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spidey-d00d · 6 years

Text

Sober Pt. 2

Words; 1670

Warnings; Reader has an addiction, Detox

A/N; Here is the long awaited pt. 2 of Sober. Sorry for saying it was going to be out the other day, I started procrastinating and then 4th of July and then more procrastination.

[NOT MY GIF]

Hours turned into days, and days into weeks. You were about to hit a month on the streets. You had scored more Oxy, but you were almost out of money to get food. Right about now, it was either a meal or a few more pills, and you were leaning towards the pills a lot more than feeding yourself.

You didn’t have anyone else to live for anyways. The people that took you in for 7 years don’t want you near them anymore. They think you are a loss cause. They think there isn’t any hope for you, which there isn’t. You are drowning yourself in pills, who would want to be near that.

You looked out on the lively streets of Queens, New York. You had walked all the way from the upstate facility, down to the place you had been multiple times to get Peter Parker for Tony. You weren’t here seeking Peter this time though, you were just passing through. You didn’t have a certain place in mind, but all you knew is that it was going to be out of New York.

The world seemed to work without you. You never doubted that it wouldn’t, but it was so fascinating that no one seemed to know that you weren’t going to be part of the society anymore. Standing up from you sitting position, you fixed the backpack that you had been carrying everyday for weeks, and started walking again.

You stopped by a little corner shop to grab a water bottle, and then turned down a small alleyway. Pulling out the small clear baggy full of the small pills, you grabbed 3 and swallowed them without an issue.

You were already on a high, but you needed more. You didn’t know why, but the craving was too strong to ignore. You started getting a little dizzy after walking a few feet down the crowded street, but you chose to ignore it. ‘It should be gone soon.’ You told yourself. You walked a little more, trying to shake off the weird feeling that you had, but you couldn’t. It wasn’t going away, and soon it got worse. You lost your balance, heard a lot of voices, and then passed out on the hard, hot concrete of Queens.

The smell of chemicals and the sound of sneakers squeaking against tile filled your senses. You were blinded by a bright light bouncing off of the off white walls. Squinting and rubbing your eyes, you looked down at your body that was laying down, but not on the the concrete, in a bed, and you were in an ugly hospital gown with a bunch of tubes and wires hanging off of you.

You went to go and sit up, but you were too weak to even pick your arm off of the bed. You felt like your body was sitting in a fire, but it also hurt so bad. You also had a killer headache that was amplified when the sound of a door opening and closing very loudly, followed by 2 loud voices came into earshot.

You groaned in pain that was radiating off of your head and shooting pain to the rest of your body. You hadn’t had the chance to identify the people because you were more preoccupied with how much pain you were in.

After a few minutes of you letting the pain settle down, you open yo eyes to be met with 2 sets of eyes that had a lot of eyes that had a lot of emotions running threw them, but the most prominent ones were Hurt, Anger, and confusion.

You couldn’t look into them anymore because it was making you feel like a failure or a disappointment, so you looked down at your hands.

“Wh-Why-Whe-” Tony started trying to ask a bunch of questions at one but he was just confusing himself and everyone around him.

“Okay, that is enough of that.” Steve said sighing and turning back to you.

“What he is trying to ask is why did you leave and where did you go?” He said, with a stone face, something he did when he was either beyond pissed or he was thinking, and right now, you knew it was the 1st option.

You just ignored them in hopes that they would leave you alone and not question you anymore.

“Y/N, why the hell did you leave?” He asked in a more stern voice than before.

“Because you didn’t need someone who can’t get through a death without popping pills! Death comes with that job, and I can’t do it! You didn’t know what to do with me or how to help me, and when you 3 don’t know what to do, it’s a loss cause, there is no fixing it. There is no fixing me.” You started out yelling but finally simmered down towards the end.

They just stared at you in shock. They had no idea what to say or what to do. Tony was looking at you like he does with a project he is working on and he is trying to figure out what to do with it, and Steve's’ face had softened a bit, but not by much.

“We told you that we would never kick you out. Yeah, we didn’t know what to do, but that was because we felt like you didn’t want our help. You isolated yourself from the world and your family. You didn’t tell anyone until days after, and then you up and fucking left. We have looked for you everyday for the past 3 and a half weeks, so don’t say we didn’t want you.” Tony piped up in his dad voice he only used for when you and Peter got in trouble for touching or doing something you weren’t supposed to.

You still didn’t look up. You felt like your body was on fire, and you were putting things together and figured out that you were in the middle of a detox, the worst part about the drug.

“Can you answer me on why you thought we didn’t want you?” Tony said softly, totally condredicting his little rant he went on just a few seconds ago.

You stayed silent for a little while, thinking on what to say, trying to formulate a response in your head before saying anything. “Because I am an issue. I can’t get through a death without resorting to my old ways. I just wanted to be perfect like the rest of you, but I ended up back at square one, 7 years of sobriety down the drain.” You whispered, your tears starting to build up.

“None of us are perfect and you know it. Everyone of us have our flaws, and we all have our own way of coping with death. Yeah, we have all been through a death of a loved one, we know the pain, but the thing that you and Loki had was so strong, that I wouldn’t be suprised if it took you 10 years to grieve.” Tony said, setting his hand on your covered leg, in a soothing way.

Steve was just staring at you with his blank face, and his arms crossed, like he was deep in a thought.

“I just want to get better T.” You finally let the dam break and the tears started flowing.

“I know kiddo.” He smiled weakly, “I know.”

“Can we just go home please? I promise I will try and get better. I just want to go home.” You hung your head low.

“I think we can arrange something.” He nodded his head towards Steve.

“Yeah, I will get the doctor to sign the discharge papers so we can get you to Bruce.” He said smally, and walked out of the room leaving you and Tony alone.

“Does he hate me?” You asked, not having to say who ‘he’ was because there was only one other person you could be talking about.

“I don’t think he hates you, just is worried about you. You are like his little sister and then you disappeared so..” He trailed off. You just nodded and the room was left silent.

About an hour after that last conversation, you were allowed to leave to go under Bruce’s care, which might have been worse than being in the hospital, but at least you were home.

They had you on house arrest, and F.R.I.D.A.Y. Watching you constantly, besides when you were changing of course. You weren’t allowed to be alone anymore. You got where they were coming from,, but you also felt bad that they had to worry about you this much. It made you feel even more guilty about everything that you put them through.

You had finally gotten out of the sick stages of the detox, but now you were in the craving stages. It hurt so much not to have the drug in your system, not having it there to dull the pain inside of you.

You spent some of your nights crying so much that it woke Steve up and he came into your room to hold you and calm you down. Besides that, you guys didn’t talk that much. You could feel the disappointment radiating off of him from miles away.

Bruce had put you on many IV drips to keep you hydrated seen as you refused to drink anything. He also had you bed bound for a few days, but even when you were told you were allowed out of bed, you stayed there because you couldn’t handle the stares from the rest of the team.

They all had returned back to the compound about 3 days after you left, and they had the same looks as Steve did. You couldn’t stand yourself anymore because you made them hate you now and you didn’t know how to fix it. You made a huge mess in your mind and in your life and it was just a cluster fuck to clean up.

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