#and then missy does it again in death in heaven | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

variousqueerthings · 5 months

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I am an idiot with a box and a screwdriver, passing through, helping out, learning. I don’t need an army

Dark Water/Death In Heaven -- we're doing it as a double episode single-review, because it's one continuous story. It also wraps up a lot of the thematic threads of season eight and finally reveals that *gasp* it was the Master all along! (I genuinely do not remember if people were taken by surprise back in the day, I never watched this far at that time, and obviously I knew when I finally did)

sexism rank objectification (female character is ogled/harassed/turned into a sex joke by the doctor and/or a lead we’re supposed to root for and/or the camera): 6/10

sexism rank plot-point (lead female character is only there to serve plot, not to have her emotional interiority explored, or given agency to her emotional interiority): 6/10

interesting complex or pointlessly complex (does the complexity serve the narrative or does it just serve to be confusing as a stand-in for smart, this includes visually): 3/10

furthers character and/or lore and/or plot development (broader question that ties into the previous ones, at least two of these, ideally three should be fulfilled): 5/10

companion matters (the companion doesn’t always have to be there, but if the companion is there, can they function without the doctor– and overall per season how often is the companion the focus or POV of the story): 5/10

the doctor is more than just “godlike” (examines the doctor’s flaws and limitations, doesn’t solve a plot by having it revolve entirely around the doctor’s existence): 5/10

doesn’t look down on previous doctor who (by erasing or mocking its importance, by redoing and “bettering” previous beloved plotpoints or characters, etc.): 6/10

isn’t trying to insert hamfisted sexiness (m*ffat famously talked a lot about how dw should be sexier multiple times, he sucks at writing it): 4/10

internal world has consistency (characters have backgrounds, feel rooted in a place with other people, generally feel like they have Lives): 4/10

Politics (how conservative is the story): 2/10

FULL RATING: 46/100 (if I can count….)

the real issue with the plot of the finale, as I see it is actually solidly in the field of "pacing." there's some other stuff (I'll get into what I think about fulfilling character arcs and concepts about soldiers below), but pacing is the throughline as we take a look at various themes and arcs and whether they were sufficiently wrapped up

EDIT: this one is quite long because it also partially covers the whole season + I rant about the military

OBJECTIFICATION: oooof the four women in this finale, Clara, Kate, Osgood, and Gomez!Master, we technically don't get this much, however I do think it's interesting that M*ffat's Master is... called... Missy....

which I will not be doing, because I hate it. you see she's "Mistress" because she's a woman now, but no nonono, she needs a cutesy version of it, so it's "Missy," she's like the sexy dom you always dreamed of (just like Irene and River and several single-episode characters...)

at least he didn't dress her in leather

it's also hard to designate whether the way he writes her is so off from the way Simm!Master was written, because he for sure had a bunch of "I'm just Cu-raaazyy" moments. also he used bigotry as a casual hammer, which I'd be curious to talk with RTD about. I don't think he'd do that the same way if he were writing those episodes today, anyway, wrong era

Gomez!Master, in these episodes, has some really really stellar moments. she also has moments that make me go, "ah yes, this is a woman written by M*ffat," most noticeably in some of her one-sided "flirting" with the Doctor. again, it's hard to pinpoint, because a lot of it is just "yeah they're unhinged about each other and have been forever," but some of the "ooh Doctor I'm doing all of this for you," stuff is... it just feels like they can do that because of het Nonsense now (which I will get into in the "sexiness" point)

like she can be softer now (in a Master way) because she's portrayed by a woman opposite Capaldi's Doctor, which I think the "short for Mistress" moment is the most prime example of

I do also think though, this is (you guessed it) partially a pacing issue, because they didn't insert Gomez!Master into the main narrative until the second-to-last episode. if we could have seen her in some material way doing something prior to that -- but wait, Simm!Master also only appeared properly in the second-to-last episode, yes, correct, but Simm!Master was materially affecting the narrative from very early on, and not in a somewhat random "I gave you a number to call for a helpline that turned out to be the Tardis and also I'm sort of sitting around waiting for the plot to catch up with me" setup, but in a "I'm monitoring your family, I'm fucking with the government" kind of way -- there was even a musical cue that included the four beats that recurred so that we could connect that to the overarching story of mind-control

I'm going to get back to this in complexity, because we're getting off-point. Point is the jump from where we left off to where we find Gomez!Master being a bit lovey-dovey (again, in a Master way) just wasn't there and I feel like M*ffat thought he could do it this way because of course now they're played by a man and a woman... hypothesis. theory, if you will. Charlie Day Corkboard meme perhaps. but M*ffat would never have done this if the Master were played by a guy, looking at his track record. he might have done it if the Doctor were played by a woman, but I think the real issue there would have been how incredibly porn-opening-adjacent his Doctor/Master interactions would have become, so that's a different sort of lesbophobic bullet dodged

like, I'll take more explicit Master/Doctor stuff. but I'm fucking watching you M*ffat, youknow.

PLOT-POINT: Clara is not a plot-point in this episode, however I do think the pacing of Stuff hits her quite hard. we had a slowish build-up of her and Danny over the episodes, although fascinatingly he never really got to have proper feelings about the acres of lies she'd told him -- she was working up to telling him about it properly, but he got hit by a car before she could

this brings up a Thing about Clara, which is that she makes a loooot of bad decisions that prioritise her own current wants over what's good for her and/or people around her, and I doooo think that's intentional -- she has a line in this episode where she says to Danny, "I wasn’t very good at it, but I did love you"

now season 9 might deal with the guilt of the above, so there may be things to come, but there was certainly a lot of confusion on my side about what her journey was going to be about, and so far it seems to be a very unhealthy "I am owed things" rather than about running away from something tangible or feeling overwhelmed from life

there is the original idea that it was her mother's death that prompted her to want to travel, but something always got in the way, and that this (for example taking care of two kids whose mother died recently) indicates that she's a "good" person who cares for others -- and she doesn't not care, but it's certainly not her driving character trait in the way that it seemed to look like when Eleven met her properly and gauged her as a person who could be a companion

this is all very waffly, because I'm still not sure where Clara lands in all of this, or if I think it works in the grand scheme of things, especially in tandem with the other characterisations and themes of this season. it's got a very depressing, hopeless sort of framing to it that in other contexts I might be really into, but I may not enjoy for Doctor Who

that being said... it's consistent throughout the season. Clara sees the Doctor's red flags (and we'll get to those) and provided the ending is okay and she can control the Doctor and her own role in the situation, she's okay with the idea that people get used along the way -- as long as the Doctor doesn't try that on her

in this episode of course Clara threatens to (and makes good on that promise, even if it doesn't work) destroy the Tardis keys, stranding them both on a volcano, rails against the ordinariness of grief and feels that she is owed something more, shuts down Danny's attempts to say that he loves her, because it's not on her terms (granted, these terms are "please just accept that I'm dead," but that is kind of the point with Clara and her sense of controlling things, even death), then decides to be the one to kill Danny properly as a Cyberman, despite the Doctor explaining that Cyber-Danny will kill others, and then is fully intending to just straight up kill the Master!!!!

this is wild to me -- back in s3, when Francine and the entire Jones family are prepared to see the Master dead, it's because he destroyed the earth and made them watch and kept them as slaves for a year

in this episode, Clara wants to kill the Master because she did bad things that, yes, prolonged the sadness of Danny's death, but crucially did not actually cause Danny's death. Danny just... died. yeah, there's probably theories out there that the Master might have caused it (we'll get to this too), but this is never textual in the episode, and Clara never gives an indication that that's her belief

she's just angry that the Master is a bad person who did bad things, as concept. and mostly she's angry because her boyfriend is dead, and as far as I can see, the Doctor is now off the hook (whereas at the beginning the Doctor was very much on the hook) and the Master is the closest person around to take that anger out on

bonkers for a companion to be this way. again, Martha, my beloved Martha, Osterhagen key back in the day, she's not doing this out of anger, she's having a straight-up bad time and the whole tragedy is about the Doctor accidentally turning companions into soldiers. they've got guns and everything. Clara just bypasses this and is simply down for murder because she's upset

at the end of course she elects to not tell the Doctor about Danny's sacrifice/still being dead, because she thinks the Doctor would stay rather than return to Gallifrey (which may not be found after all, because the Doctor lies to her about that too), which is quite self-sacrificial of her. we'll see where this sentiment goes, especially as it's another lie, which is kind of their whole... thing with one another. terrible terrible for one another, which I know is the appeal for their fans, so I'm not necessarily writing this as critique

I am reminded of the Doctor and Martha again, who also had a whole unhealthy thing going on, but it was very based in the narrative and had a specific trajectory and then an ending that acknowledged this as a reason for Martha no longer wishing to travel with them (and then some things I have questions about, RTD bring Martha back I'm not satisfied!)

in this story, it feels like this is simply who Clara is. and while it does contradict some of her earlier narrative in s7, I can accept that it's consistent now. but yeah... as said, there's some plotting and pacing inconsistencies. where are the kids from before (I know she stopped taking care of them, but one feels like they had no tangible impact on the story), why was Danny's death written in the way it was (we'll get to that), where did some of her s7 characterisation go (I really missed a Clara who wasn't just smart and quippy, but was also scared and out of her depth), is this because she "knows" a lot of the Doctor lore now, so she feels like she belongs more in this world than other people? why was she in love with Danny, to the point of wanting to go to a possible afterlife to get him back (actually this is a big one, because while they did have scenes together, I don't know what drew her to him, and I have some feelings about Danny down in the politics section of this, which somewhat can be boiled down to "he gives me the vibes of a man who is kind and sensitive and easily used and Clara likes to use people so...")

like I said- it's not that Clara doesn't make sense for who she is now, but that the pacing and structure don't support her arc very well. I don't think this is the worst thing to happen to a female character during M*ffat's run, but it does make this finale less emotionally fulfilling than it clearly wants to be

am I sad that Danny is dead? yeah, but not because of Clara. I'm sad because of his unrealised potential as a character. am I shocked that Clara wanted to shoot the Master? yes, but because it was a Bonkers Yonkers bit of characterisation on top of some already wild things she did which any past Doctor I think would have said "ok, you are not suitable for this kind of life, because you are way too down with murder and have no emotional stability." When Clara left the Doctor, I was kinda like. yeah, ok, she could end this here I guess (I say that, and acknowledge that actually the Christmas Special right after gives her a bit more depth on the whole "Danny Dying Sitch" of things, although again, it does not make me think she should be continuing to travel with the Doctor, never mind be working with UNIT in s9????)

ok. but. pacing. let's get to it

COMPLEXITY: ok the problem with this episode is not technically complexity, although it does fall for a couple of M*ffat standards in that it didn't need to be doing some of the things it is doing (the cremation stuff I think is particularly unsettling in a needless way that I think crosses a line, but that is possibly subjective)

the problem is the questions I was asking in the previous sections and a whole bunch more, that shows that all of the themes and questions that were set up throughout the season weren't paced well or satisfactorily concluded

take one that I like: The Master. big fan of Gomez' portrayal of The Master barring a few things that are very M*ffat female character, with a dash of his Moriarty (so youknow the drill if you've ever spent too long engaging with a M*ffat narrative), but that's not her, that's just her having to make a "hey Missy you're so fine" dialogue work

I mentioned it was odd that she was so sidelined and just... hanging around... until the second-to-last episode. I am unclear why she "chose" Clara to travel with the Doctor, first of all. I cannot remember if this is answered in the episode, beyond like "the Universe and fate and shit" which I'm not a fan of if so. second of all... why didn't she kill Danny? (EDIT: did read there's a short story that confirmed she did kill Danny, but we're going purely by episodes here)

if we want to go big, say, why wasn't there a big, slow reveal that she'd been poking around in Clara's life, maybe also Danny's life who knows, and that she was giving all of these things to the Doctor as a gift by using humans as puppets culminating in Danny's death and this is what sets Clara off? the idea that she once again is just playing to the tune of a larger narrative that she has no control over and worse, isn't even about her, but about this fucked up dynamic between these two incredibly old aliens

I'm sure some people like the randomness of Danny's death. I personally do not. I think it's contrived angst that comes out of nowhere in the same way so much of M*ffat's narrative tends to do. why is this happening now? because we need the story to go there and we forgot to place 90% of the establishing building blocks that make it feel organic -- the worst offender for this in my opinion is still the "Amy grew up with River as her best friend the whole time, you just didn't know," but this is a pretty bad example in my opinion too, because on the surface it is very very sad, and the randomness of death is a great idea... but hey, remember when they did that story in 2005 with Rose's dad and it was really good and established and played into the overarching themes of her story? this is not that. this is using sadness as a cheap device

there's like. a story in here that is really really good, and it gets buried underneath a bunch of contrived over-the-top stuff (although, while I initially thought the "president of the earth" stuff was bad, and still kind of do, I did think it was funny that the Doctor mocked the Master about all those times they tried to rule the world and the Doctor managed it by accident)

I also -- and I'm sure many people have noticed this too -- cannot help but go, "oh isn't this just the Library plot but evil? and with a worse/less believable set of scifi nonsense explanations?" and that's such a M*ffat classic too. use three or four good (and sometimes not good) ideas over and over again, but bigger and more unwieldy

Ohhhh boy the idea of the Brigadier becoming a Cyberman, because all of earth - no wait, more than earth, some of the people who end up there aren't on earth - for the last x amount of years has just been sucked into the evil Library database. (seriously, tell me how this works, because it works across Time and Space apparently??) -- anyway billions? trillions? of people becoming Cybermen. I don't think this is explained either. I am not a fan of the Brigadier becoming a Cyberman, let's say that

none of the core scifi stuff is explained beyond a handwave, and none of the emotional arcs are given a satisfying conclusion but!

listen Michelle Gomez is so cool, I relish the future when I know she's getting better dialogue

also in theory I like the callback to the "I win" in s3. we know the Doctor doesn't kill her, but yeah, him going "you win." they're such weirdos about each other, truly. again, with all of the rest of the "stuff" this season, the poor pacing, the scrape-the-surface-and-it's-cheap-sentimentality I don't think it entirely works, but hey, Gomez will return so!

CHARACTERS/LORE/PLOT: Danny is dead. the Master is Michelle Gomez (and not dead). the Doctor is slightly? more chill in themself (maybe, idk, going by the following episode, maybe not). Gallifrey is still lost. I think that covers it?

also the Doctor just straight-up wasn't looking for Gallifrey this whole time it seems

COMPANIONS MATTER: Clara does some things in this one. notably, not a single thing she does works, but for the ways they work because the Doctor and/or Danny care about her so so much, which I think is at the heart of all of this -- if you (the audience) believe that the Doctor and Danny have so much affection and/or love for Clara that despite her behaviour they would go to the afterlife for her, they would break cyber-coding for her, then this works

if you don't believe this, then we're in trouble.

things Clara does: aforementioned attempted destruction of Tardis key, attempting to save Danny from death, passing herself off as the Doctor, killing Danny, killing the Master

I thiiiink... that covers it. within this she does convince the Doctor to take her to the afterlife, and Danny saves her life a few times

I want to note the "Clara pretends to be the Doctor" moment, because I think it's a good example of some of the flattening of her character. in her earlier entries in s7 she was afraid at times. now, obviously, like the other companions she's seen more, she's more confident, but she is still in very real danger -- contrasting with Rose in Doomsday and how she taunts the Daleks, she's still very very afraid, she's sure they're all going to die

and I think Rose in Army of Ghosts/Doomsday is the closest to Clara out of previous companions I've seen (not counting Classic Who which I haven't finished). by that point she's seen so much that her mother comments that she doesn't seem like herself anymore (I wish Clara's grandmother had made a similar observation -- or at least some kind of observation). she knows a bunch of DW lore, she loves the travel for the sake of it, she feels, yeah, special (although with the caveat that she's met previous companions, the Doom hangs over them all season, we know this is about to end one way or another)

I just sat there the whole time thinking, "why is the director not asking JLC to put more emotion into her voice, more doubt, more desperation, just... more. why is this scene so flat?"

“GODLIKE” DOCTOR: the Doctor is a headless chicken in this one, except for the fact that he's like "yeah we'll go to the afterlife" and then promptly goes "there is no afterlife, this is stupid."

it's a small thing on the whole, but hey, Doctor, you're the one who decided to go there

as for the Doctor as a seasons-arc roundup. I... don't hate it... but I still don't like how this Doctor is characterised. he's still incredibly unlikeable just on a personal level, and yeah yeah good doesn't mean nice, but he's also just not kind. and I think I struggle to enjoy an iteration of the Doctor who isn't kind, at least sometimes

I think a lot of that -- the unkindness -- falls to the wayside as a concept in this episode, because idk, it's not important I guess? whereas I think it's central to the Doctor's question of "am I good"? are you good because you try to make people not-die, sure, but you're also good because you don't mock kids. you don't casually state that you've forgotten peoples faces because they're so forgettable/unimportant to you. you don't treat people poorly that know they're about to die

if that stuff -- that domestic stuff, as Nine might have called it -- isn't important to the question, then I don't think the question is being satisfactorily answered by this episode

yes, Twelve turns down the chance to have a literal army that could just kill all bad guys, but I never doubted that. does Twelve treat others with kindness? Mmmm still not really, going by the episode right after. it's a fun little exploration of something absolutely wild the Master might try, but I don't think it tells me anything new about the Twelfth Doctor

PREVIOUS DOCTOR WHO: ok, I'm sure some people loved some of these callbacks. The Brigadier. the Cybermen outside St Pauls.

did like Osgood saying that Simm!Master prime-minister wasn't even the worst one we've had. that ages ever more hilariously

I just don't think the plot is good enough for a lot of them. and as an ending to the Brigadier well... ok, I liked it better than way back (s6) the Doctor receives a random phonecall that the Brigadier is dead and it's apropos nothing and Kate Stewart hadn't been introduced yet, so it was just some random guy that the old fans knew, but the nu fans would have been ??? about, because why does this guy dying drive the plot like that? I liked that the Brigadier has context

of course that context is, your brain was uploaded to a computer database for years and now you're fully a cyberman -- and it's not framed as super tragic? it's another one of the ways the emotional Stuff falls flat in this episode, and I just choose to pretend it's not something that happens

“SEXINESS”: M I S S Y... short for Mistress... because we need to gender this now. Anyway, the first time this character meets the Doctor in this form, she forcibly grabs him and kisses him without his consent (afterwards Clara smirks and asks if she used tongue)

so that is... that is a thing that happens. that is a thing that has happened a lot on this show, both to Ten and Eleven, but not to Twelve until now, because I guess women only humorously throw themselves at twinks

when will our suffering end?? why is this considered funny???? Stop!!!

she also at one point says "you know I should shoot you in a jealous rage, now wouldn’t that be sexy," which was one thing I was alluding to with the "where does writing the Master as kind of fucked up end and writing the Master as a Crazy Evil Sexy Lady begin" because this is definitely in the latter category

INTERNAL WORLD: is this just the Silence of the Library but evil and less believable? yes. does it make sense that they could magically put all those minds back into reconstructed Cyberbodies on top of corpses, including people who must have been dead for centuries, or died in the future not even on earth? don't think about it

POLITICS: So, you know how this season is all about the Doctor and soldiers and "am I a good man" and Danny was a soldier and calls the Doctor an officer, and on the plus-side we have the Doctor's speech about not being a good man or an officer or anything like that, but just "some fuckn guy" (paraphrased, he actually calls himself an idiot)

on the flipside of that we have... Danny. oh Danny. I. so I really want to like Danny, and I actually do like Danny, I think he's the most underserved character of the season, in the sense that everyone else being written to be an asshole just makes it shine through that he is... not. and his whole thing is that he feels guilty about having shot a kid in Afghanistan and that's what made him leave the military, because... it felt bad, I guess

I write that, because Danny didn't leave the army because he didn't agree with their politics anymore. despite having a bunch of lines derogatorily calling the Doctor "sir," and flipping shit like "watch the blood-soaked general in action" there's never actually a story of Danny realising a superior officer was using his power to hurt anyone, and he never questions that having been there in the first place, in a position to shoot a child, might have been the bad thing

he's not railing against superiors, he's just railing, which is frustrating when it's so close to getting it right. it seemed like they might be going there for awhile, there was a hot second where I thought they might, but at the end he firmly re-identifies himself as a soldier and shoots himself and the other Cybermen into the sky to save the planet. it's so... oooh it's so [flames on the side of my head]

he does send the kid back, rather than himself, which circles back to my thinking about Danny the character (kind, compassionate, sensitive) and Danny as keeper of certain themes (that it's not the system of soldiering that's bad, in fact we need to defend ourselves, see Doctor, your black and white narrative about soldiers as related to any guilt you might feel about having once killed people, or making situations happen where people die or or, is false, because it's more complicated than that, and soldiers are a good thing actually -- no, we haven't actually made a narrative about systems of soldiering, we've conflated freedom-fighting against a fictional fascist-coded alien with the British army, it's the same thing in the end)

it makes me want to -- in that oh-so-silly fandom way -- take Danny away from the writers and look back at his core traits: he's an orphan who by the sounds of things was never adopted, so in a place of being easily groomed by a structure like the army, he believes in the inherent goodness of people (I think), like I said, kind, compassionate, sensitive, lovely to kids, clearly suffers from PTSD (of course), and... in my opinion eaaasily misused by others, because he judges things to be solely on his shoulders

because Clara is a very forceful personality, I can sooo easily see how he'd be taken with her and want to forgive her over and over again and sacrifice himself for her

I wish that Danny's storyline had been about realising his worth. not his worth as a fucking soldier, but just "oh, I've been scared my whole life, I've had to do what others told me my whole life, and now this is my choice." I mean, the sacrificing is still... sigh (I do remember seeing people pointing out that great, we introduce a Black recurring character and then yeet him into the sky once his use is up, vs, say Rory who is there from beginning to end)

(I actually like Danny better than Rory on the whole, but I also think Danny and Rory have a lot of similar traits, and they both fall in love with women who have treated them abysmally, but at least Clara understands this as a part of her arc, both in the final episode of this and the subsequent Christmas episode)

but at least it wouldn't have been a sacrifice in which he reinserts himself as a cog in a machine. fucking soldier. please Danny, you deserve more from this thematic journey. if we'd had a narrative about an abusive or simply bad or incompetent or idealistically incompatible officer, this would have made more sense, but instead we just get vague references that go nowhere

ok I'm writing in circles now, so let's drop this and talk about the kid he shoots, whom he meets in the "afterlife" (argh this whole concept is so stupid) and I guess just... sits with? until he scares him away. and then sends him back to life again

there's something poignant in that to an extent, it's just of course that this random unnamed kid from Afghanistan who says not a line is a prop to absolve Danny of his personal guilt at shooting a child, and, again, not really about the nature of British colonialism and military violence

now oof, those are some heavy themes to bring up, can we expect all this from a silly show like Doctor Who? well, M*ffat did, he just wasn't able to follow through. heavy themes aren't shock value, you'd better be a good enough writer to do something with them, or idk, not want to suck the British army's dick

ooh, that was a bit aggressive on my part. I think because season eight actually has so much interesting stuff it's playing with, so this time I could finally see Stuff, but then the payoff was just a disappointing slap. RIP Danny, in my heart you had character development this season that went into all of the interesting narrative threads that were introduced, and you became a passionate speaker for not grooming kids into joining the army

the TL;DR of this point is "soldiers good sometimes. check mate Pacifist" -- but similar to Kill The Moon, it's so messy I'm not sure it actually knows what it wants to say

FULL RATING: 46/100 (if I can count….)

I feel like not everyone would agree with me, but I like the Master's overall plan. it fits with the wildly swinging way they try to win the Doctor over, just to lash out when the Doctor (understandably) turns them down, while also pinpointing the little hypocrisies of the Doctor's morals, because the Master keeps offering the ability to Change Things and the Doctor prefers little shifts of the status quo that often mean people get left behind or get hurt or it's much messier than a clean sweep of "if you just ruled the Universe with me, we'd do good things"

(the Doctor is of course right to go "yeahno, this is not a good idea, for starters we both have so many issues, for seconds anyone who sets out to be a good ruler of anything has already failed because of the premise"). it's the strongest part of the episodes for me, I just wish it had had a more satisfying build-up and been able to tie in better to the themes of the season (or rather that the themes of the season had been written better in previous episodes so as to tie in better with this wrapping-up)

and obviously the whole "soldier" stuff is just badly written

and Clara...? I'll wait and see in her final season. it's very much a "depends on how they round it off" for me

also, oh boy am I done with quips. the Wh*donesque quipping is doing my head in, please make it stooop

"One last chance. I don’t care about the rules, I don’t give a damn about paradoxes, I swear you will never step inside your Tardis again" <- this is Villain Behaviour Clara!!!!

#im watching nu!who #im watching capaldi who #episode dark water #episode death in heaven #the measurement #theres so much more i didnt cover tbh my energy for this is low rn

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gayleviticus · 2 years

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12 clara have such good chemistry and juicy dynamics that I tend to kindve cordon off 11 clara into its own weird prologue to the real event patched on by the reveal missy was the woman in the shop..

but while clara IS quite vaguely sketched week by week in s7, it hit me that there actually are huge parallels between her entrance and ending: the woman who was defined by endlessly living and dying bound to the Doctor finds true life in accepting her death free of the Doctor

similarly, we go from Name of the Doctor, where clara lives and dies time and time again to save the Doctor, to Heaven Sent, where the Doctor dies time and time again to save Clara.

but it's interesting bc the former is big and epic and heroic, and the latter, as we find out in Hell Bent, was... not. It was the Doctor tormenting himself for billions of years out of hope he could save Clara.

you could argue gender politics wise the optics are off here - so when clara does it it's a noble act of heroism (because she's a woman and women should be self sqcrificial) but for the doctor it's futile tragic hubris?

but I think maybe what's really happening here is that in a sense the very original premise with which clara entered the series is being interrogated and taken apart, and only once thats accomplished can she finally fly free of the Doctor - can she herself BE like the doctor

#doctor who #twelfth doctor #clara oswald #eleventh doctor #dr who #twelve & clara #12th doctor #heaven sent #hell bent

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bambiesque · 7 months

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New thread for Capaldi!Doctor.

Deep Breath - "Here we go again." Excellent start for Capaldi!Doctor. I do love regeneration episodes and this one was a bit deeper than the usual madness. Always lovely to see the Paternoster gang. And Missy! Missy, my love. <3

Into the Dalek - Danny! "She cares so I don't have to." A good episode - a nice change to the usual Dalek ones. I like Journey, I think she should have come along.

Robot of Sherwood - A funny episode, good performances all around but nothing very exciting. Loved Capaldi!Doctor sword-fighting Robin Hood with a spoon though.

Listen - Creepy, sad, beautiful. Everyone is at their best. Love getting to see the baby!Doctor's history and Clara comforting him, and then comforting Capaldi!Doctor too. They are great together. As are Clara and Danny.

Time Heist - Love a heist. Especially a time-travel one. Keeley Hawes is always good and strangely, always terrifying. Clara looks magnificent. Love Psy and Saibra. I think we should have had little gang again.

The Caretaker - I still don't like all the weird posturing from the Doctor and Danny over Clara. She can do what she wants. They're idiots most of this episode.

Kill the Moon - I completely understand Clara's feelings. Jenna is excellent, as always. I love the moon being an egg and another one just being laid in its place.

Mummy on the Orient Express - Love the whole aesthetic. Love all of Clara's beautiful clothes. A really good murder-mystery. Tense, fun, nice resolution. Great episode.

Flatline - Really interesting concept. Love Clara taking on the Doctor's role and carrying around the TARDIS and the Doctor in her bag.

In the Forest of the Night - A lovely episode. The trees covering London and protecting the earth. The kids are great too.

Dark Water/Death in Heaven - I love Missy so much. Michelle Gomez is having an absolute blast and she looks so gorgeous while being completely deranged. I am sad Danny is dead though. Cyber-zombies. Poor Osgood. Poor Danny and Clara. Poor Missy. The Brig! <3 Danny is a very good boy.

Last Christmas - Doctor Who does Inception. Lots of fun and silliness with a lovely ending and Clara staying with the Doctor.

The Magician's Apprentice/The Witch's Familiar - Have I mentioned that I love Missy. She should be in every single episode. Possibly of every TV show ever. What a brilliant pair of episodes this was. The best Dalek episode in a long time.

Under the Lake/Before the Flood - Very creepy and atmospheric. I enjoyed the story and I'm enjoying these two parters.

The Girl Who Died/The Woman Who Lived - I loved the first episode. It was fun and funny and Clara has grown-up so much, I'm proud of her. Capaldi!Doctor realising why he chose Caecilius' face was a really brilliant moment. The second episode was also good - though not as good, imo but it did have a great ending for the Doctor and Ashildr.

The Zygon Invasion/The Zygon Inversion - Kate having more to do is always a good thing and it's nice that we still have one Osgood at least - and then two! Good story with a great resolution and excellent work from Jenna as always.

Sleep No More - I'm going to be singing Mr Sandman all night now. It was a decent episode but nothing special storywise. Just there really.

Face the Raven - Brave, wonderful, stupid Clara. I love you. The whole episode was great and I know it's not her last episode but I think that was a good ending for her and perfectly in character.

Heaven Sent - Weird, fascinating and absolutely terrifying when you think about it. Peter Capaldi is incredible. But not an episode I'd want to rewatch honestly because it too much.

Hell Bent - I don't think we should blame Missy for this when she's not here to defend herself. Amy & Rory mention! I cried buckets because it was heartbreaking. Farewell, Clara!

The Husbands of River Song - And farewell, River (at least I assume it's a farewell). A lovely end to her story. I enjoyed Capaldi!Doctor getting to do the "bigger on the inside" speech he always wanted to hear.

The Return of Doctor Mysterio - The weakest of the specials, across any era, tbh. I don't have a lot to say about it.

The Pilot - Bill is fantastic. Love her. Enjoyed the chase across the universe and Heather doing what she promised Bill she would. Love the pictures of Susan and River on Capaldi!Doctor's desk.

Smile - The Happiness Patrol 2.0 Very good, very creepy, very sad. I wouldn't have lasted five minutes in a place I had to smile all the time.

Thin Ice - Ooo, Regency period, love it. Great episode. Loved the Doctor punching Sutcliffe and giving his house to the orphans. There should be more of that.

Knock Knock - Lovely creepy episode with a nice twist. I loved the Doctor going to have dinner with Missy and her playing the piano omg *hearteyes*

Oxygen - Interesting concept and very believable but not as thrilling as it should have been.

Extremis - I'm just going to sob about how much I love Missy forever. A really great epiode. I loved it - the simulations, Nardole being a badass.

The Pyramid at the End of the World - The weakest of the three I think, but the ending is good. I enjoyed the lab stuff more than the pyramid stuff.

The Lie of the Land - So proud of Bill for shooting the Doctor. I think she should have slapped him when he told her the truth though. I want a whole show just about Missy's time in the vault. I would watch her do anything.

Empress of Mars - Great episode, fabulous to look at. I really enjoyed the story and seeing Alpha Centauri again!!!

The Eaters of Light - Another lovely story. Missy and the Doctor at the end was obviously my favourite part but the supporting cast was excellent.

World Enough and Time - I don't think I breathed for the last five minutes. The Master in disguise is perfect and a perfect bastard. The start with Missy being "Doctor Who" is one of the best things ever on this show. I wish she could have been an actual companion. Poor Bill, she deserves better than this.

The Doctor Falls - Of course the Master is a bad influence on themself. Oh, Missy, I love you so, so much. And John Simm is looking fantastic. Two Masters - my dream come true. They're such shits but I love them. And I'm crying because she died. And that he didn't know she was going back to him. At least Bill gets a happy ending (ish).

Twice Upon a Time - Twelve and One and Bill and Polly and Ben and Mark Gatiss as the Brig's Grandad(?) and Clara. I am sobbing. Mostly it was hilarious and heartwarming, which was much needed after the previous episode. Hi Jodie!

Capaldi!Doctor Era Roundup

Honestly, it took a while for me to warm up to Capaldi!Doctor - not that I didn't like him, just that I didn't get him, I think. But by the end I loved him. Season 10 was probably my favourite. I liked him being grumpy and not wanting to hug people. I loved Clara and Bill and especially Missy. Excellent stuff.

Favourite Companion: Clara

Least Favourite Companion: None

Favourite Episode: The Magician's Apprentice/The Witch's Familiar

Least Favourite Episode: The Return of Doctor Mysterio

Current Doctor Rankings:

Smith

Davison

Pertwee

Tennant

Capaldi

TBaker

CBaker

McCoy

Troughton

McGann

Hurt

Eccleston

Hartnell

Top 10 Companions: (Bill goes in at 12, Nardole at 32)

Jo Grant

Amy Pond

Tegan Jovanka

Rory Williams

Barbara Wright

Vislor Turlough

Clara Oswald

Sarah Jane Smith

Martha Jones

Donna Noble

Top 5 Masters:

Gomez

Delgado

Simm

Ainley

Jacobi

#doctor who #new who #twelfth doctor #capaldi!doctor

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esonetwork · 2 years

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Timestamp #253: Into the Dalek

New Post has been published on https://esonetwork.com/timestamp-253-into-the-dalek/

Timestamp #253: Into the Dalek

Doctor Who: Into the Dalek (1 episode, s08e02, 2014)

A fantastic innerspace voyage.

A pilot and her wounded co-pilot desperately fly away from an attacking Dalek ship. The pilot, Journey Blue, calls for help but her ship explodes around her. She awakens in the TARDIS console room and pulls a gun on the Doctor. He tries to explain that he saved her life by materializing the TARDIS around her at the moment of her death, and he waits for her to ask nicely before taking her back to her command ship.

The vessel was once a hospital ship, but the Doctor does not receive a warm welcome when he emerges on the hangar deck. Journey Blue saves his life when she tells her shipmates that the visitor is a doctor. The crew takes the Doctor to his new patient. Unfortunately, it is a Dalek.

Back on Earth, Danny Pink trains the Coal Hill Cadet Squad before returning to his duties as a mathematics instructor. He’s quite the bit of eye-candy for the women at the school and an object of intrigue for the students since he served as a soldier in the army. The kids are curious if he’s ever killed anyone and if he’s ever killed someone who was not a soldier.

Danny eventually meets Clara, but he turns down an opportunity to join her for a drink. When he later verbally berates himself (supposedly in private), Clara offers again and he accepts. Clara leaves Danny and enters a supply closet to find the Doctor and the TARDIS. The Doctor offers some coffee, which he was supposed to fetch three weeks ago, and asks her for advice.

The Doctor wants to know if he is a good man.

Since Clara isn’t familiar with this Doctor, she replies that she doesn’t know the answer. Sadly, neither does he, and he sets a course for Aristotle. It turns out that the Dalek has asked for help and has offered to destroy its own kind, and the Doctor cannot quite wrap his head around the concept. Once they return to the command ship, they realize that they have to get into the Dalek’s head. Luckily, Aristotle has a gizmo that will shrink people.

The Doctor, Clara, Journey, and soldiers Ross and Gretchen are miniaturized and injected into the Dalek’s eyestalk. The soldiers are there to kill the travelers if they turn out to be Dalek spies. The team encounters the Dalek’s artificial memory drive which filters out good memories and reinforces bad ones, essentially refining evil. They are also attacked by antibodies when the soldiers attach grappling hooks to the Dalek’s internals. Ross is killed, but the Doctor is able to track his remains to a place of relevant safety. Unfortunately, that’s a pool of protein that feeds the Dalek, which the Doctor has named Rusty.

The team escapes through a hot tunnel to an irradiated battery room. The radiation is affecting Rusty’s memory core and allowing his morality to leak through. The damage is related to Rusty watching a star being born, an event that spoke of beauty and divine perfection. It also reinforced that life prevails and resistance to that is futile.

The Doctor fixes the battery leak, but that causes Rusty to revert to his murderous ways. He then breaks free of his restraints and begins exterminating the ship’s crew. Rusty opens a communication channel to the Dalek ship and reveals Aristotle‘s secret location.

The Doctor uses this as evidence that there is no such thing as a good Dalek, but Clara is not satisfied with the result and slaps him back into sense. Following Clara’s inspiration, the Doctor instructs her, Gretchen, and Journey to make their way back to the memory drive and try to restore Rusty’s memories of the star while he reasons with Rusty.

Gretchen sacrifices herself to get Clara and Journey to the memory core. When the antibodies kill Gretchen, she ends up meeting Missy in the garden called Heaven. Meanwhile, Rusty continues his rampage as the Daleks reach Aristotle.

The Doctor meets Rusty eye to eye, facing off against the organic creature at the heart of the Dalekanium shell. As the Doctor forms a psychic link with the Dalek, Clara crawls through its core and restores the hidden memories. The plan is mostly successful but falters when Rusty finds the Doctor’s intense hatred of the Daleks. Despite the Doctor pleading with Rusty to look beyond that hatred, the Dalek uses it to fuel a mission of destruction against his own kind.

Rusty destroys the rest of the Daleks on the ship and the team is restored to their proper size. Rusty leaves to join his own kind, promising to work against them from within. He also shakes the Doctor to his core by proclaiming that the Time Lord is the good Dalek that he was searching for. As the travelers prepare to leave, Journey asks to travel with the Doctor but he refuses because she was a soldier.

Clara changes clothes for her date as he takes her home. She tells him that she doesn’t know if he is a good man, but she does give him credit for trying to be one. She then leaves for her date with Danny, trying not to adopt the Time Lord’s policy against soldiers.

Welcome to the origin of the “Don’t be lasagna” meme. It’s such a funny example of this Doctor’s quest to find his bearings, reflecting the whimsy of the Ninth and Tenth Doctors. His ruthlessness also reflects the Ninth and Tenth Doctors – note that he’s not bloodthirsty, but he is direct – and his views on the military reach back to the Third and Fourth Doctor eras.

Importantly, the military stereotypes get subverted with the reinforcement that people can evolve beyond their roles and/or training.

The Doctor’s hatred of the Daleks is generally universal, but it is amplified by the events of The Day of the Doctor. This level of hatred reminds me of the Ninth Doctor in Dalek – another time when the Doctor would make a good Dalek – though I do appreciate the attempt at defusing the hatred while persuading Rusty. The imagery used in that persuasion comes from The Stolen Earth/Journey’s End.

There are obviously elements of the classic “go inside the body” films Innerspace and Fantastic Voyage. We also have a callback to another shrunken Doctor adventure in Planet of Giants. I also love the breaking out of a morgue callback to the TV movie.

But it is the exploration of the Doctor at this point after his regeneration in the face of his greatest enemy that intrigues me, followed closely by Clara using the Doctor’s lessons learned in her own life outside the TARDIS. It’s a good journey into his personality during an otherwise straightforward narrative.

Rating: 4/5 – “Would you care for a jelly baby?”

UP NEXT – Doctor Who: Robot of Sherwood

The Timestamps Project is an adventure through the televised universe of Doctor Who, story by story, from the beginning of the franchise. For more reviews like this one, please visit the project’s page at Creative Criticality.

#Doctor Who #Timestamps Project #twelfth doctor

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sisterspooky1013 · 3 years

Text

Only One Choice, Chapter 12

Read it here on AO3 / Tagging @today-in-fic

From: [email protected]

Sent: July 15, 1996 9:06am

To: [email protected]

Subject: This weekend

Hey,

It was good to run into you yesterday. Your sister seems nice. Is she older or younger? I remember you said you had three siblings; where do you fall in there?

Let me know if you can come by this weekend. Priscilla promises to provide a better beverage selection this time. She was unimpressed with my hosting abilities.

From: [email protected]

Sent: July 15, 1996 10:23am

To: [email protected]

Subject: RE:This weekend

Hi,

I was surprised to see you in Georgetown again, what brought you by? Not your drug dealer again, I presume (disclaimer to anyone reading this that it’s a joke). I’m the third of four; Missy is two years older than me. Our oldest brother is Bill and little brother is Charlie. Do you have other siblings, aside from the sister you told me about?

As for this weekend, I’m free in the evening on Saturday. I had the thought, though, that it’s perhaps not appropriate for us to be spending time alone at your apartment. Not that I think you have or would behave inappropriately in any way, just for propriety’s sake. Sorry if that seems old fashioned. Maybe we can get dinner? Send my regrets to Priscilla.

From: [email protected]

Sent: July 15, 1996 4:45pm

To: [email protected]

Subject: RE:RE:This weekend

Given the later half of your email, it probably wouldn’t be a good idea to admit that I went by that coffee shop hoping to see you there again. So let’s just say it was indeed to pay a visit to my dealer.

Nope, Samantha was my only sibling. Mom and Dad divorced after she disappeared. It was far from a Hallmark movie, but I turned out okay (I think).

Scully, if you don’t trust yourself around me behind closed doors, all you have to do is say so. Jokes aside, I can respect that. I actually have an idea of something we could do that is very public and not at all inappropriate. Will you trust me if I tell you it’s a surprise?

From: [email protected]

Sent: July 16, 1996 9:36am

To: [email protected]

Subject: RE:RE:RE:This weekend

I go by that coffee shop most Sundays, sometimes with my sister or mom, sometimes alone. I’m not sure what your dealer’s typical hours of operation are, but I tend to be there around noon. For future reference.

I’m sorry to hear about your parents. I would say you turned out pretty well, but then again I hardly know you.

I will trust you with a mystery public outing so long as you let me know what to dress for and also if there will be food involved. Something you should know about me; if you don’t feed me I turn into a Gremlin.

From: [email protected]

Sent: July 17, 1996 8:56am

To: [email protected]

Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:This weekend

Hey, sorry I never got back to you yesterday. I won’t bore you with the details, but suffice to say that criminal profilers are not immune to workplace drama.

As luck would have it, my dealer runs a blue light special at 11:30 am on Sundays, so I tend to be in the neighborhood around that time. A stunning coincidence.

I think you know me better than the vast majority of the people I interact with at this point, save for a select few. I’m not sure if that speaks as much to the fact that I like hanging out with you as it does to the fact that I don’t have many friends. My spooky reputation tends to scare people off, but I’m not exactly crying in my cornflakes over it.

I wouldn’t want you to turn into a Gremlin on me, so refreshments will be provided. Wear something you can move in, definitely not a dress or heels (it pains me to say this). Can I pick you up at 5:00?

From: [email protected]

Sent: July 17,1996 2:31pm

To: [email protected]

Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:This weekend

Workplace drama knows no bounds. I’ve been getting the silent treatment from one of the other pathologists because I questioned whether they’d calibrated the scale before weighing internal organs.

I think you’re overestimating how well I know you, Mulder. I know next to nothing about you, outside your interest in the paranormal and a bit about your childhood.

I’m resisting the urge to ask what you have planned. Why don’t we meet somewhere? If you’re taking me UFO sighting...we better see a UFO is all I’m saying.

From: [email protected]

Sent: July 18, 1996 9:10am

To: [email protected]

Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:The weekend

I want to make a comment on the fact that weighing internal organs is part of your job description, but I spent an hour today debating whether someone sticking pencils in their victim’s eyes is some kind of Freudian penis envy thing.

You know more about me than you think, Scully. You know I’m a cat person, and that I have terrible taste in beer. Also that I like Radiohead and am not beneath asking a woman out while she’s trying to do her job. I’ll offer you a bonus fact, or more accurately a confession: I didn’t really need to come down to Quantico last week when we had coffee. I just wanted to get coffee with you. Don’t tell my boss.

Now you have to tell me something about yourself. It’s only fair.

If there were any good places to spot UFOs around here, I’d take you in a heartbeat. If you’re ever up for a road trip out west, let me know. Washington State is a hotbed of UFO activity. Plus they have really good coffee.

Can you meet me at the Hoover building? I’ll drive us from there.

From: [email protected]

Sent: July 18, 1996 1:19pm

To: [email protected]

Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:This weekend

So what was the verdict on the pencil/penis eyeball situation? Fruedian or no?

I’m touched that you’d go so far as insubordination to have coffee with me, however I hope you won’t make a habit of it. Next time you come down here I’ll have to email your boss and ask him if you got permission to come out and play.

Something about me...I like to read a lot. I think I’d say Jane Eyre is my favorite book of all time (not that you asked). I’m also addicted to bubble baths. Actually, reading Jane Eyre IN a bubble bath is pretty much my idea of heaven (ideally with a glass of wine).

I’ve been to Seattle once. Too much rain, though it was very green and pretty. Isn’t that where Bigfoot lives?

I’ll meet you at the Hoover building on Saturday at 5, wearing my very best ball gown and stiletto heels.

From: [email protected]

Sent: July 19, 1996 8:13am

To: [email protected]

Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:This weekend

No verdict will be reached unless and until we catch the guy and have occasion to ask him if he was using his pencils as...pencils. Profiles are all theory, which can be both interesting and frustrating.

I wouldn’t advise you to contact my AD, he’s kind of a dick. I’ll ask him to write a note excusing me from work next time.

Jane Eyre? I wouldn’t have expected that from you. It’s a very romantic book, and entirely centered around two people who never should have worked as a couple coming together despite numerous obstacles. Is that something you’re into?

You get 95 points for knowing that Bigfoot lives in Washington (you lost 5 for calling him Bigfoot; he’s known as Sasquatch out there). My dream vacation is lurking around the forests of the Pacific Northwest, Squatchin’.

It’s a date.

From: [email protected]

Sent: July 19, 1996 3:46pm

To: [email protected]

Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:This weekend

Don’t ruin my favorite book by overanalyzing it, Mulder. If you’d like to trash Wuthering Heights, be my guest. I pledge my allegiance to Charlotte.

Your dream vacation sounds like it might end in death from exposure, or perhaps a good old fashioned bear mauling, but who am I to tell you how to spend your paid leave?

See you tomorrow, at 5. And it’s not a date.

From: [email protected]

Sent: July 19, 1996 6:55pm

To: [email protected]

Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:This weekend

I would always rather be happy than dignified.

(A little Charlotte to arrive to on Monday)

#the x files #txf #dana scully #fox mulder #gillovny #msr #sculder #xfiles #alternate universe

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marchioness-caprina · 3 years

Text

You Changed But Still the Same

Pairings : Ex! Katsuki Bakugou x Ex! Reader.

Writing Style : 3rd Person

Warning : Cussing

Word Count : 3428

3rd Person's POV

A Year ago since that fateful day where everything ended and the only thing that's left were the memories and promises from the past. Y/n and Bakugou who were High school sweethearts had quite a past together but sometimes all the good things come to an end .

That's exactly what happened, Bakugou at some point in his life had to pick between two things , y/n or his Hero Career. He picked His Hero Career even though y/nl tried to desperately persuade him that it could work out. She tried her best to persuade Katsuki that They can grow Together.

Even though it was painful, Katsuki still stuck to his choice leaving everything behind . Leaving y/n with her heart that has been shattered, Leaving her to pick up all the broken pieces herself.

He had to pick his Hero career because he knew he needed to become stronger, strong enough to Be confident that He will be able to protect her in the future. Strong enough to flaunt her to the world without worrying how many villains would be after his lover. As surprising as it may seem his reason why he picked his career over her was because of her, not because he wanted to be number one... He'll admit that, it was his former goal but after meeting her everything changed.

He actually wanted to become a better version of himself because no matter how good he is, theres still a nagging feeling at the back of his head that says he does not deserve her because she deserves so much more.

Today was a special Day because Class 1-A was holding a reunion party. And Katsuki normally turns down events like this bit this time , he was excited because he knew y/n would be there. Now he was ready, Now he was confident, Now all he needed to do was to get his Girl back.

Y/n, She was never the same after that dreadful day. She never knew why she was Never Enough for Katsuki... She doesn't know why she's not a good enough reason to be picked. She never knew why He had to leave her in the dust, Hurt and alone. And honestly no matter how hard she tried to forget him. It never worked, She was still hung up on him like before and because of that. She hated him so much.

She started overworking herself doing more hero work than necessary since it's the only thing that could keep her mind away from him.

Her smile faded and she was never the same, she moved to another city because being in the same city where there's a possibility for her and Katsuki to work together is too painful for her.

She managed to rise to the hero rankings in the city she moved in. She was well known and villains feared her. But she started distancing herself from others, always taking on solo jobs and gradually turning colder by time.

It took a lot of persuading from the girls for her to eventually agree to this little reunion and she wasn't looking forward to it.

Because he was going to be there, it was already 6 and she was late since the agreed time to meet was 5 sharp bit she got caught up fighting Villains on her way . Of course the girls were furious but after hearing her reason they were much more understanding than expected.

They were supposed to meet in a Restaurant the boys booked all for their class and of course wearing something fancy was required because according to Momo they should ' Dress for the Occasion ' .

So of course y/n did try to make an effort to dress up because She wanted to prove to everyone that she was fine without Katsuki. Because back then when they broke up, Everything fell apart and she stopped caring about everything around her.

She loves the girls because they almost Wrestled Katsuki for hurting her , and some of the Boys even attempted to fight him because Y/n was a wreck back then.

But now look at her. She's not a narcissistic bitch but she really outdid herself. She wore a red sleeveless fishtail dress that clung onto her curves like it was her own skin, the dress had little crystal details that matched her hair. Her make up was Smoky and elegant and her lips were a crimson color of red. Her hair was curled on the ends and she did end up dyeing her hair to H/c, she also had a few accessories on, like the emerald necklace, a few bracelets she randomly picked out and a small Phoenix Hair clip.

She looked gorgeous and she could tell from the way passersby looked at her when she got out of her car right infront of the restaurant.

She walked towards the receptionist who was oogling on her figure.

Clearing her throat she caught the attention of the receptionist.

" I'm here for Denki Kaminari's Party " Y/n stated and the receptionist immediately stumbled towards the door opening it for her.

" This way ma'am "

" Thank you " Y/n thanked the man who started nodding his head nervously and she made her way inside.

The whole place was noisy and she could see her old classmates chatting and drinking the night away.

The first one to notice her was Momo.

" Oh my God Y/n!? Is that you " Momo exclaimed running towards y/n and giving the girl a tight hug.

The whole room was quiet, everyone's attention was directed towards y/n. She really was a head turner. The states she was getting was a bit overwhelming but she didn't mind. Someone in the room did Though.

" Woah! You really did dress to impress Missy! Where the hell have you been? " Mina joined in and y/n didn't hesitate to hug her as well.

" You're Drop Dead Gorgeous! We didn't even recognize you... I mean... Look at You! Damn " Hagakure complimented slapping y/n's ass.

" Hey keep your hands to yourself " Y/n muttered as she shoved Hagakure playfully.

" My goodness! I can't believe my eyes, Don't tell me you don't have a boyfriend!? It's kinda impossible for you Not to if you Look that Hot " Uraraka joined their little group and soon the boys also gathered around her to Either greet and hug her or comment on how she looks.

The attention she's getting was flattering but a bit suffocating.

" Ok, enough about me. How are you guys? " Y/n tried changing the subject but none of them were up for it.

" Well Duh, we all work in the same city and some of us gets paired up from Time to Time so there's nothing new about us that we didn't Know. You on the other hand moved to another fucking City and we barely have any contact with you so don't change the subject " Jiro stated and everyone seemed to fire their questions towards me one by one.

" So how are you? Are things good over there? I heard you ranked 2 in your city"

" Yeah everything is alright , things are pretty stressful though "

" You're pretty popular there! I see you on the news all the time "

" Er... Well... I can't even get some alone time without people trying to shove themselves to me "

As y/n was bombarded with questions a certain blonde male kept his gaze glued to her figure, she was gorgeous that's for sure and he could barely keep his eyes off her figure but that doesn't mean everyone else had to do that.

Even if they aren't together anymore. She is still considered to be his property and it's pissing him off that she didn't even try to acknowledge his existence. It was spissing him so much that she gave everyone a hug and not him. Why is she so happy talking to other men when he's right here waiting for her to finally look at him.

It's fucking irritating . She was beautiful... Too beautiful that he feels like someone else would take her if he even dares to look away.

It was painful to see how much she had grown without him. He's starting to regret his decision. Damn it. He knew he missed her but fuck. He didn't know he missed her to the point where it's actually painful to see her here but ignore him like he's nothing.

His mood was foul and everyone noticed, sure they were pissed that Bakugou Had the face to hurt y/n but they saw how hurt he was too, and one time during a small get together Bakugou started screaming her name and yelling why he left while sobbing angrily like a sick lunatic. And they finally understood why he made such a rash decision. It was because of his insecurities and nobody thought that this Haughty Hero was actually insecure about something.

And everyone felt bad for him because after y/n left he was a reckless Asshole who kept getting himself hurt over and over again as if he's pushing himself to the brink of death on purpose. Everyone knew he regretted his past actions and that's exactly why they were gonna help these two love sick puppies out.

" Hey! Let's play Seven Minutes in Heaven! " Denki suggested and everyone got the message.

" Really? Denki why would we play that here?" Y/n laughed but to her surprise everyone was in on it too.

" Yeah sounds fun! "

" I'll get the bottle! "

" Who's going first? "

____________________

Everyone was seated on the floor forming a circle.

" Ok I'll spin the bottle and if the bottle lands on you, you have to go in the closet with the person the end of the bottle is pointing towards. Simple as that " Kirishima explained and he started spinning the bottle.

" Hey y/n have you heard about the latest trend lately? " Momo asked y/n who's eyes we're torn away from the bottle and her attention was snapped towards Momo.

Sero moved fast and immediately pointed the bottle at y/n and Bakugou.

Bakugou saw the whole thing and he stared at his friends in disbelief.

" Kaachan.... I think you deserve a second chance " Izuku muttered and everyone gave Bakugou a thumbs up or a supporting look.

Bakugou was touched as he stared at everyone with thankful eyes but he was a prideful asshole so he turned his head away muttering.

" I don't need your help shitty extras " His comment made everyone chuckle.

" You better not ruin this Bakugou or else I'll poke your eyes out " Jiro threatened before she turned to y/n

" Y/n! You're going in the Closet with Bakugou! "

Y/n froze at the mention of Bakugou's name her eyes trailing down to ten bottle that was pointing at her and Katsuki.

" What? No" Y/n grumbled her tone filled with venom. Bakugou noticed her tone and it almost made him flinch.

" It's only seven minutes y/n...dont tell me you still love him that's why you refuse to do so " Denki stated slyly earning a menacing glare from the girl that made him shiver.

" I'll fucking do it and you better watch me you Prick " Y/n stood up from her place stomping her way towards the closet, opening it as she pointed inside her gaze landing on Bakugou.

" Get in so we could get this over with " She hissed before stomping inside Bakugou who was a bit astonished by how fierce she had become. But nonetheless he followed her inside the closet closing it as he stepped inside.

It was quiet, far too quiet but he was determined to change that.

" Y/n...I-"

" Shut up" Y/n cut him off sharply and he can't believe he was this sensitive when it came to her because damn it hurt when she said it like that.

" I'm sorry... I know it's not gonna fucking Cut all the shit I put you-"

" You fucking bastard I said shut up " Y/n growled but Bakugou continued.

" I was the biggest idiot in the world --"

" Bakugou. Fuck off. "

" Please just lis--"

" Did you listen to me?! Did you listen to me when I begged you to not end things between us? Did you know how much pain I felt losing you? Because you didn't have the fucking balls to choose me? Do you know how worthless I felt? I felt like I wasn't a good enough reason for you to choose me. I felt like I wasn't enough, because you never looked back on your decision and just kept going leaving me behind ... To pick myself up and pretend like nothing happened. Stop this Bullshit Katsuki, Let's just pretend like we're strangers causing its better that way---" Y/n was cut off with Katsuki's harsh tone.

" Don't you dare Fucking Go there woman! I'm a poor excuse of a boyfriend I know! And I regret the day I made the decision in leaving you because everyday is like walking in an eternity of hell without you.. I missed you so damn much... I missed your laugh... Your smug smile... Everything... I missed you! You wanna know why I ended things? It was because I felt weak, I felt like you deserve better so don't you dare say that you're not enough! Because you're more than enough! I was scared that villains may come after me and they'll take you because I wasn't strong enough! That's why I dedicated my time in trying to be better because the day I'll be ready is the day I'll claim you back . Today is the day.... And you have no idea how painful every passing day is for me without you.... And you turned me into this pathetic shitty love struck idiot who becomes soft and mushy when you're around!... I'm pouring out my feelings here because this may be the last! And I'm not good at this shit you dumbass! You knew that from the start but... I'm begging you Please... Give me another chance Because I Fucking Love you" Bakugou's voice broke at the end of his sentence and y/n was conflicted.

Was this why he left? It still doesn't count for what he did! He hurt her yet why does she feel so happy to hear him say that? Why is her heart beating so fast when he said those three words she never knew she craved. Why is her mind and heart urging her to give him another chance? Simple she knew the answer and it was because she never stopped loving him at all. Even though she hated him, she still loved him the same.

The room was filled with silence and y/n couldn't mutter another word. She wanted to say Yes. But her pride was getting in the way.

Bakugou was losing his patience, growling in frustration he lunged himself at her pinning her to the wall with both of her hands pinned above her head by Katsuki's hand.

" Screw it Bitch, I miss you too much to Just Let this shit slide. If you Kiss back you're Fucking Mine Again you Hear me!? " Bakugou yelled and he didn't give y/n any time to protest because his lips were already on hers.

Kissing her lips with Vigor and Neediness. It almost seemed desperate , he continued Kissing the girl with everything he had, devouring her lips with his and it didn't take long for y/n's pride to hold out because but broke the second Katsuki's Lips touched hers.

She kissed back with the same intensity. Katsuki let go of her hands and her hands immediately flew up to his neck pulling him closer as her fingers ran through his hair, she dug her fingers through his hair tugging on it desperately . Katsuki's hands were roaming her body in any way they could until finally stopping on her waist.

Fuck he missed her so much, he missed her so Fucking much and right now. He's gonna savor every moment of this. He missed these lips and how she kissed him.

If Oxygen wasn't much of a problem then neither of them would have pulled back.

Panting and breathless Katsuki pressed his forehead along hers a deep chuckle vibrating from his chest.

" So.... Was that a Yes? " Y/n could her the smugness of his voice making her growl at him.

" I Fucking kissed you back didn't I? " She snapped rolling her eyes.

" Well... I didn't quite feel it... Oh well, Looks like we're gonna have to do it again " Katsuki smirked and he was about to dive in for another round but Kaminari had slammed the door open making the two flinch.

" Times up---oh" Kaminari grinned as Katsuki and Y/n glared daggers at him.

" You shitty Pikachu! Can't you see we're busy here!? " Katsuki roared as he tried grabbing Denki who immediately ran away form the door.

With a sigh y/n dragged Katsuki out of the closet and everyone was looking at them with playful eyes, some even giving Katsuki a suggestive wink.

Y/n's eyes trailed up to Katsuki's face and she paled almost immediately seeing the red lipstick smudge on his lips.

" Katsuki you Fucking asshole! You smudged my lipstick! " Y/n barked smacking Katsuki's head and Katsuki was fats to react.

" Haah!? I didn't hear you complaining when I was sucking your lips woman! " Katsuki barked back.

" How the fuck was I supposed to complain when you were practically shoving your lips towards mine!? " Y/n said in defense as she raised her hand about to smack Katsuki's head again but he caught her hand .

Katsuki bent down and slung y/n over his shoulder carrying the angry girl.

" Shut up woman, I'll buy you a whole mall of lipstick if it makes you feel any better, and you extras!... Well... I'm only gonna say this once... T-Thank you " Katsuki muttered and everyone cheered and teased the blonde boy who was now cussing everyone for laughing at him.

" Put me down! " Y/n yelled pinching Katsuki's back but it had no effect because the boy didn't even flinch.

" We're heading out early! " Katsuki yelled but the entrance was blocked by the girls.

" Umm, No! We were the ones who put in a lot of effort in bringing her here Bakugou! You can't just take her away! And everyone missed her you asshole! " Jiro growled and Katsuki was immediately pissed off.

" She's Mine! Of course I can take her away! " Katsuki barked glaring daggers at the girls.

" Well looks like we're gonna have to fight in order to see who's keeping her then " Momo stated as she pulled out a staff from her arm.

Y/n was snatched away from Katsuki's shoulder by none other than Izuku who had a smirk on his face.

" Sorry Kaachan but we wanna hang out with her too" Izuku smiled and it only angered the blonde even more.

" You Fucking Extras! Give her back! "

" Why don't you guys just calm down and let me Go Home! " Y/n yelled throwing her arms up helplessly.

" No! " Everyone responded almost immediately.

" I believe we can't do that y/n because Tonight you're the prize for whoever gets to take you out of the door first! " Kids yelled and everyone was excited except for y/n who knew this wasn't gonna end well and she knows for a fact that this restaurant will become nothing but a pile of debris and rocks once everything is over.

" Oh it's on! " Uraraka jumped in excitement.

" I'll Fucking kill all of you Extras and Take back what's mine! " Katsuki yelled angrily sparks coming out of his hands.

And Y/n was right, by the end of the day the whole restaurant was destroyed, everyone was injured the moment yeh fight ensued and nobody won because y/n stepped out of the restaurant herself.

#bnha x reader #BNHA #Boku no hero academia #MHA #BNHA Imagine #Bakugou x Reader #Katsuki x Reader #Bakugou Katsuki #xReader #Ground Zero #Y/n

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thirddoctor · 3 years

Note

Would you have any tips for writing Missy, or any thoughts on her characterization in general (and common misconceptions people have/make about her)?

So, my biggest issue with how she’s written in the EU is that she’s just bonkers all the time (at least in what I’ve read and listened to - maybe some of the Missy audios are better, but I haven’t been able to force myself to listen to the rest yet). There’s not much nuance to her character. She’s also written like most of what she says and does should be taken at face value, when imo the complete opposite is true. The Master is always hiding themself both literally and figuratively behind masks and disguises and performances.

Missy being “bananas” is not her full personality, it’s one side she chooses to show because it suits her purposes (either to throw people off-guard, or to hide her true emotions). It’s a deliberate performance, a way of being in control. And it drops when she doesn’t need it or when her emotions are too strong to contain. Look at how all that crazy energy is gone by the end of Death in Heaven, when she realises she’s lost. Or how she immediately becomes serious in The Magician’s Apprentice when she sees they’re on Skaro. Or just... most of S10. She has lots of quiet moments. Her last scene with Twelve - “me too... but no” - is what she’s like when she’s stopped pretending or playing games. A good portrayal of Missy needs to have actual substance underneath.

Also, and this is more of a personal preference, I don’t think there should be many Missy stories set prior to Deep Breath - or at least, any stories set in that time should make mention of her S8 plot. They shouldn’t be totally disconnected from that. Because I think she started that plan pretty much from day one after Simm regenerated. I mean, she wakes up with no real memory of what happened, but I think she was left with a lingering sense of having failed, that her life was going in the wrong direction (Simm’s last experience, after all, was the two of them killing each other because they both believed the other was wrong), and she couldn’t keep doing things the same way. She’d been at it for centuries and she still had nothing to show for it. And she was also terribly lonely. Even Simm cared about the Doctor to some degree, but he channelled that into anger. I don’t think he liked caring. And he refused to ever be what anyone else wanted him to be, choosing to die (twice) rather than be changed by the Doctor. Missy, however, is now more open to the idea of reconnecting with him, but she decides to be the one to change him, to make him more like her so they can be friends again. And she’s just woken up on a ship full of Cybermen, so why not use them in her plan?

It just seems clear to me that not too much time passes between Simm regenerating at the end of TDF and Missy’s first appearance in S8, so I really don’t like the idea of a whole lot of stories being inserted in-between there.

S8 is also a big turning point for her. That’s her at her most traditionally Master-ish. She’s got the black clothes and the big complicated evil plan and everything. And when it fails, when she can’t get the Doctor to compromise on his morals and join her, I think that really forces her to question herself more and more. She has another go of turning him in S9, trying to make him kill Clara, but it still doesn’t work. Finally, by S10, when she’s facing execution, all she can do is beg him for her life (which she doesn’t really have any right to expect from him anyway, given all she’s done) and tell him she’s his friend, because that’s ultimately what everything she’s done in the previous seasons has been about. When she offers to “be good”, I doubt she’s even that sincere, it’s just a tactic to save her life, but I think she chooses to go along with it because why not? Everything else she’s tried has failed. And perhaps, on some level, she’s impressed by the Doctor’s goodness. It’s what allowed him to stand firm when she offered him the Cyber army. His understanding of mercy is what saved Clara when she’s in the Dalek. His kindness is the reason Missy is still alive. A long time ago, the Master remarked that, “Hate is strength,” but the Doctor’s strength is love and compassion. And he’s the one who keeps winning.

It takes a long time, a lot of learning, and a lot of struggling with different concepts of morality and with her old instincts and self-interest, but Missy does finally admit the Doctor was right and try to do something good. She tries to act out of love and friendship for him instead of just saying she’s his friend. It’s a huge moment for her, because she’s never done that before. She’s always had to be right, she’s always had to be better than him, she’s always had to be the Master, and she finally gives that up.

So, having said all that, I think an important thing to keep in mind when writing her is what point in her arc you’re writing, because she will behave in different ways depending on where she is. S8 Missy and S10 Missy are not the same. And even, say, Lie of the Land Missy is not the same as Missy at the climax of The Doctor Falls, because she still hasn’t made that choice to stand with the Doctor at the probable expense of her own life. A problem I’ve seen in EU stories is that they lean in too heavily on Missy’s... good side, I guess? But as she says in TMA, she’s not turned good. I don’t think that was a direction she was even considering until S10. She’s certainly not naturally inclined towards goodness - it’s a choice she has to make (I don’t think she realises this, but imo Twelve is very similar; he’s not naturally hopeful or kind, he’s got a much darker side to him, but his epiphany in S8 is that he doesn’t have to let who he “is” define how he chooses to live). Missy in S10 is initially just trying not to be actively evil, and goes through a long internal struggle with who she wants to be that only resolves at the very end of her life, with one decision that she doesn’t even live to act upon (and that decision to be good still involved a murder, even if the victim was her past self). From the beginning to the end of her arc she’s complicated. It’s never black and white.

(Also, some people complain that Missy’s arc seems to revolve around the Doctor too much, but imo the core of it is actually about identity and figuring out who she really wants to be, much like Twelve’s arc in S8 was. The Doctor just happens to have always been an important part of the Master’s identity.)

I guess my biggest tip would be just give her depth. She shouldn’t just be slotted into some generic Master-y role, but she shouldn’t be written as nice either. And her “wackiness” should serve a purpose and shouldn’t be all she is. If you want an example of how not to write Missy’s dialogue, read any of Jacqueline Rayner’s Missy stories.

But also, do what you want to do. These are my opinions, but if you have your own interpretation of the character, then you’re free to write that. The biggest problem I have with any Master characterisation is when it’s clear the writer doesn’t particularly have any thoughts or takes on the character of their own and are just following what’s been done before. I like it when there’s passion behind the writing. Have fun with it!

#hope this helps!#thanks for the question this is exactly the sort of thing I like talking about #Replies #Anon #The Master #Missy #Ranger yells about the Master #Ranger shut up about Doctor Who #Master meta

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thepaperpanda · 4 years

Text

A Dream || Part II || Sam Drake x Reader smut

Summary: How surprised Sam is when he meets you in the prison, and when it turns out you're the friend of Adler. Fortunately, Drake lets you play a little game with him.

Warnings: SMUT!!

Words: 4905

Authors: Cass & Rouge

♠

Sam was looking at a stone ceiling that was softly illuminated with a bright light that was getting in through the small window.

He was thinking about you while laying on his bunk. He was afraid that all of this was just a dream or at last a really successful way of getting him into Rafe’s dirty, little paws. There were a thousands of thoughts running through his mind.

All this was suddenly interrupted by two guards telling Sam that he was free. Apparently Rafe bailed him out and soon Samuel Drake was free again, he was able to simply walk out of the prison.

Dressed normally again, with bag on his shoulder Sam looked around and frowned as he spotted Rafe.

"Samuel Drake! It's nice to see you! Alive and well. I hope they weren't too hard on you there?" He asked with a mean smile.

"Oh yea, it was a heaven there." Sam muttered.

Rafe rolled his eyes and wrapped arm around Sam's shoulder to lead him into a car. "Oh, I know, I know, Sam, but look at you! Alive and well."

Sam didn't say anything. He simply climbed into the car, letting Rafe drive. Sam good knew that Rafe wanted the treasure, so he agreed on this shit.

--------------------

After few hours of drive, Rafe stopped the car. They were in front of a hotel.

"Now, Sam. Let's be open about stuff, okay? I want a treasure and you want your freedom. Be a good boy, and don't try to run because I will make sure to find you and your little brother." Rafe summed up as soon as he stopped in front of Sam's room. "Tonight you are free, but tomorrow we start searching, okay?"

Sam wanted to punch Rafe in this stupid face, but it wasn't a good idea. For now. "Okay." He muttered and entered the room, locking the door behind him. Man let out a deep sigh and flopped on a soft bed, the feeling of freedom was something he desired for years.

Sam was ready to fell asleep when a pack of cigarettes with a pink bow and a card got his attention. Sitting up, Sam grabbed the box and looked at it, those were a very good and expensive cigs. He pulled one out and lit it, looking at the card. 'Come and met me in the bar. Y/N'

His eyes widened, immediately Sam got up and ran to the hotel bar.

You were wearing a red, shirt dress, fitted one that emphasized the curves of your figure.

The black high heels completed your outfit.

As long as you entered the bar, the attention of all the men gathered there were moved to you. Some of them whistled in awe. You sent them a brief smile, and with a swing in your hips you approached the bar, taking a seat at a hooker. "Martini, please," you ordered with a little smile sent to the bartender, who checked you out with a wry grin, licking the corners of his mouth.

You tapped the counter with your long nails, awaiting for the one special man to come...

You were more than pleased as soon as you heard that Rafe got Sam out of the prison.

Few weeks have passed since your last meeting, and, you had to admit it, you were missing the touch of this man a lot.

Sam was more than thankful that he could freely smoke in this hotel. He entered the bar and looked around, looking for you. It wasn't particularly hard, you were the most stunning human being in this whole place.

Sam let out some smoke and looked down on himself, he didn't look too bad actually but still, he was worried it might be not enough for you. He straightened his jeans jacket and walked to the bar, using a moment of your distraction. "Hello there, beautiful. Can I offer you another drink?" Sam said with a soft pur, sitting on the stool right next to you.

You pretended you haven't noticed his presence, do you smirked and nodded head a little. "If you will guess what do I drink, I'll let you buy me a drink, sir," you replied, and tilted head aside to look at him above your shoulder.

"Well, thinking about such a beautiful and stunning lady like you..." Sam hummed looking at your drink and thinking about the right answer. "... I would say it's a martini, a fine drink for a fine lady like you."

He smiled at you, in a deep disbelieve he was seeing you again. This was proof you weren't just a dream. You were here now, with him and for him.

You gave him a little nod of your head, just a tiny one, barely noticeable, but you knew he understood.

You turned to him on your chair, crossing legs nicely, making sure that your dress moved a little up your thighs, uncovering the flesh of your legs.

Sam licked his lips checking your body from the bottom to the top. Oh, how happy he was that you were here, he was already getting excited about this meeting.

"Oh, you finally decided to look at me, missy? I'm glad to see those beautiful eyes looking at me." He said with his charming smile.

You nodded and sipped from your glass. "I did. And I don't regret, mister," you told him.

You slowly downed the drink, letting fee drops to fall on your cleavage, you slowly ran the tip of your tongue along the line of your lips covered in red lipstick.

Sam chuckled and licked his lips once again, looking at your beautiful lips. "You know, I have a nice room with a big bed. Maybe you would like to visit me tonight? I am an ex-prisoner, a warm and nice body as yours would be a real consolation for my poor, wretched soul and body."

"I don't know, darling. I don't know if I am allowed to do so," you teased as you stretched one of your legs, and rubbed it against his knee.

It was when Rafe has approached the two of you, with the wry smirk of his on his lips.

"Oh well, I can see you keep whoring around as always, love." Rafe smiled wrapping arm around your shoulder. "I can see that our dear Sammy here ran after the bone. Like a good dog he is."

Sam frowned, looking at Rafe and you. He could feel a nice atmosphere and any kind of excitement wear off pretty quickly, he really wanted to strangle this fucked up rich boy then and there.

"Smile, Sam. You are scaring the lady," Adler said with a short laugh.

You briefly kissed Rafe's cheek and smiled at him, poking his ribs gently. "Stop it, Adler, or I'll have to break your neck," you said, your time was vicious and smirk vanished as soon as you spot the look on Sam's face.

Slowly getting up from your chair, you touched man's chest. "He's very important. The most important here, Rafe," you told him.

"Well I am sorry, love, but we all know you're not a saint." Rafe hummed, rolling his eyes annoyed.

Sam tensed at your touch and gently pushed your hand off his chest. "I need to smoke, I will go outside. Don't worry, I won't run away." Sam did just as he said and went outside to smoke and calm down.

Rafe watched him leave. "Listen now, you little slut." He growled bending your arm enough to make it hurt. Rafe knew how to do it so no one realized what's going on. "You better work on him, because I need this fucking treasure. Don't forget our deal. Now, go after him." He ordered.

You clenched teeth and hands in fists, you gasped as you felt that his fingers probably have left a bruise to your shoulder. "Don't worry, I'm working on this," you snarled through clenched teeth. "Now, let me finish my work."

You grabbed your purse, and followed Sam outside the hotel.

"Better make it quick." He growled behind you and simply went to order himself a drink.

Meanwhile, Sam was sitting on the kerbstone, smoking as always. He couldn't tell what upset him that much, maybe it was Rafe, maybe he was simply jealous???

"Is it a free spot?," You asked pointing on the place next to him, and before he managed to reply, you had taken the seat. "I'm sorry for Rafe, he's blinded by this treasure you two are going to hunt," you said sadly, placing palm on Sam's shoulder.

Sam smiled, nodding his head. "Believe me, I know this. He was like this even whole fifteen years ago, he was ready to kill whoever got in our way." He summed up before taking a drag of his cig. "He is the reason I got shot and my little brother is traumatized for life."

Sam stayed quiet for a longer moment, collecting his thoughts and everything. "So... You and Rafe. You two are a thing?" He asked unsure if he even wanted to know.

You stroked his back slowly. "I heard about Nathan. Did you let him know you're alive, safe and sound as much as you can be?," You asked, being truly interested in getting an answer.

As soon as man asked about you and Rafe, you chuckled loudly, holding hand on your abdomen. "Me? And Rafe? Never, even though I know he would want this," you replied openly. "Why are you asking? Are you jealous, Mr. Treasure Hunter?"

"No, I did not. This asshole wouldn't let me, I just know that Nathan has a quiet, normal life. Better if this stays this way, he deserved this more than anyone else." Sam sighed rubbing his eyes, sure he missed Nathan. He wanted to contact him, tell him everything but it wasn't a good idea. Now his brother had a life that Sam always wanted to give him but wasn't able to after their mother's death. It was better to stay away. "Yes I am jealous, plus he wasn't really nice when it came to you. I don't care who he is, this is not how you treat your 'friends'. On the other hand... Does he even know how to treat others right?" Sam sighed throwing away the end of his cigarette.

"He does when he has a purpose," you told him briefly, with a slight shrug of your shoulders. "Sometimes he can be charming even."

"Now he has a purpose and he treats both of us like shit." Sam sighed and looked at you. "This is stupid, but I missed ya. I couldn't wait to see you again." He said suddenly with a soft smile.

You couldn't wait any longer. Your hand was reached slowly towards him, you touched his cheek, caressing his rough skin gently, smiling at him. "I missed you too, Samuel."

Sam cupped your hand on his cheek and smiled even more, enjoying your soft touch. "Hey, I know that I am old but there is no need to call me by full name. Sam will be enough." He winked at you and turned his head to kiss your palm.

A shiver ran along your spine, you felt the sensation building within your abdomen. "Sam, is it better this way?," You asked and trailed fingertips along his jaw.

He kissed your finger and smiled. "Oh, much better, baby. So? What will we do now, huh?"

"I have no idea," you told him. "Whatever you want to do," you offered.

"Can I ask for your purse?" Sam asked.

You blinked few times, yet nodded slowly, handling your purse to him.

In first moment you wanted to take it back, being afraid he might find some inappropriate things there, but the feeling quickly vanished.

Sam looked through the content on your little bag. He didn't pull anything until he found your keys. "And there we go. Those, looks like keys to your flat. I bet my life that girl like you has a big bed." Samuel summed up moving closer to whisper into your ear. "Big and soft bed where I can make you scream my name louder than you did back in the prison."

As blush hit your cheeks, you gasped loudly, looking at him, a sparks in your eyes made them glistening like a stars. "Sam!," You chuckled nervously. "You're a little lecher!"

But you slowly got up and offered him your hand. "It's not too far from here, three or for blocks," you informed. "We can have a walk along the shoreline."

"I am just your local, good, old seducer, sweetheart." He got up and offered you his arm. "But you don't need to fear, there is one lady that put a leash on me."

Sam started to walk as soon as you accept his arm. "Besides, you are the most beautiful girl in the whole place. It would be shame to not try get between your legs."

"Samuel Drake!," You raised your tone at him, which made few people on the sidewalk turned around to look at two of you. "Don't be such a perv," you instructed him.

When you were walking, you still had this awful feeling of being observed, so you turned your head to check whether you were followed or not, but you haven't noticed anyone.

Sam only laughed at you reaction and wrapped his arm around your shoulder. "I may be a pervert but on the bright side I am your perv." He hummed and kissed side of your head.

Sam walked with you, he noticed your odd behavior. He felt that something bother you. "Y/N? Is everything okay?"

"Yes, I'm sorry, it's a little paranoia I guess," you turned the situation into a joke. "When someone as Adler is a friend of yours, you need to be cautious," you added.

Sam tightened his arm around you in protective manner, looking around with a frown. Soon his attention returned to you. "Is this rich asshole hurting you?"

"All the time," you summed up. "He's vicious, he good knows what to do to make a person feeling insecure," you told Sam.

The walk along shoreline was a pleasant moment, you enjoyed it so much, and wished this moment last forever.

Sam kissed the top of his head. He just got one more reason to murder Rafe as soon as he will be able to, or at last watch him die. "You are safe with me." He whispered. Sam meant what he just said. Sure, Adler sent you to prison just to bargain Sam into going with him, but Samuel fall hard for you. He wasn't going to let you go.

As soon as you reached the fancy surrounding, you turned left, heading to a house with a beautifully trimmed lawn. You stopped in didn't if the door and looked for the keys in your purse. As soon as you did, you opened the door, and stepped inside.

Sam followed you inside and looked around, the house was fancy. Maybe a little bit too fancy as for him, he was a simple man but he indeed was impressed.

But there was no time for tour or anything. Sam suddenly picked you up, wrapping your legs around his hips, he gave you a cocky smile. "Hey there, beautiful."

Taken by a surprise, you squeaked and chuckled, wrapping arms around his neck. You dropped the keys to the wooden floor, they fell on it with a loud, metallic noise. "Hey there, handsome," you greeted him while placing a tiny kiss to bridge of his nose.

Sam purred loudly at the soft feeling of your lips. "Oh, sweetheart. You have no idea how much I missed those lips. Just in other place." He joked and his lips moved to your neck where he started to gently kiss and bite your skin.

You moaned for him, slipping your hands into his hair. "Maybe not here," you gasped. You were already shaking from desire, the heat between your legs started to be unbearable. "Put me down," you asked him. Your lips traced the line of his jaw.

"Why not? I could fuck you nicely against the wall like I did before." He growled against your neck but soon he obeyed you and put you down. "Lead the way, sweetheart."

You grabbed him by his rough palm, and lead the way upstairs. You stopped minding the blush that appeared on your face again after Sam's words.

As soon as you entered a long hallway, you let go of his hand and started unzipping your dress, still with the familiar swing in your hips.

Sam followed you slowly looking at the little show. He couldn't describe how much he wanted you, after this one time with you he desired only you. He moved closer and helped you with the zipper a little, his hand gently slipped under your dress. Sam smiled to himself. "I missed the feeling of this soft skin."

You only smirked at his words, cold shivers ran along your spine once again. You were curious, what exactly this particular man had in himself that he was turning your mind upside down.

Soon, you opened the door leading to a huge bedroom. The bed was placed near the entrance to the balcony, a satin quilt on the bed shone in a light of the moon which peeked from behind the clouds.

You made sure the zipper of your dress was fully opened, then you simply let the dress fall down to your ankles. You stepped out of it; you were wearing only lacy, black panties beneath.

Sam watched you with his mouth opened, he never forgot how your body looked, but now in this other circumstances you were even more beautiful. He could imagine all sort of stuff he could do to you and this sweet body of yours. "Oh, little one. You love to tease, huh?" Sam asked removing his jacket and shirt, exposing his chest to you. "It's not nice to tease, I think I will have to teach you some stuff." Samuel walked closer to you and pulled you into a heated kiss.

You wrapped arms around man's neck, pressing boobs to his exposed chest. Your tongues danced together, and you hummed into the kiss. This was all you needed.

When you broke the kiss, you smiled at him, and walked to the bed, where you laid, rubbing thighs together, watching him. "Did I tell you I love your body? Even with those," you pointed the scars the bullets have left on his lower stomach.

"Well, women naturally love some scars. It shows how strong and brave the man is." Sam joked removing his pants slowly.

He walked to you bed slowly. Samuel grabbed your foot and placed a kiss on top of it. Soon he moved up, kissing every inch of the skin until he got comfortable between your legs. "Hmmm, let's see if I remember where it is." He hummed before rubbing your clit through your lacy panties.

"Oh, God," you gasped loudly and rolled head back, resting it on the mattress of your bed. "You're the most teasing person I've ever met."

"Well, I learn from the best." He looked up at you and winked. "How about we take this off, huh?" Biting his lips gently, Sam pulled your pants off.

"Sam," you gasped once again and rubbed thighs together. "You're turning me on so much!," You told him while slipped hands in his hair.

He chuckled, pulling your thighs apart. "Oh, I know this, sweetheart. I try my best."

Sam leant down and kissed your belly, only to move down to your pussy. His thumb started to again rub circles on your clit as his tongue started to softly lick and tease your entrance.

"Fuck," you gasped and placed your legs on his wide shoulders. "That's it, handsome, you hit the perfect spot," you whispered through parted lips, your fingers tangled with his hair.

Sam hummed, looking up on you. He took his time eating you out, there was no time to rush it all. Sam started to rub your clit faster as soon and his tongue slipped inside of you.

"Sam! You're unfair!," You moaned sweetly. "I want to be gagged with your cock," you moaned.

Sam smiled and moved up, he gave you a quick kiss. His hand stayed between your legs. "Oh, I know what you want, sweetheart..." He pushed two of his fingers inside of you while his thumb started to abuse your bundle of nerves.

"I didn't want it!," You chuckled darkly, but enjoyed the touch and pleasure he has offered you. "I want to suck you off, you heard me?"

"Oh, I heard you just right, but tonight I am in charge here." Sam smiled curling his fingers deep inside of you. "You will cum for daddy like a good girl you are, and then we will think about prize for you."

Your thighs twitched, and you arched your back. "That's it, Samuel, just like that..."

You turned into a moaning mess, writhing in the bed at the slightest touch of his.

Sam stopped his movement and looked at you with a soft frown. "Samuel?

"Yes...," You replied and cocked your brow. "Is this a problem, Samuel?," You teased. You good knew he preferred short version of his name.

He chuckled. "You want daddy to do something, you need to address him properly." Sam informed you with a smile.

"Daddy," you emphasized the word while rolling your hips a little. "Is it better?"

"Now this is more like it, sweetheart." Sam smiled and resumed the movement of his fingers. His lips wrapped around your nipple, sucking and biting it gently.

"Fuck," you moaned quietly as you felt how you pussy started clenching around his fingers. Soon, they were flooded with your juices, and your peak has left you as a mess.

Sam watched your peak with a satisfied smile, he removed his fingers and licked them with a loud, happy sound. "Delicious, I never thought a girl can be that tasty."

Sam sat on the edge of the bed and removed his pants and boxers, tossing them somewhere on the floor. "Just look what are you doing to me, sweetheart." He hummed, wrapping his hand around his already hard cock.

You knelt on the bed, and crawled to Sam. Your hand placed on his chest, and slowly moved down, to reach his abdomen where your scratched him lately. "All I can see is that my Sam is pretty hard for me, and I want to tell you a secret," you said while climbing his lap. You leant forward to whisper into his ear. "Your girl is dripping wet, and her pussy is so ready for this cock."

Sam smiled and rubbed your hips, but suddenly a hard slap landed on your bun. He only looked at you before giving you one more slap, he made sure to massage the place after. "That's nice and all but as I remember I told you something. Want something from your daddy, address him properly." Sam reminded you.

You leant forward to whisper into his ear once again. "Your girl is dripping wet for you, daddy," you told him, rolling hips in his hands.

"Oh, so you don't want to choke on daddy's cock anymore? Come here than, love." Sam said and raised you only to lower you on his cock.

"Fuck. I missed this." Sam growled at the nice and familiar feeling of your walls squeezing his cock. He started to move slowly at first, holding your waist tightly.

"Yes, that's it, that's it!," You moaned and used all of your strength to push him back, so he laid on the mattress. Then, you made yourself comfortable, increased your pace, and soon you were riding him strongly and viciously, chasing the pleasure.

Sam let out a soft moan and grabbed your hips, he trusted his to met your movement. "Someone likes to go fast, huh? You know we don't need to rush things up this time?"

His hand traveled from your hip to your clit to tease the bundle of nerves, looking up at you.

"I... Know," you gasped and rolled hips harder for him. "But I want to ride this cock as hard as no one before did."

"I can see that, sweetheart, and I need to say I love it." He purred.

After this Sam sat back up, wrapping one arm around your waist to hold you in place. He started to fuck you hard, getting deeper and deeper with every thrust while rubbing your clit firmly. "Now, be a good girl and cum around daddy's cock."

"I don't want to cum yet, daddy!," You moaned as you scratched his back with your nails.

Sam grabbed your chin making you look directly at him, he didn't stop moving his hips. "Oh, yes? Than what do you want, sweetheart?"

"I want to suck you off, daddy, please, I was a good girl, I deserved a price."

"Well, I don't know. I gave you chance and you immediately jumped on my cock." Sam said teasing you by giving you one deep and hard thrust. "You really think you deserved a prize?"

"Yes, daddy! I did!," You begged

Sam laughed shortly and pulled you off his cock. "Okay, but just because you are so good to your daddy, sweetheart. On your knees and get to work, make your daddy proud." Drake said smiling at you.

You knelt in front of him quickly, your palm wrapped around his shaft, you slowly pumped your hand, moving it up and down, your eyes never left his. In the end, you spat on his tip, spreading your saliva with fingers along his dick.

Sam groaned and throw his head back, enjoying your touch, his hand slipped into your hair to grab them gently. "C'mon, don't torture your daddy, sweetheart. I gave you the prize, show how thankful and happy you are for it."

You wrapped your lips around his shaft, starting to bob your head slowly at first, you increased the pace with time, humming around his shaft, just to provide him more sensation. Soon, you pulled his cock out, spat on it again, and licked the main vein on the lower side. He tasted amazingly good.

Sam moaned and looked down on you, panting heavily. He was getting closer and closer to his climax, all thanks to your wonderful touch. "Fuck, this feels so fucking good."

You slipped his cock deep down your throat, gagging with it. You closed eyes shut, a single tear streamed down your cheek, and you started bobbing your head again, as hard as it was possible, until he came.

"Let's see how you like that." Sam growled as he grabbed back of your neck, forcing you to deepthroat him, just then he cum deep down your throat. "Fuck..." He gasped letting go of your nape.

You closed eyes shut, yet swallowed entire load he offered you. His sperm tasted bitterly, like a black coffee, so in a first reflex you gagged, yet in the end you enjoyed the taste

He cupped your cheek. "Such a good girl, you swallowed everything. What should I do with you now, huh?" Sam purred, stroking your cheek with his thumb.

"Whatever you want, Sam," you purred and moved up, licking a trail from his cock to his neck.

"Wrong again, sweetheart but I'll let it slide this time." Sam picked you up a little and laid you on the bed before diving between your legs, eating you out like a starving man until you came.

"Fuck, fuck," you were moaning for him, your legs placed on his shoulders, you body shaking from the pleasure he was offering you. It was until your pussy started clenching rhythmically, you rolled head back and screamed his name as you came all over his face.

Sam pulled away, licking his lips. "Well, that was something delicious. Fucking tell me you have cigarettes here, beautiful." He said with a soft laugh.

"In a drawer," you gasped and showed the direction with your head. "Oh, fuck, what have you done to me."

Sam quickly got to your drawer and took the box of cigarettes, pretending he didn't notice your toys there. He lit one cig and smiled at you. "Well, I just show you how a real man fucks lady nicely, I thought it was clear." He shrugged pulling you closer. "Besides, those stuff in the drawer? We need to use them one day, my naughty girl."

"If you'll be a good boy then maybe I'll think of this," you told him while you were still playing with your pussy. It was still so sensitive after the sex, and you enjoyed it so much. "Now. Better gather your sexy ass, and find the treasure for Rafe. Or he will kill us both."

Sam hummed, nodding while taking a drag of his cigarette. He puffed out a smoke and looked at you. "You see, I would but there is one thing that is stopping me, ya know?”

You gasped after the kiss. This man was a death of yours. He was spinning your head round, like a wheel.

You gave him a look and smirked. "I hope for more adventures with you."

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scullydubois · 3 years

Text

Only the Light: Ch. 15

After shooting Mulder to prevent him from implicating himself in his father's murder, Scully takes Mulder & Melissa on a road trip to Albert Hosteen's Navajo reservation in New Mexico.

TW for mentions of guns/shooting, death, funerals

----------------------------------------------

His eyes flutter open to some place like Heaven, which pisses him off cause that’s not supposed to exist, and if it does, then how in the hell did he make it here? A fiery-haired angel lays a gilded hand upon his chest, her touch made out of air. Tendrils of hair fall against her face, and Mulder wonders where one gets haircuts in Heaven.

He must be floating on a cloud, so close to the sun that it is stained an earthly golden-yellow. His sky accommodation is not as comfortable as all those Renaissance painters made it look, and for that he feels deceived. Is the soul so solid that it is weighed down, even in Heaven? And if it is, well, doesn’t that defeat the purpose of a soul?

He is fatigued, and it’s bullshit, in his opinion, that he could be dead and still feel anything but blissful numbness. He’s about to voice this particular grievance when he realizes where he is, and sure English is turning into a lingua franca of sorts, but something tells him that God isn’t spending his spare time teaching the angels the difference between too and to. So he keeps his mouth shut, unnerved by not knowing whether he’ll ever be able to speak his mind again.

“Hey,” a soft voice breathes, and he’s surprised to understand it, but not altogether upset. He tries to respond, but his tongue has tethered itself to the base of his mouth.

“Mulder…” the voice says, and it registers in his mind that it’s not an angel--not technically--but Dana Katherine Scully, and my god, what atrocity has dared to send her to Heaven so damn soon?

He coughs, then grumbles from deep in his throat. He’s got to be the most undignified person in this joint, and he can only hope his welcome dinner with God isn’t anytime soon. The angel’s hand that is actually his partner’s drifts over his forelock, her fingers guiding his hair back into its part.

“Mulder, can you hear me?”

He nods, hungry for some sense of things.

“You were shot, Mulder. By me. Because you were acting very stupid.”

She killed him?!? Maybe he shouldn’t be so shocked by this, but he can’t help himself. And she’s here too, so how did that happen? Murder-suicide?

Her hand sweeps his shoulder, and he looks down to see the space where her bullet must have pierced him. Patched up right above his heart. He didn’t expect to carry wounds into the afterlife.

Her eyes meet his, blue as ever. “I’ve been taking care of you, and you’ll be just fine.”

His lips form an O, but no sound follows.

“Let me get you some water.” Scully disappears from his line of sight, and he realizes that his cloud has a roof and an open door. You can’t see those from the ground.

Scully returns with a plastic water bottle. Deer Park, to be exact--another thing he didn’t expect to find in Heaven. She holds it to his lips, tilting the liquid gently into his mouth. He revels in it, vitality slowly being returned to him.

At last, his tongue functions as it should. “Where are we, Scully?” he asks, his voice creaky. He’s beginning to think it’s not Heaven after all, but the back of his partner’s Chevy. Which feels about as equally likely, if he’s honest.

“At a gas station In Texas, about two miles off I-40,” she answers, twisting the cap back on the bottle. “We’re headed to a Navajo reservation in New Mexico.”

Met with the realization that his life is not, in fact, over, Mulder tries to piece together the last moments he can remember. He squints, the sun outside the vehicle colliding with the darkness in his brain. He remembers a fever and a bed that was not his.

“Did I sleep in your bed?” he asks, fairly confident that more important things before and after have slipped his mind.

“You did indeed,” Scully replies. And before he can get to it--”Melissa and I shared.”

“Ah.” He pushes himself up, every muscle in his arms rebelling.

Scully pats his shoulder. “You should stay reclined.”

“I’m like a whale in a fish bowl back here,” he protests. And he’s not wrong, Scully knows this. To fit him in, she leaned his head against the driver’s side windowsill and let his bare feet push against the passenger side door, then said a silent prayer that there would be no potholes.

“Why can’t I come up front?” he whines. “I’ll lean the seat back.”

“Because Missy’s sitting there.”

Mulder glances into the front, his expectations of privacy shattered. Still, an empty passenger’s seat meets his gaze. “Well, where is she then?” he pesters, more pointed than intended.

Scully chuckles. You can put a hole in the man’s chest, but you can’t take the restlessness out of him. “She’s inside getting snacks.” Scully smiles at her partner, fondness flowing out in a way she rarely lets it. He’s been out for a couple days now--and while she was closely monitoring him and knew he was okay--she’s so glad that he has come back to her. “Do you want sunflower seeds?” she asks with a sparkle in her eyes.

He nods. “Sp--”

“Spitz.” The moments that have gotten them there, that have indebted her with that knowledge, flash through her mind. “I know.”

And it feels almost prophetic, to Mulder, that she does.

--------------------

The plains of North Texas roll past them, headlights and moonlight meeting in a demure embrace. The two-lane road bears a great resemblance to many they’ve gone down in days past. There’s no one else in sight.

Mulder has been relieved of his back seat duties, taking Melissa’s place at the passenger side so she could get some sleep. He’s slipped on the shirt Scully swiped from his apartment, a Knicks 1990 tee that she must have found in the corner of the living room where he throws his dirty clothes. He wonders if she even packed anything for herself before she hightailed it out of the city.

He couldn’t have imagined that punching Skinner would lead to his father dead, him shot by his partner, and them on the run across the country. And yet, there’s no place he’d rather be. The desert gifting them with a stunningly clear night, he’s opened the car’s sunroof and kicked back to stare up at the stars. The radio having long turned to static, quiet permeates the car.

“I’d gladly live in the middle of nowhere if I got this view every night,” Mulder remarks, drinking in the night sky.

Scully glances at him. There’s a rogue part of her brain that hoped he’d be looking back at her. Alas, the sky is his mistress.

They continue barreling down the highway, about seven hours out from their destination. The speedometer reads 87 mph...Scully is prone to speeding when she can get away with it.

“Keep it up and we’ll beat the sunrise,” Mulder jests.

“That’s the plan.”

Mulder pulls his seat back into place, popping suddenly into Scully’s peripheral vision. “Hey Scully, can I ask you a question?”

“If I said no, would that stop you?”

“Negative.”

“Go on, then.”

“Setting aside the why--though I’d be interested in that, too--how exactly did you decide that shooting me near the heart would be the safest bet?...Unless you wanted to kill me.”

“Well, I was pretty certain I’d be able to remove the bullet with what you had in your apartment, since the wound isn’t near a bone. That also makes it easier to prevent infection.”

“So you either have an insane amount of confidence in your shot, or you don’t value me very much,” he quips.

Scully smirks. “Lucky for you, I consider target practice a great stress reliever.”

“Does the Bureau psychologist know that?”

She bats his arm playfully, the car swerving as she does.

“Hey, that’s no way to treat a patient. Now I know why you’re not practicing.”

“Oh, did I forget to mention…? I’ve decided that I prefer Dr. Scully to Special Agent Scully, so this is the last you’ll be hearing from me.”

Mulder chuckles, though the very idea that there could be any truth to that gives him a hollow feeling in the pit of his stomach. “There are millions of doctors out there,” he says, “and some of them aren’t even the cool type. Special Agent? That’s way sexier.”

“Oh, is that the metric we’re measuring at now?”

“That’s the metric I’m always measuring at,” he deadpans.

“Mmm.” Scully looks at the rearview mirror, her sister’s steady-breathed sleep reflecting back at her. Good. She’d never hear the end of it if Missy overheard this conversation.

Mulder rubs his eyes, the events prior to his blackout having flowed back to him through the waking hours. “I’m sure I’ll regret asking this,” he begins, “but am I a fugitive?”

Scully glances out the driver’s window, as if she were going to change lanes though there is nowhere to go and no one else around. “I took your weapon to ballistics and proved it wasn’t the one used in the murder.” She says it so casually, Mulder notices, distancing them from the fact that the victim was his father. “But you’re still the only one placed at the scene, and it doesn’t look good that you called the police then ran. Still, the evidence implies that it wasn’t you. Of course, there’ll be suspicion…”

“Especially since we’ve both disappeared…”

“Hey, we’re on FBI business,” Scully declares. “We didn’t go through the official channels, but this is related to the X-Files.”

“Maybe Skinner will believe that if he hears it from you.”

“That’s what I’m banking on.”

Mulder smiles. She’s using her reputation to pull off a ruse. And damn, does that turn him on.

He breathes in the scents of the car--the McDonalds fries they bought with Melissa’s credit card (just to be safe), his own eau de cologne from three days without a shower, but, above all, Scully’s sweetness. Her, just...her. A hint of strawberry, a swipe of gardenia perfume, and her honey-suckle skin. Smoke was never a fitting scent for her, and he is glad she has given it up.

“I’m guessing it’s safe to say you never caught up to Krycek,” Mulder mutters, balling up the fast-food straw paper and tossing it in the air. “Unless you’ve got him in the trunk.”

Scully shakes her head. “No stowaways besides you. He ran off after I shot and catching him wasn’t exactly my top priority.”

“So you do value my life…”

Scully flashes a brilliant but bashful smile. “You caught me.”

What a relationship they have. They are each other’s slayer and savior; a cut of the knife stitched by a meticulous hand. Hurt then healed on the other’s command.

“Fox…”

Mulder glances at the backseat. He finds Melissa sound asleep, snoring softly, and his gaze snaps back to the other Scully in the car. What glitch in the universe has led her to address him by his dreaded name?

He has never been so sure as in this moment---his partner is an otherworldly being, something supernatural. Not an alien, nothing so sinister...but perhaps the angel he imagined, or a fairy who has guided mankind for millennia, or a genie granting his wishes in freeze-frames. She looks through him...not in a way which makes him invisible, but one that takes the physical aspect out of it entirely. She sees his soul. He knows this.

“Fox,” she continues, layering on the vulnerability, “I’m sorry about your father. I know you loved him, above it all.”

Mulder pinches the bridge of his nose. “Something like that...I don’t know, honestly, that he ever loved me.” He looks at his lap. “He spent his last breath asking for forgiveness. You have to wonder what he’s done with his life to end up there.”

“It all becomes clear at the end,” Scully responds, not so much a hypothesis as a statement of fact, drawn from experience. “His regrets caught up to him, and he loathed some things he did while cursing himself for the things he left undone...And in that moment, an apology was all he could do to right some wrongs.”

Mulder looks at her through the corner of his eye, somewhat disturbed by the oracle she has become. “He asked me to forgive him,” Mulder replies. “That’s not the same as an apology.”

“Isn’t it, though?’

Mulder crosses his arms over his chest, the lumpy gauze of his wound rubbing him through his shirt. “Well, first of all, he didn’t even specify what I was supposed to forgive him for, so I don’t see how that can yield any sort of apology. And the very fact that was saying it at the end of his life means that it wasn’t actually about soothing my feelings, but lessening his guilt. Really, it didn’t have a damn thing to do with me.”

“So you’re saying it was a selfish apology, and that doesn’t count.”

“Exactly.”

“So do apologies only work if the recipient accepts them?” Scully interjects. “Is there no value in the attempt?”

Mulder bites his lip.

“I’m not trying to play devil’s advocate,” she clarifies. “I’m genuinely curious about what you think.”

He sighs. “I think...what matters is not necessarily if the apology is accepted, but the intent of it. Like in this case, it was ill-timed, and so I don’t accept it. Maybe if he had said it to me ten years ago, it would have mattered, even if I were too stubborn to accept it at the time.”

“So if your father had apologized to you ten years ago, you would accept it now that he’s dead…?”

Mulder shrugs. “I think I’d realize that he actually meant it, and so I should cut him some slack.”

“Interesting.” Scully says nothing else, keeping her attention straight ahead.

Mulder smirks. “You don’t agree with me, do you?”

She pulls her lips into a tightly-knitted line. “No, no, that makes sense. I just think there are instances when a poorly-timed apology is accepted, and what then? Is the inevitable misunderstanding that will result the recipient’s fault for being so naive? Or do they get to place all the blame on the dishonest person?”

“How about a little bit of both, ey? Spread the blame out nice and evenly. A sprinkle there, a pinch here...”

Scully cracks a smile. Of course he’d make this conversation dirty. “You know, you scare me sometimes, Mulder.”

And just like that, they’re back to his preferred name. He lets out a sideways smile. “Yeah? Why?”

“Because I think that maybe you’re truly crazy, you’re not just faking it.”

He laughs, deep and sudden. Pulled from the trenches of his being. “Glad to hear it,” he snickers. “Glad to hear it.”

-------------------------

As the motorcycle rumbles over the desert dust, Scully wonders how she could be so stupid. Barely out of psychosis and she sends Mulder to a burial ground. She didn’t intend for it to be his final resting place.

Eric had tried to warn him before the helicopter men, as he called them when describing the scene to Scully and Melissa, burned the place. But Mulder couldn’t hear him over the whirl of the blades--that’s what Eric suspected. As he recounted to the girls, the smoking man had threatened him, had laid a grotesque hand on him and forced him to show the way back to his house. They interrogated his father Albert and bruised and bloodied him. The conclusion, all around, was that nobody knew where Mulder was. Regardless of whether he had burned in that boxcar or somehow disappeared into the desert beforehand, he was gone.

Scully has a pretty clear idea of who’s responsible, and she wishes she had a helicopter she could ram into their dumb black helicopter to wipe them off the face of the Earth... and prevent them from wiping anyone else off the face of the Earth. Thwarting their ambitions will have to be enough.

But how? Desert heat mixes with smoldering ash as she stands over what’s left of the boxcar, making the moment unbearable. It is obvious to her that if Mulder was still in the boxcar when the ignitor went off, he is now dead. No human can survive that magnitude of burning--he would, in fact, be incinerated. Not a piece of him left behind, identifiable even to Scully’s trained eye.

And if he wasn’t in the boxcar, if he heard the helicopter and gave himself over to the desert? What then? Surely he would have found his way back to where she was standing by now. Surely she’d be able to see him, hear him, touch him. There’d be proof he was something more than ashes. Maybe even, he might have made it back to the motel. But Melissa is keeping watch, and she hasn’t said a word. Missy would not play games about this.

Logic prevailing, as it often does with her, Scully lets Eric drive her back to the motel. If he’s not here, then he’s there. And if he’s not there then--well, she knows. And isn’t it just like Mulder to leave her enough evidence to point one way without giving her the proof she needs to conclude? She imagines a funeral sans a body and shutters.

When they get back to the motel and Missy opens the door and she is alone in the room, Scully is not surprised. She is shattered. It’s like learning the day you’ll die, then waking up on that day and recoiling at the calendar. What will be cannot be stopped. Not by any power of persuasion. Any.

She wants to scream, cry, file a personal complaint with God. Instead, she walks through the door, thanks Eric for his help, then asks her sister what she wants for dinner. Scully’s not hungry--she rarely is these days, and how could she be at a time like this?--but Melissa, she’s human, and she’s been waiting around all day, and all they have in the room is a quarter-full bag of gummy worms, so yeah, Scully decides, Missy probably is hungry. And that’s something she can take care of.

Missy looks at her sister like--well, like she said she just saw an alien. “Dana, you’re not well.” Then, after getting no reaction--”It’s okay to be upset.”

Scully throws her blazer over a chair. ”I didn’t say I wasn’t upset.”

Missy sits down on the bed and pats the space next to her. “Come on, let’s talk about it.”

Scully throws her hands in the air. “He’s gone, Melissa, what else can I say?” She paces through the room. “If he was in the box car, he burned to death. And if he wasn’t, then shouldn’t we have found him by now?”

“Not necessarily,” Missy counters. “Albert told me about the Anasazi, a tribe that lived here hundreds of years ago.”

“I know, I know. They disappeared, historians have no explanation for it.”

‘“That’s what they say. But, honestly, Dana--nothing disappears without a trace. Mulder included.”

Scully shoots her a look. “So what is your explanation? That he was abducted, despite there being multiple witnesses who didn’t see a thing?”

“He called you, he said he saw something in the boxcar.”

Scully nods. “Bodies...lots of them. He said they didn’t look human. And they all had smallpox vaccination scars.”

“What do you make of that?”

Scully shrugs. “I don’t know, but I don’t think it has anything to do with the Anasazi.”

“So why did the men burn the boxcar?”

“It could have been because Mulder was in there, and they wanted to kill him. Or because what’s in there was damning to them.”

Missy bites her lip. “Did the boxcar blow up?”

“No, but it’s still smoldering.”

“Could you go in tomorrow and take a look? See what you can find?”

“Missy, I doubt there’s anything left. And besides, I’ve already ignored about thirty calls from Director Skinner. I need to get back to DC...I’m lucky if I’ll still have a job.”

“Fuck the job. Think of Mulder.”

“I need to consider both if I’m actually to uncover any of the conspiracies that Mulder--and his father and so many others--died as a result of.”

Melissa frowns. Dana’s already counting her partner out...that’s hard to come back from, being christened as a corpse. She sighs. ”Alright, I’m going to preface this by saying that I truly don’t believe that Mulder’s dead, and I know you will find him.”

Scully’s eyes narrow, intrigued by her sister’s shift in tone. “Okay…”

“There’s a technique that I learned from my therapist friend,” Missy begins, already setting off alarm bells in Scully’s head, “that is meant to help process complicated feelings about a person.”

Scully purses her lips as Missy continues--”It’s used to find clarity and--if it’s someone you’ve lost, literally or metaphorically--to give closure. I think it would help you establish a clear motivation to keep up your work on the X-Files.”

Scully’s forehead creases right between the eyebrows. “I just told you, I have one.”

“Yes, but if you go back to Washington, bureaucracy’s gonna get in the way of all of that. That’s why you drove out here in the first place, isn’t it? To avoid bureaucracy and push forward with the case?”

“I suppose,” Scully mumbles.

“And that’s exactly what Mulder would have done, and that’s what he would want you to do now.”

“This is beginning to sound like one of those ‘if x jumped off a bridge, would you?’ scenarios,” Scully retorts.

“But with the opposite sentiment,” Melissa clarifies. “You and Mulder have never been closer to finding the truth. Now do you want to hear my suggestion or not?”

Hands on her hips, Scully’s silence commands Missy to continue.

“Let me remind you that Mulder is not dead, and this is just an exercise.”

Scully nods, more to keep her moving than in agreement.

“I want you to write a eulogy for him.”

Scully’s mouth drops open in protest. “And this is going to advance the investigation how?”

“By giving you emotional clarity. Essentially, you’ll realize how much he means to you, and it will push you to do whatever you can to complete the investigation.”

Scully scoffs. “You act like I don’t even like him or something.”

“You like him, but you’re afraid of imitating him. There’s a lack of...respect for his methods. And they’re the only way this case is gonna get solved.”

Scully crosses her arms. “Gee, apparently you should have gone to Quantico in my place.” It’s not that she’s afraid, per say, but that she doesn’t think Mulder’s unconventional approach will work. Two plus years in and she still believes herself more than him. She wishes she didn’t.

“You don’t have to read the eulogy out loud,” Missy coos, knowing full well that she’ll be sneaking around during the night to get her hands on it when her sister refuses to share.

“Wow, thanks. That makes me feel a lot better,” Scully groans.

Melissa squeezes her sister’s shoulders. “It’s gonna be okay. You’ll find him, and this will help you know what to say when you do.”

Scully leans into the hug. “For the record, I think this is insane, alright? I’m only doing it because it’s getting too late to search the desert.”

“Understood.” Missy stands up. “Oh, and to answer your question, Albert invited us over for a traditional tribal feast at his house.”

“What?”

“You asked what I wanted for dinner. Those are our plans.”

“Oh.” Scully looks at her lap. It seems unfair to have to face the world at a time like this. Especially when her head is plagued with thoughts about what she would--will?--say at her partner’s funeral. And still, she continues.

--------------------

Crowding around Albert’s dining table, the party finishes the last bites left on their plates. It has been a long day--or days, more accurately--and the desolate black sky outside makes Scully feel like it’s 4am, though the clock only reads 7. She blinks toward her company, trying to remain present.

“I am thankful we could share this meal,” Albert says, nodding to Scully and her sister. “It is not often we get outsiders here, and even less often that we’re able to indulge in the foods of our ancestors.”

Missy reaches for the final piece of fry bread, biting into it daintily.

“There’s not a lot here,” Albert tells them, eyes downcast. “Nowadays, we take what we can get, and that means eating to survive...your processed foods and non-perishables have become the staples of our diets.”

Scully tries not to frown. “Well, we’re very glad that you prepared this for us. It was delicious,” she says, trying to inject enthusiasm into her downtrodden heart.

“Yes, thank you very much,” Missy affirms.

Albert casts his eyes in Scully’s direction. A shadow falls over her. From where, she is not certain.

“You are hurting, but you do not need to be. What is yours will find you. There is no such thing as disappearance.”

Scully pulls her lips into a solemn smile. “That’s kind of you to say.”

“It is the truth. The desert acts in its own way, and it is never wrong.”

Scully nods, trying to believe him. Trying to have faith. “Thank you, Albert.”

From across the table, he extends his palms toward her. “Pray with me.”

She clasps his hands and closes her eyes. Prayer is not normally something she engages in with others around, but neither is grief.

Albert begins speaking in the language written on the Defense Department files. She doesn’t understand the words, but his sincerity transcends semantics. The spirit of faith--the spirit of God--is there.

She has been thinking lately of faith. The faith she has been feeling is not that of Sunday mornings and ‘forgive me Father for I have sinned.’ It’s something else entirely, something that has compelled her to do things she would never do... until she looked down at her hands and she was doing them.

So many transgressions to count, and yet she hesitates to even call them that. Injured her partner--a suspected fugitive--to keep him from implicating himself, tapped her sister as her sidekick to take him halfway across the country, and deserted her duties at the FBI, all in favor of the truth.

Maybe truth is faith that good will prevail.

--------------------------

When Scully sits down that night with the motel notepad and a pen, she becomes a conduit for everything she couldn’t say out loud. She copies the entire Mulder file from her brain, and it still doesn’t feel like enough. It doesn’t capture any of his essence, the unique flavor of humanity that he bravely faced the world with which made him so...him.

It is then that Scully realizes you can know all the details of someone’s life without ever really knowing them, and that scares her because she gets the inkling that she has never truly let Mulder in--though he has opened up to her--and what if he dies feeling like he never got further than the young woman whose physics thesis he read? That’s not fair, not when she knows him so well.

She takes a breath and puts the pen down. She can’t compose Mulder to life. Resurrection doesn’t work that way. What she can do--and what she realizes is what every person does in this situation, and there must be something wrong with her because it wasn’t her first instinct--is write about how the man she knows (knew?) made her feel. About the impact his life had on her life.

Her vision blurs as she works to consolidate her unauthorized biography of Fox William Mulder into a passage that suggests the joy their partnership brought into her life. Though Missy said she wouldn’t have to share, Scully can’t shake the feeling that she will need this at some point in time, that having a eulogy on call might not be such a bad idea. It’s a terrible thought, but a truth every agent knows. After all, she and Mulder witnessed each other writing their wills, and that was considered a customary work duty. Nothing is out of reach.

And so she wrote as if she’ll have to read it one day, letting her emotions flow within the confines of her finely tuned self-awareness. The end product turns out somewhat more sentimental than she envisioned, but she caps her pen and walks away, giving herself permission to take up space.

--Fox William Mulder--

As he despised being called by his first name, I must take the liberty of referring to my partner as Mulder one last time. I was lucky to know him. Not as Spooky or the alien-obsessed man in the basement, but for who he truly was. Nothing was more important to Mulder than the truth. And the truest truth I know about him is that he loved his sister, and he wanted justice for her. It’s what he spent his life on, and ultimately, what he sacrificed it for. I am honored to have played any role in his mission, and I hope to continue it in his memory.

If there’s one piece of Mulder that I hope to carry with me for the rest of my life, it’s his tenacity. Mulder never, never let any obstacle get in his way. I can’t tell you how many times I wasn’t sure where he was, only to learn that he had flown to the ends of the Earth to investigate whatever lead he found promising that day. I doubt that I’ll ever encounter anyone who lives up to the passion and determination he contained within him. And it’s a shame because the world needs that...The world needed him.

I needed him too. He challenged me in ways I never dreamed of. Sometimes I wanted to pull my hair out, but mostly, I just kept thinking about how boring my life would be if I never met him. And now...I don’t know what’s next. There were so many possible futures ahead for us and the X-Files. This isn’t just a eulogy for Mulder, it’s a eulogy for all that could have been. He was my best friend. There’s nothing more I can say.

When she reads it back the next morning, she falls to her knees in conversation with God, pleading for a miracle to bring the man she has finally realized she loves back into her life.

#this got tender as hell #truly a labor of love <3 #thank you for reading as always #only the light fic #missy and scully fic #the x-files #txf fanfic #txf #dana scully #fox mulder #melissa scully #mine

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k-k-keroppi · 4 years

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t ya’ll i was watching dr who speeches cause i needed a good cry, and i have a take (may or may not be hot idk). If every companion was immortal, they would all turn into the master, i think.

under the cut, cause its a long boi

Like, the doctor and the master were best buddies, they did everything together, and even to the master, who obviously is also part of the species with the stars in their hands, the doctor could show the master so much more that the master could ever see on their own. So the master formed such an incredible bond to the doctor, and vice versa, but then the doctor left. They grew morals one day and left the master alone (except more complicated ik). And we’ve seen what happened to the doctor when they travel alone, with the whole time lord victorious, the laws of time are mine, i could be so much more thing.

And we’ve also seen what happens to the companions that he leaves behind, the ones that survive. Rose built a whole fucking time machine to drag herself along a dimension to get back to him, amy and rory give up everything so many times to travel with him, once you’re with the doctor its obviously so difficult to do anything else, because they’re so wonderful.

The master is simultaneously the doctor and the companion in this situation. He has the same power as the doctor, and he uses it to chase the doctor across the fucking universe because they miss them. The doctor made other friends to fill the hole left when each one leaves, the hole that was created the first time they left someone (the master), but the master never did. The master never traveled with anyone the way the doctor did, they never made another connection like they one they had with the doctor, and it drove them mad.

they decided that if they can’t have their old relationship back, then an antagonistic relationship would have to do, fueled by the raging anger of being abandoned by the most important person in their lives. So the master hurts people and starts wars and burns planets just to see the doctor again because the doctor left them, the doctor left them alone and now if they have to hurt then everyone else has to hurt too. ‘time lord victorious’.

but then with missy, the master changes a bit, and she’s sick of the stupid game they have to play, that she invented, she just wants the doctor back. Like with the cybermen in heaven sent (i think) she does all of that, all the death and war and corruption just to force the doctor to see that she isn’t his enemy, she isn’t different to him. she just desperately wants him back, and she’s not interested in the good or the bad of it anymore. And when he takes the bracelet, and tells her thank you, they have a conversation and there’s no malice in her voice, there isn’t any smugness. her aim was never to corrupt the doctor, she didn’t want to hurt him, she just wanted him to see her, properly. that they’re still compatible.

and then on the cyberfarm thing with not-saxon-john-simm, when the doctor does his speech asking her to stand with him there are tears in her eyes, because she desperately wants to. and she was going to! she shot her own previous regeneration just to make sure that she could stand with him with no consequences, they were both finally ready to abandon the stupid rules they had made up, and then she got shot for it.

I can’t remember where, but i saw a post that said that the latest master’s anger was the anger of someone who had been hurt by their own kindness, and i agree with that. I think that Missy finally wanted to be good, not because she believed in it, but because it would make the doctor happy, and that attempt to bridge the gap got her shot, and she lost the chance to be with him again.

and then he regenerated, and he was not better, he was not good, he was so so angry, because if this is what kindness gets him what’s the fucking point, if kindness hurts this much why should i bother, who’s gonna make me!

so he goes back to being a dick, but even while he’s being a dick he’s still desperately missing the doctor, you can see it because he texts her! what villain who hates the hero decides to text their enemy like their best friends?! I can only imagine how conflicting it must have been for the master to text the doctor, to have a relationship with her again. It must have proved to him that the doctor could love him, that character wise it was in both of them to care about each other, but it was the outside that was the problem. the electromagnetic field of reputation that pushed them further apart while their hearts pulled them together (sorry for the prose). And you can see that he loves her, even without the destruction, even without all of that shit, (a good quote for that is the one on the Eiffel tower ‘when does this stop for you?’ ‘why would it stop, how else would i get your attention?’) because of one thing he does. all the other timelords dress in their traditional dress, the doctor doesn’t look like any of the other time lords except the master. Because the master, despite consistently mocking and ridiculing humans, repeatedly calling them the doctor’s ‘pets’, dresses like humans anyway, just like the doctor does. so either he does that to show the tiniest slither of kinship, even when their fighting his clothes scream ‘look look look, we’re the same’, or he does it because he’s jealous that the doctor spends so much time defending earth, she loves humans even though they hurt each other, even though they’re cruel and mean and spiteful, just like him, so he dresses like them too, because he’s jealous of the affection she gives them. even when they’re not on earth he dresses like that.

i saw another post that said with dhawan!master he was having an identity crisis for the first time, and i agree with that too. I think that missy’s kindness and readiness to join the doctor, as well as the relationship he had with her as o had shaken him, and proved that that the doctor could love him if he was just kinder, and he alternated soft and hard throughout the series. it was like he didn’t know what he was supposed to be, he couldn’t figure out the right answer, he was stuck between his anger and his loneliness. After so long of it simmering away, his need for the doctor has finally bubbled over, and he doesn’t know how to cope with it, because enemies isn’t enough anymore.

Another thing i think was that I think the master is afraid of the doctor being better than him. they were always equals on Gallifrey, outcasts together, messing things up and bunking off school, always wrong but wrong together. but when the doctor left, all scared of fighting and afraid of killing when the master didn’t have concerns like that, i think it planted the seed that the doctor was better, the doctor was too good for he master. and over time that festered into anger and abandonment and insecurity and everything else, but with everything the master did to hurt the doctor, every planet he destroyed, it was just one more way to prove that the doctor was better. and so he was in so deep into this hero villain dynamic that he never wanted, but he can’t stop now, he cant stop running and making the doctor chase him, because if he stops then he’ll have to face what he’s done and there isn’t a way out, so he has to keep going. if he admits that he was wrong, he would have to ask the doctor for forgiveness and i don’t think the thought of being told, to his face, that the doctor can never forgive him, is one that sits lightly with the master.

anyway, the point of that paragraph is that’s why he destroyed Gallifrey. he found out that the one person he made a real connection to, the most important person in his life, the person he has destroyed worlds just to see, wasn’t that same as him. It was conclusive, scientific proof that the doctor was actually, literally better than him. It was black and white proof of all the fears he’s had since the doctor left him, because before that point he could have been making it up. but then he saw that and it was all true, that doctor left him because t=he could never be as good. and not only does it ruin any hope of a relationship, it ruins the memories of their old one as well, because a friendship like that among equals an incredible connection, but a friendship like that with such a gaping hierarchy means pity.

and not only did they ruin the relationship of both the past and the future, but they hurt her. Despite everything, the master loves the doctor, and its up to you whether you think that means romantically or wholly, but he loves her despite everything he’s done, and now he’s found out that they hurt her, they lied to her, exploited her, used her, and he wants them to hurt for it. He’s still so furious, and not even necessarily at her, but she is the only person he has who has ever really cared about how he feels. and now he doesn’t know if that was out of pity or love, and he’s angry at, for, and around her all at once, and he just needs the doctor back but he can’t get to her. he’s being pulled in about eighty different directions, as is the doctor, and he simultaneously wants to hurt her, look after her, ask for her help, protect her, forgive her, fight her, he’s so confused.

Idk, I’m not saying the master is a good person, and I’m not saying the doctor is either, and I’m not saying that the doctor needs to forgive him, I’m just saying that i don’t think either of them really want to hurt each other, and somewhere down the line they both got confused and took wrong turns and couldn’t figure out how to get back to each other. And the doctor’s response was to keep walking her path and hope to find him again, and the masters response was the bulldoze the walls in between them. and, carrying on this metaphor, when the doctor felt bad for the walls he had destroyed and tried to rebuild them, the master took that completely the wrong way and his abandonment consumed him. kinda like Spinel.

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