features with your fingers, gently stroking them across his gorgeous pink lips, William then broke the silence.

“You’re so fucking hot… you know that, right?”

His voice was low and husky, his eyes darting from side to side as he studied every little detail of your face.

“You’re not too shabby yourself,” you chuckled lightly, but William wasn’t joking around.

His smile was wide, and his eyes sparkled in the dimmed lights, as he couldn’t help but adore you.

“What’s on your mind baby?”

You withdrew your hand and let your head rest on your arm as you offered William a soft smile.

“Nothing, I’m just thinking.”

“About?”

“…many things - like about why you like me so much,” you let out a soft sigh, a smile still on your face as you gently bit down on your lower lip, your eyes darting down into the sheets before looking back up at him. “And if you’re actually serious about me…”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” he inquired with a concerned expression.

“I don’t know… I guess I just… can’t help but wonder… if you really feel completely satisfied with me?”

It was a question you’d been pondering for a little while now. Despite William often providing solid evidence of how he felt towards you, you still had a small amount of doubt - perhaps a fear that he was only interested in you for a short while before he got bored. That he was feeling lonely, and you’d been there for some time now and he’d just want someone around all the time.

But that was nowhere near the truth. William was sure of his feelings for you. Given that he wasn’t a type to overthink anything, he honestly just went with his gut feeling.

“What do you mean? Of course, I feel satisfied,” William let out a soft chuckle. What had you thinking like that, he thought.

“Well, I was just wondering… that maybe, there were still some things… you know, you’d want to do… sexually – that maybe, you didn’t feel like you could do with me?” Your voice unwillingly trembled a tad as you spoke the words. Though you knew he was your boyfriend and there was nothing to fear, you felt slightly nervous.

“Like what?”

“You know… like tonight, when you stuck your fingers in my mouth – I mean it was hot, definitely… but it just had me thinking that maybe there were still more things we haven’t tried – you know, fantasies you might want to explore?”

Though your questioning was primarily aimed at understanding William's needs, it equally reflected your own curiosity. You had sensed that William often hinted at his desires but not really speaking openly about them, almost as if he was holding back.

“Hmm...” he started softly, his eyes looking down as he pressed his lips together, pondering whether to share his thoughts or not.

“Willy, you can tell me…” you spoke softly as his eyes met yours again.

But he simply shook his head. “No, baby… I’m completely satisfied as it is.”

However, he wasn’t fooling anyone.

“Come on, I can practically hear the wheels turning in your head…”

And William knew you wouldn’t let it go until he let you in on what he’d been fantasising about for a while now.

“Well, there is something…” he spoke with a sly grin smeared across his lips, a little excited to see your reaction to his proposal. “We’ve touched on it a little, but I really want to…” His deep voice faded, his fingers tracing down your body, gently feeling your skin as his palm caressed your buttocks before he let his fingers slip between your cheeks and gently nudged your tight entrance furthest behind. “… feel myself inside you… here.”

A small gasp escaped your lips as you heard his idea. Yet, for some unknown reason, you were rather intrigued. Licking your lips, you studied his face as you enjoyed his finger gently poking your tight hole.

“Oh…” you breathed out lightly. “Well… Uhm.” You gave yourself a moment to think, though a part of you already knew the answer. And curiosity once again got the better of you. “Okay.”

You were surprised by your own voice speaking, your mind quickly agreeing to his suggestion, though it was way out of your comfort zone. And William seemed equally surprised.

Withdrawing his hand, he repositioned himself a little and looked intensely at you.

“Wait… seriously?”

And you couldn’t help but chuckle a little, as his reaction to your reaction was slightly amusing.

“Why not… we’ve done so many other things – why not this?”

William couldn’t really believe it at first. What had he turned you into? You were definitely no longer the innocent girl he’d met and shown new territories. But he liked it. You were amazing how you let yourself into curiosity. And most importantly, you wanted to do it all with him.

“Well alright then… but not tonight – let’s do it another night.”

“Okay,” you chuckled, as you then repositioned as well, with confidence you rose and straddled his hips, prompting him onto his back and gazing seductively down at him. “Guess this is going to be an interesting celebration week.”

And it most definitely was an interesting week.

Following the loss against the Islanders Thursday night in New York, William was looking forward to coming home to you again. Well, at least home to his own place, where he knew you’d be. Arriving during the night, he simply admired your figure tangled up in his bedsheets before he too surrendered to the night, a smile on his lips as he thought about your plans for the following evening.

While he’d been away, you’d done everything to prepare yourself for the Friday night.

You'd done research about the various ways to prepare yourself for the new activity you and William would explore. Mentally, you thought about what to expect—the possible pain and the pleasure.

You’d read about the dos and don'ts, understanding that reality wasn’t exactly equivalent to porno. So, real-life experiences were sought, and you felt confident in yourself. Having gotten to know your body a lot better over the past few months it had bolstered your self-confident.

Furthermore, you trusted William.

Though he hadn't experienced it himself, he felt confident too. He’d only tried one attempt with a girl in a casual friends-with-benefits relationship, where the encounter turned out to be somewhat unpleasant for both, and they couldn't go through with it. However, with you, he wanted to try again, taking it slow and creating a relaxed and comfortable atmosphere. While he hadn't delved into research as much as you, he ensured he was prepared. He wanted you to have the best experience possible.

And as William's training drew to a close, and he made his way home, he sensed a slow build-up of nerves. Which was an unusual feeling for him when it came to sex. However, since this was new for both of you, he wasn't entirely the experienced one this time.

Meanwhile at home, you were trying everything to keep yourself relaxed. Reassuring yourself that it wasn't a big deal—many people did this all the time, right? Yet, it was still a bit nerve-wracking. It was a territory you'd never even discussed with your girlfriends, and you hadn't really tried anything similar before.

So, you decided to enjoy a cup of tea to calm your nerves.

And when William returned home, you swiftly embraced each other, not bothering with too much talk before finding yourselves in the dimmed lights of your bedroom. You had tried to make it nice and cosy, even preparing with a towel just in case of an emergency.

As you and William were together in bed you felt yourself slowly relax. His warm body against yours, lips connected in soft and gentle motions, tongues dancing sensually. The soothing smell of candlelight filled the air as you eased into the sexual pleasure.

Naked under the duvet, you calmed more and more with each deep kiss. William's fingers slowly explored your heat, gently circling your clit before he entered two of his thick fingers, as he wanted to make sure you felt good. Loosen yourself into his touch as he carefully pumped his digits and stimulated your walls.

And as he worked your tense muscles, you let the pleasure slowly take over, coursing through every vein. You felt an orgasm cloud your mind, filling it with dopamine. William felt how the high made you clench around him, and as you slowly came down, he sensed your tense muscles relax.

“You’re okay, baby?” William's low, husky voice softly echoed in your ears as he broke the kiss and gently pulled out his fingers.

“Mmm…” you nodded, flashing him a sweet smile.

“And you're sure you want to do this?”

You couldn’t help but offer him a light chuckle as you gently stroked your fingers through his hair. “Yeah, Willy, I’m sure… just… go slow.”

The way William was so relaxed had made you relaxed too.

“Of course, baby… and you tell me to stop if that’s what you want,” his voice came out slightly serious. He didn’t want you to do something you deeply didn’t desire, nor would he risk hurting you.

“Willy, I’m good,” you grinned sweetly, biting down on your lower lip as you gazed up at him. “Actually, I’m a bit… excited.”

And that seemed to reassure him enough. With a gentle nod and a sly grin, William then pulled away from you, kneeled between your legs as he leaned over to the nightstand where he had a small butt plug ready, as well as a small tube of lube.

You watched him intensely as he took hold of the little bottle, coating his two digits he’d just used inside your cunt. Then, he hovered over you again, one arm supporting him next to your head while the other gently traced up between your ass cheeks.

You couldn’t help but let out a light gasp as you felt the cold lube touch your skin, but you did your best to maintain control of your breaths as William’s middle finger gently poked against your tight hole.

And very carefully, he pushed it in, his eyes still locked onto yours as he observed your reaction.

Soft moans escaped your lips. It was a strange feeling, good, but strange. The way his finger slowly eased in, stretching your entrance, was an odd sensation that had you feeling a new form of pleasure.

“Is this alright, baby?”

With a light 'yes,' you reassured him once more, encouraging him to keep moving. He took his time, pumping his finger as he watched you whimper and focused on your breathing.

Then delicately, William tried to add his second finger, making sure his motions were patient and slow. He let his two digits stretch you a little further, and a louder moan escaped you this time. The way his fingers stimulated your ass was slowly becoming a little overwhelming.

“Is this good?”

“Yes, Willy… shit, it feels good,” you panted.

Slightly surprised by your own words, you moaned softly and let sweet cries escape, feeling a rush of pleasure slowly forming. It wasn’t like the usual way an orgasm would build up, yet it did feel really good.

“Baby, let me put the toy in you, and I’ll take good care of you.”

With a soft nod and a deep breath, you relaxed your body and William carefully pulled out his fingers. Then, he leaned over again, grabbed the little metal plug with a small fake diamond to make it look cute, coated it with a good layer of lube, before he gently placed it by your entrance.

“Ready?” he inquired; his eyes locked onto yours as you gave him acceptance. You noticed yourself briefly holding your breath as he let the toy slowly slip into you yet surrendering to the pleasure of the cold metal.

“Oh… fuck,” you breathed out.

William couldn’t help but express a smile, quickly gazing down as he saw the silver disappear into your hole. It was more than just a turn on for him. He felt his hard cock throbbing just by the mere thought of feeling himself inside you.

But he remained patient and controlled. And as the toy was all the way in, William then came back into missionary, kissing you again to make sure you were feeling good and calm with the new toy.

And you most definitely did. It was stimulating you in a whole new way.

Then, still with your lips connected, William lined his member with your heat and slowly eased himself into your core. Your juices provided him with a good amount of lubricant, mixed with the lube from the butt plug.

“Fuck…” he heavily breathed out. “Oh shit, baby, I can feel it inside you.”

However, you were unable to respond. Feeling William filling you up with his cock, coupled with the little metal in your ass, had you seeing stars. And as he then began to rock his hips, gently and controlled, you couldn’t contain your louder moans.

It was beyond intense. William’s cock alone could normally hit you so perfectly; however, with the butt plug in your other hole, you were feeling more than just pleasure. This was a different kind of high you were about to reach.

“Yes, baby… God! You feel so fucking incredible…” William moaned along your sweet sounds, as he thrusted into you. “Shit, I’m gonna need you to come for me, baby… show me how good I make you feel.”

Though the dirty talk seemed to come naturally to him, William also felt the need to make sure you were feeling the comfort and pleasure like he was, ensuring you'd come at least one more time, before he could move on.

And he did not have to say much more. Holding a tight grip onto his shoulders, you let out cries, indicating you were so close to an orgasm. Feeling the intensity on your two holes being stimulated, it did not take much longer for you to almost scream out his name, letting your mind go completely foggy as you came.

“Oh Willy…” you whimpered softly, feeling his shaft softly pounding a few more times as you calmed down from your intense high. “Shit, that felt good.”

William was feeling rather satisfied with the results so far; however, he was also becoming more eager to have himself inside your ass.

So, with a few more seconds to make you both regain your breaths, he then slowly pulled out his cock, making you feel a void as he gently toyed with the little piece of metal.

“You think you can handle me, älskling?”

And with an excited nod, you bit down on your lip again, watched him intensely as you took in another deep breath and relaxed so he could slowly pull out the butt plug.

“Oh,” you moaned as you felt it stretch you once more, your hands finding the sheets to grab a hold onto.

Then, with the toy completely out, William tossed it aside, again reached over to the bedside table, finding the condom package and the bottle of lube, and skilfully wrapped himself up, giving the latex an extra coat of lubricant.

“Alright,” he spoke dark and husky, as he again came to lean his body over you. “Just breathe and relax. We’ll go slow, and you tell me if it hurts.”

"Yes," you managed to exhale, feeling the tip of his cock against your ass.

Raising your lower half slightly to provide better access, William tried to ease himself in very slowly, almost agonisingly so. Only allowing the tip to barely enter, he observed you squirming beneath him, your nails digging into his skin as you attempted to control your breath.

He then retracted just a little before gradually pushing further, allowing more of his length to slip inside.

"Fuck!" he erupted with a loud, raw moan. "You're so tight, baby!"

The intensity was overwhelming, overstimulating for both of you as your moans synchronised, resonating through the air. And in a matter of seconds, William was completely in, stretching your hole with his hard member.

A tear escaped from the corner of your eye, not a result of pain but sheer pleasure as William filled you up. And as he stared directly at you in search for any hints of discomfort, you flashed him a gentle smile and reassurance.

"Willy..." you whimpered softly, your breath catching. "You can move."

Your eyes remained locked as he delicately withdrew before pushing back in again. And slowly, he established a gentle rhythm, allowing the lube to coat his member as he swayed his hips, stimulating your ass.

You couldn't stifle your moans as this new wave of pleasure built up, your hands moving eagerly from the sheets to his shoulders to his hair, tugging on it as William pounded into you.

"God, baby, you take me so good," praises slipped off his tongue.

And he knew he wasn't going to last long. The muscles were a lot tighter than he was used to from your cunt, pushing him quicker toward his climax. His palms gripped tightly onto the sheets beside you, beads of sweat forming on his forehead as he kept thrusting. His movements gradually became a little harder and quicker.

"Fuck... shit... oh, baby... fuck."

A series of curse words were shouted as William maintained a steady motion. And you couldn't even articulate coherent words any longer. Only deep breaths and loud moans escaped you, and air was emptied from your lungs as your eyes rolled back in your head.

"Willy... I'm... gon... Mmmm come..." you managed to blurt out in between cries and whimpers, feeling your climax about to peak.

And as William felt himself right on the edge as well, he couldn't control his hard thrusts and deep grunts any longer.

"Yes, baby... come with me..."

One of his hands forcefully grabbed onto the headboard of the bed as he now too cried out. On the brink of climax, ecstasy coursing through his mind, body, and soul. And as William felt your opening clench around him, as you moaned out his name in the purest sense of an intense orgasm, he then too, let himself surrender to the rush. Spilling his seed into the latex as a string of curse words and groans escaped his lips amid praises.

What felt like an eternity of a high rush was merely a few seconds, perhaps almost a minute, where the two of you were completely stunned. William's cock still buried inside you as you both slowly came out of the euphoric state of mind. Your legs trembled as you regained consciousness, your sight clearing as you felt your heated bodies share sweat and vibrations.

Breaths were deep and heavy, both of you finding your way back to reality.

And slowly, very slowly, William pulled out his shaft. Your ass felt sore and stretched, yet your body still lingered from the intense pleasure.

Smiles adorned your lips, and William took a few silent seconds to study your face, making sure you were feeling okay.

He rested his forehead against yours, sharing light chuckles before connecting your lips in a soft and tender kiss, ensuring the atmosphere remained romantic and sincere.

"You're feeling good?" he asked softly.

"Yes, Willy, that was incredible," you reassured him with a sweet smile. And again, you both waited a few more seconds, sharing a quick kiss, before untangling from the position.

Feeling beyond excited and satisfied, you took your time to clean up in the shower, softly and gently washing each other as you shared kisses and heartfelt giggles.

After all, William was a master at aftercare.

And as you retreated to the bed, he made sure to snuggle and cuddle with all his love.

"You're alright, baby?"

"Yes, Willy, you don't have to keep asking," you giggled as you rested your head on his chest.

"Sorry, I just want to make sure it was good for you too," he glanced down at you with an arm resting behind his head and a smile across his handsome face.

"It was, baby," you gently leaned up and placed a soft kiss on his lips before returning to rest on his broad torso, his hand softly stroking your hair while a brief, comfortable silence settled between you.

"Will you stay here tomorrow? Until the game," his husky voice softly spoke, his eyes sparkling in the soft lights of your bedroom.

“Mmm, yes - but I might have to go by my own place during the day,” you flashed him a content grin.

“Why’s that?”

You leaned up a little, stretching your arms as you looked down at him with a soft smirk.

“Well, I have to go home and… collect some stuff, you know… if I have to be here for a little longer,” you couldn’t contain your amusement as William slowly came to realise what you were saying.

“Wait… so that’s a yes?” He chuckled.

“Mmm,” you nodded with a wide smile. “But I’m not sure if I’ll give up my apartment just yet… I want to do this right, Willy, and for me, that just means taking things a little slow…”

“Of course, baby, whatever you need,” William smiled as he gently sat up and connected your lips in a tender kiss. His hand finding the back of your hair, pulling you close to him, before swiftly retreating again. “Hang on… so anal sex was what had you make up your mind?”

You couldn’t help but chuckle at his sudden exclamation.

“Hmm, I suppose - I mean, you’ve literally seen every part of me now.”

William’s grin grew a little wider.

“Well then I guess I should have suggested it sooner.”

With playful banter and shared laughter, you and William continued to bask in the afterglow of your intimate moment. And as the night progressed, you found comfort in each other's arms, exchanging sweet whispers and tender kisses. The condo became a haven for your shared secrets, desires, and newfound closeness.

And the next morning, as the alarm set off, you woke up entwined with William. The previous night's passion had created a deeper connection between you two, and the sense of intimacy lingered in the air.

With William then heading to morning skates, you took the opportunity to visit your place and gather a few more items than usual. And returning to his condo, you discovered he had made space for your belongings in his closet and bathroom. A wide smile adorned your face as you left your new home, eager to watch him play in the upcoming home game later that night.

#18+#Inexperienced!reader x Willy #william nylander imagine #nhl smut #wn88 imagine #william nylander smut #nhl hockey imagine #toronto maple leafs imagine #SlutsforPresidentNylander

135 notes · View notes

ms-demeanor · 8 months

Note

it's hard to find legitimate data on risks associated with alcohol--a lot of results from religious organizations w/ vested financial interest in evangelical cult-type shit comes up when i try. i drink heavily occasionally, mostly because i just really like the experience of getting blasted with close friends once every few months--any advice on tracking down actual *reputable* data on the risks of that?

(tamping down on the urge to anonymously defend my actions in my favorite anarchism blogger's inbox but i *will* allow myself to defensively note that i never drink to the point of blacking out or puking. this isn't really relevant to the question i just have brain problems where i feel compelled to defend myself against imaginary assumptions.)

Okay i want to start this out by pointing out that I'm not particularly judgemental about drug use. Any drug use.

Basically, you do you. As long as you're not drinking and driving or otherwise doing harm (for instance, attempting to provide childcare while too intoxicated to do so safely) the only thing you have to worry about is what alcohol is doing to *you* and I was a smoker for like twenty years knowing full well how awful for me it was. If you want to drink and you know the risks, do what you want.

So, all that said, I mean this very gently (because it's clear that this is a sensitive issue for you) but it is not particularly difficult to find good data about risks associated with alcohol from sources less biased than American evangelicals.

For some research on the overall risks of alcohol consumption, here are some good, comprehensive, recent papers about the effects of alcohol on both individuals and populations.

Risk thresholds for alcohol consumption: combined analysis of individual-participant data for 599,912 current drinkers in 83 prospective studies

Population-level risks of alcohol consumption by amount, geography, age, sex, and year: a systematic analysis for the Global Burden of Disease Study 2020

Alcohol consumption and risks of more than 200 diseases in Chinese men

Getting occasionally blasted with friends is what's called "binge drinking" - which is defined as five or more drinks within two hours for men or four or more drinks in two hours for women, or reaching a BAC of .08 (the legal limit for driving in the US). This is a lot lower than most people think of when they think of "binge drinking" - that's five beers, an average bottle of wine, or two strong cocktails like a long island iced tea. Five or more drinks wouldn't put most people into blacking out or puking territory, and if you're a seasoned drinker a BAC of .08 may not feel like anything over the top or ridiculous, but it is a drinking binge nonetheless and there are specific risks associated with binge drinking. Here are some write-ups on binge drinking specifically:

Binge drinking: Burden of liver disease and beyond

Binge Drinking’s Effects on the Body

Effects of Repeated Binge Drinking on Blood Pressure Levels and Other Cardiovascular Health Metrics in Young Adults

I get the urge to feel defensive, it sounds like this is something that's concerning you and from the tone of your ask it seems like this is something that you were not aware of and has made you uneasy. (And it sounds like you're around a lot of people who ARE judgemental about alcohol consumption for reasons that have to do with them imposing their morality on you, which is a shitty position to be in)

But hey i wouldn't be a very good marginal anarchist if I wasn't about making sure that people have informed interactions with the world.

I still go out and get shitfaced every once in a while because it's fun and there are things that I can do to mitigate the risks (like making sure I'm around safe people, don't have access to a motor vehicle, and don't do it often) but I do so with the awareness that what I am doing could have some pretty bad consequences and I need to make sure to watch out for my health to keep an eye on the systems that drinking like that might impact. If you're gonna drink, you should be keeping an eye on yourself generally. If you're gonna drink heavily (even if it's only every couple of months), you have got to keep an eye on your liver, pancreas, and heart specifically.

312 notes · View notes

ladykailitha · 1 year

Text

Royal Pain Part 2

This is the truly large part that I couldn’t find a safe place to stop without making it too short.

Eddie talks to his band about Steve and we meet Miranda, Jeff’s girlfriend. In fact Jeff and Miranda’s relationship is based on a couple friends of mine. They really do be like that.

Part 1

***

Three hours later and Steve was done, pulling off the latex gloves. He sat back with a satisfied grin. “Go on, go take a look.” He jutted his chin toward the three way mirror in the room.

Eddie hopped to his feet, grateful to be able to move again. Sitting still was the hardest part of the tattoo process. But Steve had kept his mind and body occupied by catching up with him. They chatted the full three hours without ceasing or awkward pauses.

He stood in front of the mirror in shock, letting out a small gasp. “Holy shit, Stevie. It’s beautiful.” And it was, too. It looked like his picture brought to life but with the chain swirling around like it had fallen on to Eddie’s chest to rest there. And it seemed to glow with an unearthly light.

“I’m glad,” Steve said with fond smile. He picked up the camera and took a picture of the tattoo.

Then he hopped up off the stool and went to a small side table where there was a stack of business cards. He picked one up and grabbed a pen, writing on the back.

He walked over to Eddie and handed it to him. “Call the front number if you want me to do the bat wings, call the one on the back if you just want to hang out.”

Eddie looked down at the card with a grin. “You’ve got it, big boy!”

“Do you want me to cover it with a gauze so you can put your shirt back on?” Steve asked, nervously.

Eddie frowned in confusion, but Steve nodded at his chest. He looked down at his tattoo. “Oh! Right! Yes, please!”

Steve bandaged it up and handed Eddie back his shirt. Which was good because Steve kept looking at him and while it didn’t make him feel uncomfortable or anything, it just seemed to see him and that was something he had never felt before.

They shook hands and Eddie wandered back to the front to pay. He tapped the card against his palm thoughtfully.

He held up the card and stuck out his tongue and Robin stuck out hers in return.

After she rang him up she handed him a small black gift bag with their logo on it. “For all our first time clients. It comes with instructions on how to take care of the tattoo for first few weeks. Not that you’d need that, but it’s there anyway. It also comes with clean bandages and our own special lotion. Most hand lotions will work, but ours is formulated for tattoo care.”

Eddie blinked at her in shock. This didn’t sound like a rote spiel, this was something they were passionate about. He pulled out the instruction booklet. It was beautifully illustrated with step-by-step directions on how to take care of the tattoo not just for the first couple of days but how to prevent the colors from fading too quickly over time.

“This is really well done,” he said with a low whistle.

Robin beamed. “Another one of Stevie’s nuggets. Will the Wise. He’s a pretty good graphic artist. He did the illustrations, too.”

Eddie nodded appreciatively. “I didn’t meet that one. Something about having to move to California for his freshman year...”

Robin nodded. “His mom got accepted at a college out there to get her associates in fine art, then came back to get her teacher’s license out here so she could teach in Indiana.”

“Must have been hard on the kids,” Eddie said, putting the pamphlet back into the bag.

Robin nodded. She leaned forward on her forearms. “You going to call or am I going to be subjected to the worst pining outside the worst rom-coms?”

Eddie raised an eyebrow. “I don’t even know what that means.”

“Steve doesn’t do full back tattoos,” Robin explained. “Or large pieces of any kind. He had a bad experience once where he did one and the guy got super pissed, threatened to sue even.” She straightened up. “Not that he would tell you that. He’d probably say some bullshit about that he gets bored too easy or whatever.

“Excuse me, what?” he asked, confusion settling in.

“Steve doesn’t like doing big tattoos, but wants to do yours, ergo he likes you and wants an excuse to spend several hours over several weeks with you,” she explained slowly as if she was talking to a small child.

Eddie’s jaw dropped. “Oh.” He looked down at his chest. “I’d like to set up an appointment for the first session.”

Robin grinned. She pulled up the schedule and get it situated. “All done.”

Eddie grinned back and tapped the card on the counter thoughtfully. Then he leaned far into her space. “And I’m going to call him, too.”

Her eyes went wide as he turned on his heel and walked away.

He licked his lips and bit down on the lower one. Looks like he wasn’t going to kill Jeff after all. He might have to send flowers. The bastard.

Eddie strolled into the garage his band practiced in with a huge shit-eating grin. Brian looked up at him and grinned back.

“Someone is super happy,” he said. “I take you liked your tattoo...”

Jeff snorted. “And how was the tattoo artist?”

Eddie grin managed to get even bigger. “About that Jeffie...is there something you forgot to tell me?”

Jeff laughed. “I wasn’t going to tell you shit, man. I knew you wouldn’t go if you knew who it was.”

Eddie cocked his head to the side and then nodded. “Yeah, I guess. But fuck, man. He’s so good.”

Gareth jutted his chin out. “So come on, let’s see.”

Eddie pulled up his shirt and carefully peeled away the bandage to show them.

“Wicked!” Brian said, bobbing his head.

“You try the lotion yet?” Jeff asked. “Holy shit, that stuff is so good.”

Eddie shook his head. “Not yet. But I can’t wait to. I can’t stand the scented stuff and even non-scented stuff is scented.”

Jeff nodded. “I think you’ll really like theirs.”

Eddie shrugged. “Buckley is a bit intimidating as a receptionist, though...”

Jeff threw back his head and laughed. “She is that. But I think she just gets defensive because it’s ‘not a proper tattoo parlor’ or whatever,” he said, using air quotes.

Eddie nodded and carefully put away his tattoo, pulling down the shirt. “I never really got the dingy backdoor aesthetic, if I’m honest. Maybe that’s why there are so many tattoo ‘regerts’.”

They all burst out laughing.

“Could be,” Jeff conceded.

Eddie chewed on his lip and then blurted out, “I’m letting him do the bat wings!”

The room got so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

“No fucking way,” Gareth breathed, almost afraid to break the silence.

Eddie nodded. “You’ve seen what he can do with Jeff’s idea and with mine. Think of what he could do given carte blanche...”

“It’s going to take forever,” Brian cautioned.

“And it’s going to hurt like a bitch,” was Gareth’s warning.

Jeff leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees. “Do you really trust him to do this for you? Because we aren’t talking about some little tattoo because you felt like it. This is your tribute to finally getting out of Hawkins and making something of your self. If he fucks it up, you two wouldn’t survive the ensuing fallout.”

Eddie frowned. “Why would it matter to him if I don’t like–” he cut himself off as he remembered what Buckley said about being threatened with a lawsuit. “It would destroy his career, wouldn’t it?”

“He sure as hell wouldn’t want to tattoo anymore,” Jeff agreed. “So tread carefully. Talk to him about every step. Every choice. Because if this goes right, it’s going to be the most awesome collaboration ever. But if it goes south, man, it’s going to hit rock bottom.”

Eddie nodded. “I know, I know.” He threw his head back and ran his fingers through his hair. “But there is something about the way he does his tattoos, man, that just has this passion and spark to them. I liked Max. I still do. But her style is more abstract or impressionist or whatever. It’s not this photo realistic style that Stevie has that just makes the tattoo pop.” He buried his head in his hands.

He ran his fingers down his face. “Am I fucked up for wanting that?”

The rest of the band looked at each other, then shook their heads.

“No, Ed,” Gareth said. “Of course not. We just want you to think about this before diving into it, face first.”

Eddie sighed. “Look you guys all know who I had the biggest crush on while we were in school. You know. So tell me this isn’t some weird self-actualization shit or something.”

Brian came over and sat down next to him on the two-seater. “There might be some truth to that. He was different from how he was in high school. Even Jeff’s said as much. He’s a good tattoo artist. No one is saying otherwise. And maybe that brought up old feelings again. So it’s going to up to you to decide if that’s why you’re going back.”

Gareth started waving his hands. “Not that that’s a shit reason for going back. Because as far as reasons to get a tattoo, being in love is one of the oldest there is.”

Jeff scoffed, “Pretty sure it was war or some shit like that.”

Gareth rolled his eyes. “Modern tattooing you fucker.”

Jeff grinned back at his friend. “Love you, Gare!”

“Fuck off,” Gareth teased back, he turned back to Eddie. “Just acknowledge that’s why.”

Eddie sighed. “Yeah, okay. I want to Steve Harrington to tattoo my back because he’s the best artist for the job, his work is incredible, and because I’ve always been half in love with the guy.”

He pulled out the business card and held it up between two fingers. “And because he gave me his personal cell number.”

The guys burst out laughing.

“Dude!” Brian said bumping their shoulders together. “Boy still got game.”

Eddie ducked his head and hid his blush with his hair. “Yeah, all right.”

Jeff leaned back and shook his head. “You gonna call the dude or do we have to do it for you?”

Eddie squeaked and waved his hands around dramatically. “No, no. I’ve got this. But I told him I would call after band practice. So if we could get on that, yeah?”

They all pulled out their instruments while Gareth sat behind his kit. He pulled out two drumsticks and tapped out the first few beats of their new song for the others to tune in.

Soon they were rocking out. They went through the songs a few times, repeating parts that were rougher than others. In no time at all they done, tired, covered in sweat, and absolutely satisfied with a job well done.

“Good job, guys,” Jeff said as they packed up. “We’re ready for tomorrow. Anyone need a lift tomorrow? I’ve the car this weekend.” Jeff lived with his girlfriend Miranda Winters and they only had the one beat up four door sedan between them.

“I’ll need a ride,” Brian said. “Mine’s in the shop. That damn radiator cap leaked again.”

Jeff winced. “I think you just junk the damn thing and get something else, man. You’re pumping more money into that piece of shit then it’s worth.”

Brian nodded. “I’ve almost got enough saved up for a newer model. That clunker just has to last that long.”

“You gonna need a ride home tonight, too?” Jeff asked as he zipped up his soft guitar case.

Brian shook his head. “Cecil’s coming to get me.” Cecil was Brian’s roommate. “He dropped me off tonight, he just works tomorrow night.”

They all nodded.

Jeff turned to Gareth. “You got a ride?”

Gareth nodded. “Yeah, man. Gethin is visiting this weekend and wants to see us play. So I’ve got a ride to both Friday and Saturday’s shows.”

“How about you Ed,” Jeff asked. “Your clunker gonna make this weekend?”

Eddie scoffed. “Dude, my clunker as you call my noble steed is in better shape than yours and Brian’s combined. She’ll be fine.”

Jeff chuckled. “Whatever you say, man. That thing is a four-wheeled death trap and you know it.”

Eddie put his hand over his heart, mock-wounded. “Forsooth! You dare disparage the mighty Snowmane!”

Gareth eyed sidelong. “You’re just procrastinating calling Steve. So hop to it, boy! We want to see you call him.”

Eddie sighed, but pulled out his phone. He typed in the number on the back of the card, knee bouncing up and down as he waited.

Click.

“Hey, Stevie!” Eddie greeted. “It’s Eddie. I said I’d call after practice and here I am.”

“No it was good,” Eddie said. “Yeah. We are so ready for this weekend.”

“Yup,” he said, avoiding looking at his friends. “Hey, you and Robin should come out either tomorrow or Saturday.”

“Saturday it is,” he said with a grin. “The Nightmare Holes bar at 8pm.”

“Yeah,” Eddie said, holding his hair in front of his face to hide his deepening blush. “I’ll talk to guys and get back to you on that. But it sounds like fun.”

“Of course,” he said softly. “Yeah. It was good to see you again, too.”

“Yeah, I’ll see you then. Bye.”

He looked up to see his friends staring at him in varying degrees of shock.

“Holy shit, dude,” Gareth said, standing up from behind his kit. “You really do have it bad.”

Just then the door opened and Miranda walked in. She was tall and thin, having done ballet for years. When she stood, her body automatically fell into pointe. Her dark brown hair was in a French braid that went down to the small of her back. Her eyes were an all too knowing grey, and when she walked in, she a mischievous grin on her pretty face.

“Who’s got what bad?” she asked, coming up to Jeff to give him a kiss.

“Our Eddie boy’s got a crush on his new tattoo artist,” Brian said gleefully, rubbing his hands together.

Eddie glared at him. “I swear to god if you say anything else I will smash your base by going eighty miles an hour on the freeway and tossing it out the fucking window.”

Brian held up his hands in surrender.

“Technically, it’s a old crush,” Gareth said with a shit-eating grin, “but it checks out.”

Miranda turned to Eddie clapping her hands and jumping up and down. “Steve Harrington is your new tattoo artist? That must blow your fucking mind!”

Eddie blushed. “Come on, guys!”

“All right,” Jeff said stepping forward. “Leave the man alone. He just had his world view tilted on its axis, give him time to get through that first.”

Eddie smiled up at him. “Thanks, man.”

“And then tease the shit out of him,” Jeff continued.

Eddie huffed and threw himself back on the two-seater and glowered. “Fuck all you guys.”

“Hey, Brian,” Miranda said, “Cecil is out in the parking lot waiting for you.”

Brian nodded and said his goodbyes, heading out to meet his roommate.

Miranda turned to Gareth and Jeff. “If you guys are ready, go ahead and go out to the car. I need to have a word with Eddie real quick.”

Jeff and Gareth nodded and waved goodbye to Eddie. Leaving the two of them alone.

She sat down next to him and sighed. “Teasing aside, are you okay?”

Eddie pursed his lips and nodded. “It’s just such a shock. He has his own tattoo parlor. He pays his best friend to receptionist for him. And fuck if he isn’t talented to boot.” He lifted up his shirt and showed her the new tattoo.

“Holy fuckballs!” she said reaching out her hands to touch it, but stopping just in time. “It looks so real.”

Eddie covered it back up and put his shirt back down. “I’m going to have him do my wings.”

Miranda nodded. “Just tell him that if he fucks up with you, Miranda Winter will be coming for his ass.”

Eddie chuckled. “I’ll be sure and tell him, but he’s coming to the concert on Saturday if you wanted to meet him.”

“Sure thing, darlin’,” she said. “I’ve got to get back out their before they completely change all my radio programs to metal again.”

Eddie laughed. “Well maybe if you listened to good music, they wouldn’t have to.”

“Shut your whore mouth, pretty boy,” Miranda teased back. “I happen to like alt rock.”

Eddie just grinned as he watched her leave.

He frown slid off his face. Oh fuck. What if Steve didn’t like metal? No. Then he would have turned Eddie down, because he new it was a metal band. But what if he forgot. But he remembered a lot about him. So he wouldn’t just forget in a couple of hours. Fuck.

There was nothing for it he was going to have to call Uncle Wayne.

***

Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Epilogue

Tag List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @artiststarme @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @pyrohonk @renaissan-vvitch @goodolefashionedloverboi @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence @plyerice27 @thedragonsaunt @chaoticlovingdreamer @sapphirecobalt-1 @a-little-unsteddie @i-must-potato @danili666 @carlyv @rozzieroos @wonderland-girl143-blog @itsall-taken @justforthedead89 @emly03 @bookworm0690 @aizawa-emma @thesuninyaface @bookbinderbitch @yikes-a-bee @littlewildflowerkitten @archermightbegay

#My writing #stranger things #steddie #tattoo artist steve #ladykailtiha writes

281 notes · View notes

hxhhasmysoul · 8 months

Note

So do you think Sukuna doesn’t feel alone or do you think he just thinks no one will ever be able to fill that void? I kinda got mixed messages with his whole monologue. It seems he resents people who adore him yet he also says that he answers people’s live in battle. He says that if that’s not what love is then what else could it be? He then says love is trash/worthless. I kinda get the impression he doesn’t think he’s capable of having a connection with someone. What makes it weirder is before the Gojo fight, he remembers Yorozu’s words about teaching him about love. I also suspect this ties into his hatred for Yuji. Sorry for long ask lmao. I just find your perspective interesting.

My take on Sukuna has for a while been that he's full of shit. To some extent. And it's a little hard to have a proper take not knowing his back story. What Gege has given us so far isn't that much so everything I write below is like extremely speculative.

The unwanted child and twins theory

Sukuna was an unwanted child because of what he looked like at birth - the word 忌み子 implies that because it's an old word with these specific connotations. He is probably the conjoined twin which absorbed most of his sibling in the womb but was born with 4 eyes, 4 arms, an extra mouth and the strange bark like skin on his face. Japan has never been good on this kind of stuff. I'm not going to break out my uni books for this but something to check out is the concept of purity and how it influenced philosophy, religion and life in Japan. One of the simplest examples here is that the word kirei (きれい) that many people associate with the meaning "beautiful" has also the meaning "clean" and "pure". The thing that's pure is beautiful. And it does go the creepy way you think, beauty of the unblemished, of the "normal" too. And Sukuna's body would really not be in line with that concept.

Pair it up with the fact that in Japan twins were considered bad luck and he gets abandoned after birth. Not sure why not murdered, killing newborns was also a thing, the whole Jizo cult is related to that, though Jizo specifically, I think is more recent than Heian... don't take it for granted, as I said, I'm not rereading the uni texts.

Maybe his parents weren't able to kill him because of his cursed energy, maybe they were afraid he'd come back as a vengeful spirit.

But despite what a lot of the Gojou girlies scream on social media, Sukuna doesn't whine about it. The way he mentions it makes it seem he doesn't care about it at this point. (Whether he used to care, we don't know yet). And he uses it to dismiss the premise of Kashimo's question. The way I see it, Sukuna says it doesn't matter, he doesn't know his origins so he will never know the answer to this question. He still is the strongest.

He survived without the love of his parents at his weakest. That's probably why he resents the weak because like all dipshits who accomplish something, he thinks: if I could, what is your excuse?

Though we can't say with any certainty that he survived on his own. We don't know whether Kenjaku or Tengen, didn't collect him to experiment on him. We don't know when he met Uraume.

If the theory seeing Sukuna's origins in a the Ryoumen Sukuna urban legend is correct, then it's not unlikely Kenjaku found Sukuna and had fun with him. (Also please keep in mind that while this story is referred to as an urban legend and might be fully or partially made up, the level of violence against people with unusual bodies it includes is kinda on brand for the time period. So like read with that in mind.)

Also it might mean that Sukuna's twin wasn't completely dead yet, wasn't as fully absorbed as his current body would suggest. It's not impossible that Kenjaku removed some of the twin and helped Sukuna achieve a usable body, maybe told him to absorb the twin and their soul to become full, like in the case of Maki and Mai. But maybe Kenjaku still kept some of the twin's body and that soul. In this case Sukuna referring to Yuuji as being from back then could refer to that and feed into the Yuuji was created from Sukuna's twin. Existing partially as a cursed object, and having this strong connection to Sukuna could be what enhances Yuuji's soul powers. And also would make him uniquely predisposed to cage Sukuna.

This also would feed into the theories as to why Sukuna acts the way he does towards Kenjaku. Why he's kinda cold towards them but goes along with their plots. If Kenjaku was indeed the person to take him in when he couldn't really fend for himself, and helped make his body more usable, then there's a huge debt there. And the concept of debt is another huge cultural thing in Japan.

This would also explain why Sukuna is skeptical about love, because Kenajku's parenting is well Kenjaku's parenting. He could've been their prized experiment but so is Yuuji.

While I personally don't love the Yuuji is Sukuna's twin, I don't find it unfounded.

I'm not particularly excited for it coming true because I'd love for Yuuji to be a separate person from Sukuna. Someone who's weak and unrelated to him but who can still cage him.

But with what we know about Maki and Mai, and with the unwanted child thing, Yuuji could be his twin. It would explain why he had no cursed energy, because when Sukuna absorbed and killed him, he would've lost it. If Sukuna absorbed his twin after birth and not before, if they consciously lived together for a while that has implications too.

Full on speculation bordering on fanfiction ahead. It might be why Sukuna chastises Yuuji for wanting to live despite being weak, for clinging to life. If he absorbed his twin post birth, and if he did that consciously, his twin was his first kill. It might have not been easy, not pretty and he might have not done it as cold and detached as he wished to. Or as he now wishes he had been. If Yuuji is his twin there may have been a similar conflict between Sukuna and him, as existed between Mai and Maki. Yuuji being the one more content with their suffering and Sukuna rejecting it, but also Yuuji being his emotional support, the one holding all his misery.

Absorbing his twin would've also likely been his first act of cannibalism. It's honestly a little funny that we haven't seen Sukuna consume anyone so far. But Yuuji has been eating human remains left and right. He now seems to be eating his own skin. It has been speculated that absorbing cursed techniques through eating people is Sukuna's og cursed technique. But if the twins theory is true, it's not entirely impossible that absorbing techniques through cannibalism was his twin's ability.

Sukuna's fanclub

Whatever happened, Sukuna got no love as a kid. If he was Kenjaku's ward then he only got appreciation if he exceeded Kenjaku's expectations.

So either he got this strong because he was rejected and had to survive and had no one to socialise him. Or he was socialised by Kenjaku who always wanted more of him and who also has zero concern for others.

So for him to get appreciation later in life, once he gets power and influence and titles, it must feel hollow. It must feel fake and like trash. It feels like people wanting things from him and offering nothing in return. Because none of them, Yorozu, Gojou, Kashimo, offer him anything he wants. They want to teach him love selfishly, their love is there to fulfill their needs. What his needs may be? None of them care to ask.

If that's what people around him consider love then there's no appeal in it for him. At most they can provide him with some entertainment and Sukuna loves fighting.

He really seems to enjoy battles, he will tease and indulge his opponents as long as it entertains him. He also seems to love cursed energy and jujutsu and he's always analysing what's going on. Little creepy nerd. He also seems to enjoy mentoring but not so much giving therapy XD

Sukuna and Yuuji

Sukuna's issue with Yuuji is all the more interesting because in theory Yuuji should be interesting to him. Yuuji has skills and is an extremely fast learner. He develops much faster than Megumi and reaches surprising understanding of cursed energy and the soul in a very short time.

But Sukuna seems to be annoyed by Yuuji. He pettily bullies Yuuji, disrespects him. Never acknowledges Yuuji's progress. Yuuji's weakness irks him in a very special way. Probably because Yuuji has control over him. But also because he can't break Yuuji, can't get him to cower or adore him. Yuuji doesn't follow any pattern Sukuna expects.

Yuuji also doesn't have the aspirations to become the strongest. Just strong enough. And he wants his strength not as much for himself but for others. Which really separates him from Sukuna's fanclub and most other jujutsu sorcerers.

If the twins theory is true, being with Yuuji also brought Sukuna back. He might vaguely remember what it used to be like to share all his time with someone. Maybe with his twin it was the other way round. Sukuna was in control of the body and the twin mostly lived in the inner domain? Maybe something like this used to be Sukuna's biggest fear?

Also if they were twins, Yuuji caging Sukuna would really affect his sense of self. He had perfected his jujutsu, studied cursed energy and fighting. Only to be held back by the weaker twin he though he'd got rid of.

Of course all this hinges on how much he remembers and how well. Some of the resentment might've been subconscious, of course. He seem to understand who Yuuji is only after he leaves Yuuji's body. Maybe he needed that distance? Maybe he needed to see again where Yuuji ends and he begins to understand who they really are?

Sukuna and Uraume

Having said that, I think Sukuna is perfectly capable of forming relationships with others. He has one with Uraume. They vibe together really well. They are happy to be around one another. Uraume is his servant but Sukuna jokes around with them. He also shows them respect and consideration. It's obvious he knows enough about Uraume to know how they feel and he addresses those feelings directly with praise or reassurance.

Gege said in the fanbook that Sukuna doesn't mind Uraume and likes their cooking skills. Which is probably true and probably how it started. But by now there is some sort of close relationship between them. It may not be romantic or sexual, like Gege seems to believe (as fandom that decision is truly up to us), but there is some kind of love, maybe platonic love of friends.

Because the issue is also quite semantic in nature. What do you define as love. I personally am wary to call the selfish adoration Sukuna's fanclub had for him as love. For me personally love has to go both ways and have an element of mutual mindfulness, it cannot be declared by one side and somehow become binding for the other.

That's why I think Sukuna is kinda full of shit. He might not believe himself capable of forming relationships. Or he might deem that pointless. But he's actually capable of it and he seems to enjoy the one relationship he has. Maybe the key to that acceptance is him believeing that there's nothing more there than Uraume being his servant?

#answering asks #jjk spoilers #jjk 238 #sukuna #my ramblings #seriously this got very long #i'm still unsure how i feel about the whole twins theory #even though i gave it here a lot of thought XD

94 notes · View notes

study-core-101 · 2 months

Text

Popular Study Methods I dont like

(By Jay)

A list of study techniques that dont work for me at all. But study methods can work amazing for one person and then just complicate studying more for another. If they work for you, awesome, i'm happy about that. These are my personal experience with them, a lot of people wont relate and thats fine, people are different. But if you relate why these common/popular methods dont work for me, know you arent the only one and that there are more options. People might tell you "this method is amazing, you should do this" and there for you is shit.

Memorazing

Avoid this. When you memorize you dont learn. You cannot conect concepts because you dont understand. One thing is memorazing formulas, which is nessesary, but memorazing everything doesnt work. Understandment is way better. Yes, we need to remember and storage the information in our memory, but memorazing is different. Knowing the theory ord by word is shit if you cannot explain it in different words, conect it wit other concepts or put in practise.

Flashcards

Yep, studyblr favourite study method. Bear with me.

For me, it is a really passive way. When i make the Q&As of the flashcards, i remember the answers. I dont think. I associate the words. And then, when the test has the questions phrased different, my mind goes blank. It seem liked i learned because i remember but i wasnt actually learning.

Now you are probably thinking "use it for vocabulary". That doesnt help me either. Maybe it helps for knowing the meaning in a reading, but writing? I cant remember the spelling. For learning to spell a word i need to write it down. Use it in a sentence. Reading it over and over doesnt do anything.

All-nighters

Oh god, there is nothing worse than an all-nighter. One all-nighter will ruin your sleep schedule for weeks and tired=learn less. Plus, too much all-nighters lead to burn out.

With better time management, all-nighters wouldnt probably exist, or at least, be reduced by a lot

Also, as someone with chronic migraines, an all-nighter'd only give me a week straight with only terrible pain and i prefer failing a subject than that (i'd had to learn the hard way that lesson. always prioritaze your health)

Pomodoro

It's a little bit hypocrital of me to put it here, as I usually reccomend it to others. But personally? It just de-motivaties and stresses me. (disclaimer: it is a good technique, thats why i recomend it even if it doesnt work for me).

I'll explain why. The only way i can do a lot of productive stuff together (or just a long assignment) is to "get in the mood" or have like a "streak". I usually have to power through the first 5-10 minutes of studying and then i get super motivated and do a lot until my brain asks for a break. When the timer rings, it breaks it and i have to repeat the rutine again. It wouldnt be so bad if it wasnt that i work 3 or 4 times faster when i motivated than when i am powering through.

Also, having the self-impose deadline of a pomodoro (i know it isnt technically a deadline, but for some unknown reason, my brain processes it as one) makes me nervous and gives me anxiety. Just knowing the timer is going to go off anytime un-focus me. It's unnesesary stress.

26 notes · View notes

soulmvtes · 1 month

Note

dif anon. you’re so valid about being allowed to have your opinions on ts and her songwriting but saying that it has never been her strongest appeal is truly insane and i'm fully saying this as a casual listener. i study literature and i've had definitely more than a few courses about her composition and writing process and i feel the hate train on stuff she decides not to speak about (even if it benefits her or not, because i believe she doesn’t owe shit to anyone on that department) on her is just so unnecessary at this point of her career that most people (ngl including you) don’t even try to see beyond the basics and surface on her lyricism and is so wild to me that random individuals just comment on her as if she wasn’t a genuine ally of serious literature but well, that’s just me hah :) id be lying if i say she has some cringey lyrics here and there but it’s the bare minimum because even on her earlier albums she’s been putting exceptional wording to express her feelings and emotions all at once.

i have to disagree with you on literally all of this. in my experience of ts like growing up listening to her, her lyricism really hasn't been her strongest appeal (which is not to say she doesn't have good lyrics at times!!! i think ur misunderstanding me bc i have said that her lyrics can be really good at times even in earlier albums) - i think definitely in more recent times there's been more of a focus on it but still, when i have thought about her and her music i have just never ever associated her with Good lyricism (which isn't a bad thing?) so i'm not sure if it's bc you are a fan/you listen to her a lot so it's more meaningful to you or what else you listen to (which i'm not saying in a mocking way at all) but i just can't see that as her entire thing personally. i study literature too so it's fair to say we have had very different experiences in terms of viewing her lyricism in that regard. i completely disagree that she doesn't owe anyone anything in speaking out about things tho, she definitely should use her reach and sway esp when its clear she picks and chooses. personally an artist means nothing to me if they can't engage with the material world around them. that doesn't mean they are required to be well versed on every single thing and make some kind of stance on everything but it's so clear which kind of lives and issues and people she values and i think that matters more to people (such as me) than her lyricism which people are often willing to look behind.

#you're more than welcome to disagree but this is my experience which could be very different to yours #also ur point that i/others don't see beyond her lyricism is strange bc i literally listen to her music n so do a lot of people who talk ab #her lyricism which suggests we do look beyond it?#asks

25 notes · View notes

xxavengingangelxx · 6 months

Text

Somewhere Only We Know 4/?

Part 4, loves!

Triggers: Flashbacks/nightmares about torture, mentions of self-harm, mentions of suicide, mentions of possibly abusing a pregnant woman (neither party knew yet), mindfuckery Graves playing mind games, possessive behavior. Let me know if I forgot any!

Taglist! @unicorngirly1 (thanks for the ideas, love!), @sharksausages, @bellgraves, @josieguts, @lily-lily131313, @shepgurl - if you want in, let me know :)

A/N: This is entirely new territory for me! Lots of ups and downs in this one. Let me know what ya'll think! These chapters are getting harder to write, I'm not sure why! It might be because of my overwhelming work schedule and exhaustion. But I love this fic :)

Val experiences ups and downs in her first few days back with Shadow Company. Graves increases security but Val still feels vulnerably, especially when she finds out she's still expected to be in the field to help put an end to Makarov, a man she is terrified of.

You woke up to someone with their hands on your arms. You forgot you were back with Graves and lashed out. Or you tried to. He subdued you easily.

“It’s me, Val,” he said quietly.

You sat up. He was dressed. You weren’t. The scratches on your arms were worse than you thought.

“Why’d you do that to yourself?”

“It was a lot. It just brought back bad memories,” you responded. You were getting teary-eyed. Again. Fuck these hormones. “Shit, they drugged me, restrained me. They had me in cuffs and were about to lock me up—”

He hadn’t seen you cry in months. The last time Graves had seen you cry was when you were being tortured for information. You covered your face, trying to keep from sobbing.

So Graves, surprisingly, just held you until your tears stopped. Bandages were placed on the worst scrapes.

Graves had done that before. He’d patched you up plenty of times after his men were finished ripping you to pieces while interrogating you. Your schooling background told you he had done that to get you to associate him with comfort and to make it more likely that you open up to him (and you did; you eventually broke under all that torture and gave Graves exactly what he wanted).

But one thing Graves had not done before, ever, was hold you. Sure, you’d both laid around in bed after having sex but that was a far cry from Graves holding you for comfort.

“Shepherd hadn’t made me aware it had gone that far,” Graves’s voice was calm, weirdly soothing. “Wait,” Graves gently pushed you out of his arms and those deep blue eyes met your darker, red-rimmed ones.

“So they were about to lock you up, and you were steps away from being put in a cell,” Graves stated.

“Yessir?”

“You can knock off the sir unless we’re roleplayin’, darlin,” Graves smirked. His tone then turned serious. “Why didn’t you break? You would’ve gotten way better treatment if you’d just talked, told ‘em everything about me, Shadow Company, everything.” Graves paused before adding, “About everything we did to you.”

“I couldn’t. You were just following orders.” you said simply. “It’s—I’m—I’m—I don’t know how to explain it. I’m weirdly attached to you. And I’m convinced it’s just gonna stay that way forever. You’re never gonna let me get away are you?” You stopped before adding, “Be honest,”

“Hell no,” Graves answered immediately. “I wasn’t gonna let you go before but now that you’ve got my kid? Never.”

“And what would you have done to me if I’d talked?”

Graves didn’t answer.

“Or maybe not you but your men.”

“Tread carefully, Val,” Graves warned darkly.

That tone, that look, let you know that if you pushed enough buttons in the right order on the wrong day, Graves wouldn’t hesitate to at least smack you.

“I’m scared of you, Graves,” you finally admitted. “And while they’ve saved my life several times in the field, I’m terrified of your men.”

And the next question slipped from your mouth before you had a chance to stop it. “Would you have had them hurt me knowing I’m pregnant? If I’d talked at that hospital?”

The look in Graves’s eyes said it all. It took every ounce of strength in his body not to at least shove you. But he restrained himself. You saw an inner battle in that blue gaze, kind of like a bright, blue-sky summer day being interrupted by storm clouds but with the storm not quite gaining enough strength.

“Phil,” his voice was much softer than expected. And the look on his face was one you’d never seen before. Concern? Regret? Shame? Alarm? “I need an honest answer to the next question I’m going to ask you,” his voice gained an edge but it was no longer near as intimidating as it had been a minute ago when he’d warned you to tread carefully, Val.

“We’ve been—together so to speak since—”

“You mean we’ve been fucking since the first night we met when 141 introduced me to you, yes,” you added shamelessly. Only you had expected that relationship to be a meaningless friends with benefits stress release on the battlefield. You two were the only Southern Americans on the blended unit and so you connected and you started fucking. Harmless, right? Now look where you were. You wondered just when Graves became obsessed with you.

Graves didn’t take comfort in your attempt at humor and again, you hadn’t smiled in over 3 months now so neither did you. You wanted to get to the bottom of what he was asking because you hated him questioning you about anything. It tended to bring back bad memories.

“Did I have you tortured while you were pregnant?” Graves asked. “How far along are you?”

And a tiny part of yourself wanted to make Graves to feel like shit for doing what he did to you. What had done to you had been war crimes. But the brainwashed part of yourself overwhelmed that rational part of your brain.

“I don’t know,” you responded. Besides, you were terrified of what he would do or what he would order his men to do to you if he found out you lied and said that yes you are 100 percent sure you had been pregnant when he’d had you tortured. “I’m between 2 and 3 months.”

“Holy shit,” Graves counted on shaky fingers. And then his gaze met yours when he made the connections in his brain. It was entirely possible that you were ether pregnant or became pregnant shortly after he’d had you tortured. “But that’s an estimate,”

“Yessir. Most likely between 2 and 3 months. I just didn’t show cuz…all the gear and the required exercise routine and I’m on the smaller side.”

“So there’s a possibility I—”

“I don’t think you tortured me while I was pregnant,” but were you really a hundred percent sure of that? The hospital had told you in clear words: “How far along you are right now is an estimate. You could be further along. The detention facility you’re going to is going to have to call in an OB to get your history and run other tests. We’re just not too confident in how far along you are other than to say you’re about 2-3 months.” Hell, you’d wondered back then if Graves had indeed had you tortured while you were pregnant.

But here you were again trying to protect him.

Graves had stepped out a while ago.

You were exhausted and your head pounded. You were again feeling sick and seriously fuck these hormones because you were teary-eyed again.

You cried yourself to sleep.

You dreamt of your initial captivity with Graves. When he was still having you tortured. Only at that point he had started introducing hypnotic and mind altering drugs to try and get you to break.

You were strapped down after you’d freaked out and pulled that IV out of your arm in a second attempt to take your life. You’d been beaten, tortured, sleep deprived, and now you were being drugged. A nurse practitioner and combat medic, Shadow 10-4, had been put in charge of balancing your medical needs and trying to get answers out of you using drugs.

Everything kept going from muffled to painfully sharp and loud. You were drifting in and out of consciousness although you probably looked unconscious to Graves who was standing in the room having a conversation with none other than his superior, Shepherd.

“She’s not gonna break, General,” Graves’s voice went to sounding far away to sounding like he was shouting in your face. He sat next to you. Right next to you and his weight, his scent, his presence made you want to get the hell away from him but you were restrained and you were getting more and more intoxicated off of whatever the hell they were pumping into your veins.

You tried to focus on the oxygen catheter pumping oxygen into your nose rather than Graves’s voice because Graves’s voice was nightmare fuel right now. He was the one commanding his men and telling them what to do when they ripped you apart looking for the codes to those homing beacons.

Your drugged out mind reminded you that there was a 10-year age gap between Graves and you. He was about 10 years older than you. The volume on his phone was set to be just loud enough to where you could hear it. So when he sat next to you to talk to his superior, your suddenly ultra sensitive ears picked up on what Shepherd was saying.

Or were you hallucinating?

“Keep the prisoner focused on their own self-preservation and eventually they will break.”

“General, we’ve broken men in hours and we’ve had her for days. She won’t break.” Graves paused before adding, “Let’s stop.”

“Now you’re outta your damn mind,” you heard Shepherd snap. “Stop letting your feelings for this brat cloud your judgement. She’s listed in your paperwork as an enemy combatant, is she not?” he demanded.

“Yes, sir, she is,” Graves conceded.

“Treat ‘er like one,” Shepherd ordered. “You haven’t done any of it yourself have you? Tortured her.”

“I give the order—”

“Not what I’m askin, soldier,”

“I can’t sir. I cannot.”

“Are you limiting your men in what they can do?” Shepherd sighed.

Graves didn’t answer.

“If she doesn’t break in the next day, I’m gonna come in and break her myself,”

You awoke with a start. When it came to these dreams, you weren’t sure if they were complete fabrications of your imagination or whether they were partially true or if they were something else entirely. Had Graves really wanted to stop trying to break you?

Now that you were back with Graves you reached towards the nightstand, looking for something. Graves’s men had shared with you a bad habit: vaping.

And when you found yourself getting emotionally overwhelmed, you found yourself doing two things: vaping and blasting music. But you didn’t have your headphones. For some reason, you hadn’t gotten those back from when you’d been detained. 141, the police, and the military had thought they might be wired as explosives.

You quickly learned that you didn’t have your vape either. If you knew Graves well, and you felt like you did, it was just one of the many minute details of your life that now Graves would ensure to have complete control over.

You were still trying to get used to Graves holding you just because he wanted to it seemed. It caused anxiety still because when he’d held you all those months ago it was to restrain you or hurt you. Even now you shook just slightly in his arms. Whether that was from fear, nicotine withdrawals, hormones, all of the above, or something else you did not know.

He still scared you and couldn’t he tell you were uncomfortable? It wasn’t like Graves to care. It seemed that your relationship would continue to be toxic, just in an entirely different way. Instead of being physically abusive, he was going to be physically and mentally overbearing. He would control every aspect of your existence and whenever that poor kid was born? Graves would control their existence, too.

“Why you hummin’, darlin’?” his voice made you jump. “Get your headphones and listen to something.”

“They didn’t give ‘em back to me when they handed me over to Shepherd,” you responded.

“That’s just fuckin’ cruel,” Graves commented. “No wonder you agreed to come back to me. Consider them replaced.”

“I can’t vape, can I?”

“No ma’am,” he drawled. “Took that shit before you even got back. That was a bad habit my boys taught ya.” He paused before adding, “I still wanna know why you didn’t talk. They were about to lock you up.”

“I wasn’t gonna betray the father of my child,” You said.

And just like that, Graves’s mood switched. “Shepherd was right,” he smirked. “You’d make great wife material.”

There was that word again: wife.

“I’ve got my boys staying here watching you,” Graves’s voice drew you out of a light slumber. Your eyes stung and you were nauseous. Graves’s kid hadn’t even been born yet and he was already giving you a hard time. “Plus I’ve got something for added security.”

And while you still did not completely feel safe around Graves’s men, they had saved your ass more than once in the field. You were too tired, too exhausted to talk. And you were scared that if you opened your mouth that you’d be sick.

One of the last things you heard was Graves telling one of his men just outside the door asking about you that you should be okay. Graves told him to just give you some space until he got back. That you felt warm and didn’t seem like you were feeling well.

The only thing you hoped for was that Graves would hold off on telling Shadow Company about the pending addition because while you somewhat trusted them to keep you safe, there was no fucking way in hell you’d trust any of those men with your child. Those men had beaten and tortured you for days on end.

Those were your last thoughts before you passed out from exhaustion.

The door squeaked open. It didn’t open much but someone or something slipped in. The bed dipped and you felt something wet on your face.

“Graves, c’mon man,”

Was he licking your face?!

“That’s Riley,”

You jumped up, covering yourself with the sheets. There was a large German Shepherd next to you, licking your face.

“Riley?” You remembered that 141 or it’s allies had a dog named Riley once.

Was it the same dog?

“It’s not the same dog,” Graves clarified. “I just named it the same just to fuck with ‘em,” he smirked.

You felt a twinge in your chest when you heard Graves said he still liked messing with 141.

“We’re not gonna get along,” Graves read your mind. “They took you from me and I don’t play that shit, sweetheart,”

“He’s mine?” Riley sniffed at your still-damp hair and it made you—

“All yours and you need to—” Graves looked at you and he paused, stop talking.

It took a moment to get Riley away.

“Now that’s somethin’ I’d pay to see more often,” Graves smiled genuinely.

You were confused. “What?”

“That smile,” Graves pointed out. “I haven’t seen that in 3 months.”

“It’s just air support,” Graves explained. “We have a lead on Makarov and chemical weapons he’s been stockpiling.”

And while you’d been playing with Riley on the floor of the conference room, smiling when he licked your face, Graves got your attention by calling your name.

“That’s where you and Riley come in,” Graves added.

Wait…Graves was expecting you to have boots on the ground when Makarov was involved?

“He’s not primarily an attack dog but will attack if you’re in danger. He’s mainly a bomb sniffing dog.”

After that, Riley wandered away thanks to Shadows offering treats and so he made his way around the table before returning to you and plopping down heavily in your lap. You turned the rest of the briefing out because even though you’d thought Graves was going to be removing you from the field entirely given your condition, he was basically putting you within Makarov’s reach.

And so you promised yourself that if Makarov captured you, you’d take yourself out, pregnant or not. There was no way you could repeat the whole capture, torture, breaking process. No way.

But you were convinced you knew Graves well, and you told yourself that since 141 got their hands on you and he almost lost you, he wasn’t willing to leave you behind anywhere. He was going to continue dragging you and your child all over the world if needed as long as he had you within arm’s reach.

Graves thought you were his property. And you were wondering if he would see his child as his property, as another way to control you.

You told yourself he would.

“You look nervous, darlin’” Graves smiled at you when you were the only two left in that large conference room. “I know just the thing to calm you down,” he winked suggestively.

#phillip graves #cod mw2 #phillip graves x reader #cod mwii #graves x reader #cod mw3 #longwayfromhome #mw2 141 #cod makarov #shadow company

46 notes · View notes

orionsangel86 · 18 days

Note

the stuff that happened to you in australia is wild, are you sure you're not stanley yelnats

Lol ya know sometimes I'll watch that film and think "this seems familiar" haha!

I don't talk about it much at all, and only a few people in my real life know the whole story. It happened 14 years ago but there are times when I think back to all the shit I did and risky decisions I made and wonder how I survived. At the same time I remember all the people who legit saved me at various points.

The Israeli guy who found me outside my hostel in sydney stressed and jetlagged and all alone and offered to take me to the beach for the few hours before I was able to check in. He bought me lunch. He kept a nervous half asleep and already sunburnt british girl company for my first few hours in Australia and was such a lovely guy. Not once did it feel like he had nefarious intentions.

The coach driver from Dubbo to Burke who saw a young girl all alone waiting to be picked up by a sadistic farmer who decided last minute not to pick me up til the next day so I was stuck at the Burke coach station at night all alone - the coach driver found me a hotel and paid for me for the night, he called his wife and got her to speak to me and give me her number as they were worried about me. They tried to convince me not to go to the farm - I should have listened.

The two Australian brothers who were on a hunting trip with their two young boys, who stayed on the sadistic farmers property and realised I was distressed, scared, and had no way out, and offered to smuggle me off his farm at 5am and take me back to Burke.

The Aussie guy who found me at the coach station in Dubbo after my long escape, asked if I was okay, and if I knew where the hostel was, and when I said no and burst into tears he found a hostel for me, called them and gave me a lift to the other side of town and got me checked in. Once I was there I knew I was safe, and the hostel manager got me in contact with the Aussie authorities to report my experience. Again, another saviour who wanted nothing but to know I was okay.

Its funny writing it down now, the good parts anyway, because each time I put my faith in strangers, all of them men, and in all circumstances it could have gone very bad, but miraculously in all circumstances for me they all just genuinely wanted to help.

I used to joke that my superpower was playing the damsel in distress and making men genuinely want to save me. But the fact is, I WAS a damsel in distress, and I WAS saved, by good decent people every time. The time I spent on the farm was horrible. I don't like to think about it much. I didn't come to any physical harm, but mentally it was the worst experience of my life - but I do try to remember the people who saved me. Who took care of me and extended kindness my way when I really needed it. Its made me a better person I think.

But anyway thats why I hate country music with a fiery passion. If you listen to it on repeat for 2 weeks whilst stuck in a prison of mind games, fear, and constant threats on your life, you start making associations. In the section of Hell reserved just for me, they play country music round the clock.

#I've been saying for years that i should write a book about it #but i doubt anyone would believe it #lol #too many rescues by random people #its too far fetched #even i dont believe it sometimes and i experienced it #anyway thats why i hate country music #personal #asks

10 notes · View notes

thecameronchronicles · 2 years

Text

Forgiveness

TW: Oral sex. Language.

SUMMARY: You decide there’s only one way to make him forgive you…

WORD COUNT: 550

REQUESTED:

Anonymous asked:

Hey! I love you’re writing and this is my forsst time sending a request 🥹

Can you do one where reader does something that makes rafe mad at her so then she makes it up to him giving him a bj to make him forgive her (maybe also she doesn’t have a gag reflex and she’s instantly forgiven)

Forgiveness

You didn't exactly mean to do it but it was enough to sour his already fragile mood. You'd already pushed his patience in your dress, one that was too revealing for what he believed only he should see. So for this accompaniment of disrespect, you were forced into his silence that even those usual puppy dog eyes would be means to obliterate. But there had been one unforgivable action that made any attempt you offered mute in contrast to your ambition. And that was association with a pogue. But not only had you associated, you conversed, you danced, you entertained the idea of someone else's hands on you. And for that, he didn't believe you deserved his. Or his attention at all for that matter.

As maddening as it was to give into his immature silent treatment, you were desperate for his forgiveness. You needed his touch, his kiss, his body against yours. And you knew there was one way in particular you could achieve it. Something you hadn't done out of fear of being bad at it for him with your limited experience. Even though you had been with Rafe in every other aspect, it was something he had never pushed, but something you know intrigued him. He was only human after all.

So you waited until he joined you in his bedroom, standing at the edge of the bed with the usual reprimanding stance as he waited for an apology as you would grant one with enthusiasm. His belt and pants were dropped in seconds as he had little time to understand what was happening until you had him at your lips.

"Please let me show you how sorry I am-" He clenched his jaw as you kept those eyes to him while pulling him deeper against your throat. But where he was in wait for that guttural rasp of a tested reflex, you just continued sucking him.

"Fuck! You don't have a reflex?!" You grinned, shaking your head.

"You're forgiven for every fucking thing you did and ever will do, shit!" He hissed as you were motivated for him. The sight of his slack jaw tensing as you watched him only endorsed you further as you corkscrewed his base and took the trophy of his precum across your tongue.

"I'm not gonna last baby! Slow down!"

You only shook your head as his eyes widened.

"You gonna swallow me?" You nodded.

"Fuck!" He trembled beneath your grip, no former experiences having brought him to an edge this quickly, something you knew as he would usually pride himself in harboring such stamina. But once again, you pushed him today. Only this time, it was to his benefit.

"Come..." You moaned around him, your hair tighter between his fingers as he watched your brows raised in the sudden rush of cum spurting down your throat.

"Holy shit..."

"Am I forgiven?" You teased, wiping your bottom lip as he scoffed.

"You let another pogue touch you and it will take more than that to make me forgive you..."

You smirked.

"Think I'm joking?"

"No..."

"Then why are you smiling like that?"

"Because you still haven't seen what I can do with my tongue..."

Taglist: @hopebaker @iovdrew @penny4yourthoughts @magnificantmermaid @pickingviolets @lovedetlost @trikigirl271 @maybankslover @slut4starkey @slvtherinseeker @obxiskewl @obxxrxfes @bluesongbird @slut-era @ailee-celeste @rafesbae @camilynn @bethoconnor @belcalis9503

#rafecameron x reader #rafecameronfanfiction #rafecameron #rafe cameron #rafe cameron smut #outerbanks #obx #outer banks smut #obxsmut #outer banks #obx fanfiction

223 notes · View notes

itsclydebitches · 1 year

Note

Haha, I explicitly don't tag my rwby critique posts as RWDE because I know people will just block or insult me without even reading what I wrote

Honestly? Valid choice. I've gone on record about my own choice to tag for both "RWBY" and "RWDE," but to be frank I think "RWDE" is a borderline useless tag. RWDE folks have never agreed on what should go in there. Non-RWDE folks have definitely never agreed on what should go in there. It was created as an absurd way to divide the fandom between (incredibly subjective) Good Content and Bad Content, with the result that this actively undermines the purpose of posting on tumblr: for new people to see your stuff. Most of us recently saw that post with someone understandably asking what in the world RWDE was... as well as some of the top answers that provided an incredibly biased, borderline lying definition. Unlike something like "RWBY Critical" that both tells newcomers what it is and does so in a neutral way (these are posts that are critical of RWBY and the tag itself gives no indication as to whether that's a good or bad thing), "RWDE" is nonsensical to anyone not already in the know and is a RWBY-fied version of a very negative word: "rude." Despite most of us embracing that, it's still a tag designed to turn newcomers off.

So how is anyone supposed to find like-minded community members when our main tag doesn't follow any other tagging conventions, is framed as a negative from the get-go, and polite questions are immediately met with the more intense fans painting the worst picture possible? That was always the point. RWDE isn't "We just want you to have your own space where we don't have to engage" it's "We want to make this as difficult as possible so eventually you'll just leave." So... yeah. I use it because I know it will hit an already established core group actively looking for the kind of content I write, but I 100% understand you and others going, "Why would I use that? The fandom has been trained to block on sight. That's not going to help other people see my work on the Let Other People See My Work site."

I think I've said this before, but I want to do a version of those wine social experiments. You know the ones where they take super duper cheap wine, stick a fancy label on it, tell people it's the Most Expensive Vintage Ever, and watch them wax poetic on how absolutely stunning the taste is? Give RWBY fans a post without tags/blog name (or, to follow the pattern, with misleading tags/blog names), watch as many people agree with the points made -- or at least consider them seriously -- and then go, "Aha! This was a RWDE post all along!" Like any fandom under the sun you'll never have people agreeing on criticism and there will always be individuals who can't stand a word said against the show... but I guarantee if you removed the bias associated with RWDE you'd get a lot more fans who are RWDE.

Also, side-note, gotta love that I make a post talking about how fans are too inclined to attack critics than engage with what they're saying or simply ignore their stuff... and what's at the top of my inbox but someone calling me a piece of shit and accusing me of stuff I've never ever done (harassing the creators, misusing Monty's name -- the usual accusations that, as I said, fans pick up and repeat ad nauseam without thinking through whether they're accurate).

Me: Hey, don't send people insults, baseless accusations, and death threats because you disagree over the quality of a show

Anons: [Immediately send insults, baseless accusations, and death threats for the sin of telling them not to do that]

#rwde #rwby #mymetas

41 notes · View notes

bullet-prooflove · 25 days

Note

OMG "Kelnon, Prompter of Matthew Keller" I love that! It makes me feel like a knight of the round table lol. Thank you for bestowing me the honor of being knighted, I'm glad I could make your morning better! And yes, I agree ol' Matty boy certainly does have a long way to go since he tends to keep all of his emotions locked away far down in the deep hole of his mind. It's like what Neal said to him during the last episode of the show.

[SPOILER WARNING FOR ANYONE WHO HASN'T SEEN WHITE COLLAR GO CHECK IT OUT IT'S GREAT]

Matthew is once again giving Neal shit for being "too trusting," and Neal hits him where it hurts by saying that yeah, maybe he is very trusting but he also has many people in his life who truly care about him. Whereas Matthew is all alone in the world. And Ross McCall is such an amazing actor cuz you can see for a split second that Matthew was indeed hurt by what he said! There's this flash of pain in his eyes that slips away just ad quickly as you see him put on his "bad boy" persona again to protect himself. And then only minutes later have Peter shoot him dead, and the camera pans out to show him all alone with no one to mourn him??? So poetically tragic, I love it. One of the best TV villains!

Sorry for the long ramble lmao has it been made very apparent yet that I love him? Is it starting to become clear? Anywho, I'd also be curious to know what the "meet-cute" was for the reader and Matthew and at what point did both of them realize "oh shit, I might feel something for this person!?" But that's not an official request or anything! Only you get to choose what you write and don't write, and I totally respect that. I hope you're doing well! 💗

- Kelnon

I have always felt that Matt is very aware of his status as a 'Blue Collar Criminal'. Neal describes him as such in one of the ep. I feel like Matt is very working class, he knows what it's like to have to fight to survive, I imagine he suffered an abusive childhood with his father in a criminal gang and he had to 'work' otherwise he didn't eat or was punished. He learned the family business in a brutal way. He is ridiculously practical because he was never allowed to have the same moral opportunities as Neal. Emotions are weakness is a lesson he learned from a very young age and it's made him hard.

I think he had a very traumtic event in his youth regarding a woman betraying him. I imagine he fell in love, considered going straight and his father killed her so he would learn that love is a weakness and because he wanted to keep him close. I believe in return Matt killed his father before disappearing and making a name for himself. I don't think he has ever had a person who actually cared about him. Even the girl he was associated with was on his father's payroll, she was set up as a learning experiance. He felt genuinely for her but she did not for him. His father still killed her anyway because he could see the depth of Matt's feelings and thought he needed to learn that lesson.

I think Avery is a naturally warm, empathetic person but she's very coveted in their world. I think a lot of criminals playing at their level struggle to form relationships outside of other criminals because it means hiding those aspects of yourself. You can't tell your partner you're stealing a Monet because if you're caught they will become an accomplice so you have to have a secret life and that fractures a relationship. Also their world is very male dominated so the ratio of attractive women is very limited so Avery is used to getting hit on ALOT by the men she works with which makes her guarded. She has walls but she isn't afraid to be herself, she knows who she is and she doesn't try to hide it and that's what Matt finds attractive. She's the most direct and upfront person he knows, she cuts through all the bullshit and she sees through his bullshit.

I imagine they met through a joint assignment possibly through Neal. Game recongised game, afterwards they worked a few ops on their own. I think Matt loved the way she made him laugh, I think it's been a long time since he's allowed himself to relax. I think he fell in love with her ability to be open when he's so closed off. I think the moment he realised he was in love was when he found himself telling her about his history because she asked him to tell her something real about himself.

I think for her it started off very much as sex. Matt's attractive, intelligent, dangerious but he's emotionally unavailable, which originally made her feel safe as there was no danger of attachments. They had similar tastes and became very attuned to each other as lovers. I think it was very on and off, usually when they were in each other's orbit by accident and then I think for Matt it started becoming less accidental. I think for her she realised she enjoyed spending time with him outside of the bedroom. I have this image that once when they were casing a place as couple they both sat down in front of a painting they had no interest in stealing and he told her how he felt when he looked at it. Not from a technical stand point but from an emotional one and it really resonated for her because he was describing real feelings in that moment, something she had never seen from him before and she realised there was incredible emotional depth under the surface. Afterwards I think she took him for gelato and it became more like a real date, her arm linked through his as they walked through the park. They started doing more couple like things after that, dinner, wine tastings, art showings, things that weren't related to jobs they were pulling, things they actually enjoyed doing together.

#matthew keller #matthew keller x reader

6 notes · View notes

alertarchitect · 3 months

Text

Full disclosure, this is a long one. It's also a vent post. I'm mainly writing this out to help get the thoughts and feelings regarding this kind of organized and out of my head, makes dealing with them just a little easier. Maybe it'll help you put to words your own thoughts & feelings on this kinda shit, too, and if it does, I'm glad my screaming into the void at least helped out someone other than myself! After all, if anything I say, write, or do ends up helping at least one other person, then maybe I'm doing something right :]

Sometimes having long-time special interests in an ongoing franchise FUCKING SUCKS. Perfect example - I am both a big Halo nerd, and really enjoy the overaching lore of Bungie's connected worlds (with how Marathon, Pathways into Darkness, Myth, Destiny, and even the ways Halo originally connected before it had to become its own thing thanks to Microsoft). Here are the ways that currently sucks:

The state of Halo Infinite, the most recent Halo game, both currently and at launch. At launch, you had a buggy mess, with multiplayer that barely functioned, lacking feature parity (even just on the multiplayer side of things, not counting the campaign) with Halo Reach, a game from 2010. Currently, 343i has admittedly fixed a lot of the launch issues - there's more customization than the game has ever had before (still not as good as Reach's customization imo, but at this point I've given up hope on any multiplayer AAA game having that level of customization for free ever again), the desync issues (in my experience) are no longer happening, and it has the most powerful Forge mode in any Halo game to date. The flip side of that, though? Egregiously horrendous monetization, an armor core and coating system that both hurt the customization more than help, and a drip-feed of content with little to no communication from 343 on anything past the most recent update. Not to mention the issues that come from a focus on "Live Service" bullshit.

The issues at 343 Industries itself, which come part and parcel with the massive issues related to Microsoft as a company. Massive megacorporation, horrible management, staff getting screwed over, crunch culture, and more - it just goes on and on.

Halo 5, despite its generally negative reception, is horrendously inaccessible to those of us that want to experience it as a piece of history and/or try out the multiplayer. A perfect example of how little companies care about game preservation, despite the decent track record 343i has had in that respect thanks to the Master Chief Collection, its PC release and addition of Halo Reach, and the efforts to find, occasionally recreate from almost nothing, and implement lost & cut content in the MCC titles.

Being a fan of Bungie's overarching stuff... really bad when you are at PEAK investment into their stuff, namely my Destiny 2 hyperfixation, and they not only announce that their new Marathon game is going to be a fucking EXTRACTION SHOOTER, and thus unlikely to have one of the most interesting things about Marathon in it (that being its lore) while also being very hard to get into thanks to people treating that kind of game as a massive sweat-fest, but also suddenly lay off a bunch of employees (when previously they had a good track record of treating employees decently...) due to Square Enix levels of profit overestimations of Lightfall, the BEST SELLING DESTINY EXPANSION EVER only getting 45% of the expected sales. Because why be realistic, right? Just fuck over employees, that certainly won't hurt us in the end!

The fact that, despite ALL OF THIS and my moral convictions against the shitty nature of this stuff, my dumbass brain still wants me to just spend spend spend on it anyway because of how much of a special interest Halo & the Bungie lore are to me - it almost hurts. I generally prefer fantasy stuff, but I can't stop myself from loving the lore and stories associated with this stuff. I have to fight myself every goddamn time I have money to not fall into the traps. It's easier with Destiny - I uninstalled it, replaced my PvE needs with Warframe and Risk of Rain 2, replaced my PvP needs with Halo Infinite, and just keep up with the story from a distance. But now that Halo Infinite is back in my life? I love the gameplay, hell I'd go as far as to say it has some of the strongest gameplay in the series (though some modes could use a bit more work, for example the Infection mode just isn't as fun as the Infection from Halo Reach), but the monetization just... AAAARGH it hurts me that I want to spend on it, both for customization and to have little goals to work towards in the (thankfully well-implemented due to them being available eternally) battle passes.

I just want to be able to love something that's been so central to me for so long - I played a cracked version of the CE PC demo for countless hours growing up, to the point that to this day I know the mission Silent Cartographer back to front from memory & could do it in my sleep, and associate Blood Gulch with countless memories of Halo's multiplayer from how often I'd play it with my sister, and to add onto all of that Halo Reach is one of my favorite games ever made, period - without caveats and moral hangups. I just want to love something without justifying it every time I think of it, both to myself and others.

I know this is a massively first-world issue, having the luxury to whine about my Favorite Things going through years and years of getting fucked by their own successes driving them into corporatism, but it still sucks. Obviously not as much as other issues both myself and others deal with, and DEFINITELY not as much as the horrible shit people are enduring in several parts of the world, but just enough for me to want/need to vent about how much corporations like to shit on the little rays of sunshine that we use to feel better about life.

#vent post #halo #halo infinite #marathon #pathways into darkness #myth the fallen lords #destiny 2 #corporate bullshit #fuck corpos #just let me have nice things in peace goddammit #why does everything have to be fucked with SO MUCH over time #I just want comfort games I don't have to think about the real-world bullshit of too much #but unfortunately my brain landed on options that #while not the WORST by any stretch of the imagination #I mean just LOOK at the state of CoD Battlefield and just...#EVERYTHING that was touched by the Shitty Wizard Franchise #which I only mention due to how many people I've known who had to find a completely new comfort media after JKR proved herself to be a TERF #it still sucks that it's nearly impossible to find something that isn't either problematic or actively getting enshittified #at least in my favorite genres #namely FPS games (both modern and retro) and Metroidvanias #and while the latter isn't too bad #the former just gets infested with so much assholery and corpo fuckery that #you either have to play an indie game made by one person who could turn out shit at any time and that is so niche there's no multiplayer #or just deal with the shittiness involved with getting too attached to a franchise owned and produced by a megacorporation #and unfortunately I got attached to one of the latter from a young age so #at least I can feel a little better now that I've kinda gotten the bulk of my thoughts about it off of my chest #which I honestly REALLY needed to do #so that's good at least

7 notes · View notes