#and when i got accused (by the people in charge) of seeing myself as above the rules or thinking i was better/smarter than them

[lord-squiggletits]

pharma really is such an interesting case. one thing i’ve always felt with pharma is that he absolutely doesn’t want consequences. and facing up to it requires a lot of looking at and showing people what he’s done and you know. the consequences. i mean hell he’d rather start a plague than say “hey i got coerced into doing a very bad thing by the djd”

I do understand what you mean about Pharma not wanting to face consequences, but on the other hand, I kind of understand why Pharma made a plague rather than admit to medical malpractice/murder? Because like, the thing that I don't see brought up often enough with regards to Pharma is that blackmail... is blackmail. Like, as someone who's unfortunately been on the receiving end of blackmail, the entire point of blackmailing someone is that you corner them into doing bad things by convincing them that they CAN'T turn to an authority figure to ask for help. Like, the person doing the blackmailing generally convinces the person who's getting blackmailed that if they try to reach out for help, the law/authorities/etc either won't care about their predicament or will punish them for the bad thing they did that they're getting blackmailed about.

I kind of feel like (and this isn't an attack on you, just a commentary about the nature of blackmail) when someone like Ratchet looks at Pharma and says "but you could've called for help or shut down the clinic or anything!", it kind of ignores the fact that...... when you're being blackmailed you're fucking terrified, and people who are terrified generally don't jump to the most rational, safe solutions possible? When you add in the fact that Pharma was blackmailed by Tarn of the DJD, notorious hater of Autobots and fanatic leader of a torture club, it's not hard to imagine that Pharma was both afraid and in pain (or threat of pain) while at Delphi and thus wouldn't be thinking straight about it.

I don't know, like. Yeah, on one hand Pharma made a plague and killed a bunch of people to try and cover up his crimes and maintain his career. But he didn't just do it for ego related reasons, he was also almost certainly facing threats of torture and death.

#squiggle answers #pharma apologism #i think i'm biased on this issue so anyone can come in here and add their thoughts or correct me #i guess it just bothers me because like. i've kind of been in that situation (not as serious as pharma's) where i didn't ask for help #and when i got in trouble for not asking for help afterwards and instead choosing to lie or go behind someone's back or whatever #it was generally bc i was more afraid of punishment by The People In Charge #than i was afraid of lying or breaking the rules or doing other bad things #and when i got accused (by the people in charge) of seeing myself as above the rules or thinking i was better/smarter than them #it always pissed me off because i was like. bro i didn't lie to you for fun and games i lied to you because i was afraid #that if i asked you for help you would just shun me or get pissed off at me and punish me #also re: the blackmail i was a victim of. the thing about that is it was over something ultimately petty (stupid internet drama) #and i was PROBABLY never in any real danger but like. the issue was that i FELT like i was in danger #fear is powerful. fear of being threatened at any time or having the things you care about taken away is especially powerful #i had nightmares p much once a week for months during the ordeal and still sometimes do now #like idk i really am biased on this matter but like. just bc pharma made the plague to cover up his crimes #doesn't mean that that's the ONLY reason is what i'm saying #when ppl lie and cover up things about that it's not just about ego but about dumb animal terror #and i mean. to get back to the pharma apologism brand. ratchet KNEW pharma was being blackmailed but he fucking ditched him anyways #this is the guy who was supposed to be his bestie of millions of years and he fucking told pharma he was dead to him #and that's the guy who pharma thought would UNDERSTAND. imagine what he thought other autobots would think of him #also i have a theory that tarn probably psychologically tortured pharma by telling him the autobots would just lock him up for his crimes #as a way to get pharma to not tell anyone and keep supplying him cogs. because you know. blackmail

[kob131]

I have had a bad few days so excuse if I’m not going to be polite.

https://dextixer.tumblr.com/post/708715973123932160/crimsonxe-love-how-for-all-the-talk-of-how-bad

Love how for all the talk of how bad the RWBY community is, every reactor I’ve watched in the recent gen that actually pay attention to the story and catch details as well as aren’t right-wing douchebros; mention how nice and welcoming the community is to them.

You will classify anyone who has a problem with the show as right wing, which is just about the only thing @dextixer got right. Even if they are openly left wing, like myself. Fuck, even if they openly hate most RWBY criticism but just have certain issues.

Almost like people respond well to actual fans vs. hatewatchting douchebros that ignore, bitch about, fail to grasp, and shit on the show that get rejected and/or called out on their b.s. (which the irony is that “calling out” can be seen as a form of critique).

I’d listen but I have serious doubts that you are capable of telling a hatewatcher and just a guy.

But not like the critics are any better. Case and point.

Its just so easy for RWBY fans to just dismiss criticism as just “right-wing”. When in reality, most RWBY fans are milquetoast liberals with barely any political knowledge.

Most of the prominent critics of RWBY are people from LGBT+ circles, people of colour and people who lean very heavily towards socialism/communism.

You know, I love that Dex inserted that ‘milquetoast liberals’ bit even though that has no real connection to the statement. Like, you can say all of the above and still consider yourself not a progressive.  This only really works if you operate under the idea that ‘liberal’ is right wing and this is an accusation of hypocrisy. Which is stupid to think ‘liberal = right wing’ but then you see the whole ‘most prominent RWBY critics (implying himself too) are socialists and communists’ and it all clicks.

Anyhow, I would like to point out that quite a few prominent RWBY fans are also LGBT and/or minorities so Dex’s categorization doesn’t work here. Of course he’ll ignore this because he needs to think he’s the underdog, even though he’s a fucking mod of the critic’s subreddit. 

But you just dismiss all of them because its inconvenient to you.Which very nicely mirrors RoosterTeeth itself. It pretends to be politically left. But will throw any minority under the bus once it becomes convenient.

Oh no, Dex. RT is left wing. Nothing they’ve done contradicts this because the left wing isn’t some bastion of virtue. Being left wing too much can and will cause issues, like being so morally assured that you will commit heinous acts while believing them to be just. Or just plain believing that you are above issues. I have seen the critics do this myself since the days of Volume 4.

BTW, I’m one of those ‘milquetoast liberals’ and I turned against RT when it became clear that the accusations of poor working conditions was not in fact yet another lie that the critics jumped on. What’s your excuse here?

What you are talking about is an echo-chamber. You respond well only to the people that agree with you and see the show as you do. That is your failing, not anyone elses.

Says the man who preaches openness and diverse discussion while being in charge of an echo chamber.

[bridgeportbritt]

The Toxicity of Royal Simblr

alright guys. I was kind of hoping I wouldn’t have to make a post about this or that it would just go away. But, I’m seeing now that this is not the case. As the owner of the Royal Discord Community, I along with others in the community feel like this behind the scenes toxic behavior needs to be addressed because it’s been going on for a while now and a lot of people have been affected.

Please note that the intention is to bring attention to some of the toxic behaviors shown here so those involved will not continue further. We’ve blocked names of some people in the following screenshots to remove their identity as this is not about he said/she said stuff. It’s about bringing light to something that’s been affecting all of us.

This is a long post so be prepared to do some reading if you continue on. The following screenshots were provided to me because I took over the Royal Discord once the previous admins no longer wanted it. The rest is under the cut.

*Before you read on, I’m happy to let you know that a resolution has come since this initial post. Please read this post. Thank you!*

A lot of these messages are disheartening because myself, the other admins/mods, and the community as a whole has worked hard to bring the community back from a place where people honestly felt too scared to join because messages like these were playing in the background and this sentiment seeps into every part of Royal Simblr unfortunately. Due to how things were run previously on top of this toxic underbelly it’s made people hesistant to join in.

There is one thing I’d like to address first as it was directed at myself and I want to own up to anything I have done in this. When I first joined Royal Simblr, I participated in a Royal Sim Pageant. In one of the rounds, derogatory and racist remarks against Asians were made without the participants knowing. I truly regret to have been apart of it. When it was brought to my attention, I worked to correct the damage done with the owners of the pageant. I’m not perfect and don’t claim to be, but I’m always working to be better especially when it comes to correctly representing other cultures as it’s something I take very seriously.

To preface these messages, there are two things to know. There are two seperate servers. Server A) The server I’ve been admin of for a little over a month after the last admin transferred it to me. Server B) A smaller server that was created before Server A and made up a lot of the folks who also created and ran the Server A initially. The other thing is most of these people are not in Server A and haven’t been in over a month.

The conversation you see here started with a member of the community being accused of copying storylines. This person being accused is in Server A and this conversation took place in Server B on July 15, 2021.

The person speaking is saying they left Server A because a person is accused of copying storylines. For some reason, the whole community is then somehow involved in this as the conversation shifts. The person accused of copying happened to be a moderator in Server A which is mentioned. 

From what I’ve seen from this server, this is fairly common behaviour and multiple people have been bullied, accused of copying, etc. many stemming from this server.

In this shot, Server A is put into question. Many stating they left because they don’t want to pretend to be positive or show interest in other stories as if they are being forced to. As you can see one person states that this is not the case of the server since I’ve been admin and don’t encourage people to show fake positivity.

However, this person is actually in Server A which I’m guessing is why they decided to sort of defend it. But, then they agree that those running Server A are questionable (ie myself and the other admins/mods).

More of the same, but speaking about the previous ownership of the server when referring to being asked to step down. Also more just toxic talk about the entire Royal simblr community for no reason. This comes from those who have “built the community” and “do so much for it.” But behind closed doors this is what is done.

In this shot, those in Server A are accused of not “making an effort to be anyone’s friend” with those who rarely interact, being nice to each other for clout, and just overall being fake. Although, keep in mind, one of these people (”I stay for the drama”) is in Server A and never expressed any of this to me or other admins. Yet talking trash about us in Server B. Note: the pageant is also brought up here which I’ve addressed above and I believe I was the only admin or moderator apart of the pageant. 

Here they make fun of people speaking about their stories and other people encouraging them. Also, just want to point out if anyone ever feels unwelcomed in the server, please reach out to me of the other admins. It’s our goal to make everyone welcome, but we can’t do that if we don’t know. Also, being a jerk to people in another server for no reason isn't really a good way to make friends.

Some general nonsense about the server and those in the server. Again most of these people haven’t been in the server since I took over so sentiments about the status of the server are all from a month ago when those in Server B were in charge of Server A. The “felt like a corporation” and “crickets” is all things we’ve been working to reverse since we’ve taken it over.

In these shots, it’s talked about how so many people are stuck in their Royal stories and don’t plan methodically and decorate and how they take bad screenshots. Basically making fun of everyone else because they aren’t doing things exactly as they are or think they should be done. The community they “built” mind you. Then, they talk about some plan to rejoin Server A and bait people, but not wanting to get caught up so deciding against it.

This gives you a gist of what is happening in the Royal Simblr community. Some of the most beloved and talented among us are spending their time poking fun at everyone else, bullying, and being toxic in a server that is “not exclusive.” Many of my friends have been apart of this and even got swept into the toxicity which shows you the nature of this group. It’s very exclusive and meant to bully and mock others even going as far as making people want leave the community alrogether.

This is not me trying to bash anyone or continue bullying or single out these people specifically as bad people. There are a lot more screenshots that I did not share of just really mean stuff, but we’ve all done messed up stuff. I won't say who said what or even who had this particular conversation because at this point it doesn't matter, but I will address those who are in the server and actively participate in toxic conversations including @royaldevilliers @thesimsroyalfam @wa-royal-tea @royalfamilyofgrimalldi and @markinghamroyals​

We all have a vision for the community and we’ve been working towards that and this is NOT it. It’s not about who’s best or being being better than everyone else. It’s supposed to be about community, sharing stories, and overall just having a good time with a fun HOBBY. Others are just taking it too far and too seriously. Things like this ruin it for EVERYONE. 

When I took over Server A, no one interacted, people were nervous to join, and it was a place where people didn’t feel welcomed. Now, we just had a random 6 hour server stream yesterday, people are helping people daily and sharing their stories again. This is what we want for the community. But with behavior like this, we will NEVER get there.

To those who are doing this, please look at these nasty messages and see how this does so much harm. The toxic energy you bring does not stop just because it’s in your little bubble. 

This is who you want to be known as?

This is how you want to “build a community?” 

None of us are perfect and we don’t expect you to be either, but this is just mean especially to folks who haven’t done anything to you and even look up to you.

To those who’ve been affected by this, I’m really sorry. We have to do better if we want this community to continue and be a good place for us all.

[arvinsescape]

The Princess and The Guard.

A/N: Sorry for the late update, I had my first vaccination and it made me really sleepy so i couldn’t bring myself to write! There is a time skip in this to move their relationship along but I hope you enjoy! The next chapter will have much more angst as things are starting to happen! I would love to hear your feedback and i will accept construstive criticism. 

This series is not historically accurate and is not intended to be so please bare that in mind when you are reading, I am no real expert on how royalty works (even if I am from England).

This series will contain misogynistic language and views, violence, death and nsfw content. I will always put the relevant warnings into each chapter!

Teaser, Chapter one, Chapter two, Chapter three, Chapter four

Warnings: Language, Smut (Minors do not engage), thigh riding, talking of first orgasms. I think that’s it for this chapter!

W/C: 4K.

Chapter Three:

You sat around the dinner table as you were forced to converse with the Duke. This was the first time you’d been forced to spend time with Oliver for longer than a few moments, you quickly grew bored of the conversation and his constant moaning about the poorer people, along with his bragging about his achievements. Your mind couldn’t help but go back to the last few months with Tom and how things had changed between the two of you, if your parents knew they’d probably disown you.

Harrison’s wedding was a beautiful affair, everyone was enjoying seeing the happy couple, it was a rare occasion where the staff where able to celebrate in their own quarters and given the night off. Your parents watched in pride and delight as Harrison and Ellie danced around the ballroom, completely captivated by one an another. It was almost like no one else was in the room, your eyes consistently found Tom’s. He was one of the only members of staff able to celebrate with the rest of you as he was Harrison’s personal guard.

It was getting late as Harrison and Ellie retired to bed, most of the nobles had left by now, your parents having gone to bed a while ago. As you said your goodnight’s to the remaining people, you headed into the corridors and towards your bedroom, you were quite tipsy by this point, Harrison having encouraged you to ‘live a little.’ Your thoughts had drifted to Tom and how he walked you back to your room a lot these days, as if he was thinking the same, you heard his voice, a smile making its way onto your lips.

“Princess. Allow me to walk you to your room.”

“I would love that Tom.” You smiled as you looked back at him, watching as he fell into step next to you.

“Tonight was a beautiful night. You looked beautiful.”

“Thank you Tom.”

You walked in a comfortable silence until you reached your bedroom door, as it always seemed to be the case when you and Tom did this, no other staff where in the corridors and you couldn’t be more thankful for that fact.

“I’m glad Harrison found his happiness, I truly hope you do to.” He smiled as he spoke to you and you bit your lip as you looked at him.

“I hope you do too Tom.” The alcohol in your system was making you slightly more brave. “Nightcap?” You asked as you pointed to your bedroom, gesturing for him to come in.

“Princess-“ Tom went to say, apprehension clear in his tone.

“No one will know, I’m in charge of getting myself ready for bed tonight.” You almost pleaded with him, you wanted to spend more time with him, he was becoming addictive. He nodded slightly as you both made your way into your bedroom, you made sure to shut your bedroom door, knowing that if anyone was to disturb you now they’d have to knock.

You poured two glasses of wine, handing one to Tom as you both took seats at your small table, one your mother insisted you needed in a bedroom. He looked slightly uncomfortable, this would be the first time he’d ever been into your bedroom.

“Tom, relax.” You laughed. “No one is going to know.”

“Sorry, I just, I never expected to be here.” He said and you smiled.

“Most men would jump at the chance to be here.” You teased and now it was his turn to smile.

“I enjoy spending time with you princess, but this is improper, as much as I like being here and with you, it’s improper.” The nickname was making your heart beat faster, he really was the only person who could call you that and it didn’t make you want to roll your eyes.

“Can I ask you something?” You asked and he nodded, you felt bolder than usual, moving closer to him. “Do you want to kiss me Tom?” You asked and Tom visibly gulped.

“I think you know the answer to that question.” He spoke, his tongue darting out to wet his bottom lip as you looked at each other.

“That’s not a yes or a no.” You whispered, faces incredibly close. You heart was hammering in your chest, although this would not be your first kiss, it would be the first kiss that meant anything to you. The tension between the two of you was thick, Tom’s eyes had darkened slightly as his eyes flicked from yours to your lips.

“Yes.” He answered confidently and you smiled.

“Then please, Tom, kiss me.” You whispered back and that was all it took before you felt his lips on yours. It felt too good to be true. His lips were softer than you’d imagined. You felt as his hand placed itself on your cheek, it was soft, caring, almost as if he was frightened of hurting you. The kiss was innocent and sweet until your thoughts drifted elsewhere and you found yourself pushing your lips harder against his, deepening the kiss.

Tom didn’t hesitate to kiss you back, just as firm, his hand slipping into your hair as he carefully removed your grip, your hair falling around you. You couldn’t help yourself as you moved to straddle his thigh and your mind became clouded with lustful thoughts. You’d never done anything above a kiss with another man but you were not naive, you’d been educated on the sexual side to relationships.

His hand had a firm grip on your waist as your hands slid into his hair. You pulled back slightly for some air and Tom took the opportunity to plant kisses down your neck, you moved your head to the side, sighing in pleasure, it felt good, a kind of pleasure you’d never experienced before. You felt a need grow between your legs, a need that felt as though it needed to be shifted, this was new and exciting to you. You ground your hips against Tom’s thigh, the pleasure felt like nothing you’d ever felt before, you moaned.

Tom hummed against your neck, before pulling away. “Y/n.” He said and you reconnected your lips, cutting him off. You moved your hand down his chest, hand falling into his crotch as you felt his hardened length and he moaned. “Y/N/N.” He said again before pulling back completely, you looked at him with furrowed brows, halting your movements.

“Have you ever done anything like this?” He asked seriously and you shook your head. “I’m sorry, I need to go, I don’t want to take advantage of you.” He said as he moved you off him.

“But Tom, I started it. Do you not want to?” You asked, embarrassment settling in your chest.

“It’s not that I don’t want to. Fuck, I want nothing more than to have you fall apart on me but you’ve been drinking.” He said as he cupped your cheek in his hand, he smoothed his thumb across your cheek before dipping his head down and capturing your lips in his, the kiss sweet and soft. “Goodnight Princess.”

You’d had countless dreams about that night, ones had you going further. You’d wanted to do it again, the pleasure you’d felt was like nothing you had before and it intrigued you. You’d asked Annie about it, her cheeks growing red as she answered your burning question of what happens after.

“It’s what happens before you orgasm, your highness.” She said, cheeks redder than a tomato.

“Does it feel good?” You asked her and she nodded.

“Forgive me, Princess, but why do you ask?” This time it was your turn to feel embarrassed.

“It doesn’t matter, I was just curious is all. Some of the women were talking about it.” You lied, you were well aware of what an orgasm was and how sex worked but you were never told how truly pleasurable it felt and how it ignited excitement and passion in you.

“I’ve found you have to do it with the right person for it to feel the best it can.” She added as she brushed through your hair.

“You’ve done it more than once?” You asked and she nodded.

“I had feelings for a guy I used to meet in the bar before well.” She cut herself off, you knew she was talking about Tuwaine, she’d never admit it but you weren’t blind. “I found it always felt better with him.” She added.

“Did you ever enter a relationship with him?” You asked.

“No, he wasn’t the relationship sort of man.” She answered.

You’d found yourself wanting to do it again, it had you seeking out the brown haired guard, trying to find him alone. Tom made you feel things no one ever had before and it wasn’t just aroused, he made you laugh and smile, made you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world to him just by looking at you. You’d found yourself in the library with him two weeks later.

Tom’s lips were on yours, you’re not sure how you got into this position, pressed up against a bookshelf as Tom kissed you like his life depended on it. You’d bumped into each other on another one of your late night ventures, you practically jumped at one an another, the tension between you both was thick.

“You look amazing.” Tom said and you almost accused him of being a liar, the silk of your nightgown being no where near as flattering as some of the gowns you wore but you were too wrapped up in his lips trailing down your neck.

“Tom.” You breathed and he hummed. “I want to-“ you cut yourself off suddenly feeling embarrassed, he pulled back to look at you, hand cupping your neck.

“What? What do you want?” He asked and the look he gave you made you feel safe, like he wouldn’t judge you for anything you were going to say, you suddenly felt a surge of confidence under his stare, he really did make you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.

“The other night when we- It felt good.” You said and he smiled. “I want to do it again.” You added. “Please Tom.” You almost begged and he nodded.

“Not here.” He spoke and you nodded, suddenly remembering where you were, anyone could catch the two of you. He took your hand in his and laced them together, carefully, and quietly manoeuvring you both through the halls and towards your bedroom. Once you were both sure no one was watching you both you entered your bedroom.

“Are you sure you want to do this? That you want it to be me?” He asked and there was a vulnerability to his question that you didn’t like, sure you weren’t supposed to be doing this but it didn’t feel wrong, it felt so right in a way you couldn’t explain.

“Tom, I’m sure.” You reassured him as you cupped his cheek and kissed his lips.

“You’re so perfect.” He said as he smoothed out your hair. “If you’re sure?” He asked and you grasped his hand, moving him to sit on the chair he had two weeks ago, a sense of déjà vu hitting you. You moved to straddle his thigh again, his hands instantly finding your waist as he softly gripped them. A sudden feeling of vulnerability settled in your chest, you knew he’d done this before, what if you weren’t as good?

“Have you done this before?” You asked and he furrowed his brows as he moved a hand to smooth out your hair.

“Yes, I’ve had sex before, but never with a woman like you.” He said and the sincerity in his eyes had you feeling more secure instantly. “Don’t think about them Princess, I’m not. Now let me make you feel good.” He grinned and you reconnected your lips, the kiss growing deeper quickly.

He licked your bottom lip and asked for entrance which you happily granted, your tongues entwining together as Tom took control of the kiss, his hand slipping to cup your neck as yours found his hair. You felt your need for him grow as you felt yourself dampen at your core. You ground your hips against his thigh and sighed in pleasure.

“Feel good?” Tom asked as he placed a string of kisses down your neck and you hummed in response. His hand moved under your silk nightdress as you continued to grind into his thigh, his fingers leaving a hot trail in their wake. He moved to your underwear and guided you to move it to the side, your core making contact with his clothed thigh, you moaned quietly, this felt so much better.

Tom moved his hands to your waist as he started to guide your movements and you gasped at the pleasure, this felt better than anything you’d ever done before. Your forehead rested against his as he watched your movements, seemingly entranced by you. You hand fisted his hair as you moved against his thigh, small moans escaping your lips. Tom’s eyes connected with yours and they’d noticeably darkened.

“You look so hot like this.” He spoke and the words went straight down south, making you wetter than before, you were sure the evidence would be on his thigh, but you couldn’t find it in you to care. You felt a knot forming in your stomach as Tom guided your movements, taking full control as he moved you towards your high. You were sure this couldn’t feel any better and Tom proved you wrong as he tensed his thigh and you moaned louder than before, Tom’s hand shooting up to cover your mouth.

“Fuck Princess, you sound so hot but we can’t risk anyone hearing, you need to be quiet.” He spoke and the tone was something new, you’d never experienced this stern tone from Tom and it only served to turn you on more. “I can feel how wet you are through this material, so wet for me. Gonna make you come all over my thigh.” He spoke again and you moaned against his hand.

The knot in your stomach was foreign but it felt good, it had you wanting to move yourself against him faster.

“Tom, I’m. I don’t.” You stuttered over your words, they were muffled by his hand. “I need more.” You settled on, you were unfamiliar with what you needed to do but you were becoming consumed by the pleasure you were feeling, everything felt good.

“You close baby?” He asked and you just looked at him innocently, unsure of exactly what that meant and he groaned as he took in your expression. “Fuck, you are.” He said as he tensed and relaxed his thigh in a rhythm that had you almost seeing stars. The coil in your stomach felt ready to snap, you were convinced that it couldn’t wind any tighter. Tom must have sensed this as he pulled back to cup your face with one hand, looking you straight in the eyes as he spoke.

“I’ve got you Princess, you’re safe. It’s okay, come for me. You’re safe with me.” He spoke again and you threw your head back as you moaned louder, his hand covering your mouth again. The coil snapping as pleasure consumed everything. Tom continued to move you against him and you became more aware of how loudly your heart was beating as your vision blurred slightly, it felt amazing.

Slowly your vision returned to normal as did your senses, you looked and saw Tom already looking at you, you smiled lazily at him, a sudden sense of tiredness taking over. His hand cupping your cheek as his thumb smoothed over it. You were on cloud nine and you were so sure nothing could ruin this moment for you.

“Thank you.” You spoke and Tom smiled.

“Anything for you Princess.”

You’d done it a few more times over the past few months, you even took it a step further and brought each other to orgasm as you ground your crotches together. Watching Tom fall apart became something you found intoxicating, everything about him looked hot when he did it. You hadn’t gone any further than you learned was called dry humping but you felt like you were ready for more, ready for him to touch you with no clothing there.

“Y/N?” Your mother broke you from your trance. You looked at the rest of the table and found everyone looking at you expectantly.

“I apologise, I was distracted for a moment.” You said and your mother shook her head in annoyance as Harrison bit back a smile, you remember the day he found out.

“Y/N, I know.” Harrison spoke vaguely as he entered your room, you furrowed your brows as you looked at him.

“What?”

“About Tom.” He said again.

“I-“ You stopped yourself unsure of his reaction. “How did you know?”

“Little sister, I have been aware of his infatuation with you for years, he is my closest friend, I’ve noticed how much happier he is. It didn’t take much for me to figure out something was going on. Then I caught the two of you kissing in the library last week.” He said, smile on his face.

“Wait. You’re not mad?” You asked.

“Mad? No. Does he make you happy?”

“Yes.”

“Then honestly, that is all I care about. Be careful though, mother and father must never find out.”

 Harrison was incredibly supportive, he was much like you, he didn’t believe that you couldn’t have happiness in order to perform your duties. Having Harrison know made it much easier on you and Tom, Harrison helped sneak Tom into your room so he could hold you until you fell asleep, he also made sure Tom was gone from your room before anyone else arrived.

  “I asked if you wanted to go for walk down by the river next week.” Oliver smiled, there was something off about him, you just couldn’t put your finger on it. His smile was sweet but almost sickly sweet, like he was forcing it but not in the way as though he was uncomfortable, it was strange and you couldn’t put your finger on it.

“Are you asking me on a date?” You said, almost bored.

“Yes, I suppose I am.” There was that smile again, almost as though it had an ulterior motive behind it.

“I will think about it.” You said.

“She will go.” Your mother interrupted.

“What?” You protested. “I just said I will think about it.” You snapped.

“You are being rude.” She snapped back.

“Forgive me but I do not see how that was rude. I said I would consider a date with him, I did not insult the man.” You snarled, Harrison laughed and concealed it with a cough.

“That is enough.” Your mother suddenly stood from her seat. “I apologise for my daughters incredibly bad manners Oliver. I will be in touch later in the week but right now I believe we need a family meeting. Y/N, Harrison, study now.” She snapped angrily as she made her way out of the room, you, Harrison, and your father in tow.

You all made your way into the study, your mother angrily slamming the door behind you all.

“You have read too many story books. Life for a Princess does not play out as those children’s stories do. You do not marry for love, you marry because it is expected of you and you marry to carry on the family name and lineage. I have heard enough of your excuses and we shall be choosing your suitor promptly.” Your mother spat at you as tears slipped from your eyes. You were thankful your parents didn’t know about Tom and what you’d been up to.

“But mother-“

“That is enough! I have stood by and watched you make a mockery of this Royal family for long enough, you will be like your brother, you will behave and you will get married by the end of the year.” She interrupted as she made her way out of the room.

“Father, please.” You pleaded with your father, he looked guilty for a second before he composed himself.

“My daughter, I have always wanted what is best for you. I have always wanted you to be happy but your mother is right, you cannot continue this path of rejecting every man who asks. It is decided, we shall be choosing who you marry.” He said as he followed your mother out of the room, leaving you and Harrison stood there.

“Harrison, what do I do?” You cried as your brother took you into his arms and tried to comfort you. “I love him.” You concluded and Harrison nodded.

“We’ll figure this out, I promise. If I was King, I’d allow it.” He clenched his jaw. “You deserve to be happy but we need to be smart about this. If you and Tom have any shot at a future, we have to be smart about this.”

You found yourself in your room that evening crying uncontrollably. You heard a soft knock at your door as you tried to compose yourself. You got up from your bed as you answered the door to be met with Harrison.

“I thought you could use a pick me up, don’t worry no one knows we’re here.” You furrowed your brows in confusion before Harrison practically shoved Tom into your room, shutting the door quickly. You looked at Tom for a second before you felt the tears again, you couldn’t control yourself as you practically fell into his arms and cried into his chest, his arm wrapping around your waist as his other ran through your hair.

“Hey, hey, hey. What’s happened?” He asked as he held you.

“My mother, she’s insisting that I marry, she’s going to chose a suitor and I don’t want her to. Tom, I want you.” You cried and he held you tighter.

“Baby, you knew as well as I did that this couldn’t last forever. You were always someone I could never truly have, not forever.” He said into your hair and you only cried harder.

“It’s just not fair.”

“I know it’s not fair but it’s the reality, I’m sorry Princess.”

“But Tom, I love you.” You said as you pulled back and sniffled, wiping your nose. It was the first time you’d said it out loud but it was the truth, you truly did love him. He smiled sadly at you before picking you up and moving onto the bed with you, cuddling you into his chest, you felt safe, almost happy to be back in his arms.

“I love you too Princess. I always have.” He said and like you, this was the first time he’d said the words. “It sounds harsh on those women but they could never fill the void you created. I don’t think I’ve known a moment in my life where you haven’t consumed my thoughts.” He spoke and your heart warmed, he felt the same.

“I don’t care what happens Tom, I really don’t. I want you and I’m going to try and find a way to keep you.” You said as your tears subsided and he pulled you closer.

“Even if we’re not together Princess, you’ll always have a part of me. You’ll never truly lose me.” He whispered as you felt a wave of tiredness wash over you, letting yourself fall fully into the comfort of his arms.

“I’ll find a way Tom.” You whispered.

“Shh.” He whispered back, hand running through your hair as you fought to stay awake. “Get some sleep Princess. I always knew I couldn’t have you forever but I sure as hell will cherish what we have together forever.” He whispered into your hair as you succumbed to sleep.

**

Taglist: @allthisfortommy , @bi-lmg , @bigassnocash , @thoughtfulfireangelpersona , @aidinniram , @minejungwoo , @hommyy-tommy , @nellabellaa 

If you would like to be added to the taglist, please let me know!! 💕

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland au #tom holland x royal reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland smut

[aries-rising-on-an-aquarius-tide]

Evocations: XII

Alexandra couldn't decide what was worse - that she was jealous over a perfect stranger openly flirting with Olivia, or the fact that she knew it was irrational. It wasn't like her, to be either jealous or irrational; her reputation was for being calm to the point of coldness under pressure.

But nothing, when it came to Olivia, was cold.

Alex ran a finger through the condensation on her drink's glass, glancing up for what seemed like the hundredth time at the woman having a smiling conversation with Liv. The strange blonde giggled and found an excuse to touch Liv's forearm, causing Alex to deathgrip her glass as her eyes narrowed.

It didn't help that Olivia's gaydar was piss-poor. She was an incredible detective, smart and intuitive when it came to victims or chasing sex offenders. Flirting, though, sent the brunette into a foreign land where she seemed to lack both language and direction. Unless she stripped her clothes off and made an obvious move, Alex assumed Liv wouldn't even realize that this aggressive blonde was interested.

Is it because it's a woman? Alex wondered, scrutinizing her jealousy. She had never been jealous in the past, with other girlfriends. Perhaps, without realizing it, she had been unconcerned about losing them. Olivia had never given her reason to worry about infidelity, never - and they had been together over a year and a half.

Tipping her drink to her mouth, Alex looked over at the two women again, finding the nameless blonde now gesturing in the direction of the bar - likely offering to buy Liv a drink. Alex sucked an ice cube from her glass and crunched it between her teeth, her jealousy simmering in her belly.

She wasn't oblivious to the amount of attention that Olivia constantly drew. Alex was well aware that her partner was stunning, and usually, seeing others stumble over themselves like stuttering, blushing fools just made Alex more proud that she was hers. This time, this night . . . everything seemed off-kilter.

Sighing, she drained the glass, chewed more ice, and looked over again. But they were gone.

Not just the stranger - Liv, too. Both gone.

Alexandra startled to her feet off her bar stool as her chest was gripped with blazing anxiety and anger. She forced herself to take a breath and swept her gaze all around the room, sure that she was just panicking over nothing. But her eyes weren't deceiving her - Olivia was nowhere in the room.

Grabbing her clutch purse, Alex left her glass of melting ice and started in the direction of the restroom, as it was the most logical assumption. Beneath the surface of her skin, she could feel her irritation buzzing like a live wire.

While there were people in the restroom, Liv nor the blonde was among them. Alex took the time to splash cold water on her wrists and back of her neck in an attempt to think clearly. In spite of this attempt, she felt her anxiety tip over into real upset, and her stomach cramped.

She charged back through the bar - as best a tall woman in heels can charge - and plowed through the double glass doors into the cool evening. Her gaze scanned up and down the sidewalk among the people milling about, first left and then right. The second look to the right, Alexandra finally spotted them, down the sidewalk away from the others.

Liv was laughing as the other woman tossed a cigarette to the pavement and stamped it out. Alex swallowed dryly as the two women hugged, and Olivia held open the door to the taxi at the curb, ushering the blonde inside. For just a breath, Alex's heart stilled completely, imagining her lover getting into the cab with the woman and driving away, taking her entire life with her.

Then she blinked, her heart started again, and the cab was pulling away as Liv was coming back down the sidewalk in Alexandra's direction. When she got past some of the people, Olivia noticed Alex where she stood, arms crossed over her chest, still strangling her clutch bag.

"Hey! What're you doing out here in the cold?" she asked Alex with a curious grin.

"Who was that?" Alex's voice was flat, and controlled. It was her about-to-cross-examine voice.

"We went to college together," Liv answered, glancing back in the direction of the long-gone black and yellow. "Just an old acquaintance."

Alex rolled her eyes, exhaling heavily. Liv raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"An acquaintance. She was flirting, Olivia."

A laugh bubbled out of Liv before she could catch it. "What?! Al, don't be ridiculous," she shook her head.

"That's what you always say," Alex returned, "but just because you're oblivious doesn't mean no one is flirting!'

"It doesn't mean everyone is flirting, either!"

Alex threw her hands out in front of her and huffed, then opened her clutch and rooted for keys. They had been renting an SUV for a few weeks, toying with the idea of jointly buying a vehicle, and it was parked in a lot behind the drink club.

"I'm going home. You can come, or not," she tossed off, and turned in the direction of the parking lot.

"Alex, you - " Liv started, but the ADA was already moving, and she had to lurch forward to hurry after her, "You can't be serious!"

"I'm perfectly serious."

"We hardly spoke!"

"Imagine, the concept of body language," Alex deadpanned, "playing a part in flirting. A novelty."

"'Lex. You were drinking and I wasn't; give me the keys," Olivia tried, changing tactics.

"Are you accusing me of being drunk?"

"Not at all, I would just prefer to drive."

They had made it to the vehicle, and Alex stopped within a foot of the driver's side door. "Would you really? Like to drive?" she asked.

"Yes," Liv nodded, and moved to take the keys, which Alexandra pulled away and up at the last moment, dangling them in her hand above her head.

"Then you'll have to arrest me. Detective," she taunted.

Running out of patience, Liv sighed and moved into Alex's space, their bodies aligning as she pressed her into the cold metal of the SUV, reaching for the keys.

"Is that what you want? Me to handcuff you?" the brunette chuckled, making sure to brush against the sensitive inside of Alex's wrist. But the look in the blonde's eyes was still heavy with nerves, making Liv still.

"Alex. Why were you so worried? Have I ever given you reason - "

"Of course not," she said immediately. "But . . . "

"But what?"

"Everybody always wants you," Alex said quietly, blushing faintly, feeling ridiculous now that her fear was fading.

"Oh. Mm," Liv acknowledged. "Well, you know who I want?" she murmured. The blonde met her gaze, but didn't speak. She pressed Alex even harder against the door, leaning toward her mouth. "I want you."

Alexandra suppressed her grin and tipped her head up, forcing Olivia's kiss to land on her neck instead of her mouth. "Only me?"

"Only you," Liv confirmed.

"I want you, too," Alex sighed, melting into the press of warm kisses down her neck. She slipped her arms around Liv, pulling her mouth up to kiss her. "To myself," she added, "just mine ."

"Yours," Liv nodded.

Alex cupped a breast through the brunette's sensible button-up. "Mine?"

"Yours."

The hand curved around and down, gripping her ass through her pants. "Mine?"

Olivia nodded again. Alex's hand slid gently between Liv's thighs, sending a shock of desire through her. "And this?"

"Of course."

Finally, Alex brought her hand back up, pressing it firmly against Olivia's chest over her heart.

"Yours," Liv said, without hesitation.

Alex felt like she could breathe again as she nudged the keys into Olivia's palm. "Drive me home," she murmured, "so I can show you what's yours."

#law and order svu #svu #olivia benson #alex cabot #alexandra cabot #cabenson #hearteyes4mariska #my writing #evocations #first jealousy #tender #fluff #jealousy #sorry this took forever #i have been down and out #my fanfic

[bagog]

What On Earth Has Happened

Hey, no story here, no experiments. Just a play by play of an awful year in my life. Please don't reblog. Trying to just get it down in one place for people who care about me. Long, sob-story beneath the cut.

Air - 'Things are looking up!' I had started to drift a bit from tumblr. The porno purge came and a lot of my friends trickled off the platform after that. I went back to school, attempting to score myself a Masters degree in something that would pay enough to get me out of Student Debt. I was doing great, picking things up fast. I got a new job at a company doing pretty menial work, but the people I worked with were great conversationalists. The work didn't involve dealing with customers at all, paid well, and was small and accomplishable tasks. Essentially I was being prepped to take a better position at the place once I had my Masters. Covid happened, then. Earth - 'The Whole World Sucks Right Now' My company was "essential," so I continued going to work, now on weird schedules. The company I worked for was profiting off Covid, all the while making fun of it as an overblown conspiracy, even as their own epidemiologist urged them to take better precautions. Work became hard to swallow. Water - 'When your lowest place could be lower' The apartment I shared with my boyfriend flooded. The lowest place in any sewage system is typically the bathtub, such that if it backs up, it does so into that tub. Our lowest point is the toilet. So the apartment flooded. Three times. Roots growing through the sewage outflow meant that, often, you needed to wait a solid hour between toilet flushes, or else the toilet would back up with such gusto the sewage would slosh down the hallway and into the living room. We mopped many times. The problem was finally fixed 8 months later, necessitating our having to camp because our house had no water. Fire - 'To destroy all you've done' One afternoon, I smelled burning. Going to our bedroom, I found our shelf a column of flame. I could barely breathe for all the smoke, but I managed to grab a blanket and beat the fire out. On the other side of the room, the pages of the books upon another shelf had begun to crisp from the heat, the blinds on all the windows were warped. The whole apartment had been about to go up. I'm kinda scared of fire now. Heart - 'When moving is too much to ask' Personal health sorta hit a new low. Migraines kept me out of work for two full weeks. I have seasonal foot pain, I always assumed from hiking for a living in my 20s. Turns out it was gout, all the while. Gout is exceptionally painful: it's like a messy pile of razor blades in the ball of your foot every time you step down. At work, I could barely stand. Walking from my car to the door became something I needed to psyche myself up for. Not a lot can stop a gout flare-up once it's in full swing, so I just had to wait it out. For a month. Two. Some of the worst sustained pain I've been in. Little did I know that, in January, come the kidney stones. Kidney stones feel awful. Feel like total shit. Gout and kidney stones are comorbid--brought about as a result of the meds I take to help me focus. So any day I don't drink enough water is a day when my kidneys or my foot just starts aching. But going back to September of 2020... Homophobia - 'goddammit' Finally things are looking better. I'm limping quickly again. Then I am called into the HR office. I am told that two sexual harassment charges have been brought against me. I'm told that one individual has alleged that I, while in the restroom, used a reflective toilet brush to attempt to peep him under a stall wall. I did not do this. I do not understand--reflective toilet brush?? wtf. The second allegation: I just straight up looked over a stall at a guy. I didn't do this either. I'm asked to defend myself, I ask who or date or time of day. I am given nothing. I remark that I don't think I'm tall enough to see over the stall, and I do not understand about the toilet brush. Of the ten minutes of the meeting, I spend 8 of them trying to get my head around how a claim about a reflective toilet brush has me here. "Would you like us to go now to see if you're tall enough to see over the stall? If that would help your defense?" says the HR head. "Yes, I

would," says I. We did not go. I am told that the accusers have no reason to be collaborating, or to even know each other made a claim. This is bullshit, because it was a company of 80 people, and only a quarter of those employees used the restroom where my alleged harassment was to have taken place. Before I am dismissed from work for the day to go home and wait to find out if I'll be fired or not, I march into the HR office once more and say "I hope none of this is happening because I'm gay." The HR head looks positively offended. I got fired cuz I'm gay. Next day I got a call. They'd come to the "objective truth" (that phrase is burned in my mind), and were terminating me. Apparently they discounted the toilet brush rumor, after all. But they really honestly believed I looked over the stall at a dude. Nightmare - 'No Fear One Fear' Let me tell you something: this is a nightmare. This is my honest-to-god nightmare. I've been terrified of getting accused of something in a bathroom since I was 11 years old. I am incredibly self-conscious and careful in public restrooms. To be fired? From a place full of people I like? And all of them will think I'm a pervert. My boyfriend worked at the same place. He would now have to work there every day dealing with people looking at him and wondering what he must think of his boyfriend. That sent me on a spiral. I'm still out of work, almost a year later. It would have been the worst mental health crisis of my life if it wasn't for my boyfriend, my support network, and the meds I've finally been able to get ahold of. Oh, also. My two accusers? Were roommates. HR knew they were roommates. They basically collaborated on a story to get me fired. The story circulating around the place (I still have acquaintances I talk to working there) has dropped the reflective toilet brush entirely. I guess they thought it was too unbelievable. So anyway, the people who accused me are now telling a different set of events than what I was told. Absolute horse shit. Tried to go to my city's human right's council to see if my situation warranted further attention. I gave my side of the story--including tales of the straight manager who had had enough harassment charges brought against him that he was no longer allowed to meet female staff--which indicated I'd been treated differently and wrongly. My old job made an impassioned argument that the committee violated their First Amendment rights(?) ('Freedom of speech' is the biggie with the First Amendment, for people who cba re:USA). I won the vote!! But one member of the committee was missing. So there weren't enough people for the vote to pass. Dismissed. We took it to the EEOC to make an official federal complaint. Just a week ago, an agent of the US Government patiently explained to us that these laws are literally designed to fuck over the worker and protect the employer unless they are epically stupid, and unfortunately, mine had not been epically stupid. So there's nowhere to go, no recourse to be had. It's over, I guess. Family - 'How to sum it up quickly...' My family hit me with the old soft-disown. No more calls, no more communication. They think they are loving me by not having contact with me. By depriving me of my family, they hope it will make me realize that the path I'm on is destructive, and I'll return to them living an upright life. No. I'm living an upright life, now. And if my family can choose to throw me away, then they are not a family I choose. Then my dad hit me back two months later, absolutely gaslighting me and pretending we never had the disown conversation at all. Reality - 'I don't know who I am anymore' I have trouble knowing what's real, anymore. Every message my dad sends on the surface seems loving and supportive and plaintive. I feel I must be the one in the wrong. I got fired for bullshit reasons. It doesn't feel real. "My family can't possibly have ceased contact with me: that's one of those things I know can never happen!!" But that did happen. So what else that feels real, actually isn't? I do

mean to be so dramatic, and I won't apologize for it. But I truly do feel like my mind has been pretty thoroughly unseated by the last year. Whoever I am, I'm becoming someone different. More distilled, at very least. I've discovered a lot of things about myself: trauma that has likely led to a lot of my mental health problems. Discovered I actually have RAGING ADHD, and it has robber me of a lot of things I wanted to do, and now is sort of consuming me completely. I'm looking for help. Trying to get better. Here's hoping. Every bold point above could be its own book, for all my thoughts about them. But enough of that for now. Love you. Thanks for reading.

#personal #depressed writing #life update #2020 sucked

[morganas-pendragons]

No Body, No Crime | a.s.

As soon as I heard No Body, No Crime from Evermore, I had to write this with him. This is my first test of writing for Anakin - please be gentle. If you enjoy, let me know! I intend to make most of Evermore into a growing series for different SW characters! The first of them is below!

i may have played with the lyrics for a bit 

long story short, i survived - din 

*** 

He did it. 

He did it. 

Your eyes flicker out to the awning in which Padmé Amidala stands. The cool air of Coruscant is tinged with something out of place tonight, something that makes the hairs on your nape stand to attention, and your watchful gaze flickers out to the skyline where you can usually spot the Jedi Temple in all its majesty. 

The image of the skyline is tainted by the sound of screaming and the sight of fire encompassing the spires that usually stand so proud against the Coruscanti sky. 

From where she stands beside you, Padmé Amidala bursts into tears and wraps her arms around the growing swell of her stomach. Part of you wants to say you aren’t jealous, that you don’t wish that was you carrying the child of Anakin Skywalker, but the part of you which desires - Jedi don’t desire, they don’t have wants or needs, they simply ARE - buries that feeling deep down and dredges the rage back up to the surface. 

It’s so hard to believe that the same man who left you in charge of his pregnant wife, who was not so defenseless as he thought her to be, to return to the Temple - the same place you were both raised, the same place that saw the way you looked at him when he wasn’t paying attention - and inevitably be the reason it is now on fire. 

Or so you think. 

Padmé’s a friend of mine 

We meet up every Tuesday night for dinner and a glass of wine 

Before the war, you were a Jedi Knight who had great influence with many of the Senators in the Senate. It had been how you’d met Padmé Amidala to begin with - at the tender age of fourteen when you had not been much older then she was - and had orchestrated the protection she’d received from Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker. 

Known for your sharp tongue and even more clever mind. Maybe that’s why Anakin took an interest in you. 

Padmé’s been losing sleep 

Her husband’s acting different 

And it smells like infidelity 

Anakin Skywalker had not been much younger then you when you met. Still a Padawan himself, he only had the eyes for Amidala and often reminded his Master of that. You’d spent many a nights with Obi-Wan Kenobi on the terraces of the Temple in deep conversation about his struggles training such a head-strong Padawan. 

Then the war had come, and so had Anakin’s padawan. Starry eyed Ahsoka Tano who was barely thirteen years old and having a difficult time believing she was the apprentice to the Chosen One. 

You’d never called him that. It made him too prideful, too arrogant. It was unfortunate that he was so often the topic of your dreams when it was clearly obvious he was tightly wound around Padmé Amidala. 

To you, he was the same boy you’d met all those years ago before a woman and the war had changed him beyond repair. 

Still, you never spoke of it. Never spoke of the way you’d watch him train his padawan in the salles, never about the way he commanded an entire army with just his fierce devotion and loyalty to the clones, never about the way you felt when he made you laugh, never about how he made such a reputation for himself that the galaxy began calling him The Hero With No Fear. 

And here you were, having been one of the people who made him, just another Jedi General fighting on the front lines of a war that seemed to be going on forever. 

  “Master? Can I ask you something?” It had been Ahsoka to bring it up one day late on the fronts of Felucia, a mission that you’d been assigned to accompany Anakin and the 501st to with your own battalion of clones. You were among the best Jedi General with the lowest casualty rates besides Anakin and Obi-Wan and he’d advocated specifically for you to join him and the rest of the 501st. 

The real reason why you’d said yes was because he said he missed you. 

  “Absolutely, Ahsoka.” 

  “You know... The Jedi has taught me my entire life that we’re not supposed to have attachments. We’re not supposed to love. I’m not sure how to do that.” Ahsoka wrung her hands in her lap and lifted her eyes to where Anakin sat on the opposite side of the fire with Fives and Hardcase, mouth stuffed with ration bars and fingers pointed at you. He was probably telling some confounded story about the three missions the two of you had taken together. One of them had ended up with you nearly stuck with a Gundark and her mate, but that’s a story for another time. “How long have you?” 

You still marvel at the fact that she was that intuitive. 

  “Have I what?” 

  ‘’Been attached to Master Skywalker?” 

That question had struck you so hard that you hadn’t quite been able to answer her the way she’d wanted. When had you accepted the fact that you were just a leech on Anakin Skywalker’s back - someone who he’d never see because his gaze was always on Padmé - desperate for his affection that he was never going to return? What the point of running after someone who’d never chase you just as recklessly? 

  “I guess I always run to the people who aren’t willing to run back to me.” 

From that point onward, you’d vowed to bury your feelings for Anakin Skywalker as deep as they could possibly go. There was no point in entertaining a fantasy. That’s all it was. A fantasy. 

This moment, however, is anything but. 

When Anakin comes back to the apartment at 500 Republica, Padmé rushes out to meet him. You’re perched in the sitting room that is swathed with shadow as you keenly watch their short lived reunion. The Force is ringing with alarm. Like it’s trying to tell you something. 

  “Are you alright?” Padmé asks, concern laced in her tone as she grasps his arms like her life depends on it, gaze sweeping across his face as she scans him for any injury he may have obtained. “I heard there was an attack on the Jedi Temple, you can see the smoke from here!” 

I think he did it 

But I just can’t prove it 

I think he did it but I just can’t prove it 

You’ve never had a hard time being able to read Anakin. He was always so bright and receptive to both the Force and other Force sensitive people, always tuned into the feelings of people he cared about most - and victim to the destruction of his own heart that so often got him into trouble - and now as he stands mere feet in front of you, you find it akin to staring at a wall. 

It’s blank. All of him is blank. All those micro-details that had fabricated the very existence known as Anakin Skywalker is as bare as the skies above Coruscant, now filled with smoke and screams. 

No, no body no crime 

But I aint letting up until the day I die 

  “What’s happening?” 

  “The Jedi have tried to overthrow The Republic.” Your breath catches in your throat at what is so very obviously a lie, and your heart immediately reaches out for the presence of dear Obi-Wan Kenobi who happened to be off-world in the midst of the destruction. 

The Force had spared him. You.. however... you remain unaware on whether or not it’ll spare you from what inevitably comes next. 

I think he did it 

People who aren’t quite sure of who they’re supposed to be are so very easily manipulated. 

  “I can’t believe that-” Padmé argues, ever the intelligent, and shook her head at her husband’s accusation. 

  “I saw Master Windu try to assassinate the Chancellor myself,” Anakin replies. Blue eyes swept into the sitting room undoubtedly in search of your form to ensure someone he trusted was still looking out for his beloved. “Are they still here?” 

Padmé nods. Your devotion and loyalty to both the safety of her and her child reminded her so fondly of Sabé - her Queen’s Shadow from her time sitting on the throne on Naboo - and she desperately hoped that would not end with either of you in a grave. 

  “You trusted the right person with our secret, Anakin.” Padmé murmured. It was rather unfortunate that he happened to choose the same person who was trying to fight the way they felt about him. Padmé ached for you. She’d been in that very same position once. “But what are you going to do?” 

  “I will not betray The Republic. My loyalties lie with The Chancellor, with the Senate, and with you.” The lack of your name should alarm you. It doesn’t. Given what’s currently occurring at the Jedi Temple, which is where you should be, you are not surprised that he’s forgotten your presence. Forgotten you. 

Anakin’s eyes fall on the sitting room. Just as he tells Padmé of the next phase of his plan, the darkness he is growing so accustomed to feeling is lit with the sight of a glaring emerald lightsaber. 

  “What about them?” 

You emerge from the room to stand upon the landing platform. Padmé’s lips are poised to call out your name, to beg you not to hurt him, but the very fact remains: This thing standing in front of you is not The Hero With No Fear. He’s something else entirely. Something dark, something fake. 

And darkness goes against everything you have ever stood for. 

  “I don’t know who you think you are.” Your voice is laced with anger as you move forward, not a drop of fear in your aspect, all while keeping your blade trained at Anakin’s chest. Your mind is screaming at you - this is anakin, he’s been broken, stop stop stop stop stop you LOVE him! - but you’re too concerned about the darkness that curls around his bones and makes its home within him to listen to your heart. “But if the Jedi who are currently screaming right now are dead at your hands, I will come back and find you. I will be your end.” 

You press your hand against Padmé’s. Her eyes widen at the feel of a blaster against her palm, nearly the same as the one Saché had hidden within the throne during her first year as Queen. She hears your voice clear in your mind, be careful. 

Anakin has one last thing to say to you before you depart. “If you return to the Temple to save the Jedi,” He calls out, voice monotone and lacking any of the depth and warmth he so often reserved for you and Padmé and Ahsoka. “You will be marked a traitor, and I will find you.” 

Your fingers curl so tightly around your lightsaber that your knuckles turn white. Your stomach threatens to drop as reality finally catches up with you: This thing currently inhabiting the body of Anakin Skywalker is far from the same boy you’d harbored feelings for. Far from the man you’d wished he could’ve become. 

  “I’d like to see you try.” 

The last time Padmé Amidala-Skywalker sees you is the night of Operation Knightfall. She’s more then aware of the way you look at her husband, but your love for Anakin is not her concern. It’s how he could never love you back. 

The last time Anakin Skywalker sees you is before he loses himself to the Dark, gives into his thirst for power, and becomes Darth Vader. 

I think he did it. 

***

Padmé wasn’t there 

Tuesday night at her apartment 

At her job 

Or anywhere 

Somehow, someway, Sabé contacts you. She seems to be aware of your relationship with Padmé prior to the fall of The Republic and so presses you on the details she has been deprived of - seeing as how she’s been with Tanaka for months by that point - and how she had just... died. With no warning, no logical reason, the woman she had dedicated her life to serving was dead. 

Your memory still haunts you with the sights that you’d been greeted with upon landing on Mustafar. Her half-dead body carelessly tossed on the landing platform, head lolling on her shoulder, eyes fluttering as she fought consciousness. 

It had been you who had given her solace aboard her starship, and it had been you to hold her daughter. 

  “You were the closest to my Lady and Skywalker!” Sabé snaps over the holo, and you wince at the bite in her voice. It’s been weeks of sleepless nights and living nightmares. You’re not sure you aren’t hallucinating this entire conversation anyway. “You are truly telling me you are unaware of how she died?” 

She thinks I did but I just can���t prove it 

You have theories. Theories with no evidence to make them facts. 

No... no body no crime

  “I don’t know how she died, but she did.” Your hardened gaze lands on the former handmaiden. “And now it’s up to you to protect her legacy, Sabé.” 

   “Amidalans.” Sabé nods gravely at the moniker and hangs her head. “That is what we will call those who guard our Lady’s tomb. Amidalans.” 

  “She told me about you all the time. We are brave, your Highness.” You feign a warm smile as she meets your eyes. “There’s never been a better time to be brave for your Lady then now, Sabé.” 

That is the last the former Handmaiden of Amidala hears from you. She will go on to form the Amidalans, the guardians of Padmé Amidala’s tomb upon Naboo, and will even live to survive Darth Vader. 

***

The Force had spared you. Until today. Today you stand on the ground of a planet you never thought you’d find yourself apart of, today you stand in the ruins of a Sith Temple with two survivors of Order 66 and the youngest Force sensitive you have seen since the genocide of the Jedi. 

Today, your soul knows what is coming. The inevitable. 

I wasn’t letting up until the day he... 

The name you had given Kanan and Ezra was not your real one, even despite what Ahsoka had claimed about knowing you. She knew you well. After the brief argument that had occurred in light of that news, you’d taken her aside to disclose that you’d briefly joined the Empire and had been an Inquisitor under their ranks after you had been found. Among the best of them. 

You don’t tell her about how they broke you. About how he broke you with the way he towered over you, the way his fingers danced across your cheek and the way his lightsaber had burned itself into your arm. His kyber crystals had called out to you. Had weeped for reprieve. 

Neither of you found it. In front of you, The Sith Temple is alight with emerald and white light. 

No, no body no crime 

I wasn’t letting up until the day he... 

We are brave, Your Highness. 

No, no body no crime 

  “I always said I would be the one to end you.” You call out. Planted in place by Ahsoka, you disengage your saber in favor of both you and his former Padawan using your words to beckon to the person who laid within the suit. “I still fully intend to keep that promise. You’re not-” Tears prick your eyes as you turn your head away from Vader. “You are not the man I would’ve ripped the galaxy apart for.” 

  “Anakin Skywalker was weak. I destroyed him.” Vader tilts his head. He’s clearly proud of himself for something. “And I destroyed you as well. What a shame. You were among the Empire’s best.” 

I wasn’t letting up until the day he...

  “Yeah, you did destroy me.” Ezra watches in awe as both you and Ahsoka engage your sabers, a blinding flurry of green and white light, and take your defensive stances against the Sith Lord. “And now we will destroy you, in honor of him. In honor of Anakin.” 

You launch yourself right at the ghost of Anakin Skywalker. He is a mirage, a fake, a shell of darkness that once housed a being you could have sworn was made of pure starlight. Of love. 

So much for fantasies. 

died. 

#Anakin Skywalker #Anakin Skywalker x Reader #Star Wars imagines #Star Wars oneshots #Darth Vader #Ahsoka Tano #Kanan Jarrus

[whumpwriterforlife]

I love your writing! You write Nyx(and Cor & Crowe) so well! I don't know if it's alright to send in more requests, so feel free to ignore this, but I would like to request forced to kneel with Nyx. Please continue to share your writing as you like, it never fails to brighten my day!

It's most definitely alright to send more requests, don't worry! Here you go, forced to kneel with some badass Nyx. Thank you for your continued support and interest in my writing, it means a lot to me <3

BTHB - Forced to Kneel

Those crossed in blue have been done, pink ones have been requested.

Fandom: Final Fantasy XV

Characters: Nyx Ulric, Crowe Altius & Cor Leonis (with mentioned Libertus Ostium)

Whumpee: Nyx Ulric

Word Count: 1749

Warnings: None

Can be found on ao3 here

--

“Down on your knees!”

Nyx rolled his eyes and made no move to comply as he stood there, surrounded by a handful of armed men. He flipped one of his kukris, studying the blade for a moment before sliding it back into its sheath. The other was still in his grip, ready for action. Nyx shook his head and looked at the man in charge. “And why would I do that?”

The man scoffed, something dark and dangerous flashing across his face. Nyx frowned. There was a condescending tone to his voice as he spoke, “You’re not a very wise man, are you, Glaive Ulric?”

“Wise enough to make it past your security without being detected.” Nyx shrugged. He didn’t let the fact that the man knew his name phase him. It was a poor intimidation tactic as far as he was concerned, considering he had had his name and face plastered on news — against his wishes — on numerous occasions because apparently he was the poster boy for the Kingsglaive, regardless of his stance on the matter.

“Yet foolish enough to come without any backup,” the man pointed out as he slowly sauntered closer. A brave move for a man who was noticeably smaller than Nyx and clearly not a fighter. Then again, he had two armed men flanking him, one on each side. “Did you really think it was going to be that easy to get through my men and free your friends?”

“Did you really think that,” Nyx paused to glance around the hall, “five men, plus yourself, would be enough to stop me? You know my name, you know what I’m capable of.”

He didn’t even wait for his words to sink in before he threw his kukri and warped. He landed in front of one of the underlings and struck him to the temple, knocking him out. He could kill them, it wouldn’t take much, but the men could be interrogated and used to bring the whole organization down. Nyx also detested needless bloodshed. Underling Two tried to come at him with a knife but Nyx moved out of the way and disarmed him with a twist to the wrist. Panic flashed across the underling’s face as Nyx hooked his hand behind his neck and threw him against the wall.

Two down for the count, four to go.

A gunshot echoed in the hall, and Nyx grunted as he felt something rip through his side. His kukri slipped out of his grasp, clattering across the floor, as his hand dropped to his side. His hand came back red with blood. Nyx hissed but there was no time for him to worry about it as underlings Three and Four charged at him. Underling Three had a stun gun in his hands and Nyx could hear the nasty crackling sound coming from it as it came alive. He ducked under Three’s arm, wincing as his side protested, and grabbed him by the wrist. Underling Four didn’t realize Nyx’s plan until it was too late and he was writhing on the ground as the electricity coursed through his body.

Underling Three cursed and twisted in Nyx’s grasp. The stun gun fell to the floor but Three managed to break free and shove Nyx back. Nyx stumbled a bit, Then underling five was on him, throwing punches at him. The first couple Nyx managed to block just fine but then one got past his defenses and landed right above his injured side. A strangled noise ripped out of Nyx’s throat as he instinctively curled around the wound protectively. It gave Three and Five enough time to grab his arms and force him down to his knees.

“Stay down!” one of the underlings ordered.

Nyx hissed, baring his teeth, as his knees hit the floor and pain reverberated through his body. His chest heaved up and down, breathless, as he tried to push past the white-hot pain. He still had a job to do. A hand snuck into his hair and wrenched his head back as the man in charge came to a stop before them.

“Well,” the man began, his face twisting into a smile that looked all kinds of wrong, “It would appear that, yes, five of my men were enough to bring you down.”

Nyx bristled at smug words. “Good for you.”

The man glanced at the two underlings that were holding him down and brushed them off. “You needn't hold him down, just stand guard. I have a feeling he won’t be trying anything again.”

Nyx’s eyes narrowed, and he could feel the hesitancy in the two underlings as well as they let him go. This man was either extremely brave or stupid, possibly both. Nyx lowered one of his hands over the wound on his side to apply pressure. He had fought in worse condition. It would hurt like a bitch to keep going but Nyx wasn’t one to just give up. “Why is that?”

Behind the man, a door opened and a handful of new underlings piled into the room. Nyx rolled his eyes but there was a ghost of a smile on his lips. The man had called backup then. The plan was coming along nicely. That didn’t mean Nyx didn’t think the man wasn’t stupid — he most definitely was.

The man looked down at Nyx with an unreadable expression. “I find it curious that the Crown could only spare one single man for this rescue mission. Of course, there’s been rumors about how some important people find the members of the Kingsglaive more expendable, but I couldn’t bring myself to quite believe that. Intriguing.”

Nyx shrugged. “Are you sure I came here alone?”

The man frowned at him, a calculating look on his face. Nyx just flashed him one of his more charming smiles. The man’s eyes narrowed and he turned on his heels to look at the newcomers. Nyx could see him tense as he shouted, “Who’s guarding the glaives?”

“Rendell, Sir,” someone responded.

The man dug out his phone and tapped furiously on it before bringing the phone to his ear. Nyx just watched him, his smile never wavering. A minute passed. The man didn’t get a response. The phone cracked against the floor as the man threw it with a frustrated growl. His eyes were filled with fury as he locked eyes with Nyx.

“What did you do?” he snarled, pointing an accusing finger at him.

“Me?” Nyx asked innocently. “Nothing. Well, I did bypass your security, get here and knock out a few of your guys but you already knew that much. Now I’m kind of… well, bleeding all over your floor. Sorry about that.”

The man stormed over to Nyx and pushed him down with a foot to the chest. Nyx winced and gritted his teeth to stop himself from crying out as his side was jarred.

“Don’t expect me to believe that. Something is going on, and you know exactly what it is,” the man told him in a low, icy tone. His foot moved down on Nyx’s chest and over the hand he was using to apply pressure on the wound. Nyx stiffened, a sharp curse leaving his lips as the man put more weight on the wound. “Tell me, and I won’t make you suffer.”

Nyx laughed but it came out strained. “Did you ever consider— that maybe I’m not the rescue party,” he said and groaned when the man’s foot shifted. He still smirked though, despite the pain. “That maybe, instead, I’m the decoy.”

The man’s face twisted with fury but before he could do anything, Nyx had summoned a knife from the armiger and thrown it across the room to warp. The room burst with activity and noise, the doors on both sides of the hall flung open as other glaives rushed in. Nyx faltered as he landed from the warp, sinking down onto his hands and knees. He lowered one of his hands back over the wound and hissed. Getting shot sucked big time.

There was a crackle of magic next to him and Crowe appeared next to him. There was a deep frown on her face as she took in the way he was holding his side. She muttered something about idiots under her breath as she moved Nyx’s hand aside to inspect the wound.

“Dammit, we need to get you to the medics, now,” she told him. She pulled Nyx’s arm over her shoulder to help him stand up. “I don’t have any potions left.

Nyx groaned, leaning heavily on Crowe. Despite being smaller than him, Crowe was strong and supported him with little trouble. Nyx licked his lips and swallowed hard. “Did they- the others, they okay?”

“Yes, they’re all fine. Some were a bit roughed up but nothing a few days’ rest won’t heal,” Crowe said as they started walking. “You, once again, are somehow in the worst shape. You fought them, didn’t you? When you were explicitly told not to.”

“Bah,” Nyx muttered, “The situation called for it. Can you- I think I left one of my kukris there.”

“I’ll have someone get them,” Crowe promised. “Then I’ll call Cor and let him know you were being an idiot.”

Nyx rolled his eyes but regretted it as the world spun in his eyes. “You two… mother hens.”

“You should make that three, I think Lib is waiting outside,” Crowe told him and Nyx could hear the amusement in her voice.

“Of course he is,” Nyx scoffed but then his voice softened. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

A few minutes later Crowe left Nyx with the medics and stepped aside to go through with his threat to call Cor. Nyx grumbled about it, telling her to wait until he was in the hospital and already taken care of but she wasn’t having any of it. So, in the end, Cor was waiting for Nyx at the hospital when the ambulance got there. The doctors wanted to keep him there for a while as they needed to dig out the bullet before they could use any curatives on it. Cor never once left his side. It was nice and made Nyx feel all warm and fuzzy which is what he told Cor, in his special high-on-painkillers way that was mostly incoherent mush. Cor just laughed and subtly recorded it to send to the group chat that had him, Crowe and Libertus in it.

#badthingshappenbingo #forced to kneel #final fantasy xv #nyx ulric #crowe altius #cor leonis #libertus ostium #hurt nyx ulric #bamf nyx ulric #nyx ulric whump #kingsglaive final fantasy xv #my writing

[flameo-firelord-hotman]

Part 3

Pairing: Zuko x Fem!Reader

Genre: angst

Warnings: panic attack

Words: 1.5k

Summary: to everyone she knew, [y/n] was a peasant, destined to be a servant just like her parents. To Zuko, however, she was his best friend. After losing his agni kai and being exiled, [y/n] was devastated. She thought she would never see him again. Three years later, she almost wished he never came back.

A/N: wasn’t quite sure how to write this part, and I’m not sure how I feel about it...but I’m just gonna post it anyway :)

Part 2 <- Part 3 -> Part 4

Series | Masterlist

This dark, dusty hallway seems to never end. It feels like I've been wandering for hours, yet it feels like no time has passed. It feels familiar, like a fragment of a memory, yet it feels fabricated. It feels like a lot of things, but I feel…nothing. It's so surreal, yet so natural.

I watch myself from above. My body is floating, light as a feather. Am I spirit? No. How do I know? I don't. But I can see myself right there, standing on the floor next to my friend. I think it's him. His face is a blur, but I can see just enough to be sure.

We're talking. Nothing being said makes sense, yet it all makes sense. He's getting closer to me. Now I feel something, an urge, a whim. He's leaning in, closer and closer, and…

[Y/n]’s eyes fluttered open. She was curled up under the covers of one of the guest room beds. It must have been late morning, because the sun was peaking brightly between the curtains.

For a second, everything was okay. Then, she frowned upon realizing what just happened. Kissing Zuko, what a dream. Really, it could never be a reality. Last night, when they got to the beach, him and Mai made up and got back together. They even kissed right in front of [y/n]. It hurt to watch.

Fortunately for her, they were returning home today. [Y/n] could forget about this trip and go back to living her normal, boring life, something she never thought she would miss. As she packed her bag, she once again thought of that moment from last night. The memory was burned into her brain. No matter how hard she tried to push it away, it kept coming back. And every time, she wondered if what she saw was real. She sure wished it was.

Even if he really did, he could’ve been acting in the heat of the moment. He probably would’ve regretted it afterward. Yeah...why would he kiss his best friend? And a commoner at that? And while he clearly still has feelings for Mai? That would be ridiculous.

[One week later]

Knock, knock, knock.

[Y/n] propped herself up on her elbows and wiped her groggy eyes. It wasn’t unusual to have visitors—her family and neighbors often did favors for each other—but it was rather early in the day for one.

“Just a second!” [Y/n] called out. She tossed the covers aside, quickly threw on a robe and put her hair up in a messy bun.

Damn, I was really hoping to sleep in today. I hope it’s not someone important.

She opened the door.

“Hello, [y/n]!” A teenaged boy in a regal tunic with a scar on his face stood before her. He smiled brightly and waved his hand. [Y/n] felt her heart skip a beat.

“Oh! Um, hi, Zuko,” she replied.

“I hope you don’t mind me stopping by,” Zuko chirped, “I thought we could hang out today, if you want. Your mom told me you have the day off.”

He wants to spend time with me? Just us? [Y/n] was delighted by the opportunity. Then, reality set in: Zuko was still dating Mai and only saw her as a friend. She couldn’t hold his hand, she couldn’t cuddle with him, she couldn’t kiss him, she couldn’t be with him the way she wanted. Clearly, [y/n] hadn't gotten over her crush. If she was going to continue being his friend, she would need to do so. She needed to give herself space.

“Um, I'd like to," [y/n] said slowly, "but...I don’t feel well today.” She placed a hand on her stomach to feign illness. The fact that she had just rolled out of bed helped her cause.

Zuko’s cheerful face morphed to one of sadness. “Oh, no. I’m sorry. Is there anything you need? I could bring you medicine or food.”

[Y/n] shook her head. “No, thanks. I have everything I need.”

“How about I brew you some tea?”

“Er, no, it’s fine. I just need rest.” She scratched the back of her neck nervously.

“Okay. Well, I hope you feel better,” Zuko said earnestly.

“Thanks. Maybe another time,” [y/n] said.

“Yeah.” He trailed off, nodding slowly as he backed away from her apartment. They said their goodbyes and waved to each other. [Y/n] closed the door and leaned against it. She dropped her head into her hands. Already, she regretted her decision. She wanted nothing more than to be with Zuko, even though she knew it would cause her heart to ache.

Why do I have to have a crush on him? Why can't I go back to liking him as a friend? I don't want these feelings. I just want our friendship, I just want what we had three years ago. I don't even know if I can be his friend anymore. It's ruining us. I just lied to him too. It was a stupid lie, but still, what kind of friend does that? Why couldn't I just say no? I’m so pathetic.

A few days had passed since then. Zuko didn't reach out to [y/n], and she didn't reach out to him. Once again, she was back to her day-to-day routine of things…somewhat. There was one day when all the residents on the main land had to be evacuated. [Y/n]'s mother said it was because Firelord Ozai was preparing for an attack during an eclipse, which would weaken our people.

When they returned, they saw the damage. The city's harbor had taken a serious beating, but the palace appeared to be okay. [Y/n]'s parents were quite relieved to know that they wouldn't have any extra work for themselves.

The day after they returned, [y/n] walked into the kitchen to eat breakfast. She saw a messenger hawk sitting on her window sill. Had Zuko finally reached out to her? She hesitantly untied the letter from the bird's leg and read it.

To: [Y/n] Summons Notice to Appear Your presence is required by his majesty Firelord Ozai immediately. Failure to appear in one (1) week will result in criminal charges against you and your family. From: Chief Advisor Xin

A bolt of fear struck [y/n]'s body. She froze. She backtracked the past several days and weeks, trying to think of what she could’ve done to warrant a summons. Nothing came to mind. Then, she wondered if her parents were involved in something treacherous. She couldn’t imagine them doing such a thing...perhaps they were being wrongly accused of a crime. Perhaps she was being wrongly accused of a crime. Her mind jumped to conclusions as rapidly as her heart was beating.

Finally, [y/n] broke free of her paralysis and fumbled for her things. She hastily headed to the palace. Breakfast could definitely wait. On the way, over and over, she begged and prayed to the spirits for her and her family’s safety.

At the palace, [y/n] approached the guards at the gate and presented the summons with shaky hands. They nodded, and one of them escorted her to the throne room. The guard slipped inside to announce her presence to Firelord Ozai. Meanwhile, she waited outside for permission to enter.

This would be her first time being in the presence of the Firelord, let alone talking to him. She was terrified to say the least. [Y/n]’s mom told her all kinds of stories about how scary he was. From the paintings she had seen before, his looks alone were intimidating. Her heart raced faster with every second she waited. Sweat coated her forehead and palms.

The guard returned, making [y/n] nearly jump out of her skin. He gestured for her to enter. And so she did.

The first thing [y/n] noticed was how warm the throne room was. It was massive and wide open with tall, ornate pillars outlining an aisle running down the middle. Straight ahead was the throne, where Firelord Ozai sat surrounded by large, hot, dancing flames. He wore a severe expression, looking just like he did in all those paintings. On his left sat a girl: Princess Azula. The seat on his right was empty.

Where’s Zuko? [Y/n] wondered, but only for a fraction of a second. That didn’t matter right now. She gulped nervously and approached the throne.

“F-Firelord Ozai. Princess Azula,” she shakily dropped to her knees and bowed. She had never felt so small before. “I received your message and came as soon as I could.”

“Why don’t I take this one, father?” [Y/n] gingerly peaked up to see Ozai quietly nodding to Azula. The princess rose from her seat and walked to [y/n]. [Y/n] slowly straightened up.

“Don’t be scared, [y/n]. We just want to ask you a few questions.” Azula patronized her.

“Have you seen or spoken to Zuko recently?” Azula inquired, pacing back and forth. Her heels clacked against the marble floor.

“Yes.”

“When?”

“A few days ago.”

She stopped and turned on her heels to further interrogate [y/n]. “What did you two talk about?”

[Y/n] nervously explained what happened when Zuko stopped by the other day. Azula sighed dramatically and pinched her nose.

After a long, suspenseful silence, [y/n] daringly asked, “Princess Azula...do you mind if I ask what this is about?”

Azula glanced at her with the side of her eye. "Well, since you asked, my dear brother, Zuko…he's been missing the since the attack."

Taglist (open!): @aangsupremacy @kaylove12 @celestialentitiesss

#zuko x reader #zuko #atla #zuko imagine #y’all I had this in my drafts as ‘part 4’ and didn’t notice until tonight #like right before I posted it #ffh writes

[sparklingpax]

RAMBLING ABOUT TFP MEGATRON AGAIN:

And this is not me hating on him so if you hate him and wanna yell at people who don’t, scroll on by! I’m not glorifying him either!! Please dont accuse me of condoning his actions!! 

Also I wrote literally whatever came to my mind so this is rambling and I apologize if anything here makes no sense. Or grammar. Or spelling. Etc. Also I’m kinda in the middle of a class so I couldnt like,,,google stuff so I’m going based on what i remember reading and seeing in the show. tbh not incredibly long. 

ALSO THIS ISNT DIRECTED AT ANYBODY I SWEAR I WAS JUST THINKING OUT LOUD FOR A WHILE UHM. THERE. 

And I hope I didn’t accidentally contradict myself. I wrote something very similar to this once but idk if it’s still up so here’s my current trains of thoughts o//o

Anyway

I respect your opinion but I still liked TFP Megatron and I understand him. Not that I justify his actions, but anyway I really did like him and wished so many things hadn’t happened to him in the first place. Had he been born to a fair Cybertron, he’d have lived a good life, and I bet he would be a respected, adored figure. He’s not inherently a destructive, abusive, jerk. But the life he lived first messed him up, I think permanently too. Even as Megatronus, the gladiatorial champion, a public figure who many listened to, there was something--a lot of things--wrong inside him. I know I’ve said this before but it wasn’t all his fault and I’m just sad every time I see Megatron hate because he really was a tortured soul that really didn’t know any better. Then, once he did, he was too far gone into the depths of the evils he’d committed thus far and probably thought a few things: that he was unworthy of change and therefore couldn’t, that he liked this feeling of power and no limitations--which he never had before. Yes, he murdered people, lied to them, used and abused them, and ultimately made his quest for revenge and justice into a power grab, but at first, it was untamed anger and resentment for all those who had lived above him (literally or in terms of class) and he wanted to show them. I think he got carried away and lost himself in the process. Which is why you have that scene at the end of the movie where he just flies away. 

I have no evidence for these claims, just some strong, gut feelings. And my heart. There’s a part of me that always wants to understand a person at least, to know why and to see if it really was entirely their fault. idk that makes no sense but I know we’ll never know what he was really thinking when he did this stuff. I’m just guessing. 

Just like Megatronus, the Prime, who a lot of us have sympathy for by the way and want to forgive, he realized his mistakes and exiled himself. Also I’m aware that the causes were different and Megatron chose to do more wrong that Megatronus did, and it was indeed Megatron’s fault most of the time, I think he also deserves some kind of understanding at least and not all hate. I will never truly hate Megatron because I know the dark place he came from and how he had to literally fight to gain everything he had. He had a real motive, too. He’s never ever been “evil just bc” and sometimes TFP didn’t portray his real underlying motives as well. But if you analyze him fully using all the lore and details made available....there’s a lot more to him than was shown in the series. 

Idk point is, I’ve said this before, I just want to express how he’s not the worst of the worst kind of evil. More than any other Megatron, he really deserves a second look and a lot more understanding. Not justification, understanding. At least if you call him evil, know that it’s because he was messed up first. And that we can blame the Cybertronian caste system, which in the end, was the cause of all this injustice. After the Quintessons left, the ones in charge made a deal in a backroom and decided they’d like to stay in power and keep this oppressive system their invaders used. That’s more evil than anything. And look at the absolute mess they made with it. 

Uhhh so yeah please no debates again I respect everyone’s opinions I’m just expressing mine and I’m also not standing by or saying that any of the really terrible things Megatron has done were ok. They were not. All I’m tryna do is debunk this whole “He was evil just because lol” kinda arguments because he wasnt. 

:’(

#rambles #kuni talks #thoughts #tfp megatron #GONNA DELTE THIS LATER DW #This here is DUMB and probably everyon disagrees with me #who am i kidding tho most of y'all probably aint gonna read this bullshit #:')

[spencerreidscoffeecup]

People Pleaser (sub!spencer)

CW: penetrative sex, face-sitting (kind of), oral sex (female recieving), choking k!nk, hate-fuck, semi-public sex, degredation, heavy petting, teasing, begging, dub-con

AN: hey guys! I hope you enjoy this one shot! I MAY post pt two to drunk words are sober thoughts, but I honestly am not sure.. Anyway, I imagined seasons 1-4 reid for this one shot. I imagined the reader to be around 24 and spencer to be 24 as well so I know that technically y/n couldn't have taken over Hotch's spot, but for the sake of this story, she did lol. enjoy <3

(season 4 cast, but hotch is out of the bau)

Reader's POV:

Working as the head unit chief of the BAU was a dream.

I mean, I loved the work, although upsetting because of the cases, I was passionate about it.

I loved solving the cases and helping people.

And I loved-no, I adored the team.

Well, most of the team.

Doctor Spencer Reid had had a problem with me since day one.

He was... difficult to work with.

I was told that he was bitter towards me because I took the position of Agent Aaron Hotchner, however, that still didn't excuse the cold shoulder he'd give me each day. It wasn't my fault Agent Hotchner had left, but it was probably easier for Spencer to blame his absence on me.

Also, it's not like I hated him, because truthfully, I took a great liking to the young doctor. However, when he would roll his eyes at me whenever I spoke, a great ball of rage would burn in the depths of my stomach. I hated that he was disrespectful to me. I hated that he hated me. And most importantly, I hated that I didn't stand up for myself.

I guess you could say I was a people pleaser, as I tried every way I could to get him to like me, however, nothing seemed to work. I mean, I tried sparking up a conversation about things he was interested in, showing him that he and I had common interests, but instead, he would give me a slight condescending look. And if I thought his subtle disdain he had for me was enough to pissed me off, his look of being better than me made my fists ball and my jaw clench.

He was cocky.

Too cocky.

And he needed to be put in his place.

So one late night at the BAU, when everyone in the building had left, I was still working hard on the excessive amounts of paperwork that piled up on my desk. However, around midnight I started to become drowsy, my eyelids feeling as though they were weighted. Yawning, I stood up from my desk, heading out to the bullpen to snag another cup of coffee. Upon opening my office door, I saw Spencer, hunched over his desk, his nose buried in a book as his fingers traced down the column of the page he was reading, his eyes flicking from line to line as he flipped through each page.

I found the doctor to be a very interesting person in all honesty. I mean, his IQ was through the roof, he could read extremely fast and still had the ability of processing the information that was given to him, and he held a record amount of BA's and PhD's. I had never met anyone like him.

"Hey, Reid," I greeted, slightly surprised by how late he decided to stay here. Grabbing a mug from the cabinet above the coffee machine, I turned my head to look at him. "What are you doing here so late?"

Spencer glanced up from his book, looking at me, before pushing his glasses farther up the bridge of his nose. "I was just doing paperwork. However, I decided to take a quick break," he responded, looking back down at his book with pure boredom. After flipping through three pages that took him about 2 seconds to read, he sat his book down, swiveling his chair back around to face his desk.

"Don't worry, I'm starting on it now." he grumbled, picking his pen up and beginning to scratch down information on the excessive amounts of papers that lie in a pile in front of him.

By now, I had finished making my coffee, so I made my way over to him, sitting on the corner of his desk, crossing my legs.

I would like to think I was trying to get on his good side, I mean, I had this weird obsession with trying to get him to take a liking to me, however I believe that I was doing one of the main things I did best besides my job: procrastinating.

Spencer looked up at me, his eyebrows raised in slight confusion.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Taking my own personal break from my paperwork." I answered, shrugging nonchalantly.

"Well can you do it somewhere else? I'm trying to work."

I rolled my eyes, placing my mug down on the edge of his desk.

It was quiet between us.

Tense.

Still, I sat on the edge of his desk, my legs crossed over one another as I leaned back on my hands that were placed behind me.

Sighing in a very dramatic way, Spencer looked up at me; obviously piqued by my presence. His face remained relatively stoic, however, his cheeks were kissed with a slight blush as I leaned my body forward to take a better look at him.

"You know, I think you should get an office." I remarked, taking a sip of my coffee. I felt his eyes on me as I swallowed the warm liquid.

"I don't mind working in the bullpen. An office creates opportunities for secrecy."

I raised my eyebrows, laughing softly. "What, do you think I keep secrets from you and the rest of the team?"

"It's a natural default to having a seperate room from the rest of us. You know what goes on with us when we're here, but we have no clue what goes on with you when you're here behind your office doors." he shrugged, adjusting his frames that sat so perfectly on his nose.

"Well I can assure you, Doctor Reid, I am not an advocate for secrets. Sure, I think some things are healthy to keep to yourself, but hiding things from others that could ultimately lead to negative consequences? Definitely not healthy." I hoped to match his elusive energy. I wanted to beat him at something other than the hierarchy of this job position.

Spencer turned to look at me, scooting his chair in front of my body.

"Everybody has secrets."

Surprisingly, his eyes stayed locked with mine, as though he were searching for something inside of them. His aloofness slightly melted as though it were a facade he'd created, and I was finally able to look at him with a new point of view.

Spencer was taciturn when it came to his personal life. There were many things I didn't know about him, and many things he didn't know about me. This realization made me yearn to learn more about him.

However, I stuck with our previous conversation about him getting his own space.

"I still think you should get your own office," I began, but Spencer gave me an accusing look. I sighed. "However, judging by your expression you probably think I'm only offering you your own space as a means to finally make you stop hating me."

"I hope not," Spencer droned back, seemingly bored and slightly bitter. "My loyalty cannot be bought."

Ha, doubtful.

"It's not about the money, Spencer," I purred, pulling his red, silk tie to me as I tangled it between my fingers, Spencer clearing his throat nervously as he watched me intently. Regardless of how much I breached his personal space, he remained relatively calm; only getting a little slightly pink in the face, his knee bouncing up and down. I continued, "It's about security. Comfortability. Authority."

Spencer's apathetic demeanor was shattered by a low laugh. "Authority?" he asked sarcastically, "You think you possess authority?"

"I do." I stated simply, Spencer still laughing at the idea of me being in charge of something.

I didn't see what was so funny.

None of this was even the slightest bit humorous to me.

I was the one who kept the BAU afloat when it came to managing the team.

Anger bubbled in my gut.

His tie was still tangled between my fingers as I ran my fingers up the silk, tugging on it harshly, eliciting a slight choking sound from Spencer. I pulled him close to my face with his tie, his wry laughs stopping immediately as we were inches apart.

"I hold more authority than you do, Doctor Reid. I may be different from your 'daddy', Aaron Hotchner, but I still demand respect. So you give it to me, or you get out.. Understand?" Spencer gulped, nodding fervently, his pupils dilating as I flashed him a sweet smile. "Good boy. Now, finish your paperwork and come get me when you're done." I see his face get red, his eyes glancing down at my lips then back up to my eyes.

I let go of his tie, standing up and beginning to walk away before Spencer made another comment.

Y-you know, it'd be nice to get some respect from you."

I laughed sardonically, turning back around to face him.

"Oh, you want my respect now? Respect is something that needs to be reciprocated and as far as I can tell, I've tried my best to respect you. I just won't be nice to someone who isn't nice to me no matter the circumstance." Crossing my arms in front of my chest defensively, I stalk over to Spencer, who is now redder than a tomato.

"I-I'm just saying that you were the one who--who started all of this. This quarrel between you and me."

Is he fucking kidding me right now?

"I'm the one who started this? Spencer, I'm the one who walked in here with a positive attitude, excited to meet you all.. You're the one who was- and still is- upset that Hotch left. I'm just an easy blame for your daddy issues." I huff, feeling my blood boil in my body.

How dare he blame me for all of this?

He was quiet for a moment, his hand gripping his pen tightly.

Once again, as I was completely sick of this bullshit (and had lost my remaining patience), Spencer said one more thing that really got on my nerves.

"I think that it would be best if we both apologized to one another."

Sorry?

Did I hear him correctly?

He wants me to apologize to him?

What the fuck did I even do?

The answer: nothing.

I tried my best to be nice to him.

And he ruined it in the end.

These thoughts swarmed my mind like hornets flying around one another when someone sprays their nest with chemicals.

I walked over to him, bending down to look at him as Spencer tried his best to keep his eyes on me and not.. Wander off.

"You want me to apologize to you?"

Spencer nodded slowly, his golden irises flashing with a certain look I couldn't quite decipher.

I looked at him a little bit longer, realizing that he was completely serious about this.

Fine.

He wanted an apology? An apology he'll get.

Slowly, I dropped down to my knees, my gaze still fixed on his face; Spencer's eyes growing wide.

"Oh, Doctor Reid. Please forgive me!" I begged dramatically, clasping my hands together in front of my chest. "You are so correct, even though you view me as an abhorrent being, I give you all of my respect and apologizes."

"Y-Y/n, I-I didn't mean it like that." he said flusteredly, his hands balled into fists that sat on his thighs, grasping the fabric of his slacks tightly.

"Oh, but didn't you? Don't you want someone to get on their knees in front of you and beg for your forgiveness? Don't you crave that kind of power? You know, the kind of power you don't get on a normal basis?" I asked, dragging a hand softly up the back of his calf, Spencer's hand immediately shooting to cover his crotch.

"N-no, I-I just-"

"What, Doctor Reid? You just, what?" I interrupted, a mocking pout crawling over my lips.

The sexual tension in the room was palpable. I could practically feel the hateful lust that was omitted from our bodies.

Now, dragging my hand up his thigh, Spencer's eyes watched my hand attentively, his breathing getting shaky.

"I-I just, you know- want someone to- well I-I'm not sure." he stuttered nervously, whimpering softly as I uncovered his hands from his evidently large bulge that tented in his tan slacks.

I dragged my other hand softly up his thigh, all the way to his crotch as he gripped the arm rests of the seat, his knuckles turning white as I slowly dragged my hand across his clothed dick.

I felt like a girl possessed, my mind no longer held the ability to control my body.

"You know what I think, Spencer? I think that you're the one that wants to get on their knees in front of someone. I think you would like it, wouldn't you?" I asked, beginning to massage him through his pants.

Spencer was quiet, his breath hitching in his throat as he tilted his head back; his mouth agape as I began rubbing my hand harder against him. He bucked his hips lightly as I continued to massage him through his slacks.

I began to grow impatient, wanting an answer from him right away. Although I knew what the answer would be, I loved watching how beautiful he looked when he became enraptured by my touch.

I let go of his crotch, tugging his tie down so he looked at me fully. He whimpered softly, Spencer's glasses drooping slightly on his nose.

"When I speak to you, you answer me." I snapped, wrapping his tie around my fingers as I did earlier.

"I-I'm sorry miss. T-to answer your question: Yes. You-you're right." his voice came out an octave higher than normal, which made my stomach flutter.

Our lips were centimeters apart from one another as Spencer leaned in, trying his best to initiate the kiss before I took charge. In an instant, I tugged him closer to me, eliciting a small whine to slip past his lips as we kissed one another with so much passion. Anger that had been rising between us fueld this kiss, our lips meeting together feverishly, our tongues beginning to massage against each other as I mindlessly stood up from my kneeling position, climbing onto Spencer's lap and straddling him as he groaned lightly into my mouth. I tugged on the hair from the back of his head, Spencer whimpering in response as he pushed my ass farther down on his lap, his hand gripping my thigh, his other hand wrapped around my body to hold my waist tightly.

I began to rock against him, my clit throbbing for attention as small mewls escaped my throat and passed into his mouth, Spencer's small whines and whimpers vibrating against my lips.

As I rocked faster on him, my lips still smashed against his in a fervent manner, he reluctantly pulled away, grunting.

"S-stop doing that," he groaned, my clothed core rubbing against his tented slacks.

"Stop doing what, Doctor Reid?" I asked, kissing his neck, sucking on his skin lightly; sure to leave marks.

"S-stop rubbing y-yourself against me or else I-I'm gonna- or else I'm gonna cum." he whimpered, digging his fingers harshly into my thigh.

"You're right.. I don't want to make you cum until you make me finish first." I said, kissing his lips softly.

I pulled away, glancing down at his lips which were now red and swollen.

God, he was so cute.

"B-but what about the security cameras?" he asked.

I pondered his question before getting up from his lap with shaky legs, grabbing his tie and yanking him behind me as though he were a dog on a leash. "Follow me."

We walked quickly into my office, and I shut the office door with my foot, my lips instantly finding their way back to his.

He bumped into my desk as we kissed, his lips chasing mine as I whirled him around, sitting myself on the top of my desk as I pulled him close to me again.

Reid quickly unbuttoned part of my shirt, sucking on the tops of my breasts as I threw my head back.

"Spencer," I said breathlessly, combing my fingers through his hair. "Get on your knees."

Spencer scrambled down to get on his knees in front of me, his hair unkempt as I combed my fingers through it. I brought his hands up to the hem line of my skirt, allowing him to hike the material up my hips. He eagerly brought a hand to my clothed pussy, his tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth as he drew lazy circles on my clit as my hips rocked against his hand.

He surprised me by slowly pulling my panties down to my ankles, my black heels stopping them from falling to the floor. Sucking up my thigh, he bit the soft skin as I tugged on his hair.

Spencer licked his swollen lips as he looked at my arousal, his eyes wide and greedy.

"Go ahead, Doctor Reid," I prompted him to dip his head under the remaining portion of my skirt, his tongue licking a flat strip up my core as I cried out, my fingers still intertwined in his hair. He began grasping onto my thighs, shifting closer to me as he still stayed on his knees, humming against my cunt. "Sometimes you just need to- ah!- Sometimes you just need to shut the fuck up." I growled, my chest heaving as Spencer's tongue circled around my clit, then thrusted in and out of me as obscenities flew from my mouth.

I felt my orgasm already building in the bottom of my belly as I grasped onto Spencer's hair harder, making him grunt against me which made me begin to teeter off of the edge of release. I could feel the cold lenses of his glasses pressed against my warm thigh as he ate me out, my moans echoing throughout my office.

"Good boy, keep going." I moaned, my mouth opened slightly as I began to grind my hips on his mouth. Spencer spread my legs open wider, his hand crawling up the top of my thigh to my breast as he squeezed it, his hand flexing, causing the veins to become more prominent.

In a matter of seconds, I fell into a sea of euphoria as I came on Spencer's face. He used his tongue to lap up the excess arousal, his mouth still sucking on me even after I had ridden my high out. I pulled him up by his hair, the sight in front of me enough to make me cum again.

There the young doctor stood, his eyes looking into mine for approval. My arousal, which had been mixed with his spit, dripped down his red, swollen lips, dribbling to his chin as he breathed heavily. I crashed my lips with his as I pushed him onto the chair in front of my desk, straddling his thighs.

Quickly, he reached between us and undid his belt, then his pants as I pushed his boxers down to relieve his length which lightly tapped his lower belly. My heart skipped a beat at the sight of it as I swiped my thumb over the tip, his dick leaking with precum.

I began to massage him, biting my lip softly as I gauged his reactions.

"P-please, Y/n," he begged, small groans falling past his lips. "P-please, fuck me."

"I don't know, I don't think you want it that badly quite yet." I said, grinding my hips on his thigh, the friction causing my pussy to clench around nothing.

He whimpered, gripping onto my waist firmly. "Please, I-I want it so bad. I n-need it."

I raised my eyebrows, grinding my hips faster on him as my core throbbed. "You need it?"

Spencer looked at me through a half-lidded gaze, nodding his head feverishly as I stroked him faster. "Y-yes, please! I need it so bad."

I would've dragged it out to be an even longer, torturous process, but the truth was that I was getting needy too.

So, I lifted my hips up, rubbing his tip against my core before sinking down on him.

Moans slipped past Spencer's lips as I began to bounce on him, my own sounds escaping my throat.

"Fuck," I whined, secretly thanking myself for wearing a skirt today. "I knew you'd like this, I knew you'd like begging for me.. Did you like it, Doctor Reid?" I asked, slamming myself back down on his cock.

"Y-Yes, ma'am," he gasped, leaning his forehead on my shoulder as he watched himself go in and out of me. "I-I loved it so much."

A small smile crossed my face as I pulled his head back, wrapping my hands around his throat as he choked lightly.

"Ugh!" I groaned, squeezing the sides of his throat gently as he bucked his hips upwards inside of me, hitting my sweet spot repeatedly. "You're such a little bitch, you know that?" I asked, laughing softly as my eyebrows drew together in pleasure.

Spencer looked at me through his slightly closed eyes, his mouth agape as I leaned forward, his hips thrusting more rapidly into mine as he hit every perfect spot inside of me, my orgasm building in my lower belly once more.

"Answer me." demanded, Spencer sucking his bottom lip momentarily before answering.

"Y-yes, miss. I-I'm a bitch." he gasped, his dick twitching inside of me.

My thighs began to burn as my bouncing became rapid, more uncontrollable moans seeping past my lips, Spencer whimpering and crying out every so often.

"Fuck, miss.. I'm gonna cum." Spencer sobbed, crying out more when I pressed my front against his, tugging his hair back.

"Hold on, I'm almost there." I breathed, feeling my orgasm overflow in my belly like a rain barrel. The euphoria I felt wracked through my belly as my cunt continuously clenched around Spencer's cock, him immediately cumming right after me.

Our bodies trembled and shook as I slowed my bouncing down on him, his hips thrashing upwards every once in a while that completely milked my orgasm to last longer.

"Fuck." he grunted, still gripping my hips with his hands as he held me down, emptying the rest of himself inside of me.

As we both came down from our highs, Spencer kissed my shoulder, biting on it gently which made me squeal.

It was quiet for a moment--not awkward, not tense, just quiet and.. Calm.

Finally we each caugh our breaths, my hand still woven between his now extremely messy (but extremely charming) hair.

"So my own space in the office, huh?" he asked as I began to redress, Spencer following along with me.

A small laugh broke from my throat as I stated sarcastically, "What convinced you?"

--

AN: hey guys!

lowkey hate this but tell me if you guys liked it!!

i hoped you all enjoyed and more stuff to come soon!!

<3

#spencerreid #spencerreidxreader #fanfic #wattpad #criminalminds

[always-there]

About consent

OK guys, buckle up, because today's topic is depressing as hell.

Today I'm gonna talk about consent. I usually ponder about this while I cook, in the shower, late at night when I'm applying all my learned hypnosis techniques to force myself to sleep.

I was never taught about consent. All I had going for me was the classic "Rape is bad, avoid rape" chant the world of the 90's society thought was enough. All I saw were girls being advised to not dress like sluts and avoid being provocative in public. I got a good couple of different versions of that, mind you, as I grew up in a conservative Catholic school.

Nobody told us about the universe of potential situations contained within that fucking "Rape is bad, avoid rape". We thought rape happened when a man forced himself on a woman that was actively trying to resist him.

Black and white. No grey areas. Pretty simple.

I was fine with that. I was even judgmental towards victims, once I saw how they were dressed when they were attacked. Or if they were drunk or walking by themselves on areas widely known to be dangerous.

And then I grew up, entered the nasty-ass world of adults, and the Universe took pains to kick my ass in so many ways during 30 years that have finally lead to this post today.

So, I'm a list person. I like making lists. So here goes my one and only...

CONSENT LIST

• Dudes get raped too. Yeah. I know it's basic, but I scoffed at the concept for years. I know many people who still do. Dudes get raped too, get it into your mind. And no, it doesn't happen when they are effeminate weaklings. No. Any man can get raped. And they deserve to be treated as proper victims, with respect and compassion. The few times I've seen testimonies of male rape survivors, they reported even the police was skeptical or treating them like pussies or jokes.

• If your partner is sleeping, it's not consent. No, I don't give a fuck if you guys have been together for 20 years. No, I don't give a fuck if they wake up in the middle of it and decide to continue. I don't even give a fuck if they say they like it. If you touch, penetrate, make whatever sexual advance on a sleeping person, you are raping them. Any unconscious person is unable to give consent.

• If you're in the middle of it, having a good time, and suddenly your partner wants to stop... guess what, it's time to stop. You don't stop? You ask them to hang in there for just a while more until you're done? You power through it? Yeah, no. That's not consent, buddy.

• If you're ABOUT to do it, and the foreplay was great, and they were so into it, but when the time comes to actually go all the way, they change their mind... time to go home. Or put on a movie, or do whatever the fuck you want that is not forcing or trying to persuade your partner to go on.

• Subtle denial is a big-ass NO as well. They have a headache? Leave it. They are tired? Leave it. They have to wake up early the next day? Leave it. They fear a phantom clown is gonna haunt the bed if they indulge in intercourse that night? Leave-it. Don't persuade your partner to have sex if they don't feel like it. You know why? Because they DON'T want to have sex. Persuading or wearing someone down to say yes is not consent. It's pressure. Which takes us to the next bullet...

• If you insist that YES always means YES just like NO always means NO, I will smack you in the head with a frozen lamb leg. YES can be induced. Can be pressured. You can actually intimidate, scare, threaten and bully a person into saying yes. Maybe they are not ready. Maybe they are not sure about the relationship. Maybe they are not feeling well. Maybe they are fucking scared of you. It doesn't matter. If you have to lobby for it, leave it. You're being a creep.

• Drunk people. Good God. I can't believe this has to be an item. Leave drunk people alone! And I don't even mean passed-out drunk, I mean intoxicated but still dancing people, still talking people, I even mean, yes, dizzy or tipsy people. A person under the influence is not able to consent. Why do you think we drink, why do we call it a social lubricant, and other funny jabs? Because alcohol fights the restraint and common sense we'd had otherwise. It's a fun way to loosen up and get relaxed, but if someone has been drinking, don't hunt them for sex. I can't believe the number of movies and series that broadcast dudes trying to hit on drunk women. It still happens today, and not in a Law and Order episode, in your common everyday rom-com. This applies to every person under the influence of whatever substance they took that clouds their judgment.

And no, I won't hear it. They didn't put themselves in a position of danger. You are the danger, a threat that should not exist in the first place.

• So far so good, right? Well, tell me what you think about this. Let's say your partner doesn't want to have kids. And you do want them, for whatever reason. So, what do you do?

You mess with their birth control. Or you lie about you taking birth control. Or you lie about using a condom, or about the physical integrity and expiration date of said condom. Bam, presto manifesto, a bun in the oven.

That is fucking rape. And if you still need to ask why, because for whatever reason that was not creepy enough for you, I'll spell it out. It's rape, because the other person did not consent to that.

And now, if you still don't feel the need to go and take a shower until December, I have yet another list.

Are you in doubt? Are you not sure you are a rapist or not? Worry not! Below you'll find a funny little questionnaire ready for you to clear your mind and heart:

CAN I RAPE SOMEONE IF...

• ...they are dressing provocatively?

Answer: They could be walking down the busiest street of the city during rush hour completely naked and with a big, red silk bow on their ass, and still, nothing in the fucking world gives you the right to touch them. You are not entitled to another person's body because of what they choose to wear.

• ...we are dating?

Answer: Not if you are dating, not if you are married, not if the zombie apocalypse finally wiped out humanity and God himself descends from Heaven to pronounce you Adam & Eve 2.0 and gives you the task to repopulate the world. Dating only means you two are seeing each other on a regular basis for fun or to explore the possibility of a future together. It doesn't mean that your partner's body becomes your property, ergo, you have no rights whatsoever over it.

• ...they are seducing me?

Answer: Half of the time, nobody was seducing you, genius. If I have to hear another anecdote of how a bartender or barista o waitperson were throwing themselves on someone, I will barf in my own mouth. Servers are required to be nice, it's on their job description. But anyway, let's say for the sake of argument that yeah, they are indeed seducing you: no. Showing interest in someone is not an invitation to fuck, nor a provocation to fuck, so let things go their way and don't be a creepy jackass.

• ...I have done nice things for them?

This one I actually heard from a former, and I can't emphasize the former enough, friend. Their case was something along the lines of, I took her to dinner and a movie, later coffee and dessert, and one other lame activity I can't remember (probably drinks), paid for everything, took her home on my car... and then she refused to let me go upstairs!

Dude. Duuuuuude. And dudettes too, of course. No. If you want to get your money's worth, go to a proper sex worker, who will charge you accordingly for their services. Don't expect the other person to feel obligated to pay you with their body just because you fed them and threw a movie ticket in the package!

I had one friend go on a date with a guy. The date didn't work out, so they went their separate ways... until the guy showed up on her doorstep asking her to reimburse him for coffee and a donut. I shit you not. She was so dumbfounded she actually paid him back so he would leave, and I'm glad she did, because that, my friend, is rapist material on the making.

• ...they are a sex worker?

Answer: No, you creepy freak, absolutely not. Every single point I mentioned above applies to every human being on the planet and active or inactive Space stations. You cannot force yourself on anyone, you cannot violate consent ever. It doesn't matter if you're fooling around with the biblical whores of Babylon or the entire cast of Full Monty after a round of the blue pill. Consent protects everyone, no matter what they do for a living.

I'm so happy that all these points are not gonna be news for most of you. Awareness is spreading and the new generations are taught about consent since they are little kids. My generation, and most of all my generation in my country, dominated by a traditional patriarchal society, heard nothing of it. "Rape is bad, avoid rape" was taught mostly as a warning tale for girls. It was the girls' responsibility to prevent rape. Don't walk alone at night. Don't use slutty clothes. Don't be provocative towards men. Don't drink too much. Don't stare too much. Don't go to non-respectable places. Don't put yourself in danger.

I think things would significantly change if the song was played differently. Don't teach girls how to prevent rape. Don't teach boys that rape is bad and that "real men" don't need it.

Teach everyone about consent. Rape is only one of the grim consequences of violating consent. There are thousands of different traumatizing situations that could be avoided if we only respected consent all the time, if we were taught about healthy boundaries and personal integrity since kids.

But hey, we're getting there. I hope. I wish.

• Disclaimer: actually, I think disclaimers like this should not be needed, but still. In case you feel the urge of accusing me of speaking from theory... nope. I speak from experience. Personal experience. Experience I wish I didn't have, and that I had a very hard time harvesting to learn and become stronger. So yeah. Shut the fuck up, go out there and respect the shit out of people.

#consent #coercion #harrassment #r*ape #r*pe mention #victim blaming #it's 6 am here why I am writing about this at this ungodly hour

[tearsofthemis]

[Date] 左然 Zuo Ran: 「醉意入怀 Drunken Bottled Truths」

Preview:

“Why... I told you, to come find me when you run into trouble. Why did you have to... with him... Do you always trust others this easily!?”

Keep reading for the full date!

▌Location- Themis Law Firm, Break Room

Beep beep beep-- it was four-thirty in the afternoon, and my alarm went off on my phone. I closed the notification, saved the document I was working on, and closed my laptop. I brought my makeup bag from my desk into the break room and started my routine. There’s a business reception tonight, organized by the famous watchmaker brand in Stellis City, “LingXi Watches”. Zuo Ran had been responsible for one of their lawsuits and had been invited to attend. In turn, Zuo Ran extended the invitation to me as his plus one.)

MC: (Maybe I should spend more time practicing how to put on makeup… My skills are seriously lacking… Oh well, I should be fine with a little foundation. I don’t think I should attempt anything more advanced than that.)

Just as I was rummaging through my bag of makeup products, the break room door opened. ChengCheng peeked in to the breakroom and quickly rushed over to me.

ChengCheng: “Psst, is it true that you’ll be attending LingXi Watches’s reception with Lawyer Zuo tonight?”

MC: “Yeah, why, what’s wrong?”

Suddenly, ChengCheng clasped my hands in hers and looked at me with sparkling eyes.

ChengCheng: “I beg you… I only have this one wish in my life! If it’s not too much trouble, I beg you… you gotta help me!”

MC: “What is it?”

ChengCheng: “My favorite star is attending LingXi Watches’s party as their spokesperson. If you get a chance to meet him, can you help me get his autograph…”

ChengCheng continued to explain; I couldn’t get a word in.

ChengCheng: “I’m not asking for you to hound him or anything like that! If… the opportunity should present itself, won’t you try and ask him for me…”

MC: “Alright, I’ll try. No guarantees though-”

ChengCheng wrapped me in a tight bear hug before I could finish my sentence.

ChengCheng: “Of course, of course! I owe you my life in thanks! MC, you’re like an angel sent down from above!”

▌Location- Zuo Ran’s Office

At the same time…

Zhai Xing: “Are you really planning on taking MC to tonight’s banquet?”

Zuo Ran: “That’s right, why?”

Zhai Xing: “The reception isn’t exclusive to businesspeople; there’s going to be celebrities attending as well. I remember… Gao ShengHan, LingXi Watches’s spokesperson, will be in attendance.”

Zuo Ran: “You pay attention to celebrity news?”

Zhai Xing: “Of course not, I only know him because he recently starred in a popular new drama about love in the workplace. In the end, all the ladies in our firm were raving about him, so I remembered his name. I heard that Gao ShengHan is deemed ‘the senior we’d kill to work with’.”

Zhai Xing glanced at Zuo Ran and gave him a pointed look.

Zhai Xing: “Aren’t you scared that she’ll…?”

Zuo Ran: “I don’t think she’s the type of person to be attracted to TV personalities. Besides, dramas like that aren’t based on reality. A relationship is built upon a foundation of mutual understanding and trust.”

Zhai Xing: “What you just described is defined as a slow-burn love. Now, let’s not forget that ‘love at first sight’ still exists. Hold on - what did you just say? ‘Dramas like that-’? What do you even know about TV tropes? You’ve watched his show?”

Zuo Ran awkwardly coughed, got up, and fixed his tie.

Zuo Ran: “There’s not much time left, I’ll head out first.”

~~~

▌Location- Parking Lot

Zuo Ran drove us to the hotel venue, and we arrived close to the banquet start time. This was my first time accompanying Zuo Ran as his plus one. In the past, I had only attended strictly as his assistant. I couldn’t help but feel nervous. I closed my eyes and took a couple deep breaths. Just then, Zuo Ran spoke up beside me.

Zuo Ran: “Ah, there’s something I have to remind you of.”

MC: “What is it?”

Zuo Ran: “There’s going to be all kinds of people at the reception. If anyone tries to force you to accept drinks, you need not go along with them. Immediately come find me if it happens.”

MC: “B-but the guests tonight all have some kind of social standing. If I refuse their invites, it won't look good for them…”

I hesitated. Even if I didn’t have experience attending parties like this, it would sound rude if I refused.

MC: “I’m not going as my own entity, my actions may directly impact Themis.”

Not to mention, I’ll be representing Zuo Ran as well… I can’t afford to do anything that might upset the guests; I’ll end up only causing trouble for Zuo Ran.

MC: “Also, what if the other party is a client of Themis… it’ll be a good opportunity to get our firm’s name out there.”

Zuo Ran: “I don’t need to drink to pull clients. Themis isn’t asking that of you, either.”

Zuo Ran smiled gently when he noticed that I was nervous.

Zuo Ran: “All you have to do is be your everyday self. You’re the partner I’ve chosen, let your professionalism sway others for you. Believe in yourself, and trust me.”

He spoke directly and calmly, his words carrying a gentle strength.

MC: “... I understand.”

--- PART 2 ---

▌Location- Banquet Venue

Even with Zuo Ran’s reassuring presence, I felt nervous walking into the venue. I checked out the beautiful hotel decor, and my sights settled on someone who stood out in the crowd.

MC: (Is… Isn’t that Gao ShengHan?)

ChengCheng’s wish popped into mind, I hurriedly pulled out the picture she had handed me earlier so that I could confirm it was really Gao ShengHan.

MC: “It really is Gao ShengHan!”

I accidentally spoke my mind, and Zuo Ran turned around at the sound of my voice.

Zuo Ran: “What is it? Someone you recognize?”

MC: “A-ah, not quite, I just saw someone famous, and I can’t help but feel starstruck.”

Zuo Ran looked over my shoulder, and saw Gao ShengHan. He raised a brow at me.

Zuo Ran: “...”

MC: “Seeing him up close in person, he’s actually quite…”

I turned around as I spoke, and met Zuo Ran’s sharp gaze. He was frowning, searching my face with an expression so strange that I couldn’t even begin to describe it.

Zuo Ran: “You… care about him?”

MC: “I guess so, his recent TV drama is quite popular.”

Zuo Ran quieted, and he glanced at the photo in my hand.

MC: (C-crap… does Lawyer Zuo think I accompanied him just so I can meet celebrities? That’s so unprofessional!)

I quickly shoved the picture of Gao ShengHan back into my clutch, and awkwardly reassured him.

MC: “T-that... Lawyer Zuo! I promise this will not hinder my work! Th-the picture… it’s…”

Zuo Ran: “...”

One of LingXi Watches’s executives approached us and began to discuss the aftermath of their court victory with Zuo Ran, thus I couldn’t finish explaining myself. The case was one that Zuo Ran had worked on all by himself before I had become his work partner. My presence beside Zuo Ran might hinder his discussion, so I quietly left his side.

On the other side of the banquet hall, Gao ShengHan was entertaining a small group of people. ChengCheng’s wish popped up in my mind again, but…

MC: “The people he’s with right now… must be a bunch of hotshots… How can a small-time lawyer such as myself approach the nation’s husband…”

As I stood aside brainstorming ways that I could approach Gao ShengHan, he started walking towards me.

Gao ShengHan: “Hi, I was wondering if you were Lawyer MC?”

MC: “Ah! Yes, I am, nice to meet you. You’ve… heard of me?”

Gao ShengHan: “Of course. You were the one who defended PAX Group's Mr. Lu Jinghe from accusation, right? I followed the news coverage and even watched videos of the trial; it was very exciting.”

MC: “You flatter me. I would’ve never thought that an A-list celebrity such as yourself would pay attention to the subject of law.”

Gao ShengHan: “Ah, actually, I’ve only recently started paying attention.”

MC: “Oh?”

Gao ShengHan smiled and used the topic of the lawsuit to strike up conversation with me. It turned out that he had been cast for an upcoming law drama and was brushing up on a lawyer’s mannerisms, even going as far as to shadow lawyers when they were on the clock. He told me he had reviewed many videos of trials, but there were still things he preferred to talk face to face about with professional lawyers.

Gao ShengHan: “The office drama that just aired was made popular all thanks to the director’s hard work on writing such a phenomenal script. The truth is… my acting is still lacking… I didn’t come from an acting background, so there’s still a lot I have to learn. So I’m hoping that it’ll help if I prepare for the role in advance.”

He spoke with an absolutely charming and boyish determination, but stood firm with a man’s conviction. He was set on chasing his dream of becoming a good actor; it was hard not to like him.

MC: (No wonder ChengCheng likes him so much…)

Gao ShengHan: “Lawyer MC, I was wondering if you would share with me some tips and tricks when it comes to speaking in court?”

I was still working on getting ChengCheng her autograph, and I hastily accepted his request.

MC: “Of course I can! Although it’s been said that facts can triumph over eloquence, in the eyes of the law, it is often that facts will benefit from eloquence. Polishing your debate skills and litigation strategies can get you twice as far, with half the effort.”

Gao ShengHan: “I see, then what about cases with iron-clad evidence, or cases with little to no evidence at all?”

MC: “Then we’ve got to cross-examine whatever they’ve got! A piece of evidence’s authenticity, legitimacy, relevance, and size of the evidence must always be considered and contested.”

That’s how Zuo Ran once dismantled a case with seemingly solid defense.

~~~Flashback~~~

Defendant Xiao Ke was charged with homicide and imprisoned twenty years ago. He escaped after serving his sentence for ten years, and was arrested again after returning home to visit his sickly mother.

Prosecutor: “The prosecutor believes that defendant Xiao Ke’s behavior meets the severity of prison escape. The facts of the crime are clear, and the evidence against him is sufficient.”

Zuo Ran: “On the surface, the defendant’s prison escape is indeed in line with escape crimes. However, I would like to ask the prosecutor, what is the legal benefit infringed by the escape crime?”

Prosecutor: “The interests violated by the escape crime are punishable under the jurisdiction of the normal order of justice.”

Zuo Ran: “Correct, but the defendant’s past prison escape does not violate the normal order of justice, and is rather an incorrect order. The guilty verdict on the count of first-degree homicide twenty years ago was fundamentally a false verdict!”

Prosecutor: “Defendant, I must remind you that the chain of evidence was complete. Both evidence and witness testimony-”

Zuo Ran: “The issue lies within the witness testimony! The time of the incident was 10PM on the eighteenth of February. The witness claimed he saw the defendant Xiao Ke push the victim off the east side of the bridge, resulting in the victim’s death. The witness emphasized that because the skies were clear and the moonlight was bright, he was able to watch the incident’s proceedings very clearly. However, the eighteenth of February was five days after the new moon, thus sufficient light could not have been provided. Secondly, the moon would have risen from the west, making the moonlight shine from west to east. If the suspect had pushed the victim off the east side of the bridge, his face could not have been seen solely by moonlight. Allow me to ask, how could the witness under those conditions see the defendant’s face at the bridgehead twenty meters away?”

One by one, Zuo Ran cross-examined the evidence the prosecutor had provided, tearing into each discrepancy.

~~~Flashback ends~~~

Gao ShengHan: “Th-that’s incredible! Just like that, he managed to overturn the court ruling! But… even if it were a false verdict, it must have been difficult to win a retrial. Although I’m not well versed in law, people have always been unwilling to admit their own mistakes…”

MC: “Well, that…”

Zuo Ran’s statement of defense back then, as a lawyer myself, and as his partner, I shared the glory and triumph of his success.

~~~Flashback~~

Zuo Ran: “The evidence presented by the prosecution for the incident cannot form a complete system of proof. According to the principle of a false verdict, the defendant Xiao Ke’s initial ruling cannot be established, and he was falsely sentenced. Since he was falsely imprisoned to begin with, where is the escape crime? Therefore, the defendant’s prison break, cannot even be labelled as such.”

The jury broke out in a frenzy of discussion after Zuo Ran’s defense. He looked squarely at the jury and spoke again, the sound of his voice quelling the murmurs.

Zuo Ran: “The purpose of upholding the law is not just limited to punishing criminals, but also to protect the rights of those who are innocent. Criminal law must be obliged to not only protect our country from offenders, but also to protect the wrongly accused as well as the prosecutors who put them there. If there does not exist such procedural justice, the upholding of justice itself will be as pointless as water without a source. Then, the dignity of the law will fall apart. The defendant hereby appeals to the court, to uphold the spirit of seeking nothing but the truth, and asks for a reevaluation of the evidence. We ask on the basis of the criminal justice system as the criterion, the defendant be pronounced innocent in accordance with the law.”

~~~Flashback ends~~~

The calm and orderly manner in which Zuo Ran delivers criticism, that is the masterful way in which Zuo Ran works his magic in court. And I think it’s an art, the best speech arts in the world.

Gao ShengHan: “I see! No wonder I felt a sense of Deja Vu when I was watching the trial… After hearing about Lawyer Zuo’s speech-- I can see that you two share similar debate styles!”

MC: “Huh?”

I’ll admit that I’ve picked apart Zuo Ran’s technique and mannerisms in court, trying my best to mimic him when I have spare time, but…

MC: “I’m far from reaching his level.”

Gao ShengHan: “No, I don’t think so. You’re close, very close to his skill level. Especially with the emotional control of the room, the way you conceal your intention behind hidden meanings so that your opponent says what you want them to…”

Gao ShengHan listed notes that he had taken on my style after watching my trial. He analyzed the similarities between our presence in court through the perspective of an actor.

MC: (So to other people, this is what they see?)

I subconsciously scanned the sea of bodies for Zuo Ran’s familiar frame. He was still talking to the LingXi executive, his expression calm and indifferent. Suddenly, he must have felt someone watching as he returned my gaze and looked at me.

MC: “!!!”

I hurriedly turned away. Gao ShengHan didn't notice that I was distracted as he continued rambling.

Gao ShengHan: “Ah, I just remembered, you’re Lawyer Zuo’s partner, right? I’ve heard other people mention that you two are a natural pair…”

~~~

On the other side of the banquet hall, Zuo Ran was still responding to the executive’s incessant questions, but his attention gradually began to slip away to watch a certain corner of the room. There, Gao ShengHan and the girl were talking amiably; they seemed to have hit it off. The girl turned to look at him, then quickly looked away. Just then, a vivid smile blossomed on the girl’s face. Her cheeks were pink, and her eyes were sparkling, almost as if she had confided in the other man a secret that she had held deep in her heart.

Zuo Ran: “...”

Zuo Ran’s gaze narrowed, and he subconsciously itched the palm of his hand.

--- PART 3 ---

▌Location- Banquet hall

After Gao ShengHan and I finished our discussion about debate techniques, he thanked me profusely.

MC: “Ah, it was nothing. Then, Mr. Gao, can I ask you for a favor? It’s like this, er, I have a really good friend…”

I recounted to Gao ShengHan what ChengCheng had said to me in the breakroom, and he happily agreed to sign the photo.

MC: “Thank you so much!”

Gao ShengHan: “You’re very welcome! I should be the one thank you, honestly. Chatting with you has helped me a lot. And I would’ve never guessed that your co-worker has been supporting me ever since I debuted. Ah, aside from the autograph, let me film a shout out too! Would you help me take the video?”

MC: “Of course!”

MC: (Hehe… ChengCheng is going to flip when she sees this!)

I can just picture ChengCheng frothing at the mouth after I bring her the autograph, and a personal video to boot as I quickly pulled out my phone. Gao ShengHan waved enthusiastically at my camera and thanked her for her support and encouragement. After I ended the recording, he suddenly remembered something.

Gao ShengHan: “Actually, Lawyer MC, I’m looking into starting my own studio. If it’s alright, would you help me with the studio’s legal aspect?”

Who knew I’d be the one to find new clients here!

MC: “Thank you for putting your trust with us, I’ll inform Lawyer Zuo in a bit.”

Gao ShengHan: “Then I’ll have to trouble you for that. To commemorate our upcoming collaboration, and to express my thanks for your help earlier, let’s have a toast.”

Gao ShengHan flagged down the server, who brought two flutes of champagne over.

MC: “Then…”

~~~Flashback~~~

Zuo Ran: “Ah, there’s something I have to remind you of.”

Zuo Ran: “There’s going to be all kinds of people at the reception. If anyone tries to force you to accept drinks, you need not go along with them. Immediately come find me if it happens.”

~~~Flashback ends~~~

I looked at the champagne Gao ShengHan expectantly held out to me, and after I recalled Zuo Ran’s advice from earlier, I hesitated a little.

[Select: Don’t decline]

MC: (It doesn’t seem like he’s forcing me to drink with him… Besides, Gao ShengHan did sign the autograph, and he’s looking to collaborate with Themis. It’ll look really bad if I refuse…)

Gao ShengHan: “Lawyer MC?”

MC: “Ah, thank you. A toast, then…”

I didn’t finish my sentence as a hand reached out to grab my wrist, interrupting us. It was Zuo Ran. He walked over to my side, and wordlessly separated Gao ShengHan and I.

Zuo Ran: “Gao ShengHan?”

MC: “Lawyer Zuo?”

Gao ShengHan: “Ah! You’re the famous Barrister Zuo! It’s an honor to meet you in the flesh!”

Gao ShengHan held out his hand for a handshake. Zuo Ran glanced at Gao ShengHan, raised his hand, and shook it very formally.

Zuo Ran: “Ah, pardon my intrusion, Mr. Gao. My partner here doesn’t take well to alcohol, I’ll take the drink in her stead.”

I stood frozen in shock as Zuo Ran plucked my champagne flute out of my hand, touched it against Gao ShengHan’s, and downed the drink. Our chat was cut shortly after Zuo Ran’s interruption. Zuo Ran stayed glued to my side for the rest of the night after that. Perhaps it was due to his naturally imposing aura, but no one else dared to propose a toast to us, and instead, opted to respectfully stick to business talk.

~~~

▌Location- The backseat of a taxi

The rest of the night passed in a blink of an eye. Since Zuo Ran had drunk, I hailed us a taxi. After we clamored into the back, all Zuo Ran said to me was, “We’ll drop you off first,” before falling completely silent. He leaned into the seat as a set of ocean-blue eyes looked out of the cab’s window at the passing city lights, seemingly lost in thought. The neon lights flickered over his face, and all I could see was his somber face light up in shades of blue, pink, green, and yellow. I don’t know why, but Zuo Ran seemed to be quite low-spirited.

MC: (Has he been working too hard? Or maybe the LingXi executives asked difficult questions? If I tell Lawyer Zuo about collaborating with Gao ShengHan’s studio, will it help cheer him up? It definitely will! Afterall, this is such a well known client!)

MC: “Lawyer Zuo, I was talking with Gao ShengHan earlier. He’s planning on building his own studio label. He has a lot of trust for Themis Law Firm, and he wants to hire me to act as the studio’s legal consultant.”

Zuo Ran: “... You want to accept his commission?”

MC: “Yes, afterall civil and commercial law is my strength and-”

Just as I was going to suggest bringing ChengCheng along as an assistant, Zuo Ran interrupted me.

Zuo Ran: “...I’m sorry, let’s pick this up tomorrow. I’d like to rest.”

Zuo Ran closed his eyes and leaned against the headrest. After seeing how tired he looked, I instantly clammed up.

MC: “Al- alright.”

MC: (Lawyer Zuo must be absolutely exhausted…)

I quickly grabbed my phone and turned off the ringer. I didn’t want to disrupt Zuo Ran while he rested. Just then, a notification from ChengCheng popped up. She had sent me a pleading eyes emoji. I smiled at her impatience, and sent Gao ShengHan’s video over to her. As expected, ChengCheng was ecstatic, and my phone buzzed nonstop as she spammed me with countless reaction photos and gifs of Gao ShengHan: him acting cute, showing gratefulness, hearts, and kisses.

MC: (She’s so happy, I don’t think she’ll get any sleep tonight! Today, I’ve learned that Gao ShengHan is truly a man with many expressions. I scrolled through the countless stickers and gifs. Infected by ChengCheng’s bubbly texts, I couldn’t help but smile.)

Zuo Ran: “...Ugh!”

A sigh resounded by my ear. Zuo Ran reached out and grabbed my phone. He glared at me as his brows furrowed into deep lines on his forehead.

MC: “Lawyer Zuo?”

Zuo Ran didn’t respond. Instead, he flopped over on top of me, and I rushed to prop him up. Zuo Ran fell asleep with his head resting on my shoulder, drawing in small rasping breaths with the smell of alcohol hanging onto every breath.

MC: “Lawyer Zuo, are you drunk?”

I quickly told the cab driver to turn around after giving him Zuo Ran’s address.

--- PART 4 ---

After we arrived at Zuo Ran’s condo, he still wasn’t awake. It was a relief that I remembered Zuo Ran’s address and apartment number, I said to myself as I helped him up the elevator and into his home.

▌Location- Zuo Ran’s living room

MC: “Hu… Lawyer Zuo, you’re home…”

I guided him over to his couch, and laid him down.

MC: “Lawyer Zuo, how are you feeling? You… you should rest on the sofa for a bit. Once you feel better, take a hot shower before heading to bed, alright?”

It’s quite late, and I’m worried about Zuo Ran. There’s no way I can stay here to take care of him; all I can do is try and leave him with reassuring words.

Zuo Ran: “Hnng…”

It was a struggle getting him back to his suite, and Zuo Ran’s custommade suit was wrinkled from all the tugging and pulling. He stayed motionless in the position that I had left him in on the couch. I’m guessing he’s all out of strength. His skin was still flushed from the alcohol, his hair a mess atop his head, and his pretty brows were drawn tight in discomfort.

MC: “Lawyer Zuo…”

Zuo Ran: “Water…”

Zuo Ran raised his hand and felt around on the ottoman, knocking several things down in the process.

MC: “I’ll go get it for you! Just stay put, I’ll bring you some warm honey water!”

I hesitated on leaving Zuo Ran alone, but I quickly got up and brought him a mug of honey water. I helped him upright, and held the mug for him as he took tiny sips. I watched as his lips glistened with water; they looked really soft.

MC: “...”

My heart pounded in my chest, and I forced myself to look away. Just then, Zuo Ran must have felt hot, for he started pulling at his tie. But no matter how hard he tugged, the tie wouldn’t give way. He scrunched his brows in frustration.

MC: “Is the tie uncomfortable, Lawyer Zuo?”

He grunted and resumed tugging on his tie.

Zuo Ran: “Take… it off…”

I obeyed, helping Zuo Ran take off his suit jacket, and then attempted to loosen his tie. One minute later…

MC: (H-how do you even take off a tie…)

I struggled with the fabric. I didn’t want to use too much force and risk accidentally choking Zuo Ran. His flushed skin brushed against my fingertips, and I forced myself to banish those risky thoughts. After several failed attempts, his tie remained immaculate, whilst I had already accidentally loosened his shirt collar and several buttons in the process…

MC: (W-what do I do now…)

My mind was mush. My vision blurred, and refused to focus on anything other than Zuo Ran’s neck as his Adam's apple bobbed when he swallowed. His collarbone peeked out from his dress skirt, and I could see the beginning of a plane of hard muscle.

MC: “!!!”

MC: (I should have looked up a tutorial…!)

I fumbled through my clutch to retrieve my phone, and searched up how to remove a tie. I finally loosened the tie after following step by step instructions. I didn’t even have time to let out the breath I was holding as a breathy sigh drifted past my ear.

Zuo Ran: “You…”

I raised my head and looked into his deep blue eyes. Blue like fizzy soda bubbles and hazy in condensation. Blue, like the rolling hills covered by rain and mist south of Yangtze River: faint, warm, and endless.  Only then did I notice how close our faces were - close enough to share our breaths.

Zuo Ran: “...”

I bolted from the sofa, banging my back up against the corner of the ottoman.

MC: “L-l-l- Lawyer Zuo! I-I- I only… The tie couldn’t undo you.. No … N-no, I meant that you couldn’t undo the tie… Since you’re awake now, I should-”

I stammered through an awkward explanation and tried to inch my way closer to the door in an attempt to escape.

Zuo Ran: “Don’t… leave.”

Zuo Ran overtook me in a bound as he grabbed me, pinning me flush against the wall. He looked directly at me as he took ragged and needy gasps of air. The smell of his cedar aftershave and fruity champagne hit me full force as my knees threatened to buckle.

MC: “Lawyer Zuo...?”

Zuo Ran swallowed hard, his voice becoming low and raspy.

Zuo Ran: “Why… I’ve told you, to come find me when you run into trouble. Why did you have to… with him…”

MC: “Him…?”

Zuo Ran’s demeanor and questions left me sweating.

Zuo Ran: “Gao… Sheng… Han...“

MC: “O-oh, him…”

I thought about what Zuo Ran told me in the parking lot, and I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of guilt.

MC: “I’m sorry, Lawyer Zuo... At the time I didn’t feel it was right to refuse him… Mr. Gao had been very kind. He helped me with a favor, and even said that he’ll commission us…”

Zuo Ran: “... Very kind?”

MC: “Yes. Don’t worry, I have boundaries, and I would never drink myself silly with other people that easily. Mr. Gao is a good guy, so I-”

Zuo Ran: “How can you be so certain! You just met him for the first time tonight!”

Zuo Ran’s aura changed in an instant, and it felt like we had been transported back to the courthouse, except I’m now on the receiving end of his scrutiny. In the past, seeing Zuo Ran fired up like this would’ve left me motivated by his passion. But now… I stayed trapped like a deer in the headlights, unsure of whether I should fight or run.

MC: “I…”

Zuo Ran: “Do you always trust others this easily!?”

I couldn’t refute Zuo Ran’s point. He was right, I’ve only just met Gao ShengHan, and I couldn’t possibly know what kind of person he truly was. Still, the Guo ShengHan I met at the banquet who was so hardworking and dedicated to his career, who had wholeheartedly put his faith in Themis… I couldn’t help but speak up for him.

MC: “Just because it was the first time we met, that doesn’t mean one is incapable of judging a person’s character. Mr. Gao is very humble, he’s worked hard to get to where he is today… Even with all the fame and fortune, he’s still very approachable…”

Zuo Ran: “Approachable? What kind of logic is that! He’s an actor, aren’t you wary of the fact that he could be lying to you? You would rather trust his word, over mine…”

Lying … to me??? In the heat of the moment, I forcefully pushed Zuo Ran aside out of frustration. Sure, I might not be close to your level of expertise when it comes to the law, but Zuo Ran, must you belittle me and doubt the fact that I can make my own judgements!

MC: “Zuo Ran, just who do you have a grudge with to say all that?!”

I screamed back at him. The silence in the room was palpable after my outburst as a tense air settled in between us.

Zuo Ran: “...”

He must have been taken aback by my reaction. Zuo Ran was at a loss for words, for once.

MC: “Lawyer Zuo… You’ve had way too much to drink tonight. It’s already so late, I gotta go.”

--- PART 5 ---

▌Location- Outside Zuo Ran’s Condominium

After I left Zuo Ran’s suite, I immediately hailed a taxi and went home. But… half an hour later, I had to turn back.

MC: “I accidentally took Lawyer Zuo’s house keys with me…”

When I was trying to bring him back upstairs, I must have pocketed his keys after I pushed open his door while attempting to hold him upright. And after all that happened, I completely forgot about it until now.

MC: “I gotta hurry, otherwise I’ll cause him even more trouble…”

“He’s lying to you…” Zuo Ran’s words came to mind, and my heart squeezed painfully. Is he unhappy with Gao ShengHan? Or maybe, it was out of line for me to pull new clients for us at the banquet?

~~~

▌Location- Zuo Ran’s living room

I unlocked his door with the keys and tentatively peeked in. Zuo Ran wasn’t in the living room.

MC: (He must be in bed by now… Let’s just put his keys back and get out of here, lest I wake him up…)

I cautiously tiptoed into his living room, and was about to set his keys down on the ottoman. Just then, I nearly tripped over a sprawling mass on the carpet - it was Zuo Ran!

MC: “L- Lawyer Zuo!?”

I hastily helped him off the floor.

MC: “Lawyer Zuo! Are you alright! What’s wrong with you?”

Zuo Ran opened his eyes when I shook him awake. His blurry eyes gradually focused on my face, and once he realized that it was me, he reached out and grabbed my wrist.

Zuo Ran: “MC, you… It’s you…”

MC: “Are you hurt anywhere, Lawyer Zuo? How did you end up on the floor? Are you feeling sick? I’ll go bring you a wet towel so you can wipe your face. Hopefully, that’ll help you feel more comfortable.”

I spoke while getting up in a hurry, but Zuo Ran pulled me back. Without any precaution, I fell into his lap. I could feel his body heat and pulse beneath his skin against the palm of my hands, and I jerked my hands away as if I had been burnt by it.

MC: “M-my apologies, Lawyer Zuo! I-”

A pair of hands pulled me flush against him, interrupting my sentence.

Zuo Ran: “Don’t go… Don’t leave me…”

Zuo Ran rested his chin on my shoulder, his bangs tickling my ears. He embraced me gently, as if he was scared of me rejecting his advance, but just tight enough that I couldn’t move, as if he was scared that I would leave.

MC: “I was only leaving to grab you a towel…”

He held me even tighter, ignoring my protests, and muttering to himself over and over.

Zuo Ran: “Don’t leave me… alright?”

His voice rasped in my ear, cracking in a vulnerable way that fell far from his usual composure. Like a soft and unbreakable thread, he had ensnared me in his web.

Zuo Ran: “I’m sorry… I must’ve scared you… It’s all my fault… I’m sorry… So don’t leave me…”

MC: “I…”

Is he like this because I left earlier?

Zuo Ran: “Don’t go…”

MC: “Go… where exactly?”

Zuo Ran: “Don’t go over to stand by his side…”

MC: “Who?”

Thankfully, my mind grew clearer.

MC: “Is… Is this about Gao ShengHan’s commission?”

Zuo Ran pulled me even tighter against him as his arms caged me in. So that’s the reason. Lawyer Zuo misunderstood my intentions and assumed that I was quitting my job at Themis and was planning to work for Gao ShengHan’s studio. That’s why he threw a fit… He wasn’t truly upset at me… I wanted to laugh, but was also touched by his sentiment. I gently patted his back.

MC: “How could I leave Themis just to chase after some celebrity…”

Zuo Ran: “You’re so bright and outstanding, I’m not the only one… everyone can see it. I’m just someone with a bad temper. As your partner… I must have added extra stress to your work, but I… say that you’ll be my partner forever and always, alright? So don’t leave me…”

MC: “Lawyer Zuo, you’re over thinking things. I have no intentions to leave.”

My words must have brought him some reassurance. He sighed, sinking against me as he rested his head against the crook of my neck, all the while slowly caressing my hair and letting it glide between his fingers. The calm and self assured Zuo Ran I thought I knew… turned out to be someone so delicate and childish. Unless this is just the alcohol talking, and he’s just treating everything that transpired today, including me, like a dream…

[Examine his hand in my hair]

Zuo Ran’s hair keeps brushing up against my ear, it tickles. I wanted to reach up and brush it aside, but I accidentally brushed his cheek.

Zuo Ran: “I… Must be so dull… Celebrities, they must be fun to be around… You’ll be happier with him… Right?

MC: “How could I be…”

Zuo Ran: “You smiled…”

MC: “What’s that?”

Zuo Ran: “You smiled at him… so many times…”

MC: “Well t-that’s because!”

“Because we were praising you to the high heavens”... How could I say something like that aloud to him…

Zuo Ran: “...No need to cover it up, there’s no need to console me…”

His usual indifference fell through the cracks, his voice sounding incredibly lonely. Is he saying all that to make me consider leaving and collaborate with Gao ShengHan instead? I decided it was probably best not to ask him that.

MC: “It’s true! It’s because… W-we… we were talking about Lawyer Zuo…”

Zuo Ran: “Me? What… about me?

MC: (It’s all good… Lawyer Zuo is so stupid drunk… he shouldn’t be able to recall our conversation in the morning…)

MC: “I told him… that Lawyer Zuo is the best… and that I admire you… Gao ShengHan said… no wonder I was your partner… that we were alike… s-so that’s why I-”

I stuttered through an explanation, feeling the embarrassing twinge of red creep up from my cheeks all the way up to my ears. I felt like I was burning up.

[Examine his arm]

I steadied myself as I held onto Zuo Ran’s arm.

MC: “Er… Lawyer Zuo… Why don’t you have a seat on the couch, does that sound good?”

Zuo Ran: “It’s not good… You’ll just leave me…”

MC: “I already said that I wasn’t leaving…”

Zuo Ran: “You’ll leave…”

Zuo Ran ignored me and continued to slur the same thing over and over, almost as if I’d vaporize into thin air if he let me go. His hot breath fanned across my neck, and I hastily tried to move away from it, only to have him tighten his arms around me.

Zuo Ran: “You said you wouldn’t leave…”

His whining was laced with grief, and I couldn’t help but feel as though I had done something evil.

[Examine Zuo Ran’s neck]

His body heat radiated through my thin dress shirt and settled in my bones.

MC: “Lawyer Zuo… do you feel cold, clinging onto me like this…”

Zuo Ran: “Hah… Cold… You’re cold?”

He pulled me into his lap and pressed me against his chest.

Zuo Ran: “You won’t feel cold like this, right?”

MC: “...!”

[Examine his hand in my hair]

Zuo Ran: “Don’t go…”

MC: “For the last time, I really won’t.”

Zuo Ran: “You kept staring at him… The moment we got there, you were looking for him… You… You even have his photo…”

MC: “I- I was only helping ChengCheng get an autograph.”

Zuo Ran: “Then stay by my side…”

MC: “I will. I’ll stay at Themis, I’ll stay at Themis forever. Because I’m Lawyer Zuo’s partner.”

[Talk to Zuo Ran]

With his head on my shoulder, his breathing gradually grew steady.

MC: “Lawyer Zuo?”

Zuo Ran: “You’re my… destiny…”

MC: “Eh?”

Zuo Ran’s voice fell to an inaudible whisper, I couldn’t comprehend anything he was trying to say.

Zuo Ran: “My everything…”

MC: “Lawyer Zuo?”

I called his name, but received no reply. He must have fallen asleep. I helped Zuo Ran onto the couch, gently laid his head down, and covered him with a blanket. He slept so soundly, it was almost as if I were the one who had hallucinated and conjured up all that had happened, like an out of body experience. But the hammering of my heart told me otherwise. I left Zuo Ran’s suite in a hurry.

--- PART 6 ---

▌Location- Themis Law Firm

The day after the banquet, I handed Gao ShengHan’s autograph to ChengCheng who was waiting by the door, and she held up the photo and cheered.

ChengCheng: “MC, you’re the best! I love you!”

MC: “You should save words like that for your idol.”

ChengCheng: “Of course I will say it to him! But, you deserve my love, too!”

ChengCheng hovered around me excitedly, but then, she pushed up her glasses and settled down.

ChengCheng: “Hang on, why are your dark circles so deep! The banquet ended early enough, didn’t it? I remember that you sent me the video recording at around 9PM. Did anything happen afterward? Unless you had too much to drink and didn't rest well?”

MC: “N-nothing like that happened! I just didn’t sleep well, that’s it!”

My heart pittered loudly when last night’s events rushed to mind. I cautiously peeked around the corner at Zuo Ran’s office, and let out a sigh of relief when I saw that it was empty.

MC: (Lawyer Zuo was completely wasted last night, he probably won’t come to work today right… How fortunate… I don’t know how I should approach him now…)

Just as I was lost in thought, ChengCheng nudged me with her elbow.

ChengCheng: “Good morning, Lawyer Zuo!”

Zuo Ran: “Morning.”

Zuo Ran looked at the signed photo in ChengCheng’s hand, coughed awkwardly, then looked at me.

Zuo Ran: “Uhm. Hold on, come see me in my office.”

MC: “Al-alright.”

I watched Zuo Ran walk away, my heart threatening to jump out of my throat as I stood anxiously.

MC: (Why would Lawyer Zuo want to see me… What if he remembers what happened yesterday?!)

~~~Flashback~~~

Zuo Ran: “You smiled at him… so many times…”

MC: “It’s true! It’s because… W-we… we were talking about Lawyer Zuo…”

Zuo Ran: “Me? What… about me?

MC: (It’s all good… Lawyer Zuo is so stupid drunk… he shouldn’t be able to recall our conversation in the morning…)

MC: “I told him… that Lawyer Zuo is the best… and that I admire you… Gao ShengHan said… no wonder I was your partner… that we were alike… s-so that’s why I-”

~~~Flashback ends~~~

▌Location- Zuo Ran’s office

MC: (I’m so embarrassed…)

I begrudgingly followed Zuo Ran into his office, I didn’t dare look at him, so I kept my head down and stared at the corner of his desk instead.

Zuo Ran: “You mentioned last night that Gao ShengHan wished to collaborate with our law firm for legal consultation in regards to his studio. After confirming the details of the commission with the other party, you may proceed with the contracting process. Startups start from zero, labor and management legal services will be a routine task for you. Risk prevention, business forms and contracts, terms and conditions, of the sort… you must meticulously plan, formulate, construct, and maintain them all.”

Zuo Ran’s voice rang true and indifferent like it always had, like we had returned back to status quo.

MC: “...”

Zuo Ran: “Any questions?”

MC: “None.”

My mind was still reeling from last night’s events, and I couldn’t ask him anything even if I wanted to.

Zuo Ran: “Providing legal consultation for a new business will be a good challenge for you. If there’s anything you’re unsure of, feel free to ask me. Ah, also…”

He hesitated before speaking again.

Zuo Ran: “The entertainment industry… is shrouded in gossip and fake news. If you meet the client alone, it may cause unscrupulous articles to spread. If you’re going to meet with the other party… you must tell me- I’ll go with you.”

MC: “Yes, I know.”

Zuo Ran’s indifference was a great relief to me. It seems like he doesn’t recall what happened… After I came down from my personal emotional rollercoaster, I noticed an ounce of regret peeking out in the corner of my heart… and I understood it less than I understood how it got there in the first place.

MC: “Then, if Lawyer Zuo has nothing else to add, I’ll go and get started!”

I hurriedly scampered out of Zuo Ran’s office.

~~~

After watching the girl leave his office, Zuo Ran relaxed and sank into his seat. Like the way a delayed reaction would be, the back of his ears grew red and hot to the touch.

Zuo Ran: “... I’m sorry… I…”

Zuo Ran paused as the blush creeped from his ears to his cheeks, then he pulled out a small hair tie from his suit pocket. This was left by her last night - and was the tangible proof he needed to convince himself that what happened last night wasn’t a dream.

Zuo Ran: “And now… I don’t know how I can return this to you…”

The silky hair tie in his hands felt just like the way her hair had flowed between his fingers.

Zuo Ran: “In the future…”

Zuo Ran coughed lightly as he looked at the hair tie with quiet eyes.

Zuo Ran: “In the future, I’ll definitely return this to you.”

To the beautiful young eagle that spreads her eager wings and takes to the sky, chasing after a life that she yearns for… If she should fly to places further and further away, then all one can do is encompass the entire sky so that she will stay within reach.

——————

《CREDIT》 Translator: @humi-and-co​​ Editor: @hallowsivy​ 《未定事件簿》Tears of Themis is a 2020 Chinese otome game by 米哈游Mihoyo. All original credits go to 米哈游Mihoyo.

《 VOICE ACTORS 》  Zuo Ran | Zhao Lu: https://weibo.com/mzhaolu Zhai Xing | Fan Churong ChengCheng | V-17 Xiao Zheng: https://weibo.com/u/7360058865

#tears of themis #tears of themis translations #otome #未定事件簿 #weiding shijian bu #左然 #tears of themis zuo ran #zuo ran #otome game #otome game translations

[mcheang]

I'm back and with an idea i just had to share with you a fic with Alya knowing Lila was lying but wanted to knock Marinette down because he felt jealous and inferior to Marinette who had talent and headstart to her carreer and celebrity connections (she was still friends with her cuz Mari had a lot of perks )so she has an excuse to lash out her frustration and Mari calls her out saying Mari has been nothing but a good friend and she's been nothing but a bad person bcuz of her insecurites

Jealousy doesn’t become a hero

I very much prefer writing Lila and/or Bustier salt. But I hope this draft satisfies you.

When Volpina had been defeated, Marinette went to check the Ladyblog and was relieved to have found the interview deleted. Adrien must have informed Alya.

Imagine her surprise when Lila kept lying about her time with Achu. Despite her evidence, Alya dismissed it as jealousy.

Um...maybe Lila decided posing as her BFF was a bad idea and asked Alya to take the video down?

When Chameleon came about and was given the most embarrassing defeat of all time, Marinette sat watching Lila give her class a full-detail tall tale about how she rescued (defeated) her.

Then, struck by inspiration, Marinette went back to class, a triumphant air about her, her smirk barely repressed.

Adrien saw but shrugged it off. He figured Marinette realized Lila would get caught sooner or later. He joined her at the back later and soon their old seating arrangement was back.

That night, Alya was surprised when she heard a voice in her bedroom window.

“While I am glad that you don’t run after every akuma now, I hope you still check your sources, Alya.”

Alya turned and beamed. “Ladybug! What’s up? Do you need me for another Mission?”

Ladybug leaned against the wall. “No. I’m here regarding Lila. I’ve been hearing rumors that you posted an interview of her claiming to be my BFF- without checking with me.”

Alya blinked. “Oh. You think I’ve been suckered. Don’t worry, Ladybug, I know Lila’s nothing but a liar.”

Ladybug blinked. “But your interviews?”

Alya nodded and went to open a page on her laptop. She figured one of her classmates must have spread the rumor until it reached Ladybug’s ear (she doesn’t know why Lila was akumatized into Volpina). “I did post her interviews. But do you know how you can control who sees what you post? I made sure those interviews could only be seen by our class. And I have to approve what comments appear on every post. The comments you see are made by our classmates solely, but Lila doesn’t know all that because of their usernames. Like I’m going to ruin my journalistic career for a tabloid post!”

Ladybug blinked again, confused. “But why indulge Lila? Why let her lie to your friends?”

Alya shrugged. “It’s a weird way to make friends, sure. But maybe once Lila realizes how cool we are, she’ll learn she can trust us with the truth.”

Ladybug narrowed her eyes. Manipulating their classmates to serve her food is not a way to make friends. (And dismissing her was not very friendly of Alya either!) “You are lying to me, Alya Césaire.”

Alya started backward, and started to get nervous. Ladybug was the reason her blog was so popular, and her only chance to become a hero. She was the smartest girl in Paris and could see through lies like glass.

Alya had 2 choices. Lie again and be exposed (and never be a hero again or granted interviews), or tell the truth and never be a hero again (but at least Ladybug is more likely to forgive her)

“Fine. I indulge Lila because it’s nice to see someone else in class get the spotlight.”

Ladybug tilted her head. “I’m sure Chloe has been improving.”

Alya shook her head. “No, not her. I mean Marinette.”

Ladybug was shocked. “The bakers’ Daughter?”

Alya wasn’t surprised Ladybug knew Marinette, not when she was the one who arranged her first official interview with Ladybug.

LB: How is she in the spotlight?

Alya sighed. “She’s the most popular girl in class. She gets confessed to on a regular basis. Even my own Boyfriend was interested in her before me. She knows Jagged Stone, which is probably how she knows Lila is lying. Marinette even got her designs praised by Gabriel Agreste and Audrey Bourgeois. Her parents are owners of the most popular bakery in Paris. Clara Nightingale and Adrien Agreste both think she is star material, and worthy of being called Ladybug.”

Alya kept going on, noting that Ladybug’s surprised face wasn’t exactly discouraging her. In fact Marinette was still too stunned to react.

“I just wanted someone else to be in the limelight. And if it couldn’t be me. I’d rather it be anybody else, even a liar.”

Ladybug gathered her thoughts. “So you’re just jealous? That Marinette is popular? But you’re popular too.”

Alya gave a bleak laugh. “Hardly. In class, I’m dismissed as the obsessive and nosy reporter. I don’t know any celebrities and they certainly don’t follow the Ladyblog. More people download apps for akuma alerts and hero sightings than subscribe to my blog. I’ve been dismissed for proposing crazy theories, which in hindsight is reasonable.”

LB: I’m assuming you didn’t tell Marinette you know Lila is lying because of that.

AC: Obviously. Because then I’d have to back her up and she would be the hero again. I used the excuse that she was jealous, and she was. But I knew Marinette is above jealousy. It’s annoyingly. She was ready to give Adrien up to an ice queen.

LB wrinkled her eyebrows, drawing on her professionalism and burying her own hurt for later. “If you are upset by Marinette’s success and annoyed by her attitude, why befriend her?”

AS: Because of her connections! Thanks to her, I got to star in Clara’s music video. She somehow got you to agree to do an interview with me. I persuaded her to take over as class president so I didn’t have to do the real work and Chloe wouldn’t be in charge anymore. She gives me free custom designed clothing. And no offence to my mum, but Marinette’s pastries are the best breakfast in the world.

Ladybug finally stood up tall. Alya had been so lost in the relief and satisfaction of finally venting out her jealousy and frustration that she had momentarily forgotten that her listener in the shadows was a very influential idol whom she wanted to make a good impression on.

Ladybug said coldly, “From what you are saying, it sounds like Marinette has been a better Friend that you have ever been. You are as bad as Lila Rossi. You lie for your own gain. And if there’s one thing I despise above all else, Miss Césaire, it’s liars.”

As Ladybug launched her Yoyo out, Alya rushed to make her plea. “Wait! Please wait! I’m sorry!”

LB: No, you’re only sorry you got caught.

ALya cried out, “what can I do to make it up to you?”

Ladybug gave her one last impassive look. “For starters, I’d say tell the truth. To everyone.”

Ladybug left Alya in horrified and torn silence.

As Ladybug returned home, she detransformed and wept on her balcony, amid the perfume of flowers. She could finally face the betrayal and sadness she had kept away in front of Alya.

Tikki sadly cozied up to Marinette’s neck, trying to offer comfort.

Hawkmoth was alerted by a teenager’s despair, agony and betrayal.

Hawkmoth: Hooray, I get to akumatize Marinette after all!

He doesn’t. Adrien saw Ladybug outside and went out to join her. As he searched for Ladybug, he saw the akuma heading for a weeping Marinette.

“Marinette, move!”

Marinette looked up in surprise (Tikki quickly hid among the flowers) “Chat?”

“Cataclysm!” He destroyed the butterfly in front of her face.

Marinette gasped.

Chat quickly steadied himself on the balcony. “Marinette, are you alright? What’s wrong?”

Because she was definitely not alright. Those were tear tracks on her face. Chat felt sad that his princess was sad, and wanted to rip out the face of whoever made her cry.

Marinette shook her head. “It’s nothing I can’t handle.”

Chat was doubtful. An akuma appeared. Clearly she couldn’t handle it. “Are you sure? I’m here for you, you know.”

Marinette finally burst into sobs. She leaped into Chat’s arms. Chat held her close as she confessed the source of her troubles.

“I just learned that Alya wasn’t really my Friend at all. She was just using me.”

Chat was confused. What was she talking about?

Marinette saw his confusion and explained. “I was the one who told Ladybug about Lila first. She got mad and went to confront Lila, i assume that got her akumatized. When Lila got akumatized again today, Ladybug went to visit Alya to make sure she knew Lila was a liar.”

Ok...Chat guessed that explained Marinette’s attitude just before lunch ended.

“And it turns out Alya knew Lila was a liar all along. She never really posted her interviews to the public. She’s just been indulging Lila because she wanted to knock me down.”

Chat was shocked. “And Ladybug told you all this?”

Marinette let out a bark of laughter. “She didn’t have to. I heard Alya myself. I was near her bedroom door when I heard voices saying my name. Once I heard what Alya had to say about me, I didn’t bother knocking or to announce myself. I doubt Nora would bother mentioning me since she was preoccupied with the twins and her parents weren’t home.”

Chat guessed Marinette had new evidence that Lila was a liar and wanted to show it to Alya. But instead she happened to hear a conversation that revealed Alya’s true colours.

Marinette wiped her cheeks bitterly. “She did everything today willingly. She left me to sit in the back alone, without consulting me. She dismissed me and accused me of being jealous. All along, she was the jealous one, and I actually thought she was my Friend!”

Marinette buried her face in her hands.

Chat rubbed Marinette’s back consolingly. “Cheer up princess. You still have the rest of your friends, and me.”

Marinette sniffled. This was not comforting to her. Her friends weren’t much better. And she didn’t see Chat regularly.

Chat sensed he was failing at comforting her and tried again. “So what are you going to do tomorrow. Will you confront Alya?”

“I don’t know. I sit next to her and she is the first person I talk to every morning at school. But I can’t see her face without wanting to shout Liar now. And if I do, she’ll just turn the whole thing against me, like Lila did. (Lila did what now?) I don’t know what to do.”

Chat’s heart broke at how lost Marinette sounded. He tiled her chin up so she would look at him.

“Tell you what, princess. Tomorrow, you are going to walk with your back straight and head proud into that classroom. You are going to give Alya Césaire a polite greeting and ignore her. Talk to your other classmates. Listen to music. Write in your notebooks. Revise old lessons. Do whatever. But don’t give Alya the time of day until you are ready to face her.”

The next day, Adrien was prepared. He ignored Lila and gave a confused and sad Alya the cold shoulder.

When Marinette arrived, Adrien was all sunshine and immediately invited her to a conversation.

Marinette gratefully accepted. And though she stumbled, she kept Chat’s advice and ignored Alya’s nudges and comments.

They kept talking until class started. The girls were thrilled to see progress.

Throughout the first half of the school day, Alya kept trying to talk to Marinette or slip her notes. Marinette ignored her.

Alya guessed what had happened and braced herself. She had to tell the truth. She didn’t want to know what Ladybug would do otherwise if she didn’t.

When Lunch came and Adrien invited him to join her; Alya firmly grabbed Marinette’s hand and said in a low voice. “I need to talk to you. Now.”

Marinette reluctantly followed. Unbeknownst to her, Adrien and Lila decided to eavesdrop, for different reasons. Adrien wanted to be there for Marinette and Lila wanted dirt.

In a deserted classroom, Alya finally said the words. “Ladybug told you about last night, didn’t she?”

Marinette’s answer was vague. “She didn’t have to. But she did give me a brief warning this morning. I connected the dots on my own.”

Alya laughed bitterly. “Of course, even Ladybug chooses you over me.”

Marinette stayed silent, waiting for Alya to continue.

“Let me be clear, Marinette. I’m only being honest because of Ladybug. I’ve only been your Friend because of what you do for me.”

Even though Marinette was expected it, it still hurt. Thankfully, her only controlled response was an audible exhale.

Adrien: How could you Alya?

Lila: oh snap!

“I know Lila’s lying but I indulged her because I wanted someone else to take the stage instead of you.”

Lila: she knows?

Marinette raised a brow. “Even at the risk of your blog’s reputation?”

“The interview is only seen by our class. The public can’t access it.”

Lila fumed. She had been played. Alya had used her instead of the other way around. Silently, Lila brought out her phone to record the conversation. Despite Adrien shaking his head, Lila glared at him, daring him to lecture her now.

Lila got the whole juicy bit. Alya admitted what she was jealous about, her betrayal to Marinette. And at the end of it, Marinette was still composed. Adrien had to admire her for it, standing strong in the face of such betrayal.

Marinette: you did all of that just to hurt me? Out of petty jealousy? That you accused me of envy- you resented me that much? and you only used me for free stuff and have been my friend when it's convenient? (This was part of the request) you know, I actually felt hurt that you were just taking advantage of me Alya. But now I just feel sorry for you. Some people like Chloe and Adrien are lucky, they are born with opportunities we can only dream of. But the rest of us, like Nathaniel, like Kitty Section, like myself. We work hard. Sure we have help from our friends, but we never take advantage of them. We have struggled and yes, we do face setbacks, but throughout it all, we have stayed true to ourselves. But you, the moment you see someone thriving, you don’t focus on improving yourself, you just try to leech off that person, like you did to Lila, and like you did to me. You can’t think of safer methods to record akuma fights. You never listen to anyone’s reasoning and criticism of your theories. You are stuck in your own entitled world, that you can’t see the bigger picture. You’re a parasite, Alya Césaire. So...I won’t expose you, because I have no doubt you’ll turn everyone against me. But I won’t be your Friend anymore.”

Alya wasn’t bothered. “Fine. So we agree to never speak to each other again unless necessary?”

“Yes.” Marinette walked out first. Adrien and Lila scattered before she could open the door.

Adrien immediately went to grab Marinette for lunch and did all he could to distract her from her recent ordeal.

Meanwhile, Lila edited the video to avoid incriminating herself and sent it to the class group chat.

She hates Marinette sure, but no one plays Lila for a fool and gets away with it.

The class is shocked and angry at Alya, who tries to claim that Lila is lying. She runs away from the mob and returns as Lady Wifi to punish Lila.

Ladybug defeats her but Alya demands a question if Ladybug is friends with Lila. Feeling sorry for Alya, Ladybug announces that her only Best Friend is Chat Noir. She does not befriend civilians.

Alya is sentenced to switch seats with Nathaniel. Adrien takes her place as Deputy. Nino dumps Alya. Lila and her new desk mate keep sabotaging each other.

#miraculous ladybug fanfic #miraculous ladybug fic #ml fanfic #ml fanfiction #ml fic #miraculous ladybug fanfiction #adrienette #marichat #lila karma #lila is exposed #lila salt #lila gets exposed #ml salt fic #alya salt

[calacuspr]

Calacus Weekly Hit & Miss – Simone Biles & Rassie Erasmus

Every Monday we look at the best and worst communicators in the sports world from the previous week.

HIT – SIMONE BILES

Simone Biles has been the superstar of gymnastics - if not female sport - since she burst into global consciousness by winning four gold medals at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games.

With 19 world championship gold medals as well to her name at the tender age of 24, expectations were high at Tokyo 2020.

Not content with leading the world in gymnastics, Biles showed remarkable strength from one so young by putting her mental health ahead of the attention and anticipation of her performances at this year’s Olympic Games.

After pulling out of the women's gymnastics team final. Biles explained: “I have to focus on my mental health. I just think mental health is more prevalent in sports right now.

"We have to protect our minds and our bodies and not just go out and do what the world wants us to do.

"I don't trust myself as much anymore. Maybe it's getting older. There were a couple of days when everybody tweets you and you feel the weight of the world.

"We're not just athletes. We're people at the end of the day and sometimes you just have to step back.”

The Olympic Games may be one of the biggest stages in world sport, but Biles showed remarkable poise to withdraw given her unofficial role as the symbol of Team USA.

It is further proof, if proof were needed, that sports stars now feel empowered to stand up, not only for social justice but also for themselves, as we saw with Naomi Osaka withdrawing from the French Open in much the same way earlier this year.

Michael Phelps, himself an Olympic phenomenon, defended Biles after previously revealing his own struggles with depression. He said: “This is an opportunity for all of us to really learn more about mental health, to all help each other out.

"For me, I want people to be able to have somebody that can support them, who’s non-judgmental and who’s willing to hold space. There’s a lot that we can do to help one another and we have to start. We can’t brush it under the rug anymore.”

Biles, remember, has spoken out about the sexual abuse she and many others faced at the hands of the former U.S.A. Gymnastics doctor Lawrence G. Nassar and the devastating effect it has had on her life.

She has also spoken out about racism, which she has encountered in life and in gymnastics competition; She said: “It happens every day, and I feel like every Black athlete or colored athlete can say that they've experienced it through their career.”

Biles has had to watch as her brother Tevin Biles-Thomas was accused and then recently acquitted of 15 charges including murder related to an incident three years ago.

The gymnast later withdrew from the final individual all-round competition, with USA Gymnastics stating: “We wholeheartedly support Simone’s decision and applaud her bravery in prioritizing her well-being. Her courage shows, yet again, why she is a role model for so many.”

There have been accusations that she let down her team by walking away, that she displayed an appetite for ‘losing, quitting and failure’ rather than seeing the bigger picture of fighting through adversity.

American conservative activist Charlie Kirk was also quick to criticise, saying: "We are raising a generation of weak people like Simone Biles. If she's got all these mental health problems: don't show up."

“She's probably the greatest gymnast of all time. She's also very selfish, she's immature and she's a shame to the country."

Those opinions were echoed by other right-wing activists and yet US newspapers such as USA Today called Biles’ decision “important” and a “powerful message.”

The New York Times lauded the 24-year-old for putting her “mental health first and the expectations of others, at best, second” and after Biles spoke about the mental exhaustion endemic to being the best, the Washington Post asked, “What are we doing, breaking our athletes?”

Mental health organisations such as The Rethink Mental Illness charity praised Biles and said: “Everyone needs to prioritise their mental health, even the best athletes in the world.

“Simone Biles’s decision to withdraw from an Olympics final will not have been taken lightly, and it’s great to see the support she received from her teammates.”

Mind also congratulated Biles on her bravery and posted on Twitter: “Working in elite sports like gymnastics comes with unimaginably high levels of pressure, perfectionism, scrutiny, and comparison. Simone Biles is incredibly brave for speaking out, and highlighting the importance of looking after your mental heath.

“Simone is a role model for women and girls everywhere. She deserves our applause, respect, appreciation – and above all our support right now.”

MISS – RASSIE ERASMUS

Rugby union prides itself on respect and one of the most fundamental aspects of game is based on how referees are treated.

It’s common law within the sport that players and coaches accept refereeing judgments without abusive disagreement but in recent times, the game has been caught up in controversy due to reactions over refereeing decisions.

During the 2021 British and Irish Lions and South Africa test series, South Africa head coach Rassie Erasmus has taken the disrespect of officials to a whole new level, as he openly criticised the officiating of the first test match between the two sides.

In an hour-long video, Erasmus let out his fury towards Australian referee Nick Berry in which he analysed 26 clips from the game of incidents which he believed were blatant mistakes.

In the video, he said: "It's comical the respect the [officials] showed towards the South African players compared to the Lions players.

"Let the Springboks and the Lions have an equal chance on the field when it comes to laws, respect, the way players are treated, what is said in the coaches' pre-match meeting with the referees, how they give feedback post-match and how things are said in the media.

"When Siya [Kolisi] spoke to the referee and when Alun Wyn [Jones] spoke to the referee, I just felt the reactions on how they treated both those players, there was a vast difference between who he was taking serious and who he wasn't taking serious."

Erasmus ends the video by saying that he recorded the video “in my personal capacity, and not as part of the Springboks”, even offering to quit his position for the remainder of the series.

But when you’re the head coach of the world champions in any sport, let alone rugby union, recording a video criticising a referee is entirely inappropriate.

Despite his claims that neither Nick Berry nor World Rugby provided feedback on the officiating during the first test, Erasmus raised his complaints in a totally unprofessional manner.

In response to the video, Rugby Australia defended Nick Berry and deemed the comments from Erasmus as "unacceptable", while World Rugby reacted by saying they would be taking up the matter with the South African Rugby Union.

Erasmus has never been afraid to speak out, but his comments towards referees has cast a shadow over the already disrupted Lions Tour in South Africa.

In the week running up to the first test, Erasmus refused to disassociate himself from a burner Twitter account named “Jaco Johan”, which carries video clips of controversial refereeing incidents for the previous games of the tour.

“When something makes sense to me I like to retweet it,” Erasmus said. “If you do analyse the things that he is supposed to see, then you are actually spot on with the integrity of the game.”

It’s also not the first time that the Springbok head coach has been caught up in controversy regarding the officiating in rugby.

Back in 2019, the then New Zealand head coach Steve Hansen accused Erasmus of trying to pressure referees into preferential treatment towards his team, after the South Africa boss suggested that the All Blacks had for years received soft officiating during matches.

Debate surrounding refereeing decisions has been a constant theme of the Lions series, with the tourists also raising concerns regarding the appointment of a South African television match official in the first game.

With South Africa going on to claim victory in the second Test, Erasmus could claim that his mind games paid off, especially considering several decisions went the Springboks' way.

Regardless, raising concerns about refereeing in rugby should be done in a respectful manner and in that regard, Erasmus missed the mark completely during the 2021 Lions tour.

#Tokyo Olympic Games #Tokyo 2020 #olympics #mental health #Simone Biles #Team USA #USOPC #USA gymnastics #Larry Nassar #Michael Phelps #New York Times #Rassie Erasmus #Springboks #British and Irish Lions #Siya Kolisi #World Rugby #Rugby Australia #Conor Murray

[meltalks]

my experience with addy / hiqey

i’ve contemplated posting my history with addy/hiqey for awhile now. my friends have encouraged me to do so, but due to her stance in the rpc i was always far too scared to do so. with all that is coming to light with her recently, not only is a huge weight off my shoulders as far as comfortably roleplaying as my escape, but knowing i’m not alone. my story with addy dates back to about september 2018. i do warn you this will be long, and i’ll try to include enough details to make it make sense while not dragging things on and on. this includes both my personal relationship with addy, as well as my experience with her in groups one where she she was an admin, and groups where i was an admin. as well as i believe we coadmined one together. i’ve put screenshots where i could, but some of this dates back to 2018 and i just don’t have access to those texts/rp accounts anymore.

a huge huge shout out to @bumkeyz for starting this avalanche, and for also supporting me one on one along with all my friends to feel safe enough to come forward. i’ll put all of my story under a read more. 

i’m going to start this by saying, my name is mel/melanie. you may have heard of me because back when addy was on rpslayed she wasn’t a big fan of me for awhile. predominantly my group the cape(?) the main isn’t up anymore so i can’t remember the exact @. i’m 21 years old, i will be 22 this month. i am married & i have a 3 year old daughter. this is information i don’t normally tell people i’m married / have a child, because well, i just feel a little judged. not because anything anyone has specifically done or said, but my own anxieties worried that people will think it’s weird to be married with a child and still in twitter rp. but it is important to my story with addy, which is why i’m letting everyone know right off the bat. 

i met addy in a group called producers. this group is from september 2018, so i’m not able to access anything right now, but am digging. i played (feel free to clown me) a g-eazy character named pierce. addy played a carlson young who’s name i can’t quite recall, and a gracie abrams named lolly. lolly & pierce became friends first & at some point we exchanged phone numbers. lolly & pierce flirted a lot, pierce was a player yada yada. eventually she ended up getting a different ship on lolly & pushed her carlson young onto pierce. pierce had a different love interest & didn’t end up going for her. this should’ve been the first negative sign/red flag. when pierce didn’t get with her character, she got very short & snarky ic and ooc. i believe both of her characters blocked me ic. even though pierce had made no ic promises to either to not be with someone else. we still maintained some level of friendship, but she was extremely weird about when i mentioned my ship. our friendship ended for a few months because of an incident that started ic between me and another character. the mun who played this character and i had bonded ooc over having been pregnant, we talked somewhat often about her dealings with her pregnancy. so i felt close enough/friendly enough with this mun that when something happened with her character & another character ic i dm’ed her to see if she was ok .long story short it went bad. i texted addy and told her that. i explained that i felt as if this mun & i were close and it was like dm’ing a friend. she held onto the fact that i shouldn’t have messaged her. when i didn’t immediately conform to her thought she kicked me out of the group. i was literally devastated. i loved that group, that character, my ship; all of it. she blocked me. though this story is 2 paragraphs long, it’s minor in the grand scheme of things. after this she smeared me on rpslayed for months until our paths crossed again in a group called glitches/glitch? we decided to squash our beef. this was december 2019.

in december 2019 we became friends again. honestly, i wish we never crossed paths. we got very close right away. she started telling me about a bad friendship she had, with someone we mutually knew from producers who i will not name since it’s not my place to put their name in this, and gained my sympathy. so much so that i ended a friendship with that person based solely on accusations that addy had told me. this is something that i can now realize i did wrong. i literally cussed this person out on the phone, solely based off things addy told me. i didn’t listen to someone who had been my friend for months, who defended me and picked me up when addy was tearing me down on rpslayed. i turned my back because addy convinced me to. she made this person seem awful. and again, i’m not naming them, but they know exactly who they are. and when thy do read this, i’m sorry.

now this is where things get out of hand. addy & i begun an intimate relationship. this is very personal, and i know some may pass judgment. but my husband was cool with it. addy also began talking to my husband, they texted. we had a groupchat. not to get into details about the relationship, but it was romantic. i am going to try and organize my thoughts. into themes.

money

this relationship lasted from about january ish to april romantically. i became addy’s crutch. she began going through personal issues with her family. and i started sending her money. to be frank i don’t remember how it started. i helped her with a job search, supporting her through these tough things that were going on. the money started casually i suppose. it was $10 for lunch. $25 for nails. but then it got worse. i bought her a phone. and slowly she grew more entitled to my money. asking for it. demanding it. guilting me when i didn’t give it. i lied to her and told her i lost my credit card and turned it off, but the guilt i had i told her that i could turn it on when she needed it. in screenshots i will post below she guilted me because i was sick and fell asleep before turning my card on. whether what she’s saying occured is true or not, it was just one example of how she made me feel. at one point she had my credit card on her uber, and charged nearly $400 of ubers on my credit card that i didn’t know about. she claimed it was an accident, because i let her put my card on her account under the agreement that she would turn it off. we had an agreement of what she would pay me back, some things that i got her were gifts and i didn’t want/need back. other things it was always an agreement she would pay me back. however whenever i would mention sending me a payment she had an excuse. one time even guilting me by reminding me how much better i have it than she does. all in all i spent / sent upwards of $2500/$3000 on her. only about $1500/$1800 i wanted back. i never saw a dime back, she never made good on her promises. at some point i gave up on asking.

ETA: as far as the uber situation goes, she did apologize and state that it was never on purpose when i found out that there was nearly $500 in charges. she said she thought she was charging her moms card. this shows a photo of 1 page of a 5 page statement of all the transactions put on my card by her in one month. there are only 6 of these transactions that were me. all of the ubers and venmo were her. i didn’t make her take off my card, which in hindsight was obviously a very bad decision. i just didn’t want to leave her stranded without ways to get home/where she needed to be. 

this is her demanding money. this was in the summer. at this point i was so manipulated by her/scared of her/scared of losing her that i didn’t know how to say no. in this instance i deflected with a picture of my child. screen shot.

in the screenshots here, this is where i fell asleep. i was on vacation and got extremely dehydrated in the sun. i literally felt so sick and she made me feel guilty for falling asleep. X X X 

this screenshot shows one of the times i actually asked her when she would repay me. at this point my credit card was nearly maxed out from ubers and sending her money. i was anxious about it and she made me feel bad for asking because her situation was worse than mine. this was the same day she asked me for $250 for a down payment on her car. X asking for money. X making me feel bad for asking when she’s gonna pay.

literally to this day im still in credit card debt because of this. yes i make good money, yes my husband does too. but credit card debt is hard and everyone knows it. i do fine for myself, but i don’t have hundreds extra to pay this down. 

also, i cannot locate the bank screenshot. but as recent as this february, six months since she spoke to me, she still had my card on her uber and usted it again. i can’t find the screenshot of the actual of the bank transaction because i’ve completely had to close that account for fraud and transfer my balance to a new card. but here is a screenshot from february 12 where i tell my friends i caught her doing it. X .

manipulation in groups/related to groups

orbis. i ran a group called orbis, it was a reality show group. addy was one of my friends who really wanted me to open it. all of my groups i’ve adminned i’m the lead. i just always take on that roll so i do get very busy with them on top of my real life. i work full time and i’m a mom so i spread myself thin.she made me feel really guilty for this, saying i wasn’t giving her enough time, she wasn’t anyones dog. so i posted my unfollow. then she told me i was stupid for doing that. so i deleted my unfollow. then she said that me deleting my unfollow showed that i didn’t really care how she felt. screens. X X

lumeer. very similar situation to above. only this time i left the group completely for about 3 weeks. i called my coadmin crying about what she was doing to me, sent her the psds and templates for grpahics and left fully, though i helped them out if issues arose/they needed anything. 

impulse. this was recently and this got brought to the tags. im going to copy & paste what i sent to bumkeyz as far as the story goes for what happened.

“ what happened in impulse is only one of several examples of addy being awful in groups i've adminned. this goes back to our friendship but specifically here's what happened in impulse. addy played a character named briar, the other characters involved were as mentioned in other posts loki & khalil (fai fc). one of he first days of the group khalil hooked up with both loki & briar. when the "updates" account posted about loki & khalil's hook up (we posted any and all plot drops that were sent in, it was a reality show so we consistently updated what the cameras caught), briar got upset on main. addy then messaged khalil's mun ooc and asked for the plot to be erased. essentially because she didn't like that khalil had hooked up with both her and another girl in the same day/same manor. as odd of a request as i was the khalil mun agreed to wipe it & asked that if there was anything that ever came up again that made addy uncomfortable to please not hesitate to dm. addy then softblocked khalil. which is strange. why soft block with briar's reason to dislike khalil has been wiped? that night addy posted on her personal tumblr hiqey "i forgot all fai khadra fcs are weirdos" or soemthing along that line. the khalil mun reasonably got uncomfortable with that, but was softblocked & didn't tell the main. they just ignored it since their characters weren't interacting now. for the next few days addy continued to shade khalil and loki on main, despite any ic reason for disliking them being wiped. loki then approached briar IN CHARACTER asking what was wrong/why she was shading/why they didn't like her. i don't know all the details of that conversation, but i know it ended with loki saying she was going to block briar & briar saying that was fine. bear in mind the admins had no idea any of this was happening at this point. addy then dmed the main, playing victim. after more shading of khalil, khalil's mun decided to block briar as well. addy despite wiping this plot and having 0 ic communication with khalil continued to shade the characters ic. so addy dmed the main playing innocent. asking for us to have them unblock, saying she had no idea why they blocked or what she did. as admins we had no idea why either, figured it was something ic so we dmed both muns. khalil's mun agreed after some hestiation, and asked if they had to follow her and i said no. they didn't elaborate. loki's mun however refused, & i'm glad she did because she told us what was going on. of course once we were told everyting we didn't make her unblock. up until we told addy that we were not going to make those muns unblock her, she was extremely sweet to us. she praised us on her rpt. said she loved the group. fed the main compliments. but when she didn't get her way out of us, and was essentially told on, she started causing issues on the timeline with different characters. she sent us a dm on the main telling us to "learn how to handle your group melanie" and deactivated before i could get a chance to reply. “

what i didn’t tell bumkeyz is that deejay/rpslayed played khalil. another example of addy’s manipulation is that when she saw deejay getting anons she followed deejay and texted her after several months of no communication, starting to tell her side of the story and play innocent -- not knowing that deejay was the person who was behind khalil the entire time. she made khalil out to be the bad guy, not knowing that it was deejay. after finding out deejay and i were friends, when deejay posted on rpslayed for people to follow me shortly after trying to get deejay on her side, addy blocked us both (again). 

manipulation between friends (?)

i don’t really know a great way to title this, but this is similar to the situation i mentioned with the unnamed person above -- how addy made me think that person was the worst so i would stop being friends with them. this is a few more examples of that.

the entire time i was friends with addy, she told me that deejay hated me. she told me that deejay was convinced that i was this person who tried to get her kicked out of a group. she told me that she did her very best to convince deejay that it wasn’t true, but no matter what she did deejay just hated me. nearly a year later deejay and i cross paths in a group. we started talking ooc and i mentioned this. i asked her why she thought that was me. we found out that basically, while addy was telling me she was trying to convince deejay it wasn’t me, she was telling deejay that it was me. she would also tell me personal information about deejay that i had no business knowing, whether it be real life information or just telling me the groups deejay adminned when she knew deejay didn’t want anyone knowing. 

i have found out recently that addy has recently been telling people a lie about when she came to visit me. on one evening when she visited me in june of 2019, we went to my friend’s house. we both drank, and smoked. i am someone who neither drinks nor smokes, and i got a very bad mix from it. my anxiety sky rocketed. i was crying on my friends couch practically paralyzed. i didn’t want to move. i felt sick. i felt scared. my friends were going to drive us back to my house and shortly before we were about to walk out addy said she needed to go to the hospital. my friend’s boyfriend drove her there, and when he came back they took me home. this night is very blurry for me. i remember barely being able to see straight, my friend helped me walk to and from the car. addy has told her friends that i refused to pick her up from the hospital that night, and i’ve now heard this from two of her close friends. when in reality, i was so far gone that not only was i sick and scared, but i couldn’t see straight. i had absolutely no ability to be behind a wheel. i’m not surprised she twisted this against me.

i provided a few people screenshots where addy was telling me to block them/trying to convince me that they were awful and hurting me. at the same time that addy was telling me this, she was doing the opposite to them -- to keep us apart. i believe this is some sort of power. always wanting to be everyones number one.

i don’t have a lot of screenshots for this, so i won’t go into much detail, but i can say on more than one occasion, or more than five or ten she told me who to and not to be friends with. told me to block people who had been our friends who were no longer friends with her. 

flat out manipulation.

i don’t want to go back through my texts too much honestly. it’s still a sore spot. it still sucks and it still hurts. but i think anyone and everyone involved with addy at some point or another has similar stories about the way she treats her friends. there were points where i begged. begged and begged her not to leave me. i can’t even count how many times she blocked and unblocked me. how many times she made me feel the worst and then came back. she came back because she knw i was there. and that my generosity was practically endless. i couldn’t say no to her, frankly i can’t say no to anyone. if anyone dmed me today and said hey i need $15 for a ride home. i’d probably send it. that’s just how i am. addy completely had me wrapped around her finger. to the point that i left friends who were good to me. i left my own groups i worked hard on. i nearly ended my engagement (which cannot be entirely blamed on her, but the relationship she and i had was built off lots of manipulation). i know that i could go find 100 screenshots and texts of her manipulating me but honest i just don’t want to do that to myself again. she has made me out to be the villain to anyone she can. i have had 2 different people tell me that she told them i say the n word, which is the furthest thing from the truth. i fear the things she’s said about me to people. if she can 100% make something up, what can she twist from actual arguments or issues we had? 

i know this sounds like a lot of rambling for nothing. but for nearly two years i’ve lived in fear in the rpc of addy. less so when we were friends. i’ve feared telling my side because i felt invalid. frankly even as i type this im scared. scared she’s already convinced everyone i’m awful and no one will read this or care. i just am thankful that this finally came to light. i am glad that i won’t feel scared anymore. roleplay is my one place to be free. as a mother, a full time worker, i don’t have a lot of time for hobby’s and frankly i don’t have a lot of them. i don’t draw, or read. i like to write. and i’m just thankful this can finally be lifted off me.

#twitter rp #rpt #rpc #rph #addy tw #hiqey