#and we have a lot more info on it and how reciprocal it was
Note
How do you think Augustus felt about Livia?
It's a bit hard to parse out how the man felt about anyone, just because he controlled his image so tightly that nobody ever publicly saw anything he didn't want them to see, save for some very rare exceptions (ex: Augustus is recorded as having become publicly emotional three times in his entire public life, and two out of those three were very likely deliberate performances meant to engender a specific response, though one of them was definitely just spontaneous emotion). And with the added caveat that trying to ascribe feelings to historical figures can be very tough because those involve private thoughts that we are just not historically privy to, especially during the Antiquity where we're just missing so many records, I think it's fair to say that there was some kind of love there.
There's a lot of misconceptions around their relationship because Augustus and Livia just have very negative public reputations (Augustus just due to the popularity of Antony and Cleopatra as a couple, which means that most stories of this time are about them, slotting him into the role of antagonist or even outright villain in contrast to them as protagonists; Livia due to the popularity of stories like I, Claudius, which painted her as a scheming manipulator and burgeoned outward from there) that sees them both as people who didn't care about anyone, let alone possibly each other, and were in this relationship purely for opportunism and power. That's not to say that they didn't care about the power or opportunities the match would have afforded both of them, they clearly did; I've never bought into the legend that Octavian fell in love with Livia at first sight because nothing I've read about the guy, Mr. "hasten slowly" himself, shows someone who made snap judgments without thought. Octavian had prestige from his relationship to Caesar, and his family was influential in their Roman suburb, but he didn't have the patrician family roots that Livia did, and marrying her would have given him additional prestige to really solidify power. For Livia's part, her family was on the downward spiral after having repeatedly been on the wrong side in recent wars (her father fought for Brutus and Cassius, her first husband routinely was opposed to Augustus not just at Philippi but also during Fulvia's War and my beloved Siege of Perusia as well as siding with Sextus Pompey when he opposed Octavian), and allying herself instead with someone who was shoring up massive amounts of power and influence in his own right would have been hugely beneficial for her and her children. There was absolutely a calculus that went into this relationship and in figuring out what both parties could bring to the table to make the marriage viable against some not great optics, like Livia already being pregnant by her first husband and Octavian getting ready to break his alliance to Sextus by divorcing Scribonia (literally on the day she gave birth to Julia, my man you couldn't have waited a day?).
But I don't think that means that there wasn't any feeling there. For one, again, there were some bad optics involved as well as changes in alliances, and Livia definitely needed Octavian more than he needed her; he could have absolutely found some other patrician woman to boost up his pedigree by association rather than one from a family that had constantly opposed him. I wouldn't be shocked if there had been some emotion behind choosing Livia specifically, that when they met (sources say she was personally introduced to him before they decided to get married, so they had at least one chance for rapport) they formed a connection of some kind and an appreciation for each other. We also know that Octavian, as he grew in power and especially once things steadied in Rome and he got his name changed to Augustus, still relied on her as a source of advice and listened to her as a counselor, in spite of her gender and the extreme patriarchal nature of Rome. Augustus, when it comes to Livia's role as an advisor to him, actually had Livia occupying a space very similar to the one he had originally occupied for Julius Caesar: not just being an advisor and a trusted someone at their side, but also someone you could ask to intercede for you with The Great Man either on your behalf or on the behalf of someone you cared about. That Augustus allowed this at all shows a care for her, because he was big on the rigid societal structures and propriety of Ancient Rome, what with all his family laws and his strong stance on morality. But I do think the strongest indicator of love between them, since I do believe there was a love between them, is in the fact that they stayed married.
Livia and Augustus were married for 51 years, from 39 BC until he died in AD 14. And it is honestly wild that, in all that time, they never got divorced. Divorce in Ancient Roman times was exceptionally easy. Literally all was required was that one of the parties move out of the house and that's it, you're considered divorced legally and religiously in all ways that mattered. That's why, when you read about these people, you see how often they're just getting divorced right and left at the slightest provocation, Augustus included, divorcing Claudia and Scribonia with relative ease. But not Livia, even though the marriage wasn't doing the one thing most political marriages really need to be doing: bringing in children. Livia and Augustus never had any children, and only ever one pregnancy, which ended in a stillbirth. Given that Augustus specifically really needed an acceptable heir, as he was trying to build a hereditary autocracy that relied on power being passed down from father to son, rather than the semi-democracy Rome had at the time, this is a big deal. We know that Augustus struggled with heirs, mostly because everyone he ever wanted as an heir kept dying before him (which has to suck, just on a personal level, given that a lot of these were family members that he'd been close to and viewed as his own children, sorry man), and he probably would have very much liked to have a natural son to prepare to succeed him, rather than bouncing around. And given how quickly it became apparent that his marriage to Livia was not going to give him any children at all, let alone any sons, he could have easily divorced her with just a few words and found someone else, especially after he cemented his power following Actium and patrician prestige was no longer as important as his own personal presence. But he didn't do that. For a man who always thought ahead and always made decisions based on how they would advance the goals he felt he needed to have, irregardless of personal feeling (the existence of the Second Triumvirate is basically proof that Augustus, very quickly in his political career, developed a habit of shunting his own personal feelings to the side for the sake of doing what needed to be done), choosing to stay in a marriage that wasn't really offering him anything beyond the companionship of a woman he loved is very weird. It speaks to the amount and the depth of feeling there, that he decided to remove political calculation and opportunism from his thought process and decide to stay in a marriage that wasn't necessarily advantageous, because he wanted to, because he cared about and loved the person he was married to.
All in all, I think he cared about her, probably did love her, and even if there was some opportunism in the match, it seems to have been a marriage between two people who enjoyed being together and liked each other.
#personal#answered#anonymous#roman history#octavian#livia drusilla#i'm generally quite wary about ascribing specific emotions to specific historical dynamics#just cuz again we don't Know and here specifically there's a lot of missing information#but i'm at least comfortable in saying that they liked each other#'oh but amelie you don't have a problem saying agrippa and octavian loved each other-' because i have eyes#because a lot of their relationship in stark contrast to the marriage with livia was done VERY publicly#and we have a lot more info on it and how reciprocal it was#but yeah i'd say there's at least A kind of love between augustus adn livia
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fuck it, i love you - okkotsu yuuta
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ 10k follower event special! ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
word count: 11k
warnings: none really. reader likes lemon oreos bcuz i projected onto this <3
summary: (y/n) and yuuta get to know each other better over the phone while he's on assignment in africa. feelings ensue.
more info: long distance friends to lovers, yuuta got that romance dawg in him
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[ and you know everyone adores you // you can’t feel it and you’re tired // baby, wish that you would hold me or just say that you were mine // but it’s killing me slowly ]
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
The first time he gets a call from her, Yuuta is a little perplexed before he answers the phone. Of the few people he might’ve expected a phone call from, (y/n’s) was the last name he expected to see on his screen. Nonetheless, he answered it right away.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Okkotsu,” Her voice was so cheerful, he could’ve easily believed that she meant to call someone else. But she’d said his name, so it couldn’t have been a mistake. “How’s Morocco?”
“Morocco, is….” He trails off, fingers tapping a poor rhythm on the table in front of him. Doing paperwork in a hotel room wasn’t ideal. The desk provided was always small, and the chair always uncomfortable. But it wasn’t like he had a lot to report anyways. “It’s alright, I guess”
“Alright, you guess?” She repeats curiously. “Sounds like you’re bored already”
“Bored-? N-no, no I’m not bored,” He stammered over his words, and (y/n) could be heard laughing through the line. “I’m just, um, I’m trying to do a report right now” He said sheepishly.
Trying being the key word. He’d practically given up ten minutes before he got her call anyways.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” (y/n) apologized right away. “Am I keeping you? Should I go?”
“N-no!” Yuuta squeaked, cringing at himself as he slumped back into his hair, covering his face with his hand as if there was anyone else around to hide his embarrassment from. “No, you’re not keeping me, I… I have nothing for this report anyways” He explained.
“Really? Not goin’ so well?” She asked.
“Uh- it’s just- I don’t want to bore you with it,” He sighed. “Anyways, what’s the call for? Isn’t it like…” He glances behind him at the analog clock on his bedside table, wincing when he sees how late it was. “Three in the morning, your time?”
“Actually, it’s only two forty-five,” She corrects with a clear smile in her tone. “And aren’t I allowed to check in? You’ve been gone, for like, weeks”
“Y-yeah, you’re allowed,” He mumbles back, face feeling hot. “I just figured, y’know, you’re… busy”
“Never too busy,” She half-jokes. “So tell me all about it, boring parts and all”
Yuuta’s brows pinch together, a small scoff leaving his throat.
“Really?” He’s unsure as to why she’d want to hear about the ins and outs of a trip that so far had proven to be pointless. “You sure you want to hear about it?”
“Course,” She hums back. “Beats studying”
So he complies. There’s not much to tell, but he finds a way to walk her through what his day-to-day with Miguel was like. Looking for more of the Black Rope. She seemed to have some interest in the cursed tool, asking excitedly if it could stop the cursed techniques of even the strongest special grade sorcerers.
“Yeah, that’s kinda the point,” He chuckles. “But it’s been slow. I’m starting to think this is going to take longer than we thought…”
(y/n’s) a good listener. She lets him ramble on even when he’s not making sense, and continues to prod and ask more questions when she comes up with them. He thinks maybe she’s just stalling to keep her from studying, but he figures there were countless other things she could’ve done to keep her occupied… right?
It’s not until Yuuta notices the clock and remembers the time difference between them that he finally stops his rambling and suggests they end their call soon.
“Ah- it’s late, and I’m probably boring you now, too” He lets out a light hearted chuckle that she can’t help but reciprocate.
“I guess I should try to study just a little” She huffs.
Yuuta scoffs, a small smile on his face as he picks up his pen and stares at the half-finished report in front of him. Maybe he’d been stalling, too.
“Or you could just go to bed, cram last minute tomorrow” He suggests.
She seems amused by that, and when she lets out a little laugh he thinks it’s the right choice, too. The noise comes out lazily, full of sleepiness. It’s obvious even through the phone. Yuuta wonders if she’s hunched over her desk, ignoring the textbook and notes right in front of her.
“You’re pr’lly right,” She murmurs, her tiredness even more evident in her voice. “I guess I’ll go to bed then”
“Okay,” Yuuta drums the pen against his thigh in an erratic beat. Something about saying goodnight makes him feel a little disappointed.
Until now, he hadn’t realized that it had been weeks since he’d casually talked to a friend. Toge texted plenty, and sometimes he heard from Panda and Maki, too. But this felt… different.
“Well, goodnight-”
“And Okkotsu?” She interrupts him without realizing, quickly apologizing before she continues her thought. “You didn’t bore me, just for the record. I think it’s neat that you get to be on such a special assignment. I hope that it gets more exciting for you”
He’s thankful that she didn’t opt to facetime him, because his face grows so warm he just knows he’s turned into a tomato. And something about sitting in his lonely little hotel room and blushing over such a simple comment is downright embarrassing.
He laughs nervously, tugging at the collar of his shirt to relieve the heat on his neck.
“Uh, yeah, me too,” He stammered quietly. “Thanks. Good luck with studying”
She hums.
“Goodnight, Okkotsu. Thanks for keeping me company”
The call ends there, and Yuuta smiles to himself as he sets his phone down and finds the energy to finish up his pointless report.
Talking with her had been nice. Maybe they hadn’t become the closest of friends between him enrolling at Jujutsu Tech and being shipped off to Africa, but he thinks that could- and should- change.
He’d have to make more of an effort to get closer to her while he was away.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
When (y/n) calls again, it’s not so late this time.
Yuuta had just settled in the hotel lobby with his burrito for lunch, his only plan for the time being was to scroll aimlessly on his phone while he ate. To his luck, just as he sat down on the stiff cushioned chair in the lobby, his phone rang.
“Okkotsu!”
It had been a little over a week since their last call, and Yuuta had done his best to keep in touch with her since then. A few photos of the wildlife native to the area that she seemed to enjoy, or a pretty sunrise here or there. There were a lot of messages sent to her first thing in the morning, beautiful photos tagged with his complaints of being up so early. It was the easiest time to use his phone, and he’d tried to make a habit of at least messaging her once a day.
To his delight, she always sent him a response. It wasn’t always right away, with an eight hour time difference that was a steep ask, but she never failed to let him know that she saw his message and appreciated it somehow. Whether it was an emoji reaction or a full text, she never left a text from him unanswered. Strangely, Yuuta found this to be thoughtful of her.
“I’m cooking, can you believe it!?” She sounds excited, but the kind of excited that seems like something very wrong is about to happen.
“O-oh?” He stutters, chucking as he tucks his phone between his ear and shoulder so he could unwrap his burrito. “What, are you not allowed, or something?”
“Hush, I don’t let anyone tell me what to do,” She laughs at his comment, not realizing he wasn’t joking. “I just haven’t cooked for myself properly since moving away from home. The kitchen here is puny, though,” She mutters the last part.
The muffled sounds coming through the speaker sound as though she’s rummaging around the cabinets. Yuuta tilts his phone away from his ear a little, the dishware clanking together more unpleasant than usual coming through a phone.
“But I thought it’d be nice to make a home cooked dinner. I was going to make some for everyone, but I guess they already ate. So it’s dinner for one tonight,” She explains. Yuuta’s chest sinks with disappointment at the thought of missing quality time with his friends. “Anyways, what’re you up to?”
“Eating a burrito,” He replies dryly. “What are you making? I’d much rather have that”
“Don’t speak too soon, it’s been a while since I’ve been in a kitchen,”
(y/n) laughs, and Yuuta does too.
“Just ramen,” She answers. “Figured it’s best to start out simple. Also figured I couldn’t set anything on fire”
“Depends on how you look at it. Setting something on fire while only cooking ramen might be an accomplishment, with how difficult it must be”
He doesn’t mean to be funny, but (y/n’s) laughing again, and Yuuta smiles through a mouthful of burrito for saying something clever enough. Pride swells in his chest the longer he hears her laughter turn to muted giggles while she’s pittering about the kitchen.
“You’re eating, should I let you go?” She asks once her laughter has calmed down.
“No, it’s alright,” Yuuta shakes his head even though he knows she can’t see. “I’m bored anyways. I was just going to sit here by myself and eat this burrito”
She laughs again, lightly this time.
“Alright, then, want me to tell you about how hard Maki kicked my ass in training yesterday?” She offers.
He’d already had an inkling, recalling a harshly worded text from her followed by a photo of her left leg covered in blue and purple marks that were bound to grow dark soon. He’d cringed when he’d seen it, giving the image a frowning emoji reaction before responding with, ‘Maki?’. But he happily agrees to have her tell him the rest of the story behind the bruises.
He deems (y/n) and Maki to hold a far closer friendship than he did himself, so he knew that the next five minutes of ranting on her part is in good nature and she was only annoyed with losing, not necessarily with Maki herself. That said, as someone who had dealt with the torture of training with her, Yuuta understood the feeling quite well. He laughs when she talks about being thrown to the ground like a ragdoll, and he winces when she tells him about the absolute beatdown she’d taken.
It’s a gruesome retelling, even though at times she talks as if it was as casual a part of her day as brushing her teeth had been. The life of a jujutsu sorcerer was always an unorthodox one.
“She didn’t even try to go easy on me, Okkotsu. But, she did get me an ice cream sandwich with my ice pack, so she’s still my best friend, I guess” She’s only teasing, evident in the way she giggles.
“Yuuta” He says without thinking, having happened to swallow the last of his food and finally getting a chance to speak.
“Hm- what?”
“You can just call me Yuuta” He clarifies, eyes darting around the lobby to be sure no one could see him blushing.
His voice grows quieter as he suddenly feels bashful in the public setting. None of the people passing in and out of the space pay him a second glance, and it doesn’t dawn on him that they might not even understand his language, but his body language says enough. He’s tucked into the corner chair, hunched over and holding the phone as close to his face as possible so he wouldn’t have to raise his voice too much. Not to mention, his face was turning a rosy shade of pink.
“Alright, Yuuta,” (y/n) muses, testing the waters to see how his name sounded. It felt foreign, and it had the color in Yuuta’s face darkening even faster, but she seemed amused by the change. “Ramen’s coming along pretty well, I think it’ll actually be edible!”
She’s quick to move on from the semi-serious topic. He’s relieved for this, and does his best to come across as casual as possible. He asks her about the recipe, and she talks to him for a while about her process until the conversation somehow turns back on him and he’s updating her about Morocco.
Time passes so easily, Yuuta barely realizes that he’s been sitting in the lobby for an hour, not thinking about how she had finished her dinner and eaten it too. (y/n) never mentions the time either, unknown to him, sitting on the counter in the common room’s kitchenette as she talks aimlessly about anything and everything she can think of. Yuuta enjoys hearing about it all, the shenanigans that she’s been up to with Toge, the odd style of teaching that Gojo has, even just the simple things, like how yesterday it had rained.
There’s something magical about being on the phone with her, he realizes halfway into hearing about how she’d gone outside to help the worms back into the grass after the rainfall. Not only does he lose time, but there’s not a dull moment. Most of his days had become so bland and boring they’d started to blend together. Besides the occasional sword training, he’d spent the majority of his time wandering about with Miguel. It was starting to feel aimless, with every passing day that they came up empty handed.
Talking with her was everything but boring, never boring. It finally felt like he had some company to get him through this assignment. He hoped that this second call meant they could make more of a habit out of it.
“I should probably go so I can clean up the kitchen,” She sighs when she finally suggests getting off the phone. It’s then, and only then, that Yuuta checks the time, quickly pulling his phone away to tap the screen before putting it up to his ear again. “I think it’d be obnoxious for me to stay on the phone while I do the dishes” She adds with a chuckle.
His heart spikes at the idea of her wanting to keep talking, though.
“Y-yeah, that might be too loud,” He replies. “But that’s okay, I should probably get some training in, or something, anyways”
“Gotta keep up that Special Grade status,” (y/n) teases. He’s grateful she can’t see him fluster every time she teases him, no matter how lighthearted it is. He’s not sure why it sends him into a mini panic every time, but he hopes he gets a hang of himself soon, if they’re going to keep talking like this. “Talk soon, though?”
He’d really have to learn to get a hold of himself. The short question has him beaming and nodding his head wildly, although the only people to see it are the hotel staff at the check-in desk who’d been peeking glances at the weird talkative boy on his phone for the last two hours.
Yuuta clears his throat before speaking, hoping to sound as normal as possible.
“Yeah, yeah we can talk again soon”
He’s not sure how well he does.
“Okay, cool,” The smile is evident in her tone, and in turn has Yuuta smiling too. “Talk to you later then, Yuuta”
Maybe he was just hopeless, but hearing his name again has him blushing and fidgeting in his seat.
“Bye, (y/n)”
Even once the call has ended and his phone is sitting lifeless in his lap, with the rush of adrenaline Yuuta gets, one might think he’d just received the best news of his life. Funnily enough, he hadn’t received much news at all- besides the fact that the worms on Jujutsu Tech Tokyo’s property were safe and accounted for after a life threatening sprinkle- so his giddiness was solely brought on by talking with her.
Slowly but surely, she was becoming his favorite person to talk to.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
[y/n]: need ur help, it’s urgent
[y/n]: ok woah i should not have said it like that
[yuuta]: ??? are you ok???
[y/n]: need u to help me win a bet
[yuuta]: ._.
[yuuta]: ok.
[y/n]: vanilla oreos suck, right?
[yuuta]: this was urgent?
[y/n]: panda said they’re his favorite flavor.
[yuuta]: oh god.
[yuuta]: he needs a wellness check for sure.
[y/n]: THANK YOU
[y/n]: toge said his fav were the birthday cake ones but the vanilla weren’t bad. he’s still got the taste of a toddler, but at least they’re not his FAVORITE i mean cmon. vanilla is just bad.
[y/n]: i knew you’d understand me.
[yuuta]: ur right this was urgent. i thought i knew them.
[yuuta]: what are your favorite?
[y/n]: obviously i told them original.
[yuuta]: … implying they’re not actually your favorite?
[y/n]: you’re asking very personal questions, yuuta
[yuuta]: lmfao
[yuuta]: i’ll tell u mine if u tell me urs :)
[y/n]: u first i’m shy :)
[yuuta]: original are good. but i like the toffee ones best
[y/n]: interesting.
[yuuta]: so am i getting judged for my oreo preference, too?
[y/n]: lol no. ur safe. for now ;)
[yuuta]: well we had a deal. what’s ur fav?
[y/n]: … i like the lemon ones
[yuuta]: :o
[yuuta]: don’t those come with a VANILLA cookie???
[y/n]: …
[y/n]: maybe.
[yuuta]: ur ridiculous
[y/n]: but the lemon flavor makes it different. it’s not PLAIN vanilla.
[yuuta]: can’t argue with u there
[y/n]: ya bcuz u wouldn’t dare :)
[yuuta]: no i wouldn’t :)
[y/n]: mwahaha i have the big scary special grade afraid of me :)
[yuuta]: idk about big. and the scary is all rika
[y/n]: does she have a take on the great oreo flavor debate? <3
[yuuta]: …
[yuuta]: she always preferred animal crackers.
[y/n]: <;/3
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
When Yuuta finally works up the courage to call her first, it’s been a couple weeks.
Which in hindsight, it feels like too much time has passed. Even though they’ve been texting every single day nearly nonstop. Yuuta had grown so attached to his phone it was almost becoming a problem.
Not that he’d admit it.
“Okkotsu Yuuta!” She picks up the phone with the same eagerness she’d held the last time she’d called him. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”
“I was bored, and was hoping you had something interesting going on,” He sighed, falling backwards on the perfectly made bed in his room. Too perfect. It was always annoying to tug the covers out of their tightly tucked corners to comfortably sleep at night. “All I’ve been doing is train and I’m exhausted” He grumbles.
(y/n) hums through the speaker.
“Well if you’re that bored, I suppose I could tell you about a boy conflict of mine,” She suggests.
Just as Yuuta was starting to relax into the mattress, he felt his spine go stiff as a chill shot from his tailbone all the way up to his neck. It feels like his entire body has been drenched in icy water, freezing him solid.
“It’s okay if that’s too… weird, though” He’s drawn back to reality by (y/n’s) nervous laugh, something he doesn’t hear all that often. It’s strained and awkward, displaying every bit of anxious emotion that she felt.
“It’s not weird,” Yuuta’s not usually very good at lying, people always have a way of seeing right through him. He wonders if he’s only decent at telling this one because she’s not physically here. She can’t see the way his face contorts as it tries to stay neutral, or how his fingers start to tap against the comforter beneath him. “Boy conflict is… normal” He adds.
He’d meant that one, but she laughs anyway.
“I guess so,” She sighs through the speaker. “But I’ve never really had any before. Not like you get to meet a lot of people. But… I guess I met someone..?”
Yuuta’s gut twists, and he wonders if he ate something bad with his lunch. Maybe the chicken was undercooked? No, it seemed fine. He probably just ate too fast.
“That feels less like conflict and more like interest” His jaw feels tight when he talks. With his free hand, he rubs at it and tries to keep his teeth from clenching.
“Well, I am interested,”
Distantly, Yuuta thinks he should swallow some tums before he goes to bed so this stomach ache won’t keep him up all night.
“At least, I think I am,” (y/n) sighs again. “He’s not a sorcerer, I met him at a corner store I went to with Maki,” She explains. “He was cute and all, I guess we had a moment over the energy drinks? It’s kind of a blur, I didn’t really pay attention until he was handing me his number and now I have this number and- I don’t know. Is that weird?”
Yuuta’s not really sure what to tell her. He’s not really sure how he feels about it. His gut tells him that yes, it is weird, and she shouldn’t be going out with some guy she met at a convenience store. Anyone can walk into one of those, he thinks bitterly, his brow furrowed as he thought over her dilemma.
“Well, um, did he seem… nice?”
The question comes out pathetic. Yuuta’s smacking his hand over his face from how stupid he sounds, and feels.
“Yeah, I guess” (y/n) answers anyways.
“Then I guess ball’s in your court?” The suggestion comes out more as a question than he means it to. Yuuta thinks he wasn’t equipped for this, and maybe he should have told her it was a weird thing for them to talk about.
But he wouldn’t have meant that. He would talk to her about anything, and he wanted her to feel the same. He wanted her to talk about anything and everything she wanted. Lord knows he’d take an interest in it.
However the interest he has in this conversation isn’t quite like normal. His curiosity is less genuine. It feels like it’s lurching around in his mind, something disappointed yet irritable growing in it’s place. He hates the feeling. He hates feeling that way towards her. Even if it wasn’t directed at her specifically.
“You’re right,” There’s more determination in her voice now. “I should just text him, right?”
No, Yuuta’s jaw is clenched again, teeth grinding loudly. He hopes she can’t hear it through the phone. No, don’t let some stranger have your number. He doesn’t deserve it like I do.
“Right!” His voice is louder than he means to, as if trying to overpower the jealous train of thought that runs through his mind.
He’s sitting upright on the bed in a second, still rigid and uncomfortable, but his anxiety makes him want to pace. He needs to work off the awkward feeling in his chest somehow.
“Then I can see what he’s like,” (y/n) speaks as though she’s really telling herself what made the most sense. Yuuta’s nodding wordlessly, his eyes fixated on a spot on the floor that’s growing more blurry by the second. “And then if I like him… maybe we can go out or something” She mumbles the last part, clearly distracted.
He wonders if she’s texting him now. The idea of her reaching out to this random guy while she’s on the phone with him sends his heart plummeting to his already upset stomach.
Where were all of these nasty feelings coming from?
“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea” Yuuta’s speaking, but it feels distant, he’s not exactly sure of what he’s saying.
“Alright. I’ll text him later, then,”
He’s relieved that she wasn’t doing it this very moment, but there was still an unsettling pit in his stomach knowing she was bound to reach out at some point.
“Thanks, Yuuta. So, what’s been going on with you?”
It takes a while of chatting and pacing the room before Yuuta feels like himself again. He’s lucky there wasn’t a circle burned in the shape of his track in the tightly coiled carpeting of his room, certainly he would’ve had to call Gojo for a favor if he was billed for such damage.
Eventually the nasty feeling in his chest settles and he’s sitting in the bed again, the notebook he was drafting up today’s report on propped on his legs and his phone at his side, (y/n’s) voice on speaker as she tells him about the rest of her and Maki’s outing in the shopping district.
As it always does, time goes by too quickly, and soon enough she’s yawning through the speaker and telling him it was getting too late for her.
“But thanks for calling, Yuuta. I was starting to think you didn’t know phones worked both ways” She teases softly.
Had she been waiting for him to call?
“Yeah, anytime. I just… you know the time difference… I don’t ever want to bother you”
“You? Bother me?” She giggles. “After you let me talk your ear off about a boy, I don’t think that’s what’s happening here,” She tells him.
The nasty feeling swells again.
“Besides, you could never bother me,” She adds, her tone much softer. Almost sweet. Yuuta can’t tell if his stomach is convulsing or doing flips. “But call again sometime, m’kay?”
“Okay,” He says, hopeful, and just as eager as he felt. “G’night, (y/n)”
“Bye Yuuta, goodnight!”
His phone lights up with the low battery icon once the call is over. He’s slow to plug the charger into it and leave it on his nightstand for the evening, his mind still mulling over everything she’d told him. Or more so, how he’d felt taking in all that information.
He couldn’t have possibly been jealous, right? Not over some random guy. Not because of her. They were friends, after all. Friends that didn’t even get that close until after he left. In his time at Jujutsu Tech he’d only spoken to her a handful of times, and mostly in passing. It wouldn’t feel right to have something like jealousy spark up now. No, he was probably just worried for her, seeing as he couldn’t look out for her when he’s thousands of miles away. Yeah, that was it.
It couldn’t have anything to do with the way he felt his world light up when she laughed. Or that getting a text message from her in the sound effect that he’d picked out just for her contact had serotonin spiking in his brain.
None of those things were connected at all.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
The fourth time they talk on the phone, unfortunately, he has to hear about this guy again.
Yuuta’s not even sure he knows his name. He thinks (y/n) must’ve mentioned it once or twice in their texts, but it’s never quite stuck, and honestly, Yuuta doesn’t want to ask.
Not that he cares- it wasn’t like that at all. It had simply been too long for it to feel appropriate to ask. He didn’t want her to think he didn’t listen, is all.
He’d called one evening when yet again he felt like putting off writing up his report. It had almost become a habit to reach out to her as soon as he was stalling, or bored. He didn’t have much to talk about, he never really did, but he had been eager to tell her about some new cuisine he’d tried that he’d thought she might like.
There was a pesky thought in the back of his mind about her visiting him for a few days. Only pesky due to how often it presented itself, even when he should’ve been focused on more pressing matters. He knew it was bad when Miguel had taken notice and smacked him upside the head to get him to pay attention- on this earth, preferably, he’d said.
But he couldn’t help it. The idea of having her here, for a few days or a few weeks, had become his go-to daydream. He already knew everything he’d want to show her, the busy, colorful markets and the good food Yuuta hadn’t known existed until coming here. To how pretty the beaches were at sunset, especially when the little hermit crabs would wake up and wander around the shore, he thinks she’d like that a lot.
Even just the idea of having her around to hang out with and chat about anything and nothing, just like how they do through their phones, had his chest buzzing with warmth and excitement. Even though it was all in his head and logic told him she probably couldn’t make such a trip. She had her own assignments and lessons after all, and technically he was supposed to be working.
Nonetheless, when he found himself getting bored, his mind drifted off to pretending she was there with him to keep him company. Sometimes it even did the trick.
Tonight when he calls her, he’s kicking around the idea of bringing it up. Maybe if she took it well enough he could reach out to Gojo about it, surely he had the social standing and the funds to let her visit. His heart is thrumming in his chest just thinking about it, every ring of the dial tone putting him further on the edge of his seat.
It rings a total of five times before she finally answers. It’s not all that late in Tokyo, just half past nine, but suddenly Yuuta worries that this wasn’t a good time to call.
“Hey,” He’s the first to speak, grinning from ear to ear when the line finally clicks and she’s answered the call. “Is this a bad time?”
“Uh, n-no,” She stutters back, voice quiet and a little raspier than usual. Had she been sleeping? She speaks before he can double check if it was an okay time to talk. “I’m not doing anything. What’s up?”
Yuuta can’t quite put his finger on it, but it certainly sounds like it’s a bad time. Her voice is lacking it’s usual mirth, and she sounds like she’s purposefully trying not to raise her voice. His smile begins to fall as his brain starts to stir with worry.
“Nothing, really. Just… wanted to talk, I guess,” It feels a little embarrassing to admit, but for once, she’s not teasing him. It’s strange, not hearing her softly poke fun at him when he’d clearly given her an opening to do so. “What’re you doing?”
“It’s almost ten here, I’m in bed”
The words almost come out cold, a bitterness to them that Yuuta wasn’t used to. If it weren’t for the crack in her voice, he might’ve thought she was upset with him. But there’s a noticeable little hitch in the middle of her words that tells him it’s not annoyance he’s picking up on.
“Hey,” His voice is quiet as he sits on his bed, brows furrowing as he feels the mood shift even in a room thousands of miles away from hers. “Is something wrong?”
“No” Comes her instant answer, but it’s not remotely believable. Her voice is so quiet and muffled it barely comes through the speaker, and shortly after he hears a shuffling that sounds like a heap of blankets being tossed around.
“C’mon, wanna talk about it?” He pressed again, dragging his finger over the crisp comforter on the bed to create misshapen invisible designs. “What happened, (y/n)?” He asks again, voice softer than before.
The tiniest of sniffles could be heard, and his heart sinks at the idea of her sitting alone in bed and crying. Whatever caused it he was sure he could find a way to solve it. It wasn’t often that Yuuta felt cocky with his Special Grade status, but in this moment he was sure he was the most powerful person in the world, and if something had bothered her this much, he’d certainly be able to take care of it.
“It’s- it’s stupid,” The high pitch in the cracking of her voice was more evident the louder she spoke. He’s worried she was going to leave it at that, maybe tell him to leave her alone or hang up altogether. Then he hears a wobbly inhale before she’s whimpering through her words again. “I’m so stupid, Yuuta, what was I thinking?”
His heart cracks with every word she speaks. He’s not sure what put her in such pain, but he swears, he’s experiencing it too just knowing she was hurting. He places his free hand over his chest to ease the hollow feeling that carves itself there.
“What d’ya mean? You’re not stupid, not remotely. C’mon, y’know that,” He tries to keep his voice light and gentle, even though the growing put in his stomach had his throat closing up. “What happened? Talk to me” He pleads softly.
(y/n) sniffles, before trying to even out her breathing again so she didn’t sound so pathetic when she talked.
“I don’t even want to tell you, it’s so stupid,” She admits. “B-but everyone else is busy, o-or gone and I- I don’t want to cry about it anymore,”
Had she been crying for a while? His heart seizes at the thought.
“Promise you won’t laugh at me?” She mumbles. Yuuta nodded his head rapidly in response.
“Yeah, yeah of course I promise. I won’t laugh at you” He tells her with grave sincerity.
She sighs, breath still shaky, but she does her best to talk through it.
In a wobbly, quiet voice, she tells him everything. About how she had plans to meet up with convenience-store-guy that Yuuta still hadn’t caught the name of. How she’d taken plenty of time to plan out her outfit and put herself together, how in the meantime he’d been nothing short of flirtatious and sweet, leading her to believe he’d been eager to go out with her. She tells him how an hour before they were set to meet up a block away from campus, she’d stopped hearing from him altogether. She laughs humorlessly as she explains she’d sent nearly ten messages asking where he was or if he needed to reschedule before she’d dropped it completely and walked herself back home.
“No text, no call. Absolutely n-nothing,” She mutters bitterly. “But I don’t g-get it, did I do something wr-wrong?”
“Of course not,” Yuuta sighed, trying to release the tension of his building irritation so he could keep his focus on comforting her. “He’s just… he’s stupid, okay? I don’t know what his deal is, but you dodged a bullet, for sure. If that’s how he acts before a first date, imagine how terrible he would’ve been by the twentieth”
Surprisingly, he’s not terrible when it comes to consoling her. (y/n) hums tiredly in agreement. It doesn’t necessarily take the pain away, but there is some relief in knowing it never would have worked out.
“Yeah,” She breathes out. “But… I was excited, you know?” She mumbles. “I’ve never been on a real date before, at least I don’t think I have, but I think I’d know,” She explains. “I just… I thought I’d feel normal for a night. I- I thought he liked me. I kinda liked him, too. But mostly I…” She trails off, and they both remain silent for a few beats, each processing their own mess of thoughts. “I liked the idea of being liked, I guess. Is that selfish?”
“Of course not,” Yuuta chuckles warmly. “Everyone wants that. It’s completely normal,” He says. “Besides, it’s not like you were imagining things. He did have an interest. Who wouldn’t?”
The last part comes out before he can realize what he’s actually saying, and his face grows hot with the insinuation of his words. He’s stammering to fix it, which doesn’t help him much, but he tries.
“W-what I mean is that there will be plenty of other people who will meet you and fall for you completely and y-you’ll be swarmed with phone numbers and people who like you!”
He doesn’t mean to raise his voice, but his nerves are starting to take over as the word vomit continues. (y/n’s) quiet as she listens intently, and the longer she doesn’t speak up to stop him, the worse his rambling becomes.
“You’ll have to fight ‘em all off, you know? There’s so many people out there who haven’t been lucky enough to meet you yet, and when they do you’ll get to experience everything you want. You know what?”
There’s a soft ‘what?’ from her end before he continues on his rant.
“It’s a good thing your first date wasn’t with that prick anyways. It wouldn’t have been fair. It wouldn’t have been right at all if your first date was boring or shitty or- or anything short of special and electric, okay?”
(y/n) still doesn’t say anything, but she’s hanging onto every word he says, even when they’re rushed and he’s stumbling over them, all of her focus is on what he’s saying.
“Because you deserve it. And anyone who is remotely worth your time will know that. And they’ll- they’ll text you too much before you finally go out, because they’ll be nervous because you make them nervous because you’ll be so out of their league, you know?” He doesn’t even pause before continuing. “And they’ll pick you up on time if not early because they’ll respect your time, and they’ll have flowers- the prettiest, most expensive bouquet they could find- right? A bouquet even Gojo couldn’t afford,”
She lets out a watery laugh that has Yuuta easing up in his rambling, a warm feeling planting in his chest in the hopes she’d smiled, even just a little bit, even if it was through her tears, he’d provoked just a little bit of joy from her.
“And… and if you’re anything short of completely swept away, then you’ll call Maki and she’ll come get you so you don’t have to spend another second wasting your time with a loser that doesn’t deserve you”
His chest is heaving a bit when he finally stops, not realizing he was losing his breath the longer he rambled on. His face feels hot as he processes everything he’d just dumped on her, and he prays that it wasn’t as pathetic as he’s worrying it was.
There’s a few small sniffles before (y/n) speaks up.
“Well, if you were back home, I’d just call you,” She says softly. Her voice doesn’t sound as strained as before, and Yuuta hopes it means she’d stopped crying. “You really think I’ll be able to find all that?”
“Yeah, ‘course I do,” He mumbles back, although his words hold absolute certainty. “Not a doubt in my mind”
She giggles, a real little laugh that he can almost see. It’s short and sweet and it has him elated that he’d lightened her mood. He’s not sure what exactly he did, but he’s grateful that the word vomit was beneficial for once.
“Thank you, Yuuta,” She murmurs. “You’re right, and, I actually feel a little better,”
His heart soars, and he’s smiling to himself again with pride and relief.
“I’m still going to watch Pride and Prejudice before bed, though. I’d already committed to it and I can’t just go to sleep now” She tells him seriously. Yuuta laughs, falling back on his bed as comfortably as he could with his feet still planted on the ground.
“I’ve never seen it,” He tells her. “But don’t stay up too-”
“Never?” She interrupts with a gasp of shock. “Yuuta, that’s criminal”
He chuckles again. “Is it really?”
“Yes, very much so,” She tells him. “When you’re back we have to watch it, okay?”
“Yeah, sure-”
“No, promise” She demanded for the second time that night.
“I promise,” He repeats, smiling to himself as his gaze wanders the ceiling.
He couldn’t help but think that if she were to visit him, they could spend a whole afternoon here in this room watching her movie, probably eating snacks and making a mess of the place as they got cozy for it. This room had always remained perfectly tidy, so much so it was almost boring. Having her in it would surely brighten it up and give it some life, he thinks.
“We’ll watch it as soon as I’m back” He tells her.
“Okay. Good. You were on thin ice for a second, you know” She murmurs sleepily. He can hear her yawning.
“Was I?” He muses. “Is that what it takes to get you to hang up on me?”
“Are you suggesting I wouldn’t?” She quips back, and he’s glad that her teasing nature has come around again.
“I’m suggesting you never have before” Yuuta shrugs. His fingers are pressed firmly against the back of his phone, keeping it close to his ear so he couldn’t miss the way she laughed at him.
“Yeah, well, maybe you’re just good company,” She hums. “But it is late and I want to watch this movie, so I guess there’s a first for everything”
His face is warm and he feels full, like he’d just eaten a good meal, despite him having skipped lunch in order to call her. Yuuta smiles lazily at the blank ceiling as he hums back to her.
“Alright, enjoy your movie,” He says. “But, uh, you can call me again. Y’know, if you… need to. Or want to”
There’s a pause before she responds.
“Okay,” It comes out in a hushed whisper. “Have a good rest of your day, Yuuta”
The time difference has his lips pinching into a frown, but he quickly tries to hold onto the last few seconds of joy he has while talking to her.
“Goodnight, (y/n)”
The call ends, and he drops his phone to the mattress, letting it sit forgotten beside his head. He stays put in his semi-comfortable position, still staring at the ceiling as his hands fall to his sides. His chest felt tight, and his mind a little dazed as he replayed the call over and over in his mind. The hurt he’d felt when she was hurting, the relief he’d felt when she was happy. It was overwhelming, the way his own emotions were thrown through the wringer depending on hers.
His heart was hammering in his chest so hard, Yuuta knew he couldn’t deny his feelings any longer.
He was falling for her. Fast, and hard.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
[yuuta]: [attachment]: one image
[yuuta]: i think you’d like these little guys
[y/n]: :D a hermit crab!!!
[y/n]: so cute! can’t believe ur holding it, i’d be scared of getting pinched
[yuuta]: i’m special grade, i’m not scared of anything :)
[y/n]: getting real comfy with throwing that title around, huh? you must think so low of me, a mere second grade. i could never amount to the *mighty* okkotsu yuuta.
[yuuta]: lol shut up it’s just a crab
[y/n]: he is super cute. his name is yuu now :)
[yuuta]: bcuz u miss me so much? :)
[y/n]: bcuz he’s small and feisty. that little claw looks ready to attack :>
[yuuta]: ok i’ll admit he did pinch me once.
[yuuta]: but in his defense i did pick him up and i am a big scary human
[y/n]: lmfao
[y/n]: i thought we just established ur small and feisty
[yuuta]: i don’t think i like being called small
[y/n]: tiny
[y/n]: smol
[y/n]: just a baby
[yuuta]: are we still talking abt the crab??
[y/n]: and maybe a little cute
[y/n]: if we’re still talking about similarities :)
[yuuta]: cute???????
[y/n]: when u first came to jujutsu tech u were kinda like a hermit crab LMFAO
[y/n]: i think if u had a shell u would’ve lived in it for WEEKS XD
[yuuta]: ._.
[y/n]: :)
[yuuta]: ur being a menace today
[yuuta]: more than usual
[y/n]: it’s bcuz gojo’s lesson plan so far has been fighting the air :/ idk how he’s a teacher. i’m definitely not learning anything
[y/n]: except that i might be able to take him in a fight without cursed energy
[yuuta]: my money is on u :)
[yuuta]: but also i’ll be there with ice cream when u get ur ass kicked
[y/n]: <;/3[y/n]: that’s my broken heart[y/n]: you’ve broken my heart.
[yuuta]: lol
[yuuta]: but there will be ice cream
[yuuta]: <3
[y/n]: …
[y/n]: ok i might forgive u
[yuuta]: is it bcuz i’m cute
[yuuta]: :))
[yuuta]: ?? (y/n) ??
[yuuta]: :((
[yuuta]: don’t ghost me ik ur not paying attention in class
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
The tenth phone call they have, (y/n’s) the one calling him.
It’s one in the morning his time, so he’s sound asleep on the mattress that still feels stiff after about three months of him sleeping on it. Every day he longs more and more to go back home to his cozy room and his friends and her.
When his ringtone blares, a pretty tune that’s suddenly the most obnoxious sound on the planet, he’s awake right away. Jolting from his slumber and reaching around blindly in search of the device. He nearly shoves everything on his bedside table right off, his arm swinging with too much force in his desperate attempt to pick up the phone.
Even once it’s in his hand, it takes him a second to steadily press the accept button, his vision blurry and sleep still threatening to take back over. It takes him a few tries before he’s answering the call and laying the phone on his pillow next to his head.
“Hello?” He rasps out.
“Yuuta!” (y/n’s) all too cheery for one in the morning, but he distantly remembers it’s the early evening in Tokyo. His eyes squeeze shut as he rubs at them tiredly. “Yuuta! How could you not tell me the good news!?”
She’s yelling, and even without his phone on speaker he hears her perfectly fine just having the device laying next to his head. It’s a shock to his ears, his mind buzzing as it tries to wake him up to deal with the noise. But he snuggles deeper into his pillow, rolling onto his side to press his face into the feathery plushness.
“-was gonna wait,” He mumbles sleepily. “Y’know, ‘til I was awake, ‘nd it was a normal time” His words are followed by a low chuckle. The pillow suddenly becomes the comfiest thing he’s ever touched, and even the stiff mattress becomes a little more inviting.
“Wait?” She repeats the word before gasping dramatically. “Okkotsu Yuuta, I had to hear you were coming back from Toge!”
He chuckles again at her antics. He’s still exhausted, but his chest feels warm hearing the excitement in her voice.
“Do you know how long it took him to tell me? Hm? He did charades, Yuuta. Charades!” The image has him laughing a little more, shoulders shaking just a little bit as he listens to her go on. “I’m terrible at charades by the way. The whole thing took, like, fifteen minutes. I was pissed he couldn’t just write it down”
“Toge’s jus’ like that” He mumbles.
“But you told him before me?”
Yuuta’s not sure if the offense in her tone is fake or not. To play it safe, he covers his tracks.
“No,” He sighs. “Gojo pr’lly told him. He only just told me before I went to bed”
“And you didn’t even text,” (y/n) huffs, but he can hear the laugh she’s trying to hold back. He smiles in relief knowing she was just sticking to her bit. “Well you better actually text me as soon as you’re back!” She says threateningly. “We have plans. You promised”
“How could I forget?” He hums, voice low and growing quieter as his body beckons him to fall back to sleep.
“Okay. Good,” She says definitively. “I guess I’ll let you go back to sleep. Sorry for waking you up”
He hums in amusement.
“Don’t be sorry for being so excited to see me you couldn’t contain it,” He teases quietly. (y/n’s) silent on the other end of the line. “And don’t be embarrassed, either” He adds.
“I’m not embarrassed!” She squeaks, making him chuckle some more. Maybe he was just deprived of his sleep, but she was extra cute when he was the one doing the teasing. “But I… I am excited to see you”
He smiles into his pillow, sighing contentedly into it.
“I know sweetheart,” He mumbles. “And ‘m excited to see you too”
She’s failing to stifle a giggle through the speaker.
“Okay okay, you’re clearly wiped. I’ll let you go,” She says. “Goodnight, Yuuta”
“Night, (y/n)”
He’s asleep before she even ends the call, drawn back into rest by the suddenly comfortable bedding and the sweet echo of her laughter playing in his mind.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
(y/n) had been adamant about having their movie night the same night he gets back to Tokyo. With the jet lag and the time difference keeping him awake against his wishes, she was sure that having a relaxed evening inside would be the best way to ease him back into being at home.
Yuuta, on the other hand, tried to make it clear that they didn’t have to rush into it. His flight would land at eleven in the evening, and he was sure he wouldn’t even be back to campus before midnight. While it might have felt like early afternoon to him, (y/n) would have already had a full day of lessons and training, and likely be exhausted by that time.
However she was stubborn. It didn’t matter how much he tried to persuade her otherwise, she remained certain that she would stay awake long enough to greet him and have a simple, fun night set up for them.
And who was he to fight too hard against it anyways? The idea of her going through the trouble and wanting to stay up so late just to see him gave him energy for the whole day. He was smiling through customs, bouncing his leg waiting to board, texting her as much as possible before he’d have to put his phone on airplane mode, and greeting every employee and flight attendant with so much delight it was infectious. He’d even gotten an extra package of goldfish for his delightful friendliness.
He’s as quick as can be picking up his checked luggage and rushing out of the airport. Anyone who saw might have thought he was late, but in actuality he was trying to be as early as possible. He’d practically crashed into Ijichi, almost racing past him, but just as quickly recognition flashed in his eyes and he gave the manager a bone crushing hug, forgetting his strength.
The man was alarmed by the affection, awkwardly patting the boy’s back before stepping out of the embrace and nervously laughing. He leads Yuuta out of the building and towards the sleek black car that’s waiting to take him home. Yuuta’s positively buzzing the whole ride. It’s obvious that Ijichi is tired, it’s almost the middle of the night after all, but he does find some amusement in Yuuta’s pure and unfiltered excitement.
However when the boy shouts for a pit stop at a local twenty-four hour grocery shop, the man almost drives the car right off the road, slamming on the brakes and pulling over roughly enough to wake him up completely. If Yuuta notices the harsh driving maneuvers, he doesn’t say anything. Simply grabbing his wallet and rushing inside the building. Ijichi swears all these kids pumped full of muscles and adrenaline would be the death of him.
Yuuta comes back with a full paper bag and a grin, thanking the manager as they continue the drive home without a hitch.
He shouldn’t have the energy he does when they arrive, but Ijichi watches in shock as Yuuta easily carries all of his bags and the delicate groceries and breaks into a full sprint for the dorms, hollering one last thank you as he does.
He’s unceremonious as he drops his things in his room. There is a certain comfort in being back in a space he can contently call his own, but the welcome home nap he was so eager to take in his own bed could wait. He leaves his things and is swept away by his own two feet as he hurries down the hall.
There’s the faintest of light peeking out under only one door, all the others tightly shut and seemingly dark inside. It was past midnight, and there were lessons first thing tomorrow morning. He’s hesitant for only a second as he reaches the door, but adrenaline takes over again and he’s knocking as quietly as he can.
He can barely hear someone inside, although he doesn’t make out any real words. Just to be safe, he knocks again.
“H’llo?” A tired voice calls back a little louder this time.
Yuuta’s hand is shaking when he reaches for the latch and slides the door open, just barely peeking inside.
He’d seen (y/n’s) room maybe once in passing, but he hadn’t taken a real glance, and definitely never stepped inside. Now, he takes it all in with his face lit up in pure astonishment.
It’s decorated with string lights, soft and twinkling slowly here and there. Just enough to give some ambience without it being overpowering. Her small television is flickering with the title screen of her adored movie. She’s curled up in a heap of blankets on the bed, and for a few seconds he thinks she’s asleep. But her head tiredly lifts to see who her visitor was, and like a switch, she’s full of energy.
“Yuuta!”
His name falls from her lips in soft awe, and she’s throwing her blankets back and sitting upright, shifting to get out of bed. Yuuta’s beaming back at her, stepping into the room and turning to slide the door shut behind him. The others would be quite annoyed if they were to be woken up at this hour.
She’s stumbling a bit towards him, her arms outstretched and her face in a lazy grin. It takes no time at all for her to cross the room and throw her arms around him to hug him tightly. Yuuta’s careful to hold his bag of goodies to the side so they don’t get crushed when he reciprocates the tight hug.
He hadn’t hugged her before he left for Africa. He hadn’t hugged anyone, actually. Just waved as he bid them goodbye. Hugging her now feels like something he’d waited for for ages, and finally getting to hold her against him has his heart soaring.
“You’re finally home,” She’s smiling into his chest, and pulls away only so she can grin up at him, properly taking in his pretty eyes and longer hair. She’s just about to comment on the change in style before she notices the bag in his hand, and focuses on it instead. “Did you bring gifts?” She asks with a playful smirk.
“Uh- yeah, I mean, sorta,” He stammers, his face getting warmer than he would’ve liked as he opens the bag and glances inside, suddenly apprehensive about handing them to her. “It’s not from Africa, but they are necessities,” He tells her.
(y/n) raises a brow curiously, before prompting him to show her what he brought.
Yuuta’s sheepish as he reaches in the bag and produces a family size package of lemon flavored oreos. It seemed like a great idea when he’d picked them up, but now he feels anxiety twisting in stomach as he presents them to her.
“Lemon oreos!” (y/n’s) nothing short of delighted as she takes the package from his hands, already peeling back the plastic to snatch one and take a bite right away. She hums as she finishes the cookie, her eyes twinkling with happiness as she seals the package again. “You remembered, thank you. We’ll definitely finish those tonight” She says with a laugh.
“Don’t worry, I brought my own snack, they’re all yours” He says softly. She brightens even further at the prospect.
“You really know the way to a woman’s heart, Okkotsu” She teases.
After months of getting teased over the phone, he finally gets to witness it first hand. Her cheeks are pink and her eyes shift between his and other spots around the room bashfully. He wonders if she was always so shy when she’d teased him before.
His smile softens as he reaches into the bag again, carefully holding the other gift as he pulls it from the bag. (y/n’s) eyes widen and her lips part as she takes in the sight of the beautiful arrangement of flowers he was holding. It was simple, a pretty bouquet of lilies, lily of the valley, to be specific, she recognized them as the same white flowers scattered around the courtyard. Her eyes were locked on the bouquet as Yuuta picked around it a bit, making sure every flower was perfect and presentable.
“It’s not, uh, the most expensive bouquet in the world,” He mumbles anxiously once he deems the flowers pretty enough to hand to her.
She looks up at him as though silently asking if they were really for her, her surprise evident in the way she stared at him in soft surprise before she finally took the flowers. Her movements are slow and so, so careful, not wanting to bend a single stem out of place.
“But, still, um,” With his hands free Yuuta begins to fiddle, scratching at the nape of his neck as he struggles to meet her gaze. “Y’know, I just wanted to… give you flowers”
A smile breaks out across her face as she leans close to them to take in a whiff, soothed by the gentle, clean scent that fills her nose.
“I love them,” She murmurs, still staring in awe at the pretty arrangement. “Can I take a picture?” She asks, and he nods wordlessly. He finally takes in a breath of air when she turns around to grab her phone from the bed, not having realized he’d been holding it since handing her the intimate gift.
What he doesn’t realize is she’s bounding back over to him with her phone in hand, the camera flipped around so she can take a selfie of her flowers with him very much in it.
“C’mon, smile!” She giggles as she turns her phone sideways, eyeing the image of him with his blushing face and wide eyes, obviously caught off guard.
She snaps the photo when he throws up a peace sign and gives the most relaxed smile he can, his eyes closed and his cheeks undeniably pink. (y/n) admires it before tucking her phone back into her pocket and clutching the flowers close to her chest lovingly.
“Thank you so much,” She gives them one last affectionate glance before tucking them carefully into a jar on her desk- after she dumped all the pens in it onto her workspace without a second thought. Yuuta almost laughed at how quickly she made the mess and left it in order for the bouquet to have a safe home. Once she’s sure they’re safe and sound, she turns back to him again.
It’s funny how out of place he looks standing in her doorway. Long legs and broad shoulders taking up more space in her room than she would’ve thought. She’d almost forgotten how large Yuuta was. Somehow, it made it funnier that he looked so lost. Like he didn’t want to take a step, and didn’t know what to do with his hands. She could tell he was trying his best to come across as comfortable as he could, but she could see the wince behind his smile, and his slowly shifting feet.
He looks out of place now, but she likes having him here. She likes that he smells like sandalwood, and something sweet like vanilla. She likes that he’s still holding the paper bag that he’d brought her gift in, not wanting to drop it somewhere in her room like a piece of litter. She likes that when their eyes meet he smiles, and crinkles form on his eyes that compliment his blushing face.
She likes everything about Yuuta, but right now, she likes that he was the first boy to ever bring her flowers most of all.
So despite her racing heart, she decides to tell him so.
“I’m glad you were the first guy to ever give me flowers”
Yuuta’s smile drops slightly as his face softens with surprise, eyebrows raising higher when she steps even closer to him.
He’s holding his breath again when she leans onto the tips of her toes and pressing a quick kiss to his warm cheek. The feeling of her lips brushing over his skin only makes it heat up more, and against his will he lets out a little gasp for air. (y/n) giggles when she stands flat on her feet again, her nose slightly wrinkled at her amusement at how easily Yuuta flusters.
She’s starting to think to herself that she should test just how much she can fluster him while he’s here, when he’s suddenly the one taking her breath away.
He steps forward to close the distance between them again, dropping the paper bag so he can slide his hands under her jaw, tilting it upwards so he can lean down and kiss her with ease. A gasp dies in the back of her throat just as his lips touch hers, the hesitation from her surprise only momentary.
For a soft kiss, Yuuta radiates so much passion her knees feel weak, and her hands are firm as they press into his shoulders, desperate to keep herself upright. Even his hands are gentle, their touch warm and featherlight against her face.
She longs to press impossibly closer and explore his every last dip and crevice, but for right now, everything is perfect. His gentleness, his sweetness, him, she couldn’t have hoped for a more lovely first kiss.
Just as the kiss was, he pulls away slowly, forehead still touching hers. A short sigh escapes him before his lips turn into a smile. (y/n) watches as his mouth stretches and curls, her own face mirroring the expression, before her eyes flicker up to his to see he’s staring down at her.
“Sorry, I-” He shakes his head, trying to find just the right words to tell her how long he’d been thinking about doing that. His mind is too foggy so he runs his mouth with abandon. “I’ve just really wanted to do that” He murmurs.
(y/n) giggles, her face blooming with color at the blatant confession. It had her heart going haywire even more after the kiss, and any hopes of being the one to fluster him goes out the window. She’s putty in his hands and he must know it.
“Don’t be sorry,” She whispers back, shyly averting her gaze, not that it does her any favors, he’s still cradling her face and keeping her so close that it felt there was no shying away from him. “I… I was hoping to talk to you, um, when you got back,” She says, the grin on her face betraying her as she tried to casually mention her feelings for him. “About, y’know, hanging out more, ‘n stuff”
Yuuta chuckles at her bashful nonchalance, nodding his head back at her with an excited gleam in his eyes.
“I’d like to hang out more and stuff,” He hums, dropping his hands from her face and nodding to where she’d set up the movie hours earlier. “Should we start with watching your movie?”
Excitement flashes in her eyes as she nods her head back at him, before taking his hand and tugging him over to the comfort of her bed.
“Settle in, your mind is about to be blown by literary perfection and cinematic masterpiece. This is their love child”
He chuckles, falling into the mattress with her and getting settled against the mountain of pillows at her headboard while she searches her blankets for the remote. His chest is still vibrating with adrenaline, but as he sinks into a comfortable bed for the first time in months, he finds himself relaxing.
Despite his body feeling like it was the late afternoon, he feels as though he could go right to sleep.
It helps when (y/n) passes out first. Her body slumps against his and she snores softly against his chest. It’s such an amusing sight he can’t help but take a photo for her to wake up to in her messages. He pauses the movie so that they can pick it up from where they left off tomorrow, and then settles deeper into the cozy bed.
The comfort he felt with every text received from her, every phone call to keep him company in the last few months of being away and being alone, it seems almost personified now. Resting here beside her, simply sharing the same space, Yuuta feels the same wave of relief now. He can’t help but smile to himself as he settles under the covers, being careful to not disturb her peaceful slumber.
He’s asleep in a matter of minutes. The warmth of her body so close and the plush mattress working together to put his mind at such ease he didn’t even notice he was tired until he was closing his eyes and drifting off.
It was good to be home.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
[ fuck it, i love you // fuck it, i love you // fuck it, i love you // i really do ]
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
xoxo ~ jordie
a/n: gojo pays the international phone bills obviously so don't be commenting on it
#okkotsu yuuta#okkotsu yuuta x reader#okkotsu yuuta imagine#okkotsu yuuta friends to lovers#yuuta#okkotsu#yuuta brainrot#yuuta x reader#yuuta imagine#okkotsu x reader#okkotsu imagine#yuuta okkotsu#yuuta okkotsu x reader#yuuta okkotsu imagine#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk fluff#jujutsu kaisen fluff#okkotsu yuuta x reader fluff#jjk imagine#jujutsu kaisen imagine
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Gale Headcanons: pining, dating, marriage & domesticity
〚 Masterlist | WIP List 〛
this one's gonna be a doozy <3
I did change it slightly from the original description on the poll (which was dating, romance, and domesticity) because I felt like marriage would be a simple add-on.. who doesn't want more Gale content, anyways?
This post will be organized into 4 parts: pining, dating, domesticity, and marriage - so only read the parts you're interested in!
-MDNI-
some nsfw in the 'dating' & 'marriage' sections, but nothing explicitly described
Pining:
i mean.... we all played the game, right
in the game, act 1 only includes light courting with Gale, versus the far more intimate moments Tav can have with companions like Lae'zel and Astarion
Tav's relationship with Gale goes from 0 to 100 in the game once you get to act 2, and I'm not a big fan of that
he's just like "hey remember that one time we shared a blink of a moment in the weave and then we never talked or hinted at anything ever again? Great, now let's have sex and also I love you <3333"
Realistically, that's not how Gale would be, so let's rewrite history
Gale's courting tactics involve a lot of info-dumping and complimenting, as we know, and he does this without even realizing it at first
up until the party at camp, that is his only strategy
he realizes he likes you fairly early on, but he actually battles those feelings for a long time - he tries very hard to shove them down and forget about them
but he can't!! everything you do seems to draw him in more and more
at the party when he offers to have a magical moment with you, he does not think you reciprocate any feelings for him
he just wanted to give you a little glimpse into the thing that he loved so much, the thing that he'd spent his whole life learning
it's not something he would do with just anyone, even if it just seemed like a friendly gesture
once he perceives your feelings for him, or at the very least the fact that you want to kiss him, he's elated - hoping to the Gods that the impression on his chest doesn't start glowing at his excitement
it was too risky to do anything with you that night, but it was all he could think about once he was in the privacy of his tent
he thought about what it meant - did you just want to kiss him (was it lust?) or did you mean something deeper? did you want him the way he wanted you? did you admire him the way he admired you?
but then he thought of the danger, and how it was pointless to get close to you or to allow you to get close to him
pointless only because he could literally level a city at any moment
but you just kept being you, and so he kept falling harder and harder - eventually, he just had to confess
upon his confession, he didn't sugarcoat anything, he was brutally honest about his worries
but he was also brutally honest about his feelings for you
the fact that you reciprocated any feelings towards him, the man with the ticking time bomb in his chest, was astonishing
he was so happy... and yet he felt so guilty
Dating:
you two start dating before the orb is stabilized by Elminster
it's very nerve-wracking for him, but he can't deny how wonderful it feels to be yours
upon your suggestion, he would agree to slowly try to take things further and further, up to a certain point
each night in his tent, you'd experiment with him - starting with just holding him, or sleeping next to him, or kissing his face
Gale made a whole big deal about your guys' first kiss, and you realized that the build-up could actually increase the chances of any unwanted orb activity
so one day you just walk up to him and kiss him
nothing long, nothing deep - just a quick kiss, stepping away right after (the look on his face was priceless btw)
and you were right, all of Gale's inner build-up to it was the issue (poor guy), so once it was over with it was very easy to work up to the point where you could come to his tent and kiss him for hours
one night you start exploring each other's bodies and you're surprised with how well of a hold he seems to have on not allowing his excitement to reach his orb, as you're able to go much further than you thought you would on the first night
but once you get to a point where your hands start exploring lower, under certain pieces of clothing, that's when it is time to stop
Gale would apologize profusely, telling you he'd give anything to be able to please you, but it was too dangerous at that moment - you'd have to keep working up to it (plz reassure him that that's not why you're with him, and you'll wait as long as you need to, even if you're never able to do anything with him PLEASE)
you and the group come across Elminster about a tenday after that, and *poof* the orb is stabilized
that night you and Gale go to "test out" the newfound stability of the orb
Gale's pretty nervous about it at first, but his anxiety is proven to not be needed pretty quickly
he ends up going down on you that night, wanting to save anything further for a more private, intimate setting
your first time together happens once you get to the shadow-cursed lands (the canon in-game scene, whichever you prefer)
after that, you guys have a few more encounters up until the Absolute is defeated - not being allotted much time for private intimacy
the 500 words describing the progression of your guys' physical intimacy aside - Gale is such a wonderful partner
Gale is such a considerate boyfriend, and he's funny!!
He'd 100% brag about you and he'd do it when he infodumps on people
Gale "erm actually ☝🤓, my partner..." Dekarios
He really likes when you sleep in his tent with him, or when you lay with him and let him read to you
He doesn't talk about the future with you - as much as he hopes for a future with you, he tries not to think about it too much because you both very well could die trying to defeat the Absolute
But if he's going to die, he wants to die loving you <3333
but to be honest, he does think about it a lot, he just tells himself it's all hypothetical
his thoughts are like this: "I really want to take Tav back home and introduce them to Tara and mother... THEORETICALLY ☝️☝️"
"HYPOTHETICALLY ☝️!☝️!.... i wonder if Tav would want a ring when I propose"
he just thinks that on the off-chance that you guys survive, maybe he should be prepared
Gale's the type to be like "my love, it's been exactly 93 days since you first agreed to be mine <333"
when you guys get to the city he WILL celebrate your 100th day of being together by taking you somewhere nice :))
Marriage:
okay this is going to be controversial..... but I like the way Gale proposes in-game
it very much feels like an accident, because he probably didn't mean to propose when he said "as a new member of the Dekarios clan" but it just kind of slipped out when he was asking you want to settle down with him
He considers you to be his family, and his asking you that question might've just been to see if you felt the same way
it does seem very Gale for something like that to just kind of happen, so despite the haters, I think it's very cute and very endearing, and I'm kEEPING IT
whether you return to Waterdeep with him or relocate somewhere else together, you get married within 6 months after defeating the Absolute
despite him saying "the Dekarios clan" (and despite popular headcanon), his family is very small - consisting of himself, his mother, and Tara
I'm a subscriber to the headcanon saying that Gale is an only child who grew up without a father and that any other family is spread all throughout Faerun, so he's not particularly close with any of them
so when you agree to marry him, he's so beyond happy at the thought of you joining his family
and perhaps the idea of growing it with you ("Gale as a dad headcanons" coming soon if that's something you're interested in)
he LOVES referring to you as his wife/husband/spouse, and before you guys get married he LOVES introducing you as his fiance!!!
it literally makes his heart jump
"my wife/husband/spouse" this, "my wife/husband/spouse" that
just like when you two were dating, he'd talk about you constantly
no one, not even his students are safe from him rambling about his spouse
taking last names isn't much of a thing in D&D and Forgotten Realms lore unless you're dealing with nobility (most common people don't even have surnames)
BUT THIS IS MY HOUSE (I'm literally a DM irl and I'm about to say fuck canon)
so if taking his last name is something you want to do, do it and he'll have a fucking heart attack
honestly, he'll even take yours if you want him to
he thinks it's romantic okay !!!!!! anyways
Gale organizes something every single year to celebrate your anniversary, and he'll never stop
on your anniversaries, he'll dedicate as much of his day to you as he can (lowkey he might take off of work)
he'll wake you up with breakfast (and maybe other things...), take you out for an activity or two during the day, and then some years he'll take you to dinner, and other years he'll make dinner for you (unless you have a strong preference for one or the other)
and then end the night with a romantic, candlelit bath, more intimacy, and really good sleep
I love the idea of married sex with Gale, guys - it's like just being married gets him off
Gale brings a sort of 'missionary sex with the lights on' vibe to the marriage that some readers don't really like
unless you're happy with that (and how could you not be), you'll definitely have to be the driving force in changing things up in the bedroom once you guys are married
Domesticity:
OKOKOK the meat and potatoes of this fucking post
Gale REEKS of domesticity
he does not need the Crown of Karsus when he is already the King of Acts of Service
(nsfw content implied) this headcanon of mine still keeps me up at night
during the events of the game, he will do literally anything he can to make your life easier
the reason he started cooking for the group every night is just because he wanted to take that burden off of you.... and quite frankly he knows he's good at it.... but MOSTLY because he wanted to take the burden off of you!
when you start regularly sleeping in his tent with him, he will start keeping an extra pair of camp clothes in there for you, and an extra bed roll
he takes on the role of alchemist, making healing potions for you and anything else that you might need
when you're in pain, he finds a way to modify Burning Hands or Cone of Cold so that he can direct small amounts of it to his hands and then places them on any aches and pains you have (menstruators! rejoice!!)
After the events of the game, once you two are home (wherever that may be), he takes care of most of the household chores unless you beat him to it
He does the grocery shopping, he cooks all of the meals, he does all of the repairs and maintenance, makes the bed every morning, does your laundry (or sends it out to be done), does yard work or gardening, ALL OF IT
you're like how tf does this man have time to beat me to all of the chores AND work a JOB !?
he has to remind you that he's a wizard and can just cast spells that do things like that, including mage hand
but the fact he even takes any care in doing such tasks for you is just the sweetest shit on the planet
he also loves to run soothing baths for you, and will always join you if you ask him to
if he doesn't have to be up early he will bring you breakfast in bed
he leaves little notes around for you to find, some of them have puns on them but most of them say how much he loves you
*1.6k words later* SEND POST !!
#begging y'all to request pregnancy and fatherhood headcanons#i need it so bad dawg#same for rolan#wife#my writing#my hcs#gale dekarios#bg3#headcanons#x reader#smut#fluff#baldurs gate 3#brainrot#x tav
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konig is your roommate
wc: 995
warnings: none just fluff, quick mentions of crying, fem reader (not much metions of female characteristics)
a/n: oh lord my first contribution to the cod fandom after consuming brainrot on here and tiktok for the past couple of months :3 i can def do a pt 2 to this with smut but i just wanted to dip my toes in first and see if anybody even likes this lmao
MINORS DNI (have your age in your bio or you're getting blocked)
How you ended up with a man in his mid 30s that’s retired from the military as a roommate is beyond you
You were a broke teacher living paycheck to paycheck and you needed to find a way to conserve costs
You posted a Craigslist posting (definitely not shady at all) looking for a roommate and he messaged you within the first hour of you posting to see if he could check the place out!
It was mildly jarring seeing a 6’10 man in a black surgical mask show up ringing your doorbell. You couldn’t even see above his chest when you looked through the peephole
He was so quiet when you first tried to spark up a conversation with him that you thought he hated your apartment and maybe even you…
Before he even finished his tour of the apartment he took out an envelope of cash from his pocket that had enough to cover the first three months of rent :0
He moved in all of his belongings the following week while texting you a few times leading up to his move in date just confirming what time he’ll be showing up and if you’re still okay with the agreement
He was equally dry over text as he was in person it was a hard obstacle to jump over to get him to open up with you
The first time he actually started a conversation with you was when he saw you diligently working in the living room on a lesson plan for the upcoming week
At first he just sat down on the couch silently from you just watching you and this didn’t bother you as you’ve come to learn that he is more of an observer than a talker
“Um…what are you working on?”
Your head shot up and a smile spread on your face this was the first time Konig has expressed any interest in your career
“I’m cutting out flashcards I made for the kids so they can match the words to the pictures! I just procrastinated a little bit so I’m doing it all now.” You chuckled and he hummed in acknowledgement
After that conversation the interactions over the months got a lot more comfortable
So here we are now (it’s been about 5 months) and you and Konig are having your weekly movie and pizza night
You let Konig pick the movie this week and you were quite surprised that he chose ‘Inside Out’
Seeing such a large man engrossed in such a cute animated movie made your cheeks hurt with how it made you smile
He was quite surprised when he turned around and saw tears running down your cheeks after watching the scene of Bing Bong die
His eyes widened and without thinking he scooped you up into a hug while you let out all the sad feelings from the characters sacrifice
“Gosh Konig I’m so sorry! That was really silly. I shouldn't be crying so hard over a kid’s movie.”
You looked up at him and your eyes met with his cerulean ones. They had such a tender look to them and it made you and the room feel a lot hotter than what you remember
With a haste Konig pulled down his mask and placed a chaste kiss on your cheek
Needless to say you guys just stared at each other like this: :000 for about a minute before either of you said anything
You were the first one to speak up
“Konig, that was the cutest thing you’ve ever done.”
He just blushed and broke the eye contact and coughed to try and clear his throat
“I, u-um I wanted to do that for a while actually.”
Hearing him say this made you giggle and to reciprocate the feelings you’ve also been holding on to you placed a peck onto his forehead.
“I’ve wanted to do that for a while too so now we’re even! The ball’s in your court now Konig, do with that info what you will.”
You pranced off into your room and giggled while Konig was stuck on the couch just absolutely stunned as to what happened.
The next day you wake up and see a note that was slipped under your door. You open it up and it brings a warm smile to your face
‘Dinner at my place tonight! Wear something nice ;)’ You giggled knowing that Konig wasn’t the biggest fan of being in crowded places so a dinner at home was a perfect plan
You noticed Konig wasn’t home so you decided to go to the grocery store really quick and pick up two bottles of white wine for the night
Once you were back at the house you heard Konig was in the shower so you decided to go take a shower yourself and get yourself ready.
You decided to go the full nine yards and put on a red velvet mini dress and do your hair
When you stepped out you saw Konig already at the stove getting dinner ready. You snuck up behind him and wrapped your arms around his waist
“Whatcha cookin’?” Your voice was muffled into his back and you felt the vibrations of his chuckle
“It's a surprise schatz so go sit in the living room till I’m done”
“What’s a schatz?” All he did was laugh at your response and usher you out the kitchen
You sat in the living room with a pout on your face until you heard Konig call your name to let you come back into the kitchen
Your mouth watered seeing the chicken parmesan dished out and two poured out glasses of wine
“Oh Konig, this is great!” You stood on your tippy toes to give him a kiss of gratefulness
“Careful Y/N if you keep kissing me like that we’ll never get to dinner…” The sound of his voice was deep and a bit gruff
“And is that really a problem?”
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welcome to my projection.
i write sometimes. it’s primarily just to pass the time instead of moping around my room like a lazy bastard but hey-ho, some people seem to gravitate towards the nonsense i write. british comedies by the looks of it *hitting my chest with pride* humour me or i’ll fall into another spiral ‼️
all works listed are owned by me unless stated otherwise, do not copy or use any of my material as your own. minors do not interact. also take note that everything i write is fictional.
→ request info | taglist
→ couples counselling one 1.4k | two 2.4k | f!oc | angst, mentions of sex although nothing explicit
[ aleta and javier peña have been married for ten years, only now do they realise love isn’t reciprocated between them anymore. ]
→ home comforts req | 1k | gn!reader
[ you're struggling to cope after the DEA. fortunately, your partner is there to help you. even with awful jokes. ]
→ dad!simon masterlist
[ where you’ll find your favourite big broody man turning a page in this fatherhood bollocks. a journey. you may even get emotional but don't blame me. thanks. ]
→ ¹ when it rains, it pours smut 6.3k | f!oc
[ after relentless drunken encouragement from 141, simon riley decides to take a girl home whom he's caught eyes with a few too many times. what he doesn't expect however, are the unknown feelings in his chest after her simple acts of affection and pleasure he was always deprived of. ]
→ ² pouring through rainfall part two of the above | 3.4k
[ thea and simon meet again, their year told through seasons and summarised to the ending we all wanted. ]
→ therapy session 2.5k
[ mandatory therapy at base as set by price. simon is not for it, uncooperative mf with glares and the lot featuring a price cameo omg ]
→ johnny's scene 1.3k
[ simon refuses to come to terms with soap’s death and it eats at him. his grief follows him into the house and you’re growing tired of it, ultimately resulting in a fuck off argument. explosions totally happen. or not. ]
→ general headcannons
[ late night thoughts, thrown together with zero process ]
LONG DRABBLES ↓
→ simon hates photos | 500 words
→ pregnant with his third child | 700 words
→ that’ll do, johnny req | 1.1k | gn!reader
[ your soulmate, johnny mactavish. that’s it. that’s the ficlet. ]
→ price teaches you how to smoke req | 700 wc | gn!reader
[ praise, price and cigars, what more could you want? ]
COMFORTABLY NUMB (dr!price au)
〔 you’re slotted right into the service of doctor john price, an elite head of division and self titled marmite character — you either love him or hate him. you personally can’t quite decide, but he knows for certain that you’re not for him. what will you do after being forced to learn under his wing? 〕
→ ¹ welcome to the nhs 3.1k | check warnings
→ first hc
DAMON ALBARN
→ platforms 120k | f!oc | 18+ | complete fic ✓
[ “I’ll show you where things are, and then you can shut up and put your head down. You work for me now.” His accent was sharp.
"I work for money, not for you." In which Amelia's already testing Monday morning is ruined even further by a certain irate man. The two automatically don't get along and soon become sick at the thought of each other. What happens when Amelia finds herself working for the enemy? ]
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Am I the asshole for telling my guy friends I'am a lesbian?
I (29 F, cis, probably bi? A bit ace, definitely like women more) came out around 9 years ago and have mostly dated women. I’ve had a few makeouts with guys, and slept with one guy, but I am still on the fence about my sexuality overall. I like referring to myself as a “bi lesbian, because the lesbian flag is prettier”.
A few years ago, I was in game design school, and was the only girl in my class. The guys were nice, but I still felt a bit othered. I also was paying a lot of attention to how I dressed, and was very feminine. Then one day I talked about my girlfriend, and their attitudes shifted. I started shaking hands in the morning instead of cheek kisses (we’re french), wearing jeans and sweaters, and I became “one of the guys”. People generally assumed I was a lesbian and I wouldn’t really correct it unless it came up. A friend of mine even openly came out, saying I gave him the confidence to do so because of how open I was about my sexuality, and it was just a really nice vibe for the remainder of my time there.
Ever since then, I’ve started being vague about my sexuality, just saying “I’m gay” or “I’m queer”, or “I like girls” when asked, when interacting with guys I wanted to be friends with, or, and that’s, I think, the biggest assholery there, guys that I think were likely to develop a crush on me or try their chances, but I wasn’t interested. If I felt like a friend was becoming too chummy, I’d find the opportunity to be like “oh yeah I’m a lesbian”.
This happened with my current group of friends. There’s one guy I get along with super well, and he’s awesome, one of my best friends, but I felt that he was treating me a bit differently and feared he’d develop feelings for me, so I really hammered in the fact that I was “a lesbian”.
Today, he asked to talk to me in private, and he confessed his feelings for me. He said he would regret it if he didn’t say anything, and that he values our friendship a lot and doesn’t want things to change between us, but he needed to get it off his chest. I thanked him, and turned him down gently, being like “obviously I can’t reciprocate because I’m a lesbian…” but also pointing out that there were other factors that influenced it (distance, culture, general outlook on life and certain political issues, religion…) but it was a very fruitful conversation, and we ended up chatting about stuff and reiterating how much our friendship counted for us, and how much we liked spending time together as friends.
I would like to say I feel guilty, but the truth is I don’t… It feels easier for me to say I’m a lesbian, and give me a way out of these conversations. I feel like if I went in depth into my feelings towards my sexuality, I’d give some of my friends false hopes that they might have a chance with me and ruin the vibe of our friend group.
Should I come clean? Or is it ok to try to protect myself in this manner?
What are these acronyms?
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elaborate on tori springs autism
Ok I’m gonna start this by saying that the topic I’m most passionate about in the entire universe is Tori Spring (As well as Michael, Charlie and Oliver) being a very autistic coded character and so this post is a very long info dump about it because it consumes almost all of my waking thoughts.
Anyway, quick summary, I believe that Tori Spring has autism because of her social struggles, mannerisms and general outlook on life. Like how she always talks about not fitting in, she gets really obsessed with specific things (Star Wars and Solitaire) and she struggles to express her emotions, often leading up to an intense emotional outburst (Autistic meltdown).
Forewarning - I am obviously not a licensed psychiatrist (I’m literally just a mentally ill teenage girl) and so I don’t actually have the capability to diagnose anyone, I just have a lot of time to waste studying the DSM-5-TR (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Health Disorders, Fifth Edition, Text Revision) and analysing Tori Spring. Also, Autism is different for everyone and this is just one perspective of it based on research and the DSM-5 which obviously doesn’t cover every autistic persons experience. OH, Also, I tried really hard to focus on using ‘person-first’ language when I was writing it but I may have messed up a few times so let me know if I did! Also let me know if there is anything else incorrect here so I can fix it :)
Ok now that’s out of the way I will start with what we know is true: Tori Spring likely struggles with Depression. It’s a generally accepted fact amoungst the fandom due to Tori’s negative outlook on life and suicidal ideation (at the end of Solitiare). Now, why is this relevant? Well Autism and Depression are often comorbid diagnosis, people with Autism being 4 times more likely than Neurotypical’s to experience a diagnosis of Depression.
So she’s already got that going for her, let’s take a look at Solitaire and some excerpts from that which highlight different aspects of the Autism diagnostic criteria in the DSM-5. This is based of what I annotated the first time I read Solitaire about a year ago there may be more that I missed.
A. Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction
Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity, ranging, for example, from abnormal social approach and failure of normal back-and-forth conversation; to reduced sharing of interests, emotions, or affect; to failure to initiate or respond to social interactions.
- “No- Tori just held a conversation by herself” - Becky Allen, Solitaire, Page 28
- “I think you’re breaking down.” I cough loudly. “I’m not a car.” Solitaire, page 311.
In this quote Tori is taking things wayyy too literally which is common amoungst many people with Autism due to the way they process information.
- “I think… it’s unlikely that anyone would want to catch a grenade for anyone else. Or jump I doesn’t of a train for anyone else. That’s very counterproductive.” Solitaire, Page 45
Again the literal thinking (I also have this exact thought every time I hear this song).
- “I drift away and picture myself….” Solitaire, Page 33
Ok so I didn’t want to include this entire quote because it’s really long but essentially she’s thinking about what it would be like to be, for lack of better word, neurotypical. To be confident in social interactions and always say the right thing, say things that people are interested in and to not be awkward or shy.
- “I quite like cats, and I saw it for the first time at lunch in the cafeteria. I almost felt like I’d made a new friend,” Solitaire, Page 68
Often people with Autism prefer interaction with animals, this is theorised to be because social interaction with animals can compensate for a lack of social interaction with peers. Oh also a lot of people say that cats are kinda autistic coded animals because of their similar mannerisms to people with autism.
- “Emotions are humanities fatal disease.” Solitaire, Page 346
2. Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction, ranging, for example, from poorly integrated verbal and nonverbal communication; to abnormalities in eye contact and body language or deficits in understanding and use of gestures; to a total lack of facial expressions and nonverbal communication.
- “I think it’s important to make the effort. Social conventions and all,” Solitaire, page 43
- “I need to control my staring” Solitaire, page 45
3. Deficits in developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships, ranging, for example, from difficulties adjusting behavior to suit various social contexts; to difficulties in sharing imaginative play or in making friends; to absence of interest in peers.
- “Then again, I don’t feel very similar to anyone at all” Solitaire, Page 20
Many people who have Autism (Especially Women) often report that they don’t “fit in” with their peers, there are a variety of reasons for this but it is often related to masking and just generally struggling to socialise the same way their Neurotypical peers do.
- “There’s a time and a place for being normal. For most people, normal is their default setting. But for some, like you and me, normal is something we have to bring out, like putting on a suit for a posh dinner.” - Michael Holden, Solitaire, Page 61
This quote from Michael is one of my favourites in Solitaire and I feel heavily related to the autistic experience. It pretty much perfectly describes the experience of autistic masking.
- “I thought it’d be nice to try and rekindle this friendship. But it’s too hard. I don’t want to talk to anyone.” Solitaire, Page 99
- “I’m no expert on social etiquette.” Solitaire, Page 140
B. Restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities, as manifested by at least two of the following, currently or by history (examples are illustrative, not exhaustive; see text):
1. Stereotyped or repetitive motor movements, use of objects, or speech (e.g., simple motor stereotypes, lining up toys or flipping objects, echolalia, idiosyncratic phrases).
- “I kick the floor and spin. The world hurricanes around me. I don’t know how long I do this,” Solitaire, Page 84
This quote is just Tori stimming, she stims quite a bit in the book but this was just one example I picked.
- “I watch that scene three times and then turn it off,” Solitaire, Page 102
- “Playing ‘Fix You’ by Coldplay over and over on repeat” Solitaire, (I forgot the page)
These are another two examples of stimming that I wanted to include because it shows different forms of stimming (repeatedly watching or listening to something) that aren’t talked about as much.
2. Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behavior (e.g., extreme distress at small changes, difficulties with transitions, rigid thinking patterns, greeting rituals, need to take same route or eat same food every day).
- “It’s not a very funny programs but I still seem to watch at least on episode every single day.” Solitaire, Page 100
While this could just be because it’s on tv I figured if she really didn’t enjoy the show she could definitely watch something else. This is probably an example of “preservation” which is a coping mechanism that helps people with autism to find comfort in predictability and routine.
3. Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus (e.g., strong attachment to or preoccupation with unusual objects, excessively circumscribed or perseverative interests).
- “The matter of the fact is that Star Wars was actually a major obsession of mine when I was a kid” Solitaire, Page 24
Apparently most children don’t have extreme, obsessions that consume all of their waking thoughts (I cannot attest to this, I’ve been hyper fixating on random stuff since I was like 2). Anyway, hyper fixation is a sign of Autism which is often overlooked in girls because it’s usually something related to pop culture and is ignored as just being “fangirling”.
- “I have already stuck all of Solitaires previous posts. My wall is completely covered.” Solitaire, Page 297
This is only one example but if you’ve read solitaire you’ll know that Tori gets very obsessed with solitaire and especially toward the end of the book I’d argue that it does start to become quite a hyper fixation.
4. Hyper- or hyporeactivity to sensory input or unusual interest in sensory aspects of the environment (e.g. apparent indifference to pain/temperature, adverse response to specific sounds or textures, excessive smelling or touching of objects, visual fascination with lights or movement).
- “I started to feel all this hair on my forehead and my cheeks and how it plastered my shoulders and back and I felt it creeping around me like worms, choking me to death.” Solitaire, Page 15
So this is an example of sensory overload, while this can affect anyone, it is very common in people with Autism as they often have a hyper awareness of sensory stimuli, causing it to become very overwhelming. So this can happen with things like sound as well and I didn’t put it in here but there is another quote when she’s at Becky’s party talking about how loud it is.
- “At some point I fall asleep but I can here all these creaky noises coming from outside” Solitaire, page 65
So this quote isn’t exactly that special but it’s the way she brings it up every time she sleeps, like she’s so hyper aware of the sounds outside that it begins to prevent her from sleeping.
Here are some other miscellaneous quotes that I wanted to throw in because I think they are relevant:
- “Who would I be,” I ask at one point, “if I were any of the Big Bang theory characters?”
“Sheldon,” - Charlie Spring, Solitaire, Page 100
This quote is nothing really I just thought it was interesting that Charlie related Tori to Sheldon as he’s generally seen as another autistic coded character (No matter how problematic that may be, I haven’t actually seen the show I just know a lot of people with Autism think it’s poor representation)
- “I don’t want people to try and understand why I am the way I am, because I should be the first person to understand that and I don’t understand yet.” Solitaire, (I lost the page)
- “I’ve got to do something,” I keep saying,” Solitaire, Page 272
Ok so throughout Solitaire (and ‘This Winter’ and the ‘Heartstopper’ graphic novels) Tori displays a very high sense of empathy. Main examples of this are with her brother Charlie and in that scene where Ben Hope gets beat up at the Solitaire meet up. Stereotypically people with autism have a low sense of empathy but actually it’s a spectrum and many people with autism (more often girls) experience a heightened sense of empathy.
- “Before boys, before sex, before alcohol, before she started to move on while I stayed exactly where I was.” Solitaire, Page 353
In girls signs of Autism generally begin to manifest more during their tween/teenage years. Girls who appeared to be progressing at a similar rate to their peers may begin to fall behind due to the increased social and academic pressure. This quote could however be more related to Tori being asexual, which we will get into now.
Asexuality and Autism
As confirmed in volume 5 of Heartstopper, Tori Spring is asexual. People with Autism are 2-3 times more likely to identify as a part of the LGBTQ+ community. Especially, the aroace community. The studies I looked at said around 30% of people with Autism also identified as aro/ace, this is also more common in women with Autism than men.
Autistic Meltdowns
So in addition to those direct quotes a repeated occurrence throughout Solitaire is Tori’s emotions bubbling up and eventually bursting out… and what could these outburst actually be? Autistic Meltdown.
The main examples that come to mind for Tori are the fight with Michael, that scene where Charlie asks if she’s ok and she starts crying and the scene where she’s talking to Lucas about Charlie at the concert.
Safe Foods
Ok Tori’s obsession with diet lemonade is kind of iconic. People with Autism often tend to have ‘safe foods’ that don’t trigger sensory issues, usually these are specific things with consistent, safe, tastes. For Tori, this is diet lemonade. Another thing to point out about this is the fact that she always uses straws which is possibly either a sensory thing or a routine :)
Ok, that’s about it… I don’t believe anyone would actually read all that but if you did… damn, thanks :))
Some of the resources I used:
https://www.allohealth.care/healthfeed/sexuality/asexuality-and-autism
https://neurodivergentinsights.com/autism-infographics/autism-and-sexual-diversity?format=amp
https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2016/08/the-bond-between-animals-and-the-autistic/623372/
https://socialcaretalk.org/experiences/life-autism-spectrum/autism-feeling-different-wanting-to-fit-in/
https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/hcp-dsm.html
https://jackiesilvernutrition.com/articles/autism-safe-food/
#Tori spring#Victoria ‘Tori’ spring#tori spring kin#tori and michael#solitaire alice oseman#solitaire#solitaire book#sprolden#michael holden#heartstopper book#heartstopper netflix#heartstopper#charlie spring#nick and charlie#autistic Tori spring#that girl is peak autism coding#autism coded#autism#autistic characters#autistic community
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goodness gracious 20. brb x oc
a/n: i literally winged a lot of info here so pls do let me know if i fucked up or not aaaa
pairing: plus size!oc x rooster
warnings: suggestive?? i think, Rooster missing Bea like the whipped man he is, mentions of Carole's disease ( i didn't specify or go into too much detail but just to be safe)
chapters:
1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16/17/18/19
(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!!)
taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @shrimping-for-all @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix
@lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls
@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey
-
He smells lavender. It’s the first thing he can understand, he smells lavender. Rooster moans a bit in his sleep, rolling over on the mattress to touch something warm to his left, his sleeping self just smiles happily when he buries his face on strands of hair, the smell of lavender getting stronger.
His arms wrap around her waist from behind, humming deeply in his throat when her behind touches his pelvis. One of her hands came up to touch his face, making him blink his eyes open, the blurred colors turning into the figure of Beatrice smiling back at him. “Hmmm…hey…” he says hoarsely, voice still coated with sleep, “G’mornin’...” she just smiled even more, rolling in his arms to face him.
Strange, did he dream he was deployed? Because this place looked a lot like his room. “Good morning.” she whispers, pressing her lips to his in a drowsy kiss, exhaling through her nose before pulling back “How did you sleep?”
He hums, burying his face on her neck, inhaling that sweet floral scent, ingraining it in his mind, “Fine.” but something seemed off, neither of them were clothed, which would mean something happened last night but he couldn’t remember anything. While pressing kisses to her neck, he muttered out a question, “Did we just fall asleep naked?” he asks, open mouthed kisses hot on her skin, “Because I don’t remember doing anything, pretty girl, which is a crime in itself already.”
Beatrice laughs, her fingernails raking through his scalp only making a shudder dart through him, “No.” another laugh, “I’m not really here,Brad.”
That made him pause,his head lifting from her neck to stare her down with a confused glance. He blinked twice, looking at her bare body covered with his sheets, the smell of lavender, her laugh… How was she not here? Rooster chuckled in disbelief, “Very funny,” but she didn’t say anything, only gave him a sad look, “...you are here, how can you not be here?”
“I’m back in Cali.” she whispers, cupping his cheek, “You were deployed, remember?” Rooster’s mouth parted in shock and he sat up on his bed, the sheets falling to his hips as he looked down at her with complete mayhem going through his mind. Beatrice sits up as well, wrapping the sheets around her torso, smiling sadly at him, “You’ve been gone for a week already.”
Rooster frowns, suddenly feeling something cold hit his chest, looking down to see his dog tags and her ring right between his pectorals. He hooks his thumb through the chain, lifting the ring up to his line of vision, the curved lettering seeming to shine brighter just so he could have it ingrained in his memory. “But…” he drops the ring, rubbing his hands over his face, “But I can touch you, smell you. This isn’t true, right?” but she just nods once more and he feels the ground beneath his feet crumble, his back hitting the backboard of his dream induced bed, “...I…”
Dream Beatrice stood to her knees, wrapping her arms around his shoulders to which he reciprocated quickly, wrapping his own arms around her waist tightly. He doesn’t know how long they’ve been like that, but he kept her there, his nose buried on her neck and his hand cupping the back of her head, “It’s okay,Roos.” she whispers against his ear, “It’s okay.”
“I miss you.” he whispers on her skin, “I do.”
“I miss you too.” Beatrice pulls back from his neck, then settles down on his lap with her hands cupping his cheeks, “I miss you a lot, you don’t even know it…but you have a job to do.” he lifted his brown irises to meet her green ones, his heart lurching when he sees her smile, “Don’t pressure yourself, you hear me? You need to focus so you don’t get hurt, so you can come back safe.”
Rooster’s chest heaved slightly, the panic that creeped up his body slowly dissipated under the weight of her words, instead something else wanted to come out, something he’s been holding on since before he left, “Bea, I lo-” she pressed her hand to his lips, giving him a sweet smile he swore it could stop any armed conflict.
“Tell me when you come back. So we both can admit it to each other.” she whispers, replacing her hand with her lips, kissing him as deeply as she could, pulling back to press their foreheads together, looking at him affectionately, brushing her thumbs on his jawline, “Rooster…wake up.”
Wake up.
His eyes snapped open, blinking confusedly at his surroundings, seeing that instead of the spacious area of his room, he was in a bunk bed with someone snoring loudly above him. Someone that weirdly sounded like Fanboy. Rooster then sighed heavily, rubbing his eyes with the tips of his fingers before he reached under his pillow to grab the phone just to check the time. Four thirty in the morning, he’d end up waking up anyway.
He unlocked his phone to see he had one new message, this past week has been so chaotic and fast paced he just had time to check his phone for meager tasks such as setting up his alarm, not to mention he couldn't do much since this was a little to no contact mission. He opened the app to see Beatrice’s name pop up, his heart clenched when he read the message but he smiled, “Sweet girl, god damn it.” he whispered mainly to himself, managing to write back a reply - one week too late - just so she could keep her mind at ease.
“Sorry for the late reply pretty girl, things have been kinda insane lately…but I’ll do my best to be safe, okay?” he pauses his typing, licking his lips then gets back to it, “I miss you. Whole lot…I’ll see if I’m able to give you a video call soon yeah?I just want to see your pretty face. See you, gorgeous.”
He almost finished with an ‘I love you’ but he remembered how the dream Beatrice told him not to, to say it when he returned.It hurt because he wanted to tell her so bad, because if what happened was some sort of sign, then Beatrice - the real one - felt the same way about him. He drops the phone to his chest, rubbing his hands over his face before they go through his hair so they interlace behind his head.
Rooster tried to inhale the air, hoping he’d smell her lavender scent but got nothing of the sort. He frowns a bit, biting the corner of his lip while keeping his gaze on the bunk above him, trying to calm his brain but all he could see was Beatrice in his dream. She looked real, sounded real, felt real, but she was miles and miles away from him and it sucked so much. But he promised her to be careful, to do his best to keep safe and come back for her. He lifted her ring from the chain, rubbing the writing with the pad of his thumb, the corner of his lips quirking in a little smile.
She really was something special, wasn’t she?
He couldn’t help but wonder what his mother would say about Bea if she was alive. Knowing her she’d think Bea was adorable, give him a knowing look too, she’d know he was in love with her before he even could…he missed her a lot. It’s been just a few years since she passed and he missed her presence everyday ever since.
When she started to get sick, she didn’t tell him at first because she didn’t want to worry him - of course - but he noticed something was off. He was holding her hand when he heard the diagnosis, he remembered feeling so small, like the time he found out his father wasn’t coming home but he hadn’t let go of her hand. She was still strong even when she couldn’t walk without assistance anymore, sometimes even cracking jokes to the nurses or doctors.
He admits that when he figured out that Mav was protecting him because his mother asked him to, honestly it didn’t take long to figure out, he was very conflicted. Mav didn’t want him to hate her and he didn’t want to hate her either, but he didn’t like how he wasn’t given a choice. Rooster needed time alone and wouldn’t talk to anyone for a few days, he’d just keep it to himself in his apartment or office, just until he got better.
It was during this time he took a weekend to visit her, looking down at her grave - right next to his dad’s -, placing fresh flowers on the vase he bought her then sitting down in front of it. He talked to her, let out all his feelings, his frustrations without getting an answer back. He wasn’t a spiritual guy, but when a little yellow bird landed on his knee he felt like it was his mother apologizing for what happened. He felt a lot better later, of course he sometimes has certain thoughts about it - like that time he stayed with Bea at the Hard Deck playing the piano and she, being her adorable kind self, managed to calm him down. - but he harbored no hate for his mother.
Neither for Mav anymore, he was still a pain in his ass, but his hatred for him diminished exponentially. Which he appreciated, in all honesty, his anger towards Pete was getting too into his head, to the point he was doing dangerous shit without a reason. Now he knew everything he had to know about Bradley, but especially knew he was head over heels for the green eyed brunette, whom he met when he least expected to.
His phone vibrated on his chest and he picked it up, unlocking it only to see Beatrice replied to him.
Bea (4:36)
‘Roos, don’t worry about taking too long to reply. I know it’s a complicated mission :), I don’t want to distract you…and I miss you too, a whole whole lot! <3 I’d love to have a video call, whenever you are able to do it okay?’
Rooster groaned, pressing his phone to his face, trying to hold back his grin, “Fuck she’s so cute.” he whispered to himself while Fanboy snored above him, “She’s so cute!” he pulled the phone back to type a response, happy she was awake already and they could at least chat for a bit.
You (4:38)
‘I’ll let you know gorgeous. Isn’t it late for you right now?’
Bea (4:38)
‘Not really :) is it for you?’
You (4:40)
‘It’s 440 right now. I’ll get up in a bit too’
Bea (4:41)
‘You lost your sleep? Did something happen?’
You (4:42)
‘I am just used to waking up early, this isn’t so different.’
He didn’t want to tell her he had a dream that took all the sleep out of him, because he felt she’d be a lot more worried than she’d usually be.He knew he’d have to get ready, so unfortunately he had to cut the convo short.
You (4:43)
‘I gotta go gorgeous, lots of things to do today.’
Bea (4:43)
‘That’s okay! :) I’m just happy to hear from you Roos. We can talk whenever you are able to okay? Pls don’t push yourself :(‘
You (4:44)
‘I promise, gorgeous. Talk to you soon, okay? Bye <3’
Bea (4:44)
‘Bye! <3 ‘
He stared at her message for a few more minutes, his smile only widening before he sighed, putting his phone aside to kick the covers out of him.
-
The next time they talked was when Bradley finally managed to get some time for the two of them by a video call on his laptop. He was still suited up when he made the call, it was the middle of the night for him so if his timezone calculation was correct, it’d be something about nine or ten o’clock for her. He managed to get himself alone in a small office space at the base they were staying, Mav making sure he’d have enough time to talk to Beatrice without interruptions.
He checked his appearance on his own camera, running his hand through his hair and combing his mustache, before he clicked on the icon to start the call. It took just a few seconds before Beatrice’s face appeared, “Brad?” he was so thankful at the strong connection they had there, he wouldn’t be able to handle it if this turned out crackled. When her eyes focused on him she smiled so brightly he thought he could feel it even through the screen.
“Hi pretty girl.” he smiles back, crossing his arms to lean forward a bit, “Good morning to you.”
She laughed, picking the laptop along with its cable carrying it down the stairs until she placed it on her coffee table, “There, good morning–I mean, night!” she tilted the screen a bit more, “Can you see me?”
“Hmhm, sure can.” he couldn’t help but admire her outfit, while nothing sensual about it, it was just so her: a gray Bon Jovi t-shirt that was loose on the collar exposing the curve of her shoulder, with black runner shorts that showed the expanse of her legs, her hair was up in its usual bun and her cheek was dirty with paint…paint? “What were you doing before I called?” she made a confused noise, then he gestured to his own cheek, “You got something there.”
Beatrice blinked, touching where he said and looking at her fingers, “Oh!” she giggles, “Oh I was painting outside.I guess I didn’t see it.”
Rooster made a face, clearly intrigued, “Painting? I didn’t know you could paint.”
“Oh,I haven’t done that in months,” she says, tucking strands of hair behind her ears.”I found my old art supplies from college and decided it was a good thing to put it all to good use.” she got into a cross legged position, leaning forward to take a sip of her water bottle.
“What were you painting? Can you show me?”
“It’s not done yet.” she murmurs, giving him a shy smile, “Plus I’m very rusty, I’d like to show you when I’m finished with it.” she gives him one look, a laugh bursting out past her lips, “Don’t pout! You gotta be patient!”
He just pouted even more, “My girlfriend is an artist and I can’t even see her work.” she scoffs, muttering a ‘i wouldn’t go that far’ “Come ooon, give me one hint then.”
Beatrice pursed her lips, looking away towards her backyard with her fingernail tapping the red bottle on her hand, “Well…” she drawled off, “It’s…hmmm…it’s something that I like a lot.”
“...Is it…Ripley?” she shakes her head, “Then, the Golden Girls,” another shake, “Lord of the Rings?” when she just laughs he sighs deeply, “Oh fine, then I guess I’ll have to wait until it’s done because I have no idea what it’d be.” which he could do, he just wanted to talk to her right now and knowing another one of her interests was good enough.
“I can show you something I doodled though,” she says, leaning out of frame where he could hear the sound of paper being messed with, “I was checking if my pencils were still any good– they were very expensive– and I drew Jojo.” She reappeared with a thick drawing book with a teal colored cover. She flipped the cover open then turned it for him to see, “There, can you see it right?”
It took him a few seconds to make out the drawing, he even fixed his own screen to make it better for him to see, but he couldn’t help the surprised sound that made out of his mouth. It was Jolene, sleeping in a little ball with her sock monkey tucked under her chin, done in shades of browns and reds and oranges and he could swear he could see the texture of her fur in the drawing, she was surrounded by a circle of blues and grays that definitively represented Bea’s couch. “You drew this?” she nods with a smile, “Bea, holy shit, it’s amazing!”
Beatrice’s face turned red, her own eyes dropping to her drawing, “You think so?”
“Think so– babe, it’s incredible! You call this a doodle? How is this a doodle, it's like–like a real picture!” He smiles when she tries to cover her face with the notebook, but peeks at him over the pages in the end, “Babe,I’m serious, it’s amazing. If this is what you call a doodle I can’t wait to see the paintings you end up doing.”
“You are making me blush,” she whispered, still hiding behind the notebook.
“Good, it’s one of my favorite hobbies,” he chuckles, leaning on a fist as she laughs, placing the notebook aside, “How have you been?”
She shrugs, the gray shirt sliding down a bit more on her shoulder and he almost told her to stop when she tugged it back, “I’m okay. Been helping the bar as usual…Penny ordered a better ice machine,” he arched his eyebrows at her, “Yeah, the old one finally went out and she got one that has those thin ice, you know? That looks like glass. So we’ve been organizing the bar for when it arrives, which means we won’t be able to open the bar until it’s all settled too.” she paused, rubbing her neck nervously, “I also…talked to my family.”
“You did?”
“Yeah…”
“How was it?”
Beatrice chuckled, grabbing one of her pillows to place on her lap, while she played with the tips of her fingers, “Well…it was okay. They are very…” she thought her words for a second, “Intrigued to meet you. But, it’s not bad. I told them a little bit about you and…you know, they got curious which was better than the outcome I thought in my head.” she says with a small sigh, “My dad especially wants to meet you because I said you played the piano and so does he…so…you got that going for you.”
“I didn’t know your dad could play.” he says quietly, looking behind himself when he thought he heard someone coming, then facing her again,”What does he play?”
“Oh, I couldn’t tell you.He plays a lot of songs, he started learning at church when he was a boy, all by ear.” she hugs the pillow tighter to herself, “He used to play for us whenever he got back from the bank, before dinner or on the weekends, it was very fun. So…yeah! I told them I’d talk to you whenever it was good enough for you to meet them, so we’d get organized.”
He smiled softly, his heart screaming at how she wanted to make sure he’d be comfortable whenever meeting her family members, “You are so cute,” he says without missing a beat, enjoying how everytime he says that she looks surprised, “Cutest thing in the whole fucking world.I’m going to kiss you so much when I get back.”
“Roos…” she whispered, her cheeks turning into that lovely shade of crimson he adored so much, but while she seemed to be shy, her eyes shone with something else, “Is…kissing all you plan to do? Just curious…”
His tongue peeked out of his mouth to wet his lips, eyes dropping to where her shoulder was exposed, “Kissing is just the beginning of all the things I’ll do to you.” he shouldn’t delve too much into it, he wasn’t sure if his suit would be able to hide anything from the others once he finished the call “Just you wait.”
“...well…do you have a date for when you’ll come back?”
Rooster sighs, leaning back on his chair to stretch his arms, his joints popping pleasantly when he does so, “I think we’ll be home during Halloween week.” he says, running his hands through his hair once more, “If my math is right.”
“Oh, okay.” she says while adjusting herself on the couch, her lips curled into a little smile that faltered immediately once she met his eyes“...Oh, i’m sorry, we’ve been talking so much I didn’t even ask– how,how are you?”
Rooster chuckles, rubbing his eyes with the tips of his fingers, “I’m fine…missing you a lot.” he winks in her direction, only to receive a soft laugh in response, “But I’m fine, really, it’s a bit…stressful but it’s expected.” he couldn’t go into details about what the mission itself was, again he didn’t want to worry her even more and also because it was a high secretive mission no one besides them should know about.
“How’s everyone?”
“Everyone is okay, even Hangman,” her soft scolded ‘Rooster’ made his heart leap with happiness, “I’m serious, everyone is okay. I’ll tell them you asked for their wellbeing.” she seemed very pleased with his response, giving him a grin that brightened the whole room. He stood there, with his hand supporting his cheek, just looking at her. His stomach churning and flipping with nerves he figured out before he was deployed. The words tickled his lips, begging to come out but he held it back, no, he’d tell her once he steps back into known solid ground. He wanted to bury his face in her neck to smell her lavender scent, for real this time, “Oh,” he snaps his fingers, suddenly remembering something, “Look,” he digs his hand inside his suit, hooking his thumb on the chain to pull out his dog tags.
Beatrice’s gasp was lovely to hear, “My ring!” she leaned forward so her face doubled in size on his own end, “You–you put it with your dog tags…”
“Figured it’d be safer than keeping it anywhere else,” he smiles, lifting the ring for emphasis,”So I wouldn’t lose it–Bea?” She was quiet, looking at him with shining eyes, her lower lip trembling, “Bea, what’s wrong?”
“You…” she sniffled, pointing a finger towards him, “You put it with your dog tags…my ring…that’s—that’s the sweetest thing, I-I’ve ever seen.” her voice cracked at the end of her sentence and she hiccuped a soft cry, wiping her tears with the back of her fingers, “I-I’m not mad, Roos…I-I just thought you’d keep it in your pocket o-or, you know,” she laughs tearfully, pulling up her shirt to wipe her eyes this time “I-I didn’t know you could d-d-do that.”
He immediately relaxed once she let him know she was not upset, then his heart once again did somersaults at her confession of how much it meant to her to see her ring with his dog tags “Safest place.” he smiles with the words leaving his lips in a whisper, he wished he was there to hold her close and wipe her tears away, but he couldn’t, not yet at least. He tries to hold back his yawn without much success, “I’m okay,” he replies before Bea could say something, “I’m not that tired.”
Her eyes, while still shining with tears, softened, “I think you should go to bed,Brad…you have to sleep.”
“...I don’t wanna.” he says much like a child, “Then I’d have to stop talking to you.”
Beatrice smiled, “You will talk to me again…please Brad…for me?” oh when she asked like that, with those big eyes looking at him and lashes fluttering…how could he say no?
Rooster sighs, rubbing his eyes with both hands, “Fine…but only because you asked.” he says with yet another yawn breaking his words, then he shakes his head, “I’ll see when I can talk to you soon again, okay?” she nods with the same sweet look on her face, which makes him groan at her cuteness “You are too cute, god damn it…I better go before I just decide to not sleep.”
“You better not do that.” she giggles, “...I’ll talk to you soon, okay Brad?”
“You bet, gorgeous. I’ll let you know when I’m able…bye Bea.”
“Bye,Brad.”
He’s the one that ends the call, the image of her blowing him a kiss before the screen turned black would definitely make him dream with her yet again…which he wasn’t complaining about one bit.
Just a few more weeks and he’d see her again.
#bradley rooster bradshaw#rooster bradshaw#bradley bradshaw x oc#top gun maverick#bradley bradshaw x reader
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A bunch of fey Blue Moon info.
Little rant about Fay Blue Moon I guess. They weren't ever really supposed to have like, a specie identification. They are in nature not a species. But the more I talk about them the more I basically word them as a specie. So let's just do that.
Of course we're keeping in the whole nature part of their life. Every single one of Blue Moon species is indeed embodying the nature of a warning. Something that you should beware. And they are the punishment for not heeding that warning. That is all the same.
But, these type of fey sort of morph to the environment. Most fay do. And that's how I imagine lot of them. But most of them have a motif that you can classify them in. Other than their nature.
Blue Moon species almost always embodies some sort of predator. For Blue Moon it's a dragonfly. For others it could be a fox, other predatory bugs. Etc etc. But whatever predator they embody does impact how they live.
These species also usually have a calm or herbivore creature with them too. In Blue Moon's case it's a grasshopper. But this part of their biology is also random. Usually taking on the traits of a fae that embodies that sort of soft creature. For Blue Moon it's grasshopper Faye.
Now we get on to the specifics of how the impacts Blue Moon. Both of the animalistic traits that Blue Moon base themselves on, are insects. Insects usually hibernate or die in the winter. Blue Moon unfortunately falls under the same fate. They are supposed to go into a hibernation like state. But due to being the only warning type fey in the area. Blue Moon has to force themselves to be awake. Even when their body fights it.
While their shape bends their bodily needs. It also somewhat bends their nature and activities. While the chosen predator part is a dragonfly. Dragonfly fey is not the main thing they embody. They also embody grasshopper fae. A sort of stranger danger type of warning. Unfortunately Blue Moon takes the traits of grasshopper fae a little bit more than dragonfly fey.
There's a part of their nature that deeply wants to weave the grass and build small little colonies. The only problem is that blue moons species is usually solitary. Mostly because of their cannibalistic tendencies. So that inherent instinct goes nowhere. Blue Moon weaves grass for no one. It is their hobby only for themselves. They are filled with a sense of needing to share, But can do nothing due to their solitary nature.
While Blue Moon species like any fae species has various shapes. It unfortunately makes meeting a mate very hard. Usually due to the fact that they look so different. They can also be different sizes. Meaning that if Blue Moon ever tried to find a mate. They would have to find a mate of the same size and similar like body shape. Which can be hard to find. Plus they usually like to stay to one area. It's usually the more male inclined of Blue Moons species to go out and find mates. Since blue moon doesn't lean towards any way. They simply take the female role of staying at home. But there has been no other warning type fay that have wandered towards Blue Moons territory. Probably because it doesn't have any easy food.
At this point Blue Moon needs to migrate themselves. As they have grown to be too fearsome in their area. Which is usually the driving point or any warning type fey to leave. Unfortunately like I said it's usually the more male inclined warning fae that migrate. Females do not migrate unless they have a mate to go with. Blue Moon has no mate, so they do not have the instincts to migrate. While Blue Moon does not lean either way. Because they are not leading masculine in any way, They are stuck with the female auto instincts. Basically most warning type fey are female first and can go more male if they want to.
If Blue Moon were to ever find a mate. Being the reciprocant they would be the judger. Although since Blue Moon doesn't lean either way. They could do their own display. A sort of double display.
There species mating displays are you really indicative of what creatures they are mimicking. And this is where they're aggressive mimic actually comes in turn. As it is what they use around their own species. So Blue Moon would do a dance like a dragonfly.
Interpret that however the hell you want. But by the end of the dance or the display. They do the deed and usually either leave or stay together. That would always depend on the female role. As they can either leave with the one the male or keep their territory. This is technically what Blue Moon is waiting for, and just isn't happening.
Trying to think of other things... Well I guess I could re-explain how Blue Moons diet works.
Basically is a warning for Faye. They eat faye. This usually does not require eating an entire faye. But it does require blood at least every day. They have to get a good bite of blood everyday or else they will start to starve. The more days they starve, The more they're appetite increases. Most warning type thing need to eat a good section of faye meat though, once a week. Just once a week. And it doesn't necessarily need to be a whole corpse. But it needs to be meat. Not just blood.
And I can't think of anything else to explain. Hope that was fun of you guys to know.
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a question if you dont mind! i can imagine my child (aka Nikita) being a clueless fuck when it comes to flower symbolism and stuff and i can just as see someone passing him a bouquet of flowers which indirectly says "fuck you" (im 1000% sure it indirectly came from bernard) (yes that was intentional) in flower language and i wonder, how would the RO's react to it when they realize what it truly means. even better if they're in relationship stage and MC thinks its very 'sweet' of the person who sent it them LOL
(p.s. for more info, the bouquet consists of geraniums (symbolising stupidity), foxglove (insincerity), meadowsweet (uselessness), yellow carnations (you have disappointed me) and orange lilies (hatred) quite the striking bouquet with an equally loathing underlying message
To be fair, I think interpretations of the symbolisms behind flowers can differ greatly depending on one’s culture. But anyway, this is still a fun ask so why not? :))
Alonzo: “Sweet? Are you kidding me? Did you also think I was sweet when we first met? No, don’t answer that.” In a lower, calmer tone -- or what you at least assume is calm -- they mumble, “Who sent you this?”
Wesley: Gently, very gently, they say, “I think... I think someone’s laughing at you right now.” They look at you then, something akin to frustration pushing its way out. “Would you want to reciprocate?”
Owen: “Oh, uh, they’re good. They look good.” He clears his throat guiltily, followed by a nervous chuckle because he’s aware he’s lying. He doesn’t want you, however, to lose the smile over what might be a trivial thing. “Like, very good.” (If it happens again, his reaction will be a lot different.)
Jade: “Well, I suppose they’re still flowers. And harmless.” There’s a knit in her brows that confuses you, but before you manage to bring it up, she continues. “Oh, by the way, you’ve been pranked.” (She’ll find out who did it, though, and will return the favor).
#e alonzo#f wesley#owen russell#jade stein#character scenarios#hollowed minds series#hollowed minds#interactive fiction#interactive story#interactive game#interactive novel#choicescript#cscript#cyoa#dashingdon#if game#ask#taconextdoor#writing#wip#if wip#hosted games
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Hey There! General Info Time!
I'm pretty new to rping, only been doing it for about two years now with some close friends, but after seeing all the talented people in the Helluva RP community I wanted to jump in and see what friends I can make, and what stories we can write together. Oh and I go by She/Her pronouns, despite all my muses being dudes at the moment.
Muses (May add more if I feel like it): Robofizz, Striker, and Chaz from Helluva boss, though I'll be doing some pretty canon divergent things with this, so these are my interpretations of these guys.
Few rules. Some are likely to change though, others aren't.
Don't god mod for one. I wanna see how our writing styles mix into something interesting, not how you soley want things to go, if you want that, write it yourself, it's no fun for the other person.
Be nice! Your allowed to be mean to my characters, that's all fine but don't be mean to me for no good reason, if you aren't gonna be respectful then I don't wanna write with you.
I'm pretty open to most ships! Others I'm not sold on. Strella for instance I'm not usually a fan of, but if you manage to give a pleasant dynamic with a ship, even I'm not a huge fan of it in general I'm most likely gonna be open to having my muses reciprocate. So if I like the chemistry we end up having and you do too, then all's good ship wise.
This is gonna be a full Multiverse thing, so we can have multiple things going, even with the same characters, just make that clear for me.
Please be patient! it will likely take a while for me to get back on replying to somethings and I often have a lot going on, so please don't spam stuff, it will stress me out or annoy me which won't make me want to rush it out.
This is an 18+ blog, so I'm fine getting rough and dirty if you want, though you might have to be a bit heavy handed making that clear in some cases, I'm bad at reading context clues XP Though that leads to the next rule.
I am open to you DMing me anytime! Either to just chat or organize RP stuff so we're both on the same page. If your nervous about not getting something across just tell me upfront to make sure I know ^^ And lastly
Ask me or The Muses anything, any time! Could be a starter or could just be an ask for the fun of it. I welcome anything for the most part ^^
That's more or less it for the moment, hope that helps explain what's gonna be going on here for the most part. Just wanna have some fun for the most part, and I hope that's the same for you. Love you all!
#rp rules#about the blog#pinned post#18+ blog#minors dni#helluva boss#helluva boss rp#helluva striker#robofizz#helluva chaz#chazwick thurman#blog rules#ask me anything
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i am so sorry, i didn't realize how vague that sounded until i saw it posted. whoops! anyway, do you have any tips on how to build confidence in initiating play? not just sex - making out, foreplay, etc. we've talked about it a few times because i don't like feeling like i'm always initiating play, and there's been some progress with them being the one to start. we're both really into each other, and have said so multiple times bc i don't want them to think that i'm upset when i initiate 1/2
2/2 but they’re still hesitant about just, like, going for it? like, I respond positively both in words and in literal horny-ness and I just don’t know how else to go about helping them be more confident? neither of us are super experienced overall, but we were both open about that from the start and I want to grow with them, not make them feel like something's lacking
hi anon,
GREAT to hear from you again, and I'm so glad to be able to approach the situation with so much more information! you've given me a great amount of info here, and it sounds like the two of you are in a really good place of mutual understanding and concern for each other's comfort and just need a liiiiiiittle nudge to get more on the same page.
first and foremost you should talk to your partner and help them try to identify what's causing this hesitation in spite of your positive feedback. if it's a case of being nervous about their intentions being reciprocal, or something of that nature, I'm going to recommend the sexiest thing on earth: clearly stated boundaries and, possibly, periods of time marked specifically as sexytimes.
sit down and make a very clear list of ways both of you would like sexual play to be initated. figure out where there's overlap, talk about things that are new to either of you, identify what may be one person's "yeah!" and another person's "no, thank you." most importantly, identify if there are any obvious conflicts in how each of you communicate and want to be communicated with. if your preference is to get slammed down big style on a mattress and going directly to poundtown and your partner prefers to start things off with a three hour cuddle session, that's going to take some working around!
I doubt your preferences are actually that drastic, but the fact may be that your partner just isn't as naturally inclined to take charge as you. that's fine, but it also means you'll have to get creative finding ways to make sure you don't always have to initiate, since it sounds like that's bit of a chore for you. this is where things like scheduled sex nights (or whatever times work well for you) come in. set aside a night you can be together without interruptions or time constraints, taking off the pressure to perform quickly or on any particular timetable. prior to getting together, agree to the expectation that you're both interested and looking forward to having sex - with the rule that your partner has to initiate, whether that's physically, verbally, or something else. doesn't matter, as long as they're the one to take the plunge and get things moving. having a very clear window in which a particular behavior is both expected and desired can take a lot of pressure off an anxious mind!
you could also make a fun little game that allows you to flag when you're interested while still having your partner sometimes be the one to properly initiate. that could be anything from a play on real gay flagging tactics (putting on a certain accessory, including an actual hankie tucked on your person) to sending them a suggestive emoji or something flirty like "surprise me." the point is to have you give your partner tacit permission that puts the ball in their court, so to speak, to escalate things in a more sexual direction.
as always, the process of navigating and negotiating what sex will look like for you can be dead sexy, and I truly believe the two of you can have a lot of fun figuring this out together :)
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I’ve had online friends “speedrun” and sometimes there’s elements of a normal friendship and sometimes is damn creepy and someone else bowling over all boundaries. Like with everything, there’s nuance.
My best friend is someone I met online and we clicked and discussed a lot of deeper things fast, as it was both of us clicking and the conversation was mutual and very natural. We send each other things, talk daily, and also talk about stupid shit and things that aren’t deep.
I also blocked someone on everything as they were someone who very much trying to push things and wanted a hell of a lot more than most people are willing to give at the start of a friendship. I’ve seen it a handful of times, but there are people who, in online friendships (and real, but seen it more online) think that each and every conversation has to be deep and heavy no matter what. And before anyone says “that’s how neurodivergent people communicate” no, not always. Talk about hyper fixations, minor annoyances, the weather (with friends who live in vastly different climates that is something that comes up a ton, in a lot of detail) and so much more. Some people may be fine with only every going deep/heavy/past trauma but god. I’ve met too many people online who EXPECT that and are then livid when someone else is going online to escape. If you want to have that type of relationship, 100% go for it! But expecting it and being mad when someone else can’t reciprocate immediately (or at all, even after a longer period of time) is shitty, and god it’s common online.
it’s normal for to share a lot, potentially even addresses etc. after 6 months, a year, whatever, but there’s some people online AND in real life you just don’t want that type of relationship with, and they don’t get it. It’s not black and white like either anon re: this seems to think (or write, so hard to get nuance in there). Two things can be true at once and all that.
I’ve known people for a short period of time and met up, or at least exchanged more info. I’ve also know people for years and know I wouldn’t want to meet up, even if I would call them a friend. Cause some friendships are just online friendships, and that’s okay.
--
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hi i just want to say i love love love ur blog and thank u for all the info on “rad feminism”. although i very much believe in / support / LOVE feminism (of course!!!!) i wasnt really aware of the term but i do hear it thrown around a lot so i’m shocked to hear that this type of “feminism” is discriminatory towards transgender people. feminism should be the complete OPPOSITE of that. calling urself a feminist and forcing ppl into boxes is CRAZY.
So, here's a post I reblogged today that looks at how radfems and TERFs are doing shit on tumblr to try and indoctrinate people, and I just want to share that because there's further good information about their tactics.
The history of radfems is 100% wrapped in gatekeeping and control tactics. Very short history: Radfems were birthed out of second wave feminism. Up until that point, feminism was something pursued in the public sector most often by women who had the means and time to focus fully on activism. So, upper middle-class white women. There were BIPOC women in every aspect of feminism from the beginning, but due to socioeconomic factors and just plain old racism, those women were rarely listened to outside their own sphere of influence.
In second wave, BIPOC women had finally gained some upward mobility economically and socially that opened the doors to do more in the wider world of the feminist movement. When they went to the white women in charge of the movement and said, "Hey, we have supported and worked for your concerns for decades. Here are things that are especially affecting BIPOC women, and we would greatly appreciate the reciprocation of everything we've put into the movement.
To which the upper middle-class white women who had the power in the movement basically said, "No, those things don't affect us, so we don't care."
Out of this schism came a lot of white women who couldn't believe other women were "betraying" them by putting the needs of their communities ahead of what white women wanted. And that was the birth of radical feminism, the idea that anyone who called themself "feminist" disagreeing with these women were the enemy and had to be silence and stopped.
Several decades later, third wave feminism was able to really start discussing intersectional feminism where even if your concerns aren't mine, they are valid because you are speaking from an experience and a community I don't have. But we are all striving for human rights, dignity, and respect, so fighting for the rights of one woman is fighting for rights for all of us. Third wave isn't (wasn't? I'm not sure if we've actually rolled into fourth wave at this point) perfect. White Feminism is still an issue. Getting people who say they believe in the rights of all women to realize that means women they find fundamentally terrible deserve the same human rights is a problem. People wanting to put Western Feminism Ideals onto other cultures like Japan and the Middle East is a problem.
Meanwhile, Radical Feminists have built a walled-off city where they can all yell about how they're the truest and purest feminists and anyone who disagrees with them is mentally ill, or hates women, or is an abuse apologist. Amongst many other claims.
The difference between Radfems and Feminists is that Radfems don't want to bring in anyone who doesn't absolutely agree with them on every point. Feminists want to open the doors and welcome anyone trying to genuinely help all women achieve human dignity. It's not a perfect system. As listed above, there are issues in the movement to this day that will likely persist until the universe ends, but at the core of it, Radfems want total agreement and loyalty, and Feminists are seeking to build a community where we understand one another and support one another even if my problem isn't your problem.
The most important thing to remember, I think, is this: The number of radfems is actually pretty small. They're just fucking loud. And I think the reason they've gotten so loud is that more and more people are realizing their goals aren't to educate or help but to shame and control, and so they're getting louder about how they're the real victims and MUST fight back against people who disagree with them, whether directly or not because they're trying to "save" the "real" feminists. They're not trying to save anyone except themselves and the rest of their cult, and to hell with the rest of us. But, there's more of us seeking real community and care than radfems, so I think we'll win in the end. We just have to remember that we're in this together, and that keeping the door open to new ideas and information is a very powerful tool.
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(These are ooc questions, so feel free not to answer, but how do you go about starting one of these blogs? How do you think of posts besides answering asks? And since you're playing a canon character, do you ever worry about being too out of character? I wanna start one of these blogs, but it is a little bit intimidating, haha)
Hi! I'm glad I'm seen as something of a good info source on this type of thing, haha!
This is a bit of a doozy, so I'm putting it under a read more.
To begin, starting one of these blogs is something that, at least for me, feels pretty stop and go. The trick is being persistent. You may not get a lot of interaction from other people in the beginning, but if you go out of your way to interact with other people's blogs, then that exposes you to more people, and more interaction, until eventually it's more of a two-way deal than just you seeking interaction.
This blog was pretty small for a while until I managed to luck out and a "For lols" type post blew up enough that I was getting semi-regular interaction. I was enthusiastic on my end with my responses, and people reciprocated that. If you're getting asks and people see that you're answering them, it'll be more likely that you'll get more asks. Though it may feel a bit narcissistic, don't be afraid to send yourself an ask or two! Especially if you have something specific you want to happen, it can be handy.
For posts beside answering asks, I think they're fun! Although I don't do it as much now, since I get enough regular asks that I can subsist off of those, I think it's fun to sprinkle in little bits or worldbuilding or character development. Hell, a few(?) months ago I mentioned a random little thing as a sort of throw-away "It would be funny to send Raihan to Unova" and people piled on! The annual Dragon Convention wasn't something I had planned at ALL, but people enjoyed the idea, so we bounced off of that.
Although, that honestly depends on how you're trying to frame the blog. If it's meant to be more like an askblog, then in-character posts will probably be fewer, but if it's meant to be like a personal blog for the character, then go for it!! That's half the reason I occasionally reblog art on here, is I think it's the type of thing Raihan would reblog.
As for worrying about being out of character, yes and no. Personally I like to think I'm pretty good at copying speech patterns and mannerisms (Perks of autism? I guess??), so I worry a little less, but sometimes I do feel like I'm not being as accurate as I'd like to be. I went on a bit of a hiatus from Raihan for a while, and so I'm still trying to feel out the specifics of how I played him again.
Adding on to that, a lot of the canon characters in Pokemon, such as my boy here, won't have much to them in ways of backstory. Because of that, there's a bit of creative leeway with how exactly you play them. There's a lot of gray area that you can work in. In the swsh games, Raihan is the leader of the Hammerlocke gym, and has an unexplained connection to the Hammerlocke Vault. I've taken that and built it up into "Along with the position of Hammerlocke leader, he also inherited the role of vault-keeper, and is basically the security guard for the Hammerlocke castle."
It CAN seem intimidating, especially when you're first getting started and it feels like there's no interest for your blog. My biggest piece of advise is to keep at it.
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I wouldn’t use Ink Ribbon as a reliable source since he just also just goes on to find things online himself for fun like the rest of us. In that same video he says that Ada is “half Chinese and half American” which he got from seeing that Ada is Chinese American / Asian American. Being Asian American myself, this made me roll my eyes so hard that even now there’s people who don’t understand that Chinese American is just an American of Chinese descent, the concept of Asian people being born in America being American, and equate being American = White. He helped spread this agenda of Ada being half white, which I’ve seen many people say a lot in discussions here and there. There’s literally no way for anyone to be “half American” unless you are half Native/Indigenous American and I know that’s not what he meant. American” unless you are half Native/Indigenous American and I know that’s not what he meant.
yeah i agree tbh. that was one of the reasons why i never included them in the list because it didn't seem like a super reliable source. they do seem to look for books and magazines etc. lots of other sources to get info, but i can't seem to find a reference list to actually show these as fact, so you kinda just have to assume whatever they're saying is correct but i just can't do that without a source lol
I see that too that people think Ada is half white/half asian which also goes completely against what he said earlier which was that she grew up in China. like not saying that it's impossible, but how would a half white/half chinese kid be born in 1974???? (ALSO IM NOT BEING RACIST, I'M ALSO ASIAN LOL. it's just extremely unlikely imo)
THAT'S ALSO WHY I HAVE A HUGE PROBLEM WITH A LOT OF RE CREATORS because they tend to skew information so that it fits with their narrative (and it could be completely wrong) but then it gets taken and regurgitated and is understood online as just "FACTS"
i previously mentioned that there in the wikipedia page for Leon kennedy, there's a paragraph in which nick apostolides allegedly says he thought the relationship was "toxic," but when you actually click on the source cited, it's an article where he doesn't mention the word toxic at all????
and i think that's also a huge gripe i have, because the word toxic is thrown around a lot for the ship when it really doesn't apply. it's more of a situationship, where it's two people who care about each other but their situation makes it so that a relationship can't happen.
toxic implies that there's abuse involved, or one or the other do not reciprocate feelings. aeon doesn't even apply here. they don't abuse each other, and they DO reciprocate feelings. the nail on the head being re6 when helena asks leon straight up if he has feelings for ada. where as in og separate ways, we get ada's affection for leon shoved in our faces (lol)
i think people like to use it (the word toxic) to discredit and devalue the fact that they (leon and ada) care about each other.
also yeah sorry for the tangent but a lot of these re content creators are not reliable sources for info.
i don't claim to be that great of a resource either, but at least i will try to find sources to back up what im saying
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